#I SAW THIS POST TODAY LIKE FOUR HOURS AGO AND THIS WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soap-tk141 · 12 days

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A new side

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Dom! John Mactavish x sub! fem! reader

Minors do not interact. 18+. NSFW. Smut.

Warnigs are under "readmore"

⚠️ warning ⚠️: praise, oral Fem receiving, fingering, overstimulation, rough sex (but not hardcore rough like in the gif), powerplay(?), manhandling, gloves stays on (hehe), doggy style, hard backshots, light bondage, unprotected sex, p in v. If I miss something, pls let me know.

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A/N: This is my first time that I write for reboot Soap. This fic, I have take time to write instead of rushed like the drabble with Captain Mactavish. I'm more satisfied with this fic. It's also proof read. The backshots are inspired by the post I saw of Soap backshots hdc. The fic is 2nd pov, and I use (Name) a couple times. I hope Soap is in character. In the fic, Soap wears the "hawk uniform". Also it's pretty self indulgent. And I hope you enjoy my fic, I did my best!

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While you are cleaning materials you use for watercolor painting and tidying up before you go home, you receive a Whatsapp message from John, your boyfriend.

You look at your smartphone screen and read his message.

John: Hey (Name). Remember few days ago that you have asked me to act as Sergeant tae ya?

Your eyes slightly widen when you read his message. You glance around if your colleagues' artists are in distance from you and not walking close to you before you reply.

You don't want anyone to look at your phone. Your mouth turns into a grin while you type a message back to John.

(Name): Yeah, what about that?

You send your reply. It honestly sounds to you like a dry answer that you send to him, but you don't want to get too hyped and only get disappointed if you reply with 'Does that mean you're going do it?!' You see John is typing and sending another message.

John: Have thought about it. And since you asked me nicely, I will do it for ya. ;) Today after you come back from work.

The message made you squeal. You feel bashful of his message. You put your hand to cover your grinning mouth.

You remember a few days ago when you asked John to act as Sergeant to you in an intimate time, (well John really is a Sergeant) he was slightly surprised and asked you why.

You gathered all your courage to tell your reason and, obviously John teases you about what you've told him. But he has figured it out a while ago that you find his military side hot.

You feel honestly a bit ashamed but you know that John will never judge and be respectful to you. You've also told him that he can think about it, since you've noticed that John was thinking of what to answer after he teases you, his face expression showed he was serious and doubtful. So John needed some to think about.

And today, he gave you the answer that makes you happy. You are now quickly continuing cleaning and tidying your watercolor painting materials with enthusiasm.

You can't stop smiling, your heart is racing in your chest, you feel like this is the best day of your life. After you're done with cleaning and tidying up, you put your coat and put your shoulder bag over your shoulder, say goodbye to your colleagues before you leave your art gallery studio.

You walk to the train station, you see you have to wait for four minutes until your train arrives. While you wait, you put your headphones on your head to listen to your music.

You notice that not only do you feel excited but also nervous. Many scenarios of how and what will happen between John and you in an intimate time fill your mind. "Maybe he will act as Sergeant while waiting for me in our bedroom? Or is he going to suprise me when I enter our home?"

You begin to think a bit too much, your feelings of nervousness and excitement grow slowly bigger as every minute has passed, and you come closer to home.

Half an hour has passed, and you walk to your home with a bright smile. Your cheeks hurt from smiling. You grab your keys out of your coat, before you put the keys in the lock of the entrance door of the house, you take a deep breath.

You unlock the door and enter the hall of John's and your house. You close the door behind you and put your keys in your coat. You pull your coat and your shoulder bag off you, after that you put your coat on the coat rack before you enter the living room.

You put your shoulder bag on the couch, your eyes wander around in the living room, you hear only the sound from the radio but, no sign of John.

That you only hear the radio and John isn't here feels a bit intense for you, since he told you-now more messaged to you that he will do it today, you don't know what he's planning.

"Special Forces! Show me your hands!" You heard a sudden loud masculine voice from behind, which made you startled. Thankfully, the voice sounds familiar because it's your boyfriend John.

You wanted to move, but for some reason, you froze, since it was out of the blue for you that John commanded out of a sudden. "Now turn around." As you submit his command and turn around, you let out a breathy gasp when you see John holds an old rifle and is pointed at you, that he literally pointed his old rifle at you made you jolt your and with your instinct you take a small backwards.

You also see John wears an blue t-shirt, over his t-shirt he wears an tactical vest with gear on it. He wears washed blue straight leg jeans and black hiking boots. John has tactical straps over his right clothed leg. The tactical straps is attached on the leather brown belt. He also wears black gloves and an watch on his left wrist.

It makes you a bit nervous, you feel your body tense. John's face looked serious and intimidating. Your eyes meet his blue ones, it feels like he's staring at you like you're his target.

He makes you feel uneasy and nervous. His face turns more calm and friendly. "(Name), calm down." Said John, trying to reassure you.

He lowers his old rifle and shows you it doesn't have a mag since it's an old weapon. "It's complete empty. No mag. No bullets."

You sigh with relief. If it wasn't John but a different unknown man that pointed a rifle at you, then it would be a much different story, a scary one.

After John sees you being a bit more relaxed, he goes back to serious Sergeant self and points his old rifle at you. Of course, John will keep an eye on you, he makes sure you will enjoy it from the beginning to the end without being hurt. "Now get on your knees." John commanded you.

That he commands you is so thrilling. You slowly get on your knees at your own pace, trying not to lose your balance while still keeping your hands up.

John puts his old rifle in his medical vest, so it's stuck and hangs on it. He walks to you, turns around and goes kneeling behind you. You feel his gloved hands touching your body, checking if you have a dangerous object which obviously you don't have.

But you feel his warm breath on the back of your neck, making you feel bashful. You suddenly let out a shudder of breath when John feels his gloved hands glide over your sides and curve from up to down.

You get goosebumps when you hear his chuckle. "Ye're one of the few targets that listen well to my orders without protests." His comment made you smile shyly at his teasing tone. But you're not sure if it's a compliment.

You noticed that you're in the role as the target for John. "Well, why shouldn't I? Besides, I did nothing wrong." You said and let out a small nervous laugh of feeling excitement.

You hear John chuckle from behind. "Ya really think ye'r innocent? If ya really are, I have to check if you're not hiding something from me under your clothes." His voice sounds dark yet playful, you hold your breath, feeling excited and nervous about what he's planning for you.

You feel him grabbing both of your wrists by using his gloved hand, his other gloved hand holding your right waist and helping you stand up ,so you won't fall. John guides you to the bedroom.

You feel your heart thumping louder in your chest. "Eh, what're you planning to do John?" You glance slightly back at John with a nervous smile. You see his mouth turns into a sly smirk. "Ye'll ken what happens lass." Oh God.

As John guides you, entering in the bedroom and close the door behind him. He lets go of your wrists and waist and takes a few steps away from you. "Strip." You blink a few times from his straightforward order, before you want to speak he interrupted you again. "Strip now (Name)." John's voice sounds a bit impatient and commanding.

He doesn't want to waste any time. You see John is still standing and waiting. You let out shaky breath before you take your upper clothes off. When you take it off, you notice he's staring at you, which makes you feel a bit flustered.

You then take off your shoes, socks and your bottom clothes till you're only in your underwear, looking still a bit flustered at him. "All of it." Commanded John, you stay silent for few seconds, progressing of what is going on.

His voice sounds deadly serious, like he meant it. Even tho you want this and you like this side of him. You shy when you unclip your bra and let it drop on the floor. You pull your underwear off and let it also drop on the floor. It's vulnerable for you that you're the only one naked, but you honestly really like it.

As you're completely naked, John grabs a plastic double flex cuffs out of the pocket of his tactical gear vest. He walks to you while analyzing your face if he sees any discomfort, but he sees none of it.

John grabs both of your wrists and cuffs them behind your back. "Get on the bed." John ordered, and pushes you on the bed. You get on your knees and position yourself to lay on your back, but the plastic double flex cuffs that restrain your wrists press against your naked back uncomfortably.

John sees it and grabs your arm. "Wait." He says while manhandling you, but not in a rough way surprisingly by making you lay on your side, he grabs a pillow and set between your back and your restraint wrists so you don't feel the plastic cuffs against your back anymore.

John scoffs when he sees your outer lips are wet when he spreads your legs. "Already wet lass? And I didn't do anything. Heh, you must really like to be ordered by an Sergeant don't ya?" John smirks as his gloved index finger rub over your wet slit.

The friction of his gloved finger feels good that made you buck your hips. Your breathing becomes shallow. "E-Eh no...." You said with a bit shy voice, feeling embarrassment to admit. "No? Well your body say somethin' else." John's smirk grew wider as his gloved finger drew small circles on your clit.

Your body tenses up, you feel the pleasure is beginning to slowly build up. You try to hold your moans and only let out breathy sighs and close your eyes. "Ha...~" You suddenly feel his gloved hand holding your jaw firmly.

It makes your eyes open and see John is close to your face. "Dinnae look away." Command John as his gloved index finger slowly enters inside you. You feel it burn a bit inside you, but John will distract the burning feeling by using his gloved palm to rub against your clit. "Ha~ Haa~" Your soft moans made John smug. "Aye, that's it bonnie lass, don't hold your voice back." His gloved finger thrusts faster and faster, making clapping wet sounds.

You let out a breathy gasp and arch your back. It's getting harder for you to look at John. John's grip on your jaw gets a bit tighter when you can't help but close your eyes from intense pleasure feeling, he curls his gloved finger inside you, the warm walls squeezing tightly against his gloved finger.

He's hitting the sweet spot. "Keep looking at me." John ordered you again. His voice sounded more rough and stern. He pressed his lips against yours harshly, kissing you roughly and swallow all the sounds that came out of your mouth.

His tongue ravages your mouth, toying your tongue, you whimper from his rough messy kiss. You feel a bit of warmth as saliva drools out of your mouth. John pistons his gloved finger inside you, feeling your wet pussy squeezing his finger.

After he released your lips, you let out a gasp for breath, you feel your face is heated. John's kiss made you feel breathless. You look at him and see he's also breathless. His mouth turns into a smug grin and fingers you harder.

You let out a gasp when he's fingering you roughly. "O-Oh God. J-John!" You arch your back, toes are curling, and you release your orgasm, he lets you ride your high while still fingering you.

You hear him chuckle as he pulled his gloved wet fingers out of your pussy. "Fuckin' hell, look how much ya came. I did a great job, didn't I lass?" He looks at you with a smug grin on his face. Your body feels sensitive, you feel embarrassed and look away from him.

John moves from your face, his gloved hands grab your legs and spread them wide open. "Didn't expect that sweet lass like to be treated by an sergeant. Did ya come up idea by daydreaming about me? I bet you do since you daydream a lot." Says John as he lowers himself till his face is close to your wet slit.

"W-Wait! I still feel sensitive. I need a minute, please!" You want to shove his face away from your wet core, but you almost forgot that your wrists are still tied up. You try to close your legs, but his gloved hands hold under your knees. You look at him with eyes with slight panic.

John stays silent for long seconds, then his mouth turns into a genuine smile. "All right, but don't let me wait too long. We still have long night to go." After he said that he blew on your wet sensitive slit to at least tease you a bit, he's getting cheeky as your body tense up a bit from his action. You feel flustered and excited about what John said.

After a minute or two, you feel a bit more relaxed, even though he teased you a few times by blowing on your wet core, you take a deep breath. "You can continue John." You see John goes from patiently waiting to full of excitement. "Finally. I have waited long enough lass." John's mouth dives into your wet core without hesitation.

He licks and sucks on your wet slit like a starved man. His tongue licks your slit before he sucks on your clit harshly. That he eats you out so roughly makes you let out breathy moans, your head rest on the pillow and close your eyes to enjoy this pleasure feeling. "Ah~ Ha~ Mm~." Your moans sound like music to his ears, no matter how many times he has heard of it, he never gets enough from your beautiful sounds.

John repeatedly licks and sucks on your clit, his heavy stubble beard brushes on your soft skin. It's a nice but also rough friction against you. You feel the pleasure build up in your belly again. You feel that John's tongue enters inside your core, he keeps sucking and licking it.

His nose bumps against your clit. Your breathing becomes already shallow again. His left gloved hand glides over your stomach to your left breast and squeezes it while his other right gloved hand still holds your leg to keep your leg spread.

As you feel your release coming closer and closer, your body tense up, legs in the air, toes curling and you arch your back. "J-John I think I co- Ah~" He didn't let you finish speaking, and instead he sucks hard on your clit. You let out a strangled moan as you cum into his mouth.

After you climax for a second time, but then in his mouth you feel a bit exhausted and sensitive. John licks his lips, tasting your arousal that is on his mouth, his chin and his facial hair. "Ya did great bonnie lass. Ya did fuckin' great bonnie."

He wiped it off by using the back of his gloved hand before he unzipped his zipper from his straight-leg denim jeans. Both of you feel your body is hot and bothered. John let out a groan of frustration, feeling his body hot but also suffocating from his tactical vest with gear on him.

He takes his tactical vest off. "Agh. Fuck! I can finally breathe." John's gloved hand grabs your hips and makes you flip around so you are now on your knees. He pulls the pillow that's underneath you and puts it aside.

Since you're wrists are still strained, your head rests against the pillow and your ass is up in the air. You feel his gloved hand glide over your ass to your spine, you shiver from it. "Get ready, lass. I'll never go easy on targets." What John said made your eyes widen, his voice sounded playful but also serious, and you realize he warned you he would be merciless.

Well, he was already in the beginning like that, but this is the real beginning. You feel his shaft glide over your wet folds, teasing you. But he stops quickly as he guides his cock to enter inside your core. John hissed over the warmth feeling inside of you. Your wet walls are already squeezing his cock nicely, you let out a satisfying sigh of feeling full.

John pulls his cock out except the head of his shaft, his gloved hands then grip your hips very firmly. And he thrusts his hips hardly and roughly against your ass. It almost knocks your air out. John did it again, again and again. Each time he gives you merciless backshots, his thrusts get harder and deeper.

John growls and groans as he feels your warmth walls squeezing his cock, he furrows his brows by keeping his hard thrusts at the same pace. Your moans drive him crazy. "A-Ah.~ John~." You can't think straight anymore.

You're not used to John is so rough to you, but you love it. You then feel his gloved hands move from your hips to holding firmly your left shoulder and your right arm, pressing your upper body against the sheets. "Huff! Ya want fuckin' more?" Asked John to you. Now, it doesn't sound like an ask to you since his voice sounds rough and a bit threatening. "Y-Yes. Please." Your reply sounds breathy and shallow.

You feel your body is hot and sweaty. John grins, pleased by your answer. "Good, because this ain't over yet." He gives you another rough backshot, his hips thrusts against your ass harshly. "Fuck. Ngh. Shite." John groans as he continues giving you hard backshots.

You feel your breasts and face glide over the sheets with every thrust he gives to you. "Oh God! John. John! John!" You say his name like a mantra. You feel then John stopped thrusting, his gloved hand retreat from your right wrists and goes to between your legs to rub your clit furiously and roughly.

"Ah.~ Oh.~" Your body wants to close your legs, and this time John let you and just continue rubbing your clit. But after a short while, he stops rubbing your clit, you let out whine that he suddenly stops. His gloved hands move to your restrained wrists and untie them, your arms feel limb and land on your sides of your body. "Rub your fuckin' clit." His voice sounds kinda pissed, but you're not sure and don't care and it's hot for you.

As you rub your clit by using your right hand, John thrusts his hips again, his gloved hands grab your hips again but then so harshly that they will bruise. His thrusts are now faster, deep and hard. The bedroom is filled with moans and groans.

John feels his body is also sweating, he even has small sweat stains on his t-shirt. John feels like he's coming close. "Ngh. Fuck!" John wrapped his muscular arms around your body and pressed his clothed chest against your sweaty back.

You feel his hot breath against the crook of your neck, he keeps thrusting, not caring that the pace is uneven. He groans against your ear as he spills his warmth cum inside you. But he doesn't pull his cock out. John pushes your hand away from your clit and rubs your clit roughly, and eventually you also come on his cock.

John let go of you and pulled his cock out of you. He shifts so he lies next to you. John feels hot since he still wears his 'The hawk' uniform. He glances at you and rolls over to you. John looks at you a bit worried that he might have overdone. "(Name), you okay?" You let out soft hum. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just feeling tired." You said while you gave him a smile.

John smiles back and let's out an chuckle. He comes closer to you and gives a kiss on your forehead, cheek and jawline while his gloved hand holds your body close. "Did I overdo it? Shall I be more gentle to ya then?" You shake your head, and move your tired body closer to him, you rest your head against his clothed chest. "No, I actually like it. You were quite a beast." You said while feeling a bit bashful to admit that you liked it.

John let out a short breathy laugh while his gloved hand caressed your waist, and your hip. "Aye, you have asked for it lass. A beast like me isn't going easy on sweet bonnie's like ya. But you did good of surviving my beast mode." Said John in a teasing tone with a smirk on his face.

His smirk then vanishes and goes to a smile. "(Name), even though I'm rough, I will never hurt you." You look at him with a smile and feel a bit shy. "I know. I trust you." You said softly. "I love you, John." You see John wrapping his arms around and hugging you against his athletic built body, and you hug him back. "I love you too, lass."

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fushiguroll · 2 years

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a little yellow post-it by your bedside was unmissable as you stretched off any remaining traces of sleep. “breakfast is on the counter, made with extra love. see ya later — love, yer samu.”

you sighed contently, heart feeling full and ready to fill your stomach. not even five minutes later, you walked into the kitchen and saw him hunched over the kitchen island, happily munching away at the bacon. you watched as the bacon, your bacon, disappeared into his mouth when he caught sight of you, “hey sis!”

he’d swung by over your house (unannounced as per usual) and eaten the breakfast plate meant for you. atsumu was fortunate in that his twin brother had to attend to some restaurant emergency this morning.

“MY BACON!” atsumu drops his fork. the clattering of the metal utensil against the porcelain plate sent silent shock waves throughout the house. of course, of course, the breakfast had been for you. atsumu thought his brother got an inkling that he’d be coming over this morning. and atsumu, using this twin telepathy, had confirmed this plate was for him.

“’m sorry, sis, please don’t tell samu, he’ll kill me.” he begged, “the twin telepathy must’tav been broke today. ‘m sorry, ‘m so sorry. I'll buy ya breakfast now, anything, just don’t tell him.”

seeing the pro-player so pathetically afraid of his brother was almost funny, almost, until you remembered the bacon.

“you mean it? anything?”

he nodded his head confidently, “anything, anything for ma lovely sis to not tell on me.”

“you got it, tsumu, but in exchange I want the video.”

realization dawned on him, the video might be worse than the breakfast debacle. “no no, he’d kill me now for real if I send ya the video. just tell on me. twins honor, I can’t do that to him.”

“nope, no going back on your words, miya atsumu. you said you’d do anything and I agreed, so hand over the video.”

there’s no winning when it comes to you, your stubbornness was notoriously unmatched. “fine, but ya gotta promise to not let him know it was from me. and if he does find out and ya don’t hear from me for a few days, go to the police and tell’em samu murdered me.”

“will do, now get out of my house and send it to me before the end of the day.”

“yer a bad sister-in-law” came the insult lighting up your screen three hours later.

“I think you meant to say “best” sister-in-law, now hand over the video.”

“ya got blood on your hand, cause samu gonna kill me for sure.”

“I don’t care, you brought this upon yourself by stealing my bacon.”

five minutes later, the video was finally within reach. you’ve caught wind it before, you knew it came into existence during your first, big fight four years ago. something about always leaving the toilet seat up had somehow snowballed into an argument that left shaking and ugly crying and him escaping to his twin brother’s house. he’d come home the next morning with a biggest bouquet of roses he could find and the two of you didn’t leave the house that entire day. his brother had called later that night, “hope y/n liked the video.” your husband thought you were in the bathroom at the time and replied, “tsumu, ya show her the video, ya dead.” and that was that.

pressing play, you reckon you could understand osamu’s insistence on keeping it hidden. all the years you’ve known miya osamu, you’ve never seen him drunk, at least not like this. gone was the laidback, easy-going samu, replaced with a man, latched onto the leg of his twin, sobbing, a concoction of tears and snot wiped away furiously by rubbing his face in atsumu’s red pants. “get offa me! ya disgusting pig! yer getting snot on me.”

osamu got a death grip around his brother’s leg, sobbing incoherently, “what am I gonna do, tsumu? what if y/n leaves me? I think I might die.”

“yer not gonna die…”

at his brother’s reply, osamu glared up at the camera and pointed an accusatory finger, “I knew it, ya wanted me to die. I always knew it. ya jealous I’m the better twin, now it’s yer opportunity, isn’t it?” he lets go and crawls to the corner, rocking back and forth muttering, “mah wife hates me and ma brother wants me dead.” the camera pans back to atsumu, “y/n, come get yer husband, I can’t deal with him anymore.”

as the video ends, you’re not sure whether you want to cry tears of laughter or of love. four years ago, you spend the entire night sobbing to yourself, feeling the emptiness of his side of the bed, wondering whether he was even half as upset as you. and now you have your answer.

“whatcha doin’?”

“samu!” you fumble to lock your phone, “welcome home, babe!”

“why ya cryin’?”

nothing escapes him. “was just watching a cute video.”

“I wanna see.”

“It’s probably gone, I don’t think I liked it. If I see it in my for you page again I’ll send it to you.”

“oh really?” he snatches your phone out of your hand, and swiftly types in the password. he watches in silence as the video replays itself, “what am I gonna do, tsumu? I’ll di-.”

his eyes are emotionless as he hands you back your phone. you peek up nervously at him. “you okay?”

“don’t associate yerself with me, ’m embarrassing.”

you roll your eyes, once again being reminded that being dramatic was a shared trait between the twins.

“samu, you’re cute. I spent that entire night crying, wondering if you’re even as upset as me and now I know. and I think I just fell in love with you a bit more?”

he meets your eyes, “only a bit?”

“fine, a lot more.”

he finally smiles, “‘m kinda glad you saw the video though, now I finally have no more secrets from ya.”

“does that mean you won’t kill tsumu?”

“nah, ‘mma give him a good beating tomorrow.”

“tomorrow?”

“tomorrow, cause now I gotta kiss my wife.”

#—edited&approved #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu one shot #osamu x reader #osamu fluff #haikyuu imagines #Miya osamu x you

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icouldntcareless22 · 1 year

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The Deal (2)

Summary: She was officially failing in life and most importantly in university! With her grades hanging of the edge of a thread and tutors rejecting her left and right her only option is to make a deal with the devil a.k.a Kim Seungmin.A deal should always be fair. Your grades in exchange for Kim Seungmin's dream girl. Simple?...Right?!

Word Count: 35k

Slight enemies to lovers, idiots to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff.

No warnings, some foul language.

AN: Finally it's here! Tumblr won't let me post it in one post, so I am forced to divide into two parts. Would you be interested in SKZ x Greek Mythology theme? Hope you enjoy!!!

Part 1

@lethallyprotected

Well it was time.

The holiday season.

The absurd seasonal drinks you were making all day confirmed that.

It was your last shift before taking off to your hometown and everyone on campus decided to pay you a visit today. You were running all around the place, making sugary sweet coffee and foamy milks until the smile was swiped off your face. It was the morning shift so that meant you were getting off at four. A quick glance told you it was 3:30 pm and the half hour that was left was pure torture.

But it passed.

At the end of your shift, you hung your apron to the back room and bid your coworkers and boss the appropriate Christmas wishes and temporary goodbyes. And you went straight home to start getting ready. You were calculating the time it would take you to get ready tomorrow morning and when should you leave to get there on time, when your phone interupting your train of thought.

You checked the id caller and saw Seungmin was calling you. Well, that was a surprise!

You slid your finger over the screen accepting it and exclaimed loudly "Puppy!"

"I told you not to call me that" he grumbled under his breath. "Where are you?"

You mentally checked before answering.

You didn't forget any lessons today.

And you didn't have any plans with him or the rest of them.

"On my way home" you replied carefully, voice so low that you doubted he was able to hear it.

A pause and then "Weren't you working today?"

"Yeah, my shift ended like 10 minutes ago" you snorted as you crossed the street.

"Oh.." he only said. But you could hear noise on the background like he was outside.

"Seungmin where are you?" You inquired, curious.

"At the coffee shop.." he replied, sounding defeated.

You laughed at that. "Why?!"

"I came by to drop one of your notebooks cause tomorrow you are leaving early" he hastily explained. It was true he had one of your notebooks, but it wasn't like it couldn't wait until after Christmas.

You bit your lip, unsure of what to say but opening your mouth all the same. "Well..I am going home you can.. swing by and leave it to me...If it isn't much trouble!"

"No, I will be there." he replied "You want anything from outside?"

"No, I am okay. I will..see you in ten" you replied.

"See ya in five" he said before hanging up.

You quickened your steps, almost fast walking to your house. You reached in no time and climbed the steps in a hurry. At first glance it didn't seem too bad, but it was in no state for visitors. So you began twirling, picking up whatever caught your eye first. You just finished tucking your bed when a knock sounded.

"Coming!"you said, rushing to the door and throwing it open to reveal a flushed from the cold Seungmin. He greeted you politely and entered your home, bringing along with him a plastic bag. You looked up and saw him fumbling.

"I..I thought that maybe we can watch that movie you said the other day.."he got out, not really looking you straight at the eyes.

You tucked your hair behind your ear, sending him a smile. "Sure! I would love to! Thanks for the snacks" You replied and took the bag from his hand.

You shoved him lightly towards your couch and made your way to the kitchen to plate the pop corn he brought. Only to feel him hover behind you. You threw a glance and there he was leaning against the kitchen table, in all his glory.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" He interjected.

"Around 9. The train leaves at 10 but we said with Yuqi to be there a little earlier" he hummed, clearly approving of your plans. "How about you?"

"I am leaving the day after tomorrow. We said with the guys to hang tomorrow evening" This time it was your turn to humm in approval. Some time out with his friends would do him good. He was way too couped up in his house.

"What are you doing for the holidays?" You wondered as you opened up a bottle of coke as well. The less your fridge had for the holidays the better. You still could recall the horrifying smell of the food that had gone bad while you were away visiting your family. Never again.

"Probably, I will just stay home. I talked with Jeongin- You don't know him.."he trailed off once he remembered.

"Baby faced with dimples?" You asked, reaching for the glasses.

He wordlessly nodded as he took a step closer and pulled them down for you.

"Thanks. I have seen him around"you confirmed, turning to him.

"Where?" He asked, doubtful.

"With you. Around the school. You know I see many people on a regular basis"you joked, recalling the faces that pasted through the store today and you shuddered.

"I guess. Anyways, we said that maybe... we can take a trip to go skiing" he said, absentmindedly as he grabbed the full plate and walked towards your couch. He set the plate down only to unravel your bed, which you had previously set. For a moment you stood there watching him in your space. He didn't ask where to sit like the first time. He had been here by now multiple times and you found yourself liking this intimacy. Him at your space.

When you didn't reply he turned towards you with one eyebrow raised. So you shook yourself out of the daydream you had and replied something like 'you will only hurt yourselves'

You quickly settled down beside him on your bed, searching for a calm movie to watch. Through a hasty search and your displeasure with the lack of good movies, you selected Lilo & Stitch, which you absolutely adored. You expected whines and arguments from your company, but only silent greeted you as the movie started. You looked over at him, only iluminated by your laptop's light and had an absurd thought.

You would miss him during the holidays.

The next morning you were running in the cold streets, alongside Yuqi. Running with all your might, although exhausting, managed to secure you spots on the second running train of the day. Your journey was calm and quickly you parted ways with Yuqi, strolling towards the opposite direction. Your dad and your grandparents welcomed you warmly into your house and all together you sat until the early evening simply catching up.

The rest two days you were spent in a relaxing state, you were simply sleeping and talking with your family. The third day you caught up with some old friends. Some you hadn't seen since forever, so it felt good to know they were doing well and some you still regularly contacted, so you were more aware of their news.

As you were walking back, your friends came in mind. What was Yuqi doing? Was Yuna well? Ryunjin got back safe from her trip to her boyfriend? How about Wooyoung and Jisung? Were they out there causing trouble? ...How about Seungmin?

You fumbled with your phone for a bit, before unlocking it. You strolled through your contacts before briefly stopping above his name.

You bit into your lower lip before locking your phone. You would be a bother. You didn't really talk the last days, besides the occasional meme you sent. It would be weird to call him all of a sudden, wouldn't it?

Your phone suddenly rang and you nearly jumped out of your skin. You quickly turned your phone over and a gasp left you. The screen displayed the name, that you couldn't bring yourself to call just now. You accepted the call straight away.

"Hey Y/N" he greeted quietly.

"Hey Seungmin"you shyly greeted back, unsure what to say now that you were on the line with him. "How have you been?"

"Good, good. My parents stuffed me with as much food as they could. I made plans with Jeongin this weekend as well."

"Mmm your ski trip. Sounds wonderful! My dad had a feast for me as well. I am just now returning from an outing with friends." You said as you walked further down the familiar street.

"Am I interrupting you?" He asked as the thought just dawned on him.

"No! No, I am just walking home. Actually I wanted to call too. I was wondering what you were up to" you shyly admitted, not knowing if it was okay for you to do that. Your nerves soon calmed at his response.

"Me too. I just stayed at home today. Watched a baseball game."

"Yeah, dad was watching too when I left" you giggled, amused to hear him grumble at his team defeat.

And so the calls continued for the next 2-3 days.

And one day calls turned into a video calls. He was only exploring the app and by chance called you, he said. You didn't complain, you just sat and humored him, but imagine your surprise when the video call invitation popped up.

Here you were today laying on your bed, trying to do math and you had mostly.. completed them, when you stumbled upon a problem you couldn't quite solve. So you decided, that a call to your tutor would be required. So here you were with your hair up and flying everywhere and your pjs on, contemplating to call or not. In the end you sat up, letting your hair down and combing them swiftly before making the call. You waited for a the first beep and then for the second and third and when you were about to hung up, the call was accepted.

It was a small comfort that he was in a similar state as you. Clearly in his sleepwear, hair messy enough to match your own and face pressed against his pillow. He seemed just as cuddly as the stuffed animals you had back in the days.

"Hey"you whispered into your screen.

"Hey"he replied, sounding sleepy.

"If I called at a bad time I can.." you trailed off, suddenly regretting your choice. You should have checked the time or send a message ahead.

"No, I was just watching a movie. What's up?" He sat up and stretched to get rid of the stiffness in his body.

"I was doing math and I am stuck on this one problem." You mumbled, embarrassed.

"Look at you! Doing your homework!" He chuckled, making you roll your eyes "Let me see" you shifted your camera towards the notebook on your bed. The explanation was brief and quite simple, much to your surprise, but instead of hanging up you ended chatting casually. Only when he made himself more comfortable on his bed, you saw the background. "Is that you on the photos?" You asked, trying to cran your neck to see better.

He paused for a moment before confirming your guesses with a nod.

"Can I see?" You interjected excitingly.

He slowly turned the camera towards his desk. A photo of him in a baseball suit adored your screen. He would be about ten,smiling brightly to the camera, or you guessed, his parents, proudly holding his bat. In the next he was in the arms of his parents, clearly celebrating his second birthday, judging by the number on that cake. And in the third he was in highschool on his sides Minho and the black haired boy that you vaguely recognized as Jeongin. He wasn't smiling full on the last one, a small smile adored his face.

"You were so cute!" You exclaimed, laughing. You couldn't see his face as he hadn't turned the camera yet but you knew he would be scoffing at you. "Don't you have more photos?"

"A few.." Short it was the reply and his tone anxious but that didn't fazed you in the slightest.

"Show me" you demanded, making yourself comfortable.

And so, he did show the few ones he had in his room. He even ventured into to his living room to show the bigger pictures his parents had hung up. Once again in the safety of his room, you were gussing over his photos

"You really were a beautiful child!"you teased him.

"Yeah. Right" he scoffed and paused for a bit. He met your stare through the camera and immediately lowered it as he softly spoke again. "You know my schoolmates used to tease me a lot. Not really bullying, but.. they would say-" he paused as if he said too much.

The cheery atmosphere shifted. His uncomfortable state wasn't something that sat right with you. It felt wrong to see such a level headed person being anxious over sharing his past experiences. You bit your lip, wondering if you should let it go or encourage him to talk to you. A look at his lowered head had you gently speaking words of encouragement. "If you wanna talk about it, I will listen"

He raised his head and looked at you. He was thinking hard about this, but after a good look at you, he signed and continued his story. "They would call me mouth-monster or ugly. I had braces when I was younger, as you saw." You had thought they were adorable. Why would they tease him about something as simple as this?

"They didn't really continued it for long. Only a couple of months. Maybe a year top. But..you know. Later, I learned Minho threatened them to stop. And who saw Minho and wasn't scared of him. I really own him one" He let out a humorless laugh.

He was trying to talk about it as if it didn't bother him, as if he was untouchable and it broke your heart a little. He was facing down again, not really looking at you so you coed him gently.

"That's why I went into the dentist care. I guess I wanted to help the kids that were like me. Maybe if I was told earlier I wouldn't have to wear them and-..." He looked at you from underneath his lashes. "Maybe if I had been told that I have a beautiful smile more often, it would have been better.. different"

You could only look at the boy in front of you, your heart breaking at his soft admission. He only wanted someone to tell him he's beautiful. And damn you, if you didn't!

"Seungmin I think you were beautiful as a child. And I think you are even more beautiful as an adult. You have a amazing smile and you are kind to talk about it as if they aren't the scum bags." That one got a laugh out of him. "Have you seen the comments on your Instagram? They were fighting over who got to have you" you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

And it worked as a flush was covering his face now and an embarrassing laugh left him. "But really shouldn't think that about yourself. You are wonderful and you should see yourself as that. You only have yourself in this lifetime. Treasure yourself, Minnie"

He looked as if he would cry for a moment, but then he smiled at you. That smile at the photo, the mega watt full smile that lit up his whole face. You couldn't keep a smile off your own face.

"My eyes! I am blinded by beauty!" You cried and flang yourself out of the screen.

"Y/N!!" Giggles left your phone, showing Seungmin also yeeting himself out of the screen. You layed down and brought the phone closer to your face. He mimicked your stance and the conversation flowed down on more easy paths.

"Don't you have your own home?!" You asked incredulously as your video call was answered once again by none othe than Jeongin himself.

"I can say the same for you, Noona! Don't you have other..friends to call?" He said with a pause full of meaning, his foxy eyes almost staring you down. You felt the blood rush to your face at his words and sure enough you were red.

"Seungmin!" You called again in hopes of catching his attention.

"Mmm" he mumbled mid bite, his mouth and fingers stained from the chips he was munching on. He briefly looked over to you before returning his gaze back to the screen.

"Did you really call me to watch Brooklyn 99 together?" You asked, amused by the boy with the stuffed cheeks in your screen.

"Yeah! Now shhhh! We're missing the best part!" He whined, pointing to the tv you couldn't see.

You laughed at him but turned on your laptop and went with it.

The morning air was biting you in the ass.

The crispy winter morning wasn't tolerable at all and if only your dad didn't drug you here for your morning holiday tradition, you would be happily sleeping away the cold. But here you were with a basket on your hands and trailing behind him, half awake.

"What gift should we buy for grandma and grandpa?" He wondered as he inspected a pink wooly shawl.

"Probably something for the winter would be good. You know they get cold easily." You thought out loud, inspecting the shawl as well. It seemed warm and you adored the color.

"Should we?" He asked back just as unsure. Your grandparents never asked for anything for the holidays. They always accepted their gifts, whatever they were, with a smile and the familiar line of 'it was exactly what I wanted'. You snorted to yourself, they were too nice to tell you that you weren't cut out for gift buying.

Suddenly as you rounded an other corner of the market, a stall caught your attention. The stall was full of baseball merchandise. But what caught your attention was a cap. It had the SK Wyverns logo on it and it was a nice shade of dark blue. For some reason, you saw it and immediately thought of Seungmin and how well it would fit him.

You didn't know you stopped walking until you heard your dad calling you. You snapped your head towards him, sheepishly and turned your attention back on the cap. You called the shop owner over and asked for a prize. It was a reasonable price, that's why you were buying it. Besides you had bought some gifts for the others, it would sadden him not to receive anything.

Your dad was quiet during the whole exchange, but you felt him figgeting beside you and working his courage to speak up. You wish he wouldn't.

"So who is the lucky guy

But he did.

"No one, just my friend."

"Hmm. You have a friend"

"Daaaad!" you whined, clearly not wanting to continue talking about it. But the old man paid you no mind and continued his 'investigation'.

"So when did you meet?"

You let out a breath. He wasn't letting it go. "He is my tutor. We met in the beginning on the semester. I was failing and-"

"You are failing?" He asked shocked. He turned towards you, alarmed and worried.

"I WAS falling. Keep up, dad. Seungmin helped me raise my grades back up."

He wasn't in a good state to hear anything right now "Honey we have talked about this. If you are having troubles with school, you tell me. I know you said you wanna work but if this is too much for you.. You don't have to work-"

"I have to work. How else can I support myself?" you cut him off, facing forward. You had strayed from the market paths and you were now walking to your truck.

"Excuse me? You say that as if I don't support you! Y/N we said that, if it compromise with your studies you would -"

"You said! I didn't said anything!" You talked back, already feeling the blood rushing to your head.

"Y/N!" He roared, taking you by surprise. Dad never yelled. He must be extremely furious to raise his tone like that. But right at this moment you couldn't force yourself to care, as you were in a similar state. "Do you have to be that damn stubborn all the time! We have talked about this! I didn't agree to you working in the first place! You-! Ugh! You still did! But! But this! This is taking things too far!" He spit on your face, his face growing redder and redder by the minute.

"You can barely manage here! How can you manage me too?!"you were both shouting at this point, anger taking over.

He took a step away from you, breathing heavily from his nose. You did the same catching your breath, your eyes were misty and you hated that. So you turned to the truck you had unconsciously reached, placed your things inside and stepped back. You turned to your father, who was stomping his way to the driver's seat and told him sharply "I will go and see if I can buy something for grandma and grandpa. I will see you at home"

You didn't expect an answer, you simply closed the door (albeit with a little more force than necessary) and disappeared into the crowd.

You wandered quite a bit, passed stalls and merchants as they shouted loudly to be heard over the others. You stopped in a few stalls to inspect some things that catch your fancy, but with your temples throbbing and your teeth still gritted on anger, you couldn't appreciate them right. So you wandered aimlessly across the market some more, until you grew tired and cold. You knew a place, where they sell the most amazing hot chocolate you've ever tasted and it was near the market so you headed there. It was a small shop, colours of yellow, green and white blended all together to create a childlike atmosphere that seemed to make you lighter when you headed in. You ordered your hot chocolate and sat at the window, trying to calm down.

Theoretically, you knew that your dad cared for you and that's why he told you to quit and pay attention only to school, but he would't be able to afford to pay for everything. You wanted to be able to go out and party with your friends without worrying if the money would be enough. You wanted to lighten the amount of rent your dad paid and help him around the house too. Help with your grandparents' meds and expenses too.

You signed and took out your phone to check the hour. 11:45 pm. It was still early for your next bus.

You unlocked your phone and played with it for a bit, before checking your messages. Yuqi and Yuna had replied to your last message and you had been sent memes by Wooyoung and.. Seungmin? You opened the message and saw it was a mathematical meme. Classic Seungmin. You laughed and called his number before realizing. When he answered after the first beep, you were shook out of your stupor.

"Hello?" He called "Y/N?"

"Hey. Yeah, it's me" you whispered shallowly. Why did you even call?

"What's up?" He asked.

"Nothing.. Nothing much! I just..wanted to chat" you said, not really knowing what to say. "Sorry I didn't know you were busy. I will talk-"

"It's okay. We just arrived with Jeongin to the rooms and we would take a rest anyway."

"Ohh right. You went skiing this weekend. How is it?" You asked as you nursered the rest of your chocolate.

"It's nice! The snow is thick enough so we can go skiing tomorrow" he exclaimed, clearly excited to slide through the snow and down the hill.

"Tell Jeongin to take videos of you falling. I need something to laugh at" you teased him lightly, still watching the busy market out of the window.

"..Y/N? Are you okay?" He asked quietly, probably sensing you weren't in the best mood. After months together when you didn't talk his ear off it was a red flag, you supposed.

"Mmm. Everything's fine" you replied.

Silence greeted you on the other side of the line and then. "If you wanna talk about it, I will listen"

A snort left you. "Gosh, I hate when you throw my words back to me" He laughed along with you trying to lighten up your mood. "Annoying isn't it?"he asked, still laughing.

"Yeah..it is" you paused briefly, but the need to tell him made you open your mouth again. "I had a fight with my dad." It was quiet for a moment, only the rustle of the bed as he sit up was heard.

"About?" He wondered.

"He found out that I was doing bad at math. He said to stop working and focus on school." You played with your cup, twirling it around in your now warm hands. People were slowly filling the store, but the seats around you remained empty.

"Okay" he dragged the word, trying to select his words carefully "And why did you fight?"

"It's just...money is tight, dad is struggling to make meet's end and pay for my grandparents' expenses. I am on scholarship and if I fail, it would only be more money-" you couldn't complete your sentence as tears choked you up.

Gosh you hated this.

You didn't like to cry. And there you stood, in a crowded shop, your only company your phone with tears streaking down your face.

He on the other line was panicking, never heard you cry this easily before. "Hey! Hey! Don't cry! Take a big breath for me."

And you listened to his instruction. You gulped as much air as you you could "Good. Good. Take more breaths for me" he coaxed you.

Breath in.

Breath out.

You continued breathing, calming yourself enough.

"Ok?" He asked, uncertain.

"Yeah..I just.. don't wanna be a burden to him. I wanna help. If I have a job that means one less worry for him. It isn't easy, I don't want to work all the time. I wanna have fun but I can't be a burden to him, Seungmin." you sniffled. It was as simple as that.

"You are not a burden-" he started, but you cut him off ready to go at it.

"I am! I am a burden to you too! I made you agree to this deal! I had a lot to win, you didn't. I am burdening you-" you swallowed back a sob. Your throat was clogging up again and some costumers where starting looking your way.

"Y/N. You are not a burden. Don't say that" he pleaded, starting to sound upset as well.

You paused, gathering your thoughts, trying to explain to him in a more effective way.

"You asked me before why I was in marketing... It's always needed. You always need to sell a product. If you always need to sell, I would always be needed, so I will always have a job and income" you quietly said.

You were simple really. You were a little greedy, a little chatty and sometimes over confident for no good reason.

"Y/N listen to me. You are not a burden. You knew how to make a deal. You gave me a solution. If you were cruel about it, you could have told everyone but you didn't. You care about your father and don't want to weight him down. You are working hard and at your own expense, you are struggling. You are a good daughter and a good friend. And for what matters, I am glad I met you. You encourage me to try new things, that I wouldn't dare to try. I don't want you to think bad of yourself." He instructed you. He made everything you did sound like a noble act, it couldn't be so far from it.

You moved the phone slightly away from your face and sniffled quietly. A new bunch of tears were wetting your face, sobs racked your body and at this point you were panting for breath. He had really moved you. And even though you knew he was saying some of those things because you were a little sad, you decided to enjoy the comfort and question yourself later. It made you feel a little better all the same.

"Thank you" you got out.

"Your welcome." He replied right away "Y/N can you take some more breaths for me please? Where are you now?" He asked. Was he concerned? He sounded frustrated enough and like he was pacing up and down on his room.

"Out. We came to the market with dad. He..left but I have a little more shopping to do." You sheepishly replied, leaving the walking away from the car incident out of the conversation. You already over shared.

"You should head home and talk with your dad. And call me after. Okay?" The pacing had seized and a loud thud was heard maybe as he landed on the bed.

"Okay.." you said slowly, now more in control of your breathing "You sent me pictures of your trip, okay?" It would be wonderful to see something as pretty as the snowy mountain.

"Okay" he mumbled more quietly now, as if he was being heard. Maybe Jeongin come in. "Talk to you later" he said and you half- heartly bid him goodbye.

The ride home was a long one. You thought over and over what to say to your dad. You were a bit cruel and you exaggerated a lot. An apology should be the first thing that leaves your mouth, you concluded.

As you neared the door, it flew open revealing your very worried dad. He looked trousled, his hair (or whatever was left of it anyway) was messy as if he run his hands relentlessly, his face was flushed as he was crying.

"Dad what-?" Was all you managed to get out, before you were cradled into his arms. He didn't talk, just squeezed you harder. A sound like a sniffle was heard and just as you made to question it, you were drugged on the inside.

"Dad?"you questioned, standing still. He was pacing back and forth now right in front of you in the middle of your living room. "Dad!" You exclaimed successfully catching his attention. "I am sorry"

He looked at you before engulfing you between his arms again. "No, baby. I am sorry" And with that sentence it was like he opened up the gates and tears welled up in your face.

"I didn't want to be a burden! You have so- so much going on h-here! And! And I was t-trying to do w-what I can on my own" you sobbed. Your nose was blocked and your voice wobbled as you tried to get the point across.

Just then hands cradled your face making you meet his eyes. "Baby..you are not a burden. It is my duty as your father to provide for you. You don't have to think about money all the time. I am here for you"

Hearing those words you broke down again in the safety of his arms, your troubles seemed so little and insignificant. For now you could be a little vulnerable and less tough.

Hours later, you were freshly bathed and in bed, ready to go to sleep when your phone rang. You reached over to your desk to grab it. Only to see a familiar name flashing across your screen.

"Hey Minnie" you whispered.

"Hey.. how are you? You.. didn't call so I... yeah" It was quiet on his end, he should be in his room by now, tired from the day's activities but he still made the effort to call you. You felt grateful you had met such good people.

"I am good. We talked about everything. Maybe I will cut back a few days to relax and study a bit more." You said as you cuddled into the bed, the emotional day finally catching up with you. You felt your eyes drop, but you willed them to open up again.

"That's good. You should rest more. You deserve it" he replied back, tone gentle. You weren't used to hearing him like that. Sweet and gentle.

"Seungmin.. thank you. It means a lot to me that you called"you said quietly. Hoping you weren't dumping much on him.

Quiet was all you heard through the line for a bit and then "I wanted too. I wanted to comfort you as you did to me the other day. I don't talk much about that time and it felt.. good...that the first thing you said to me about that period ,where I was not in a good state..it was that my smile was shinning"

You smiled. For some reason, hearing you made him feel lighter and happy made you lighter in return. It always did for some reason. All the times that he did things out of his comfort zone, all the times he followed along with your schemes, everytime he smiled at you and comforted you. You liked it..

You liked him.

You blinked twice at the sudden though. You liked him?

Your first thought about the guy was that he was way too stuck up and insufferable to get along with. Where did all this came from? Maybe from all the times he cared, when you twisted your leg, when he cared for you when you were drunk, when you silently sat at your home and watched dramas, when he came by the coffee shop to sit with you.

Ohh. You were officially fucked.

"Y/N?"

His voice pulled you out of your daydream. Face completely flushed at this point, lips bitten to shreds and eyes wide you only could stare at your phone.

"Y-Yeah! I-I was looking for my charger! This thing always runs out of battery" you explained, thankful for once for your ability to lie easily.

"Maybe if you didn't spent all of your day on your phone the battery would be okay" he teased, trying to get a reaction out of you. And he got it

"Hey!" you whined loudly to your speaker. But the only response was his giggles, that warmed your heart a little more. Suddenly you didn't want to got off the phone, you want to hear him speak idly about his day and poke fun at you. So you asked just that and as if he was thinking the same he eagerly spoke.. It was well into the morning when you hang up, your heart lighter than ever and a silly smile plastered onto your face, even in sleep.

Fifteen days passed before you could even blink.

The cheery homey atmosphere at home, the meetings with your friends and the calls with Seungmin filled your day to the brim.

Yesterday was the first shift of the year. It was lovely to see all your coworkers and friends together again. Your boss, being the generous woman that she was, had prepared gifts for everyone. You had been gifted a black ribbon that served as a hair tie. It was adorable. And a discreet reminder to tie your hair during work hours.

your hair during work hours.

Now you stood before the library, waiting at your usual spot for Seungmin, with your own gift in your hands. The cap was nothing much and you were sure it wasn't even original, but along with the pair of blue mittens and a scarf, you hoped they were enough.

You eyed the people coming.

No sign of Seungmin yet.

A quick glance at your phone told you, it was a minute past your agreed time so you would let it slide. You busied yourself by replying to some texts from Hong Joong and Ryunjin, when you felt a presence behind you. With a quick glance, you found yourself looking straight into a pair of chocolate eyes.

You yelped from the surprise and the closeness. "Kim Seungmin!" You barked, hands coming to clutch your heart. Furious giggles greeted you in return. You looked up to see him, the two weeks apart treated him good. He seemed refreshed and lively, who knows what kind of mischief he had caused along with Jeongin. You instinctively reached up and slapped away his hand, that was covering his smile. He didn't dodge your efforts, letting himself be hit.

"Hello" he said when his giggles seized.

"Hi"you got out.

He looked even cuter on person, was your first thought. You mentally slapped yourself. Come on Y/N! You have known him since October! You were together almost every day since mid October! Those were the rose tinted glasses people talked about. "How was your break?"

"As you don't know" he said, rolling his eyes. "We have been talking almost everyday" he quoted and starting walking towards the double doors of the library.

"Wait!" You yelped, clutching nervously his gift. You were beginning to sweat purposefully and you felt way beyond yourself. "I...um..I got you this!" You thrusted the cute bag in front of you, body all stiff.

He cocked his head to the side and walked over to where you stood. Gingerly he reached for the bag, opening it gently as you would take it away from him. Slowly a smile spread on his face, he looked up briefly to you and then down again on his gift. He took it out and wore it, with a proud smile on his face. "How do I look?" He asked, turning his head from right to left so you can see him from all the possible angles.

"Adorable" you teased, now at ease. Blue suited him, you thought and you told him so, your words bringing a pretty flush on his ears. He then cleared his throat and began searching in his backpack. After a beat, his hands come up clutching a small white bag. With a embarrassed smile, he extended the bag to you.

"I guess we had the same thought" he explained, looking over your head before fleetingly meeting your eyes. You felt a warm feeling spreading over your body as you gazed from him to your gift. You sent a big toothy smile his way before taking the bag and taking a look inside. Inside the bag sat a smaller bag made of tulle, which contained the most beautiful pair of earrings you had seen. A dangly thing it was. A single pink cherry blossom sat, where you supposed your lobe would be and from it three almost invisible chains ran down, petals sprinkled over the chains. You loved them.

"Thank you Seungmin. I love it" you said, tucking it safely back into the box.

He smiled at you and shaked his head. "It just reminded me of you. Shall we?"he asked, pointing at the building behind you.

"We shall" you answered.

The next few days were a dream.

You all came back, hang out, had multiple night outs and had been having a blast.

You hadn't noticed how Seungmin had warmed himself up in your daily routine. You met almost daily, his friends always lurked around the cafe, either because they were working in it (insert Jisung) either because they enjoyed the place. You had officially met Jeongin, who you always chatted with on your video chats with Seungmin, but never actually met. He was a sweetheart and always ready to mercilessly tease the grumpy boy.

But, unfortunately, you were not the only ones that reconnected. Soojin and Seungmin reconnected. And they reconnected really good.They had been actively hanging out. Mainly on the cafe, occasionally out of it. You saw their stories and how they discussed where they would be going.

And you were seething.

You wondered all those past months.. how did you manage to stand this? Not only you had to watch them on your shifts, you had Seungmin telling you all about his conversations with her. On the past you had no problem, now things were...a little different. But you hadn't had the heart to tell him to stop talking. You always wanted to hear him talk about things that made him excited, even this.

Today though was your day though.

You had a new series you wanted to watch. You had prepared masks and facials you had been dying to try out. As you searched through the fridge you realized. You had forgotten the beer. Usually your fridge was fully stocked and ready to serve, but a certain non drinker (as he had called himself) had been through 5 cans of beer the last time he was here leaving you dry. As you were contemplating running a quick errand to the market down the street, your phone rung. You checked the caller, seeing exactly what you wanted.

"Seungmin! Perfect timing! We ran out of beer. Can you get some on your way here?" You asked as you filled up the bowl with your favourite barbeque pop corn.

"Y/N...I hate to do this but do you think we can .. reschedule?"he said, tone slightly off.

You assumed the worst. Seungmin was nothing if not punctual.

"Are you okay? Do you feel alright? Did something happened with Minho or Jeongin?"you stressed, hands immediately flying up to trousle your tresses.

"No! No, I.. had made plans with Soojin and I kinda mixed the days"he said, carefully.

Oh.

Of course he would prefer to spend his night with Soojin than you. You bit your lip, unsure what to do. Of course you minded. Not only it was the second time he did that to you, it was for the same person as well. But you couldn't exactly tell him that, could you? "No..I.. don't mind. Have fun" you slowly said, voice void of emotion in order not to betray your true one.

For a moment you thought that he would question you about your tone and your robotic manner, but he eventually signed. "I will make it up to you. I swear" he said.

You hummed and muttered a simple goodbye. Energy suddenly drained and with your mood bungee jumping through the floor, you decided a wine or a beer would be definitely needed after all. So you grumpily grabbed your coat and your old sneakers making a bee line to the store. You entered, greeted the cashier and taking your familiar basket to browse the selves for anything that caught your fancy. You had a couple chocolate bars in it and you were standing in front of the fridge with the alcohol when the sound of your name being called grabbed your attention.

Turning your head, you met with a two coloured head and a bright smile.

Hong Joong.

You smiled and waved him over.

"I haven't seen you since before the holidays!" He exclaimed as a greeting, crushing you into a bear hug.

"Happy New Year Joongie!" You giggled, as you took a step back. His stare fell from your face to your basket to the fridge you were currently standing in front of.

"Not so happy right now, is it?" He asked knowingly. A grimace overtook your face, not being able to lie, you nodded.

"I admit it could have gone better" you signed and then asked, half turned to him, half scanning the alcohol. "Did you finish your project?"

"Yeah! We still have a check over left, but it was all smooth sailing" he laughed, clearly at ease. You envied him. Especially now, that the exams were looming over your head with the threat of expulsion. And there was the thing with Seungmin. You know the recently discovered and one sided feelings you had for him. Your thoughts must have manifested on your face because soon he was asking what's wrong.

"My friend, to tell the story it would take a long time and alcohol" you preached, eyeing the strawberry flavored soju bottle.

"I got time" he announced, making you turn at him. You raised your eyebrows and he nodded.

"In that case what kind of soju flavor do you prefer?" You required.

After a few hours later and some (a lot) of drinks later you were okay. Your second tutor became the first one to learn of your feelings for your third one. Ironic. But Hong Joong had a calmness that made you feel perfectly at ease telling him that. He had adviced you to go for it and he had admitted he thought you guys were already dating. You had snorted at this.

You wished.

But Hong Joong was wrong. He had been right about Seungmin curling himself up and begging for mercy as he did that the very next morning. But he hadn't seen coming the next rejections.

Three weeks in and Seungmin had cancelled on you 5 times. Soojin this, Soojin that. You had grown tired of hearing how great the girl was. Not to mention insecure. She was pretty, nice, kind. What hasn't she had? And do you have?

You tried to drown your feelings and feigned empathy towards the sudden cancellations and ruined plans. But you felt heavier with every ruined outing or night in. Those 5 times were enough for your eyes to shine maliciously green. You were beyond yourself jealous and you didn't know what to do and how to act before Seungmin anymore. Maybe a little more distance would do you good, maybe you could salvage a little of your heart. Yeah, a little distance is good.

And apparently you must wear your heart on your sleeves because Seungmin caught right on. He apologized about the plans alright, but now every time you made plans you would find an excuse to avoid him. You had to go shopping with Yuqi or you had agreed to meet with Hong Joong and you couldn't cancel last minute. You even tried to cut down on your study time and that's when he knew that something was definitely wrong, after all exams were a mere 3 weeks away and you needed that time.

Ηe stepped up then.

That's why today you waiting for him in your house, practically vibrating with nervous energy. He seemed on guard when he called you. Almost awkward. But then he probably mimicked your own behavior. Your lips were bitten to shreds and your nails bloody by the time the doorbell rung. You gulped down as much air as you could and you opened the door.

And there he stood.

The cap you had gifted him on his head, black puffer jacket engulfing him and with an adorable flush on his cheeks, probably from the cold. You took a step back, inviting him in silently. He made his way into your home, now the surroundings familiar to him and plopped down to your couch. He cocked his head to the empty side of the couch, silently asking you to seat.

You made your way to him and before you could even sit on the couch, he started the interogation.

"What is going on?" He asked, always his straightforward and level headed self.

Truth or lie, that is the question. But right now lying seemed like your only ally. "What do you mean?" You asked carefully.

"I mean you are avoiding me. You are cancelling our plans. You even wanted to cancel the lessons!" His voice was steady, raising slightly at the end, making you feel even worse for a moment. And then you remembered the scene of them sitting together at the cafe, the phone call to cancel your plans and the words flew out of your mouth without your consent.

"Like you didn't do the same" you returned, a scoff leaving you.

His eyes widen at the mockery that was present in your voice, but they quickly changed, they seemed like steel now. "I cancelled on you once" he reasoned, hands coming together to grip each other tightly. "Only once"

"No, you cancelled after we already made plans once. You had been pushing around the dates that we planned and the hangouts 5 times at least! I guess that happens when you get a girlfriend" you commented, lips pulled back in a snarl, your face an menacing grimace now.

"Ohh so you can hang out with Hong Joong, but I can't hangout with Soojin" he chided, tone ice cold.

"Don't compare the two. It's totally different" you reasoned, frustration causing your voice to raise. You turned to face him fully on the couch now, he seemed as agitated as you felt. "Besides I hanged out with Hong Joong the times that you left me stranded" you spat.

He flinched at that. Head hanging low for a beat and then raising again, ready for a duel. "I like Soojin that's why I am hanging out with her. You were supposed to be happy for me. That was the deal"

It was your time to flinch at that. That was a low blow, even though he didn't know. "So why don't you go now to her?" You bitterly asked, looking away.

He sat silent for a moment. Staring at his hands. When his voice shattered the silence.

"I will confess tomorrow. That's what I wanted to tell you" he breathed, twisting his hands nervously at the thought, letting his guard down for a second.

Your heart plummeted in response to those words. It felt like an invisible hand went through your chest, grabbing your poor heart with its only purpose to rip her right out.

Your vision that stayed nailed to the faded corner of your coffee table started blurring little by little, like you were looking at the world through mist eyed lenses. You closed your eyes not wanting to let the tears escape and betray the deviation you were felling inside right at this moment.

"I guess the deal is over.. But I..I will see you around Y/N." He smiled an odd uncomfortable smile that showed the confusion he was feeling, and even though not a word come out of your mouth, he got up, gathered his things, walked to the front door and left.

Upon hearing the sound of the door closing the tears that you tried so hard to keep, were now slowly dripping down your face. Your mouth was trembling, lifting and dropping, as if it couldn't decide what expression to keep to express your sorrow better. Even breathing was more difficult now, due to the blockage in your nose. But all that wasn't what was important right now.

You were losing him.You had lost him before having a chance to tell him how you feel.

Suddenly you weren't on the sofa anymore, you were up and running. Running after him. You flew out of the door and raced towards the stairs, you didn't have time to wait for the elevator to arrive, instead you headed to the stairs. When you reached the entrance your breath was unstable and the place under your ribs hurting from the sudden work out but you paid them mo mind. You run outside, turning your head left and right trying to locate his disappearing figure. There! There he was! By the end of the street, a lone figure, coat clad and on top of his head sat a very familiar cap. Your gift to him specifically.

"SEUNGMIN!" You yelled with all your might. He heard your panicked call and turned towards you. But before he could take a step to your direction, you were already running. Running before time caught up with you.

You reached him, panting from the rally. He looked beautiful. In the middle of the street, lights hitting him just right to appear ethereal, his hoodie and black thick coat made him appear warm in the cold winter night, almost like a beacon, calling you closer. His capped head cocked slightly to his right made him more adorable as he waited for you to breath normally and tell him why you chased after him.

"I like you" you blurted out incapable of controlling your feelings anymore. "I like the way you always scold me when I do the wrong thing so I can try harder, l like when even though you pretend to be cold you are always so considerate, I like how you are always so adamant to be right and react so adorable when things don't go your way, I like how passionate you are. I like how we can be silent and watch stupid shows together. I like how you sent me every little thing you thing it's cute so you can share it with me. I like how easy are to get with, contrary to first opinions. I like how I am with you. I like who I am because of you. I like you Kim Seungmin" Tears were still filling your vision, you could now see your breath in front of you in the darkness of the night but you didn't care. You needed to tell him, you had told him and right then you felt so light like you could float away.

One look in his wide eyes though, told you that maybe you should fly away, flew the scene and most devastating of all something told you that maybe you couldn't have your chance after all.

"Y-Y/N I..I-" he tried getting out and your whole world tumbled down. "I don't know- I am not sure if I feel the same-" he could have stabbed your heart and it would hurt less than what you were feeling right now.

He doesn't know.

A new set of tears came to your eyes, but this time you were incapable of holding them in. A sob was clawing it's way out of your throat, only escaping a mere second before you slapped your hand over your mouth in order to keep it in.

"Y/N!" He exclaimed, taking a step towards you, hand raised as if to wipe your tears away, but your shaken step back stopped him. You shook your head as you took another step back. He didn't want you. Even though you told him everything.. he didn't want you. You turned around and blindly runned.

"Y/N!!Y/N wait!" He shouted after you.

Nothing stopped you though.

He didn't stop you.

An excruciating pain clawed at your chest making you blind to anything except your inner turmoil. You reached your apartment door in a pained haze, bursted in and let your sobs take over. Painful sob after painful sob racked you, making you unable to comprehend anything around you. You didn't know how much time you spent there against your front door, crying your heart out. All you knew was that you were light headed, your ears were ringing and your grip over the world was slipping.

It was exactly as you feared.

You had told him and you weren't enough to keep him.

You weren't everything he wanted.

You weren't good enough to love.

You would never be good enough.

You picked yourself up from the floor, took the remaining steps towards the sofa and slumped over it. You hadn't enough strength to fight the oblivion from taking over. The last image your mind concurred was of Seungmin-wide eyed in reaction to your confession and tears slipped down your eyes again as you finally slipped into the oblivion.

After that night you had made it your mission to avoid him at all costs.

Your shame and pettiness didn't allow anything less than that.

You had blocked both his number and his instagram, which you had crafted slowly together.

Seungmin had made several attempts to contact you ever since that night. He had come by your workplace as he had deemed the phone useless by now but you had taken a couple days off work. Not wanting to worry your father with an unexpected surprise and not wanting to be alone in your apartment, you had crashed at Yuqi's for a few days, hoping your dramatic ass wasn't too much for her. Her roommate Soyeon rolled her eyes at you for crying over a boy but joined your pity party anyways, not able to resist pizza.

With exams drawing near, you unfortunately had to study. Looking at your notebooks and books filled with Seungmin's neat handwriting you felt like they mocked you. But you had to get through this, for this stupid scholarship you made the deal, for this you broke your heart.

Eventually you had to get back to work. Your days went smoothly, you ticked in, greeted your regulars, small talked with Jisung and now you were on the front on cashier's duty. You heard the door opening and you opened your mouth automatically to greet the customer, but the sight in front of you left your mouth dry. Seungmin bursted through the door, panting as he made a bee line straight to you. He came with such strength that he collided against the counter. He looked wild, hair a mess and clothes hastily put on.

"Y/N! Where- Nevermind! I need to talk to you." He got out, hands inching over the counter to reach you.

But you took a step back and with a tone as cold as you could muster you stated "I don't have anything to talk about with you" You could do this. You spent enough days crying over him. You wouldn't cry anymore.

"Please! I have to tel-"

"Seungmin." You cut him off, staring him dead in the eye. His desperate appearance and big eyes made you crumble a little inside. "I said everything I had to say. You gave me your answer. We have nothing to talk about"

"No you don't understand. I-" he rushed his words in order to get something across, but to his bad luck and to your good one, a customer cut your conversation short.

"Excuse me? Can I order?" A unfamiliar face inquired.

"Yes, of course." You called over Seungmin's shoulder before turning to him "If you excuse me, I have work to do" you ushered him gently to the side and tried to pay him no mind.

Seungmin had made several other attempts to contact you.

You still avoided him as much as you could, but it was a bit difficult when he stood there looking at you. You tried to not talk to him while he tried to corner you. You had instructed Ryunjin to not let him near you. You would break if you did. Even now the sad looks were getting to you.

This thing was going on for a week and a half. You hadn't spoken to each other seven days now if you included the small talk by the cashier the other day. You weren't ready to hear him, you weren't ready for him to tell you that he was together and happy with Soojin while you were over here, green with envy and with a large challenge in front of you.

Exams were starting.

You weren't even there, neither mentally nor emotionally. But you had to fight it. Your scholarship depended on it.

Fake it till you make it.

So fake it tou did. You forced yourself to work on your studies. In the mist of it all, little notes had been finding their way into your things.

Don't forget the formula!

Keep on working hard!

Hope we can talk..

You had a pretty good idea on who was the writer.

And it pained you greatly. Why was he going through all this trouble. You had gotten his message and while he was being nice trying to make sure you were alright, you would rather he wouldn't. He was making this too hard on you.

He had Soojin now. All was good, right?

The truth was you hadn't seen him with Soojin,not once. The girl's visits were few now, that she had started on her finals (earlier as all the art students did), but when she appeared she had gifted you a knowing smile. A secret only she knew apparently, because you had no idea why she was looking at you like that. You didn't pointed that out, in fact you hadn't looked at her that much.

And exams rolled in.

The first three subjects were a success.. Of course you couldn't escape the dread that filled you everytime you sat behind the desk, but you had managed alright. It was manageable till now, but the big threats (maths and physics, you couldn't even utter their names!) had yet to come.

You had picked up less hours at the cafe in order to prepare yourself. You were a tutor down yet again, albeit this time a little more painful.

And finally the d-day arrived. You raised your head, shoulders pulled back.

Pens? Check.

Pencils? Check.

Water? Check.

Student ID? Check.

Note from Seungmin?... Check

The little yellow note was safely tucked in your pocket last minut,e because you couldn't bear to part with it. He had sticked to your front door last night, you showed it when you came over from work and it had moved you to tears. Gosh, you were such a crybaby now!

You knew that your conversation was long overdue. Three weeks have already passed and even though you wanted to, you couldn't bring yourself to.

But that was a problem that future Y/N had to deal with.

Now you needed your head in the game.

You had maths to do, you thought as you marched to your possible doom.

You had passed!

The endless hours, the blood, the sweat and the tears you had spilled were all worth it. Admittedly you had made it barely, but you had made it! You had made an exceptional progress on physics too, acquiring a better grade than you originally thought you would.

You were beyond happy and your immediately thought was of your beloved tutor. You should contact him, firstly to thank him and secondly for a conversation you had apparently left in the middle, what was left to say was beyond you.

You were playing with your phone currently, the contract named Puppy open and ready to be called. You bit your lips, your finger hovering above the button when a voice stopped you on your track.

Soojin.

"Hello Y/N" she pleasantly greeted, an ever lasting smile on her face.

"Soojin, hi. The usual?" You asked, not in the mood for pleasantries. You had already turned your back to the girl to make her coffee.

"To go, please" she called sweetly to you, getting a sharp nod in response. "How is Seungmin?" she asked, voice still dripping honey. You froze. While you didn't know Soojin that well, you didn't think she was the type to gloat in your face about her winning Seungmin's heart. You appeared to be wrong again.

"How should I know? Shouldn't I be asking you that?" You returned coldly, trying to hold yourself back. You were at work, you wouldn't be caught fighting like a 6-year-old for a doll you both wanted. Not that Seungmin was a price to be had. He was just as pretty as a doll thought.

"Ahh, you still didn't talk with him" she signed. You turned to place her drink of choice on the counter, ready for her to be gone. "Why are you avoiding him?" She said, head cocked to the right, making her seem all too innocent for your liking.

You almost scoffed "I don't think this is any of your business" you answered while you took her card to ring up her order.

For the first time her face turned sour and a determinated pout appeared on her face "Well I am making it my own goddamn business. We talked with Seungmin. We made everything clear. He likes you and I like Eric" she answered, sassiness dripping from her tongue this time.

What?

"What?" You voiced out loud, shock obvious on your face. Seungmin did what?

"Yeah, you know tall, blonde and handsome?" She quoted, raising her hand a ridiculous amount above her head to indicate Eric's height.

"I know how Eric is! I told him what drink you like for god's shake!" You exclaimed, teeth grinding together.

She looked like the cat who got the milk as she thanked you for that. You blinked.

"I don't understand. You and Seungmin went on so many dates" you mumbled.

She looked quite guilty this time "I already apologized to Seungmin about that. I was trying to...make Eric jealous" she admitted, her eyes focused, all of a sudden, on the coffee in her grasp.

"The photography exhibition?" You asked, dazed.

"Eric was managing a tent there" she whispered, head low.

"The movies?" You insisted.

"A girl from Computer Science had invited him! Gosh, how much I don't like her! She always made heart eyes at him!" She scoffed, sounding much like you when you cursed her in your head.

You felt your jaw slagging, mouth open whole you stared at her. Really? Seungmin liked you?

She glanced at you, seeing how you were taking it all in. "He told me he thought that he liked me. When I asked him what did he meant by 'he thought', he explained the deal to me. He seemed so happy when he talked about you, content." She smiled at you, that knowing smile she had been sending lately. "When I asked him if he perhaps liked you, he blinked and nodded. He even apologized!" She giggled and you joined too. Socially awkward and adorable as always. "He cares about you. And I think you should talk to him, Y/N" she finished.

You nodded, still dazed from all the information. She saluted you silently and walked out the door.

What Soojin said stayed with you. You weren't sure if she was being truthful or not, but you had already decided to contact him, you reasoned with yourself. At least that's what you told yourself as you send the message at 10 p.m.

You had fully expected to be left on read for days maybe even to beg him him for a small talk, so the immediate response, needless to say, surprised you. The answer left you at a total loss.

You immediately tensed up. You hadn't expected him to rush here that late. But better now than never, you guessed.

Not even twenty minutes later, there was knocking on your front door. You took a deep breath and opened your door.

And there he stood. He was panting, as if he sprinted here, his face was flushed and adorably nervous. His eyes ranked over you, taking you in the way you were doing to him right now.

You watched him for a moment too long, the weeks of not seeing him were catching up with you. He looked tired as well, he had bags under his eyes and his face was sucked in. Worry fleetingly took over you as you took a step in his direction, but the way his eyes were, so intensely, focused on you, not shying away, reminded you of your situation. Letting out a breath you took a step back, allowing him to enter your home. His eyes fell from your face momentarily as he took the step in, gently closing your door behind him.

The two of you stood there, tense and not knowing where to begin. You had said everything that you had to say, so you stood there utterly defeated. Discarded in favor of Soojin by the very boy that stood in your living room. By the very first boy that was begging to win your heart. Or do you thought. If what Soojin had said to you was true...then why reject you? Tears threatened to make an appearance (as they often did those days) but you pushed them back and sucked your cheek. "How have you been? Did you do good on your exams?" You asked, a small smile on your lips as you gestured at your couch.

He returned the awkward smile you sent him, taking a seat across you. "I am doing.. alright, I guess. I have done well in my exams. You?" He asked, pointing at you.

A bigger smile overtook your face. "We did it!" You exclaimed as you wanted to do since the morning that you learned the news. "I mean, it was a little above average but... I passed nonetheless" you cheered.

He made a grimace "A little above average?" He asked, scrunching his nose.

"What? Will you say you teached me better than that?" You inquired, lounging better in your spot, smiling all the way up to your ears.

"Will you throw me out if I say that?" He asked, head cocking to the side. His tone was a mix of sassiness and uncertainty.

You deserved that, you guessed. "No, I will not" you mumbled, not able to look into his eyes.

"Then, yes. I taught you better than that" he quoted, lightly giggling to easy up the tension. It brought a smile to your face, but you quickly sobered up.

"Why are you here, Seungmin?" You asked, plain and simple, tired.

The boy took a breath, shoulders squaring as if to ready himself "I am sorry"

A slap.

Right on your face. You swallowed your words and returned nothing, wanting to hear what he had come here to say. "I was an idiot. A moron. When you told me you..liked me, I hadn't thought about it. I mean..we ar-" he looked at the floor briefly as if willing himself to remember pointers he wrote, but he picked up when he left off shortly "We are close. We talk every day, we joke around, watch movies together. I had gotten used to you, you were an ally, a friend. I hadn't thought about you in..that light.." you turned your face away, facing the wall, a few stray tears escaping your eyes. He took notice of your state, quickly scooting over, closer to you, one hand on your arm, the other gripping feather light the place your neck and jaw connected. You raised your hands, a motion that meant to shoo him away, but he didn't budge. He stood there looking over you, worried and painfully tender.

"That was what I thought I felt. But Y/N, I don't face time my friends everyday for hours, I don't text them to remind them to study or eat, I don't have reminders to tell me to text them, I.. don't catch myself thinking they are pretty or wishing they were closer when we are watching movies..I don't dance with them and think they are beautiful and wish I could kiss them." he continued, voice quieter as he went on, the last part almost inaudible. If you weren't in front of him, almost locked in his arms, you wouldn't be able to hear him.

But you could.

And your heart was pumping so hard that you could hear it in your ears, your breath was short. You were hanging from his every word. What? What was he saying?

"I didn't ran like a madman to find a pair of earrings for them. The exact copy of the earrings they were looking at the festival..I failed at that one, but I think cherry blossoms suit you better anyway" he breathed, a low laugh escaping him. How he could remember that was beyond you. Had he always paid that much attention to you?

"I don't go mad when I don't talk to them for a few days" he whined, clearly embarrassed if the flush on his face and ears said something. "I don't beat myself up for hesitating to return their feelings" he finished.

That was a confession? "What then?What am I, Seungmin? What am I to you?" You challenged, looking him straight at the eyes. Yours reflected resolution and a fiery temper, his.. reflected guilt and affection, that much you could read, but also pain and hopefulness.

He took a shaky breath and dived in, sealing his lips over your own. You stood frozen for a moment, Seungmin overtaking all of your senses. All you could smell was his manly and wonderful cologne, all you could taste was the mint on his lips and an essence, so clearly him you couldn't explain otherwise. All you could feel were his soft hands clasping you affectionately, his plush lips on your, his eyelashes tickling you gently. All you saw, before closing your eyes, was fluffy hair and his beautiful face coming closer. You got lost in the moment, reciprocating the kiss before your mind could talk you out of it. You reached up, waving your hands into his soft hair, bringing him closer. Your mouth opened, inviting him in and pressed yourself complete onto him, wanting to fell him touch every inch of you. You kissed him fiercely, with a passion, he gladly returned. You felt him draping himself around you, holding you desperately and with a passion you hadn't expected to show to your person.

All you now was that you were experiencing pure bliss. You didn't want it to end.

You didn't know how much time you were kissing, tasting each other eagerly, having gotten lost at the feelings but eventually you had to part to get some air inside of you. You didn't exactly separate, he retreated just enough so he can rest his forehead against yours. You could feel his breath in your mouth, that was also covered in the taste of him. You opened your eyes to look at him, seeing him already gazing adoring at you. And then he spoke.

'I like you" he stated confidently. Face flushed, lips even more kissable than before and eyes alit. "You never were just a friend in my mind. I just...I never have been in a serious relationship..I didn't know what I was supposed to be looking for. But when they asked me what I wanted and I started describing, I realized I was describing you, Y/N" he whispered, nusling closer to your face. The proximity was driving you crazy and his words was making it worse. It was all too much to take in at once.

"Soojin" you mumbled, the close distance between your faces allowing him to hear you. "What about her? You said you like her" you mewled, pained. The same guilty feeling resurfaced on his face again and his hands tightened around you.

"I am so so sorry" he nearly sniffled. As soon as you heard the little sniffle, alarms went off inside your head and you immediately drew closer, hiding your face on the crook of his neck, arms tenderly patting him for comfort. You felt him rest his head on top of yours and nussle his face in your hair. "I thought I did. I hadn't thought about the chance that you.. I didn't know what I was feeling and God-" he took a big breath and started again "I thought I liked her, but when you confessed, don't get me wrong I was super surprised but I couldn't get you out of my mind, so I told her. And it ended up being alright because she-"

"Likes Eric. I know" you completed.

"How?" He asked.

You crewed your neck back in order to see him better and gave him a small smile. "She came over at work. She spilled everything. And for the matter, I think they look cute together."

"Hey! Are you calling me ugly?!" He protested lightly, hands tickling you and making you let out loud giggles.

"Stop!" You shrieked, burrowing yourself deeper in his arms. He did and hugged you tighter in return. "I think you look cuter with me" you cheekily murmured squished against his neck.

He laughed briefly and slowly he unwinded himself from around you. You immediately missed his warmth.

"I am so sorry for all of this" he got out, guiltily. "I have made a mistake. A stupid one. And ..and if you take me back I promise not to make the same ones again. I promise to listen to you and try to express myself more...I.."he trailed off, unsure what else to promise you. You quietly giggled to yourself.

You liked him too much to hold it over him. You liked him too much for you own good.

So you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck again. He immediately cradled you near, not missing the chance to hold you.

"You promise to never make the same mistake again? And talk to me instead of mumbling nonsense?" You inquired, your hands reaching up to cradle his face gently. He closed his eyes for a moment in tot bliss, before snapping them open and nodding.

"I promise" he stated.

"And you must promise to do what I ask of you" you pouted, dragging the words out, now in a playful mood.

But he eagerly nodded his head, taking your every request without complains. "I promise"

"Even when I ask you to go photoshooting with me?" You wondered, eyes scanning him. But he easily let out a giggle, nodded before ducking to kiss your nose, setting off butterflies in your stomach. You pressed your lips together in order to seal a smile before continuing.

"Even when I ask you to watch boring dramas with me?" You asked, eyebrows raising, remembering his distain in your pickings.

"Mmhhmm"he let out easily, as his eyes swept over you with literal stars sprawled over them.

"Even when the Wyverns are on and you wanna see them?" You mischievously asked, beaming up at him. He chuckled, drawing you closer than ever, not an inch separating your bodies.

"Even then" he agreed, content with you in his arms.

"You got yourself a deal then" you said, cheekily, peaking up at him. He opened his eyes at the sound of that, meeting your gaze, full of intent and tenderness. Now affection and playfulness twirled in his own eyes, so much in contrast with the cold boy that you had met all those months ago.

"Deal" he said, reaching down to seal this deal with a press of our lips.

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bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove · 1 year

Text

Snow Days- B.Barnes

Summary: The Barnes twins have a snow day and spend it with their parents.

Pairings: Dad!Bucky x Mom!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Bucky's PTSD, mentions of food, Dad!Bucky, use of Y/N, female reader (let me know if I missed any)

Author's Note: Fic 4 of December! I will very likely be double posting when I can until my semester is over. Please be patient with me and my uploading schedule! My asks are open if you have any questions, suggestions, or feedback!

My full Masterlist

Feedback is welcomed and encouraged

Enjoy reading!

gif not mine

As every typical Tuesday morning started, the Barnes family were all bustling about before the clock even hit 5 in the morning, getting ready for their days. The twins had just woken up, it was one of their last days of school before holiday break., and made their way to the kitchen where their parents were getting breakfast ready for the four of them. The kids immediately took notice of the freshly fallen snow that coated their backyard, both of them racing to the living room to look out of the window to the street to see it had yet to be plowed.

“Momma! Do we have a snow day?” Sarah asked, her voice filled with excitement at the thought of not having to go to school until the new year.

“I don’t know yet baby, the school hasn’t called. We’ll know in a couple hours,” Her mother replied. The woman had just finished making breakfast, making each of the twins a plate and placing them at the table. “Time to eat babes, come sit at the table.”

Stevie and Sarah rushed to the table and started to eat their breakfast, chatting to each other about what they were doing in their classes.

Y/N and Bucky joined them a few minutes after, neither of them big breakfast people, usually settling for coffee and occasionally some toast just like today. The four of them made quiet and sleepy conversation until the twins were done eating. The two of them put their dishes in the dishwasher, retreating to the living room after to watch cartoons for a little while. The school had called and announced the next two days the school would be closed. Of course the kids celebrated the fact they didn’t have to go to school for the rest of the remaining year.

“I’m gonna go shovel the walkway and driveway, can you get a fire started while I’m out?” Bucky asked his wife.

“Course I can. Hey Stevie, Sarah? You wanna help daddy shovel?” Both of the kids shouted yes from the living room, both running to their rooms to get their snow boots then racing back to the foyer where their jackets were.

“Relax you two, I have to get myself ready before we go out. You go out and play in the snow for a few, I’ll be right out,” Bucky instructed the twins, they had run off once he said ‘go out and play’. “They are very eager to go outside,” He chuckled, turning to his wife who was biting back a laugh.

“You better hurry before they beat the super soldier at the shoveling the driveway,” She teased him.

“Very funny, baby.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead as he passed her on his way to their bedroom. He changed his flannel pajama pants to a pair of jeans and he threw on a red henley to cover his bare chest. Moments later he joined the twins outside, who were making a snowman. “We’ll get back to the snowman later, let’s get the shoveling done first.”

As the three were outside shoveling, Y/N was inside, fire started, clean clothes for the kids and Bucky warming up in the dryer. As she waited for Bucky and the kids to come back inside, she sat at the bay window with a book, but instead of reading she watched her family outside. After they had finished shoveling, they went back to making the snowman. She listened as Sarah laughed when Bucky picked her up and spun around with her in his arms. She listened as Stevie laughed when Bucky had started play-fighting with him in the snow, Bucky letting his little boy win of course.

If the Y/N from 10 years ago saw her today, she would be in shock. She had never thought that she would get married, let alone have children. She never even expected to meet the man that she had married, he was a fugitive, an ex-assassin, a veteran struggling with PTSD. The two had rough patches, Bucky nearly dying on her a handful of times but she wouldn’t change it for the world. She had everything she ever dreamed of right in the palm of her hand.

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im-overstimulated-and-im-sad · 3 months

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With Friends Like These - thoughts

This is late in the rewatch week, but I watched these today and when I watched this one I was on my computer already and I got the rambles- have some of my unabridged, unhinged thoughts on this episode:

This is going to sound real dumb, but I forgot before doing the rewatch how call-oriented the first season was… like in the fourth season obviously they still go on calls, but they start the episode like this is what we’re doing in our off hours!

Oh the awkwardness of running into someone you knew a long time ago;

Although the one way to make this worse; when someone recognizes you and you either A) think they look vaguely familiar but it’s clear they remember you much more than you remember them, or B) when you see someone and you know exactly where you know them from… but can’t think of their fucking name (seriously is there a graceful way to say, I remember you, but also, I can’t think of your name?)

If you didn’t have a fear of big trucks passing you on the road — like I always feel like I am going the speed limit the car is old but we are TRYING and they still pass me-

Those big trucks are so scary-

Oh Carlos is so sweet and so good at his job… and has such a comforting voice… (is this all we see of Carlos in this episode? I don’t actually remember. We’ll find out).

Coming back after I finished this episode- this WAS the only scene we got for Carlos!

Not near enough of Carlos in this episode-

Am I a terrible person if I say I wish this was Tommy?

Also it’s weird in this first season where Nancy (and Tim) are there and just never… talk.

Genuinely curious — does everyone just… know their blood type?

Like fictional characters always know this and I would have literally no idea; is this something real people know about themselves??

“Don’t you have any friends, Probie?” Oh Marjan-

Ngl, TK looks really good in his track pants…

Although that man is physically incapable of having a backpack and not looking like he’s in first grade.

Oh Paul would be so much fun at a card game.

Like someone brings him and is like “oh he’s not playing, he’s just waiting for a ride” and Paul is watching everybody and just texting the person he’s sitting next to, “okay so his tell is this, and when this guy is bluffing he—”

Judd does NOT want Owen joining in these reindeer games.

Judd, if Tommy were here, she’d say, “trust those instincts, Juddy”.

Like I don’t want to not like Michelle, but going back and watching these, it’s like, I wish Tommy were here-

Like I’m glad Carlos has someone to talk to but still-

Grace looks AMAZING-

And she also is surprised Owen is here to play reindeer games-

Because Judd didn’t mention Billy Tyson is coming over, and Billy sucks.

(Okay maybe he doesn’t say that but seriously. Billy sucks so much. I was nervously hovering during season four, waiting for Billy Tyson to pop out from behind some furniture and be his awful awful self).

Owen, baby, sshh, stop trying to counsel men who don’t love their hair as much as you.

Also I know the point is for Owen and Billy Tyson to snipe at each other — and they’re truly doing a great job — but also, who are these other people?

This always bothers me in scenes like this, like introduce them! Judd! Please tell me about your homies!

The captions say this woman’s name is Yvette; who is she? Is she someone’s mom? (Cause that would actually be adorable, if she was a mom of one of the fallen 126 and Judd invited her).

But also — am I a terrible person for assuming she could ONLY be someone’s mom?

But then who is she?

(None of this matters. But the part I remember from this episode is this part; and you can probably tell, I absolutely cannot stand Billy Tyson).

And nothing against the actor — he was in a handful of Gilmore Girls episodes.

Sans mustache.

Back to what’s actually happening; Judd is looking TENSE during the back and forth.

I saw this mentioned in a post that Marjan literally never touches the smoothie Owen made her and now that I’ve seen it there, I cannot unsee it here.

Marjan would definitely harp on it if she missed one point until it was changed and I love that about her-

(Like this woman is goals. I wish I could stand up for myself in any capacity like this).

Also I’m not proud of how much it made me giggle when Owen said “they have to let him take it orally”.

Yes, I know he meant the test.

Okay, small tangent (such a lie. This post is one unhinged tangent. If you’re still with me, having a nutritional albeit disgusting smoothie on me).

How does firefightering school work anyway?

It definitely seems like it varies state by state — like cause is Mateo only twenty years old here? (Going off of in season four Mateo burned down the school when he was thirteen and Owen says it was ten years ago)

Because also, if Mateo hasn’t graduated the academy, how is he allowed to be there?

Like wouldn’t it go fire cadet, then probie, then firefighter?

And in New York; their fire academy somehow takes two years, and then you’re a probie, then they can’t hire you until you’re 21 — and I still haven’t figured out if you can be a probie before they officially hire you?!

Can anyone explain this?

Anyways- this shows the dynamic of Judd is the oldest brother, than Marjan, than Paul, then, TK, then Mateo would be the youngest brother…

Like no one is going to say no to big sister Marjan!

“Because with that drawl, you read the slowest”. Well, she’s not wrong…

The end of TK with the book is so cute and I don’t know why, but it is.

Billy Tyson is there… because Owen invited him.

Like everyone can see this won’t end well, showing Billy everything — like Owen is GLEEFUL.

STOP IT OWEN. THIS GUY IS BAD NEWS.

YOU DON’T WANT TO GET MIXED UP WITH THE LIKES OF HIM.

OR HIS STUPID MUSTACHE.

Oh those little girls are so cute.

This is a stupid question — are hackles a real thing?

Like what part of the dog are they? (alternative title; I’m sorry I am an idiot lol).

“He loves them. And Cesar Millan”. Other things I didn’t know, that Dog Whisperer is in fact a thing —that reference does make sense here

The little girl telling TK, “you know you have really big muscles?” And Marjan answering, “trust me, he knows” Bahahaa

Oh the impalement part is icky — but that is a very good dog.

“Sir, you should look away for this”. I appreciate that warning.

Owen practicing golfing so he can out-golf Billy later — Owen why is this a person you want to hang out with?

Like I may have bagged on Michelle before, but Owen, god listen to this woman!

“Good god, how many of these are there?” Oh Judd…

Love when Mateo gives the answer to Paul he couldn’t come up with later; attaboy probie!

I simultaneously love all the S1 workout scenes and am mad that we don’t get any later on —

Like give us a Tarlos works out together scene, ya cowards!

I have to think about that scene for a moment…

Oh the possibilities…

I’m back —

The scene where they wake Mateo up to quiz him is kind of adorable—

And I love Mateo’s studying by listening montage.

I do not know enough about golf to know who is out-golfing who.

Oh, Owen’s about to do something so dumb.

Mateo, you need a hug so bad—

Marjan definitely didn’t know what is riding on this for Mateo.

Did Owen know this??

I suspect he might because he asked Marjan to help but I wonder-

“Soon you’re gonna die anyway. Everybody will”. I like this speech a lot—

And Marjan, I feel you freely admitting you don’t know about the Star Wars references.

“I just didn’t know it’d be chunky”. Not something you often think about ashes, I gotta admit.

Also I sound like a broken record, but three calls an episode!

Did any season four episode even have two?

(They all did and this is more common than I think is probably the right answer lol).

We get to see Grace!

Like there is truly nothing you can put in front of this woman that she can’t handle.

*Sigh* I knew this was coming, and it still irks me (well more than irks lol)

Like I love Owen — he is deeply flawed buy deeply caring character who doesn’t deserve the hate he gets, and I thought this before season four which was a much better season for Owen than season three—

Had to say all of this before I got this out —

Because DAVY CROCKETT DIED FOR OUR SINS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OWEN!

YOU IMBECILE!

WHY OH WHY, OF ALL THINGS HOLY, WOULD YOU TELL THIS MAN ABOUT THE DAMN CANCER!!!!

Oh I should stop shouting? I can do that—

But seriously, why Owen!

You don’t tell TK, your child, the entire reason you have for being in Texas, that you have cancer. No, you let him figure it out.

But a virtual stranger — who has reason to dislike you — you just tell him that rather than say, “No, I don’t like cigars?”

Other things Owen could have said rather than “I have cancer”

“Well, maybe the other patrons of this swanky club would rather you not, Billy, and they pay a lot of money to come here to not inhale that shit”.

“Well Billy, if you’ve beat cancer, shouldn’t you have your whole life ahead of you?”

“Well Billy, I was watching that 70s show and someone on there referred to cigars as like “smoking a dirty sock only easier” and doggone, I agree”.

All of this would have been preferable to ‘I have cancer’. Owen.

You stupid, stupid man.

I do not love seeing grownups be mean to Mateo; this is like Captain Grumpy at the end of season two.

But Mateo lights up when he gets out and they’re all there waiting for him.

“Some of us will be drinking mineral water either way”. This is so weirdly specific and something I did not know was a thing until I started watching this show, and I also don’t drink anything hard.

Like the bar scene made me curious; if they specifically order mineral water, will places just have that on hand??

I do love that Mateo telling his sucky old captain that they’d all be dead soon, to the confusion of everyone else.

He got a 92!

Aww Owen tells Mateo he’s proud of him <3

TK knows something’s up and is worried about his dad :’(

Gonna say it one more time—

Oh, Owen.

You idiot.

Also this is why I can’t stand Billy Tyson, he is literally just there to be a mustache twirling villain — like this man could have literally tied Owen to train tracks and it would have felt the same as this.

He literally says this ain’t personal and follows it up with “but I’m taking your job and either firing or hazing/harassing every single person on your team until they quit”.

I do love that Owen is prepared to fight for his team… but

Oh I just hate Billy Tyson so, so much.

Also wow is this long and unhinged- thank you for reading my many incoherent thoughts!

Now I am up to tell my cat yes, she already had wet food today that's why her dish is empty.

#911 lone star #911 lone star rewatch 2024 #with friends like these #owen strand #judd ryder #billy tyson #who sucks so much lol

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himbeaux-on-ice · 2 years

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the insane thing(s) that happened to me yesterday

god uh where to begin uhhhh right. okay. so.

I have lived in Nova Scotia, within an hour of Halifax, my entire life. and of the four(?) Stanley Cup parades that have occurred in the city within that time, due to a variety of circumstances I've never gotten to attend a damn one. I've never so much as laid eyes on the damn thing in person. this has vexed me mildly for years

originally, I lamented that Nate had scheduled his parade on a deeply inconvenient day for me personally, but then schedules changed and it turns out there was actually a good chance I would, potentially, be free at the time of the parade, albeit stuck on the wrong side of the harbour. sure enough, my boss was an absolute g and let us all leave when we ran out of things to do in the morning, so I immediately beelined it across the harbour via transit (including a VERY crowded ferry) just in time to meet my roommate at the library and watch Nate’s parade go by from the air-conditioned third floor window, because my roommate is a genius.

there he is all tiny and holding the thing! wow! and also saw Cogs and Landy in their horse-drawn cart lol. alright well that took two seconds, bucket list item complete, time to go I guess!

I then split off from roommate, who wants to save money by making lunch at home, and head further downtown to get a burger and a vodka soda from Five Guys. then I wander over to Grand Parade to catch the end of Nate’s little speech, and yet another distant glimpse of the man and his Cup!

again, emphasis on distant.

alright well that’s done, now time to go find a spot to eat my burger and finish this drink. on impulse, I decide to wander slowly down to the waterfront to my favourite snack shack to get a slushie and try to find a seat by the water. it’s eight million degrees out so everyone on earth has the same idea and the line is super duper long and the area is incredibly crowded. but whatever, I have no place better to be today. I'll wait.

while I’m standing in line is when I start to notice the people moving through the crowd carrying columns of burgundy, blue and white balloons.

at first I think that they must have swiped them from the festivities on Grand Parade, which is an amusing thought. but then I realize they’re taking them into the staff entrance at the back of a large boardwalk patio restaurant, the Salt Box Beer Garden. watching them, I also start to notice that an entire half of the restaurant has been tarped off, is visibly empty of patrons (during a very busy boardwalk lunch hour on a beautiful Saturday afternoon), and has a small portable washroom trailer like the kind you can rent for nice weddings set up inside the cordon. as I watch, I can see employees moving the balloon towers around and hanging up some Avalanche jerseys around the patio, and doing wild things like polishing the handrails and going after cobwebs in corners nobody will ever look in with a broom. the kind of stuff you do when you have important guests coming over.

slushie in hand, I am now intrigued, and beginning to suspect what this is - the Beer Garden must be rented out for whatever post-parade party is gonna be held once Nate and the Cup are done touring the city later today. it's mid-afternoon, absolutely lovely down here by the water, and I have no obligations, so I set up at a picnic table with a decent view, pour the rest of the vodka soda into my slushie, dig into the burger, and amuse myself with observing the goings-on and relaying what I'm seeing to a few friends. this is an area of town that I often hang around in on warm days anyway, so even if I sit here all day and see nothing, that's by no means a waste of an afternoon. maybe if I stick around long enough, I can get a little closer glimpse of some of the NHLers over the tarp, or of the Cup! perhaps even the so-far-elusive Sid the Kid...

several very chill boardwalk hours later, it's a bit after five, the band has started up inside, and the security guys who showed up a while ago have begun letting people who show up and say the right things in through a gate to the left of those trash cans. I've gone through a second slushie, had my picnic table stolen by a family of tourists while I was sitting at it (leading me to move down onto the steps in front of it, which are closer to the gate and comfier anyway), and had a very relaxing afternoon. I'm clearly not the only person who has caught on and started hanging around, either, as by now there are a lot of other people standing about on the steps. my portable battery pack has finally died and I'm starting to do the math on how much longer I can stick around before I have to leave.

then, while fiddling with my phone, I hear a kid on the steps to my left shriek "OH MY GOD IT'S HIM!!" as the crowd breaks into excited murmurs.

I look up, then look down the boardwalk to my right.

reader, if I'd stood up and taken four steps forward, I could've touched the damn thing.

(and then presumably been tackled by that large bearded man, who seemed to be some kind of security)

Nate raised the Cup for the little gathered crowd as we whooped, and then took it into the already-started party to the sound of delighted welcoming cheers. those of us on the boardwalk mostly stood around murmuring to each other, like, "wow, did that really just happen?" and then we all sorta dispersed our separate ways. I went to buy a Beavertail pastry and find a power outlet, and then departed into the warm summer night.

and to think, a week ago, I hadn't even expected to make it to the damn parade!! I'll never resist the urge to go buy a slushie again

(the second insane thing that happened to me actually deserves its own post, but let's just say I also had a little cryptid sighting...)

#iiiiiiinsane #pls be normal with this post that's all i ask #nathan mackinnon #colorado avalanche #nate mackinnon #stanley cup #the stanley cup #long post

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yourlocalartsonist · 1 year

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ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter One

A/N: HI I’M FINALLY POSTING THE FIRST CHAPTER. Really excited and super nervous but I’m SO happy I can finally share this with everyone. I’m not doing a drawing for every chapter since that’d be selling my soul to the red dilf down below but this is the first chapter so I figured why not do something special. Also apologies if any of the characters seem ooc, I’m still learning how to write them so it might take a bit (especially the dialogue). Also also, sorry if the formatting seem weird, I just copy pasted a google doc into Tumblr and I haven’t entirely figured out how this app works yet. ANYWHIZZLE despite all that I hope y’all enjoy and I can’t wait to write more ^^

Next Chapter

Masterlist

Disclaimer: chapter involves themes of manipulation, violence, and curse words. If you’re sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe <3

—

I looked out the window and sighed. Today could have been a lot worse, sure, but it also could’ve been a whole lot better.

It was one am on a Monday night. Staying up this late this early in the week is gonna guarantee a begrudgingly painful school life till Friday. And yet, here I was, staring at my phone at his texts.

Zane: Hey! You were active on insta. How come you didn’t text back?

Zane: hey it’s been an hour now. I’m starting to worry about you

Zane: Salena are you ignoring me? I already said I was sorry

Zane: fine then. Don’t text me. But at least talk to me tomorrow. I miss you.

Zane: Goodnight.

He was getting clingier by the day. Last month when he asked me out, I was worried rejecting him would break his heart. Somehow, it looks like it had the opposite effect and boosted his ego since he’s only gotten more pushy after that. I mean today he picked a fight with a guy just for talking to me. It’s getting ridiculous.

I groaned and hopped off bed to get a drink of water. I know I should probably forgive him, I’m sure he’s just coping differently maybe. It’ll get better with time. I hope it gets better with time. Otherwise the next four months are gonna be excruciatingly long. Still, I can’t just not be mad after what he did.

As I lamented in my depressive thoughts, I saw four figures out the window, running from rooftop to rooftop. Smiling, I opened the window and let the cool air and the joyous voices flow in. At least one good thing’s coming out from today.

It looked like they were chasing someone, a giant pig man specifically. I would’ve been more freaked out if this was the first human-animal thing I saw.

The very first time I saw one was a giant bull in a bellboy uniform running along the sidewalk, clumsily knocking anything and everything over as he wept. I assumed my sleep deprived brain was probably making things up again but the sheer absurdity of it paired with the fact that my sleep schedule was actually decent that week, I began to question that guess. Then, only ten minutes later, seeing four human-sized turtles walking upright seemingly searching for the bull man sealed the deal that I could not be making this shit up.

But that was two or three years ago. Now, it’s more of a fun surprise seeing the new animal person of the week than a sanity-questioning spiral. Most often, I see the turtles passing by. Sometimes they’re goofing off or skateboarding. Other times, they’re chasing someone like right now. I can only assume the pig man is evil if he’s being chased by them. I know the turtles are good since I suspect they’re the “mysterious heroes” that saved New York from that-which-shall-not-be-named a few months back. I mean, who else could it be?

Even if they’re chasing a potential murderous lunatic, they seem like they’re having fun. They’re all smiling and laughing and whizzing around everywhere, just looking at them gives me an adrenaline rush.

I stared out the window longingly as they zipped by, disappearing into the night. Maybe the late night was getting to my brain, but things just felt worse than usual this time. I’ve been watching these four go by my window at least once a week for so long. They always look so fun to be around. Free-spirited and zany, the exact opposite of everyone in my life. Maybe I really am going insane but for once I just want to know them, to see them up close. And if I’m feeling particularly crazy, I might even say hello.

I found my body edging closer and closer out the window. The fire-escape does lead all the way down, and I’m only on the sixth floor anyway. It’s not exactly a fast distance to the ground but it wouldn’t be too bad if I run…

Before I knew it, I was already out dashing in their direction to catch up. I’ve only ever dreamed of having enough courage to actually attempt this. If my aunt finds out I snuck out my grave will be dug and that’s not an exaggeration.

Yet somehow, that didn’t stop me. My skin felt numb from the cold wind, my hair was going crazy behind me. I felt pain in my cheeks from how much I was smiling. I guess I am feeling particularly crazy tonight.

***

By the time I caught up with them, I was embarrassingly out of breath. They were now all ground level in an alleyway and I was hiding just around the corner, close enough to listen in. A little nervous if they can hear my hideous dying dog pants, not just because it would blow my cover but also for the sake of my prestige. They seem a little too distracted by the pig man to notice me, though.

“Alright, meathead! Give us the poison, or I’m gonna smash your head into the wall and keep smashing till I smash the wall down with my smashy little fists!”

Note to self: the red one likes smashing.

“Oh get stuffed you annoying little rats! Can’t a guy sabotage his rival chef’s excuse of a business in peace?”

“GASP! He’s defaming rats!”

They broke out into a fight over what looked to be a large bag of, assumedly, poison. The pig man’s tentacle arms were whipping all over the place, trying to land a blow on the turtles. Oh and apparently his arms can extend which I would find cool if it weren’t for how gross it looked. It’s all drippy and squishy-looking and weird, not a texture I’d want to be near.

I won’t lie, I was kind of distracted from the danger I put myself in since being this close allowed me to properly see the turtles fight. At first glance it looks like they’re flailing all over the place, but it’s actually in a more cohesive way. The blue turtle teleported around and sliced the tentacles attacking them, the red one went in for a punch with giant fists at any opening. Purple guy had glowing guns in his signature color all shooting at the same time and the orange turtle swung around hitting pig man with any object his fiery chains landed on. My god was I awestruck watching them all in action. I was so busy gawking I barely even registered the magic weapons.

One of the flame chains got a hold of his leg and sent the pig guy flying backwards, losing grip of his poison bag.

“Heads up!” The blue one yelled as the bag soared through the air. All the turtles attempted catching it while the pig man’s tentacle arm followed close behind the bag. It looked like it was about to be body horror Peppa Pig’s win.

So I stepped out and grabbed the bag before he could. All eyes now on me, I made a run for it in the other direction realizing how exposed I was. Behind me I could hear a confused “Who was that?” sounding like it was from the purple guy.

Yeah, sure, maybe this wasn’t the smartest move but if I’m getting myself involved I might as well be useful.

I’d break in and out of thought every time I crashed into a wall or slid on the ground. I was never exactly known for my clearly graceful nature. My body started aching. Still I kept running, only stopping to throw a rock or two at one of the stringy pink arms behind me. Seriously, why does that dude have to be so puke-worthy.

A silver blur sped right past my head. The glowing sword stopped in front of me and a familiar blue turtle appeared out of thin air.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

As much as I pride myself on reflexes, the initial shock didn’t wear off fast enough to prevent me from crashing into him and falling back on the ground. I barely had an impact on him, though, since he was still standing perfectly fine with a hand on his hip and the other gripping his weapon.

“Look pal, I have been heroing all week and as much as I love fighting villains and looking badass, I say we make this fast and you just tell me who sent you.”

“S-sent me?” It took me a while to catch on. Not my best day, I know.

“Oh, no no no! I'm not working for anyone! I was trying to help. See?”

I held out the bag towards him, hoping that would convince him I’m not a threat. To my surprise, instead of taking it, he squinted his eyes and me and crouched down to match my height.

“You know, you look kinda familiar. Have we met before?..”

I was too stunned to respond.

Back when I first saw the turtles, after seeing the human bull, I overheard them talking about him and wanting to find him. The blue one especially, he seemed extremely guilty about something. I figured I’d help but I wasn’t brave enough to just go up to them and tell them I saw the bull. I’m too shy to even approach regular humans, these were talking anthropomorphic turtles. So instead I threw a note down and it bounced off blue’s head. He looked at it, read it, then looked up at me. I poked my head out from behind the fire escape and gave an awkward wave, trying to let him know I was on their side. It worked since he directed his team towards where I wrote the bull man went.

I remember later that same night, he knocked on my window. I was a bit freaked out admittedly and hid away by instinct. I wasn’t exactly expecting to see them again.

“Oookay. Well.” I could tell he wasn’t sure how to deal with me. I was regretting hiding but my legs were frozen in place.

“I don’t know if you can hear me since the window’s closed but I wanted to say thanks for the note. We found our guy way faster than we would’ve if we kept having to use Raph’s ideas.” He let out a playful chuckle.

I felt my heart melt a little. I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t really that. I don’t usually hear things like that often.

“So yeah uh, if you can still hear me, thank you.”

My legs started working again as I heard him leap off to leave. I opened the window and rushed out to the fire escape. Luckily, he was on the ground not too far away from me. I called out to him.

“Salena!”

He turned around and saw me. “What?”

I beamed brighter and yelled again.

“My name is Salena!”

“Salena?” His voice brought me back to present day.

“You remember me?”

He let out a cheery laugh. “Of course I remember you! I told you, your note was the only reason we found Bullhop so fast that day.”

“But that was years ago.” I sighed in disbelief as he helped me to my feet.

“And? No face has ever escaped ol’ Neon Leon’s noggon!” He proudly pointed to his brain. I debated telling him the word was noggin.

We heard voices in the distance.

“PUNCHING LIKE A BOSS!!”

“I SWEAR ONE DAY I’LL TURN YOU ALL INTO STEW!”

“GUYS! He wants to turn me into stew!”

“Mikey, that’s not a good thing.”

“Says you! I’d make a delicious stew, thank you very much, Dee!”

“Welp, duty calls! Let’s get you to safety.” With that, he opened a blue portal and pulled me through it to a nearby rooftop. So his swords can teleport and open portals??

“You think you can keep this bag with you?”

I managed to nod.

He gave a smirk and stepped back through his portal to rejoin the battle.

“Leo! Where’s the bag?”

“And the person who stole the bag?” I could still hear red and purple speak.

“Relax, they’re a friend, they’re keeping the bag safe.”

“A new friend?! OMIGOSH!!” Orange seemed excited

The fight picked up fiercer than before. It was hard to keep up with the turtles and the chaos of their weapons. Orange flames, purple lasers, sheathing metal. The ground shook at every red flash. All the while, the air filled with lively laughter and jokes.

Pig man wasn’t going down easy, either. He pounded his giant spiky mallet, probably matching the force of red’s hits. I know they’re experienced fighters and all, but I felt a bit useless sitting around and doing nothing. I looked around for some way I could help.

Luckily, something caught my attention. On the left side of the roof, I could see a pile of bricks laying around. More than perfect for knocking out a mutant. Now the question is how to get them down.

I saw a flash of blue out the corner of my eye.

Bingo.

Screaming at the top of my lungs, hoping my voice wouldn’t be drowned out, I called out to him.

“Blue! Hey, blue up here!”

He followed my voice to where I was, looking a bit confused and worried I was giving myself away.

I pointed to the brick in my hand. “Make a portal on top of him!”

I saw his face light up as he understood my plan. “Great idea!”

As he dashed off, a blue portal opened near me. I rushed around the roof, grunting as I pushed the bricks in. Blue threw a sword in the air, appeared right above the pig, and opened the other side of the portal, letting all the bricks rain down on him. They all looked a bit surprised seeing around 8 or 10 bricks hit him on the head, blue included. Yeah, sure, maybe pushing all of them in was a bit overkill but seeing how crazy powerful this guy was, I didn’t want to risk it.

And boy, was he out cold. The four turtles made their way up the roof, I presume to get the bag of poison.

I glanced back down at the pig “So like…he’s not dead is he?”

“Meatsweats? Nah that guy’s handled way worse.” Blue said strangely casually. “Good thinking with the bricks, btdubs.”

I’d appreciate the compliment more but I was still struggling to figure out what could possibly be worse than bricks to the head.

“Yeah, thanks for your help back there with the poison, too.” red rubbed his neck and gave a sweet smile. For a big guy he seems awfully friend-shaped.

“I’m Raph. These are my brothers Leo, Mikey, and Donnie.” Leo struck a pose, Mikey waved like his life depended on it, and Donnie…well he was just on his phone with his shell turned towards me. It’s a cool shell, at least. I never noticed it wasn’t a real one before.

“I’m Salena. Nice to meet you all.”

People used to tell me I ask too many questions so I got into the habit of just keeping my tongue bit. But I would’ve exploded if I didn’t seize the moment today to find out what the hell was going on. I’m bad at social situations, anyway, might as well be on purpose.

“So if you don’t mind me asking…What are you? How do you exist? Where’d you get your weapons? Did you make your shell yourself? Who was that guy? Can I see what’s in this bag?”

“AHEM! I’m glad you asked!” Donnie turned his attention towards me, dramatically answering my questions. “We, weird human, are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (trademark). And yes, my battle shell is indeed Genius Built technology. Made this baby when I was twelve.”

“We’re mutant turtles!-”

“Literally just said that in the name Micheal”

“Still think Mad Dogz was better.”

“-And we were made in Draxum’s lab to take over the world back when he was going through his ‘bad boy’ phase but we ended up being heroes instead. Pretty cool right?”

“Hey, inquiry for you actually, why’d you help us anyway?”

I awkwardly answered Donnie, telling them about my luck of random mutants frequently passing by my window. Apparently some of them were Yōkai, Raph said there was a whole Hidden City of them and a doorway leading to it near where I lived. I was a little surprised at how happy they all looked listening to me talk. Usually I’d be told to shut up by now so this was a nice change of pace.

“What happened to your arm?” Leo pointed to the wound on my forearm.

“Oh. That explains why it felt so sore. I guess I scraped against a wall or something? It’s fine, though, I’ll patch it up when I get home.”

“No way. You helped us, we help you. Let the professional do his magic.”

Leo took out some supplies from his pouch. I sat on the edge and let him work on my arm while the rest - mostly Donnie - info dumped their stories to me. At first it was a way to distract me from the initial sting of my cuts being cleaned but it wasn’t long until they got carried away with their storytelling. They told me about their mutation at the lab, how they found out, their two dads and other human friends. The oozequitoes, as they called them, were what made them and all the other mutants. It’s crazy to think these guys were made as literal military weapons considering they’re now wacky vigilantes.

“Voilà! Look and be amazed!”

“Woah! You weren’t kidding when you said professional.” I admired Leo’s bandaging on my arm. It was clean and neat, tight enough to be secure but not turning my fingers blue or anything. Much better job than I would’ve done.

The full moon was beautiful tonight. Unfortunately, it reminded me where I should be at this time.

“Well, I’m really enjoying talking to guys but I should probably go home. I don’t even wanna know how late it is”

“What? But can’t you stay a little longer?” Mikey, who was practically vibrating this whole time, suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He looked so dejected it made my heart hurt. Raph attempted to comfort him.

“They probably have school Mike. Maybe we can hang out another time, if you’re up for it?”

“REALLY- I mean, yes, yeah. That sounds lovely!” Stay civil, Salena.

“Hey before you go, you should really try one of these.” Leo opened the poison bag and took out a pizza puff? “They are absolutely delicious.”

Poison or not, pizza puff’s a pizza puff.

“NO!“ Unfortunately, Raph slapped the treat out of my hand before I could plop it in my mouth.

We bid our farewells and Mikey handed me a paper with their numbers on it paired with some cute doodles of them. After telling him where to go, Leo opened a portal to my room. I know you’re not supposed to tell strangers your address and it did feel a little weird but a portal was the fastest way home. No way I’m hoofing it this late in the night. I love New York but not that much.

Sitting on my bed now, I observed the blue turtle as he was getting ready to go back. The red stripes around his eyes made me realize he was a red-eared slider, I read about them back when I was six or seven I think.

“Hey Leo?”

“Yeah?”

I smiled. “It was nice running into you again.”

He gave his signature smirk “Funny how life works, ay?”

He waved and fell back into his portal. I closed my eyes for a bit, then grabbed my sketchbook.

Placing Mikey’s doodles on a blank page, I wrote down their respective eye colors.

Green, brown, yellow, blue.

—

Next Chapter | Salena Moni

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jerzwriter · 2 years

Text

Long Time Coming

Book: Open Heart (Post Series)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Kaycee MacClennan)

Rating: Explicit/NSFW This fic contains explicit sexual content and is intended for those who are 18 + Only

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, explicit sexual content

Category: Fluffy-ish Smut

Summary: Kaycee and Ethan have been looking forward to this night for a long time, but when things go wrong, Kaycee drowns her sorrows...can they salvage the night?

Words: 3331

A/N: I combined a couple recent asks, this one from @mvalentine for Ethan’s reaction to a drunk Kaycee telling him she has a boyfriend, and also several who were looking for them to have “WE NEED TO DO THIS ALREADY!” sex after the birth of their daughter. Well, here it is! I hope you enjoy it (these two sure did!)

@choices-september-challenge-blog Day 21 – “Welcome Home”

My Masterlist

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go.

Rose and David picked Emma up hours ago and were now holed up in Naveen’s Cambridge home. Alan would join them tomorrow, and the four doting grandparents would probably spoil their precious baby granddaughter beyond repair this weekend.

The first weekend away from a new baby is never easy, but once their nerves settled, Ethan and Kaycee began counting the days. Emma filled their world with joy, but the opportunity to just be them again for forty-eight glorious hours was an opportunity they could not resist. Especially now.

Kaycee got the green light from Dr. Collado last week. Despite her exhaustion, she bolted home, intent on jumping her husband the moment she walked through the door. It had been months… an absolute eternity! But complications late in her pregnancy and post-partum healing required abstaining, and she was anxious to put those days in the past.

But as she swung the door open, a bleary-eyed Ethan was pacing warily across the room. Kaycee saw the desperation in his eyes as he jiggled their screeching baby in his arms. Extending her own, she tried to calm Emma to no avail. Ethan tried again, and the pattern continued until the adorable little demon finally passed out. The only problem was her equally exhausted parents did too.

They thought they had this in the bag, but it was becoming clear… sex and romance with a newborn in the house would not be easy.

“So,” Kaycee asked over breakfast the next day, “we’ll both be home by eight. If we can get Emma to sleep by nine, I think we can do it immediately after.”

Ethan placed his coffee mug on the counter with a chuckle. “We’re penciling each other in for sex now?”

“No! I’m putting you in with permanent marker! Ethan, it’s been months! I’m dying… the only reason I’m not screwing you on this table right now is because we can’t be late for work today.” She looked at her husband with concern. “Wait, you’re eager too. Aren’t you?”

“Yes!” he assured, “I absolutely am. It’s just….”

“It’s just?” Panic began to rise in her chest as terrible thoughts raced in her mind.

“I just don’t want us putting that pressure on ourselves. Because then if we can’t, it becomes a problem.”

She hated when he was so logical. Especially when she was so horny, but she knew he was right. That night ended up being a repeat of the one before. And the next day, Kaycee begged him for a quickie in his office. “Like the old days…” she pleaded. But Mr. Maturity stopped them again.

“We’ve waited this long. Our parents will have Emma this weekend… after all this time, let’s make it special.”

She relented, and they planned. They would make the entire week one long foreplay session! Teasing each other day and night. The second her parents walked out that door, they’d be naked, and the two-day “fuck-fest USA” would be underway! They stocked up on champagne, wine, and strawberries and planned on ordering in food all weekend long – there was only one thing on the agenda – they couldn’t wait.

Friday night was finally upon them when….

“What do you mean you have to stay late tonight! My parents are getting Emma at six!”

“I know! And you know I want to be there, but this is urgent, Kaycee.”

“Fine,” she sighed, “what time do you think you’ll be home?”

“Eight, the latest.”

“Well,” she groaned, “I guess I can wait two hours. Promise you won’t be a moment later.”

“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.”

At eight o’clock, she reclined on their sofa, her body scantly clad in strips of lace and silk so small, some would say why bother. But the thought of Ethan tearing them off her before they leaped into a refreshing pool after months lost in the desert left her tingling. She poured a glass of wine and waited.

At eight-thirty, with her second glass of wine finished, she tapped anxiously on the glass on her phone. Wanting to reach out to him but knowing she should be patient. She decided to wait.

Nine o’clock. No husband. No call. She considered checking to see if any wild horses were, in fact, loose on the streets of Boston. Her lingerie-clad body was now wrapped in a fleece blanket; these things weren’t made to be worn alone long-term. It felt as if the candlelight, roses, and now empty bottle of wine were mocking her as the night dragged on. Finally, her phone chimed. But she only needed to see the first line for her head to fling back in frustration.

But the night wasn’t through toying with Kaycee’s emotions. The bar was strangely quiet, so she texted a few friends who promised to be there soon, but they also got stuck at work with emergencies. She needed to associate with people outside the medical field. But she was determined to make the best of it, but the only people she knew were Bob from Accounting and a resident she didn’t recognize who gushed over her entirely too much. Feeling sorry for herself, Kaycee lost count of the number of drinks she ordered.

Ethan strolled into the nearly empty bar several hours later and found his wife slumped against the wall in the booth she usually shared with her friends. His eyes shifted from her to Reggie, who shook his head with a smile while drying glasses.

“You couldn’t have cut her off?” Ethan asked, approaching him.

“Hey, the bar wasn’t this empty all night, my friend. I do what I can.”

Without being asked, Reggie placed two large glasses of water before his friend.

“So,” Ethan sighed. “How bad was she.”

“Not too bad. Some amusing dance moves with Bob from Accounting.”

“Oh, God…” Ethan grimaced.

“She may have told me her husband was a jerk for leaving her alone tonight,” Reggie shrugged. “I agreed with her. After all, sometimes that guy can be an asshole.”

Ethan took the glasses and laughed, “Sometime, I’d agree.”

A flurry of emotions coursed through him as he slid in beside his wife. Amusement, endearment, a little bit of guilt. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. As he nudged her awake and pushed the glasses of water in front of her, he promised himself he’d make it up to her during the next two days. But as she began to stir, he understood the gravity of the situation he stumbled upon.

“Wake up, beautiful,” he whispered. “I know you think I’m a toad right now, but I promise one kiss, and I’ll be Prince Charming again.”

Kaycee grimaced as she began to stir, covering her eyes after glimpsing at him.

“Your pickup lines suck!” She groaned. “Do they actually work on anyone?”

“I don’t know,” he chuckled. “I haven’t used them in a while.”

“Good!” she stammered. “But you’ll have to try them on someone else tonight. I have a boyfriend!”

“Oh, you do?” Ethan grinned.

“I do. So go away!”

“You sure you don’t want to replace him? What kind of a boyfriend leaves you alone here on a Friday night?”

“My boyfriend is very important!” she slurred. “He is busy with important things… because he is important. You wouldn’t understand that!”

“No, I guess not,” Ethan replied. He held a straw to her lips and watched as she did her best to sip down some water. “Though I must admit, it’s very upsetting to me to learn that you have a boyfriend.”

“Why?” She spat. “I wouldn’t go out with you anyway.”

“Really? That’s a shame… because you married me.”

Kaycee’s eyes shot open wide as the world came into focus – sort of.

“I married you?”

“Yep. Even had my child,” he laughed, rubbing his nails with pride.

“Was I drunk?” She asked.

“The whole time?” He laughed. “No, you weren't, but you are now. Drink some water. We’re going to get you sobered up.”

An hour later, Reggie approached their booth. “Hey, kids, I don’t want to break up this party, but I’m about to close up.”

“Mmmmhhhh,” Kaycee moaned as she snuggled on Ethan’s shoulder. “I’m not ready to go yet.”

Ethan looked at his friend with an air of desperation.

“You know what,” Reggie said, tossing a key across the table. “If I can’t trust you, who the hell can I trust. Just make sure the place is locked before you leave.”

“You sure?” Ethan asked as Reggie walked away, waving his hand.

“I’ve got no worries with you, and neither should you, young lady.”

“It’s OK,” Kaycee giggled. “I sober enough to remember he’s my husband again.”

“And so far, she seems to believe that’s a good thing,” Ethan jested.

She wrapped her arms around him, taking comfort in his familiar scent as he held her close.

“I’m sorry,” she grimaced, “I had no intention of getting drunk. I didn’t realize pregnancy killed my alcohol tolerance.”

“It’s ok,” he laughed. “Reggie tells me you were stuck with Bob from Accounting, and he’d make anyone want to black out.”

Kaycee laughed as she sat up, her head no longer spinning. “You’re not mad at me?”

“Of course not. But, let’s get you home and ensure you’re well enough for… other things… tomorrow.”

Kaycee met him with a mischievous gaze that had him raising an eyebrow.

“Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today. You know that picture I sent you?”

“As if I could forget.”

“I’m still wearing it.”

“You are?”

“I am,” she smiled, rising to her feet and tugging at her clothes. “Underneath all of this.”

Ethan watched in reverent awe as his wife slowly inched her sweater above her head. Forcing him to wait much longer than necessary.

“What are you doing?”

“We have the bar to ourselves.” Turning around, she peered coquettishly over her shoulder as she dropped her jeans to the floor. “Tell me you haven’t had a fantasy or two about doing this?”

“Kaycee… what if there are security cameras we don’t know about?”

She hoisted herself onto the bar with much more grace than she expected and steadied herself with a playful laugh. With a dramatic show, she spread her legs wide, a barstool supporting each foot as she leaned seductively in toward her bended knees.

“Then I’m about to make one hell of a video, Dr. Ramsey. Now, is it going to be a solo show, or do you care to join me?”

A nervous but tantalizing smile spread on his lips as he rushed to stand before her. Cupping her cheeks in his hands, he stared lustfully into her crystal blue eyes. With one look, she made it painfully clear that she would submit to his every wish. Dizzy with desire, he slid his hand along the outside of her smooth, creamy thighs.

“You’re out of your mind, Kaycee. You know that, right?”

“Perhaps,” she grinned, her hands dipping below his waist and gently stroked his harness as he began to groan. “But it looks like you’re enjoying it.”

“You’re sure you don’t want to go home,” he asked, his hands exploring the bare skin on her torso.

“Ethan, it’s been over four months! I don’t want to wait another second.”

“Thank God,” gasped, his mouth tugging at her ear, “because neither do I.”

Kaycee’s back arched as he held her close, the sensation of his warm mouth trailing down the length of her neck causing her breath to hitch. He stopped at her collarbone, gently kissing and sucking at her delicate skin, before slipping his fingers under the lace cup of her bra. Her body quivered, and a shallow groan escaped as he toyed with her the way only he had ever known how.

“You think you’re the only one who is a little depraved,” he growled as his mouth dropped down to service her breast.

“I never said that,” she gasped, caressing his hair as his tongue swirled around her.

Her hips gyrated on the hardwood surface, her body longing for more of his touch. He bit her nipple lightly, and her eyes clenched shut. “Quite impatient, aren’t we,” he chuckled with a graveled voice.

“Ethan,” she shrieked, voice full of want. “I haven’t had you in four months! I need you.”

“You need me?” he teased, standing, he brought his lips back to hers. His fingers slid under her panties and were saturated with just one touch. Pulling the wetness from her core, he slowly swirled his fingers through her folds, taking great pleasure in watching her lose control before him. She was all his.

“How badly would you say you want me?” he asked, pressing a finger gently inside her.

A broken whimper came from her throat, but words… he didn’t expect her to formulate words, did he? Not with his warm mouth again encircling her nipple and his fingers, now two deep inside, teasing out her pleasure below.

“You didn’t answer me,” he said, teeth tugging at her sensitive peak. “How bad do you want me?”

“So… so bad,” her voice quaked as she shamelessly grinded against his hand, desperate for more. Her eyes shut tight in eager anticipation as unintelligible worlds fell from her lips.

“Would this help?”

A loud shriek filled the air as a third finder thrust deep inside, and he began rocking his hips against her, pushing firmly against her most sensitive spot.

Despite his own mounting pleasure, he smiled in delight as he watched her crumble, her body trembling as she clung desperately to him.

“Come on, beautiful,” he whispered lustfully in her ear. “Let go,” he gasped as his thumb made its way to her swollen clit, pressing hard as he furiously encircled her.

“Ethan… I… I….” she breathed.

“That’s right,” he smiled. “Come for me, precious. I want you to come for me.”

She felt a burst as she clenched around his fingers. So tight he had to fight to keep them working her through. Her head flipped back with a curse as her gasps filled the empty space around them. Ethan again lowered his mouth to her breast, scraping his teeth against her. Her hips lurched off the bar. She pulled him so close she no longer knew where she ended and he began. Her body convulsed with pleasure once more before she went limp. Falling breathlessly onto her elbows behind her.

When her eyes finally opened, she found him staring down at her with wanton lust in his eyes, his hand still lazily tracing circles inside her. His heart raced, and he was certain that he would explode if he didn’t have her soon. Her disheveled hair, flushed skin, and the way her teeth sunk into her lower lip as she gazed up at him with unadulterated bliss. He did that. He did that to the woman he loved most in the world, and now he had to have more.

Without a word, his hands hurried to his waist. She watched as he unbuckled his pants and dropped them to the floor.

“Thank God,” Kaycee sighed as she helped remove his shirt. “I was wondering when you were going to get naked with me.”

“You’re not naked,” he groaned.

Kaycee looked down at the whisps of fabric covering her, all pushed to the side so he could access whatever his heart desired.

“Well, I’m hardly clothed,” she giggled.

“It’s still too much.”

She felt his hand grasp the fabric between her legs, then, with a quick snap and burning sensation, her panties joined his pants on the wooden floor.

“Wow! You really go after what you want?” she smiled.

Laying her flat on the bar, his palms pushed her legs apart, then he took her in his arms as he climbed on top of her. A look of longing she had never before seen burned in his eyes. His breath was now coming in pants, and he pulled her in for another kiss.

“You know the only thing I want is you.”

“Then have me,” she purred, lowering her hands to spread her lips for him.

With a guttural groan, Ethan softly pushed inside her, slowly at first, to ensure she was all right, but also so he could relish every second as her silky walls enveloped him, squeezing against him, welcoming him back home. A curse escaped him when she took him in completely.

“Kaycee,” he gasped. “Are you OK?”

“I’d be better if you were fucking me,” she said with a sexy grin.

Then she watched as his eyes turned dark. Something feral awakened inside. Permission had been granted; now, he was taking what he needed, all he desired… she was his. Each thrust was deep, desperate, longing to fill a need that had gone too long unfulfilled. The mix of pleasure and pain as her nails scraped the length of his back and the beautiful noises escaping her brought him closer and closer to the edge.

She gazed up at him adoringly as she felt her own pleasure beginning to crest once more, beads of his sweat splashing onto her bare skin. She lifted her legs, and he helped her shift her heels above his shoulders; they both gasped as he filled her again, deeper, harder, faster than before. She cried out as ecstasy overtook her.

“Ethan….” her voice quivered, ‘Ethan… I….”

“Say my name, baby… say my name for me.”

“I… I… can… I….”

“Say it!” he hissed through clenched teeth as she arched her back up, pressing against him as she met him, move for move.

Her eyes fluttered shut as the world flashed bright white around her, ripples of unabashed pleasure racing through every inch of her body.

“ETHAN!” she cried as she squeezed tightly around him.

“That’s my girl,” he gasped as he began to jerk on top of her.

“KAYCEE!” He screamed as he came to his own release, spilling deep inside her.

They didn’t know how long they lay atop the wooden bar. Both spent Ethan’s head rested upon her breast. Feeling drunker than she had before, Kaycee mindlessly twirled his sweat-soaked. Leaning over, she kissed his forehead with a smirk on her lips.

“Welcome home,” she whispered as he chuckled against her.

“It’s good to be home,” he smiled.

“Well, not exactly home, more like at our favorite bar.”

“You know what I mean,” he teased as he rose to his elbows and looked her in the face. “That was….”

“Well worth the wait.”

“You can say that again,” he concurred.

“So, have you ever thought about doing it on this bar?”

“There aren’t many places I haven’t envisioned doing this to you,” he grinned, “But I thought we would at least have done it in front of my spot.”

“Aw,” Casey whined, twisting her neck to look at Ethan’s chair. “Well, we can do it there later if you want. After we recover a bit.”

“As delightful as that sounds, why don’t we clean up here and go home? There are several softer surfaces I’d like to explore with you.”

Kaycee raised her mouth to his and they shared one more sensual kiss.

“You’ve got a deal!”

One week later:

“Hey, buddy!” Reggie sang as he slid a napkin in front of Ethan at the bar. “Where’s the Mrs. today?”

“She’s still at work. She’ll be down later.”

“Good, always good to see your better half. Now, what’ll it be, the usual?”

“You know me by now,” Ethan stated.

“I thought I did,” Reggie replied, pouring Ethan’s favorite scotch into a tumbler. “But over ten years you’ve been coming here now… Care to share why a creature of habit like you has suddenly changed your seat?”

Ethan snorted as he lowered his glass back to the bar and wiped his lips. He looked at his old friend with a half smile and firmly answered. “No.”

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

@jerzwriter-reblogs-asks

#ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #open heart choices #choices fanfic #ethan x kaycee #ns*fw

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gravessyard · 1 year

Text

Garden

Notes from the crypt: So this started out as self indulgence before I realized that I could totally make it into a fic to share, so I hope you all enjoy. I'll say here that I used the codename Garden because my name is Eden and y'know... Garden of Eden lmao again, this started as something I'd read back to myself for my personal pleasure but as I kept going I figured I'd share it anyway! I got a lil tipsy today so forgive me if the end is a little messy;;

Tags: GN! Reader, military au, depictions of violence, blood, mentions of death, angst with a happy ending

Summary: It was supposed to be a simple escort mission, until shit went sideways

“Ugh, an escort mission? That’s boring, I can’t kill anything on an escort mission”, Tartaglia huffs from his chair, slouching back with his arms crossed over his chest like a child who got scolded. Pierro glances at him, annoyance evident in his gaze after being rudely interrupted during their meeting. Scaramouche glares at him before kicking his shin from under the table, causing the ginger to jolt in pain and glare back at his teammate.

“Children, please, you two will get your chance at each other’s throats when we have secured The Garden. Now pay attention”, Pierro growls before going back over their mission, which was simple in theory: months ago you had managed to infiltrate an enemy base under the guise of wanting to join their cyber operations unit. You were successful, working alongside the enemy to “help” their missions while copying important data to bring back to the Tsaritsa. You had gone silent a week ago, your last message to Pierro relaying how you thought someone was beginning to grow suspicious of your presence before you just disappeared entirely, and then he saw that your silent alarm was tripped. Something felt off about it, but he prioritized your safety first, so he wasted no time in rounding up his squad that consisted of Tartaglia, Scaramouche and two other nameless soldiers to give them your location and the mission to get you out.

“Try not to gain attention to yourselves, Garden doesn’t have any weapons other than their computer so if they get caught, we’re all fucked. Plane leaves in 10 minutes, dismissed.”, Pierro watches the men stand and give a salute before they’re jogging out of the room and outside, boarding the awaiting plane that took off not too long after. Tartaglia yawns loudly while checking over his equipment, making sure his weapons were loaded and knives were where they needed to be while also complaining internally that you could have at least waited until noon to bug them and not at 3 in the morning.

“Shut up, you yawn any louder and they’ll hear us coming before they see us”, Scaramouche scoffs from beside him, and a moment later he’s pushing something into Tartaglia’s hand. He looks down curiously to see a 5 hour energy that Scaramouche pulled from his vest, a snort escaping him while he glances over to see the other shoot his own energy vial back. “Jesus dude, how many of these do you have?”, he snickers, unscrewing the cap to shoot the liquid back, face contorting at the questionable flavor.

“I have enough”, the rest of the flight to their first location was made in silence, tension beginning to grow among the four once the plane landed and they get off to see a car awaiting them. ‘The car will take you to where Garden is, around this time there will be guards posted, if you can sneak past them then do so. If not, well, leave the rest to Childe. Garden will be waiting at the south entrance, so get in and get out quickly.’ The car ride to the building was equally silent, not even the radio was on. Childe is no stranger to silent car rides, but there was something about this one that made his hackles rise. He snuck a glance at Scaramouche, who looked equally uncomfortable before the man is looking at the driver, a face he doesn’t recognize. Just as the car was beginning to approach the building, their coms devices spark to life, your voice breaking through static.

“STOP! Stop!! It’s a trap!”, your scream through the coms made Childe’s blood run cold, he was barely able to look at the driver before his hearing went out all together and the car was flipped upside down. A small crater was left on the ground where the tire went over the land mine that was awaiting them, Childe’s vision seemed to move in slow motion, a constant ringing in his ears as he takes in his surroundings. Scaramouche was kicking at the driver, his mouth screaming curses that Childe can’t hear as the smaller man kicks the gun out of the driver’s hand, the two shots that came from his own gun seemed to bring him back, the sound returning.

“Tartaglia! We have to go!!”, he hears Scaramouche scream and gets to work on opening the door so he could crawl out and help his teammates out of the overturned car. A flurry of bullets has them crouching behind it, weapons at the ready. “What do we do?!”, one of the nameless soldiers cries beside them, gun in their trembling grip. Childe looks over the side of the car to see where the shots were coming from before sending his own bullets back, taking down two of the enemy soldiers. Scaramouche joins him, peeking over the other side to spray bullets before barking orders at the other two. Seconds of firing go by before their coms are sparking back to life again, your trembling voice whispering in their ears.

“Tartaglia – this is Garden, how do you copy?”, you sounded like you were hiding somewhere, and Childe could only hope it was someplace safe.

“Garden! We’re under fire outside of the building, what the fuck is going on?!”, Tartaglia shouts back, pulling back so he could reload his weapon. One of the nameless soldiers take his place. “It’s a trap, I sent Pierro word that someone was onto me some days back and well, they found out I worked for the Tsaritsa. They wanted to use me as bait to get you guys here and kill you, I’m so sorry –“

“Quit whining, we don’t have a lot of time here! Where are you?”, Scaramouche growls in his coms, switching places with the other nameless soldier so he could also reload.

“I’m hiding in a supply closet on the second floor, I think I lost – “, a scream is ripped from you, Childe and Scaramouche could hear the door be thrown open and more screaming from your end before the coms went dead again, and dread filled their veins.

“Find a way into the building! We’ll cover you!”, Scaramouche snarls at the nameless soldiers before he and Childe begin raining bullets on the remaining soldiers that were trying to approach the vehicle. Following their teammates to the entrance, they wait while one of them fumbles with picking the lock, their trembling hands proving to be a hassle since they kept dropping the pins and cursing to themself.

“Move!”, Childe yells, pulling the soldier to the side so he could kick at the lock, he was growing way too impatient to wait for this fool to open the door when you could potentially be in danger this very second. Three solid kicks later the door gives, swinging open and his reflexes are quick to shoot down the single guard that was prepared for their break in. Childe calls your codename through the coms, hoping you’ll respond but the grip on his gun only tightens when he’s met with static. The inside of the building is eerily silent, there’s barely a body in sight outside of the guard he shot down. Like the trained soldiers they were, the four of them began sweeping the floor, checking every room in hopes that you had gone back to hiding. “clear”, Scaramouche grumbles quietly beside the ginger, who only frowns in response before he leads the team upstairs, he can feel a bead of sweat roll down his cheek as his eyes scan the empty floor, he notes the open door of the supply closet you were pulled out of, and guessing from the papers thrown around the floor, you managed to put up a bit of a fight. He’d smile if your life weren’t currently in danger, silently motioning his team to sweep the floor. He checks a room, finger nearly pressing the trigger when he spots the body of a dead soldier, knife plunged in their neck. His brows furrow as he looks around the room, other than the body he can see droplets of blood on the floor leading outside of the room and towards the stairs.

“Scara”, Childe calls and immediately the soldier is by his side, looking down towards where blue eyes were to see the blood leading up the stairs. “Sir… The wall”, one of the nameless soldiers whisper, and both men look up to see the bloody handprint that was clear on the wall, it had a streak going up, meaning whoever was injured was dragged upstairs. Swallowing hard, Childe takes a step onto the stairs when he jumps at the sound of a single shot followed by your scream, and then they were all rushing upstairs. Childe and Scaramouche couldn’t believe the sight that welcomed them, the bodies of two soldiers laying motionless in different places of the floor, one with a knife plunged in their chest and the other laying in a pool of their own blood. Four guns were pointed at a stumbling body that was exiting a room, hand pressed tightly against their neck before they’re falling face first on the floor, the sounds of gurgling dying down moments later. Approaching the room, Childe leads with his gun, stepping slowly inside with your name on the tip of his tongue before he sees a flash of silver, and suddenly he’s grabbing the wrist of the assailant and slamming them against the wall, arm twisted painfully behind them. Your screams and whimpers fill his ears and his heart drops, hands immediately letting your arm go and barely catching your slumping form as you cry in pain.

“Shit, y/n – “, his breath catches when he sees the state you’re in, your shoulder was bleeding from a bullet wound, you had a split lip and a black eye, he didn’t even want to imagine what other wounds you could be hiding under your clothes. “Fuck, Scaramouche! Radio in, we need immediate evac and a medic, Garden’s hurt”, Childe picks you up bridal style, whispering apologies to you when you whine in pain.

“I-I already… I already did that”, you pant in his arms, exhaustion beginning to take over. “Evac’s… 5 minutes out”, your head dips, and Childe has to shake you gently to keep you awake.

“Hey, don’t close your eyes, we’re getting you out”, he doesn’t know if he’s saying that more for your sake or for his, half of your shirt is already drenched in your own blood, and judging from how pale you appear, he fears you may have lost a lot. Scaramouche takes the lead in escorting the team out, leading with his gun while the two nameless soldiers cover the back, the sounds of a helicopter is reassuring to the ginger as he watches it land, the door opening so they could rush inside. He reluctantly gives you to the two medics who begin working on you, cutting your shirt open and Scaramouche can see how pale Childe gets when your wounds are exposed to the air. Along with the bullet in your shoulder, there was a stab wound on your side actively bleeding, your blood coating the forming bruises that littered your body.

“Garden, can you hear me?”, one of the medics calls out to you while the other pushes an iv in your arm to begin administering fluids, but both pause when you don’t respond, your eyes long closed and chest devoid of movement. Tense silence fills the air as the medic calls out for you once more, fingers moving to press against your neck to search for a pulse.

“H-Hey, whats going on?”, Childe questions, leaning forward to try and be by your side but was held back by Scaramouche, who had to use all of his strength to fully keep the man back. “Hey! y/n, wake up! No, no no, please!”, Childe screams as he watches the medic begin chest compressions, the other speaking into a radio. He couldn’t watch you die here, not when you two had gone through so much. You were always Childe’s favorite, you were reliable and witty and had a sense of humor that rivaled his own, you were always there for him and his team, your lovely voice guiding them through almost all of their missions before you decided to take this one for yourself.

‘You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life’, Childe begins as he holds your pinkie tightly against his own, your giggling making him break out into a grin. ‘You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice. The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again’, he brings your pinkie up to his lips to press a kiss against it, your laugh ringing heavenly in his ears. ‘Well that wasn’t morbid at all’, you snicker as you mirror the motion, bringing his gloved pinkie up so you can press a kiss against it. ‘Just promise me you’ll come back safe and alive’, he huffs, letting go of your pinkie in favor of bringing you into his arms for a warm hug. ‘I promise, Ajax’.

“you promised…”, Childe whispers to himself as a tear rolls down his cheek, the helicopter landing and the door opening before you’re being pulled out and laid on a stretcher, the medic doing your chest compressions straddling you so they can continue while you’re being wheeled away. “They’re in good hands, now come on… We have to go back to base”, Scaramouche keeps a firm grip on his shoulder as he coaxes the grieving soldier out of the helicopter and onto the plane that brought them there. He was noticeably distant the entire way, not making any snarky remarks whenever Scaramouche prodded at him or even when Pierro was commending them for keeping a level head during the mission, even if it went sideways, all he was focused on was praying that you pulled through and was okay. He tried asking around about your status but was met with several confusing answers, some would claim that you died while others say you were brought back, it brought him to near insanity just trying to figure out who was telling the truth. He was growing impatient, waiting days before he was summoned for a meeting, silently sitting next to Scaramouche and crossing his arms, blue eyes staring at the table while he waits for Pierro to enter the room.

“Damn, who died? Thankfully not me”, his head perks up at the sound of your voice, looking up to see you walking into the room next to Pierro, your injured arm in a sling and he can feel tears fill his waterline. He shoots up to his feet, rushing to you so he could throw his arms around your form. You yelp, free hand smacking at him while telling him he’s hurting you, and he apologizes softly while loosening his grip, arms moving to wrap around your waist while he presses his face against your neck, hot tears rolling down his cheeks and getting the collar of your shirt wet. “Aw, did you miss me that much?”, you snicker, running your hands through his hair while listening to the way he sniffles and sobs quietly into your skin.

“You kept your promise”, he murmurs against you, his form beginning to tremble as he lifts his head to get a better look at you; while you still had a black eye and some scratches, he still found you to be beautiful in his eyes. Your eyes were wide at his statement before softening, holding your pinkie out for him to wrap his around while pressing your forehead against his to the best of your ability.

“Of course, I’d hate for my tongue to fall off from the cold after all”, you chuckle, hand moving to wrap around his neck while he brings you closer to press his lips against yours, completely ignoring the gagging sounds coming from Scaramouche.

“I’m never letting you go again, y/n.”

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