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#FALL OUT BOY SANG MY FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME OF ALL EXISTENCE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
robertsbarbie · 11 months
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it’s a strange way of saying that i know i’m supposed to love you, i’m supposed to love you (x)
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lieblingspulli · 1 year
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Memories in my Palm: SKZ
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W.c: 3k
Bang Chan x Reader
Summary: bang chan rot. I am sad and happy and everything in between because of this. 
A/n: Highly inspired by The Flower Garden (sorry Im so obsessed with Howl’s moving castle, the music is just so vividly moving I can’t resist writing when I listen to these songs 😣) and the whole ep Strawberries by Vietra. Highly recommend listening to this album on repeat while reading it! Enjoy!
Masterlist!
SKZ Masterlist
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You remember the exact moment you encountered Chan for the first time. He was just a boy, running to achieve a dream that he didn’t even know the certainty of. He was at the beginning of his trainee days. You were at the beginning of your life post-high school. The both of you were seeking perfection from an imperfect experience. When you reflect back on your meeting, sometimes you feel as if it were fate. That life brought you to this boy that would become something bigger than himself. 
You remember that day clearly. The sun was shining and summer had just arrived. The heat was beating down on Seoul relentlessly. You picked the nearest park you could find and figured a park would fit better than your stuffy room, still unpacked from moving. 
The cool air in the shade provided a sweet refuge from the stuffy hotness of the sun. The grass tickled your legs and you smelled the sweet flowery scent of a nearby flower bush as you sat to rest in the cool shade. The sounds of conversations floated in the air idly, existing as background noise to the calmness of your day. Children played with their dogs. Grandparents encouraged toddlers to walk. Parents cooed at their children after a tumble. The chatter was loud, but it faded to a comfortable white noise. 
You thought about the taste of your favorite sweet ice cream melt in your mouth as you watched a child walk by with a popsicle in hand. That same ice cream had nurtured you throughout your childhood and the taste of vanilla never failed to make you remember the times you had bought the cone from the ice cream shop around the corner. That same cone that the worker handed to you in your youth nurtured your adulthood as you moved to an unfamiliar place. Your mouth watered as you laid in the grass, careful to place your arm behind your head and contemplate how familiar yet different the environment around you felt. 
There was a wave of cool air as the breeze picked up. The sound of leaves rustling tempted you into closing your eyes, singing a lullaby that eased you into a trance. Birds sang and you closed your eyes to listen. You were tempted to fall asleep right there, but some nearby voices interrupted your tranquility. You cracked an eye open. 
“Dude, I don’t know what to do, I lost all my progress on my track.” 
“Everything?” 
“Yea, everything. I’m so screwed.” 
“Hey, it’s not that bad. Do you have the original file?”
“No, that’s gone too.” 
“Oh.” 
“Yea.” 
“Maybe I can try and help you recreate it?”
“It took me literal hours to make. I think it’ll take longer to recreate it. There were so many track layers, and I’m so stupid too. There were original beats on there that only existed on that file. Good lord.” 
“Ji, breathe. It’s gonna be okay. I’ll just tell Seungmin I can’t meet with him today and I’ll help you out.” 
A moment of silence. 
“Chan, I can’t make you do that. You’ve got so much to do already. And Seungmin won’t be happy either.” 
“It’s okay. He can deal with it. Besides, I want to help. I feel bad, I know what it’s like to lose a whole track, near completion. It’s a shitty feeling.” 
“You’d do that for me?” 
“Yeah man, what wouldn’t I do?” Some laughs. A soft smack. 
“Thanks. I really really really appreciate that.” 
“Of course. I just want to help.” 
 You peek around you, not moving your head to be more inconspicuous. Out of the corner of your eye, you see two boys sitting near the tree you were laying next to. They must not have seen you, considering you were behind them. The two boys seemed to be a bit lanky and awkward. One had blond-ish hair and was wearing all black, the other had chocolate brown hair and was fiddling around with his beanie in his hands. You quietly listened to their continuing conversation. 
“I just feel like the songs I’m submitting are all being struck down. I’m not really sure what to change about them.” 
The one with the beanie hugged his knees tightly to his chest. It seemed a bit hot to be wearing a beanie. But the same could be said for the one in black. You mentally rolled your eyes- boys. From their demeanor and way of talking, you assumed they were around the same age you were. Maybe the one in black was a little older. 
“I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with them Ji. Everyone’s just gotta focus on improving right now. I mean, look at Felix. He’s trying really hard to learn a new language he’s gotta sing in. Or Seungmin. He’s tasked with working on his dance. But like I said- there’s nothing wrong with their skills, they just have room to improve.” The older boy spoke so eloquently. ‘Ji’ as he was called, just nodded solemnly and looked off in thought. Chan, whose name you gathered from their approaching conversation, nudged his friend. 
“It’s just the beginning. Don’t be too hard on yourself. We haven’t even released a full album yet!” Chan giggled and you could hear the way his laugh trembled with excitement. It was contagious. 
“I guess you’re right.” Chan’s friend smiled. Chan just replied, “I’ve been here for years Jisung. I know a thing or two.” You smiled as Chan smiled, but quickly caught yourself for being creepy and listening in on a private conversation. However much you told yourself it wasn’t right, you couldn’t stop listening and focusing on how Chan encouraged his friend.
Even in the uncomfortable summer heat, surrounded by too many people and feeling uncomfortable emotions, Chan managed to lift his friend up out of the dumps. You were fascinated with the way this random boy managed to match the happiness of a puppy. 
The conversation went on for a little longer, but you tried not to listen in much, assuming a private conversation should stay that way. But for the rest of the day, the demeanor of ‘Chan’ left an impression on you. His smile and his ability to be a friend to lean on stuck to your memory. Even after the two boys had walked away, you replayed the way Chan had so wisely maneuvered his friend’s negative thoughts into ones seeking improvement. 
That afternoon, you decided to walk away from that park and get yourself that ice cream. While eating it, you wondered if you could ever be that type of person for your friends. You resolved to be that friend, walked up to the counter, and paid for the next person after you. That summer afternoon would stick with you for a long time. 
-
It wasn’t until you frequented that specific park that you noticed the same boy over and over again. As the summer heat died down and the leaves of the tree you sat by started to change colors and fall off, you began to notice Chan more and more. At first, it would be brief, in passing. He would walk by you as you sat on a nearby bench. Or he would be listening to some sort of music on a bench as you made your walk to your tree. But eventually, you saw him more and more, and he saw you. 
One day, he even said hi as you walked by. That was a mistake. You had walked by with your ice cream in hand (even in 50 degree weather) and he was seated on a bench when you two made eye contact. At first, you resolved to just walk past, but as soon as you tried to, he looked directly in your eyes and smiled. 
“Hi, how’s it going?” 
You tripped on the sidewalk crack. Fortunately, you didn’t fall. Unfortunately, your ice cream did. 
“Oh my gosh- I’m so sorry!” 
You put your hand over your mouth and stared at the now dirty ice cream on the sidewalk. For a split second, you didn’t know whether to shake your head and say it’s okay or to be shocked that he said hi to you. 
Chan had risen from the bench when you dropped your ice cream and was awkwardly sticking his hands out, prepared to catch you when you almost fell. You were standing with an empty ice cream cone. You realized that it was just silent and had to say something. You looked at Chan. 
“Oh no, It’s all good, it’s cold anyway.” You awkwardly laughed and looked around, not sure what to do. Should you be picking up the ice cream with a napkin? Do you just leave it there? You were so absorbed with the sidewalk that Chan’s response startled you. 
“I can get you another one, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you like that. It’s just, I’ve seen you around before and wanted to say something but I didn’t realize the sidewalk-” Chan rambled on and you stared at him wide-eyed. You blinked. The wind picked up. The napkin in your hand (from your bag of course) flew away. Chan shut his mouth and watched it fly away. It all happened so fast. 
The two of you ran after it, as it was the last one in your bag and he just wanted to help. The wind took the stupid napkin down a nearby hill and unfortunately as you reached for it, you lost your balance and fell forward. Chan, being the good guy he always was, reached for your waist as you fell in front of him and he lost his balance too. The two of you ended up in a heap at the bottom of the hill. It was a large hill. 
“I am so sorry, oh my god!” Chan immediately got on his knees and checked that you weren’t seriously injured. You groaned and sat on your butt, trying to pick pieces of dry grass from your hair. 
“It’s fine. I’m sorry, I’m super clumsy.” You huffed and rubbed your palms, which had scraped down on the way to the bottom. Chan reached for your elbow and hesitated. 
“Can I?” He wanted to check your arm. You nodded. He carefully reached and gently grabbed your palms, checking them for dirt. He blew off the debris and carefully inspected them. You winced, your palms felt raw. 
“They don’t look too bad, but some ointment and a bandaid should help. Are you okay? Do you need help getting up?” Chan looked at you. He was sitting on his knees and heels, leaning close to you. He must have crawled over to you after you fell. You shook your head, feeling your mouth go dry. This was super embarrassing. 
“Thanks for helping. I think I can get up.” You smiled painfully, feeling the true shock of embarrassment. You totally just dragged this guy down a super tall hill with you. For a napkin. He nodded and smiled back, revealing two deep dimples on his cheeks. Your cheeks turned red, but you looked down at your palms before he could see. 
He leaned back and stood up, reaching out to help in case you needed it. You attempted to get up, but the rawness of your palms burned so bad as soon as you put pressure to get up. You hissed. 
“Here- grab my forearm. Carefully.” Chan reached out with his arms and instructed you. You complied and he grabbed your own forearms from below. With a count to three and a little grunt, he pulled you up quickly. You felt a bit dizzy from the fall and sudden pull. Chan firmly held onto your arms and steadied you. 
“You okay?” He gently asked. You nodded and whispered a thank you. 
“Can you walk?” You blushed and nodded. 
“I can try?” You smelled his cologne. He was quite close. He looked you in the eyes with pure concern for a split second before breaking a wild grin. You smiled at his tousled hair and the dirt smear on his cheek. 
Chan laughed and sighed in relief. 
“Good. I thought I was going to have to cart you off this grass field with a stretcher.” He let go and you instantly missed the space where his hands had been grabbing you for support. You nervously laughed. 
“At least we didn’t break anything right?” You lightly joked and brushed some grass off your pants. He chuckled, the novelty and the awkwardness of the whole situation already passing by. 
“I’m really sorry about that by the way.” You tried to apologize again. He just shook his head and stuck his hands in his pocket. 
“Nah, I should be the one apologizing. I was the catalyst for the events that just took place.” He groaned and it was your turn to laugh at him. 
“It’s okay really.” You tried reassuring him. He suddenly got shy. 
“Do you want to get another ice cream? My treat.” He shyly asked. You blushed and felt your ears get hot. 
“As long as we don’t eat it by the hill, sure.” You joked. He smiled and laughed. You loved when he laughed like that. His dimples were eye-catching and his eyes sparkled. He motioned for you to lead the way and followed behind you up the hill, making sure if you fell again, that he’d be there to catch you. 
-
And here you were, about 5 years later. You and Chan were sitting across from each other on the couch that you both owned. Sitting in the apartment you shared with him. Sitting in the home you made with him. 5 years of dating later, you now shared your life with him. No more falls, no more spilled ice cream. Just him as your pillar. But all of that seemed so far away from you now. 
“Babe, I wanna fix this. I feel so bad, I really want to make it up to you.” Chan leaned forward to grab your hand, but you retracted it. Whether it was from anger, or from sadness, you didn’t care to be touching him right now. He had left you waiting on him, he had promised to take you out for a self-care day. But as usual, he ran late, and then late turned into not showing up at all. It was now the next day. 
Chan had turned up at your door with a bouquet of flowers and the clothes on his back. You had slammed the door in his face. 
“You forgot about me Chan.” You whispered and looked down, tears dripping off your chin. 
“Y/n. I’ll do better. I want to always be there for you. I want to be there when you need me and be there when you don’t. I love you. Please.” He desperately pleaded. You stared at your palms. The open windows of the apartment invited the cool summer breeze. You stared at the smooth lines on your palm, remembering the cool air you had felt when you first met Chan. The sounds of the swaying tree branches and children playing echoed in your ears. 
“Y/n?” Chan carefully studied you. 
You looked up at him and studied his eyes. You took in his appearance. He looked tired. He looked like he needed to shower. Like he needed to be hugged and reassured. You remembered the conversation he had with Jisung. How he turned Jisung’s negativity into encouragement. How his strong presence anchored the fleeting fear of Jisung’s mind. Your eyes softened and you reached out to hold his hands in yours. He tightly grabbed them and kissed your knuckles. 
“Chan? Remember when we fell down that hill after you made me drop my ice cream?” 
You smiled. He looked startled, but then his tired eyes curved with his smile. He chuckled in embarrassment. 
“Yea. I felt so bad. I was just trying to get your number.” He lovingly smiled at you, a twinge of embarrassment dusting his cheeks pink. You closed your eyes and held his hand, remembering the way he tightly gripped your arms that day. You remembered the soft smell of his cologne and the grassy smell of his jacket as he handed it to you on your walk to the ice cream shop. You rubbed his hand with your thumb and laughed. You truly remembered the tone of his voice as he comforted Jisung. You deeply remembered the concern in his words as he asked if you could walk on your own. 
“It’s okay Chan.” You looked up and he searched your eyes for any sort of anger. You smiled at him, and thought of all the times he had comforted you, or comforted anyone in his life. You realized then that all he truly wanted was to take care of the people he loved, even though he drew from an empty cup himself. You got up and he got up too, sighing as you hugged him close. You wanted to be that person for him, whenever he needed it the most. 
Feeling his hands, feeling the memories of your meeting in your palms, it made you remember the promise you made to yourself to be a pillar for anyone you knew. This wasn’t about you anymore. This was him too. So, instead of you, you chose the both of you. You chose him and you chose his well being. 
“It’s okay Channie. I’m here for you. I’ll always be.” You whispered and you pulled away slightly to kiss his cheek. 
Chan’s concerned face turned into one of deep relief and deep exhaustion. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes and you wiped them for him as they fell. 
“I love you so much Y/n. I just wanted to help.” 
His words echoed those of the words he had spoken five years ago. 
“Channie. Let me help you. You do so much for everyone, I think it’s time you get help too.” You gently told him and you held his face in your palms, glad that he had helped to heal them all those years ago. 
He nodded and closed his eyes, accepting your love and patience. You kissed his lips and he melted into your embrace. You held his face in your hands, ready to always keep the memory of him in your palms. 
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yourveryownkarma · 10 months
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This was composed so many times and lost over and over again or accidentally deleted and it's been scraped and pieced together for about a year now and I always lock it in my notes and save it everytime I re-do it. I think it is now time to let all of you go; and unlock this from my clipboard and give my heart the freedom to be happy again.
I think it took so much of me to be the caregiver I always wished I had, for you... and I may never get that, but maybe you can get what you need if someone has the blueprints of all I learned with you...
As any other vapid girl, it must start with a quote, one I've found fits and it does it beautifully, at least for me.
"They all turned their backs on us because they knew if we held on tight to eachother... we were something fatal... but we fell into the wrong hands."
To the girl who loves him next;
I fucked shit up to the point of no return and the boy this letter is about deserves what I had the potential to give him... had I not been battling demons stronger than myself at the time.
If the first time you meet him it feels like you're in fucking 6th grade meeting your new best friend, talking a mile a minute and never wanting to sleep because you're so excited you found someone this amazing... (I think we spent 3 sleepless days and nights talking and falling so quickly in love it was worse than some freak hurricane, it caught me by surprise and to this day i know ill never laugh that hard again or be that happy again) then listen please, for everything that is holy please just read this a million times so he finally can have the life he deserves. I promise he is worth every fight every melt down every public scene... I fucking swear on it, but you won't know if you don't learn how to help him out of these situations.
The first few times it's going to seem like a fucking nightmare. Please stop and understand me when I say this... "imagine how he feels". As humans we are not very good at seeing beyond our own selfish existence, so it's going to take some actual effort, he's fucking worth it.
Learn his triggers and listen to what the fuck he's saying even if it sounds crazy to you, listen to those words because there's meaning behind them. It's not just to freak out its not just to embarass you and its certainly not Any fun for him. Keep cold water with you for these moments. He needs it to drink and splash his face with.Do not be afraid to jump in a cold shower with him with your clothes on, because no matter how shitty it sounds now... it's some of my favorite memories to look back on, being able to calm him and hear what he is trying to say because you've learned how to help calm him and you've become that much closer. I would sing to him, i wont give the details of that song or that part as its something i want ro keep to myself, it was my favorite song and i havent listened to it or sang it since the day i droppwd him off at the airport.
Don't lie to him, however fragile his ❤️; it can withstand the hard truth, but the sugar coated lie is a slap deep into his soul, please don't break his trust. It's so sacred and beautiful. I know right now you don't think you can handle him, and I'd love to be selfish and tell you to send him on an airplane to me because I miss my best friend and lover, but if you stick this out... he will make you the happiest girl in the whole world. I know from experience. Please do not hurt him. Because if I find out about this, you will have alot bigger troubles than him not being able to let go. He is sensitive and messy and fun and sweet and chaos and perfection... but don't ever make him feel like he is not enough, he isnt... and don't ever make him feel like he's too much... he isn't. He is a perfect portion of all and he taught me how to love myself and he taught me patience in the purest form.
If you give up easily, you can come join my sad club...
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Yours truly, GHOSTGIRL (R.I.P. DEVIL GIRL)
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fairy-writes · 2 years
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I saw that the 700 follower event is for two requests now, thank you so much! Can I grab Meteor Shower by Cavetown with Kento Nanami as well? (I may have a type)
METEOR SHOWER
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Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!
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Requester: labradorite-skies
Fandom(s): Jujutsu Kaisen
Pairing(s): Nanami Kento x Gender Neutral!Reader
Song: Meteor Shower by Cavetown
Genre: Ya know what? I don’t even know. Probably fluff?
This is for my 700 followers event! Check my pinned post for more info if you want to join!
A bit short, but I still like it :)
This is also not really a song-fic, though it is laid out like one. It’s me more being inspired by the lyrics. 
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Kento looked at you like you had the moon in your eyes and the sun in your time-cracked palms. He looked at you like you wrote sentences and stories in the Milky Way. As if you connected the stars with your finger as the pen and your imagination as calligraphy ink.
He let himself be sucked in.
I've got miles of regrets and confusing friends
But perhaps it's just my stupid head in the end
Thinking should I wait here or make my way home
You said go
Kento looked at you as if your skin and lips were stained with the dandelion of hopes and plum of dreams. As if you painted your cheeks with the brushstrokes of nebulas, and red giants, and white dwarfs, and neutron stars.
You let yourself be sucked in.
Making up problems that don't exist
Why do I let myself dream like this
We're floating away. My body's in space
We are going home
You both cracked open a bottle of champagne with gravestones. Watching the sky and weaving stories in a tapestry of silence as he told you stories of Jujutsu Sorcerers who got a little too friendly with death and had to say a hasty goodbye. Before adding themselves as another glittering star in the sky.
He let himself be sucked into your embrace.
Missing pieces of my skull
I'll sew on patches of my own soul.
There's nothing you or I can do, so let the stars fall
Cause from up here, the sky's my thoughts, and we're all so small
You sang songs about them, something Kento admired. You sang ballads and soul songs and danced waltzes to honor the fallen. You sang to the sound of wind passing through windchimes and to comets falling from the sky and the sun going down over the horizon.
You let yourself be sucked into his touch.
Meteor shower, quick take cover
But the hues in our hair compliment one another
I'd sell my own bones for sapphire stones
Cause blue's your favorite color
Your anxiety stitched your mouth shut with spider silk, so you wouldn’t ever say what you really felt. Your imagination was a lonesome garden party never attended; the guest list was flower-pressed names long forgotten, left to decay in a chest of wicker and brass. But he cut the silk with gentle fingers and kind words. He allowed you to express your opinion and listened happily.
He let himself be sucked into your heart.
My heart and the earth share the same rule
It starts with Love, and it ends with you
But don't go outside, it's dangerous tonight
Without me here right by your side
He was your boy of silver and gold. Wearing his heart on his silver sleeve and his soul behind molten promises. Burning light cascaded from his glowing heart as you cradled his face as you changed the color of the sky in your eyes. 
You let himself be sucked into his soul.
Take it slow. You'll know
Which way to go
Sew up your skull
Take your time
And we'll be just fine
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strangeinvader9 · 2 years
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The Way You Are
This past week, had been odd for you. Your two boyfriends, Ace and Sabo had been acting different. Yes that was an odd statement but it was true. Somehow you, the least popular girl in school, had managed to land two of the hottest boys in existence simultaneously. While most expected that to fail immediately, it had actually lasted six months. Sabo, the sweetheart of the school, was quite a gentleman and treated you like a princess. Ace, the school bad boy, was sometimes more like a bodyguard and always protected you. Different though they may be, you knew they both loved you very much. Although you loved them just as much, due to your insecurity you often questioned their sincerity over it. You had thought at least one of them would've gotten tired of reassuring you constantly, but they both seemed happy to do so. In fact, Ace was the more passionate one about doing it. Which brings you to today. You hadn't seen either of them all day and it was the day of the big talent show your school had every year. Even their goofball brother, Luffy hadn't seen them and that made you suspicious. The three rarely went anywhere without each other. If they did, they told each other the deal. Luffy was clueless. You were snapped out of your thoughts when the lights in the auditorium suddenly went off, leaving only a spotlight on the stage. Looking towards said stage, you blinked as you saw Ace pushing the principal off the stage. "What do you think you're doing? I thought I banned you from the show," your principal demanded. "Yeah, yeah. I need the stage so get off. Show's over anyway," Ace responded. You were further surprised when Sabo walked onto the stage with a microphone after Ace came back. "Hi everyone! Congrats to the winner and all, but my brother and I have a special presentation for a very special friend of ours," Sabo announced. As soon as the music started up, you felt your heart skip a beat. It was one of your favorite songs. "Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying She's so beautiful And I tell her everyday," Sabo began singing. You nearly fainted. You'd never heard Sabo sing before, his voice was so sexy! "Yeah, I know, I know when I compliment her, she won't believe me And it's so, it's so sad to think that she doesn't see what I see But every time she ask me do I look okay? I say" At this point, Ace took over. "When I see your face There's not a thing that I would change 'Cause you're amazing Just the way you are And when you smile The whole world stops and stares for a while 'Cause girl, you're amazing Just the way you are," he sang. You let out an involuntary squeal. They both sounded amazing! You were starting to wonder which of their friends they were singing to. Suddenly, another spotlight came on. It was shining on you, causing you to realize that they were singing to you. Upon realization, you felt your eyes begin to well with tears. "Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she'd let me Her laugh her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy She's so beautiful And I tell her everyday," at this point, they were singing together. "Oh, you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change If perfect's what you're searching for, then just stay the same So don't even bother asking if you look okay You know I'll say When I see your face There's not a thing that I would change 'Cause you're amazing Just the way you are And when you smile The whole world stops and stares for a while 'Cause girl, you're amazing Just the way you are The way you are The way you are Girl, you're amazing Just the way you are When I see your face There's not a thing that I would change 'Cause you're amazing Just the way you are And when you smile The whole world stops and stares for a while 'Cause girl, you're amazing Just the way you are. Yeah." Once the song had finished, you were in tears. Standing from your seat, you rushed to the stage, tackling both of your boyfriends in a hug. "____? You OK?" Sabo asked, noticing your tears. "I couldn't be happier. Thank you both so much!" you exclaimed. Ace chuckled and pulled you into a kiss. "Anything for our best girl," he stated. Sabo agreed and gave you a kiss of his own. "I love you both so much." "We love you too, ___.“
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Title: A Little Bit Country
Author: Brian D. Kennedy
Genre: YA Fiction | Drama | Romance | Friendship | Music | LGBTQ+
Content Warnings: Homophobia | Racism
Overall Rating: 8.4/10
Personal Opinion: For Luke Barnes, country music ruined his family’s life. For Emmett Maguire, country music is his life. These two boys could not be more opposite but by chance, they both end up working at Wanda World where they meet and slowly fall for each other. Sweet and romantic with a side of celebrity scandal and mystery, this book will enrapture all your senses as you read it. I will admit that I mostly found it romantic from one character’s end though.
Do I Own This Book? Nope.
Spoilers Below For My Likes & Dislikes:
Likes:
- Emmett and Luke have good chemistry together. Mostly, I felt it from Luke’s end. The way Emmett fully supported Luke’s dream of being a chef and made him promise not to give up on it was just so sweet. And calling him an artist on top of that, I felt that.
- I love Aunt Karen. She was so unabashedly there for Emmett no matter what and wholeheartedly supported his dreams to be a singer. I hope she finds happiness of her own regardless of what shape or form that takes.
- Vanessa is also great. She’s such a supportive friend to Luke and I know it must’ve been hard for her to be around someone who could never love her the way she loved him once. But she was still there for him. She got him his new job, she drove him home when he was drowning his sorrows in alcohol, and she stayed with him even when he came out. I hope she finds happiness too.
- Jessie and Avery are great too! Country music really is overwhelmingly straight and white. So having Jessie (Chinese) and Avery (Black) advocate for themselves as having a place in country music is awe-inspiring to me. I love how much they love it even if it doesn’t love them at times. That shows their passion and dedication to their craft.
- When Emmett sang “Dream Cowboy” instead of Wanda Jean’s other songs, I felt so proud of him for choosing to be himself. He’s still young and he has time to hone his craft. He will make it big in his own time, I’m sure of it.
- Cesar and the other chefs at Grandma’s Cupboard are all wonderful human beings for welcoming Luke so easily into their kitchen and teaching him how to cook. I love when older folks support younger folks with no ulterior motives. And the fact that Luke got a job as a prep cook for another kitchen after quitting Wanda World thanks to Cesar brought a tear to my eye.
- The twist that it was Wanda Jean who gave Verna Rose the locket and wrote those love songs was very well done. I saw it coming a mile away too but I still loved it because I could feel the love between those women. I just knew in my soul they were once in love. And it makes me so sad that Verna gave it up to live a “normal” life. When Wanda Jean released her new song though, coming out, I was just on the brink of tears. Truly, I felt that queer joy.
- The ending is so cute. But my absolute favorite part about it though was Emmett holding a poster of himself to give to Luke. That is adorable and hilarious at the same time. And the fact that Luke wants it signed too is just so cute. Like, I love when people are the biggest fans of their partner’s work. As they should be!
Dislikes:
- Fuck Grady’s cheating ass and Cassidy’s complicity. How dare she look like Carrie Underwood when “Before He Cheats” exists. Mostly I’m just mad that Aunt Karen got hurt. On the other hand, Jessie and Avery got something good out of this so… yeah. 
- Fuck Orrin too! Yes, he gave Emmett the opportunity of a lifetime but he also told the kid to pretend to be straight? I mean, I saw it coming so whatever but it still makes me cringe. You’re acting like this in the 2020s? Yikes.
- Mostly fuck Whizzer and Bulldog though. They showed up early enough that they set the tone for the town and it was just gross for me.
- I’m going to be honest, I didn’t feel the chemistry much from Emmett’s end. I felt like he was only in love with Luke because we were being told that. I didn’t really see what Emmett saw in Luke besides his looks. I felt like I was missing substance. Like Emmett never got to try any of Luke’s food! Luke never really talked about himself to Emmett! Plus the cold way Luke treated Emmett in public just left a sour taste in my mouth. How can you be in love with someone like that?
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dreamiesdotcom · 3 years
Text
tw: even the writer doesn't understand what the characters are thinking in this story
[12:53a.m] It had to be fate that Jeno met you at all. He wasn't searching, no, and he believed no such thing as soulmates existed. Forever was not real.
He could see it with the couples of the internet. He could see it in the sparkle in his friend's eyes as their own relationships blossom, and how that spark dies down each and everyday. Could see it in the way his parents shared vows and lived by it and still ended up in divorce.
He could see it in the little things, in the way he swore he'd never get tired of poetry but the saccharine words soon grew sickly sweet on his tongue. Could see it in the way the music he swore to love forever brought a certain feeling of unsatisfying routine; he plays it because he always plays it at this time, 8:30 p.m, right before he starts looking out the empty town he grew up in, not because he wants to.
But when he first saw you, innocent and spring-like and laughing like a deity, blowing bubbles as you run around in circles, soles of your feet being tickled by grass, he thinks he might just not care. Everything in his life so far has proved him that forever was not real. However, these innocent fleeting first love mirage you cast onto him with each smile, it makes him say things: he says he doesn't care. He says it doesn't have to be real.
He says screw all facts and reasoning, he wants it to be. Even if it's not, he'd choose to be stupid and believe blindly.
"Stay," he remembers himself, much younger and uncertain about what he truly wants to do with life, mumbling. "Stay forever."
But he knew.
"Yeah? That's a real long time, Lee." You say, but despite that you had smiled sweetly, "I, I mean... I wouldn't mind though. I would spend it with you, gladly."
He knew. He knows what he's doing.
And now, years later, he knew exactly what he did, too. He knew exactly what he did but when he comes home to you, twirling in the living room and humming to yourself, he smiles and leans at the door frame and watched you fondly anyway.
As long as he comes back to you, right? As long as you were waiting for him at home. This was what loyalty truly meant, right, straying but knowing where to come back anyway?
And you knew exactly what he did. You knew and it showed in the empty look in your eyes as you sang along to your favorite song, in the way you wore your gorgeous smile and looked beautiful but didn't shine. You knew and it dripped like honey from your lips when you played you didn't and said your usual 'welcome home, my love, I was waiting for you. Was tonight fun?'
It was fun.
Alcohol ran in his veins and his head buzzed pleasantly. His friends, mainly Jaemin, were begging him to stop drinking. He laughed it off. They didn't stop stopping him, when he was reaching for another shot and when he was talking to another girl.
He was curious as to what the new drinks tasted, at what other girls sounded. Curiosity birthed greed. He wants more. More answers. He wants to find out what they'd sound like when he drinks the intoxicating liquid from their lips.
He gives in.
It wasn't.
"I wish I just stayed home with you, though, but the boys were persistent," he smirks. He walks towards you, hazed look in his eyes. "Shall I make a proposition in hopes of making it up to my princess?"
"I am listening."
"Then, may I dance to this song with the princess?"
You giggled as you took his hand, ignoring the bile rising from your throat at the thought of where those hands probably were, what they were busy with, because they sure as hell weren't keeping to themselves. You masked it pretty well. You were a convincing actor.
No, rather, a pretty liar.
When he holds your waist, it's in a way so delicate like he always does; you ignore the scent of liquor and rather sweet perfume, not the one he wore. You entwined your hands as you hold them above his nape, smiling dazingly. He swears he sees moonlight shine through your expression.
"Will this be enough, my lovely?"
"Hm."
"I see. You're a bit greedy tonight, aren't you?"
"Mhm. Love you."
"Of course you do. I love you too."
You sway and whisper sweet nothings to each other, not stopping even until the endless loop of your song begins to sound like screeching of tires. When you fall into the couch because your feet can no longer handle spinning in circles, he holds onto your waist tighter and rests on the crook of your neck.
"Stay, moonlight," he rasps. "Stay forever."
Jeno smiles at you one more starlit grin, before giving in to sleep like he does to most things easily. It was fucked up, how innocent he looked. You wanted to kiss his forehead and confess to him one more time before running your touch down his cheeks until they're framing his neck, and clamp down until he couldn't breathe. You want to strangle him softly, sweetly, so he doesn't fucking make mistakes anymore.
It would be helping him, wouldn't it? You're just keeping him from sinning more. Isn't this what love is? Doing everything so neither spiral into the path of evil?
You opt to softly run your fingers through his locks instead. His phone lights up, and you wonder if it's one of his girls, poor things he sees nothing more than dirty little... oh, that word. It disgusts you to the core.
Turning to your own phone, you cut off the soft tune of your love songs, in favor of the haunting instrumental you'd hope to hear when success comes and you're colored red everywhere except inside. Then, you notice Jaemin's messages, a soft smile on your face.
What a wonderful boy he is.
Too bad, you didn't fucking care.
He was the one who opened that door to your once pure boyfriend, after all.
###
(Jaemin ᕱ⑅ᕱ
08:12p.m: hey y/n! thanks for letting jen tag along
08:12p.m: i mean you never did stop him, but i just wanna tell you how happy i am
08:12p.m: thanks for trusting us! i'll look out for him!
08:15p.m: of course we'll be careful, hahaha
08:16p.m: you never ask for it, but I'll update you~ have fun, alright? whatever it is you'll be up to
12:04a.m: y/n
12:04a.m: [image]
12:04a.m: i don't know how to say this, or if there was any right way to, so i'll do it while i still have a little courage. i felt it would be right to tell you... you decide what you do from here on.
12:09a.m: i'm sorry)
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royalwilmon · 2 years
Note
I'm back & if u want I'd also love to see Erik's reaction when Wille tells him everything that's going on with his horse boy over whiskey and ice cream after 'bound to you' please and tack x
i think this was for @omar-rudeberg if i remember correctly. sorry, it's been a hot sec since i've hopped on the saddle x
boy, i believe in us (call me up late irl #12)
this is part of a series of drabbles that give a closer look at what is going on behind the screens of call me up late. i want to do a bunch of these over time so please let me know which parts of cmul you want to see more from!!
Wilhelm’s heart felt about ten times too big for his chest. It was such a new feeling. He had no idea how to process it.
Simon had previously existed in a section of his brain previously reserved for daydreams and wishes and impossible things. Now, Wilhelm had heard his voice. Simon was a real person–living, breathing, and alive–on the other side of his screen. The boy Wilhelm had dedicated an entire month to trying to get to smile was really real.
Not only was he real, but he also had the voice of an angel. It was cliche, sure, but Wilhelm couldn’t think of another way to describe it. Not that Wilhelm had ever been much for religion, but he had to imagine that if there were an everlasting paradise, it would feel a lot like how it felt to have Simon singing in his ear, melodies of love songs circling him and filling his heart until it was set to burst.
Melodies of love songs. A love song. Love.
It was too soon for that word. Wilhelm knew that, at least to some degree. But also, Wilhelm had never been in love before. The concept was foreign to him. He just had a vague idea as to what it should feel like based on movies and books he had seen and read over the years.
The pang in his chest when he remembered the way Simon’s voice swelled and washed over him when he sang “Do I risk it all? Come this far just to fall?”.
Was that love?
“I may be in a little over my head,” Wilhelm admitted, expression blank as he noticed Erik hovering in his doorway. True to his word, in one hand, Erik held a bowl of ice cream, and in the other, a glass of whiskey.
Erik just stood there for a moment, eyes focused on Wilhelm. Wilhelm knew the look Erik was giving him. Erik was sizing him up, studying his posture and expression, looking for the telltale signs of his anxiety. Wilhelm was surprisingly at ease, though, his usual nervousness replaced with a more internal excitement and warmth. When Erik had looked at Wilhelm long enough to know that he was alright, he let out a huff of breath through his nose and walked over to sit next to Wilhelm on his bed, making sure to shut the door behind him.
Wilhelm reached for the whiskey, and Erik made a show of holding it out of his reach, handing him the ice cream instead. This wasn’t the first time Erik and Wilhelm had commiserated together over ice cream and whiskey, and each time they played out the same little routine. While Wilhelm was still underage, he was stuck with the ice cream. Which he was honestly fine with—he just liked goofing around with Erik.
“One of these days…” Wilhelm muttered with a smirk, taking the spoon from Erik and wasting no time before diving in. Coffee ice cream. Wilhelm’s favorite.
“So,” Erik said, getting down to business. “The L word. That’s a pretty big deal, Wille.”
Wilhelm took a slow breath, his gaze lost somewhere in the ice cream in his lap–anywhere but up at Erik. Warmth flooded his cheeks as he tried to verbalize the tangled mess of thoughts and emotions in his head.
“I… it’s just hypothetical right now. He keeps taking me by surprise, though. Every time I learn something new he becomes more and more… perfect.”
At this, Wilhelm looked back up to Erik. Erik was focused, nodding his head as he tried to work through his own thoughts about the matter. Wilhelm didn’t know what to expect.
“Can you explain to me what brought this on?” Erik asked after a moment.
“I heard his voice,” Wilhelm said, his face breaking out into a smile as he said it, as if speaking the words out loud made them more true. He heard Simon’s voice.
“Did he call you?”
“His best friend called from his phone when he was singing karaoke. He sang that love song from Burlesque that Ali sings near the end.”
Erik’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “He sang a Christina Aguilera song? At karaoke? And you still think he’s perfect?”
“He has the best voice I’ve ever heard. I’m not just saying that. He’s incredible.”
“I suppose I’ll have to take your word for it,” Erik said, before taking a slow sip out of his glass. “So, hearing him sing was enough to make you want to fall in love with him?”
“It’s not just the voice. It’s just…” Wilhelm paused and tried to recollect his thoughts. “I’ve spent the past month texting Simon nonstop. I know him. Silly little things about him. Like… He doesn’t know how to tie a tie without googling it. When he was a kid, before he got into music, he wanted to be the person who decorated the cakes at supermarkets when he grew up. His favorite book is The Little Prince—it has been since childhood and will be forever. And he cares. So much. About everything. About me, I think. I don’t know in what way, or how much, but I can feel that he does. And for so long, as I was getting to know Simon, it felt almost like I was getting engrossed in a book. Diving into another world and getting to know a character inside and out. But then I heard his voice and it wasn’t fiction anymore. Simon is real. He’s out there right now, somewhere. Knowing he’s real makes it all just feel… I don’t know. Possible. More than anything, I just want to get to know him more.”
Wilhelm was breathing heavily by the time he stopped speaking. His heart pounded in his chest as all the feelings that had been culminating there began to spill over.
Is this love?
Erik looked at Wilhelm carefully, noticing the way he was trembling slightly with all the excitement. Wilhelm looked right on back, eying his brother expectantly. Wilhelm noticed the way his eyes then darted to Wilhelm’s phone, which was plugged in and resting on his bedside table. The only time that phone got any chance to recharge was at night. Wilhelm has been living with a perpetually low battery for the entire month.
Erik then took a moment to look around the room. His eyes darted around the palace walls, looking corner to corner to take in the space they were in. A building centuries old that has housed many a monarch in its time.
Erik sighed. He reached out to take the bowl of ice cream from Wilhelm, which was starting to melt as Wilhelm had been ignoring it. Erik handed the glass of whiskey to Wilhelm.
“You need it more than me.”
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persephone-plasmids · 3 years
Text
Debriefing
Deacon and Sole fanfic.
[AO3]
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]
Debriefing
Deacon and Sole walked in complete  silence through the abandoned Nuka-World park. Not because they were worried they’d attract the attention of ferals, but because neither of them seemed to be mature enough to address the incredible kiss they’d both just shared. Of course, nearly having Sole kill him when she got poisoned by HalluciGen and meeting a super dramatic Ghoul named Oswald had also distracted them. But Deacon was fairly certain the kiss was the real reason for the silent treatment he was currently getting.
I shouldn’t have done it, Deacon thought to himself. Although even as he thought this, his mind replayed the sensation of Sole’s lips against his and he felt his cheeks flush.
Sole was walking ever-so-slightly ahead of him, her hips swaying back and forth in a way that Deacon tried to ignore.
Right. He needed to fix this. To get things back to normal.
“Hey Charmer, did I ever tell you about the time I went undercover as Magnolia for an entire week?”
Sole slowed her pace a bit so that Deacon could fall in step beside her. “Go on,” she said, raising an eyebrow with an amused look in her eye.
“I did the whole shebang. Donned the red dress, wore a black wig, sang all the songs.”
“Flirted with the patrons?” She asked.
“That was my favorite part,” Deacon said. “You wouldn't believe how many free drinks I got that week. It’s amazing what people will do for a pretty face.”
A smile tugged at the corner of Sole’s lips, but the action just brought Deacon’s attention right back to the very area he was trying to forget.
He cleared his throat nervously before continuing. “I'll tell you, though. I’m not a fan of shaving my legs. I could never quite get that little area behind my knee.”
At this, Sole snorted, trying to suppress her laugh and failing miserably. “How do you even come up with these ridiculous lies?”
She still wasn’t looking at him, but he preferred it that way. If she wasn’t looking at him, then they weren’t in danger of suddenly kissing each other.
“Who says that’s a lie?” Deacon asked, his voice easily slipping back into its smooth unconcerned cadence.
“Literally anyone who’s ever met you,” she said, looking down at the ground as they walked. “I can read you most of the time. But I’m finding it harder and harder these days.”
“Oh?” Deacon asked.
He wanted to know what she’d meant by that, but he never did get his answer. Instead, he heard the familiar clomp, clomp, clomp of power armor approaching them. Deacon rolled his eyes at the Paladin’s lack of subtlety and Sole moved a bit further away from Deacon.
The motion would have been almost imperceptible to anyone but him. But it still gave him complicated feelings. Was he hurt that she didn’t want to be seen being this familiar with him? Or did it give him hope that she was feeling that same connection to him, even if she was trying to ignore it.
“Soldier,” Danse said, nodding to Sole before turning to Deacon. “Liar.”
“Ouch,” Deacon said, placing a hand over his heart and stumbling back a few paces dramatically. “Shots fired, Paladin. Right out the gate too.”
“Told you everyone knows you’re a liar,” Sole said under her breath, grinning as she looked at Danse.
MacCready appeared suddenly beside Danse, out of breath and wiping blood from his hands. “There’s a serious Bloodworm infestation here. I think we should get out of Dry Rock Gulch. It’s not worth the effort.”
“That’s just as well,” Sole said. “The Synth isn’t in Nuka-World. They’ve already made it out of The Commonwealth.”
“Is that so?” Danse asked. “Outstanding!”
“Bingo!” Deacon shouted.
Everyone stopped and turned to look at him in confusion.
“Danse said ‘outstanding’. That’s the last square I needed on my boy scout bingo card.”
No one said anything. Instead, Sole’s cheeks immediately flushed a dark shade of scarlet as her eyes grew as wide as saucers. She stared at Deacon in horror and had she not immediately looked away from him again, he would have thought there was a Deathclaw behind him.
Danse cleared his throat uncomfortably before Sole began loudly speaking. “So, I think we’re all done here. The Synth is safe and we’re all alive. Let’s head out.”
Sole’s voice sounded unnatural. And the way Danse turned away from Deacon with a stronger look of annoyance on his face than normal, told him that something was wrong.
As Sole and Danse began walking away, Mac sidled up beside Deacon and said in a low voice, “Not really your color, is it?” Before snickering and joining Sole and the tin can.
Deacon brought his hand up to his lips. When he pulled them away, he could see that they were stained with Sole’s red lipstick.
“Perfect,” he groaned.
--------
Things back at Railroad HQ had been normal when Sole and Deacon returned to report to Desdamona. Painfully normal. The kind of normal you got when you were trying too hard to make things seem normal. Sole was still avoiding eye contact with Deacon, but when she thought he wasn’t looking, he’d catch her staring.
Again, his sunglasses proved beneficial for more than just his Railroad missions.
“Thank you both for your continued efforts on behalf of The Railroad,” Desdemona said, after they’d given her the news concerning the Synth in Nuka-World. “Charmer, you’re getting much more efficient in your debriefings.”
“Charmer can debrief me any time,” Deacon said, giving her finger guns as Sole just shook her head in exasperation.
“Deacon, do I need to refresh your memory on the no fraternization rule?” Desdamona asked.
“Oh come on, that was funny,” Deacon insisted.
“Deacon?” Desdamona was still waiting for him to answer.
“No Des. I’ll do my best to shield your ears from my incredible wit. But just know you’ll be missing out.”
“I think I’ll survive,” Des said shortly. “You’re both dismissed.”
And with that, the imposing woman walked away.
“Sheesh, tough crowd,” Deacon said, pulling on the collar of his white shirt for effect as he smiled over at Sole.
“I mean… she is right though,” Sole said, looking down at her hands instead of at Deacon. “We probably shouldn’t joke about stuff like that.”
“Are you… we joke about that kind of stuff all the time,” Deacon said incredulously. “I mean… if it makes you uncomfortable of course I’ll stop. I just… thought that was sort of our thing.”
Deacon could feel his cheeks heating up as he desperately tried to save the situation. If Sole was uncomfortable with their joking, it was news to him. She was usually the one to start the innuendos. But he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.
The kiss may have tarnished their friendship a bit, mostly because it made it impossible for Deacon to keep lying to himself about his feelings. But he didn’t want it to completely ruin what they already had.
“I just… don’t want people to talk,” Sole said simply, still looking down at her hands.
“Yeah, of course, Boss. Whatever you say,” Deacon answered, rubbing the back of his neck before trying to assume a nonchalant posture. “Just trying to keep things light. I’ll resort to the old failsafes instead. You know… the nuclear apocalypse… the hopelessness of our existence… Danse’s extensive grooming routine.”
Sole almost smiled at this last bit. He could tell from the way her jaw tensed. But instead of smiling she just nodded. “Thanks, Deeks.”
Without another word, Sole gave Deacon a curt smile, turned on her heel, and walked away, leaving him totally and utterly confused about where they stood.
Idiot, he thought. Did I seriously think I could kiss Sole without things getting weird? Do I really want to throw away my closest friendship just because I… what? Feel something for her? Big deal. I feel something for Fancy Lad Snack Cakes and I’m not making moves on them.
Deacon refrained from letting out the gigantic sigh that had settled in his chest, not wanting to draw attention to himself. Instead, he ducked into the escape tunnel and out the back door into the small underground room just beyond the main section of Railroad HQ.
Pulling out a cigarette, Deacon nearly jumped out of his skin when Sole lit a match beside him.
“Geez! Are you kidding me?” Deacon whisper-shouted at her, jumping back against the wall and hitting his head in the process.
He dropped his unlit cigarette to the ground and rubbed the back of his head where it had made contact with the bricks.
“I thought you were always aware of your surroundings.”
“And I thought you were a baby Deathclaw about to drag me off to mommy like a bleeding morbid trophy,” he said, still whisper-shouting. “Why are you back here, Sole?”
“I needed some alone time,” she said, her face slightly amused as she watched him come down from his scare. “And then you just followed right behind me.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Deacon said. “I didn’t even see you come back here. Trust me, I don’t go around looking for humiliation more than once a day.”
“Excuse me?” Sole asked, her eyes narrowing at his words.
Deacon swallowed, realizing he was being too honest again. He didn’t want her to know he was hurt. Hell, he didn’t even want her to know he had actual feelings for her.
“I mean… I have gone looking for humiliation in the past,” he began, trying to think up a lie funny enough to distract Sole from his honesty. “Like this one time--.”
“Deacon, stop,” Sole said, shaking her head. “Sorry, I just… I can’t do this.”
“Yep, no problem,” Deacon said automatically, without really knowing what she was talking about specifically.
Odds were, he probably didn’t want to know. He’d made a point of detaching himself from the people around him. It was a necessity in The Railroad. But it had also been crucial for his survival after Barbara. Sole broke down that resolve and made him feel out of control in a way that he both loved and hated.
Sole turned to leave but stopped herself and instead faced Deacon once more, looking at the ground with a deep sigh.
“I’m just going to say it, okay?” she began, now looking up to meet his eyes before frowning. “Geez, Deeks, will you please take those sunglasses off so I can actually see you?”
Panic.
He needed his sunglasses. Otherwise Sole might find out just what a terrible bluffer he actually was.
“You know what? Never mind. This might actually be easier if I can’t see you.”
Her words were doing nothing to comfort him and he was desperately trying to quell the mild panic attack that was rising in his chest. “Sole, if I’m dying, you really need to just rip off the bandaid and tell me.”
He grinned at her, but they both knew it was a facade to mask his panic.
“I appreciate you telling me about Barbara. That took a lot of trust to open up to me about her.”
Well this wasn’t looking good.
“And I felt instantly connected to you because of it. We… we both knew what it was like to experience loss.” Sole frowned but pushed through it. “And honestly, after everything with Nate, I didn’t think I’d ever… feel anything for someone again.”
Deacon had to stop this conversation. He’d made her uncomfortable. And he hated himself for that.
“You don’t need to say anything else, Boss. I got it loud and clear,” Deacon said.
But Sole wasn’t letting him off the hook that easily.
“I don’t think you do,” Sole said. “I get that you flirt. It’s what you do. And it was always fine with me but… I can’t keep putting myself out there just to find out that this whole thing is a big joke to you. I’m not like that. It… it hurts too much.”
Deacon’s heart twisted inside of him. Had he misunderstood this situation completely? There was no way. Because as much as he’d dreamed about Sole reciprocating his feelings, he never thought it would actually happen.
Deacon had been a bigot back in his youth. Someone had died. He’d been a violent man. Sure he’d changed, but there was no way someone as good as Sole would be able to look completely past that. She may say his past wasn’t important, but she was just being polite. That’s who Sole was.
There was no way she could ever truly forgive him. He knew that. And he didn’t think he’d deserve that kind of forgiveness even if she did offer it.
“I respect you too much to break up our team, because we really do work well together… I just need the flirting to stop,” Sole said, looking down at her hands again as she twisted them together. “I want… I want you, Deacon. And it’s fine that I can’t have you. Really. I can learn to live with that. I’m a big girl. But… I’m not good at differentiating your joking with what’s real. I never have been. You know that.”
Deacon was staring at Sole now with the most shocked expression he’d ever worn.
She was saying that she had feelings for him. Wasn’t she?
Of course, he could just ask her for clarification, but that went against every instinct inside of him that was screaming at him to make a joke.
He realized a bit too late that he had been staring at her in silence for quite a while. She looked up at him uncomfortably with a wince. “So… are we good?” she asked. “Even though… you know… I just told you I have a crush on you like some five-year-old on the playground?”
There it was. The confirmation.
Deacon’s mouth might have actually dropped open in shock. He wasn’t sure.
“Okay, well… this has been sufficiently awkward. But I said what I needed to say. So…” she gave him a soft awkward slug on the shoulder. “Good talk, Sport.”
She instantly shook her head in embarrassment at her own words.
“Yeah, I’m going to leave now,” she mumbled, ducking her head down and turning to walk away.
“Wait, hold up just a minute,” Deacon said, finally regaining control of his brain. At least partially.
Sole turned around slowly and reluctantly.
“I swear if you make fun of me for this, Deeks, I will fill your pillowcase with cayenne pepper while you sleep.”
“Whoa,” he said, raising his hands up in surrender. “That escalated way faster than it probably should have.”
Deacon reached down and hesitantly took Sole’s hand in his own.
“I just… are you actually saying you have feelings for me?” Deacon asked.
Sole’s cheeks flushed at his straightforward words. Deacon was never straightforward. Except for the time he’d told Sole about Barbara.
“Seriously, Deacon? You’re going to make me say it again?”
“You feel things for me?” Deacon repeated, trying to rephrase his question so that there was no confusion. He wasn’t doing a great job. “Not like the way Danse has feelings for his power armor, right?”
“I mean, I’ve seen the way he looks at his power armor. So, maybe,” Sole said, that ghost of a smile returning to her lips. “Seriously, can I go now? I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this humiliated. This is worse than the dream where I show up to school naked.”
Deacon’s eyes grew wide behind his sunglasses at this statement. “Okay, well I’d definitely like to hear more about that in a minute,” Deacon began. “But I just… I feel like I need to be absolutely certain. You, the perfect, beautiful, compassionate, smart, brave, sexy, savior of The Commonwealth, have romantic feelings towards a former-bigot, current-man-child, broken, immature, and hopelessly lost human?”
Realization seemed to dawn on Sole in that moment. At his words she could see the insecurity dripping off of him, cleverly disguised by jokes and a devil-may-care attitude.
He felt the shift between them. Felt the way she squeezed his hand with confidence now, knowing that his flirting wasn’t a joke. That his casual contact wasn’t all that casual.
“Well… the jury’s still out on whether or not you’re a human or a synth,” she whispered with a grin. “I still haven’t tried your recall code on you.”
With that, Sole pressed her lips to Deacon’s. He hadn’t kissed Sole many times, so he didn’t have much to compare it to, but this kiss definitely felt different. Her hesitation was gone. Her lips were confident as they moved over his, and he smiled at her touch.
“Can we go back to that whole, dream business you were talking about a second ago?” Deacon asked, but Sole instantly silenced him with another kiss, which he was just fine with.
Her hands roamed slowly up his chest, as if she were taking her time to enjoy the moment. Goosebumps erupted all over his skin at her touch.
As she gently bit his bottom lip, something he definitely hadn’t expected from her, he couldn’t stop himself from being too aware of their surroundings. He wanted to melt into the kiss. He wanted to thoroughly enjoy this moment. There weren’t any more questions between them. They both understood each other finally.
But they were also in Railroad HQ. Anti-fraternization Zone Number 1. They may have been in the escape tunnel, but agents regularly used it as an overflow for the headquarters.
“Hey,” Deacon said, pulling away from Sole regretfully. Confusion lined her features. “So… I want this. You have absolutely no idea how much,” he began. “But… we’re not really in the best place for… grown up bonding time.”
Sole smiled up at him. “Doesn’t that sort of make it more exciting?” she asked.
What? Where had this Sole come from?
Not waiting for his response, she kissed him again, harder this time. He tried to exercise restraint.
He failed.
Instead, he pushed Sole up against the wall, parting her lips with his tongue and pressing his body against hers. Every fiber of his being burned to be even closer to her, but even with this bold new Sole that stood before him, he knew she wasn’t that type. She’d want to take things somewhat slow. And he was fine with that.
Besides, after years of being completely touch-starved, any contact was like a revelation for Deacon.
His hands found her waist, softly kneading the smooth skin there as his mouth moved against hers. She made a little noise that encouraged him further, prompting him to trail his kisses down to her collarbone instead.
She grabbed his hair in a slightly painful manner, but he didn’t mind. Instead, he focused on the very important work he was doing on her neck while her hands pulled him more firmly against her.
“Deeks,” she said breathlessly, though he hardly heard her. His lips were too preoccupied with just how perfect her neck seemed to be. How had he not noticed before? “Dea-con,” she said again, still just as breathless.
This time he heard her. And he loved the way his name sounded when she was the one saying it. The way her breath hitched at the end of the first syllable when he’d nipped at her neck. That desperate quality to her voice.
“Mmm?” he mumbled, now slowly moving his lips back towards hers.
“You…” but her words were cut off by another kiss. “Said we should be careful here?” she finally managed, between kisses. “About Des?”
This was more like the reserved Sole he knew. But he was enjoying himself too much. He was finally kissing her. Really kissing her. Not just for fun. Not as part of a ruse for a mission. Not in some psychotic funhouse where he wasn’t sure if she really wanted to or if it was just some weird trick of the drugs in Kiddie Kingdom.
Being able to touch someone after so long was like an oasis in a desert. And she saw him. Really saw him. That was normally the last thing he wanted from someone. But it was all he wanted with Sole.
“Screw it,” Sole said between another kiss before she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him harder against her body, shuddering as they crashed together.
“I already told you, I left a backup in the escape tunnel,” Tinker Tom said from somewhere near the room’s entrance. “Now if y’all would give me two seconds, I could actually go get it.”
Sole instantly broke the kiss, looking wide-eyed at Deacon in a panic. He pressed a finger against her lips and grabbed her hand. Without a word, Deacon pulled her towards the exit at the far end of the room. It would lead them out into the cool night air of The Commonwealth.
As he held her hand and pulled her behind him, he couldn’t stop the embarrassing little smile that broke across his face. He heard Sole giggle behind him and it only added to the pure unadulterated joy that was beginning to permeate his very being.
She saw him. She saw all of him. And she still wanted him.
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Note: This fic makes me seem like I don’t like Danse. I actually love him! I just like to make fun of him :)
Also, if you enjoy my writing, I’m an author IRL. I’ve got 13 published books, but my favorite is Parrish. You should check it out if you like ghosts and love stories between weirdos.
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oohnoniall · 3 years
Text
The Lantsov Emerald [Kaz Brekker x OC] - Chapter Five (Anastasia)
Warnings: cursing, fantasy violence, family drama
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three 
Chapter Four
     Escaping the palace had been the easy part. Nikolai had shown her all the secret pathways when they were children. They had played games with them. She'd always wanted to be the fairy while he was a pirate or some sort of scoundrel. She had remembered those childhood days fondly throughout her journey to Kribirsk. If she hadn't, she would have been forced to think about the pain in her feet and the fact that she had been foolish enough to not beg her father's permission.
        At least then she would've had a carriage.
        Upon reaching the city, she had paid handsomely for fresh clothes and lodging. She had bathed, scrubbing her skin raw, and dressed in a plain sky blue gown. She had attempted to plait her hair by herself, although it appeared messy and uneven. Anastasia had never known just how hopeless she was until she had gone days without a bath or her lady maids.
        Nikolai would have been so disappointed in her.
        She was fresh-faced when she came into the bar. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes took in every single person in the crowded bar. She had thought enough to keep her traveling cloak. There was no telling what any of the patrons would do if they discovered that the princess of Ravka stood before them. 
        Years of dancing and lessons in how a princess should behave made her elegant. Even in the dusty, dirty bar, she strode forward as though she was on the dance floor. Each of her movements timed to the waltz of her heartbeat. She knew that her gait alone would be cause for attention. What simple maiden walked as though the ground was a dance floor? What young woman acted as though the world should bow before her?
        Anastasia had not been around enough women to know what the answer truly was.
        She felt eyes on her the entire time she ordered her drink. Kvas like Nikolai had drank with her before he had gone. She had gagged and refused to ever touch any again. The smell still made her wish to gag, but she had to keep up some appearance. She took the glass from the barkeep, thanking him with a small smile. Anastasia then turned her attention to the rest of the patrons of the bar.
        Most of them were her subjects. They looked hardened, as though life had done them no favors. They had lines along their features that she had not seen amongst the nobility. They looked as though dirt had encased them their entire lives. Her heart ached for them. Was there nothing that she could do? She didn't have the power to change things. That power lived with her brothers. She would never be Ravka's queen. 
        Her eyes landed on a small group in the corner of the bar. A boy with dark hair and a wild grin was playing with a revolver, his fingers fiddling on the hammer as though he was waiting for a reason to use it. A girl in deep, navy blue clothes sat beside him. Her features hidden by a hood and her body was nearly as still as the breath that had caught in Anastasia's throat.
        At the head of their table sat the guard from the ball. His eyes scanned the room, landing on her. She wondered how many times those eyes had stopped someone in their place. He seemed sharper than he had that night. The angles of his face were made of glass and were likely to cut her if she touched them. He was far too handsome for his own good.
        Without thought of her safety, Anastasia headed over to the three of them. She felt as though she was vibrating, excitement coursing through her veins as she neared the table. The man had lied to her. He had snuck into her home. She would find out why. That would be a good enough reason for the last-ditch effort for freedom.
        "Mr. Vanzin," she lowered her hood as she spoke, keeping her back to the other patrons. "I've been looking for you."
        An amused smile graced her features as she looked down at him. He played off the idea of being at ease, his spine straight and his eyes glancing at her as though she were nothing more than a mouse. But his hands told a different story. The black gloves he wore could not hide the way he tensed. His fingers clenched in a fist that she was certain he would not use on her. He wouldn't dare to create a scene.
        "Your Highness," he sounded bored as he regarded her. Anastasia was uncomfortably reminded of most of the people in the palace. "Had I known you were serious about seeing each other again, I wouldn't have left so quickly."
        The Zemeni boy offered her a chair beside him. She did not like the grin that stretched across his lips. It was as though he was one of the big cats her nanny had told her about at bedtime. She took the seat nonetheless. This would not be the first time that she had found herself in a den of lions. She dined with monsters each night. She had danced with several the night she had met Mr. Vanzin.
        "I'm afraid that I was curious about you, Mr. Vanzin," she crossed her ankles, every bit the picture of a perfect princess. Rasmus would be getting a beautiful bride. "After all, it's not every day that one manages to break into the Little Palace. Nor when a guard lies directly to my face."
        "I assure you," his gaze could have cut through ice, "nothing about that night was personal."
        "How could it be?" Anastasia's eyes sparkled with amusement. It was like she was verbally sparring with Niki once more. He danced around the questions he didn't want to answer, made her feel as though she would go mad half the time. "You didn't even tell me your real name."
        The air surrounding them seemed to grow thick with tension. The girl's hands had disappeared underneath the table while the boy was rubbing the handles of his revolvers. Anastasia would not allow them to frighten her. She would not be afraid and she would not back down.
        "You're clever, Princess," his tone was filled with venom. "You should be careful. That's a good way to get yourself killed."
        "Is that a threat, Mr. Vanzin?" 
        "Only advice," he told her before he drank the glass of kvas that had been in front of him. His eyes were dark as he stared at her. Heat flooded her cheeks but she did not let it phase her.
        Anastasia had been around princes and lordlings her entire life. She had been around beautiful men and around men who had assumed they were beautiful. She had never let them phase her. She would not let this conman get underneath her skin. Even if it did feel as though she were drowning when he looked at her like that.
        "You'll forgive me if I don't take it," she said, praying to the Saints that the dim of the bar was hiding her heated face. "Now, why don't you tell me who you are?"
        "So you can cart us off to a Ravkan prison?" It was a valid thought. Had she been any of the other members of her family, she more than likely would have called for help. But had she been anyone else in her family she wouldn't have had to run away from her future.
        Nikolai got to be the scholar, Vasily the king. All Anastasia was good for was a high bride price and to be her father's favorite pawn. Her future had never been her own. It never would be.
        "I assure you," she leaned forward, strands of her hair falling into her face. "I would not turn myself in just to give you up."
        For a split second, his left eyebrow rose and an expression of confusion crossed his face. It was gone before Anastasia could blink. He wore his mask well. Almost as well as those in her court. Maybe he was like her. A royal running away from a future that did not exist.
        "What do you mean?" The Zemeni boy piped up, his expression more confused than the other two. Although it was more amused than anything. "Turning yourself in just means you're in as much trouble as we are."
        "It would appear that way, wouldn't it?" She glanced at him, an amused smirk playing on her lips. "My family plans to ship me to Fjerda on the eve of my birthday. I'll be wed to Prince Rasmus the week after," she knew they didn't need an explanation. Nor had they asked for one. However, she needed to say something. Needed to tell someone how angry she was about the entire thing. 
        Nikolai was gone. This band of criminals seemed to be the next best thing.
        "You decided to leave your cushy palace and come after me as a result of your impending wedding?" His face remained impassive, something that she could not read. She hated that he wore the mask of a courtier. "I don't know if I'm impressed or insulted."
        "I hope it's impressed," Anastasia kept her eyes on his, not daring to back down from the demon in front of her. "At least enough to allow me to know your name."
        "It's Kaz," he did not tell her his surname. She supposed it did not matter in the long run. It wasn't as though she would be spending long with the man. He would more than likely give her up before she had a chance to find Nikolai. Before she had a chance to see the sea and feel the wind in her hair.
        Anastasia wished for freedom. A caged bird sang a lonely song. The song in her heart wanted more than that. It wanted to be among the greats, among the waltzes that she had adored from childhood. She wanted to live her life as she chose. If only so she could spend every second of each day surrounded by the notes, feeling the melodies in her heart and the beats in her heart. It was not a dream that any of Ravka's nobility would have understood.
        None but Nikolai.
        "Kaz," his name felt rough on her tongue. The syllables were brutal and cutting. Just like the man in front of her. "Perhaps we could make a deal."
        "What sort of deal would you offer?" His tone was indifferent but the spark in his eyes told her that he was at least intrigued.
        "I want passage. My brother is attending university in Kerch. I wish to see him a final time before I leave. I will keep the guards off of your back," she said, keeping any passion or hope from her voice. Vasily had once told her that negotiating meant selling your soul. That having too much enthusiasm would give her opponent the upper hand. Maybe he'd had a point.
        "We can avoid the guards without you, Princess," she hated the way he said it. Like it was an insult instead of her honorific. 
        "I can also offer payment," she said almost lazily. She slipped her hand into the pocket of her cloak, pulling out a ring that should not have been in her possession.
        She tossed it onto the table. The emerald sparkled in the light, the face perfect in every way. The Lantsov Emerald had been the stuff of legend when she was younger. As she had grown up, she had realized that it was nothing more than just a pretty gem. One that her parents prized above all others, but a gem nonetheless.
        It was supposed to go to Vasily's future bride, but Anastasia had found it unfair. She had stolen it from her mother's chest in the dead of night. Then, she had escaped using those secret passages. She had known the emerald would come in handy. Although she had assumed it would be used to prove she was the Princess of Ravka. Not payment.
        Kaz looked at the emerald for a second before he looked back at her. "I'm listening."
        "The Lantsov Emerald has been in my family for generations. It's Ravka's greatest treasure. I'm offering it to you for safe passage to and from Kerch. Also, protection while we're there. I'm willing to add three million kruge for you and your crew upon my safe return."
        She doubted that her parents had that much money. Or that they would be willing to pay that much for their only daughter's safety. She was ruining their plans. But she didn't care. They would ship her off without her ever seeing Nikolai again. They would sell her before she had the chance to find herself.
        Kaz looked at her, his gaze was unyielding and colder than the ice of Fjerda. She wondered if he had learned to be cold or if it had just come naturally to him. Was he a monster of a man? Or a man who had become a monster? There was a story there. Something that was hiding beyond his eyes, beyond the facade he painted on. The facade that she only hoped was a facade. She didn't know what she would have done had he admitted to it all being real.
        "Do you expect any of this to be easy, Princess?" He questioned, watching her as though she held a dagger in her hand instead of a valuable emerald.
        "No, quite the opposite actually." Anastasia was not an idiot. She knew they would have to cross the Fold, find passage on a ship, and prey to all the Saints that she was not followed by her parent's guards. She doubted they had even noticed her missing. The Sun Summoner disappeared at the perfect tie. She wouldn't have been able to slip away without the distraction.
        "We'll have to wait for a skiff," Kaz sat up straighter, almost as if to intimidate her. She matched his posture, not daring to back down for a single second. "No one knows how long that might take. A ship to Kerch will be another question entirely."
        "I assure you, Kaz," the name stabbed her throat, "I am prepared to stay as long as necessary. I will not go to Fjerda without seeing my brother."
        "Your brother will not be easy to find. Do you know how many rich sons have been sent to university?"
        "Nikolai will be quite easy for me to find." He didn't need to know that he would have an angry prince to deal with during all of this. Once Nikolai heard of her disappearance, he would be angry. He would claim she had no idea what she was doing. That she was being reckless and stubborn. That there had been no reason whatsoever for her to leave the safety of the palace. He would have told her that she was stupid for trusting a man who had broken into their home.
        She would take every second of his tongue lashing. As long as it kept her from never seeing him again.
        "I will have other business in Kerch," Kaz stated as he watched her. He was looking for any sign of weakness. She knew that he would try to betray her. He would see her as another piece on his chessboard. Just as everyone else had.
        She was no longer willing to be a game piece.
        "I'm quite aware of that," there was no reason for her to be the only job he'd take on. Even if she was offering more money than he'd probably ever see in his life. Money she did not know if she had. "Now, do we have a deal?"
        He did not offer her his hand, unlike what she had seen other men do with her brothers. She didn't know if she was supposed to be offended by the slight or not. Surely it had more to do with how he felt about the deal than anything to do with her. That or her nails were in a worse state than she had previously realized.
        "The deal is the deal, Princess." She wondered if she would ever hear anything else come from his lips. Would he call her by her honorific the entire time? Or would he loosen up? She didn't think it was important enough to complain about it. No matter how grating it was to hear him use it with nothing but venom in his tone.
        Anastasia picked the ring up from the table, giving him a kind smile. "You'll get this once I've been returned to Ravka, safe and sound."
        Kaz said nothing, just nodded his head as she stood from the table. At least he knew better than to fight her on when he would get his payment. It was probably for the benefit of her peace of mind. If she trusted him not to slit her throat, then maybe she would be less likely to put up a defense. She didn't know for sure. 
        "Enjoy your night," she told the three, giving them a curtsey. Her skirts flourished around her, almost making her wistful for a night of dancing underneath the stars. "I expect to see you here tomorrow."
        "Of course," he nodded his head once, looking at his crew instead of her. She wondered if they thought she was all talk. Surely a princess would run from danger instead of towards it. She should have been trapped in her golden cage with her jewels and her grand piano that she was not allowed to touch. They would assure she'd change her mind before entering the Fold.
        The look on his face told her everything that she needed to know. He may not have expected her to come after him, but he knew now to expect her to back out. To do anything other than what she had said. Surely he should have realized by now that Anastasia was a woman of her word. She'd found him. She'd stolen the greatest heirloom her family had and run away from home. She had done everything that no one would expect from her.
        The same things they would expect from Nikolai.
        The thought nearly blinded her as she stepped into the sunlight. Had she begun missing her brother so much that she had decided to act as though she were him? He would have told her that it was a waste of her own potential. He would blame himself for making her a mirror of him. It would be bad enough to have one of them roaming the streets of Ravka. They didn't need two.
        But she knew that she was not like her brother. She didn't see the world as one big game that she had to win. She just wanted to dance, to feel the music filling her veins and speaking in it's beautiful secret language to her soul. She knew it was a silly wish, one that she would never truly get to experience. She'd have to marry a man she didn't love. She would have to dance only when it was appropriate. Anastasia would lock herself up for her country. 
        She just needed a chance to dance before she did so. 
        Kerch may have been known for it's criminal underbelly, but it was the only safe place for her. She would be far from whatever trouble the Sun Summoner was bringing. She would be able to find Nikolai. Anastasia would be able to yell at him for hours at a time for not writing her back as much as he should. She would be free for the first time in her life.
        As long as she did not get her throat cut or held for a ransom it should be perfectly safe. 
        Anastasia headed back to her room. It was not safe to dawdle on street corners. She had no idea if her parents had discovered that she was missing. She had no idea if anyone would be out looking for her. Vasily wouldn't be. He had too much to do, too much to prepare for. The time for him to take the throne was almost upon them. 
        He had less time for his little sister than normal. She felt as though Nikolai had abandoned her. Perhaps this unwanted isolation had been the truth behind her desperate need to flee. Perhaps knowing that she was alone, and would be for the rest of her miserable life, had been what drove her to running as far as she could from the walls of her gilded cage.
        She slipped up the creaky stairs, using the gentle creaks as though they were a melody. She craved music. Craved hearing the waltzes, the symphonies. She needed it as though it was oxygen. She needed to hear every beat, feel every note. Alas, her life would not go in that direction. She would sooner end up hidden behind blocks of ice than in a symphony hall. Especially after what she had done.
        As the princess entered the room she had rented, she did not notice a figure standing silently in the corner. 
        She took off her cloak, tossing it down on a small chair in the corner of the room. Her back was to the silent woman, never once noticing her as she began to freshen up. The day was still long, the sun having only just hit the middle of the sky. She planned on actually doing something besides make shady deals in the back of a pub. 
        Anastasia lifted her face, water dripping from her eyelashes. She caught sight of the woman in the mirror, her spine instantly stiffening.
        "Your Highness," her voice was soft as she stepped out from the shadows. "We've a lot to discuss."
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amintyworld · 3 years
Text
Falling In Love With You - Dream SMP Drabble
Prompt: DSMP Valentines Fanweek: 8th: Food/Music
A/N: Hey so if you haven’t been aware there’s a fanweek going on for Dream SMP that involves Valentines Day prompts, and I’ve always wanted to participate in one of these, so I’m gonna try to post drabbles when I can this week. ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ by Elvis Presley. Today we’ve got some Mermaid!Sally, so I hope you enjoy! - Minty
Tagging: @dsmp-fanweeks
TW: mention of vomiting, mention of miscarriage, memory loss, mention of death.
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Wise men say 
Only fools rush in
But I can’t help falling in love with you
Sally lugged the passed out man onto the beach, checking to see thankfully he was still breathing. She would admit it was a shock to her when a human sank deep into her part of the ocean and for some reason or other did not seem to want to swim up. At first, the mermaid considered maybe just letting the human drown - after all, humans were always after her scales for their strange potions and often wanted to kidnap her anyway. Sweet revenge.
But her heart didn’t want revenge, instead, it urged her to show him mercy and be kind, and maybe in return, he’d be the same. Now, changing into her human form as her necklace flashed around her neck, she looked down at the human, watching him slowly breathe in and out, his dark brown locks messed and halfway covering his right eye. When suddenly his eyes snapped open as he looked around, they made eye contact as they both let out a loud scream, scrambling for weapons. “What.. what are you?!”
“Gee, a thanks would be nice for saving your life.”
“Saving my… where’s Tommy and Tubbo?!” The human said, looking around desperately for the two people he was asking for.
“Who?”
“My brothers, they were with me when we got cornered and had to jump. Where are they?” He asked, panicked.
“If they weren’t with you they must be upstream. They’re probably looking for you, come on.” She huffed, throwing down the rock she used as a makeshift weapon and walking over to hold her hand out and help the man to his feet. He hesitated before taking hers, both just staring into each other’s eyes for a moment before she began to walk past with a huff.
“Thank you.”
Sally turned around, surprised to hear the human say that as she absentmindedly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Uh… thanks.” She said, a smile spreading across her lips.
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Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can’t help falling in love with you?
“Alright Wilby, you’re going down,” Sally smirked as she adjusted her grip on the wooden sparring sword, her long hair up in a ponytail. Wilbur, on the other hand, smirked confidently. 
“Oh really? You underestimate my power, young padawan.” They both chuckled a bit at the joke before rushing forward, swords clashing together. Wilbur pushed against Sally’s sword as she lost balance and stumbled backward, Wilbur rushed to pin her to the floor before she jumped, just missing his strike and holding her wooden sword above her head to bring it down in a downward strike. Wilbur moved back just in time to dodge as he dashed forward, pinning her against a tree. “It’s no use - you’re a trapped sardine, or salmon more like.” He chuckled as she struggled against his grip, her sword on the ground.
Just a few feet away in some bushes, two teenage boys watched intently. “What are they doing?”
“Sparring, duh.”
“Why is she blushing then?”
“Huh…?”
Sally bit her lip as she weighed her options, a smirk appearing on her lips. “I know there’s only one way out of this one, Wilby. One way you’ll never resist.”
“Oh yeah, what’s-?” Sally pushed her lips against Wilbur’s, making him weak in the knees as sally effortlessly tossed his sword to the ground as well, focusing on the kiss before Wilbur grabbed her wrists and pinned them up against the tree trunk. “That’s cheating!”
“Yeah, I’d like to see the rulebook!”
Back in the bushes, Tubbo’s eyes lit up. “I know what this is: They’re flirting.”
“What’s flirting?”
“I think it’s when you try to make someone blush. They’re blushing because they’re sick. Philza told me.”
“Sick?”
“Yeah, lovesick. I think it’s like the flu.”
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“Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be.”
Wilbur’s voice echoed through the dusk as Sally walked through the candlelit path, hearing Wilbur’s singing. Tubbo had passed her a note that said to meet Wilbur at the mountain before the messenger promptly jumped into the bushes humming the Mission Impossible theme. Walking up the mountain, the wind whipped her long hair around as Sally pulled her sweater closer to herself to get warmer. What in the world did Wilbur want with her all the way up here?
As she turned the corner she felt like she couldn’t breathe, as her world stopped and slowed. There Wilbur sat in what looked to be a worn grey suit, playing his guitar with a white lily, her favorite, wedged tightly in between the strings. Seeing her, he smiled, moving closer and leaning his guitar against the tree as he freed the lily, brushing her hair back behind her ear and safely tucking the lily in her hair. Her breaths caught in her throat as his hand moved to cup her cheek. “You look beautiful.”
“I-” Sally felt her cheeks heat up at the comment as she stammered, trying to change the topic. “You sent for me?”
“I had something to ask you, yes,” Wilbur said, lightly taking her hand in his as he leads her toward the edge where he was to see the stars begin to blink into existence. Wilbur took a deep breath. “We’ve been dating for a while now, and I was wondering… do you want to be my girlfriend?”
“Yes… I… nothing would make me happier than being with you, Wilby.”
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Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I can’t help falling in love with you
“Wilbur, I’m pregnant,” Sally admitted, her hand still not letting his move from her belly. “It’s yours, Wilby.”
Wilbur brushed his hands through Sally’s hair, moving to cup her cheek, eyes darting back and forth. “Pregnant…?” He said, hopeful. It was their third day in Dream SMP - they’d been together for so long and had always wanted a family, but it never seemed to work no matter what they did. It seemed almost impossible to hear those words out of Sally’s mouth because for a long time Wilbur thought he’d never hear them. But here they were.
“We’re having a baby, Wilbur.” Sally smiled, leaning in against Wilbur’s chest and snugly putting her head between his neck and shoulder, wanting to be as close to him as possible. “You’re gonna be a Dad…”
Wilbur felt tears of joy go down his cheeks as he laughed softly, pulling Sally closer to rest her body against his fully, cuddling her close. His hands rubbed gently on her stomach, and he leaned up to kiss her softly on the neck. Their other hands interlocked tightly. “How… how long?”
“Three months. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t a fluke before I told you.”
“I’m gonna be a Dad…” Wilbur sighed, kissing Sally’s cheek softly. “You’re gonna be a Momma.”
“I know. I didn’t believe it when I found out either. I was worried they’d… but they didn’t. They’re still here.”
“My little champion, my little warrior…” Wilbur smiled, tears going down his cheeks as he looked down at Sally’s stomach. “Don’t stop fighting now, okay? You’ve got so many people who’ve been waiting so long to finally meet you. I can’t wait to meet you.”
“I love you, Wilby.” Sally smiled, content. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Sally.” Wilbur breathed, holding his girlfriend close and not prepared to let her go anytime soon.
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Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be.
“Fine, I’ll go with you. Just leave the baby, please.”
“A wise decision. The Queen will be pleased to hear of your arrival back into the Pod.”
“You’ll leave the baby alone, and the humans?”
“Humans?” The guard with a necklace like hers smirked, holding back a laugh. “Why would we possibly care about humans?”
Sally held her baby close one last time as she ran her fingers through the small child’s fur. She still hadn’t even opened her eyes yet. She’ll have no idea what her own mother even looks like. She moved to kiss her daughter on the forehead as her black nose sniffed intently at her scent, not knowing it would be the last time she’d smell it. Her daughter, her little miracle. “I love you, don’t forget your mother loves you.” Carefully, she set the basket in the pond and with a little magic from her necklace, moved the water to drift the baby down a small river toward L’manburg. They’d all be safe, that’s all that matters now.
“Come on, Salaria. The Queen is awaiting your presence.”
“Of… of course.” Sally turned with a sigh as she sorrowfully followed her captor through the trees and away from her home. Her real home.
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“Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I can’t help falling in love with you.”
Sally sat near the water with Ghostbur, her heart shattered seeing him but was happy that she was able to, at least one last time. She sat with her arms crossed on the beach, her tail submerged in the water, her necklace gone. As punishment for ‘abandoning’ the Pod, she was no longer able to shift like the others and able to travel to the surface again. Her necklace was smashed, along with her hopes of ever seeing her real family ever again. At least now she could properly say goodbye to him, maybe even apologize. She slowly finished the song as Ghostbur continued to strum, listening intently.
“For I can’t help falling in love with you.”
“I… sang this for you?”
“All the time back in the day. You were very romantic.” Sally reassured Ghostbur. “We’d sing it together sometimes, other times you just strummed it on your guitar. It’s our song. Don’t you remember?”
“No, I…” A dark blue tear slid down the ghost’s cheek. “I don’t. I really want to, though. I want to remember you. I want to remember how it felt to love you, I’m really trying, but… but I can’t.”
Slowly, as Ghostbur sobbed Sally’s hand found its way into the ghost’s. “It’s okay. One day you’ll remember, I know you will. Whenever you do, I’ll be waiting right here for you. I love you, Ghostbur.” Sally said, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. “I love you no matter what.”
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samstree · 3 years
Text
You are too well tangled in my soul (4/5)
In which Geralt tries to apologize, Jaskier has some unexpected encounters and Roach is the best.
(love confession, kaer morhen, 6.1k, no warnings)
read on AO3.
War breaks out.
Nilfgaard mercilessly scorches the continent, and Jaskier survives. The next time he sees Geralt, there’s a lost princess in tow.
The girl has pale blonde hair, just as Jaskier remembers from when he performed at her birthdays. Her green eyes are big and wary, staring at the bard from behind Geralt’s armored bulk.
Jaskier wouldn’t blame her, from what he learned from his encounters with Nilfgaard the girl must have been through hell. And from what he heard about Cintra, well, she has more demons to run from other than the evil army. She looks exhausted too, hair dirty and eyes alert, studying Jaskier intensely.
“You were at my birthday. You sang the songs.” The princess’s crisp voice breaks the silence.
“Yes, Princess Cirilla. I was at three of your birthdays, though you were too young to remember the first two.” he bows. “Jaskier the bard, at your service.”
She softens, nodding at Jaskier’s gesture. Her lips tug upward.
“Just Ciri.”
“Ciri, then.” Jaskier smiles at her.
“I loved your singing. It was beautiful.” she bites her lips, pausing, before putting her arm around the witcher’s. “Geralt only said we were looking for a friend. I didn’t know it was you.”
The mention of the name snaps Jaskier’s attention back to the witcher, who remains motionless and silent. This entire time, Geralt has been staring at Jaskier’s face, like he could blink and the bard would disappear. Jaskier stares back, and the bruise in his chest throbs anew.
“A friend, uh?” he feigns nonchalance and fails, suddenly his throat feeling dry. “Now you use the word, after all these years. Thought you’d keep insisting on not being my friend until the end of time. Thought I gave you life’s blessing –”
“Jaskier,” Geralt exhales. The word is barely a whisper, but it’s enough to stop the bard from landing a blow. The witcher doesn’t seem to have more words, despite continuing to look at Jaskier with remorseful sorrow.
Good. The pettiest part of Jaskier thrills at his regret, after all he’s the one who spewed all the venom on top of that mountain.
But one look at Geralt, Jaskier realized that he is just as tired and disheveled as the girl, if not more so. Being on the run from Nilfgaard is no fun, he learned that from personal experience.
Knowing Geralt, he is going to neglect his needs in favor of Ciri’s, gritting his teeth through everything. Jaskier finds himself searching all over him for injuries, familiar worry bubbling of its own volition.
Jaskier cannot even stay mad at him for long. Damn him.
“Why are you looking for me then?” he asks.
“I –” Geralt pauses. “Nilfgaard is looking for us. Hunting us. They want something, and they are willing to raise armies to chase us across the Continent.”
He tightens his hold on Ciri. The young princess looks away with a haunted expression.
“And they are also trying to hunt down whoever might know your location. They’ll torture them for the information.” Jaskier adds. His two near escapes are too vivid in his mind. The first time he only got away by the skin of his teeth. It turns out he’s not so bad with a dagger when faced with two Nilfgaardian footsoldiers.
As for the second time, he may have had help from an old friend. Not that Yennefer would be thrilled if he ever called her that. The story of his life, he thinks, it seems to be.
Realization dawns in Geralt’s eyes. “You already know they are looking for you. Are you – did they get to you, Jaskier?”
“Get to me? No,” Jaskier chuckles tightly. “I wouldn’t be standing here, would I? Your secrets are safe, Geralt. Not that I knew your whereabouts for the past year. They didn’t get anything from me, if that’s your worry.”
“No. Fuck –” Geralt curses under his breath, frustrated. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
Jaskier challenges him, raising an eyebrow. Geralt struggles for words and starts to look like his usual brooding self again. It is Ciri who speaks up.
“Come to Kaer Morhen with us. It’s the safest place on the Continent,” the girl says.
Jaskier breathes, stunned. Of course, it makes sense for them to go. It is a home for Geralt. He remembers the first time Geralt told him about the witcher keep, in that greenhouse, a lifetime ago. To him, it is as much of a myth now as it was back then.
“You are sweet, Ciri. But I don’t think Geralt would want that.”
There’s a bitter tang in those words. Ciri scrunches up her brows, confused. “But he’s the one who wanted –”
“What Ciri meant,” Geralt interrupts, “was that Nilfgaard is still out there looking for us. When they can’t, they’ll come for you again.” Desperation bleeds into his tone. Or is it annoyance? “Come with us, Jask. You’ll be safe in Kaer Morhen.”
“I can take care of myself.” Jaskier’s resolution is swaying despite his pride.
“Jaskier…”
“Geralt.” He stays emotionless, waiting for the Witcher’s reasoning, but it doesn’t come.
It is the lost Cintran princess who decides for Jaskier.
“Can you just come with us?” her voice is uncertain, and it tugs at Jaskier’s heart. “Please?”
Jaskier looks into her green eyes and only sees the loss she endured. The fall of Cintra reached Jaskier like a punch in the gut. He thought Geralt’s Child Surprise – the bright-eyed little girl who danced to his songs – was lost with it, so when those soldiers started questioning him about her escape, Jaskier only felt relief. Now, the lone wolf stands protectively next to the lost lion cub.
Jaskier is glad Geralt went to find her, truly.
He finds himself nodding, and Ciri brightens up ever so slightly.
  “So, you are the boy?”
The dark-haired witcher says upon meeting Jaskier for the first time at the gate of Kaer Morhen when Geralt and Ciri have gone to stable the horse. He’s the same height and build as Geralt, only his shoulders are just a bit wider. Unlike Geralt, his hair is a muddy brown, and three nasty scars run down the right side of his cheek, making him look almost grotesque.
“Pardon?”
“The boy Geralt kept seeing.” His eyes fix on Jaskier with amusement, the golden color eerily identical to Geralt’s.
“Oh, I didn’t know anyone else –” Jaskier is rather surprised that another witcher knows about Geralt’s condition. “Yes, that’s me. But I’m hardly a boy anymore.” He extends a hand. “Jaskier.”
“Eskel.” The Witcher takes it with a friendly smile. Huh, not all of them are broody and rude.
“So you know about our…” Jaskier trails off for lack of a descriptor. Their bond? Their relationship? They certainly are not in one.
“Not much. If you’ve known my brother for this long, you’d know how little he talks.” Eskel offers an understanding pat on Jaskier’s back. “He just came back here one year and couldn’t shut up about an annoying bard. Then he came back another year. Disappeared in the middle of the day, and scared the shit out of us. We’d thought he was cursed out of existence by some angry mage. When he came back, out of thin air too, he looked like he’d seen a ghost.”
“Not a ghost.”
“Not a ghost, only the same bard. As a boy.”
It makes sense, according to however little they know about the mechanism of it. Wintering at the witcher keep is the longest Geralt is away from the bard, so destiny has to drag him to Lettenhove. It would be hard to sail away from your anchor.
“Guess I’m too much of a nuisance. He can’t escape me even here, in his own home.”
“He never –” Eskel seems surprised at Jaskier’s remark. “I might need to have words with my brother, bard. And he was only upset because he worried for your safety.”
He smiles tightly. “It’s kind of you to say, Eskel. Though you don’t need to protect my feelings. I understand now. I would take myself off of his hands if I could.”
Too bad he can’t. Even if the invasion blows over, destiny would still work against Geralt’s attempt at free will at every opportunity.
He ignores Eskel’s inquisitive eyes as they stroll into the stone castle when Geralt and Ciri rejoin them.
  Geralt is trying to apologize.
He knows by the way Geralt follows him outside, and onto the trail behind the keep, somehow with guilt written all over his posture. It’s a nice place for a walk and for Jaskier to clear his head and compose under the pine trees.
Geralt has tried several times in the past few days. Every time they are left alone, the witcher assumes an expectant look on his face and begins to find words. Every time Jaskier interrupts him before it starts, making up whatever poor excuses he can find. Every time Geralt swallows and lets him go. He puts on a stoic face but Jaskier always sees the disappointed droop in those amber eyes that anyone else would have missed.
Jaskier can’t avoid it anymore, between the fresh smell of pine – his favorite scent in the world – and the sky, there’s nowhere to hide, so he stops to face it.
“Just say whatever you want to say,” he lets out a sigh.
“I’m sorry,” Geralt blurts out without a beat. “I never should have said what I said. I didn’t mean any of it, Jask. I was upset and I took it out on you. It wasn’t fair.”
Jaskier blinks.
“No, it wasn’t.”
“You’ve followed me for twenty years. You’ve known me for even longer. Fuck, Jaskier. Your whole life, you’ve known me, and yet you chose to stay.”
“I did,” he whispers, “but you tried to push me away, like everything else destiny forced upon you.”
The hurt in those golden eyes is unbearable to watch, so Jaskier averts the burn of his gaze to take a deep breath. The smell of pine fills his lungs, crisp and soothing.
“It was a mistake. I know that now, Jaskier.” The contrite is unmistakable. Geralt’s gravelly voice is as pained as Jaskier feels. From the corner of his eyes, Jaskier notices Geralt reach into his pocket for something. It is a small notebook, leather-bound and abused at the edges.
It’s his notebook.
It’s their notebook.
“I’ve kept records of everything, just like you did.” he holds out the book for Jaskier to take. “I’ve seen the future, you –”
“No!” Jaskier steps away as if the book might burn him. “You can’t use it against me, Geralt. You think I’ve never seen the future? I know where we are going. I know I’ll still choose you, because how can I not?” his voice breaks at the possibility of him leaving Geralt by choice. “But it doesn’t make it alright. I can’t just forgive you and pretend we are fine, just because the future says we should be.”
Geralt lowers his hand and the book with it. “I meant that…I understand you now. Why you would stand by me when no one else does, when it’s so much easier to just leave.”
“And how exactly did you arrive at this grand revelation?”
Geralt softens, his lips quick upward ever so slightly. “I saw you. In a little cottage by the sea, years from now, happy.”
Jaskier’s breath hitches. He’s so used to knowing all different versions of Geralt, so used to having the upper hand in this little dance, that the idea of his own future laid out like this makes him queasy.
“You told me – or will tell me, rather – why you spent your entire life choosing me when I’ve done nothing but push you away.” Geralt’s voice breaks at the obvious regret in it.
Because I love you, Jaskier thinks. I’ve loved you for too long.
He’s become so familiar with the notion it’s as easy as breathing.
“What do you want, then?”
“A chance. To prove myself again,” Geralt pleads. “To prove myself a worthy companion to you. Because you are my friend, my best friend. You have been since you were so young and I was just blind to it. Jaskier, I –”
I love you.
“– I choose you too. If you’ll let me show you. For the rest of my life, I’ll prove it to you every day, because I –”
I love you.
“– I love you.”
The words come out soft and reverent, the whisper so careful as if to avoid the birds overhearing him. Geralt stills after the confession, his eyes fixed on Jaskier in earnest.
For a moment Jaskier believes the declaration an echo of his imagination, conjured up from years of longing and heartbreak. But when he holds his breath and looks into Geralt’s resolved eyes, the truth washes over him like a cool shower on an autumn morning.
Deep in those ember eyes is the same affection he’s seen many times, during those too-short visits from his older Geralt, in the teasing smirks he carried at the corner of his mouth, or in the sweetness hidden behind his kiss, under a cold Cintran sky and addled by too much ale. It’s in the way Geralt takes him apart with deft fingers and gentle touches, over and over again throughout the years.
It’s the same love that propelled Geralt to ask for his trust and his faith when this moment comes.
“You love me.” Jaskier muses.
“I do. I have… for a while now.” Geralt’s breath forms in the crisp mountain air. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way, Jask. But please believe me when I say it. I love you. It’s the truest feeling I’ve ever felt in my life. Without any djinn magic, or destiny deciding what’s best. Please, at least have this much faith in me.”
After all this time Geralt still thinks it’s possible for Jaskier to not love him back.
I’m going to make mistakes, the older Geralt once said, don’t lose faith in me.
He made a promise after all.
“Okay,” Jaskeir exhales.
“Okay?”
When he looks into the amber glow again Geralt looks expectant.
“Okay,” Jaskier repeats, “You have it. A chance for us to try again, if you want it to go back to… before.”
Geralt exhales like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. “It won’t be like before. I’ll do better, I give you my word.”
The sincerity is palpable in Geralt’s expression. The words come out so solemn and he’s clenched his jaw tightly. It looks like he just might break something if Jaskier doesn’t give him an out.
A smiles tugs at the corner of Jaskier’s mouth. And they say he’s the dramatic one.
“Oh, relax, you big oaf, before you hurt yourself. Of course I believe in you. It might be the most words I’ve ever heard from you. Didn’t think it was possible.”
He pats Geralt on the arm, before resting his hand there and squeezes. If Geralt leans into the touch, he doesn’t mention it.
“You,” Jaskeir continues, “You are forgiven, Geralt. I’ve always known I’d forgive you. You are not the only one who’s seen the future. Even if fate didn’t tell me to, I would still know you to be the best man I’ve ever laid eyes on, and I would choose to stay by your side every time.”
The shuddering breath that chokes out Geralt’s throat is almost like a sob. Rumors say witchers can’t cry, but Jaskier learned it not to be true long ago, and he can see how much Geralt is affected right now.
He reaches out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Geralt’s ear before resting his hand on the spill of silver on his shoulder, and revels in the familiar feeling of silky hair against his palm.
“As for the other thing.” Jaskier thinks back on Geralt’s heartfelt confession, not sure if he has truly wrapped his head around it. “I think… I’ll need some time before we can do something about it.”
Geralt nods, his warm hand coming up to capture Jaskier’s wrist in a loose grip, the pad of his thumb stroking slightly again. Jaskier’s chest warms at the motion.
“Take all the time you need, Jask. I’ll be right here.”
  They spend the winter in the keep, in this safe bubble they created.
Ciri’s progress is obvious even to Jaskier’s untrained eyes. Her stance becomes more confident every day, her moves faster. The clanking of blunt swords echoes above the training ground as Jaskier watches from a bench in the corner, plucking his lute absent-mindedly.
The lion cub is starting to look like her grandmother, with her hair tied back and the sword cutting through the air with force.
The rise in confidence is doing her wonders. Her smile is becoming more often as winter settles in. The first time Ciri laughed out loud at the usual tomfoolery Lambert starts at dinner table, all four witchers and Jaskier stopped to stare at her for a brief moment before joining in.
Later that night, Geralt got emotional when it was just him and Jaskier, cleaning up in the kitchen.
“It’s just… it’s the first time I’ve heard her laugh.” Geralt’s throat bobbles when he says, and Jaskier’s heart breaks for them both, so he takes the plates from the Witcher’s hands and pulls him in for a hug, one that’s a little too tight.
In the courtyard, flurries of snow fall steadily as Ciri disarms Geralt with a twist of her wrist, the heavier sword flying off to the side. She squeaks in excitement.
“Take that, old man!”
Geralt goes to collect his blunt weapon, his chuckle rumbling deep in his chest. “You only did it because I let you, Ciri. Your enemies are not gonna let you disarm them for practice.”
Her pride morphs into a slight pout before it’s tucked away by her regal stance. They’ll make a warrior princess out of her after all.
“You just can’t let me have this one, can you?”
“Yeah, old man,” Jaskier chimes in. “Just admit your loss. I’m sure the White Wolf should know when he’s beaten.”
From Geralt’s glare, Jaskier knows he’s enjoying this too much, but he just can’t get the proud grin off of his face. Ciri sends him a smug smile when she puts away her weapon and gears.
From a distance, Lambert and Eskel are sheathing their training swords as well when Jaskier notices the snow falling harder by the minute, sending a shiver through his body despite the heavy coat wrapped around him. Ugh, his fingers are numb now.
“All right?” Geralt is all packed up, cheeks flushed from the exercise. He’s only wearing a simple tunic and yet it looks like the cold does not affect him at all. Ridiculous witcher biology.
Mischief lights up in Jaskier’s mind when he puts down the lute and walks towards Geralt, before putting his freezing palms flush against the Witcher’s neck.
“Jaskier, what – Fuck!”
He expects Geralt’s usual grunts and retaliation at the blatant offense. Roughhousing has never been a stranger to them, especially now that they are at ease in their friendship again.
What he does not expect is the concern that appears in Geralt’s eyes after a moment of shock and the warm hands that gently cover his.
“Oh Jask, you are freezing.” Geralt’s brows furrow in seriousness, calloused fingers starting to rub the back of Jaskier’s hands in a slow rhythm. Now that he notices, the heat radiating off of Geralt’s skin is lovely, tingling the numbness in his rigid hands and sending a different kind of shiver down his spine. “Gods, you might get frostbite like this. Don’t you have gloves?”
“Er – that’s not…” Jaskier stammers, suddenly aware of their closeness and the lack of everyone else on the training ground. Thank fuck they’ve all gone inside before his foolish prank. “I – I lost them…?”
Now Jaskier is the one blushing, but Geralt pays no mind to his embarrassment and continues to rub heat back into his exposed skin.
“I’ll make you new ones then. Can’t let a lutist lose his fingers,” Geralt murmurs.
The urge to kiss this sweet man is overwhelming, Jaskier has to look away from the beautiful golden yellow to calm his fluttering heart. It’d be too soon. He’s still raw from what went down in the past year.
Thankfully Ciri calls for them to get inside before they freeze over. Jaskier pulls away to answer her, immediately feeling empty without the warm touch. Now he’ll settle for walking to the great hall where a hearth is lit with Geralt by his side.
A week later, Jaskier finds a pair of newly knitted gloves on his bed. They are made with Geralt’s favorite wool – a thick, soft material – and fingerless so he can play. When he slips them on, the urge to track Geralt down in the keep and kiss him all over fills him again.
  Roach bites down on the second apple Jaskier offers her and munches gracelessly.
Jaskier pats her mane while she tries to chew off the fringe on his doublet. Now that he’s reunited with her master, Jaskier can spoil the mare as much as he wants. Not that anyone objected before. The mare clearly has a soft spot for the bard, Geralt is just too stubborn to admit it.
He is just saying goodbye to Roach when the familiar swoosh of magic startles him.
Destiny’s pull rarely works when they are together, so much so that Jaskier has almost forgotten about it for the months he’s within Kaer Morhen’s walls. On top of that, what greets him is not the bulk of a witcher.
Standing by the stalls is a scared little boy.
Jaskier is terrible with guessing children’s age, but this boy is definitely no more than six or seven, wearing plain summer clothes and holding a small bucket for dear life. The boy has a head full of dark curly hair and tears streaking down his cheeks. His brown eyes are wide and full of terror.
“Ma? Where are you?” he calls out, voice horse from crying.
Jaskier is stuck where he stands, too shocked to react. Somewhere next to him, Roach snorts nervously at the volume of the child’s cry.
Geralt once told him how he ended up in Vesemir’s care, when both of them had too much to drink on the eve of Belleteyn many years ago. They only meant to celebrate a hunt well done and Jaskier’s successful performance at the festival, but the drinks kept coming on the courtesy of the pub owner. Before Jaskier knew it, the Witcher was too gone and started to get melancholic in his inebriation.
For once in their lives, Jaskier was the one with some sanity left and promptly put Geralt back to their shared bed.
With the sound of people singing and dancing around bonfires in the distance, Geralt curled into himself, looking uncharacteristically small, and told Jaskier the last time he saw his mother.
“I stood there for so long, by the road. But she was gone,” Geralt slurred the words. “I kept waiting for her…”
Those words, combined with too much ale, broke Jaskier into a million pieces.
“It was so long ago. I don’t even remember what she looks like, the color of her eyes. Or my eyes, before…What was the color of my eyes?”
Jaskier had no answer.
That night, he listened as Geralt drifted off, thinking the witcher would forget about the confession come morning. Or was it Geralt who thought Jaskier never remembered? No matter what reason, Geralt never talked about it again and Jaskier respected that.
And here Geralt is, no more than seven, on what is probably the worst day of his life – having just been abandoned by his mother by the side of the road. He looks confused and cried-out, still clinging to the bucket so hard that his tiny knuckles are turning white.
His eyes are brown.
That’s all Jaskier can think.
The boy’s tears keep falling, and whatever heartbreak Jaskier felt on the night of Belleteyn, it’s not a match for now.
“Hey, it’s all right,” Jaskier shushes as gently as possible. He lowers himself in front of the boy, keeping the movement slow just to not upset him further. “It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Where is my ma?” young Geralt sniffles, and Jaskier doesn’t know how to answer that. The layers he’s wearing clearly cannot hold out the cold in the dead of winter. The boy is shivering.
“I’m sorry I don’t know where she is. But, here, put this on.” Jaskier shrugs off his coat and wraps it around the boy’s small frame, half of it pooling on the ground. He tries to coax the bucket out of the boy’s hands but he grips tighter.
“Where is she? Where did you take me?” the boy demands in panic.
“I promise I haven’t taken you anywhere, okay? Ger –” Jaskier catches himself. He’s a complete stranger to the child. He shouldn’t know him. “It’s too cold out here. We can go inside and wait for her there. Is that all right?”
The boy shakes his head. “Ma’s coming back to find me. I need to stay.”
“Okay, okay.” Jaskier tries not to panic, but he feels so helpless. He doesn’t even know where to put his hands so he tightens the coat around the boy’s shoulders. “How about this, I’ll find some help for us. Maybe someone from that castle can help. I don’t even know what would happen if they see you like this but…what other option do we have, eh?”
Before he can even get up, Jaskier finds the boy dropping the bucket and clinging to the sleeve of his doublet, the water spilling everywhere.
“No, don’t leave,” the boy says weakly, “Please.”
The boy’s chubby cheeks are streaked with tears, turning red in the mountain air. Jaskier wipes the wetness away with the pad of his thumb, his other arm still in the boy’s grip.
“All right. I won’t leave then, I promise.” Jaskier does his best to smile reassuringly. The ache in his chest makes it difficult but against all odds, it works. The young boy calms down just a little.
“I’ll stay with you, all right? But for now… do you want to make some new friends?”
Jaskier introduces the child to Roach, and he gets less afraid as soon as he sees the horse and reaches out to pet her. With their ridiculous height difference, it looks almost comical. The mare, ever the sweetheart, lowers her head as if she senses something familiar in the boy. She nuzzles his little hand and his eyes light up.
No matter how young, it seems Geralt will always enjoy Roach’s company above anyone else’s. Jaskier watches in wonder at the exchange before him. The boy’s distress dissipates gradually as the mare licks him and showers him in affection.
“Can I keep her?” the child giggles as Roach chews on his hair.
Jaskier smiles, “Sadly no, but maybe you’ll see her again. Who knows.”
All his life, Jaskier has known Geralt as the powerful witcher, his friend and protector. But right here, he’s just another ordinary child who loves giant animals. Only his future holds something no child should ever have to endure.
Jaskier wishes life wouldn’t have to burden this gentle boy, harden him into the warrior that he is now. This moment could last forever for all he cares, so this young boy wouldn’t need to go back to face the path ahead.
He doesn’t know how long they have here, undisturbed by the four witchers inside the keep, or the magic pulling them apart.
“Can I tell you something?” Jaskier says as the child runs his fingers through Roach’s mane. He turns around to look at the bard curiously with his beautiful brown eyes. “Do you know you’re a very good boy? And when you grow up, you’ll become a very good person.”
“Ma says I should do good.”
“She’s right.”
“And doing good is hard… sometimes.”
Jaskier swallows the lump in his throat. “That too. Life is difficult, unfair even. But you are strong, stronger than you’ll ever believe. Remember this, and you’ll find a way.”
“I’m strong?” the boy looks at Jaskier expectantly. His tiny frame is drowned in Jaskier’s coat.
“The strongest.” the bard nods.
“Like a knight?”
“Better than a knight.”
The smile that lights up the boy’s rosy cheeks is the most wonderful thing Jaskier has ever seen, better than the northern lights on these mountains. But their moment seems to have come to an end.
The swoosh of magic Jaskier knows by heart brushes by his ear, and Roach suddenly brays anxiously in her stall.
“I feel weird.” The panic returns to the boy’s voice.
“It’s okay. It means we have to say goodbye.”
“Are you leaving?”
“Never.”
“But why do we have to say goodbye?” his tiny voice gets tight and scared once more. Jaskier shushes him gently.
“Because we’ll see each other again.”
“And horsie too?”
“Her too.” Jaskier nods solemnly.
The boy waves nervously at Jaskier, and then the mare. His big brown eyes bore into Jaskier’s with hope and trust, a trust that will be returned decades from now, for him at least.
“Goodbye.”
Once again, Jaskier is left alone. Snow falls silently in the courtyard like it has been for days.
  The rest of the day passes in a blur. Jaskier goes through dinner without a word, no matter how the four witchers try to engage with him.
Eskel is his usual self, nice and respectful, not prodding after noticing Jaskier in a weird mood. It’s something Lambert physically cannot do, because he constantly asks Jaskier what is wrong, trying to get a response out of him.
“You smell miserable, buttercup, like you are about to pass out.”
Jaskier imagines the tight smile he offers is not the most convincing, since everyone only gets more concerned. Ciri puts her hand on his arm as a silent question, and when she can’t get an answer she starts brooding just like Geralt.
Jaskier would laugh at their likeness if not for his mind racing so fast.
Geralt must have noticed the moment he came back from the stables. He has not let Jaskier out of his sight since, his worry silent but not pushing. After dinner, Jaskier can still feel the weighted gaze on his back, following him all the way back to the bedroom.
He leads Geralt into his room at the end of the hallway and shuts the door. With a soft click of the door, Jaskier turns to throw himself at the witcher with a force that would have knocked over any other man, but Geralt only catches his momentum, solid and steady. He buries his nose into Geralt’s shoulder and lets the familiar smell of pine and soap fill his senses.
“What’s wrong, Jaskier?” Geralt’s voice rumbles out of his chest, deep and patient. “You know, Lambert was right. You smell so…sad.”
“I made you a promise.” Jaskier’s voice is muffled by Geralt’s shoulder.
“What?”
“I made you a promise. Years ago for me, and years from now for you. To always have faith in you, even when you make mistakes.” Jaskier extracts his limbs and looks into the confusion in the flowing amber. He presses their lips together, sweet and lingering, like they have all the time in the world. The kiss tastes like the lost years between them, all the laughter and heartaches, the lust and yearning, and the dust and smoke from war. He pulls away.
The last time he kissed Geralt, it was by the side of a road, full of rage and hurt. This time, it’s hope that rises like a winter sun, cozy but not sweltering.
“This is me keeping that promise.”
“Jaskier,” Geralt swallows, composing himself, “You know I won’t hold it against you. It’s not fair for you to be pressured into this just for something I haven’t asked of you yet. I meant it when I said you can take all the time you need, because I did fuck up, and I’m so –”
“Don’t apologize again,” Jaskier interrupts, “I know how sorry you feel, how you’ll still feel even years from now. Just – don’t.”
He presses his forehead to Geralt’s and they breathe in tandem. Maybe he’s still affected by the memory of Geralt as a child, scared and alone, unaware of the hurt he’s about to receive. The trials, growing up away from home, training to become a weapon, the glares people cast at him. Jaskier shudders to think, desperately needing to shield his witcher from the world, but he was powerless in the stable this afternoon. He is not powerless now.
“How about a promise you did hear from me?” he asks.
Geralt frowns in confusion, waiting for him to explain, so Jaskier cups Geralt’s jaw to study him again, his thumb resting exactly where he wiped tears off of the boy hours ago.
“They were brown.”
The confusion in the amber eyes only grows.
“Your eyes, before the trials. They used to be brown.”
Geralt still looks at him incredulously. When it comes out like that, Jaskier probably sounds crazy.
“Your mother left you by the side of the road. She told you to get water, and when you got back she was gone,” he swallows, “You waited, holding a bucket of water. You waited until you went somewhere else. Somewhere cold, there’s a horse and snow and –”
“Oh.”
Realization dawns on Geralt like a lightning strike. He stares at Jaskier in disbelief.
“All these years –” he whispers, “How is it possible? I thought it was a dream. Vesemir told me it was a dream, that I was in so much shock that I conjured it up in my mind. A horse in the snow, chestnut brown, and…”
“And me,” Jaskier almost chokes out, “It wasn’t a dream.”
Geralt looks pained. All this talk about that day must be dredging up terrible memories and Jaskier never wants to hurt him on top of that.
“Do you remember what I said before you went back?”
To which Geralt chuckles tightly.
“That whole day was a bit hazy in my memory, Jask. Vesemir was right in that I was in shock. And I’ve tried so hard to forget about that day, to bury it so I don’t have to think about it.” he holds on to Jaskier, studying him in a new light. “I just remember that you made me feel so warm, Jask. You were the only good thing on the worst day of my life.”
The ache in Jaskier’s chest lessens somehow at those words. For whatever reason destiny decided to weave their fates together, he’s grateful for it just for that moment’s solace alone.
“You knew you were leaving.”
“I did. Now that I know, it was the first time I ever got pulled through time. To you.”
“I did promise we would see each other again.” Jaskier smiles.
Geralt pauses for a moment. Gradually, the golden yellow lights up like the most beautiful constellation in the night sky.
“You promised to never leave me.”
This time when their lips come together, it’s quiet and natural, like a piece of puzzle falling into place. Jaskier backs Geralt towards the bed, and they almost fall over onto the mattress, breaking the contact.
Geralt chases him with heated fervor, to which Jaskier gladly returns with a soft moan. He’s missed his witcher after all. Any space separating them at this moment needs to be closed like it personally offends him.
Tomorrow morning, Jaskier will wake Geralt with fingers through his hair and lips pressed to his forehead. Tomorrow Jaskier will tell him how much he loves him, over and over again. It won’t be the first time Jaskier has uttered the words, but it will be the first affirmation Geralt receives. Tomorrow Geralt will crinkle his eyes and return the words sleepily while dragging Jaskier back under the covers.
Tomorrow they’ll start a new chapter, together.
For now, they fall into each other under the night sky of the Blue Mountains, in a small room with a roaring fire burning in the hearth, tucked away from war and heartbreak.
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miioouu · 4 years
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Bakugou, Shinsou and Kaminari hcs for their crush singing 90s/2000s cheesy western pop songs when the class goes to karaoke?
Woooo that was fun!! Thank you for requesting!! ❤️💜❤️
    It's your last hang out as a class beforr you all graduate. As bittersweet as it is, you all decided to ignore the pain that ws eating away at your heart and have fun. From the quite kids who always hide behind their friends, to the angry, outgoing ones who like to be seen, you all wanted to feel special that last night. And of course, you wanted to have one last fun, teasing night with your forever crush! Three years passed, the love between you is always in the air, always evident, and yet neither if you decided to make a move. But that wasn't the point of thr night. Not to sulk over never found relationship, but to have the time of your life with....
Bakugo Katsuki 🧡
- He may always seem angry and cold, but over the years, you learned how to deal with him.
-Over the years, he found himself going soft around you, you changed him.
-He spent most of the night groaning and scuffing at his classmates' singing, but everyone knew he was also having fun.
-When your favorite song showed on screen, you couldn't help but jump uo, grabbin the microphone that Asui had in hand and push her to the side.
-As the words showed on the screen, though you didn't quite need them, you couldn't stop your mind from thinking about the angry blonde.
-Eyes darting to his as you sang, smile stretching on your face when his orbs met yours.
-"What makes you think that he wants you?When I'm the one that brought him to the special place that's in my heart he was my love right from the start"
-With the lyrics coming out of your lips, your hips swaying to thr rythm, though Katsuki didn't focus on that, but on the way it seems like you're talking solely to him.
-His heart skipping a beat when he saw you approach him, shoving the mic in his face.
-He tried to hide his blush, look somewhere else, but the pout you were giving him was too much. He complied.
-"You need to give it up, had about enough, it's not hard to see y/n is mine"
-At his change of the lyrics, the whole class cheered louder with "Finally" and "Thank God", though they were all drowned out by the sound of your own beating heart.
-Yeah that was definitely a memorable night...
Kaminari Denki 💛
- The loud, electric boy that everyone loves, everyone needs him to cheer them up.
-But for you he was much more than the class clown. He's the boy that defeated all perceptions people had of him. He's the boy that liked to prove himself no matter the consequences. He's the boy you fell in love with.
- He was the one who pulled you out of your seat and gave you the microphone, sending you a playful wink before sitting back to record everything.
-You knew he wanted to have some fun, to film things to remember once all of this is gone, but the fact that he chose and wanted to film you made you feel some kind of way. Made you blush and nervoud as butterflies seemed to have an acrobatics competition inside your stomach.
-If he wanted fun, then fun it's what he'll get!
-"Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want so tell me what you want, what you really, really want I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want so tell me what you want, what you really, really want I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna I wanna really, really, really wanna zig-a-zig ah!"
-Jumping up and down, twirling with your friends and just enjoying the night as a normal teenager.
-Kaminari wanted to make fun of you, to make some memes out of the video. But he found himself smiling like a idiot watching you, his heart beating faster. It was no secret that you two had mutual feelings, somehow everyone knew but you two.
-Sharing a glance, you sent him a mischievous, challenging smirk. And of course Denki took the opportunity. Giving his phone to Sero to record every bit, every embarrassing dance move, every crack of his voice, as he made his way to you.
-Hands in your shoulders, swaying with you as you both screamed into the microphone, looking at each other so intensely.
-As if your friends around you didn't exist, it was only you two in the room and the Spice girls song playing in the background. Like some cliché teen movie, but it really felt like time has stopped.
- This might be the last night as a class, but you know that you and denki will have many many more.
Shinsou Hitoshi 💜
- He might be quite and to himself. He might be mysterious and dark. But for you he was everyting but a villain.
-Despite rumors and talk, you knew Shinsou was a very good person. Kind and lovely, nice and ambitious, even when he doesn't like to show it; caring.
-It wasn't hard at all to fall for him. And after years of being with him, you knew that he felt some kind of way for you too. But never talked about it, you'd rather him stay your friend than not having him in your life at all.
- But you're not focusing on those feelings tonight. No you wanted to live your best life with your friends.
-And if that meant singing some inappropriate song, moving your body in a flirtatious way, you're gonna do it.
-Honestly you didn't know if you should thank mina for deciding that you should sing Genie in a Bottle in front of Shinsou, giving you the opportunity to tease him a bit. Or you should scold her later for, well, making you sing that song in front of Shinsou.
-Though ignoring your nervousness, your awkwardness, you took a deep breath and let the song lead you on.
-"I'm a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way. If you wanna be with me, I can make your wish come true, you gotta make a big impression gotta like what you do."
-Eyes never leaving lilac ones, as your body swayed to the music, sheen of sweat sparkling under multicolored lights as you made your way to him.
-Pulling him up with you, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close, flush against your own body.
-Maybe you shouldn't do that in front of the whole class, but right now it's your only opportunity to ever have him so close, and it's not like your friends didn't know about you two.
-You thought he would protest, he would want to get away from you. But to your surprise he'd grabbed your hips and moved with you. Smirk evident of his lips but with a hint of nervous, shy blush on his cheeks as he whispered upcoming words in your ear for you to sing.
- This night wasn't only the end of the most wonderful years of your life, but maybe, also the start of something new with Shinsou.
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girlsbtrs · 3 years
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How Being a Woman in Hardcore Helped Me Learn to Love Myself
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Written by Jen Moglia. Graphic by Laura Cross. 
Since this is my first piece written for Girls Behind the Rock Show, I figured that I should introduce myself; hi, my name is Jennifer, but most people call me Jen. I live on Long Island in New York, and my favorite things include my cats, the color pink, giving gifts to my Animal Crossing villagers, and watching sports. Above all else, however, I love music.
I frequently refer to music as the love of my life. It somehow plays a role in everything that I do. I got my first iPod when I was five years old, stacked with everything from Miranda Cosgrove and Avril Lavigne to Tool and Deftones. Some of my favorite memories growing up are sitting in my pink and purple bedroom singing and dancing along to Paramore’s crushcrushcrush and Fall Out Boy’s Thnks Fr Th Mmrs on the local alternative radio station. I danced for 12 years, played cello for seven, and am currently a wannabe ukulele rockstar after buying one on impulse and starting to teach myself how to play four years ago. Even on the simplest, barely noticeable levels, music has been everywhere in my life for as long as I can remember; even now, I can’t complete a basic task without a song playing in my headphones.
Music became an even bigger part of my life when I started attending live shows. I went to my first concerts at age 10, seeing my two favorite artists - Nickelodeon boy band Big Time Rush and classic progressive rock band Rush - within one month of each other. By the time I was 15, I had been to my fair share of arena/seated shows with one or both of my parents, from Fifth Harmony to Fitz and the Tantrums to Alice in Chains. My first general admission show was seeing the Foo Fighters at Citi Field with both my mom and dad when I was 12, but my first pop-punk general admission show (yes, they’re different) came a few years later. I had the typical list of favorite bands that you would expect from a young teenager getting into alternative music: Neck Deep, Knuckle Puck, Real Friends, and State Champs. 
In late 2018, I was able to see all four of these bands for the first time, and I am a firm believer that it changed the course of my life. I met, cried-during, and eventually got the setlist for Neck Deep at Stereo Garden on Long Island in September. I sang all of “Untitled” at the barricade for Knuckle Puck at SI Hall at the Fairgrounds in Syracuse in October. I had my first minor concussion scare (yay!) before Real Friends’ set at Irving Plaza in New York City in November. Finally, I crowd surfed for the first time during State Champs’ anniversary show for The Finer Things at House of Independents in Asbury Park in December. After just a few shows, I had fallen in love with this new brand of live music that I had just been introduced too. There was something so magical to me about skin covered in sweat and Sharpie marks, feet hurting from dancing in the pit all night, and meeting strangers on line outside the venue who would become your best friends and know your deepest secrets by the end of the night.
After making some friends at all of the pop-punk shows I was going to, they started to tell me that I should get into hardcore music. I was hesitant at first - the heaviest thing I had listened to at that point was nowhere near the snippets of hardcore that my friends had played for me - but, eventually, I decided to give it a chance. I was bored and home alone with nothing to do one night over the summer of 2019 when I listened to my first hardcore album, Laugh Tracks by Knocked Loose. Immediately, I got that gut feeling that you have when you know you’ve heard one of your favorite bands for the first time. I knew that this was something special that I was meant to find at this point in my life. For the rest of the summer, I worked my way through the rest of my friends’ hardcore and hardcore-adjacent recommendations, with Cost of Living by Incendiary, Stage Four by Touche Amore, You’re Not You Anymore by Counterparts, Time & Space by Turnstile, Springtime and Blind by Fiddlehead, Smile! Aren’t You Happy by Absence of Mine, Bad to my World by Backtrack, and Reality Approaches by Harms Way being some of my favorites. By the time the next school year started, I was hooked, and I already had tickets to my first few hardcore shows in the fall.
My first hardcore show was in November 2019, seeing Knocked Loose at Webster Hall in New York City - fitting, right? They were on tour supporting their new record A Different Shade of Blue, which I had become obsessed with the minute I heard it for the first time. Although I was ridiculously scared of getting stepped on and breaking all my bones (yes, that was an actual fear of mine), I had the time of my life at that show. There was something about this newer kind of live music that prompted a cathartic release, one that I hadn’t found anywhere else before. As soon as the show was over, I was counting the days until my next one.
My love for live hardcore music (and live music and hardcore music in general) has only grown since then, and that story sort of ends there. However, I want to go back to that first hardcore band that I listened to, Knocked Loose, and the album they put out that first summer that stole my heart. I was taken by storm as soon as the first notes of A Different Shade of Blue rang through my headphones, but something was different about the third track, A Serpent’s Touch, particularly the ending; I heard a voice that sounded a little bit more like my own.
This song features Emma Boster, who does vocals for one of my favorite hardcore bands right now, Dying Wish. When I heard A Serpent’s Touch for the first time, though, I had no idea who she was. I was used to the aggressive vocal delivery of frontmen in hardcore, particularly that of Knocked Loose’s Bryan Garris, but hearing it come from her changed my perspective on a lot of things. It’s not like the song was super angry and changed its tune to be lighter once the token girl came along; in her verse, Boster sings, “I watched the venom / Overcome your spirit / Jealousy holds you now / Distorting your appearance / Bleed out.” These were lyrics that held the same intensity that the lines screamed by the men held, and they sounded just as cool coming out of her mouth. As cheesy as it sounds, it had never even occurred to me that women had a place in this new world that I had discovered. The audiences in the live videos I watched (and eventually at the shows I attended) were made up of mostly men who looked bigger and older than me. When I did start going to shows, most of the non-man population consisted of my friends and I. Emma Boster, along with so many others, began to open my eyes to the fact that a place for people like me existed in this community. It didn’t matter that I had bright red hair or liked butterflies or wore pink - I was just as much a part of this magic as the men multiple feet taller than me with tattoo-covered arms, and I belonged there just as much as they did.
As time went on and I got more involved in the genre’s music and community, I discovered more bands with women in them, and it only fueled this fire of empowerment inside of me. When I felt insecure, I’d watch live sets from Krimewatch, a hardcore band from New York City, just half an hour away from my hometown. They have multiple women as members, including their energetic badass of a vocalist, Rhylli Ogiura. Year of the Knife became one of my all-time favorites, and their bassist Madison Watkins became a serious inspiration to me; the way that she can balance killing it on stage and running the cutest, most pink apparel brand I’ve ever seen (aptly titled Candy Corpse) amazes me. Even some of the bands I’ve found more recently have had an impact on me. I started listening to Initiate last year when their EP Lavender came out, and their beautifully colorful cover art caught my eye before I had heard any of their songs. Their vocalist, Crystal Pak, is also a woman, and she’s insanely talented. Discovering this kind of representation in this new universe that I had come to feel so at home in introduced me to a world of confidence and determination that I had never known before.
When people ask me why I love hardcore so much, I often give the easy answer; “the music sounds good.” If the person allows me to ramble on for a little longer, the answer becomes much more emotional and cheesy. Hardcore taught me that speaking up for what I believe in is important, and if there’s something I’m passionate about, it’s worth shouting about. I became familiar with this when listening to one of my favorite bands ever, Incendiary (the second hardcore band I ever checked out), before quickly realizing that politics are a pretty common topic within the genre - it’s what this music was practically built on. The first time I heard their vocalist Brendan Garrone singing about police brutality and injustice on songs like Force of Neglect and Sell Your Cause, I realized that there is so much more to music than just sounding good.
However, at its core, the thing I love so much about hardcore is what it taught me about being a woman. Growing up, I was the loud girl with the personality bigger than the room who always had something to say and had a never ending supply of excitement about just about everything. As I got older, I was taught that this was not okay. People didn’t like how enthusiastic I was about everything, or that I constantly had new ideas and new discoveries I wanted to talk about. As cliche as it sounds, I felt like everyone around me was trying to dull my sparkle, especially some of the men that I was encountering on a day-to-day basis. Even when I started to come to terms with my big and bright personality, in turn also coming to terms with my own femininity, I was told that this wasn’t how girls acted. I had to pick one - I could watch Disney princess movies and wear Hello Kitty hair clips, or I could be outspoken about my beliefs; but never both. The women that I mentioned earlier, along with so, so many more, helped me unlearn these toxic mindsets. Seeing someone like Emma Boster take the stage and scream ferociously for a full set helped me see that I could be a girl and still be a powerhouse. Following Madi Watkins around on social media showed me that I could love bands like Year of the Knife and also love heart-shaped purses and wear pink from head to toe. My aggression and passion didn’t make me any less of a woman, and my femininity didn’t make me any less of a force to be reckoned with. 
So, at the end of this love letter to hardcore and the women who run it, I say this; thank you for teaching me that I don’t have to shrink myself anymore. It has made a world of a difference.
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marrys-dream-world · 3 years
Text
lovers alone wear sunlight (chapter seven)
Chapter One  Chapter Two  Chapter Three  Chapter Four  Chapter Five  Chapter Six
Read on AO3
Notes: I’m so not gonna finish this fic before july. Day 19: Chat-like. @ladrienjune​
Ladybug became more subdued after that night.
There hasn’t been anything new going on, she had insisted, and no, it wasn’t about her fight with Chat Noir. But her eyes were downcast more often than not and the bags under her eyes were so dark they looked like bruises, so Adrien couldn’t just let it go. He wondered, briefly, if it had been the weather dragging her down as the rainy and gloomy season had descended upon them. Ladybug hadn’t liked the cold since she got her miraculous, he knew, and had always made sure to have a cup of her favorite hot cocoa ready when they met up for patrol.
Then again, everyone around him had been in a foul mood, these days. His father seemed… frustrated. Adrien liked to think it was because of the silent treatment he had been receiving from his son, but he was not in the mindset for unrealistic fantasies. He probably missed Nathalie or Adrien’s mother or simply having anyone he remotely liked in the house. School, although a bit better than his house, had become tense, the whole class somehow aware that he and Marinette were going through a break in their “relationship”.
Even worse, Marinette wouldn’t look at him on the face.
“She needs time, dude.” Nino had said, a comforting hand on his shoulder as Marinette bails as soon as the bell rings. “It’s not about you.”
(Alya, following after Marinette, throws him a conflicted look before disappearing into the hall. Adrien spends the night awake thinking about what it could mean.)
“Listen to your friend, kid.” Plagg tried to comfort him, for once not demanding cheese as soon as they were alone. “Pigtails probably doesn’t know what to say.”
Ladybug, always willing to talk about his problems, was surprisingly unhelpful.
“I don’t really know Marinette that well, Adrien, I’m sorry.” She said, avoiding his gaze. “But… Nino is right. I think she needs space right now.”
Some nights he itched to activate his miraculous and leap into the city nights until he found the balcony on top of Tom & Sabine’s. He never did.
It’s because you’re a coward. A girl’s voice whispered in his mind. Half the time he swore it was Marinette, but the other half he was sure it was Ladybug.
I know. He answered, staring at the ceiling.
So Adrien went to his favorite mechanism to cope through his problems: pretend they don’t exist at all. Fortunately, his melancholic girlfriend provided a great distraction.
The usual distractions were useless. She barely tried at all in video games and her eyes didn’t even spark at the set of special drawing pens (recommended by Nathaniel) that he got her. Their conversations seemed to fall apart without getting anywhere and she just wanted to cuddle quietly, staring sightlessly into the horizon. One day, he got the courage to ask her if he did anything wrong.
Her sigh paralyzed him. 
“I’m sorry, handsome, it’s not you at all. I just… had an awkward situation with a friend and I can’t stop overthinking it.” She said, pausing to hug him and bury her face into his neck. “It’s not his fault. Nor mine, really, but… I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do.”
She cried quietly in his arms. His heart squeezed with guilt about how much it reminded him of Marinette and that night on her balcony.
His next plan to cheer her up was, perhaps, a little risky. But she did say she liked his jokes, right?
It was a movie night. Adrien had finally gotten permission to choose a movie after that Ladybug dubbed The Coraline Incident. Fortunately, she had been so shocked he hadn’t watched The Hunchback of Notre Dame (“That’s the Disney movie set in France. Next you’ll tell me you haven’t watched Ratatouille- no, stop that, you’re making fun of me. Say syke right now, Adrien”) yet that she didn’t even argue. It was nice to see some of that fire light up in her eyes again, even if for a small moment. 
“Here.” He said, handing her their bowl of popcorn with a quantity of butter that was certainly not pre-approved by his nutritionist.
“Thanks.” Ladybug answered absentmindedly as she set up the movie on his tv. Seeing her so at ease with his things made his heart swell up.
“There is nothing better than a movie and popcorn together.” He said casually and she nodded. “They are butter together.”
It sounded better in my head. He thought, and wasn’t that the story of his life?
Ladybug stared at him for a moment, remote dropping from her limp hand. He was about to apologize before she burst into laughter.
“That’s so l-lame.” She said, trying to catch her breath.
“You mean the joke is corny?”
Her laughter, that was starting to subside, came back in full strength and he couldn’t hold back his proud smile.
“I haven’t heard such a bad joke since…” Ladybug said after she calmed down, smile falling from her face.
“Hey.” Adrien said, nudging her with his shoulder. “How about we just watch the movie?”
She nodded, leaning against his shoulder. But she smiled at Quasimodo and sang along to the songs, looking much lighter than she had in a week. 
(He watched her more than the movie, he could admit. Part of it was because he was so in love with her it was stupid and could watch her for hours. The other part was because the way Frollo treated Quasimodo made his skin crawl in a way he couldn’t place.)
Now knowing what cheered her up, he kept it up in every situation he could. 
“I asked a french man if he played video games.” He said solemnly, during a round of Mario Kart. “He said Wii.”
“I don’t get the point of decimals.” He said as he explained a math problem to her. Their math books were standard in schools across Paris, apparently. “I’m more partial to fractions.”
“This is great.” He said at the impromptu indoors picnic session after she suddenly brought a passion fruit cake. “Couldn’t have done it batter myself.”
She always reacted the same away: startled, eyes widening and mouth gaping before she began to laugh, the beautiful sound reminding him of bells. It filled the room and it was like bathing in sunshine. Then, after she finished giggling, she would settle into a mildly melancholic mood. It came to its climax on a dark, rainy afternoon.
“Thanks.” Ladybug said, grabbing the blanket he gave her. Her eyes were droppy as she watched the drizzle, shivering before wrapping herself up.
“I see Paris’ prettiest superhero likes to work undercover.” He said, preparing himself to get drunk on her airy giggles.
But she didn’t laugh this time, just fixed her gaze on him before sighing and clutching her blanket. 
“Hey.” He said, sitting beside her on the couch. “Did I say something wrong?”
“Not, not really, it’s just…” Ladybug said, looking straight ahead to the window. “You just remind me a lot of Chat Noir when you say things like that.”
His heart stopped. “I do?”
“Yeah, you do.” She snorted. "It 's weird.”
“Why?”
“Huh?”
“Why is it weird?”
She turned to look at his face. “I mean, you’re my boyfriend and he’s my partner. I don’t usually think of you two as similar at all.”
“Why? You don’t think I would make a good superhero partner?” He teased, watching a small smile bloom on her face. “Or you don’t think Chat Noir would make a good boyfriend?”
He expected her to roll her eyes and say a sassy “jealous?”, not the blush and avoidance of his eyes.
“It’s n-not that at all!” She said, kneading the couch with her hands.
“Ladybug… do you like Chat Noir or something?” He asked, not even knowing what answer he wanted. 
“What?! No, I don’t like Chat Noir! I mean, yes, I like him, but as a friend! He 's my friend. We’re friend!” She defended fiercely, before deflating. “At least we used to be.”
“My hero…” Adrien said, words of comfort hanging on the tip of his tongue. 
“No, really, I need you to understand this: I’m not into Chat Noir, okay?” Ladybug said, firmly. “Even if I was, it’s not like we can be together, anyways.”
“I’m sorry for saying that, it’s just that you’re Ladybug and Chat Noir, you know?” He said, vaguely gesturing as he said their hero names. “And it’s not like you guys are going to fight forever. I know you’re trying to stop me from feeling jealous, but I don’t think this would stop you from being together.”
“It’s not that, Adrien, it’s way more complicated.” She said. “Look, I didn’t even think about Chat Noir that way until very recently. When we started out I thought he was a flirt, that he didn’t mean what he said at all. And then I hurt him and I found out that yes, he does like seriously. Who would have thought?”
Anyone with eyes. He refrained from saying, remembering the dozens of forums talking about the lovesick eyes Chat Noir sent Ladybug’s way far before Glaciator was even in Hawkmoth’s mind. 
“Even then I couldn’t see him romantically. There was this boy, you see.” Ladybug said and he tensed, as he always did when she mentioned the other boy. “Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m over him and I found he has a girlfriend now. I’m happy for him.”
She sounded genuinely happy and he wondered, not for the first time, what changed. His traitorous heart was both happy and sad because maybe it was him, but why wasn’t it Chat Noir?
“But for the longest time, I was absolutely gone for this guy, my classmate. I thought about him every second of the day and I could barely hold a conversation. I was scared he would never notice me and that he would notice me and…” She broke off, swallowing hard. “It doesn’t matter, because the point is: I was so crazy about this guy and I couldn’t think about anyone else, especially Chat Noir.”
“What made you think about Chat Noir romantically, then?” He asked and continued at her surprised face. “You said you didn’t think about him that way until recently.” 
“I… can’t tell you.It’s not because I don’t trust you!” She hurried to explain at his crestfallen expression. “I just think he should be the first to know. It’s… not a nice story. There was an akuma, an incredibly strong one, and nobody remembers but me and Bunnyx, this time traveling superhero.”
She shuddered and burrowed herself deeper into her blanket.
“I haven’t really talked about it with anyone. Not my friend who knows who I am, not even my kwami.” She confessed. “I want to talk to Chat, to be sure that what happened that time would never happen again. But I can’t because I’m scared.”
“My love…” He said, wrapping her in his arms even as he felt like his heart was trying o climb out of his throat and dread pooling in his stomach. 
“It was my fault, Adrien.” She whispered against his chest. “I can’t let that happen. I can’t happen whatever love there is between me and Chat Noir destroy the world.”
With that, she quieted down, not knowing what storm her words brewed inside Adrien’s chest.
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excitedlysuffering · 4 years
Text
When You Can Sing/Dance
Just a random I thought of, hope you enjoy!
(s/n)= Song name (b/n)= Brother name
Masterlist
Naruto (Singing)~
Your hips swayed back and forth as you sang quietly to yourself. You were washing the dishes from the dinner you and Naruto had shared, while he set up the pillow fort and board games. As you really got into your song, (s/n), your volume began to increase.
Soon you had finished, but you twirled around the kitchen as the melody carried all through your house. Just as you reached up to put the last dish onto the shelf, you felt arms wrap around your torso.
“You never told me you could sing, baby.” A voice breathed into your ear. You shrieked, embarrassed at having been caught. “Naruto! Um… how’s the fort?” He laughed, spinning you around. “Don’t change the subject, (Y/N), you have a beautiful voice.” You couldn’t help your blush, so you hid your face in his shoulder.
“Thanks, Naru. Did you finish the fort?” He nodded eagerly, dragging you to the living room. “Yeah! It takes up the whole living room, and I added a mini snack bar, the games, and some blankets and pillows to lay on!”
You kissed his cheek before excitedly climbing in. “It’s perfect! What do you want to do first?” The blonde smirked, tackling you onto a pillow, causing you to laugh. “You should sing to me! Pleaseee...” He pleaded.
As much as you wanted to refuse, he was the king of puppy dog eyes. The second his cerulean orbs met yours, you knew you’d be singing to him for a while. “Alright, alright, what do you want to hear?” He shrugged, laying his head in your lap.
“I don’t care, as long as you’re the one singing.” Your blush came back in full force as you ran your hands through his blonde locks.
“Okay, I’ll sing (s/n)...” You started the song Naruto had caught you singing in the kitchen. Your voice carried all through your fort, but your attention was only on your boyfriend, who’s eyes were closed as he listened to you.
You lost track of how songs you went through before realizing he was snoring quietly. You couldn’t help but smile, studying him in order to remember this moment forever.
Sasuke (Dancing/Hip Hop)~
Really he hadn’t meant to barge in on you. He heard a series of loud thuds and all he could think of was you being hurt. What he didn’t expect to see, however, was you in the middle of your living room, all your furniture moved. You were dressed in spandex and a tank top, hair swaying, hips sashaying, and your body completing all types of complicated moves in rapid succession.
He could only watch, shocked into absolute silence. What had happened to his usually calm, softspoken girlfriend? Sasuke, as surprised as he was, couldn’t complain. You looked like some sort of divine goddess and he was mesmerized.
He had no idea how long he stood there captivated as you danced in your room, oblivious to his presence. When your song and routine finished, you looked towards the door, your face instantly going red. Leaning against the threshold was your boyfriend, not at all looking suave and unbothered as usual. Sasuke looked quite the opposite actually. His jaw was slack and his eyes wide.
“Hey… how long have you been standing there?” He took three long strides towards you, a smirk forming on his lips. “Long enough to know that you should be doing that more often.” You covered your face, trying to hide your cheeks. You groaned as the Uchiha wrapped his arms around you, laughing quietly.
“Don’t be like that, kitten, that was amazing. You have a real talent.” You looked up, practically glowing at the praise. “Really?” He nodded, smiling softly. “Really. If I’d known you were such a great dancer, I would’ve been flaunting you around already.”
You giggled, knowing he wasn’t exaggerating in the slightest. You could just imagine Sasuke yelling at a random person who was dancing and just shoving you forward and saying, “My girl is a better dancer than you!”. It was a funny thought, and you giggled a little.
“Well, maybe when I perfect this routine I can show you.” He grinned, ruffling your hair a bit. “From what I’ve seen, you’ve already perfected this, so there’s no reason to wait.” You laughed at his eagerness and pushed him out the door. “See you later, babe!” He protested as you closed the door, laughing.
Shikamaru (Singing)~
Your mom had asked you last second to watch your little brother, (b/n), last-second when his typical babysitter had to cancel. Rather than cut your date short, Shikamaru had agreed to help you out.
“SHIKAMARU!” The hyperactive five-year old ran towards you both as soon as the door opened. His small arms wrapped around Shikamaru’s legs in a hug. You sweatdropped as he totally ignored your existence. “Hey, buddy! You excited to hang out?” Shikamaru asked picking him up.
“Yes! I haven’t seen you in forever!” You giggled at the sight. Your two favorite boys got along so well, and it made your heart swell.
“Hey, (b/n)!” He waved half-heartedly as Shika walked down the hall. “Oh, hey, (Y/N).” Your jaw dropped at the mediocre greeting. You shrugged it off as you took your shoes off and followed them into the living room.
“So what do you want to do first?” Shika asked the excited child who had his legs wrapped around your boyfriend’s neck and was hanging upside down. “Let’s play Candyland! I just got it and it’s so fun!”
That is how you found yourself locked in a very competitive game with (b/n) and Shikamaru. The boys complained, your brother even sounding like Shika when he said this was a ‘drag’ when you won. You just laughed while your boyfriend looked like a proud parent.
You looked at the time sighing in relief when you saw the time. It was almost three o’clock, the time for your brother’s daily nap. As much as you loved (b/n), he was a ball of boundless energy and he was exhausting. Especially when you had just finished your sixteenth straight game of Candyland.
“Hey, look at the time. Looks like it’s time for someone’s nap…” (B/n) groaned but, stood up obediently and yawned. “Shika will you tuck me in?” He looked uncharacteristically excited to comply with his request. You didn’t mind not being asked, you would prefer the tucking in tradition to remain a secret.
“(Y/N/N), aren’t you coming?” You internally panicked at the sight of your brother pouting. “O-of course I’m coming!” You jumped up, hurriedly guiding him to his room, trying to ignore Shika’s amused expression.
Per (b/n)’s request, you had no choice but to sing his favorite lullaby, the same one you sang him every day. As you quietly sang the words, lulling him to sleep, Shika’s eyes widened beside you. In minutes he was asleep, and you sighed in relief, ready to have this moment over with. The second you were out of the room you were in Shikamaru’s arms, his face one of awe.
“That was beautiful, (Y/N)... why haven’t you told me you could sing?” You shrugged, laughing quietly as to not wake the sleeping child. “You never asked, Shika.” He rolled his eyes, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“Troublesome woman. Well, now I know and I want to hear more.”
Neji (Dancing/Ballet)~
Neji had always been prone to just walking into your house unannounced and uninvited. It wasn’t that you necessarily minded, it was just that you had no idea how he did it. Your door was never unlocked, but he just waltzed like it was.
Today was one of those days, but this time you weren’t there to screech at the sudden sight of your boyfriend. He frowned and looked around your home. As he wandered around, his ears picked up the sound of piano music. He traced to the one room in your house he had never seen.
He silently opened the door, not knowing what to expect. Even though he was usually pretty even-tempered, he couldn’t help but be flabbergasted at the sight of the room. It was clearly a ballet studio, and you were in the middle, in a black leotard and ballet slippers.
He had seen you fight and knew how agile, graceful, and light on your feet you were, but now it all made sense. The way you effortlessly spun and twirled and leaped…
He was utterly and completely entranced by you. He could tell you’d been doing ballet for years by your skill level. Something about seeing you doing something so… beautiful and precise made him fall a little more in love with you the longer he watched.
“(Y/N)... you’re amazing.” You froze, midturn at the voice. “Neji? What are- what are you doing here?” He couldn’t stifle his large smile, as he grasped your hands in his own. “Well, I came to see you, but I wasn’t expecting this. You have so much talent, Angel!”
You grinned pecking his lips. “Thank you, Neji… I took it up as a hobby when I was little, but it’s actually increased my skills as a shinobi so I kept it up.”
He chuckled breathlessly. “I’ll say. I’m glad I chose to come over when I did.” You laughed as you realized he probably broke in again. “Me too. Although, I really want to know how you get in!” He shrugged smirking as he let you go.
“If you show me your routine, I’ll tell you exactly how I do it.” You grinned, nodding ecstatically. “You’re on!”
You mentally cheered as you started the song over, excited to show Neji this part of you, and find out his secret.
Kiba (Singing)~
The second you had learned that Kiba was sick with a terrible fever, you had rushed over bags of supplies in tow. You found your boyfriend in his bed, shivering with blankets and Akamaru wrapped around him.
“Kiba? How are you feeling?” He moaned, his face nearly matching his red fangs. Even though he was shivering, he was sweating profusely. “I’m really cold…” He was cut off by a coughing fit, causing your heart to break a little more at the sight.
“I brought some medicine and soup, do you think you can keep it down?” Akamaru, as if knowing his owner was in good hands, jumped off the bed, letting you take his spot. “Yeah,” he whispered tiredly. You frowned as you placed a hand on his forehead. “Kiba, you’re burning up!”
You rushed to the bathroom, running a rag under cold water. You were relieved at the contented sigh Kiba let out when the rag touched his head.
“Alright, I have the medicine, can you open for me?” It made you nervous about how different he was. His mouth barely opened and he didn’t bother to complain about the unpleasant taste. “Do you want to eat? Or save it for later?” His tired eyes lifted up to yours as he sniffled.
“Just wanna sleep… will you stay with me?” You nodded, propping up a pillow and leaning back as his head came to rest on your lap. “Thank you, (Y/N/N).” He mumbled. A small smile pulled at your lips as you combed a hand through his hair.
“You’re welcome, babe. Now get some sleep, okay? I’ll be here when you wake up.” You felt him nod once as he laid an arm over your torso. You watched him as he fell asleep, but you could tell it wasn’t restful. In all honesty, he looked quite miserable.
Without a second thought, you began to sing a quiet song (A/N: Think sad/slow song like Sam Smith or John Legend) that always calmed you down. Kiba’s face, which was scrunched, slowly smoothed out. His features finally looked relaxed, but you kept singing, not wanting to break the effect.
“You sound like an angel…” You paused in surprise, Kiba’s scratchy voice surprising you. You laid a small kiss on his forehead. “Rest, baby, you need it.” He silently placed your hand back in his brown locks, already half asleep. You complied with a chuckled. You resumed your singing, happy that he was finally getting some much-needed shut eye.
Gaara (Dancing/Salsa)~
We all know Gaara can be a little insecure at times, he trusted your word, of course, but somethings he just couldn’t ignore. Like when he was on the way to your house and saw you get into a man’s car and leave. He knew it was petty, but he couldn’t help it. You were dressed in a tight red, cocktail dress and he had on dress clothes, for goodness sake! In his mind, he had no choice but to follow you. What if you were going on a date with someone else? What if he was just a side piece?!
However, he was very confused when your car had pulled into a dance studio. What would you being doing there? Could you even dance? He’d never seen you do it.
Still, he waited a minute to follow you in, he didn’t want to be caught spying on you. He saw you enter a room and quickly tailed you around the corner, and into a room filled with two other couples. What kind of date was this…?
He stayed behind the door, just peeking his head out. Upbeat music that he didn’t recognize played throughout the room and everyone took their places. He was absolutely horrified as you began seductively dancing with the man. His hands were all on your waist and your thighs… he couldn’t watch anymore of it. He stomped over and gently but firmly ripped you out of his grasp.
Your (e/c) orbs met his seafoam ones, in shock. “What are you doing?!” Your lips parted in surprise and your cheeks reddened in humiliation as everyone’s eyes landed on you. “Gaara?! What are you doing here?!” His eyes narrowed at the man behind you.
“I was going to go to see you, but then I saw you leave with him! What is going on?” Even though he was scowling, you couldn’t help burst out laughing. “You think this funny? You think I like seeing my girlfriend out with other guys?”
The hurt in his voice stopped you short. “Gaara, this isn’t a date. I haven’t told you, because I wanted it to be a surprise, but I salsa dance and I’m performing at a recital. This is practice…” His face matched his ruby red hair. “P-practice?” I smiled, snaking my arms around his torso.
“Don’t sweat it, man, if I were in your position I probably would’ve been worse.” (R/n), your partner assured him. “Heh, yeah… sorry for interrupting, I’ll, um, be off now.” You grabbed his hand before he could dash off.
“Why don’t you stay? We can go out after.” He sighed in relief before nodding. “Okay.” You watched as he took a seat close to the wall.
You walked out of the studio hand in hand, to his car. “You were fantastic, (Y/N/N)! But… you should teach me to salsa because I’m the only one who should be able to touch you like that.” You giggled as you reached the car. “Deal.”
Kakashi (Singing)~
You and Kakashi were often paired together for missions, thanks to both of your skills and great chemistry. Tonight the two of you had a simple mission; infiltrate a Daimyo’s party, get him alone, then kill him. It was a dire mission, seeing as he had sent spies to collect info on the Hokage.
Just like all the evil old men that were your targets on your missions, he had a soft spot for pretty girls. Kakashi grumbled the whole way to the party, but with the promise of being careful (and a couple of kisses) he agreed to follow your lead.
There was a mini stage for impromptu singers and entertainers, and it was right in front of where the Daimyo’s table was. He was surrounded by girls young enough to be his daughter, which made you scrunch your nose up in disgust. “I have an idea, stay here, okay?”
The silver-haired jonin nodded sharply, his gaze not leaving you as you made yours to the stage. The guest of honor’s eyes seemed to drawn to you as well. You felt him look you up and down, your short, tight dress leaving little to the imagination.
You schooled your expression as you addressed the crowd. “This song is dedicated to the Daimyo, who has surely caught my eye.” You winked at him, trying to suppress your gag.
The song you sang was sultry and seductive, complete with your swinging hips. Everyone, not just the Daimyo, seemed to be enraptured as your steamy melody drifted through the venue.
As soon as you finished, he was already heading towards you. “Follow me, darling.” You permitted yourself to be dragged down a hallway behind the stage. You sent your nervous boyfriend a reassuring smile as you disappeared.
As soon as the door closed behind you, a senbon was in your hand. “Sorry, Daimyo, but your treason will not be tolerated.” His eyes widened. “Wha-” He dropped to the ground, two senbons silencing him.
Kakashi had entered the room five minutes after you had done the deed, clearly stunned. “Wow. That was an impressive display, love. I would love for you to reenact that when we get home…” He stated, suggestively. His hands rested on your waist and brought you closer to them.
You raised an eyebrow and gestured to the dead man. “I wasn’t aware you had a death wish, Kashi.” He rolled his eye, laughing. “If that means I get to hear you sing to me…” You laughed, kissing his cheek.
“How about I’ll just sing?” His joking smile turned sincere. “I would love that.”
~Akatsuki~
Pein (Dancing/Ballroom)~
You were bored out of your mind, there was nothing to do. Pein and Konan had left on a mission, and a lot of the others were out too. You spent most of your time in the orange-haired leader’s room since the majority of your things were already in there.
Pein hadn’t really given you a time frame, but so far it had been three and a half days, so they should be here soon right? You sure hoped so. You had already spun around in his chair like a child, read every slightly entertaining book in his room (not many) and you completed some overdue mission reports
You were quickly running out of time-consuming activities when your gaze landed on his cloak. Pein had never seemed like a dancing type, so you never had a partner to dance with. But now that no one was around it gave you a perfect opportunity to do what you love.
Before you’d gone rogue, you were part of a wealthy family and they had a passion for throwing parties where’d there be dancing all night. That was the only thing you liked about it, being able to forget everything and just twirl the night away.
You grabbed Pein’s spare cloak and held it the way one would their partner. You hummed a tune, it helps you keep your beat as you made your way around the room. You were actually having quite a bit of fun, and your humming got louder as you waltzed.
“What are you doing?” You shrieked, coming face to face with White Zetsu. (A/N: Hah, you thought it was Pein) Although you wondered where Black Zetsu was, you weren’t upset. He was always talking about eating you and the like.
“Um, dancing? What are you doing here?” Zetsu gave you a small smile. “Looking for Pein, I assume he’s not in?” I shook my head. “Unfortunately not.”
He gave you a strange look. “Why do you dance with a cloak?” You laughed. “Cause there’s no one else!” Zetsu took the cloak from you and set on the bed. “I’ll dance with you then. I’ve always enjoyed it, but Black Zetsu doesn’t dance.” Instead of questioning it, you shrugged and got into position with a simple ‘okay’.
He was actually really good, but you didn’t comment on it because it was nice finally having someone to dance with.
“Um, did I miss something?” You both spun around, your eyes meeting a confused Pein in the doorway. You smiled walking over to him. “Nope, Zetsu and I just like to dance.” His quizzical expression didn’t leave his face as you and Zetsu continued to dance as if nothing had happened.
“I had no idea you could dance like this. Where’d you learn?” You smiled at my lover as he approached you. “Society parties were a must, so I learned early. What about you Zetsu?” He smiled. “That’s a secret. Unfortunately, I must take my leave. Black Zetsu is waiting for me.”
With a small smile, he disappeared through the floor, leaving you and Pein alone. You flashed him a grin and held out a hand.
“Wanna learn to dance?” He placed his hand in yours. “I’d be honored.”
Deidara (Singing)~
You hummed quietly to yourself as you cooked dinner. It was your week to cook for the Akatsuki, and even though it was a lot of work catering to everyone’s individual preferences and needs, it was a fun job for you.
You had always used singing as a way to pass the time and this time was no different. You loved to sing older, classical songs, ones you would hear at the fanciest events. They would completely captivate you every time you heard them.
Your voice carried through the room as you lost yourself in the lyrics. You were so enraptured with your singing and cooking that you didn’t even notice your audience of one. A low, smooth voice joined in, harmonizing with yours.
You whipped around, the sight of Deidara causing you to freeze. He kept singing, but the smile on his face encouraged you to continue your little duet. The lyrics you two were singing seemed to mingle together, complimenting and enhancing each other.
As you both grew more confident, you began to draw closer together, and it looked as if you were serenading each other. The blonde-haired artist couldn’t keep the grin off his face, and neither could you. This moment was so perfect you didn’t think anything could ruin it.
You knew it would be easy to get used to his voice, it was so playful and soothing… it fit him like a glove the more you thought about it.
As the song came to a close you could tell Deidara wasn’t satisfied. “One more time? Since I missed the beginning and all.” He smirked mischievously. You grinned, holding his hands in yours.
“I guess since you asked so nicely, I can do it one more time.” You teased with a laugh. He lifted your hand to his mouth and kissed your palm. With a wink, he dived right into the first few words. Without hesitation you joined in, once again creating a beautiful harmony that could be heard all around the base.
You both were in utter bliss at this new experience. Never would you have imagined you and Deidara singing together, but now that it was happening you couldn’t imagine this any other way. Your arms made their way around his neck and his around your waist, but it did nothing to interrupt your flawless performance.
The sound of hushed whispers did, however. “Did you know they could do that?” “No! I’ve never heard either of them sing…” “He’s so whipped!” SMACK. “Shut up! This is so sweet!”
You and Deidara let go of each other, startled by the sudden appearance of Konan, Hidan, and Itachi.
“Oh, um heyyy… dinner is almost ready?” You stuttered trying to draw attention from you and Deidara’s little spectacle. Itachi’s eyebrow raised, a smirk on his lips. “You mean that?” He pointed to the burning, unrecognizable mess in a pan. “Um, takeout?” You suggested sheepishly.
Deidara laughed, his lips landing on your cheek. “Sounds good to me, Princess.” “SEE!?” Hidan exclaimed, “He’s whipped- OW! STOP, KONAN!”
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