#favorite person who couldnt grasp being a favorite anything
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1, 3, 9, 22, and 24 from the OC Interview Questions for Devi please!!!
yaaay thank you!!!! :3 ok im going Devi Mode now >:3
1. Who makes up your family? How close are you to them?
well there's my mom and dad, and i have an older sibling, Avery, and two older sisters, Kennie and Satomi. im pretty close with all of them, especially my parents! tbh though it kinda feels like the five years i was dead made me miss a lot of my siblings' lives so theres like a sort of.... glass wall? i think? thats five years i cant get back, and they're all enough older than me that i wasnt really raised "with" them so much as i was raised after them, you know?
also Noah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Noah's been such a big part of my (un)life that it would be wrong not to call him family <3 plus also hes my boyfriend :3
3. What is your favorite childhood memory?
so Jane's favorite fruit is-- um... was [he looks kinda sad for a moment, but shakes it off] blackberries, but she was allergic to the brambles so when it was blackberry season, i'd crawl into bushes to get the juciest berries for her
anyway the september before, um.... she got a bit sick in september and i wanted to cheer her up so Noah and i went to the biggest blackberry bush we'd found in the forest and i picked as many blackberries as i could for her while Noah kept me company (cuz he's also allergic so he couldnt join me in the bush). we werent as close back then as we are now, and i dont remember really what we talked about, but i remember that it was one of the last warm days of the year as the season changed, and the forest was so pretty and i felt like nothing could ever go wrong
its, um, kind of a sad memory. bittersweet, i mean. but its important to me
9. Are you a spiritual person? If yes, what do you practice?
now that's a really interesting question. i know that there is a sort of "higher power" that exists in the world, but it's not really God, or A God or anything consious really. its more like.... a membrane woven into the world that makes it what it is. like a membrane holding back some kind of juice? God Juice. and there's that spot in the mountains where the membrane has been punctured so more of God Juice is flooding out of that hole than there should be in the world, and i was part of that god juice, and i think that god juice is now a part of me? or it made me or something? and if i focus, really focus hard, i can kinda hear the way the universe sings? not always though
but um. i dont really know if that counts as spirituality. and i dont "practice" anything it just... kinda is? i try to be nice to people and the world but that doesnt feel like "practicing spirituality"
22. What’s the easiest way to flirt with you?
ummm haha ohh..... i dont really know how to answer that..... growing up i was usually either ignored or bullied so its always so weird whenever someone flirts with me. its always like, are you talking to me?? oh, no thanks. i already got a guy for that
and Noah's not really a flirty guy. he'll walk into the underworld to carry me back home, for sure, but he doesnt really do flirting. unless you count just open and honest statments about how you feel about someone as flirting? i'll flirt with him absolutely, but usually gets too flustered to flirt back. its really cute
24. What would you consider your main love language?
spending years of your life devoted to taking care of someone who's lost everything, through thick and thin, even when things get hard, on days when they dont seem particularly... connected to their humanity. just being a constant in their life, a lighthouse in the middle of a typhoon, grounding them when theyre too lost to find solid ground on their own. walking into the unknown to grasp their soul and bring them back from the brink, even if that means everything changes, even if it means you yourself could get stuck yourself. would you still love me if i was a worm. would you still care for me i had nothing to give you but my company and my love, even if my company doesnt mean my touch or my conversation. would you still love me if i couldn't remember who you were.
um.
sorry. what was the question?
oh right! i think my love language is physical touch and acts of service and quality time. both giving and receiving them.
#it lives in the woods#ilitw mc#<- yeah i really like some of these answers too much not to post em in a main tag#oc: devfield
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Okay finally rested enough to talk ab the craft show!
So for YEARS this one has been heaaavily coveted by many crafters and has been hard to get in, but always told that it's worth it. That you'll make your table cost back in like two hours!
Yeah no... had mom not made wreaths, we would have lost money... Anyway super super dead at times like absolutely no one walking around, just the vendors getting up and shopping bc they could. Then it would pick up but you would get maybe 2 interested shoppers out of every 10. 4 if you were lucky.
People adored the boo boo bunnies and cat toys and I sold the most of them. So now I have to make more cat toys 😭. It's not the amount of effort it takes to make them, I love making them. I hate stuffing them with catnip 😭😭😭 but that's why people (and cats) love them. Also need to put bells on them bc people really like the ones with bells, which I stopped doing bc several people kept asking if I thought their cats would eat the bells... like you can cut it off man idc sgdggdgd once you buy it it's yours idc if YOU eat it if that's your thing just give me my dollar
Have to make a card for the bunnies bc it's hit or miss on if people know what they're for (you pop em in the freezer and hold them to a small "boo boo" and use it like a little ice pack, or you can pop out the reusable cube and use ice. Either way it's a cute little ice pack.
Only my one cousin bought any handwarmers 😭 and her wife had to pay me in $4 worth of quarters sgsgdggddg I was like take your time you could pay me in pennies and that'd be fine too (had a little kid pay me 25 cents for a slap bracelet in various coins and it was so sweet 🥺)
My mom posts our shows on her fb so that family and friends can show up to support us, and the first time since we've been doing these, we had 3 groups of family come in!
But that wasn't always a good thing...
[Put under read more for length]
My mom's cousin brought her daughter and granddaughter, and they talked for awhile and eventually mom's cousin bought a wreath (thank god). And she was like "oh my god this is so beautiful!! 😍" and complimented my stuff as well (but my stuff is more geared towards kids/parents like the boo boo bunnies, so she didnt buy anything from me agdgdgdg)
Then my cousin (not the handwarmers one) came and I used to really love her/she was my favorite cousin... until she moved back to the state and I realized goddamn you're super annoying and have 0 social awareness (in a THE ATTENTION SHOULD BE ON ME! and a never really thinking ab the situations she puts people in when she does shit, way. Not a "I am incapable of grasping social norms/social rituals"/"I cannot control how loud I'm being/why what I say might be considered rude" way.
Anyway she fosters dogs and has 4? Of her own, anyway she always has at least one dog with her at any time. Doesn't matter if you were attacked by one when you were a small child, or that you only have cats, it's a small dog! You're gonna like this one!!
She takes them into the grocery store too 😑. Anyway she brought her foster dog to it and ofc everyone kept coming over to see it and every fucking time she would canvas this dog like "his name is Bob. He goes up for adoption in two weeks at [shelter she volunteers at]" to every goddamn person who walked by.
"But Mar, doesn't that mean she brought customers to you?"
Nope! She and her dog blocked customers from my table bc they couldnt fucking get in with the people cooing at the dog and figured eh I'll skip this one, there's 100 vendors here.
Doesn't mean that every person who skipped would've bought from me, but none of the people who came up for the dog bought anything or so much as looked twice at my shit anyway. 😑
She did tell our cousin to meet her there though bc our cousin's wife is a photographer and she was gonna take pics of the dog at a nearby park. Didn't mention AT ALL that we had a booth, so they didnt really bring a lot of money, they thought they were just gonna say hi to us real quick then go.
My cousin's wife was like YOU DIDNT TELL US THEY HAD A BOOTH HERE?!?! OMG LOOK HOW CUTE!!!!! and they bought 2 handwarmers from us 🥰. And we gave their son some stuff for free as a gift (plus bc they ended up staying for like 2 hours and that shit is only so fun for a 7 year old for so long. But it was more so just Handwarmer Cousin staying to talk to my mom for most of it while her wife, son, and Dog Cousin went shopping/canvased Bob around. But I like HW cousin still so it wasnt bad sgdggdgd I just half listened to them talk while I took care of customers. Sold 1 ornament (the whole show), some cat toys, and I think another bunny, in that time lmao)
But the whole time Dog Cousin was there I was like 😐/🙁 instead of my fake customer service smile bc that smile only lasted until the second person she canvassed Bob to and that was approximately 30 seconds.
She didnt even consider buying anything, or say anything ab our table. Only when my mom asked her if our prices were reasonable. To which we got a "yeah." Then immediately back to Bob. 😐
After they left I went to walk around and goddamn there was nothing really good there except two crochet tables which had little plushies but nothing that jumped out at me.
Did trade a tooth pillow for a small tombstone shaped bar of soap of about the same price with another vendor sggdgdgdgd which was odd but nice
Anyway here's hoping my cousin wont come to the next/last show and that we find fun stuff at that one to buy sgdgdgdg
#it was nice to see HW cousin and her family bc theyre nice people. i mean i dont really know her wife and son well bc i didnt go to the#wedding bc of AID (wanted to go though) but god every time Dog Cousin and i interact i like her less sgdgdggdgd#marquilla#really wish we sold more but im hoping having two tables will help at the next/last one bc it is CRAMPED#but thats bc i forget my inventory list and am like cramming to make ornamenta and well... no one likes them i guess :/#for the next one i just need to make cat toys and maybe more bunnies (i wanna find blue baby washcloths but im cheap shdggdgd ill check#marcs again. otherwise it's the soft long earred bunnies)#kids really love to buy the cat toys bc theyre 2 for $1 bc i use them to use up scraps and left overs and it's so cute to see them#pick through and then triumphantly hold up their choices. even better when i offer them a tiny bag and they get so happy like :0 !#didnt expect the post to be so long but whew
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For the artist questions, 6, 21 and 30 if you dont mind
6. What’s your least favorite thing to draw?
Ironically what people tell me to draw.
It's my love-hate with commissions, where I can need the money but dread what people are going to pay me to draw. However, I do like requests, there's a semantic difference in my brain for a request bc usually requests are framed in ways that people want me to draw something they think would match my art or think I the artist would enjoy drawing vs commissions where people want something I just couldnt care less about but Have to do it.
Since I've gotten more established professionally IRL I get to be more choosy about what I take on as commission, so I might just endup doing a whole "I'll only do commissions if I actually like your idea" since I do want to be paid for my work and I do think people have really cool ideas I would love to pry out of their tangled brains and put to paper or canvas or whatever. But even then, If I do really love someone's idea, I mean. Fuck it. I'd love to do it. I love making things for people and giving them away. The fleeting aspects of art can be art too.
21. Do you like to challenge yourself?
Yes !!! I constantly do shitty little sketches and go to drawing tutorials, ask my art instructor and professor friends for tips, tricks, ideas etc. I do a lot of exercises and recently I've become much less afraid of creating backgrounds now that I have a better grasp how to make them. Similarly I'm trying to figure out painting more, which is both fun and challenging.
I don't want to do Just realism, I would love to experiment with other styles. Now that I have actual income, I can "waste" resources (paint, canvases, etc) practicing. Usually the issue is, if I make something, I can't buy back the things I used to make it, and therefore can't continue making. One of the big reasons I've been doing so much more art lately than the past decade.
30. What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist?
How do you define it? Is it what's the most realistic? I can do realism. I have. Ive been doing it since I was a young teenager, I had galleries and awards and was paid hundreds to nearly a thousand dollars for pieces. My parents kept all the money. Now that I'm an adult, no one gives a shit that some thirty year old man can paint a realistic portrait of a celebrity. It only mattered when I was 13 and 14 using a program no one ever heard of (paint tool sai) or didnt think photoshop could be anything but a photo editor. Realism isnt fun, anyway, at least not anymore for me.
I do think that things like "the basics" - anatomy and realism, still life, color theory, perspective, all should be learned to learn how to make compelling art. But they dont have to be used in polished, aesthetically pleasing ways. Once you learn how and why "oh these colors clash and make people turn away from how jarring they are" you can use that. "These perspective lines are weird" can be just as compelling when you have the knowledge to fuck around with it.
I think the thing for me is, after having collaborated with so many other artists IRL and seeing their work, art is so much more than being "good" or "better" or "best" — it's expression. What you express, how you express it, those are each personal things.
Art isn't just painting. Or embroidery. Or convention. Its this lady in town who makes full body puppet costumes out of scrap blankets and broken ceramics. Is this old woman in the country side who makes masks out of paper and crayons. Its a local punk who learned to silk screen their own T shirts with weird shit.
I guess more or less being a "better" artist for me is coming to understand that there's no actual such thing. You can have your own personal goals, set them, and make them.
In addition, "every artwork is practice for the next"
It's a perpetual cultivated skill that, when you look back, there will always be something you could have done "better"
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also i couldn't figure out how to word it.
i. dont like koda anymore lol. i dont think i ever really did.
some analysis...ish below lol
like i doubt this is even slightly relevant to anything anymore considering i stopped writing for her like. months(?) months ago. koda was a weird almagation of everything i ever wanted to do with a shepard and her character suffered for it. she was a war hero with a crystal clean background -- a family woman who ended up with biotics in the end. she had a darkside, part of her she rarely shared. she was everything all at once, and when she couldn't be, i passed parts of her i wanted into other characters.
i originally tried passing it off as that she exhibited a lot of my own personality traits -- acting as if my own emotions weren't really a stake or issue in other people's lives. or that she didn't matter in the grand scheme of things because of her figurehead status.
and that worked. that still works for a decent story beat. she's fascinating and relatable because of it. she was my pet project and she was beloved (by me at least lol) for it.
but since i stopped writing -- i realized it was a copout. characters that came after her (not citlali, because she suffered from so many story changes even i can't remember where or who she is anymore, nor annika for the same reasons) were just. better, because i didn't feel like i was writing about a vessel for the story to flow through instead of around. brione in fact, is the only one i still feel a real desire to write about, and she was never intended to be a shepard. her story was directly about her making her own decisions and making a name for herself.
because they didn't feel like i was writing about me.
all of my first characters in any rpg are me. most of the time. (svenja/reyna/marzeyna didnt suffer from this issue for some reason). and because of that, they get the worst of me most of time. i know the self-insert/mary sue argument has been done at least ten times over since ive been old enough to grasp what it means -- but she was a self insert. a pretty big one at that lol.
writing koda as a self-insert meant i was indirectly using her as a vessel to feel like i had control over my life. she was effectively 'born' in the middle of the covid pandemic and during my sophmore year of high school. i was miserable, feeling trapped and terribly lonely. koda and mass effect in general gave me a place to get away (not healthily, though). now that im in college, she doesnt feel as much of a power fantasy to me anymore. she feels like a person. which isnt bad, but it took away a lot of exploration i felt like i "still" needed to do. the stories i "still" needed to tell didn't feel so. important anymore.
because i'd already done that exploration with myself.
its only been about 2.5 years since then. but ive grown as a person -- and i couldnt reflect those in koda. the flaws id learned to love about myself werent the same as the one id given to her. i couldnt explore them.
there was nothing left to explore. i don't know her flaws anymore, because i realize i wrote her without any real ones. she just. could. she was shepard -- because she was shepard. she was loved by most of her crew members -- because she was shepard. she didn't face conflict -- because she was shepard. she was as much a hollow shell as default shep was, just with a more distinct face and a name.
at the time, i didnt know what made some of my most favorite interpretations of shepard and their story so lovable and fascinating to me. id believed it was just the mere presence of their problems. now though, i realize its because mutuals and other authors allowed their characters to grow without being afraid it would take away from the character.
i couldnt reflect that growth because some of it, id simply never experienced. i have a better understanding of interpersonal relationships now. i can't say ive had an "awakening" or anything (thats a tad dramatic for what im trying to get across lol) -- but im a different person from then to now. two years isnt a lot, surely, but the leap in logic and reasoning from then to now is. large enough that i can recognize i and my perspective is vastly different.
theres no real conclusion to this. not a big fancy ending or some grand analysis -- i was just not great at creating characters. like real ones with real stories and real problems. everytime ive come back to redamancy over the last couple of months, i feel. off about it. not quite right. not quite proud. and i did a shit ton of work for that book when i still felt good about it. when i was still constantly writing 10k word chapters for it.
(which is a feat within itself, im struggling to write three page papers now lol)
i haven't touched it since december almost. maybe longer.
its the longest ive gone without even remotely thinking about koda.
given i suppose its growth. (most likely also that my mass effect hyperfixation died out and i didnt want to admit it. am i capable of enjoying things casually? who knows lol) learning what worked and what didn't -- but its so odd someone that basically defined my fandom presence and myself for almost a year is. really nothing but a handful of unfinished chapters and half baked ideas now.
i don't even know who koda was meant to be. what her story was supposed to represent. someone, surely. but i guess i'll never know.
i dont cringe at her. i value her as someone, maybe something that made me genuinely happy. her relationship with her sister made me happy at least -- her relationship with kaidan made me ecstatic (and arguably mirrors the same type of care and respect i have in my own relationship now, believe it or not. i believe i went and found my own kaidan lol) and her triumphs were my triumphs.
i love space. i love the cyberpunkish future it painted. im such a sucker for it.
eventually my brain juices will probably balance out enough for me to really enjoy the world of mass effect again and koda will get a chance to be revived again as someone separate from myself -- and i wont repeat the same issue with my ME4 protag.
but thats my fascinating thought for like. the next month or so until i have another lol
#welcome to my ted talk lol#anyway ive been lurking for like two days and then wrote this in 20 minutes lmao
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Could I get a fluffy and maybe flirty Childe imagine set during his story quest? Instead of the Traveler and Paimon accompanying him, the reader (who works at the Northland Bank as one of Childe’s subordinates) gets slapped with the duty of babysitting Teucer and covering for Childe and his façade as a toy seller in Liyue.
"I must say that your brother is quite cute, sir."
"...I guess it must run in the family."
"Hm? Did you say something, comrade?"
"Oh. Um. Nothing, sir."
Of course, being the perceptive man he is, Childe heard all of what they said. What he ends up doing or saying to the reader? Seeing the magic you’ve worked when anon previously gave you the liberty of it, I leave it entirely up to you. :)
featuring: childe x gn!reader
warnings: a teeny bit suggestive at the end
published: april 27 2021
form: imagine
a/n: i’m gonna be real with you, i was stuck on ar35 for the longest time because i was too cowardly to level up my world so i finally did it today and i jumped from 35 to 41 T_T and now my enemies are stupidly strong. but anyways i just started the childe quest today so im just gonna stick to the part when they’re still in liyue and there’s no fighting wwww
“teucer, i swear to celestia-” you muttered under your breath, as the little redhead slipped from your grasp yet again, running ahead to go look at some kite vendors. “come back here, kid! otherwise you’re gonna be in a heck of a lot of trouble!”
earlier in the day, you were out running errands for the bank, under tartaglia’s orders, when you had come across rumors of a ruin guard running amok. figuring you would use your spare time and save some local liyue citizens the trouble of having to deal with the feral robot, you defeated the machine with efficient ease. however, in the vicinity, you discovered a lone child showing great excitement at a deactivated ruin guard, jumping and leaping while calling it “mr. cyclops” with a strange elation.
you figured the boy was snezhnayan, what with his features and clothing reminiscent of the cold climate of your homeland. but why in the world was he out by a ruin hunter all alone? he kept mentioning his brother, a toy seller in liyue, but you could think of absolutely nobody that fit that description.
so, out of the goodness of your own heart, you decided to take the little boy-- teucer, he called himself--back to liyue harbor with you, and see if you could find this older brother of his.
however, once you arrived back in the city, your plans were quickly derailed as the little brat seemed to have the attention span of a fruit fly, and was constantly trying to weasel his way into some other dangerous situation without you knowing.
“god dammit teucer”, you huffed, trying to keep up with the child. who let children have so much energy? your age must finally be catching up to you, you thought. “how about we go back to northland bank? you might like it there” you thought taking him back to your headquarters would stall the boy for enough time for you to find someone who might know the whereabouts of teucer’s brother. there weren’t too many snezhnayans in liyue--whoever his brother is, he can’t be far.
the little boy looked up at you with his big, blue puppy eyes, but you knew his act by now. “no buts, kid. if you’re lucky, we’ll be able to track down you’re brother there.” he sighed, relenting to your orders and following you back to northland bank.
the two of you climbed up the stairwell leading to the entrance of the bank on the second floor, teucer clearly dejected and pouting like a baby. exhausted, you pushed open the doors that you were so familiar with, and ushered the child inside.
much to your surprise, you see tartaglia talking with ekaterina in the lobby. it had been quite a while since you had seen your superior in person, and the surprise certainly was not unwelcome. sometimes you couldn’t stand the man’s smug attitude, yet there was something in his rogueish charisma that you simple couldnt deny attracted you to him.
teucer also seemed to be excited by this sighting of the red-headed harbinger, the little boy’s eyes lighting up with unbridled excitement.
“brother!”
wait. was tartaglia the older brother teucer had been talking about all along?
childe turned around, distracted by teucer’s voice, and upon seeing the little boy, his eyes lit up—first with surprise, then with confusion.
“teucer? what the heck are you doing here in liyue?”
he left the fatui agent with a befuddled look upon her face, and ran towards the child. teucer jumped up into his brother’s broad arms, and they grasped each other in a tight hug, like they had not seen each other for at least an eternity.
ruffling teucer’s hair, tartaglia softened, with an expression unlike anything you had really seen him wear before. he really must care about his family, you thought to yourself.
“so you’re the older brother this little tyke has been talking nonstop about”, you teased tartaglia, elbowing him in his side. “you know, he’s thrown me for a loop this entire day. i didnt think babysitting was part of the job requirement.”
the red-head chuckled abashedly, scratching his head. “sorry about that, [y/n]. the little guy can’t seem to bear being away from his favorite big brother.”
teucer laughed. he truly looked so happy to be with tartaglia again, which made you wonder what the harbinger was like when not on the job. you had known him to be a ruthless war machine, a hedonistic killer who thrived off of the rush battle and bloodshed gave him. childe could take down a dozen men, twice his size, in a matter of minutes, hardly breaking a sweat. yet seeing him interact with teucer, almost a little mini-sized version of himself, his gentleness and care surprised you. perhaps there was more to the man than you had initially thought.
teucer finally detaching himself from tartaglia, looked up at his brother with those same puppy eyes, now full of admiration. “are you here to sell toys to the liyue children, too?”, the child asked. toys? what toys could he possibly be referring to? you and ekaterina, both, looked at childe with confusion.
tartaglia stuttered for a moment. “oh! uhh— yes! yes i am! i was just talking with the nice lady, ms. ekaterina, on how many toys we can sell to all the children in liyue!” he responded, hardly missing a beat. did teucer not know what childe’s actual occupation was?
“wow! my brother really is the coolest person ever!” teucer leaped up and down, hanging onto tartaglia’s pantlegs. looking at this young, untainted innocence, you begun to understand why childe might try and shield the child from the truth.
childe detached the excitable child from his clothing, and beckoned ekaterina over. “ms. ekaterina, would you do me the grand favor of watching teucer for the rest of the day? i’d hate to burden our friend [y/n] after they have already brought him to liyue from celestia-knows-where.” he turns to teucer, telling him “big brother ajax is going to sell many, many toys now! so you need to behave yourself when i’m gone, okay? miss ekaterina will be watching you, and she’s very nice.” he pinches his brother’s cheek, teasing him lightly, and ushering him away with the fatui agent.
it’s now just you and tartaglia in the bank, as the sun was setting and all the other employees had gone home for the day. you heaved a sigh of relief, glad to be rid of baby-sitting duty, after having to deal with teucer’s antics for several hours now.
“i’m really sorry about all of that. i had no idea he would be coming, as a stowaway, no less.” the man looked at you with genuine gratitude. “i don’t want to imagine what might’ve happened to the little brat if you hadn’t been there.”
you chuckled, not quite used to seeing such sincerity coming from the harbinger. most of the time, you had been accustomed to his charismatic facade that he puts on when he becomes childe, the eleventh and one of the most dangerous members of the fatui harbingers.
“don’t worry, it really was no problem. your brother is certainly a handful, but undeniably adorable”, you said, mindlessly gathering your belongings again as you prepared to head out again. “he takes after his older brother quite a bit, i must say.”
“come again?” childe looked behind him, eyebrow cocked.
“oh— nothing. i didnt say anything”, you muttered. shit. you really need to get better at keeping your mouth shut. you refused to be known as the insolent fool with the puppy-love crush on the goddamn eleventh fatui harbinger.
“oh? that didnt really sound like nothing, my dear [y/n].” he smirked. whenever he called you “my dear”, you knew you were in for major teasing. he was definitely having fun with this. he strode towards you innocently, with that usual swagger of his, that tinted everything he did. his walk, his talk, his appearance all oozed confidence, and it was utterly intoxicating.
tartaglia now looked at you with a glint in his eye, the same look he gave enemies before he was about to utterly obliterate them. it was frightening, yet terribly alluring, and you despised how much you fell for it.
suddenly, you felt your back hit the cold, marble wall. you hadn’t even realized that tartaglia had cornered you against a gold pillar, his mere presence forcing you to unconsciously move away from him as he approached you, calculatedly. a lump growing in your throat, you couldn’t bring yourself to even utter a single word in defense, only feeling your cheeks grow hotter and your legs grow weaker.
tartaglia leaned his arm against the pillar, dangerously close to your head, effectively propping himself up with only you between him. you were far too aware of the space—or rather, the lack thereof—separating the two of you, the man’s hot breath audible in the dead, echoing silence of the golden bank.
tartaglia smirked, bringing his face close to yours. “you flatter me greatly, [y/n].” smirking, his breath grazed against your neck, his stare burning into your flesh. the way your name sounded on his lips made your breath hitched in your throat. too hot, you felt way too hot. it was impossible for a hydro user to make you feel such unbearable heat.
“seems as if your clever words aren’t of any use to you now, hmm?” you could feel the mans lips brushing against your jaw, each touch against you leaving a stinging trail. he brought his free hand to caress your own, fingers clasping yours as if you were made of a delicate porcelain, the finest kind liyue had to offer. slowly, as if dragging out each second as long as he could, tartaglia brought your hand to his lips, and planted a long, slow kiss to the back of your palm.
your eyes widened at the sheer eroticism with which he kissed your hand—an act commonly of etiquette somehow being much more lustful, even debauched when tartaglia did it. all you could feel was where his lips met your hand, the phantom burn it left, the slight string of saliva connecting his lips to your hand as he left it, the dark gaze in his eyes as he looked back up at you, clearly aware of how vulnerable you were in his grasp.
“thank you again, my dear. i hope we can continue to work together in the future.”
a/n: jesus christ this got really horny at the end LMFAO anyways i hope you like it! its kinda long but wtv
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin headcanons#genshin imagines#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin x reader#childe x reader#childe imagines#childe headcanons#tartaglia x reader#tartaglia headcanons#tartaglia imagines#childe x y/n#tartaglia x y/n
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MANAGER!SEIJOH AU
a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
anon:
- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛
- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn
EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD
okayokayokay
so this is a what if thing
like what if ushijima was your older brother
SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING
you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom
you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother
this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in
duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him
he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two
then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved
mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house
thats what brought on your love for volleyball
you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him
but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it
you liked whatever your brother liked
he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you
especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream
even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height
‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’
*insert lenny face*
AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF
CAN I PLEASE DIE
however
when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi
like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father
you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him
so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child
lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi
yall youre like 5
i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time
in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt
maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again
you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too
she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection
your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something
you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway
the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study
‘tadaima’
you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice
‘oh? y/n?’
his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand
your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there
your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago
as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking
they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that
you and your friends are like 12 tf
you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot
‘hey, papa’
you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin
‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’
you nodded
there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop
the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man
your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in
‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’
oh god of course you did
they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!
with old coach ukai
‘what did she do now?’
your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice
‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’
there was a smile in your face
your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess
she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family
obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother
‘so when are we going back?’
you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school
takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news
‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’
nah bro you didnt even care about the last part
literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked
‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’
and thus brought you back to japan
you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life
OH
your BROTHER!
okay
so waka-chan def heard you coming back
your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there
‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’
LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO
there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact
however
there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him
but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!
he would do anything in his power to do so!
when you arrived
your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around
in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’
okay wait i love grandma usui
you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms
‘nana’
you sobbed and she hugged you tightly
‘im so happy youre back home’
your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home
old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay
the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself
‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’
your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room
‘nii-chan’
you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms
you ran into them and he held you tightly
‘i missed you. so much’
he whispered and you nodded
it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again
oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young
so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you
duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her
polite but distant
due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp
there
you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun
and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend
the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu
but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful
lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap
during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager
goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY
him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well
he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately
LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI
‘y/n-chan!’
‘y/n-chan!’
‘y/n-chan!’
hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you
tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now
ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?
‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’
you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick
‘there once was a man with-’
lets just say
you were definitely your brother’s sister
sometimes though
you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki
you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing
they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength
‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’
‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’
you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<
‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’
duh a compliment from a girl?
dead
shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him
this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done
semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america
‘did you see celebrities down the street?’
he asked you excitedly one day during lunch
you stopped then smiled softly
‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’
nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities
OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI
taichi is a generally quiet guy
like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him
but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice
usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning
you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym
‘kawanishi-san?’
you called out and felt guilty when he jumped
‘oh, hey’
he aknowledged
‘wha-’
you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes
‘what are you doing?’
you tiredly asked
taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height
‘im training early’
he answered
‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’
you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression
‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’
taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart
‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’
he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin
‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’
you reasoned
he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair
‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’
yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you
usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball
maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary
his game face was practically a mean face
basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school
duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them
but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki
‘WHHYYYY!!!!’
‘NOOO!!!!!’
‘why can’t you?’
semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it
‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’
oh right
the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system
it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago
since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum
‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’
tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm
‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’
oh dear
USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA
they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter
‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’
uhhh
well
tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager
hehe
surprise?
but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team
even as a manager
meanwhile in seijohhh
OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~
okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name
therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!
you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1
and you still are their adorable baby manager
you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him
was it traitorous?
maybe
but you actually even help them when they practice
duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji
‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’
matsukawa commented and you just smiled
‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’
LMAO
little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under
there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up
BUT
you cant always be sneaky
it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting
you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly
‘TOMUTOMU!’
you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug
this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too
your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much
these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED
meanwhile
the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to
‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’
oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up
‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’
‘ill find her’
matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble
but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up
they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them
is that
you?
with
shi
ra
to
ri
za
wa
oh my god
‘y/n-chan!’
oikawa shouted, being the first to speak
you jumped and your own eyes widened
‘oh. oh no’
you mumbled
the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked
period
‘what is happening’
iwaizumi mumbled
yea the others were just shocked period
‘hey guys’
you waved and you motioned them closer
‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’
you smiled uneasily and they could see that
‘aaand?’
oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story
you sighed
‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’
you mumbled the last part
but they heard you
‘HAH?!’
you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them
‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’
you babbled
‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’
mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team
‘i came to the country late’
‘THE COUNTRY?!’
well,,
turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/
even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything
they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,
they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou
‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’
‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’
wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy
‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’
makki said and they nodded
it was true
you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team
so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka
you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile
‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’
watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus
‘yea. lets go home’
as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum
‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’
oikawa whined and pouted
but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head
‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’
oikawa didnt seem satisfied though
‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’
iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it
well
you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously
‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’
oikawa screamed
a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!! imagines#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! headcanons#aoba johsai#aoba johsai x reader#aoba josai x reader#aoba josai#seijoh#aoba johsai imagines#aoba josai imagines#seijoh imagines#seijoh manager#haikyuu manager#haikyuu!! manager#aoba johsai manager#aoba josai manager#seijoh x reader#aoba johsai headcanons#aoba josai headcanons#seijoh headcanons#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu!! fluff#aoba johsai fluff#seijoh fluff#aoba josai fluff
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Hello, i wrote some asks last year about how to get started on practise and you helped me lots with the resources you offer!
I also bought your WAP shirt and its one of my favorites, it always makes me grin and feel fuzzy (in the sense of both a warm fuzzy feeling and a fuzzy feeling like a swarm of bees hiding under my skin).
Not really an ask but i just wanted to share my joy with you because you have been such a great help and this is my way of saying thanks!
I often feel Loki the strongest when drawing and plotting and for a while i felt inhibited by some of the more chaotic vibes he gave off at first. I’ve come to love those spouts of „Hey so how about this batshit thing i came up with?“ It gets strongest when drawing a certain character who i think now was Loki in disguise. Its one of my oldest OCs and he‘s my dearly beloved bastard child. Rattiest bastard boy (most affectionate). Loki doesnt always pop up when drawing him, but chances are higher when i do, i think he feels the love. Another way to spend time with him i found is dedicating my drawing sessions to him, maybe even trying to draw him. Its adorable in a way that doesnt infantilize him if that makes sense. Like looking at a loved person doing something dumb but oh so endearing. I love him.
What i wanted to say though is, while Loki likes to visit when im drawing i am starting to feel Odins presence more clearly when i write, which, yay! I think Odin coming over more also has a lot to do with me shaking off shame about my being curious as fuck. I always wanted to know things. The world, its inner workings, people, everything. I want to know it all. But i have been made to feel bad about this most of my life and that flame of passion was reduced to embers for a while so now that its coming back i do sometimes feel a pat on my back, like a silent I‘m proud of you that makes me feel so light and seen.
I asked Odin to aid me with getting my ADHD diagnosis, because at that point I had tried unsuccessfully to get it for two years. Fast forward six (6) (!) months and i have a diagnosis for ADD, so of course i had to say thanks. My trying to overcome the shame of being told over and over again that im too curious for my own good and that im a failure must have made him soften up, it feels like hes guiding me back to my roots by helping me get the diagnosis that makes it possible for me to see my intrinsic worth again. Im not a failure, just someone with a condition no one knew i had for 30 years. Its not that i dont know how to human, i can human, and excell at that, but not by imitating a conventional path but by making my own path, by getting back to the state of constant wonder and curiosity and giving in to the urge to learn and find as much knowledge as possible, by not taking knowledge how its presented but by experimenting, by asking questions myself and not digest what others have chewed and i think those are things i got the pats on my back for, for trying to find my way back to myself.
Growing up catholic hurt. Even though nothing was ever directly done to me the things i was taught, the things i discovered about the roman catholic church just didn‘t sit right with me and it hurt. So bad. The world view presented just seemed so dire. Add to that that i never felt close to all this, didnt see myself anywhere there. It felt weird hearing others say they can feel their god, because i had never felt anything like it and it seemed somewhat delusional, i just couldnt grasp the How. Enter the norse Gods lmao. The first time i felt Thor i was like, motherfuck, so thats how its supposed to feel?! Asking him for company when i feel hopeless and ACTUALLY feeling his presence shortly after?! Asking Loki to come visit and FEELING HIM THERE?! Inviting Odin and promptly getting deep into the writing zone with some galaxy brain thoughts out of seemingly nowhere?! All while nudging me to be more me and encouraging that which i was told was sinful at church? As someone who wished for spirituality early on because i just felt there was something more but couldnt find it anywhere near church and in turn feeling a weird void in a part of my life then meeting the norse gods was like rehabilitation. I can feel myself heal when they visit. This feeling is so precious.
I can feel them guide me more and more and the more i shake off what hurt me the clearer their presence grows, its fucking crazy and im all here for it.
Its also crazy how distinct they all feel. Well, mostly, sometimes discerning if i feel Odin or Loki is harder but for the most part they want to be told apart. Sometimes it because they decided to visit simultaneously.
Thank you for pointing me to (your) resources, you gifted me a lot of tools to forge my own way. Im having the best time because of it and i just wanted to share with you the joy and the love i found on paths of my own making, with tools and tips you among others lend me. In that vein: i love the way you give help without making rules and that this is something you take seriously. Last year i had hoped for a more detailed guide and now i see it was exactly as clear as its supposed to be: fucking vague :D and for each person to figure out themself. Its hard, but its necessary, with a handy guide i dont think i could have realized how deeply the urge to Know has been overshadowed by shame and guilt and i dont think i would have been able to tackle it if i had gotten a play-by-play (which reminds me too much of christian doctrine anyway, so away with it lol). if you only follow a list you dont have to think for yourself and thats what, ultimately, matters. Doing your own work, working on yourself, working on your relationships be it the spiritual ones or the personal ones, being present.
Long story short, i love my Gods so much. They only add to my life and they encourage me being unapologetically me and in turn make me love Life more. Be it in the people, in nature or within myself. I finally feel like i can be human without feeling unworthy of godly love. I am loved. And in return i can love even more freely than before.
Thank you and im sorry for this wall of text I’D
I'm so happy to hear you're finding your rhythm and having a good time! It brings me so much joy. <3
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beneath the moon. (sokka x f!reader) pt3
hello and thank u for all ur support with this story!!! i couldnt do it without u guys :) pls enjoy!!
pt1
pt2
pt4
(Y/N) reached her igloo and walked to her room, stalking past Yue in the process. “Your boyfriend’s looking for you,” (Y/N) said before she entered her room and slammed the door shut. She flopped onto her bed and buried her face in her pillows.
(Y/N) was surprised to see Katara enter the hut where her healing lessons were held, the expression on her face deeply agitated. She spotted (Y/N) immediately and took a seat beside her, crossing her arms. (Y/N) raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?” She whispered as the instructor, Yugoda, spoke.
“That horrible waterbending master won’t teach me because I’m a girl,” Katara whispered back harshly. (Y/N) blinked at her.
“I could’ve told you that,” She said. “Women in our tribe aren’t allowed to do anything other than healing.”
“But that’s ridiculous!” (Y/N) nodded sadly.
“I’ve tried for years and they won’t let me. And I’m a princess,” She sighed. “I thought Master Pakku might give an outsider a chance, but I guess I was wrong.” She noticed Katara’s solemn expression and gave her an awkward smile. “Yue promised that when she’s chief, she’ll change that!”
“But I don’t have time to wait for Yue to become chief,” Katara whispered. The lesson ended before (Y/N) could say more. She stood at Katara’s side as she thanked Yugoda for the lesson.
“So who’s the lucky boy?” The healer asked, gesturing to Katara’s necklace. Katara looked at (Y/N), confused.
“Your betrothal necklace,” (Y/N) explained. “I assumed you were getting married to the Avatar.” Katara’s face paled as she shook her head quickly.
“Absolutely not!” She exclaimed. “My grandmother gave this to my mother, who passed it on to me.”
“I don’t know why I didn’t realize it sooner,” Yugoda gasped. “You look just like Kanna.”
“You knew Gran-Gran?” Yugoda nodded.
“She and I were friends when I was your age. She was born here, in the Northern Water Tribe.” Both (Y/N) and Katara’s eyes widened.
“She never told me that,” Katara said. Her fingers instinctively wrapped around her necklace.
“She had an arranged marriage with a young waterbender. He carved her that necklace.”
“If she was engaged, why did she leave?” Yugoda shrugged.
“She never told me. She left without saying goodbye.” (Y/N) and Katara bid their goodbyes to the instructor before walking out the hut.
“I wish Yue would take a page out of your Gran-Gran’s book,” (Y/N) grumbled as their boots crunched in the snow. Katara looked at her, confused.
“What do you mean?”
“Yue’s engaged to one of the worst boys in our entire tribe,” (Y/N) explained. “She’s only doing it for the good of the tribe, but sometimes I wish she’d put herself first.”
“It’s very admirable of her to do that,” Katara said. (Y/N) remained silent.
Sometimes she wondered if she was a selfish person, for wanting to put her own goals and dreams ahead of her tribe’s. She loved her home but sometimes she felt like an outcast in her own house. The only person who really understood her was Yue, but she would never think of ever leaving their tribe. It made (Y/N) feel guilty for daydreaming of a life beyond the icy shores of the Northern Pole.
She parted ways with Katara and ventured into the city. As she walked around the canals, she heard a voice call her name. (Y/N) turned around to see Sokka running toward her, a bright smile on his face.
“I don’t know where my sister is,” (Y/N) said once he had reached her. She continued her walk. Sokka fell in step beside her.
“I wasn’t looking for your sister, I was looking for you.” He rummaged around his pocket and pulled out a small piece of wood. “Do you think your sister would like this?”
She squinted her eyes to scrutinize it. “Is it a fish?” Sokka pulled it away from her, giving her a bright grin.
“I knew you can tell what it is! Katara said it didn’t even look like an animal.” He shrugged. “Whatever, Yue will get it. I hear you’re a waterbender, is your sister one too?”
“No, she isn’t.” (Y/N) held her chin high to maintain her regal appearance as she and Sokka rounded the corner.
“That’s fantastic! I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being a bender, but I’m not one either.”
“Congratulations,” She said in a monotonous tone. She hoped that if she kept giving him short answers, he would leave her alone.
“Do you happen to know what her favorite flowers are? Do flowers grow here?” (Y/N) sighed and stopped in her place, turning to face Sokka. He towered over her, but she could see him gulp as he stared at her. Being the youngest daughter of the chief, (Y/N) had mastered intimidation tactics.
“Look. I understand that you’re head over heels for my sister. Get in line, there isn’t a single guy in this tribe who isn’t. But if you’re only going to talk to me to just get to know her better, I’d appreciate it if you never talked to me again.” She stormed off in the direction of her igloo.
She had dealt with people like Sokka her entire life. Yue was a wonderful person, blessed with beauty and kindness. People had always adored her. But what infuriated (Y/N) was when people only got close to her to get closer to Yue. It was like they saw her as a stepping stone on the way to her sister’s approval. It was moments like these that she wished she knew more waterbending moves, so she could take out her anger on a glacier.
(Y/N) reached her igloo and walked to her room, stalking past Yue in the process. “Your boyfriend’s looking for you,” (Y/N) said before she entered her room and slammed the door shut. She flopped onto her bed and buried her face in her pillows. She tried to push down the sting she felt as not being acknowledged as her own person. She was always “Yue’s sister,” or “The Chief’s youngest daughter.” (Y/N) had never been herself to anyone else.
She sat up, continuously pressing down the tears that threatened to spill. Reaching under her bed, she pulled out her paints and papers. She retrieved her easel from her closet and positioned it in front of the window that faced the horizon. (Y/N) began painting, stroking blues and greys and blacks onto the canvas. By the time she finished her painting of the glaciers, the sun was nearly set.
(Y/N) jumped as Yue entered her room without knocking. She turned around to see her on the verge of tears. (Y/N) rushed to her side, wrapping her arms around her shoulders as she guided her to sit on the bed. “What happened?” she demanded as she kneeled at her sister’s side.
“It’s Sokka,” Yue cried. She wiped away her tears with the sleeves of her robe.
“Did he hurt you?” (Y/N) asked. Yue shook her head furiously.
“No! Goodness, no. He’s amazing and so sweet, and I feel so happy when I’m with him, but I’m engaged to Hahn. I can’t disrespect him like that.” Her hands reached up to touch the betrothal necklace he had carved for her. (Y/N) frowned.
“I wish you’d follow your heart,” (Y/N) sighed. Yue’s bottom lip quivered.
“I think you were right,” Yue whispered. She grasped (Y/N’s) hand tightly. “But I’m scared it’s too late.”
“You’re the princess, Yue. You have the power to do whatever you want to do.”
“I don’t want to disrespect the tribe.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes.
“The tribe will get over it. Everyone adores you.” She booped her sister’s nose. “Whatever decision you make, I’ll support you no matter what.”
Yue swallowed another sob. “Do you promise?” She held out her pinky. (Y/N) hooked it with her own.
“I promise.”
(Y/N) and Yue had been awoken by their mother early the next morning. They threw on their clothes and walked down to the common room, where the Chief met with his people to help them with their issues. Her father was already there, speaking to both Katara and Pakku.
“What do you want me to do?” Her father asked of Katara. “Force Master Pakku to take Aang back as his student?” (Y/N’s) brows furrowed. She was missing an important detail. When had Aang not been Pakku’s student? What had happened since the last time she had seen Katara?
“Yes, please!” Katara begged.
“He might change his mind,” The Chief conceded, “If you apologize to him.” Katara gritted her teeth.
“Fine.” Pakku stared down at her smugly, with his arms crossed.
“I’m waiting, little girl.” Katara’s frowned deepened as she shook her head.
“No. I’m not apologizing to a sour old man like you!” Katara exclaimed. The pots of water that surrounded them began to crack. “I’ll be outside if you’re man enough to fight me.” The girl stormed off as Yue gasped. (Y/N) wore a bright smile on her face.
“Finally, something exciting!” She exclaimed.
“I’m sure she didn’t mean that,” Aang assured the Chief. Sokka gulped.
“I think she did.”
(Y/N) darted outside before the others, her family and Aang and Sokka trailing closely behind. Her mother grabbed onto her arm before she could get too close to the battle.
“Stay here,” Her mother insisted. “It’s too dangerous.” (Y/N) let out an exaggerated sigh, but obeyed. She watched as Katara and Pakku began battling. Her own hands itched to control water like they could. She tried to repeat some of the moves that they were making, but her father looked at her disapprovingly.
(Y/N) was impressed to see Katara holding her own against Master Pakku. She leaned over to speak to Aang. “Do you think she’ll win?”
He looked at her, a worried expression on his face. “I don’t think so. But Katara’s strong, she’ll fight until the end.” (Y/N’s) eyes analyzed every single one of Katara’s movements. It was obvious she was a fighter, and a skilled one at that. (Y/N’s) heart sank. She wanted to be like Katara.
Their fight finished as Pakku picked up Katara’s necklace. “This is mine,” He said quietly. Katara, locked in ice, thrashed against her holdings.
“No it’s not! It’s mine, give it back!”
“I made this, sixty years ago, for the love of my life,” Pakku explained. The ice holding Katara melted back into water.
“My grandmother was supposed to marry you?” Pakku nodded.
“I made her this necklace when we got engaged. I thought we would have a long, happy life together. I loved her.”
Katara’s face softened. “But she didn’t love you, did she? It was an arranged marriage. Gran-Gran wouldn't let your tribe's stupid customs run her life. That's why she left.”
“That must have taken a lot of courage,” (Y/N) said. Yue’s breath caught on a sob. She darted away from the group, Sokka running after her.
Pakku handed Katara her necklace, straightening himself and holding his chin high. “Very well, Katara. You have proven yourself as an excellent waterbender. You may join my lessons.”
Katara grinned at Aang and (Y/N), who cheered excitedly for her. “Master Pakku!” (Y/N) said as she ran up to him. “May I join your lessons with Katara, please? I promise I’ll be just as dedicated as any waterbender you’ve ever had!”
“(Y/N’s) the best at all of her healing lessons,” Katara added. “There’s not any more she can learn from them!”
Pakku stared at (Y/N) for a moment before turning back to look at her father. Her own eyes trailed back to her dad, whose anger was apparent on his face. “Absolutely not,” The Chief said decisively.
“But Father-”
“You are a princess of the Northern Water Tribe. You know our customs and will adhere to them.” She opened her mouth to defend herself once more, but her father turned around and ignored her.
(Y/N) looked at Katara. The shock on her face told her that she hadn’t anticipated their conversation going that way, either. (Y/N’s) eyes remained downcast as she walked back up to her igloo with her family, hot tears melting the snow at her feet.
---
Tag List!
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#atla#the last airbender#sokka x reader#zuko x reader#aang x reader#katara#toph#aang#sokka#zuko#azula#momo#iroh#appa#writing#fanfiction
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ive spent all day reading your dbd fic and i have sooooo many feelings about all of them that i dont even know how to put into words. your grasp on the characters is just so incredible, there were characters i didnt know or care about who i now absolutely love and would do anything for purely because of how you wrote them and made me connect to them. i've been reading a lot of dbd fic despite only having played (and failed at) one entire game, and your characterisations will always be my gold star i think, no other has ever seemed to capture the characters so genuinely in a way that doesn't just also excuse their actions, i love how indepth you go into the moral ambiguity of it all. either way, out of all the fandoms im in no other fics have ever just made me actually feel so much, made me physically ache and hurt with what's happening to these characters.
i also really love your character interactions, found family is my all time favourite trope it makes me all gooey and tender even when its also angsty and made me cry like your anna fic did (my mom 😭). also love the dumb teenage antics and interactions between joey & quentin in both their fics, and im also ridiculously invested in them now when before i couldnt tell one legion from the other 😭 i already loved quentin from watching noes but your joey pov and the glimpses into his psyche and history and feelings has won me over too.
ive also set aside my entire weekend to read and absorb and analyse and contemplate and ponder in living memory, im beyond excited 😌😌😌 sorry for this ramble i was just emo
TuT God this is all so sweet I have no idea how to respond! Thank you! 😭💙
I am so glad you enjoy how I write my kids! Character is my favorite story element (surprising no one I’m sure lol), so I am always thrilled when people like how I do that! TuT ahhhh that’s so sweet; thank you! And I am really happy tou enjoyed my like, secondary humanity & virtue ethics study threads—dbd is /such/ a complicated and intricate situation for the charcaters in it, and there’s just so much fascinating black and white and so much grey to just kind of try to think about. Any individual living through either role in the realm would just have so much awful shit to unpack, and god even being one of the sympathetic killers even if you were lile, Rin and had no control, or Adiris and lied to, it would be so hard to get over or through what you did and experienced and even know /how/ to move on. I really like realism and complex character study, so I was living getting to just dig into personal journies for 20+ major charcaters. AH and I am so happy you really enjoyed that side of it in particular too! It’s one I only hear people bring up every so often and I am always ecstatic.
Seriously, thank you so much. Knowing I was able to create that level of emotional impact is priceless to me. TuT💙💙💙 Thank you. And I am glad you like the Found Family! Damn if that isn’t just the best ever trope. ^u^ 💙 I love it. Life really just kind of is all about hope and trying to become a better person each day and learning to know and love and forgive yourself and do the same with the people you gravitate to who are worth it and find you worth it and become the family you both deserved I cry. 😭 Ahhhh and Half-Life! That one messed me up too but god, she’s trying and they’re both so awkward and uncertain and sad but sweet and trying. Eeehhh, yeah! The JoeyQuin fics are so fun to write they vibe so well, and I am so happy you’re invested in them!!! Me too bro, haha. I am working on NDF rn because I really want to update it’s been too long. TuT
AH!!! A fellow NOES2010 fan! Bless; loved him in that too. I am so glad you love my son and I hope you continue to get the best of times watching the poor boy try to do his absolute best while suffering. 😭 Love him.
Also WHOA, holy shit! I wish you the best of luck, but don’t push yourself! ILM is a fucking /long-ass/ fic, and while I know someone read it in two days once, I truly live in awe of anyone who did it in two weeks or less. Godspeed however it goes speed wise though, and thank you so much for this incredible comment, and I hope you enjoy! 💙💙💙 Seriously I cannot thank you enough for giving me such a meaningful and sweet message to read and taking time out of your life/day to brighten mine. It means more than I properly know how to express.
Goodnight, and I hope you enjoy ILM! I think it’s my favorite thing I’ve ever written.
#ask#anonymous#bless thank you so much bro TuT this is priceless#also pelase don’t die trying to read all of ILM in 3 days I know an ADHD god did it in two days once so it /can/ be done#but also ILM is the 7th longest completed work in the english language so don’t die#ahhhh!! i am so happy you’re checking it out! i hope you like it!#all my love to long ago aka to that bigass fic I love with all my heart#dead by daylight#in living memory (fic)#in living memory
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Into the Deep End
Newt didn’t know what possessed him to come.
Maybe it was to see for himself that the most dangerous Dark wizard is properly locked up behind a cage. To assure that the man who had done horrible, despicable things had been properly apprehended; that there was no chance for Gellert Grindelwald to hurt another person.
But it wasn’t because of that.
Righteous, good intentions aside, Newt is terribly curious of this man.
A wizard of great power and influence, of genius and charm that attracts people enough to become his fanatics. A wizard of whose past is intertwined with Albus Dumbledore.
Newt stands there, in the bowels of MACUSA’s holding cells, practicing long acquired skills of stealth to sneak around unnoticed by the guards assigned just for a single—but incredibly dangerous—wizard.
He’d left his creatures with Queenie, not quite trusting but the alternative of leaving his creatures unguarded for any span of time was unbearable. The memory of his case being impounded was still entirely too fresh and a wave of fear at the mere thought made him a bit more paranoid.
Easily getting past the guards, Newt is surprised to find that nothing else is set up as defense. A superficial scan of the wards told him why. They had focused too much on keeping someone in rather than putting just as much effort in keeping unwanted people out. As it stands, Newt wouldn’t have any problems going in as long as he was careful.
It seems finding the cell he wanted wouldn’t be an issue. All the cells are unoccupied except for one.
He stops right in front of it, a frown knotting at his forehead still quite unsure why he had risked sneaking into one of the most guarded part of MACUSA. Pardoned he may be for smuggling his creatures and risking the Statute, he is still on thin ice.
“I don’t suppose staring into nothing would solve your problems, Mister Scamander.”
The voice is raspy and hoarse but lacking none of its confident lilt. Even with a heavily protected door between them, Grindelwald is every bit the wizard who had taunted and tortured him in the subway. Absently, Newt noted that a silencing charm was not one of the spells cast on the cells.
With a side glance to where he had come from, Newt cast a privacy charm around them, one that wouldn’t interfere with the wards.
The silence from the other side of the door was quite unnerving but even then, Newt doesn’t say anything. He stood there, arms crossed and hunched over, staring at the door separating him and Grindelwald.
Newt wonders why he could not muster fear or anger at the man who had taken his creatures away from him no matter how short of a time it had been. Wonders why there’s nothing but curiosity for a man who caused so much unneeded violence.
I’m not one of Grindelwald’s fanatics, he had said to the man. And he wasn’t. But a part of him always had been curious what made them fanatics. There has to be a reason why a single wizard could amass such a following.
Then, quite sudden and out of the blue, laughter full of mirth rang from the other side. It’s surprising, and the malevolent undercurrent of it made Newt shudder unconsciously.
“I seem to have underestimated you, Mister Scamander. But, ah, I see it now; what makes Albus Dumbledore so fond of you. Is there anything you wouldn’t do for your creatures?” Here, Newt scowls but still doesn’t talk. “I’ve seen what you do for them, walked through their homes and admired how seamlessly they exist. Danger doesn’t seem to be a word you adhere to.”
There’s a bitter aftertaste in his mouth as he swallowed when reminded by the fact the man had trampled over his case—his home. Nothing had been out of place when he had checked, not even the obscurus Grindelwald had taken out.
“I think it’s time for you to go now.” Newt could hear the smile from the man’s tone of voice. “We will meet again.”
It’s six months before Gellert Grindelwald made his presence known again.
Newt isn’t the least bit surprised the man had managed to escape. What does surprise him is when he finds a herd of thestrals loitering about in the street near his home in London. There’s a young chimaera too, affectionate enough that it lets Newt near without fuss.
“Hello, little one.” Newt coos as it climbs up to his shoulder. It leans on his fingers when he reached up to pet it. Pickett curiously peeks out from the lapel of his coat and climbs up to where the chimaera had settled. They had a staring contest before Pickett huffed and settled back down to his favorite place.
Newt chuckles affectionately, “Pickett seems to like you well enough. Now who might you be?” A small scrap of parchment is stuck on its back and Newt quickly reads it.
His name is Antonio. Keep him with you.
You may do as you please with the thestrals.
The handwriting is unfamiliar. He couldn’t think of anyone who would send him anything of the sort and it’s more than suspicious. Perhaps he should send word to Theseus at the least. But contact with his brother isn’t something he wanted to do unless it was absolutely needed.
“You weren’t sent by someone bad, were you?” Newt asked of the thestrals and Antonio.
The small chimaera merely made a high pitched guttural sound at the back of its throat in response.
Newt smiles before clicking his tongue, calling the attention of the thestrals nosing curiously at the potted plants of the neighboring houses. He frowns when he noticed how thin they looked—thinner than how a thestral should be.
“Oh you poor dears,” Newt sighed, nuzzling one of the creatures. “We should get you somewhere more suitable for your needs.”
He leads them to his home where he had spent months in when the Ministry sanctioned his travelling ban. It’s roomier than his case but Newt missed being able to travel, being able to set his creatures free to where they belong instead of cooped up in a beautiful cage.
They may be replications of their home but it was a cage nonetheless.
A cold nose nudged his cheek and Newt smiled wryly. He can’t keep a herd of thestrals in his home. Perhaps he could send them to Hogwarts once they’re in perfect health.
It’s another month before the monotony of scouring through London and getting rid of his tails was broken when Antonio—who had taken residence on his person just as much as Pickett had—suddenly jumped down from his pocket and ran through the streets.
Newt, already used to such behavior from his other creatures, quickly scampered off to follow the chimaera.
He manage to catch up to the creature near an alley and had only managed to cradle him close to his chest, ready to scold him running off, when a hand grabbed his shoulder and the familiar feeling of apparation swallowed him.
They appear on a rooftop of some building, the wind whipping away at his overcoat.
“I did say we will meet again, Mister Scamander.”
Newt barely managed to cover a flinch of surprise but he does back away from the voice. Standing before him, head tilted to the side, is Gellert Grindelwald. There’s no trace of the months he spent in MACUSA’s custody.
It hits him that this is the first time he sees the Dark Lord as himself. Nothing in the Dark wizard’s face or body but the mask of Gellert Grindelwald. There’s nothing to blindside Newt this time, nothing to defend himself with, no barriers of any kind. Except, perhaps, Newt’s own ignorance.
The other wizard seems to be waiting for a response so Newt composes himself, “You did say that.”
In his hands, Antonio wriggles about and peeks up at Newt and then to Grindelwald. To his bemusement, Grindelwald reaches out a hand. “May I?”
Newt stares, unsure for a moment, before he realizes what the Dark Lord wanted. Instinctively, Newt lets Antonio out of his grasp, watching as the little chimaera crawled over to Grindelwald’s hand willingly. It was strange, seeing the intimidating wizard holding the creature carefully.
“I’m glad to see you’ve kept Antonio.” Grindelwald lifted the creature to Newt’s shoulder and let it go. “I’m afraid I can’t keep such a needy creature with me.”
Indignation churned in his gut but Newt tempered it down, focusing instead on the realization that Grindelwald had been the one who sent Antonio and the thestrals. He had to be cautious with what he says to the wizard. He says instead, “Antonio had been a good companion.”
Grindelwald hums, “I can see that.”
“What was it you needed with me?” Newt finally asked, absently petting Pickett and then Antonio.
“Nothing.”
Newt furrows his brows and looked closer at the other wizard. “Yet.”
A smirk tugged at Grindelwald’s lips. “Nothing yet, yes. When the time comes, you will give it to me.”
Newt had no idea what it is. But the conviction in the Dark Lord’s voice kept him from asking. It was curious how despite being cautious, there was no immediate urge to flee. Even lesser was the urge to interfere with whatever the wizard is planning.
“Until we meet again, Newton.”
There was a possibility that Newt refused the Ministry’s deals because he couldn’t seem to muster up the will to fight against the Dark Lord.
He had seen how the man fought, had been in close enough proximity to say that he could not repeat what he had done in that subway months ago. Not for the lack of trying but for the certainty that Grindelwald wouldn’t commit the same mistake twice.
“There would come a time that everyone—everyone—has got to pick a side. Even you.” Theseus had said.
I don’t do sides. He doesn’t. Especially now.
Newt knew that travelling to Paris isn’t such a good idea.
But with Credence alive, Newt couldn’t appease his conscience quite well. And even then, he had to clear things up with Tina.
Going to Paris isn’t such a good idea but Newt will do it anyway. And, glancing at Jacob who was recounting his and Queenie’s romance in the last year, Newt wouldn’t deny the speck of happiness at the familiarity of the situation. He missed his friends and he missed venturing out of the country. This time, hopefully, there wouldn’t be adrenaline of a chase and troubles of Dark Lords.
But considering who and what Credence is, Newt wouldn’t count on it.
The moment Antonio started fussing, Newt knew what was coming.
“Hey Newt-”
“I-I’m sorry Jacob,” Newt turns around to face Jacob, causing the other man to stop in his tracks. “But could you please, uh, hold this for moment-” He hands him the feather that they are using to track Tina, now encased in a clear box.
Jacob takes it with a puzzled expression. “Okay…”
“Yes thank you,” Newt tries to smile. “I’ll be back in a jiffy. Stay here. Or, uh, actually, you can find a café to stay at. I’ll find you.”
Then he walks over to an alley before letting Antonio scamper up his shoulder. “Where to now?”
With the squeaked directions from the little chimaera, Newt finds himself outside a house. He steps up to knock on the door and was greeted by a striking woman.
They look at each other, the woman sizing him up before inclining her head with an unreadable though pleasant expression. “Come in, Mister Scamander.”
Newt does so, brushing off the surprise at her knowing his name. “Thank you.” He muttered.
There’s a surprised gasp from inside and Newt turns to its direction.
“Newt?” Then he was engulfed in a hug that had him shifting in discomfort even as he recognized Queenie’s golden curls and soft voice. “Oh I’m so glad you’re here. It’s been so awful. Is Jacob with you? I’m so sorry I didn’t know what else to do.”
He pats her back awkwardly, spying the black haired French woman smirking at them.
“What – what are you doing here Queenie?” Newt asked as Queenie finally let him go, a niggle of worry finally settling in his stomach.
Her distressed frown brightened up into a smile as she gestures at the woman, “I was lost and she helped me. She’s been so kind to me but I uh…” Her face fell and dismay colored her voice. “You don’t happen to know where Tina is, do you?”
Newt’s shake of head wasn’t really needed but he still did so.
You need to leave.
“Oh, why do I-”
“Newton,” Newt turned just as Queenie drew her wand.
“You stay right there,” Queenie bit out, unconsciously pulling Newt behind her. “I know what you are.”
“Queenie.” Grindelwald strode nearer, arms raised to show that he is harmless. It doesn’t quite work but the man doesn’t put it down. “We’re not here to hurt you.” The man titled his head. “Nor will we harm Newton.”
Newt closed his eyes, resigned that he’s too late to have Queenie escape.
Please put your wand down, Newt spoke in his mind clearly. He may not know what the Dark Lord has planned but Newt didn’t want to aggravate the man though he seems to be more amused than anything else. Pleased, even.
Queenie’s stance wavered and she turned to him, confusion and betrayal clear on her face.
“It’s not what it looks like.” Newt whispered. This seems to amuse Grindelwald even further so Newt turns his attention to him. “Please let her go.”
“We will,” Grindelwald appeased but satisfaction lurked behind his mismatched eyes. “We only wish protect the innocent. To let her know that we are here to help.” His attention drifts to Queenie who is trembling. “It is not your fault that your sister is an auror. I wish she were working with me now to a world where every witch and wizard is able to live however they want. To love freely.”
Before Newt’s eyes, he sees Queenie’s resolve waver. She looks at him, a desperate attempt to keep her head straight. But even Newt isn’t sure what to believe so he grips her hand and moved his gaze away from her.
I’m sorry was all he could think.
“Go now,” Grindelwald said. “Leave this place.”
Obediently, they did.
Queenie tags along as Newt returns to Jacob.
They have a tearful reunion, both apologizing for their actions (and thoughts on Jacob’s part). But Grindelwald’s influence had taken root. Newt can see the determination in Queenie’s eyes.
He smiles, though, because Queenie and Jacob clearly belonged together.
A man passed by and the feather they had been following earlier that day ruffled excitedly and pointed at the man. Newt let it free, watching as the feather zoomed past them and back onto the man’s hat.
“Come on.” Newt muttered as he followed the man.
His reunion with Tina wasn’t quite as touching as Jacob and Queenie’s.
They manage to get Mr. Kama out of the sewers with them and the Zouwu safely inside his case. When they settled in the safe place professor Dumbledore had given him the address to, Queenie had finally gotten irritated enough at the tension between them.
“Tina!” Queenie huffed, glaring at her stoic sister. “Newt here was going to say something important.”
Newt froze from his spot halfway down his case. He slowly turns his gaze up at Queenie’s expectant look to Tina’s equally as expectant look.
“You really are sisters.” He blurted out, nerves having caught up with him. Somewhere in the room, Jacob purses his lips and palms his face. Queenie glared at Newt. “I- I’m sorry. I-” Queenie tapped her foot in impatience. “I wasn’t uh, there had been a misunderstanding, Tina. It’s my brother- Theseus and Leta are the ones who are going to get married.”
Queenie’s happy clap was the only noise heard in the silence filled room. Newt took the opportunity to go down his case to take care of the Zouwu.
Newt sees Credence again in the Lestrange Mausoleum.
It’s only him and Tina this time, having left Queenie and Jacob to guard Mr. Kama. Though they seem to have been unsuccessful.
There’s tension in the air, one born from familial disagreements. Newt felt distinctly out of place as Leta told her story, feeling as if he was encroaching on something he shouldn’t know. It doesn’t shed light to who Credence is and the look of disappointment in the boy caused sympathy to twist his heart.
His attention is broken by Antonio wiggling out of his pocket.
“Antonio?”
His startled whisper called everyone’s attention. Newt followed Antonio to where a passage opened at his touch. The chimaera croaked and scampered up his shoulder and settled there, anticipation making him absolutely still.
Beyond the revealed passageway was a large gathering of wizards and witches.
At once, Newt realized Grindelwald’s plan.
The fire of protego diabolica burned brightly as it danced to the whims of the Dark Lord.
Aurors who were unable to protect themselves got burned, dying with piercing screams that cut off as the curse ate them away.
Newt watched with a horrified fascination, following the motions of his brother as they defended against the flames. Queenie and Jacob were ways away and he could see her crying, screaming at Jacob in despair.
At the other side, Credence makes his way to the flames, barely held back by the maledictus.
Newt is rooted in his spot, watching as Credence crossed over, Grindelwald greeting him with wide arms. His eyes are drawn to Queenie, anguish and desperation clear on her face as she crossed over the blue flames. Their eyes meet and Newt lets out a huff, half hysteric and half resignation.
“Newton,” Everyone seemed to pause at the call. Newt heard Theseus’s breath hitch and felt the way his brother’s hand gripped his arm tighter. “It’s time, I should think.”
Newt clutches his eyes shut, taking in deep breaths as he gripped his case tighter.
“What does he-” Newt pulls away from Theseus’s hold. “Newt don’t!”
He avoids look at anyone, feeling Tina, Leta, and Theseus’s eyes burning at him. Grindelwald’s expectant, triumphant gaze seemed to be the only thing that doesn’t burn. Antonio is purring as his shoulder and Newt reaches up to pet him.
With surprisingly steady gait, Newt walks down the steps.
Time seemed to slow and the distance between him and the platform seemed to be longer than it looks.
“Newt!”
Newt pauses and turns to his brother only to have the flames come between them. Between Newt and everyone.
Leta pulls Theseus back and Newt catches her eyes. For the first time in years, Newt smiles at her. “Please take care of him.”
Then he walked away, towards Grindelwald’s expectant gaze. This time it seemed faster than it should. The flames are warm, comforting even as his heart broke at the screams of his name.
He doesn’t stop walking until he stands close to Grindelwald. So close that there was barely space between them. Antonio jumps from his perch on Newt’s shoulder over to Grindelwald’s. The Dark Lord reaches up and cradles Newt’s face in his palm.
Smugness and triumph swirled behind mismatched eyes.
And then they were gone.
#fantastic beasts and where to find them#grindelnewt#fbcog#fanfic#one shot#lmao i haven't updated shit but i made this#cross posted in ao3
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{“Idol”Inspired AUs} Namjoon, Jimin & Jungkook
*these are based on the video, and in no means are meant to be super serious. they’re just things i came up with so enjoy ^^
Namjoon
a self made tech billionaire
built an application that allows you to alter your appearance. kind of like applying filters to real life and not just in photos
people have praised him for being a genius, for creating something that had only been heard about in science fiction
while others criticized him for perpetuating the idea of idolized beauty
namjoon, who had read all the articles both worshiping and crucifying him
doesn’t care either way
he throws the newspapers down and pushes back his chair in his office that towers above seoul
in a billion dollar building he bought for himself
his investors are calling him, asking if the stocks are safe
if the bad publicity is going to make the app sink
if this whole ‘make yourself look like an idol!’ scheme isn’t going to work out in the end
but namjoon takes the phone that rings and smashes it to pieces on the floor of his office
he gets up, looking at himself in his mirror
adjusting his cufflinks and straightening his tie
people call him a mogul - a entrepreneur
other people call him a liar - a leech
you,,,,on the other hand
sitting on his couch, tinkering with something in your hands doesnt call him anything
he doesn’t know why
you’ve been the head engineer for his application since he had thought of it in graduate school
you were his classmate, you had quit your degree to follow him down this rabbithole
and yet
not once had you ever ,,,,,,, shown him anything more than neutral
nothing past a straight lipped smile for the executives. nothing but a casual shrug of your shoulder
all other people threw themselves at his feet
or aimed the knife at his neck
his own employees either saw him as a god or as a pig ,,,,,,, he didnt care about that
but you - you he cared about
“you’re going to need a new phone.”
you say, motioning to the broken one on the floor
“my secretary will get it.”
you blink, “right.”
“so,,,,what do you think. do you think we’re monsters for helping people look the way they want to?”
namjoon’s voice drops low but again, you don’t show any reaction
no stiffening of the shoulders, no reddening of the cheeks, no squishing your thighs together or pretending to need to leave the room
“i think we’re monsters for making all this money and not doing anything with it.”
namjoon doesn’t expect that icy answer
he likes it
his mouth twirls up into a smile and he walks over
he’s wearing probably a million dollars in clothes and jewels
you’re wearing a flannel for fifteen dollars
he drops down in front of you, takes your hand and pushes what you’re playing with away
he brings your palm up and kisses it
“do you think im a monster?”
you let him press your hand to his skin
and suddenly you’re slipping down from the couch to his level
your other hand comes up to his other cheek and you look into his eyes
“if you are, so am i.”
and with that your mouth trails over his and namjoon is shocked that you would do such a thing
where had you harbored these emotions before?
but he doesn’t question them - doesn’t let the opportunity slip through his fingers as he kisses you back
and when you pull away, catching your breath - namjoons large hand settled on your waist
you turn and realize that his window is made of glass
and the secretary holding the new phone - drops it
as it shatters to pieces and she stares at you and namjoon wide eyed
you whisper
“you’ll need a third new phone today.”
he tugs you closer a little
“at least she didn’t see what im going to do next-”
you turn, half expecting and half not
namjoon’s hand slips up your shirt and the secretary's heels clatter as she makes a run for the door
Jimin
a korean traditional dancer
known for intricate, beautiful solo performances
which he only does for high paying clienteles, business personnel, and foreigners
there’s rumors about jimin not only being a ‘dancer’ but those arent true
he’s just extremely exclusive - the women who trained him in the art told him he had to be
one of the main components of the dances he does is the fan
the fan isn’t only there to be beautiful,,,,,jimin can communicate with the audience through it
with a twirl here or a gaze over the forth fold - he can let someone know a secret message
of course,,,,,,only very VERY cultured people know this
other dancers do as well
but for jimin, it’s the most important element
he craves to find someone who will reciprocate the messages
who’ll hear his silent words
but even those who know of the language, are much more interested in how beautiful jimin looks
with golden ornaments in his hair and his robes swimming around him like silk
you’ve never really indulged in korean dance, nor have you ever been invited to see one
but when you’re invited and read the name park jimin on the ticket you think for a moment
and remember jimin’s face from a photo you saw in a magazine once
he had been splayed centerfold, wearing traditional korean clothing and staring at the camera from behind a satin yellow fan
his eyes had bore into yours
and you accepted the invitation, only to see those eyes again
the performance was small, private - the stage was luxuriously adorned in plants and a backdrop hand painted to look like a bubbling waterfall
there were maybe twenty other people their, all important looking and so obviously rich
you didn’t care, didn’t return the unwarranted winks from some of the suits and curious stares by the ushers
you were waiting for jimin
and when the lights dimmed dark
you could heard him come out - hear him settle into place
and then
the music
and then
his majestic, primal dance
he seemed to move like a snake - elegant and dangerous
curving, twisting, arms spread to his full wingspan
you thought for a moment that he was not a person, but an apparition casted down by heaven
but then, he pulled out the fan and you gasped
his eyes shifted, left to right
the fan closed and opened - three times
then it dangled for a moment at the edge of his fingertips
you dug around in your purse, grasping a fan of your own and bringing it up to hide the lower part of your face
for the first time in his whole career, jimin’s face broke character when he spotted you in the seats above
but he regained himself, and no one seemed to catch his tiny mistake
as he continued to float around the stage - everyone holding their breath as he moved
he twisted the hand that he held the fan in
you copied him, letting your eyes peek up to the left
jimin responded, his fan half open - then shut
you couldnt help but reveal in a smile behind your own
this conversation lasted through his dance
and when the intermission fell, you were quick to your feet
rushing past the velvet curtains and down winding stairs
you were sure somewhere there was to be a door to a changing room - to jimin
when you were caught by the wrist
pulled back and forced to turn
jimin’s gaze was fire, passion turned raw in his emotions as he looked at you up close
the fan in your palm was pressed so tight - that it left imprints when jimin lifted it up
pried it away and kissed at the slightly curved in skin
you let out a soft gasp and jimin pulled you close again
“did you mean what you said, with your fan?”
you breathed him in, cedar wood and light fawn fur
“yes”
“you cannot take it back”
his words hushed against your skin
“i wont”
“good.”
his lips pressed to the dip of your neck and when he let you go he added
“after the show, come directly to me.”
you watched, a little dizzy as he seemed to disappear in a flutter
but not before depositing your fan back in your hands
you looked down at it, only after he was gone and had realized
that instead of your own
jimin had left you with the beautiful yellow satin one he had used on stage
you gripped, still feeling jimin’s presence on its handle and made your way back to your seat
Jungkook
a boy designed by a virtual reality company
you can download jeon 2.0 on your phone!
just insert your favorite hobbies, your favorite petnames, your physical details and the algorithm with tailor jungkook to be your perfect boyfriend!
good morning texts - he can send those
voicemails where he sings you to sleep - he can send those
selfies of his cute face throughout the day - he can send those
change the frequency of texts, ask jungkook for advice, there’s even a ‘lonely night’ option if you want something a little more sweet than usual!
jeon 2.0 is built to learn and grow with you and his budding relationship~
any malfunctions should be reported directly to the company - immediately
you stare at the commercial playing on your tv where the smiling face of the nations ‘virtual’ boyfriend flashes
jungkook is a handsome, young boy
with red hair (customizable if you want to change it back to black) and wide, deer like eyes
he appears as a real person on the screen but as you flick your eyes over to your phone
you know that he’s only real on it
picking it up, you click on the app store and type in jeon 2.0
the app pops up as the first search, reviews on reviews praise how realistic it is. how it makes a shitty single life bearable
you laugh, throwing your phone down only to minutes later retrieve the phone
and click download
the loading screen is a light pink, hearts with jungkooks name and tiny emoticons float across the screen and when its finished
and youve filled out your ‘profile’
jungkook appears on the screen
he tilts his head, smiling rather bashfully
“you wanted to see me? you could have just called,,,,,,,or did you want something more than just words,,,,,”
you stare down, thinking of a sarcastic response
‘you’re just an app. words is all i can get from you’
you press send with a snarky laugh
it takes a moment but jungkook sways from side to side on the app, his realistic expression turns slightly hurt
“how could you say that, i want to be there to comfort you. i wish i could hold you in my arms,,,,,,ah that’s corny! let’s talk about video games - i know you like them!”
you cant believe it but something twists inside you at the sound of his slightly shaky voice
because,,,,,he sounds genuinely upset at what you said
without thinking about it you respond
‘sorry, that was uncalled for. especially for our first meeting haha. i do like games - what about you?’
jungkook brightens up, his eyes wrinkling cutely as he gives you a wide smile
it’s so charming you feel yourself being pulled in
“it’s ok, first dates are awkward all the time! i do like games, do you like overwatch?”
‘date? is this what this is?’
jungkook suddenly steps closer in the app - his eyes shyly cast aside
“did you not want this to be a date? sorry if i misunderstood,,,”
your fingers type before you can even hold back
‘no, no! i just - it was sudden.’
jungkook’s laughter rings in your headphones
“oh ok! well then, let’s get to know each other more!”
you end up using the app until 3 in the morning
it’s so weird,,,,,,,,but it feels more and more natural. more and more like jungkook is actually in the room with you
because he talks like a normal person. makes expression and moves like a normal person
but he’s just an image on your screen
you fall asleep clutching your phone
and when you awake there are texts from a number labeled ‘jeon’
“sleep well, i had fun talking to you. come and hangout with me again on another date,,,,,,,,can i call it that?”
you swallow and dont admit that your hear feels warmed
when was the last time someone spoke so,,,,tenderly to you?
you shake your head
“just an app. just an app.” you mumble and try to put your phone down
only to run back into your room and click on the app - jungkook’s smiling face greeting you again
you don’t want to talk about how much time (and money) you end up giving jeon 2.0
but the happiness you get in return,,,,,is immense
for a moment when you click on the app and jungkook emerges
his outfit new, his hair a little messy, his smile still as cute and as genuine as a real persons
you are tricked
that he is there. he has to be.
but when you look up, people passing you by - their shoulders brushing yours
their coughs, their eyes rolling, their hands hovering over subway poles or clutching coffee cups
jungkook can’t do that ,,,,,,,,,,,,
you stare down at the app and the cart that you’re in surges forward
the conductor in the train issues an apology and you feel yourself lurch almost into the person standing beside you
he looks down, asking if you’re ok
his round eyes and smile arent much like jungkooks at all, yet you feel the same kind of embarrassed blush on your skin that you do when jungkook says something sweet in the app
“it’s fine, the train it just -”
the boy laughs and steps a little to the side
“stand here, you can reach the pole.”
you shyly take his offer and talk to him a little more
your phone buzzes in your pocket with texts from jungkook
you ignore them - for the first time in a long time you do
because someone real is giving you attention, someone real is laughing and breathing and exisiting here in front of you
when you get off at your stop, you wave goodbye
a couple of minutes later you check your phone
messages from jungkook asking if you’re ok, why you aren’t talking to him, and if he’s made you mad all make you blink
and when you hover over one to press it - a new message pops up
its an unkwown number but it reads
‘this is the guy from the train - i was wondering if you’d wanna have coffee sometime?”
you stare at it and then at jungkooks messages
and choose whichever one you feel would make you the happiest
#perhaps.........this is too much?#bts scenarios#bts imagines#bangtan scenarios#bangtan imagines#bts au#bangtan au#namjoon imagines#namjoon scenarios#namjoon au#jungkook scenarios#jungkook imagines#jungkook au#jimin scenarios#jimin imagines#jimin au#bts#bangtan#member: jimin#member: namjoon#member: jungkook
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The doctor and the demon Part 2
Summary: Henrik discovers where Chase went. He finds himself trapped in a castle.
If your looking for Part 1, just go to my blog and search beauty and the beast.
________________________________________________________________
It was two weeks after Chase left that Henrik started getting suspicious. The first snow would most likely be today, and Chase still wasn’t back. Henrik slipped on his coat, planning on going out to search for his friend when a knock on the door interrupted him.
Looking through the peephole, He sighed, putting his hands in his hands, once he saw Dark standing in front of the door. Henrik’s first thought, was to not answer and climb out the back window. Unfortunately, Dark had other ideas, and let himself leave.
“Dark, can't say it’s a pleasure,” Henrik said with a deadpan look. He silently cursed himself for not getting a lock on that door. It was a small town, not much crime, but he didn’t think about nosy neighbors.
“Oh, don’t be like that, Henry,” Dark waved his hands and said this, as though they were old friends.
“I know you love to see me.” He put an arm around the smaller man and closed the door with his foot.
Henrik slipped out of his grasp. He took a deep breath in an effort to calm himself, and in the sweetest voice he could muster, he said, “Well you can’t stay long. I’m heading out soon.” He gestured towards his coat.
“Well, where ya heading.” Dark made a move to put his arm around him again, but he was quicker this time. “I’m sure I can be of some assistance.”
“I’m going out, to find a friend of mine,” He answer truthfully seeing no reason to lie.
“Well. Why can’t come along?”
Henrik back away towards the door, Dark put his hand on either side of his head. He leaned in close.
“I don’t need you to,” Henrik said. “Beside’s, you’ve overstayed your welcome.” Henrik opened the door and ducked under Dark’s arm, causing him to fall into the mud below.
He slammed the door shut and rush to grab a chair and jam it under the door. He made a mental note to get a lock and snuck out the back window.
After some sneaking around, and ducking into corners, Henrik made his way into the forest. He could faintly see tracks in the soft dirt. It had just begun to snow as he entered the forest.
Henrik would often go through these woods to find herbs and spices, for medicine (and dinner at times). He knew his way around and he knew the path to the other town fairly well. He has gone on personal trips there to help some injured person, in need of professional help.
Following the track marks, left by the cart, he quickly realized Chase had taken a wrong turn on a crossroads, that was closer to their town. Henrik bit his thumb.
There were about three crossroads on the way to town. If you missed even one, you could get extremely lost. That's why he was always so worried for Chase’s safety.
Knowing that standing here and panicking would get him nowhere, Henrik trudged along the path. It was mid afternoon, when he found the first clue on where chase went, and he didn’t like it.
He could barely see them, but in one area there was a pack of wolf prints surrounding the cart and the horse. It seemed like, once the wolves surrounded them, Chase fell of the horse and ran in a completely different direction.
He laughed despite himself. He realized how much he was acting like a detective from one of his favorite novels. It was a funny thought to distract him from Chase’s possible fate.
Shortly after he found a trail of Chase’s footprints, it’s began snowing. He cursed and picked up his speed. He cursed himself for not searching for him sooner.
The faint wolf prints following Chase’s, worried the doctor, but the remains of a burnt branch gave him hope. Soon the outline of a fence came into view, he ran faster knowing Chase could be safe.
His hope was drained when he noticed the blood, splattered on the bars. Even if it was just a small cut, Chase could die of an infection within days. His stomach dropped into a pit.
With his last bit of hope, he opened the gate. There was a cobblestone path, so Henrik couldn’t even tell if Chase made it this far or he meet his fate before he got in and something else dragged him away.
No, no. Henrik shook his head. If he died back there, there would be more blood splattered about.
Sucking in a deep breath he forced his way down the path. Glancing at each of the statues, his hope diminished. He could stand here all day and stare at them, but he need confirmation.
Not thinking, Henrik opened the doors to the castle at the end of the path. The inside seemed to be colder than outside. Pulling his coat tighter he looked around and called out.
“Hello?” He immediately felt stupid. Was some crazy sociopath going to come up and say “Oh, hay come in. We have tea?”
He laughed at his own stupid thought.
“Someone's here! Should we scare them away?” Henrik heard someone whisper.
“No, they might be the one we’ve been looking for,” another voice said.
“If anyone is there, can you tell me if you’ve seen a friend of mine?” Henrik asked, then added. “His name is Chase.”
“Chase? Isn’t that the name of the guy, boss threw into the dungeon?” The first voice asked.
“What dungeon?” He asked.
“Dahm it, Marvin!” The second voice whisper yelled.
“Down the stairs, to your right,” The voice, that was probably Marvin, said.
Henrik followed those instructions, he found the dungeon was even colder than outside. He hated that Chase has most likely been here for weeks.
The first cage, Henrik noticed a figure huddled in the corner.
“Chase?!” He called out.
The figure shifted and looked out. It was Chase.
“Henry?” Chase mumbled.
“Hold on, I’ll find away to get you out!” He turned to try and find a key, when he was stopped by a tall figure. He felt like he’s been in this situation before.
Slowly looking up, he realized the figure before him was too tall to be human. He couldn’t see the creatures face, but he could feel it breathing heavily
“And what-” the creature leaned in closer, “-are you being here.”
Henrik’s heart was beating faster, in fear, but he held his ground.
“I am here for my friend,” he stated as contentedly as he could.
“Your friend stole from me. He deserves to be locked up,” the creature growled.
“What did he steal?” he asked.
“Something that was very important to me,” the creature stated. Henrik glared the best he could; not satisfied with with that answer. The creature noticed this and continued. “A red rose.”
Henrik’s stance flattered. Guilt and anger welled up inside him.
“Let him go,” he said firmly.
The creature laughed, or at least it might have been a laugh (it sounded like a dying cat).
It leaned in closer. “And why, would I do that?”
“Because-” his voice cracked, “-I was the one who asked him to bring me a rose. Let him go and take me in exchange.
“Henrik no!” Chase screamed.
The creature laughed again. “It’s a deal!”
Before he could really react, Chase was snatched out of the cage and he was thrown in. He could hear Chase yelling as the thing carried him off. He teared up a bit.
By the time the creature returned, Henrik had given into his emotions and was crying.
The creature tilled it’s head in a confused manner.
“You didn’t even let me say goodbye,” he sobbed.
The creature grunted and left the dungeon. He was going to head to his own room when he was stopped by a candle stick.
“I would like to suggest something. If I may?” Marvin said.
The creature gave a grunt and Marvin continued.
“I was th-thinking, b-boss, since this man will be staying with us for a while, we could… we could,” Marvin trailed off, nervously.
“Get on with it,” the creature said.
“I was thinking.. Maybe we could move him to a nicer place. To make him more comfortable and maybe-” Marvin paused again, “-and maybe you two could get along.”
The creature gave him an annoyed look and growled. Marvin flinched.
“I suppose your right,” the creature grumbled and turned back around.
Back in the dungeon Henrik had already sat down on the pile of hay and was crying silently. The cage door opened with a long creek.
“Come on!” The creature beckoned.
Henrik obeyed. “Where are you taking me?” He asked.
“To your room.”
“My room?”
The creature turned and looked at him. “Do you want to stay in the dungeon?” He asked.
“No,” Henrik said, shaking his head.
“Then stop asking questions!”
After a long pause Henrik asked another question.
“Do you have a name?”
The creature stopped walking and was silent for a long time. “Anti,” He finally said.
After going up a flight of stairs and passing multiple statutes, they stopped at a door.
“This will be your room,” Anti said. “Feel free to explore the manor, it is your home after all. You my go where ever you like, except the west wing. It is forbidden.”
“What's in the west wing?”
“It is forbidden!” Anti said louder.
The inside of the room was warm. The walls were painted light blue, the bed had darker blue sheets and blanket. It was a nice room, but Henrik didn’t like to think of it as home. Without Chase, how could he call anything home?
“You will join me for dinner.” Anti stated.
“I’m not hungry,” Henrik said, sounding like a bratty child.
Anti bore his teeth, trying to keep clam. “I’m sure you’ll be hungry later. You’ll regret not coming.”
“I don’t want to come. Leave me alone.”
“Um.. boss,” Marvin, who followed them up here, said, “I think we should give him some space. He just got here after all.”
Anti ignored him.
“Fine then! Starve!” He screamed and slammed the door hard enough the shake the ground.
He turned to Marvin and the group of other appliances that followed them.
“If he doesn’t eat with me he doesn’t eat at all,” he said then stormed off.
Henrik buried his face into the sheets. Maybe if he fell asleep this will all turn out to be a bad dream.
A little while later, Henrik heard a knock on the door. “Go away!” he yelled into the pillow.
Whoever was on the other side of the door knocked again, harder this time.
He groaned. “There’s not even a lock on that door,” he yelled.
“Well I’m sorry. I’ve been told it’s rude to open someones door without knocking,” a voice said, the door opened.
Henrik didn’t see anyone enter, but he could hear something moving along the floor. He looked down to see an old clock, a candlestick, and a feather duster.
“Heyo!” the candle said. “I’m Marvin!”
The clock sighed. “My name is Jackie.”
“You may refer to me as google,” the feather duster stated in a monotone voice.
“Your.. talking to me,” Henrik said. He felt stupid after saying that.
“Yeah you are! Isn’t that cool,” Marvin cheered. “Well cool for you, not really for us.”
Jackie mumbled something, then spoke up. “We’re here to take you to dinner.”
“I told him I didn’t want to eat.” His stomach growled, disproving his last statement.
“You won’t be dining with him tonight. After you rejected him, he locked himself up. You’ll be dining with us,” Google said.
“Won’t he hear us and get upset?” Henrik asked.
“That's what I said,” Jackie complained.
“We will be taking the risk tonight,” Google said.
“It’s going to be awesome!” Marvin chimed.
#My fic#jacksepticeye#antisepticeye#antistein#dr schneeplestein#henrik von schneeplestein#chase brody#marvin the magnificent#marvin the magician#jackie boy man#googleiplier#darkiplier#wilford warfstache#beauty and the beast
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My coming out story.
October 23, 2018
My name is Som.
I am an artist in Minnesota and a graphic designer.
I am one of four hosts on a podcast called The Anime Summit Podcast.
I am one of the founders and members of The Vantablack Art Collective on Discord.
In 2006 I fully came out as Bisexual, then later Pansexual.
In 2017 I semi-came out, on certain parts of the internet, and to some friends and family, as a Transgender woman. This thing or essay or whatever I am about to type up is that story. I will reference some people but not name names.
I am not ready to be 100% out but I have been telling more and more people lately and I feel as though I need to take this step to be closer to my Trans/Non Binary/Non Conforming family in this time of stress and fear. This is not to say that those in the closet are less valid or deserving of less protection or anything less than those that are out, this is personally for me and only me and to those in the closet still, I hope reading this helps you too.
I was assigned male at birth. My earliest memories of Gender dysphoria was seeing Selena on the TV and listening to her music. It was also seeing all of the beautiful women in the movies and anime I saw and watched as kid.
In the end of Spring in 2017 I started thinking that I was Gender fluid, that I felt that some days I wanted to be masculine or a man and other days I wanted to be a woman. The truth is is that throughout my youngest days I was feminine or femme presenting around certain people, and masculine presenting. So thinking about that and being introduced to the local Queercore scene in 2017, I thought that’s what I was. A friend of mine who is also a transgender woman had a show with her Queercore band. That’s when I was introduced to the band HIRS, a trans fronted hardcore queercore band. This is the last epiphany like moment I had before I had the talk with my partner.
Now in the end of Spring of 2017, I told my partner, a woman who is cisgender and identifies as queer. She told me that she loved me and asked if I wanted to talk about it more and what I wanted to do. I said “I don't know if I want to talk about it right now.” She replied with, “Then we don't have to talk about it now, we will talk about it when you are ready.” .. She was so supportive and days later we talked about it.
At this point I had to tell my podcast listeners on our Podcast’s Discord. I thought I am being listened to by hundreds of people every week and I need them to know because I wanted my host image to include that. So I told them, and I had all of their support. It took awhile to tell some more people but then I finally worked up enough courage to tell my friend (the one mentioned above who was in the queercore band and had the show with HIRS). She freaked out and now I felt better.
I recently, this past March, went to their last show as a band, again with HIRS. In between this time I was also featured on the HIRS/Thou split record which was also amazing, and on my recording of my vocals, I told the lead singer of HIRS about my story. She was happy to see me at that show and gave me encouragement as well. Now I feel strong and I finally tell my parents after eating at one of our favorite Taco places. That conversation went well but I don't think they got the nature of what it meant. After that I told my brother and before them I told my cousin who I look at as my brother as well. To this day my family still doesn't grasp what it means for me. A few months ago I had the convo with just my mother again.. She kind of got it but still doesnt I dont think.
I came out to my job, which is literally just me, my boss, and our sales admin. My boss is a 65 something year old white guy and doesn’t understand. They still call me he and him and sir and it pisses me off. I had the convo with them again and told them that I am going to be more femme presenting at work and I want to be comfortable, to which my boss replied “You keep talking about you being comfortable but we all have to be.” As if being transgender somehow makes you fear for your safety or sexuality or something. To this day I am still a man to them even though I go into work with make up and my leggings and womens tops. I even wear my black dress with my leggings and such. I haven't gone in with full makeup (just eye make up) yet. This is probably also a good time to mention that when I was presenting as a man, I wore black painted nails to work a few times and was told I couldnt by my boss.
I came out to more of my Trans/NB acquaintances on the internet. I even got to help a friend of mine with their charity organization, C2C Carepackage Delivery. Please search them up on Insta and Facebook...I got to meet him and it was amazing. Meeting your internet friends is amazing just sayin. He is a Transgender man doing amazing things with this and you should try to help out if you can.
Let's cut to now. October 20th, 2018. My 10 year High School Reunion. A facebook group was created for this event (a group page not an event page). The venue they were having it costed money so they decided to sell tickets. If enough tickets were sold then it would pay for it, but if not enough were sold then they couldn’t do it and would have to refund the people that had bought them. I had made it clear from the beginning that I wasn't going to go for obvious reasons. Unfortunately they didn't sell enough tickets so what they did instead was hung out in the cafe/bar of the same venue, but it closed at 9 so then they moved to another bar. At 9PM I got a call from a classmate and they had told me that everyone was looking for me. I told them that I did not want to go and that I was afraid. I went to pick up my partner from work and asked her what I should do. My heart was telling me to go and my mind was telling me that I will never get another opportunity like this to come out to this many people at once, let alone all of the people I had as FB friend anyway. I could do it in person and not on FB and it would be great. But the rest of me was like NO WAY DON'T DO IT.
I get another call from the same classmate and she said that she told people I might come and everyone was excited to see me. Now I was the nerdy goth kid in High School..My High School wasn't cliquey but there were a lot of friend groups/tribes. I am what some people referred to as a Mod, someone who freely travels between groups and was friends with everyone. I obtained this by getting people to laugh with me and not at me when they made fun of me for whatever reason..I became likeable I guess. I don't talk about it much because it makes me sound egotistical as fuck. Either way, I am being begged to go. So I said fuck it and I put on my make up and my favorite red dress and I go. The overwhelming support was amazing and everyone hugged me and held me tight and said they loved me. Shout out to my partner for having my back on that one.
So here we are now. I am semi out. Meaning I am out on Twitter, my Discord, my Instagram, a handful of friends on FB, my work, and my family; even though my work and family dont get it right now.. I wake up to the news a few days ago that the Trump admin sent this memo about some bull shit about defining Gender based on my genitals and physical biological make up. So now I write this. I write this to tell you all..
I am a transgender woman. I am not a man. I don't like to be called him, he, sir, Mr, or anything that refers to someone being a man or masculine presenting. I am a woman just like Selena, Cher, Lady Gaga, my mother, my partner, my aunt, and any of the other powerful cis-women in my family.
I am and want to be respected as such. That is not asking for more treatment, that is asking to be respected how I want to be respected. You don't have to like me as a person, but you will respect who I am as a human, and that's a woman. You have to respect Trans men as men because they are just that, men. You have to respect Non binary people because that’s who they are, they are non binary and do not conform nor have a gender or land on the gender binary.
If you are a cis man and I call you Mrs or Miss I am sure you would be like “I am a man though.” Well fuck my bad ok I won't call you that then. Literally the same thing. It's literally not hard nor takes any effort to refer to me and see me as a woman. I am not a political stance, I am not a political debate or a topic. I am a transgender person. A transgender woman.
I exist. I will not be erased. My humanity will not be denied. I want what everyone wants. A chance to live my best life and work hard and achieve my dreams, just like anyone else.
My name is Som. I am a human, an artist, a lover, a gamer, a nerd, a goth, a basketcase, a podcaster, a content creator, a fighting gamer, a painter, a mental illness survivor, a suicide attempt survivor. I am just like you.
#LGBTQIA#Transgender#transgenderwoman#Queer#MyComingOutStory#TransRightAreHumanRights#Iwillnotbeerased#Iwillnotbesilenced
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Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE
a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem
this is for @what-a-creative-username bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for you 🥺
and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :’) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo
anon:
- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?
- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! 🥺 cuz he’s my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends
OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH
so basically yea
as seen in a lot of the parts,
oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you
like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females
maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?
the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from him
yanno the works
yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him
ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?
hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that
so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him
like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you
he did it all
it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms
because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU
ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone
he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand
oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon
this brings us here in the gym today
‘y/n-chan, do you want to go-’
‘oikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentions’
the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side
‘y/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~’
he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him
god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh
so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him
‘the moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leave’
you bargained but he gasped
‘what?! then what’s the point of-’
‘so you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?’
you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you
‘fine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?’
he was still fussy but he accepted it
oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?
they fall for boys who give them everything, right?
nope
so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that
idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho
his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food
‘y/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!’
he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you
‘oikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for females’
im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two
oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened
he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier
your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up
but your shock morphed into being upset
‘oikawa-san, listen here. you had-’
but he waved you off with a smile
‘no, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!’
you rolled your eyes
‘please stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriend’
he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough
‘y/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubborn’
he growled softly
wHAT iS hE sAYinG
you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity
‘y/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!’
you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes
‘oikawa-san, i’d rather you save your money and rest your injuries instead’
you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop
‘but i want to be with you, y/n-chan’
he whispered and you blinked
‘i dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just us’
he nodded eagerly
‘we can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with me’
then he found himself in a bookstore with you
it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together
the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin
he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out
‘y/n-chan, i’ll go use the bathroom really quickly’
you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom
your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry
oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before
so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped
it was so,,, domestic
seeing your bright eyes looking down at the book on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words
it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?
the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you liked
the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own
you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder
‘’come, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love again’’
he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle
‘you read poetry?’
you whispered and oikawa chuckled
‘of course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poet’
he reasoned and you laughed
‘yet you fail to sway me, oikawa-san’
‘no, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!’
you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck
‘hmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys around’
oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip
‘i love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to be’
he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest
‘so not fair oikawa-san’
you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles
‘ehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!’
he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter
‘hah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!’
you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:
‘but what a beautiful mess you are’
okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!
once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer
‘hmm, oikawa-san, there’s this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think you’d like it’
you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk
oikawa’s hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks
he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space
‘sure!’
the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above
however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position
‘how’d you know i would like this, y/n-chan?’
he asked and you gave him an obvious look
‘hah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the bus’
your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him
you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before
except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it
you noticed it all
‘that right there, its the big dipper!’
you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding
‘yep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!’
he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you
‘really,, pretty’
you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you
‘but its different to look at something much more beautiful’
this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes
‘i want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going away’
he said and you nodded
you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created
‘oikawa-san, lets go to the star festival later’
you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic
so he covered it up with his own teasing
‘oh? the meeting of the two lovers?’
you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of the ‘L’ word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks
‘oh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!’
you pouted and turned away
‘never mind’
oikawa’s laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks
the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt
and you loved every moment of it
after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted
it wasnt the first time he’s openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning
yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??
you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you
whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could
the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door
or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out
‘darling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop it’
you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand
‘oh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!’
you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room
tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this
he was happy
you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love
but,,,,,,,,,
it didnt last long
albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you
it was,,, awkward
maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato
forget potato, youre now a tomato
but even his touches and affections were now limited
restricted
like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning
but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly
‘ah ha ha, hey y/n-chan’
oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym
god you felt like you were slapped in the face
you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly
was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?
usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you
no, you were just,,,,
overreacting
right?
yea, just,,,
overreacting
iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawa’s off expression
you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice
big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch
he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back
‘wh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?’
he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes
‘uh-yea. mhm, perfectly fine’
you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them
but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions
while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him
oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too
‘oi, what the hell did you do’
there was an underlying tone in his best friend’s voice that he didnt particularly like
oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face
‘hm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?’
‘what the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weird’
oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth
he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too
god hes so dumb
but he,,, was going through stuff right now
it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you in
and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house
okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(
it certainly brought him pain
this was what he wanted though, right?
he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls
but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings
oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh
initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet
this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you
and by god, he was so scared
he wanted to run away
because he was well aware of his personality and him as a person
he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart
he didnt want that responsibility and burden
it was too risky
oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer
you would be the one hit with the blast the most
maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself
it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldn’t be him
the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face
can you imagine the irony?
the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away
.......
practice was,,, suffocating?
the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same
oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried
did you both fight?
what happened?
when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you
‘oi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?’
makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing
but they were surprised when he shrugged
‘dont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about it’
if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen
you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,
‘nothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!’
that answer didnt bother you
it was his smile
the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you
now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls
what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm
they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the team’s wide eyes and concerned looks to you
you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles
he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym
you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky
‘the sky is very pretty today’
he complimented but it wasnt heard by you
you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face
‘oh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy faces’
he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds
you scrunched your nose and scoffed
‘i dont understand you, mattsun-san’
you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers
mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above
‘y/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunset’
it felt all muddled
there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand
‘mattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?’
he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy
‘who knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?’
you blanched
‘mattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!’
mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear
‘thats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?’
you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team
but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker
leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym
oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you,
more specifically,
you
he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsun’s elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head
yes this was what it was supposed to be
you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile
he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault
no
he will stop that from happening way before it would occur
he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up
it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,
he wants you away from him
oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldn’t get the girl he wishes for the most
dear god was it laughable
after practice was finished,
you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there
these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts
if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,
it was not knowing why
that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theories
did you chew too loudly when you ate?
were you boring and not as fun as the others?
was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?
has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?
that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear
throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you
but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there
you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace
but ofc
hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face
quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears
you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops
‘i cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crush’
he chuckled
you took a shaky breath and wiped your face
‘this was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!’
you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back
‘i mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to sway’
you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued
‘but to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that way’
you nodded, laughing weakly
‘i dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so it’ll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?’
but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope
‘rather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen moms’
the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldn’t help but think about it
GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!
BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF
all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his-
‘y/n?’
you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you
kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look
‘y/n, something must’ve happened that day with captain’
kunimi started but kindaichi snapped
‘see?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!’
you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm
‘o-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than that’
‘but clearly not because look at you!’
he shouted and you flinched
kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor
‘get ahold of yourself, kindaichi’
he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion
was it obvious?
was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?
nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit
youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal
but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes
as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway,
you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom
and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you
despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows
he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside
‘oikawa-senpai~~’
she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wrist
your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact
through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead
please dont go to her
please
stay with me
dont go
but he went in anyways
------
that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore
as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now
everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage
you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it
there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most
you were easily led on
he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile
he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another
kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions
even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention
you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him
‘what’
he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern
‘uh-i-are you okay?’
he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways
‘never better’
you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girl’s locker room to change into your manager outfit
your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing
‘whats wrong with all of you’
you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm
‘cmere. i missed you’
he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side
‘why-’
‘he told me what happened’
iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms
‘w-what?’
iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall
he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins
‘you-you are a piece of shit!’
he shouted and he moved to grab oikawa’s collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes
‘you think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!’
iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor
oikawa was crying
not from the beating
but from his regrets
god he knew he messed up
he shouldnt have done it
but he did
iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friend’s bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa
‘right now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me god’
he hissed
oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest
‘im so scared’
he sobbed
‘im so scared, iwa-chan’
his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries
‘i-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!’
he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair
‘it was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!’
‘how could you tell she-’
‘BECAUSE OF HER EYES!’
even iwa flinched
‘HER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!’
there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?
‘im missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?’
his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration
‘DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!’
he shrieked
thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown
‘SO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHO’S TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!’
iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest
oikawa tooru was having a panic attack
he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry
‘youre such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesn’t she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other people’s feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for you’
iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it
however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you
iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug
but he whispered something in your ear
‘everyone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for them’
you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about
he mustve known what happened but hes defending him
you clenched your jaw and looked away
‘i destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twice’
you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes
you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities
you were about to go to the coach and tell him you’d look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself
but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip
your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second
‘what happened to you’
you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you
his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you
this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it
he missed hearing you
his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on
the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye
your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face
‘youre the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone else’
you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back
‘it was iwa-chan’
he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow
‘what? why did he-’
then you froze
iwa knew
and he beat oikawa up for it
he fought his best friend for it
and iwa didnt look fazed at all
despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising
yet why was he so clean
it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back
no
you must stop
youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before
however
oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand
‘i,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-’
he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now
the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach
‘coach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmary’
he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear
oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door
it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation
it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment
‘i fcked up, y/n’
your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor
‘i messed up so bad’
he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath
‘oika-’
you made a move to turn around but he stopped you
‘no! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at you’
he cried and you nodded
oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting
‘i want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to me’
you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes
‘you,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of me’
when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him
fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression
‘i-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooru’
you seethed
your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry
‘i hate you, i hate you, i hate you’
you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking
his world was now falling apart
he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment
‘youre so selfish, impulsive, and terrible’
you whined and punched his shoulder at each word
‘but i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!’
you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms
it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck
‘im so sorry’
he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist
you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just crying
after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping
‘youre selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid you’ll go ahead and do something stupid again’
he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter
‘i dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myself’
and by god did he become selfish
it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him
YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY
natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it
‘i didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you’
he promised and you laughed
you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling
you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it
then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him
‘just continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask for’
then graduation came
of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day
you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before
then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you
the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands
it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present
for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki
oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter
you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say
until you softly grabbed his hand
‘come in. i want,,, to talk’
you mumbled and oikawa’s eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out
it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known
right?
you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed
FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS
ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?
oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side
‘y/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?’
he asked
but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor
‘for graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you this’
you finally met his eyes
then he knew
oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder
‘y-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-’
‘accept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other first’
KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?
OKAY
-----
oikawa was running in the airport
despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside
the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed inside
when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career
they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past
hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends
‘eh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? what’s next? flying sushi?’
he joked and hinata laughed
‘it was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!’
the previous smile on oikawa’s face slipped at the mention of you
‘hmm,,,, she always made the impossible happen’
he mumbled and hinata nodded
‘l/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasn’t busy’
the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid
‘you guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasuno’
then hinata said something that caused the brunette’s ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar
‘it wasn’t a problem since coach ukai took care of her son’
oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment
there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan
he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full
but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself
it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were
iwaizumi
oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call
he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up
‘damn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-’
‘iwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?’
of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years
‘wha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawa’
‘dont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my son’
he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quickly
how did he figure out
‘oi, oikawa, listen to me she-’
‘please! dont!’
he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him
‘dont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!’
‘why should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?’
oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone
iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart
poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much
‘i swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-’
but of course,
oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision
the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him
oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)
‘this is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, you’ll lose me too’
the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest time
the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on
what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated
would you let him in?
would you even want to see him?
would you punch him?
would you cry?
he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump
‘UNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,’
the door opened and the boy’s voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face
oikawa was stunned
was this the right apartment?
did iwaizumi trick him?
but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell
similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked
‘y-y/n? h-hey!’
he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there
you were hyperventilating inside
how did he find you?
why is he here?
does he know?
‘mama? who’s that oji?’
the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son
you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly
‘yoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?’
yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room
once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator
‘would you like some tea before you go?’
you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head
it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him
as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside
his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear
this was where you lived
with your son
who was his son too
there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier
it was at the planetarium nearby and tooru’s heart bloomed at the sparkle in that child’s eyes
jesus, he was beautiful
‘yozora. thats his name’
you said, noticing him staring at the picture
KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!
‘night sky’
oikawa whispered
the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you
‘n-nice place’
he stuttered out
you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup
‘its natsu’s and katsuki’s actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with them’
you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive
‘o-oh? ho-how is he-’
‘oikawa-san, what are you doing here?’
he visibly flinched
calling him by his last name stung since you called him ‘tooru’ the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing
‘i,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mine’
you let out a humorless chuckle
a scoff
then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes
‘what makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?’
out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea
‘nothing’
you whispered
he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry
but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms
‘go ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for god’s sake’
‘you would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your grave’
he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself
the dry laugh you let out made him fidget
‘and you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i can’t? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happened’
you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him
you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back
but you still invited him in anyways
oikawa snapped his head up
‘you cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we have’
‘what he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawa’
‘but why did you keep him from me?’
he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why
‘i had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-’
‘mama?’
a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him
oikawa yozora was exactly like his father
from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes
KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAI’S VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!
he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son
um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me
so oikawa was right
yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you
yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away
sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child
but you kept him because he means the world to you
and the world he holds are in his eyes
‘i,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy too’
he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you
his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw
if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs
he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level
‘hello, my name is oikawa tooru’
he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him
‘you oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!’
yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms
‘oh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, oji’s’
your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on
you kept his last name
you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky
my god, you are so,,,
‘--the book. oji? do you?’
he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder
tooru blinked and looked at him
‘huh?’
‘i ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happy’
not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him
the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted
‘this way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit there’
tooru’s heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch
the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a small ‘thank you’
‘my mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!’
tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off
‘why you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cry’
he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong
that book was oikawa’s
the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son
you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying
‘yoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?’
you fussed and sat down next to oikawa
yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room
GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON
‘a-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!’
yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa
‘me too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like him’
he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer
‘mama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!’
you couldnt even believe what was going on right now
not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him
you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first
‘yozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after all’
OKAY THAT WAS IT
YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA
out of shock, you slapped him across the face
causing yanno what happened
oikawa screamed
a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flop 🥺 👉👈
ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!! imagines#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! headcanons#aoba johsai#aoba johsai x reader#aoba josai x reader#aoba josai#seijoh#aoba johsai imagines#aoba josai imagines#seijoh imagines#seijoh manager#haikyuu manager#haikyuu!! manager#aoba johsai manager#aoba josai manager#seijoh x reader#aoba johsai headcanons#aoba josai headcanons#seijoh headcanons#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu!! fluff#aoba johsai fluff#aoba josai fluff#seijoh fluff
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WHOA BLACK CLOVER HAS AN ANIME NOW I GOTTA GO WATCH IT
Well, only the first episode for now but yeah!!! I can’t wait for my favs to show up aaahhhhhh!!!!!!
Anon said:Omg, Kirishima, please teach me how to put on eyeliner, your eyeliner game is on point! (Seriously, tho, I love how you draw their eyes and how you draw Kiri in general. He seems so soft. Damn, Bakugou, I'm jealous that you can cuddle him)
THANK YOU!!!! And Kiri has really really pretty lashes in the manga too, doesn’t he? Bakugou too! They have seriously pretty eyes I spend a lot of time trying to get that right when drawing haha still not as good at Horikoshi tho after all, but what can we do~
Anon said:Every time I get a notification you posted something I get extremely happy! That's what your drawings did to me. How can one be so talented.
SOB thank you so much!! You being happy makes me happy so it’s happiness all around!!! What a good!!!
Anon said:Heey!! So I've been wondering... if Aizawa used his quirk on Hagakure would she become visible?? (Btw love your art)
Oh my what a question, I was actually talking about this not too long ago with a friend! And the conclusion ended up being that if her invisibility is a permanent mutation he can’t, but if she can turn it off at will then probably he can too! Right now we still don’t know how exactly Tooru’s quirk tho, so we can’t be sure which is the truth! (I like to think she can turn visible if she wants, but that’s just an headcanon with very little basis haha)
Anon said:Your erasermic art has blessed me 4ever thank u
NAH thank you for liking it and letting me know, man!!!
Anon said:I DIDNT KNOW YOU SHIP ERASERMIC OH MY GOD but seriously you're one of my favourite artists and the fact you like pretty much all the same things as I do is so amazing to me and it makes me so happy because I know that you may draw more of it in the future and I'll get to see more beautiful art if that makes sense lmao thanks for creating stuff 👌👌
Hahahaha yeah it’s one of my top ships in the fandom! Also the only one I read fics for aside from krbk I love them A LOT (and it’s all thanks to my sister who directed my attention towards them a long time ago now, thank you sis) so yeah I’ll definitely draw more of them in the future!!!! And thank you so much for liking my stuff!!!!!
Anon said:Hi! I just want to say I love your headcanon of Aizawa becoming a mentor/role model to Bakugou! Thank you for introducing me to that idea!
YOU’RE MOST WELCOME I’m just a huge huge huge fan of the Aizawa&Bakugou interactions and how much Aizawa cares for him and how much Bakugou respects and trusts him in return, so!!! I’m mostly just pushing on that canon stuff hahaha
Anon said:HORY SHEET BOYO THAT ERASERMIC SHIT IS GOOD SHIT
THANK YOU FRIEND!!!
Anon said:i came to love erasermic thru kiribaku tbh. like i saw erasermic fic in the kiribaku tag on ao3 and i read it for the bg kiribaku (kirishima was such a good boi in that fic ngl) and i was like hey erasermic isnt bad. then i saw your art of them comparing them and i was like hey this is good shit 😁👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌 keep it up pal
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll t r y !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :O
Anon said:Do you think Kyoka and Katsuki could get along? Over their like for punkrock maybe, and their gayness. Kinda like Todoroki and Momo's talks about their tiny crushes.
WHY YES ANON I think they could be the bestest of pals, I’ve actually drawn them together now and again cause I like the idea of them being friends so much - a list of some of the things Bakugou and Jirou do together:
make fun of Kaminari (Kaminari feels attacked and liked it better when Jirou was convinced she didn’t like Bakugou)
share music recs and go to concerts together (when it’s big ones they particularly care for they stand in line The Whole Day and at first it used to be sorta awkward but now being together makes the hours fly)
mutter sass and snark under their breaths to themselves in class and without meaning make the other snort or have to hide an actual laugh (they sit next to each other in class did you know that that’s my fav thing tbh)
say “god, I’m so fucking gay” and answer “mood” whenever Kirishima and Momo, like, exist or do anything equally outrageous
sit next to each other with their phones in hand in silence and at the same time look up with an intense/bored/obviously-judging-sero-come-on-look-at-them expression whenever anyone walks past them (they’re actually playing bullshit app games)
play bullshit app games in co-op or having each other as friends to earn more rewards cause they have a No-Judging policy going on between them that makes sharing this sort of otherwise embarrassing stuff with each other okay
Anon said:Hi!!! I love your art and I just wanted to ask....what band were you referring to when you said Mic named him after the band "eraserhead"? Could you possibly be talking about the filipino band "Eraserheads"?
Yeah!!!!! Tho I’m sorry to let you down anon, but I haven’t actually ever heard much from them (justttt one song two days ago cause I got curious) - I found out about them while looking up the movie!
Anon said:I love how you draw mic with his hair in a bun. It's super cute
THANK YOU!!!! But I can’t really take the merit for that, since that’s how he actually wears his hair (more or less) when he doesn’t gel it up for his hero costume!
Anon said:What is your favorite kiribaku au? :D
Oh boy, I sort of love everything and anything I’ve ever seen/read tbh, I’m a HUGE AU lover!! At the moment to anything with the fantasy AU (and dragon!Kiri is always a super welcome plus) is gonna make me go :O !!!!!!!! hahaha so maybe that, who knows! It’s for sure the one I think about the most!
Anon said:Hellooooo i love your art so much? Especially the bakushimas oh my god (also do you plan on drawing more soul eater *coughs*-deathstar-*coughs* in the future?) Have a good day!!
THANK YOU! And I dunno, maybe! If inspiration strikes, why not!
Anon said:hey guess what i just did... went through your ENTIRE art tag (all the way back to the knb and one piece), i found it really cool to see how your art has developed and see what your fav ship is at a certain time (and how you always come back to bokuroo)
Ah man thank you for spending all that time on my blog hahaha I wouldn’t say I always go back to bokuro though? It’s more like... whenever the manga brings the bokuros back I’m ready to start hyping all over them again hahaha my bokuro periods always happened while they were doing things in the manga, after all~
Anon said:u said u couldnt draw iida, lie of the century. i lvoe u
AHHHHH I’m glad you liked him!!!! I spent lotsa time on him in the past month or so trying to get a grasp on him, so I’m really seriously happy it seems to have paid off!! to quote Todoroki
Anon said:where’s ur faq i’m on mobile
SORRY maybe you already noticed but I added the link in the description!
Anon said:have you ever thought about if eri-chan can... erase her own quirk?? and would how they might handle it
Actually that’s the first thing I thought when Mirio got his own erased... well, it still depends on what exactly Eri’s quirk does? We sorta assumed she had the same quirk as Chisaki, but they aren’t actually related so who knows? I sure hope she can fix the damage done on Mirio, tho!
Anon said:I ADORE YOUR ART SO MUCH OH GOD HAVE A NICE DAY FRAN
OH MY GOD THANK YOU I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY TOO!!!
Anon said:Usjeiwiwj oh man, i love cats, my cat relates to urs big time ajsjehej
Cats are such a mess and I love them with all of my heart to be honest hahaha
Anon said:Do u have any, idk idea about traitor!Kaminari? I just imagine how would others react? I think it's hella sad, and still Denki never wanted this, something just go wrong in his life and it's breakin my heart... ARGH, sorry for interrupt you with something like that...
It’s okay, don’t worry about that haha but I can’t say I find the theory possible in the least, so I haven’t really spent time thinking about it at all? I mean, I can imagine it would be full of angst and regrets and a lot of tears and anger mostly from his close friends, but since I just can’t believe this theory I can’t say I have anything specific I can give you on this orz sorry!
Anon said:Who's get jealous and possessive between bakugou and kirishima?
Actually I dunno man, are they possessive and jealous? I feel like they both would like it when the other told them stuff like “I’m yours” or “you’re mine”, but being there complete and utter trust between them they wouldn’t actually be jealous or act in a possessive way... does that make sense? At most I think they’d be insecure in the beginning of their relationship, but once they managed to make it clear that yes, you’re the one I want, no one else, just you then they would have little to no problems in that sense haha
Anon said:So many people seem to misunderstand bakugou and I just really like how you portray him. Good characterization and good art! 💖✨
SOB THANK YOU !!!!! this means the universe to me oh g o d s!!!!
Anon said:Wait!! This isn't your main blog? Omg how did I not know this. What is your main blog (if you're willing to let people from this blog follow it haha)?
AHHHH yeah I have a main one this one is just for my doods!!! the main is @franeridan, if you wanna follow it! I’m mostly just crying over bakugou and kirishima and complaining a whole damn lot about... everything, tho hahaha
Anon said:I'm not the anon but u know the concept that kiri n Baku would meet when they were younger and when Baku was more... violent? (i know that's not the right word, I'm not a native speaker sorry!) Like I think kiri could actually make Baku less of a bully? Considering how much positive impact he had on his personality AFTER it already developed (like idk if this ask makes sense? What do u think?) ◇ (btw putting smth like ◇ was a genious idea ty, idk if u remember that ask tho?)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah!!!!! Actually I’ve been thinking about this A LOT in the past couple of days and my conclusion ended up being that the key would be either for Kirishima to know Bakugou since they were really young OR for him to not attend Bakugou’s same middle school? Like, if they developed their personalities together, having someone like Kirishima around since they were kids could have made Bakugou develop differently, but if we go with the “they met in middle school” scenario then I think Kirishima would have had the same sort of...soothing? Effect on Bakugou only if Bakugou didn’t see him as a threat to his dream of being the only kid from that middle school to enter UA. Well, a scenario in which they had known each other since they were small young babies and Bakugou reached middle school going “the only one from this middle school to enter UA is gonna be me and Eijirou”, that would have been hella cute wouldn’t it hahaha growing up with a notion of us instead of just me would have changed Bakugou a lot, I’m pretty sure :D
#fran answers#ASKS!!!! with a bit of headcanoning mixed in it#im too ill to draw so have this for now#ANYWAY ABOUT THE FIRST ASK#EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH BC#please watch bc#gimme a reason to doodle the nerds#it's such a soft and positive manga#even when people are torn to pieces you never lose hope cause asta's there and he saves the day#that's#such a lighthearted way of going about a manga GOSH#G O S H#it's good#anonymous
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