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#bpd coping
bpdcrybaby213 · 11 months
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Why do I feel like self destruction is the answer to every bad feeling I have? Any negative thoughts, go on...destroy yourself, you'll feel so much better.
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iluvyoutoomuch · 2 years
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"how'd u get in my house wtf" darling 🤝 "to keep u protected :(" yandere
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lisascr3ature · 9 months
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bloodstainedsmoke · 3 months
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when he sends you this and just feeds the lovesick puppy brain xx
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luvrfxngs · 3 months
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you always have the sweetest blood whenever i come in for my midnight snack, laying there so peacefully, barely flinching as i bite your soft neck. you taste so nice darling <33
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yandog · 1 year
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i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you!
i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you!
i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you!
i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you!
i love you! i love you! i love you! i love you!
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manifestingspaghett1 · 10 months
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“You can never put it back together like it was.“ - Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
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enslavedheart · 7 months
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Craving abuse right now:< I need someone to be mad at me and yell at me and hurt me so I can feel loved the right way
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Saddest little baby, is you.
Sometimes I try to,
but I dont know how to get through.
I'm not the man you think I am,
But that's all you know.
I try to be there
But you dont live here.
Your still in that apartment
fighting with a ghost.
I try and show you Just who I am.
But youve already got your guns out
You think you already know who I am
So you dont hear me speak.
Sometimes When we fight,
It feels like its for our lives,
But it should never be that way
And its what I try to say.
I think youve seen a lot of wars
I think youve done, a lot of tours.
You have some scars, not seen by the eye
So you attack and dedend, like I'm that guy.
I dont have a knife, I dont want a war.
I just want you to let me in, through that door.
Im not mad, in fact I'm sad
To see you fight, its just not right
I see your scars and see the pain
Saddest little baby in the room
I get a grey hair for every scare you share
I cant be the only one who seeees you..
I see you, snd I love what I see
I see your saddness, I see your pain.
I try to take some of the burden and strain
Because I see how much it hurts and affects you.
Seeing it literally makes me sad
Sad and makes me want to be nice to you
It makes me want to help you
Take care of and spoil you.
But youve gotta quit assuming I'm like him
I'm not like these other men
All they do, is some tragic sin
To hurt these beautiful souls
Your doing your best and so am I
These moments, they are the tests
Can you change, get rid of the pain?
Will you let go of, that war you were in?
Will you treat me and everyone differely?
I cant be the only one who sees you.
Thst always hits me,
It would be a lot more sad if that were true.
Sometimes I just want to talk to little you.
I see your fb posts, snd they're not positive lol
It makes me want, to text you.
But theres a lot, your going through.
I try to text, but you assume I want to attack you.
What I really want is to talk to you.
I miss you and I want to check on you
You didnt open any fb messages, did the pics and songs not get through?
I heard this one, it was so cute so I thought of you
You didn't even open it to hear it.
And I just found this one, kind of different genera
I know this one, will actually be new to you.
Saddest little baby in the room
How do I get through to you
I get a gret hair for every scare we share
I cant be the only one who seeees you...
-OHO
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bpdcrybaby213 · 7 months
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The trouble with me "getting better" is my brain always trying to sabotage. I do good for awhile but then I regress. My appetite for self destruction is always in the back of my mind waiting to destroy everything. And my urge to sabotage relationships and push everyone away. They are proud of me for getting better right now. But what happens when I fuck up again? I'm scared.
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And there I was. Alone with the big and scary feelings
And I didn’t know how to let them go
And so I held onto them.
So I kept them.
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iluvyoutoomuch · 2 years
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you own my heart, you own my heart and it's no one else's
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yourveryownkarma · 9 months
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This was composed so many times and lost over and over again or accidentally deleted and it's been scraped and pieced together for about a year now and I always lock it in my notes and save it everytime I re-do it. I think it is now time to let all of you go; and unlock this from my clipboard and give my heart the freedom to be happy again.
I think it took so much of me to be the caregiver I always wished I had, for you... and I may never get that, but maybe you can get what you need if someone has the blueprints of all I learned with you...
As any other vapid girl, it must start with a quote, one I've found fits and it does it beautifully, at least for me.
"They all turned their backs on us because they knew if we held on tight to eachother... we were something fatal... but we fell into the wrong hands."
To the girl who loves him next;
I fucked shit up to the point of no return and the boy this letter is about deserves what I had the potential to give him... had I not been battling demons stronger than myself at the time.
If the first time you meet him it feels like you're in fucking 6th grade meeting your new best friend, talking a mile a minute and never wanting to sleep because you're so excited you found someone this amazing... (I think we spent 3 sleepless days and nights talking and falling so quickly in love it was worse than some freak hurricane, it caught me by surprise and to this day i know ill never laugh that hard again or be that happy again) then listen please, for everything that is holy please just read this a million times so he finally can have the life he deserves. I promise he is worth every fight every melt down every public scene... I fucking swear on it, but you won't know if you don't learn how to help him out of these situations.
The first few times it's going to seem like a fucking nightmare. Please stop and understand me when I say this... "imagine how he feels". As humans we are not very good at seeing beyond our own selfish existence, so it's going to take some actual effort, he's fucking worth it.
Learn his triggers and listen to what the fuck he's saying even if it sounds crazy to you, listen to those words because there's meaning behind them. It's not just to freak out its not just to embarass you and its certainly not Any fun for him. Keep cold water with you for these moments. He needs it to drink and splash his face with.Do not be afraid to jump in a cold shower with him with your clothes on, because no matter how shitty it sounds now... it's some of my favorite memories to look back on, being able to calm him and hear what he is trying to say because you've learned how to help calm him and you've become that much closer. I would sing to him, i wont give the details of that song or that part as its something i want ro keep to myself, it was my favorite song and i havent listened to it or sang it since the day i droppwd him off at the airport.
Don't lie to him, however fragile his ❤️; it can withstand the hard truth, but the sugar coated lie is a slap deep into his soul, please don't break his trust. It's so sacred and beautiful. I know right now you don't think you can handle him, and I'd love to be selfish and tell you to send him on an airplane to me because I miss my best friend and lover, but if you stick this out... he will make you the happiest girl in the whole world. I know from experience. Please do not hurt him. Because if I find out about this, you will have alot bigger troubles than him not being able to let go. He is sensitive and messy and fun and sweet and chaos and perfection... but don't ever make him feel like he is not enough, he isnt... and don't ever make him feel like he's too much... he isn't. He is a perfect portion of all and he taught me how to love myself and he taught me patience in the purest form.
If you give up easily, you can come join my sad club...
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Yours truly, GHOSTGIRL (R.I.P. DEVIL GIRL)
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cringefailamygdala · 1 year
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