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ivystoryweaver · 11 months

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With You (part 1)

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Hi, everyone! This is not my first fic, but it is my first MK fic! I have been on Tumblr for ages, but never actually posted a fic here. (I know this account is newer. My much older one is my more personal blog).

Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

Pairings: Marc Spector x reader, Steven Grant x reader. No references to reader’s gender. No use of Y/N. Reader is engaged to Marc and Steven.

Word Count: 2890

Warnings: Angst, drinking, alcoholism, ummm cursing? Some kissing and stuff? No actual smut. Let me know if I missed a warning. Probably inaccurate DID, based on the show.

Marc was a little quiet lately. Strangely quiet, even for him.

After finishing your shift at the hospital and stumbling home exhausted, you were eager to see your fiancé, maybe even talk to him to see what was going on.

After a brief eternity riding up in the old lift in your building, you finally turned the key in the deadbolt and let yourself into your shared flat. As usual, one of the boys had left on a small lamp in the entry way, its incandescent glow the only illumination in the flat except for the florescent light of Steven’s fish tank.

Depositing your belongings on the entry table and kicking off your shoes, you quietly made your way toward the bedroom. But as you passed the darkened kitchen you heard a whispered, “Shit,” followed by the sound of a glass bottle landing on the countertop.

Marc.

He was drinking. Even with only the moon’s glow through the kitchen window, you could make out his preferred brand of whiskey.

In the span of a heartbeat, you took in the sight before you. Marc was facing away from you, as if he had been staring out the window, perhaps cursing the moon. Sweatpants hung low on his hips as if he’d made little effort to tie the drawstring. He hadn’t bothered with a shirt and the muscles of his back expanded with a labored breath.

Broad shoulders sagged as his fingers gripped the counter’s edge, his head bowed in what was likely shame. His curls tumbled forward, and you were certain that his long fingers had raked through them relentlessly in your absence, to be able to pull them from Marc’s preferred style.

God, he was beautiful like this, in the moonlight. You couldn’t breathe for a moment, and you wondered how he was able to bring this reaction out in you after four years as a couple. Still...you were worried.

“Marc?” You softly called, giving him a moment to hear your voice and acknowledge you before you attempted to touch him. Despite your loving and very physical relationship, he didn’t like to be caught off guard by anything - most especially not by touch.

He sighed so softly you almost didn’t hear it.

“Marc--”

“I know,” he bit out, though his voice was soft, sounding insistent rather than angry.

You paused, confused. “What?”

His hand reached for the whiskey bottle, which he lifted and quickly set back down on the counter, shoving it away from him. The liquid sloshed but didn’t spill - he had already taken care of too much of it himself.

“I know,” he repeated, still refusing look at you, or even lift his head from its bowed position.

Fairly certain you knew what he meant, you clarified, “You mean you know you’re drinking?”

Huffing out a sigh, he pushed his fingers through his curls, shifting uncomfortably. He didn’t want to face you like this. You had been through this - his drinking. It was bad at one point - drinking every night, passing out, getting into fights, but he worked hard and got sober. He worked so hard...

As far as you knew, this was his first drink in two years.

You were devastated on his behalf, but more than anything you wondered what could have caused him to pick up a bottle.

Finally, he turned his head to the side, granting you the view of his profile. “Yeah, I am. So let’s hear it.”

He was waiting for something from you. A lecture? Disbelief, anger, something.

Pausing to calm your racing thoughts, you tried to figure out how to keep from running to him, grabbing him, overwhelming him, smothering him with love and concern.

Impatient, he turned all the way around, leaning against the countertop to glare at you. You could barely see his face in the darkness, but you could imagine the grumpy glower he wore.

“Well?” He asked, sounding more defeated than annoyed.

Squeezing your fists together, you exhaled quietly. Whatever anger or disappointment he was expecting from you tonight, it just wasn’t there. All you felt was overwhelming compassion and deep concern. What had hurt your Marc so deeply? Who were you going to have to tear apart?

Easing toward him, you moved carefully, slowly, angling your body toward his side, ending up beside him. Placing one hand gently on his forearm, you felt it flex in nervous anticipation. He stopped breathing as your eyes flicked up to his.

“Are you hurt, Marc?” You softly inquired, not even daring to squeeze or rub his warm flesh.

Exhaling shakily, he quickly shook his head.

You rubbed your thumb across his arm, feather soft, that small point of contact searing your skin with yearning for him. “Is this okay, sweetheart?”

His chest rose with a pained breath. With a slight nod, his chin dropped down to his chest, unable to look at you anymore.

You dared to rub and down his arm then. Small strokes of your fingertips dancing on his flesh, soothing, not demanding. “Missed you today,” you said sweetly, momentarily ignoring what was clearly agitating him the most - what you would think of him breaking his two-year sobriety.

Truthfully, your concern was growing with every passing moment. But you knew Marc as well as you knew yourself. You could get nowhere with him if he didn’t feel safe. And was so safe with you. You would burn worlds down for this man you were about to marry.

“What are you doing?” he harshly whispered, recoiling only a fraction from your touch. “I almost finished the bottle.” A confession of sorts.

Gently giving his arm a final squeeze, you let go, after laying a soft kiss to his bare shoulder. Reaching for the bottle, you shocked the hell out of your fiancé by taking a swig, wincing as the strong liquid burned your throat.

“Damn,” you gasped, immediately taking another drink. “You didn’t save much for me.” Tipping the bottle again, you never got to your third swig before Marc ripped it from your grasp.

“What the hell are you doing? Don’t drink that shit.” He flung the bottle into the sink, where it crashed and broke. It definitely sounded more dramatic than it looked - he hadn’t tossed it very hard, but you still involuntarily flinched, which, of course, worried and upset Marc.

“Shit, baby...I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to...I didn’t mean to--”

“It’s okay, Marc, I’m okay,” you quickly assured him, moving fully into his personal space for the first time all evening. You decided to move and speak with confidence from here on out. He needed to know where you stood. Placing your palms soothingly on his broad, bare chest, you felt his thundering heart.

“Hey,” you whispered, gazing lovingly up into his frantic eyes. Repeating his name, you waited for him to look down at you, into your eyes, which he finally, reluctantly did.

“I’m sorry,” you softly soothed, reaching up to trace his jaw line with your fingertips. “I didn’t mean to upset you by having a drink.”

“Why?” he harshly whispered. “I don’t want you drinking that.”

You made a face, “Baby, you were drinking that.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” He jerked away from your touch. “So just say what you’re going to say. Just fucking say it.”

So he was waiting on a lecture. Or a fight maybe.

“Is there any more?” you asked as he began to pace the kitchen floor. He looked a bit like a caged animal - contained but alert.

He paused for a moment, almost snarling at you, but seeing your innocent, truly curious expression, he quickly decided that maybe you were really curious and not mocking him.

“Steven’s bookshelf,” he answered candidly. “The one by the closet - you know, the ones he never reads.”

You nodded slowly, pushing off the counter to walk that way. “Clever,” you replied. Marc was hot on your heels but said nothing else until you retrieved a second bottle of whiskey - same brand - and walked it back to the kitchen.

He assumed you would open the cap and pour it down the drain. He actually wanted you to. But all you did after twisting off the cap was take another long, burning swig.

Before he could begin to react, you asked, “Are you going to have anymore to drink tonight?”

Shaking his head in disbelief, he grabbed the bottle from your hand and finished what he thought you had started. The amber liquid tumbled from the bottle, splashing in the sink and filling the air with its stale tang.

“What is wrong with you? Shouldn’t you be the one doing this?” He huffed, dropping the empty bottle to join the first, broken one.

“No, I absolutely should not be the one doing this, Marc,” you evenly responded. “I should not be pouring out the alcohol that you brought into our home. That is not my job.”

“Ah, there it is,” he snapped, his fists clenching as he leaned toward you, ready for a (verbal) fight. “Let’s hear it, then. Tell me how much I fucked up.”

“No.” Your voice was calm and you took a confident but small step backward. It was not a step of fear, but simply a way to diffuse the fight he was apparently expecting.

“Marc, you’re a grown man. I’m not going to scold you, or lecture you, or tell you what to do. And despite what you may have been expecting, I’m not going to fight with you. If you want to drink, you’re going to drink. There is nothing I can do or say to change that.”

He looked stricken. Were you giving up on him? Tears stung the corners of his eyes before he could stop them. He’d had a lot to drink and his head was starting to pound. If you weren’t even putting up a fight, he must have really screwed everything up.

“A-are you...are you going to leave?” He whispered, physically withdrawing, turning to brace himself on the countertop once more.

“No, baby,” you answered him evenly, confidently. “I will never leave you. Not unless you made it impossible for me to live here with you. But you wouldn’t do that. Ever.” Easing over to him, you gently laid your cheek against his bare back. “I’m your partner. Not your boss, or a god or a parent. We’re a team. If you’re hurt, I’m there with you. I’m here, Marc. I’m here.”

“But I fucked up,” he shook his head sadly, his voice breaking. “All that work, all that fucking work to stay sober and I...”

“Exactly,” you agreed, carefully sliding your arms around him from behind, watching for any sign of physical discomfort from him. “You made a choice tonight and you hate the choice you made. That’s all that matters. You’re the person that you answer to. What you say goes. If you want to do better for someone, it has to be you. Not me, not Steven. You. Nothing I do will ever change that. Nothing I ever say will keep someone from doing what they decide to do.”

You squeezed him gently. “So no fights from me. No lectures. But I’m not going to baby you either. If we’re going to drink, that’s the way it’s going to be. You and I can accept that reality or a different one. A reality with no drinking. That’s why I took the drink tonight. It’s just a drink. It’s not evil. It doesn’t have a motive. It’s just liquid in a bottle. It’s what you feel right before you drink -that’s what you have to ask yourself, Marc. What happened right then?”

His body seemed to crumple in on itself and he slowly sank down to the cool tile of the kitchen floor, his back pushing up against the cabinets as he shook his head sorrowfully.

“I can’t,” he gasped, tears trailing down his beautiful, moonlit cheeks. Shaking his head despondently, he turned his broken gaze to yours as you joined him on the floor. “I can’t...everything will change now, I just can’t.”

How could he do this to you...to Steven? He was trying so hard to hide everything he’d learned from Steven - that they were not alone in this body. That there was another. And Khonshu. Stupid, fucking Khonshu still had them enslaved. How could he ever tell the two of you? He had only known for two days and it was killing him inside.

“Come here, baby,” you soothed, reaching to pull him into your arms. Something had happened to set him off. You were certain of it now, more than before, and despite your calm demeanor, you were scared.

Your worries both eased and doubled when his body softened in your embrace and a British accent greeted your ears.

“Darling...what’s all this, then?” Steven asked you, nodding to his state of undress and your positions on the hard kitchen floor.

“Steven,” you breathed, pulling him in for a hug. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he sweetly replied, granting you a soft kiss. “You alright, love?”

Before you could answer, he shook his head slightly, “Bollocks, got a bit of a headache. Has Marc been drinking?”

The look on your face told him everything.

“Bloody hell,” he sighed, rubbing his temples. “Two years sober right down the drain.”

Honestly, the sobriety thing, although crushing for him, was not the highest priority right now. Something was wrong with Marc.

“Steven, let’s go to bed,” you decided, standing up and offering him your hands.

Several minutes later, you and your fiancé slid under the covers, freshly washed up and ready for bed.

“Steven,” you softly repeated his name, running your fingertips over his jaw line, the way you had done with Marc earlier. “I love you.”

“I quite love you too, darling,” he sweetly replied, kissing you softly. “Now tell me what’s the matter.”

“Do you...are you aware of anything going on with Marc?” you asked as Steven’s arms slid securely around you. “I think something’s wrong - like big picture wrong. We didn’t have a fight, like - I don’t think the problem is with us. Did something happen?”

Rubbing your back soothingly, Steven answered the best he could. “Not that I know of. Marc has honestly been a bit closed off with me lately. He is somewhat of a quiet bloke from time to time, but...yeah, I’m pretty certain he’s not been exactly an open book these last few days.”

“Okay,” you breathed, trying to think of what could have happened. “I’m sorry for putting you in the middle, my love. I try not to do that, but he was so upset tonight, and the drinking...”

“He..he didn’t upset you, darling? Or...hurt you? Did he?” His warm brown eyes darkened in concern.

“What, Steven, of course not,” you insisted, sitting up in bed. “You two would never hurt me, I know that.”

“Of course, love, but it’s just...” Steven hesitated, sitting up to join you. “Marc isn’t always at his best when he’s been drinking and...when I was holding you, just then, you--you’re trembling.”

It was true. You hadn’t realized it, but you were more upset than you’d realized.

Letting out a sigh of defeat, you reached for your fiancé, whispering his name pleadingly as you climbed across his lap. Strong arms wrapped around your back, gripping you firmly as he pulled you into his chest.

“I’ve got you,” he breathed against your lips. “It’s alright, love.”

Feeling so safe in his arms, against his strong body, you pressed your lips against his, your fingers caressing up his neck, into his curls. Your body melted into his embrace as you slid your tongue over his. Admittedly, you were feeling a little desperate and Steven was most likely intoxicated, but it was heavenly to feel him pulling you into him as your tongues tangled, hands grasping to get somehow closer.

You went on like that for a short while, rubbing your body against his, sucking on his tongue the way he loved, fingers threaded through his curls, which made him almost feral. Lurching forward, he tumbled on top of you, ignoring the pounding in his head and running his hands up your bare thighs.

Despite how wonderful you felt, he paused, touching his forehead to yours for a moment of reprieve.

“Steven, are you okay?” You managed to whisper between kisses, looping your arms around his neck. “Your head still hurting?” You asked because you could tell he was holding back a little. You had been kissing for a while and his hands had yet to travel underneath your underwear or (Marc’s) oversized white t-shirt.

Easing his forehead down to your collarbone, Steven pressed a kiss to the soft skin of your chest. “Too much bloody whiskey,” he murmured. “Sorry, darling.”

“It’s okay. Feels good,” you breathed on his ear, which made him shiver.

“Didn’t mean to get too distracted, love,” he conceded, rolling off of you and rubbing his temples. “I know you’re worried about Marc. I am too, if I’m honest.”

There were no answers for you that night. Steven realized quickly that he needed some sleep and the two of you hoped that Marc might be there the next morning to give you some answers.

#moon knight #moon knight fic #moon knight fanfiction #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #marc spector x you #steven grant x you #mcu #oscar issac fic

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xoxo-mylove · 1 year

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Missing Something You've Never Had

(Bruce Wayne x Batmom!Reader, Batmom!Reader x Batboys)

*NOT EDITED*

Word count: 5,162

Synopsis: You walk in to your home to find your family looking a t you like a stranger. Your family’s counterparts discover the life they could have had and you severely miss your version of the batboys.

Warnings: Angst, LOTS and lots of angst, self-hate, Bruce Wayne’s destructive thoughts, parental issues, mommy issues and hell daddy issues too, very sad in general, I’m sorry in advance, fluff toward the end

(*A/N: I lied in my last post lol I definitely was not writing but I finished this very sad batmom one-shot that I hope will make up for it before going into this new year! I won’t guarantee another one-shot soon but I will promise you it will be an Al Ghul!Reader! So be on the lookout!! Anyway, keep in mind this Bruce is very much canon Bruce Wayne who is allergic to affection. I hope you enjoy lovelies)

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Coming back from work and seeing your family look at you like you were an alien was definitely...shocking. And yet right there they were.

After not seeing your family in the kitchen once you arrived home. you immediately went down to the Batcave.

Walking down the steps and approaching your husband with a smile you didn’t even hear Barry’s shout ‘Wait Y/N!’ before you embraced your love and felt him stiffen under your touch.

It seems that your action ensued silence over the room and you slowly let Bruce go and looked around the room to see your boys looking at you with obvious shock underneath their cowls and masks.

Damian looks at you with an expression you haven’t been faced with since when he first arrived at the manor. Your baby boy looking at you with suspicion and contempt was staggering. This was the first crack that formed in your heart.

Then there was Tim. Your Tim, looking at you with a guarded appearance and eyes screaming caution. Like you weren’t supposed to be there. Your boy who would immediately come to you after his night out and seek a hug. Now it was like he was looking through you, creating yet another crack in your heart.

Next was Jason whose face added to your heartbreak when he merely glanced at you. Not even sparing you an extra look as if you weren’t someone on his radar. Your Jay-bird looking at you with such indifference and lack of love.

And your first son. Your oldest looking at you with no love but concern. Not concerned for you but for his brothers. As if your mere presence was disrupting something. As if there is no reason you should be there.

No reason.

You glance back at Bruce to see him looking at you with that stare. The guarded batman stare. Now you feel dizzy. Quickly glancing towards Barry not wanting to see your Bruce looking at you like that, you face Barry with widened eyes and a flushed face.

Barry looking at you with genuine sympathy says the words that confirmed all your worst fears. “This isn't your family Y/N. They’re from a different universe”

God, you're going to be sick.

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After seeing your shocked face and the uncomfortable, suffocating silence in the room Barry took you back inside the manor to explain to you and Alfred what happened. Leaving your fa- leaving them in the cave.

Apparently, Barry had a run-in with reverse Flash and somehow your family was sucked into a wormhole transporting them into another universe while taking a version of your family in that universe here. in your universe..... It was all very confusing and devastating to hear and you shed a few tears.

You had to have asked Barry a dozen questions about this other universe about where they could be, how this happened, and most importantly, how you were going to get them back. Barry told you that he and the league are figuring it out and will find them and you believe him.

So here you are sitting at dinner with a different version of your family in silence. It actually makes you want to cry.

Right now the boys would be telling you and Bruce about their day and catching you both up on their lives. Instead, they’re looking down at their plates while awkwardly glancing at you and hurriedly glancing away once you make eye contact with them.

It’s horrible.

And don't even get started on Bruce, that man has made a point to not even glance at you the entire duration of dinner. Just sitting there with a blank face and clearing his throat every few minutes.

It’s horrible.

Having enough of the silence (felt like knives in your back not being able to talk to your family) you clear your throat and immediately all their eyes shoot towards you.

Flushing from the attention your smile hesitantly chooses to try and talk to them instead of silence. They are still your family. They’re still your boys and husband. You’re just not their person right now. And until you can see your family again (you will see them again) you still care for these people and will do anything to make sure they are comfortable in their home.

“I- I know this is- well this situation we are in is very.... umm well it’s very”

“Weird” Dick blurts out before he can stop himself, earning a look from Bruce whose attention has been solely on you since you opened your mouth.

“Yes, Hon- I mean yes, Dick It’s very weird. But this is--- no matter what universe you all are from it’s still your home. And I don’t want you guys to be uncomfortable in your own home so if you have any questions just.... well just ask.”

the silence stretches out between you all before you hear a voice from your left.

“What exactly are you to us- I mean what are you to them?” Tim asks.

The question itself was easy to answer before but now in front of the boys who you know have got through horrible and traumatic things just the same as yours. You don’t know how they will react especially Bruce, Mr. Idontdesrvelove. (Though he’s gotten so much better with you and the kids)

“Well, I'm your guy’s mom.”

Silence. Deafening silence and then Alfred thankfully arrives, saving you from the conversation you know you’ll have to have at some point. But not today. Not when it’s so fresh.

“Miss Y/N, you do have an early day tomorrow so I think it’s all time we retire to bed. I'm sure you all are especially tired from your night.” Alfred says with a sympathetic tone you are so grateful for.

“Of course” You stand up from your chair drawing attention to you once again.

You face your......you face the boys and smile softly and bid them goodnight. Hoping that when you wake up that this is all a bad dream and Bruce will be snoring in the bed and you hear your kid's voices outside the door.

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Bruce’s POV

This is all very uncomfortable. Bruce has a wife whom he’s never met in his life and who is the mother to his children.

Bruce watches you walk up the stairs to a bed that they share or he shares with you. The other him.

Ever since you hugged him in the Batcave and looked at him with eyes so tender and full of love Bruce couldn't help but feel a small amount of jealousy of....the other him. He has it all. He has children and a wife. Who loves him. He must not be as fucked up as he is. Your Bruce probably still has his parents or didn't witness their murder and has healthy coping issues. Yeah, he's envious of this other him.

Bruce looks to his kids to see them also confused staring at you. Is this what your kids have as a mother? Someone to go to for that soft and soothing guidance. How he remembers his mother was to him. He’s not just envious of the other Bruce but envious for his children. His rampant thoughts are stopped when Alfred- your Alfred speaks again.

“master...Master Bruce, I've set you up in the spare room by master Jason’s. It is ready for you to retire in whenever you see fit. Boys your rooms are... well they are ready for you but if this manor is different ill be happy to show you the way.”

“Don't worry Alfred this manor is the same as ours” Jason speaks up for the first time since arriving.

“Very well boys if you need me I'll be in the kitchen preparing tea for Miss Y/N” Alfred takes his leave and the boys instantly start up their conversations.

“This is freaky..” Tim says while glancing at his Bruce and brothers.

“Yeah. We have a...mother in this universe” Dick hesitantly says, like saying the word ‘mother’ is all but confusing to him.

“yeah, I probably don’t get snuffed by Joker in this one” Jason offers sarcastically. Bruce closes his eyes at this and leans back in his chair. He saw Jason’s Robin costume. Identical to the one in their Batcave. Maybe this universe isn’t as good as he thought if your Bruce still couldn’t save Jason from his fate.

Damian ever the blunt kid speaks Bruce's thoughts, “Tch, I don't think so Todd. I saw your infamous Robin costume. Identical to the one in our universe” He says snidely.

“Yeah, me too evil spawn. It’s called a joke.” Jason responds while rolling his eyes.

“Boys. Enough” Bruce says with a firm tone that stops all conversation.

“Let’s go to the sitting room we have a lot to discuss.” Bruce stands up and leaves the kitchen hearing the sound of footsteps and disgruntled murmurs trailing after him.

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Bruces POV

The boys and he have been talking about how to get back to their universe for a while. Bruce has made it a point to not bring up you in the conversation. Silence just ensues and awkward answers when you are brought up.

Talking with Dick about using the Batcave to contact this universes League and help get home he sees Damian get up off the chair and stride to a cabinet filled with...CDs? Damian grabs four of them and hesitantly grabs another looking at it for a second before putting it underneath the other four and walking back to the couch.

“I found CDs that have our names on them.” He announces effectively stopping all conversation and capturing all of our attention.

The silence stretches out before Dick speaks up, “Should we watch them.” When everyone is still silent he hurriedly explains himself “Well, I just mean are you curious about how the other versions of us live. Especially with Y/N”

It's silent again until suddenly Jason stands up ripping the CDs from Damian's hands (making him scramble up to get them back before Dick scolds him) and puts one in effectively shutting everyone up and their attention is drawn to the TV.

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Dick’s POV

This whole day has been extremely weird and uncomfortable. Especially uncomfortable to know that another version of him has another mom. And yet as he watches the home video play out the feeling of uncomfortableness leaves and jealousy replaces it.

He watches Bruce and you record yourself making him his birthday breakfast. Something that sounds so simple and normal it makes Dick’s heart break a little.

“BRUCE STAWP!” You squeal dodging the whipped cream he tries to get on your face. “What? You can do it to me but I can’t do it to you?” your Bruce asks with a smile and whip cream plopped on his nose. “Yes, it is fair because I am the one making our son's birthday breakfast,” You say looking into the camera with a big beautiful smile. The boys and Bruce see your Bruce pick up the camera and record you putting the finishing touches on your Dick’s pancakes. “It’s six a.m love, the kid is still drooling right now” They hear Bruce say behind the camera.“Still Bruce, we need to sing happy birthday first thing in the morning!” your say with a childish whine. While balancing the tray of breakfast food and smiley pancakes in a tray.

Dick feels his throat close up and the need to run away while watching the video. This love that he sees you have for your Dick and the care your Bruce is showing is something he has never experienced since living with Bruce and yet misses. Can you miss something you’ve never had? Because this is definitely how he feels. Dick remembers the touch and love of a mother and watching this just reminds him of the feeling.

The boys watch as Bruce records you opening the door to your Dick’s room and see little dick sleeping with drool on his pillow.“God, he’s going to be embarrassed when he’s older and watches this video” they hear Bruce say with a quiet laugh. You turn and give him a fake stern look and crouch down by Dick’s bed and softly shake him awake. Your Dick slowly opens his eyes and focuses on you. His face instantly lit up and a smile breaks out on his face. “Mom!” he yells out happily pulling the covers back while you set the tray on his lap. Giving him a kiss on the cheek good morning. They hear Bruce laugh and tell Dick happy birthday while giving him an affectionate head shake. The boys and Bruce watch Dick and the two of you sing ‘Happy Birthday’, eat pancakes together, laugh and smile, and basically be a family. The video ends with Dick taking the camera from Bruce and whispering into the lens saying, “This is the best Birthday ever!” with a cheesy smile on his face.

Dick is uncharacteristically silent while everybody looks at him. He finally stands up and takes his CD out putting someone else’s in drawing their attention back to the TV.

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Damian’s POV

This whole thing is ridiculous. Everyone is getting all sappy over a single woman who none of them know. Damian sees this as stupid and it quite frankly makes him angry. He already has a mother. he doesn't need to listen and watch himself with a strange woman.

And yet just like Dick, the anger turns to sadness and he also becomes jealous. Watching another version of himself receive the love and attention that Damian has only seen in movies and read in books. And yet as he watches him and his siblings fight to open presents he is reminded that he is just a kid.

Who just wants a family.

“Everyone! Everyone!” Video you calls out to your children currently fighting for presents. “Because this is Damian’s first Christmas with us he will be opening the first gift,” you say in a tone that makes all your children concede and watch Damian open one of his gifts. As you hand your Damian a gift wrapped in Christmas Robin wrapping and a black bow he immediately dives in and opens it to find a collar. Confused he looks at you and at his father to see you both smiling at him, chuckling. Your Damian watches you leave the room and come back in with a black kitten with white paws in your arms. Damian lets out a loud gasp and runs to you taking the cat in his arms. The camera zooms in on his blinding smile and his small whisper of “Thank you Ummi” to you. The boys and Damian watch as you give him a big kiss on his forehead and Bruce giving him a big hug.

The silence stretches out between the group because everyone knows that in their universe Damian doesn't receive Alfred the cat in such a memorable and sweet way.

Damian especially is just staring at the screen yearning for that motherly love. And a bad thought crosses his mind of what if they just stayed here. Damn the consequences. He wishes for this mom.

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Tim’s POV

Tim’s always been curious and once he saw you giving an affectionate hug to Bruce and the pain that went across your face when his brothers and he looked at you with indifference.

Watching his brother's faces while they watched their home videos he was a little scared of his.

His mother has always been distant and he’s never really experienced motherly love but watching you in the home videos, he’s scared to see you with him and be consumed with jealousy like his brothers. Scared to watch you love a version of himself and not experience that love.

And yet he watches his video and is filled with that feeling anyway.

“Hellooo whoever is watching this home video!” you say with a smile. “It’s probably us sweetheart,” Bruce says popping into the frame. You hurriedly move the camera away from him and talk to the camera. “Ignore him. But today we are at Tim’s school watching him graduate!” you say with a happy squeal and turn the camera to zoom in on Tims's figure clad in his cap and gown, oblivious to your recording him. “Tim is graduating with high honors and receiving multiple awards tonight” the boys and Bruce listen to your Bruce say in an obviously proud tone. The boys watch as multiple names are called and you both politely clapping for every student. And once you hear Tim’s name you both go ballistic. While as ballistic as your Bruce could go by whistling and clapping louder than ever with a proud grin. But for you, you're screaming at the top of your lungs, on the verge of sobbing, shouting “My baby boy!” earning looks from bystanders and laughs from your husband. The video ends with your Bruce recording you giving your Tim the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek while he smiles a bashful smile and celebrates with you and his dad.

Tim’s thoughts run rampant so much that he needs to lie down. He’s never felt this bitter and angry. His Bruce didn't come to his graduation and he’s watching everything he’s ever wanted happen on screen.

It's not right and it's not fair.

Why does your family get you and they don’t?

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

Jason’s POV

He already knows what’s going to be on that CD. He knows how he’ll react and he knows that he mentally can’t do that right now. He can’t watch something that he died for (a mother's love) play out in front of him.

He won't do it.

“I’m going to bed” Jason suddenly announces. It's suffocating in the living room and he can’t deal with looking at anybody’s face any longer.

He doesn't stick around for an answer he just goes up to his...other his’s room. He expects to see a room identical to his but once he opens the door he sees a completely different room.

This one looks lived in. Like someone uses it. In his universe, he rarely goes into his childhood room. Too many memories and too many feelings he rather not face. But this room. There are recent pictures of him. Multiple pictures of him and his... family all happy together.

He hurriedly looks away and strips himself of his extra gear and lies on his..or his bed in silence. He feels uncomfortable very weird.

He turns on his side prepared to close his eyes and hopefully not wake up for a long time when he sees it. On his bedside table is a framed photo of you and him. He’s in front of you smiling a cheesy bright smile (missing teeth prominent in the photo) dressed in a Peter Pan costume. Your arms are wrapped around his neck with a beautiful grin on your face dressed in a Tinker bell costume.

It’s so stupid but it makes him smile like a fool because at least a version of himself finally received the love of a mother.

Something he’s yearned for all his life before joker was to have a mother in his life and the thought that he gets that in a different universe is what makes it easy for him to close his eyes and sleep that night.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

Bruce’s POV

Jason just left and the suffocating silence returns.

Bruce sees Dick slowly rise from the couch and tell everybody to go to bed and something about talking more in the morning. He hears his sons rise from the couch sleepily making their way into their rooms and feels Dick linger by the doorway.

“Bruce are....are you going to bed?” he hears the hesitance in his voice and he wonders if Dick was going to ask him a different question but stopped himself.

Isn’t that the relationship they have? Unable to communicate and ask each other what's wrong.

It’s all his fault.

If he wasn’t so scared he could have found Y/N in his life and his family would have been different.

He would have been different.

he finally finds words to answer his son, “I think...I think I'm going to stay up a little while longer.” he says while turning his profile to him.

Bruce hears him whisper a soft “okay” and walks off into his room for the night. He waits until he hears the door close, to get up off the couch and grab the CD labeled ‘Wedding’.

The mere title makes his stomach drop but he’s always been one to emotionally scar himself. He sits back down to watch the video play out. He releases a strangled sigh when he sees himself in a suit and tie.

“What does the Groom to be have to say on this lovely day” a voice Bruce recognizes as Clark says. He sees himself looking at the camera dressed to impress with a small smile on his face rolling his eyes at his friend's tone. “I'm very happy today Clark” the lucky him responds. “Oh yeah! Why might that be you think?” Your Bruce sighs, “Because I'm getting married to the love of my life Clark.” Bruce hears your Clark release an annoying ‘awwww’ that makes your bruce roll his eyes and shoo him off. He watches the video for a while and he sees the whole league there. He sees his friends as Bruce Wayne and Batman all together for you and your Bruce. He watches your friends and your Bruces friends leave sweet heartfelt messages that you both probably watched later. Alfred's message is what makes his throat constrict. “I’ve known Master Bruce since he was a little boy and I can't tell you how happy it makes me to be able to see him finally share his life with the most graceful woman on this planet. Someone who continues to amaze me with her beautiful character and who I think of as a daughter. I am unbelievably happy that my boy has met you and is going to spend the rest of his life with you. I love you both very much.” With tears building in his eyes, he sees Clark open the door to see you in a white dress with a brilliant smile. When you open your mouth to speak is when the video starts to buffer and stop.

Bruce sits up in his seat praying that the video starts to work again when it completely pauses on your face.

The video stopped working.

And maybe that is the breaking point but the tears fall and he drops his head into his hands. Shoulders shaking and gasping for breath he cries. He cries because of the life he could’ve lived. The person he could have lived it with.

He cries for the mother his kids could have had and the presence that could have helped them through their lives. His kids. His wonderful kids deserved that and he hates himself for not giving that to them.

He also hates himself for not letting himself have that.

He doesn't know how but he eventually gets up off the couch and walks to the extra room by Jason’s. He passes your room on the way and just stands in front of it. This is the room you share with him. The other him.

He wonders what it feels like to sleep in another person's arms for years. He never knew he could want something like that.

He doesn't sleep that night. Not even a little bit.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

Y/N’s POV

Waking up today felt like a dream for you. You closed your eyes relishing in the warmth you expected to be there only to feel cold.

Your eyes snap open. Oh yeah, he’s not here.

They’re not here. And yet they are. They are all inside the manor in their rooms but they are not yours. They are not your boys or husband. They are versions of your kids and best friend.

But that doesn't mean you can be weird to them you scold yourself.

This is weird to them too. This woman they’ve never met in their lives claiming to be their mother and wife. You’d be freaked out too.

Right there in your bed, you swear to at least talk to your kids. Even though they are not your kids you could never not love any version of them. Getting ready for the day you walk downstairs to see them all inside the kitchen.

Immediately all their eyes draw to you and you smile at them softly. “Good Morning,” you say to them all, failing to catch Bruce’s eyes. You hear soft greetings back while getting your coffee ready.

“I’ve warmed up the car for you Miss Y/N” you hear Alfred say.

“Oh thank you! I'll be leaving in a few,” you reply back gratefully. You never wake up early enough to do it yourself. Bruce usually does it for you during the cold months.

“Where are you going?” you hear five different voices say all at once. You turn around to see them all looking expectantly at you.

Shocked that they’ve said more than three words to you. It takes you a while to reply.

“Oh, I um I'm going to work in early today, I'm an architect.” The silence and surprise in their eyes is kind of insulting. They must notice you take offense because Dick hurriedly tries to explain their shock.

“Not in an offensive way course. You seem very smart. It’s just being an architect in Gotham City. How do you find work?" he asks.

“Oh well, I usually deal with orphanages and hospitals in the city. And because it’s Gotham those are the most important buildings,” you say with a sad like chuckle.

“so you are not a vigilante?” Damian suddenly asks. The question receives looks from his brothers and father but a laugh just escapes you.

“Oh god no, the only vigilante work I do is cardio and that is enough in itself,” you say with a smart smile. They all give chuckles probably humoring you. Before you're hit with the reminder of leaving for your job

“Shoot it’s seven! I- I gotta go but call if you need anything and.. and if you guys find anything out.” You look to see them all give you a nod and bid you goodbye before you are out the door.

Progress? hopefully.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

Bruce’s POV

It’s been hours since you left and now he and the kids are at league headquarters trying to get back home. And bring your family home. Even though they may not want to leave. As selfish as it is he wants to stay. Even though he knows he’s not yours he would love to feel an ounce of what it's like to be loved by you.

But because he knows you are deserving of the love back he knows he has to get your Bruce back.

Your Barry has been going on and on about the plan he has to travel through the speed force successfully bringing this universe’s bat family back and then taking Bruce’s back to their universe. Everyone crowds around to see him do it. With his boys at his side, he watches the blinding red light zoom back and forth before eventually disappearing.

His family, the league members, and himself wait silently staring out waiting for Barry to come back. To come back with their lucky counterparts.

Bruce holds his breath when he sees Barry coming back and releases it when he sees Barry....with your family. He sees the exact version of his family all release breaths of relief and immediately look for someone.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out who they are looking for.

Finally, it seems like they spot Bruce and his kids cause they all simultaneously tense up and guard their expressions. It’s staggering how alike they both look at that moment but they both know only one of them has you.

That’s what makes them different.

They all silently watch your family embrace their friends in the league before they walk to Bruce and his children.

It’s that awkward silence again before your Bruce speaks to him.

“How is she?” Three simple words that will stick with Bruce forever.

“She’s okay. The last time we saw her she was just leaving for work.”

Your Bruce just gives him a nod and walks off. Telling his sons he’ll be waiting in the car. Bruce imagines he’s antsy to see you. He would want to speed home if he knew he had someone like you waiting for him.

He’s about to walk back to your Barry to finally go home when your Damian speaks up, “You imbeciles better not have caused any heartache to my mother. Or I will personally ask Allen to take me ba-”

“OKAY! That’s enough of you Damian. Go wait in the car with Dad.” Dick says with his hand pointed to the black car.

“But I wa-”

“Go.” This time it’s Jason and Tim telling him and Damian just rolls his eyes and walks to the car muttering insults under his breath.

Your boys turn back to face Him and his kids, and Dick tries to start up a conversation but it’s too awkward talking to another version of yourself so they bid Bruce and his family goodbye, and they watch them walk to their car. Back home to you.

And once they safely arrive back in their universe it’s weird because they know what they're missing. What they could have had.

You.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

Y/N’s POV

Walking into your home your not expecting to be bombarded with hugs.

Not. At. All.

Still expecting for the other version of your family to be home or in the cave.

But you feel multiple familiar arms wrap around your waist and shoulders and you instantly know they’re home.

You almost cry out of relief when they all scream ‘MOM!’ and squeeze you extra tight.

“AHHH my baby birds! I missed you!” You squeal out wrapping your arms (or trying to) all around your boys, kissing them all over their faces, and smothering them in your arms. You feel them loosen up and get a good look at all their faces and the tears start building in your eyes. Gods, you missed them so much. The horrible thought of never seeing them again had you going throughout your day feeling horrible.

You caress the cheeks and kiss all their forehead until they're begging you to stop. and trying to escape. You look down to see Damian still cuddled up to your side and almost melt, you kiss him on the head once more.

You hear all your kids talking at once trying to listen when you see him behind them. You smile with tears running down your cheeks and your kids part away from you and you run toward your husband, crying into his chest and hugging him with all your might. You feel your Bruce instantly wrap his arms tight around your waist and tuck his head into your neck.

“I- I missed you... I missed you so much. So much” you say through tears.

“I know sweetheart. Me too. Me too.” You hear him whisper into your neck and pull his face back.

You look up to see him analyzing every aspect of your face, looking at you like you’re not real.

You instantly wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him and it finally hits you that they are home. That he’s home.

And you can finally breathe again.

BROOO I definitely got carried away lol. AHHH BUT I LOVE IT SO WHO CARES! I've had this in my drafts for months and I'm so excited to finally be posting it. I hope you all ENJOYED! LOVE YOU LOTS! Feedback is always appreciated!! <333

#dceu universe #batfamily #bruce wayne #dceu fanfiction #bruce wayne x reader #batmom x dick grayson #batmom x tim drake #batmom x damian wayne #batmom x jason todd #sadbat dad #dceu oneshot #dceu x reader #batfamily angst #architect!y/n

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phebbsl · 3 months

Text

A Part of Your World- Chapter 1

Stardew Sebastian x GN!Reader

Summary:

Sebastian’s resolve to not meet the new farmer lasts all but two weeks. To be fair, it’s not of his own volition.

You never thought you had to resolve to not get literally sucked into your favorite game, but now here you are. And now you have a farm to manage and a pretty boy to woo.

Or: My spin on the life in Pelican Town, and Heart Events, featuring a GN!Reader (possibly/probably Isekai???).

Cross posted from my AO3, phebbsl

♡

Sebastian’s resolve to not meet the new farmer lasts all but two weeks. To be fair, it’s not of his own volition.

He had stumbled out of his bedroom in the afternoon, late afternoon mind you, and promptly walked in on you and his mom discussing options for a new coop.

It was the day after the Egg Festival. Abigail had lost the Egg hunt for the first time in years, and was inconsolable for the whole night yesterday. Not in the ‘holy shit I lost and I’m absolutely devastated’ way with tears, but in ‘holy shit, did you see the Farmer??? they’re so hot’ type of way.

The trio of friends had stayed up late at Sebastian’s room for the rest of the night, drinking and using his ‘vase’. Abigail continued to gush about the Farmer, only slightly put out that her win streak ended.

“I mean, did you see them in that little straw hat? How cute!” she cooed.

Sam joined in too, all red-faced, blushing. The Farmer had stopped by his house when they first moved in, introducing themselves sweetly, and had even tossed over a can of Joja Cola to the blonde. Sam had suspected that it had been fished up from the river, judging by scuffs and slightly musty river-y smell, but had downed it anyway (and kept the can).

Why Sam drinks treasures those little blue cans of diabetes and Yoba-knows-what when he literally works at Joja and knows damn well how unhealthy it is, Sebastian will never know.

Sebastian spent the rest of the night, totally not sulking on his bed, casting mournful glances at the game table, all set up for a round of Solarian, as he listened to his friends’ gossip about the newest member of the town.

Abigail and Sam didn’t leave until well past midnight, and while Sebastian was used to long nights hunched over his computer, the day’s festivities had worn him out completely.

Thus, leading to him crawling out of his mom’s basement like a cave-goblin, obvious to all that he had woken up past the accepted hours for any normal person, even later than he typically would’ve. Upon seeing you, he was completely determined to turn around, go back to bed, and hide enjoy his solitude until you were gone. That was, before his mother had stepped in, ever so glad to take any opportunities to socialize him.

“Have you met my son, Sebastian?” Robin prods, with a sly grin, before slinking away to leave the two of you to socialize.

Great, now he had to interact with you.

He mumbles out a greeting and his name and takes you in.

You don’t look like a farmer. At least, not the stereotypical version of he had come up in his head. To be fair, he only really envisioned a grizzled old man, smudged with dirt and hands full of calluses. Basically, your grandfather. He had only caught a brief glance at the festival yesterday, and was uninterested in looking further. Now, he realized that his friends were right.

‘Oh no, they’re hot!’ echoes in his brain, soundly strangely like Squidward.

You’re exactly his type, with pretty eyes he could just drown in to boot, your straw hat prize from yesterday perched on your head. You’d even wound a crown of flowers around the base. He’s not a big fan of flowers, but daffodils suddenly look a million times better. Yellow looks good on you, he thinks.

He urges his brain to reboot and act like a normal person. Suddenly, he wants to make a good impression on you, curse his traitorous hormones.

“Oh. You just moved in, right? Cool. Out of all the places you could live, you chose Pelican Town?”

Nice. Cool, slightly aloof, and hopefully he didn’t sound too much like a dick.

You shrug and spin off the truly humongous backpack you have strapped on.

‘Damn, Pierre found someone to sell that thing to, huh?’ he thinks absently.

He and Abigail had spent an embarrassingly long time giggling at the giant monstrosity when it had arrived at Pierre's, while the store owner wilted behind the register, his plans to sell backpacks to one-up Joja foiled.

Sebastian watches with confusion as you proceed to stick your arm in the pack, rummaging, before producing a frozen tear, then dropping it into his hands. He stares at it, flabbergasted.

“I really love this. How did you know?” He finally manages to say.

“Just had a feeling,” you shrug again.

Robin comes back, interrupting the moment.

“I found the paint swatches for the coop! Let me know which one you’d like.”

You break away to discuss color options, and Sebastain stays, silently rolling the frozen tear in between his fingers. More words of gratitude are stuck in his throat.

Eventually, you and Robin finish, the latter rolling up the blueprints with promises to start working the next day.

“It was nice to meet you,” you give a little wave with a wiggle of your fingers.

“Uh yeah, same here.”

‘Wow, real eloquent,’ Sebastian snarks internally.

He finally leaves for the kitchen to grab food to start his day.

“Are you going to Sam’s? You should change before you go,” Robin enters as well, snickering.

Sebastian looks down.

Fuck, he had just met the most attractive person he’d ever seen and he was in his damn froggie printed pajama pants.

‘I knew I should’ve just stayed in my room,’ he thinks. But, glancing at the frozen tear next to his cup of coffee, he knows he might just wake up early again the next time you visit.

♡

I’m playing with the idea of having the farmer be from our world, like an isekai, I think it opens up more possibilities and has potential to become a bigger story than just a series of one shots, but I’m still not sure yet.

Let me know what you guys think!

#sdv farmer #farmer x sebastian #gn reader #gn!reader #stardew valley #sebastian x reader #sdv sebastian #stardew sebastian x reader #sdv sebastian x farmer #sdv sebastian x reader #pheebsfics

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youngpeachenthusiast · 25 days

Text

this is going to be a post about my experience with my gender identity and there's definitely going to be some (a lot of) oversharing so uh... more under the cut??

sometimes i find myself reflecting on how my identity came to be, and the more i think about it, the more i think my mom is very wrong when she says there were "absolutely no signs".

while throughout my childhood i did present very femininely, i remember that ever since i was a little boy i secretly was convinced that one day i would literally just grow a penis. i understood that there was some kind of difference between the genitalia of boys and my own, but i thought it was simply a matter of time and my very own penis would grow in its own time. i started puberty very early on and when my clitoris started enlarging i thought "this is it, it's finally happening".

needless to say it didn't happen. and when a few months later we got our very first sex ed and i learned that i was inevitably going to become a young lady, well... i was devastated. i remember crying on multiple occasions to my mother because i desperately didn't want to go through puberty. having real proper panic attacks about it. i remember the first time a friend commented on my breasts coming in. i remember trying to bind with a headband only to be caught and punished by my mother. i remember getting my first period and doing everything in my power to hide it from her, because as long as she didn't know i could still close my eyes and cover my ears and pray that it would just go away.

even not taking the relationship with my body into account, i was changing my name multiple times a month because mine didn't fit, and i just couldn't figure out what was going on.

all of this long before i even knew that something such as being transgender existed.

i was 13 when i first met a transgender person. as soon as i saw them and i learned who they were, i knew the answer. that was me. that had always been me, indubitably.

it took some time before i actually accepted that in no way i could ever stay alive and be a woman at the same time. when i finally did, that's when my life started getting better. years and years of self hatred found their answer in something so trivial as being a man.

so i think of my mother, who argues that "there were no signs" and still refuses to refer to me by my name and pronouns because she's convinced i'll change my mind (after five years of very much not changing my mind), and i do not know how to feel.

there were so, so many signs. i'm not sure i would even call them signs, it was just me existing after all.

and sure, early signs don't matter and i can still be trans even if nothing pointed to it in the slightest in the past. but also. the signs were there, and i'm very tired of pretending they were not.

i don't know why i'm here posting about all of this. discussing my early view of genitalia and all. i suppose i'm just looking for someone like me, who will make me feel less alone. the "girly girl" who always kept so much of his discomfort to himself.

i am honestly amazed that human beings can experience this kind of feelings over their body and social constructs and... everything, really. it does hurt like hell, sure. but it is incredible how deep of an experience i can have with something as simple as an organ of my body.

anyway. thanks for reading my oversharing. or whatever. goodnight!

#elliot talks #transgender man #transgender #trans man #trans people #gender identity #gender dysphoria #dysphoria #queer #queerness #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #lgbtqia community #transblr #trans

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the1975attheirverybest · 1 year

Text

Education

Lesson #2: Friends Help Friends Cum.

A/N: this wasn’t supposed to be posted until next week. But , I think in light of the current state of Twitter, we could all use a reset. So, here you go. warnings: smut.

"Wanna get the fuck outta here?" Matty walked straight up to her in the crowded room, drink in one hand, a blunt in the other.

She all but jumped out of her skin. "Holy shi- hello to you, too!" All this time and self-restraint she'd wasted trying to avoid him, not keep her eyes on his every move or watch his every interaction at the party, not think about his hand between her legs the other night, his voice encouraging her, his touch lighting her up, he has ruined it all in 5 seconds.

"Seriously, this party's kinda depressing. Wanna go someplace else?"

"Did you have somewhere in mind?"

Matty shrugged, "not really. could be out on the front steps for all I care. Just- something about being surrounded by all of this" He waved his armed in no specific shape or direction, "it's just- sad."

she nodded. Matty took her by surprise when he grabbed her hand and led her, confidently, through the crowd. She was devastated. She never imagined herself to be such a cliche. The whole "inexperienced, bumbling idiot catches feelings for the bad boy who occasionally sleeps with her" thing is such a tried and tired trope. And, yet, here she finds herself, sweating through her top because he's holding her hand when he didn't necessarily NEED to. She always thought if she were to make a fool of herself over a boy, she’d at least be original about it. But the truth is that her experience is one she shares with all the women in his phone.

***

"I have to say, I never thought I'd see the day that Matty Healy willingly leaves a party early." She took a sip of the drink he'd brought with him, passing the glass back to him. "I mean, we're literally four feet away, on the stairs, but still."

Matty laughed softly, looking up at the sky and considering her words, as if an answer were written in the nights stars. After a moment's pause, he simply shrugged. "Just trying to grow up, I guess."

"That's-"

"Pathetic ?"

"Hot, actually." the words that left her mouth surprised her. She blushed instantly, internally kicking herself for being so careless with her tongue. If Matty was thrown off, he didn't show it.

"I thought you liked my, umm- wait, what did you always used to call it?"

"Sophisticated dickhead act." she reminded him. It sounded more like condemnation.

"Ah, yes! ‘Sophisticated dickhead.’ that's it."

"You pulled it off beautiful, don't get me wrong. But, doing the difficult thing and being a responsible adult, that's...gonna get you so laid."

They both laughed.

"Speaking of getting laid." Matty quirked an eyebrow, looking at her suggestively. "I'm just the right amount of sad, horny, and stoned. Wanna go somewhere?"

"My place."

***

“Lay down for me?” Matty adjusted the pillows on the bed, fluffing them up so they’d be comfortable for her. She blanked for a moment. Focusing a little too much on the “for me.”

“yes- okay.”

“thanks, Darling.”

Oh, she was so in for it. Desperate for a change of topic, she said the first thing that popped into her head. “So, what’d you have in mind for today?”

Matty giggled. “You make it sound so clinical.”

“well, we’re not exactly, making love or anything.” She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. Matty hesitated for a moment, his brows curled. “No, I guess we’re not- anyway, I, umm, was going to ask you if you like getting head?”

Now, that, was a swift transition. “I- uhh- sorry, what?”

“do you like it when guys go down on you?” He asked, bluntly, yet again.

“I, uhhh. No. Sorry.” She squirmed away in embarrassment. “No, don’t apologize! I’m glad I asked first!”

unprompted, she began to offer up all sorts of explanations. “It’s always boring. Either doesn’t feel pleasurable at all, or feels kinda gross like they’re drooling on me or something. And then there’s that weird feeling of guilt. Like- like, they’re at least trying so I have to be nice about it. I can’t tell them to stop, can I? So- umm…I just end up faking it to get them to quit.”

“Oh, I see.”

“what?” She could see a look on his face that she wasn’t able to read. “Nothing, nothing.”

“Matty, tell me!”

“It- well, it just sounds like these guys didn’t know what they were doing. And- I mean, if we were to do it, I would never make you have to fake it.”

“oh, really? Is that so?” She smiled, mildly intrigued by the idea. “yeah, I mean- this is, like, the wankiest shit I’ve ever said- I don’t mean to mansplain the female orgasm to you- I just- I’ve had great reviews is what I’m saying. But, I don’t wanna push it. If you say you don’t like it, then you don’t like it. We’ll just do something else-“

“no, no. Hold on a minute. I wanna try.”

“you do?”

“yeah, I mean, that’s the point of this-“ she stuttered for a moment, “this sex education course…”

“Is that what we’re calling it, then?” Matty chuckled, making her wonder if he meant anything by this question. Did he want it to be what they’re doing? Did he not? “Alright, let’s give it a try. But if you feel uncomfortable or change your mind at any moment, you let me know and we’ll stop, okay?”

she smiled, nodding. “if you’re too overwhelmed to speak in the moment, just squeeze my hand three times and I’ll stop. Okay? That’ll be our signal.”

*** She couldn’t deny it. Matty was right. He knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, as she’d suspected, it was all in the foreplay. The way he’d delicately touched her, whispered into her ear every single obscene thought that he looked forward to “showing” her and “teaching” her. The way his hands grazed past her nipples, ran down her legs. Hover over her thighs. She was already wet before his tongue had even touched her. “Relax, darling. Don’t worry about a thing, yeah? No pressure.” There was that ‘darling’ again. At long last, he dipped his head between her thighs, licking into her. She gasped, her body raising slightly, before Matty’s firm grip over her waist kept her in place. Something about his strong arm pinning her down so effortlessly stirred desire within her, so when she felt his mouth at work again, she had to bite her lip to keep from screaming. “Holy shit! Matty- I- ahh”

Soon, she’d abandoned the idea of remaining quiet. She was begging and moaning for him. Matty pulled away from her with an obscene slurping sound. “How’re we doing, honey? Still feeling good? Havin fun?”

she appreciated the check in but she also desperately wanted him to shut the fuck up and get back to eating her out.

“Yes, yes, yes. Fine. Fun. Just please-“ her hand reached for his hair, shoving him back down. She imagined that he was smiling. *** ”hey, you look…all blissed out. So it wasn’t fake then?” Matty grinned down at her as she struggled to catch a breath after her orgasm. “Absolutely not.”

“good to know.” He winked. “Okay, now your turn.” She sat up on her elbows, looking at him with anticipation.

“what?” He laughed nervously. “you scratch my back; I scratch yours. Drop your jeans, Healy. Let’s go.”

“we don’t have to do that right now, you know. It’s not a transaction. That’s not the point-“

“I want to. Please? C’mon. Unless you’re not in the mood, then-“

“For you? Im always in the mood.”

*** “Fuckin hell, baby. So good for- just relax your jaw- open up a bit more, that’s it.” Matty mumbled something under his breath, his head tipped backwards, his eyes clothes. “Fuckin perfecttt.”

She felt her breathing flatten, fighting the urge to move her mouth, she kept going, even attempting, at one point, to surprise him and take more of him into her mouth. Unfortunately, her eagerness was not reflected in her gag reflex.

Matty’s eyes shot open, looking down at her. “You alright? Gosh, why did you do that for. I didn’t say you needed to!”

“sorry, sorry, I’m fine! I just thought- I don’t know what I thought.” She look downwards, still heaving and coughing, and now embarrassed. Matty reached over and wiped at the drool with the back of his hand. “Good students follow instructions. Just do as I say, will you?”

she nodded. “You wanna keep going?”

“yeah” as soon as she opened her mouth back up, she realized that she did, not, in fact want to keep going. She reached for his hand and squeezed it three times, instantly getting his attention. “what? What is it, baby?”

“jaw is tired. Don’t wanna do this anymore.”

He pulled away immediately. “Alright. That okay. Thanks for telling me.”

***

“so, how’s that jaw?”

she rolled her eyes. “It’s fine, Matty! Just like the last five times you asked.”

“And your knees?” His arms squeezed her closer to his side. “my knees never hurt in the first place. Cuz you set down a pillow and all.”

“okay. Just makin sure.”

“You don’t have to worry about me. Your dick is not that powerful. You ah end broken me.”

Matty chuckled, shaking his head. “Alright, let’s go to sleep then.” He turned his back towards her for a moment, to turn out the bedside lamp. “Hey, what are we?” He asked, flicking the switch off. The darkness hid her shocked and confused expression. “What?”

“I mean, I know I’m showing you all these things…but, I guess I never know if that’s all it is?”

“w-what do you mean?” Her heart drummed with anticipation. He feels it, too. He thinks about it, too. It’s not all in her head. “I mean, I never know where the boundaries are…like, am I allowed to kiss you? Like when we greet each other and stuff?” He paused for a moment. “Nah, that would get too confusing, wouldn’t it? Guess I just answered my own question, didn’t I? We’re friends. Friends don’t kiss. Yeah?”

“y- umm- right. Yeah. Friends don’t kiss.”

“okay. Glad we cleared that up. Goodnight.” he rolled over on his side, eventually falling asleep. Leaving her wide awake right by his side.

#matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfic #matty healy x reader #matty healy x y/n #matty healy x you #matty healy smut #matty healy fic

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starkstruck27 · 3 months

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It's been forever since I posted on here, so since I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, have some ftm Billy Hargrove. Also, ignore the timeline here, it isn't exactly accurate, but I don't really care lol. TWs: Very minor nod to domestic/child abuse, a touch of body dysmorphia, and depression

Billy usually wasn't this talkative after hooking up with someone, but this wasn't an ordinary hook-up. It was the 27th time he'd hooked up with Steve Harrington since he'd moved into town almost 6 months ago (not that he was keeping track or anything), but that wasn't what made it different.

It was different because this was the first time he'd ever let Steve see him naked. It was the first time he let him fully take in the body he'd been touching and praising and thrilling for months, and Steve hadn't immediately been repulsed and thrown him out. Billy had been terrified of that, if he showed Steve the scars on his chest and the distinct lack of anything between his legs and he reacted badly, he could end up dead or nearly dead, broken and bloody and devastated.

But none of those things happened, and he knew he shouldn't have worried, anyway. Steve had known for the last 2 months about the way Billy was. He'd finally told him after he pitched a fit when Billy wouldn't let him jerk him off in exchange for a blowjob behind the school. Steve had been raving and ranting so loud, Billy was afraid people would hear, so he shoved him against the wall, put a hand over his mouth and just told him he couldn't. Steve had been confused at first, but when Billy explained it, he could actually see the lightbulb clicking on in Steve's head. He'd reached up and taken Billy's hand from his mouth then, and told him that he understood, but that it didn't change anything. He still thought Billy was hot, he still liked spending time with him, and he still wanted to hook up as long as Billy was on board with it. That'd been another time when things changed during their hook-ups, because that'd been the first time Billy kissed him.

But this time felt even more different than that, because Steve had seen him, truly seen him, for the first time ever, and he didn't care. It didn't change anything, and yet everything had changed. Billy felt completely normal, and completely safe, for the first time in his whole life, and that was everything to him.

He figured that was why now, after they'd cleaned themselves up and gotten settled in Steve's bed, he was so willing to talk about everything.

It was the most he'd talked to anyone since he'd first moved to Hawkins, and as he laid there, resting his head on Steve's chest, he didn't know whether the floaty feeling in his chest was the weight of his burdens being lifted or air sickness from flying on the high of being completely honest with somebody else.

"So, you said you were six when you first noticed something about you was different?" Steve asked, tracing his fingers up and down Billy's side and giving him chills.

"I think so. That was at least when I figured out how to voice it. I think I always kinda knew, I just didn't know how to articulate it, so I never tried. Besides, I was afraid of what my dad would do if he ever found out. It was hell trying to live with that for as long as I did. I didn't hate playing with dolls and stuff, but if ever I was playing house or something with my friends, I always volunteered to be the daddy while everyone else always wanted to be the mommy. And if we were playing princesses or something, I was always the knight or the dragon because I hated being the princess. I always chose the plainest solid-color clothes the girl's section had to offer because I couldn't get the ones I really wanted from the boy's section, so I had to make do. I felt like I had a pit in my stomach and every time I was reminded that the way I looked outside didn't match who I was inside, it would grow a little bit until it felt like that was all that was left of me. I felt like a captive animal, stuck in a cage against my will for people to come and look at for their own amusement. But I couldn't tell any of this to my mom, otherwise my dad would somehow know, so I just kinda kept it to myself. When he eventually did find out, I was really surprised because he didn't even seem to care. I don't know if it was just because he didn't care about me in general or if he saw it as another thing to use against me. I assume his logic was that if he let me change myself, he could get around that whole "a man shouldn't hit a woman" thing, although that never stopped him before, so I don't know," Billy said, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him. It felt good being able to be so open and honest with somebody else, but there were still things that were hard to talk about for too long. But Steve seemed to understand that, and he never pushed, he just leaned down and kissed Billy's head softly.

"And you were how old when you told them?" Steve asked, pulling the blankets up a bit as he felt Billy shiver again.

"Twelve. It was right after my mom left, and my dad said we were going to move, so since I was going to have to start a new school, I asked if I could register under a different name, and I told him then. I think I had a heart attack when he said yes. Then I spent the weeks leading up to the move the happiest I'd ever been. I gave myself a haircut, which wasn't half bad for my first attempt ever at cutting my own hair, and then I thought about what name I wanted to go with when my dad signed me up for school. That was the hardest part, I think, because I had no idea what to call myself. None of the names I tried out really fit me, and I agonized over it for weeks, but nothing felt right," Billy said, snuggling closer to Steve under the blanket. "Eventually I had to pick something, so I just went with Fred."

"Why Fred?" Steve chuckled lightly, making Billy blush and smile a little sheepishly.

"Because he was my favorite character on Scooby-Doo," he replied, his heart soaring at the sound of Steve's laugh resonating in his chest. He couldn't help but laugh a little himself, his blush burning bright in his cheeks as he did.

"So then how did Billy come about?" Steve asked as he settled down a bit, his hand moving up to play with some of Billy's curls.

"Well, I cycled through a few names throughout the years, trying to find something that felt right. Fred didn't cut it, and neither did any of the other names I'd tried throughout middle and high school. I was going by Jamie right before we moved here, but I was trying to come up with something new before that, and I couldn't think of anything. But then a buddy and I went to see the movie St. Elmo's Fire when it came out, and I got it from that," Billy explained, starting to trace patterns on Steve's chest. "Rob Lowe was in the movie, and I remember when we were trying to figure out what movie to see, my friend stopped next to the poster outside the theater and said, "Oh my God, he looks just like Jamie". So we decided why not give that movie a try, and it was really good, but my friend could not get over how much I looked like Rob Lowe. It was honestly kind of surreal for me, too, because it was like looking in a mirror whenever he was on screen. But it wasn't just that we looked alike, it was also the fact that his character was everything I'd ever wanted to be. He was a smart ass and he was confident and a complete mess and he had style and he cared about his friends more than anything, and he was just so complex. And I remember watching the movie and just wanting to be him, not just look like him. I wanted to be as horrible and as funny and as messy and as complex and as layered and authentic and devil-may-care as he was, more than anything else in the world. So when we moved, I decided to try and become him, starting with the name. I wasn't ever gonna be Billy Hicks, but I figured being Billy Hargrove might be just as good. And the first time I said it to myself in the mirror, it finally felt right. It was the first time any name made me feel like a normal person, like a normal guy. I knew then that Billy was the only name I'd ever go by from then on."

"It was a good choice," Steve said, "It's perfect for you."

"Thanks," Billy said, smiling shyly to himself.

Neither of them said anything for a while after that. Billy had talked himself out, and Steve was perfectly fine with just lying there with him. He cared a lot about Billy, and it made him feel the strongest sense of pride he'd ever felt that Billy trusted him enough to tell him about himself, to let him see behind the walls he constructed, when so very few others got that privilege. He knew a little more about what made Billy tick, and he loved knowing. Or maybe he just loved him.

Billy was beginning to drift off by now, the quiet stillness of the room allowing Steve's steady heartbeat to lull him into drowsiness, but then it began to get faster, and Billy could feel Steve breathing deeply, like he was about to ask something else.

"You don't have to tell me this if you don't want to, but..." he started, his voice barely a whisper. "What was your name before you figured out who you were?"

"Like, the name my parents gave me?" Billy asked, leaning up on his arm as he woke up a bit, "Why?"

Steve shrugged, "Just curious. You don't have to tell me, though. Now that I'm thinking about it, it was kind of an invasive question. Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"Hey, don't worry, it's okay," Billy said, using his other hand to turn Steve's face so he was looking at him. "I was just making sure it wasn't for any other reason that you wanted to know. But I trust you, and I like being able tell you things. It's nice being able to talk about my past without being afraid of what might happen," he paused, leaning down to kiss Steve before coming back up and looking into his eyes. "I'll tell you, but you gotta make me a promise that it'll never leave this room, okay?"

"I promise," Steve said, holding out his pinky and making Billy smile as he linked it with his own.

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath, "It was Kimberly. My mom said she always liked that name, but she always shortened it and called me Kimmy, which I hated. But my middle name was Janice, which is even worse, so I had to live with Kimmy until I was twelve and my dad let me change it."

"Thank God he did. No offense to your mom, but she cannot pick a name to save her life," Steve said, making Billy snort. "Billy suits you much better."

"Thanks, Pretty Boy. That really means a lot to me," Billy said, giving a shy smile before it morphed into a nervous bite of his lip. "Just you in general mean a lot to me. I care about you a lot, and I don't always know how to show it. And I know that I need to work on that, so I'm trying to, but the way I feel about you, it's like I'm a kid again and I don't know how to put it into words. But you're everything, really. You're funny and smart and hot as Hell and the best thing that's ever happened to me in my whole life and I... I just don't even know how to explain it... but I'm trying and..."

"Hey," Steve said softly, leaning up on his arm and looking Billy straight in the eye, "I get it. And I love you, too."

"Y-you do?" Billy asked, and the smile that he gave was so bright and beautiful, Steve almost felt bad for kissing it away.

"Yeah, I do," he mumbled as they parted, "Every trait, every emotion, every complexity. I love every part of you."

Billy usually wasn't as talkative as he had been tonight, but now, it seemed like the well of his words had run dry as he tried to come up with a response to what Steve had just said. Even if he had the words, he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to string them together coherently enough to convey even half of what he wanted Steve to understand. So he didn't use words.

He sat up reached down to untwist the covers, he fluffed the pillows a little, and then he reached for Steve, gently turning him onto his side before settling down behind him. He pulled Steve to his chest and tangled their legs under the blanket, one of his arms pinned beneath Steve and holding him with a hand over his heart and the other playing with his hair and scratching at his scalp in just the way Billy knew he liked it. He wanted to tell Steve that he loved him with his whole heart, that he trusted him and that he'd never known he was even capable of feeling this strongly about anyone or anything until he'd met him, but the words wouldn't come.

As Steve took the hand that Billy had rested on his chest and intertwined their fingers, though, he knew he got the message.

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #stranger things #harringrove #ftm Billy Hargrove #trans billy hargrove #fanfic

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bunitivity · 4 months

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I really REALLY need to tell you my hc that Luffy and Usopp sleep in the same bed 98.37% of the time. They are EXTREMELY hard to seperate.

When Usopp first joins the strawhats along with Merry, the boys have to make do with what they have. And that includes taking turns sleeping in the hammocks. Now I'm going to reference that pic where Luffy is hanging down on Usopp's body from his hammock. Also the one where Zoro and Sanji sleep on the floor face to face. That one. One time Luffy actually falls into Usopp's hammock but neither of them realize it and in the morning the sniper might have hit his head when falling on the floor from the sudden surprise. But then it became a usual thing and both of them were becoming closer friends so eventually Usopp just proposed them sleeping together since they're gonna end up like that in the end. Of course the more they travelled, they got bunks for comfort, because sleeping on the floor/couch got annoying.

Then Water 7 happens and Usopp is devastated. He really wants to go back to them snuggling but he feels like if he offers it right after what happened to them it would feel like he didn't feel sorry at all, which is not true. And besides, Sunny has all the comfort you could ever want, so no more "well, if you're gonna slip into my bunk anyways, why not just share it from the start" excuse.

However, Luffy's thought process is a little different. He gets a little confused as to why Usopp still hasn't invited him over. Well, the sniper apologized, they had an emotional reunion, spent the rest of the day together and now they won't even snuggle like they did before? Something's gotta be up.

So as soon as Luffy makes his decision, he "slips" into Usopp's bunk and hugged the shit out of the sniper, making sure he wasn't going anywhere. Usopp let him stay. He wanted to anyways.

So since then, their habit of sharing one bed and cuddling was fully established. Oh boy, I sure hope they don't get seperated again only for a longer period of time.

No listen you literally read my mind! I’ve literally been thinking about this idea nonstop I’ve it written in my draft somewhere. Still think about that moment post dressrosa where usopp just goes to sleep right on top of luffy and no one bats an eye lol(really tried to find a pic of it but it isn’t in my tag ://) it was just business as usual for everyone but there’s no way that’s the first time that’s happened. They definitely sleep together all the time. It’s just second nature to them to just curl around each other and fall asleep.

And oh w7 ;-; the most devastating arc my beloved <3 neither of them sleeps during their separation(i dont actually have long they were apart but I’m pretty sure it was just one night considering how fast paced one piece is but it was a very looong night either way with Usopp staying up working on the merry while luffy just tossing and turning until he just ends up staring out over that rooftop where nami finds him the following morning telling her he was looking out for robin but really he was just looking out the sea to where the merry was docked🥲)

and ofc luffy would be the one to push past the awkwardness because once usopp apologized that was it he had already forgiving him the moment he saw usopp on that bridge screaming at him to keep fighting(still think about how ready luffy was to bring him to the crew immediately post ennies lobby until zoro knocked some sense into him lol) there was no way he was going another sleepless night without him

#sorry for rambling it’s just #I’ve so many thoughts about lusopp and w7 best arc lol #love interpersonal conflict wish there was more that wasn’t just zoro and sanjis pissing contest #lusopp #asks #thank you for sending this!#love talking to ppl but I also get so anxious about dm ppl bc I can’t hold a conversation to save my life lol #hcs asks

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the-bloody-sadist · 5 months

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What’s an unpopular ship that you actually really like?

I don’t think these are SUPER unpopular as ships, but because they’re from lesser-known anime (that don’t have very active fandoms at least), here are a few!

Daisuke Kanbe and Haru Kato from The Millionaire Detective: Balance Unlimited (top Kato, because Daisuke is my favorite and that means he’s going to bottom LOL)—this anime is one of my favorites and I rewatch it a lot, especially that one episode where Daisuke is just a little baby boy who gets drunk and doesn’t know how to be poor.

Also the show ships them too here’s proof:

John Watson and Friday from The Empire of Corpses—absolutely devastating (and gorgeous) movie with an after credit that ruins everything, but gods will I watch it over and over for these two. There’s just something so erotic about a man bringing his best friend’s corpse back to life as a Frankenstein-esque monster and trying to make him human again. I’ve made a post about this one before when I’d first watched it (lmao I was traumatized), but I have a big weak spot for non-verbal characters, so Friday is my favorite. I wish there was an active fandom for this so I could see ship works for them! Also, one of my favorite animation styles of all time. Everyone looks so pretty.

Fushi and The Beholder from To Your Eternity—ehehehheheheheheh this one is a popular anime but not a popular shipper fandom. LET ME DREAM, THOUGH. I drew one work for it once, I’m qualified. (Also the non-verbal character strikes again [yes I was mad when he learned to speak like a normal person eventually])

Kaname Kuran and Zero Kiryu—NOT TALKING ABOUT THEM. DO NOT MAKE FUN OF ME‼️🫵

Gareki and Yogi from Karneval—I could ship Yogi with several men in this anime but that’s just because of Miyano Mamoru magic I’m sure…anyway if you haven’t seen this one ITS VERY GOOD. Idk if it got cancelled officially or what but I hope a second season comes anyway. Still worth it, regardless!

THATS IT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD, CLEARLY I CAN NEVER GIVE JUST ONE EXAMPLE…HOPEFULLY YOULL FIND SOME NEW WATCHES FROM THIS LITTLE LIST!

#sadist’s answered asks #ships #anime BL ships

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secretly-of-course · 1 year

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So I have an idea for a TOH soulmate AU premise but no idea for a plot. I was telling @theres-got-to-be-more about it a bit ago and I decided I'm just gonna post my ideas for it anyway. If anyone takes inspiration from this you have my blessing to do whatever you want with it, just tag me so I can see it!

✨ and if you are picky about soulmate aus like me, rest assured this one is aro and poly friendly! ✨

So the idea is that a side effect of sigil magic is getting a sigil causes your soulmate to get a (non-functioning) matching sigil on their opposite arm. For example, Gilbert Park would have a non-functioning abomination sigil in addition to his own functioning construction sigil since Harvey is in the abomination coven, and vice versa.

Some people have multiple soulmates, while some have none at all. A person like Lilith who has no soulmate would also be indistinguishable from a person like Raine whose soulmate is a wild witch. The nature of these soul sigils means there's a good chance someone who you match sigils with could be your soulmate, but it's not perfect so there's still a chance you may match by coincidence.

Anyway.

5 year old Willow excitedly showing her dads her new Emperor's Coven soul sigil that just appeared on her wrist, only for then to freak out because what the heck how old is their daughter's soulmate!? SHE'S ONLY A CHILD!

But Willow's excitement quickly turns to sadness when she realizes she'll never get to be with her soulmate. Heck, she might not even get to meet them. Emperor's Coven members aren't allowed to have relationships, and especially are not allowed to bond with their soulmates. They won't even let anyone join who has already met their soulmate. And it'll be years before Willow joins a coven herself and her soulmate even learns she exists. She shares her woes with Amity while they are still friends, who sympathizes. Later on though, Boscha finds out about Willow's soul sigil and it becomes yet another reason to bully her over--because OF COURSE Willow's soulmate is someone she has no chance with! Who would ever want to be stuck with Half-A-Witch Willow, right? And for a long time, Willow believes her. That she's just fundamentally unworthy of that kind of love. Sure there's a chance she could have multiple soulmates who haven't joined covens yet either, but would they really love Half-A-Witch either?

Then ASIAS happens and boy. Things start making sense now.

Teenaged Katya being soooooo excited for her soul sigil to appear. She loves Love! She can't wait to find out what coven her soulmate will be in! But when one day she finally feels her arm tingle and excitedly peels back her sleeve to look at it, she is devastated to see the Emperor's Coven mark. She already hates the EC! And now you're telling her her freaking soulmate is one of them!? And on top of all that the knowledge that she'll never get to be with them is heartbreaking. She hopes she has another soulmate somewhere out there, but somehow knows she won't be that lucky.

Meanwhile when Steve joined the coven with no soul mark, he hoped to the Titan it would stay that way. He couldn't bear it knowing someone out there was waiting to meet him and they never would. It would be much easier if he just didn't have a soulmate at all, like Lilith. Two years after joining the EC a bard soul mark appears on his wrist and his heart sinks. He did have a soulmate after all, and they'd known about him for two years now. He feels guilty about causing this person pain even though he has no idea who they are.

Then OTWAT happens and the CATs get some new recruits a couple days before the Day of Unity and one of them happens to be an ex-EC scout and maybe things aren't so hopeless after all...

Twenty-something year old Eda days after having broken up with Raine wakes up to a bard coven soul sigil on her wrist. She covers it with long sleeves or bracelets, not wanting to be reminded. She's not going to tell Raine, or anyone else for that matter. She's not planning to join a coven anyway, so they'll never know.

Raine goes most of their life without a soul mark. Most people would just assume they don't have a soulmate, but they can't help but wonder if they do. After all, wild witches don't leave marks on their soulmates...

Then COTH happens and Eda is branded with the bard coven sigil. Raine gasps as a soul mark appears on their wrist too. Sure, they'd had a suspicion, but this confirms it now. Eda is their soulmate, and she always has been. And then they're met with the sinking feeling that Eda has known they were soulmates this entire time and kept it to herself for years. Ouch.

Lumity and Gustholomule never join covens since the abolishment of Belos's system, so they never know for sure if they are soulmates, but it's kind of better this way. Not knowing for sure of you are meant to be together, but choosing to be together anyway. Now that's love.

#toh #the owl house #huntlow #stevatya #raeda #soulmate au #lumity #gustholomule #sorry the last 2 are very minimal #my aus

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ieatsmallorphansnamedtom · 1 year

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Bachelor/ettes When They Aren't Asked to the Flower Dance

Number 4 of the prompts I was given by a very kind someone. Other/s can be found in my new masterlist (pinned post).

Bachelors:

Sam

He'd been working up the courage to ask you to dance all month. He was sure you would accept his invitation (or at least that's what he told himself). Despite having two left feet, he did his best to practice the dance with the help of Jodi. Finally, after weeks' worth of practicing, he was ready.

That said, he was still extremely nervous. The Flower Dance has never really been his thing, with his (as I said) two left feet and allergies. But still, he tried to put on a happy smile when seeing you come his way. Little did he know, he was in for a sad surprise.

"Sam," you said, running over to him, "[bachelor/ette] asked me to dance!"

"Oh, that's great! You two have fun."

Oh, that poor boy. All that hope and training for nothing. He was devastated, as anyone would be. He ended up messing up the entire dance with his partner because he was looking at you and [bachelor/ette] the whole time.

Elliott

Elliott was sure he'd get your hand in the dance. He'd wowed the townies since his first ever Flower Dance there. He was just too good at all that old-timey stuff. And with this knowledge, he just knew he'd get to be your partner. He was just waiting to write the experience down in his diary.

And eventually the dance came. Elliott had made sure his suit was in perfect condition with the help of Emily. He got there extra early to A), help with the setting up, and B), make sure he got to you first. Little did he know, that would be his downfall. While he was waiting patiently in the field, you were being asked to dance by someone else.

"Wow, Elliott, you're early," you said.

"Yes," he replied, "now I was wondering if you'd-" [bachelor/ette] joined you side, taking your arm in theirs.

"You were wondering if you could ask me...?"

"Never mind. Enjoy the dance."

He's pretty upset afterwards. I mean, who wouldn't be? He put in all that effort to get up early and spill some of the punch on his suit setting things up only to find out it was for nothing. He vents to Leah and gets drunk on that same punch (now spiked by Pam).

Sebastian

Sebastian was super nervous asking you to dance. He had practiced his lines over and over and over in the mirror, just hoping everything would go right. He had every possible route of conversation planned out in his mind and was memorising every line possible. Robin caught on pretty quick and found it cute.

He was one of the last people to arrive at the Flower Dance. Partly because he was having trouble saving his work and refused to leave before being sure it was absolutely 100% saved, but also because he was doing everything in his power to delay a bad outcome. Walking up to you was terrifying. He could feel his heartbeat lodged in his throat.

"Hey, Y/N," he said, leaning against the wooden fence keeping out all the weeds and shrubbery. "You got a dance partner yet?"

"Yeah, [bachelor/ette] asked me as soon as I got here. What about you?"

"Nah, not yet. Well, um, glad to see you got a partner."

Well, this is all his fault now, isn't it? If he had just gotten here sooner this wouldn't have happened. No, that's stupid. He wouldn't have been able to ask anyway. Yoba, what was wrong with him?

Harvey

Harvey's nervousness is on par with (if not exceeding) Sebastian's. He's a blushing mess whenever he thinks of dancing with you. He just can't help it! He's actually a pretty good dancer, especially with the older dances, so he doesn't really need to practice for it. He just has to focus on his lines.

Once he's actually at the dance, somehow, that anxiety gets even worse. Just seeing you in that outfit has him on his knees. He's all awkward walking up to you, and it's pretty obvious to most people what he's about to ask. He's so nervous he doesn't even see you eyeing another townie.

"Hey Y/N. How are you?" he says, not even trying to look you in the eye.

"Oh, hey Harvey!" you reply, "I'm good. You got a dance partner yet?"

"No, not yet. Have you?"

"No, but I'm hoping to get with [bachelor/ette]. What about you?"

"Oh, that's nice. Um, I don't know."

His heart is broken. Absolutely shattered. All that nervousness for nothing. He tries not to look at you for the rest of the day. It just makes him too sad.

Shane

Shane was not looking forward to the dance. Under no means did he intend to have fun there. If anything, he was only doing it for Jas and you. But even you were on thin ice. Still, Jas was begging him to go. And so, he needed a date. Why not ask you?

Well, you see, the funny thing is he doesn't know how to do that. He's exactly like that scene of Shrek in the first movie where he's practicing his confession to Fiona. He's trying to work everything out as he goes along.

During the festival, he's a little grumpier than usual. But that's just because he's nervous. Walking up to you with a few flowers hiding behind his back.

"Hey Y/N," he says, "quite the festival, huh?"

You laugh and reply, "yeah, it is something! You got a date?"

"Uh, no. No, I don't. You?"

"Oh, I got asked by [bachelor/ette]. Good luck to you, though!" you say as you walk off.

Well, that went just swimmingly now, didn't it? He bought those flowers for nothing. Well, unless you count being able to give Jas a fairy rose. But it still cost money!

Alex

Alex, Alex, what do I think about Alex? Well, he's absolutely freaking out inside, but he's not letting it show. He's spent years putting up a front, and he's not letting it crack because of some stupid dance. Most of his evenings after dinner are spent practicing his words in front of a mirror. Evelyn ends up catching him one night and the two have a bit of a training session together.

Anyways, the dance itself. Wow, what a day. For a start, you look absolutely gorgeous and it's driving him insane. Who knew that confident persona could crack so easily? Either way, he's still going to ask you to dance. He walks up to you with the biggest, most 'look at me I'm good at dancing please ask me to be your partner' smile possible when all of a sudden, the news hits him like a brick.

"Alex! You won't believe this: [bachelor/ette] asked me to dance!"

"Oh, that's great! I'll probably go with [Alex's partner]."

Poor boy. Still, he's not going to give up now. He asks you to practice dancing with him, and if that doesn't work, then he'll just sit out of the dance so he can put all his attention on you.

Bachelorettes:

Penny

Penny doesn't even want to begin practicing her lines. The levels of absolute mortification she would feel if someone caught her would have her crying. Even just repeating the lines in her head she feels there's someone watching her. Due to this, she's completely unprepared.

So yeah, the conversation is awkward. She's pushing herself to her very limit just trying to grasp the concept of asking you to dance. But it all comes crashing down when you tell her the truth of what's really going on.

"Penny, I have to ask you something," you say.

"Oh- yes?" she replies.

"Do you think [bachelor/ette] would want to be my partner?"

"Oh... Of course, they would. Of course."

She's really sad. She probably sits out of the dance for that one. Still, she's happy to see that you're happy. And it's not like she'll lose anything if she sits out.

Leah

Leah's pretty excited to ask you to dance! Elliott had been helping her practice her moves every day in the week leading up to the dance, and she had gotten pretty good at it by the time rolled around. Contrary to popular belief, not all introverts are shy, and that is especially true for Leah! She has no major concerns when it comes to asking you. Except for being turned down, of course.

The day finally comes, and she looks pretty good! She spent the morning finding the perfect flowers to put in her hair to make sure she looks her best. She really wants to impress not only you, but herself, too! She walks up to you confidently with a smile on her face only to hear the news.

"Hey, Y/N!" she says, running over to you. "You got a partner yet?"

"Oh, yeah! I got to go with [bachelor/ette]. I'm really happy about it." you reply.

"Oh, that's great!"

Well, what can she do now? There's no point sulking about it. Might as well pick herself up and move along. Elliott wouldn't want her to waste all that practice.

Abigail

Abigail's been pretty confident in asking you to dance. She doesn't need to practice her lines, and only requires a little bit of practice for her dance moves (she really needs more, but she can't be bothered). She hangs out with you a lot more in the weeks leading up to the dance to try and coax you into thinking about her.

The day of the dance comes and things are looking good. Abigail walks you to the dance to make sure nobody asks you to dance before she does. Little does she you've already been asked.

"Oh, Abby, I forgot to tell you," you say, "[bachelor/ette] asked me to the dance!"

"Oh, that's great!" she replies. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I'll race you to the dance. See ya!"

She just wanted an excuse to get away for the moment. But it was still funny hearing you yell and try to catch up with her.

Maru

Maru's pretty nervous to ask you to dance. Most people would be, after all. She plans to buy you flowers at the dance and ask you, but things don't go that way. She spends most of her time practicing her lines either out loud or in her head.

In fact, she's still practicing her lines at the dance. And you catch her in the act. She's right about to say your name when you overhear and walk up to her with a smile on your face.

"So, who's the special person?" you ask.

"Oh! Uh..."

"Just kidding. You know, I think you would go well with [Maru's partner]."

"Really?" she replies, "who told you?"

"[bachelor/ette], my partner."

Oh... So, she was too late. That's no good. Of course, she's still going to dance. Maru loves getting involved with the community and she's not going to let your 'rejection' get in the way. You two dance side by side, and in the end, she really isn't all that upset. There's always next year.

Emily

Emily had been looking forward to asking you to dance for a while now. She'd always thought of you as a wonderful person, and what better way to show that than to ask for your hand in a dance? She's quite the dancer herself, though she doesn't mind if that's not your forte. Still, she wanted to shoot her shot.

The day of the flower dance came, and Emily was, quite honestly, really looking forward to it. She and Haley had practiced the dance together for a good while and she was confident she had mastered it. Walking up to you, she gifted you a sweet pea and was about to pop the question when you told her the news.

"Oh, Emily," she said, looking down at the flower in her hands, "I'm sorry, I can't accept this."

"Why not? It's a gift," she replied.

"Oh! I thought you were asking me to dance. Sorry, of course I'll take this!"

Emily only laughed and said, "well, you enjoy yourself then. I'll go and find a partner."

So, that didn't go as planned. Yes, she was upset, but she also wasn't going to let it get in the way of her plans. Emily respected that you had just as important of a say in the matter as she did, and wasn't going to push your boundaries like that.

Haley

Haley had been obsessed with practicing the dance for you. Despite being the Flower Queen for many years in a row, she still felt the need to be just certain of her ability to dance. Her plan was to woo you over while practicing at the festival, but we all know it didn't quite go according to plan.

The festival day came, and her plan was in action. She had already perfected her moves, but that just meant her wooing ability was even greater. She was dancing in front of Alex, watching you get closer out of the corner of your eye when you talked to her.

"Hey, Haley." you waved her attention over to yourself.

"Huh? Oh, hey Y/N," she said, faking her surprise at your decision to talk to her, "did you like my dancing?"

"Yeah, actually, I was just looking at it. I was gonna say, I think you'd be a great match for [Haley's partner]."

"Oh, I don't know." she rubbed the back of her neck. "[Haley's partner] isn't really my type. Who are you going with?"

"[bachelor/ette]."

"Neat. Well, I'm gonna get back to practicing. See you."

Well, that was fucking useless. Now what? She doesn't want to go with [Haley's partner], but who else is there to choose? I suppose there's no point letting that practice go to waste. She can't try to woo you over like that and then to nothing about her skill. That would be a waste.

-~-~-

Hnghghgmnfn this took so long to get out I don't know why. I like the prompt a lot I guess my brain has just got low battery or something. Anyways, yeah, so activity might be a bit sporadic if you haven't already noticed. I've got five WIPs going on all at once (A+ organisation I know) which I'm constantly switching between, so this blog isn't really my focus right now. Hopefully I'll have the energy and brain power to get back into it soon!

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subskz · 1 year

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Rin.... Rin, I crave violence

I saw these and your girl got the most heinous thoughts bouncing around in the head.

Cabin, Snow, There's Only One Bed, Accidental Confession, & Sex. Are you following?

I hope so.

~~~

Picture it: You, Channie, and Co. have decided to stay at a cabin in the woods for a couple of days in winter (see Channie's outfit up above) and as everyone else goes off to have fun in the snow, (I've grown to dislike the snow after having multiple snow days back to back bc I don't get snow often; Ms. Pink was nawt having it) you two decide to hang back

So you two kinda just shrug it off and try to stay preoccupied while by yourselves

And maybe that involves a game or two here and there, music stuff, cooking and things don't get heated until you two make a bet that you, just so happen to, win.

That bet? The other has to do whatever the other says until the others get back.

And you can't help but notice how eager he is to follow your directions and orders; or how he starts to act cuter around you and pouty when feeling a skosh playful.

So maybe you ask for a kiss to gauge his reaction; ofc Channie is malfunctioning so you're all like "jk jk im totally not-" then BOOM! A big ole smooch is what you get.

And then, he's like "omg oh god im so sorry" then you kiss him and he can't help but moan at it (perv Channie?... oh that's something i will be back abt, mark that down)

N e ways, let's talk abt sex now

Chan and his babyboy-isms seem to just increase tenfold; pouty, whiney, all flushed, wanting physical contact, oral fixation all on 10.

And, him being a service top, he is so hellbent on pleasing you. But he's also been dealing with this huge crush on you, so when he finally enters you, he swears he's entering the 5th dimension.

But also instantly blurts out that he has feelings for you... whoops. Can't help it, unfortunately; another victim of being brain mush as soon as he gets off :(

Give him a kiss on his lips and nose and tell him how you feel and help guide him; poor pup is just too into his subspace to even form coherent sentences anymore and probably too preoccupied with sucking on your fingers or chest 🤷‍♀️

Now, afterglow and post-orgasm clarity is such a real thing (it's happened once to me but i had the munchies like fucking crazy so it didn't last lmao) so Channie is embarrassed when he realized that he involuntarily confessed like that.

~~~

Sorry for the word vomit; currently half past 11pm and I've been sipping on black tea all-day so... :) 3rd eye is just working over time.

Also, I called a specific Hyunjin look back in 2021, so Pink is just Clairvoyant when it comes to Hyunjin specifically (it's bc we're both Pisces)

the fact that these pics led to this stroke of genius from you…put channie in a sweater n suspenders more often bc i’m actually gonna lose my mind over how much i love this 😵‍💫 him pining after you…simultaneously so shy but so eager…the desperate need to please you…the way he goes dumb the moment he’s inside you…blurting out his confession…it has all the elements of a perfect channie concept

HAHA yes let’s settle for the romantic atmosphere inside the cabin away from the snow…maybe even w a warm fire crackling to really set the mood ♡ channie being his sweet good-natured lil self and listening to everything you say without question…the thought of him getting playful at some point and pretending to disobey you w a cheeky dimpled grin…pure devastation. he’d look so adorably proud of himself it’s almost enough to let it slide, but you don’t even get the chance before he takes it back w a giggle and follows your order anyway 🥰

his heart-shaped lips look extra red and kissable bc of the cold who could resist <3 and god the way he’d just lean completely into that sweet, unbashedly needy side of himself once he sees how much you like it…the epitome of baby boy w the way he clings to you and nuzzles into your chest and starts to whine if he can’t feel your touch for even a moment. and nothing on earth makes me crazier than the idea of channie’s mind going blank the moment he feels you around him…suddenly he’s lost and clueless and needs you to direct him to do every little thing so he can satisfy you properly ❤️‍🔥 he may not be able to think for himself but he still carries out all your orders like a good boy! and ofc when his emotions are running so high and his head is so scrambled from the pleasure, he can’t help but babble on abt how much he loves you in a way that’ll have him absolutely mortified when that giddy haze finally wears off~

no need to apologize as u can see this resonated w me very much hehe ^_^ you and hyune really have some kind of piscean psychic link that no one else can comprehend i’ll look forward to what you predict next 😼

#‘anyways let’s talk abt sex now’ took me OUT 😭#this couldnt have come at a better time too bc the sleepy voice msgs channie has been sending on bbl…#speaking so cutely and giggling and making lil noises and getting shy and talking in third person…he’s such a baby #esp how he said ‘if u have nothing else to do please put channie to sleep’ ㅠㅠ #ask #pink #long post #💌 channie

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hummingbird-games · 5 months

Text

Postmortem: #CrushedVN Edition

Okie doke y'all! It's been some time so I guess we're good to dissect this project!

(I almost didn't bother with writing this up, but at the end of the day I do the dev diaries and the random--game development related--posts for me to look back on and prove I'm learning. Getting better. Not regressing. So. Might as well move forward!)

Background/Inspiration

It's like if you took my late 2022 brain and threw it into a blender!! Most of these are self-explanatory (Boys Love media I adore with emphasis on early to late teen experiences.) Let me draw your attention to The Edge Of Seventeen: not sure how many times I've rewatched, but it makes me tear up every single time. Main character Nadine is awkward AF, still hasn't come to terms with the death of her father years prior, isn't on the best terms with her mom or her older brother, and even ends up on rocky terms with her best friend too!! Anyway, that feeling of being young, and a little angry and a little sad and not feeling quite right on the inside but eventually reaching a place where things fiiiiiinally start to work out...it's just a sliver of what I wanted to capture and infuse into Crushed.

Listen y'all, I just pulled and pulled and pulled from real life experiences. I was inspired by authors Julian Winters, Leah Johnson, and Jay Coles' works (all Young Adult authors LOL! Fitting since I seem to be creating things for the teens at this juncture in my life). This all provided the base for Corey and his inner world. Also, I've been wanting to create a bookworm character...no time like the present right???

As for deciding to specifically create a boys' love visual novel of all things?? First, y'all must understand that I fought the original idea and anything related to it. This was coming off the heels of me suddenly seeing (another) wave of players throwing fits about indie games forcing you to play as a femme character. First off, no one is forcing you to do anything. Secondly, we are still at a point in video games where the majority of characters you play as are male. Forgive some of us for wanting a little variety 😑Thirdly, for those looking for games where there's even more inclusivity (choosing pronouns, playing as nonbinary/trans, and etc) I really wish that players would seek out those games that ARE being made and support them so the developers don't lose steam and drop their projects. It's so disheartening to make something that's meant to be consumed and BOOM, silence.

Anyway, all of that to say that as a developer herself who's tired of watching girls' media be regulated as Less Than, made fun of, and just overall disrespected, I wasn't interested in making any games that didn't center a female character. But back to my main point!!!

I had Heartstopper, the webtoon, infecting my brain. I was so not immune to falling in love with Nick and Charlie like everybody else. But then I was hit for the 34573847th time that I was engaging with white queer media. And I knew that if Nick and Charlie were Black Brits, they wouldn't be getting half the attention they are now. Even less if the boys were girls and we had a sapphic relationship on our hands. (But that sapphic story from Hummingbird Games is still brewing, and Corey and Jacob's story was ready first.)

Also....the biphobia is real. It's insidious. I could write a whole book about how the straights and the gays need to get their shit together. I could then write a sequel about how the Black community can be some of the worst offenders when it comes to our Bi Fam and say some of the most ignorant and devastating things. But I had limited time on my hands and decided to write a short VN instead. Once I let Corey just be, exist as the person he is, everything fell into place.

Things That Went Right...

I took a very niche, very Specific To Me, very nestled in the space between my heart and my brain and wrote a script just so I could be a part of a game jam specifically highlighting and supporting the work of Black game developers.

And I submitted the bitch on time.

I'm always down for anxiety rep!!! As a fellow anxiety haver, I say the more visibility the better!!! At the same time, it's not a one size fits all, and there were some things I dealt with that I'd never seen depicted and I figured I might as well be true to my experiences. Maybe someone would take solace in Corey the way I've taken solace in other characters for reflecting my lived experiences.

I tried new things I was scared of or didn't have time for with HSD or didn't feel confident enough to sit and learn previously: partial voice acting (and holding auditions to incorporate more), a text message system (which wasn't my own but part of learning to code for me means being able to take what others have done and replicate and/or use it myself), and implementing music and sound effects with intention. I've done it with film, but games are a close cousin in a lot of ways. A LOT of ways. I should remember that.

I still didn't do too well in the marketing department but for this game, it didn't feel like a failure. I also didn't really try. Oops. I've got to do better. I went into Crushed knowing it wouldn't have half the audience HSD does, and yet the feedback I've received for Crushed has made me want to break down into tears of relief.

I launched the game around 10 something at night my time and proceeded to be sick with anxiety for about 3 days. For three whole days I legit felt like I was going to die. And then I wanted to laugh because didn't I just make a game to express a version of the human condition?

Things That Were Different...

HSD showed off my skills when it comes to intensive planning and sticking mostly to that plan. Crushed was a jam entry that became more extensive over time and found me flying off the seat of my pants.

I also had less (aha, zero???) budget this time around. Because again. Jam entry. It wasn't supposed to be a Big Affair. But now that it's over and out to you guys, I'm not mad. You could say that it all worked out.

If I Could Go Back, I Would...

For one, I would have smacked the voice in my head that said "let's add more voice acting now". I love the feature, but there's no reason why I couldn't have done auditions after release. I was impatient and restless waiting for art assets, and my idleness led me to take on more things just to not feel useless. I Have Learned My Lesson, thanks.

I Had The Pleasure of Learning...

There will always be an obstacle in the way of game development. (And sometimes your body will be your own worst enemy, yuck.)

I don't know who my audience is (yet) for HBG but I'm always a part of it. And that's not a bad thing. If I hadn't felt so strongly about Crushed or even HSD, neither project would have happened because I would have given up a long time ago.

To the Future...

Empasis on future, but the world of Crushed isn't exhausted. It lives in the bigger universe of HSD:JY but took on a life of its own. So it's no surprise that Corey and his friends became even more precious to me. Not that I know when I'll be able to work on it, but right after finishing and publishing the demo, I outlined a rough draft for a kinetic novel sequel told through Jacob's POV. In my head, Corey's story was always half of a whole, and busting out Jacob's outline so quickly confirmed that.

(What I didn't anticipate was how loved Oke and Keegan would be, or that there would be a want for their story outside of myself??? Between us and this postmortem, I hope to sort out their deal and get the satisfaction of seeing another type of love story/dynamic I can't get enough of and share it!)

Closing Thoughts

The comments I've gotten concerning Crushed and noting the appreciation for its slice-of-life/grounded-ness is reassuring! Maybe I'll branch out to other genres, but realism will be something I always come back to. Also, making Crushed wasn't too traumatic soooooo that means I'm still making games LOL! Can't get rid of me yet!

- Gemini 💛

(some links of other posts where I went on tangents concerning the creation of Crushed; these can also be found by searching the tag "crushed vn"!)

Music Inspo and Crushed

Memes Tag Game

Game Dev Commentary: Bonus Content

#game development #crushed vn #postmortem

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