#AND THE WH ONE ACTUALLY HAS A LOT OF SCENES ALREADY WRITTEN OUT AND MANY NOTES DONE SO THAT SHOULDNT TAKE ME TOO LONG TO COMPLETE WHEN I GET
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#ftm is a fetish tag
disclaimer, i am a trans man
#ftm is a fetish tag. i dont know if its always been like this but it is a problem.
i can hardly find any transmascs in that tag.
there are cis women misgendering trans men as a kink, and talking about our bodies like sex dolls everywhere in that tag. its mostly cishet women using OUR tag to objectify our bodies because they are too afraid to consider that they might not be straight. it is at least half detransition kink. im very uncomfortable with cis people doing this, but if they want to i wont stop them.
but this is in OUR TAG. this is horrible. they write disgusting smut about women who are short twinks with soft tits and dripping cunts and no dysphoria at all.
they just call them trans men.
ive seen other transmascs complain about this too.
these fics are written by and for cis women. they are chasers. the way they talk about our bodies is revolting. they know nothing about trans men at all.
i know that not all trans men feel dysphoric about their bodies, but these women are still treating us like a fetish that only occurs in fiction, rather than people who have emotions and often want to have a flat chest and/or a penis.
in particular they fetishize gay trans men. all these fics are about femboys who are horrified by the concept of transitioning getting fucked by bears. the people writing this view transitioning as mutilation. its very obvious.
ive noticed that this occasionally extends to fetishizing cis men with gynecomastia. its clear they want to fuck women but think lesbians are disgusting, so they call the women in their fics men, but misgender them throughout the text.
i hardly see any representation for trans men who even want to transition. newsflash: a lot of us do want to transition. many of us have already had surgery.
if you genuinely do want to write smut with GOOD portrayal of trans men, heres some tips on what we want in our representation:
trans men who dont want to transition deserve rep too, but many of us are entirely uncomfortable with our bodies. very few of us want any attention given to the parts we are born with. a lot of pre op trans men wear a binder during sex. we're not all bottoms, and some of us wear strap ons.
when we're on testosterone, it causes vaginal atrophy, similar to menopause. it gets very dry down there and easily irritated. this means that vaginal sex can be very painful and could even damage tissues. even without T, vaginal penetration is usually no where near as fun as it is for cis women. anything being in there is awful and sometimes painful.
anal sex is a thing. its not gross. its perfectly normal. it just requires some lubricant, and for a trans man, is a lot more comfortable than vaginal sex.
shockingly, most of us do not want to be called girls.
dont misgender a trans person in a sex scene. at all. some of us like to be called good boys during sex. stop calling us girls.
some of us have had surgery. it is NOT mutilation. it is life saving. top surgery is one that we get most frequently. the results do look just like a cis mans chest. there are long thin scars under the pecs, but these fade after a few years. they may not even be visible. bottom surgery exists too.
metoidioplasty creates a micropenis out of the clitoris. it does look real. it looks like a regular micropenis. it has full sensation.
phalloplasty uses a flap of skin, usually from the forearm, and turns it into a penis. this surgery is more complex and is done in multiple stages. after it is complete, it looks like a circumcised penis. its size is dependent on the flap of skin used to make it, so it can actually be larger than average. (on r/phallo someone even got a reduction surgery because his dick was 7 inches long). the area the skin flap was taken from has pretty big scarring. it looks like the result of a severe burn. it is sometimes covered by a tatoo. there is a lot of misinformation about phalloplasty. it is a big surgery, but it is no where near as dangerous as the internet would have you believe. after it has fully healed it does look real, and a genital nerve is usually hooked up to the penis. it can take a while to heal (years), but after a few months sensation begins to return as the nerves heal. the clitoris is often buried in the base of the penis, and if a genital nerve hook up is done the penis can have full sensation, including the tip. not everyone gets full sensation, and it can take years for sensation to fully return, but 93% of men who get phalloplasty are satisfied with the results. that is a lot. it is quite rare that sensation is fully lost, so yes, you can orgasm after phalloplasty. one thing to note is that a phalloplasty penis cant get hard on its own. there are two types of implant for erections. one is a rod inside the penis, which can last over 20 years before needing a replacement. the rod is flexible, so can be positioned as an erection. the other implant is a internal pump that is more complicated than the rod, and needs to be replaced roughly every 15 years. it is filled with water and sits inside the penis. to get an erection, you squeeze one of the testicles, which is a pump implant, pushing the water into the penis, causing an erection.
most importantly, we are men. we can be feminine. we can be masculine. we can look exactly like cis men. dont forget that we are people, we are real. we are not some sex fantasy.
#ftm#trans#transexual#transgender#surgery#top surgery#metoidioplasty#phalloplasty#fanfic#mlm#t4t#detrans#queer
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hello! you seem like the right person to ask this — i've found myself thinking 'i wish someone wrote [thing i really want to read]' a lot before realising i could just do it myself, which i think is a good first step, but the problem is i've never written fanfiction (or any kind of fiction, for that matter) before :( do you have any good writing tips / advice that has helped you since you started writing, and continue to do so? thank you so much! (p.s. i love your work 🫶)
as this is one of the main reasons why i write, and have found so much satisfaction in the process ever since i started, i hope i can share a few words to get you going!
bottom line - it really is just a means of starting, because i don't think you can ever get worse at writing. you might get tired, you might get uninspired or lazy or distracted but as long as your passion is there you can learn and improve. and you'll never know what you're capable of until you start!
if you're already jumping into writing with yourself in mind as your ideal reader, you're in the right place. writing for self indulgence is always correct but especially so when you're starting out, because even if it's objectively 'not good', making your favorite characters kiss like barbies or explore whatever emotional trauma you want to work through with them as a vessel, you'll be getting something out of the process no matter what. whether it be joy or release or simply to get your rocks off.
but there are many different ways to write. so i can't give you a comprehensive list of do's / don'ts - the following is just a few things i've learned work great for me through trial and error:
write something short and simple. if this is your very first piece of writing, keep it small. you can always expand on it later if it's something you like and feel ready for. one of my first works was a short trans pwp fic and i have no shame in that. you don't have to make a 100k masterpiece right out the gate (or ever!) so just keep it contained while you test the waters and get a feeling for the process. also, the sense of accomplishment when finishing a work is unparalleled. which can be a lot easier to do if it's something lowkey.
drafts. my brain is a scattered mosaic in a kitchen sink garbage disposal. i physically can't write things in linear form, and i can't write in chapters. it's all or nothing. so i've found it helps me the most to put all my ideas and concepts into an incomprehensible first draft, and make sense of it later. all my initial concepts get put down in here even if they're contradictory or bad or bare or in need of change. the intent is to get all your ideas out as they come and sort out / build on them / discard them later. it's about having a skeleton you can put meat on later! i refer to this as 'writing the bones' if i ever get caught up thinking it isn't good, because that's not what the first draft is for. the bones are the foundation of your writing, not the flavor!
find your flow. the key point in starting a writing projects is to write. writing and editing are 2 separate processes. so try not to edit while writing, just keep going. if you get stuck, move to the next scene or idea. skip to the ending if you have to. write notes within your work if you're unsure about something. use brackets to indicate [character walks home here] or [describe interior] or [research this later] when you can't think of the details at the time, and do it liberally. you will get better at this through practice.
have a 'deleted sections' document. when it's time to edit you might be hesitant to delete stuff even if you know it's not working, and even if it's just a sentence or two. my trick is to cut these scenes out and paste them into a 'garbo' document. i never actually go back and reuse these deleted chunks, but it helps get over the worry of what if. chances are if you're deleting a section, it's because you have a better idea in mind. so make room for it!
stay inspired. don't forget why you're writing. if you get stuck, try revisiting what made you start your project in the first place. whenever i feel completely out of ideas i like to revisit the source material or just have helpful bits of it on hand. for my recent patho fic i kept a bunch of voice line compilations open in my tabs to listen to the way certain characters talk, and sometimes i would load up the game / revisit canon conversations to get new ideas. for one of my spideypool fics i would relisten to the song that inspired it over and over again to remember the feeling i wanted to get across. make playlists! stare at pictures of your faves! remember why you love these characters!!
sorry if this is overwhelming or too much info. i've been doing this on and off for a few years now and i'm still learning ways to make the process more smooth and ideal for myself. but the more you write the more you learn not just about writing, but about yourself and the how, what, and why you want to write. this might just be a hobby for me but i'm passionate about it and i think it's something everyone should try if you have even the slightest interest in it.
also remember this is all stuff that's specifically true for me. you might love chaptered writing or nailing out a timeline before you even start or hate listening to music when your write and that's all perfectly okay! but there's only one way to find out! so go forth and learn what the little writing beast waiting inside of you has to say!!
#it might help you to know my first fic was an unfinished edgy kpop fic when i was 16.#but everything you make is something you can learn from#and i'm so excited for you to see what you can make :''')#long post#one last thing lol - once you get more serious about it it helps to revisit your favorite works or authors and really pick apart why#you like them. why certain scenes or storytelling structures or characters make your brain go brrrr#why did that scene give you chills or make you cry? how was it set up? is this something you can try to incorporate into your own stuff?#thats something i want to do more the next time i reread something
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ooo questions for fanfic writers!! answer however many you'd like! <3
2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?
4. What detail in take everything with you (but leave the sun behind) are you really proud of?
15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?
21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in Beneath the Skin, Through the Heart, what would it be?
42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?
thank you!! ♥
So many juicy questions omg. i have to drop by your inbox too later >:) (once i check to see what's already been asked XD)
Okay!! for #2, oh boy, let's see...
the number one tag is "One Piece Bingo" with thirteen works, but by my decree, that doesn't count. MOVING ON, we've got "smut" with ten works and, yeah, that kind of fits. especially with the demon that was Kid week—hot damn, did i do smut for that.
Next up is "Angst" with seven works, then "Established relationship" (6), "Alternate Universe—Modern Setting" (5), and finally, "Nightmares" (5). Honestly, the only one im surprised by there is "modern setting." i didn't think i wrote that many, though the rest of these sure fit imo. i do love my angst and smut XD
#4: What detail in take everything with you (but leave the sun behind) are you really proud of?
That's a tough one i do love this work a lot. hmm. I am gonna say im proud of the prose, though that's more of an overarching thing than a detail. Nonetheless, it's still a lil foray outside of my usual writing style and i enjoyed it <3
Now a detail so i can actually answer this question... im gonna say this bit towards the end:
"Her wings spread of their own accord, allowing her to feel the cold wind through her feathers once more. His first words to her came to mind.
Hello, little bird.
Would you like me to take you away from here?
Yes, she chanted, yes, yes, please, anywhere you want to go."
It's precious to me. I don't know why,, it's got a lil undercurrent of "wow you are so fucked" but also peacefulness and i was jumping out of my skin to write it down <3
#15: What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?
Oh my god this is so tough. It's stuck between two right now—one of them I've only written like, half a paragraph for (you know the one) so im gonna say it doesn't count yet.
Winner then has to be then my One Piece Demon Slayer AU. God, I wanna write more of this when i have the time, but right now, there's only one work out there in the realms: Pink is the Prettiest Color (if you check it out heed the tags!!). I just love both OP and KNY so much... and swords are so sexy... ANYWAY i've got like. a whole conspiracy for this au i believe ive cursed you with it in the past. SOMEDAY im gonna write more for it >:)
#21: If you wrote a “missing scene” in Beneath the Skin, Through the Heart, what would it be?
ahhhhhhh what a good question. I'm almost tempted to say "the wedding" but that's such a cliche answer let me think about it.
It's hard because that's one of my favorite works and I feel like it's pretty solid as is. Now, the question is—am i thinking of a scene i would like to have added, or a later addition/standalone that's connected but not required for the story? In the first case, I think a "experimenting with makeup" and such scene would have been cool. It's silly and small (and i have no fuckin clue how makeup works) I think it would have been a cool scene to further explore Rosi's newfound femininity.
now, in the latter case, first thought that comes to mind is the honeymoon. skip the wedding, vows, whatnot, and straight to the married bliss. im a sap like that (also, more smut >:) I do love my katacora smut). I'm not sure if I'll ever add more to this, but these are tempting thoughts!!
Last but not least, #42: Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?
ABSOLUTELY. I got one that is very nsfw so I will spare you that one—but another of my faves is a pair of comments on Pink is the Prettiest Color (1) (2). They were very sweet and flattering, of course, but I could also feel the love for the works and the love for both of the fandoms!! They melt me <3
Of course, all essay comments also hold a very dear place in my heart. they make me want to cry every time i see them—like, oh my god, someone enjoyed my work that much?? holy cow asdfsjfovhs
Thank you for the questions, my dear dear gen <3 these are so much fun to think about
(dang this post got long. Here's the questions if anyone wants to ask away/reblog for themselves!)
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is the next fic you post going to be Compromise or the White Hat fic?
COMPROMISE! THE WH FIC IS NOT FOR A WHILE JGHDSGHFK (AFTER COMPROMISE IS BOND, THEN TECHNICALLY ETERNAL BUT THAT ONES ALREADY DONE, THEN HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, THEN THE WH FIC)
I PROMISE THE ONES AFTER COMPROMISE WONT TAKE ME AS LONG AS THIS ONE IS THO, THEYRE NOT AS LENGTHY/COMPLEX TO WRITE AS THIS ONE
#AND THE WH ONE ACTUALLY HAS A LOT OF SCENES ALREADY WRITTEN OUT AND MANY NOTES DONE SO THAT SHOULDNT TAKE ME TOO LONG TO COMPLETE WHEN I GET#TO IT#LIKE I KID U NOT THAT FIC IS ALREADY AT LIKE 15000 WORDS AND ITS STILL NOT EVEN HALF DONE ITS GONNA BE LOOOOONG#ACTUALLY IM GONNA DOUBLE CHECK BC IM CURIOUS#JFC I VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED#OK SO UUHHH WITH THE NOTES AND ALL THE COMPLETED SCENES ITS ACTUALLY AT ALMOST 23000 WORDS#AND STILL NOT EVEN HALFWAY DONE#SO UM#//DIES//#HELLO YES I LIKE TO MAKE MY READERS SUFFER APPARENTLY //S OBS//#ANYWAY SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION BUT YEAH THATS THE ORDER ITLL BE GOING IN#ALSO THERES THAT ONE DATE FIC THAT A COUPLE USERS GAVE ME AN IDEA FOR A LONG TIME AGO THAT I HAVE A PLAN FOR BUT I'LL GET ALL THIS STUFF DON#*DONE FIRST#I HATE CHARACTER LIMITS GHJFDHJKL#OP#Anonymous#AH SHIT THO I JUST REALIZED THAT BY HAVING HAPPY ANNIVERSARY AND THEN THE WH FIC THATS TWO ANGSTY FICS ONE RIGHT AFTER ANOTHER#MAYBE I SHOULD DO THE CUTE DATE FIC BEFORE THE WH ONE HMMM#IDK#I'LL WAIT TILL CLOSER TO THE TIME THOSE COME OUT AND ASK UR GUYS'S OPINION ON IT PROBLY#LIKE LET U LOT DECIDE IDFK
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Is Sambucky Canon or Not?
TL;DR: Yes, it is
I've seen some people saying that they only see friendship between Sam and Bucky, and I can understand that. Because depending on your education, the environment you grew up and the kind of media you’re usually exposed to, you will have a different interpretation of different situations, in real life or in TV.
Just let me insert a short story before I dive into the Sambucky topic:
My best friend's uncle is in his fifties and has been living with his roommate (a man) for more than 10 years. They lived together, went on holidays together but officially were just roommates. My best friend wondered if they were a couple, but never talked about it to her parents because it wasn't her business.
Two years ago, they decided to come out and get married. My best friend's parents and his parents were genuinely surprised, they were not expecting that, at all, not even a little bit. Let me tell you that it didn’t even cross their mind that it was a possibility, at all.
For them, it had always just been two men who had decided to live together because they were single. And preferred to have a roommate rather than living alone.
What I want to say with this story is that people will see what they want to see, or what they're used to see, or what they were raised to see. It’s human.
What I mean is that you will have different perception of a same event, depending on your own circumstances. And I think the writers of TFATWS were counting on that a little bit when it came to Sam and Bucky’s relationship. They obviously didn't want to make some big announcement or big love declaration.
And yes, of course, I have my own circumstances as well, influencing the way I see things.
I have shipped SamBucky since Civil War, when they were supposedly enemies. I never expected anything to happen between them on screen. But then they got a show together and I was so so happy about it but I didn't expect anything other than friendship between them.
I was perfectly fine with that because a show was already more than enough: my man Sam Wilson was becoming Captain America, the show was great, the characters were great, their interactions were great, and this wasn't a love story anyway but a superhero show. I thought that here was no way the showrunners would ever go there.
I changed my mind after episode 5. I tried to stay objective, but it was clear to me that the writers were hinting at a relationship that went beyond friendship between Sam and Bucky.
In some of my previous posts, I explained that there are some scenes and writing choices that make absolutely no sense if you read them as a scene between two friends. I can link them if anyone’s interested.
Side note: I would like to know if one person on this website can tell me what was up with Bucky's behavior with Torres (in episode 5)? What other explanation is there, if not jealousy? It's a scene they chose to keep, so it was probably written this way, there must be a reason. Please I’m begging someone explain it to me. I'm genuinely asking, because otherwise that scene alone is canon Sambucky.
After episode 5, I was convinced they would make Sambucky canon, one way or the other and I started speculating about the ways they could do it.
What I said was that if they did make Sambucky canon, they would do it in a very subtle way, in order not to make it too obvious because that’s generally how Marvel movies deal with love stories. And also because they wouldn’t want to scare away their homophobic audience ( I guess Disney needs their money...who knows)
So here are the scenes of how I imagined SamBucky becoming canon and the comparison with reality:
1.
- What I thought we could get : AJ and Cass calling Bucky "Uncle Bucky"
- What we got: AJ and Cass running up to Bucky and playing with him.
This point is interesting because it’s also related to the point I made about how the environment you grew up in influences your perception of things. I grew up in a big family and I know that, at least in my family, kids don't run up to an adult like that just because it's their uncle’s friend or just because he's nice... There's a real bond there. They haven't seen Bucky just that one time when he slept on the couch. They're obviously close. But some people might just see this as kids being kids. Also, if you watch at how the kids were fake punching him, they were really coordinated with Bucky. They have done this plenty of times.
2.
What I thought we could see: A non-explicit scene where we were supposed to draw our own conclusions. I thought they could show us Bucky staying over for the night, and the last scene would be an empty couch, meaning we would have to understand that Bucky slept in Sam's room this time.
-What we got: Bucky arriving in Sam's car ( A few people on Tumblr pointed out that it was the car Sam was driving in episode 1)
So here again we have a scene that a lot of people will not notice. But they still chose to put it there.
3.
What I thought could happen: Sam asking Bucky to stay in Delacroix
What we got: Bucky wrapping things up in New York, as if he was leaving the city for good and coming to Sam's party as if he already knew everyone there. You can read my take on this here.
4.
What I thought could happen: The scene in the trailer where we see them looking in the same direction and then we get a shot from very far away where they're holding hands but it’s not so obvious because they are being filmed from a disctance.
-What we got: The scene in trailer and then a blurry shot of Sam holding Bucky and then fondling with his neck to find the best spot to rest his hand on.
So none of the scenes I was imagining happened exactly like I had imagined, but it felt like all of them happened but in a different versions, which is still crazy to me.
If it had been only one scene. I could probably understand the people who see them as just friends. Actually, I still do understand the people who see them as just friends, because everyone has their own interpretation. What I am saying is that they are NOT being portrayed as just friends.
There are TOO many scenes in the 6 episodes for it to be a coincidence. One or 2 would be ok but friendship doesn’t explain everything:
The therapy scene (not the therapy scene itself since it was improvised) but the therapist saying she had heard a lot about Sam and wanting them to do a couples’ therapy
Bucky following Sam no matter what
Sam saying ok as soon as Bucky says "do it for me"
Sam asking "what about Bucky?"
Bucky starting to touch Sam whenever he has the chance
Bucky being the one to bringing the suit for Sam
The boat repairing montage
Bucky wanting to stay at Sam's place, when a hotel room would have been more comfortable than a couch
The second day of boat repair in closed quarters with an intense staring scene.
And there are so many other scenes, soft touches, looks,...
These writing choices are not a coincidence, it’s not involuntary, and it’s not fan service ( Fan service is the roll in the flower field scene, or the therapy session). This is them telling a story.
Let’s not even talk about the scenes in Endgame:
Sam comforting bucky at Tony’s funeral
Sam looking up to Bucky for approval before accepting the shield from Steve.
So yes, Sam and Bucky are canon in the sense that Peter and Gamora were canon in the first movie, or Wanda and Vision were canon in Captain Civil War. Meaning that there was no big moment, kiss or anything, but the show is consistently throwing elements clearly showing Sam and Bucky as a romantic item and hinting at a lot more than friendship between them.
It is normal that some people have a different opinion. Because it is extremely rare, in big productions like this to have two male leads with romantic feelings towards each other, so not a lot people who see it will interpret it as such (I don't think it ever happened). You’ll see what you’re used to seeing.
I guess it also depends on what you expect from a love story. For me, the storyline between the characters, their scenes, their chemistry, the way their feelings towards each other are described, are the most important. The kiss scene is just there as a bonus, but I don't need it when the love story is told perfectly. If you’re used to seeing love stories with many kissing scenes, that’s what you will be expecting to see in most love stories.
If you're only used to seeing male friendships in superhero or action movies. The 1000th time you see men interacting in that type of movie or show, you are more likely to assume it is a friendship and nothing more, no matter how many codes and tropes usually associated with romantic movies, the writers and show makers are using.
Add to that the conviction that Disney would never approve Sambucky in a million years, and there you go, I can understand the people who see only friendship.
But, just think about it, if we had the same show, same scenes, same dialogues, but minus the action scenes and the project was being marketed as an Indie movie, would you think they were just friends or a blossoming couple?
If you read Sambucky’s relationship like a friendship: some scenes don't make sense. If you read it like a developing romantic relationship: it all makes sense.
"When you hear hoofs, think horse, not zebra"
If a writer or a film director chooses a last scene with a romantic setting and the two leads are staring at a sunset, smiling repeatedly at each other and then walking away together with one of them touching the other's neck, with a love song in the background, maybe friendship isn't the first thought they had in mind.
Some people may say “I see them as just friends” and other people may say “ I see them as lovers” and both are fine, because people have different perceptions, and that’s ok.
What I am saying is this post is that the show and the writers are portraying them as more than just friends, they’re portraying them as two characters who are romantically involved.
Perceive what you want but that’s how they are being presented in the show.
Bucky’s therapist said that the exercise she gave them was for couples who want to figure out what kind of life they want to build together. Then, the show ends with Sam and Bucky, staring at a sunset together, looking in the same direction.
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. “ - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
What else do you need???
This show had more romance than half of the Marvel projects out there. Not every love story needs a kiss (for now...)
We'll see in their next projects which direction the writers want to go with this. But since it was said that the writer on the movie is the same as the writer from episode 5, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll keep seeing this dynamic.
I don't think they would have made the same choices if this had been a movie. But I won't complain that we got this.
I hope they keep this going even if it stays subtle like in the show. Just hope they will add one explicit scene where one of the characters acknowledges their relationship. But even if we only ever get this show, it’s already a great love story.
Let me know what you guys think and sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, I was tired when I wrote the last part. I hope it still makes sense!
If you think they're only being portrayed as friends let me know why! I would also like to know about the way you see this!
#sambucky#sam wilson#bucky barnes#tfatws#the falcon and the winter soldier#tfatws spoilers#Please feel free to comment on this and tell me what you think#I'm genuinely interested in having other POVs
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Secrets of the Deltarune
Okay so I was taking a closer look at the Deltarune and I started to notice some really weird things. It’s a symbol for the Kingdom of Monsters, right? Wrong. Gerson tells us “That's the Delta Rune, the emblem of our kingdom.The Kingdom...Of Monsters.” Okay so its the same thing, right? Nope. I looked up emblem and its distinction from Symbol. A Symbol represents an idea, a process, or a physical entity. While an Emblem is often an abstract that represents a concept like a moral truth or an allegory. And when it is used for a person, it is usually a King, a saint, or even a deity. An emblem crystallizes in concrete, visual terms some abstraction: a deity, a tribe or nation, or a virtue or vice and can be worn as an identifier if worn as say a patch or on clothing or armor or carried on a flag or banner or shield.
So what does it matter? Well Gerson even tells us why. “That emblem actually predates written history.The original meaning has been lost to time...“ Hold up. Predates written history? The beginning of written history is approximately 5500 years ago. Somewhere around 3400 B.C.E. Thats a long time. And the prophecy that goes with the symbol talks about the Underground going empty, so it can only really be as old as The War Between Humans and Monsters.
But...when was that? The game doesn’t tell us the exact dates. Well we have a couple clues. At the beginning of the game we have a little cut-scene of the war and then a bit where we see a human going up the mountain only to fall down into the Underground. Most players assume that this is you, beginning your adventure. Except its not. Later in the game, when you SAVE Asriel in the True Pacifist Route, we’re shown another cutscene with the exact same human figure in EXACTLY the same position, being helped by a very young Asriel and the silhouette of Toriel. It’s Chara, not Frisk.
So our date of 201X (2010-2019) takes place long before Frisk even arrives. We don’t know how long before.
That really doesn’t help with when they were first thrown down there though. So I took a look at the images before that, of the war. The first image shows a human who is very different from the later pictures. Both the make of the spear and the animal hide-like clothing suggest that it’s probably stone age. The text tells us a very general “Long Ago”when describing how both races ruled the earth together. In the next two images we’re shown the actual war. The crowd of humans have various things like torches and spears. Those diamond type spears are very similar to Roman Pilums.
The Human figure with a sword was interesting though. He bore a mantle (cape or cloak) and is sporting a sword. Though there’s not much detail, we can still identify the general time period of the sword. The size isn’t big enough for a proper claymore or longsword, or even a hand and half sword. Since our figure appears to be moving forward, and we can guess that it’s not in a friendly manner given the context, yet still holding the sword in one hand instead of two, it’s probably a one handed broadsword. It also has a cruciform hilt (cross-shaped) that is slightly curved. The blade is quite wide with what appears to be straight edges (based on two images with limited detail). And it has a very narrow Ricasso, an unsharpened length of blade just above the guard or handle.
Ricassos were used all throughout history, but they’re pretty notable for the Early Medieval Period in Europe. And the rest of the sword (blade type, length, crossguard, and method of use) is very reminiscent of a Medieval Knightly Arming Sword, the prominent type of sword in that period from the 10th to 13th centuries.
So I had to take a closer look at my spears. Turns out, they actually more closely resemble a medieval cavalry lance or javelin. And many Javelins have their root in the style of the Roman Pilums, including the sometimes diamond shaped tips.
The sword and mantle of the figure suggest heavily he’s a knight, and backed up by the spear carriers we can guess that its the Early Medieval Period, possibly the beginning of the Romanesque Period. So that would place us all roughly a thousand and at least ten years before Chara fell into the Underground in 201X.
Asgore was certainly alive back then. In the Genocide Route Gerson says “Long ago, ASGORE and I agreed that escaping would be pointless...Since once we left, humans would just kill us.“ and in the Post-Pacifist when you go back to talk to everyone he’ll say this when talking about Undyne “I used to be a hero myself, back in the old days. Gerson, the Hammer of Justice.” He even talks about how Undyne would follow him around when he was beating up bad guys, and try to help, by enthusiastically attacking people at random such as the mailman.
This tells us that Gerson and Asgore are as old as the original war and both had been part of the battle. And both lived long enough to survive till now. Gerson is quite old looking, while Asgore is not. He explains this by saying that Boss Monsters don’t age unless they have children and then they age as their children grow, otherwise they’ll be the same age forever.
But Undyne doesn’t appear to be old. And I started to wonder how long normal monsters lived in comparison to Boss Monsters. A long time for sure. From the Undertale 5th Anniversary Alarm Clock Dialogue we can learn that Asgore once knew a character called Rudy (who also appears in the Deltarune Game), who he met at Hotland University and appeared to be generally the same age as Asgore. Since it takes place in Hotland we know that it was already when they were underground, Asgore was King and was already doing his Santa Clause thing, and that Asgore was trying to find ways to occupy his time aside from actually Ruling.
In the dialogue he tells us that Rudy began to look older than him. “I was there for it all. His Youth, his Marriage, his Fatherhood. Then, suddenly, one day... he fell down. ... Rudy... I... was never able to show you the sun.”
Monsters can live a long time. But Boss Monsters, as long as they don’t have a child, can live nearly forever as long as they aren’t killed. Based on that, Undyne is probably quite young and Gerson is incredibly old even for a Monster, and yet only recently he’s stopped charging around fighting bad guys. Since Undyne was with him, those bad guys were in the Underground, and his distinction of her attacking not so bad folk like the mailman, means that he was probably in an official capacity to fight crime, such as a guardsman, or maybe captain of the royal guard.
So. Even though there’s plenty of time for a prophecy to spring up naturally. We have a number of Monsters who have actually lived that long that would be more than happy to correct mistakes and assumptions. Gerson is quite elderly and is a tad forgetful, but he still knows much. Characters such as Toriel and Asgore are still hale and hearty, and both had witnessed so much. Though we know very little about the character, Elder Puzzler is also implied to be quite aged and knows a great deal about the “Puzzling Roots” of Monster History.
You’re probably wondering what all of this is leading to. Well with these characters in place to maintain knowledge of history in the populace, then we have an Underground which created a prophecy AFTER it was trapped there, which leads me to conclude that when the prophecy was created, it must have been referencing something older than the War of Monsters and Humans.
“The original meaning has been lost to time... All we know is that the triangles symbolize us monsters below, and the winged circle above symbolizes... Somethin' else. Most people say it's the 'angel,' from the prophecy...”
‘Angel’. This is when we hear about the angel. We see the Deltarune on Toriel’s clothing and on the Ruins door. As well as behind Gerson himself. The thing he mentions clearly has wings of some kind. Surrounding a ball (note to self: Look into possible connection between mythical ball artifact from the piano room and the Deltarune Emblem). It looks a little like the fairy from the Zelda series.
Those “triangles” are the greek letter Delta. That letter has a lot of connections and meanings to it. A river delta is shaped like the letter which is how it got its name. There are a number of maths and science connections. But the two connections you’d be interested in are that a Delta chord is another name for a Major Seventh Chord in music. The soundtrack of Undertale uses these chords to do fantastic things with the tone and aesthetic of its leitmotifs, changing them from a happy or hopeful tune, to a dark and despairing one without actually changing the melody.
And in a subfield of Set Theory, a branch of mathematics and philosophical logic, it is used to calculate and examines the conditions under which one or the other player of a game has a winning strategy, and the consequences of the existence of such strategies. The games studied in set theory are usually Gale–Stewart games—two-player games of perfect information (each player, when making any decision, is perfectly informed of all the events that have previously occurred, including the "initialization event" of the game (e.g. the starting hands of each player in a card game)) in which the players make an infinite sequence of moves and there are no draws.
But why is one of them turned upside down? I started looking things up again. Turns out there is such a symbol. The Nabla symbol is the Greek Letter Delta only inverted so that it appears upside down. Its name comes from the Phoenician harp shape, though its also called the “Del”. A musical connection is exactly what Toby would do. But its main use is in mathematics, where it is a mathematical notation to represent three different operators which make equations infinitely easier to write. These equations are all concerned with what is called Physical Mathematics. That is... Mathematics that calculate and have to do with measuring the physical world.
Why is that relevant? Well the difference between humans and monsters is that humans have physical bodies while monsters are made primarily of magic.
Well I also discovered that the Delta symbol for the ancient Greeks was sometimes used to as an abbreviation for the word δύση , which meant the West in the compass points. West, westerly, sunset, twilight, nightfall, dusk, darkness, decline, end of a day.
All this symbolism for a couple of triangles. There’s entire books devoted to them. And he calls the whole symbol, deltas and angel alike, the Delta RUNE. Whats a rune? Well a rune is a letter, but specifically a letter from the writing of one of the Germanic Languages before the adoption of the Latin alphabet.
Interestingly... the Greek Letter Delta does NOT qualify as a Rune. In any stretch of the word. I searched for hours. What I DID find was the etymological origins of the word Rune. It comes from a Proto-Germanic word “rūnō“ which means something along the lines of “whisper, mystery, secret, secret conversation, letter”. Interesting. So since its paired up with the Delta... it could be taken to mean “The Secret of the Delta” or “The Delta’s Secret”.
If we make a few assumptions we might even get something like “The Secret of the West” or “The Mystery of the Twilight” or numerous other variations that have different connotations.
It’s conjecture, certainly, and possibly a few stretches. But it is certainly there to think about.
My thoughts centered around the positioning of the letters. The idea that the one facing up represented Humanity, and the two ordinary Deltas were Monsters. With the Angel above them all.
Or rather, SOMETHING above them all. We have no proof that the idea of an Angel existed before the Underground’s prophecy. I like to think it did because usually that sort of thing draws on previously existing beliefs and ideas.
For all we know the symbol could represent an abstract idea that governed both monsters and humans. Like “Kill or be killed” or “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” or other basic idiomatic ideologies of that sort.
Other than the realization that the Deltarune is older than the prophecy and the Underground, I didn’t have a concrete idea of what the Emblem actually means. Just a lot of theories and connective ideas. But there’s certainly a lot to be found. I don’t really know how much thought Toby actually put into this, but he’s quite well known for secrets within secrets. So its possible he knew all this going in. If he’s anything like me, and I am notorious for writing this sort of twisting references within references within references into my stories, then he’s probably at least aware of an existing connection.
Its quite probably that the Deltarune is exactly what Gerson tells us. An emblematic set of symbols that is used to represent the continuing Kingdom of Monsters and has been since before written history. But as he says... its so old that it might have had a different meaning originally, whatever idea the Monsters wanted to remember, wanted to uphold enough to use it for their royal family and their kingdom, a reminder. Of something, or someone.
#undertale#deltarune#undertale deltarune#delta#greek delta#delta symbol#rune#delta rune#nabla symbol#runes#symbols#emblems#mathematics#musical theory#medieval history#gerson undertale#emblem#undertale theory#undertale analysis#video game analysis#video game theory
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empty [five hargreeves x reader]
request: I loved the “four months” Five fic oh my 💕💕but, What about a Fic where Five finds reader dead?? Like just imagine the pain, sorrow and anger Five would feel to find reader, the one person who stuck with him in Comission, that dealt with his grumpyness, who actually liked him and viceversa and risked it all for him and his family, was killed by Commission :”) Obviously you don’t have to do it if you don’t have to, don’t feel pressure!!
a/n: first of all, thank you!! and i tried my best to follow your request, but as i said in my previous x reader, i really suck at angst??? i tried to keep it as sad as i could and i hope it turned out at least decent?? i feel like i kinda shifted from the request idk lemme know your opinion on it! xoxo
btw, this is not set in the canon timeline, since i could not find the right time for this to take place in. it is around season 1, before they find out vanya has powers, but let’s just take as an AU in which they had more than 10 days to save the world idk
as always, here’s a gif off google lol, but this time iss a sad five:(
summary: five tries to deal with his feelings as he loses his significant other at the hands of the commission
Empty.
A big pit of emptiness had made itself felt inside of Five, as he was slowly letting the reality sink in.
He was never going to see you again, he was never going to talk to you again, he was never going to touch you again. He was never going to see your smile again, he was never going to hear the sound of your laughter again, or feel you in his arms whenever you let excitement take over you and engulf him into a hug- he may not have been a very touchy person, but whenever you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down, Five felt happy.
And he knew, right now- he knew well he’d never be that happy again.
It was a fucking nightmare to him, honestly. That’s what he’d say if you were to ask him; his past few days had been horrible. Not only he returned to his family ten days before an apocalypse that in the past killed them, and he had no idea how to stop it, but now he lost the person he was so madly in love with.
At first, he spent a decent amount of time in denial, not willing to accept the fact, but it slowly started feeling real to him. He was slowly accepting it, and as he did so, he was feeling inside how most of his emotions were slowly draining out of him.
Until he was left empty.
And he did prefer it this way, rather than the mixture of feelings that overwhelmed him in the beginning. He was angry, he was pissed of, but he was also sad, miserable. He was furious with the Commission, but he was more furious with himself for not being able to protect you and have your back, like you had his.
Ever since you and Five met years ago in the organization, you had taken a liking to the man. You spent your entire life focusing on your job and forgot to have a life of your own, but once you met Five Hargreeves, it all changed.
The Handler assigned you one mission to go together on, but ever since then, the two of you realized how well you worked together and how much more efficiently the work was getting done, rather than working by yourselves.
It was only a matter of time until you two decided to partner up, so. You had been through a lot of events and mishaps together, you got into fights and shared good laughs, you even fell in love with each other...
You had been through so, so much, that it was slowly killing Five as he remembered the good times.
“Five?” Allison softly knocked on the boy’s door, “The others figured it was time.”
The sudden presence of his sister startled him a bit, but he softened back. He knew it wasn’t only him that suffered- his brothers and sisters were in grief as well. When Five made the big jump from 1963 to 2019, he took you with him to save the world from the impending apocalypse, as well as his siblings that he loved, deep down.
They took an instant liking to you, even if they didn’t have much time to get very close to you. At first, though, they seemed baffled with the fact that you had so much patience with Five. You had been dealing with his grumpy butt, and you weren’t even his wife? How could one person be so calm when she spends so much time with one sarcastic asshole who doesn’t really owe her anything?
“Right.” Five sighed, getting up from his bed with lazy movements, “I’ll be down in a moment.”
Allison nodded, letting him change back into his usual clothes, making her way back to the rest of the family.
Five put on his uniform, staring into nothingness. He felt exhausted, like he had lost the game of life. If he hadn’t loved his siblings so much that he couldn’t stand losing them as well (again), he probably wouldn’t have even bothered to save the world anymore.
Even in his numb state of mind, he still hated himself for not being able to save you. His self-inflicted hatred was so strong, he couldn’t even sleep at night, as your lifeless body is the only thing he could see when he closed his eyes.
“Y/N?” Five’s voice was low, as a lump had formed in his throat once he took in the scene before him.
He was waiting- hoping, for an answer, but, oh God- he knew he was not going to receive one.
The room was an entire mess; there were clear signs of struggle. The cushions on the sofa were scattered around the living room, many expensive statues and vases left around as decor on tables were broken, as well as pots of flowers. All the drinks on the shelves behind the bar were broken to bits, alcohol was spilled on the floor.
As well as blood.
And many bullet shells.
Five ran towards the bar, rounding it. When his eyes fell on the floor, his heart dropped out of his chest.
You were laying on a side, with your hair all across your face in a pool of your own blood. Five couldn’t care less about the broken glass surrounding you, as he fell to his knees, pulling your body into his arms;
“Y/N!” He yelled, feeling his vision blurry, as he took in your state.
His clothes had already been stained with blood so many times, but never in his life did he think that he’d dirty himself with yours.
Your eyes were almost closed, but he knew right ther eon the spot he’d never be able to forget the emptiness inside them. The spark you had whenever you smiled, or even looked at him had disappeared. They were dull and out of any emotion.
Your skin was pale and cold, as Five’s hot tears fell on you. A mixture of emotions was filling his body, unsure of what to make of the scene before him. His hands were shaking uncontrollably, as he softly stroked your hair, unable to do anything.
He had seen his fair share of corpses- he knew how to recognize one, as much as he didn’t want to.
Cha-Cha had returned to the Hargreeves house that day, once again. After a long dispute with her partner who wanted out, she decided to start the mission the Commission had sent in; eliminate Y/N Y/L/N, since you had a big role in stopping the apocalypse.
You were all by yourself at the house, as you had been sore after a fight you had the previous night with the Handler, so you took the day off. The Hargreeves siblings left in their own business, and you figured you’d be able to enjoy the big house to yourself for the day, since Pogo and Grace had done the same.
A few hours had barely passed, when Cha-Cha had barged in with two hand guns, all serious. When you first started fighting, you were grateful for returning to your younger body, since you were able to put up a good fight even in your sore state... but it all went sideways when the woman managed to shoot you in the leg after throwing you over the glass coffee table.
You were already out of stamina, so it didn’t take long for her to pull you up by the shirt and throw you over the bar, right into the shelves full of expensive liquor.
Cha-Cha knew that did it, so she left before any of the siblings could return and catch her. As for you? Well, as it had turned out in the autopsy performed by Grace, you had suffered a horrible blow to the head which took you out when you were thrown over the bar.
Not long after Five, the rest of the family shortly came in, but none of them could ever be prepared for that scene- seeing all the chaos in the living room, the bullets, the broken glass, the blood... their heartbroken brother who was clutching onto the lifeless body of the woman he loved, sobbing heavily.
“Wh... What happened in here...?” Klaus wondered, as tears were already dwelling down his eyes.
“Is she...?” Ben asked, covering his mouth in shock- even if he had never spoken to you since he was unable to, he liked sitting in the back and watching you deal with his brother. He was really happy he had someone that loved him that much, even if you were not willing to admit it yet to his face.
“Oh my God...” Vanya breathed out, feeling her bottom lip tremble, as Allison was too shocked to even say a word, starting to cry heavily into Luther’s chest.
“Whoever did this... is going to pay.” Diego declared, clenching his teeth.
The following days had been hard to digest for any of them, especially for Five. He thought he was too clever to ever want revenge on someone, but your death had Commission written all over it. He knew very well that Cha-Cha and maybe Hazel had struck again- after all, they barged into your home one time before in the search for him, so why not do it again? After all, last time, from what he’s heard, they dropped the chandelier in the hallway on Luther.
“I’m going after the Commission.” Five declared, as his family stood in silence after having scattered your ashes in the backyard you and him had first popped out in.
“No, you are not.” Luther said, as his siblings turned to him curiously, “We are going after the Commission.”
Diego placed a hand in comfort on Five’s shoulder, as the siblings nodded in agreement, ready to avenge the loss of their loved one.
“I’m quite flattered.” You sighed, crossing your arms as you looked at Five, trying your hardest not to cry because of what could have been between the two of you.
Ben shifted beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder, as he noticed the sadness in your tone, “I’m here for you, Y/N.”
“Thank you, Ben.” You turned to him with a smile, as you tried to lighten up the mood, “At least Klaus has two guardian ghosts now.”
#the umbrella academy#the umbrella academy imagines#the umbrella academy imagine#the umbrella academy x reader#umbrella academy#netflix#tua#tua x reader#five hargreeves x reader#five hargreeves imagine#five hargreeves imagines#five hargreeves#number five#number five x reader#number five imagine#number five imagines
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when you are reading this rant take full offense its 2am here and im mad as hell
fair warning this post is long as fuck and has several arguments pertaining to specific peeves i need to rant about before i go crazy. if you're not interested just keep scrolling it's not hard it's literally the core of social media navigation
you know what? ima say it.
black flag is the best ac game and deserves more recognition than just pirate drinking jokes because:
nearly every named character (sorry burgess and cockram) has development and personalities. cant say that for that many others in other games.
not too much fucking shit to do in it (unlike uhhhhhhhh every fucking other game in the franchise. stop it. i dont need 500 treasure chests in arno's game he already has an excellent revenue with the cafe. i dont need a ton of side quests. i dont need 30+ chests per london burough. i dont need a million question marks on my map. i dont need all of egypt or greece to be littered with shit to do. fuck this.).
unlocking shit is so much easier. edward knows where every treasure chest is and doesnt pay for treasure maps. and literally unlocking shit is so much easier.
base is slept on. its fucking cool. its fucking fun. its fucking useful as shit. its fucking pretty as all hell. fuck you.
good story, fun story, great dlc, relatable story (unless youre some bootlicking cowardly rich cunt) emotional story but not depressing (unity im looking at your ending. origins stop killing children.), satisfying end.
i can do the combat with one hand. you know what that means? i can eat and drink without pausing. i can reply to text messages without pausing. i can pet my dogs and cats while playing.
main character actually has changed by the end of the game a vast amount. motherfucker, edward changed more in his antó mission than ezio did in his trilogy.
if you dont complete all objectives you still have a passing score on the mission. do you know what its like to be raised to only get good grades on stuff and see yourself getting a 60% on a thing thats supposed to be a pass time just because you forgot something.
the naval combat isnt hard you just need practice. also i know the hunter ship sucks in the first mission you encounter but literally drop your sails but hold the wheel. once its in view let go. swim to it. take out the crew. swim back. bada bing bada boom go oneshot the crew. incredible, you're safe now.
legendary ship battles are really fucking cool and my mom doesnt yell at me for killing a giant beast for next to nothing.
the sea shanties and tavern songs slap.
farm animal petting simulator. not forced to kill dogs (ac3, odyssey).
obviously its good if the other games are just gonna copy paste it.
ed's tattoos are sick.
edward is literally the first canon bisexual. he literally says so in game. he literally fucking flirts with blackbeard. he literally was a pirate. why the fuck do you think birate is such an accurate pun.
diving outfit.
thicc.
the female characters dont have titties all over the place. even anne's boobs arent that big, which is good considering she is underage. the same cannot be said for many of the women in ezio's games.
guess who has a solid, interesting, and realistic personality. not kassandra or alexios thats for sure.
he is NOT moved by man pain (ezio, connor, bayek) to carry out his missions. he didn't want to be poor, he wanted to be able to provide for his family. he is just carrying out his dream to sail a ship. when he starts being "good", he is doing it out of guilt and shame on his past self (what, self reflection? someone, teach jacob this term), not because "wahh my girlfriend/mom/child/family died :'(", he wanted to make it up to his lost friends by making them proud and doing what they wished he had done. his regrets are in not being a better friend while mary was alive, not seeking out her killers (guards at fort). thatch's death crushed him, but he didn't thrust his anger on seeking revenge. and the characters that did die? they had personalities and development and were interesting and memorable. i cant tell you shit about cristina.
he is very respecting of women, especially for a white guy from the 1600s. he, as a teenager (under 17 i believe), attempted to save a woman he did not know and had no intentions of wooing (hey um ezio? you literally only were able to save cristina from being raped because you stalked her because you thought she was attractive. like thanks for saving her but uhh am i the only one that finds that creepy?) even though the odds of winning against three older men were stacked against him and he knew they could (and almost did) beat him to death. fuck if caroline wasnt there he would've been killed.
the modern day stuff is an excellent way to separate intense scenes and the little mini hacking games are fun puzzles. oh boohoo desmond isn't there? yes he was, half the things you hack literally give you desmond content.
rebecca's outfit fucking slaps.
from experience, its fun to play even if you dont know shit about the other ac games. pirates are cool and the story is easy to follow, just be prepared to find some of the other endings big letdowns or lots of the other games' missions boring.
is that fanservice that goes both ways but doesnt oversexualize any gender? why yes, it is!
stop reducing black flag to alcoholism jokes like yall constantly fucking do, it has so many other talking points and if you wanna make fun of something maybe choose something that isnt addiction. literally i make fun of edward constantly without pointing out his alcoholism it isnt that hard. if you're gonna make fun of edward for drinking rum when water in the 1700s often wasnt safe and making fun of him when he was depressed (he has multiple other intended self harming behaviors shown in game so no, he wasnt just drinking because its fun), why don't i see the same "wHy is aLL tHe WiNE gONe?" posts for arno? he was an alcoholic too. in fact arno and edward have a lot of the same forms of depression but oh, arno's a more serious character personality wise and isn't a pirate so his grieving isn't as funny.
and like, there are plenty of other things to make fun of with edward that might not make light of alcoholism because no, edward's drinking in the main story was not written to be a joke. here, a list of things i regularly make fun of him for:
this highwaisted man's got feminine hips
there is no reason for him to be that thicc
his bangs are a mess
his hair???? glows???? okay rapunzel.
his tatts that are just lines
actually you know what his tatts in general what do they mean ubisoft what even language are the words on his body in
how this whore opens the bottled messages on the beach. "ah yes, let me put this mysterious item in my mouth. i have no idea where its been. i could very well open it to read a note that says "i pissed on this""
"woman i just met... must respect her.. man i just met... im either going to give you a death threat, tease you, or flirt... sometimes multiple choices will be done......"
i mean he had the full right to be a bastard to walpole on the beach since he did try to be friendly but walpole was being to bitchy and needy. and like them being stranded wasnt edward's fault but walpole was still gonna make him build a ship and there is no reason for edward to trust walpole since after they get to havana he can easily just be like "thats a pirate, hang him." but like. the way he just immediately decides to steal his identity. legend.
why does he just blindly follow older men's orders like that
he trims his beard to a very odd location. i know it isn't a flattering pose but like. look at the underside of his jaw.
"how many references to dog behavior can we put in one character"
phobia of sleeping in a bed
"you saved my life i am eternally grateful."
edward are you seriously arguing with your eight year old daughter about the difference between a boat and a ship
where are your tanlines
how did he not die of skin cancer first
edward probably doesnt have any body hair because ubisoft didnt want his legs to glow in the dark too
look at his marooned outfit. bitch what the fuck is on your shirt. and where are your hair ties.
his dramatic beauty guru smokey eyes
he held that sword by the blade in the single madman quest. wh
anyway, the long run of this is, if you're gonna reblog an edward post from me specifically to make fun of an overused joke, go fuck yourself.
#edward#ac4#i talk#assassins creed#im tired#and im tired of it!#im not saying to make fun of arno's alcoholism btw#just... just because edward tends to behave a little happier doesnt mean he is#both these men are depressed but like fuck mental disorders i guess
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Little thought about The Tyrant’s Tomb. [SPOILERS!!!!]
oKAY, so I’m gonna start off by saying that, as usual, Rick Riordan’s writing style never fails to impress and draw me in to keep reading and not stop until I’ve devoured every last word. I was DESPERATE to read this book because it took me longer to get it than usual, and I was trying to go into it spoiler free (aside from reading the snippets that Uncle Rick posted on his Twitter every now and then.) I pretty much managed to do so, and it made the experience that much more emotional for me. I went into The Burning Maze KNOWING that Jason was going to die, but I had absolutely no idea what I’d be facing in this book.
Camp Jupiter
I’m just gonna flat out say it; I was never really all that interested in Camp Jupiter in the beginning. I didn’t like the majority of the characters (aside from Dakota who is my legal son) and the camp structure (though accurate to the Romans) seemed too strict and harsh to me. The ranking systems confused me, and it all in all just did not appeal to me the way Camp Half-Blood does. However, the more I read, the more attached I grew, and although I still MUCH prefer Camp Half-Blood and would choose it in a heartbeat when choosing between the two camps, it still became an interesting place to read about. I ADORE the idea of New Rome and the sharp contrast of silly demigods like the fifth cohort vs. the strict rules and upbringing of the camp.
When Jason died in The Burning Maze and the next book was set to take place surrounding Camp Jupiter, I grew excited. I REALLY wanted to meet more of the demigods of the Roman camp and explore them more (mostly Dakota but I digress.) Although I knew reading about everyone’s reactions to Jason’s death would be hard, I fought through it and was somewhat surprised by the lack of grieving that was presented. I mean, the ENTIRE first few chapters were ALL about Jason’s coffin and Lester and Meg grieving and trying their best to get it to camp but when it actually got there there really wasn’t that much of an uproar. At first I thought that was strange but looking back at it the Romans are brought up to be strong and not let emotions take over them, and people like Hazel have to show absolute strength. Besides the camp was already in mourning over DOZENS of other campers at the time.
That was another thing that sort of bugged me. I was absolutely ITCHING to meet some new characters and granted I got a few, but the majority of the ‘newer’ characters had already been killed and served only as the undead army.
THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP. It was one thing that I think Rick did a really good job with in upping the deep and darkness of the Riordanverse series. Can you imagine fighting your undead comrades and friends?? Like holy shit, that was emotional. I was super worried I spoiled something for myself on Istagram bc I read a post someone made about Jason trying to get the undead Romans to follow him instead or direct them away from camp, but I should have known it wasn’t true since he was literally burned.
Frank
Speaking of burning, I ACTUALLY thought Rick killed Frank off. Up until this book, I hadn’t really realized how much I loved this man. His character is just so well-written and likable and when he sacrificed the wood, I was like NOOOOOOOOO. I was SO grateful he came back in the end because I was sure Rick would never hear the end of THAT one if he allowed it to really happen. On the bright side, my baby boy can now enjoy his life with a little bit more vigor and less fear now that the stick is gone for good.
New Characters
Lavinia Asimov: Okay, Lavinia is a REALLLLLLLY weird character to me. She reminds me a lot of Lou Ellen to be honest, but for some reason, she doesn’t appeal to me as much as Lou Ellen does. (Maybe it’s just because I tend to prefer minor characters) Her rebelliousness seemed a little too... forced at times?? And her whole thing with the dryads and fauns was kinda weird too, but I guess since she likes Poison Ivy, it makes sense. However, she kinda did grow on me, I suppose, and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of her.
Poison Ivy: I REALLY wished we could have met her even just once. Lavinia would not shut up about her and was CONSTANTLY rebelling against the rules in camp just to see her, so I wanna know just what kind of a character she is. I’m sure she would have been very interesting and sassy to have been Lavinia’s love interest lol
Pranjal: He’s a good boy!!! Not quite sure how to pronounce his name properly, but his appearance is adorable and I LOVE the fact that he’s a son of Aesculapius because he’s one of my favorite gods soooo... I really wish we could have seen more of him!! He’s kinda like Clovis in the way that he has like one important part, gets mentioned like two times afterwards and then never again :^/
Aristophanes: he’s a cat,,, i love him,,,
Harpocrates: This was SO interesting and out of the blue to me having gone in spoiler free!! He’s earned a new spot up in my favorite gods list because of how interesting and mysterious he is. His concept was great and although i was sad to see him sacrificed, I hope that he and Sibyl are together wherever they are bc that was damn cute and made me so emotional afgkjldg why did Apollo have to be such a dick as a god,,,
New names with little to no info: Carl (Roman demigod,) Reza (Roman demigod,) Reginald (faun,) Felipe (faun,) Harold (faun,) Lotoya (dryad,) Buster (unicorn,) Muffin (unicorn,) Whagadoodle (unicorn,) Shirley (unicorn,) Horatio (unicorn,) One Eye (pegasus,) Small Ears (pegasus,) Boost (pandai,) Ida (Roman demigod,) Caelius (Roman demigod,) Thomas (Roman demigod,) Colum (Roman demigod,) and Terrel (Roman demigod)
Lester/Apollo
MY BOY HAS GROWN!!! He’s so human now, and I’m so proud. He doesn’t even second guess sacrificing himself or humiliating himself to save his friends. I just... I have a lot of feelings over his character development. Rick handles him SO well, and I just,,, I love him,,, i am,,, in love with him,, i would date lester papadopoulos
Meg
She’s grown to be such a doll!! I was SUPER annoyed by her in the first books, but now she’s my daughter. I love that she’s actually expressing emotions other than ‘annoying 12 year old’ now. Like I wanna protect her.
Reyna
She was a pretty good character in this book and her leaving the camp was a HUGE surprise to me. I kinda wish she was still praetor because idk Hazel just doesn’t rlly seem as fit for it as Reyna was, and I like Reyna a lot, but idk i guess it’s coolio. I was also glad Rick cleared up all the romance discourse about her too though the way he did it was kinda weird (she literally was using the word ‘ship’ out loud like wh-- and i don’t remember the venus thing at all so maybe i missed it from a different book? idk it came out of nowhere to me)
Ella and Tyson
I actually like Ella a lot now!! I used to find her quite annoying, and her relationship with Tyson felt forced, but now that I had the time to get used to her and figure out her character a little more, I do like her. She sort of treats Tyson weird, but I think towards the end, I fell for their relationship more. Tyson was literally excellent, show-stopping, breath-taking, amazing,,, like YESSS KING I LOVE YOU AND YOU PEANUT BUTTER-SMELLING SELF (that one scene where he just started dancing and apollo didn’t know if it was for the ritual or just bc he felt like it killed me)
Character Deaths
Dakota: I AM NEVER GOING TO GET OVER THIS ONE FOLKS. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I HAD TO REREAD THE SAME SENTENCE TO MAKE SURE THAT I WASN’T HAVING A NIGHTMARE. I PHYSICALLY CANNOT BELIEVE THAT RICK KILLED HIM OFF. I’M STILL EMOTIONAL OVER IT, AND JUST AJSDHF;AMNJ ‘; NOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS THE SECOND SIBLING POLLUX HAS LOST IM GOING TO S C R E A M HE WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AND HE DESERVED BETTER DAMN IT I’M LITERALLY IN SHOCK LITERALLY DO NOT TALK TO ME LIKE I’M STILL IN SHOCK FROM CREST’S DEATH IN THE LAST BOOK TBH AND NOW THIS??? NOW I’M SCARED CLOVIS IS GONNA DIE JSDKLFKS the only thing that gives me comfort is that Jason can be with his friend in Elysium now fuckkkk,,, rick why did you do this to me,,, I LITERALLY CANNOT EXPRESS HOW UPSET I AM I WILL N E V E R HEAL
Don: Don was sort of a comic relief character in SoN, and it was very sad to see him go. He reminded me a lot of Grover, and his death scene with Lavinia ACTUALLY made me tear up. THIS BOOK MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL GOD DAKOTA AND DON WERE LITERAL BABIES RICK GIVE THEM BACK
Bobby: listen,,, we never even met this kid rlly and i was still super sad when lavinia had to kill him again and hannibal is without him and just ughhh whyyy
Julia’s mother, father, AND foster parents: HOLY SHIT RICK WASN’T THAT KIND OF OVERKILL??? I felt so bad for the poor girl, especially cause she’s like six??? But it’s very sweet that Terminus adopted her. I really liked that.
Jacob: AAHHHAHA this one made me sad too!!!! he was such a minor character, but he reminded me of Damien White and Ethan Nakamura (if he were allowed to actually be a kid,) so I think that’s why I was sort of partial to him. The way he died was SUPER horrid too, so I just,,, im big sad for him (on a good hand, he went down F I G H T I N G)
Mentions of anything relating to Hypnos or his children
Yes, i am keeping track, sue me. Somnus was mentioned one time in this book as one of the gods Apollo briefly considered summoning to his aid, and it is presumed he has some sort of tribute at Camp Jupiter had he not before. You’ll make another appearance someday Clovis, I know it :’^D
Final Thoughts
I literally CANNOT wait for the next book (which I presume is the last one.) From what it seems, we’re returning to New York, so Camp Half-Blood will be present. I can’t wait to see my babes again, and I’m REALLY hoping more minor characters will be allowed to shine (cough clovis cough) but like i KNOW some will die and just,,, im sad,,, dakota’s death has wrecked me,,, but on the side note, the new book is coming out in my last year of school!!! i’m so excited because this series holds emotional value to me like i’ve literally gone through my high school career with trials of apollo like it was with me the whole time and it’s one of the only things that keeps me going. i just,,, i have no words to express how much this series and all the others mean to me...
thank you so much for keeping me going, uncle rick. i can’t wait to see how this all ends :^) <3
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Alter Ego ch. 3 “Ipsum Invenies”
Spideychelle, Peter Parker x Reader, slow burn fic, Enhanced reader.
Word Count: 2,158
Warnings: PTSD, nightmares, police being assholes, victim blaming. Mentions of rape and traumatic experiences
Summary: “When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.”
A/N: third chapter already! I’m really enjoying writing this and believe me that the plot thickens a lot more in the next chapter, but I would love it if you reblogged this if you enjoyed it, because it gets sad when I spent so long writing just for it to get only likes. Anyways, the taglist is still open, and just one ask away. Hope you enjoy this :) xx
Ch. 2 “Organorum” Ch. 4 “Perficiendi”
“You’re not gonna believe this.” you look at your roomate and you can’t believe it yourself, she looks at you corncerned, but she follows when you start walking towards your room. The apartment is made of two rooms, one bathroom and a small kitchen that’s right by the living room, there’s not that much space, but the five steps it took to get to your room door gave you enough time to think about the next thing you’d say: “Okay, you know how almost all the Avengers and superheores these days got their “special abilities” out of some kind of experiment, right? Like, Captain America is strong and super hot because of the weird thing they did to him during World War II, and the same with Winter Soldier. And then Scarlett Witch also got experimented on and stuff, you follow?”
“Yes, but what are you on about? Are you gonna call your parents or not?”
“Okay, so when the uber dropped me, tied and naked in the middle of fucking nowhere, assuming I was dead, someone took me as a lab rat. I woke up in a lab-like bed and they injected some shit on me and it basically made me feel like they set my veins on fire. Then I fainted and they dropped me in a lake because they thought I was dead, but I wasn’t. And I got out of the water. I untied myself and got out of the lake. They did took me to the hospital and they did give me some IV stuff, but when I got there I didn’t have any bruises or wounds or scars from any encounter I faced. And this morning the thing with the lady happened and… Oh my god… I think I…”
“Did you become a superhuman?”
“I think so” You reply while you look at your hands, anxious to unveil exactly what your new abilities are. “Let’s see, we know I might heal fast, I have a danger sensor, the world looks a lot wider and all my senses are like 10 times more intense… how do I know what else is going on?”
“Do you wanna google Superheroes and their super powers?” your roomie asks while taking her phone out.
“Yes, brilliant idea!” You reply as you get closer to her to take a look at her phone screen. The results end up being written down in a list. You get rid of the obvious ones like Ironman, who doesn’t actually have powers, or Thor who is an actual God. Once you get to the enhanced people, the party begins, it’s a funny and interesting scene.
“So Captain Great Ass has over developed muscle tissue and brain, which means he’s like super strong and intelligent… What can you lift to test your strenght?” She says while looking around the room. “Lift the bed.”
“I’ve always been able to lift that.” You’re looking for something harder. “Let’s see if I can lift one of the cars outside!” you suggest while looking at the widow.
“Don’t you care about being seen? I mean, some super people like to keep their identity hidden.”
“Oh, c’mon! I might not even be able to lift it.” But you could, as if it was not heavier than your matress, you lifted the car and you placed it back down before losing your mind. Neither you or your roomie could believe what was going on.
And your day was spent like that until you came up with the definitive list of abilities you possess now. You realized you share a lot of powers with Spider-man: super strenght, adhesive fingertips, the danger sense that made you feel the lady was in risk was very similar to his spider sense and it’s the same that made all of your normal senses shoot up, but besides all that, you also have some hyper flexibility, a slight super speed, and some kind of mind control, but you didn’t get too far with that because it gave you and your roomie a terrible headache.
“Are you finally going to call your parents?” She asks as she hands you a pill for the headache, though it was already going away, you take the pill hoping it’d give you the will of facing your parents and telling them what happened to you, but frankly, it isn’t a thing you wanna talk about with anbody.
“I guess I have to, but I really don’t know what to say.” You put your head in your hands to hide the tears welling up in your eyes, you try to even your breathing to not break in front of her.
“Start by telling them you’re alive and fine. You’ll tell them the rest when you feel ready.” She puts her phone in front of you, you take it and dial your house land line number. It doesn’t take long until someone picks up and you hear your mother’s voice.
“Hello.” She says and immediately, the tears start falling down your eyes uncontrollably, you hadn’t realized just how much you needed to hear your mother’s voice.
“M-mom…” you sob out.
“(Y/N), my little girl, tell me it’s actually you, please.” She says and she’s crying too.
“Yes mom, it is me. I’m fine, I’m home now. I woke up in a hospital, but Sebastian helped me, I’m fine.”
“Oh, (Y/N)! My little girl! I’m so happy to hear you alive and fine. The police told us they were trying to find the body, said there was no chance for you to still be alive, but they were wrong, they were wrong in not trying to find the bastard that did this to you, but God sees everything and he’ll put them in their place. My little girl, I love you so much!”
“I love you too, mom… wh- what do you mean they’re not looking for the driver?”
“No, when we went to press the charges, they turned it around to us, they said a woman had no place being out so late, much less wearing short shorts and thin shirt, that maybe you were asking for it, they said you have a reputation in uni of dating around and they decided it was your fault you got what happened to you.” Your blood boils, not because they said all that about you, but becuase you’ve heard the same crap before, with every case of someone gone missing it was always because they were in the wrong path, they were drinking or doing drugs, they were women traveling by themselves, they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, or they were simply racially profiled. It was never the agressor’s fault, it was always the victim’s responsability. And your parents had to listen to all that bullshit, only because some people are too lazy to do their job.
After making sure that both your mother and father believe you that you’re okay and very much alive in your apartment, you hang up and got out of the place. Your roomate was probably off watching some movie in her room so she didn’t hear you come out. You walk as far as you can, you’re mad, but these new abilities give you a new hope, you might be able to do something with this. Not doing so would give that uber driver and many more perverts free passage to keep abusing inoccent people like you, but it’s not like you can just walk into his house and punch him with your brand new super strenght, because to start with, you don’t even know where he lives, plus you gotta protect yourself now, because what if you go around flaunting your new powers and the people that put them there find you? They’re not the kindest people judging by their modus operandi. Would they come to find you and finish what they started?
You get back home a little before midnight, you walk in peacefully, your roomate sitting in a chair in front of the only table of the apartment.
“Where were you? You can’t keep dissapearing like that, you don’t even have a phone and I really don’t wanna go through the same shit I did two weeks ago.”
“Believe me, I share the feeling more than anyone. I was walking… thinking. You can’t tell anyone about my powers, I have to go back to my normal life with the least amount of fuss posible. I have a plan to go after that bastard driver, but he can’t know it’s me… I need a suit… and to learn how to use all I’ve got.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I don’t want anyone to live through the shit show I had to live through, because it is a fucking hell, Lexi!”
“So what? You’re gonna dress up and go after criminals just like that? You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna allow that, you can’t put yourself at risk like that! You might be very strong and you might be able to stick to walls and all that shit, but you’re not bulletproof, you might get killed. What am I gonna tell your parents? I already had to tell them you might be dead once, I don’t want to tell them for sure that you are!”
“Lexi… I’m not gonna go find him today. I have to train or something. I don’t know how to fight and I don’t know how to control everything I can do, I’ve gotta get used to my new way of perceiving the world and I need a plan. And I might not be bulletproof, but I can make a suit that is, or that at least can put up a fight.”
“(Y/N) are you even listening to yourself? You want to go find some crazy dude that raped you, tortured you, assumed you were dead and dumped you in the middle of nowhere like garbage! You really wanna go after him?
“He didn’t assume I was dead, he did kill me in a way… and I want to avenge the part of me that died tied, naked and humiliated in the dirt, because aparently the justice system in this country won’t do it, you understand? My country didn’t give one single fuck about my wellbeing, to them I deserved to end up like that for going out at night in shorts!” You don’t know how or when you started crying, but the tears felt hot against your skin with uncontrolable sobs and memories you’d rather block from your mind. Lexi, your roomate hugs you and caresses your hair until you relax a little.
“If you have to do this, I’ll help you.”
“Thank you.”
…
Peter had made some progress in his research, had a few leads to follow, this was not the only case, there were some cases going all the way to Mexico with the same characteristics, and there was a full investigation that linked that to one of the most important mafias in the world, but nobody ever knows where they’re located, they have people all over the world, Peter can’t simply drop everything and follow some mafia all around the world, he’s in his senior year of high school, he’s graduating soon, he has MIT to worry about now, plus his relationship with MJ is going steady and they’re going to prom together. He can’t just walk away from all this to put himself at risk of being killed by a mafia so big that is all over the globe, but if he tells Mr. Stark he might end up taking his suit again.
Why not tell him anyway? He can come up with a good excuse as to why or how all this information ended in his hands, he’s a teenger in the 21st century, tech and information are one touch away, right?
“KAREN call Mr. Stark, would you?”
“Calling Tony Stark.” and just a few rings later, Tony answered the phone.
“What’s up, kid?”
“Hi Mr. Stark, I wanted to tell you about some stuff that I read and that I thought you might find interesting, I think it’s got something to do with the experiments.”
“How did you find that?”
“I was doing this essay for my Spanish class and this popped up. I wanted to show it to you in case you want to go do some research to Mexico or something, because I obviously can’t go because I have… homework.” this causes Mr. Stark to giggle, but he didn’t say anything, when the call ended Peter sent all his info, but he still couldn’t stop thinking about the whole matter, how it wouldn’t take long to reach other parts of america, they might be making their way to the south if they already reached mexico, he doesn’t want them to reach any other country. No one has to die anymore.
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Taglist: @caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki
#tom holland#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland fanart#tom holland x reader#tom#holland#peter#peter parker#peterparker#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker fanart#peter parker x reader#spider-man#spiderman#spidey#spider man#spiderman homecoming#spiderverse#spider son#spideychelle#marvel#MCU#mcuedit#marvel mcu#mcufam
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Being a Loki fan: My Journey from Excitement to Despair and back to...Nope, Still Despair
I'm warning you up front that I might say something in here that offends you or that you might not agree with. If that's the case, unfollow me, block me, do whatever you have to do. But do not reblog my shit or comment to argue with me or try to change my mind about anything. I have zero fucks left for people who want to argue about Loki. Less than zero.
When I saw the first Thor movie, my immediate impression of Thor was that he was a bully, that he was a violent, impulsive, pompous ass. And that was not a surprise at all. Because Thor is a classic hero, meaning that he is intended to have a fatal flaw. I honestly thought that the purpose of the film was to show him coming to terms with this flaw (or flaws), and striving to overcome it.
So, when Thor was banished to Earth and it became clear that the plot was headed in that direction, I genuinely expected Thor’s process of overcoming his flaws to include acknowledging what a dick he had been to his brother, and making things right with him. When the movie ended with Loki trying to kill himself (yes, that's exactly what he was doing), I fully expected that the next movie would pick up where the first had left off. I thought that Loki's trauma regarding his adoption and his jealousy of Thor would be addressed.
When I watched the first Thor movie, I had never seen Tom or Chris before. But it was only Tom's performance that had resonated with me. And when the movie ended... I wasn't thinking about what a great guy Thor was, for getting his hammer back. I was trying to figure out how he got it back when he never sorted things out with his brother. All I could think about was Loki being so devastated that he would rather fall to his death than go on. I thought...no way could they just leave it there.
When Loki showed up in Avengers wielding the scepter and behaving like a man possessed, it was clear to me that Loki was not operating of his own volition and might actually be doing so under the threat of death or torture. So, I thought SURELY Thor would notice his brother was behaving strangely and address it. Surely Thor would wonder why his brother was suddenly interested in ruling a realm that he had previously given zero fucks about for the first 1000 years of his life.
Nope. Thor sold his brother out to the Avengers after 3 seconds, even making light of the fact that he was adopted (in case there was any doubt that Thor had been made aware). Thor spent the movie trying to stop Loki, made only one minor attempt to figure out why he was doing what he was doing. Loki stabbed his brother with the smallest knife he could find -which to me was an obvious show for whomever was controlling the "would be king". I was genuinely horrified to see Thor taking Loki back to Asgard with a muzzle on his face.
Fast forward to The Dark World. Loki is on trial for his "crimes" on Earth. Which I found strange because he comes from a realm that pillaged its way to the top via violence. Loki’s trial was hardly even a trial, since no real questions are asked about what he did there or why he did it. Loki's insecurity is off the charts when it comes to Odin. So, I did not expect him to admit to being tortured or mistreated or coerced. I thought it was even possible that Loki thought Odin might be impressed by what he'd done, especially if he’d been brainwashed beforehand. What I did not expect is for Odin to coldly tell his already devastated son that he was being sentenced to life in prison and should basically be grateful that he wasn't being executed, since he was never supposed to survive past infancy to begin with.
Thor broke Loki out of prison, only for his own personal gain. Not because he missed Loki or wanted connection with him. Just because Loki had something he needed. That’s it. And Loki, desperate to avenge his mother's death, allowed himself to be used. When Loki was killed, I was sad. But it was bittersweet. He’d sacrificed himself to save Thor, to avenge his mother. I thought it was a good end to his story. In fact, it probably should have ended there.
But then came the post credits scene...Loki is alive! Okay, I was admittedly glad. But my brain began exploding with ideas. I hadn’t written any fanfiction in a long time. Suddenly I was thinking about doing it again. There were so many possibilities. And if Loki was still alive, that meant it was still possible for him to reconcile with his family. Thor could still make things right with him. So could Odin. His issues could be resolved.
Sometime between Age of Ultron and Ragnarok, I decided to join the fandom online. Although I'd been a fan since the beginning, I had avoided online fandom because it had been a source of stress for me in the past. I thought perhaps things had changed (spoiler alert -they haven't) and that I could find like minded people who were also eager to see Loki vindicated, and perhaps even receive proper apologies from Thor and Odin.
This is the part that you might find offensive. This is the part that will require you to show some restraint and just press the "back" button or unfollow me, instead of feeling compelled to argue.
What I found was a hot mess of people who were either obsessed with Loki's sexuality, or whose perception of Loki was skewed and distorted.
The first wasn’t completely a shock. I've been in and out of fandom since before the internet existed. Slash is hardly new. But what shocked me was that with the wealth of issues this character had developed in canon, people's focus seemed to be how hot it would be to see him taking it up the ass. Not just taking it up the ass, but from his own brother no less. Still can't wrap my head around that one and please don't try to explain it to me. I’m not kink shaming. It just does nothing for me, personally.
I have slashed many characters. I have no problem with homosexuality. My issue with people insisting that Loki is gay is that it validates toxic masculinity. How? Because you are basically agreeing that Loki not meeting the standards for typical Asgardian masculinity means that he must be attracted to other men. Studious? Likes to read? Doesn't want to beat the shit out of people for fun? Graceful? Dresses nicely? Must be gay. Saying Loki is gay is validating the stereotypes asserted by those who insisted there was something wrong with him because he was different. The other reason it's offensive is because most people don't even slash Loki because they identify with his marginalization. They slash him because Tom Hiddleston is hot and even I can't deny that it's fun to think about hot men fucking other hot men.
I want to point out that I don't have a problem with fanfiction. People should write whatever pairings they like. Write every pairing. That's what fanfiction is for. I’ve written lots of slash fanfiction. I'm talking about the aggressive and frankly asinine insistence that Loki is some kind of gay icon, or that any future depiction of him should somehow validate that belief. This phenomenon (which seems fairly isolated to Tumblr) continues to baffle me. If Loki were gay in canon, I would have no problem with it. But the fact is, he’s not. He’s not straight either. he’s not anything. Because his sexuality isn’t relevant.
Sometimes I wonder if people really do want to see representation in canon, though, or if it’s actually the slashing of straight or ambiguous characters that turns them on. Take Versailles, for instance. There’s a delicious canon gay pairing (Prince Phillipe and Chevalier) two extremely hot men who are madly in love and who actually fuck on the show, several times. Where is the excitement about that? Nowhere. That’s where. I could barely find anyone online getting excited about it. If you haven’t watched it, by the way, you should. I did you not, never has two men kissing been so beautiful. But I digress.
Then there’s the other group of people who have reduced Loki to a hetero sex symbol. Their perception of Loki seems to include either a “50 shades of grey” Loki who wants to dominate them, or a “Disney prince” Loki who wants to marry their Mary Sue or self insert OC. And this was not a shock either, frankly. Every attractive male character has such a following in fandom. I was just surprised that someone like Loki, who has SO much substance, didn’t have a larger chunk of his fanbase dedicated to exploring something outside of banging him
Then there were all the people who were convinced that Loki was a bad person, evil, a murderer, wanted to commit genocide etc. I don’t have time to go into that here. Because I’ve written enough about that already. I was genuinely shocked that so many people had watched the same movies that I had watched, but had somehow come away from it completely missing the beauty and depth of this character.
For me, personally, the focus of my interest in a character is almost always to see their storyline properly resolved. If that storyline doesn't involve their sexuality (which I'm sorry, but Loki's doesn't) then I would consider exploration of that to be unnecessary and a waste of time. I absolutely despise is when a character has all kinds of shit going on and writers get lazy by throwing a love interest at them. I'm pretty methodical in that regard.
So, I entered the fandom before Ragnarok, and amidst the anticipation of Ragnarok. I was very excited to see the film. My expectation was very high that it would include some kind of resolution of Loki’s issues with Thor and Odin. Needless to say, I was super disappointed. About the only thing in that movie that was satisfying was its use of Led Zeppelin. I’m a big Zeppelin fan.
And thankfully, I did manage to encounter a small group of like minded fans who also wanted to see Loki’s storyline resolved.
As I coped with my Ragnarok disappointment, I told myself that hey...there’s another movie left with Loki in it, and it’s not being directed by the same guy who directed Ragnarok. Maybe. JUST maybe it will include some kind of resolution for Loki. And it didn’t, of course. It just murdered him brutally in the first five minutes. Because turning him into a rodeo clown in Ragnarok apparently wasn’t enough.
All I wanted was to see someone admit that Loki got a raw deal. I wanted to see someone ON SCREEN say “yeah, you know what? That sucks. I’m sorry you were adopted and then lied to about it. I’m sorry you grew up feeling like less than your brother. I’m sorry you felt misunderstood. You deserve to be loved. Everyone deserves to be loved.”
And I need to just let go of that. Because it’s not going to happen, folks. The MCU is a profit seeking entity. They want to sell tickets and merchandise. They don’t care how Loki feels, or how Tom feels about Loki. They care what Tom can do with Loki to help them rake in the big bucks. That’s it. It doesn’t have to make sense, or be ethical, or be consistent with canon. It just needs to sell tickets and merchandise. That’s it.
And I need to find a way to just not care about this anymore. Because I’ve devoted far too much time and energy to this fictional character already. I’m going to wrap up my current Loki WIP, maybe polish up the one-shots I have sitting in the queue and post them, and exit stage left.
This is one last reminder NOT to reblog this or comment on it, just to argue with me or try to change my mind.
#Fuck you MCU#Loki deserves better#Loki deserved better#just finish this already so I can stop thinking about it#Loki meta#gagnarok#juliabohemian#please unfollow me if any of this offends you#op#lokimeta
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Nova 5/4: Are You Loved?
The feeling of wanting to be his strength leads her to Sumire’s room…
~*Scene: Sumire’s Room*~
Sumire: I see, so you heard about that from Nova?
Sumire: It’s true that Nova’s parents are asleep because of the Tarocco’s power
>Are Nova’s parents bad people…
>Does Nova still hate his parents?
Sumire: That, I can’t say
Sumire: I don’t think there are any parents who don’t love their children
Sumire: No matter how they turn out…right?
Sumire: I wonder. That’s something only he would know
Sumire: I might be something that even he doesn’t know
Sumire: Nova is supposed to come here today
Sumire: I’ll try talking to him about it too
Felicita: Okay
~*Scene: Sumire's Room*~
Sumire: Nova, welcome
Nova: Hello, Mama
Sumire: I’ll make some tea, so have a seat
Nova: Yes
Sumire: Nova, how is Felicita doing?
Nova: While working with both the Swords and Chalices…
Nova: Sometimes she tries to act without thinking, but I believe that she’s doing well
Nova: If the townspeople are having troubles, she will listen to them and then act accordingly
Sumire: That must be because of your influence. You’re kind, so you can’t ignore people who are in trouble
Sumire: Not even one kitten
Nova: I’m not really that kind
Sumire: You don’t need to be embarrassed, you really are cute, Nova
(*blush) Nova: Mama, please don’t tease me
Sumire: *laugh*
~*Scene: Fiore Street*~
Luca: What is it, Ojou-sama?
❤≪Luca≫ Seems concerned
Daily: Alleviating Ojou-sama’s worries is also my job
Arcana: The Swords allowed me to accompany her today
???: I can’t see very well here
Luca: You’re spaced out…are you not feeling well?
>…Can I leave this to you, Luca?
>…I’m not the one who isn’t feeling well
Luca: If you’re worried about something, then you can let me take care of things here
Luca: Are you worrying about something?
Luca: …It will be time for a break soon
Luca: There shouldn’t be a problem with taking it a bit early
❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Nova≫ Seems as usual
Pain: Not knowing is better for her…
Daily: I can’t work like this
Person: ???
Pain: It’s not like…I can’t guess…
Daily: I can’t work like this
Person: ???
Luca: You’ve been busy with work for the Chalices and the Swords these past few days
Luca: How about taking a bit of a breather?
Felicita: Okay
~*Scene: Hallway*~
Sumire: Then Nova, how are you doing?
~*Scene: Sumire’s Room*~
Sumire: Work with the Chalices has been busy lately, right?
❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned
Daily: Calm down
Pain: ???
???: I can’t see very well here
Sumire: Felicita is worried too
Nova: Fel is…
❤≪Nova≫ She…
Person: Is this about my parents…
Pain: ???
??: I can’t see very well here
Sumire: It looks like something happened then…
Nova: …Yes, I actually talked to Fel about the reason why my parents are asleep
Sumire: I see, so it’s about your parents
Nova: I did think that it was something I would need to tell Fel about eventually but
Nova: I haven’t even been able to come to terms with it myself and ended up taking it out on her
Nova: I regret that. I guess I’m still immature
Sumire: Haven’t you thought about waking up your parents?
Nova: …
Nova: …Actually, I have looked for a way
Nova: But, I couldn’t find one
Sumire: I see…
Nova: But, there is a part of me that’s relieved
Nova: While I do want to wake them up, I’m also scared of doing so
Nova: It’s already been seven years, but maybe nothing has changed about me since then
Sumire: So, have you discussed this with Felicita properly?
Sumire: I’m sure that she’ll be of great help to you
Nova: …Fel was raised with love from you and Papa
Nova: She can’t understand how I feel, and I don’t mind that she won’t
❤≪Nova≫ Seems to be hiding something
Pain: Of course she wouldn’t…
Person: My parents aren’t like Papa and Mama…
???: I can’t see very well here
(*bam) Felicita: !
Nova: Did you hear what we were talking about?
❤≪Nova≫ Seems nervous
Daily: When did she…
Pain: I don’t want her to worry
Link: ???
>I want you to tell me properly
(+10 Amore)
>Don’t decide that on your own
(No Amore)
>I won’t understand if you don’t tell me
(+20 Amore)
Nova: And then what would you do?
Nova: It’s none of your business
Nova: What? I just don’t want you to…
Nova: Ne, nevermind
Nova: Even if I tell you nothing will change
Nova: And I don’t need you to understand me
❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Nova≫ Can't seem to handle it
Person: So she overheard what we were saying
Pain: I don’t want to trouble those around me anymore
Link: ???
Person: I don’t want to worry her
Pain: So she overheard what we were saying
Link: ???
Link: Understanding…huh
Pain: So she overheard what we were saying
Person: I don’t want to worry her
Sumire: That’s enough. You need to calm down
Sumire: Right now, even though you are worrying about each other, you are hurting each other as well
Sumire: You two need to try talking it out
~*Scene: Courtyard*~
Nova: She said to talk it out but…, where are we supposed to start?
>The way to wake up your parents
(+20 Amore)
>About Jolly
(No Amore)
>Why didn’t you talk to me about this?
(-10 Amore)
Nova: I think I told you already. I looked for a way to wake up my parents
Nova: But, there wasn’t anything written about it anywhere
Nova: I was disappointed but also relieved
Nova: I thought that I wanted to wake them up, but a part of me didn’t want to
Nova: I thought I’d overcome it, but I’m still scared
Nova: Jolly will use anything if it’s for his research
Nova: He even thinks of people as nothing but research subjects
Nova: I don’t know what research he has done but
Nova: Examining my parents must have been a part of his research
Nova: And he hasn’t been cleared of suspicion for misappropriating his “Tarocco research funds”
Nova: I’d prefer if we were wrong but…it needs to be cleared up quickly
Nova: Our circumstances are too different
Nova: You were raised with love by Mama and Papa
Nova: I was treated as a tool for gaining success by my parents. It’s a big difference
Nova: The environments we were raised in and our ways of thinking are different. Even if we talked, we wouldn’t understand each other
Nova: It’s my problem
Nova: And with the Arcana Duello approaching
Nova: You shouldn’t have the time to worry about this
❤≪Nova≫ Seems as usual ❤≪Nova≫ Seems as usual ❤≪Nova≫ Seems as usual
Pain: I’ll take responsibility for what I’ve done…
Person: I can’t believe she’d say that
Link: ???
Person: Jolly is suspicious
Arcana: There are many mysteries about the Tarocco
Pain: ???
Person: I can’t believe she’d say that…
Pain: I’ll take responsibility for what I’ve done…
Arcana: ???
❤≪Nova≫ Seems to want to cry
Link: I want her to listen
Person: I wonder what they’re think of while they’re asleep…
Pain: I’ll take responsibility for what I’ve done…
Nova: I appreciate that you care about me
❤≪Nova≫ Seems to be hiding something
Arcana: For now, that’s enough
Person: A way to wake up my parents…
Link: ???
Nova: But, you have your own things you should be doing. So don’t worry about me
>I want to help you
(No Amore)
>There has to be a way
(+10 Amore)
>It’s just what I want to do
(+20 Amore)
Nova: I guess if we look together we might find a way
Nova: Has to, huh. I guess…there might be
Nova: Even if you do, you won’t gain anything
❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned
Person: A way to wake up my parents…
Link: I have no reason to refuse her cooperation
Pleasure: ???
Person: A way to wake up my parents…
Pleasure: It’s not completely impossible yet
Love: ???
Pleasure: It’s not…pity?
Link: It’s her own will…
Person: A way to wake up my parents…
>Let’s look together
(+20 Amore)
>It’ll be alright
(+10 Amore)
>You’re being honest
(+10 Amore)
Nova: Wh, what are you saying! You’d just get in my way…
Nova: …No, if you say you’re going to help, then I’m thankful
Nova: If we look together instead of just me alone, we might be able to find a way
Nova: …You’re so meddlesome
(Skip the next dialogue choice box)
Nova: Seriously, where does that baseless confidence come from?
Nova: If you say so, then there might be. I can believe that now
(Skip the next dialogue choice box)
Nova: Why are you looking at me like that
Nova: I can thank people honestly sometimes
Nova: You don’t need to be so surprised about it
❤≪Nova≫ Seems nervous ❤≪Nova≫ Seems as usual ❤≪Nova≫ Seems nervous
Person: I guess I can rely on her
Love: If she’s serious, then I’m glad…
Link: Together…
Pleasure: It’s baseless but comforting
Link: I guess I can rely on her
Person: ???
Daily: I’m just being truthful
Link: ��Don’t say it again
Pleasure: ???
>I’ll help you
>You’re kind, Nova
Nova: I have no reason to refuse, but are okay with it?
Nova: Don’t be stupid, I’m not really kind
Nova: What are you even saying, seriously…
❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned
Person: I will wake up my parents
Link: Thank you
Pleasure: It’s embarrassing!
Love: I’m just being truthful!
Nova: Right. Instead of worrying about whether to wake up my parents or not, looking for a way to wake them up comes first
❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned
Link: Even though she’s also worrying about something
Pleasure: Thanks…
???: I can’t see very well here
Nova: You really are meddlesome
Nova: You’re worrying about something else too, right? Like that thing with Liberta?
Felicita: ?
Nova: How did I know? That’s simple
Nova: I can tell just by looking at that idiot
Nova: If you’re worried about Liberta, then I’ll come with you
>Let’s wait a little longer
>I’ll go myself
Nova: Yeah, you’re right. It looks like he’s thinking about a lot too. I guess we’ll leave him be for a little longer
Nova: If I go, he’ll probably just be stubborn and not come out
Nova: Yeah. If you talk to him, I think it’s more likely that he’d be able to accept it
❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned
Person: Everyone has their own troubles…
Link: I’ll definitely wake up my parents
Daily: I’ll focus on my own work
Person: His attitude is different…
Daily: I’ll focus on my own work
Link: I’ll definitely wake up my parents
Nova: Sorry, it wasn’t something I should have butt in to
Nova: I’ll leave Liberta to you
>Do you get along with Liberta?
>Are you worried about Liberta?
Nova: We’re not talking about whether we get along!
Nova: I’m saying we should be more aware of it as members of the Family
Nova: That idiot is still a member of the Family. I at least worry about him
❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned ❤≪Nova≫ Seems concerned
Person: You probably know that best
Daily: I’ll focus on my own work
Daily: I’ll focus on my own work
Person: Everyone has worries and troubles
Nova: After talking to you, I feel at least a little more clarity now
❤≪Nova≫ Seems as usual
Daily: I’ll decide the patrol route for tomorrow
Arcana: He’s part of the Family, so he’s family
Nova: If anything happens, I’ll help you too
Felicita: Okay
~*Scene: Mondo’s Office*~
Mondo: Nova said that?
Mondo: I see, so he’s going to wake up my brother and his wife
Sumire: Yes, Nova is desperate to overcome his past
Sumire: And, Felicita too
Sumire: By joining the Family and living on this island
Sumire: She’s making connections with lots of people
Sumire: Those kids are growing every day
Mondo: Yes, they are
Mondo: I also looked for a way to wake up my brother and his wife, but I couldn’t find one
Mondo: Sumire, can you get any information from the Tarocco?
Sumire: The Tarocco is very fickle
Sumire: It won’t always tell you what you want
Mondo: I see…
(*knock knock)
Mondo: Who is it? Come in
Sumire: Jolly…
Mondo: So it’s you, Jolly. What is it?
Jolly: *chuckle*, I was doing research and it seems like I have an interesting experiment so I came to make a report
~*End of Scene*~
You have one Heart Voice. It can be heard within SPECIAL
(Continue to Nova May 5)
(Back to Directory)
#nova#arcana famiglia#la storia della arcana famiglia#may 4#5/4#solar translations#psp game#translation#releases#wait nova being annoyed means he's happy????#ok I think I get it now
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The Road Ahead of Us - Izuocha Fanfiction
I posted the link of this fic earlier for Izuochaweek. But thought I'd post the text post here as well. It was written for day 3 - Dungeons and Dragons! The link was already reblogged by @izuochaweek so I haven't tagged it again.
Hope you enjoy it!
Her hands are not as soft as they look.
He deduces, seeing her grip the staff, both the source and application of her power, with strength enough to turn her knuckles white. Her eyes glow with fierce, familiar determination, the one he has come to see a number of times in their journey together. Her clothes flutter and to any ordinary observer, the cause would look wind but from this close, Izuku is actually feeling the raw power emanating from her. Her lips are pressed into a thin line, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed in concentration.
He watches in awe as a mass of pink and white nothingness swirls around her, becoming thicker and thicker, slowly with each passing second. It steadily comes together, concentrating at a single point on the top of the magic staff, the white hot energy slowly shaping itself like an orb of power.
She takes a deep breath, her eyes zeroing on the large rock in front of them and yells out a loud “Release!”
The orb of white and pink speeds towards the stagnant rock, striking it with a loud boom and just like that, it shatters. Into pieces both small and large. But nothing similar to it's former massive form.
They blink, stunned at the immense display of power. She is panting, still gripping the staff tightly to her chest. But then turns to them, her eyes wide and expectant.
“I did it!” She screams, her face lighting up with a broad, wide smile that he's deeply come to adore.
Iida is the first one to return her enthusiasm with his own, loudly clapping and appreciating her efforts with a large smile. His blue eyes displaying the fondness and pride he holds for the girl in front of him.
“Yes,Uraraka! It was incredible!”
He tells her, the moonlight glinting off his glass but every word is truer than the last one.
Shouto stands there with a small smile and when she looks at him, he gives her a nod of acknowledgement. He is normally silent but his differently coloured eyes always express what he hides behind that impassive demeanor. And she understands that the gesture is nothing if not sincere.
She accepts it gratefully and then finally she turns to him, eager for his input regarding the feat she just performed and he steps forward, a large grin curling upon his lips in response to hers. There is a lot he wants to say, a lot he wants her to know but it doesn't matter at the moment. She's standing there, her excitement tightly coiled to hear his words and who is he to disappoint her.
“You were amazing.”
Suddenly she's smiling even more brightly than the stars above, a pink hue making her naturally pink cheeks appear even pinker. She is so beautiful beneath the night sky that the embers of the fire burning beside them look dull. As if they are shying away for her radiance and Izuku is completely aware of how his heart clenches at the sight of her unabashed smile.
…
It's late at night and the wind is chilling. He scoots closer to the fire in an effort to warm himself up. Well, today was his shift for the night watch. That's the reason he is sitting here, in cold, but he finds that he doesn't mind. His eyes are focused on any unnatural movements of the bushes surrounding them and his ears are trained on any similarly disturbing sound, his sword resting beside him.
Of all the things, he never expects something warm and soft to be draped over his shoulders. He almost squeaks when Ochako settles beside him, giving him a smile in greeting and extends her hands, palms completely out stretched to feel for the heat.
“It's cold here.”
“Yeah. It is.” He nods as he notices her without a blanket and then her hands return back to her side.
“Why are you out here though?” He asks, a little worried.
“Couldn't sleep.” Her voice is nonchalant but his eyes stray down to the way her hands fisted her skirt.
“Any specific reason?” he questions again, wanting her to bring out the issue that has been troubling her.
“Nope.” she denies but her eyes waver slightly and he knows she'll come out with it, now or later. It's fine for him though. As long as she can speak out her doubts.
They go silent once again, even though his mind is running the possibilities of her worries, her presence here eases him physically. His shoulders loose tension and his breathing goes calm. The way her eyes look up at sky, it seems to him that she is searching for something, an answer, a person? Or a destination perhaps? He's not sure.
He doesn't realise that in his quest to find the source that is making her anxious, he has been staring at her for a long while. He blinks when her hand waves in front of his face.
“Deku? Deku?”
“S-sorry! I was distracted.” He lets out an undignified yelp and she giggles, the sound of her laughter was soothing enough to stop his stammering.
“I can see that!”
He gives her a smile before they both settle down, leaning into the log resting behind them, reveling in the quietness of the surroundings and the warmth of each other.
As the cold increases Izuku could not help but notice the way how her body would shiver occasionally when a strong breeze would flow. And how pink and frosty her cheeks and nose looked.
“Come closer.”
He says even before he realises that he has. When she stares at him with wide, round eyes, the implications of his recklessly thrown words sink into him. And instantly, his freckled cheeks burn pink.
“Y-you looked c-cold!”
He offered a loud explanation half expecting her to laugh at him but rather she turns her head to the other side, looking a little embarrassed and a soft “Ohh.” tumbles out of her mouth.
And without a word, she scoots closer to him, letting him envelope her in the blanket as well. The cozy warmth inside, immediately relaxes her. Though the sides of their bodies pressing against each other is an entirely different experience.
They neither dare to break the silence and nor do they look at each other. The forest floor and the dancing fires seemed more interesting to the two of them at the moment. But they don't make any effort to maintain distance. There is something between them - tentative but pleasant.
“Do you-” she starts, but bites her lip as if contemplating her words, after a second, decides to continue, “Do you think that we are doing the right thing? Is it the right path?”
As easy the answer was, he couldn't almost believe how hard it was to word it out and string them into comprehensible sentences. So he takes his time, carefully plucking words out from his vocabulary, wanting to express himself in the best possible way to quell her doubts.
“I don't know.”
Wow. What a way to start.
“Look-I mean, Uraraka-”
Smooth, Izuku, smooth.
“Well, I want to say that we don't know, about what the future has got in store for us. We don't know if we're doing the right thing even but what I know is this - we'll do whatever it takes to save everyone. If a battle is to come between the forces of the light and the dark then we need to recruit as many as we can, to support our cause. To stop them from taking innocent lives. We have nothing to guide us, except for those ‘dreams’ I have. Heck, we don't even know if those 'dreams’ I keep having are anything to believe.”
But as his eyes turn to her, Ochako could see that blazing determination burning in all glory.
“But they are real, Uraraka. They are real. All Might is real. I know it's hard to believe but it's the truth. We need to go forward on this path. We need more comrades. We need to recruit capable warriors, mages anything, anyone who'd be willing to support us in this quest.”
Izuku's fiery passion makes a smile grace Ochako's lips. He's always been like this. So determined, so eager to help and save people.
“Even a dragon?”
“Um, yes, even a dragon.”
They suddenly burst out laughing, their voices crinkling together in a pleasant sound, warming everything around in the vicinity.
When the morning finally rolls into existence, Shouto comes out of the tent to a scene of both Izuku and Ochako curled up into each other, huddled up in blanket. Izuku's barely awake but the scene is so precious that Shouto simply decides not to disturb it.
…
“So, the dragon's lair is in that direction? Are you sure sir?”
“Yes.” The frail man's voice wavered under the pressure of old age but the conviction shining in his wise old eyes made Izuku nod and smile then thank him.
As he pointed the direction to his group, ready to hike the mountain as the old man spoke again.
“Are you sure you want to find the dragon, my boy?”
Even though the question was supposed to sound like a warning, there was something knowing swimming in the smile of the old guy.
“Yes.” Izuku answered, unflinching and daring.
“Then it's fine. The dragon is not evil as the people make him sound. He's just a little eager kid wanting to make some friends and do manly things. So try not be afraid of him, okay? You'll hurt his feelings. Oh-by the way, I should let you know! He has a friend now! A very powerful but violent warrior with a foul mouth who's quite protective of him. I warn you, my boy, he's more trouble than the dragon actually.”
Izuku stood there, with his jaw hanging open to the ground, huge round eyes unblinking, too stunned to react.
“W-wh-what?!”
Before he let out that shriek, the man was already on his merry way, waving to them and whistling to the wind.
…
Ochako gulps. The cave in front of them was large, frighteningly large. Okay, large enough to at least contain ten dragons.
Her hands are clammy, and her heart is pounding in her ears. She bites her lower lip in anticipation and dread. Her feet are cold, despite the fact that she is wearing her boots. Suddenly a wheezing sound echoes throughout the cave and Ochako jumps up in air a few feet, wonders if she should use her staff and simply float away. She is shivering, the fear gripping her insides tightly leaves a bitter taste in mouth.
Her eyes dart to her side to see her comrades and Shouto looks a little unnerved at the sight of the massive cave and the previously heard loud sound because his eyes are wide, and his forehead is collecting beads of sweat and his hand is hovering just above the hilt of his sword. Though she cannot see Iida, she knows he is as shaken up as they are.
Okay, Ochako, calm down. Calm down. You just have to go inside this cave - the dragon's lair, and convince the dragon to join our team, easy right? Right? Right?
She almost squeaks when the sensation of a hand brushing against her startles her. Her gaze flicks towards Izuku, he is smiling at her, a wide smile, a smile that seems to say 'You don't have to worry, I'm here now.’ She is astounded at the kind of effect he has on her because she finds herself smiling back at him, her shoulders slowly loosing the tension and her breath turning even.
She knows, he is as scared as the rest of them are. But he is strong enough to hide that fear behind his smile, his emerald eyes shining with warmth that never fails to convince people that everything will be alright. It is a powerful sensation. A faith that all of them depend upon.
Her heart tingles at the final smile he gives her before turning her head back on the target in front of them. His eyes narrow and the fire burning in them is daring. His hand is gripping his legendary sword in a fierce grip, ready for action.
“Everyone” his bold words prompt them to look at him, “-let's do this, together!”
Both Iida and Shouto return the gesture with a smile of their own - courageous and hopeful. Looking forward towards the future they want to capture. The future that they all want to protect.
Ochako understands. As long as they are together, nothing is going to stop them. They can overcome all the obstacles on their path, be it a dragon to befriend or to fight a dark guild wanting to take over the country. They might not know the path they are moving on, they are not aware of the events and hell they might have to face in the future.
But it's fine, as long as they have their dreams to guide them and each other to live for.
Here, I'd love to know your thoughts about this if you've not read it before!
#izuocha#izuocha fanfiction#izuku x ochako#midoriya izuku#uraraka ochako#bnha#dekuvity#dekuraka#boku no hero academia
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Epiphany 結 Theory
overall: so finally, the last intro of the Love Yourself series. will we finally have the answers that we are looking for?
⇝ theory masterlist
listen to Epiphany 結
theory: so it has been noted already that Seokjin would be the one doing this intro considering that the other vocal line members have already done theirs with the most recent one being Taehyung’s Singularity.
bighit then decides to drop Epiphany on 9 August with a video that’s 4:22 long. in all honesty, i actually thought we would have the full song but of course, knowing bighit would mean that there’s an underlying story with it too ( since Lumpens is the one directing this again ).
looking at the video, it’s actually pretty simple in terms that only 2 sets are used, mainly the small house/apartment fitted with a living room, a small closet, a bathroom, windows and a door and also the scene where Seokjin leaves the house only to be drenched in the rain.
but moving on, the colour scheme here is very neutral, mostly fixed with monochrome and the blue-yellow gradient. one would say this is kinda similar to the video of Serendipity and Euphoria; even certain scenes from Singularity, Intro: HYYH if you observe closely. ( read my whole yellow colour theme theory which was from the Euphoria era )
Intro: 花樣年華
Serendipity
Euphoria
Singularity
Fake Love
Epiphany
also, one would be able to see that the latest HYYH: the Notes, they are also in the blue-yellow colour scheme.
yet, towards the ending, the last scene caught me off guard and emotional. because it was none other than the HYYH: the Prologue scene - the scene of all 7 of them by the sea at the beach.
moving on, notice how often the scenes in Epiphany are in monochrome but then at 0:57, Seokjin reads a book - could it possibly be the notebook that he picked up based from the notes?
also, notice the calla lilies which are someone similar to those in the highlight reel.
moving on, i realised that in some of the scenes, it shows there are 2 Seokjins etc, maybe because the other one existed since he failed to correct his mistakes as based on the HYYH: the Notes ( 180807 ).
Seokjin
3 August YEAR 22
I entered the storage classroom after opening the door of it. In the middle of one summer night, the yet to be hot air was mixed with mold and dust. In a moment, many scenes flashed across my mind. The shining heels of the principal’s, Namjoon’s expression as he stood outside, the last day that I turned around leaving Hoseok and went home alone. Suddenly, my head hurts and I had chills. A complicated emotion came over to me like pain, one that could be of annoyance and one that could be of fear. The obvious signal could be felt with my whole body, my whole heart. I had to get out of here.
Taehyung grabbed my arm, after reading my expression. “Hyung, try a little bit more. Just try to remember what happened here.” I shook off Taehyung’s hand and went in. With the heat wave, it has been a few hours that has passed. I was exhausted. The others looked at me with expressions that explained that they didn’t know what to say. Memory. The memory of when Taehyung spoke was meaningless to me. Maybe, that was what I did, maybe I could have done that, our story when we were together. That could have happened. That was what I hoped would have happened. Yet, this wasn’t the convicted memory. This wasn’t the experienced that I grasped. It has to be something that takes root deep down in your heart, your head and deep down in your soul. But at the place that I was at, everywhere was a bad memory. I was in pain, I wanted to run away.
A quarrel arose between me wanting to leave and Taehyung blocking my path. But we were both tired. Our attempts to hit or dodge or push felt tiring and heavy, much like a warm, viscous liquid. In a flash, Taehyung and my feet were tangled. I thought I had hit the wall, in the next moment, I staggered and was not thinking straight.
At first, there was no way I would have known what happened. Because of the thick dust, I had to close my eyes and I had a hard time breathing. Since I couldn’t breathe properly, I coughed a lot. “Are you okay?” Someone asked as I realized that I was on the floor. As I got up, I realized that what I saw as a wall was crumnling down. Beyond the wall, there was a wide space. For a short while, there was no movement. “Oh my god. How much time have we spent in this place?” Someone said. No one would have imagined that there was such a place beyond this wall. However, what is that over there? As the dust begun to settle down, my eyes grazed across a cabinet that was standing in the middle of the wide space.
Namjoon opened the door of the cabinet. I took a step closer. Inside, there was a notebook placed inside. Namjoon picked it up and turned the first page of it. In that moment, everyone stopped breathing. It was obvious that the notebook had been left behind for such a long time, yet on the first page was a name that I couldn’t even imagine. It was my father’s name. I snatched the book as Namjoon tried to turn another page. Though he was shocked, I couldn’t care. I went to the desk. I turned the pages of the notebook carefully as though they would crumble.
It was a diary of my father who handwrote everyday what he did experienced together with his friends when he was a high school student. There were stories everyday. Sometimes it skipped a month, other pages were unreadable because of the bloodstains. But still I knew that he went through the same things that I did. He made mistakes and blunders just like me, and kept on running and running to make up for them.
My father’s notebook recorded his own mistakes. In the end, he gave up and failed. He had forgotten, turned away and avoided them. He threw away his friends. On the last page of the notebook, there was nothing but black ink stains. The stains had bled through the pages. The next page and on the next page, the next page until the last page, those pages showed my father’s failures.
Many hours have passed and every angle was hazy. At the window with the cool breeze, I could see the darkest time of the day, the time before the sun rises. Namjoon and the other younger ones were asleep at where they sat down. I lifted my head and looked at the wall. This was where my father had personally written his name on. On top, there was a sentence written there. “This is where everything has started.”
The moment I closed the notebook, I felt as though something was starting from my fingertips all the way to arm. I saw faint letters appearing on the smeared ink stains. From behind the window, I could feel an ominous energy. It seemed that the sun would rise soon. Yet, it wasn’t the end of the night. It was the time where it’s not night and it’s not yet dawn. It was like a hint of darkness yet of a grayish light, letters appeared between the black lines.
The notebook held more memories than recorded. Above the letters, between the margins and the empty spaces were those memories that my father wanted to forget, things he didn’t want to remember but were left behind. The indentations of writing once the colour faded remained started to whirl underneath my fingertips were his struggles and fears, despair that he couldn’t overcome and his weak hopes. My father’s wounded soul remains here, right in this note.
As I closed the notebook, tears streamed down my eyes. I sat down there for a while and turned my head to my sleeping friends. One by one, I threw them away. Anyway, I don’t know when we would even return here. Here is our beginnings, I knew that when we are together, it is meaningful and when are together, we can smile happily, My first mistake, one that I never acknowledged by my mouth would remain as an open wound.
I thought that this isn’t just a coincidence. In the end, maybe I had to come to this place. And so, in the meantime, only then would I be able to find the meaning behind my mistakes, the pain and anxiety that we suffered as a result. For the first time, I was able to take a first step to find the map of my soul.
so it’s as if he is trying again and again to correct his mistakes.
only did the colours begin to seep in to a light grey blue similar to that of Serendipity.
when Seokjin seems to be getting ready to step out, as if to say as if he is getting ready to fix his mistakes and overcome his blunders.
here from 1:15 onwards to the time he steps out of the house, he is doing meagre things, like getting ready etc.
but look how as when he stepped out of the house, he is drenched from head to toe, but there is the scene of like some sort of reversal rain, just like Jimin’s one in Lie.
also, it’s as if Seokjin is doing all of the boys’ actions in this Epiphany video.
Seokjin staring in front of the mirror just like Hoseok ( from I Need U ) and Namjoon ( from Fake Love and in Reflection ).
this could be seen with HYYH: Notes ( O Version Her )
Hoseok
25 February YEAR 21
I danced without taking my eyes off my reflection in the mirror. The me in the mirror had his feet off the ground, lifted up and was free from the standards and looks of the world. My body moved in sync with the music, there was nothing important, nothing that made my heart beat in my chest.
The first time that I danced was when I was 12. It must have been a talent show incident. My friends were pulled onto stage. I could still remember that day when I heard the applause and cheers of joy, I have never felt so confident. Then again, that was when I moved my body to the music and had fun doing it. I would only learn much later that the joy was not a joy that came from the applause but from within me.
The me outside the mirror is weighed down by many things. The feet that have leave the ground for a seconds, when I hate, I laugh and when I cry, I smile. There was no need for me to take my medicine since I could collapse anywhere. And so, when I dance, I try not to take my eyes off the mirror. The moment I can be my truest self. The moment where I could throw away everything and I could fly, the moment where I believe I could be happy. I protect these moments.
Seokjin crouching down and cradling himself at the corner just like Taehyung. ( from Stigma )
Seokjin wiping his face just like Yoongi. ( from First Love VCR )
see how it matches with these HYYH notes, O version ( Tear )
Yoongi
19 September YEAR 16
The fire burned crimson red. The house that I had been living since this morning was engulfed in flames. The people I knew were running and screaming. The people in the neighbourhood walked with quick steps. I couldn’t hear the entrance of the fire truck into the road. I just stopped and stood there dumbfounded.
It was the end of summer. Autumn was about to start. The sky was blue and the air was dry. I couldn’t even think, feel or do. Yet, I could only reflect back to “ah, Mom”. The next moment, the house collapsed with a loud sound. It was engulfed in flames – no, the house that became the flames, the roof, the piallrs and even my room crumbled like a house of sand. I stood there watching it dumbfoundedly.
Someone pushed past me. I could hear the fire truck. Another person grabbed me and asked me what happened. He even looked me in the eyes while asking yet I couldn’t hear anything. “Who is inside?” I looked at the person confused. “Is your mom inside?” The person shook my shoulders. I didn’t know what to answer. “No, there isn’t anyone inside.”
“What do you mean?”, the neighbourhood old lady said. “Your mother? Where did she go?” “There isn’t anyone.” Even I didn’t know what I was saying. Someone pushed past me again.
Seokjin in the rain; drenched from head to toe and reversal rain just like Jimin. ( from Lie )
it coincides with the HYYH notes ( O Version; Tear )
Jimin
6 April YEAR 11
I stood alone at the flower arboretum. Though the weather was bit cold, I felt great. My mother and father were busy on picnic day. At first, I was a disappointed. But at the flower drawing contest, I was praised by my friend’s mother who said “Wow, Jimin is so mature.” From then on, I started to feel that I was cool.
“Jimin-ah, wait here. Teacher will come soon. When the picnic day ended, my teacher asked me this but I didn’t wait. I walked with confidence alone. With both hands, I held onto the straps of my backpack and walked with dignity. It seemed as though others were looking at me, and so I spread my shoulders wider. Rain began to pour then. My friends and their mothers left, no one was looking for me and my legs began to hurt. I covered my head with the backpack and crouched underneath a tree. The rain began to pour even more, yet no one was passing by. Eventually, I started to run in the rain. I couldn’t see any houses or stores. In the end, I ended up at the back gate of the flower arboretum. The side door was open and I could see a storage room of some sort through it.
Seokjin in the domesticated setting of an apartment/room just like Jungkook and the rain inside. ( from Begin )
interesting how it’s combining with most of the boys’ short films. not to mention how they coincide with the HYYH: the Notes.
Seokjin is also seen to have closed the curtains instead of opening them. see, throughout the series, it has been a usual scene to have Seokjin opening curtains yet not so much of closing them.
Seokjin opens the curtains: I Need U, Awake, Euphoria
Seokjin draws the curtains: Fake Love ( Ext ), Epiphany
yet interesting, i found out this meaning.
draw the curtain on = To cease doing something; to bring something to an end. ( Reference )
so every time Seokjin draws the curtains, he wishes to stop doing it; possibly stopping himself from correcting his mistakes and maybe in the end, become a failure like his father.
but also, i found about this.
open the curtain = realising or ‘seeing’ something previously hidden, secret or unrealised. It can also mean removing barriers or limiting factors in yourself.
draw the curtain = night, privacy or blindness to something. While drawing a curtain can, as in the theatre, suggest the end of something, privacy or drawing a veil of secrecy or forgetfulness over something.
( Reference )
or
To dream of shutting the curtains represents you attempt to conceal something or keep a secret. Your repression of ideas or information. You are concealing some personal matter or something about yourself.
To dream that you are opening the curtains, represents your readiness to reveal something hidden about yourself. Revealing the truth or a secret. No longer feeling the need to repress ideas or information.
( Reference )
so i guess when Seokjin opens the curtains, he is ready to reveal his secret but when he closes it, he chooses to repress it. the same secret that is brought up at the end of Euphoria when the screen showed “Hyung, is that everything? Isn’t there anything else that you’re hiding?”
but anyway, notice how before every time Seokjin goes out of the house/apartment, he changes what he does slightly, instead of picking up the book and reading it in the earlier scenes but by 3:29 instead, he closed the windows before standing up to change clothes etc. and also towards the end of the video at 3:57 - before Seokjin leaves the place, he brings the book out.
i have a feeling that the book is Seokjin’s father’s notebook; possibly the same one from the highlight reel in which the girl dropped it here.
this would then bring us back to the whole theory of going back into time for Seokjin to correct his mistakes.
yet, towards the end, there are some lines on the screen.
based on @/doolsetbangtan translations on Twitter:
나 자신을 찾는 여정의 끝에 다다른 건 다시 제자리 결국 찾아야 하는 것은 모든 것의 시작이자 이정표인 영혼의 지도 누구에게나 있지만 아무나 찾을 수 없는 그것을, 나는 지금부터 찾아보려 한다
=
At the end of the journey to find myself, I reach the initial spot. What I really need to find is the map of my soul that is the beginning of everything, the signpost. The thing anyone possesses but not anyone can find - I will try to find it from now
here, Seokjin wishes to find himself actually; so that he would love himself. maybe all those times he goes back to correct his mistakes and saving the boys, he also wants to save himself; he wants to find himself.
yet, notice how the colour changes when the boys are together. yet it is monochrome when Seokjin is alone. as if to say that when they are together, the boys bring colour in his life.
also, note how that the screen kinda glitched when the boys are together, which you can refer to my previous theory ( Wonder: Euphoria ) about the glitching; as if from Seokjin’s camcorder.
perhaps only when he found himself, could he let the boys into his life.
[Photo Source] Bighit Entertainment
Credits: maxine ☕️ DO NOT REPOST ©
#personal#btsprotectnet#bangtanbuds#bangtan#bts#seokjin#jin#epiphany#love yourself#namjoon#rm#rapmonster#yoongi#suga#bts theory#bangtan theory#hoseok#hobi#jhope#jimin#chimchim#mochi#taehyung#v#jungkook#kookie#nochu#btstheory#bangtantheory
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Writing Influences Tag Game
Ok, so I’ve been tagged in a ton of writing tag games lately, it’s hard to keep up, but this one’s a good one! I was tagged by @infinitelyblankpage (at my main blog) for this goodie!
Rules: Give a short summary of your WIP, name 7 books, TV Shows, games, movies, comics, etc. that have influenced your story, and tag 7 people.
I’ll do Haunt Your Murderers for now, and maybe do the others later if I’m feeling inspired.
Haunt Your Murderers
Victorian London is in a state of industrial revolution. Yet within its seedy underbelly, resides nefarious criminals who will do just about anything to earn good coin. A drag queen madam of a high class brothel doubles as a notorious kingpin for a thieving ring. A corrupt surgeon lures fallen women to his home under the pretence of a want-ad marriage. Two working class boys take up grave robbery for decent pay and the thrill of it all. Pulling each and every one of their strings is an elusive high priestess of the underworld.
Octavian Cutlass is far from pleased with their thieves’ lazy performance. Tired of their complacency, they’re desperate to do away with the lot of them and start from scratch. Consulting surgeon Vermilion Carnadine and grave robbers, Basil and Hamish, they drum up a murderous ploy to get rid of the thieves one by one. But the high priestess has a stake in this too, and what she brings to the table is good old fashioned resurrection. As the bodies pile up, she must choose who is worth bringing back from the dead, and who is worth burying.
A single soul stands in their way: a trapeze artist turned lady pirate come home to London, and the stench of decayed morals she’s returned to is foul.
Influences!
I already talk ad-nauseam about my Victorian literary influences for Haunt Your Murderers, so I’m gonna go for the less obvious ones and go into the historical context:
Wuthering Heights. Although there isn’t much of a hint of WH’s influence on the plot and characters itself (a shocking feat, since everything else I’ve ever written has a hint of WH in it somewhere), the title is borrowed directly from Emily Bronte, who brought us this gem: May you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you—haunt me, then! The murdered do haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!
Edinburgh’s underground caverns. Oooh! So this is fun! On one of my first weeks in Edinburgh, I went on a ghost walk of the caverns beneath the city’s streets. The story goes, the poorest of the poor, and merchant class would live down beneath the streets because they had nowhere else to go. And they managed for a time being until the Great Fire of Edinburgh (which I’m only just realized was in fact, a 19th century phenomenon), blazed through and choked everyone out. The desperation in the dark led to murderers and thieves slitting women and children’s throats in the pitch black, and what remains now is the demonic presence of all that dark energy. Apparently, at some point, a coven showed up to drive away the demonic force, and within a few days of living down there, they decreed it the most evil spaces they’ve ever encountered, and they all fled. I knew the minute I heard that story, that Millie had to get involved as the high priestess who cleansed the underworld of its demonic presence. (...or DID she???)
Burke and Hare! Holy shit, I love Burke and Hare. So they’re the most notorious grave robbers in Victorian history. At the time, corpses were a particularly hot commodity among surgeons for use in their anatomy lectures. Often times, they would take custody of anyone hanged whose body was never claimed by family, but when that was made illegal, they started accepting bodies from just about anyone willing to hand them over. Burke and Hare started off just digging up fresh bodies where they could find them, but eventually they got so desperate for money, they just started killing off prostitutes and handing their bodies over. They were eventually caught, executed, and their skins made into book jackets (or at least one of them did...). We’ve got a similar situation with Basil & Hamish (who together, quite unintentionally, share Burke & Hare’s initials!)
Sarah Waters. So Sarah Waters wrote Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet, two (modern) queer 19th century novels about the criminal and sexual underworld. She gave me a taste of what it could’ve been like if London had an underground sexual revolution, where the Victorian equivalent of the LGBT community hung out in clubs and deviated as much as they wanted from the social norms. That’s where my duplicitous drag queen comes from.
Fanny and Stella. So, historical research on Victorian drag culture isn’t non-existent, but it is pretty darn hard to find. Fanny and Stella are two queens(?) that are pretty well documented though. I maintain it’s tough to breech the topic of trans identity in the Victorian context, because even with this prominent case, historians are pretty wishy washy about exactly how they identified (with so many cis white male historians, what’re you gonna do?) They’re recorded as theatrical performers, who spent time dressed as women both on and off stage, and had relationships with men, with a preference for their feminine names. It seems to me they were trans women, but just didn’t have the modern notions to describe it as such yet. Similar to Oscar Wilde, they’re well documented because they had a court case haunting them over their “deviant behaviour”. There was practically a witch hunt after them for essentially just being true to themselves, so you can imagine how hard it would’ve been to be trans in that era. Octavian/Melusine definitely falls somewhere within this realm of gender identity. (Melusine being their preferred identity, but Octavian being the one they use to traverse within society’s confines).
The fortunetelling scheme. When I was doing my undergrad, with my minor in history, I took a small research assistant job, where I combed through 19th century newspaper archives for any mention of criminal activity. One of my favourites was an incident that happened on the highway of my home town in the UK, where travellers would pretend to be fortune tellers, tell some unsuspecting victims’ fortunes, then swindle all their money and vanish into the night. Looking back on it, this could just be a xenophobic dig against gypsies, which is no bueno, but unfortunately rampant at the time... I have a scene I’m writing right now where Melusine encounters Andrina (an actual fortuneteller) on the road, and promptly attempts to rob her, only for Andrina to swindle them back.
The young bride want-ad scheme. Every so often, I’ll do a deep dive into non-fiction books about Victorian crime, and a favourite nugget I’ve found has been that at some point, a serial murderer would put out an ad in the newspaper requesting essentially mail-order brides. He would then lure them into his home, and kill them. Vermilion does much the same with his victims.
This has been a spontaneous Victorian history lesson... I hope you learned some stuff! 😉
I’ll tag some new writeblr followers! ...and @msmeaghanrey
@howsweetthewords @authorlaragrey @vanwolffen @scribble-dee-vee @amyanda @katekarl @atellier
#i think the moral of this story is#the Victorians were ignorant assholes#which is lucky#because all my OCs are assholes#it's nice#being able to look back on history with a 20/20 lense#and make commentaries about how screwed up everything was#the screwed up parts always make for the most interesting plots#sophie writes#ask games#haunt your murderers#oh no#sophie's obsessed with Victorian history...
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Valentine’s Day Reads
Happy Valentine’s Day! As I often gripe about badly done romance on this blog, I thought I’d list a few books that actually do it well. Some are classics; some are decidedly not. But I love the love stories in all of them. I tried to cover my bases, and while I won’t say that all of these are all-time favorites for me, they do stick out in my head for their romantic plotlines and the chemistry between the leads. Hopefully, something here will appeal to you.
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. Scarlett is a spoiled, vivacious southern belle on the eve of the Civil War. She wants Ashley, a gentleman whose romanticism and genteel nature embody the antebellum era they’ve grown up; he’s the one man she can’t have, engaged to his sweet, kindhearted cousin Melanie. As the war begins and becomes increasingly brutal, Scarlett must grow up and become a survivor, pining for Ashley while engaging in a game of wits and and emotion with Rhett, a man whose cynical and opportunist nature makes him a pariah in the south--but perhaps might also make him Scarlett’s true match. The love/hate narrative is really defined by GWTW, which is less a tragedy than it is a coming of age story. Scarlett and Rhett’s chemistry and rightness for each other is undeniable, but held back by the fact that she can’t recognize her own true feelings, committed to an idea rather than reality, and he is too protective of his own feelings to admit that he loves her. GWTW is one of the few “classics” out there that is truly and compulsively readable, and it suggests a lot of Deep Things while at the same time entertaining you with a frustrating, gorgeous romance.
Cinder by Marissa Meyer. Cinder is a cyborg, shunned by society and neglected by her stepmother and stepsister--despite her status as a gifted mechanic. When the stepsister she loves grows fatally ill, she catches the blame, putting her in a precarious position. At the same time, however, she finds herself as the mechanic of none other than Prince Kai, heir to the throne of the Eastern Commonwealth. As Cinder becomes more entwined in political intrigue through Kai, she must also fight her feelings for him, and her lack of self-worth. It’s hard to explain this series without spoiling a lot--and while The Lunar Chronicles is one of my favorites series, I’ll admit that Cinder--though the first book--isn’t my favorite (that honor goes to Scarlet, the second book in the series). But Cinder and Kai have a fantastic, sweet romance that of course draws from Cinderella, as every book in the series draws from a different fairy tale. Yes, there is a lot of sci-fi going on in The Lunar Chronicles, and various space politics, but ultimately, each novel is a love story, and the couples you meet in one book return in the next. (Except for Fairest, the excellent villain origin story prequel, which is an obsession story.) Highly recommend if you’re on the lookout for some fun, romantic YA with a sci-fi spin.
Beauty by Robin McKinley. The awkward Beauty doesn’t much feel like she deserves her nickname, especially when she pales in comparison to her gorgeous sisters. But when her father returns from the castle of a mysterious beats, she rises to the occasion, offering to be the beasts’s prisoner in his place--and determined that she can tame it. Obviously, this is a Beauty and the Beast retelling--but it’s a definitive one. This a slow-burn romance, and the book is as much about Beauty learning to love herself as the beast. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some excellent moments between the two of them. When you’re looking for something with a bit less heat and a bit more gentle romance, check this out.
When the Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore. Miel and Sam are childhood friends, having weathered prejudice--Miel is an immigrant, and Sam is a trans man--together, as well as the strange roses that grow out of Miel’s skin and the attention that attracts. But just after their relationship crosses a line--going from pining to physical--confusing the two of them, the Bonner sisters return to town. Rumored to be witches, they want Miel’s roses, and will do whatever it takes to get them. McLemore is really, really good at magical realism. And there’s a lot of that in this book. But the central story here is Miel and Sam’s relationship, their pasts, and how they’re struggling to come to terms with who they are. The story is both romantic and erotic, and perhaps part of why it feels so incredibly real is that parts of it reflect McLemore’s own life. Whether or not that’s true, however, is irrelevant--it’s impossible to not love her dreamy prose and the intensity of Miel and Sam’s feelings for each other.
Wintersong by S. Jae-Jones. Liesl is underappreciated and in many ways repressed, taking on a lot of responsibility at the family inn. Her sister Kathe is the beautiful one, and her brother Josef, a gifted musician, is the talented one--regardless of the fact that Liesl herself is a driven composer. Ever since they were children, the siblings have been preoccupied with the Goblin King, but though he inspires her music, Liesl has dismissed him as a childhood fancy. Until, that is, Kathe is taken by goblins--and the Goblin King needs a bride. To save her sister, Liesl takes her place as the Goblin Queen. While initially repulsed by the Underground, she becomes enthralled by her new husband’s world, and their shared passion for music. Wintersong is well-written and thoroughly addictive, laced with a kind of erotic intoxication. You fall for the Goblin King as Liesl does; you fall for his world as she does. It’s morally ambiguous and dark and strange, and quite perfect for those who never got over David Bowie in Labyrinth.
A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux. Jilted by her self-obsessed boyfriend and left penniless, Dougless asks for a knight in shining armor and gets one--in the form of Nicholas, a medieval knight sent forward in time. Dougless is initially disbelieving, but as she and Nicholas learn about his real legacy--which falls short of what he expected--they gradually fall in love. However, their relationship is cut short by his sudden disappearance, sending Dougless back in time to find him. This is a classic 80s romance novel, and therefore I had to include it. It’s silly; it’s problematic; it has quite a few sex scenes, some of which may or may not involve ice cream. But there’s a kind of purity to its cheese and silliness that is lighthearted and unique to the era.
The Girl in 6E by A.R. Torre. Deanna Madden wants to kill people. So, she stays in her apartment all day, making a living as a cam girl. As a result, she has to have a lot of things delivered to her--prompting the interest of the delivery guy, who just wants to get to know this woman he’s never even seen. Too bad Deanna wants to murder him. Basically, this is an erotic novel; there are a lot a lot a lot of explicit sex scenes, and a few different men who may or may not have a romantic interest in Deanna beyond her body (and if the series continues beyond the three books it’s already had, I wouldn’t be shocked if the author expands upon that). But there’s something sweet about a guy and a girl who really don’t know each other being genuinely intrigued by one another--and the fact that the relationship’s main obstacle is Deanna’s own desire to kill makes it all the more interesting.
The Hating Game by Sally Thorn. Lucy and Josh are work rivals at their publishing company--though “rivals” may be putting it lightly. They loathe each other, regularly taunting one another throughout the day while competing. That competition gets ramped up a notch by a promised promotion that only one of them can get. But as they each struggle for the job, Lucy and Josh begin to realize that the tension between them may not just be professional. The Hating Game is a rom com, but like... a sexy one. There are plenty of UST-filled moments throughout the book. And the great thing is that Josh isn’t an asshole, like most men in these sorts of books are. He doesn’t want to ruin Lucy’s life; he actually seems into her, not into dominating her. If you want something light and lovely and hot, go for The Hating Game.
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. Heathcliff is an orphan, brought to Wuthering Heights by Mr. Earnshaw and raised as a “lesser than” sort of foster child alongside Earnshaw’s children, the abusive Hindley and spirited Cathy. Equally wild, Heathcliff and Cathy become childhood best friends, and their feelings gradually deepen into intense romantic love as they grow up. But Heathcliff is socially unsuitable for the upper-class Cathy, and when she agrees to marry her shy neighbor Linton--while vowing to love Heathcliff forever, out of his earshot--he runs away. When he returns, Heathcliff is wealthy and bent on revenge; but the feelings between himself and Cathy remain, leading two families and multiple generations into ruin. I feel like a lot of people are immediately put off by WH because it’s not told from Heathcliff and Cathy’s perspectives, exactly. In fact, the story is told long after their children have grown up, by Nelly, a housekeeper who observed much of the story’s events, to Lockwood, a visitor to Wuthering Heights. It’s also a really twisted love story--as much of a hate story as anything else. Heathcliff and Cathy resent and adore each other in equal measure. They thwart their own happiness over and over, and both are beasts to those that love them. But this novel is so significant precisely because it shows that two hideous people can love each other--and it conveys a haunting sort of passion that seems almost out of place in a novel of its time. The strain of morality running through Jane Eyre--tempering its subversive plot--isn’t present in Wuthering Heights. Even when the cycle of abuse that consumed Heathcliff and Cathy finally is broken, the people that do so are hardly angels. It’s a sad, angering, obsessive story. But at its core, this is a book about love--and the things both terrible and great that it drives people to.
Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. As a little girl, Grace was attacked by wolves--and since then has been somewhat obsessed with the yellow-eyed wolf in the woods behind her house. Sam is a wolf in the winter and a boy in the summer, his transformation completely involuntary and based on the temperature. This time, when the weather warms, he finally meets Grace, and they begin a tentative relationship--but if Sam can’t figure out how to stop himself from changing, he runs the risk of becoming a wolf forever, and losing not just Grace but himself. Maggie Stiefvater has become increasingly famous for her Raven Boys series, and don’t get me wrong, I love that series. But I love The Wolves of Mercy Falls more, and not just because it was the first book of hers that I ever read. There’s a lovely approachable, understanding tone to Shiver--her writing is still beautiful and lyrical, but the simplicity of Grace and Sam’s love story set against the backdrop of a complicated, fraught situation is impossible to resist. As the series continues, another very good, contrasting romance is added in--but I can’t really get over how incredibly soft Sam and Grace are, and how much this series feels like young love to me.
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