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ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult · 4 months

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Unpredictable, Part 6-Limoreau x black!fem!reader fic

A/N: Sorry it's a little late but it took me forever to get the pace right and I didn't re-watch the episode so it's all from memory. Thanks for all the love!

Warnings: Hints to sensuality, swearing, body image issues, self-esteem issues, allusions to homophobia.

Words: 7.8k

Taglist: @badbishsblog , @kasslucilfer, @gardenof-venus, @morelovemorepeacemoretattoo-blog

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The only sounds that filled the room were the rustling of clothes as we all got dressed in our respective areas. While I was slipping on my gold hoops, I could not shake the feeling that something was off, kind of like in a horror movie where the main family is weird, but they haven’t done anything to justify suspicion. Every time I tried to remember something, it made my temples throb.

My stomach churned at the fact that I couldn’t remember anything, and my thoughts were all jumbled up. Did Marie or Jordan remember anything? The thought of asking them made me gulp and I fingered the dark-wash jeans in my lap.

They’ll think I can’t handle my liquor or that I always black out, I mused bitterly.

“I think this is yours.” Jordan’s voice nearly made me jump but I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized she was talking to Marie.

Marie glanced over at her and muttered her thanks once Jordan tossed her a bra. I faced the front again, unfolded my jeans, and gasped.

“What is it?” Marie asked.

I gulped. “Um, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“It doesn’t sound like nothing,” Jordan commented.

How did she sound so casual?

No, I couldn’t say it, it was way too embarrassing. These jeans were no ordinary dark wash mid-rise pair; they fit my hips like a glove, made my legs ten percent longer, and my butt twenty percent perkier. When I found them on a shopping trip with Coco, we dubbed them the Look At Me jeans and they never failed to garner attention. So, I could only wear them when I really wanted to feel good about myself and I wondered what possessed me to wear them last night.

“Seriously, it’s fine,” I tried to assure them as I started pulling the fitted denim over my legs.

The process was going well until I reached my upper thighs and they refused to go higher. I huffed, flopping back onto the bed, sucking my stomach as far as possible, and tugging on the belt loops.

After some strategic shimmying, they finally slid up just below my belly button and I zipped them up triumphantly. Every time I wore them, I forgot how hard it was to get in and out of them.

How had I gotten out of them last night?

The thought made my face burn, and I snatched my royal purple halter top from the floor. As I slipped it over my head, I could not stop my thoughts from wandering as to how we even ended up here. For one thing, Marie and Jordan couldn’t stand each other and I was always trying to play the mediator between them. Again, how did that turn into…this? When did they stop hating each other?

This whole situation felt the same as when I was trying to think of a word, and it was on the tip of my tongue. But no matter how much I thought, the word never came to me. I had a feeling they somehow made up and the thought of them making up made me hopeful and something else I couldn’t put my finger on. Even if they did makeup, why was I involved?

I tugged the top down and the buttery soft material stopped at the middle of my ribs. Then, I swept my braids to one shoulder and grabbed the thick straps to tie it. Despite the numerous times I wore this top, my fingers kept fumbling with the material. I huffed as I willed my fingers to cooperate and hoped that no one noticed my struggling.

After a few seconds of trying, a soft, warm pair of fingers brushed up against mine.

“Here, let me help you,” Marie offered.

All I could do was nod and my hands fell into my lap. Every time Marie’s hands grazed the back of my neck, tingles ran up and down my spine.

Stop it, Y/N, my mind hissed at me.

Hopefully, she thought I was shivering.

“Done,” she softly announced.

“Thanks,” I replied, fastening my strappy black Gianvito Rossi pumps.

Once she got back to her side of the bed, she commented, “I didn’t know you had a tattoo there.”

I slapped one of my hands on the back of my neck and stood. “Huh?”

Jordan whistled. “Freshie has ink? Let me see.”

She crossed over to the front of the bed and started pulling at my hand as I tried to back away.

“Jordan, stop, it’s not even that impressive,” I whined.

“Just one little peek, I won’t untie it,” they promised. “Besides, it’s unfair if only Marie got to see.”

Jordan made a good point and I reluctantly turned around and twisted my braids up on top of my head. I shivered when Jordan gently lifted the straps and almost collapsed when their warm breath brushed my skin.

“It looks…nice,” Jordan admitted. “When did you get it?”

“Over the summer, when my dad went to Thailand for a business trip, I went with him and found this cool tattoo parlor near where he was shooting. One night, I stopped by and told the artist I wanted something pretty but hard to find,” I explained.

When Jordan let go of the top, I faced her for the first time. She kind of looked like a puppy, very innocent and hopeful. I never saw that expression on their face before and wondered what it meant.

“Um, this might sound kind of bad but, I don’t remember anything from last night,” Marie admitted.

I whirled around to her. “Me either!” “I didn’t want to say anything but, yeah,” Jordan agreed.

“So, we all blacked out?” Marie asked.

“Maybe; I wonder if anyone else remembers anything,” I mentioned. “By the way, where’s my phone?”

“Oh.” Marie grabbed something from the floor and handed it to me. “Here.”

I tried to turn it on, but the screen was black. “It’s dead, my phone’s never dead.”

“Really?” Marie asked.

I nodded and shoved my phone into my back pocket. “I like to be able to leave when I want or reach anyone I lose while I’m out.”

“Or post about it anywhere,” Jordan added.

“Hey, you’re the one who’s always saying how important it is to maintain a following,” I defended, but my tone was not as light as I meant.

“I’m just saying that this whole thing is weird. I never blackout no matter what,” Jordan insisted.

“Did we all get drugged or something?” Marie pondered.

“Why would someone drug all three of us just for us to…” I glanced at the bed.

“So, we did…” Marie trailed off and I glanced up at her, noting her soft smile at Jordan.

I didn’t need to look at Jordan to know she had a similar expression on her face, but it didn’t help the sinking feeling in my stomach. No, I needed that feeling because whatever happened last night was a mistake. They obviously had something going on and I didn’t need to be in the middle. But why did the way they looked at each other make me feel light and miserable?

The tension in the air was thick and I needed to breathe.

Then, a dull ache panged behind my eyes, and I winced as I cupped my forehead with my hand. “I need coffee, water, a shower, and eggs; not necessarily in that order.”

A few moments later, I was sandwiched between Marie and Jordan, in their masculine form, on a couch in Dusty’s backyard. The Vought Water that ran down my throat was so refreshing that I almost cried. It was cool outside even though the sun was high in the sky. I should have felt cold, but Jordan and Marie were both radiators.

Cate and Andre sat on a couch across from us, both looking a mix of concerned and awkward.

“So, do you guys remember anything from last night?” Jordan asked.

Andre shook his head. “I don’t even know how we got to Dusty’s.”

“It looked like a great party, though,” Cate commented, glancing around at all the discarded beer and liquor bottles scattered through the yard and all the vandalism around Dusty’s house.

“Has anyone checked socials?” I asked.

“You haven’t?” Andre asked, eyebrows raised.

I shook my head. “My phone’s dead.”

Cate handed me hers and I immediately went onto TikTok. Her For You page was flooded with videos from last night. Apparently, Emma had been in her giant form, chugging beers at the pool for a while. Then, there was one of Coco and me doing our “Sweetest Pie” dance in the middle of a dance circle. The next one was Cate cheering Andre on as he did a keg stand.

Then, there was one of Cate, Andre, Jordan, Marie, Coco, and me playing an intense game of flip cup, featuring Coco roasting Andre. Finally, there was one of me and Jordan making out in the middle of the dancefloor. My face burned as I watched myself grab at them desperately and their hands roamed all over me. My finger slipped to the next video where I was now between Jordan and Marie, grinding on the former while the latter stuck her tongue down my throat. Towards the end of the video, Jordan pushed some of my braids to the side and started nibbling on my neck.

My hand subconsciously wandered to the bite marks on my neck.

“Whoa,” Marie whispered.

Jordan drank some more water, and I returned the phone to Cate.

“You three make a great throuple,” Andre encouraged.

“Shut up,” Jordan admonished.

I flinched at his tone and turned away.

“Okay, so, a lot happened last night and none of us remember,” Marie began, “what’s the last thing anyone remembers?”

Everyone paused for a moment.

“I remember walking out on the Tek Knight interview because I was upset with my dad but…I don’t know why,” Andre said.

“I remember the Tek Knight interview too and…it feels like something else happened but, I can’t remember,” Jordan agreed.

Cate nodded and I admitted that I could hardly think and couldn’t remember anything.

“It’s like someone put us through a time loop or something,” Marie commented.

Jordan perked up at that. “Do any of you know what day it is?”

“Friday,” Cate said with a shrug.

“Thursday?” Andre guessed.

“It’s Saturday; we’ve lost two days!” Jordan exclaimed.

I sipped some more water and nodded. “It’s like the Lotus Casino from Percy Jackson.”

At that, all their eyes were on me, and I shrank back a little.

“What? They’re good books.”

“It’s a little random, Y/N,” Andre pointed out.

“Well, it’s an accurate observation. In the book, people are trapped in the casino because it’s so great, but they don’t realize how much time has passed. Some people were there for years.”

“Anyway, do you think you can see what might have happened?” Marie asked.

I shook my head. “No matter how I think about it, I can’t look into the past.”

Cate suddenly looked somber as she glanced at her phone. “Well, I think I might have an idea who might’ve done this. Look who was at the party last night.”

She held her phone out for all of us to see. On it was a video of some Phi Epsilon guys playing beer pong. One of those Phi Epsilon brothers was Rufus. My stomach sunk at his smug image.

“Shit,” Andre muttered.

“But why would he do anything to us after Marie---” Jordan cut himself off and glanced at her.

“After Marie what?” Cate asked.

Once Marie explained what happened, Cate and Andre seemed stunned, but Andre immediately smiled.

“Now, that’s badass,” he complimented.

Marie smiled. “Thanks.”

“And it could be a reason for him to get revenge,” Cate observed.

“But why would he go after all of us if that’s the case?” I wondered.

Cate pursed her lips. “Well, drugging someone wouldn’t be something out of character for him.”

That’s when Cate shared everything that happened between her and Rufus last year. By the end, Andre and Jordan looked prepared to beat Rufus’ face in while Marie and I comforted Cate.

“I’m so sorry that happened,” I expressed.

“Did you ever report it?” Marie asked.

Cate shook her head. “Like anyone would’ve believed me. Besides, I felt so ashamed that I wanted to pretend it never happened.”

“We can’t let him get away with this,” Jordan argued.

“And what should we do besides beat what’s left of his ass?” Andre questioned.

“We can get him to admit what he did to Cate and us,” Marie offered.

“How?” I asked.

Jordan smirked. “I can come up with a few ways.”

Despite the new resolve in the group, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. Besides all the warring feelings inside and the swarm of thoughts in my head, I had this gnawing feeling that we were missing something.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Marie asked, slowly setting a hand on my knee.

Immediately, I jumped. “Um, nothing, it’s just…I feel like we were doing something important.”

“We’re about to nail a psycho, that’s pretty important,” Andre said.

I shook my head. “No, something else…something before all this.”

Jordan nodded. “Yeah, I get what you mean.”

Something was off in their tone that time but I couldn’t take too long to think about it. Seconds later, Coco marched up to us in a pair of white pumps. Her curls were piled on top of her head and her silver House of CB corset top and jeans highlighted her deep skin.

“There you are! I’ve been texting you for the last five minutes!” she huffed.

“Sorry, Coco, my phone’s dead,” I apologized.

Her eyes widened and then she blinked. “What? Never mind, we have to go, the initiate brunch is today.”

“Oh, right, I totally forgot.”

I slipped from under Marie’s hand and sauntered over to Coco. Even though she looked a little panicked and prepared to chew my ear off, she couldn’t have come at a better time.

Jordan stood. “Y/N, what about Rufus?”

He frowned at me, and I had to force myself not to react to his use of my real name.

“I’m sorry, I have to go to the initiate brunch but text me if you need anything,” I rushed.

“And shouldn’t we talk?” Marie added.

Coco’s slim but firm hand wrapped around my wrist, and she started tugging me away.

“We’ll talk later!” I called over my shoulder.

After a few minutes of walking, Coco turned to me and let go of my wrist.

“So, the Look At Me jeans worked,” she commented.

My eyes widened and I faced her. “You talked me into them?”

She frowned. “I don’t know if I would say that but, I helped you make the decision. Did you do too much last night?”

“No…maybe, I don’t know,” I admitted.

“Well, from what I remember, you did let loose, which you deserved, but I wasn’t with you the whole time…obviously.” Coco smiled as we continued walking. “Like I said, based on all those bite marks, they worked like a charm.”

I covered my neck and huffed. “Yeah, they did.”

“Okay, what’s up? You should be annoyingly happy but you look just like you did right before you gave a thirty-minute presentation in Brink’s class.”

The words were right on my tongue, but I couldn’t let them roll off. Coco and I were friends but, we weren’t as close as I was with Emma or Cate. I couldn’t tell her why I reacted every time Jordan or Marie grazed me or why I could barely look at either of them. No, it was way too much for our friendship.

“I just…I feel weird not remembering anything,” I explained. “Why were we at Dusty’s anyway?”

Coco raised an eyebrow. “You really don’t remember? We were all out celebrating our new initiates. We went to Alpha Tau first, then Whiskey Around because Lydia wanted their paloma, and then we ended up at Dusty’s.”

“Did the initiates come with us?” I asked.

“A few did but most of them were done by the time we went to Whiskey Around and Lydia got them rides back to their dorms.” Coco linked our arms together. “Come on, maybe some coffee and food will kickstart your brain.”

Neither ended up helping and for the first time, I wasn’t interested in what anyone was saying in the well-lit dining room table. As was customary, everyone wore breezy pastel or white dresses as servers occasionally refilled glassware and replaced empty dishes on the table. All I could think of was that video and how I was positive everyone at the table had seen it. That video had thousands of views and it was impossible that none of them had seen it.

Behind all their wide smiles and compliments on my blush pink knit Prada skirt set were fangs and vile words ready to be spewed. Sure, they were gushing with some initiates and sharing fun stories from years past, but it was only time before anyone confronted me on it.

“Y/N?”

I blinked and turned to see a pretty girl with chestnut skin and auburn Marley twists tied into a bun looking at me expectantly. “Oh, sorry, what were you saying?”

“I was saying that your dancing is amazing. I mean, I knew it was when you and Coco taught Tiana, Erica, and me the ‘Fly Girl’ dance but you were something else at that party.” Her voice had a hint of a southern twang and her eyes seemed to sparkle.

“Thanks,” I said, sipping some more coffee.

She was one of the three black girls who was accepted into Si Chi. Once my phone charged, I immediately went on #RushTok and saw that the girls Coco and I pushed for were accepted. The one sitting next to me was Naomi Banks, a crim major from New Orleans. Erica Tyler and Tiana Wilkes, a Hero Management and Counting major respectively, were seated across from us near Coco. Out of all our pledges, they had some of the most impressive applications and I had a feeling that I had to stop Coco from skewering Sasha with her arguments.

Plus, I found a video one of Justine’s friends made that featured her gobsmacked expression at her rejection letter on Bid Day. The face nearly made me tremble with glee.

At least a couple of good things happened during the haze.

Naomi tapped my shoulder. “It’s no wonder those two were all over you.”

I almost coughed on the coffee and covered my mouth.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she apologized.

I shook my head and set the porcelain cup down. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. In the future, be careful about mentioning anything from a night out with any of your new sisters.”

Naomi nodded and took a bite out of a piece of bacon. “Thanks, Y/N.”

“No problem. Did you enjoy last night?”

“Yes! I got to get to know so many of the girls here and everyone seems really nice.” Naomi leaned closer to me. “Liliana over there said that Vince from Sigma Kappa asked her for my Snap. He’s pretty cute for a white boy.”

“Sigma Kappa is a top house and Vince is one of the more eligible ones.”

“That’s good. Obviously, I won’t go after him if you or anyone else is interested.”

I smiled at her. “I appreciate it, Naomi, but I think you’re good.”

“Oh, and were you serious when you said you’d help me with my Intro to Forensics class?”

“Of course, a Si Chi girl always helps a sister in need.”

Naomi sighed. “That’s great; the TA’s a real dick, no offense.”

“None taken.”

I covered my laugh by shoving another forkful of French toast in my mouth. The sugary morsel was almost enough to lift my spirits. In Naomi’s defense, Jordan was the toughest out of all the crim TAs to the point they were borderline sadistic.

“Jordan’s tough but, they’re insanely passionate and dedicated to their work. So, they expect everyone to be at their standard,” I explained.

“So, they were like that even when you had them?” Naomi asked.

I nodded. “They terrified me in both forms but, they were okay once I got to know them.”

“I don’t know if I want to get to know them; I just want to pass.”

“It’s okay, I’ll help you.”

Then, I started wondering how the Rufus investigation was going. Since I left Dusty’s, Cate was the only one to reach out, asking to check in. It was a little weird how I got antsy that it wasn’t Jordan or Marie especially when I had no idea what to say to them.

Sydney tapped a fork against a champagne flute, jerking me from my thoughts. She stood at the head of the table, wearing a lavender mini Chanel tweed set. Her hair was in a half updo and she stood with perfect posture.

“First, I would like to welcome all of our new initiates to Si Chi,” she chimed.

She allowed for about ten seconds of applause.

“It is an honor to have found such great women to continue the legacy of this house. When I first came here, I was petrified of not being able to meet any of the house standards. Then, I met my mentor, Isabel Perkins, and she helped me see that we don’t meet these standards on our own----we meet them with our sisters.”

That time, she allowed for fifteen seconds of applause.

“That’s why I hope that you will connect with all of your big sisters since all of them are still here because they continue to maintain the good name of our house, which brings me to the second thing I wanted to discuss.” Sydney paused. “Obviously, we are all glad that we found a match in our new sisters but know that your place here is not permanent. We Si Chi girls hold ourselves to high standards academically and socially and if there is a concern that one of our sisters, new or returning, does not meet those standards, we cannot guarantee her place in our house.”

I swallowed thickly at her words and wondered if she was piercing me with her gaze.

“That being said, this is a place of sisterhood and a safe place for all women and myself and the rest of leadership work diligently to keep it that way,” She continued. “Will the leadership team stand?”

With that, Lydia, Sasha, Alina, and I stood from our seats. For the first time, I felt like I was under a microscope in the Si Chi house and wished everyone stopped looking at me.

“These girls, no, these women are the ones I have entrusted to help continue this house and select our new sisters. Please feel free to say hi to them whenever you see them or let them know if you have any concerns,” she announced.

During that round of applause, my phone started buzzing on my chair. I tried to discreetly grab it but hesitated when I saw Jordan’s name on the caller ID. I quickly silenced it and smiled at the crowd of girls looking at me.

Then, the phone started buzzing again and I rejected it again.

“Looks important, Y/N,” Sasha mouthed.

I hoped I hid my glare with my grin well enough and when I sat down, the phone went off again. I huffed, snatched it, and hurried into the nearest hallway, muttering my apologies as I went. Of course, it was a video call and when I answered, Jordan’s face filled the screen.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Where the hell have you been?” Jordan demanded.

I glanced around for onlookers and continued further away from the dining room. “Could you keep it down? I’m still at brunch.”

“Still?” Marie asked in the background.

“Yes.”

“And you couldn’t answer my texts?” Jordan griped.

“I didn’t get anything,” I insisted.

Based on how hard their jaw clenched, I decided not to mention that my phone was on Do Not Disturb. I tried not to think too hard about how they got past it.

“Did you find anything on Rufus?” I asked.

“No, Rufus may have gotten us all to Dusty’s, but he didn’t do anything to our heads,” Jordan admitted.

“And, they’re going to stay away from everyone since Cate still doesn’t want to make the report,” Marie added.

I nodded and started pacing in the hall. Something was off about all this and I still couldn’t tell what it was.

“I know that face, you’re not saying something, freshie,” Jordan called.

Sometimes, I hated how observant they were.

“It’s just…something has felt off about this whole thing. I mean, yes, Rufus is the creep of all creeps but he’s also a moron. He wants things that are quick and easy and getting into all our heads without being noticed takes a lot of planning,” I reasoned.

“You’re right. So, whoever messed with us is smart and didn’t have to make contact with any of us to make us lose our memories,” Marie continued.

“Or if they did have to make contact, it’s someone we’re comfortable with,” Jordan remarked.

At his words, the greatest epiphany hit me. There was only one person in this entire school with that kind of capability and the thought that they did this made the French toast start to rise in my throat. I hoped that I was wrong, and I knew I couldn’t tell my theory to Jordan or Marie; not yet.

“Okay, did you find out anything else?” I asked.

Then, Marie explained the trackers that were implanted in all of us and I frowned.

“Don’t our phones already do that?” I argued.

“You can leave your phone anywhere,” Marie countered.

“Touché. So, how do I get it out of me without causing further damage?”

“Um, you can come by my dorm, or I can come by the house and get rid of it for you.”

“I can stop by yours. I want to catch up with Emma anyway, give me, like, an hour or two.”

“Sure.”

I was about to hang up when Jordan stopped me and seemed to step away from Marie for a second.

“Look, I know this morning was weird and you probably still feel really uncomfortable but, I just wanted to tell you that we’re okay,” he said.

I hesitated. “‘Okay’?”

“Yeah, like, last night doesn’t have to mean anything so, don’t worry about it.”

“Uh huh.”

“Y/N, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, you’re fine, it’s all fine. I have to go.”

When I hung up, everything was blurry, and I leaned against the wall behind me. The tears were warm against my cheeks, and I did nothing to stop them. Last night meant nothing to Jordan and why would it? They’d had plenty of one-night stands and hookups, why would last night be any different? Why would I be any different? Marie probably felt the same and it was stupid to even think that there was some small glimmer of something.

Nothing was better, nothing would help me get back on track.

“Y/N?”

I straightened up at the sound of Sasha’s voice and swiped at my face. “Oh, hi.”

“That didn’t sound too good,” she expressed as she strutted closer to me.

With each step she took, her faux pitiful expression got more and more gleeful. I forced myself to stand as erect as I could.

“I appreciate the concern, Sasha, but it’s none of your business,” I defended.

My voice did not have nearly the bite it needed at the moment but all I wanted to do was get away from her. Even though she was shorter than me, it was like her presence took up the entirety of the hallway.

“Oh, but it is, you actually made it everyone’s business with those videos.”

The last word rolled off her tongue like dice and I thought her tongue poked out a little.

“I didn’t take or post them,” I hissed.

“But you know in this day and age you have to always be on the lookout; every Si Chi girl knows that, Y/N.”

I tried to push past her but she blocked me. “We should be getting back.”

“Oh, but we’re just getting started,” Sasha insisted. “You know, Sydney’s speech about sisters helping each other meet house standards really stuck with me. I’ve always seen you as a little sister, Y/N, one who thinks she knows everything and can’t stop messing up.”

“That’s funny, Sasha, because I thought you were my big sister who always needed my notes to pass any of her classes,” I rushed.

Sasha narrowed her eyes at me. “I think you need help meeting our social standards and I’m more than happy to assist. I know you thought that you were hot shit once you got in with the Top Five but, it sounds like you’re on your way out. Last night, Jordan and that new girl used you and spat you out.”

“Stop it, Sasha,” I whispered.

“I’m telling you the truth. If you’re not careful, there may not be a place for you in Si Chi anymore. I mean, everyone’s seen the videos and I would hate for anyone to feel uncomfortable here.”

She grinned wider than the Cheshire cat and I didn’t know whether I wanted to wipe the grin off her or disappear into a puddle of my tears. I didn’t get to decide as Sydney appeared from the other end of the hallway and made her way over to us.

“What’s going on here?” Sydney asked.

Sasha beamed at Sydney. “I was just telling Y/N how inspired I was about your speech and how I want to continue helping her meet our house standards.”

Sydney glanced at me. “Well, I appreciate your dedication to mentoring a younger sister, but Y/N is one of the brightest women to enter this house. I wish I could stick around and see what she’ll do next year.”

I tried not to gape at her. “Thanks, Sydney.”

“Of course.” Sydney turned to Sasha. “And I know that you understood that I meant what I said about this being a safe space for all women. While we do hold ourselves to a high caliber, we do not shove a sister who struggles. If we did, I can’t imagine what Amber or Hailey would have done if they knew half the things we did freshman year.”

“Y-yes, right,” Sasha sputtered.

“Anyway, we should get back and review the events for next week with the girls,” Sydney instructed.

Sasha nearly sped down the hallway while Sydney and I strolled after her. We didn’t say anything, but I could have burst from the gratitude I had for her.

A couple of hours later, Marie let me into her dorm, and I sulked at the fact that Emma wasn’t there.

“Where’d she go?” I asked.

“She found some clue about some weird dude we ran into after you left with Coco,” Marie commented. “I guess she decided to go after him.”

I nodded, partly infuriated since that sounded like something Emma would do. She could have at least texted me. I was hoping for some sort of buffer between Marie and me.

So, I sat down on Emma’s bed and played with a fluffy yellow pillow. Marie sat down across from me and looked down at her hands.

“Will it hurt?” I asked.

Marie looked up at me. “A little but I’ll try to make it stop as soon as I can.”

I nodded and dryly laughed. “Last night was really wild, huh?”

“Yeah…should we…talk about it?” she asked.

I shrugged and kept picking at the material on the pillow. “Only if you want to.”

“I know this is so weird but, you and Jordan have also been acting weird. They told me that last night was ‘okay’ and that we didn’t have to make it weird but it’s already weird!” she exclaimed.

“They told me the same thing,” I admitted.

“Do you agree with them?”

“Do you?”

“I asked you first.” She barely made eye contact with me and I started playing with the pillow.

“I don’t know…I don’t know how I feel about any of this,” I confessed.

“Do you regret it?” Marie asked.

“I can’t regret something I don’t remember.”

The words landed like a bomb and I wanted to take it all back. Marie flinched at my words and I wanted to make it better.

“I mean I…I think I’d have a better idea if I remembered. But I also think that you and Jordan should talk again,” I tried slowly.

She frowned. “Why?”

“I mean you two are close now and I know something happened earlier but I don’t know what but I feel as though I’m the biggest third wheel in the history of third wheels around you two.”

It was quiet for a few seconds, and I wanted to use my ability to figure out what would be the quickest way out of there.

“You’re not a third wheel,” Marie maintained. “I like it when you’re around and I like it when you’re with me and Jordan.”

“I like being around you too, but we’re friends and it’s only natural.”

Marie paused. “Oh. I mean, I like being friends but, yeah, never mind.”

“What is it?”

Marie shook her head. “Nothing. Let me get that tracker out of you.”

I nodded but I was dying to know what she was going to say. Did I totally mess up? Did I misstep again?

She knelt in front of me and touched my left shoulder. Marie’s brown eyes met mine in a silent question and I nodded. As soon as I did, she slipped my cardigan to the side and brushed her hand up and down my neck and shoulder until she sensed something.

“Found it,” she breathed.

I nodded.

“Just stay still, okay?”

“Okay.”

My knee started bouncing and before I could stop it, Marie placed her free hand on it but stayed focused on my shoulder. She traced her hand across my shoulder, dragging something in her path. Eventually, when she got a few inches away from my neck, something slipped out and I yelped at the sting.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” she questioned.

“No, it just stung,” I insisted as I covered the wound.

Marie held her palm towards me, and I narrowed my eyes at the tiny, bloodied tracker in her grasp. “Now you’re safer.”

“Thanks.”

She slipped a band-aid onto the wound and pulled my cardigan back in place. “How was brunch?”

“Good. We have three new black girls.” “That’s awesome!”

“Yeah. They all better survive Hell Week.”

Marie groaned. “Does that mean you’ll have more to do?”

“Kind of but it’s way easier than Rush Week.”

“Does that mean we’ll be able to hang out more? Class doesn’t count.”

“I hope so, I mean, if you want to.”

“I just told you I like being around you, of course I want to.”

Her smile somehow made me feel better, actually, her smile always did that. When I thought about it, I rarely saw Marie upset or frowning. She was always so bright and shiny, almost like Luke. All I knew was that I didn’t want to take her shine away.

“Yeah, sure,” I replied.

Then, I saw a brief premonition of my prime suspect. They smiled so sadly at me.

“I wish you hadn’t seen that,” they whispered.

When I blinked, Marie’s smile wavered a little.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

“No, I just have to check on something,” I insisted.

“Oh, do you need any help?”

“No, I’ll text you if something comes up. Thanks for getting rid of the tracker!”

Cate’s dorm had the calmest energy out of all my friends. It might have had something to do with all the green accents, from the wallpaper to the various green pillows on her bed. Last year, she got really into color psychology, and I hoped that it worked as I sat across from her on her comfy rug.

“I saw that you got three new black sisters. Congratulations!” she cheered.

“Thanks. They’re all really cool, and I need them to make it through Hell Week,” I joked as well as I could.

She nodded and grabbed her bong from her coffee table. “With you as their big sister, they have hope.” She took a hit and extended it to me.

“No, thanks.”

She frowned. “You’re always open to smoking.”

“I had a couple of Bloody Marys at brunch, and I don’t want to risk crossfading.”

It wasn’t a total lie, but I needed to be as clear-headed as possible for this conversation. Cate’s big blue eyes eyed me for what felt like an eternity, but she shrugged and set the bong in front of her.

“Fair enough,” she conceded. “So, you, Marie, and Jordan, huh?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know…”

Cate’s eyes widened. “What do you mean you don’t know? I saw the three of you together. Even though you were acting awkward as hell around them.”

“Well, I’m still processing everything that happened and the fact that I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s pretty obvious what happened, Y/N.”

Even though her voice had a teasing lilt, it felt like she was spitting in my face.

“I mean, I know what happened, but I hate how I don’t remember any of it. It’s been driving me nuts all day and I could barely focus on the Si Chi brunch.”

Cate straightened up. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to invalidate your experience.”

“And it sucks that this is my experience, you know. I mean, I don’t know how I feel about either of them and then I go and have sex with both of them? What kind of freak am I?”

“You’re not a freak, Y/N, and, you’re going to hate this, but it’s pretty obvious how you feel about both of them.”

I cut my eyes to Cate. “It doesn’t feel obvious. I’m so confused, and I don’t know how to act around either of them anymore. It used to be easy to mess with Jordan but now I freeze up whenever their name pops up on my phone. And Marie is so nice an-and pretty and funny. Her powers are insane, and it makes sense that Vought scooped her up now.”

“You don’t sound confused to me, Y/N.”

“Really, because I feel confused all over!”

Cate held her hands up and pushed her bong aside. “Okay, that’s fair. You know, we’re doing a project in my advanced psych class about denial, and I’ve found that a lot of people in denial just go around in circles, driving themselves nuts because they won’t admit something.”

But there was nothing for me to admit. I was clear that Jordan and Marie had something going on and I didn’t want to be an interloper. Even though Marie said she liked having me around, I was positive it was just as a friend and to quell any fights between her and Jordan. But, their fighting wouldn’t be an issue anymore.

When I told Cate as much, she huffed. “How are you this smart but this dense?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve been flirting with both for the past few weeks. All of you can’t seem to stop talking about the others and they’re both willing to kill for you. You obviously can’t stop thinking about them and I’m sure they’re the same.”

She looked at me as though I should know what she was saying but I felt lost. Then, I started thinking about how Marie’s smile made me feel like melting inside and how I instantly wanted to help her when her schedule got messed up or how I felt warm and fuzzy when Jordan got between me and Chad, and Thad.

“It’s impossible,” I whispered.

“What’s impossible?” Cate asked.

“I…I can’t like two people at the same time. I’m not in middle school anymore!”

“What’s so bad about liking multiple people?”

“Because you’re just supposed to pick one, Cate, everyone else has managed to do that. There’s something wrong with me.” “Hey,” Cate softly grabbed my hands, “there’s nothing wrong with you. If anything, it shows how much love you have to give.”

“That’s so cheesy.”

“But it’s true.” She smiled. “Why are you so afraid to say it?”

I hesitated. “Because then it would be real and if it’s real, that means that I could get hurt, twice.”

Then, Cate pulled me into her arms and slowly rocked. “Everyone’s afraid of being hurt but, it’s a part of life. It may not feel like it but if it does happen, you’ll get over it.”

“I know but, at the same time, I’m so scared. I mean, I didn’t see any of this coming and I see most things coming.”

Cate hummed in reply. The mix of vanilla and weed wafting off of her was enough to make me sleepy.

“Plus, I imagined my first time to be a little more romantic than a drunken night at Dusty’s.”

Cate paused and pushed me so that we were eye to eye. “What?”

I shrunk a little and looked down at my hands. “Please don’t give me that look.”

“I’m not giving you any look.”

“Yes, you are, all pitiful and shocked. Excuse me for having a Cher Horowitz approach to sex.”

Cate relaxed. “I’m sorry, I’m not judging, and I shouldn’t be surprised since you have all those standards.”

“Cate, have you seen how picky I am about shoes?”

“Yes but, I’m shocked it hasn’t come up before.”

I shrugged and picked at my deep purple lounge pants. Cate was not the first person to express that before, but it wasn’t my fault that I was raised to have standards and all the guys I’d been around were uninteresting at best and disgusting at worst.

“I didn’t always look like this,” I muttered. “Emma would probably lie and say that I was always a bombshell or something but it’s not true. I was fine in elementary but middle school was hell; I struggled with my weight, and I was taller than everyone else, and don’t get me started on being the only black girl in class.”

Cate didn’t say anything, and I continued.

“There was this one black boy, Matthew, who made making me miserable his mission. When I would run on the playground, he screamed ‘Earthquake, everyone run!’. Every day, he made sure I knew how ugly and fat I was, and I didn’t need it because my parents, mainly my mom, told me it too. The summer before high school, I was sick of it and started learning all the tricks on how to glow up; skin, hair, makeup, everything.” I sighed. “I did a little better in high school, but no one asked me out and I ended up going to prom with a group of friends, which was fun but I wished that I was one of the girls who received one of those grand promposals. When I got a vision of how great my future was going to be, it gave me hope that Matthew and everyone else was wrong.”

“They are wrong, and Matthew can go suck a dick,” Cate affirmed.

I chuckled. “Anyway, I still get nervous around guys, and the whole being attractive thing is new to me.”

“But you’re comfortable around Jordan and Marie.”

I nodded. “I am but I don’t understand it. I’ve never liked anyone who wasn’t a straight guy before, and I don’t know what any of it means.”

“It means that sexuality is a spectrum, and you lean towards the not straight side. You don’t have to know everything right now, Y/N, and I know it’s easier said than done with you but, life has surprises, and it wouldn’t be fun without them,” Cate encouraged.

“I hate surprises.”

“Well, get used to them.” I smiled but paused. “What if they don’t like me back?”

“I highly doubt that since I’ve seen how they both look at you. Honestly, being around you three can get a little uncomfortable,” she teased. “But, in a world where they reject you, you will always have me, and I will make their lives worse in ways that Matthew wouldn’t even dream of.”

Cate’s tone and smile were earnest, and it made me feel better about ranting. I was stunned that I told her my secret, but I guess she had one of those high trust faces that made anyone want to spill everything. For the first time in a long time, I felt relaxed, like I’d just finished the most intense shiatsu session ever. It was crazy but I felt like I was breathing better than before.

It was crazy what secrets could do to a person.

The thought made me gulp but I grinned at Cate and hugged her again.

“Thanks for listening,” I muttered.

“Of course. Thanks for finally being honest,” she returned.

I tried not to bristle in her grip as I pulled away. We both stood and slowly made our way towards the door.

“So, are you going to go with a grand gesture to tell Jordan and Marie how you feel or are you going to play it cool?” Cate teased.

“I’m not sure,” I started. “I still can’t get over what you said about how they’d kill for me. How could you tell?”

Cate paused. “I mean, they glare at anyone who looks your way in a flirty sense.”

“But that doesn’t mean they’d kill for me.”

“I think you’re overthinking things, Y/N.”

“Maybe.” I stopped in front of her door and faced her. “You know, it’s funny how you said that life’s full of surprises and that I should get used to them. Remember how you thought Rufus messed with our heads?”

“Yeah, because he did,” Cate said slowly.

“Actually, Jordan and Marie already interrogated him, and he probably got us all to Dusty’s but there’s no way he could have wiped all our memories without touching us,” I informed.

“Wow, that’s crazy.”

“Yeah, and Jordan brought up a good point. They said if someone had to touch us to wipe our memories, it would have to be someone we knew and were comfortable with. They’re right but I also know someone who could do it without touching anyone if her gloves are off.”

Cate paled as she listened, and I felt my anger rising from deep within my stomach. “Y/N, I can explain.”

“You can explain how you violated all of us?” I hissed.

“It wasn’t like that, please!”

She reached out to grab my arm and as she grasped it, I realized that she wasn’t wearing her leather gloves. My mouth opened but everything faded to black.

#black!reader #gen v x reader #jordan li x reader #marie moreau x reader #limoreau x reader

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blairrwaldorfs · 1 month

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Midnight smoking with Joe, fluffy stuff, lingering touches sharing cigarettes.

Midnight Company

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Joe couldn't sleep because there was something he couldn't stop thinking about, and you just came home from a failed attempt of meeting someone at the pub because you couldn't seem to be so interested in anyone at all. However, you both knew there was a reason why you both couldn't keep your minds clear.

Author's Note: This request has been sitting in my inbox, and I have been wanting to do it. So, here you go! :)

Wordcount: 2K

“Ah, I see you’re still awake.”

You entered the flat just a little right after midnight and found Joe sitting on the sofa. The living room lights were turned off and the only thing illuminating the room was the television. He was watching an episode of Succession, and you knew then that he couldn’t sleep. Being flatmates with Joe for the last two years had made you learn the little things he did whenever something was bothering him. Smoking at the balcony at 1am because he couldn’t seem to figure out what he needed to do for the character he was playing. Sitting on the sofa and watching one of the episodes of the show he was currently watching meant he couldn’t sleep for some reason.

Joe let out a soft groan, throwing his head back on the sofa and rubbing his tired eyes.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He muttered.

You kicked off your shoes and walked towards him in the living room and flopped yourself down next to him on the sofa. You reached over to grab a handful of popcorn from the bowl that was sitting on his lap.

“Hey!” Joe grabbed your wrist. “Make your own.”

“Don’t be so selfish.” You teased him, pulling your wrist away from his grip before putting the handful of popcorn in your mouth.

Joe chuckled softly and shook his head as he grabbed a piece of popcorn and threw it at you.

“See, now you’re just wasting food.” You rolled your eyes before reaching over to grab more.

Joe threw his head back on the sofa and let out a sigh. You couldn’t help but chuckle softly as you focused your attention on the television. There was a comfortable silence between the both of you for a moment.

“How was your night?” Joe finally asked.

You shrugged, “It was okay.”

“I’m surprised you came home this early or that you came home at all.”

You side eyed him for a moment before shrugging again and stuffing your face with a handful of popcorn. He knew that you went out tonight with your friends, but you were also hoping that you would meet someone at the pub tonight.

“Men are assholes.” You murmured.

Joe couldn’t help but let out a laugh and moved himself a little closer to you and said, “Not all of them.”

You threw your head back on the sofa and turned your head to face him. His chocolate button eyes were sparkling as he gave you a playful smile. Joe was always like that. Even if you two had made an agreement that nothing would happen between the two of you, you still felt your heart beat out of your chest every time those eyes stared into yours. You both had one night of mistake—at least that was what you two had agreed on— and promised each other it wasn’t going to happen again.

It was the beginning of the year last year, and you both got too drunk during New Year’s Eve, and you both didn’t even remember much of what happened. Again, that was what you told yourself at least. You didn’t know if Joe was lying too, or he truly didn’t remember it. You, however, remembered that night crystal clear, but you didn’t want anything weird between the two of you, so you told him that you didn’t remember anything. Since that night, you two agreed that you both just got too drunk and got carried away since both of you were single.

That was all.

But that didn’t mean that you couldn’t stop thinking about it. That didn’t mean that you were okay with it because you had told yourself many times to move on from it because Joe didn’t feel the same. However, you always found yourself pushing other men that you would meet at the pub because they weren’t like him. They weren’t Joe.

God, you were pathetic.

You needed to let go of these unrequited feelings.

“Hmm…” You hummed softly, giving him a soft smile. “Oh, yeah? And is that one of them, you?”

Joe shrugged and just stared at you with a smile tugging on his lips. You let out a belly laugh as you stared at the ceiling. Letting your head rest on the sofa was making your head spin from the alcohol you had drank tonight, and you were sure Joe also had some considering the amount of beer bottles that were sitting on the coffee table.

“Wanna go for a smoke?” Joe got up from the sofa, reaching his hand towards you.

“Yeah, sure.” You took his hand in yours and followed him out the balcony.

Lighting the cigarette, you leaned against the metal railing and stared at the starry night sky. It was quiet, and the streets were empty. It was almost so peaceful and unreal.

“So, how come you haven’t met anyone that interested you?” Joe asked.

You didn’t know if you wanted him to press this subject because honestly at your state right now, you didn’t know if you could just stay cool and tell him some lame excuse as to why you weren’t so interested in anyone other than him.

After letting out a puff of smoke, you shrugged again. “Like I said, men are assholes.”

Joe laughed, shaking his head. “Even I don't believe that. It has been months. You’re telling me they’re all assholes?”

You tilted your head, brows furrowing. “Why do you care so much? Is this what happens when you can’t sleep? You just get into everyone’s business?”

A playful smile tugged on your lips and Joe took a step forward towards you. His eyes studied you for a moment, and it only made your knees weak. You didn’t know what he was doing, but it definitely was making your insides turn.

“I just care.” Joe murmured. “There’s no way a man would let you go that easily even if you refused them.”

“Well, they’re all assholes and cowards then.” You inhaled your cigarette one more time before finally putting it out.

You chuckled softly and stared at the night sky for a moment. You didn’t have to look for you to realize that Joe was just staring at you. You didn’t want to turn and face him. You were too scared. You may have drank tonight, and your head was spinning, but you knew you were close to stepping over the line.

“Well, what about you? Since you’re so interested in my personal life, how come you haven’t gone out there either? I’m sure all the girls are all over you since you’re so famous now.”

Joe laughed and said, “None interests me either.”

His answer sort of made your heart skip a beat. You were being way too vulnerable. At this point, you were telling yourself that you were being delusional for hoping that maybe Joe hasn’t dated anyone because maybe he felt the same. Walking back inside the flat, you grabbed yourself a bottle of beer, which probably wasn’t such a good idea and flopped yourself back on the sofa.

“Hm… I guess I’m not the only picky one here.” You teased him, taking a sip of your beer.

“Okay, so why are you so picky? What are you looking for in a guy?” Joe settled himself next to you on the sofa.

You glanced up at the ceiling as you thought about his question. However, there wasn’t anything that was popping up in your mind because you already knew the answer. But you had to make some kind of excuse, right?

“I don’t know. Someone that doesn’t bore me to death.” You laughed. “What about you?”

Joe shrugged. “Not sure, honestly. I haven’t thought about that.”

You raised your brow at him. You may be lying to him, but he definitely wasn’t a good liar when it came to his excuses.

“You’re such a liar!” You laughed, taking a piece of popcorn and throwing it at him.

“Me? You’re the one who couldn’t answer my question too.” Joe laughed.

You grabbed more popcorn as you flicked more towards him, making his jaw drop in shock. Laughters echoed in the living room as Joe tried to defend himself, but you were at this point just making a mess in the living room.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Joe laughed, trying to use the throw pillow as a shield.

He then grabbed you by the wrists gently as you stared into each other’s eyes. You felt your heart beating so fast that it was roaring in your ears. You stared at Joe’s chest that was also heaving as he moved closer to you. You felt the air between the two of you shift, and you knew that you were about to cross the line.

“Joe…” You whispered as he gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face.

“Am I part of your asshole list?” He asked, and you immediately shook your head so fast that your mind was spinning for a moment.

“Never.” You replied, voice so low.

You could feel your hands tremble as your eyes stared at Joe’s lips. His fingers slowly grazed your cheek before letting his thumb traced the outline of your lips. It sparked something inside of you, and you couldn’t explain what it was. All you knew was that the alcohol was running through your veins, and Joe being this close to you was electrifying every bone of your body.

“Good.” Joe murmured. “Because you were right. I am a liar.”

You bit your bottom lip as you held in your smile.

“Oh?” You raised your brow at him, your eyes suddenly staring down at both of your hands. “How so?”

You played with his fingers that were on your lap. You couldn’t bear to look at him. You knew if you did, you wouldn’t know what to do.

“Because you’re the only one that I can’t stop thinking about.” Joe admitted.

The surprised look on your eyes immediately caught his. You had too much alcohol, but you knew you weren’t dreaming, right? Joe actually told you that.

“W…What?” Your voice stuttered.

Joe softly brushed his thumb on your cheek, his face inches from yours. You could feel his trembling breath as he grazed his nose against yours. Closing your eyes, you could feel the oxygen leave your lungs. Your heart couldn’t fit in your chest anymore, and you kept telling yourself that this was a dream. That you would wake up, and Joe wouldn’t be here anymore.

Was the alcohol getting in your head right now? How many drinks did you have tonight?

“Maybe I’m… I’m a liar too.” You whispered.

“I know.” Joe grinned before pressing his lips against yours.

A small gasp escaped your lips, and your body was paralyzed for a moment. You didn’t know what to do, but as soon as you felt his soft lips move with yours, you couldn’t help but slide your fingers through his hair and pull him close. It felt like a dream, but you knew it was real. Joe’s hands found your hips as he held on to them and pulled you on his lap. A soft hum escaped your lips as you hovered over Joe, tugging on his hair slightly.

“Joe…” You whispered, pulling away from the kiss breathlessly. “Are you sure about this?”

“A hundred percent.” Joe kissed you hungrily and desperately as he gently laid you on the sofa, his lips finding your neck.

Stars exploded at the back of your eyes as you felt Joe’s lips against your skin. Every kiss he left was making your skin on fire, and you never knew you wanted this so bad until now. Pulling away, Joe stared down at you for a moment and smiled. His fingers brushing a strand of hair away from your forehead.

“Are you sure you won’t regret this like last time?” You asked.

“Darling, I never regretted it the first time.” Joe grinned before getting up from the sofa.

Taking you in his arms, you let out a squeal as he carried you down the hall and into his bedroom. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you kissed him again. Kicking the door closed behind him, Joe gently laid you down on his bed.

Staring into his chocolate button eyes, you knew you weren't going to regret it either because you never did in the first place. This time, you wouldn’t lie about how you felt too because this was everything.

All of this was everything.

The End.

*************

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @bylermaxmayfield @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name @readergf @ladamari68 @1paire2vans @d4rk4ng3l86 @paleidiot @josephquinnsfreckles

#Joseph Quinn #Joe Quinn #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader #Joe Quinn x Fem!Reader #Joseph Quinn Fanfics #Joe Quinn Fanfics #Joseph Quinn Fics #Joe Quinn Fics #blairrwaldorfs #one shots

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hatchetc · 7 months

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Fionna and Cake Final Episode Thoughts

Or Alternatively, How A Series Full of Women Managed To Fumble A Story In a Misogynistic Way

Hello everyone, I just got done watching the last few episodes of Fionna and Cake. I haven’t had a chance to rewatch the final 2 episodes out of pure shock, but I have reanalyzed every other episode and have discussed + concluded how/why the finale flopped in the way it did.

Do not get me wrong, I enjoyed a bits and pieces of Fionna and Cake and this is by no means a hate post. But as someone who grew up as an avid fan of both Betty and Simon’s story, I was left unsatisfied by their conclusion. It wasn’t necessarily because they went their separate ways in the end or anything of that nature.

Instead this post will attempt to address the contrasting facets of their relationship in the original series v. Fionna and Cake, the implications of their writing, and how narratively it does not fit in with the rest of the characters or the narrative as a whole. I ask that this is read with nuance + through the perspective as someone who has presented as feminine throughout their life and consider why this story misinterpreted woman characters as a whole.

In addition, I also want to articulate how this series misrepresented Simon as both a character, and how this misinterpretation perpetuates toxic behavior in men across society.

Also, it’s 5 am and I am extremely tired, so I apologize if I gloss over some other things! Feel free to add your own thoughts.

Foremost, the first thing I want to address is how Fionna acts in relation to Simon throughout the beginning of Fionna and Cake.

In many instances, she is shown to be quite apathetic towards Simon’s situation.

Granted, she doesn’t know him. Her first impressions of him are…do not showcase his best qualities either.

Which is fine! It’s quite obvious that it would make narratively more sense for Fionna to feel more empathetic towards Simon as they proceed on their journey together.

Most notably, this line right here foreshadowns the most character growth.

Except…the contrast of this point falls flat in comparison to the tons of other terrible things that Ice King has done as a character.

1. Has comparatively more depressive/manic episodes than this

2. Acts comparatively more selfish AND dangerous at other points throughout the series

3. Was a genuine threat to others at one point, especially women

Although the attempt to frame Ice King’s delirious breakdown as the catalyst to Fionna’s sympathy tried to play…

the writers missed an incredible opportunity to showcase just how bad Simon could be as Ice King. Instead.

Instead, it frames him as embarrassing at most.

I’m not a huge Fionna fan by any means, but I think she would have had way more emotional depth if she had been showcased really empathizing with Simon when he was at his worst. It would have made 1. Their relationship more meaningful 2. It would have been nice to see her reflect on how poorly she treated Simon at the beginning of the series. There was a lot of room for emotional growth there.

Which brings me to another point.

I know that as a fandom the general consensus is that Simon is a sad wet cat, and many people hc him as anything other than cishet. But ultimately at the end of the day the writers are trying to portray him as a cisgender heterosexual male.

Which is a big issue when it comes to both him and Betty’s relationship throughout the series.

It’s important to note here: Within the original series, it is well established that Simon is an incredibly selfless man who is equally passionate and obsessed with Betty. Enough to create a time portal see her again, enough to capture princesses as a manifestation of his love for her.

Yet…

Their relationship is framed in such a way that contradicts any of these established traits of their characters.

Simon is incredibly selfish towards Betty. Not only in his actions, but in his words. Which is INCREDIBLY contradicting to his character, as he is shown to be quite selfless throughout the series.

Not only this, but they are BOTH incredibly dismissive throughout the finale!

Why isn’t Betty allowed to get angry at Simon? She not only gave up her life for him, but her agency as well. Not only this! But she infantilized the fuck out of him! She had to literally place him in the shoes of a child for him to understand how much she devoted herself for him.

And this is not her fault as a character! This is a deliberate choice by writers! They chose to write her character this way.

Also despite the fact that Simon is just as passionate as Betty throughout the original series, she is somehow framed as the obsessive one. Even though Simon’s obsession with Betty LITERALLY MANIFESTED IN HIM CAPTURING AND TRYING TO MARRY WOMEN.

And of course the implications of these scenes also makes the exchange between Winter King and Simon about Betty even more fucked up!

The fact that that line about Betty being the “dead one” was never fleshed out sort of implies that the writers only seen Betty as a way to propel Simon’s character development forward.

And it’s done in the most lukewarm way possible. The way that this series was building up, the fact that Betty sacrificed everything, it would have made sense for her to be pissed.

Instead she just lets him go.

And this wouldn’t make me so angry. Except….

Gary sacrificed his entire career to support Marshall. And this is framed in a positive light.

But when a woman does the same exact thing she is punished for it…

It’s not fair.

Now that we’ve established this can we stop pretending that it’s okay for male characters in fiction to get away with acting like children? I’ve said this before, but Simon’s development throughout Fionna and Cake feels on par with Adam Sandler’s Click. Except, to quote @tezzaa “Click actually made me cry”.

Which is incredibly sad, because I love Simon as a character. But it’s clear to me that Simon was not written with an ounce of nuance towards women, even though the majority of the cast is largely female.

It’s sad to see what has been done to this character.

Anyways. Those are my thoughts. I’m sorry if you disagree. I don’t want to debate this, I just wanted to point out how these characters are treated from a feminist’s standpoint. Thank you.

edit: i want to note that i do realize that betty and simon are toxic as a couple, i just don’t think that their writing reflected their toxic tendencies in an accurate way in accordance with their characters

#fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #simon petrikov #betty grof #adventure time

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melinoelliones · 1 year

Text

You had frequently seen Chishiya around the city, however he was always alone and acting suspicious, not to mention you had formed somewhat of a crush on the guy. You were also quite curious about him but could never seem to get close enough, until fate brought you two to the same game. Maybe you could finally get some answers.

2.1K Words

MINORS DNI/AGELESS BLOGS DNI/ANTI DC DNI/18+

Warnings: Slight choking, mouth covering, guns and shooting, unprotected sex, cursing, teasing, sex with small plot, hickies, one night stand?, filling up, dubcon???

Hi again, third piece of writing <3. Hopefully i’m gettin better at this LMAO. I kinda tried to put this in the storyline so it isn’t too off brand i guess, this is episode 2 season 1 spoilers for those who haven’t watched. Also it kinda flops in the end.... sorry from now ya’ll

“Where the hell did he go? I swear just had him” you mumbled, kissing your teeth, you had been following Chishiya around the complex for a while now but it was almost as if he had poofed into thin air. Every corner you turned led to another empty walkway, where was everyone anyway?

Shuntaro Chishiya was his name but who was he? You had seen him around the city before but he was always alone and looked like he was up to something, not to mention he looked scarily similar to someone you had known back in highschool, but that's besides the point, he was unusual and you needed to know more, what secrets was he hiding?

You had brought it upon yourself to find out as much as you could about him from a distance, but since this was the first game with him you couldn’t let the opportunity to spy on him up close slip through your fingertips.

Strolling up yet another empty flight of stairs you froze, your eyes locked on the man with the horse mask who was now facing you head on, you felt as if time itself had stopped. Your blood ran cold as your eyes flickered to the large gun in his hand, “p~please don’t shoot, please”, you pleaded, maybe this could work?

You watched on as he started to march towards you, “should’ve assumed this shit wouldn’t work on you”, you sighed frustratedly rolling your eyes, it was worth a shot though. You slid the disk you had hidden in your sleeve to your palm, eyes glued to the masked man who was starting to pick up speed.

As he carelessly attempted to aim his weapon you struck your palms together, the disk emitting a strongly condensed cloud of smoke which started to fill the stairwell. In the midst of his confusion you slid past him, throwing the disks remains behind you as a distraction, hoping he would think you had tried to run back the way you came.

Had you really forgotten what you were doing here? Your life was literally on the line yet you allowed yourself to let your objective slip your mind due to a random man you were attracted to spying on? Maybe this wasn’t your brightest idea.

Darting down endless walkways, all that filled your ears were gunshots and blood curdling screams from below, your plan to get him off your back had worked but at the cost of whose life, countless thoughts flooded your head whilst you fled, paying no attention to where you were headed.

Breathlessly you came to a halt, you had hit the top floor, end of the hall, the only way out was to cross the open stairs but even then you’d be out in the open. As if a wake up call, the gunshots continued, the shells ricocheting off the walls echoing through the stairwell, with no other option you veered towards the last door on your side.

“This is gonna get me in so much trouble for fuck sake”, mumbling to yourself you tried to grab the thin piece of metal from your sock placing it into the keyhole, you had no clue if this would work but at this point there were no alternative options. Your hands trembling as the sound of the man's footsteps grew louder pacing up the stairs, “cmon dammit work”.

You vigorously shook the metal rod, all critical thinking had gone out the window as the realisation that you may actually die right here started to hit you. As that thought popped up you felt the handle click, you were in, without another thought you swung the door open stumbling inside, letting the door close by itself to avoid any further noise.

You cautiously glanced around the room, it was almost as if it were a movie set, blank walls, chipped wood floors and no furniture. “I guess they weren’t expecting people to just walk on in he~”, you were cut off by a hand covering your mouth, your heart now pounding through your chest, was it the shooter?

Why didn’t you watch the door close? How did they get to the room so fast? Why couldn’t you hear their footsteps? A million questions swamped your mind.

You winced as your head started to rise slightly exposing your neck, the calloused hand against your mouth was pulling you back. Your body tightening in fear as your bodies met . A hand weaved its way over your stomach as a pair of lips ghosted just below your ear, their breath sending tingles down your spine, “uh uh uh, now what are we doing here my love?”.

You knew that voice from anywhere, it was Chishiyas. You allowed your body to melt into his as your heart rate began to soften. You could relax a bit now knowing who it was, what could he even want with you anyway, either way you knew you had a means of escape if needs be, Chishiya was not the strongest person by the looks of it.

A faint moan slipped through your lips against his hand whilst he trailed his fingers down your lower stomach with the other, you unknowingly pressing your lower half against his. “What are you doing my love?..... Oh? You like this huh?”, he murmured against your neck, laying a kiss or two upon it. “So… is this why you were always watching me from a distance? Or are you hiding something there?”, your breath hitching as he questioned you, how did he know, you always did your best to keep to yourself and stay hidden.

“Didn’t think I noticed you hmm?”, you could feel the cockiness in his voice against your neck as his kisses became a bit rougher, those were definitely going to leave marks but you didn’t care. “I wasn’t watching you?”, you had to lie, if he was to do anything with that information who knows what the higher ups would do?

His fingers paused at your core, you could almost feel their presence hovering above, “lie” he murmured against your collar bone, pulling your head up with his hand. The grip on your neck tightening as you flinched slightly, the new bruises were tender. As he slowly began to rub you through your already soaked underwear he chuckled, “I won’t bite, you can tell me the truth”.

“Now who’s the liar, the sore spots on my neck didn’t come from nowher~” you hissed as he increased the pressure on his fingers, the friction from them and the fabric of your underwear against your clit edging you closer and closer whilst you lightly rocked back and forth.

Chishiya definitely knew how to use his hands, you were ready to give in just from him playing with you through your underwear. “Cmon pretty girl, no need to be so secretive. If it makes you feel any better I was also watching you too. How could a random girl pop up out of nowhere and manage to survive all those challenges alone, who are you?” he joked, chuckling whilst coming to a halt.

You groaned as the early built up tension in your stomach started to slowly fizzle out, “did you do all this just to tease me?”. “Oh? If you want me so bad, how about I give you the real deal?”, his voice echoed in your ear as he placed a single kiss on your nape before pressing you up against the door.

You gently slid your front down the door, sticking your ass in the air showing your dripping underwear. As you shook your ass slightly you heard him chuckle to himself, he pressed himself up against your hot core, you could feel him almost poking through his tracksuit bottoms. “Well? Do you, or should we go finish that game outside”.

Chishiya ran his hand up your leg as you longed out your response, “please, I want this” you purred. “Hmm, very well then”, without another word you felt him lift up your skirts hem, pulling your underwear to the side with his fingers.

“We may have to make this quick” he muttered, aligning himself at your core, “What did you say~ oh my god” you choked out breathlessly, Chishiya had gave you no warning before crashing himself fully into you, your walls adjusting around him, you did not expect him to be so big.

“Try to stay quiet for me okay”, he teased as you pressed back into him for support, you let out a faint “y~yes” before allowing him to place his hands on your hips.

Chishiya slowly started to rock back and forth allowing every inch of himself to be taken in, his tip crashing against your sweet spot with no mercy. “Fuck, thzt feels so good”, you cried out in between his thrusts, as you looked down you could visibly see the impression of his cock sinking in and out of you.

“Quiet, they’ll hear you my love” Chishiya laughed out leaning forward, your moans getting louder which each hit to your sweet spot. You knew the sounds of your bodies colliding along with the moans would definitely ring through the apartment complex but in the moment you didn’t care.

As he leant forward you could hear his faint moans in your ear, cursing under his breath as he swung his hand around to your lower stomach. “I’m getting close, I don’t know how much longer I can hold ou~” you whimpered as Chishiya ran small circles on your clit, your own whimpers cutting you off. He wanted to watch you writhe under him, of course you weren’t adverse to this idea though.

As your moans grew louder and more incoherent, the sound of gunshots began to emerge from the other side of the door bringing the reality of the situation back into your mind. You were still in a death game, both your lives were still on the line once those doors open.

“You know, its almost like you want them to hear you. Does them potentially finding out what we're doing turn you on hmm?” Chishiya questioned cheakily through his own moans, increasing the pressure on his fingers whilst you attempted to swallow down your moans. The ever growing knot in your stomach was at its limit.

Chishiya could feel you tightening around him, “go on, cum for me pretty girl” he cooed. As if on cue you let the knot unravel, however he continued to keep a steady pace inside of you longing out your orgasm. You could feel your knees trembling as your body was getting tired but his light grunts in your ear were enough to help you muster enough energy to hold on.

“W~what are you doing down there? Cheeky one aren’t you” Chishiya hissed as you threw yourself back onto him, your wetness helping you slide with little effort, the sound turning him on slightly. You wanted to make the most of whatever time you had left with him as who knows when an occasion such as this would arise again.

“C’mon then Chishiya” you mewled softly, you could feel him twitching so you knew he was close. His thrusts became inconsistent as he cursed in your ear, pulling you into him.

“Oh fuck” you gasped, stuttering slightly as you felt him release inside you, his breathe staggered whilst slowing down his strokes. Your legs trembled as he began to pull out, both of your warm releases mixing inside you. “Well would you look at that”, you could almost hear the smirk emerge on his face as he stepped back leaving you completely, pushing your underwear back to stop you from dripping.

“How about you keep that wet underwear on for me, don’t want you to forget what we did do we” he teased, you didn't oppose as of course you wanted to remember this moment. Chishiya gave you a hand as he lent you against a free wall in the room.

Placing his hand on your chin he took in your heated face, “I still have an objective here and I also refuse to lose this game so my work here is done”, Chishiya stated plainly, showing zero emotion as he went to exit the room. Was that it?

You let out a faint sigh, steadying yourself against the wall as you also did have to finish the game at some point. “Hey!” he burted out in the doorway, “try to stay alive will you? Trust me, we have more to discuss, maybe you’ll be useful to me”, his eyes softed whilst closing the door behind him.

He wants to meet again? Perfect, attached or not you also had a mission. Chishiya showing emotion was not what you expected but it would definitely get you a pass when the higher ups ask how you got in this room in the first place. Your plan was going in the right direction. Playing the innocent card always worked on your average players but you expected more from him, maybe you could become his weak spot.

You grinned to yourself as you made your way to the door, “till next time Chishiya”.

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qsycomplainsalot · 1 month

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Masters of the Air is great, if you've ever thought "wow Band of Brothers is nice but it's weird that the plot is moving from setpiece engagement to setpiece engagement with the same characters, I wish we'd see more of the boring stuff with characters we don't know" then this is the show for you. And don't get me wrong this isn't about turning WW2 into a glorious ballet of death, but when your eight hours long series about US army bomber pilots has maybe half an hour of aerial combat, already that's a problem. The only time Masters of the Air puts you in the thick of it it's to kill as many recognizable characters as possible so that you can lose interest in the cast faster, you don't get to experience the important turning points of the war as seen from their point of view. Because they're dead or in PoW camps, sure, but also because the series doesn't care to show us. Episode 8 somehow encompasses most of 1944 and exactly five seconds of D Day are shown. I was down to get an in depth look at what bombing missions contributed to the war effort, but they never get in depth about it. We never go through boot camp, we never get a strategic sense of things, every episode is just "go there blow shit up" and we never hear about it again. This is, if anything, yet another exemple of screenwriters inexplicably not understanding that scenes must be related in tone or narrative, have a set up and a pay off, all that crazy smart stuff moviemakers figured out in the 1890's. Like at this point when I watch some movies I feel like seeing the work of someone who knows putting letters in a row makes words but doesn't actually know what writing is. Like shit, okay, so I get that this is based on his memoirs but was there any point in showing us that Crosby's fling was a spy in France ? Did we need to have a grand total of five minutes of Tuskegee Airmen over the last two episodes ? Did we need to see Crosby get told to take a vacation then take it offscreen ? Or maybe, just maybe you could have cut all that shit out and wrought a compelling narrative about those two assholes Buck and Bucky who are in every episode, forge a friendship together, get shot down over enemy territory, get captured by the Germans, put into camp, get involved in the Great Escape, go on a death march and finally escape separately, getting back to their home base in the end, 90% OF THESE PLOT BEATS NOT BEING INCLUDED IN THE FUCKING SHOW. This series is an unfocused mess and the only emotions it got out of me were linked to me what World War 2 was, not any kind of cinematic skills. If I want combat footage with no characters I'll just watch a documentary at least that'd be good in its own way. At this rate making a show out of it is bordering on feeling gross and exploitative. "Well we made a series about the Army and a series about the Marines, now we gotta make a series about the pre-Air Force I guess." like "whatever the fuck we do it will sell cause WW2 is so moving and shit, and it's pretty much our version of brand recognition". In conclusion I can honestly say that Masters of the Air isn't only the worse out of the three big WW2 series, but it's also just a flop in general. No action, no tension, no emotion, no nothing. An expensive slideshow to serve as a demo reel for an amazing prop and costume team.

#rant #masters of the air #history

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silver-ink-iron-words · 1 year

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T_T

This is so touching!

I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this. But then I was like, I've already made them wait long enough, and what's the harm of posting two things in one day?

Felt it'd be nice to have Part 6 be a little less plot-driven. You'll see what I mean

-------

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

QPR, Part 6

“[Hero], come on!” the villain called, from where they laid sprawled on the couch. “You said it wouldn’t take that long!”

“Hold on just a sec.” The hero’s voice floated from the kitchen. “They’ll be done soon.”

The villain scowled and flopped back on the pillows. “You never see Do-yun making Ha-rin wait around forever.”

“That’s because tv shows have this magical trick called the jump cut.” There was the sound of an oven door closing. “We'll just let them bake, and then they’ll be so good you won’t even remember the wait.”

The villain groaned.

Then they heard the sound of running water, and burst up, rushing into the kitchen. “Are you doing my dishes?!”

The hero jerked their head up like they’d been caught vandalizing. “I was just going to do a few while we waited.”

“Okay, one, you do not need to do my chores on k-drama night. And two, how long is the baking going to take?!”

The hero glanced to their phone on the counter. “’Bout fifty more minutes.”

The villain gaped. “That’s most of an episode!”

“Well I didn’t want us to have to pause the show during a big scene. This way we can – Jesus your hands are freezing!”

The villain had come up behind the hero to hug them, pressing their hands on the hero’s stomach.

“Come watch tv dear,” they said into the hero’s shoulder. “I’m cold without you.”

The hero shook their head, but also cracked a small grin. “You’re evil.”

The villain matched their expression and pressed their hands more. “Of course I am. It’s the only way I can get you to cuddle me.”

In the end, the brownies were, in fact, good enough to make the villain forget why they were annoyed in the first place.

---

“Oh my god,” the hero said.

The villain fidgeted. “Do you like it?”

“Like it?” The hero looked up. “[Villain], it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

The hero was holding a small fluffy teddy bear, its fur the black, grey, white, and purple of the asexual flag.

The villain beamed. “Really?”

The hero nodded gleefully. “He needs a name.”

“I think the tag says its name is ‘Fuzzy’ or something. You could – ”

“Ferdinand,” the hero decided, assessing the stuffed animal. “Ferdinand Bearnsby. The next Prince of Denmark.”

The villain wrapped the hero in a hug. “I’m so glad you like it.”

---

“So is [Villain], like, a law-abiding citizen now?” the hero’s friend asked.

“Uh, sort of?” The hero gazed around at the restaurant’s outdoor seating area. “They still break minor laws, but I think they’ve really toned it down to stress me out less.”

“Hey, that’s great.”

The hero swirled their iced tea with their straw. “Yeah, I guess.”

The friend quirked an eyebrow. “You don’t agree?”

The hero sighed. “Okay, so don’t ever tell [Villain] this, but I think their ‘devil may care’ attitude is maybe, kinda . . . a little bit cool?”

The friend grinned. “Oh really?”

In return, the hero’s smile was sheepish. “It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I secretly wish that they’d behave more like their old villainous self sometimes.”

“Hm, well I suppose that – ”

Something enormous crashed into the street, making all the dishes clatter. The hero and their friend both whipped their heads around to see the cause of the noise.

“[Villain]!”

“Oh hi [Hero]!” The fifty-foot tall mech waved at the two of them. “Fancy meeting you here. How did you know it was me?”

“[Villain], why are you in a giant robot?!”

“Isn’t it cool?” The villain spun around, their heavy feet cracking the pavement and the machine's hinges screeching with every movement. “I finally figured out how to get the power system working.”

“This is illegal.”

The villain laughed. “Ah okay, I see the issue. But, fear not my darling, for I have” – they pulled out a sheet of paper that looked miniscule in their enormous metal hands – “a permit!”

Soon after, the mech continued walking down the street, while the hero followed them, shouting at the top of their lungs.

The friend watched them go, and then chuckled. Those two maniacs were perfect for each other.

---

A-spec stories taglist:

@feline17ff , @piept , @doublericenobeans , @vioqueenofmushrooms , @pigeonwhumps , @thelazywitchphotographer , @taramacgay

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angelofverdum · 23 days

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Station 19 7x04

Are my eyes deceiving or did I just watch a good episode of Station 19? It was so depressing I loved it.

It gagged me so bad that I had to look up the writers and see if they had written other episodes for the show. Mellow Brown wrote 6x05 and this is Sybil Azur's first episode for Station. mmm hello? Why would you hide the talent?

I don't know if it is the best episode but top 3 for sure.

I said it before and I'll say it again this cast is so talented. The storylines are usually so dumb that they can't actually tap into their acting bag.

Barrett's performance has been amazing. Like the pain? Damn. Vic is always joking around and having shitty storylines but I want to know more about this Vic, like what is happening to you, mama?

I'm not Ross' biggest fan, but Merle Dandridge for sure can command a scene. I think that was one of the most difficult calls they've had ever in the show and she had the responsibility to make the audience feel that and she delivered.

I loved this episode so much that Andy was one of my favorite characters, and my relationship with her is complicated.

Some told me that they exchanged Jack for Beckett and hey I'm still bitter about how he bullied Maya but Josh Randall is an actor for real. Grey would get an aneurysm before delivering a scene like Josh did with Boris. (I know Grey's a good guy)

Theo finally did something good. I know he will probably be around but I hope not.

The pacing was perfect too.

Maya and carina are so beautiful together. The scene were Carina needs more diapers and she stops Maya, and comunicate clearly what she needs and Maya complied. Oh I need this in my life.

Every interaction was perfect.

Now, in the most userious way.

You don't understand how loud I gasped when they showed that Carina and Maya were on the same side of the bed. Half of the bed was empty, lmao Carina was all up in Maya's space. Love that for them.

I don't understand why they are wearing those shoes inside the house. I'm Latina and we used flip-flops inside the house around here, is this an American thing?

Also, Maya couldn't let her baby cry for 3 seconds, and she thought she was going to be the strict parent.

Also, Carina was tired of Maya. She was let's go right now. And the way she opened her arms like it would be a physical fight. I'm sure she can take Maya but not in a fight.

#station 19 #Maya bishop #carina deluca #vic hughes #rambles #reviews #opinions

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ateezreactionsandscenarios · 1 year

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Why do you hate me?

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut

CW: Degrading/Praise, brief nipple play, spanking, very slight choking.

Word Count: 6026

Summary: Since the day you met yours and Yunho’s relationship has been rocky to say the least, constantly arguing over nothing and no one knows how or why it all started. The others have had enough of your arguing so the best idea they had was to lock you away together to sort your shit out.

Prompt List Series Masterlist MasterList Buy me a Coffee

You rub at your eyes for probably the 100th time in the last hour, these deadlines were killing you and the longer you kept the authors waiting for their edited draft the more ratty and irritable they became. You had your boss pestering you in one ear and clients in the other, it was a vicious cycle you got yourself into. Yous started the day off strong, you’d gone into work an hour early, feeling like a spring chicken but now you’re still in the office at 6pm, an hour later than you should be there.

You sigh as you flop further into your chair and decide to give up for the day, at this point you’re of no use to anyone, the words on your computer screen were now all merging into long blurry lines and you could hardly read anymore. You were tired but then again you didn’t want to go home yet, so you took a gamble pulling out your phone to text your friend Mingi to see if he was free.

[6:15 pm] Y/n: Hey, are you home?

[6:17 pm] Mingi: Yeah me and the guys got in an hour ago why?

[6:17 pm] Y/n: Is it okay with you guys if I come over for a bit, I need to get out of work.

[6:19 pm] Mingi: Sure thing, just let yourself in like usual.

It’s times like this you’re grateful to have Mingi and the rest of his group in your life, they all welcome you at anytime with open arms...Well almost all of them. After putting your phone away you grab the last of your things, shoving them into your bag and head out to your car.

You did as Mingi said when you turned up, letting yourself in, shucking off your back and jacket before hanging them up in the hallway and kicking off your shoes. Mingi didn’t even notice your arrival, his eyes fixed to the TV as he watched the latest anime he’s been raving about so you decide not to interrupt him, opting to flop face first onto the couch next to him, your legs draping across his lap.

“Jesus fucking Christ Y/n!” Mingi yelps, your presence bringing him back to the real world.

“Don’t creep around like that.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt you.” You reply, your voice slightly muffled by the cushion your face was buried in.

“I’d rather that than almost die of a heart attack.” He chuckles. His laughter soon dies down when he noticed you weren’t laughing along with him.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, just work is really draining lately, the clients I was given are getting really ratty with me even though the deadline is 2 weeks time. I’m working overtime to try and get it all done but staring at the screen for up to 12 hours a day ends with me not being able to read anything.” Even though Mingi’s eyes were still fixed to the screen he was still listening fully to every word you were saying. He had no idea how to help comfort you as all he could think to do was give you small hums of understanding and small squeezes to your calves to help relax you.

The credits roll for the next episode and like a cat running to the sound of treats San bursts his way into the living room, eyes wide and a smile to match as he sees the all too familiar show on the screen.

“You’re finally watching it!” He squeals excitedly as he runs over to the couch, stopping in his tracks when he sees you sprawled out.

“Hi y/n, you okay down there?” He asks with a small head tilt not knowing if he should be worried or not.

“Hi San, I’m okay...tired.” You reply with more of a grumble than you planned. San looked over to Mingi who only mouthed to him they you’re having a tough time at work. Nodding in understanding San makes his way over to you lifting your head gently from the couch to wiggle himself onto the seat before setting your head back down on his lap.

“She’s got tight deadlines and is working overtime a lot, she’s just a bit stressed.” Mingi explains, giving your leg another sympathetic squeeze as San nods running his fingers through your hair to help relax you further.

You were all starting to get really comfy, the boys watching their show and you simply enjoying the small massages and head rubs, but the relaxing soon came to a screeching halt when Yunho walked into the room, gaming headset wrapped around his neck.

“Oh you’re here...again.” Yunho grumbles when he sees you. The others shoot him a warning look not wanting arguments to start up again.

“What, she’s always here can’t she hang out at her own place for once?”

“Fuck off Yunho I’m not in the mood for you.” You snap back, fatigue evident in your voice but the attitude still coming through.

“Why should I be the one to fuck off, I live here, if you don’t like me being around then go home at least then I’ll actually have some peace.”

“Yunho.” Mingi says bluntly hoping he’d get the hint.

“I’m just making a point Mingi, she’s here almost every day and then complains about me.”

“Maybe she won’t complain so much if you were actually nice to her.” San pipes up with raised eyebrows to emphasise his point. Yunho was going to snap back at San in an attempt to emphasise his point and his dislike towards you, that was until Yeosang walked in, innocent smile across his face.

“What’s going on guys?” Yeosang asks while his head flicks between everyone in the room in search of an answer.

“Nothing just the freeloader is back AGAIN.” Yunho answers with a low growl of frustration before he walked off into the kitchen to get a drink. With you relaxed state fully gone you sat upright to watch the TV. Yeosang didn’t know where to look or what to say, confusion written all over his face but from what he could gather it was the usual so he decided not to pry anymore.

“You okay?” Mingi asked, leaning towards you a little bit to make sure Yunho couldn’t hear him.

“Yeah I’m used to it don’t worry.” On his way back to his room, drink in hand, Yunho flashes you a glare to which you respond with a sarcastic smile and a middle finger before putting your attention back on the TV.

“So I’m guessing you’re still not friends.” Yeosang asked from the other side of the living room.

“What gave it away?” You answer sarcastically but with a smile to make it clear you weren’t snapping at him.

The next day work was the same as it had been, page after page of editing, reading over the same lines multiple times to make sure everything flowed right and research here and there to make sure everything was how it should be. You were in the flow of it and everything was running smoothly, that’s when you got a text from Wooyoung.

[3:36 pm] Wooyoung: Are you free after work?

[3:38 pm] Y/n: Well I did have a hot date planned with my couch and a tub of ice cream so this better be good.

[3:40 pm] Wooyoung: Sounds steamy 🥵 We’re going to order in some food later and we just want to know if you’ll be joining us so we can order your usual.

You take a quick glance at your work trying to judge when you’ll be able to leave and you’re glad to see you’ve made more progress than you had expected.

[3:43 pm] Y/n: Sure, I’ll finish at 5 and I’ll come straight over.

[3:44 pm] Wooyoung: 🍔ԅ( ͒ ۝ ͒ )

You give a quick chuckle at his reply and set your phone down so you could continue working and finish on time.

By the time you finished you were rushing to pack your things and get out the door, you already worked an hour later than you told Wooyoung so you were severely late. You took every short cut you knew to get to their dorm quicker and when you parked up you practically ran to the door.

“Sorry I’m late, I got swamped again.” You apologise, breathing heavy as you kick your shoes off at the door. You were happy to hear the others weren’t upset with you as they told you it was okay and they’d only just finished their own. Mingi got up from his seat and hurried over to the kitchen to warm yours up and telling you to take a seat. You nod and thank him before taking the free seat between San and Seonghwa.

Opposite you, you notice Yunho giving you the dirtiest look you think he’s ever given anyone, it’s clear he’s not happy you’re there and more so that he has to be around you, he wants to go back to his room to play games and leave you with the rest of the group but he knows if he does that he’ll get an earful the rest of the night.

You decide to shrug it off for now and instead focus on your food and those around you who actually enjoy your presence. While you ate your food you listened to the various stories from work the boys started to tell you. They let you in on some spoilers for the new album they were working on, styles they were playing around with for the concept and funny stories from their time in the practice room.

Once you finished your food you followed Jongho into the kitchen to help wash up despite the others telling you it wasn’t necessary, but it was the least you could do not only for them buying you food but for also turning up late. While Jongho washes the dishes and you stand to his side drying them off as he goes you decide to ask him.

“Is me being here really that bad?” He whips his head around to look at you confused.

“What do you mean?”

“I know Yunho doesn’t like me but damn am I that bad to be around?”

“You know how he gets, just ignore him he’ll soon get bored once you stop giving him a reaction, plus would we really have let Wooyoung invite you over if we didn’t like having you around?” You couldn’t argue with that, you were best friends with all of them, all except Yunho, then again you can’t please everyone.

With all the dishes washed and put away the two of you head back into the living room to the rest of the group.

“Just don’t let him get to you okay.” Jongho whispers giving you a quick comforting pat on the arm before going to sit back down.

Everything was going well, you were all engaged in conversation and laughing at each other, all while Yunho sat there silent, his glare still piercing you. You bit the inside of your lip trying desperately not to scream at him but you told Jongho you wouldn’t let him get to you. It wasn’t until he scoffed and rolled his eyes at something you said, did you snap.

“Okay, what the fuck is your problem?” You bite, turning your attention to Yunho who wore a repulsed look on his face. You could hear Jongho give out a small sigh of defeat as he pinched the bridged of his nose in frustration.

“Go on, you’ve done nothing but glare at me since I got here so tell me Yunho, what have I done this time to piss you off?”

“We invite you over for food, we even buy you the damn food and you’re fucking late even though you said you’d be here at a set time, we even waited for you but you didn’t show, not even a text. So that’s one reason.” Yunho hisses, frowning at you as his tone became harsher as he went on.

“I explained when I got here I was suddenly swamped with work, I couldn’t get out, and I apologised, what more do you want?” Yunho wasn’t having any of it, a smirk covering his face as he rolled his eyes at your excuse.

“You’re really starting to piss me off Yunho.”

“Oh I’m already there Princess.” He quips back condescendingly, leaning forward in your direction. The air was thick with tension from the two of you, everyone else in the room has fallen silent and looking at each other trying to think of a way to get you both to stop arguing.

“Princess, oh really!?”

“Yes, Princess, because that’s how you fucking act, like a stuck up little princess who has this lot wrapped around her little finger!” You stood up from your seat ready to start screaming at Yunho but you were interrupted by Seonghwa and Mingi who also stood up.

“That’s it, we’ve had it with you both arguing.” Seonghwa snaps as he lightly grabs you by the elbow and starts leading you out the room while Mingi does the same to Yunho, tugging him up from his spot and dragging him along behind you.

“Hwa what are you doing?”

“You two are going to sort your shit out once and for all, we’ve dealt with your arguing long enough so now it’s time to call it quits.” Stopping outside a door Seonghwa opens it and lightly shoves you into what you guessed to be Yunho and San’s bedroom and soon after Yunho comes stumbling in. Before he could make a run for it Seonghwa had shut the door in his face, Yunho tried the handle but from what he guessed it was locked.

“Seonghwa I swear to god you better open this fucking door!” Yunho yelled as he hammered on the door.

“Not until you both talk, you’ll stay in there all night if you have to we don’t care, just get your shit together.”

“Seonghwa, we’ll stop arguing so open the door!”

No answer

“Seonghwa!” The punch he delivered to the hard wood made you jump a little, the sound of the impact ringing though the room, you really felt he was going over the top with this.

“Just give up he’s gone.” You sigh, plopping yourself onto the bed behind you. Yunho turns on his heels and looked at you as if his face couldn’t get any more annoyed.

“Move.”

“Why.”

“That’s my bed, get off it.”

You roll your eyes at him as you stand and make your way over to San’s bed. You couldn’t believe how childish he was being, you could have sworn you were locked in a room with a grumpy toddler with how he was acting.

The room is silent, neither of you are looking at each other and the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. It was clear you both didn’t want to talk but not talking wasn’t going to get you anywhere. So you speak up.

“Why do you hate me?” Your voice was quiet, almost like you didn’t want him to hear you so you could continue sitting in silence, but your stomach dropped once you saw him turn his head to face you.

“What?”

“I asked why you hate me, you’ve not liked me since day 1, did I offend you or something?” You ask again, voice a little louder this time so you know he heard you.

“I told you earlier why I don’t like you, you act like a fucking princess and the others are at your feet hanging onto your every word, you bat your eyelashes at them and they’re eating out of the palm of your hand.” The annoyance is growing in his voice as his tone starts to raise.

“I do no such thing, they’re just nice to me unlike you.”

“I could have been nice if you didn’t treat me differently from the rest of them.”

“I know I don’t drop to my knees and worship you like your fans do but is that really a reason for you to hate me? If you weren’t such an ass to me then I’d be nice to you Yunho, but I get nothing but attitude off you!” You yell, standing up from the bed, arms waving in frustration. You were at your whits end now, his childish ways were really getting to you.

“Oh look at you, princess getting all annoyed because one man isn’t giving her the attention she wants.” His arrogant tone filling your ears as he stood up himself, taking slow steps towards you.

“What’s that supposed to mean!?”

“It means you’re such an attention whore it pisses you off if even one man doesn’t bend over backwards for you.” He steps towards you again, the gap between you closing slowly.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re a little jealous.” Yunho scoffs taking another step closer until you were only inches apart.

“And why would I be jealous princess, because you give everyone else ‘fuck me’ eyes and not me, because at any moment you could ask one of the guys out there to fuck you at any given moment and they’ll do it?”

“I’m not some sort of fucking whore Yunho, I don’t do any of that shit.” You argue back, your voice raising more and more as your anger levels rose.

“Oh you don’t do you? Then tell me why every time you go home I have to listen to them debate over who you were flirting with the most that day, their constant arguing of who’s gonna get their hands on you first. If hating that makes me jealous then fine I’m jealous.” You can’t help but scoff at him, your breath fanning his face pissing him off even more.

“Something fucking funny to you?” He growls taking a final step closer to you, your legs hit the side of the bed trapping you and giving you no choice but to stand there with Yunho pressed against you.

Now was not the time to admit you found him insanely attractive when he’s pissed but the butterflies forming in your stomach and the heat pooling at your core made it all the more true. You took too long to think of a comeback, your eyes were too busy scanning over his face, you’d never looked at him this closely before, the glint of fire in his eye full of rage but also something else you couldn’t quite put your finger on, the way his brows furrowed slightly in frustration and the way he had his jaw tightly clenched, just the sight of him made your mind short circuit. He’s quick to notice the way your eyes fall onto his lips for just a second.

“Cat got your tongue princess?” Now he was leaning his face in closer to yours, he knew the close proximity was flustering you and if that’s what he had to do to win this argument then so be it.

“You’re such an asshole.” You hiss, trying desperately to keep your composure and still seem pissed off and not like you want to take his bottom lip between your teeth. The smirk he gives you has your legs turning to jelly, you want to slap yourself for being so affected by him but at the same time you didn’t want it to stop.

Rolling his eyes at your remark, his tongue presses against the inside of his cheek and it was his turn to scoff this time. Your words didn't affect him as it could've if he was still extremely pissed off but by the way you're silenced by his actions so far, his anger turned into lust. Watching you slowly get flustered as your cheeks turn a bright shade of red.

"Will you get out of my face?" You scowl lowly at him, barely even pushing your hands against his chest in a failing attempt at moving him out of your way. You actually didn't want him to get out of your face, if anything, the closer he gets the better. You weren't going to kick yourself if anything was going to happen hear and now, there's no way you're going to deny the butterflies in your stomach.

Inching his face closer, taking your request and going against it. His nose barely brushes against the tip of yours, staring down your lips whilst his get caught between his teeth, his hands brushing up the skin of your arms and your shiver at the contact, "Or what?".

Shrugging in reply, you take a stance, looking up at him properly, inching your face closer so your noses touch and you watch him patiently wait for you to do anything else.

"I don't know." You whisper firmly, titling your head back slightly so your lips are close to his, but not close enough. Within an instant, you close the gap, your lips flush against his, quickly retracting with a smirk on your lips but instantly get shy about it. However he wasn't going to apologise for letting you kiss him. But part of him wanted more, only if you did. With a hand firmly grasping one arm and the other cupping your face, he catches his lip between his teeth again.

"Tell me you don't want this and I'll stop, but if you kiss me again I'm not going to hold back."

“Shut the fuck up and kiss me asshole.” That was enough for him, his lips meeting yours again but this time not holding anything back.

The kiss was rushed, like he felt he didn’t have enough time to kiss you as much as he wanted. His hand moved from your face to your hair, gripping a handful and pulling your face impossibly closer to his so you don’t slip away and his other hand left your arm to tightly grip your hip. Every inch of your bodies was pressed to one another. Pulling away for air for a brief moment, Yunho can’t help but smirk at how you seem to chase after him and when you open your eyes his own are met with the sight of your glazed over ones.

“Still hate me princess?” He teases, biting his lip again and squeezing your hip.

“So fucking much.” But in the same breath you’re back on his lips. His tongue gliding over your bottom lip demanding entrance. The deeper into the kiss you get the more you can feel yourself leaning backwards from the force Yunho was kissing you with, every small gap that opened he tried filling by pushing closer to you until you felt yourself falling backwards onto the bed behind you. As a reflex you grab his shirt, taking him down with you, his whole body weight on top of you momentarily until he shifts his weight to his arm so not to crush you.

You were both so lost in the moment you didn’t even acknowledge how you both moved in sync to shift closer to the middle of the bed, not breaking the kiss for a second. His hands are all over you, gliding along the side of your waist, down to your hips and along your thighs only to come back up and slip themselves under your skirt to grip your ass, helping him pull you closer until he was wrapped between your legs.

His hands move only a little bit from where they were, his fingers hooking into the band of your panties slowly dragging them down until you caught on to what he was doing, lifting your hips to help him get them off you faster. He smirks at your compliance, loving how the events have taken a complete 180 from you arguing with him to you now heeding to his every movement. Tossing the small garment to the side he runs a finger along your core, surprised to find out just how worked up he’s gotten you.

“For someone who hates me you’re soaked Princess.” He says smirking into the kiss as he senses your eye roll. You reach your hand down between the two of you, hand lightly grazing over the growing bulge in his jeans.

“And for someone who hates me you’re pretty hard Yunho.” You couldn’t help but get your own quip in, if you were going to look needy then you’re taking him down with you.

Your hands make quick work of the button and zipper on his jeans, trying your best to tug the clothing off him. He’d love to watch you struggle for a bit longer but the discomfort he was starting to feel from his erection pressing into his jeans cut his fun short. Shucking he rest off himself he lets out a small contented sigh leaving your eyes to take in the sight of the hefty bulge in his boxers. Impatience took over you once you saw what was in store for you. Lunging forward you grabbed the bottom of his shirt, hurrying to tear it from him and letting him work on your own shirt reducing you both down to just one item of clothing each.

You moved again to reach for his boxers, to finally fully undress him but a small yelp left you when he caught your hands in one of his, pinning them above you.

“Look at you, so eager to get fucked by the guy you hate the most, such a desperate little whore you’ll fuck anyone?” You grit your teeth at him, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much his words affected you, despite you being pinned under him wearing only your bra. You didn’t trust your mouth to talk for you so you opted to stay silent, letting your glare do the talking for you.

Using his free hand, Yunho tugs his boxers off, throwing them off to the side somewhere in the room. He’s smug when he watches you swallow heavily, eyes concentrating on his now freed cock.

“See something you like?”

“Just...shut the fuck up and fuck me already.” You growl trying your best to lift the top half of your body off the bed to meet his face.

“Oh, but I don’t think you’re prepped enough to take me yet Princess.” His voice was teasing, it was like he wanted to piss you off even more and to top it all off, he was enjoying it.

“I don’t care, I can take it, just get on with it.” With a slight tilt of his head and a small chuckle Yunho lined himself with your core but not quite entering.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” You opened your mouth to answer back but the words were knocked from you only to be replaced by a gasp as Yunho slowly eased himself into you. Despite the bad blood between you he didn’t want to risk thrusting into you at full force no matter how much he wanted to, he wasn’t an asshole, he wasn’t going to risk hurting you just to get himself off.

Your nails dug into the flesh of your palms and your eyes screwed shut, the stretch was amazing but the slight burn was there from lack of prep, you knew all you had to do was persevere for now and you’ll be on cloud 9 in no time. Yunho could see the discomfort you were in and he was only halfway, the hand that pinned yours to the bed intertwined with your own letting you grip as tightly as you needed to while his other hand smoothed over your waist in an attempt to soothe you through it. Your expression eases up once he’s fully inside you and he took a moment to let you adjust.

“You okay?” Yunho whispers bringing his face down to yours again, barely hovering above you. You nod in reply and you fully relax into him, eyes opening and looking up into his slightly worried ones, his pissed off exterior crumbling for a moment.

“You can move.” You pant out lightly, rolling your hips into him and a small sigh leaving your lips as you start to feel the faintest bit of friction. The slight movement had Yunho dropping his head to your shoulder, a low groan leaving his lips as he starts to thrust into you. With his pace picking up the burn soon turned to pleasure so much so you tried to muffle your moans with your hand, but how successful that was you don’t know. The tip of his cock grazed your sweet spot making you clench around him causing a loud moan to rip through he both of you.

“Shit Princess, if you keep doing that I’m not going to last long.” With his voice as raspy and deep as it was, you wouldn't be able to last long either, no matter how many times you may have had sex with someone, he was completely different. With his hips thrusting into you, flush against yours momentarily before pulling away, he hisses through gritted teeth. Your fingers digging into the back of his hand whilst his other hand works it's way up your body, finger trailing the light contours of it before resting his large hand over your breast, thumb grazing over the already hardened nipple.

"Shit-" You sigh heavily, clenching around his length another time with your lip bitten, glaring up at him with sultry but soft eyes, pleading eyes.

"More... Please." A smirk grows on Yunho's face, his eyebrows furrowing together from the pleasure of you tightly wrapped around him, the way you look at him now makes him unable to control himself.

Another graze of his thumb over your nipple makes you gasp with a slight whine, making you shut your eyes tightly with your mouth quivering at the pleasure you're receiving.

Now you're on cloud 9.

"So sensitive, just how I like it." Yunho growls lightly in your ear, his cock twitching already inside of you with your moans sounding so perfect in his ear. Taking it a step further he pinched at your nipple making you almost scream out, your hand slapping back over your mouth to keep quiet while your walls spasm around him, your orgasm creeping up on you quickly. Freeing your hand from his he has a quick squeeze of both of your tits before pulling out from you.

“What are you...” Your question was cut off when he effortlessly flipped you onto your stomach and lifting your hips entering you again, knocking the air from your lungs once again. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to hold himself off for, he was getting close before but now you’re on all fours and he has a perfect view of your ass bouncing with each thrust he was going insane.

He couldn’t help himself, his hands had a mind of their own as one gripped one cheek with enough force to cause bruising while the other delivered slap so hard the sound rang through the room and his hand print became visible instantly. The impact had you lurching forward, burying your face in the sheets to cry out in pleasure. Yunho leaned down towards you, his chest flush against your back as he snaked a hand around to hold you by the throat, pulling you up with him keeping your bodies as close as possible.

“Let me hear that again Princess.” He growled into your ear biting the lobe and giving you a particularly harsh thrust making you cry out again, but this time with no sheet to muffle you.

“C...close.” You warn him before another sting of moans leave you uncontrollably as your walls clamp down on him, your orgasm threatening to break. He was unbelievably close now, your walls around him like a vice.

“Cum for me Princess.” And just like that your body gave in to his command, your muscles tensing as your high rushed through you, your nails digging into his thighs in an attempt to ground yourself. He set you back down on the sheets, needing all the strength he had left to chase his own high, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he grips your ass again using it to help with momentum. It didn’t take much longer before Yunho reached his high, pulling out from you and pumping his cum over your ass. He’d be weak at the knees if he wasn’t already on them from the sight of you, fucked out, his hand print burning red on your ass covered with his cum.

Sitting back on his heels he took a moment to catch his breath and let himself come around for a moment while you’d flopped down completely flat needing the same moment as him to come back to earth.

“Stay there a sec, I’ll clean you up.” Yunho said in a horse voice running his hand over your lower back before getting to his feet and searching the room for something to clean you with.

“Is that your t-shirt?” You ask turning your head to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“It was in the hamper it needs to be washed anyway...don’t look at me like that, it’s either this or you’re not getting cleaned up at all.” You let out a small chuckle, he was right after all.

After getting dressed again and fixing yourselves up you both sat on the bed, a now comfortable silence falling over you, that was before Yunho turned to you.

“I never said I hated you.”

“Hmm?” You turn your head to face him, your eyes slightly wider.

“You said earlier that I hated you, I’ve never once said I hate you because in all honesty I don’t.”

“I thought you did, why else would you always argue with me and give me dirty looks?” He ran a hand over his face trying to think of a response, this was difficult for him, he didn’t know how open to be with you, the person who did actually hate him.

“I don’t know, all I know is we didn’t have a good first meeting, I was having a bad day that day and wasn’t the most approachable person and I guess that was a bad first impression that stuck.” You felt a small pang of guilt hit you in the chest.

“Look, I don’t want to drag this on for any longer I just want you to know I’ve never hated you and I’ve always wanted to get to know you but I fucked that up straight away and seeing how you are with the others made me jealous and I guess I couldn’t hide it and it made everything worse.” You slide your hand over his that was resting on his thigh, holding it lightly as comfort.

“Can we maybe start over, we can go for a coffee some time, call it a date if you want.” He laughed lightening the tension.

“I’d like that.” You smile back at him.

“Water under the bridge?”

“Water under the bridge, do we call Seonghwa to come and let us out now” You ask remembering you were locked in the room. Yunho got to his feet and knocked on the door calling out to Seonghwa to open the door. No answer. Out of curiosity he tried the door anyway, surprised to see it was never locked in the first place. With a confused glance back at you he opened the door letting you walk out first to get back to the rest of the group only to be met with a mix of confused and disgusted looks from the boys.

“Guys, I know we wanted you to sort your shit out but we thought you’d talk it out not fuck it out.” Hongjoong piped up shivering slightly as he remembered what they all heard from their side of the door. Your cheeks flushed a bright shade of red from embarrassment but Yunho on the other hand donned a coy smile which soon turned into a proud smirk.

“Well we’re not arguing anymore so you got what you wanted.” Yunho answered back taking a seat next to him.

“Well at least now I can charge my phone.” San sighs getting to his feet and heading towards his and Yunho’s room. The embarrassment had faded quickly as things got back to normal with all the guys conversing.

“YUNHO YOU’RE FUCKING SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!” San yelled from the bedroom making you and Yunho exchange wide eyes, realisation hitting you that it was San’s bed you’d just fucked on. Yunho knew he had a lot of making up to do now.

Tag List: @stardragongalaxy @kpopjust4u @whatudowhennooneseesyou @8tinytings @jenotation @grim-adventures58 @owjohny @ker1 @tinkerbell460 @haylstoney @scuzmunkie @halesandy @multihunbun @kodzukein @maskedmochii @queenwiinks @hellomingi @woosannie

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lurkingshan · 3 months

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Sahara Sensei to Toki-kun Final Review

I was planning to just chalk this one up to every project having a flop, let this subpar Drama Shower show finish quietly, and move on to the next, but that finale was so egregiously bad that I can't let it pass. This is an angry rant so read at your own risk.

Let me just preface this by saying that I am not opposed to media about taboo relationships, particularly from Japan. Exploring taboo is a big part of the Japanese media landscape, and I have seen it done quite well in many Japanese works. I did not come into this show set against the idea of the relationship at its core (age gap, teacher/student), but I did need to see the show engage with the idea of it responsibly, and demonstrate that if they were going to end up together, that would actually be good for our protagonist, Toki.

This show utterly failed on both fronts. At no point in the course of this show did the story engage seriously with the fact that Sahara is 1) an adult teacher with professional obligations and standards of conduct to meet; 2) Toki's direct homeroom teacher who is responsible for guiding him. Instead, the story told us over and over again that none of this mattered. Not a single other character in this story was alarmed by the idea of Sahara dating his student. When Sahara "accidentally" kissed Toki in the school play in front of the entire school, there were no consequences. Sahara flirted with and touched Toki openly, at school, in front of others, and no one cared. Toki blew off his assignments in favor of focusing on and flirting with Sahara, and Sahara didn't care or help guide him back to focusing on his work. When Sahara's ex flame, who is also a teacher, found out he had feelings for his student, he encouraged him to pursue it. There was not a single character in this story who professed any concern for Toki's well-being once they knew his teacher was pursuing him.

And they damn well should have, because as we saw for ourselves in this very episode, this relationship with Sahara encouraged Toki to hide his problems, refuse to ask for help, and get himself hurt. And why? Because he didn't want to be embarrassed about being bullied or look weak in front of his teacher boyfriend. This is exactly why teachers are not supposed to cross these lines with their students. Toki needed Sahara to be a safe adult he could talk to and ask for help when he needed it a lot more than he needed someone to flirt with. And because Sahara did not maintain appropriate boundaires, Toki did not feel comfortable going to him to do his actual job.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg with this episode's sins. Toki's arc in this show completely fell apart. We started this story with the idea that he was a nice kid with a good heart who just needed to believe there was a future for him to work toward, but rather than completing that arc for him, this episode was about establishing a childhood connection between him and Sahara so that the show could give them a Fated Destiny excuse to get together. We spent most of this episode justifying Sahara confessing to his student rather than getting to see Toki grow or being shown anything to make us believe this relationship is actually good for Toki. No, this show decided to make that claim entirely via an expository voiceover right before Toki literally chucked his diploma into the bushes to jump on Sahara and tell him he liked him. What a fucking metaphor and perfect encapsulation of the message from this disaster of a story.

This show was a mess with no idea what it was trying to say, no grasp on the dynamics it was playing with, and no care whatsoever for its characters or the messages it was putting out into the world. I don't respect it and I absolutely cannot recommend it.

#sahara sensei to toki kun #japanese bl #shan shouts into the void

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carelessflower · 1 year

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rating shtv jace questionable moment

let be honest, it will mostly be season one plus two offending screenshots from season two. critical analysis only when i want to, the rest depends. the descent into hell is easy after all

5/10 - see? sh writers can write, first scene with jace they already show how he treat alec the rest of the season.

6/10 - that his job

3/10 - friendly reminder, alec was the acting head at this point aka jace's boss, it's his duty to report any strange occurrence at the institute and now you brought a STRANGE girl into HIS institute, i dont know, just a thought

3/10 - yes it kinda is, and it's alec choice at that seeing how he your superiors

3/10 - jace would be a shit head for the ny institute if a random pretty girl make him act like this. and again, it normal alec get suspicious at clary, because he, you know, can actually think through situations and not dive in first like a headless chicken

4/10 - yes, he has working brain cells

2/10 - dont you love it when the dude you supposedly share half your soul dismiss your valid concerns regarding your life

5/10 - if he's as you said you would be six feet under or in some ceils not here talking shit

1/10 - yes alec stop, don't you know jace is allergic to reasoning

2/10 - he knows you should be supportive of your parabatai

1/10 - all i can say is if a stranger comes into my life, not caring for anything but herself and jeopardizing my job, i would let out far worse things than angry rant

3/10 - no wonder jace fancies clary, they are never ready to hold themselves or each other accountable for anything. true love

🚩🚩🚩/10 - right before this izzy LITERALLY said clary go out WILLINGLY i have no words, alec's way too nice i would have 'oh this you' and drag jace daddy issue to filth back i would go lower than hell. by the way jace never apologize for this so. flop

0/10 - proceed to lose her next episodes

4/10 - flop. flop parabatai of the year

2/10 - funny how jace only bring up the parabatai bond when he needs alec to do something for himm hmmmm. it giving suspicious it giving affection with conditions it giving manipulation

-♾️/10 - that a totally normal thing to say about your brother, the one who you share a lifetime bond with. i normally wish jace choke on a porcupine

0/10 - jace only contribution to the parabatai bond is 2x03 and when he use his nepotism to transfer the head of ny institute position to alec. and even with alec already on his way to that title before imogen swooped in

5/10 - ooh be making that face now suddenly you care? dont make me laugh

0/10 - jace lies so well, all that practice telling himself he looks handsome every morning paid off

0/10 - my three year old cousin has more critical thinking than these two

0/10 - jace the one to talk he's incapable of seeing anything outside clary

-/10 - for whither thou storest, I will steal, and where thou trust, I will trust to betray.

💀/10 - took them ten episodes to have alec FINALLY punch somebody for joking, using his sexuality against him when he's clearly NOT ready to talk about it. yeah fuck shit up baby

2/10 - oh okay, let talk about how you and clary fuck off to somewhere with the cup when the clave and a race supremacist massacre advocate cult leader are both hunting for it. then you and she proceed to play house with your newly discovered fake dad and left alec to deal with the mess. oh, did i mention izzy's complicit in your scheme and you left her there at the mercy of the clave?

1/10 - your saving cause more problems than elon musk to twt get over yourself

4/10 - selfish intentions + selfish actions = season one clace. a match made in heaven

6/10 - passable apology but why he cant just resist making it all about him lmaoooo

4/10 - the only joke here is your life

tag list: @dustandducks @cityofdownwardspirals @magnus-the-maqnificent @onetimetwotimesthreetimess @wildesummerchild @cam-ryt @khaleesiofalicante

#shadowhunters #anti show jace #anti shtv jace #alec lightwood #im a hater with proof

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sysmedsaresexist · 2 months

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[Puts on safari hat]

Welcome to the SysmedsareSexist Syscourse Safari. Now we have a beaut today, real wonder of nature, this ugly little beastie right here.

First, we see this tumblr pro-endo in their natural habitat — namely, every tag imaginable. It’s the ideal way for them to spread their pheromones far and wide in an effort to attract as much attention as possible. Now, this is meant to attract mutuals and agreement as much as predators — those predators being anyone they disagree with. Any attention is good attention for this species of ableist pro-endo.

Now, to further this spread, the ableist pro-endo has used some very interesting tactics. First, they flopped like a dead fish into the syscourse tag with a bunch of hyperbole; exaggerating DID systems reactions and misery. This is a sure fire way to stir up anger, as it’s mocking people with severe childhood trauma for being upset with their lives. Then, the ableist pro-endo suggests they’re wrong about their systemhood, which angers the pro-endo DID systems who are against fakeclaiming and assuming things about other people’s systems. This also comes with the bonus trait, unique to some pro-endo ableists, of spreading massive amounts of easily debunked misinformation about a disorder! Really talented stuff here today. Lastly, they blame all of this on anti-endos, just to be sure they’ve sprayed everywhere they can.

So they’ve really worked to maximize their engagement. It’s certainly going to get lots of people swooping in, so they did something (and this part is really clever here) — they sprayed a noxious gas of “I’m one of you” at everyone. See, they said, “We have dissociation,” as a sort of area-of-affect spray that poisons everyone who comes into contact with them in any critical way. All those who (rightfully) call out this bad behavior is subject to the You’reAbleistToMe virus, which is hell to sit and wait out, let me tell you.

Only way to combat this particular beastie? Live and let die! Thankfully, these ableist pro-endos have a very short life-span, so long as they’re starved of that engagement they’re seeking. Look out for these invasive species out there, folks, and be sure to wear a gas mask on these safaris! Hoowee, do these beasts STINK!

That’s all for today’s episode of Syscourse Safari. Tune in next time for when I finally wrastle that gator.

#syscourse #mod quill #syscourse Safari #ableism for the sake of activism is just ableism with a fresh coat of paint

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aardvaark · 7 months

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only murders in the building s3e8 spoilers under the cut (theories and thoughts)

i’m finally properly up to date

DAMN i’d seen the theory that loretta was dickie’s mother on this app, whoever that was, they were reallly ahead of the curve!

meryl streep is just such an incredible actor. nails the role every time.

okay so they said it was dickie, and he seemed to admit to it, which means it can’t be dickie. or, like, he can’t be the only one involved in the killing, at the very least.

right, so there is now a confirmed poisoning according to the detective (remember, before, the poisoning was technically just mabel’s speculation) which is good to know. i definitely think that ben was talking to cookies, and the cookies contained the poison.

what was getting shredded?? personally i think there’s a good chance that it was maxine’s review, but i’ll make a separate post about that. regardless, it’s definitely an important detail since they didn’t give us the answer this episode. what documents would be important? maybe the autopsy report - considered one was definitely faked or missing?

loretta just always has tape on her. normal

i know loretta points towards poison as a woman’s method, but they’ve all but outright said it’s a male murderer this time around (when they said how it was so strange and unlikely to have women as murderers both times so far).

i wonder if the pickwick triplets patter song is gonna give us some clue in hindsight… i’m trying to figure out if there could be a meaning in it. "should i look outside this nursery? what if none of the pickwick triplets did it?" makes me think that it’s perhaps no one in the cast of the musical… "who’d have had a menacing motive and hid it?" makes we think that the motive will be unexpected… ie it’s not just that someone thought ben was a dickhead or whatever.

lol i thought charles and oliver’s weird interruptions were to plant a much easier bug like their phone recorder i guess they did it in a weird complex old guy way

i feel like maxine has something she’s not telling us… not necessarily that she’s the murderer, but i just think she’s been introduced for a bigger reason. i mean, she was writing a pan. ben might have read her words and attacked her at the elevator, she pushed him away and he fell.

cliff and his mother do seem dodgy as i’ve said before… his mother basically says she’d do anything for her son, the son has pretty high stakes with this play, surely there’s some kinda insurance if a tragedy strikes or whatever… what would they do if they knew it was gonna flop? for example… if they’d read maxine’s review?

OLIVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

#omitb spoilers #omitb #only murders in the building #only murders s3 #omitb theories #omitb season 3 #wren speaks

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all-the-things-2020 · 3 months

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Late Night Talking - Chapter Four

Summary: Things are moving along. The G word is used. Emily spends the night at Dieter’s place.

Rating: PG-13 (implied sex but nothing graphic)

Tagging @rhoorl @gwendibleywrites @avastrasposts

Notes: The Cheech is a real art museum in Riverside.

Dieter and I had been seeing each other for about a month. We’d managed to go out at least once a week and talked on the phone almost every night. Things were still low key. We’d visited the Cheech (Dieter was really into art; his mother had been an artist and he dabbled in painting now and then), gone for a hike in the Santa Monica Mountains, had a picnic at the Citrus Park. Nothing fancy, nothing that would attract attention.

Tonight, we were hanging out at his place, snuggling on the couch and watching random shows on Netflix. I had to go back to work in a few weeks, and I hoped that once I wasn’t available on weekdays, we wouldn’t drift apart. His schedule was different all the time, and I knew he had a project coming up that would require him to be out of town for several weeks.

We hadn’t slept together yet. I was wary of taking that step when I wasn’t sure exactly how things were going to work out, and he hadn’t put any pressure on me, even though he’d made more than a few hints. For now, I was content to keep things as they were. We’d had a few heavy make out sessions, one in the back seat of his car that had led to an embarrassing incident with a police officer who seemed surprised to find two middle-aged people steaming up a car’s windows.

I wasn’t even sure what we were watching anymore, since I was so comfortable in Dieter’s arms that I was ready to doze off. I jumped when his phone rang on the coffee table. He chuckled and rubbed his hands up and down my arms. “Easy there,” he said, leaning forward to look at the phone screen. “Oh, it’s my agent. I’ve got to take this.” He snatched up the phone and answered the call.

“Hey,” he said. “No, no, it’s fine. Just hanging out with my girlfriend. So what’s up?”

He wriggled out from under me and walked into the other room, away from the noise of the television. I sat on the couch, stunned. Had he just referred to me as his girlfriend? We hadn’t talked about where this thing was going, hadn’t discussed whether we were exclusive or how serious either of us was.

He disappeared for a while, leaving me to stare at the TV until Netflix asked “Are you still there?” I stirred enough to press the button on the remote, and it started playing the next episode of whatever we’d been watching. Dieter came back in and tossed his phone back on the table. He flopped down on the couch and pulled me into his lap.

“He’s got me an audition for a rom-com,” he said. “Finally, something that isn’t an action flick. Keep your fingers crossed.”

“That’s great news,” I said. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to relax until I knew for sure. “Um, did you mean what you said?”

“What did I say?,” he asked distractedly, busy with the remote looking through the Netflix menu.

“You … you told him you were hanging out with your girlfriend,” I said carefully. “Did you mean that? Am I your girlfriend?”

He dropped the remote. “Shit,” he said. He ran one hand through his hair, making it even messier than usual. “Um, yeah, I know we haven’t really talked about things, but … yeah, I do think of you as my girlfriend.”

I turned around in his lap to face him. “So does that make you my boyfriend?” I asked, cupping his face with one hand.

He smiled. “I guess it does,” he said. I leaned forward and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. “Oh, yeah, definitely your boyfriend,” he said between kisses.

I sat back. “We should probably talk about this,” I said. “I mean, I’m going back to work soon, and I don’t know how often we’ll be able to see each other. This is kind of going to be a long-distance relationship, you know.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I know, but I’m cool with that. It’s not ideal, but we’ll make it work. We can spend the weekends together, maybe I can come out during the week sometimes … we’ll manage.”

“About that,” I said. “If we’re going to be spending the weekends together, maybe it’s time we … um, take the next step? I mean, if we’re serious about each other.”

“Oh, I’m very serious,” he said, his hands sliding down to my hips. “So very, very serious about you.” He kissed me fiercely and I wrapped my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his hair, messing it up even more. After a few minutes, he reached onto the coffee table for the remote and clicked the television off.

“Let’s move this into the bedroom,” he murmured.

“Sounds good to me,” I replied, feeling giddy. He stood up and held out his hand. I took it and he led me off to bed.

***********************************

I woke up long before the sun came up. As I crawled out of bed, Dieter stirred. “Where you goin’?” He mumbled.

“Have to pee,” I whispered back. He grunted and buried his face in the pillow. I stumbled through the darkened house to the bathroom, still half asleep myself. I flicked on the light and immediately regretted it. I had to screw my eyes shut against the blinding glare, and fumbled for the switch. Of course, that meant I was effectively blind until my eyes readjusted and I nearly missed the toilet.

I was laughing as I made my way back to the bedroom. “What's so funny?” Dieter said, his voice muffled through the pillow. “Are you looking at my ass?”

“No,” I said, slipping back under the covers. “I just blinded myself with the bathroom light and almost killed myself.”

“Oh, okay, then,” he said. He pulled me close and pressed a kiss against my forehead. “Now shut up and let me sleep.”

“You’re grumpy when you’re sleepy,” I replied.

“Less talk, more sleep,” he said, pulling his pillow over his head.

************************************

The sun was high by the time we finally got up the next morning. Dieter was definitely not a morning person. He was not talkative at all, pulling on an old t-shirt and a pair of shorts before stumbling to the kitchen to turn on the coffee maker. I picked my clothes up off the bedroom floor, got dressed, and followed him.

“Want some breakfast?” I asked, opening the refrigerator to see what he had. I always wake up starving, for some reason.

“Um,” he grunted, slumped on a stool at the kitchen island.

“Is that a yes or a no?,” I laughed. I smoothed his messy hair back from his face and kissed his forehead.

“Yes,” he said. “Coffee first, though.”

I found some eggs, butter, and a loaf of bread on the counter. “How do you like your eggs?” I asked, not expecting much of an answer. He was busy preparing his coffee and didn’t hear me at first. “I said … how do you like your eggs?”

“Hmm, oh, runny, please,” he said before taking a deep gulp of coffee. He sighed and sank back down onto his seat.

“Sunny side up, coming right up,” I said brightly, as I put the frying pan on the stove. He flipped me off.

“Gee, I’d think you’d be nicer to me after what I let you do to me last night,” I teased.

“You loved it,” he retorted, clearly starting to react to the caffeine.

“Yeah, I did,” I admitted. I tossed a pat of butter into the hot frying pan. “How many eggs?”

“Two,” he said, standing up, carrying his coffee mug with him. He stood right behind me, putting his chin on my shoulder.

“Back off,” I said. “I can’t cook if you’re on top of me like that.”

“Oh, sorry, thought you liked that,” he teased. I elbowed him in the stomach and he stepped back with an “oof.”

I cracked a couple of eggs into the pan, then popped some toast into the toaster while they started to fry. “Make yourself useful and get some plates,” I told him.

“I’d think you’d be nicer to me after what I did to you last night,” he replied. I flipped him off and he laughed. He was definitely responding to the caffeine.

I finished his eggs, plated them, and started on my own. His toast popped up and I slathered it with butter for him. “Go ahead,” I said. “Don’t let it get cold.”

He broke the yolks on his eggs, dipped in his toast and took a big bite. “Mmm, you’re definitely a keeper,” he said after he’d swallowed.

“Eggs and toast aren’t that difficult,” I said. “Don’t get any grand ideas about me being a good cook or anything.” I pointed the spatula at him.

He held his hands up. “I would never assume,” he said. “Traditional gender roles have no place in this house.” He took another bite and pointed at the stove with his fork. “Your eggs are burning.”

“Oh, shit,” I said, quickly pulling the pan off the burner, narrowly saving my breakfast from ruin. Fortunately, my toast came out perfectly.

After breakfast (and two more cups of coffee for Dieter), he did the dishes and retired to the shower. When he returned, he was dressed in a nicer t-shirt and a clean pair of shorts. “You actually look alive now,” I told him.

“It takes me a while,” he admitted. “Hope that’s not going to be a problem.”

“No,” I said. “Lazy mornings are just fine by me, when I can get away with it.” I pulled him down onto the couch next to me. “During the week, I’m in such a rush … this is nice.” I snuggled up next to him.

“So, what do you want to do today?,” he asked. “Go to the movies, take a hike, hit a museum?”

“Just hang out with my boyfriend,” I replied.

“Sounds good to me.”

********************************************************

As I drove home that afternoon, it hit me. I’d slept with a movie star. It hadn’t felt like that at the time. It was just me and Dieter, the guy I was crazy about, who called me every night and talked about stupid stuff until we were both tired enough to call it a night. It had felt natural, easy. But as I steered through traffic on the 10 I realized the implications of our actions.

I was Dieter’s girlfriend. He’d said it. That meant we were exclusive. Things were serious. And now I was part of his story. A story that was plastered all over the Internet and social media and magazines any time he did anything remotely news worthy. A story I would be featured in if we went somewhere public, if he mentioned me in an interview. Part of me — the part that had always told herself it didn’t matter that she hadn’t been asked to the dance because she didn’t want to go anyway — wanted to flaunt it to the world.

A bigger part of me was scared shitless. I hated having my picture taken. I always volunteered to be the photographer on outings, feeling safer behind the camera than in front of it. I offered to help in the kitchen at parties, help clear up after meetings. I liked being in the background, part of something but never the focus. Dieter lived in a huge spotlight. He was the main character of not only his own life, but most events around him. I wasn’t sure I could handle that amount of attention.

But then I thought of him when we were alone, just the two of us together. He felt right. We felt right. My head fit against his shoulder like we were two puzzle pieces. He’d told me bits and pieces about his life, things I suspected he hadn’t told anyone else besides his therapist. I told him stuff, too, surprising myself with my candor. It wasn’t just physical intimacy between us. It was emotional, mental, intellectual.

I tried to concentrate on the traffic. I knew Sam would tell me I was still in the infatuation stage, and tease me that the man must be good in bed if I was so discombobulated by being dicked down for the first time. But I knew it wasn’t that. Or at least not just that.

It scared me. Because for the first time in my life, I felt like the main character of my own story, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be a star.

By the time I got home, I had a raging tension headache from driving. I flipped through my mail, took some ibuprofen and settled down on the couch to text Sam.

ME: Hey

SAM: Oh, you’re still alive. Starting to wonder.

ME: Ha ha very funny. I just got home.

SAM: From yesterday’s date? No way. I want details!

ME: It was good.

SAM: You fucked a celebrity and all you tell me is it was good? That’s bs.

ME: I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. It was good but awkward. You know how it is.

SAM: Excuse me, BOYFRIEND? When did this go from ‘we’re kind of seeing each other’ to ‘he’s my BOYFRIEND’? You skipped a big chunk.

ME: Last night. Look, are you going to be serious about this?

SAM: Of course. Sorry. Go on.

I wasn’t sure what to tell her. What had happened between me and Dieter was private. I wanted to keep it that way, but at the same time, Sam had always been my safe person, the one I could tell just about anything to because she lived so far away and wasn’t part of my day to day life.

ME: He got a phone call from his agent. He told the guy he was just ‘hanging out with his girlfriend.’ I asked him if he meant it. He said yes.

SAM: So this is serious.

ME: Very serious. Sam, I don’t know what I’m doing! Dieter is amazing. He’s funny and smart and he just gets me.

SAM: And he’s hot.

ME: Yeah, and he’s hot. But it’s summer and I have all this free time and I feel like a kid on vacation. What’s going to happen once I’m back at work and we’re both busy and he’s off filming something and we hardly see each other? How long can we keep this up?

SAM: If it’s meant to be, you’ll figure it out. But you won’t know unless you try. And sweetie, even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll have a hell of a story to tell when we’re in the retirement community knitting socks.

(We had a long standing joke that even though we lived so far apart, we’d eventually end up living in the same senior center and spend our days knitting socks and drinking mimosas between bingo games.)

ME: It doesn’t feel like a fling. But it can’t be the real thing, can it? I mean, he’s got a fucking Oscar on his bookshelf, Sam. I saw it. Just sitting there like a knickknack.

SAM: So what? Thom’s got a degree from Harvard hanging on the wall. Doesn’t make him better than me. Look, Em, loosen up. Enjoy yourself. You always look for the crash that might be coming instead of enjoying the ride. Maybe he’s the One. Maybe he isn’t. But right now, he’s yours. No one else’s. Just yours.

ME: You’re right. You’re always right. I should let you go. Give Thom and the kids a hug from me.

SAM: Only if you give Dieter one from me! Can’t wait to let that name drop next time I have to see that bitch Lana, ha ha!

I always felt better after chatting with Sam. She had a way of taking the blinders off of me, letting me see more than just the narrow path ahead that I imagined, strewn with rocks and danger. She’d helped me through losing both my parents, layoffs and furlough days at work, and various other bumps in the road, keeping me focused on the silver lining of even the darkest cloud.

Dieter wasn’t a dark cloud. He was sunlight and moonbeams and starshine. All I had to do was step out into the light.

#pedro pascal character fanfiction #dieter bravo #dieter bravo x ofc #dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo fluff #late night talking

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fics-by-em · 11 months

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Amorous Facades

A wild night out leaves the lives of Jamie Tartt and Ophelia Adams more intertwined than they ever would have imagined.

Will their decision to try and use the situation to their advantage work out in their favour or will they realize that they should have cut their losses when they had the chance?

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Note: This is my first foray into Ted Lasso fanfiction so please be kind!

The story starts between episodes five and six of season two and while I will stick as close to the story as possible, things may be changed slightly or added as necessary!

I have a big chunk of the story planned out, but this is the only chapter I have written so far. I couldn't resist posting it to see what people think and gauge the response so please let me know what you think and hopefully there will be more chapters ready soon! :)

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Ophelia ‘Lia’ Adams was not a party animal.

She didn’t mind the occasional drink and had even been known to get drunk every once in a while, but going out to clubs every weekend and staying out all night was not her idea of a good time.

However, Lia was a good friend with a tendency to be a little too self-sacrificing and that was how she’d been roped into throwing on a dress that was far too short to be decent and sipping on a tequila shot as she got herself ready for a wild night out.

“You’re supposed to drink it all in one go,” her friend, Katie, teased her as she flopped onto her bed. “It’s a shot, not a cocktail.”

“I know, but shots always make me feel sick.”

“Right,” Katie giggled. “I forgot you’re like twenty-four going on sixty.”

Lia huffed, rolling her eyes in the mirror as she straightened her hair and mumbled out a quiet and half-hearted ‘am not’ in protest.

“You are,” Katie insisted. “But I appreciate that you’re actually coming out tonight so I won’t tease you about it too much.”

“Good, because I can still change my mind,” Lia pointed out. “Where are we going anyway?”

“Club 95!”

The grin that slid onto Katie’s face made her excitement clear, but Lia raised an eyebrow.

“And how are we planning to get in there? Isn’t it basically exclusive to celebrities? People like us usually just spend the night queuing up outside places like that praying that we’ll get in.”

“Not tonight,” Katie practically sang with glee. “Daniel has a connection - through his uncle or something - and he got us all on the guest list.”

As soon as the name left her mouth, Lia’s head snapped around so fast she almost ripped the hair clamped in her straightener right out of her head.

“Daniel’s going to be there? You never told me that!”

“Of course he is,” Katie rolled her eyes. “He’s Mike’s best friend.”

Mike was Katie’s boyfriend and considering the reason they were even going out was to celebrate his birthday, it did make sense that his best friend would be there, but the thought still made Lia’s skin crawl.

Daniel was sleezy. There was no other way to describe him. He consistently made her uncomfortable with unwanted advances and he was completely undeterred by the fact that she rejected him every single time. Of course, he mostly accosted her when they were alone, but Katie and Mike had seen him in action harassing other women so she really had no idea why Mike insisted on being his friend. Whenever she confronted him about it, Mike would shrug and remind her that he’d known him since they were kids before insisting that he wasn’t really that bad and Lia would huff, roll her eyes and eventually decided to just do her best to avoid any events he might be at in the future. She’d so successfully avoided being in his company that she’d almost forgot he existed and she cursed herself for slipping up.

A sigh fell from her lips as she quickly lifted the tequila shot off of the dresser in front of her and finally downed what was left in the tiny glass. She heard Katie let out a cheer at her sudden enthusiasm, but Lia rolled her eyes as she held out the shot glass for a refill.

“There’s no way I can spend an evening in Daniel’s company if I’m sober.”

“Well, then you better pick up the pace,” Katie informed her as she poured them both another shot. “Because they’re going to be here in about half an hour.”

With a groan, Lia felt even the slightest hint of potential excitement for the evening slipping away. Knowing it was too late to back out, she tossed back the shot as soon as it was poured in the hopes that she could get herself feeling fuzzy enough by the time that Daniel was present to find him at least mildly tolerable.

When Mike and Daniel first arrived at the flat that Lia and Katie shared, it almost seemed like Daniel had turned over a new leaf in the months since Lia had seen him. He seemed calmer, less conceited and less misogynistic than she remembered him being and she relaxed slightly as she thought that maybe the night could still be fun after all. However, when they were leaving and she bent over to do up the zip on the heeled boots she was wearing and his hand ‘grazed’ her ass, she realized that his apparent change was too good to be true.

She’d jumped away from him with a squeak of displeasure, but he’d simply smirked and brushed it off as an accident caused by the narrow hallway and the close proximity it created. Lia didn’t buy it and flashed him a glare, but Katie’s pleading eyes had her letting it go in an attempt to keep the peace. She reluctantly laughed it off, but any glimmer of hope for civility between them had disappeared.

And it only got worse when they got to the club.

As promised, Daniel had led them past the long queue of people desperate for a way through the swanky red ropes at the door and straight inside, but as they settled in a booth in a dark back corner, it became clear that Daniel expected more than just a thank you for his efforts. With Katie and Mike tucked together on the opposite side of the table - distracted by each other - the occasional squeeze of Lia’s knee or stroke of her thigh went mostly unnoticed by them despite her growing discomfort and simmering rage. She kept up the steady pace of her drinking, but the nagging thought that it might be better to keep her wits about her was rising in her mind the more handsy that Daniel got. However, when Katie and Mike announced they were heading to the dancefloor and Daniel took advantage of the moment when Lia stood up to follow them to pull her down into his lap, her fury and disgust had her storming towards the bar to get another drink the moment she could drag herself out of his grip.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to loudly and openly demand that Daniel stop groping her and warn him never to touch another woman without her consent again. But it was Mike’s birthday and she also didn’t want to ruin his night.

So, the scream stayed in her throat, tightening and constricting her ability to breath until she was worried that she might pass out if she didn’t get something to take the edge off of her frustration soon. The busy club and crowded space in front of the bar did nothing to ease her anxiety as it slowed her pursuit of relief, but her restraint was finally broken when she felt an arm slide around her waist and smelt the waft of a cologne that told her the arm belonged to Daniel.

“Stop!” Her voice was firm and the way she ripped herself away from him left no room for misinterpretation, but the smirk on his face told her that he wasn’t going to pay much attention to the request. “I don’t want you to touch me again!”

“Oh, come on, Lia! Don’t be so dramatic. Let me buy you a drink and we can hang out while Mike and Katie are having a dance.”

He moved closer, but Lia stayed strong and held out her arm to keep some distance between them.

“No, I don’t want to do that. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

He moved closer and Lia felt her throat tightening even more as panic gripped her until Daniel suddenly paused his advances and she felt a different arm drape loosely over her shoulders. She tensed as she turned to see who was touching her now and was surprised to see an unfamiliar face.

“Hiya, babe!” The greeting was overly familiar for a stranger, but the soft smile on his face urged her to play along and had her relaxing into his body. “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”

“I didn’t know we were coming here.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie as she hadn’t known where they would be spending their evening, but considering she didn’t know the man who had come to her rescue she wouldn’t have been able to tell him if she had. The entire interaction had stopped Daniel in his tracks, but Lia found the complete shock on his face a little offensive. It looked almost as if the idea of another man being interested in her was incomprehensible for him, but the man holding her spoke up again before he could voice his disbelief.

“Is this guy bothering you?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but Daniel found his confidence again and cut her off.

“Are you serious?” He asked, mouth agape. “You know Jamie Tartt the footballer?”

Still slightly unsure of what exactly was happening, Lia shrugged noncommittally, but smiled sweetly at the man - apparently ‘Jamie’ - as she felt him tighten his grip.

“Yeah, mate,” he confirmed, the word sounding more like a threat than a term of endearment. “She knows me really well if you know what I’m sayin’ so I suggest you piss off.”

Daniel hesitated as his eyes flicked between them as if he was puzzling out whether or not he was being fooled and Lia held her breath as she silently prayed that they’d been convincing enough, only relaxing when he finally scoffed and shook his head.

“Whatever, she’s not worth the hassle.”

He didn’t stick around for a reaction to his parting shot, but Jamie waited until he’d stormed off and disappeared into the crowd to let his arm fall from her shoulders.

“Do you know him?”

“Unfortunately.”

A sigh fell from her lips as she nodded her head and despite the loud music blasting out from the dancefloor, she heard the disbelief in his voice loud and clear as he asked his next question.

“Is he your friend?”

“No,” she said firmly, shaking her head. “Not at all.”

“Good, because he seems like an absolute prick.”

His blunt honesty had a giggle slipping past her lips as she nodded in agreement.

“That is a pretty spot on assessment,” she admitted. “So, thank you very much for coming to my rescue, Jamie Tartt the footballer.”

“You’re welcome,” he nodded before flashing her a smirk. “Now, why don’t you buy me a drink? You know, for being so chivalrous.”

It was a bold - borderline cocky - request, but Lia found herself laughing again as there was something about her knight in shining armor that put her at ease. He wasn’t arrogant in the off-putting way that Daniel was, it was more of an endearing self-confidence that he exuded. She didn’t even want to think about what could have happened had he not just stepped in and scared Daniel off so she eagerly and happily led him to the bar to compensate him for his kindness.

The biggest downside that Lia found to being an inexperienced drinker was that her low level of exposure to alcohol made her much more susceptible to hangovers than those who were used to drinking copious amounts of liquor.

And when she woke up the night after Mike’s birthday celebrations, she was immediately reminded of that fact.

Her stomach churned, her head throbbed and before she even opened her eyes it felt like she was feeling worse and worse with every passing moment. The more the fogginess of sleep drained from her mind, the more pains and discomfort she became aware of and she briefly wondered if she’d finally gone too far and might actually die from her hangover as she felt like there was truly no way that she could feel worse than she did in that moment.

That is, until she felt the bed shift as the person who was apparently laying beside her rolled over and let out a groan. A groan that definitely didn’t belong to her female flatmate.

Her eyes snapped open as panic took over and had her heart pounding in her chest. The room she was in was unfamiliar to her. The sheets she was wrapped in were far too expensive to be her own. She realized that she had no idea where she was and as she also began to realize that she couldn’t remember much of the night, her panic began to grow. The memory of her interaction with Daniel haunted her, but even though he was a horrible and misogynistic sleaze, she clung to a shred of hope that he wouldn’t be awful enough to take advantage of her if she was delirious - or do anything himself to get her in such a state.

With her thudding heartbeat echoing in her ears, she slowly rolled over and was instantly flooded with relief.

“Oh, thank god,” she let out the breath she’d been holding. “It’s you.”

Beside her was not the man who’d spent most of the part of the evening that she could recall harassing her, but the man who had saved her from him. His name - Jamie Tartt the footballer - sprang into her head as did a few blurry memories of the start of their evening together, but how she’d ended up in his bed was still a mystery to her.

“Course it’s me,” Jamie huffed, cracking an eye to look at her with a grimace on his face that told her he was feeling much the same as she was. “Who were you expecting?”

“No one,” Lia admitted. “I expected to wake up in my own bed, alone.”

Jamie grunted in response, letting his eye drift shut again as a silence settled between them until Lia worked up the courage to ask the question that was burning in her mind.

“Did we…uh…Did we…you know?”

If she had the energy to be embarrassed then Lia imagined her cheeks would probably be burning from her childish attempt at asking if they’d had sex, but her current hungover state left her unable to care even when Jamie opened his eyes again and flashed her a smirk.

“Did we fuck?” He clarified, waiting for her to nod before he half-heartedly attempted to shrug. “If I’m bein’ honest with ya, I can’t remember. But based on the fact that I still have my pants on and I’m not even under the blanket, I’m gonna say no.”

Another sigh of relief slipped from Lia's lips as he confirmed her suspicions. Her bra and underwear were still firmly in place despite her missing dress so she’d been hopeful that they hadn’t gone too far, but she had to admit that his handsome face and what she could see of his toned body were quite enticing and she couldn’t have blamed herself for giving into the temptation.

“That’s good, especially if we both can’t even remember it.”

Clearly a man of few words after such a heavy night of drinking, Jamie simply hummed in agreement, but as Lia gave up on conversation and let her arm fall over her face to shield her eyes from the sun streaming in through the window, Jamie seemed to find his voice.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he groaned. “And especially if you’re fuckin’ married!”

“What? I’m not married?” Lia dropped her arm back down to the bed as her brow furrowed in confusion, but Jamie quickly lifted it back up to show her the engagement ring and wedding band resting on her ring finger. However, even through the shock and confusion, the ring wrapped around his own finger didn’t escape her notice as her panic returned in full force. “Are you married?”

“No, what are you on about?”

The confusion in Jamie’s face matched her own, but an idea was taking root in Lia’s mind that she just couldn’t shake. It was ridiculous. It was unrealistic. It was something that only happened in movies. But it was starting to seem like the only explanation. Pulling her arm from Jamie’s grip, she moved to sit up as fast as her weary body would allow and she leaned back against the headboard as she racked her exhausted brain for any kind of answer. However, her movement and the shift of the blanket filled the room with the sound of crinkling paper and she noticed a picture resting on the duvet between their legs.

A picture that created almost as many questions as it answered.

A picture of her and Jamie kissing at an altar in what appeared to be their wedding.

“Oh, no, no, no, no,” Lia gasped, reaching for the picture to get a closer look. “This can not be happening.”

Jamie was still looking at her like she’d lost her mind until she held out the picture for him.

“Oh, fuck.” His eyes widened as he took the paper from her hand. “Are we married?”

“No, there’s no way,” Lia insisted, hopelessly wishing her brain was working at full capacity. “There’s no way that’s legal. We would have needed a marriage license and those take time. There’s laws about it, there’s rules you have to follow.”

“Not if you’re rich enough,” Jamie pointed out. “People will let you do anything for enough money.”

“I don’t have any money!”

“Okay, but I do.”

He said it like it was obvious, but it only added to Lia’s confusion.

“Who are you?” She asked, starting to sound as frantic as she felt. “I know you’re Jamie Tartt the footballer, but what does that mean?”

“It means I’m Jamie Tartt and a footballer,” he rather unhelpfully explained. “I play for AFC Richmond, like, professionally.”

“So, you’re basically like a celebrity?”

“I guess so, yeah. To some people.”

“And you have the money to bribe your way into a drunken, last minute marriage?”

“Probably,” Jamie shrugged. “Can’t say that I’ve ever tried.”

“How are you so calm about this?” The question made her exasperation clear, but she was panicking and his nonchalant demeanor was getting under her skin. “We’re married, Jamie! This is a nightmare.”

“First of all, that’s offensive,” he informed her, tossing the picture back down on the bed. “And I’m too fucking hungover to care. We don’t even know if it’s real.”

“Okay, but this,” Lia held her hand up in front of his face to remind him of her rings. “Makes it seem pretty real.”

“I dunno,” Jamie smirked, grabbing her wrist to stop her from moving her hand away. “Because if I was actually gonna propose, it wouldn’t be with a ring that cheap.”

“And surely it would be to someone whose name you actually know.”

“Course I know your name,” Jamie insisted. His tone was indignant, but as Lia patiently waited for him to elaborate, he quickly caved as he let go of her hand. “Alright, so maybe I can’t remember it right now, but I probably knew it last night.”

Lia stared at him for a moment before flopping back against the pillow and letting out a sigh as she raised a hand to rub at her temples in an attempt to soothe her pounding headache.

“It’s Lia,” she informed him. “This is crazy. What are we going to do?”

“Take a nap?” His suggestion was met with a huff of protest and a request for him to take it seriously, but he argued that he was. “I have training later, I need to sleep this off.”

It was a hard point to argue with when a nap did sound so appealing, but the uncertainty of the situation had Lia feeling overwhelmed and in her fragile state, her emotions bubbled to the surface.

“Please, Jamie,” Lia practically whispered, blinking back the tears that were welling up in her eyes. “We need to figure this out.”

The emotion in her voice caught Jamie’s attention and he flicked his eyes up to meet hers. There was concern on his face, but it was clear that he was fighting some kind of internal battle - probably between whether he should do something to ease her worries or stick with his plan to take a nap - until after a moment of deep thought, he let out a sigh and nodded his head.

“Alright, but can we at least stop to get a coffee on the way?”

“On the way where?”

“To Richmond,” he clarified, dragging himself out of bed and chivalrously passing Lia her dress that was on the floor by his feet. “I know some people who can probably help us.”

“Oh, perfect, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Jamie’s words were said with a sigh that made it clear to Lia just how much of a struggle it had been for him to get out of bed, but as he disappeared into the bathroom and she climbed out of bed herself, the effort that such a simple movement took made her realize that Jamie might have been on to something when he suggested they take a nap.

“Well, hello, Mr. and Mrs. Tartt.”

The greeting came from a tall, blonde woman who - from her seat behind a large desk - appeared to be the owner of the office Jamie had taken her to. Their entrance had also caught the attention of the other woman sitting by the desk and the dark haired man beside her. When they’d arrived at the football stadium, Lia had worried that Jamie had simply been trying to shut her up by saying he had someone who could help them and had instead brought her with him to the training he’d mentioned earlier with the expectation that she’d find her own way home, but she was reassured that it still seemed like he had some kind of plan.

“How do you know about that?”

Jamie pulled two more chairs over to the desk, gesturing for Lia to sit down as the woman who’d greeted them pointed to the newspaper in front of her. There on the front page was a copy of the picture they’d found when they woke up and a snappy headline about Tartt being off the market.

“Oh my god,” she groaned. “This is so bad. I still can’t believe that it’s even legal for a bar to host last minute weddings for incredibly intoxicated people!”

“Luckily, I don’t think it is,” the woman informed her before adding an introduction. “I’m Rebecca Welton, owner of AFC Richmond, and this is Keeley Jones, our head of marketing and Roy Kent, one of our coaches.”

“Nice to meet you,” Lia murmured. “I’m Lia Adams, probably one of the most embarrassed people in the country right now.”

“It’s alright,” Keeley assured her with a warm smile. “We all do stupid shit sometimes, everyone will forget all about it in a couple weeks.”

Rebecca nodded in agreement before adding, “So, what can we do for you both?”

“I thought you’d know what to do,” Jamie shrugged. “Help us figure out if it’s legal and all that.”

“I can reach out to some people that should be able to help,” Rebecca agreed, picking up her phone and quickly typing away. “But I can almost guarantee you that whatever ceremony you had last night was not legally binding.”

Relief washed over Lia as she sank back into her chair, hoping that Rebecca’s assurances would prove to be true.

“What’s the story with you two anyway?” Keeley asked. “How did you meet?”

“Last night at a bar,” Jamie informed them before smugly adding, “I saved her from some guy that was being a prick.”

“You only just met last night and decided to get married that fast? That’s so romantic!”

Keeley’s use of the word ‘romantic’ wasn’t exactly the one that Lia would have chosen, but Roy - who had been simply watching them intensely the whole time - spoke up before she could argue.

“Well, it makes sense,” he scoffed. “If she spent any longer in his company than she never would have agreed to marry him.”

“Shut up, old man,” Jamie shot back. “Don’t be such a dick.”

Anger flashed across Roy’s face, but a ping from Rebecca’s phone distracted everyone before he could answer.

“Ah, just what I thought,” she smiled as she read the message. “There is no way that you are actually legally married and my contacts found no trace of an application for a marriage license under either of your names.”

Hearing once and for all that they hadn’t made too much of a mess with their drunken wild adventure was almost enough to have Lia squealing with glee, but the headache that was still lingering in her poor, dehydrated brain had her settling for an ear to ear grin.

“Wow, thank you so much for your help. That was such a quick response.”

“I only work with the best,” Rebecca informed her, flashing her a wink. “So, you’re both free to go your separate ways.”

“Well, hang on a minute,” Jamie protested. “This could actually be good for me.”

“How so?”

The shock was clear in Lia’s voice, but as she looked around the room it seemed her confusion was shared by almost everyone there.

“Well, I have a bit of a bad reputation,” he admitted, providing Lia with more questions than answers. “And this might make people start giving me the benefit of the doubt. You know, if I’m a family man.”

There was a smirk on his face, but Lia wasn’t entirely sure that she liked what it seemed like he was suggesting as she pressed for more information.

“What kind of a bad reputation do you have?”

“People think that I’m a bit of a cocky prick who sleeps around a lot.”

“Because you are a cocky prick who sleeps around a lot.”

The interjection came from Roy, but Jamie kept his cool as he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I know, but I’m tryin’ to be better.”

“And what?” Lia questioned, her skepticism clear in her voice. “You want to marry me to help convince people that you’ve changed?”

“Not, like, for real,” he assured her. “But it’s already all over the papers, we can just let people think that it’s real.”

The suggestion had a giggle falling from Lia’s lips as she was so sure that there was no way he was serious until Keeley jumped into the conversation.

“It would actually probably help Jamie out a lot,” she reluctantly agreed. “It would be good for people to see that there’s another side to him.”

The shock that she felt hearing those words leave Keeley’s mouth had her so stunned that she was unable to formulate any kind of response. However, she was grateful that as she sat with her jaw dropped, trying to wrap her mind around what was happening, Rebecca - who appeared to be just as aghast as she was - chimed in with some sense.

“You’re not actually serious, are you?” She questioned. “How on earth could you sell it? He was just galavanting around on TV bragging about his sexual escapades, no one will believe this is some romantic love match.”

The longer the conversation went on, the more questions Lia had about the man sitting beside her, but before she could question what exactly Rebecca was referring to, Jamie had a solution to the problem she’d brought up.

“Could say that we were on a break,” he shrugged. “But she forgave me when I got home. I’ll even admit to running back with me tail between me legs, say that I only went on the show because I was so heartbroken.”

To Lia’s horror, it seemed that Jamie’s plan eased Rebecca’s doubts as her face shifted from disgust into something that seemed much more understanding.

“Okay, wait,” she spoke up, finally finding her voice. “I have a few questions about all this. Like, first of all, why were you bragging about your sexual escapades on TV?”

“I was on that island dating show a few months ago.”

She knew the one he was talking about and she cringed, knowing the type of people who went on that kind of show and the type of antics they got up to.

“And now you’re trying to rebrand yourself to change the public's perception of you?”

“I’m trying to be a better person,” he clarified. “And it would be nice if everyone didn’t assume that I’m still a prick.”

Roy scoffed, earning a quick ‘shh’ from Keeley, but Lia had to admit that she was leaning more towards sharing his skepticism. She liked to give people the benefit of the doubt and was a firm believer that even good people sometimes made bad decisions and were deserving of a second chance, but if it had only been a few months since he was on some trashy reality TV show then she was unsure of how much he could have changed in such a short amount of time.

“That’s admirable,” she relented. “But why do you want me to help you make that happen?”

“Because there’s already pictures of the two of you together all over the papers,” Keeley reminded her. “It would be an easier sell than if we found someone else to help out.”

“But none of you know anything about me. I could be a serial killer for all you know.”

“Are you?”

The question came from Jamie and the genuine concern on his face would have been amusing under different circumstances.

“No, but if I was then I probably wouldn’t admit it,” she pointed out. “It just seems crazy to me that you’re so willing to jump into some kind of arrangement with me when all you know about me is that sometimes I get drunk and make incredibly irresponsible decisions like getting ‘married’ to a handsome stranger.”

She saw a smirk sliding onto Jamie’s face that only had her annoyance growing, but she was quickly distracted by Keeley sheepishly waving her phone in the air.

“I’ve been creeping your social media while we’ve been sat here,” she admitted. “Obviously you could have some deep dark secrets that no one knows, but from what I can tell you seem like quite a sweetheart and you’re really fucking adorable.”

The compliment had Lia’s cheeks heating up, but the insanity of what was being suggested still weighed on her. Maybe in the world of celebrities - even minor ones as many people would class professional footballers to be - it was a normal thing to fake a relationship to sway public opinion, but in Lia’s world that wasn’t something that happened every day and she felt like any moment everyone would burst out laughing and shout ‘gotcha!’ like she was on some kind of prank show.

“You don’t have to agree to anything if you’re not comfortable,” Rebecca assured her, picking up on her hesitation. “This is a completely insane request and everyone will completely understand if it’s too much to ask.”

Lia got the feeling that her words were just as much a reminder for the people waiting for her response as they were to reassure her, but as ridiculous as the situation was, she had to admit that she was intrigued. There was nothing else going on in her romantic life and despite the red flag of Jamie’s reputation apparently being in dire need of fixing, he seemed like a nice guy and they’d had fun the night before from what she could remember. Plus, she’d be lying if she said he wasn’t attractive and there were worse things in life than pretending some hot, rich footballer was your husband.

“Well, what would be in it for me?” she asked after a moment of thought. “You get the benefit of having your reputation boosted, but what do I get out of this?”

“I can make it worth your while.” Jamie’s offer was said with a wink and smirk, but despite the flush of heat that washed over Lia at the thought of what he was alluding to, she rolled her eyes and waited for him to make what he clearly thought was a more enticing offer. “Alright, I’ll pay ya.”

“Like I’m some kind of escort?”

“No! I just meant that I’ll take care of you!”

“Oh, like a sugar daddy?”

“No! That’s not what I mean. You’re twisting my words!”

Lia was about to protest and argue that she was simply trying to understand what he was offering and insist that she was not comfortable with any kind of money being exchanged as if he was hiring her to be his wife, but Rebecca - who Lia was finding to be an ever present voice of wisdom - stepped in to help them find a more productive way to resolve the issue.

“Lia, is there anything in particular that you would like to get out of the arrangement?”

It was a much more direct way to figure it out instead of Jamie offering her things she was going to turn down, but it was such a big question that she wasn’t really sure how to answer. She shrugged as she racked her brain for some way to make the situation mutually beneficial until eventually an idea popped into her head.

“My dad owns a bookstore,” she informed them, a flash of excitement running through her as she realized that there might actually be a positive side to the mess she’d gotten herself into. “It’s just a small local one, but he’s had it for years - since before I was born - and now with all the big chains he’s finding it harder to compete. Maybe if there was some way for Jamie to subtly promote it and get a few extra customers in the door then that could be really helpful.”

“There’s one big problem with that,” Roy informed her, a smirk sliding onto his face. “No one’s ever gonna believe that Jamie Tartt knows how to read.”

“Oh, piss off,” Jamie spat as Keeley warned him to be quiet and keep any unhelpful opinions to himself. “I can so read and I’m always happy to support local businesses.”

It was clear from the strain on his face that Roy had more thoughts he was dying to share, but a stern look from Keeley had him keeping quiet as Lia sat up a little straighter and tried to control her newfound enthusiasm for their plan.

“That would really help me out. So, if you’re willing to do that then I am willing to pretend that I am Mrs. Tartt,” she agreed. “But we’ll have to set up some ground rules.”

It was Jamie’s turn to look hesitant and suspicious as he cautiously nodded his head.

“Okay, let’s hear it.”

“You won’t be able to sleep with anyone,” she informed him. “People talk and if you’re already going to let them all think I was stupid enough to take you back after you ditched me to go be a whore on TV then I won’t do if it you’re going to let them think I was stupid enough to marry you even though you’re cheating on me.”

“I didn’t ditch you to be a whore on TV, I ditched you and then I was a whore on TV.”

“Semantics,” Lia rolled her eyes. “That’s my number one rule so if you’re not okay with being celibate then I can’t do this.”

Jamie looked almost physically pained by the idea, but after a moment of internal debate, he reluctantly agreed.

“Fine,” he sighed. “Anything else?”

They spent the next half an hour debating the logistics of their arrangement. Neither side had too many demands other than Lia’s request for him to stop seeing other people and Jamie requesting for her to move in with him in case photographers were sniffing around, but they also had to figure out what their official story would be. In the end, they came up with two versions. For the general public, they would confirm that their late night drunken wedding was simply a joke and a bit of fun, but admit that they’d been together for a while and had a small, private wedding a few weeks before. For close friends and family who would have been in attendance at said wedding and would therefore know it wasn’t true and for Jamie’s teammates - some of whom were present at for their drunken nuptials according to the pictures in the paper - they would admit that they were just pretending to be married to brighten up Jamie’s reputation, but would tell everyone that they’d been dating since Jamie returned from his excursion into reality TV.

Lia was still struggling to wrap her mind around the situation, but everyone had assured her that she could bail at any point if it became too much so she was willing to give it a shot - especially if it meant helping out her dad’s business. By the time they were done discussing all the ins and outs, she was very much ready for a nap and not at all ready to face the millions of texts that she knew were waiting for her from the near constant buzzing of her phone. Jamie and Roy had to get ready for training, but Lia was very grateful that Jamie took a little detour to walk her back out to his car.

“I can take the bus,” she assured him as he tried to hand her his keys. “Or how will you get home?”

“Someone will give me a ride,” he insisted, jangling the keys until she tentatively took them from his hand. She mumbled out a ‘thanks’ so softly that she wasn’t even sure he would have heard until he replied. “It’s the least I can do after what you’re doing for me. I promise I’m not as bad as you’re probably imagining. Or, I’m tryin’ not to be.”

There was something about the vulnerability in his voice that tugged on Lia’s heartstrings. He was basically a stranger to her and she didn’t know his story, but it was clear to her that he truly was trying to be a better person despite whatever he’d done in his past. She was fully intending to Google him as soon as she got home just to make sure that the sins he was trying to atone for weren’t anything as extreme as murder or any kind of violence, but there was something about him that made her want to give him the benefit of the doubt and there was obviously something that she’d seen in him the night before that made her like him enough to marry him.

“I believe you,” she smiled. “But we can talk about it later. Good luck with your training, I hope your hangover doesn’t hold you back too much.”

Jamie scoffed out a laugh as they both knew that he wouldn’t be in top form that afternoon, but then he surprised her as he leaned in to press a kiss on her cheek. She stood stunned even after he’d pulled away, shocked by the comforting familiarity of the gesture, but as Jamie opened the door of his car for her, she spotted a few of his teammates watching them from the pitch and realized why he’d done it.

“Oh, I don’t know your address,” she reminded him as she climbed into the car. “Can you text it to me?”

“I don’t have your number.”

Lia laughed at the absurdity of the situation - they were supposed to be married yet they barely knew any basic information about each other - and rattled off her phone number as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Once everything was sorted and Lia knew where she was heading after she went home to pick up her things, she said goodbye and headed out of the parking lot, but paused to blow a kiss out the window and laughed as Jamie dramatically caught it.

They had a relationship to sell after all - as he’d just reminded her - and she was relieved to see that they might be able to have a little fun along the way.

chapter two

#jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt x ofc #jamie tartt fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #amorous facades

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