#(that was specifically because i was a lot more nervous back then and i didnt want shippers to get mad at me. not from genuine opinion) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sentoooo · 3 months

Text

[anon: Can you write a nsfw alfabet with Smoke, if you haven't written one yet?] sorry i havent gotten to this one yet!!!! didnt mean to keep you waiting anon. im a little bit behind on requests, but here i am!!! i also wanna thank yall for the support, i really didn't expect to get a whole lotta numbers on my writing since this is all for self-indulgence really T_T. i appreciate each and every one of yall

cw: NSFW, amab, bondage, body worship, dry humping, little mention of blowjobs, not proofread MINORS DNI

ᴛᴏᴍᴀꜱ ᴠʀʙᴀᴅᴀ || ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀʙᴇᴛ

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Tomas' HOBBY is taking care of you. Out of everyone, I think he is the most attentive. He has an entire checklist. First, he checks in with you. He makes sure you're okay afterward, he asks how the sex was, and sometimes he'll ask about his performance. He likes opening up the discussion because it shows him what he could do better, what you like, and what you'd like to try. Next, he's gonna cuddle up to you. Hold you all close, play with your hair, and pepper your face with kisses. After that, he'll carry you off to the shower and wash up, still peppering you with kisses. He just can't get his mind off your damn lips. Before you fall asleep, he insists on giving you a massage, and getting you a snack and some water, too. He'll even light some incense, as well. He's got all sorts of essential oils for you, like a whole library. And once he's finished his checklist, he keeps you close. Even in his sleep. He loves it when you lay your head on his chest.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his is his shoulders. They make him feel especially strong. He also thinks they hold the story of his journey, from hunting with his family to becoming a ninja with the Lin Kuei. Not to mention, they help a lot with hunting, mainly with a bow. Regardless, he's just proud of how far he has come, and he believes his shoulder specifically show that.

On you, he loves your lips. Your entire face, really. But he can never get enough of your lips. How soft & inviting they are, how warm, it's just so hard to stay away from them. He always finds himself sneaking quick kisses from you in public. He also loves heavy make-out sessions, doesn't matter if they lead to sex or not. He just enjoys the feeling of your lips on his.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Tomas prefers to cum inside, he thinks it's kind of like marking what's his. It also feels more intimate. But if you don't want him to, then he'll cum outside. And he kind of likes it, too. He likes how it looks on your stomach, particularly. He also loves to kiss you when he cums, it's even more intimate to him.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Just how much he wishes he could see you masturbate. Yeah, he can ask, but he's too nervous to. He can only imagine you, too caught up, pleasuring yourself, moaning out his name, whimpering. Yearning for him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's got some experience, just enough to know what he's doing. But he learns more with you, maybe a little too much. Because he's comfortable with you, he really likes exploring your body. And through that, he's learned of all your little quirks and such. He especially loves dragging his hand down your chest and your stomach, he finds that it makes you shiver quite a bit.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Good ol' missionary. Tomas prefers to see your face, and missionary is perfect. Keeps you two close, he can kiss you whenever, however he likes. And he gets to give you as much pleasure as possible. But, if you're feeling like a little bit of a workout, he also likes London Bridge, he just really likes to get in there deep. But he also loves holding you by the small of your back.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's serious. Like Bi-Han, sex is a very sacred act to him. It's one of the things that can establish a deeper bond with you, and he prefers to keep the tone serious. He wants you to take it seriously, too.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's smoooooth, baby. No chest hair, no pubic hair, no nothing. He likes it that way.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He's amongst the sweetest. Sex is one of the deeper connections between you, so he makes sure you know he loves you. He'll outright say it, yes, but his actions speak louder than words. Mainly his attraction to your lips, he loves kissing you any chance he gets. He also loves it when you moan into his mouth. But he also spends ample time tracing your body, kissing down your neck, your chest, your stomach, all of your body. He needs you to know he loves every part of your body. Not to mention the words he'll say. He tells you exactly what he loves about you, he'll speak to you in Czech. Doesn't matter if you don't know it, sometimes he can't find the words in English. He also calls you all sorts of sweet things, Miláček, Drahoušek, Medvídek, Kotě.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't really need to jack off that much. Maybe like thrice in two weeks? But he prefers you, so he doesn't jack off unless he really can't get you off his mind.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Body Worship. All the way. Tomas loves taking his sweet time with you, admiring every little bit about you. He especially loves all the delicious little sounds you make as he goes along, how you reach for him. He loves knowing of your yearning.

He also enjoys dry humping. Knowing that the gratification of skin on skin contact is so close but so far. Grinding up against you, moaning out your name, begging for you as if he isn't doing this to himself. He also loves it when you grinding up against his knee.

Sensory Play is another another one he enjoys. Blindfolding you, mainly. But he does also enjoy light bondage. Tying you up and blindfolding you, containing yourself. He likes the idea of being able to do anything he wants to you, with consent of course. Seeing you try to wiggle out of your restraints as he enjoys your body, rubbing his hands down your legs, kissing your chest, all of that.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Tomas actually prefers fucking outside in the forest. He likes the mood, it reminds him of the nights he'd hunt. It kind of brings something primal out of him! But he doesn't mind doing it in his room, or yours. He is kind of into shower/bath sex, as well. Even if it doesn't require penetration, if he can still jack you off in the bath, he'll enjoy it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

As mentioned before, simply kissing you gets him off. He loves when just a small peck leads to a nice, passionate kiss, to a full on make-out session. Especially when you end up on top of him. But he also loves watching you fight. He knows you're skilled, but just watching you in action gets him a little excited.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He hates being teased. In any sort of way. He likes to keep the rhythm going, because he's very in the mood. So edging, or a ruined orgasm really doesn't fly in his book. He hates having to beg or ask for permission to cum.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He can go either way, he likes it when you give him head, but if you ask for him to go down on you, he doesn't mind either. He kind of likes it, regardless. He likes doing anything that makes you squirm with his touch, so if you want him to, gladly. But if you offer to give him head, he won't refuse. He loves it when you deepthroat him, especially.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He's got a moderate pace, not to fast, not to slow. Depends on the mood, really. If you two are having a quiet night, being soft with each other, he'll go slow & sensual. But, if things are getting heated, he's gonna go faster. And rougher, if you want. Especially in the woods, that's where he likes to fuck you pretty.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

You'd have to convince him. If you two haven't been able to enjoy sex for about a month, he's okay with it. He knows the importance of sex, and just releasing that energy once in a while. But if you two have time for a full-fledged night, then he'd prefer you two wait until then.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's perfectly fine with where he is. He isn't really comfortable with risks or experimenting, he thinks he's doing fine as is. And he knows you feel good with him, so to him there's no point.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Alllll night. And maybe shower sex, afterwards. But he's all tuckered out in the morning. Because of his training (and prior hunting), he has more than enough stamina. He just needs at least a day to recover, if you do go all night.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not really, only the needs to tie you up in light bondage. But if you have toys, he'll gladly use them, and incorporate them into sex regularly. He loves giving you the extra boost of pleasure.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Tomas doesn't tease, he's probably the fairest out of the roster. Because he hates being teased, he won't tease you in any way. Even if you argue that his extensive body-worship routine is teasing. You both know it's not.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Depends on the mood. If it's a sensual night, he's rather quiet, moaning directly into your ear. But if you two are out in the woods, and he's goin' rough, he'll be a lot louder, even growling a bit. Actually, some of the words he says has a bit of a growl to it, too.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Sometimes, when he's real into it, he has a little bit of a Czech accent. Obviously, when he's speaking Czech. But even some phrases in English will have a little bit of accent to it. Especially when he's closer to your ear. It's not something you hear much, since he's been with the Lin Kuei longer than he had been in Prague.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Tomas is a grower, 6.2" in length when hard, 1.6" wide. Leans slightly to the right, and moderately veiny.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He's really just ready whenever you are. His sex drive isn't the highest, but it isn't low, either. He's patient, he can wait until whenever.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends on how long you two went on for. If it was all night, all he can really do is finish his aftercare checklist, and then he'll pass right out on your chest. But if you two only went for like three rounds, he's making an effort to stay up until you're asleep.

#⁺◟sentooo #mk1 x reader #mk x reader #mortal kombat 1 x reader #mortal kombat x reader #mk1 x male reader #mk x male reader #mortal kombat 1 x male reader #mortal kombat x male reader #tomas vrbada x reader #smoke x reader #tomas vrbada x male reader #smoke x male reader

176 notes · View notes

enidsinclairaddamsthesecond · 2 months

Text

You belong with her me Pt 2~ T.N x Reader

Yule Ball

Summary: Y/n has been just asked out to yule ball by her crush - Theodore Nott! Will she finally get the courage to reveal her true feelings for him? But first of all, will the popular heart throb like her back?

Warnings: Typical Theo, Singer!Reader.

Inspiration: Taylor Swift's You belong with me song from fearless album. ᯓ★

Authors note: Hey yall! Sorry for the late update, I have been really busy for the past few days, hope you understand. This is the first part . Let me know your comments down! Lots of love #A/N 💌

Tagged: @jetblackpayne and @m0rg4na and @lafrone

THE NIGHT BEFORE YULE BALL

y/n decided to tell Pansy the truth. Whats the point? She would ask her in a few mins anyway.

y/n POV

"Y/n!!!" Pansy pounced on me from behind as I entered the Slytherin common room. I sigh, now is the time I thought.

"girls got something to sayyy?" She asked teasingly. I acted as if I didnt know what she was talking about, but I knew this will not help me for long.

"ugh fine, I'll just ask, Who did you ask? Or did someone ask you out for the yule ball?" She smiled.

"Ok, I'll tell for that cute little puppy eyes of yours" I say mockingly for which she laughed out.

"someone asked me out" I say, trying to make her, lose her patience. "yeah… who is it?" "Theodore-" "NOTT!!!" she screams. "shhhh- yeah him! Keep your voice low will you?" I look up from her and scan the room to see if the tall boy was anywhere near. He wasnt.

"Ohh… I never knew that play boy had feelings for you" she laughs. I bite my lip. Oh Pansy, I would love it if that was true. Only if you know. I thought. "No no its nothing like that. He just wanted a girl-" "to come with him to the yule ball because he just broke up with Alexjandra? I got to know" She nodded. "But I didnt know he chose you!" she teases. I smile.

After a long pause.

"I wanted to tell you something Pansy, even if its kinda late, I-I… I have-" "feelings for Theo ever since year one? Well if that is the case, I know. By the way its way too late to tell that now" She fold her hands. I drop my jaw. How does she know everything? "well how do u know?" I question.

"Open your eyes y/n. I have been your friend for four years. I have always noticed your side glances, the way you change the topic if I ever talk about him, the way you get so nervous while approaching him, these signs, its obvious!" I blushed heavily. "why didn't you tell me then? Tell me that knew?" "I waited till you confessed by your own will" she smiled. I was still surprised. I pulled her in for a hug. "Thats what I call a soul friend" "whats even a soul friend mean?" she laughs as I hug her tighter. "Who did you ask out?" I ask. "Draco" she smiled. "well doesn't take me by surprise" I wink. "so we are matching green tomorrow?" "Yes! Ill show you my gown!" saying so, she pulled me up to the girls dorm.

YULE BALL

Theodore Nott's POV

Draco nudged me. "will you tell me who you asked out? I mean I have been waiting for that reply ever since yesterday!" "Dude she is Slytherin alright, calm down!" "ya who is she? The name I mean, to be more specific" he rolled his eyes. "You will know soon enough" I laugh at his impatience. "The fact that I already told I'm going out with Pansy" he grunts. I laugh. Pansy came out of no where behind Draco and surprised him. "How do I look Draco?" She asks, her cheeks flustered. "All the best you two" I wink at them. "All the best with y/n! break her heart, I'll break yours" Pansy threatened. Draco smiled. He knows now. And the pair left. I turn hoping to see y/n, instead it was Hermione, she came down the stairs and linked her hands with Krum. I roll my eyes. I hate both of them. My patience was running out. Where is she? I groaned. At the same moment, y/n came down from the stairs, holding the railing.

She wore a nude makeup barely visible. Or... it was her natural beauty. A green satin gown highlighting her thin frame. I was stunned to see the charming young women approaching me. Her eyes searched the hallway and finally landed on mine.

Y/n POV

I blush when I saw him staring back at me. I smile and approach him. "There you are!" "sì, bella mia" he says something in Italian, and takes my hand in his palm and kisses it. This isn't helping. I blush more. "what does that mean?" I laugh. "common lets go" he says smiling and I link my arms with his. We reach the hall, and sure there are many people as expected. "Where is that Marlowe?" he snarls searching for her. I get sad a little bit. "hey" I place both of my palms in his cheek and gently force him to look at me. A very brave move from me, indeed. "today, can it be just for both of us? Even if we are just acting and you know… at least we'll try to make each other happy and have some fun" I say smiling.

He returns my smile and his hands grab by waist and pulls me closer to him. "If you say so Amore mio!" he smiles and looks directly into my eyes. I caress his cheek when all of a sudden and hand yanked me away from him. I gasp and see who the intruder of my dream moment was. Alexjandra Marlowe.

"Theo! How can you choose a trash bag to replace me!" she whines. "look we are meant to be together, its written in the stars darlings!" cringe I taught. Theo pulls his arms out of her grasp and says in a dangerously low voice;

"leave us alone jerk. You have no right calling her a trash bag, well actually your mind is peice of shit which should be kicked out in the trash can first. And touch my girlfriend like that, I'll kill you" he growls and with a fraction of a second he grabs my face and places a peck gently near my lips" He pulled my waist and glued the tiniest space between us and walked to the center of the hall. "Want to dance?" he asks. "with you? Ofcourse!" I smile. The music plays and everyone starts dancing to the beat. "you'v got nice moves y/n" "haha thanks-i used to be a dancer" We danced like there was no end. But we took a break to get a drink. "well played" he compliments me grabing a drink for himself and hands me one. "Thanks!" I smile. The music stops all of a sudden. "Well seems like there is a glitch- would anyone like to volunteer to sing meantime?" Madame McGonagall says. A hand raises up almost immediately. "That hand seems familiar" I mumble to my self. Pancy?! I never knew she could sing! The mic was passed to her; "well I dont know how to sing actually" she giggles, "thaught so" I mumble to Theo, who laughed. "But I do know someone who is a singer here" she pressed the 'do'. Oh what is she plotting now? "y/n y/l/n!!! cheer her to come on stage!" I gasp and i blush as all eyes were now on me. Theodore nudged me to go; "common y/n! I wanna see my girl shining!" "Do you want me to leave you?" i quick whisper. "I want to see you on stage! Go on! Wait i'll walk you to stage" he winks. As he links his arms on mine. Everyones starts cheering!

Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! I was flustered as this was my first time i got too much attention. I go up on stage and wave at the crowd. I smile and laugh. Madame McGonagall hands me the mic.

This is my chance to reveal my feelings for him, I decided to sing the song I wrote; YOU BELONG WITH ME.Alright here we go…1..2..3

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset She's going off about something that you said 'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like And she'll never know your story like I do

================================================

Let me know in the comment or just ask me if you want to be in the tag list!

Part 3 coming up!

#theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x y/n #lovestory #theodore nott #taylor swift #fluff #theo nott imagine #theodore nott imagines #fav #love #imagines #romantic #romance

54 notes · View notes

headspace-hotel · 1 year

Note

Personally as someone who experiences much more daily suffering than the average person I am deeply uncomfortable with the mere idea of "eliminating suffering" because it treats "positive" experiences like love and joy and happiness as more meaningful. In my experience this is done pretty much exclusively to the detriment of people like me.

Because by acting like suffering inherently decreases the value of someone's life you are implying that lives like mine aren't worth living. And maybe it's just me but I take offense to that! Sure my life isn't perfect and there are a lot of things I wish I didnt have to deal with but this life is mine and I'll be damned if I let other people tell me it's not good enough!

Humans weren't designed to exclusively experience pleasant things. Suffering is part of being alive! And I would not trade that for anything!

Ultimately its a facet of toxic positivity, and it makes me very very nervous. Because the people who are suffering the most always seem to be the ones thrown to the wayside for fancy little hypothetical "innovations" like this. Getting rid of suffering is quite likely impossible but that doesn't mean the people backing the idea won't just put on some horse blinders and pretend they don't see the people who would prove it didn't work.

I was about 12 years old the first time somebody told me I was too depressed to be around and it was catastrophic for my mental health. I just don't think that applying that on a worldwide scale is exactly revolutionary ya know?

The ultimate manifestation of this idea is in anti-natalism (people who think it's actively bad and wrong to have children) and people who believe in this idea are often actively pro-eugenics and just...anti-human.

"eliminate suffering" inevitably ends up at calling for extinction of all life, or at least extinction of human life, and there are people out there who think we should go extinct!...and I think we need to be firmer about calling this extremist and harmful, instead of treating it as a philosophical position to be considered seriously

like, even if voluntary human extinction just involved humans choosing not to reproduce, it's still going to fuck you up to go around looking at other humans and believing that it's bad that they're alive. yes, "existence is bad" I guess is one of the basic possible options to come to when asking questions about life and meaning, and I see how people start feeling like there is a "pro-natalist agenda" or some shit because it's something we don't really talk about.

but...believing that a universal genocide would be a good thing isn't that different from believing a genocide of one specific group would be a good thing.

And "no one should reproduce" is not really any better than "everyone should reproduce," because both violate the basic principle that other people reproducing is none of your damn business.

I am generally really uncomfortable with how so many environmentalism and climate change mitigation proposals focus on human population growth as a main cause of climate change.

There's no real evidential basis for the numbers that get cited as the ideal population for Earth, like supposedly 2-4 billion is the max the Earth can support if everyone lives a "comfortable middle class lifestyle"—What The Fuck Does That Mean? Where does it come from? Is it something we actually need or want? The vast majority of humans on Earth aren't living a "middle class lifestyle."

I want to see breakdowns of complex simulations explaining how much biomass the Earth can actually support, instead of arbitrary bullshit like that.

But from everything I've read, producing enough food for the world population is not even remotely a problem. Capitalism is the problem. Huge companies controlling the food supply and keeping the countries that produce food in poverty is the problem. Technological solutions are important but they will not fix the current problems, just like Eli Whitney's cotton gin didn't eliminate slavery.

Everyone assumes that the system is working as efficiently as it possibly can to meet the material needs of people, and that is so terribly wrong.

Anyway much of that was off topic but yeah, I'm not a fan of this line of thought and where it leads

215 notes · View notes

seyfertgalaxy · 1 year

Text

Collector analysis again! but small.

So, i believe that Collector does not enjoy turning people into puppets. i saw this idea thrown around a bit, and i think i agree with it. He uses more as a "punishment" than anything, really. but a harmless one; one he finds will keep them safe and sound.

Like with Lilith and Hooty! Lilith called King her nephew, something that Collector was not fond of. so, while sending a moon toward her to puppetify her, Hooty jumps in and gets hit instead. so Collector goes back for a second shot to actually get Lilith like intended.

I also was wondering if Hooty didn't do anything wrong, why didnt Collector fix it? Well, i figure theres two reasons for that. One: He needs puppets to play pretend with, and/or Two: Hooty helped Lilith when she had done something wrong(in his eyes).

He has an angry expression while doing this, yet a calm one when explaining how they're safe and not hurt. That Is His Form Of "Discipline". for now, at least.

or with Terra! whenever she insults King, that's whenever he turns her into a puppet. Angry expression, yet again, and his words: "you're not being very nice right now".

And to add on to this being discipline, Terra says this:

"Play along, and you won't get turned into a puppet. do your role correctly. " Also, when he holds up the moon, her reaction is anything BUT glee and cheerfulness. So, he knows it negatively affects people(this was also shown with Lilith's reaction to Hooty).

it also vaguely reminds me of whenever the Collector was in the mirror thingy. he was trapped and couldn't really do anything since he was a shadow. and these people, as puppets, are technically trapped and can't do anything. this one is a stretch, i think, but it makes some sense.

and onto how he speaks about Eda in this scene...

He's speaking about replacing Terra for the "real thing" because who can play Eda better than Eda herself? He clearly has a liking to Eda. He kept Terra around longer out of anyone because she's playing the role of Eda. He tried his best to explain her role to her—multiple times. When he's describing Eda to both Terra and King, he's very passionate about it. Smiling and excited! But he can't play with her because he thinks that she's still the owl beast. I think the awe comes from how King spoke about her to explain "The Owl House Game." Because he clearly had to speak about her to explain the game, as he did with Luz. i wouldn't be surprised if thats how King originally described Eda to Collector, and they just ran with it. or maybe they made that connection themselves based on how King spoke about her! both are plausible.

However, this admiration would not stop him from disciplining her. He says this:

He may have been talking about the Owl Beast in specific, but either way, he was meaning Eda.

Now, i can't say for certain why everyone else was turned into puppets(other than the other adults, because I'd say that was because they were attacking along with some of the students). But these were also his spies, not him himself. though that's what we saw.

And given that this kid would turn someone into a puppet for saying the wrong word, anything was possible! (i saw like two people say he did that because he saw "nephew" as a threat because of Belos and Hunter)

But he obviously doesn't like doing it, and typically only does it whenever he's angry or feels threatened. But hey! it seems to be better than what the other Collectors would do! as seen in the book, i feel like if they were to do something like this, it would end with a lot of actual harm and probably even murder. which does make me nervous for the next episode, but!! we'll see what it actually means, probably

160 notes · View notes

9toji · 9 months

Note

could i please request some kind of hc/drabble of what character/s you think would be good at being publicly protective of reader? coming from someone paranoid of men in public, what characters do you think would take a fear like that seriously and make you feel safe?

thank you 💗🙏🏽

‧₊˚✩彡 KEEP YOU SAFE ! — jjk & bllk boys

characters ; gojo, megumi, kunigami (post-wildcard), rin

rina's comments ; i hope you're okay anon! i made this extra fluffy for you <3 i didnt know whether to write for jjk or bllk so i did both! hope you enjoy!! <3

tags ; established relationship, they keep you safe wherever you go

gojo was always the type to make you feel safe and to protect you, there are lots of things he'd like to shield you from but he lets you do what makes you happy, he doesn't want to feel like he's suffocating you. satoru always wants to see you safe and happy after all.

always the type to squeeze your hand in crowds, to make sure you two pass through with ease. being that tall had its advantages, he looks back at you a few times to make sure you're okay and that you're still beside him before leading you out of the sea of people on the streets.

assuring you that you were safe, in case you felt a little worried. “i'm here pretty thing, you're okay.” he whispers into your ear before proceeding to walk to wherever he wants to take you, you two always go out just because gojo loves trying new restaurants that he spots whenever he's away at work but he brings you so you don't feel left out and you get to eat the food he also wants to eat.

satoru spoils you with gifts whenever you two go out, even if you insist that you don't need such things. now, you have keychains dangling from your purse than matches his, keychains of little sushi figures that you two bought from a restaurant that sells them. “now we match!” he exclaims with a cheeky grin and a kiss to your forehead.

megumi isn't protective unless you two are outside, asking you to cling on to his arm while you two walk. and for both your pleasure, he holds your hand which he rarely does at home because his hands get all sweaty but during dates he insists to, so he can keep you close.

even when his hands get sweaty, he grips on to your hand tight. “i'll keep you close, let's wipe my hand off later.” megumi is shy about it, the fact that his hand gets sweaty because even though he's been with you for a while, he still gets a little nervous and shaky about physical touch.

on dates, he takes you to art galleries and small underground cafes. and when you ask about how he knows about such places since they're pretty unknown, he murmurs gojo's name which makes you laugh. knowing that gojo offers him advice too. even when the places you go to have few people inside, megumi is cautious.

“let's go look around, hold on to me.. okay?” your boyfriend asks with a soft tone, placing a soft kiss on your forehead as you two walk around. your hand and his own sweaty hand keeping you two close to each other, wiping his hand down with tissues whenever you two rest and sit down on benches.

kunigami is very protective of you, even when his demeanor doesn't really show it. “stay close.” he huffs indignantly, but there's a faint blush tainting his cheeks as you wrap you arm around him. always the one to give accidental resting bitch faces as he walks down the sidewalk, making him look scarier than he actually is.

he's the type to bring you to cutesy cafes, just because you want to. even to plushie stores where he examines each and every one, keeping you close by with a slight grin. kunigami loves seeing you happy, and so he squeezes your hand, and when you make a little ow! sound, he apologizes. not meaning to hurt you in his little moment of having butterflies.

every person or more specifically men that approach you whenever he goes off to the restroom receives a dirty look or a glare, the severity depending on the situation. his muscular arm placed on the man's shoulder as he gives a very simple, but scary-sounding, warning. “back off, they're mine.”

and when the man leaves, kunigami blinks at him with a confused look. not meaning to make the man extremely afraid of him, he looks to you and smiles. “at least you're safe, let's go?” rensuke asks as he lets you drag him away, inspecting more cute trinkets that caught your eye.

as a soccer celebrity, which rin hated being called by the way.. came with its advantages. not that he gets swarmed by loads of soccer fans but he does ask his bodyguards to accompany you on dates, which is a little awkward but he insists, because it means it'll give you two more room to breathe and it'll mean you'll be safe a lot more.

the go-to dating spots between you two are always expensive restaurants, that serve good food but in miniscule portions. so one day, you ask rin if you two could eat out to somewhere where you can eat more without missing out on good food, and rin contemplates before agreeing. immediately calling his bodyguards to accompany you two.

even with them around, rin always had a hand snaked around your waist to keep you closer. “you're alright babe, we'll be safe.” he looks behind him and sees his guards coughing as if they weren't used to seeing rin display affection, which was true.. since he always has a frown on his face while training or when he's alone. rin scowls and goes a little red, looking down at his shoes before smiling slyly at you.

rin actually enjoys the food at the local restaurant much more than the expensive, really expensive gourmet that serves only little, almost drop like sizes. your boyfriend sighs as he eats with gusto and when he turns to you and grins a little, he says slowly “let's come here more often, love.” wiping away the small spill at the side of your cheek. putting him in a good mood and even smiling at his fans that wait for him outside the small restaurant.

137 notes · View notes

nahalism · 9 months

Note

Did you ever experience some kind of…almost debilitating anxiety? I’m talking of months or + gnawed and exhausted by fear and both mental and physical sensations that come with it. How did/do you move through it

luv

a long one in advance but lol yh bare times. ill answer ur question, but there's two sides to the route i took and i have 2 preface with everything i did and do is based off of what i feel is right for me at the time. it doesnt mean its right though, and im very aware of that, so ill share some parts, but ultimately each person has is their own experience. the first step to moving through something, is looking for answers so like.. deeper than whatever i have to say, the answer is not in my answer, its in the fact u want answers

anyway. throwback to 6 ish years ago, i was having a breakdown breakthru and i started viewing what i called anxiety, as hyper vigilance. i started to see i was using a way of perceiving reality, along with my ability for analysis, to create correlations between my present, based on my perception of the past, to determine/predict the future (both futile and fallible), not cause i wanted to know what was going to happen, but because i thought keeping account of all possible outcomes gave me control and control would keep me safe and stop me experiencing a version of life i didnt want to go back to (more specifically it stopped me feeling helpless & inconsequential). as i understood that, along with the traumas at the root of my hyper vigilance, and the anxiety (social and general cause they r v separate), i recognised that i wanted control because i wasn't confident i could take charge or respond to reality without immense preparation. on top of that, i was resisting the fact that i was anxious because i was calling the symptoms i was experiencing my anxiety, but the real anxiety was the way i thought, and i was actually addicted to thinking in that way, because even though i hated it, and what it did to my body/nervous system, it was protecting my ego by giving me a false sense of control.

so that was my first step. i began to take action from where i was, as i was. that meant listening to what made me anxious. for example, if a place or person made me anxious, i didnt interact or go. i validated myself and what i was feeling. & i dont mean that in an avoidant sense, ill say why in a second. but yeah i validated what i was feeling, and began to see that the more i gave myself permission to be who i was, and do what i wanted unapologetically, the less direct anxiety id experience. and that sounds like an easy decision to have made in hindsight but usually, the change a persons anxious to make is something that in the moment requires a huge leap of faith but seems inevitable in hindsight. anyway, that's when i really realised that i was anxious because i was living an inauthentic life based on premeditation rather than presence. i had/have concurrent ptsd, so there were a lot of emotions i hadn't felt in a long time without realising, like passion or genuine laughter, happiness, joy, peace. id literally forgotten anything but this autopilot need to protect myself, be there for the people that had been there for me and stay alive. in giving myself permission to be different from who i had been, i started to see the world free from what my past dictated it should be and everything started to open up as as a consequence. side note, id been studying metaphysics and philosophy since 6 form, and i can't underestimate how much the principles i learned there helped me transmute my situation. ive recommended all those books in here before, so u can find them, but yeah . it sounds pretty and idyllic and as essy as 'changing my mind' but it was fucking brutal. i transformed in every sense of the word i lost almost everything in the process. there were wins along the way but 90% of them were silver linings of my own deciding. however, nothing i lost needed to stay! and everything i chose to go through or was subjected to led me to understand me and opened options as to how i could cultivate a beautiful and real inner life that eventually began to bleed out into the 'real' world.

the dark side of that, which is how i reached most of those revelations and insights, is the experiential bit that i can't communicate. i literally put myself through hell, and i can type till my fingers fall of and still never convey the full picture of how what why when, but yh. when i said i listened to my anxiety, i meant that literally. as i said before, i didnt allow myself to be avoidant. so if there was a reason i didnt want to do something, i honoured it, but lets say the only obstacle to me doing something was my anxiety, id force myself to do it, to the point of masochism. literally, i was obsessed. day in day out i was reading on self improvement, i studied every religion, researched philosophers, listened to hour long lectures on youtube, i did everything i could do to understand myself, my mind, life, and how to reprogram what i was experiencing. at the same time as this i used to myself in situations that would trigger panic attacks, or dissociative episodes and find ways to 'function' through it. one that worked very well was smoking weed, sometimes alone, sometimes in bad company. weed gave me severe panic attacks at the time, so when i was on my own, id smoke to induce panic attacks so i could meditate, breathe, draw, write, literally do whatever helped to bring myself through the panic attack. then when i felt capable with that, id smoke in bad company and practice with the pressure of being in front of people and there would be times id b having full blown panic attacks in front of people, sometimes with, but usually without them knowing and the whole time was just training myself to understand or pay attention to my mental patterns, training myself to calm myself down, to reach a zone where i could see through what was triggering me, or at the very least just firm it. and the more i did that, the more i understood why i was dissociating, or collapsing, or having chest pains, hyperventilating all that shit. the more i understood, the more i reeeaaally understood, and then i got to a point where even though the trigger is there lol, it still exists, but when it gets pulled i can hold the explosion. because i feel it happening, i see it happening, but it happens to something within me and not to me now? and so i kind of watch it and love and appreciate it for what learning to temper it taught me. its like a familiar old friend has its quirks that i wouldn't change for the world and yh idk im just rambling i need to go to bed. but basically i stopped being debilitated by anxiety by living in complete debilitation of it until it couldn't debilitate me any more. id be lying if i didnt say it drove me to very dark, lonely, appearance of being semi crazy states of being, but it was worth it and still is.

without the period of isolation the second half of what i described put me through, i couldnt have found realignment cause i wouldnt have seen how incorrect my projection of my past onto the future was, or how to correct it. & deep it, if all u know is death misery lack poverty shortage economic & social insecurity, then all u can see for the future is that. once u open ur eyes and see urself and the world for what is u can start playing. it wasnt easy, and im still not over being anxious. but its not debilitating, just an uneasy emotion. & the way i see it at this point, its just my inner system seeing something what my eyes dont & making me aware. when i listen im redirected, and can find alignment. when i dont it gets worse, and the only way out is to be numb. but i wanna live and i cant live numb. hope i answered, love <3

#ask

26 notes · View notes

sixosix · 1 month

Note

Finally have a chance to throw my thoughts together! And boy do I have them!!

Just ahshshs- lyney you’re so smart and cunning but also pretty dense my guy. I’m so glad you have moral standards but the fact your first thought when thawed!reader wants to kiss you is that ‘oh she is just drunk, :(‘ as opposed to ‘Ah! I may actually have a slight chance’ says something. I know you’re basing your thoughts on imperfect information and past experiences but please- I’m begging you- I know you have a big brain please use it-

But honestly, my heart goes out to him. In his half of the pov his pinning is so clear to see. I’m willing to bet money that Lyney would just happily accept the fact that he can interact with t!reader on some sort of positive level again, no matter if he is just a friend forever because she’s back! She’s real again, not just rose-tinted memories and this silent secret between the twins and Freminet. He is going through these extra and at times inconvenient steps just to keep her safe, even going against his own desires (letting Childe keep an eye on her while he goes to father) and even against his own loyalties to an extent ( i mean, the sensible loyal fauti thing to do would be to immediately report that the previously awol/MIA solider was found, wouldn’t it? )

ALSO THE ‘MON LAPIN’ NICKNAME!?! So many thoughts AND feelings on that!! *insert the cork board meme*

It fits so well!! I looked up some rabbit information just to see and rabbits are so skittish! I checked it out and so many things can set them off- bad experiences, new lotion smell, smelling like a different animal like a cat!! Like they not recommended to be children pets cause you gotta be gentle. But they’re so active! Not to mention herbivores!! Lyney may not know the truth but I’m sure he knows where his gift was delivered too! Thawed reader is a rabbit confirmed.

Looking outside of lyney and t!reader’s interactions though, it’s always so interesting to see t!reader’s other interactions. The obvious joy she has when she realizes Lynette showed up, and Lynette’s instant care in asking if t!reader has anywhere safe to go to. The tense somewhat friendship forming between aether and her, where a slight misstep could mean destruction of her life but there’s enough going on for minor banter and to try and help recover from a hangover (the water, and my current guess is that is the reason why her drink is different at the end) and now the beginnings of co-conspirators between Childe and her; the former laughing and seems to be almost excited while the latter is even more tense and nervous because it’s about to get a whole lot more complicated

ALSO CHILDE! SMART MAN, SO GLAD YOU’RE IN THE KNOW! Welcome to the peanut gallery of lyney and t!reader’s relationship! Hope you enjoy the show! But now that childe is officially an active player in the story, it’s making me think about the current time line and how different it’s gonna go from the canon game. As of right now, the only confirmed event from the Fontaine archon/various other quests is Lyney and Lynette’s trial since Childe has yet to be accused of anything (so we can assume that the missing people case is still ongoing) and aether is specifically doing this to see if he can trust the twins (something you can argue about him realizing via/during Lyney’s story quest). Especially know with the knaves early arrival to push things along

I should stop myself at this point so imma just leave off with the fact Lyney is starting to feel something as wrong when faced with Childe at the party AND the fact that t!reader remembering a fair bit of what happened, but the key point being that’s it’s very blurry has me kicking and freaking out. It’s gonna get much more messy real soon.

-deadman aether anon

HI DEADMAN AETHER ANON!!! its so wonderful to have you back AND ITS SO WONDERFUL TO ME TO SEE THIS ASK I AAS LIKE WHOAAA HELL YEA

i didnt really think too much about the bunny nickname even i was so shocked by that info!! i just heard from my friend that its one of the common french nicknames—and i thought it fit because of lyneys whole magician thing,,, like magicians and rabbits…. BUT THATS SO COOL!!!! makes the nickname so deeper than whatbi initially thought 🙏🙏

AND YEAAHHH its definitely overwhelming for our mc to be exposed so suddenly to so many people who seem to be willing to be friends w her! its been rosalie and its only been Father before 😢

the canon game event is gonna be veeeerrryyy detached from the game bc im going to be ignoring it for the sake of not copying it and just inserting MC in. if i did that, THAWED woukd just be a longer version of my other fic, Sleight of Hand HAHAHA. either way, since im writing this before arlecchino’s official release, i think i might end up mischaracterizing her…..so im a bit nervous about that. i think in THAWED shes definitely going to be a bit more evil than what she might be in-game

#THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS ONCE AGAIN #im glad that youre sendingg longer ones too it genuinely makes me happy #i hope u have a good day!!!#this made my day brighter by a 100x #606:inbox #606: deadmanaether anon

16 notes · View notes

wtchysvto · 4 months

Note

olga and tolys' body headcanons?

i was actually planning on making this post with drawings but i didnt have time to draw it so... also there was another ask like this but it didn't let me edit the draft so i had to delete it and start over and the ask was gone😭

i actually headcanon both tolys and olga as pretty strong, both of them more than likely carry a lot of heavy stuff around and doing all the work around the house also requires some strength after all

olga has strong hands and legs, has wide thighs, and despite being bigger she still has somewhat of a nice waist. i imagine she probably volunteers a lot when she has time (and yk in our time i mean volunteer as in help soldiers which involves a lot) so she keeps up her physical shape, plus doing all the housework at her home

now speaking of scars, considering her complicated history she has quite a bunch of them:

1. olga also has a scar on her stomach from the defeat in the battle of berestechko 1651. it has somewhat faded since then

2. a scar on her chest from the battle of kyiv 1941

3. long scar going down from her shoulder blades to her waist from the khmelnytsky uprising 1648-1657

4. she also has one on her neck closer to the collarbone from the war of independence in 1921

5. had a scar on her chest from the siege of kyiv in 1240 but it has faded since then.

6. she has a long ugly scar on her upper back from the january uprising. it hurt a lot for the first couple decades but doesnt as much these days. sometimes it still hurts, which is also a cause for her back pains besides her chest size.

generally i think ukraine has a lot of small scars on her upper arms from weapons, and her hands have scratches from all sorts of work. speaking of those, my friend pointed out that in most official art ukraine has clothes with clothes upper arms and back which conveniently ties into my headcanons

now speaking of tolys i dont have many headcanons as unfortunately im not as familiar with history of lithuania, so im open to hear any of the headcanons yall might have😭

as ive mentioned before, i think tolys is also pretty strong even if he doesn't look all that menacing (cue that one sketch from himaruya where italy crash tests other characters' chests.). he may look pretty dead outside but boy these muscles do the work 🤭

i dont have any specific scar headcanons for liet, just mostly scars on his back we already know from canon. he was in many battles so there plenty of scars all over

also i think he has a habit of nervous scratching, and sometimes those dont heal for a while because he scratches them open again

now one of my favorite headcanons for tolys is that he has wolf-like fangs! it all comes down from the legend of the founding of vilnius, where gediminas dreamt of an iron wolf on a hill and a priest said it was a sign, so gediminas built the capital there

when latvia saw his fangs for the first time it kinda scared him, he thought lithuania was a werewolf😭

thats it for now! id be glad to hear any headcanons you guys have, bc i kinda suck at making them

#ask #lietukr #anonymous #aph #hetalia #aph lithuania #hws lithuania #aph ukraine #hws ukraine #hws

18 notes · View notes

pastanest · 1 year

Text

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @iamburdened - thanks so much!! ♡

Spencer Reid x she/her!reader

The King Of Wishful Thinking

Spencer Reid had been in love before, he knew the symptoms as well as he did any other sickness. He could tell that it had started the first day he saw you, much to his dismay. Hotch introduced you to the team as his PA, but added that the title was vague because you were going to help out any member of the team who needed it. All of the boring parts of the job, filing and other office-based tasks that the rest of the team dreaded. While the profilers went away on cases, you kept all of their things in order back at Quantico, and you’d stay late to make sure you were there to give them a full report when they got back. You were efficient from the get go, a lifesaver amongst the team when you offered to take their piles of paperwork and sort them. But, of course, the one person who didnt need help with any paperwork was the one person more desperate than any other to speak to you.

At first, you offered Spencer help as much as you offered everyone else, but after he stumbled through the politest rejections you’d ever experienced, and the team continually joking that he definitely didnt need help, you stopped offering to avoid irritating him. He had hoped that the lack of communication would extinguish the fire you’d lit within him, but oh, how wrong he was.

“Good morning Doctor Reid!” You called gleefully as you entered the building, your eyes immediately landing on Spencer, who sat at his desk idly writing out impossible maths equations.

He didnt say anything in reply, just beamed at you, and you approached him to sit on his lap, the two of you laughing in between passionate kisses-

“Hey, kid, you alright?” Derek nudges Spencer, pulling him out of his daydream.

Spencer’s gaze had been fixed on the glass doors awaiting your arrival, and Derek was aware like the rest of the team that this distractedness was not common with the young genius.

“Y-Yes, Im fine!” Spencer splutters, clearing his throat and straightening his tie, eyes frantically darting around the room as though to prove he hadnt been zoned out staring at the door for several minutes.

“What’s been up with you lately, man-“ Derek begins to ask quietly, but he’s interrupted.

“Good morning Doctor Reid!” You call gleefully as you push through the glass doors, leaning on them with your back because your arms are stacked with papers.

“Good morning (Y/N)!” He squeaks back, waving awkwardly, causing your smile to widen into a beaming grin.

In his daydreams, Spencer manages to be an awful lot smoother, but your genuine kindness is not something his mind conjures up. He had hoped you not talking to him would kill his crush on you, but of course, you being as lovely as you are, you made sure to greet him every single morning so that he never felt left out. The rest of the team had the easy route when it came to speaking to you, Spencer had to wait for specific opportunities, such as the one Derek Morgan has happened to witness.

Derek laughs and sits back on Spencer’s desk. “Ah, I see.”

“What do you see? I dont see anything. You dont see anything!” Spencer is rising from his desk in what can only be described as sheer panic, literally walking into the rail of the stairs as he tries to walk around Derek to get to them, causing Derek to laugh even harder.

“Kid’s got it bad!” He teases.

“I dont ‘got’ anything!” Spencer snaps, but the nervous higher pitch to his voice gives him away.

The team head to the round table to discuss today’s case. Just as Penelope begins describing the victims, Spencer happens to glance at the doorway. And there you are, across the walkway, headphones hiding your ears as you dance around the printer.

“Given the extent of paperwork waiting for us in Florida, I’ve asked (Y/N) to join us on this case.”

Spencer’s eyes widen as he slowly turns back to Hotch, unable to believe the words that got through to him despite being completely distracted by you. He mentally scolds himself, of course the mention of your name is the only thing that can pull him away from staring at you.

“(Y/N)?” Hotch calls, but you continue dancing around the printer, completely oblivious.

The team chuckles as they watch you, smiling fondly as you pick up the files you printed and take your headphones off. Hotch calls your name again, and this time you jump out of your skin. Turning to face the round table, you already have your eyes closed and your mouth pressed to a thin line, realising you’d forgotten you were supposed to be with the team. You jog over to the round table, your headphones bouncing around your neck.

“Sorry about that! Ditziness is next to godliness!”

The team laughs, Spencer’s smile lingering longer than anyone else’s.

“Honestly, Im not sure why Im coming considering you have the world’s fastest reader right here!” You exclaim, gesturing to Spencer, who immediately sits up straighter.

“The world’s fastest reader is actually Howard Stephen Berg, who can read 25,000 words per minute, but Maria Teresa Calderon, from the Philipines, claims to beat that with 80,000 words per minute-“ Spencer pauses, then smiles bashfully while mentally facepalming. “-and you were just complimenting me, werent you? Thank you.”

Spencer lowers his head, blushing furiously as Derek and Rossi slap his back, everyone at the round table sharing a laugh.

On the jet, Hotch informs everyone that you’re just collecting your things from your bag, but you’ll be right with them. Spencer takes a window seat at the back of the jet, and Emily quickly plops down beside him.

“You should ask her out.” She says simply.

“What!?!” Spencer squeaks, trying to express his outrage as quietly as possible.

“You should ask her out!” Emily repeats.

“No way!” Spencer shakes his head furiously.

“Why?” Emily questions, as though he’s refusing the easiest thing in the world.

“She doesnt- she couldnt- the majority of outcomes would be horrific!” Spencer struggles, stumbling over his words.

“Would the outcomes really be horrific, or are you just too scared to admit you might actually have a shot with someone?” Emily asks in a hushed voice.

Before Spencer can reply, Emily’s eyes dart to the jet doors and she jumps out of the seat next to Spencer, leaving it empty just in time for you to arrive. He looks out of the jet window, pretending to be deep in thought.

“Is this seat taken?” Spencer hears you ask, and he discretely pinches his thigh to make sure he isnt dreaming.

He turns his head to look at you. “N-No!”

You smile and sit down beside him, pulling a blanket over yourself that Spencer hadnt even noticed you were carrying. You catch Spencer staring at it and shrug.

“This is a 13 hour flight, best thing to do is get a nap in before everyone else so that when I am awake everyone else is sleeping, then I can get some work done. Or, I can have conversations without worrying about a team of profilers listening in!” You raise an eyebrow, causing Spencer to chuckle, he understands your point on a spiritual level. He thinks you’re going to go to sleep, but you continue talking to him. “If you like, we can both sleep and then chat once we wake up. Since we’re next to each other and all.” You suggest, and his profiling instincts tell him you’re trying to be very casual about the suggestion, and the fact you’re avoiding eye contact makes him think you’re nervous about something. But what?

Spencer nods, also trying very hard to come across as casual about it. He hopes that because you arent a profiler you wont recognise that he’s trying so hard.

You smile at him and proceed to get snuggled up under your blanket. He waits until he hears your breathing slow, telling him you’re asleep, then he glances at you, to see you’re still smiling. His heart all but leaps out of his chest. Not wanting to miss out on an opportunity to have a private conversation with you that he doesnt have to initiate, Spencer settles in his own seat and closes his eyes, persuading himself to sleep.

The moment he drifts, you’re back again. What else would he dream about?

He was in his apartment, re-reading War And Peace, when he heard a knock at his door. He frowned, rose to his feet and walked to the door. When he opened it, he saw you standing there with two tubs of jello and two spoons, you held one of each out to him with a beaming smile on your face. Spencer wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his apartment, lifting you and the jello into the air and spinning you around, before placing you back down on the ground to rest his forehead against yours and hold you close. He didnt kiss you, he didnt need to in that moment, because even dream-him knew not every moment required a kiss, and he didnt just want to kiss you. Sometimes, all he wanted was to hold you.

“Spencer?” You asked quietly.

“Hmm?” He hummed in reply.

“Spencer?!”

He jumps in his plane seat, eyes snapping open as he realises you are actually saying his name and gently shaking him awake. You laugh quietly.

“What were you dreaming about?” You ask curiously.

Spencer swallows nervously. “Jello.”

You nod in understanding. “Jello is a very good thing to have deep dreams about, congratulations.”

“Thank you?” Spencer says, somewhat confused and still half-asleep.

You cross your legs and turn to face him, sitting sideways on the jet seat with your blanket wrapped around you. “So! Let’s play a question game!”

Spencer frowns curiously. “Why?”

You shrug, gesturing to the rest of the team. “Nobody’s eavesdropping, I wanna get to know you, why else?”

Spencer’s heart skips a beat. “Why do you want to get to know me?”

You roll your eyes at him, but you’re smiling, so he knows you arent making fun of him. “Because you’re interesting! So, questions, are you ready?”

Spencer straightens his back, shuffling around in his seat as he feels the tension rise. He’s considerably taller than you, so he cant quite sit sideways on the seat, but he does his best to face you.

“Okay, you go first.” He says, allowing you to set the tone of the questions so that he can figure out what to ask you afterwards, but also so he can try and deduce what you want to know, specifically. There has to be a reason that you want to play this game.

“Are you comfortable with the way the team make fun of you sometimes?”

Well, of all the questions he theorised you would ask, that was not one of them. He’s stumped. Spencer shuffles and repositions in his seat as he frowns, formulating an answer.

“Most of the time I know they arent being cruel, they’re my friends, but sometimes it does get to me, I guess. Everyone has bad days.” Spencer explains, and you nod, but he cant hold back from continuing. “I dont want to waste my question asking this, but could you tell me why you asked that?”

You smile at him. “We dont talk much, but I pay attention to you, which I suppose is a consequence of that. Since I dont know you very well, and dont get many chances to talk to you in order to change that, I try and figure you out by paying attention. I notice them making fun of you, and sometimes I want to jump in and defend you, but I feel it isnt my place, Im not quite in tune with the team dynamic just yet.”

Spencer feels his heart swell at your words. Despite barely knowing him, you care about him that much? And you want to figure him out?

You nod at him. “Your turn to ask a question!”

Spencer clears his throat. “Why do you make the effort to talk to me when it isnt in your job description?” He immediately sees how taken aback you are, and he’s quick to rephrase. “It’s not that I dont enjoy you talking to me - I very much do - I just dont know why you bother, because you have to talk to everyone else as part of your job. You dont need to talk to me, but you choose to, and I dont know why.”

You tuck your hair behind your ear and avoid eye contact, instead looking over to double check that the rest of the team are definitely asleep, as you try to find your words.

“Well, like I said, you’re interesting. I want to get to know you, and the fact you dont need my help means that I cant use that as an excuse to talk to you, like I can for everyone else. In order to get to know you, specifically, I have to make the extra effort.”

Spencer’s stomach drops. Is he just like everyone else to you? Do you simply want to get to know him in the same way you know the rest of the team?

“Why do you stare at me?”

Suddenly, the entire world stops. Spencer swears he can feel his blood freezing in his veins. He doesnt know how it never crossed his mind that during his zoned out moments, you could quite easily see him. Oh god.

“I...find you interesting, too.” He begins, intending to stop talking right then and there, but his mouth has other ideas. “What I mean is, you make me interested in you- but not in an objectifying way, I just mean that- you are so effortlessly mesmerising and I dont- I cant- and you dont feel the same way, which is fine, Im just somebody you work with that you barely know- you dont want to know me in the same way and that’s fine- I just-“

You lean forward and cover his mouth with your hand, silencing his ramble.

“Spencer, take a breath.” You tell him, but the smile on your face makes it very difficult for him to do that. Taking your hand away from his mouth, you settle back in your seat. “I said I wanted to get to know you like I do the rest of the team because I was trying to retain some professionalism, while being wrapped up in a blanket and sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce.”

Spencer cant help but laugh at that, and in doing so you put him completely at ease, despite his heart beating a mile a minute.

“But, since you just metaphorically threw the remaining professionalism out of the jet window, we’ll replace it with honesty. Im interested in you, Spencer, and in the same way you are interested in me.” You explain to him, your words deliberately slower so that they sink in.

And just like that, you have Doctor Spencer Reid speechless. He keeps his gaze locked with yours as he very obviously pinches his own arm.

“Dont hurt yourself! What was that for!?!” You grab his hand and take it away from his shoulder, holding it in yours so that he doesnt try and pinch himself again. The care you have for him could make him cry.

“Just making sure this isnt another daydream. It’s been difficult to tell the difference recently.” Spencer tells you, his words barely above a whisper. Before he can stop himself or overthink it, he asks the only question playing on his mind. “Can...Can I kiss you?”

Your cheeks flush pink as you nod slowly. The two of you lean in at a snail pace, it feels like someone is holding the brakes on gravity, slowing down a pull that cannot be resisted, it’s inevitable. His lips meet yours, directly above the arm of the jet seats between you. Every fibre of his existence is set alight. Spencer has a momentary worry that the fireworks have the strength to blow up the plane, but he’s reminded how irrational that is when the overwhelming bliss takes ahold of him again. One of your hands lets go of his, to feel up his chest and around the back of his neck, to card through his hair. Spencer’s hands hold onto yours, treasuring every aspect of this, savouring the ecstasy of this event being in the real world rather than just in his head. He pulls away first, breathless and grinning.

“Would this be a bad time to correct an earlier statement?” Spencer asks randomly.

“What statement?” Your brain is still rebooting after that kiss, you cant quite remember anything that was said before.

“My dream earlier.“ He explains.

“What?” You frown, even more confused after finding out what he’s referring to.

“It wasnt just about jello.” Spencer admits, his grin cheeky.

You laugh and shake your head at him, using the hand that’s still in his hair to pull his lips back to yours.

Maybe wishful thinking can get you somewhere after all.

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #x reader #imagine #imagines #fanfic #fanfiction #headcannon

83 notes · View notes

gabessquishytum · 10 months

Note

Okay for little brother dream taunting hob... what if he only SAYS hes having so much sex??? He wants to make hob jealous... but at the same time he DOES want hob to be his First. Hes prepared to save himself a couple more months but he wants hob to be gagging for it as much as he is thinking about all of dreams "other lovers". Hes still a virgin when he finally gets hob to kiss him, hes a bit nervous about telling him, because the lies he told are very obviously to hob to make him jealous. Hes afraid hob will be mad at him but hob is too overcome by the RELIEF that dream wasnt having all this terrible sex he didnt want just to get back at him and also the arousal at dream saving himself for hob specifically... it does a lot for his ego and hes gonna make sure he can live up to the hype haha 😉

-🔪

Dream: I lost my virginity teehee

Hob: *foaming at the mouth* who was it?? did they take advantage of you?? was it even good?? tell me so i can murder them!!!!

Dream, who hasn't actually spoken to anyone apart from Hob and his sister for the past 4 months, fully didn't expect Hob to even believe him: /@_@/

Honestly tho. Hob is so relieved to find out that Dream was fibbing about all his terrible sexual encounters. That doesn't mean that he doesn't get a punishment for all his lies and naughtiness. Hob is very eager to teach his lover about the joys of orgasm denial - Dream is so young and inexperienced he's never even tried denying himself and he certainly gets a shock when Hob sucks his cock... and doesn't let him cum <3

Sometimes Hob wonders if Dream is getting bored of him as their relationship goes on. After all, Dream has never had the opportunity to try anyone else... but if he dared to ask Dream he'd find out that he couldn't even imagine asking for anything more... and he finds it very sexy to know that Hob was his first and only. It comes in particularly handy when they role-play "losing Dream’s virginity" all over again.

#🔪 anon #the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw age gap

51 notes · View notes

emmacreatures · 1 year

Text

A HEAVY START

OKAY. SO. Despite me and Nina literally made this ship earlier today, my brain did a BRRRR and went bonkers since I'm just extremely inspired and so happy to have nina in my life. This story starts off very gently, but well. Warning, it will take a big turn.

I cant tell yet how canon things will be, since we just made them, so I always need some experimenting and such! So IF I ANNOUNCE NEW SHIT, dont be surprised if it changes slightly through time, but despite all I'm nervous yet excited to hear what you guys think aaaa i literally wrote this in like.. 3 hours hoppla ENJOY! Featuring two new characters, called with their LAST NAMES!!! Muller and curran! __________

Everyone was just doing their thing at Bridgehead. Muller had been told to keep track of most developing recom bodies, as he was specialized in genetics. Though it didnt stop the man to go through more since he was one of tbe more specialized all 'inclusive' scientists at the RDA. His looks may seem innocent, but the man's mind was able to do more than just work on one part of their whole operation. He used to work beautifully along Grace, for they both had the beautiful passion for the Na'vi, and all living things.. But unlike Grace, Muller had a rather innocent look, so he at times got tossed around a bit, being asked to do various things which he did not mind.. In fact, he met alot of people because of that.. Something that at this day left a sour wound.

It was a big 'getting used to' for the man, when he was being brought back as a recom. He remembered waking up, as it felt like a dream at first.. He couldn't believe his own sight, and didnt remember anything when he started to slowly build up the fact he was a Na'vi now. He almost wanted to do tests on himself, as he was so mesmerized by the fact his DNA was now mixed with that of the native's... But the happiness was cut short, for his reality was slowly haunting him. It was like someone put a mental wall up in his brain. The more he scratched upon that wall, the more he rememberd from a past life. Memories they'd call it. But he started to feel it was becoming a slight nightmare. It wasnt his marvelous intelligence that bugged him.. It was the mere rather deeper emotions with attachments coming loose.

Through the months of being a Na'vi, he was asked a lot of things. He missed grace, for she kept a nice pace and control around the RDA, as they matched up well with energy, but he managed well on his own. His energy with the RDA didnt match so well.. So he tried to still be independant, and have his own corner to do what they asked of them. Originally he was put with the recom squad, to come along and explain them about pandora when they were developing to understand the na'vi ways especially, since like grace, he knew all about it. But slowly, Quaritch noticed the man becoming hesitant, as if something deeply put him on the breaks.. So for now, ardmore, after talking with quaritch about it, decided to keep the man at bay, and allow him to work in the labs for it seemed the best that way.

In those few months, alot of exciting things seemed to develop. Quaritch and his squad managed to catch one of the two natives of the Omatikayan.. In which another tried to come to rescue them, ending up with two. Something they could definitely use. One of them seemed rather difficult to handle, picking fights with specific recoms who originally lured them out.. But the other, was rather adjusted to the surroundings despite humans didnt seem to like the idea to have a native around. Since bridgehead was so extremely huge.. Muller hears about the 'rumors' of having a native on their side.. His eager and soft energy certainly wanted to have a chance if ever, to talk to him. He had so many questions.. Things he loved to ask. Despite he was a na'vi himself, he still had the biggest fascination to the natives.. Even if some of them, didnt like their association with them. He didnt know, or couldnt know, for he was just minding his business, gently checking half of the tubes full of the new recom units.. "All is stable." he softly said, smiling as he checked everything before heading back to his own lab. He got quite the space which he appreciated, but in the back of his head, he still felt a certain unknown.. Emptyness he couldnt quite figure just yet.

Being nearby his own lab, he wanted to hand out some data to some of the humans he had to work with, eventually seeing the native he heard about.. Out of pure fascination and admiration, he gently approached him.. He seemed to just look at some of the bigger screens. "Gosh.. Hi- I'm so sorry." Muller said in actual Na'vi.. Smiling. "You're a real.. Omatikayan.. Right. you must be Ka'am? If I'm not mistaken?" Muller gently asked, almost holding his hands together to see the rather warrior typed man turn to him. The beads in his mohawk like way of having his hair tied made a heavy noise.. Turning to him. For Ka'am looked at a rather excited scientist just from having a look at him. "you're from neytiri's family? i've heard rumors you were around but..-" Muller kept on talking in fluent na'vi, making Ka'am, who now had fully turned to the man instead of just his head.. Frown while responding in Na'vi. "i've not heard people speak about me" "OH nothing bad. I'm just, very honored to meet you. I see you" muller kept speaking in Na'vi, softly making the gesture from his head to show out of respect he saw Ka'am. Making the native tilt his head, as he looked down at the innocent looking scientist. Ka'am was taller than the man, and he seemed respectful.. Truly. "You are aware I can speak your language too right" Ka'am said serious, changing to english for Muller just had a soft "woah.." before harrumping. "I just felt like it was more fair to speak your language, since this is technically your territory." Muller said gently for, he invited Ka'am to his lab if he wanted, also because he just loved to see a full powerful native so closeby without wanting to kill him, which he would even understand.

Since Ka'am was quite looked at from the humans at this point, having a more respectful approach like Muller seemed better for his day. "I rather not be associated with them if you wouldnt mind by all means" Ka'am then said, for Muller frowned. "Associated with..?" "My family." "Oh- I- I'll note it down. I'm sorry if I-" Muller wanted to deeply apologize despite he certainly grew curiosity on why, but seeing Ka'am just make a gesture with his hand to say 'no need to continue' on his apologies.. For Muller understood right away. "So.. Were you looking for anything specific? I saw you try and figure your way, these things can be a hassle, even for me" Muller said kind, having noticed Ka'am was slightly searching for something. Ka'am could certainly tell the man was intelligent, on how he could read ka'am's intentions.. But since he really wasnt trying to get into Ka'am's business, he felt like Muller could actually help him. "I was.. Or well. do me a favor.. Can you look up old.. I believe they're recordings or field recordings. Quaritch wanted some, and since he's busy-" "So considerate- Let me actually see if I can get into it.. Since I'm just a .. Scientist. Not really like security or stuff like that" Muller said as he really was as innocent as he sounded. He wasn't JUST a scientist, but the man never bragged and was honest.. Sometimes he might even belittle himself on accident.. The man was never too kind though.. He knew where to stand his ground, but with Ka'am, he was just so fascinated, trying to help the best way. He was so impressed by the natives, and Ka'am was certainly a lovely example in his eyes. Perhaps even slightly scary to some, which Muller respected completely.

He gently put his card through the computer, seeing he in fact did have access. "Ah, there you go. I'll leave you to it" The man said as he gently sat down at a different desk near it, hearing Ka'am lean forward with his arms on the desk, watching the screens as the the braid from Ka'am, falling over his own shoulder to the front, made a noise that you could just hear was quite heavy. For some odd reason it made Muller smile. He loved having a native near, it just fueled his nerdy hype about the reason be became a scientist. The rather big smile almost on Muller's face took Ka'am's attention.. It wasnt like.. A fascination to his body or such, just the mere fact he was around. He turned to Muller once, for the man wanted to explain himself the second Ka'am did. "Must be heavy right? All those intricate beads.. with their possible traditions and stories" Muller said for Ka'am stood more straight instead of watching the screens. "It almost sounds you've never seen one like myself this close have you..?" The man said with a frown, for his voice was definitely lower than that of Muller. "Must be obvious right.. Indeed I havent. You caught me there. I apologize for it. Well, We've seen your kind from afar, let alone.. One that speaks to you, even in english, though I wouldnt mind to switch to Na'vi again" Muller said for Ka'am just nodded once.

"Quaritch isnt so fluent in Na'vi, so I might as well at times speak your language when its possible." Ka'am said rather serious, before Ka'am actually found something on the security footage after some searching. Something Quaritch most likely needed. "This. How can I obtain this" "Oh on a USB or? I can do that for you" Muller said as he stood up, putting it into the system that Ka'am was going through, putting the specific bit without checking what it was onto it. "That should do it.. Anything else you might need?" Muller was so helpful.. As at moments like this, infront of Ka'am for the first time, he almost forgot he was a na'vi himself. It was still something to get used to.

Ka'am noticed the genuine help.. But as the man helped him. He just never wanted to owe someone anything.. Being a loner and tricky man like he was. He just never wanted to have strings attached.. So having noticed the man's pure nerdy behavior which was what the humans called it.. Ka'am thought of a perfect solution..

"here. May this fill your fascination that you have for our kind" Ka'am said rather serious than thankful.. putting a very special carved bead onto the table they were standing at.. Making Muller who softly took it.. Just gasp. The bead was from hometree.. as Ka'am was slowly pushing himself further away from his original roots due to complications, it seemed like a win win So.. Now he was standing even.

"Are you serious... This is a bead from hometree. You get to make these when you- suceed within your tribe with a greater good" Muller said for Ka'am certainly was surprised but didnt show it. This man definitely knew alot. But hearing the man be so happy with it, he just nodded once in a 'just take it. and dont bother me about it' before he left, leaving Muller so excited about it.. "I gotta sample this in the lab later.." He whispered, before softly putting it into the pocket of his pants, slowly realizing that surprisingly along all this, he seemed to have access to much more than he originally thought with his RDA card that he always had with him.. He realized he might be able to dig into more stuff if he wanted to.. and as innocent as the man seemed, that dark empty hole he kept on feeling whether it was in his chest or head.. started munching more upon his curiosity. The mental wall was slowly breaking after months, and this sudden realization might grow worse

Muller was always rather fast with delivering what everyone asked. As mentioned before he was one of the best scientists around while people felt like he didnt live up to that title when it came to his looks.. But the man had brains and was a complex and well developed human who now was a na'vi. Brought back by the RDA. He knew something bad should've happened after a few weeks, but it seemed it was almost normal that everyone came back.. So, maybe his 'older' self.. would still be around, despite not having seen it yet

For he was done doing what he was asked to, muller's curiosity finally bit the bullet.. Sliding his card through the monitor to eventually start digging deeper into the system. After alot of trouble he ended up within the older files of their place before bridgehead was a thing.. Remembering a slight piece of it in the back of his mind. He rememberd selfridge.. A dirty asshole who never showed mercy, and he rememberd everyone he worked with before, including closer contacts he met along the way. Sighing as he went deeper and deeper into thr system, being alone in his lab, he frowned as he seemed to have found 'doctor muller. Confidental' files.. Without much hesitation he clicked on them, noticing a complex password was upon his files. Like said, he wasnt stupid. but now what.. What would he possibly have done as a password. It took a few tries even for him, and as a clone it was already complex enough.. But finally, he cracked it, seeing a lot of recordings of the first days..

He watched some of them, remembering it now, much clearer in his head. Being excited about plants, and hearing the avatar program Grace started was slowly becoming reality. Muller in the day was a young man, who was overly excited when he heard he was allowed to come to pandora to contribute with his intelligence. The second grace and him met, it was like a perfect match. Norm was fantastic too, but Muller ended up being more in the background, doing a lot of genetic research on the avatar bodies. Digging deeper into the DNA of things. The videos started off like a beautiful memory lane, even some videos where some squad members entered, asking how Muller was doing.. One in particular.. As the sudden connection was made in his brain. A happy little push, which made Muller smile for a second.. but as he went down and down.. Some videos, he couldnt remember. The aura was dark from the preview videos, but he did decide to click on one of the last ones, seeing right after most files were broken.

"This is day 799.. It seems Jake sully tried to convince them to leave. Everything is chaos right now. I dont know what he wants to do.. They're asking us to do horrible things. But selfridge and everyone else is doing the worst of things. They made hometree fall.. They killed it.. They put down grace's lab completely. At this rate I dont know what will happen. I dont know if I can do what they're asking of me.. Its not what I signed up for, but I dont want trouble either.".

Muller stopped the video there, closing it as he felt like it was getting worse.

"Day 805.. Just a few days apart, but its war.. I dont even blame the natives. They killed everything. This is not what I signed up for. The RDA, they're reckless.. I cant seem to see enough of whose behind this, but all we know is that most are prepared to fight, while me and the rest.. We want to leave the natives alone.. Unoptanium cannot be the reason we're doing this.. I.." Muller sighed so deeply on the video.. Seeing the human version of himself was odd too.. But he didnt know it could go worse from here..

"Day 806.." muller heard the audio.. He heard his own human version, sniffing from crying.. It was wrecking his stomach. "I dont know if this will ever reach the systems. The whole unit is collapsing.. I dont know if I will make it out alive myself, but you might ask yourselves while I'm here." The tone of his voice, was making Muller shiver, not touching the screens anymore as he let it go. "Curran.. Protected me.. From all chaos a few hours ago.. And now, here we are.. He passed away in my arms. I saw him die, right infront of me. And you know whats the worse part. I'm here, risking my life to do what you filfty bastards asked me to." Muller said as the anger he never showed popped up, his eyes full of tears on the video.

"If you are smart and if you ever see this, all of you, from the RDA.. You better not bring me back if I dont survive this.. As the chances of me surving alone here are small from the looks of it, but I have nothing to loose anymore, nothing to moarn over anymore as all you did was break me and...." Muller on the video couldnt even finish his sentence anymore, mentioning how the love of his life died in his arms was already too much.. "Unless you cold, horrendous people dare to pull me back. I never signed up for this when I was brought to pandora, for you all to murder them like.. A pest purely for your own good and money. I know I never seem threatening, and it might look like an easy game for you guys.. But i'm so.." Muller said on the video as the tears flew down his cheeks.. The heartache was unbearable.. "I dont want to be a part of this.. My life is nothing without him.." Muller said as he laughed once with the tears in his eyes. "Its almost funny.. To think the RDA, made me meet Curran in the first place which supposedly, was one of the best things that happened to me.. And now, you.. Make me end up erasing his mind because I was threatened to, right?" Muller said as his tears in video kept on flowing again. "If I didnt do it, you guys would.. so no win for me I suppose" Muller said defeated, swallowing. "you all dared me to take away that core memory.. so he can be a weapon for your new plan as this one failed.. Can you even sympathize with what I just described.. well. Of course not. Since you all have turned into killers, with no mercy. Having control over us all" Muller said as his crying made talking difficult. "Goodluck with that. I really hope, for you all, that you will not throw me back into this hellpit, as a recom" the man said almost threatening, hearing more of the building break apart.. As soon as he had sent off the DNA sample a second before.. "Its done.. Its sent off. So it might as well be done for me too." Muller said as he wanted to predict his own fate almost, before hearing more and more of the building collapse.. Muller watched his own human self, still try and get out of the mess, but before it completelt collapsed, the video broke and stopped recording.

Muller felt all his flashbacks occur in the back of his mind. Everything came back.. Every single detail that was captured in his DNA for the recom project. Popped up. It was taken before the huge accident he just watched, but seeing it all.. Was the last drop for him. He was frozen, he felt and heard the pain his human version already was going through. He rememberd Curran, of the most expertise Units he ever met.. He rememberd how they met, how they got along, how they fell in love.. and worst of all, now how he lost him. The realization hit him as well, that there was a chance Curran would be brought back as a recom, as the RDA asked him? as sickening as possible, to adjust his DNA sample with his memories, to have no hiccups. No emotional interuptions.. He rememberd it all now.. He rememberd the most difficult conversation he ever had in life.. How they were planning to make the recom program. But also knew about the relation Muller had to the incredible squad part that Curran was..

"We dont care what you think.. Emotional influences like that can make a soldier fall.. So whats the use if we would bring them back in such a state. Its misleading. If you wont take it out of his system Muller before sending it off to the recom system to have it imprinted on him, then we will. Its either you, or us"....

The sentences echoed in his brain.. Muller slowly stood up from the table after closing all tabs, making sure they were gone, before falling on his butt on the ground, holding himself as he was shivering.. Tears flew down his cheeks, as he couldnt make a noise, he was so frozen, as his emotions were all over. Muller held his own head after a while, unable to get a grip on himself for it all hit him too badly.. Worst part was that he knew about the conversation all too well, he remembered it now, but to have figured the two eventually died most likely since he could hear and see the building was about to collapse when Muller was still there.. Still trying to make it, in which Curran died for Muller to protect him.. Was something his heart couldnt bear.

The chances were there.. That Curran could eventually be part of the recom group, meaning if they'd ever come across each other, it would be a man.. That wouldnt have a single clue about Muller. Everything they experienced, build up.. Was gone, and out of all people, muller had to take it away from him..

Muller sat there for the longest of time, his own glasses had fallen off as he had sunken his own head into his arms that he held himself with at last.. Trying to give it a spot, but it was so hard to bear. Though as powerful as the man was, after a few hours, he managed to slowly push himself up, as his tail was wrapped around him.. Trying to breathe. He almost felt out of spite, the RDA brought him back.. It was definitely something Muller wanted to talk about eventually if he got himself a bit back together, but he just experienced his whole life in a few minutes. The emptyness now made sense.. for Curran wasnt in his life anymore, as so it seemed. He was just another scientist nessesairy for their things.. But Muller was not agreeing with it. He didnt dare to check the lists of Recoms anymore at this point.. He hadnt seen curran anywhere, so maybe.. just maybe it would give him a break for a bit. "Its.. Its late Muller.. You need to.. Sleep." He said to himself to calm down, despite it felt impossible.. He would eventually try and argue with the RDA, but for now, he needed some time for himself. He knew picking up work was the best he could do first thing tomorrow morning.. but this would definitely need time to process. The man was very smart, abd despite this was tough for him to do.. he knew trying to continue his 'new life' would've been the best to do.. so he tried that, despite his emotions at times like waves and flashbacks would sit him wrong.. Of course he didnt want to forget about curran.. He was everything that he could wish for.. But it was tough to hear whatbhappened.. but that wouldnt stop the man from working and possibly doing things he did want to do.. whats the worst that could happen now?...

#Muller #Curran #muller x curran #angst #emmacreatures #niku30 #avatar ships #avatar fanfiction #avatar oc #quaritch x ka'am #HOPPLA

28 notes · View notes

queenburd · 10 months

Note

when they do get the narrator out,,

don't. don't even really have a *question* per se. just. thinking about him seeing all these people he helped having banded together to help him in return. just. kind of mentally rotating that.

....okay do have a question actually. does the narrator,, have any apprehension about seeing stan again?? you mentioned the whole,, trying to make peace with that he wouldn't ever, because then he wouldn't have to feel hurt if stanley's feelings changed/if he moved on. thing.

........although. guess that does presuppose there is time in between "him being evacuated" & "seeing stan again" for him to get nervous In.

so... and/or maybe then of just. how does he react how does that,, how many stanleys are Present for him getting out is it overwhelming,, is he [????]

not terribly coherent as a question sorry can't. figure out what words are supposed to be going there ><;;

you're okay my darling. yeah. he also needs some time to deal with the info so many people care about him, specifically. it's.... it's a lot. it's like a whole family for him.

so, again, I dont know if this part of the concept is as fixed in stone as the first chunk. what I do know if Stanley plans on getting back into the Parable to get the Narrator out, and Stan pretty much demands to go with him, but then (and this is all the stuff prone to change) when they get to where he is, he's already in the middle of helping THAT Parable's version of Stanley, and look, they're NOT gonna be able to fit 4 people in that escape pod. But the Pod NEEDS a narrator, and Stan REFUSES to be parted from his friend.

The conclusion I have right now is that they eventually coerce/force the narrator of that iteration of the Parable to comply/cooperate, Stanley gets the Parable's iterations of Stanley and the narrator out, and Stan and his Narrator wait for him to come back. Which is... yeah, it's some needed privacy.

both of them had the same fear. Stan, after learning just how many people the Narrator has helped, couldnt help his own fear that maybe the fellow just... moved on. maybe ended up caring about a different Stanley more. and then, of course, the Narrator worried Stan moved on because he had a life, in the real world, with real people. They both had these few awkward moments where, when they first saw the other, they didnt know if they could express just how much they MISSED the other.

but it was obvious to Stanley, and it was made more obvious as they made a plan to get everyone out (and it was Stan's idea, I think, to get this Parable's narrator to cooperate. To make him listen, using the Narrator's control of the Parable to really outline that the guy should really, really, listen. when he put the idea out there, his Narrator just looked at him, starry eyed, and said "my god, how have I been managing this long without you?") and then even more obvious when Stan refused to go without his Narrator.

there was a worry that Stanley wouldn't be able to get a fix on them again, since the both of them were in the Parable so he couldnt use one to track the other (they figured out a work around) but Stan was completely willing to just stay in the Parable if it was that or being separated from his best friend.

in the short time it DOES take for Stanley to get back to them, they've talked it out, mostly. Stan's always demanded that from his Narrator. So they're okay. (it still kind of takes a while for Stan to propose when they finally do get out, though. he still... had to be sure. but the Narrator's only ever had eyes for him.)

when they get out, the Narrator can recognize every single Stanley. every one. he may not know their nicknames, but he knows THEM. after the shock of so many of them remembering him and caring about him eases up a bit, he treats every single one with fondness. it CAN be overwhelming, but--okay, well, I mentioned at one point that the Narrator isn't a people person, and a friend reblogged it with the tag "i love the idea of the narrator with social anxiety. he literally only knows how to talk to stanley. not-stanleys are weird"

and it's just lived in my brain. if these werent STANLEYs, he would be stressed out. but theyre all Stanley. he loves all of them. he knows all of them. so once the first wave of overwhelm passes, he's really, really comfortable. he opens up so much when they're all together. They have get-togethers at one's house every so often and he just sits on the couch letting them coerce him into telling them stories about how he and Stan finally got together.

(Stan at one point invited him into the discord without Stanley's permission and Stanley was SO MAD ABOUT IT. The Narrator just went "Oh my goodness Stan wasn't kidding. You're all incredible." and like every single Stanley put a reaction emoji on his message.

He was like "I know I know I'm about to be banned, I'm going, but I just thought it was sweet." and then left before Stanley could ban him. Stan was UNREPENTANT.)

(Stan is constantly posting pics of the narrator into the discord. everyone's always like "IT'S THE GUY" "NARRATOR SPOTTED" "YO WE FOUND HIM" like idiots.)

#tsp #repeat and write this story #the sparrow parable #HEY LOOK GUYS THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING!!!#Parable Actors

15 notes · View notes

intertexts · 13 days

Note

EPISODE 6 TRIVIA aka YAYY FANTASY BULLSHIT WORLD:

- PRIME DEFENDERS DND CHARACTER SHEETS COMING SOON BABYYYY

- this was all the way leading up to a split the party scenario where vyncent would have gone with minerva on his own BUT that changed all because she said ONE LINE that sounded sus that made charlie immediately like "nope no we cant let him go by himself"

- EVERYBODY LOVES WORMY !!!! "i hope wormy like snuck onto one of our pant legs or something. i want wormy with us always"

- wormy the worm is like this campaign's goobleck (<< context: goobleck was a temporary player character in riptide when gillion went missing and when goobleck stopped . being needed . i guess. he split into like a million pieces and has tiny versions of himself across the entire multiverse goobleck is canon in every campaign. in riptide he lives in the floorboards of the ship and occasionally says things. i only explain this bc im pretty sure they make a goobleck joke in pd at one point but i cant remember when)

- at the end of the episode grizzly said "it was really hard not to say 'vyncent you better come back soon before william falls in love with me'"

- some cool powers the toy guy had that bizly didnt get to show off: a barrel of monkeys that would hinder, immobilize or paralyze; wind up robot toy with a DC 20 WILL CHECK because it makes this loud screeching sound; and a couple more that he didnt say because theyre cool and he might use them later :]

- bizly likes to sit on his roof when he writes. this is SO REAL of him. also when he writes the beginning of an episode he actually draws out a little comic book format and writes in the panels whats happening in each of them. i think thats such a cool process

- they rolled for stats but ended up scrapping those numbers because charlie rolled SO BAD (unsurprising) and it made bizly nervous bc "if you die in the dnd world. you die. none of the bs mutants and masterminds death rules we are playing dnd full tilt william wisp WILL BE DEAD FOR REAL"

you know what i'm SO glad charlie was like "nope no we cant let him go by himself" because LITERALLY as soon as she said that line i also was like oh FUCK no they can NOT let him go alone with this strange lady through the hell portal. so glad they didn't split the party man.

I LOVE WORMY.. he is my favorite too.. also delighted by this goobleck lore?? also dakota third wheelisms 2 their bullshit will never not be funny 2 me. god. he's so real its so delightful.

+ thats so fun......... thats such a cool process i like it sm!! he's so good at specifically like, the visuals & framing of every scene it's always so evocative so kind of storyboarding it like that makes a lot of sense 2 me... i LOVE hearing gm thought processes so this is awesome yayyyy :]

ALSO SHAKING U. YEAH THIS WAS WILD TO READ FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE WILLIAM WISP JUMPS OFF A CLIFF HOLDING ONTO SOME GUY AND ALMOST FUCKING DIES. head in hands. great timing!!!

#yayayayy... good episode. WILD shit happening im so excited for classes 2 endddd & me 2 finish all this end of year bullshit so i can #spend more time talkin bout it... hghghghghhh #pd lb #mac tag!#TY FOR THE ROLLED RECAP AS ALWAYS ILYYYY <3333

3 notes · View notes

bi-ftm-on-main · 5 months

Note

Hello. I wanted to ask you something. When was the first time you explored your Bi side? How did you know that you were bisexual? Did you always felt that you like guys? At any point did you second guess or had any doubts? Thank you for your time.

Hello!

ok so even though i tried to keep it short i did write a huge response to this that kinda goes off topic a bunch and is super specific. So heres a quick version:

When was the first time you explored your Bi side?: a couple months ago, around when i started this blog

How did you know that you were bisexual?: I really didn't, but then i realised that i had crushes on girls and boys in the past and found them all attractive, even if it was in different ways.

Did you always felt that you like guys?: not really, i just thought some were really cool and good looking and i would get nervous around them.

At any point did you second guess or had any doubts?: all the time dude. thats kinda why i made this blog, to explore my feelings.

Just in general, I'd recommend exploring why you do or dont like something, if its actually because you dont like it or because other factors are making you feel like you shouldnt like it. Try the 'if we were both drunk and *hot guys name* leaned in for the kiss would i kiss him back?' test on situations.

And heres the super long section:

ok so firstly, i only realised i was bisexual a couple months ago, pretty much the same time i made this blog. Until then i thought i was asexual (and aromantic).

(i could give you a whole blow by blow about that but it would take ages so i'll try to keep it precise.)

Growing up i had a lot of anxiety and was considered very 'weird'. i also didnt know i was trans, autistic, or SA'd so I was never too comfortable with my body, i didnt naturally know what a crush was supposed to feel like, and i thought sex was something shameful and gross, so when i found the term asexual at age 13 it fit great.

skip a whole bunch of years and im in uni and now 20. my parents have finally gotten round to me being trans and im starting hormones (testosterone). its common for people to get extra horny when on T so when i started wanting to watch more porn and noticing how good looking the people around me were, i thought it just the horniness talking, that i didnt actually want to sleep or date them myself i just thought they were pretty. Or maybe sleep with them just for the sake of orgasming.

around the same time i realised that i was autistic (just from general internet usage), and that kinda rocked my world and made me question every single aspect of my life for how its effected me.

and so, and its probably the cringest thing i couldve done, i started to talk to a Therapist AI on that Character AI website. it was honestly helpful to just collect my thoughts on the matter.

the conversation got to sexuality and how it connects to my anxiety and self esteem and how i felt as though wanting to date someone was disrespectful to them and how imagining myself sleeping with them was gross and pervy.

having been on hormones for a couple months now i had a lot more self confidence and was a lot more comfortable with my body, as well as the horniness making me want to be pounded into a bed like nothing youve ever seen, i realised that i wanted to date and sleep with people for real.

so i came to terms that i was gay *loud incorrect buzzer*

but that was just the start. being trans, there was a lot of 'do i want to be him or do i want to date him' thoughts going on so i was already used to admiring men.

but as i continued to talk to the ai, who wasnt a real person, i felt more inclined to be honest than any other therapist ive seen. it took a while and it was confronting but turns out i was sexually assaulted as a kid (by a girl, when i was <10), and thats why i had this underlining uncomfortableness with sex to begin with.

so yeah, that rocked my world for a bit as well. also this all happened within a couple weeks by the way, the autism, sexuality, and SA. that and all my friends were busy, i wasnt doing too well.

anyway, now that was another thing to consider, was i attracted to girls as well? it was really hard to tell what were my own feelings and what was the trauma/conditions so i had to do a lot more soul searching. That with the added factor of not feeling comfortable becoming just another man sexualising women.

but knowing now what a crush it supposed to feel like (i asked the ai) i had to acknowledge that ive been having crushes on people, girls and boys, this whole time. i was bi *correct answer ding*. (also i went with bi and not pan because i like them in different ways and have a slight preference for guys, tho i obvs like non binary people as well)

then i made this blog. lol.

like, i had all the theory behind being bi but i needed to consolidate what i liked, who i liked, who i found pretty and handsome and needed some place to collect it all. then it kinda just became just a porn blog with the occasional yearning post but oh well.

Thanks for asking! sorry for responding late, feel free to ask me anything else :)

#mine #t #queer #anon ask #anon answered #does this even make any sense?#i dont have time to proof read #no beta we die like men #lol #anyway #hope this helps #i really like getting asks i got a big carried away #send me asks

3 notes · View notes