#''Well don't you feel like you've missed out on [high school] experiences?'' yeah. I'm also certain I wouldn't have been included if I was | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

niningtori · 1 month

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let me into your world | chapter one: my world is mine

pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, choi soobin x you

summary: you're a hopeless romantic waiting for your soulmate, but what do you do when you finally find him and he doesn't want you?

genre(s): romance, angst, angst with a happy ending (?), soulmate au

word count: 7.1k

notes: for some reason, i feel SO embarrassed to post this. it was the first series i ever wrote, so it's getting a facelift before seeing the light of day, but it's still a little flabby in some places. bear with me, please! also, shoutout to evie for this layout with the lyrics in the center :') i'm tired of looking at my own uglyass posts so much omg. see ending for more notes!

your soulmate is perfect in every way, or so you've been told, and you're sick of waiting to find out. everyone says meeting your soulmate is like finding the other half you never had, so when the yearning had started when you were a teen, you were eager to find him and put an end to your constant ache. it would be impossible to know who it was until your seal appeared on your skin. where it would land and what it would look like, you weren't sure, but you knew it couldn't come fast enough. in theory, he would complement you in every way. you imagine someone quiet, a little shy, maybe. someone thoughtful, someone patient and understanding. you just hope to god he's everything you wish him to be.

beomgyu has had just about enough of soulmate talk, but unfortunately for him, it's inescapable. when he turned 13, the yearning had already started for most of his peers. when his friends asked if he felt similarly, he simply shrugged his shoulders with a smug little grin while musing that he might not even have a soulmate — maybe he was just partnerless. some of his friends, like taehyun and kai, were appalled by this, almost pitying him. half of his heart was missing, after all. some of his other friends, however, were a bit jealous. their reasoning was "it'd be nice to not be chained down by someone you don't even know". he agreed with the latter sentiment, having seen the effects of being chained to somebody firsthand.

he remembers watching his mother wither away. she had loved his father more than anyone, even him, and got scraps of affection in return. they weren't soulmates — her perfect other half had died not long after she met him, but his father became her second and last love. he didn't concern himself with soulmate talk and eventually married beomgyu's mother. they were happy, very happy, until beomgyu was around 10 and his father met his so-called soulmate. he remembers the sheer despair on his mother's face as she found out her husband was leaving seemingly out of nowhere, her life uprooted because of a fucking pattern imprinted on her lover's skin.

they weren't soulmates, but beomgyu watched his mother die a little every day until she finally passed. dying of a broken heart was the only way he could explain what happened to her, and she did all that for a man who wasn't even her soulmate. if soulmates could make you kill someone innocent for your love, he didn't want to find his at all. if love could make you abandon everything you've ever known, well, he simply didn't want to know what it felt like.

college is a turning point for you, you feel. you had a good time in high school, but you're nearing the average age of the seal and you're more than prepared to find your special someone. you couldn't know for sure, but you have a feeling none of the boys in your high school were your other half.

"why don't you date just to get some experience?" sumin asks somewhat exasperatedly. you had rejected yet another guy with seemingly good intentions for practically no reason.

"i don't know, i guess i just don't want to waste my time on anybody else when i already know my soulmate is out there waiting on me," you shrug. "i want to save all my firsts for him."

"you're hopeless, you know?" she snorts.

"yeah," you smile, "but he's probably the same way." she teases you good-naturedly for this, but even she agrees that you'll most likely fall for a guy just as hopelessly in love as you are. he wouldn't even have to try very hard — you're willing to put in however much effort it takes to find him and love him unconditionally. all he needs to do is reciprocate and you would do the rest.

unfortunately for you, time has passed and you're nearing the end of your time in college with no soulmate in sight. you'd be more upset about it if you weren't so fucking busy with school work and trying to line up a job post-graduation. you're so wound up lately that sumin practically forces you to let loose and go to a house party. needless to say, they aren't particularly your scene. you like to drink just as much as anybody else does, you guess, but that doesn't mean you want to reek of shitty beer, sweat, and premarital sex, which will undoubtedly be the case once you step into a college house party. still, she is as persistent as you are exhausted and you're too defeated to fight.

you're fairly bored after fifteen minutes or so of loitering around all the action, never really joining in on the antics of your friends and all the other party goers unless you absolutely have to. you're absentmindedly kicking around a beer can when it rolls away, straight in front of a couch. you go to kick it again when you look up and see him.

you can't keep your eyes off of him. you've found people attractive before, but he's probably the most beautiful person — maybe even the most beautiful thing — you've ever seen. your heart almost stops when you look at him.

in that moment, the idea that he could be the one blooms in your head and you can't help but stare. you don't how long you keep your eyes locked on him, but he eventually looks up at you and his eyes widen for a split second. you're almost positive he feels what you feel, but not even a moment later, he pulls out what you can only describe as a lascivious smirk as his eyes travel up and down your figure. you feel like meat on display rather than his sacred other half. before you know it, a girl is sliding into his lap and he's turning away from you and planting a heavy kiss on her glossy lips while groping her ass.

"that's beomgyu," sumin says and you're snapped back into reality. "he's really hot, but he's slept with pretty much every girl here."

you're somewhat disappointed before you realize you must be mistaken. there's no way a man like that could be your soulmate. you strangle the bud of hope in your heart mercilessly because your soulmate is somewhere waiting for you and you can't afford to lose him over some pretty boy with community dick.

you said you'd avoid him, but beomgyu is the first one you notice when you walk into the first class of your final semester as a college student. his eyes lock with yours and you hurriedly avert your gaze before sliding into the nearest seat.

"hi," a sweet voice from next to you says. you jolt and turn to look at him.

"sorry, i didn't mean to scare you," he laughs.

"it's okay, i'm just a little jumpy, i guess," you grin sheepishly.

"i'm soobin," he smiles and you can see his dimples come out. you briefly wonder if he'd mind if you poked them, but that sounds weird even to you.

you introduce yourself and find you're forgetting all about beomgyu as you and soobin begin to chat. he's funny in a dorky kind of way, and you can't help but giggle at the seemingly unassuming things he says.

beomgyu notices you when you first walk in because of course he does, but he sees you sit next to soobin, a guy he met in freshman year, and feels a sense of loss he's never felt before. he watches as you grin and giggle at whatever lame jokes the boy next to you is almost certainly making and his eyes darken. yeonjun, his longtime friend and desk mate, notices his sour mood and asks what's wrong. beomgyu can't really answer that question. even he himself doesn't know why he feels so against you, a stranger, spending time with another guy, but he chalks it up to the fact that he thinks you're hot and would very much like to get in your pants as soon as possible.

he supposes he should have done so when he first saw you, but duty called when one of his frequent flyers sat in his lap and he couldn't very well ignore the way her chest swayed in front of him. he doesn't think about it much more deeply than that. he doesn't want to think about how your eyes seem to indicate that you know him — have known him — and he feels the same way about you. he toys with the idea of maybe asking you if you two knew each other at some point, but deep down, he knows he'd never forget you if he actually had known you before. he tries not to think about why that is.

a few weeks into the semester, you've sat next to soobin every day and it's safe to say you have a tiny little crush on him, but you know he's not your soulmate when he rolls his sleeves up one day and you spot a green seal on his wrist. you roll up your own sweater, just to be sure, but there's no pretty green tattoo to match. he spots your empty wrist and the expression on his face looks an awful lot like disappointment.

"i don't really care about that stuff, you know?" he whispers as your professor drones on and on about something you've stopped listening to long ago.

"really?" you ask a little too eagerly before reining yourself back in. what are you doing? you have a soulmate and he's waiting for you.

"really, really," he smiles. you prepare to launch into a long speech about the sanctity of soulmates and how you're waiting devoutly for yours, but instead of pushing the subject any further, he simply turns to the professor again and you're left reeling.

you're pulled back to your senses when the professor announces everyone will be paired up with a partner for an assignment. you and soobin grin at each other and are ready to begin prepping for the project when your professor adds that the partners will be completely random. when he calls soobin's name, your fingers are crossed in hopes that you'll somehow still get lucky, but he ends up pairing him with another classmate named yeonjun. you start getting a sinking feeling, something akin to dread, and you don't know why. clarity overwhelms you when you register that the person your professor opts to pair you with is none other than choi beomgyu.

beomgyu is late to your first library appointment together and though you didn't expect anything less from him, you're still annoyed when he arrives nearly 15 minutes after the scheduled time with nothing but a mumbled "sorry" and a cheeky grin.

"it's fine," you offer, but you both know you're irritated. you're a little bit of a pushover by nature and it's like he could immediately sniff it out. he doesn't even make an attempt to seem like he cares, though.

"are you ready to get started?" you ask.

"of course, what are you waiting for?" you roll your eyes at his shamelessness, frustration melting away without you intending for it to. you're kind of shy, but his presence is so comforting, it's like you've known him for years, so you dare to say your next words without much thought.

"you, smartass." he looks a little appalled at your words but he registers it as a joke when he notices the corner of your lips struggling not to pull themselves up, eyes gazing mischievously from beneath your eyelashes. not for the first time, he thinks you're really pretty. but he, not for the first time, says nothing.

after a few meet ups, you realize being with beomgyu is easier than you thought it would be. sure, he's incredibly obnoxious, but he's surprisingly easy to talk to. he invites you to his apartment one day and, as if he senses your apprehension before you can even feel it yourself, he states his roommate will be there as well. you try not to read too much into it, but you have a feeling he's implying that he won't make any moves on you. you're grateful for this, but unexpectedly a bit disappointed. as for why that is, you don't venture to guess.

being in his apartment is a new feeling entirely. it feels oddly... intimate somehow when you enter his bedroom and see all of his posters, his messy bed, and some vinyls stacked up against his record player. he nonchalantly puts one on and you gasp when you recognize the song.

"i love this band," you say quickly. his eyebrows raise in interest.

"you like them too?"

"of course i do! i've loved them since i was a teenager," you laugh.

"do you like their newer stuff?"

you wrinkle your nose a little bit at this, your answer evident. he laughs his signature squeaky laugh at this and you can't help but stare in awe at his dimples, like whiskers, appearing on his cheeks. you clear your throat awkwardly and begin to talk about the project.

after a few hours and some really great progress, you find you're a little hungry. you're about to mention this, but beomgyu beats you to the punch.

"i'm starving. want pizza?" you smile when you realize you're on the exact same page.

"thought you'd never ask."

you're sitting on his couch now, wolfing down your third piece of pizza while beomgyu slurps the cheese off of his. he's talking about absolutely nothing, but he's still easily drawing more and more laughter out of you with his antics. you tell him to stop because you hate your laugh, but he's addicted to the sound. he wants to keep you laughing. words like "always" and "forever" briefly flicker across his mind, and usually he would force them out with conviction, but he's having such a good time hearing you giggle he can't pay attention to much else. he never says it or gives any indication he feels that way, though. he just tells you "i can't help that i'm so fucking funny and charming and beautiful." you lightly smack the back of his head and he's giggling with you.

things are going remarkably well when his roommate emerges from his room and says a few of his friends will be coming over soon. you don't particularly want to hang around them and you certainly don't want to overstay your welcome, but beomgyu, for reasons unknown, insists that you stick around.

"we can just relax for a bit then get back to work. c'mon, don't you wanna finish this thing?"

"fine, fine, fine. i'll stay." his face lights up at your words and you can't help but blush a little bit at this. why he's so excited, you have no clue. what you also don't know is he has no idea why he's so excited, either.

a few minutes later, a few guys enter the apartment boisterously and you can't help but internally regret sticking around. beomgyu, almost preternaturally, senses how uncomfortable you are and makes an effort to introduce you and include you in conversation. things are going well until one of the guys, whose name you don't know but whose face seems vaguely familiar, makes an offhanded comment.

"y'know, gyu, she's actually very smart. maybe you'll actually pass." the entire group bursts into laughter and joke about his supposed stupidity and laziness.

"he's actually very helpful. i couldn't do this without him," you counter with a little edge to your voice.

"maybe you're not deadweight after all," he says sarcastically. beomgyu just smirks and goes along with it. to the untrained eye, he seems perfectly fine, but to you, he just looks kind of sad. you pull out your phone and decide to text him.

you don't have to laugh if you don't think it's funny

he looks up at you and you nod encouragingly.

it's fine i really am kinda dumb

don't say things you don't mean. you're not their dancing monkey here to entertain them and you're not a fucking punching bag

his heart feels a little sour at this. how did you know he was hurt by their comments, no matter how seemingly harmless they were? even his own friends didn't seem to notice, but somehow, you did. you always seem to notice the little changes within him. like when he's tired and doesn't want to show it, you offer to take breaks or meet another day. or when he's stressed out so you try to wrangle even the smallest of smiles out of him — real ones, that is. he wants to say you're just a thoughtful and perceptive person, but in reality, he thinks it's a little more complicated than that.

it's beomgyu's birthday, which should be a happy occasion, but for some reason, you feel like shit. you wonder if it's a mix of anxiety because of the project or maybe because your time in college is coming to the end, but it feels so much more profound than that. you woke up this morning from a fitful sleep and it feels like there's a hole blown through your heart. if you feel like shit, you don't look much better, but you have to meet with beomgyu at his apartment and you can't be late.

"whoa, you look absolutely awful," he muses when he opens the door and sees you with two appalling dark circles under your eyes.

"wow, thanks, asshole," you mumble. you did, indeed, look and feel like utter shit, but being here seems to bring a sense of relief you did not anticipate.

"hey, i'm just kidding, you look pretty," he laughs. he's been saying things like this, lately. you can't deny the way your heart skips a beat, but you shoot down any further thoughts because you know, know, know he sleeps around and you know that seemingly off-the-cuff comments like this are probably part of the reason why he's able to do so as easily as he does. you're not to be trifled with, though, so instead of letting the comment fly off your back as you usually would, your mouth opens before you know it.

"not as pretty as you, beoms," you smirk. you don't know exactly what you expected, but his ears turning a rosy pink isn't it.

"o-okay," he says sheepishly, clearing his throat. you find him criminally endearing in this moment, and for once, you don't mentally slap yourself for it.

"oh yeah. happy birthday!" you say, pulling out a cupcake and decisively putting an end to the awkwardness.

"thanks," he says with a smile before eyeing you suspiciously. "is this poisoned?"

"give it back," you say monotonously and he giggles when you try to snatch it away from him.

"hey, i'm just kidding! thank you!" he says as he takes a bite and his eyes widen in surprise.

"mmm, how'd you know this flavor's my favorite?"

"i dunno, i didn't. i just kinda figured you'd like it," you shrug. you walk towards his coffee table, which is where you all have been working lately, and again he's plagued with the idea that you know him far more deeply than you should.

working with beomgyu usually goes smoothly, but you're exhausted. you're still incredibly sad for no reason, but being with him makes you feel less... empty? you would try to put a name to the feeling, but you're too tired to do so at the moment.

"want some coffee?" he asks as he watches you yawn for the umpteenth time since you've been here.

"please," you say sleepily. he smiles and gets up from the floor as you bury your head in your hands.

beomgyu has been in a relatively good mood since you've been here, and not just because it's his birthday. he can't explain why, but his mouth has pretty much been etched into a curve ever since you got here. he catches a glimpse of his smiling face in the mirror of his living room before opting to fix his hair a little, mindful of how he looks in front of you. when he does this, he feels a rough patch of skin behind his right ear. he's confused when he runs his fingers over it and feels grooves and lines where there shouldn't be.

he quickly pulls out his phone and takes a picture. what he sees horrifies him. a seal. it's pink and delicate, but has a complicated pattern he couldn't even begin to replicate. the day he's been dreading for years has finally come. he stares at the picture before shaking his head and ruffling his hair to cover it again. no. this changes nothing. he won't let this ruin his day — his life.

he moves to the kitchen and begins to prepare your coffee. when he reenters the living room, he hears you lightly snoring with your head resting on the coffee table. he smiles in spite of himself and places the coffee down. he wants to say you look peaceful, but your eyebrows are furrowed like there's something you can't quite figure out.

he chuckles softly to himself before subconsciously pushing your hair out of your face and behind your ear. that's when he sees it. pink like a blooming flower and as complicated in its pattern as the one on his head. he hurriedly pulls his phone out and compares the picture of his seal to the one behind your ear. he already knows, but he has to be completely sure. he's not surprised in the slightest when he comes to the conclusion that they are, indeed, the same.

when you awaken, you feel a pit in your stomach and you're genuinely on the verge of tears. someone would think you'd had a nightmare, but you hadn't. you're stuck in a whirlwind of emotions when you're snapped away from them by a soft baritone voice.

"you awake?" beomgyu asks.

"shit, i'm sorry!" you exclaim, wiping the drool off of your face and straightening up your hair. "how long has it been?"

"i dunno, an hour or two?" he says nonchalantly. you sense some resentment in his tone and you feel beyond apologetic.

"god, i'm so sorry. let's just finish this really quick and i'll get going. i'm sure you want to be done with this and celebrate your birthday," you say embarrassedly.

"i already finished it," he says, and even through your sleepiness, you feel his disdain.

"you... finished it? alone?"

"why? do you think i'm not capable of doing it by myself?"

"no! not at all! i just feel bad that you had to do it alone," you exclaim.

"well, it's done. so you can leave now," he says, not without urgency.

"leave? but i —" but what? but i wanted to spend more time with you? that doesn't sound right, but that's what you feel.

"you can leave now," he repeats with disgust that you can't quite understand.

"o-okay. i'll get my stuff and go, but shouldn't we review everything together just in case?"

"i have plans, so no," he says firmly. you have no idea why he's so angry. you want to say it's because he had to finish the project alone while you were knocked out and drooling on his coffee table, but it feels much deeper than that.

"thanks for finishing everything. again, i'm so sorry," you say as you gather your things and head for the door. beomgyu is ready to shut the door behind you when you look back to him and softly say "happy birthday, beoms." and the door slams shut.

when you get home, the first thing you do is cry. the pain in your heart is suffocating. you so badly want to know what it is that's causing this seemingly out of nowhere pain, but you can't put your finger on it to save your life. you decide to shower and have another good cry. after you shower, you look in the mirror as you twist your hair up in a towel. your fingertips rub against a rough patch behind your ear when you do so and you're stunned before you register what it is. you take a picture to get a better look at it, but you already kinda know what to expect: a seal.

it's more beautiful than you imagined it'd be, but instead of joy, all you feel is dread. but why? a seal is a happy thing. you should feel relieved to finally have it on you and he should, too. you ponder over this and come to the conclusion that it's not your pain you're feeling, but your soulmate's. you've heard about soulmates feeling each other's emotions before, though it was somewhat rare. the question is: why is he so sad? you don't know how, but you instinctively know it has to do with the seal appearing and it makes you drop to the bathroom floor in tears. this isn't how you wanted it to be. you clutch your chest, willing your heart to stop pounding so hard, but it doesn't.

beomgyu has been avoiding you, that much is clear. as to why that is, you have no idea. he used to greet you and strike up conversation, project be damned. you want to think about this more, but the depression you feel makes it hard to think clearly about, well, anything, really. you feel an emptiness you've never known before, and you can't help but feel like being with him would make it better. in a way, you're glad he finished the project alone because you're sure you wouldn't have been able to be much help at all.

when you walk into the class you share, his absence puts you at a loss you don't understand. you remember that soobin is yeonjun's partner and ask him if he knows anything about beomgyu's whereabouts. he shakes his head.

"i don't know the details, but yeonjun said he's been bummed ever since he got his seal." ever since he got his seal? that means he must have gotten it recently, just like you. the cogs in your brain start to turn and you feel the dread in your stomach again.

"why?” you ask tentatively.

"i dunno. i think he might not like his soulmate, but he won't talk about it any more than that," he shrugs. "hey, are you okay?"

you nod before touching the seal behind your ear. you feel another pang in your heart. what if... what if he has the same seal? what if... beomgyu is your soulmate?

after class, you practically sprint out of the room and to beomgyu's apartment. you pound on his door impatiently and when he doesn't answer, you pound even louder.

"what are you doing here?" he hisses when he swings the door open. you flinch a little, but you're determined to get some answers. you falter when you notice a girl, haphazardly dressed, appearing from behind him.

"who's this, beomie?" she says, voice silky smooth.

"kick rocks," he says simply. she shrugs and makes her way past you while fiddling with her clothes. you don't have to guess what they just got finished doing, and it hurts, hurts, hurts.

"who's that?" you say, eyes glassy.

"what are you doing here?" he asks again, actually a little embarrassed, but never showing an ounce of it. you storm into his apartment and he shuts the door behind you.

"show me your seal," you say determinedly.

"what? no," he answers defensively.

you reach for his long hair to lightly tuck it behind his pierced ears. he wants to stop you, but he can't bear the thought of batting away your hand. he hears you inhale a sharp breath as you see the pink seal behind his ear and he feels his chest becoming heavier and heavier.

"how long have you known?"

"since my birthday," he answers after a slight pause.

"and when were you gonna tell me?"

"probably never," he says truthfully. your hand drops to your side and he subconsciously misses the way your touch felt.

"why?"

"because... because i don't want a soulmate."

"what's so bad about me?" you ask as your lips tremble.

"it's not just you," he sighs. "i've never wanted a soulmate."

"then what's so bad about soulmates?"

"i just don't want one and you can't make me," he snaps and you wince, so he tries again. "look, you're a nice girl and everything, but it's never gonna happen between us, so you need to stop trying."

"even without the seal, i'd still have feelings for you." he looks a little taken aback by this, as if he never expected to hear those words from you or anyone, really, and it makes your heart ache. "can't you just give me a chance?" you look so earnest right now, but he's almost sadistically dedicated to squashing the sprout of hope that is almost certainly peeking out of you right now.

"no, i can't. you're not my type at all. if we weren't soulmates i'd never even look at you." he's lying but if he's not cruel now, he knows you'll never let go.

"but we are soulmates and you are looking at me right now."

"for god's sake, you're not hearing what i'm saying. i will never love you, alright? i tried to be nice about it but you keep pushing me. you look fucking pathetic right now."

your frown deepens, eyes reddened and hot. as a last ditch effort, you hurriedly say your next words.

"i can feel your pain," you whisper and his eyes widen. "i know you feel it every day. i know you're empty and you need somebody — why can't i be that person? i-i'll be whatever you need me to be." you've taken your heart and served it on a silver platter. all he has to do is hold it.

"because you're not what i need! you're not even what i want!"

the silence that follows will haunt him for the rest of his life. you look so small right now, so fragile. he almost wants to take everything back, but he remembers what soulmates mean and what they can do to a person. he looks at how vulnerable you are, how your heart is bleeding in front of him and how easily he can and will break it. he never wants to give anyone that power over him. no fucking way.

"i can feel your pain," you try again, and before he can reply you continue. "can you at least feel mine?" you look absolutely devastated with your eyebrows furrowed pleadingly, sobs racking your body. you look like you're going to be sick.

"i can't and i don't wanna," he answers flippantly with a shrug and a lopsided smile. "that's how much you mean to me." he knows exactly what to say and how to say it, the way only somebody who really knows you ever can. it's the final nail in the coffin for you. you will lock your heart for him in it and bury it as deep as it'll go.

"i've been waiting for you, you know? always. always." your eyes trail down to his hastily thrown on shirt and hickeys adorning his neck. at this, his jaw clenches and his eyes actually close in shame. you're not sure where your pain ends and his begins, but for the first time, you don't really care. a burning rage fills your heart and your dignity demands to be taken seriously for the first time. you're a doormat, sure, but you won't be anymore. not for him, anyway.

"i don't want to see you anymore. don't you ever fucking talk to me again," you finish and with a spin on your heel you're sprinting towards the door.

you are true to your word. when you walk into class after the entire debacle, you don't even spare him a glance. even if you can feel his gaze on you, you remain perfectly unfazed. he asked for this, he thinks. it's the way it should be. still, nothing really consoles him when he sees how tired you look. he can't feel your pain, but he can very well see it, and he wishes he could take it away. he regrets what he said to you, but he knows you'd never give up if he had given you even a sliver of a way out.

you're a good girl, though. a lot of people will come your way if you'll just let them. he feels a pang in his chest when he thinks about what they'll be like. he doesn't like to imagine it very much, but his thoughts wander that way more than he'd like to admit. he can't fathom anyone being good enough for you, really. especially not him.

do you feel the way he hates himself for the way he has to treat you? he doesn't know for sure, but he's pretty convinced when he sees you put your head in your hands, shoulders shaking. soobin quietly asks if you're alright before you bolt out of the room.

it's an end of the year house party thrown by soobin's new friend and former project partner, yeonjun. you truly, honest to god, do not want to go, but sumin really wants you to and you feel guilty because you're unsure when you'll see her again after graduation.

you sit almost catatonically as she does your hair and makeup, dressing you as if you're some kind of doll. when she's finished playing dress-up, you have to give credit where it's due. you look like a new person, but you can still feel the rotten old you underneath the shiny veneer, and it doesn't feel very good at all.

you're sitting in a circle, passing a blunt around when someone mentions him. it's innocuous enough, but you still flinch when you hear it. they joke about how he's probably upstairs getting his dick wet with some exchange student who's only here for a semester. you don't think that's true, if only because you can feel the pull and it feels so fucking lonely and isolated there can't possibly be anyone else around him, but it still hurts to hear all the same.

sumin gets blackout drunk fairly quickly, which is nothing new. what is new, however, is how you match her shot for shot and chug for chug. you know in your head that you should stop, but your heart keeps telling you to drown it, drown it, drown it until you can't feel the pull anymore. so you do.

"my god, you're drunk!" yeonjun exclaims when you're literally about to fall over and bust your head open.

"i'm not drunk, you're drunk!" you hiccup. he almost laughs before he sees you grip your stomach and gag. he thinks it's the alcohol, but in reality, you feel the loneliness beomgyu felt dissipating and you can only imagine what he's doing to cope. fuck, you didn't want to feel this.

"c'mon, girl. don't throw up here. let's go to the bathroom." he leads you up the stairs into some shitty bathroom that doesn't even have toilet paper. you kneel in front of the toilet and let yourself go, tears marring your carefully crafted makeup.

yeonjun gently grabs your loose hair and twists it into a makeshift ponytail. when he sweeps the last few strands from behind your ears, he sees it. all pretty and pink, ornate but unassuming. the seal you share with beomgyu.

"oh fuck," he says simply. you're drunk, too drunk, but even you know what he means.

"don't... don't look at it," you hiccup as a fresh wave of tears stream down your cheeks. "i want it gone," you whine, futilely scraping at it with your fingernails. in your head, you know it won't do anything. seals are permanent and even a tattoo couldn't cover it — it'd just resurface. in your aching heart, though, the thought of having beomgyu's matching seal makes you sick and you're willing to do almost anything to get it off of you.

"what the fuck is going on here?" a voice you'd recognize from anywhere emerges from the bathroom doorway. soobin. "what happened to you?!"

he's kneeling down to your level and wiping the mascara from under your eyes. yeonjun is still holding your hair back, so it's only a matter of time before the seal catches soobin's eye. it takes him a second to place where exactly he's seen it before, but once he does he murmurs a simple "oh shit."

you'd laugh at the similar reactions from the two boys if you felt anything other than misery at the moment. soobin grabs a rag from god knows where and wets it to tenderly brush around your lips. yeonjun tactfully lets go of your hair and escapes from the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. you sit in silence.

"you know, this is a really bad time," he begins awkwardly, "but i want to remind you that the seal stuff doesn't matter to me. i know it matters to you right now, and that's okay, but it doesn't have to be that way forever." it takes you a minute to really process what he's saying and understand the implication behind his words. once you finally do, you're shocked to say the very least.

"do you still like me when i'm like this?" you say, mouth agape, tongue still heavy from the vomit.

"i do," he replies simply.

"really?"

"really, really."

beomgyu knew you felt his pain as soon as you said it, but he didn't know to what extent until he hears you sobbing in the bathroom. the walls are paper thin and you're not exactly quiet, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't straining his ears to ensure he's catching every word. and catch every word he does — even the ones you exchange with soobin — the ones that pierce his heart, and yours, apparently, because you wail when you feel it.

being with soobin is simultaneously the hardest and the easiest thing you've ever done. he starts off slowly, as if he's afraid to break you even more than you're already broken. he's patient with you even when you're sad about a certain somebody, and never makes you feel guilty for it.

when you're bawling your eyes out one night and cancel your plans with him, you're surprised to hear a knock on your apartment door, anyway. you look through the peephole and see a familiar figure with a smile on his face. you hurriedly wipe the mascara from under your eyes and pull your hood up to cover your fucked up hair.

"what are you doing here?" you ask once you open the door.

"i was just in the neighborhood and thought you might want some ice cream," he says simply.

you snort. the "neighborhood" in question is a good 20 minutes from his apartment, but you don't ask any questions for fear that he might actually leave.

and so you sit on the living room floor with a movie playing in the background as white noise. you forgo the formalities and both of you are digging into a, frankly, alarmingly large tub of ice cream with nothing but two spoons. he pokes your reddened nose when you eventually start to drift off into space and remember your soulmate doesn't want you. he doesn't ask any questions, either. just boops your nose and you're back to reality and giggling at his childishness.

being with soobin is so easy, so comforting, that when he eventually asks you to be his girlfriend, you say yes.

on graduation day, beomgyu feels an excitement he sincerely did not anticipate. sure, he was happy to graduate, but he had no idea he'd be fucking elated. he has no clue why he's so ridiculously excited when he's honestly not even sure what he'll do after college, but when your name is called to collect your diploma and his heart is racing so fast he feels like it might explode, beomgyu comes to a damning realization: it's not his happiness he's feeling... it's yours.

the revelation is fully enforced when he sees you leaving the stage and hugging soobin. he feels your heart skipping a beat when he watches your fingers lacing with the other man's. he can't quite understand it, but the contentment you feel juxtaposes the sadness brewing inside of him. the sense that something is missing feels more palpable than ever. you walk off with soobin, swinging your interlocked hands while he gently brushes his thumb against your fingers. you don't look beomgyu's way even once, and his eyes start to burn when he realizes that image will forever be seared into his head. he has nobody to blame but himself.

beomgyu can feel your joy now and it makes him sick. he feels the butterflies in your stomach as you slow dance with soobin. feels your first kiss and the thrums of electricity permeating from your lips to your toes. he even feels your excitement before soobin makes love to you for the first time and the pure bliss that comes after. he feels it all and it's enough to make his stomach churn. he wonders if you can still feel his pain, and on some level, he hopes you do. maybe he's selfish, but it would serve as another reminder that he's bound to you and you to him. it doesn't feel like you can, though. how could you be so happy if you felt even a fraction of the weight on his chest? he's drowning every day and you're out playing first comes love then comes marriage with soobin. he's currently looking at your instagram from a burner account (you blocked him on his main) and he's trying to keep his pain tucked carefully behind his ribs, where his heart is, but it's constantly threatening to overcome him. you look different — not bad — just different. you're glowing now, it seems, and your hair is always down. he has a guess as to why that might be, and it pains him to think about it. this must be the yearning everyone, including you, had felt. he supposes he should be happy that you're happy, but he's never claimed to be a good person, and the sight of a picture of you planting a kiss on soobin's cheek is enough to twist the knife in his chest.

notes pt. 2: hi :,) i hope you all liked this one. if not, i'm sorry :,) my pacing is sooo bad but i'm working on it i swear ( ཀ͝ ∧ ཀ͝ ) feedback is always appreciated!! and yes, there will be a part 2.

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skullsuited · 8 months

Text

hawaiian party.

inspired by this song.

gif credit.

an fbh!era/college!au imagine full of angst, humor, smoking weed, hiding in a bathroom at a party & grief.

content warning: marijuana usage, mentions of disordered eating, feelings of loneliness & dealing with a parent’s death.

This was the first time you'd been out since your mother's death. Unwillingly so, and yet, here you were, hiding in your best friend's bathroom at a college party. How depressing of you.

Nadia, your best friend and Alpha Theta's starry-eyed sorority member, had practically pleaded on the phone with you to come out and 'let loose', because 'your mom wouldn't want you to rot in your dorm room, eating M&M's and watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy'.

You hated that she had a point. You hated that this was what your life had come to.

Nadia had also mentioned that a few of your other friends would be attending the party and they had, apparently, mentioned how much they 'missed you' and 'wanted to see you'.

How could you say no to them? If you turned them down, you would be stuck in the same bottomless pit of loneliness, grief and M&M's.

For Nadia, for your friends and for your mother's memory, you had decided to attend the party at her sorority. Many of the people there, you didn't know or really bothered to speak to. As you arrived, you noticed a few of your friends lingering around. Niall was talking to Michael and Luke, Liam and Calum were playing spin the bottle with a few strangers, Nadia was nowhere to be seen and Harry was up against a wall, a joint in between his fingers.

He had been the first one to make eye contact with you, to notice your presence. A smile pulled at his lips and before you knew it, he was chasing you upstairs to the bathroom, racing after you as you tried to ditch the scene.

Which is where you are now: in the bathroom, sitting against the tub with Harry sat next to you.

"You've been away." He breaks through the silence between you, taking a drag from the joint he'd been puffing at.

"Yeah." You reply quietly, eyes cast downward, tracing over the tile.

"How, um... how have you been..." He trails off, trying to find the right words.

"Coping?"

Harry looks at you now, emerald eyes overcome with worry and concern for your wellbeing.

"Not very well. I haven't really... haven't really eaten properly. I mean, you know my relationship with food is..."

"A rollercoaster. Been that way for a very long time. I know."

You sigh, unsure of what to say. Of course, Harry knew. Other than Nadia, he was your closest friend. You'd met in high school and were inseparable ever since. Your fingers twitch towards the joint he's holding, and he hands it to you, watching you take a drag from it.

"Your mum was a good person, Y/N. I know she fucked up a lot of things, but one thing she was truthful about was how much she loved you."

"Y'know, what the really fucked up part of that is?"

"What?"

"I don't believe she truly loved me. I mean, after everything she put me through, how can you call that love?"

"Everyone has their own version of love, Y/N. Whether we understand it or not, is completely up to us."

A half-hearted smile tugs at the right corner of your lips. Harry's very emotionally intelligent and opening up to him, even if it's surface level, is helpful.

As you hand him the joint, a question brews in your mind, "What do you think? About love, I mean."

Harry chuckles, taking the joint from you. "I'd like to think that love is a word for a feeling no one can truly describe. I don't believe it's conditional or should be tied down to a person, place or thing. Love, like any other feeling, should be felt freely. Love is part of the human experience."

"Okay, Professor." You grin, "Maybe you should be studying psychology, become a therapist."

"Mm," He hums, "What have you been up to? Besides hibernating."

"I'm watching Grey's Anatomy again."

"Again? Christ, this is the third time!"

"I'm almost done with Season 11, believe it or not."

"Jesus. Do you not get bored of looking at Jesse Williams?"

"Never."

"Is that all you've been doing?"

"What, is wasting away in my bed, anticipating the next time Dr. Jackson Avery is on my screen, not a healthy way to cope with the fact that my mother's dead?"

"You're passively grieving, Y/N. Hell, I don't even think you've allowed yourself to fully process."

"These things take time, H. I can't just piece myself back together."

"S' not what I'm getting at, love. I think you're pushing your grief to the side."

"Harry..."

"If you need a reminder that you can come to someone, that you're allowed to shoulder the burden with someone else, I'm happy to give you one. You can't go through this alone, no matter how hard you try."

"You know just what to say, don't you?"

"Maybe I should become a therapist. M' quite good at it."

"Well, in that case, should I open up now or let you get your PhD first?"

"Don't bother. Dr. Styles is in."

"In all seriousness? Thank you, H... for letting me just... be."

"Don't have to thank me, love. M' always here. Now, why don't we get out of here, smoke a bowl in my car and get you a cheeseburger?"

"Sounds good to me, Styles."

Harry stands, the joint he'd been holding in between his fingers had burnt out. He tosses it in the trash bin near the toilet, before holding his hand out for you to take. You smile up at him, taking ahold of it.

Exiting the bathroom, you both weave through the party and head out into the night.

If there's anything your mom would have wanted for you, it was to have someone like Harry. Harry was supportive, thoughtful. He knew you better than you knew yourself and, at times, you were grateful for that.

With death, comes life. With life, comes love.

Perhaps, Harry would open your eyes to that.

You had hope that he would. That he will.

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teenytinykittenbeans · 1 year

Text

Well now...

Here I am on this site again. It's been a few years since I deleted my last account. It's been 15 years since I first joined tumblr. It was my second social media account (after myspace). I still remember learning about tumblr through one of my bestfriends, and then it just spread like wildfire during high school. It was back when WeHeartIt was the equivalent of Pinterest. We'd sift through so many photos to pick out the ones we liked, download them, then upload them to our tumblr "blog" (with absolutely no credit ICK). Back then, tumblr was fun. But also so toxic. The anon messaging feature was honestly a terrible idea for anyone under 18yo. There was so much nasty bullying. It gave people the ability to be really two-faced... But, it also connected us in a way myspace didn't. The openness of tumblr made you feel connected to others. Apart from seeing pictures of them, you saw photos of things they liked, pieces of poetry and quotes that symbolized what they were going through, you saw their interactions with others, you got to find out what kind of music they liked, you got to know other's sense of humor, etc. Idk. It was such an interesting environment, apart from the abusive anons.

And yeah, with my gen getting older, I think we stopped sitting on tumblr and started to go out and experience more things irl. We got jobs, we found new hobbies, some of us just needed change, some of us had kids, etc... The site just stopped feeling as special as it once did. A lot of kids I grew up on tumblr with drifted off... some of us deleted our accounts, and a few stayed...

I think I'm partially back here for the nostalgia. I don't know how long I'll stay. Instagram focuses too much on overall presentation and narrow branding. Tiktok is about playing a character and getting famous. Facebook is full of ads and dull. Snapchat hasn't been enjoyable for me in years. Pinterest is nice for inspiration, but it's system of sharing data based on an algorithm feels messy... And I think that's ultimately it. I miss caring about the people I'm seeing stuff posted by. I miss caring about genuine existences, online.

----

My life is so different now from what it was at 15yo. But some things remain the same...

I feel like I'm going through it again, in a similar way to what I experienced at 18. I've lost confidence in myself. I still have such a hard time believing long term goals can become reality, for myself. I'm scared I'm not capable of giving anything good back to anyone. I'm so emotionally unavailable, but really in need of therapy and mending. I'm completely disconnected from my families. I struggle with feeling like I'll ever live up to any standard, no matter how hard I try. I struggle with finding self worth outside of how others view me and treat me.

(Yeah, if you're a youngin' and you've got some kind of financial means of tackling your depression: please deal with it, asap. It comes and goes, but it never permanently goes away. You just learn how to live through it. I wish I had insisted I go to therapy, when I was in my teens, but I never knew I could insist on that from my parents. Mental health is a journey, and it's better to start it as early as possible.)

----

Another big change for me, from 15 to 30, is how many people aren't in my life anymore. People move away. People change friend groups after high school. People grow apart. People have kids... If you don't teach yourself small talk or how to connect with new people, you could end up feeling pretty alone.

People also die, way too early. People die that you once didn't get along with, and you cry because it's still heartbreaking to hear. People die that you once laughed with and loved like a sibling. People die that you once had the biggest crush on. People die that you once were just casually friends with...

It makes me realize, more and more each time, that life just happens. You can plan on things. You can schedule events. You can build the life you want. You can just go with the flow. But ultimately, we're not completely in control of our lives, no matter what we do.

It's always devastating finding out someone else has passed away too early. It always feels unreal and unfair.

March 5-6th, 2023

#notes

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freakwiththeknifecollection · 2 years

Text

Growing up with adhd/autism is constantly fluctuating between being too much and not enough for people like. Okay people have told me I'm annoying when I talk too much. But how much is too much? Because my normal is "too much" apparently. I'm just not going to talk at all and let them set the pace. Okay now everyone's saying "you're so quiet". Now I'm the weird quiet one who never talks. Fuck. But now how do I strike up a conversation? It's been too long without talking to them to get to know each other. I'm just going to wait for them to talk to me and then I can ask questions from there. Yay! They're asking me about myself! Wait. I said something wrong and they're not talking to me anymore. Fuck. *new person comes along* Okay. Don't talk too much and also don't talk too little and don't reveal too much about yourself because they'll think you're weird and stop talking to you and also-

#em rambles #autism #asd #adhd #neurodivergent masking #''you were homeschooled? how did you make friends?'' i didn't lmao. i didn't make friends in school either #''Well don't you feel like you've missed out on [high school] experiences?'' yeah. I'm also certain I wouldn't have been included if I was #there tbfh #this is ok to rb btw #no I don't relate to Jo Harvelle because she was a freak in school ahaha why would you think that

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clara-licht · 3 years

Text

You Belong With Me

Part of Best of Me Series

Summary: 5 times (Y/n) Stark felt jealous and 1 time it was Peter’s turn. (set before Just Out of Touch, can be read as a standalone)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Warning: mention of blood and maggots

Note: after a whole year, it’s finally here! Here’s another story set in the world of Just Out of Touch! This story can be read as a standalone, but reading JOOT might give you a bit more context. But if you haven’t read it, spoiler for JOOT, Hecate is (y/n)’s vigilante persona. (Y/n)’s pronouns are she/they, where they is specifically used when they’re out as Hecate. Since this story focuses on (y/n) and not Hecate, I used she/her throughout the story. In future stories both she and they will be used when there are both (y/n) and Hecate. Without further ado, enjoy the story!

Title Inspo: Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me

Best of Me Masterlist | Marvel Masterlist | Main Masterlist

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1: Compliment

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(Y/n) side-glanced at Peter who was pacing back and forth in her room. She let him mumble and curse at himself while she laid on her bed, bored.

"Oh I'm so stupid! How could I have done that?! Ugh, she must hate me now!"

She rolled her eyes. "You're not stupid, Pete. You're in STEM school by scholarship for a reason, you know."

Peter stopped his pacing to look at (y/n) with his big doe eyes and panicked expression. "That's got nothing to do with this!" He exclaimed.

Rolling her eyes again, she asked, "What did you do again?"

He groaned and banged his head on her bed, mumbling something.

"What?"

"I complimented her skirt."

If she had to roll her eyes again, her eyeballs would probably be stuck that way.

"What's so bad about that?" She asked.

Peter didn't even lift his head from the soft duvet. "I sounded like a pervert, (y/n)!" He groaned. "She totally knew I've been checking her out the entire year!"

(Y/n) shook her head exasperatedly. "You couldn't have known that. You just complimented one piece of clothing, Peter. She wouldn't know you've been staring at her clothes every day."

Peter only let out another groan and turned over, pulling the duvet to cover his face. "No, she definitely knows!"

"What did you say, exactly?"

"I said the color suits her and asked if it's new…"

"…So?"

He removed the duvet and stared incredulously at her. "What do you mean, so?"

(Y/n) shrugged. "I don't see what's so bad about that. I mean, it's flattering?"

"Oh, you don't get it!" Peter threw his head back. "I asked if it's new! Meaning that I already know her clothes and noticed that I've never seen that skirt before!"

"Now that you said it like that, you do sound like a pervert."

"UGH!"

Chuckling, (y/n) lifted the duvet and removed it from Peter, eyes glowing soft blue. "Calm down, Spidey. What did she say?"

"I don't know. I ran away afterwards."

Her chuckle turned into a full-on laugh as Peter turned away with a pout, hoping to hide his flaming face.

In between her laugh, she shuffled closer to the boy and ran her fingers gently between his hair. "Well, if it was me, I wouldn't think much about it. I would just be flattered that you think a skirt looks good on me."

Still pouting, Peter mumbled, "But it's not you."

Her laughter ceased, replaced with a slightly sorrowful smile.

"But it's not me." She agreed.

——————————

2: Jokes

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"What's taking him so long?" Happy grumbled.

"It's only been 10 minutes."

"10 minutes too long!"

(Y/n) only hummed and looked out the window. “It’s high school, Happy. It’s where he socializes with his friends, of course it’s going to take time.”

“Not if I can help it.” He muttered.

Shaking her head fondly, her eyes swept through the entrance of Midtown High, trying to see if the young vigilante was anywhere near them. Today was a scheduled lab day and she volunteered to pick him up with Happy. Since she already finished any lessons she had for the day Tony had let her go.

As she kept watch, she couldn’t help but feel a little bittersweet. Sure, she enjoyed her studies online, but she knew that she was missing that typical high school experience. Going to classes, eating lunch in the cafeteria, walking home with friends… But she was also aware that it was all for her safety.

The woes of having a famous father.

(Y/n) was shaken off her thoughts when she finally noticed Ned among the students in front of the school. If Ned was there, then Peter was surely not far.

Sure enough, she could spot a familiar tuft of brown hair right behind Ned.

And apparently he wasn’t alone.

Peter was talking with a girl facing his way. (Y/n) couldn’t see her face but she had a good idea of who she was.

Peter had a shy smile on his lips and his cheeks were nearly blossoming, if (y/n) could say so. In true Peter fashion, he seemed to be stumbling upon his words and spoke a mile per minute. The girl seems as though she didn’t mind as she was laughing along. And yet, unlike the oblivious Peter she was used to, this Peter looked at the girl as if she was a goddess sent to the earth to absolve every sinner from their fated doom. This Peter smiled at her as if she handpicked each star to light up the darkest night.

His darkest night.

(Y/n) unconsciously took a sharp breath when she saw the girl laughing so hard she had to hold onto Peter to stabilize herself. The way she clutched Peter’s arm and the color on Peter’s cheeks…

“There he is! Call him, tell him to hurry up.”

“Just… Just give him a minute, will you, Happy?” She mumbled, eyes never leaving Peter. She was unaware of Happy glancing at her with a frown on his forehead. Like her, he did notice that Peter had a girl with him. He just hadn’t yet connected it to why (y/n) looked off.

As (y/n) sat there looking at the window, the tight feeling in her chest kept getting more painful as time went. On one hand, she would love to get out of the car and go to him, replacing the girl’s position beside Peter. But on the other hand, she knew that things didn’t work that way.

‘He’s happy, that’s all that matters, right?’

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice Peter already saying his goodbyes and approaching the car. It was only when Peter sat beside her that she was shaken off her trails.

“Hey, you good?” He asked.

(Y/n) smiled, a hint of sorrow that Peter didn’t notice on her lips.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

——————————

3: Flirt

——————————

The silence was quite awkward, if (y/n) must say.

Tony was out on a conference of some sort in Japan, and as much as (y/n) would love to visit the country, her father couldn’t literally pay her to sit through that conference with him. While she would inherit the company one day, she’d avoid any stuffy meetings if she could.

That day was another scheduled lab day for Peter, though. Tony had forgotten to tell him to reschedule, so he still went to the tower. Peter was going to leave until (y/n) called Tony and he told Peter to just mess around in the lab.

And there they were. In Tony Stark’s personal lab. Just the two of them (along with Dum-E).

(Y/n) could tell something was off with Peter. The first sign was when he said he would go home when he heard Tony wasn’t there. Usually he’d just stay and watch a movie with her. And now he was all quiet while fiddling with his webshooters.

Of course, one could say that perhaps he was focused on fixing or upgrading it, but (y/n) knew that there was nothing wrong with his webshooters and they already installed the upgrade a couple weeks ago. They hadn’t come up with new ideas since then.

“Hey, Pete?”

“Hm?” He didn’t even look up.

“Is there anything in your mind?”

“Huh? No, nothing.” Peter mumbled, still fiddling with his webshooters.

(Y/n) frowned. Something was not right, indeed.

A few minutes passed with silence between them. (Y/n) kept sneaking glances at Peter and Peter kept toying around with the shooters on his wrist. He wasn’t even doing anything. His eyes were unfocused and he was deep in thoughts.

Heaving a sigh, (y/n) removed the goggles she had on. She was doing a project for SI, but it could wait.

“Okay, let’s talk about this,” she said.

Peter finally looked up and stared at her, confused. “Talk about what?”

“Well, this,” she said again, gesturing at Peter.

“...you’re gesturing at all of me.”

“Of course I’m gesturing at all of you! You’re acting weird!”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are! You’re so quiet and you kept playing with your webshooters! Is there something wrong with them or what? You look like you’re thinking so hard and we both know you’re smart enough to not have to think that hard about your shooters!”

Peter didn’t say anything for a while as he stared at (y/n), eyes slightly furrowed.

“Well?” (Y/n) prompted. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Peter sighed and bit his lip. He looked up, as if pondering whether or not he should tell (y/n) about what was on his mind.

“It’s, uh, it’s about Liz.”

(Y/n) heart dropped.

“W-What about her?” She asked, feigning ignorance.

The frown made another appearance on Peter’s forehead. His fingers returned to the webshooter strapped on his wrist and started fiddling again. It was then that (y/n) noticed that this was his way of fidgeting. He used to fiddle with his fingers and then it was with his shooters.

“Well, I saw her today…”

“...and?”

“She, um…” Peter swallowed. “She was, uh, flirting, I think? With Flash.”

By some miracle, instead of feeling that tightness in her chest from the mention of her, she felt truly confused. “Flash? The same Flash that picks on you and doesn't believe in your internship?”

“Uh, yeah…?”

“Why would she? Doesn’t she know what kind of person he is?”

Peter laughed dryly. “He’s rich, (y/n).”

“And so am I, what about it?” (Y/n) raised an eyebrow. “I’m not as obnoxious as that guy, am I?”

“Of course not. You may be getting a big head, though.” He teased with a grin.

(Y/n) only swatted at his arm.

(It took every single will in her not to make a dirty joke then and there, telling herself it wasn’t appropriate for the topic.)

“Anyway! Why did you think she was flirting with him?” (Y/n) asked, ignoring the tight feeling that finally arrived despite the miracle earlier.

“Remember last week? When you picked me up with Happy?”

(Y/n) nodded. ‘How could I not?’ She thought bitterly.

“I don’t know if you saw, but uhh we were flirting, I think?”

“You think?”

“Well, Ned said we were…” Peter mumbled. “We were joking around and she kinda laughed so hard she had to hold onto me…” He recounted, a blush starting to make its way on his cheeks.

(Y/n) took a deep breath to try and calm her erratic heart. Her heart felt like it was sinking with each word coming out of Peter’s mouth. Had she not been a strong-willed young woman with experience in keeping her face neutral, she was 100% sure her eyes would be all watery by now. Not that she didn’t feel the burn on her eyes as she pretended not to hear Peter whispering ‘her hand was so soft’.

“And was she doing the same with Flash?” She asked, and again, by miracle, her voice didn’t crack.

Peter’s hand fell from his wrist and he nodded dejectedly.

“I thought she liked me, you know?” He muttered. Unlike her, Peter was an open book. He was never good at hiding his expression that it was a wonder that his secret identity was still intact. (Y/n) could clearly hear the pain in his voice.

It honestly infuriated her how easy it was for him to affect her.

(Y/n) cleared her throat. “Don’t take it to heart, Pete. Maybe she was just being friendly with him.”

“Or maybe she was just being friendly with me.” Peter mumbled, still dejected.

It filled her heart with grief that he could make such a pained expression in front of her. Had it been her, she could say with certainty that she would never let this boy in front of her go without a smile. But then again, who was she to do that? It wasn’t her that he wanted to put that smile on him.

And so, with a heavy heart and a smile hiding sorrow behind it, she told him, “Why don’t you ask her to do something with you? Like a date?”

——————————

4: Date

——————————

“(Y/n)? Where’s Peter?” Pepper immediately asked when she saw (y/n) lounging alone on the couch.

(Y/n) shrugged half-heartedly, shoving a spoonful of her favorite cookies and cream ice cream to her mouth. An older season of CSI: Miami was playing on the screen in front of her. She kept eating her ice cream unbothered as the screen showed a bloody corpse full of maggots. Oh, apparently it wasn’t a corpse and she was still alive. Who would’ve thought?

“Don’t you guys usually spend Sundays together?” Pepper asked again.

(Y/n) mumbled something that Pepper couldn’t hear.

“Sorry, what?”

“He has a date.”

Pepper blinked once. “A date?”

(Y/n) nodded.

“With… who?”

“...a girl from his school. An upperclassman.”

“Huh… Is that so?” Pepper hummed, taking a seat beside the young Stark.

She glanced at the angsty teen, still enjoying her ice cream accompanied by a pool of blood and maggot and David Caruso on the screen. “How are you feeling?”

“What do you mean? I’m totally fine.” (Y/n) answered through a mouthful of sugary dairy.

“I don’t think so, honey.” Pepper smiled at her, taking the tub away.

(Y/n) didn’t bother to answer, stubbornly keeping her eyes on the screen.

“I always thought both of you would end up together. What happened?” Pepper tried to ask.

“Us ending up together, huh?” (Y/n) chuckled dryly. “Not a chance, Pep.”

“Why do you say that?”

(Y/n) turned to the CEO of the company that one day would be hers. “Have you looked at Peter? Really looked at him?” She asked. “Because if you have, then you’d know that his eyes were never on me. Not once.”

Sighing, she reached to take back the tub of ice cream from Pepper. “A friend is all I am to him.” She muttered.

(Y/n) was perfectly fine with returning to her angsty mood accompanied by ice cream and crime lab, but apparently Pepper was not.

Pepper stood up and asked FRIDAY to turn the screen off.

“Aw, Pep! Why did you do that!” (Y/n) whined, not unlike a child getting her toy taken away.

“No wallowing in self pity, young lady. Now up you go! We’re going out.”

She groaned and plopped her face on the couch.

To say she would regret going out would be an understatement.

Because an hour on her outing with Pepper, she actually saw Peter on his date.

He was wearing a shirt and grey sweater, like how he wore to school, though the collar was neat. He definitely combed and gelled his hair. She didn’t like it, to be honest. (Y/n) always loved his curls that would fall to his eyes when it got a bit too long. She loved the soft unruly strands that felt silky when she ran her fingers through them.

Peter and his date, Liz, were in a cafe together. It was a cute and aesthetically pleasing one too. (Y/n) was in the Italian restaurant right across the street. Pepper sat with her back to the glass window, so she couldn’t see them, but it was as clear as the sky for (y/n).

And (y/n) wanted to look away, she really did. Yet for some reason, she just couldn’t stop staring at the happy couple. She watched as Liz reached a hand out to wipe something off the corner of Peter’s lips. She watched as Peter laughed shyly. She watched as he hesitantly tried to hold Liz’s hand on the table. She watched as Liz grinned and took his hand in hers.

She watched as they smiled at each other like they were the only people in the world and she was nothing but a speck of dust.

She watched, with bitter heart and a sorrowful smile as she told herself, as long as he’s happy, right?

——————————

5: Broken Heart

——————————

How could this have happened?

They were having such a great time together!

So why...?

“Peter, I’m so sorry…”

“It’s not your fault, why are you sorry?”

“I was the one who pushed you to ask her on a date…”

Peter chuckled. He tried to look unbothered, but he was still so easy to read. (Y/n) could basically hear the pieces of his broken heart rattling around as he moved.

It hurt her more than seeing him with her.

“Well, you couldn’t have known everything, (y/n),” Peter said. “Besides, at least I tried, you know?”

(Y/n) bit her lip.

Logically, she should be happy, shouldn’t she? Liz had told Peter that she wanted to remain friends, that she couldn’t be with him. That meant Peter was free for the whole world. Whether or not she had a chance was something else entirely. And yet, she felt extremely guilty.

“I’m okay, really!” Peter grinned with a fake cheerfulness. “I had a great time and I appreciate her telling me the truth instead of leading me on. I’m sure we’ll remain great friends even after this.”

‘But you were never great friends with her…’

“I guess she’s just trying to focus on her studies, you know? Since she’s a senior and all.”

‘But she did lead you on…’

“And you know what they say, there are plenty more fish in the sea!”

‘But you were so fixated on her…’

Peter’s eyes softened when he realized how quiet (y/n) was. “I’m really alright, (y/n). It’s not your fault at all.”

“Besides,” he grinned, this time genuine, “Maybe now it’s my turn to help you find someone! Your help was greatly appreciated and now I can return the favor!”

(Y/n) refrained from smiling sardonically at the irony. The only way he could help her find someone was if he magically fell in love with her, but she knew better than to be wishful like that.

“Thank you, Pete, but that won’t be necessary.”

“Whaaaaat why? I can give great love advice!”

“Yeah? Like what?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Uhh…”

“Exactly.”

“Anyway! When you find someone, tell me, okay? I’ll try my best to help you, since you were so helpful to me.”

Helpful, huh?

Why can’t you see it?

How badly I want to say those words?

Instead, (Y/n) smiled, sorrow seeping into her being. “It was my pleasure.”

——————————

+1: Reverse

——————————

arachnophobia: wanna go out tonight? hecate hasnt been out for a while

ironlady: cant today

ironlady: harley’s coming

arachnophobia: harley? the one whose garage mr stark broke into?

ironlady: yep!! cant wait to see him

ironady: its been a while

arachnophobia: can i meet him?

ironlady: ofc just come here

The moment Peter stepped out from the elevator, he could hear the laughter already. He didn’t need his enhanced hearing to know that (y/n) was positively joyful.

He followed the sound to the penthouse’s living room where he could see (y/n) sitting on the couch. Beside her was a young man his age with sandy blonde hair. Both of them were talking animatedly with each other.

“Hey.”

“Oh, Peter!” (Y/n) turned around, a big grin on her face. “This is Harley Keener, the potato boy dad and I told you about!”

“Potato boy?” Harley frowned.

“It’s either that or problem child 1, which one do you prefer?”

“Tony’s been calling me that?”

“Yep!”

“And what are you?”

“Problem child 2, duh.” (Y/n) rolled her eyes.

Harley scoffed. “Yeah, right, il mio tarassaco.”

“Hey! Only dad can call me that!”

“I know, I know, don’t get your panties in a twist, Princess Stark.” Harley laughed as he ruffled (y/n)’s hair, much to her chagrin.

Peter couldn’t get one word out. He watched as (y/n) tried to get back at Harley and mess with his hair as Harley dodged her. He watched as (y/n)’s face was overtaken by a huge grin and her eyes lighted up in joy.

“Harley stop it!”

“You started it!”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did!”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did!”

“No I- you know what, I’m not doing this. You haven’t even greeted Peter!” (Y/n) huffed, gesturing at Peter who was still standing still behind the sofa.

“Oh, yeah, my bad,” Harley said. He stood up and dusted his pants, then reached out a hand.

“Harley Keener, at your service,” he grinned.

Peter took his hand hesitantly. “Peter Parker. Nice to meet you.”

(Y/n) beamed at the two of them. “I’ve told him so much about you. I think you guys will be great friends!” She told Peter. “Dad is talking about making Harley his intern too, so you two will be Stark Industries first and only high school interns. Tony Stark’s personal interns, to be exact.”

“Wait, intern?” Peter asked, clearly taken aback. “But don’t you live in Tennessee?”

Harley shrugged. “I’m moving here around next month. Not a lot of opportunities back home, so Tony offered to house and send me to school here. I’m here today to look around before the big day.”

“It’s a shame I can’t go to school with you, though.” (Y/n) complained. “I’m getting bored of this whole homeschooling thing.”

“What can I say, Princess Stark,” Harley said with a teasing smile, “a Princess must remain at her castle.”

“Yeah, well, this Princess can take care of herself and goes out at night alone, what about it?” She rolled her eyes.

“Alright, alright, you got a point, Hecate.”

“I told you, I’m not Hecate right now!”

“He knows about Hecate?” Peter asked.

(Y/n) nodded. “He was the first one to know, even before dad. I told you of how Harley’s been coming here for years, right? He basically knows more about me than dad at this point.”

“That, I do.” Harley said, staring at Peter a little too long. Something dawned on him when he saw something on Peter’s face.

He turned to (y/n) and slung an arm around her shoulders. “Anyway, I gotta run and find Tony now, got things to ask him. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, you know where to find me.”

“Great! See ya later, Princess Stark.” Harley dropped a big kiss on her head and left the room, but not before giving Peter a meaningful look.

Peter was frozen on his spot.

In all his time knowing (y/n), not once did he ever see (y/n) that happy. She looked so carefree, as if she trusted Harley blindly and trusted him to keep her that way. It took him some time to get (y/n) to open up to him. He knew that he couldn’t compare himself to Harley who knew (y/n) longer than him, but for some reason it ticked him off.

But why?

And when Harley held (y/n) close to him like that? It felt wrong to Peter. Then he went and actually kissed her! Well, on the head, but still. Something felt off within Peter and he didn’t really know what or why.

Somehow, it was almost like…

Like it should’ve been him?

“Peter, are you okay?”

Peter was startled from his thoughts when (y/n)’s face suddenly entered his peripherals.

“I’m fine, why do you ask?” He quickly said.

(Y/n) hummed. “You look a bit off, that’s all.”

“It’s nothing, I promise.”

“If you say so…”

“So, uh,” Peter started, “that Harley… How long is he staying?”

“A week, I think. He’ll move in next month, on the 15th.” (Y/n) answered. “I can’t wait for next month, honestly. I missed him so much. Him living with me and dad here would be a blast.”

“When do you want to go out?” Peter asked, changing the subject immediately. Somehow, for some reason, he didn’t want to hear (y/n) talk about Harley anymore. Especially not about how he would be living with her.

“Ah, well… Not this week? Maybe after Harley’s back to Tennessee?”

“...oh.”

“You can still go out without me though! I know Spider-Man must be anxious to get out there!”

“...yeah, you’re right. Uh, you know what, I actually forgot I had to run an errand for May, so I’m going to leave now, okay?”

Peter quickly rushed out. The penthouse was getting stuffy for no reason and he couldn’t stand being there anymore.

What is wrong with me?

——————————

Taglist + Mutuals (let me know if you want me to untag you!)

@spn-assemble-seven @racewife2004 @lukesbabylon @serendipitous-amor @sovereign-parker @ifangirlninja @lyzalovealk @lookuptotheskiesandsee @tommysparker @starlight-starks @marvelexi @lou-la-lou @spiderbibby @hello--zuko-here @everydaymj @galaxystern08 @allegra-writes @spideyspeaches @delicatepeterparker @parkerpeter24 @terrifictomholland @quackeroos @angel-spidey @greenorangevioletgrass @awkward-darkness @chloecreatesfictions @tonguetiedholland @peterbenjiparker @and-it-burns-like-a-fire @sinisterspidey @bi-lmg

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #spiderman #spiderman x reader #spiderman fluff #spiderman angst #mcu #marvel

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extraintrovertedalien · 3 years

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Brave face, talk so lightly(hide the truth)

'All my life, I've just wanted to make things easier for them.'

Au August

Day/Prompt: Day 26 - Soulmate

Ship: Prinxiety, brief logicality, creativitwins

Word count: 3k (I'm so sorry I got carried away)

Cw: swearing / brief murder mention / implied death / crying / nightmares(?) / anxiety mention / caps / claustrophobia(?)

A/N: the prompt is your dreams are your soulmate's memories. The title is from the song "Sick of losing soulmates" by dodie. I wrote the first 1/4 of this a few days ago and the rest in one sitting and I couldn't care less about proofreading it so Im so sorry if there are any mistakes ;-;

@tsshipmonth2020

I see a girl in the distance. She has her back turned. Long chocolate-colored hair tied in a low messy bun. My hand is reaching out to her. I feel this sudden longing to be held by this woman. Craving her caring and loving words. Telling me that everything is going to be alright.

Wait. Why is she getting farther away?

She looks back at me with a sad smile. Everything gets dark. I let my eyes stray from her to look around. When was I in a hospital corridor?

"I'm sorry, Pumpkin. You're gonna have to continue our adventure without me. But, fear not, Little one. I'll always be there by you. You just gotta learn to know where I am,"

She caresses my cheek, giving me the warmest smile I have ever received.

She's gone, suddenly. I touch my cheek, still feeling the ghost of her warm touch. Along with… something wet? Am- Am I crying?

"Roman!"

I don't move. I feel stuck. But, also free, somehow. Just unsure of what to do, I guess?

"Roman! Wake up. You idiot!

"Roman!

"Oh, thank all things unholy! I thought someone was in our room, trying to murder us! You were crying, and- and whispering stuff! And it's creeping me the fuck out! And I'm not easily creeped out, you know that" Remus exclaimed as he sat on Roman's chest, grabbing his twin’s shoulders.

"Man, you're soulmate must have some twisted memories," He continued, getting off of Roman and returning to his own bed across the room.

'Yeah. Twisted…' Roman thought.

~*~*~

"You okay there, Sweetie?" Roman heard from where his head was buried on the kitchen counter. "Yeah... Just thinking about my soulmate again," he admitted.

"Another bad dream?" His mom inquired as she sat next to Roman, patting his back. "It's not just that. It's about the move. Like, we're never really sure which of our memories they see, right? But, they've seen all my memories from this place. Like, they know where I've been my entire life…" he trailed off.

"I'm just not sure how they would feel seeing a whole new different place… They don't seem to be in a place to experience a big change right now. All my life, I've just wanted to make things easier for them. And, yeah, my dreams don't really change that much. But, I make an effort, y'know?" Roman looked up at his mom to seek at least some kind of reassurance.

"I understand what you mean, and I think that what you're doing is great. And I know that you're gonna be the bestest thing that's ever gonna happen to them. But, I'm really sorry. We don't really have any choice with this move. I know your soulmate is in a dark place right now, but you can't always do everything for them. You're also your own person," His mom hugged him.

Roman felt like he was hopeless in this situation. And, he was always hoping for the best. For his soulmate or otherwise. Maybe his mom was right about putting himself first sometimes.

~*~*~

Virgil was in his first period when someone he didn't expect to walk into his classroom… walks into his classroom… They were wearing an army green shirt, a denim jacket with neon green highlights and spikes at the bottom, ripped jeans, and platform boots with more spikes and vulgar words written on them. To say that this man was familiar was an understatement. He KNEW this man's entire life THROUGH his dreams.

Virgil felt like he was trespassing someone's life. Like, he wasn't supposed to know the man. And that, they shouldn't be in any way related. Especially to their sibling.

He wasn't really ecstatic about meeting his soulmate. IN SCHOOL NO LESS. It wasn't really an ideal 'meet-your-soulmate' place for someone like Virgil.

"Alright, students, I'm sure you've all noticed that we have a new student right here. Now, why don't you go and introduce yourself, Mister," their teacher said to the denim jacket guy.

"Umm. Sup? I'm Remus Duke Kingsley. Nice to meet you all. And, if you see a guy that looks like me but without the mustache and wears red all the time, he’s always loud, you can’t miss him. That's my twin brother, Roman. The boring one," Remus says, yawning by the end of his introduction.

'HOLY FUCK, TWINS?!' Virgil thought. Fortunately(or unfortunately, depending on which part of Virgil's brain you're asking), Remus already gave him a vague description of who to look out for.

~*~*~

Virgil continues his day and falls into his daily routine, which mostly includes attempting to avoid being perceived by anyone. It usually succeeds if you exclude his friend, Patton, from ‘anyone.’ He only hopes that his soulmate also sees Patton in their dreams cuz, to be honest, Patton is the ray of sunshine everyone needs. Yeah, he was also friends with Logan, but he’s more like a moon if you ask him.

Virgil goes into the cafeteria and sits at their usual table, his back facing the entire cafeteria. He takes out a paper bag from his bag and grabs the sandwich he bought earlier, not waiting for his friends.

A few moments pass before Logan and Patton reach his table. “Hey, kiddo! You alright?” Patton says as he sits down. Virgil just gives them a nod and continues to eat. “I heard this morning that there were new students,” Logan inquires before Patton interrupts “Oh yeah! They’re twins! I have first period with one of them. He’s really nice. Oh! Hey! Roman! Over here!” Patton shouts and waves his arm toward a student that just entered the cafeteria. “Hope you guys don’t mind that I invited him over to sit with us,” He continues and flashes both Virgil and Logan a smile no one could say no to.

“Hey, Patton.” The guy says to Patton. “Hope you guys don’t mind me crashing your table. I’m Roman by the way,” Roman says to the other two. “Pleasure to meet you, Roman. I’m Logan. And, no, we wouldn’t mind at all,” Logan answered him back. Roman looked over to Virgil who just nodded and said his name. Roman then proceeded to sit next to Virgil but not paying him any mind.

And, though Virgil seemed to be calm about the situation, his mind is currently in flames having his anxiety and his gay panic fight over each other. Virgil is currently waiting for who would win, that's why he seems so calm on the outside. After finishing his sandwich, he was trying to think of something he could do to keep himself from leaving and be noticed. He looked over to Logan, attentively listening to Patton talking about the dog he saw this morning. Roman was silently eating his lunch, also listening to Patton, but looking around the cafeteria every once in a while.

It seems that Virgil’s anxiety won the fight because he decided that he doesn’t want to stick around with his friends and his apparent soulmate without doing anything. So, he stands up and excuses himself from the group. "Hey! Wait!" Roman calls after him. Virgil stops a few feet from the table to look back at Roman who was already jogging towards him.

"Virgil, right?" He assures.

Virgil nods. "Ok, there’s just something I wanna ask you. Are those two soulmates?" Roman throws his thumb back, pointing at the two left at the table. "Cuz, as much as how adorable they look together, I kinda don't want to be stuck as a third wheel," he continues.

"Oh. Yeah, those two are soulmates. Sometimes, I wonder if they ever do notice me every time I leave the table," Virgil elaborates, looking back at his friends with a slight smile.

"Umm. Class doesn't start for a few more minutes. I was wondering if I could join you for a while? Wherever you were going…" Roman trailed off, realizing he didn't know where the shorter male was headed.

"Uhh. Yeah, sure. I was just headed to the courtyard to pass the time,"

'Shit. Virgil, why are you doing this?! Why did you agree?! You have anxiety!' Virgil mentally scolded himself.

"Ok. Cool. I'll just go get my stuff," Roman flashed Virgil a smile before heading back to the table.

'Fuck. I am so screwed,' Virgil thought.

~*~*~

"So, what's the deal with those two? I mean, how did they deal with the soulmates thing?" Roman finally spoke a few moments after they found a bench to settle on. "Uhh, well. Logan is my childhood friend and the first day we started high school here, they both had a dream of roll call the other had that day, I guess? They both heard each other's name and boom. You got your glasses gays," Virgil discussed, reminiscing the events that happened that day.

Roman let out a chuckle at Virgil's last words, causing the other's heart to skip a beat. They remain silent for a while, watching the other students passing by.

"What about you?" Roman spoke up.

"What about me?" Virgil glances back.

"I mean, what about you? Have you met your soulmate? Do you know who they are? You just seem like an interesting individual to me, having to stick around knowing you're third-wheeling all the time yet valuing your time with them and your time with yourself all the same. Well, either that or I'm just embarrassed that I think you're uncomfortable with me here…" Roman rambled, rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed.

Virgil chuckled, "Nah. I just get anxious when meeting new people. Plus, I think you're a pretty nice guy." They smiled at each other, Virgil feeling his face heat up, and looks away immediately. "And, about the soulmate thing. I think I have a clue of who they might be, I just…" he trailed off.

"What's holding you back?" Roman muttered, lowering his head, attempting to catch the other's eye. "I… I just think that my memories aren't that… for them. They're just this amazing and joyful person… I just don't think they deserve to see my bland memories every night,"

The pair fell silent, Roman feeling sympathy for the other. Virgil felt Roman shift in his seat before speaking up, "I don't think anyone's memories are ever bland."

Virgil looks up at Roman who has a far-off look with a slight smile on his lips. "I think that our dreams are what shows us what we're missing in life. What our soulmate has that we need and what we have that they need. You know, what makes you both feel complete when you're with each other," Roman smiled.

Virgil pondered on the other's statement for a while. "Is that... Is that how you feel when you're with your soulmate?" He said, being careful with his words. Roman sighed but remained smiling, "I haven't met them yet. But, what you said earlier reminded me of them. I always think they're a little different. My moms said that dreams are supposed to show my soulmate's memories. But, no one is ever sure which ones we see. Well, my dreams always have one thing in common… There's darkness every time…" Roman trailed off, looking more sad as he continued.

"Sometimes, they walk out of their house and, suddenly, everything goes dark and I see pairs of eyes staring at me as I walk. Or sometimes, they lie in bed and, suddenly, it's dark again and I'm stuck inside a box too small for me. But, there’s always this one dream that always repeats itself. Though, I'm not sure my soulmate's gonna be comfortable with me sharing," Roman finally snaps out of his trance and looks up at Virgil, looking embarrassed.

At this point, Virgil is now entirely sure that the person in front of him is his soulmate. He feels tears cloud his eyes so he looks away to play off wiping them away before looking back at Roman with pity in his expression. This is exactly what Virgil was afraid of, having his soulmate also experience the darkness that clouds him every day he wakes up.

"Wow… They- I- I don't know what to say… What are you gonna do when you meet them?" Virgil glances at Roman, pity still in his eyes. Roman let out a sigh but smiled, "I'm gonna give them the biggest hug they've ever received and reassure them that I'm always gonna be with them and that they'll never have to feel alone all the time ever again." Roman looked at Virgil with a smile. But, before he could notice the tear that fell from the other's eye, a loud shrill of their school bell rang throughout the courtyard, signaling the start of their next class.

"Talk about first impressions," Roman said with a chuckle, standing up. "Well, see you around, Virgil. I got a few more 'Hi, I'm Roman' to do," he continued, leaving Virgil on the bench.

~*~*~

I hear my converse squeak as I walk through the hallway. There are people around me, but they're all just silhouettes of the same familiar darkness. I'm walking to what seems to be the cafeteria. I sit down and grab my lunch from my bag. A few minutes pass, two figures sit in front of me. There's something familiar about them despite being two black silhouettes.

"Hey, kiddo! You alright?"

Patton?

"I heard there were new students," Logan?

Wait. Am I…

"Oh yeah! They're twins!"

Oh.

"I have first period with one of them. He's really nice. Oh! Hey! Roman! Over here!"

Before I could look over to… me…

Darkness. Again.

I hear muffled voices. Too muffled to be recognized.

I stay in darkness for what felt like hours before I get surrounded by light.

Too bright.

There's a silhouette in front of me. It doesn't have any facial features but I can feel it stare at me. Slowly, the light around me doesn't feel too bright anymore. It feels… warm and comforting. Similar to the feeling I have in my chest, along with a squeezing feeling. I feel tears cloud my eyes, but I feel happy, somehow?

I feel someone embrace me. I look up to see the silhouette. Its arms around me, like it's protecting me. I feel secure. I feel loved.

I hug back, breaking down in its arms.

"You don't have to be alone anymore"

I hear my own voice. I break down sobbing, seeking more of the silhouette's warmth.

I stopped sobbing after a while but remained in the silhouette's arms for what felt like hours.

"You gotta wake him up!" I heard a distant voice say in a hushed tone.

"No, he hasn't slept like this since who knows when… Something must've happened yesterday..."

I feel myself slowly drifting from where I was standing.

"We can just tell the school he's sick"

"On the second day?"

I feel someone caress my cheek.

"You can stay too if you want"

"Hey, sweetie," Roman opens his eyes to his mom in front of him.

"What's going on? Why are you all in our room?" Roman asks as he sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He eyes Remus standing in front of their mama. Their mom is sitting on the edge of Roman's bed, facing him.

"Well, sweetie. You see, you just had a full night's sleep," their mom explained.

"You looked so peaceful too," their mama added with a smile. Roman stopped to let the events of his dream last night come back to him.

"Roman, is everything ok?" Their mama walked over to him, tucking a few strands of his hair behind his ear. "Yeah… Yeah, I'm okay!" He flashed a smile to his moms, meaning what he said.

~*~*~

Roman hadn't been able to sit still ever since he got to school. 'Late', he should add. Apparently, he overslept while Remus and their moms decide whether to wake him up or not.

When they got to school in the middle of first period, they were excused because their moms were there to explain. With a slightly bent truth, of course.

Roman had to wait three(and a half) classes to talk to Virgil. They didn't have any classes together, to which Roman was bummed to find out. When the bell rang, signaling their lunch break, Roman hurriedly headed to the cafeteria. When he got there, he spotted Virgil just about to sit down at their usual table.

"Uhh. Virgil? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Roman felt awkward, to say the least.

"Uhm. Sure," Virgil replied, standing up. Roman led them under a tree in the courtyard, away from other students. They stayed silent for a while before Virgil spoke up, "So… what'd you wanted to talk about?"

Roman just stared at Virgil for a few moments, examining him, before enveloping him in a tight hug. Virgil stood frozen for a while, surprised at the gesture. He slowly placed his hands on Roman's back, still confused at the sudden affection.

"You're not alone anymore, Pumpkin," Roman said in a gentle voice, cradling the other's head. Virgil froze when he heard the nickname. His expression then softens and hugs Roman tighter, burying his face on the taller male’s shoulder.

"How did you find out?" Roman heard, slightly muffled by his jacket. "Had a dream about yesterday," Roman simply stated, not elaborating more. "What about you? You said you had a clue. Oh! That rhymed,"

They both laughed.

"I have first period with Remus and I recognized him right away," Virgil replied, his face still buried on Roman's shoulder. "Oh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with him," Roman chuckled.

"No, I'm sorry you had to deal with him your entire life,"

"Well, we're not alone anymore now, are we? Roman asked with a serious tone. Virgil parted a few inches from Roman, still holding on to him. He smiled as he looked up at Roman, "No, we're not."

This might be the last one I'll do for AU august but I'm also deciding if I should go back to the prompts I missed when I was sick hmm

I wish I included Remus more in this but it was already 3k words and thats the longest I've ever written so maybe its for the best XD

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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 3 years

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🕯Anon said: hi sweetheart 🕊 can you write about armin having a quiet night with the reader? something like wearing comfy pajamas, fairy lights, cute little candles, incense, soft songs and maybe some reading? and they just cuddling? 🥺 i think about that whenever i go to sleep and do all of the above, but i'm just by myself lmao anyways, thank you so much 🌸 (btw i'm the anon who asked you about the armin x painter!reader 🥺 hello 🥺 i just love how you write can we be friends please) 🕯

Quiet night with Armin

{ Armin x Reader | tw:none | sleep help, comfort, fluff | modern }

{ "Twilight, Valley of the Genesee" 1865 by Samuel Colman 1832 - 1920 }

Shimmering golden hues weaved across pastel blue walls in the form of strings, crossing the bookshelf before making a turn at the plants corner, illuminating the room with a soft warm glow.

Your head rested against the satin pillow, just right above Armin's shoulder, close enough that you can see the rise and fall of his chest with every breath. The ends of his hair ghosting over your cheek whenever he leaned to tell a particular clever line of the book he's been reading to you.

You can't exactly remember the name of it, but you can clearly recall his excited smile this morning when showing it to you.

"It's one of my favourites" he said, "the last time i got to reread it was in high-school, has it really been that long?" And that's all you can remember from the conversation before it got sidetracked by him asking if you had lunch yet.

There's definitely something to be said about rereading a book over and over again, a sense of familiarity, an attachment to the characters, plot and world setting. It's almost magic how quickly your comfort book, show or movie can turn a horrible day into a nice one, making it the silver lining.

Looking at the way Armin would pause for a second after some lines, or chuckle at random scenes, like it's an inside joke between him and his mind, you can tell he's definitely recalling some good memories.

Just like how he's adding to his list of comfort memories by sharing this experience with you, he wants you to be a part of this silly book he once picked up as a child and continued to revisit every few years.

You glance at the remaining pages, just as he flips another one to start anew. You've already finished a third of the book, only a quarter remaining.

It's not that you're getting impatient, but it's more that the soft blanket draped over you, the warmth of Armin's body pressed next to yours and the sound of his voice, are all luring you into a hazy cloudy state where your eyelids feel too heavy and turning your head to check the clock seems too exhausting.

How long has it been? since you curled up against him right after you went to put your empty hot chocolate mugs in the sink.

You don't have the heart to tell him that your brain stopped registering the words he's saying and instead listens to the tone of his soft-spoken voice and reacts accordingly. Stealing another glance at the remaining pages, you notice a few missing, okay good, just a few more. You can hold on right?

Right?

Forcing your eyes open, you suppress a yawn threatening to rise before curling even closer to his shoulder, face against his neck, hand over his chest.

Instead of focusing on his calming heartbeat, you try to focus your attention on different things, like the smell of snowdrops flowers filling the room from the scented incense sitting on the nightstand.

Snowdrops, the milky bell-like flowers who befriended the cold harsh snow herself.

An ancient German tale that Armin told you, on one early spring morning. When the universe was just in bloom, as the earth shaped its form and the plants dressed themselves, when the god in the heavens above just created snow, she was told to go seek her colours from the flowers below.

She came with her request, but the flowers turned their heads, refusing to acknowledge her for she is the reason for the harsh weather, deeming their life spans short, overzealous and jealous, protecting their colours from the merciless lady snow.

She was left all alone, friendliness, colourless with no love or sympathy from a soul.

Except for one, came knocking on her door, head bowed down and humbly offered to share. Snowdrops were the flowers that warmed the snow's heart, and so white was the colour in which snow was known.

Snow made a vow, to always protect her one and only friend, even from her own self. Under her watchful gaze, snowdrops were gifted with warmth that let them be the first flowers to bloom when winter bid her goodbyes as spring was arriving soon.

You've never seen snowdrops the same since, their delicate and shy nature standing out between all the proud flowers, you even suggested planting some to Armin.

"...but sweetheart" you remember him saying with a frown, " snowdrops are poisonous."

…

Yeah, and so getting their scented incense was the second best option available.

You hear the sound of another page being turned, fewer left to go, just hold on a bit longer.

Wondering the room with your eyes, your gaze fell on the straw sunhat hanging from the on the back of a chair. It's Armin's favourite, he'd always wear it when the sun was particularly bright that day.

you remember him saying it was a gift from his grandpa when he was a child.

His grandpa...didn't you visit his farm a few months ago?

...yeah you did, you can recall clearly, how you were:

Squinting your eyes to avoid the bright sun, you wiped the sweat collecting on your forehead before leaning your head back against the wooden wall. The occasional passing cool breeze distracting you from the dryness in your throat, even after moving to sit in the shade your skin still felt too hot.

The grassy fields in front stretched wide before ending in white pained fences, where the crops patches for vegetables started.

The sudden gentle waves of cool air against your skin made you glance to the side, where Armin was fanning you with his hat, while holding a tray with two ice filled lemonades in his other hand.

"Are you sure you don't want to go inside?" He said, sitting next to you before handing you the cold drink, "you've already done a lot, I'll do take care of the rest."

You've been helping Armin with the farm work since sunrise, feeding the animals together and watering the crops, saying you're exhausted from the scorching hot sun was an underestimation.

And yet, somehow Armin seems unaffected. Not a sign of being bothered as he sat there next to you with his rolled up sleeves and cuffed pants, the slight flushing to his face was the only thing he got from the sun.

"Yeah, I need to lay down a bit." You remember saying, after emptying your drink in one go.

"If that's the case then-" setting the tray aside, Armin patted his lap while looking at you, "Come here."

Too tired to protest, you layed your head on his thigh, feeling your back stretching and the cool air from his fanning was already making you feel better.

"You know, there's a story my grandpa used to tell me about the sun."

An Australian folklore, about a time when the earth was merged in absolute Darkness, when even the stars refused to light up the sky.

Eternal darkness was the fate of humanity, as people were spent their lives carrying torches to light up their way.

Gnowee was an alone mother in a forsaken world, left to fend for her little son. Each day while he slept safely, she'd venture into the the fields in search for plants or seeds. Knowing very well that's it's a matter of life and death if she couldn't come back with something edible.

Each day she'd come with whatever she could find, feeding it to her son even if it meant sleeping on an empty stomach.

But with food scarce and the abyss looming at every corner, things were harder each day.

One day after rocking her child to sleep, she quietly left with her torch to dig for yams she saw on her way last time. Retracting her footsteps, it was a long journey but she knew it'd be worth it.

And so she walked and walked till she reached the place, began digging the ground but dirt and mud was all that she could find. But she couldn't just go back to her son empty handed, and so she wandered far.

She wandered so far in fact that she reached the end, not the end of her journey but the end of the earth itself.

Somehow, in someway she managed to pass from under it, her will for her son to live another day far greater that anything, and so she emerged from the other side.

The void.

Where nothingness lived.

Looking at the vast empty space, she didn't know where she was, the line between the ground and walls was so blurred that she thought she's floating.

Panic and dread filled her mind as she raised her torch higher and higher, attempting to clear a path for her to see. For she had to go back to her son, all alone sleeping by himself.

Climbing the sky was her only solution, as she wondered the world, unknowingly lighting up a path with her as she went.

"And so the Sun Goddess wonders the sky above, in search for her son." Armin told you that day, before offering you his own lemonade to drink because he was still worried about you.

...

You can't recall how that day ended, you think you might have fell asleep on his lap right after.

The fairylights on the wall reminded you of the clear stars sky you've seen while on the farm, his grandfather was a really sweet guy too.

With your mind still coulded in drowsiness, your hearing was also delayed apparently, since you just noticed the book in Armin's hold was closed with him staring at you with a smile instead.

Moving so he could set the book on the nightstand, Armin turned towards you before pulling you closer to him, making sure the covers don't slip off of you. He cupped your face, stroking your cheek with love in his eyes.

"I'm sorry baby, did I take too long?" He said, glancing at the clock behind you answered his question.

You shook your head, murmuring a slurred "it's alright."

Posture visibly relaxing, he gave your cheek a small kiss before resting too on the pillow next to you, a yawn escaping him.

With half closed eyes, you saw him cuddling close to your chest, features softening as he bid you goodnight. Your hand moved to stroke his hair just like he always liked, lacing your fingers through the soft strands you closed your eyes too.

Warmth took over you, the feeling of his soft breath near your neck, the comfortable weight of his arms around you, the slow ticking of the clock, it all rocked you to sleep as you happily gave in.

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imaginationintowords · 3 years

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Folklore [song series]

invisible strings

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

Word count: 3401

[ a/n: thank you so much for all the love and support. We’re almost done with this series! If I forgot to tag you please let me know! Also the ending is a bit lackluster but decided to save the best one for something special for the last chapter]

Age: 21

Year: June/July 2015

Location: CA & NY

"Thank-you all for coming and christening our new place," Thor thanks everyone, as he and Loki stood up at the dining table in their lit up backyard.

"Now there's one person I want to thank, my love," Thor said, reaching his hand out to Wanda who was sat to his left, Loki took his seat back down, "My love, I just want to thank-you for being by my side these last two years. I have never been as happy as I am with anyone else. Now I'm not very good with my words, but what I do know is how I feel about you. The love I have for you exceeds anything else."

"So, I just need to ask you this one question," he says, bending down on one knee, holding Wanda's left hand, while holding the ring box in the other, "Will you, Wanda Maximoff marry me?

"Yes," she cried out, throwing her arms around Thor's neck.

Everyone got up to cheer the newly engaged couple.

Steve and Elizabeth laid naked in her bed, comfortably in each other's presence after the night's activities.

"I can't believe Wanda and Thor are engaged," Elizabeth said, as Steve rubbed her arm as she laid on his chest.

"He's been talking about it for the last year," Steve tells her, "Said he didn't want to scare her off."

"Guess I'm going to have to find a new roommate," she jokes.

"Well actually, I was thinking."

"You better not be proposing to me post sex, while we're naked in bed," Elizabeth playfully jabbed his chest, looking up at him from his chest.

"No, no," Steve lets out a hearty laugh, "Not yet. We still have time for that."

"I was actually thinking, why don't we get a place together. After graduation," Steve suggests.

"What about your job?"

"I can commute," he says, "I'll be done with school in May. You still have law school after graduation, and I have no doubt Stanford is going to accept you into their law program, so you don't have to move."

"What if I don't get accepted?"

"I highly doubt you won't, but if you don't, I'm sure Columbia will snatch you up. And I'd follow you, wherever you go."

"Really?" Elizabeth asked, surprised he would even say that.

"Yeah. There's a lot of architect firms out there, and I'm sure my boss will give me a nice recommendation."

"I couldn't ask that of you Steve," Elizabeth said, getting off of his chest to sit up, grabbing the blanket to cover her chest.

"Which is why I'm offering. I want to do that Liz. This right here," he sits up, and gestures to the both, "This is all I want. So please, if it comes time for that, just let me."

"Okay. Promise you won't resent me?" She asks, feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

"Never," he seriously says, pulling her in for a kiss, and back into his arms.

As they laid in bed, Steve notices Liz is lost in her thoughts.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"Us, and everything that's lead us to this moment. Like there were some invisible strings leading me to you," she tells him.

"Yeah, you're correct," he ponders.

"Like everything that's happened, happened for a reason. We weren't supposed to be with each other then otherwise we probably wouldn't have made it out of high school."

"You don't think?" Steve asked.

"No, because we wouldn't have been the people we are now. Let's be real here Steve, you and I are not Bucky or Peggy. We're dreamers. Full on happy ending believing people who happened to be with realists at the time. We would've been so naive about the world outside of Brooklyn," Elizabeth says.

"We had never truly experienced pain in the way that we did. If we didn't go through senior year the way that we did, we wouldn't be here. Not specifically together or in California. But we would be stuck in a life where we forced ourselves to be happy. Where we didn't have room to grow. Room to experience a different way of life. We would've been who we were as 16 year olds. And don't get me wrong but that's no way to be."

"I'm glad this happened when it did," she says tilting her head to look at Steve's face.

"Me too," he smiled kissing the top of her head.

"Wow, my arm is so tired from lugging this ring around," Wanda announces walking into Elizabeth's room where she was packing things into a suitcase.

"Must be so exhausting," Liz teases as Wanda takes a seat on her bed.

"Incredibly," Wanda smiled, "How's the packing going?"

"Good, I have everything I'll need for the next two weeks," Liz tells her, "You guys are flying in two days before Steve's birthday right?"

"Yup! Thor seems to be more excited about Steve turning 21 than he is," Wanda laughs, "Next up will be you next month. Vegas won't be ready for us."

"Thor really is going out for all of our 21st birthdays, is he."

"He's excited we're all legally allowed to drink," Wanda says.

"So," Wanda shifted in her seat, "Are you guys going to the baby shower?"

"Yeah we are," Liz nodded her head, "Things have been better, and Steve really wants to be there for Bucky, and so do I."

"How are you feeling about it all?"

"Honestly, if Bucky is happy then so am I."

"It doesn't bother you even the slightest that he's having a baby with the woman he cheated on you with?"

"No," Liz shakes her head, "We've both moved on and grew from our situation. I'm happy with Steve, truly 100% happy. I know in my heart that Steve is the one."

"Whoa, wait, back that up," Wanda immediately shot up from her spot on the bed, "He's the one?"

"Yeah," Liz bascule smiles, her cheeks turning a slight pink.

"I mean, I knew that you loved him, but I don't think you've ever said out loud that he was the one."

Elizabeth shrugs her shoulders trying to fight off the huge grin that wants to spread across her face, "Well he is."

"Wow, umm this is great news," Wanda says looking around the room.

"What's wrong?" Liz asks taking in Wanda's sudden mood change.

"I just," Wanda coughed, trying to fight back the ball in her throat, her eyes tearing up, "I'm so happy for you. God this ring is making me incredibly emotional."

"Aw Wands," Elizabeth pulled her into a hug.

"You just deserve to be with someone who truly thinks the world of you and would move those worlds for you," Wanda cries in Liz's shoulder, "I just remember you telling me all about the shit you went through with Bucky in high school, and then the crap he put you through freshman year. You were just so over the idea of love. Even with steve you were so cautious, so just to hear you say that he's the one. I'm just so incredibly happy."

Elizabeth hugged Wanda tightly, tears streaming down her face. It meant the world to her to hear Wanda say those things. She felts so incredibly lucky to have a friends like her in her life.

"I better be your maid of honor," Wanda teased pulling away and wiping her tears, "Because you already know you're mine."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"We still need to get a baby shower gift for tomorrow," Elizabeth told Steve as they lounged around his childhood bedroom. Steve was sat at his desk sketching, while Elizabeth laid in his bed reading a book.

"I can do that if you want," Steve offered, not wanting to make Elizabeth uncomfortable no matter how many times she's told him she was fine.

"Somehow I don't think I can trust you getting the correct gift," Elizabeth teased.

"Babies like legos right?" He teased back, getting up to join her on the bed, laying his head down on her stomach.

"We can go together, I still need to get a few things for the party next weekend," she said playing with his hair.

Steve hummed in response, feeling himself getting tired, "A quick little nap and we'll go."

"Sounds good," she smiled at the man snuggled up on her.

The next day the couple were walking into the Barnes' backyard, hand-in-hand with a gift bag.

They were both instantly greeted by Bucky's mother Winnie.

"Oh you two made it!" She enthusiastically greeted them, pulling them both into a hug.

"Of course. We wouldn't have missed it," Steve smiled at her.

"Thank-you," she turned to Liz and grabbed her hand, "both of you. James really appreciates it. We all do. Especially with everything that has happened, he's going to need his best friends."

"You don't have to thank us," Liz says, "We'll always be there for Bucky. No matter what happens."

"Well thank-you," she smiles, and then turns to Steve, "Steve the men have been sent inside, so you can see your way inside."

"Already getting pushed aside," he jokes.

He placed a kiss on Elizabeth's cheek, "I'll be inside if you need me."

She nodded her head, then glanced around the yard and caught eye contact with an old high school classmate, Natasha's friend, rolling her eyes at the couple.

She cleared her throat, "Where do the gifts go?"

"Over at that table where Rebecca is at," Winnie smiled, and pointed to the table to the right where Rebecca was organizing all the gifts. Liz thanked her and made her way over.

Liz couldn't help but start to feel a bit uncomfortable. She hadn't planned for she and Steve to be separated for the entire party. She didn't really know anyone here, aside from Bucky's family, where things were still a bit awkward after last summer.

Even though things were good between Steve, Bucky, and her, it was still awkward. She and Natasha don't have the best history, they still haven't talked everything out, clear the air. Not that Nat owed Elizabeth a conversation, she just thought that now that things were okay, maybe them two can work on their relationship, for the sake of Bucky. But whenever Liz tried to reach out Nat would just say that she was busy, so she didn't push it. Not with Natasha being pregnant, plus she figured now that she was in town for two weeks that maybe they could get together for a quick chat.

"Hey Liz," Rebecca greeted her, a sigh of relief to see a friendly face.

"Hey Bec," she smiled, hugging the teen.

"God, I'm so glad to see you," Rebecca said pulling back from the hug, "Some of these girls are real bitches."

Liz was taken back for a second hearing Rebecca swear, it's sometimes hard to believe that tiny little toddler is now this young lady about to enter her senior year of high school.

"I'm sure they're not so bad," Liz said trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.

"Really? Because they're looking at you like you just murdered their entire family," Rebecca said.

Elizabeth turned around to see Natasha's friends huddled in a semi-circle around Natasha, all whispering and glaring at her. She turned back around to Rebecca and gave her a force smile.

Rebecca felt bad at bringing that to Liz's attention. Liz was always so nice to her, and even continues to keep in contact with her especially when Rebecca needs any help or advice.

"I can take that," she said trying to change the subject.

"Thank-you," she quietly said, handing over the gift bag to Rebecca.

"They're just jealous," Rebecca tells her, "Even with having my brother's child, Natasha still can't find it in her cold hearted heart to be nice to you."

"She doesn't owe me anything."

"Now that's not true. She owes you a lot, and the least she can do is be nice, especially with my mother throwing her this baby shower and allowing her to live with us until she and Bucky find a place."

"She's living here?" Elizabeth asked, surprised to hear that. Bucky never mentioned Nat living with them, they did know that they were looking at places closer to his job and school.

"Yeah, she moved in probably two months ago, when she really started to show," Rebecca tells her, "Apparently she hadn't told her dad, and once she started showing she had to confess. He kicked her out. Said she was ruining her life."

"That's intense," Elizabeth said.

"Yup. So my mom and Keith are letting her stay until they find a place of their own," Rebecca says, "And as much as I love my brother I can't wait til she's gone. He's an idiot for knocking her up."

"She can't be that bad," Liz said trying to give Nat the benefit of the doubt.

"Trust me Liz, she is. Being pregnant has made her a complete devil," Rebecca stresses, "My mom is way too nice to have that be the mother of her first grandchild."

Before Liz could respond to that, someone came up behind her.

"Oh Becky, I wanted the gifts to be color coordinated," Natasha remarked, with her hand on her belly.

"My mom told me to do it by size," Rebecca rolled her eyes, "And my name's Rebecca."

"But Becky is so cute."

"No it's not," Rebecca argued.

"Hi Natasha," Elizabeth awkwardly greeted, breaking up the conversation.

"Oh hi Elizabeth," Natasha stiffly said, forcing a smile on her face as she rubs her belly, "Didn't think you would show up."

"Oh, well Steve told Bucky we were coming," she explains.

"Of course he did."

"You look pretty," Elizabeth complimented her to try and break the tension.

"I know. I'm absolutely glowing carrying Bucky's child," she replied with a snarky tone.

"I'm really happy for you both."

"Sure you are," she rolled her eyes.

"No, I truly am. That's why I actually wanted to talk to you about. I was wondering if maybe we can get together sometime this next week, to talk," Liz suggests.

"There's no need," Nat tells her, "I get what you're doing. You think that getting on my good graces will put you in Bucky's good graces, but I hate to break it to you, that's not going to happen. I'm trying my best here to be polite to you, but once this baby is born, I'll make sure Bucky no longer makes time for you and Steve. I am his life now, and we don't have space in it for you both."

"Nat-"

"Thanks for the gift, hopefully the gift receipt is in the bag," Natasha fake smiled, "Enjoy the party."

"Fix the gifts Becky," she turned to Rebecca enunciating 'Becky', before walking away to go back to her friends.

"Told you she was the devil," Rebecca commented, ignoring Natasha's request.

"Yeah, you weren't lying," Elizabeth turned to look at Nat who was laughing with her friends.

Steve and Elizabeth said their final goodbyes a couple of hours later, and walked back to their rental car.

"That went well, don't you think?" Steve commented on as he started the car.

"Yeah it did," she lied.

Elizabeth decided it was probably best not to bring it up to Steve. He and Bucky just fixed their relationship, that she was afraid if she told Steve that Bucky wouldn't believe them. She would just have to hope that Bucky wouldn't allow their friendship to take another hit. She had faith that their friendship was stronger than that.

"Do you mind if we made a stop somewhere?" Steve asks her as he pulls away from the curb.

"No, of course not."

"Perfect. We just have to make one quick pit stop before," he says a few minutes later, parking in a parking lot of a cafe.

Steve walked back out of the cafe with a picnic basket.

"What's that for?" She asked smiling as he got in, putting the basket in the backseat.

"Just wait and see," he winked.

15 minutes later they were pulling up to a park.

"A park?"

"Thought we could have an impromptu picnic date," he smiles, "Wait here."

He got out of the car and grabbed the basket from the backseat. She heard him close and open the trunk. He then opened her door.

"Mi lady," he held his hand open for her to take.

"Oh why thank-you kind sir," she giggled taking his hand.

He led her to a nice spot on top of a hill, overlooking the park.

"Can you hold this for me real quick," he asked, holding out the picnic basket for her.

She took it from him as he laid out the blanket. Steve took the basket back and started to unpack the contents and laid them out on the blanket for them.

"A little dinner at sunset," he offered his hand so she can sit down next to him on the blanket.

"This was perfect Steve," she kissed his cheek, as they finished off their little dinner.

"Just thought I'd thank-you for coming with me today," he says wrapping his arm around her, as she leaned into him.

"You don't have to thank me."

"I know I don't, but I want to. I know you say you were fine with today, and I completely believe you, but I also know that even if you're okay with it, it's still can be uncomfortable," he says, "So I just want to show you how appreciative I am of you."

"I love you," she leans her head up to capture his lips with her's.

Age: 27

Year: 2021

Location: Brooklyn, NY

"Steve whats with the blind fold," Elizabeth giggled in the passenger seat of their rental car.

"It's a surprise," he laughed, "Now just be patient, we're almost there."

"Steve, come on you know I hate surprises."

"You liked the last surprise I gave you," he teased.

"It was a kitten, that's different," she smiled.

"You still loved it," he said, "Plus we're here already."

"Oh that was quick," she said reaching to take her blindfold off.

"Don't," he warned her, "Not yet."

Steve helped her out of the car, and linked their arms together as he led her to the surprise.

"Okay, we're here," he nervously said, he took her blindfold off.

Liz adjusted her eyes after being in the dark for the past 30 minutes. When she opened her eyes, she was greeted with a lantern lit up picnic on top of the hill at the park.

"Surprise," Steve said behind her.

Liz turned around to find Steve down on one knee, with an opened ring box.

"Steve," she gasped.

He took her left hand into his own.

"Elizabeth Carolina Sanchez, words can't even explain how much I am in love with you, but I'm going to try. I don't think i can remember back to a time where you weren't a part of my life, and honestly i don't want to. You've made me so incredibly happy these last almost seven years, and no matter how much I say I'm appreciate of you, i don't think it's ever going to be enough. Getting to wake up to you every day to you smiling at me, honestly i don't think there's a greater thing in the world. I'd give the entire world, if it meant that I got to see you smile every day of my life. I don't ever want to imagine a life without you. You've made me the best person I could ever want to be. There's not a day that doesn't go by where you don't continuously tell me how proud you are of me, and the endless amount of support and love you've given me. There's no one I'd rather spend my entire life with. Start a family with. Be a family with. So, Elizabeth, will you do me the greatest honor of marrying me?"

"Yes," Elizabeth choked out, as the tears streamed down her face. She lunged herself into Steve's arms and kissed him.

"I love you so much," she cried.

"I love you too," he said, pulling her into another kiss.

They pulled away, and Steve placed the ring on her finger.

"I love you," she said again.

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luvlyrv · 3 years

Text

Our Songs | Extra | Wendy x F!Reader SM!AU

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: So happy to say this series is completely finished now!! Enjoy!! I'm moving onto more projects and hopefully can wrap up some one shots I've been working on. This is a different style from what I usually do since it is an extra, warning that the post looks really long because it's in bulleted style lol

Date: 9/1/21

Series Masterlist

after your confession with wendy you were stuck with an enormous burst of energy

you were on cloud nine, a seemingly never-ending high

you decided not to text wendy the day right after

you didn't want her to think you regretted anything but you also didn't want to seem too clingy

also it didn't help that just thinking about her was enough to throw you into cardiac arrest

you didn't receive any notifications from wendy either

it was a bit disappointing, but you assumed she was also trying to take in the shock of it all

trying to take your mind off of wendy you spend an entire day running around your house

you pick up your instruments and have the jam of your life

emotional highs are very good for your creativity it seems

you decide to record some things and save some drafts

who knows if it'll be useful in the future?

you worked till you felt dead tired and like you couldn't have another thought in your brain

even after you spent an entire day trying to exert your nervous and elated energy you were still hesitating on texting wendy when you woke up

but you missed her so much already

so you send a text asking her how she feels

she says she feels okay, and then asks about you

'yeah, i'm okay too'

your conversation was rocky

things weren't going as smooth as before

and it was evident that it was because the both of you had no idea how to behave

you took a deep breath before texting her your question

'so, can i take you on that first date?'

you see a bubble showing that she was texting

and then it disappeared

before showing up again

and disappearing

and- ugh! your heart was racing waiting for her answer

i mean, she liked you back right? so why would she say no?

'yeah, of course! :)'

whew, okay, looked like you almost made a big deal out of nothing

little did you know wendy was freaking out

she was a bit embarrassed at herself, acting as if she was a high school kid in love or something

it took wayyy too much concentration for her to type out something sensible

but she was excited for you to finally ask

you were also excited for her to say yes

your first date is at the downtown center

there was a festival and you were hoping to enjoy all the effort the artisans put into their work with wendy

you're walking with her through the numerous stalls set up

as the both of you admire the beautiful crafts set on display your hand reaches for hers

you feel the pressure of her hand squeezing back and you look at her

she looks at you and giggles

you didn't even realize what you were doing

'oh, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to do that suddenly.' you freak out and let go of her hand

you're worried that she was laughing at you and that she didn't want to hold hands

'it's okay! i thought it was cute'

she reaches out for you and you don't let go this time

instead you enjoy how happy she seems to be sharing this moment with you

and out in public too

later on you both go to the square where there were musicians

the sun was beginning to set, allowing for beautiful lighting and you appreciated songs you've never listened to before

wendy tugs at your arm while still staring at the performers

'i hope we can perform up there someday. together.'

you smile at her as she still looks on

'i think we will.' you assure her

finally night hits and you both call it a day

you walk her to her car and stop her

you kiss her forehead

'so, will there be a second?' you ask with a smile

you feel like you already know the answer

'i think that sounds great.'

life with wendy in it became easy

you guys seldom fought

and even when you did at least one of you would make something for the other

dropping it off at the doorstep and leaving an apology note

and after enough time of cooling down you would always come back to each other, talking out your problems from before

you personally felt like your work improved as well

wendy had become your muse

you sought to create tracks that would impress her

or that would be worthy of having her voice in it

and you felt like it was easier to write lyrics

because every experience with wendy created new feelings

feelings that you could hardly describe sometimes

when you guys decided to finally start working on your second collaboration you busted out the drafts you created long ago

wendy was impressed after sitting down and listening to your drafts

'woah, how many hidden gems do you have on your computer?'

'well, these ones in particular i made on the same day. the day after i confessed to you.'

you're both flustered

because it's easy to tell the kind of state you were in by the songs

wendy takes your hand and kisses it gently as your music continued to play

'you must think of me pretty highly, if the thought of me compelled you to make something so incredible'

you heat up at her cheesiness

'oh stop it.'

the two of you end up choosing a refreshing feeling/sound for the album

'cause you recharge me every time i see you!' she says

when you guys are almost done producing the album, that was when you went on the dinner date with wendy

the one where you guys would finally confess to the world

after recording and uploading the announcement video the both of you decided to turn off your notifications and avoid reading people's reactions

instead you guys opted to spend the rest of the day baking and then watching a movie together

the both of you decided that it would be stressful to engage with your audience right away, and that's why it took a full day for you both to check your phones again

both seulgi and yeri already knew about your relationship but they both flooded you guys with congratulations anyways

they just wanted you to know they were proud of your bravery!

besides them, both of your families already knew and didn't comment much

they'd already stated how they think you're good for each other when you guys had visited together

especially your younger cousin

cause apparently she's a big fan of wendy and is definitely not using you as a way to get close to her idol

and is definitely not bragging about her how cousin is 'super super cool and famous and is dating another famous person and i think they'll be rich someday!!! so get on my nice side!'

you're happy to see that a lot of fans are happy for your relationship

wendy just keeps telling you 'of course they are, who wouldn't for a cute ass couple like us?'

it was at that point that you guys had decided to save up and move into a nice place together

you guys had talked about future plans before

not only that, but you had been practically living together already

between all the dates that lead to seemingly indefinite sleepovers

and the recent collaboration that made you guys be stuck together

it was really you guys living at each other's place weeks at a time

when you guys move in you're grateful

because you get to experience all the little things from her even more

some nights when you're stressed she rubs circles on your back to help you sleep

when you guys shower together she takes her time to carefully wash your hair

it was those deeply intimate moments that made you the happiest

both of your careers were doing really well due to the reception of your second collab and all the media fuss that happened with your dating annoucement

you both still have solo careers and interact with other musicians

but along with moving in, you guys decided to become a duo and consistently create music together

in the morning when you share breakfast you always remind her how good life is and how thankful you are

#wendy x reader #red velvet scenarios #red velvet imagines #rv imagines #rv x reader #rv scenarios #gg x reader #kpop imagines #kpop writing #kpop au #son seungwan #girl group scenarios #girl group imaines

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zu-is-here · 3 years

Note

6800!! Congratulations Zu! That's great news!

How's everything going for you? It's almost the weekend! Yay!

YAY thanks a million, Gayfish! (๑>◡<๑)☆

Oh great! Thanks again <3 Enjoying some free time at work— the weekend is coming! ♪

How are you doing? ♡

UPD:

Same here,,, \(//∇//)\

Oh almost! We don't actually have breaks cause the news happens nonstop. Luckily, there were many of us at the "post" today and I fulfilled my quota much earlier so was able to distract myself from one screen to another XD

Oh my god Gayfish! (ó3ò) How do you feel now?? Does it hurt? You have nothing to be ashamed of: we all fall sometimes or stumble and there's nothing terrible about it unless it harms your health (>_<") Please take care and get better soon! (ówò)♡

Speaking of the event— How was it?? Did you have a good time? (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) It sounds so cool to be dressed up, I'm sure you looked amazing ☆ I had my hair styled only once, for my high school prom, and was so shy with all the attention but it was worth it <3 Oh wow!! How long is you hair btw? *^* Pfff mouth wash omg xd

Oh YAY!! Congratulations! \(//∇//)\☆ Such a great job, and you're doing amazing, good luck with this! <3

A short comic you say? (ﾟωﾟ) Oh I'm so intrigued!~

YEAH I have big plans for this weekend! (òwó)☆ Tomorrow I go to the dentist to discuss the installation of veneers: as a child, I fell off my bike and broke my teeth, now I wanna finally replace my old fillings with permanent teeth. It'll be beautiful but my wallet is already howling XD And thennn wanna go to the dancing open-air again ♪(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

Also, on the night from Saturday to Sunday, my father returns home and Imma go to my parents' house to meet him <3 He doesn't really like all the attention and will probably go to sleep right away after a long journey but he'll be happy I hope, plus he'll want to eat something in the morning sooo (*´꒳`*)

Yep! Really good, thanks <3 Btw, yesterday at the meeting my boss said they're gonna conduct some experiment— guess who's the guinea pig? :') I have no idea what they'll want from me but it’s scary and exciting (°▽°)

Oh that's so good to hear it! And I'm really glad you had a nice time <3 Also thank youuu! Usually a school prom is a short ceremony and the continuation of the party outside the school so we went to take pictures in the city center and had fun in a restaurant in the evening ♪ What's a prom in your country like? *^*

Woah that's long hair! *0* I really like it like this and I had these but then I cut them to the shoulders and now I am growing them again ☆

Oh let's hope,,, *pray emoji* ♡ Wait you can't ride a bike?? It's nothing wrong but haven't you ever? (・∀・)

Thank you again! <3 Guess all dads are the same at some point xd

Thank you! (≧∀≦)

Oh I hope the camp-like thing was worth it! *^* You know, we never miss what's destined for us, and vice versa, I believe. Sure we do control our life and make changes but this is what was planned from the very beginning ★ Everything is done for the better!╰(*´︶`*)╯

Amazing (*'▽'*) Isn't it hard to take care of them? I remember having a tangled time XD

Pfff that might be for better as well! :'D I learned to ride when my parents gave me a bicycle for my 7th birthday but the situation quickly got out of hand xd I rided after that and still can do it tho, skills are impossible to lose <3 I remember you told about not giving a chance to roller and ice skating but do you have other skills? *^*

Oh I'm sorry about that (ó3ò)

Ouch I can literally feel this pain :') XD You've just cut them out of your hair?? (°▽°) So easy,,,

WOW self defense and fighting! *0* How was it?? And aerial hoops and silks, looks so beautiful and elegant ☆ Is it hard? As for me, I used to ski! ٩( ᐛ )و Didn't take part in competitions tho, was just enjoying some adrenaline ☆

#updated #zu is happy #ask

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ye4gerismarchives · 3 years

Text

the bachelorette chp 4, part 3: visiting jean’s mom

an: so, i decided i'd write the elimination in a separate chapter, one, just to mess with y'all and two, to give you time. i honestly think picking one of these three guys is really hard. obviously, i know who i want to win, but i look at the two other guys and i'm like 'oh, they would be good too!'. i like pulling at your heartstrings ;). i'll probably put together another q&a (depending on the numbers of questions i get) and once i do that, i'll wait for a day and then close the poll to start writing! anyways, let me stop sharing my thought process with yall and start your date with jean. link at the bottom!

tags: black, fem reader

tag list: @taybird

Bertholdt drove you back to the mansion and you texted Connie asking him to prepare something for you, Bertholdt. Jean and Connie to eat. And maybe a lil something for that brat Levi. Connie responded with an 'ok' and a smiley face.

The car ride home was silent. You felt awful for Bertholdt. You wondered how many silent post-hospital drives he's been through.

Once you got home, Bertholdt told you he wasn't very hungry and just wanted to lay down. You wanted to argue with him but Bertholdt needed space. You wish him good night before making your way to the kitchen.

Connie and Jean were chatting it up in the kitchen once you walked in. Connie was the one to announce your entrance. "Hey, y/n," he greets. Jean then turns around. "Hey, y/n. How is Bert holding up? I understand that visit was really hard."

"Thank you for asking, Jean. Bertie...well...he's just being human. His dad...it's really bad," you reply. You take a seat by Jean at the kitchen island. "The fact that he's been holding in for a while...it's crazy. I would have never thought he was in that situation. No wonder he was so stressed after that Porco got angry with him," Jean says. You raise an eyebrow at Jean. "Oh...after Porco got angry with him about you, Bert seemed sadder and more introverted than usual. He only really confided in Reiner, though," Jean explained.

"Ah, that makes sense. Poor Bertie."

Connie had made some garlic bread with ava ado toast and egg. You didn't expect that out of him but you all enjoyed it. You felt tired, so you told the guys you were ready to lay down. They wished you good night before diving into a conversation about...y'all i don't even know what men talk about 😐

The next morning, you woke up at the same time as you did for Connie's visit. Your final visit would be Jean's mom. She also lived far away from the mansion but Jean insisted that you could take your time. She would still be at her home. No nurses to rush you out or kids bugging their parents. You hoped this visit would be as peaceful as it sounded.

You were very hungry though. You didn't realize it last night about the whole Bertholdt thing and you only had those little stupid avocado things that Connie made. It was good but didn't feel you up. You decided you would take a bath and get ready for your visit later.

You crept downstairs, hoping not to wake anyone up. You didn't want Levi questioning you and you didn't want to stop and talk to the boys because you would probably have a day-long conversation and if that conversation was with Jean, you probably wouldn't see his mom.

You made a few turns and found yourself in the kitchen. And you weren't alone. Jean was leaning on the kitchen counter, sipping on some coffee that he had made. His eyebrows widened at your presence.

"Good morning," he greeted, "I didn't expect you to be up right now."

"Oh, I'm just hungry right now. Didn't eat much yesterday," you say. Jean places his coffee down on the table. "Would you like me to make you something?"

You were about to say yes but a greater idea came into mind. "Why don't we make something together? It would be fun and give you bonus points..." You wiggle your eyebrows when you say that last part. Jean let out a laugh. "Well, you're hungry and I can't let you starve. Us working together will make things faster...and those 'bonus points' would help a lot."

You walk towards Jean and his eyes remain on you. You find yourself wrapping his arms around his waist. It was just on-demand. Jean pulls you close and kisses your forehead. "What do you wanna make?"You think for a minute. "You know how to make (meal of your choice)?"

Whether Jean says yes or no is up to you. However, Jean is really good at following directions. If you need something, he'll get it. If you needed him to watch something, he watches it with intensity.

After a few minutes, the meal was ready and you both sat by the kitchen island and dug in. "I hope Connie doesn't wake up and butt into our breakfast," you joke. Jean let out a small laugh. "Connie's really nice. He hasn't shown me or anyone else any hostility during our time here."

"If you could say...who did you think was the worst person here?" you ask. Jean doesn't even have to wait to answer. "I'd have to Floch. Confidence is key but Floch just got disrespectful about it. Talking about how we should all go home and let him have you. And he was only here one night and everyone already had a bad vibe about him."

Your heart panged at that answer. "Thank you for telling me. I know everyone likes drama but Floch sounds...dangerous. I don't know what would have happened if he stayed." "Yeah, of course. Sorry if that made you uncomfortable," Jean said sheepishly. The discomfort must have been visible on your face. "No, don't apologize. I asked."

You continued to eat your breakfast and chat and hear about Jean's experience in the mansion so far.

After breakfast, you and Jean got ready for the day and finally decided to head out. Jean was starting his car when you decided to ask another question.

"I've never heard you talk about your dad. I've heard bits about your mom and you've mentioned her to the other guys but I never hear about your father. He isn't dead right? Is he sick? Like Bertholdt's?"

Jean is silent for a minute. "Oh...I don't really like talking about my dad, but you would have to know at some point."

"Oh, Jean...you don't have to. Don't worry about it."

He shakes his head. "It's fine. We were going to have this conversation pretty soon, so it doesn't matter."

Jean starts moving the car and when he's out on the road, he begins to talk.

"My dad has never been in my life. At this point, I don't know if he's dead or not. Sometimes I feel like he isn't my father. We did talk like once or twice when I was a kid and I was actually desperate to see him. But once I reached high school and started preparing for my adult life, I realized he wasn't worth it anymore. If my dad really wanted to be there for me, he would have reached out more often and let me know that things were hard on his end. I know everything I'm saying is being recorded and broadcasted, so if he ever sees me on TV, he can always hit me up. I just won't be naïve and stupid like I was the last time."

You immediately jump in after that last line. "Hey. You weren't naïve or stupid. He was stupid. You were a kid waiting on his dad. You had every right to wait for him, so don't insult yourself over him."

Deep down inside, you weren't sure if you wanted to meet Jean's dad...if he was alive. Jean didn't seem comfortable talking about him at all, so you shouldn't expect any visits or calls from that man. If you were to have kids and he popped up, that'd be hard to deal with. It would probably break Jean's heart to learn that his father would want to see his grandkids before even meeting the guy who helped make them.

Jean doesn't respond to what you said. Again, this was hard for him and he didn't even want to bring his father up in the first place, so you weren't upset.

You end up falling asleep in the car. Hours later, you wake up and Jean is parked in front of a bakery. He's on the phone. "Yeah, ma, we're here. Right in front of it, she's sleeping but we'll head inside....I miss you too...alright then, bye."

Jean hangs up and places the phone down. He jumps slightly when he realizes you're awake. "H-hey. I thought you were sleeping."

"Well, I was. Your mom is ready to see us?" You ask. "Yeah. She owns this bakery and decided to close completely today to meet you. I asked her if we could meet at home but she insisted that her bakery would be best. She's really proud of it," Jean explains. "Are we going to bake something?"

Jean laughs and shakes his head no. "Oh, no. My mom won't let you do any work in there, since you're a special guest. She put some things together if you want to eat something."

You imagined Jean's mother as someone who prioritized her future-in-law over her own son sometimes. It sounds overbearing but you thought this was a good thing. You wouldn't want an evil mother or father-in-law. If Jean were to cheat on you or hurt you, you knew she'd probably be on your side or hear both sides instead of immediately siding with her son.

You also wanted to assume that she was tough on Jean. Considering that she raised him herself, she had to do other things like work. To give herself some peace, she probably had a no-nonsense household- maybe why Jean was more like a puppy and wasn't as scandalous as the eliminated.

Jean got out of the car and helped you out. He didn't take your hand when directing you to the bakery but opened the door for you. Inside was a short, older woman, standing there with her hands clasped. The minute you stepped in, her excitement exploded. "Hi! Welcome! It's finally nice to meet you," she says. The older woman squeezes and you can't help but let out a chuckle...or a wheeze. "H-hey, mom. Maybe you should let her go," Jean steps in nervously. Jean's mom slowly lets go. "I'm sorry! I just got excited. Are you hungry?"

You shake your head. "No, Mrs. Kirstein. Jean actually helped me put together breakfast."

"Good, good. I'm glad he's being useful! And call me June. Come, sit, sit."

Jean's mom takes your hand and leads you to a small table and pulls open a chair for you. Jean quietly pulls a chair up by you. You start to worry about him because all the attention is on you, rather than the both of you.

"Can I get you something to drink?" June asks. "Some water would be nice," you answer. Your eye catches Jean's hand. You place your own on his and you feel him jump slightly. "Jean, would you like something too?"

"I-I'll take water too," Jean croaks. "Well, Jean, I'm sure you can serve yourself. I'm getting old, you know. Make sure you get a glass for y/n too."

Jean looks ready to argue back but he keeps his lips zipped. He carefully removes your hand from

his, gets up, and heads over to the back of the bakery.

You watch Jean do all of this and then finally turn away so that you can give June all your attention. "Please tell me he's been good to you," she starts. You weren't expecting this question but considers why she's asking. "Yes, Jean is...amazing. He's always coming to my defense. Which I shouldn't be surprised by, he is a lawyer."

June sighs in relief. "I hope he stays that way. He told you...about our situation right?" You nod. "It's unfortunate that his father did that to the both of you. If Jean does get married to me, I hope he doesn't pop out of anywhere. Jean's a good guy but I'm not too sure how he'll react to something like that." June let's our a small hum.

"Have you been watching the show?" you ask. "A little. I work, so it's hard to catch up on what's going on. Sometimes I'll read articles and Jean will text me to let me know if he didn't get eliminated. I was a little concerned about him doing the show because nothing is guaranteed."

"Hm...is he cocky about this whole thing? Does he really think he can get me?"

June thinks for a moment. "I can't say cocky but there's nothing wrong with a little confidence. Jean is handsome, he has a good job, he's smart- and he knows that. He believed those would be good reasons for you to like him. But...he does get bashful sometimes. He doesn't want all the attention on him and for people to view him in the wrong way. The fact that he had a mirror in his pocket on the first night was interesting to me. He's never done anything like that before."

You open your mouth but Jean enters once more. He places three water bottles on the table. "Sorry for taking too long. Ma, I'll replace the waters. Don't worry about it," he says. June shakes her head. "Don't worry about it, Jean. We have plenty of water."

"So, have you two discussed wedding plans? Anything for the future?" June suddenly asks. You look at Jean, who looks like his stomach was doing the chacha slide or sum. "M-mom-!"

"Well, we haven't reached that point because we don't know if he's staying or not but I'd like a really elegant wedding. I know we'll have a live-streamed wedding but I'd like to have a private wedding too. That would be nice right?" you cut in. Jean nods in agreement.

"What about kids? I read somewhere that you wanted a family," you tease. Jean's face reddened. "W-well...um...yeah...two would be nice. A girl and b-boy maybe?"

"See? We have a plan," you say with a wide smile. You could imagine Jean as a cautious dad but he still knew how to have fun with his kids. After long days at work, he'd cuddle with them and put them to sleep for you. When the kids are asleep, he'll check on you and make sure you had something to eat. He'd probably make sure to schedule regular date nights and family vacations. He'll have photos of you and the kids and maybe a few bandages in a wallet. Obviously, you would both be in the public eye once in a while but he would make things feel normal.

"I think you two would have beautiful kids. I do hope Jean gets picked. But your two other guys are good too. Bertholdt is absolutely adorable and Connie seems like he knows what he's doing. I don't know how you're ever going to choose. I can't imagine being your situation," June says.

"Wow, thanks for having my back mom," Jean says jokingly. "But if not me, pick Connie. He's a good person."

"Oh, Jean, don't do that to yourself. You're lovely." You cup his cheek and his reddened face returns.

Jean's mom starts talking about Jean when he was a kid- how he was such a big softie and a great helper, how he was popular in high school but still to himself, and all the girlfriends and boyfriends that she didn't like.

It was getting late. Jean's mom offered you her home but Jean stopped her before she could ask. You didn't question why he didn't want to stay at her home but still wondered why. You said your goodbyes, watched her lock the bakery, and drive off. Jean helps you into his car and gets into the drivers' seat.

"You know why she wanted to you go home with her?" he asks.

You shake your head no. "There's only one bed. A twin size bed," Jean says as he starts the car. You let out a chuckle. "Connie's parents tried that with us except Connie had a bigger bed."

Jean looks over at you. "Oh...I should have probably taken her offer."

"Connie and I didn't do anything that night...maybe you could give me a sample of what you can do. It'll help me decide."

Jean didn't hesitate to lean over and cup your cheek. He went in first. Jean was gentle and careful with your lips. You soon gave in and wrapped a hand on his wrist. When things started to get hot, you pulled away. "Didn't expect you to be that gentle...You really want me, huh?"

"Yeah," Jean says scratching his neck. "You're pretty rough... you have experience?"

Whether you say yes or no is up to you.

Jean smiles at your answer and starts driving. You try to fall asleep but it's so hard. All you can see is Bertholdt, Connie, and Jean at the next elimination. You wished Eren or Onyankopon did stupid stuff later on and were a part of the final three so that this could be easier.

Hours later, Jean reaches the mansion. He thinks you're still asleep. He doesn't want to wake you up. So what does he do? Jean opens the passenger door and scoops you up in his arms. Your heart jumps. You hope it's dark enough outside so that he can't see the small smile you're trying not to crack.

It doesn't Jean long to get to the door and ring the doorbell. He must be really strong. The door opens and he's greeted by Connie.

"You need help with that man?"

"Um...no...I think I'll get her up there. But you could get her purse from my car though. She'll probably wonder where that is."

Connie probably gave him a non-verbal response since there was just silence after that. Jean got you up the stairs and struggled with your bedroom door but he got in within ten minutes. Jean turns on your lights, places you on the bed, and removes your shoes. He steps away but you hear ripping sounds proceeding by scribbling. You can hear Jean turning off your lights and closing the door behind him as he leaves. Your eyes flick open and you wait a few moments. You turn on the light on your bed stand to see the note Jean wrote you.

'Wasn't sure what to do with your clothes. It's not my place to decide that- at least not yet. But I hope you slept comfortably.'

You smile softly at the note. It was definitely something he would say.

i use YOUR opinions to not only put together dates but to put together personalities. if y’all say you hate bertholdt, i’ll work my magic to mess with y’all :) anyways here’s the link! ask good questions. this is the last time you’ll see bertholdt, jean, OR connie. vote and ask wisely

#black!reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot x black! reader #bertholdt x reader #connie spinger x reader

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shelby-love · 4 years

Text

WILL HALSTEAD

Right Feelings But Wrong Matchmaking

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warnings: Failed attempt at matchmaking eek 😬

Authors note: /

"So you're telling me they're still together?" You ask Doris.

Not even 3 hours into the morning shift and Doris already has you in her claws, ready to deliver to you the hottest tea.

"Yes and no." Doris the gossiper nurse says and takes note of your furrowed eyebrows. Sighing she joins you at the front desk to explain in detail. "Because you're new here it might be hard to read their secret looks of longing. But don't worry I'll save you the trouble. Will and Natalie are definitely still into each other. They just need a light push because they're going through a rocky patch. Which is totally normal."

You pretend to understand her bomb of words and nod enthusiastically, hoping that she doesn't catch on. Catch on what?

Your disappointment.

You could've sworn that Will had a thing for you. Thanks to Maggie the two of you have been sharing most of yours patients which simply equals spending more time together and getting to know each other.

Dr. Halstead was also the first person to greet you and show you around the mighty Gaffney Chicago Medical Center.

When you asked Will about him and Natalie he shrugged you off and told you not to worry about it. Then after that he continued to flirt with you and hang around you more than a normal colleague would.

Thanks to Doris you now, unfortunately, knew that the handsome doctor was off the market.

And thanks to your will to make good friends here, you didn't want to miss on the opportunity to help the duo reconnect. Doing that might even get you a new girl friend. Natalie seemed like a very sweet person after all.

***

"Doctor Halstead, doctor Y/LN trauma 3." Maggie paired the two of you up just like she always did.

"How bad is it?" You ask her as you walk towards the trauma room.

"A piece of cake." She simply replies.

"Then why send us both?" Will pipes in. It's not like he minded working with you... In fact, every time someone arrived he hoped for Maggie to pair you two up.

You were so amazing to him to the point you completely consumed his mind. And he liked the feeling of you invading his mind. Will didn't experience it for a while.

The nurse in charge sent you a smirk you definitely understood. The conversation with Doris flew into your mind and you called after her without thinking twice.

"Maggie wait!"

Confused about your call, Maggie walks back to you. "Could you pair me up with someone else? Please?"

"I thought you liked working with Will?" She asks confused.

"Yeah... I'm not bad company. Am I?" Will joins.

"You're not... I just... I don't wanna get in between you!" There! You said it. It's out of your hands now.

"In between who?" Maggie asks. She's very interested in the love triangles around the ED.

Shyly you look towards Natalie who's talking to April by the computers. Will and Maggie follow your lead.

"And that's my que to go." Maggie says but before she leaves she turns to you. "Who told you that?"

"Wha-" Before you can protect the secret identity of Doris you notice the look in Maggie's eyes. "Doris."

"Well that explains a lot of things." Maggie mumbles whilst shaking her head. She leans in and whispers something into Will's ear. It makes his smile reach his ears. "I'll leave you to two to talk. Doctor Rhodes you're on trauma today so you listen to me! Now, do me a favour and check on the patient in trauma 3!"

And just like that your patient is snatched from your grasp, curtesy of yours truly. You notice the small wink and smirk Maggie sends your way before she shashays away from you.

"I-" You're lost for words once again. Not because of shock but because of embarrassment. You just tried to play matchmaker and failed terribly.

Your blood travels all the way to your cheeks at the thought. Things with you and Will are 100% screwed right now.

Or so you thought.

"Come." William's voice brings you out of your trans and his extended hand puts you back in it.

"Uh..."

"Y/N you seem so loss for words today." He chuckles before taking the matters into his own hands. He leans in and grabs your hands before waltzing out of the ED and into the Chicago air with you in tow.

You let him drag you around until you've reached the food truck you always visit when on a break.

"Will we're not on a break." You try to fight him but he doesn't budge. Instead he orders the food, completely confident in his choice.

"Will how did you-" You ask him. He just ordered what you've been ordering since you started to work at Med.

"I don't get how you believed what Doris told you but at the same time I do," He ushures you to the side while you wait for your order to finish. "You're new and you didn't know that whatever Doris says is usually a bunch of crap. But also things with me and Natalie might seem fresh but they aren't, trust me."

You stuff your hands into your front pockets and listen to his words carefully. "Natalie and I are in the past. I don't want you to think that I've been unfaithful to her by spending time with you."

It did cross your mind. You decide to keep that detail to yourself for the time being.

"I like you Y/N." He confesses. "The more time I spend with you the more sure I am in my feelings...You're beautiful, smart and kind. And I think you're amazing because of that?"

"You're really serious about this?"

"I wouldn't be sneaking out with you during work hours if I wasn't."

Not knowing what to do with this sudden burst of joy and relief you decide to do what you do best. Give hugs.

Just like a high school girl whose crush just confessed to her, you swing your arms around Will's neck and pull him in a tight embrace.

All while thanking the starts for his and Natalie's departure as a couple. Whoops.

Once you pull away he asks you, "What do you say I give you a grand tour of Chicago? Tonight?"

"Yeah I'd like that. I'd like that very much Will."

MASTERLIST

#chicago med imagine #chicago med fanfiction #chicago med #will halstead imagine #will halstead #will halstead fanfiction #will halstead x reader

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fayeimara · 3 years

Text

Meant To Be Series || One For Every Billion

6. By My Side | Pt 1

- July 20th -

The park is as close to empty as it can be when your group arrives early in the morning. Since you've been staying with the Kageyamas, you drive up with Miwa and Tobio, meeting up with your mutual cousins, Ren and Shin, at the entrance to the park's hotel.

You've all made sure to capitalize on early access passes and are staying overnight to make the most of your time, so everyone drops off their things first before deciding what to do in the time you all have before the park opens to all regular pass holders.

The rest of you are just waiting on Miwa to meet you all back in the lobby from her room (she takes the longest, honestly) and you're pulling on the thigh-length sleeveless cardigan you grabbed to wear over your shorts and tank combo, when you finally hear her voice as she crosses from the elevator bay to your group by the doors.

"Okay kiddos, I'm off to the adults only section of this place so call me if you need anything. But try not to, you know?"

Well, Miwa is the eldest of the group here and you're sure she only came along because her best friend decided they could make a mini girls' vacation out of it and brought along her own younger siblings as an excuse.

Tobio looks a little frustrated when he replies, "Neesan, it's way to early in the morning to find a bar."

"Are you kidding me? Of course I'm not drinking. Yet. We're just going to the theme spa!" She happily exclaims, waving her hand in the air delicately, "So you know, try not to get lost or get hurt, because I don't want you interrupting some serious r and r."

Ren rolls his eyes at his cousins' interaction, as if he's any better. You're well aware he also already has plans to ditch the rest of your group when his friends arrive. Thankfully Shin interrupts before Tobio's easy temper is tripped.

"Hey let's hit up the new coaster! I want to see Tobi throw up!"

Okay, not helping. But you do want to try the new roller coaster, as well, you're a huge fan of any adrenaline inducing activities and there are only so many times you can try the ones back home before you're used to all the dips and twists. This new one is supposed to have the highest drop record internationally so far.

"Tobio you won't throw up, right?" You try to coax him to agreeing, "I think you'll enjoy it!"

He gives you a dry look as if to say, You didn't put any effort into that. So you shrug and decide to bribe him, "I'll buy you milk after."

He contemplates it for a moment before nodding. Success, as usual.

Miwa claps her hands together in excitement, "Perfect! Okay, so I've given Y/n the contacts for Eiko's sister and brothers. They're around here somewhere so please take some time to say hi. Tobio already knows Hikaru and Hiroshi so I'm sure you'll all get along great!"

Before any of you have time to respond, she's bounced off, presumptively towards the waterpark and spa area. Okay then, you turn back to your cousins with a big smile that only Shin returns, making him your favourite of the day. You're all for the deadpan look when you're bored or annoyed but you're actually so happy to be here, you love amusement parks.

"So... let's hit some coasters?"

"Yeah!" Surely, you can all guess who answers.

After spending about an hour hitting up several of the most popular rides and possibly traumatizing Tobio before the main rush of people arrive in the park, you get a buzz from your phone, sitting tight against your waist in an inner zippered pocket of your cardigan, with your cash and cards. It's really a pain to have to carry bags and even more so to have to stress about having it stolen so, being an avid coaster enthusiast, you like to keep your items simple on days like this.

Quickly moving out and to the side of the exit line to pull out your phone, you see a notification from Hana, the girl who is Miwa's friend's little sister.

, You look up and find your cousins also stopped when you @sakusasimpbot anding right by you. Thank god, you didn't want to have to drag them back here if they'd wandered away to the next ride.

"Hana and her brothers are on this ride so I told her we'd wait for them here."

Ren is typing on his phone but speaks up, "I'm about to head out to meet up with my friends." Finally finished with his own chat, he looks up at the rest of you, "Will you guys be okay from here? We can meet back for lunch."

Tobio just shrugs while you nod, Shin speaking for everyone when he tells his brother, "Yeah, yeah. Just go already, the 'real' adult already ditched us a while back so no need to act all mature here."

"Shut up, Shin." Ren returns his brother's smirk with a glare, which slides back into his expressionless gaze after he rolls his eyes and faces you and Tobio.

"We'll be fine, Ren, we're all in the same place and can call if anything." Your turn to reassure him where Shin clearly failed to even try.

Ren studies you for a moment before turning and throwing a casual, "..'kay." over his shoulder. You're sure you, Tobio, and Shin all share a mutual eye roll at that.

Shin has pulled up the park map on his phone, looking for a place where your group might want to grab a snack or drink, when the next line of people exit the ride.

Linking your arm with Tobio, you scan for a girl and two guys that look around your age. It's not hard because there really still aren't many people in this area of the park yet and the guys in question make an immediate beeline for the three of you when they lock eyes with Tobio. Right, since they know him already.

Hana is a pretty brunette with a bright smile on her face and you can immediately tell she's a fellow coaster enthusiast, if not adrenaline junkie, because of that wild happy look in her eyes.

Just as their group reaches yours, you smile back at her and say, "It's a really good one, right?"

"Yes!" She happily exclaims, "I felt like I was flying off the seat!"

You laugh at her enthusiasm, "Exactly, completely weightless."

Tobio introduces you and Shin to Hiroshi and Hikaru, who immediately tell you both to just call them Hiro and Karu. The two brothers have a relaxed vibe to them as well and, you swear, Karu and Shin click instantly. Not surprising, since they have a very similar outgoing and playful vibe, although you can attest from personal experience that Shin is probably the more mischievous and troublesome one. Karu has more of a happy and fun feel, if you're reading him correctly.

Hiro is equally nice and outgoing, with a slightly more chill personality that offsets Tobio's quiet intensity pretty well.

Hana is amazing and your first impression of her is only improved as you all sit down and talk over refreshing drinks at an outdoor café. She reminds you a lot of one of your friends back home, Aspen, in that down to earth and cheery kind of way so you immediately feel a sense of familiarity with her.

You find out that the siblings are each about a year apart, which coincidentally lines them up with Shin, you, and Tobio respectively. You had a feeling Miwa and her friend were pushing all of you to hang out here together for a reason. You definitely think she wanted her brother to spend time with a friend, especially after how tough things had been for him at school and with his club lately.

You look over at him when Hana briefly interjects into his and Hiro's conversation, completely relaxed for now with a bottle of cold milk in his hands. Yeah. He catches you looking and blinks in surprising, honestly shocking you when he returns your smile to him with a very small one of his own. You haven't seen him smile for quite a while, at least not the past several weeks you've been staying with his family. Probably not since the last time you saw him about a year and a half ago.

Oh, Tobio, you think as you look away to study the people passing by, I hope you're okay. He was always serious and direct, even as a little kid, but he never hesitated to smile when he felt happy. Does that mean he hasn't felt happy lately? For how long?

You have to shelf your concern away so you don't dampen the mood of this trip for everyone. Looking back to the others to make sure they're all finished up, you ask, "What do we want to do next?"

"None of us have tried these ones across the park," Shin speaks up, "So maybe make a circle this way back around?"

You catch Hana's disappointed expression just before she wipes it away and says, "I was hoping to try the new one, it's supposed to be exhilarating!"

"They already went on it, Hana." Karu gently replies but you shake your head and say, "Sure, but I loved it. I'd be really happy to go again!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! Why don't we split up? If the guys actually start from the other side of the circuit they planned, we should catch up to them in no time and group back up."

Karu and Hiro exchange looks and shrug, Karu stating, "I'm okay with that if you guys stick together and message us updates so we know you're safe and also don't miss each other as the park fills up more." He looks to your cousins and asks, "What about you guys? What do you think?"

Tobio's still looking at where you pointed out your plan of action on the map displayed from Shin's phone but it's really Shin who you have to make sure agrees. After all, Tobio is younger than you by a year, but Shin is older than you by that same length. Even though it's never something you think any of you typically consider, you remember the little incident last summer where he got chewed out by Ren and hope he's not decided to be a little more strict with you.

You catch him looking at you with a sardonic gleam in his eye and realize both your thoughts are probably very aligned. If he does decide to veto your idea, it won't be because he believes he needs to be strict, it'll be purely out of his innate need to torment you. Ugh.

"Okay," What? Ahh, now you're even more suspicious but it sounds like he's accepting your plan, "keep the sound on your phone high though, and call immediately if there's an emergency."

Yeah, sure, at this point you have a line of people who've told you to call them right away but if he hasn't considered that, you're not saying it.

So instead, you brightly agree, "Of course!" earning a doubtful look from him.

Oh well. You reach for Hana but she's already grabbing your hand instead and you both rush away to the new ride calling over your shoulder, "See you later!"

You both ignore whatever they call out after the two of you, giggling and debating where you want to sit on the ride instead.

"Y/n!" You hear a familiar voice call out your name in excitement just as you both reach the line up for the first ride and you feel butterflies take flight in your stomach, spreading electric tingles through you with the flutter of their delicate wings. Wow. Well, you know even before you turn around who it's going to be.

Prev | Next

Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Y/n and Toru can really dance around the things they really want to talk about, even when some things are called out directly by both...

-Y/n doesn't always catch herself calling him 'Toru' out loud (or over text even), clearly that's what she calls him in her head <3 but she usually is aware of what name she's using when she speaks it out loud, or she just avoids calling him directly at all

-But much like when she says 'I'm sorry Toru' in that 4th panel, it happens... she didn't realize it, it was just a heartfelt apology that she was trying to genuinely express

-She won't say she wasn't expecting him to ask to spend his birthday with her, even if they've messaged constantly for the past year

-Which is why she felt so bad when he reached out about it early in the month... and why she wasn't focused on how she addressed him... but then calls him Oikawa in the next panel

-He notices all the slips, whether he teases comments or not

-Tobio and roller coasters... :'D

A/N: Hmm, I wonder who this new person could be... lmao, hope you guys have liked part one so far, the ride only gets wilder from here ;)

Taglist: @delusivist, @prettyinblack231, @kac-chowsballs, @sakusasimpbot, @hawkthekinnie

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aricazorel · 3 years

Text

"How ticklish are you?" suggested by @ljandersen

pairing: Kaidan Alenko x Kori Reese (my OC); set during ME1; 2115 words

The Normandy was once again docked at a port for resupply. Only this time it wasn't some backwater planet. This time it was a popular tourist spot established by human private investors. With a limited Alliance presence, Avalon was the perfect haven for some less than reputable people. But at the moment it was a location for the SR1 crew’s shore leave.

Shore leave that Doctor Chakwas insisted the crew needed to take. A 24 hour layover at Avalon fit the bill with little to no argument from Shepard much to Kaidan’s surprise. Of course that left 24 hours of free time for the crew to get into mischief. He had a feeling Kori might be one of those who ended up on report if she wasn't properly entertained. But she wouldn't appreciate a keeper. Maybe she'd be okay with someone who was more than friends.

There wasn't exactly a label for what they were. Their relationship wasn't something they wanted to advertise. It wasn't even something that should have occurred. Fraternization regs. His own personal rules. Reese’s tendencies to be exceedingly private because of her past. All of that was supposed to work against them. Somehow it hadn't.

After something finagling the two lieutenants had managed to sneak off to enjoy a day of shore leave without any other crew members present. Applying his habit of being thorough in his duties to researching the Avalon colony, Kaidan had discovered a little used beach some ways from the spaceport. Convincing Reece to trust him, they rented a skycar and headed to the beach. Slightly cooler temperature wise than the more popular beaches near the spaceport, it reminded him of the ones he visited near Vancouver on Earth in his youth.

Of course the first thing Reese had commented on was the temperature. How much cooler it was then at the spaceport, and he knew she hated being cold. He grinned at her as he casually took off his blue Alliance hoodie.

“Want to borrow this?” He offered nonchalantly. He'd worn it over his T-shirt having been prepared for the temperature. He suggested she take one as well, but Reese did as she wanted.

The younger Lieutenant glared at him as she snatched the hoodie from his hand and put it on. “You did this on purpose.”

“Me?” He said innocently, pointing at himself. “I suggested that you should bring one.”

“You didn't tell me why,” she accused as she pulled the too-long sleeves of the borrowed hoodie up to her elbows.

“You're a smart person. I thought you could figure it out,” Kaidan replied with a smirk as he began walking down the beach away from the skycar.

“Ass,” Reese grumbled as he stopped to glance back at her

Extending a hand behind him he said, “Don't be that way, Kori. I thought this could be …something just for us.”

“Just for us?” She echoed as she walked up to him, staring at his offered hand.

“Well yeah,” Alenko replied shyly. “I mean with everything else we've …done, I thought some time together off the ship would be nice …kind of like a date.”

“A date?” She repeated uncertainly.

Kaden nodded. “Maybe we aren't there yet but –“

“We shagged like rabbits in the back of the Mako, Kaidan,” Reese pointed out smugly.

Alenko arched an eyebrow as a satisfied grin spread across his face. “We did, didn't we?”

“Really? You are going to be smug –“

She was cut off when he took her hand and pulled her to his side. “Can we please just take a walk along this beach which reminds me at home and pretend we …could be a normal couple?”

His whiskey-colored eyes pleaded with her to indulge him this one time. He was well aware Reese thought he was a romantic at heart, a sentiment shared by Ashley. He had already gone way over the line concerning keeping things strictly professional with Reese anyhow. Walking down a remote beach acting as if they weren't on a life-or-death mission for a few hours wouldn’t do much more damage if anyone found out. At least it was more explainable than the Mako.

“I --we can do that,” Reese agreed as she slowly slid an arm around his waist.

Kaidan grinned as he mimicked her action with his arm around her shoulders. They walked in silence for a few minutes, listening to the waves gently crash against the shore. The sun shone brightly overhead as a cloud or two moved in front of it occasionally. It was comforting to just spend time with someone he cared about without any expectations. It was nice to be somewhere that reminded him of home. It was just nice to be with Reese.

“This beach reminds you of home?” The younger tech’s voice called up to him. Alenko glanced down to see grey eyes looking back at him with a curious expression.

“Well yeah. Even the temperature. Vancouver is along the coast, remember? My parents have some land in the countryside,” he explained. “We used to go whenever we could, not just in the to swim. Sometimes just to take a walk.”

“A beach is supposed to be warm,” Reese insisted.

“And how would you know?”

“Just 'cause I was a colony kid doesn't mean I've never been to a beach,” she answered indignantly. “Moirae was like Georgia. One of the reasons my parents chose it for colonization and terraforming …Georgia has beaches too.”

“That doesn't mean you've been to a beach. That's just show that you know what one is,” Kaidan observed with a teasing grin.

“Alenko –“

He kissed her quickly. “I'm teasing, Kori.”

She huffed as she said, “My grandma used to talk take us swimming during the summer. Trying to help me feel normal while learning how to cope with my biotics.”

“That's cool,” Alenko commented, using 20th century slang that both annoyed and endeared him to her more.

“Actually it was hot,” Reese said with a wink.

Kaidan chuckled as he hugged her to his side. “And that is why you hate being cold and why you have a stash of blankets in your bunk I suppose.”

“Do not mock the stash of blankets,” Reese said seriously. “They have kept me from climbing into your bunk. You're warm.”

Alenko shook his head. “I should thank the blanket stash for keeping us out of trouble then. As nice as it might be to go to sleep with you in my arms. “

“Are you getting all mushy on me, Alenko?”

“Maybe just a little. No one else is around so …”

Reese shook her head as they continued to walk down the deserted beach. “I haven't walked a beach in quite a while.”

Kaidan grinned, glad that his idea had been a good one. “Did you ever just take walks along the beach on Moirae?”

The Lieutenant regretted the question as soon as the words left his mouth. He stopped in his tracks and looked at her. “Kori, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to –“

“You probably don't know but colony kids have dances in high school. Just like you Earthborn kids do,” Reese interjected, ignoring his attempt to apologize. She went on as she gazed out at the ocean. “Granted my high school wasn't that big but we managed to still have dances. Our junior prom was supposed to be on the beach. Everyone was excited. It was going to be my first formal. I even had a dress picked out. No date of course but a few of us girls were just gonna go together in a group.

Kaidan watched as she paused, a wistful look on her face. She rarely talked about Moirae. She was more apt to talk about her time in Georgia but to be truthful she didn't often talk about her past at all. He probably knew more than anyone else on the SR-1 but even that was a smattering of whatever she let slip when her guard was down.

“The short version is that it didn't happen, and I never got to attend a formal dance,” the tech concluded with a shrug of the shoulders.

She began to walk again but was stopped by Kaidan’s hand on her arm. “You don't have to act like it isn't a big deal.”

“But that's just it. Missing a prom isn't a big deal. It was just a stupid dance.”

“Maybe but it was more to you. It was something you were looking forward to, something I think you were actually excited about,” Kaidan said as he brought her back to him. “I know the destruction of your colony took away your family and your home, but it also took away experiences that you could have had. Things you should have had. You can't get the exact experience back but maybe when this mission is over we can try to make up for that in some small way.”

“You mean arrange for me to go to prom?”

“Well no, not exactly, but definitely something requiring formal attire. A dress.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Now you just want to see me in a dress.”

“I’ve seen you in less,” he pointed out as he placed his hands on her hips.

As he absentmindedly made lazy circles with his thumbs, she huffed. “So that is where your mind is, techboy.”

“I think I’m allowed,” he replied as he noticed her beginning to fidget. Frowning he asked, “Something wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nope.”

Not convinced he stopped his ministrations and watched her fidgeting cease. An idea began to form as a wicked grin spread across his face. He lightly caressed her hips again but this time working his way up the side of her ribcage. She wiggled and began giggling.

“Alenko! Stop!”

As she backed away, he stared at hie wide eyed. “Kori, how ticklish are you?”

“That is need to know information and you, Lt. Alenko, don’t need to know,” she replied holding her hands up in front of her as a makeshift barrier.

“Oh, but I think I do need to know, Lt. Reese,” he countered as he began walking towards her with purpose.

“Aw, hell no!” she yelled as she began running from him.

He laughed as the tech began sprinting back towards the skycar. He gave pursuit, sorely tempted to use his biotics to halt her retreat. But that would be cheating, and Reese would definitely not like that. In the end he settled for catching up with her and tackling her.

She let out a shriek as they fell unceremoniously to the sandy ground. Kaidan gave a roar of laughter as he declared, “Got ‘cha!”

With Reese already struggling to escape, he immediately began to tickle her again, determined to discover just how ticklish she was. Her laughter was music to his ears as they rolled along the beach. He’d only rarely heard her giggle let alone laugh as if nothing could stop her. As she twisted and turned underneath him, he discovered to his delight she was very ticklish nearly everywhere.

The wheels in Alenko’s head began turning as he stopped tickling her. That weakness was definitely something he could exploit later. Grey eyes looked at him as tears of laughter slide down her cheeks. He leaned down and kissed her sweetly.

As she hummed her contentment Kaidan murmured against her lips. “Take shore leave with me after this mission.”

Reese pulled back just a bit as she said, “You’re serious?”

Kaidan nodded even though he was surprised as she was that he had uttered the words to begin with. She blinked and cupped his cheek. “You’re serious enough about us you’d want to see more of me after this mission…oryou just want to tickle me some more?”

Alenko grinned. “Maybe it’s both. And maybe I can find more places where you are ticklish…Ones I need to remove certain articles of clothing to discover…”

“Are you coming onto me, Alenko?”

Kaidan smirked. “I thought I was already on you, Reese.”

The tech rolled her eyes as he leaned down and kissed her again. “Will you?”

Reese made an amused sound before asking, “If I say yes, are you going to stop kissing me?”

“No.”

“Then yes.”

Kaidan grinned as he kept his word and continued kissing the Lt. Happy to have something to look forward to and happy that thing involved Reese. Happy to know she looked forward to it as well. As the waves crashed around them, he was once again reminded of home and how Kori now felt like that to him. And that he would never regret it. Ever.

#trilogyappreciationweek #mass effect #kaidan alenko #kori reese #kaidan x female original character #broken road

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tiriansjewel · 3 years

Text

find it here on Spotify!

lyric explanations below the cut! (click images for better quality)

1. The 1 by Taylor Swift

“But it would've been fun

If you would've been the one”

As we start the playlist, Luke and Alex are taking a wistful look back on their relationship in the 90s now that they’ve moved on to other people.

2. Coming Clean by Green Day

“Seventeen and strung out on confusion

Trapped inside a roll of disillusion

I found out what it takes to be a man

Now mom and dad will never understand”

Back in the 90s, both Luke and Alex are coming to terms with their sexualities.

3. Smells Like Teen Spirit

“With the lights out, it's less dangerous

Here we are now, entertain us”

Sunset Curve were working towards popularity right at the height of the grunge scene, and I would assume that both Luke and Alex heard quite a bit of this song as teenagers.

4. Now or Never by Sunset Curve

“Keep dreaming like we'll live forever

But live it like it's now or never”

How could I not include Sunset Curve’s own song? They like living in the moment, and that includes their love lives.

5. Everlong by the Foo Fighters

“And I wonder

If everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you

You've got to promise not to stop when I say when”

When you go through adolescence, you crave intimacy with other people. This song exemplifies what Luke and Alex want from each other- to be able to feel, and to be able to experience those feelings on a deeper level.

6. Ocean Size by Jane’s Addiction

“Wish I was ocean size

They cannot move you, man

No one tries

No one pulls you

Out from your hole

Like a tooth aching a jawbone”

Jane’s Addiction was another LA rock band of this time period, and these lyrics about wanting to be powerful like the ocean and having to leave your home really remind me of Luke.

7. All Apologies by Nirvana

“What else should I be?

All apologies

What else should I say?

Everyone is gay”

This song is Kurt Cobain ironically apologizing for his cynical attitude, including the line “everyone is gay” to mock homophobes. It reminds me of Alex- he doesn’t want to be “married and buried”; he is rebelling against his parents’ definition of a correct lifestyle.

8. Freaking Out The Neighborhood by Max DeMarco

“And I know it's no fun

When your first son

Gets up to no good

Starts freaking out the neighborhood”

Emily Patterson and Alex’s mom were probably both pretty appalled by their sons effectively joining the counterculture. At this point, both Luke and Alex are starting to express themselves more, comfortable in who they are and what they want.

9. Hangout With You by Diners

“All I want

Is to talk with you now

And I know that you've got time

You are constantly on my mind

Yes I know that you've got time

To hang out with me

Tonight”

Luke has begun to realize that he likes Alex, and in true Luke fashion, can’t stop thinking about it.

10. Affection by Between Friends

“I'm laying on the floor

We're drinking 'cause we're bored

Oh, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places

And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces”

One night, it all comes out- their feelings and desires- and they decide to begin some kind of friends with benefits type of situation. This song feels like it’s from Luke’s perspective to me.

11. gold rush by Taylor Swift

“What must it be like

To grow up that beautiful?

With your hair falling into place like dominos

I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors

With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door

At dinner parties

I call you out on your contrarian shit

And the coastal town

We wandered 'round had never

Seen a love as pure as it

And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea

'Cause you know it could never be”

Luke is a magnetic person, attracting everyone, and Alex finds him beautiful. He is in awe of him, but he’s also scared about having feelings he doesn’t know how to handle. This song kind of shows Alex’s internal monologue.

12. Can We Kiss Forever? by Kina

“I tried to reach you, I can't hide

How strong's the feeling when we dive

I crossed the ocean of my mind

My wounds are healing with the salt

All my senses intensified

Whenever you and I, we dive”

This song describes their first kiss, obscured from the world, in my mind. Plus, there’s ocean metaphors. You can’t go wrong with that.

13. 18 by Anarbor

“So if you wanna piss off your parents

Date me to scare them

Show them you're all grown up

If long hair and tattoos are what attract you

Baby, then you're in luck

And I know it's just a phase

You're not in love with me

You wanna piss off your parents, baby

That's alright with me”

Luke knows Alex isn’t in love with him, but they both want to try new things. Bonus points for this song having references to frayed parent-child relationships.

14. Boys Will Be Boys by Miles McKenna

“That graduation day, it never came for you and me

Couple drop-out kids, a shotgun wedding's all we need

Sorry, Mom, Sorry, Dad

Better luck next time

A couple packs a day, pierced nose and tattoos on our legs

No strangers to pretend, we've always been too proud to beg

Sorry, Mom, Sorry, Dad

Better luck next time

Boys will be boys”

This song referencing a “couple of drop out kids” just going with the flow made me think of how Sunset Curve probably never would have finished high school.

15. Just Like You by Three Days Grace

“You thought you were there to guide me, you were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

I could be mean

I could be angry

You know I could be just like you.”

Both Luke and Alex have tons of resentment for their parents, obviously.

16. Sunstroke by Less Than Jake

“We've all been living proof

That time won't wait or choose

We know it ticks on without me and you

And I can't have both sides

Letting go or holding tight

I'm burning bright tonight”

This song about being stubborn and time not waiting really reminded me of Luke, plus the foreshadowing of them becoming ghosts and adapting to a whole new world.

17. Saint Bernard by Lincoln

“Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you

But he's got his own things to deal with

There's really just one thing that we have in common

Neither of us will be missed”

This song just made me think about Alex and his Catholic guilt.

18. Bedroom Hymns by Florence and the Machine

“This is a good a place to fall as any

We'll build our altar here

Make me your Maria

I'm already on my knees

You had Jesus on your breath

And I caught Him in mine

Sweating out confessions

The undone and the divine

This is his body, this is his love

Such selfish prayers and I can't get enough, oh”

Part 2 of Alex and his Catholic guilt. Their relationship has become more carnal, and this song maybe gives a little of Alex’s perspective into that time.

19. Church by Fall Out Boy

“And if death is the last appointment

Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room

I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom

If you were church, yeah

I'd get on my knees”

Here ends the trilogy of songs with religious references. This song is heady and sensual and also includes some nice foreshadowing of their deaths.

20. Bros by Wolf Alice

“Shake your hair, have some fun

Forget our mothers and past lovers, forget everyone

Oh, I'm so lucky, you are my best friend

Oh, there's no one, there's no one who knows me like you do

Are your lights still on?

I'll keep you safe

If you keep me strong”

Here’s another song from Luke’s perspective- talking about forgetting mothers, being best friends, and keeping Alex safe, as long as Alex keeps him strong.

21. Slip Away by Perfume Genius

“Don't look back, I want to break free

If you'll never see 'em coming You'll never have to hide

Take my hand, take my everything

If we only got a moment

Give it to me now

They'll never break the shape we take

Baby, let all them voices slip away”

Alex struggles with losing his family over his sexuality, and Luke helps him through it.

22. Make Out In My Car by Sufjan Stevens

“I'm not trying to

Go to bed with you

I just wanna make out in my car

And though I'm dying to

Fall in love with you

I just wanna make out in my car”

Another great song about just wanting to exist with someone, about wanting touch and feel and create. They don’t want to fall in love, they just want to be.

23. I Exist I Exist I Exist by Flatsound

“I remember the way you shook

Its a shame that we're not soul mates

Because if i didn't know better

I'd say this feels pretty good

How could i be scared?

When i stretch and feel that you're there

So shut your mouth

Because these words will speak themselves

I can feel them in these blankets

And they're surrounding your figure

Embraced in the quilts

And i cant help but think

You're my missing puzzle piece”

This song is so beautiful- with references to helping a partner through anxiety, and being just like ones mother... a lot of this dynamic in my mind is Luke and Alex reminding each other that they exist, that life is wide and bright, that they’re alive. This gives a window into Luke’s inner feelings as well.

24. Come on, Mess Me Up by Cub Sport

“I found comfort, I fell in love with avoiding problems

But I want this, you know I want this

So come on, mess me up

And you can break me, if you'll still take me

Ruin me, if you'll let me be one of the ones you say you won't forget”

At some point, they become more reckless about their feelings, a little less level headed about their arrangement. Intimacy is an escape.

25. Please Never Fall In Love Again by Ollie MN

“This is what it's like to be lovers

You and me need never be lonely again

Spin with me endlessly or at least until the end

Please never fall in love again”

As usually happens with these arrangements, feelings are caught. Luke and Alex consider making things more serious.

26. Can I Call You Tonight? by Dayglow

“Batteries drain, I get the memo

I think that I might have to let you go

So can I call you tonight?

I'm trying to make up my mind

Just how I feel

Could you tell me what's real?”

The end of their relationship is near, and Alex is unsure. You can decide if this takes place before or after they die.

27. Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

“I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't wanna fall in love with you”

Eventually these relationships all start to feel like games, don’t they?

28. Perfect by The Smashing Pumpkins

“So far I still know who you are

But now I wonder who I was

Angel, you know it's not the end

We'll always be good friends”

Another song about the end of a relationship, and finding yourself again. There’s a bit of resentment there, but they are learning to be friends again.

29. Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy

“Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight

Let the fire breathe me back to life

Baby you were my picket fence

I miss missing you, now and then”

They’ve gotten over each other and become friends again, but are still nostalgic for the past. Bonus points for references about coming back to life.

30. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day

“For what it's worth

It was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable

But in the end it's right

I hope you had the time of your life”

Ah yes, the song everyone uses to commemorate bittersweet ends- it’s the perfect clincher for this playlist.

I hope you all enjoy listening!

#julie and the phantoms #lalex #jatp #luke patterson #alex mercer #jatp playlist #luke/alex #playlist #my edit

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fydream · 4 years

Text

Almost an entire week of school goes by without any form of communication Hyuck. You didn't really expect to see him in the morning before school started so you planned on talking to him during lunch, the day after Chenle texted you. But when you saw Chenle and Renjun sitting together, without the missing boy you knew something was up.

The start of your day was a little awkward. You expected Jeno to actually have a conversation with you during history but he was too caught up doing god knows what on his phone to even realize you were trying to talk to him. "So the boy does have his priorities then.." You thought to yourself. "I wonder if he knows anything I should know."

At the end of the class you decided against asking Jeno, because maybe, just maybe it was a little too early to be asking such questions that would possibly just make things worser than they needed to be. Instead you decided to go on your day in hopes that Donghyuck would contact you in any form.

It was only until your last class of the day when you finally got something. An email, from no one but Lee Donghyuck himself. Confused, on why he would send you something so late in the day you decide to open it. Upon opening the email you read:

Welcome!

Club representative Lee Donghyuck here!

Are you tired of the heartbreak, lies, and untrustworthy relationships in your life? Have you been cheated on one too many times? Then this is the place for you! Welcome to the DNYL Club here at NCT High! Where the heartbreakers become the heartbreakees!

Interested in joining us? Great! You’ll just have to follow a few rules.

rule #1: you’ve got to have fun.

rule #2: always look your best, we don’t want anyone to catch you slipping now, do we?

and lastly, rule #3: don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, unless you want to end up like one of them.

so, will you join us?

Rereading the email over you notice the same four letters on your notebook being mentioned once again, even more confused you check to see who it was sent to, turns out it was sent to just you.

"What the fuck?" You thought to yourself. "All of a sudden Chenle tells me things are going on and Hyuck thinks that instead of explaining things he should send a cryptic email instead.."

The bell rings, snapping you out of your thoughts. You blink twice before looking back at the email that you had opened on on your phone, then back up at your classroom where your classmate seemed to be leaving.

"What the fuck happened?"

Walking out of the now empty classroom to the student parking lot you find yourself in the backseat of Renjun's car. You asked him for a ride to Hyuck's house because you didn't feel like walking all the way over there, plus you decided that the company would be nice. He accepted your request as you told him you were going to check up on Donghyuck and that he and Chenle should come as well

The car ride from school to the Donghyuck's place is mostly quiet with the background noise of the car’s fan and Chenle’s giggles due to him watching some sort of video on his phone. It stays like this for a few minutes before you decide to break it.

"Renjun?" You ask, looking at him through his rear view mirror.

"Yeah?"

"Uh- Hyuck um, sent me this email last period.." You start, and Rejun suddenly hits the breaks in his car, giving both you and Chenle a scare. "I- Sorry." He apologizes. "You can conintinue."

"Um.. Okay.. Well it was about how DNYL was a club at our school?? I recognized the letters from the journal you guys gave me, oh and um- why is it about heartbreakers?? Is this something related to Jeno?" You ask quickly, now getting Chenle's attention as well.

"You'll find out soon enough, y/n." Renjun sighs, parking his car along the sidewalk. "We're here anyways, Hyuck might as well do the explaining himself." He mumbles.

With the three of you exiting Renjun's car, Chenle runs up to the front door to ring the doorbell. Upon ringing the doorbell, no one but Donghyuck himself opens the door, clearly surprised to see the three of you here. "What are you doing here?" He asks as if he were confused on what he did to get all of you to show up at his house.

"You've got a lot of explaining to do." You say pushing past the two boys once you see the door open to reveal your best friend. "What the fuck was that email about? Also who the fuck still emails people?"

"What email?" Donghyuck asks, taken back at the sudden aggressiveness.

"This one?" You say, shoving your phone towards him.

"Oh.. That one." He sighs. "I didn't expect you to ask so soon."

“Why?”

“I thought you might wanted to think about it before asking.”

“Well, clearly I’m here now. Along with your other two friends, and I suggest you tell me if you’re going to explain anything or not so I can leave if you aren’t.” You scoff harshly, getting ready to leave if he did happen to say no.

Donghyuck sighs.

"Come in then, all of you."

"I guess I should just start from the top then, huh?" Donghyuck starts, laughing nervously, earning a glare from you. "So, if you didn't already know.. Lee Jeno, the boy in your history class? Well, He and I dated, for a while in fact.. and well.. it didn't end well." He pauses for a second, and before he can speak again you cut him off.

"Is that it?" You ask a little too harshly, "You see me and your ex, who I didn't even know you dated hang out, and then all of a sudden you don't show up to school, ignore my texts, and just send me a cryptic email? Really?"

"No.. That's not all."

"The reason why we broke up was because I found out one of his friends, who I'm assuming you already met, Park Jisung, dared him to ask me out." He says quietly. "And I guess they found me acting like a fool in love was entertaining.." "Oh." You whisper, feeling guilty that you just snapped at him. "I'm sorry... I didn't know and I shouldn't have assumed.."

"No it's fine. We broke up last June after school ended, so, almost three months ago." He sighs. "I should've known too.. I was warned. One of my upperclassman friends, Mark Lee, warned me about them and I still went on and dated Jeno.. I guess love really is blind then, huh?" He jokes.

"Well.. anyways, Mark was part of the DNYL club also known as the 'Don't Need Your Love' club and when he graduated he made me president. He told me the same stories that his older friends experienced and he saw the difference between the two groups grow. They would continue breaking hearts, and we'd continue trying to get back at them.. but as the years went on we started losing more people."

"So many people quit after all the upperclassmen graduated.. I still don't understand why.." Renjun explained. "The whole concept of the club was just to get back at those who hurt us, in a way that they would understand."

"People have said it's just because the three of them would make you feel so special, when in reality you were just a pawn in their games." Chenle added. "And I guess Hyuck getting his heart broken by Jeno was enough for everyone to quit."

"So.. Who's in the club now?" You ask, trying to keep up with all the information being given to you. Honestly, you didn't expect to learn everything all at once, all you wanted to know was what that email was about, you never expected it to be because of your new so called "friends."

"You're looking at them." Chenle jokes.

"You're fucking kidding."

"There's nothing to kid about y/n."

"Why'd they quit?" You ask.

"Like I said. I guess Hyuck's downfall was just too much." Chenle shrugs. "To be fair, we haven't done anything either. The most we've done so far is cut off ties with Jeno, Jisung, and their friend Jaemin. We're not taking any chances."

"I see.." You sigh. "Okay but what does any of this have to do with me?" You ask.

"Well.. You see.." Donghyuck starts. "We were wondering if you would like to help us out." He says an innocent smile suddenly appearing.

"What?!" You exclaim. "You want me to do what now?!"

"Help us out." Renjun adds with a nod. "You don't have to do anything extreme, we just want them to go through the same pain we did." "Isn't that um.. morally wrong?"

"What? Leading them on just to crush their hearts afterwards?" Donghyuck asks in that playful voice he always uses.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Only if you're looking at it that way." He says smiling. "We're just teaching them a lesson."

"So are you in?" Renjun asks.

Trying to process all the information that had just been given to you, you decide to think about what to do. "So basically. You want me to help you get back at your ex and his friends because they're assholes to not only you, but other people as well. And you think the most sane way to do that is to do the same thing they did to you, to them."

"Yeah pretty much."

"No!"

"C'monn!!!" Chenle whines. "It'll be fun!!"

"Yeah for you! Not me!" You exclaim. "What happens if I end up getting played then, hm?"

"You won't." Renjun defends. "We'll be here for you, plus, considering all that time Hyuck and Jeno spent together we could probably tell you what to do."

"That still doesn't make up for the fact that you're doing the same thing they did." You argue back.

"Well what I've learned is, is that they won't stop until one of them experiences it." Donghyuck retorts. "I know I haven't told you everything but you just need to trust me on this one. They don't care about anyone but themselves." Donghyuck says sincerely, thinking about what Jeno had told him the other night. "Please."

This is the most vulnerable you've seen Donghyuck in a while, and part of you can't tell if this is genuine or if this is just a way for him to get what he wants.

"Okay." You sigh, while the three boys cheer. "But on one condition."

"Of course there's a catch." Donghyuck jokes, rolling his eyes.

"You have to at least talk to Jeno again." "Are you fucking insane?!" Donghyuck asks. "There's no way in hell I'm talking to that bastard, you do not know the hell he put me through."

"And he doesn't know the hell you're about to put him through." You defend. "I never said you had to like him, I just said you have to talk."

"So do we have a deal?"

He sighs.

"We have a deal."

A few days later you were meeting up with Donghyuck at his house where he would be telling you what to do. Currently you were laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling in Donghyuck's bedroom.

"Am I really going to do this?" You think to yourself.

"This is your target." Donghyuck says, handing you his phone with a certain someone's instagram pulled up.

"Target?"

"That's just what we would call them." Donghyuck shrugs. "This is Park Jisung. I'm sure you've already met him."

"I thought you were mad at Jeno." You say scrolling through the boy's feed. "Why am I going after Jisung?"

"He's the one who asked the dare."

"And I guess I was thinking about what you said. As much as I hate Jeno, I don't think I could do that to him.." He adds quietly.

To his luck, you weren't listening. You were too caught up in stalking Jisung's instagram to even notice that Hyuck was still talking to you. "Sorry, what? Did you say something?" You ask, handing his phone back to him.

"Hmm? Oh, it was nothing."

"So why Jisung?" You ask again.

"You're perfect for him." Donghyuck bluntly states. "The new girl who just moved to town, who also happens to be a sweetheart and a smartass? I don't know about you, but if I were in his position I'd definitely try to shoot my shot, especially if no one knew anything about me." He shrugs.

"He's always goes for the 'soft-innocent' types. The ones that would pretty much never expect it." He adds. "Like I said, he's an asshole."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"I dunno. Break his heart? Crush his hopes and dreams?"

"Donghyuck, seriously." You scold.

"You're no fun." He pouts. "All you have to do is get the boy to fall for you, then break his heart before he can break yours."

"Y'know that sounds a lot easier said than done.." You mumble. "How do you even know that I'll be able to do it?"

"You're the new girl, right? He barely knows anything about you, he can only assume based off of your social media and how you act in class."

"Okay and? What is that supposed to mean?" "It means he wouldn't know if you were putting up an act or not. You'll be fine, you just need to watch out for yourself."

"Okay now what is that supposed to mean?" You ask, wondering if it's too late to back out now.

"Don't catch feelings." He shrugs. "If you find yourself catching feelings for Park Jisung then you need to tell one of us right away. I'm sorry y/n, but as much as I love you I can't put you through that hell."

"So are you up for the challenge?" He asks.

You sigh before sitting up to look at him. "Let's do it."

✰ how to be a heartbreaker

↳ so what happens when park jisung, the school’s infamous fuckboy runs into the new girl at school? out of boredom he decides it’ll be fun to have someone new to play with, but little does he know, she’s learning how to be a heartbreaker.

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