yknow gsaslau is really fun like god gets friends and ends up not liking their job but they have to keep at it because another god's gonna take their place anyway and the cycle is neverending until they find out how to stop it properly by hoping their other half is pure hearted enough to gather the collective's unconscious will to wish for a brighter future rather than killing themselves by wishing so selfishly for a life of lies. then they kill themself with the same corrupt desires in sacrifice so that said other half can start fresh and become her own whole.

throughout their existence they learn so much things and thus absolutely dread their past for being such a heartless being not having been able to share their love to those they can't come near to anymore and that this stupid game never would've begun in the first place although it's not entirely their fault due to the circumstances of their birth being affected by so many unconsciously selfish and careless individuals that make up the majority that manages to affect them in the first place.

starting off so rigid and technical and practical and with cold idealism—if you could even call it that—playing a role they never thought they would've become so attached to that they become the role itself and thus lose sense of self entirely. who is god. who is this mortal meant to be forgotten. the true individual that was meant to die a lonely death as a character in a novel whose pages were ripped out and tossed into a fire never to be remembered or known in the first place.

why continue this game. why start this game. why become close to these people you're hurting. don't you know guilt. don't you know shame. you have no body. you have no life. and if you do throw it away. you were never supposed to have one. you're face isn't yours. your name isn't yours. it belongs to the people that built you in the first place. the people you're meant to serve when you're giving them nothing at all.

you are hollow. you are finite. you are nothing.

𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐡𝐨 ⚡︎ “𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒕”

☆ summary: rumors cause a rift between you and your boyfriend. can you find an answer before things get too intense?

❑ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 { ☁️ anon ♥︎ }

☆ genre/s: angst, a bit of fluff, established relationship, high school!au, boyfriend!minho x reader, feat. best friend!hyunjin, bully!chan (I’M SORRY), + songwriter!changbin for like 2 secs

☆ warnings: swearing, mentions of anxiety, physical violence, blood, [ this isn’t really a warning but y/n is lowkey a bad*ss so… go u ], toxic masculinity...?

☆ one-shot, 4.5k words

☆ a/n: i hope y’all enjoy this one! especially you, lovely ☁️ anon <33 it’s a bit intense but who would i be if i didn’t get carried away?? (p.s. i’m sorry this took so long!)

☆ tags: @magglesx

｡･ﾟﾟ･ ⚡︎ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

minho had been distant for a few days and you couldn’t really tell why. as far as you knew, you hadn’t done anything to upset him. in fact, the week before, you planned your first date in a while and made sure it was extra special due to the busy school schedules that tended to keep you apart. of course, the date included going you paying for the meal at your shared favorite restaurant on the nicer side of town, as well as coming back to your house for some much needed cuddle time. he may not seem like it from the outside, but your boyfriend was a major cuddle bug.

yet, suddenly, you felt as though he was avoiding you.

your boyfriend was normally a little hesitant to flirt with you or initiate pda at school, which you completely understood. he had a pretty edgy image and was known as the sarcastic, rebellious friend in your friend group. therefore, he loved his intimidating demeanor and he did whatever he could to keep it up.

but this was different.

whenever you’d text him, he would take longer to reply and the texts would be drier than ever before. one word answers became the norm, with the occasional addition of an “lol”. and he completely stopped answering your calls. deciding to give him some space, you stopped trying.

even minho’s friends seemed to be avoiding you. for instance, you stumbled across changbin in the library during your free period one day. he was sitting on the floor in one of the back aisles of books, scrolling on his phone. you assumed he was hiding out there discreetly so as to not get caught on his phone. you sat beside him with a giggle.

“you know, i never pictured you as a bookworm,” you softly teased him. changbin let out a faint chuckle, not bothering to look you in the eye and instead concentrating on whatever he was working on. disregarding his odd reaction, you asked, “what’s so important you can’t wait until lunch to see it?”

“i’m writing,” he responded dryly. changbin was the most esteemed songwriter at your school. everyone knew he wrote songs for himself and other people, and whenever he was free, he’d be writing.

“...would you like to share any?” you asked, peeking at his screen. he normally wasn’t hesitant to share his lyrics and you always enjoyed hearing his poetic inner thoughts.

“um… not today.” he glanced up at you for a split second before going back to his phone. he even went so far as to tilt the screen away from you. at this point, you became hyperaware of the fact that you had done something wrong. was i being too nosy? you asked yourself. “sorry,” he continued.

you looked down at your lap, in which you awkwardly picked at the skin on your fingers. “it’s ok, i get it. i bet they’re great though,” you offered bleakly, trying to remain supportive of your friend despite how annoying you must have been. that was definitely not what you needed after beginning to feel your boyfriend drifting away from you. first minho, and now your friends?

“thanks,” changbin replied coldly. and with that the bell rang. you could have sworn changbin seemed thankful for the end of the period, as he picked up his bag and locked his phone as soon as the bell sounded. with a bleak wave and sideways glance, he was off. and there you were, sitting on the floor of the library, alone. and confused.

｡･ﾟﾟ･ ⚡︎ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

it was a chilly wednesday morning in november. the past few days had been a bit torturous without your boyfriend’s usual sneaky expressions of affection. you were in math class, seated cozily in the back of the classroom next to hyunjin, another mutual friend of yours and your boyfriend’s. the desks were arranged in pairs and you and hyunjin had no other friends in the class, which led to the two of you becoming close during the past few months. yet, you still hadn’t told him about what was troubling you. while the teacher was answering questions about your homework assignment from the night before, you decided to talk to hyunjin about minho.

“jinnie,” you whispered as your friend kept his head down, his brow furrowing at the problems on his page.

“not right now, y/n. i’m trying to work.” just like changbin the other day, hyunjin kept looking at the page in front of him with a sense of irritation.

you looked down at his paper and then at the problems scrawled across the blackboard at the front of the room. “but you got all of them right,” you countered.

“...okay, fine. what’s up?” he whispered back to you, finally looking you in the eye with an exasperated expression. now, hyunjin was a known drama king. he had his occasional grumpy moments, especially during your morning class, but he never looked at you with the expression he did in that moment. it was a mixture of irritation and passive aggression, as he attempted to keep a straight face.

disregarding hyunjin’s obvious shift in tone from other days, you decided to be straight forward and asked him, “has minho been acting off lately? he’s not responding to any of my messages and i barely see him in the halls anymore.”

“he’s…” hyunjin squinted a bit, feeling around in his mind for the right words to say. “he’s probably just going through something. give him some space for a little while.”

you chuckle, rolling your eyes. “that’ll be easy. he’s avoiding me like the plague.”

“really?”

you were surprised at hyunjin’s disbelief, as he was making it seem like he knew what was wrong with minho. “yes,” you said in what still felt like a whisper but really wasn’t.

“miss y/l/n,” your teacher reprimanded from the front of the room.

“my apologies,” you said bleakly with a hint of sarcasm. minho’s antics were really starting to get to your head. thankfully, your teacher disregarded your tone.

once the teacher resumed instruction, hyunjin turned back to you. “have you heard… the rumors?”

“what rumors?” you replied, quieter than before. “about me?”

he paused, confused. “you seriously haven’t heard?”

“hyunjin; you, minho, and the rest of the guys are my only friends. unless any of you told me, i know nothing.”

the blonde boy looked back down at his paper, still just as puzzled.

“what rumors are you talking about?”

slightly cutting you off, your teacher called your name once again, with more force.

soon thereafter, the bell rang and hyunjin left before you got the chance to question him further.

you couldn’t help but feel guilty. for what? you weren’t sure. but something bad was going on in your boyfriend’s life and you couldn’t do anything about it. and even his friends, who were equally as close to you, must have known what was bothering him.

so why couldn’t he confide in you?

a day passed and you were more sure than ever that everybody except hyunjin was avoiding you. what made things worse was whenever you’d pass minho in the halls and he’d shrug you off like he barely even knew you. he’d either become vague or walk away after giving you a short response. at this point, any and all forms of affection had become nonexistent.

whenever you entered a crowded hall, people you didn’t even know gave you odd looks. and, it would become more frequent whenever you were with minho. he’d always look around, observing their glances. that would always be his cue to leave.

in fact, even jeongin would swerve as soon as he saw you in the hallways. out of all the members of your friend group, he was the least likely to hold any sort of grudge, so you were troubled by his reaction to whatever secret drama there seemed to be.

if there was a rumor being spread about you, wouldn’t you deserve to know what it is? but then again, how would you confront anyone about it without sounding paranoid or narcissistic?

｡･ﾟﾟ･ ⚡︎ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

thursday came and went, leaving you with the final day of the school week. you had gotten used to the slight stares and whispers that surrounded you, despite your lingering confusion. school had ended twenty minutes ago, and you were waiting on a bench outside the school for your mom to pick you up. she was running late.

suddenly, the double doors opened up, revealing your boyfriend who walked alongside hyunjin. the two were laughing. it was honestly refreshing to see minho smile after not having seen him happy for a whole week. you caught the boys’ attention from a bit of a distance. minho waved at you, taking a deep breath. you waved and smiled back, trying to pretend everything was fine. that was until he turned around, gesturing for hyunjin to follow him in the opposite direction. your mood and expression instantly dropped.

but then, hyunjin paused, playfully punching minho’s arm and pointing in your direction. you couldn’t tell what they were saying, but you were incredibly grateful for hyunjin’s actions as minho refocused his path to you. as the two parted ways, you and hyunjin exchanged a wave.

at least someone had your back.

your boyfriend approached you. he chose not to sit down, opting instead to simply place his bag next to yours on the bench. he squinted at the sun, which poked out from the other side of the building. “hey.”

“hi…”

you were sick of playing games. you wanted answers.

“what’s wrong, minho?”

“...what? what are you talking about?” he bluffed, his hands clasped behind his back.

“come on. i know there’s something that’s been bothering you. you’ve been avoiding me all week.”

he adjusted his sweatshirt, placed his hands in his pockets. staring off into the distance, he questioned, “why’d you do it?”.

huh?

“what?” you asked in response. maybe this had something to do with his sudden coldness toward you. however, in disbelief from minho’s current emotional state, you maintained an innocent, slightly scared demeanor.

“why’d you tell everybody i’m a sap?”

“what the hell are you talking about?” you raised your voice a bit, beginning to get upset at minho’s accusation.

“that i make you get the bill at every restaurant, that i’d get lost if i wasn’t holding your hand…” at this point, he was counting on his fingers. you were getting more and more anxious by the second. so this is the rumor hyunjin was talking about…

you were so shocked. you looked away from him for a second, trying to process everything. your stomach was doing flips. you didn’t know whether to apologize immediately regardless of your innocence, try to explain your uninvolvement in this, or simply stay silent.

“don’t play dumb with me,” he remarked. “i know it was you.”

this was the most stern he’d ever been with you. especially while alone together. he furrowed his brow, his eyes staring into yours with intensity. you could tell he was angry, but you didn’t know at what.

your eyes dart back up into his. this time, it was your expression that scared him. you never usually got very frustrated with him, as this was your first time having a major communication issue with each other. this feeling was as new to him as it was to you.

but that didn’t matter in that moment.

you got up from your seat and took a step toward your boyfriend. despite your initial fear, that comment was the last straw. all of the emotions you’d suppressed throughout the week came to a head as you stood up for yourself.

“i’m not fucking dumb, nor do i claim to be. for your information, i had no idea a rumor was spreading about you until hyunjin told me. i also didn’t know what it was about until you told me just now. so next time, be upfront about your feelings before you make any assumptions about me.” you paused for a second, unclenching the fists that you hadn’t even realized you were clenching in the first place.

minho was shocked. rightfully so. that was the most riled up he’d ever seen you. he felt so terrible, having ignored you for nothing. how could he have doubted you? what could have driven you to say such stupid, petty stuff about him? you loved him. you always did. but he was too blinded by his ego to see it.

tears rose to your eyes once you finally released the extent of your aggression. you attempted to blink them away, but when you couldn’t, you let out an involuntary “i’m sorry.” you were barely able to use your full voice as tears began dripping down from your eyes and onto your cheeks.

minho wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you in tight. his expression softened. “...don’t be. this was all my fault. i’m an asshole.” he used one hand to stroke your hair as he spoke with urgency. he felt you shaking beneath him, causing tears to poke at his own eyes as you released yours.

while pressed up against him and sobbing quietly into the fabric of his black crewneck, you wrapped your arms around his waist, settling into his embrace. “no you’re not,” you muttered in between sniffles. “you didn’t know.”

“but i should have.” he released you from his hold and places his hands on your shoulders. “this could’ve been taken care of a week ago if i just talked to you about it instead of being a dick.”

you took a deep breath as your face began to cool down a bit. “you were being a dick…” you joked (although, it was justified). he laughed a bit at your comment, but he was still very serious about this.

“you don’t have to forgive me right away, or ever. i know i can’t forgive myself for making you feel like that.” it was then that you realized he was on the verge of crying just as you had been. “ugh! and that comment i made earlier! fuck-” a single tear fell from one of his pitch dark eyes and onto his cheek, cutting him off as he was about to continue. he looked away, trying to collect himself.

“let it out,” you advised, reaching your hand up to wipe away the tear. he looked back at you with pursed lips, other tears evident in his eyes. “there’s no point trying to salvage a bad boy image when it’s just you and me.” you smiled, trying to lighten the mood a bit so you can talk without becoming too emotional. but that seemed impossible.

“you’re right. i shouldn’t care so much.” he began stroking your hair again. you close your stinging eyes and let him. after a pause, however, he grabs your attention again. “i’m gonna find out who started the rumor.” his voice lowered as the anger began bubbling up inside him once again.

“minho, don’t worry about it. it’ll pass.” you unwrap your hands from his waist and reposition them around his neck, drawing his forehead closer to yours. you rub the nape of his neck with your fingertips, lightly combing through his jet black hair.

suddenly, you both became startled as you heard the faint sound of laughter, as well as the sound of a car pulling up behind you. minho turned around and you peeked out to the side. a group of boys sat inside a black mini van, parked along the curb in front of the sidewalk on which you stood. they were all laughing.

“is baby having a fit?” said chan, one of the popular boys in your grade, from the passenger seat. he was referring to minho.

chan was always up to no good, and you usually tried to steer clear of him and his friends in the halls. it immediately clicked in yours and minho’s mind that he must have been behind all of this drama. then, you realized how enraged minho must have been feeling and grabbed onto his sweatshirt sleeve for protection.

“so it was you,” minho said to chan. he sounded almost too calm.

walking toward your boyfriend with his hands behind his back, chan replied, “word travels fast when you find out someone’s not who he says he is. oh! y/n, that reminds me,” the smile on chan’s face was almost sickening to you as he shifted his attention to you. “my aunt’s looking for a babysitter. based on your resume,” he gestured to minho, “you seem like the perfect fit.”

before you could even react, minho turned around and removed your hand from his sleeve, giving it a quick kiss. “give me a minute, yeah?”

and with that, he spun back toward chan and swung a fist at his face with a loud grunt. you gasped, covering your mouth. chan stumbled slightly to the side, covering the side of his lip with his hand. when he rose again and uncovered it, you could see a patch of blood at the corner of his mouth. he wiped it away with a smirk.

“y/n, get inside, now,” minho demanded, still facing chan. he tried not to be too forceful, but this was important. he couldn’t risk you getting hurt even more than what he had caused.

you were at a loss for words. it was like you were frozen, unable to think of what to do or say or who to call. your feet remained planted on the ground as your heart raced with an intensity you’d never felt before. you could almost hear it.

chan laughed again, only this time it was laced with anger. “why would she listen to you? we all know you don’t call the shots.” you could hear chan’s friends reacting the whole time. ‘oohs’ and ‘ahs’, laughter and snarky remarks.

that was the last straw for minho. he swung his fist back at chan’s face, except chan was able to catch it before it hit him. he pushed minho back, almost bumping into you. you were still unable to move, your mouth agape. you were absolutely horrified, and you couldn’t tell whether it was because your boyfriend started a fight or because he was in danger of getting hurt.

minho caught his balance, lunging toward chan again, his fist once again outstretched. this time, he missed, giving chan just enough time to thrust his own fist directly out at minho’s stomach. your boyfriend let out an audible expression of pain, squeezing his arms tightly around himself. to make matters worse, chan wasn’t done. he used the same fist to hit minho with an uppercut to the nose. minho fell to the ground, just missing where you stood. he landed on his palms, droplets of crimson liquid dripping from his nose onto the pavement. you called out his name, finally breaking out of your frozen state to drop to the ground and cradle your boyfriend’s upper body in your arms.

the sight was astounding, to say the least. tears lingered in and around minho’s deep, weary eyes as they looked up into yours. however, you were too concentrated on his afflictions to notice the love and guilt emanating from his gaze. his lip quivered, scarlet blood trickling down onto it. disregarding the damage it might do, you used the sleeve of your sweater to wipe some away. your vision was blurry due to the hot tears prickling through to the surface of your eyes.

chan chuckled once again, his laugh ringing in your ears. “that’s what i thought.” the turned around, blotting the blood on his lip and being commended by his idiot friends. as you watched chan begin making his exit toward the car, minho tugged on your sleeve. you glanced back down at him through hazy eyes. he placed his index finger to his lips, making a silent ‘shh’ face. he then slipped out of your grasp, using his stinging palms to guide himself off of the ground and stand up. he lunged at chan again.

minho grabbed chan’s left arm, swinging it behind his back and holding his shoulder down. the pressure he applied left chan’s arm feeling as though it could snap at any moment. he rithed and pleaded for minho to stop, but he didn’t. chan’s friends fell silent, but - similarly to you - they were too stunned and cowardly to break up the fight.

“look, pretty boy,” minho growled. “you can tell your friends whatever the fuck you want about me, alright? but what goes on between me and my girlfriend is none of your business. understood?”

in between groans and tugs, chan replied, “y-yes… ah… let me… g-go!”

“not until you tell me how it all started.” after chan neglected to respond, your boyfriend tightened his grip on chan’s arm, bringing it even closer to breaking. “hm?” he teased, a smirk pulling at the ends of his lips as he could feel chan beginning to comply.

“i saw you- fuck… at the restaurant…” minho was confused, until he remembered you insisting on paying the bill on your last date. “she paid for you… what a… gentlewoman- shit!” even when under extreme conditions, he still couldn’t give it a rest.

mercy had completely left minho’s eyes as he yanked on chan’s arm once more, releasing a cry from the helpless troublemaker.

however, that’s when you heard a teacher call out to them from the school’s entrance. “boys!” she exclaimed, beginning to approach the scene. “break it up!”

everyone, minho included, immediately shifted their gaze to the woman. chan was then able to break free from minho’s hold, rushing back into the car where he initially arrived. as the driver hit the gas and quickly directed the car out of the parking lot, minho shot his eyes at you. you swiftly grabbed your bags, and then his hand.

and then, you ran.

｡･ﾟﾟ･ ⚡︎ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

you were finally in the clear. after bending around a curve and re-entering the school, the two of you stopped running. you placed your hands on your knees, dropping the backpacks and panting as you both attempted to catch your breath. you had arrived down the hall from the boys’ bathroom. once you could properly regain a proper breathing pattern, you stood upright and examined your boyfriend. just as you both noticed a bloody rip at the knee his once perfect jeans, he began walking toward the bathroom to clean himself up. however, he couldn’t make it too far. his leg was sore from the impact of his fall, and the scrape and running sure didn’t help. he limped a bit, but you grabbed his arm and stopped him. placing it over your shoulder and wrapping your other arm around his waist, you guided him into the bathroom. once you entered, you had him sit on one of the sinks while you gathered supplies to clean his cuts.

“i’m gonna get in so much trouble,” he finally said. he spoke softly, due in part by the pain he was experiencing as well as his ongoing guilt.

“you didn’t have to start a fight,” you muttered, half disappointed but half sympathetic. you always knew he had an edge, but you never imagined you’d see him in a physical altercation. you never looked him in the eye, instead focusing on grabbing a piece of paper towel and turning on one of the faucets.

“like i said, you don’t have to forgive me. especially now- ah, shit.” you accidentally cut him off once you guided his left hand under the running water and started dabbing it with the towel.

you considered his words for a moment as he adjusted to the sensation of the warm liquid on his small cuts. furrowing your brow, you responded, “i don’t think i can yet. it’s too soon.”

“i understand.” he paused, solemnly. “thank you for taking care of me, though.”

“it’s only a bit of cleaning. anyone could’ve done it-”

“no.” he cut you off this time. “thank you for always taking care of me. you’re always there for me, even when i’m not around to reciprocate. you don’t deserve this. i was a shitty boyfriend…”

your eyes darted up to meet his. “was?”

“...well… that’s what you want… right?”

you turned off the faucet, still staring intensely into minho’s eyes. he appeared to be just as perplexed as you were.

“is that what you want?” your hands began shaking as you attempted to mask the anxiety that simmered inside of you. he was the one who was technically in the wrong, but you couldn’t deny the fact that he completed you. having a taste of what it was like to be without him made you realize more than ever that you needed him. you wholeheartedly believed that you could get through this with time... however, what if he had ulterior motives?

his eyes widened. “no! not at all.” his eyes briefly glanced at your hands. he could see the stress he was putting you through and he grabbed your hands, enveloping them in his. “i just figured that’s what you would want. you deserve so much more than…” he let go, staring at his bruised knuckles and the scrapes on his palms. “...this.”

you let his words sink in for a bit. “you know i don’t try to coddle you or anything, right?”

“i know. i’m so pissed at myself for letting all those rumors get to my head. even if those things were true, they wouldn’t be a problem… but i know that now.”

“it only took a few cuts and bruises,” you remarked. “look… i can’t say i’m not upset, but i’m willing to try and work things out… as long as you promise never to fight anyone like that ever again. you scared the shit out of me.”

“yeah… things got a little out of hand.” he used his free hand caress your jaw, stopping at your chin to tilt it up toward him. “i promise.” he pursed his soft, rosy lips before stroking your hair and kissing the crown of your head. you smiled at each other with a newfound sense of closeness.

you continued cleaning up his scrapes until there was no more dripping blood. his nose was definitely going to need a bit of recovery, however you made him promise he’d let your mom take him to the hospital when she arrived at the school; and, he obliged.

you exited the bathroom to reveal the same teacher who attempted to break up the fight. she held minho’s bag. next to her stood the principal, who held yours.

minho was soon to follow you, discarding the rest of the paper towels in the trash. once he caught up to you, he glanced up to discover the same sight. he swallowed hard, his eyes growing wide. he looked down at you, and you at him. your heart was beating uncontrollably.

that is… until minho grabbed your hand, interlocking it with his. suddenly, despite impending doom, everything seemed okay.

and rumor has it, everything would be alright as long as you stuck together.

©️ cotccotc 2020 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

Fic Rec (Part 19) :)

Hi everyone! And welcome to day 1273198172 of quarantine lol. On a serious note, I hope you all are staying safe, happy, and healthy. I know these stories in this list provided me much needed entertainment for the past week or so, and I’m hoping they will help you all the same. I love this AU, its always so fun to see the different routes people take, so without further ado welcome to the Vampire!Bucky Rec List :) *** Means Smut Sorry its a bit short, theres not many out there. The links weren't working so there is none in this.

Biting Cold by @hootyhoobuckaroo

OK so this one I think is a perfect start to the vampire list. This one is absolutely fantastic. So it’s about Bucky and the reader being in a pre-establish relationship, when suddenly some freaky stuff starts happening very close to home. So Buckys a Vampire, and the reader doesn’t know it. But the reader is terrified of vampires. Obviously that causes a little problem. I just really liked how unique of a storyline this was, I love just how genuine the fear was and the emotions they had were. It constantly kept me on the edge of my seat because I was wondering what was gonna happen. I am absolutely in love with protective bucky so you know that this has it lol. And honestly I just really loved how one it was well written, but to reply with something that I had never read before. And I don’t wanna spoil it or anything, but it was just a real nailbiter. Definitely recommend. 

All My Friends Are Heathens by @sebseyesandbuckysthighs ***

OK, so I think this one was the first vampire Bucky story that I ever read, and it’s absolutely fantastic. So this one is about Bucky being a vampire, and he’s amongst the avengers who are all their own sort of “monster“. And the reader comes to visit them, and Bucky is just absolutely drawn to her, and unfortunately she is human. I think my favorite thing about this story is just how well drawn out each character is, I was absolutely invested in not only their relationship growing, but the whole storyline in general. I was obsessed in learning about what the different monsters were, what their little thing was that they did. And I really loved how absolutely cocky and mysterious Bucky was. This one is smutty, but nothings wrong with that LOL. This is just a really good, really head turning story. A lot of twists in this

Bad Things by @xbuchananbarnes *** (kinda)

All right, now this one is really something. So this one was incredibly interesting. It’s about Bucky in the reader being in a pre-established relationship, and he promised to turn her when she turns 28, but in the meantime he makes her move to 10 different places so that way she can get used a whole bunch of different things that she would have to win when she does actually become a vampire. I really liked how mysteries this one is, just how sweet they are together. The fact that her 10th Pl. is what it is, for the reason it is, is something that is incredibly sweet to me.  anyways, I loved seeing all of the little snippets in to how they met, and everything like that. but I really honestly just love how sort of vague it is? If that makes sense? Like there are so many possibilities that your mind is running for miles after you read it. It’s one of those stories that you just keep thinking about, you keep thinking about what the other eight places were, what’s going to happen in the future it’s really awesome. The sequel is even wilder lol.

Thirsty by @jobean12-blog ***

So this one is a short yet sexy little Drabble. It’s technically a vampire Bucky, though it’s not necessarily like a main focus of the story. But I really liked it so I’m going to include it anyway. This one is just you know really cute. It shows the fun little feisty side to them, it’s pretty sexy, some dirty talk that’s like....damn lol. But I really just like stories that show couples are kind of so obsessed with each other, and so in love with each other, that they’re able to have fun in that way no matter where they are. I really liked it 

Craving You by @propertyofpoeandbucky ***

So this one is really cool, this one is about vampire Bucky and succubus reader. It is a compilation of little drabbles, and it’s really interesting. So I love seeing the dynamic between the two of them, just how interesting it is to see how they deal with their lifestyles, and having to do it together. And stuff happens that they have to navigate how they’re going to deal with it. I don’t wanna spoil it but it something that is very interesting to see. It’s also kinda smutty so that’s nice hahaha. Just a really cute, really interesting story

Blood Bound by @the-omni-princess ***

Ohhhhhh man! Now this one! This one is like a TV series I swear, like vampire diaries but a lot better. So this one is about vampire Bucky and a witch reader. And it is so freaking good, and so interesting. So currently is on hiatus, but I thought it was awesome enough to put it in there anyways. Because it doesn’t matter how much of it there is, what there is is amazing. It is like so nailbiting, there’s so many twists and turns and angst, but it’s also incredibly cute. i’ve never read a story like this, and I’m not sure if anybody else could do it like this. And I love how the soulmate idea is interwoven in there, I’m a sucker for soulmates. Honestly it’s like every trope that I love is somehow in this story, but it’s not overwhelming, it’s just really well done. In the world that’s created is so immersive and awesome

In the Dark by @persephone-is-here-omg​

All right, I really like this one too. I think my favorite part about this one is the fact that it relates Canon Bucky to vampire but you. It talks about how Hydra made him a vampire and the torture that he went through because he was a vampire. I really like how it didn’t completely get rid of his story, it wasn’t fully an AU, and that’s so interesting and cool to me man. And I also thought it was interesting seeing all the small little snippet into their relationship. It’s interesting to see EV juxtaposition of how she willingly gives up everything for him, but he got that stuff stolen from hydra. It’s just a really interesting story

Sunshine by @iwillbeinmynest ***

​Alright so this one was amazing. This one is about vampire Bucky, and it’s honestly pretty sad, at the beginning he had basically resigned himself to live a life in the cold. However he needs the reader who somehow can make him feel warm. And that was honestly the cutest part of the story, just how much he loved feeling warm, and she made him feel warm in so many different ways both physically and emotionally and it was so soft. But don’t let that trick you into thinking that this is just a soft story, there are absolutely some crazy things happening in the story. And I absolutely love Tony in this, I think it’s a great representation of him. Such a really awesome story

Men of the Moon by @hellomissmabel

So this one is really cool. It is a vampire diaries a you. It’s also kind of a Stucky x reader but not a Stucky fic if that makes sense? Like Bucky x reader and Steve x reader but no throuple. Obviously, that would be weird because they’re brothers lol. Anyways, now that I just rambled through that. I really love this. I think that all of the characters fit into the vampire diaries characters very well. I’ve honestly never liked vampire diaries, but this made me really like it LOL. I think it was done so much better than the actual show was, why couldn’t the show be like this. anyways, it was just so interesting to read the dynamic between the three characters, and everyone else really. I also loved just how invade the ending was, it’s like I can imagine so many different things happening after it and that’s always something that’s really nice with the story when I can kind of finish it myself.

Hungry Eyes by @lenavonschweetz ***

OHHHHHH this one is SPICY lol. Bucky is one cocky son of a gun. So this one is about vampire Bucky, and for the betterment of the town, him and the reader make a pact that he would feed off of her to avoid suspicion. Except for he would only feed on her wrist because anything else is too intimate. Well that went out the drain real fast. This one was honestly kind of just straight smut lol, but there’s some plot in there that’s really awesome. There’s some awesome tropes, friends to lovers, cocky Bucky, vampire Bucky, SMUT. It all comes together to form a really interesting really well done story. I really liked it  

In the Dark by @waiting4inspiration ***

Oh man, so this one is really interesting too. So this one is about vampire Bucky and werewolf reader, and the reader is an arranged marriage with werewolf Steve. There is a sort of creature war between vampires and werewolves, and that leads to a bunch of problems. But surprise surprise, the reader falls in love with her sworn enemy. And that’s awesome, I love those tropes. I think it’s Really incredible just how well she balances the two worlds, it’s way better than twilight I’ll tell you that right now LOL. But I just really love the dynamic between everybody, there’s angst, there’s fluff, there’s never a time when you’re bored. It’s just left and write something that either leaves you on your toes you’re feeling everything at once. It’s really great. It’s not finished yet but what it’s there is amazing.  

Special: For Heavens Sake by @221bshrlocked​ ***

wow OK, talk about unique. So this one is a vampire reader story, but it was so cool I have to include it. So obviously it’s vampire story obviously, but it also an ABO story, like whaaaaat. So ABO is admittedly the main aspect of a story, but I just thought it was absolutely incredible how well they combined the two tropes. I loved how oh much fuck he was actively trying to be with her, I really love the dynamic between them. I really loved how raw and genuine emotions are, I can’t imagine how scared them both must have been during certain parts of the story, I’m not gonna spoil it but there were definitely some parts where I was on the edge of my seat wondering what was gonna happen because it was so interesting. There was so much happening in the story and it was just awesome.

Thank you all for reading, again, sorry its so short. and sorry it took so long lol. I appreciate you all. :)

𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑.

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you’re a mangaka who draws from your own experiences to write your stories. your new editor disapproves this method.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: akaashi keiji x reader

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, hanahaki au

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: suicidal thoughts/ideation, blood, vomit, major character death

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2 k

𝐚/𝐧: this was written for the cheese cult’s hanahaki fic event !! djnfjdngjnjfnjnjngjn this took me so , so , so long to write because every version i wrote ended up hitting the same brick wall of unimaginable angst and believe it or not, this is probably the happiest version. i was supposed to post this two whole as days ago but hey , at least it happened

From over the cover of the fairytale he reads, the young boy boy peers at you with soft sage eyes — checking to see if you’re still awake. You are, but you’re careful to keep your eyes closed, face buried into the blanket. 

“The end,” the young boy finishes softly, closing his book.

He gingerly places the book to the side before sliding in next to you under the covers. You can feel his eyes on you for another moment before he takes a deep breath — there’s a secret, a confession, something on the tip of his tongue. 

You never hear it.

You wake up with a start, a cough half-way up your throat. You cough and cough and cough until the first bud breaks air, tickling the back of your throat. You reach your fingers into your mouth and pull. 

Bitterly, you stare at the withering bouquet in your hands. 

The flowers are wet with your saliva — only a hint of blood coating the white of the petals. 

When you went to the doctor about it, she said you were lucky. She said that your flowers were so small, you could go your entire life with an unrequited love and they would leave your respiratory system alone. She also added, no doctor in their right mind would perform a removal surgery on a person who was more likely to die on the table, then by their illness. 

While cultivating roses would be painful, at least it would be a quick death.

Like every other day, you toss out the pathetic string of baby’s breath in the garbage bin as you head into the washroom to wash out your mouth. 

You get off of the train at a quarter to ten — thankfully on time for your meeting. 

Kaori gives a friendly smile when you enter her office. Even behind her desk, you can see her burgeoning belly. Despite pushing eight months into her pregnancy, she beams. In her smile, she wears the name brand brightness that they all share — the people with a requited love, that is. The lucky ones whose flowers weren’t fed with misery and tears.

You try your best not to resent her but your jealousy bleeds when you sit in the glossy, apple green chair.

“How are you?” Kaori asks, her gentle eyes watching you.

You give a vague shrug, a small smile. “Sad that this is it.”

She’s pleased by this answer, giving a laugh. It reminds you of blue bells rustling in the wind. “I’ll be back and ready to work on your next series before you know it.”

You give an empty chuckle.

There’s a knock at the door and you both look. A man stands in the doorway — staring at Kaori dryly. His plain neutrals are out of place in her bright office but her brightness doesn’t flicker as she waves him in. You play with the sleeve of your severely drab cotton blouse as you wonder if that’s how you look here. 

“Akaashi! Glad you could make it.” 

He gives a slight bow to Kaori first, then you. You stop fiddling with your sleeve and return the bow while seated. He takes a seat in the chair opposite to you (Kaori dubbed it the pineapple throne after its piss yellow hue). He’s too tall for it. It’s almost comical. You might write that in for one of your characters.

“(Y/N), this is Akaashi Keiji. Akaashi, this is (L/N) (Y/N).” She turns to you. “He will be taking over as your editor for the last volume while I’m on maternity leave.” 

You look over at him — “Akaashi… Keiji?” 

At an arm's length, you can see the gentle slope of his nose and the delicate curl of the eyelashes that frame the muted green of his eyes. There’s something that’s strangely familiar about him but you can’t put your finger on it. You know him. You don’t know how, but you do.

“I look forward to working with you.”

You smile, but at the back of your throat, you can feel a familiar itch beginning to grow.

Despite the connection your body draws to him, Akaashi doesn’t show any recognition in return. 

He taps his pen lightly on the paper. “What’s going on here? What’s your plan for this girl?”

You peer over the desk to look at the character on trial — the panel shows the short haired girl spewing forget-me-nots into the trash bin. Immediately, you frown. It’s annoying that he doesn’t know her name. She is literally one of three main characters.

“Konoka?” You settle back into your seat. “She’s going to die.”

He looks up at you. “I gathered that much, but why?”

If the robot says it, it really must not make sense but then again, you doubt he even understood the nuances of the series if he couldn’t even remember Konoka’s name. “Because she has Hanahaki Disease.”

“Okay, but —” if you hadn’t been growing annoyed by his flat tone, you might’ve swooned at the softness, “forget-me-nots are small. She couldn’t possibly die of Hanahaki.”

“That’s why she kills herself.”

He’s silent for a moment, calculating his next words. “...You realize that she’s one of your most beloved characters, right? Your readers don’t want to see her die like that.”

“This is the trajectory the story has been on since she and Tanaka met again.” Your tone is more charged than you intend, but you can’t help but defend Konoka’s decision fiercely. “She has to commit suicide. It’s the only way she can move on.”

“Yes, but Kanoka—”

Pointedly, you cut him off, “Thank you for your opinion but I refuse to compromise on that.” 

He purses his lips. “I sincerely ask you to reconsider.”

“I will not compromise my artistic integrity for your comfort.”

“Killing characters off isn’t profound. It isn’t always necessary.”

“In this case, it is.” Your cheeks burn red as you stand up for yourself — this fight is on a personal level. “I’m not killing her for shock value. I’m killing her because every night, Konoka dreams about Tanaka, and everyday, she wakes up and throws up flowers because she knows he doesn’t love her back. I’m killing her because there’s no one else for her. I’m killing her because the flowers won’t and that — that’s more painful.”

The silence in the aftermath of your rant is deafening. He says nothing to you for another moment, staring into the smoulder of your eyes with a calculating stare. It might be a mistake to appeal to the emotional aspect of it — after all, you sort of doubt he has any at this point — but, at the root of it, that’s what it is: an emotional problem.

“Fine,” he says. “You still have to redo this panel, though.”

Your mouth burns with a minty tang as you walk back into your room — drawn over by the buzzing sound of your ringer. Looking at the caller I.D., you have half a mind to throw it across the room and get back under the covers. 

But, with all the professionalism you can muster at nine in the morning, you say, “Hello?”

“Are you finished with the second draft?” Akaashi’s flat drawl reverbs through the speaker.

You resist the urge to sigh. “Yes.”

“Can you come by the office to drop it off?”

“Today?” You scratch absently at your collarbone. “Uh… I can swing by tomorrow, but if you really need it today — you can pick it up from my apartment?” 

There’s silence on the other line — likely weighing the pros and cons. In the weeks you’ve worked under him, you’ve noticed that he does nothing without proper evaluation. 

“Is three o’clock alright?”

You’re in the middle of vacuuming when a knock at the door interrupts you. While you’re expecting it, you’re not any less annoyed. You open the door with a tight smile, manuscript already in hand. Akaashi gives a monotone greeting in his monotone clothes with his monotone face. 

“Hello. May I use your washroom?” 

You give a sigh as you open the door wider. “The door on the left.”

He enters your apartment, neatly putting his shoes by the door. You toss the manuscript back on the counter. You meant to send him on his way, but, because he’s already here, you put on a kettle to boil. 

“I sincerely hope you reconsider your plans.”

You turn around at the comment, looking at your editor with a raised brow. “I’m still killing Konoka.”

He’s a different person when you look at him. For once, there’s something behind his eyes — a sharpness to his gaze. That feeling returns — the one that sees flowers tickling at your trachea.

Gravely, he repeats. “I sincerely hope you reconsider your plans.” 

He must’ve seen your garbage bin. You feel ready to throw something else up now.

“Tell me about them,” Akaashi says.

“About who?”

“Whoever it is you’re willing to die for.”

“I…” You feel faint as you rub at your clavicle. “I don’t think you want to hear this.”

“That’s why I asked, isn’t it?” 

So you do. 

You swallow your pride as you tell him about the little boy you once knew. You tell him about the summer you didn’t leave each other’s side and how one day, while you were camping, you woke up next to him and he was coughing petals and buds and thorns. When his parents took him to the hospital, he never came back and you didn’t get to ask any questions before they moved away. 

You tell him that you started dying that day. That the doctors told your parents that the surgery was too risky for your age. That when you came back a few years later, they told you that it was still too risky when the chances of your death were slim. Some days are better than most, you tell him, but because you never stop thinking about him, you’ll never get better. 

It’s the same story that you are writing. 

Akaashi looks at you for a solemn moment, watching you with incredible disbelief. He’s going to call you an over-dramatic idiot for wanting to die over a childhood crush. If it wasn’t your reality, you’d agree with him too. What a stupid reason to die.

But then, he coughs. When he moves his hands from his mouth, both your stomachs drop while you stare in horror at the soft petal, sopping wet with his blood. 

His eyes widen the same time yours do. Immediately, the phone is in your hand, calling an ambulance.

He thinks he’s dying.

This feeling now, and the feeling from back then... They’re one in the same.

That night, you fell asleep facing him. Your button nose and dark lashes were illuminated by the glow created by his flashlight. It wasn’t until he peered over the cover of the book, he realized that you were knocked out cold.

“You’re so pretty,” he wanted to say.

Instead, a coughing fit seized him, which woke you in turn. He’d been complaining about a dry throat recently, so you disappeared to get him a water from the coolers outside of the tent. 

When you came back, the sleeping bag was littered with bloodied petals. The chilled bottle hit the floor as you gave a blood-curdling scream.

This time, when Akaashi wakes up in the hospital, he’s already coughing. In rapid succession, four blood-soaked petals of varying sizes, the round bud they were plucked from, and two thorns spew from his mouth. He looks at you, startled, more emotion than you’ve ever seen him exhibit. 

Your eyes are red rimmed and swollen.

Gently, you pick up the debris littering his lap and toss it into the garbage beside you. The thorns fall through the maze of baby’s breath you had also coughed up and hit the bottom of the bin with a dull thud. 

"Keiji?” you sniffle, your voice soft. “How do you feel?”

“Not good,” he answers. Akaashi chuckles but you can see the blood dribble from his mouth. You wipe at his chapped lips with a tissue.

“The doctor said to call him when you woke up. Let me just —” You feel dizzy as you stand, maybe a touch overwhelmed. “I’m going to go get him.”

There’s a minuscule tug at your hand. When you look down at Akaashi, he’s watching you. His eyes are still a faint shade of green, but there’s a new shine behind them.

“Can I tell you something first?” You hesitate for a second. Then, you nod. “I hope you reconsider your decision.” In the chaos of the past few hours, you had forgotten the matter that brought you here. “I want Konoka to choose herself over Tanaka. Even if she coughs up flowers everyday... I want her to live.”

You take Akaashi’s hand — large, smooth, and cold — in yours. “I can do that.”

“I know that it hurts, but she needs to know that means she’s alive.” You squeeze lightly as his words resonate within you. “I haven’t felt pain in a decade. But, that means I haven’t felt anything. Right now?” He gives you a small smile. “I’m more alive than I’ve ever been.”

Gently letting go of him, you say, “I’ll get you the doctor.” 

You wince when he coughs again — loud and wet. A confession in this final hour won’t do anything. The withered flowers have to come out somehow. 

Still, “I love you,” you try. 

He smiles weakly back at you. “I love you too.”

𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @akaashichigo @drainedjaz @haikkeiji @annalyn-annalyn @mlkytobio @sosugasweet @cali-writes-sometimes @simping4ratsumu @shishinoya @from-left-to-write @akaashit-baeji  @kxgeyamasmilk @agaassi @hanibuni @cupofkenma  @kawanisshi @milk-n-writings @thiccbokuto @shinsukestan @sufiawrites @wakaitoshi @skyguy-peach @fern-writes-ig @briswriting @kawaiikraykray @bubbleteaa @miyuswriting @raevaioli @ouikarwa @hakueishirei @pineapplekween @estherwritess @keiji-n @achoohq​ @badlywritten-hq​ @mochibeaa​ @oinkanna​ @chxrry-wxne​ @spudicide​ @airybby​ @asranomical​ @karmasuna​

The Shooting Stars of N.City (Soulmate Au! Jaemin Fluff)

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator 

Author’s Note: YAY, a request for one of my ult groups! And one of my biases! It’s a win for me, ladies and gays! I accidentally deleted the original request, so I can’t post an answer to it. (It’s really lucky I screenshotted it before that happened.) Also, keep in mind that I’ve never been to a concert before, so this might not be entirely accurate, but I tried to just use my common sense. This imagine honestly has just as much Jisung X Felix as Reader X Jaemin, I’m sorry I got carried away. Hope you enjoy!

Trigger warning: none 

Genre: fluff and slight angst 

Word-count: 4.2K+ 

You are in: The Luck of Fate Star System 

“And what’s the name for that?” the barista asked, the bored lilt to his monotoned voice offset by the heady scent of vanilla and coffee in the air.

“Y/N.” you said softly.

The boy didn’t bother to respond, not even nodding as he tapped your name into the register and told you your total.

“Eight dollars and twenty-one cents.” he drawled.

If it wasn’t so early, you would have groaned about the absurd prices — were you ever going to buy that coffee maker? — but as it was still so early, and you were incredibly sluggish, you only nodded, pulling the money out and handing it toward him.

The boy’s brow furrowed at the ink on your arm, suddenly looking a bit more awake as he craned his neck to see it better, like all nosy people did.

You will meet at: N.City.

The boy startled when you yanked your sleeve down over the words, glaring fiercely as he took the money, stammering and dropping change all over the corner.

You had seen the words on your arm for the longest, and you were beyond sick of being ogled at like a zoo attraction for a soulmate link that you had come to hate anyway.

As if you hadn’t looked at every website, in every almanac and encyclopedia, on every map and globe, trying in vain to find N.City.

Only, no matter how hard you looked it up, you couldn’t find the place on your arm.

N.City was not a real place.

But that didn’t matter, you reminded yourself.

Because this, right now, was a real place. The current moment is what you should be focusing on. Not some distant person that might not even exist in the first place.

“Y/N!” another barista called.

This barista, a pretty girl whose nametag read Yeji, gave you an airy smile as you shuffled up to the counter and took your drink. It made you feel a bit better.

The hot drink in your hands warmed from the inside out, a comforting brace against the sharp November breeze.

Despite the resentment for the words on your arm, you couldn’t help the old childhood habit of brushing your thumb lovingly against the words as you walked into your lecture hall and took your seat.

While your soulmate link wasn’t particularly common, it wasn’t particularly rare either. It wasn’t hard to find other people who had it and they all said the same thing: while seemingly helpful, it acted more like a puzzle than a hint.

Many times, soulmates would have different pieces of the location on their arm, like one soulmate having a street name and the other having the city and state its in. Some soulmates had vague locations like ‘bus’ or ‘river.’

And some, most likely in your case, had emotional locations. This could mean somewhere that’s really important to one of the soulmates, but isn’t actually a place with a name, so the soulmate link had to make one.

This was most likely what you had.

At least, that was what you hoped.

This was much easier to accept than the thought that the soulmate system just screwed you over.

“‘Sup N.City,” Felix’s low baritone, still scratchy with sleep startled you out of your pre-lecture stupor.

You gave him a sour look, too tired and too fond of him to have any real malice behind it.

“Stop calling me that,” you said, like you did twenty times a day whenever he used that nickname. If it had been anyone else, you probably would have body-slammed them.

But Felix, with his deep voice and big pretty eyes and heart way too big for his body, was an extremely hard person to get mad at.

When the years went by and you started to resent the writing on your arm, he was the one who distracted you with Mario Kart and the detentions his stupid ideas brought.

When everyone kept asking what N.City was and what it meant and where it was and your stomach dropped when you saw their faces twist with pity when you said you didn’t know, he was the one who told them to back off and mind their business.

And when people started trying to use your confusion toward your soulmate link to their advantage, trying to trick you into believing they were your soulmate, he was the one who protected you. The one who stood by you when you started isolating everyone in the interest of your safety.

The lecture passed by as it always did, your professor’s incredibly boring voice sliding in one and ear and out the other, without a word of his speech actually sticking in your brain.

If it hadn’t been for the notes Felix took in this class, you probably would have failed weeks ago.

“You really need to start paying attention,” Felix admonished, sounding more amused than disapproving.

You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest as you two packed up. Well, Felix packed up, you didn’t have anything out to begin with except your iced coffee.

“Come on, Lix. Statistics make me sad, you know this.”

Felix rolled his eyes as you two left the lecture hall, on the way to get some actual food in when his phone buzzed in the middle of the walk.

You weren’t paying attention to him until you noticed he wasn’t beside you anymore.

You glanced around, confused, before seeing him a few paces back, an upset and pensive look on his face.

“Lix? What are you doing? What’s wrong?”

The moment he heard your voice, the look broke and he grinned.

“Felix, I don’t like that look. That’s the same look you got on your face in sophomore year when you—”

“Oh? Oh, we bring up stuff from the past, are we?” Felix’s brow rose and your eyes narrowed. “Because if that’s the case, then we can always talk about that time when—”

“Don’t you dare bring that up,” you hissed, cheeks already flaming as he smirked.

“That’s what I thought,” he said sliding his phone back into his pocket and catching up to you, throwing a jovial arm over your shoulder.

You really didn’t like that grin on his face.

“So you know what concert I was going to in June?”

“Yeah,” you said warily, swiping your student ID at the entrance to the dining hall.

“Well, the concert’s in Korea and I don’t like going by myself, so I was going to have Chris-hyung come with me.”

“I don’t like where this is going.”

“But he’s going on a family vacation with Lucas and their mom.”

“I really don’t like where this is going.”

“So I want you to come instead.”

“Oh, Felix,” you whined as you two moved down the line.

“No, listen! It won’t be like that time in LA! My Korean is pretty good now and I’ve been to Seoul loads of times before so I can get us around! And Chan already paid for you, so all you have to do is come!”

Your eyes widened, almost dropping your plate as you looked for an empty table to sit at.

“Chan paid for me?”

“Well, he already paid for his stay in the hotel and his concert ticket and his flight and everything so he’s just giving it to you.” Felix smiled brightly, as if he wasn’t asking me to go with him to a country where I couldn’t speak the language and had never been there before to see a band that I didn’t even know the name of.

Felix was an avid K-Pop fan, but I think it was only because of the name that appeared on his collarbone a day before he turned eighteen.

Han Jisung.

A Korean name if I’d ever seen one. Since then, Felix had been to Korea like six times and was very near fluent in the language. Despite always going there “strictly for concerts and conventions,” he always stayed for, like, a week to “take in the sights.”

Normally, any mention of soulmates irked you. You tried to forget about it as time went on, but it kept being thrown in your face. Couples everywhere, your parents and family constantly harassing you about N.City and your potentially nonexistent soulmate.

But you found his dedication to his soulmate so cute and genuine and innocent, that you just couldn’t fault him for it. This Han Jisung was a very lucky person. 

And, no matter how much you didn’t really want to give up a week of your hard-earned summer downtime to go frolicking in a foreign country, you had to admit that the idea of Felix being alone there didn’t sit well with you either.

“Ugh, fine. But you better not turn me into Nancy Drew looking for Han Jisung.”

Felix blushed, ducking his head down as he grumbled, “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

~

The next two months passed by uneventfully. Exams, homework, and copious amounts of finals stress came and went. And though you and Felix were worn and tired, the thought of having another year under your belt and being one step closer to your degree lifted your spirits considerably.

Because you were petty, you didn’t admit to Felix how excited you actually were about the upcoming trip. But he’d known you for years and the grin wouldn’t leave his face as he watched you run around your room, stuffing clothes and toiletries in a suitcase as you babbled nearly incoherently to him, practicing the little phrases of Korean that you had had time to learn.

Something you knew from experience was that traveling with Felix was . . . stressful. At least, at the beginning.

You had both worked out a plan two days earlier to keep everything relaxed and smooth.

However, the day of the flight, that entire plan went out the window.

You both woke up an hour and a half after the alarm went off, had to go back to his house three times for things you forgot (one of which being his passport and ticket), the bus you were on broke down, Felix cause a hold up at TSA cause of all the snacks in his carry-on, you very nearly got questioned by the police when Felix yelled, “This concert is going to be the bomb!” at the top of his lungs, and then you nearly fought a man at the terminal who you were pretty sure was trying to kidnap you and Felix.

“This happens every time!” you complained to him as you both finally boarded the plane, putting your carryon in the overhead compartment.

Felix got the window seat — due to all his whining — but at this point, you didn’t even care, just settled down in your seat with your earbuds, head leaning back, and drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

At least that’s what was about to happen until Felix tapped your shoulder.

“I have to pee, you have to move.”

“Oh, for FUCK’S SAKE!”

~

You wondered if other people had this same experience, the feeling that everywhere they went, soulmates were all people seemed to want to talk about. But maybe it was just because you were trying to avoid the topic that it kept coming up.

Either way, you were pretty sure that hearing Felix talk about the etymology of the name Han Jisung for the past ninety minutes would have been too much for anyone.

“We’re here!” you said gratefully, nearly crying tears of relief as you practically threw yourself out of the Uber you were sharing with Felix.

The venue was large, and you were elated to see there weren’t too many people in line yet so Felix, hopefully, wouldn’t have time to start talking about Jisung again.

You really hoped they met soon, because, as much as you loved Felix, you didn’t know how much more of this you could take.

“What’s the name of the group again?” you asked as you and Felix walked in, stopping at a merch stand so Felix could buy a shirt and lightstick.

“NCT,” he replied, holding a shirt and lightstick out to you as well as if asking if you wanted one as well.

You shook your head. “Nah, those things are way too expensive to buy one for someone who isn’t even a fan.”

Felix only smirked, buying the extra shirt and lightstick anyway.

“You will be after this, trust me.”

You shrugged, putting the shirt on over your clothes and turning the lightstick around in your hands, examining it curiously. It wasn’t the prettiest thing, but it wasn’t that ugly.

Maybe you could use it to light the way when you go to the bathroom at night.

It was Felix’s money, he could spend it how he pleased. Well, more likely it was Chan and Woojin’s money, but that’s beside the point.

For the next hours, you and Felix spent a generous amount of time talking, beating each other up with lightsticks, and conversing with other fans until finally the lights die down and the music starts up . . .

~

The summer air was cool, gently ticking your face as you gazed up at the sky. The night was quiet, quiet as it could be in a big city like Seoul, and the only other thing that filled your ears was the sound of NCT’s songs on shuffle.

You’d been impressed by the concert, to say the least.

The way they all performed with such passion and precision made you feel electric and, even though you didn’t know the words to the songs, you almost forgot you weren’t a fan as you waved the lightstick and hummed along with Felix beside you.

When you got back to the hotel, you were still wired, unlike Felix, who fell asleep the instant his head hit the pillow.

You decided to go to the nearest park, only a couple minutes' walk away. Even though you didn’t wake Felix up and disturb him, you made sure to text him the location of the place you were going ahead of time just in case something bad happened.

So far, nothing had happened though. There were other people in the park, but none of them paid much attention to you. It seemed they were all just people who couldn’t sleep either.

At least, that was what you thought until some random guy appeared beside you, pointing at the spot on the bench next to you. “Can I sit here?” his voice was smooth and pleasant, and you nodded before you even realized what you’d agreed to.

The boy — who seemed to be about your age — had a black mask on, but you could see his eyes crinkle cutely so you were pretty sure he smiled as he sat beside you.

“Are you here for the shooting stars?” he asked.

Your face contorted in confusion.

“The what?”

“There’s supposed to be shooting stars tonight,” the boy said. “That’s what most of these people are doing here.”

“I didn’t know that. I just couldn’t sleep. I went to a concert, so I guess the adrenaline still hasn’t worn off.”

The boy rose an eyebrow. “The NCT 127 concert? You went?”

You nodded, a ghost of a smile curving your lips. “Yeah, I went with a friend. He’s an NCT friend. I guess I am too, after what I saw at their concert.”

“Do you recognize me?” the stranger suddenly asks.

You stared at him for a moment, bewildered. It was kind of hard to see past the black hoodie, mask, and sweatpants that covered nearly every inch of him, but even so, you pretty sure you’d never met this person before.

“Uh, should I?”

The boy’s eyes changed and you were pretty sure he was smirking.

“NCT has another sub-unit, NCT Dream. Are you and your friend going to see them perform tomorrow?”

You racked your brain for anything Felix might have said about it and slowly nodded. “Yeah, I think he did say we’re going to see them to— oh. Wow . . .”

At that moment, the shooting stars appeared, brilliants streaks of white painting the sky, enrapturing you so much that you failed to see the boy staring in awe at you, a realization seeming to dawn upon him as he watched your face light up at the sight of the shooting stars.

“Holy shit, it's you,” he breathed.

Your brow furrowed as you looked at him. Before you could ask any questions, he just held a hand out to you. You were even more confused at first, before you saw the words on his palm. They were in Korean at first, but they shifted before your eyes, reforming into an English sentence.

You will meet: under the shooting stars.

Your eyes widened, glancing back up at the shootings tars, now long-gone, leaving behind only the brilliants trails where they once were.

“I....but I don’t understand.”

You yanked your sleeve up showing the sentence inscribed onto your arm, but it only made the boy’s eyes crinkle more.

“NCT 127 is called that because they’re based in Seoul. That’s what 127 is, it’s the coordinates for the city. NCT? N.City? You came to Seoul for their concert and now we met under the stars. We’re—”

“Soulmates,” you whisper in disbelief, your eyes widened to the point of saucers.

The boy grinned, nodding as he finally pulled his mask under his chin, revealing the face of what was probably the most gorgeous boy you’d ever seen in your life, a few strands of soft-looking pink hair falling into his sparkly eyes, curved with happiness.

You let out a choked sob as you flung your arms around his neck, hugging him close without even really being conscious of what you were doing, but your soulmate didn’t seem to mind. He just laughed, arms circling around your waist just as tight, rocking you back and forth, hand rubbing your back comfortingly as he nuzzled his face into your hair.

“I thought you weren’t real, I thought the system screwed up,” you blubbered, hands clenching fistfuls of his hoodie. “I tried to look for N.City and I couldn’t find anything, so I thought . . .”

You trailed off, trying to pull yourself together as you buried your head in his chest, the scent of his sweet-smelling cologne filling your senses and calming you slightly.

Your soulmate nodded in understanding, hugging you a little bit closer.

“I’m real. I’m real and I’m here and I’m yours,” he whispered.

“I can’t believe all those years of being obsessed with astronomy actually paid off,” he said and you scoffed.

“I can’t believe letting Felix drag me to a foreign country actually paid off,” you chuckled.

Your soulmate stiffened, pulling back to look at you. “Felix? Lee Felix? His Korean name is Yongbok?”

Your jaw dropped, brows furrowing as you nodded slowly. “Yeah, how did—”

“I’m friends with Han Jisung.”

~

“FELIX!”

A loud bang echoed through the hotel room as Felix shot up in the bed, an anguished cry escaping him when his forehead collided with the headboard.

“What? Are we being robbed? Where’s the fire? Fuck, that hurt!”

Felix groaned, clutching his head, only to yelp when he strayed too close to the edge of the bed and tumbled to the floor in a heap of aching limbs.

You barely even noticed, throwing him clothes and speaking so fast that Felix wouldn’t even be able to understand what you said if you hadn’t just woken him up and given him two concussions and a bone fracture in the span of eight seconds.

“Y/N, slow down, what the hell are you talking about, I— DON’T TOUCH THAT, I CAN GET DRESSED BY MYSELF!”

“Hurry up then!” you groaned, shoving a jacket onto him as he put a pair of jeans and a sneaker on at the same time.

You finally made it out of the hotel room, arguing incoherently the entire time as you pulled Felix along to the destination that you and your soulmate had agreed upon before racing to go fetch your respective friends.

Your soulmate had obviously been more adept at explaining the situation as he stood beside an intensely good-looking boy with long-ish messy blonde hair that looked nervous beyond all belief, but otherwise pretty well pout-together for being woken up at three in the morning.

Meanwhile, you and Felix were still arguing loudly as you entered the already-loud restaurant, his shirt on backward, jeans inside out, mismatched socks on, one shoe missing, and hair sticking up at every angle as he shouted at you, the both of you somehow not bumping into anything as you approached the pair.

“— could have died for Christ’s sake Y/N, you don’t even know Hangul, not to mention I have a headache the size of Germany now and—”

“Germany is a small country and headaches don’t have sizes you moron—”

“YOU KNOW WHAT—”

“DO YOU WANT TO MEET JISUNG OR NOT?”

That made him shut up, eyes wide as he gaped at you, still not noticing the two boys now directly in front of you.

“I— wha— Jisung?” he finally stuttered out.

You wordlessly waved a hand toward the boy, who you could now clearly see had Felix Lee/Lee Yongbok written on the back of his hand.

“That’s him. He’s apparently one of my soulmate’s friends so I thought you’d like to finally meet him.”

Felix looked back and forth between you and Jisung, mouth flapping open and closed like a fish as he tried to find the words to say.

Jisung finally found his voice, squeaking out a, “You’re very pretty.” in a timid shaky voice.

That seemed to shake Felix back to his senses as he flung himself onto the boy. They were the same height but Felix still found a way to comfortably nestle his head in the crook of his neck.

Jisung looked surprised but absolutely elated and you could already tell that he was even more whipped for Felix than Felix was for him. You could see Felix’s ears flushing red as Jisung whispered things in his ear in Korean that you probably didn’t even want to know.

“They’re cute together,” you whispered as your soulmate came over to you, putting an arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side.

“Not as cute as you,” he said, grinning as you groaned.

“Ugh, way too cheesy,” you said in mock disgust as you two sat in a booth, no longer focused on Jisung and Felix at all.

“Get used to it, prince(ss). You’re stuck with me for now. For a long time, hopefully.”

You smiled, anticipation thrumming in your veins as his face advanced closer to yours. You had always thought it was stupid that soulmates got so comfortable with each other, and especially with physical affection, so early on in the relationship, but now you understood perfectly.

You didn’t even care about the fact that you and your soulmate hadn’t even exchanged names or numbers yet as his lips met yours. All you cared about right now was him and the rest could come later.

And if the way he held you so delicately and adoringly was anything to go by, he felt the same.

~

“Wait, so you’re telling me that my soulmate is an idol?” you gaped, turning to look at Jaemin who smiled sheepishly.

Felix snorted, shoving twelve fries into his mouth at once, as he cuddled into Jisung’s side, much like you were doing with Jaemin in the booth seat across from theirs.

Jisung and Felix were an incredibly good-looking couple. You’d grown somewhat used to how pretty Felix was, but Jisung looked like a prince from another direction and it startled you every time you glanced in his direction.

Still, biased though you might be, you didn’t really think anyone was in the same league as Jaemin, whose name you just found out three minutes ago.

“You’d know what if you actually asked his name before you decided to shove your tongue down his throat.” Felix sassed.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“You really want to go there, Felix? You really want to bring that up when I saw Jisung squeeze your ass right in front of my salad two seconds ago?”

Jaemin guffawed loudly as Felix choked on his water. Jisung just gave a tiny smile, not looking the least bit ashamed or sorry.

“Touche,” Felix squeaked.

“Isn’t a relationship going to be complicated for you?” you whispered worriedly to Jaemin as Felix and Jisung talked amongst themselves.

Jaemin’s smile dropped and he looked completely serious now, scaring you a bit as he took your hands in his.

“No matter how hard or complicated it gets, I won’t let that get in the way, Y/N. I’ve waited for you way too long to let my work get in the way. I want you to know I’m serious about this, Y/n, serious about you. I can’t guarantee that we’ll last forever, but I’ll do my part in trying.”

You stared, speechless, for a moment, trying very hard to keep your tears at bay.

The moment was ruined when Felix and Jisung groaned.

“You guys are disgusting.”

“WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!”

The Luck of Fate Star System 

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator 

IDGAF -- One-Shot

Fandom: Marvel AU

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff

Author: @amandaoftherosemire

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 6539

Format: One-Shot

Warnings: Language, angst, fluff

Summary: Standing in line for coffee, cursing the ex-boyfriend who won’t leave you alone, you lay eyes on Bucky Barnes for the first time.

A/N: I started to write this months ago because my darling @hellzzzbelle was having a hard day and I wanted to make her feel better. Unfortunately, once I got half-way through I couldn’t get it out of my brain and onto the page. Once my long fic was out of the way, however, this was one of the first things I finished. I figure this is another opportunity to make “Better Late Than Never” the tagline of my life. I hope y’all like it, especially you, peach.

As you stood in line for coffee, you glared down at your phone in disbelief.

I don’t know why you’re being so childish about this.

“Oh, fuck you and everyone who looks like you, James.” You were muttering under your breath and figured no one in the coffee shop could hear you but to your surprise, the giant in front of you turned around.

“I beg your pardon?”

When you'd gotten in line, the part of your brain that has nothing to do but search for eye candy had noted the man in front of you with approval. Tall and broad, the muscles of his back, shoulders, and arms stretched the long-sleeved t-shirt he wore in all sorts of fascinating ways. A tight ass and thick thighs only added to the allure. You'd been too involved in cursing James six ways to Sunday to pay close attention when you came in, but you couldn't help but think if the face matched the body, he'd be downright lethal. You’d been looking for a new coffee spot since your ex ruined your previous haunt and you were pretty sure you’d found the one if guys this hot hung out there.

As your eyes climbed up from your phone into ice-blue eyes set in a face carved by gods to drive mortals crazy, you realized you were absolutely correct. Lethal.

The man was just plain beautiful. His dark brown hair was pulled back into a stubby ponytail with a few loose locks falling to frame his pretty face. His jawline and cheekbones were sharp enough to cut glass, but his lips were plump and full and looked soft enough to sleep on. His eyes, though, were bright and amused as they caught and held yours.

You realized you'd been staring when that gorgeous mouth quirked up at the corner.

"I'm sorry," you stammered out. "Text message pissed me off."

"Ah." He nodded with a smile. "My given name's James, so I thought you were talking to me for a second." His voice was low and warm and sent shivers down your spine.

Desperate to keep him talking, you asked the first thing that came to mind. "Given name?"

He smiled wider and you had to fight the whimper that wanted to escape your mouth. "Most people call me Bucky."

You stuffed your phone in your back pocket and held out your hand to shake. James could go fuck himself. You had much, much bigger, hotter fish to fry. "Nice to meet you, Bucky. I'm y/n."

Bucky took your hand in his and the feel of his callused palm against yours was delicious. You'd never met a man more physically magnetic than this one, so when he held your hand a little longer than necessary, it made your heart beat faster at the thought that he might be as interested in you as you were in him.

"Pleasure's mine," he rumbled. "How'd James piss you off? If you don't mind me asking."

You laughed, a little breathlessly and you hoped he didn't hear it. "Have you ever been dumped and then had the asshole try to come crawling back?"

"Can't say that I have," he replied with grin.

"It's both immensely satisfying and incredibly irritating." You were grinning back at him, neither of you noticing that the man behind the counter was waiting on Bucky.

The 40ish woman behind you, who'd been eavesdropping and was thoroughly enjoying the meet-cute happening right in front of her, leaned around you and said to Bucky, "If it was your turn, handsome, what would you do?"

Bucky blushed and you thought it might be the cutest damn thing you'd ever seen. Seeing a man this big, this muscled, this gorgeous so sweetly embarrassed was devastating. As he turned around to speak to the barista about his order, you turned to the woman behind you and rolled your eyes as you mock swooned. She grinned back at you and murmured almost inaudibly, "Get it, girl. Do it for all of us.”

You stepped forward when Bucky moved down the counter towards the pick-up window, though he appeared to be taking his time. You hoped it was because of you, but you couldn't believe a man this unbelievably attractive would genuinely be interested.

Except when you pulled out your wallet to pay, the barista smiled and jerked his head towards Bucky, who was acting like he wasn’t listening. “Already taken care of.” You shrugged and stuffed a couple ones in the tip jar before moving to stand next to the gorgeous creature that had just bought your coffee.

“Thank you,” you said with a shy and quiet smile. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Consider it an apology from the Jameses of the world.” Bucky was hunching his shoulders a little and his face was going pink. The sight of this big, beautiful man smiling so shyly made your heart sigh a little and you damned the thing for being so easily wooed.

“I’d rather consider it a present from my new friend Bucky.” You didn’t know who was more surprised at the flirtatious words coming out of your mouth, you or Bucky, but his face flamed just as you felt your own cheeks heat.

Bucky, who was cursing himself for ordering ahead to save time, picked up the three drink carriers on the counter in front of him as he replied, his expression pleased. “I like that better, too.”  You were astonished to see him balance them with an almost uncanny ease, but the way his biceps moved under his shirt distracted you. When at his words you met his gaze, he shot you another blushing smile before ducking his head a little.

“I hope I see you around, Bucky, and not just ‘cause you buy me my favorite coffee.” You winked cheekily at him as you said the last. You were astonished at your own forwardness but unable to stop yourself. You’d never forgive yourself if you didn’t throw yourself at him just a little bit.

Bucky had opened his mouth to reply as he lifted his eyes to yours when his eyes caught something over your shoulder. His face went sheet white and you glanced behind you. You saw nothing but other patrons and no one looked upsetting enough to disturb a man this well-muscled.

When you looked back, Bucky seemed to be hiding behind his hair as he mumbled, “Yeah, nice to meet ya.” You stared as he turned and fairly bolted from the café.

“Y/N!” You jumped when the barista called out your name, so stunned were you by the sudden change in Bucky’s demeanor. You knew it was foolish to be hurt by the behavior of someone you’d only just met, but that didn’t stop the tears that were pricking at your eyes. You grabbed the hazelnut macchiato and turned to leave when the woman who’d been behind you in line placed a hand on your arm.

“I bet this is what set him off,” she said, her face and voice kind as she placed a newspaper in your hand. On the front of the paper was the man who’d just bought you coffee in handcuffs next to Captain America under the headline The Winter Soldier: Truly Reformed?

Your mouth fell open with a pop. You vaguely remembered hearing about this, but as you'd been buried in graduate school when the trial had been going on, the bearded man with his hair in his face hadn’t made an impression. You looked at the door Bucky had run through and remembered how he’d seemed to hide behind his hair just before he’d run out.

When you looked back down at Bucky, because it was undeniably Bucky, though he was clean shaven now but for a little sexy stubble, the woman who’d handed you the paper murmured, “Didn’t seem that bad to me, but I’ve always been a sucker for a killer smile.” You gaped at her as she tipped you a wink and breezed by you with an airy wave. She was gone before you could find your voice to remind her you still had her paper.

You read the article. Of course you did. Then you spent all of your free time over the next three days searching for any other information you could get your hands on. Now that the man had bought you coffee and you weren’t living off caffeine, nicotine, and occasionally Adderall to make it through your Master’s thesis, the story caught you and you couldn’t get enough.

Also, you needed to understand. Bucky had seemed totally normal, except for being possibly the most beautiful man you’d ever personally laid eyes on. However, the one thing you remembered was that the Winter Soldier was a Russian assassin. It didn’t make any sense.

Once you started reading about James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes, Captain America's oldest and best friend, prisoner of war and unwilling HYDRA test subject, you couldn’t stop yourself. Using everything you knew, which was considerable, about researching and verifying information, you had learned enough to come to a conclusion of your own.

Based on the testimony at his trial, you thought the verdict to acquit obvious. You simply couldn’t see how he could be held responsible for what he’d been forced to do when what had been done to him had been taken into account. The fact that he’d not been caught but turned himself in once he could no longer be used as a weapon, proved beyond a shadow of a doubt in the courtroom when the trigger words had been read aloud to a stoic, persistent Bucky Barnes, spoke volumes as to the kind of man he was.

You weren’t going to judge before you knew him. Hell, if you saw him again, you were going to buy him coffee.

Bucky slid soundlessly into the elevator with a sigh of relief. He jabbed repeatedly at the door close button; he was almost home free. He could tell by the look in her eye that Natasha had noticed his new habit of haunting the coffee shop. He had no doubt she’d be following him soon.

As the doors slid closed, Bucky breathed a sigh of relief, cut painfully short by the slim redhead slipping into the elevator at the last second.

“You want some company today?” Natasha asked, the corner of her mouth lifting in quiet amusement.

Internally, Bucky was cursing viciously, but he answered quietly. “If you want.”

Though Natasha wasn’t looking directly at Bucky, she could see his thunderous expression out of the corner of his eye. She didn’t know why the people in her life insisted on trying to keep things from her. “For future reference,” she remarked casually, “the door close button doesn’t do anything.”

Bucky paused for a fraction of a second before answering, considering how best to NOT confirm that he’d been trying to avoid her. “What?” he asked, infusing as much puzzlement as he could into the word.

Natasha tipped him a long, vaguely insulted look. She would never understand how this man in particular could so often underestimate her. “It’s called a placebo button. It doesn’t do anything but it’s still there because people like to believe they have some control over their lives.”

Bucky stared in disbelief at Natasha’s impassive profile. “Gee whiz, Natasha. If you’re gonna be this much fun, can you come with me every time?”

“Is that a dare?” Her head turned slowly as she spoke, and the look of challenge on her face sent a chill of fear running down Bucky’s spine.

“God, no.” Bucky spoke fervently as they exited the elevator. “I haven’t forgotten.” He didn’t know how exactly, but Steve always managed to find the most dangerous women on the planet. He now had a scar at his temple where he’d cracked his head open in fright thanks to Natasha.

When Bucky had first come to live with Steve, he’d expressed doubt that she was capable of sneaking up on him. Over the next week, she’d scared the shit out of him dozens of times before he’d finally admitted defeat. He’d kind of loved it; it had been nice to be not be treated like he was broken.

Once they were on the street, Natasha slipped her arm through Bucky’s and smiled winningly up at him. “Do I need to interrogate you? Or are you gonna make it easy on yourself and just tell me why you’re always going to the coffee shop?”

Bucky refused to look at her, well aware of how uncannily observant she was and hoping to avoid giving himself away. “I’d cop to an interrogation.”

Natasha smiled fully this time. “They all think that.”

Bucky slanted her a look out of the corner of his eye, then burst out laughing at the sly grin on the little redhead’s pretty face. “I met a girl.” He gave in with a wry laugh. He didn’t know why he bothered to resist. The Black Widow wasn’t dangerous simply because she was deadly; she could have her prey fully wrapped in silken bonds before they even knew they were trapped. “I’m trying to run into her again.”

“May I ask why you do not already have this girl’s number?” Her tone told him she already suspected he’d fucked it up. “If she’s worth this much effort.”

Bucky ducked his head, hiding behind his hair, something Natasha considered a terrible habit. His voice low, knowing she’d disapprove, he confessed. “I met her the day that big article about me came out. I panicked and bolted before I could work up the nerve to ask.”

Natasha’s secret tender heart melted a little, but she kept her expression sardonic. “Story checks out.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re too sensitive about it.”

Natasha’s airy tone had Bucky snarling. “Am I?”

“You should at least pretend it doesn’t bother you.” The spy that always lived under the surface of her skin spoke absently, her attention caught by the scuffle up ahead on the sidewalk between them and the coffee shop they were heading toward.

Bucky couldn’t be sure, but he thought he detected a touch of wistfulness behind her words. His voice gentler than it might have been otherwise, he murmured, “Is that what you do?”

“Get fucked, James.”

The sound of your voice, ripe with the same loathing he’d heard the first time he’d heard you speak, had his head snapping up to scan the street in all directions.

Next to him, Natasha was smiling again, having noticed Bucky’s sudden alertness. “Are my thoughts audible now?” she asked, mock concerned. “That’s not good.”

Bucky wasn’t listening, his attention entirely on the drama unfolding in front of the coffee shop where he’d met you. His heart was galloping in his chest, either in terror or anticipation, he wasn’t sure which. He was trying to think of a greeting that didn’t make him feel like an asshole when he realized the slickly handsome man in front of you was blocking your path.

“Come on, Y/N!” The man’s voice was a wheedle, and immediately set Bucky’s teeth on edge. “Give me a chance to explain.” With this he reached out and grabbed your arm as you tried to walk around him.

Your eyes went cold as ice as you looked down at James’ restraining hand. He’d gotten completely out of control lately. It was time to remind him who he was dealing with. Your hand closed around the pen in your jacket pocket. “You’re gonna want to take that hand off me.”

James’ eyes narrowed and you felt his hand tighten on your arm. Typical. Quick as a snake, you struck out with the pen, stabbing him in his pretty artist’s hand with vindictive glee.

James yanked his hand away with a yelp and a plaintive, “Look, I’m sorry.”

A few feet down the sidewalk, Bucky and Nat slowed to watch the tableau. Now that it was abundantly clear you had the situation under control, he was happy to stand back and observe. Natasha murmured out of the corner of her mouth. “Did she just stab him in the hand with a pen? I approve.”

Bucky breathed out, attraction and admiration warring in his chest. “That’s her. I think I’m in love.”

You were so fucking done with this bullshit. James had been bugging you for days about getting together “for closure.” You’d naturally been ignoring him. As far as you were concerned, your James chapter was closed. “For what?” You raised your voice, fully prepared to make a scene. “Touching me without my consent or all the other douchbaggery you’re guilty of?” You snarled, using your hand to punctuate your words and ready to brawl if he didn’t back off. “Get it through your thick skull: I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck.”

Though Bucky was enjoying watching you tell this asshole off, he and Natasha had gotten close enough that it felt weird to not speak. Clearing his throat, Bucky said quietly, “Hi, Y/N.”

Bucky’s voice brought you up short. You had started to give up on running into him again. To do so under these circumstances was less than ideal, but you weren’t the type to question Lady Luck.

You spun around and the smile broke on your face like daybreak, lighting you up. Bucky thought you might be the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

“Bucky! Hi!” You worried you were being too enthusiastic but based on the look on Bucky’s face when he’d fled, he needed the encouragement. To be fair, you tended to wear your heart on your sleeve on a good day. “I’m so glad I ran into you again. You have to let me buy you coffee this time.” You’d recognized the beautiful woman at Bucky’s side immediately and turned to greet her warmly. “Hello!”

Bucky ducked his head and shot you a shyly embarrassed smile before performing quick introductions. “Sorry. Y/N, Natasha. Natasha, Y/N.

Natasha rolled her eyes at Bucky and offered her hand to shake with a quiet smile. “Pleasure to meet you.” If you hadn’t already seen Bucky, you’d consider making a play for the gorgeous woman in front of you. It’d be quite a ride, but you were pretty sure it’d be worth it.

“Excuse me, we’re trying to have a conversation here.” James’ voice made you jump. The moment you’d seen Bucky you’d completely forgotten about the asshole you’d wasted entirely too much time on.

Your head snapped around, your mouth open to blast the bastard when Bucky replied, his voice low and dangerous. “A conversation she seems to want to escape.” His face had fallen into dark and cruel lines and he looked at James like a roach beneath his boot. To you, however, he shot a sweet smile and asked, “Would you like to have coffee with us?”

You weren’t proud of it, couldn’t explain it, but that darkly violent expression had your underwear going damp. You felt like everyone on the damn street could hear your heart pounding. “I would love to,” you replied with a delighted smile, “but would you mind giving me a minute or two? I really should deal with this.”

Bucky sneered with disdain at “this.” James glared back but said nothing. He wasn’t a fool and could tell when he was painfully outclassed. He was a fit and good-looking man, but Bucky Barnes was intimidatingly thick. He didn’t stand a chance.

Next came the cocky smirk and you were starting to get offended at the level of sexy you were required to endure. “Sure. We’ll wait over there.” Bucky and Nat passed by you and James to wait by the door to the coffee shop. They seemed far enough away to give you privacy, but with his heightened super soldier hearing he couldn’t help but overhear. Natasha overheard because Natasha always overhears. No one knows how; it just is.

“Alright.” You turned to James with a sigh. You couldn’t imagine why he was being so persistent; he hadn’t really cared about you at all. You were thoroughly done and couldn’t understand why James wasn’t. “What do you have to say that it’s worth slipping into stalker territory and has me considering a restraining order?”

James reached out, palm up, as though he expected you to put your hand in his. You grimaced at his hand as he spoke, his voice low and throbbing with emotion. You wondered how he turned it on and off like that. “I miss you,” he said, lifting his hand as though he’d touch your face.

You took a step back. “Uh-huh. What happened to what’s-her-face?”

James hand fell away when he realized you weren’t going to give in that easy. “We broke up when I realized what I’d lost with you.”

The rude snort you gave in response had both Bucky and Natasha choking back laughter. “Translation: she dumped you and now you’re bored and lonely.”

James moved closer, crowding you in to make you more aware of his body. It was his signature move as it could be used for both intimidation or seduction depending on the situation. “When did you get so cynical?”

You’d acquired an immunity to James’ signature move. You stood your ground as you replied, refusing to give a single fucking inch. “When you told me you were only with me because I was fun until something better came along.”

At that, Bucky’s eyes narrowed in fury and only Natasha’s restraining hand kept him from returning to deck the other man. Starting brawls was more Steve territory, but he’d make an exception in this case.

“I didn't mean it.” James’ eyes were limpid pools of chocolate brown and had once been your downfall. You’d acquired an immunity to that, too.

You replied with truly astringent sarcasm coating every word. “Of course you didn't.” You shot him a look rich with derision and waved your hand dismissively as you continued, “Look, this is boring and stupid so I'm gonna go have coffee with my ex-Russian assassin friends. You and I are back where we started. Get fucked, James.”

With that parting shot, you turned and walked toward said friends, both of whom were grinning at you, Natasha in approval, Bucky in relief and the first real stirrings of hope. Once the coffee shop door was closed behind you, the glee was bursting out of you like light. “Oh my god thank you! You guys just gave me the best exit line.”

Bucky was grinning like a fool at you, already utterly infatuated. Based on your ex-Russian assassins comment, you knew who he was and apparently didn’t give a fuck. “Absolutely my pleasure.”

Lucky for you, the pleasure turned out to be yours. Coffee with Bucky and Natasha was a riot, the two of them making you laugh until you laid your head on the table, tears of mirth streaming down your face. Natasha had a wicked sense of humor and she used it to tease Bucky without mercy, but with affection. He mostly teased her back, but it was clear she had the upper hand in their interactions.

After she left the two of you to go back to work, Bucky explained that her loyalty was to Steve, first and foremost, but because Bucky’s was, too, she had happily made him one of hers. You wondered at that explanation, because even you could see the infamous Black Widow had a soft spot. It occurred to you that Bucky might not see himself very clearly.

Since both you and Bucky had the day off, neither of you even considered following her lead. Two hours later, time that had flown by as Bucky kept you telling him everything about yourself, he noticed the time when his phone lit up with a text from Steve.

Couldn’t help but notice you went out for coffee three hours ago and haven’t returned. Everything okay?

“It’s Steve,” Bucky said. His pretty face was sweetly nervous as he went on. “Should I tell him I’ll be back soon, or would you like to have lunch with me?”

The next second, Bucky was struck stupid by the smile lighting up your face. You’d been smiling all morning but this one was something special, sparkling and sweet. Though you seemed completely at ease, he had been on edge, terrified that he’d end up frightening you. This smile was too beautiful, too open, too sweet. The likes of him could never inspire such a thing, let alone deserve it. He was starting to worry that he’d misheard you and when you found out who he really was you’d hate him.

“If you keep giving me options like that, you may never see Steve again.” You couldn’t help but flirt. He was too pretty and something about the dumbstruck look he was giving you made you bold. “I’d love to have lunch with you. It’ll give me a chance to hear everything about you.”

Bucky’s face fell along with his stomach and he ducked his head to hide behind his hair. The sight had the smile falling from your face. “You don’t want to hear everything.” He muttered it, but it seemed to you the pain was crystal clear.

Your voice was a gently teasing caress when you answered, and the wounded animal inside the man lifted its head warily. “Maybe not today. After all, lunch would be a first date and horror stories are generally fourth date material.” You tipped him a sly wink. “Considering the horror story, we can play it by ear.”

Bucky lifted his head a little to stare at you through his hair in disbelief. Were you… joking? If the half-smile and kindness in your eyes were any indication, you were. The only other person to make light of his past was Clint, but Clint was fucked up.

You were certain now. Bucky didn’t see himself at all clearly. Not only was he sweet, and funny, and intelligent, and easy to talk to, and you could go on all day, he was also so goddamn dreamy, you’d actually gotten lost in his eyes more than once. You were pretty sure he noticed, because he’d gotten an infuriatingly sexy smirk on his face each time you had to shake yourself out of it.

“Sergeant Barnes, I’m a fact-checker by trade and by inclination. I would never consider my due diligence done if I didn’t spend a little time with the primary source. But I don’t give a fuck about your history right now. I’d rather hear about your todays.”

As you spoke, a soft smile played around your lips. The sight had Bucky lifting his head, a spark of hope lighting in his chest. The sound of his rank and last name told him without doubt that you knew. As a matter of fact, you probably knew everything in the public record. Yet your face lit up every time you looked at him. Bucky couldn’t understand it, but couldn’t resist it, like a stray responding to a soft voice and a gentle hand. “My todays are pretty boring,” he replied, his sweet smile creeping back.

“I’m still interested.” Your expression turned sultry and you hoped he caught the double meaning behind the words. From the wicked grin he flashed, you weren’t disappointed.

“Let me text Steve back and then, how do you feel about pizza?”

You spoke seriously, without the barest hint of amusement but your eyes were twinkling. “I have very warm, deeply sensual feelings about pizza.”

Bucky’s whole face seemed to light up as he laughed out loud, his eyes squinting tight with mirth while his mouth stretched wide. You couldn’t help but laugh with him, this the most carefree you’d seen him yet.

Bucky was still chuckling as he bent over his phone. So far, so perfect, he thought. He hadn’t yet found anything to dislike about you. Somehow, you seemed to feel the same and that made him the luckiest man in New York.

Her name’s y/n and I think she has the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen.

Steve snorted when Bucky’s response came through. A girl. Typical. His face spread in an absolutely delighted smile. Nothing made Steve happier than when his friend was typical. You say that every time. 🙄

Bucky was helping you on with your jacket when his phone buzzed again. When he saw Steve’s reply, he glanced at you. With a cheeky grin, you offered your arm. Laughing again, Bucky held up a finger before tapping out an answer as quickly as possible. When he was done, he dropped his phone into his pocket and took your arm with an amused half-smile.

I can’t remember any others. And since she just agreed to have lunch with me, I’ll see you whenever she’s done with me.

Of course, it didn’t end at lunch. After a long meal punctuated by a lot of laughter and good-natured flirting, you ended up walking together, first through a nearby park, then through your favorite bookstore. Before you knew it, it was time for dinner and Bucky was asking you to join him again.

You were agreeing before you’d even fully thought about it. At this point, you’d come to a conclusion. Bucky Barnes was a fucking sweetheart. As long as he kept asking you to spend more time with him, you were going to keep saying yes. And if he kept smiling like that whenever you did, you didn’t know how you were ever going to say no.

Much, much later, after dinner, dessert, and more coffee, Bucky walked you to your door. The two of you had done everything you could to stretch the time out longer and longer, neither of you willing to part, too enthralled with the other’s company, but neither of you could think of any further excuses.

Bucky had his hands in his pockets and his head down, hiding again behind his hair as you unlocked your front door. Instead of opening it, you turned back to him, a soft smile playing at the corners of your lips when you saw him blushing behind the curtain of his hair.

“Bucky,” you said, and the throaty promise in your voice had him easing forward, “it wouldn’t be too forward to kiss me at the end of our first date.”

Once more the grin broke over his face, this one pure male appreciation. “I was hoping that’s what this was.” He teased gently as his bare hand came up, his thumb brushing against your cheek.

You laughed a little breathlessly. That look, desire and humor, had you fluttering coyly at him. “It will be if you kiss me.”

Bucky smiled, but he didn’t touch you except that big warm hand cupping your cheek and tilting your face for his kiss. Your heart was beating like a drum as he eased closer, lust and excitement tangling inside you and leaving you a little dizzy. Your breath caught at the sight of Bucky’s normally arctic eyes burning like the searing blue at the base of a hungry flame as he dipped his head to close his mouth over yours.

The kiss started out soft and sweet, almost chaste, but the feel of the full, pink mouth you’d been fantasizing about for most of the day set your body ablaze. Bucky didn’t move in, however, and it seemed he held you in place with that single hand against your cheek and neck as with lips, teeth, and tongue he coaxed your mouth open. Truthfully, coaxing was not necessary as you were as eager to explore that tempting mouth as he was for yours.

Bucky was close enough you could feel the heat of his body, and between that and his heady scent of leather, tobacco, and spice your head was spinning. The taste of him on your tongue was as seductive as the way he kissed you as though your breath was the only air he needed to survive.

Somehow, that chaste hand in juxtaposition against that blazing hot kiss combined with the other sensory overload to make this the most erotic experience of your life. You weren’t certain you’d live through having sex with him. You were having a hard time convincing yourself to not drag him inside and find out.

“God,” he whispered against your mouth, his breathing ragged, “you really are perfect.” He couldn’t remember another kiss so bright and warm but also dark and hot. He’d found in your mouth the reminder of both happy sighs and wanton moans and the mixture was a dizzying combination of elation and confusion.

Your eyes fluttered open and at your breathless chuckle, his other hand, which he’d kept gloved the entire day, came up to cup your other cheek as he brushed his lips gently over yours once more.

Bucky was nearly shaking with need. He wanted more than anything to yank you against him and feast on the honey and spice he’d discovered inside the sweetest mouth he’d ever tasted. He was determined to be a gentleman, however, because you were entirely too perfect to risk scaring, no matter how fearless you seemed.

“So, first date implies a second,” he murmured. The soft rumble was unbelievably sexy and had you wondering how he sounded first thing in the morning. You didn’t normally move that fast, but lust was clouding your brain.

You knew you had a ridiculous smile on your face. What you didn’t know was its dazzling effect on Bucky, who could hardly believe you were real, the perfect mix of sexy and sweet. He snatched another kiss, unable to resist that sparkling smile.

You laughed a little and reluctantly pulled your face from his gentle hands. You held yours out in front of you palm up. “If you wanna hand me your phone I’ll put my number in it. You can shoot me a text the next time you want to see me.”

Bucky pulled out his phone and unlocked it before handing it over. He toyed with an idea while he grinned at the top of your head where it was bent over his phone. Once you’d handed it back, he stepped back, afraid if he touched you again, he’d end up pushing too far too fast and frightening you.

With a wink and a sultry “Good night,” you slipped into your apartment and leaned against the closed door, your heart pounding in happiness, excitement, and healthy lust. You were so lost in starry-eyed memories of the best first-date of your life, you jumped a little when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. Pulling it out, you saw an unfamiliar number.

Is it too soon to ask to see you again?

Laughing, you swung the door open, shot a hand out to grab the edge of Bucky’s jacket and dragged him inside. Maybe it was too soon. You didn’t give a fuck.

The attractive 40ish brunette in the bright red dress caught your eye and winked as you and Bucky walked into the coffee shop. Bucky was stopping to pick up the Avengers coffee order on his way back while you were on your way to work. You grinned back at her, recognizing her as the woman with the paper the first time you met Bucky all those months ago.

Outside on the sidewalk once more, you pulled Bucky off to the side and took advantage of Bucky’s full hands to take his beautiful face in yours for a kiss. Since his arms weren’t free to pull you close, maybe you could escape before you were having to sprint to avoid being late for once.

When you reluctantly pulled away for the third time from that delicious mouth, it occurred to you that you may not be blameless in these long morning goodbyes. “You’re going to be late again,” Bucky murmured against your lips, the warning weak.

You pressed your cheek to his, affection and something that felt a lot like love rising up to become an ache in your throat. In the last few months, the least favorite part of any day had become this one, when you had to kiss him goodbye. “Ask me if I give a fuck.”

Bucky turned his head to nip at your bottom lip with a quiet chuckle. “I will not. I know the answer.” It was one of the things he loved most about, your absolute refusal to care about the little shit. Too busy living on your own terms, you were a master at ignoring opinions you didn’t already value. He found it weirdly inspiring.

Bucky spotted a vaguely familiar face in his peripheral vision and smirked. You were busy nuzzling into his throat; Bucky had already cursed himself for not kissing you before he’d loaded up with drink carriers. His voice was an amused drawl as he asked, “Speaking of things you don’t give a fuck about, is that James?”

“James who?” You were humming against his skin, struggling with the rush of emotion, like fluttering wings inside your chest. Because you were cuddled against him, your face buried in his throat, you couldn’t see the downright smug grin on Bucky’s face, but James could. The other man simply turned and walked the other way.

“You really are perfect,” he said as he pressed a kiss to your hair, still frustrated by his full hands. You tilted your head back with a laugh. He’d been saying that from the beginning and it always made you melt a little. You didn’t know it was what he’d taken to saying when he wanted to tell you he loved you. He hadn’t yet gotten the courage to say it out loud.

So tenderly you could help but wonder if he was struggling with that same flutter in his chest, Bucky pressed a soft kiss to your lips and stepped back with a teasing grin. “Get goin’, doll. You’re too tempting, and I don’t want you in trouble again.”

“I like being tempting,” you replied with a flirty smile. You glanced at the time and groaned; you were gonna have to haul ass now. “See you tonight!” you called while walking backward a few steps and blowing noisy kisses. Bucky was still laughing as you turned away to start your run to work.

Bucky was still grinning when a couple of blocks away, he came around a corner to find himself face-to-face with the guy you’d dated before him. He didn’t even try to stop himself from saying what he’d wanted to for months.

“Hey buddy! I wanted to tell you: on the one hand I want to punch you in your fucking face for treating my girl like shit, but on the other if you hadn’t, she wouldn’t be my girl. So, thanks. Asshole.”

With a taunting smirk, Bucky walked around the gaping man and kept walking. Behind him he heard James’ outraged shout. Bucky neither stopped nor turned. “I’d give you the finger, but my hands are full,” he shouted back instead.

That had probably been immature and had definitely been unnecessary. Bucky didn’t give a fuck.

The End

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author spotlight - still_i_fall

He wants to forget how it felt to be hers for just one second.

- remember it’s all pretend @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right

one of the most prolific writers in the hallie fandom, @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right (still_i_fall) has graced us with classic after classic. i had an absolute blast talking with her, and hope you all enjoy the interview!

q&a

Hey! Thanks again for including me in this! Very excited to answer the questions. I love talking about myself. 

Favorite of your stories (and why)

I almost got stuck on this question. I really want to say remember it’s all pretend because I am so incredibly proud of that one. It was the first multi chapter fic that I ever properly finished and I feel like that really means something to me. I also really love that concept, and how it was able to fit in slowburn and enemies to friends to lovers and mutual pining plus a million other little tropes. And, most of all, it was really fun to write. It happened really easily. It’s something I’ll go back to sometimes if I’m ever in the mood to reread my own work. 

But I also love this new thing that I just wrote called i just wanna dance with you. I think if I can pull it off, it could be something really amazing. I was able to write the first chapter in about a week and had a ton of fun doing it. And I really love writing Harry’s pov and just switching things up a little. Ugh, I really love the idea of hallie meeting/knowing each other as little kids and I think that’s pretty apparent in these two fics. 

Easiest story to write

I’ll stop the world (and melt with you) happened really quickly which I guess qualifies it as easy to write. I thought it’d be more difficult just because so much of it is dependent on canon which is something I’m not entirely used to, but it ended up going to fast. I think somewhere I still have a page of notes on that Prom episode and everything that happens to Allie and Harry. I really wanted to include pieces of dialogue from the show. 

I also think it was because I used to do this thing when I was bored where I’d think about who I’d want to be trapped in a Groundhog day like loop with and what’d I’d do. It was just this recurring thought/ daydream I had when I was younger so it’s definitely a situation that I’ve thought through a little. 

Hardest story to write

The taste, the touch, the way we love has been a pain in the ass to write right from the start. Sometimes it’s really fun, but I think I’ve been sticking way too close to the outline I drew at the very start and have been avoiding writing it for too long. Sometimes I absolutely love to write it and have the time of my life, and other times I hate it. There’s not much of an in between. Still definitely want to finish it. Just waiting on that final bit of inspiration. 

Pre-writing process

I’m all about doing a full outline. Usually. With most longer fics (anything I think will be over 6,000 words), I do a full outline where I plan out the progression of the fic and specific scenes and pieces of dialogue. Usually, the plot hits me all at once and is usually the easiest part of the writing process for me. From that original outline, I usually have at least a few specific scenes fully planned out with pieces of dialogue and/or exposition. For example, for i’ll stop the world I started out the planning process with the introduction piece of the fic. That first paragraph is straight out of the note apps on my phone. A lot of the time it’ll end up being a bullet point list of main bits. I’ll use parentheses to specify the tone of a scene or little details and then use brackets for things that I want verbatim in the fic. 

But sometimes I end up with very little pre-planning. The skating au is kinda the only good example of this. I only had the roughest of outlines for that one (how i wanted the first chapter to start and end) and everything else just came together as I tried to get from point A to point B. 

What drew you to Hallie

The potential. They could have a really great story and I think that’s fun. There’s a lot of chemistry there and their dynamic is fun and, yeah, I think I’m a little too far in to get out now.

Favorite line (or lines)/ section you’re proud of

God, I have so many. Hope you don’t mind me going through them. It’s incredibly self indulgent but also gives me an excuse to go through my old works.

From the very first hallie fic I ever wrote, how you wish it would be all the time:

“And Harry's not perfect. He's not what she wanted before this all started or even really after, but everything's different now.”

Sometimes I forget about this fic, but I really shouldn’t cause there is a solid chance that this was my peak. And this line is really fun. 

From we kiss and we keep busy:

“The stars may have moved a little bit, but they’re still there, and they still look the same, and that’s good enough for her.”

I promise I’m not going through every hallie fic I’ve ever written but god I love this line. 

From i saved a picture where your hair was braided:

“It’s late nights and long talks and video games and cookie dough. It’s almost kisses, then definite kisses, and then not wanting to wake up anywhere but his bed. That’s how she starts to fall in love with Harry Bingham.”

Just that last part. That last line. The rest is just there for some fun context. Fun fact: this entire little mini fic was a desperate attempt to stave off writer's block and is based entirely around that single line in the song Donna by the lumineers. Still had a lot of fun with it, though.

From remember it’s all pretend:

“He wonders when she’ll realise that this hasn’t been pretend for him in years.    Probably never.    (He’d still run away with her.)”

“In the back of her mind, Allie wonders why she didn’t try harder to stay with Harry, why now she can only seem to fall in love in front of a camera where there’s the promise of pretend.”

“She likes to think that they’re still friends, that they’re just friends who don’t talk anymore, two people who drifted because one couldn’t handle the idea of change.”

This fic has a million little bits that I love. I could literally go on forever. It’s just full of that mutual pining angst that I live for. 

From but i close my eyes and i’m somewhere else:

“She did not mention this earlier because she was trying desperately hard to ignore it, but fuck, she’s really missed him calling her Pressman.”

“She wonders if Cassandra has any travel sized neck pillows.”

This fic is surprisingly good seeing as I don’t remember writing it at all. I was very much high on some sort of flu medication while writing this and I think that explains a lot about this fic. It’s fun, though. I really love the tone.

From the taste, the touch, the way we love:

“She starts to feel like she couldn’t avoid Harry if she wanted to (and somehow, as the days turn into weeks, she finds herself not wanting to more and more).”

“There’s saltwater in her eyes, hair, and mouth. Harry’s leaning back in it, floating. She is too. The water is blue, and warm, and the sky is clear. Sometimes his hand will grab hers just to pull her closer. When she thinks of calm, of happiness, and vacation, she’ll think of this moment.”

“They’re quiet for a moment. Maggie Rogers can be heard in the background, faded and slow. Harry’s tapping his fingers along to it on the wheel, eyes staring straight ahead. The road is lined with trees, and it all feels like home.”

“For a half a second, she thinks she loves him. She pushes that away and watches him throw wrapping paper behind him dramatically. She pushes it away and she smiles and she laughs and she tries not to think too hard about what all of this means.”

This fic definitely has its moments. I’m really excited to get the last part done and out, though. I just feel like I’ve spent too long on this fic. I want it done.

From i just wanna dance with you:

“Allie met Harry the same day Cassandra did. It was early in the morning and she was four and now, when she looks back, all she can remember from the moment is the vague outline of wild hair and a smile so bright and wide and carefree that it really can’t be anyone else’s.”

“She tries to remember that she likes skating with Will, that there’s no point in wondering what it’d be like if things were just a little bit different.”

“She lied earlier; gold, silver, bronze, doesn’t matter. Harry always looks good.”

“The first time he ever placed first in a competition, she was skating with him. He wonders how long he’ll associate the feeling of a gold medal around his neck with her hand in his. He hopes it’s not long. “

I’m so excited to finish this fic like you guys don’t even understand. It’s really fun and it feels easy to write (so far; knock on wood) and I love the concept. 

What type of Hallie stories do you like to write/read?

I only write au’s just because I think the rules are little different, everything’s just a little bit more relaxed. You’re allowed so much freedom when it’s a completely different universe and I really love that. I went through a phase recently where I was obsessed with canon divergence and this whole idea of a history of contingency. Just there being these points or moments where if one thing was just a little different, everything would’ve changed. I love that and I think that’s really apparent in my drafts/ unreleased wips. 

I’ll read anything, though. Especially with the Hallie ao3 page being so small. I do definitely have a preference still towards au’s, though.

How long have you been writing

For forever. As a kid, I’d fill up entire notebooks with story ideas. It was my favorite thing to do. When I was twelve, a teacher complimented my writing, and I think that really stuck with me. It’s just something I’ve always enjoyed doing. 

Do you ever worry about how your stories are received

Not really. A little bit with multi chapter stories just because I really want every chapter to be better than the last. I just really don’t want to disappoint anyone. 

What’s the hardest part of writing for you

The middle bits. I usually have a very clear idea of the beginning and end so it’s everything in between that I have trouble with. I think that’s why I’m so big on outlining.

Do you ever get writer's block and how do you deal with it

Oh my god all the fucking time! Right now, for example. Usually, I just try to work through it, especially if I have a project in progress. I also do a lot of reading to try to force some sort of inspiration. A lot of what I write is based on what I’m reading. I’ll also listen to music. And, recently, I’ve been making mood boards for my fics which has been so much fun. I really like looking at pretty pictures.

Biggest risk you’ve taken as a writer

Lol I don’t really take risks. I think the riskiest thing I do is post the first chapter of a story with none of the second chapter started. I do that a lot. 

Favorite Hallie trope

Reluctant friends to very good friends to lovers. Also, living together without establishing a clear relationship. I write that a lot. Mutual pining is always fun too. 

Favorite Hallie headcanon

That Harry calls Allie ‘Pressman’ which forces Allie to call him ‘Bingham’. I just think there’s something so fun about calling someone by their last name. Plus, then you get that moment when the first name is used and that gets to be significant. Oh, also that they both swear like sailors, but that’s mostly self-insert on my part.

This felt very self indulgent, but I hope it was at least somewhat enjoyable for someone. 

I am forever waiting to read whatever @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right writes next. It was great to see some of the behind the scenes and I would definitely recommend her latest release cities you’ll never see on screen.

MYG | Lo-Fi Beats (04)

Lo-Fi: an aesthetic of recorded music in which the sound quality is lower than the usual contemporary standards so that imperfections of the recording and production are audible.—fluff, angst, idol!au

prologue :: 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 :: 06 :: epilogue

1,617 words

p.cred

This time as you sat on the benches overlooking the river, you felt uneasy instead of relaxed, nervous instead of happy. Daniel Ito still hadn’t shown; you wondered if it was some sort of tactic, being late, to keep the power and control in his favor. It was working.

You hadn’t told Yoongi who had called last night, had told him it was your Grandmother instead. He wouldn’t have wanted you to meet him, would have stuck his ground about staying in Seoul. But it left a pit in your stomach to lie to him like that.

And you were having doubts. Yoongi was an adult and he had the right to make his own decisions. Who were you to choose otherwise? Who were you to go over his head and...manipulate him? Is that what this was?

But, at the same time, you did want him to have every opportunity available, and maybe he hadn’t fully considered this one. Maybe you could help create a plan that would guarantee the best of both worlds.

Either way, you felt incredibly nauseous.

You sighed. Even to you, your excuses seemed shoddy and your doubts seemed valid. You were just about to leave and stand up when Daniel Ito, the devil himself, appeared.

He stood in front of the sun, casting you in his shadow, and smirked, holding out a paper cup to you, “Cocoa?”

A shiver ran down your spine and you clenched your fists in your jacket pockets as if you had been electrocuted. You liked this man less and less with each passing moment. “No.” You stood and added, “Actually, I was just leaving.”

You only got two steps away before he said, “I don’t believe that to be in your best interest.”

“Excuse me?” When you turned around, Daniel was sitting on the bench casually, sipping the cocoa with one leg crossed over the other. It was as if someone had opened the encyclopedia to “power stance” and pulled out the picture. It unnerved you.

“It’s your grandmother, isn’t it?” he said, cocking an eyebrow at you, “That you send money to every month?”

You were frozen in place, staring at him with your heart pounding in your ears.

“It would be unfortunate should her medical bills suddenly become due, or her mortgage too steep to pay. Was it a...stroke last fall? That put her in the hospital?”

“What do you want?” Your voice seemed small and you hated it. He was a bully. If only your voice were more controlled, your back straighter, your eyes fiercer...But even you couldn’t fool yourself into thinking his expression was anything but predatory. He was dangerous in a way no innocent bully could be.

He stood from the bench and walked toward you slowly. Once he stood in front of you, he raised his hand and drew a gloved finger down your cheek; it was warm and his touch made you feel like property, like he could own you. He shrugged casually, in a way that was all power. You couldn’t hold back the uncomfortable shudder that went down your spine.

“I want you out of the way.”

And just like that, he wasn’t touching you anymore. He took a step back, out of your breathing room. You took a sigh of relief. His arms were crossed and he gave you a cold once-over. Not for the first time.

“Why?”

He shrugged again, “I’ve been watching you and him. He’ll be much easier to manipulate if you’re gone.”

Your eyes turned to steel and your blood to ice. “Yoongi? You’re going to try to manipulate Yoongi?” You couldn’t keep the disbelief from your voice.

Daniel chuckled without humor, “You’d be surprised the things people will do in the face of heartbreak.”

You opened your mouth to protest but his threats against your grandmother lingered in your mind and you found your resolve crumbling. Guilt welled in your chest because you already knew you would do whatever you had to in order to keep your family safe. You hoped Yoongi was stronger than you were.

Daniel told you the plan with an even, monotone voice, like he was bored, like he wasn’t single-handedly destroying your life, like he wasn’t asking you to choose between the love of your life and your family. “Do it today. I’ll be watching.” And then he left you at the river, wishing you could jump in.

You waited until it was nearly the end of the day. You went through the motions of your job robotically, typing the note Daniel had instructed you to write during your lunch break when everyone else was gone. You texted Yoongi to meet you at 5:45 outside the dance studio, but ignored and avoided him other than that.

It was 5:44 and you were leaning against the wall in the open space outside the dance room, feeling like you actually might vomit. You had somehow managed to avoid Minji and Jihoon before leaving, but that now seemed pointless as they headed straight for you.

“Hey, are you okay?” Minji said, holding your arm and looking at you with wide eyes. They both started to say something else, but everything turned to white noise when you saw people begin to file out of the studio.

The moment you locked your eyes on Yoongi, your heart plummeted, because he looked so happy, his eyes crinkling with his signature gummy smile. He looked so happy and you weren’t sure how you were going to do this. You stepped past your friends, vaguely aware of all the people now in the hallway, as you approached Yoongi.

“Hey, what’s up?” he said, taking off his hat and running his fingers through his hair (it’s sweaty) before replacing it on his head, “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“I’m leaving,” you said. It was louder than you intended, but you couldn’t worry about your volume when all you could think about was the things Daniel told you to say and how deeply they were going to hurt you.

“What? Now?” Yoongi looked at his watch, “I thought you had a meeting with Michelle tonight?”

You took a deep breath, “No. I’m leaving Seoul.”

Yoongi’s brow furrowed, and he chuckled half-heartedly, “What?” He watched your expression like he expected you to crack a smile, but he frowned when you never did, “C’mon, that’s not funny.”

You stiffened as you felt everyone in the room slow down and pause to pay attention, you saw Daniel with some of the managers and producers out of the corner of your eye. You rubbed your lips together to try and steel your resolve, your voice turning chilly as you said, “I don’t think we should be friends anymore.”

“What?” Yoongi was taken aback.

“I,” you swallowed, looking away from him because you felt like crying, “I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.”

He was angry then and confused. He glared at you, “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

You steeled your gaze against him, “Do I?”

“Don’t do this,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief, “Don’t fucking do this.”

“I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” you said, crossing your arms across your chest and glaring at him so hard that it almost hurt.

“Fuck you, okay?” he said, “Just…fuck you for this. Fuck…” he ran a hand through his hair anxiously, his hands shaking with frustration and anger. “You know,” he said, his eyes meeting yours with such brilliant anger that they glowed, “you know there’s more to us than…shit.” He threw his hands in the air as if pleading to a higher power, his eyes searching your face for a sign of recognition. But it was like you were a different person, like some sort of switch had flipped.

For just a moment, barely a microsecond, your expression softened at the edges—a sympathy in your eyes, an insecure downturn of the lips, a confused wrinkle in your brow. Then, softly, like there was no more air in your lungs, “Leave me alone, Yoongi.”

“Fucking hell,” he cursed, throwing his hands in the air and looking at you like he didn’t recognize you. He turned and walked away, your eyes on his back sadly the whole time.

“Right,” you whispered, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall now that he wasn’t looking. You pulled at your jean mini-skirt, suddenly feeling naked and vulnerable.

You could see the other members watching you as Yoongi shoved his way through them, their expressions confused and betrayed and angry at the edges. You furrowed your brow and frowned, trying to find a glimmer of understanding amongst them. But, one after the other, they turned and followed Yoongi, their sighs signal enough of their disappointment.

When you turned around there were tears in your eyes, and you were met with the staff members, your friends. Their expressions were the same—knit brows, cold eyes, stiff postures. Confusion.

You turned to Jihoon and the others, holding out the folded piece of paper with the word RESUME printed across it, “I’m sorry I have to leave without notice. I’m moving back to Daegu.”

Minji said your name softly, like a question and you turned to her with a fearful expression. She reached out for you, “Daegu?”

“My family…” you started, your cheeks heating with embarrassment as you realized how many people were watching you, how many people had seen what you’d done to Yoongi. To the love of your life. To your best friend. “I have to go,” you whispered, bowing again to Jihoon and forcing the note into his hands, “I’m sorry.”

author’s note—this was the first part i wrote to this series, their breakup :( 

05: daniel ito is full of shit ↝

for more of my works check out my m.list

the pretty white dress

Cop!Bucky x Criminal Profiler!Reader AU

Summary: Masquerade! Paper faces on parade. Masquerade! Hide your face so the world will never find you.  

Or: A Halloween Masquerade Ball seems like the perfect time to stop a serial killer from killing their 15th victim. That, and you have an excuse to wear the white dress again.

Word Count: 10.2k (I would say that I’m sorry, but then I would be lying.)

Warnings: VIOLENCE, a serial killer running ramped through the streets of NYC, gun violence, blood, drug use, mutilating limbs, MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, necrophilia is mentioned (this serial killer is a sociopath, okay?), angst, hospital visit, VAGUE smut--y’all, I tried, fluff, language, stalking, murder, brief kidnapping, alcohol, trauma, panic attacks, I’m pretty sure that covers everything, if I left something out, please tell me. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: HAPPY HALLOWEEN MY SPOOKY SKELETONS! This took me two whole weeks to write and edit, holy shit lol. This is my longest one shot to date and I’m so excited to share this with you guys. Also, please don’t hurt me when you find out who the serial killer is… if the shoe fits… and it does so…. Please don’t send hate lol. This one is a little darker than what I’ve written before (pretty sure I haven’t written anything dark before, but still), so please be careful when you read this! Please tell me what you think! Have a safe and happy Halloween!

Entering the precinct in a hurry, you quickly step inside the elevator and press level two before the doors slide shut. You swallow hard. Bucky, your NYPD informant, called you in a hurry nearly 20 minutes ago. He sounded nervous and on edge—two things you rarely ever hear from him. 

You swallow hard when the doors ding open. Your legs shake as you step out of the elevator and greet Rhodey with a small, nervous smile before hurrying past his desk towards Bucky’s. You set your bag on his desk before slowly approaching him, Steve, and Natasha near one of the conference rooms standing in front of a large, double-sided whiteboard. You gently place a hand on his shoulder. He spins around. You smile softly at him and his shoulders immediately relax. He lets out a nervous breath and his hands twitch at his sides anxiously. You know he wants to pull you into his arms, but he doesn’t. “Hey, Bucky,” you greet him, squeezing his arm twice, your way of tell him that you’re here and safe with him, that you love him. “What’s up?” He watches you with soft eyes and he relaxes momentarily. Now that you’re here with him, he feels so much better. Your eyes glance at the board in front of you. Various pictures and files are stuck to the whiteboard with notes in the remaining spots on the board. At the top of the board, the words sent chills down your spine. The words The Blind Date Serial Killer were written in big, bold letters. You hate that you still can’t help Bucky and the rest of the precinct close the case. Nearly a year and a half into the killings and murders of 14 innocent young women, you still can’t find the person responsible. The most you know about the killer is that it is a male in his mid 30’s and that he always went to smaller restaurants that don’t have security cameras before hand until he went on the actual date. He uses the blind dating app Take a Chance to lure his victims. He never looks the same and the app is entirely anonymous, only matching pairs based on their interests alone. Only, on the date do they see each other. The precinct has gotten numerous warrants to obtain the information and somehow, whenever they get the information that could reveal the murderer, another murder occurs. Your eyes glare at the photo of the the creator of the app and CEO of the company, Loki Laufeyson as a possible person of interest. Every time you’ve spoken to him, he seems so smug and charming, as if he’s proud to know that a serial killer is using his app to murder and mutilate innocent women. You know he doesn’t care. He’s still making money, even with a serial killer on the loose. You hate it. “We just received this from the mailroom,” Bucky states, avoiding your question entirely. He hands you a slip of paper addressed to the precinct and to you. It sends a shiver down your spine. You swallow hard as you read it. Greetings, 77th Precinct and Ms. Y/n Y/l/n, the supposed criminal profiler extraordinaire. By the time you receive this letter, it will be two days after I have laid out my plans for my second annual Halloween victim, but this time, it’s special, and I want you there for the show. I want you to be there when I kill my 15th victim. I want to watch you fail again. I want to see what desperate attempts you’ve made to make sure that no one will get hurt, even though you know someone will. This fantastic spectacle will occur at the perfect place for such theatrical events to occur. Don’t forget to wear your masks. May this prove as your only opportunity to succeed, or prove to me that I can do this again, again, and again. You know what to do. -TBDSK “Have you sent this off to cartography?” you ask, glancing at Bucky as he watches you nervously. He nods. “They’re analyzing it now.” You swallow hard. “Based on the verbiage, he wants to get caught. He wants his 15th victim to be special, have meaning. If we don’t catch him, he’ll most likely disappear. We won’t be able to find him because he won’t want to be found. We have to take extra caution. Have you figured out where this is going to take place?” Natasha hands you a slip of paper, the words Loki Laufeyson’s Halloween Masquerade Ball are in gorgeous print and it makes your heart stop. Of course. He wants to do where he knows it’ll matter, where it will leave a mark. Loki Laufeyson has been allowing these murders continue without giving you and the precinct the information you’ve demanded from him. All he wants is to make money. “Shit,” you curse. “Is there a way for us to get inside?” “Already a step ahead of you, Y/n,” Steve replies, handing you an envelope inclosed with two tickets to the ball. “Nat, Sam, and I will provide backup while you and Bucky remain on the lookout. We will all be wired and we will make sure to watch your every move. Wanda has our outfits covered as well as other gear needed.” You nod. “Sounds good. Bucky and I will arrive separately, of course, but we will remain in contact.” They nod. “Your primary goal is to find who the killer is, isolate him, and make sure no one gets hurt or killed. We must stop him before his list gets to 15,” Natasha states, looking at you. You nod. Bucky shakes his head. “She shouldn’t be taking most of the responsibility. She’s not a cop. I can do that too,” he argues, standing in front of you protectively. You grasp his hand gently and pull him to stand beside you. “I won’t risk her getting hurt.” “Bucky, it’s okay. You’ll be there to protect me if I need it. I’ll have my gun under my dress. I will be just fine,” you state firmly, letting your hand slide out of his hand. His eyes meet yours as he desperately tries to get through to you without saying anything. He knows you. He knows you better than anyone. He knows how stubborn and reckless you are. He knows that you’ll do anything to prove yourself worthy of the task you’ve been given. He’s known that since the two of you have been in college together. He just doesn’t want to lose you. He never does. Your eyes soften and Bucky sighs. He knows you’ll talk about this later when the two of you are alone together. “You’ll arrive close to when the party starts. We can’t risk him killing right when he arrives with or without a woman. We have no idea what he’s planning, just that this is special to him. We have to be incredibly careful,” Steve states. You nod in understanding and Steve hands Bucky a file before dismissing the two of you. You gather your things together at his desk while you wait for Bucky to finish up a conversation with Captain Stark and some last minute paperwork for another case he’s been working on before heading upstairs to grab your things from Wanda. He grabs his jacket and walks beside you to the elevator. He presses the button and the elevator dings as the doors slide open. You step inside and Bucky joins you as you press the button for floor three. The doors close and you glance at Bucky. You reach for his hand. His gaze moves from the floor to your face. His fingers lace with yours and he squeezes tightly. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t trust your ability to do your job because I know you can,” Bucky tells you, bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing your knuckles softly. “I just hate the idea of using you as bait. I can’t lose you.” You smile softly at him and squeeze his hand tightly. You return the kiss to his knuckles and the doors ding before sliding open. You let go of his hand and step out beside him. “I know, Buck. I know you’re scared that something will happen to me, but I trust your ability to keep me safe. You always have. You won’t lose me,” you reply, approaching Wanda’s desk. She leans on the counter and smirks at you and Bucky. “Good afternoon, love birds. Have you come to claim your items?” Wanda asks, biting her lip. Even after all this time, the comment still makes your heart stutter. You nod. “Great! Y/n, you’re first.” You follow her into the room and down numerous aisles of clothing and gear until you can no longer see Bucky. Wanda peeks her head down one of the aisles before spinning around to face you. “Okay, so, Steve might’ve told an itty bitty lie for you to come up and see me,” Wanda states, biting her lip nervously. You raise your eyebrow at her questionably. “What do you mean? Do you not have a dress for me?” you ask her, crossing your arms over your chest. “No, not exactly, but I do have a mask for you,” Wanda answers, handing you a gorgeous, gold and white masquerade mask. The lace patterns woven into the fabric are gorgeous twirls and waves of gold and pink. She gingerly hands it over to you. “Wanda,” you sighed, shaking your head at her, “I don’t have a dress to go with this.” She smirks at you. “You do, actually. You just haven’t worn it in a handful of years. It goes perfectly with the mask.” Your eyes widen at her suggestion. The dress she’s implying that you should wear is five years old, and you’ve only worn it once. The last time you wore it, you were 24 and you landed your first criminal profiler job and Bucky was promoted to a detective after just six months as a police technician. There’s no way that the dress still fits you. You shake your head at her. “That dress is five years old, Wanda. There’s no way that I can still fit into it,” you tell her. She raises a brow at you, not buying your shitty excuse. She crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m going to pretend that I didn’t here that come out of your mouth,” she states. “You’re in better shape now than you were five years ago. Even then, you were in great shape. You’re going to fit in that dress.” You glare at her, rolling your eyes. “I’m suppose to blend in, not stand out. Wearing a wedding dress will make me stand out.” “No it won’t. The dresses are suppose to be elaborate and extravagant. You’ll fit in just fine. People won’t know that it’s a wedding dress unless you tell them or if they come up to you and ask if it is. Stop being a baby,” Wanda states, shoving your shoulder. “Bucky will!” you argue weakly, pouting at her. It’s stupid to mention, you know this, but it’s the best excuse you have. You know he will know where the dress is from. It’s from the most important day of his life. She scoffs, rolling her eyes at you. “Of course he will, he’s your husband, you dingus. What’s the fun of going undercover when you’re not suppose to know who your husband is when you can easily show him who you are with what you wear? The vision of you walking down the aisle stays with him forever.” Your heart melts at her response and warmth floods your cheeks, but you know you can say the same for you. Walking down the aisle to marry him was the most important moment of your life. He wore a handsome black suit and tie that framed his body perfectly. His hair was pushed back and he shaved his scruff because you asked him to, even though you love his facial hair. “So what you’re saying is that if I wear something he immediately recognizes, he can protect me better?” you ask her. She grins at you, clapping her hands and tapping her finger to her nose. “Ding, ding, ding! Plus, you’re absolutely stunning in that dress! Bucky won’t be able to take his eyes off you which is even better!” You roll your eyes at her and scoff, hiding the growing smile you feel. Shaking your head at Wanda, you can’t help but feel giddy on the inside. Your heart races and your palms are clammy. It reminds you of how you felt five years earlier, nervous and excited to start a new chapter in your life with the man of your dreams. This time though, it’s different and the thought of it sends chills down your spine. The only thing you’re excited about is to wear your wedding dress again. You’re riddled with anxiety. You have no idea what to expect. You’re not certain if you’re going to live to tomorrow, and you’re still not sure what exactly your game plan is to gain the attention of the man who is responsible for killing 14 innocent young women. You take a deep breath and glance at the ground before meeting Wanda’s gaze one more. You swallow hard, feeling the tears well up in the corners of your eyes. Wanda reaches for your hand, squeezing it tightly before pulling you in for a hug. “I’m terrified,” you whisper, feeling the crack in your voice as you spoke. Your arms wrap around Wanda and you squeeze tightly. “Before the serial killer stuff started to happen, we were going to start trying for a baby, but then the killings started up and we weren’t exactly sure who exactly did he like to kill. We shouldn’t have stopped trying, but we did. He just doesn’t want to lose me on the job, and I get that he fears that, but we should still be living a normal life. I’m tired of living in fear. I want this to be over.” Wanda sighs sympathetically as she rubs your back. “You should tell him. I think it’s best if you do—“ “Everything okay back there?!” Bucky shouts from the front, interrupting Wanda’s thought. “Yeah! I’m almost done, babe,” you shout back, pulling away from Wanda and wiping the stray tears off your cheeks. She squeezes your forearm and hands you a small box with your communication devices inside. You thank her with a soft smile before joining him in the front again. He gingerly takes your hand in between his. His rough calloused palm meeting yours helps you breathe a little easier. He’s here with you. He’s present. He is home. He raises a brow at you as he looks at the mask in your hand. “Cute mask, but where’s your dress, sweetheart?” Bucky asks you, pulling you into his chest as you look at him. You blank momentarily. You forgot that Wanda lied to get you up here just to give you the mask and the box. “It was a bit of a misunderstanding,” you answer. “There wasn’t anything up here for me except the mask and the box. I’ll figure something else out to wear. I’m not concerned. I’ll be okay.” He hums and glances at Wanda. “Do you need me, Wanda?” She shakes her head with a growing smirk, and hands him a gorgeous black mask. “Wear that blue suit she loves. She won’t be able to keep her hands away from you,” she answers, winking at you. It makes you roll your eyes at her. She’s such a meddler. He laughs, the sound rings through your ears and makes your heart flutter as he takes the mask. He nods and thanks Wanda before taking your hand and returning to the elevator. The door opens and you both step inside. Pressing the ground floor button, you lean into your husband. He hums and you look at him. He grins at you mischievously. You raise a brow at him suspiciously. “What are you thinking, troublemaker?” you ask teasingly. “We should recreate that elevator scene from that one movie you watched with Becca while I was out with Steve. What was it called? Fifty Shades of Grey?” he asks with a sly smirk.   You gasp in both shock and in embarrassment. Jesus. Bucky is such a little shit. “Bucky!” you exclaimed as you pushed at his chest. He laughs and traps your fingers with his hand against his chest. “You’re crazy.” He grins at your bashfulness and nudges your nose with his. “You’ve been with me for what, an hour today? I have yet to cash in on a kiss with my gorgeous wife,” he murmurs, breathing you in. Your breath stutters inside your throat and your fingers grasp at the fabric of his work suit. “Well, what are you waiting for, Sergeant?” you murmur as you lean closer to him. He grins, gently tilting his head as his mouth presses against yours. You both grin as your lips meet and he gently holds your face between his hands as he presses kisses onto your lips. “I—” kiss, “love—” kiss, “you,” kiss. It makes your cheeks squeeze against his hands as you smile against his lips and laugh in between. “You’re so romantic,” you laugh against his mouth as he continued his relentless attack on your lips. You let your eyes close as he let his mouth rest on yours in a slow kiss. The doors to the elevator ding and you pull away from your husband’s embrace. He reaches for your hand as you walk out of the building towards the police parking garage where Bucky kept his car. He unlocks the car door for you and you grin at him before kissing the corner of his mouth and sliding into the car. Your eyes follow him as he opens the driver’s side door and settles behind the wheel. You take his hand and kiss his knuckles before resting both your hands on the center counsel. He smiles, squeezing your hand and drives off.

Sighing as you enter your home, you glance at the digital clock on the stove. It’s almost 3:30, which means you have more than enough time to get ready for the party. It doesn’t start until eight, and it goes until three in the morning. You have enough time to rest up, shower, look at the files again, and get ready.

Pulling out your phone, you text Peggy, Steve’s wife, asking her to stop by so she can do your hair and help you into your wedding dress. You want the element of surprise against Bucky. She texts back almost immediately, giving you an enthusiastic yes.

Dropping your keys and your bag on the counter, you tug out the files, the masquerade masks, and the box with the ear pieces from your bag. You hear Bucky lock the door behind you and hear the sound of his footsteps against the aging hardwood floor. He presses a gentle kiss to the side of your neck, taking off your coat and hanging it up in the closet. You murmur a quiet thank you as you take off your badge from your belt loop and your gun holster before setting them on the counter.

Kicking off your shoes, you set them inside the closet before joining Bucky on the couch. You curl into him instantly and your fingers slowly unbutton his shirt. He sighs in content before shrugging off the shirt. You throw it onto the loveseat and lean back into him. His lips press against your shoulder. His fingers pull away the fabric covering your skin and he hums when he feels your warm skin beneath his lips. His lips travel up your shoulder, to your collarbone, and they rest against your neck.

“You know,” he states against your skin as he leaves his mouth planted on your neck, “just because we don’t necessarily treat each other as husband and wife at work, doesn’t mean that I still won’t go out of my way to make sure you’re safe. I made a promise to love and protect you until the day I die.”

You hum, nodding and closing your eyes. A soft smile finds its way onto your face. You grab onto his hand, resting your hand on top of his and letting it rest on your stomach. “I know, Bucky. Thank you,” you mumble sleepily.

He smirks against your warm skin. “Did I tell you you looked beautiful today?”

You hum, attempting to shrug your shoulders, “Probably. I don’t remember. You always do.”

“Well you looked beautiful today,” he states, kissing the corner of your jaw. You whine, attempting to tug away from his relentless kiss attacks on your skin.

“Stop kissing me,” you grumble with a pout. “I’m tired. Let’s nap.”

He laughs and the sound of his laugh warms your insides. You smile softly, turning around in his arms and resting your head on his chest, listening to the constant beat of his heart.

“Let’s get you upstairs, Sleeping Beauty,” he teased, mumbling in your ear. You hum and he sits up. He stands up, sliding out of your warm embrace and he takes you into his arms. You cling to him as he walks up the stairs to your bedroom and he gently sets you down. “Let’s get these clothes off of you,” he murmurs, pulling your shirt off your body. His warms hands wrap around your back as he unclasped your bra, leaving your upper body entirely bare to him.

Bucky turns around, grabbing one of his shirts and he presses a soft kiss to your diaphragm before helping you into his shirt. You shimmy out of your pants and Bucky does the same, as well as discarding his undershirt.

You climb into bed together and face each other. He lets his hand rest on your hip. Your eyes flutter as you stare at him and he presses a kiss to your cheek bone. You noticeably relax and he kisses you again and again. It’s the perfect time to tell him that you want to start trying for a baby again.

“James?” you utter gently as your eyes meet. You gently place a hand on his cheek, scratching his growing stubble. He hums as he looks at you. “I want us to start trying for a baby again.” He stares at you and his grip on your hip tightens.

“Really?” Bucky mumbles with a hopeful smile.

You nod. “Yeah. I don’t want this serial killer to dictate our lives. We shouldn’t be living in fear. Besides, I can still do desk work and help out while I’m pregnant. I’ll be okay.”

He grins, rolling over so you’re pinned beneath him. His fingers push up the t-shirt that adorns your body and he leans down to press kisses to your tummy. It makes you laugh and you thread your fingers through his hair.

“We should start practicing right now,” he smirks against your skin and he pushes the shirt closer to your bare chest as he leaned down to kiss you. Your smile grows against his mouth as he drags the shirt off over your head.

“Somebody’s eager,” you tease breathlessly as he kisses along your neck. He grunts against your skin.

“It’s been four days since I’ve intimately touched your body. I’ve missed you,” he grumbles against the shell of your ear.

You fake a gasp and giggle, running your hands down his spine. “You poor baby,” you coo. “Four days is such a long time.”

He nips his teeth into your collarbone. Your fingers squeeze his hair. “Should you be teasing your husband when you’re at his mercy?” he cooed in response. “I know you’re more than eager for me to get the show started, but I don’t know if I should.”

“Hey,” you chastised him, pouting your lips at him as he looked up you, “don’t be a sour puss. I’ll push your dry spell to a week if you don’t take off my nice, pink, silky undergarments with one of your fingers or with your teeth within the next ten seconds.”

He smirks at you as he lingers down your body. He presses a kiss to your abdomen. Your heart stutters right as he lets his head rest between your thighs.

“Like this?” he whispers, dragging his teeth over your underwear and pulling it down your legs. You sigh, letting your eyes flutter close. He smirks on the inside of your thigh, pressing a kiss to your skin. “Oh, so definitely like this.”

It makes you giggle and warmth spreads through your cheeks. Bucky can never fail to make you laugh, even while you’re having sex. You love it. The connection you have between your bodies is always present, but your actions and words have always been your strong suit.

He gently squeezes the inside of your thighs before pushing them apart. You sigh in anticipation as you feel his breath linger on the inside of your legs. His eyes flicker back to you and he grins. Your eyes follow his every move. He blows his warm breath up your body just to tease you and you whine as he settles his face in the crock of your neck.

His lips kiss the side of your neck slowly and you can’t help but thread your fingers through his wild, brown hair. The feeling of his scruff against your skin drives you wild. You feel his hips roll with yours.

“Bucky—fuck,” you whine, reaching your hands behind his back as your fingers tug his boxers off his hips, “please, please, please, for the love of all things holy, do something to please your very impatient wife.”

You know without looking that his smile widens tenfold at the sound of your desperation. Cocky bastard.

He leans down, letting his lips move around your chest. “You would think after having married me and being with me for eight years would make you realize that I like to draw things out to get the full experience. We’re trying for a baby here, pumpkin,” he grins, “this must be experienced.”

“If I didn’t love you as much as I do and want to bare your children, I would kill you because of that bullshit statement. You’re killing me here, Barnes,” you whine.

He laughs, and pulls his boxers down his legs and off the bed. He reaches for your torso and helps you sit up. Your legs cling to his waist and you wrap your arms around him.

He kisses you slowly and you sigh against his mouth as his hips meet yours. Every part of your body tingles and you kiss his shoulder, letting you lips touch the scarred flesh from his first encounter with a criminal that was armed with a knife. His hands run up and down your back slowly until they settle on your hips. He squeezes them tightly and you let out a sigh of relief.

“You like that, sweetheart?” he hums, brushing his lips against the shell of your ear. Goosebumps run down your spine.

“Yes,” you answer, humming in relief.

He grins, letting his hands fall from your hips to the inside of your thighs. You fall back against the pillows and his fingers tease your skin. You whine, letting out a desperate moan.

His fingers move in perfect tandem with his hips and it makes all the difference. You whimper his name, letting your fingers thread through his hair. He grunts into your neck and settles between your legs.

A few long moments pass and he rolls over to his side of the bed. His arms pull you close. He kisses you slowly.

“Do you think that one was the one?” he grinned at you.

You laugh loudly and it’s music to his ears.

After making up the four day dry spell that your husband had so religiously complained about, you both fall asleep. His arms are loosely wrapped around your waist as you slept together and his hands gently rub at your bare tummy. A content sigh escapes your lips as you sleep and dream of an itty bitty Bucky growing inside of you.

An hour or so later, you wake up to the blaring noise of the alarm you set on your phone. You groan into your pillow and Bucky kisses your bare shoulder. You roll over to face him and his smiles at you sleepily.

“Hi,” he mumbles in his thick morning voice. He reaches to kiss your cheek.

“Hi,” you reply back, letting your eyes close briefly before forcing yourself to sit up. “Sleep well?”

He hums. “Good. You?

“Me too. I’m going to take a fast shower before Peggy gets here,” you yawn.

“Okay,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your lips. “I’ll make dinner and look over the files.”

You hum, pressing kisses all over his face before sitting up in bed and pulling the covers off of you. Your feet settle on the floor and you walk into the bathroom, blowing Bucky a kiss before shutting the door.

Turning the shower on, you turn towards the bathroom counter and set your wedding ring down until you wait a handful of seconds until the water turns warm to step inside. You sigh as the warm water rushes down your back in warm waves as it soaks your skin and your hair.

After you shampoo and condition your hair, you lather your legs with soap before shaving. Standing underneath the shower head, you wash away the soap covering your body before turning the shower off.

Drying off, you slip into a pair of sweats and tug on an old fleece jacket before blow drying your hair and sliding your ring back on your finger.

After, you tug on a pair of cabin socks before walking downstairs to join Bucky in the kitchen. The smell of whatever he’s cooking wafts through the front room and you find him sitting at the kitchen table with the files spread around the table. He’s rubbing at his temple and reads through the files. He looks up when he hears the floorboards creak under your weight. He smiles softly and you grin at him before approaching him.

He leans back in the chair and you settle in his lap. His arm cradles your back and his fingers move circles around your hips. You press a kiss to his temple.

“What’ve you been looking at?” you murmur quietly, threading a hand through his hair. He sighs, relaxing against your touch. He presses a kiss to your shoulder.

“Just looking over your file,” he mumbles.

You hum glancing at the pile of papers in front of him. “What does it say?”

“Your name is Caroline Stevens, you’re a photographer for the event. Your media pass is right there,” he points to the bright blue badge on the table. “You’re goal is to take as many pictures of the people there. We’re going to catch him.”

You nod, “What’s your role?”

“To make sure you’re safe. I’m only meant to watch and observe you and anything that might be dangerous.”

Your fingers scratch his cheek gently and he looks at you. His shoulders are tense and his eyes are full of worry. “I won’t let anything happen to you,” he states firmly, “I promise.”

You nod, “I know,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his lips.

The stove beeps and you pull away from him, standing up. Bucky follows suit as you grab two dinner plates from one of the cabinets and you hand them over to your husband. You grab the napkins and turn to face him.

“Forks, spoons, knives?” you ask.

“Forks and knives,” he answers. You grab two sets of silverware and set them on the kitchen table.

You gently gather up the loose pieces of the documents into neat piles and place them back into the correct files. You set the files on the kitchen counter and move your badges and the earpieces for communication off the table.

“Whiskey, water, or wine, babe?” you ask him.

“Whiskey. We’re going to need it,” he answers, placing the dishes on the table. You laugh and pull two glasses out of the china cabinet. You grab the glass bottle of whiskey from inside the pantry and pour it into the glasses.

You set Bucky’s glass in front of him before joining him at the table. You hum as you dig into your plate, a grilled chicken breast with alfredo sauce and noodles.

After dinner and cleaning up the kitchen, Bucky heads up stairs to shower and get ready when Peggy arrived. He kissed her cheek and headed up stairs. She grins at you and hugs you tightly before you shut the door behind you. She walks into the kitchen and sets her bag down.

“I’m so glad you called me, Y/n,” she grins as you sit down in the kitchen chair again. “I haven’t pampered you in ages!” You laugh as she plays with your hair. “What are we going for today?”

“Something that screams that I want all the men to look at me,” you answer with a smirk.

Peggy giggles. “I can most certainly do that.”

Once Peggy finishes your hair, Bucky walks downstairs and you turn your head to look down the hallway. You’re speechless.

He’s wearing the navy blue tux from Steve’s and Peggy’s wedding and he looks incredibly handsome. It’s your favorite suit on him. You stand up from your spot in the chair at the kitchen table and place your hands on his chest.

“You look so handsome, Buck,” you murmur, gently caressing his cheek. He leans into your touch and presses a kiss to your lips.

He pulls away and grins. He plays with a strand of your hair. Your hair is in a beautiful braid around the back of your head that moves into one gorgeous braid down your back. Your hair frames your face perfectly. You look ethereal.

“I love your hair, sweetheart,” he grins, kissing your cheek. “I can’t wait to see what you’re wearing.”

You grin at him and he walks to the kitchen counter, opening the box with the ear pieces inside. He places the ear piece inside his ear and you nervously play with your wedding ring. You let out a nervous breath and slide the ring off your finger. You reach for his hand and place the ring in the palm of his hand.

“Keep this safe for me, would you?” you murmur, closing his hand around the ring.

He nods wordlessly, and places the ring in his pocket for safe keeping. He wraps his arms around your waist, tugging you close. His nose brushes against yours and you press your mouth firmly against his. He caresses your cheek and breathes you in. He pulls away and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I love you,” he whispers so only you can hear. “I will see you soon.”

You nod, “I love you too,” you reply as you watch him grab his wallet, badge, gun holster, mask, and his ticket before heading out the door.

You sigh, feeling a 50 pound weight rest on your chest. You wipe a stray tear. At least he’ll be with Sam, Steve, and Natasha now. You can’t say the same. You’re going to be all alone in an attempt to lure the serial killer. Now you’ve become a potential victim. Single, young, and you have a successful (fake) career. You glance at the clock on the oven. You have another hour until you have to be at the Loki’s Halloween party.

You glance at Peggy and smile at her. “Would you mind helping me into my wedding dress?” you ask her. She screams in excitement and claps her hands together. It makes you laugh and you walk up the stairs to your bedroom closet.

Turning on the light, you head into the back of the closet, grabbing your precious wedding dress from its hanger and handing it over to Peggy. You strip out of your sweats and jacket, letting Peggy see all the marks on your hips and thighs. Warmth covers your cheeks and she raises a brow at you.

“Bloody hell, love,” Peggy breathed through a laugh, “these are fresh, aren’t they?” You don’t answer her question and her mouth drops. “You had sex before I came over, didn’t you?”

You swallow hard. “Technically we had dinner after we napped after we had sex,” you answer, hiding your growing smile.

She scoffs at you, rolling her eyes playfully as she helps you step into the dress. She pulls the sleeves up your body and stares at you through the bathroom mirror. “You know I’m not judging you, Y/n. I think I speak for Steve and I when I say that I am happy to hear that your sex life is thriving. We are antsy to become aunt and uncle, you know. I think Steve is getting tired of hearing that Bucky is the Fun Uncle when he doesn’t have a niece or nephew to spoil rotten,” she teases.

You giggle embarrassingly and hide your face from your best friend. “Peggy, stop it! This is a weird conversation,” you laugh as she zips up your dress.

“No, it’s not. I’m your best friend. I’ve known you since we were 18. I know everything there is to know about you. I am just saying that if you happen to find out that you’re pregnant two or three months from now, Steve and I will be very excited,” she grinned.

You laugh. “Okay, okay, I understand, Peg.”

She smiles at you through the mirror, admiring how beautiful you look in your wedding dress. The dress fits your frame perfectly. It’s an off the shoulder dress with sheer, white fabric covered in flowers. The fabric flows perfectly down your waist and it makes your heart flutter. You love your wedding dress. You’re so glad that it still fits.

“Do you remember when you walked down the aisle and when Bucky saw you, he started to cry?” Peggy asks you with a fond smile.

“Yes!” you exclaim with a laugh. “And then I started to cry!” Peggy laughs and forces you to sit on the toilet seat so she can do your makeup.

After Peggy does your makeup, you thank her and promise that she can pamper you again some other time when she leaves. Shutting the door behind you, you step into a pair of gorgeous, white pumps with flowers designed on the heels. Grabbing a clutch purse from the closet, you toss it onto the table before grabbing your gun and strapping it to your thigh holster underneath your dress. You fix your masquerade mask on your face and grab all the required ID’s for you to get inside. You fix the earpiece into your ear and toss your ticket, press pass, and phone into the purse.

Walking into your home office, you grab your camera and head back out to the kitchen when someone rings the doorbell.

Walking to the front door you unlock it and open the door. Standing on the porch is Jarvis, one of the other detectives at the precinct. You greet him with a soft smile and let him inside before grabbing your purse, camera, and coat from the kitchen table. Jarvis opens the door for you and you thank him before locking it behind you.

Helping you into the limo that the precinct has for undercover operations, he shuts the door and climbs into the driver’s seat before driving off.

Another 20 minutes pass until the limo stops in front of the Laufeyson property. Camera’s flash and there’s security everywhere. Jarvis turns around and looks at you. “Good luck, Y/n. I’ll notify the team that you’ve arrived,” he tells you. You thank him and climb out.

Walking through the property up the steps towards the house, you flash the media badge that was given to you and you walk inside without a hitch. You pin the badge to the sleeve of your dress and drop your purse and your coat off at the bag checking area. You press your finger to the ear piece.

“I’m here,” you state, glancing around to see if you can spot your husband or his team.

Your eyes gaze around the vast room. A gorgeous staircase is at the center and people in their costumes are in every part of the house. In the hallways, on the stairs, looking on from the rails on the second floor, they’re everywhere. You have no idea how you’re going to catch the killer.

You notice the stage behind the staircase and the bar area beside it. It’s all too much. The music is loud, too loud, and there’s smoke and drugs everywhere. It makes you want to vomit. There is no way that you alone can find him.

“Where are you?” Steve is the first to reply.

“Just in front of the staircase. I’m in white.”

Natasha whistles in the comms. “Damn, is Bucky lucky,” she laughs.

“I can’t believe you’re wearing your wedding dress,” Bucky utters in disbelief.

You spin around in an attempt to try and find him. “Do I look okay?” you ask nervously.

“Stop trying to find me, sweetheart. You look perfect.”

You let out a nervous breath, fighting back frustrated tears. “How am I suppose to find him when there’s this many people?”

“He’s suppose to find you,” Natasha answers.

You sigh, bringing your camera up to your eyes as you start taking pictures. People instantly gather around you when they notice that you’re taking pictures for the event. They smile and shout and sing. They dance, they kiss, they drink.

Men flirt with you relentlessly and you try your best to figure out if any of them are the one you’re looking for. They compliment your dress. They compliment your legs. They compliment your eyes, but not one of them praise you for your photography. You know then that the men yearning for your attention aren’t the one man you are looking for.

You move around the home. You take pictures at the bar. You take pictures on the dance floor. You take pictures on the stairs and in the hallways on the second floor.

You’re on the lookout for Loki. You still haven’t seen him and you know he likes to make a scene. He’s a total narcissist.

“May I dance with you?” some asks behind you as you stand in the center of the dance floor. You turn around and your eyes meet Loki’s. There’s no mistaking his stunning green eyes.

He’s in a gorgeous dark green suit with a matching mask.

You swallow hard, letting the camera strap tug on the back of your neck. “Can I get a picture first?” you ask him. He laughs, nodding at your request.

You bring the camera up to your face and focus in on his face. He grins at the camera lens as you capture the picture. The camera flashes and you let it rest against your stomach.

He takes your hand in his and lets his free hand rest on your hip. He pulls you close and leads you in the dance.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Loki asks, expecting you to tell him your name.

“Caroline, and yes,” you answer, “you throw quite the parties, Mr. Laufeyson.” He hums, nodding and laughing quietly at your response. “Although I did expect your entrance into your own party to be more extravagant.”

He laughs, “I can certainly see why you expect that.”

He twirls you around before dipping you so you have to grasp his shoulder tightly to keep your feet on the ground.

Your heart starts to race as he inches closer to you and you swallow hard. Your eyes move past him towards one of the men watching you and inching closer. A man walks up behind Loki and gently presses a hand to his shoulder. You have to hold your breath to stop yourself from panicking.

He whispers something into his ear and Loki nods, gently pulling his hands away from you. “Well, Caroline, it was lovely to meet you and dance with you. I must leave to take care of some business. Enjoy yourself,” he tells you before disappearing.

You let out a nervous breath of air and watch Loki disappear. You clutch your chest and swallow hard before moving off the dance floor. You step over to the bar and order a drink before sitting down. You take a long sip.

“You okay, sweetheart?” A voice whispers beside you. You turn your head to look right at your husband. He’s nursing a drink in his hands and staring at you.

You nod. “Yeah. I just danced with Loki, freaked me out a bit,” you answer, sipping your drink.

“Take a deep breath, you got this.”

You let out a nervous breath and you itch to touch him, but you don’t. Instead, you down the rest of your drink before walking up the stairs.

Leaning against the railing, you look down at those on the dance floor and at the bar. They’re kissing and drinking and sneaking off into the bathrooms with each other. It makes you sigh. You just want to be with Bucky. You look across to the other side of the house. Bucky’s staring right at you nursing another drink. You roll your eyes. At least he’s doing his job.

“Do you not like taking photographs at events like these?” someone asks, approaching you and leaning on the railing next to you. You tense and try your best to ignore Bucky inside your ear. You turn your head, looking at the man in question. He’s handsome. His curly brown hair frames his face perfectly and he has stunning green eyes. His mask rests on his forehead when he looks at you.

You shrug. “I just didn’t expect this many people, that’s all,” you answer, swallowing hard.

He nods, sticking his hand out for you to take. “I’m Ethan,” he introduces himself.

You smile at him and nod, avoiding his hand, “Caroline.”

He laughs, nodding his head and dropping his hand to his side. You stare down at the dance floor when the lights go off. People scream and you grasp the railing tightly. You can hear Bucky shouting your name into your ear, but it’s all background noise. You feel a sharp prick in your arm. It makes you scream and the lights turn back on. You turn to face him.

Your vision is blurry and your tongue feels swollen. Your head starts to hurt. You squint to face him. “What did you do to me?” your words are slurred as you feel him grab your arm, tugging you down one of the empty hallways on the second floor.

He shrugs. “It’s a fast acting drug to copy the effects of someone who is wasted,” he answers. “Loki uses it on all of the girls.”

“It’s Loki. It’s Loki. It’s Loki,” you chant, pressing your finger against your ear. “It’s Loki. It’s Loki. It’s Loki.”

“Y/n!” Bucky shouts in your ear. “Where are you? I’m coming to get you!”

You groan as Ethan pulls you through an unmarked door up another flight of stairs. A door creaks open and through your blurred vision, you see a figure in a dark green suit at a table with a candle.

Ethan pulls out a chair and forces you to sit down. You blink fast in an attempt to keep your eyes open. You squint, knowing that sitting before you is Loki, the man responsible for killing 14 innocent young women.

“Why?” you slur in an attempt from falling asleep. You have to stay awake. You have to stay awake. You have to stay awake. “Why did you kill all those women? Why create an app to lure them when whatever you put in me is just as useful?”

“Because, Y/n,” he states, leaning against the table to get a good look at you now that you’re entirely vulnerable in front of him without hiding behind a fake name. “Women lie. They are deceitful creatures, especially on dating sites. I just did what needed to be done to punish them.”

“Why kill me, then? I’m not on dating sites. I don’t fit in with the women you’ve killed.”

He smirks at you and it sends a shiver down your spine. He knows something. Loki knows something and it scares you. You hate it. He grabs something from behind his chair and pushes it onto the table. You have to squint to see it. Your heart drops into your stomach. You feel like throwing up. Loki has pictures of you and Bucky on your wedding day. “On the contrary, Y/n, you are. Did you not give me a fake name when I asked for it? You did lie, but that’s not why I’m going to kill you. I did some digging on you because I liked you, I still like you, and I wanted you. You’re strong, powerful, independent, someone I could see myself with. Every time I saw you in the lobby of my building, every time you spoke to me, I wanted you, but when I found out that you were married to one of the many cops that is trying to thwart my killings, I was furious. You tricked me with your charm and your wit to think that I could have you. He doesn't deserve you.”

Your heart starts to race. “What are you going to do to me?”

He smirks, reaching for your hand. His fingers lace with yours and your weak attempts to pull from his touch are useless. You’re too drugged up to do anything.

“Like I do with all my victims. We’re going to eat together, and then I’m going to drug you again, and then I’m going to have my way with you. Usually, I have my way after they are dead, but you, Y/n, are special. I cannot let such a warm, beautiful body, in such a beautiful dress go to waste. This is your wedding dress, is it not? I’m going to thoroughly enjoy having you to myself, knowing that your husband can’t do anything to save you. After, like all my other victims, I’m going to kill you piece by piece,” he answers.

You scream as loud as you can, hoping by some miracle that Bucky and the others are tearing the house apart looking for you. Loki just laughs, pressing his mouth to your skin. His lips trail up your arm and it makes you want to puke.

“They cannot hear you. These walls are soundproof,” he grins. He forces a bite of steak into your mouth, forcing his hand on your jaw, forcing you to chew and swallow the meat. Tears cover your cheeks.

“Please,” you beg, “please don’t do this.”

You take your free hand under the table beneath your dress. You slowly take your gun from its holster, dragging it up your body and into your lap. Loki just smiles at you.

“Why not? You’re in this gorgeous dress, I’m in this handsome suit, why don’t we see what’s underneath?” Loki questions, standing up from his spot at the table, moving closer to you. You swallow hard, gripping the gun as hard as you can, as much as your drugged up body will allow. You silently switch the safety off and aim it at his knee caps. You glance up at him.

“Your lackey should’ve checked if I was armed,” you sneer, pulling the trigger.

Loki screams in pure agony and you shoot his other knee so he falls to the floor. You fall off the chair and you can hear Ethan running up the staircase. You aim for the opening and don’t hesitate to fire when you see him step into the room. He crumbles down the stairs.

You press your finger to your ear. “Bucky,” you sob. “I’m in a hidden room on the second floor. I can’t—I can’t move. He drugged me but I shot him. I shot Loki. He’s the serial killer.”

“We’re coming, baby! I’m coming!” Bucky shouts.

You start to panic and you watch Loki writhe in utter pain on the other side of the chair. He’s covered in blood and it stains a portion of your dress. He snarls at you.

“I’m going to kill you,” he snears, crawling his way towards you. You scream. You still can’t move your legs. You’re lucky you were even able to shoot your gun in the first place.

You hear something break just beyond the staircase and you drag yourself on your forearms away from Loki. He pulls himself forward with his arms.

The stairs creak behind you and you hear shouting behind you.

“Y/n!” Bucky shouts behind you. Natasha and Steve run in front of you, dragging Loki away from you. Steve handcuffs him and Nat reads him his Miranda rights. Bucky gently pulls you up to your feet.

“I can’t feel my legs, Buck. I can’t—I can’t,” you slur.

“What did you give her?!” Natasha snarls into Loki’s ear. He smirks smugly, staring into Bucky’s eyes.

“I use it on my victims so that they’re too weak to fight back. It makes them feel slow, loopy, wasted. It’s easy to do whatever I want with them when they’re in such a state,” Loki answers with a smirk as Steve and Natasha drag him down the stairs. Other policemen canvas the area and start taking pictures and gathering evidence. Others take care of Ethan’s body.

“I’m going to get you an ambulance, baby. The doctors are going to help you,” Bucky states, fighting back his own tears.

He picks you up in his arms as he carefully walks down the stairs. Your arms are dead weight, hanging down your husband’s back as he takes you outside to one of the many awaiting ambulances.

Paramedics take you immediately and lay you on a gurney. They place an oxygen mask over your nose and you start to panic.

“Ma’am, you need to take deep breaths. You are okay. You’re safe. We’re going to the hospital,” one of the paramedics tells you, gently grabbing your arm.

“My husband,” you cry, “where is my husband? I need my husband.”

The paramedics glance at one another before one of them climbs out and walks over to where Bucky stood at the front of the vehicle.

“Sir, do you know where her husband might be? She’s in hysterics.”

Bucky’s broken from his raging thoughts and kicks his foot off the ambulance. “I’m her husband,” he states, hurrying to the back of the vehicle and climbing inside so he can be with you.

“Bucky,” you cry, your voice muffled behind the oxygen mask. Tears dampen your hair as you continue to cry.

“I’m here, baby, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. They’re taking us to the hospital so doctors can take care of you. You’re safe. It’s okay,” Bucky murmurs, gently threading his fingers through your hair as the paramedics do a number of tests before shutting the doors and taking off to the nearest hospital. You fall asleep to the beat of your heart and the feeling of Bucky’s fingers through your hair.

Some time later, you wake up and you gasp in a panic. You don’t know where you are. You don’t remember what happened. The heart rate monitor starts beeping in a wild rage. It causes Bucky to stir from his restless slumber in the chair beside you with his hand in his. You’re gasping for air.

Bucky climbs out of his seat, hurrying over to your side. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Breathe, you’re in the hospital. You’re safe. He won’t hurt you anymore. I’m here. You’re okay,” he tells you, threading his fingers through your hair.

You blink at him through your tears when you notice that he’s still in his handsome navy blue tux. You burst into tears and cover your face shamefully.

“I’m sorry,” you sob. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t know that he had others to collect his victims to give to him. I didn’t do my job. I’m sorry.”

Tears find their way to Bucky’s cheeks and his heart breaks. He prys your hands away from your tear stained cheeks. He kisses your knuckles and squeezes your hands.

“Don’t apologize, Y/n,” he sniffs through his tears. “You did do your job. You caught him. You stopped him from murdering even more innocent women. You did it, baby. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t know. It’s over now.”

He gingerly climbs into the small hospital bed and cradles you in his arms. He kisses your forehead. “I’m sorry that I didn’t do my job. I was suppose to protect you and I didn’t. I let him take you. I failed you, I’m sorry,” he cries, hugging you close.

You shake your head. “No. No. This isn’t your fault. I don’t blame you. This is not on you. Neither of us knew what would happen. We took a risk knowing that something could happen because that’s our job. This is not your fault, James,” you state firmly, sinking into his touch as silence falls between you. Your fingers move gently against his chest. “I thought I was going to die without telling you that I loved you one last time,” you confess, closing your eyes in a weak attempt to stop the tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

He kisses your forehead firmly. A tear touches his cheek. “I thought I was going to lose you. I was so scared, but you? You were so brave, so fearless. It’s one of the many things I love about you, sweetheart. You’re so strong.”

You snuggle into his side and kiss his shoulder. He takes your left hand in his, pulling out your wedding ring from the safety of his pocket. He slides it back onto your finger and kisses your knuckle gently. He wipes away your stray tears damping his shirt. You sigh. “So what did the doctors say?”

“Whatever they injected you with was some variation of a roofie. They flushed it out of your system and ran a few tests, but you’re okay. You can still walk. You’re going to be okay,” Bucky answers.

You press a kiss to his jaw. “Thank you for saving me,” you whisper. “I love you.”

“I’ll do it again and again if I have to,” he murmurs.

You rest your head on his chest, letting your eyes close. This time, you’re not in a panic to fall asleep. You’re in the arms of the man you love most. He’s your protector. He’s your life. He is the biggest part of you.

His arms wrap around you safely. He kisses your shoulder and lets his hands rest on your tummy. You hum, opening your eyes so you can look at him properly before falling asleep again.

“When we get home, we’re going to have to start baby proofing the house,” he states with a growing smirk.

You sit up and stare at him with a raised brow. “What? Pregnancy doesn’t work that fast,” you tell him, laughing at him.

He smirks at you, brushing his fingers around your tummy. “After 11 weeks go by, it probably does,” he answers. You blink at him in shock. Tears of joy fill your eyes.

“Eleven weeks?” you choke out. “I’m 11 weeks pregnant?”

He grins at you, squeezing your hand. “Yes, baby, you are. They had to run a lot more tests just to make sure that the baby was okay with all the stuff that was in your system,” he informs you.

“We’re going to be parents,” you utter in awe. “I’m going to be a mom. You’re going to be a dad. We’re having a baby!”

He laughs, kissing you slowly. You gently caress his face and grasp onto his hair. “Once they make sure you’re okay to leave, we have eight weeks of paid leave to prep for Baby Barnes,” he states.

“Eight weeks? Isn’t two months a lot?”

“Tony insisted. He wants to make sure that we both get the services we need before returning to work after what happened. We’re going to be okay,” he answers.

You sigh, pressing your lips to his tummy, you let your hands rest on top of his that were on your own stomach. You sigh.

“I have a baby in me,” you mutter in disbelief. “A baby, our baby.”

He brushes his lips against the top of your head as you drift off to sleep in his arms as he held you. His grip on you tightens. Buck will do anything for you. He would’ve probably killed Loki if he had the chance. He’s willing to risk everything if it means that you’re safe and protected. Now, it’s not just for you, it’s for your baby, too.

The Sex Contract - Chapter 21

Genre: friends to lovers au / friends with benefits / mature content / romance / angst

Characters: Shim Changmin x Kaia Ashton (OC)

A/N: Due to the overwhelming request I have followed your encouragement to bring back one of my older stories. This was back in a time where OCs were everything and writing one chapter in each main’s point of view was the trend. I hope that even though I have edited this drastically, that you can appreciate this story comes from my older style of writing. I definitely still read this often and find it enjoyable so I hope you will too.

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 - FINAL

Chapter 21 – Changmin’s POV.

“Do I really have to?”

Changmin’s manager sighed heavily and placed both hands on Changmin’s shoulders. “Do you want me to lose my job? Of course, you have to.”

“But I’d rather cut my own hand off than spend another night with Kaori. I thought this was only a Japan thing.”

“Are you really that ignorant, kid? Of course, this was going to continue after the promotions, otherwise then the whole thing would look fake and enrage the fans more than you both hooking up.” The man looked at Changmin incredulously. “Seriously are you that naive?”

“Can I end it soon though?” Changmin begged, and the man waved him off. “Hyunggg!”

“Aegyo never has worked on me, Changmin.” He narrowed his eyes for a moment and then smiled. “And you’re just not a pretty little thing to keep me that entertained.”

“Unlike Kaia huh?” Yunho mentioned as he entered the room and Changmin gave his fellow member a filthy look. He was still enjoying Changmin’s pain too much.

The manager grinned. “Oh, she was the sweetest thing, always bringing me cups of coffee. A real cheerful girl she was. I even forgot she was foreign, she was that comfortable.” He turned his attention to Changmin and slapped his arm.

“Ow! Why is everyone hitting me lately?!”

“Just do your job, understand?” He left the room and Changmin looked over at Yunho now stretching to prepare for dance practice. He stalked across the room to the older man and Yunho paused his actions, standing back to his full height and giving Changmin an amused glance.

“Changmin?”

“Would you stop bringing her up? Every time I see Nayoung she’s always beating on me, don’t get him going too.”

“I was just stating a fact is all.” He casually slipped into a hamstring stretch. “Not my fault everyone’s blaming you for Kaia leaving, though it kind of is.”

“I’ve already told you that she’s the one who wants nothing to do with me!”

Yunho rolled his eyes. “Figured out why yet?”

“No, because I have to put up with irresponsible people like you trying to irritate me!”

“The irresponsible one is you for letting that silly agreement get out of control. I told you it would end like this.” Yunho chuckled. “You know Changmin; I love you as a brother, and know everything there is about you. It’s amusing that you can’t figure out what everyone else has.”

“Can’t you just tell me then?!” Changmin let out an angry huff of air and started stretching too.

Yunho shook his head and grinned. “Nope, that’s for you to uncover yourself.”

“Bastard!”

Changmin was beyond annoyed by the time he left work for the evening and headed across to the hotel Kaori was staying in to pick her up. His manager had insisted Changmin take his car, ensuring that he would be followed by reporters for high coverage. Changmin disliked the attention normally and being so outlandishly open about dating Kaori was really started to strike a nerve. He was sure that if this fake relationship didn’t end soon, he was going to slip up from all the anger it stacked within him. And he was already too frustrated with his personal life as it was to add anything further to the fire.

Driving up in front of the hotel, Changmin pulled out his phone and rung the Japanese model. She didn’t pick up immediately and he slammed his hand on the steering wheel, annoyed with how she had to take her time with everything. Finally, the call connected. “I’m sitting in front of the hotel, hurry up or I’m going without you.”

“Is that any way to speak to me Changmin?”

“I’ve had a really long day, and would rather go home and eat there. Does that indicate how much I want to talk to you right now?” Changmin sighed irritably.

“Testy,” she purred and giggled. “I feel tonight is going to be very interesting.”

“We’re going to the movies. That way your voice won’t get on my nerves for too long.”

“Oh, Changmin you really do know how to seduce a woman.” She giggled again. “I’ll be down in ten minutes.”

“Make it five or I’m leaving.” He ended the call and then switched on the radio, turning it up. A couple of valet boys glanced in his direction and Changmin shrugged. He was already bringing enough attention by just sitting here. Three songs went by and he decided that was more than enough time waiting for the demanding princess. A small smile crossed his lips at how mad Kaori would be if he drove off now. It was so tempting. He started the car up and glanced about the foyer, grinning childishly. It soon faded and was replaced with a scowl, the elegant woman walking in his direction.

“Changminnie!” She greeted as she got into the car, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. He didn’t know why she bothered with continuing the act behind the tinted windows but he simply ignored it, driving out of the area immediately. “I didn’t even have my seatbelt on!”

“Be thankful I hadn’t driven off, I was about to.”

“Ooh, you are very sour tonight,” she observed and smiled to herself. “It shall be up to me to make this change! What movie are we going to see? There’s a really good Korean romantic comed-”

“An English one,” Changmin cut in, hoping that would annoy her. He glanced in her direction and smiled, noting she had folded her arms across her chest. “I’ve wanted to see it for some time now.”

“Ah, is your English any good? Whenever I watch English movies, I get a headache from trying to understand everything.”

Changmin smiled to himself in triumph. “Nothing like a challenge, right?”

“What are you up to Changmin?” she wondered at his mood change. Changmin turned to the woman and gave her a gracious smile. “You are being nice again.”

“I’m sorry; I guess I feel better in your company already.”

“Hah.”

“We’re here, come on, let’s put on a grand performance.” Changmin pulled the car into a park easily and cut the engine. Getting out, he rounded the vehicle and opened the door for the woman, who looked about her in confusion.

“This is the front entrance.”

“Of course, we’re just a normal couple on a date to the movies, right?” Changmin reminded, slinging his arm through hers and taking the girl towards the building. Crowds were already forming and when they were spotted, the noise of gasps started to fill the venue. Although normally it would irk Changmin, knowing that he was going to annoy Kaori with the movie choice had relieved him of any displeasure.

He was going to have fun tonight.

His plan faltered in the first fifteen minutes of the movie. Changmin was too busy trying to understand everything happening that he became incredibly frustrated. It was fast paced too and looking around himself, it annoyed him that everyone else appeared as if they understood the storyline. Even Kaori seemed interested enough to try keeping up.

Distracted, Changmin continued to look around the darkened theatre, wondering how he was going to get through another hour of this movie. Just as he looked back at the screen, his eyes caught a couple two rows down. He blinked and refocused, lurching forward in the chair a little. Blinking furiously this time, still they appeared in front of him and Changmin watched on in high interest.

The man wasn’t that much taller than the woman but there was still enough clearance for her to comfortably rest her head on his shoulder. Changmin’s eyes narrowed, watching as the Korean waited for his opportunity to sling his arm around the back of the chair. Just as he anticipated, the man moved it a moment later and the girl instantly snuggled into his side, her curls falling over his limb in the process. Changmin took in a sharp breath and leant closer towards Kaori so he could get a better look at Kaia on her date.

“Min?” she whispered and he had to put an arm around her to balance his new position. Kaori seemed to enjoy this though he was vaguely aware, too busy watching the couple. Halfway through the movie the man removed his arm and whispered into Kaia’s ear before getting up and darting for the exit. Without thinking, Changmin got up out of his seat with a brief mentioning of going to the bathroom and followed him out, heading to the restroom since the man wasn’t in the foyer. He soon found him and smiled as he approached the person he was looking for.

“I’m sorry, this might seem the wrong place but are you from CODE V?” Changmin asked as he moved over to him by the sink and Jaewon stopped washing his hands, his eyes widening in shock. “I’m sorry for frightening you, how funny is it having two idols here tonight!”

“Cha, Changmin!” he exclaimed and grinned. “This is, woahhh.”

“I’m happy to meet you,” Changmin told him and Jaewon nodded repeatedly.

“Likewise, this is an actual dream of mine! I’m a fan!”

“Oh?” Changmin looked away momentarily and then back at the man. “I’m aware of your music also.”

“Really?! My hyungs will be so honoured to hear that!”

Changmin nodded and racked his brain. “Ah, will you be attending the upcoming festival? I think I saw your group’s name on the line-up.”

“Yes! I will be there!” He smiled brightly, and for a moment Changmin faltered, finding the genuine response from Jaewon slightly hard to apprehend. No wonder Kaia liked him, he seemed very friendly.

“I’ll see you there then. Don’t let me keep you,” Changmin replied and Jaewon nodded, walking away for a moment. He quickly returned and held out his phone.

“I’m sorry, this is silly of me but-”

Changmin nodded. “I’ll take a photo with you, no worries!”

As Jaewon opened the device, Changmin spotted a picture of him and Kaia as the wallpaper and tried not to be obvious. She had never taken a photo with Changmin before. Jaewon then held it up and Changmin smiled for the shot, Jaewon bowing a couple of times before departing the bathroom. Placing his hands on the sink in front of me, Changmin groaned loudly. This was not how he wanted things to be.

I should leave, Changmin thought and sighed. Or I could just watch over them some more. It’s not harming anyone. Besides, they’ll probably need to eat, and Kaori is expecting food after this too.

He nodded determinedly. “Yunho did tell me to figure out the reason, maybe if I hang around her I’ll realise it.”

Heading back into the movie theatre, Changmin sat back down beside Kaori, who snuggled into his side. He didn’t stop her, feeling a little guilty for his new plan. He didn’t really want to drag her into this. But all the same, when the movie finished, Changmin grabbed her hand and walked out into the foyer, his eyes scanning the crowds to find the couple ahead.

“That was surprisingly good, wasn’t it?”

“It was interesting for sure.” Changmin smiled briefly at the woman. “Are you hungry? I’m starving. Let’s go eat.”

“Oh, but we didn’t make any reservations!”

“Why don’t we just find something nearby?” he suggested, finally spotting the all too familiar curls and not letting them out of his sight. They followed the couple around the block where there were a few restaurants and upscale cafes and Jaewon and Kaia eventually entered one, causing Changmin to hastily spot a different place to go into. Across the road was a good ramen store and he nodded towards it, all but dragging Kaori inside it. They ordered and Changmin chose the seats near the front, looking across to the coffee shop Kaia and Jaewon had entered. It was perfect; he had a complete view of them both.

“This is a different side to you, Changmin,” Kaori stated as they settled into their meals and he nodded, smiling at the woman. He didn’t know why he felt the need to be so nice to her right now, normally just the sight of her would make him want to run and hide. Changmin left it down to the guilt he was feeling for becoming a stalker. Shuddering with the label he had just given himself, he forced himself to look away. As he turned his head back to the meal in front of him, his appetite seemed to fade and he tried to smile again at Kaori who had still been talking.

Changmin was able to decipher that he was jealous of Jaewon. However, he didn’t know why. He missed his best friend and because of Jaewon, Changmin wasn’t able to see her anymore. He had left it down to that, but as Changmin sat there feeling guilty towards Kaori and now Jaewon, he wondered if there was something more.

There had to be.

_________________

Part 22

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The Party’s Crashing Us 01/02 - Clint Barton/Pietro Maximoff - SFW

Title: The Party’s Crashing Us Author: Donnie Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Setting: Stark Tower (Another new one) Pairing: Clint Barton/Pietro Maximoff, Implied Natasha Romanov/Wanda Maximoff Characters: Clint Barton, Pietro Maximoff, Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff, Thor Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance Rating: M Chapters: 1/2 Word Count: 2018 Type of Work: Two-Shot Status: Incomplete Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, AU - Canon Divergent, Fix-It Fic, Post-Age Of Ultron, Pietro’s Alive, Angst, Emotions, Sex in second chapter, Past Abuse, Past Trauma, Canon Disabled Character, Canon Deaf Character, More To Come Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Summary: Clint had been living in a fog since that day in Sokovia. Natasha (and Tony) had just what he needed to clear up his mind. AN: So… I keep writing these two. Between angst and smut I just really need both, evidently, because it’s going to be sad, and then happy, and then maybe sad again. Who knows. xD At any rate, I’ll be working on this between chapters of Predating Predators, which is sort of how it started. I was going to focus on this fic, and then the idea kind of hit for the other fic and it ended up happening before this one was even finished. So, evidently, I just need to keep working on both of them. I'm going to get onto Predating Predators part two next, so don't worry. I hope you guys are as excited for these as I am! Chapter two will be purely NSFW, but this one is fine. Angsty, mostly, but not NSFW. Here we go!

MCU Fic Masterlist Chapter One: Pleasant Surprises ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Clint Barton had always been a fan of Tony Stark. 

Sure, they argued fairly often, and they really didn’t get along unless everyone else was present and there were booze and food and music playing quietly in the background… Okay, so Clint Barton had always been a fan of Tony Stark’s parties, and that couldn’t have been closer to the truth when Natasha strong-armed him out of bed for that evening’s celebrating. Whatever Tony was reveling, Clint had had no desire to have a part in it, but his old friend knew him well enough. She knew what he needed and assured him that this would be better than moping in his room sober before going home to Laura. He hadn’t been the same, not since they returned from Sokovia, and she seemed to be the only one with a full grasp of why. Steve chalked it up to losing someone he wanted to mentor, someone he had only just started to see as a friend. Tony stated that Clint had always been quiet unless he was getting drunk, so it was obvious that he just needed some booze in him. Thor and Wanda had kept their ideas mostly quiet, even if it seemed Thor could still chat off someone’s ear about it. His biggest priority was that neither Clint nor Wanda heard it.  Speaking of, he hadn’t heard much about Wanda, not in a week or so. He figured he was the last person she wanted to see; hell, he was the last person he wanted to see, which was why he’d gotten awfully scruffy since their return.  The party warranted a shave, apparently, if Natasha’s cherry lips curved in a smirk around the words, ‘I think you’ll want to look your best tonight.’ told him anything. At least he was present enough in some part of his mind that he didn’t have to walk out with bath tissue stuck to his face to cover anywhere that he’d messed up. A simple, black V-neck t-shirt clung to his torso, something Nat had left out for him on his bed, and a pair of jeans that were baggy in the places that mattered and tight in the ones that mattered more polished off his look.  Silent as ever, he entered the party not long after Natasha graced everyone with her presence. She kissed cheeks and hands alike, and Clint took a vague note that it seemed she was awfully close to Wanda. It seemed only natural; birds of a feather flocked together, after all. Of course, Natasha and Wanda would be friends. Before he found himself questioning anything further, he turned his entire body away and headed for the bar. Tonight was already going to push him into a bottle, apparently, because the second he got his hands on a beer, he was whisked away by Thor. “--I said ‘No, I don’t. I think--” “Thor--” Clint couldn’t have gotten his attention if he wanted to, not at this rate. He was going on and on so fast that he hardly wanted to pay attention. Fast wasn’t what he needed right now. When the barrage of words didn’t seem to stop, he simply plucked his hearing aids from his ears. The action went unnoticed, and he was thankful for that, simply nodding along whenever Thor looked to him. He offered a soft snort of a laugh every so often when it looked like the blond was incredibly excited, hoping that it was right but not exactly caring. Thor was good-natured enough, he wouldn’t be too hurt if he knew why Clint had wanted to spend his night alone. Footsteps vibrated behind him and he felt a familiar, delicate hand on his shoulder. It took just a second before she slid in front of him, tapping her ear for a second. Turning slightly away from Thor, who had already found someone else to jabber at, he pushed the aids back in and closed his eyes, mouth turning up at one corner and then the other as he readjusted to the sounds around him. Waiting patiently, Nat watched the grumpy look return to his face before he swallowed down the rest of the beer he’d apparently been chugging.  “Yeah?” He finally asked, when her waiting was starting to toy with his buzz. Usually, if she had something to say, she’d say it. Tonight, apparently, he was going to have to guess. “Got a surprise for you, Barton.” She teasingly punched his shoulder and he rose a brow at her instead. “You need to come see, though. I know Steve’s going to want to see you, uh… With your gift.” Confusion was written in the draw of his brow as he stepped forward, following her along like a mindless man with nothing better to do. Maybe that’s what he'd been for the last two weeks.  “You haven’t been yourself for over a month.” She informed, turning to look at him over her shoulder while they walked. Shock fluttered his eyelids and he glanced around to attempt to find the date. It didn’t quite work, but he didn’t exactly have it in him to ask JARVIS right now. In fact, he kind of wished he had another beer.  They rounded a corner and Wanda passed them, holding out a spare beer, the kind Clint liked. He took it with another crease in his brow and a soft grunt of acknowledgment, and she gave him a private, knowing smile. Coming from someone who had once been intent on getting in his head, he had to wonder just what she knew. If she knew anything at all. And if she did… Why was she smiling? Was it some sick enjoyment out of watching his own misery at the same loss she suffered? “Clint.” Natasha whistled and his head jerked to her, a soft, almost apologetic smile on her face, “Almost. Come on. I’m sure you aren’t the only one confused.”  This was a setup. He’d been the reason another teammate died and Nick Fury was trying to punish him if the Widow was giving him that look. Another corner, a set of stairs up to the terrace, and Clint was positive he was going to die. It only perpetuated the thought when the reason he’d climbed the stairs turned to look at him and it felt like a physical blow to the chest. In that same accent, maybe more tired than cocky, Pietro let a lazy smile work over his lips as he spoke. “What? Didn’t see this coming?”  As it turned out, it was Pietro who didn’t see something coming. And, maybe, everyone else in the room. Clint stalked across the floor and lifted the white-haired male from the couch. For a second, Wanda’s hands shimmered red but Natasha held up a hand to get her to wait. Wanda didn’t dare touch his mind, but Pietro’s faltering smile had her ready to chance it. When Clint all but yanked him into a tight embrace and made a choked sound, she lost her breath almost the same time that her brother did.  Pietro let out a shaky breath when he realized that, while he wasn’t entirely immobile, he was being clutched in a good way, and wrapped his arms around the other’s back, just under his armpits. With flat palms pressed to Clint’s shoulder blades, he gasped a little as the elder pressed his nose to his neck and inhaled deeply. All that it took was two words to topple Clint into a shaking, sobbing mess.  “You’re alive.”  At least his dear friend had the foresight to shoo everyone from the room and keep an eye on Tony in order to give them some semblance of privacy.  “I… I am.” When was the last time someone other than his sister had hugged him? He couldn’t remember a touch that didn’t leave him aching that was from someone else. Clint certainly had him reeling as he staggered a little closer to finish squeezing all the air out from between them.  “You’re alive.” Clint repeated, unashamed of the level of brokenness in his voice. His lips grazed the younger male’s forehead and the crown of his hair, and Pietro stilled entirely for a moment, holding his breath. He waited for a hundred things to happen and nothing really did, instead, he was oddly safe, oddly warm and his cheeks burned something awful. Above him, muttered words sounded almost like a prayer, and he didn’t bother asking what they meant. For the first time in a long time, someone other than Wanda was touching him, holding him, and he felt exhilarated.  Pietro Maximoff had never believed in soul mates, never once thought he would find anything that made him feel like he was the only person in the world for someone, but here he was, resting his head against Clint’s shoulder. He hummed absently to the beat of the song playing softly downstairs, and neither of them really knew who began it, but they began to rock together, slowly. It didn’t take long at all before Pietro’s eyes had drooped so low he figured it was better just to close them. Another beat passed and Clint’s lips parted, words dancing from his lips that made the speedster’s pulse jump in his chest. You keep your distance with a system of touch And gentle persuasion I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much? Pietro could tell his cheeks were warm, and he nestled his face into the joint of Clint’s neck and shoulder. It felt too good to be held, to have those soft words sang so gently into his hair, and it was drawing him into a safe headspace. Without thinking, he leaned up suddenly and took in the other’s steely eyes with those shockingly blue ones. Smiling sweetly, disarmingly, he leaned in to press his lips to the elder’s, working the softest, glossiest mouth against Clint’s rough lips.  At first, the elder man was still and stiff, staring down at the other before finally letting his eyes slide closed. Hands slipping down to Pietro’s hips, following an unconscious suggestion from those too-quick hands, he leaned into him, bringing the other in close. Breath mingling as their foreheads pressed together, Pietro’s eyelids fluttered as he looked into Clint’s eyes. For a moment he held his breath, as if afraid that this would disappear if he let loose a harsh breath. It didn’t stop Clint from the ragged panting, his dark eyes searching the other’s emotionless face. Pietro was good at hiding himself if he truly needed to, and he must have felt an odd need. Biting his lip, Clint opened his mouth a second later to try and apologize, but he was silenced by another kiss. “Do not speak.” Pietro whispered into his mouth, letting his words be swallowed down, “We may not be permitted, but just for tonight.”  As much as he wanted to agree that it would be a one-time thing, Clint knew he wouldn’t be able to get the silver-haired speed demon out of his head. The almost crushing grip he had on the other’s thin hips was enough to tell him that. “What makes you think I wouldn’t--” But he had to stop that thought before it ran away from him, “Should we find a spare room?” Even if Pietro ended up backing out, at the very least he could hold him and remind himself that the kid wasn’t dead. “Da.” Pietro informed softly, his mind focused a little more on preparing for what was inevitable. The best he’d done in the past probably would remain in the top spot, as he’d found most men couldn’t exactly bring themselves to make it good for the pair of them. The tenseness in his back only had Clint’s hands smoothing down his back until he relaxed. Without warning, he lifted the speedster and held him like a princess against his chest, starting them for the highest point the Tower offered.  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ AN: Alright, there we have it! Chapter one is DONE! ; u; Chapter two will be pure smut so like, prepare yourselves. Probably some angst, too, to be honest, but we’ll have fun.

Hi! I read your rant on why glee was so poorly done (I agree completely). I was wondering if you could explain your connection with the characters (specifically Brittany and Santana)? Why do you care so much about characters from a show you don’t really like or agree with? Or why do you continue to write using them? Just curious!

So first, I debated for a long time about this, but eventually decided to just give the really personal and really long answer partially because this is a situation that has popped up again and partially because being a fic writer is very personal, so my answer is going to be really personal anyways. You can’t spend most of your time writing inside the mind of someone else without leaving a bit of yourself behind.

Second, I’m not explaining this situation to get sympathy or anything. It’s just what I’ve been through and what I’m going through again, but the difference is that this time around I’m in a much better place than I was last time. I’m more comfortable with myself and more settled, I’m not letting myself go into a depressive spiral like last year, and I have much healthier coping methods this time around.

And third, this is kinda a contemplation on my mental health now, so I’m mostly going ahead and posting to remind myself of how far I’ve come and since this is my personal blog and I Can lol

So! More below the cut. If the cut doesn’t work on mobile, as it is wont to do, I’m so sorry, Tumblr is barely functional at the best of times so just scroll really fast lmao.

So I got into Glee right in the middle of a really rough time in my life. Late last November we found out that my little sister—who’s still in high school—had an aggressive tumour in her knee, and none of the doctor’s could figure out exactly what it was. She had a biopsy in December though we didn’t get the results until February since they didn’t know what it was, but it showed it there was like a 0.01% of it being cancerous. When it had been MRI’d in October it was the size of a loonie and aggressively growing, but when they removed it the following March it had shrunk to like the size of a pea. They sent that off for testing but there wasn’t enough of a sample to figure it out but they think it might have been a burned out cancerous tumour. And so they removed it and scraped the bone around it, threw some cement in my sister’s knee, and called it a day. Flash forward to two weeks ago, my sister had a cheek up because it’d been a year since the found out about it, and instead of getting the news that everything was fine we instead found out that whatever the fuck it is—because they still don’t know—is back and is now growing above the cement and in an entirely different spot than the first tumour. So now we’re back to the waiting game to figure out what the fuck is going on in my sister’s knee, since the radiologists are still puzzling over her new MRI from this December.

So long story short, my sister is still a certified medical weirdo and I spent the last bit of November 2017 until about February thinking my 16 year-old sister had bone cancer. Needless to say, I was in a really bad place last year and my concentration was shot all to hell. (If you’ve been following me for a while you might remember me explaining why I don’t read or write Hard Angst? This was the depressive spiral I was talking about. This was what I was dealing with and how I discovered that Angsty fic makes my mental health so much worse.)

So that’s what I was dealing with when I got into Glee read: only Brittana lol and flash back a little bit more and I’ll spare you the details of my Epiphany Moment, but I came out as gay to myself, and then came out to my mom in the end of October, so that was still New and Fresh for me. I wanna say I probably started watching Glee again, read: only Brittana scenes lol probably a week after I found out about my sister’s tumour? It was after that but before my finals that semester started, and I literally couldn’t focus or concentrate on anything—because aside from dealing with that, I also lived 1.5 hours away from my family, so my auntie stayed with my sister and my mom so they could all be there for each other, and just because of circumstance I was alone with my thoughts most of the time.

Then I was looking for something to listen to while studying or working on end of term assignments or whatever and I stumbled upon s5’s Valerie. And okay so I’ve Known about Glee since it came out. I watched the pilot but never really got into it, my friend lent me her box set of s1 and I got as far as Terri admitting to her fake pregnancy and went “yep too far for me”, I remember when Cory died because I’m Canadian and he was our Canadian sweetheart, I even remember when Brittana got married because it was all over tumblr and I was at that stage where “I’m invested in gay successes and characters because my cousin is gay and I support gay people and for No Other Reason” lmao. So like, I Knew about Glee, and I Knew about how, uh, let’s say Particular the fandom was over the years. So I watched s5′s Valerie and thought “hey these characters are really cute together and from my Vague Memories I’m pretty sure they’re the show’s lesbian couple?” And I looked it up, saw they were Childhood Friends (that one (1) canon line be damned) to Lovers, which is probably the trope I’m Weakest for lol, and basically just fell down the rabbit hole.

At the beginning of me getting into Glee, it was basically because I had just come out about a month and a bit prior, and I was going through probably the darkest time in my life, and these two characters were about the only thing that was distracting me from my sister’s tumour so I clung to them. I had stopped writing (omg sorry to anyone who followed me from the b99 childhood neighbours au, I think about it being unfinished Constantly and it Haunts me to this day) from about the time we found out about it in November to when the biopsy results came back in the first week of February and we found out that the chances of it being cancerous were like 0.01%. In that time I had been watching Glee again, read: Brittana scenes only lmao and fell in love with the characters themselves beyond “they were distracting me from hard shit,” and so the day we found out the tumour wasn’t cancerous was the day I sat down and found I could finally write again, and I realized I actually had a story in my head, which resulted in you were the choice I made before I knew what the other choices were. So I wrote that and posted it in February this year and got an overwhelmingly positive response to it, past anything I had ever imagined considering the show had ended like 3 years ago lol. 

So I guess what I’m trying to say with all of this rambling is that the characters came into my life at the exact right time in the exact right way. Santana’s coming out storyline was not the exact same as mine, but I was also pretending to be somebody I wasn’t in high school, I understand how terrifying it is to live in a Small Town and worry about someone finding out, my grandma died earlier in 2017 and responded poorly to my cousin coming out years before, so the s6 scenes were so bittersweet to watch. And I don’t know exactly why I fell in love with Brittany, but her own storyline in s2 when she was learning to stand up for herself is something I Know, her incredible patience and understanding and snark is what I aspire to, and the fact that people are Constantly underestimating her and she’s struggled with being seen as good enough is so familiar. And their relationship is so strong and tender despite the continued thrashings it took and I admire that so much—even if most of my admiration comes from fic depictions and not canon (s6 aside) lmao.

So yeah, as cheesy as it sounds, even though I think Glee did some good but overall handled their responsibility to their narrative and their audience Horribly, Brittana as characters and as a relationship were the only thing distracting me from obsessing and panicking and spiralling over my sister’s tumour, their storylines helped me understand my own coming out process a little better, and, probably the biggest thing for me, was that they were what got me back into writing again. So I’m always going to love them so much because they’re complex and real (even if most of that comes from fanon interpretations), but the reason they mean so much to me is because I fell in love with them when everyone else in my life was shitty and completely out of my control.

She Who Never Cried Wolf | Prologue

Another collab with @kitten-dont​! Pairing: BTS X Reader Genre: Angst | Gang!AU, Wolf!AU Words: 4k+

After being let go to live on her own by her family, y/n’s only choice is to move to her old hometown in a modern day mansion. Life goes by until y/n gets mixed up with some of the largest, most powerful gangs in the world. She soon comes to find that there’s more to the world then she could’ve ever imagined, and she’s not complaining. 

Kitten’s Note: Okay~ so we’re finally getting this series on the road. I’ve had this written for a while, but I never edited it. But now, here is this prologue.

Bun’s Note: I’m so hyped for this series as well!! Every single one of Kitten’s brainchildren are amazing, and speaking as someone who knows vaguely where this is going I’m so ready!!! Please enjoy this prologue and Kitten’s incredible writing!! 

This chapter was written by @kitten-dont​!!

My Masterlist || Kitten’s Masterlist

This time of the day had always been your favorite. The wind would blow throughout your hair, a nice contrast to the heat coming down from the sun. Birds would be chirping and you could hear frogs singing in a pond just to your right, making music for you to hear. The courtyard you were sitting in made these types of days all the better, a nice place to stay as you sat and wait.

Just like always, a wolf strolled through, stopping and starting at you for a second. It's coat was a light orange, almost sand like in color, and shone beautifully in the sun.  Being larger in size, you thought about how easily it could take down other creatures- including you. But you never worried about it, instead simply watching as it sat down on it's haunches, cocking its head to the side in a puppy-like fashion. You watched while it stayed still, waiting for the signal you would give it anytime you saw each other.

A smile and a wave. That was all.

It almost seemed to nod it's head at you before standing up, turning around and making its way back on the path to wherever it was going.

That type of meeting had been going on for longer than you could remember. You would sit in the courtyard, be it spring, summer, winter, or fall,  looking out for the animal. It would stay on the premises all year long, not a single day passing when you didn't see it. But your sighting wasn't always in the courtyard.

Sometimes you would be walking down the hall of your home, looking out the huge glass windows that made up a wall on one side and spot the animal, doing the same gesture as you just had. Other times, you saw it when you were about to go to bed, standing high up on your balcony and looking down to watch it go into the woods surrounding the premises. It shocked you at first that saw it so often, considering your house was one of the largest mansions in the world, but it happened so often that at this point it was expected. Now that you think about it, if you didn't see it, you would be more worried than not.

Getting out of your trance, you smiled to yourself, looking back down at the phone in your hands to pass time, mindlessly reading the screen.

Another hour or so passed before anyone came to get you. You were scrolling through your phone, reading a recent article before the sound of a twig snapping behind you  alerted you.You could who was there, smirking to yourself and pretending like you were oblivious when you felt their presence behind you. Seeing their hand reach over your shoulder, they grabbed for  your phone. Barely missing the man's wrist as it took your device, you got up, turning and facing the him as he blocked you from its reach.

You laughed, trying to grab the device from the man in front of you who was currently holding it above his head, the golden strands of his hair almost blinding you in the light.

“Ooo what're you looking at?” He lead the phone to his face, looking over the article you were previously reading, a large smile spreading his lips.

“Noé, give it back.” He was dodging all your advances, taking joy as you failed to lay a hand on him.

Noé had been one of your personal servants since you were seven, still staying with you even now at the age of eighteen.

Taken in by your family at five years old, he was found on streets of France during one of your parents trips. He trained for seven years, doing who knows what, before being assigned to watch over you when he turned twelve. Still watching over you, he was twenty three, five years older than you and having practically raised you for eleven. The fact that you had grown up together made him more of a big brother than a servant, your relationship making your life comfortable.

Grabbing at his grey t-shirt, you pulled him so that he was unsteady, using his lack of attention to grab your phone before tripping him. Falling to the ground, he looked up at you, fixing his outfit when you started speaking.

“It's about all the gangs that have been showing up. Apparently, a couple of them are getting together and forming larger ones.” You watched as his once happy smile faded for a split second before coming back again, the change so fast that you would've thought it never went away in the first place. Opening his mouth to question him, another person was heard, making you forget what you were going to say.

“What’re you guys doing in here?” You heard a female voice come from behind the both of you, causing your head to spin around to show a taller girl with long thick black hair.

“Olive!” Smiling, you ran over to her, tackling her to the ground while engulfing her in your arms. She laughed, her chest shaking your head with every breath she took in.

Olive, or as her full name is, Olivia Gayoso. She was your second assigned servant. Adopted from a family in Spain. She had been with you for nine years, serving you since she was ten. She had trained with Noé starting at five, him helping her after having trained a couple years longer than her. Even though Noé was older by two years, Olivia always took care of you both like an older sister, insisting that you listen to her.

“Hey y/n. How are you?” She wrapped her arms around you, hugging you back as Noé sat down next to her.

“Good. I was just reading something before you both came. How are you?” You pushed yourself off of her, helping her to sit straight up so you could all talk better.

“That’s good. I'm doing fine, busy as always, but better now that I saw you.” She reached out and grabbed your cheeks, pulling on them as Noé laughed at the face you were making.  Letting go, she sat back, resting all her weight on her hands, and closing her eyes as the wind blew through her hair. “What were you reading?”

You rubbed your cheeks not answering, while pouting as you thought about how you looked, sure they were now red. Noé sighed, choosing to speak up, answering for you as his voice became more serious than before.

“She was reading an article about the gangs and their activity.” Olivia’s eyes opened quickly as her body seemed to tense. She sat up correctly and looked at Noé, and expression that you didn't understand on both of their faces.

“What's wrong?” You looked at them both, not liking that there was something you didn't know going on between them. You had all grown up together, everything being shared between each of you despite your age differences. Now though, the air around you was tense and made you uneasy, but as soon as you had said something, they seemed to go back to normal.

Olivia cleared her throat, getting up and dusting her jeans off before helping both you and Noé up.

“Nothing is wrong, I just remembered what we had originally came here for.” Noé nodded his head, continuing to explain as you started to walk inside.

“You're schedule is pretty busy today, but don't worry, we'll be here for most of it.” Nodding your head, you stepped inside, the coolness of the house prickling your skin.

“First, you have tutoring for three hours. Then, you have vocal for an hour. After that, you have dance and defense for four hours. And lastly, you'll help with making dinner then eat, getting the rest of the time to yourself.”

Sighing, you looked up at them.

“Why do I have to do all of this again? I never leave the house anyways, and I don't know anyone except all the servants and a few of Father's friends.” Noé turned around, petting you on your head as you all stopped in the middle of the hall.

“I know, but it's what your Father wants.” He stopped his movements, looking down at you. “Why are you asking this now though? You've been doing all of this since you were little, what's wrong with it now?”

You looked down at the floor, both Noé and Olivia looking at you with worried expressions.

“That’s the problem. I've been doing all of this since I was little.” You looked up at their faces, trying hard to convey what you were thinking. “I learn, but don't get to do anything with all that I know. I'm taught how to sing and dance, but I never perform for anyone. I know defense, but I've never had to use it. None of what I do makes sense.”

They were silent the whole time you were speaking. They still didn't open their mouth, giving you one more chance to speak.

“I want to do something other than sit in this house my whole life. I'm eighteen, and I've never been outside before, and that's not right.” Finally being done, they both glanced at each other, almost looking guilty of something. Olivia walked over to you, both of her hands on your shoulders as she looked in your eyes.

“We know y/n, and we feel bad about that, really. Sadly, there's nothing we can do about it. So come on, let's go to the first thing on your schedule.” She started walking as you stood there for a second, watching her leave. You felt as though what you had said fell on deaf ears.

Disappointment washed over you as your head hung low, your body following behind her, and Noé walking beside you with an arm swung around your shoulders, trying to comfort you.

After the grueling hours of your schedule were finally over, you started to walk back to your room. The sun was long gone from the sky as stars started to appear outside, filling up the night in a beautiful way. You walked down the large hallways, passing by other house servants who waved and greeted you on their way.

The servants weren’t really how servants were depicted in the movies you had watched, or books you had read. None of them were dressed in any sort of suits or fancy attire, most of them dressing casual with jeans or shorts, leggings or sun dresses here and there. They were all from different parts of the world, so you knew many different languages due growing up around them. The ages of all the servants differed in many years, the youngest being Olivia at 21 and the oldest being your father's main servant at 67.

Nobody spoke very formally, unless there were special guests in the house or a party going on. You were allowed to wear whatever you wanted, sometimes a crop top with shorts, or a sweatshirt with pants. The house was pretty lenient on everything, but they all did their assigned jobs well. You were comfortable where you lived, there were hardly any rules, except for two: Never leave the premises, and Don't go onto the right side of the house unless instructed to.

Even though your home was one of the largest in the world, you still felt trapped. Those two rules had kept you confined your whole life. Even with all the stories the servants told you about the outside world, and all the different ways they tried to bring their culture to you, you couldn't help but feel like you were missing out on a lot.

You sighed as you reached your room, opening the large doors to reveal your even larger room. Walking over to your bed, you flopped down, rolling on your side, and facing the glass doors that opened to your patio.

“I just wanna go outside.” You said the words as a whisper, hoping that they would reach the ears of anyone. But then again, no one was in the room with you. Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath in, you sat up and opened then again, regrouping yourself and your thoughts. Looking around once more though, you saw a note sitting on your bedside table, your name written in a fancy lettering on the outside.

“Oh? What's this?” Gabbing it and picking it up, you flipped it over, opening the envelope and taking the letter out.

'Dear y/n,

      When you see this letter, come to my office immediately. I have something important that I need to discuss with you.

                                      Father’

Reading it, you immediately got up, already heading out the door to where he was.

'Why would he want to see you? You hadn't talked to him in weeks, maybe even months, so what could be so important now?’ Your feet shuffled through the halls, downstairs and upstairs weaving through the house. Your heart was beating fast in your chest, light sweat starting to roll down your face as your breathing sped up.

He had asked to see you, not only that, but in his office to, his office that was located in an area that you were never allowed to enter- the right side of the house.

It took you what felt like hours to finally reach his doors. It was eerily silent, no one around, which was unusual for this time of day. You turned you head straight, looking at the wood faced in front of you. The doors looked huge to you, the presence of your father prominent even outside of them. If you felt intimidated in the hallway, how would you feel actually inside the room?

The thought scared you slightly as you took a deep breath in, placing your hand over your heart in an attempt to calm it down.

'It’s fine y/n. He's just your father. Nothing bad is going to happen. You'll be okay. Just breathe.” Giving yourself a pep talk, you looked straight forward, a wave of courage flowing through your body as you stepped past the doors.

Once inside, the air seemed even worse than you had imagined, all pep talk and courage being left outside as you close the doors. The sound of them shutting seemed to startle you, as you looked around and spotted him, but he wasn't alone.

Noé and Olivia stood by his side, their faces shooting up to look at you as they heard you come in. You father looked up at you, his face serious as he called you over.

“Ah, y/n. Please, come in.” You walked forward slowly at his call, stealing glances at Noé and Olivia who tried to keep their gaze from you.

“What am I here for? What are Noé and Olive doing here?” Your father looked you in the eye and then at them, their bodies visibly slouched as they heard their name.

“Would you like to sit first, or how about something to drink instead?” You father pointed to the chair which you sat in as you shook your head.

“No I'm fine, thank you though. But really, why am I here.” The silence in the room got heavier as you heard him breath in. Slowly, he raised a glass of water to his lips and drank, the time allowing for more unease to slip in as you felt your hands starting to feel sweaty.

“You’ve been doing good around here, haven't you.” You nodded your head, showing you were listening as he continued.

“I've been busy, so I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you or talk to you as much as I've wanted to lately.” You kept nodding, remembering how close you both used to be. When you were little, he was always with you. Your mother, him, and you used to cook together everyday, making meals for the whole house. Both of your parents would call all of the servants working to play large games of hide and seek and tag with you, movie nights would be held on Fridays, large festivals in the courtyards representing different countries on Tuesday- you were always happy. You were still content of course, but everything had gone downhill after while.

Death had arisen in the family when you were six, the whole of the house mourning for quite some time. Your father tried to keep everything intact, still doing all the different activities you used to. But months later work started to pile up for your dad, leaving Noé and Olivia in the positions they're in now. It was hard at first for you, but you had gotten use to it now. That's why all of this just made the whole ordeal even more confusing for you.

“I've been fine, but why are you calling me in here now?” The room went silent as the tension in the room seemed to reach its peak, the largest amount of tension you’d ever felt before. Your father got up, walking around Noé and Olivia moving so he was leaning against the front of his desk.

You stared at him, body frozen as you waited for him to speak. You could feel your heartbeat against your chest lightly, trying to anticipate what he was going to say, but nothing that you thought of could have compared to what came.

“You're moving out of this house.” Your mind went completely blank as you stared at him, nothing registering until a couple of second later.

“What?” Your voice came out as a whisper, the words sound like a breath, but being picked up by your father.

“After thinking for awhile, I think it's time you go out and see the world. There's so much that you don't know, and being trapped behind these walls isn't going to help.” He reached behind him, your eyes following to find an envelope the exact same as the on in your rooms held in his hands. He handed it to you, watching as you opened it to reveal multiple bills of money. “This should last you for a year, your flights ticket is in there, and you'll be leaving tonight.”

You reached searched through the money, finding the ticket with a flight set to leave three hours from now. You were excited, finally being able to leave the house after all these years. The smile on your face was stuck there, ears thoroughly listening to the rest of what he said.

“You'll be moving to a house six hours by flight away from here. School will start in a week. You'll be on your own from now on, we won't be in contact anymore.” The last sentence confused you as the happiness in you started to fade, a distant sense of alarm beginning to build within you.

“We won't be in contact anymore? What do you mean?” He sighed, his eyes looking into yours as they filled with sorrow.

“From now on you are not a part of this family. You will not be allowed back here, and must find a means of living as no more money will be given to you once you run out.” The tone of his voice was empty, void of emotion, and you felt your hand start to shake. Fear welled up in you, multiple emotions moving through your veins as tears stung the edges of your eyes.

“Why? Have I done anything? Is it because I didn't practice hard enough? I'll work harder, I just-” Olivia cut you off, moving and wrapping her arms around you, stroking your hair as her voice came out, just as strained as yours.

“Shh, shh, you didn't do anything. You've been perfect. This isn't your fault.” You sniffles filled the air while you spoke.

“What about Noé and Olive, will they come with me too?” The thought of them being with you made your heart calm down a little and your breathing more stable. You knew that everything would be okay if they just stayed by your-

“No, they'll be staying here with me. But they will walk you to the car that'll take you to the airport. Speaking of which, it's time for you to go now.” Your heart completely stopped along with all feeling around you. How could he just push you out of the only place you've ever known without a second thought. Olivia released you suddenly, walking around your chair to stand in front of your father, clearly as surprised as you were about this.

“But sir, you said that-” He cut her off, his voice harsh and his eyes flashing in warning.

“I said that she is leaving now, and that you are taking her to the car. All of her stuff has already been packed and is waiting in the trunk. Once you are done, report back here.” He turned around, walking back to sit behind his desk. Oliva was also moving, following in his direction until being stopped by Noé.

“Come on, let's go. There's nothing we can do now.” She shook her head, clearly angry by what was going on, but unable to speak her mind. Walking to your chair, Noé grasped your arm, lightly helping you up onto numb legs that trembled under the sudden weight.

Silently, all three of you walked down the hallways. Nobody could say anything, as this whole thing didn't seem real. Noé’s arm was slung around you, giving some form of comfort as Olivia lead you outside and held open the car door for you.

Looking down at the seat in front of you, tears began to flow down your face again. So many questions filled your head that it felt as though it would explode. The pounding sensation you felt flowed through your body from top to bottom, leaving not a single place calm. Your body was frozen, unable to move as you felt two pairs of arms around you.

“We're so sorry. There was nothing we could do. We- we really didn't know that this was how it was going to turn out.” Noé’s voice came from your right ear as Olivia's came from the left.

“We thought that- we honestly didn't know that you would be alone like this.” They were both crying now, voices wreaked as they both took in large gasps of air. You realized that this wasn't hard on just you, but them too. You couldn't let them be sad that you were leaving, they didn't deserve that. Wrapping on arm around both of theirs, and lifting your other to wipe your eyes, you cleared your throat.

“It's fine. I've wanted to be able to see what the world was like for awhile.” You removed their hands and got out of their grasp, turning around so that you could face them. Smiling, you dried their faces, holding their both of their cheeks in separate hands. This would be the last time you would ever see them again. The two most important people in your life were about to be gone forever.

Looking into both of their eyes, you noticed that they must of realized the same thing. Olivia started lightly chuckling, followed by Noé and then you. The sounds filled the air, happiness mixed with sorrow leaving the only thing to be heard in the night. Looking back at the large house, you felt wetness on your cheek.

“I always wanted to see the outside world, but I never thought it would happen like this.” Shaking your head, you closed your eyes. The air blew through your hair, a cool and calming feeling contrasting that of the heat filling your veins as you thought of everything you would be leaving behind.

You felt two pairs of arms wrap around you, two bodies softly cried by your ears as three bodies started shaking in unison. You put your own arms around them, your face going into the crook of one of their necks as your tears mixed onto their skin.

“We’ll always be by your side, promise.” You heard Olivia’s voice from you left, her voice cracking with every syllable as you felt her tears hit the skin of your neck.

“No matter the time, no matter the place, we will be there. Even if you cannot see us, we’ll be right by you.” Noé's voice fell on your right side, a pair of arms around your back holding you tighter as you felt everything inside of you shatter. You didn’t hold your voice back, loud sobs leaving you mixed with gasps for air that you didn’t feel reach your lungs.

The world didn’t seem to move, the sky stuck in a pink and purple contrast, white clouds fit in with them. Black silhouettes of birds flew through the colors standing atop the brick house that you had know your whole life, but were never allowed to step foot inside again.