I want a batfam fic when Jason dissapears, so Steph and Cass break into his place to investigate, and all they find is a note like that:

I got married and am now on a space honeymoon, where we get married at every single planet we can.

Xoxo

Jay

Ps.

Whoever found it - Get everybody's (especially B's) reactions on camera and give to me as the best wed gift in the world, and you'll be my favourite forever.

If you're B - Fuck you, you always ruin my fun, and you're not allowed at my place, so if it's you I hate you. Fuck you, B.

Is it a joke? Did he really eloped? And with who? Because he sure as hell didn't tell anyone. Like, WAS HE EVEN DATING?

Anyway, Steph and Cass have a blast out of it.

England, XVI century

Some guy: The word is Henry the VIII is getting a new wife.

Some other guy: Aw shit, not again!

So I'm sad bc my post about Tim Drake got more than 350 notes, and my post about one of my favourite birds got none. I don't even like Tim Drake that much! He's just funny and I wanted to share! My bird is funny too? Why does nobody loves it? ☹️

My dear tumblr friends, look at those little guys! Look!

They're super cute, but also looking like they're constantly judging you.

Anyway, this is a fieldfare or, in my native language - kwiczoł. As a kid I always called them a little eagles, and they may not look like eagles, but if they were bigger, they would look more like an eagle than an eagle does and I stand by that.

And I'm not biased in saying that kwiczoł is more fitting, bc kwik/kwiczeć you can translate to squeal, and this one squeaks like crazy.

But! It's not the reason it's one of my fav birds - definitely top 5.

Fieldfare is a little bird, but there are smaller ones. And, fieldfares are protective of pretty much everything that's smaller than them and a bird. Especially droździki - redwings, likes to group with them. And fieldfares are just like 'Yeah, sure, you can join our little family. You're small and actually pretty similiar to us. New cousin everybody!'.

Anyway, it became a thing in bird world, that in the area that fieldfares have their nests, a lot of little ones are too, so they can use them as protection.

And it's a wild protection. They don't have sharp beaks or claws. What they have is well functioning renal system. So, when they are being attacked, they literally poop-splash their enemies away. Or when any little bird is attacked, really. They're very protecive.

Also, after birdies leave the nests, they sometimes still get feed by their parents. It's just that sweet overbearing parenting when you see your child go and are like 'Maybe they're too thin... I should feed them a little more. Just in case.'.

I fucking love them.

So, a quick fic rec:

Unraveling by audreycritter

It's Jason Todd-centric and visits the most imporant scenes from his life. It's really unnerving, but it's got a happy ending, and we're here for it. I've read it a few times and I like it more and more.

It also got a podfic by frecklebomb, so check it out too, they really made it perfect, with mood and all.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14193459

Sometimes it's just like that:

I'm just sitting on the couch, peacefuly writing my little fanfiction, when suddenly appear some character I despise, and definitely wasn't planning on including in that fic.

So I'm all like 'what are you doing here, *insert character*? Who invited you to the party, *insert character*? Because it sure as hell wasn't me!'

So like Bruce/Batman is super overdramatic. Like we know it. Reather than going to therapy he decided to dress up as a bat and beat up criminals so that they go into coma. And beside, I know that him taking on a bat fursona is because of his fear of them or whatever, but he could be effective with a demon mask or something. But no! He has to be dramatic, and take on that cute-ass animal and make it feard by everyone, because if he's scared of bats, than everybody else have to too.

And they're so cute!

But. The thing is, vigilatism, heroism, villainism, it's all a bit overdramatic. So all of his gaggle of children are dramatic too. But like, it's an unnecessary flip there, and insulting criminals by puns there, not going all emo and 'I am vengance, I am justice yada yada'.

Also, how he's just always towards the JL. He won't tell them anything, he's gonna keep his cards close and let them have the littlest he can. And like he'll make everything as dramatic as it can be. Like there was that scene in the JL cartoon if I remember correctly, where GL was irritating him (as per usual), and Batman, instead of talking back or ignoring him, stole his rong and was like 'at least i can do shit without a piece of alien jewlery'. It's dramatic as fuck! Like, you didn't had to do that, man!

And that way, I came to Jason freaking Todd, who looked at that man and said 'I can do everything he did better'. So he went on his little 'RH is better Batman than Batman ever was yada yada' rampage, and then made Bruce's overdramaticness look like a preeschoolers tantrum. He went all in.

His name? Red Hood? It may look unoriginal, taking the same method to choosing name as Bruce, but it's just perfect dramatic irony. Bruce don't know how Jason chose his name, but he does and it's all for shit and giggles, so that he'll havea breakdown when he'll find out RH's identity.

And if we're on it. His whole identity reveal, confrontation with Joker shit? It was planned. He was practicing his monologue for a moth every night before bed.

And the Titans Tower. Like, I don't really like that, but that horryfyingly-hillarious image of Jayson in Robin suit? It's priceless. I've seen those posts where people were like 'did he buy it on etsy? Sex shop? Or maybe he did it with his own two hands for three months straight so it'll look perfect?', and it's always so funny.

He decided that he's gonna outrun Bruce in every category there is, and he almost succeed. He failed, bc he doesn't have a gaggle of children running after him. (Unless you count Generation Outlaw when he had his little team to train and it was super cool. Maybe he did beat Bruce at it. They went on their own at least and aren't that traumatised by him as every batkid is by Bruce, so...)

Ok, so is it only me who finds Tim's rise to heroing hillarious?

Bc consider: everyone have their traumatic original story, especially in batfam (Cass's whole life, Dami's upbringing, Jay's street life, Dick's parents, Steph's father, Duke's parent. Actually everyone's parents wtv), and then there is Tim. He's rich white boy that canonically was not abused by his parents, only in fanon, that is weirdly obsessed with Dick Grayson. Not even Robin or Nightwing. Dick Grayson and his motherfucking summersault. He didn't plan on becoming Robin, it just happend bc heis sense of duty didn't let him just turn his back on Batman's villain origin storry. And then it was supposed to be Dick back as Robin, but he said 'oh fuck no' and that was it. So Tim was like 'welp, I guess it's only me' and got himself a job without any profit. And then it was just like 'it's actually fun, i'm gonna blow shit up and mess with ppl' and that was it, he was gone for heroism forever.

And then as Robin and later Red Robin he's got a shittone of trauma, but it's after. He literally don't have any deeply rooted motive for becoming a vigilante, just that he was only one that figured out who Batman was and was to nosy to just turn his back on it.

So yeh. Tim is just funny like that.

And it's all actually even funnier when you realise that he's one of the most unhinged one of Batfam. I mean they all are, but he's the one that went on crazy andventure looking for Bruce, got Ra's obsessed with him, destroyed LoA, lost his spleen and tried to clone his dead bf 99 times.

Jason Todd fanfiction (almost)

Tw: normal dc level of triggers I guess?

It's a monologue that I wrote for Jason in the fic that I never finished, but I kinda like it and it pretty much shows how I see The Batarang Incident tm. So yeah.

For a little context, Jason is talking with Dick after a drama with Bruce about Jason's feelings towards him and utrh confrontation between them came out, and Dick was like 'you can't expect B to break his moral code yada yada'.

"I think you greatly misunderstand some things. I obviously wanted, still want, Bruce to kill Joker. But I always knew he wouldn't do it. If he was to, it would be years ago, after my death. So I never expected Bruce to kill him. I'm not that stupid. What I wanted, was for him not to save him. So I gave him a choice to let me kill him, or kill me. He didn't do either, obviously, but his choice pointed what he would rather do. He threw a batarang at me, sliced my neck, and then took Joker and left me in a burning building rigged to blow up. And I didn't die, but it was pure luck. The wound that I had, it would kill any normal person. I didn't die because of Lazarus Pit, that gave me a little bonus to healing. But Bruce didn't know me. So for all he knew, I would die. And apparently he never miss. So tell me. Am I that bad? Is Bruce as good as you make him look? I have an excellent reason to hate and don't trust him, even erasing every other shit he's done."

I want to write Stephanie Brown so bad, but she's so complicated I just feel wrong doing it! She's so complex, and has so much trauma, and it's trauma so not close to my expirience I don't know what to do. I want to write Steph's Robin, I want to write about Steph's baby. I want to write her relationship with Babs, and I want to write her hatered for Bruce and her father. I want to write her with Leslie and with Tim and with Cass. I want to give her justice. But I'll just stay where I am, reading other people's fics. That's fine.

Jason Todd Fanfiction

Tw: death, religious trauma, mentions of drugs, violence and homelessness

So yeah, I had a rough week, and on easter my religious trauma have the time of life, and I remembered that Jason canonicaly grew up catholic. So did I. It was easy from there. It's rough, not edited, and that's why it's for now only here, I'll get it on ao3 later, after some smoothing over.

When Catherine fell ill, she said 'it's a part of God's plan'.

Jason didn't really understood it then, he was 6, but he knew his mom was strong and smart and knew everything, so he agreed, and went play with his neighbours.

When the mony was tight, she took him to church and prayed. He kneelt beside her, but didn't really know what to do. He knew the Lord's Prayer, but it never felt right. It was hard to belive there was some big guy up there, that loved them, and yet made them live in an apartment with mold and non-airthight windows. It just seemd counterproductive. If you love someone, you should wsnt the best for them. Like his mom wanted the best for him. But his mom prayed, and his mom knew best, so he knelt beside her and prayed along.

When Willis got arrested, his mom said that god will help them. She said they should prey, and so they did. Jason thought it was stupid, but didn't said anything.

When Willis went to prison, his mom took him to the church, again, and told him to pray to god for help. He knelt beside her, but didn't prey. He knew there wasn't anyone there listening to him. And even if there was, he for sure didn't care for them.

When his mom got worse, and her medicine was too expensive, so she had to take the other 'medicine', she often sent him to aunty Mei next door. Jason knew what drugs were, and he wasn't stupid. He knew it didn't really help his mom, but so did her prayers, and drugs were at least real. And she wasn't in pain so much. That had to be enough. When his mom was too weak to get up on sunday, aunty Mei took him to the mass instead of her. He didn't tell his aunty that it was bullshit, because she would get angry and tell his mom, and his mom would be sad, because she still believed. So he went silently and on their way out he picked up a few dollars from the collection. If he had to be there, he would at least do something useful. It was always a little more to their budget, a little less of his mom's worry.

When his mom died, he cursed god out. He screamed and cried and sweared and he hated god, hated the world, hated his dad, hated his mom, hated all his aunties and uncles, and above all, he hated himself. When he was done, he packed up all the money left, his warmest clothes, a few photos he hidden in his favourite book, everything that looked like it was worth something, so he could sell it, soap, all the food that was left, a pack of cigarettes, his dad's old pocketknife and a tire iron. He stuffed it all in a dufflebag, and then knocked on aunty Mai's door. He told her that there was something wrong with mom. When she came into their apartment, he took off. She would call 911. He wasn't going to wait on CPS so he could be sold out or packed into some awful foster-home. He was better off alone. He always was.

In winter, he found himself in the church. It was warm, and he could be ther a whole hour of the mass. He got all the money from offerings, and later got himself a warm meal. Church wasn't that bad after all.

He was hiding from some thugs that didn't like him taking their tires. They shouldn't have left their van alone if they had a problem, Jason thought. They didn't like his argument and started to beat him up. He menaged to run away, and was hiding behind a dumpster. They were close. He could hear them. He started to pray. They didn't find him.

The next time he was hiding and started to pray, they found him and beat the shit out of him. He, once again, got reminder of why he could only rely on himself.

When he met Batman, and then Bruce, and then Batman as Bruce, he was happy. Fate finally smiled at him. He found out Bruce also belived on god, but it wasn't (or was? It was confusing) the same god his mom had. He didn't tell him that it was bullshit, because he wasn't stupid, thank you very much, but told him that he wasn't gonna belive in him. Bruce said it was alright, and that was it.

When he was laying on that werehouse's floor, watching the numbers fall, he heard Sheila praying. He didn't call her out on that bullshit, because honestly, he wanted to pray himself. Only she prayed to god, and he wanted to pray to Bruce. He knew it would mean jack shit, but it would be nice to believe someone was coming. He didn't pray. I stead, he got up and dragged his broken body towar Sheila. He positioned himself so he would take to most of the bomb's blow. It propably wouldn't save her, but he wanted to at least die doing something good. She didn't paid him any mind. She was still praying. When numbers on the display wen 3, 2, 1, she was still praying. She died with pray on her lips. He died with the bitter flavor of dissapointment, pain, resignation and hate on his lips. He never heard the batmobile's engine so close to him. He never heard the broken-hearted scream of a grieving father.

When he woke up in his coffin six feet under, he thought two things. First, that if god really exist, he must really hate Jason. Second, he also has a sick sense of humor. To be honest, if he wasn't already screaming, maybe he would laugh too.

I just remembered Orpheus and Eurydice. And it's such a human thing, to do something against the rules, even if we know the consequences, isn't it. Orpheus knew that he'll never see Eurydice again, if he just waits that one moment till they come out from the underground. And he knew that it wasn't a trick, that she would disappear. Her resurection could have been, but the catch? It would be true. Gods are just like that. And yet he did it. He was so close. He saw the light of the world of alive. So why did he look? In the myth they said he just couldn't wait, that he thought one glance wouldn't be enough. But he wasn't stupid - he menaged to come to Hades and come out, and he wasn't of weak will - it was shit tone of work. So why? I think it's just human nature. We're not ment to follow the rules - who never wanted to do something illigal? Even if just to see if the consequences are true? Sometimes you get away with shoplifting, sometimes they catch you, but the first option is always there. Orpheus knew theoreticaly, that there will be consequences. But he made it so far, he was great! Undefeated! How would Hades know? With how much he could get away?

So he glanced back, at his beloved Eurydice that he heard only steps of. And then she disappeared. And he was alone. And there was no way back, because he broke the deal. He was fully capable of not doing it, and yet his nature made him do the thing he was not supposed to. We do this so often, with small things and get with it away. But what if we make a mistake of doing it in an important moment? What would be our Eurydice, and how could you live with yourself after losing it?

Batfam gods and godesses pt. 2

Cass - my girl Cass is the godess of martial arts (duh), kindness and stubborness. Does it really need explaining? My only problem is that stubborness sound not godly enoug, but I really can't think of a better word. Now that I think of it, she's also a godess of survival/survivors. Her godly animal is an owl, because of how they are called 'silent killers'. Owls are amazing all in all, but how they are literally made for killing? It remind me of someone. They have very soft feathers, so they don't mak a sound when they fly.

Jason - he is a god of strategy, revenge, fear, those forsakened and literature. Bc he's a nerd, and even if it stick out like a sore thumb, it is what it is. Fear is mostly bc of Gotham Wars (ugh I despise it with my whole heart. At least most of it), but duffle bag of doom and his reputation is also a thing here. The rest is kind of self explenatory. His animal is a crow. They are 'trash birds', but are so smart and underappreaciated. I thought about a raven too, but they are too fancy. It would be like erasing his beginnings and fighting spirit.

Steph - she's a godess of people mistreated and rejected, of hope and compassion. She's been through much, and still fights. And how bruce treated her? Awfull. She's such a good girlfriend for Cass. Really, she's kind of a godess of bravery too. Her animal is flying squirrel. I don't have any excuse for that, I'm sorry not really. Other option for her animal was a dragonfly, but insects are a little too fragile for a badass like her.

Next are Tim, Duke and Damian

Batfamily as gods and godesses pt.1

So I've read that greek mythology au fic and I decided to make batfam gods, so here's a list of what they're gods of with explainations (sometimes), and their animal atribute, bc why not.

Alfred - he's a guardian god of secrets and wisdom. I don't think it needs explaining, but secrets part is about his MI6 past. His godly animal is stork, and I don't really have a reason for that, but it just fits, ok?

Bruce - he's a god of madness, grief and knowledge. And before ya'll get mad at me, his killing spree when he braks his rules is pure madness, and also like half of Gotham is messed up bc of him (Jason, Joker yk). Knowledge is kinda obvious, same as grief, which is center of his life. His godly animal is, suprise suprise, a bat.

Babs - she's a godess of forgotten women, rebirth, oracle and strategy. First one I don't think I need to explains, rebirth is about her return to vigilantism after Joker, oracle is also kind of obvious, and strategy is mostly coming from Birds of Prey as a team, and who Barbara is. Her animal gave me problem, bc I couldn't choose between martin and bluejay. Martin bc of how they 'predict' the rain, and bluejay symbolise communication and confidence. I decided on bluejay, but well... I leave it to you.

Dick - he's a god of new beginnings and anger of lonely fighters. New begginings are about him becoming Robin, starting a tem, then Nightwing and going to Blüdhaven, getting a job as a cop, then bringing those new begginings for Tim and Damian. Lonely foghters are mostly bc of new-52, and his whole angsty deal with Blüd. His godly animal is obviously a robin, but it also fits with new beginning, that robin symbolises.

So that's it for now, next will be Cass, Jason and Steph

Batfamily as gods and godesses pt.1

So I've read that greek mythology au fic and I decided to make batfam gods, so here's a list of what they're gods of with explainations (sometimes), and their animal atribute, bc why not.

Alfred - he's a guardian god of secrets and wisdom. I don't think it needs explaining, but secrets part is about his MI6 past. His godly animal is stork, and I don't really have a reason for that, but it just fits, ok?

Bruce - he's a god of madness, grief and knowledge. And before ya'll get mad at me, his killing spree when he braks his rules is pure madness, and also like half of Gotham is messed up bc of him (Jason, Joker yk). Knowledge is kinda obvious, same as grief, which is center of his life. His godly animal is, suprise suprise, a bat.

Babs - she's a godess of forgotten women, rebirth, oracle and strategy. First one I don't think I need to explains, rebirth is about her return to vigilantism after Joker, oracle is also kind of obvious, and strategy is mostly coming from Birds of Prey as a team, and who Barbara is. Her animal gave me problem, bc I couldn't choose between martin and bluejay. Martin bc of how they 'predict' the rain, and bluejay symbolise communication and confidence. I decided on bluejay, but well... I leave it to you.

Dick - he's a god of new beginnings and anger of lonely fighters. New begginings are about him becoming Robin, starting a tem, then Nightwing and going to Blüdhaven, getting a job as a cop, then bringing those new begginings for Tim and Damian. Lonely foghters are mostly bc of new-52, and his whole angsty deal with Blüd. His godly animal is obviously a robin, but it also fits with new beginning, that robin symbolises.

So that's it for now, next will be Cass, Jason and Steph

Pit Madness? No, it's science!

My take on effects that the lazarus pit had on Jason, because I don't really like the concept of pit madness.

So I was on that lecture about neurology of aggression and empathy, and they talked about one experiment, when they took a group of prisoners with agressive tendencies, mostly about physical attacks, and a control group of normies and made a test of hormones and neurotransmitters and while normies had GABA and seratonis on the same level as dopamine and noradrenaline, with prisoners there was a big non-equilibrium between them, with dopamine and NA on higher levels. So, people with dopamine and NA on higher levels are more likely to be agressive and temperamental.

And it got me thinking.

Lazarus pit is damn weird, right? What if it was messing with biology of a person? Bc we all love hc of Jason with glowing eyes.

And I don't really like pit madness trope, or I like it as just in moments of real anger it can activate or whatever. But Jason was a sweet child. Sure, he was agressive sometimes, but that's normal. So I think, that Jason's anger is righteous, and all the trauma absolutely destabilitised him mentally, but Lazarus Pit also could mess with his brain chemistry, and it's so interesting to me.

It's also not like the pit madness in fanon. He has free will, he's just more worked up biologically, and more likely to get agressive and physical.

I think it could be fun to explore, bc without it he maybe would do the same, or maybe not, and it's not that big of a change, but it would make it a little bit sadder thinking about him as a Robin and him as Red Hood.

Maybe part of that agression was written into him with the healing waters of the Lazarus Pit.

He can heal from trauma, but it would be something that's always there, another thing that changed in him when he was dead.

Maybe it doesn't make sense, and maybe it's just me, but it kinda make Jason more tragic - and he's tragic enough, but who doesn't like projecting onto fictional characters and make them hurt.