The Odyssey and Rumors of My Ego Death (Greatly Exaggerated)

Let me apologize to begin with. Let me apologize for what I'm about to say...

Welcome to 2024, or as I'm regarding it: the year I fight back. I'm back from a meditative retreat out of the country, and I feel ready to go! I have my usual goals of losing 50-100 lbs and moving away from my parents again (this time without a forwarding address), but mostly, I want to make major strides towards living my passions.

In short, I have been "gone" for the past 7-8 years, living in fear and ashamed to be myself, and I am feeling ready to stand in my vulnerability and to live unapologetically as myself, a learning and evolving human. I want to live fearlessly, and that means confronting the kinds of things I've been advised to sweep under the rug and take to the grave.

Also, this sounds like a good time in my life to get some spiritual gains out of my introspection, with some micro dosing.

(Whoops! That's too much!)

Anyway, onto parental matters - and file this one in the "things I would never say to my offspring" collection - my dad has said that he will only help keep my family off the streets if I turn into someone he likes. In other words, someone who doesn't point out the things I don't like, such as being lied to and having him send illegal pills to my house or such as showing unabashed, complete favoritism towards my brother's kids over my own. Sorry I can't get down with that, so I guess I'm just not worthy then, and neither are my kids for that matter. I understand that parents and kids don't have to be the best of friends, especially in adulthood, but for that to be the literal condition of receiving love? That is something I would never do to my own, even if I personally didn't like them, their significant other, their own kids, whatever...

So comment below, especially if you are grown and with kids of your own, what is something extra messed up that your parent said to you that stuck with you? I'm sure there's plenty!

Also, please toss your favorite mentally ill blogger a tip so I can keep a roof over my head! I love you long time for it!

Lately, I got back into some of the 3D Mario games, especially playing Odyssey over again (this time in Assist Mode because my kid already started a save a long time ago but never progressed from there). Even now, that game plays so fluidly and is such a joy! I even started messing around with the photo mode, which was something I ignored the first time playing through years ago. Throw some likes my way, since I am an attention ho, and I'll see if I can figure out the technology for posting some of these pics on here. You'd think I was 70, but I assure you I'm aware how late I am to the party on these things. Still, it's something I've found that has brought me a bit of joy and distraction, and so I wouldn't mind sharing it.

I have also been racing around on Mario Kart quite a bit, so send me a friend request and let's race! If you beat me, it's because I took psychedelics! 👌🏁🏎️😁

See you on the next one! I don't make real resolutions because if I do then I come to resent them, but has anyone made resolutions in the past that were difficult to achieve but you managed to accomplish?

Sibling Rivalry, Favoritism, and Multiplayer

Hey all, it's been an upsetting week for me, not gonna lie. I'm gonna skip the spiel and just get into it, so I'll just say that if you can relate then please Like and Follow and be sure to tip your struggling blogger. Also I'm lonely and need friends, so send me a request on Switch and message me on here as well! My mental issues make it difficult for me to sustain friendships, but I'd love a pen pal or 10k of them!

I'll be opening up more about things as I get more comfortable with this whole self-awareness and vulnerability thing, so subscribe and bear with me, but let's just say for now as a quick background that my mother is a narcissist, my dad is the flying monkey, my brother is the golden boy, and he married a conniving narcissist as well, so as to continue the cycle of abuse to his two kids. I am the damaged scapegoat who is trying to navigate away to healthier dynamics for my spouse and kids. I'm currently no-contact with my brother and his family as well as my mother and any relatives whatsoever. I do meet up with my dad occasionally for pancakes, but it is very much about sticking heads in the sand and pretending like we aren't estranged. I was no-contact with him as well until my wife informed him I was in the psych ward a couple months ago. I'm willing to answer questions as we go...

Anyway, he recently sent me $500 since I finally got up the nerve to put my pride and ego aside and outright ask him for help; something that has been instilled as a big source of shame for me to ever do because my mom especially would verbally berate me about how incompetent I am and how I would die alone and unwanted. Anyways, I digress, you may be asking what I would have to complain about? While I am thankful for any help I can get, let's just say $500 is chump change when it comes to my parents. They have money that I have been long since cut off from but that my brother and his family still very much access unabashedly, at the age of 32. I am 38. Also important to note is that he works a lucrative career where he has been able to make similar or better money as me over the past decade. The difference has been that my wife and I have been smart and careful with our money, while they have spent it recklessly. I always tend to leave out background details inadvertently, so I'm trying to recall as much as I can so as to not sound like unjustified soured grapes.

After years of no contact, our wives started communicating again, and it eventually got to where they decided to move to the south where we had relocated, originally in order to get away from them all. I wasn't thrilled about this, but I didn't want to deny my wife a chance at a friendship. My brother was reluctant to move here too, for reasons that I will get into someday as I work up the nerve to do so. My mom said I should take that said reason to the grave, but I'm not going to do that. They lived in an apartment for 6 months while making excellent money, by most people's standards, but they then exited out of the lease and moved into my parents' house, yet again, rent free, until they could buy a house of their own (or at least, that was how it was phrased to me when I decided to go nc with my parents yet again, due to the emotional pain of yet again seeing him and his family completely chosen over me and mine). They had to get out of their lease because they are assholes and got a bit too brazen with their neighbors. Despite being brazen in the past with neighbors who produced guns in their faces, they still find it rather funny to try and cave their downstairs neighbor's ceiling in by purposely jumping around as hard as they could out of spite. So long story short, another awful neighbor who couldn't take a joke decided to make them feel less than safe for their choices.

With the money and assets they have, there should've been no reason why they couldn't just pivot into another short term lease or something, but my parents ate up the chance to get into that abusive dynamic yet again, telling themselves that they couldn't let their son and his family go homeless (I can't say that without laughing because that is hardly the only other choice in this scenario). Regardless, we have come back into this situation because my parents decided to move those who we are once again no longer in contact with into their own house, essentially choosing a side once again. Of course, the explanation evolved from this being a temporary thing to suddenly they can't afford a down payment on anything because they don't have any money saved, meaning they would be living with them indefinitely. My only satisfaction in this was knowing that my mom's vicious lap dog, who she refuses to rehome because she spent $6k from a breeder, would be biting the shit out of all of them. Despite the dog being a barrier to letting my kids stay over my parents or anything of the sort, you can at least cordon a dog off for someone to visit. Sadly, they refuse to kennel my brother's wife.

Anyways, my spouse has some acquaintances in the real estate industry, since we have bought and sold a number of homes over the years. She got a message from one of them, asking her if she was aware how terribly entitled and obnoxious her in-laws are. Despite having to search numerous banks for a loan due to their awful credit rating, they still have the nerve to act like they are rich and powerful somehow. They were apparently searching originally for a house priced in the $300's but could not get a mortgage unless my parents cosigned and put up their retirement assets as collateral. They refused that, but they did cosign a mortgage for $200k. This after having always told me about how they would never cosign a loan for anyone ever. So basically, my parents bought my fully grown ass brother and his family a house, because when push comes to shove they will definitely stop paying the mortgage payment and could care less if they force my parents into doing so. Of course, I am sitting on this knowledge since before I was gifted $500 by my parents, and my parents won't ever tell me they did this. To answer your question, if you are asking it, I do intend to call my dad out on this, and it may be the last time I ever speak to him, depending on how that conversation goes.

My parents for the longest time would act like they did so evenly for both their kids and their grandkids, but I've called them out on that enough over the years so that they don't even make that claim anymore. From money to time spent to emotional support (if you can call it that), his family got 99.9%, and I'm an ingrate to complain about not getting my 0.1%. To clarify, I could care less except for the impact it all has had on my kids, but I do acknowledge that it's a blessing in disguise that my kids are growing up without that toxic influence so prevalent in their lives. Just makes me sad because if they would cosign a $200k mortgage for me like that, I'd be set for life, but bro's family gets rewarded for their recklessness while mine gets punished for trying to do things "the right way."

I want to shift gears now before I become too bitter, but I will just ask you to comment or message me, do you have experience with being the black sheep? If so, how's it going? Conversely, do you have experience being the golden child and self-aware of it? How has that been like for you??

To channel my inner Cranky Kong: kids these days experience multiplayer gaming far different than we did as young bloods. In my day *groans as he shifts in his recliner* multiplayer meant your friend or sibling played a single player game while you waited and rooted for them to screw up so you could have your turn to play! SMB3 made some progress in this by establishing a cooperative level progression, despite continuing the alternating turns system of play, but it was still waiting impatiently for your turn to play. Other games that did have simultaneous co-op could be frustrating if you had a younger sibling who couldn't hold up to your skill level. Nowadays, you got co-op where players don't get in each other's way, and you even got games that are accessible for players who can't coordinate keeping the acceleration button held down in Mario Kart. I may sound like I'm complaining, but I assure you this is quite the opposite. I might have had better interpersonal relationships growing up if it was more about this level of inclusive play and bonding rather than the confusing cooperative yet competitive setup that led to a rather passive aggressive style of friendships and relationships that I experienced.

A quick update before I wrap this up: I will be going away for a couple of weeks without access to internet, so know that I am okay during this time and will post more when I get back. I would like to ask, has anyone reading this ever called the suicide hotline, and what was that experience like for you? I have not yet called, but I do have them in my contacts (it's 988 in the US for anyone who doesn't know).

The holiday season is filled with controlling propaganda for family, friends, and other such obligations disguised as tradition, so if you are like me and can't conform to society's expectations, just know you aren't alone and that this is a safe spot to share and discuss. You don't have to feel shame and guilt for putting your own health and quality of life first. Trauma sucks, but we all have it. Understand that your own personal experience is valid and that you aren't lesser than anyone else. I hope you are able to find peace and comfort this season in your spirituality because that's far stronger than worrying about the company you keep, possessions you have, or living a lifestyle by others' standards. What's the point in living that way if it just adds to your stress? Family sucks, and that is why I have opted out. If you are considering doing the same but haven't yet, I hope you survive this year. If you are considering breaking free, I'm happy to lend a friendly ear and chat!

100%'ing Games and the Pressures of Perfectionism

"Hey baby I'm not your superhuman, and if that's what you want I hate to let you down. I got your hopes up, now I got you hoping that I'm gonna be the one to let you down."

If you know the song/band without looking it up, I f*** with you! 👌

I know there are many competitive gamers out there, but I am not particularly one of them. Don't get me wrong, I'm no slouch, but I sure do not claim to be an expert. If you beat me online, you won't be the first! 🤣

But I probably will beat you...if you want to find out, friend me on Switch with my friend code: SW - 4419 - 5159 - 3401

Beat me, and I'll s*** your d*** (proverbially) with a shoutout, plug, whatever you like! (within reason) but WHEN I beat you, you gotta chuck a nice tip my way...because I want your tip, baby! Don't worry, I will appreciate you for it.

Anywho, back to the topic of this post, I was raised to be rather competitive, even though my nature is really not to be so competitive. For example, if I got a B for a grade, my parents would be concerned and ask why it wasn't an A. Needless to say, I'm a huge disappointment to my family in this life. Oh well...Comment below if you can relate to that! So it makes for an odd paradox in me of being highly competitive in some respects and not at all in others.

In terms of video games, there are many games I have beaten but not completed 100%. Two that come to mind are Super Mario World and Super Mario 64, but there are many others. It used to bother me quite a bit, due to my OCD, that I didn't finish every task and complete every achievement, even though it really means nothing.

I have also achieved high scores as a kid in the arcade for TMNT, where my name and score was posted up on the cabinet, until it was eventually beaten, and I also participated in the Donkey Kong Country competition edition at Blockbuster, where I had the high score almost to the end. Someone did wind up beating it, and I finished in 2nd place. I have finally accepted that about 25 years later, but I was pissed at the time when I was about 8 years old.

As good as I was in gaming, my friends were always more naturally competitive than me. I have one friend whom I used to beat senseless in Super Smash Bros Melee when we were high school seniors. Didn't matter if it was 4 players, one-on-one, items or not, and no matter what stage or other conditions, I would beat him every single time. I would be Mario and he would always be Captain Falcon. I was a gracious winner, and he was not. He was also a sore loser and couldn't accept losing. He would continue to challenge me for rematch after rematch all the way until 3am, when I would finally let him win a match so he could screech victoriously and I could go home to get some sleep! He never did seem to question the fact that I would always win until that final match...and of course, I had to make it look competitive or else he wouldn't accept the win and harass me for yet another match.

I've known many people growing up who were similar in that they were completely incapable of accepting a defeat or even a setback. They took the phrase "win or die" too literally and grew up competitive to what I believe amounts to a very unhealthy level. I'm thankful to say I have laid down the conditioning of perfectionism and have accepted that I am, of course, not perfect nor do I pretend to be. I think everyone accepts that they aren't perfect, but the attitude and approach and veneer that they were on a daily basis promotes themselves as nothing but perfect. Perfect status, perfect life, perfect possessions, perfect friends, perfect relationship, perfect family, perfect parents, perfect career...you get the gist. Any veering off course of this image portrayed to the world can send one spiraling out of control into a pattern of self destruction, self sabotage, and self abuse (and regular abuse as well). Might be why we as a society need to get super intoxicated on the regular, so as to be able to tolerate ourselves and our shortcomings that we were taught to never embrace, display, or learn how to harness into a strength in our lives.

I'm rambling on now, so forgive me. I have recently reached a more manic, creative and inspired state, so I'm on a bit of a roll now. I've also begun jotting notes towards a script/storyline for a game that came to me last night. Came so hard that me and it were practically up all night together. That said, I'll look to share that in a future post, as long as you promise to click Follow and like the post because I can use your friendship...for my personal gain!!! Hahahahaa!!!!

Wait, did I say that out loud? Whoops!

Please donate as well because I can also use your financial support. The bigger the donations, the better the gifts get! Last gift winner requested to stay anonymous, but thank you so much anyway!

Friend me on Switch and send an invite my way! I'll be happy to help you reach a high score or if you'd rather compete, I can put you in your place...8th! 😁

Until next time, friends, keep your heads up and remember that life squashes us all sometime, but it eventually gets up off of you so it can go squash someone else! (cheery, ain't I)

Mental Health and Tetris

Hello everyone and hope you are well. I'm finally done Rockin' out and kicking and throwing furniture from my last post. I thank those of you as always, my friends, for helping to fill my cup with donations via Tips, and of course I appreciate the Likes to my posts, but be sure to also Follow/Subscribe so you don't miss any posts if you're really my friend. If not, GTFO! (Sorry, that was the antisocial and borderline coming out.)

Lately, I have gone back to Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (using SNES controller) because I had only tried one circuit before feeling compelled to play Mario RPG remake instead (also using SNES controller mostly), so if you want to get absolutely destroyed on the racetrack, I will post my friend code again so you can send me a friend invite and eat my star dust!

My friend code is SW - 4419 - 5159 - 3401

Just don't be upset when you lose by a large margin. It's nothing to be ashamed of! Two words: Blue Shell!!!

Shifting gears here a bit, have you ever experienced a song or songs that keep cycling in your head and you can't get rid of? It happens to me all the time, but last night, after taking some THC, I couldn't get the main theme from Tetris out of my head. I'm washing dishes, and it keeps on going and going as I'm filling my dishwasher and trying to find open spots to fit every pot, pan, bowl, and plate. We don't use paper plates typically, so we tend to run a full dishwasher at least once a day.

Anyways I digress, I got to thinking that Tetris is in some ways (perhaps many ways) a microcosm for life itself. I believe that much of life consists of taking an issue/problem or situation and finding where to fit/integrate it into being acceptable in one's own psyche. In this case, I would say that stress and trauma specifically are like the different Tetris shape blocks coming down, and if you can't solve/sort these problems out in your brain (and perhaps outside in the physical and/or spiritual realm) in an efficient manner then there becomes too much on your plate, and that's when you have yourself a mental breakdown and get hospitalized for suicidal ideations.

I was never the best Tetris player, and Tetris 99 sat on my Switch unplayed for a long time before I went ahead and archived it last night. As the speed and stress build, so does the intensity of my ADHD, and I lose concentration. For anyone who is a great Tetris player and may be reading this, please comment because I want to know how far you have gotten in the game and also if the game has an actual ending or just goes on endlessly until you lose? Apparently they are developing a two-player version of the game. If that is indeed true then I will be happy to see you online, and it will be an honor for you to make me your bottom and beat me senselessly like the dom you are! I also recommend checking out the movie on Apple TV+ about Tetris. It was an immersive telling about how Tetris came from being developed in Russia to being brought to the USA.

In unrelated news, my wife made some of the best damned garlic knots I ever had yesterday (she just saw this and got offended at my use of the phrase "some of"), from scratch, and we had Rao's jarred marinara for dipping. As an Italian, I cringe at using a jarred sauce, but Rao's is indeed legit and has no preservatives in it. The quality of these knots with garlic and parmesan dipped in the marinara were restaurant quality. Highly recommend (and also, not a sponsor, but if Rao's wants to reach out and get on this ship before it blasts off into the stratosphere, message me!).

I tried the video capture card setup that I had in mind, and sadly it did not work. So I have to go back to the drawing board. If anyone has recommendations and experience on how to live stream games from the Switch (ideally playing on the TV at the same time), please message me!

I guess that's all for now. I would say I hope you have a good day with peace, health, and wealth, but really I don't care about you. Might be why I don't have any IRL friends. So what I'll do instead is quote Billy Joel and say, "Life is a series of hello's and good-bye's. I'm afraid it's time for good-bye again." Friend me on Switch, and let's get to racing! 🏁🏎️🏎️

Remakes and RPGs

Specifically referring to a remake of this post, at the moment. I had one finished and ready to post, and my kid got on the laptop and deleted it. Such is life, right? So naturally, I flipped my chair and threw my mouse across the room. After that reasonable reaction, I took several more days to cool off.

I hope everyone had a good thanksgiving! Mine was filled with binging, so I'd call that a success. Even better, mine was just the 4.75 of us, so it was a moderately peaceful day with no major fights or explosions. Big improvement over some years past! Not gonna lie though, it does sting quite a bit on holidays like that to know I don't speak to relatives anymore (haven't for a long time) because of the abuse. Trying to focus on the positives, though...

One such positive is having an excuse to play Super Mario RPG again! And thanks so much to those of you who contributed and donated some tips my way! Please keep them coming! Person with the largest donation from this post to the next one will win a prize!

I was completely in love with SMRPG as a kid. I personally didn't play many (or maybe any) RPGs before this one, and it looked and played unlike any Mario game before or really since! I enjoy the Paper Mario series, but I'm still disappointed that we got those games in lieu of a proper sequel to SMRPG. SMRPG was truly revolutionary.

As for the remake, my impression after my first play through has been overall positive, with a few gripes. I like the updated refinish on the game to true 3D models and more fluid, more expressive character movements. I like the updated script, but I'm not exactly sure why character names needed to be changed, even if the Japanese translation was incorrect. My biggest complaint, however, is the game is too easy, and I'm not even talking about Breezy mode. I do like the additions of triple moves and switching party members in battles, but it makes fights that were near impossible, like Jinx and Culex, into pretty easy fights. I know I could choose not to use the triple move or to switch characters, but I digress. I also like the rematch boss fights post-game for a legit challenge. Overall, I'm happy with it and would recommend it, especially if you have never played the original. Then, go find the original and see the differences in difficulty! Please subscribe for more posts to build the community. I'm lonely! Also comment your thoughts on the SMRPG remake (and original) and what was the worst accidental deletion of a project you experienced?

Over the Borderline and Over the Rainbow Road

Salutations! I hope this post finds you well. (One of my pet peeves is the hope this email finds you well thing. Not sure why, but probably just a dumb quirk of mine! Let me know in comments or message some of your worst pet peeves!)

I want to thank our new friend thepokecutie for coming aboard! You're early; not wrong! So grab a controller and your antidepressant of choice, and get ready for this thing to take off!

I have seen some other "likes" over the days, and while I want to say thank you for those, I also encourage you to click the Follow button and become a "follower" (another pet peeve term I hate; I prefer to think of us as friends...with benefits, depending on what cocktail - pun intended - of meds we're on!)

So today, I feel like talking about an aspect or two of BPD, and I'm playing Mario Kart 64 while pondering over this. I have a shameful confession to make: I have not yet played Mario Kart 8, even though I do have it now, thanks to your generous tips. I love all your tips, big and small, though I gotta admit I prefer them big! Anyway, I plan to play MK8 soon, and I invite you to friend me on Switch as well so perhaps we can run some races together! Maybe we can even race the old rainbow road course from N64!

SW - 4419 - 5159 - 3401 is my friend code.

I haven't played any Mario Kart since Wii because that game was just boring and formulaic. Too many blue shells made each race rather predictable and felt more like a demo than an actual game, if that makes sense.

So a major reason why living BPD sucks is because of the fall-out from impulsive behavior and compulsive lying. Many such behaviors got me fired from lots of jobs, including professional ones, and almost cost me my marriage and access to my kids (I often can't believe it hasn't!) as well as almost getting me arrested on several occasions (again, I can't believe it didn't). I have lied, cheated, stole, and lived overall passive aggressive, especially loving covert revenge against people I PERCEIVE are against me. Cost myself many potential good friendships and relationships. Very typical to push others away and self sabotage before I could be rejected by others.

I can get into more specifics down the road, but I would love to hear from you and some of your struggles with mental health in general and BPD if you have it as well. Or maybe you think you just got it all together?? I want to be friends with you too! Especially if you're rich! So friend me, and I'll see you on the track!

...Also, I just binged a half a bottle of expired fiber gummies.

Binge Eating and Kirby

Let me know in the comments if any of this resonates with you! The other night was a weird night of sleep for me. I felt drowsy at 6pm, slept until 9pm, then got up and ate two boxes of cereal before going back to sleep again. When I told my psych about this, he asked if I was referring to the travel sized boxes of cereal. I was not. I also had a half gallon of milk, because what is cereal without milk, and just to make sure it really got washed down good, I had a tall glass of chocolate milk on the side.

In response to this, my psych suggested I mindfully don't eat two boxes of cereal at that hour. Thanks, genius! Why didn't I think of that??! I do think he's getting frustrated with me because his host of meds aren't working at all. He should probably refer me out since he seems to be in over his head.

Anyway, last night I tossed and turned in bed until midnight and couldn't sleep. Even after taking trazodone, it had no effect. So naturally I got up and went to the living room to pace the floor and pop the TV on. In an attempt to be healthier, I ate 2 yogurts and finished off the chocolate milk. Whole Foods apparently has really good chocolate milk.

Shortly after finishing the yogurts, my wife comes out to grab me by the ear and drag me back to bed. Still couldn't sleep, but my wife told me to meditate. So I tried, and then I tossed and turned some more until finally sleeping some I think at around 4am.

My weight has always yo-yo'd because I'll binge but then I'll also go stretches where I eat little to nothing. My weight as a result goes up and down significantly. I struggle to stick with any kind of exercise. My therapist suggested walking in my condo, so I did that and sat down after. Surprisingly, I didn't lose any weight the next day.

I have low energy to begin with, but now the eating is impacting my physical health more as I'm getting older. My blood pressure is elevated, which was never a thing for me. My cholesterol is very high, and my LDL is so high that they're worried I may have a stroke. So I'll try to get this in order, first by binging on healthier foods, and then probably by not eating at all.

Kirby is one of my heroes when it comes to binging. Yoshi too of course, but for me Kirby came first. I could relate to Kirby. He eats a ton, is squishy, adorable, and will sometimes fall asleep in the middle of a task. Like Kirby, I often feel like I'm gonna float away after eating myself into a bloated stupor.

My favorite Kirby is Kirby's Adventure on NES. That game is still fun to play, and I love using the old NES controller with it! Smashing Kirby around in Super Smash Bros. is always a good time too!

Which Kirby is your favorite? What are your binge eating guilty pleasures? Comment below and please tip your blogger! *shakes cup*

My WONDERFUL Diagnoses

Hey friends! I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience in the mental hospital. Next time I will have to get myself thrown into solitary so I can recount what that's like as well! I went for a follow-up with psych the other day, and he threw a couple more diagnoses in my hat. I thought it would be fun, if you humor me for a moment, for me to list my ongoing disorders in alphabetical order!

Feel free to sing along and list yours in the comments!

Antisocial Personality Disorder (except for you fine folks!)

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Binge Eating Disorder

Bipolar II ("can't rule out")

Borderline Personality Disorder

Cannabis Use Disorder (not a disorder!)

Major Depressive Disorder

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Substance Abuse Disorder

So looks like we're up to 10 and counting! I'm sorry if there's any of you I'm forgetting. I'll be sure to give you a shout out as well!

Now, onto my uber mega important review of SMB Wonder! It's late, but that is because it's far more prestigious than any of these so-called "professional" outfits!

I'm reminded of the phrase "an elephant never forgets," and Elephant Mario (or character of your choice) does indeed make for an unforgettable experience! Yes, this is another positive review, and if you happen to think the game sucks, you're wrong.

I don't think I have heard or seen a negative comment about this game, aside of some complaints about the frequency of the talking flower, but Nintendo did give the option to shut the voice off. For me, it isn't a big deal, and I actually enjoy it for the most part.

It really can't be said enough just how beautiful and vibrant this game is. The art is gorgeous, and the animation blows me away! I particularly love the different animations for entering/exiting the warp pipes, and I also love the attention to small details, such as the use of both hands alternating when throwing fireballs. The various facial expressions throughout the game also really help bring it to life.

If I had to provide any critiques, it would really be nitpicking. I guess maybe if Prince Florian could remind us about 100 more times that we can change badges by pressing R, maybe then I would remember...seriously though, I wouldn't mind having up to 6 players for co-op, some of the Wonder scenes are a bit repetitive, showing practically the same theme of effects in different courses. I might've liked more variety of power-ups, but again, nitpicking. I would also love to change the entire button mapping to suit playing with other controllers, but that's a complaint I have with many Switch games. I mean, why sell the retro controllers and make it so I can't use them?!

I love that the game moves so fluidly, even in multiplayer. I like that the game doesn't hiccup when a player dies, gets hit, or gets a power-up. I love that the game has accessibly easy courses for my kids to play along, but also some legit challenging 4 and 5 star courses for more experienced old grizzled vets like myself (not to mention the secret exits and courses). I also like the star rating system for each course's difficulty. It is also rather funny, and my family and I were hysterical plenty of times throughout the campaign. I think the piranha plant parade deserves its own spin-off!

Finally, I absolutely love the online mode. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about it, but it really works. It can be toggled on/off with a quick pause of the game, and I think having shadows of other players only added to my experience. I would've liked to see some more emojis to communicate a bit more with others, but I am happy to see that I didn't experience any latency or slow-down with the online play. The heart point system for reviving players, sharing a saved power-up, and reaching the goal concurrently also makes for some nice feels, especially when playing solo late at night and feeling lonely while smashing a full family sized box of Pop Tarts. I regret nothing! I recall having one spot in particular where I was stumped and threw the question mark above my head, and someone else immediately ran over and mimed what I should do. It worked, and that was an awesome feeling! That and having someone else share a power-up with me made me feel like somebody cares and that I'm not alone, and I've actually been able to friend a lot of the players I've encountered!

In conclusion, you couldn't wipe the smile off my face while playing, especially in that first hour that I was playing it for the first time when it dropped at midnight, and putting that smile on faces is exactly what SMB is about. I've heard a lot of comparisons to Mario World. I don't know if I would go that far, but I do recommend playing the game with the SNES controller if you have it. That controller is still the best of all time, but that's for another post!

Please tip your blogger. My psychiatrist is worried about me, and I could use the help! Besides, I have to buy the family a new box of Pop Tarts! And be sure to friend me on Switch so we can play some online races and campaign together as well! I'd love to get a whole party going online. Then I can feel like I've got real friends while also being able to cater to my introverted ways and bounce if I need to! I'll try not to do that to you, though! It would be nice to play with each other for once, instead of the usual playing with myself...

Friend code is: SW - 4419 - 5159 - 3401

Part IV: Let Me the Hell Out the Door!

It's been several days since I posted part 3, but that's because I was completely consumed with SMB Wonder! I absolutely love this game and will be happy to get more into a review of it later this week!

In the meantime, send me a friend request on Switch and let's play with each other! After all, I'm sick of playing with myself. My friend code is SW - 4419 - 5159 - 3401. You can also scan my profile pic's QR code.

Despite the highly interrupted sleep, I did manage to get some sleep. I was awoken again at 7:30am to have vitals taken as I am sitting edge of bed through teary and bloodshot eyes. I was then told breakfast was served, and so I stumbled out to eat some powdered eggs and sip a bit of coffee. One of the med students also came over and gave me an informal ADHD and a BPD assessment to complete.

Later in the morning, after I finished riding the pointless recumbent bike for 15 minutes, the psych team met with me again to tell me I would be discharged in the afternoon. As I had affirmative answers for all 9 items on the BPD assessment, they determine, brilliantly, that I have BPD. I could've told you that. In fact, I guess I did! They then told me I "likely" have ADHD as well but wanted my psych in the community to follow up with a "formal" assessment. He never did follow up on it, but my psychotherapist has diagnosed me ADHD amongst a host of others. I got 2 more diagnoses this morning, but that's for another post.

My spouse came to visit me again at 12, but nursing staff had already pulled me aside to commence my discharge. This process then included an hour of waiting because they brought me someone else's belongings and couldn't locate mine! My wife stood with me from 12-1, until she had to go pick up the kids from school, and she spent that time trying to keep me calm as I was fighting a panic attack over the notion of my wallet and phone being lost or stolen. Nursing didn't do anything to try and calm me during this time, and instead they had me move aside so they could take vitals on a new patient (this person would have been my roommate if I was staying the night again). Again, as I've asked hypothetically in previous posts, how all this was supposed to BENEFIT my mental health is still beyond me.

Around 1pm, the nurse finally produced my bag of stuff, which was apparently sitting in the ER the entire time. I was relieved to get my phone, keys, and wallet back, but despite having the rest of my clothing back, they managed to lose my shoes! I recall my shoes having been placed in a separate bag when I arrived, and I informed them of this. They then had someone go BACK to the ER (which is nowhere remotely close to my unit) to look for the shoes in question. This resulted in another hour of waiting, granted with less anxiety. During the wait, I sat in on another boring group session of some dumb game they were playing. During this, security pulls me aside and shows me a pic of a pair of shoes that aren't mine.

Resigned that my shoes are lost at this time, security gives me their number to contact them in a few days to inquire again, and I finally get cleared to discharge! In my hospital socks, I walked outside across the hospital campus to my car parked in the garage. When I got to my car, I realized they gave me a bottle of Prozac that I didn't need when they had instead told me they were going to discharge me with an increased dose of Wellbutrin.

They never did find my shoes.

If you have been hospitalized for mental illness, please share your story!

And please, if you're enjoying the blog, remember to tip your blogger! I want just the tip, my friends!

Next post will be my review of SMB Wonder because, after all, my take on it is far more important than any of these "professional" sites. I will also list my current diagnoses in ABC order, and if I have time in the next post, I will start delving into everyone's favorite topic: my mommy issues!

Until then, see you on Switch!

Part III: This Ain't for Me

Shockingly enough, the next morning came (at 7am with a knock to take vitals while half asleep at edge of bed), and I still wasn't "cured." Breakfast was French toast and powder eggs with decaf coffee and a side of meds. As I looked around at the other patients on the unit, most were much like myself: quiet, reserved, low energy. I don't like to say they seemed "normal" because that is an old stigma attached to mental health, but I will say there weren't many behaviors displayed except for a couple of instances. One rather tall gentleman kept jumping around, hogging the phone (probably with fake calls), and repeatedly asking everyone their names because he couldn't remember. Another patient seemed to move in slow motion and spoke inaudibly. Another paced the floor and talked to himself much of the time, as one might expect to see in a setting like this.

At 10am, it was group time! Group runs from 10-12 and then again from 1-3. "Group" in this case was not quite what I thought it would be. Patients from both units (some still opted not to go) met in a small room with two recumbent bikes, an elliptical, a treadmill, and a radio. There was also a table with playing cards and Guess Who, in case you didn't get enough of playing with yourself and board games. During this light exercise time, a member of the psych team would pull you for a one-on-one interview. Keep in mind, this has been over 24 hours since I checked into the ER, and finally getting the first opportunity to speak to someone with any authority to do anything. I spoke with the psych doc for probably 15-20 minutes while he took notes, and he was very friendly but didn't offer much insight. I then met briefly (less than 5 minutes) with the psych team, including some students and the attending physician, but this was just to reiterate what I said earlier in the one-on-one. They did say they would consider my discharge request but that legally they could still hold me for up to 72 hours after I signed the request. They also had me transferred to the front unit, which was smaller and quieter, since I don't do well with noise and had traumatic experiences in dorm living. After the interview, I had a few minutes sitting idly and zoning out. A patient at the adjacent table asked what I was staring at and yelled at me to stop. Naturally, I fired back with a, "I wasn't staring, and while we're on the topic, WTF are you staring at me for?!" This accomplished my mission of getting this person to get up and leave.

My wife came to visit me at lunchtime. I was the only one who had a visitor during my stay, and that made me even sadder. My kids were too young to be allowed to visit, and they were at school anyway. It was a surreal experience to have my wife visit and see me in this jumpsuit and in this atmosphere. She was highly supportive, but I felt deep embarrassment and shame. Still, I was happy to see a glimpse of my outside life. My wife already knew that this place was only making me worse. After lunch, which was by far the quickest hour of the day, my wife had to leave because it was time for group again! This time, they put us in teams and had us play a round of Scattergories as well as a rousing round of Jeopardy with a theme of OTC meds and remedies. If you're reading this and wondering how this was supposed to improve my mood and SI, I am still wondering as well. After that was mercifully over, we had idle time again all the way until bedtime, with the exception of dinner. We mostly sat around the dayroom area watching tv, with the highlight being when Mean Girls came on! I felt very aware of a sublime feeling in that moment of realization that I am trapped in a psych ward and watching Mean Girls. All I could do was laugh to myself. 8pm was snack time, and I got to get TWO snacks! So I chose a vanilla ice cream cup and a pouch of cinnamon golden grahams so that I could complete the nostalgic feeling of being completely controlled in my childhood. I did lose a few pounds over these few days, but I managed to gain it all back quickly when I could binge again. Anyway, my nighttime meds came on time this night, at 9pm, and I was able to go to bed from there. No reason to keep staying up. Trazodone did help me get to sleep, but my door kept opening and shutting all night. I'm pretty sure I was on 15 minute checks, even though that didn't happen the night before.

Next post will be Part IV and likely the conclusion of this story. Hopefully you've enjoyed it so far. If you have, please tip your blogger accordingly! I learned growing up that money and gifts were the way to express love, so shower your love and other bodily fluids all over me!! And while you're filling me up with your love, friend me on Switch! My friend code is on my profile page, or use the QR code in my pic. I am lonely and need more of you in my life! I'll be online either playing Shredder's Revenge or Cowabunga Collection and looking to go online! I've been on a real TMNT kick lately, and by "lately," I mean the last 30 years. The feeling of taking out my anger and frustration on a bunch of Foot soldiers just doesn't get old! Of course, that will get put away for a while come midnight Friday! I want to thank my sugar daddy/mama, who wants to remain anonymous, for their generous donation so I could afford to purchase Super Mario Bros. Wonder! I will see you online!

Part II: Borderline Boogaloo!

Before I continue about my experience in the psych ward, I want to thank my new friend (who is hopefully a real person) lady-macbeth13 for joining me and hopping aboard! I encourage you if you're reading this to click that follow button so you can be my friend as well. Hop aboard this thing before it takes off so you can say, "I knew him when..." Also, please help a friend out and tip me if you can spare it! You can't see but I'm shaking my change cup on the corner right now. I currently have no income, so I am trying to afford the monthly bills and also a video capture card and HDMI splitter so I can get live streaming off the launching pad! I am also trying to afford Super Mario Bros. Wonder, so I truly appreciate any tips you can help with! I want to get some online multiplayer up and streaming with everyone, so look out for that as well! Finally, my friend code on Switch is posted in my bio at this time and QR code is my profile pic, so send me a friend invite! I'm lonely and need friends! :)

So when we left off, I was getting strip searched by 2 nursing staff, and as kinky as that was, it ended rather abruptly when they had me put my jumpsuit back on. Before I could contain my arousal, they showed me to the infamous padded cell. Now, this is all taking place in a cramped, locked, dark area with no windows. The padded cell felt much like a cubicle made of the padded mats from gym class. The walls were the same material, and there was a camera up in the corner of the ceiling near the dingy yellow light. The door had a small slotted window as well. The staff member told me she had to show me the cell so she could document that she showed it to me, and I would only need to see it again if I got violent. From there I was let back out into gen-pop and was given a dinner tray with microwave pizza, which was probably the best thing I had there to eat. As an aside, you may want to make sure what you eat can be a finger food because it is a tall order to eat an overcooked pork chop or chicken breast with a plastic spoon.

As I sat at one of the tables in the dayroom, I got the chance to better observe the environment. There was a TV which was showing the ever-therapeutic local news, where they were running a story about another shooting somewhere. I started feeling less depressed already...There were also a few games like Jenga and Sorry available, which nobody played. Also available was some paper and colored pencils. I ate and sat in a stupor, as the atarax was still kicking in my system. There were posted rules on the wall, stating we are to remain in the dayroom during the day, participate in groups when scheduled, make our beds every day, and clean up after ourselves, including our food trays. The doors were all locked with security monitoring the main doors and cameras everywhere except for the bedrooms. There were a few locked doors designated for group exercise and meeting with the psych team, but I wouldn't get the chance to be evaluated or talk to anyone until the next morning. The rooms were mostly 2 beds but some were private. I did end up having a roommate that night which I hated, but he was quiet enough that I could sleep that night in combination with trazodone. Also in the room was a sink, a bathroom with half door (no lock), a toilet with no seat, and a shower that was surprisingly adequate. For other entertainment, if board games don't grab ya, you could walk laps around the nurse's station, and they even had a helpful sign to let us know that just 33 times around = 1 mile! I know nothing could make me feel more prepared to reintegrate into society than stumbling around the nurse's desk like a zombie in a paper suit that was 2 sizes too large for me.

Since I had checked myself in voluntarily, I was allowed to sign a discharge request notice, which would allow them no longer than 72 hours after submitting it to continue holding me. By 9:30pm, I was ready to go to bed after a long day, and I was also ready to sign the aforementioned form. The unit was loud with lots of hollering, and that triggered my anxiety and shut me right down. Brought me back to my year at the college dorm, which was traumatic and did not go well for me. When I knocked on the door to the nurse's station, I was informed that my nurse was busy at the moment, as she had patients on the other unit to attend to. I stood outside the station, waiting for my nurse to return. By 10:15, I had enough. I knocked on the nurse's door again and said that I didn't care who handled the form but that I wanted to sign it. This other nurse then comes out and gets in my face and tells me it has to be with my nurse and also, "you won't be leaving here tomorrow...I can tell you that!" She replied with such a nasty attitude, and if it's one thing you want to do as a medical professional working on a psych unit, it is to instigate someone with BPD. I started to get nasty right back, and the nurse slunk away back behind the glass, perhaps realizing that she wasn't making the best decision in that moment. I stood around some more until my nurse finally arrived at 10:30pm, and I was wondering the whole time at what point I could expect this experience to actually start making me feel better and less suicidal. Spoiler alert: that moment never came. After this nurse checked that I properly swallowed my late meds, I went to sleep at 11pm, which began quiet time.

I am going to break there and continue on in Part III for my next post, so make sure you click FOLLOW to make sure you don't miss out on that! After all, I feel like we are starting to become good friends now, so friend me and make me a part of your day! I will try not to be too needy! And again, my friend code on Switch is SW-4419-5159-3401. Send me a friend invite and I will accept! I'm lonely...and I'm also broke and unemployable, so please hook your new friend up with some tips on my page! Thank you, and I love you!

Monu-Mentally Shredded

I didn't realize today is Mental Health Awareness day, but I figure it is all the more fitting then that I recount my hospitalization in the psych ward last week. This may run long and require at least a Part II.

The day started at 8am with a routine blood draw. My psych put me on lithium recently, and this was a routine test prior to my follow-up appointment to check my lithium blood level. For context, I have been depressed and suicidal for much of my life, but I didn't get it addressed until the last year because I was taught that it was shameful or weak to receive any care for emotions and mental health. I always felt like something was mentally "off" about me, though, and after sitting 9 months on a waitlist, I finally got accepted as a psych patient. I was then diagnosed MDD and BPD, as well as OCD, BPII, and ADHD. My older daughter was also diagnosed ADHD and ASD1 earlier this year, but I digress.

This has been a particularly hard year amongst many hard years, and after I got fired I spiraled into a free fall. I stayed in bed and slept a lot, cut myself, binged on snacks when I finally did get out of bed some, and I was especially irritable and moody, even yelling and cursing at one of the school's teachers in the car line, with my kids in the car. I wish I could say that was out of character for me, but sadly it isn't. I did a better job in previous years holding my negative thoughts underneath the surface (not a good thing), but with going no-contact with my parents and sibling's family for a second time as well as navigating the choppy waters of my marriage, my depression, anger, and burnout became too much for me to suppress. It wasn't much of a surprise after seeing the lacerations on my arm that my psych "urged" me to go to the hospital voluntarily. I put that in quotes because he really said I can either go on my own or be committed involuntarily. So I think I made the better choice.

I had been to the ER once or twice before in life, but this was my first time in the psych triage and consequentially being admitted. The triage was locked down with several security personnel on hand. I was shown to a bed in a small area with a posted camera in the corner and a sitter to watch me, and they took my clothes, phone, keys, and wallet and had me get into a big green paper jumpsuit. While I waited to have another blood draw, EKG, and urine tox screen done, a large man with profound autism stripped naked in the hallway and pissed on the floor. Once the tests were completed, I was escorted upstairs by wheelchair to a unit that I could only describe as the holding tank.

I'm not really sure what the point of being on this unit was, so maybe someone can comment if they know better. I was brought into a room with 2 empty beds, a bathroom, and 2 TVs with 1 on and no remote. The staff had me order lunch (I was in no mood to eat), and I was able to call my wife from the phone on the wall with the extra short cord. I'm not entirely sure someone wasn't listening in on those calls because the phone made some weird clicking noises when it was connecting. I went back to the room after making my phone call and was provided an atarax to calm my nerves. It worked, and I napped until lunch arrived. I ate very little of the frozen stir fry they gave me, but I did eat the bowl of grapes. I arrived at the ER around 10am, and it wasn't until around 5pm that I was finally transported over to the unit.

Security had me go through a metal detector before being let in. They said you'd be surprised what people do to try and sneak things in. Inside, there was a front unit and back unit, and I was escorted to the back. I was then sat into a chair near the nurse's desk, which was locked inside by badge lock and behind thick - I assume bulletproof - glass. I then waited for them to take my vitals...again! I looked around. There were probably 10 patients on the unit, and they were also all dressed in the same green paper jump suit. The lighting was all fluorescent in the hallways, and there was one phone hanging on the wall for patients to use, also with a short cord. I've not been to prison, but I do imagine some similarities would be experienced. The other patients were in the dayroom area eating dinner, while I was taken into another room by a nurse and another staff member as witness to strip search me. This made it feel all the more like prison, and if this was supposed to make me feel less like killing myself, it failed miserably.

I am going to break it up here, but look out for Part II coming up real soon!

I am currently playing Shredder's Revenge, and I highly recommend the DLC if you haven't gotten it yet. The survival mode online is a lot of fun, and I feel like I get a limited social interaction out of it, even though I have no idea who is on the other side of the wifi. With that said, I have no community or irl friends, so I would love for some virtual company. I am adding my friend code below, so send me a friendvite and message me when you're available to play. I am also planning to open up rooms from time to time in games for anyone reading this blog or my socials (as I get them going) to join via code, and I will post the code up with first come first served. So be sure to follow the blog here. I hate the term "followers," so I prefer to call you my friends, if I may.

My friend code is: SW - 4419 - 5159 - 3401. I will also post this on the blog bio for reference, as well as the QR code. I want friends!!...but with boundaries, lol!

Star Fox Assaulted

Hi all, I apologize for the absence, but I was hospitalized this week in a psych ward, and they took my phone and no internet access. I am planning to post about my experience in there, which will likely need to be spread out across several posts. So be on the lookout for that. To let you in on a quick preview, I had a rough time of it last week and did harm myself (cutting). That led to my psych doc telling me to either go to the hospital myself or he was gonna have me go in cuffs. I was hospitalized for three days, and it was my first experience in an inpatient institution, as a patient (I do have some experience as a former medical professional). It was interesting to see the perspective from the other side of the coin, to say the least.

Star Fox 64 is obviously one of the greatest games of all time. If you disagree with that statement, you're wrong. The Star Fox series has had a rough go of it since way back then, including the wonky control schemes of the DS and Wii U games. And as interested as I was to play SF2, which they finally let see the light of day on the SNES online, that game didn't really keep my interest either, tbh. The GameCube, however, was an awesome console with a bunch of great games that ran quite smoothly in comparison to the N64. I spent a lot of days and nights as a senior in high school and college freshman playing games like Smash Bros Melee and Star Fox Assault.

Unlike Star Fox Adventures, Assault was an actual SF sequel, and I think it is highly underrated because I don't see much mention of it anywhere I look. The game, of course, had smoother graphics and ran at better framerate, and it was also a blast to play from what I remember. It's been a long time (and I don't currently have a GameCube), but I remember the controls were fluid with a compelling story as a cannon entry in the series. The Arwing action returned, and I particularly enjoyed some of the on-foot missions, including running around Corneria city and one mission where Fox is on foot and shooting up at the sky to help Falco in his Arwing.

I could be wrong on this, but I feel like a lot of people perhaps missed playing this game, since I rarely ever hear it mentioned. If you have a GC, I highly recommend trying it out for yourself, and if you do, let me know what you think! I personally am hoping and wishing that Nintendo will add GC games to Switch Online, and I hope they release a GC Switch controller to go with it! I feel like that is one move they could make for the Switch in its (rumored) final year before an alleged new console is announced and released. As a side note, the ability to play Melee online would be amazing!

Anyway, that is the end of my SF rant, and I will plan to recount my experience in the psych ward, hopefully starting with my next post. If anyone else has prior experience with hospitalization for mental health issues, please chime in and share! I wish you good health and take your meds!

Side Effects and DKC

(So my goal here is to post just about everyday, but honestly I will miss some here and there because of my depression.)

I’m feeling in a better mood today so far. I volunteered at my kids’ school helping to clean out their storage, and that was some good physical activity for me for once. I have a gym membership but haven’t gone in months. I’m sure I’m not the only one in that situation. Side effects of my meds can make physical activity a struggle sometimes, too.

I don’t remember if I mentioned which meds I’m currently on so here they are: Wellbutrin for MDD, Prozac for OCD (not working), Lamotrigine for mood swings consistent with BPD, and Lithium for Bipolar II. I also have trazodone and gabapentin that I take as needed for anxiety and back pain. Now, aside of kidney damage as a serious potential side effect, the side effects for all these meds include: fatigue/tiredness, weakness, coordination issues, memory problems, weight gain, and shakiness/mild tremors. I experience all of these symptoms daily, aside of kidney damage. The weight gain I can also chalk up to my binge eating disorder. These side effects often impact my ability to complete tasks, and now I’m feeling like I can’t effectively work a consistent job anymore. I’m recently semi-retired as a result and applying for SSDI.

Anyone else on disability for mental illness? What diagnoses, meds, and side effects are you experiencing?

I’m currently playing Donkey Kong Country using the SNES controller for the Switch. Fun fact: when I was a kid they would hold video game tournaments from time to time at the local Blockbuster (yep, I’m old lol) and I came in second place in the special tournament edition of DKC. I loved this game and it is still impressive and fun to this day. When I first beat King K. Rool, I tossed my controller in victory because it was a frustrating battle…little did I know, the battle wasn’t over yet! I was so mad when I died that I ripped the cartridge out and threw it across the room. Totally normal behavior…Hey, does anyone else have a story where they broke something out of anger, especially for a silly reason??

Which of the DKC games do you like best?

Pressure, Perfectionism, and Pinball

In first grade, I was the kid with the perfect attendance award. In second grade, I won the school spelling bee. If I told my parents I wanted to grow up to work for a company, they would tell me to run my own company. While I think they meant well, that put a ton of pressure on me, which was never great for my anxiety. I got very good at hiding my mental health issues under a veil of stoicism because I would get bullied otherwise. That stoicism carried over through more than ten years of a professional career that made my parents proud in between bouts of no contact.

My father was a workaholic, and my mother would call me lazy and a bunch of other names I can get into another time. She hated how sedentary I was as a kid, even though she was no athlete herself. There was no care or understanding back then about the role depression has played in my life. Even when I identified it as depression, I didn’t go for treatment until recently because it was taught to me that the sadness and feelings of emptiness were just me being spoiled and entitled. If I was shy or afraid of something, I’d get called a wuss or something worse than that. I believed from the gaslighting that I was fine when I’m not, and it took years of denial before coming to realize the abuse that not only I went through but that I have put my wife and kids through.

Feel free to share your own personal battles. You aren’t alone.

Today, I’m playing NES Pinball and also Sonic Spinball. Two fun and underrated games, and I love the ability to play briefly as Mario balancing the ball, as well as the ability to navigate around as Sonic in between being the ball. I loved going to the arcade as a kid and playing pinball as well. One of my favorites was WWF Royal Rumble by Data East as well as the Kiss and Guns N’ Roses machines. What’s your favorite distraction from overwhelming depression?

Ice Breaker (Ice Climber?)

Hi folks and welcome! My name is Justin, 38 years old and I was recently fired from yet another job due to misconduct stemming from my bipolar and borderline personality disorder (diagnosed and being treated). I have always believed myself to be inferior and like I don’t belong in this world. I did get married and have 2 kids, but life has been a struggle for me and those around me. I’ll get into it more as we go, but it’s a lot.

I have no friends, relatives, or even mild acquaintances, and I have always run to video games, especially Mario, for comfort and to escape reality. I have always been interested in psychology and Nintendo, and my goal here is to create a community where we can support each other, talk about our lives, struggles and triumphs, and of course to talk and play video games as well. I also love to laugh, and humor is another escape for me.

I do plan to expand to a streaming platform as well where we can talk and play games, but I don’t have the setup as of yet nor the funds for all the equipment. It’s coming soon, though. Meanwhile, I would love to hear from you about your mental health as well as your life and favorite games!