#why you're mistyped
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Misconceptions About Type 3
In general, I think the image types are hard for people to conceptualize. Being heart last is more common than being heart first (or probably even heart second). 3 descriptions can fall short, but outside perhaps being geared a bit too much towards the social instinct, 3s and 3 fixers who don't see themselves in 3 are more often in denial of their 3 traits than misinterpreting the descriptions (or assuming subtype descriptions are all encompassing).
3s are hardworking, type A individuals who push themselves to be the very best: This description is definitely fitting for some 3s, but is not a requirement for being a 3 core or even a 3 fixer. As an image type who uses external merits to derive worth, this type can fall into the pattern of wanting to "look good" or maintain an image even when they do not have the skills or energy to actually maintain that image. Wanting to do as little as possible to get what you want, control your self image, or maintain what you wish to maintain isn't anti-3 nor even uncommon with type 3. A 3 might not even want to be "the very best" as much as it just wants something to "prove" their own worth or something that they can tie to their self image that is good. Being "above average" but realistically understanding that you cannot be the best is still a 3 oriented sentiment.
Type 3 specifically wants to look good and will do anything to maintain their image: Again, this can fit some 3s but misses describing others. 3 influence (and in general, strong heart influence) seeks to control their image both in how they are perceived and how they perceive themselves to be. For 3s especially, this is based on traits that are seen as valued to them, will help them to reach their goals/get them what they want, or will be valued by others. If the 3 values being, say, intimidating, or are consistently getting pigeonholed into being seen as something they have no control over, the image they present or the self they cultivate may not be what is typically described as appealing or even good. If the 3 is constantly labeled as "lazy, villainous, or cruel," a 3 could integrate these traits into their presentation purely to provide a false sense of control over their own image. 3s may even find it appealing when others are disturbed or repulsed by them, as it bolsters that they are what they value. There is always an external tie of course, but this tie is not always a conscious one. On the other side of things, 3s are not necessarily immoral, unconcerned for their relationships, and willing to entirely throw their principles away for what they desire. Morality and principle are something that most people have regardless of type. While 3 cares about the image and their presentation, they still care that they are something that they can see as having worth. Being someone who only cares about how they're perceived and cannot match that with how they truly are is something many 3s struggle with and particularly moral or principled 3s aren't going to give up on morality, especially if being good and having a strong sense of reliability and moral code is how they view themselves to be. It's also worth noting that not every 3 is actually good at knowing how things will come across (even if they are oriented around their image), there's a lot of 3s that lack awareness of how their behavior actually gets interpreted by others and will actively make themselves look terrible.
3s only do things for the sake of their image: This is a common sentiment expressed by 3 fixers who will defend not being a 3 influenced when they mistype as 5, especially if they are academically oriented or enjoy learning/researching. 3s and those influenced by it are especially attuned to what is valued. In this example, intellect, being a lifetime learner, and being useful/self sufficient are all things that are both socially valued and things that people tend to like in general. 3s have interests too and, as assertive types, are connected to what they want. 3s will also go after what they want and what they genuinely enjoy because they enjoy it. They will often do it in a way that will bolster their self worth and has some (often unintentional, unconsciously set up) tie to the external, but like every type not everything is exclusively to feed the fixation.
3s are prideful and shameless: Oh they will certainly present this way, but the majority of 3s will be pretty connected to their sense of shame. It's kind of the same thing that happens with 9, as the 9 archetype is often depicted as being very disconnected from anger to the point of lacking awareness of it, but in reality most 9s struggle heavily with passive aggression and internal anger. 3s are often just as aware and connected to their internal insecurity and desire to be worth something as they are of their prideful, arrogant nature. 3s are ones that will overestimate their own own abilities, but many are painfully aware and moved by not being good enough or feel as though they are behind in some way.
Sp 3s are [insert countertype/Naranjo description]: I usually don't go directly after Naranjo or countertype, but the big thing I've noticed that this particular description is missing sp3s connection to the assertive triad and over eliminates the image orientation. This description is consistent with the way a lot of sp3s see and try to present themselves, as sp does remove a bit of the external orientation 3 typically has and brings emphasis on trying to generate a strong sense of self worth through competition with the self. For those typing exclusively off of the descriptions though, it's worth noting that these descriptions tend to also strongly resembles the 6 mindset. Even if this type often will take issue with their own image orientation and often does present and think of themselves as "anti-vanity" or even genuine, every image core will be focused on image, presentation, and identity as is typical of the heart triad.
#enneagram#3w2#3w4#enneagram 3#misconceptions#attachment types#typology#why you're mistyped#mystyping
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Today we're thinking about Tony, Happy, and Peter
Thinking about that time when Tony said to Peter, “That’s odd. Happy told me you quit band six weeks ago," and the fact that Happy would never have offered that information on his own. Like there is no way in hell Happy decided, with zero prompting and totally of his own volition, to bring up a change in Peter Parker's class schedule.
Meaning one of two things. Either (1) Tony asked Happy for that information, like he went out of his way to ask questions about Peter's life (and let's be real, how many follow-up questions do you think it would take to pester Happy into bringing up that detail),
or (2) Tony already knew on his own because he helicopter-dads stalks the hell out of Peter, and he's using Happy as an excuse.
#happy: why don't you just watch him then#but happy#you're asset management#and he's the asset#irondad#spiderson#irondad and spiderson#I mistyped pester as peter for a sec and now I need someone to write that as peter's nickname in a chatfic#pester parker#get it#two puns in one#he's a pest#iron dad#spider son#iron dad and spider son#peter parker#happy hogan#tony stark#thoughts
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i am. thinking about the barbie movie
#am gonna regret writing this later but. being trans is a special breed of feeling like you have to prove your masculinity#and it's extra fucked up cause whenever you feel like that you immediately feel like shit afterwards cause you know the other side and you#grew up knowing you were queer and now you feel like you're being antithetical to what the queer community is all about and the progress it#has made. like obviously [insert any number of things lol] does not make someone any less of a man. you know that and you know that you'd#never judge anyone else by that standard but at the same time clearly you still fucking believe in it since you judge yourself by it and#what if you're just judging other people unconsciously#and this ties back in to the movie cause the end w ken also rebrought up the question of 'do i actually want a romantic relationship or do#just feel like i *should* have one' and i'm kind of leaning towards the second option. bc it feels Good but in like.. i don't even know how#to describe it. like it's what i should be doing but not because *i* actually want to personally?#and i know that whatever kind/amount of attraction i have is bi but whenever i imagine the kind of relationship that would feel most 'right#(in that weird way) it's always w a girl. which is literally fucking just the beginning of these tags restated. bc that feels like the thin#i 'should' be doing as a guy (lmfaooo mistyped that as gay 💀) n i think the 'this feels right' is literally just gender euphoria which#again is fucking stupid as a shit bc obviously liking girls is not more masculine than liking guys and ofc i don't actually believe that#but then clearly i fucking DO because why the hell else would i feel that way for myself#anyway gonna go play in traffic 🙃 dear god please hit me with a bus. thanks
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love going into the chimereon tag and seeing blatant misinfo getting passed around as fact simply cause 1 person who had a shitty experience said it
I'm not gonna sit here and say chams are a good species, lord knows I'm annoyed af about the hiatus among other things
and I know people have had worse experiences, not gonna say they didn't, but that's an issue in it's own right
but if you're gonna fling dirt at least be accurate so you don't look foolish
chimereon guest artist are not making 1/4th of the total adoption sales for adopt batches
the chimereon group is making 1/4 of the total adoption sales for adopt batches
guest artist earn 75% of the total revenue of the sold adopts, the remaining 25% goes directly to seel
this is directly told to people when applying for guest artist adoptions, you have to agree before applying
it's not suddenly thrust upon you after you've done your batch and sold all your adopts
is the split fair? that's for each individual artist who applies to decide. If you don't want to give the group 25% of the final total you make from adopts then don't apply ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
also guest adopts are non voidable not because 'they can be someone's dreamy'
it clearly states in the cham's t.o.s they cannot be voided because they were SPECIFICALLY created for the species
they weren't a myo slot used up, they weren't a custom design purchased of someone's existing character, etc
these designs were designed to be apart of the group from the start and that's why they aren't allowed to be removed from the group
as someone who did a guest artist batch I wouldn't be too pleased to find out someone voided a design I made for the species, it just wouldn't sit right with me but that's my personal stance on the matter
I'm sure some guest artist may not feel the same
and I'm not saying this is why the rule was made but imo this is one reason why the rule makes sense
and again if you made a batch of adopts for the group you've seen the rules and have accepted the designs you made will be forever locked to the species, if you purchase/get traded an adopt design then you've read the rules and agreed the design will be tied to the species
if you don't read the t.o.s. that's 100% on you so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
again there's LOTS you can say about chimereons
the long hiatus and lack of updates
the fact mods continue to do customs and now make adopts but group members are now the ones trying to stir up engagement with unofficial events
the prices of most upgrade items
the lack of events even prior to the hiatus
how few myo slots go up for sale each time
how difficult it is to get into the species in general
just to name a few things
there's lots to say no doubt about it but learn to strike properly with your criticisms or you're just gonna get quickly disproven and then no one will trust any true criticisms you have on the subject
#this has been a personal post#people can say 'oh well you're in the species have a lot of chams and spend tons of money etc etc so that's why you defend 'em'#nah fam I ain't defending the species they can do that themselves#I mainly just hate misinfo getting spread when it's VERY EASY to find the truth ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also the part about the payment just to clarify the person who original stated it stated it correctly#the person relaying the info mistyped and got it incorrect#but again this just reiterates how easy it is to not only get something wrong but how easy it is to fact check#literally infos right there in the t.o.s. and guest artist application it's not hard
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ii. i love springsteen, faded blue jeans, tennessee whiskey
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: you know you'd always love him just like you love your whiskey and jeans.
a/n: i know i know, but it's been sitting in my draft for veryyy long. so let's give em a shot, shall we?
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚
yourusername
liked by logansargeant, sydneysweeney, dualipa, and 571,483 more
yourusername back view? check.
view all 13,597 comments...
logansargeant 85% better than before
⤷ yourusername well at least i have progress than last year ig🤷🏻♀️
username y/n dressing up as bruce springsteen is not on my bingo card for today
username WHERE'S THE RED HAT??
⤷ yourusername at some point i lost it on my trip to maranello
⤷ username girl that aint lost your hat is stolen
username where's lando btw hes not liking this post
⤷ username busy celebrating his victory and doing his selfie with nando and max
⤷ username he is liking this but with his burner account
⤷ username which burner account are you talking abt
⤷ username the other one
username spill your jeans bestie
⤷ yourusername hnm!
sydneysweeney just missed the belt part, and even without the red hat it'll be just perfect.
username we just need to wait for her live to hear her randomly sing this
landonorris sure miss born in usa
⤷ yourusername sure am😎
username slayed and yass-ed
username i miss lando and y/n when they're still living together
⤷ username wait they're not?
⤷ username maybe they're still, but lando now is busy as ever and so do her
username i love american core y/n
⤷ username logan and y/n: 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅🔥🔥🔥
username still had no idea how tf is THE lando norris is meeting a girl like her
⤷ username dude if you're jealous just say it
username (late) halloween costume of the year
yourusername
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yourusername betty and whiskey🥃👠
view all 9,556 comments...
fransisca.cgomes need that shirt like right now!
⤷ yourusername i ❤️ la betty is perfect
⤷ francisca.cgomes giving marilyn monroe
landonorris the prettiest to ever exist
landonorris MY GIRL
landonorris you're so beautiful🥴
⤷ yourusername you're as sweet as my whiskey
⤷ username he is so lovesick with her i can tell
⤷ username easy lando easy
⤷ username who am i in this big world
⤷ username lando is giving a love drunk man spam commenting his girlfriend's random post
username WHY IS SHE SOOOO MOTHERRR
username her fit is so aesthetic i want it
yncloset slayed the fit as always
⤷ yourusername you got it 😉
username i mean lando's not wrong🤷🏻♀️ i'mma be him too if i were having a gf like her
carlossainz55 not enough. more for midnight
⤷ yourusername not so depressed rn but i'll it try next time my manager yelled at me😄
alexandrasaintmleux you are very pretty
yourusername so do you my sweetest<33 ilyyy
charles_leclerc when i'm literally RIGHT HERE
yourusername
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yourusername eyes to eyes.
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username he knows how to make me go feral
maxfewtrell okay now where's my photo credit?
yourusername ...i should put it on early
landonorris we'll (she'll) always remember you our hero🥺🥹
maxfewtrell you better be or if you two don't, i'll delete it all even before you guys even know what kind of photo am i capturing
maxfewtrell oh yeah i can spot his mistype in talking to taking because he's quite dizzy
username i love him, but i love them both more
username got that frat boy aura oh myyyyy
username her hand placement, and their eyes are looking so focused to each other's
username “when you're talking it's like i'm so in love with you all over again” I'M BAWLING ADOPT ME PLS
username she has no right to making me crying sobbing like thissss
username AHSBSBSBHSBSJSUSNWK
username OH GOOD LORD PLS I JUST WANNA BE SINGLE IN PEACE PLEEEASEE
charles_leclerc i don't know is it her or him who is lovesick🤔😬
⤷ landonorris both
⤷ charles_leclerc no, pick one
⤷ username THE “PICK ONE” THING ASKAJSSKK
⤷ danielricciardo do it to him next time if he posted about alex
⤷ charles_leclerc no fair
landonorris
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landonorris love you forever more 💕
👤: maxfewtrell, yourusername
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username they finally tagged max‼️‼️
username frat boy looking lando: 🫨🥴😩💀
username maxfewtrell is the pic an act of revenge bcs the second one's blurry?
⤷ maxfewtrell nah, i dropped the camera earlier
username guys i think he's the one who is lovesick
⤷ charles_leclerc I KNEW IT!!!
⤷ username bro how long have you been here
username the dim light pose is too good
username i know he see it coming
⤷ maxfewtrell quick reflex is my forte
⤷ landonorris one of the reason why it's shaky and blurry
username is it confirmed that lando is actually has two wag?
⤷ yourusername we get along well, right, maxfewtrell?
⤷ maxfewtrell we fight occasionally, but overall, we're good.
donatellaversace donatella VERSACE 💜
⤷ username idk how but why is donatella is on lando's page
⤷ gigihadid probably because of y/n tag🤷🏼♀️
⤷ username why is her comment is just like that?
⤷ gigihadid that's normal
landonorris
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landonorris before/after
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landonorris no comment about the hat okay
⤷ pierregasly i just want to do it
⤷ danielricciardo that fucking funky looking hat
⤷ landonorris what about no
yourusername he found it
⤷ pierregasly good info
username is the hat says sex?
⤷ username no it's sexy
⤷ username oh...
username i understand the exhaustion dw
username no bc clubbing all night is exhausting as fu you don't understand
⤷ username especially when the liquor is out
username her favorite is whiskey, apparently...
⤷ username no way bcs me too... does this means 😏
⤷ username no fran she's not
username is the book says i love dick?
⤷ yourusername dick in mean is dickinson
⤷ landonorris lie
⤷ landonorris it's dick in mean you know what
yourusername added to their story!
caption: 🧡🧡🧡
carlossainz55 replied to your story!
: since when did he dressed up like that
yourusername
: since he decided it's too hot to leave his trousers at home
carlossainz55
: 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
lando.jpg
liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 299,740 others
lando.jpg night's out
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username THE HAND PLACEMENT??????🥴😵💫🫨
username night's out under the guise of jeans label
⤷ username i know it's a trap
username the way i spit my morning tea as soon as i swiped right
username damn his hands are big enough to fit the both of her arse cheeks
username alternative caption: lando in the urge to make out but realized max is already captured the whole thing
⤷ maxfewtrell imagine of how i feel during that time😔😔
username DARK SHIRT LANDO?????
username oh that hand could choke me and i'll thank him
username love me some black shirt lando
yourusername
liked by maxfewtrell, landonorris, and 281,776 others
yourusername i do rubber ring here
view all 7,193 comments...
taylorswift that is so cute 😍🥹
username even taylor said it's cute
⤷ username taylor approved👍
username GIRL SHE PROPOSED TO YOU PLS SAY YES
⤷ yourusername i'd say a thousand yesses
⤷ landonorris really?
⤷ username are we gonna watching them proposing in the comments section?
username can't wait for baby norris
⤷ username girl that's gonna be sooo long
⤷ username dw i'm patient
lando.jpg
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lando.jpg weekend
👤: charles_leclerc, yourusername
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charles_leclerc real glad i'm tagged
⤷ yourusername imagine if i don't remind him to tag you
⤷ lando.jpg imagine
⤷ daniel3.jpg imagine
yourusername i know what's gonna happen next believe me
⤷ username i believe you
maxfewtrell lan don't do that to her if you don't want her to have a back pain afterwards
⤷ yourusername i'm okay
⤷ maxfewtrell yeah now, but wait until he lost control and drop you
username 💀💀💀 you see max's comments?
username damn max with his imagines
username let's not jump into the worst
username but what if, right?
yourusername added to their story!
landonorris added to their story!
#✶!#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando norris smau#lando norris fluff#f1 x you#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 smau
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thinking of some random ellie hcs...
this is a repost…
these headcannons are purely based off what i think ellie would be or what i think she'd do. tell me if you agree or send a specific headcannon if you'd like. im always open.
ALSO! i have big fucking hands and i mistype all the time and somehow even though i think aloud when i type i forget to add the word... so if there's any mistakes….. pay no mind…. please.
sfw hc:
• modern day ellie definitely had an emo phase, fringe and all. her hair all disheveled, doodling on her arm as her 'tattoos'.
• she most definitely had a 'im not gay' phase. she was so paranoid of anyone finding out that she was attracted to girls, if a group of friends of hers complimented one of them, ellie would say something like, "yeah... you're cool... or whatever" thinking if she ever called one of them pretty, they'd find out. simultaneously alway asking hypothetical questions like, "what if we got married...? that would be so crazy right? …yeah."
• her first kiss was absolutely the most awkward, painful kiss anyone could witness. she's definitely gotten better but her first kiss was just a long press... eyes all the way open.
• she'd have numerous bruises and scars from skateboarding. she seems like the type to try to do tricks with majority of them busting her ass. she'd come in with a cast on her arm and a scratch on her cheek saying, "hey guys!" as if she didn't look like she ate shit.
• she either wears a binder or no bra at all. i can see her liking the idea of being flat chested even though she is on the smaller side (which i find cute) and she'd flex in the mirror whenever she'd put it on. other times, she might be braless and not care that her nipples are poking out of her shirt.
• this brings me to my next he, she'd most definitely have nipple piercings... here me out... but it'd only be one. i dunno why i see her with only one, but it seems fitting. she'd have the standard bar and circle balls.
• she throughly enjoys metal music and dabbled in the punk scene. she wouldn't go full out in her wardrobe, she's definitely a wear a band shirt and have patches on my jacket from time to time kinda gal. you'd see her in local punk show events, in the pit going rampant. that would also be another way how'd she get random bruises scattered on her.
here's some nsfw ones..
• she loves getting head standing up. your nose plunging and bumping up into her clit. just to have her pants still at the center of her thighs with her hand behind your head, fucking your face and watching you do it? that would make her go absolutely feral.
• after fingering you shes definitely the type to want to smell her fingers but discreetly. even if it were to bump against your pussy, she'd act like her nose would itch but she's so bad at trying to be nonchalant that you'd notice.
• she's a lesbian porn feen. she likes to watch homemade videos where the quality is all fucked up and grainy or even the solo ones where the girl is fucking herself so mercifully. she definitely talks to the screen as if they could hear her saying things like, "yeah... keep fucking that pretty pussy" or "make her feel that cock." when she's watching strap video.
• there's a lot of discourse around if ellie is an ass or boob kind of gal and quite honestly, i think she's both. she'd wrap her arms around you, groping your breast while grinding herself on your ass.
• she loves to trib/scissors. to have her clit against yours and rut herself as fast as she can would have her incredibly high off lust. she's into the missionary kind, where your legs are pulled back and she's squatting down on you so she could feel everything.
• she has an outtie in regards to her pussy. for some reason i see her being a little more 'fleshy' down there. i can see her having a clit a little on the bigger side and having flowery vulva so whenever you have her head, she'd fill your mouth whenever you sucked it.
• she has body hair but not large amounts just a bit on her legs. she has a happy trail for sure and she maintains her pubes where it's not a full on bush but it's not completely bald either. picture your hair growing back after it's been completely shaven off and shes about two weeks in growth.
• she wears her strap in public sometimes. something about her screams, ‘i can fuck you right here, right now, just ask and ill whip it out.’
that's all, thank you for coming to my ted talk.
#lesbian#sapphic#wlw#tlou#the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie x you#ellie williams headcanons#ellie headcanons#ellie williams smut#ellie x masc reader#ellie smut#ellie x fem reader#ellie tlou2#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us
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you're obsessed
you're obsessed
Pairing: Jamie Tartt x fem!actress!reader
Warnings: swearing, no use of y/n
Summary: jamie tartt fic where he has a huge crush on an actress and sees her at a richmond event and she flirts w him he’s really shy bc he likes her but they hook up after idk
Wordcount: 1.6k
A/N: didnt manage to write any smut bc this was getting way too long teehee :D general warnings for swearing.
writing comms are open!
“Oi, Tartt! Stop stalking your actress and give me some laps,” Roy yells, shaking Jamie from his reverie. Jamie is not stalking her instagram. He’s just not; because a stalker would have notifications on as they obsessively checked their profile at least four times every minute. Jamie is only checking once every five minutes, and he doesn’t even have her notifications on. So there. Suck it, Roy.
“Fine, don’t give yourself an aneurysm,” he mutters, taking a quick minute to stretch before he’s running around the pitch. He just has a crush. That’s all. A little one. He first saw you in some thriller that came out last month, and something about you had him hooked. Initially he thought it was just the character you played, a regular yet charming civilian, pulled into the crime world. After watching (admittedly, way too many) interviews, he realised it wasn’t the character. It was you.
You with your witty remarks and comments. The way you laughed good naturedly and poked fun at your costars. The way you were clumsy and scatterbrained, in a terribly endearing way.
It didn’t help that you were also gorgeous.
So, yeah. Jamie had a slight crush. It was fine, though, because you were currently based in Los Angeles (you were in a new Marvel movie) and had no plans of coming to the UK anytime soon.
“She’s right fit, though,” Isaac says, nudging Jamie as he runs past.
Jamie feels his stomach tighten with jealousy before he catches himself. Why was he jealous? He didn’t know you and you probably didn’t even know he existed. Well, maybe you did, because he was sexy and a hot football player. Did you even watch football? Would you watch it if you knew he was in it?
Jamie remembers hearing something about a parasocial relationship from Keeley and resolves to not think about you.
At least while he was training.
***
He’s spraying on cologne in the locker room when Keeley bursts in, all smiles and pep.
“Oh. My. Fucking. God!”
“Is everything alright?” Ted asks, breaking away from Coach Beard who as far as Jamie could tell, hasn’t said anything but is managing to have a full conversation with Ted.
“You will not believe who I booked for this years’ Gala!”
Roy’s ears perk up at this as he slides into the conversation. “The Muppets?”
“No, Roy,” Keeley says, exasperated, “not the fucking Muppets. Only the hottest new actress on screen right now!”
At this point, all the boys have gathered around Keeley, jostling each other and trying to see the screen of her phone. Jamie fights his way to the front, and when his eyes focus on Keeley’s phone, he’s pretty sure his heart drops into his stomach.
It was you. There. With your smile and your eyes and your name and a headline.
You were coming to their Gala.
You.
He feels his heart drop into his stomach. This couldn’t be real. Maybe it was a mistype, or someone accidentally said they scheduled you but in reality you were on the other side of the globe. It was faked. It had to be.
He broke away from his team, practically running back to the changing rooms. Opening up your instagram, he pulled up your story. There, you had reposted the announcement.
Oh. Oh fuck.
***
On the day of the Gala, Jamie seriously considers hiring a stylist rather than just going with his gut. He needs to look good. Tonight is most probably one of the most important days of his life. His favourite actress, coming to his club’s Gala. Maybe, if he plays his cards right, you’ll bid on him.
Wait. Who was he kidding? He’s Jamie fucking Tartt. Of course you’ll bid on him. He could wear a trash bag and you’d bid on him, because he is just that fucking sexy.
Right?
He shoots a quick text to Keeley, desperate for a second opinion.
Me:
[image0.png]
thoughts? Xx
Keeley:
Ur hot babes!!
Gonna knock em dead xx
Lose the tie u look like a prick <3
He takes one last look in the mirror, running his hands through his hair. Yeah. He’s gonna show up and be so cool. He’s so cool.
***
They’re taking pictures on the carpet, and everyone can tell Jamie is not all there. He barely tells the paparazzi to take pictures of his good side, following it up with “And that’s any side.” His eyes keep darting around, every scream and shout of delight sending his stomach in knots in case you’re the one to step out of the limousine.
Maybe you just won’t show up. Maybe you were already inside.
He can’t decide which option is worse.
When he’s at the end of the carpet, about to head inside, he hears whistles and screams, different from the ones before. These sound a lot more excited, filled with more adrenaline and anticipation. Or maybe he’s just projecting.
He turns, and sure enough, you’re there.
Stunning. That’s the only thing he can think of. You smile beautifully at the photographers, working the crowd with ease. It was as if you were friends, had a solid rapport with them with the way you were conversing back and forth.
“Close your mouth. You look like a fucking basking shark,” Roy says, elbowing Jamie in the stomach.
He flinches back, giving Roy a shove in return. “Oi, what was that for?”
“You’re not gonna make a good impression with you gawking like a fucking idiot. Go say hi or something. Be fucking normal.”
Jamie sends Roy an affronted look. “I am normal, you old bastard. Just because we don’t act like how you did in the 1800s doesn’t mean I’m being an idiot.”
Roy just growls, shoving past him into the building.
Jamie takes a step forward to follow when a voice catches his attention.
“Hey! You’re Jamie Tartt, right?”
He turns on instinct, a winning smile already plastered on his face. “I’ll do autographs once—you.”
You raise your eyebrows slightly, waiting for him to go on. “Once I what?”
“You’re, um, you’re her.” He says your name, almost reverently.
Your grin widens, almost giddy. “You know who I am?”
“I follow you—” before he could say more, your manager rushes in behind you, ushering you inside. You wince at him, apologetic, before heading inside.
Jamie stands there, dumbfounded.
I follow you? That’s what he had to say? Now he really does sound like a stalker. He scrubs his hand over his face, groaning in disappointment.
He’s gonna make it up to you. He has to.
***
Inside, he sees he’s sat with Ted and Roy as well as a few other people and an empty seat next to him. He largely ignores his own table, trying to catch sight of you and not succeeding in the slightest. He huffs a sigh of annoyance, sliding into his seat.
Ted notices his glum aura, nodding sagely. “It’s the oysters, isn’t it? Because I know they have to try to make the flavour appeal to everyone but adding this much lemon is just downright insultin’.”
“It’s not the oysters, coach.”
Ted frowns. “The placemats? I was never really an eggshell white person myself but—”
“Jamie’s pining over an actress he thinks I don’t see him stalk on insta when he’s supposed to be running drills,” Roy cuts in, tired of Ted’s guessing.
“I’m not pining,” Jamie pouts, crossing his arms in a decidedly not childish way.
Before Roy could get another rebuttal out, the seat next to him is being filled, and once again he sees you, smiling at him. “Actresses are overrated,” you say, placing your napkin over your lap, “trust me.”
Jamie’s blood runs cold, convinced the universe is playing a cruel trick on him. Running into you is an absolute dream, he’d never deny that, but running into you with both Ted and Roy there? He may as well be taken out back and shot.
He must’ve been sitting there agape for too long, because before he knows it, Ted is reaching a hand over and giving yours a shake.
“Ted Lasso, it’s a pleasure to meet ya’. I absolutely loved you in that thriller that came out last June. Had me on the edge of my couch! And I know Jamie here liked it as well, he was bawling a right mess by the end of it.”
You turn to look at Jamie, and having the full force of your attention on him made him nearly choke on air. “Were you really?”
Jamie licks his lips, trying to gain some composure. “Bawling is sayin’ a lot, really. More like a reasonable cry.”
You nod along, clearly not buying it.
“I’ve been keeping up with your games this season. The goal you scored against West Ham the other day was seriously impressive. You were practically miles away from the net.”
Immediately, Jamie perked up. “You like football?”
“Well, I’m no expert, but I definitely try to watch all your games if I can.”
Jamie leans in, feeling bold and taking your hand in his. “Richmonds games? Or my games?”
You shrug. “Depends on the hair.”
He laughs, leaning back in his chair, body turned towards you. Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.
#ari speaks#ari writes#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt x y/n#ted lasso#jamie tartt fanfiction
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tried to type up a quick transcript of motaz's stories featuring the anonymous phone calls. it's baffling.
(i think my recording software might have cut off the end of some clips, and i may have misheard/mistyped slightly as the audio is muddled, so if you can go listen for yourself)
transcript under 'keep reading'
[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
caller: hello?
motaz: hello
caller: hello motaz, how are you?
motaz: i'm fine
caller: fine? fine day to go to the beach?
motaz: yeah, sounds lovely
caller: hm?
motaz: yeah, who are you?
caller: i don't understand
motaz: (slowly) who are you?
caller: ehh... i'm nobody. but anyways, um, can you like, post a story maybe condemning hamas so this can all end?
motaz: what?
caller: can you post a story maybe against hamas?
[next clip]
motaz: it's been going on since 1948, okay? and for us, we believe this is our land, and you believe it's your land, and this is the fight we'll never end until the last day of this life. okay? but i'm not understanding why you need me to show you what you want to show, because i'm palestinian. what do you expect me to show? show that -
caller: i expect you - i expect you to - what i think is best for you is - obviously you're a camera man, and i don't think you would harm - let's say you're - you're just a person you know
motaz: yeah, but if you are afraid from the pictures, you are so weak. you should know that. if the pictures are harming you, you should know there's something wrong with you.
caller: no -
motaz: because as you said, i can't harm anyone
caller: let's think for a second. gaza is divided into two. the north fled to the south
[next clip]
caller: i can say, all the people that are marching, protesting in the street, saying 'free palestine' they don't really care. honestly, motaz. if they cared, they would go fight the war together. people are fake. all the people that say in the comments when you post a post 'may Allah save you guys, may Allah -' no they don't - they care about it to a certain point. they don't really know anything about it. they're going to go down today, like - they're not going to do anything. they are just making noise.
motaz: yeah, making noise, but if this is annoying for you or for israel it's your problem, because you are killing people, okay? you are genociding my people. so if, if i'm gonna stand and watch - i don't know who the hell who are you, okay? and uh.. but believe me after what i saw, after what i experienced, i don't care about my life, okay? you destroyed the whole strip, like, the only part we were happy about having, a small part of our country, okay? and it's now destroyed. and you were right when you called the first time that there'll be [the army?] there'll be more bombing, more killing, 'don't go to the borders, don't go to the north,' and i try, uh, to be careful, but, uh, the killing never stops. i mean, i'm in the south, i'm in the middle area, eh, you can't -
caller: isn't it possible for your people to flee to egypt?
motaz: why to flee to egypt, man? it's not our country. why to flee? we have our country. why flee to egypt? be reasonable, okay, be reasonable when you are talking.
caller: i care about life.
motaz: you care about life? stop the killing, man. stop the killing. you are going to have the most powerful weapons in the whole world -
[new clip]
motaz: i'll say it to you, the first time you called me, i was terrified, because a lot of journalists have lost their lives. but now, believe me, now i swear to god i don't give a fuck, because we are all gonna die. so, at least, i will, if i die, i die while trying to do something for my people. this is from my side. eh, something else - you expect me to affect on my people, or to give them advice to go to, to egypt? to flee from the strip?
caller: yeah, it's not about right and wrong, it's about surviving. if you wanna die in the name of Allah, you can, you can say 'i don't care about dying anymore.'
-video cuts off-
[END TRANSCRIPT]
#i apologize if this is a really messy typed up version my speakers are shit. feel free to rb with translations if you can#but i think people need to see. just absolutely insane#keep talking#palestine#free palestine#israel#motaz azaiza
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just to say upfront You not have any right to repost my art at all, you got here through your own course of actions and only now you want to suggest possibly 'I.d.'ing them yourself?
Multiple people block you and you keep harassing them, literally having an account called blockdodger22, @'ing people and you think that's okay?
You do not know how to have any etiquette online, much less talking to people in a clear concise way and then getting pissy with them for not bending over backwards for you.
You have no concept of being respectful.
You are behaving as an obsessive, stalking, creep. Flat out. How are you online and do not take a block and leave.
It is as simple as that.
You did not even start out our first 'exchange' with a clear message and goal.
You kept commenting under peoples posts just at random, especially after just freshly following them. Saying "Image description?" and myself included didn't understand what you're even asking about. Under multiple posts you asked me that and I didn't even know what was wrong with my description under my image until a friend told me you were asking for a description of the image itself not that you were questioning the actual description under my image.
Another person even brought to my attention you flat out said to them on their own post
"Image description?"
"I should not have to ask more than once."
paraphrasing as you even mistyped once then corrected your typo. So much time to just correct that and comment instead of just. doing what you command of people.
What gives you the right to even demand any of that from anyone?
Which is not even a proper exchange, it's you barking orders at people like they're a bot and not someone to converse with. You put your time and energy into continuing this act not just towards sme but multiple other people online. Instead of just bringing it up to someone and leaving them with the choice to try to do it or not.
You do not get to demand what people put on their posts or not. If it has been such an issue do not follow them. For me I want to post my artwork with the minimal words i can because I'm tired. I want to post and go. This is an art blog. I post my art and I go. I do not even have a far reaching "platform" like you're trying to insinuate. If i did, i would've been able to keep up my patreon with enough money to comfortably have. But I didn't and I had to close my patreon because i could not grow it and all my energy went into patreon rewards with very little income for me and couldn't actually find the time to create what I wanted.
You want to act like this is me hating accessibility but this is you wanting to come on, annoy people unprompted, numerous times to random people on the internet and being blatantly rude and demanding and backpedaling as if this is an actual care.
You are a rude and hypocritical individual coming up to bother people in the name of "accessibility" . You do not genuinely care.
People who actually cared would not go this obsessive, harassing, rude length.
You spend more energy doing this than doing what you say you set that server out to do! In multiple times you wanted to 'contact me' you would post the same comment under over 10 posts with no clarity, I tell you i'm annoyed and with a broken keyboard with multiple people attesting because they're actually close enough to see me in discord servers and streams to see the broken keys you wanted to act as if you knew better. as if I'm the liar. you came onto my posts just to get snotty and bratty. So I of course block you. months pass, I get a new laptop, you use your blockdodger22 tumblr account and only THEN want to declare there's a discord server to 'help'.
"But I literally sent you a link to people who will do this for you. And I'm in that server too. I'm in there helping people who care about accessibility."
If this is how you act to random people online, why would I ever want to come into a server with you? If this is how you behave? Why would anyone?
if you did care you would flat out be commenting on the image description you want to see typed out for yourself. As many people already DO on tumblr without any issue at all! you wouldn't have to do this fake song and dance.
I've had multiple people in the past of my works,- typically only Steven universe fanart itself which i do not make a ton of, only adopts, They will reblog with the image description. They don't even have to ask, they just do it. Why? Because thats what they want to do and what they care about.
You want to say "Oh I'm only trying to help, I guess you don't care about accessibility." You did not want to help, you wanted to make a mountain out of a molehill to random people online who are not influencers or even big time corporations. You are not treating anyone I see you come into contact with any respect or politeness.
All you genuinely want is to either
1. feel better about yourself thinking you're doing good with something you're not putting the actual energy towards that you say is important to you. Like other people online, who do that thing and especially do it for artists unprompted because they want to SEE it being done and take the time for themselves.
or
2. to look for a fight using these people as a smokescreen because you keep obsessively trying to get people's attention on their posts and then act automatically like you're in the right despite being nasty and rude online.
If you cared so much you would be putting your money where your mouth is. You would be putting your energy into putting all these image descriptions on these images that you want without all this fluff. But you don't, why? I genuinely don't care for an answer from you. I want you to leave me and everyone else alone.
There's people behind these screens, you don't care, you only care if people do what you say at a moment's notice.
You want to say I don't care about people with disabilities for the fact I don't do one thing. One thing that only you have demanded of me in all my ten years on this blog.
You're acting as if I'm bashing people online and saying they have no right to be here. As if I hate them. You're now just wanting to paint a broad stroke of me hating disabilities in general instead of the actual topic at hand. I make multiple characters with disabilities for myself and my adopts. That I myself have issues too.
I am doing my own thing. I am simply posting my art. You are simply annoying the hell out of many artists myself included.
This is a matter of me disliking you.
Especially when I found out you are not only harassing me but people around me, other artists and even smaller artists at that! What gives you the gall and the right to be acting so self righteous when all you've done is act as a genuine dick to people.
#marrow talks#The one thing i hate the most is people being rude not just to me but others as well#To demand things of anyone is attrocious behavior especially to random people you dont know online#i know a lot of people wont get whats been going on because i ignored a lot of this person#but literally i tell them to stop spamming comments with the same comment they get up in arms#ofc i block and then months later they return with a block dodging tumblr account to only then say hey theres a server to do this for you#then i ignore them and block because why would i want to be around them#and then they come in to EMAIL A SUBMISSION because of double blocking#i want to be left alone!#leave me alone!
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being your secretary.txt
━ type: bts x gn! reader ━ masterlist
━ about: fluff and crack, emphasis on the last one
━ pictures taken from Pinterest ━ previously posted on soraviii
NAMJOON:
king of business casual attires
he hates wearing full suits, those are for exclusive meetings only as he finds them too stuffy
essentially somehow gets away with wearing a t-shirt by tossing a suit jacket over it
has a ton of nonprescription glasses that he wears fully for the right look of it, in reality, he wears his contact lenses and then glasses on top
would die of embarrassment if anyone found out about this
Also, definitely does not wear them just because you mentioned liking them on him once
arrives 10 minutes before you and prepares the morning briefing
power walks when he's irritated
if anyone hears those familiar dun dun dun steps, they scramble as fast as humanly possible
has been banned from the office kitchen after a very unfortunate coffee-making incident
gets cosmically stressed every other Wednesday and lets out this frustration by briefly screaming at the top of his lungs
does he know people can hear him? Does he care?
always knocks on your door before leaning through the gap and asking: "may I come in?"
nothing gets past him about you: which hotel are you staying at, when's your mother's birthday, what was the colour of the pen that you used to sign the documents with, it's all noted in his expansive calendar and notes
he knows it all
but about himself?
boy, oh boy, he makes you stressed
if you're on an overseas business trip, he can list the entirety of the ingredients in the foods you'll have on the plane and then you can point out:
"Didn't you have your passport hung around your neck?"
he freezes and in his eyes, you can spot, by now familiar, 404 error code
loses his work ID every other week
is available 24/7 'cause he's a workaholic
gets mistyped as the boss 99% of the time
if it's by someone whose particularly annoying he's all condescending and smug
"Actually..."
a big fan of saying "actually" when he's petty; anyone who hears it, knows that they're about to be deep-fried by an unlimited amount of sarcasm
during the first stage after being hired, he definitely stayed to work overtime to avert any conceivable flaws
you found him, hunched over the desk with a dim desk lamp as his only companion
"Why are you still here?" you question curiously and he nearly jolts out of the chair
"Just...just going over these fact sheets," he stammers. "Don't want to get anything wrong."
you had to wrestle him to leave
once he becomes more comfortable with you, begins to joke but more often than not follows it up with coughing "ignore that" as he lives in almost a perpetual state of embarrassment
does extra work at home over dinner
if you show up at his doorstep, emotionally distraught, he welcomes you warmly despite hardly being able to see through his sleep-laced eyes
And if he may or may not notice your stare lingering on the muscles of his arms revealed, he may or may not weaponise that knowledge when meeting outside of the office by wearing tight shirts and lifting his arms behind his head to flex said muscles
outside the office prefers to meet at the park
Because he definitely does not imagine it as a date
workers at the canteen hate him as he habitually harasses them for snacks when stressed
always has a book or two on his table, he doesn't even have the time to read them but he keeps them around as an emotional support
if you have something ultra-specific that calms you down be it a stim toy, a plush, or a candy he has that in his pockets always carrying it around
makes a show of making a thirst trap filled Instagram and then "casually" mentions it in passing so you'd give it a follow
why exactly does he need seven consecutive grey sweatpant workout selfies there?
it's for the uh....aesthetic, he answers, face as bright as a ripened tomato
goes on hilarious tirades after the events, complaining about how this and that was stupid
you let him, enjoying the chatter with a soft smile
is of tremendous help when writing any speech or anything that needs a literary nuance
always very proud of you
in a way, holds himself to a higher standard after meeting you
has a special encouraging smile for when you give speeches to motivate you on
and while glimpsing across the crowd you know you can never truly fail in his eyes
YOONGI:
no matter how impossible always gets things done
despite bemoaning and bitching about it, is actually great at handling inner office relationships
always manages to make everyone stay on the track
keeps various assortments of snacks on his table
loathes the entire HR team though there is no special reason behind it
where Namjoon goes in front of you to announce your presence, Yoongi is a silent shadow constantly on the lookout
has listened in on so many conversations, he's at this point a human spyware
most people dismiss him as a quiet, reserved, grinding sort of secretary but in actuality, he's playing the same game as you with just as much vigil
if someone slights you, so much as breathes a snide comment he'll let you know and then help you to deal with it
and if someone disrespects you, there's murder in his eyes
wears proper attire but hates the jacket so mostly walks around with a button-up shirt
that may or may be damning when he decides to roll up the sleeves
if the AC is not working as it should, he will dRAG the maintenance by the ear to have it fixed
has knowledge of things you never thought possible
for example, on a random drive to the office he may mutter, off-hand:
"Give your friend a call, today is their birthday"
could recite your dietary preferences while in a coma
tussles with any cook to keep them in mind whether on a lunch run or in a five-star hotel
when it's a late work day, often teases you with a nonchalant tone
something about a softer atmosphere, the dark outside the window and the dim light of your office makes him relaxed and feel closer to you
when you praise him and he's feeling cute, pulls this exact face whilst turned away from you
beCAUSE it's embarASSING
has laughed at you once when you walked into a door
doesn't wear glasses often but when he does you know he means business
you know he's aware of the power he holds and wields it with no regret or regard for the poor souls suffering at the end of these good looks
has three to five people in love with him at all times but rejects them very gently always making it seem he's a horrible catch
and not because he's attached to a certain boss
has made you food on his free days but doesn't know how to give it to you for months
so in the end he just brushes it off with an "I made too much so if you want here it is" and it just so happens to be your favourite meal
softly scolds you sometimes
if you wear eccentric clothes playfully teases you about it as well
has established weekly "trash talk sessions" with you and the janitor for the sake of his mental health
if anyone rags on him (rightfully) for lazing around he gets so offended lmao
"I'm bUsY!"
boogies when he succeeds after a particularly hard project
never acts cute on purpose but is so cute
has drunk dialled you once and deep down remains mortified despite pretending it's not a big deal
doesn't stay a single second after office hours are over, he's not about that capitalist life nah
and yet if you ask for help works the entire night and the next one and the next one
he's not about the capitalism but he is about you
at a company event, you can find him in the corner asleep
love or hate it, he knows the entire roster of the people you've dated before even if it was just a middle school crush, he has that information
if there's an important event, is there since the morning overseeing everything to the tiniest detail
if you appear in a televised interview watches it with sweaty palms
and if you're in a newspaper or a magazine he buys them and keeps them on his coffee table at home
if you drag someone through the absolute filth you know he's in the corner trying not to beam like a sunshine
sometimes on business trips after hours really lets his hair loose so to speak and you see another side of him
the bubbly giggly side and it's so adorable you want to eat him
(for the nasty people out there...you perverts)
and while we're at it he gets kind of flirty
if someone gets too handsy with you, death glares at them
is always working the angle on getting a raise, and while Yoongi is not about these capitalist schemes, he does love getting the coin
can often be found muttering underneath his nose that he's not paid enough to do this even if "this" in question is talking to someone whose a bit more annoying
big fan of wine drinking after work in the comfort of his home
often picks up his phone to text you an invitation but discourages himself from doing it every time
JIN:
always looks his absolute best
another king of business casual
but unlike Namjoon doesn't just throw on a suit jacket and call it a day
actually invests in good quality jumpers and shirts so he always looks expensive
and it may or may not be a deep gaping wound in the egos of many at the office
everyone talks to him but he rarely talks to them back
y'know
like he's popular because people decided he is not due to his own effort
with a face like that, he was bound to be, right
is by far and I do mean by far one of the most unorthodox secretaries ever to exist
you can swear that one second he has you thinking he'll never be able to do this and the next you're ready to worship him as he caught onto a mistake that could ruin the entire company
Jin gets things done but no one knows how exactly ???
though everyone has agreed that he looks superb in suits even if it simultaneously damaged everyone's ego
hates talking to clients, investors etc. etc.
but!
dude's an actor
so by being the fakest little bitch in the room, he manages to charm even the most heinous of competitors
has an adequate business brain
even if he says things that are undoubtedly questionable
like that one time he pitched the idea of selling Shooky's cookie fam for profit T-T
has the healthiest work vs free time balance
is not available 24/7
in fact, he's only available for the time that he's governed to be at
it's 5 o'clock? Bye, bye, watch the fumes from his back as he speeds away
a huge enthusiast of reading webtoons and watching dramas during work
so you see how people might be confused about just how exactly he gets everything done
but at the end of the day, he does
and that's what matters
also, his plot recaps are actually quite funny so you may allow the dastardly attitude for the sheer amusement of it all
makes snacks for you and himself
brings a warm cup of tea when you're stressed
if you praise him...
(♡⸃ ◡ ⸂♡) makes this face
and melts
he might act that he's above people's opinions but actually deeply craves them
an expert at defusing the tension
both when people quarrel and when you feel too stressed
he reminds you that this is not the end of the world and even if it is, it doesn't end until it does
attaches post-it notes with ridiculous questions to your various folders
for example,
"Ten mini giraffes vs one giant rat who would win?"
is either excellent at fashion advice or the absolute worst, there is no middle
blushes a lot if you show him special care and attention
Don't do that
But also not not do that
is almost never at his desk
sometimes he might have just locked himself into the office pantry to get away from people
participates at all social events despite his own great agony
does it because you asked and if you say please he will begrudgingly move mountains should it be needed
has been mistaken numerous times for your partner
and he doesn't bother correcting that ;)
once upon a blue moon someone actually manages to piss him off
but unfortunately the general population, you included, simply find that hot
it's about the furrowed eyebrows
on an unrelated note, does anyone else find angry rj uncannily resembling angry Jin I know it's logical but all the same
HOSEOK:
hello and welcome the social CPU of the office
does he want to?
no, not really
but it's beneficial
and it makes the workflow much smoother
he's a perfectionist so it's all about the workflow
keeps everyone in great spirits
so when he comes in depressed and moping to work everyone's in great distress and trying to improve his mood
the most efficient is you
as you simply make him a drink, put it on his desk and gently say that you're grateful for all that he's done
it's like a shining beacon of light breaking through the stormy night
rarely if ever wears office-appropriate clothing
but he always looks great so no one complains
and it's easy to find him
the pop of colour stands against the grey office in an almost comical fashion
doesn't usually stay after hours but absolutely takes the work home
sometimes calls you after work to make sure of something
doesn't make a note of the private things concerning your family or friends
but keeps detailed vigil for anything you related
doctors appointments, holiday plans, your birthday, he has it all marked down
sometimes spruces up your interior by hanging balloons and leaving behind cheesy encouraging cards
especially if you've gone through a hard time
occasionally drinks or dines with you after hours
these talks always escalate from work into conversations about life, hobbies, passions etc.
sometimes chooses to not pick up calls from the office when he's free
but
if you call him from a private number can and will answer in the middle of the night, on the beach, on the toilet
those are reserved for emergencies
gets shy when you praise him and constantly downplays his achievements
refuses to be promoted saying he couldn't handle the pressure, he's not equipped etc.
but it's just because he wants to stay longer close like this with you
he's reasonably ambitious so wrestles with it but he enjoys doing this so he always refuses
has a very, very secret folder of photos taken by him on official gatherings and outings
some make him proud, some make him giggle
like the one where you're holding an entire sushi roll whilst frowning at the opening speech for the business conference
definitely is caught up in like 10 people's business because they ask for his help and he's too polite to reject them outright
hates coming to work in deep winter
that's the most dishevelled he'll ever look
contributes a great deal to the improvement of internal workings
makes sure to greet every single person coming his way, be it a janitor or manager
hence why everyone likes him so much
it's actually impossible not to like him
hence why he's designated as the one to break hard news around the office
because he somehow makes sure no one feels too bad
rarely takes breaks during working hours as he's busy tending to the needs of his favourites
first and foremost - you
has every minute of every day planned and scheduled
colour coordinates events
and also sticker coordinates
sometimes sticks a cute sticker on top of a folder to cheer you up
and yes that does include your lunch breaks
has a frightening capability of faking a pleasant smile
he could be planning a murder to the most minuscule detail and no one would be the wiser
JIMIN:
so first of all he bungled the interview
bad
he got into his head, was late, wound himself in such an ulcer-ridden stress ball he could only mumble incoherently underneath his nose
so he's almost in tears
but then you say yes
cause you see something sincere about him unlike the manufactured cutouts giving perfectly polite, impersonal, well-readied replies
and because of that Jimin overworks himself to bone
he's so anxious over any conceivable mistake that for the first three months he practically lives in the office
going everything over and over again with sleep-deprived eyes
when it inevitably begins to show on his face you sternly sit him down and explain either he's going to adhere to the office hours or you're going to fire him anyways, in order that proper authorities are not on your ass for exploitation
moping away like a kicked puppy, he obliges
is practically mute for the first months in your presence
he's terrified of disappointing you
but slowly the fear ebbs away
and after a few out-of-office meetings
in front of you might as well sit a different person entirely
despite taking the longest to get used to it, he's the best at the job
is at this point a walking calendar
everything from your dentist appointment to whether or not you've worn this outfit before sits in his mind
has a different notebook/calendar for the types of things he needs to remember all colour coordinated
pink is for you, red for emergencies and previous mishaps, blue for finance meetings, grey - to be ignored
leaves behind himself cute reminders
is especially fond of cute, stylized post-it notes that often have quite little to do with work
mainly he uses it as a means to fluster you
perhaps succeeds
when he's really comfortable
he feels free to be mad at you
the King of Petty when he's mad
but unlike your competitors, all you have to do is flutter your eyelashes and he's a molten goo of floating hearts
you two are honestly a terrifying duo
cause if your secretary is this intimidating, glaring down something heavy upon the unfavourable guests while looking like he just descended from heaven...
what are you like then? o_0
master of passive-aggressive comments
the longer he works there, the better his fashion becomes
to the point where he has a distinct silhouette that reminds people more of a runway model than an office worker
expensive
you get what I mean, he looks affluent and posh 'cause by now he's as much as the face of the company as you are
the "click clack" of his heeled shoes as he walks around T-T
spends 75% of his mornings at your home
your alarm clock fairy really
if you're on overseas trips also lingers in your hotel room
feels quite lonely at home due to the lack of people
has beef with certain people in the office
also gossip central
but if any of it branches to insult you, snitches but not before making the person feel so bad they want to crawl out of their skin
frequently brings you snacks, foods and drinks :')
types in a concerningly aggressive manner, very loud and decisive like he's writing a national announcement
also another enjoyer of a wine glass (or a bottle) after work
after some time he simply reeks of professionalism
and as you sit and smile at him knowingly, having envisioned this happening
he gives a shameless smile in turn, rolls his eyes and collects the empty tea cups:
"Don't get excited, I might think you like me too much"
TAEHYUNG:
cardigans
wears an excessive amount of cardigans and soft jumpers
appears more like a funded art student than a secretary
but don't be fooled :)
he's absolutely cutthroat :)
there are a lot of people in the company that don't like you
and Taehyung is determined to show them exactly where their place is
all while grinning like an innocent angel
gets side-tracked a lot
invests early on into specific aesthetic notebooks, pens and folders
and then forgets it halfway
so now his table is mismatched with something that looks like the reading space of a retired elderly historian and normal office space
can't be found at the said desk for anything
prefers to work in your office
especially if that involves laying down on the couch and complaining
tends to forget small events and dates
"Hello, we would like to confirm the meeting on today's afternoon?"
he's sitting there on the phone with a ???? on his face
hurries all over the place to correct his mistakes
so seeing him rush suddenly out the door as though his ass is on fire is not exactly surprising
does not talk until 11:02
he's awake but at what cost
another enjoyer of knocking your ass awake in the morning
but unlike Jimin doesn't roll up glammed out and with pancakes in hand
but with hair a mess and dry spit on the corner of his mouth
gazing at you with sleep-swollen eyes
"let's go," says he and then promptly passes out in the car
knows the canteen workers on a first-name basis
at any given time, has 10 to 15 people madly in love with him
he's aware of this and is awkward about it
tries to cutesy his way out of your wrath
and does so gloriously
though when things get serious, he goes into hyperfocus mode
doesn't even recognize or grasp that someone's speaking to him when he does
is an excellent "light in the dark" person
meaning he offers unexpected solutions just when you think the situation couldn't get too dire
is a pro at throwing dust into people's eyes
he can confuse anyone and or anything in mere seconds
which is great for stalling or befuddling a competitor
if you try to call him and he doesn't pick up he then replies with a selfie and a text: "what's up?"
has made his own network of secretaries
which makes him practically the mastermind of the information
wherever he goes he picks up a new person to befriend
and as such singlehandedly has made the largest impact on the company's social list than any other department in its history
you try to promote him multiple times but he constantly whines about how he "likes to be under your wing"
often kicks back in the chair and thinks about how he wants to go somewhere else and not sit in this stuffy office
but all he needs is a single glimpse towards you that he reconsiders
it's not that bad, he supposes
his writing down technique is an absolute nightmare
it's a pandemonium
but he insists there's an order to this chaos
is a professional because he ultimately gets things done
but doesn't act like it at all
is still his silly, goofy self
is fond of green spaces or walking through the building than just sitting by his desk
it makes his soul drain out of his ears
where other guys establish dominance over glasses
he has closets full of bags
coordinates his bags to the events or days of work
a whole plethora of colours, designs and sizes
all have a distinct size
has tried to sneak Yeontan into the office in one of the upper mentioned bags
you're working away in your office when suddenly a wet nose presses against your calf
you peak underneath the table and find two soppy brown eyes staring back at you
tried his hardest to convince you to allow people to bring their pets to work
frequently compliments you
buys flowers for your office which he sneaks in when you're not looking
never says it's from him but from who else
may or may not contemplate leaving you secret handwritten letters
but he knows you'd figure it out from the scrawling handwriting alone
JUNGKOOK:
is mistaken for your bodyguard
because he keeps acting like one T-T
has a permanent 🤨🤨🤨 when outside of the office
at first, you think what an angel, so nice, so polite, so quiet, does everything you ask
and then the mask ebbs away
and now you have to be with this annoying demon
teases you a lot
does so at least in private
so from the outside, it's laughable - the act he pulls
the sheer fake innocence he radiates, he should be awarded all the nominations
but as annoying as he is
which is a lot
is great at grinding through a shitload of work
seriously, when he enters the concentration zone it's like nothing can rouse him
and to be fair he's still a perfectionist
so if he feels like this somehow reflects his own persona he will work until it is nothing but the top tier
also great at brainstorming
makes a habit of cleaning your desk space
and hiding his own snacks in your drawers
you reach one time to get a pen and find there a kit kat bar
searches and inspires his office outfits from Pinterest
so make it somewhat office friendly edgy
would rather die than hang out with any of his coworkers outside of the office
you're not a coworker you're a you in his mind
if he meets you accidentally outside of work, freaks out and probably tries to act like he's Jungkook's long-lost twin brother or smth
and if you tease him about it, he can't take it all
drunk dials you on the reg
it's not a Friday evening if you don't receive a very weird, and dragged-out call from your whatever-coloured hair secretary
as much as he's bad with remembering professional boundaries within work, if he somehow finds himself in your living place, is absolutely mortified
stands there like a plank, not daring to breathe or t o u c h anything
frequently forgets a lot of things, like meetings or where he's supposed to be
so it's not unusual to see him dishevelled with his big ass eyes looking around confused as all hell
but at the end of the day, he does what is needed because the thought of you being disappointed in him, carves a hole within his weird but warm heart
after some time he knows how to act professional so people who don't know better think "wow, what a young upcoming genius"
only for that genius to play with matches in your office later on
so while he's not exactly good at handling his own tasks on his own
due to him becoming distracted
he's superb at helping you to get things done
so the main prerequisite is to work with him side by side
and it's not at all just a ploy to spend more time with you
doesn't want to but somehow gets entangled with your family
has babysat/dog sat/catsat (??) for your friends and or relatives
they probably hound the shit out of you where's the nice young man
yeah, probably has a secret account that he uses to stalk you on social media
hates your most recent ex even if there's no reason to
only ever dresses office appropriate if there's a massive event going on
other than that he's walking around in sweaters, doesn't care
often rambles about weird, off-the-tangent things
when he's supposed to be doing paperwork
but you know he'll get it done anyhow
(cause he brings it home)
so you let him
has gone on a drunken rant about how great you are
he's probably adored by most of the office
who are simultaneously wondering why exactly you hired this funky muscular little dude
has probably injured himself trying to exercise and work at the same time
also can be often seen hauling his ass somewhere at top speeds
where? no one knows
when on an overseas trip, locks himself into a hotel room
and also takes any freebies possible
probably has half the office in his home, paper towels, tea packets, you name it
when there's a big project coming up, rushes up to you all frazzled, informing you what's going on
you may ask him how many energy drinks has he consumed
and he'll give an ungodly number
absolutely the type to pour an energy drink into coffee when at his lowest point
you don't know how it happened, but by now it's a habit that he carries your clothes and bags
it's just his thing
and don't you dare to give your stuff to anyone else, he'll throw a hissy fit
protects you a lot hence why everyone thinks he's your bodyguard
it's because he admires you a lot
and despite it not appearing as such, he really learns a lot from you
eventually, you see that he learns to focus better, and manage his time better all without losing his own distinct personality
when you give speeches, he has literal stars in his eyes :(
so while he's not the world's greatest secretary, he's your greatest fan
you'll never even get to feel down because he'll be constantly reminding you of how you can do absolutely anything
© soraviii/soraviiie 2022-2023
#bts reactions#bts scenarios#bts x reader#bts x you#namjoon x reader#namjoon x you#yoongi x reader#yoongi x you#jin x reader#jin x you#hoseok x reader#hoseok x you#jimin x reader#jimin x you#taehyung x reader#taehyung x you#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#bts reaction#bts fluff#bts crack#bts headcanons
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alright since i've missed quite a few weekly holidays i'm compiling them all here. also, my need for internet happy points is a supermassive black hole, which is why i'm marketing this as a sequel.
ideas came from the comments section, reblogs, and a post from fellow tumblr user @pibachu so i have no idea how niche some of these are
MONDAY
El Muchacho Monday
Miku Monday
Dog Saint Monday
Mad Rat Monday
The Missile Knows Where It Is Monday
Garfield Hates Mondays
Me Gongaga Monday
Maneater Monday
Sad Ant With A Bindle Monday
TUESDAY
Tuesday Again? No Problem...
Sweet Fat Of The Hog Tuesday
The Day When It's Safe To Leave The Bog
Tom Servo Tuesday
End Of My Rope Tuesday
Oh Tuesday Light Me Up
Testosterone Tuesday
Turn Off Tumblr Live Tuesday
Ferb It's Chewsday Again Innit
Chikorita Chuesday
Tuck Him In Tuesday
WEDNESDAY
Wet Beast Wednesday
Sparkle On! It's Wednesday! Don't Forget To Be Yourself!
It Is Wednesday My Dudes
Wifecock Wednesday
El Woowoo Wednesday
Or As I Like To Call It: Thursday
Terry The Fat Shark Wednesday
White Boy Wednesday
THURSDAY
Out Of Touch Thursday
Feliz Jueves
(alternatively) Testosterone Thursday
Well, It's Thursday
Three Rat Thursday
FRIDAY
Flat Fuck Friday
Fat Fuck Friday
Femboy Friday
Radical Saturday (no this was not a mistype)
Alone On A Friday Night? God, You're Pathetic
Penis Friday
Thank Gnome It's Friday
Get Down On It Friday
SATURDAY
Caturday
Don't @ Me, I'm Chilling
Sea Slug Saturday
Miku Shorts Saturday
SUNDAY
Fingers In His Ass Sunday
Energy Sword Sunday
Suck Her Dick Sunday
#long post#tumblr calendar#jebus i think there's more of these than the first calendar#add more in the tags/comments please#tumblr holidays#tumblr
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Misconceptions About Type 1
Type 1 is likely one of the more uncommon types within the enneagram system. We often joke of the overtypings of 5s and 4s and proceed to forget that type 1 is also strongly overtyped. The fact is that few if any enneagram authors were of the type 1 personality type, therefore much of what is written about the type is lacking this first person experience associated with the type. This becomes very obvious in descriptions of 1 which almost entirely ignore 1s connection to the body triad and, at times, portray the type as if it were of the head triad. When learning the enneagram, it becomes especially important to understand this difficulty and begin to reconceptualize our understanding of type 1 in particular.
1) Type one is "insert head type description here": Many descriptions portray 1 almost as though it were a head type rather than a gut type, which leads to a lot of 6s and probably even 5s mistyping as such. While 1s can be cautious, worrisome, cerebral and even theoretical/thoughtful, the core of the gut center revolves around instinct and body orientation. Anger and frustration for the 1 is often felt intensely and in the body sense. One of the best self descriptions I’ve heard from a 1 about this experience was the comparison of the self to a tuning fork, with “wrong” being identified as a dissonance between the self and reality. While 1s sense of ideality as well as their sense of right/correct or wrong/incorrect can be intensely logical, have solid reasoning, and be thought through in great detail, the 1s sense of ideality does not stem from the mind, but from the body and that either intuitive or sensational sense of ideality and non-ideality. This type is most often incredibly decisive and trusting of it's sense of directionality unlike the head types who will bolster their sense of judgement through impulse, intense research, external affirmation, or other means because the core of type 1 is not a distrust of internal guidance. The type literally only has possibility for positive outlook wings as well as a strong line to 7, a positive outlook type. This manifests as this incredible sense of self trust in their own ideas and ability to assert judgement and provides a driving force for action and movement since, despite cynisism or pessimism, there is often assumption that ideality is something that can be reached for or even obtained. This is the strongest distinguishing factor between 1 and other types consistently mistyped as 1.
It should be clarified further that “body sense” does not imply that all 1s need to be “sensing” types in the mbti sense or are remotely connected to their body in the physical or traditional sense. Ideality can be abstracted in the intuitive sense, body sensations can be entirely filtered through an abstract lens in the sense that a 1 may not be able to describe it as it exists physically, etc. The distinction must be made that the gut triad in general comes with this arrogant “I just know” sort of mentality that distinguishes it from the heart and head triads.
2) Type one represses anger and is often inclined to come across as composed: It is not uncommon for 1s style of anger to be misinterpreted as repressed, especially considering how uncommon this type actually is. Textually, it can be difficult to find a word that is distinctly fitting for their style of anger. While 1 often prioritizes objective and clear thought, this types vice is still wrath. Perhaps this anger and rage may be internally justified as something that the 1 does not consider rage (ie. nitpicking, organizing, criticism, an explanation etc) or the 1 may even truly believe they are as cool headed and emotionally detached as many suspect themselves to be, however the 1's wrath is externally oriented and palpable. Wrath exclusively directed at the self, but not caught by others or a type that only manifests as being internally frustrated or critical of others alongside little to no external expression is a 9 thing. Repressing anger to maintain a clearheaded, objective stance is also more of a 9, 6, or even 3 trait rather than a trait that is primarily 1. 1 type anger is controlled, directional, and centered (rather than diffused and internally brewed as in the 9 or ranged, comfortably expressed, and impact focused as in the 8). This even applies to 1w9, who's sense of wrath may be oriented towards reducing discomfort or takes on the justification as being peace/balance seeking but is not as quiet or remotely hidden as some often expect it to be.
3) Type 1 is rigid and Rule Abiding: They are, but to their own sense of structure, not necessarily external structures. 1 has a strong vision of how the world should be and what is lacking. The archetype of the perfect student who enforces the rules or the person dedicated to a strong moral system or "the goody two shoes" is 90% of the time a 3 or 6 at their core because both of these stances are strongly tied to pre-established systems and appeal to the attachment orientation. 1 at it's core is frustration and dissatisfaction. 1 isn't necessarily breaking rules and can have moral stances that connect to culture and common standards, but there is a strong connection to the body and impulse sense of anger and frustration rather than the more traditional focus on established systems and rules. 1 is far more often the generator of rules and standards rather than the follower of them.
4) The Core Fear of 1 is Being a Bad Person: While this is not necessarily incorrect, the way this is framed does not provide the necessary context that, once again, this is not really expectation based and that “bad” is not necessarily relating to morality. You can have traditionally “evil” 1s who embrace the concept of being absolutely awful or, more commonly, are unaware of the effects of their behavior on others or hypocrisy because, once again, all of this self directed and critical behavior is a felt sense. 1 moves in the direction of it’s compass, that compass does not have to be remotely moral in the traditional sense.
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Little Accidents
Chapter: 1
Warnings: xfem!reader, reader is in her early 20s, Jack Morrison is bisexual for story purposes. Don't like that, don't read. I don't think I have to explain that it's fanfiction and shouldn't be taken seriously. If that triggers you, do not read this fic.
A/n: Unsure who I should ship reader with but we shall see.
Summary: You find out something that you shouldn't have found out, but here we are. That's what you get for eavesdropping.
Song:
(Y/n) had become a part of Blackwatch for a few months now, and the constant training was always different, but joining Overwatch had become her dream. When she joined as a soldier, she was surprised that she would soon be joining a black ops group who was hand-picked by Commander Reyes himself. To work under someone who's well respected and knows what he's doing was a big honor. Not only that, but for some reason, she had noticed Commander Morrison has been watching over their training exercises. He would actually even compliment her. It surprised her at first, but she knew he probably did that to those he saw with potential. She always saw him talking to Gabriel in the distance, arguing about something, but regardless, it always seemed to calm down.
Today, she was walking to Commander Reyes' office to return some needed files that needed to be filled out and given to Doctor Moira. But she stopped in her tracks as soon as she heard Reyes and Morrison arguing. She knew it was bad to eavesdrop but she did it anyway.
"Absolutely not." Reyes' gruff voice came.
"I'm not asking you. I'm demanding that she be removed from you're squad." Jack could be heard sounding angry and less composed than he usually did.
"Why would I do that?" Gabriel shifts in his seat as he crosses his arms.
"Why?" She leans in, her curious blue eyes looking inside. Seeing Jack turn as he rubs a gloved hand over his face as he takes a moment to answer. "You got my kid in there."
".. What?" Gabriel tilts his head, seeming confused.
"I had a fling when I was young and.." He explains and Gabriel just laughs.
"Is it Cassidy?" Reyes jokes to which Jack scoffs.
"No, it's obvious who." The two lock eyes and (Y/n) can't help but jump as she feels a hand touch her arm. Seeing Captain Amari there made her completely freak out.
"(Y/n)? What's wrong? You look like you seen a ghost." She looks down at her concerned, and (Y/n) can't help but tighten her grip on the stack of papers in her gloved hands.
"No, I'm honestly fine..!" She could hear the two Commanders approaching the doorway and she quickly, shoves the papers into her chest before running down the hall and into the elevator as she turns she could see Commander Jack looks down the hall, her way, as the doors shut with a ding of the elevator.
She felt her heart beating so fast and her head spinning as she felt her entire face in a cold sweat. As the elevator stops, she finds herself aimlessly walking around. She wasn't sure what time it was when she found herself within the Blackwatch members' corridor room. She found her fingers shaking as she kept mistyping her own room code with multiple beeps being heard. She exhales as she stops herself for a moment.
Something about the new girl was off today. She looked rather tense, or at least that is what Genji's eyes could tell. To him, she was just another member, another teammate. A freak but she looked much more normal than the rest of them. More normal than him. Though he usually avoided conversations so he never thought of talking to her or much of anyone. Unless absolutely necessary circumstances. He resented them all for being.. human. It reminded him of what he was not. Of what was taken away from him.
The days in Overwatch was always the same. Everyday, to him, went by quickly and was just as empty as usual. Genji had his own routine like anyone else: training, meetings, more training, then showers. Perhaps the best part of his day. He was always grateful to feel the warmth of the shower against his torn flesh. Unlike his added cybernetic side, it could feel. He walked down the halls to the Blackwatch private quarters, with his towel hanging over and around his neck. Only in his gym shorts as his augments were showing. Stopping as he watched her fumble with her door passcode. "Needing help or something?" He asked her softly as he was more curious today about her expression. He was surprising himself since he rarely talked to other people, but she looked like she could use a hand.
She almost bit her own tongue as the robotic voice had startled her. Her head turning and her eyes blinking away any sort of distress as her fingers fumbled with the key card.
"Uh.. I.. I think I got it." Again, the beeping was still denying her access to her own quarters. She lowers her head as she steps aside and gestures for him to have a try. "Have at it. I swear I forget sometimes." She looks at him as she smiles and rubs the back of her neck as she hands him her keycard. "Code is 8170."
She never knew the cyborg ninja guy even talked. Well, he could she just has never really talked to him before. Only during missions there was usually nothing but nods or hand gestures. He would sigh or scoff and with the plate over his mouth it sounds more robotic. She's heard stories from others around the base and how he was so skilled. Some people would even think he was hard to look at but no one would dare tell him to his face. Honestly, with Genji's red cybernetic eyes, he looked like he could kill someone easily and he probably could. She didn't know him much but she knew he was usually a quiet guy and he seemed to like his solitude. Sometimes, Cassidy would talk to him and she swore Genji would roll his eyes but endure McCree's rambling.
His hand moved to type in the code after memorizing it and her repeating it quietly. His breathing could be heard from behind his mask as he typed in the last few digit numbers. The door to her room sliding open with a small green light on the keypad. He steps back and hands her the keycard.
"The codes are picky, sometimes you have to type them in slow." He said as his eyes looked at her for a mere moment in silence as he stepped back. Turning to walk to his own room as he takes out his own keycard.
".. Training will be early tomorrow." He said as he got to his own door and typed in his own code.
"Yeah.." she said as she steps inside her room and watches Genji walk over to him before her eyes met his. "Thank you, I'll be seeing you.. tomorrow." She said and he gives her a nod before heading into his room before pressing a button to let the doors close and lock and she did the same.
She sighs as she hangs her head low before going to her desk and immediately went to look at an old photo of her and her mother. Her mother never had the chance to tell her much about her father but the fact she unintentionally found him wasn't a coincidence. She just hoped whatever led them towards each other wasn't for the worst.
#x reader#x f!reader#x female reader#overwatch#fanfic#oneshot#blizzard#love story#jack morrison#gabriel reyes#genji shimada#jesse mccree#moira o'deorain#overwatch blizzard#overwatch fanfiction#angela zeigler#soldier 76#Spotify
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Varney the Vampire: Chapter 14
Chapter 13: Interview with the vampyre
This is a short chapter and also a good one. If you were a fan of Henry Bannerworth Knowing That He Is In Dracula, this is the chapter for you.
I'm going to tag this "cannibalism" for real-life reasons, and also "unreality" because I want to talk about an aspect of fiction that might not be great for you if you don't feel like you're on solid ground. I mean, if people are using that tag for Goncharov, this is the high-octane stuff.
Chapter XIV.
HENRY'S AGREEMENT WITH SIR FRANCIS VARNEY. -- THE SUDDEN ARRIVAL AT THE HALL. -- FLORA'S ALARM.
To catch you up, the Bannerworth family's new neighbor has offered to buy Bannerworth Estate, since the family obviously will not want to live there now that a mysterious vampyre is harassing them by night. Upon arriving at the neighbor's house, Henry Bannerworth discovers that said neighbor: is the fucking vampyre. Like just chilling there, in a dim room, vampyring. Henry promptly starts having a very apparent breakdown, all while his kinda-uncle Marchdale is like, "Shhhhh, Henry, it's rude to tell people they're vampyres."
I. Still interviewing the vampyre
The unnamed servant brings the unnamed refreshments that Sir Francis has called for—unnamed but for "a glass of wine."
"You take nothing yourself?" said Henry.
"I am under a strict regimen," replied Varney. "The simplest diet alone does for me, and I have accustomed myself to long abstinence."
"He will not eat or drink," muttered Henry, abstractedly.
I grew up with the impression, and you may have too, that vampires specifically don't like wine, but why? I spent way too long googling this without getting a solid answer, as you will remember from our Public Domain Wine Dot Com digression. But I have finally learned that the "I never drink......... wine" thing was not in Stoker's Dracula, nor anything before it; much the way that Nosferatu (1922) introduced the concept of sunlight crisping vampires, it was the Balderston-Deane play adaptation (1924) that introduced the line, which was then adapted by Tod Browning for the screen (1931):
youtube
Both the line as written and Bela Lugosi's delivery put an outsized emphasis on it being wine. He could have been saying he didn't drink coffee after dinner. I'm spending an hour on google trying to figure out if it has anything to do with communion wine—nope. It ain't blood. That's all. As Henry points out, Varney doesn't eat or drink, period, and that's the underlying premise here. Because, you know. He's dead. That is the story that James Malcolm Rymer has going at this point in time, and he might or might not stick with it.
I'll wrap this segment up by noting that Henry is absolutely sure that the painting and the person are the same, because they both bear "the mark or cieatrix [a transcriber mistyped cicatrix?] of a wound in the forehead, which the painter had slightly indented in the portrait, but which was much more plainly visible on the forehead of Sir Francis Varney." A cicatrix—[sic]atrix?—is just a scar. The dude has a telltale scar.
II. Will u sell the house tho
Varney still has real estate on his mind (one wonders if this gave Stoker any ideas):
"I cannot yet," answered Henry, "I will think. My present impression is, to let you have it on whatever terms you may yourself propose, always provided you consent to one of mine."
"Name it."
"That you never show yourself in my family."
"How very unkind. I understand you have a charming sister, young, beautiful, and accomplished. Shall I confess, now, that I had hopes of making myself agreeable to her?"
OH
NOOOOOOOOO
This is already bad for both Flora and her devoted Charles Holland, obviously, but you have to remember that Varney was inspired by the template of Polidori's Lord Ruthven, who was, pop-culturally, the Dracula of his time. And (SPOILER), the way the story ends is that Our Hero Aubrey is unable to prevent Lord Ruthven, who he has discovered to be a vampyre, from marrying, murdering, and vampyring his sister:
When on the staircase, Lord Ruthven whispered in his ear—"Remember your oath, and know, if not my bride to day, your sister is dishonoured. Women are frail!"
That is to say, in the context of 1819 rather than the consumptive Victorian "angel of the house" trope, morally "frail": the unnamed sister was willing to have premarital sex with Ruthven. Meanwhile, Aubrey has a literal rage stroke and is unable to tell anyone what Ruthven is, until after the marriage has been solemnized. These are the actual final lines of the story:
Aubrey's weakness increased; the effusion of blood produced symptoms of the near approach of death. He desired his sister's guardians might be called, and when the midnight hour had struck, he related composedly what the reader has perused—he died immediately after.
The guardians hastened to protect Miss Aubrey; but when they arrived, it was too late. Lord Ruthven had disappeared, and Aubrey's sister had glutted the thirst of a VAMPYRE!
Welp. We're gonna need to call in some wellness checks on Henry, I think. But notice that we are in the 1840s—the Victorian era—now, and Flora has thoroughly been coded as both pure (to possibly a racist degree) and physically frail (except for when she's blasting vampyres). We are assured over and over that Flora is the very soul of goodness, and entirely worthy of that paragon of manhood, Charles Holland. I think the two of them might be in for some trouble, but it won't be "moral" temptation. Probably.
"You make yourself agreeable to her? The sight of you would blast her for ever, and drive her to madness."
"Am I so hideous?"
"No, but -- you are -- "
"Hush, Henry, hush," cried Marchdale. "Remember you are in this gentleman's house."
Marchdale manages to drag Henry away before he can insult the vampyre who wants to continue stalking Henry's sister any further, because that would just be uncouth.
"Adieu," said Sir Francis Varney, and he made one of the most elegant bows in the world, while there came over his face a peculiarity of expression that was strange, if not painful, to contemplate.
Peculiar in what way? I have filed this away for later.
III. Coping: not even once
"Marchdale, it would be charity of some one to kill me."
"This man, Varney, is a vampyre."
"Hush! hush!"
"I tell you, Marchdale," cried Henry, in a wild, excited manner, "he is a vampyre. He is the dreadful being who visited Flora at the still hour of midnight, and drained the life-blood from her veins. He is a vampyre. There are such things. I cannot doubt now. Oh, God, I wish now that your lightnings would blast me, as here I stand, for ever into annihilation, for I am going mad to be compelled to feel that such horrors can really have existence."
Honestly, I think half the problem is Marchdale telling him to shut up and not rock the boat. Everyone would feel a lot better if they could just gear up, ride out, and—
"Nay, talk not to me. What can I do? Shall I kill him? Is it not a sacred duty to destroy such a thing? Oh, horror -- horror. He must be killed -- destroyed -- burnt, and the very dust to which he is consumed must be scattered to the winds of Heaven. It would be a deed well done, Marchdale."
—yeah, that.
But how do you just go do that? This isn't Count Dracula, who lives in a spooky abbey and then flees home to his spooky castle and gets dealt with there. This is a dude who's going around the neighborhood being friendly and asking to buy estates. He's got servants, he's throwing around money on properties, he's trying to court your sister. How do you just go in and murderate him? What if, somehow, he's not a vampyre, and you were Extremely Mistaken the whole time, and now you're on trial for homicide?
Two examples from my taste in television come to mind:
One is the Hammersmith Ghost episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime, in which a man decided to go hunt down and shoot a Boo Ghost™ harassing a district of London in 1804. It ended with one Francis Smith on trial for the murder of a bricklayer who happened to be wearing an unfortunate amount of white. I am sure Smith absolutely believed he was shooting a real ghost, right up until it became tragically apparent that the ghost hadn't already been dead.
The other one is the FASCINATING "Hunting Vampires" episode of Expedition Unknown, in which Josh Gates visits rural Romania to get scared by a cat and talk to a man who actually... well. Let me quote the fan wiki (content note: technically necrocannibalism?):
The next day, Josh meets Petra Rotar, a local journalist, and they drive to Craiova where they meet Daniela Barbu, a prosecutor. She had to charge six men who desecrated and exhumed the grave of Petre Toma. After Petre died villagers began to get sick and have nightmares with Petre in them. Six men went to the cemetery and pulled out Petre's heart, grilled it and prepared a potion from the ashes and everybody who was sick drank it. The villagers' jail term was suspended […] .
Petra and Josh go to Marotinu de Sus and to the cemetery where they find Petre Toma's grave. Two angry villagers come but they are able to calm down and one of the men, Florin, is related to a man who dug up the body. Florin and Josh row across a lake to meet Florin's cousin Mitrica Mircea, where Mitrica [one of the six men] recounts the story for them and believes what he did was the right thing.
Like. This happened:
'No one is bothered who did it, it's their own business,' declared 80-year-old Tudor Stoica, shading his face with a fraying hat. 'This ritual often takes place, but in secret, within the family. The problem comes when the police get involved.'
This happened! And they're all sure they're doing the right thing! And I'm tagging this post "unreality," so if you have issues with certain kinds of ideations, I'm gonna say skip down to the next pull quote, but I'm trying to describe a certain quality in fiction:
Of course I want to say that Mitrica Mircea wasn't doing the right thing, this is real life, there are no vampires to go around staking. But it's a funny thing, how people in genre fiction have to realize they're in genre fiction and things are real, and people in real life have to remember they're in real life and things aren't real, but also, the nature of consciousness is such that a fictional character might express the belief that they live in the real world, and a real person might find themselves in a traumatic moment thinking, This feels just like a movie. Do you ever find yourself in real life saying, "This feels like that moment in movies where the characters don't believe in monsters, and that's why they get eaten?" Can you, then, understand a character in fiction going through the same thing? I can't believe this is really happening, but it is.
Except that they are wrong, because it is fiction.
But they can't know that.
I feel fairly confident of my reality, and I'm confident none of my neighbors need to be staked. But I'll stop there in case anyone else isn't.
"Yes; but reflect, Henry, for a moment upon the length to which you might [have to] carry out so dangerous an argument. It is said that vampyres are made by vampyres sucking the blood of those who, but for that circumstance, would have died and gone to decay in the tomb along with ordinary mortals; but that being so attacked during life by a vampyre, they themselves, after death, become such."
"Well -- well, what is that to me?"
"Have you forgotten Flora?"
A cry of despair came from poor Henry's lips, and in a moment he seemed completely, mentally and physically, prostrated.
"God of Heaven!" he moaned, "I had forgotten her!"
H E N R Y.
IV. Marchdale what is your deal
Kinda-Sorta Uncle Marchdale pleads with Henry to not curl up and die because Flora needs him! Possibly to stake her someday! No, Marchdale, Flora has Charles Holland now! HUMPH, says Marchdale to that. As you will recall, Marchdale and Charles Holland loathed each other on sight for literally, in the literal sense of literally, no reason, and Marchdale stands by that:
"I, therefore, now prophecy to you that Charles Holland will yet be so stung with horror at the circumstance of a vampyre visiting Flora, that he will never make her his wife."
Bro, why are you like this. On one hand, Henry insists that Charles Holland is the soul of honor:
"You are, you may depend, entirely wrong. I cannot be deceived in Charles. From you such words produce no effect but one of regret that you should so much err in your estimate of any one. From any one but yourself they would have produced in me a feeling of anger I might have found it difficult to smother."
On the other hand, one might perhaps become concerned that the text keeps raising the issue of whether Charles Holland is trustworthy or not.
V. Anyway, when do we kill him
Henry and Marchdale agree that they won't tell the family that their new neighbor is the vampyre stalking Flora, because that always works out just fine. Marchdale declares, in fact, that there is no way that "this Sir Francis Varney, or whatever his real name may be, will obtrude himself upon you." Obviously, Varney will be intruding on them anon. Should he try such a thing, Henry announces that he will kill Varney really most sincerely dead:
"It would be fatal, so help me, Heaven; and then would I take especial care that no power of resuscitation should ever enable that man again to walk the earth."
[Marchdale, very helpfully:] "They say the only way of destroying a vampyre is to fix him to the earth with a stake, so that he cannot move, and then, of course, decomposition will take its course, as in ordinary cases."
"Fire would consume him, and be a quicker process," said Henry.
Well, I hope to fuck that they know where the matches are.
Varney the Vampire masterpost
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Ah sorry I mistyped! I meant how do you know for sure it’s not possible for a system to NOT come from trauma? (So how you know endos, etc. can’t exist)
I thought so! Thank you for resending, it gives me a chance to talk a bit about how my views have evolved. I hope everyone will stick through to the end.
This got a lot longer and a bit more rambly than I thought? Sorry, guys.
So, short answer, I don't know that for sure.
No one can know because we're talking about a subjective, personal experience. When I first started syscoursing, I came in, guns blazing, believing endos just didn't exist. That it simply wasn't possible.
It was actually my therapist, a specialist, who opened my mind a bit.
I went to school for social services to become a therapist, but after I graduated and worked a bit in the field, I realized I was terrible at it. Not only was I still in a very bad situation, making me unable to effectively help people, but I just had zero patience for people working through trauma. I had to learn to handle my trauma reactions real fast and effectively, whether that was in a healthy way or not, and people moved way slower than I felt safe handling. That's neither here nor there, but explains the conversation I had with my therapist.
She told me, no, DID is a childhood, trauma-based disorder. That's not even up for debate, and research is only further proving that. Anyone who says otherwise is an idiot.
But she also spoke to me as a colleague, not a client (I've been out of her care for years, though we've kept in touch since I expressed an interest in returning to the field). She reminded me of all the ethics and compassion training I went through. She reminded me of how we're supposed to approach things we don't understand. She told me what she would do if she ever ended up with an endo as a client.
She would listen, be receptive, learn. People can be misguided and misinformed, but they can't be wrong about the way they're experiencing something. In other words, if a person is sad over something you find strange, they're not wrong about being sad. In the context of systems, if someone says they're experiencing their life through multiple lenses or as if they're a working group of parts or people, they're not wrong about that. It's their truth, and we can't prove or disapprove, only try to understand, and, as is the ultimate goal of therapy, do our best to help with what they've come to us for. For example, I didn't go to her for help with my system, I went to her for help with my anxiety and OCD.
I know she's right, but... This is why I didn't stay in the field. Clearly I'm still having trouble holding my tongue and being nice, though I'm doing my best and trying to be better.
But in my few years in syscourse, I've come across a couple commonalities, and come to one big, main conclusion.
Systems:
1) the philosophical concept of the self and endos - questions of the self, the interaction of self-parts and perception, personal experiences and self expression, and self training (There's no way to disprove perception, and I'm totally on board and learning to be supportive, but this usually further delves into supernatural concepts, at which point I check out-- you can ask me to believe your self expression but you can't expect me to believe things about alternate dimensions and ghosts, at that point you're pushing your luck and putting me in danger, because supernatural concepts and mental health disorders don't mix. imo, telling me there's a chance my alters are from another dimension when some of us already have a weak grasp on reality is shitty)
2) misattributed symptoms - symptoms of psychosis, autism, various personality disorders-- literally ANYTHING being mistaken for "systemhood" (I genuinely worry about these people because encouraging someone to further dissociate parts of themselves can be dangerous if they're actually experiencing something different, but I feel like it's impossible to talk about the comparison of experiences without someone calling for your death, because you're not allowed to question self expression at all, ever, especially in endogenic communities)
3) endos actually just experiencing DID - there's no denying that many endogenic systems eventually realize that they're "traumagenic" (I hate that term), or that many have a skewed opinion of what DID and being disordered "looks like" (people saying they're not "disordered" enough to have DID, despite the DSM saying you can be very highly functional and still have the disorder-- this is just ableism), or the whole mixed origin thing, as if those aren't normal experiences in DID, too
My conclusion and my current goals:
Endos are clearly experiencing something and I'm not here to argue with them anymore about whether it's possible. In fact, I would go so far as to say it is. No one will ever be able to definitely prove that endogenic systems do or don't exist, but what has so far been seen, and is being worked on now, is whether there's any similarities between those experiences and DID.
I firmly contend that they're very different, and I'm more confident that the research will show that truth than I am in remembering my age.
I have said, over and over again on this blog, and I'm betting people are tried of reading it.
Childhood trauma affects the brain so much that the very structure is changed. It's these "injuries" that allow us to dissociate in such a profound way that we can have alters. These injuries go above and beyond that, though. It affects the way we perceive, retain, and relate to memories, the way we handle and express emotions, the way we experience new things. It literally affects every aspect of my life, daily. This is something that endogenics will never understand or relate to.
That's not a negative thing, it's the same as saying that I'll never understand what it's like to have schizophrenia or delusions or NPD or autism. I also wouldn't go into those spaces, or expect to be allowed into them, or be upset that I'm experiencing something potentially tangentially related (for example, DID typically shows symptoms of multiple PDs, but it isn't ACTUALLY a PD), and that there isn't a mixed space.
There's also a profound difference between PTSD and CPTSD. I believe endogenics can experience later trauma, and become disordered. But they don't have DID. They are not disordered with DID.
It's just PTSD, and because treatment is different, they'd benefit more from PTSD than CPTSD spaces-- which is really what DID spaces are, at the base of it.
For the most part, endos really are just "vibing," and that's okay. I've joined a server with endos, and I consider them my friends now. Their patience as I navigate through different thoughts and ideas has made all the difference, and it's helpful to have their input on things I come across that I don't understand.
My goal now, then, is to correct misinformation on DID and OSDD, and to simply spread awareness about how the disorders can present, what's possible and what's not (for example, can those with DID create alters? Technically, yes, and it doesn't make you a mixed origin endo). That it doesn't have to be doom and gloom, and we're not helpless.
As I feel that there isn't much overlap in experiences with those communities, I have little interest in interacting with endogenic systems outside of conversations about DID, and I've specifically made a point to stop challenging self expression.
I would honestly really prefer a stronger division of language to help people differentiate between experiences better, but I don't feel like that's ever going to happen. We can see the damage caused by the mixing of IFS and DID language, and I see it happening again. Talking about that is like talking to a brick wall, though, and I feel like this is just going to continue to repeat, over and over again.
I think it'll be up to those with DID to give up their language and create new words, which is... very sad in my opinion.
And the only thing I feel like doing these days is trying to combat misinformation about DID.
There's just so much of it, though, and I'm so tired.
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image fixes
I was pondering why so many people mistype with the Enneagram and/or struggle to find their core type, and it dawned on me that their image fix might be muddying the waters. It's related to shame and how you are perceived, which means the image center is subtly influencing how everyone presents themselves, ALL THE TIME. It can even deceive you and cause you to identify with something you are not, because it's less shameful than admitting to the "bad side" of certain types.
For example, a 3 fix won't want to identify as a core 6, because of competency fixations. (3: I am competent/cool, being a "repressed thinking" 6 sounds bad and will make people look down on me.) A 4 fixer won't want to be identified with 9 or 6 right off the bat; it doesn't fit their self image and is too pedestrian (6/9 are the most common types -- eww!). A 2 might not want to be seen as a 2, since "give to get" is incredibly off-putting to them. (I know one 2 who typed herself 6 for a long time, because "they're the 2 without an agenda.")
I started thinking about this after noticing how many sp/so's in typing videos open a can of pop/beer or pour a glass of wine, and drink from it while answering the questions. My reaction was "I would never do that, it feels cringe to me." Then it dawned on me that I wouldn't do it, to image-curate (this is not me; I want to be seen in another way -- hello 3w4 fix, finding stuff to sneer at!), but another type would do it, also to image-curate. For me, it's "nooo, too casual/every-man!," for them, it's telling people something about me -- I drink beer, I am chill, these questions aren't bothering me, I'm an every-man (or look at this expensive/special bottled water / wine I drink, unlike other people). I would think "I want this video to look like Y, so I won't do Z," and they would think "I want this video to look like X so I will do Q."
Thing is, no matter where our image fix is, we're doing this stuff all the time without even noticing it -- image-curating. Trimming the truth a little so you look better. Or ignoring this part of the story and playing up that part so people notice THIS about you and not THAT. Loudly drawing attention over here instead of there. Pointing out how you are different, sharing the nice thing you did, humble-bragging, etc. Sitting a certain way in a video. Slouching in your chair. Picking your best side to show to the camera. Or doing the opposite and thinking "I'm gonna wear a ratty t-shirt to show I don't care / don't ascribe to traditional concepts of fashion/beauty." The higher the image focus, the more this is instinctual, but we're all still somewhat aware of it.
To land on an image fix, you have to think about what you're curating and sharing with others for specific reasons and why. #Everyone is broadcasting their image fix all the time, even if they aren't core image types; everyone 'edits' what they want other people to know about them. 3s project competency, success, and what they got done; 2s make sure others know how sweet and generous and affectionate they are; 4s remind others of their brokenness, separation, and how they can't be fixed. What are you sharing and how is it helping or hindering you in admitting to your core type?
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