Drunk Antics

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: you find your teammate drunk at a bar and help him out

Warnings: drinking

Word count: 1.7k

You were sitting on your bed, mindlessly scrolling through social media when a notification caught your eye. Your teammate's name, Lando Norris, was lighting up the screen so naturally you clicked on it, wondering what could have occurred in the few hours you’d last seen him.

You both went out for some drinks, along with some of the Mclaren engineers, but you’d left early and assumed your co-workers had the ability to get home safely themselves. Apparently you’d assumed wrong.

Your eyes widened as videos and pictures of Lando Norris filled your screen, all from the bar you’d left tonight. They consisted of a very drunk Lando dancing and cheering, taking shot after shot and drinking with strangers.

You nearly swore to yourself, sitting upright and looking at the media with more interest. His PR managers were probably going crazy, obviously unable to get into contact with him in this state but worrying actually going there was too inappropriate.

You winced at the outpour of damaging videos and photos. You knew your teammate would regret this in the morning, and you felt bad simply letting this happen. But could you go back to the bar and stop him? You’d only known Lando a few months, what with being a rookie, and though you were friendly with one another you didn’t have an extremely close relationship. Would picking him up from a bar cross an invisible line between you two? Would it be inappropriate?

You couldn’t very well leave him to his foolery though, because even now Lando would be facing a very long and arduous meeting with his PR managers as a best case scenario. If you let this go on, you’d hate to imagine what the worst case scenario could become.

With a sigh you got up, throwing on your jumper and grabbing your keys. Even if you were risking your relationship with Lando, you figured it would be better than letting his career possibly get destroyed. Who knew what he’d do when he was wasted?

You spent the short drive to the bar planning what you were going to say, because even though you’d decided the best course of action was to do this didn’t mean you weren’t nervous about it. When you arrived you parked your car and took a deep breath, feeling jittery, before leaving it and entering the bar.

Immediately there were cheers and loud exclamations, people pointing to you and laughing excitedly. No doubt many of them thought you were there to join the fun, to get as wasted as Lando and give everyone a show. Unfortunately for them you were here to do the responsible thing, and your eyes scanned the club for the other Mclaren driver.

You found him on a table, dancing and twisting, drink in hand and spilling it all over the floor and himself. His shirt was skewed to the side, as if he’d tried to take it off but gave up halfway, showing a great deal of neck and stomach.

Lando Norris had always had a wild streak, but partnered up with alcohol was a whole different story. Even knowing of his sometimes crazed behaviour, you hadn’t expected this. Suddenly your job seemed a whole lot harder than you originally thought.

Taking another deep breath you pushed through the crowd, murmuring excuses and apologies as you made your way to the front of the mob surrounding Lando, or more specifically the table he was on. More people gasped and pointed, their not so subtle whispers travelling around the room.

You ignored all of it, looking up at Lando with a determined expression. “Lando.”

At first he didn’t hear you and continued dancing, much to your embarrassment as the people around you laughed. You frowned and raised your voice, repeating your teammates name.

This time he did hear you, his head whipping around to find you before eventually his gaze found yours. A wide grin split over his face and he stopped his dancing, all attention zeroed on you. You tried not to squirm knowing most of the bars’ attention was on you too.

“Y/n,” he greeted breathlessly.

His drink splashed even more as he clambered down from the table, falling slightly. You gasped and moved forwards, hands on his chest to steady him. Lando’s grin widened. “What are you doing here?”

You couldn’t help but smile back, what with Lando seeming as happy as a puppy to see you. “I’m here to take you home.”

A confused frown made its way onto Lando’s face. “Home? But why?”

You almost laughed at his naivety. Lando was quite cute when he was drunk. “Because you’re kind of wasted, and it would be the smart move to go home.”

Lando’s frown deepened, lines wrinkling his forehead. “But there’s so much more to drink!”

You almost snorted. “Yep. We are definitely going home.”

Lando’s eyes brightened. “We?”

“Well I don’t expect you can get there yourself right now, can you?” you asked teasingly.

Lando smiled ruefully, aware of his intoxication even in his current state. “I guess I can go if you’re taking me.”

You rolled your eyes but something inside you fluttered, spreading warmth across your entire body. You let Lando stumble into you, putting his arm over your shoulder to balance him as you wrapped your arm around his waist. Feeling him flush against your side increased the flutters- you had never been this close to Lando since knowing him- but you ignored it and started walking back to your car with him.

There were a few heckles and disappointed shouts, people wanting you to continue the show not stop it but you ignored it, walking forwards, and Lando obediently followed suit.

You made it out of the club, ignoring the people’s jeers on your way out, and walked to your car. Lando turned and looked at you expectantly.

You raised your eyebrows. “What?”

“Can I have the keys?”

You laughed out loud this time. “No way you are driving.”

Lando pouted- actually pouted- and crossed his arms like a five year old. “Then I’m not getting in the car.”

You rolled your eyes at his antics but were surprisingly not annoyed by it or him. Something about him just made it all amusing, endearing even.

“If you get in the car I’ll take you to my place.”

Lando was already getting in the car before you could blink. You grinned and got into the driver’s seat, that warm fuzzy feeling returning. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do with it so you just let it sit there, slowly enveloping you until you couldn’t help but glance at the man sitting next to you every few minutes, eyes tracing his face.

“I’m blind not drunk you know,” Lando said with a shit eating grin.

You started, glancing at him again before back at the road. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen your sneaky glances,” he teased. “You’re soooooo obsessed with me.”

You flushed, letting out an awkward laugh, keeping your eyes trained on the road. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Lando.”

Lando continued on like you hadn’t spoken. “But it’s okay because I'm obsessed with you too. Like, it’s not even funny how much I think about you. You’re a menace, you know that? I mean crawling into my head like that and staying there? Not very polite of you.”

You didn’t even know what to say in response to Lando’s rambling. You were smiling, your cheeks almost hurting from how hard you were but you couldn't stop. Lando just accidentally confessed his feelings for you and, well, it turned out to be a good night.

Lando seemed content to keep talking, though he did stray from the topic of his feelings for you to… whatever was going on in his brain. You were listening to him but even so it was hard to keep track of how fast he hopped from one topic to another, his mind a constant stream of thoughts and whims.

When you got to your house Lando was eager to enter it, waiting by the door leaning on his heels as he watched you walk up the driveway. You smiled at him when you got to the door, unlocking it and letting the two of you enter.

Lando looked around curiously, only stumbling a little bit as he explored your house. You followed him, trailing behind him silently as you watched his expressions, noticing how excited he seemed to be in your house, your space, looking at a side of you he’d never seen before.

“You need to go to bed,” you said, bringing him out of his musings.

Lando looked at you and cocked his head. “Where?”

You paused. “The couch?”

Lando made a face and shook his head. You sighed. “Alright then… the bedroom. I only have one bed.”

Even drunk Lando managed to be concerned. “Would you be okay with that?”

You smiled softly at him, the warm feeling in your chest settling down, getting comfortable. You knew then that it would stay there for a long time. “Yeah, I’m okay with that.”

You led Lando to your room and helped him get undressed, taking his shirt, shoes, and trousers off, though he kept his boxers on. You got changed yourself- in your bathroom- and exited to find Lando sagging against a wall, looking tired.

“You want to go to bed now?” you asked him.

Lando bit his lip. “Are you sure?”

He seemed to be sobering up, slowly but surely, and you smiled at the repeated consent. “I’m sure.”

So you both got into bed, unexplored ground between you too, and immediately Lando’s arms wrapped around your waist. Definitely still drunk.

Still, you couldn’t help but relax into his hold, your back against his chest, his head in the crook of your neck. And you couldn’t wait for the morning, when he’d sober and you could talk about his confession, maybe even make one of your own.

Until then however, you were content to lie in Lando’s arm and let him nuzzle into your neck, falling asleep to the smell of your teammate’s cologne wrapped around you.

Down Bad

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

summary: a heartbreak like no other

a/n: it’s super short, sorry

masterlist ttpd masterlist

________

You should've known better. Really. You aren't the kind of girl that a hot, 29-year-old, Spanish Formula One driver would like. Of course, you are beautiful, but apparently not enough for him. His attention was fleeting, leaving you just another one of his conquests in a long string of girls like you.

You met Carlos while interning in Madrid during the Winter. At the time you didn't realize he was love-bombing you, only to drop you cold once your internship ended a month later and you went home, practically shipped away by him. For a moment you knew, or thought you knew, extraordinary love, but it wasn't real. Was anything real anymore?

“Sweetheart, you need to stop moping,” your mom says from the doorway of your bedroom. “You know I love you, but if I didn’t know you better, I’d think you are a moody teenager,” you know your mom means well, but the last bit struck hard.

“Fine, I’m going for a run,” you groan, rolling out of bed. She leaves your room, seemingly appeased. It doesn’t take you long to get dressed, lace up your trainers, and play your angsty playlist through your headphones.

You take the path you know by heart, the one you take when you need to be away from people. When you are sufficiently alone, you let it all out.

Crying and running may not be the wisest idea, but it’s cathartic to you. You stop when you get to the meadow and lay down, staring at the cloudy sky. As the music plays, you yell the lines that hit too close to home. I might just die, it would make no difference. Fuck you if I can’t have us.

Fuck. You need to get over him. Everything just feels so hollow now, like you were stripped of everything you are and ever were. You just want to talk to your friends about it, but you know them. They will call you nuts, saying that it never really happened, that Carlos Sainz would never date you.

So instead, you lay in this field, thinking about when you were heaven struck. You might just not get up, stay down while you are down bad for someone who doesn’t even care about your existence anymore.

Maybe you were abducted by an alien to another, then returned back to this spot. That could explain it. Explain why you are feeling the angst of a scorned teenage girl, when you have more emotional maturity than that. You are 22 after all.

It’s how you imagine it feels like to lose the touch of a twin flame. I guess being love bombed then abandoned would do that to you.

The more you think about it, the more the alien analogy seems to fit. It’s like he beamed down from a ship, did a hostile takeover on your heart, the alien encounters closer and closed as each day passed. And you let them happen, willingly.

It started with a hello, then coffee, then a stroll, then a lunch, then a drive, then a dinner, then a night spent together, two, three, four, it spiraled. He did everything he could to worm his way into your heart, only for him to say it’s over.

Maybe you will take the ship, go to some planet and find an alien who can understand all of it. How dare he do everything he could to make you fall in love, only to leave you stranded. How is that romantic? You were in love, and fuck him if you can’t have him because of his actions.

You stare at the sky, music pumping through your headphones, willing the sky to part and reveal the alien spaceship that will beam you up to it in a cloud of dust and take you away.

Minutes pass until you realize your efforts are worthless, you mentally wave goodbye to the ship that carries him (and his pet names and his perfect dates) with it. Shedding a few tears on your run home, you start rebuilding yourself with each step. The hurt and pain slowly being chipped away.

No man with EVER make you feel this down bad again.

Soooo, I hope that this is alright to request. I can't really pick between a ship for this b/c I love them and how you write them so much. So, if you don't mind, could you write about the reactions of Feysand, Rowaelin, and Nessian + Azriel (...Nesriel?? IDK) to reader getting poisoned by an enemy (reader lives, but is left feeling very, very weak and ill)?? If you just want to do one or two that's fine... I was just curious to see how some of them might react :).

Cured By You headcanons

Feysand x reader, Rowaelin x reader, & Nezriel x reader

A/n: I would not be able to pick between them in general and I love these ships and so happy you do too anon

Warnings: poison, over bearing mates

Feysand

It happened while visiting the court of nightmares

You felt like an idiot, you always check your drinks or have Azriel’s shadows check

When you wake up 2 days later you were more embarrassed than anything. Especially passing out in the middle of the Court of Nightmares, like what a rookie move

Cassian and Azriel jump into action as Rhys scoops you to his chest. Feyre unleashes her claws, practically growling in Kier's direction. Rhys grabs her and winnows the three of you home to an awaiting Madja

thankfully you healed quickly. whoever poisned you clearly didn't get their dosage right

you still feel weak and get tired easily during the day for a few weeks

the first thing you see is Rhys and Feyre casually chatting. you watch them for a bit before reaching for Feyre's hand that's casually draped on the bed

they jump at your movement and are overjoyed that you're finally awake

if you thought they were doting and overly fussy about you when you have the sniffles, think again. these two are unbearable!

Rhys carries you everywhere. it was a struggle to convince them to let you out of bed so this was the compromise

the poison had weakend you to the point where lifting your arms was a chore. Feyre had decided to feed you even though most of the time you gave her an I'm-going-to-kill-you look

you considered yourself lucky though. to have mates that take care of you is a blessing

Rowaelin

Furious doesn’t even begin to describe how Rowan and Aelin felt

everything was fine, dinner was going great. this new alliance with a kingdom bordering Wendlyn seemed promising

until you polished off your wine. you turned pale and Rowan immediately scented that something was wrong with you

you passed out, collapsing from your chair. the dining room fell into chaos as soon as Fenrys sniffed your glass and announced you'd been poisoned

the guests were ushered out and taken to another room to be interrogated while Rowan rushes you to your shared bedroom, Yrene following and ready to draw the poison from your system

you woke up two days later with Fleetfoot watching over you, her golden head laying on your stomach. her big brown eyes staring at you. petting Fleetfoot behind the ears she shakes your hand off after having her fill. leaping off the bed the large golden beast sits by the door and begins to howl as loud as she possibly can

the queen and king coming running, almsot breaking down the door

Fleetfoot wags her tail at the sight of Aelin, running back over to sit next to the bed as your mates approach

the pair throw themselves down next to you, squishing you between them carefully. "We were so worried, oh gods." Aelin breathes out as Rowan repeatedly kisses your face

(like Feysand) the two of them don't let you lift a finger. Rowan never gets to do this for Aelin so he babies you to the max

from helping you walk and work out the muscels in your body to feeding and bathing you he does everything for you

Aelin spoild you with attention and treats. you two spend all her free time snuggled up in bed eating junk food

Nesriel

they each have a very different (yet extreme and justified) reaction

Azriel starts threatening people with Nesta, who lets her power rumble through the room, flames cupped in her hands

Cassian is getting you the hell out of there and to Madja

Cass doesn't let go of you for a single second while the healers pulls the poison from your body. he presses kisses to your temple and whispers sweet nothings as you writhe in pain from the poison being extracted

while you sleep for a week they hover over you, watching over you like hawkes

Azriel sleeps sitting up in a chair next to the bed while Nesta sleeps next to you, playing with your hair so you feel soothed in your unconcious state

when you wake up you're startled to find Cassian curled up at the end of the bed like a dog, Azriel in a chair, and Nesta next to you

Az's shadows go haywire next to his ears, alerting him to your conciousness. the shadows rush to alert Cass and Nes who perk up immediately

Nesta sits up, holding your face in her hands, "oh thank gods, you're ok." she coos on the verge of tears

even though you're weak you force your arm to move so you can hold her wrist. "I'm ok," you whisper

you all thought Cassian would be the more doting/crazy one but it turns out to be Nesta

she freaks out every time Az or Cass move you, worried about your comfort levels or if you're in pain. she yells at them if you even wince, "Careful! you're hurting her!" they always give her the same exasperated look as you giggle

when they find out who poisoned you Cassian tells you and stays with you. meanwhile Az lets Nesta tag along to the interrogation

he even let Nesta participate and she did not hold back. making this guy feel the worst pain he has ever endured

Hey friend, I want to ask you some things about Constantine, I'm planning on making a FanFic about his way from Kid to Prince (Before he re encounters with Charlie).

1. How was his training? Was he trained by Lucifer? Or by Satan?, or by every single Deadly Sin?

2. Why did he lose his Humanity so much? Are there any specific or lots of events that relate to that?

3. When and which enemies he destroyed? If you don’t have it specified don’t worry, this is because after all nobody who fought him lived to tell it.

4. (This one is optional), Would you like to have something important on it? Something you would enjoy? Be honest, after all Constantine is your character.

First of all, I am very glad to hear that you want to write a fafic about him! And of course I will be happy to answer your questions!

1.

In terms of knowledge, he was usually educated by the leading sages of Hell (he had a different teacher for each subject, so he had a well-rounded education) and Lucifer taught him what he knew as much as he could (how to use his powers, how to be a king), while Lilith taught him how to behave in politics, ) Satan was the one who taught Constantine's perception of power in general, Constantine was a person who thought that power came only from knowledge, Satan taught him that power was only power, showed him that he could not survive with only knowledge and taught him that fear was stronger than love and respect. He also learnt from Leviathan about education and science. He was not very close to the other sins in terms of education. When Constantine went to visit his aunt, it was one of the rare times when he was a child and not a prince, Bee tried to make Constantine happy, not to educate him.

2.

In general, the way he was raised and the training he received did this to him. Lilith and Lucifer had no evil intentions, they wanted their sons to be safe and strong, but they realised a little late that they were destroying the humanity in Constantine with their actions, and when they realised, they were at a point where they could no longer go back, but on the bright side, they did not follow the same thing with Charlie. Plus Constantine was already born with a superior intelligence, which made him less empathetic as he grew up, which came with the responsibilities of being a prince, so he had to grow up early because he had too much on him as a child. And even a normal prince would have to harden himself and control his emotions and act rationalistically in order to rule. Constantine was the prince of hell, surrounded by monsters and nobles waiting to see a weakness in him, and if he wanted to defeat the monsters, he had to become one of them. And Constantine did this, he hardened herself until his weakness or emotions were minimised. The only person that constantine behaves with his sincere personality is his sister Charlie, I can even say that the face that constantine shows to Charlie is so different that Charlie almost does not recognise her brother at the royal meetings. (In the very later parts of the series, they start to develop a relationship with Serenity like Sherlock and Watson. but this is a very slow developing friendship)

and btw I was inspired to write Constantine by these two books maybe it helps to understand him!

3.Sometimes some demons decide to cross the line and Constantine can execute them. There is no one specific one at the moment, only Lucifer or Charlie can defeat Constantine, no one else in Hell is crazy enough to try to fight him. At least not yet.

4.Thank you for asking but no I've got nothing to add at the moment., and Constantine is my character, yes. but this is your fanfic, you can do whatever you want as long as you keep his personality, have fun! And when you're done writing and publish it on ao3 please tag me on tw and I look forward to reading it!

Dream’s Therapist

Emotions

I have prepared for today’s session with going over previous notes. I decided to carefully delve deeper into the topic of the client’s own perceived emotional detachment that is so visibly not the case (he feels very clearly, even if he occasionally pretends he doesn’t. We have made some progress in last week’s session that I would like to build on).

The client is on time again (well, slightly early). When he comes into my office, the coat stays on this time. I don’t engage in small talk, as it seems his perceived preference.

DT: How has the thinking and journaling gone since last week? How have you been feeling over all?

Dream (He sits straight as an arrow and doesn’t look at me): I don't feel. I exist. Emotions are for mortals.

DT (I admit to myself that I am a tad disappointed. For him. I thought we were making progress, but it seems we are back to square one): I see. Have you been journaling, as suggested?

Dream (I notice a sigh I can only interpret as dejected): Yes. I did peruse the infernal book. “Dear Diary, a star died. It was mildly annoying.”

DT (I cannot help but think there is more to this than meets the eye and proceed with caution): I guess annoyance is a feeling?

Dream (I notice his stare is even more vacant than usual): I don't feel. The star had unresolved issues.

DT (I notice he projects and is trying to deflect at the same time): We are not talking about the star’s issues though, are we? We are talking about whatever has been going on with you, either over the past week or in general.

Dream: Not today. (The way he purses his lips is reminiscent of someone who has sucked on a lemon, and I get the feeling today’s session will be… difficult. I decide to change tack and revisit the topic dreams and nightmares since he opened, and lightened, up about them the last time.)

DT: Is there anything else you would rather talk about? Your nightmares? Your dreams?

Dream: I don't dream. I weave tapestries of existential dread.

DT (It’s really going backwards now): And what do these tapestries tell you?

Dream (I notice he crosses one leg over the other and leans back in his chair. Not without also crossing his arms in front of his chest): That my thread count is impeccable.

DT (I notice extreme defensiveness and decide on a different course of action): Are you open to trying an exercise?

Dream (I notice the eye-roll): If I must.

DT: There are no “musts” in here. You either decide to give it a shot or you don’t.

Dream (And there is the exhale through his nose): Fine.

DT: Okay. I’d like you to get comfortable in your chair…

Dream (I notice he moves around on his sitbones a bit): Your chairs are not very conducive to comfort.

DT (The chairs are actually very comfortable. He just decided they’re not comfortable for him because he doesn’t want them to be): Get as comfortable as possible then. (I notice some further shuffling, and when he finally settles, his legs are not crossed anymore. His arms, however, stay firmly crossed in front of his chest). If it’s comfortable for you, close your eyes.

Dream: What if it is not?

DT: In that case, keep them open. (I notice he keeps on staring at me, so I decide to just proceed): I’d like you to bring up a kitten playing with a ball of yarn in your mind.

Dream (He actually snorts. I am briefly confused at the unexpected display of amusement. He blinks slowly.): Really?

DT (I mirror his blink): Really.

Dream (He unexpectedly closes his eyes. A brief silence ensues): I can see it. The kitten's existential crisis is palpable.

DT: What else do you sense or feel?

Dream (I notice he opens his eyes and just stares at me. Again…) I feel nothing. Perhaps the kitten should consider therapy, not I.

DT (I decide to call things by their name): What do you think makes you avoid being vulnerable? Around anyone, but specifically around me? (He looks at the paperweight on my desk. I ignore it. The silence lasts for three minutes.) You don’t have to be here if you prefer not to, but you are taking these sessions for a reason. Can you verbalise that reason for me again? (I notice he mumbles something indistinguishable while looking at his boots.) Pardon?

Dream (He looks out the window, clearly avoiding eye-contact, and raises his voice ever so slightly.) I feel uninspired.

DT (I withstand the temptation to point out that he just admitted he feels): And would you like any type of support with feeling more inspired again, or do you think you will be able to solve the issue yourself?

Dream (He looks at me again. Barely. With a dipped chin and through his lashes.): I might appreciate your… expertise.

DT: The delusional one?

Dream (I notice he smiles. A small smile, but it is the first one that is clearly identifiable as such): That, too.

DT: Okay, then let’s keep going and dig a bit deeper. Without deflection and changing the topic—do you think you can do that?

Dream (I notice the smile disappears): I might try.

DT (I nod towards the paperweight): Can you try to pick it up? (He picks it up hesitantly.) No, I said, “Can you try to pick it up.” (He puts it down again and looks confused.) Try again. (He lifts it once more and holds on to it this time.) So did you try, or did you pick it up?

Dream (I notice his eyebrows are knotted so tightly I start to feel sorry for him.): I picked it up?

DT: Right. There is doing or not doing. There is no “trying”. You do something, or you don’t. You trust me or you don’t. Both is fine. You do it, or you don’t. You stop to deflect to get out of discomfort, or you don’t. You pick up the paperweight, or you don’t. It’s always your choice, but it’s a choice you make.

Dream (I notice he stares at me, then the paperweight): I… chose to pick up the weight, and I shall hold on to it for a while.

DT: Good. Let's keep going then. Tell me about your relationships.

Dream (I notice his eyes darting at me quicker than the speed of light. I also notice the paperweight moves in his hands. The silence lasts for seven minutes. He holds on to the paperweight very tightly for a moment and then begins to speak): I had relationships of a romantic nature. To hold on to them has proven to be impossible.

DT: Any idea as to why?

Dream (I notice his voice is very quiet): Because my… feelings (he looks at me briefly before he turns his attention to the paperweight again) are complicated, and they tend to scatter like cosmic dust.

DT: I’ve noticed you like to speak in metaphor…

Dream: As do you.

DT: Do I?

Dream: Sometimes.

DT: And does speaking like that, or being spoken to that way, make things easier for you?

Dream: Yes and no.

DT: Explain the no.

Dream: Perhaps I… would appreciate a more direct approach. But it makes me uncomfortable nonetheless.

DT: Discomfort isn’t always a bad thing. If you stay comfortable all the time, nothing changes.

Dream (I notice a sound not unlike a wince): I do not change.

DT: I am aware I asked this before, but why are you here then?

Dream (I notice he turns the paperweight in his hands): Because I feel like the kitten.

DT (I need a hot second to remember): You feel you have an existential crisis?

Dream (He stays quiet for seven minutes again. I wonder if he is actually counting seconds in his head): I might have diversified into a certain sense of ennui. (I notice he smiles briefly, but it actually looks weary.)

DT: Any idea as to why that is? Or what might provide relief? (I notice he stares intently at the paperweight again) Why the paperweight?

Dream (He reflexively puts it back on my desk): It reminds me of things.

DT: Good memories or bad?

Dream: Perhaps both (I notice his eyes disengage, and he vacantly stares out the window again.)

DT: Is it something you wish to talk about?

Dream (He looks at me again): I trust our time is up?

DT: No. But if you feel the need to leave, that’s okay. I’d just like to encourage you to think about whether your ennui is as practised as your avoidance.

Dream (He gets up and looks down at me in a fairly disgruntled way): Perhaps you might reflect whether your persistence is annoying.

DT: Well, you’re not paying me to humour you, are you?

Dream (I notice he seems to think for a second, and inexplicably, his face lightens up. If that’s possible at all, because his expressions hover on the micro-spectrum): Perhaps you do humour me. (I wonder if he is actually smiling again or just looks mildly pissed off.)

DT: I suggest I might be the wrong person if you are looking for entertainment. But if you are committed enough to this, I will use ink in my diary again and see you next week. Same time.

Dream (I notice he definitely smiles this time): If the universe doesn't implode by then. (The smile vanishes as quickly as it has appeared, and I am left mildly concerned he might actually believe that’s a possibility.)

After he has left, I begin to write down further notes. Something catches my eye. It looks like sparkly dust suspended in mid-air. I have a lot of questions…

< Previous Session

Week 19 of the Daily Dragon Challenge! Been having a busy May! Which isn't always a bad thing I suppose. But I've been slowing down on my Daily Dragon Duties. Gotta pick it up!!

As always you can follow me on twitter where they’re posted daily

And read more info on each of them below the cut

Daily Dragon #126 - Hothead

Happy 40th anniversary TMNT!! I've been wanting do draw Hothead, or just some TMNT dragon, for a bit now. Soooo, why not take advantage of the anniversary, right?

This is my own design inspired by a few different sources, mainly the action figure and tournament fighters' boxart and his in game sprite. There's a LOT more TMNT dragons than I think you realize, so dont be surprised if I do another one later

Daily Dragon #127 - Marci Midas

This dragon's main interests are: Gold, Golden things, looking richer than everyone else, and ignoring you. Maybe if you ask reeeeaaally nicely and give her presents she'll look in your general direction,

Saw all the really good gold week posts and the idea of like, a dragon that hordes gold wearing a golden bikini came to my mind so I thought I'd try making her. I'm not 100% satisfied with how it came out but I think the concept is hot enough, and she's already finish so- yeah

Anyway happy (late) gold week I suppose, I may try to do other clothing challenge dragons in the future but we'll see how I feel cause I have a hard time keeping up with all of them and I keep wanting to draw the Axel girls in them instead

Daily Dragon #128 - Mirage Wyrm

Those who are lost in large deserts and tundras, when stricken with exhaustion and dehydration, often see Mirage Wyrms approach them. Although they are strange 2D specters, they are physical manifestations and WILL consume you if you're weak

Daily Dragon #129 - Dojo Kanojo Cho

Missed yesterday's dragon and I feel like the perfect dragon for a late day is our boy Dojo! I feel like I don't talk about it nearly enough but I LOVE Xiaolin Showdown so much it's unreal. Don't be surprised if I do another dragon from it

tear down the false idol

Daily Dragon #130 - Naten Shellie Shieldheart

This character was a ton of fun to work on and I'm glad people trust me enough with non-animal characters to design their humanoid ocs lol Thanks for letting me include them in the challenge!

Daily Dragon #131 - Raptor Wyvern

These predators can tear through the air at incredibly high speeds, using their massive claws, they can strike at prey quick and swoops them up before the poor animal even realized what happened

Daily Dragon #132 - Huggogon

Large, kind, and fluffy dragons who just love love! They're very affectionate, love hugging, and are kind to everyone they encounter. Similar to Capybaras, they seemingly have no natural enemies

Quick redraw of a dragon I did at FWA LAST year. Figured it was the perfect chance to reboot them for this challenge! I also love the other two so dont be surprised if they get a redo eventually too

Hiii. So i was thinking dabi x fem reader who was left out by her family her whole life (like missy from young Sheldon) anyway! Feel free to ignore it if you want i was just thinking:3

There was a lot in common between you and Dabi, similar lives, similar pasts and similar thoughts on heros. That's how you caught his attention in the first place, it was over a shared bottle of nasty beer, under the beautiful midnight stars. He had asked why you joined the LoV in the first place. You hadn't planned to spill all your dirty little secrets concerning your family but it happened and Dabi he had spilled a bit about himself. After that you guys became pretty close, it was mostly sex with the occasional vulnerabilities shared between you two. You'd go too him and cry, wishing things were different in your life but, Dabi always assured you that he would keep you safe.. and he did. Anytime you needed him, he'd be there, of course from the stories you told him about your family he also grew too hate them. He told you he was willing too burn them for you but you had laughed and told him it wasn't needed, he was all you needed now. From then on Dabi had promised himself and you, that he would take care of you from then on. Anytime you had something too say he'd be all ears. Allowing you too talk his ears off and if anyone interrupted you.. well, they'll have a not-so-fun tome in the burn unit, if they'll still alive that is. Dabi is a firm believer that actions speak louder than words, and with Dabi, it's always the small things that he appreciates more. Whether that be holding you close while you cry too him, letting you soak his shirt with salty tears and rubbing your back while you choke out sobs into his shoulder. Always including you in decisions, even if they don't need your input. Dabi knows what it feels like to be forgotten by his family, in favor of his youngest sibling. The dark thoughts rolling around in his head if he were too ever see the people you're unfortunately related too. Dabi isn't the best person too go to comfort, he can be blunt and apathetic but... he's trying for you. You can always come too him with whatever you need, it'd never a bother for him. He's appreciative that you trust him enough too be honest. You're always heard around Dabi, always seen in Dabis eyes. Because too him, your opinion is more valuable then the prettiest of diamonds.

Curiosity killed the cat- Spider!Sam x reader drabble

i am not the owner of the spider sam idea its @sswiftiestars i believe !! love ur idea bae so cute i js had to write

i feel like being devious today so this is MOSTLY ANGST😈😈

TW: mentions of death , graphic explanation of death and grief , cursing

its based on when Gwen is in the wrong place at the wrong time and peter tries saving her and it just doesn’t happen. but like i havent rewatched that movie in so long so im gna switch it up a bit but u get the idea - lowkey a bit long but wtv

enjoy. ( what i rlly mean is SUFFER.)

—-———————-★ ———————-——————

Thursday, June 10th

6:40 pm

YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE , this wasn’t supposed to happen. You were supposed to be in the library but they decided to close early today.

The city of New york always had something going on but recently , the most exhilarating thing was a new “hero” as people would describe had emerged from who knows where?

you were so fascinated with this hero , the one the media called Spiderman.

A good amount of people which included your own father had doubts in this spider hero , believing it was all a ruse and that it was just for attention.

I mean it was expected considering his actions of saving people took attention away from actual police and even made them look like fools time from time.

So your father who happened to be Chief of police ironic right? was going crazy and wanted nothing more than to see this “madman” as he called it to be put behind bars.

The sky was a shade of grey and dark blue mixed , the clouds prominent all over showing that it was going to rain quite heavily very soon.

This weird unfamiliar buzzing noise hits your ears but its New york, weird shit everywhere.

You were headed home from the library, after finishing your essay for your english class on the classic Romeo and Juliet , you couldn’t help but wonder about your own Romeo.

or as you would call him Sam monroe.

Sam monroe was your lab partner in science at first, you two had gotten rather close over the year. You started to view each other in different ways rather than just as classmates.

Two days ago , he mustered up the courage to ask you out on a date while dissecting an frog… not the best moment but still you found him extremely adorable with his dark dyed locks , his guy-liner, his graphic tees of rock bands and his silver piercings covering on his ears.

and when he nervously fidgets asking you out , with his ears all red and avoiding eye contact

How could you possibly say no?

Tomorrow was Friday, the day of your date with your Romeo.

Speaking of him actually, you hadn’t seen him after he apparently frantically ran out of his history class and didn’t return at all to school.

Highschool boys were unpredictable so it didn’t worry you much but you couldn’t deny that he was on your mind.

Your thoughts were brought to a halt as you hear the rumbling of the clouds above , indicating the downpour was going to start.

While looking up at the sky , the familiar figure you identified as Spiderman flys roof to roof in a sloppy manner , as if he was running from someone.

You knew you should have left it alone , left him to do whatever hero’s do but you didn’t think about what everyone says- Curiosity kills the Cat.

you glanced at the entrance leading up to the roof of the building the Spider vigilante landed on , bolting up the various steps of stairs

Finally you make it to the roof , spotting the figure in the black suit. You called out his name “Spider man! spider maan!!” hoping he hears over the thundering clouds from above

Spider man looks directly at you and from his body language, he was terrified to see you here. You run up to him and he looks around frantically as if he’s fearful of something around the two of you.

“whats going on? i saw you being basically flung!”

“What are you doing here?? you cant be up here!” he says urging. “you need to leave like right now n/n!”

n/n? how does he know… what sam calls you?

you dont respond , you just stare at the mask of the man who knows a very personal nickname someone special has for you.

the thunder grumbles louder and louder and the sound of the odd buzzing from earlier comes closer.

“y/n please! you need to go right now!” please!” he begs , his voice doesn’t even sound masked anymore. It sounds strangely familiar… It sounded like Sam.

you look at him wide eyed as he gripped your shoulders and continued to beg for you to leave this instant. You couldn’t think straight as the only thought you formed in your head was Sam.

This was a very very long shot in your opinion but you hesitatingly muttered out his name causing the Spider hero in-front of you to go dead silent , unable to look up at you any longer. Your mouth drops and you stand shell shocked.

Its Sam.

Its been Sam this whole time.

“Sam? yo- your Spiderman?? Sam???” you said in a voice that suggested you were beyond confused , your brain spinning beyond a doubt

“look i- i cant talk about this now! i promise i will later! y/n please. go.” desperation lacing his voice.

The buzzing sound is basically right behind you , its starting to piss you off.

You spin your head around and all of a sudden something of a green devilish figure flys towards you and drags you off the ledge.

It all happened so quickly , you were standing there with spid- Sam. You were standing there with Sam one minute and the next? falling to your demise.

You couldn’t even scream out as the air was sucked out of your lungs while you plummeted down the stories of apartments. Sams masked figure instantly jumped off the roof after you in hopes of catching you , his hand reaching for yours.

His webs go around your body and he tries his hardest to reach you in time but it doesn’t work.

Your body has the life sucked out of it , your limbs go numb and your vision gone even though your eyes remained open. Your body hung just a few inches off the ground , tangled in spider webs.

gone.

dead.

“no no no no, this cant be happening. no no!” his sobs grow louder and louder with each word , denying what had just happened.

“n/n please wake up. please please say something, do anything please.” his vision completely blurry behind the mask with tears , he rips it off. Holding your empty vessel of a body so close to himself.

“please dont leave me.”

He puts his ear next to your chest in hopes of a heart beat. repositioning himself every second so that he doesn’t miss even a faint one but nothing happened.

he drops to his knees , brushing the hairs out of your face and closing your eyelids.

The rain starts pouring over the two of you but nothing could block out Sams sobs of anguish.

“you weren’t supposed to be here. Not now , this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

———————————-★ ———————-——————

i had no idea i could be so… dark when writing gosh

im gonna go watch some barbie movies to recuperate after this.

let me know what u think !! leave requests/questions/advice or anything in inbox please!!

always lovely having mutuals

😵love ya guys

I would have been perfectly fine with Spinner (or the League) kneeling in front of Deku, literally begging him to save Shigaraki. In fact, I was kinda hoping for it. That Spinner, out of his strong feelings for Shigaraki, would turn to their enemies for help. Because, in the end, more than the horizon, more than destruction or villainy, Spinner was remembering his friend, and he wanted Shigaraki back, he pleaded with Kurogiri to save Shigaraki and the others. So Spinner would go to the Heroes, he would go to Deku.

Because that should've been the point, right? That the League regains faith in Heroes and society. That the League feels a definite change happening enough they would feel comfortable going to the Heroes for help. That Spinner would regain hope in Heroes enough to entrust Shigaraki's well-being to them.

Way I imagined it, Deku would be vocal and upfront about his desire to save Shigaraki. That he will stop Shigaraki without killing or gravely injuring him, and he will both save Shigaraki from AFO and save Shigaraki's heart. He advocates for treating Villains as human, is unashamed and steadfast in doing so, and this is noticed by the Villains, who sees Deku as different. As a ray of hope, as the promise of change.

And meanwhile, Deku would realize that besides an Inner Innocent Crying Child, there was something more to Shigaraki as he is in the present. That Shigaraki was an unforgivable man who had done terrible things and wants to keep destroying things, but he did so for a reason and not because Evil Mwahaha. That there was a reason the League is so loyal to Shigaraki, that they loved him for his fairness and kindness, twisted as it may be. Deku didn't need to put all his faith in an inner child innocence, because the evidence was right there that Shigaraki has some good in him, even now. Spinner begging Deku to save Shigaraki, because Shigaraki was his friend, Shigaraki was one of the very few people to accept Spinner and not treat him like a lizard freak and not consider him impure and gave him a place to belong even tho he was a weak loser. Shigaraki wasn't a person in spite of the destruction and rage; he was a person because of the destruction and rage, because he wanted to help the Villains. Shigaraki saved the outcasts when no Hero did.

Deku would realize this not because Shigaraki declared it, but because he gleaned it from Shigaraki's actions and effect on the League, and it would fuel his desire to save. "I want to save that Crying Child—whose pain made him grow up to become a Villain that dreamed of being a hero for all the others in pain. I want to help him realize that goal. I want both of us to be Heroes."

But of course none of this happened. As of Midoriya Izuku: Rising, a chapter that should be Deku's heroic peak, no Villain is looking to Deku for the promise of change. No villain believes in Heroes in general. Dabi wondered why no one showed up sooner. Toga, as she prepared to die, wistfully thought that if someone had loved and accepted her, maybe things could've been different; she only believed in Ochako, and still wanted the world the League would create. (Deku in fact went and made Toga give up her final attempt for understanding when he told her "I understand admiration but you do it all wrong and weird.") Spinner believed that if Heroes win the day, nothing still change. The Heteromorphs didn't stop because they knew or were promised change would come - they stopped because of their own goodness, second guessing themselves and ready to give up their demands out of fear of hurting the people that ignored their plight. They were ready to go back to enduring hate crimes, if Shoji hadn't rewarded them for stopping... by saying they should keep enduring hate crimes until the perpetrators learn to feel shame.

And most of all, Shigaraki continued to desire being a Hero for the Villains, because he knows that's still necessary (pre-419 reveal, anyway). None of this is regaining trust in the world as a whole, in the Hero System.

None of the League, the main villains, the main targets of being saved, are looking to Heroes for hope. That's insane??? What was all this saving even for???

Hi!! I love your writing. And every idea you have is so well done, i admire you. Do you have any tips for writing?

Thank you so much! I'm glad my writing and random rambles entertain you. It's always so lovely to realize people generally like how I write!

Tips: Pick a POV you understand.

It's always been easier for me to pick one character and tell the story from their POV. The best way to do that is to try to think how a character would naturally think compared to the characters they interact with.

For example, Dick- He's much more emotionally aware than his family only because he is often times trying to mentally calm himself down. He tends to have severe anger issues- not that he flies off the handle quickly, but more like when he gets mad, he gets dangerous.

He doesn't like that part of himself, so he's always trying to control his emotions. Dick just happens to be a really emotional guy.

That's why his thoughts tend to be more about observations of people's behavior, compared to Tim, who is always mentally connecting facts and thinking objectively about observations. Tim will more likely notice things like what someone is wearing, how likely that person is to be in the area they are spotted in, and how he can use this information to his advantage.

That doesn't mean either they are dumb or dense; they just tend to notice different things in different order.

This helps you know when to make key plot points appear and when to announce them to the audience in a more natural setting. Foreshadowing, too- You can drop it in an observation like Dick noticing Danny's face brightens when talking about ghosts or Tim noticing Danny never pays attention to how cold it is by never wearing warm clothes. It's not enough to make a leap that Danny is a ghost, but little things like that can add up until the Character has an A-ha! Moment.

It makes it easier for you to make the characters feel different and not just copies of each other.

Also, when describing what your character is noticing, you need to start off with one thing and build your way out. When you walk into a park, you don't usually take the whole place in at once- bombarding your brain with everything.

You usually launch onto something- say the big tree in the middle- and pan your eyes around the park, taking notice of other things after that. The children are playing, the birds are singing, the cars are passing by, etc. As the character moves around the setting, write what they see one by one with actions in between, so it's not a wall of description.

That is if you like a wall of description. It's some people's writing style, and each their own! Writing is a form of art, and all art is self-expression. There is no right or wrong way to go, so enjoy yourself too! Technical skills are built on, but passion is fundamental and you can't have passion without enjoyment.

A Rating & Scathing Review of RWBY Characters:

Done by: Me (surprise!)

This is a serious review where I seriously analyze each character and rate them all seriously!!

If I hurt anyone in this, I’m sorry, it’s not you, it’s me. It’s nothing personal.

That being said, let’s get on to the ratings!

Ruby Rose:

Can I just say:

I really just love Ruby. Isn’t she awesome? Like. Man. What a lovable, strong, caring, amazing person! Had the weight of the world thrown onto her, and she didn’t care, she just kept doing what she thought was the right thing. And when she broke? It was still selfless. She thought she was doing the world a favor after all her mistakes. Then she came back because she knew she could do and had to do more for everyone. She needs a hug and all the love.

Rating:

Infinity/10

Weiss Schnee:

Weiss??? The way she opens up and goes from being all, “friendship? Who needs it.” To, “I! Love! My! Friends! Friendship is magic! I will fight tooth and nail for them! They are the most important people in the world!” And the way she became so open minded after learning from different perspectives? Gotta love her.

Rating:

Infinity/10

Blake Belladonna:

Oh my gosh and another of my favorites: Blake! She learns to let herself be loved by those around her! She learns that letting people in isn’t a weakness, but a great strength! She is a fierce protector and a whole civil rights activist taking the world by storm! She finds a way to show love now in any scenario when beforehand she didn’t because she was scared to get hurt. Gosh. Spectacular.

Rating:

Infinity/10

Yang Xiao-Long:

Don’t even get me started on Yang. Protector Supreme. The way she used to let her emotions control her to controlling her emotions??? I’m in shambles. From learning how to live for herself and not just her sister??? It’s important even though she missed rubys pain she’s only human and she’s beautiful!! The way she loves through her actions and defends through her words??? Just kill me now.

Rating:

Infinity/10

Jaune Arc:

Oh yeah and Jaune??? The character development??? Wowza. The way he’s always there for those he cares about??? Fantastic. The way he would throw everything away just to be there for his friends?? I am deceased. His fortitude and determination to keep pushing through?? Ugh.

Rating:

Infinity/10

Nora Valkyrie:

Nora??????? My Queen????? With her heart a beautiful storm that she projects to all those around her??? Her protective nature over everyone??? How she learns that she needs to love herself and know herself before she can truly dedicate herself to another???? Literally puts me 6 feet under.

Rating:

Infinity/10

Pyrrha Nikos:

Pyrrha??? Don’t think I’m leaving her out of this! Her heart was so strong with her convictions and her love for her friends that she literally did everything she thought she could to protect them. She wanted to define her destiny and save the world in the way she thought only she could. I will literally never recover.

Rating:

Infinity/10

Oscar Pine:

Oscar???????????????? My baby???? My precious little prince??? Innocent farm boy who keeps getting slapped in the face by literally everyone (seriously crwby this poor boy needs a break and a hug) literally losing his soul but wants to spend every second he has doing everything he can for remnant???? He didn’t ask for this???? And yet here he is??? I haven’t stopped crying since V5 thank you very much!

Rating:

Infinity/10

Lie Ren:

Ren????? My boy??? Who feels like he always has to be the strong one emotionally??? Who always has to mask his own emotions to take care of others???? Who literally developed a semblance, a manifestation of his SOUL that is empathy??????? Like what???? Who would literally rather be dead than without Nora?? Who tried to take up the mantle of Jaunes emotional support humanness???? Orkcmekwkqo.

Rating:

Infinity/10

I could go on for the rest of my life for these people and literally every other character.

Also, how come tumblr doesn’t have more colors available??? Truly a tragedy and quite rude if I might say! Hmph!

I really hope someone gets some giggles out of this like I did!

Let me know if anyone wants me to do another HIGHLY critical review (ahem) and rating of these characters.

Gonna go cry now bye-

first time

40’s!bucky x reader

smut

bucky always knew that he would stay a virgin until he met the perfect woman. a nice, innocent and well mannered dame who would love and appreciate him. he began to grow worried that he would never find the right woman, until he met y/n. bucky and her have been dating for 2 years, even before he got the serum. bucky has always known that she was the perfect girl for him, and now he is ready to show her just how sure he is about her.

y/n hums as she cleans the kitchen. she has not seen bucky in months due to him being away with the military. y/n jumps in excitement as she hears a knock on the door. she smiles and giggles as she hurries to open the door. behind the door is her large, muscular and tall boyfriend, standing at about 6 feet and 6 inches. y/n and bucky always loved the height difference between the two of them. it turned both of them on to know that he could control her body and every movement because of how much larger he is than her. the moment that the door begins to open bucky rushed in, throws y/n over his shoulder, and begins speed walking to the bedroom. he throws her onto the bed as she lets out screams and giggles at the sudden action. bucky grabs y/n’s hand and puts in on his massive boner. she begins to palm him through his pants and he starts groaning as the two make out. “i need you so bad, baby. i know we talked about waiting until marriage but i know i am going to marry you and i need to be inside of you, i can’t wait anymore, doll, i need it, please.” bucky says. y/n is silent for a moment before she whispers “have me, buck. i’m all yours. fuck me”. bucky groans at y/n’s words and pulls off her skirt and top. he grabs her panties and rips them off her body. y/n gasps, but has no time to complain about her ripped panties, because bucky begins licking all over her pussy. y/n is automatically whimpering and whining for steve as he begins to insert one finger. he groans on her pussy as he feels how wet she is. she wetness immediately overtaking bucky’s senses and he can’t seem to get enough of her pussy. he is completely focused on eating y/n out that he doesn’t even realize that she is about to come. “bucky! baby! i’m coming don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop!”. he speeds up his motions and y/n finally falls over the edge with a scream. he retracts his fingers and y/n is panting and zoning out, so she doesn’t even notice bucky taking off his pants eagerly. he groans as he begins to stroke his cock, and this gets y/n’s attention. y/n’s jaw dropped. her eyes trailed down his body and she loved every inch of him. finally, her eyes land on his cock. it. was. huge. his cock was at least 8 inches, very thick and an aching pink red tip that was leaking pre-cum. how is this going to fit inside of me? y/n thought. “don’t worry sweetheart, it’ll fit i promise”. bucky grunted as he continued to pleasure himself. y/n sits up and wraps her small hand around bucky’s huge cock, mimicking the movements that he was making before. he immediately groans at the touch, as he can feel his balls tighten. he slaps y/n’s hand away as he pushes her back down on the bed. “i can’t wait any longer baby i need you now”. bucky growls as he rolls a condom over his large cock. once the condom is on he quickly gets on the bed, and begins to push in slowly while peppering kisses all over y/n’s face. once he is bottomed out, y/n has tears running down her face, and her makeup and hair is ruined. this is bucky’s breaking point. she looks so fucking hot and ruined over his dick that he can’t take it anymore. he begins pounding into y/n. her discomfort immediately turns into intense pleasure and she begins moaning very loudly into his ear. hearing his girl moaning so loudly brings steve closer to the edge, so he reaches down between their two bodies and begins rubbing her clit so they can come at the same time. y/n screams “oh my god babe i’m going to come! i’m going to fucking come!” bucky moves his fingers faster and thrusts faster. y/n squirts and the liquid goes in between their two bodies while bucky continues thrusting, feeling his high approaching. he bottoms out and groans loudly as he begins to come into the condom. “oh my god baby there’s so much cum it won’t stop y/n” bucky whimpers until his long orgasm comes to an end. as steve pulls out, he removes the condom, and sees the amount of come in the condom. “oh my god bucky…” y/n moaned as she licked the come dripping off of the tip of his dick. he hisses in overstimulation.

bucky drags y/n to the shower, and they spend time washing each other slowly and giggling as they cover each other in soap. after, they change the sheets of their bed to lay together and cuddle. “thank you, y/n. you were amazing. i can’t wait to marry you.” bucky whispers. “i love you so much, steve” y/n says as she presses a kiss to bucky’s lips. “i love you more, baby”. the couple goes to sleep, knowing that tomorrow morning they will wake up and repeat the fun all over again.

I know I've twisted myself into a goddamn pretzel the past five or so years trying not to be 'too much' and backing off when I am

but

A good deal of why I started the #dr literacy tag is precisely because of this- I am beyond tired and fed up, with the kinds of things that people have ignored and left on my back- whether it's to do with Kokichi, or V3 overall. It's easy to deflect and call me 'delusional', and five years later never even consider the implications of having called me that over what I've been trying to grapple with, much less apologise to me sincerely and genuinely try to understand where I'm coming from and why it's so hard to discuss in the first place- not to mention why it's so easy to make mistakes not least because the way Kodaka plays with themes can be decidedly insensitive (and I was clearly out of my depth with that when I started this blog)

This isn't about all of you. A good number of people here have been wonderful about this, even if they don't understand all too well. But frankly such people are the exception rather than the rule, and the rule is that people don't bother to interrogate their own biases about Kokichi, or really grapple with the way him and V3's narrative might be constructed with bias. And this unwillingness to accept ambiguity and nuance results in some genuinely hurtful behaviour towards people who try to point out that, maybe, not everything was even his fault, or that his character and situation is far more layered than it appears on a first run of the game. Or even a second, or third.

So I'm gonna need people in that camp to swear that you'll do better about this going forward. No really. This situation I've been in didn't come out of nowhere, and while I've beaten the proverbial horse to death that I haven't always been fair or reasonable either, that does not mean I should just back myself into a wall and take the status quo that is 'Tsumugi is telling the truth and Kokichi is just a clown' as a 'fact of canon'. Because there's a very good chance that that might not even be true, and that there's even more tangled messes Kodaka left in the text to unpack that you never even thought of, and that really NEED extra care and nuance to fully understand.

I know you're probably sick of hearing this from me by now. But this is an issue that can never be helped until it's faced head on, and the effect of basically being pathologised over it (due to *checks notes* autism), is seriously damaging- the inability of people to address things as serious issues and themes rather than 'just the pet theory that came out of my nutty head', is something I cannot, on principle, force myself to accept. So please just think about the way you're approaching issues in the future. I will try to do the same.

excuse me i need to Muse on something for a moment

so in Wally's secret 'vinyl' audios, specifically the last few (if we're listening to em in chronological order), obviously he starts to sound more strained/distressed. his breathing is more labored, like it's taking all of his energy to make contact.

but the audio that really caught my attention was the "But i still can't see" one. cause he just said he has more eyes than he did before. he knows We draw them a lot, and it's thanks to that that he can see. but he still can't see?

so my question is: where is Wally physically? cause although he can (assumedly) see the WHRP goings on, he can see through the eyes We draw, that could all be on a, uh... more Intangible level of sight. like the spiral pit is forming an eye, and then there's the eye on the ceiling in the secret Staff Only section - could Wally be in the pit, that space between his reality and Ours, "watching" through the eyes? but unable to actually see with due to the pit being pitch black nothingness? is he somewhere else? is he stuck? he can see, but he can't... see.

(or is he trying to explain an abstract concept - he's not actually viewing anything, but he can sense it. like how he knows We're there, even if he can't see or hear Us. but he just doesn't have the words to describe it other than using physical senses - see, hear, look.)

and him saying "...that I can see. But it is still... I can't..." but it's still what, Wally? dark? something else that he doesn't have the words to describe, so he just says that he can't see?

i know that in the Livestream Trivia Document (compiled by @/the neighborhoodwatch) there was something said about Wally being in a box. my first thought reading that was "oh, so he's in storage? the physical puppet, i mean?" which would make sense - show's over, there's no more use for him. pack 'em up and put him away. but that paired with the "can't see" audio makes both seem a lil... connected.

Wally can't see > he's likely somewhere dark > the inside of closed boxes are dark > Wally's in a box. (or maybe the Neighborhood is the box? it's a stretch, i know, but the map is a box. television sets are often set up in "boxes". maybe it's less of a physical storage box and more of a 'boxed in' sort of thing...)

one question i've had since the Start of my interest in this incredible project is: how is Wally communicating? how has he connected to the site? how does he connect to our reality? the pit almost definitely has something to do with it - most likely acting as a bridge, or the deteriorating of the barrier between our two 'worlds' - but if Wally is in a box and Not the pit or even just in the puppet's reality... how is he reaching us beyond just seeing through the eyes he's given?

or is he in their reality, and he can contact through the pit or something, but he can't actually see the other side? Our side? he knows it's there - that We're there - but none of it is visible to him. maybe his apparent disassociation in the 14 bug audios is a demonstration of him contacting Us. we can see through him, but it's a one way street.

and speaking of the pit - i just had a thought. his whole thing with Us letting him in, opening... the pit on the neighborhood map is getting bigger and clearer. but the presumed Other Side, the one on the Staff Only ceiling, is small. it's the size of a ceiling panel. it seems to me that Wally is chipping away at his side of the pit or 'portal', trying to reach Our reality, but he needs Us to do the same thing on the other side. the QA can hear him calling, but there's no phone on their (Our) side of the pit. how do We call back???

there's a fundamental barrier & lack of understanding between Wally and the QA/Us. he's trying. he wants to be let in, but what does that mean, really? let him in where? open what? he's desperate. he wants us to understand. he's trying so so hard Without the right tools to clearly communicate what he wants. he can't see Us, We can see him, both know the other is there, but there's no way to connect. and the attempts are hurting all parties involved, however unintentionally

do i post my long explanation of empathy vs sympathy re: roman tonight or is that just excessive

thinking about wat standing up for akk to an angry kan right after ayan stood up to an angry waree for him... about how the situation escalated to where akk would have to try and support waree to calm her down a little bit because ayan pushed and stood up to her in a way people usually don’t... about how akk seemingly supporting her made kan so angry but also revealed to wat how willing akk was to make himself look like the bad guy... about how akk has always been brave in a way that nobody sees but how he doesn’t even try to defend himself to kan... but also about how pushing the boundaries is revealing more about all of them to each other that they never even knew despite really, genuinely being close supportive friends