#we have been waiting for this for a little over three years
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daydreamin' and i'm thinking of you - j.m.
summary: jj returns from a day of surfing and devotes his night to you and a lil bit of weed.
word count: 2.3k
warnings: smoking weed, a lil suggestive, but mostly super fluffy and full of sweetness
author's note: back from the dead pookies!!! i just wanna say how incredibly grateful that none of yall have come for my wishy-washy ass! this year has been vcery hectic and rough, and i am so thankful y'all have let me be MIA. here's this little blurb smooch ily (i was too scared to flesh out the smut at the end IM SORRY ITS BEEN A WHILE)
JJ smells like a perfect, heady blend of sunscreen and salt when he and the boys get back from surfing. You’re waiting on the porch like a little 1950’s wife, and he runs up and hugs you as soon as he gets out of the Twinkie, acting like its been months since he’s seen you instead of a few hours.
“J!” You’re giggling as he swings you around, smacking loud kisses all over your face and neck.
“Missed ya, pretty girl,” he murmurs into your neck.
John B slaps JJ’s back, surprising him so he lets go of you. “You literally just saw each other.”
JJ’s jaw drops, hand over his heart like he’s been deeply wounded. “You’re just mad your woman isn’t out here to greet you,” he counters, squeezing your side and giving John B a sympathetic look.
“Wrong!’ Sarah says as she pushes open the screen door, giving her boyfriend an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek.
John B grins back at JJ, and follows Sarah back inside.
“You still up for that boat date later?” you ask, fingers intertwining with his.
You swear his eyes sparkle. “Um, duh!”
A few hours later, the sun is sinking into the horizon, sky turning the prettiest pink and orange. You are toting a basket full of picnic supplies: a tupperware full of elote salad, another with some grilled chicken, a speaker, and of course, a little cellophane baggie and some rolling papers. JJ’s job is to carry the fishing poles and bait (raw hot-dogs because why would he spend money on crickets when there’s hot dogs in the fridge?), and the six-pack of mini Dr. Peppers you’ll split (JJ will inevitably drink two of your three).
“Where are you going?” You hear someone call from inside the house, but both of you act like you can’t hear it.
HMS Pogue is sitting pretty at the end of the dock, and you practically skip onto it. The rev of the engine is like the call of an old friend, thrumming through you, bare feet on the deck.
You sit cross legged at the bow while JJ drives, your hair flowing behind you. The spray of freshwater is perfectly refreshing.
It’s dusk when the boat reaches a little secluded spot on the marsh, and JJ announces it. “Gorgeous,” he says, the sky purple above him. “And no one around for miles.” He plops next to you, sticking his nose in your neck and sighing. You’re sitting pretty in a bikini top and jean shorts, and he plays with the tie at your back.
You laugh and push him off, getting up to get your basket of food. He helps you unload it, mouthing a silent yes as he pulls out the sodas. Then comes the tupperware, and he sticks two spoons into the corn. “Cheers.” He holds his out.
You tap your spoon against his, and gasp in fake shock when he knocks the food of it.
“Gotta be ready, babe,” he deadpans, snatching up your bite after he eats his. “Danger is waiting at every turn.”
You shake your head and laugh, scooting the tupperware closer to yourself. “You’re so weird.”
“You love it,” He grins, and you can’t argue with that.
After you eat, JJ pulls out the package of hotdogs and starts to prep the rods.
“There’s no way you can catch fish with those,” you question, wrinkling your nose at them. You frown, turning on the puppy-dog eyes. “Do we have to fish? I wanna smoke.”
He copies your expression and sticks his bottom lip out. “Poor bunny,” he mocks, but shoves your fishing pole in your hand all the same. “Catch a fish, I’ll roll you a joint, ‘kay?”
You sigh. “ ‘Kay,”
He grins and plants a kiss on your forehead. “You got it, babe.” He gives you a chunk of hotdog and you slip it onto the hook. JJ comes up behind you to guide your cast and you let him, his breath warm on the back of your neck. There’s the whir of the line, and the satisfying plop of the bobber in the water.
“Now, we wait.” He takes the rod from you and drops it into the holder, and works on casting his own line.
You’re bored before he even puts his down. “I have to catch a fish before we smoke?”
“Yeah, crybaby.” The two of you sit on the bow, feet dangling over the water. His ankle knocks against yours.
You let out another dramatic sigh, but you let your head fall onto his shoulder. “This is the worst part. I hate waiting.”
JJ laughs. “Yeah, honey. I am well aware.” He pokes your side, and you yelp dramatically. Reaching over you, he pulls the speaker out of your basket, and turns it on. You watch as he connects to it and goes through his spotify, thumb skimming over the screen as he looks through his playlists. JJ clicks on one of your collaborative playlists, titled “songs for slow dancing.”
He stands up, reaching out to pull you up as the hauntingly pretty piano intro for Aretha Franklin’s Daydreaming begins to play. “Wanna kill some time?”
You smile, and let him pull you into him. You think you could slow dance with him until you dropped dead, until you collapsed into each other and turned into intertwined fossils. Maybe that kind of thing is a little too poetic for the two of you, but you don’t really care. He starts to sing along, and you press your ear to his chest to hear his voice thrum through his chest.
daydreaming and i’m thinking of you, daydreaming and i’m thinking of you…
One of his hands splays on the small of your back, fingertips sneaked under the waist of your shorts, callused and all too soft. The other one is holding yours as you sway back and forth to the beat.He twirls you out fast, and back into his grip, your back to his chest as he squeezes you.
No one would ever know it, but JJ absolutely loves to dance. A little after you started dating, you dragged him to some swing dancing classes at the community center, and expected plenty of pushback, but you were met with absolutely none. The two of you fell in love stepping on each others toes and falling all over each other. It’s always a fun party trick to pull out at the fancier parties. He’s always wanting to dance with you, whether it’s learning how to shag in the living room late at night, or spinning you around on the boat.
He stops you mid-step, asking, “Can we try the dirty-dancing jump?”
The dirty-dancing jump has only been successfully executed by the two of you once. All other times have ended in someone being injured (usually JJ). Your jaw drops open, and you lightly shove him. “Absolutely not! You wanna fall off the boat?”
He gives you the biggest eyeroll, but immediately switches to puppy dog eyes when you cross your arms. “Just like, a lift? Pleaseeeee,” he drags out, taking your hands and acting like he’s going limp.
“Fine! But if you drop me in this water, I’m actually going to have serious beef with you, Maybank.”
He laughs, maybe an itty-bit manaically, and grabs your waist. “Okay, I’m gonna count you off, and you’ll jump, ‘kay? So, one, two, three-”
You hear your fishing rod rattle in its holder and jump away from him. “My line!” Scrambling after it, you grab the pole right as it looks like it’s going to leap out of its holster.
“Get it babe!” JJ practically shouts, darting behind you and placing his arms around yours to give you a little support.
The whir of the line rushing out makes you jump, and you hurry to start reeling it back in, furiously turning the handle. JJ’s mouth is by your ear as you lean into him and he talks you up as you fight the fish. “Come on, baby, you got it. Keep going, keep going, you almost got it!”
He’s pulling half the weight, you know that, but you don’t mind the help when you can watch the cords in his forearms tense and pull.
Finally, the line leaps out of the water, and soon a big scaly body is flopping on the deck of the boat. “Atta girl!” JJ shouts as you snatch it up by the lure, holding it up proudly. It’s pretty heavy, probably a little over 14 pounds.
“Look at that, baby! Got yourself a bluefish.” JJ is smiling so proudly as he fishes out his phone, and makes you pose for a picture like one of those Tinder frat guys. The flash is harsh and you know you look crazy, but he grins at the picture all the same.
“Can you throw him back in? He’s too pretty to eat,” you ask as he messes with something on his phone. You’re still holding the fish as you try to lean over and see what he’s doing.
“Here, yeah.” He drops his phone on the boat deck and takes the fish from you to fling back in. When you look at his phone, you see your face staring back up at you from his lockscreen. It was some picture of the two of you from a party, but now it’s you and your fish. He immediately changed his wallpaper after he took the picture. In your opinion, it’s definitely not a knockout photo, but you almost tear up at the sweetness of it.
“You looked cute,” JJ shrugs, seeing you looking at it.
You just smile, shaking your head, and lean against him. “Can we get high now?”
“Damn, you waste no time, huh?”
Soon, your fishing rods forgotten, you’re watching JJ roll you a joint to share. His fingers dance along the rolling paper, tucking and smoothing all gentle. He’s mesmerizing. When his tongue darts out to wet the paper, you swear you start salivating.
He catches you staring, hitting you with that heartbreaker grin again. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
“Shut up and light up,” you sigh, reaching for the blunt in his hands.
“Can’t light up if you don’t hand me my lighter,” JJ frowns, expression sarcastic. He puts his hand out, waiting.
You reach into your basket and pull it out, smiling when you see it. A few months ago, you had decided to buy JJ a custom lighter. You got him one off Etsy, a cheap Bic lighter with your face printed on the plastic. Of course, the image didn’t translate correctly, so the picture is heavily distorted, your smile big and wide and eyes even bigger.
It’s probably his favorite possession.
He lights the joint, letting it smoke for a second before raising it to his lips.
“Hey,” you whine, reaching for his hand.
“So needy,” he chides, taking a hit, gripping you by your neck, and blowing the smoke into your open mouth. Your breath hitches as you try your best to inhale, try to not think about his lips just ghosting over yours, his calloused fingers hard on the sides of your neck.
“Good girl,” he exhales as you successfully breathe in without hacking up your lungs.
The frogs are peeping and the wind is slow and soft, pushing the smoke around the two of you and enveloping you in it. You’re talking mindlessly as the joint passes between you, staring at the way moonlight shines through JJ’s hair, turning it platinum. His irises catch the light just right- bright, icy blue.
You’re sitting cross-legged, knees knocking with his. All you can think about his how much you love your boyfriend, even with the edges of your mind soft and your senses fuzzy. JJ takes your hand, pressing the pads of your fingertips against his.
“It’s like I can feel your fingerprints,” he comments, fingertips lightly rubbing yours. He pulls your hand as he leans back, so you’re both on your back, looking at the stars.
“It’s so pretty,” you whisper in awe. With absolutely zero light pollution, the sky is a myriad of deep black and blue hues and so, so many stars. You’d decompose while trying to count them all. You snuggle up against J as he takes a final hit. From your perspective, the rising smoke almost looks like it’s weaving through the stars, netting around them and sparkling right above your head. JJ tosses the remnant of the joint into your grocery bag of trash.
“C’mere,” he sighs, propping himself up and running a hand down your torso. When he kisses you, he tastes like smoke and sweat, and a wave of heat rushes through you just from the taste. You’re pulling him on top of you by the loops of his cargo shorts, pressing yourself against the firm plane of his abdomen.
“God, you’re needy,” he laughs, pinning your hips down with a heavy hand.
“You made me this way,” you squirm, and it’s true. He’s too generous with his touches and too sugary with his words, and you chase him like he’s a hit of the purest cocaine.
He shifts on top of you, a knee between your thighs just like you like it. He presses his knee up just to see you gasp and grind down on him. JJ’s laugh is a little mean as snaps the waistband of your shorts. “Okay, honey, what do you want?”
There’s no shame in your voice as you blurt out, “Fuck me.” You’re whining out a plea before he can even answer, with no care that you’re out in the open… no care that the cops patrol at night.
JJ fakes shock, but the hardness of him against you gives him away. “You wanna get fucked, huh. Out in the open?”
“Don’t act like this wasn’t your whole plan, smartass,” you counter as he pins your hands down right above your head.
He just laughs in response. “Dirty, dirty, dirty,” he tuts rebukingly, but he’s pulling apart the tie of your swimsuit top all the same.
as always, likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!!
#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks#jj maybank#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank blurb#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank smut
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Let me take care of you
pairings: Levi Ackerman x reader
genre: fluff and smut
summary: It has been a few months since the war ended, and peace has brought a lot of change along with it. Physical and mental scars surround both of you, so you decide to show Levi just how much you love him.
note: This is my first time when it comes to branching out and writing smut, so apologies if it's not the best!
word count: 2,245
ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55780150
You watch as Levi enters your shared room, he places his cane on his side of the bed before moving towards the mirror. You’re peacefully stretched out across your side, having been waiting for him to finish his book and join you for the evening. Ever since the war ended, he had gradually been getting used to at least attempting to rest for the night and even though the nightmares persist, no longer being on high alert at all times has since helped.
Your eyes are locked onto him as he slowly removes his shirt, a fresh one already waiting for him on the nightstand nearby as he starts getting ready for bed.
You take the chance to slowly drag your eyes across his revealed flesh, your gaze trailing over the firm muscles of his back, flexing with each little movement. Your gaze shifts to run across the myriad of scars littering his pale skin, the silver ones glittering in the overhead light while the darker, larger ones sit proudly upon their owner's back. You love tracing his scars, mapping out the constellation while he slowly dozes off, lulled by your soft touch. Back when you were scouts, it was almost the only way to guarantee he would sleep, especially for longer than his usual three hours.
"I can see you gawking, you know." His voice breaks you out of your memory and you look up to meet his eyes in the mirror. His eyebrow is raised and you can see the gleam of amusement that he tries to hide within his eyes.
"It's not gawking, it's called appreciating." You reply, your voice is light, knowing where his mind will take him. A small grumble from the man confirms your suspicions.
"Yeah right, what's there to appreciate?" Levi gestures to himself, fixing you with an unimpressed look that you are happy to return. You feel your heart clench at the rare moment of insecurity on display. You watch through the mirror as his eyes flick over to the scar sitting along the right side of his face before dropping to rest on his still-bandaged hand, despite the injury having been long since healed.
You gingerly reach out your hand, beckoning for him to sit beside you. He reluctantly complies, letting out a small sigh before sitting down on the plush bed.
You gently take his damaged hand in yours, peppering a dozen kisses across the top of it. You only stop when his hand moves to cup your jaw, his eyes are tender and you can see the unwavering adoration within their silver depths.
"Levi, you're beautiful and no, don't give me that look, you are." You bring a spare hand to brush the silky strands of hair out of his face, tucking a few of the longer ones behind his ear and catching his attention again.
"You're still the same man I fell in love with all those years ago, a few extra injuries haven't and won't change that. We both survived, despite everything that’s happened we’re still here and that's all I could ask for."
You lean closer to him, searching his eyes for acceptance and when he gives a small nod, you bring your lips together in a sweet kiss. You feel him shuffle to be able to place a hand on your waist, the other coming up to thread through your hair as he kisses you back, just as fervently.
You feel his lips desperately move against yours, savouring the moment in his usual impatient style before he deepens the kiss. You feel his tongue enter you, meeting with your own and you struggle to hold back the moan as you grip onto his bicep to calm the frantic beating of your heart. He lets out a hum of his own, the sound echoing in your mind as you lose yourself to the sensations of your shared desire.
You try to control your breathing as you explore him with your tongue, despite having done it so many times before. He tastes like his own unique blend of tea, a common occurrence for him after you had purchased a small collection of herbs he could use to make his own unique flavour. Your grip on his arm tightens as he gently nips on your lower lip, earning a small groan from you. You hold onto one another desperately as you push your bodies closer together, your kiss growing more and more frantic and the mental dam finally breaks, months of stress leaving you wanting nothing more than one another.
You run your hands up his arms until you can hook them behind his head, letting your fingers dance along the velvet hairs of his undercut while you melt in his hold, giving all control over to him as he continues to greedily brush his tongue against yours. He drinks in your hunger, fueling his own desire.
Remembering that you both require oxygen, you pull apart from each other with a small sigh. Levi brings his hand up to gently brush his thumb against your bruised lips, staring at you in dazed wonder. His touch is electric, sending shivers up and down your body as you gaze at him through half-lidded eyes.
“What was that for?” His voice is slightly breathy and you can feel his fingers continue to play with the strands of your hair.
“I just want to show you how much I love you.” You try to meet his eyes, for once not willing to back down from his intense gaze, only for him to be the one to break eye contact first.
“You show me that every day when you remain by my side…” Levi’s voice is a whisper, yet you hear him as clear as day. The thought of leaving his side had never once crossed your mind, not when you were both younger, still learning about the ever-changing threats awaiting you and certainly not now those threats are long gone. You have both earned this peace and you are sure as hell going to enjoy it.
You gently shake your head, clearing your thoughts as you move forward to place small kisses along his jaw, “I know, but let me take care of you tonight, hmm?”
You don’t get to hear his reply, the words caught in his throat when you move lower, leaving a wet trail of kisses down his neck and across his chest. You trace the chiselled plains of his chest with your slender hand while your mouth follows closely behind. You smirk when you feel his stomach flex once your hand reaches the waistband of his trousers. His grey eyes follow your every movement as you lower yourself on the ground before him, parting his legs to give you more space.
His eyes burn into you when you lift your gaze to search his and you have to bite back a grin once you spot the way his ears flush, now hellbent on making sure his flustered state grows even more. You carefully undo the clasp holding the dark material together before dragging them off his body at a painfully slow rate, revelling in the way he lets out a frustrated grunt. You can feel him stare you down, his gaze heavy on you, but you are far too distracted by the tent forming in his boxers.
When you look at him once more, he quirks an eyebrow, whatever bout of insecurity he might have had has since faded, replaced with pure desire and control as he watches you like a hawk. You instead turn your head, kissing along his inner thigh and smirking when you feel him tense under your light touches. His skin is hot beneath your lips and you leave a trail of goosebumps behind with each kiss, Levi lets out a small hiss when you nip at the tender flesh before smoothing it over with your tongue.
Having enough of your slow admiration of his alabaster flesh, now painted with delicate love bites, you feel his hand cup your jaw and raise your head once more. His eyes are dark as he brushes your lips again, but this time you feel his finger part your lips with a knowing look. Your tongue wraps around his finger, not once averting your eyes as you continue to suck on his finger while Levi does his best to bite back a groan.
“Gods…” His voice comes out strained as he tries to hold back, trying to hold onto what little control he has left. He swallows roughly, anticipation flowing through him as he grips the sheets below with his other hand.
He watches you carefully while you continue your advancement up his thigh with your deft fingers, coming to palm at his clothed erection, his chest is rising and falling heavily and he quickly removes his fingers from your mouth before rushing to remove the annoying material currently in your way. His stiff cock springs free, precum glistening along his tip, and you waste no time.
You place another tender kiss on his tip before swirling your tongue around it and licking small stripes along the slit, drawing a long groan out of him. With a small giggle, one which earns you an exasperated eye roll, you move to the base of his shaft, slowly dragging your tongue up along it before parting your lips and finally guiding his cock into your mouth. You hear a sharp hiss from above as Levi’s hand comes to rest on your head, his fingers are tense as he tangles them in your hair.
You happily bob your head, swirling your tongue around his shaft before following the veins of his flesh with the tip of your tongue, rewarding you with a chorus of swears erupting from Levi’s lips. You then swap to flatten your tongue against him, sinking him deeper into your throat with each thrust of your head until you can feel the tip pressing against the back of your throat. You glide your hands over his thighs and up towards his hips, holding them in place when you feel his composure begin to slip.
“F-fuck, don’t stop,” he moans your name, the sound broken by his harsh panting as he rolls his head back, struggling to stay upright as you continue to work on him.
You give a small hum in response which earns you an even deeper moan as the vibrations help to overstimulate him, you pull your head back when you feel his hips begin to twitch, the fingers in your hair tightening. More swears spill from him when you descend once more, your tongue working him more and more until his breathing is nothing more than frantic gasps.
“Shit,” Your name is consumed by a shuddered groan, bringing a devilish smirk to your busy lips, “I’m gonna…”
Levi brings a fist to his mouth, biting down on it to stifle his frenzy of shudders as he comes, the thick liquid running down your throat as you swallow around him. You release him with a small pop, taking a different form of pleasure from the state you’ve left him in. He collapses onto his back and pants heavily with one arm draped over his fully flushed face. You watch his chest rise and fall while you wipe your mouth before crawling over the bed to lie beside him.
He doesn’t hesitate to roll over and pull you into his arms, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck while he recovers from your onslaught. After a small time spent within his embrace, the two of you existing as one, he lifts his head to look down at you and you can spot the small rosy hue still decorating his cheeks.
“That’s not what I was expecting tonight.” His deadpan voice brings a bubble of laughter out of you and you shift positions, turning to have your back pressed against his warm chest, your head resting against his arm that’s now being used as your makeshift pillow. You feel his other arm wrap around your waist, holding you tightly, as if you would float away should he let go and snap him out of a dream. You give his forearm a light squeeze before rubbing small circles into his skin.
“You should know by now, I’m full of surprises.”
You’re not sure if it was even possible for his features to soften more than before, yet he always finds a way to prove you wrong. He looks at you as if you’re his world and you’re certain both of you wouldn’t mind if you could just hide away together, alone within your private little sanctuary of linen and silk, safe from the ghosts following you.
His voice, now laced with pleasant exhaustion, causes your lips to twitch with a content smile, “I’ll make it up to you.”
He lets out a small yawn and you feel him place a soft kiss on the top of your head, shifting slightly to regain feeling in his arm that is still being used in favour of the dozens of pillows you had argued were necessary. A calm, sleepy silence fills the room and you feel him drift off behind you, his breathing coming out in slow and steady puffs against your neck. You feel your own eyes grow heavy, the warm emitting from his body helping to lull you off into your own slumber.
#♥. writing#♥. spice#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman#levi x reader#aot x reader#levi ackerman x you#captain levi#aot levi#captain levi x reader#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#aot#snk
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Only an Almost (IX)
Chapter 9: Testing Feelings
Hello!! Here is another chapter! Will Sam’s plan work???
Hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!!
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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU
Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!
Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.
Word Count : 2163
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist
On paper, Sam’s plan sounded both brilliant and simple.
This night out with your friends did sound, indeed, like the perfect place to make you jealous.
Andrew had spent most of the evening with his friends, including you. You looked ethereal tonight, he wasn’t sure how you did this, how you could always make his heart skip beats by the mere sight of you. Perhaps, if he knew how, he would ask you to stop.
The group was now splitting into tinier cells, some levitating around a game of pool, others chilling by the bar, while some where still lost in conversation by the table around which you had gathered at first. You were off to get another drink. Sam leaned closer to Andrew, the two of them having remained sitting in the booth.
“The brunette over there is staring at you.”
Andrew frowned, before turning around to take a look, trying to spot the person his friend was talking about. It was easy to notice her, indeed. When Andrew locked eyes with hers, she didn’t look away, only threw him a flirtatious smile. He was the one to turn back to his friend with a blush.
“Sam… I don’t know if I should…”
“Ha! No! Don’t back down, now! We’ve talked about this, and this is the best plan we have. So, get out there, flirt with her, and see what happens with Y/N. This woman is perfect! She’s beautiful, and very clearly interested in you. So, don’t make her wait.”
But Andrew made the ice-cube of his whiskey twirl, and didn’t stand up.
“What are you thinking about?” asked Sam, who knew his friend a little too well.
Andrew swallowed back the lump in his throat, before answering in a whisper, still staring at the brown liquid in his hand.
“What if she doesn’t care? What if she doesn’t give two shites about me flirting with another woman? Do I really want to know the answer to that question?”
Sam rested a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder, squeezed for a few seconds.
“No, you don’t,” he answered earnestly, making Andrew look up again. “But you need to. You need to, Andy. Trust me.”
Andrew finally nodded, emptied his drink, and finally got up. He gave the woman a timid smile as he approached her. She was sitting at the bar, alone. She was pretty. In another life, he could have fallen for someone like her. But in this one, you were filling all of his heart already.
“Hi,” he spoke quietly, his voice deep and warm although a little hesitant. “Sorry to bother you, and feel free to say no if you don’t feel like it but… can I buy a drink, by any chance?”
She raised a playful eyebrow.
“I don’t even know your name,” she fought back, and he liked the way she smiled with mischief all over her features.
“Andrew. The name’s Andrew. And you are?”
“Marissa.”
“Lovely name.”
“Yours is pretty basic, but it’ll do.”
He couldn’t help but genuinely laugh at that.
“Hey, it gets the job done. You say it, and I come running.”
“And why did you come to me? I wasn’t calling your name.”
“Hmm… no, you weren’t. But according to my friend over there, you’ve been staring. Which is highly impolite. So, I thought I should buy a drink.”
“If I was impolite, shouldn’t I be the one buying you a drink?”
“You can buy round two and three, so we’re even.”
She laughed, and the sound was lovely. All Andrew noticed was that you were bringing drinks back to the table. You frowned, looked around. And then you saw him, and frowned some more, as if you had been searching for him, but were surprised to find him there, with someone else.
As he focused on Marissa again, Andrew could think of nothing but you.
“Well, you should buy me that drink, then, so I can quickly repay my debt,” Marissa answered, and Andrew ordered another whiskey.
You were looking at him and Marissa, Andrew wondered if his plan was working.
Daphne and Sam and the rest of the gang were somewhere else, lost in the dim lights and crowds of the busy pub. He was discreetly looking at you over there, standing near the table where some of your friends were gathered. Others were playing pool, some were simply scattered around the place. But everyone was lost in conversation… except for you. You were standing there, staring at him, with an unreadable expression on your face.
Did it hurt, to see him flirt with another woman?
Marissa rested her hand on his forearm. He didn’t feel anything at the touch, but he let her anyway. He even leaned a little closer, for good measure, staring at her dark eyes again. She was beautiful. You were all he could think about…
“When is this wedding then?” she asked, the tone one of conversation, but there was something syrupy in her voice that was meant to lure him in.
“In about four months now! Time flies.”
“Have you decided who you’ll go to the party with?”
He laughed, a little too loudly, just to show you that he was having fun. That he could laugh without you. That he didn’t need you.
He was lying through his teeth.
“Not yet,” he answered while staring right into this stranger’s eyes, making his voice a little deeper than usual on purpose. “Do you have suggestions?”
“I mean… I can think of a possibility… depending on what happens between then and now.”
She held up her open palm, and Andrew knew to place his phone in her hand. She entered her phone number.
“I have to go for tonight, but I hope you’ll call me soon,” she said, handing him back his phone, and her smile was tempting enough to melt a glacier.
Andrew nodded, gave her a wink. She moved closer to kiss his cheek, and he let her, bending a little to offer his skin to her lips. They were warm and soft, he could feel her lipstick on them. He wondered if you were still looking.
She gave him another warm smile; and he returned the gesture, bid her a goodnight and a safe trip home.
He didn’t look at you again, instead he grabbed his glass of whiskey, and downed the burning liquid. He turned towards the bartender and asked for a refill. He recognized your footsteps behind him, and he thought you would stop by his side, but you didn’t. You made a beeline for the bathroom instead, and his heart leapt in disappointment.
“Andy! Get your arse over here!” Alex shouted from somewhere behind him. “I need your word for a story! Daphne won’t believe me!”
Andrew shook his head, a fond and amused smile on his lips as he turned to his friends, taking his new drink with him. He kept an eye on the door to the bathroom while he joked with Alex.
“I was sick,” Andrew defended himself.
“We were thirty minutes before a show, when this guy just gives us the most cringy sound I’ve ever heard. Somewhere between a prepubescent getting hit in the balls and a dying pig.”
“I had the flu, and was completely stoned on steroids to keep my voice somehow functioning.”
“Excuses, excuses! He got us all panicking, thinking he wouldn’t be able to perform.”
“And I did!”
“How professional…”
“Thanks, Alex…”
“… to perform while higher than a fucking boeing!”
Andrew playfully rolled his eyes, making everybody laugh.
He caught a glimpse of your jacket as you hurried from the bathroom to the door of the pub.
“Ha… Y/N’s calling?”
“Fuck off,” he merely answered his bass player, making Alex chuckle.
“You’d better hurry before she leaves you behind.”
Andrew didn’t answer and merely followed his friend’s advice, emptying his drink before leaving the glass discarded on the nearest table.
You were pacing a few meters away from the entrance of the bar when Andrew stepped outside.
You froze as you noticed him.
“Y/N? You’re okay?”
You blinked at him, like a deer caught in headlights.
“Yeah,” you breathed.
You looked paler than usual, your eyes were a little red. He wasn’t sure if it was due to fatigue or tears.
“Are you sick? You want to go home?”
You hesitated, but finally nodded.
“Yeah, I… I think I’m gonna head home. I’m tired and… I had a bit too much to drink.”
“Give me a sec, I’ll grab my coat.”
“I’ll call a uber. Anyway… you’re not sober either, you can’t drive, Andy…”
“It’s almost one in the morning. It’s late, let me take you home, okay?”
“I… I’d rather you don’t.”
Andrew narrowed his eyes at you.
Did it mean that his plan was working? That you were jealous?
“Why not? Did I do something wrong?” he asked, feigning innocence.
You took a couple of seconds to answer, your expression still unreadable.
“No… no, you didn’t. But I don’t want you to accompany me. I don’t need your help.”
He was taken aback by your answer, by how much it hurt to hear those words coming out of your mouth.
“I just… I was just trying to be helpful.”
“You seemed busy enough tonight… Don’t you have someone else to go home with?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Are you jealous?” he asked, trying to hide how impatient he was, how he hoped for the answer to be a yes.
You scoffed, hands coming up to rest on your hips.
“Don’t be ridiculous, we’re not dating! You can sleep with whoever you want.”
“You’re jealous,” and this time it was more of a statement than a question.
“I’m not! We’re not dating! We’re not exclusive! If you want to have fun with… whoever that was, then go ahead! Have fun!”
“We just flirted, nothing serious.”
“You got her number, that’s a win!”
You hesitated for a moment, but asked the question on the tip of your tongue anyway.
“What’s her name?”
“Marissa,” he answered, and you looked away as he spoke her name.
There was a tug to his heart… it came from both satisfaction and guilt.
“You know… we can make a rule about that,” he offered.
“About what?”
“About… the arrangement stopping if we want to sleep with someone else.”
You scoffed again, your arms moving once more, this time to cross before your chest.
“What makes you think you’re the only person I’ve slept with these past couple of months?”
You flinched when his face fell.
“Have you? Slept with other people while we…?”
The question remained suspended in mid-air, and Andrew tried to blink away the stupor and the pain that came with your words. There was no air left in his lungs, like a punch in the guts…
“No… no, I haven’t,” you admitted. “Have you?”
“No, I haven’t.”
You’re the only one I want, he wanted to add, but he didn’t want to spoil it all by saying something so stupid.
You remained silent, and so Andrew pulled out his phone and got a uber for you.
“Can you text me when you’re home? Please? Just to make sure you’re alright,” he insisted, and you easily yielded.
It took you a couple of minutes to walk closer to him again. He was surprised when you took his hand. He ran his calloused fingertips across your soft knuckles a couple of times before interlacing your fingers together.
“Can we… can we add that rule of yours? We stop our arrangement when we meet someone else?” you asked, fleeing his gaze.
“Okay, let’s do that.”
“So… are we going to stop our… arrangement? Are you going to see Marissa again?”
You didn’t see his reassuring smile, you were looking at the curb instead.
“No… no, I don’t think I want to see her again.”
You finally looked up at him.
“You’re sure?” you asked, but Andrew’s smile grew more tender as he nodded, and he let his free hand move upwards to rest on your cheek.
“I’d rather have you,” he confessed in a whisper, voice deep and sweet. He noticed how you leaned into his touch.
He wanted to kiss you, he wondered if you would let him… but then there was a car coming, and you took a step back as the headlights illuminated your frame while they came closer, like a halo around something divine.
“Goodnight, Andy,” your voice was soft and tender as you spoke, and he guessed that your words meant more than their usual meaning.
He gave you the most loving smile.
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
He watched as you disappeared in the car, waited as the engines roared a couple of seconds before the vehicle started to move, stared as the car drove away.
He smiled.
You were jealous. You wanted him to have no one else. It meant that you cared. You cared. You fucking cared…
#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#the hoziest#hozier x reader#hozier x you#hozier x y/n#hozier x fem!reader#hozier fanfiction#hozier series#fanfiction#fanfic#writing#series
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Blessed
~Blessed by Thomas Rhett~
Author's Note: been a long week and a lack of creativity but here's some nate magic
Summary: Y/N travels to Dallas for game one
Warnings: none
Word Count: 2,230
Nathan Mackinnon x fm!reader
It was late and she tried to stay awake. It was well past two in the morning and it was becoming harder and harder to stay awake. She was ready, waiting in her scarlett red lingerie. She sprawled out onto the bed in different poses, trying to show off the new lingerie she had bought.
But as the minutes ticked by, it was starting to get harder and harder to stay awake. She had fallen asleep between two-thirty and three-thirty, she wasn’t sure. “Baby,” she heard a voice, she jolted awake panickly looking around for only a second before she met Nate’s gaze. He had a wide smile on his lips as he rested his hand onto her waist. “This new?” he asked as he slowly trailed his fingertips up her side.
“It was,” she whispered as she leaned backwards, leaning her body against the headboard, “I bought it for when you made it to the second round,” she mumbled. He chuckle shyly as he tossed his hoodie from his frame. He quickly climbed on top of her, hovering over her frame.
“And how did you know we would make it?” he asked as he bumped his nose against hers. She giggled as she leaned her head back.
“Because I know you Nathan Mackinnon,” she mumbled as she ran her fingers through the ends of his hair. He rolled his eyes as he leaned down and kissed her delicately.
“You know me?” he whispered against her lips before he kissed her again. She hummed against his lips. She pulled away, putting her hand against her lips. He furrowed his eyebrows harshly, “Are you alright?” he asked.
“I just have to get used to this again,” she mumbled as she slowly ran her thumb across his jawline. The playoff beard already long and only going to get longer. He chuckled as he tilted his head to the side, showing the beard off. “I do like it,” she mumbled as she continued running her thumb across the scruff of beard.
“Maybe I should start growing it out more,” he mumbled as he took a hold of her hand, kissing her fingertips.
“Yes, you should,” she let out confidently as she pulled him towards her, kissing him urgently. “And so I can stop getting acne around my mouth because of this thing,” she said as she took a hold of his chin. He chuckled before he kissed her urgently again.
~one week later~
It was announced Sunday night that the Avs would be facing the Stars. Which was a huge deal for Y/N because she was from Dallas. Her entire family were huge Stars fans, they had season tickets and everything. Y/N had a few Stars gear saved but over the years it was replaced by Avalanche gear and his jerseys.
Her family brought up the idea that she spent a few days in Dallas to visit her family and to watch Nate. She didn’t hesitate to say yes.
“Did you give it any more thought on traveling to Dallas?” Nate asked as he stepped out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. She looked his toned frame up and down and felt her cheeks flush.
“N-no, I’ve got a lot of stuff on my plate at work right now, Love. But the girls and I will be watching,” she mumbled as she stood up from the bed. She wandered towards him, delicately resting her hand onto his bicep. He pouted his lips as he tilted his head back. He looked down towards her, clenching his jaw slightly.
“I was kinda excited that there was going to be at least one Y/L/N in the building rooting for me,” he let out while licking his lips. She rolled her eyes as she smiled.
“You know, my mom will be wearing your jersey with a Stars hat so there’s that,” she offered as she continued running her hand slowly up and down his arm.
“Your little brother has an Oettinger jersey so there’s that,” he mumbled a toothy grin on his lips. “At least he’ll have twenty-nine on his jersey,” he tightened his grip around her waist, pulling her towards him.
“We’ll all be at Landy’s house cheering you guys on,” she mumbled, puckering her lips forward. He smirked before he leaned towards her kissing her gently.
“I gotta go finish getting ready,” he whispered against her lips. She gently rested her hand against his cheek, running her fingers across the scruff of the beard on his face.
“How much time do we have before we reach your almost late for the plane time?” she met his gaze, raising her eyebrow. He rolled his eyes before he took a hold of her head with both of his hands. He pulled her towards him, kissing her urgently.
“Maybe twenty minutes,” he whispered against her lips, He guided her towards the mattress. “I need you,” he muttered.
“Do you now?” she mumbled, he hummed against her lips.
~~~
The plane ride Tuesday morning was filled with Avs fans. It was loud and rowdy well before the game even started. The flight was at eight in the morning and lot more excited than she was. It was too early in the morning for her to fully process that she was even awake.
She texted with Nate early in the morning about how she would be stuck in the office all day and wouldn’t be able to talk until before his game. There have been many days where work would be too much to handle and she wouldn’t be able to talk to him. He understood and went about his business.
This time she was only thirty minutes from landing in Dallas to visit her family and support her fiance. She was getting giddy and quite literally was bouncing up and down without realizing it.
The older gentlemen beside her delicately tapped his hand against her arm. Her eyes widened as she pulled the headphone away from her ear. He smiled widely. “Don’t mean to pry but you seem like you’re actually vibrating,”
Y/N chuckled nervously, “I-uh I’m visiting family,” she let out. He nodded suspiciously. “And I’m surprising my fiance,” she mumbled.
“Does your fiance live in Dallas?” he asked. She shook her head. His eyes widened as he glanced down towards his Avs jacket. “Does he play for the Avs?” he pressed further. She smiled ass he felt her cheeks flush. She pulled her phone from her pocket and flashed her phone screen towards the gentleman. “Nathan Mackinnon?” he asked excitedly.
“Yeah, we’ve been together since we we’re twenty,” she mumbled.
“He’s a lucky guy,” he muttered nudging her arm teasingly. She smiled awkwardly.
Her flight landed after another thirty minutes and she was manuvering through the airport in search of her family. It had been almost a year since she’s seen them. It was crowded but she could spot her family in a crowded room in a second.
Her little brother, who was not so little anymore, poked above the crowd at six foot five. She giggled as she excitedly jogged over to the four of them. “My older sister! Wow, I didn’t know I had one of those still,” Jason, her little brother, said as he hugged Y/N. She rolled her eyes dramatically as she squeezed her arms tightly around him.
“Oh shut it,” she said as she shoved him backwards. He rolled his eyes as he smiled widely. She quickly hugged her younger sister, Bethany.
“Damn, girl, look at you,” Bethany said as she dramatically looked her sister up and down. Y/N rolled her eyes as she hugged her sister once more. Y/N pulled away and walked towards her parents.
Her mother smiled widely as she began unzipping her coat. “Look what I got made!” she said excitedly. Y/N eyes widened as her mother took the whole coat off to reveal a shirt. It was green on the front and maroon on the back.
The white words across the front read Go Stars Go but… she quickly spun around to show the maroon on the back with white words read my future son-in-law is Nate Dogg. Y/N’s eyes widened as she let out a loud laugh.
“Oh please tell you showed this to Nate,” Y/N let out while shaking her head. She spun around and met Y/N’s gaze and nodded. “How did he react to that?” she asked as all five of them started walking out of the airport.
“He said he liked it and said that he wants all of us to have our own versions,” she offered. Y/N rolled her eyes dramatically.
“What did he really say?” she asked.
“He laughed and asked if it was real,” she mumbled.
~~~
They were sitting in their seats in the lower bowl. Her brother and sister beside her. Her brother was wearing his Jake Oettinger jersey and her sister was wearing a Stars hoodie. Y/N was wearing her WAGs jacket with Mackinnon on the back. Her mother was wearing her new shirt and her father was wearing his own Oettinger jersey.
The game was going exactly as Stars fans were hoping it would. The last two minutes in the first and the Stars were up by three to nothing. “I’m sorry, sis, looks like it’s going to be a rough one for ya,” her brother said as they watched a puck drop in the Avs offensive zone.
Y/N smirked as she watched Nate whisper something to Cale. “Yeah, looks that way,” she mumbled as she watched Nate win the draw. The first period slowly came to an end and the Avs quickly skated off of the ice.
“What were they doing out there?” her brother asked as he nudged his arm against hers.
“They had eight days off, give them a break,” she mumbled as she brought her soda to her lips.
The intermission seemed to go by fast as the boys were back on the ice. The Avs were playing a lot better, faster, and more aggressive. During the entire second period they outplayed the Stars and began to cut into the deficit with two power play goals. After Cale’s goal, Y/N leaned towards her little brother.
“Yeah rough one,” she teased as she watched Nate skate towards the glass before he leaned down to take the draw. Her brother rolled his head as he leaned his head back as he watched the second period slowly come to an end.
After forty seconds into the third, Nate scores. She jumps into the air cheering. Watching the boys celebrate. Her brother shot up a fist bump, angry that the Avs came back to tie it but happy that it was Nate. Her father was similar. But her sister and her mother excitedly jumped up for the goal. Their seat neighbors were confused until they saw the speciality made WAGs jersey as well as her mother’s shirt.
“That was hot,” her brother mumbled as the game continued. Y/N rolled her eyes playfully.
“You said it,” he let out with a huff of air.
The Avs won in over time and it was one of the greatest goals she has seen them score this season. She jumped in the air and teared up as she watched the entire bench jump onto the ice towards Miles.
It took another hour for Nate to be done with the post game activities with the team for him to visit Y/N’s family. He promised to get dinner with them after the game. He left the locker room with a wide smile when he saw her family. “Hey guys, sorry about the loss,” he said with a teasing smirk. Her father rolled his eyes as he gave Nate a quick hug.
Nate’s eyes widened as he saw Y/N waiting beside her brother. “Shut up,” he let out as he pulled away from her dad and quickly walked towards Y/N engulfing her in a hug. “I thought you couldn’t come,” he mumbled as he lifted her in the air. She giggled.
“Turns out, I’m an excellent liar,” she muttered as pressed her lips against his cheek. “You were amazing,” she mumbled as he pulled away. Keeping his hands on her hips he examined her features.
“This is a new thing now right? Every away game, you’re coming with? I mean with that win, you’re obviously good luck,” he let out as he scanned her features. She rolled her eyes playfully. He turned his head to the side to look towards her mom’s shirt. He laughed out loud as she spun in a circle showing it off. “Wow, it’s real,” he let out laughing. “That’s awesome,” he mumbled.
“Just so they know when I cheer for an Avs goal it’s because of my son-in-law,” she said with a wide smile before she walked towards Nate and gave him a hug. “Come on, let’s get to dinner,” she said as Nate excitedly walked back towards Y/N.
“Woody’s goal? Baby, that was awesome,” Nate let out as he took a hold of her hand. She rolled her eyes.
“Your goal was pretty awesome,” she let out. He nodded as he met her gaze. Gave her a wink before he dragged her closer to him.
#nathan mackinnon#nate mackinnon#nathan mackinnon imagines#nathan mackinnon x reader#nhl imagines#nhl#nhl x reader#nhl fic#hockey#colorado avalanche x reader#colorado avalanche imagines#colorado avalanche
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Just friends? | Matt Rempe x Reader
Warnings: language, that’s it? NOT PROOF READ
Summary: we head to the Ny Rangers game, matt had gotten three penalties and the rangers lost. We head to our little friend days, i accidentally split the way i feel about Matt, he tells me his feelings.
A:N- FIRST REMPE BLURB‼️🚨I’m scared, this is so gonna flop bc he’s like the most hated rookie…
══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══
I’ve known Matt since we were in seventh grade. It’s been nine years of friendship. I’m excited to watch him play as a rookie in THE nhl.
“Are you ready?” Matt asks me, as if I’m the one who’s nervous. This whole time he’s been pacing back and forth, we play the Hurricanes tonight in the playoffs. I’m excited!
“No. I think I’ll just stay here in the hotel and watch you play from here.” I joke with him, he obviously isn’t in the mood to mess around.
I tie his tie and flatten his suit out, I mess with his hair a bit. “Matty?” Ally walks in.
“Hey y/n! Cars running, we’ll have to leave early, we need to grab gas. Unless you are going in early with matt?” Ally, one of Matt’s older sister.
“Oh hey? I didn’t know you were here.” Steph says as she walks in, checking in on my work. “Nice tie. Who tied it?” Steph asks Matt.
“Cool, cool.” Steph says as she looks at Matt’s eyes that trail into mine.
I’ve never seen Matt the way I’ve seen other boys, maybe it’s because I’ve grown up with him, I’ve seen him go through puberty, get girlfriends, and I’ve seen his room. Ally and Steph on the other hand… well they think Matt and I are literally meant to be.
“Cute.” Ally says as she grabs Steph and walk out.
“So we’ll see you y/n, at the seats?” Ally says as she walks down the hallway of Matt’s home. Matt pulls me to his mirror that is hung in his closet door.
“You look comfy.” He said and he rubs my shoulder, he looks down at me. For preference, I am 5”3, and he’s 6”7’. He’s significantly taller than me.
“You’ll do great.” I say and I grab my bag, my phone and apply lipgloss. He stares at me while I tie up my shoes. I’m wearing a blue tank top, and on top I have a leather jacket, I have a Rangers jersey imprinted on the back of the coat. I walk around with white air forces on my feet.
We walk to the car and we pull out of the driveway. We watch Matt’s older sister’s car get smaller as we turn a corner to head towards the rink.
“Radio on?” Matt asks me, I’m sure he’ll want to play our song.
“Sure.”
He throws his phone at me and gives me aux. “no. Play something fun.”
I play Martin & Gina by Polo G.
“No, play our song.”
So I do, I type into his Spotify search Shower by Becky G. “I love this song!” Matt says as he looks over to me. He keeps his eyes on mine.
“Matt!” I yell as he steps on his breaks. He almost ran a kid over. He let the kid cross the street and Matt wanted some coffee so we head to a Caribou.
“You wnat anything?” Matt asks me, and again he stares me down, I see him looking at me like I’m the great Mona Lisa. Or as if I’m the Eiffel Tower.
“No I’m good I’ll just pick up a Dr Pepper at the food court.” I reply. I look into Matt’s eyes, he has a light bruise that stained his under eye from previous fights. I’m sure he’s fired up for playoffs, I’m excited!
~
We get to the rink and he walks in the player enterance and I head for the other side of the building, making it to the front of the building. I enter in just as normal and get my pass out to enter in as family. I understand that I should’ve gone in with Matt, but it felt better to get in early instead of late like the other family do.
I head for our seats and make it to my spot that I always sit in. I can see all the fans walking to the glass, signs are up and pressed against the window. Rempe jerseys everywhere, and family’s sitting at seats waiting for the game to start.
Hype songs start, warmups are coming. I watch Matt walk on the ice. For some reason I felt this wierd park in my stomach. I got wayyy to excited to see him. I actually smiled so big that my cheeks hurt from staring at him.
~
After game
~
The rangers lost. Matt hasn’t walked out of the locker room, and I patiently wait. He was the last one out, the coaches even left before him. The janitors started to come in and clean up. I have to wait for Matt, he’s the one driving me home.
“Matt?” I said when he finally walked out. “What.” Matt says in the grumpiest tone. He didn’t walk out for post game interviews, so I assume that he would do it later.
“Are you okay?” I ask him, I thought I was being kind for asking. He left me on heard. He just took my hand and walked me to his car. He opened my door for me, and threw his hockey gear into the back of his car.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Matt finally answered.
Okay.
“Okay, let’s just go home alright?” I say canceling our plans that we were waiting for, for the last week.
“What!? No!” Matt whines before he backs out of his parking spot. “I wnat to go.” He said as he looks at me.
“Let’s spend time together. Come on. Please? I just had the worst game of my life and you’re just gonna make me feel worse?” He guilt trips me.
“Maybe.” I sarcastically answered as I throw his hands off my thigh. See, moments like this I believe his sister that maybe we could be something. NO! Matt is just a friend, he’s practically been in my life forever. Freinds for 9years and going on, and known eachother since we were 8 years old.
“I’m gonna shower, and you need to change.” Matt says when he pulls into his driveway. His sisters pull in behind us. “Matty!” Steph tells out for him.
“What.” He replied, he sounds the way he did before we left the rink.
“Um. Okay well me and Ally are going to the mall, and we’re going back to school. See you soon okay?” Steph says and she steps back into her car. That’s the last time I’ll see them, well ofcire we still have summer but they’re all the way at college and I’m just here in New York.
~
“Okay should I wear red, or green?” I ask Matt, I men’s his opinion matters, like a lot.
“Im wearing Blue, so you should wear that blue and white outfit you got a while ago.”
“That wasn’t an option.” I reply. I just do as he says and slide in my corset top dress and a value decal lace, the white silk sits on my curves.
“You’re so beautiful.” Matt says as he watches me walk out of the bathroom. My hair is curled, my makeup done and my legs are shaved, I also have the perfect amount of heel that raises my height.
Matt looks me up and down and grabs my hand. We drive down to a cove. We eat some pasta and we grab some dessert at this small shop downtown. “Don’t get anything in that dress!” Matt warns me, I’m eating like a pig.
He’s so sweet. I could talk to him for hours.
After our foodie phase we head to the coast. We drive about an hour just to get to a beach. It was so nice, we sat and stared at the stars, but it felt wrong. I know that we would be good as a couple but, what his sister say all the time teasing him makes me think he likes me. No.
He can’t.
We’re friends.
“How’s life been? Got a hot boyfriend I don’t know about? You just moved up here in New York so how you like?” Matt asks me, he turn his head and leans back onto his forearms. He’s watching me stare into the void. I’m scared to tell him.
No, we’re just friends.
“Nope. Men are stupid. Not you of course, your perfect- your like the only guy I would date!-or well yeah it’s nice up in New York, city is beautiful and the weather is my type.” I answer, I stuttered about all of my try feelings. Shit.
“Well l feeel the same way.” Matt says, I’m sure he heard my little cry of what the hell did I say.
“What.”
“I like you as well y/n. You didn’t notice?”
#jocelynscrazyideas#nhl#hockey#matt rempe x reader#matt rempe#new york rangers#ny rangers#🍇🍇🍇#hockey blurb#nhl fic
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THE NEWS
[BATFAMILY IMAGINE SERIES]
Summary: Bruce and his wife Y/N have something to share with the boys but how would they take it?...
Word count: 1420
Warnings: none?
Bruce Wayne, eccentric billionaire of Gotham city had four sons, three of which were adopted. Y/N Wayne has been his beloved wife for six years now, she had been as good as a mother could be for the boys though they were not her own kin, she did everything for them and didnt hesitate to protect them when needed. Her life revolved around them and all four of them knew that, they adored her just as much as she adored them.
Dick moved out a couple of years ago, Y/N at first was sad since he was the one she had known the longest and he was her first 'son', she understood that he was a grown man now and he needed his own space. Jason switched between the manor and an apartment he owned, sometimes he got homesick which made him feel distressed but he always had the comfort of his 'mother' waiting for him whenever he needed.
Tim had only really just turned seventeen, he was still a child and therefore still in Bruce and Y/N's custody, he has been working hard lately due to him being in college and he's pushing through the darkness of reality to have a successful life. Then there was Damian, he was the baby of the family at the age of fourteen, though he liked to act way older than he really is, being quite mature for his age, he can also be a little broody at times but you know what some say, like father like son, right?
At this point they had all become a big family, perfect but dysfunctional.
"How are we supposed to tell them Bruce? What if they dont take it very well?" Y/N rushed, looking up at her husband who chuckled at her anxious ness.
"Your over thinking it again darling, everything will be perfectly fine. I promise." Bruce slathered an arm around her waist and pulled into his bigger form, rubbing up and down the length of her arm with his other hand.
"Are you sure. Oh what about Damian, I'm sure he wont like this-" Her tone became more distressed as she went on, her hand coming up to rest on her heavy eyes as she let out a shaky breath.
"Dont worry about it Y/N, I'm sure the boys will be delighted. In their own ways." He stated, whispering the last part of the sentence which didnt go unheard by his wife who whined out and hit his chest several times, sending him a glare. "Hey. Everything will be fine."
The woman took a seat on the couch, groaning when she heard the loud thudding sequence of steps that were emitting for the hall. Her elbows came to rest on her knees, body slouching over while her hands held her head up, Bruce sighed lightly and sat beside her, placing and arm around her shoulder in a form of comfort.
"So what'dya wanna talk about Ma'." Jason's voice called out as he entered the room, being followed by the other three boys behind him.
"I-i just..." She wiped her hands down her jeans, looking up at the boys that were watching her nervous movements, Bruce took both of her hands in his and sent her reassuring smile when she glanced his way and nodded slightly. "Well- y-your going to be big brothers."
"W-what?" Dick and Tim squeaked, eyes widening in shock as there mouths fell a gape. They looked at each other and then to the others before facing the adults again, Y/N smiled sheepishly and Bruce arched a brow at them motioning towards the woman who shook in anxious ness.
"Y-your pregnant?" Jason heaved out, a small smile coming to his lips when he looked towards his mother figure.
"Yeah..." Y/N stood up from her place on the couch, along with Bruce who was still trying to comfort her as she was still a little shaky from the nervousness. Her eyes trailed over the boys and fell on Damian who had a neutral look on his face, no emotion present. "D-dami?"
The boy looked at her for split second with squinted eyes before spinning on his heel and rushing out of the room. A hard clutter of footsteps could behead thumping up the stairs, a few seconds later the sound of a door slamming shout could be heard.
"Mum are you-" Tim stepped forwards, looking at the woman with worry in his eyes as he saw the tears start to gather in her own. She shook her head, smiling at him with a sniffle.
She whispered a 'yes' looking back at Bruce momentarily the proceeded to walk away from him, passing the boys to exit the lounge area. Her eyes peered up to the landing, a heavy breath passing her lips when she started to make her way up the stairs.
She hopped up them quickly, strolling down the landing to the end where Damians room was. Her hand rose to the dark oak, hesitation hitting her but she pushed aside the sad feeling that she had felt and knocked on the door three times, hearing shuffling before the door swung open to reveal the small ravenette. Damian held eye contact with the woman intensely, tilting his head to the side. He sighed, rolling his eyes and walked backwards into his room, leaving the door open which was a silent way fo telling her she could enter if she wanted to.
"Dami, i-i never meant to upset you-"
"I'm not upset." He cut her off, turning around to look at her. His blue orbs widened when he saw tears returning to her eyes, a feeling of guilt seeping through the barrier he held. "Al'umu?"
"I'm sorry Damian, really I am." She muttered, wiping her eyes and attempted to send a smile his way but failed immensely when her bottom lip began to tremble, a burn setting in the back of her throat as she tried to hold back the tears.
"Theres nothing to be sorry for Al'umu, I just appear to- to feel jealous." Y/N furrowed her brows in confusion, Damian looked down in shame, falling back to sit on the edge of his bed as he grumbled a few curses under his breath.
"I dont understand." She walked over to his bed and crouched down infront of him, raising a hand to push the pieces of hair away so they disnt block his face. She brushed a finger of his cheek, lifting up his chin so he looked at her. "I need you to know, you can never be replaced Dami. I wont allow that to happen, you'll still always be important just as much as the others and this baby."
"But-"
"No Damian, sure at first the baby will need alot of attention but I wont allow any of you boys to feel left out. Besides, you'll always my baby Wayne, Dame." Y/N stood up, pulling the boy with her, bringing him into het embrace which he accepted right away. She placed a kiss at the top of his head and brought him in closer, chuckling when he snuggled closer.
"Aw- who'da thought Demon was soft." Jason's voice echoed through the room making the two look towards the archway, spotting Jason along with Bruce and the other two boys whi smiled at the sight before them.
"Shut it Todd. Fuck you, I'm not soft." Damian went to pull away from Y/N but was pulled back into the hug, much to his dismay as he didnt want anyone to see him in this 'state'.
"You want a hug too Jay?" She tilted her head with a smirk, letting Damian free from her grasp. Her eyes squinted at the second oldest who frowned and looked at her but ended up nodding walking towards her and encasing her in his arms.
"Group hug!" Dick called out, grabbing Tim's arm and rushed to join the hug. Y/N chuckled reaching an arm out to the side, pulling the two boys in. Damian was now stuck at her side since Dick and Tim were blocking his exit.
"C'mon Bruce." The man scoffed, rolling his eyes playfully before making his way towards the crowding hug. He walked around to the back so his chest was against Y/N's back and he wrapped his arms around the boys, smiling at the moment they are having together at this time.
#batfamily x reader#batfamily#batmom#batboys#gotham#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#x reader#tim drake#bruce wayne#wholesome
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i had sex with a demon!?
incubus!nishimura riki x fem!witch!reader | smut
wc: 2.3k
warnings: incubus!riki, witch!reader, noncon elements, creampie, vaginal fingering, oral (fem receiving), mating press, cervix kissing, multiple orgasms, squirting, rikis a bit mean.. not proofread, sawry!
DON’T LIKE? DON’T READ!
“okay, don’t fuck this up ____” i whisper to myself as i light the final candle.
halloween night. i know what you’re thinking, girls your age are out partying and having a good time dressing as slutty as they could with little to no consequences. and you’re at home.
in all honesty, i would’ve joined them. smoked a bit, fooled around and maybe even fucked someone. but tonight i have better priorities. i am going to summon a demon.
i’ve been planning this for months and tonight is my only chance to get it right until next year and i’m determined to summon my first demon as soon as possible.
i mentally prepare myself before closing my eyes and reciting the saying i had memorized and chanting a name three times.
“noa. noa. noa.”
once i opened my eyes the first thing im greeted with is darkness. my candles had went out leaving a smokey scent. however before i could react my lights had began to flicker and the room started to lightly rumble against my bottom.
soon everything comes to a stop and i feel a breeze along my back as goosebumps slowly appeared across my skin.
“___..” i heard an ominous voice whisper in my ear in a low tone. slowly, ghosting touches begin to linger on my skin. a hand, trailing up my arms and shoulders leaving almost burning touches against them. the almost freezing room feeling hot as my skin burns to the touch.
not quite confident in answering to the voice, i hesitantly respond, “who are you?”
the voice chuckles sinisterly before responding. “im the one you called, of course.”
soon after that response the candles suddenly relight themselves revealing the mysterious figure in all its glory. a 6’3 Japanese boy dressed in a black muscle tee gray sweatpants with slightly chipped horns atop his head.
“riki?”
why is riki, my classmate, standing in this middle of the room? And more importantly why am i becoming aroused being in his presence?
he chuckles, sending chills down your spine. he takes long but slow paced strides across the room. eyes boring into your soul as he places a hand on your cheek, caressing your face.
“why are you shocked to see me? i’ve been here the whole entire time.”
you look at him confused before the memories start coming back.
“____ im sure you’ve heard of our our new student, nishimura riki before?” the assistant principal says as we walk towards office where i see an awkward looking japanese boy sitting one of the waiting chairs outside of the office.
i open my mouth to answer but before i can she cuts me off, “i’m sure you have. anyway i want you to show him around and make him feel welcome.” she says.
i glance over at the kid, sighing i begin to walk over to him. “hi my name is ____. im supposed to show you around” i say as i cross my arms waiting for him to acknowledge me.
the boy looks up, and he has a red glint in his eyes? wait, thats not right.
suddenly you’re pulled out of your memories when you feel a faint sting on your cheek and your head feeling dizzy.
“or should we refer back to the earlier part of this week?”
“have you guys ever noticed how odd that riki kid is?” i ask as i look down and pick at my food.
“who?” your friend, hanni, asks.
“riki?” i say confused as i look up at my friends, “the new kid in the class across the hall?” i question further.
“____we haven’t had a new kid since.. i don’t know when..” your other friend, rei, says.
i groan in frustration, “i understand he doesn’t exactly have a social status but now you guys are just being ridiculous” i say as i point behind them to riki who’s sitting in the corner table of the lunchroom.
rei and hanni look back before sharing a look and turning back to you. “ooookay..” rei says as she starts to put all her trash in the tray.
hanni follows her actions and begins to speak, “look ____, i dont know what you smoked before you came to school or if this is one of your witchy thing but you have to stop doing it before school because it’s seriously fucking with your mental.”.
they leave you alone at the table as you sit there dumbfounded with lingering eyes on you.
you feel yet another slap to your face, this one slightly harder as you lose balance and fall backwards onto your bottom.
he walks up to you again, kneeling down placing a hand between your legs causing you to instinctively clamp your legs around it.
he tsks, “i can’t tell if you fear me or if you want to fuck me..” he presses the palm of his hand into your clothed heat and proceeds to rub the tip of his middle finger up and down your clit.
he mutters to himself, “not that it matters, i’m just gonna fuck you anyway.”
your eyes start to swell with tears as soft sobs start to leave your mouth. “please dont.. “, you hiccup, “why are you here? why are you doing this to me?” you cry out.
he stops his ministrations, looking you dead in the eyes he responds, “because you desired me. you manifested me. you did this to yourself ____.” he moves his hands to tug at the waistband of your skirt and underwear roughly pulling them down.
“crying but you’re loving this treatment. you wanted to be fucked by me. thats why you summoned me right?” he lets out a dry laugh as he begins rubbing your folds up and down once more, this time spreading your wetness from your slick hole to your clit.
you sob out as you arch your back subconsciously, “s..stop” you cry out once more as you clamp your legs around him again and move your hands to wrap around his wrist, using all your strength to push him away.
“you’re too weak. how about instead of trying to act like you don’t want this, you just take it like you know you want to?” he says before delivering another smack to your face, this one just as hard as the first two smacks.
he then uses his free hand to cover your mouth and muffle your cries, “you’re so fucking annoying when you cry. it’s not like it’s gonna make me stop.” he mumbles as he suddenly thrusts two fingers into your hole.
you whine out against his hand, once again bucking your hips against his fingers and allowing your legs to spread open as you fall apart on his fingers.
“thats right.. just let it happen” he whispers as he removes his hand from your mouth and quickly replacing it with his own mouth.
the kiss is messy and heated, your saliva exchanging and your breaths heavy. his hand makes its way to your nape as to keep you from moving away from him. you didn’t plan on moving though. the kiss felt too good
he pulls away allowing you to moan into his mouth as your lips and the inside of your mouth tingle with an unfamiliar pleasure. you feel your body start to heighten its senses.
suddenly your shirt feels too tight around your body as your now hardened nipples rub up against it and your clit feeling way more sensitive as its exposed to the cool air in your room mixed with rikis warm occasional touches.
you wrap your arms around rikis neck and go to kiss him again but instead whining as you shift upwards and allow your nipples to rub and create a friction against your shirt.
“im.. im close..” you whimper out and pant as riki thrusts his fingers in and out of you at a fast speed.
riki takes the initiative and kisses you again, taking advantage of your open mouth to slip his tongue in. exploring your mouth as he snakes his free hand up your body, groping your breast and playing with your hardened nipples over your shirt.
you quickly pull away, moaning out louder than ever as your orgasm hits you unexpectedly. bucking your hips up and feeling squirts of your orgasm hit your thigh, coating both your inner thighs and rikis arm in your arousal.
riki slowly stops his fingers, riding you through your orgasm and gives you another kiss before removing his hand. he pops his fingers into his mouth groaning around them as he tastes you on his fingers.
he uses his hands to remove your shirt before pushing your bare body onto the cool hardwood floor. he watches as you arch your back off the floor and whine out as the cold air hits your now fully naked body.
he position his hands under your breast pushing them together before putting his thumb and index fingers on your nipples and pinching them.
“s..stop!” you mewl out at the pain and pleasure on your chest and bring your hands up ontop of his in an attempt to stop him.
he removes one of his hands and slaps you. he takes his now free hand and takes both of your wrist in it. he latches his mouth onto the new free nipple as he rolls and teases the other one between his fingers.
once your nipple is in his mouth, your back finally relaxes onto the floor. his tongue swirls around your areola and his teeth grazing across your nipple. in the midst of his wispy bangs he can see your mouth opened in pure pleasure, but no sound was heard.
unsatisfied with your reactions he bites your nipple somewhat harshly, forcing you to arch your back once more, and let out a loud whimper.
“such pretty noises from someone who seemingly didn’t want this” he teases before sticking his tongue out and licking your torso in small sections going downwards until he sits comfortably between your thighs.
he wraps his arms around your thighs before biting your inner thighs, occasionally sucking to soothe the bites and aid in marking you up.
his bites slowly get closer to your heat, his hot breath fanning over you. he lets himself take in the sight of you before diving in. his tongue runs over your folds and hovers over your clit. he licks small circles around your clit, making you squirm at the sensation.
he takes your clit into his mouth lightly sucking it causing you to arch your back. you let out soft breathy pants as he circles his tongue around your sensitive parts feeling his saliva start to drip out of his mouth and down into your hole.
he removes his mouth from sucking and licking on your clit downwards, collecting his saliva and your wetness before spitting the mix on your clit and going back to sucking on your clit.
you moan out as your hands fly to riki’s hair, guiding him back and forth as you spread your legs more. you buck your hips against his face while your eyes roll to the back of your head.
“i’m gonna cum again..” you whimper as you remove your hands from rikis hair to cover your mouth as tears swell up in your eyes.
as you reach your high, you attempt to buck your hips once more. only this time your hips are held down by riki, who had thrown an arm over your pelvis to keep you down as he licks and sucks you through your orgasm.
once you’ve calmed down, he pulls away, leaving a string of saliva as he pants and breathes against your cunt. he gives your clit one more suck before removing himself before between your thighs and onto his knees to kiss your lips once more.
before kissing you he starts to undress, starting by removing his shirt and revealing his toned body. he kisses you as he pulls his sweatpants and boxers down mid thigh.
riki hooks his hands under your knees and pushes them upwards towards your head.
he breaks the kiss and looks down at your messy cunt. “so messy..” he whispers before spitting on it and using his hand to guide his erection to rub against your clit and smear his precum and spit all over.
he kisses you again as he inserts his entire length inside of you without a warning, swallowing your moans and cries while doing so.
he pulls away from the kiss and listens to your moans, groaning as he feeds off your sexual energy. while allowing you to get used to his size, you could tell he’s easily larger than the few guys you’ve been with.
he starts his thrust again and with each thrust in and out of your cunt, you could feel you losing yourself with every fast hard thrust. after building a rhythm, he comfortably sits on his knees and pushes your knees farther upwards towards your head, going as deep as he possibly could.
after a particularly hard thrust, you feel the tip of his cock start to occasionally kiss your cervix, forcing you to let out loud, almost pornographic moans. riki groans to himself listening to your screams of pleasure and feeling you clench around his cock.
“i’m getting close..” you whine out as tears start to form and threaten to fall with each thrust. “cum for me baby. just let it all go..” riki whispers.
you orgasm and as you do you can feel yourself squirt once more, this time much more intense as your legs start to shake and twitch in rikis hands. your reactions send riki into his orgasm, making you feel full and warm. riki gives a couple more thrust before he pulls out.
“you did so good..” he smirks. “see? now we’re both happy. i got what i wanted and you got a good fuck.”
“h- huh..?” you say in your dazed and confused state.
“you really are stupid, aren’t you?” he asked sarcastically. “you fucked an incubus.” he chuckled before the lights flickered once more and turned off.
the lights cut back on and leaves you in the room alone forcing you to realize the reality of the situation. “holy shit.. i just fucked a demon..” you mumbled to yourself.
#𝜗𝜚 gyaruoriki#enhypen#enhypen smut#ni-ki#ni-ki x reader#ni-ki smut#nishimura riki#nishimura riki x reader#nishimura riki smut#riki#riki x reader#riki smut#riki hard thoughts
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ooo also would love a minho x reader where they are sort of enemies in the friendship group/ think the other dislikes them and maybe reader needs help/ ends up hurt or drunk and minho comes to help and they realise they didn’t actually hate each other and the group is glad they’ve finally stopped being blind (I think i have an angst obsession)
unfortunately i like you too
pairing: college au!lee know x reader
word count: 3306
genre: not really friends/ rivals to lovers, fluff, angst, unrequited (but not really), hurt to comfort
warnings: description of unintentional self-harm (pressing your fingernails into your palms), alcohol
network: @skzstarnet
request by: @missvanjii
When I first met Lee Minho I thought he was a piece of shit. And that’s just me putting it nicely.
We were placed in a group together in our first year for Introduction to Computer Science.
He was always correcting me with his stupid signature smirk on his stupid face, wearing his stupid glasses, and laughing his stupid laugh while I struggled to retort his reply. In fact, if my stupid body had some backbone and I wasn’t so unfortunately attracted to him, and if I didn’t hate how much I got nervous when he would come from behind me and click my mistakes away, I could easily respond to him.
In that class I also met two of my closest friends now. Felix, another international student and Nayeon, both who had the brightest smiles. After completing our assignment, the four of us unintentionally formed our own little friend group.
At times we meet at a coffee shop not too far from campus to get some work done. It was a perfect day to meet up. With how chilly it’s been, the sun finally showed herself after days of rain.
The quaint coffee shop turned out to be our favourite spot off campus. The simple designs mixed with the smell of coffee were calming factors for us. After coming here almost every week, the owners now know our orders and always have our table ready for us.
Felix and I were the first to arrive. He barely waited til we sat down properly for him to pull out his laptop, plug it in and start typing rapidly. His forehead formed rare lines as his eyes moved rapidly to the screen.
After getting our order, he turned his laptop to me and asked me to see if I could fix his worries.
“Lix, I have no idea what to do to fix that program,” I said.
Felix sighed as he turned his computer back to himself. One could see how stressed he was. His face was wearing a foreign frown as he typed quickly.
“What program?” A voice that I recognized way too easily, said sitting down in front of us.
I glanced up at Minho, we made eye contact and he smiled. I looked away and rolled my eyes at his presence. Since it was just the three of us, Nayeon as usual was late.
The owner brought over his order, he smiled and thanked him while slightly bowing, making his bangs fall onto his glasses. After taking a quick sip of his coffee, he quickly fixed them before asking again,
“So what’s this program you’re talking about?”
“The program for my Analysis of Algorithms class. I’ve been working at it for days and it’s due tonight and I asked Y/N to look at it for me –”
“But Y/N’s more of a UX designer Lix,” Minho interrupted.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
He laughed, “Nothing, just that your focus is in UX design, so I wouldn’t be surprised that you wouldn’t know how to fix it,”
I know what Minho said wasn’t inherently bad, but the playfulness in his eyes alongside that stupid ass smirk made me know that he knows he’s pissing me off.
I squinted my eyes at his response and opened my mouth to answer him but Felix interjected.
“This is due tonight. I don’t have time for your bickering back and forth as a badly concealed attempt at flirting,” He groaned, placing his fingers at his temple.
“Felix!”
Minho laughed and took Felix’s laptop and started typing.
“What? It’s true. You do it every time we hang out and I’m too stressed to have that right now,” He pouted, placing his head on my shoulder.
I started to pat his hair and said to Minho,
“Look at what you did to the poor child,”
“Me?!”
Before he could continue, Nayeon finally entered the coffee shop with a smile on her face. She said hi to the owners and waved at us from the counter.
She sat down beside Minho and pulled out her laptop as she said,
“What did I miss?”
“Nothing much, just Y/N and Minho bickering again,” Felix said.
“Oh so the usual,”
Minho snickered at that.
“We do not argue that much. Y’all just lucky I can tolerate his ass,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Careful with rolling your eyes all the time babe, they might fall out,” Minho said looking up at me.
“Ughhh, can you not! Have you finished fixing my program, you’re over here flirting?” Felix groaned again.
My eye twitched, “He was not… flirting,”
Right? He calls me these silly nicknames all the time. And as much as they make my heart speed up a little, it means nothing to him.
Minho turned the laptop back around to Felix, “I’m finished with it Lix. You must have not noticed but you skipped out on a couple lines of code and also had some of them in the wrong places,”
“Have I ever told you I love you? Because I love you,” Felix exclaimed, lifting his head off my shoulder to check his laptop.
Minho laughed at his theatrics but he just had to pipe in, “Also, I wasn’t flirting,”
Nayeon rolled her eyes, “Sure, whatever you say,”
Minho chuckled before opening his own laptop, “Why would I flirt with Y/N?”
“You guys are blowing shit out of proportion. He was just being a dick as usual,” I said.
“Yeah plus, she isn’t my type anyways,” He shrugged.
The air stilled. I stopped typing after hearing his words. Nayeon and Felix locked eyes before simultaneously looking at me. Must be to see how my face might have changed upon hearing his words.
They’ve told me once before that as fierce I might try to present myself on the outside, with the dark makeup and dark clothes, I’m as soft as a cloud on the inside. And sometimes that bleeds through. I’m unable to hide my emotions to protect myself and I get figured out. I don’t think either of them know about my unfortunate crush on Minho. Well, if they do, they haven’t told me.
“That’s a bit much Min,” Nayeon said.
She reached for my hand on the table, gently unclasping my fingers that were pressed so tightly into my palm. I didn’t even notice I was doing it.
Minho looked up and our eyes met when Nayeon spoke. It’s like he felt the shift in the energy. He blinked rapidly, as if he was slowly processing what just happened. One would think he would stop talking at this point.
Wrong.
“Y/N knows not to take me seriously,” He said with a slight smile looking right at me.
My throat closed up. “Right,” I forced out, “Because you don’t take me seriously either,”.
His eyebrows pushed together as if he was surprised at what I said. Or maybe it was how I said it. His eyes latched onto mine. His mouth slightly opened, as if he was searching for what to say.
Felix placed a hand on mine, to comfort me but to warn me to be cautious as well. Now I know I must have been wearing my feelings on my face again.
After I could trust myself to speak, I raised my face and tucked my locs behind my ears. I started packing up my stuff.
“I forgot I had to do something back on campus. I’ll catch up with you guys later,”
Walking out of the coffee shop, I cursed myself over and over again. We do this all the time. We argue, we bicker, we insult. But it wasn’t personal. And the feelings I felt for him that made me so frustrated with myself, never came up.
It’s not like I expect anything to come out of this. A relationship with Minho was the last thing I thought of. But to hear him blatantly say I never even had a chance, hurt. I didn’t even know I wanted one.
The noisy street to the bus stop did not help to drown out my thoughts. In fact with how loud it was inside my brain and outside, I wish something would shut up. I felt enclosed and uncomfortable. Maybe I was wearing too many layers. But it was too cold to go without a jacket. Tears brimmed my eyes and I started pressing my fingernails into my palms again, simply hoping to relieve some frustration.
A hand gently stopped my pressing.
“Lix?”
“Hey,” He said softly.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave like that. My mind is just so loud right now and God –”
He smiled gently, “You don’t have to apologize Y/N,”. He interlocked his fingers with mine and squeezed my hand as we walked to the stop.
We sat down and waited for the bus to come. The once bright blue skies quickly turned gray under the influence of the month of May.
“It’s okay to feel, you know Y/N? You don’t have to be this tough girl all this time,” He frowned.
“When I do feel, it hurts Lixie,” I placed my head on his shoulder.
He patted my head gently, “I know love, I know. I just wish the both of you would stop arguing and actually realize how you feel”.
“He feels nothing for me. Didn’t you hear what he said?” I said.
Felix only sighed and said nothing else.
The next time our group was together, was at the club on Friday night. Nayeon and I were in the bathroom checking our makeup while the guys got drinks. We both matched in our black little dresses, accenting our figures. My locs were in a high bun with two framing pieces out. I reapplied my liner and lip gloss and glanced over at Nayeon whose light makeup contrasted with my dark one. I smiled at her through the mirror and nudged her.
She caught my smile and began laughing, “We’re literally twins babe,”
I nodded and hugged her, “We are,”
She looked at me a bit more seriously, “You know I love you right Y/N?”
“Of course Nayeonie. I know,”
“Good. I also straightened out Lee Minho after you left,” She said, fixing her hair.
“You did not!”
Maybe I heard her wrong over the blaring loud music.
“I did! I told him that I know y’all argue but that was pushing it,”
“There’s nothing wrong with him not having feelings for me,”
“It’s not that. It’s how he said it,”
I reached over and gave her another hug, “Well either way, thank you for protecting me Nayeonie,”
She hugged me again, “Always, my Y/N. Let’s go dance and get really drunk now!!”
Her smile was devilish.
Walking over to the bar, we saw the boys with our drinks.
Felix handed over mine and said “What were you guys doing in there? Took so damn long!”
I giggled and downed mine, “What happens in the girls bathroom, stays in the girls bathroom,”
“Whatever, let’s go dance.” As he pulled me into the crowd, I locked eyes with Minho.
We haven’t really spoken since the coffee shop. He gave me a small smile and nodded at me, which I returned.
Anyways, I wasn’t here to focus on Minho and my failed attempt at not checking out how good he looked tonight under the flashing lights.
After some time and ten more drinks later, I lost the group. I stumbled out of the crowd and sat at the bar. I reached into my purse for my phone and tried my best to find one of their numbers.
“Hey,” An unfamiliar voice said.
I looked up at the owner of the voice, “Do I know you?”.
He laughed, “No, but you can get to know me. I bought a drink for you,”.
He slid a bright red drink over my way. With the slight consciousness I had, I shook my head.
“No thanks,”
He sat down next to me, “Come on, I’ve been watching you all night and now I’m finally talking to you. Just take the drink at least,”
“You’ve been watching me?”
“Yeah” He said with a smile, “I think you’re cute,”.
I smiled back at him and took the drink in my hand, but before it could even reach my head, a hand snatched it from me.
I looked to see Minho pouring the drink on the ground.
“Yeah, she’s not drinking that,”
“Excuse me? Who are you?” The stranger said standing up.
Minho scoffed and had his stupid signature smirk on his face, “You wanna find out?”
Minho took a step forward, as the guy took a step back, “I didn’t know she was your girl. Sorry about that man,”
The guy then left without sparing another glance at me.
“Do you hate me that much?” I said as Minho turned back around to me.
“Wh-what? Y/N, you were not seriously going to take a drink from a random ass guy,”
“What if I wanted to?!” I stood up and yelled over the music. “Is it so jarring to you that someone actually wants me?”
Tears brimmed at my eyes, “Or do you just want to humiliate me, every chance you get?”
“No Y/N what?” Minho said, startled.
I shook my head and started to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me through the club.
We walked in silence to the nearest convenience store. I didn’t fight or even yelled when we reached outside. He simply just told me ‘Let’s go for a walk,’ and for some reason I listened. I sat down outside on one of the stools. Minho went inside, saying he needed to get something.
You could barely see the stars tonight. What wasn’t covered in clouds was covered by the bright lights of Seoul. Reminds me of how conflicted I felt about Minho. He’s a good person, I know he is. And that makes me wonder how good he would be as a boyfriend. But he doesn’t see me as anything but a friend.
“Drink,” He said, handing it to me.
I struggled with opening it and he took it from me, opened it and then put it at my head.
“What makes you think I would want to humiliate you?” He said when I was finishing drinking, taking a seat right next to me.
God, I could barely focus on his words. He slightly turned his body to me and the white button down shirt with the few buttons open at the top distracting me.
“Y/N?... Babe come on, answer me,” He said, bringing back my attention to his face.
“I don’t know Minho, I don’t know,” I said.
He ran his hands through his hair, “I know what I said in the coffee shop was uncalled for. And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push it,”
I shrugged, “Thank you, but I didn’t expect anything else to be honest,”
His eyebrows furrowed, “What do you mean?”
“We don’t really like each other. We don’t necessarily say the kindest things all the time,”
“You think I don’t like you?”
I nodded, “Yeah, I mean… you never proved otherwise,”
“I was just teasing. I thought you were too. I liked annoying you because… I liked getting a reaction from you. I liked knowing what pissed you off and knowing I’m the only one that can get on your nerves in a certain way. I like you Y/N… a lot. And I’m sorry for not paying attention to the weight of my words,”
“You like me? If you’re just saying that to piss me off more Lee Minho I swear,” I rolled my eyes and started to turn away from him.
I couldn’t allow myself to get hurt once more and much worse to show how hurt I was right in front of him.
“No, no” He turned me back around and reached for my hands, “This isn’t a joke, I promise.” He said as he looked right into my eyes as if he would die if he looked away.
“But you said I wasn’t your type,” I said softly.
“That was me deflecting. Felix called me out on my flirting and I felt nervous. I didn’t know what to say, but I shouldn’t have said that and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Y/N”
“Yeah… you shouldn’t have,”
He scratched the back of his head, “Did you really think I didn’t like you? Does that mean you don't like me either?”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Damn, and here I thought it was just some freaky foreplay we were doing?”
I slapped his chest, “What?”
“I mean, we were bickering all the time but I just thought it was playful, so I didn’t take it seriously. I just thought that the bickering would eventually lead to a confession,”
Now all those nicknames he called me made sense.
“So, is that what you want? A confession?”
“Is it selfish to say yes? I do really like you Y/N. I was really hoping you’d feel the same way,”
“What do you like about me?” I said.
I looked up at him and gosh my heart was speeding.
“Your creativity. God, the way your brain works is so mesmerizing. Everytime you send a mockup to the group chat, I’m in awe of how creative it is. I like how kind you are. Even though you portray this really tough act, your heart is soft. You’re always trying to help someone out and it’s always with the utmost genuinity. I like your eyes. I like how they tell your emotions so well, especially when you’re trying to hide them.”
“Minho,” I said softly.
“I can go on,”
“You don’t have to. You don’t have to, because unfortunately I like you too.”
He laughed. He laughed his stupid laugh. His stupid eyes formed pretty crescents and his stupid head tilted slightly back.
“Why are you laughing at me?” I pouted.
“I’m sorry baby, you just confessed in the cutest way possible. ‘Unfortunately’?” He laughed again.
My face got hot. He looked over at me with a soft smile. His hands cautiously but gently reached for my face and lifted it up for us to meet at eye level.
“Unfortunately, Y/N I can’t let you go after experiencing what it’s like to be close to you. Unfortunately, I can’t see you without the endearment of how adorable you are. And unfortunately that comes with the affection I have for you, waiting to be shown, if you’d let me,”
“Show it,” I said, my voice no higher than a whisper. “Show your stupid affection. Whether that be in the way you tease me or hold me, unfortunately I want you either way as long as you’d let me,”
He blinked a couple times as if he was processing my words. His eyes travelled down to my lips at which I leaned closer. He reached down and pressed his on to mine.
Our group met again at our designated coffee shop. Felix and I were sitting across from each other, discussing the class we just had.
Lee Minho walked in, with a smile, “Hey baby” He leaned down to give me a quick kiss.
When I turned back to Felix, his mouth was wide open. Minho laughed, his cute laugh as Nayeon finally entered.
“What did I miss?” She asked.
“You wouldn’t believe me,” Felix said.
As he tells the shocking discovery of our new found development, loud squeals and giggles could be heard from outside our coffee shop.
I glanced at Minho as he wrapped his arm around me, telling our best friends how this all happened.
You know now that I think of it, he isn’t that bad after all.
a/n:
reblogging helps writers work to be found so please reblog if you liked it!!
i wanna say first i'm so so sorry for taking long with this request! T.T life happened and i started writing it then i hated how it was turning out so i redirected and now honestly i think this is the best fic i've written.
i really do think i've improved in my writing. so thank you for this request! i love when i'm given request because it really forces myself to write within that perimeter so i hope i've fulfilled it :))
my requests are still open so if anyone would want to send anymore feel free!
also i have 15 followers aaaa. i know it might seem small to some but it means a lot to me! honestly my goal isn't numerical but just to have black girls feel seen in the fanfiction especially kpop fanfiction world.
okay i've talked too much now. i have a lot of wips that i'm excited about :)) i'll see u soon ! sending lots of love and happiness y'all's way<3333
#lee know fic#lee know x reader#lee know x you#lee know x y/n#lee minho#skz minho#minho x reader#minho x you#lee know hurt to comfort#lee know angst#lee know fluff#skz fics#skz x reader#skz x you#skz x y/n#skz fluff#skz hurt comfort#lee know hurt/comfort#skz angst#minho angst#skz x black reader#z writes#skzstarnet#🎀.missvanjii
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Life in Miniature (Two)
Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually
Debbie and Fester Addams
One | Two | Three | Four | Five
Rick and Evelyn O'Connell
One | Two | Three
Harley Quinn
One | Two
10th Doctor and Rose
One | Two (on the way!)
Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz)
Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum)
One | Two (you're here!)
Queen Clarisse Renaldi
One | Two | Three
So, I'm not dead, despite any suspicions otherwise lmao; life just got a little wild and I needed a tiny break from writing, but hopefully I'll be back! We'll see! I'm literally on my knees begging my brain so maybe it'll stick lmao
Anyway, this part was line-jumped on Ko-Fi! If you want to line jump your favorite series, you can learn more here
Also also! I actually commissioned a wonderful friend of mine (@gamanyne) to draw Emperor Steve! She also did my current header and icon, so you know her art is fucking peak. Anyway, it'll be attached at the bottom of the fic so have fun getting there
And, as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)
----
"Heard the guard mention you've got some new blood in your display, Ocky."
Octavius glanced over as Jedediah sauntered through the hidden tunnel that connects their displays. It had been built during their admittedly embarrassing courtship, a gift from that time's night guard.
He'd been waiting for exactly this moment, and some of his nervous energy drained when Jedediah stood close enough for their shoulders to brush. He turned to face Jedediah, staying close so he can keep his voice quiet. "Yes, a new battalion and..."
"And?"
"A young emperor."
Jedediah whistled lowly, eyebrows rising as he looked over Octavius's shoulder at the buildings across the display. It was all pillars and domes and aged marble, but newly added splashes of color could be spotted here and there. "He a brat?" Jedediah asked.
"He is my sovereign!"
"Yeah, sure," Jedediah said, shrugging as he met Octavius's eyes, "but is he a brat?"
Octavius felt indignation rise in his chest but quickly subdued it. He knew Jedediah meant well. And then he saw the smirk on Jedediah's face. "Lover or not, I can not tolerate insults to the emperor," he said.
Jedediah hummed and held his hands up in surrender. "Still ain't answered my question, Ocky."
"I don't know!" Octavius finally exclaimed, looking away when Jedediah blinked at his outburst. "Admittedly, I was more focused on seeing you than meeting him."
"Gee, almost sounds like you've got a crush on me, Ocky. That's kinda embarrassing, don't you think?"
"We have done things that would make satyrs blush, Jedediah. Are we not past embarrassment?"
"Still embarrassing," Jedediah said, grinning wider when Octavius finally looked back at him. "Don't worry, Ocky. He's just a kid. You've got nothing to worry about."
"Child emperors do not have the most...positive reputation," Octavius said. He frowned, looking away as Jedediah glanced over his shoulder again. "Many are spoiled and unaware of how politics should be conducted."
"Ocky...," Jedediah whispered, reaching out to tug on Octavius's cape.
Octavius smiled, appreciating the comforting gesture. "Short tempers are also common, and I worry about any palace staff that anger him. They are just as likely to have their head cut off as they are to walk away."
"Uh, Ocky," Jedediah said, tugging on the cape again.
"And perhaps I am getting ahead of myself, but I don't look forward to measures that may need to be taken if my soldiers are terrorized by a, well, as you put it, love, a brat."
"Ocky!" Jedediah shouted, grabbing Octavius's shoulders and spinning him around.
"Ah," Octavius said, a cold sweat covering him at the sight of the young emperor staring at them. Strands of brown hair fell over the golden laurels at his temples to curl around equally brown eyes. He's taller than Octavius expected, nearly reaching his own height, and older, too. He was, perhaps, around 20, meaning he had several years' experience as emperor.
Above all, though, Octavius managed to see the brief flash of...insecurity? Perhaps it was self-directed disappointment and acceptance? Whatever it was, it vanished the next moment as the young emperor pressed his lips into a thin line, rolled his shoulders back, and said, "General Octavius."
Hearing the young emperor's voice finally freed Octavius from his frozen shock. He cleared his throat, placed a fist over his heart, and bowed to the emperor. "Your Majesty," he said, "What can I do for you?"
"You can raise your head," the young emperor said. When Octavius did, he saw tensed shoulders, and he was briefly overcome by the thought that someone so young should not, in fact, look as if they carry the weight of the world. "I intended to have you introduce me to the soldiers, but I see that you're busy."
Octavius cleared his throat and stepped aside so Jedediah was easier to see. He then placed a hand on Jedediah's shoulder and said, "My liege, this is Jedediah, Cowboy King of the Wild West, and my close companion."
"Woah, woah, cowboy king?" Jedediah whispered, glancing at Octavius like he might be crazy.
"Ah, I see," the young emperor replied, nodding respectfully to Jedediah. ""I am Servius Tullius, Sixth King of Rome, son of Vulcan, weapons master of the gods. I look forward to making your acquaintance at a later date."
"Uh, yeah, acquaintance making and stuff," Jedediah said, nodding back with a strained smile. "I'll be sure to pencil ya in."
"Yes, well," the young emperor replied, his jaw ticking slightly like he wanted to say something but held himself back. "Until then."
Octavius watched as he turned on his heel and walked back to the palace. It wasn't until the emperor was halfway there that Jedediah leaned closer and asked, "He seem a little off to you?"
"Yes, a little."
------------
Steve glances at Eddie, both to make sure he isn't about to fall off Rexy and just because he wants to. Eddie's hair is a little frizzy and his cheeks are flushed, but Steve assumes that's just from performing in front of such a large crowd earlier.
"So, you are a performer," he says as Rexy makes his way to the stairs. "Who did you apprentice under?"
"I didn't," Eddie replies, frowning slightly. "I mean, I just taught myself. Like, with YouTube and stuff."
"Oh! Yes, YouTube, I have seen many cat videos with Robin. I was unaware there were other kinds of videos available."
Eddie snorts, and Steve thinks it's a surprisingly endearing sound. "Yeah, definitely more than cat videos, Stevie," he says, drumming his fingers along Rexy's skull before asking, "So, uh, you're an emperor...does that mean there's an empress?"
"No," Steve says, glancing away and returning Attila the Hun's wave when they pass him. "I should have, but it just never happened."
"Why not? Is it okay to ask?"
"I don't mind. It was naive and bullheaded of me, but I wanted an empress I actually liked."
"Nothing wrong with wanting love, sweetheart," Eddie says, bumping their shoulders together.
"I agree."
Silence settles over them, and Steve wonders if feeling this awkward is normal. He's never had a problem keeping a conversation going with Robin, and his fathers are plenty good at bantering. But here, he's not sure how to proceed. Robin once told him that he can come off as arrogant, someone others don't want to be around, and he's trying to not do that with Eddie.
He thinks Eddie is handsome. If Steve could only convince him, he's sure a chest-plate and shield would make Eddie look particularly dashing. Steve also likes the way Eddie looks at him. It's not quite the devotion he's seen from people under his rule; Eddie's gaze is far more heated than that, making Steve's skin prickle wherever it lands.
"Hey," Eddie says, pulling Steve out of his thoughts, "how's all this coming to life stuff really work? It's not actually that tablet thing, right?"
"It is," Steve replies, nodding once. "Ahkmenrah's tablet was a gift from his parents, who wanted their family to stay together even in death. It harnesses the power of noble Luna and the stars that surround her to breathe life into everyone here. Without his presence, you and I wouldn't be talking right now."
"That's....kind of crazy," Eddie says, trying to wrap his brain around it. "I mean, magic?"
"How else might we be alive right now? According to Robin, you and I are but plastic, perhaps wax or wood depending on our manufacturer."
"But I don't feel like plastic or whatever," Eddie replies, poking at his own arm before poking at Steve's as well. "Neither do you. You feel, like, warm and alive."
"Yes, because of the tablet's magic. Would you like to see it? Ahkmenrah is very understanding of new exhibits that wish to look upon it."
Eddie looks like he's about to nod when he suddenly stops and tilts his head. Steve looks in the direction his gaze has gone and smiles when he sees the temporary exhibit about the history of party fashion. It's only in the museum for a few more days, and the people inside have been partying even harder in the face of their fleeting mortality.
Steve assumes Eddie's attention was attracted by the music, so he looks back and asks, "Would you like to join them?"
"Aren't we, uh, a little small for that?" Eddie asks.
Steve grins as he knocks on Rexy's skull twice. The dinosaur comes to a sliding halt outside the exhibit and lowers its head until its jaw is touching the ground. "Do you trust me?" Steve asks, standing and offering his hand to Eddie.
"Uh, yeah, I think," he says, taking Steve's hand.
His grin widening, Steve tugs Eddie to his feet and then leads him carefully down Rexy's skull. When they reach its snout, they're still a few feet off the ground. "Please don't say I have to make that jump," Eddie says, frowning at the distance.
"Don't worry," Steve says, letting go of Eddie's hand in favor of simply picking him up instead. "You're not the one jumping."
Eddie's eyes are wide as he clings to Steve's neck, glancing between the floor and Steve like he might be insane. Steve flashes a bright, reassuring smile before walking to the edge of Rexy's snout and simply jumping down.
"Holy shit!" Eddie shouts, holding onto Steve tighter and flinching when he feels the jolt of Steve landing. "You're crazy. How are your legs not broken?"
"I am the son of a god," Steve says, carefully placing Eddie on his feet once more. "A mere jump wouldn't harm me."
Eddie is quiet for a few moments, his face red as he looks at the entrance to the exhibit. He takes a deep breath, nods once, and says, "Man, they'd better have tequila in there."
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Tag List (if you'd like to be added, please let me know!)
@itsall-taken, @acaademicqueer, @mx-jinxous, @y4r3luv, @daydreaming-mood, @just-a-tiny-void, @villainousalair,
So, as promised, here is the art I commissioned from my wonderful friend @gamanyne of Steve in his Roman outfit!
#steddie#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve deserves good parents actually#life in miniature#night at the museum#jedtavius#natm jedediah#natm octavius#my writing#the way i've stared at the art for literal hours tho hfdjks#it's just so good#i wanna cry lmao
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Prompt “she says we bicker like an old married couple” for Tony Stark, please? But maybe they actually are a married couple heheheheheh? All up to ya tho
We bicker like an old married couple
Warning: 18+ there’s some magic brownies involved. Fluff.
.
“That’s funny.”
You wondered out loud, chewing on the third piece of a delicious peanut butter brownie batch your best friend had sent over for you.
“Huh?”
Tony raised his head from where it had been resting, which was your shoulder, narrowing his eyes as you let out an audible sigh.
“I said, that is funny. Geez are you really getting that old?”
“Did you just call me old, Y/N Y/L/N?” Tony gave you a light push, wiping off invisible crumbs from his lap after sitting up.
Between you two, you had finished the brownies mere minutes after they had been delivered to you as an anniversary gift. Everything pretty much had slowed down as you munched on the sweet treats. Your friend had only forgotten to mention they were spiked with special ingredients, now you were starting to think it was on purpose.
It wasn’t often that you got a chance to really let loose, so when the opportunity presented itself, you cooked him a great meal, cracked open a bottle of his favourite wine and were about to dig in when the little present arrived. And according to Tony, he wanted to change things up by having dessert first which led to this.
Tony was knelt between your legs, splaying his hands on your thighs as his brown eyes, now dilated, implored yours as he waited for an answer. You giggled and let out a small snort that you couldn’t control, carding your fingers through his hair which had several greys peaking through. His question practically answering itself.
“Honey, let’s not go there.”
“You’re mean.” He stuck out his tongue, grumbling as he snatched your family sized bag of Dorito’s away from you.
“Tony! Give it back! I’m hungry.” You whined, completely forgetting that there was a full dinner waiting on the dinner table.
“Nope. Not unless you say sorry.”
“For stating the truth? Not in hell.” You scoffed, giving him a little push that was enough to make him topple back on his bum.
The movement kinda slowed down your vision, making you grab onto the back of the couch. Tony was quick on his feet to tackle you down on it once again, not relenting as you protested, little giggles escaping you that you simply couldn’t control.
“Stop laughing!” He grumbled.
“You’re such a little baby! It’s cute.”
“Oh my God. I hate you.”
“You know what my best friend says?” You blinked up at the man who had pinned you underneath him, distracting him enough for him to loosen his grip.
“What?”
“She says we bicker like an old married couple.” You laughed and Tony joined in, touching his forehead to yours before his fingers weaved their way through yours. He held it up for you to see the platinum wedding bands you had exchanged three years ago. Needless to say, you two collapsed into fits of laughter after that.
.
🌼 Slutty Spring Sleepover 🌼
#tony stark x reader#tony stark drabble#tony stark fluff#tony stark fanfiction#tony stark imagine#slutty spring sleepover#the stark squad#anon asks#marvel fanfiction#tony stark
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I decided to keep my case open a little longer just so that I would have that extra financial support from the department. However, in three weeks I will be 21, and it is time to move forward. Today was a big day. After 2,792 days, 6 caseworkers, 7 placements, 8 schools, and 8 birthdays, I am no longer a ward of the state. I am free. The longest and most difficult chapter of my life, has come to a close. I thought I would feel indifferent, and that I would be closed off and unemotional. Maybe even angry, but instead I am at peace. I know that it is time to let go of all the pain I have carried for 8 long years. What happened before I was placed in the system, and what happened during, doesn’t go away. I will keep a small piece of my experience with me for the rest of my life. From now on, I don’t have to answer to anyone. I can be who I was meant to be. No more court sessions, monthly meetings where I bang my head against the wall, caseworkers, GALS, logistics and rules. Now I am just me. This is the day I have spent every minute of the last 8 years waiting for, living for, dreading. This random Wednesday afternoon is the day my life changes for good. Case number 27J529 Dependency and Neglect has been closed. My life starts over today. I am both terrified and excited. I will leave the world of foster care and enter the rest of the world. I am leaving my life as an unwanted youth, and begin my life as a young woman. The possibilities are endless. My judge cried, I cried, we all know that this is huge. I’m not the same little girl I was years ago. I am stronger now, and I’m ready. As scary as this is, I know I will be okay.
#mental health#mentalheathawareness#foster care#ptsd#ptsd recovery#trauma#foster kids#fostercareawareness#childhood trauma#aging out of foster care
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Dos and Dont’s Epilogue
Part 1 / 2/3/4
A/N: for those of you still needing more closure with this story this is for you
——————————————
6 months later:
My apartment was small but it was mine and I got to share it with one of my childhood best friends I’d reconnected with after moving back to the states last year.
Today the sun was setting on the beautiful November day. I had ordered in sushi and was enjoying a glass of wine, waiting for Deanna to get back home and tell me about her date.
These quiet evenings to myself always got me contemplative. Tonight was no different—I get to thinking about my day on set and how tomorrow was going to look.
After coming back from London and submitting my video proposal last spring, I had been rejected to nobody’s surprise. But that hadn’t stopped Harry from intervening and getting me a spot on set. It became a joke that I was a ghost intern there because really all I got to do was shadow people on set and help out where I could. And it had left me hungry for more.
I started building a portfolio and networking like crazy to get on more sets. So far I’d worked on three, once as a general assistant and twice as an arts assistant. I felt myself moving in the right direction I wanted to and it was thrilling.
I had Harry to thank for that really. And just like always, thinking about him sent a pang of achey regret through me.
I’m not sure what happened between us; we kept in touch loosely after I got back to the States. Mostly we talked about my future work and getting on set but after he actually got me on set and I got busy, our conversations fizzled out.
When I landed my second gig and had to maneuver my old job with Oretta she had ultimately let me go. I’d been bitter about failing something then but now I saw it as the kindness that it was—she had let me go and I had the room to pursue this new career.
It wasn’t easy though. The feeling of failure had driven me into the arms of a depressive episode that had taken me back home to Burbank. And when headlines were made of Harry’s new dates and women of the week, I’d taken it as a sign. We shouldn’t be in each other’s lives.
But I missed him every time I thought about him. And I always hated myself a little for not being brave enough to do anything about it, for pushing him away, and for liking him in the first place.
Clearly I was a very health person.
There was a knock on the door and I knew it had to be Deanna.
She distracts me with stories about her date and how well they hit it off. Apparently he kissed her goodnight right downstairs while I’d been drowning in misery on our living room couch.
The next morning, my phone rings at the ass crack of dawn. I expect it’s someone on set and end up being right. So with a few hours of sleep and a slight hangover from last night’s wine, I pick up a large coffee and get to work.
Last night’s thoughts bleed into my drive to work. It was when I was on set especially that I wanted to message Harry. I wanted to update him about all the cool things I was working on and hear what he thought. It was stupid but I wanted him to be proud of me too.
I wonder sometimes if I should have said something in London, been the bold one and taken a leap.
But I couldn’t have.
Harry was a damn rockstar and I was still figuring out my life. I can’t imagine it could have worked. So was it just the maybe, the what-if of us that kept looping in my mind? Or did what I feel for him mean something real, real enough not to shake so quickly.
A knock on my window scares me. It’s another one of the set assistants—Damien, waving at me. I guess I’ve just been parked staring into space. Oops.
“You need a coffee,” he tells me when I join him.
“Can you believe I’ve already had one?”
“I can probably find you a line of coke somewhere on set if you need something stronger?”
“Damien,” I pretend to be scandalized. But after working with these people over the last few years it was a pretty normal sight to see. “Ease into it first.”
He laughs, “I’m joking. I know you’re not…”
“I know,” it gets a bit awkward as it usually did with Damien and I when we started joking. “I’m joking too.”
His face flushes and I welcome someone calling me over to leave the awkward.
The day passes in a blur, the art director had a last minute change sending me to a local antique store trying to source props which was part of the job I enjoyed. With my headphones in I was in a world of structured creativity.
While I look through gold frames one of Harry’s songs comes on and I skip it automatically. I wasn’t quite ready to listen to his addictive voice croon about lovers of his past.
Not that I hadn’t tried going on dates of my own. But the thought of what-if kept me committing to anyone. If I thought about it for long enough it was actually annoying—how he somehow managed to still block my romantic life.
I’m invited for drinks after we’re done shooting for the day. Even though it’s pretty late I decide to say yes. Lately I’d spent my evenings when Deanna’s out just drinking by myself and being miserable. May as well drink with coworkers.
And I actually missed having regular coworkers, like I used to have Winnie. Shit talking about work to destress and drink was one of the highlights of making friends at work.
I have more to drink than I intended, and a small voice in my brain tells me that the amount of alcohol I’d been having recently might be a sign I’m losing it a little. But I order one last drink to shut it up.
At one point I start talking about horoscopes with someone in the bathroom and she ends up showing me how to use the lipstick I complimented them on to overline my lips, and I somewhat remember signing someone’s napkin and telling them to keep it for a few years and what it would be worth.
I also text Deanna an assortment of things and try to call my sister for a pressing matter that I can’t remember when it goes to voicemail. I end up babbling about drinking too much and needing to cut back.
I don’t know what time it is by the time I’ve ridden my high but I want to go home. I huddle by the entrance trying to remember if I came with a jacket tonight or not.
“You’re not driving home tonight are you?” Damien pops up beside me. We’d chatted throughout the night but I’d avoided any awkwardness by constantly inviting other people into the conversation. But right now he has me cornered.
“I’m a very responsible adult Damien,” I slur. “I am getting a taxi.”
“I can drive you home?” He offers.
“You were drinking too mister.”
“No,” he touches the tip of his nose. “I just had a beer and switched to soda afterwards.”
“That’s cheating,” I touch his nose and he laughs. I laugh too.
“We were invited out to drink,” he shrugs. His face flushes. “They didn’t specify what.”
“Cheater,” I tease. “D’you have a car?”
“I could drive yours home? And take an uber home from yours. We don’t live too far away.”
“No way!” I clutch my purse to me. “Nobody drives my car.”
“I didn’t realize you were so possessive.”
“It’s my car!” I let him know.
“But it’s parked on the street. You can’t leave it here weirdo.”
He had a point. Damnit.
“Fine,” I hand him my purse. He opens it tentatively and pulls the keys out.
“I just need these,” he hands my purse back.
“I need those back,” I remind him.
“I know,” he laughs, his hand coming down on my shoulder to lead me out. It sends a shiver down my spine. “I’m parking it in your garage and handing them right back.”
“Good.” I nod.
I pick the music until he tells me I shouldn’t go into singing and he switches the radio to a classical station. I pretend to snore.
“At least it might sober you up.” He pats my leg before snatching his hand off when he realizes he’d touched my bare thigh.
“I don’t feel so good.”
“I know, how much did you drink tonight y/n?”
“No I really don’t feel good.” I complain.
“Shit,” he mutters. “Just hold on.”
I do, I grip my door handle and will myself not to throw up in my car. I was at least lucid enough to know I would hate myself for having to clean it up tomorrow.
He pulls into a Trader Joe’s and I launch myself out in time to throw up on the pavement.
“Are you o-“
“Stop!” I splay my hand out behind me. This was embarrassing enough I didn’t need him to see me actually be sick. “Don’t come closer just…”
“I’ll get you some water.” He calls out and walks away.
How pathetic, I think. How pathetic was I.
Suddenly I want to cry and be left alone. I don’t want Damien driving me home, I don’t want to be drunk, and I don’t want to be here in the middle of nowhere.
When Damien gets back I’m sitting on the curb of a garden bed at the edge of a parking lot. He hands me the water and some electrolytes and gives me space which I’m grateful for. He does linger halfway in the driver’s seat and my anxiety builds until I get up and head back to the car.
“Someone kept calling you,” Damien mentions when I open my door. “I picked up after the third call. I didn’t want to bother you out there.”
“Oh, was it my roommate? Deanna?”
“No,” he scratches the back of his neck. I stare at him, waiting for him to sit back in the car and take me home. I wasn’t having fun anymore.
“Okay…?” I grab my phone from the centre console so I can check myself.
“Someone named Harry? He sounded worried?”
I look up at Damien, wondering if it was a joke even though I know it’s not. He doesn’t even know Harry. His face reflects back an awkward realization.
“Oh.” I can’t get out anything more. I could be decent and tell him that wasn’t my boyfriend—it wasn’t until this moment that I realized Damien was looking at me as more than just a casual friend. And a part of me wonders if that’s the only reason he was helping me out tonight. Then I banish the thought—that was rude. “Thanks for…letting me know.”
“I guess you don’t live with him if your roommate’s name is Deanna,” he tries to joke as he finally gets into the car.
“No that would be hard,” I reply. “He doesn’t live in the states.”
“Long distance,” he nods. I don’t reply and the car goes deathly silent as he drives me the rest of the way home.
I check my phone in the silence, Harry’s texted me. Before he called it seems:
Hey is everything alright?
Y/N I want to call you, you didn’t sound too good in your vm
I’m calling you
Shit! Did I call him first?
My face heats up with a stabbing sensation and I try to blink away the headache that was forming.
I check my call logs and sure enough after calling Deanna I’d called Harry. Why had I called him? I don’t even remember what I said in my voice message.
I groan.
“Is everything ok?” Damien asks.
“No I feel like shit-“
“Do you need me to stop again-“
“No.” I wave his concern away. “I just need to get home.”
I feel bad for him. I didn’t think I was leading him on in any way and yet he had driven me home because he liked me? I decide I’d call him his Uber myself to make it even. To feel like I didn’t owe him something.
When I finally drudge up my stairs to my bedroom I can barely be bothered to remove my clothes or take off my makeup. But my brain is wired thinking about Harry, how he called me.
I must still be somewhat drunk because as I lay horizontally in bed with half of my clothes on the floor I pick up the phone and call him.
H’s POV:
“Hi,” her voice is small and tired. My heart squeezes just hearing it.
“Y/n, you’re alright.”
“Yeah sorry, I think I mis-called you instead of my sister. Your names are beside each other.”
“So you were spilling your guts to your sister then?” I smile.
“Spilling my guts?” I can hear the strain in her voice.
I let her worry for a second longer, “No I’m joking.”
“Oh my god,” she sighs. “What did I say? Please tell me it was nothing embarrassing? It had to be bad if you called me right?”
“It wasn’t bad.” It wasn’t. But she sounded really drunk for a Wednesday night and she was blabbering about drinking too much these days, and needing to stop. It made more sense now that I knew it was for her sister. “But you sounded very drunk. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Sort of. I just wanted an excuse to call her and life had given me a pretty one.
It was stupid that I needed an excuse to call y/n after everything we went through. But truth was I had tried to get on with my life after we drifted away. And I think I did a decent job. I made the missing part shaped like y/n smaller and smaller until it didn’t bother me as much she wasn’t around. That we didn’t talk.
It was weird because she was a constant for a year—whether I liked it or not we had to be around each other all the time while she worked for me. Right up to the end even as things soured, as I wore regret like a second skin and forced myself to continue being the dick that she came to know me as.
And then she left and it felt like loosening my tie; breathing a little easier because I wasn’t always so hyperaware of her in the same room or next room over, about how she looked that day or the way she smelled, the joke she made or how angry she was with me.
Yet it didn’t help that she lingered everywhere.
But then I got to have her. All of her for a few weeks and letting her go after that felt more akin to torture than living with the regret for months while she worked for me. It was worse because I had her and I had to let her go.
I thought I knew what falling felt like, what it felt like to love somebody in all their flaws and be seen in return. But then I met y/n, fell for y/n, and everything changed.
“I’m okay,” she says softly. “I’m home in bed now.”
“Good,” I want to ask her about him. The bloke that answered the phone.
“Where are you?” She asks suddenly. “Isn’t it very early there?”
“Nearly half past 6,” I say looking at my watch. “And I’m at the gym.”
“That’s early,” she comments.
“I’m a morning gym person now.”
“Watch out world,” she says. It’s sleepy and makes me think of her curled into me on the sofa as our voices dim into sleep. Then nudging her to stay over and falling asleep in bed with me. So many hours of movies gone unwatched because we were too busy just being in each other’s presence.
The thing was, I had to let her go; you can’t cage a bright and vibrant woman like her. But it hurt doing that.
It sucked being selfless.
“You sound tired,” I say even though I want her on the line. Even if it’s to hear the sound of her breathing. “You should go to bed.”
“Sorry,” she whispers. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”
My breath catches in my throat. I wanted to worry about her, to be close to her enough to worry. And the want of it feels like being punched in the gut.
“You there?” She asks.
“Yeah. Yep, sorry.” I clear my throat. “I’m still here. And it’s fine. I know what can happen when you get drunk, I’m glad you left me the voicemail.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” I miss you. I miss you so often I worry I’ll be stuck with the loss of you forever. And I care so much about you that I can’t risk ruining your life by having you.
“At least I didn’t have to go to the hospital this time.” She jokes. Her speech grows slower as I’m sure sleep pulls her in.
“No. Seemed like you would’ve had help though.” I comment. Fuck. I couldn’t resist.
“If I knew any better Mr. Styles,” she says. “I’d think that sounds like jealousy.”
She’s teasing me, I can hear it in her voice. But my heart pounds as she calls me out.
“Goodnight y/n,” I say cowardly.
“Goodnight Harry,” she replies. I wait for her to hang up first.
That morning, I have an incredibly productive gym session.
Your POV:
I remember last night in bits and pieces and I’m mostly embarrassed but I can’t stop hearing Harry’s voice in my head. The way he sounded when he said he was glad I left him the voicemail. How he sounded almost jealous at the idea that whoever picked up the phone could be more than a friend. I feel sucked right back to half a year ago when I couldn’t get him out of my mind.
The one thing I did know though, I had to really cut back on the drinking.
I go into work with a bag of doughnuts and hope nobody remembers last night in detail. I make sure to thank Damien and he’s as awkward as ever.
My thoughts are replaced by business and set instructions as the day goes on and I’m grateful for that.
At home I dissect the phone call with Deanna and when I’ve had enough I try to distract myself by asking about her life.
In a way talking to Harry again was like taking an elephant-sized step backwards—it felt like I was in the same headspace of wondering about him and yearning for him all over again. I found myself looking him up, checking to find new information on his life. Even when I could just text him and get the answers straight from him.
A couple weeks later as I park my car in my garage and make my way up to my apartment I get a call. It’s him.
“Hi? Harry?” I answer.
“There she is!” He says loudly into the phone. I have to pull it from my ear.
“Jeez you’re loud,” I comment.
“I need you to be louder,” he laughs. And I realize why he’s called. I check the time, it must be near midnight in the UK.
“Are you drunk dialling me?” My face stretches into a smile and it feels like a betrayal. Why did this man affect me so easily.
“I thought that’s what we did nowadays! Call each other drunk!”
“That was once,” I enter my apartment and put away my things while we talk.
“You’ve unlocked the garden door,” he continues. “And now I have stepped through. I am calling you.”
“He rhymes even when he’s drunk!”
“I write music!”
“I know,” I laugh. “Good music.”
“D’you listen to me?” He asks. “I never asked you that.”
“Mmm not really my taste,” I tease.
“S’cuse me?!” He sounds offended. “I have heard your taste and my music is for your palate.”
“No I don’t think so,” I was having fun.
“Y/n.” He says seriously. “I have heard you listening to Troye Sivan.”
“And? Are you comparing yourself with that fine man?”
He sputters and I continue winding him up until I finally confess: “I listen to your music. Just not lately.”
“Why?” He sounds sad.
“Are you drinking by yourself?” I ask. I imagine him in his living room, knocking back a few bottles.
“Yes. I’m drinking all by my lonely self. Because you’re not here.”
“Lonely self? That’s not what the papers say,” I say without meaning to.
“Y/n,” he lets out a small laugh. “Y/n y/n y/n. If I knew any better I’d think that sounds like jealousy.”
“Oh you’ve been keeping that in your back pocket!” I flush.
“Mhm,” he hums happily.
God, it hits me, what were we doing.
The line goes silent and I try to muster a positive voice to ask something to keep the conversation going but I find I can’t. I feel heavy and sad, like there’s a weight in my chest that’s pulling me down.
“Y/n,” he murmurs. Goosebumps erupt across my chest and I recall a memory of that exact voice in my ear with our hands entangled in his bed.
The ache in my chest grows stronger. So strong I nearly confess three words I barely admitted to myself.
I didn't understand it; how a man that made my life so miserable for so long could tug forth such intensity and longing.
He'd explained it to me—told me why he became what he did. And it just endeared me to him more.
Every man l've dated since, even the man I thought was it for me-Gray, never made me reach so deep into any feeling I was scraping the bottom looking for more.
He knew me enough to nudge me towards this new chapter of my life. This (forced) career change. He knew me in a way nobody else has. It was hard to let that go.
But he wasn't planning on sticking around for any of it—why.
“Why,” I start to ask. I bite my tongue before my impulsivity gets the better of me.
“What?” Harry asks.
“Oh nothing,” I try to play it off.
“You asking something?”
“Nope,” I deny.
“Just ask don’t be shy,” Harry taunts. “Y/n isn’t shy.”
“I-“ I’m tempted but I shake my head and then realize he can’t see me. “It’s nothing.”
“If it’s nothing then say it.” He pushes. He was pushy for being so drunk.
“Why did you stop talking to me?” I ask quickly.
The line goes quiet again.
“It takes two,” he replies. “To stop.”
“But why did you stop?” I ask.
“It wasn’t enough,” he states simply like it should make sense to me. But it doesn’t.
“What?”
“I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. You got cold.”
“Cold?!”
“Yes!” He shouts again.
“Too loud,” I complain.
“Sorry,” he whispers. “You got cold like…like ice. You got icy. You iced me out.”
“No I didn’t,” I deflect his accusation.
“You did! And it wasn’t enough. And I thought y/n doesn’t like me so I let you go.”
What!? I try to make sense of his drunk ramblings. It’s because I was fired from my job, I was lost and spiralling and I stopped talking. I stopped responding to his texts as much until they stopped coming altogether.
“I didn’t like you a long time ago,” I tell him. “That stopped after we talked. After you explained things.”
“Why did you stop?” He asks me instead.
“I…I was going through a rough time. I didn’t mean to but after a while I just thought it was for the better.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going through a rough time?” Harry asks with a surprising tone of clarity. “Why didn’t you let me help?”
“I didn’t want you to help.”
Maybe I did ignore Harry’s messages because I didn’t want to admit where I was. To admit that I needed his help. And I was too stubborn to admit that his connections in the industry could help me further kickstart my new career. That I could lean on him for help but it felt like cheating in an industry that liked to brag about working hard to earn where you got to. So I’d avoided him.
Jeez. I hadn’t even admitted that to myself until now. And suddenly the shame comes back tenfold. A creeping heat spreads up my neck alongside a slow squeezing of my chest as the silence stretches. I feel exposed and I want to bury myself under my blankets until the feeling passes.
“Why?” His voice breaks a little. I grit my teeth.
“I don’t know.”
“Y/n,” he says my name again and I want to cry. Because I say I don’t know but I do. And so does he. “Why are you building your walls again?”
I can’t speak, I’m so choked up with emotion and the last thing I want to do is cry over the phone to a drunk Harry. Unless this conversation sobered him up. Which is even more embarrassing.
"What do want us to be?" He asks suddenly.
"You can't ask me that," I say nervously, but the question zips through me in a frenzy.
"No you're right" he sighs noisily. "I think about you.”
"Me too," | whisper. Did he think about me when he was with all those women, I want to ask. Or was it subject to certain moments only.
"You ruined me y/n," he says it so softly I think maybe he hasn't said it at all. But he repeats it even lower and I know I didn't hear it twice.
My heart sings the same tune, and then I realize: how did I expect him to stay in touch and continue on with our lives when part of us would always be looking back at each other.
“I should go,” I try to keep my voice steady. “It’s getting late and Deanna’s coming home soon and I have to-“
“Okay,” he says but the word is laced with more. It’s okay.
“Okay.” I return. Will it be?
Silence again. The tears coating my lashes land on my cheeks and I wipe it away.
“I like hearing your voice,” Harry says.
“Me too,” I sniff.
“Goodnight y/n y/l/n.”
“Goodnight Har.”
***
I meant to text Harry after that conversation. I meant to apologize or say something—create a bridge that we can meet in the middle of. Even if it’s just as friends.
Me and him have been through a lot together, and so much on our own whilst around each other. We should be able to be friends, long-distance, pining but friends. It couldn’t be that hard.
And yet my fingers hover over his name every lunch break and bedtime. I think about him so much it becomes a permanent fixture in my brain.
And yet I never message him. Weeks go by and it stays quiet. Even from him.
On the final day on set I join some of the team for dinner and drinks. I stick to a single glass of wine and promise Damien I could drive myself home. I’d set him up with someone else on set who I noticed eyeing him with a lingering look and they had spent most of the night talking. It was sweet.
The group reminisces about the shoot and everyone pipes in about projects they were going to move onto soon. I didn’t have anything lined up right now so I listen to everyone else.
As night creeps up on us and people start to leave slowly, I text Deanna I was heading home too. After the night I spent drinking too much I’d taken to letting her know where I was and when I was heading home to make sure I stayed lucid enough on nights out. Otherwise we had agreed she would come and get me.
I step out with Damien and the girl he’s become attached to after tonight. We chat outside the place for a bit as her uber arrives and Damien points out he had driven today and parked nearby.
“I don’t know why we didn’t walk up long time ago,” I laugh and turn to Damien. “Don’t worry Damien I don’t need you to drive me home this time.”
“Uhh that’s good,” he says and motions behind me to my car with widened eyes.
“Yes,” I say with a smile. I spin around to my car and freeze.
The last person I ever expected to see leans against my passenger door, arms crossed and smiling with that smile that says I see you and I don’t care what you’re doing but I’m glad I’m here with you.
“Hi,” Harry says softly, his eyes twinkling under the street light.
“Hi?” I gape. “Wh-how-what are you…oh my god!”
His smile grows to a full grin as I throw myself at him and it’s like my mind and my whole world quiets. Like I never knew how loud everything was up until I felt the silence in his arms. Like everything would be okay because he was here.
“Oh god,” I turn back to Damien, remembering he was here too. “Sorry—I wasn’t expecting him to be here-“
“Is this Harry?” Damien asks.
I look at Harry and nod in response. Harry’s eyes flash with something as he leans forward and shakes Damien’s hand.
“I didn’t realize by Harry you meant Harry Styles uh it’s nice to meet you?” Damien’s awkwardness comes back in full force.
Harry’s eyes flicker between Damien and I and I remember that he thought there was something going on here.
“Damien and I worked together on set. Today’s actually our last day!”
“Yeah!” Damien fidgets. “It was a cool time…”
“Yeah?” Harry lights up slowly, realization dawning on him too. “Well I have to say thanks mate, for taking care of her the other night. That was you right?”
“Oh right when I picked up your call,” Damien nods. “Shit I didn’t realize who I was speaking to…” We laugh as Damien grows more awkward. “Anyway I’ll leave you two alone. G’night Y/N. Nice meeting you Harry.”
“Goodnight!” I wave him off.
I turn back to Harry with a huge grin. “You totally thought he was with me didn’t you?”
“Can you blame me?” He asks, his hand coming down on my waist, tugging me towards him. I go without hesitation.
“You’re here,” I take his face in my hands. “How? Why? When? Tell me everything.”
“I was in town,” he starts.
“Really?” I raise a brow.
He laughs, and hearing it rumble through his chest while his arms encircle me feels like a shot of espresso straight to my heart.
"Y/n," his mouth forms my name. I want to taste the way that feels again. See if that's changed too.
"You're here."
"How did you know?" I ask even though I knew it had to be Deanna.
“I have my sources,” he smiles secretly. We can’t stop smiling.
He brushes my hair to the side and it feels like a dream. He was here. He was gathering my face in his hands, hands I only dreamed of.
“I was in town,” he begins again. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”
My breath catches and I can't stop staring at him; he looks even more handsome and chiseled than the last time I saw him.
He looked like something that made my heart sing and my stomach tingle.
I trace my hand up his arm and around his shoulder. I want him to kiss me, I want to feel his arms around me.
He laughs which makes me laugh but neither of us take our eyes off of each other.
He reaches up, fingers threading through my hair. "Is this okay?"
"You're always okay," | say which makes him laugh again. What I mean to say is we're okay. Whatever you want to do is okay, as long as it's with me.
"I missed you." He whispers in my ear and it travels right to the centre of my heart.
"Prove it." I respond.
His mouth is delicate as it presses against mine, whispering soft words against them. They make me ache with a hunger I'd only ever felt around him.
When he looks at me again his eyes are more black then green but I recognize them the same. I don’t know how we’re going to make the trip back home when clearly we just want to soak each other in again.
I have an idea.
I open the backseat and Harry looks at me with a mischievous smile.
“Really?”
“You’re not getting lucky,” I roll my eyes with a smile. “But I really want to kiss you indecently and this is the closest place to do that.”
With a laugh he hustles in, tossing something in the backseat, and I follow, every inch of my body aflame. He shuts the door behind me and meets me halfway.
***
Waking up to Harry is better than catching up with him last night. Because things are so much more real when they remain the morning after. It doesn’t feel like just a dream.
“G’morning,” he mumbles when our eyes meet. He looks sleepy but content. Or maybe that’s just how I feel.
“Morning,” I smile, suddenly feeling shy. Last night was all passion and fun but the reality sets in this morning—what were we? Where were we going from here? “M’gonna brush my teeth.”
He follows me into the bathroom, luckily Deanna’s already headed off for work. He brushes with me in the small sink and we can’t stop looking at each other through the mirror. Like our eyes were magnets and they couldn’t help but find their way to the other’s.
“So did you really come all this way for me?” I ask as I brew us coffee. “Does anybody know you’re here?”
He tilts his head, “a couple people know I’m here but everyone thinks I’m just taking some time before we wrap up my album next month.”
“What!” I stop what I’m doing to give him my full attention. “You’re nearly done?”
“Yeah!” He comes closer to me, taking the coffee pot from my hand. “Final sound editing at the studio up north. So I’m s’pose to be here next month anyway but I’m just here early. For you.”
I’m afraid to ask, did that mean he was all mine for the next couple weeks of November? But the moment passes and I continue putting together a breakfast.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” I say for the millionth time.
“Me too,” he kisses the side of my neck and helps me carry our coffees to the table. “I intend to spend as much time with you as possible.”
He answers my unasked question and I feel like I’m glowing from the inside. “Yeah well I just finished on set so I’m unemployed until the next thing I’m on. So I’m all yours.”
“How’s that all going? Tell me.”
So I do. I take him through the sets I’ve been on and the people I’ve worked with. He asks great questions and I feel so deeply seen and not just because he doesn’t take his eyes off of me once.
The conversation leads to a repeat of last night and we end up spending most of the day in bed but I wasn’t complaining.
“I haven’t done this in ages,” he says with a kiss on my head. “Just stayed wrapped up in sheets all day.”
“I think the last time I did this was in London, with you.” I kiss his chin. “That feels so long ago.”
“Every day without you feels so long,” Harry says. “I shouldn’t have let it get this long.”
I shrug, “Yeah. I think I convinced myself it was good. We were fine like that. But now that I have you my god that was too long.”
He chuckles and pulls me into a deeper kiss. He tastes like sleepy familiarity and his hands grip me in places that have made a home for his fingers. I think I was in love with this man.
“What?” Harry asks. I must have paused. “You alright?”
“Yeah yeah,” I go back to kissing him but he pulls away. “No I’m fine! Promise.”
He believes me.
We spend a few days just doing nothing but everything with each other. I introduce him to Deanna and we do dinner together with Harry in a costume so he doesn’t get recognized. Deanna finds it very amusing and so do I. Harry seems tense and I worry it’s because we’re laughing at him but he reassures me it’s not.
I know it wasn’t going to last forever, Harry had a busy life to get back to, but I savour the slow moment we have all to ourselves.
Near the end of the week, while I’m driving us out to a hiking spot Harry brings up something on his mind.
“Can I say something, and you can’t get mad?”
“Well I can’t guarantee that.”
“Try not to?” He asks.
“Maybe.” I can’t promise him that.
“Fine I’ll settle with maybe,” he jokes.
“So are you going to tell me?” I eye him as I pull into the parking lot. He had gone silent.
“Yes, I’m getting to that.” He bites his lip. “Don’t take this the wrong way but you seem a bit distant. Not from me just…from yourself.”
“I seem distant from myself?” I laugh.
“Yeah,” he fidgets with his belt and we exit the car. “Like the y/n I know is only 70% there.”
“What?!”
“No see now don’t go getting mad love,” he says and his pet name only softens the moment slightly. “I just wonder if you’re really alright.”
“Of course I am,” I bristle.
“You always have this fire about you but right now-.”
“Jeez Har, if you’re comparing me to before in London I was more high strung than usual, constantly stressed and having personal issues with my ex. And you were making my life hell. Why are you comparing me to her?”
“No I know!” Harry tries to hold my arm but I brush him off and speed away down the trail. But his stupid long legs catch up easily. “This isn’t coming out how I meant to. But even when we were together last spring. You were still you. You just seem a little sad?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I pull away from him more. “You can’t go MIA for months then pop back into my life and tell me I’ve changed like it’s a bad thing.”
“Y/n you’re purposely not understanding me here,” Harry starts to grow frustrated beside me and it makes me less frustrated sharing the emotion. Like I said—I was very healthy. “I’m not saying you’ve changed. Or that changing is a bad thing! I think you’re a lot more confident and stronger than ever before. I’m just saying your light’s been a bit dimmer in the time I’ve been with you and I’m worried you’re going through something you’re not sharing.”
“Oh my god,” I feel tears prick my eyes and I blink them away before stuffing my glasses onto my face. “My light’s been dimmer? Seriously? I’m fine. I’m okay Harry. You don’t have to worry-“
“But I want to-“
“Well you don’t. And it’s a little late to try and pry me open and dissect what you think is wrong with me.”
“Well I’ve already pried you open it’s the dissecting part that—ow!”
I’ve hit him with my bottle and he shuts up. He was so not funny.
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “But I’m here if you want to talk.”
Too little too late, I think bitterly. And the strength of the bitterness surprises me. I stay quiet, not wanting to spew anything I’ll regret later. He trails behind, giving me the space I need.
Apparently I was bitter about our time apart. But I know that wasn’t entirely his fault—I’d admitted to pushing him away because I’d been too embarrassed. Too stubborn to accept I could use his help. So what was it?
I didn’t think I was any less myself than I was a year ago. But as soon as I think it I know it’s untrue.
I sigh and let the sunlight filtering through the coastal oaks and shrubbery warm my skin. Harry continued a steady pace behind me and I feel slightly sorry for getting so defensive.
I continue one step at a time on the worn path walked by so many. I’d done this several times with friends and it was supposed to be special doing it with Harry but I’ve just ruined it.
I ruined it.
If I was any lesser than in my personality, like Harry said, it was probably because I ruined things. And I was upset with myself. I feel like I let Harry go, that I failed at the career I thought I was going to spend a lifetime. I ruined the thing between Harry and I with pride, by pushing him away! And life’s beaten me down with it.
I haven’t been being very honest with myself. Because the truth did hurt. And I’ve been a wimp.
I glance back at Harry but his head his down, his head of curls bouncing at the effort of the uphill slope. My heart floods with warmth just looking at him and I can’t believe I’ve been an idiot.
“Harry,” I stop in the middle of the trail and he nearly bumps into me. He steadies himself on my shoulder and I grasp his hand there before he can remove it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be a bitch back there.”
“It’s alright.” He squeezes my shoulder, but his eyes are still wary. “I shouldn’t have been so insensitive. I do that sometimes.”
“No,” I rush to answer. “No you have a point. And I don’t expect you to ever stop calling me out-“
“Likewise,” he gives me a small smile that feels like relief.
“You’re right. I just don’t think I’ve sat long enough to accept it.”
His finger brushes my cheek, wiping the fallen tear. I was not supposed to cry!
“Let’s keep going,” he suggests and I’m grateful for that.
“I think,” I sniffle as my body strains to finish the final stretch of our hike. “I feel like I should be happy and grateful for where I am now. I’m actually really passionate about this new work I’ve been taking on! But a part of me feels like I’m going through the motions. And that makes me feel so shitty.”
My life in London had crashed and burned but it had felt full. Out here I was so spread apart from everyone, I no longer worked at a steady job, and the only person I had was Deanna. Sometimes I think I relied on her too much.
“I think you expect too much of yourself,” Harry puts his hand around my shoulder as we near the end and even though I’m sweaty and it’s kind of gross I let him. “I know how that goes.”
“Yeah maybe,” I brush away another tear. “I just don’t feel very present. I’m either living in the future or living in the past.”
Harry’s face twists into what I can only describe as a knowing grimace.
“Well we made it,” I gesture to the open water below us. We stand for a little while, breathing it in. It reminds me of the first music video set I’d been on with him. When we were getting along and he had seen my enthusiasm for that sort of thing.
“I’ve been living in the past a lot.” Harry admits. “More than usual.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Y/n,” he says and I turn to look at him. Right, I flush. Me.
“What the fuck did we do to each other?” I ask and we laugh. And then laugh some more, releasing a tension neither of us realized we were carrying.
We end up sitting in the ground catching our breaths again. He pulls me into his chest and kisses the top of my head.
“I don’t know how we keep screwing up.”
“It should be a record,” I laugh. “We really don’t know how to deal with each other.”
“Fucking hell,” he laughs.
“What do we do?” I look up into his eyes that are deeper than the forest we hiked through. They’re so full of love that I could drown in them willingly.
“Firstly I should tell you something, long overdue.” He says. He kisses me with a sweetness before telling me, “I’m madly in love with you. I never thought I could feel this way about someone.”
“Well I don’t know how that someone could be me,” I joke but mostly to cover up just how hard his words hit.
“You wound up in my life when I was at my worst-“
“And taken you even lower,” I joke again.
“No.” He brushes my cheek. “No, that was my own doing. You made me believe I could be better. That I should be better, that I shouldn’t be defined by past mistakes. I love you y/n.”
Woah. I wasn’t expecting that.
I scramble to sit up and face him. “Seriously?”
“So serious.”
“Harry,” I hold his face in my hands. It was true, something I barely admitted to myself but as I roll the words through my head it feels true.
“Don’t feel pressured to-“
“I love you too Harry. God. I love you. That felt good to say.”
He laughs and pulls me to him, and even though we’re smiling too hard to actually get a proper kiss in it’s one of the most romantic moments of my life.
“I don’t think this is going to solve our issues,” he says once we’ve dusted ourselves off and prepare to say goodbye to the view. “But I want to try to stay connected.”
“You’ve told me you love me there’s no getting rid of me now.” I warn him.
“I was scared,” he confesses. “I never told you I wanted you to stay. That I wanted you so fucking badly because I was scared you would get so overwhelmed by my life, how much is in the public eye and all of that. I don’t want to subject you to that-“
“We’ve already been papped together remember?” I raise a brow. He blushes as the memory surfaces.
“The night I acted like a complete arse yeah thanks for reminding me.”
“Look at you blushing,” I pat his cheek. He brushes me off. “But I know what I’m getting myself into Harry. I’ve worked for you! I know how public your life is. And we can figure it out.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes!” I reassure him.
“Does that mean…?”
“What are you asking Mr. Styles?”
“Please don’t call me that again,” he groans. “I don’t want to be Mr. Styles to you anymore.”
“No?”
“Only if you’d be Mrs. Styles.”
Now it’s my turn to flush. He laughs at me the same way I did him.
“Harry I barely know what I’m doing with my life. But I do know I love you, and I want to be with you. So I’ll figure the life stuff out as long as I get to have you.”
“That’s very romantic.” He teases.
“I know,” I smile.
“Good. I’d give up the life I have now if it means getting to have you Y/N.”
“Romantic enough,” I tease.
“Remember when we realized we had been at the same Coldplay concert and-“
“Not this again,” I groan. “I’m not bloody asking you to give up your fame and money to start a family.”
“I know I know!” He laughs. “But I just want to tell you that you could. I wouldn’t mind.”
I fan myself, “It’s getting too romantic. Let’s get out of here.”
And that’s the note on which we make our way back down to our car, completely different how we made our way up. It sets the tone for the remainder of his time here.
8 months later:
“G’morning!” I wave to the front desk and walk to the elevator that would take me up to the apartment I called home now. It was spring in the city I’ve grown to love again.
“Is that you?” Harry’s voice calls out when I walk to the kitchen.
“Yes! And I have coffee!” I shout back. I couldn’t sleep last night—first day jitters that I always got when working on a new set.
“Bollocks!” Harry’s voice sounds closer. “I was supposed to do that for you for first day on set.”
“Too bad,” I push the coffee towards him on the island but he ignores it to come to me instead.
“Is it?” He arches a brow. His hands are already running up my sides and my breathing grows shallow. He never failed to pull this reaction from me. Even when we “hated” each other.
I can’t take the teasing so I lean up to press my mouth to his and the coffee is forgotten as he lifts me up on the island and trails his lips down my body. I didn’t need caffeine when I had this.
No. Wait. I had a job to get to.
“Harry,” I try to grab his face back up. “Harry, love, I can’t-fuck.”
“Sorry,” he smiles up at me sheepishly and if I could take a shot of that face it would seriously sustain me for the rest if my life.
“I can’t.” I pout.
“I know. Sorry I got carried away.”
“Drink your coffee,” I steal one last kiss. “Now I feel like I need a cold shower.”
His laugh echoes through the room. “I said I was sorry!”
He dramatically moves to the opposite end of the island and sits down, holding the coffee up to his face. “Mmmm.”
I smile at the man who had my soul and heart. I was so glad I’d made the plunge to move back to where he was.
After Harry left the States when he finished his album we had tried our best at long-distance. I was afraid to uproot my life to London again and he was willing to move out to San Francisco but I didn’t want him to. I knew his life was in London.
We tried going back and forth for a couple months. I’d invited him back home to Burbank during one of those trips and everyone had hit it off. It almost felt like the missing piece I was looking for to take the plunge. To decide once and for all I was moving away again.
The last time I moved I was running away from everything I knew because I thought it would gain me independence and a life I craved. But ultimately I came crawling back home.
This time I take the leap running to something.
I miss being closer to family, and living with my best friend. I beg Deanna to visit every time we catch up but recently she’s told me she’s moving in with the guy she’s been dating and it makes me feel less bad about leaving her behind again.
Harry decided to move his work life out of the flat to give me privacy, now his team worked out of a small office in central and sometimes I popped by when he was there. We tried to keep ourselves out of the limelight, and so far things had stayed private.
“I’m going to pick you up tonight,” Harry reminds me. “Are you sure I can’t give you a lift there too?”
“No I want to take the train,” I insist. I needed my first day to be independently mine.
We chit chat as we finish breakfast and then I’m out the door again towards my first day. It’s a cool morning but the sun climbs into the sky and I know it was only going to get warmer.
I had promised the city that I’d be back one day and this was it. I had laid down roots once before and I was back to try once more; my heart was open enough to embrace it, healed enough to love it again.
I was embracing life again and it felt like my glow was back.
Jeff keeps asking if you’re showing up to the album launch, Harry texts.
Obviously, does Jeff not want me there? I text—it was a running joke between us ever since we came out to Jeff that he hated us together. His reaction had been surprise and then resignation. He was tight-lipped about us any time he saw us together.
He’d rather you throw the party.
I didn’t miss that part of the job. Now when I look back at my old career I’m not sure how I did it for years. It was a stress I didn’t want back.
He’d have to pay me a million dollars, I text back.
I’ll let him know your new rates
I get to the tube and sit down. As I lose service I get one last text from Harry.
I love you. Break a leg
And then: but don’t get concussed or anything
I roll my eyes but the smile stays on my face. To be loved is to be known but to be loved is also to have someone else know all of your stupid moments and know you won’t ever live them down.
I send back a heart and an eye-roll emoji.
The tradeoff was worth it…most of the time.
#writingsfromhome#harry styles x reader#harry styles fic#harry styles#harry styles fanfic#harry styles imagine#fic#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry styles series#musician!harry#harry stylesxreader#enemies to lovers#dos and dont’s#epilogue#please know I reviewed this piece only like once so take it for what it is#and yeah
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🥳🥳🥳Happy Gojo Unpacking 🥳🥳🥳
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#jjk221#we have been waiting for this for a little over three years#and that's what happened#I don't know what to feel about this
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Oh, it’s gonna be the way you always thought it would be
but it’s gonna be no illusion
Oh, it’s gonna be the way you always dreamt about it
but it’s gonna be really happenin’ to ya
#doodles#fe art tag#fe3h#fire emblem three houses#claude von riegan#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#edelgard von hresvelg#oh yes here we go again it's kai putting characters to kate bush lyrics that barely fit#look look look i've been obsessed with the line the cross and the curve for a long time#and many many months ago was like WAIT HOLD ON A SECOND i'm gonna APPLY THAT TO MY FIRE EMBLEM NONSENSE#and what do you know!! there's three characters perfect for it!!!#so i have actually had this in mind for well over a year and only recently put it to paper#the concept went through many changes#did all the florals and the characters on paper and the filling in the background digitally#i might eventually revisit this perhaps with color or a new rendering to make it look more dramatic#but for now i am just happy to have completed something that has been on my mind for so long#and during a time at which i have been making so little art#anyway please enjoy the art as usual i worked a lot on this one jshdsjdhgs
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many experiences today
#we went over to türksan to get a panoramic xray of my teeth at the dentist (no elaboration)#then we went to my favorite good place again! third day in a row. they know us very well by now#i broke the bones of one of the chicken wings i ate while biting into it from the sheer amount of force i was putting on it.#i then got called ladylike once again by im assuming the owner. the people of turkey Love me#(<-has been called ladylike by three different nearly-strangers recently)#we then went to the ice cream place just across ^^ i got oreo ice cream and gum flavored ice cream#...gum..mastic gum? is it called mastic gum. thats what google says#oh whatever. its those unflavored ones#then we went to A101 (a grocery shop) but i waited outside because there were cats there#one was really sweet but there was a little kid (about 7 years old) that screamed at it and chased it. have not had homicidal thoughts in -#- a while but i did today#then we went home#was pretty nice! im very proud of having gotten called ladylike again only because that means its Working (me being nice)#🌙rambling#OH how dare i forget. on the minibus ride there we saw a god damned horse. and people were riding it with a carrier#i was very shocked. second time i've seen horses in this place
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youtube
Blue October - Hate Me
#blue october#hate me#music video#hey loverly it's not a perfect fit but i'm still thinking of you#it's been a little over three years since you left and about two and a half years since i learned it happened#my second kid is about the same age my first was then#at the same stage of wanting to be held all through the night#i held her while i cried my eyes out wanting to be sick all over the keyboard because i couldn't accept that i'd stumbled upon your obit#i trusted so much that you were just outside of my line of my sight that it took me that long to realise you were dead#i'm still waiting for you to come home even though i know you're gone#i hope there's no afterlife so that i can be sure that you're actually free from it all#but if there is i'm going to tear you a new one once i'm done hugging you so you'd better be bracing yourself when the time comes#i still love you and i forgive you but also how could you do this to me when i was always here to help#why didn't you ask me i would have done anything#what made you think that i wouldn't have helped you through this#you took away every year we had left and i hate you for it#we could have been old hags together and instead you bowed out early and i'll be waiting until last call to see you again#but i'm tired of rambling so just understand that i'm still mad but it's because i still love you so much#Youtube
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