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callsign-magnolia · 1 year

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Imperial // Ch. 3

MATURE CONTENT (18+)

Synopsis: Tatiana Alexeyevna discovered she was a princess when she was seventeen, a young age for a girl to receive such shocking news. She's done well at learning how to be a royal, and after meeting Bradley she considers that she really could find true love while taking the throne.

Warning: Angst, cursing, smut (eventual)

Word Count: 6.1k

Chapter 2 | Masterlist

It felt like an eternity, waiting and waiting. But finally, Thursday was here. I was excited and nervous the entire day. It’s one thing to show up at the bar and see him, but to know this is an actual date! My heart seems to beat harder and harder against my chest as the day goes on! But finally, I was showered, my hair was in curls, my makeup was light, and I was dressed in a navy dress. It had queen Anne style sleeves with a sweetheart neckline and ended just below my knees. I slid on some silver heels before looking at myself in the mirror. I found everything wrong I could. My neck lace wouldn’t sit right, my sleeves kept shifting and a few pieces of my hair was standing up.

“You look beautiful, your majesty.” I turned to find Marcus standing in the doorway. “Do you think it too much? I feel a little overdressed.” He shook his head. “I think you will knock him off his feet.” I nodded, grabbing my clutch. “You will drive to the restaurant, we will follow. We will always sit within your eyesight. You know the sign if you need help, correct?” I nodded. “Shift my clutch from my right to my left.” He nodded. There were many ways I could alert security, but this was the most subtle. They know I would never carry my clutch in my left hand, I’m right hand dominant and it feels right that way. “Ready?” I nodded and Marcus led me outside, making sure I got in my car before he got in the SUV behind me. I was shaking the entire way, my nerves eating at me and I almost turned around. I don’t know why I was nervous, maybe because this was the first real date I’m going on. At twenty-five I’ve never had a real boyfriend; it bothers me quite often but I have to remind myself that my life is not normal.

My whole life I figured I’d grow up, get a job, work, date, find love. But when I was seventeen, my grandmother showed up. Telling me I was a princess; I fell into the role immediately. My mother was of nobility, and I was raised in a very proper household. So, becoming a princess wasn’t hard. Letting go of past dreams was. I wanted to be a pediatric nurse, and while I did take some anatomy and medical classes I still had to have my degree in diplomacy. I also gave up my dreams of love. It’s hard to find love as a princess and future queen. That’s why so many royal marriages are arranged, love matches are so very rare, even in these days. Even more rare when you are in line for a throne. My mind drifted and by the time I arrived at White Ibiscus, I was confused as to how I made it there alive. But I stepped out, walking inside.

“Your majesty.” Emily, the hostess bowed like she usually did when I arrived. “Oop, no, no. The guy I’m here with doesn’t know I’m royalty.” Her jaw dropped in shock. “So, no bowing for the night, no royal titles, just Tatiana.” She nodded, leading me to one of the private booths. The curtains were open to show the round booth and Bradley was already sitting there. “Hi.” He said, standing as I walked over. I took notice of how he was dressed. All black, black slacks, black shirt with a simple gold chain around his neck. I smiled at him as his hands rested on my arms, kissing my cheek. “Hi.” I whispered before we sat down. “You’re early.” I said and he nodded. “Something the Navy instilled in me. There’s no such thing as on time. You’re either early or late.” I giggled as our waiter came over. “What can I get you to drink?” We both ordered our drinks before turning back to each other. “So, I must ask. Why did you ask me on a date?” He chuckled, resting his arms on the table as he grinned at me. “Well at first it was because of how gorgeous you are. Then we got to talking and you were so smart and compassionate and you seemed to have this love for people and life. You seemed like such a genuine person.”

A blush grew on my cheeks at his words. “So, why did you say yes?” I giggled, sipping on the wine the waiter brought. “Well it was a little of the same. You caught my eye immediately, or maybe it was the bright Hawaiian shirt you had on.” I teased, remembering the palm leaves sticking out amongst the crowd of tan. He chuckled at my words. “That’s my usual fashion.” I smiled at him. “But you came up and you were so kind. Something about you just swept me away and… no one has ever done that for me before.” He smiled at me. “Swept you away, huh?” I nodded, smirking at him from behind my wine glass. “You did. Especially with that car ride.” He smiled at me, leaning on the table again. “You liked that?” I nodded. “Well, I guess if we get a second date, that may have to be it.”

Before I knew it, we ordered and our food came, and so did the question that made me choke. “So tell me about your parents.” I choked on my rice, taking a sip of my water to. “My apologies, you just caught me off guard.” He shook his head. “No, I’m sorry for asking that.” I held my hand up. “No, it’s okay to ask.” Finally I caught my breath and sat back. “My mom is from Krasivayet Gurachu. She comes from a long line of nobility. My maternal grandparents are Duke and Duchess of Chevostok. But they don’t speak to my mother.” He raised a brow. “Why not?” I pursed my lips. “They’re mad mama left the country. Calling her all kinds of vulgar names and cutting her off from everything.” He shook his head. “Mom thought she could make a better life for me here, and I think she did a great job at it.” He smiled at me, taking a bite of his steak. “And your dad?” I gave him a small smile. “He passed when I was seventeen. I never met him.” He gave me a sad smile. “I’m sorry, I feel bad for asking now.”

“No, no! I’ve dealt with it. It still hurts on occasion, but I can talk about it.” He nodded. “My dad passed when I was two.” I gave him a tight-lipped smile. He brought up a painful memory because he thought he could relate to me. “I’m so sorry, Bradley.” He smiled and shook his head. “I grew up in Virginia, mom and I flew out to see him while he was stationed on North Island. We showed up and within three days he was gone. Training accident gone wrong.” I reached across the table, grabbing his hand gently. “My dad was a RIO or a back seater, and Maverick, my godfather, was his pilot. They were doing a training exercise when another jet crossed in front of them and Maverick got caught in his jet wash. They spun out and when they ejected, my dad hit the canopy of the jet. It broke his neck on the way out and he was dead before he even hit the water.” I gripped his hand a little tighter, giving him a teary smile. “Bradley, I don’t know how to express my condolences.” I really didn’t. This was a moment in his life that set a course for him, I could tell in the way he spoke.

“It’s okay, Tatiana. Really. My mom did a wonderful job of raising me.” I smiled at him. “She really did. She raised a perfect gentleman; I’d love to meet her one day.” He smiled at me, shaking his head again. “I wish you could, but she died of cancer seventeen years ago.” My face fell, but he just looked at me with joy in his eyes. “I’m sorry. You just told me some heartbreaking things and you have a smile on your face, why?” He chuckled, taking another bite of his food before looking at me again. “It’s not often I feel comfortable sharing these things with other people. Especially ones I don’t know that well. But you make it so easy. I knew I could tell you, and I would feel good doing it.” My hand flew to my heart, holding it at his words. “You are so sweet.” He chuckled. “I love sharing pieces of them with other people. Talking about them makes me feel closer to them.” I smiled. “Well, thank you for sharing them with me.”

“So, now I must ask. I noticed a heavy military presence in the area, is North Island the biggest naval base?” He shook his head. “No, North Island is big, but Norfolk is the biggest.” I nodded. “But, they don’t call Miramar Fightertown U.S.A for no reason.” I raised my brows. “Fightertown? I’ve never heard it been called that before.” He smiled at me. “North Island is home to the United States Navy Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor Program. But we all call it Top Gun. Only the top one percent of navy pilots get invited to attend.” My eyebrows shot up to my hair line. “And you’re in the top one percent?” He nodded. “You’re looking at the best of the best!” I was ecstatic to learn this. Aviation has always fascinated me, so to know he was one of the best in the world blew my mind. “Could you show me one day?” He nodded. “You can’t get in the jet, but I could show you around.” I grinned at him. “That alone would be amazing! Just to see one of those jets take off! Wow!” He grinned at me, sharing in my excitement as we finished our food.

Dinner was a hit, we had a wonderful time and after he walked me out to my car, where we stood in the same position as we did the last time we met. “Where have you been all my life?” He asked, making me giggle. “Right here, in San Diego.” He chuckled. “Can I convince you to go on another date with me?” I nodded. “I’d love to go on another date with you, Bradley.” Soon, his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me close as his hands splayed across my back. I had never been held like this, and I was worried that he would feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest. My hands rested on his chest, returning the smile he gave me. “Can I kiss you this time?” He asked and I giggled. “No.” He smiled but groaned, resting his forehead on mine. “I want to take this slow, Bradley. I don’t want to rush anything.” He nodded, smiling at me. “We’ll go at whatever pace you want, Sweetheart.”

We stood there like that for a few minutes before we decided it was time to part. “I’ll see you for our second date?” I asked and he nodded. “Of course.” He said before leaning down and kissing my cheek. “Goodnight, Tatiana.” I grinned, as he opened my door, letting me get in the driver’s seat before closing it. He waited for me to leave, not getting in his own vehicle till I started down the road. That was… amazing, he was amazing. I didn’t want to tear myself away from him, something was pulling me to him, and I didn’t intend on stopping it.

There was a second date, and a third, and a fourth and so on. I made time for him in my busy schedule. I told him that I loved simple dates, just us, no one else. It wasn’t a lie, I love one on one with him. We went on plenty of drives, had plenty of dates on a secluded beach, which was my favorite. “Bradley! Put me down!” And he did, in the cold pacific. I stood, rushing him and putting him under before making a break for the shore. “It’s February!” I yelled as he came out of the icy water. “I was good to just sit here and tan with you.” Not that he tanned. The man applied so much sunscreen that I had to get it out of his hair. “Oh, but it was fun.” I shook my head as he came over, gently grabbing my waist. “It was not. Now I’m shivering!” It was a warm day for San Diego in February, an odd eighty degrees and laying in the sun was plenty to dry off and warm up. “Oh, I’ll get you warm.” He said before nuzzling his nose to mine. “Come on, you need more sunscreen.” I said and he whined. That was the date we had our first kiss. It was four weeks in and we were laying on the blanket together, just talking about our lives and laughing when he suddenly stopped, looking down at me from his propped up position with a grin.

His reached his hand out, brushing some stray hairs that had fallen out of my ponytail, away from my face. His large hand cradled my face as I grinned at him. “Can I kiss you?” I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth, nodding. “Yeah.” I whispered and he grinned, leaning down till his lips brushed mine. He stopped just short of a kiss, as if giving me the option to back out. But I didn’t want to, so I leaned up ever so slightly, closing the minuscule gap between us. His lips were slightly chapped, but still felt soft against mine. He held my face as I ran my hand along his arm, resting on his shoulder gently before he pulled away. Our chest were heaving as we pulled away, his forehead resting on mine. “I have been dying to do that.” He muttered before kissing me again. “I’m not going to lie, me too.” He chuckled before kissing me again.

We did simple picnics where we would just lay on the blanket when we were done, we took plenty of drives in the Bronco and I even let him drive the Maserati once. He said he preferred his car, which I can’t blame him, I do too. We went on like this for twelve blissful weeks, three months of pure joy, just us being together. But the guilt was eating at me. These three months I have kept him away from the Chateau, always meeting him and never letting him pick me up. We never went on super public dates, keeping it as personal as ever. But he deserved to know the truth and while I’ve never actually lied to him, I haven’t been completely honest either. I was thinking about this in between meetings when my phone rang. “Hello?” I asked as I leaned back in my office chair. “Hi, baby.” I could’ve squealed at the name. He makes my so giddy.

“Hi, my love.” I replied, looking out the large window behind me. “Could you come over for dinner on Friday night? Maybe even stay?” I froze. We did dinner at his house one time, but I’ve never stayed overnight. I inhaled deeply, still staring out the window. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know you said take things slow, but I just hate when you leave. I wish you never had to.” I bit my bottom lip at his words. “Okay. I’ll stay.” I heard some rustling on the other end and figured he was cheering to himself. “Oh, baby. You just made my day. So, I’ll see you on Friday?” The doors swung open and Sophie came in, rolling her hand, telling me to wrap it up. “Of course. I have another meeting so I will speak to you later.” I said as I stood from my seat. “Bye baby.” “Bye my love.” With that I hung up, following Sophie.

I had asked Marcus if I could stay overnight with Bradley. It was a no, of course, but I pleaded with him. I had decided that tonight I would tell him the full truth, who I was and what that meant. That was my deal with Marcus, I could go but this was the only time it could happen. I wish I could have a normal relationship with him, and these past twelve weeks have been amazing, but he had to know now. So, I packed a bag and climbed into the Maserati, driving to his house. I had been here before, for dinner one time, but Bradley always made our dates special and planned intricate yet private dates for us. My heart pounded in my chest as I pulled into his driveway. This was a new step in our relationship, and I had never been alone with him for this long, but I trusted him wholeheartedly and knew he would never hurt me. So, I finally worked up the courage to get out of the car, my heel clicking on the concrete as I stood tall.

Before I could reach in for my bag, Bradley swung his front door open, stepping out of the quaint bungalow to come meet me. “Hey, baby.” He said as he gathered me in his arms, kissing me softly. “Hi, my love.” I replied as he went around, pulling my bag from the passenger seat. “Come on, dinner is almost ready.” He said as he held out his hand for me. I took it, allowing him to lead me inside where the smell of chicken hit me. “Oh wow, Bradley this smells amazing. What is it?” I asked as I hung my purse on a hook by his front door. “Marry me chicken. My mom loved it.” My smile almost split my face in two at his words. I loved when he shared bits of his parents with me, giving me little insights to his childhood. He rushed into the kitchen as I stepped into the living room, spotting the picture he took from our picnic date. He set up his phone as we sat side by side on the small blanket. I tucked my legs under me and leaned into his side as he held me close.

“Aw, you had it framed!” He poked his head out, seeing what I was talking about and smiled. “Oh yeah! I have one for you around here too.” I grinned, knowing exactly where it was going. It was going to sit on the corner of my desk, right next to the pictures of my mom and grandmother. After that I wandered into the kitchen, seeing him standing over the stove, kitchen towel tossed over his shoulder. He looked absolutely delectable in his blue button up, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, wranglers on his waist. I folded my hands behind my back, slowly walking over, wrapping my arms around his midsection and resting my head on the back of his shoulder. “They should call it marry me, Rooster.” He laughed loudly; his head thrown back as he did. “That one was funny, baby!” I grinned, standing on my toes and kissing the back of his neck. I loved making him laugh, it was so deep and made my heart flutter.

Soon dinner was ready, and we sat down next to each other to eat. “So, I asked you here for a reason.” I furrowed my brows, slowly setting my wine glass back on the table. I furrowed my brows in confusion, worried about what he was going to say. Did he find out who I was? Is he breaking up with me? He grabbed my hand, his thumb brushing over the top of my hand. “I got orders.” Oh. Oh! I let out a shaky breath, taking his hand in both of mine. “Wh-when do you leave?” I asked, a few tears threatening to flow down my face. “Next week.” My face fell at his words. “How long will you be gone?” I knew he could be gone for months, and there was the chance he’d never come back. “Five months.” I bit my lip, sighing as my head hung. “Hey, baby, no.” He gently held my chin, lifting my face to look at him. “What if you don’t come home?” I had to know. I had to know the answer.

“Come here.” I got up and he pulled me over, having me sit in his lap. One arm wrapped around my waist, the other pulling my legs close. My arm went around his shoulders as he looked into my eyes. “I will fight my hardest to come home to you. You are one of the most important people in my life and I will do everything in my power to come back to you.” I wiped the tears from my cheeks, sniffling slightly. “But I want you to have this.” He said as he grabbed a felt box from the other side of the table. How did I not notice that? He opened it and I gasped. In the box sat a small gold chain with single pearl on the end.

“Oh, Bradley.” I said as I gently took the box from him. “It was my mom’s. It was gift from my dad for her first mother’s day. It’s my birthstone and I want you to have it.” I looked to him with watery eyes, running my fingers along the chain. “It’s so beautiful, Bradley. Thank you. I’ll-I’ll cherish this forever.” I said as I leaned down and kissed him gently. “Here, let me put it one you.” He took it from the box, and I turned, letting him slip it on my neck and clasp it. I looked down, running my hand over it. “Oh, God Bradley it’s so beautiful. Thank you.” I said as I turned and kissed him. “Anything for my best girl.” I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped me as he dipped me and kissed my lips again.

After that we finished dinner and I changed into some pajama pants and one of his shirts before we curled up in his bed for a movie. His arm was wrapped around my shoulder as mine was around his torso. We sat watching Forrest gump, a movie I had never seen before and about halfway through I spoke up. “Love?” After what he told me, I knew I couldn’t let this secret be a secret anymore. He had to know, he deserved to know. “Hm?” He asked, looking down at me as his hand ran through my hair. “I need to tell you something.” He hummed, kissing my head before I looked up at him. “Is it about my deployment?” I pursed my lips, turning so I could rest my chin on his chest. “Not directly.” He gave me a small smile. “Can it wait till tomorrow morning? I’ll make us some chocolate chip pancakes and we can talk about it then.” I sighed, one more night of bliss couldn’t hurt, could it? “Okay. We’ll talk about it in the morning.” He smiled, kissing me before holding me even closer. I nuzzled my face in his neck as he sunk down in the bed and it didn’t take long before we fell asleep.

A loud noise woke me up, the light from the television was blinding and I buried my face in Bradley’s chest again. A loud banging made us jump up and look at the open bedroom door. Bradley immediately got out of bed in only a pair of shorts, and he grabbed a gun from his bedside table. “Bradley!” I whispered, reaching out for his hand. He turned to me, squeezing my hand. “Stay here.” He turned away and I pulled him back. “Bradley! I-“ “I will come back for you. Just stay here, lock the bedroom door and call 911.” He kissed my forehead before ripping away and rushing downstairs. Tears streaked my face in fear, my hands shaking as I leaped up, shutting the door and locking it like he told me to.

I fumbled with my phone before I heard the familiar voice. “I know she is here! Princess!” I gasped, rushing out of the door. “You’re not going anywhere near her!” As I came down the stairs I saw Bradley with his gun pointed at Marcus. “NO!” I screamed, jumping between them. As I did, Bradley lowered the gun and moved me behind him. “Bradley, you don’t understand!” He never looked to me, watching Marcus as two more guards moved in, armed. I furrowed my brows in confusion, I was always followed my armed security. But never this many, and never with anything more than handguns, these guards had rifles.

“Princess. We must go, now.” Marcus said, looking between Bradley and I. “What happened?” I asked, taking Bradley hand to help keep him calm. “An air raid has struck the west side of the country, and an attempt has been made on your grandmother’s life.” Immediate tears sprung to my eyes and my chest heaved, fear crushing my ribcage and preventing me from breathing properly. “Wh-what?” I stuttered. “She was shot in the chest while in the palace gardens. We’ve been instructed to move your security from level one to level three.” I squeezed Bradley’s hand as I tried to calm my breathing. “And the entire village of Dmivostok has been decimated. We do not have an injury or death total yet.” A sob escaped my lips before I inhaled deeply. “Okay, okay let me grab my bag. My purse is by the door.” I said as I turned, rushing up the stairs, Bradley and one guard behind me. “What the hell is going on?” Bradley asked.

“I should’ve told you from the beginning. This is what I wanted to talk to you about in the morning.” I said as I gathered my phone and charger from the bedside table. “I am Tatiana Alexeyevna, Crown Princess of Krasivayet Gurachu.” I said as I looked up at him. His face was as solid and set as stone. No hint of emotion anywhere, even his eyes. “You lied to me.” I shook my head rapidly, more tears flowing. “No, no! I never lied to you! Everything I told you was the truth, I just didn’t tell you I was a princess!” If anything, his face became harder, turning and grabbing my bag, tossing my heels in before tossing it at me. I managed to catch it just as the guard stepped forward. “James. It’s fine.” Bradley beelined down the stairs and I followed close behind. “Bradley! Bradley, please! Can you give me a minute to explain?” He never stopped, rushing past Marcus and grabbing my purse. He held it out to me as he opened the front door. “I don’t think you have a minute.” More tears flowed at his words as I sobbed. “No, Bradley please! I can explain!” He shook his head, nodding me out the door. “I think you should leave.”

“Bradley-“ “Leave!” I stared at him in shock. I’ve never seen this side of him. My Bradley was always so sweet and kind. “Come on, your majesty. We must go.” Marcus said, his hand resting gently on my shoulder as he led me outside. So I did, I stepped onto the cool concrete, barefoot and still in his shirt as I was guided to an SUV. A guard would drive my car home as I sat in the back. A guard took my bag as I turned back. Bradley caught my eye before slamming the door shut, the loud bang making me jump. Marcus helped me in the car before getting in the passenger seat, and it was all I could do to lay in the seat and cry.

I sobbed as my heart broke clean in two, curling into the fetal position in the seat. I’ve lost part of my country, possibly my grandmother and the one man who I could’ve loved. About halfway home I sat up, Marcus turning to give me a small smile. “Take me home.” He nodded. “We’ll be home in about ten minutes.” I shook my head. “No, take me home. Back to Krasivayet Gurachu.” He shook his head. “We’ve been instructed-“ “I don’t care what your instructions are. I want to go home, and I want to see my grandmother.” I needed to see for myself if she was okay. But I also couldn’t stand to be in California if Bradley was. I needed distance, I needed to be reminded that my place here was temporary and that my true home would always be my safe haven.

“Your grandmother is in surgery.” I nodded. “She should be out by the time we get there. Ready the plane.” He sighed and I knew I had won the argument. We arrived at the Chateau where Maria helped me change before quickly packing a bag of her own as she would be going with us, and soon we were off to the private airfield. Once we arrived, I stood outside, phone in hand. I paced, smacking the phone against my hand as guards watched me and my surroundings closely. Finally, I worked up the courage and I dialed Bradley’s number. It rang once before I was sent to voicemail, telling me he was awake.

“Bradley. You must know that I was going to tell you. I never wanted to hurt you or keep this from you. You made it so easy for me to be normal. Something I haven’t had in years, and I just wanted to stay with you in blissful ignorance.” I choked on a sob, stopping as the wind blew. “You are the most important person to me too. No matter what happens between us, I think you’ll always have a piece of my heart. Even if my mistake means it’s over for us, I hope you’ll keep that piece. Because you made such an impact on my life, I’ll always carry you with me, Bradley. You changed my life in so many amazing ways and I just want you to know-“ *Beep* I let out an angry yell at the beep, telling me that was as long as my voicemail could be.

“There, there your majesty.” Maria said, pulling my head onto her shoulder as I cried. “The plane is ready. Why don’t we get you on board and into the bedroom where you can get some sleep. You’ll need your strength for when we land.” I nodded, grabbing Maria’s hand. “Thank you, Maria.” She nodded, leading me up the stairs and into the plane. I sat in a seat and buckled up, having to be buckled for takeoff. I leaned my head on the headrest, staring blankly out the window as we took off. Once we were in the sky I turned to Marcus. “Any update?” He shook his head. “None on your grandmother or the state of the village.” I nodded, standing.

“I’m going to get some sleep. Wake me as soon as we get an update or before we land. You get some rest as well. Heavens know we have a long few days ahead of us.” I slipped into the small bedroom reserved for me, reaching into my bag and pulling Bradley’s t-shirt out. The one I was wearing when he kicked me out of his house an hour ago. I slid it on and crawled into the bed, burying my face in the pillow. The shirt smelled strongly of him and his cologne, causing tears to fall from my eyes again. Why? Why couldn’t I have told him on our first date? He would’ve known and could’ve made his choice then. But now, because of my mistake, I lay here, in a bed, thirty-three thousand feet in the air, crying my eyes out for a man who doesn’t want me anymore.

After almost twelve hours I was awoken for Maria to help me get ready. I slipped Bradley’s shirt back in my bag as Maria put me in a black dress, the color of mourning, for my people and my grandmother, and unbeknownst to anyone else, my relationship. My hair was in an updo, and my makeup was simple with waterproof mascara. I stepped off plane and was escorted to another black, bulletproof SUV. I watched the royal city fly by, until we started up the hill to the palace. Every time I came to Krasivayet Gurachu, it was like coming home, the country called to me and it was a warm feeling that filled my body whenever I came. Soon we stopped at the front doors and I took a deep breath. “Announcing the arrival of her royal highness, Princess Tatiana.” Fanfare played all around me as I stepped out, immediately being flanked by royal guards as I was escorted inside. Once inside it’s like everyone let out the breaths they had been holding.

Charlotte, my grandmother’s secretary quickly walked up, giving a deep curtsy. “Your majesty.” I smiled as she stood. “Charlotte. How is she?” She smiled. “In stable condition and awake. She does not know you are here.” I nodded, looking around the grand foyer. “May I see her?” She nodded, motioning me to slip by her. “She would be delighted to see you.” I smiled, walking past her, Maria at my side until we spotted her mother, Olga. “Go.” I whispered and she did, breaking away and rushing into her mother’s arms. “How did her surgery go?” Charlotte looked at the clipboard in her hands as we walked towards the palace infirmary. “Very well. Doctor removed the bullet and managed to close the artery it hit.” I nodded, keeping the tears at bay. It took awhile to get there but soon I stood outside her room in the infirmary. I took a deep breath before swinging the doors open, seemingly catching her off guard as she stared at me, wide eyed with a laptop in her lap, her long silver hair falling in waves around her. I gave her a deep curtsy before standing, folding my hands in front of me.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” She attempted to get up, but I rushed over, keeping her in the bed. “I had to see you myself. I had to know you were okay.” She sighed, sitting back in bed, wincing slightly. “You could’ve been shot down flying here. We don’t know what state the west side of the country is in; we can’t walk outside without risking our necks. I think you are safer in San Diego.” I shook my head, sitting on the side of her bed. “You have been shot. You are fifty-four years old.” She rolled her eyes at the mention of her age. “It will take you longer to recover than it would me. This country needs a leader, now more than ever. We have we don’t know how many people dead or injured. We need to start reunification efforts, as well as planning our next move because it is likely that this will happen again and at even more catastrophic levels. I want to stay here, to help my people, to make sure you get better.” She sighed, sitting there quietly before nodding. “Who would help you? Even I need help.”

I grabbed her hand, holding it tightly in between mine. “I have Charlotte and your entire team, and it’s not like I couldn’t come to you and ask for guidance. You’re just bedridden for now.” She sighed but nodded. “Okay. You are officially our new commander in chief until I get back on my feet.” I gave her a small smile, kissing her cheek. “Something else is bothering you.” I shook my head, fighting back tears. “Compared to all this, it’s not important.” She smiled at me. “I’m asking you as your grandmother, not queen.” I took in a shaky breath, as she rested her hand on my cheek. “Your heart is broken.” She whispered and I nuzzled into her hand as I sobbed.

“I messed up.” She tsked, pulling me into her as she rocked side to side. “There, there, my love. Tell Babushka what troubles you.” I wailed as she held me, her perfume comforting me as my mind flashed to how angry Bradley was. Soon I explained everything to her once I calmed down. “I was trying to protect him. I was enjoying my time with him, more than I ever have with any other man.” She nodded. “If he loves you, he will come back to you. My darling dear, love will always find it’s way back to us.” With that, I rested my head on her shoulder again, being ever so careful not to hurt her as I recounted some of my favorite memories with Bradley to her.

Taglist: @artemissunn @dhwanishah09 @amortentiadrops

#bradley rooster bradshaw #top gun maverick #rooster top gun #robert bob floyd #bob floyd #bradley bradshaw #jake hangman seresin #natasha trace #pete maverick mitchell #phoenix #imperial

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yanderelovlies · 1 year

Note

✨Galaxy Anon ✨ here!

Oh viví but how could you deprive me of this privilege?! It’s too good lol!

Yea like i’m so picky on even getting something I want from the store. The most you will see me ask my mom is for food because I want a snack. I life really have to have a whole debate with myself if the item is something more I want than need if I really want it or I could live without it. So when people give me stuff I feel guilty or use it a lot so it doesn’t go to waste.

You sure? Some sound childish I guess I’m my opinion or many wouldn’t understand my perspective on things and call me one of those fans which makes me close up. If you’re sure I guess it be alright, and no worries you aren’t straightforward in a way that is disrespectful and I like your blunt on what you are saying. Maybe someone could be selling it somewhere! Was it limited edition or something?

You know if I was in your shoes I give up because dammit math is hard so I commend you for even still trying since I don’t understand algebra and my math teacher must’ve been horrified on my scores. Oh those sound fun especially evaluating people behavior and also traits. Ooh his dog? He must’ve been fun!

It’s my job now vivi! Gotta make you feel happiness with compliments!

Glad your spending your time also making time for them and showing you care. Still make sure you have some time for yourself! You deserve that much vivi! Also what did you sing?

Honestly the amount cases for death, assault in one or the other way is scary. Why do you think I’m such a hermit? Other than work I like staying at my house since I feel safe and just shit happens outside like what the hell?! It’s actually a surprise now when nothing goes horrible for once in the news. Have that pepper spray vivi and good for being safe! Good because while I’m paranoid I loving having my headphones on for music and well if I’m distracted enough I would be a easy target. Damn I need to learn self defense.

Thanks vivi! I mean those customers a little less common at least. Most are nice or you can leave them alone enough and they be cool. Unfortunately that is true since I’m just trying to work and some people are unnecessarily mean for some reason or get mad when you bother them to ask what they even want to drink like I’m just trying to get your order since you wanted to eat.

Lol come back during business hours.

Me too! Even if I'm buying it myself I'm always sitting there and complaining if I really need it or not. I usually miss out on good shit, but I always feel bad for spending mine or other people's money on stuff I don't need to survive. It weird lowkey frustrating.

I don't mind at all! I love hearing about people's fandoms and what they love about them. So throw them my way I wanna see 🥺🥺💕💕. Also, I found a shirt on aliexpress, but the original place I found no longer sells, but I'm gonna keep looking and hoping.

Honestly, I thought about it, but going back to my last job scares me more. So I'll take my chances with the math lol. Also, I've only taken one semester of those classes, but I still had a lot of fun and even learned some cool tips for helping manage anxiety.

Just you taking the time to talk to me makes me happy. It's always nice to hear from you. 🥺💕💕

We were singing all kinds of things. Musicals, their favorite songs, and some random they fell into line.

Me too! If I'm allowed I stay inside with all my favorite things where I am safe. As for the headphone thing me too I have these big ones that I take, but they are loud enough so I can just have them hang around my neck and still hear them.

It's like people these days forgot how to be kind to one another. It's sad, and I always feel bad for those who get the terrible treatment for just doing their job. I am glad they aren't frequent for you though.

#vivi talks #galaxy anon

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miekasa · 3 years

Note

mie.. i’m going into another eren phase.. so can you pls tell me your fav boyfie eren hcs…

Yeah, why not. I have so many random ones because he is my boyfriend <333 so here you gp

sfw

Eren doesn't actually work out all that often. He’s always been athletic, so his exercise comes in the form of playing sports, but he doesn’t really go to the gym outside of playing/practice.

Loves cake pops, more often than not “treats himself” to one after an exam or assignment, or whenever he feels like it lmfao. He basically eats it all in one bite, keeps the stick in his mouth to fidget with until he finds a trashcan.

Likes seeing you in his hoodies because, well, it’s his hoodie on you; but mostly because of the size of the actual hood on you. He thinks it’s so funny but also pretty cute how the hood alone swallows you up.

Grocery shopping with you is one of his favorite activities. He rarely goes by himself—if not with you, then with Mikasa or Armin—and all he really does is follow you around the store and occasionally put some stuff in the cart, but he still loves it. He likes running and then jumping on the cart like it’s a scooter.

No matter how many makeup tutorials he watches, or how many times he watches you do your own makeup, he doesn’t really understand how it works lmfao. He likes watching it, and he thinks you look pretty if wearing makeup is your thing, but he baffles him how a little tube of concealer brightens your under eye.

Speaking of which, he sits criss cross applesauce either on your bed or on the toilet if you’re in the bathroom, while he watches you do your makeup. Counts the steps in his head, always confuses the contour and bronzer. It’s okay, he’s learning.

He both likes and dislikes FaceTime. He likes the convenience of it (and will abuse it by calling you even tho you’ve just barely left his house), but he would much rather just go and see you; so he does. Unless there’s something keeping you apart, Eren will make the effort and the trip to go and see you, even if it’s late at night.

He gets warm very easily, but always has some sort of coat/outerwear on him, even if it’s just a light windbreaker. He usually ends up hanging it over your shoulders or telling you to wear it because you “look cold” when he wants to take it off.

He walks just like a half step behind you; technically still by your side, but trailing you by the tiniest amount. That way he gets to be with you and watch you, and also steer you away from anything/anyone else he sees ahead while you’re walking.

If he notices your shoelaces are untied, he gently pokes your shoulder to get you to stop, then bends down and ties them for you.

His phone case is brown leather, and has your initials engraved at the very bottom in a very tiny, dark green font.

Likes walking around with you at night so congrats on having your own personal guard dog for Safety lmfaoo. Sometimes you guys don’t even talk; he just wants to hold your hand and wander around, and just be with you for a little bit.

He is the one putting hair ties on YOUR gear shift and around YOUR wrist. Marking his territory lmfaooo

Learns to like coffee in college, and learns your Starbucks order pretty quickly. He’s got a very small addiction, but he always buys you a cup when he gets his own, so at least it’s beneficial for you. He doesn’t usually have much an extreme sweet tooth, but he takes his coffee with quite a few pumps of syrup and/or sweetener.

Eren loves hugs, and once he starts getting them, he refuses to go with out them. Back hugs are his favorite, whether it be you hugging him from behind, or him doing it to you; either works for him, both feel like heaven.

You know when it’s time to head home after a party/hanging with your friends because Eren will drape himself over you and gradually apply more of his body weight the more tired/drunk he gets. Regardless of whether or not he’s sloshed, he’ll still press very light and innocent kisses onto your neck and ears.

Turns out he really likes getting kisses on his cheeks. It always takes him by surprise; his eyes widen and his eyebrows raise just a bit, but he usually evens out his expression before you pull back, so you don’t see. What you do see is the sorta glazed over, happy look in his eyes, and if you look closely, you might see his pupils dilate, too.

He actually doesn’t mind reading, he just never thinks to read in his free time. When he does remember, and what he’s reading is interesting to him, he finishes the book pretty quickly—a few days, maybe a week at most—it’s kind of impressive. Then he goes on to not look at another book for a good five months lmfao.

Asked you what detergent and fabric softener you used on your sheets, then bought the exact same products to do his laundry with.

He picks you up pretty often. It’s not always tossing you over his shoulder, or carrying you bridal style, but if he needs to get to something behind you in the kitchen he’ll just. Just pick you up, turn, plop you down, get what he needs, pick you up, turn around again, and plop you right back into place. Like a doll.

Actually very good and very meticulous when it comes to cleaning. Not a single hard water stain in sight on your dishes. Sparkling countertops and tables, your oven has never looked shinier than when he’s done with it.

Doodles on his notes when he’s bored in class. Doodles on your notes if he’s bored in class and you’re there, too.

He claims to not get jealous easily, but he definitely does. His methods of dealing with it are either to (a) pout (usually only happens when he gets jealous of someone you’re telling him about), (b) find an excuse to pull you away from this other person, (c) be extremely cold to this other person, (d) pretend to be sick/tired/hungry as an excuse for you to be concerned about him/dote on him in front of this other person (this is his favorite method).

Will push your phone down/into your face if you’re laying down using it or just scrolling through your feeds. Thinks it’s peak comedy, always runs away with a little shit grin on his mouth.

He’s always tuned into you, and sometimes physically turned to you, even in a larger conversation with other people around. Finds a way to pull you into the convo if you’ve been on the quieter side, nudges at your side under the table to bother you when you’re distracted, frequently looks at you even if someone else is talking.

nsfw/suggestive

Eren really likes lazy sex, and it’s arguably one of his favorites; and for someone who’s not a morning person, he sure does like morning sex. He does this thing where he wakes up at like eight in the morning, starts feeling up on you, and eventually very lazily fucks you before you even have the chance to say good morning, then crashes and sleeps for another two hours. Sometimes he doesn’t pull out.

Always gets hard when you do try on hauls of the new clothes you’ve bought; whether it be via FaceTime or in person. You could be showing him your new sweatpants, and he’ll still find it sexy.

Can and will find time to grope you whenever possible. Getting water from the kitchen means you’re getting your ass smacked while you open the fridge. Putting on your shoes also means you’re getting your ass smacked when you bend over. Standing around debating on what to wear for the day means he’s coming up behind you to put his hands on your boobs. Doing your skincare routine in the bathroom means he’s got his hands on your hips squeezing at your skin.

Likes being bitten. Will tell you to bite him; he’ll lean down while he’s fucking you, smile wickedly when you grab and claw at his back, and you’re gasping against his shoulder, “Wanna hurt me? Go ahead, baby, do your worst.”

He loves making out with you, even if it doesn’t lead to sex; actually, sometimes, he prefers it that way. You make his head spin just by kissing him, and there’s a special kind of bliss of just rutting against each other without fucking that he loves.

Lovesssss taking mirror selfie’s with you on his lap and your back to the mirror, especially right after sex. Your head resting on his shoulder and he just barely murmurs, “Stay right there, don’t move.” Might start a collection of pics like that.

Tugging on his ear acts as encouragement, but somewhat surprisingly, that sole action doesn’t necessarily turn him on; it doesn’t turn him off, and he likes it, but it’s more... soothing? than sexual to him. What you should do instead is put your hand on the back of his neck/touch the hair near his nape.

He could have done all the work, but will still wrap you in his arms and kiss your head and tell you how good you are, how good you were to him. He really does think you fucked him 9/10 times and takes pride in it too lmaooo

Holds your jaw open with one hand, presses the index and middle fingers of his other hand against your tongue, and watches your spit pool around him. He exhales slowly at the sight, moving his fingers around to coat them evenly before pulling them out of your mouth and separating them; watches a thin line of spit connect them and groans.

Holds you jaw a lot, actually: when you’re kissing, when you’re blowing him, when he’s on top and fucking you, when he’s fucking you from behind, he’ll pull you up with one hand, use two fingers and turn your head to the side so he can kiss you.

It’s him that kinda loses it first most of the time; that gets that fucked out, hazy look in his eyes, that makes everything feel like too much so his head drops to your shoulder and he resorts to biting at your neck to further stimulate you.

Likes sucking on your tongue when you kiss. Falls in love with you all over again on the spot when you do it back to him.

You could just barely put your hands on him and Eren will groan, mutter about how you’re so sexy and how badly he wants to fuck you. Could just lay back with your chest heaving from kissing him and he’s got hearts in his eyes and his dick is hard.

#anonymous #sick and twisted and lovely and precious my boyfriend ladies and germs!!!!!#eren x reader #aot x reader #eren fluff #eren smut #eren jaeger x reader #eren.ask

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letarasstuff · 3 years

Text

Unbreakable Bond

(A/N): This is based on this post and this tiktok

Summary: A big age gap between Aaron's children doesn't have to mean that they are unable to form a strong bond

Warnings: Mentions of Haley's death and failed relationships

Wordcount: 1.8k

✨Masterlist✨

_________________________________

His life took turns Aaron never expected. It’s not the “Oh, mh, well that was unexpected”-type of turns, I talk about the “God played Cards Against Humanity with angels and decided to make it happen for someone”-type. But looking back he would not want to change a thing.

After Haley and Beth he was convinced that God, the Universe, something out there shared the opinion that romantic love isn’t the right thing for him and Aaron accepted that fact. Even more when he and Jack went into witness protection. I mean, when you are worried about the life of your family being in danger because of a stalker, you don’t think about the beautiful neighbor, who lives next door, right? Right?

Well, without going into too much detail, Hotch did think about her and she about him and vice versa. Everything went good until Aaron received the message that the team found the stalker and that it was safe to come back. He decided to come clean to his girlfriend. They talked about the possibility of moving back to Quantico.

In the end they decided in favor of the move, the final argument was the surprising announcement of her being pregnant. Hotch wants to raise their youngest where his and Jack’s roots are located. But he decides against taking a position at the BAU, instead taking a desk job in order to be more at home. He also has the opportunity to work from home after little (Y/N) was born and continues to do so until she is old enough to go to Kindergarten. Even then he takes two days the week where he stays home. Aaron learned from his decisions and mistakes he made in the past and wants to live up to them and be a better father and husband than before.

And Hotch keeps it to this day, six years later. It’s (Y/N)’s first day of school, while Jack just graduated high school and goes off to college in a few weeks. Even though they have an age gap from twelve and a half years, their parents are sure there are no other siblings with such a strong bond.

Ever since his baby sister’s birth Jack is her biggest supporter, protector and friend. Her first word was his name, though it was more of a “ACK!”, but that’s the best nickname he ever got. As soon as (Y/N) was old enough to comprehend the concept of movies, he introduced her to Star Wars. Since then lightsaber wars out of cardboard pipes are not uncommon. Last Halloween they even dressed up as Chewbakka and Han Solo. You get three guesses on who was who.

“JACK!” (Y/N) runs into her big brother’s room with an excited expression on her face. “Daddy promised to buy me a real lightsaber after I read ten books! With lights and sounds and all! Isn’t that cool?” Jack smiles. Aaron did a similar thing with him. For a certain amount of books he got a reward they discussed beforehand. This way he felt motivated to read and improved writing and reading skills.

“This is awesome. I think that means we have to go book shopping together, what do you think?” (Y/N) is not only the cool kid that has an older brother, she is also the cool kid, whose older brother has a drivers license, a car and a part time job. She nods with big eyes, speechless, because the offer sounds like heaven to her. Getting books and one on one time with Jack after he was really busy with school for weeks? This has to be heaven.

“Ok, then you put your outside clothes on and I’ll tell Dad about our plan.” At that the little girl rushes to her room, not wanting to waste any more time. Jack makes his way down to the kitchen, where Aaron wipes the table from lunch down.

“Dad, I take (Y/N) to this bookstore in DC and we’ll probably go eat ice cream after that. Is that alright?” Hotch looks up at his son. It still feels like yesterday as he told Haley that Gideon is a big no as a baby name. Now he is all grown up and just a few weeks away from the next big chapter in his life.

“Of course, just let me get my wall-” Jack cuts him off. “No need, I want to use this as a kind of goodbye thing. At least until Thanksgiving.” Aaron knows what he means. It’s his last day before he goes off to college and just a couple more until the first classes begin. The family still hasn’t told their youngest exactly what’s going on. Else she would refuse to go to school and go on with her day, insisting on using all the time they have until Jack drives off.

Two hours later the siblings leave the bookstore, both of them having a bag in their hands. Of course Jack's heavier, but both he and the cashier assured (Y/N) that they lift the same amount of weight.

“Uncle Spence will be excited when I tell him that I read Harry Potter, he told me so many good things about it”, the girl gushes. Jack nods, indicating that he is listening. Of course they also picked books that are not that advanced. Still, no sister of his shall grow up without knowing the beauty of the wizarding world. Also, secretly he is hoping for her to turn out as nerdy as he is so they get more things to talk about. His next step is superheroes, especially the Marvel ones.

They converse until they get to an ice cream parlor and order both their usuals. “Do you think you are ready for me to tell you something important?” The older one asks after they sit down at a table. (Y/N) nods, confusion taking over her face.

“Uhm, you know how I graduated from high school? I’m done with school, but I want to get a degree, but for that I have to go to college. It’s pretty far away so I can’t come home for a few months. But I’m back home when Thanksgiving is and also for Christmas.” It doesn’t matter what Jack says, a sad frown has formed on the little one’s face. “Oh. And after Christmas, will you leave again?” He nods and explains when he is off from college and when not.

“We can always skype and write letters. How does that sound? And when you get your first phone, we can even text.” That (Y/N) lights up a bit. For her first year of school she got a stationary set and is eager to use it to this day.

“I’m going to miss you so much”, she says hugging her big brother. Jack pats her back. “I’ll miss you, too.”

The goodbye the next day is a heartfelt matter. Everybody cries, especially (Y/N). She can’t fathom a scenario where her brother isn’t there for her all the time.

The following weeks are also hard for the family. The youngest refuses to sleep alone for the first three days after Jack’s leave. She is more closed off and mainly just does her school work or reads the books he bought for her. By the time Thanksgiving is only away for another two weeks, (Y/N) has read through all of them at least two times.

Her father already ordered the lightsaber he promised her. Unfortunately shipping takes several months, so the little girl still has to wait patiently for her reward to arrive. In the meantime she works on getting the next and she is already pretty close to the comic book collection she wants.

“Sweetheart, can you set the table, please? Your Mom will be here soon from grocery shopping and she will need help getting them from the car into the house”, Hotch calls for his daughter while stirring in a pot.

The little girl nods, putting her stationary set and pens aside to do as her father asked. She is in the middle of answering her brother’s last letter, telling him that she is now the one that usually has to read aloud for the class because of her advanced skill for a first grader.

Just as she sets the last piece of silverware down the doorbell rings. “Sweetie, can you please open it? This should be your mother.” Happily (Y/N) runs up and turns the door knob. Over the last few months she hit a small growing spurt and is finally tall enough to reach it without standing on her tippy toes.

“Mo-” She nearly chokes on her own saliva. The one at the door is definitely not her mother. “JACK!” (Y/N) runs up to him and jumps onto his leg. “Hey Princess. I thought now that you read your books, we need to hold the most amazing lightsaber fight in history.” With a mischievous smile he pulls two from his back, giving one to his baby sister.

It is the most epic fight in history between an elementary schooler and a college boy. They can only be stopped by their parents announcing that it is a tie between both of them and that they have to sit down, else the food gets cold.

The following weeks mostly consist of (Y/N)’s joyous laughs and cuddling with her big brother. She even insists on him sleeping with her in her much smaller bed. On his last night before going back to college, the little girl turns to him in the middle of watching her favorite movie in the living room.

“Do you promise not to forget me when you are away? Because I alway think about you and tell my friends so much about you. I told them you are a hero, my hero, just like Daddy. They wanna meet you because of that.” Jack has to hold back tears at her statement.

“I also think of you so much. All of my friends at college are pretty jealous of me having such a sweet baby sister. Maybe one time you can visit me and I can introduce you to them.” The thought of that makes (Y/N) smile and is a little consolation to the thought of her brother leaving again.

Aaron watches the interaction going down, happy to see the strong bond between his children, despite their age gap. This is nothing like he and Sean were and that is a relief for him and the worries he had in the beginning. It is a sign that he did do some things right as a father.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner

#aaron hotch x child!reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x daughter!reader #aaron hotchner x daughter!reader #aaron hotchner x child!reader #jack hotchner #jack hotchner x sister!reader #jack hotchner x reader #x daughter!reader #x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotch #x child!reader

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erwinsvow · 3 years

Text

𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.

summary: you and eren, your boyfriend armin’s best friend, have always had a strange relationship. things take a turn when armin goes home for the weekend, leaving the two of you alone on friday night.

warnings: smut, oral sex (f receiving), guilty reader feels bad, implied infidelity, masturbation, slight dumbification, dacryphilia, daddy kink

word count: 6.8k

author’s note: i once said i would never write for eren, so i guess that was a fat lie! enjoy!

You’re not sure about exactly when you became so comfortable with having Eren around. It was kind of like a two-for-one deal with your boyfriend, Armin, since he was so rarely seen without his best friend at his side. Their majors were so different that they hardly ever had classes together, and so the pair of them made up for lost time by spending all their other time together.

It wasn’t totally out of the blue if Eren would crash on the couch next to you, while you were curled up beside Armin, hands interlaced and head resting softly on his chest. You’d jolt at the impact of Eren—a huge guy compared to anyone’s standards—jumping beside you and disrupting the peaceful intimacy you were sharing with your boyfriend. Armin didn’t seem to be annoyed or frustrated, and so you wouldn’t prove to be, either. You and him would welcome Eren with a laugh, directing him to the leftovers from your take-out and enjoying the company of a man who wasn’t your boyfriend far too much.

It was easy to fall into the trap of it. Maybe Armin was always missing the way Eren’s eyes raked over your figure whenever you’d walk into the room. Maybe he was too enraptured by his marine biology textbook to notice how Eren stared at the supple skin of your exposed thighs when you took a seat next to them, dress hiking up a little or skirt much too short for a study-date with two boys. You were never much of a tease because it was so easy when you and Armin started seeing each other, so natural and comfortable that you didn’t have to try any unusual flirting methods on the golden-haired boy. As a result, he didn’t really know what bubbled under the surface of your skin and all the different thoughts that plagued your mind.

So you think that’s why it was so easy to fall into the trap of it all, making eyes at Eren while your boyfriend sat right next to you. Choosing outfits that had previously been stuffed into the depths of your closet, because you didn’t think Armin would approve. You kept up the facade in front of your lovely boyfriend, though, because at the end of the day, you loved him and no one else. You didn’t want to break his heart by cheating on him with his closest friend, even though the electricity between you and Eren made all the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and made goosebumps appear on every inch of the soft skin of your legs that Eren loved to leer at so much. No, because at the end of the day, it was plainly wrong to even think about another man when you had Armin in your life.

That’s what you told yourself when you stopped exchanging glances with Eren, started wearing blue again instead of green, and asked Armin if you two could have more time alone. You thought Armin looked confused, and he was, but for entirely different reasons. While you had been concerned with Eren’s gaze and intentions, Armin had been silently paying attention to his best friend and girlfriend. You thought he was innocent, sure, but he wasn’t stupid. And there wasn’t a thought in Eren’s head that Armin couldn’t figure out well in advance. If you wanted to fuck Eren, all you had to do was ask, but he quickly realized you were trying to be a good little girlfriend again, rather than the devilish slut you had been recently. Well, if you weren’t going to do anything, he was going to have to take matters into his own hands.

Eren had always wondered why you spent so much time with Armin, and by virtue of association, with him. Any other little girlfriend would at least take some time alone to study, but you practically spent every minute at Armin’s side or in their shared apartment. Armin’s explanation of how you didn’t get along with your roommates made so much sense, especially now that you were going to be sleeping in Armin’s room for the weekend while he went back home for a ‘family emergency’.

You had asked Armin if Eren would be going back with him in a certain voice, one that he couldn’t exactly pinpoint as he eavesdropped from his own bedroom. A mixture of uncertainty, nervousness, and excitement? Was that excitement he noted? He wishes he could look into your eyes to tell, but all he can do is listen to Armin tell you that Eren would be staying in the apartment.

Eren can almost hear your heartbeat speed up, eyes blinking quickly and heat rushing to your face. Of course Armin trusted his best friend to stay with his girlfriend for a weekend. The two people he loved the most would never betray him, and so he had nothing to fear.

Back to being the devoted girlfriend you are, you help Armin pack his bags late Thursday night. You folded clothes on his bed and tucked them into the duffel bag neatly, while Armin looked around for his books. He would be leaving right after his classes Friday morning, and so you knew by the time you returned after your classes, he would be long gone, leaving just you and Eren to fend for yourselves Friday night.

In the morning, you’re greeted by Armin pressing a kiss to your forehead as he heads to his eight-am lecture. Through the daze of sleep and heavy-lidded eyes, you grasp his hand softly in a failed attempt to keep him with you a little longer, but you hear him murmur something that distinctly sounds like “Don't worry, baby, Eren will take care of you” before he leaves.

You fall back asleep after, missing the way Armin and Eren talk briefly before he departs. You wake up in Armin’s bed alone, to the sound of your alarm. Usually, Fridays are your favorite day of the week because you have a light schedule and you get to spend most of the day with Armin. His classes end right when yours start, so you’d get to grab coffee with him and meet for lunch after, before either heading to the library to get work done or to his apartment because you knew Eren wouldn’t be around and therefore you could be as loud as you want.

But not today. You had to get breakfast alone, before going off to class and sitting in the library alone. You didn’t realize how quickly the day had passed by, in between studying and texting Armin to make sure he got home safely, and avoiding the pit in your stomach that kept reminding you that you’d be going home to Eren soon. You looked outside the library window from your seat, and saw the sun was setting, meaning the library was closing soon and that you had to face reality. You’re thinking about how to put going back to the apartment for even longer, maybe stopping somewhere to eat dinner, when your phone buzzes with a text notification.

You pick it up quickly, hoping it’s from Armin, but your stomach drops again when you see the screen lit up with Eren’s name. A singular message from him reads: Did you eat yet?

Bastard. How does he know your thoughts before you even think them?

You’re faced with two choices. Lie to him, then go get dinner by yourself, and then finally go back to your own home and put up with your terrible roommates for another night… or go to the apartment, order dinner with Eren, and avoid his lecherous looks long enough to get yourself safely inside Armin’s room with the door locked.

You feel your heart pounding inside your chest at the thought of having dinner with Eren alone. He never did anything too forward or telling with you, but you suspect it was only because Armin was always right beside you. There’s no telling what he would do if he got you alone. Your heart’s pounding, but another feeling altogether is creeping into your stomach and up to your chest, one that’s making you feel hot all over despite how chilly the air in the library is.

You’re nearly lost in your thoughts until your phone buzzing again brings you back to reality. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in as you read his text, this time longer; We can order dinner when you get here. Promise I don’t bite.

You feel like hurling your phone across the empty library, because every sane thought in your mind is telling you not to go over there, but every bone in your body feels like it’s being pulled towards Eren. Suddenly you think back to all those times you had teased him intentionally, and how strange you feel right now, like two different versions of yourself are fighting with each other. A third buzz makes your decision for you.

Am I really so much worse than those roommates of yours?

Eren was many things, but that was one thing he was not. You quickly remember just how often you had shown up at Armin’s doorstep in tears, or so angry you had steam blowing out of your ears, because of how much you hated them. You only had to deal with them for a few more months, so it was easy enough to avoid them and only stop by to get clothes and the occasional shower. To make matters worse, it was Friday night and they would definitely be having some kind of a party or get-together, which meant there was no way you’d be getting any sleep there.

I’m on my way, can we get pizza?

…

It’s only seven-thirty when you and Eren are sitting on the couch, some movie playing on the television that you aren’t paying attention to. Your nerves only let you eat a slice of pizza, while Eren scarfed down nearly half the box. You knew you were fucked when Eren opened the door, clad only in grey sweatpants and the slick sheen of sweat apparent on his entire body, from his muscular arms to his abs.

Bastard, bastard, bastard. He opened the door like that on purpose, just to see you react with a splutter and blush red.

“I’m just gonna jump into the shower, can you order the pizza?” he shouted to you while walking back to his bedroom. He came out with a towel, and you had barely processed the words because the only thing you could think about were his arms. You knew Eren was fit, anyone could tell just by looking at him, but you had no idea he was built like that. If you were a lesser woman, you would have tried to sneak glances at Eren getting into or out of the shower during all those opportunities you had, but you never did, because it felt wrong to look away from Armin’s blue eyes to focus on Eren.

But now, with no one else there to stop or distract you, your eyes were glued to his muscular figure. It wasn’t too hard to think about how easily he could pin you somewhere—up against a wall, or a door maybe, or across the dinner table. It wouldn’t even take him both hands to keep your head shoved down or keep both your arms pinned back as he—

“Hey, you okay? Did you hear me?” Eren asks again, standing right in front of you. He’s trying his hardest to sound sincere, but there’s a smirk on his face as he observes your behavior. If it wasn’t obvious before, it’s clear as day now.

“I-I’m fine. What kind of pizza do you want?”

“Whatever kind you want, just get extra cheese. Menus on the table,” he says, before turning back around and walking to the bathroom. You’re almost jaw-dropped as you watch him walk away, and hear the water turn on. You take several deep breaths, reminding yourself to stay calm. After dinner, you could go into Armin’s room and be completely fine.

You order the pizza and go into Armin’s room to sort your stuff out, looking through your bag and searching for clothes to sleep in. You knew you had packed them, but you suddenly couldn’t find them anywhere. Your shorts and t-shirt were missing, and you quickly realized you left them on your bed while you had gone to grab your toothbrush. Damn it.

Armin has a collection of perfectly soft and comfortable shirts to sleep in, so you open one of his drawers and pull out a dark green one, with some design on it. There’s no shorts that would fit you among Armin’s clothes, so you’ll have to do without them tonight. It’s fine though, considering the door will be locked and you’ll be safe and sound once you and Eren go to bed. Or so you thought.

Now you’re sitting on the couch, still dressed in your day clothes and feeling hot again. You knew Armin liked to keep the apartment on the warmer side, but you had never felt quite this warm before.

Eren glances at you with a quizzical look, and you realize your shiftiness and breathy pants are more noticeable than you thought.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re about to pass out and you barely ate a thing,” he comments, keeping his eyes on you which somehow makes you feel even worse. His gaze is piercing, and though you never really cared that Eren always looks like he’s undressing you with his eyes, it’s bothering you now more than ever.

“I-I’m okay,” you get out, before suddenly standing up and taking off the cardigan you had worn all day. “I think I just need to shower, good night Eren,” you say, before walking away much too quickly. Eren’s eyes don’t leave you until you’re inside Armin’s room once more, wondering why you’re so hot and bothered at a simple stare from him. Him, who is not your boyfriend, and barely qualifies as your friend and for some reason has you wet from looking into those green eyes for too long.

Enough.

Armin was kind and sweet enough to let you sleep at his place when he’s not even there, and you wanted to repay that kindness by having dirty thoughts about his best friend? No, it wasn’t right, in fact, it was inherently wrong. You take a few more moments in Armin’s room, inhaling the familiar scent of his fabric softener and all the old books on his shelves, before taking your towel and going to the bathroom. Eren is still in the living room, eating and watching the movie, you presume, and you wish to God he would leave you alone and go out to party or fuck some other girl, but he’s not. He’s spending a quiet Friday night at home with you.

The hot water and clean soap distract you from your thoughts, but the tension and heat growing in your body is only exacerbated when you run your hands across your body. There’s something very wrong about touching yourself in the shower when Eren is a dozen feet away and could hear you easily—but that’s a risk you’re willing to take if it meant it would get illicit thoughts of him out of your brain for the rest of the night.

One hand goes to play with your hardened nipple, as the other tenderly begins to rub circles on your clit. Your hands try to imitate Armin’s, and he’s always gentle with you, but as you let out a muffled moan, you realize it’s not Armin’s careful touch you want right now. It’s Eren’s rough fingers, fingers that would move in and out of your wetness harshly, not waiting for you to adjust to their size. Eren wouldn’t start with one, like Armin, he would go for three and keep his thumb on your clit, rubbing so fast and in just the right way, while his mouth would be on your tits—tongue doing the talking for him on your sensitive nipples. He wouldn’t care to stop if it was getting to be too much, and he wouldn’t let you come down from your high before starting again, he would just keep going. Eren would know when you’ve had enough, and just once didn’t meet his requirements for enough.

If anyone could see you right now, you could die from embarrassment, furiously fucking your fingers and completely unaware of how loud you were being as you tried to imitate what Eren would do to you. But imitating wasn’t quite enough, You were so close, you could almost feel that tight knot in your stomach unwind, just a little more—-

Knock.

“Hey, you’ve been in there a while. Everything okay?” Eren’s voice is muffled from outside the door, and the waterfall coming from the shower suddenly felt like it was pounding beside you.

Your hand covers your mouth as you let out a frustrated, stifled sob.

“Y-yeah! I’m almost done!” you call back out, fingers still inside you. You remove them with a gasp, shaking and face burning at the idea that Eren might have overheard you. You get out of the shower on wobbly legs, wrapping the towel securely around you and heading to Armin’s bedroom to change and put an end to this strange day. You don’t notice that Eren’s door is cracked open a little.

As strange as it sounds, you feel much better once you’re in Armin’s shirt and just a pair of panties, ready for bed. A nagging voice in the back of your head wants you to finish what you started in the shower, nipples hard again as the air seems cooler than earlier, but you push the thoughts aside. Another day.

You grab your water bottle to take your birth-control pill, eight forty-five on the dot, but realize its contents are empty as a result of your earlier hot flash. You tiptoe into the kitchen, extra careful because you don’t want Eren to hear and come out, but as you fill up a glass, your roommate for the night is suddenly leaning against the counter.

It should be illegal the way he says your name. Sultry and deep and rolling off his tongue without even trying. Eren doesn’t have to change a thing about him to be the very definition of the word erotic, which is coincidentally the only word you can use to describe this encounter.

He’s forgone the shirt he had on earlier, when you were eating together, and you knew he had put it on just to make sure you didn’t choke on your pizza. Just in those sweatpants again, you could see everything you had tried too hard to avert your gaze from, on display right in front of you.

“E-Eren,” you stutter out, skin burning again even though it was cold now. “I didn’t see you there.”

“It’s okay. What are you taking, there?” You flushed again at the idea of having to tell Eren it was your birth control, because it felt as if he already knew somehow. He watches you with that damn smirk and a raised eyebrow, waiting for your answer.

“It’s ibuprofen.”

“Oh.. ibuprofen, huh? That’s weird, because every time I asked you if you were okay, you said you were fine. Were you lying to me?” His tone is dangerous, somewhere between amused and angry.

You didn’t even realize he had gotten so close to you, until you tried to take another step backwards to put some distance between you two, but you were met by resistance from a cupboard, signifying the end of the wall.

“I-I wasn’t lying, I just forgot-” You hear him click his tongue. He’s dangerously close to you now, you can feel the heat coming off of his body and one more step from him would make you feel the cold breath of his exhales.

“Forgot what, baby? It seems to me that I just caught you in a lie.” Another click of his tongue. “Now, Armin always says you’re a good girl, but I don’t think a good girl would lie to me like you’ve been doing all night, right?”

Armin. The very mention of his name makes something recoil inside your chest, makes you remember how you don’t want to hurt him like this, and how much pain he would be in if he found out about this little interaction between you and Eren.

You try to push back, but Eren extends his arms up, trapping you between them and the cabinet, leaving no way for you to escape.

“Don’t you wanna be a good girl for me?”

The simple sentence is enough to send your brain, skin, heart on fire, as you let out a breath and find your head nodding up and down. Your body seems to have a mind of its own, wetness seeping from between your folds and no doubt creating a darkened patch on your panties.

“Good girl,” he mewls, dragging out each syllable as he speaks. “I thought I might have to punish you if you kept lying to me, but I don’t think that’ll be an issue anymore. Am I right?” He watches you dumbly nod again, eyes very much blank and just focused on one thing: him. He nods too, mocking your movements and smirking again. “Should we play a game? How about I ask a question, and you have to tell the truth? Sound good?”

Everything’s on fire, and you can’t hear anything besides the thumping of your heart in your chest. Long gone are your inhibitions and desperate hope of a quiet night in with your boyfriend’s roommate.

“First question…” Eren trails off quickly, looking down your body slowly. He takes one hand down from its position of blockading you and brings it to the hem of your—Armin’s—shirt. He plays with it there before continuing his sentence. “What were you thinking about in the shower earlier?”

You feel your breath catch in your throat and a quick flame erupts in your chest at the humiliation you feel—so he had heard you after all. And he interrupted you on purpose.

“You-you were listening? I-” Eren laughs, a low rumble from his chest meeting your ears as you begin to quiver from your position against him.

“I wasn’t listening so much as you were being loud. It seems to me that you wanted me to hear you, isn’t that right? Or else what kind of a filthy slut would be so loud?”

You tremble at the name he calls you, not used to sort of degradation Eren is putting you through. A small voice in the back of your head tells you that he’s not wrong, and your behavior is akin to some kind of whore. Maybe you’ve been like this all along, and you just needed the right person to bring it out of you. Your head feels utterly empty and devoid of any more thoughts, and you blank at what to say to Eren next.

“I-I’m s-sorry,” you splutter out, feeling incredibly small near Eren, who towers over you. There’s something sadistic in Eren’s gaze, but you notice him soften up at your apology.

“What are you apologizing for?” he questions, quieter than before. He knows the two of you are alone, but he can’t bring himself to raise his voice at you.

You, the bane of his existence, and a blessing all at once. Since the day Armin introduced you to him, there’s been nothing he’s wanted more than for you to meet his gaze and look at him the way you looked at his best friend, with love and adoration. He got a few lucky weeks where you didn’t immediately shy away from his eyes, when he felt like you were challenging him to do something, anything. But it went as soon as it came, and suddenly he was seeing less and less of you. Until this opportunity from Armin’s departure, that is.

“I… I was being a slut,” you whisper back to him, tears lining up at the waterline of your pretty eyes as he moves a hand to your jaw and forces you to look right at him while you speak. You shudder at the touch of his skin on yours, but you don’t want him to stop all the same.

“That’s okay, baby,” he says in an incredibly reassuring tone that has you wondering what he’ll do next. “I like my girls a little slutty, but just for me, right?” You nod again, quickly. “Besides, I have to make it up to you, you know. I stopped you right when you were getting real close, didn’t I? I could just tell from those pretty noises you were making.”

The next few moments pass by in a blur, Eren’s arms move and suddenly you’re over his shoulder, ass up and out as the shirt you’re wearing rides up. He delivers a quick slap, making you cry out, as he brings you into the room and lays you on the bed. He’s standing between your legs, a hand on each thigh keeping you spread open for him as he observes closely the impact of his actions on you.

“You’re just soaking through your panties, aren’t you? Are you really that eager for me?”

You let out a whine, not wanting to answer his question because your face is burning again at the idea of Eren staring so closely at your clothed pussy—and you let out an even higher-pitched squeal when he uses a finger to push your panties aside, and look at your wetness completely.

“So wet, and so pretty, all for me, huh?”

“Y-yes. All for you,” you let out with a moan, eager for Eren to do something. Anything at all would set you over the edge, with how you’ve been feeling these last few hours. But you think he knows that, because his actions are all teasing you and leaving you wanting more, blindly clenching around nothing at all as his fingers barely graze your clit. He lets out a laugh at your desperate antics, and you’re about to come from the slightest touch, and suddenly you feel the bed moving as Eren wraps his lips around your clit and pushes his tongue against you.

You didn’t even know you could make the noise that you let out, a scream and a cry and carnal moan all wrapped in one. You know Eren thinks the same because he looks up at you from his position between your legs, laughing against your core. The vibration from his laugh makes your legs shake even harder, as you feel Eren’s tongue attacking your clit at an even faster pace. You’re seeing stars and completely unaware of everything else, like how Eren’s nimble hands slid your panties down and tossed them to the side somewhere, landing near the bookshelf, so close to the edge when you feel his fingers teasing at your opening and plunge in without any warning.

You were completely right about your earlier predictions, feeling Eren quickly add a third finger inside you as you clasp a hand over your mouth to stop the obscene noises from leaving your mouth. You do have neighbors, after all, despite how much empty your head feels of every thought besides one; Eren.

He pulls his mouth away from your sensitive nerves for just a second, just to chastise you before continuing his actions.

“Don’t do that,” he says the words against your lips, “I want to hear you.”

You weren’t sure it was possible to feel even more pleasure than you were now, but Eren’s words made you feel feral as you let out another loud moan, this time not muffled. You think he calls you a good girl, but you’re not sure if it’s your imagination. You whine when you feel Eren pull his fingers out of you, suddenly so empty when you had been so full moments ago. You’re trying to collect the words to tell him to keep going, and how this is the second time he’s ruined your finishing, but you just can’t. The only thing that comes out is a mumble of ‘please’ and ‘Eren’

“Don’t worry, baby, I’m not stopping,” he says, pulling himself up and hovering over you. One of his strong arms is by your head, holding himself up as the other hand, the one that had been inside of you, finds its way to your mouth. “Open.”

You do as you’re told, dropping your jaw quickly for him as he shoves the fingers into your hot mouth.

“Suck.” Another command that has you reeling, doing exactly as he wants and swirling your tongue around Eren’s long fingers. They’re coated with your heady wetness, and the taste is unlike anything you’ve experienced before, but you don’t stop. It feels entirely too dirty and filthy, but you’re willing to do anything to get Eren’s approval now. His words are clear now.

“Good girl. Since you’ve been so good, I think you can cum now.”

His fingers leave your mouth quickly, and he’s fiddling with your hands now, that were previously gripping the sheets so tightly you were scared they might tear. He pulls up your shirt even more, exposing your tits to the cold air of the room, and puts your fingers on your hardened nipples. He doesn’t give a command, but you know it instinctively, that he wants you to play with your nipples while he makes you come. You’re not sure how long you’ll be able to follow his orders, but you go ahead anyways. You’re teasing yourself in front of his hungry, wolf-like gaze, as you clench on nothing every time you run your fingers over your sensitive nipples.

Satisfied, he returns back to his position between your legs. You’re crying out before his fingers even reach your wetness, and choke on your moan when he inserts three at once again. You know there’s no way you’ll be able to hold out now, and if he stops again you feel like you might explode into a million pieces. His tongue is rough against your clit, moving in the perfect motion, and one more thrust of his perfect fingers against that spot inside you will have you cumming so hard— Eren speaks against your pussy, a singular word.

“Cum.”

You feel the knot snap in your stomach and your orgasm shakes through you like a bolt of lightning. You hear yourself release a scream before you can stop it, fingers leaving your breasts and grasping onto Eren’s dark strands for dear life, because he hasn’t let up on his actions yet. He keeps going, riding you through it, tongue and mouth continuing on and fingers pumping in and out so quickly that the bedroom is filled with a crude, squelching noise. You’re not sure exactly how loud you were, but your throat is dry and scratchy, and you’re swallowing just to feel some relief. You feel Eren slowly retract his fingers, breathing heavy against the soft skin of your thigh, as you find your way back to reality. You don’t look down at Eren, but you hear him licking his fingers, tasting your wetness in such a sinful manner, you know you can’t look at him do it.

Reality sets in, and you look around your surroundings. Every single one of your senses had been preoccupied with Eren minutes ago, but now that they were free again, you take in the comfortable scent of the sheets and the lingering scent of your slick leaves your thoughts as you take in the familiar scent of old books. Your heartbeat was just returning to normal, when you look around and realize you’re in Armin’s room, on Armin’s bed, as Armin’s best friend gave you the most powerful orgasm of your life.

You sit up quickly, breathing rapidly as your shirt falls to cover yourself, and you meet Eren’s eyes again.

“Lay back, baby, we’re not done yet.” There’s a haze over your thoughts, and his words, because you want to fight him, and yell and scream at him for bringing you into Armin’s room when you already felt so horrible about what you’ve done, but you can’t summon anything. The only thing you can think about is Eren’s dick, and how it would feel inside you, and how your sensitive walls would take him. So you follow Eren’s orders, and lay back down. Eren hovers over you again, pulling at your shirt, up and over your head, and it lands with a soft thud on the carpet.

He’s looking at you now, up and down slowly, but different than all the other times. He doesn’t have to rush to take it all in this time, because you’re on display just for him now. So he takes his time, and starts with a soft kiss to the skin right above your heart, wondering if he can hear the hard thuds or if that’s just his imagination. You look at him while he continues his ministrations, wondering why he’s being so slow and careful, because you hadn’t expected this.

His lips work their way up, to your collarbone and then your neck, taking his time to suck on the skin and pepper it with kisses once he hears you hiss in pain. He murmurs an apology against your jaw, before his teeth take your bottom lip between them. He lets go soon after, too eager to feel your lips against his. He’s scared you might pull away, but you don’t. You know you’ve done something terrible, but it’s too late to take it back now.

He kisses you deeply, tongues finding each other and exchanging that heady taste of yourself. You moan into the kiss, your hands finding the side of Eren’s face and trying to push him onto yourself even harder. You’re not sure if you ever want to pull away from Eren’s lips, but he finally does, trying to catch his breath. You look into his green eyes for a moment, and find your own eyes watering.

“Don’t cry, baby. I’ll give you what you want.” Eren’s words send you scrambling again, too eager for the fullness you know is inevitable when he finally fucks you.

You feel yourself grabbing for the waistband of his sweats, but Eren’s faster than you. His one hand pins both of yours against your chest, as he clicks his tongue in that obnoxious way again.

“Patience. Only patient girls get daddy’s cock.” You want to scream at him about how patient you’ve been, all this time and all of tonight, but you bite your tongue. You don’t need Eren’s punishment on top of the torture he’s put you through already.

You let go of your resistance and watch with wide eyes as he removes the only thing that was in your way. His erect dick snaps up against his stomach once it’s freed, and you swallow without thinking, looking at the sheer size of him. He’s just as big as you had imagined, the tip a pretty, dark pink with white beads of pre-cum gathered at the top, and every vein causing you to descend further and further into a wanton state. It’s his thickness that you weren’t prepared for. If three of his fingers were such a tight stretch, you can only imagine what this would do to you. But at the same time, you think you might die if Eren doesn’t fuck you right now.

He watches with that damn smirk as you stare at his dick with more eagerness than he’s ever seen before. He holds his length in his hand, directing himself to your entrance but not pushing in. He holds himself there, running his dick over your folds and almost succumbing to the inviting wetness of your cunt, but he stops himself.

“Do you want my cock, baby?” Another surge of heat rushes through your body, feeling almost light-headed at how difficult he’s making this. But you weren’t about to start misbehaving now.

“Y-yes, yes, Eren, please-” You hiccup out, feeling yourself lose the battle against your watery eyes, as the tears roll down your face. “Please, I want it so badly, please, please, please—Oh!”

Eren pushes in without any warning, watery eyes being his own breaking point. He could have finished on the spot seeing you cry begging for his dick, and he was determined to make you cum again before then. The noises you’re making are incredibly obscene, and he knows you’re being loud enough to notify the entire floor, but he’s not going to stop you. He’s only about half way in, but he wants to be nice and let you adjust to him.

“P-please, Eren, please-” You’re not entirely sure what you’re begging Eren for. A part of you doesn’t think it’s possible to feel more full, and another part of you wants Eren to fuck you so hard you forget everything and everyone.

He’s about to chastise you again to be patient, and let you know that he’s doing this for you, not him, but he realizes his actions are louder than his words. With another thrust, he pushes his entire length in you. You moan again, this time with a breathy gasp, and he can’t help the smile on his face. You look so pretty crying, trying to take his entire dick and struggling immensely.

He thrusts slowly, wanting to make it last and make you feel every last vein of dick deep inside you, but the way your tight cunt grips him has him speeding up before he can help it. The noises filling Armin’s room are beyond lecherous, as the only sounds are of his tightening balls smacking against your skin with every deep thrust, and the lewd noise of your wetness taking him.

He’s got you on your back, sitting up between your thighs and one leg hoisted on his shoulder, and thrusting so hard you can feel his hip-bone bruising your skin. There’s only one thought left in your head, and that’s how good Eren feels inside you. The aching burn of his initial assault is long gone, leaving just the feeling of Eren filling you up. Your hands remember his earlier order and find their way to your hardened nipples again, pinching and teasing, putting on a show for Eren as he moans loudly. Every noise he makes goes straight to your core, making you clench around him harder than before.

His lithe fingers find your clit again, and you throw your head back and moan even louder at the feeling. You were so, so sensitive already and this was the last straw. One more of Eren’s thrusts, hitting that special spot inside you, and one more touch of his fingers on your clit sent you screaming to your second orgasm. You were clenching tightly, as Eren worked you through it again and kept his thrusts going. You were seeing black, screaming his name and God knows what else, as you came and waves of pleasure washed over you and heat radiated from your head to your toes.

Eren’s continued thrusts kept going, even after your pussy tightened around him. You were out of breath and sweaty, and you felt Eren’s hips stutter as he leaned forwards and found your hot mouth again. You were kissing again, his lips on yours as you swallowed his moans and grabbed his arms to steady yourself. With another rapid succession of thrusts, Eren moved his lips to your neck and groaned loudly as he came inside you. You felt the hot ropes of his cum deep inside your pussy, as he kept going and going, eventually pulling out of you with a heady moan. You could feel his cum leaking out of you and onto Armin’s sheets, as you laid incredibly still beside Eren, both of you trying to catch your breath. You were ashamed to look Eren in the eyes, avoiding his gaze still as you felt your heart rate return somewhat back to normal.

“Hey,” was all he said, breathlessly, and with a deep look in his eyes that you had never seen before. “Are you okay?”

He straightened himself up, leaning against the bed frame and opening his arms in an inviting manner. You wanted nothing more than to avoid his touch, but you felt the exhaustion in your limbs and you convinced yourself there was nothing wrong with being held by him for a few minutes. You leaned against his chest, his strong arms wrapping around you and pulling up the covers to shield you both from the cold air. You were content to fall asleep right here, every sense of yours taken up by Eren, but you couldn’t just yet.

“What are we going to tell Armin?” you breathed out dejectedly. It was the one thought that was plaguing your mind, the one thought stopping you from being happy and peaceful beside Eren tonight.

“Oh, baby. You’re acting like this entire thing this wasn’t his idea.”

...

thanks for reading! part two with armin, anyone?

#eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren yeager smut #eren smut #eren yeager imagine #eren jaeger smut #eren x reader #aot #attack on titan #attack on titan imagine #snk #eren jaeger imagine #armin arlert #fics

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haik-choo · 4 years

Note

I don't write cause I feel I don't have a good grasp on the characters personalities etc, the characterisation of akaashi post is so helpful! 👀👀 Would you do kuroo or bokuto?

a/n: I hope you like both of these! again, if yall want me to do others, let me know! these are across the span of their life, so some may seem college-related and some may seem young-adulty!

[MISCHARACTERIZATIONS OF BOKUTO AND KUROO]

bokuto kotaro.

clueless: i’ve stated this in akaashi’s post, but bokuto is extremely emotionally intelligent. he can pick up on the slightest changes in people’s demeanor or posture, he can tell if someone is sad or happy even if they aren’t good at displaying emotions. he’s not a dumbass -- and he can pick up on others’ limits and boundaries very quickly. despite his ability to read people relatively well, he has no qualms about pushing people out of their comfort zones and forcing them to do things they might hate at first, but will love later. he pushes boundaries according to your comfort level, and respects your hard limits.

only positive: a lot of people write bokuto to be someone ho’s only happy-go-lucky, or someone who rarely gets sad (aside from his moods that are less sad and more discouraged), but I think that almost dehumanizes him. he gets back up faster than most, yes, and at the end of a lost game where everyone is crying, bokuto is dry-eyed. he’s the type to get home and plop down on his bed, face-first into his pillow, lips quivering and eyes lightly watering. there are times where he feels insecure, especially when he’s younger, just because he can tell he’s different from the rest. he has a feeling that people are put-off from his personality, he has a feeling that he’s not as (traditionally/academically) smart as everyone else, he has a feeling that some people find him annoying. that’s why when he’s near his close friends he’s very loose -- he doesn’t feel the need to hold back even a little because he knows that they love him for him. this translates to his toxic trait with his lover being that he feels dejected/insecure if you ever want space. while he can read boundaries, he would really benefit from a lover who has just as few as he, because then he can be his truest self.

love-at-first-sight: he’s not the type to fall in love at one glance, he’s just not. yes, he might get interested or you may catch his attention, but he’s not going to fall in love with someone because they have a pretty smile. it’s not that he’s calculated or over-thinks his emotions, he knows exactly what he feels, it’s just that his heart is a little slow when it comes to falling in love. he’s such an energetic all-over-the-place person that love is never really on his mind (he gets into some trouble with accidentally leading girls on because he’s so friendly). when he eventually falls in love, though....oh boy. he stutters, he’s over-thinking all his movements when it comes to you -- he’s usually impulsive but with you he really, really doesn’t want to screw up. he wants everything to go smoothly -- so he’s the type to plan out a confession and actually try to stick to it. when it comes to something like love, bokuto is surprisingly slow and careful, because he knows how fragile a heart is.

never gets angry: i think most people like to imagine his anger is so rare because the image of an angry bokuto is scary, especially with his stature. and while it’s true his anger is uncommon (because he’s good at processing his own emotions and not lashing out at others), when he does get angry it can be pretty unnerving. he’s the type to slam his fist on the counter unknowingly when having a really bad fight with his lover, and he has a booming voice. he’d never hit someone, but he doesn’t realize how intimidating his physique is. anger is uncommon, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scary. he always apologize afterwards, though.

boundless confidence: i touched on it earlier, that he has bouts of insecurity, but again, i really want to emphasize that he’s not endlessly confident. honestly, maybe in the anime and manga he seems that way, but if you want to make him more human, have more life than a fictional character, you have to create limits or certain traits. bokuto is very sensitive, and the slightest thing can either inflate his ego or deflate it. plays in volleyball constantly not working may dig at his confidence, but he always re-inflates. in real life, outside the court, there are things that keep his confidence low everytime they happen. fights with his lover are one of these things; he’ll get jealous when they leave the apartment after a fight because he’ll worry about you finding someone more stable than him. jealousy alone is a solid sign of chipped confidence, something that someone as sensitive as bokuto gets every once in a while.

overall, bokuto is a lot more intelligent than what people give him credit for. he’s honest with his own emotions and can read people very well, which is probably why he’s such a people person, but he still has flaws. he does not have boundless confidence or have no perception of boundaries; he’s unbelievably understanding. he may be initially insecure, have intimidating anger, etc. but ,after all, he’s human, isn’t he?

kuroo tetsuro.

sex god: don’t get me wrong, I definitely believe that he’s had a lover or two, especially in college, and that he’s played the field a little bit. but i don’t see him as the guy that has had sex with every person in his major. he’s a genuine guy and can’t have sex with someone he’s not emotionally invested in -- despite not being a ‘player’, he’s totally gotten in trouble with a few people because they think he’s leading them on when he walks with them to class everyday.

intimidating: people always characterize him as this mysterious, sexually intimidating guy, but i just can’t see him as someone intimidating. if anything, he may be a little unapproachable because he has a really tight knit group of friends that he’s always with, but he’s not scary. he’s not the center of attention but he’s not a wallflower either, he enjoys observing people and watching drama play out, but he’s not silent and glaring all the time. he’s quite fun, he’s loud, and he enjoys embarrassing his friends in public. he’s the type to twerk in public and laugh his ass off when akaashi or kenma give him the side-eye and bro-kuto joins in. he likes to have fun, ya know? i don’t know about you, but a guy that twerks in public isn’t very scary, to me at least.

prideful: I understand why people paint him as a prideful guy, he obviously likes what he does and has a personable personality, but honestly, he’s not perfect. he often has moments where he doubts himself because of his past decisions, his career one of them. kuroo is an amazing middle blocker, and his choice to go into sports advertisement rather than an actual volleyball league no doubt haunts him at night sometimes. he thinks of the ‘what-ifs’, and he dreams of what he could be. especially since his best friend is bokuto, a professional player, it’s often on his mind. it’s a super touchy subject for him, and if someone were to question his job-choice i have no doubt that he’d get really sour and distant from that person because he’s not sure of himself either.

frat boy: he’s not someone who can’t cook, he’s not someone who sleeps at 5am everyday, hungover. he’s not the type of person to be immature in any way -- he’s got his shit together. i’m sure most people can actually see this, but kuroo is very responsible and realistic (which is part of the reason he didn’t do professional volleyball). he does his taxes, does his homework, gives out good advice, gets up early and eats everything that a healthy person should eat (in all the right proportions, too). he doesn’t even drink often, if anything he’s just a social drinker. he goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up at 6am to work out, no joke. he’s gotta keep that physique somehow.

decisive: i know i said he’s responsible, but i don’t think that translates to decisive. i can see him having a lot of conflicting things going on in his life, different wants and different paths that he wants to take but can’t keep all open. it happens in love, his career, his college major, etc. he wants a lot in life, he wants success, happiness, a good love-life, everything. when he had to choose between volleyball and a life-long, stable career, he was broken for weeks. was he good enough for his dream? was it wise to chase his dream? would it be better to get more kids into volleyball, do what he did, what he couldn’t do? in his love life he always hesitates, too: does he see a life with them? how long will they love him? will they be able to deal with him once they see that he’s not perfect? is it worth it? it doesn’t matter if he’s in love or not, because his extreme caution can come off as very distant and unwilling to let you in, hence his toxic trait. he’s indecisive, scared, yet passionate and hard-working.

overall, kuroo is full of contradiction. he wants a lot from life and is willing to work for it. he has dreams and tries to stay healthy and put himself out there, have fun, the whole shabang -- but he’s not perfect. he’s overly cautious when it comes to making important decisions simply because he can see a future with all of the different paths he can take. but honestly, isn’t everyone a little contradictory?

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write-like-wright · 3 years

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Your First Kiss With Them: Prosecutors Edition

A lovely anon requested first kiss headcanons with both defense lawyers and prosecutors, so I'm just gonna do it in two parts.

Miles Edgeworth

It happens spontaneously with Miles.

You'd gone on a few dates already and he always walks you to your door, like the gentleman he is. When it's time to say goodbye, he lingers for a moment, as if unsure how to proceed. He always flakes in the end, leaving you after an awkward hug and a face that matches the colour of his suit.

One day you're just at his place. It's one of those lazy days when you order takeout and sit at home binging Steel Samurai. A funny scene comes on, something that leaves you both in stitches. It's such a sweet thing, seeing him laugh so earnestly, some colour rising to his face. You lean over and press a kiss to his lips almost instinctively and he freezes for a second and so do you once you realise what you'd done. You apologise awkwardly, fearing you'd crossed a line.

"What are you sorry for? I quite liked that," Miles laughs. "At least one of us has enough courage to act."

Franziska von Karma

Happens in the middle of an argument, most likely. Nothing serious, of course. You're just bickering over something silly and Franziska gets a bit too smug with her comebacks. It annoys you to no end, seeing that smarmy grin on her lovely face. You stand there for a second, feeling an overwhelming urge to-

"Why are you glaring at me like that? Just because I'm right doesn't give you the excuse to act like a f-"

Silence. Cut off by a kiss.

She's completely dumbfounded when you part. It takes her a moment to regain her composure.

"Well," she says eventually. "How foolish of you. Trying to win an argument through such underhanded tactics."

You keep on bickering.

She kisses you not two minutes later when she realises her argument makes no sense and you gain the upper hand.

Diego Armando/Godot

It's the classic scenario with him.

He takes you out for a cup of coffee one rainy afternoon. You sit at the coffee shop for hours, talking and laughing, enjoying each other's company. It's dark outside before you even realise it and he offers to walk you home. The conversation keeps flowing on your way to your place and you feel a pang of sadness when it's time to say your goodbyes. You tell him how much you enjoyed your date and he just casually leans in for a kiss that lasts a bit longer than you'd expected. There's no way your neighbours won't gossip about it tomorrow.

Klavier Gavin

He texts you to wear something warm before your date. You're confused but oblige.

Klav shows up on his bike to pick you up and it all makes sense suddenly. "Come on, Schatzi, I'll show you what a real adrenaline rush feels like."

He's true to his word. He drives you around the city, the cool twilight air rushing past you and you feel more alive than ever.

Eventually, he takes you to his favourite spot, a clearing overlooking the entire city. It feels surreal seeing all the city lights intertwine with the stars above. You sit on his bike while he stands in front of you, talking about something or another. It's hard to say who leans in first, but soon enough you're kissing. It's your first kiss together, then the second and third and fourth...

Simon Blackquill

You're just fooling around at his place.

Simon is a massive tease when he drops his twisted persona. He picks little fights and picks on you just to get you worked up. It's a mixture of endearing and annoying.

He puts on some stupid show you're not interested in one bit. Neither is he, but he'd rather tease you about it than change the channel.

"Give me the remote, Simon."

"Come get it, *insert dumb nickname*"

You try and fail spectacularly. It's just play wrestling, but that doesn't change the fact he's twice your size and can pin you down with one-fifth of his weight. Not that you mind.

You're both giggling breathlessly at this point. "Do you yield, miscreant?" He asks in his scariest prosecutor voice. Dumbass. "I yield, I yield! Just let me go!"

"You must pay the toll first," he deadpans, crossing his arms.

"And what is the toll?"

"A kiss, if I recall correctly."

You buy your freedom and he lets you up, handing you the remote and letting you curl up against him on the sofa.

You pay his toll a few more times during the evening.

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi

You're very hesitant to kiss Yuti.

He's a monk. You're not even sure it's allowed.

You start wondering if you'd perhaps been misunderstanding your outings. They were clearly dates, you thought, but then again he could merely see them as you acting as his tour guide to introduce him to your culture. You're very torn on the matter.

On your way home from dinner, you pick up some dessert. Nothing fancy, just cupcakes from a local bakery. You eat them at your place while trying to explain the concept of Netflix and chill to him. It's hard to say if he's scandalized or intrigued.

"These are so good! Would you like a taste?" You ask with your mouth full, perhaps overexaggerating your food-induced moaning.

He gives you one of those sweet, gentle looks he's known for. "Certainly," he says, bridging the gap between you, pressing the softest of kisses to your lips. You're confused by his actions but you'd be lying if you said you minded.

"What was that about?"

"Hm? Oh, that was a pick-up line, was it not? I've heard about those. Although I hear that one is usually used with flavoured lipgloss."

"Yuti, I was just offering you some of my cupcakes."

"Oh," he seems a bit embarrassed now. "Do forgive me then."

"I didn't say I minded. But you can't just go around kissing people like that."

"I'll jot that down in my 'How to act like a native' notebook."

Barok van Zieks

(Heavily inspired by my incessant bugging of @bailey-reaper from my main)

It happens during his University days.

Barok approaches you at a gathering, completely red-faced while Klint and Albert snicker within earshot. He asks you to dance with him in the most roundabout way possible, to the point where you're not quite sure what he's asking of you.

You agree and are surprised at how good of a dancer he is in spite of his initial and apparent awkwardness. Must be those long, elegant legs.

He takes you on a stroll after and you end up alone on a balcony. His initial nervous demeanour slowly melts away, although he's still more than a little shy. You chat away and you even get a laugh out of him at some point. It's one of your personal victories.

It's almost midnight when you are interrupted. "Ah, brother, there you are!" Klint van Zieks suddenly joins you on the balcony. His lips curl in a knowing smirk as he turns to greet you. "Mother has sent me to get you aeons ago! I've been looking for you all over. It's time to leave. Say your goodbyes, and be quick." He leaves then, giving you a moment of privacy.

"I-I, hm, I have really enjoyed your company tonight. Thank you for the dance. I fear I must be going now."

"Wait," you say placing your hand on his arm, half expecting him to recoil. He doesn't. You get on your tip-toes and you can still barely reach his face. Thankfully, he's already slouching. You press a quick, chaste kiss to his lips, hoping no one saw you. "Surely, you wouldn't have left me without a kiss goodnight?"

His face is burning now and he swallows. "Pray, forgive the discourtesy. How careless I am. I'll bear it in mind for next time." With that, he turns and leaves you.

Kazuma Asogi

He walks up to you one day right as you're about to head to your next class, looking pensive and excited at once. You know why, you'd heard the news. Kazuma had been selected for the student exchange and you were thrilled for him - no one deserved it more than he did. You just hoped you did a good job of hiding how sad you were to see him leave regardless.

"I can't leave you here without a proper goodbye. Leave your books, come on." He convinces you to skip the rest of your classes and drags you away on an adventure as he calls it.

You spend the day together, joking around, getting food and window shopping. Finally, you settle under the shade of a tree where you usually met up in secret. He babbles away about the law, the British Empire, his plans for the future.

When he runs out of topics to talk about, he goes quiet, dark eyes searching your face. "Do you know why I stole you away today?" Stole? He's so dramatic. You shake your head. "I don't want you to forget me when I'm gone. Remember this day, and me and this." With that, he gently takes your face in his hands and leans in, claiming your lips in a heated kiss. It's so intense, you feel yourself burning under his touch. Tears prickle your eyes when you part. "I hate to so you go," you whisper weakly and he gives you a sad, understanding smile. "I know. I'm so sorry." You pull him into another kiss, lying down on the grass, hidden by the shade of the tree. You're not about to let him forget you either.

#ace attorney #the great ace attorney #dai gyakuten saiban #miles edgeworth #franziska von karma #diego armando #godot #klavier gavin #simon blackquill #nahyuta sahdmadhi #barok van zieks #kazuma asogi #headcanons #x reader #can you tell who my favourites are from this yes you can hi simon barok and kazuma how you doing babes #did i tag everyone i hope so

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bts-weverse-trans · 3 years

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210104 Weverse Magazine ‘Be’ Comeback Interview - Suga

SUGA “I'm grateful that there are still unvisited areas in the world of music” BTS BE comeback interview 2021.01.04

SUGA has this way of talking passionately with a deadpan look on his face. Full of passion about his life and music.

How is your shoulder? SUGA: Good. I think it’ll get even better once I take off this brace. Apparently, it takes several months for a full recovery, but I'm trying to get better as fast as possible.

How does it feel like to have resolved a problem that has distressed you for long? SUGA: First of all, I'm glad. The pain is one thing, but when my shoulders got worse, I couldn't even raise my arms. But when I heard that this might recur when getting the surgery at a young age, I waited for the right time and had decided to get it done early next year regardless of the COVID-19 situation. I had planned to get the surgery after the year-end stages, but I got it done this year (2020) because my doctors advised me to start preparing early for next year’s promotions and activities.

How does it feel like watching the other members doing promotions? SUGA: I can't say it feels great. I could see the emptiness because we've been together as a group of seven for so long. Not necessarily because I'm not there but because something that should be there is missing?

Is that what made you join the promotion as much as possible? You shot lots of video footage in advance and you even appeared in the Mnet “2020 MAMA” through VR. SUGA: Fake SUGA (Laughs). There’s this 3D studio where we shot it. I shot, scanned, and acted there, but couldn't see the actual result at the studio. I thought a sense of displacement was unavoidable, and that was exactly the case. (Laughs) I acted normal because it would have been aired anyway even if I hadn’t had the surgery, but it seems a lot because it’s aired after the surgery.

You must feel restricted not being able to go on stage. SUGA: The thing is, it's only been a month after I got surgery, but my absence on stage is so apparent. But my doctors keep telling me that I shouldn't be impatient and in fact, many athletes get a resurgery when they return to the field without proper rehabilitation. So I'm working on trying to care less. For the first two weeks after surgery, I felt so frustrated that I tried out new things. I even watched movies I didn't watch.

What movies did you watch? SUGA: I watched ‘Samjin Company English Class’ as it happened to be on IPTV, and now I have ‘Tenet’ on my list. ‘Parasite’ was the last movie I saw at a cinema. As the social distancing measures became stricter, I haven’t been going outside, except going to the hospital. I even eat at home. I'm also watching a lot of TV nowadays. Watching music shows like ‘Sing Again’, ‘Folk Us’, and ‘Show Me The Money 9’ made me think of what I should do in the upcoming days.

Could you elaborate on that? SUGA: A lot of candidates on ‘Sing Again’ are very talented but hadn't had the opportunity, and on ‘Folk Us’, I noticed that many took their own guitars on stage. I started playing the guitar lately and I'm having this urge to broaden my scope of music. And since my interest in the music industry in the U.S. grew, I'm getting prepared, studying English and all.

What fueled your interest? SUGA: In some ways it’s the most commercially developed market. You could lose the industry attention in a flash if it's not feasible. So in this system, you would try everything and that would be an efficient way. I want to do music for a long time, and to this end, I always want to learn more about the global music industry because I want to do music that’s loved not only in Korea, but also in the U.S., Japan and Europe.

Speaking of which, it seems BE was influenced from music of the past rather than today's trends. SUGA: I especially like impromptu music. I love the songs that were made in one take instead of being recorded several times. In this era of crossover genres, the desire to do better in music is growing inside me.

As the genres become more blended, the melody you use must be more important. Does starting to play the guitar affect your composing in any way? SUGA: I always liked using guitar sounds. And I have always liked the Eagles. If you play the guitar, it’s way easier to write songs because you can carry it along wherever you go, pluck on the strings to create melody lines. Keyboards are difficult to carry around. (Laughs) I usually work on my laptop but I had this thought that I definitely needed an instrument. It accelerates my work and improves my understanding of chords.

It makes me think you could intuitively make melodies. SUGA: It’s easier to write a song because you can intuitively make a progression and try many different things. During my work on ‘Eight’, IU had recorded and sent me a song from her phone. At the time I couldn’t play the guitar, so we tried to make sure we’re working on the same page when keeping track of each other's progress. That made me feel the need to learn an instrument.

This is actually before you started playing the guitar, but I found ‘Telepathy’ in BE very interesting. The varying melodic progressions between hooks for each member made me wonder if you wrote the melody intuitively for each part. SUGA: I tried writing a melody for the first time this year (2020), and as I started knowing the fun of music, it opened a lot of new doors for me. So it was kind of easy working on it. I just played a beat and wrote from the beginning until the end. Done. I wrote it in just 30 minutes. The song almost wrote itself. The trends of pop and hip-hop these days cross boundaries between vocals and rap. I like this trend.

When I listen to your singing, it feels like you’re hitting the beats rather than singing along the notes. So I thought perhaps you're singing as if you're rapping. SUGA: When you're rapping, you just think of the rhythm, so it’s like simply putting on a melody to a rhythm. To define which comes first, I think melody adds to it while writing the rap.

In ‘Life Goes On’, the lyrics ‘Thankfully between you and me, nothing’s changed’ are somewhere in between. It's not rap but it’d be mundane to say it's a mere melody. SUGA: There are obviously songs where the rap needs to be highlighted. For example, in ‘Dis-ease’ or ‘Ugh!’, you have to be good at rap. But in songs that should be easy to listen to, impressive raps are not always the way to go. Sometimes, you want smooth transitions without obstacles.

In that sense, the rap flow of ‘Blue & Grey’ was impressive. Rather than a dramatic effect that emphasizes each part, you extended the rap just as much as the slowing beat. SUGA: To be honest, this beat is difficult to rap to. The beginning of the song only has a guitar line, which made it even more difficult. I participated when we wrote lyrics for ‘Blue & Grey’ and I've always wanted to work on a song like this. It was because verse 1 talks about the theme of the song.

It seems you achieved almost everything that you wanted in BE. SUGA: I think it took less than a week to make my part in the album. After having written one or two melodies for ‘Life Goes On’, I wrote a version complete with rap, and liked it that I even worked on a separate arrangement and lyrics. Rather than pondering over the ways that might work, I choose to simply play the music and write.

Many creators are unsure even after they’ve produced good work. How do you get the conviction to release your work? SUGA: Many musicians are unsure whether they should release their music or not. It was the same for me, but the thing is, you’ll never release anything if you nitpick everything. For example, if we release 10 songs, we have a chance to unveil them in concerts or fan events. And sometimes, as we listen to the song, we think, ‘Why does this part that had bothered me no longer bother me?’ Some things might feel awkward at some point, but in time, it no longer feels awkward. Even I forget about it. So it's more efficient to fine tune, looking at the big picture, rather than thinking too much about the details. On top of that, during promotions, I don’t have the time to pick tracks that others have sent for 10 hours. It would be a success for all of us if each of us play and write a melody in their own time and collaborate with others on the details. So the way of songwriting has evolved in many aspects.

What motivated such evolution? SUGA: I think it evolved naturally. I've changed in personality this year (2020), as well as in terms of my interpretation and attitude toward life to the extent that I almost thought I've been rehearsing. How would it feel like if there were no stage to go to or anyone looking out for me? This thought made me realize the value of these things.

In ‘Dis-ease’, you sing ‘I don’t know if it’s the world that's sick’. Was it this lifestyle that changed your thoughts about your work? SUGA: Yes. When I was young, I had embraced the belief that ‘It must be my fault’, but as I got older, I realized that this is not always true. Most of what I had thought was my fault was in fact, not my fault. On the other hand, there are things that I did well and times I had been lucky.

‘I NEED U’ came out during a time when you were still thinking, “It must be me”. After the members put on a stage with ‘I NEED U’ in KBS' ‘Song Festival’, you wrote on Weverse, “It’s the same as five years ago.” How would you compare with back then? (This interview was held on December 19, 2020.) SUGA: We've matured quite a bit. And our stage performances have become more natural. I still like ‘I NEED U’. Just listening to the beat makes me sentimental, and above all, the song came out nicely. So as I was watching this and that when I stumbled across old videos. Watching them made me think that we haven’t changed much.

In what aspect haven't you changed much? SUGA: Before the social distancing measures got stricter, I talked with the photographer for BE, whom I had met four years ago. The photographer was surprised that we hadn’t changed much after all the success, even though he had assumed we’d be very different.

I'm amazed personally. I’ve had the chance to meet the members before your debut, but from your way of talking with members or others, it seems you haven't changed. SUGA: I think it's because we don’t give it a big deal about success. For example, it's incredible to be ranked first on the Billboards, but there’s also this sense of, “Okay, and?”

Even the Grammys? (Laughs) SUGA: When we got nominated for the Grammy Awards, we thought, ‘Is this real?’ (Laughs) Of course we were delighted, but it didn’t make us think, ‘We're singers nominated for the Grammy.’ If you're nominated, you're nominated, and if you get the award, you get the award. You don't get shaken by that. I know it's a great award and would be so grateful if we receive it, but we know that nothing is possible without the tremendous support of our fans. What’s more important is that the fans are more flattered than us when we receive a great award. So everyone's rejoicing, but it’s like, ‘Let's do what we have to do.’ We've been training ourselves to keep finding our places, so no one remains overexcited.

In ‘Fly To My Room’, there are lyrics that say, ‘This room is too small to contain my dream’, and ‘Sometimes this room becomes an emotional trash can, but it embraces me.’ I had this feeling that the room had been such a place and that you were accepting that you have changed. Then the essence must have remained the same. SUGA: It wasn’t easy to accept that we eventually change. But I think it's a good thing that we changed. What we did back then was possible only at that time, and we could change because of the things we had accomplished.

Then, what new things are you dreaming about? SUGA: I'm eager to continue doing music. Since all performances were canceled due to COVID-19, I had a chance to talk to so many musicians in Korea. I talked with legendary singers as well as people who are my contemporaries. Talking with them once again made me realize that I love music so much. Because music is my profession, I can’t imagine myself not doing it. I'm grateful that there are still unvisited areas in the world of music.

What kind of music do you think you’ll be engaged in in the future? SUGA: I was greatly motivated when I saw the concert of Na Hoon-a last Chuseok . I wondered how many musicians would actually be able perform and write music for so long like he has. At that moment, it occurred to be that ‘I want to be like him’. He has passion and desire, and most of all, he is a superstar. A few years ago, I took my parents to a Na Hoon-a concert, and when they watched the performance last Chuseok, they said it was way less impressive to see him perform through the TV. (Laughs)

That must explain your interest in a broader spectrum of music from instruments to composing and musical genres. Because you want to be doing this for a long time. SUGA: My goal is to continue doing music in any shape or form. In that sense, I have this great respect toward Cho Yong-pil. He takes the best sound there is and reinterprets it into his own. I think that’s something I want to emulate and keep changing and evolving so that I can continue doing music for decades to come.

The lyrics ‘Thankfully between you and me nothing’s changed’ must sound more meaningful for the fans because they will be listening to your music for a long time. SUGA: A month and a half in the current times must seem like a lifetime for the fans when we're far apart. I feel the same. But I think that's proof that we worked hard for the past seven years and that the fans have been passionately reaching out to us. I'm striving to get to them as fast as I can, and I'm eager to go on stage. I'm going through this because I want to be better on stage in a better condition, so don't be sad, and please hang in there a little longer.

Trans © Weverse

#bangtan #yoongi #weverse #weverse magazine #Be Album #comeback interview #210104 #2021

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kinkmaster3000 · 3 years

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Burping Kink Scenarios 3

(Sorry if any of these are repeats)

-Waiting until someone leaves to let out a huge belch that's been making then miserable, only for the other person to come back in because they forgot something

- “Oh… I thought you’d left… um… excuse me?”

-Holding a small burp in because they're in a situation where it would be inappropriate/ they would be embarrassed, and as time goes on, it builds up until the feeling is almost unbearable

-Motion sickness burps. Maybe they've been eating greasy fair food all day, and going on some kind of spinning ride stirs everything up. They try drinking some cold soda to calm it down, and end up letting out a lot of long, queasy, helpless burps as they walk around the park with their friends

-Being proud of a really impressive natural belch. They didn't even mean to do it, but they’re thrilled that it happened. They want everyone within earshot to acknowledge what a feat it was

-A character who's had a few too many beers letting them out with no concern in the middle of a bar/party. Bonus points if it's someone who would usually never be that rude, but their stomach feels so full from all of the carbonation/liquid and their mind is too muddled to think about anything other than relieving the pressure

-Eating a big meal at a restaurant and then having to get directly onto public transportation (like a subway or a bus). The motion unsettles the trapped air in their stomach, so despite being surrounded by people, they can’t help but let it out. People glare at them, but all they can do is apologize and duck their head

-Made even worse if it’s during rush hour or something where people are packed like sardines

-For characters who don’t really have any shame, they’ll just let them fly right in the middle of the train/bus without caring at all. If anyone gives them a dirty look, they’ll just look at them like “the fuck are you gonna do about it?”

-Similar to the one above, having eaten/drank a lot (or just being bloated in general) and having to take an elevator with a friend or a stranger, only for it to get stuck. They really don’t want to start burping, but it takes two hours to get it moving again, and they can’t hold it in for that long. The apologize profusely but they can’t stop more from coming up

-Maybe they’re in the office building where they work, and the other person is their superior who they desperately want to respect them (this one’s evil, I’m sorry)

-Or maybe they’re the type of person who holds in a burp specifically to let it out on the elevator, just because they know it’s a confined space and they think it’s funny to subject their friends or even complete strangers to it. If they get mad, they’ll just laugh and do it again

- Nauseous burping brought on by smoking/vaping too much, or sucking down too much air in the process. Maybe their on smoke break at work, standing outside the building, and end up catching the attention of people walking by on the sidewalk

-Also, burping fits brought on by taking an extra large bong hit. They hold it in too long and end up coughing before they can properly exhale everything, making them swallow a lot of air. They end up burping uncontrollably for the rest of the sesh, with each consecutive hit making it worse

-Ordering an extra large soda on a hot day and bringing it home with them. They sit down with it to work at the computer, and end up sucking the entire thing down in record time without even thinking about it. Burps start rushing out one after the other, and they’re just sitting there trying to focus while rubbing their stomach and letting out strings of long belches into their fist

-Being stuffed beyond the point of comfort, and drinking an entire bottle of soda directly afterwards. They can’t control the huge, deep burps that get dragged up from their stomach afterwards, and it’s so relieving that they don’t want to

-Just having eaten a ton in general and feeling like they’re too full to burp. Every time they try, they can only manage a soft little hiccup burp, or feel like a bit of food is coming up into the back of their throat. Then they shift from lying down to sitting up or standing, and the food shifts around enough for a massive belch to explode out of them, leaving them feeling much lighter

-Someone you wouldn’t expect having an unbelievable talent for burping. They let a huge belch fly while hanging out with friends, and just casually excuse themself. When one of their friends points out how massive it was, they just shrug and say “They’re always like that, I don’t know why”

-A character who is normally polite being very good at burping on command and not afraid to share their skill because they’re proud of it, to the surprise of everyone that knows them

-Or just a normally polite character letting out a surprisingly large belch in general, but instead of apologizing or being embarrassed (as everyone expects), they say they’re “too proud of that one to not own it”

-Someone burping on command to amuse themself or show off to their friends, only for all of the air they swallowed to end up getting stuck. It ends up getting unstuck later at an inappropriate time, such as a date or a meeting, or in the middle of a class

-A shameless character filming prank videos of them belching as loudly as possible in socially unacceptable places, to the point of getting kicked out or even starting a fight

-Also burping in random people’s faces and running away as fast as possible

#burping #burping kink #burp kink #stuffing #stuffing kink #belching #yeah so here these are #these are so gross im sorry #no im not

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an-anxious-gay-mess · 3 years

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Here's my headcanons of what neurodivergencies the lab rats (and leo) would have if I had been allowed to write this show

Adam:

-ADHD and Dyslexia

-"What do you mean the letters aren't supposed to move around?"

"Uh"

"Are you telling me most people don't have to read the same paragraph six times???"

"Uh-"

- After he got diagnosed he actually became a bit more interested in learning! It helps that most people are actually working with him now instead of just reassuring him that he's dumb -Chase especially feels really bad for teasing him so much without realizing how hard Adam had to try and researches ways to help people like him study

-Adam still doesn't go out of his way to do well though, he's fine as long as he's passing his classes

- is almost never standing still. He loves swivel chairs and will spend hours just spinning back and forth completely zoned out before he realizes he should probably eat something that day

-the only time you'll see him completely still is when he's sleeping or super upset about something. He gets RSD pretty bad sometimes and will just shut down completely when upset

Chase

-Autism, baby!!

-Gets really bad sensory overload and has a lot of meltdowns if he gets too overwhelmed

-he gets frustrated with himself a lot when he gets sensory overload and will try to ignore it, which usually makes it worse

-He has a lot of stims but he typically will only do the more visual ones when he feels safe (mostly when he's alone or with his family if he knows they won't make fun of him)

-Just. Constant info dumping. If you're going to start a conversation with him make sure you have at least 15 spare minutes to learn about the history of needle work (or whatever he's been researching that week)

-hates eye contact but will force himself for the sake of being Professional, to the point where he makes himself do more destructive stims (like pulling at his hair) or even having a meltdown

-(his family yells at him for doing this A Lot "Chase please just put on the goddamn headphones why do you do this to yourself-")

-he was kind of embarrassed about being autistic at first and still tries to hide it most of the time to prevent people from bullying him about it, but after a while he learns to accept that it's not his fault people want to be dicks, and that autism isn't something to be ashamed of

Bree:

-dyslexia and anxiety

-She's the one I have the least amount of headcanons for whoops-

-i think unlike Adam she's really embarrassed about being dyslexic and goes out of her way to avoid talking about it

-this is partially because of her anxiety too: she doesn't want to bother her teachers or anyone so she never mentions anything about getting accommodations

-because of this she struggles a lot in some of her classes, but she spends a lot of time worrying about them and studying too

-she's had a lot of panic attacks at 3 am over trigonometry

-after a while of her grades getting worse the school guidance counselor probably pulls her aside and is like "you know we can give you extra time to do tests right?" And basically gets her all the accommodations she needs

-Bree is like "wow glad I spent 2 years building that 5 minute conversation up in my head and making myself worry so much I threw up multiple times"

-she generally tries to not let anxiety control her too much, and once she gets some help from her teachers she gets way fewer panic attacks over school work

-she even tries to over compensate by trying to appear like nothing worries her even though Everything does

-she hates when her brother's occasionally go on missions without her (like if she's sick or injured), and her anxiety will scream at her the whole time they're gone

-they're always willing to reassure her that they're okay, though, and will even update her over headsets when they can

-she also worried a lot that people around her are secretly mad at her or don't like her. Her family is usually willing to reassure her that they love her, but it does tend to put a strain on relationships she forms outside of them

-also I think part of the reason she latches onto texting so much (besides the stereotypical Teenage Girl thing) is because spell check is a godsend

Leo

-OCD and autism

-tasha: uh hey buddy what are you doing?

6 year old leo: idk stacking these blocks

Tasha: oh, okay, why don't we work together to make a big tower?

Leo: no. There must be Exactly Six blocks in each tower

Tasha: okay buddy that's great :)

-the lab rats are initially very confused by some of his rituals

-for example: when he turned the lights in a room on or off, he had to flick the switch 5 times. Or at night, he had to check to make sure the door was locked three times

-they asked him if that was something that most people did in the outside world, and he explained to them what OCD was, and eventually told them about a bunch of other neurodivergences

-"wait so you said you have something called autism too?"

"Yeah, it's what makes me do that thing where I flap my hands sometimes. A lot of people with autism will know a lot of stuff about a few specific topics and will hate eye contact and other people touching them, but everyone is different"

Chase: "tell me more right now."

-that's how they end up getting diagnosed too!

-Leo tells them about different disorders (including ones they don't have) and they immediately launch onto the feeling of Are You Telling Me Other People Do This?

-they go to Big D about it and he's pretty accepting right away

-they debate a lot at first whether they want to get professionally diagnosed, but then they decide that it would be a lot easier to get accommodations at school with a doctor backing them up

-where was I going with this I'm completely spiraling

#long post #lab rats #bree davenport #chase davenport #adam davenport #leo dooley #these are kind of ooc but i havent fully watched this show in a couple years lmao

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sunflowergirl522 · 2 years

Text

Operation Boyfriend Scenario 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: you tell the boys about your “boyfriend”.

Word count: 1569

Series Masterlist

You start your day by knocking on the door down the hall from you, asking Sam and Bucky if they wanted to go out to eat after your afternoon class. You and Wanda planned that you would tell the boys while out for lunch without giving them much information about him. They had agreed immediately stating they would meet you at the usual spot before Sam was pushing you out the door so you weren’t late to class.

“You know how it is Truman, if you’re not early you’re late.” Sam had said when you tried to argue that you could stick around.

The bell above the door rings as you enter the diner the four of you always went to to eat. Wanda wasn’t with you having to work and that made you nervous about going through with this whole fake boyfriend thing. But then your phone buzzes with a good luck text from Wanda and your confidence rises again. Your boys are at the booth you always get sitting next to each other like they were expecting Wanda too. Bucky smiles and waves at you, ignoring whatever Sam was saying the moment he saw you approaching them. You can’t help but think about how good he looks in the blue henley he’s wearing.

“How was class?”

“It was alright, ran a little late, sorry if I kept you guys waiting.”

“Nah you’re fine, we got here not too long ago, got you some water.”

“Thanks Sam, who’s our server today Peter or MJ?”

“Neither apparently they both have off today so some stranger is taking care of our food.” Right after Sam speaks the waitress shows up with the drinks.

“Do you three need a minute to order?” You all take turns telling her your orders, Sam slipping up when he starts to tell her he’ll have the usual before quickly correcting himself.

“Sorry about him,” you tell her before she can leave to put your food in, “he apparently doesn’t know how to act when we don’t have our usual servers.”

After she leaves you plaster a big smile on your face and turn towards the men in front of you. “So guys, I have something to tell you. Good news, I got a boyfriend!”

“What?” Sam’s face contorts into one of shock and Bucky chokes on the water he was drinking. “When did you get a boyfriend?”

“Yesterday.”

“No, hold on I was with you yesterday, you would’ve told me if you got a boyfriend.” Bucky leans over the table on his elbows.

“It happened after you left.” You shrug as if it’s the most nonchalant thing in the world.

“First off, you’re fake for not telling us immediately. Secondly, I bet he’s a bitch.” Sam speaks pointing at you. “No, there’s no way. You’re making this up, he’s not real.” Bucky laughs at Sam and shoves his shoulder.

“Shut up Sam. He’s right though, there’s no way this is real you would’ve told us last night.” The waitress comes back then with your food and you all thank her as she places each plate in front

“He is real.” You speak as the waitress walks away.

“What’s his name then?”

“Pietro.” You let out a dreamy sigh to really sell it before shoving some fries in your mouth. Sam and Bucky share a look before speaking at the same time.

“That’s a fake name.”

“Pietro is not a real name, are you kidding me?”

“He was born in a different country, it’s a normal name there.”

“He’s definitely fake if he’s from a different country.” At Sam’s words you put on a sad face.

“What’s so unbelievable about me having a boyfriend?” You make sure your eyes start to well with tears and you just know that Wanda would tell you that you deserve an Emmy for your acting.

“Because he’s not-” As Bucky speaks Sam’s eyes go wide as he looks at your shared friend but he cuts himself off before he can finish. “It’s just unbelievable that you wouldn’t tell us.” His tone quickly goes from angry to a softer one as he moves to sit next to you. “Don’t cry Y/n, we didn’t mean to make you upset.” Just then your phone rings and Wanda’s face pops up on the screen. You excuse yourself to take it outside before answering it.

“How’s it going?”

“Great, they’re eating it up. They thought he was fake for a while but I’m pretty sure I just sold it with the tears.” She cheers for you on the other end and then it’s silent for a beat before you continue. “I feel a little bad about it though. I don’t like lying to them Wands.”

“I know Y/n, I know. But this is gonna work, I just know it. And if you get too uncomfortable at all it can all be over.”

“You’re probably right, you always are. It helps to remember that Pietro is okay with this too. Now did you just call me to ask me how it’s going.”

“Yes and no. My ride bailed on me and I wanted to know if you could get me from work?” She phrases it as a question and you laugh just knowing she has a sheepish smile on her face.

“Yeah, let me ask the boys if they’re alright with me bailing first.”

“Tell them I’m sorry for stealing you away and I’ll repay them in baked goods.” You hang up the phone and head back in where Bucky and Sam seem to be in deep conversion.

“Dude you shoulda just told her.”

“No Sam I-hey Y/n, what did Wanda want?”

“She needs a ride from work, do you guys care if I go? She said she’ll repay you in baked goods.”

“Yeah, no go ahead. I’ll bring your food over when we get home.” Bucky speaks before Sam can tell you that Wanda can find her own way home.

“I’m really sorry about this guys, I’ll venmo you for the food.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Later you and Wanda are talking about what you’re gonna do about food since she pulled you away from your meal and the two of you haven’t gone shopping in a while when her phone rings. She answers it, saying hi to Pietro and telling him that you say hi as well before there’s that familiar knock on the door. You open it revealing Bucky with a takeout bag from the diner.

“Sorry I made it over so late doll, Sam took forever to eat his food.” You giggle at his statement and the eyeroll he followed with it.

“It’s fine Buck, I feel like I just left there anyway. Thanks though, we were just wondering what to do about food, now it’ll just be Wanda figuring it out.” You take the bag from him, your hands brushing against each other a little bit longer than what would be normal.

“What do you mean you’re getting kicked out?!” Wanda’s screech draws both of your attention.

“She’s on the phone with her twin.” You explain to Bucky before holding the door open wider. “Do you wanna come in?”

“I’d love to but I’ve got a shit ton of studying to do for midterms. Are we all still on for movie night tomorrow though?”

“As far as I know, yeah. I’ll double check with Wanda when she’s off the phone.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later Y/n.”

“Talk to you later Buck.” You watch him walk down the hall to his door before you wave to each other as he opens it. As you head back into your apartment you focus again on Wanda’s voice.

“Alright, well you better keep me updated Pietro. If you just show up like a lost puppy on our doorstep I swear I will send you to the pound. Love you too, bye.” She groans before thunking her head on the table.

“What was that about?”

“Pietro might be staying with us for a bit. Apparently his roommate has complained one too many times about him being loud and so they’re making him move out of the dorms.”

“Oh. Well I have good news.” You put the bag on the table in front of her. “I have chicken tenders that we can split while you explain to me how that’s gonna work.”

“You really are the best you know.”

“I know, where’s he gonna sleep if he stays?”

“On the couch or like when the boys are over your room.”

“Oh, that reminds me, do they even know that Pietro is your twin.”

“I don’t think so, I’ve never really brought him up to them.”

The two of you talk the rest of the night about how Pietro staying for a bit would work with his stuff and if you were gonna make him go food shopping. Wanda tried to tell you that she would worry about all of it and that you didn’t have to worry about it, but you’re adamant to help her be prepared like always. When the topic of movie night comes up, Wanda brings up the idea to tell them that Pietro is her twin and about how he might be staying for a bit but also that you should be on your phone a lot talking to him. And you think that just might be genius.

Series Taglist: @lovelybarnes

Bucky Barnes Taglist: @koressecretidentity @stevieintheimpala @unmagically @peachytea01 @the-chocoholic-writer @perksofbeingatrex @rachmmb @quokkatrash @vanillamaa @strawb3rrydr3ss @that-sarcastic-writer @spideyycents @mackycat11 @rosiemotion @dissectiontime @lmf @jacelynenursalim @aiyanalevina @mooncaffeine @fanofallthefics @jewelsrocks99 @yoongisdumplingcheeks @sailormajinmoon @girl-obsessed-with-things @sophielovesbarnes @collywobbl @majo240820 @alina02 @toothhurtyam @gaya-is-weird-af

Marvel Taglist: @its-the-autism-innit-luv @pogueslandia @obsessedwithbuckybarnes @rorysreallyrandom @myalupinblack @lieswithoutfairytales @kakakatey @sugarbutterbailey @1-800-ch3rry @amelia-song-pond @leyannrae @ficsnrec @slut-for-bucky-barnes @neenieweenie @officiallyunofficialperson

Everything Taglist: @florenceyelena @ninuffi @i-love-superhero @kolakube9 @lexy9716

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes #bucky barnes au #bucky x reader #bucky x you

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goldentournesol · 3 years

Text

Not in That Way

*gif not mine, found on Giphy*

(Spencer Reid x fem!Reader)

The one where Spencer’s TA falls in love with him.

Length: 3.3k

A/N: VAGUE SPOILERS FOR S15 AHEAD! AGE GAP (10 years). Read at your own risk everybody, very angsty. NO PART TWO’S WILL BE WRITTEN. enjoy :)

masterlist

It wasn’t hard, really. It wasn’t hard at all to fall in love with Spencer Reid. In fact, it was the easiest thing she’d ever done. It came so easily that it shook her to the core.

Really, what’s not to love? He is a badass FBI agent with a heart of gold, he can literally recite almost any book to her on demand, and it certainly doesn’t hurt that he looks like he’s been sculpted by a coveted artist.

She didn’t know though, she didn’t know how easy it would be to be completely enamored by someone. She didn’t know what kind of life she’d be stepping into when she’d applied to become his Teaching Assistant. She’d heard from her peers that there was a part-time professor who had been looking for a TA. She signed up without a second thought, desperate for any kind of connections that could possibly help her with her PhD in forensic psychology. When she’d learned that he was a certified genius whose other job was to be a real life superhero, she hoped and prayed he’d pick her application.

She was over the moon when she found out that he did indeed pick her out of all the students who had applied. This was an opportunity of a lifetime. She’d seen his university ID photo on the website and thought he was attractive, but seeing him in person was almost magical. The camera definitely could not quite pick up on the subtle gold flecks in his irises or the silky sheen of his hair. And that smile. She was sure she could drown in it forever.

After being chosen and going through a number of interviews, Y/N learned just how meticulous Dr. Reid was in everything he did. She helped him create the syllabus as well as build his lesson plans. Over the semester, she would go over his grading since he had the tendency to give students the answers instead of making helpful comments on the papers to make them think and reflect. She’d also learned about his particular aversion to technology, which meant they had multiple meet-ups when he was in town just so she can walk him through certain systems, like the university’s portal system as well as the email. She also showed him how to pose his answers as questions instead, explaining that sometimes, he shouldn’t answer their incomplete thoughts because it's an undergrad class. Also, with his unpredictable schedule concerning the FBI, she would often step in and teach his class whenever he was away on a case.

They’d become good friends outside of his office and classroom, probably closer than they should have been. He was just too likeable and she was always eager enough to hear what he had to say, thus a bond between them was born and reinforced each time they saw each other. He was so thoughtful, it shocked her. Once he’d heard her mention that she used to love collecting keychains when she was a child, and made sure to get her a new one from each state he’d visit thanks to his trips around the country. Her previous boyfriends were beyond disappointing in comparison to say the least, and they weren’t even dating. He knew her favorite coffee order by heart and often had it ready with a fresh croissant whenever they met at the university’s coffee shop and if they were meeting at his office, he’d take them to go.

It was little things like that that made her fall in love with him. And she knew, it’s not like she didn’t, she just chose to hide it with every cell of her being. Crushing on your professor is pretty common amongst university students, but being a TA and being desperately in love with your professor was a whole different kind of story.

She already admired his intelligence in class immensely, however hearing his stories from his time out in the field made her heart grow three times the size of normal. His stories ranged from being about geographical profiling, to action-packed anecdotes, and even funny moments with the team.

Was she constantly impressed by him? Yes.

Was she constantly worried about him? Also yes.

Which is why she’d practically made him adopt the habit of texting or calling her every time he landed in DC. They’d been chasing this unsub, Lynch, for months on end and he’d informed her that they were finally close to getting him. The last time they talked two days ago, he was feeling confident. But then it was just silence. He hadn’t texted her, he hadn’t called her. She didn’t even know if he was back in DC. Her mind took her places she didn’t want to go. He’d gotten so good with keeping her updated that this silence was turning her blood into ice water.

She’d left 11 missed calls so far. But she didn’t give up, she was determined to hear from him. The next morning she tried again, holding her breath and squeezing her eyes shut in a silent prayer.

“Hello?” Someone finally picked up, a woman.

“Hello? Who is this? I’m trying to reach Spencer Reid.” Y/N said into the phone, voice clearly on the edge of tears.

“Oh you must be Y/N Y/L/N. You’re Spencer’s TA. I’m Penelope Garcia, I work with Spencer.” She said into the phone evenly, calmly.

“Yes, I am. Did something happen to Spencer? He hasn’t contacted me in two days. Why do you have his phone?” Y/N worried into the phone. She could hear every heartbeat, loud and clear.

“Spencer is in the hospital. There was an explosion yesterday and he hit his head really hard. We found him passed out in his apartment this morning.” Penelope answered. Y/N’s eyes widened and she felt the tears slip from her eyes quickly. The panic began to set in.

“C-could you please text me the address?” Y/N managed to whisper into the phone through her tears.

“Of course, sweetie. He’s going to be okay. His mother is here, I’m assuming you know about Diana?” She asked tenderly.

“Yes, yes, I know. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Y/N said, already rushing to put on shoes and looking for her keys.

The drive to the hospital wasn’t long, but Y/N felt like it took ages to get there anyway. Her breathing was uneven and her eyes were already swollen as if she’d been crying for days. There was a bad, bad feeling reverberating around in her chest. She’d somehow floated through the hospital like she was running on autopilot.

She’d found the room and met eyes with a blonde woman adorning two identical blue puffs in her hair. She would have thought they were adorable if she wasn’t panicking her heart out. She spotted Spencer laying on the hospital bed with oxygen tubes hanging around his ears and inserted into his nose. The sight made her stomach lurch. Something about the way his usually pink lips were drained of their color made her want to sob until tomorrow came. Beside the bed on the other side sat Diana Reid, a tall woman with short blonde hair. She’d seen her in photos before. Diana merely stared at her with a hint of a smile.

She stepped in the hospital room, swallowing down the bile in her throat, “H-Hi, I’m Y/N.” She waved tentatively into the room, almost unable to keep with the tensity of the two women’s gazes. She wiped at her eyes and stood at the foot of Spencer’s bed, “Is he going to be okay?” She asked, staring at the steady rise and fall of Spencer’s chest. That way it was reassuring to watch him. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she stood.

“The doctors are hopeful.” Penelope replied, assessing the young woman who just entered. She was much younger than she previously thought she was. Although she had no idea what to expect when it came to Spencer’s academic life, he was always surprising her.

Diana sat still and silent in the hospital chair, a pensive expression draped across her features. Penelope sensed a tension in the room and looked towards Diana, “Hey, Diana, would you like to come with me down to the cafeteria to fetch some jello for Spencer to eat when he wakes up?”

Y/N sent Penelope a sidelong glance filled with gratitude. She tuned out the sounds of Diana telling Penelope the story of the first time Spencer had jello as they exited the small room. She immediately pulled up the chair closest to his bed and grasped his hand tightly. She let out a shaky breath at the contact. Cold, his hand was so, so cold.

“Oh, Spencer, you scared the shit out of me.” She whispered, pressing her lips to the back of his hand quickly, “I could have lost you today...and-and I wouldn’t have known what to do with myself if that would have happened. I know you probably can’t hear me, but I still have to say what I’m going to say. I have to. For myself. So here goes,” she pauses, taking a deep breath, “there’s nothing that scares me more than losing you, and that thought alone terrifies me.” She sniffled, wiping away her tears, “What I feel for you terrifies me, Spencer. I didn’t know I was capable of loving someone so deeply until I met you. And...I don’t know what to do with all this love, I want to hand it all to you, let you see yourself the way I see you, but I can’t do that. I can’t.” She held back an incoming sob, whispering, “I can’t ask that of you.”

She bowed her head and rested it along his forearm, her silent tears soaking through the hospital sheets. The fear of grieving for him outweighed the fear of rejection. She’d never forgive herself if he died without knowing how big of a space he occupied in her heart. She didn’t know if she was brave enough to tell him to his face while he was awake, but this was a start. Solidifying her feelings was a start. And man, were they solid.

A few minutes later, her phone began to ring because of an endless stream of emails. There was a class today, and she’d have to teach it. She went back and forth from her phone to Spencer’s face and released a deep, heavy sigh from the pit of her chest. She stood from her seat and hovered her hand over his cheek before allowing it to rest timidly on his skin.

“I have to go, but I’ll see you soon.” She paused, chewing on her lip, “I love you.” She said softly, fresh tears making their way back to the brim of her eyes. She pulled away from him and exited the room swiftly.

Spencer’s bleary eyes opened slightly to just barely catch the sight of her disappearing into the hallway from which she came. Seconds later, Penelope and his mother came marching in, seeing his open eyes.

Penelope set down the cups of jello nearby and Diana made her way to her son quickly. He could barely keep his eyes open for long enough. It was a small achievement but they both held onto it dearly.

Hours later, he blinked his eyes open again as he heard his mother and Penelope conversing about his favorite type of cloud. Diana leaned over her son’s bed and set a comforting hand on his shoulder. He stared at her fondly.

“Am I alive or is this heaven?” He asked, smiling slightly.

“You are very much alive.” Diana smiled broadly at him.

Garcia had since gone back to the office to assist the team in finally closing the Lynch case. Spencer was just waking up from yet another snooze.

Diana looked at him closely, sometimes he felt she was the profiler in the room, “She told you didn’t she?”

Spencer rubbed at his eyes slightly, “Who are you talking about?” He yawned.

“The pretty girl who was in here earlier.” Y/N’s name had slipped her mind the second she said it. Spencer stared at his mother incredulously, shocked at just how clear her mind was at the moment. Diana took his silence as an affirmative and nodded at him.

“You should tell her.” She said definitively. For a moment, he doubted if he understood just what she meant, but he understood.

“How did you know?” Spencer asked curiously.

“I told you, a mother always knows. And I saw the way she looked at you. She deserves to know, Spencer.” Diana said.

She deserves to know.

The thought tumbled around in his head for days after he was discharged from the hospital. He was on medical leave for the moment but as soon as he could see straight, he took the train to her apartment. He’d been there a few times, they’d had a few casual dinners there while grading papers together or coming up with future lesson plans. His hands were on the verge of trembling as he knocked on her apartment door. The numbers nailed on the door mocked him as he stood waiting for her to open.

She frowned at the sound, she wasn’t expecting anybody. She pushed her laptop to the side and stood to straighten her pajamas, making her way to the door. She ripped it open as soon as she saw who it was.

“Spencer! Oh thank goodness you’re okay! I’ve been worried sick about you.” She threw her arms around his middle tightly, making him stagger a bit from the impact, but he enveloped her in his arms anyway. The contact was very welcome.

“Hey.” He smiled into the hug, his heart spilling with gratitude over being worthy enough of her attention. They separated from the embrace and she stared at him with a look resembling wonder.

“What are you doing here? I thought you still had a few more days off until you had to get back to work. Come in, come in.” She moved aside to let him in. She also moved a plethora of blankets and textbooks off the couch to make space for him to sit.

“I know, I’m sorry for kind of coming over unannounced. I didn’t mean to intrude or anything.” He eyed her matching set of cartoon character pajamas as he took a seat, making a mental note that it was the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. She blushed under his gaze but shook her head nonetheless.

“Oh come on, you know you’re always welcome here. Can I get you something to drink? Some water or coffee, maybe?” She asked.

“Water’s fine.” He smiled, leaning back into the couch. She nodded and made her way into the kitchen. Spencer’s shoulders untensed for a moment and he hadn’t realized that he’d been carrying so much of his worries in them around her. She came back with the water and took a seat next to him, angling her body to face him. He muttered a thank you as he sipped from it, unsure how to approach the situation.

“I wanted to thank you. For coming to the hospital to see me. That meant a lot.” He met her eyes and saw a flash of panic dance across her irises. How did he know she was there? Penelope probably told him, right? He couldn’t have heard her.

“Of course, Spencer. It’s the least I could do.” She smiled sweetly. His heart cleaved in his chest as he stared at the sweet girl in front of him.

What did he ever do to deserve her friendship?

He fidgeted with the glass in his hands, a silence beginning to drape over them.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, noticing his fidgeting.

He took a deep breath and set the glass down on the coffee table in front of them. He turned his body to face her and reached for her soft hands. Her breath hitched at the intimate contact, butterflies erupting in the pit of her abdomen.

“You are a remarkable person, Y/N. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I see the absolute worst that humanity has to offer on a daily basis, but you have made it your mission to make my life easier. And you do, honestly, I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” He said with soft eyes and a half-laugh. She smiled back, she could practically feel the rush from his words directly in her brain.

“And it is an honor to be loved by you,” his voice hesitated to say the word, his eyes darkening with regret as he continued. Realization snapped into place for her as he said, “but I can’t give you what you need.”

He had heard her. He knew.

Her blood ran cold as she tore her hands away from his, as if the skin on his hands had the ability to burn her. He frowned as he watched her frantic eyes search his for any semblance of dishonesty. Her throat closed up over all the words that fought to surface. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came up. Instead, tears sprung to the corners of her eyes.

“What?” She whispered, brokenhearted and momentarily in disbelief.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He tried to console her but she was past the point of consolation.

“I-I understand.” She nodded painfully, tears cascading down her face before she even got the chance to wipe them away, “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have said anything, it’s completely unprofessional.” She swallowed an incoming sob as best as she could.

“No, I’m glad you told me, but if I’m being honest, I knew long before it. This isn’t about professionality, I don’t care about that. But I care about you, a lot.” Spencer said softly, staring at the young woman in front of him. She shook her head, utterly devastated and doing her best to shield herself from his gaze. Thoughts escaped her as her heart took a deep-dive to settle in her abdomen.

“And I thought I should let you know how I feel. I love you, Y/N,” he paused, “just not in that way.” The soft voice he used was completely useless against the harshness of the words.

She tried, she tried her absolute hardest to suppress the incoming sob, but those words just about broke the dam. She rubbed at her eyes, nodding. He tried to set a comforting hand on her shoulder but decided against it. She took a deep breath and stood up from the couch.

That was enough humiliation for the day.

“No, no, I completely understand.” She said, voice wobbly and eyes ringed with red. He frowned up at her at the sight of her being so upset.

“Will you be okay?” He asked as he stood up from his seat. She laughed slightly, this man had devastated her, broken her heart with a few simple words and still wondered if she’d be okay. That’s Spencer Reid for you. The question made her heart ache and long for him more. His simplicity and good intentions made her question why the world wasn’t kind enough to let her have him.

“No, I won’t. And I probably won’t be okay for a long time. Because I will keep meeting men and keep comparing them to you so, until I stop doing that, no, I won’t be okay, Spencer.” She answered with a surprisingly stable voice. He frowned and nodded.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, stepping forward to cup her cheek and gently use his thumb to wipe the remainder of her tears. Her glassy eyes bored right into his, her lips wobbling at the contact. She then closed her eyes and leaned her cheek into his palm, soaking in his warmth one last time before he tore himself away from her completely and showed himself out of the apartment without looking back.

That was when she allowed herself to fall apart. He heard her heart wrenching cries from behind the door and hesitated, but decided to walk away anyway with a chest heavy with regret.

She will never be enough for him, she thought.

He will never be enough for her, he thought.

#im sorry #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #Spencer Reid fic #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid masterlist #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid imagine #professor reid #spencer reid fluff #mgg

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voiceless-terror · 3 years

Text

Inseparable (TMA)

For the @tma-valentines-exchange and @theotpauthor

Characters: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Some Bullying, Canon-Typical Martin’s Mother and Jon’s Grandmother

Summary: Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood meet as children. Some things change, others do not.

As expected, he’s going to have to eat lunch alone.

Martin surveys the school yard, the teacher behind him smiling with encouragement. It’s nice that they let them go outside, sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria seemed far more intimidating than finding a tree or a bush he could hide behind. He’s getting better at making himself small.

It’s a bright, warm day and the sun beats down on his face, he’s going to need a shady spot. He spies a tree on the far edge of the grounds; it’s tall and thick, a perfect place to hide away. He trudges down the slight incline, his bagged lunch held tight in his fist. Maybe if he asks nicely his mum will get him a lunchbox. But this’ll do for now. He’s about to sit down in a small nook of roots when a disgruntled voice pipes up from behind the tree.

“Hey!”

Martin can barely see the boy’s scowling face but he recognizes him from class: Jonathan Sims. He’s a scrawny kid almost half his size, but that doesn’t make him any less intimidating. Jon always raises his hand in class and interrupts others when they have the wrong answer. The other students snicker but Jon pays them no mind, more interested in getting out all the information stored in his head. Martin admires his confidence, but still. He’s a bit scary.

“This is my tree,” he sniffs, patting the ground as if planting a flag. “This is where I eat. Alone.”

Martin feels his face burning from more than just the sun. There’s tears forming behind his eyes but he tries desperately to hold them back, the last thing he needs is a reputation as the class crybaby.

“I’m s-sorry.” He scrambles up, casting his eyes down to the ground if only to avoid Jon’s glare. “I’ll- I’ll find somewhere else, sorry to bother.” A brief scan of the school yard reveals there really is nowhere else, unless he wants to sit in the dirt or out in the sun where everyone can see. Maybe he should find an empty classroom, or a closet or even a bathroom, just to be out of sight. But he doesn’t think the teacher will let him, and she keeps looking over. She probably just saw his rejection, and he really doesn’t want her to come over and embarrass him further. Jonathan Sims already seems to hate him.

“You can stay.” The voice interrupts his internal panic, and he looks over to find Jon studiously avoiding his gaze, staring hard at a neighboring bush. Martin wonders what caused his sudden change of heart. “But you have to sit on the other side. And don’t talk to me.”

He hurries to sit down, afraid the other boy will take it back. “Y-Yes, thank you-”

“I said don’t talk to me!”

Martin closes his mouth, cutting off the ‘sorry’ that’s already spilling from his lips. With one final glare Jon swivels back around, dropping out of sight.

Martin sighs with relief and begins to dig out his soggy peanut butter sandwich. He packed it this morning with the meager supplies in their kitchen; Mum forgot to get the groceries again, he’d have to remind her. She’s been forgetting a lot lately; the move has been hard on the both of them, but especially her. Ever since his father left they’d been moving from town to town, wherever his mum could find work. She’s working at a doctor’s office now, and hence the move to their very small flat a few blocks from school. Once again, he’s the new kid.

And of course no one talks to him. Why would they? Mum always says he’s rubbish with people, that he should try to be more outgoing. It’s not his fault his glasses are too big and his clothes are ill-fitting and he’s awkwardly taller than ‘any seven year old has the right to be’ (his mum’s words). Whenever he opens his mouth, all that comes out is a high-pitched stutter. No, better to be quiet and stay out of everyone’s way. That’s easier. That’s how his Mum likes it at home, why change it up here?

But it doesn’t make it hurt any less. His teachers are nice enough and no one’s bothered him yet. As long as he continues to keep his head down and do his homework, he’ll be fine. Who needs friends, anyway?

And he’s got a spot to eat now. Jon sits on the other side of the tree, just out of sight, saying nothing. But Martin still feels a little less lonely with him here, like they have some sort of silent truce. Jon doesn’t seem to have any friends; in fact, Martin thinks he actually has enemies. People shove him in the hallway when they’re standing in line, throw paper balls at him in class, whisper insults audibly behind his back. But Jon never reacts other than a tensing of his shoulders and a pointed look the other way. Martin wishes he could be like that.

Jon lets him sit there for the rest of the week. Martin itches to talk to him, but decides it's easier to keep his promise. Mum likes it when he’s quiet so she doesn’t have to hear his ‘inane chatter.’ Jon probably wants the same.

The next day it rains. He doesn’t know where Jon goes when he can’t sit at his tree. Martin decides to eat at the very end of a lunch table where a few other quiet kids sit. No one talks to him. He’s getting used to it.

It’s too muddy to sit outside for the next few days. No matter where he looks, he can’t find Jon. The teacher doesn’t seem to care much about Jon’s whereabouts. Martin’s heard the word ‘handful’ muttered as the teachers gather in the common space. They just let him do what he wants.

But the next Monday, there he is. Sitting at the tree, a book in hand, his lunch box conspicuously absent. It’s bright yellow with a cat on it; it looks ancient, beat up and scratched as it is. But it’s not there. Martin sits at his usual spot, fidgeting with his lunch bag. I wonder if he’s hungry. He hears the crinkle of the library book, the turn of a page. Before he can second guess himself, he gets up and steps to the forbidden other side of the tree.

Jon barely deigns to look up from his book, instead focusing more intently on the pages. Martin shuffles on his feet and fights the urge to run away before clearing his throat.

Jon looks up. “What?” he snaps, clearly irritated at the interruption.

“S-Sorry, I just saw you had no l-lunch and I-” he fumbles around in the bag until he finds what he’s looking for and offers it out to Jon with a shaking hand. “I thought you might be hungry.”

Jon stares at the applesauce like it's bound to leap out and bite him. He looks back up at Martin with a suspiciously gaze, and he fights the urge to swallow nervously. Jon’s eyes are so large, even hidden behind glasses and it’s hard to meet his stare head-on.

“Fine.” A small hand reaches up and snatches it from Martin before he can so much as blink. Jon rips open the lid like a man starving and instead of asking for a spoon, opts to slurp at it like it's some sort of milkshake.

Martin stares at him open-mouthed as Jon scrunches his face in distaste and complains. “Ugh. Who gets applesauce without cinnamon?” He finishes it anyway and hands the crumpled plastic back to Martin in under a minute. He takes it, stupefied, as Jon picks up his book and goes back to reading, once again ignoring Martin. Well then.

Martin feels like he’s approached a feral cat and come back without a scratch. He takes his usual spot on the other side, mechanically biting into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and wonders if he can convince his mum to buy the good kind of applesauce when he hears the words, barely audible.

“Thank you.” It’s the softest he’s ever heard Jon’s voice go.

“You’re welcome,” he replies, equally as quiet. Jon says nothing else, but Martin will take this as a win.