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awkward-tension-art · 3 months

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Catatonia

Leon x gn!reader

Warnings: Trauma, depressive catatonia, crying, hurt/comfort, panic attack, post-raccoon city, Leon needs a hug, reader-insert, gender neutral pronouns but lmk if I slipped up anywhere, reader being supportive and taking care of Leon

Everything I know about catatonia is based on my own research and my undergrad psyc degree, so chances it may not be accurate. Enjoy the sadness!

You had no idea what happened.

Leon was supposed to go to Raccoon City and begin his first day as a cop. He would be ahead of you for a couple of months while you finished your semester. You were supposed to transfer to Raccoon University.

But then Raccoon City collapsed. The president bombed the city and everyone in it. 100,000 souls, wiped off the face of the earth.

For a day you thought you lost your boyfriend. Your grief was overwhelming, assuming he had died. Only to get a call from the military, confirming his survival, along with a little girl named Sherry.

Once you reunited, you brought him back home. Sherry, taken to a hospital for testing and recovery from…some type of infection.

Leon looked like hell. He was covered in grime, sweat and blood. The RPD uniform he wore was ripped and ragged. And his shoulder…filthy bandages were wrapped around his shoulder.

Worse of all, his eyes…his beautiful baby blue eyes were empty. Distant. Traumatized.

He seemed entirely dazed. Confused even. Unaware of his surroundings.

“Come on,” you whispered, leading him from the entrance of your small apartment to your shared bedroom.

Your upstairs neighbors must’ve dropped something, because you heard a muffled thump. Leon, in response, jumped. His hand shot to Matilda, grabbing the gun tightly.

“Leon, it's ok.” You spoke softly, your hand reached for the gun, putting your palm on the top of the barrel, “It’s ok…you're safe.” Matilda was trembling in his grip. He didn’t speak, as you took the pistol from his shaking hands. You clicked the safety, took out the mag and emptied the chamber.

Your eyes roamed his face. Jesus christ, he looked terrified.

Your boyfriend was traumatized. PTSD, you theorized. But without a professional, you couldn’t be certain.

“Come on,” You put Matilda down on the counter and slowly led Leon to your bedroom. Once inside the room, you sat him down on the bed. You didn’t care about the stains on the sheets; they could be washed or replaced.

“Leon.” you knelt, having him look down at you, “I’m gonna remove the…armor, ok?” You weren’t entirely sure what Leon was wearing on his body. Was it some type of specialized riot gear?

You received a small nod.

“Ok…I’m gonna start at the chest.” You had to warn him of everything you did. Any wrong move and Leon might jump. You didn’t want to scare him.

Your hands went to his side. You had to move his arm, which allowed you to lift the velcro. With the sound of the usual tearing, you freed one side. You did the same for the other, being careful of his injured shoulder. Once the armor was open, you slowly and carefully lifted the chestpiece over his head.

Leon was still silent. His eyes were still distant and unseeing.

Your fingers went to his belts. This felt…you were afraid of violating your boyfriend. “I’m gonna get your belt off ok?” You remained kneeling, “Can I, Leon?” Was he even in the right mind to consent to undressing?

He wasn’t speaking, mind entirely somewhere else.

“Ok…Listen, I’m going to get your belt off, then the rest of your clothes, ok?” You explained softly everything you planned to do. “Then, I’m going to turn on the shower, and get you washed up.”

No response either.

You were running out of ideas. Your hands went over his, “Leon…If you understand me, please squeeze my hand.” You hoped and prayed he could do that much at least. Your eyes met his, silently begging him to react to…something.

His fingers twitched. Good.

You smiled ever so slightly, “Alright…Here…” carefully, you put his gloved hand on your shoulder, “If you want me to stop, you squeeze my shoulder, ok?” It was a way for him to communicate without speaking.

Your movements were slow and clear as you removed his belt. It was surprisingly heavy, weighed down by the hip pouches attached to it. Jesus, what did he carry? There was a knife sheath wrapped around his leg. The moment you touched it, Leon’s hand shot to the handle.

“Woah, it's alright.” You pulled back, giving him space, “Leon, it's ok. You're safe.” your tone was quiet and reassuring, “It’s you and me right now. It's just you and me.”

Slowly, his grip loosened and he let the knife go. His eyes stared at you, through you. Your boyfriend wasn’t seeing you anymore.

Carefully, you removed the sheath and its straps. Pulling the other smaller armor pieces off was easy enough. However, your hand grazed his shoulder, causing him to flinch. At first you assumed it was a bruise or type of scratch, yet you were still careful getting his shirt off and peeling off the dirty bandages.

It was worse. Much much worse.

A gunshot. Jagged, circular, and surrounded by dark spidery veins. Your boyfriend had been shot!?

“Oh my god…” You breathed, “Leon…” Checking his shoulder, you realized the bullet had gone through completely. “Has anyone seen you for this? A doctor?”

He didn’t answer you.

“Ok…” You sighed, calming yourself, “I’m gonna turn on the shower.” Your steps were quiet but hurried as you got to the bathroom. Your thoughts were racing as you turned the water on, setting it around the temperature you knew Leon liked.

Your boyfriend had survived something awful in a city that’s been bombed. He’d been shot. Taken in by the military. Returned to you traumatized and quiet.

You returned to his side, kneeling down and looking into his eyes. “Let's get you cleaned up, ok?” The both of you were silent as you got Leon to his feet and to the bathroom. Once inside, you put his hand on your shoulder again as you pulled off his filthy pants and boxers. You did your best to not react to the smell.

Christ. Did he run through a sewer ?

You tried not to ponder, leading your boyfriend into the shower. He grimaced once the warm water began to hit his skin.

This stupor he was trapped in scared you. He most likely wasn’t in control. Was he at least aware of the world around him? You didn’t know enough about catatonia. He needed a professional. A doctor. You’d take him to the ER after the shower.

The water around your feet had turned brown from the grime on Leon’s body. It slipped down the drain in a continuous stream as you grabbed some body wash and began to scrub his skin. Tonight, you’d use your shampoo, conditioner and soft loofah. If your boyfriend was in the right state of mind, he’d deny loving the vanilla and lavender smell you preferred for your soaps. But he wasn’t, and you used them anyway.

You grabbed your shampoo and squeezed out more than the ‘recommended quarter size’. Reaching up, you ran your soapy hand through his hair before scrubbing your fingers into the strands. Leon grimaced again when you began to massage the sweet smelling soap into his hair and scalp.

“I’m sorry, I don't mean to be rough.” You murmured, washing his hair as much as you could. With only one wash, you weren't satisfied. Neither would your boyfriend. You tilted his head back and poured more shampoo directly onto his head. You scrubbed again, being more gentle this time.

One more wash later and you could tell his hair returned to its natural blonde.

Hopefully…

Next battle was his skin. You started at his neck, being as careful as you could as you scrubbed. there was a slight flinch when you touched his neck, causing you to back off. Leaving that area of his body alone, you moved on.

You were as careful as you could be with his shoulders and arms, especially around the bullet wound. Leon grimaced again when you began to clean his hands. His empty eyes stared ahead as you worked to clean under his fingernails.

Thank god you had a nail cleaning kit. It came in handy as you cleaned as much as you could. It felt like you spent a good 10 minutes on each fingernail, removing grime, mud and…blood.

Once done, the bottle of body wash you used was empty. You mentally thanked yourself for picking up a new bottle just a few days before Leon left. Popping the tab open, you got to work on his chest and back.

He’d been stock still the entire shower. Even when you began to wash his legs and feet, he didn’t react. Normally he’d try and pull away, complaining of being ticklish. But tonight? Nothing was causing any sort of reaction.

By the time you felt your boyfriend was clean and the water streaming down the drain was clear, the shower had run cold.

Leon wasn’t even shivering.

“Come on…” Your words were soft as you turned the handle, shutting off the water. “Let’s get you dried and dressed.”

Lean remained unresponsive as you pulled him out. You wrapped a towel around his waist as you took another and began to dry his face and hair. From there, you dried the rest of his body. The towels were blessedly clean and unstained when you pulled them off. Good, you managed to get off all of the unknown gunk that had clung to his form an hour ago.

“Leon,” He was entirely lost to you. You weren’t even sure if he could hear you, “I don’t know what happened, but I’m here for you, ok?” Gently, you stroked his cheek, looking into his unfocused and dazed eyes.

Catatonia. Completely.

Once you managed to get him dressed, you got him sitting on the couch to rest a bit more. You stripped the comforter off the bed and threw it into the washer along with the towels. They’d run while you take your boyfriend to the ER.

It was late now. A little past 3AM by the time you got in. The intake nurse was kind and understanding, taking you and your boyfriend to a bed after a 30 minute wait.

Honestly, the ER was a blur. You held his hand while he sat on the bed. Some tests were run. You were asked questions. his bullet wound was tended to properly. You signed some paperwork, and by 4:45 in the morning, Leon was confirmed to be in a depressive catatonic state and treated with lorazepam.

An hour later you were sent home with a prescription once the IV was finished.

Once inside, you led him back to your bathroom to wash his face and prepare for bed. He needed sleep. You did too.

But a part of you wanted to remain awake in case he needed something. Leon’s stupor was terrifying. What if the treatment didn’t work? The doctor mentioned ECT…

No . it was too early. It had only been a few hours since he was given the medication.

You got your boyfriend to lay down. He was on his side as you knelt next to him, knees on the carpet next to the bed. Your hand pet his hair, trying to give some sort of comfort to him. “Leon…” You whispered, “I don’t know if you can hear me, but…I'm right here.” You sounded like a broken record at this point, “I love you and I’m gonna stay right here to help you.”

At some point, when you noticed the sun coming up, you joined Leon on the bed. Your arms wrapped around him, his back to your chest, holding his hands in your own. You drifted off, somewhere between awake and asleep. You don’t know how long you remained like that.

A strangled cry rammed you out of your state. You sat up, looking around in a panicked rush. Your eyes landed on your boyfriend, sitting against the wall, gripping his hair. He was hyperventilating, letting out a choked sob. His blue eyes were wide, staring at nothing.

“Leon! Leon, it's alright.” You shot out to him, kneeling in front of his face, “Shhh, look at me, ok? It's ok. Everything is alright, Leon.” You didn’t want to scare him or panic him, but all you wanted to do was hold him.

He sobbed, closing in on himself and shutting down.

Shit. Shit!

“Leon, Leon, please…” Your words were failing. He wasn’t hearing you. Not entirely, “Leon shhh, you're safe. It's over. You’re home.”

Stupidly, you took a chance. Very, very slowly, you raised one hand to his cheek. Something clicked in his mind feeling your touch. His terrified eyes flicked up to you. It took a few moments for him to fully register that it was you in front of him.

His lips trembled. You barely made out your name in his quiet and cracked voice.

“Can I hold you?” you asked tenderly. his consent mattered. He was extremely vulnerable. You refused to add to his fear and panic.

Your boyfriend nodded slowly.

In response, you adjusted your position and wrapped your arms around him. “Shhhh…” you hushed Leon as his shoulders shook with more weeping, “Shhhh, it's alright. It's alright…” You unconsciously began to rock back and forth slightly.

You didn’t know what Leon had survived. You didn’t know what he went through. But dammit …as you heard his cries and sobs, you swore you’d be there to help him through the aftermath.

#reader insert #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #resident evil x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #re2 x reader #re2 leon #tw: angst #tw: trauma #tw: catatonia #my writing

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zebulontheplanet · 3 months

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Worst thing about experiencing catatonia and late regression? Almost no one can relate. Can count the people I know who experience something similar to me or worse then me on one hand.

It’s really lonely. Can’t talk about it. When talk about it have to remind people that it’s rare and really complex. It’s more than just freezing sometimes and regressing in some simple skills. It’s regressing in everything, it’s slowly losing your speech, it’s your support needs changing and continuing to need more support, it’s so much.

Not fake claiming. But when I hear “I think I experience that” I have to question the person because burnout can look really similar. Executive functioning can look really similar to freezing and catatonia like symptoms. Catatonia not common. It’s pretty rare. People have to realize that.

Catatonia isn’t even my big symptom, yes it’s still a very big symptom for me and it’s a big struggle, but it’s everything that comes with it, the needing for prompting, the degradation in social skills, masking skills, self care, the self isolation. So much more.

I struggle to start and complete tasks, I struggle to talk, to not be in a constant state of feeling like I’m going through quicksand. To do anything. To even write this fucking post.

It’s hard, it’s isolating, it’s ridiculous. I just wish I had more people to talk to, to relate to, to understand me. I wish I had seniors to tell me how it gets, to tell me how it progresses or doesn’t progress, to guide me. Don’t have that. It’s lonely.

#zebrambles #autism #actually autism #actually autistic #autism regression #autism catatonia #kinda a vent #vent #kinda venty #tw vent

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serickswrites · 3 months

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Rope

Warnings: referenced captivity, referenced torture (unspecified), catatonia, blood, scrapes, hurt/aftermath

Whumpee sat in the passenger seat where Caretaker had placed them. Sat and hadn't moved. Hadn't spoken. Hadn't done anything but breathe. And stare at the raw rope burns on their wrists.

"Hey, hey, it's ok, Whumpee," Caretaker said as they rummaged through their trunk to find the first aid kit. "It's ok. We'll fix you up, good as new. I promise."

Caretaker tried to sound happy, to sound relieved, that they had Whumpee back. But they were afraid they had arrived too late. They had found Whumpee bound to a chair in Whumper's compound. Their collar was bloody and their wrists were raw and actively bleeding around the rope binding them. But Whumpee didn't say a word. Didn't look at Caretaker. Didn't look at anything but stare at the ground in front of them.

"I'm here, Whumpee. I've got you," Caretaker murmured as they freed Whumpee and dragged them from the room.

But Whumpee didn't say anything. They stared at their hand as Caretaker pulled them along. What had Whumper done? "It's ok, Whumpee. I've got you. You're ok." Caretaker said as they pushed Whumpee to sit in the backseat.

Maybe Whumpee still needed time. Maybe once Caretaker got them home they would realize they were safe. Maybe then they would realize they were free. Maybe then they would talk again. Caretaker repeated these thoughts over and over as they got behind the driver's wheel and drove home. Whumpee just needed time. It had to be that.

#serickswrites #whump #whumpblr #whump writing #whump community #tw referenced captivity #tw referenced torture #tw catatonia #tw blood #tw scrapes #hurt/aftermath #caretaker and whumpee #febuwhump #febuwhump2024 #day 5 #febuwhump day 5 #prompt: rope burn #queue

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cuteangsty · 1 year

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Whump prompt #6 - Catatonia

Caretaker just rescued whumpee. Maybe they were tied up, or locked in a basement, a cold cell, completely immobile.

"it's ok! It's ok, alright?!" Caretaker pulls them into a hug "it's ok you are safe now"

"s...safe...n-now"

"yeah, see? Everything will be okay now?" They say in shaky breaths, happy they are finally together "you are safe now!" They repeat "you are safe with me..."

"s-s-safe...wi-with..." Whumpee repeats, emotionless.

Immediately caretaker notices something is off

"whumpee...?"

"w-whumpe-e..." It's only repetition from whumpee's part.

"no- uh... You. You are whumpee." Caretaker looks deeply in their empty lost eyes. There's no response.

"wha-... what did they do to you?" Caretaker pulls them into a tight hug only now realizing how catatonic whumpee is.

#whumpee #whumplr #whump prompt #mine #whump #caretaker #whumper #tw catatonia #whump scenario #catatonic #catatonic whumpee #tortured whumpee

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s1l4s-l1k3s-t0m4t03s · 21 days

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do i cvt or do drvg$ thats the question

#i cant feel my body anymore #im not real #im so tired of sch1z0phrenia dude #actually schizophrenic #schizoposting #schizophrenia #$elf h4rm #$h tumblr #$elf harm #$hblr #shblrr #sh tumblr #tw sh related #drvgs #tw drvgs #depersonalisation and derealisation #catatonic #catatonia

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just-an-enby-lemon · 4 months

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I need to talk about it. I got into a research rabit hole thinking about Jerry and his threat to Ridler again and after looking a lot into haloperidol overdose I realize that there is two different things he could be treatning:

1. My first belief was that he was talking about using the less than ideal amount of sedatives to cause constant overdoses and purpositaly delay the treatment since both valium and haldol overdoses can cause brain damage by lack of oxygen if untreated fast. It is still possible since I didn't check how valium fits on opcion two but..

2. Looking into haldol I discovered it's connection with Parkinson symptons more specifically catalepsia as a possible side effect and looking into haldol-indulced catalepsia I got into antipsychotics indulced catatonia. AIC is uncommon and likely genetic but exists and it's more frequent with first generation antipsychotics (witch includes haldol). Now I'm both unsure the writers of BTAA gave it as much thought as I and what part the valium would play (as if can be used to treat catatonia) but that theory fits better with Jerry's context clues.

No matter the option: JERRY GO TREAT YOUR ANGER ISSUES AND DO THE FUCK BETTER!

#btaa #batman the audio adventures #jeremiah arkham #tw medical malpractice #anti psychotic indulced catatonia #indulced overdose

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montammil · 1 year

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Love this series ❤️ as a request: maybe Marshall going catatonic! Looks like this situation is getting too frightening for him 😔

Tysm!! I hope this is okay, feel free to request again!!

CW: Catatonic state, parental whumper, (kind of) forced feeding, food, slight infantilization

...

It's been three days since Marshall said anything, let alone ate. Lawrence has been watching him for a couple of minutes now, standing outside his door. Marshall didn't turn around or meet his gaze, just continued lying in bed, curled up in a ball.

Gingerly, Lawrence opens the door all the way. He sees Marshall staring blankly at the ceiling. He's not even crying anymore, so he guesses that's a good sign, right? "Marshall?"

Still nothing.

Feeling anxious, he sits down beside the younger and slowly reaches over, holding onto the young man's trembling hand. "Kiddo, you've barely spoke for what, three days now? At least eat for me. I made your favorite!" His attemptingly coaxing words fall onto deaf ears, Marshall not reacting in any way.

Lawrence grows more concerned. "Do you want an apology? If so, I'm sorry. I only hurt you because you need to learn, sweetie. You can't just run off like that."

Jaw tensing, a single tear falls down Marshall's cheek. He wipes it quickly and lays back down in bed, ignoring Lawrence completely.

"You need to eat," Lawrence says more sternly. "I won't let you starve yourself like this any longer. Come on. Up."

Marshall doesn't move an inch. It's hard to tell if he really blocked Lawrence and his voice out, or if he's truly just ignoring him. His eyes have the blankest expression he ever seen from him. Usually they were filled with fear.

For once, he misses that fearful look. At least then, Marshall would eat and talk. Now he just lies there.

Lawrence picks him up. On the bright side, Marshall doesn't flinch or fight him. It's not improvement by any means, but at least that makes carrying him easier.

"Eat," Lawrence insists. He puts a plate of lemon basil shrimp pasta in front of him, which he recalls Marshall loving the last time he made it, more than anything else he cooked. He sits across from him and stares. "Please," he adds, almost desperately.

Marshall doesn't move. Still. He looks down at the food, not saying a word.

"Marshall." Lawrence grabs his hand, which is lying on the table. "Why are you acting like this? Are you still angry at me? Did you hit your head? Tell me something, please. Even if you're angry at me."

Pressing his fingers against the back of Marshall's hand, Lawrence waits for a reply, any kind of reply, but is still met with nothing.

"Okay," he sighs. "You aren't leaving this table until you eat everything on that plate, young man, do you understand me?" Nothing. Lawrence's eyes narrow. "I asked you a question, Marshall."

Marshall blinks, but that's the farthest reaction he's gotten all day.

Lawrence pinches the bridge of his nose and stands. He kneels down, grabs the spoon of food and hovers a hand underneath it in case some falls off. "Alright, open up, Marshy."

When he doesn't react, Lawrence pushes it against his lips and Marshall doesn't argue, he even swallows it. It starts to make Lawrence wonder if he really isn't ignoring him. Sure, he loves actually getting to take care of him, but knowing it's only because Marshall is going into some catatonic state… it makes him sad to know.

"Good boy," Lawrence mutters, patting his head when he eats everything from the spoon. He puts the dishes away in the sink, then looks back at him. He's still staring blankly. It keeps getting more and more worrying.

Lawrence tries to think of a solution, but his mind can't conjure up one. "Just snap out of it, Marshall, please. Whatever you want, I can get you. Do you want a pet? I don't mind getting a dog or cat, or-- or whatever you want! We… we could even take a vacation somewhere! Anywhere you want. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Marshall slowly looks up at him, but still doesn't say anything.

"Please…" Lawrence runs a stressed hand through his hair. He doesn't know how to win this, so he ends up just picking him up and carrying him to the couch. He gets a navy blue blanket from his room, then wraps it around him, pulling him tightly to his side. If Marshall won't react to anything, at least he can do this without the boy tensing or trying to pull away.

For at least ten minutes, the room is silent, Lawrence hoping Marshall will say something. He makes a mental note to call a doctor soon, one that he knows he can trust.

Worriedly, Lawrence kisses Marshall's forehead. "I love you, honey."

Marshall rocks back and forth, the first bit of movement he gave all day without being commanded to do so, but he's still out of it. "I love you," he repeats quietly.

Lawrence wishes he could be excited hearing those words for the first time, but he can tell by Marshall's demeanor that means nothing. He sighs shakily and tries to pretend Marshall meant that. He presses another kiss to his forehead and turns on the TV, turning it to a documentary about constellations and planets. He knows that interests Marshall, even if he doubts Marshall will pay attention to it.

Cradling him in his arms, Lawrence rubs his back gently as he continues looking at the TV.

He doesn't mind it all that much if it means they can end up like this… He can just pretend, even for a moment, that Marshall loves him just as much as he loves him.

#whump #parental whumper #lawrence oc #marshall oc #cold cold eyes #whump writing #tw catatonic state #tw catatonia #tw parental whumper #tw food #tw force feeding

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stories-by-starlight · 12 days

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Realize, at appointment yesterday, that autism catatonia had been big part our lives for over 1/3 of our life so far. Realization hurt, hadn’t notice how long it been until doctor pointed it out to us.

We developed autism catatonia when body was around 11/12 years old, not long after traumatic event in our lives. Though wasn’t able get diagnosed until years later.

It made life really hard. Everything always got harder, and became really isolated really fast due to everything happening.

Feel anger, when think about it. Try not to be angry, most times, but feel anger when realize how much time lost to this. Just want it to be over. Tired of losing and losing and losing.

Honest, hope not many relate. But for people who relate, hope know you not alone. Thank you if read all this, sorry it’s not very positive. Hope today is a good day for everyone.

#sorry for slight more personal post #autism catatonia #storybook talks #this post took so long make #happy finally done #tw trauma #parts of post written with aac

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golden-songbird · 1 year

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since i love sanders sides and whump, here are the sides as whumpees, caretakers, or whumpers depending on which role i think they suit best!!

tw for mentions of catatonia, emotional abuse, physical torture, and extreme people pleasing.

roman: whumpee. roman is a golden child at heart, so he would do whatever it takes to please the whumper right away. he wouldn’t act weak or be a pushover, but he would try to be who he thinks the whumper wants him to be by going above and beyond on tasks and always doing things with a smile. but it wears on him, and as the torture gets worse, and roman realizes that his desire to please isn’t changing anything, he grows extremely distressed and his mind breaks into catatonia. he’s barely able to break out of it when he’s rescued, and he regularly falls into his appeasing habits, stuck in that desperate need to please people in order to avoid injury or pain.

patton: whumper. yep. i said it. it’s controversial but it’s just how i think it would work. patton would be the most terrifying whumper because he acts like the worlds sweetest little thing. nobody would even suspect that he tortures people and traumatizes them to the point of no return. his abuse would mostly be emotional, taking advantage of peoples phobias, convincing them that they’re worthless, or that they only deserve love and human decency when they’re perfect, obedient little pets. but i could also see him getting physical, and then hugging his whumpee and saying stuff like “i wish i didn’t have to do it, but you just make me”.

logan: whumpee. logan is a rules guy. as a whumpee, he would observe what gets him in trouble and what doesn’t, and mentally create rules for himself in order to stay safe. he doesn’t care about his wants or needs. just following the rules and staying alive. he’s not much of a reacter unless he’s getting extremely tortured, and whumpers make a game out of trying to get a reaction out of him. so logan learns the rule to react early to avoid further torture. when he’s rescued, he keeps his rules, just in case he needs them again.

janus: caretaker. ferociously protective over whumpees, more on the side of caring for whumpees than getting back at whumpers, but he has a very strong sense of justice. he’s the kind of caretaker who’s stern with most people, but is super gentle with whumpee, trying to play a sort of good cop role as he coaxes whumpee to eat more or get some sleep. he’s typically a secretive guy, but whumpees bring out the honesty in him as he tries to make himself seem more approachable and less scary to whumpees. he’s just a great guy.

virgil: caretaker. his approach is different from janus’ in the sense that he is absolutely a revenge person. if someone hurts his friends, then they’re in for it. virgil is also a bit more tough love than janus, and he’s not afraid of being the bad guy if something has to get done and nothing anybody else is doing for whumpee is working. his harshness can lead to bad things, but oftentimes, it’s necessary to really break whumpee out of bad habits. virgil also tends to lose sleep trying to care for whumpee and forget about taking care of himself, which is very bad. but he works on it.

remus: whumpee. he is the classic defiant whumpee, but it’s in a different way. he doesn’t act angry or “tough guy”, but he does pretend to be unbothered by torture. he puts on a front that he doesn’t care about anything, including his own well-being, and he’s really good at keeping it up, but inside, he’s terrified of his weaknesses being discovered and exploited. he doesn’t trust anybody after he’s rescued, ever really. the trauma sticks with him, and even after he’s rescued, he feels like he’s still there forever, always needing to pretend that he doesn’t care about anything at all.

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devilboydogman · 22 days

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Having a psychologically induced physical disability be like “sorry I can’t walk right now I’m sad.” And it’s completely unexaggerated and literal.

I’ve been in therapy for ten years, and have been inpatient, iop, and partial hospitals. I was taught unresolved trauma and stress can cause like. Stomach and heart issues, migraines.

No one ever told me whatever the actual duck THIS is could happen. Like yeah, my new normal is that crying and panic attacks and triggers make me jerk around involuntarily until I’m catatonic. Is that. How does. PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT CASE 0 FOR THIS??? MY DOCTORS ARE SO CONFUSED BUT APPARENTLY ACCORDING TO PSYCHOLOGY PROFESSIONALS ‘YEAH, PSYCH DISORDERS CAN CAUSE THIS.’ While also seeming confused. I am baffled myself. Like huh???

#mental illness #physically disabled #psychological disorders #mobility aid user #what even #involuntary movement disorder #neurodivergent #young disabled #anxiety #depression #medical trauma #psychological trauma #chronic fatigue #mobility issues #tw psych ward #catatonia

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niobiumao3 · 7 months

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Concussions are fun for the whole family.

For Whumptober Day 7: Radio Silence, “Can you hear me?”

I was a bit behind on this one due to a case of Life<tm>. Oh well!

#whumptober2023 #no.7 #Radio Silence #can you hear me #the bad batch #fic #catatonia tw #dissociation tw #tbb hunter #star wars #fanfic #tbb fanfic #tbb tech #tbb crosshair #tbb wrecker

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schizopositivity · 1 year

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i have occassional bouts of catatonia (akinetic and excited) and i've never really met anyone else with it. would you be interested in talking more about what's it's been like for you?

if not, then i hope you have a good day/night regardless. also i love your blog. it's comforting and informative ^_^

aw thank you! and yay i love hearing about people with lived experience of catatonia cause its so hard to find people talk about what it feels like so im happy to share!

so all but one of my catatonic experiences happened before i was diagnosed or medicated for schizophrenia, and was a teenager, and was living with my immigrant mom who has very little understanding of schizophrenia (besides her horrible father) so she legit didnt know what to do with me at these times. i dont blame her for not knowing but this is just a disclaimer as to why she handled certain things the way she did.

there were a few times (maybe around 10) where i was left alone, saw a bunch of hallucinations and then conciously "woke up" (usually i was hiding under a table) to my mom yelling at me to move. and then i was just stuck. i couldnt move at all even tho i wanted to and was told to. she was usually freaking out herself and super worried about me. she thought i was "faking it" and would demand that i stop. obviously this didnt help my situation at all, all i wanted was to move and show her i could atleast act okay, but i couldnt. i would usually black out what had led up to me hiding under the table so i couldnt even explain this if i wanted to. i dont really remember how all of these situations resolved, just that it was very stressful and i would try to move any lil muscle but couldnt. i dont really know what would help in these situations, just that she probably shouldve gotten me professional help.

another memorable moment of catatonia for me kinda is hard for me to personally destinguish from some sort of dissociation just because i was in and out of conciousness. but what i do remember was me being in the passengers seat while my mom was driving and kinda bashing around and yelling and feeling like i had no control over those actions. my mom, being scared that i would hurt myself or her, couldnt think of anything to help besides forcing sleeping pills down my throat, which eventually knocked me out. in that moment i think i shouldve been taken to a hospital.

the most recent time ive experienced catatonia is the one i remember most clearly because i was already diagnosed at the time and on antipsychotics. i wasnt home alone, but i was alone in the room i was in. i dont rememeber what led up to it but i had a panic attack that left me sitting strangley on the floor. from there my breathing suddenly slowed down and i couldnt move at all. i felt compeltely stuck no matter what i did. i wanted to move so badly, i wanted to yell to the other people in the house to help me, but i couldnt. i felt stiff and uncomfortable, and in the moment it felt like id be stuck like that forever. after some time that felt very long had passed, and i had attempted to move every muscle i had, i was able to bend my elbow. so i did that over and over to try to get someones attention but it didnt work. i probably looked so "out of it" like i had drool and snot hanging down and was bending my elbow and extending it nonstop but i was fully aware of what i was doing and how i looked, i just couldnt do anything about it. after more time had passed i started moving my fingers and toes and everything else came after that. idk what wouldve helped in this situation since it did pass eventually, maybe just someone there to be with me and tell me it was going to be okay.

im no expert on catatonia i just have my experiences. its generally said that you should make sure the persons airways are clear and that they are in a confortable position and not close to any dangerous objects. its also said that you should take the person to the hospital, and for me i dont think thats needed. id just like someone i trust to be there and tell me its okay, to time it to see if it lasts longer than an hour than i should go to a hospital, and maybe try to move my limbs around to see if that would help.

#tw meds #tw pills #answered #catatonia #catatonic

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gray-gray-gray-gray · 8 months

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Chapter 2 of Schizophrenia, Third Edition: The schizophrenia construct - symptomatic presentation

Most people with schizophrenia experience delusions and hallucinations, and many (but not all) experience disorganized thinking. There are also negative and cognitive symptoms.

For reality distortion, the delusions and hallucinations: A delusion is an unshakable, false idea or belief that cannot be attributed to the patient's educational, social, or cultural background, which is held with extraordinary conviction and subjective certainty, and is not amenable to logic. Delusions are divided into primary and secondary delusions: Primary delusions (more characteristic of schizophrenia) do not occur in response to something else such as a mood disorder or hallucination. Secondary delusions can be understood in relation to a person's background culture or emotional state.

Primary delusions include delusional perceptions and delusional intuitions. Delusional pereptions are normal perceptions that are interpreted with a delusonal meaning. Delusions are extremely variable in content. The most common delusions may be delusions of persecution, delusions of influence or control, thought withdrawal, thought insertion, thought broadcasting, morbid jealousy, erotomania, delusional misidentification, grandiose delusions, and religious delusions. In schizophrenia, the most common is delusions of persecution. The content of the delusion is often determined by the maturational, social, educational, and cultural background of the patient.

People with schizophrenia experience abnormal perceptions mainly in the form of sensory distortions - real objects are distorted - and false perceptions - where a new perception occurs. In false perceptions, there are illusions and hallucinations. Illusions are transformations of perceptions. Hallucinations are perceptions without object. Hallucinations can occur in any sense (auditory, visual, olfactory, gustatory and tactile, somatic or kinesthetic.) Around 50% of people with schizophrenia experience auditory hallucinations, 15% visual, and 5% tactile. The most common hallucinatory experience are hearing voices (also known as auditory verbal hallucinations.)

Now for disorganization: most people with schizophrenia have different degrees of impairment in their thought processes. These are called formal thought disorders. The ones most prominent in schizophrenia are called retardation (taking a long time to answer questions, in its extreme form, mutism occurs), circumstantiality (giving unnecesary details but eventually getting to the point), tangentiality (never getting to the point in the first place), derailment (breakdown in association with no logical connection between thoughts), thought blocking (sudden break in train of thought), and perseveration (repeating of an idea until it is inappropriate). There is also illogicality, offering bizarre explanations for things, neologisms, the creation of new words, and paraphasia, using a word with a new meaning.

In general negative symptoms are conceptualized as things that people do not do. The distinction between positive and negative symptoms was first introduced by Reynolds (1828-1896) and Jackson (1834-1911). Kraepelin (1919) also described a framework for distinguishing between positive and negative symptoms. In many cases negative symptoms are present before the onset of psychotic symptoms, present through the psychotic phase, and persist to varying degrees once the positive symptoms remit. Negative symptoms most often include alogia (poverty of speech), blunted affect (reduction in emotional expressiveness), anhedonia (inability to experience pleasure), asociality, avolition (lack of motivation), and apathy. Negative symptoms are more important for prognosis than positive symptoms.

Deficits in cognition have been considered core features of schizophrenia all the way back to Kraepelin and Bleuler. It's been consistently shown that people with schizophrenia have cognitive deficits right at the onset of psychotic symptoms, and even in the prodromal period or well before showing any kind of symptoms. There has been a lack of standard assessment scales for cognitive symptoms. Cognitive impairment is associated with poorer prognosis and functional outcome, negative symptoms, and disorganized symptoms, but not with positive symptoms.

Now on movement disorders: the two most common abnormal movements in schizophrenia are mannerisms (odd and stilted movements that seem to have a purpose) and stereotypy (constant repitition of meaningless movements.) People with schizophrenia may be stuporous, with an absence of movements and speech while being fully conscious. On the contrary, one might become hyperactive in an excited variety of catatonia. Sometimes there is abnormality in the execution of movements like in the form of negativism, automatic obedience, or ambitendency.

While those are the symptoms of schizophrenia, there are other aspects that are critical to evaluation and treatment. First of is the developmental history and prognostic indicators. Accurately diagnosing psychotic disorders is incredibly important at early stages of the disease because the importance of early treatment has been shown in different meaures. This variable is usually the level of social functioning prior to the onset of the illness, and it's been shown that it could be an important factor in diagnosis, diseae progression, and outcome.

All of feeling, mood, affect, and motivation can be abnormal in schizophrenia. The rate of depression in schizophrenia varies in studies, found more prevalent in women and patients with first-episode schizophrenia. People with comorbid schizophrenia and depression have poorer long term functional outcomes in terms of poorer quality of life. There is also "post schizophrenic depresson", which is depression following or in conjunction with psychotic symptoms (it's also a subtype in the ICD 10.) Depressive symptoms could also be confounded with antipsychotic side effects and negative symptoms. Suicide is unfortunately a leading cause of death in people with schizophrenia, with up to 40% of people with schizophrenia attempting suicide at least once. Between 5% and 13% die from their attempts. Risk factors for suicide in schizophrenia are comorbid depression and substance abuse, feelings of hopelessness and loss, fear of mental disintegration, a first episode (especially in previously high functioning patients), and periods of exacerbation of psychotic symptoms.

Substance abuse is common in schizophrenia. Half of patients are also substance abusers at some time during their illness. Substance use has been associated with poor social adjustment, more hospitalizations and relapses, medication and non-compliance, and poor treatment responses. Since acute intoxication and withdrawal of substances can mimick schizophrenic disorders, the overlap in symptoms can make diagnosis hard.

Now for physical health; the heightened health risks in schizophrenia (cardiovascular disease, metabolic syndrome, carbohydrate and lipid metabolid disorders, etc) are associated with the medications used in its treatment. Since people with schizophrenia show a higher rate of tobacco smoking than the general population, people with schizophrenia have more respiratory symptoms and poorer lung function compared to the general population. The presence of diabetes is between 9% and 14%, dyslipidemia 43%, and hypertension 30%. People with schizophrenia on antipsychotics are more prone to obesity, which has a big impact on both physical health and self-image and adherence to prescribed medication. Despite this vulnerability to different physical illnesses people with schizophrenia are at risk for failing to receive medical services. They should have routine physical examinations, and their physical symptoms should be explored no differently.

Extra tidbits: Sexual dysfunction, sleep problems, and eating disorders are also not uncommon in people with schizophrenia. Social functioning deficits are a hallmark of schizophrenia, and impairments in adaptive life skills are a major source of disability in people with schizophrenia. Quality of life is usually lower.

#nerdpost #graypost #psychology #psychosis #schizophrenia #history #long post #suicide tw #tw suicide #ed tw #tw ed #book: schizophrenia third edition #delusions #hallucinations #catatonia #disorganized speech #disorganized behavior

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