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bassfanimation · 7 years

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The Secret Girlfriend Theory

Before anyone chortles at the title of this, please bear with me. It’s something that, I think in the ending of the Sherlock series, actually makes sense if I had to dissect his relationships with women (romantically speaking).

Since so many people have enjoyed the “I Love You: A Man’s Perspective” post, I also had a great talk with my hub about this new theory of mine, and again, his interpretation from a man’s perspective is really interesting. We also had a very personal talk, which opened my eyes to something I didn’t know about him before. I’ve asked if I can include it here and he’s totally cool with. He’s also completely amazed that people like our banter, but mostly he likes that it’s opened up new avenues of discussion in the fanbase. I’ll denote in the post between our views for clarity.

A small disclaimer: this is merely my (and some of my dude’s) own personal view, coming from our own worldviews and experiences. In no way am I writing any meta, thoughts, or opinions that are meant to invalidate anyone else’s reading of the show or characters. Everyone can have their view and their story, and it’s ok. These are just ours. Art and media is open to everyone’s interpretations.

This is another long one folks, so take a potty break now!

In The Final Problem, Sherlock had to say the most painful words he’s had to say throughout this entire series: “I love you.” What’s worse, he had to say these words in front of the two people he has most wanted to impress in his life: John and Mycroft. I think them being in the room with Sherlock for this test was highly, highly significant.

Sherlock has always been like the Wizard of Oz, which I wrote something back a while ago. I’m not sure if I can find it though as I think it was on the end of someone else’s post, but I might be wrong. Anyways, Sherlock make believes he is a larger than life figure in front of literally everyone, but none moreso than John Watson, and his brother Mycroft.

With John...John is Sherlock’s #1 fan. Sherlock wants John to believe he is the ubermensch. He’s Superman, literally. Even Moffat and Gatiss have stated things that lead you to believe they too thought of Sherlock Holmes as a comic book hero. To young boys, he is just that. Sherlock, in turn, thrives off of John’s adoration for him and his skills, he clearly eats it up. Most immature, childish people crave attention, and Sherlock is the picture of immaturity at the start of this series. Because of Sherlock’s need for John to see him as this super-intelligent, amazing man, he has to hide a lot of the more ‘human’ aspects that he has deep inside himself. It’s why John thinks he’s a “machine”, early on. Sherlock, in effect, cannot let John Watson see how the sausage is made. (no dick jokes now, this is a clean post, you can send me dick jokes later tho)

Next, with Mycroft, it’s very obvious as to why Sherlock hides all his feelings even more around his big brother. With John, Sherlock is Superman. With Mycroft, Sherlock is only a child, and he makes this very well known in how he talks to and treats him. He taunts Sherlock constantly about sentimentality. He mocks love, he cares nothing for feelings, and he uses the mere notion of Sherlock “feeling” against him. Any sort of emotion Sherlock has he absolutely cannot let Mycroft become wise to them. I like to believe that Sherlock actually idolizes his big brother, and loves him deeply (we see in the family videos). He’d never show it of course, because to show it would mean Mycroft would probably roll his eyes at him and Sherlock, until this point, couldn’t handle that.

Now, let’s take a good look at the women in Sherlock’s life (that we know of) who’ve had even any inkling of romantic or sexual attraction with Sherlock.

Irene Adler. Even as a Sherlolly shipper to the grave, I will never deny Irene and Sherlock’s very real attraction. Gatiss has stated Irene and Sherlock were “made for each other”, and he’s right, in a specific way. BC has stated that he truly believes Sherlock and Irene had a night together (that means sex, to be indelicate about it, heheh) after he saved her. Now, technically that’s not canon, as canon only pertains to what happens on screen. But, if the actor that’s playing the character has imagined that in the character’s backstory, and is playing that character with that in mind, then I feel it’s so close to canon it might as well be. *shrug* Anyways...there was an intimate, sexual love affair between Sherlock and Irene...with one very interesting aspect that spans across to other women, later: it was a secret, until now. More on that later.

Sherlock never allowed John to know that he knew Irene was alive. Sherlock purposely kept Irene’s existence as a connection to himself as secret from everyone. From John, to Mycroft, to literally anyone, even Molly Hooper, of course (though I like that Molly never considered it a secret, she deduced it pretty clearly when Sherlock ID’d Irene’s body despite her face being unrecognizable). We see in TSoT that Irene appears inside Sherlock’s mind, naked, and seductively touching his face. Irene Adler is a secret, but she is firmly, undeniably still part of Sherlock’s life, his dreams, his lust, his admiration...all of that. But she is his secret romance. Again, I’ll revisit this in a bit.

Janine Hopkins is up next. We don’t meet Janine until TSoT, which is also where Irene Adler pops into Sherlock’s mind, AND Molly Hooper is present and shown in contrasting ways to Sherlock more than a handful of times. All three of these women are making a very bold impact in TSoT, which is the episode featuring John and Mary’s wedding. For me, that is no coincidence. Mary also is playing a hugely impactful role, but not a romantic one. Many JLers interpret TSoT and the women in it as Sherlock struggling with his losing John because he’s in love with John. It’s totally fine if you want to see that. For me though, I think it’s the opposite. We have Irene inside Sherlock’s head, nude. We have Molly Hooper, who is now engaged but keeping her eyes firmly fixed on Sherlock (not to mention him peeping into the frame from behind as Molly’s kissing on Tom). And we have Janine who is actively looking to hook up with a man at the wedding. She’s a sexually mature, sexually available woman who has a pretty clear agenda. I rather loved that about J, she’s awesome. I’ll come back to that with a thought from my hub, later.

Now, Janine and Sherlock actually get on really well. They laugh together, Sherlock tries to impress her a bit, he goofs off with her. They have a really nice rapport, yet still she ends up dancing with someone else at the end of the wedding. We see her with another guy, we see Molly unfortunately chained to ol’ Meat Dagger McGee, Mary dancing romantically with John...and Sherlock goes off, alone...as Molly watches, helplessly. (damn that made me cry)

In the very next episode, His Last Vow, we see that Sherlock is actually dating Janine. Most of us knew that it was under false pretenses just because of the canon ACD story where Holmes fakes an engagement. The important part to notice is that In the first part of the episode, Sherlock has a near meltdown when Mycroft approaches his room, where Janine is sleeping. He physically threatens Mycroft to get him out of 221B and away from nosing about. He’s hiding a secret.

After Mycroft leaves, Sherlock goes to take a bath, and Janine then comes out of his bedroom, wearing one of his shirts as her pj’s. John is utterly gobsmacked, reflecting us, the audience, as we’re feeling the same. Janine then proceeds to act like a typical ‘girlfriend’. Sherlock eventually comes out of his room fully dressed, and the two put on a show in front of John that looks very normal, despite the audience knowing it’s bull. I think all of us remember the very awkward kiss Sherlock and Janine share that made all of us sort of recoil, because it felt unnatural. I know there’s about 10,000 meta pointing out that this means Sherlock is not into women, but I think there may be another reason that kiss was so weird. My hub has a good take on it. I’ll also bring this back up later.

Near the end of HLV, when Sherlock’s lying in the hospital with his gunshot wound from Mary, Janine visits him there. Her revenge and her words here now have a new meaning to me than they used to. She says, “I know what kind of man you are, Sherlock Holmes.” Then we see the tabloid news paper where Janine has blabbed to the press about her and Sherlock’s highly voracious sexual relationship. “He made me wear the hat!”, one of the headlines says. Sherlock looks really defeated by it all, and Janine says he didn’t have to lie to her, that they could have been friends.

Putting the rest of the series together, Janine’s words, and her “revenge” have a new meaning for me. It lines up with Irene, AND with Molly. Sherlock Holmes’s private life has never been examined much. If anything, it’s remained very “off screen”. Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat drew a lot of inspiration for Irene Adler from The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes. I think that right there is what makes me think Sherlock’s love life was, in the BBC version, “private”. It’s something he wanted kept out of the public view, his friends’ view, everyone. It was not for them to know about it, especially considering how closed off Sherlock’s own true heart really was. It was basically DEAD, as the coffin in TFP represented.

Now, for Molly Hooper. Loo Brealey stated in a PBS podcast interview that she got this feeling that there was a lot going on behind the scenes with Molly and Sherlock. It’s never out in the open, but the way they interact leads you to think there is something there. We’re not sure what, but it’s deliberately set up to be an ‘are they or aren’t they’ question. Personally, I found Eurus’s test to give us the definitive answer: they ARE. The reason I think this is true, is how it was all laid out. It was made to be A) in front of John and Mycroft, B) the words I Love You had to be said, and they had to be REAL, Molly made sure of that or she wouldn’t have said it back to him (also genius on Eurus’ part), and C) how she told him to say it. She said, “You say it. Say it like you mean it.” This just absolutely smacks of two people who have a “something” together, but neither has actually made it REAL, until now. Not only were they BOTH forced to make it REAL, but it wasn’t a SECRET anymore. Mycroft knows it, John knows it (fkin finally), Eurus already knew it because she’s a badass queen. Sherlock is now terrified, the most private part of his life is now out in the open. The coffin was smashed. Skadoosh, you have a heart and everyone knows it now, no going back.

I think Molly Hooper has always been Sherlock’s ‘secret girlfriend’ (I know how dumb that sounds but I don’t have a better term) because that’s the way it was supposed to be: out of our view. Sherlock Holmes doesn’t flagrantly date women like Bruce Wayne, he doesn’t go on publicly identified dates at all (can you imagine the paparazzi). His heart IS his most guarded secret, and I don’t mean the friendly love he shared with John. That was well out in the open from the first series. It was even featured in the newspaper, which neither was happy about. No one likes their life blared about and dissected by the public. Also they’re Holmes and Watson, it’s the most iconic love between two men ever. No, in this series...Sherlock’s heart was the thing he struggled most to keep under wraps. It’s the thing that he was most afraid of, it’s the thing that made him most vulnerable, it’s the thing he could not risk, not even for us, the viewers!

Back to some ideas between me and my hub.

My view of Janine’s revenge was meant to be a huge slap to Sherlock by saying, “Look what I did, I let the public think they’re in on your sex life. I told lies about the most private thing you can do with another person. I made it into a joke.” Janine made Sherlock’s heart into a JOKE, let that sink in.

Now, Janine also said she “knew what kind of man Sherlock is”. This line is hotly debated by fandom as to what that means. I thought that that meant she knew he was a lying shit, and also he didn’t want people to know him, or his private affairs, especially regarding his most guarded emotions. That’s why Janine stuck it to him good. He made her heart a joke, so she made his a joke right back. Also, the awkward kiss? To me, that was so awkward, because Sherlock didn’t love Janine...he loved someone else, he just didn’t know it yet. I think he was so stiff and weird with Janine because it really wasn’t genuine at all, and it made him feel terrible on some level that he was there, hurting someone else (Molly) by being with Janine. He was betraying the good man Molly thinks he is...big time. I think that’s also why he didn’t have sex with her. A lot of people use that as evidence that Sherlock isn’t into women, but in the context of the series as I personally see it, I think he was close enough to Molly at that point that he felt like he’d be betraying her horribly to sleep with another woman.

My husband, who I just talked to this morning about this, has a wildly interesting view of Janine and Sherlock, and why that felt so odd. My hub thinks that Janine scared the pants off of Sherlock. He has always viewed Sherlock as a normal guy, but also, he’s a nerd. He is an immature, extremely childish, inexperienced NERD. He said that a sexually experienced woman who is very comfortable with her appetites for sex probably scared Sherlock shitless. He said Sherlock is essentially a virgin, despite having most likely had sex with Irene Adler. He noted that Sherlock and Adler probably only were together after it was on his terms, not hers. He went to Adler to save her, he was in that control over her at the time, meaning the intimacy they shared was on his terms. With Janine, however, she held the advantage over him, big time. My hub also thinks Sherlock was still highly inexperienced with sex, so, that aspect alone would mean he may very possibly avoid being in a situation with Janine where he could come off as a horrible sex partner...much like young guys fear when they have no effing clue how to please an experienced lady.

My hub also said he feels Janine was Sherlock’s “tantrum”. He came back from his faked death and everyone had moved on. He expected John to just whip back into things. He expected Molly to still be there at his beck and call. We saw the heartbreaking stairwell scene. She had moved on from him. At the wedding, we see Molly looking at Sherlock almost the entire time, and she is staring daggers at Janine as well. My dude says he feels Sherlock probably saw all this happening and said, “Well fuck it, if they’ve all moved on, heh I can do that, watch me I’m going to make them all so jealous, because I’m a great big fucking child and I can show them *sticks tongue out*”. So, he tries, but it’s a woeful wreck. I find this reading insanely cute, and heartbreaking, considering Sherlock even says to Mycroft on the phone, “I’m not a child!” Yes, you still are, Sherlock. :(

Let’s circle back around to Irene Adler for a moment where I’ll talk about my views first. I see Irene as Sherlock’s secret romance. I do believe they had a something shortly after Belgravia, but I don’t think it lasted. I think it was a short-lived, hot, firey affair in which two people who suddenly came together, and fit sexually and intellectually, clicked like hell. Irene Adler was Sherlock’s absolute fantasy come to life. We have all had those people we’ve looked at and just oozed lust for. Celebrities, singers, you name it. We all have our own personal fold-outs. Hell I have a Sherlock standy in my office that my own husband gave to me, LOL! I’m a lustful cow and Sherlock is hugely sexy to me...but he is also a fantasy. An image. Sherlock is not who I’d spend my life with. Sherlock isn’t going to come home, cook me spaghetti, rub my back, listen to me cry, etc. That man is my husband, who I truly love and loves me back for exactly who I am. I think, from my personal interpretation, Irene Adler is Sherlock’s ‘standy’. He does have strong feelings for her, and he always will because he obviously was intimate with her, and I think she was his first “love”. She’s gorgeous, dangerous, mysterious, smart as hell, and even sexier than she is smart. She is the ultimate fantasy. His secret fantasy, which we ALL have.

My hub’s view of Irene Adler is slightly more simple in that to him, she represents Sherlock’s desire, his sexuality. She is the flesh’s fantasy, in the flesh! What’s neat though is that she was also highly, highly intelligent, which was also a turn on for Sherlock. In the end though, Sherlock is already a genius. Irene was much more about the flesh than the mind, in this particular adaptation. In the books, Irene Adler was much more of an intellectual foil, so this read on the BBC Adler is very much aimed at sex, specifically Sherlock, and his very obvious interest in sex (and not with men). My hub and I agree though, that we both think that Irene is who Sherlock thought of for sex...not what he actually wanted in love. The fantasies we all have, the porn we watch, the fanfic I read, hell...that’s all great fun, but it’s not who we really are inside. We don’t want our fantasies at the end of the day. We want love. We want honesty, softness, common interests, trust, reliability. Sex is the sprinkles on the cake. When we’re old and in Depends we want someone who smiles at us like we’re the most beautiful person on Earth.

On to Molly Hooper, and why I believe she was truly Sherlock’s ‘secret love’, his real love. Molly was there with Sherlock from the very start, and always, always, always shown in a romantic (and even sexual) context. Even when the writers used her as the butt of jokes, it was still in relation to her love for Sherlock (stuff it with your fake feminism, there’s a point to it). Her love was ever present.

Now, Molly was also there when Sherlock behaved at his worst. She was aware of his moods, his volatility, his childishness, and still she remained strong in the face of that. She saw his emotions even when he was sure he’d locked them away. John and Mycroft sure didn’t see them. Molly really knew what kind of man Sherlock was, only unlike Janine...she was okay with that. She didn’t like when he was mean, but she corrected him. She tried her best to help him be better, and he let her do it. What did John say about Mary? John said he wanted to be the man Mary thought he was. Sherlock asked Molly in TRF, “If I wasn’t the kind of man I think I am, would you still want to help me?” The answer was an unbending yes. Sherlock allowed himself to be made a better man in large part thanks to Molly Hooper, not Irene, not Janine. Mary was the love of John’s life. What would that make Molly to Sherlock? To me it’s very clear, maybe it’s my shipper goggles, I won’t deny I love them, but to me the parallels speak for themselves.

Talking to my husband, he said he’s always related heavily to Sherlock, and I had never known why until this morning. He recalled when we first met, how closed off he was. He often spouted out random facts and knowledge, so much that my grandma used to call him a “Know It All”. We had a hard time connecting as anything other than friends, because quite frankly, I thought he was cold. We had a big fight once, and I cried and I said that he never showed emotion. When I was happy, I wanted him to be happy with me. When I was sad, I wanted him to understand that I was sad, and to be sad with me. He was raised in a family where the men were kind of closed off. Oddly enough he also had wanted to be a forensic pathologist, LOL. But it took YEARS for him to open up to me, and me to him, cause I’ve had my own horrible childhood woes that have led me to be very scared of intimacy. YEARS. People kept asking us if were were a “thing” and we never knew how to address it, until one day he just asked what we were. It was at that point that we gave it a go, we became a “thing”. We still had a long, long way to go though. Long story short, we’ve been with each other in some fashion for 17 years. We’re still learning how to love and to be open. For men, it’s twice as hard to learn. It takes a long time for them to understand their own feelings, and even then they’ll find new ways to be confused, LOL. It is human.

I’ve always thought of myself as Molly Hooper; lonely, a little weird, strange interests, plain, and probably no one’s lifetime love. And now I know my husband has always thought of himself a lot like Sherlock Holmes; lonely, emotionally sensitive but closed off out of fear, often insecure, intelligent with facts but afraid of emotion, having to unlearn aloofness and to be ok with trust. Forever we were together, but not together. Everyone sort of saw us and thought maybe we were a thing, maybe we weren’t. Were we secret lovers and didn’t realize it? We didn’t even know for ages, until one day, you just open your heart. After that, you see what happens. For us, our love for each other doesn’t fit the typical mold. We’re not everyone else, but we fit perfectly with each other. Perfectly.

Molly and Sherlock also fit perfectly, especially if you view them as who they really are, as the kind of people they actually are. He was closed off, a nerd to the 9th degree, not very “normal”, messy, childish, moody, stupid a LOT of the time, and not very popular with anyone. She was lonely but open, also a nerd to the 9th degree, not very “normal” herself but she didn’t care and didn’t pretend to be, had a sadness in her that she tried to turn into a smile for others, ignored but accepting of it, overlooked by everyone (except by one person), not very popular with anyone yet one person still came back to her time and time again. I find the stairway scene extra telling now, considering it was Molly trying to be “normal”, stating her and Tom have a dog and they go to pubs with friends...then as Sherlock insinuates that not every man she loves can be a sociopath, she whispers to herself, “Maybe it’s just my type”. Girl does not fit into any “normal” mold whatsoever, just like Sherlock doesn’t fit into a mold of any sort. I love that so much about them, it kills me, because I relate so much.

Molly and Sherlock are like me and my hub. The secrets that you don’t realize are there, right in front of you. Sometimes, people don’t even know what they feel. Sometimes it takes years, a crushing event, hell even a drunk night of Mario Kart and tamales. You just know when you know that you love someone. It’ll hit you like thunder and it’ll scare the shit out of you. That’s why I, and my hub, think Sherlock really did mean what he said to Molly, and that he’s known on some level for a very long time that she was the real deal. She’s not his standy. Not his foldout. Not an experiment.

Molly as Sherlock’s real love might have been a secret before, but now she’s real, and his love is real for her too now. It became real in front of John Watson and Mycroft Holmes, the other two most important people in their circle. The coffin that Sherlock obliterated in front of them? That’s the secret being destroyed. The love is revealed. Their love may not fit a mold, it may not be the kind of relationship you think of when you think of ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’, but it doesn’t have to be like everyone else’s relationships. These two people fit in their own way, and I think Molly has always, always been okay with that. Similarly, Sherlock knows she’s okay with that. Their realness is theirs to make it their own. You can’t go back to be a secret once you say “I Love You.” That is as real as it gets.

#Sherlock #Sherlolly #Molly Hooper #The Secret Girlfriend Theory #long post #extremely long post #like holy shit this took me forever long post #me and my dude talk about nerd love #and how it manifests #yay emotionally closed off people learning how to not be closed off #to us the entire series of Sherlock makes perfect sense like this #but we're just us #and everyone is always free to see how they want #this is just our way #please enjoy!

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darkacademicfrom2021 · 2 years

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SERIES REC LIST

Or Loki and TH series I loved.

It has come to my attention that I have a list of absolute favourite series in here and I think it's never too much to keep sharing them with my mutuals in case you don't know some of them.

This list is 1) non exhaustive 2) not in order of which one I liked the most because I love them all for different reasons 3) the main reasons vary but I think they're all absolutely amazing and if they made it to the list is because I've felt too many things reading them 4) they're all either Loki or Tom Hiddleston

Firstly, we have @divine-library / @divine-mistake 's Loki series, "The cracks in our reality". Anyone who follows me knows how much I adore this series, especially because of the magnificent writing. I also recommend her drabbles, I've even translated one to Spanish. This is an enemies to lovers, extremely slow burn, Loki is written AMAZINGLY, and I related way, way too much to Rabbit even when I am nothing like her (which says a lot about the composition of the characters, too). You cannot miss this series, I insist.

I've recently read "Shatter this glass and set me free", by @shiningloki and I cannot BELIEVE I haven't come across this writer before. I'm baffled. There are many other works that I haven't read yet, but this one was enough to win my heart and admiration. An element bender forms a relationship with Loki, who is imprisoned on the Avengers Tower. It eventually has smut, and their whole relationship is so, so sweet.

Virtual Strangers by @lov3nerdstuff is, and I cannot stress this enough, IMMACULATE. Tom Hiddleston x reader, with so much Shakespeare. If you're a burned out gifted kid you'll love this one. Also, the TENSION. They fall in love through texts and you don't know it's him until you meet him. And it's so sweet and you feel an overall sense of kindness towards the world after reading it, it's amazing.

Are you a nerd and a hopeless romantic? Good! Me too! And @lucywrites02 's "From the bottom of my heart" is just perfect for us, then. It's about a scientist that works on the wonders of love as a chemical mystery, but that's never been actually in love. It's a slow burn friends to lovers with Loki, and it's gonna make you scream out of adorableness just in 2 chapters.

Dont mess with cats by @the-emo-asgardian is Loki x reader, and Loki is a black cat for the entire series. It has mystery, Frostiron friendship, and following clues like Sherlock. Do you need more convincing? I don't think so. No, seriously, I read it while the chapters were still updating and it was my favourite moment of the week. I had to make a cup of coffee and sit on the couch, it was a whole experience.

Texts with Tom Hiddleston and Texts with Loki, both from @lindsey-laufeyson. The one with TH includes both text and writing format and it's ✨immaculate✨. Both are NSFW. They're both different, the Tom Hiddleston one is much more fluffy with a bit of angst, and the Loki one is just pure sass and smut.

A Dutiful Disaster by @cake-writes is an impeccably written enemies to lovers with a royal AU and arranged marriage. The (fem!)reader is a princess forced to marry her childhood "enemy", Loki. It has banter, TENSION (believe me when I tell you it leaves you holding your breath) and hate-sex. Super recommended.

I will be adding more, and everytime I add something I'll reblog it, so stay tuned if you're interested!

Taglist: @lucywrites02 , @louieboo87 @the-departed-potato , @jesuswasnotawhiteman , @idontknow296 , @beksib , @spythoschei , @geekwritersworld , @whatafuckingdumbass , @mysticunicorn7 @shadowolf993 , @joscelyn02 , @t00-pi , @selfship-mishaps , @sallymagnoliaposts , @deadgirl88 , @theonewiththenerds , @vicmc624 , @spiderlaufeyson @theaudacitytowrite @bi-andready-tocry @alorev @justasmisunderstoodasloki @i-beg-your-pardon-laufeyson @theetoastyghosty @lokiprompts @sarahpaq08 @lostgreekgod

#loki fic rec #loki #loki x reader #fic recommendation #marvel fic #loki fanfic

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tyonfs · 4 years

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i like me better (when i’m with you)

PAIRING ▸ jeong jaehyun x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ friends to enemies to lovers, college au, sports, friends with benefits, smut, crack, fluff

WARNINGS ▸ sexual !! tension !! lots of it, smut (public sex, fingering, hate sex, raw sex, pool sex, oral sex), mark lee cockblocking, also yes, there’s actual fluff

SUMMARY ▸ there was no one else on the planet that made your blood boil like jeong jaehyun did. you never thought your feelings toward him were anything past pure hatred, but when you were lost in the feeling of his lips on yours and his hands on your body, you couldn’t help but think that maybe a part of you didn’t completely hate his guts.

PLAYLIST ▸ i like me better by lauv • unravel me by sabrina claudio

WORD COUNT ▸ 11896 words

TAG LIST ▸ @gotoartistprofile @chanluster @steamyjaehyun

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ big shoutout to fia for hyping me up to complete this and i hope you guys enjoy it !! thank you so much for reading ♡ part of the dunk shot! series but can be read separately!

SOMETIMES, THE AMOUNT OF HATRED YOU HAD FOR JEONG JAEHYUN AMAZED YOU.

To the average human being, Jeong Jaehyun was, in a sense, perfect. On the surface, he was everyone’s trademark Golden Boy—good grades, athletic, and a seemingly good personality. The last point, however, was a complete and utter lie. Simply put, Jaehyun was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you, unfortunately, wound up becoming his target.

If it weren’t for your love for cheerleading, you probably would never have to see Jaehyun, but your passion came with a price. Competitors were often asked a series of questions, and these questions typically included inquiring about your hardships as an athlete. If someone were to ask you what the hardest part of being a cheerleader was, your answer would not be what they expected.

It wasn’t getting back up after bad falls that left you with bruises and a concussion. It wasn’t dealing with the basketball team’s aftermath of a devastating loss and having to cheer them on through it. It wasn’t waking up extra early for morning practices, or having to push yourself to run miles in the sweltering heat. Hell, it wasn’t even dealing with the horny basketball team members at afterparties.

It was the annual training camp.

Every winter, the team attended a week-long training session along with several other teams in the city. With state-of-the-art facilities and a massive training center, the training camp was an event that the entire team looked forward to. Although the training was brutal, the luxury of the hotel rooms and the gourmet meals had made up for all of that. Yet, despite all of that, the camp itself was still hell for you.

It wasn’t all bad, though. In fact, you indulged in the concept of a training camp, delighted with the opportunity to meet cheerleaders from different universities. A handful of your friends from high school had joined teams at different universities, so it was exciting to get to see them all again. All in all, it was the whole package deal: friends, your favorite sport, and fun times. What could possibly ruin that?

Well, a certain someone by the name of Jeong Jaehyun could, and that wonderful individual incensed your fury quite like no other.

“You again,” you spat, clutching your duffel bag strap. You had just gotten off the bus to head into the hotel, but the devil himself was blocking your way.

“Y/N,” the devil cooed, “do you need help carrying that?”

“I’m fine.”

You shrugged Jaehyun off and tried to move past him, but the bane of your existence had other plans. He tossed you a small carton of milk; it was the kind you could buy at a vending machine. Your reflexes kicked in just in time for you to catch it, giving him a questioning look.

“You should be drinking more milk, Y/N. It’s good for you,” Jaehyun said. You were sure he was going to make a snide comment so you opened your mouth to protest, but he continued, “Jaemin likes big tits, you know?”

Ouch.

You and Jaehyun went farther back than you’d like to admit. While you did currently attend different universities, you had the joyous experience of going to the same high school as him. He wasn’t too different now; he had the same dimpled smile, the same godly features, and the same cocky smirk when things were going the way he planned. What was different was that you two were once friends.

And what took the cake? You had a big crush on his friend and fellow teammate. Introducing Na Jaemin, everyone.

It wasn’t like you never got over Jaemin, but you had to admit that your heart still fluttered pitifully whenever you saw him. It didn’t help that he was so breathtakingly beautiful, so undeniably genuine, and such a sweetheart. Unfortunately, Jaehyun knew of your little secret. Being the conniving little snake he was, he used it to his advantage.

Ever since your fallout with him in your senior year of high school, you’ve hated Jeong Jaehyun, and you were sure he hated you right back. It almost felt akin to the competition at this point, and you were a pretty sore loser. Honestly, you were sad initially when he broke off your friendship in senior year and threw crude insults at you. You normally didn’t let things get to you, but it hurt to hear that your best friend didn’t want anything to do with you after you had told him you were going to a different university. You were sure the both of you had grown past that, but now he had changed from a sincere highschooler to a complete low-life piece of shit.

“You’re a douche, Jaehyun,” you sneered.

A grin spread across his face. “Yeah, I know.”

You scoffed. “God, if I could, I would smash that pretty face into—”

“Hey!” a loud voice laced with trepidation interjected. It was your best friend on your school’s basketball team, Mark Lee, coming to your rescue; or, rather, he was trying to prevent you from doing something you’d most probably regret. He shot Jaehyun a warning look and slung an arm around your shoulders. “Y/N, what’re you doing here? We have to check into our hotel rooms.”

You looked back at Jaehyun to see a smug look on his face before he turned to catch up to Taeyong and Jaemin. You looked back up at Mark, who was also keeping an eye out for the demon in disguise.

“Thanks for getting me out of that mess,” you mumbled. “That guy is so infuriating. I can’t believe he still brings up Jaemin when I’m clearly over him!”

Your words were sharp enough that Mark and the people around you flinched, even if they weren’t completely paying attention to your rant. It was common knowledge that Jaehyun’s presence left you in low spirits, and Mark had come to terms that you would always be in a bitter mood during the training camp, and that there was only one person to blame for it.

Mark shot you a sympathetic look that you knew was intended to show his helpfulness, but instead just served to make you appear all the more bitter.

“Why don’t you just ignore him?” he suggested. “He’s just looking for a reaction out of you.”

“If I let him get the last word, then he wins.”

“At least he’d stop bothering you,” Mark reasoned as you both made your way to where your team had gathered by the reception desk.

“Is this about Jaehyun again?” Zhong Chenle chimed in, a devilish grin plastered across his face. “You’re a handful, Y/N.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” you snapped.

Chenle just stared at you, arching a brow as if the answer should have been obvious. “You and Jaehyun,” he said, “there’s some tension there.”

“Wow, Sherlock Holmes. Observant, aren’t you?” you spat, words dripping with sarcasm. “We’ve hated each other for years. Of course there’s tension.”

Johnny Suh snorted, averting his gaze as to not bring attention to himself. Chenle rolled his eyes, a delighted smile on his face as he watched you carefully, digging into his bag of chips in the meantime.

“Y/N, I think he means a different kind of tension,” Mark said.

“What kind of tension?” you asked, shocking the rest of them with your surprisingly innocent response. In retrospect, it was more because you couldn’t imagine the answer being anything past the realm of hatred.

While they all hesitated to respond, Johnny spoke up, “He meant the ‘I wanna beat you up and then have rough sex with you’ kind of tension.”

You immediately froze—long enough for Chenle to take a picture of your reaction—the expression on your face a cross between incredulity and visceral rage. You must have looked like a ticking time bomb because Mark had to take a cautious step back.

“Come again? Rough sex?” You were well aware of how strangled and pitched your voice sounded as soon as it escaped your lips, how guilty it sounded, but you couldn’t focus on that as the weight of Johnny’s words were sinking in. “Jaehyun and I?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Johnny answered.

“That’s a lie.”

“Yeah? Then why do you two always look at each other so weird?”

You didn’t know how to defend yourself now so you just said, “He’s a bastard and I would never see him in any other way.”

“You say that now but we all know—”

“Alright, let’s drop it,” Mark said, trying to defuse the situation before you blew it up into an argument. “I would rather go rest in my hotel room rather than bear witness to a homicide.”

“Fine, fine,” Johnny relented.

You scoffed and jabbed at his foot with yours before letting the topic go. Your squabbles with them were all in good nature, but this one somehow put you off. It was like Johnny had planted the seeds and were waiting for them to grow. You were starting to mull over every interaction you’ve had with Jeong Jaehyun.

Johnny and Chenle had made a startlingly accurate observation. You and Jaehyun did look at each other for a little too long sometimes, nearly to the point where it seemed like you were basking in the attention of the other—

No fucking way.

You were not going down that path. There was nothing more to your relationship with Jeong Jaehyun than pure hatred and resentment. He was a douchebag who was intent on making you feel like shit. His only motive was to start shit again between you and Jaemin, who you would’ve completely forgotten by now if it weren’t for him.

No way. There was absolutely no undercurrent of desire that was creeping its way to be uncovered.

Or was there? a small, treacherous part of your mind offered.

You were lost in your thoughts as the coaches handed you your room key, as you waited for your roommate who was some girl named Eunha from the other school, as you made your way to your room on the fifth floor.

The only thing you could think about were those long stares, those mesmerizing eyes, and the implication behind them. You always attributed it to Jaehyun being a hormonal teenage boy, but you had to admit that you’ve seen him look at you with some semblance of lust. Perhaps that same feeling was buried far in the depths of your consciousness, too.

Could you possibly be attracted to the devil incarnate, Jeong Jaehyun?

No, you argued with yourself, and shit, even your frontal lobe sounded pretty unconvinced. He’s a petty bastard and that’s all he’ll ever be.

You instilled the mantra of you and Jaehyun being sworn enemies in your head, but you couldn’t help the fact that it was peppered by the memories of an irritatingly familiar smirk. You scowled, willing your head to get rid of all-things-Jeong-Jaehyun, but he was right there.

Literally.

He was standing right in front of you.

“Hey, neighbor,” he teased, all too satisfied with the horrified look on your face. “Guess you can’t get rid of me.”

You were falling when you jolted awake.

A groan tore its way past your lips. You made sure you didn’t disrupt Eunha’s sleep before you recounted your dream. It had been a while since you’ve had one, and realization was morphing into shame when you realized what kind of dream it was. You’ve never had a wet dream before but what made you want to astral project yourself into oblivion was when you realized that Jaehyun caused it.

After tossing and turning for a couple of minutes in a desperate attempt for sleep to overcome you once more, you came to terms with the fact that you were staying awake for now. Staying awake was worse, though, because there was no way you could keep the intruding thoughts at bay. Not with the way Jeong Jaehyun kept flashing behind your eyelids, at least.

You considered how to spend the rest of your night, surveying your options as you stared up at the ceiling:

Watch season three of Riverdale on Netflix so you could make fun of it.

Attempt to sleep, but with little success because there was no way you were going back to bed after that dream.

Count the slacks of the window’s blinds even though it would be pointless because what the fuck were you going to do with that information?

It was truly astounding how interesting your life was.

You couldn’t think clearly with Eunha’s soft snoring, so you grabbed your keys and pushed the door open carefully to keep it from squealing. After your delicate movements to escape your room quietly, you leaned against the wall and let out a sigh of relief. You weren’t too keen on someone scolding you in the middle of the night for being outside, but you needed to clear your head somewhere. You packed for weather that was balmy, but the air conditioner carried a bite to it that made you wish you hadn’t just worn shorts and a tank top to bed.

You could practically hear Mark mocking you if he were here: Are you in the right headspace, Y/N?

You shook your head, getting your provoking best friend out of there, but instead, you found yourself wandering into dangerous territory again.

Johnny and Chenle were parroting the same words over and over again in your head. You wished you could use your metaphysical hands in your head and squeeze the life out of them, but they always flew out of your grasp. You clicked your tongue absentmindedly, your annoyance rehashing itself as your mind gravitated back to Jeong Jaehyun with his stupid smirk and annoyingly persistent cockiness. It was almost pitiful that you hated his guts and yet you couldn’t deny the magnetism he carried, the pull that made your breath hitch when he met your eyes.

His presence was announced by the change in the air more than anything else. You didn’t have to see him to know he was there. You clenched your jaw; you couldn’t catch a break from him even during the ungodly hours of the night.

He was unavoidable.

He hummed with amusement. “Look who’s here.”

“What are you doing up this late? Go to bed.”

You didn’t even bother to look at him because there was one thing you were sure of and it was that you could not look at his sickeningly attractive face right now. Jaehyun didn’t move, blatantly ignoring your order. The tension was so thick that you wanted to storm away, but you knew he would follow you just to piss you off.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “You should be the one resting up. You cheerleaders always train until you’re near death.”

“Can’t sleep,” was your curt response.

He laughed once, a short sound that was pretty much gone the moment it hit your eardrums. “What? You get nightmares or something?”

“So what if I do?” you retaliated, getting oddly defensive. It was a given that you’d lie about getting a nightmare over a wet dream. “It’s none of your business.”

He laughed again but this time it was lower, more dangerous. “It’s my business when it concerns you.”

“I have and will never be your business, Jeong Jaehyun.”

He leaned against the wall. “I beg to differ.”

“Then keep begging.”

“If you say so.”

“Jaehyun,” you interrupted your own banter. “What’s the point of this conversation? Just go back to your room so we can go back to not talking to each other.”

“I’m good, thanks.”

“That’s unfortunate,” you said. “I don’t want to talk to you, so go find someone who does.”

“We don’t have to talk.” Suddenly, his voice sounded closer, and you forced your gaze down at the strangely-patterned hotel carpet.

You swallowed thickly. “I’m here to clear my head. I don’t want you to hover around me for the rest of the night.”

“Actually, I had something else in mind.”

He closed in on you, one of his hands skimming up the soft skin of your arm. A shudder ran down your spine as you felt his fingers travel up to your shoulder, your collarbone, and then the side of your neck. With a swift movement, he caged you in his arms, biceps flexing as he did.

What was going on? You couldn’t quite keep up with the situation but the way Jaehyun was looking down at you made you feel hot. It was exactly like your dream—

“Holy fuck, Jaehyun.”

You couldn’t stop the words from escaping your lips when you felt his hot breath on your neck. Your head went fuzzy and you were pretty sure your knees were ready to buckle under you. The corner of Jaehyun’s lip lifted into a smirk as if he had been planning this. You mustered a scowl at him but one thing was clear: you screwed yourself over by getting into this situation.

Damn it. You knew you should’ve watched season three of Riverdale instead

Also, Chenle and Johnny were right. Not that you’d ever tell them that; put simply, you were a sore loser.

Lust was swimming in Jaehyun’s eyes. The way he caged you felt predatory, a show of dominance rather than passion. That smirk of his carved in deeper, and it only pissed you off. Yet, as much as it pissed you off, all you wanted him to do was just ruin you.

Your pride was too strong, though, and you concluded that you would rather stick a fork in your eye than let Jaehyun do what he wanted. This sparked a dilemma in your head: to fuck or not to fuck Jaehyun, that was the question. One sounded like a pretty uneventful night, while the other sounded appealing save for the self-loathing you’d experience afterward.

“You want me, Y/N,” he cooed. “I know you do.”

“I hate you.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“I mean it, Jaehyun,” you hissed. Your head was screaming at you to just go with it, but denying Jaehyun’s advances and provokes was just natural instinct to you. “I don’t want you. Stop lying to yourself.”

“Is that so? I think you’re the liar here,” he replied easily as you dodged his attempt to kiss you.

You pushed at his muscular arm but he didn’t budge. For a moment, you strongly considered just dropping to the ground and crawling out from under his legs, but you were done for. Seconds later, Jaehyun’s hand flew up, long fingers digging into the soft flesh of your face as he forced your chin upward to look at him directly. The lust in his eyes was so clear, so alluring, and it made you stop struggling for a second.

“I’m not going to ask you again. Let go of me.”

“Good, it’s a waste of breath.”

“Has anyone ever told you how infuriating you are?”

“You did. Many times.”

“Just fuck off already.”

Your words were like poison, but for some odd reason, Jaehyun was immune to it. Any reasonable person would at least flinch, but Jaehyun was so fixated on his one goal. Again, he didn’t budge. He gazed into your eyes with a fierce intensity that threw you off.

“Just let me fucking kiss you, Y/N.”

His smirk was gone. He wasn’t teasing you anymore. Jaehyun’s eyes darkened with his command.

He leaned in and you could feel his hot breath fanning your lips, drinking in your appearance. You were pulled into his trap and you hated yourself for it. You swallowed hard as all of your worries about being with Jaehyun and getting caught had started to fade away. All you could do was yield to him.

“Fine,” you whispered.

“Good girl,” was all he got out before basically smashing your lips together.

It was rushed, messy, and way too rough. Jaehyun grabbed the back of your neck, his other arm still locking you in place. Your hands moved from gripping at the front of his shirt to slowly wrapping around his neck. You weren’t sure how you felt, but there was something that made you want to tangle your fingers in his hair and get lost in him.

The moment Jaehyun’s tongue slid along the crease of your lips, you were conflicted. You weren’t exactly sure what to do so he took the reins. You wondered if he was expressing his pent-up hatred as well. It was clear in the way he was taking prying your mouth open with his tongue, snaking his hot muscle to dance with yours as if he had something to prove. He wanted you to see that he was the dominant one, that he had leverage over the situation.

But when he broke away, he flipped the switch. The both of you were left catching your breath, Jaehyun resting his forehead against yours in a feeling that had a weird sort of intimacy stemming from it. His hand dropped from your neck to brush messy locks of hair behind your shoulders.

Well, that explained why humans were so tempted by the devil.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Jaehyun grinned down at you.

You fought down the shyness that was creeping into your chest. Before you could respond, the both of you turned your heads at the sound of footsteps. A flashlight glimpsed by you when you saw two dark figures at the end of the hall. It didn’t sound like your coach, but you weren’t too keen on sticking around to figure out who it was.

“Son, how in the world did you get locked out of your room this late?” one of them asked.

“I’m telling you, I needed to use the bathroom so I went outside without my key, and then I remembered the bathroom was in the room.”

That voice was most definitely Mark.

“Hey!” the security guard scolded when he saw you two. “What are you kids doing? It’s late!”

“You’re on your own.” You pushed Jaehyun away from you and fumbled for your keys before Mark or the security guard could spot you. “Bye.”

You jammed your key in, not worried about waking up your roommate anymore. All you could hear was Jaehyun growling out a short string of curses before you shut the door behind him and leaned against it. Your head was still reeling in what had just happened, but that kiss had left you in the clouds. You could feel the ghost of his lips on yours. Dazed, you just fell onto your bed, into the entrancing clutches of sleep.

You were exhausted when you woke up, and you blamed Jaehyun for it.

You weren’t in the proper condition for training; you hadn’t gotten enough sleep and your head was a mess (well, you supposed you were the only one to blame for the latter). You forgot to set your alarm so you woke up to Eunha shaking you gently, coaxing you into stirring. She was already dressed, tying her hair up in a ponytail. You all but jumped out of bed when you saw her, thinking you were late.

“What time is it?” you asked groggily, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you stood up and tried to adjust to the morning light.

“You’ve still got plenty of time,” she assured you. “I just like to get ready early so I can go for a quick run.”

“Ah, okay. Have fun,” you mumbled before she left the room, leaving you to drag yourself around the room to get ready. You heard a knock at the door and went to open it, assuming it was Eunha forgetting her keys. Your eyes narrowed when you saw who it was. “Jaehyun?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” His voice was somewhere between a pant and a rasp as if he had been working out, which he probably was judging by the sheen of sweat on his biceps.

“Were you waiting for Eunha to leave?” you asked. “You’re disgusting. Why would you think about me?”

“I was thinking about how much of a bitch you are for running away and letting me get in trouble like that.”

“Pity.” You mocked a pout for him. “Now move. I have to get ready.”

“Let me in.”

You made a face at the thought. You knew where he was going with this and you needed to stop it. “No. You’re disgusting.”

“You liked it last night.”

His eyes searched yours in the dim light, looking for something that unfortunately was there: longing. You were never the greatest at hiding your emotions, which was why you couldn’t lie to yourself and refuse Jaehyun. Screw your transparency. Jaehyun grinned at your silence and took a step in your room when you opened your door wider for him.

You closed the door. “I hated every second of it,” you said in a childish attempt to get on his nerves.

You were a terrible liar.

Your back was against the door in a second. You could only let out a soft gasp before he kissed you, hands on your waist, slowing his movements unlike the hurriedness from last night. It was foreign, the way he kissed you like you were the only girl he saw. You pulled away quickly but it just left the both of you staring at each other’s lips.

“You sure about that?” His lips curled into a smirk.

“Don’t get me wrong,” you warned in a low voice, “I still hate your guts.”

“As I’m reminded of every single time I see you,” he returned coolly.

“Fuck off.”

This time, you pulled him down to kiss him again. You fisted your hand into his hair, tugging at his dark locks as your lips moved smoothly against his. Caught off guard, Jaehyun groaned, low and deep against your lips.

The two of you separated again before Jaehyun said, “See? I know you want me. Only I can make you feel this good, Y/N.”

You scoffed. “We’ll see about that.”

Jaehyun’s eyes darkened at the challenge. To prove his point, he pushed his knee up and between your legs, pressing against your clothed cunt. A gasp escaped your lips, the fingers curled in his hair instinctively tightening. You bit your lip but to no avail; a whimper escaped your lips as soon as he started pulsing his knee against you. You grabbed onto his shoulders for leverage, burying your face into his chest while bunching up the thin fabric of his shirt.

You wanted to hold back your moans because you were adamant about not giving Jeong Jaehyun the satisfaction of hearing you moan. Instead, you shifted your hips so that the pressure of his knee became more intense. Sparks flew behind your eyelids as he bounced his knee under you.

He finally released the tight grip he had on your waist in favor of palming one of your breasts, squeezing it firmly through your shirt and bra. All the while, he continued ramming his knee against the apex of your legs. He kept his eyes on yours and you scowled at the thought of him getting off on seeing you crumble in front of him. But you couldn’t stop yourself. He wanted to completely and utterly ruin you, wanted to fuck you in and shut you up.

The worst part was that you wanted to let him.

“You’re so cute when you’re like this,” he mused, slowly rubbing his knee in circles against you. “God, you’re still wearing that fucking tank top.”

“You’re such a—ah!”

He groped your chest again, thumb pressing down on your nipple. Another whimper escaped you as Jaehyun grazed his lips down your neck, nipping at the supple skin. You only got louder as the kisses turned into bites.

He ignored you and removed his hand. Instead, he tugged the neckline of your tank top down, delighted at the loose straps sliding down your shoulders. He yanked it down to your waist so you were exposed to him, and you swore you heard his breath hitch. Jaehyun pinched your nipple with two fingers, drawing out a moan that drove him crazy. He buried his face into your neck, sucking and making you quiver under him.

“Didn’t you say I had small tits earlier?” you jeered, a teasing lilt to your tone.

“Yeah, I still stand by that,” he replied, resulting in you punching his shoulder.

“Asshole.”

“Hey, I never said it wasn’t cute.”

“You’re such a softie,” you grumbled, but your voice was gentler than before. It was almost like you were warming up to Jeong Jaehyun, and you hated the mere thought of that.

Jaehyun pulled away from your neck. “Y/N, I want you to suck me off,” he demanded.

“I refuse.”

“Be a good girl and do it for me.”

You swore you’d go crazy if he called you ‘good girl’ one more time. You were pretty revolted at the thought of sucking his dick, but the way he looked so fragile under your hold made you want to do it for the power rush. It was like some cheap porno in a way; ‘College Jock Gets Sucked Off By Cheerleader.’ You bet half the members on the team beat their meat to something similar to that.

Your shoulders sagged. “Fine. Get on the bed.”

Jaehyun groaned at your approval. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he said, letting go of you to pull down his sweats on his way to your bed. He sat at the edge of it, tugging the elastic of his boxers down. You swallowed hard, tugging your tank top back up as you stared at his painfully hard erection springing out.

You got on your knees in front of him, lips parted in anticipation of taking in his length. Your hair fell over your face, which Jaehyun took notice of and held it back in a fist. Taking a deep breath, you wrapped your hand around his cock. It was rock solid to the touch and twitched at your grip. Glancing up at an eager Jaehyun, you pumped the length of it once, inciting a groan from him.

You wrapped your lips around the head of his cock, rousing a strangled noise from his throat. He looked down at you through half-lidded eyes, messy strands of your hair tangling in his fingers while his other hand was gripping the stiff hotel sheets. Then, you took him in fully at his encouragement (which was more of him just grabbing the back of your head and pushing it down on his cock).

“Shit,” he breathed out before slowly moving his hips in and out of your mouth. It was like iron wrapped around velvet, and he was relishing how hot your mouth felt.

He pushed your head down further and right as you gagged on his length, there was a knock at the door.

“Y/N!” Mark’s voice sounded from the other side. “Are you coming for breakfast?”

You pulled off of him with a pop, a string of saliva dripping off your lips. Your eyes were wide as you lunged for your phone, checking the texts. Meanwhile, Jaehyun just frowned down at you, looking up at the ceiling with a frustrated sigh.

“Holy fuck,” you muttered when you looked at the time. You called out to Mark, “Give me a minute!”

“Perfect,” Jaehyun said in a low voice and held the back of your head, attempting to push you down on him. “We can finish up now.”

“Are you an idiot?” you hissed, swatting at his hand. “I have to get out of here before Mark finds out you’re in here.”

Ignoring your state of panic, Jaehyun said, “You look so hot with drool on your chin.”

That was the most disgusting thing you had ever heard, and if it weren’t for Mark being on the other side of the door where you and Jaehyun were screwing around, you would have beat the living daylights out of him. Only a creep like Jeong Jaehyun could find something like drool sexy. You scowled at him and wiped it off with the back of your hand.

“Put your dick away,” you scolded. “Hide in the closet and you can leave when I’m gone.”

He rolled his eyes at you and stood up, making his way to the bathroom. “I need to get rid of the problem you caused.”

You had no time to complain about him jerking off in your bathroom. Mark was not a very patient man, so as soon as Jaehyun closed the door behind him, you stripped off your pajamas and threw on whatever was at the top of your suitcase. You brushed your teeth at the speed of light, using your other hand to brush down your hair. After you laced up your shoes, you opened the door to Mark looking at you suspiciously.

“You’re never late,” he pointed out.

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” you said. In your defense, it wasn’t a complete lie.

“Oh, by the way,” Mark started, “can I use your bathroom real quick?”

“No!” you exclaimed, pushing him away from your room and in the direction of the elevator. “My roommate, um, is… on her period—yeah, you don’t want to see that mess.”

Another reason why you hated Jeong Jaehyun was for giving you reasons to lie when you were a terrible liar.

Training was long and grueling. Your bones were mush and your muscles ached, pins and needles shooting through you every time you moved. As your teammates dragged you to get dinner with them, you couldn’t even resist because you were so drained.

The one thing you loved about training was that you could wear whatever you wanted, whereas you were confined to tight skirts and crop tops at your university. Now, you could rest in whatever position you wanted without worrying about exposing anything, so you didn’t hesitate to manspread as soon as you got to the cafeteria table.

“Did you guys hear about Jaehyun from the other school?” one of the girls gossiped. “Looks like he was fooling around with someone last night.”

You were grounded back into reality from whatever dimension you were floating about in. Your teammates were perplexed as you choked on air, hitting your chest to stop yourself from coughing. You were handed a glass of water, which you gingerly accepted and drank until your body had calmed down.

“Ah, sorry, Y/N,” your teammate apologized. “I forgot you and Jaehyun have bad blood between you.”

“You’re good,” you told her, waving it off. “I was surprised for a second, but I guess it makes sense for a guy like him to go around hooking up.” Then, silence fell. You were confused as they all looked at you with a puzzled look. “What? Am I stereotyping too harshly? My bad.”

“No, it’s not that,” another chimed in. “A lot of girls go around hitting on him, but Jaehyun never lays a hand on them. I thought it was common knowledge that he doesn’t do that sort of stuff, but I guess it makes sense that you don’t care about the details.”

That was news to you.

“Yeah,” you replied distantly. “I don’t care.”

So Jaehyun doesn’t hook up, was what you happened to hear around the grapevine, and he most definitely doesn’t hook up with his enemies.

You stood up in the middle of your dinner. “I gotta go,” you said. “I’ll see you girls tomorrow.”

You actually weren’t very sure where Jaehyun was, but you figured if you walked around enough, you’d run into him or someone from his team. You headed out of the canteen and walked to the basketball courts, expecting to see him dribbling a bar or doing reps. But the first person you saw was Na Jaemin, and he noticed you immediately, eyes sparkling with recognition.

“Y/N!” he greeted cheerfully. “It’s been so long.”

That infectious smile of his was plastered across his face, making a small one creep to your lips. If Jaehyun smiled like that more, then you could understand his charm, but he was always so moody around you. He either did something to get on your nerves or he would just flat-out ignore you. Furthermore, he always riled you up instead of offering you that warm security that Jaemin emanated—

Wait, why were you comparing him to Jaehyun?

“Sorry,” you apologized meekly. “Am I interrupting your practice time?”

“No, it’s cool. We were just messing around in here,” Jaemin replied. “Are you looking for someone?”

You looked into Jaemin’s eyes and your thoughts slowed. He made you feel safe, warm, but that was all; there was no fire, no rage, no heat. It was just a shallow attraction that fizzled out, leaving you neither satisfied nor dissatisfied. And you clawed at your brain as you wondered what you were getting at, but you knew. You knew it was all going back to Jaehyun.

And it pissed you off.

“I was looking for Jaehyun,” you said, “if he happened to be in here.”

“He told me he was going for a swim,” Jaemin said, and that was all you needed.

Before Jaemin could respond, you thanked him and turned on your heel. The pool was in a separate building, and there was no training that even required swimming, so it made no sense for Jaehyun to be there. You let out a frustrated sigh. Even when he wasn’t doing anything in particular to annoy you, it still managed to anger you.

You weren’t going to let Jaehyun do what he wanted this time. This was merely for interrogation—your own personal gain. Then, you thought it over some more, and you reasonably concluded that there was a 97.5% chance that you would not lay a finger on him, but there was a 2.5% chance you’d cave.

When you got to the facility where the pool was, you were entranced by the renovation at first. The pool was massive and the equipment was lined up so neatly along the walls. You peered through the glass to see the pool completely empty save for Jaehyun in the hot tub.

He met your eyes while you opened the door to the pool. His eyebrow arched at your entrance but a smirk settled on his lips as you neared him. You tried to push down your lust; you were not letting him get to you again. You crouched down by the side of the pool and Jaehyun moved so he was facing you, holding onto the edge of the hot tub.

“What brings you here?’ he asked, playfully flicking some water in your direction.

You flinched and scrunched up your nose at his action. “I heard you don’t do hookups.”

“You heard correctly.”

“So what am I?”

“You’re Y/N.”

You were a coward. Admittedly, you had probably always been running away from your own problems, deflecting your feelings with unbridled hate that had no direction, no meaning. Underneath your blunt and fiery front was pure cowardice. Even now, you refused to admit anything to yourself.

You didn’t want to accept that maybe you actually liked Jeong Jaehyun.

Maybe you’ve always liked him.

“Don’t be stupid, Jaehyun,” you grumbled. “You’ve always hated me.”

“I think you just want to believe I hate you. Is that how you suppress your feelings?”

“How long have you liked me for, then? Days?”

“Years.”

You paused for a moment as you recounted your interactions with Jaehyun. It was true that he never explicitly said he hated you and that you always started the arguments, but he was the one who broke off your friendship. Why would he do that if he didn’t hate you?

“You said you wanted nothing to do with me, Jaehyun,” you said in a smaller voice, fist balling at your side.

“You were going to a different university.” He ran a hand through his damp hair, and although you were angry, it was difficult not to enjoy the view. “Plus, you just kept going on and on about Jaemin, and I couldn’t even shut that mouth of yours up back then.”

“So you cut me off?”

“I felt like I was being petty, so I tried to apologize but you blocked my number and wouldn’t let me come near you,” Jaehyun deadpanned. He reached forward and grabbed your wrists, pulling you closer to him. You teetered on the balls of your feet, swallowing hard. “Forgive me?”

“No.”

Jaehyun rose up a little so he was eye-to-eye with you. He smiled at your flustered expression and cupped your cheek with his wet hand. Every muscle in your body was telling you to pull away but you couldn’t. Not when his lips were so close, when his eyes were boring into yours.

“Forgive me,” he repeated in a gentler tone, but it became more of an order than a question.

“Make me,” you whispered and Jaehyun groaned, somewhat helplessly.

“You’re going to be the death of me, I swear.”

You opened your mouth to say something more, but you couldn’t even form your words as Jaehyun yanked you forward and sealed your lips with a kiss. Before, you had the sense to try and push him away, but now you were held captive. He slid his tongue past your lips and you let out an appreciative whimper, hand sliding into his wet hair. You tugged at his hair and this time, Jaehyun was the one to react.

He pulled away for a moment to catch his breath, eyes clouding over with lust. “Get in with me,” he said, voice rumbling. You shivered as he dragged his lips down to your jaw; you could feel his voice reverberate down your spine and to your feet.

“What if someone walks in?” you asked in a daze.

“There’s no use for the swim facility, so no one’s going to walk in on us,” he persuaded. “Come in.”

Water dripped from his neck, landing on your thigh. You took in a sharp breath as his hand tugged at your waist. While the pleading look on his face was priceless, you couldn’t even ridicule him because you were at your limit, too. You let out an irritated sigh when you realized you gave into that 2.5% of you caving.

You responded by pulling off your shirt, tossing it to the side where Jaehyun had left his shoes and towel. Jaehyun watched you as you fiddled with the clamp of your bra. Meanwhile, his hands went to the waistband of your sweats, making you shudder as he tugged them down at the sides. You raised your hips to help him get them off and, after removing your bra, you were only left in your underwear to protect you from his hungry gaze.

You weren’t the type to hook up with guys. Hell, you weren’t the type to even show a guy your ankle if he asked. You thought you’d feel insecure with Jaehyun eyeing you in your full glory, but there was none of that. You wanted to know why it was so different with him but maybe it was the way he looked at you like he just wanted to kiss you. Or maybe a tiny part of your heart always belonged to Jaehyun, and you couldn’t bury it anymore.

“You’re so gorgeous.”

He mumbled the words, barely audible, but they set you on fire. He pulled you down onto his lap like you were his anchor, and you were afraid you’d get swept with the current, but you let him. You’ve only ever kissed a few guys before, so you really had no idea what the fuck you were getting into. All you were sure about was that Jaehyun could make you feel good and you were having your first time in a hot tub. You only prayed that you wouldn’t pass out from the pleasure combined with the heat of the water.

“Is this your first time?” he asked, gliding his hands down your sides. You nodded. “Then I’ll be gentle.” Truly, you did find his gesture rather sweet, but it didn’t stop you from rolling your eyes. Jaheyun saw and narrowed his brows. “I don’t hate you, but you really piss me off sometimes.”

He kissed you again. It was more passionate this time, but also harsher and messier. You let out a sound that was something between a yelp and a moan, making Jaehyun move his hands to run down your bare back. Then, he planted his thumb on your clit and pressed down in a way that made a muscle in your thigh twitch. Your grip on his shoulders tightened; you weren’t expecting that. It felt different in the water, but somehow, you couldn’t get enough of it.

“You’re wet,” he mumbled against your lips as his fingers found purchase on your slit.

“We’re in the water, you idiot.”

Jaehyun scoffed. “You know what, Y/N, you’re right, I did hate you,” he spat, rubbing small circles around your clit now. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders to steady yourself, whimpering as his movements grew more intense. “I fucking hated how you looked at Jaemin with those love-struck eyes.”

There was a shift in his usual cocky expression. He turned focused and, to a degree, angry. It was the kind of look on his face you saw when he was on the basketball court or during a game.

“You’re the one who told me to go after him.”

Wrong choice of words. Jaehyun lifted you up and placed you on the edge of the pool, pushing a finger inside you with no warning. You gasped, your mouth open to ask him why he took you out of the water, but you already knew the answer; he wanted to feel you completely.

“R-right there,” you whimpered out as he pushed his finger deeper inside of you.

He started to curl his finger whenever he passed over your g-spot, and you had to close your eyes. Jaehyun pulled his finger out to marvel at the slick wetness that coated it. Your body tingled as he slid his finger inside you again. This time, he was teasing your slit with a second digit. Jaehyun had no delicacy, though, and he all but shoved in a second finger, causing you to cry out.

He didn’t even care. You opened your mouth to call him a bastard, but all that came out was a pitched moan that seemed to float up to the stars.

“I fucking hated,” he rasped as he pumped two fingers inside of you, “how you treated Jaemin like he was the only one in the world.”

“I don’t… like Jaemin,” you got out, each labored breath of yours fighting off another moan. “I’ve stopped liking Jaemin after high school.”

Jaehyun’s free hand went to your chest, cupping one of your breasts as he rubbed circles around your nipple. You bit down on the inside of your cheek, unable to contain yourself as the fingers on your clit got almost frantic in their place, and the fingers inside of you were pushing against your walls. You felt an unfamiliar cold fire that felt so fucking good, lighting you up and threatening to spill over. Your muscles clenched and spasmed around Jaehyun, and you weren’t even in the hot tub but you felt like you were sinking.

A high-pitched moan left your lips, leaving you hot with embarrassment because you didn’t know you could make a sound like that. You fell from your peak, relaxing in Jaehyun’s hold; it felt like you were floating amongst the clouds in an almost euphoric way.

“I don’t like Jaemin,” you breathed out, still winded from your orgasm, “you fucking idiot.”

“I know.” Jaehyun pulled his fingers out of you, eyes trained on you as he licked them slowly. The look on his face was more gentle now. With his free hand, he brushed loose strands of your hair out of your face. “You like me now.”

“No, I’ve loved you for a while now.” You didn’t know what possessed you to say what was on your mind, but it surprised you more than it surprised Jaehyun. “I didn’t realize it then but… I think I did.”

Love? Love?

You thought you knew what love was. Something that you felt in your bones, that burst within you instantly. Simple glances, thoughts, and daydreams—something gentle and fluffy, but also emotionally shattering. You thought it was tender smiles, kind words, and little gestures.

But maybe that was the kind of love that led to puffy eyes, tear-stained cheeks, and hoarse voices. The kind of love that was left fruitless with an empty gap in your chest.

Maybe this was different.

It was instinctive, the way you fell for him. Like an effortless intake of breath, you were in love before you even knew it. You always thought love was a monster. Ravaging, scraping, foul monsters with jaws so immeasurably large that they would have swallowed you whole. But maybe it wasn’t the tragedy you made it out to be.

With Jaehyun it was fierce and maddening and made you want to rip your hair out. It was a violent hurricane that you tried to brave your way through. But you were blind. You were already at the eye; you had always been at the center without realizing it. And, despite all the pointless arguments and name-calling, it was the most beautiful thing you had experienced.

Yeah, you liked him. You liked how you were around him, despite how much you complained about it to Mark. Part of you refused to admit it, but sometimes the bickering was fun. You realized that you never let go of Jaehyun before because you couldn’t. You simply didn’t want to be without him because Jeong Jaehyun drove a deeper passion within you.

Your rose-tinted loving moment was ruined as soon as a shit-eating grin spread across Jaehyun’s face.

“You love me.”

“I’ll kill you.”

“You love me,” Jaehyun echoed as if he was internalizing the information. “You love me.”

“I take it back,” you said flatly. “I hate you, I hate you, and I’ve always hated you.”

Jaehyun ignored your words, his cockiness morphing into adoration. “You actually love me back.” He cupped your face in his hands, eyes turning into little crescents as he smiled. “Even though I called you a cougar for liking a guy a year younger than you?”

“Yes.”

“Even though I made fun of you wearing a push-up bra in front of him?”

You clenched your jaw. “Yes.”

“Even though I asked Johnny about you and he told me that I still live in your mind, rent-free?”

“What? Johnny said that?” you exclaimed, eyes wide. You grimaced. Johnny would be dealt with later. You placed your hands on Jaehyun’s shoulders and made direct eye contact. “Look, Jaehyun—as much as it hurts me to say this and I’d rather tear out my vocal cords—I like you. I like you so much that I don’t care about the petty shit you pulled when I liked Jaemin because frankly, I don’t care about Jaemin anymore.”

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.”

You wanted to slap him.

“Are you just constantly horny?” you snapped. “I’m pouring out my feelings to you here!”

“I’m better at expressing my love through actions, not words,” Jaehyun explained. “Can I show you?”

“Is this another ploy to get in my pants?”

“No, I’m asking you out on a date,” he said. “Sneak out with me tonight. I want to explore the city with you.”

The offer was tempting. In fact, you found no reason to be opposed to the idea. After all, you were always down for an adventure in the city. Jaehyun being with you didn’t sound too bad either, especially when Seoul was so lively at night. Part of you wanted it purely to catch up on all the time you missed when you stopped being friends.

“Fine,” you agreed. “An hour after curfew.”

“Great.” Jaehyun flashed a grin that slowly curled into a smirk. “Now let me get in your pants.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Y/N, you see,” Jaehyun started, “I don’t hate you, but you’ve really pissed me off these past two years. We have all of this pent-up rage, so it’s only fair that we let it out on each other.” His grip on your hips tightened.

You loathed yourself for wanting him, and for putting aside the fear of being walked in on for him. You internally cringed at the thought of Mark accidentally bearing witness, and you weren’t sure you were willing to explain the situation to him just yet.

It was the price you paid for carnality, you supposed.

You sighed in a forced way so that you sounded reluctant and bored. Unfortunately, your plan backfired and you ended up feeling bad when a concerned look crossed Jaehyun’s face.

“If you’re worried about getting caught, I’ll just cover you,” Jaehyun mumbled, the softness of his voice almost putting you at ease.

You rolled your eyes. “How kind of you.” You paused and looked up at him. “Are we really going to have sex for the first time here?”

Jaehyun looked around him. “Well, I guess we could go to the hotel room if—”

“Nope!” you interrupted, wrapping your arms around his neck and drawing him closer to you. “Let’s do it here. I love the pool, love having sex at the pool.”

He rose a brow at you, hands making their way down your body. Suddenly, your realization of being completely exposed had heightened, and you pressed your thighs together. Maybe it was because your vulnerability showed on your face, clear as day, but Jaehyun smirked, further flustering you by tugging down his swim shorts to reveal his hardened cock.

It was heavy and warm against your thigh, but what you were fixed on was the v-line on his pelvis. You traced along the bone, making him shiver under your touch. You were shocked when he grabbed your wrist tightly, holding it away from him.

“You’re playing a dangerous game here,” he growled. Jaehyun leaned closer and nipped at the shell of your earlobe, chuckling as you tensed up under his hold. His hot breath made you squirm under his grip.

Have you ever noticed how insanely attractive he was? Yes, of course. You weren’t an idiot.

Have you ever appreciated his beauty until now? Probably not.

“Just fuck me already, Jae,” you grumbled out as he pushed you down onto the deck of the pool.

In seconds, Jaehyun grabbed your hips and pulled them to his waist. Without any preamble, he rammed himself inside of you. The motion caught you by surprise and you cried out, half out of pleasure and half out of pain. You were definitely wet from being fingered earlier, but two fingers were nothing compared to Jaehyun’s cock.

Seeing his cock disappear in you was enough to make you whimper. Your walls clenched around him, pulsating at the foreign feeling. You were tempted to slap him upside the head for going so fast, but all you could do was tug at his hair and wrap your legs around him.

“You bastard, I’ll fucking—oh.”

Jaehyun laughed cruelly at your reaction, partly to cover up the groan caught in his throat and partly because your attempts at being mad at him were downright pathetic. When you had adjusted to his size, Jaehyun grunted and pounded in you, hitting spots that made your limbs feel like jelly. As if that wasn’t enough, Jaehyun found your clit with the hand that didn’t have a bruising grip on your waist and pressed harshly against it.

“You’re so fucking tight,” Jaehyun gritted out.

“T-then be gentle,” you bargained, drowning in a molten sea.

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes at you. “Have you ever fucking heard of gentle hate sex?” he asked, validating his point with a particularly hard thrust.

Your fingernails dug into his back, leaving hot-white trails down his skin. You were certain you had drawn blood, but knowing Jaehyun, he’d probably feel proud if he saw it. He brought his lips to your neck as you writhed under him, biting around until he found your sweet spot. This wasn’t fair; he was pleasuring you in every way possible and all you could do was cry out as he pummeled in you.

You closed your eyes, sparks flying behind your eyelids as you felt your release rushing to you.

Then, he slowed his strokes down considerably.

“Look at me,” he ordered in a rasp. Your eyes fluttered open, remaining half-lidded as you felt like you were going to spill over. “Look at me when I’m fucking you.”

He slapped his hips against yours again, the sound of skin against skin making you shudder. Jaehyun filled you up to the brim and you were oh-so-close to letting go and falling off the edge. The hardscape was cool but you were on fire, bliss overtaking all of your senses. Your toes curled as you held onto his damp skin for dear life, not sure if it was because he was in the pool or he was sweating due to the heat you both emanated.

“R-right there!” you wailed. “Fuck, right there!”

Jaehyun angled his hips slightly to pound into you, causing you to see metaphysical stars. It was so hard to keep eye contact with him when your eyes just wanted to roll back. Jaehyun let out a groan by your ear, low and guttural. You didn’t even notice how tight the grip he has on you until he releases your hip for you to see the print he left.

You could tell he was close, but he wanted to hold on for you. Both of your breaths were labored as you stared into each other’s eyes, your body moving up and down against the hardscape as Jaehyun railed you. You tightened your grip on him, a pathetic moan falling from your lips as you were falling over the edge.

Jaehyun understood and fucked you through your orgasm, making sure you made the most of it. Warmth blossomed under your skin as you cried out in pure bliss, your vision blurring and refocusing as it flickered from normal to pure white as you rode out your high. You ground yourself back to reality after nearly sobbing out his name, the pleasure overwhelming you. Jaehyun’s eyes went hazy as he fell apart right after you did, and soon, you felt something warm spill inside of you.

Jaehyun finished inside of you and stuttered out a curse as he pulled out of you. He rolled over and laid on the deck of the pool next to you, the both of you catching your breath like you had just run a marathon.

“I have a cute date idea for tonight,” Jaehyun said after a long pause.

You looked over, watching his chest rise and fall. “Yeah?”

“We go to the store and buy Plan B.”

You couldn’t even disagree.

“Sounds good.”

Jaehyun dragged himself off the floor, muttering something along the lines of “shit, that felt good” to himself as he reached for his swim trunks to pull back on. You grabbed a towel to dry yourself off, but pins and needles shot up your legs when you tried to walk. Jaehyun noticed immediately and a smug look settled on his face again, not the least bit remorseful.

You scowled as you slipped your clothes back on. “Shut up,” you jeered. “You’re so shameless for someone who can’t pull out.”

“Oops,” he replied flatly.

“I hate you, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun ran a hand through his damp hair, letting out a laugh as he shook his head. He picked up another towel from the chairs by the poolside and wrapped it around so it covered your head. You bit your lip as you watched him attempt to dry your hair. It was times like these when he seemed so gentle and delicate, unlike his usual irritating attitude.

“You liked it, though,” Jaehyun said. “Right?”

You faltered, looking down at your feet as he continued to dry your hair. “Yeah.”

Jaehyun smiled softly and leaned in swiftly to peck your lips, but your moment was interrupted by the sound of a door opening.

Mark was gaping at you two, eyelids fluttering rapidly as if he was trying to blink away what he had just seen.

“Y/N? Jeong Jaehyun?” Mark questioned, his voice an octave higher than usual. Realization crossed his face through a series of facial expressions that morphed far too quickly for you to process. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Mark!” You and Jaehyun pulled away from each other quickly.

Mark paused to think his words through. “Did I almost walk in on a murder?”

You let out a frustrated groan. “Jesus, Mark, if you’re not going to read the room, at least SparkNote it.”

“Wait, so you were kissing?”

“No, we didn’t kiss,” Jaehyun assured, and you felt tricked for feeling relieved for a split second. “We actually had sex.”

Jaehyun’s words ended with a splutter as you elbowed him in the gut. Mark looked between the two of you, boggled. You nudged Jaehyun again with your foot, signaling for him to leave so you could handle Mark. Thankfully, he took your cue this time and grabbed his towel, mockingly saluting the both of you. You were stupid to think you were safe, though, because Jaehyun had to get another last word in before he walked off.

“See you tonight, Y/N.”

There was a long, awkward pause while Jaehyun opened the door and left the building. You and Mark were staring at each other but neither of you knew what to say or how to approach the subject.

“I just… I just came here to find you, and Jaemin told me you went to the pool. You…” Mark started. He looked absolutely horrified, like a corpse had fallen to his feet—no, rather, he looked like a corpse himself, like someone attempted to do taxidermy on him but did a shit job. “Bitch.”

“Let me explain.”

“Bitch,” Mark enunciated, “you just fucked the hottest guy here, oh my god.”

Definitely not the reaction you were expecting, but you supposed it wasn’t a bad one. You were glad he wasn’t getting into the whole ‘why didn’t you tell me? I’m your best friend’ rant, but this was equally as overwhelming.

Mark continued, “Wait—is that why you were late this morning? Oh my god, this has been a thing. You’ve been hooking up with him in secret, haven’t you?”

“No? Well, yes, but it hasn’t been much until, um”—you gestured awkwardly around you—“you know.”

“So you were the one who was with Jaehyun last night?”

“Yes.”

“And this morning before I picked you up?”

“Yes.”

“Are you two dating now?”

“Honestly, I really don't know,” you admitted. “Mark, please don’t tell anyone about this. Especially not those little shits, Chenle and Johnny.”

Mark gulped. “About that…”

Before you could question him, there was a chorus of loud clapping echoing from the locker rooms which was then followed by a few cheers. You grimaced as the two boys you didn’t want to see walked out: Chenle and Johnny, Tweedledee and Tweedledum themselves. They both wore cocky smirks as they shook their head at you, which made Mark a touch more nervous than he was before.

“Have anything to say for yourself, Y/N?” Chenle teased.

“Go to hell.” You scoffed and turned to Mark, narrowing in on him. “Why’d you bring them along? What are you? The three stooges?”

“We were looking for you so we could invite you to the movie night we were having in Jungwoo’s room!” Mark defended. “I swear, if I knew about you and Jaehyun, I never would’ve brought them along.”

You sighed deeply as Chenle snickered to himself. “Well, I guess Y/N can’t come to movie night since she has a date with—hold on, what did you call him again? The devil?”

“Okay, I get it!” You threw your hands up in defeat, eyes closed to show you were reflecting upon your actions. “I’m a dirty hypocrite and I’ve committed a crime worse than death.” You opened your eyes again. “I’m sorry.” To your surprise, Chenle and Johnny had their right hand up. You stared at it, puzzled. “Do you want me to make an oath or something?”

“In modern society,” Johnny explained, “we call it a high-five.”

It took you a few seconds to process their words before you tentatively gave them each a firm high-five. You blinked up at them before ease washed over you. This was how it always was, anyways. At the end of the day, no matter how much you guys bickered or teased each other, you always made up. That's what friends were for, after all.

“There we go,” you said, oddly satisfied. “For now, I’ll let go of the fact that Johnny snitched on me to Jaehyun behind my back.”

“How dare you!” Johnny gasped. “Chenle was with me.”

Chenle raised his hand to confirm the statement. “Indeed. Please give credit where it's due.”

“Alright, fuck you both.”

What the fuck even was a date?

This was foreign territory to you, but even so, you decided you wouldn’t rely on your annoying friends. First of all, you were sure they wouldn’t really be of any help and just endlessly tease you about it. Secondly, they were simply going to gradually grow more stressed (Mark), lecherous (Johnny), and aggravating (Chenle). Thus, you decided to slay the monster of first dates yourself.

Your first hurdle was looking cute. You packed absolutely nothing that wasn’t for the training camp, so you had already failed. Jaehyun was going to have to deal with you in your gym shorts and a school t-shirt.

Your second hurdle was sneaking away from Eunha, your roommate. That was a piece of cake considering how she didn’t exactly care. When you headed out of the room, wallet and phone in hand, she wished you a kind farewell, which you returned.

Your third hurdle was sneaking out of the hotel. You weren’t quite sure how you and Jaehyun made it outside without being spotted, but you were certain he must have tipped off some of the staff because there was no way the both of you could have walked straight out of the lobby without being reported. When you asked him, though, he said it was probably because you looked like the cleaning lady.

Needless to say, Jaehyun was on thin ice.

You loved Seoul, loved the dirty of it. Even at night, the city was alive and full of vigor, full of young people like you who were chasing cheap thrills. Jaehyun was a dream under the glowing lights, and you almost couldn’t believe that the prince-like boy was head-over-heels for you.

He took you to a wide alley with a night market, full of life and energy. Jaehyun was walking through the crowd and you were following right behind him, like some awkward fish swimming after a cuter, more popular fish upstream. There were several times where you almost lost yourself in the crowd, and Jaehyun noticed this. He reached behind him, still shouldering his way through the crowd, and grabbed your hand. The smell of spicy rice cakes, the numerous pop-up bars lining the alley, and Jeong Jaehyun gripping your hand—it all made a pretty eventful first date.

Jaehyun didn’t kiss you. Not once. He didn’t try to touch you anywhere that would have tempted you both into doing something you definitely shouldn’t do in public. There were times where Jaehyun turned pink or looked away from you shyly, and you indulged in it because this was a side of him you didn’t see often.

Jaehyun stopped at a convenience store before you both decided to head back. You waited outside for him, kicking stones as you thought of him. He was undeniably perfect, which you somewhat despised because you had spent the last two years hating his guts and this was an abrupt change. You were worried if he was buying you something; he had already bought you lamb skewers and rice cakes at the night market. You didn’t want to be the girlfriend to empty his wallet.

Wait—

Were you his girlfriend?

“Y/N,” he called when he walked out of the store, holding something behind his back with a sneaky grin. “Close your eyes.”

You bit back a smile and closed your eyes, holding your hands out. He placed the object in your hands and it felt light, so you were sure it shouldn’t have cost much. Although, your stomach was pitted with guilt at the thought of him spending money on you. You opened your eyes when he directed you to.

Plan B One-Step.

You no longer felt bad for him.

“Very romantic,” you observed, putting the packet in your wallet, “but thank you.”

You were seething. Your face grew unconditionally hot and you had to look down at your feet. It seriously pissed you off that your feelings were so clear right now because Jaehyun had bought you fucking Plan B.

Jaehyun seemed to notice right away and tilted your chin up with two fingers, chuckling. “Is something wrong?”

Your face screwed up when you decided on what you were going to ask him. “Are we dating?” you blurted out.

Jaehyun held your face gently like it would shatter if he applied any more pressure. His fingertips grazed the hinge of your jaw while his thumbs rested on your cheekbones. You were panicking when he leaned in, but it wasn’t what you expected. Jaehyun pressed a chaste kiss to your nose, grinning at your reaction. You reached up to trace his dimple with your finger.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend, Y/N?”

“Yeah,” you admitted, flustered beyond imagination, but you had already gotten this far so you continued, “do you?”

“Do I want to be your girlfriend?”

You wanted to hit yourself. “Fuck. I mean, do you wanna date me?”

“Of course,” he said with a laugh. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

He drew you into his warm embrace and you buried your face into his chest, wondering how you hated this man for so long. Of course, when those cocky smirks and impish looks came back, you were sure you’d remember again. But right now, in his arms, you just knew that you wanted to be with him. You looked up at him, arms slung around him, and got on your toes to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

You were positive you hadn’t ever seen Jeong Jaehyun blush before tonight, but it was a sight you were sure you could never get sick of.

And you never would.

8K notes · View notes

minervahouse · 3 years

Text

why david eastman does not suck

a semi-organized, but not very clinical, rant

*spoiler warning for the entire series*

so, i don’t know how many people will be seeing this. if you follow my account, you’re well aware that i’ve been writing a truly devious fanfic that is the vanishing stair from david’s pov. well i have never deliberately said it, i believe that it is fairly clear in my writing, i am a fan of david. i believe that while he is not a saint or without flaws, he doesn’t deserve the insane amount of hate and dislike he receives. i was going through goodreads reviews of the box in the woods and the most liked review said “i just hope stevie dumps asshole david and winds up dating her true love nathaniel fisher” and i just... *screams in frustration* this is one of many anti-david reviews or comments i’ve seen. every time i see one, my blood boils ever so slightly. i also believe that stevie and nate as a romantic ship is something that just does not work. i will back up both of these arguments with the following paragraphs.

so sit back, relax, and enjoy the crazy ramblings of someone way too obsessed with these characters.

point one: he’s trying

i know it sounds dumb, but hear me out

it’s no secret that david isn’t exactly perfect. even i was nearing my wit’s end with him in the hand on the wall. i was tired of his pettiness and just the general will-they-won’t-they energy that the author dragged on for (in my opinion) far too long. i personally remember reading the scene where david offers stevie a sort of ultimatum choice of ‘i give you the codicil information and we never speak again’ or ‘i don’t give you the codicil information and we continue the way we were’. while my eyes were definitely rolling into the backs of my head with this unnecessary plot point, it’s clear what’s actually going on. david is clearly seeking validation from stevie and looking for a sign that she still cares. while he does definitely make it hard for her to chose him by using the term ‘pet project’, it’s clear what he’s actually trying to do. stevie, being her subtly absentminded self, takes the codicil information. while the scene was dumb and unnecessary, it’s clear what david was really asking, “will you still choose me even when i’m acting out?” david knows he’s annoying. he evens says it in the first book, about how he annoys people to get their attention because he believes they won’t pay attention to him otherwise. as someone who does the exact. same. thing. i personally understood it pretty well. so how does he show he cares? well, frankly, he does weird ass shit. squirrels in the library. sherlock costume. pretends to be her boyfriend to convince her parents to stay. sits in a fountain. blows up a billboard she mentioned she was upset about. i’m not trying to convey the point that david is the perfect boyfriend, or perfect character (even though i believe that), i’m just trying to get david-antis to be more... david-neutrals.

point two: role models

edward king and becky eastman as parents would mess me up too

building off of what i said in point one, david’s weird sense of romanticism is clearly from his parents. it’s clear that eddie and becky were not good parents. they most likely never said “i love you” to each other, and it was most likely fake affection if they did, purely for show. they also don’t seem like parents that would say, “i love you,” to david often either. so who does that leave as a role model of a healthy romantic relationship for him? literally no one. i don’t really feel like i need to over explain how screwed up his childhood was. how he was told at nine years old to handle a situation a fully grown adult would struggle to handle. i’m not saying that trauma excuses everything he’s done, but most seem to write him off as “an acting out rich boy” when possessions do not equal love and nurturing.

point three: stevie is not entirely blameless

i love her, but still

something i never see discussed is just how poorly stevie handled the aftermath of halloween. i’ve been frustrated with how characters have handled situations before, but this one may take the cake. david, after finding his best friend’s dead body, sobbing uncontrollably, AND finding out stevie betrayed him, he doesn’t immediately forgive stevie. he’s justifiably blunt and upset, and what does our girl stevie do? run away. literally. i do not care if he’s pissed at you, you sit next to him and make sure he’s okay. i’m not mad at stevie making the deal with edward king, i get it. but there were a thousand opportunities for her to tell him. when he says that he would have understood, i totally believe him. that was some really shitty timing on her, in my opinion. also, we always talk about how he said his parents were dead, but we never talk about how she went. through. his. room! i’m your typical teenager, my room is my safe space. if i go to grab my coat or something and find someone going through it, i’m gonna be pissed. this is one of those relationships where i feel like each action just stacks up on top of the other until there’s a huge pile to work through. and honestly, if they weren’t flawed, i wouldn’t like them nearly as much.

point four: character development

specifically in the box in the woods

something i noticed while reading goodreads reviews of the box in the woods was people were shocked that they now liked david. many people said that they hated him in the trilogy, but they loved him in the box in the woods. initially, i was defensive in an almost gatekeeping way? like how DARE you say you like him now when i’ve liked him the whole time! but, that lasted like three seconds. because really, whatever he was doing between the hand on the wall and the box in the woods has given us a much more mature david eastman. first, he didn’t leave. when stevie went to the site and found his tent wasn’t there, i practically lost my mind. i immediately got the vanishing stair flashbacks, and maureen knew what she was doing with that one. but, he didn’t! also, the whole england situation. while the drama was dumb, the fact that he isn’t taking the money is significant. he sees how his dad acts, he sees how he is similar, and he adjusts to change. to be better. i honestly cannot wait to see where maureen takes us with his character in the future.

also, he said “i love you”! i’ve seen a few people mention how stevie said “i love you” to nate but not to david, but the scene isn’t over. the book ends on them kissing, but the moment isn’t over. she might pull back and say it back. maybe, maybe not, but still. from what we know about david’s life, he’s probably never said “i love you” to someone and meant it. he might have said it to his parents, but it might not have been genuine considering their relationship. this is a big step for him and really shows his development.

point five: why nate isn’t right for stevie either

love you nate, but no

before i even begin, i have a general statement that applies to many fandoms. CAN. ANYTHING. BE. PLATONIC? i ask this genuinely. it’s a frustration that i have with many different books, shows, movies, etc. and it’s the same with truly devious. in my opinion, nate and stevie are the truly devious universe equivalent to dwight and pam from the office. while they are not similar in character exactly, i believe they are extremely similar in dynamic. they’re practically siblings in my opinion. and honestly? i ship nate x mudge. it’s based off of tiny conversations and details, but honestly, book five? let’s see it happen. frankly, stevie and nate would be a train wreck if they got together. at least at this point in the series. maybe if they had started in book two or three, but not now. i think they’d fall victim to the “meredith and george in grey’s anatomy” situation. (if you haven’t watched grey’s, meredith has sex with george while in a lull with derek, and it ends very poorly and practically ruins their friendship.) nate deserves better than to be boyfriend #2, and i believe that’s what he would be written as if they got together. they’re just too similar.

also a quick quote from the box in the woods: “one of the things that nate and stevie such good friends was their mutual hatred of sharing emotional things. somehow, they managed to have a deeper bond by staying on the surface-as if they were snorkeling their feelings, floating along side by side, observing all of nature’s wonders without getting close enough to be stung by something under a rock.”

conclusion

and final thoughts

in the end, it really doesn’t matter, i know. honestly, i’m just generally pleased to see people talking about this series period, no matter what their view point is. i didn’t really get into janelle x stevie or hunter x stevie just because they’re not usually brought up. i do definitely think that in the beginning of truly devious when we first met vi, stevie’s worries seemed a *little* more than platonic, but i absolutely adore janelle and vi together along with stevie and david. and when it comes to hunter i just... don’t care? it sounds bad, but he’s just a neutral character that i don’t have much to say about. i also want to give a little nod of acknowledgment to anyone who posts about how much they love david or defend him in the comments of goodreads reviews. y’all keep me sane and i love you for it.

congratulations for getting to the end of this! if you have points you’d like to make feel free to comment them, i’m always up for a good debate about something i love. while i wrote this while working on the vanishing stair from david’s pov, by now you’re aware that i’m working on the hand on the wall from his pov as well. i’m so excited for you guys to read it! while my following is practically nonexistent, the fact that anybody at all cares means everything to me. <3

stevie and david forever <3

#truly devious #stevie bell #david eastman #the vanishing stair #the hand on the wall #the box in the woods #nate fisher

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drbtinglecannon · 2 years

Note

30. Pick a favourite clown from the series 🤡

Ok ok for literal clown gotta go with my rainbow girl Geiru Toneido and her titty-suspenders-slapping gif

Like look at this shit! Iconic

I honestly found AA6 so unenjoyable I forgot most of the details from it hahah, and this was easily the least interesting case in the game too, but Geiru's eccentric design and sad motivations were fairly memorable imo. She is one of the few murderers in the entire series that was actually sympathetic in the end.

As for clown in terms of personality, none other than

MR. HERLOCK SHOOOLLLMEEEESSSS

I absolutely love the name 'Herlock Sholmes' too, rip everyone who hates it but I'm not so weak. It's perfect for AA and it gives us the much needed separation from the dreaded BBC show.

I could rant and rave about Herlock for a long time honestly; he's a fantastic char that's full of so much more depth than he lets on, he used to be a dick in the past but mellowed into a big ol' softie over the years, he's an ADHD icon, his design fucks, he's an attention whore, he's unreliable yet also ride or die, he's the dumbest smart person you'll ever meet, his science shenanigans make no sense both in terms of the setting and just logically, the Dance of Deduction was an extremely fun gameplay feature with banging music (it did drag on a bit tho), he fucking livestreamed Barok's trial to the fucking Queen, and he's a single dad!!! I actually hated him at first haha, I thought he was unbearably goofy and I was still mourning Kazuma, but when it started to come out more how much of the goofiness was an act (and the act itself grew on me) I found him super interesting and entertaining, and eventually he became one of my absolute favs amongst a cast full of fucking phenomenal characters. The fucking partners dance where he finally turned off all the silliness? God what an amazing pivotal scene.

I also love the subtle differences in his dynamic with each of the various major chars even if they fall into the same "category" of communication, like how annoying them to hell and back is his go-to for Ryuu, Barok, and Gregson, or how he tries to act more put together but his Herlock-ness still shines through for Iris, Susato, Gina, and Yuujin, but none of these dynamics feel exactly the same, he genuinely cares about all of them in their own ways. His relationship to Iris means so much to me even if I have problems with how it was written (I really resent they ever did the "roommates" angle) and he's a character that at his core collects found family because he's a kind and loyal person, and really who wouldn't fall for that?

Herlock is hands down my favorite Sherlock adaptation ever and I really doubt that'll ever change.

From this AA ask list!

#asks #answered #tgaa #dgs #ace attorney #thanks for the ask pal! *insert larry butz crying while winking thumbs up gif here*#i could keep talking about herlock but im starting to not make sense so ill stop

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

Do you have any fanficions that are very science-y, if that makes any sense? Like, focused on scientific things, in the writing style or actual experiments incorporated into the story itself? I hope I'm making sense

Hi Nonny!

Ahhh yeah, though a lot of the fics I read have it deep in the fic, lol. BUT!!!! Guess what?? Your ask is the lucky one that spawns a new list I’ve been waiting forever to post the next part for a tonne of new fics, LOL!

As always, gang, if you have a fic more tuned to what Nonny is ACTUALLY looking for, please add them here, LOL. Pt. 1 will have a lot more of what you’re looking for Nonny, since there’s a lot of my FFNet recs on that one, but both lists have great recs!! <3

IT’S AN EXPERIMENT! Pt. 3

See also:

It’s An Experiment!

It’s An Experiment! (Pt. 2)

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

A Study in Lace by KarlyAnne (E, 2,320 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Crafty Sherlock, Tiny Lace Panties / Lingerie, Domestics, Experiments, Oral, Masturbation) – “Why do you suppose he was doing that?” “Why do I suppose who was doing what?” “The room. The lace. The secrecy. He was playing with fire in everything he did, and didn’t care one bit. But he had a secret chamber, carefully concealed, solely for the purpose of making lace lingerie. Obviously for personal use. Why?" Part 1 of The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes

Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It's because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.

Undercurrents by entanglednow (E, 2,996 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Disturbing Things, Crime Scene Fetish, Pseudo-Necrophilia, PWP, Masturbation) – “There, that's it, perfect, shut your eyes and don't move - and don't speak."

John's Missing Wednesday by PipMer (K+, 2,999 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Pre-TSo3, Non-Con Drugged John, Friendship, Experiment) – "Now John I'd poison. ... Sloppy eater – dead easy. I've given him chemicals and compounds that way, he's never even noticed. He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn't have a clue." – The Sign of Three. This is the story of that missing Wednesday.

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock's kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w., 2 Ch. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Experiment by Gwen's Blue Box (K+, 4,222 w., 3 Ch. || Non-Con Drugging, Hurt Comfort, Friendship) – Of course John has always known about his flatmate’s irregular sleeping habits, especially when they’re on a case. This time, however, the case is taking longer and longer, and soon John starts to worry. But there’s not much he can do, is there? Because drugging Sherlock isn’t an option. Not yet, maybe, but will it be soon? {{CW: John drugs Sherlock without his consent}}

Survival Strategies for the Domesticated British Butthole by Atiki (E, 6,183 w., 1 Ch. || Crack, Rimming, Anal Sex, Iced Lolly, Hair Removal, Depilation) – In which there’s a rimming disaster, Sherlock depilates his butt, everything goes very, very wrong and groceries are mistreated. This fic contains hair removal creme in a butthole, ice lollies in a butthole and John Watson's penis in a butthole. You have been warned.

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

Time on my hands by Mildredandbobbin (M, 7,179 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S3, One Night Stands, Mutual Pining, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Sexual Exploration / Discovery, Desperation, Body Worship) – Virginity’s a construct, a concept—what does losing one’s virginity entail for a gay man anyway? Sherlock wants to fill that particular gap in his knowledge but John won’t, can’t, never will assist and there’s only so much desperately unspoken pining even Sherlock can take.

Speak My Language by Itsallfine (T, 7,479 w., 4 Ch. || Thanksgiving, Love Languages, Love Confessions, First Kiss, John Experiments in Sherlock) – When Mrs. Hudson introduces John and Sherlock to the concept of the five love languages, Sherlock descends into a dark mood and John’s curiosity gets the better of him. What is Sherlock’s love language, and why does the whole concept set him so on edge? Part 1 of A Holiday Triptych

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Androids) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock's study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn't entirely mind.

Fucking Cake by Random_Nexus (E, 12,965 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Humour/Crack, Inanimate Object Smut, Frottage, “For a Case” / “Experiment”, PWP / Kinky, Mutual Pining, Fluff) – Sherlock brings home a chocolate cake, John finds him about to have sex with said cake, then exceedingly weird hijinx ensue. Part 1 of "Fucking Baked Goods" - Sherlock BBC

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #it's an experiment #Anonymous #fic rec sunday

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lokismusings · 3 years

Text

Russell T Davies on straight actors and gay characters.

I decided to put this here because I post a lot of Hilson stuff. As an actor, this article hit a nerve. However, as a defender of free speech, Davies is allowed to have his opinion without me thinking of him as insensitive. Just like I am allowed to have my own opinion and argument, and ask questions without being labeled “homophobic, intolerant” etc. (that would just make me laugh because have you SEEN my blog? Anyway, I’ve seen a few other websites covering this article. I am also very skeptical of everything I read, including the sources, and I try not to blindly believe everything. That being said, I felt like posting this to get other opinions and ask honest question to help my understanding. If this has already been covered on Tumblr, please feel free to send me the conversations! Some background on me: I graduated with a BA in Theatre and have worked both on and off the stage since I was twelve years old. I have directed plays and an audio play. Given my experience and dedication to my craft, I think my opinion is worth something.

Also, for the sake of this argument, I am leaving trans-actors out because that’s a whole different post. Here is the article:

https://news.sky.com/story/russell-t-davies-straight-actors-should-not-play-gay-characters-12185652

Okay, so first things first, let’s talk about this: “Speaking to the Radio Times, Davies compared a straight actor playing a gay character to black face.” Something that irks me is when one person tries to speak for a whole community and doesn’t reference people from said community who might disagree: whether it’s the LGBTQ+ community, a religious community, medical community, etc. The list goes on. Here, Davies is speaking on behalf of, or speaking for, both the LGBTQ+ community and the black community, is he not? I am genuinely asking because I would like to be more educated on this kind of speech.

Then Davies says, "I'm not being woke about this... but I feel strongly that if I cast someone in a story, I am casting them to act as a lover, or an enemy, or someone on drugs or a criminal or a saint... they are NOT there to 'act gay' because 'acting gay' is a bunch of codes for a performance.” Does that not discredit his whole statement? If any actor does a caricature version of anything and doesn’t take it seriously or really works to get into the role and the mindset of a character, they’re not a good actor. At least, they’re not an actor that I’d want to hire. Second, by the logic that a straight person shouldn’t play a gay character, should someone without a criminal record not be able to play a criminal character? Before you go off and say “it’s about identity and sexuality, and playing a criminal is about the choice to break the law” or other arguments, I hear you. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the experience. How can an actor who has never committed a crime play a criminal character authentically? They do their research: reading, interviewing, etc. I’m not saying that an actor with a few minor marks on his record shouldn’t be considered for the same role. I’m saying that in an audition setting, if both of these actors were auditing for the role and the non-criminal-record actor just happened to do a better job and fit what the director and/or writer wanted, is that a mark against the criminal-record-actor? Maybe personally because we don’t know what the director is thinking. But chances are, it’s not a mark against the other actor. The other one just happened to have a better audition. Or, a major factor when considering casting, said actor was easy to work with--I’ve seen a lot of talented actors lose a lot of roles because of their inability to take criticism or notes.

Plus, the whole “Breaking Bad” series?? I highly doubt the main actors were meth-making drug-lords. Or, a better example, “The Wire?” In that show, we see the constant battle and deals between drug-lords and cops.

Another point I’d like to make: “...is a bunch of codes for a performance.” That’s exactly right. The audience doesn’t want to know an actor is “performing.” We know that going in, with what is called “suspension of disbelief.” We know the whole show is a performance, but we also expect the actors to be truthful (unless it’s a comedy/farce, but again, that’s a different argument).

Was it bad that, before 2020, some main characters in TV shows were portrayed as straight but the writers ended up “queer-baiting?” I am referring, of course, to House, M.D. (If you follow this blog, you’ll understand.) But I am also referring to the BBC Sherlock Holmes series. Yes, both pairs of characters (House and Wilson; Holmes and Watson) are assumed to be straight. However, some episodes allude that there could also be something more there. Even the actors have said in various interviews that they aren’t sure if it’s a true romance that the characters are afraid to face, or just a strong bond between best friends that blurs the line between platonic and romantic. I’m paraphrasing, but you get the picture. Therefore, should these characters have only been played by straight actors who are questioning their sexuality or feelings for a best friend? Would it have been disrespectful to gay people if these characters ended up becoming romantically involved? (If we ask the Hilson and Johnlock community, I’m guessing that’s a resounding “NO WAY! IT WOULD BE A DREAM COME TRUE!” xD <3)

“It's about authenticity, the taste of 2020.” *Cinema Sins sigh*

"You wouldn't cast someone able-bodied and put them in a wheelchair...” Again I say, directors and casting directors need to ALWAYS search for someone who is in a wheelchair, or deaf, or HOH, etc. before looking for an able-bodied actor to play a character with that disability (I’m iffy on the whole term “disability because of its negative connotations, but I’m using that word in order to keep this post as long as possible). But I give you the example of Rainman with Dustin Hoffman. Or A Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe. Or the play and movie Proof, where the father had a mental illness? Anthony Hopkins was diagnosed late in life with Asperger’s Syndrome, but the father in Proof was written to allude more to schizophrenia. And yet, Anthony Hopkins did a tremendous job in that role. Or Even Forrest Gump with Tom Hanks. Many people today love Tom Hanks and laud him as a “woke” celebrity. But if he were to portray the role of Forrest Gump today, how many people would try to “cancel” him or at least have very strong words for the director not casting an actor with autism, due to the character’s autistic tendencies? A whole lot of people on the internet and Twitter, I’ll bet. As someone who struggles with anxiety and panic disorder, would I be upset if someone without that mental illness got cast in a role of a character struggling with that? Sure I would. But if they did an authentic job and approached the role respectfully, it would be hard to stay irritated. Besides, there are always more roles created practically everyday.

To continue on with Davies’ quote: “...you wouldn't black someone up.” Yikes. I’m sure he didn’t mean this in a cast-off kind of way, but that’s how it comes across. I can see now why he said he wasn’t “being woke about this,” because a more “woke” way of putting that would be...what, exactly? “You wouldn’t cast a non-black person in a black role.” That sounds better and less harsh. Or even “a white person in a minority role.” Which should be common sense, and I agree with both statements.

And then “Authenticity is leading us to joyous places." Oh! Look at that! There’s that word that I’ve been using and emphasizing throughout this whole post! Authenticity is one major brick in the foundation of good, credible acting.

“High-profile examples of straight performers playing LGBTQ+ characters include Rami Malek's Oscar-winning portrayal of Freddie Mercury in Bohemian Rhapsody, and Taron Egerton's Golden Globe-winning turn as Sir Elton John in Rocketman.”

I haven’t seen Rocketman, but I saw Bohemian Rhapsody and it was great! Why am I high-lighting this movie? Because it’s the perfect example of a straight actor playing a gay character and playing it authentically, while also looking a lot like the real person they’re portraying. If a look-a-like had been cast who also happened to be gay, but couldn’t act to save their life or couldn’t bring as much as Rami brought to the role, wouldn’t that kind of put a damper on the film? And yet, Rami Maleck both looked the part and brought an authenticity to the role that many Queen fans loved and appreciated. Even the remaining Queen band members said that he did an incredible job and Freddy would be proud. I wonder if Freddy would care that Rami wasn’t gay? I doubt it, but no one can know for certain.

Then there’s the whole term “gay face.” I personally don’t think this is the right term to use because it could possibly diminish the whole meaning and importance of “black face.” Even if Corden appeared to be mocking gay people (I never watched The Prom so I have no idea what his performance was like), calling it “gay face” takes away from and inadvertently belittles the whole dark history of “black face.” Black face’s whole history comes out of an even darker history of racist times filled with hatred and ignorance. I’m not saying that gay people haven’t had their own experiences with hate and intolerance, but isn’t kind of “un-woke” and “insensitive” to compare the hundreds of years of blatant, public racism against an entire race of people to the intolerance of homosexuals? (Again, I’m asking this genuinely because I want to learn and get other people’s opinions. I’m not trying to speak for any community, and I recognize that my personal opinion on this matter is just that: my opinion. And I could be better informed.)

Along the lines of the above paragraph, is it wrong to say or think that casting a non-minority actor in a minority role is a lot different from casting a straight actor in a gay role? Sexuality comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors; that is to say, every race has people with different sexualities. But I think it would be pretty cringe if a Caucasian actress was cast in a role meant for an Asian or African-American woman.

Director Joe Mantello told Sky News the casting was not intentional, but rather a "very fortunate series of events".

He continued: "That being said, I think having an out gay cast really did inform the work and it took on a particular kind of tone because of that, which is not to say that's the only way to approach this material. But for this particular group, it did something that I think is very, very special. There's a chemistry that they have."

And this man summed up my entire argument! He also put into simpler terms what I have been trying to express about the beauty of theatre: there will always be special casts, especially when there’s a great chemistry from a shared experience. A "very fortunate series of events,” indeed. “The casting was not intentional...” leads me to believe that the director didn’t set out to have an all out-gay-cast, but rather, each actor brought great performances to their auditions and were considered by the director to be perfect for the roles. These actors also just happened to be gay.

If you’re still here after all of that, let me take a moment to sincerely thank you for reading the whole thing! I know it’s a lot, but I’m very passionate about acting and giving each and every actor a fair chance. Let me know what you think, and please be respectful!

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honestlyandrogynousnightmare · 3 years

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A study in Sherlock Holmes (s1e3)

So lets start this off on his inhumane tendencies. (FYI I do not believe he is a “high functioning sociopath”, pointing out his inhuman and sociopathic actions at the start of the series is just necessary to point out his development later on). BORED. This is truly when we first see how Sherlock acts in the absence of cases and distractions. He decides to shoot at a wall. The second odd thing we see is the head in the fridge. Its not exactly normal to keep heads in your fridge, though I'm not judging if you do. This sets his actions and beliefs throughout the episode up, perhaps not entirely ordinary and somewhat inhuman. This is continued through his behaviour towards the people who are making the phone calls. Its not that he doesn't entirely care, he focuses more on the case and the so called game instead. And that isn't entirely bad at all, its just clear that here, he lacks empathy for people. For whatever reason that is, whether he truly is a sociopath or he hides his feelings and emotions because it helps with cases. Though his focus on the case itself can go a bit far, especially the “although i did technically solve the case” part. Buttttt there is development by the end of the episode. Throughout the whole episode he ignores all the people getting killed but by the end he points out to Moriarty that "people have died" which shows that he does actually give a damn.

However, he does clearly feel upset when the old woman died and he was clearly stressed out of his mind when he has 10 seconds to save the little girl, so the emotions are there and you cant prove me otherwise lol.

Something else I noticed is that he is self aware of his lack of sympathy towards the victims. This is shown so greatly through the “heroes don't exist, if they did i wouldn't be one of them” quote. It not only shows that he is aware of the usual human reactions when bad things like this happen, it shows that he is aware of his emotional repression (or sociopathic tendencies if you believe that) but you could also say (this could be a stretch but oh well) that he doesn't entirely believe in himself either, because after all, his causes are good, he is on the good side but doesn't see himself as a necessarily good person.

Continuing on from my point on the study in TBB, i love his appreciation of the things he doesnt care much about. This is shown through the whole thing about the solar system, he cares about it so little that he doesn't know that the earth travels around the sun but he appreciates the beauty of it.

The ending of the episode is beautiful to me. When he thought he had to set the bomb off, his entire façade was broken. For those 2 seconds, vulnerability and perhaps even regret are the only things written on his face. Because he doesnt want to die, hes young, finally made a friend and loves his job, death is probably the last thing he wants. I saw this in a tumblr post a while ago, i cant remember the name of the blog but they said that this was the rebellious, rule breaking, disobedient child Mycroft sees and i think its a perfect summary.

This one could be a stretch too buttttt Donavan calling Sherlock a "freak" his expression does seem to change a little. It has always seemed to me that he really was bothered by people making fun of him, especially as he was made fun of at Uni and probably even before that. I'm not sure if it's me seeing things but it just shows that he does feel things and is actually affected by people like Donavan.

Now onto relationships:

The key thing about his relationship with John is the contrast between them, it's interesting how two such different people manage to live together. John is clearly still not entirely used to living with him, or perhaps will never fully be because let's face it, Sherlock isnt the most ordinary person. Their differences do seem to cause some issues though. Espiecally because John is prioritising lives instead of the game itself. Something I love is the "I'd be lost without my blogger" phrase. As funny and sarcastic as that may be, he does mean it. Because she literally would be lost without John, and that is shown throughout the rest of the series, everytime John and sherlock are separated, they're either not happy or one of them nearly dies. He does also give John a chance at deduction, not to make fun of him, just plainly giving him a chance which shows that it's not all arguments between them and that they are really friends. There is that small scene when John first steps out at the pool, when we cant see the bomb yet, when Sherlock really does start doubting John, so many emotions pass through him in that millisecond, I dont even need to list them, think about what you thought when first watching that. It was set up that way, us and Sherlock are meant to have the same reaction, shock, confusion, doubt, literal pain. Obviously that passes quickly, those emotions turn to worry for John. Something I feel like Sherlock never experienced to that extent, worrying for another person's safety. One other thing is the fact that they non verbally agreed to die together which is so telling of their relationship and how strong it is

His relationship with Mycroft is literally a classic sibling relationship put to the extreme. Sherlock is childish towards Mycroft, doesnt do a case hes interested in because Mycroft suggests it, and Mycroft is the stereotypical older sibling, calls Sherlock stupid every moment he can, acts like a greater human being but really does care about him.

Now onto Moriarty. Their characters mirror eachother so much, they have always been two sides of the same coin in my opinion. It's literally in their names "Colsultant Detective" and "Consulting Criminal". They're both smart, enjoy the game more than any outcome, and both have a great fashion sense. Sherlock admits it himself, "I cant be the only person in the world that gets bored", he knows why Moriarty is doing this, because hes similar to him, at least in that moment in time. Moriarty is what Sherlock could have become without Mycroft, whether he wants to admit it or not, Mrs Hudson, Lestrade, Molly and John. Though I dont believe they are overly similar later on in the series, when Sherlocks true colours start coming through, at this moment in time they are very similar. But anyway, their differences will be explored later on, when Sherlocks emotional side decides to show up. Though I wanna point out that Moriarty knows about Sherlocks sentimental side. He knows that he has a heart, and it's clear that Sherlock is just hiding that because Jim says that they "both" know. That heart, will later be "burned", apparently. And though Moriarty may not actually win after TRF, I still hold the opinion that he does partly, as throughout season 3 we do see how burned Sherlocks heart was buT THATS AN ESSAY FOR ANOTHER TIME!

#sherlock #sherlockian #superwholock #bbc sherlock #Sherlock holmes #sherlock series 1 #john watson #Johnlock #benedict cumberbatch #character analysis #character study #what am i doing

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mcfiddlestan · 3 years

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Fic Writer Interview Meme

Tagged by @teadrinkingwolfgirl

Name: On here I go by La or LaLa (LaLopez1981 was my original username). McFiddleStan is my username on most social accounts, but nobody has ever shortened it to like McFiddy or something. LOL

Fandoms: Mostly MCU/Marvel. And it's the only fandom I write for these days. I have fanfics from 20yrs ago for the *NSYNC/Xtina fandoms. But I participate in other fandoms on a mostly outer margin way. I don't read fics for a lot but I've read some LOTR, BBC Sherlock, DC fics. But I don't tend to venture far from Marvel.

Two Shot: I can barely write a one-shot. So, no. LOL

Most Popular Fics: According to AO3, my top 3 most kudos'd are Black Light Special, Empire State of Mind, and Can I Bum A Ride?. But if I were to go by the fics I get feedback on most...the Picture Perfect Series is the most popular.

Actual Worst Part of Writing: Getting started. I have ideas, I can have entire conversations between my characters while I'm walking around or cooking or showering. But I sit down in front of my laptop or pull out a notebook and nada.

How you choose your titles: Song titles mostly. Almost everything I write is inspired by a song or there's a song that fits the plot. The fics not titled after a song usually are titled with a phrase from the dialogue within the story.

Do you outline: I do now. Back when I started writing, I just sat down and wrote. I used to carry a notebook to jot down dialogue or scenes that came to me. These days, my short-term memory is shite. So as soon as I get an idea, I start writing down who, what, where, when, and go as far as my brain will take me.

Ideas you probably won’t get around to but wouldn’t it be nice: I can't even go there. I have so many WIPs sitting on my laptop, or in notebooks scattered around my bedroom, waiting to be written. I've written a chapter or two of something, got distracted, or pulled away, and by the time I find it again, I have no idea where I was going with it.

Callouts @ me: Um, shit or get off the pot, Lopez. You have several chapters of several works ready to go. Just fucking post them already.

Best Writing Traits: Idk. I've gotten compliments that my writing is easy to imagine, that it's easy to picture it like a movie as they read. Which makes sense since it plays like a movie in my head while I'm writing. And I've also heard I write very realistically.

Tangential opinion: Not every relationship needs to be a romance. Not every soulmate has to be a romantic one. Fic writers, in general, I think, don't emphasize enough how life-changing a friendship can be. I like to think I make BFFs just as important as love interests in my fics.

Tagging @incredifishface @incubigirl @maeve-curry-writes -- I've tagged a lot of people today so let's just say if you're reading this, you're tagged.

#teadrinkingwolfgirl #fic writer interview meme

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the-signs-of-two · 3 years

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Do you think there are still hopes for season 5? A lot of articles claim that there is no future for sherlock holmes and that we should give up our hopes of season 5. Thoughts?

Ouf.

Tough one. And a long one to answer. But I want to be truthful and thorough.

Based purely on advertising and how keen people are to keep audiences invested, I don’t think they’re allowing us much hope. It’s been almost four years and they’ve done very little to maintain any kind of hype or interest, perhaps with the exception of keeping the escape room going. The sad truth of it is that a show will rarely get picked up for a new series if the majority of viewers have moved on. And they’ve done very little to keep their viewers excited about the prospect of a series 5.

Then, of course, there’s the elephant in the room, whether you’re a hardcore TJLC’er or a casual viewer: the fact that series 4, on a surface level, was just... not very good. It looks and feels disjointed and very different from the previous series and casual viewers don’t want to spend hours and hours trying to figure out if it was actually better than its surface narrative. That sort of thing - taking a long hiatus, hyping a new series by saying it’ll be television history and then delivering a somewhat lukewarm product - drives viewers away. And like I said, if most viewers no longer care, chances are it won’t be picked up for a new series.

That’s one way to look at it. But what about the actual story?

The show is called Sherlock. And I think, putting my Johnlock-glasses to the side, you could actually argue that Sherlock does come full circle. In series 1, Sherlock is driven almost entirely by his logic. He’s arrogant, cocky and he makes a show of being disdainful and unfeeling, even if you get small glimpses showing that that isn’t actually who he is. With every series, Sherlock has moved further away from that and become a softer, more emphatic version of himself - a version of himself who cares more about making his close ones happy than about making himself look cool and mysterious. Series 4 does seem to complete that narrative. They made Eurus into the synthesis of everything Sherlock was and tried to be in the beginning of the show and turned that against Sherlock - and I actually really like that. I think it works. When Sherlock says that they’re “experiencing science from the perspective of lab rats”, we’re reminded of the time when he would do something similar: when he would pretend to be Ian Monkford’s friend to get information from his wife, when he would scare/traumatise the already traumatised headmistress to get information on two missing children, when he would compliment Molly’s hair to convince her to show him two bodies. In each instance, it was to do good, to get ahead in a case, but it was also a coldly calculated piece of manipulation, one which Sherlock showed zero regret for. The way he acted in first couple of series hurt other people - sometimes you wouldn’t feel any remorse for them, but sometimes it was Sherlock’s closest. Let’s take the most obvious example: locking John in a lab after (as far as he knew) drugging him, then providing him with sound effects and watching what would happen on the monitors. Don’t you think John experienced science from the perspective of a lab rat then? Sherlock is a different person now, but TFP also forces him to come to terms with the consequences of his previous behaviour. He has to confront logical problems - kill one man or three men, kill one man or two people will die, save Molly’s life etc. - but he has to face the emotional consequences of those logical decisions. He can’t just look away as he used to do. Seen in that way, I actually think TFP does provide a poignant culmination of Sherlock’s character arc. When Lestrade says that Sherlock is now a good man rather than a great man, it does feel earned.

However. Then there’s... well, everyone else. I’m pretty sure I could tell you what John’s character arc was all about in HLV. If this is the end, I no longer know what his character arc was. John makes horrible decision upon horrible decision in series 4. A cynical reading would be that he’s “stupid for the plot”. They needed to drive a wedge between Sherlock and John for TLD, so they didn’t care that John’s decision to blame Sherlock for Mary’s death in TST makes absolutely no sense. Then there’s the morgue scene, which... To be fair, it has actually been foreshadowed that John is a violent person. That he has very bad aggression issues and that he deals with a lot of anger in a physical manner. Sherlock isn’t perfect, but John certainly isn’t either. And I actually think the morgue scene could work in that light. Hear me out. Sherlock has done bad things to John, he really has, and all those things have been in line with his character and a reflection of his flaws. John beating Sherlock up could work in the same way. But it HAS TO BE ADDRESSED. When Sherlock does something morally reprehensible and psychologically scarring, it’s not presented as acceptable. When Sherlock locks John in the lab, you FEEL that what he did was unacceptable. John calls him out for it and it’s discussed. And this happens a number of times and each time, Sherlock shows more and more regret for his actions. He begins to apologise. He begins to try to change. If the morgue scene is going to work as a low point in John’s morality which prompts him to feel regret and try to change, it needs to be presented that way. It needs to be presented as bad (it is), it needs to be presented as a low point (it is), but it also needs to be presented as unjustified, unacceptable and inexcusable. No matter how you feel, beating up your best friend is never okay. Just as no matter how badly you need to solve a case, experimenting on your best friend by subjecting him to a terror-indusing drug and locking him up to examine the effects is never okay. But John isn’t called out for this and it’s never discussed. That leaves John with no incentive to change, no moment of remorse and regret, no need to make amends. So, in a way, the series leaves him at his absolute lowest. Which isn’t a character arc, friends.

Then there’s Molly. After the most heartbreaking betrayal of all time, the series just... ends. Like, she’s there at the end and it’s all fine. The part where the man she loved told her to tell him that she loved him FOR AN EXPERIMENT and then she took the opportunity to make him say it in return, clinging on to those three words like her life depended on it... yeah, that happened, but he presumably told her that he had to do it and it was all fine. No lasting emotional damage or mistrust there.

You could argue that Mycroft does come full circle too. In TAB, he decides to relinquish control over Sherlock and instead tells John to take care of him in his place. In TFP, he goes all the way and decides to die to let John live. In doing so, he acknowledges that Sherlock needs John more than he needs Mycroft, but also that John is better for Sherlock than Mycroft ever was. After a lifetime of controlling and watching over Sherlock against his will, he finally decides to let Sherlock go live his own life and make his own decisions. And he proves his love by being prepared to die to give Sherlock happiness with John.

So... yeah. I think some character arcs did actually come full circle, while others definitely didn’t. I just took the most obvious examples here.

As a background story for the Holmes family, I don’t really think it works. To me, it doesn’t explain why Sherlock and Mycroft are the way they are - and it certainly is weird that their parents seem so normal and unconcerned about the whole thing. Buried trauma is definitely a thing, but there doesn’t seem to be any obvious correlation between what happened with Eurus and who Sherlock was at the beginning of the series. As for Mycroft... I honestly don’t know how he feels about Eurus, apart from the fact that he’s scared of her.

Then there’s the part where John flat out tells Sherlock that a romantic relationship would complete him as a human being. This goes completely unresolved. Are we meant to assume that Sherlock called Irene after this conversation and they got together? 1) Why should we assume this? And 2) effing straight culture, let him be gay, because he is.

To summarise... I don’t think TFP works as a conclusion. Some things are resolved, some are not. I think there’s so much story and plot left unresolved that a series 5 would definitely have story points to work with. Also, once you’ve said that a character needs a romantic relationship, you need to go through with that or it turns into a major hole in said character arc.

Getting a little more tinfoil hat-y, I think the television history, gut-punch moment could be a recreation of the circumstances around The Final Problem. The Final Problem seemingly finished the Sherlock Holmes stories by having Sherlock die. People were outraged and deeply upset. It took ten years for ACD to undo it and reveal that Sherlock had actually survived. Trying to recreate the atmosphere surrounding a beloved piece of literature in 1893 - that sort of thing has never been attempted before and would be television history. And in that light, it would make sense that they aren’t encouraging the rumours surrounding series 5. They need to make people think that Sherlock is “dead” if they are going to resurrect him. That’s the tinfoil hat speaking, but I can’t help but find it an intriguing idea. And I would be DOWN.

Still, they didn’t need to make series 4 bad for this to work. They could have just made it end sadly. Series 4 being bad and difficult to understand lost them a lot of viewers. And sadly, viewers are what make shows happen. In that sense, I think it could backfire very severely if that is their plan.

So there you have it. I haven’t lost hope. I think there’s still story and plot and characters that would make series 5 worth making. And of course I’ve only discussed surface narratives in this post. If some of the theories proposed by us (EMP) should turn out to be correct, it could fix a lot of the problems with series 4 and make for a fantastic gut-punch moment in series 5. But I will admit that I’m concerned it won’t be greenlit because people have lost interest. If it’s no longer likely to have a large audience because series 4 was bad, they may not be able to make it even if that was their original intent. Or they may need to really amp up the hype when and if they make series 5.

I hope this long ramble answered your question.

#Sherlock #BBC Sherlock #S5 #my thoughts #anon asks

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fruitylibrarian · 3 years

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quest of the spear live rewatch!

i already spewed my pre call to adventure flynn thoughts all over a text post but I would like to repeat: pre-canon flynn my beloved <3

yes he is a bit of a bastard but he just loves his books and he’s so genuinely just like. passionate and like…. Big? does that make sense? like i mean inside. not literally. bright

flynn’s mom is so fucking funny

and she’s Trying Her Best

you know one thing I don’t understand, I assume that flynn could afford to keep going to college because of like grants and scholarships since he’s all smart and like, even if his mom is well off, no one below the morally bankrupt millionaire line can pay for 22 degrees and not die of no-money-itis otherwise known as Starving

but like. why not become a professor or some other academia position?

you’d be incredibly overqualified and you’re a white dude, so while academia isn’t exactly bursting with new spaces to fill I’m sure you could find something???? and like. a professor in particular, while baby flynn might not be great at the connection part, seems like a natural progression to at least try for considering it keeps you in that comfort zone and familiar space just in a different albeit familiar role, and allows you to go on long lectures people can’t interrupt. and like, professors literally like, part of their job is research and to continue learning, so like. it seems like the natural choice for him to go for?

don’t get me wrong, baby flynn in particular might not be extremely well suited considering his lack of people skills, but plenty of professors are brilliant slightly odd smarties who give long, super engaging theatrical lectures (sounds like him!) but suck at one on one meetings and talking to people or may be accidentally insulting, but like, their class is genuinely interesting and they grade decently so like, I think he could get past that hurdle is what I’m saying

obviously he’d have to work at it and get the skills necessary but you know what that means? MORE SCHOOL, BABY! just in a different direction! like just? it seems like the obvious choice for his situation

ah yes!!! magic letter!!! it’s kind of funny they do this, it’s a great hook and way to make applicants go Uh Excuse Me and want to know more but also like, there’s no proof magic happened either?

although you’d think some people would get obsessive like let me tell you if i encountered real ass magic like that i wouldn’t stop until i had an answer

ah the Incredibly Long Interview Line. it’s kinda how funny how like. Not Special he is but at the same time he is?

“never been treated so badly in my entire life!” what did you say to him charlene

i’m sure he deserved it i just want to know

wait oh no i just realized

all these people are dead

every single one of them got murdered in the first episode of the series

jesus that’s dark

not gonna be able to stop thinking about that one huh

also love how it’s pretty evenly men and women

although it’s still mostly white

fuck that lady just left crying I know they’re doing this to turn up the drama but DAMN, charlene

god he almost gave up. remember the timeline episode where he never became the librarian? weird.

Gkjlfkgjhfglh Where Do You Think You’re Going? (weak gesture like “me?”) Yes You. Get In Here amazing how can she even see him she’s around the CORNER. camera? magical surveillance? why? just to freak people out? amazing.

i do so love charlene, it’s a shame she wasn’t in the show more

also she literally never explains shit. What Makes You Think You Can Be The Librarian he doesn’t even know what that means, charlene

He Doesn’t Even Have A Library Science Degree

oh wow he does actually have librarian qualifications lmao

why did i not remember that

DLKFGJDFG I did remember him sherlocking her tho

wait her MARRIAGE? to WHO?

i thought her and judson were a thing despite jenkins being into her or something?

huh

also why does this qualify him to be The Librarian™ like oh he can sherlock? ok?

maybe it’s just bc he had the balls to do it

well, the sherlock thing is also not completely unhelpful it just doesn’t seem central to his skills, or at least, not the way he uses it (do we see him use it like this again? he usually applies more obscure knowledge then ye classic deduction sherlockian skills if I remember correctly which I may not because my brain is smooth)

judson is such a fucking drama queen

LKDJFGLKDJFGLDKFJG I FUCKING FORGOT HE LITERALLY JUST FUCKING REPEATED HIS MOM’S LITTLE PHRASE AMAZING

also why did he seem to think her sending everyone home meant he didn’t get it why would she stop all interviews because you fucked up

he just fucking walked out of a wall judson you are so dramatic

also warehouse 13 vibes huh. welcome to a world of endless wonder

I could do a whole fucking thesis on warehouse 13 and the librarians or—well that’s a whole other tangent

anYWYA

this interview was remarkably easy tho, it’s not like he wasn’t impressive but it wasn’t mindblowing either????? this coming from a big fan of flynn

the big shiny wonderous eyes as the library lights up……flynn my beloved

also his floofy hair ldkfgjdlkfgj

he’s like this is too good am I being prank’d

why the mona lisa?????iIs the mona lisa magic??? It only became famous because it got stolen why would it be magic??? Is this one of those we make it magic by believing it or some shit things???

Flynn Do Not Open The Random Box In The Library Of Incredibly Dangerous Artifacts

oh hello excalibur !!

oh rip flynn immediately being like “oh im not worthy, trust me” with 100 percent certainty im hurt oof

KSJFLGKDJGLKDJG THE APPLE “the apple from the garden of eden…….” *judson takes a bite* “actually I just left this here”

excalibur hello properly!!!!

judson is such a fucking DRAMA QUEEN he’s so casual!! and cal you too you slippery bitch!

ah the jetpack.

DLFKGJDLKFGJ “it usually takes a new librarian four hours to find the jetpack. you did it in three! congratulations” love the implication that every librarian (at least since it was added to the library) has done this no matter how serious like the bad guy of this movie… *checks notes* edware wilde? jetpack. darrington dare, probably? jetpack. i like to think jenkins did it too (not technically a librarian, but you know)

flynn thinking of himself as embarrassing… ☹

HIS MOM IS SO PROUD OF HIM

part sweet, part funny, part rip

I don’t know what she was expecting when he said librarian tho like. originally he literally looked at shit for FRY COOk degrees don’t always mean shit you know

and librarian is up there with professor in Perfect Jobs For Flynn like what did you expect??? Like even if he’d become an archaeologist (a “cool” job) it’s not like that pays super well either as far as I know??

he was never going to be Traditionally Successful

he’s still the same person he still has the same strengths and passions of course he would go into academia and do something like librarian like????? her reaction saddens me.

just be happy for him!! look at him!!!

ok first of all even normal non magic librarians don’t just put books on shelves and that’s a condescending reduction of the job, and second of all, he is so happy!! he has a job, he’s taking responsibility, he’s meeting people, isn’t that enough??? isn’t that literally what you wanted??? even if it WERE what you think it is why couldn’t it just be a good first step??? like??? fuck??? you did been know that he was doing all those fancy degrees because he loved them not because they’d get him some super fancy job??? I mean egyptology is not the most profitable field you know this isn’t med school or whatever

god.

flynn’s mom, visibly not proud and very upset: of course im proud of you!

ok im being a little unfair, she’s trying and clearly she’s been supportive of him, if not straight up enabling of him, but like this is clearly being presented as like. normal person who is normal forced to take care of freakish strange son who is so nerdy and strange and a loser and she is so tired of his shenanigans and all that WORK she put in and he’s NOT FANCY AND CHANGING TO CONFORM TO HER IDEALS OF A GOOD SUCCESSFUL SON/MAN?

and that’s just all very. sigh.

the snake brotherhood are such obnoxiously cheesy villainous villains they’re even called the snake brotherhood

also I think we’re supposed to recognize him as the previous librarian from the painting but if I didn’t already know that I for sure would not know that

smartass flynn is a smartass

I never got people bringing someone coffee to impress them unless they knew their order like there’s no way you know who she likes her coffee so you could so easily get it wrong—like even if you don’t know exactly how much sugar she wants, you could also just get it entirely wrong like assume she likes black coffee but she likes it super sweet, or vice versa, or whatever. it can go wrong so easily!

or she could go “I Hate A Kiss Ass”

she did take it anyway tho so.

ah i did forget (or just not actively think about) how much like… christian mythology there is in this show :/ I mean we did been knew (excalibur and arthurian legend are pretty important to the mythology)

not that christian mythology is inherently bad it just gets a) annoying, b) boring, and c) y’know, very western centric and all

but then trying to reconcile di—you know what that’s a tangent for another time

then again I do assume no one is going to read this

the library really does just throw new librarians into death and go “hope this is fine!” huh

did they just imply god is canon in the “the librarian” universe

you were so cryptic with the no one thing!! just say NOONE

he’s scribbling in his notebook and mumbling out loud what a mood and I love him. what a nerd

ldfkgjdlkjg god sexy jazz music and a breeze this is so dumb

I do hate the forced love interests in all these movies it’s always like Some Hot Girl Is There And They Get It On!

like he really had chemistry with eve and banter but here it kinda feels like that wish fulfilment and then the nerd gets the hot chick the end and im saying that as the nerd

it doesn’t help that each movie has a different one who immediately is dropped as if she never existed afterwards

maybe it’s not as bad as I remember but. sigh

my instant impression of her is to not like her sorry nicole :/

she’s just so rude? she’s like. hot (derogatory)

i get there’s gender politics here with like. she’s used to being treated like a piece of meat and generally like, why not reap the benefits when you are going to get the creeps too, but like, also she’s just so unnecessarily rude—I mean rejecting his clumsy flirting is one thing but you know—ok I won’t even get into that the point is I just don’t really like her that much even tho I don’t think she’s necessarily a bad person or anything you know

but to be fair I think she got better and I remember her being compelling in her return to the show

and like. I do like how the trend in this franchise is “smart little nerd librarian and badass lady guardian kicks ass” but I do wish that it turned around occasionally. we do get cassandra but like. more lady librarians

wow an air marshal? aren’t they rarely even on flights?

sorry im being nitpicky there for sure lmao. please delete the cinamasins ding my words probably summoned from your brain

I get why shoving him out was necessary but also Wow

Gjklhkjfgh imagine sitting next to some mumbling nerd the whole flight and then you see him fly past the windows

LFKGJDLKJDFG he brilliantly lowers our expectations then jumps without a chute! remarkable!

hilarious or commentary on men getting credit for womens’ competency? why not both

i really thought that she was going to be a lying liar the first time I watched this

ah naïve boy. “uh that’s against the law”

flynn’s greatest strength isn’t just his knowledge but his like. breadth of different topics, just like, passion for learning of any time, and like. the ability to not just know a lot of different things but cross-reference and apply them to each other and use them in tandem to understand a greater whole

and we love that for him!

ah flynn therapizing himself lmao

why would she take him going “this bridge is rotting and physically cant support our weight” as a challenge

or him being cowardly like THE STRUCTURAL SUPPORTS ARE ROTTING

YEAH WHAT DID YOU EXPECT OF COURSE HE FUCKING FELL

ok i lied i like nicole i just don’t love their dynamic

i get what they’re going for i just. not my thing

like with eve there was still a clear mutual respect? i guess? idk

maybe it’s just because i’m more sensitive to mean banter? i don’t like mean banter, even when it’s like, def 100 percent well meaning and not mean spirited and no one is actually offended or hurt

although despite not liking their Thing I do a) think it’s very cute how he looks at her, b) their vibe as they start to get to know each other is Better, c) the end of the movie scene where she rides in for maximum drama? now that was good shit.

oh he’s sherlocking her in a shy attempt to impress her but it’s only going to piss her off, right?

oh she’s just sherlocking him back

KSGFJLDKFGJ LMAO “nerd” and that’s it. fair

Cutting Off His Head damn that’s hardcore

hmmmm cringe,

and more cringe

and cringe.

her waking up to him gone right after telling that story about waking up to her librarian gone and then killed—oof

love the serpent brotherhood lady being like wow!! he’s SO COMPETENT!! (cuts to him screaming)

do these ancient traps just have infinite arrows?

also I do love the whole waltzing across trope what can I say im a sucker

DFLKGLDKFGJLDKJG fucking CHUCKS SOMETHING AT IT and immediately where he would be standing is crushed by a huge rock amazing

he literally just chucked a rock at it and it fell over

ah the classic “let the hero get it for us” move

oh there he is! rip

why does he look like macpherson

not really but kind of

also contrast between the lady always being like “omg the librarian is so smart” and him assuming nicole is the one who did the smart thing

“your tears were perfect” how much more of an asshole can you get

They really could have played him as more sympathetic—“oh, we’re always around these powerful artifacts but we never use them for good! I had to do it, I was sick of sitting back and doing nothing” or like “all those years of danger and guarding powerful things and what good did it ever do me? what do I get for my service?” or anything but nah hes just like “mm power good babes. anyway I love sex and being mean”

to be fair flynn he was the librarian too—a real librarian? I mean yeah edward was corrupted and ultimately failed his duties but he had to have been qualified and actually got the job for a reason

flynn I know you think you sound badass but you really don’t

god not shangri-la again. everything the show did with that was. Bad. yikes

why is—god, I should really learn her name [checks notes] lana fangirling so much?

also following the lamia tradition of “serpent brotherhood second in command who is more interesting than the main evil white guy and also a pretty woc” huh

never got like “this is literally impossible” “well do it or I [generic bad guy threat]” like usually that means nothing lmao

LDFKGJLDKFJLDKFGJ ok first of all god is me? bitch?

second of all. me in english? on this fucking ancient very much not english thing? I mean I guess a) it might not be literal, even though he did say “m, e” by letters, b) it is a christian myth so maybe planted later??? but like?????

dude. giving the super powerful artifact to your prisoner? bad idea. if you’re worried about booby traps have a minion do it.

oh yes your gun is so scary in the face of a temple collapsing

why do heroes always think the whatever is safer with them than the temple that’s guarded it for a thousand years

I get it’s been discovered but like. fuck. still

You Are Going To Crash This Helicopter

SLKGJ HORRIBLE HIGH VELOCITY PIE OF DEATH

flynn and judson…..wholesome

oh here comes more forced romance

just let them be friends who grow to mutually respect each other blease

it is very fucking funny that the mom is like ….. oh my god…. oh my god,,, a WOMAN AJUST ANSEWREDM Y SDONGS PHONE?????????OH MY GOFD?????

he is bisexual. but it’s good he’s getting out

ah floofy hair

cahooting,

Yes You Do Need Clothes

that’s a teleporter sir

god eddie wild is such a boring fucking villain and person

and his plan SUCKS

also the serpent brotherhood (why BROTHERhood?) sucks and hates the library why would they just let this guy, a librarian, literally be their new leader

wow he just stabbed a guy on his OWN TEAM for no reason

great going asshole

love how lana is just like…. O-O

we stan lana. she hasn’t done much and she’s technically a bad guy i just love her

“at last we can be one” what does that even mean

why would lana or any of them want to help him he just killed one of their own for no reason hes clearly tripping on power and leaving yall to die

lfkgjdlkfgj flynn dodging so hard while the others is fight and then PUNCHING A GUY

dfglkjdflgkj wait it’s the professor dude why is that so funny

is he WITH THEM??? I think I just missed something

hold on a sec

yeah I think he just appears??? And flynn just fucking broke his nose iconic

wait so was he with them or is he just here going WHY ARE THERE RANDOM PEOPLE IN MY PYRAMID????????????

oh right he built the—ok I got it

Wait what

I mean I did think lana was neat and she seemed impressed with flynn but what shes just like, in love with him now? that makes zero fucking sense why would she want them to Be Together

Is it just so there can be a catfight between the two hot chicks?

seriously tho? morally pure blonde blue eyed girl versus Evil Asian Chick? really?

for the record NOT THAT IT MATTERS but lana is way cuter im just saying

ah badass judson

THE COMEDY OF THE CAPSTONE CRUSHING HIM DLFKGJDLKFGJ

oh………….pulling out excalibur…. predicable but so good

oh the painting….the very Parenty way of revealing it…… wholesome

oh did NOT like that transition

oh here comes the badass fucking entrance with his gf busting in on his mom trying to set him up with girls

HER ENTRANCE IS SO UNNECESSARAILY DRAMATIC I LOVE THEM

I just love the mom’s face ldfkgjldfkgjdlkfgjdlkfjgd shes like WHAT THEGUFVCJK

again I don’t love the vibes of “oh my weird loser son is finally normal!” but to be fair im exaggerating a bit from just facial expressions it’s just. sigh

but ngl the vindication of him being able to be like. yeah that’s right im a badass now and my gf is cool as fuck is still good

him and nicole do have not terrible vibes at the end but if I remember correctly that mission (time travelling ninjas and hg wells’s time machine) is the one that separated them so rip I guess

overall: good movie! as cringe as I remember but I still love flynn so much

#flynn carsen #the librarian: quest for the spear #going to bed now. perhaps the others tomorrow

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