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maverick-werewolf · 1 month

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Werewolf Article - (Play As A) Werewolf Video Games

The results of the poll for this month on my Patreon are in, and the winner is an opinionated article on werewolf video games! Apologies in advance if any of my opinions here anger you. I was asked for opinionated, so I went opinionated and did not hold back.

For clarity's sake: this will be a relatively concise list of SOME video games in which you can or do play as a werewolf. It will NOT include every single game in which you can or do play as a werewolf, nor will it include certain kinds of playable werewolves that exist in gaming, for the sake of brevity. You'll notice some missing and then want to be first to tell me I left out [thing], but I assure you I am aware of those too. I am also not going to list games in which you can play as a werewolf but it requires either user-made mods or else playing in a custom campaign/tileset/server (like Neverwinter Nights <3), only games wherein you can play as a werewolf as part of base game or expansion pack mechanics.

This IS a tiered list. It is tiered based on the werewolf gameplay mechanics and elements in the game.

Let's get started. I will begin at #9, go to #1, and then I will close with some words on some other games that didn't make the numbered list.

9. World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

Note: your player character will never have torn-up clothing or use his claws like in this artwork/like the enemy worgen do

I'm just going to list Cataclysm here because, frankly, I don't even want to discuss WoW at Shadowlands and beyond... even if discussing the model update will reach into that era of content. Obviously, I don't play WoW anymore and haven't in quite a while, but yeah, I used to really enjoy it. Played it for many, many years. Probably too many.

Cataclysm was a pretty outright bad expansion, but it did add playable worgen (something I obviously wanted from day 1 after seeing the worgen mobs running around), and they can even turn into human form, which is a must for me in terms of actually being a werewolf instead of just a wolf-person, which I wouldn't even roll. That was a nice touch I didn't actually expect from the devs.

Unfortunately, the model update turned them into something far "cuter" and more cuddly than I liked, not to mention adding preposterous fur options like stripes and merle, but the human form customization was nice. Still, the model update drove me toward playing different races, like maining my kul'tiran and night elf instead of the worgen I was always ultimately pretty disappointed in, given his wearing fine armor and wielding giant weapons. Anyway, the entire game took a huge nosedive not long after the model change, so it's a moot point for me regardless.

As for the deeper worgen lore beyond "they are werewolves with a funny name": I hate it with all my heart. I did my best to ignore every scrap of that and how they are just self-parodies, to delete the Gilneas/worgen starting zone quests from my entire brain, and especially to ignore the fact that they were all preposterously British despite England being one of the last places historically to even have many werewolf legends of its own. I have an article about that here if you are interested in the topic. The game made all of these things very difficult, especially how hard they wanted to drive home that the worgen are silly posh British parody dog-people strutting around in waistcoats and tophats instead of being fearsome cursed werewolves. So I won't bother going into all that.

The mechanics are fun except for the fact that you have to wear armor and use weapons, so ultimately you just look like a beast-person instead of a werewolf, especially after the model change making them far more appealing to a certain demographic. If Blizzard had wanted to put in effort, they would have made your gear look tattered and would have made you swap to claws when you turn, but that would've been a lot of work. They could have at least added a specialized class or something and then also given it to some Horde races to make the precious Horde players happy. I don't know. I just think werewolves wearing fine clothes and armor and wielding weapons is immensely silly. They're supposed to be werewolves.

So while they are extremely far from perfect, the worgen are at least relatively fun in that, if nothing else, you can go between werewolf and human forms and run on all fours as fast as the fastest ground mount, and I am deeply surprised they did either. I immensely enjoyed both of those things during my time playing a worgen, and they helped mitigate the great disappointment otherwise in many other regards - though not enough to keep me from maining other races, especially later on. But, in the end, WoW sucks now and it's unrecoverable, and WoW Classic is a joke, so I'll never be playing a worgen again anyway.

8. Diablo II

I'm sure you were looking for this one - the werewolf druid in Diablo II (preemptive sidebar: I am not going to talk about Diablo IV). I love his design and gameplay mechanics. He's fantastic. However, he is of course yet another instance of "the werewolf must be a druid," which I personally find a little tiresome after so much of it. But hey, this was one of the earlier games to do that, so it predated a lot of the craze.

At any rate, the Druid class in Diablo II obviously gets a werewolf form. It also gets a requisite werebear because werewolves can almost never just be werewolves, but at least the werewolf does not completely suck. You can also summon wolves, which is a bonus.

While I'm not really that big on Diablo-type gameplay - I prefer either third-person or else a proper isometric, party-based RPG - so Diablo II didn't really hold my interest a lot, the werewolf druid is very fun and a very cool werewolf, the setting is great, and the werewolf suits the dark Gothic feeling and look of the game that is enjoyable and well conveyed in the first place. The werewolf druid is a great addition that I am glad they added.

7. Baldur's Gate II

Let me make something perfectly clear: Baldur's Gate II is, in my opinion, the best game ever made (only Uncharted 2: Among Thieves also makes this rank for me). Combined with BG1 to create the Baldur's Gate Saga, it is one of the best stories ever told and also my favorite game mechanics-wise, again alongside Uncharted 2 even if yes, I know that those games could almost not be farther apart in terms of mechanics. I absolutely love BG2 beyond words. Please note I am talking about the original Baldur's Gate II, as released in 2000, not the "Enhanced Edition," which is a disgrace to the game, the entire series, and a piece of garbage. It's shamefully difficult to find the original game anymore, but it's worth it over playing the EE; trust me. I'll try to spare you any further ranting on this topic, as the original Baldur's Gate Saga is something very close to my heart.

Anyway, the werewolf in BG2 is - once again - a druid, specifically a druid subclass called Shapeshifter. It doesn't really have any werewolf gameplay mechanics in that you are not treated differently for it, nor do you transform out of your own control. In fact you will be spending the majority of your time in werewolf form, which can get quite tiresome. I'm not the biggest fan of a werewolf holding normal conversations with NPCs, etc. But regardless, it's there, and I love it, and it looks awesome, and that's more than I can say for so many games. Plus, you get cool bonuses and stuff. The power of it varies over time and with the progression of your character. I will not go too deeply into it, as I am actually an insane D&D video game nerd and even today I can spend far too much time building characters and tweaking numbers and doing ridiculous tricks in D&D games to powergame. If you want just one of my credentials I beat BG2 on the hardest difficulty with Ascension and no other gameplay mods. Long story short, the Greater Werewolf is quite powerful, and it shouldn't be a detriment to your party to either be one or bring along Cernd, one of my favorite companions.

So don't listen to the people down on the Shapeshifter in BG2. You can get mods that make them overpowered, anyway. Also don't listen to my complaints about it not feeling werewolfish enough because that's nearly impossible to come by anyway if you're not playing the #1 game on this list. Go try one out. It's fun! Plus, BG2 is the best game ever made.

6. Altered Beast

What are some of Mav's favorite things? Ancient Greece, hoplites, hot men, werewolves, dragons, tigers...

When I found out Altered Beast exists and is a game wherein you play as an awesome hoplite dude and turn into a werewolf, a green dragon, a tiger-man, and ultimately a werewolf is still the most powerful of all his forms, I was ecstatic. I had to play it immediately.

I wasn't disappointed. It's a fun, unforgiving game, because it was made before video games started becoming what I think we're supposed to call accessible today. I don't know what else there is to say about the game if what I've already said hasn't convinced you to play it. The werewolf form is your first transformation, and your most powerful is a golden werewolf. Me being me, I appreciate that a werewolf form is still the best in the end instead of being outshone by other creatures, and even the other forms available are all very cool.

As I said, I really don't know what more one could ask for of this setting and gameplay. I've never been picky about genre; I play a very wide variety of video games and have plenty of fun, and I certainly had fun with this one.

(Note: I'm not going to talk about that 2005 Altered Beast remake, I like to pretend it never happened)

5. Werewolf the Apocalypse: Earthblood

I'll be the first to admit I'm far from the biggest World of Darkness fan ever, as has brought many insults my way already, but I was pleasantly surprised by the mechanics of the werewolf form in Earthblood. I will not call it the "crinos form," as that terminology is so immensely silly that I could no longer take it seriously if I did. So anyway, the gameplay actually lets you feel like a werewolf, and you even get two stances you can swap between for different combat styles instead of anchoring werewolves down to just doing one thing. I'm not going to wax on about the lore, the story, etc. - but man the werewolf mechanics really are fun. It is, of course, the main draw of the whole deal, and they didn't slouch on that element.

It's important to me that a werewolf feel powerful and also violent. Werewolves should not be cuddly, or else they are no longer werewolves. Painting hallways with the blood of my enemies as if I'm recreating the Ninja lead-up in Metal Gear Solid while in werewolf form is cathartic and a good way to give the player a sense of being a werewolf instead of just an animal-headed person. This is a very solid "play as a werewolf" game, and one of the few games that exist with the primary purpose of letting you really play as a werewolf, whether you are a predetermined character or not. Be warned, the game is notoriously janky, but if you're like me, you're enjoying the werewolf mechanics enough that you don't care - or you can be even more like me and not give a toss about "jankiness" in a game in the first place.

4. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

While a significant and crushing downgrade from the werewolves in certain other Elder Scrolls entries - more on that momentarily - at least Skyrim let you become a werewolf in the base game. No waiting for an expansion pack and no waiting forever until you move on (thanks, Oblivion). However, the differences between the mechanics of werewolves in past entries and the Skyrim werewolves are many and tragic. I confess I did not play Skyrim much, partially as a result of these exact elements, and partially because I just don't spend much time playing video games anymore, among other things.

In Skyrim, being a werewolf becomes what is colloquially called an "awesome button," letting you turn into a big, strong, cool werewolf that can eat people to extend your werewolf timer. It's great and enjoyable, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't actually feel as if you are truly cursed with lycanthropy or smelly lupus or whatever silly name Elder Scrolls gave it (yes, I know the name, but that doesn't make it less silly). You have no real disadvantages to being a werewolf, such as having to worry about when you will transform outside your own control - because you never will, which is an immense downgrade in terms of feeling werewolfish and adding appropriate challenge and downside to being a werewolf. You also don't have to worry about being forced to devour a civilized race in order to sate your accursed hunger. Instead, you're doing that on purpose to turn out of werewolf form again, because the more you eat, the longer you stay transformed. Still, the werewolves in Skyrim are good - they just don't compare to previous entries. But I certainly appreciate them and the fact that they are present in the base game.

3. The Sims 3

Trust me, they do look better in game, but I couldn't find any of my own screenshots because it's been a hot minute since I played this.

You probably think I'm trolling you, but the werewolves in The Sims have always been pretty fun; I remember when the ones in 2 first came out, I enjoyed them like crazy. The ones in 3 rocked and were easily the best variant; too bad the game is relatively difficult to get running properly, and many aspects of the werewolves are delicate and easy to glitch, including your entire Sim's werewolf form design. I am not going to talk about those abominations that were added to The Sims 4, because they are some of the worst things I have ever had the misfortune of seeing and are not werewolves by any metric.

Sims 3 changed the aspects of Sims 2 werewolves that I didn't like, such as how being a werewolf altered your sim's entire personality over time and how the werewolf form always looked the same. They made the system much more robust. Frankly, the Sims 3 werewolves are some of the better werewolves in gaming, especially for the kind of game that The Sims is (expect assorted dog jokes, for example, given it's The Sims, yet it still isn't half as bad as it could be). I also love the wolf-man design; it works much better with Sims than something bigger and more wolfish. Certainly far better than whatever the hell is in Sims 4, which again, I will try my best not to talk about.

Anyway, I absolutely recommend Sims 3 if you enjoy Sims games and werewolves and want to have some werewolf fun. I'd probably still be occasionally blowing my finite amount of time on this earth playing it if I had it properly running on my current PC.

2. The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall

Bet you didn't expect to see this one, did you? You thought I was gonna say Skyrim as #2, right? Actually, I bet you thought I was going to say that one as #1.

The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall is a game many would consider unapproachable today. I enjoyed it. Obviously, I played it for the playable werewolf, and I had fun! They work similarly to the ones in Bloodmoon, but, in my opinion, they still aren't as fantastic as the Bloodmoon ones. But the game does force you to actually live and behave as a werewolf - I love the werewolf hunter[s] mechanic - which, again... it's almost the only one of its kind other than Bloodmoon. For that, it gets #2 on this list.

And that means you know what makes #1, untouched in its glory, undimmed by time...

1. The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind - Bloodmoon

Alright. Have I ever talked about how this is the single greatest werewolf game ever made? I think I have, but let's get into it again.

I like Morrowind in the first place. I think it's hands down the best of the Elder Scrolls series and, frankly, the only one really worth dedicating much time to (forgive me). I played it when it first came out, and while I have never been the kind of person to pour hours into any ES or even any other open world game, Morrowind held my attention even as a kid - before I knew about "open world" and before it was such a buzzword - whereas other games before and after it struggled to do so or else failed entirely. Morrowind was groundbreaking for its time in many ways. And then they announced the expansion pack called Bloodmoon that would let you play as a werewolf. I was so excited I could hardly stand it, and even with my extreme werewolf pickiness, I was not disappointed. At all.

This is a game wherein the werewolves are treated as a serious threat, they are insanely rare to encounter in the wild in any capacity (I actually became a werewolf through a random encounter because I ran around on Solstheim obsessively every night rather than just becoming one through the story - it took me many nights, IRL, to encounter one), and when you do run into them, they are likely to destroy you. You are insanely, over the top powerful when you turn into a werewolf, yourself. Some would even call it stupid. I would not. You run at the speed of light and your jump turns into borderline flight. It's basically gliding. You're also preposterously powerful in general. I love it.

Most importantly of all, however, is that you are actually forced to roleplay as a werewolf. You will turn each night, and you must consume 1 victim NPC of any of the playable races. Solstheim is full of assorted enemies that will work for this, but when you go back to Vvardenfell, it can be harder to find a nightly meal while avoiding devouring any quest NPCs. Plus, you have to manage your gear before and after transformations, and you have to be sure you are never witnessed transforming. The entire system is in-depth and very awesome, making you actually feel like a cursed being that has to worry when the sun starts to set, forcing you to run far from civilization.

I cannot put into words how much I adore this game's werewolf system. Nothing compares. This is a real werewolf system, instead of "play as a wolf-person" or "hit the awesome button to become a werewolf for a little while with 0 consequences" like basically every other werewolf game out there.

So long story short, if you claim to love werewolves and want to play as one in a video game, and you haven't played Bloodmoon, then you're lying to yourself and the whole world. Shame on you.

And now for things that didn't make the list...

10. Assorted Acknowledgements

This category is for ones I don't even really have a lot to say about, but I figured I would mention them.

Terraria - You can get an item that lets you turn into a werewolf when night falls. It's pretty fun! I like the mechanics of it, plus it has a neat werewolf design, to boot. I dock serious points in this game for straight-up replacing the zombies with hordes of werewolves in hard mode, though. "Werewolf infestations" and werewolves being zombie stand-ins these days is preposterous and overdone. But I had a lot of fun running around as a werewolf and exploring, so it's absolutely top of the non-tiered list especially as far as werewolf mechanics go.

Pillars of Eternity - The "werewolf" in this game is one of several animal-person forms the druid can get, continuing the common theme in gaming of druid werewolves. The wolf is decidedly the worst of the lot, less useful even than the prey animals available. Put bluntly: they are basically terrible, and you're an idiot to ever use this form when there are so many build options available. There are also lots of other RPG options available. As in other games out there in the world. You should play those instead.

Guild Wars 2 - You cannot actually play as a werewolf in Guild Wars 2, but I figured I would mention it because lots of people do. If you want to roll one of the Norn giant race, either as a pretty giant woman who is the mommy stepping on you from some men's dreams or as the ugly tiny-headed cartoon men, you can get an ability to turn into a werewolf for like 30 seconds; it's far from exciting. And like so many werewolf abilities today, it comes with the option to also turn into other humanoid animals with different abilities. I've heard that, of them, only the cat and bear are useful, which is not a shocker as video game logic goes (game devs think wolves straight up suck at everything lol). I didn't play a Norn during my stint with Guild Wars 2 - I played a male human. He's Nolan North, so he's obviously the only choice and also why I played the game as much as I did.

The Elder Scrolls Online - This disgraceful abomination of a "game" is terrible in every way and could not have been a bigger disappointment on the promise of an "Elder Scrolls but MMORPG" concept even from the very beginning. It was never good, it only ever got worse, and I am happy to say I abandoned it long ago (I am not happy to say I was playing it in early closed beta because of the promise of werewolves - and I played it far more than I should have, so I am not coming at this from ignorance). It is a game with designs so ugly and unremarkable that you want to quit and walk through the woods just to remind yourself beauty still exists in the world. ESO clearly had no idea what direction to take itself in from the moment it dropped, and it certainly was never created with the pretense of playing like an Elder Scrolls game but being massively multiplayer. It has no sense of mood or atmosphere whatsoever and possesses writing that will make you long for the riveting tales in other low-rent, low-thought MMORPGs. You can play as a hideous weird sad werewolf model that is absurdly small (most likely smaller than the race you are playing as, which means you actually shrink when you transform) and should have been left in beta, which functions like a worse awesome button werewolf than the ones in Skyrim, because you also suck gameplay-wise especially depending on the dev's mood with the meta. It is terrible, as is everything about the game. ESO also went out of its way to completely wreck all previous Elder Scrolls werewolf lore that was actually really good. Anyway, don't play this. Your time is worth more than that, even if you don't think it is.

That covers some of the best! Requisite apologies if I didn't include your favorite.

( Free Newsletter — Patreon — Wulfgard — Werewolf Fact Masterlist — Twitter — Vampire Fact Masterlist — Amazon Author page )

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justagamerandaweeb · 3 months

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Hikikomori - Modern AU! Aizetsu x Reader

Since Tumblr is acting like a fucking twat for me not being able to post my story of here becuz it's too big, I have an AO3 account where you can read the whole thing from beginning to end.

Enjoy.

(Fyi, the chapter contains 36,895 words. If you like that, awesome. If you don't, oh well.)

#aizetsu #kny smut #demon slayer smut #wattpad #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #anime #kny x reader #aizetsu x reader #aizetsu x y/n #aizetsu x you #f!reader #modern au #extremely long post #kny fanfic #demon slayer fanfic

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phoenixcatch7 · 5 months

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Welcome to the environmental lore photo collection that took me three weeks to do! We shall see if we can fit all the photos in!

Okay! For purposes of this compilation I'll not be talking about either seasonal areas or the war! Because those are whole separate topics, and well...

We know enough. Also, I had to lighten several photos, so they might look slightly off to experienced players. It's so you can see!

So, the very first area -

Forgive the quality, this is their second compression lmao. As you can see, we start off with pretty standard Sky Kingdom architecture - blue stone with pale blue paint, topped with gold almost-spikes. There's a landing area from valley (middle left) but it's almost entirely flooded with cloud so good luck landing on it now lol. An overhead walkway (bottom left) that only appears elsewhere in the valley citadel and skate race. Unsurprising, given the proximity.

The interesting things are the campfire, the lanterns, and the broken bridge (top left, right, and bottom right respectively).

The huge campfire and the rows of lanterns speak of low light levels and temperatures. The nature of the wasteland is pollution and corruption, so it's easy to think the thick, dark cloud layer blocking out the sun is a result of that, and thus came about later in the timeline. But it seems to be early enough that ancestors made their own countermeasures to the darkness.

The broken bridge, of course, led down. It's sizable. I wonder what it looked like, before the hurricane? Perhaps they used shuttle boats like the village of dreams? Unlikely - there's no boat debris anywhere on either side, but it's an interesting thought. Either way, it tells us the hurricane wasn't always there...

^ Enter the wasteland proper, and you're met with this. Everything is half buried in sand, the water is toxic, and there's not a candle to be seen (except of course on cake days, as you will see later XD) - this will remain true for the whole realm. Under the hooked arch in the bottom pic is the sapling (clinging on for dear life, surely) and the dock leading to Enchantment.

What purpose the listing building in the centre pic does, I don't know, but if you squint under the left arch in the bottom picture, you'll see there's another one (with nothing inside). Given its placement, it could be assumed one had to pass through it to reach the main entrance. It's highly unlikely they were homes.

Similarly, all those giant broken arches could have enclosed a vast area the size of a small town (figuratively, if we consider the dream village and the aviary) - they're all pointing at each other (as best they can). Valley has proven the smaller version of these are to be walked on, so perhaps guards or manta riders could patrol on them? You do crashland enter under the only standing arch, after all.

The paths, centre right, also seem to be doing badly. Their solidity and thickness means they're not simple flagstones or paving like other areas in sky - they're heavy duty, lined with I believe to be more of that golden metal that bent instead of crumbled. They were built over unsteady ground. Whether that be the sand and toxic water they sit in now or just normal water remains to be seen.

If you look left, you'll see a distant... Factory of some kind. Middle left picture. Pipes leading in or out of it. Whatever it is, production, water purification, waste disposal, it probably doesn't work anymore. If you've played Journey (sky's predecessor), it's strongly reminiscent of an area where you build a temporary bridge connecting the broken arches so you can cross into the enormous building ahead. It's a fantastic sense of scale, to realise that this ancient civilisation ringed a significant portion of way around the base of this gargantuan mountain.

Half buried statues guard the crumbling entrance - smaller than the gigantic ones in the valley stadium, but pretty much the same otherwise lol. Given the amount of buried rubble around them and the chasm in the stone above, did something burst in... Or out? The mystery isn't solved on the inside, but at least the corridor isn't completely blocked. Sky kid (me!) for scale! It's interesting, how apart from the obviously ceremonial dramatic valley statues, these are the first things we see of anything resembling combat or even weapons. A culture which has a concept of militaristic might. They're guarding something important. (Vault, duh.)

No! Unlike what you'd think, the important thing becomes clear immediately. The collosal, toppled bell (I always wondered if they were hollow), the odd ceremonial structure it landed by (top left), those funny diamond bells (top right, top left if you squint), the studded cylinders (bottom left). The hastily stacked rubble blocking the krill's sight (bottom middle), the ripped open roof (bottom right).

It's identical to the forest elder shrine. This is a temple. Could this have been the original location of the wasteland elder shrine? The only remaining proof of a secret eighth elder, now subsumed?... A cool shaped building the architects took and ran with? We don't know. Whatever it was, it was clearly of great import. Most likely ceremonial, or for worship, or, heck, the equivalent of a podium specifically for big grand speeches. When the roof was there, it was an enormous, grand room, guarded by stern stone giants twice over and blocked by the same great doors that hide the forest glade. The ones that light up and spin and only open after meditating and meeting the elder...

There's no sign of those doors now, which is impressive. Probably where they got the stone for the krill blockade and the hiding places along the little bridge. Good thing they're gone, then, because those magic hinges seem to have run out of juice and gone dark. My theory is they were there to keep people out - a barrier between the last traces of peace and the battle torn graveyard we're about to walk into. (Another potential point in the 'prev wasteland elder location' - an ancestor would have to pass through him to enter, and the enemy on the way out.)

There's pipes now, too - I can only believe they were a later addition, given how haphazardly they coat the walls, and the industrial pollution aesthetic much more suited to the grimy, bleak wastes of today than the gilded ceremonial hall this once was.

Just off the left after the main temple area, there's a large room, ceiling also torn off. I can only describe them as pedestals, but what stood on them I don't know. My first thought when I found this place as a moth was a wardrobe/constellation/friend constellation thing, but it's??? Eh. If it were statues, they're long gone with no sign, and they're not big enough for anything mobile. This room served a function, that much is clear, but if decorative or practical I doubt we'll ever know.

^ The graveyard. This is its actual name, I believe. Fitting. The wasteland title promised us Vault, that's all this place is now good for, so that must be the vault we see looming in the background, tower reaching into the low clouds. (If you've played Journey, you're already familiar with the tower idea, so it's easy to slot the two together.)

Here you'll find, uh, krill. There's four here, the highest concentration of krill in all sky lmao. You'll find giant skeletons. You'll find sand. Toxic water. And that's kind of it.

Interesting things abound, however! There's a fleet of sunken, broken boats (middle left), a campfire now overgrown with dark plants (not shown) and a giant crab roasting campfire with a poor, beloathed by the community, crab loving spirit (middle). We can only assume he's the one who built the campfire! Thanks dude! Please have an easier relived memory! (should we call it a seance??) Now, given the guy is an elderly dude who carries a guitar and spends his time chasing crabs all across the dang map, he's probably not a warrior. Heck, with the amount of crabs, he probably arrived after the pipes. After the war, even? On the middle right pic is the weirdly undecorated entrance to the sunken ship.

Of course I looked at the skeletons and compared them! Each wasteland one had tiny scratches or notches in the spine spikes, and yes they aren't there on the other, but otherwise the size and shapes are identical! These skeletons are whales, as proven by the skeleton in forest haunted by the whale whisperer! The poor forest whale died of head injury colliding with the building, so there's every chance these guys were also used in warfare for similar reasons - maybe even specifically bred to fight the krill - but it could also have been a tragedy of mass extinction during what turned the graveyard into what it is today. :( That you can find a Rythm spirit in a skull tells us the troupe came about a LONG time after the deaths.

^ To the shipwreck! The first pic I caught during the shard event (though they landed all the way in prairie!) lol. It looks so ominous... Outside of the seasonal enchantment beauty, this is the biggest vessel in the game, and much more utilitarian. Unlike SS Enchantment, this thing was a tanker, not a home for those on board.

Featuring - the only decorated pipes in the kingdom (middle left)! Life boat deployment cranes (bottom left)! A beached lifeboat, bottom right :(. A boat still attached (feat me). More of those weird diamond bells for cargo, which proves they were a valued commodity and at least semi mass produced and shipped around the kingdom! More than the craftsman in prairie, or the tree fellers in forest, they prove a thriving, stable kingdom steadily advancing in technology and society! And the boat being pointed to the temple - incoming goods? Potentially, for Vault?

The krill decided it didn't want to be in the top pic, but I swear he's there XD... Most likely what sank the ship, tbh. It's not caught on some rock, or ledge, or ditch. In fact, the bottom is more intact than the top!... I think the krill escaped the warzone and caught the arriving ship, possibly spotting an unlucky crewmate through those big arched windows. The memory of the saluting captain walks the wreckage of his ship, sending away a loyal crew member on the second last life boat, back out to sea. Whether it's the boat dashed on the rocks or if they escaped the krill I don't know, but we know the captain didn't. Crab whisperer passes through later, so we know the light seekers are also post event.

We've reached the entrance to the vault! It's.. Smaller than it looks from a distance. Vault must be a shorter building hidden behind it, or far enough away it vanishes into the smog. Under a shard event sky, the black waters look like blood.

The first thing you see of the battlefield is the large, imposing building, now listing to one side and rimmed with stakes (cheval de freise, if you want to be fancy. Large caltrops... When your mounts and enemies can fly). There's only one spirit here, lookout (middle left). Whether it was supposed to be a temporary building (UNLIKELY) or whether they didn't build it properly and the sandy ground subsided over the aeons that have passed between then and now is up to interpretation, but at least this time the lack of roof seems intentional. I'm more annoyed it doesn't line up with the temple, I had to stand literally on the right wall to get the bottom picture and it's still slightly left!

Lighting the crystal triggers three krill to emerge from the ground and start hunting. (One time I visited some unknowing friends who triggered the gate... A krill emerged less than a metre from me with no warning... Terrifying XD.) Previously they used to spawn basically on top of the players and you had to run for your LIFE, but now they take a leisurely stroll in your direction, so you've got plenty of time to wander your way to safety. Maybe stop and get an ice cream. Boring :/. In terms of lore very fascinating and scary, given the last stand and the aurora concert both seemed focused on defending the crystal. This whole time... It was rigged. By which side, I don't know.

The shrine! ^

From the outside, a large, ominous building covered in pipes and statue towers. On the inside, an octagonal chamber many stories high. Like the rest of wasteland, what little decor there is is chockers with that hollow star shape that symbolises light, the king, all that good stuff. There's six ginormous double doors ringing the chamber, all tightly shut. My first thought was six realms, one war council. Nothing to prove or disprove that lol. It would have been a great place for diplomacy, though, without the shrine statue. Sand everywhere, probably through the gaps in the ceiling lol. Beautiful door.

Wasteland elder himself!!! His weapons are the ones arranged on his shrine - whether that means he can manifest in the world and grab them or if they're stone recreations of the ones he carries at all times, I don't know. He's never been seen in any memory or cutscene of war, so maybe he can't manifest... We know the isle elder can, in the song runaway of aurora. His space is the very same place as the Crystal outside his chamber, facing out, and he points his spear towards where the kings star would be, the crowning jewel of his tower. We can safely assume whatever his role, he was defending Vault and Eden behind it. And he succeeded.

There's so much to talk about with the vault door. Top left, the closed wasteland/vault door. Bottom left and right, the closed forest door. Centre and top right, the open vault door. You'll notice more diamond shapes and boat imagery. But in wasteland, the jewels that presumably power the great door are missing, black. The double switches, inactive. Even when activated, no line traces up and no light appears - only the outlines of the stars and speckled lights hidden on the door itself. If that's not divine intervention from the elder, I don't know what is lol.

Pass through into vault, and see its beauty untouched. But turn around, and see the mounds of golden sand blown in from Wasteland, settling in the still air. Vault acknowledges its protector.

Some final thoughts:

^ For some reason, probably that it's the only place it's not very visible, the shipwreck is the only place where the kings star is absolutely massive and has a ring. Every other place, it's normal! It's probably an old design tgc forgot to update with the rest lmao.

^ An entirely accidental realisation due to my research. Man I love environmental storytelling. Nearly every detail of the mask matches the skull! The IMAGERY.

^ My first attempt to get a good shot of wasteland instead caught a first person witness to an expert krill dodger! I didn't get to talk to them, but know you were caught being very cool in high definition!!

^ I didn't get to talk about this theory before, but every entrance and exit to the graveyard and next door shipwreck EXCEPT their connecting corridor are all huge drops in altitude. Both are the only places you find boats. Both are sodden with black water. The ground is uneven. There's whale skeletons. My theory is that these areas were once entirely submerged! Water areas! Shipping and naval battles and cargo! Abyss proves krill can survive perfectly under water - and all emerging krill do so from water!! It'd explain the sand and the debris and the beached boats and all!

Elder shrines do like their slitted roofs. This is prairie. 'S why I wasn't theorising about the sand in wasteland lol. Gotta get the dramatic shafts of light from somewhere!

The open door and two beautifully poised strangers - well done on completing wasteland! I hope you enjoy vault!!

Pipe theory: these things pop up at the entrance to wasteland and follow you all the way through to the shrine, disappear in vault, and then reappear. They go all the way to the point of no return in eden!!! They're either taking something up, or, considering the amount of pipes that open into black water areas, the general gravity situation of vertical pipes... It's likely they were siphoning something away. Sewer pipes, but evil. Maybe trying to wash away whatever corruption happened to the Eye? It didn't work... Poisoned the waters instead. Maybe they carried water up to the Eye like a kingdom sized cooling system and that drained the waters??

And the photo that started this whole thing, the day I climbed the wasteland temple...

that's not smog. That is a wall. That is the biggest wall I have EVER seen.

Do you see the line under the clouds? The sky box? The 'horizon'?

YOU'RE ALREADY LOOKING AT VAULT.

TGC YOU MOTHERS OF DUCKS.

#LONG POST #VERY LONG POST #Realising the true size of vault from the outside I think messed up my brain #It's like an ant seeing a circuit board #Like yeah. Vault is huge. It's got to be. It's like a pocket dimension of indigo magic. Vault barely follows the laws of physics.#It's a world unto itself.#But to realise all of vault fits in one building of brick and stone.... It's insane. It's a mind boggling feat of engineering and magic #It's just insane.#Thank you for making it this far LMAO I hope the pretty pictures kept you entertained #extremely long post #Do you love the colour of wasteland?#But now I feel settled lmao that's been bugging me for months #sky children of the light #sky cotl #sky oc #sky photography #thatgamecompany #thatskygame #that sky game #skykid #that game sky #Tgc #s: cotl #Scotl #sky cotl screenshots #sky cotl photography #sky kid #skyblr #sky cotl lore #environmental storytelling

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transmascpetewentz · 5 months

Text

A Short Guide To Writing Gay Trans Men

So a few disclaimers before I start:

I'm not going to talk about anything sex-related here because 1) people have made other guides and google is your friend & 2) I'm not very comfortable with it.

I am just one person, and due to the fact that I am white and thin and perisex, I will definitely have blind spots. If you want more information about intersections that don't apply to me, ask someone who it does apply to!

I did get lots of messages from trans guys giving me advice on this, but nonetheless I do not speak for absolutely everyone.

There will be very little info here on how to accurately write medical transitions because that's not something I've experienced. Google is your best friend on this one.

This is not a complete post. I will keep adding to it as time goes on. If you're seeing this post reblogged by someone else, click on the original to see if I've made any additions or corrections before you send me that anon hate and/or comment telling me to kill myself.

What Not To Do

When there is a trans male character written by a cis person, especially a cis man, there's a very solid chance that he is going to check off at least 9 of the following boxes:

Thin

White

Able-bodied

Neurotypical or LSN neurodivergent

Binary

No nuance given to his identity and expression

Sexuality not specified or elaborated on

A cis person's love interest

2 dimensional transmasc stereotype

Usually small and feminine, but not actually femme

Gay transmasc characters written by cis people are very difficult to find because cis authors will often not specify the sexuality of the trans man dating a cis man or elaborate on his connection to the MLM community. This is because many cis authors believe that writing a gay trans man is just writing a woman but switching one of the genders. This is, of course, not true, and there must be more care taken to provide nuance and create a more accurate (and non-dysphoria-inducing) representation.

Moving Past The White Twink Stereotype

This is one of the most basic bars to clear for a cis person writing a gay trans man, and yet so many continue to fail at this very simple task. Ask yourself: is your gay transmasc character a white, hairless, thin person? If the answer is yes, that's not inherently a bad thing, though it may be good to reflect on why you want to create a character like this if this is the only type of transmasc representation you write.

The biggest thing you need to do here is to give him a set of defining traits. Not physical traits, not even gender expression traits. Just personality. What kind of person is he? How does he cope with the transphobia in this world (unless you're writing a fantasy universe without transphobia)? How does he act towards strangers? How does he approach people of different genders? What is his outlook on cis people? Once you have the basics, it's time to think about his physical appearance & expression and how that has impacted his life and his personality.

You also want to avoid the trope where a gay trans man's personality is undeveloped and he is treated as an object for cis men to help them advance their character arcs. It's fine for trans men to serve a purpose like that in the story, but they need to be their own individual humans.

Writing Sexuality

If your trans male characters date men, and I cannot reiterate this enough, make them be open about their homosexuality or bisexuality. Give them a sexual orientation and make them be proud of it. Of course, not every gay trans man is going to identify heavily with a masc/fem role in gay male relationships, but you should seriously consider whether or not your character would.

Additionally, don't follow the flawed line of logic of "trans man -> vagina -> bottom -> fem/femme." It's fine to make your gay trans male characters fem but please, I swear to god please give them a good reason for being so. If you do make your character femme, be very cautious to use language that doesn't trigger actual trans men's dysphoria. Don't constantly point out the character's physical features that may be associated with femininity unless you're making a point either about his dysphoria or about how society treats him or maybe about how he comes to accept his body. However, please be extremely careful with the last one as this trope has been used in so many transphobic portrayals.

Have your gay trans male character exist in gay spaces with other gay men (both cis and trans). Have him be open about being a gay man specifically. Give him cis gay male friends. Give him trans gay male friends. Don't allow your reader to ignore the fact that he is very much a gay man.

Dysphoria

For the love of all things good, please do not write your gay trans male character's dysphoria as "from the day I was born, I knew I was born in the wrong body. I have had no internalized shame or guilting into making me doubt my transness, and it was obvious that I was not a woman." That's not how anyone's dysphoria works, even if they did know from a young age that they were born in the wrong body.

For gay trans men specifically, most of us end up realizing we're trans around either age 12 or age 20. This doesn't mean he has to be exactly that age, but that's generally the safest age to have your character's egg crack. Of course, you can sprinkle in signs that he's trans since he was a young child, but I know a lot of gay trans men and I have yet to meet one who has known since birth and has had no doubt in his mind about it. However you can and should write older gay trans men, even some who find out they're trans in their 40s or older. Representation of older trans people is seriously lacking compared to how many there are.

Don't make your character the stereotype of a straight trans man who doesn't face the specific intersection of being trans and gay. Facing this intersection does affect something even as personal as dysphoria. Many of us will have self-doubt, believe that we're disgusting fetishists of gay men, or simply exist as women in gay spaces for a time. You also have to take into account gay beauty standards & your character's upbringing to figure out what they're likely to be most dysphoric about.

hi :3

That's it for now. I'll keep adding to this post as I get feedback and suggestions. If you want more advice, feel free to send me an ask. When I get enough asks about things, I'll make an FAQ post answering some of them.

#wentz.txt #transmasc #writeblr #long post #extremely long post

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bruneburg · 1 year

Photo

Is tumblr doing this here a sufficient excuse for me to post this many wizards at once? I think it might be.

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asp1diske-art · 2 years

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Lurien, Dreamer.

(Script and bonus doodle under cut)

# 1

Familiar scenery, familiar halllways. Is this a dream within a dream? Or an extension of the dream realm? Or perhaps simply a nightmare.

# 2

This is not the White Palace of old. The screech of metal, twisted corridors. One misstep, and you are thrown from the palace as if waking from a dream. But the road always leads back.

# 3

Tirelessly, you wander the maze-like hallways again and again. For you are certain, that at the very end -

# 4

…The King I revered tamed the savagery of bug and beast with His light and gave us enlightenment. Thus Hallownest was born.

"…."

And the day he abandoned Hallownest, the Pale King I followed died.

# 5

But to think that the one who killed him fled only to end up like this. You deny me even the scant comfort of resentment. Why- -Ah.

# 6

…Was that the world you dreamed of? After all the sacrifices, all you wished for was...

# 7

Ah, but all that is left here is your shell. “You discarded that dream as well.”

# 8

I dreamed once. Of an eternal kingdom. It was a dream that you gave me.

Was it an impossible dream from the start? Was that why you fled?

But as a Dreamer I have not yet woken from my dream.

# 10

Farewell.

For my King, for bug, for Hallownest,

I go to watch over the end of the world you abandoned.

(+) doodle based on void lurien headcanon

"This is…."

Was there a place for me

in the world you dreamed of.

“ … A useless thought."

#hollow knight #lurien #lurien the watcher #The Pale King #my art #long post #extremely long post #comic

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cinamun · 11 months

Text

The Dream

Now that the evening reblogs are out of the way, I promised @citylighten a little bit of a deep dive into Hope's Dream, why I triggered it, why I was apprehensive about it (sprinkled with a little writer's insecurity) and what I was hoping to accomplish;

Shall we?

TLDR; the dream symbolized Elliot's hopes for the future and Hope's way of saving Elliot.

I posted the reminder to filter your tags last night because I would be depicted a deceased body which of course is a trigger (fun fact: the reason there was never any blood is because it was already emotionally charged and sometimes that's worse than blood and gore, plus blood nauseates me). We are literally still in the first day home after a two week hospital stay and Hope is coming back into a very harsh reality. What I am attempting to do is unroll that reality as realistically as I think I can.

Don't mean to get mushy on main, but I was apprehensive about that post. Insecure about it even. My reasoning is, its not an easy subject to tackle and when you're writing something visual it has even more of an impact. Honestly, sometimes I think I take things too far. But the way my brain works, it *had* to be a nightmare and it *had* to be vivid. So the apprehension was like "Damn Cin, maybe that was *too* much". But I posted anyway because I believed in it. Believe it or not, that post came together over the course of the night last night with a ton of ice water, some turkey jerkey and a dope ass playlist... I digress

I figured that the wedding attire and location may throw people off and it did. The preset I used was super white with a dark sky (silent hill preset). It had to look like a dream. White symbolizes innocence and purity in western society. Hope's subconscious mind was showing her what Elliot wanted. Them to be married. It should have been him. They have the history. In the dream he's squeezing her hand, he's afraid. He's quite literally dead. He asks what happened as if he doesn't understand. So she's stuck with telling him, in all white, walking down the aisle. And then the next thing we know he's limp on the ground. Another angle is Hope's subconscious mind showing her what would have saved him; them staying together and marrying.

So this is super long already but I wanted to at least give some background as to where I was going there. I understand that some have had to back away from the story for awhile and I support that wholeheartedly (folks unfollowed and blocked me when Darren was abusive toward Indya, even more did after she married him because to some, abusers can't change). Up until last week it was a beautiful story of a beautiful romance, a beautiful wedding and a beautiful honeymoon and then the whiplash upon return was a lot to handle.

I get it.

FUCK its getting longer! It will be dark until it gets light and I don't have a timeline on that at the moment. Thanks for reading this far.

#story stuff #extremely long post #sorry #into the mind of a mad woman

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albentelisa · 8 months

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Hi! So what do you think would happen if Jlaire switched roles? And by that, I mean, what if Jim was born as Ophelia and Javier son while Claire was born as Barabra daughter? Their personality can be the same as canon, though.

Oh, I adore what if asks! It gives a lot of thought.

Let's start with Jim. I feel he'll be closer to Javier, who will be more lenient when it comes to breaking rules. Ophelia is a strict and demanding mother, not to mention a workaholic, however, I believe that Jim will be taking care of her lunches much like he does for Barbara. However, unlike the canon, Jim won't be the only one responsible for chores and cooking in this kind of AU. I feel they will split the responsibilities with Javier 50/50. I also feel that Jim will 100 % percent baking cookies for Ophelia's charity events (and he'll enjoy that, unlike some other activities!)

I feel that Jim will be a responsible brother to Enrique and will be as devastated as Claire in canon when his brother is kidnapped.

Jim will still like Vespas, but even though his family will be able to afford it, Ophelia will be against it as 'it is dangerous and will create a negative image'. Javier will try to convince her though.

Unlike Claire, Jim isn't a fast learner, but with enough effort, he can keep up with all his studies while getting good marks. He isn't as busy with chores here and unlike Claire, he has no theatre to care about, so... We all know that it won't last forever, though.

Obviously, we won't get bad!Spanish Jim here, but imagine this - Jim switching to Español each time he's over-emotional (nervous, scared, or angry).

And unfortunately, Jim will have no reason to see Strickler as a father figure. He will still respect him a lot and Walter will be his favorite teacher though.

And now to Claire. She'll obviously have a wonderful relationship with Barbara and absolutely despise her absent father. She'll get way more freedom here as Barbara will never limit her daughter when it comes to hobbies or fashion preferences.

Claire doesn't seem like a cooking person. She won't be as bad in it as Barbara, but still way below to be called a good cook. Those two will survive on takeaways (well, at least until Jim and Strickler interfere).

Claire will try to make things easier for Barbara, but she'll pick a different approach. That will be good studies (to be able to get a grant in college) and picking up some part-time jobs (one of which will be babysitting Enrique).

Claire is still a true theatre lover, but she's free to participate.

And here Claire is the one who's closer to Strickler. Not to the same extent as canon Jim as I feel it takes more time for her to open to people (and somehow I can imagine in this specific AU Claire might have some bad experience with one of past Barbara's boyfriends, not to mention her absentee dad, so she is suspicious towards any adult man at the start.) Still she likes Strickler enough to root for her mom dating him and thinking he could be a good father for her (well, until the reveal).

So what about Toby then? In this AU, he is living next door to Claire, so he's best friends with her since kindergarten. However, in elementary Toby also befriends Jim, quickly becoming best friends with him too. Jim and Claire meet through Toby here, and by the beginning of the canon events, those three have been best friends for some years.

Mary and Darci? Claire befriends them after joining the school theatre. At the beginning of the canon events, those two groups of Claire's friends are rather awkward with each other, but later they become way closer.

Jlaire will have a bit different dynamics here. Jim has had a crush on Claire since the very first meeting but has no courage to confess (because if she turns him down, it'll be really awkward in their friend group, and Jim also cherishes Claire as a friend). On the other hand, Claire has considered Jim a good friend only for years and only started to get some romantic feelings towards him recently (let's throw in some friends-to-lovers while we can). Those make her conflicted as she isn't sure how Jim feels and if her confession may ruin everything. Toby knows about Jim's crush and suspects Claire's (even though she denied it when he asked her).

I have two scenarios of how the canon will play.

The first one is where the role switch is complete (Claire is the Trollhunter, while Jim gets shadow staff eventually). In this one, Toby and Claire get a shortcut through the canals because Claire has overslept after forgetting to set her alarm. Claire finds the amulet.

Meanwhile, after countless encouragement words from both Strickler and Toby, Jim decides to go to the tryouts (even if Ophelia calls it a bad idea). Here he actually learns words for Romeo's role as he knows that Claire will be Juliet for sure. Jim believes it'll give him a chance to confess properly. He gets the role with ease (he's motivated!).

Claire gets a visit from trolls, but unlike Jim, she tells no one. There's no attempt to talk with Strickler, neither she shares it with her friends (as she believes it's her problem only). Nevertheless, both Toby and Jim feel something is fishy and barge in, demanding answers right when Blinky and Aaarrrgghh come for the second time. So they both become members of the team right away.

Claire gets more time without enemies knowing as Strickler has no chance to learn about her new role. Still, the amulet acts up some days later, summoning the armor - and Strickler, who has been racking his brains for some days, trying to think who is a new Trollhunter gets a major surprise.

Another difference will be the reason for Claire's initial reluctance to take up her role. Unlike Jim, who hasn't been in fights, Claire believes that she cannot be the best for the role (and she hates to half-ass stuff).

Draal will still move to the Lake's household and Claire will also use grit-shaka, getting some of huge embarrassement moments (including forcefully kissing Jim). She won't remember it afterward, and poor Jim is never sure what that meant (like it could be only because of grit-shaka).

Enrique's kidnapping is a low blow for both Jim (who fails as his brother) and Claire (who is a regular babysitter and is supposed to be a protector). Not to mention that in this AU the kidnapping itself will happen when Jim and Claire visit Papa Skull concert together (initially, Toby was supposed to go too, but he suddenly 'remembers about an important task'). Obviously, the outcome will make both question if there can be any romance in their situation.

Mary and Darci join a team as they accidentally discover Not!Enrique identity when Jim's parents employ Mary as a babysitter (as at that point, their opinion of Claire has reached some new lows).

Eventually, Jim will get a shadow stuff and as there's more than enough negativity in his life, including growing rift with his parents as his night activities influence his performance at school and his parents are not big fans of Claire who is more punk in this AU. Besides, at some point Jim is on a verge of going to the Darklands alone, but is caught. That is one of the triggers that forces Claire to go there alone herself.

The second scenario is closer to canon where, despite living in a different house, Jim is still the Trollhunter. Here he founds the amulet when he goes to meet with Toby and Claire to go to school together. So both his friends learn about the amulet. After Blinky and Aaarrrgghh visit, Jim isn't able to contact Toby, but he tells Claire about it (remember, in this setting he isn't that close to Strickler).

In this scenario Jim will have way more trouble sneaking out than in the canon, not to mention slipping studies. But either than that I think the differences will be pretty minor.

And a bonus scenario, which I throw in, because it's the only way to keep Jim's relationship with Strickler and make it even closer. It involves Jim being a changeling implanted in Nunez household, with Strickler being his mentor and kind of a father figure. Claire is the Trollhunter in this one, meaning some Romeo & Juliet parallels. Jim learns about the amulet before Strickler, but keeps silent because he genuinely loves Claire (and he is young and not as jaded as other changelings, so betraying the Order comes easy to him). Strickler learns about his protegee's betrayal and exposes Jim after being exposed himself. Claire is angry and refuses to talk to Jim. I think Jim is able to clear his name only after coming to Claire's help during the battle of two bridges.

#phew #that's taken some time to write #what if scenario #tales of arcadia #toa fanfic #toa au #role swap au #jim lake jr #claire nunez #barbara lake #toby domzalski #walter strickler #ask box #extremely long post #text post #anon ask

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supanuts · 3 months

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You asked for insane meta about Way so brace yourself! This thesis is going to be a full-throated defence of the world’s most problematic loser (defence of his character, not his actions mind you). TBH I can’t believe I’m going to write an essay about a show which is at best nonsensical and at worst built around a premise I find both cringeworthy and inherently offensive, but what can I say – I’m a sucker for well-acted foils with sad eyes and complex characterisation!

In the aftermath of ep 9, I’ve become increasingly frustrated at the number of takes which firmly centre the assault (and the mind-influencing) in terms of Way’s supposed feelings of possession/jealously/entitlement towards Babe, without taking into consideration his identity as a victim of lifelong grooming and abuse, as well as the particulars of their specific situation. Before I go any further, I just want to issue a disclaimer (cos I know ppl will come for me) that a) I’ve not read the book and quite frankly would not go near it with a ten foot pole, so everything that follows is based on show canon alone (and anything in the book which might contradict me is therefore irrelevant!), and b) trying to contextualise someone’s behaviour is in no way the same thing as trying to apologise for or justify it – it’s about attempting to understand why someone felt compelled to act the way they did, which yes in real life is virtually always because of toxic masculinity/misogyny/male entitlement, but we all know this show is (thankfully) not based in the real world!

Unlike with other characters, we haven’t seen flashbacks of Way’s time at Tony’s so we don’t know as much about his experience. But there are some observations which seem fairly obvious and others which are reasonable inferences: we know he lived on the streets (so in all likelihood didn’t come from a loving, stable family environment), we know he takes anti-anxiety medication, we know he’s terrified of Tony, who has emotionally and physically abused him (just look at his entire demeanour in that one scene – no way that’s the first time Tony’s laid hands on him), and that everything he has (including the clothes on his back) actually belongs to Tony, who wouldn’t hesitate to take it all away in the blink of an eye. We know he was groomed to (ugh) impregnate Babe, and we know his power is very strong (and yet he’s presumably never used it to escape Tony which is further evidence of the effect of the grooming/abuse). It’s also likely that, until he met Babe, he hadn’t known much in the way of physical affection, not just because of the horrible environment he grew up in, but because it seems likely that anyone aware of his powers would be wary about getting too close (literally).

So bearing all that in mind, we have this messed up, emotionally stunted, not quite an adult who is sent out into the world with one purpose: to knock up Babe. And then he meets this person, who looks like Pavel, and whose ignorance means he thinks nothing of slinging an arm around Way’s shoulder, of hugging him, touching him – of course he falls in love! But he’s on a mission, remember. And if he fails, he can expect more denigration, more violence. So he thinks to himself, it’s fine – maybe he’ll fall for me too and then we can have beautiful little babies and Tony will be satisfied and leave us alone and everyone will live happily ever after (apart from the aforementioned beautiful little babies who will be trafficked but hey, you can’t have everything!). So time passes, and Babe is flirty but nothing more, and all the while Tony is there in the background, threatening, manipulating. And as the years go by, Way becomes more and more anxious, more and more desperate (ten years! Ten years he's been living this terrible double life!), because he knows that if he fails it will mean nothing but pain, not just for him but for Babe as well – better he gets Babe to love him back than having to let Tony do it his way.

And so let’s put the mind-screwing of Babe into that context: as I said, Way’s power is supposedly very strong, and yet (up until the last ep) when we’ve seen him use it on Babe it’s usually been more of a subtle influencing than an outright compulsion, and even then it’s one that apparently wears off almost the second Babe leaves his side! Way: ‘Oh Babe, you should totally dump Charlie, no good will come of it.’ Babe: ‘Totally, yes, you’re absolutely spot-on – I’ll get right on it!’ [Five minutes later, after Charlie has googly-eyed his way back into Babe’s orbit] ‘Eh, all is forgotten – let’s fuck!’ So forgive me for finding it hard to believe that Babe’s commitment issues have all these years been single-handedly engineered by Way. Do we really think Babe escaped Tony without any baggage, any trust issues of his own?? That he was totally open to and ready for unconditional love and a healthy relationship if only evil Way hadn’t interfered?? And have we forgotten the part where Way said ‘haven’t YOU always told ME not to tie my life to anyone else?’ (emphasis mine)? When Way says there’s no-one else who’s truly loved them, do we honestly think that’s manipulation and not just something he genuinely believes himself?? This is not a well-adjusted man, people!

But even if we disregard all that, remember the context! If Babe finds love elsewhere, what do you (or more importantly, what does Way) think Tony will do? Shrug and let Babe skip off into the sunset hand in hand with his new beau? If you put his isolating of Babe into that context then imo it looks very different – it’s not a jealous creep ensuring his target stays by his side, but a scared, conflicted pawn trying to buy them more time, stave off the awful inevitable. I might not agree with him, but I do think in Way’s eyes he’s PROTECTING Babe. Like I said earlier, Tony is still controlling everything; he’s ALLOWING Way this semblance of freedom, of doing it on his own terms, but only on the condition that Way fulfils his end of the bargain, and if he can’t, well Tony will just get it done himself, and you can guarantee it won’t be pretty. (Now I’m not saying Way’s feelings for Babe don’t also play a part, but hey guess what, humans are complex, multi-faceted beings who sometimes are not even aware themselves of their own motivations!)

Nowhere is that more obvious than in the assault scene itself. This isn’t a guy just trying to get laid, get what’s ‘rightfully his’ - this is someone falling apart, someone driven by desperation, who sincerely believes this abhorrent act is the best – the only – way forward (again, before the pitchforks appear: not saying that excuses/justifies his action – nothing does). Notice that after Babe revives, Way doesn’t try and compel him again, even though there’s ample physical contact tween them – he’s only interested in trying to make Babe understand. And notice he hasn’t tried to compel Babe in this way before – it’s only after his true identity has been revealed and he knows there’s no going back that he falls back on this despairing, horrific last resort. (And there's one thing I’m really curious about - Way’s just found out that Tony lied about him being the only enigma left, that Pete’s one too, and that Pete (who is evidently powerful himself) wants to take Tony down. So consider this: had Way’s secret not been revealed, do we think this revelation would have been the tipping point that let him envision another way out? One in which he doesn’t have to (further) betray Babe, but instead helps him defeat Tony and opens up the possibility of a future where they’re all truly free to choose their own destiny? Regardless of his feelings for Babe, you can’t tell me he seriously wanted things to go down the way they did.)

Okay, the end is now in sight, but just in case I haven’t pissed people off enough, here’s the part where I lay into Babe! Not about the assault, obviously. Would hope it doesn’t need to be said that he is in no way whatsoever responsible for that. No, my issue with Babe is the glaring discrepancy tween his words and actions when it comes to his friendship with Way. Time and time again he says that Way’s his closest, bestest friend, the only one he trusts, yada yada. And yet his actions never back that up. From what we see of their relationship, this unwavering loyalty and intimacy only seems goes one way – Way worships Babe, knows everything about him, and Babe is content to sit back and soak up all that adulation. It’s why he never addresses Way’s feelings for him - he doesn’t want to jeopardise their set-up. Yes, obviously it’s in Way’s own interest not to share with/confide in Babe because of what he’s hiding, but at no point do we see Babe actually express any real interest in Way as an individual, in his (lack of) ambition, his (lack of) relationships. E.g. in the conversation where Babe makes a comment about Way’s boy getting jealous and Way laughs it off saying he doesn’t have anyone and Babe knows that – Babe’s not actually concerned, he’s not actually interested, he’s not really even thinking about Way as he says it - he probably doesn’t even hear Way’s response! He’s preoccupied by his own relationship woes. Think about it, Way is only really able to maintain his secret identity because Babe is, to be blunt, not at all interested in his life! Let’s face it, nobody on this show is exactly great at stealth so there's no way Way (hah) would've been able to keep it up for ten years if Babe had ever actually tried to learn more about him. He doesn’t know Way takes anti-anxiety meds, he doesn’t wonder about Way’s lack of friends or lovers or family, he asks once about Way being content losing to him then accepts his answer and never thinks about it again. I genuinely think Way more or less stops existing to Babe the second he leaves his sight (unless they’re fighting but that’s only because it’s an inconvenience!). Sorry to say it, but Babe is just self-centred! I mean, look at the way his professionalism took a flying jump when Charlie entered the picture - he didn’t think about Dean, he didn’t think about how his blatant favouritism would affect the team dynamic or performance (yeah Way was totally right about that!) – he just thought about himself. He drops Way, his supposed closest, bestest friend, like a hot potato the second Charlie shows up, he cries on his shoulder when they break-up and then stands him up the second a reconciliation is in sight. And he never really apologises for anything – he just bats his eyelashes, gets a bit handsy, and wheedles his way back into Way’s good books because he knows he can. Because he knows Way can’t say no to him, can’t stay mad at him. Ignoring the unrequited love, the mind wipes, and the general batshit insanity of the plot for a second: Babe is just a shitty friend, there's no two ways about it!

TBC... (1/2)

LISTEN there's no real way to measure how good/bad something is, the only thing that actually matters is if you enjoy the thing or not; i've watched and am watching objectively better shows that don't mean a tenth of what this one means to me, so listen to your heart, anon. also here, take this. you deserve it:

that being said! thank you so much for putting this so eloquently because honestly pretty much SAME, and i could never lmao but i'm going to try to reply to this slowly so i can hopefully make sense of my thoughts/put them in order a bit. apologies in advance bc this will take me A While. (i really mean it when i say thank you so so much for this, i gasped when i saw the beginning of the ask and then the (1/2) at the bottom???? ANYWAY PEOPLE IF YOU'RE READING THIS 👆 which you totally should, because it's wonderful, enjoy! it will be very worth your time.)

psa: just like anon i am basing all my readings and theories solely on my observations of the show, since i haven't read the novel and i am considering it its own story separate from this anyway. please do not take this as any kind of invitation for novel spoilers. thank you. i will read it eventually. unless i lose interest before that happens, in which case i won't.

another psa i guess re: contextualisation of a character's behaviour and actions =/= justifying or excusing them. absolutely! i do not defend way's actions although i do defend way as a character; i would love to pry him open like an old clock and learn how those pretty gears of his make him work, for what is worth. but also we're talking about a fictional character and his fictional actions, please don't forget that. (not directed specifically at anon) (yeah fiction does have an impact in the real world but we should be engaging with it as discerning adults, so. yk.)

also one last thing (truly) before i get to the actual reply, because this will be relevant later so i'd rather make a blanket statement now: as the audience we're drawing our interpretations on things that may very well be a product of different acting abilities, storytelling, a weird script, etc. more than deliberate narrative or interpretative choices. sometimes roses don't mean a thing! such is life, but whatever the reason all this is still in the final piece, so we're pretending they do.

ok, let's go.

yeahh you can really tell how different people's readings of characters/situations are just from this, i've been reading some truly (to me) wild things especially since last ep aired. by which i mean that i simply don’t see how anyone gets to that reading. and of course that's normal, ymmv, and none of us might be correct at all; tbf we could even argue that there isn’t a correct way to interpret anything. after all everyone perceives life through the lens of their lived experiences etc. so let’s have fun with the meta. but back to way: even ignoring the fact that my understanding of his character and motivations seems to be completely different to some people's, i'd say generally i'm just more interested in understanding the why and the how more than caring about any kind of morals. this doesn't mean i don't dislike characters, only that it’s mostly just because (as an example: i don't like top from dff not because of what we saw in the last ep, but because he annoys me so much. on the other hand i like fluke, because he is. certainly something. still want him to die though.) it doesn't have to be related to how i’d see them as a person, if that explains it better; i’m not saying they’re fictional and therefore we shouldn’t care that much either or i wouldn’t be on tumblr in the first place. also i am currently writing about my blorbo so that would make me a liar lol i guess what i wanted to say with all this is that even if i agreed with those interpretations, that wouldn't necessarily make me not like way because this just doesn’t factor into me liking or disliking a character. also i don’t judge people and characters them the same way, and i don’t choose to like or dislike a character/piece of media independently of how objectively or morally good or not it is. i enjoy seeing how characters work and what they do, i just don’t assign any moral value to what they do idk. also it’s the blorbo that chooses the tumblr user, not the other way around. tangent over, hopefully lol

that’s something i absolutely need: way backstory. please. tbh i’m not sure how literally we should take the thing about being homeless (did he literally live in the streets or did tony mean that he didn’t have anything/a family and he would be completely alone without him?) but for the sake of drama i’m rolling with it. there’s a more obvious reason tony takes them in as kids other than they’re more easily manipulable, which is their malleability. if there’s something everyone knows about abusers is how much easier it is for them to control their victim(s) by isolating them from their families and loved ones, and the kids mostly arrived to tony already like that. they are completely at his mercy, and either through (the illusion of) love or fear, it is so easy for tony to control the children even into adulthood. also we’ve seen how he treats each one differently and i assume way is so love starved because of how he’s been treated his whole life, and while on some level i get keeping a tighter leash on him because he’s so special/necessary, specially being the only one left, and he may have turned out a completely different person/been less afraid and dependant if he wasn’t abused… holy shit. even when tony cups way’s face in his hand in jeff’s flashback as a sign of affection and encouragement, way doesn’t look anything other than terrified. so yeah, personally i have no doubt that tony’s been ruthless with him. as i said in a different post i think way is completely hopeless; to me he sees tony as someone all powerful, which adds to why he is still under his control even if way is, that we know as of now, more powerful than him and could technically use his powers to escape. also i think his powers work more as a strong suggestion, but i’ll circle back to this later when it’s relevant again, sorry lol

kinda tangentially: i would love to know if any of tony’s grown kids that he didn’t sell (yet?) love him in some way? either the ones we know or some others we don’t, because loving your abuser is not something you can control, and the father/child dynamic makes it extra complicated imo. i don’t believe tony capable of consistently treating anyone well for a second, but i do wonder if some of them were… luckier.

OOOH THE PHYSICAL AFFECTION. can you believe me, certified way expert (self-diagnosed), hadn't even thought about that? i’m not naturally a touchy person except with animals for some reason, think… pretty much way with everyone else that isn’t babe lol, and maybe because of that i tend to notice touches a lot (bet no one could have guessed that from my gifs) so i noticed how stiff way is sometimes around everyone else, even with alan which seems to be the one he’s closest to after babe, when he’s so touchy with babe. and yet it didn’t occur to me even though jeff has explained before having to go through something similar because of his powers smh but yes that makes total sense! their physicality is one thing i love about their friendship, just because i love seeing people being like that, i think it’s sweet.

see this is something i find interesting regarding people’s reactions to both charlie and way, because charlie also approached babe under false pretenses while still under tony’s thumb. he lied to babe, and yes he may have had a completely different agenda to begin with, but ultimately both charlie and way approached babe with a goal, fell in love, and are trying to protect him each in their own way. only charlie is hopeful and less broken, and at the core of way there’s mostly despair, but both of them are doing what they think is their best to protect babe: charlie thinks they can escape tony so he tries to do that, and way believes none of them can so he thinks at least being together will make things more bearable. (i don’t think he’s thought a lot about the babies for some reason, maybe because i imagine myself in his position and think about how horrifying it would be to even ponder about.) i’m not saying we should condemn charlie, but i don’t understand the double standard. and not to turn this into the omegaverse oppression olympics, but it’s pretty clear already for the very little we’ve seen of way with tony that charlie has a way less brutal past with him than way does, so it’s no wonder to me that he’s still optimistic. not to mention that judging by age alone charlie has been in the family for a lot less time. AND not to mention comparing him to babe. worlds apart.

see?

literally!!! honestly i think way’s powers work more as a strong suggestion than anything else, which still doesn’t make them useless by any means but it’s not the same influencing someone than changing his mind, which is why he kept mind-controlling babe as his relationship with charlie progressed and he grew more desperate, because he had to kept going back every time babe thought through what he was feeling. imo he’s just putting an idea in the person’s mind not changing their whole psyche, so unless they accept it (babe believing his words because he’s someone he trusts) they can fight it off (both babe and charlie right after the SA attempt scene).

ALSO YES ABSOLUTELY this is what i think about the most. everyone in that family is emotionally stunted and understandably so, but with this we get to the crux of way and babe’s relationship imo. (and again this is my interpretation according to what we’ve been told/shown so far, if it turns out to be something different nevermind, etc.) they met each other 10 years ago when both of them were alone and hurt (babe because he’d found out the truth, way because *waves around at everything*), they became friends, they became each other’s support, they became best friends!! and yes they had a father uncle figure of sorts they could rely on in alan and they had the rest of the team, but they became completely dependent on each other. their whole relationship seems to have been based around the ethos that no one else understands them like each other (which is funny considering how true that was for way even if babe had no idea, and in a way is no wonder he fell in love when babe didn’t) which kinda trapped them in a feedback loop. of course babe thought exactly like that 10 years ago are you kidding me? the commitment issues were the least of his concerns. they kept telling both themselves and each other that as long as babe had way and way had babe they didn’t need anyone else, but while way was waiting for babe to look at him and notice that they could be together romantically babe was slowly but surely healing and moving on from under the shadow of the chen family. something that way can’t do. and then charlie came along, and he didn’t have the pheromone which meant babe could enjoy their time together, and babe was finally ready to trust someone enough to fall in love, only that someone wasn’t way.

most importantly, it’s not only that things will go badly for both of them (which. is already enough lol) after this, but that way wants for things to stay the same. up until charlie showed up babe legitimately only cared about racing, the team, and way. even if way hadn’t been in love with babe, i think it’s perfectly understandable that he would have felt left behind, even with babe still spending many hours with him, just because they used to be together all the time. even alan said so.

and of course to make matters worse there’s the whole thing of the inescapable horrors of tony’s plan and all that, so really, no wonder way has been getting so desperate. also (and i can’t believe i’m using exactly the same defense i was using for CHARLIE at the beginning of the series) i do believe way has been sincere in that he believes what he says and he believes he is doing the best he can for babe. does not mean it actually is the best or good at all but it’s what he truly believes, and that’s what’s important.

the assault scene was so hard to watch, and not to diminish babe’s pain in the least but you could really tell what way was going through and how much it hurt him to do what he was doing, because indeed, way hasn’t done anything like this before. if he was that bad he could have done it 10 years ago and be done with it, but he didn’t. (again i’ll get back to this later because i have more to say about the type of mind-control.) it’s only when he’s been found out and he sees no way forward when he does what surely tony would want him and probably has told him to do. and still he’s so devastated over it, you can see his desperation the whole time and like you said, he has more than ample opportunity to get babe back under his control but as soon as charlie stops him he doesn’t continue. it still doesn’t excuse that he made even the attempt, but i firmly believe that he was as glad as i was when charlie showed up.

about pete, even if it’s just because it’s what makes sense to me narratively with the whole enigma parallel, i think this knowledge has to change something in way. at some point he has to realise that he's just trying to delude himself by believing tony's lies, and i think having pete near has to be the catalyst for that, because he is also the living proof of there being a way out. he’s an enigma, he was one of tony’s children, and now he’s free and he’s not connected to tony anymore. so yeah, i am waiting for that way redemption arc, and it better come fast.

and this is the part where i have to defend babe lmao i don’t think you’re wrong with it maybe being a case of telling and not showing which isn’t great, but it could also be about babe being so enamoured with charlie that he’s neglecting way… momentarily. we still see them alone together, but way is more tense and stressed than ever and babe has constant relationship drama with charlie, so i think it’s understandable there’s more attention to that. also this may be just me projecting but i do think babe is dumb af irt way’s feelings towards him, either in really not seeing them or gaslighting himself (as he tries to do everyone else) in there not being anything to see in the first place; it’s clear he doesn’t feel the same way and he doesn’t want to loose his best friend, so he takes the easy way out by pretending there’s nothing there. i do think he’s putting his foot down with everyone else if not way himself by repeatedly defining their relationship to them and saying in no unclear terms that they are friends and they couldn’t be anything else, same as when he said the thing about way’s boy

i think it was a not-so-subtle way to tell him to look elsewhere. but then we get things like the joke in that flashback at the aunt’s restaurant (which tbf was from many years ago) which felt like a punch in the gut to me lol there are a couple more moments when babe jokes about way being his boyfriend/makes a comment about him acting like his boyfriend which is what makes me think he’s just dumb and not cruel.

about the racing i honestly. don’t know what to say because why would the hours spent training be more important than the actual performance? i still do think dean should have been the one to race, don’t get me wrong, but the logic isn’t really logicking for me there. i don’t think the narrative supports my belief that he’s better than charlie at all but still charlie is using babe’s senses to race and not winning, so. why would you (babe) do that to my child, specifically when we’re told that he would have been fair/respected all the work dean has been putting into training if not for charlie?

#pit babe #pit babe the series #help idk how to tag this #asks #anon #way anon #long post #like seriously #extremely long post

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leo-dooley-lab-rats · 11 months

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On The Edge is Best of Season Four of Lab Rats

I have a few things to say about the On The Edge special. Out of the many specials in season four, it’s by far my favorite as it’s clearly a Leo focused special. I am a Leo fan girl through and through. Leo since the start of the Island stuff has been stuck as a student trying to prove himself worthy of being a mentor. The special brings out all Leo’s pent-up frustrations and allows him to express them.

I find the special to be a really good character study of Leo as well. Part one of the special has the more negative qualities on display(Leo’s recklessness, impatience, ego, arrogance, and even some his trademark sneakiness) while part two puts Leo’s best qualities on display(his fearlessness, his compassion, determination, etc.). The first part has Leo’s worst qualities blow up in his face to only have his best qualities shine threw and save the day.

In terms of season four, each of the many specials focus on one of the main characters. Bionic Action Hero is mainly a Bree special with Chase and Adam centered stuff thrown in. Space Colony is primary an Adam special. Bionic Rebellion is mostly a Chase centered special, if I had say anyone was focused on. The finale/The Vanishing is Douglas/Daniel focused special while serving as the series finale and last hooray for the cast/series. On The Edge is Leo’s focused special.

I think before going further its with pointing out that Disney+ took out some scenes for streaming, but for the purpose of this I will be talking about scenes and episode as it originally aired. I found the transcript of the episode along with OG broadcasted episode. I won’t link with the episode since it’s technically would be a pirated version. I do trust anyone who is interested in the OG version can find it themselves. The transcript is pulled from the Lab Rats Wiki, IMBd, and Quotes.net, but mostly the Wiki.

I want to quickly touch on some of acting in the On The Edge special. Tyrel Jackson Williams(actor who plays Leo) is one of the best actors in the cast of Lab Rats and I think most fans can agree on that. Williams acting in whole special is great. He isn’t often given much dramatic material to work with in Lab Rats since it is a sitcoms, but this special does. I think the On The Edge is some of Williams best in the show. The way he portrays Leo in this episode is just great. Leo is still as funny as ever, but Williams able to give weight Leo’s anger, frustrations, guilt, and joy. You can tell Tyrel put a lot of heart into Leo. Watching Leo on the bridge mission with Taylor and saving Chase are some Tyrel’s most dramatic moments on the show. The rest of the other members of the cast are great, but I think Tyrel brings just something more than usual in terms of acting in the On The Edge special.

The score for On The Edge is solid. There are a few spots where I think score just shines and goes above a normal TV score(I will point where that is when it comes up). Lab Rats score for TV sitcoms is decent and does it job, but I think for the specials, and On The Edge especially, the score is just a step above normal.

The special starts off with Leo is rightly upset that Adam, Bree, and Chase are getting honored with an award and tells his family about it. His family, namely Adam, Bree, and Chase, as usually don’t listen. A big thing with dynamic of Adam, Bree, Chase, and Leo is the trio not taking Leo 100% seriously ever. The bionic trio didn’t believe Leo about Marcus, didn’t think bringing Douglas to help fix Bree’s chip was a good idea, and didn’t think Leo had a leg to stand on for his argument that he should be a mentor. Even Donald Davenport doesn’t take Leo 100% seriously. Leo not getting the award along side his family is just another thing in a long line of things that Leo isn’t believed or taken serious on.

“I worked so hard to prove myself but it doesn't matter. They're always gonna see me as their little barely bionic brother.”

As the special goes on, we see Leo air his complicate to both his new team and to his family. It’s paints a picture that Leo has been feeling undervalued for a long time.

Leo appears to appreciate all the positive feedback that he starts to get from Taylor and Logan(members of Leo’s team) and some of that is Leo’s ego. Even Logan’s hero worship of Leo means a lot to Leo. I can’t help but think a lot of it is also Leo getting some validation he hasn’t been getting anywhere else. It’s pretty clear that Taylor and Logan’s support throughout the special mean a lot to Leo. Leo does get a little arrogant as their leader by exaggerating his own successes/abilities.

“Talk about an underdog. He was just a regular guy. And all of a sudden he got bionics and became an inspiration to the whole world.”

Taylor and Logan(Logan especially) are there from story structure standpoint to help Leo have someone to listen and actual hear what he saying. Taylor and Logan listen to what Leo is saying and take him seriously as a leader while his siblings(mostly Chase) don’t.

There is unique to view Logan, Taylor, and Leo as a parallel of sorts to Adam, Bree, and Chase. Leo is Chase aka the leader of group. Logan is Adam aka the dumb but loyal protector. Bree is Taylor aka balancer/mediator of the team who sometimes acts in a leader role. Taylor is a bit of stretch, but I think it’s interesting way to look at Leo’s team.

“I am MORE than ready, and maybe I wouldn't feel like I need to prove that to you guys if you weren't looking down on me.”

A line from Leo “if you guys weren’t always looking down on me,” really stands out as to how Leo feels. He doesn’t feel like an equal in his own family. He was made a student upon arriving, not mentor like literally everyone else in his family(minus Tasha and possibly Douglas). There’s also the fact Leo wasn’t bionic for the most of the show and only recently got a bionic arm and later bionic leg. It’s not hard to see why Leo feels like he is not an equal in his own family. There isn’t much to suggest otherwise.

“Is that why you're always bragging about how you're not one of us? I think you're just pretending to be a student so you can spy on us for the enemy.”

When you watch back earlier episodes in the Island storyline, you start to notice that Leo harks on the fact he is family to the mentors and goes on missions. Leo even throw a tantrum when he was “assigned to live in the student dorm”(episode: Bionic Rebellion). Seriously, the Bionic Rebellion special has Leo spend a lot of time ranting the student about all this. I think Leo is trying to point out and cling on to all the ways he is different from the other student.

Sometime that really speaks volumes to how sort of clueless Davenports are to how Leo is feeling is that when says he feels like “always looking down on” him. Bree replies “we don't look down on you”. I find that pretty telling that his family doesn’t realize how Leo is feeling.

We going to take quick look at interaction between Leo and his team that I think highlights how Leo is feeling. The scene comes after Taylor and Leo show Chase their new combined EMP ability and Chase tells Leo and Taylor not to use the ability. The scene starts with Leo being frustrated that despite working hard to proving himself it doesn’t change how his family sees him as the “little brother whose barely bionic”. Leo takes Chase not trust Taylor and Leo to their new EMP as a sign of how his family sees him. Leo even states in the scene “I'm so sick of them not treating me seriously. It's time to prove I'm as much a bionic hero as they are”.

“I hate this. I've worked so hard to prove myself but it doesn't matter. They're always going to see me as their little brother whose barely bionic.”

Taylor and Logan actually try to comfort Leo about how he is feeling. Taylor even tells Leo that her and Logan they’ve got Leo’s back. For Leo, these appear to be the only two people that believe in him and his abilities right now.

When Leo tries to convince Chase to let Taylor and him use the ability, Chase doesn’t let them have a word in. Leo give a good reason that if this ability was when they were fighting Krane then the Triton app could be taken out much easier. Chase tells Leo that “doesn’t matter” and that ability “is dangerous”. In the long run, Chase is half right that ability was dangerous. The problem here is that Chase wasn’t willing to hear Leo out and due that the EMP ability became dangerous(because Leo was trying to prove himself to his family/Chase). When the ability was used again in part two, it wasn’t dangerous. The ability wasn’t dangerous the first times the ability was used by. It was only dangerous when Leo was trying to prove something.

You could make the argument that EMP ability is what symbolic of Leo’s journey. The ability is found by accident like how Leo often causes accidents and found the the Lab by accident. The ability wasn’t dangerous until Leo’s recklessness and need to prove himself took him. This often happens when Leo was trying to impress Jenelle or even other social situations. The ability becomes safe again when Leo is not trying to impress or prove anything rather he just trying to help.

Leo drive and need to prove himself leads to Leo seriously injuring Taylor. The injuring of Taylor is classic recklessness of Leo with a hint of ego/arrogance. Leo thought they could handle it while also rushing into using this new EMP ability without knowing much about it.

“Back off! This is my team!”

When looking at the scene where Taylor actually gets hurt it is the build of a lot Leo trying to prove himself once again, but feeling like his family is once again telling him he’s not good enough. The scene starts off with Leo and Taylor doing well training to use the ability. The problem starts with Leo and Taylor add more power to EMP because Leo wants to show-off a little. In the show that’s often where Leo’s problems start, when he is trying to show off to Jenelle or someone else. Chase and Bree telling Leo to stop using the ability doesn’t help. Leo is stubborn and I think he is done listening to them. He wants to show them he is worth taking seriously.

The score in the scene is just great. I love how sound effects and music mix together. The score helps sell the intensity of the interaction. I don’t have much else to say other than score is just great in these scene.

“Oh, please, you're just jealous that your team isn't as powerful as mine.”

Tyrel Jackson Williams acting in the scene is just amazing. The way Tyrel delivers the anger, hurt, and determination in some of lines is amazing. When Leo claims Chase is jealous the playful tone that underlined with angry and hurt is amazing. After Taylor is hurt, the way Tyrel acts is amazing. The guilt and shock is written all over the acting/character. It is just amazing how well Tyrel gets the emotions in the scene.

“I can't believe it. She's never gonna see again. It's all because of me.”

The next couple scenes after training mishap with EMP ability have Leo thinking everything will be fine and Taylor will be okay. Leo has had bad injuries and he just got bionics. It’s makes sense for Leo to think this way. It’s also very innocent way of thinking.

It isn’t until the news that Taylor is now blind thanks to Leo’s leadership that things change. Lab Rats doesn’t always have lasting consequences like this. Leo got his arm and leg crushed but he was fine since he got a bionic upgrades/replacements(not completely sure how that worked). Villains dies off screen or in the case of Marcus is technically a robot so the death can be shown. Taylor getting blinded is just brutal and sets up next part perfectly(we will get into soon). It’s honestly one of the worst and most lasting thing to happen on the show.

Side note: not completely related, but interesting to point out(I’m not the only who has noticed this). Taylor, formerly S-1, was the reason Leo’s arm was destroyed and now here Leo takes Taylor’s sight. Don’t know if was intentional, but interesting parallel.

Leo rightly feels a lot of guilt over what happened to Taylor and decides to leave the island. I know some people don’t like this scene. I find that it’s very in character character for Leo. Leo tends to put the protection of those he loves first and does whatever he can to protect them. I think in his mind by leaving he was protecting everyone. It is debatable if Leo made the right call here or not, but it was his decision to make at the end of the day.

“Taylor has to live with my mistake for the rest of her life.”

I want to actually take a moment to actual break down the whole scene where Leo leaves the island. It’s very powerful scene and sets the stage for the second part of the special. It’s very impressive that whole scene is carried by acting alone, there no music until the Leo starts to board the hytroloop.

Disclaimer: the photo edit above was created by me.

The conversion in the scene is mostly between Leo, Chase, and Donald Davenport. The special as whole does have Adam, Bree, and Douglas as features rather than a main focus. Adam and Douglas in the first part mostly work on making limo indestructible. Bree tends to be paired with Chase or Adam in scenes to help add to conversion, but her character isn’t really a focus in this special. Even Donald’s role in the overall story is small. In this scene and other dramatic scenes, Donald acts in his mentor/father role in the show. The special is mostly about Leo and his problems, but it’s feature Chase quite a bit. Chase arguably is the one Leo is most close to out of the trio. The special takes their stable relationship and breaks it down. Leo and Chase bud heads as Leo wants to step and be a leader. Chase doesn’t want to let go of being a leader and he doesn’t see Leo as anything more than his little brother. The whole point I am making is the scene here is the climax of the first part and it chooses to focus on these characters.

I think Chase’s line of “I never meant for you to leave” says a lot of what was going on. This clashing of heads between Leo and bionic trio on the surface didn’t seem like anything new to trio. If you look at Leo’s point of view this clash was culmination of everything since they got to the island. From the trio’s point of view it was just another disagreement to solved and fixed in a couple days. I don’t think Adam, Bree, or Chase actually thought Leo was this upset about Taylor or his place at the Academy until then.

Headcanon: I also like to think that trio never can imagine Leo up and leaving. Leo has never really left their side from extended period since the day they meant as the show explains. Leo is also the one who showed them the real world and was the first real friend outside the lab. He is an important figure in their life.

There is very interesting idea presented in the scene about mistakes and leadership. Donald Davenport states “part of being a leader is making mistakes. You learn from them, and you move on”. It’s actual a good piece of advice for life, not just leadership. Donald even points out Chase’s mistakes throughout the show as an example. Something I really like and is just a such a Leo thing to do, Leo makes a clear distinction between Chase’s mistakes and his own. That distinction is that Chase mistakes “never hurt anyone” while his mistake with Taylor is permit and hurt her.

In the scene Leo has clearly made up his mind and thought through everything he wants to say. Everyone else is a sort of shocked state trying to get Leo to stay, but he isn’t having any of it. Leo as a character is very stubborn so scene really showcases that. Leo has clearly also dealing with a LOT guilt and likely PTSD from what happened with Taylor.

“I'm going back to Mission Creek. I don't belong here anymore. I'm quitting the academy.”

I find Leo’s final words and his words beginning of the of scene to provide a bit of insight into Leo’s headspace. Let’s start with “I don’t belong here anymore”. Leo throughout the special has shown he feels like he not an equal with his family while the island stuff has shown Leo positions himself as not just a student(see above arguments). Leo never really belonged anywhere on the fully.

Leo made his own team in the special and I think that was the first time Leo felt he belonged on the island. Leo didn’t have student friends like Bob or Spin. He came to the understanding and respect of Spin. I think Leo puts up with Bob for Adam’s sake. The other students we don’t really see Leo interact with until this special. Leo clearly enjoys and loves spending time with Taylor and Logan. There is Douglas, Donald, and his siblings, but the Davenbros(Donald and Douglas) aren’t always around and the trio is likely busy with classes and stuff. Again, I want to point that Leo is student while his siblings are mentors. Even Leo’s stepdad is a mentor. It can create feelings of not fully belonging. I do want to point out that Tasha, Leo’s mother, isn’t around and I think everyone in the fandom can agree that if Tasha was around on the island then Leo would have had better emotional support.

“Give it[his mission suit] to someone more deserving… it's not your choice. It's mine. Bye, guys. Sorry I let you down.”

I see Leo giving back his mission suit as something very symbolic. In comics, a mission suit/super suit, the costume/suit is often seen something you have worthy to wear and something that is apart the hero’s journey/mission. Think back to Superman getting his suit in basically any origin show/movie/comic/story when he gets the suit it’s the moment where is ready or worthy to start saving the world. When Leo got his suit in the show it was the moment he was finally worthy and ready to join the team on missions. When Leo says “give it some deserving” it’s his guilt saying he is no longer worthy of the suit, going on missions, or being a hero because of he did to Taylor.

Leo goes further later on with this deserving idea with Logan telling him that deserves “better team. Or at least a better leader”. Leo’s guilt is speaking here and sees himself unworthy to a leader. This conversion also ties into the idea presented by Leo earlier when he made the distinction between Chase’s and his mistakes as leaders. Leo is pointing out that Chase is the better and more deserving leader in a way by stating this. Leo even earlier stated he wasn’t “cut out to be a leader”.

One last thing to touch on in this scene in the framing. Look at Leo in relation to everyone else(see image). Throughout the scene, Leo is apart from everyone else. It’s a good way to show just alone Leo must feel. Also, interesting choice to have Leo in red shirt in the scene which is the same as mission outfit(not sure if it has a meaning or not. Just thought it was interesting to point out). Leo being out of his student uniform and standing from the everyone else could also tie into Leo’s line of how he does not “belong here anymore”

Quickly before getting to part two of the special, a few notes on Leo’s worst qualities displayed during part one(I mentioned earlier this and wanted to make I touched on, but couldn’t find place anywhere else). The way Leo gets his team is rather sneaky. Leo knows Donald Davenport isn’t paying attention, so he asks then to ensure he gets what he wants. Leo is quick to inflated ego when Taylor or Logan even slightly build up. He is also somewhat reckless later on with EMP ability. There is a LOT of arrogance in the way Leo behaves in the way he believes that Taylor and him can just control EMP ability and his own leadership skills(not all unfounded though as Leo has many moments of leadership throughout the show).

Moving onto part two of the special, the episode cuts to two weeks later to check in on the character. The first couple scenes during part two of the special shows how Adam, Bree, and Chase come to realize how they were being unfair to Leo due to his departure. I do believe that Leo had to leave the island the island for Adam, Bree, and Chase to realize that how they really treating Leo and how Leo deserved to be treated better.

Side Note: I appreciate how the first couple scenes of the second part deal with the aftermath of Taylor being blinded and Leo leaving. I think a lot of fans watching On The Edge for the first time(didn’t watch the trailer or watched the show on a binge/blind) were surprised/shocked that Leo left at the end of part one. I think that episode taking time to show the characters dealing the emotions and aftermath of part one is a smart move that helps the audience process the information too and helps up some of future events in the special.

The first scene of the episode is a phone call between the bionic trio and Leo. The phone call between the the trio and Leo is just great to show the new status quo that has established on the island during time-skip of two weeks. Leo is still set on not coming back to the island or the team despite the bionic trio trying to convince Leo to come back during the call. I’ve always read this scene as this is not the first time the trio have tried to convince Leo to come back(feel free to read another way). That does run into headcanon territory, but I don’t think it’s that big of a leap to think that the trio on more than occasion tried to get their brother to return to the island.

Note: Tasha is mentioned at least twice in the phone call, but she never appears in the special. I wish she actually did appear since this is the big Leo focused special since Tasha is Leo’s mother and biggest supporter.

Something I find really interesting in the phone conversion is that Chase asks Leo, “when are you coming back?” Chase didn’t ask if he was coming rather when. It’s an interesting choice of words and says a lot about Chase’s line of thinking. I think another interesting comment comes from Bree stating “it's really weird not having you here, Leo”. I said this earlier, but this is longest time the characters have been split up since the the start of the show. Humans are creatures of habit so, it really must be strange to not have Leo around. Leo has been there despite the other changes in their lives(ex: moving to the island, new lab, etc), so it is just strange and new reality for the whole family.

“I feel bad. We should've given him more credit.”

After the call, the trio discuss Leo and the ceremony. I find the way the trio, mostly Bree and Chase, discuss Leo interesting. It’s clear they all feel guilty and realizes that Leo deserved more credit and be at the award ceremony. Bree talks her feelings and how had more credit. Bree got the heart of the issues fairly quickly(I think Bree is pretty good overall when called for at getting to heart of emotional problems). Then Chase jumps in states that Leo deserves the award as much as the rest of the team. I think it was good choice to give Chase this line. Chase at the start of the episode was the one(beside Donald Davenport) most against Leo getting the award with the rest of the team. Chase used the numbers/data to justify the decision rather than the actual merits Leo possesses that would make worthy of the award. Adam jumps in with the joke of cardboard Leo. I wish do we had a line or two more on the emotions in scene before cardboard Leo.

“He deserves to be up there with us at the award ceremony tomorrow.”

I actually think cardboard Leo has a bit more depth than most give it credit for. First off, I think Adam misses having Leo around and the cardboard cut out is a way to have Leo around(sort of). The audience is introduced to the cardboard cut after Chase says Leo deserves to be at the award ceremony, with Adam saying “that's why he's[Leo] gonna be”. I think Adam is trying to do a nice thing here by trying to bring Leo to the ceremony any way he can. Adam even puts the cardboard Leo in a tux and brings into the limo all so he take it into the ceremony. That’s a lot of effort for a piece of cardboard.

“When real Leo watches from home, I want him to feel like he's still an important part of our team.”

There is another side of cardboard Leo that is sort creepy. It is just a piece of cardboard, not the real person of Leo Dooley. It’s also clear that Bree and Chase don’t approve of cardboard Leo whatsoever and don’t want Adam to bring it to the ceremony. Still, everyone in the family lets Adam bring the cardboard cutout in the limo anyways.

“Have you lost your mind? This is not our brother, it's a piece of cardboard.”

The next scene deals with how Taylor is doing with her newfound blindness. Taylor is doing fairly well as she up and about and is good spirits. Taylor even asks if anyone has gotten Leo to come back to island. I actually like that she asks this since it show that Taylor doesn’t hold any grudges against Leo for playing a part in blinding her.

Note: Logan is also in the scene that is checking up on how Taylor since her accident. I really appreciate Logan being in the scene since it shows that Leo isn’t the connective tissue for Taylor and Logan being/staying friends.

I appreciate that the episode doesn’t shy away from the fact that Taylor is now blind, but doesn’t treat that disability as if it is end of the world. There is concept called ableism that basically means bias/prejudice/discrimination against people with disabilities hinging on the idea that people with disabilities are less valuable and have lesser quality of life than nondisabled people (further reading on the subject of ableism). I appreciate that the episode is firmly anti-ableism. Taylor’s quality of life isn’t lessen and she was still valuable to missions/the team. It’s just refreshing to have a piece of media that’s not ableist.

“Have any of you guys spoken to Leo? I was hoping someone convinced him to come back to the academy by now.”

I’d argue Taylor is the one who had to learn that she is still of value to the team. She was the one who thought she couldn’t go on missions anymore thinking . Leo told her that she’d “just be in the way”(episode: On The Edge). Leo counters this convincing Taylor she won’t be in the way telling her she still has a lot to offer and he needs her help. I’ll talk about this conversation between Leo and Taylor later, but I do appreciate it.

On last thing on Taylor being anti-ableism is Taylor on the bridge mission hears a snapping cable on bridge before Leo and Logan and she pushes them both out of the way saving all of their lives. Taylor explains that her senses have increased/improved since she lost her sight which is true to life. People who lose one of their five senses then the other four tend to improve(this fact is sort basis of Daredevil). I like that Taylor has this big moment that shows/proves that Leo is right, Taylor is NOT in the way. I also like that during the bridge mission Taylor is still willing to use the EMP ability despite being the thing that blinded her.

It is rare in media today to have disabled characters not be written with ableist, so I appreciate how Taylor isn’t an ableist character. It’s refreshing and nice to see.

I haven’t said much about indestructible self-driving limo that Douglas, Adam, and Donald Davenport were working on during the first part since it didn’t feel important until now. Adam and Douglas making the limo indestructible was just a fun side-story/b-plot of the first part, but I love how limo comes back in part two as major part of the plot. I know that’s basic writing, but I do appreciate it.

On a plot level, the limo being as high-tech with all the upgrades given to it in part one is the reason why the limo gets stuck on the bridge collapsing in the first place and traps the Davenports(Douglas, Donald, Adam, Bree, and Chase) inside. Since the limo goes into lockdown when an emergency is detected and the tech that makes impossible to get in the limo also makes it impossible to get out.

“I know you quit the team, but your family needs you.”

Before getting to big bridge rescue let’s go over the phone call between Taylor and Leo. I love the fact that Taylor first idea when she sees the mentors are in trouble are to call Leo for help. It shows that she still sees Leo as her leader. Also, a little ironic considering she was S-1 during the Krane thing and seemed to be one of leading solders there.

The phone call starts with Leo asking how Taylor doing which Taylor quickly shuts down. Taylor gets straight to the points stating “there's been a horrible accident with your family's limo”(episode: On The Edge). I like how Leo doesn’t try to say he is retired or doesn’t do mission anymore, he just asks “what? Where” (episode: On The Edge). That reply is just so in character for Leo. Leo doesn’t hesitate to help those he cares about. Examples being Leo going on the particle accelerator mission to save Adam, Bree, and Chase, running head first to Marcus and Dougls’ lair to save Donald and the trio, or bring Douglas to lab to fix Bree’s chip despite Donald not wanting Douglas there.

“Look, you're not gonna be in the way. You've still got a lot to offer, and I need your help”

I really like that Leo assumes that BOTH Taylor and Logan are going on the mission. He doesn’t think that any of Taylor being blind now. This line of thinking leads to a great conversation between Taylor and Leo. Leo in season four has been the character giving pep talks and talking down the bad guy. The conversation between Taylor and Leo here follows that compassion trend for Leo in season four and I want to break down the scene.

When Taylor tells Leo she’s not going, Leo simply asks her for a reason. Taylor thinks/answers that her disability/blindness is the reason she can’t go on the mission because she will just be in the way. Leo in early seasons(especially one and two) was clumsy and tended to make a big mess out things. He even created a lot of his own problems/the problems of the episode. As the series went on, Leo became more competent, less clumsy, and he didn’t make as many problems. Leo even worked his way from a kid wanting to go on missions, be on the team, and have bionic to mission specialist to member of the team with bionics. Leo had setback and missteps, which included going on missions before he was ready. That’s what makes Leo the best person to talk to Taylor here. Leo understand better than anyone that messing up/making mistakes is going to happen, but that doesn’t means to give up.

“Well, the only difference is, I was awesome and you're stuck in mud. Look, I get it. But just like Big D said, focus on your training. Trust me, you'll get there.”

I love that Leo draws on his own experience and asks Taylor “do you have any idea how times I've been in the way on a mission?” It is a sign of growth. Leo isn’t always the most humble person. He does have ego and arrogance, but when it counts Leo is willing to put both of these aside to help someone else. I actually think this is the first time Leo doesn’t try to add a level of ego/arrogance to the statement about his own experiences. For example, looking back at Leo’s pep talk to Spin when he was upset about not being ready for missions Leo starts with level arrogance saying he was awesome to able to go on missions when he was fourteen. Still, Leo does relate, tries to comfort, and give advice to Spin.

“Don't worry. We're gonna make it though this together. All three of us.”

Taylor is not completely convinced by Leo telling her she’s not going to be in way and he needs her help. I like that it takes one last little push from Leo saying it’s all three of them(Leo, Taylor, and Logan) in the mission today that gets Taylor to come. Leo and Logan are from my reading are closest friends at the academy(feel free to disagree with me on that).

“Get them[civilians] off the bridge and set up the triage area. Where's the limo?”

Let’s start looking at the bridge mission which is Leo’s big hero/leadership moment. There is one quick, easy to miss line/moment, at the start of bridge mission scene where Leo gives orders to student(who go mostly unseen since we only see like two or three students and civilians on the bridge) to get the civilians off the bridge. Later on, the special mentions Leo leading the mission so, it’s nice to know that special actually shows it rather than only saying it.

The next few pieces of dialog have Doanld Davenport tell Leo and his team to disable the limo’s computer to turn off car’s lockdown and release the locks. Leo immediately comes up with plan after hearing this information. Leo’s plan is using Leo and Taylor EMP ability with Logan using one of his abilities to guide the EMP to limo’s computer.

Leo’s plan is smart and will get the job done. The problem is that when Leo and the rest of team try to enact this plan, Leo has a flashback to blinding Taylor(see note below on Leo and PTSD). I say a flashback because, the editing uses the footage from when Taylor was hurt. Basically when Leo and Taylor try to use the ability, the camera intensely focuses on Leo, then intensely focused on Taylor. Then camera goes back to Leo. This intense focus on Taylor is mean to be from Leo’s perspective aka Leo looking at Taylor. As the camera intensely focused on Leo, there is a cut to footage from part one from when Taylor was hurt the last Leo and Taylor used their EMP ability. The way this part is edited, it makes the viewer think that the next cut from second shot of Leo will back Taylor in the present. It’s very clever and well-done editing.

Note on Leo having PTSD Headcanon: this flashback scene and the how traumatic of an event blinding Taylor leads a lot fans(myself included) to believe Leo has PTSD from the event. It is important to remember that flashbacks to the traumatic event are a sign of PTSD. I don’t have much to say on this. The writers don’t go into much depth on PTSD or if Leo has it or not. It hasn’t even been confirmed, as far as I know, by the writers/creators on social media or on interviews if Leo has PTSD. The writing and acting supports the ideas that Leo has PTSD. It is still mostly just a headcanon, but I think most fans can agree Leo does have PTSD from that the event of blinding Taylor.

Leo due to this guilt and likely PTSD(see above), can’t go through with using the EMP again. He doesn’t want to hurt Taylor or anyone again. That’s the core of why Leo left the island and being a hero in the first place. He didn’t want to hurt anyone else.

The score in this moment is amazing! I love the way the music has sort uneasy building tension sound(sort of like a train moving down the line) before Leo and Taylor attempt to EMP ability. Once they start, the music takes uneasy dip. The sound effects for ablilies, like lighting sort of sound is mixed in the score(really clever). The music keeps building and building, then it stops. Everything is silent. Leo has pulled back. I think reason why there is uneasy feeling with score in this section is possibly the music used a minor key (don’t quote me on that). The music/score adds a lot to internal conflict going on inside Leo head.

“I can't do this. What if I hurt you again? What if I hurt them[Adam, Bree, Chase, Donald, and Douglas]? I don't wanna ruin anyone else's life.”

I’ve mentioned this easier, but this is one of Tyrel Jackson Williams best acted episode. The way Williams acts this during this interaction is just amazing. You can see the all the uncertainty and anxiety that quickly became guilt and fear after the flashback. The way Leo, not only take his hand away, but pulls his body away says a lot. Leo’s line delivery after pulling back is just amazing. The way he sounds so defeated is so unlike Leo(normally one of the determined characters in the show) but considering everything Leo has been through in the special it’s in character when he says it now. Plus, the way Leo’s voice cracks when he says “what I hurt them”(‘them’ refers to his family in limo) is nice added layer to Tyrel’s deliver.

The acting on Tyrel’s part even shows the conflict of wanting to help his family, but feeling like he all he’s going to do his hurt someone again. Even Leo’s character and writing support this. Every time I rewatch this scene or the special, I wish that Tyrel did more acting after Lab Rats ended. He has real talent for it.

“Leo, you didn't ruin my life. It was an accident. And if I'm not gonna let it stop me from being a bionic hero, why should you? This is it, Leo. This is your chance to prove you're the leader I know you are. So...are you in?”

After Leo’s speech about not wanting hurt anyone, it’s Taylor’s turn to give Leo a pep talk. There is a real beautiful in what Taylor is telling Leo and it’s a nice role reversal. I like how Leo has someone who believes in him(minus Tasha and Logan). You can tell throughout the special, especially here, that Taylor and Leo have come a long way since when they first met and formed a close friendship.

There’s a really great moment of editing where after Taylor asks “if I'm not gonna let it[her blindness] stop me from being a bionic hero, why should you,” then there’s nat/natural rumble sound effect and cut to the limo. I don’t think that edit is to suggest that Leo’s family stopping Leo rather it’s meant to remind Leo/audience what he has to fight for. The look Leo has when looking at limo reads of confusion, worry, and doubt. Leo realizes he could lose his family if messes up and possible hurt Taylor again. It’s all over his face.

The way Leo during the last little half the speech where starts to understand how much Taylor actual believes in him is nice to see. The way Leo’s face start changing from confused, guilty, and worry to determined is great. There is even still a little doubt/worry about hurting Taylor in eyes, but you can tell Leo is truly ready to be back out in the field again. I really like how before Leo says he’s in, he take a quick look at his family. The acting is just so great here.

The next part in scene has Taylor hear a cable snap and pushing everyone out of the way. Another great moment of acting as Taylor explains how she hurt it before everyone else, Leo just gets look of understanding. He is speechless. I think he understood what Taylor meant when she told him “you didn’t ruin my life”.

The next part of bridge scene I want to cover is the Leo and Taylor using the EMP. After Leo and his team get back up after the snapped cable thing, we see Leo acting fully as a leader. He is giving Taylor and Logan orders based off his plan. This time when Leo and Taylor use EMP ability the frame and shot from earlier(when Leo pulled back) are basically the same with more triumphant and heroic sounding music. Leo looks less fearful and has that determination look in his in face. Leo even seems to have some confidence in himself back. There is an air of worry, but Leo is back in action. The way the acting and music are done here is just fanatic.

“Trust me. We got this”

That moment when Leo’s plan work, it feels like real victory. The music support this as well with the music reaching its climax when the doors unlock(which was Leo’s end goal with using EMP).

“I'll get Chase. You guys get everyone else out of here.”

The big part I want talk about is Leo’s rescue of Chase. I know Chase ends up being the damsel in distress(for lack of term) a lot during Lab Rats, but I think it works here. Leo and Chase during part one of special had a big falling out. By having Leo needing personally save Chase as a way mending fences.

I will never gets over how well done the acting, music, and editing is. The way Leo looks so determined and desperate to save his brother. Chase trying to Leo to leave to save himself. Leo unwillingness to just let Chase die. The scene is melodrama and over-dramatics. The scene doesn’t need to have so many shots focusing on Leo’s and Chase’s face and hands, but I think the scene is better for it. You can tell how much these two have gone through the past couple of weeks, all the unsaids, but right now they are focused on trying to save each other. Its desperate and intense scene and, its beautiful.

I see find the two hand reaching out for reach other to some what symbolic of Leo and Chase journey of the special of reaching an understanding/respect. Leo and Chase did have a failing out and here finally appeared to mend that rift. I don’t have much to back this up other than my reading.

Personal story: I remember watching this live back when it first aired and this scene had my heart pounding. The sigh of relief I had when Chase was safe is hard to describe.

After saving Chase gives Leo an apology that was a long time coming. I love that Chase finally admit he should have never doubted Leo. It’s nice to see Chase finally seeing Leo as hero properly and Leo getting to see that Chase sees him that way.

“Leo, you did it. You saved my life. Sorry I ever doubted you.”

What I always loved about what happened next is Leo didn’t really reply to Chase’s apology. He just says “I’m just glad you’re okay”. The relief and joy in Leo’s voice and face says it all. It’s such a simple and lovely reply.

“I'm just glad you're okay.”

There is still a lot both Chase and Leo would probable say to each other about what happened, but I love that in that moment they are just happy that they are both okay. It’s just a beautiful moment. I never get sick of watching it even if it only four lines of dialog. It’s says a lot in very little.

The final parts of the special deal with Leo finally getting the credit he deserves serving as epilogue of sorts for the special. The first scene takes the audience to the award ceremony and we see Adam, Bree, and Chase. It takes a few minutes, but Leo is revealed to standing next to them receive the award along side them.

Note: I forgot to mention the award(sorry).

I think some of the words president uses describes Leo extremely well. The words go as follows the “real way to measure a true hero is by their determination to never give up”. It’s perfect way to describe Leo’s character in the show and in the special. It’s clever that after President says these words, the camera reveals Leo is receiving the award as well.

“Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, but the real way to measure a true hero is by their determination to never give up.”

The next scene has Leo finally become a mentor at the academy. When Leo walks out as mentor, it feels like an end to journey. I have come to respect the decision to make Leo a student due to special. It would have been nice to see Leo be a mentor the whole time, but I don’t think it would be as good as season without it. Leo has always been the protagonist of Lab Rats. It’s his story and journey that the show follows. I think by having Leo as a student it allowed the writers to more easily follow the student while also giving Leo something to work for.

Leo always wanted be bionic hero and go on missions. Once the island stuff started, Leo wanted to be mentor. I think the deeper reason for this was that Leo wanted to like his siblings, respected by them, or at least fully apart of their world. The special has Leo finally gain the full respect of his family and the students on the island. The special is final piece in Leo’s four season long journey of becoming a hero. Leo has finally has everything he has ever wanted.

“Not only is Leo back at the island, but because of his bravery and leadership on the bridge mission, I have officially made him a mentor.”

The next couple interactions in the scene of Leo become a mentor just wrap things up. We have Chase telling Leo he’s proud of him and they hug. After seeing Leo and Chase at odds in part one, it is so nice to see them actually liking each other again. At the end of special Chase is the one to hoist Leo on his shoulders and start the whole academy chanting Leo’s name. The final scene here shows how much the who have mended their rift and are truly brother again.

“I didn't think I'd ever go on a mission again, Leo. But you changed all that.”

The next interaction is between Taylor and Leo both thanking each other for helping each each. Taylor thanks for Leo helps getting back out on the field and Leo thanking Taylor for believing him. Leo and Taylor also hug with Logan joining said hug. It’s a great interaction that shows that how deep Leo and Taylor’s friendship is.

“I'm the one who should be thanking you. You showed me I really am a leader.”

The last little moment I want touch on is that Douglas is crying during all of this. I love this. Douglas is the one who originally started training Leo and Leo and Douglas appear to have a strong friendship. It’s small, but sweet interaction.

On The Edge does work in many ways as the finale to Lab Rats. Leo is more or less the protagonist of the show. Leo’s journey is so well wrapped up by the end of these special that in the finale Leo doesn’t have much to do(he has stuff to do, but it’s very minor) I have a lot problems and issues with finale and Elite Force, but I do still love Lab Rats.

I find more and more I come back to the On The Edge special and appreciate all it’s done for Leo. I find the special does a great job handling the characters it focuses on and is honestly the most character focused piece in Lab Rats. Leo is allowed to tell other characters how is feeling. There is a lot time spent with the characters and what they are going through. I honestly love a good character drama(seriously, there is a real why the Titans are my favorite team).

I know there are fan that take issue with On The Edge and some of stuff that happens in it along with Island stuff, but I’ve come to really appreciate it over the years. The special has a job of finishing Leo’s character arch for island and the show in general which it handles incredibly well. There are things to be improved on like more stuff with Adam or Bree or having Tasha in the special. Overall, the special is well acted, well edited, and just has great writing. The special most of keeps in mind it’s main focus of Leo and his journey.

Question: what y’all thoughts on anything I’ve discussed here?

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ask-asteri · 2 months

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What kind of people do you guys get along with? And what kinds are frustrating?

G: Or am I?

Al: Doctor please—

#((EDIT: I added two missing text boxes))#long post #EXTREMELY long post #ask asteri #asteri #gaster #alphys #dr. kleg #((This took me so long why did I let Gaster talk so much UUUGGGH))#((im so sorry angel OTL))#((I’m even hesitant to put a post this long on my own blog))

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spooksforsammy · 4 months

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Yo, what’s the usual price for a high end AAC? I’m speech impaired as part of my autism, and speech therapy didn’t help me.

Hello anon. Apology for so much text but have lot say to try help!

Not fully sure what mean by high end. Think mean high tech.

Insurance can pay for speech generated devices but have very… strict requirements and likely won’t qualify. Would also need speech language pathologist (slp) to evaluate you (in us, not sure other countries).

Can create by self, but that price vary depending on what need. Best tablet is iPad, even though more expensive have more common and “better” apps (additive wave, TD Snap, touchchat, ect.) also have more of the free version.

Price change based on app (some like proloque2go have subscription of $250 but not sure is lifetime. Avaz have lifetime for $200, TD snap have lifetime for $50, touchchat have for $300)

And type tablet. Is recommended the AAC tablet is only for AAC though this commonly said for little kids (if see as game tablet might not want use communicate like meant for). Don’t need super high generation tablet for AAC unless want. Can buy generation 6/7 for $160-300 on Amazon. The newer iPad generation cost $400-600. If tablet for multiple, not just AAC then maybe get more storage/ newer generation.

Saw some say can diy (do it yourself) AAC for $500. This pay for

iPad:is brand new, price lower for refurbished(~$350)

Screen protector: (~$20)

Tablet case: (~$20)

Aac app: changes base on app, research price and type set up/ app need. For this we going use proloquo2go & touchchat

Proloquo2go: $250 half price $100

Touchchat: $300. Half price $150

The AAC apps go on sell during autism awareness month and AAC awareness month (April & October)

Total price for diy AAC including Proloquo2go is $640 or half price of $490

Total price for diy AAC including touchchat is $690 or half price of $540.

This just rough idea and price can go up and down based on actual needs.

Feel like highest price can be $1000 for diy and lowest be $300. Is no usual price which why explain all this.

And something not a lot talk about is that with AAC, will likely need speech therapist help learn use. Is okay if don’t, but if you need help and do speech therapy; get it. I have it and once have tablet my therapist going help get use, explain to family, add to iep and whatever else need

Hope this helps anon! Ask if have anymore questions

#speech4amy #actually autistic #autism #speech impairment #aac help #aac user #high tech aac #anon ask #long post #extremely long post

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merionettes · 1 month

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rubicon ask!!

first off I'm so so delighted that I picked up FE3H last summer and that it led me to finding your writing & especially this fic. what an amazing experience, what a treat with every update, I have all these fun memories now of places I was when I got the update email (and screamed internally every time). a little collection of sense memories colored in.

as for the actual question: very curious about your process. did you have an outline going in? I have to imagine yes (or else you're braver than black friday shoppers). how did you go about structuring this, ie did you have a series of Moments in your head that you wrote around and connected, or did you try to build scenes to fit the arcs you had in mind, or a mix of the two? anything and everything you want to share, I'm 🤲

you're killing me!!! man, thanks so much, seriously.

as for the actual question, indeed. hahaha. ha. i delayed answering this for so long because it kept devolving into an essay about the emotional experience of writing a novel for the first time. well i give up. this is now two posts. one is the actual answer to your question, only ten times longer than it needs to be. the other is an essay about the emotional experience of writing a novel for the first time. so… caveat lector.

first part under the cut. ← not kidding about the caveat!!!!!!

i've talked a little about the process before, so i'll piggyback on that post and dig a little more into the differences between the original idea and the finished product, including spoilers i couldn't get into when i'd only posted 55k. ("only." god.)

technically this did start with an outline. technically because at the time i was brand-new to fe3h and hadn't written anything but a few friend-ficlets in about 8 years. thought "skating au!!", spent a fevered weekend outlining all the major scenes, started in on the writing, and…. very quickly realized that i was nowhere near competent enough to actually. write it. "intensely frustrating" does not even scratch the surface, lmao, of what it felt like to have this thing in my head and only be able to produce what felt like the worst clumsiest tritest version of it. very apropos for skating, actually.

looking back on that outline, it had almost nothing to do with the finished product, especially on felix's side. it didn't have the nationals flounce, the timeskip, training in vancouver, the lake, the nhk trophy sports anime climax, the backstory reveal meltdown. (it did have the redemptive healing free skate.) what, critically, it did have was sylvain's personal arc—burned out, desperate to quit, wants to go to college. it ended at exactly the same place as the actual story, with sylvain and dorothea's final skate together. the last line was one of the earliest things i wrote.

in other words, even though almost everything between the first and last scene changed WILDLY in the process of writing, i always knew exactly what i was working towards and that was invaluable.

insert two year timeskip here! during which i would occasionally reopen the skating doc, take a stab at another scene, feel this ominous sense of foreboding, and give up lol. you can thank the 2022 winter olympics for making me get serious, specifically 1) yuzuru hanyu going out in a blaze of bittersweet doomed quad axel glory 2) shoma uno losing to some eighteen year old. i believe my exact words were (consults notes) "anyway time to go back to my fic where i control the narrative and i decide who wins." idk what made this attempt different than any of the others—right time, right inspiration, right circumstances—but this time it caught fire. in uh. in a big way.

so that's when i wrote what i refer to in that post as a skeleton draft and what i've since come to think of as a storyboard on steroids. this is when felix's arc really took shape, beyond "he is sad… he is mad… he is perfectly positioned to see right through sylvain." the fallout from nationals crystallizing, in particular, was one of the things that snapped felix into place and helped determine the tone and focus of the story overall. (that initial outline had much more of a romcom/classic fwb-to-lovers feel.)

the other thing that did this, of course, was sylvain's narrative voice. when i committed to "burnout who is controlling every single word of every thought to avoid admitting that he is burned out" was when this story became what it is. the voice dictated every single scene, the tone, the shape, what was revealed, what was implied, what was never making it on the page. it led me places i didn't anticipate. it made the cuts for me! cute scene you've got in that outline lol sylvain would never.

i see past me in that post dancing around the length, lmao. well the ""storyboard"", the skeleton, whatever you want to call it, was over 100k. and yet even then, EVEN WITH 100K ON PAPER, there was still so much i had no fucking clue was coming! felix pushing sylvain on what he wants was there, but sylvain never explained what happened. my oc jm gautier (thanks for nothing, three hopes!!!) was an ominous presence, but he wasn't the final boss. there was no memory of the first time sylvain and dorothea met. (<- insane.) there was no glenn skate. i had to write to discover all of that.

so like—i cannot emphasize how much i grew as a writer through the experience of writing this story. prose, structure, character arcs, thematic arcs. i was harder on myself than i've ever been. and if i hadn't had that end goal in sight i don't know if i would have made it through all those iterations—storyboarding, drafting, rewriting, editing. wanting to deliver that moment powered me through any amount of frustration/exhaustion/bewilderment.

wow this post sounds almost normal. nothing about this experience was normal. which is why you're getting a part 2.

#sorry op for hijacking your ask for my own personal catharsis #extremely long post #rubicon #writing #ask

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michellethestan · 2 years

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Our Flag Means Jesus Christ Superstar

At C2E2 on Sunday, Con O'Neill shared that he and Taika both thought of Jesus Christ Superstar and the famously-charged relationship between Jesus and Judas in that show when thinking about the relationship between Ed and Izzy in Our Flag Means Death. (He also said they scream-sang to the soundtrack together on their first day in the makeup trailer and I would give my non-existent left nut for any footage of this event.)

Here's the video:

This set my brain on fire because I am an extreme and obnoxious lifelong Jesus Christ Superstar fan and one of the first goofy things I did in OFMD fandom was casting a JCS AU. As my brain burned, I started thinking about all of the parallels between JCS and OFMD.

So, presenting Way Too Much Thought about Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice's Rock Opera about the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ and David Jenkins' There's No Heterosexual Explanation for this Story of Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet! I am not at all religious, so if you're looking for any takes on whether or not Edward Teach is actually God, you've come to the wrong place. I am merely a woman with an English degree and too much time on my hands.

Since we all know the plot points of OFMD, I am going to do this by JCS song. If you're unfamiliar with JCS, the wiki is below. Basically, though, it is a rock opera about the days leading up to Jesus' crucifixion, released as a concept album in 1970. Eventually it was staged, there are two movies (ignore the awful 2000 version), John Legend was Jesus on the live TV version, it tours all over, and it is Incredibly Campy. The relationship between Jesus and Judas is famously charged, and different productions choose to take that to different levels.

I'm going to use the album songs (with one notable exception) and visuals from the 1973 movie.

At its core, I see JCS as being about the conflict between Judas and Mary Magdalene and their versions of an ideal Jesus. Sound familiar? It's telling Jesus' story, but it does so via the interpersonal and internal conflicts these two people had during the last days of his life.

Ed is Jesus - For years, he has been leading a movement. He has reached a moment where the masses are seeing him as a mythical figure, King of the Jews/Blackbeard, but he's not sure that is what he wants.

Izzy is Judas - Our guy's right hand man. He has been there since the start and sees himself as a protector as well as someone with an outside perspective on the hero. Izzy wants Ed to continue being the myth of Blackbeard because it is the way they will survive. Judas, conversely, wants Jesus to take it down a notch because he is becoming too much of a myth and that will get him killed.

Stede is Mary Magdalene - (I'm not a prostitute, mate!) The new person to the group, offering our hero a way forward that does not have the weight of the world on his shoulders. Stede offers Ed retirement and a soft life. Mary offers Jesus a soft and comfortable life as well, but it is one where he does take up the mantle as the Son of God.

(A Note before we get going. Both Our Flag Means Death and the 1973 Jesus Christ Superstar film star BIPOC actors: Taika Waititi as Blackbeard, Ben Vereen as Judas, and Yvonne Elliman as Mary Magdalene. This is fundamentally part of the stories the productions tell. People far more qualified than I have written about Edward Teach as a Maori man, the diverse OFMD cast, and about the diverse casting traditions in Jesus Christ Superstar. There is a deep dive to be written about the race of these six principle actors (and their supporting casts) and how that impacts these stories when JCS is read as an influence on OFMD. Without the qualifications to take that on, I am sticking essentially to song lyrics and script. I realize this is a huge gap in this analysis, and I would love for someone to help me fill it!)

We're skipping the Overture because it's just an overture and it is very good but still. You can listen to it if you want.

Heaven on their Minds

The show opens with Judas. Jesus, the apostles, Mary, and co. are together outside of Jerusalem, and Judas is concerned about the level of fame they are reaching and the danger Jesus is in from authorities.

Listen Jesus I don't like what I see.

All I ask is that you listen to me.

And remember, I've been your right hand man all along.

You have set them all on fire.

They think they've found the new Messiah.

And they'll hurt you when they find they're wrong.

Of course, the big difference here is that Judas wants Jesus to tone it down so he doesn't get hurt, whereas Izzy is trying to keep Ed as Blackbeard going so he doesn't get hurt.

What's the Buzz/Strange Thing Mystifying

The Apostles want to know what's happening. When are we leaving, who are we fighting, etc. While they bother Jesus, Mary is trying to comfort him.

Mary that is good,

While you prattle through your supper,

Where and when and who and how.

She alone has tried to give me

What I need right here and now.

Here we introduce the foil to Izzy/Judas. Almost immediately, with his finery and his lunacy, Stede offers Ed a different way of life.

You're a fucking lunatic and I like it.

We also get the first conflict between Mary and Judas, when Judas attacks Jesus for allowing Mary to comfort him.

It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying

That a man like you can waste his time on women of her kind.

Yes, I can understand that she amuses,

But to let her kiss you, stroke your hair, that's hardly in your line.

It's not that I object to her profession,

But she doesn't fit in well with what you teach and say.

It doesn't help us if you're inconsistent.

They only need a small excuse to put us all away.

Izzy, of course, immediately wants Stede out of the picture. He wants Stede out of the picture so badly he tries to sabotage them from the start. He doesn't respect Stede as a man or as a pirate, and is worried about what associating with Stede will do to Blackbeard's reputation.

Jesus stands up for Mary's presence, just like Ed decides they're staying on Stede's ship for now.

Who are you to criticize her?

Who are you to despise her?

Leave her, leave her, let her be now.

Leave her, leave her, she's with me now.

If your slate is clean, then you can throw stones.

If your slate is not, then leave her alone.

"Sorry not sorry." - Jesus/Ed.

Everything's Alright

Mary's first big number! She is soothing a stressed Jesus, offering him myrrh ointment (fine things!) and the idea that he deserves to be taken care of.

Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and anoint you.

Myrrh for your hot forehead, oh.

Then you'll feel

Everything's alright, yes, everything's fine.

And it's cool, and the ointment's sweet

For the fire in your head and feet.

Close your eyes, close your eyes

And relax, think of nothing tonight.

Of course, Judas doesn't want this version of Jesus. He wants to get back to their roots, sees the use of the ointment on Jesus as a waste, and doesn't like a version of Jesus that is the pampered son of God.

Woman your fine ointment, brand new and expensive

Should have been saved for the poor.

Why has it been wasted? We could have raised maybe

Three hundred silver pieces or more.

People who are hungry, people who are starving

They matter more than your feet and hair!

We see this most/first in the clothes-swap scene, where Izzy is just so disgusted by the idea of Ed being anything other than Blackbeard that he literally leaves. Jesus stands up for Mary against Judas and says she's staying and Judas has to deal with it. Ed stands up for Stede and says they're staying on the Revenge and Izzy just has to deal with it.

The clothes swap scene is not the only sequence where Stede comforts Ed, of course. Just as Mary takes it upon herself to comfort Jesus at pretty much every opportunity, Stede becomes that comfort for Ed. The panic attack after the Fuckery is Stede reassuring Ed that the weight of being Blackbeard does not have to be on his shoulders. He can relax and sleep well, because Stede sees the real him. He's willing to forget a whole entire murder plot for Ed.

And more! We have two concrete "fine things" being used for pleasure here - myrrh ointment and marmalade. Both Judas and Izzy see waste and carelessness where Mary and Stede see the value in indulgence. And both Judas and Izzy want the fine things gone for more practical things. Judas wants to sell the ointment to give the money to the poor, what he argues is Jesus' whole original message. The marmalade, of course, is taking the place of literal gunpowder that pirates need to, you know, survive.

I will also just point out that "marmalade" and "myrrh ointment" sound... not really very similar but at least both start with M.

This Jesus Must Die

The authorities in Jerusalem want this rabble-rouser Jesus out of the picture. They're very moody and discussing what to do with him, deciding that he needs to die to send a message. We don't really see this happening about Blackbeard until the very end of the show, but we can assume based on the whole Being A Notorious Pirate Thing that the English authorities would do anything to take him down.

The important thing here is that Ed and Jesus are both wanted men. Izzy/Judas and Stede/Mary are offering conflicting ways to stay alive. Both think they have the solution and are trying to woo their guys to their sides.

Hosanna and Simon Zealotes/Poor Jerusalem

First of all, these are bops. Just getting that out of the way. Hosanna is Jesus entering Jerusalem and Simon Zealotes/Poor Jerusalem is the masses worshipping him, basically. Our OFMD parallel is Blackbeard with his Nine Guns - The myth of the hero far outstrips the man at this point. But what is he going to do about it?

Jesus warns the worshippers that things are about to get bad. Blackbeard starts thinking maybe he'll steal Stede's identity and sail off into the sunset.

If you knew all that I knew, my poor Jerusalem,

You'd see the truth, but you close your eyes.

But you close your eyes.

While you live, your troubles are many, poor Jerusalem.

To conquer death, you only have to die.

You only have to die.

Hmmm what's that, Jesus? We have to die to get out of this? You don't say.

Pilate's Dream

Pilate has a premonition that he's about to go down in history as The Bad Guy who Killed Jesus. (Yup.)

Then I saw thousands of millions

Crying for this man.

And then I heard them mentioning my name,

And leaving me the blame.

Badminton declares he's going to get vengeance on some Cat Bandits.

On my honor, I’ll ride these “Cat Bandits” straight into hell.

There are people hunting down our hero, in other words.

The Temple

In this scene, Jesus finds that a temple is being used for basically everything other than worship and he flips his lid and clears all of the sinners out. It is Very Dramatic.

What happens next is what parallels to OFMD, though. After the heathens are cleared from the temple, Jesus is surrounded by people with leprosy begging him to heal them. It's eerie and A Lot.

See my eyes, I can hardly see.

See me stand, I can hardly walk.

I believe you can make me whole.

See my tongue, I can hardly talk.

See my skin, I'm a mass of blood.

See my legs, I can hardly stand.

I believe you can make me well.

See my purse, I'm a poor, poor man.

Will you touch, will you mend me Christ?

Won't you touch, will you heal me Christ?

Will you kiss, you can cure me Christ?

Won't you kiss, won't you pay me Christ?

Jesus tries his best to heal them, but ultimately panics.

There's too many of you...Don't push me.

There's too little of me...Don't crowd me.

Heal yourselves!

What does this have to do with Ed? I hope you're asking that since you've read this far. The beggars are... Calico Jack! And not because he is a walking embodiment of disease. This sequence represents Jesus making his choice - is he going to be Judas' version of Jesus or Mary's? Is he taking on the mantle of Son of God or is he going relax it a bit? Calico Jack is a similar turning point for Ed. Is he going to be the old Blackbeard, or is he going to stick with Stede? Jesus hasn't really made his choice here - he tries to fix the temple and heal everyone but he is still overwhelmed. Of course, we know what Ed chose.

Everything's Alright (Reprise)

A bop. A reminder that Stede and Mary are going to take care of their men. Thanks, Mary. Thanks, Stede.

I Don't Know How to Love Him

Just imagine Stede singing this about Ed. That's it, that's the comparison.

I don't know how to love him.

What to do, how to move him.

I've been changed, yes really changed.

In these past few days, when I've seen myself,

I seem like someone else.

I don't know how to take this.

I don't see why he moves me.

...

Yet, if he said he loved me,

I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.

I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.

I'd turn my head. I'd back away.

I wouldn't want to know.

He scares me so.

I want him so.

I love him so.

To elaborate a little, what's key here is Mary realizing that she is also being changed by loving Jesus and that they are on a path together now. She realizes that she is in awe of the myth of Jesus but in love with the man.

Damned for All Time/Blood Money

Judas turning in Jesus to the authorities. He's panicking. The only way to save Jesus is to give him up and hope that he is able to survive. He has even deluded himself into thinking that Jesus will actually be glad that he's made this decision.

Now if I help you, it matters that you see

These sordid kinda things are coming hard to me.

It's taken me some time to work out what to do.

I weighed the whole thing out before I came to you.

I have no thought at all about my own reward.

I really didn't come here of my own accord.

Just don't say I'm ... damned for all time.

I came because I had to; I'm the one who saw.

Jesus can't control it like he did before.

And furthermore I know that Jesus thinks so too.

Jesus wouldn't mind that I was here with you.

I have no thought at all about my own reward.

I really didn't come here of my own accord.

Just don't say I'm ... damned for all time.

Annas, you're a friend, a worldly man and wise.

Caiaphas, my friend, I know you sympathize.

Why are we the prophets? Why are we the ones

Who see the sad solution - know what must be done?

I have no thought at all about my own reward.

I really didn't come here of my own accord.

Just don't say I'm damned for all time.

Sound like someone we know?

The Last Supper

Oh here we go, things are heating up. Of course, The Last Supper is The Last Supper. The apostles have a lovely song about how they want to write everything down so people will talk about them when they die. That's a normal way to talk about your friend, right?

Fanfiction and the start of the Eucharist aside, The Last Supper is when Jesus announces to the team that he knows what they've been up to. He says that soon Peter will deny him and that he knows Judas has betrayed him.

Of course, when Izzy goes off to sell Ed out, Ed doesn't know it's happening because he is not a prophet. But I made this anyway because it works.

JESUS: Peter will deny me in just a few hours.

Three times will deny me,

And that's not all I see.

One of you here dining,

One of my twelve chosen

Will leave to betray me.

JUDAS: Cut out the dramatics!

You know very well who.

JUDAS: To think I admired you.

Well now I despise you.

This song also reinforces Judas' conviction that Jesus wants him to do this. Judas believes he is acting in both of their best interests and that turning Jesus in will stop the train and everything will be fine. Izzy truly believes that he is only selling out Stede. Stede has done something to his boss' brain, and once he's out of the picture Ed will go back to normal.

Gethsemane (I Only Want to Say)

Jesus leaves his sleeping apostles and goes off to, basically, freak out and yell at his dad who is God.

I only want to say,

If there is a way,

Take this cup away from me

For I don't want to taste its poison.

Feel it burn me,

I have changed.

I'm not as sure, as when we started.

After walking around yelling at Dad a bit, he gets it out of his system and gets back on track. This is where he chooses to be a martyr.

By accepting his martyrdom, he might be accepting Judas' betrayal on the surface, but he's actually accepting Mary's version of himself. The authorities aren't going to slap him on the wrist and let him go. They are going to kill him, as we all know. That is what Mary was actually pulling for, even though she didn't realize it at the time.

This is akin to when Ed calls for the Act of Grace. In that moment, Izzy's plan falls apart - calling the British isn't going to save Blackbeard, it's going to destroy him. And this is what Stede was actually pulling for, even though he didn't realize it at the time.

Alright, I'll die!

Just watch me die!

See how I die!

...

God, thy will is hard,

But you hold every card.

I will drink your cup of poison.

Nail me to your cross and break me,

Bleed me, beat me,

Kill me.

Take me, now!

Before I change my mind.

The Arrest

Judas, must you betray me with a kiss?

Judas famously kisses Jesus to identify him to the Roman soldiers. If you are Going For It in your production of Jesus Christ Superstar, this can be very lustful. This is a man who loves his hero giving him up to the people that have been chasing him, probably realizing as he does it that things are about to go Very Wrong but having no way to stop it.

Peter's Denial

People who saw Jesus being led away see Peter and Mary, and accuse Peter of being an accomplice of that rabble-rouser Jesus. He denies knowing him three times.

Welp.

Pilate and Christ

Oh, Pilate, if only you remembered your little premonition. This is basically a song just to explain why Pilate doesn't have jurisdiction over Jesus and is sending him to...

King Herod's Song (Try it and See)

This song is, in a word, chaotic. King Herod tells Jesus he'll spare his life if Jesus admits to calling himself King of the Jews. It's very campy. It's amazing.

Herod demands Jesus perform miracles, Jesus won't do it, and Herod sends him back to Pilate to deal with because he decides Jesus is a fraud. This one really doesn't match up in OFMD. Oh well!

Could We Start Again Please

Meanwhile, in the movie and on the stage, Peter and Mary lead a song freaking out about what's happening. They've realized this whole thing went too far and Jesus is about to be killed, and are asking to start over.

This is Stede realizing slowly at the Privateering Academy that he has ruined Blackbeard. This comes out of order in the shows, but I'm going by JCS order. So I'm also doing the gifs in JCS order instead of OFMD order.

I've been living to see you

Dying to see you but it shouldn't be like this

This was unexpected, what do I do now?

Oh, could we start again, please?

Could we start again, please?

I've been very hopeful so far

Now for the first time I think we're going wrong

Hurry up and tell me, this is all a dream

Or could we start again, please?

Could we start again, please?

I think you've made your point now

You've even gone a bit too far to get your message home

Before it gets too frightening, we ought to call a halt

So could we start again please?

Could we start again please?

Judas' Death

Of course, Izzy doesn't die, and Judas does. Dramatically, after first running back to the authorities and trying to undo what he did.

I don't believe he knows I acted for our good

I'd save him all this suffering if I could!

Don't believe ... our good ... save him ... if I could

Izzy may not die, but he certainly has a moment where he realizes Ed is giving everything up and his plan has failed. Izzy is forced to watch Ed sign away ten human years to the British, and it is because of what Izzy did.

Christ! I know you can't hear me

But I only did what you wanted me to

Christ! I'd sell out the nation

For I have been saddled with the murder of you

Even more tragically, Judas reprises Mary's "I Don't Know How to Love Him." Imagine Izzy singing this in a deleted scene where he watches Ed and Stede be rowed away from the Revenge.

I don't know how to love him

I don't know why he moves me

He's a man - he's just a man

He's not a king - he's just the same

As anyone I know

He scares me so

When he's cold and dead, will he let me be?

Does he love me too? Does he care for me?

Ow. Sorry Iz.

Trial Before Pilate

It's a trial. Before Pilate. Some other guys go on trial, maybe you've heard of them.

Jesus stoically accepts his punishments, first the 39 lashes and then the crucifixion. Ed is also stoic when he thinks he's the only one in trouble, and of course after Stede is in danger he's not so stoic. Mary isn't crucified, so that doesn't really line up, but it's still two trials. Not much else to say here, really.

Superstar

The Big Number!

This is our climax, Judas in heaven appearing to Jesus and asking him, was it worth it? Shouldn't you have listened to me and ditched that Mary lady? (And why did you decide to come down to earth when you did instead of in 1971 when we have mass media? And also, is Buddha all he's cracked up to be? (It was the 70s, what do you want.))

Episode 10, of course, has the confrontation between Izzy and Ed. Is it worth it, being Stede's version of you? Can you survive like this? Where is the real Blackbeard?

And, who is Blackbeard, anyway?

Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ,

Who are you? What have you sacrificed?

Jesus Christ Superstar,

Do you think you're what they say you are?

The Crucifixion

Also known as:

Obviously, Ed doesn't die, and Jesus, you know, famously does.

But Ed does bury the soft part of himself, Stede's part, in an effort to continue on as Blackbeard.

And, let's not forget, Jesus does also famously un-die.

Let's hope that bodes well for Ed in Season 2.

Final Thoughts

As I got to the end, I started thinking about the "winners" and "losers" in the Judas/Mary and Izzy/Stede conflicts, such as anyone can really be declared a winner when the end result is the willing self-destruction of the person they love.

Jesus is silent before Pilate and Herod, knowing that God's plan is playing out as was intended. Could he have changed it, had he listened to Judas? Could he have prevented Judas' fate had he filled his closest confidante in? But if he had done that, would Judas still have played the role he had to play? (I'm not a religious scholar so I don't have the slightest idea. I'm just a woman with an English degree and too much time to think about OFMD and Jesus Christ Superstar.) In turning away from Judas' warnings and accepting Mary's version of himself - the one that is allowed comfort and rest and to be "just a man" albeit briefly - Jesus accepts that he'll die. Then, after everything and not portrayed in this show, he comes back to life as Mary's version. Judas goes down in history as, well, Judas. (Not even going into what's happened to Mary's reputation because do I look like Dan Brown to you? She doesn't win, either, is all I'm saying.)

Then we have Ed, who quite literally sheds Izzy's version. He signs his pirate life away for ten human years in order to be allowed comfort, rest, and to be "Just Ed." Shaves his beard, kisses his man, makes a plan to run away. That's the "death" he accepted. It's even the "death" he tries to continue when he returns to the Revenge, only to be shaken back to "life" as Blackbeard by Izzy. Stede won briefly, but then Izzy gets a second shot. And we end with Ed reembodying the myth. I don't subscribe to the framing that Ed, Blackbeard, and The Kraken are different people - they're all facets of Edward Teach. Will his ultimate "resurrection" be an acceptance that the real Edward is some mix of all of these versions? With neither Stede nor Izzy the "winner" of that battle?

That's it!! "It."

If you read this far:

Thank you I love you

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did

Find me on twitter @ michellethestan

Let me know your thoughts about how this 1970s rock opera about Jesus is actually about gay pirates

If you have footage of Con and Taika singing Jesus Christ Superstar in a makeup trailer you have to give it to me as payment for this

#ofmd #ofmd meta #ofmd and jesus christ superstar #our flag means death #jesus christ superstar #con oneill done something to my brain #if anyone has footage of con and taika singing jesus christ superstar get at me #seriously #ofmd meets jcs #extremely long post #blackbeard #stede bonnet #ed teach #gentlebeard #izzy hands #con oneill #c2e2 #taika waititi

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