#they'll all make sure you receive the care you deserve
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Phone calls have been made! I have not cried in frustration while on the phone! This is a win.
I still can’t get anything filled before Thursday, though I have at least confirmed I will be RECEIVING them on Thursday, but I at least get where the issue is. (Either: There has in fact been a massive misunderstanding between the pharmacist and the person giving the instructions on how often it has to be taken, and calling the clinic while I’m at the pharmacy on Thursday to make sure everyone’s on the same page while I’m there to clarify ‘This means I need it refilled every twelve days, is this doable?’ should get us what we need, OR everyone does in fact understand that I’m on a prescription where I will go through a new box every twelve days, however, it cannot be filled every twelve days for whatever arbitrary bureaucratic reason, so I cannot take it as prescribed, in which case calling the clinic while I’m at the pharmacy on Thursday should make it clear that I have to be taking it three times a day logistically.)
(The person at the clinic who gives instructions believed the ones she gave were very clear and explicit. Given the previous instructions were at least ‘not clear enough NOT to confuse an autistic person whose memory is still spotty enough from all the Assorted Issues not to remember the doctor said to take it four times daily,’ I’m a bit skeptical, but I can also fully believe it’s a problem on insurance’s end and arbitrary limitations, so.)
Either way, come Thursday afternoon there WILL be both cromolyn and a gameplan so that I know how to take my meds to get them sustainably refilled. So there’s that.
#long post#medication#offering a new service to doctors and prescribers everywhere:#are your instructions clear enough for an autistic with mild brain fog to understand your intent?#if not then you might want to reword#offering a new service to health insurance policy makers everywhere:#you now have to try and get a medication for managing your chronic condition filled#it's okay that you don't have a chronic condition that requires constant medicating! You decided COVID is over and we can all just die.#you'll get it eventually.#I no longer have the grace in my heart not to wish on you what your actions have inflicted on millions of others#have fun with that. side note: seems like half the specialists in this field have some part of the trifecta themselves#they'll all make sure you receive the care you deserve
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i'll take care of you ~ jj maybank
my masterlist
You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. You reached our for it and when you saw who the caller was, you immediately sat up and answered it.
"Babe? What's wrong?"
JJ's heavy breath was the only thing you could hear.
"JJ? Is everything okay? What's going on?" you pressed, panic settling in your chest.
"Can I come over? I'll explain everything" his voice was so small, you could barely hear him.
"Of course you can, baby"
"I'll see you in 10 minutes" he said and hung up, not giving you a chance to say anything else.
It wasn't weird to get phone calls from JJ in the middle of the night, but he was never this distressed. Your mind started coming up with all kinds of scenarios, one worse than the other.
The 10 minute wait seemed like forever before you heard the all too familiar knock on your window.
You immediately jumped and opened it, being met with the bloody and bruised smiling face of your boyfriend.
"What happened to your face?" you asked while helping him enter your room without making too much noise to wake up your parents.
"Nothing serious, it's fine. Doesn't hurt as bad as it looks" he shrugged his shoulders and laid back on your bed.
You stood rooted in your spot, staring at him. You knew where the bruises came from all too well, but it didn't help that JJ was still trying to hide them from you.
"J, please just tell me the truth" your voice was small, knowing that JJ couldn't deal with screams and anger.
"I am, it's nothint that hasn't happened before. I'm used to it, it's fine" he was now sitting up, patting the spot next to him.
You bit your lip but complied and sat down, putting your right hand on his knee.
"I'm sorry you have to go through this, baby" tears started streaming down your cheeks by now, sobs fighting their way out of your body.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, it's just how he is. He's not always like this, you know, he has his good moments" the fact that he still tried to defend his dad, beaten to a pulp by him, brought even more tears and sadness in you.
"You don't deserve this, baby. Nobody should ever lay a finger on you, let alone a hand. You deserve so much better" you rested your head against his shoulder, squeezing his knee in comfort.
He brought a hand down to his knee and took hold of yours. You interlocked your fingers and squeezed, knowing how much JJ needed to feel you there with him.
"I have you, and that's all I need. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not your fault" he whispered, kissing your forehead.
"Please let me take care of you. I'll talk to my parents and see if you can stay here for a while. They can even become your legal guardians until you turn 18. I know they'll do it, and you'll finally have a safe place that you could call home" the idea seemed so simple and easy for you, but it seemed like such a stretch to JJ.
"I can't ask you or your parents to do that, babe. Being a burden to your family is the last thing I want to do" he tried to reason with you, but you weren't having it.
"No, you listen to me. I am not letting you go back home, JJ. My parents love you and I know they are going to want to help you. Please don't push me away, let me help you" you were basically begging him at this point, but you didn't care.
Nobody deserved the life that he had, and you'll be damned if his father touched him one more time. You were going to do everything in your power to make sure he'd never received another punch or insult from his dad ever again.
"Okay" he finally whispered after a while, chewing on his bottom lip.
You let out a big sigh of relief you didn't know you were holding and wrapped him in your arms, silent tears falling down your face.
He buried his head in your neck, taking in your familiar scent and warm hold.
He finally felt like things could finally take a turn for the better. Like he would get a new chance at life.
All because of you.
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Headcanons for Zev and Rolan to tide you all over until I can nail down a plot for the poll winner fic.
How they take care of Tav
🎇Rolan🎇
The grumpy wet cat of a man is a little less grumpy and wet when Tav is tired or hurting.
If they're returning home after a long road full of fights and sleepless nights, Rolan takes a gentle approach.
After making sure they have something to eat and drink in front of them, he's drawing them a hot bath.
If they return with more severe injuries, then God's help Tav.
Scolding and fussing, cursing, and name calling.
He does it out of love, we know this.
Still feeds them and draws them a bath.
Helps remove their armor, all the while tutting and making aggravated comments about "always playing hero" or "can't go a day without a fight" even though tav knows he doesn't mean it.
Once they're in the bath, he sits beside the tub
He'd like to join him, but the tub isn't that big, and when there are two people, his tail gets painfully twisted
He talks them into comfort, what Cal and Lia have been up to, how things are at the tower, and stories about the threw siblings growing up.
Uses his long, glorious nails to really help scrub Tav's hair.
Purposely dumps the water over their head to help rinse without letting them cover their eyes.
Immediately feels bad when they yelp in pain.
Coos and helps rinse it out, pretending be just wasn't thinking.
After the bath wraps them in soft sleeping clothes and puts them to bed (mother hen, who?)
When Tav asks if he's joining them he replies "now now, I've got things to do. You sleep, I'll be back later."
And he does, once Tav is sleeping.
He watches then for a moment before sighing at their bruised Visage and whispering things about "my poor angel'
Curls up behind them, holding them tight.
Tails wrapped around their leg and arms squeezing them.
Falls asleep beside them, holding them like he can protect them from the life they've chosen.
⚜️Zevlor⚜️
Has almost certainly been either on the road with his beloved Tav or staying in their camp
He knows he said he'd like to retire in the city, but once he realized he loved someone who was such a menace to their own health, those plans went right out the window.
Fighting by their side is part of his way of showing care. Watching their back, shielding them from harms way, even if they scold him for it later.
His approach to love and care is so much more obvious than Rolan's.
Constant loving stares and words of affirmation, reverence to the person who dared show him kindness and love that he though he didn't deserve.
And when the day is done and a browbeaten Tav returns to him, he's got a hand on their back or an arm around their waist in an instant, leading them to the fire to eat and relax.
Watches carefully as he makes sure they eat least one full serving of their meal. Tail wagging in pleasure when they do.
Humming old Eltural lullabies while helping them clean up by whatever stream or river is near.
Brushing their hair is his favorite.
Once in their tent, he's pulling blankets over Tav and urging them to sleep. Strokes their hair until they are.
Stays up after they're resting, watching them, watching the camp for danger, enjoying the stars.
When exhaustion finally wins, he's back in the tent, curling up in a protective little ball by their side closer to the tents entrance so if anyone tries to get in they'll trip over him and wake Tav.
If Tav is ever severely injured, Avernus take this man, he is a wreck.
That face he makes when the guy gets shot by goblins in the Grove? That immediately followed by tears and sobs.
Even if it's not life-threatening, he's on this knees at their side and begging them not to go.
The most careful and methodical medical treatment Tav has ever received followed by the most protective and clingy Zev there's ever been.
He insists on doing everything for them now. He won't let them in harms way again.
Just a sad, overprotective, DILF of a paladin who loves his Tav.
#zevlor#bg3#baulders gate 3#bg3 zevlor#bg3 rolan#bg3 tav#zevlor x tav#zevlor/tav#rolan x tav#rolan/tav#bg3 headcanons#sad paladin man#angry fussy wizard
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we just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time
note: loosely based on the vibes of the song for the first time by the script. starts with an argument. reader and leona both are pretty harsh here but they'll get there eventually. ♡ this took me two days and idk what possessed me but I really like how this fic turned out and I appreciate comments or asks about it. ♡
contains: leona kingscholar x gn!reader, relationship development, angst to fluff, fighting and making up, bonding experiences
word count: 7.6k words
warnings: argument, leona's crippling depression, some hurtful things have been said
dark content creators & consumers do not interact
It was the middle of the winter holidays and Night Raven College was probably as quiet as it could be. You had left behind the festivities of late December and for now you decided to take some time to focus on yourself and rest up before school would resume in about a week. On a particularly cold Friday evening you had made yourself some pasta for dinner and laid down in bed after putting away the dishes. The night sky was clearer tonight than it had been for a while and your room was lit up only by the stars and the dim light of the magical ignis fatuus lamp on your nightstand. You took out your phone and checked the messages your friends had left you; keeping you updated on the presents they had received and the activities they engaged in during their well-deserved vacation.
You didn’t know if it was just a whim or the fact that you may or may not have missed a certain someone…but you eventually decided to reach out to Leona to check up on him. You remembered how annoyed he had sounded when you saw him leave for his homeland through the dark mirror. It was no secret that the second prince of Sunset Savannah was anything but keen on going back to the palace over the winter holidays. His abrasive behavior was quite off-putting sometimes and you had to admit it made you hesitate sometimes to reach out to him even though you wanted to. You were long past the point of considering Leona your friend. His perspective on the matter, however? A mystery to you.
It could just be that you were a nuisance to him. That he didn’t necessarily dislike you but rather had you minding your own business instead. Or maybe that was just the way he was. You found him hard to read sometimes; never knowing whether a question would get you a snarky comment or a calm and serious answer. Leona was more than capable of both. Still, especially after his overblot and having seen a glimpse of how he was feeling inside, you had decided to push your pride away for a while and put some effort into being his friend; even if he had a tendency to push everyone away. You presumed it was because at least, if he pushed people away, he was the one who’d have the last word. He could retain the reputation of someone who simply didn’t care, rather than risking to be seen as someone who just wasn’t wanted. You didn’t know how much Leona was aware of the extent of his feelings that he divulged while in an overblotted state. It was probably best if he remained largely unaware.
Still, you decided to shoot him a quick “Hey, how are you doing?” over your messaging service. Leona didn’t seem very busy at the moment, as his answer came not soon after. “Oi, herbivore, what do you want?”, he texted back.
“Just wanted to know how you’re enjoying your winter holidays so far. I haven’t heard from you in a while. Thought I’d text you so close to the new year to check how you’re doing. You didn’t seem too pleased to go back to the palace after all”, you replied. Leona shifted his position on his bed, staring at the words on his phone for a while. His expression darkened a little. The fuck did it matter to you how he was doing?
It wasn’t particularly well, that was for sure, but you didn’t have to know that. However, Leona didn’t really feel like talking at all. Contrary to how easily he could try to sleep away his problems for a while when he was at Night Raven College, they seemed to always catch up to him when he was back home. He hadn’t slept in 48 hours; not since the annoying political gathering Farena had dragged him to on Wednesday. His days consisted of laying in bed and trying to avoid his brother’s nagging and Cheka’s attempts at playing games with him as best as he could; trying to get some sleep but consistently failing to. He let out a bitter laugh, wondering what Ruggie would think if he saw him like this. The hyena beastman had tried multiple times to get him out of bed after Leona had slept for more than 10 hours and failed miserably. And now Leona couldn’t even take a nap for a couple of hours.
“Yeah, it sucks, dunno if that’s the answer you expected”, Leona typed and ran a hand through his dark hair, slumping back into the pillow and holding the phone above his face, “there’s nothin’ to do here except fancy crap and arguing with my brother, the beloved king. Only good thing is my personal chefs; their food is fantastic as usual.” Leona held his head in pain, the headache from the sleep deprivation getting to him more and more. He turned the brightness of the phone down and reached for another painkiller on the nightstand, downing the medication with a glass of water.
You had no idea of the beastman’s predicament; comfortably resting under the covers of your own bed. “Let me guess, you’re eating nothing but meat again?”, you chuckled and clicked on ‘send’.
“Heh. The chef told me I need to eat more greens. I told ‘em I’d rather starve than touch some leaves and eat like a herbivore.”
You rolled your eyes. He always had such an attitude. The poor chefs were probably just doing their best to keep their prince healthy. “Classic Leona”, you replied with a chuckle, “do you plan on handing your essays in after the holidays this time? We don’t want you to repeat another year.” You remembered how Ruggie had teased him that if he didn’t pass his finals again, they’d be in the same class from next year on. Leona furrowed his brows and rolled his eyes. As if he didn’t have other things to worry about than schoolwork at the moment. What idiot even came up with the idea of giving students homework over the holidays?
“You sound like Farena”, you got your next answer, “‘You need to pass this class’, ‘You need to get better grades’, ‘What are the citizens gonna say if Prince Leona can’t even graduate from school?’ Gimme a break. Ugh. Can’t a guy take a vacation? I don’t wanna worry about stupid essays now.”
You sighed. “You’ve pretty much taken a vacation since the school year began…you’re hardly attending classes because you’re always nappin’ somewhere in the greenhouse”, you turned on the light of your room, knowing this conversation was likely not taking a pleasant turn anytime soon, “I’m sorry I remind you of your brother. But I’m not saying this to pester you. If I didn’t give a shit about you, I’d have long since ignored you.” It was true. You hardly would have bothered with him if he hadn’t grown on you overtime. And if it weren’t for the feelings you secretly harbored for him; getting stronger with every passing day. Most people would have probably advised you against falling for Leona. But it was not like that was something you could control. Sometimes you felt like it wasn’t a good idea at all to keep trying to stick around when he wasn’t willing to let you in. But there were moments where Leona was one of the most pleasant people to be around; regardless of how much your classmates would have raised their eyebrows at you for admitting that. He was calm, honest and all the shallow things people around you were obsessing over, Leona was hardly interested in. His demeanor was refreshing sometimes and his jokes were funny. But on other occasions he just had to be so difficult. The worst part was that you knew he could do better. But on most days he wasn’t even willing to try.
Meanwhile Leona wondered what your reason was for reaching out to him if you were just going to lecture him anyway like everyone else did. Why didn’t you just let him mind his business and leave him alone? It wasn’t that Leona was annoyed with your presence. He too felt quite comfortable around you most of the time. But you had the same criticisms for him as everyone else did. And even though he knew deep down you were right; he just kept standing in his own way. It was frustrating sometimes, but he hardly had the energy to do the 180° turn others expected from him. He felt inadequate. Especially for you. What was he expecting from you anyway? That you’d love him and choose him over everyone else you knew? All the people who were responsible and had their lives figured out? So for the sake of his pride he did the one thing he knew best how to do: Keep pushing you away.
“Fineee, I’ll turn in my essay. I’ll go to class. I’ll even go find some herbivore friends just to humor ya”, he shut you down and it was evident from his phrasing that he was hardly serious, “now shut up and let me go back to sleep for a bit, eh?” He ignored the twinge of guilt in his heart for being so rude to you; who had been nothing but kind to him since the year started. What did he care for anyway? He felt like his emotions were getting the better of him; all the frustration and anger and hopelessness of the past few days creeping into his mind like a shadow that was taking hold of him. He reached for the lamp on the nightstand; knowing full-well he probably wouldn’t be able to take the nap he told you he’d take under these conditions; knocking the glass of water to the floor in the process. “Ah shit”, he groaned, sinking back into the bedsheets. He supposed he could clean that up tomorrow. Or get one of the staff members to do it for him. He just hoped Farena wouldn’t lecture him about it. That’s how far you’ve come, huh? Don’t even have the energy to pick some glass shards up. Pathetic.
He tried to push down that voice inside him as best as he could, putting his phone aside and burying his face in his pillow to muffle the quiet sobs that he couldn’t stop from escaping him. Though he doubted anyone would hear them anyway. There was another small gathering in the garden below his window and he could hear the upbeat music and some of the chatter from the guests. At least his attendance wasn’t required for today’s event. Leona hated crying. He hated how vulnerable and weak it made him feel. He’d much rather lie to himself and convince himself that he really didn’t give a damn and just enjoyed being lazy and provoking the people around him. In those moments, somewhere deep inside his heart, Leona wished for someone to be there for him. But it wasn’t like anyone out there cared; they were busy with their small garden party to honor his homeland’s coexistence with nature. And you? You had reached out to him and asked him how he was and Leona just couldn’t have given you a normal answer. Instead, he just pushed you away to guarantee that you’d probably stop caring about him too. Your newest message confirmed his suspicions, reading: “Fine. Whatever.”
You were tired of the constant back and forth. You had reached out to him with good intentions and care and this was what you got in return. Maybe it truly was time to leave Leona Kingscholar behind for good and make sure you wouldn’t have to deal with interactions like these on a peaceful night. This was exactly why you had hesitated to text him anything. But instead of taking his nap, Leona replied back. You had the feeling he wouldn’t do that if he had no interest in talking to you whatsoever.
“You really gotta learn to lighten up a little. Not everything’s all serious, ya know? Sometimes a nap is just a nap”, he tried to de-escalate the anger he caused with his previous messages; attempting to play it off as just his usual demeanor and nothing personal. What he didn’t get at the moment was how much that played down your own feelings and words.
You rolled your eyes, debating whether you should just log off and leave him to his own thoughts. Maybe that was for the better. You sighed. “You didn’t have to start it with ‘shut up’”, you answered, just hoping anything you said wouldn’t make things even worse.
Leona had gotten up from the bed and sat down near the window, gazing out onto the garden; wishing anyone at that gathering would actually care about his thoughts regarding the development of his homeland. The cheerful laugh he could hear from Farena and his guests filled him with a sense of anger so strong that it hurt nobody but himself. He felt stressed; just wanted to finally go to sleep and actually manage to drift off into the land of dreams. But life seemed to have other plans for him. He had gotten himself into a fight with you, one of the only people who seemed to genuinely care about his feelings; the royal court was just proceeding with their schedule as if he was nothing but a ghost sometimes lingering at them and he knew he had to do the damn essays if he wanted to pass this time.
“Yeah, you’re right. I should’ve said something more polite like ‘I’m trying to get some shut-eye here, would you kindly shut up so I can rest peacefully?’ or perhaps ‘Excuse me but I have some slumber to catch up on, would you please cease talking so I can focus on that?’ Better?”, Leona snapped, his expression darkening.
His rude behavior and disrespectful reaction to you just trying to be nice to him frustrated you. So much so, that you waved the idea of being polite and holding back your thoughts about the matter a friendly goodbye. If it’s a fight he wanted, he can have one, you thought with a bitter mood. So you replied something you knew you probably should not have said.
“And this is why people don’t put you first.”
Your words stung. You hit him right where it hurt and both of you knew that. The crying that had stopped, resumed again as tears ran down Leona’s cheeks. He knew he got himself into this mess but admitting that seemed like the hardest thing for him right now. Not with how angry you had made him over the past 30 minutes.
“Because I’m sarcastic? Wow. Really settin’ the bar high there. Not everyone needs to be a happy-go-lucky sunshine boy, ya know?”, Leona replied with a spiteful feeling in his chest, “maybe I just express myself differently. What do you care ‘bout it?”
Okay, we’re really doing this, are we? You took a deep breath and shook your head.
“The problem is that you’re rude as fuck and then you’re complaining about only ever being the second choice. Yeah, sure, it sucks for you that you can’t be king or win the Magift tournament against Malleus; I get that; but everything else is your own doing”, you reached a point where you weren’t holding back your thoughts anymore, “you’re literally not even letting people be nice to you. That’s like, the bare minimum. I’ve been trying to be your friend for the whole school year and sometimes you’re really pleasant to be around but other times you’re just taking your bad moods out on people who care about you and I’m tired of it. I tried. I really did. But you push everyone away and then you go sulk in your bed about how no one understands you.”
“I don’t need you to care about me”, a lie and a pretty damn pathetic one; Leona knew that. But he was in the wrong headspace at the wrong time and on top of everything else, he was panicking because he felt like you were close to abandoning him. And this time it would be his own fault.
“Goodbye Leona. See you in school, I guess.”
Leona frantically started typing again; not feeling like he’d be able to tolerate the silence. To just be left alone with his thoughts again. To have lost you.
“Fine, fine. I’ll be there. I’ll be the best prince ever. Good, hardworking, loyal, reliable…then everyone will love me, huh?”, he let out a bitter laugh, clutching the pillow he was holding, “is that what you wanted?”
His response was as sarcastic as ever but he was in luck that you were not one to just let him put words into your mouth.
“No”, you texted back, having calmed down a little and gotten yourself a tea, “I just want you to at least be respectful towards the people who care about you and not lash out at us like this. That’s literally all I ask for. Ruggie and I stuck around even through your stupid overblot and all your depressive episodes where you locked yourself in your room and slept for 14 hours as if that’s gonna solve anything.”
Under normal circumstances, Leona would have been a lot more careful with his words. He was hardly one to even remotely talk about his feelings; always keeping them to himself to make sure no one had anything they could use against him. But the sleep-deprivation, emotional distress and headache put him in a state of mind where he was a lot more honest and open than he intended to be.
“Oh? It must be a real burden on you that I’m not just one of those happy, energetic herbivores, huh? If I was nice and polite; if I just did what I was told, everything would be fine, wouldn’t it?”, he could hardly even still see the screen as his vision got too blurry, “then you wouldn’t have to be burdened with being nice to someone like me….someone who can’t even smile genuinely. Someone like me should just disappear, right?”
As soon as he sent that, he wanted to take it back. This was too much. More than he ever wanted to let you know. He had given you a glimpse into his heart and he was certain that this had been a grave mistake. And simultaneously it made you realize what was really going on here.
Oh god, he’s not doing well at all…shit. You realized Leona hadn’t reacted this way towards you because he hated your presence or saw you as an annoyance…this was his own self-doubt talking and he obviously was not okay right now. You saw that now.
“Leona…that’s not what I’m saying at all…did something happen at the palace? You’re a bit of an asshole sometimes, but it’s usually never this bad…you okay?”, you messaged him and Leona let out a bitter laugh. Even through all this…even after how rude he had been to you and how hard he had tried to push you away, your first response to his accidental self-deprecating talk in the heat of the moment was to worry about him. You deserve better…, he thought.
“Listen, I don’t expect you to smile or be happy all the time or do what you’re told”, you continued, “and I’m sorry you feel the way you do. I understand and I respect your feelings. You don’t have to be all smiles and super friendly to everyone or fulfill anyone’s expectations. Just don’t let your anger and frustrations out on your friends. Hell, i don’t know, rant to us about how much life sucks or whatever; maybe we’ll end up with a bitter joke about it or something….anything’s better than this.”
He had to admit that…did sound more pleasant. You weren’t done yet.
“I’ll be there even if you’re not feeling well. Even if that lasts weeks or months at a time. But if you don’t give me the basic respect and kindness a friend deserves, then I’m out”, you added, “and I’d never want you to disappear, Leona. That’s the furthest thing from the truth.”
Leona remained silent for a moment. Minutes passed by and you were wondering whether he’d even reply at all. It had started to rain outside and for whatever reason the thunder seemed to calm you down. You put your phone aside and tried to distract yourself by reading a book you grabbed from the school library. After a while, you heard the notification sound of your phone again. You checked the display to see a new message from Leona.
“...heh. You really got me down to a t, didn’t ya?”, it read, “Sorry if I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to. I’m just tired. Tired of all the things I have to do, tired of always being second pick, tired of being angry. I guess I took it out on you and that was wrong. I apologize for my rudeness.”
You knew it took a lot for Leona to ever apologize for anything. He had decided to swallow his pride for the sake of fixing the mess he made. You were exhausted from the fight and this was the first time you had heard him apologize to you for being rude. It had never been this bad before; but Leona could be quite dismissive on a regular basis. You had more to say but it was probably best for you to indulge him for now and let him rest and calm down.
“Thank you. Wanna talk about what happened?”, you asked.
Leona hesitated for a moment. He remembered the gathering two days ago. Farena had pressured him into attending; saying the whole royal family was expected to be there. So Leona had begrudgingly put on the tight, fancy clothing and sat at the dinner table with dozens of politicians and investors. He heard them talk to his older brother and the queen about the current status quo in Sunset Savannah; even acknowledging Cheka as the heir to the throne. But Leona? Leona was meant to sit there for the whole evening and look pretty. Farena shot him a glare when he attempted to take out his phone to distract himself; as it was not proper etiquette for a prince.
Leona couldn’t remember anyone but his own family members having attempted to talk to him that night. No one had cared about his opinions or the fact that he was even there. For all the talk about how crucial it was that the whole royal family attended, Leona sure felt like an extra at the event. There were many investors who were advocating for a better infrastructure and to develop more parts of the country aside from the capital; making use of its natural resources to achieve a bigger state of welfare. Leona had many thoughts on the matter. He had visions and ideas on how to make them happen. He did care. But it didn’t matter what the loathed second prince said about any of this. Farena would probably scold him for trying to butt into the official state affairs. Not that it mattered whether he said anything or not. His brother’s opinions and his own differed greatly; that much he knew. He’d never listen to any ideas Leona brought to the table. He had tried often enough.
So all Leona did was sit there and listen. Not saying a word; just holding his tongue when he had so many thoughts wanting to be said. He listened to everyone else; let everything happen whether he agreed with their decisions or not. Eventually he just blended the voices out, concentrating solely on trying to keep his act together when his facade was threatening to crack because it occurred to him just how much he didn’t matter. Cheka had tried to climb onto his uncle’s lap and show him a bracelet he crafted, expecting a response from Leona. He knew he had to react somehow. He couldn’t just ignore when someone was talking to him; especially not with so many people right next to him. But he feared, were he to say something now, his voice would crack and he’d break.
So he took all his strength to keep it together, gently placed Cheka on the ground again and walked over to his brother, excusing himself and saying he was feeling sick. Not a lie technically.
Leona took a deep breath before replying to you.
“No, I’d rather not. That’s…my own personal life, y’know?”, he answered, “I’ll stop being such an angry prick towards you and Ruggie all the time. I guess I needed that wake-up call, harsh as it was. At least I know you’re not one to lie to my face, heh. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to try to catch up on some shut-eye. I’ll talk to you later.”
You leaned back with a slight smile on your face. That was a lot more genuine than what you were used to from Leona. Maybe it was just your imagination, but you were beginning to feel like, bizarre as it was, today had brought you closer to one another. That Leona had reached a new level of trust towards you he didn’t have before.
“Heh…see, that’s much better than ‘shut up and let me take a nap’”, you replied with a relieved smile, “get some rest, Leona. Hope you’ll feel better afterwards. ❤️”
“Did you just send me a heart emoji?”
“That was an accident. Go to sleep. :)”
Leona realized he had a smile on his face. He chuckled, burying his had in his hands. You were really getting to him, huh? You had said a couple of things that really stung and yet somehow at the end of the day he treasured you enough to smile at a sign of affection from you. I better make sure to treat ‘em properly from now on, he mused and smirked, laying down on his bed again. He wondered if you actually had feelings for him or something of the sort. Somehow with the thought of you on his mind, he fell asleep easily, relieved you were able to sort things out. And he was already looking forward to talking to you again…
You didn’t hear from Leona again for at least half a day. You were already suspecting that the sleepy lion may not have gotten any sleep at all lately, so you were glad he was resting. What you didn’t expect was for Leona to call you when he woke up. He’s calling? That’s a new one.
“Mornin’ Herbivore”, his voice was raspy and was cracking slightly. He sounded a little bit like he had cried but you didn’t dare to comment on it. “It’s 3pm. Sleep well?”, you chuckled and had a smile on your face again. “Hmm, I’ve had better nights but yeah”, he responded, rubbing his eyes and running a hand through his hair, “sorry again about last night. I had a bit of a moment there…I’ll do better. If you forgive me that is. But only if you wanna. I was kind of an ass.” Leona turned on the camera of his phone and so did you. He gave you a triumphant grin when he saw how your reaction to seeing his face was just smiling instantly.
You sighed. “It’s fine. You’re lucky I like you. You’re an acquired taste.”
Leona chuckled. “I’m glad my terrible sleep schedule and awful personality can be considered an acquired taste in this day and age”, he winked at you. You let out a laugh. You looked at Leona’s calm expression; the way his hair looked messy and his ears twitched a little. He was wearing a simple black t-shirt and you thought he looked absolutely ethereal. You had to admit you missed him.
“Okay, you made me laugh, I give you that”, you chuckled and grinned at him, “feeling better?”
“A bit”, Leona answered, “Thank ya for being so patient with me. You’re a real one. I guess I’m just used to people not sticking around long enough to deal with my bullshit…..it feels weird….having someone care.” Something had definitely changed inside Leona. He was still weirdly genuine about his feelings. Maybe he was also still very exhausted.
“Well, you’re in luck. I’m really stubborn and I always want to have the last word. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. Even if you hiss at me like a feral housecat”, you teased him. “Heh”, he laughed and you could see his ears move along with the rising and falling of his chest, “fine, I won’t try to get rid of ya then. Still gonna be a bit of a prick tho. Maybe I will start hissing at people. Make a reputation for myself. The hissing prince of Sunset Savannah.”
The two of you laughed and Leona ran a hand through his hair, trying to adjust it somehow. “You know what? You just gave me my first real laugh of this week”, he gave you a genuine smile and you could tell he was feeling better, “normally I don’t hang around herbivores that much. But I like ya. Thanks for stickin’ with me.”
You gave him a kind smile. “See? You’re pretty fun when you’re not being an asshole. And I assure you, you already have a reputation. Not a particularly good one, but it’s certainly….something.”
Leona chuckled and excused himself for a moment to open the blinds on his window. He put his phone aside and all you heard from him was a sharp hiss of pain and him cursing under his breath. “The fuck happened?”, you looked at him with concern once he was back. “Stepped in glass shards”, he mumbled as if that explained anything. “Why the hell are there glass shards on your floor?” “Ancient royal trial that every member of the royal family has to go through at some point in their lives”, he commented dryly and you were pretty sure he was making this up.
“Anyway, you should probably get first aid for that”, you raised an eyebrow. “Alright”, Leona smirked, seeming as tough as ever, “don’t miss me too much.” He winked at you before ending the call. He’s certainly growing bold now, hmm? You laughed and went to make yourself some food, awaiting his return eagerly.
It took about 30 minutes for Leona to return and start making fun of you for worrying about him so much. “I’m not made of glass, y’know?”, he smirked, “I just step in it sometimes.”
You sigh and put your friend on speaker, tending to your kitchen appliances once more. “Did you get first-aid for your injury?”, you asked, throwing some carrots, broccoli and zucchini into the mixer. “Yeah. Staff bandaged my foot and told me to be more careful. Got a whole lecture because they’re so considerate”, Leona rolled his eyes and then cringed at the sudden loud whirring, “fuck is that noise, herbivore?” “Oh…sorry”, you apologized and turned the mixer off, “I’m making a soup. Noticed I haven’t had lunch yet today.”
“Ew with like, vegetables and shit?”, Leona shook his head in disappointment. You chuckled. “Yes, not everyone has the strength and insanity it takes to attempt to solely live off meat”, you teased.
“Anyway, to get back to our conversation from before, it’s nice to know I have a reputation for something, heh. Even if it’s just that”, Leona chuckled, “I don’t get people sometimes. ‘Ugh, he’s so pretty! Too bad he’s a jerk!’ Why do people keep sayin’ that? Am I supposed to be flattered or pissed?”
You laughed. “Well, I think they’re having a crisis because they’re attracted to a guy whose personality is like a matryoshka doll where you’re kinda intimidated to take off another layer because you’re not sure if it’s gonna get better or worse.”
Leona snorted. “Okay, that was a fun analogy, I’m not even gonna be mad. I’ll remember that one”, he smirked, “so, given that you have first-hand experience now, do you have the feeling it’s getting better? Or worse?” So he’s acknowledging that he’s opening up to me more than he did before, you pondered and smiled, that’s good. “Better”, you admitted, “now I know I didn’t go that wrong with giving you a chance. Anyway, what do you do all day over there?”
“Oh, nothin’ much”, Leona shrugged, “sleeping…trying to sleep, avoiding my nephew, avoiding my brother, avoiding the chamberlains, playing chess against a computer…when I arrived I drove around a bit and stopped by Elephant Legacy to take a bath in the secluded hot springs only the royal family has access to. I guess that counts for doing somethin’”
“And you made fun of Idia for being a shut-in?”, you raised an eyebrow. “I also nap outside, that disqualifies me from being a shut-in”, Leona grinned, absentmindedly playing with an old yoyo he got from a market when he was 7, “but yeah it’s pretty boring. Night Raven College is a little more interesting.”
After a week of hardly doing anything, Leona had to admit he was growing quite bored of the winter holidays. You didn’t have many plans either, so that was how the two of you ended up playing online chess. “God, with that strategy or lack thereof you have, your king is gonna be down in less than five minutes”, Leona held his head in second-hand embarrassment and reached for a glass of water to take a sip. “Oh so you think you’re close to losing?”, you smirk and heard Leona choke on his water, coughing frantically. Did you really just call him your king?, he thought with a surprised expression, his ears laid back against his head.
“What’s the matter, Leona?”, you asked and he could hear your teasing tone through the speaker, “did I perhaps fluster you?” You were really playing with fire today, huh? Leona smirked. He didn’t admit it, but he did absolutely like that. “Why don’t ya focus on your shitty ass playstyle instead, you just lost the best piece you still had on the board”, he hissed back, his tail swishing back and forth. “I didn’t see your queen there”, you whined. “What do you mean, you didn’t see it there? It was literally right next to where you were standing-”, Leona shook his head and held it with his hand, “I don’t even know where to start with this one…”
As the day went on, you got Leona to play a couple of other online board games with you, mostly luck-based ones because you insisted you were “good at them”. He also agreed to teach you some chess strategies, arguing that even with knowing them you wouldn’t be able to beat him. He never let you win. Not once.
He had to admit that your company brought him amusement and joy. That you distracted him from the problems he was worrying about. So he didn’t mind spending his days with you. He was looking forward to seeing you again at Night Raven College.
“Leona, it’s your turn. Leona?”, you asked when he wasn’t responding. It was already evening and the sun had set. You could hear soft breathing and some light snores coming from the phone. You smiled and closed the game the two of you were playing. Something inside you didn’t have the heart to just hang up on him. So you put your phone aside and went to bed yourself, feeling somehow closer to Leona this way.
He woke up with surprise upon finding out you were still there. He wondered whether that was intentional or not. He quickly pushed away the idea of waking up beside you; of pulling you into his arms and falling back asleep in the comfort of the blankets and your warmth. Leona pouted when he noticed the smile on his face. Then, upon having another fantastic idea, his expression turned into a mischievous smirk as he made his way over to the wardrobe where he had hidden a plastic aerophone that he confiscated from Cheka after the latter had attempted to “play a song” for him and followed him through the entire palace. He sat down next to where his phone was laying on the bed and blew into the cheap instrument; causing it to emit sounds with a terribly loud volume. He stopped just in time to hear the angry “WHAT THE FUCK, LEONA????” from your side of the call. “Rise and shine, herbivore”, you could hear him snicker. “You’re such an asshole”, you muttered.
The days went by fast when you had each other’s company. Leona kept you updated on what was happening at the palace; the stuff that wasn’t confidential at least. This mostly happened in the form of him ranting about how much it annoyed him. He had ditched the Sunset Savannah New Year’s ceremony and spent it on the palace roof, turning his camera on and letting you see the fireworks of his homeland and how the city was lit up for the celebrations. “If you ever visit, I’ll show ya around”, he had promised you.
Your presence in his life made the holidays pass by fast. When Leona stepped through the dark mirror on his way back to the school, you were already waiting for him on the other side. Both of you felt a little awkward at first. Things had changed a lot between you since you had last seen each other, after all. Leona rolled his eyes at your attempts to make smalltalk, waiting for the rest of the students to exit the mirror chamber before he opened his arms. “Come on now, y/n, don’t be a stranger”, he sighed and you stepped into his embrace, wrapping your arms around him. You hoped he didn’t have a sliver of an idea how much you had wanted this over the past few days. What you didn’t know was that Leona felt exactly the same. He held the back of your head with his hand and let you bury your face in his shoulder. Leona had his tail wrapped around your waist and you got goosebumps where it touched your arm. A strand of his hair was tickling the skin of your face and you noticed how much you liked the smell of his cologne.
The two of you walked back to the dorms together, Leona staying closer to you than usual. Much to your surprise, the lion beastman actually showed up to class on the first day. It was his most hated lesson, even. He sat down next to you. “Glad you showed up”, you said and reached for the cup standing next to you, “I got you a coffee.” Leona inspected the beverage with surprise, not expecting you to get him something to drink on the off-chance that he came to class. You raised your eyebrow at him when you saw him sniffing at the coffee. “If you’re gonna complain that you don’t like this kind, I’m never getting you anything ever again”, you threatened and Leona patted your head. “Don’t worry, herbivore”, he smirked and took a sip from the coffee as the lesson began.
Reunited at Night Raven College, Leona still enjoyed spending his time with you. He had invited you over to show you some more strategies in chess; as it was easier to teach you anything if you were there in person. You had eaten dinner together (a bunch of meat that Leona ordered from a take-out restaurant in the village on the isle) and decided to take a breath of fresh air on the roof of the Savanaclaw dorm. Leona looked at you as you gazed at the stars.
“Do you think the sky is fake?”, Leona was caught off-guard by your question. “The hell?”, he raised an eyebrow and sat up. “Like, the ones over the dorms. What even are the dorms? Are they actual locations the mirrors just teleport us to? Are they weird pocket dimensions? Why do I never hear anyone talking about this?”, you asked. Leona chuckled. “Considering they’re never locked and we haven’t seen anyone try to rob us yet, I thought it was pretty obvious they’re not just standing around somewhere in the wild”, he shrugged, “but yeah, this isn’t the actual night sky. The constellations are super off.” “I see someone actually paid attention in astronomy class”, you commented. “Not really”, Leona replied, “in my homeland there’s the belief that the stars are the great kings of the past who are watching over you from above. Heard the story a million times. Learnt about the constellations as time went on. If you’re worried or in despair, you can ask them for guidance and supposedly they would answer you. Personally I think that’s a bunch of humbug.”
Leona shrugged and you thought about his words, having learnt something new about his culture. “If you believed in it…what would you ask them?”, you wondered and looked into Leona’s emerald eyes. “That’s a little too personal, don’t ya think?”, Leona smirked but then conceded, “I suppose I’d ask them why I pulled such a dumb result in fate’s lottery, among other things.” “Idia called it ‘god’s rigged gacha machine’”, you chuckled. “That’s one way to put it”, Leona mused. “Then again, you never know what life’s gonna give you”, you tried to add a more positive point of view, “who knows maybe you’ll soon receive a great deal of luck or something. You never know.”
Leona let out a bitter laugh. “Then I suppose, I’ll have to thank the great kings of the past”, he crossed his arms, “anyway, it’s getting late. We should probably head inside again.” He got up and so did you, making your way towards Leona’s room again.
You couldn’t even react fast enough when you stumbled on the roof and fell over, Leona catching you just in time and pulling you back into balance. You were leaned against his chest and Leona was holding onto you to keep you steady. “Geez, herbivore, first you’re all talk about stickin’ by me and being my friend and now I have to prevent you from breaking your bones every 5 minutes”, Leona sighed. You pouted. “Name ONE other time where you had to prevent me from breaking my bones”, you rolled your eyes.
You only noticed then how close the two of you were. Determined to tease him back, you spoke before you realized what it was you just said. “Are we about to kiss now?”
The smirk left your face when the realization hit you. Leona, on the other hand, was having the time of his life with this. He grinned at you and let out a laugh. “My, you’re getting bold now”, his ears twitched as he laughed, “I mean, go ahead if you wanna, I ain’t gonna stop ya.” He was challenging you, part of him thinking you weren’t going to do it anyway.
His eyes widened and he was caught off guard when you took him up on the offer and he found himself with your lips on his instead.
Leona closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, kissing you back softly. There was a sense of relief to his kiss; as if he had waited for this to happen for centuries. He wouldn’t ever have dreamt that you might feel the same for him as he did for you. Not with the behavior he had shown to you before. Not with the way he went about his days. And yet, you had given him a chance. The chance to prove to you that he was worth it. And he swore in that moment that he was going to make the most of that.
Leona sighed against your lips and cupped your cheek with his hand, deepening the kiss eagerly. He furrowed his brows and pulled you as close to him as possible.
When your lips parted from each other, Leona still held you in a tight embrace, resting his head on top of yours. “So…”, you began, nuzzling his neck and relaxing into his embrace, “are we going to get on people’s nerves together from now on?” “You still have to ask that? Take a hint, herbivore”, he hissed and then chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
You remained like this for a while, just holding each other as Leona looked up to the night sky. “You’re more quiet than usual”, you said softly, “what’s going through your head, hmm?” Leona rolled his eyes. “Life clowned me with irony and now I gotta thank the great kings of the past for ‘a great deal of luck or something’”, he sighed and laughed. You pressed another soft kiss to his lips and held his face in your hand, looking into his eyes with a loving expression.
“I love you…and at the risk of sounding incredibly cheesy”, you confessed and brushed a strand of hair out of his face, “you’re my first choice, Leona. Always have been.” Leona hugged you tightly and squeezed you slightly, holding onto you like he feared you might disappear any second now. He buried his face in your neck. Your words had touched his heart and made him feel a sense of happiness and closure he was longing for for god knows how long. He kissed you once more, pouring all his pent-up attachment and care for you into the kiss as the stars gazed down on you.
#twisted wonderland#leona kingscholar x you#leona kingscholar x reader#leona kingscholar x mc#leona kingscholar x yuu#leona x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#leona kingscholar#twst leona
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I'll never let you go...
CW: mentions of death, corpses, obsession and such (this whole post covers morbid topics)
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Demons are used to having their human pact masters perish in such short periods of time that they never get to make the most out of pacts. It's expected. It's the norm. No one would really bat an eye once the human soul leaves the body and the pact is severed.
But what if the demon dies first?
That would be a very rare case. Demons don't really have a fixed lifespan. They would either succumb to deep slumber, almost like a comatose, or they are killed.
What would the human do when their beloved demon dies before they do? Can they handle the grief? Can they bear to feel the pact severing?
What if they can't? What if that human takes the corpse and flees?
What would they do when they find out that the body still reacts to pact commands?
Hack job taxidermy, playing dress up with a corpse, finding any and all means to pretty up their demon (especially if the cause of death was gruesome and left the body barely recognisable), making sure to care for them now that they can't do it on their own, exhausting themself due to constantly using commands because otherwise, the truth seeps in little by little, chipping away at the illusion.
They ignore that their demon can't speak anymore, that they aren't even remotely warm. They have to constantly use magic to make sure the joints don't stiffen too much or that the smell doesn't get too awful. They bring gifts, offer food, share a meal. They talk about their day and how excited they are for future plans, smiling like the dead silence isn't what they're hearing after they stop talking.
At some point they have to procure glass eyeballs to replace the eyes but none can do justice to their beloved's!
"Don't worry, darling. It's my turn to take care of you."
It's morbid. It's disrespectful. It's mocking the dead with every syllable uttered in command.
So the demons wait. Eventually, the human will pass, and their kin can receive the send off they deserve. Even after the human reaches the end of their minute lifespan, they'll probably rot first than the demon corpse they've puppeteered around for decades.
And even if they're too stubborn to die, the Reapers aren't hard to get a hold of.
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#shrimpy thoughts#shrimpy rambling#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me swd#obey me nightbringer#obey me scenarios#obey me headcanons#🦐:drabble
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Jungkook
𝓜𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 : 𝐌𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐌𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲
Some things just aren't meant to be.
Tags/Warnings: Angst, hurt & Comfort, Idol!Jungkook, Hybrid!Reader, Cat Hybrid!Reader, mentions of depression and depressive thoughts, heartbreak, homelessness, it's a bit heavy sorry, mentions of mental abuse and manipulation, betrayal, slow burn, eventual smut, dead dove do not eat
Dead Dove do not eat: warning for potentially triggering content that can't be tagged without spoiling the story.
Length: 2.4k Words.
-> Masterlist
~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~
"I'll take the left side, you look in the parking lots outside." Yoongi instructs, leaving Jungkook on his own- and he's stuck in place for a moment.
In an odd way, he knows where you could be hiding- because you've hidden here before, when you'd accidentally followed him outside, but got confused where to go since you haven't lived with him for even just a week yet. He remembers how you cowered in a corner at one of the spots where the bikes are put, little roof over it protecting them from rain- and also providing good shelter for you the entire day. He knows, right now, you probably do the same thing.
But his biggest problem is that he doesn't know what to do if he even finds you.
What's he supposed to do then? Sweep you off your feet like prince charming and take you home like nothing happened? It doesn't work like that, the problems from back then still exist today after all. You're clearly not well off at Hanako's, making it evident in the fact that you willingly ran away. And he can understand it.
But you also can't go into the hybrid care system due to his own company making sure you won't 'talk' to anyone who might ever adopt you. No one wants an older hybrid loaded with problems and legally binding NDA's at the end of the day, so your chances at ever really being adopted into a new home are pretty much zero. And if you are- there's a high chance those people will end up using you for higher gain. To defame him or his company, possibly.
And you can't go back with him, even if you wanted to.
Because with him, you'll have to go through all the harassments and forever continuing problems that Jin's now wife had to go through as well- probably even worse, considering you're not a human, but a hybrid of all things. He himself couldn't care less about the things people will probably say about him. They'll call him a fetishist, a pervert, whatever- it won't change what he's achieved in the past, the life he'd been able to life up until this point. But you don't deserve that. You don't deserve any of that hate you'll surely receive.
He should've thought about that before. But he didn't.
So in a way, he hopes for a while that he doesn't find you. That he's wrong, that you've escaped everyone, that you'll start a new life somewhere else maybe, far away from him and the consequences of his actions. But he's not that lucky. He never is, isn't he?
Your reflecting eyes stare at him from the corner you're hiding in, wide open, staring at him- and he doesn't know what to do.
He hasn't seen you in a while. Have you lost weight? Hanako promised him you were eating your meals properly, but looking at you, he worries she might've lied to him to simply soothe his anger a little. Your bright white hybrid tail and ears are grey-ish, dirty, and you just look terrified. He's never seen you like this.
Has he turned you into this? If not with his own hands, then probably with his actions.
You're trembling, and he doesn't know what to do. Everything his mind comes up with is some sort of skinship, reassurance, but he can't lie and pretend like he can just hold you and everything will be fine. It won't- and he knows this.
"Its my fault, isn't it?" He says, just.. standing there, looking down at you while you're still cowering in your corner, trying not to let the rain get to you. It's stopped by now, only some faint drops still falling- but the water is everywhere at this point, and you don't want your shoes to soak it all up.
You've got no way to get them dry later.
"Its my fault." He says again. "I didn't.. think it trough. I thought-" he speaks mostly to himself it seems, gaze distant as he watches his own reflection in the puddle of water he's standing in. "I thought it would somehow all work out." He tells no one in particular, and you don't know what to say. You don't know if there even is anything to say.
"I was naive to think that.. you know, I could just play pretend for a while." He continues, taking a step away from you. "I was hoping I could work towards.. the world, the fans accepting the.. possibility of us one day.." he seems to break a little. "But then, when Seokjin announced his engagement, and all hell broke loose.. I felt like I couldn't put you through that too." He tears up. "I should've known. I should've.. expected that, but seeing it happen like this, it-" he shakes his head. "I had to do something. Anything to keep you safe." He softly speaks, like he's trying to make you understand.
Even though you do. You know why he did what he did, somewhat.
"I shouldn't have taken you with me in the first place." He says. "You.. even asked me. You were the more mature one back then- you.. tried to help, but I was stubborn. I still am." He shakes his head. "I didn't want to see what could happen. I wanted to believe." He says, before he suddenly leans down, knees hitting the wet puddle as he kneels down. "I ruined your life because of my own greed." He tells you, and you worry for him as you watch his pants soak up the cold water. "I ruined any future you could've had just because.. I wanted you." Jungkook tells you, before his hands dip into the shallow puddle in front of him, body folding over as he bows- instantly terrifying you. "Please forgive me." He says, and you instantly move to push against his shoulders.
It's not his fault. It's not- you could've done something too. You could've been born something else, someone else- someone he could've been able to love without having to choose between the life he wants and the life he chose. You could've never met him, could've turned away from him, could've never accepted his offer to so much as talk to you back at the carecenter.
It's not his fault. It can't be. Because if it is, he would admit that the love you both had had been a mistake too.
"No-!" You whine, as you push harder against his shoulders for him to sit back up, but he doesn't move. He's a strong guy after all, no match for you- but you still try.
"I'm sorry." He keeps ranting, and you get up now, uncaring of your soft fabric boots soaking up as you try and pull him up now.
But he won't move.
"No!" You shake your head, letting yourself fall onto the wet pavement as well, crying out of frustration as you hit his back. "No.." you whine, pitifully as your tears get the better of you, body aching for him to hold you. You're scared, you don't know what's to come now, what will happen- you don't want to be in this nightmare any longer, you've never wanted this in the first place. So your weak hits turn into nothing as you cry out his name, desperate for any kind of reaction. And only then does he sit up, giving you a chance of crawling into his lap, desperate for any kind of reassurance.
You don't care if he doesn't mean it. If he wants to push you off, you'll let him- but just for a split second, you want to be surrounded by him, pretend you're back at his apartment, back home where you'd been happy.
But he doesn't push you off, and maybe that's even worse.
He wraps his arms around you so much it hurts a little, but you couldn't feel more pain than at the sound of his sobs in your shoulder. He sounds distressed, like a child having lost its mother, like you did back when you were just a kitten having been told that your momma will never come back home. He sounds just like you that day, all confused, and scared, and nothing but upset.
About the world that moves on, uncaring of you both or the situation you find yourselves in.
"Jungkook.." a voice is heard behind him, a young man with an umbrella you recognize as Yoongi standing close but with a respectable distance, watching with a look on his face you can understand somewhat.
He probably doesn't know what to do either. Can't help, can't make it better.
No one can.
So you just close your eyes, and become a ghost, enjoying his warmth for one last time. That's all you can do for him, for you as well, at the end of the day.
Because some things just aren't meant to be.
"Jungkook- come on, let's get her-" Yoongi tries, but Jungkook slaps his hand away, holds you even tighter now, while the rapper can't do anything but watch.
"no.!" He pitifully shakes his head, burying it in your neck. "Don't.. take her yet." He begs, but Yoongi is now more concerned over you than the mental state of his friend. Your tail is unmoving, resting in muddy water behind you, while your arms hang limply at your sides, not holding onto the young man at all any longer. Something's not right- the pale inside of your cat ears, your unmoving state of being-
"Jungkook, please-" He asks again, trying to get closer, step by step, as if he's talking to a dangerous animal. Which- in a way, he is. "-We have to get her help, okay?" He asks, and only now do Jungkook's eyes snap open.
You're not holding onto him.
You're not doing anything, in fact.
His own blood runs cold at the way he spots your unmoving tail, drops from the metal roof dripping down on it, but it just won't move even an inch. And neither does the rest of you move. Have you always been this cold?
His breath quickens as he slowly moves his arms, holds you a bit further away from himself- and your head just flops down onto his shoulder, making him panic. You're so pale- you've got no color to your cheeks, nothing- what's happening to you?
"Jungkook, snap out of it!" Yoongi begs, trying to somehow get his friend to put you into the car so he can drive you to get medical attention- but Jungkook can't move.
He's frozen in place at the sight of you.
You're resting heavy against his body, and only now does he quite grasp the severity of the situation. He can hear Yoongi on the phone with someone, but he can't really make out the words, brain just not attempting to understand any of them as he moves his hands underneath your clothes. His hands are cold, he remembers you'd always jump away from him with a giggle, before he'd chase you around his apartment- but you do nothing. You're not even warm at all underneath all those layers.
This can't be happening.
"Yeah- hey, Jungkook, come on, lets bring her to the car, okay?" Yoongi coaxes him, and Jungkook nods after a moment, finally coming somewhat back into reality as he carries you to the opened trunk where Yoongi had put down the back seats so you'd have a lot of space to lay down on. When he puts you down, you still don't move. Why won't you move? Not even a flutter of your eyelashes- you're way too still.
"Yeah, I'm checking, but I don't know where it could be-" Yoongi talks into his phone tucked between his shoulder and ear, zipping open your coat to search for something it seems, while Jungkook can't do anything but watch. "I think I found it? Yeah, kind of, but it's all red, looks kind of like a bruise.." He explains, and Jungkook stares at the spot on the inside of your arm.
Hanako.
"Heat implant-" Jungkook stutters, looking at it. "I-it's a heat implant, Hanako said she's had it since the beginning of the year-" He rambles softly, eyes never leaving you, especially once he spots your chest rising and falling shallowly and quickly at the same time, while Yoongi repeats what he's said to whomever he's talking to.
"Yeah, we'll be on our way right now." He says, before he closes the trunk, and shoves Jungkook into the passenger seat before he gets in the car himself. "They're preparing for us right now- we'll bring her to the hospital right now." He offers, rushing as best as he can, before the large building comes into sight. "Jungkook."
"What-" The idol asks, having turned around the entire time to reach for your hand- even though it's cold, and you probably don't feel him holding it.
"The minute we arrive, there's a chance someone will take a picture, or a video, or anything." He reminds him with a serious expression. "You can either stay inside-"
"No." Jungkook shakes his head, holding your hand a bit tighter, looking back at you. "I'm done. I don't care anymore." He says.
"There's no coming back from this, Jungkook." Yoongi says again, parking near the emergency unit entrance where he can see several people already waiting for them, considering he'd called. They've put something like a tarp up, considering they know that Yoongi himself called- doing their best to shield anyone from potential media. But the chance still stands, and his words still hold weight.
But Jungkook doesn't answer- and instead gets out to open the trunk, carrying you into the emergency unit, where they take you from him for the last time.
Leaving him alone, with his thoughts, and a heavy heart that will probably never heal from this.
Taking your ghost with them, never to return.
Because down the line-
Some things just aren't meant to be.
#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#jungkook imagine#hybrid imagine#jeon jungkook imagine#jeon jungkook x reader#bts jungkook fanfic#bts jungkook imagine#bts jeon jungkook imagine
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I'm very passionate about world-building, I absolutely love characters who are sympathetic yet horrible people, but regardless still people, and just because they were abused and have abused others, doesn't mean they can't redeem themselves, but that doesn't mean everyone will forgive them either
I'm pretty sure I have a noncon kink, though the sexiest part to me is the hurt/comfort aspect of it, its the pain and grief that follows it, those are so important to me, having a fantasy of saving yourself or being saved, and receiving true love and care that is needed and deserved, that's my appeal (although I will admit sometimes it is a depressing "end" but that's likely cause I'm feeling angsty — I suffer from graphic nightmares of getting SA'ed :( )
writing and drawing these things are difficult and I'm afraid they'll be inconsistent, though I know ultimately I want everything to be rounded off to satisfy myself and be happy with what I create to express and explore fictionally, which feels safe and comforting. character flanderisation saddens me, and for all the depth and potential and complexities they have that not even the author can truly fully understand they deserve to be treated like real people within the context of their worlds/stories if you want to portray very real pain, which would make the pleasure all that more catharic
I guess what I want to say is thanks to all the anons and to you Chai, for all the amazing ideas and observations and criticisms that really gets a guy thinking. good thinking! from simple changes to mature understandings despite the baffling blind side, I'm positive it will get better after it's gotten much, much worse than we could ever predict, and eventually, we'll get to be at peace with these shitshows
stay safe everyone <3
Here's to that! One day this will all be a view from the rear view mirror, and I'll go back to bitching about something much less consequential. Gotta say, it can't come soon enough!
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Hi Pia
I've seen your posts (and other bloggers posts) about antis, and although i don't agree that anyone has the right to dictate what media people are allowed to enjoy i never actually believed that they could be that bad (since I'd never had any interactions with them) and thought their unhinged behaviour was exaggerated. Until I posted a fic with a controversial pairing and OH. MY. GOD.
I have never received this much abuse (and of such a vicious sort) in my entire life. I guess this serves me right for doubting other creators' claims of how awful antis can be. I could just never believe anyone could be this... this... diabolical. But now I'm experiencing it first and it is wild.
Like I'm receiving actual death threats? Because of a 2,000 oneshot? I'm being told that me and my whole family deserve to die slow and painful deaths because of the characters I shipped?? They're calling me a pedophile and an animal abuser because one of the characters I wrote about is a teenager and the other is a human-animal hybrid??? What?
Like, are these people ok? Are they mentally unwell? This is just... I'm in shock honestly that people actually think and behave like this. Holy hell. It's been a hug eye opener and not a necessarily nice one.
Sorry if this message was unwelcome, I just couldn't think of anyone else to share this with. I hope you're having a nice day/evening ❤
Hi hi anon,
Yeah, this is what it's sadly like, and in the most extreme pockets of anti-communities are people who have literally tried to murder other people over fictional characters.
It's truly unhinged.
You have people who just don't like what other people are shipping, which is fine and normal, we all have notps and things we don't like, and then you have the people who genuinely think it's okay to torment, harass, abuse, and bully another person based over something fictional, and those people need to be blocked.
These people coming after you anon, if they're on AO3, report every single one because it might take a while, but those people get banned from AO3. If they're on Tumblr, block but also consider reporting, because death threats get people banned and all anonymous IP addresses are logged on Tumblr's side. If it's on Twitter, block on sight. Don't tolerate them, don't give them the air to breathe, and make sure you get offline sometimes or go to online safe spaces and spend time with the people who love you for who you are, it's the best weapon against antis who have no idea who you are and feel like you're a great figure to bully and abuse.
Ultimately, at the very base of what an anti is, is someone who believes their emotion of 'don't like that' justifies them bullying and torturing other people over fictional characters. It is at its foundation completely delusional, and even people who get 'logical' about it are still going 'my emotions are real enough to justify hurting you over something that is a figment of our collective imaginations.'
Some of those folks are very young, and will grow out of it, and have just drunk the collective Koolaid, some of them are older and always wanted an excuse to bully others but feel 'righteous' and 'pure' for doing it. Some really believe they're doing the right thing, others know they're hypocrities but can be all the more vicious for it. There are many recovering antis, but they're often silent about the things they've done, or the ways they've tried to hurt people.
I'm glad you posted that story anon, but not glad about the response you're getting. Consider moderating comments if it's on AO3, just to choke out the antis for a while. And yeah, practice self-care, because abusers want to hurt and harm others, and if you feel hurt and harmed, the more you can act to look after yourself, the more you thwart their goal/s and give them the big proverbial 'fuck you' that they so desperately deserve.
They do, usually, die down after a while, especially the more they get starved out. They'll often hunt for more vulnerable people. But in the meantime you also might want to inform folks you trust irl that you're dealing with this right now, because antis are unhinged, and online abuse is serious. Take care of you!! <33333 I'm sorry you had to learn about this pocket of 'society' in such a horrific way.
Antis are the worst.
#asks and answers#purity wank#anti anti#it's definitely sometimes hard to explain what antis are like until you've encountered them personally#because it seems so...ridiculous that people will literally viciously abuse you over fiction#like 'surely they have to have at least *some* kind of reason'#they don't#they see the things they've deemed morally wrong#decided you're a criminal#fully dehumanised you#and then they launch like attack dogs#they don't deserve your time#and remember that any threats of serious harm online is something that almost all ISPs#including the shithole that is twitter#respond to seriously#even if these people are using sockpuppet accounts#they can still be banned#and you can still block them
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Mercs with a s/o who likes to blow them kisses mid-battle?
Awww that's cute🥰
Mercs with s/o who blows them kisses mid-battle
Scout
He'll get so blushy and flustered
He'll always give you a dopey grin and wave back with his face as red as a tomato
After that Scout always has a big grin on his face for the rest of the battle
Soldier
Soldier wants real kisses not air ones
So how does he solve this? He'll chase you down during battle to give you a kiss
He doesn't care what he was doing he's gonna give you the kisses you deserve
Demoman
He'll wink and blow a kiss back
As soon as he turns away though he'll giggle with a blush prominent on his face
He enjoys your kisses and the air kisses make him feel like you're thinking about him
So he obviously gets extra happy when you blow him a kiss
Pyro
They'll giggle and 'catch' the kiss before blowing one back
They don't kiss much because of their mask but they're happy to blow you kisses during the day
Your air kisses always cheer them up and they go about their battles with a certain skip in their step
Heavy
He'll be super starled before smiling and waving back at you
He feels a little silly blowing a kiss to you but he'll happily accept yours and return one after the battle
His day is always brighten after receiving air kisses from you
Medic
He'll happily blow many kisses back to you
Doesn't matter what he was doing it can wait he needs to show you he loves you
After the battle he makes sure to give you all the real kisses for all the air kisses he blew to you during the battle
Sniper
He'll get super flustered before pointing to himself as if you'd blow kisses to anyone else
After you affirm it was for him he'll get flustered and blow a small kiss back
Your air kisses are the only thing that can distract him from his work but he's not complaining
Spy
He'll smirk and blow a kiss right back at you
He enjoys receiving affection from you and is eager for real kisses after the battle
Prepare for a minute long kiss so Spy can make up for the air kisses throughout the previous battle
#tf2 x reader#tf2 medic x reader#tf2 sniper x reader#tf2 scout x reader#tf2 heavy x reader#tf2 demoman x reader#tf2 soldier x reader#tf2 spy x reader#tf2 pyro x reader
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there is something very disturbing to me about the concept of "loving yourself before you receive love"
as if one isn't worthy of it unless they love themselves
or perhaps shouldn't receive it unless x,y,z are fulfilled
love isn't something you earn with special credit. it's something you're given in spite of and because of who and what you are.
we all know people who are given love and understanding who are essentially human shit stains. if you don't know them, you've heard of them. and that is what it is. it is probably better that such people are given love rather than nothing or hate.
but what of the opposite? the people who SHOULD be given love and understanding but are not? some people go their whole lives never receiving or finding anyone to love or to be loved by.
for many reasons. but there are times when it is no fault of their own. they are surrounded by people who don't understand. perhaps they are strange and people are strange to them. maybe they are intimidating and/or intimidated by others.
and these people - the touch and love starved - are often told to "love themselves first" or are blamed for their predicament. or worse yet they're "reminded" that 'relationships aren't everything'.
sort of how most people are reminded that money isn't everything and it doesn't equate to happiness.
we need money bc of this system we're in.
we need love/understanding/connection bc of what we are.
now.. i would consider myself aplatonic, aromantic and asexual 99% of the time. bc 99% of people just aren't for me. that ive met, obv
but even i want a companion. someone who fulfills the need of a friend, a romantic partner, and a sexual partner. that's just me.
i love me. i understand me. i know for 100% fact that my issues - mental, financial, physical - are generally much smaller than a normal person's. why? bc i have worked on my issues my whole life to make them as small for ME to handle. so i know they're not that big of a deal.
most people struggle with the things i struggle with.
but most people aren't like me.
and i'm finding that's what matters more. whether they're able to really understand ME. sure. we can relate to each other's situations bc we are alive. but love/understanding is different between those who truly care and get one another.
what am i getting at?
that people are full of shit. i suppose. and many people are full of the same sort of shit.
but some aren't. and that is what makes them unlovable to others. their differences.
and isn't it fucked up that someone may actually be a good person but just so weird or intimidating that no one knows how to handle them? that that's the only reason they'll never receive love?
(receive love from someone they want in return)
and then i think "beggars can't be choosers" which is why people like me (good people, people who deserve better) end up with abusers or people who don't appreciate me.
and plenty of people deal with this. being chased by those they don't want. choosing incorrectly but hoping for the best. to be disappointed and crushed. by their own expectations or the expectations of their partner.
relationships in 2023... i don't know about them. so many people seen to have flimsy/insubstantial connections. even the people that shouldn't.
and nowadays "red flag" more often means "something i don't like" than something that is a real problem. and there are those who LIKE toxicity. who run from health. we've all done self destructive things. and what a sweet way to die - to kill oneself with love that is bad for you.
rather than to grow. but it's not linear. it doesn't make sense.
ah. that is how Life is. sometimes it's just nonsense and shitty at the same time it is magical and beautiful and true.
and perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.
#voidpunk#relationships#love#understanding#compassion#aplatonic#asexual#aromantic#aspec#trans#autistic#actually autistic#cptsd#healing#relationship advice#green flags#red flags#denying another their humanity and the expression of feelings that comes with being alive#holding others to higher standards bc of your biases#it is pretty fucked up#trans man#trans man of color#dating#dating apps#romance
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I am deep in my anger about the ignorance/apathy that the majority of abled Americans have about how deeply fucked up this country's treatment of disabled people is. Not only am I ENRAGED by it, but also it doesn't make logical sense! Don't they know they will become us? Don't they know that it is only the unlucky who die too young to develop a disability? Don't they understand what's coming for them??
I want to be legally allowed to save money! I want to be allowed to marry my wife legally! I want to be able to buy nice things and go on vacations, instead of being trapped at home with no wheelchair and no ramp! And I am only 29! Everyone knows when you get old here, you get locked away in a sad understaffed facility, and folks are out here acting like they'll never grow old!
The only thing keeping my grief and my feelings of helplessness against a massive enemy from overwhelming me is this project I've been working on with some new friends.
There's this piece of land, you see. It's huge and beautiful and being sold way WAY under market price. And there's a chance - not a guarantee but a real chance - that I will have the opportunity to live in this beautiful green place and to build a community and a free medical treatment center there that will change and save lives.
I see before me a path to create a bright spot of rest and love in the darkness, where I can prove to person after person - and to myself - that a better life IS possible, right here in America, where most of can't afford to leave. In America, we are meant to believe a life of poverty is just something some people deserve. They don't. No one does. And I have a chance to make sure as many people as possible know they do not deserve to be left behind.
The world does not need more heroes. The world needs more care. The world needs places to rest. People need to be told that they are valued even if they cannot labor - and THEN they need to be treated like they deserve help and have value beyond their labor.
I spend a large part of my life trying to prove to the government and doctors that I am poor enough/sick enough/disabled enough (in the exact ways they approve of) to receive help. - Without this constant, intricate song and dance of evil banality and arbitrary denial and cruel loopholes, I can be denied what I need to live. (I am only alive because I have the privilege of having rich relatives, who paid for my college education and currently pay my rent.) If I was not able to afford an assistant, I would already have lost all of my benefits. Currently, I am at risk of losing my Medicaid because I missed an unexpected "prove to a doctor you are still disabled" deadline. There is a massive and ongoing burden of proof in this country placed on disabled people and subject to the whims of rich white abled judges and the minutiae of paperwork.
That's why it's so important that I have this opportunity to help people. I cannot tell you what it will mean to me the day I get to look someone in the face and tell them that their housing and medical treatment will be free as long as they need it and with nothing expected in return. I wanna meet someone who has been trying their hardest for as long as they can remember to build a stable life, and I want to be able to tell them to please try their softest. To prove to me nothing. To take their time. I will tell them that I need neither justification nor evidence to believe them when they say they need help. I want to be living proof that people deserve help just by being alive on this planet. I want to be included as part of that. I deserve a soft place to land too.
Also this property has a wheelchair ramp, meaning I could finally get a wheelchair after 2 years of needing and not having one!
One of the other members of the team has already brought up building a system of elder care on the property that would allow people to receive comprehensive health care as they age and to remain part of a vibrant community!
There's Hope. There's Real Hope. I can hardly believe it.
And if this particular opportunity doesn't work out, well, I'm never going to stop pursuing that dream. Never. I will either get there or die having journeyed towards it my whole life, and in doing so, I will have made this world a little softer in a million other ways, and I will have made the path a little easier to walk for whoever comes after me. I used to want to leave destruction in my wake or die trying. But in this, I will leave creation in my wake, and I will live trying. (And if doing so allows people to grow strong enough to destroy evil institutions... good.)
I am going to look at every cruelty of this system that nearly killed me, and I'm going to foster the right conditions to do the exact opposite. I will take the ableism of my family who wouldn't believe that I couldn't work even when I was dying, and I will do the opposite. Oh, the people I will believe! The people I will help feed! The people I will protect and build strong houses and long tables with! The people I will learn from! - I haven't even met most of them yet! How exciting that my life may still yet be long and full of wonders!!
I hope anyone reading this who has also at some point felt like a long life would be a curse, especially if they feel like that right now... I wanted to say that me and my friends and people like us - and opportunities like the one I've been blessed with - will only be able to help you if you stay alive long enough to be found. Or to find us, as the case may be.
If you can't live long enough, it's not your fault. Truly, it's not; and your death would be a tragic loss to yourself and to this world that I cannot begin to describe because it would make me so sad my literal heart would start to hurt and I'd never get to bed tonight.
But please, please, hold on with everything you have, for as long as you possibly can. Please handle your heart with the gentlest hands you can muster. I need you to live long enough to sit at our table because nothing is guaranteed except that you must be alive to do it. And I'm saving you a seat that only you can have, and without you it will remain forever empty and our table forever incomplete. You are invited to this party, and it just won't be as good without you. I'm a lousy cook, but I'm making friends with chefs, and I promise I will make sure you have enough food. There will be music and laughter and dancing. Some of us will dance in our wheelchairs. Some of us will hug and cry and plant flowers. All of us will stare in amazement of the better days we once thought impossible.
And I for one will be so fucking happy to see you there. I will take you by your hand, look you in the eye, and with the greatest, warmest relief in my heart, I will thank you for living to share this day with me. Because I know damn well that it was stupid fucking hard, and that it is not okay how hard it was.
But, look, now the sunset is warm upon our faces and the children are laughing with the community elders, and we can sleep knowing we are not alone. We made it. We really made it.
And maybe it's not specifically me and it's not specifically you - the metaphor has its limits. But there are so many people like me who want a better world, and there are so many people like you who deserve to live to see it.
And if we never see better days, then I will count each day we survive as a victory and a rebellion, because that's what they will be. I will cherish and live for each little bit of love and joy we carve out of the darkness.
But a better life does not become impossible until we are dead. Which means as long as we still live, there is Hope.
Have courage and be kind, friend. Be kind to yourself especially - even if you can only do so a little bit at a time, it's worth the practice. Turns out it is harder to live than to die. But I care that you are found.
---
Optional musical accompaniment to this post bc I've never had any chill and I don't see why I should start now:
A practical song about managing anxiety with the line "i care that you breathe" in it
Brian David Gilbert's beautiful song "See the Day"
A song about surviving while sick in America, and which I am told once saved a life
A lovely nerdy song called "Critical Hit" that inspires me on the days I have a little more energy
#original#ableism cw#medical trauma cw#trauma cw#ablism#poverty#hope#hopepunk#cripplepunk#this world is not yet lost. and it won't be until we are all dead. and we just have to deal with that.#suicide mention#kinda#some people react to talk of Hope in different ways. it's okay if you don't like the way I talk about it. we can have different brains.#i still care that you breathe#brian david gilbert#the altogether#ghost mice#if i die before i make my great big dream come true i will at least die knowing that my small kindnesses and my work has#helped and even saved people. the little things are in fact not little at all. they never were. others have saved me w such casual things#we deserve safety and peace and life. this is the Truth. i will hold this truth close to my heart in the hopes that you can do the same.#if this post helps people then that's great but I wrote it to help me remember my hope. if it helps someone else then that is a double win.#I must make a post like this once a month. I can't help it if I'm a parody of myself. or rather I can but why would I want to I'm a delight
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Prompt/Headcanon: “Edward Scissorhands” AU with Deku as Kim Boggs, Shoto Todoroki as Edward, and Katsuki Bakugo as Jim (the jock/asshole “boyfriend”)
Ooooo that'd be an interesting AU!
Izuku's surprised when his mother brings Shoto home - claiming that she'd found him alone in the abandoned mansion at the end of the street - but he supports her decision in letting him live with them and tries his best to make their guest feel welcome.
He quickly learns that Shoto's interesting. Not only in his appearance, which his neighbours seem keen to comment on at every given opportunity (Izuku thinks they're incredibly rude, but doesn't comment), but in his actions. Shoto doesn't exactly talk a lot - it's as if he never really had anyone to teach him - but he's most expressive in both his art and his eyes.
And more often than not, his eyes are sad.
Izuku wants to remedy that; he can't change the past, but the future is pliable in his grasp, and Shoto deserves to be happy.
However, he quickly learns that not everyone shares the same intentions. Kacchan's never been the kindest person, but to take advantage of Shoto's naivety of the world and get him arrested is a kind of cruel Izuku thought he'd long outgrown.
Kacchan's actions turn the rest of the town against Shoto. After all, Kacchan's lived there his entire life and can do no wrong, meanwhile the stranger cannot be trusted, and his once charming quirks are now looked upon with suspicion. That being said, the Midoriyas make it known that they'll always support him. They're rewarded with a small, but genuine smile in response, and Izuku thinks his heart might burst.
And when Kacchan corners Izuku and yells at him for choosing the wrong side - eyes as accusatory as they were when they were children - he hears blades slicing and suddenly, Shoto's in front of him with a fierce protectiveness that has Izuku shocked to the spot.
'Leave.' That croaky voice tells Kacchan. 'Leave Izuku alone.'
'Or what?'
Both of them are in a bad way after that, but only one of them receives sympathy from the town. Shoto doesn't seem to care though, especially when Izuku offers to help clean him up afterwards and runs his hands through red and white hair.
'Thank you.' He murmurs quietly, head cushioned by Izuku's thighs.
'I should be thanking you.' He says, matter of factly, before pressing a kiss to that scarred cheek. 'You're amazing, Shoto. I'm so thankful that you entered my life.'
And if Shoto ever tries returning to that solitary mansion at the end of the neighbourhood, Izuku will be there to make sure it's a decision his friend wants, not something he's forced into.
#me? not writing a sad ending? who'd have thunked?#tododeku#todoroki shoto#midoriya izuku#edward scissorhands#izushou#anti bakudeku#todomido#todoizu#lovely people#AgarJelly writes#a little bit
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Hi Zu! Why are birthday's important? I mean... I have hard time understanding it. Mostly because in our home it's either just making a cake that we all eat and... that's all. Sometimes, when I will do presents for parents it's most likely an irritated glare that we are wasting time and it's...all. And also I can't just remember dates correctly XD
Oh, and on good note! I did my first irl doll! Maybe some idea which animal/character should I do next? There's too many to choose myself++
Hii Rita!╰(*´︶`*)╯
Because it's a special day, your wishes fulfillment day. The day of summing up, thanks and new plans. Your day ♡
It's also a great time for showing the birthday person how much you appreciate them, how important they're to you and how glad you are to have them in your life <3 Sure, there are other 364 days a year for this, and caring about others can't be limited to their birthday only, but this happens once a year after all! ♪
Traditions may differ in many families, but the birthday is always an important event (๑>◡<๑) For children, that's because of gifts they wish for and can't just receive on a regular day, because of lots of emotions, special treats and new experiences ☆ The older you are, the more your attitude usually changes, and simple attention may become more important than any gift (๑˃▽˂)(^▽^ )
For your parents, perhaps a cake is enough, and they have the right to such a modest celebration on their birthdays, but if it's more than just a dessert for you, you have every right to it as well! You deserve a party and presents and even more if you want it because it's your day (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) (The other question is whether you can afford it but no one can stop you from dreaming and telling about your wishes!)
That was really nice of you to give your parents presents — this is how you express your love to them, how you want to make them happy and give them a memorabilia (*´꒳`*) And that's what would make you happy on your birthday, right? ♡
So don't be sad because of their irritated glare — maybe your parents aren't used to receiving gifts or it's just not their love language, but it's not your fault and never a waste of time (úwù) You can ask them what they want on their birthday in order to know what would really make them (and you too) happy! (*'▽'*)
Many things in our life are determined by our attitude towards them. Do you want a big or a modest celebration? This is your choice. Many friends or just your family? As you wish. Party outside or a movie at home with pizza? How it's comfortable for you. Do you want presents, or just some flowers, or nothing at all? Whatever makes you happy. You have the right to any choice, for this is your day.
What if your parents just don't know how to make you happy on your day? You just should tell them how important it is to you and how you want to celebrate your birthday! I believe they'll hear you╰(*´︶`*)╯
(I don't have a good memory either xp So I use a reminder calendar, really useful (ùwú))
And this is such a cute octopus! \(//∇//)\ Looks adorable, you did such a great job! ☆ What animal/character can you also do? *^*
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Alright, Luce! You asked, and you shall receive! *cracks knuckles*
So, first of all, I love how easy their new routine is by now. Sure Moon doesn't need to help Robin up, but both of them want that touch, and just because it's not needed doesn't mean it's not appreciated. Just like their relationship forming, the small gestures help take the effort off the smallest things~
And how they just refer to home! So happy that it's exactly the same place they'll be returning to! Their home. For both of them and because of each of them.
And pfffff, I love them both making lighthearted fun of Sun's own antics. Like Sunny, my beloved, please XD Haha, it's good to know they just have this comfortable dynamic and I don't doubt Sun returns any teasing in kind
And ahhhh, I love that Robin just already knows them so well! It's so very sweet that they immediately pick up on the crowd and get concerned about Moon's comfort! But I'm laughing so much at the approach. Robin, hey you get a reward when we surpass this less than ideal conditions. Moon suddenly doesn't care about the conditions and wants to get home to receive his reward. Then gets annoyed at the crowd for stalling said reward and goes "Nope. Screw waiting. Want reward now" Nevermind that it's not quite a reward in that case but details, details.
I mean, Moon did spend pining a lot in the past, Robin should have known that if the offer included them he wasn't going to be very patient lkghdfskj Self-restraint? Moon broke up with her, doesn't even know her anymore XD
And then we get to the fun part!
Hand half entangled in hair half cupping their face? My, mister, what big hands you have there! (aka I see you).
Oh and he starts with the nipping, getting the teeth and the claws out immediately because he knows. He knows them so well by now and he's making it known, and also he can literally feel how correct he is going by Robin's pulse~
And he just keeps going for all the week spots huh? The trailing fingers on the marks left by clothes because he knows it must be sensitive
And the whole thing about the "still talking" line? Ohoho. And Robin wanting to get more by being a brat? Ohoho!
And! The shirt! He really just ripped that bit of the collar off so easily huh!!! Very- very normal about that yes!
(Actually very normal about all of it, definitely not having to reread to be able to comment and not get distracted, what are you talking about)
Makes sense Robin is clinging to him by now, very hard to stand firmly on the ground with all that's happening there.
But then we also go back to very sweet, with Robin wanting to kiss him too. Give him all that love and attention he also deserves, (though I think there must be also very satisfied to have them like feeling like putty in his arms ghñakh).
And haha I don't think there's much I can say about the last lines of the fic when they say it all sñfdhfñhaf other than I'm very glad to see Moon taking his self appointed duty to make sure Robin gets a good rest veeeeery seriously~
After the delay of work and cryptid sightings insanity, I get to this!
Scratch an Itch (And You) for context!
And yeah!! It was a lot of fun to just depict this normal for them, by then not even all that new anymore! They settled in it, and it's home just like the duplex, and I love letting them enjoy the domesticity of it all. They help each other even when it's not an emergency, but simply because they want to, no matter how small the burden they lift off their partner's shoulders. They're comfortable, and secure!! And I love showing that <3
Same with the Sun teasing! Like, sure, Y/N held back before, but then it's just too fun not to share, and besides, Sun may pretend to be miffed, and play that up - crossing his arms, looking up with a "hmph", but he knows they enjoy these parts of him, too, and that's why they shared!
(Moon gets teased for his gimmick still, and acting like a hissy stray whenever someone mentions "hey you might need to talk with 2+ people". Y/N gets teased for their personalized gadgets and interest/ imitation of spy movies. Everyone gets payback <3)
And look. look. Y/N knows him well, but he still surprises them sometimes <3 So when there's even more people he'd have to keep an eye on he decides to wait it out in the most fun way available >:3c But definitely also "why would I wait if I can just get it now? want it now (:" gfhdj even settled into the relationship he's done pining, he knows what he wants and knows he can get it too <3
Self restraint was a necessity he no longer has to entertain <3 Goodbye, sweet love, you are no longer needed here <3
Look. Look. I have no excuse I am simply. I am predictable and perhaps big hands are a bit of a pleasure for me that I refuse to call a guilty one <3
We're already under the cut so. Look. I just. Projected SO much FHDJSK This shot was aimed at me and all of you are just splash damage <3
The teeth? The claws? The collar rip?
Y/N being a brat?
I just went 100% self indulgence here and I'm very glad I'm not the only victim <3 It still fit both of them, of course, because AU at the core is my AU with what I want to see! Their dynamic works out like that, Y/N is definitely not the type to simply let him do all that, they want in on the action! They also want to have fun, be it through oh so rewarding brattiness or getting his jacket open or kissing him also <3
(That being said, writing this was still fascinating because I am literally only enticed and interested in theory, I simply do not have any interest in relationships like this irl FGHDJSK)
Moon definitely had his fun - making Y/N melt, having them so obviously desperate to also get their hands (and lips) on him, they want him just as much as he wants them, and that's always nice to see <3
He also greatly enjoys that they now have a ruined shirt they need to cover, and hey, would you look at that! He has a jacket he doesn't need! <3
But yes, he takes his role as sleep watch very seriously <3 Gotta make sure they're sooo tired, and then he'll just hold them to their "I'll stack' comment hehe. Keep them close, and enjoy the quiet time once they're snoozing, looking at them and just thinking about how lucky he is <3
(Sun comes to, Y/N passed out on top of him, covered in the evidence of last night's fun... And well, he's a greedy bastard too <3 )
(Edit bc im an awkward mess: I'm hinting at making out only. I'll never even allude to sex, steamy make outs is literally all I'm comfortable with so the evidence is just the bite marks left on their neck and shoulders)
#answer let luce#chaotikanvas#accidentally undercover#cw suggestive#just discussion of it mostly but yknow#anyways this answer is shorter than I thought because I got too flustered to elaborate on the suggestive bits FGHDJS#I wrote this drabble and half my focus was just “where tf are their hands rn”#so that was fun FGDHSJ#the other half was “how do I melt as many people as possible”#and I'd say that was successful! hehe <3#ty for indulging me and telling me which parts hit good <3#makes me wanna write more make out sessions hehe#already have one planned after all <3
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what's your opinion on beronica? do you think anything will actually come of it? there's only 6 episodes left and i'm honestly starting to lean towards there not being any real endgames at all😭 there's like a new ship every other week
Probably not since Ras seems to toss characters to the side the moment they are queer so I'm sure he'll turn his focus to Archie kissing Reggie instead.
Like, the question you have to ask yourself is why now? They've had seven years to tell all kinds of romance stories, to write great friendships between characters that become romantic, to make besties who ride or die, to write a single character at all like an actual human with motivations that make sense. But instead they chose spectacle, and even the spectacle they chose was empty, anticlimactic, and inconsequential.
No amount of last minute fan service or dazzling queerbait or sexual montages is ever going to make up for a shocking lack of talent, structure, or professionalism. We all shrug about it being this quirky problematic shitshow, but I expect in the years to come that the truth will come out about how toxic production of this show really was, and it will shine a new light on all the red flags everyone keeps ignoring.
Right now, I think this show is following the lazy trend in hollywood of "fixing the canon" where writers look up criticisms of their product and attempt to rectify it in the last instalment. Paying the fanservice toll is just a farce. Nothing has changed.
The show gets called out for its lack of feminism, neglect of friendships, certain actors get called out for their treatment of queer fandom and we get this as a result.
I don't think Ras knows a single thing about female friendship or teen girls, I don't think he takes bisexuality seriously either and at points I think he's just being downright biphobic. I think whoever put this idea on the table with sleepovers and musicals to try and cover up his misogyny needs to rethink their career, and I think it's all too little too late to convince me that suddenly they care about telling this story. I expect if they'd had more time Betty would just do to Veronica what she did to Jughead the second Archie changed his mind. I don't think Ras cares about WOC having healthy loving relationships where they receive the respect and attention they deserve. They must always rescue, teach, sacrifice and lose.
As for endgames, I guess it's everyone or no one? Like take all the options off the table but mislead everyone into thinking that a wink or a handshake means something more than it does.
Honestly I am a little suss that resetting the entire universe back to zero is some ploy for a future reboot or comic continuation or something. Or they'll all get absorbed into an alien entity in the last five minutes.
sorry for ranting anon! ☮️
#ask cm#like happy for you if its something you have been waiting for#but these last minute revelations make me question why they never did any of this sooner when they had time to tell these stories in depth#almost like they want the kudos of lip service but never cared about really exploring any of these things for real
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