ok hear me out but what if they were friends? (not likely)

I really wanna see an outfit-swap of these two ladies

I love imagining my different s/is interacting with eachother because oh that’d be so funnn!

today on snails cracked alternate canon of their own creation: the version where lani sinclair and therek aesilon just hang out and talk about history

saw ur post ab the vees and i wasn't sure if u wanted nsfw rambles or sfw rambles so like... i'll send the sfw rambles in a separate ask 😭

anywaysss im thinking ab putting them all in their place.... maybe they're all arguing over you or being pissy to eachother in general so you punish them all- seperately ofc, u cant have them getting off in eachothers pleasure bc ik damn well they'd be into watching you fuck someone else especially another one of the vees

i am always willing to rant about the vees🙏🙏🙏

summary — The Vees being humbled by the reader in the form of loose, unprofessional headcanons and vague thoughts.

warnings — dom reader, sub… everyone else, very messy, not proofread, read at the risk of incoherence

a/n — I HATE THEM SO MUCH!! THEY’RE THE WORST!! Let’s as a society fuck them to tears.

So, unpopular opinion, I’ve see a few ideas of being the vees collective lay or ‘plaything’ fucktoy, and the idea is so much more fun with a dom reader.

And i’m saying that objectively too, like not just as a dom reader blog. Because these are three people who make up the worst aspects of society, and lowkey are basically just manipulation tactics personified. Propaganda the trio!

Looking at these cocky assholes, who are the embodiment of what is considered terrible people, and who all have unmatched mathematically impossibly high egos, would it just be so fun to fuck the pride out of them?

Especially, for example, let’s say you’re around a lot and you’ve become a trusted person a good fuck for the Vees. They all have terrible attention seeking tendencies, so it would be safe to assume they’d be all over you.

Vox would be trying to talk to you about whatever particular subject he thinks is most interesting (about himself) to capture your attention, while Velvette would be close to you as well, flicking her phone your direction to show you something she finds funny or hot, but mainly as a subtle power-play to get your attention off Vox and onto her.

Valentino would be much less subtle, of course, by nature. He’d be all up around you, touching you, running his hands along your shoulder blades as he walks past, and probably the type to ‘drop something’ and bend over to flash you his fishnets and panties.

Needless to say, they’re all pissing each other off immensely. Obviously, being short tempered people, this leads to an argument because Velvette was ‘talking to you first’ but Vox had ‘actually important things to say’ and according to Valentino ‘the two of you were boring them out of their minds’ and he had to ‘spice your day up.’

Unfortunately for the Vees, you don’t do your one ‘job.’ Your attention isn’t given to any one of them. Yet. You just simply sit on the couch, scrolling through your phone and flicking through channels. Maybe you even actually leave the tower and go eat out or something.

Of course, until later when you pick them off one by one. And no matter who you decide to fuck senseless first, they will be so obviously loud just to be petty because, after all, you did choose them first. Like they would be being obnoxiously vocal about how ‘full they are’ or how ‘you’re going so fast!’ or some other fake shit like that. It’s honestly a whole show. Now, I feel like fucking all of them at the same time is kind of inevitable, because they’re all deprived horny freaks on the lowkey. (Except for Val it’s very highkey.) But I think there would be little mannerisms that appear on one on one sessions that they would NEVER show during a foursome. For example, Vox’s certain… titles he uses. mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink. Because he would literally die before calling you mommy or daddy in front of Velvette or Val. It’s okay when it’s just you because it’d be easier to be vulnerable around someone he trusts to set his dominance fully aside for.

And like, yeah, the other Vees know he gets fucked just like the rest of them, but it’s simpler for him to keep his illusion of dominance and respect out side of the bedroom, if the more shamefully submissive aspects of himself stayed hidden.

Also, I think Valentinos would have an easier time actually giving into to subbing during one on one sessions. Like yes, he does sub when it’s with you all the time. That’s the point of the fic.

But he’s less of a power bottom, and his flirtatious, incredibly disgusting remarks subside much faster into whimpers and whining.

Because, although less professional than Vox, he does still have an image. And when it’s just you fucking him, his vile horny comments disappear into whines for your attention in no time. Well actually a lot of time, but the point is that they actually do. And similar to Valentinos, Velvette’s confidence when bottoming alone with you is increasingly less apparent. Yea, she’s still bossy and definitely a power bottom, but there’s more of a recognition that she isn’t in charge. Honestly, she’s such a princess I think she’d actually have a very hard time going into subspace, even when alone. Because degradation just pisses her off. Why aren’t you worshipping her like you should be? But then it’s, what the fuck, why aren’t you worshiping her like you should be?? It makes her brat out even harder, which she does show in front of the other Vees, until she’s actually just needy to be pleased and given pleasure, making her twice as whiny. That aspect she does not show in front of the vees. But let’s talk about group sex with the Vees. Probably only used as a severe punishment, or a surprisingly giving reward. I have a very particular scene for the severe punishment aspect, however. So they’ve all been bad, but let’s say, for the sake of specifics to set the scene, Val has been worse. It is still a punishment for Vox and Velvette, but punishing them all to the same extent when Val has misbehaved clearly more would be wrong, would it not? They’re all greedy, selfish assholes, so you’ve concocted the perfect form of torture for your useless brats; they don’t receive anything until they’re good. Especially Val. Velvette has a strap on, so she can’t even feel anything but minor friction when you slide your worked open ass onto the plastic dick and open your legs, exposing your empty pussy to none other than Vox. He eats you out reluctantly, while rutting into the mattress as fast as he could, all while you cockwarm (and sometimes roll your hips to press the strap against her pussy uncomfortably) Velvette. Oh, and where’s Valentino? Tied up in a chair in front of the bed, getting a perfect shot while being totally naked and hard. You have a gag in his mouth too, because otherwise he’d be complaining the whole time. Because that’s just not fair, is it? He does this all day for a living. Seriously, he watches people fuck all day. It was his turn to feel something! And you would only have punished him more if he’d done something about this at work today. (Yikes..) I mean, this sounds like complete and utter bullshit. A lose-lose situation! But, it actually is completely fair. And as you’re receiving all the pleasure, from Velvettes feelingless, fake dick, Vox’s tongue while he humps the bed pathetically, and Val’s whines in complaint, you know the punishment is working. You’ve bothered them behind belief, you’ve hit a spot you knew would leave a message. Because none of the attention is on our poor little trio at all. These naturally selfish, greedy people, have to finally give. And god, they’re becoming more desperate for your attention and praise by the second.

a/n — We all know I love sub Vox. But this opened by eyes to how much I love sub Velvette and Valentino. REQUEST THEM ALL MORE.

Also, Rose, I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU FOR A FIRE ASF PROMPT.

if this flops im throwing myself out of a window btw

“I still hate you,” Tony mutters, voice shaky and entirely unconvinced while his hand expertly unbuckles the clasps of the uniform he designed so carefully, months and months and months ago.

“I know,” Steve responds gruffly. His beard scratches Tony’s jaw as those perfect teeth run down the thin skin of his neck, trace his jugular. His hands are rough iron clamps against each side of Tony’s beautifully tailored Versace two-piece. The fabric will be ruined beyond repair in less than ten minutes - Tony could bet his fortune on it.

They’ve played this stupid game before. Every time, Tony swears it’ll be the last.

Steve hitches him up onto the kitchen counter of the ridiculous New Jersey safehouse, and Tony goes willingly, yanking Steve into the open spread of his legs. This is the closest Steve’s gotten to New York since he first read those damned accords. The closest he can get to home is some 1965-styled kitchenette with pictures of old-timey adverts lining the walls and a microwave that’d probably irradiate you if you went near it.

It’s wrong- all of it. But there’s no changing it. Steve made his choice long ago, and Tony hates him for it. He should remember that. He should tell Steve that again.

“Fuck, God, Steve,” is what comes out instead, breathed against the other man’s mouth. Tony’s whole body is hot, taught, desperate, and he tugs the top half of Steve’s uniform off his torso. Steve spray painted over the colours- the whole thing is dark now, void of any trace of what it used to be. Tony hates that too.

“Tony,” Steve says, like there’s more to it- a name at the beginning of a sentence which never comes out. He clasps his teeth over Tony’s bottom lip, pushes his hands under Tony’s rapidly-wrinkling shirt and brushes his thumbs over each nipple, rubbing quick circles. The movement pulls another noise from Tony’s throat.

Fuck- the man knows him.

Steve steadies himself for a moment to catch his breath, nose brushing against Tony’s. Tony tries not to look into his eyes, whenever they do this. He’s never been good at seeing Steve’s soul - the one he never tries to hide, to mask. He’s not like Tony, you see. Everything he does, he does earnestly and from the heart.

The decision he made to leave with Bucky - to keep the culprit of Tony’s parents’ deaths a secret from him - they’d both come from that same heart. Hence, no eye contact. Tony has no desire to see how truly insignificant the space he takes up in Steve’s soul was.

Except now.

He does it without meaning to- just catching sight of those infuriating baby blues as he leans in for another messy kiss. Error number 1.

Error number 2 is not shutting his damn eyes and grabbing Steve’s dick like he normally does.

And error number 3 is the worst. Error number 3 is when he catches sight of Steve’s suddenly agonised expression, doesn’t ignore it, and instead asks “what?” Thus inviting conversation. They don’t come here for that. They come here to fuck eachother’s brains out for a night and then keep playing their cat-and-mouse chase across the globe as if anyone in a position of authority actually fucking believes it.

Steve goes perfectly still for a moment. Then he swallows. “This… this really makes you miserable, doesn’t it.”

He doesn’t frame it like a question.

Tony looks up at him, breathing hard. “Oh, I’m sorry I’m not looking ecstatic while getting groped by my ex boyfriend in a place that’s decked out like a prop house in a nuclear testing site. Would you prefer for me to giggle jovially while you fuck me amongst the dust and cobwebs?”

They’d used to have sex that was so full of love. This is how Tony always talks to Steve, now.

Steve shakes his head, a minute, grieving little thing. Tony feels the man’s breath skating across his face- feels the warmth of his bare chest, his shoulders, pressing against Tony.

“I thought…” he begins, then trails off for a moment as Tony skirts his hands down his chest, unlatches his belt. “I thought this made you happy. At least a little bit, even if you didn’t admit it. But it doesn’t. ”

Of course it doesn’t. But it’s all I have left of you.

“You think I’m coming here to find happiness? Jesus Steve. I’m coming here for tension relief,” Tony says, because he just can’t be truthful- he did his best when they were together, he really did, and it all failed anyway. Besides: Steve was never as truthful as Tony had always so fervently believed him to be either. “How about we both just stop talking and get down to that part.”

He gets his hands all the way to Steve’s boxers before Steve stops him- a gentle yet utterly unmoving grip. When Tony looks up at him again, Steve shakes his head. He’s grey in the face- if Tony didn’t know better now, he’d even say heartbroken.

“Tony, I…” Steve’s struggling for the words and he looks so beautiful, so so beautiful, just the same as the very first time Tony laid eyes on his photograph in the SHIELD folder he’d hacked his way into. “I didn’t realise you felt that way. Or maybe I did, but just didn’t want to acknowledge it because I was selfish.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I can’t do this with you. To you.” Steve steps away jerkily, half his body lagging while the other half pulls, as if warring with his own system. His pale skin is patchy, covered in faint marks where Tony has grabbed him. “I thought we were both doing this for enjoyment, but you’re not, and so I can’t. It’s cruel.”

Tony realises what Steve is implying here. His heart - what’s left of the poor thing anyway - convulses in panic, and he stumbles off the counter. “I’m not a fucking dog,” he snaps, “I make my own choices.”

“You don’t even look at me,” Steve’s voice breaks then. “I wished more than anything that you’d look at me. But I just saw it, then, when you did.”

“Saw what?”

They’re facing off against one another now - it’s like they can’t stop themselves. They have to be on either side of the argument, they can never just agree, no matter how hard they both want to. Tony hates and hates and hates.

“Your eyes don’t lie to me, Tony.” Steve’s voice is soft, and he says it like that alone is enough. “Your mouth does. And you don’t want this.”

“See, do you see what you’re doing here, again?” Tony steps forward, smashes his finger against the place where the star used to sit proudly on Steve’s chest. “You’re making an executive decision about how I feel, as to what I need, when you don’t have that right. You don’t get to decide what’s best for me!”

“But you never do what’s best for you!” Steve’s hands flail helplessly. “You do what’s best for everyone else, or what you think you deserve, and you never think about how it’s going to hurt—“

“I DESERVED TO KNOW MY PARENTS WERE MURDERED, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!”

Tony was supposed to be making his way to an orgasm right about now - instead he suddenly feels so angry he can hardly breathe. Fucking typical. He just had to go and open his mouth, didn’t he?

He glares at the man who tore his heart out over a year ago. Steve looks back, his expression shattered. Tony feels angrier still when he realises that he’s never going to be able to see this person in front of him and not love him. He’s trying so hard, right now, and he can’t. Even after all this. He can’t find it in him.

“Just fuck me,” Tony says, and it comes out more exhausted than demanding.

Steve shakes his head. “I can’t.”

Right. Steve’s made up his mind about what’s best for tony. Again. Was it ever going to go any other way?

Sometimes, the tiredness goes so deep that Tony starts to feel it in his bones. His therapist says it’s psychosomatic- that bones don’t actually creak and groan like wooden doors in abandoned houses. Tony begs to differ.

“If we stop now, this is the last time you’ll ever see me,” he says, hoping, even now, that maybe something will change. That maybe for once, Steve will just put him first.

It’s a pipe dream. Tony comes to that realisation as soon as Steve shakes his head. Stupid.

“Maybe that’s for the best.” Steve’s voice is hoarse. Like each word is painful. Tony wishes that were true - in reality, he doesn’t doubt Steve is just wary of the fight his words will bring - the argument that’ll erupt out of Tony’s mouth in response.

But Tony’s done fighting. It’s a losing battle. Always has been.

He looks at Steve. Nods.

He walks out of the door without another word.

OUR LIFE BEGINNINGS AND ALWAYS // SPOILERS FOR THE DLCS IN STEP 2 for both Cove and Derek!

In which two friends like their other best friend.

COVE / DEREK X READER (head cannons might make a oneshot 🤞🤞)

— reaction

Cove is kinda confused, he never really expected Derek to like you in that way, he never really got any signs (Derek was trying to hide it) but he wouldn’t be upset or anything. You’re all friends in the end, besides Derek was being considerate trying to hide his feelings for everyone else’s sake.

Chalks it up to “Well who wouldn’t like MC?”

(Final warning for Derek dlc spoilers!!)

Derek has always been aware of Coves crush since it’s super obvious to everyone. In his DLC if you tell him you thought he was cute he admits his first impression of you was that you are cute too! So I think after he hangs out with you and Cove for the first time he realizes early on that Cove already likes you so he’d just try to act like nothing but the more you hang out the harder ignoring his feelings get. Derek’s reaction to Cove finding that out that he likes you would be worried cause he doesn’t want to make anything weird. Cove wouldn’t throw their friendship away just cause he’s got a crush on you. Derek would go down a spiral of “what if Cove hates me.” “What if they both never speak to me again.” So just make sure he knows you’re not going to ghost him over this😭

more in cut!!

Extra hcs for u!!🫶🫶

How would people figure out both derek and cove like you?

ft — Mr Holden, Moms, Elizabeth, Lee, Kyra! In that order!!

Derek was over for lunch with everyone and at the table it was just too obvious. They knew Cove liked you but they hadn’t really payed mind to how Derek acted until then. Cove still would have been completely oblivious to it. At home Mr. Holden would say something like “so, you have competition huh sport?” with zero context and wouldn’t further explain when coves all lost. Cliff decides not to break it to him💀Maybee if it comes up sometime he’d give cove advice like in the soirée DLC where he makes him to bring you a flower! He’d always be up to help out cove but cove would be too embarrassed to ask😭

For the moms they’d just tease you how they do with cove and they’d also just mess with Derek in the same manner. Probably not around Cove so he wouldn’t catch on😭 when they’re feeling out of pocket they’ll say something to you both like “I wonder what has him all nervous” once derek is out the room and just laugh while shushing eachother.

Elizabeth canonically knows and she doesn’t care who hears her when she says things lmfaoo

it’s not super regular she hangs out with you since she does her own thing but I feel like she’d be down to gossip about it all the time like. “ELIZABETH GUESS WHAT-” and that’s literally the only time she lets you in her room without arguing about knocking or telling you you’re being annoying 😭

Lee knows every detail she’s so invested lowkey she’d instigate just a little but nothing comes out of it because it’s Cove and Derek. You can’t leave this girl in a room with one of them because she’ll say somethingg 😓

“Hey Cove, didn’t derek ditch soccer’s practice to hang out with [MC]? It’s so unusual of him huh? To willingly SKIP a day to hang out with them..”

“Not really? I think it’s nice, he needs breaks once in a while.”

And then when Lee gets Derek alone for like 5 minutes;

“Hey Derek- do you think [MC] and Cove are cute?”

“Huh? Oh- well yeah [MC] is has the prettiest eyes and they’re so cool and funny and amazing- Coves a awesome guy too but I’m not interested like that ya know?”

“I meant cute.. like together. ”

“Oh. ”

Kyra time!! She’s the bestt

She noticed your little love triangle in that one trip to the mall while she was spying on all of you. The little drink share?? Derek blushing when you snuck up on him and Cove too freaked out to let you drink his smoothie?? She almost got caught by cove when he heard her laugh but he just wrote it off as him hearing things.

She TRIES to help Cove take you places because he drags you to the beach every other day 😭 like “Hey babyyy, you’re not hanging out with [MC] today?”

“Not today, they’re out helping Derek with his brothers today.”

“Oh alright, maybe tomorrow? I can take you two out some place? Maybe the tropical place again.”

“yeah I guess? I’ll ask them if they can later! Thanks mom.”

eh. might as well post this now. a few of these are wish fulfillment rather than actual theorizing but explanations under the cut

i have an alchemy hyperfixation and all the alchemy stuff in tmagp makes me very excited so a lot of my theories are related to that

spoilers for the pilot btw

main character gets an eye injury - the image will not leave my head. in the magnus institute ruins statement there was this whole thing about redcanary having some kind of encounter with or experience with eye trauma and that feels like something thats just. gonna come up again

another mechanisms va - self explanatory, we need to complete the set. would love to hear kofi or rachel.

gwen has trauma related to something that happened with elias - this is going on the theory that she’s not elias’ counterpart, but a relative of some kind. something spooky happens to him and that pushes gwen to research the paranormal.

character referencing nicholas flamel - all the main characters have names that reference alchemists, and nicholas flamel is probably the most famous alchemist of all time. i doubt he’ll be given the smirke treatment because that kinda already happened with the transphobic wizard books, but someone could be sharing his name.

mag 114 statement is relevant - thats the. hill top road statement that deals with other realities, and anya (the statement giver) could be from the protocol verse. we could totally hear about the aftermath of her departure

alice/sam/gwen = three primes - the three main alchemical symbols on the OIAR crest, and a good sort of symbolic trio sorter. the three peimes are salt, sulphur and mercury, and are the basis for alchemy. the down to earth, reliable salt, the firey, unpredictable sulfur, and the adaptable, easygoing mercury. i think these could apply i just want to have it called out in universe

lena is a good person - i don’t think they’d pull the evil boss thing twice. i just think lena’s weird mannerisms are from her autistic swag

celia is related to or is agnes - (related to as in. her story involves agnes, not that shes like. a sister.) this comes from a theory by @/pinklotjeart, i think. basically: through the way her death was described (spark returned to the lightless flame) and some timeline discrepancies and general avatarness making it weird, agnes might not be Dead dead. and celia’s counterpart, lynne - well, she saw a fire ghost. also, both her and agnes are the only non one-off characters who have shakespeare names afaik. agnes MONTAGUE, celia from as you like it…

annabelle cane is related somehow - self explanatory, she was at hilltop road when everything went down. might have been pulled in.

a famous alchemist is robert smirke’d - self explaining, give me more canon historical figures jonny

another kitty cat - i want more kitty in podcast is that a crime

augustus is not jonah - we hear jonah’s voice as ben meredith in 193, so im skeptical that tim fearon’s character is jonah for that reason.

oiar group has a messy moment that devolves into actual physical violence - mmm angst i think they deserve to smack eachother around a bit

bonzo cult - yeah.

oiar found family - we got the group of coworkers that hate each other angst last time gimme the “hurting one to get to the others” and self sacrifice angst this time

colin dies early - mmmm i cant say much about this bc its based on one throwaway line at the MCM panel where jonny doesn’t mention colin in the main character group. so . death flags.

oiar is containing the entities scp style - this was a super early theory of mine, either this or theyre using them for power or energy in some way. even more heavy handed capitalism metaphors yay

someone gets ushanka’d - its computer horror: the podcast. that’s all

cookbook statement - a few clues in the ARG had to do with cookbooks, and alex and jonny have already said they’re getting weird with the statement formats (they mentioned an insurance report!) so. cookbook doesn’t seem too far-fetched

tiktoker/influencer character - archives was 2010s and they had a podcaster and youtuber, which were like. the big things. whats the hip trend now??? instagram and tiktok baybee

protocol editors va a small role a la mag 100 or the wtgfs cult - those characters were voiced by other rq team members (ie helen as laverne and martyn as robin) and the team has since expanded!! some editors dis stuff for cry havoc, so im guessing nico, annie, april and others will get a small role!

a villain’s goal is creating the philosopher’s stone or other alchemical thing - tmagp is heavily inspired by alchemy, and the philosopher’s stone was the main goal of alchemy!! it would grant you eternal knowledge snd the ability to turn lead into gold- which seems like a good. evil dude’s ambition

the desolation gets more focus - the institute burned down, the oiar crest has a lot of sulfur symbols (the fire element), alchemy as a whole having to do with fire, celia and her connection- it paints a very. lightless flame picture

trip to germany - a lot of the arg was set in and around berlin, and there was that exchange between sam and colin about german in the pilot! i could see a germany trip happening in the same way jon took a trip to china and america.

HOW YOU GET THE GIRL

Mat Barzal x fem!oc

Series Masterlist

ONE

I only like the bookstore during the night, when it’s slow and nobody’s around. The lights are flickering and the town suddenly goes quiet in contrast with the bustle of the busy mornings and heavy traffic of the day.

I only work here on the weekends for the closing shifts or the opening ones. Something to make a little more money to fall back on besides my adult corporate job. My parents are proud, more my father than my mother that I’ve begun my climb up the corporate ladder.

I don’t hate my job, far from it. Simply the long hours and bossy bosses that make me pull at my fingers and tug at my hair. Especially with my youth and admitted naivety, those at my job can be wary about me either in the break room or being hesitant to invite me out for drinks.

I’ve been told by my therapist that I rushed my childhood, skipping grades and taking collage classes while also taking highschool classes at the same time. I want to fight her on it, claim that I did have a childhood and had dreams but I know that I’m defending something I never had.

Two parents who were always fighting; hated eachother but swore to stay together because of their vows, “Hey Bella” I smile at the older lady standing at the counter as I tuck behind into the back room and set my purse onto the table and wrapping my apron around my body, “slow day?” I ask as I switch from heels to converse.

“Yeah, it’s the middle of the school season so all the kidlets are probably studying” she sighs out rubbing her tired eyes, “ok, I’m off. Be safe. Please” she reminds me as she pats my shoulder, “I’ll need you to come in a bit earlier tomorrow for the opening shift, we’re getting a new shipment of books for the month”

“Uhh, yeah yeah I can do that, so 5:30 instead of six?” I clarify, as I clock myself in on the timetable next to the register.

“Yes, thank you Emma. You’re a doll” She smiles and blows me a kiss exiting the building as the cold wind brushes against her; gently pulling at the greying blonde hair that’s always been tucked into a a little bun.

I turn on some music to keep my mind from straying as I walk around the store. Gently brushing my fingers against the creased spines and occasional leather covered book. Those nice collectors editions are always Romeo and Juliet, or Hamlet.

Personally I’ve thought Romeo and Juliet a bit childish and immature, but I’ve always been told I’m looking at it from a modern perspective. I believe that Romeo and Juliet is the way to not fall in love.

But then again, that’s coming from the girl who watched her parents try and fix an already broken marriage by having an abundance of kids and forcing themselves to stay together even though, everyone’s known they’d be better apart. Even their own kids.

I tidy up the reading corner, setting the old book. Princess and the pea back onto the shelf and searching for the one tomorrow.

My my fingers pull and push against the covers of the kids books, looking for something different. I don’t pay attention when the bell jingles and jangles while I hear a heavy step quickly become softer. I hear them physically relax as they walk the isles.

I eventually decide on a book with a unicorn and a blonde girl. Something I fondly remember of my own childhood.

I stretch up a little and let my hair down from its clip, it falls unevenly against my shoulders but I don’t mind or even care that much. This bookstore is my happy place; where I am safe and content within my own body. Here I will never care what I look like.

I view the man searching in the fiction section, something specific I can tell by his body language. If he needs help I’ll allow him to ask; yet I’m wary of going up to a man and guiding him to the book.

When he finally notices me watching him he turns around and asks, “do you know where I can find ‘The road’ it’s uh. Geez by I think by Cormac McCarthy?” He stumbles out; slowly dragging a hand across his face and brushing his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes.

His face is soft but sharp; his eyes evoke a warm bubbly feeling inside me. Eyes that make me feel comfortable being alone with him, “yes, I believe we only have a few left” I tell him, walking off to a different section of the store, “I know, our shop is set up weird” I explain.

“And why’s that?” He inquires, his pace isnt rushed or faster than mine. But relaxed and nonchalant. As if he has all the time in the world.

“The original owners, she has a special section called ‘Meine Leibe’ which I think translates to ‘My loves’ or ‘my life’ once she passed her daughter kept it the same so this little section would always be here for her. I find it endearing” I know I ramble on a bit but I’ve suddenly grown afraid of having a silence against the two of us

“It is, it’s just a little place with all her favorite books?” He keeps asking, as I turn into the cozy little corner. I thumb through the alphabetical order.

“Yeah, her favorite chair, pillows. Shannon was such a kind lady” I reminisce, “here is The Road, is there anything else I can help you with? Or will that be all for today?”

“Uhh, ha unless you have ‘The deal’ by Elle Kennedy then I’ll take that too” I think he’s being sarcastic but I can’t really tell.

“I think we do, are you a hockey fan?” I ask walking to the romance section.

“I guess you could say that, do you watch?” He asks, “do you need a hand?”

“I watch a bit, just the New Jersey Devils with my dad. Yeah it’s just above there” I point, even on my tip toes the store has ceiling high bookshelves. And because it’s night the ladders been locked up. I move to the side as he grabs the book.

“Are you from Jersey?”

“Yeah, I lived there before I came to New York for a work deal”

“I’m going to assume it’s not this job.. right?” As he makes his way to the register and I slink behind the counter

“Yeah, my uh big girl job as my mom likes to address it as” I hear the roll in my eyes as I scan the bar codes and ring him up, “will that be with cash or card?”

“Card” He pulls his wallet out of the front pocket of his jacket, “thank you”, he checks for my name eyes staring just above but also at my chest.

I poke my eyebrows up at him praying to god this man isn’t looking at my tits directly; not even with the slightest bit of discretion.

“I’m uh looking for your name to thank you— I swear I’m not looking at your uh. You know boobs” he almost whispers out the last bit before continuing, “not that they aren’t nice or anything but uh” the tips of his ears turn pink and his cheeks suddenly become flushed, “I will just pay now” he groans out softly; handing me his card and rubbing his eyes with his hands.

I ring him up and he puts his pin in, “thank you again, you never told me your name” he questions for that piece of information

“Emma”

“Thank you Emma, have a good evening” he purses his lips and grabs his books. Hands shaking as he smiles and starts to leave.

“You too, wait” I lean over the bar slightly, “you never told me your name?”

“Mat”

“Alright then, have a good evening Mat. Come back soon”

The door jingles as he leaves and I watch him through the window, I see him sigh and smack his books against his head. Though I don’t exactly hear what he says; noises muffled through the glass and the music.

“Huh. What a strange guy”

Which voices do you ship with eachother? I mean, I've already seen Opportunist/Skeptic (which I haven't seen much of in the fandom and I really like your take on them btw ^^) and Smitten/Cold come by, but are there other pairings or dynamics you haven't got to draw yet, but would like to?

Haven’t been too big on the Voice shipping scene aside from jokes but sure, fuck it, let them by gay.

The Opportunist Skeptic comic was meant to be interpreted however people liked, but I think Skeptic’s inquisitive nature and somewhat reassuring presence by sounding like he knows what he’s doing, and Opportunist’s need for validation and to be wanted go pretty well together.

Contrarian and Hero sound fun, because of the Stranger route it’s almost like they know each other the best, except Contrarian is still a little shit, but Hero has a relatively high tolerance given what he puts up with, so they’d have fun banter probably.

I think Cheated with anyone would be funny, particularly Stubborn, they’re like drinking friends that had a little side thing that went a little two far and now they hold hands and they both love hate it.

Smitten and Cold is like a crack ship to me, if you lot are more invested in it y’all can try to change my mind on that one, it’s not like I’m deep set on that opinion.

Paranoid’s a really fun character, I guess he’d get along well with Hunted, they’re both so afraid of everything, might as well be afraid together. Or get kidnapped in winter, that works too I suppose.

Hero and Paranoid too btw, their dialogue when you choose to go upstairs with the Nightmare is fantastic, their tense yet silly quarrel and back and forth with the Narrator was amazing and part of it was even one of the first things I drew for stp. Them arguing was also my first impression of the game, so yeah, they can be gay too.

Idk what else at the moment, these are just the thoughts I had at the moment. I try to go in depth with my responses because if I like to read that kind of ramble shit, I know others might too.

Something cool for yan harem would be if darling used them against eachother. Like they tell one character that another is doing smth bad so they’d argue and leave darling alone! or maybe even telling one character another char tried to help them escape so that character will be like kicked out

🪼

* YOOO THIS IS SO SMARTTT

* Also!! The stuff written in italics means that the hybrids are speaking in their native language and the reader doesn't understand what's being said!!

Yandere Harem darling purposefully starting fights

Being in a harem of sorts was always rough.

Too many people trying to touch you, to talk to you, to look at you.

It's incredibly overwhelming. You just want to be left alone because you honestly can't take it anymore.

Which is when you realized something.

This little 'harem' of yours fights a lot. And when they fight, it gives you a chance to slip away and have some alone time. What an advantage!

So here you were, sitting with Zack in the living room as he absent-mindedly rubs your back. Zack is nice enough, still insane but he's nice. But you're so sick of people near people. Earlier you were forced to have breakfast with the Twins, then you were traded off to Villain - which is always terrible - and now you were with Zack.

You're tired and your body is still sore from how aggressively Villain showed her 'love' towards you. So why not stir the pot a little and possibly get some alone time?

"Elijah told me something the other day."

Zack's ears perked up at the sound of your voice but his expression soured at the mention of Elijah. The wolf hybrid HATES Elijah, and for good reason.

"What'd he say?"

Zack continued to rub your back, although his tail slowly swayed in irritation from the topic of Elijah.

"He said you're a dirty mutt."

Is it a bit on the nose? A little. It might've been obvious that you were trying to purposefully start shit, but you knew Zack wouldn't think too much about it. He trusted you, after all. And he just really hates Elijah.

"Excuse me?"

Zack stopped rubbing your back and he stared at you, his eyebrows furrowed. You stared back, trying to appear like an innocent messenger.

"Mhm. He said that you're a dumb dog, and that you'll never be more than a 'defect'. Whatever that means."

You knew what a defect was. A hybrid who can't use magic. But you figured it would be better if you acted like you didn't know the meaning of the word.

"What? Oh, that little..."

Zack's voice lowers to a growl and he abruptly stands up, leaving the living room to find Elijah. You follow him, just to make sure your little lie worked.

"Elijah! Get your ass over here!"

Zack yells in a foreign language that you don't understand, but you can tell that he's pissed off. The shouting kinda gave it away.

"What?"

Elijah walks out from one of the many rooms, his sister following close behind. Elijah seems irritated, his tail flicking occasionally.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would you trash talk me to my beloved? I mean, I KNOW why, but still!"

You wish you could understand the strange language the hybrids spoke. It's always interesting to see Zack lose his cool since he's normally so relaxed, so you've always wanted to hear what it was he was saying.

"What are you even talking about? I didn't do anything of the sort. Probably."

Elijah let out a sharp exhale and his pupils narrowed to slits. Bonnie was looking at her brother and then at Zack before she chimed in.

"Don't say 'MY beloved'. They belong to ALL of us. But mostly me and Elijah."

Whatever Bonnie said seemed to have set off Zack even more because his fur started to bristle.

"Shut up! I wasn't even talking to you! And what the hell do you mean 'probably'? That's basically admitting that you did!"

Zack snapped at Bonnie before shouting at Elijah again. The Twins peeked their heads around the corner to see what the ruckus was about, snickering at the scene in front of them.

"Man, you are SO annoying. You're like a yapping dog."

Elijah rolled his eyes and Bonnie nodded in support for her creep of a brother. Zack's tail lashed and he let out another low growl before he started to shout at Elijah again. The bickering just got worse and worse and more people were coming to see what the deal was.

As the fight continued, more people started to chime in. With Karro telling the two to shut up and Royalty threatening to kill someone if the fighting doesn't stop, which prompted Logan to freak out and try to calm Zack and Elijah.

Everyone was focused on this stupid fight. No eyes on you. Which was perfect.

You quietly slipped away, heading up to the attic. You were worried that maybe Forgotten or Andras would be up here since they weren't down watching the fight, but both strange entities were nowhere to be seen.

You let out a sigh of relief and trudge over to the bed in the attic, flopping on the mattress. It wasn't complete silence since you could hear the loud bickering from downstairs through the floor, but it was better than being smothered by all the maniacs that call themselves your lovers.

You got into a position you found comfortable and pulled the blanket over you, shutting your eyes. This was a good chance to get some rest without having to feel unwanted hands on your body or warm breathing on your neck.

You should have done this sooner, honestly. Every one of them were constantly on the edge of ripping the rest of the harem apart. They were all so easy to get riled up! Well, most of them were.

But the amount doesn't matter. As long as there's two of them, which there is, that'll fight each other, then your little plan would work!

Is it a bit evil to manipulate a situation where fighting breaks out? Yes. But everyone here deserved it for being such suffocating, obsessive maniacs. So you didn't feel bad, and you never would.

Because you really needed this small break in order to not lose your mind.

Question: Does anyone ship Ruth and Max / accept them as a ship? I don’t necessarily ship them but I have seen ZERO CONTENT for them at all. Like I think I’ve seen them shipped with anyone BUT eachother.

Because I feel like there are a couple moments in NPMD that if Max had a redemption arc, point to Ruthwell being the funniest situationship ever (ei: them both being very blatantly horny and the only two in the show to talk about watching porn, the fact that he specifically calls out the skele’un as being ‘really special’ and Ruth BLUSHING over it, Max’s weird petting of her underwear after he kills her and puts it over her head?? Also if Ruth was actually a prude, she’d probably be very similar to Grace and we all know he’s got that weird thing for her) Idk if they didn’t hate eachother, I think they’d make either the most hilariously annoying enemies to bestie duo or the most disgustingly freaky FWB ever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I haven’t seen anyone ship them at all so I’m like “does nobody like this pairing? Is there a market for it in the fandom?” I can’t be the only one to think of this ship. Thoughts? OTP, BroTP, or NoTP?

Hot take: If you hate Bayverse Casey then why dont you hate Cassandra?

Here’s the thing everyone hates bayverse Casey because he is a cop…. But Cassandra aka rise Casey used to be apart of the Foot Clan. Both being groups that every other version of Casey Jones hates. Except cops less than the Foot Clan.

Course every other version of Casey has an obvious dislike for cops but they dont express it nearly as much as their hatred for the Foot. They hate the Foot Clan and they say it multiple times some of the Caseys more than others.

If someone says “the Caseys would hate Bayverse!” Then wouldn’t they in turn hate Cass too? If we’re using that logic they’d probably hate her more because she used to be apart of the Foot.

You cant really say anything about how the Caseys would feel about Bayverse without it going for Rise as well and vise-versa. Bayverse and Rise Casey parallel eachother. By the end of their movies/shows they left the group they were apart of. Bayverse got fired and didnt go back to being a cop and Cass left the Foot Clan.

My theory is that even though most people hate Bayverse Casey because he’s a cop is also because he never got enough screen time. If he was in the first movie or if we got another Bayverse movie with him in it then we would’ve maybe gotten more depth to him and maybe more people would like him more.

Plus Casey’s concept is that he hates *order*. And Bayverse Casey has just about as much order as a 14 year old’s bedroom.

Obviously im not saying you have to love bayverse Casey or you have to hate Cass im just spewing my thoughts🤷‍♂️

In conclusion: Bayverse Casey is my babygirl and he does no wrong ever

Tiktok: m1nor.inconven1ence

HEYY girl 💗 could I req a bam x fem reader where they’re enemies to lovers becuase y/n is just as reckless as he is?? Thank you 🫶

The Stuntgirl Rule

Bam breaks the one rule the crew all agreed on when they first added a girl to the group, which wouldn’t be as big of a deal if they didn’t hate each other. All this animosity builds and builds until Y/N finally figures out how to knock Bam down a peg.

Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, Angst)

3.8k Words

Warnings: Extremely suggestive content, enemies to lovers, crude language, blood, snakes, misogyny, Madonna-Whore complex, injuries, hospitals, flirting, slut shaming, situationships

An: Thank you so much for the request!! I’ve come to find out I really do love writing for enemies to lovers pairings :) More than that, I got to do a lot of research for this fic with psychological complexes, especially (as the tags indicate) the Madonna-Whore complex!! If you can’t tell by now, I’m a bit of a nerd when it comes to writing XD I also experimented with making Bam a bit of an unreliable narrator in this one to wort of show his thought process better. I’ve been told my writing takes the asshole out of him but I’m pretty sure this fic put it right back in, so be warned! If you want an idea of the dynamic I was going for, the dynamic betwen Bam and Y/N reminded me a lot of this clip from the 2016 revival of the musical, Falsettos! Ah, my theater kid past…But thank you for the request and please keep sending more!!

Kneeling on the grass, you sat eye to eye with the King Cobra you somehow got a permit to film with. The whole “Kiss of Death” stunt got shuffled around to a couple of the other guys before it landed on you but hell, you couldn’t complain- dangerous shit was kinda your thing, and otherwise the next person in line would’ve been Bam and you knew exactly how that would turn out- the yelling, the laughing, the storming off set. All the guys stood around, looming over you with bated breaths as you slowly leaned over the snake, the hot Florida sun beating down on your skin as the air swam with anticipation. But as you were creeping in, right before your lips made contact with the Cobra’s forehead, the thing lunged at your neck. Everybody hooted and hollered as you grabbed the snake and lurched back in an act of quick reflexes, chuckling in surprise, but before you could crack some wise ass joke, your cockiness betrayed you and that smug grin on your face was wiped right off your face when you felt a pair of fangs sink into your wrist. “Agh! Fuck…” Yanking your hand back, you shook out the sting as you stumbled to your feet. Steve, who was serving as impromptu cameraman after Rick ‘refused any part in your dangerous bullshit’, focused the lense in on the blood that was tricking from your arm, “Shit…that’s gnarly, dude.” Though you probably should have been concerned for yourself, you couldn’t stop thinking about how awesome it looked as Johnny patted you on the back appreciatively, “That was great, Y/N!”

As you were getting walked to the medic tent, the only one who didn’t want any part in your little victory parade was Bam, still sitting half slumped back on set, glaring at you as you walked away. Big whoop, girl gets bit by snake. Last week he got on a teeter totter in the bullpen and you don’t see that on any headlines. Maybe he hated the way the guys talked and joked with you like you were one of them even though you joined the Jackass cast less than a month ago. On the other hand, maybe he was still pissed off by the very real but entirely unspoken ‘Don’t Fuck the Stuntgirl’ rule. Of course Bam brought that sorta thing up when you first joined because he’ll there’s a lot you can do once you’ve got a chick in your group, but Johnny quickly shut the idea now by saying since they wouldn’t screw any of the other guys in the crew, they’d be keeping their hands off of you. Keeps things from getting awkward when you gotta see eachother on Monday, you know? But since Bam’s running theory of you only having gotten on set after getting into Knoxville’s pants hadn’t been disproven, he wrote it off as him making the whole thing up to keep the pretty girl all to himself. Greedy asshole. Who was he to say what he could and couldn’t stick his dick into? God, he bet the whole crew was passing you around- behind trailers, in empty hotel rooms, or what about those porta-potties on set…Bam decided to stop thinking about that once some things got stirred in his mind he didn’t really want to think about too long.

Getting bandaged up in the medic tent, you hardly noticed when Bam walked in after everybody left, watching quietly and scanning you up and down from where he stood. He looked from the bruises on your knees Bam was sure he knew the source of, to your baggy clothes that always made you look like a guy with the way they sat on your body, to your hair that was unkempt and showed just how little you cared about your appearance in his eyes. You were the exact opposite of Bam’s type in women- that dark lipstick tight bootcut fantasy goth chick with a great ass that also wasn’t a bitch. Looking up from where you were bleeding through your gauze, you made eye contact with him nonchalantly, “What is it?” Bam’s eye twitched at the disinterested tone in your voice but he kept up the whole smug thing, “You cryin’?” The medic had to scoot out of the way as you leaned in towards him and squinted at the realization that Bam was getting that whole ‘hating you’ stick up his ass again. “Does it look like I’m crying?” Part of him wanted to see you cry. Bam’s eyes drifted back to your hair, thinking about how satisfying it would be to grab a handful of it and yank you to your feet with his lips pressed tight against your ear as he said every awful word he was too nice to say to your face- that he knew everything about nasty hoes like you worked, and while it was cute how quickly the guys took to you, he was getting pretty damn sick of it so it was time for you to get the hint and hit the road. But he didn’t.

The medic passed you a container of pills that you palmed and that’s when Bam got an idea, “That snake oughta be on antibiotics instead’a you.” Scoffing at his unoriginal joke, you cocked your head to the side, “Really? You think a little blood’s that nasty? Y’damn baby…” Outside the tent, there was no doubt amongst the guys that another one of your petty fights were starting and nobody was looking forward to it. Well, except you. You found the little bickering thing you had with him fun, especially with all the weak ass insults Bam threw at you. “I mean, anything that comes outta you’s nastier than whatever Steve-O’s got goin’ on in him- that guy’s a disease nest.” This was too easy. “Yeah, says the guy who let him tongue his ass wound...” Wait, you were at that party too- the one where Steve popped ecstasy and went around kissing everyone cause he ‘felt good’? Bam’s jaw clenched at the way you always had an answer to him- how dare you one up him. He jabbed a finger at your chest, “Oh, don’t talk that shit. You wouldn’t even have the balls to get branded in the first place!” Unable to help yourself from cracking a smile, your giddiness was apparent in your voice, “I got more balls than you do.” As much as you hated how much of a little bitch he could be, you always thought the back and forth thing you had between him wasn't ever that serious (a contrast to the way Bam viewed it). Delight filled you as he stormed out of the flap of the white medical tent, blushing and emasculated and- while he would never admit this, kind of turned on by the angry banter like it was some kinda foreplay.

You needed soap. That’s how it started- after shooting one day, you went back to the hotel and noticed halfway through your shower that the room service lady forgot to leave any of those tiny complimentary soaps. Groaning, you got out of the comfortable, warm, sorely needed shower and put on a towel, thinking you could go next door and get some from the guys. It’s not like you hadn’t seen them naked before, so them seeing you in a towel was no big deal. Water dripped off of your legs as you walked out into the hallway, pushing open the door to their room which was left unlocked. From what you could tell, they had gone to the hotel bar promptly after filming, so you didn’t bother to announce your presence as you walked in. However, you had one major oversight in this- Bam, who you didn’t notice from where he was sitting on one of the beds on the near side of the room. Now, you and him could have gone on just hating and fucking with each other and everything would’ve been fine, but this one incident would change it.

From where he sat on the bed, Bam silently watched as you walked around like you owned the place, softly humming to yourself as you rummaged through their shower- through his shower, the towel you wore riding up dangerously high on the backs of your thighs, skin still glistening wet as you bent over, nabbing a few little bottles of shampoo and conditioner. He glared at you with contempt through your reflection in the mirror. You’d probably do this even if the whole crew was here, wouldn’t you? Just stroll on in, nearly naked, parading yourself around in front of all those dudes like it was nothing. Shameless. He knew better than anything what that kinda porno logic setup would devolve into. Wait- christ, was he…? Oh, oh yeah. Yep. Bam couldn’t believe himself- he was actually getting hard. More than that, you had no clue he was there in the first place even as you turned to leave, and you wouldn’t have noticed him at all if he didn’t stand up to catch your attention. “What’re you doin’?” Turning around, you met Bam’s gaze, maybe six inches away from his body as you held up your towel with one hand and presented him your spoils in the other, “I’m getting soap…?” Unceremoniously plucking one of the bottles from your hands, he squinted at you like he was accusing you of something, “So you think y’can just waltz on in here and take my shit whenever you feel like it?”

Looking around at the empty room, you got an idea to really get under his skin. You know how Bam uses his little rich boy MTV paycheck to get whatever he wants? Well your pockets may not be lined as generously but you still found a way. Taking a step forward, you pressed your body right up against his, the same way you saw all those flirty girls do to him at the bar, letting your towel slip down a little as your voice dropped into a teasing coo, trying to provoke him, “Aww, what’s the matter? You don’t like sharing?” While you were referring to the soap, Bam took it as a double entendre and thought there was no way you didn’t mean it in the way he was thinking- what with the way your chest was squished tight against his torso or how you were practically straddling his thigh in, and this is important here, only a towel. In your eyes, this was the same as any other day you were going back and forth on set, but Bam, oh. He could feel the surge of hormones in his bloodstream as his breath caught in his throat, Adam’s apple bobbing slightly. The way your body was curving against his nearly made him forget about why he hated you so much. Snapping back to reality, he couldn't tell if this was anger or lust that made him speechless, but it was probably a mix of the two. Leaning in closer, you pressed your lips close to your ear, his very obvious state of arousal only fueling your teasing as you words fell slow, melodically from your lips as you enunciated, trying to keep yourself from laughing and fucking it all up. “I’m gonna take this soap back to my room, and I am going to rub it over every inch of my wet. Naked. Body- and you are gonna do nothing about it. So, uh…” Reaching out with a grin, you grabbed the bottle back from Bam’s frozen hand. Now, logic would dictate that this is right about when the two of you would say fuck it and start going at eachother, but that’s not what you had in mind. “Thanks!” Slipping out the door and shutting it loudly, you left him standing there- unable to respond, entirely conflicted, and hard. Fuck.

Why was this happening? He was Bam Margera- Bam fucking Margera- he could have hordes of playboy bunnies folowing him arround wherever he want and fawning over him like their lives depended on it, but noooo. He had to fall for the gross chick he worked with. Perfectly fine, well-adjusted (debatable) women literally threw themselves at his feet on a day to day basis, and the one he’s got his eye set on? Yeah, last week she was doing lines of Tabasco sauce with Steve-O off the table at Denny’s cause they got bored waiting for their food. What a catch. He didn’t even want to meet up with the guys to go pick up chicks at the bar anymore- you know, the civilized kind that wore makeup and shoes you couldn’t skateboard in. And you didn’t even want him the way those girls wanted him- you were messing with his head like some succubus. Very quietly, he sat back down in the bed and thought about some things.

Bam was having a hard time letting everything that was happening with you go- that’s not the kind of guy he is, you know? Too many big feelings in a small package gotta go somewhere. So when he showed up on set the next day, hyped up to do that stunt where he was set to get shot by a riot control shotgun wearing nothing but a leather jacket for protection, his emotions were not in any way subdued when he caught word that Knoxville gave the stunt to you. “Dude!” Storming up to confront him, Bam pulled the asshole away from whatever conversation he was having with Jeff, “I mean, seriously? You got Y/N to do the stunt and not me?” Sticking his hands up in a mercy gesture, Johnny stammered but managed to explain himself, “I’m just sayin, man- It’d work better for her! You know- you have your skating stuff, she’s got the dangerous stuff! You could always watch from the sidelines…” Yeah, real nice save there, Knoxville. Bam hated whenever you did stunts- not because he didn’t like that you were equally as reckless as him, no way- it’s just that he thought chicks shouldn’t be doing dangerous shit, and you were always there to throw yourself in harm's way, and that annoyed him. You were standing off to the side, joking around with Chris and Steve when you felt someone suddenly grab your shoulder from behind and roughly spin you around to face him, “You know, I had some fuckin’ ideas about you, Y/N, but this really takes the cake.” Grimacing, you stood eye to eye with Bam, a little too close to his body to be comfortable. “What the hell are you talking about?” Bam took a step back, eyeing you up and down as he got ready to say what had been eating away at him for weeks. His voice was tense as he nearly growled, “You’re fuckin’ Knoxville.” What?

“Wait, I’m fucking Knoxville?” You certainly were not, but your mind put two and two together lightning fast, tracing his train of thought. It was like a switch flipped in you as rage curled up in your stomach, springing out of your mouth in words that dripped with venom, “Oh, please! You’re probably takin’ it up the ass from all of ‘em!” It was only natural that you would deny it- I mean, it’s kinda taboo for people to admit that they’re sleeping with their boss. But Bam couldn’t summon the words he needed to use to defend himself from what you claimed, so he said the only words his anger-fried brain could come up with, “Fuck you!” Flashing a grin, you got all in his personal space as your voice went from anger to condescension, “Oh, you wish.” Back to the snarky shit with this woman. Okay, maybe he did, but that was none of your business. Bam pressed his lips together as he could feel the tips of his ears heating up, and he couldn’t tell if he was getting flustered from the way you were challenging him or how correct what you were insinuating was. The fact that your lips were nearly touching his wasn't helping either. Taking advantage of your close proximity, Bam quickly reached out and snatched the shotgun from where you were gripping it and dashed off.

Oh, you said Bam had no balls? Yeah, he’s got more balls than the tri-state lottery, bitch. Shoving the gun into Ryan’s hands, he didn’t even notice when Rick started filming from where he was setting up the camera for the stunt you were supposed to do. Stepping back, Bam smacked his own chest twice in a challenging gesture, looking at his best friend but saying words he wanted to say to you, “C’mon, man. Hit me. Do it!” Knowing better than anyone the way he could get into these kinds of moods, Ryan knew the only way to talk him down was to go along with whatever stupid plan he had in mind. Groaning, he steadied the sight on where Bam was standing, aiming for his stomach where it would result in the least damage, and pressed his finger against the trigger. This loud, sickening whip cracking sound made everyone on set jump. The man on the other end of the barrel doubled over with this noise you only hear out of dying animals, falling to the ground with a thump as every ounce of air wooshed out of his lungs in a second. It was the way Bam looked like roadkill with how he curled up on the ground, not making a sound or movement, that made you feel a shred bad for him for the very first time. Looking around, you were the first person to call out, “…Medic?”

Internal bleeding they said. Three broken ribs on account of Dunn’s stellar marksmanship and a gnarly bruise, or so you heard from when the guys gathered around his bedside and were all gasps and oohs after Bam pulled down the sheets in when Steve asked to take a look at it. But after everyone was done grimacing and telling him how awesome the footage would turn out, they flooded out the door and the only person who remained was you, smugly sitting in one of those stiff hospital chairs as Bam lay across from you in his bed, hooked up to electrodes and shit like they do in movies. But there was something different in your eyes as you got up to his bedside- not so much your usual loathing towards him, but more so fascination. Bam got knocked down a peg, and you were satisfied knowing his ego was bruised alongside those abs of his he so loved to flaunt.

Bam’s words came out in a weak mumble as he looked up at you, “What d’you want?” As much as he tried to appear all tough and be a big angry man, you couldn’t help but find the sight of him laying back with his hair a little messy and that glossy look in his eyes from the epidural kinda cute with how vulnerable he was. He couldn’t make fun of you when he was at your mercy like this, what with not being able to even sit up on his own, much less fight or come up with any worthwhile insults. With one finger, you pointed down to the swollen, dark purple mark on Bam’s pale skin, lit up from the light flooding in the window. You nearly snickered, “I wanna touch it.” Crossing his arms over his chest, Bam scoffed at your suggestion, “Fine, whatever….It doesn’t even hurt- oh, fuck!“ Recoiling when you poked the tender bruise, Bam nearly let out a whimper as he winced, pain shooting through his chest. Letting out a breathy groan, he muttered, his head falling back against the pillow, “Don’t- don’t do that…” Part of you wanted to laugh at him, call him a pussy, and go find out wherever the other guys were headed, but another part of you, maybe one you went too eager to own up to, couldn’t deny that he looked kind of pretty when he got fucked up, all fragile and defeated. Like it activated something primal in you, this unconscious attraction towards broken things. You came to the realization that, when that mouth and that attitude of his wasn’t fucking it up, he was pretty hot.

The thing is, both of you liked each other, but neither were too eager to jump at that whole romcom style ‘confessing your feelings’ thing, so for the next few weeks, you tried to keep up the whole hating each other charade. Like when you and him were on the mini-ramp Chris hauled to set with his truck to give you something to do in between filming, and Bam just kept messing up whatever trick he was intent on doing that day. Up he’d go, then down to the plywood with a slam that left him a shiny new bruise- back and forth. “Y’know, it’s a lot easier to do tricks once you’ve learned to stay on your board.” You taunted, kicking up your board to stand on the one side of the ramp. But as he was about to reply with some smart ass response, Bam nailed whatever stupidly over complicated thing he was attempting. “Hahaha! Yes!” Popping his board up with one foot and, turning to you with a triumphant grin, he did one of those victory crotch grabs. “Suck it!” Ignoring the fact that, given the right circumstances, you probably would’ve taken him up on that offer, you rolled your eyes, looking him up and down in a way you hoped looked sarcastic as you spat, “Yeah, in your dreams.” Still, while the venom in your words was still there, it was dulled in a way, like a swallowing a spoonful of sugar after bitter medicine. “Oh, I’d rather rip my dick off and shove it up my ass before I let you suck it!” Bam had the same shitty comebacks as ever.

And the fact that you two were phoning it in wasn’t lost in the slightest on the rest of the guys. They’d try to drop hints to Bam and say that if he’s got the hots for you that it’d be a good idea to try not being an asshole for once, but he’d just laugh them off and tell them that that’s what chicks like nowadays- assholes. But they had no clue. All anyone else knew was that the seemingly boiling hatred you had for each other had melted into a mere simmer, practically friendly banter. Maybe Bam didn’t hit the mark when he said you were fucking the whole crew, but was right about you being shameless, as he would come to find out a few weeks into whatver the two of you had going on. But now, he wasn't one to complain when you pulled him behind a trailer on set, or into an empty hotel room- hell, even into one of those porta-potties on set. Honestly, it was just like how he imagined.

How I think Charley would get on with all of the other 8th Doctor Companions I’m familiar with

Grace: They’d get along great! A bit of a Steven and Vicki situation where the slightly older Grace would be a bit more protective and cautious, where as Charley “I’m Gonna Stowaway on a Dirigible” Pollard throws caution to the wind to explore! But they still look out for eachother!

Benny: Charley has a Bisexual Awakening.m4a

Stacy and Ssard: This season on Doctor Who, the TARDIS becomes the vehicle for double dates! She would be a bit intimidated by Ssard and try to befriend Stacy, but I think once Ssard shows his sense of humor they’d get along quite well!

Izzy: They’d get along great. I think Charley would really respect Izzy’s enthusiasm about scifi and comics (even if she doesn’t really get it) and Izzy would love Charley’s spirit of adventure. They’d probably kiss about it.

Feyde: Charley would be really intimidated by Fade being a super spy and all, especially if this after the transition for Sade to Feyde. But I think they would respect eachother and make a good team.

Kroton: She would be like “Woah Big Metal Man” and Kroton would be like “Woah Edwardian Adventuress” and then they’d be besties. :]

Destrii: Charley would very much not be a fan of the whole body swapping thing and would not want her on board. However she would help the Doctor carry Destrii into to the TARDIS after she got mortally wounded that one time and begrudgingly accept her onto the team.

Sam: Very much depends how they were introduced. Either their meeting goes well, they see how similar they are and become fast friends. Or Charley says something dated, Sam starts an argument about it, and it just escalates, until the Doctor breaks them up. In that timeline they wouldn’t really see eye to eye for a long time because they’re both so similar. Narcissism of small differences and all. But in the long run they would be friends.

Fitz: Oh they’d HATE eachother. Everything about one drives the other bonkers. And then they would sense they’re both in love with the Doctor and as such would fight to the death about it. Charley would win. Two utterly incompatible beings, I wish they would meet in a Big Finish boxset.

Compassion: Charley: “Doctor! That’s fucked up! That’s a fucked up thing you did to a person!!!”

Romana II (She was in the Shada audio, it counts): I think if they met while Romana was a regular companion they’d get on swimmingly. Charley would really admire how Romana can just so effortlessly understand what’s happening and take charge of a situation. And Romana would really admire Charley’s boldness and spontaneity. Maybe they’d kiss about it.

Mary: I think Charley would be a bit star struck by having THE Mary Shelly on board! (Finally, she can do some name dropping herself!) But would be a bit, excitable for Mary. They’d still get along well but I’m not sure how close they would get.

Lucie: The levels of biting comments at the Doctor’s expense would be the an all time high since Peri left. 8 would not survive both of them at peak sass.

River (She’s been in quite a few audios with 8 she counts.): Charley has a Bisexual Awakening (2).m4a

Hi , I wanted to ask if you could do TBP boys relationship / bonds with each one hcs ( U know , Finney with Griffin , Billy with Vance , it might be long or too much but hope you write it whenever you can )

Glad to see you're having fun outside Tumblr <)

thank you!! anons are so nice (sometimes)

TBP BOYS INDIVIDUAL FRIENDSHIP HCS

1. Finney and Robin

as we all know, they are friends in the movie

so of course i think they’d spend a decent amount of time together.

besides the kidnapping stuff, if the black phone was just your typical 70s slice of life movie, i think i’d love it.

they most likely do the niche things you’d expect middle school boys to do when they hang out. (not nowadays but whatever)

since finney isn’t allowed to watch rated r / horror movies, i think robin would take finn to see one atleast ONCE in their friendship.

they also most likely just have deep and long conversations about their home lives whenever they hang

finney insists on sleepovers, robin is always down as long as it’s at finn’s house (they always end up going to robins house)

robin definitely has and will beat up bullies for finn.

they also have phones in this era, so they have alot of phone conversations, they probably spend hours just sitting and talking to eachother whenever they don’t have to worry about school.

they’re just so iconic together. they don’t fight, if they have disagreements they’re stupid ones, and they’re just bffs for life

2. Bruce and Vance

polar opposites.

in this case, it’s a good thing.

bruce is sweet, he’s nice towards EVERYBODY. even the meanies like vance.

vance fights, he’s loud when he wants to be, he’s a rebellious teenager. (bruce probably got straight A’s)

and vance knows that bruce is just an outgoing and kind dude, which is what he HATES about him.

“why the hell are you so nice to everyone, shitheads don’t fucking deserve it” - (idk take this as you want, i just know vance has said this to bruce before)

vance was shocked when bruce randomly asked him if he wanted to hang out sometime (he thought he was gay) [ reminder it’s the 70s ]

but they have a semi-decent relationship (friends, platonic, blah blah blah)

he grows to be comfortable with bruce and how he is.

so eventually bruce gets to see the softer side of vance.

not always cursing, voice not constantly at volume 350, just Vance Hopper being himself.

i’d like to think Vance is very introverted, he’s rude to people who try to engage with him because he has trust issues and doesn’t want to get hurt (in the sense that i think he’s just like me)

3. Billy and Griffin

they’re so cute

they definitely go to the same school, live in the same neighborhood and spend the majority of their time together

AGHHH IM FANGIRLING

their moms are probably friends i can feel it

they’re probably childhood friends that are gonna grow up to be like brothers to eachother

griffin probably gets into accidents a lot AND I JUST KNOW BILLY KEEPS A FIRST AID ON HIM

they probably take bike rides together in the mornings and afternoons, just talking or laughing together

i’d just imagine they’re completely wholesome