#they would win a fight | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

347-emeraldbitch · 2 months

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Percy: *still drunk* William!!! Come pick me up please. I am incarcerated. Cousin Sirius says hello.

Bill: Percy!!! What happened.

Percy: We were involved in a drunk pub fight. We won but the prize was jail.

Bill: I’m coming little brother!!!

Percy: I knew I could count on you!!! Cousin Sirius says cousin Regulus will give you directions and a snack. Cousin Sirius is a mean drunk.

Bill: This is the most exciting thing to happen all month. I’m so proud of you.

Percy: Please do not tell our younger siblings. I want to keep the little dignity I have left.

#percy weasley #harry potter #hp #weasley siblings #middle child rights #✨sirius black✨#sirius black #they would win a fight #also end up in jail too #regulus is happy he didn’t go #bill tells charlie obviously

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nerdpoe · 8 months

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When Danny decides to reincarnate, centuries after his adventures, he chooses a random Dimension of Heroes and Villains.

He's expecting adventure! Heroics! A life worth bragging about in the Afterlife!

He wakes up in a tube, staring down at surprised teen heroes as they release him and another person.

Later, he finds out that he's a clone of Batman and Superman, and the other clone is of Superman and Lex Luthor.

He came into this world expecting adventures, not a weird custody battle about him and his brother (because that's what Conner is) between two A-List superheroes.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #story prompt #dc x dp #phanfic #superman wants nothing to do with both of them #batman wins custody no problem #bruce now give clark a deathglare if the super even mentions one of the boys #constant sniping between superman and batman #until it eventually degrades their relationship so much they can't work together #culminates in one big verbal fight after another attempted planetary invasion #that ends with batman just losing it and #in a very calm voice that's totally out of place from his earlier growling #“if i'd known my best friend was the type of man who would target a child for the sins of their parents i might have chosen to be alone.”#verbally slaps clark #and that's how clark agrees to go to therapy

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the-rainbow-of-doom · 6 months

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(This post was sponsored by a 1+ hour commute)

#I'm so frustrated how little time and energy i have after a day is done #i didn't win the fight against depression to have lofe ruined by THAT now #lacking time and energy to go on job hunt.. it's all very small steps only #a part time job would be marvellous but what flat can be paid with that #maybe also my anxiety is stopping me from getting a new job. what if i get fired. what if it's horrible there. ahh.. i need more courage #mine capitalism #anti-capitalism #work

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glow-in-the-dark-death · 4 months

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Hunger

~

Okay hear me out!

We have all talked about how Jason gets pit rage because of the Lazarus waters being gross ecto, or how his obssession is the Joker and needing to kill him and a bunch of other things,

Yes?

With me so far?

Okay!

Let me give that a twist,

That Pit Rage Jason feels is hunger, specifically a ghosts hunger.

Jason came back from the dead not fully, he's a starving ghost with a malnourished proto-core, until he properly eats it will stay weak and hungry.

How does the Joker fit in all this?

Easy, With the lack of good ecto for Jason to feed and stabilize from the next best option is his murderer.

Consuming that who killed you is very nourishing for a new ghost.

So Jason getting angry with the bats and others when they tell him not to kill the Joker or actively prevent him from even getting near him is like putting all his favourite foods right in front of him and then taking it away from him,

Each time getting worse for Jason, only getting hungrier and hungrier each time it happens.

How would you feel if you were starving and people kept offering you food and then pulling it away before you could eat it?

Confused?

Desperate?

Anger?

It doesn't count as cannibalism if you're not the same

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Jason biting the bars of his holding cell like a dog

Dick: "Is it just me or where his teeth always that sharp?"

~

Oracle: "I lost sight of the Joker!"

Jason hunched over with glowing green eyes while drooling: "No worries he's nearby I can smell him."

Other Bats listening on the comms: " ...What the hell do you mean smell ! Are you drooling ?!"

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Bats: "Wow Jason sure is getting creative trying to get the Joker!"

Jason:

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Check tags for some funny extras

~

Just an Idea

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puppyeared · 1 year

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OK OK as much as I like shadowpeach starting as friends consider… hate at first sight <3

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danandfuckingjonlmao · 16 days

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atp phil’s like “ffs i wish i could hit you with a car then i wouldn’t have to be stuck with your annoying dramatic ass 🙄”

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aprill-99 · 8 months

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Rhys: “So let’s see if I’ve got this; you have immense shadow power, incredible combat skills, height, tattoos, secrets, dead parents, a thirst for vengeance, the weight of the world on your shoulders, a rebellion to lead, and a dragon?”

Xaden: “Yeah? I mean, there’s also my girlfriend who I’m completely in love with and 107 people under my protection but-”

Rhys: *frantically flipping through papers* “this is the hyper-intelligent girlfriend with unprecedented lightning powers? The one you speak to with your mind and call a nickname permanently?”

Xaden: “I do only have the one girlfriend. Kinda offended you’d think otherwise.”

Rhys: *signs a paper* “Adopted. The rebellion thing is handled. Me and your aunts and uncles have got this. Your new mom is going to need some time to add you and your mate to the family portrait gallery. Your bedroom is upstairs, knives are in the training ring, family dinner is every Thursday, your allowance is infinity and your curfew is never.”

Xaden: “I am…. Older than your wife?”

Rhys: “Did I fucking stutter?”

#incorrect quotes #fourth wing incorrect quotes #fourth wing #incorrect acotar quotes #acotar #crossover #who wants to write it?#bat boys #xaden riorson #rhysand #you cannot tell me im wrong #Xaden would be adopted in 0.8 seconds flat #Violet and gwyn can hang out #Rhys and Azriel might have to fight over custody #Violet would have a lot of fun with the valkyries #Brennan has things to say about Night Court medical practices #Tairn Sgaeyl and Andarna have a lot of thoughts about Byraxis #if Xaden is 23 than he is factually at least 2 years older than the oldest we’ve seen Feyre and that’s objectively fucking funny #Rhys is in his Dad era and even if he weren’t Xaden is everything he looks for in adoptive family and IC members #Rhys thinks Xaden is baby brother shaped and Xaden thinks Rhys is a weird powerful guy who might be able to help him win the rebellion #Xaden needs a nap #Xaden is adaptable and he’ll roll with this #but damnit all if he’s not bringing Violet with him #Violet is sure something about this is funny #crack fic #crossover fic

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months

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Who will deal the most damage?

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #yu ziyuan #poll #Please note this is not a 'who would win in a battle if they fought each other'.#This is a 'who would be the scariest person to see on the other side of fighting ring.'#Yu Ziyuan knows how to do the bend and snap (a spine).#Lan Wangji has 20+ years of biting and scratching stored in his bones.#I missed the opportunity to give YZY sandals in pd-MDZS so I could properly say 'Yu Ziyuan con la chancla'.#However she's most likely wielding a heeled designer shoes. Steel tipped in the front and back.#As always there will be a follow up to the results of this poll. Who knows what that will be!#(I did make a 'bloodied up' version - but I didn't like it as much. Take this version as them *just before* they start the bloodshed.)#I'll post the alt on my twitter later on. For the fun!

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liauditore · 6 months

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it's gotta be you.

#bdoubleo fanart #bdoubleo100 #bdubs #trafficblr #secret life spoilers #traffic spoilers #my art #DON'T THINK ABOUT PEARL WANTING BDUBS TO WIN!!#DON'T THINK ABOUT PEARL HANDING OFF THE CLOAK TO BDUBS BECAUSE SHE NO LONGER HAS ANY NEED FOR IT!!#DON'T THINK ABOUT HOW BDUBS WHO HAS NEVER TRUSTED HIS ALLIES FULLY FINALLY HAS SOMEONE HE FULLY BELIEVES IN #TO THE POINT OF REFUSING TO BETRAY HER BECAUSE I QUOTE “SHE WANTS ME TO WIN”#DON'T THINK ABOUT PEARL WHO'S BEEN ISOLATED IN THE PAST FINALLY HAVING ALLIES WHO CARE FOR HER #DON'T THINK ABOUT HER TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM BDUBS AND JOEL ONLY FOR THEM TO ASSURE HER THEY'RE NOT GONNA BETRAY HER #DON'T THINK ABOUT BDUBS TELLING PEARL AND IMPULSE HE DIDN'T THINK THEY WOULD FIGHT THE DRAGON WITH HIM.#DON'T THINK ABOUT BDUBS TELLING PEARL NO. SHE HAS TO WIN. BECAUSE HE CAN'T DO IT.#im so normal im so sorry #cw caps

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tj-dragonblade · 1 month

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Chedwin this, Paineland that, call those boys FlyingDutchman since. Y'know. They're a ghost ship.

#dead boy detectives #honestly The Ghost Ship works too #but only so long as no other ghosts come along #to create alternate ghost ships #in all seriousness I would vote for GhostBoys as a ship name #but I see Paineland/Payneland winning this battle #and then 'twill be a fight over spelling

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heartorbit · 1 month

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the star you've longed for

#PLEASE WATCH REVUE STARLIGHT!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥#project sekai #revue starlight #pjsk #emu otori #nene kusanagi #emunene #prsk #proseka #yuri win. i make my fav pairing fight tothe death #HAPPY EMUNENE WEEK LOOOOOL #Can i be hinestni think this sucks it took way too long cause i forgot how to draw for a week #im seeing demons and stuff. i feel more normal now. Also you may recall emu has a big hammer for revstar #thats the bottom of it the gem thing all the weapons have hers is sharp #i remember seeing meta post abt how mahiru has a blunt weapon because she never actually aimed for the lead role #rather she only wanted to be by karen's side. so her weapon wasnt capable of cutting anything in the first place #Fastforward to the movie and well LOLLLLL #though i think its funny in the movie her mace is still mostly used for i timidation againstbhikari.. bc again shes not winning for a lead #revue starlight youre neat. maybe i like revstar.#<- has been insane for 4+ years #Needed their pose to be smth where nenes weapon isnt visible because I DONT KNOW WHAT WEAPON TO GIVE HER. OOMFS HELP. I NEED A NENE WEAPON.#i thought some sort of polearm/spear/halberd etc something with range but that can be ambitious #but i feel like smth with that much footwork needed doesnt suit her.. And she cant hsve a sniper i dont think thatwould fucking work #aruru gets pistols in the revue but aruru also is Ummm well shes uhhh. [screaming] [car crash]#throwing knives would be funny wouldnt it. Put that gamer aim to use #idk if the emunene week tag is on here but i'll donit anyways #emuneneweek2024 #i remembered to switch which account this pists to for the first time in like 3 pists. so you get to see all my tags this time #rather than accidentally posting it to the wrong account and having to dekete and repost andngoing IM NOT WRITING ALL THAT AGAIN.

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leaff0dil · 29 days

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Shaka and Lilith redraw in the opening just cuz

#one piece #dr vegapunk #vegapunk shaka #vegapunk lilith #lilith would be most likely to start a bar fight #shaka being the least likely to start a bar fight but would win one #that is if he could survive

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deadsetobsessions · 5 months

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He doesn’t know how they got here, but Jason’s thankful for it. It’s not often that he speaks to Cass, when Jason’s passions are words and righteous murder and Cass’s passions are distinctly not that, but when they do speak, they manage to get along. Somehow.

“So, why don’t you kill?” Jason leans back on the couch, his favorite mug filled with Alfred’s hot chocolate.

Cass is curled against the arm of the sofa. She looks at him, head tilted. Jason knows she’s reading him, but he’s not sure what she’s finding. It’s humbling, and intimidating, to know she sees more than what he allows to show.

“I can see,” she says. “That one time… I killed. I saw. Pain. Fear. Desp- des- not wanting to die.”

“Desperation?”

Cass nods. One of her fingers fiddle with the material of the couch. Jason knows she’s allowing him to see the motion. He knows it’s her silent way of showing him trust.

“There is more. To dying. Like… like they see their lives-They think- remembers. Loves. Their life- regret, love, everything. It goes through-” Cass taps her temple.

“Their lives are flashing through their heads?”

“Yes. Good. Bad. Everything. I see.” Quieter, Cass adds “I know. I know them, then. I killed a life that I know. They love. Everyone, have something they love. I kill, I kill that love.”

“That must suck.”

Cass leans back. She nods, neck releasing their tension and eyes less hunted, more accepting.

“Yes. I don’t want to- I don’t want to be the end.” Cass swivels her shoulders towards him, now. “Why… why do you?”

“Me?” Jason… hasn’t thought about it for a while, nor too deeply. But this is Cass. And her honesty deserves an honest reply. “I kill because some people shouldn’t be left alive to hurt and kill others”

“Not about… Bruce?”

Jason took a sip of his hot chocolate. Cass settled more into the couch, her eyes clear and watchful.

“It used to be,” he admitted. “About him, I mean. It used to be about vengeance. But then I came back to Crime Alley, and then I saw the kids getting hurt instead of being protected. They’re innocent. And then, it wasn’t about Bruce anymore. Killing is just the means to an end now, for me.”

“Do you- not regret?” She makes a gesture at his leg, where on a normal day, his holsters would be.

“I try to make sure I don’t kill people I’d regret, no. Like, you know how sometimes you guys arrest muggers?”

Cass nodded.

“Sometimes,” Jason said, remembering the days of digging through trash for food and the lingering hunger that rumbled through his younger self’s stomach. “They mug people because they’re desperate. I don’t kill those guys. But people deal to kids? Who hurt sex workers? Rapists? They’re doing irreparable harm, with full knowledge of their actions. For profit, mostly. If they’re willing to ruin lives, then they should be ready for their own to be ruined. It’s justice, for people like me.”

Cass studied him. “Justice…?”

“The only kind us Alley kids could ever appreciate. Arresting an abuser, a threat, and having that stick is for the privileged. Having that threat removed completely is relieving.”

“Can’t trust the world to be fair. But death, is fair.”

“Yeah. I think if I saw as much as you do, it’d be harder to do. But I think I’d still kill, because one person’s suffering after a life of being evil is worth the safety of so many others. To know… well, I guess I’m glad I don’t know what that’s like.”

“I see.”

“I know you do,” Jason grins at her. “But not killing is an act of courage too. Even if B makes it seem like it should come instinctually.”

“Yes. He does not connect, with Damian. Does not understand, fully, how hard. To unlearn.”

“Yeah.”

They sit in silence for a while after that, listening to the sounds of their family clambering around in other rooms.

“Hey, Cass?”

Cass turned back to him.

“I would kill David Cain for you.”

He would. It makes the Pit seethe when he thinks about how much David Cain and Lady Shiva hurt Cass for her to get this insanely good at reading people. He hopes she sees the pure honesty and sincerity he feels at that declaration

Cass puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezed once. Twice.

“Okay. Thank you.”

“No objections?”

“… would not feel too bad.”

Jason snorted.

“Yeah. You and me both.”

He doesn’t know how they got here, but he’s thankful for it anyways, because he understands his sister just that much more now.

#cassandra cain #black bat #Jason Todd #red hood #they have different philosophies #but theyre family your honor #cass would stop jay from murdering people if she sees him #he’d let her bc he’s not gonna win that fight #he’d also go back and kill whoever later #David Cain #being a horrible parent I hate this guy #dc #Cassandra Cain seeing someone’s emotions as they die #she doesn’t want to be a weapon #Batman

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gleefully-macabre · 7 months

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Sam Vimes, you absolute legend. Assassins Guild has his price set at $600,000 in a world where one person could live modestly on $30 a month. I believe, on the Roundworld, that’d be comparable to John Wick’s highest bounty of $40 million.

However unlike in John Wick, that’s still not enough for anyone to make the attempt.

#Sam vimes #the fifth elephant #discworld #John wick #I’m not saying Sam Vimes is more badass than John Wick #I’m saying Discworld assassins are faster learners than Roundworld’s #who would win in a fight?#they wouldn’t fight #they’d chill over cigars and maybe show pics of their kid/dog #gnu terry pratchett

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nightingaletrash · 8 months

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Okay but forget about Anders. You know who Gale would love? Merrill.

A highly talented mage who figured out how to safely use a forbidden art to a positive end, to restore something magical and wonderful, and actually succeeded in doing so? Gale would LOVE to talk shop with Merrill. He'd be asking her all sorts of questions about how blood magic works and the inherent risks and how she avoids them. He's not a Thedosian mage raised in the Circle, he has none of the inherent biases against blood magic. He'd be fascinated by the practice- wary of its darker utilities, but fascinated all the same.

And you can't tell me that he wouldn't be willing to talk through the restoration process with her in order to figure out why the mirror wasn't working. He'd get to be her rubber duck, he'd sit and take notes while she talks and ask questions. And however self-conscious and anxious Merrill might be at first, her fears are quickly put to rest because he's so genuinely enthusiastic about magic and he doesn't think she's stupid or dangerous, he clearly thinks she's utterly brilliant. They end up having an earnest discussion about blood magic and demons and the Weave and how integral magic is to their lives. Gale would never regard Merrill as a stupid idiot fool who doesn't know what she's doing - she's the only person in her friend group who's actually Qualified to talk about it and if the others don't stop being mean to her, he will be there to back her up because holy shit, they do not appreciate the genius in their midst.

Gale 🤝 Merrill

#bg3 #da2 #gale dekarios #merrill #gale would be merrill's biggest fan you can't change my mind #anyone's mean to merrill? he'll back her up #also merrill would fight mystra and win #she doesn't need no weave she's got magic in her veins

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turtleblogatlast · 1 month

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I am once again reiterating that Leo could and should be a figure skater because what are ice skates if not twin blades? What is dual blade swordsmanship if not a dance-like performance? Using the skates as blades themselves could let Leo make portals be his ice rink no? I rest my case. ⛸️

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #would also like to add that he loves glam rock and unicorns! and what’s something glam rock unicorns and figure skating share #that’s right ✨glitter baby✨#(his glam rock look unironically fits right in with figure skater attire ngl)#I also mentioned his incredible ability to hold a pose before which helps him here #plus his fighting style in general can easilyyy incorporate figure skating elements #I am this 👌 close to animating a quick gif to show what I mean by those ice skate portals #and I do specify figure skating over hockey because 1) hockey is CASEY’S thing 😤 and 2) hockey just. doesn’t fit Leo? not enough ✨pizzazz✨#episode where the A-plot is Casey Sr showing her love for hockey and ending up playing a life or death game against yokai #she brings Raph in for help (since I like Casey & Raph friendship) and he gets the rest of the fam to help fill out the team #Casey Jr is especially excited but he’s never actually played hockey before #Leo tries to join and immediately accidentally makes a portal with his skates when he tries twirling to show off #the gang wins the match and the ep ends with Leo finally making it back completely beat up from accidental portals #the gang: wow we won! haha let’s go get hot chocolate it’s cold in here #leo: *desperately twirling over an active volcano* THIS IS THE OPPOSITE PLACE TO BE RIGHT NOW #actually to extrapolate on this more I really adore the idea of the boys’ abilities needing to be retrained as they grow #because their powers have the opportunity to grow #Mikey just randomly floating off and needing to be tethered down until he gets the hang of it lol #and stuff like that

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