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#incorrect acotar quotes
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Rhys: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*
Azriel: Stop that. How would you feel if I banged you on the table?
Rhys: I ---
Rhys: I don't know the correct answer to that question.
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velidewrites · 1 day
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*Vassa and Jurian skipping stones on a lake* Vassa: It's such a beautiful evening Jurian, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
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lady-riel · 20 hours
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Eris: There’s something I meant to tell you and now I forgot it. Azriel: Eris: After so many years together you really should be able to just read my mind. Azriel: That’s not within my skill set. Would you like me to interrogate it out of you? Eris:  Eris: Eris: Eris: Would it be a fun interrogation? Azriel: All my interrogations are fun.
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incorrectacotarblog · 5 months
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Rhysand: who got an STD? I need you to fuck someone for me
Azriel: calling an STD hit is absolutely insane
Cassian: biological whorefare
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aprill-99 · 6 months
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How it started *Under the Mountain*:
Feyre: “So that’s the love of my life.”
Rhys: “Really? Tamlin? That guy?”
Feyre: “Yeah. Thoughts?”
Rhys: “And prayers. Girl what-”
Where it went *Early ACOWAR*:
Feyre: “So this is my mate.”
Lucien: “Really? Your mate is that guy?? Rhysand???”
Feyre: “Yeah. Thoughts?”
Lucien: “And Prayers. Girl what-”
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nebarious · 1 month
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Rhysand: Y/n what is your favourite part of azriel?
Y/N: His dick do I even need to explai-
Azriel: *blush* really?
Rhysand: No! Aside from that?
Y/N: His tongue. He really eats me out, so goo-
Rhysand: Other than that, please!
Y/N: His fingers those things can do wonde-
Rhysand: I give up my innocent sister is long gone
Y/N: The shadows, especially when he uses them to tie-
Rhysand: No more, please, sister, stop!
Y/N: His eyes!
Rhysand: Now that's an answer! Why his eyes, then?
Y/N: When they darken as they roam my body, and it makes me feel thin-
Rhysand: *walks out*
Cassian: My boy keeps on winning
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tuzna-pesma-snova · 4 months
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Eris: Are you ready to commit?
Azriel: Like, a crime or a relationship?
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sadiegirl2021 · 4 months
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Azriel listens to Rhys, Cassian and Lucien talk about their mating bonds
Rhys: I just wanted to kill everyone near her!
Lucien: Same! Nothing was stopping me from getting to her and covering her up with my jacket
Cassian: It's crazy! Does it ever sound like there's music and singing when you're around them?
Rhys & Lucien: *nodding in agreement* Yeah, definitely!
Rhys: and picturing her smile, gods that would get me through the day. Just that image glowing quietly in my chest...
Cassian: *sighing* yeah, it's a beautiful thing! 
Lucien: *nodding in agreement*
Azriel, looking wide-eyed in the corner
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ladylokilaufeyson5 · 10 months
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Rhysand: Go over there and flirt with them. Just say some cheesy pick up line
Y/N: Okay
Y/N walking up to Azriel: I like my partners how I like my intrusive thoughts
Azriel: ?
Y/N: Fucking me over in the middle of the night
Rhysand: Oh Mother above
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estellaluna · 6 months
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In the training room with Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie
Nesta: WHO ARE WE?
Gwyn and Emerie: THE VALKYRIES!
Nesta: WHAT ARE WE?
Gwyn and Emerie: WE’RE WARRIORS!
Nesta: AND WHAT DO WE LIKE?
Gwyn: Smut novels!
Nesta:
Emerie:
Cassian: *snickered*
Azriel: *pursed his lips*
Gwyn: Oh, wrong answer. We like to kick asses!
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fieldofdaisiies · 6 months
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Cassian *dropping someting*: Shit! Nyx *wearing the biggest grin*: SHIT! Cassian *spinning around*: No, no, no. We don't say that. Mummy won't be happy about you saying that word. Nyx: Shit! Cassian *crouching down on the ground*: No, no. We don't ever say that word again, alright buddy? That is a bad word. Nyx *giggling*: Shit. Cassian: No, no, buddy, stop. Promise me to never say that again, or your mummy will be very, very mad at Uncle Cass. Nyx *looking at his toys*: Sh-- Cassian: I'll take you flying and bring you chocolate, and we can even steal a huge piece of the cake Elain made earlier, if you promise me to never say that word again. Nyx *nodding happily, eyes twinkling*: Gaga.
Cassian releasing a contented sight, wiping sweat from his forehead; Feyre and Rhys entering the room Feyre: Did you have a nice time with uncle Cass? Look what we got you, baby.
Rhys handing Nyx a little plushy toy they got him. Feyre *smiling at Nyx*: So what are we going to call it, baby? .... Nyx: SHIT!
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Rhys: Nesta, you'll be working with Azriel and Cassian.
Nesta: Alright! My fantasy threesome!
Everyone else: *blank stares*
Nesta: ... of people on a team.
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velidewrites · 3 days
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Lucien: So? How's Jurian? Vassa: Bad news. Lucien: No... Vassa, stepping aside to reveal Jurian: He's alive.
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lady-riel · 24 days
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Cassian: You married ERIS?! Azriel: I have a thing for mouthy redheads. Cassian: He’s a male! Azriel: Eris: Azriel: I also have a thing for cock.
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incorrectacotarblog · 5 months
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Cassian: the word daddy has been so sexualized
Cassian: my kids are gonna have to call me bruh or something
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aprill-99 · 5 months
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Rhys: “So let’s see if I’ve got this; you have immense shadow power, incredible combat skills, height, tattoos, secrets, dead parents, a thirst for vengeance, the weight of the world on your shoulders, a rebellion to lead, and a dragon?”
Xaden: “Yeah? I mean, there’s also my girlfriend who I’m completely in love with and 107 people under my protection but-”
Rhys: *frantically flipping through papers* “this is the hyper-intelligent girlfriend with unprecedented lightning powers? The one you speak to with your mind and call a nickname permanently?”
Xaden: “I do only have the one girlfriend. Kinda offended you’d think otherwise.”
Rhys: *signs a paper* “Adopted. The rebellion thing is handled. Me and your aunts and uncles have got this. Your new mom is going to need some time to add you and your mate to the family portrait gallery. Your bedroom is upstairs, knives are in the training ring, family dinner is every Thursday, your allowance is infinity and your curfew is never.”
Xaden: “I am…. Older than your wife?”
Rhys: “Did I fucking stutter?”
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