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orangechickenpillow · 10 months

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Crowley being mad that Aziraphale wants to keep Jim and then soon after going "ooo, I want that one" with Muriel is really funny to me

#they are parents your honor #they just have their favorite kids #crowley #muriel #jim short for gabriel #aziraphale #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens

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neuro-psyche · 22 days

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I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.

If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.

Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.

Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.

Tim :

Dick :

Tim : My room is normal sized…

Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-

Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.

Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.

Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.

Jason :

Dick :

Jason : Do you want to-

Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.

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inkskinned · 1 year

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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

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catmask · 2 months

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for me at least, theres always been a really stark divide in the 'child character is the main antagonist' sort of stories.

on one hand. theres stories that rely on the shock factor of a child being evil, because we're supposed to believe that kids arent capable of that sort of thing. i guess its supposed to be frightening but the novelty always wears off really quickly for me.

i think 'a child is the villain' always lands most successfully for me when a kid is given power beyond their years (either by adults around them or otherwise supernatural/societal forces) and then everyone is floored when they arent exactly responsible with that power. and sometimes theyre even selfish! not because that kid is evil, but because theyre a kid.. acting like a kid would in their situation.

it means that any sort of story that follows requires a protagonist to reason with someone who may not even understand the harm theyre doing, or worse - not have the life lived to understand why they should care in the first place. and also, i think watching what happens when u have an destructive force seeking comforts that any child deserves doing whatever they can to have those things is (to me) much more interesting than 'child who is fucked up and evil for no reason but being born that way actually'

#a lot of people have pointed it out but molly from pokemon has stuck with me for years since i first watched that movie #and subsequently i think inspired mars #but im noticing this with thistle as well. falin is my favorite characyrr but thistle almost stole that spot by the end. maybe theure tied #just like.... a kid being adultified by a culture of ppl they were pushed into and handed responsibility beyond their years #when its clear they were only ever seeking a family/warmth... aaugggh. aughhh #thistle i love you. my baby

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puppyeared · 4 months

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me when the laikas comet. is this anything

@laikascomet

#tumblr wont let me upload the audio file >:( do me a favor and put caramelldansen on in another tab #with any luck itll eventually sync to the music #i originally wanted to do this with Yue but his ears and coat are hard to animate so i decided to go with mars lol #maybe next time ill do laika leek spin...... Ievan Polka was one of my favorites as a kid #i just realized procreate dreams is already out but i dont have money so i just made this in regular ass procreate lol #i like how this turned out ^_^#my art #myart #fanart #laika's comet #laikas comet #mars #fur #furry art #gif #caramelldansen #edit: sped it up a little #flashing #flashing images

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year

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christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.

like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid

#wouldn't roll my eyes or check my phone or get bored or nothing #I'd just listen to that little dork & smile & encourage them & let them explain how their favorite gameboy games worked #i was the kind of kid my adult self would find annoying & uninteresting but like #most of the actual adults in my childhood felt that way too. including my dang parents.#and ya know sometimes they showed it. a lot of times without realizing it. and that messes a kid up #if you don't make an effort kids WILL recognize your disinterest and lack of attention.#kids deserve to have caregivers who show interest and engagement #even when it's over stuff that adults find boring. especially then maybe #your kid doesn't have to be fun or interesting or easy or well behaved to deserve positive attention #they deserve positive attention because they are YOUR KID #if love is unconditional then DISPLAYS of LOVE and AFFECTION must also be unconditional #not something that must be earned #telling your kid that you love them is not enough. that is step one out of like a thousand #if you just tell your kid you love them but you don't demonstrate affection and interest and patience and warmth and etcetera #your kid isn't gonna feel loved! I Love You will just become a trite phrase that they regard with mistrust!#bitch you gotta FOLLOW THROUGH

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sunnibits · 8 months

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“the kids chose protective mom izzy in the divorce” is literally my new favorite joke to come out of s2 so far I’m utterly obsessed

#Ed haters don’t clown on this post btw this ain’t for you. this is a lighthearted joke from a fellow Ed liker don’t be bitchy in the tags #anyways I’m literally never getting over this concept it’s so funny but also so genuinely sweet to me #like I have never rlly considered izzy as a parental figure at all but it is SO fucking cute and important to me #how protective he is of the crew this season 😭😭#like?? he genuinely risks his life to try and protect them?? he shoots Ed to protect them??? shut up I love him #stern mom izzy is my new favorite thing. so so obsessed #also just. divorce joke hilarious to me. ofc.#he’s taking the kids bitch!!!! he’s getting full custody!!!!!!!#izzy hands #ofmd #ofmd spoilers

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adinafay · 8 months

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I like to think Bhaal spends the entire timeline of BG3 just so incredibly confused and absolutely pissy about why he can't convince anyone - even his most special, Chosen, purest of Bhaalspawn- to murder for simple murder's sake.

Not that Bhaal doesn't appreciate murder more generally, but also how in the hells is he supposed to achieve global-genocide when everyone, even his own idiot kids, keeps using his precious murder as a mere tool, a means to their own ends, ya know?

He has to be a helicopter-parent to Durge about it:

Pre-tadpole Durge is so in-want of connection that they have to be under constant supervision by their specially-assigned butler to try and keep them on task. ("Stop bitching and let me live vicariously through you like all the other sport-parents!")

Then, even that isn't enough to stop them from connecting with Bane's lil shit "Gortash" and eventually starting in with the crown/Absolute plan ("Why in the hells are we using MY MURDER to help fucking Bane with his fucking tyranny?!")

Shortly after that Durge goes and gets merc'd and tadpoled by the other one... ("Have I taught my children nothing!? Orin really should know well by now that it's not 'murder' if they survive...")

... And then - clearly still prone to frivolous connection - they fucking gang up with a bunch of weirdos only to head home with other, new bad habits like "thinking for themselves" and "the apparent intent to entirely trash the plan they insisted on making with Gortash!" ("If you didn't want to play you shouldn't have had me sign you up for the team! Get your ass back in the game! You already got your Deathstalker uniform and everything! Now stop embarrassing me and maybe I'll even give you a slayer form.")

And, while Durge is being a rebellious lil Bhaalspawn, Bhaal also has to contend with:

His cultists, who are apparently killing mostly just for notoriety and/or safety amongst themselves. ("Quit playing around! I assure you I do not give a single fuck which one of you did it or how clean it was so long as the murder(s) did happen.")

Orin, who is playing at being an artist and completely absorbed in her exploration of murder and maiming as novel media to express her innumerable daddy issues ("Yes, I DO still like your lobotomized bloodkin more; at least they never wasted my time asking me to put all their shitty artwork up on the fridge.")

And Bane and Myrkul, who are presumably laughing their godly asses off and/or absolutely raging at Bhaal's inability to keep anyone at heel and how it's interfering with their mutual plan.

TL;DR: Life is hard when you're The God of Murder and neither your employees or your children properly respect the family business and your frenemies mock you for it.

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xiewho · 3 months

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bro had a vision

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #gorgug thistlespring #fhjy #fig faeth #d20 #fantasy high junior year #another cig figs post.....one might say it's favoritism #it's NOT im just insane #the immediate switch up is so funny to me #only doodles today guys im so busy :((#i have a wip of the bad kids (all on one canvas for once !!)#my art

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sesamenom · 6 months

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Gil-galad Variations, featuring all the gil galad theories i've encountered.

#silm #silmarillion #gil galad #gil galad son of plothole #<- best tag lol #personally i like the maglor theory #son of lalwen is probably my second favorite?#also that would make him the 16th known finwean grandkid #the aegnor/andreth peredhel variant is interesting #also i feel like when everyone meets him in valinor/the halls finrod would just look at aegnor like :/#finrod: 'if you were just going to ignroe my whole speech you could have at least told me so i could get birthday gifts for the kid!'#the russingon one looks very much like nerdanel lol #both the maedhros ones' hair is *just* dark enough to not cause a diplomatic incident #the elured/elurin one is really funny #like. hes 0% noldor not even related to finwe at all. like. theyre descended from different cuvienen families. they literally are 0% relate #he was raised by cirdan who is also 0% noldor #but he is somehow a better king of the noldor than like 90% of the previous ones #even funnier if hes Just A Guy #did they accidentally switch the real finwean baby? did they just grab a random kid and go 'oh well close enough'? who knows?#i think princess-faelivrin has a FAQ about the leading version of fin-galad (gil galad being finduilas)

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saturnniidae · 4 months

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I don't think Hiccup can actually fully understand dragons (they don't really have a clear, learnable language. mainly communication through a range of sounds and body language), but his familiarity with Toothless' noises and mannerisms, and Hiccup's habit of mimicking them, has helped him understand the gist of what most dragons are trying to communicate and he often responds in kind. Sometimes he doesn't even realize when he's doing it and wonders why people are giving him such strange looks.

#hiccup stimming via mimicking toothless is one of my favorite hcs ever #ik he only did it like once in canon but thats enough evidence for me #also just the idea of hiccup picking up dragon-like behaviors in general is amazing #autistic kids mimicking animals they have closer bonds with than humans my beloved #autistic!hiccup #autistic headcanon #httyd #hiccup haddock #toothless #hiccup headcanon #httyd headcanons #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #moth.txt

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haliaiii · 5 months

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more pjo stuff

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otaku553 · 8 months

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I have an agenda.

Long hair teenage sabo.

#one piece #sabo #you cannot convince me that he did not have a long hair phase #like if he grew out his hair to hide his scar he has to have tried more to hide it more thoroughly #I found a fic recently that followed sabo’s growing up in the revolutionary army and it was really really good #I want to see more amnesiac teenage sabo acting awkward around his peers because even back on dawn he had only two friends #more of kids being insensitive and asking about his scar which even he has no idea how he got #and koala and him being antagonistic towards each other #and them slowly becoming friends #anyways I’m so. I tried going onto YouTube to see if there were any good video analyses of sabo #and like yeah I can see why sabo would be a divisive character #but I also completely forgot that there are one piece readers who have not an ounce of media literacy #or respect for female characters #something something ‘sabo is like an oc insert because he exists so distant from everything and just in time to replace ace’ SHUT UP #or ‘favoritism towards sabo because he has a hot girl following him around and more hot girls in the revolutionaries’ I AM GOING TO GO INSA #KOALA IS HER OWN CHARACTER AND AN EXTREMELY INTERESTING ONE THAT DOES NOT EXIST JUST TO BE EYE CANDY OFF OF SABO’ ARM #SABO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER IN LINE WITH THE THEMES OF ONE PIECE AROUND FREEDOM AND EQUALITY

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oneluckydragon · 9 months

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BREAKING NEWS!!! Local idiot ghost absolutely blown away when boyfriend gives him a nickname for the first time, more info after this broadcast.

Bonus pet-name edition:

(Yeah I know it's ooc for grovyle to EVER use the term "babe" but lets go ahead and assume he's done it accidentally a few times rather than intentionally. He's deeply in love with the dumb ghostman, ok. Sometimes it just slips out.)

Dusknoir is still recovering from hearing it. And when he finally calls grovyle "love" himself on accident a few days later, he falls deathly ill for two weeks cause his body couldn't handle the aftermath and started rapidly shutting down on a molecular level.