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#they can’t live in my head any longer i am sorry
illogicalines · 8 months
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i just need to get this off my chest as a day one Izzy Hands supporter and steddyhands truther— one of the most fucked parts of these first three episodes that I need to see discussed more is that Ed believes that he is incapable of being loved. Ed believes himself to be fundamentally unlovable, despite everything that Izzy has done to prove his love for him.
Izzy has quite literally dedicated his life to serving Ed, to pleasing him, to making sure that he is content. Izzy stays by him throughout his darkest times, tries to help him while he spirals, does everything he can to save Ed from his own decisions. Is it the right thing to do? Is it good for either of them? Probably not. But he does it all because he loves Edward, unconditionally. He lets Ed cut off three of his toes. Let me reiterate— Izzy allows Ed to cut off three of his toes (side note: the way that Ed so casually tells Izzy to take off his boot makes me feel crazy. Is this what he’s done every other time? And Izzy just obeys? Oh my god). Izzy’s love is a twisted, dark and obsessive type of loyalty, but it is love nonetheless and it is love that Ed has had for his entire adult life.
Ed was just so loved, no matter what he did, no matter how far he pushed, no matter how many toes he cut off. Izzy loves him, even at his very lowest. Even when he shoots him, even when he places a gun in his hands and goads him into killing him.
And just think for a second how terrible that must be. How awful must it have been to love someone so wholly that you gladly dedicate your entire life to them, only to learn that they believe themselves to be unlovable. Because if Edward is incapable of being loved, then what did Izzy’s love mean? If nobody can love Edward, then what does that make Israel Hands?
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ryukatters · 10 months
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don’t go - k. bakugo
a/n: I’m so horny for this man I can’t even think straight. This was supposed to be short and fluffy but now it’s turned into this. I would say sorry but I’m not. (Yes I am alive)
pairing: katsuki bakugo x fem! reader
wc: 1.5k
content/warnings: smut, unprotected morning s*x, begging, overstimulation, bkg is obsessed with you, also completely not proofread
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Your boyfriend Katsuki is clingy. Very clingy— in all senses of the word, and you’re convinced that if you open a dictionary right now his name would show up as the very definition of it. Bakugo would live under your skin if he could, or at the very least come up with a way to keep you in his pocket. 
As lovely as your boyfriend is, his innate urge to smother you in affection poses a problem in times like these— early mornings where you have to get up and get ready for work. 
“Katsuki, I need to go to work. Go back to your side of the bed.”
“Just quit,” he murmurs, “I’ll take care of ya.” 
“As appealing as that sounds, no. I need to get up and do my part as a functioning member of society.” Any attempt to leave your shared bed is shut down by Bakugo, his strength easily overpowering yours as he wraps his arms around you and lays on top of you. 
“But you’re my pillow,” he says with a bit of a sigh, pressing his into the crook of your neck, melting further into you. His hot breath tickles your skin, and it’s enough to have your heart pounding along with a familiar warmth in between your legs. Katsuki is observant to a fault, he knows you better than the back of his own hand, and knows just what to do to turn you into putty. 
His hands snake up under your (read: his) shirt, kneading your breasts. You let out a sharp gasp as he tweaks your nipples and sucks a love bite at the junction of your neck. He hums in appreciation as he slowly leaves a trail of wet kisses down your stomach, stopping just as he reaches your underwear. 
He traces your slit, eyes darkening as the fabric begins to dampen with your slick. “So wet for me already, baby.” It’s not a question, it’s a fact that he already knew. Katsuki wastes no time sliding the garment down your legs. He takes a moment to run his hands up and down both your thighs before prying your legs further apart, exposing yourself to him completely. He can feel his mouth water at the sight of you. 
Katsuki can’t help but moan the minute his lips attach themselves to your clit, sucking fervently. “Always taste so good, princess.” 
You take a moment to glance down, which proves to be a mistake. Katsuki’s practically making out with your pussy, and when his eyes meet yours, they’re nothing short of lovesick. His vermillion orbs draw you in, and they’re absolutely magnetizing. You have to close your eyes to stave off your orgasm for a little longer. 
Katsuki can’t help but grind against the edge of the bed to feel some sort of release. He’s so fucking hard. He thinks he’s growing delirious. Katsuki swears he can cum from the taste of your pussy and the sound of your angelic voice filling the room with a sweet symphony. When you let out a particularly breathy call of his name, he has to will himself not to finish in his boxers, which is already usually a difficult enough task on its own, but now it's almost impossible from how impossibly hard he is with morning wood.
You grind against his mouth, hands carding through his hair as your orgasm rapidly approaches. Katsuki is more than eager to be used as a means of getting there. Even as you cum, he continues to fuck your hole with his tongue and lapping up your pussy. It’s only when you begin to push him away does he feel the need to lean back, a loud pop reverberating as he does. 
“You gonna be a good girl and let me take care of ya?”
“Mmm, fuck. Yes, ‘ki.”
“Good girl,” he coos, his lips pressing against yours with fervor. You allow him to deepen the kiss, sucking on his tongue. He moans appreciatively, hips stuttering as he continues to grind against you. The head of his cock bumps against your clit over and over, smearing precum all over your pussy. His tip just barely presses against your fluttering hole, and you can feel your insides ache with anticipation and utter need.
He’s teasing you. You’re overstimulated yet somehow unsatisfied. Your pussy is craving to be stretched out, and Katsuki is making sure he’s doing everything but that. He likes getting you like this— needy, clingy, nearly delirious as you beg for him. He likes to think of it as reparations for how insane you make him feel on the daily. 
You’re not sure how much more you can take. 
“Katsuki, please,” you whine, lifting your hips to grind against his dick, hoping to get what you want, what you need. You look up at Katsuki and for a moment, you think you’ve got him— think that you’d be able to look at him with those doe eyes and get what you want easily, like always. He never could refuse you.
But he merely smirks, and uses one hand to press you back down into the mattress. 
“Tell me what you want, princess. You know I’ll make it good for you.” 
“Want you to fuck me, ‘ki.” 
“Yeah?”
“Mhm,” you whine sweetly. 
“I’ll give you what you want baby,” he affirms, the timbres of his voice reaching the depths of your soul. He uses both hands to press both of your legs by your shoulders, cock lined at your entrance. I always do, don’t I?
You can’t stop the moan that tumbles out of your lips as he fills you up. Katsuki presses a kiss against your forehead, relishing in the way you tighten around his dick. 
The familiar coil that’s been forming in your tummy is threatening to unravel, if your stuttered moans and breaths are any indication. Katsuki seems to know this too, as he pulls out right before you hit your climax. You whine at the sudden lack of overwhelming pressure, and Katsuki’s quick to silence you with a hard stare. 
His breath ghosts against your lips, vermillion eyes burning into yours with intense, unspoken passion. “What’s wrong, princess?”
You shake your head in the negative. “Wanna cum, Katsuki. Please.” 
He starts thrusting again, slowly and with purpose. His eyes never leave yours. It doesn’t take long for you to be on the brink of an orgasm again. “You want to cum, right baby?” He smiles when he sees you nod. “You can cum,” he says carefully, “but only if you do one thing for me.” 
“I’ll do anything Kats,” you manage to choke out. Katsuki continues to pound into you, the sound of skin slapping filling the room. You really would do anything, Katsuki’s own desire and utter want for you is so persuasive that you feel compelled to follow. 
“Don’t leave,” he whispers, lips pressing a chaste kiss against yours. “Stay with me, today.” There’s an urgency behind his words despite them being said so softly. 
Fuck it. 
You barely manage to let out a stuttered “yes, ‘ki,” before you reach your peak. The pleasure rolls over you in waves, tears threatening to spill as Katsuki continues to drill into you, chasing his own high. A few particularly rough thrusts punctuated by staggered moans let you know that he’s cumming. 
Katsuki manages to plop right next to you, bed shifting under his weight. You lock eyes as you both try to catch your breaths. He gives you a quick smile before pressing a kiss to your sweaty temple, one arm wrapping around you to pull you against him.
“So…” he starts, his eyes brimming with satisfaction, lips upturned into a smirk. He knows he’s won. “Ready for round 2?”
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mxtantrights · 1 month
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Hello there, ‘tis I again! Soo happy you enjoyed the boxer!jason request!! I know, i love him too :)))
Today i bring forth another boxer!Jason ask, maybe you introduce him to your friends and they can’t see past the fact he kinda looks like a brute (even tho he’s such a big softie, i truly believe this man reads romeo and Juliet while waiting to get on the ring), and so at the end of the night he’s feeling insecure cause he could see how your friends looked at him and he starts wondering if they are right and you deserve someone who’s softer and more approachable. And obviously reader shows him just how amazing he is!!
Today i yearn for some good hurt/comfort, if you couldn’t tell lol
Hope you have fun writing this one!! Marvellous works 🩷🩷
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Everything goes right before the two of you get there. Thats how Jason knows something is gonna go wrong at this hang out. You told him all week that if he felt like not going, you could cancel. But he didn't want it to seem like he was blowing your friends off. So he trudged through.
He trudged through and is sitting side by side with you in a booth. And three of your friends are crowded into the other side of it. They've had a couple of drinks before you came. You weren't really in the mood to play catch up so you stick to your one while Jason goes dry because he's driving.
They have conversations about the recent news, the latest gossip, and then they ask about your life. Particularly your life with Jason. You start gushing about him, as if he isn't there, and tell them about how you met and how he treats you.
"This guy? This six foot tall, three hundred pounded brick wall?" one of them asks.
You scoff, "How he looks has nothing to do with how he treats me."
"Yeah, but doesn't he-don't you box?" another one of them asks him.
Jason clears his throat and sits up straight. But you notice it. You notice how he is trying to make himself smaller. He did it at the very beginning of your relationship, to make you less scared. You talked to him about it when the two of you got closer, and you haven't seen him do it since. Until now.
"I'm a boxer, yes. But I don't bring any of that home with me." Jason answers.
"Isn't it hard though? When you're angry? I mean who's to say you won't-" the third friend starts.
Hell. This has to stop.
"Enough." you speak.
They all look at you, at a loss for words. While it's true the four of you grew up looking like people who were afraid to tell others no, and looked like doormats, you were far from that person. Those days are over.
"I'm not gonna let you speak to him like that. He has been nothing but kind and open with me, and not that it's any of your business, but he has never laid his hands on me, or raised his voice." you say.
Then you're getting up from the booth, holding your hand out for Jason. He looks between you and your friends and then he's getting up from his seat. He takes your hand in his.
"He's my boyfriend. I want him in my life and I wanna be a part of his. So either you get that or you get lost." You put finally.
You turn around and walk right out the door with Jason. Jason who hasn't said a word yet. Jason who is holding onto your hand in a way that tells you he's not completely paying attention.
When the two of you cross the threshold of the doors, you squeeze his hand.
"Baby?" you ask him.
Jason looks at you then. Like everything is coming back into focus for him. He has a sad smile on his face.
"I'm sorry." He says.
"Don't ever be sorry for being you. If my so called 'friends' couldn't see past what you look like and what you do for a living then they don't need to be my friends." you explain to him.
Jason shakes his head, "You've known them longer than me. It's not fair that-"
"Jason Todd, I am not willing to give you up. For anyone. Ever. You got that?"
Jason lets out a small sigh. "Okay."
You let go of his hand to hold out your arms. He pouts a bit before stepping closer to you and wrapping his arms around you completely. You nuzzle into him more.
"I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you. I hope you know that." you add on.
"Yeah?" he asks.
"I swear it." you answer.
a/n: thank you so so much for sending this in! <333 I love some good hurt/comfort too!! I hope you like it!!
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hockey-fics · 4 months
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That Week in Vancouver ~ Quinn Hughes
(Pt. 2 of That Night in Michigan)
"You can just keep believing whatever you want to believe if it makes you feel better about the way you treated me."
Word count: ~11,800
Warnings: some toxic behaviours (primarily arguing), drinking, language, smut.
A/N: there is a small potential for a part three, I have an idea for it but it depends on how motivated I am to keep going with this as a series. It's already gotten much longer than I ever intended it to.
“Do you have time to talk?”
There’s a silence that falls over the line that makes your heart race, your hands growing clammy. He had answered the phone at the very least, you had to hold onto some hope that he would be willing to have a conversation. It wasn’t a big ask, you didn’t need all day. You just needed a few minutes, a few minutes that could determine the outcome of your entire relationship.
“Quinn?” you whisper, unable to sit in the silence for any longer. 
“I don’t really have time,” Quinn tells you, his voice distant and cold. 
“Oh,” you mumble, your eyes prickling with tears. “When, um…when would you have time?”
“I don’t know,” Quinn replies quickly. “Things are kind of busy right now.”
Your breath catches in your throat and you blink quickly, trying to stop the onslaught of tears coming to your eyes. “Quinn, please,” you plead. 
“Sorry,” Quinn mumbles. “I’m sorry, I have to go,” he croaks, the first indication that this wasn’t as easy for him as he was making it seem. 
Before you have the chance to say anything else the call ends, your heart sinking with it. Pulling your knees to your chest you feel a few tears slip from your eyes. “Fuck,” you mutter under your breath, tossing your phone onto the couch beside you. Wiping the tears from your face with your sleeve you struggle through a few deep breaths, your breath catching in your throat each time. Was this really how it was going to end? A lifetime of friendship. Years of feelings. All of that to end without so much as a conversation. 
You don’t know how long you sit there until eventually your body is so exhausted from crying that you climb off the couch, heading straight to bed. At least if you were asleep you could silence the never-ending stream of thoughts about you and Quinn. It doesn’t take long till you fall asleep that night, sleeping till late the next morning. 
When you finally pull yourself out of bed you take a shower, your body numb as you go about some sort of normal routine, unsure of what else to do. Standing in front of the coffee maker in your kitchen you stare at the drops of coffee splashing into the slowly filling pot. Your phone vibrates on the counter beside you and you glance over at it, opening the text message from Luke. 
‘if I get a dog would you look after it when we’re on the road?’
Sighing you read the message before locking your phone, setting it back down again to pour yourself a mug of coffee. As you’re stirring some cream into it you hear your phone vibrate again. 
‘at least turn your read receipts off if you’re going to ignore me’ 
Picking up your phone you quickly send him a message back. ‘sorry, just not having a great day’.
A second later your screen is filled with an incoming FaceTime call from Luke. Groaning quietly you slide to answer it as you walk into the living room. “Hi,” you say quietly, flopping down onto the couch. 
“What’s wrong?” Luke asks, skipping past a greeting. 
“Nothing,” you mumble, fiddling with a loose thread on the blanket that was tossed over the back of your couch. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Alright,” Luke drawls, clearly not convinced. “So will you look after my dog?”
You can’t help but giggle, rolling your eyes. Luke was always there for you when things weren’t going well, even if he didn’t always know the appropriate responses to your emotions. “I don’t know if you’re even responsible enough to take care of a dog when you are home.”
“I am,” Luke defends quickly. “I just have to feed him and walk him.”
“And train him and brush him and take him to the vet and the dog groomer and make sure he’s getting enough exercise.”
“Yeah, yeah, I can do all that,” Luke says with a shrug. “I think it’ll be fun.”
“Sure,” you say with a quiet laugh. “I’ll look after him when you’re on the road if you get a dog.”
“Thank you,” Luke replies, smiling happily. “Now tell me why you’re so sad.”
Sighing loudly you toss your head back dramatically, staring up at the ceiling. “Quinn won’t talk to me,” you state quickly, knowing that if you didn’t just say it you wouldn’t be able to get the words out. “I called him last night, he won’t talk to me.”
“What did he say?”
“Literally nothing,” you mumble. “He said he didn’t have time to talk and he’s too busy to talk later.”
“He’s just upset about you and Holtzy,” Luke explains, as if you were completely in the dark as to why Quinn didn’t want to talk to you. 
“I know, Luke, I’m not an idiot,” you exclaim, eyes flooding with tears again. “Sorry…I just…I don’t know what to do. I miss him.” Reaching up you quickly wipe away the tears that had pooled under your eyes. 
“I know,” Luke mutters, nodding slowly. “Are you doing anything today?” 
“Not really,” you tell him honestly, shrugging it off quickly. 
“Get ready, I’m going to pick you up.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere, Luke,” you mutter, sighing quietly. 
“You just want to sit there and cry alone all day?”
“Oh my god,” you whine, shaking your head. “Leave me alone.”
“I’ll be there in like forty-five minutes,” Luke tells you, hanging up before you can argue against it. 
Sighing you pull yourself off the couch, finding an outfit for whatever this mysterious outing was. You busy yourself getting ready until Luke texts you, telling you he was there. Hurrying out of your apartment you find him idling on the street in front of your apartment building, hopping into his car. “Hi,” you greet, pulling your seatbelt on. 
“Hey,” Luke replies, waiting till you were situated in your seat before pulling back out onto the road. “Do you want like a coffee or something?”
“You’re trying really hard, aren’t you?” you tease, giggling quietly. 
“Yeah, I don’t want you to be sad,” Luke tells you. “But if you keep making fun of me I might stop.”
“No, please don’t,” you laugh. “Yeah, I’d love a coffee.” 
Luke takes you to your favourite coffee shop, after you gave him step by step instructions of how to get there. With a latte in hand you climb back into Luke’s car, still unsure of where he was planning to take you. 
“Where are we going?” you ask. 
“It’s a surprise,” Luke tells you with a mischievous smile. 
“I’m scared,” you joke, taking a sip of your coffee as you look out the window, trying to figure out where you could possibly be headed. 
Shortly after Luke pulls into the parking lot of a large building, your eyes focusing on the sign out front. “You’re unbelievable,” you laugh, looking at the animal shelter in front of you. 
“Come on, you know that seeing dogs is going to cheer you up.”
You follow Luke out of the car and towards the building. “We’re not leaving here with a dog, Luke,” you warn, stepping inside as Luke holds the door open for you. 
After talking briefly with the woman at the front counter she guides you through the building to the dog kennels. “Looking to expand the family?” she asks with a friendly smile.
“What?” Luke asks cluelessly. 
“No…we’re not, um, we’re-,” you begin. 
“Ew,” Luke mutters. 
Looking over at him you narrow your eyes, scoffing. “Well you don’t have to act like it would be disgusting,” you joke. “We’re just friends, he’s looking for a dog, I’m just the designated pet-sitter.”
“Well it’s always good to have a pet-sitter lined up,” she says uncertainly. “Anyway, I’ll leave you two to take a look, let me know if you have any questions.”
Walking over to one of the kennels you look at the tag on the door, reading it over. “Muffins,” you gush, looking at the small dog in the kennel. “His name is Muffins,” you repeat. 
“Muffins is ugly,” Luke mutters from behind you, staring at the little dog with scraggly fur, bulging eyes, tear stains on his white fur. Reaching over you playfully whack Luke’s arm. “Don’t be mean to Muffins,” you scold. 
“Look at this one,” Luke says, drawing your attention away from Muffins and to the large lab in the next kennel over. 
“You’re so predictable,” you tease, reading the description of Dewey the lab. The two of you wander along the rows of kennels, fighting against falling in love with each and every one of the dogs. By the time you were leaving that afternoon you were covered in dog fur, no longer quite as sad as you had been when you woke up that morning. 
Sitting in the car with Luke he scrolls through the pictures that he had taken of the dogs, clearly wanting to go back in and adopt one right then and there. Leaning over you look through the pictures with him, stopping him when he gets to a picture he took of you and one of the puppies. “Can you send that to me?” 
“So you can post it on instagram?” Luke teases. 
“Shut up,” you wine, rolling your eyes. “Yes.”
Luke chuckles, sending you the picture before setting his phone down. “What do you want to do now?”
“I don’t know, you’re the one who dragged me out.” Saving the photo to your phone you open instagram, adding the picture to your story with the caption ‘puppies really do make bad days better’, tagging Luke in the corner. 
“You’re so dramatic,” Luke says, pulling out of the parking lot. “Are you still going to pretend you didn’t have fun?”
“No,” you say, shaking your head. “Thank you, Luke…I do feel a bit better.”
“Good.” Luke turns down another street, seemingly on the way back to your apartment. “Quinn’s just an idiot,” Luke says suddenly. “He’ll come around, I promise.”
“I don’t know,” you mumble, glancing over at Luke. “I think this is different.”
“Why?”
Shrugging you look down at your hands, fidgeting with your fingers. “Because he’s never been like this before. He’s never been mean to me before, he’s never said things like…that.”
“What did he say?”
“He basically called me a whore…I mean, not directly, but it was easy enough to figure out what he meant. He said that I don’t think about anyone other than myself and that he’s done with me.”
Luke is quiet for a few seconds before looking over at you when he stops at a red light. “What?” he finally mutters. 
“Yeah,” you whisper, sniffling quietly. “Maybe it really is just time to move on. I just…I love him so much, I don’t know…it’s hard.”
“He’s an asshole,” Luke mutters under his breath. “I didn’t know that’s what he said to you,” Luke admits. 
“I didn’t really want to talk about it,” you tell him with a shrug. “I mean, I guess maybe he’s right, maybe I was flirting with everyone, I don’t know. I’d take it all back, it never even meant anything to me, I didn’t realize it was affecting him like that…I just…I just want him back. Maybe things will never be more than they were before, maybe we’re not meant to be together or anything but to lose him altogether, as a friend…I can’t handle that.” You hadn’t even realized how quick your breathing had grown, tears streaming down your cheeks. “Sorry,” you mumble, wiping the tears from your face. 
“You’re fine,” Luke assures you, glancing over with a smile so full of pity that it makes you want to hurl yourself out of the car. “Can I, um, can I do anything to help?”
Choking out a breath of laughter between your shaky breaths you shake your head. “No, I don’t think anyone can do anything to help.”
Luke turns into the parking lot of your apartment building, pulling into one of the visitor spots. “Well can I at least come hang out for a bit?”
“I’m not going to say no,” you tell him, picking your purse up from the floor of his car. “But you really don’t have to stay just because I’m sad.”
“You know that I actually like spending time with you, right? I don’t know why you’re acting like I’m doing you a favour.”
“I just don’t think that I’m that fun to be around right now.” Climbing out of his car you fish your keys from your purse, guiding Luke into the building. 
“Remember when I had the flu and you spent like a week taking care of me?” Luke asks as he watches you press the button for the elevator. “Was I fun then?”
“I mean it was kinda funny,” you say with a playful smile. “I would never have expected a little flu to take you down so easily.”
“It was bad,” Luke defends, chuckling as he leans against the wall of the elevator. 
A few minutes later the doors slide open and you guide Luke to your apartment, kicking off your shoes and heading for the couch. Luke joins you a minute later, grabbing the remote from the coffee table. “What do you want to watch?”
“You’re actually going to let me pick?” you ask in shock. 
“You’re the one who’s sad,” Luke reminds you, handing the remote to you. 
You pick your favourite show on Netflix, pulling your legs up onto the couch and curling up in the corner. You watch the show in silence for a few minutes before looking over at Luke, watching him type something on his phone. “Do you think he ever loved me?” you whisper, a feeling of shame washing over you for even asking the question, of wanting that reassurance. 
Luke is quiet for a minute, as if he wasn’t sure how he should reply, like you were a ticking time bomb waiting for the next thing to set you off. “Yes.”
Nodding slowly you turn your attention back to the tv, your vision blurry as you stare through a layer of tears. You didn’t know what else to say, didn’t want to talk about anything else yet you didn’t want to talk about it either. So you remained silent, watching episode after episode till you were beginning to drift to sleep. 
“Hey,” Luke whispers, gently shaking your shoulder. 
Inhaling sharply your eyes fly open, glancing around in a tired shock. “Hm?” you hum. “What time is it?…How long was I asleep?”
“A few hours,” Luke tells you with a shrug. “I’m going to go home now though, I have practice in the morning. Do you want to come? I’ll give you my bed again.”
Shaking your head you sit up, blinking tiredly. “No, no, that’s okay…thank you though.”
“Are you sure? Are you going to be okay alone?”
“Luke, I’m fine,” you assure him, swinging your legs off the edge of the couch. Standing up you pull him into a hug, resting your head on his shoulder. “Thank you for coming over today. Text me when you get home, okay?”
Luke waits for you to pull away first before saying goodbye, heading out to drive back to his place. After waking up a bit more you find something for dinner, calling your best friend to talk, needing to get out of your head. You end up talking with her for most of the evening before heading to bed rather early, the intense emotions of the last couple days catching up with you.
The next morning you wake up early, trying to keep yourself busy so that you didn’t fall into the same sadness that you felt the day before. You couldn’t spend the rest of your life wallowing. After having breakfast you take your coffee and grab your laptop, heading to the living room to sit on the couch. You pay a few bills before opening your email, your eyes narrowing in on one email from 1:46am. 
Flight Confirmation. 
Nervously clicking on it you scroll down, confusion building when you see that it was indeed a flight booked under your name. Then your eyes fall to the destination. Vancouver. Glancing at the date you realize it’s for next weekend, your heart racing. 
Picking up your phone you dial the number of the only person you thought would be buying you a flight to Vancouver. You listen to the dial tone for so long you begin to wonder if he wasn’t going to answer at all. 
“Hi?” Quinn mutters, his voice groggy and tired. 
Looking at the clock you realize how early it still was in Vancouver. “Shit, sorry, did I wake you up?”
“It’s fine,” Quinn mumbles. “Did you get the email?”
“Yes,” you whisper, your eyes not leaving the screen of your laptop. “Why?”
“Because I’m sorry,” Quinn says quietly. “I’m sorry I was such an asshole to you, I shouldn’t have treated you like that and I want to see you. If the date doesn’t work I can change the flight, just let me know when, I figured you have weekends off so I thought it would be better to pick a weekend but I know the flight is Friday morning so if you can’t leave that day I can just-.”
“This weekend is perfect,” you interrupt. “I’m sorry too, Quinn, I never meant to hurt you.”
“It’s okay,” Quinn assures you. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” you reply, not expecting your voice to grow shaky in the way it did. “I can let you get back to sleep now.”
“No, it’s okay, I was going to get up soon anyway.”
“Okay,” you whisper, still staring at the flight details on your laptop screen. “You didn’t need to buy me a first-class ticket, Quinn.”
“It’s the least I could do,” Quinn tells you quietly. “You’re going to let Luke get a dog?”
You can’t help but laugh at the question, pushing your laptop off your lap and curling up on the couch, staring out the window across the room. “I can’t really stop him…you’re his big brother though, maybe you should talk him out of it,” you tell him. “How long has he been talking about this?”
“Not long,” Quinn mumbles. “We talked yesterday.”
“Oh,” you whisper, wondering if wanting a dog was the only thing that Luke talked to Quinn about. “About a dog?”
Quinn is quiet for a little too long, your palms growing clammy, realizing that the answer probably wasn’t yes. “About you,” Quinn finally admits. “I um, I saw the Instagram story and called him. I just, uh…I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“And he told you I’m not?” you ask, though it was more of a statement than a question. 
“Not exactly,” Quinn replies. “He did make sure that I knew I was an asshole…not that I didn’t already know that.”
“If you already knew that why have you been refusing to talk to me, Quinn?”
Quinn sighs heavily, silence falling over the line. “Because I was hurt,” Quinn mumbles. “I was hurt and jealous and I don’t know…I just didn’t want to admit that. I’m sorry.”
You wanted to forgive him, wanted to tell him that it was okay. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t okay the way he treated you in Michigan, it wasn’t okay the way that the situation had played out since. Dismissing it, telling him it was fine, you knew that wasn’t going to help the situation. You needed to talk about it, to really discuss it. Maybe he was right in booking you the flight, maybe this just wasn’t a conversation that you could have over the phone. 
“What should I pack for Vancouver?” you whisper, doing your best to change the topic. 
Quinn hesitates a moment, clearly taken aback by the 180 degree change in the conversation. He tells you the plan for the weekend, primarily just that he had a game on Saturday, though he assured you that you didn’t need to go if you didn’t want to. You told him you did, making a mental note to add an outfit to wear to the game to your list. 
You talked on the phone for nearly an hour before Quinn had to go, not wanting to be late for practice. You spend the rest of the day preparing for the week ahead, grocery shopping, meal prepping, laundry, all the chores that kept your mind busy. 
The week went by slowly, each work day feeling never-ending. The closer you got to your 6am Friday flight the closer your anxiety gets to overtaking your excitement. Of course you wanted to see Quinn, wanted to make up for the months of not even speaking to each other. But you also knew that the point of this trip was to talk about what had happened, a conversation you were dreading having. 
Friday morning you wake up at 4am, collecting your luggage and climbing into an Uber half asleep. You’re not fully awake till you’re on the plane, the six hours ahead of you seeming like they were going to stretch on forever. 
By the time you landed in Vancouver your heart was hammering so heavily you were worried you might just drop dead of a heart attack right then and there. Your hands were shaky and clammy as you wiggled your carry-on out of the overhead compartment. You follow everyone off the plane, down the long hallway and to the arrivals area of the airport. 
Weaving your way through everyone around you stopping to greet their loved ones your eyes scan the crowd of people still waiting. When your eyes land on Quinn you nearly stop walking altogether, your heart stopping for a moment. Three months of not even talking to him made it feel like years of not seeing him. Hesitantly you force yourself closer, not knowing what to expect when you get to him. But as soon as you’re close enough Quinn has his arms around you, pulling you close against him. 
“Hi,” you whisper, fingers curling into the fabric of Quinn’s hoodie. 
“Hi,” Quinn replies, pressing his lips to the top of your head. “How was your flight?”
“Really good,” you reply. “I’ve never flown first-class before.”
“I’ll make sure you only ever fly first-class from now on.”
“Stop,” you giggle, shaking your head. “A seat on a flight is good enough for me…especially if it means I get to see you.”
“I love you,” Quinn whispers in a way that makes your heart skip a beat. You had been telling each other you loved each other since childhood. In the same way that you told Jack and Luke that you loved them. But your love for Quinn was so different and you weren’t sure what his admission of love entailed. “Should we go get your suitcase?”
“Y-yeah,” you stammer, nodding quickly, thankful that Quinn had said something to break you from your train of thoughts. Heading to the baggage carousel you wait till you see your suitcase, dragging it off the carousel. 
Quinn swoops in quickly, taking your bag from you. “Ready to go?” Quinn asks, gesturing towards the door. 
Nodding you follow Quinn through the airport and out into the cool air outside, rain drops hammering onto the sidewalk. “People weren’t lying about how much it rains here,” you comment. 
“You can wait here, I’ll bring the car around,” Quinn offers. 
Shaking your head you step closer to Quinn. “No, it’s just rain, I’ll survive.”
Quinn slides his jacket off quickly, wrapping it around your shoulders. 
“It’s okay,” you whisper, your eyes locking with his as he keeps his hands on the jacket wrapped around you. You slide your arms into the sleeves when you realize Quinn is not about to take the jacket back. “Thank you,” you tell him, pulling the fabric around your body. The jacket smells like Quinn, his body wash or cologne or maybe just his laundry detergent, but whatever it was it was it felt comforting, familiar. 
Quinn picks up your suitcase again and you follow him through the parking lot, quickly climbing into the dry car. Quinn is in the driver’s seat a moment later, starting the car before looking over at you. “Thanks for coming.”
“I just want to figure this out,” you say quietly, pulling your seatbelt on. Glancing over at Quinn for a moment before you turn your attention back to the drops of rain landing on the windshield. “I can’t lose you, Quinn.”
Quinn reaches over, his hand sliding into yours, squeezing it gently. “I know I fucked up, but I promise you that I’m not going anywhere.”
Sniffling quietly you nod slowly, not entirely sure you believed him. Sure, you were here with him now. But it seemed so easy for him just weeks ago, to tell you that he simply didn’t have any time to talk. 
“I’m sorry,” Quinn adds, squeezing your hand again before shifting the car into drive, pulling out of the parking spot. 
You remain silent through the entirety of the drive, your mind racing with thoughts that brought tears to your eyes. You knew what was coming. You knew you needed to have a real conversation about what had happened in Michigan, about what was going to happen now. But you didn’t know how it would go, didn’t know what Quinn would say about it, and you were scared that somehow, someway, it would only make things worse. 
When you get to Quinn’s apartment building you follow him inside, sliding his jacket off your body and hanging it in the closet by the door. You had never been to his apartment before, almost all of your time together was spent in Michigan. 
“Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat or drink?” Quinn asks, walking into the kitchen.
Shaking your head you rest your hands on the counter, looking over at him. “I think we should talk.”
Quinn nods, sighing quietly. “Yeah,” he mumbles, nodding towards the living room. “Should we go sit down?”
“Sure.” Turning around you walk to the living room, sitting on one end of the large couch. Lifting your legs onto the couch you pull them to your chest, wrapping your arms around them in an attempt to comfort yourself. “I don’t really know what to say,” you admit. 
“Me neither,” Quinn agrees, sitting on the edge of the couch, leaning forward, eyes focusing on the living room floor. “I know it’s not an excuse but I was so drunk that night,” Quinn begins, glancing over at you. “And I see the way people look at you, the way everyone just falls for you, which I get, but, I don’t know…it’s hard. Seeing you with Alex that day, on the dock, I was jealous,” Quinn rambles.
Nodding slowly you dig your fingers into your legs, forcing deep breaths into your lungs. “But you didn’t have to be so mean to me, Quinn. We could have just talked about it.”
“I know,” Quinn replies quickly, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I shouldn’t have treated you like that. I don’t have an excuse, I was hurt and drunk.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” you whisper, your eyes prickling with tears again. You had never cried so much in such a short period of time, had never expected to. “You know that, right?”
Quinn shrugs, his elbows resting on his knees, leaning forward to stare at the ground. “Yeah, I mean, I guess.”
“Quinn,” you croak. “What do you mean you guess? I promise the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you.”
“Then why did you do it?” Quinn snaps, turning his head to look over at you. 
“I-,” you begin, shaking your head. “I don’t know, I really didn’t mean to, nothing I said or did with them meant anything, it was just-.”
“No?” Quinn interrupts with a scoff. “Nothing you did with Alex meant anything?”
“It wasn’t-,” you begin before getting interrupted again. 
“Don’t lie to me,” Quinn interjects. “I’m not that fucking stupid. I saw your stories with him, I know when you were going out with Jack and Luke that Alex was there too. I know you went home with him after you guys went out drinking. If you’re going to sit there and tell me that none of that meant anything then maybe none of the stuff you said to me meant anything either.”
“That’s not true,” you plead, eyes glossy with tears. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Quinn. I’m sorry, I really am. Yeah, Alex and I were hanging out but that doesn’t mean what I said to you wasn’t true.”
“If it was true you wouldn’t be fucking one of my friends,” Quinn mutters. 
Swallowing heavily you wipe away your tears, shaking your head. “You’re such an asshole,” you mumble under your breath. 
“I’m the asshole?” Quinn snaps. 
“Yes,” you exclaim, dropping your legs off the couch and standing up quickly. “You called me a whore, Quinn. You said such horrible things and now you have the audacity to get mad at me when I started spending time with someone who actually was nice to me after all that.”
“I did not call you a whore,” Quinn defends, staring up at you from where he was still sitting on the edge of the couch. "I would never say that."
“Maybe you didn’t use that word but how do you think I would take you telling me that I’m flirting with everyone, that I want the attention of every single man around? Do you know how bad that hurt, Quinn? You’re telling me that you’re not sure if you believe I didn’t mean to hurt you but you’re not acknowledging how much you hurt me.”
Quinn is quiet for a few seconds, his eyes falling back to the ground, not looking you in the eyes. “I didn’t mean to.”
“Maybe you should have thought about someone other than yourself then,” you tell him, repeating his words from that night in Michigan back to him. Maybe you shouldn’t be so petty. Maybe you should have been the bigger person. Maybe you should have let it go. But your heart was racing, your hands clammy, your mind scattered in a million directions and a part of you selfishly wanted him to feel the way you felt that night. 
Quinn visibly flinches in response to your words, inhaling deeply. “I’m sorry,” Quinn breathes out. 
You were already on your way towards his front door, body moving faster than your mind. Grabbing your purse you toss it onto your shoulder, yanking the same jacket Quinn had let you wear earlier off the hanger in the closet. 
“Where are you going?” Quinn asks, hopping up from the couch and hurrying over to you. 
“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly, spinning towards the front door. Your hand lands on the door handle just seconds before Quinn is wrapping his hand around your wrist. “Don’t,” you mumble, yanking your hand away from him. “And for the record, I didn’t sleep with Alex. I’ve never fucked any of your friends. But you can just keep believing whatever you want to believe if it makes you feel better about the way you treated me.” Yanking the door open you head out into the hallway, finding the stairs and hurrying down them. 
Outside the rain is still pouring heavily from the sky and you begin walking quickly, continuing till you find a coffee shop. Inside you pull the soaking jacket from your body, laying it over your arm and heading to the till. After ordering yourself a coffee you find a seat tucked away in the corner of the coffee shop, watching the cars passing, the rain drops bouncing off the sidewalk. 
You’re not there long before your phone begins vibrating. First with a call from Quinn. Then a text message. Then a couple more calls and a few more texts. Sure, you probably should have replied, but your mind was still racing a million miles an hour. All of your thoughts were so incredibly cloudy that you didn't even know what to say if you were to reply.
Eventually, long after your coffee cup is empty, your phone rings and this time it’s Jack. Sighing you slide to answer it, bringing the phone to your ear. “Hi,” you say quietly. 
“Hi,” Jack replies with an audible sigh. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” you tell him honestly, fiddling with the cardboard sleeve on your paper cup. 
“Where are you? What’s going on? Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m in a coffee shop, Jack, I’m perfectly fine.”
“Quinn is freaking out,” Jack tells you. “Can you please just call him?”
“No,” you mumble, watching a man walking by with his dog, the dog’s hair plastered to their body with rain. “I want to come home, Jack.”
“Oh my god,” Jack groans. “You two are so fucking annoying.” 
“Fuck you,”  you whisper, glancing around to make sure nobody in the quiet coffee shop could hear you. “Why would you say that? I haven’t done anything.”
“Both of you need to get over what happened in Michigan,” Jack tells you. 
“Tell him that,” you mutter, rolling your eyes to nobody but yourself at that table. 
“I did,” Jack exclaims. There’s a few seconds of silence after he says it, unable to think of anything to say. Because he was right, you both needed to be honest. You both did and said things you wished you hadn’t, both made mistakes. “Do you want me to book you a flight home?” Jack finally asks. 
“No, it’s okay…thank you though.”
“So are you going to go back to Quinn’s place or do you want me to book you a hotel room?”
“I could book my own hotel room if I wanted to,” you tell him with a quiet sigh.
“You’re always complaining that you’re broke,” Jack comments.
“I know how much money you make, Jack, I’m broke in comparison.”
“I’m never buying you drinks again,” Jack replies with a chuckle. 
“Please,” you say with a giggle. 
“If you go talk to Quinn and figure out whatever is going on with you two and leave me out it, then I’ll consider buying your drinks when we go out again.”
“Fine,” you whine playfully. “What do I even say to him?”
“I don’t know, just go talk to him. I’m sure you two will figure it out.”
“I’m scared,” you admit. 
“Why are you scared?” Jack asks, a sudden intensity in his tone.
“What if he never forgives me?”
“Just go talk to him,” Jack sighs. “He’s losing his mind right now, just go talk to him.”
“Fine, I’ll go back,” you groan. Standing up you pick up Quinn’s jacket from the back of the chair, pulling it on. “I’m sorry you had to get involved in this,” you tell Jack, picking up your empty coffee cup to toss it into the garbage on the way out the door. 
“It’s fine,” Jack assures you. “Just figure this out, okay?”
“Okay…we’ll try,” you tell him. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Good luck,” Jack says. 
“Thank you,” you say with a sigh, stepping outside. “Bye, Jack,” you say before hanging up. Hurrying through the rain you make your way back to Quinn’s apartment, stopping outside to text him to let him know you were back. 
Quinn is down in the lobby a second later, letting you inside. “I’m sorry,” Quinn says as a greeting, reaching over and pulling you into his arms. Your jacket is soaked, seeping into the fabric of his hoodie.
“Let’s just go upstairs,” you mumble, though if you were being honest the last thing you wanted to do was let go of him. 
Quinn pulls back, guiding you back into his apartment. You’re quiet as you pull off the jacket, kicking your shoes off a second later. Following Quinn back to the living room you slowly sit down, sighing quietly. “I talked to Jack.”
“I figured,” Quinn mumbles, sitting down across from you. “I’m really sorry.”
“Me too,” you mumble, looking across the couch at him. “I-,” you begin, eyes filling with tears again. “I don’t know how to deal with this, Quinn, I can’t lose you. I love you so much. I don’t know…I don’t know what to do.”
Quinn slides closer to you, pulling you into his arms. “I love you too,” Quinn tells you, pressing his lips to your forehead. “You’re not going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” Nodding slowly you clutch at Quinn’s arms, holding him tight against you. “I’m sorry for everything I did, everything I said. I promise I’ll never talk to you like that again. I don’t expect you to forgive me right now, I know what I did was horrible.”
“I do,” you whisper, pulling back to look up at him. “I do forgive you, Quinn. I know you’re sorry, I really do. I just need you to stop holding me flirting with other people over me. We weren’t together. I’m sorry that I didn’t realize the way it was making you feel, I really am. But I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I wasn’t doing it to make you feel bad.”
Quinn reaches down, taking your hands in his, squeezing them gently. “I know we weren’t together, I know you weren’t doing anything wrong and I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you whisper, reaching up to wipe away a few tears that had slipped from your eyes. You weren’t even sure why you were crying anymore. Relief, exhaustion, an overwhelming level of emotions. “What now?”
Quinn shrugs, glancing over at the TV. “Do you want to go somewhere? Or do you want to just stay here and hang-out?”
“Stay here,” you tell him laughing quietly. You didn’t need a mirror to know that your eyes were swollen and red, that your skin was splotchy from all the tears you had shed. “If that’s okay with you.”
“Of course,” Quinn assures you, reaching over and picking up the remote. He hands it to you before leaning back on the couch, watching as you turn the tv on. “We can order dinner too, just let me know when.”
Picking up your phone you look at the time. It had been a long day but you were still shocked to see that it was nearing 6pm already. You pick a show, watching an episode before the two of you order dinner. The rest of the evening goes by quickly, most of it spent in relative silence as you watch a few more episodes of the show you had put on. 
Eventually Quinn shows you to the guest room and you change into some pyjamas before settling into the bed. You fall asleep easily that night. Maybe it really was just because the bed was so comfortable, but you’re sure there was more to it than that. 
When you wake up the next morning Quinn is already gone for morning skate, a note on the kitchen counter letting you know he would be back that afternoon. The note also told you that there was coffee in the cupboard and to help yourself to anything else you wanted. You were almost certain he bought the coffee specifically for you, something you confirmed when you found it unopened in the cupboard. After making yourself a cup you head to the living room, watching TV while waiting for him to get home. 
The sound of the front door opening draws your attention just a little after 12pm. “Hey,” Quinn greets, walking over to sit on the couch next to you. “How was your morning? I didn’t want to wake you before I left.”
“It was good, I slept in, that bed is really comfortable,” you tell him, moving closer and wrapping your arms around him. You rest your head on his shoulder, feeling his arms circle around you, pulling you closer. 
“It’s not bad,” Quinn says with a chuckle. “My bed is better.”
“Are you bragging? Because I am your guest and that’s kind of rude,” you tease, pulling back slightly to look into his eyes. 
“Maybe a bit…but I’m not stopping you from sleeping in it with me so I don't think it's that rude.”
“I don’t know, the last time I slept in a bed with you seemed like the beginning of the whole disaster,” you joke. 
“Too soon,” Quinn chuckles, shaking his head. He stands up and reaches down, taking your hand and pulling you to your feet. “Come on.”
“Where?” you ask, though you’re in his bedroom before he has the chance to answer you. You watch him lay down on one side of the bed, gesturing for you to take the other side. Walking over you lay down beside him, rolling onto your side to face him. “It is really comfy,” you admit. 
“I wasn’t lying,” he tells you with a chuckle. "I do need to have a nap before the game though."
"That's why you brought me in here? To break the new sthat you need to have a nap?"
"Kinda," Quinn admits. "And because I did actually want to brag about the bed."
Rolling your eyes playfully you sit up, looking down at him. "Okay, Grandpa. What 24-year-old gets this excited about a bed?"
"It was expensive," Quinn exclaims.
"I'm sure it was," you reply with a giggle. "Do you want me to tuck you in for your nap before I go or are you okay all by yourself?"
"Get outta here," Quinn jokes, shaking his head.
Giggling you climb off the bed, heading back to the living room to continue keeping yourself busy for the afternoon. It wasn't hard, after an episode of your favourite show you head to the bathroom, finding a towel and hopping into the shower. By the time you're out of the shower Quinn is already up, startling you as you step out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel.
"You scared me," you breathe out, clutching the towel to your naked body.
"It's my apartment," Quinn says with a chuckle. "Why are you not expecting me to be here?"
"I thought you'd still be napping. Must need a lot of beauty sleep to look that cute," you tease, stepping past him towards the bedroom.
"We can't all just be naturally cute like you," he comments before you disappear behind the closed door of the guest bedroom. It was such an insignificant comment but you couldn't stop your stomach from filling with butterflies regardless.
Later that afternoon you're in the bathroom, running your fingers through your hair, fixing it slightly. Your eyes shift over your shoulder, seeing Quinn appear in the mirror behind you. Your lips curl into a soft smile, eyes drifting up and down his body. Quinn was always attractive to you but you were more used to Quinn in a t-shirt and shorts at the lake than Quinn in a suit before a game. 
“You look good,” you tell him, turning around to look at him. Leaning back against the counter you watch Quinn walk closer. “Very handsome,” you add, running your fingers over the lapels of his suit jacket once he’s close enough to you. 
“You look good too,” Quinn mumbles, his hands landing on your hips. 
You feel your breath catch in your throat, swallowing heavily. “Can’t believe this is the first time I get to see you play in Vancouver.”
“Hopefully it won’t be the last,” Quinn replies, stepping close enough to cause your heart to hammer heavily in your chest. “You sure you’re going to be okay to get there alone tonight?”
“I’m positive,” you whisper, your eyes flicking down to his lips. Your heart was hammering so fast in your chest you were sure it was about to burst. “Good luck tonight,” you whisper. 
Quinn smiles softly, leaning in a little closer. “Thank you,” he mumbles, his lips nearly brushing against yours. You could feel your breath catch in your throat, your hands running up his chest, resting you arms over his shoulders. Just seconds before your lips touch his your phone rings loudly on the counter beside you, making you jump. 
Laughing you pull back, pressing your hand over your heart. “Oh my god,” you breathe out, reaching over to silence your phone. “Sorry,” you add with a sheepish smile. “Really ruined the moment there.”
Quinn chuckles, leaning in to kiss your forehead quickly. “I’ll text you later, okay?”
You couldn’t deny the disappointment you were feeling that the moment really was ending this way. But you knew that Quinn said he was already running late and you weren’t about to make him any later. “Okay,” you whisper, watching him turn around and head out of the bathroom. 
You order yourself dinner after Quinn leaves, hanging out by yourself until you needed to head to the arena. The sky is dark already as you climb into the Uber outside Quinn’s apartment building, pulling your seatbelt on. 
“Going to the Canucks game?” you Uber driver asks you, looking at you through the mirror. 
“Yeah,” you tell him with a nod and a friendly smile. “First Canucks game here.”
“First game ever?”
You can’t help but laugh, shaking your head. “No, I’ve been to a few before. Never in Vancouver though.”
“Oh, really? Who’d you see play before?”
“Mostly the Devils,” you tell him, realizing the more information you gave the more you would need to explain. “I’m just here visiting a friend.”
“You’re from New Jersey?”
“No, I live in New York now.”
You watch him glance back at you, clearly not following along. “Something against the Rangers?”
“I guess you could say that,” you tell him with a shrug. You’re at the arena shortly after, heading in and finding your seat.
The game passes quickly, your attention on Quinn throughout the entirety of the game. It was different than watching Jack and Luke play. It felt more intense, like the outcome of the game would somehow be an indicator of the outcome of this entire trip.
When the game ends and the Canucks win with a score of 4-2 you can't help but feel a mixture of relief and happiness. It really did feel like a good omen of sorts.
You wait around the arena after the game, doing your best to fill the time till Quinn was ready to leave. You scroll though Instagram, liking post after post till you hit the point of not having a single new thing to look at. Eventually Quinn finds you, pulling you into a tight hug. 
“Congratulations,” you whisper, not pulling back. “You’re even more impressive to watch in person.”
Quinn laughs at your comment, shaking his head. He had always been humble, refusing to accept your compliments. “Do you want to go out for a drink or something? I know it’s kind of late but you flew all the way up here, I don’t want you to just have to stay in my apartment the whole time.”
Giggling you lean up closer, your hands on his shoulders. “I’d be fine staying in your apartment with you the whole time.” You lean in a little closer, lips almost brushing against his. “Doing anything with you,” you whisper. 
“You coming out with us or what?” someone calls, making you jump back from Quinn, turning in the direction of the voice. 
Quinn places his hands on your hips, pulling your body back against him. “No, I think we’re just going to do our thing.”
The man in front of you chuckles, shooting Quinn a knowing look. “Sounds good, man, see you later,” he says before heading off in the other direction. 
Giggling you spin around, looking up at Quinn. “Well, where are we going for drinks?”
Quinn reaches his hand down, sliding it into yours. “It’s a surprise,” he tells you. Guiding you out of the arena and to his car Quinn opens the passenger door for you. You climb into the car, pulling on your seatbelt. A few minutes later you’re on your way, heading downtown. 
The lounge Quinn takes you to is small and intimate. The table you’re seated at is equally as intimate, tucked away in the back of the restaurant. Opening the menu your eyes scan over the options, more specifically the prices on that menu. Glancing over at Quinn you watch him look at the menu himself. It wasn’t that you didn’t have the money for the drinks, you just never would have picked a place so expensive yourself. You had also never seen this side of Quinn. You weren’t oblivious, you knew he had money. But you were so used to him with a bottle of some middle-of-the-road beer he picked up at the liquor store on the way to the lake house that you could barely picture him ordering a $25 cocktail.
“Do you know what you’re going to get?” Quinn asks before looking up from the menu, an uncertain smile on his face when he realizes that you're already looking at him. “What?”
“Nothing,” you say, shaking your head as you look back to the menu. “No, I’m not sure yet. What are you getting?”
“A sazerac, probably,” Quinn tells you with a shrug, the menu already closed letting you know it was most likely more than just probably. 
“What’s that?” you whisper, your eyes scanning the menu again.
“Whisky,” Quinn tells you with a quiet chuckle. “Kind of like an old fashioned.”
“Right,” you drawl, nodding slowly. You couldn’t say you were that familiar with the old fashioned either but at least you knew what it was. “I think I’ll try the clover club.”
A few minutes later you order your drinks and you lean back in your chair, gazing across the table at Quinn. Was this a date? You hadn’t even stopped long enough to consider that possibility. You had gone out so, so many times before that you didn’t think the suggestion to go out this time was anything different than that. 
“What are you thinking about?” Quinn asks uncertainly. 
“You,” you whisper, with a small shrug. “Us,” you add a moment later. 
“What are you thinking about us?” Quinn presses, leaning a little closer. 
“I don’t really know,” you admit, glancing down at the table for a second. “Do you think there’ll ever be an us to really think about?”
Quinn swallows heavily, silence falling between the two of you as he stares across the small table at you. His silence makes you nervous, shifting in your chair under the intensity of his gaze. “I hope so,” he eventually tells you. 
“I-,” you begin, your sentence getting cut short as your server returns with your drinks. She sets a coupe glass in front of you filled with a pink liquid, three perfect raspberries balanced across the top of the glass on a cocktail skewer. “It’s so cute.”
“It’s fitting,” Quinn says, picking up his glass and taking a drink of his own cocktail. 
You can’t hold back your smile at Quinn’s comment, rolling your eyes playfully. “Okay, Casanova,” you tease. 
“Am I not allowed to flirt with you now?” 
Giggling you shake your head, “of course you can,” you tell him before picking up your glass and taking a sip. It’s stronger than you expected, catching you off guard as you slowly set it back down. Maybe that’s why they were so expensive. “I asked for some time off work before I came out here,” you say suddenly, watching Quinn closely, trying to gauge his reaction. Of course it had been presumptuous of you to take the time off before discussing it, but you had the vacation days anyway and you had assumed two days probably wouldn’t feel like long enough. 
“Yeah?” Quinn says, reaching over and taking your hand, running his thumb across the back of it. “Does that mean you’re staying longer?”
Shrugging you stare down at your interlocked hands. “Depends if you want me to stay.”
“Of course…I don’t want you to leave yet,” Quinn tells you with a reassuring squeeze of your hand. 
“Good, because I don’t want to leave yet either,” you tell him. Picking up your glass you take another sip of your drink, the liquid going down a lot smoother now that you were expecting it. 
The two of you sit there at that table for hours, over multiple drinks and a couple appetizers. Your conversation is comfortable, the issues that had brought you to Vancouver in the first place no longer seeming so heavy or intense. Quinn pays the bill at the end of the night and your previous thoughts about the possibility of the evening being a date come flooding back into your mind. 
Walking back into Quinn’s apartment you kick off your shoes, sliding your jacket off. “Thank you for tonight,” you say as you hang your jacket in the coat closet. 
Quinn glances over at you, eyebrows furrowed. “Thanks for what?”
Shrugging you lean against the wall behind you. “I don’t know…taking me out, showing me a bit of Vancouver, paying for the bill.”
“It wasn’t a big deal,” Quinn assures you. “I wanted to.”
Reaching over you take Quinn’s hands in yours and pull him in front of you. “Just take the thank you, Quinn,” you whisper. 
“Okay, fine…you’re welcome,” Quinn mumbles, staring down at you. 
There’s an intensity in the moment, a heaviness in the air. Your heart was racing so fast, stomach filled with butterflies. The apartment is silent, so silent you begin to wonder if Quinn can hear it all. The shakiness in your breath, the hammering of your heart in your chest. The apartment is dim, lit by a single warm lightbulb a few feet away. Your eyes gravitate down to his lips and this time you don’t care how obvious it is. 
He begins to lean in and your patience quickly wears thing, fingers grasping at the fabric of his shirt, pulling him down to press your lips to his. His hands land on your hips, pulling them closer to him, your shoulder blades pressing back into the wall. Sliding your hand up you tangle your fingers in his hair, your tongue brushing against his. His grasp on your hips tightens, a quiet moan slipping from your lips. 
Your mind was hazy, your emotions overwhelming. Your body was begging for more, his hands on your body felt intoxicating. Sliding your arm over his shoulder you lean your body further into him, desperate to be as close to him as you could, desperate for more. When you pull away it’s to catch your breath, steady the racing of your heart. “I love you,” you whisper against his lips. 
“I love you too,” Quinn replies, pressing another gentle kiss to your lips. He’s smiling when he pulls back, reaching down to take your hand. He guides you into the living room, sitting down and pulling you down beside him. He places his hand on your thigh, fingers just a little too high for your mind not to be filled with less-than-PG thoughts. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?”
“I, um, y-yeah,” you stammer. Quinn knows what he’s doing and you can tell by the smirk on his lips as he hands you the remote. Taking it from him you put something on the TV, the very first movie you could find that seemed alright. 
You’re not watching the movie long before you feel Quinn’s fingers move on your thigh, a heavy breath escaping your lips. Your eyes flicker down to this hand, watching him brush his thumb on your leg. When you turn your attention to Quinn you see that he’s not watching the movie at all, his eyes are locked on you.
Pushing his hand off your thigh you swing your leg over his body, your hands resting on his shoulders as you lean down to kiss him. It’s fast and eager, your back arching as you roll your hips forward. 
“Fuck,” Quinn breathes out as he pulls back. “Baby, you’re…,” he begins, cutting himself off with a strangled moan. You didn’t need him to finish the sentence, you knew what you were doing when you felt him growing hard beneath you. 
His hands slide underneath your shirt, his fingers warm against your skin as he slides them up your waist. Pulling back you let him tug your shirt off, dropping it onto the ground beside you. Quinn leans closer, pressing his lips to yours as he unhooks your bra. You feel your bra come undone and you pull back. Your eyes lock with Quinn’s as you slowly slide the bra down your arms. It wasn’t like it was the first time he had seen you naked, but this time it was different. This time you were inviting him to do far more than just skinny dip with you. 
Setting the bra down Quinn places his hands on your waist, sliding further down towards the edge of the couch. Leaning in your lips lock with his again, your body begging for more. “Quinn,” you whimper against his lips. 
“Yes, baby?” he mumbles, his hands exploring your body, sliding to your hips as he tugs you in a little closer. 
“I need you…please,” you whisper. 
He doesn’t need you to say anything more, standing up and pulling you with him. He leads you into his bedroom, pushing you across the room till the backs of your thighs hit the mattress. Laying back on the bed you gasp in surprise as he lifts you further onto the bed, hovering over you as he unbuttons your jeans. “Quinn,” you gush. 
“What?” he asks with a smirk, pulling your jeans down your legs as you lift your hips to make it easier.  
“I just didn’t expect…this,” you tell him, sitting up as you push his shirt up his torso, letting him take over and toss it aside. 
“I can slow down,” he offers, running his hands down your thighs. 
“No,” you say quickly, giggling at your own eagerness. “Please, don’t,” you add. 
Quinn chuckles, nodding as he leans down, pressing his lips to your inner thigh. He moves further up your thigh, and each time his lips brush against your skin your body jolts with desire. Slowly he pulls your underwear down your legs, letting them drop onto the floor. Your breathing is heavy by the time his tongue brushes against the spot that you had been nearly begging for. 
“O-oh,” you gasp as he flicks his tongue over your clit. You weren’t sure what you were expecting but whatever it was you weren’t expecting it to feel this good. 
Your fingers tangle in his hair, back arching as you moan loudly. “Fuck,” you breathe out, breathing heavily. His hands wrap around your thighs, your fingers curling into the fabric of the comforter on the bed, trying to keep yourself still as waves of pleasure rip through you. 
Your body flushes with warmth, desperate to reach your climax as your hips begin to squirm. Quinn presses his arm against your hips, stilling them as his tongue flicks against your clit. “Oh fuck,” you whine, moaning loudly. A second later your muscles are tensing, waves of pleasure ripping through your body. “O-oh my god,” you cry out, flinching away from his tongue when the sensation grows too intense. “Okay, okay,” you mumble, hands cradling his face as you tug him back to your lips. Pressing your lips to his you kiss him deeply, your legs wrapping around his torso. “Please,” you whimper.
“Please, what?” Quinn teases.
Your breath leaves your lips shakily, eyes locked with his. “Please…I want you inside of me,” you plead. 
Quinn leans in, kissing you gently before climbing off the bed. You watch him open the nightstand, grabbing a condom. You reach over, taking his hand and pulling him towards you, till he was standing in front of where you were sitting on the edge of the bed. Looking up at him you unbutton his pants, slowly pushing them down. 
“Fuck,” Quinn breathes out, his hand on the back of your head, fingers weaving into your hair. You slide his underwear off a second later, your hand wrapping around his erection. Leaning down you swirl your tongue around his tip, taking him into your mouth a second later. He lets out a shuttering groan, his fingers grasping at your hair. “Holy shit,” he mutters. 
You take him as far into your mouth as you can each time you bob your head up and down, suppressing your gags as your eyes well with tears from the sensation. You can feel the saliva building in your mouth, wrapping your hand around the base of his cock, the saliva dripping down onto your fingers. Moving your free hand to Quinn’s thigh you readjust on your knees, the hardwood floor below you is not particularly comfortable, but the quiet groans he’s making make it worth it. 
A few minutes later Quinn pulls back and you wipe your lips with the back of your hand, staring up at him. “You’re so beautiful,” Quinn mutters, running his thumb along your bottom lip. He leans down to kiss you again, gentle and slow. 
Pulling back Quinn opens the condom, sliding it on quickly. Scooting back on the bed you reach up, grabbing his hand and pulling him down on top of you. He kisses you passionately as he slides his hand between your legs, fingers brushing over your entrance before slowly pushing one finger inside you. He moves slowly at first, brushing up slightly, sliding another finger inside you a minute later, your moans growing in volume. 
He pulls his hand back quickly, wrapping around his dick, sliding himself inside you. It’s slow at first, almost teasing as he watches you beneath him, moaning quietly. “Oh my god,” you whimper, your hands grasping onto his shoulders. “You feel so good inside me,” you whisper as he picks up the speed, each thrust sending waves of pleasure through your body. 
Leaning up Quinn places his hands on the backs of your thighs, gently pushing your legs back further. Sliding your hand down you run your fingers over your clit, Quinn watching you for a moment as your moans grow in frequency. “Oh, fuck,” Quinn groans, tipping his head back to look up at the ceiling. “I’m close.”
Your fingers pick up speed when you hear Quinn say he’s close, bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm just a moment later. As your body is overtaken by the familiar tensing of your muscles you cry out in pleasure, your free hand wrapping around Quinn’s bicep, fingers digging into his arm. 
Quinn finishes just a minute after you, groaning as his thrusts slow in pace, slowly pulling himself out of you. He leans down and kisses your forehead gently before pushing himself off the bed, heading towards the bathroom as he takes off the condom. 
Laying on the bed you stare at the ceiling, trying your best to catch your breath. It had been awhile since you had sex in general but a very long time since you had sex that felt that good. Your hand rests on your bare torso, rising and falling with each heavy breath. You turn your head to the side when Quinn returns, tugging on a pair of underwear before sitting on the bed beside you. “How are you feeling?” he asks. 
“Good,” you tell him with a giggle. “Really good.”
“Good,” Quinn echoes with a chuckle, leaning down to quickly peck your lips. “I’m going to get us some water, do you want anything else?”
Shaking your head you sit up, tugging your underwear back on. “No, just the water would be great.”
“I’ll be right back,” Quinn tells you, kissing your forehead again before leaving the bedroom. 
Pulling the blankets back you slide under them, realizing just how tired you really were. Quinn returns a minute later, setting a glass of water on the nightstand beside you. He joins you in bed, reaching over and pulling you closer. His fingers brush against your back, your arm resting on his chest. 
“Was tonight a date?” you whisper. 
A soft breath of laughter leaves Quinn’s lips as he tips his head up to look at you. “Well I thought it was but that’s kind of embarrassing if you didn’t.”
Giggling you lift your head, looking up at him. “I didn’t know but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want it to be.” Rolling over you slide one leg over his body, straddling him as you lean in, your lips hovering over his. “We can call it a date but I don’t usually kiss on the first date and look at where tonight went,” you joke. 
“Well I’m definitely looking forward to the second date then,” Quinn replies with a chuckle, his hands on your hips as he rolls you off of him to hover over you. “I’ll make sure you know it’s a date next time,” he says with a smirk, kissing you gently. “Get you some flowers or something.”
“Ooh,” you say with a giggle, running your fingers along his arm. “I love flowers.”
“I’ll get you all the flowers you ever want.”
“I didn’t expect you to be so romantic, Quinn,” you tease, leaning up to peck his cheek. 
Quinn shrugs, settling onto the bed beside you. “I’m not normally.”
Rolling your eyes playfully you shake your head. “Okay…whatever you say.”
“I’m being serious,” Quinn assures you with a quiet laugh. 
Turning your head your eyes meet with his and you realize he’s not joking. “Well please don’t stop, I like it.”
“I won’t,” Quinn promises, leaning over and kissing your forehead gently. 
Smiling softly you curl in closer to Quinn, letting your eyes fall shut as you feel the steady rise and fall of his chest under your hand. It doesn’t take long for you fall asleep in his arms, feeling an overwhelming sense of contentment that extends into your dreams, lulling you into a deep sleep.
Your eyes flutter open the next morning, rolling onto your side in the dim bedroom, the blinds blocking out the early morning light. “Good morning,” you whisper when you watch Quinn’s eyes open, turning on his side to face you. 
Quinn reaches over, brushing your hair behind your ear. “Morning,” he mumbles with a tired smile. “How’d you sleep?”
“Really good,” you whisper, unable to contain your own smile. “Did you sleep okay?” Rolling onto your stomach you move closer to him, resting your arm on his chest. 
“Yes,” Quinn replies, his hand sliding down to rest on your lower back. “Was last night okay?”
“More than okay,” you assure him, drawing imaginary shapes on his chest with your fingertips. “What do you want to do today?” you ask him, knowing it was one of very few days where he wasn’t doing something for hockey. 
Quinn shrugs, brushing his thumb along the skin of your lower back, sending a shiver of pleasure up your spine. “Anything as long as it’s with you.”
“What a coincidence…that’s also what I want to do today.”
You spend most of the morning in the apartment, not going more than a few minutes here and there without touching each other in some manner. Brief kisses here and there, a hand on your back, your arms wrapped around him. The afternoon brings you out of the apartment and into the streets of Vancouver, Quinn showing you around the rainy city. 
You spend the rest of the week at Quinn’s apartment. Watching movies on the couch, making dinners, going to another one of his games, afternoons spent at his kitchen table working through projects your laptop. You spent a night alone there when he had a road game, curled up on the couch in one of his t-shirts, watching the game on the TV in his living room. Everything felt so comfortable, so normal. Like this was the life you were supposed to be living. Just you and Quinn in an apartment together. 
But no matter how good it felt you knew it wasn’t going to last. You had to go home, had to get back to your job and the classes that you were barely keeping up with online. It didn’t matter how much you wanted to continue living in this blissful state with Quinn, it just wasn’t reasonable. 
Your time in Vancouver had to come to an end, the time slipping by so much faster than normal. Before you knew it you didn’t have another day or even another night together.  
You force a deep breath into your lungs, the lights in the airport feeling too bright, the air a little too cold, the bustling of people a little too loud. “Well,” you whisper, blinking quickly as you glance around, at anything and everything but Quinn. You were certain that if you looked at him a little too long you wouldn’t be able to keep it together. “I, um, I guess I should go…don’t want to miss my flight,” you mumble, though if you were being honest you wouldn’t be too upset if you did miss your flight. 
Quinn nods, reaching over and pulling you into him. The two of you stand there in silence, neither one wanting to pull back, not wanting the inevitable to happen. “I’m going to miss you.”
Sniffling quietly you curl your fingers into his hoodie. “Me too,” you whisper, pulling back just enough to look up at him, your hands still on his arms. “Don’t get too busy that you can’t talk to me when I call,” you joke, a sad breath of laughter following. Reaching up you wipe away your tears as you take a small step back. 
“Never,” Quinn assures you, a clear hesitation as he lets you go. “Have a good flight.”
“Thank you,” you whisper, slowly turning around and heading towards the security line. You don’t look back, didn’t want him to see the stream of tears that you had been holding in all morning running down your cheeks. You fight through your emotions till you're through security, finding yourself a seat to hide away from the rest of the world as the sleeves of your hoodie grow damp with the tears you’re wiping from your face. 
Who would have thought that leaving on such great terms would be just as hard as leaving thinking you were never going to see him again. 
477 notes · View notes
cozage · 1 year
Note
Hello! First of all, I love your writing and your content. Can I ask for HC on Law saying to their romantic interest something like: "If you don't like how we run things here, then leave" after a heated discussion which actually makes them leave the crew, and after Law goes to great extents to amend that, Angst to comfort.
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A/N: Hi friend! This was a fun prompt and ive been working on it for a while! Thanks for your patience! (It’s not completely proofread, so I apologize for any mistakes. I may go back and edit it better later, but i wanted to get this out for you and everyone today!)
Characters: Law x gn reader
Word Count: 2.2k
Leaving
“If you don’t like how I run things, then leave,” Law spat out, turning back to the papers at his desk. “I don’t have time for you questioning my decisions.”
You stood there for a moment, dumbfounded at his words and their harshness. 
“Law-” you start.
“Leave!” He snapped, not even looking up from his work.
You turned on your heel and rushed out the door, covering your face to hide your tears. You ran to the Captain’s Quarters and threw the few belongings you had into a duffel bag, slung it over your shoulder, and left the room. You didn’t want to say goodbye to your crewmates or this life, but you had heard Law’s message loud and clear. Leave. You were no longer welcome here. 
You passed by the kitchen and hang out area, and you popped your tear-stained face in the room, trying your best to act casual. 
“Uhm-” you started to speak, but the moment that eyes turned, you burst out into tears again. 
“I came to say goodbye,” you sobbed as Shachi and Penguin rushed to you. 
“What happened?” the two of them demanded, holding you in a tight hug. 
“I was told to leave, so-” you hiccuped into Shachi’s shoulder, and pulled away from the two men. “I just didn’t want to leave without-”
“You’re not leaving,” Penguin said, looking past you to the hallway. 
“I am,” you replied, wiping your tears off your face, trying to compose yourself. “I have to.”
“You can’t!” Shachi cried, tears springing from his own eyes.
“I’m sorry,” you said, tears welling up again. You loved these people. They were your family. They were all you knew for the past few years. 
But you couldn’t live like this with Law anymore. This constant back and forth, his refusal to commit to you and his mood switches between fiery hot passion and icy cold shoulders. The way he would coo promises in your ear while you laid pressed against his chest one moment, just for him to spend the whole day without acknowledging your existence. You were going insane, and you simply couldn’t handle it anymore. 
“I love you guys,” you said, pulling away from them and heading for the door. “I’ll call when I get situated, okay?”
“Situated where?” Penguin asked. “Just stay, we’ll get the captain to reverse his decision. Please-”
“No,” you said, with painful finality. “He made his decision, Penguin. I have to go.”
And with that you climbed up the ladder and walked out the door. You jumped off the deck and onto the dock of a foreign island you knew nothing about, trying to think of your next move. You desperately wanted to look back one last time, in hopes that Law would be there, watching you go. But you resisted the urge to turn around, and you walked boldly into the village to find a new adventure, hoping the hole in your heart would heal with time. 
--
The sounds of shoes running down the hallway alerted Law that something was wrong. Then several bangs on the door. 
“Captain!!!” several voices called out, and Law quickly opened the door.
“What?” he asked, looking at their panicked faces. “What is it?”
“What did you do to Y/N?!” Shachi demanded, tears in his eyes. 
Law’s eye twitched and he grinded his teeth. “What happened is none of your business!” he shouted, slamming the door in their face. 
“Captain!!” they all cried. “Please change your mind!”
“Room,” Law said, creating a blue bubble that only encapsulated himself. “Silence,” he said, cutting off sound to the outside world. One of the many tools he had taken from Corazon. 
Law wasn’t sure how long the crew continued to bang and yell at his door, but he didn’t really care. The issue between you and him should be solved between the two of you, the rest of the crew didn’t need to be involved. 
By the time he went to bed, the crew had thankfully dispersed. He was irritated with you causing such a scene amongst your crewmates, but he would talk to you about it later. He walked to his room, and was surprised to find that the light was off. Normally you went to bed far before him, but you always left some kind of light on for him to find his way to the bed with you. He was even more surprised to find the bed completely empty and cold. There was no trace of you or your belongings in his room. 
“Y/N is gone,” said a broken voice from behind him. Bepo. 
Law turned to face the bear, confused by his statement. 
“Y/N said you told them to leave. So they left,” Bepo explained. 
“No-” Law said, looking around. “I didn’t mean to leave the ship. I just meant-”
“You always do this, captain. You always push people away when they only want to love you.”
“I don’t need a lecture, Bepo,” Law hissed. He was starting to panic now, he couldn’t lose you. You were one of the few people he trusted and let get close to him, he…
“Go. Y/N is on the island somewhere. Make it right.” 
Law could hear Bepo’s voice getting thick with tears. He knew the bear was trying to be brave, but he didn’t care at the moment. He took off down the maze of hallways and climbed up the ladder to the deck. He scanned the shoreline, looking for your frame. He prayed that it would just be a simple outburst you were throwing, a show of defiance you were putting on until he came and apologized and made it right. But you were nowhere to be found. 
He jumped off the deck and onto the dock, racing towards town. He was racking his brain on where you would have gone. You had no family or friends here. What were you thinking, going off alone with no support system? Was your plan just to abandon him and leave him alone again? The thought of never seeing you again made him sick to his stomach. 
He couldn’t lose you. Not after all you all had been through. It wasn’t fair. He was angry at you and at the world, but he was mostly angry at himself. He had been selfish, and he had put himself in this position because of it. He had to amend that. He had to make it right. 
He finally found you, sitting alone at a ramen shop. He stood in the crowded street and watched you for a moment, admiring the way you looked under the soft glow of the shop lights. 
You looked tired, but you were as beautiful as ever. You were talking quietly to the man next to you; he must’ve said something to make you laugh, because your eyes lit up and your voice rang out. Law couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at seeing some stranger bring you joy, and he resisted the urge to run to you. 
“Do you come here often?” Law heard the man ask you. “I wouldn’t mind doing this again.”
Law saw you hesitate for a moment, weighing your options. “I actually just got here,” you finally said.
“Oh?” the man questioned, looking around. “Need a place to stay while you get settled in?”
Law’s blood boiled. He knew what the man was implying, and he needed to put an end to it. He started toward you, but before he could make it, you spoke. 
“That’s kind of you,” you started, your eyes darting around the restaurant nervously. “But I have a place at the moment.”
“I see,” said the man, looking a little dejected. “Well, I had fun tonight, and I hope to see you again.” 
You smiled politely and nodded at the man. “I did as well. I’ll see you around!” Your voice held enthusiasm that made Law’s heart pang, and he made a decision. 
He waited for the man to leave, and then quickly took the seat next to you. 
You were staring at your ramen, and didn’t bother to look at the man who had taken Jiato’s seat. One conversation with a stranger was enough for you today. You just wanted to curl up and go back to your hotel room and cry yourself to sleep.
“One pork ramen bowl, please,” a familiar voice said to the waiter. 
Your head whipped to the side to find your captain. Ex-captain, you reminded yourself. 
Law didn’t meet your eyes. He just kept staring ahead of him. “Do you actually want to leave?” he asked. 
You swallowed down the lump forming in your throat as you stared at him. You hadn’t expected to see him of all people. 
You stayed quiet for a while, and finally he turned and looked at you. You cut your eyes away quickly, opting to look at your empty ramen bowl instead.  
“Y/N-ya,” he prompted, waiting for an answer. 
“I can’t keep living like that,” you finally said. 
Law shot you an irritated glance and opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but decided against it. 
“You can say it.” You spoke softly, your words almost drowned out in the noisy restaurant. 
He hesitated, but found the right words after a moment. “You didn’t have to leave.”
“You told me to.”
He scoffed. “I didn’t mean literally.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I did take it literally,” you shot back, trying to keep your face and your tone calm. You had just gotten out of a fight with him earlier today, you didn’t need another one flaring up again. And so publicly. “I told you, Law. I’m tired of this back and forth. So when you said leave, I just…there didn’t seem like another option for me.”
He gritted his teeth, as if he were holding back another argument to throw at you. “Well,  you didn’t have to leave. I-”
You stared at him, waiting for the words to come. But they didn’t. His cheeks pinked and his eyes averted your gaze. 
“What?” you asked, continuing to watch him. “You what?”
His pork ramen arrived, and he turned his attention to his food instead. You knew what he was doing. He was trying to get you to come back to the ship without ever actually apologizing. Or having anything change. But you were serious when you said you couldn’t live like that any more. You’d rather start a new, fresh life than keep going in this vicious cycle. 
You grabbed your bag and dropped some money on the table. “Goodbye, Law,” you said, turning away so he couldn’t see the tears in your eyes. 
“Stop,” he whispered. But you were already out on the street, out of earshot. 
“Hey!” he jumped up, chasing you out onto the street. 
He found you quickly and reached out, grabbing your arm. You turned around, shocked at the sudden pressure on your wrist. 
“Law! Sto-” He cut off your words with a kiss. Or he tried to, but as your lips met his, you pulled away. 
“What are you doing?!” you demanded. “Stop!”
Your loud voice drew several people’s gaze, everyone stopping to make sure you were okay. You could hear people murmuring around you and feel their stares. 
Law dropped your hand, giving you a confused and annoyed glare. “I’m trying to- Do you mind?!” he shouted at everyone watching you all. 
He looked back at you, his voice softer again. “I’m sorry, okay? I was stupid and selfish. Please come back to the ship. Please stay. Please don’t ever leave my side again.”
You chewed on your lip. “Law-”
“I’ll never ignore you or put you second again. I can’t lose you. You’re the closest thing to family I still have and-” his voice broke, and you could see tears in his eyes. “I love you, okay?”
You blinked in shock. You were certainly not expecting that kind of confession to come from him. You weren’t sure whether you wanted to cry or hug him. 
Law made the decision for you, and wrapped you in his arms. You could feel him peppering the top of your head with kisses, and you began to cry into his chest. 
“Don’t cry. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured in your ear, and you pulled away to wipe the tears from your face. 
“Lets go get your stuff and get back to the ship,” he offered, entwining his fingers with yours. 
You nodded, squeezing his hand. You felt more hopeful about the future than you had in a long time. A new chapter of your life truly had begun. 
1K notes · View notes
virginsexgod69 · 2 months
Note
REQUEST ‼️‼️‼️
I’ve always wanted to read one where the reader is one of Hershel’s daughters (set in season 2). When Daryl and the group show up the reader won’t stop teasing Daryl and eventually he can’t take it anymore. Please make my dreams come true 😭😭🤘. (p.s virgin reader would be +50 points ;)
❝ V-Card ❞
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pairing (S2) Daryl Dixon x virgin!fem!Reader
cw loss of virginity, unprotected p in v, lowkey inexperienced daryl, but also not really?, teasing, some pining, daryl kinda being a boob man, reader being a little pervy at times
note i am so sorry i kept you waiting 32 days for this request @mygrandmaschinacabinet, i really hope you like this and thank you for your patience and kind comment on my other post!
p.s. just bc reader is hershel's daughter does not imply anything ab her appearence
~5.k words
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 Living on a farm that was fairly far from society, it was a given that you wouldn't see good looking guys too often. But being a good looking girl, the guys you didn't want were always the ones after you, and you'd always have to turn them down. When she gets older, she's gonna have to fight off boys with a stick, was something your grandma would often tease your father, Hershel, about. You laughed it off, not paying any mind to it, but boy did she end up being right. You spent a good portion of your high school years rejecting your suitors, none of which were good enough for you, and none of which you really wanted. But when you finally laid eyes on the most beautiful man you've ever seen, he happened to be one who seemed to pay you no attention. 
 Odd circumstances brought the beautiful man, whom you quickly learned was named Daryl Dixon, to your farm. Otis shot a kid, Hershel took him in to care for, and his dad's group eventually made a home on your father's land. You couldn’t help but ogle at him from your bedroom window whenever you got the chance. The way his biceps flexed whenever he worked with his arms had your virgin pussy aching to be filled by him. He was a man who you’d let do things to you that you’d let no other man before even think he had a chance of doing. 
“Not this again,” Maggie complained upon entering your room. You were perched at your window -like you have been since the group first arrived- watching Daryl skin some squirrels. No one could look as good as he did while doing such a grisly task. 
“Can you blame me? Jus’ look at him,” you replied dreamily. 
“No thanks.” 
“Whatever. You have your eye candy, I have mine.” 
“Eye candy? What’re you talkin’ about?” She asked defensively. 
“Glenn. I’ve seen the way you look at him, like he’s a piece of meat,” you teased. 
“Whatever! Do you need anythin’? I’m goin’ out on a run.” 
“With Glenn?” 
 She let out an annoyed huff and exited the room, not awaiting your response. But you didn’t need anything anyway. You went back to watching Daryl. The sweltering Georgia heat caused sweat to drench his sleeveless shirt and drip from his short, dark hair. He looked like he walked out of one of your many wet dreams. Just then, an idea popped into your head. You hurried down to the kitchen and filled a glass with water, cooling it with the scoops of ice you added. Surely this kind deed would put you on his radar. 
“Hey, Daryl,” you cheerily greeted as you approached the rugged man. He sat on a stump, now gutting the squirrels he already skinned. He grunted in response, not looking up from his work. Your smile dropped, not that it mattered, considering he wasn’t even looking at you. 
“Brought you some water. It’s pretty hot out here and I wouldn’t want ya gettin’ dehydrated,” you said as you held out the cold glass, now dripping with condensation. “Thanks.” He grabbed the glass, his fingers slightly brushing yours, sending a tingling through your spine. He threw his head back, downing the water. A small stream of water dripped down his chin, then his neck, sliding down his shirt no longer in your vision. You squeezed your thighs together. Every little thing he did drove you crazy. You felt like a victorian man who’d just seen a peek of a woman’s ankle whenever you were around Daryl. 
“You uh… Ya need somethin’?” He asked when he noticed you haven’t left yet. You froze. You didn’t need anything, but you didn’t want to leave either. 
“Jus’ came to check on ya, I guess,” you muttered. 
“ ‘M fine?” He tossed the squirrel’s guts into a bucket. 
“Well, alright. My work here is done!” You cringed as the words left your mouth. You grabbed the emptied glass and walked back into the house, chastising yourself the entire way. You wanted nothing more than to have him look at you the way other guys do, but he barely give you the time of day. 
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 The glimmer of sunbeams on your face woke you up the next morning. You glanced at the analog clock on your nightstand that read 11:36. You hopped out of bed and eagerly hurried to your window, hoping Daryl would be back from hunting or looking for that little girl or whatever else it was he did when he wasn’t in his usual spot. He was sat on that stump again, but this time he was cleaning his crossbow with that red rag he kept on him. You couldn’t take it anymore, you had  to do something. He couldn’t keep getting away with being so hot and so uninterested in you. 
 You readied yourself in the bathroom, making sure every hair was in place and every tooth was brushed. You debated putting on makeup. You had some leftover from before, but never had a reason to use it, not until now. You layered on some mascara until your lashes looked twice as long and twice as full and coated your lips with some tinted gloss. You stared into your closet debating on what you thought Daryl’d like better. Your tightest, shortest shorts and a nearly see-through tank top. 
“What’re doin’ all dolled up like that?” Your younger sister, Beth asked upon entering the kitchen. 
“Makin’ lunch for D-,” you stopped yourself, not wanting another sister catching onto your thing for Daryl, “for the group out there.” 
“Daddy doesn’t want us wastin’ all our stuff on them,” she protested. You rolled your eyes at her. She could be such a goody-two-shoes sometimes. “What he don’ know won’ hurt him.” You cut a piece of the sandwich you made and handed it to Beth. 
“Eat this and keep quiet.”  
You assembled the sandwich and a glass of lemonade on a tray and carried it over to his lone camp. He didn’t look at you until you were standing before him holding the tray of food. His eyes slowly made their way up to yours, lingering on your bare legs and exposed cleavage on their way up. You couldn’t help the small smirk that tugged the corners of your mouth at this small victory. He quickly averted his gaze and set his crossbow down. 
“Wha’s all this?” He asked, nodding his head toward the tray in your arms. 
“Made ya lunch. Figured you’d be hungry after all that huntin’ and searchin’ you been doin’,” you answered as you set down the tray. 
“Uh, thanks?” He seemed confused, but grateful nonetheless. “Of course,” you replied with a bright smile before sauntering off, swaying your hips more than usual. Unbeknownst to you, he watched you until the door closed behind you. 
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 In the days that passed, you upped the ante on your teasing. Daryl noticed. At noon almost everyday, you’d bring him lunch in risqué little outfits. Not quite skimpy, but just enough to tease him. And tease him they did. He already was too nervous to look at you, afraid he might scare you off with his gruff nature and lack of experience with women. He’d choose, instead, to catch glimpses of you when you weren’t watching. Like when you’d leave after bringing him something, or when you’d be around doing farm-work or interacting with the other members of his group. But when you started wearing those revealing outfits, it became harder for him to keep from looking at you. But when he made eye contact with you, he became so nervous and shy that he had to look away. You were the sun. He could feel your warmth, even when he couldn’t see you. You were so bright and beautiful that he felt pulled to look at you, but whenever he did, it couldn’t be for long because he’d forcibly look away, your bright smile burning his sensitive retinas. 
 Speaking of the sun, there you were. “Daryl!” You called as you ran to him. The actual sun glowed behind you, making you look even more like an angel. He was atop one of your horses ready to leave the farm to look for Sophia. He was shocked to see you since you usually weren’t up until noon. He’d know since that’s around the time he sees you watching him through your window. 
“Yeah?” He grunted. 
“Ya goin’ out to look for that little girl?” Once you were out of the sunlight, he could actually get a good look at you.  Something in him stirred when he saw you in the little dress you had on. It was a cream color with ruffles at the bottom and it gave him a good view of your breasts from his position on the horse. He quickly tore his eyes away and looked at the view ahead of him, which was nowhere near as beautiful as you. 
“I figure you’ll be gone for a bit, so I brought you a little bite to eat,” you said holding up a few muffins you made the other night wrapped in cheesecloth. 
“T-thanks,” he stuttered. Despite how frequent it was, he was always taken aback by the kindness you show him. He’s never been treated the way you treat him before and it caught him off guard. 
“Be back by dinner, okay?” It wasn’t a command, more of a hopeful question, but made his heart flutter. 
“I’ll try.” He didn’t want to make any promises he couldn’t keep. You stood there fiddling with your dress about to say something but deciding against it each time. 
“Wha’ is it?” 
“B-be safe out there!” You blurted before scampering off. He found it odd how you could be so bold with your teasing, yet shy when it came to actually talking to him. 
  Your words echoed in his head as he searched for any sign of Carol’s lost daughter. Your request of be back by dinner, okay? motivated him to get back to the farm, despite his injuries from the horse tossing him down a cliff making it difficult for him to move. But what really stuck with him was your horrified scream when you saw Andrea shoot him. That scream haunted his dreams while he was unconscious. The terror of it being the last thing he’d hear from you was his real nightmare. So when he heard your soft “Hey,” he felt relief wash over him, despite the pain everywhere else. He blinked his dry eyes open only for the first thing for him to see being your tits. You had on a loose t-shirt with no bra underneath. He didn’t know if this was a part of your teasing or a pure mistake, but either way, his cock stirred at the sight. You leaned down further to look into his eyes. 
“How ya feelin’?” You ask, placing the back of your hand to his forehead. He tried to croak out a response, but his throat was too dry. You quickly grabbed the glass of water at his bedside and helped him drink it. 
“Better?” 
“ ‘M fine,” he said. You gave him a look that said you didn’t believe him, but were humoring him anyway. “You were injured pretty badly, Daryl,” you said as you gently stroked his hair. He caught himself before he could fully melt into your touch. In fact, he moved away from it. 
“I know, ‘m fine,” he snapped before trying to roll over, away from you. He didn’t like you seeing him like this. So weak and frail, having to depend on those around him. He didn’t see the hurt expression that took over your pretty face. But, to his luck, you didn’t let him push you away. Instead, you toed off your shoes and got into the bed beside him, facing him. He hoped to the high heavens that you couldn’t see the redness that blossomed on his face when you flashed your bright smile at him. 
“I’ll keep ya company,” you promised. 
“Don’ need no company, said ‘m fine.” He didn’t know why he was so adamant about pushing you away. The minute he realized you were in here, he brightened up. He didn’t want his sunshine to leave, but he couldn’t help the storm that was brewing inside him. 
“Well, if you really want me to leave, I’ll go.” You were almost out of the bed before his clammy hand grabbed your wrist. 
“Nah, you can stay,” he said, prompting the return of that bright smile. 
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 When you woke up, the sun was setting and Daryl’s arm was around your waist, holding you close. Your heart swelled, this was all you ever wanted, to be in Daryl’s arms. Okay, well you wanted more than just his arm around you, but small victories! You gently moved his arm off you so you could get up and get some dinner from him and yourself. 
“What were you doin’ in there?” Your father asked as soon as you stepped out of the room. He stood outside, about to come in, holding a tray of food for the bowman. 
“Nothin’, Daddy, I was jus’ checkin up on our patient!” It was the truth, but it felt like a lie. 
“Since earlier this afternoon?” He pressed. 
“Lost track of time,” you explained. 
“Now, honey, I know you’re just lookin’ out for him, but-“ 
“I know, I know, you don’t really trust them, but I’m just lovin’ thy neighbor, so to speak.” You bargained. 
That response seemed to satisfy him for now. He handed you the tray of food to give you Daryl. 
“Daryl, dinner,” you called softly upon reentering the room. He groaned, but woke up anyway. He tried to sit up, but winced in pain. You set the tray down and quickly ran to his side to help him out. You adjusted his pillows and helped him to a sitting position. 
“Wha’s fer dinner?” He asked, glancing at the bowl of soup on the tray beside him on the bed. You hummed in thought before dipping your finger into the bowl and sucking it clean, making sure your lips were pouty as you did so, hoping to tease Daryl. 
“Tomato.” He hummed noncommittally before reaching for the spoon. You swatted his hand away. “Nuh uh, you’re still healing, let me feed you.” 
“I can feed myself,” he protested. You furrowed your brows and pouted at him. He sighed and rolled his eyes, but opened his mouth slightly, waiting for a bite. You smiled, scooping up some soup and spooning it into his mouth, making sure to lean forward as to give him a front row seat to the view down your shirt. You saw him avoid looking the first few times, but soon he was unable to resist taking a peek, and soon his peeking became staring (however, he pretended not to be whenever you looked back up at him). 
“Enjoy the soup?” You asked once the bowl was mostly empty. 
“S’alright,” he said as he nibbled on a cracker. You grabbed the bowl and drank the rest of the soup directly from it. 
“Goddammit!” You cursed when a glob of soup fell onto your white t-shirt. But maybe it was a blessing in disguise, a chance to drive Daryl crazy. You grabbed a random t-shirt from one of the drawers and set it down before taking off the one you had, tossing it aside. You put the new one on as if you didn't just give him a strip show. His face was beet red and he hurried to adjust the blankets on his lap. 
"Daryl, you okay? You look a little hot?" 
"S'just w-warm in here." 
"Let me jus' check your temperature." Instead of pressing the back of your hand to his forehead like before, you placed a gentle kiss to it. 
"Feels a little warm." You stayed close to his face. If he moved, even a centimeter, his lips would touch yours, which is what you were hoping for. You glanced down at his lips, then up at his blue eyes, waiting for him to lean in. Despite all this teasing, you kinda wished he'd make a move, too. When he didn't, you pulled away, kissing him on the cheek instead. 
"Get well soon, okay?" you said before taking the tray and leaving. 
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Daryl had been mentally punching himself since that night. He was an idiot for not kissing you when he had the chance. You were right there and so obviously waiting for him to do something, anything. But he couldn't. It'd been so long since he'd done anything with a woman, and even then, he didn't think he was any good. He was almost embarrassed about how inexperienced he was at his age. And someone as beautiful as you obviously would have some experience, so why waste time on him. He didn't want to be the cloud that dulled your shine. 
 He was now well enough to be released from Hershel’s care, but not well enough to resume about his usual ways. He’d normally disobey orders to take it easy, but when you made him promise to rest, he couldn’t break it. Subconsciously, he glanced over to your window. It wasn’t something he did often, considering you were usually the one watching him, but you were weighing heavily on his mind. He saw you up in your room, assuming you’d just woken up since it was almost noon. You were at your window, rummaging through your dresser -he knew where it was when he caught a glimpse of your room when he was inside the house. You held up a few shirts, probably deciding on which to wear, before pulling your pajama shirt off over your head. This was now the second, no, third time he’s gotten a perfect view of your tits. God they would feel so good in his hands, better yet, they’d look so good  bouncing in unison with his thrusts as he fucked you into your mattress. Your teasing and mischievous ways only fueled his fantasies, causing his pants to tighten uncomfortably. The little wave you gave him from your window pulled him out of his own head. You, still topless, blew him a kiss before stepping out of frame. 
 His heart rate increased expeditiously as he nearly came in his pants. He couldn’t handle your teasing anymore, it was driving him crazy. He wanted you, not just the fantasies in his head and the company of his hand. He wanted to feel your walls squeeze his cock, hear your little moans as he pleasured you until your mind went numb, become one with you as you came in unison. He hurried into his tent and zipped it all the way up before collapsing onto his sleeping bag and hurrying to undo his pants. He liberated his aching cock from its confines and spat on his hand. He rubbed himself up and down, from base to tip, imagining it was your pretty mouth swallowing him whole. He ignored the sound of distant footsteps approaching his tent and instead chased his climax, which was coming embarrassingly fast. 
“Daryl?” Your distant voice called, but all he heard in his mind was you moaning his name as your nails scratched down his back. 
“You in here?” You asked. Daryl came in his hand, taking extra care to stifle the moan that threatened to spill from his mouth. Reality set in when he saw your shadow standing outside his tent. He quickly wiped his hand off on the closest piece of fabric and shoved himself back in his pants. 
“Need somethin’? He asked. He willed you not to notice his flushed, sweaty face. 
“Watcha doin’ in there?” You asked, trying to peek into his tent. He moved to block your vision. He didn’t need you finding any trace of his earlier activity. Although, the little dress you had on had him ready to continue said activities.
“Nothin’.” 
“Anyway, I came to check on you, make sure you’re takin’ it easy.” 
“I am, was jus’ takin’ a nap,” he lied. 
“Then why are you so red? And sweaty? Are you comin’ down with somethin’?!” You were starting to sound worried, making Daryl feel guilty. You reached up to feel his forehead and check for a fever, but he stepped back, avoiding your touch. If he felt your skin on his, in any capacity, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold back anymore. 
“Daryl, don’t be so stubborn!” You stepped closer only for him to step back again. 
“Ain’ got no fever, girl! S’just hot out here!” He insisted. 
“Don’ know that for sure. If it is one, it could mean one of your wounds is infected.” 
“S’not a fever, ‘m sweaty from workin’ out.” You looked at him with an eyebrow skeptically raised and a hand on your hip. So much for takin’ a nap, you thought. Your eyes traveled down his body before meeting his again, this time with look more mischievous than usual in your eyes. 
“Your fly’s down.” He quickly zipped it up, cursing himself for the dumb mistake. 
“Anythin’ to do with your ‘work out’?” 
“Dunno what yer gettin’ at.” His heart was beating faster in his chest, this time because of anxiety. You were onto him and he was about to get caught, humiliated under your scrutinizing gaze.
“Flushed, sweaty face.” You took a step closer and he took one back. “Dilated pupils.” Another step forward and another one back. “Unzipped fly.” He stepped back, not looking where he was going and stumbled onto the grassy ground. You sat down next to him. “Took forever to open your tent.” Your face split into a grin like the Cheshire Cat.   “I’d say you were in there masturbatin’.” He stumbled over his words, looking for what to say in denial of your observation accusation. You pressed your pointer finger to his lips. 
“Shh, it’s okay.” You leaned over him and slid your hand down his chest. “I touch myself, too.” His sparkling blue eyes went wide. “Usually thinkin’ ‘bout you when I do it.” You could feel his breathing change as you slid your hand further down his toned stomach. “Were you thinkin’ ‘bout me?” His face was beet read and breathing shallow. You had him and he was more than ready, willing, and able to give in. He nodded his head, confirming your suspicions. 
“Well, next time I’m on your mind,” you leaned down, lips ghosting his parted ones, “don’t just settle for your hand.” His lips finally met yours in a heated kiss. The built up tension from his days of pining and yours of teasing finally being released in that kiss. You tangled your fingers in his hair, deepening the kiss, slipping your tongue inside and drinking in all his pleasured groans. 
“Wanna go back to my room?” You asked after pulling away. 
“Nah, too far. Let’s go inside my tent.” You happily agreed and hurried inside, zipping it up behind Daryl. His mouth was back on yours in an instant, passionately exploring it with his tongue. He kissed his way down to your neck, roughly sucking marks. 
“Oh, Daryl!” You shouted when he reached a certain spot on your neck, just beneath your ear. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him impossibly close. Nervously, Daryl’s hand experimented with touching your body, his hands firmly gripping your hips. They were comfortable there and not daring enough to try anything else. He wanted to impress you, but at the same time he didn’t want you to notice that he had no clue what he was doing or what to do next, using the pirated porn and one night stands of his past as reference. Your hands grabbed his and placed them on your tits. 
“Touch me, Daryl!” You whined. His hands groped and kneaded at the soft mounds of flesh hidden behind the thin fabric of your dress. He pulled down the front of your dress, freeing your tits then recapturing one by putting it in his mouth. His large hand toyed with the right while his mouth suckled the other. Your little wanton whimpers egged him on, giving him the confidence to try more. Your squirmed beneath him, squeezing your thighs together. His cock was also painfully hard, once again, and yearning to feel your warm walls around him. He pulled away and undid his pants before pulling out his cock, stroking it a few times. He looked up at you, but you looked less excited. Your eyes wouldn’t meet his and your arms were crossed over your chest, hiding yourself from him. 
“Wha’s the matter, Sunshine?” He asked, the nickname rolling of his tongue naturally. He was more than excited to sleep with you, but his worry regarding your sudden change outweighed that. 
“N-nothin’. Jus’ put it in,” you said hoarsely. 
“Nah, we ain’ doin’ nothin’ unless ya tell me wha’s wrong.” It sounded harsh, but it came from a place of genuine concern. 
You sat up, readjusting your dress as you did so. “I-it’s jus’,” you nervously fiddled with the hem of your dress, something Daryl noticed you did a lot around him. “C-can we go slow? I haven’t done any of this stuff before,” you admitted. 
“You a virgin?” He asked, astonished. You glumly nodded your head as if you were accepting defeat. In a twisted way, that relieved him a bit. Maybe since you’ve never had sex, you wouldn’t notice his own lack of experience.  He put himself in his boxers before patting the spot in front of him. You crawled over to him and sat between his legs, your back against his chest. His lips found that spot on your neck again and began sucking there as his hand slid underneath your panties. He rubbed your clit in tight circles, causing your thighs to clamp shut over his hand. 
“Jus’ relax,” he coaxed. You relaxed the best you could, but the pleasure kept you from staying still. 
“F-faster,” you whimpered. He obeyed your command, rubbing you at a quicker pace. Your head fell back against his shoulder and you moaned in his ear. His other hand slipped beneath your panties and gathered your arousal on his finger, before he slowly slid it inside you, giving you time to adjust. He pumped it in and out of you as he continued to rub your clit. Your back arched off him as you moaned his name. He easily slipped in a second finger with how wet you were. Your velvety walls were so soft around his thick digits. He couldn’t wait to feel them with his cock. He moved his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion, hitting you in a spot that had you babbling nonsense. You squeezed his fingers with your soaking cunt as your first orgasm overtook your body. 
“Daryl, I’m ready. Need ta feel ya inside me,” you slurred. He helped you lay down on your back and slid your panties off before pulling his painfully hard cock out again. Your legs rested over his thighs as he coated his member in your juices before lining it up with your entrance. He slid in as slowly as he could, making sure this would be as painless as it could be for you. You were so soft, slippery, and smooth around him, the best pussy he’s ever had. Once he was all the way in, he stopped to give you time to adjust. He leaned down and connected your lips in another kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled held him close. 
“You can move now.” His hands gripped your hips as he started slowly thrusting in and out of you, not wanting to give you too much too soon. His pleasured grunts mingled with your moans as he slid in and out of you. 
“More, need more!” You whined. He adjusted your position, placing your legs over his broad shoulders. The new position allowed him to fill you even better. As he pounded in and out of you, the erotic sounds of damp skin slapping damp skin filled the tent, harmonizing with his and your sounds of pleasure. He lifted your dress over your head, getting rid of the barrier between you and him, and tossed it aside. His own fantasies came true as he watched your tits bounce in unison with his thrusts. He took them in his hands again, rolling your nipples between his finger and thumb, bringing you closer to your climax. 
“Daryl I think I’ma-” Your sentence trailed off into a moan as you came around his cock. He fucked you through your orgasm as his own approached. He pulled out of you just as he was about to finish and came all over your tits and stomach, like a firehose. You let out a satisfied hum, barely able to keep your eyes open. He grabbed one of his discarded shirts and cleaned you off before laying beside you in the sleeping bag. You rolled over to face him and hugged him close in your arms. 
“You were the best first I coulda asked for,” you confessed. Your words soothed his worries that he didn’t perform well enough while also making his heart flutter.
“Guess all yer teasin’ paid off.” You giggled against his chest. 
 He pulled you closer to him and pulled you in for another kiss, a sweeter, gentler one this time. You dozed off in his comforting arms, wishing you’d never have to leave. 
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i proofread it, yaaay! anyway, thanks for reading! <3
i wrote this instead of doing my homework, mwahahahah >=]
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@fuckedbydaryl @banquetwriter @eternalrose81
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luvring · 18 days
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A LITTLE WHILE LONGER
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gn!reader | atsumu parent au, 700 words of silly fluff(?) Unless u think about growing up too much.
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“’tsumu? what’s wrong? why’re you crying?” you put your keys in your pocket, eyes focused on atsumu who’s leaning his head back on the couch, blinking away tears and wiping his cheeks.
he huffs, turning away as if you wouldn’t be able to hear him sniffling. “’m not cryin’!”
“makoto,” you call your daughter who’s sitting with her back to you. “what happened—oh my god, why’re you both crying?”
she looks over her shoulder, and you catch her phone and crumpled tissues in her hands. they look at you with the same pout and loud denial—“we’re not crying!”
the echo is an unconventional comfort—‘we’ enough to tell you that nobody’s said or done any real damage. makoto brings her legs up to sit cross-legged in her chair, grabbing the pillow from behind her to her lap, and you look at your husband. “atsumu.”
his still red eyes snap toward you and his jaw drops, voice filled with hoarse betrayal, “what?! why’re ya lookin’ at me? ‘t’s her fault!”
your daughter gasps and throws her pillow at his chest. “dad!”
atsumu catches it with ease. “makoto!”
“guys.”
stopped before one of them can pick up another pillow, the pair sit back in their seats, this time atsumu holding the pillow up to his chin. makoto sniffles as she unlocks her phone. “here.”
when you walk over and she passes it to you, it’s set to the front camera with some sort of filter waiting to start. you furrow your brows and look to her for explanation.
“it’s an ageing filter—dad started crying when he saw what i’d look like when i get old.”
she sniffles once more, and something in your chest softens. you look toward atsumu who, as if he could feel your gaze, looks away from the corner of the room back to you. his cheeks match his eyes, and he tries to stop what he knows is going to happen, “don’t you—”
“awww.”
“babe,” the whine is immediate as he slouches into the couch.
you only snicker as you hand makoto her phone back, and make your way to him with a smile and arms wide open. despite everything, he straightens, leans toward you and your touch. his head rests against your stomach as you run your fingers through his hair. (you think makoto says “ew” behind you.)
“’tsumu, you big softie,” you tease.
he scoffs weakly as he wraps his arms around your waist. “she’s crying too!”
“am not.”
atsumu peaks his head from around you. “are too, y’liar.”
“i’ve never cried in my life,” makoto denies, a rasp in her words.
the blond in your arms scoffs again. “tell that t’me when you were 7 and crying ’cause y’stepped on a ladybug by accident.”
makoto gasps. “her name was milly, you monster.”
you snort, turning to look at your daughter. “sorry to milly, now stop fighting. family hug time, c’mere.”
and even as they stick their tongues out at each other, they both stand so you can wrap your arms around them, and atsumu quietly plants a kiss to both of your heads. you mumble with a smile, “love you guys.”
“love you too.”
“love you. and you are never growing up.”
“biologically impossible.”
“don’t care, you’re eight now.”
“what—eight?!”
the hug breaks, and you sigh dramatically, atsumu pulling makoto into a headlock you know she could get out of in seconds, even while she laughs.
“eight.”
“why can’t i stay seventeen?”
“numbers don’t go that high for ya anymore.”
“then what’re you?”
“a young and handsome twenty-four year old.”
“ya wish, old man!”
walking away, you call out, “i’m gonna get dinner started, don’t break anything!”
makoto’s “thank you!” is followed by atsumu’s “we won’t!”, and the bittersweet ache in your bones at the thought of your family getting older is soothed by the sound of laughter from the living room, a reminder it'll be you all together, for at least a while longer.
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girl dad atsumu who loves and spoils his daughter to bits is so real but also It's Atsumu.. The Miyas... i thought it'd be nice 2 see her picking up more of his personality + them being silly 🙂‍↕️ (these kinds of relationships r so endearing 2 me 😭🩷) everypony knows they love each other soo much even while they're 'fighting' and accusing the other of cheating at mario kart or whatever LOL.
was gonna make tsumu point out makoto crying at the thought of Him getting old btw but then i would've taken longer to Pack This Up and also had to deal with ME thinking about MY parents so here we are 🫡
@pelicanpizza @godoffuckedupcats @causenessus @priv_rose @ur-local-simp @respitable haii my tag list i forgot i had u for a while there. and u guys too @reverie-starlight @dira333 haii friends i hope u are all doing awesome! 🫵🩷
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dingus11111 · 4 months
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So… I binged Castlevania: Nocturne the day it came out.. Now I can’t get over Edouard. I literally love him so much, so without further ado…
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NIGHT CREATURE!EDOUARD X NIGHT CREATURE!MALE READER
Warnings: NSFW, AMAB anatomy, horny reader, horny Edouard, soft sex, gentle sex, sub!bottom reader, dom!top Edouard, OOC (sorry), feminine reader, size kink, rimming, and teratophillia.
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You had died to one of the vampires living in the chateau and were, of course, thrown into the pile of dead bodies to be turned into a night creature.
☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪
The doors of the machine from hell slowly opened with a loud hiss. Steam enveloped your body as you stepped out from the machine forsaken by (the) god(s).
The steam gradually let up, your silhouette became more and more visible. You had an overall human looking body, with the exception of 2 pairs of arms, 4 eyes, 6 horns all differing in sizes, and rosy pink colored skin that was more on the deep red side than pink yet it was still pink. Your eyes glimmered a bright red, and a pair of white wings sat upon your back. You had long, maroon hair that cascaded down your back. It was silky and straight. Your mouth was filled with sharp, white teeth. Your torso was completely exposed; the only clothes you had on was a white loin cloth that did it’s job.
As you stepped out, you stayed silent. You were confused and unaware of what and where you were. Suddenly words rang in your ears, and you knew that you must obey.
“Guard the cell of the night creature who’s eyes shine like sapphires,” the Abbot commanded.
You growled as a way to signal that you understood.
“Good. Now go,” the Abbot ordered.
☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪☆♪
As you approached the cell you were meant to guard, angelic singing pierced your ears.
As a high note was sung, your eyes widened.
“Why am I guarding this cell?” You thought to yourself.
You sat down next to the cell and looked at the night creature who was in it. Your jaw dropped. He was the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. His wavy, long hair that was almost as long as yours gently fell down his back and shoulders. Massive wings that resembled a bat emerged from his back. Horns protruded from his face and head. A gold streak on his lips, and gold, sharp, fingernails adorned the two hands that covered his face as if he was hiding himself. His eyes pierced through you. The blue encompassing your vision. You could only focus on those beautiful eyes. Those sweet eyes. Those eyes that glowed.
Edouard had stopped singing a while back, he was now looking at you. You didn’t notice, you were too busy staring at him.
“Hello?” He spoke.
You blushed in embarrassment.
“Ah- sorry.” You managed to choke out.
Embarrassing yourself in front of such a beautiful man/night creature was not on your bucket list.
You sit down, keeping watch and “guarding” his cell but in reality you were just watching him and only looking away when he glanced at you.
You began to get more self conscious, and shy. Your loin cloth suddenly felt like it didn’t cover enough. You wish your long hair was longer to completely enshroud your body so that he wouldn’t see it.
Edouard noticed this and chuckled. You didn’t seem to be like the other night creatures. You still had some humanity left in you. He found it cute that you were so shy. So adorable. So breedable. Wait, what? Did he just think that? Edouard blushed as his own thought, embarrassed by it just as much as you were embarrassed by your little amount of clothing.
“You seem cold, baby.” He played it cool.
“Would you like to join me in my cell?” He smiled sweetly.
Your eyes widened at the offer. How could you decline? You looked around you with haste, scanning for any other night creatures. You then quickly made your way into his cell.
As soon as you entered it, he rushed towards you and held you close. You flinched, surprised by the unexpected display of affection.
"Please forgive me... I can't control myself.." Edouard whispered lustfully in your ear.
Your breath hitched when you felt something hard against your thigh. You looked down. Pure surprise was the only thing you felt.
A large dick about 9 inches long and 2 inches in diameter was up against your thigh. It only made sense the Edouard was so big due to the fact that he was around 7-8 feet tall.
As you looked down at his hard sexual organ, you began to blush. Yearning and want settled in your brain, taking over your senses. Corrupting them.
You shyly gazed back up at Edouard, a heavy blush covering your face. Your eyes glimmered red as you spoke.
“I don’t even know your name, and yet… I long for you.” You uttered, not knowing where the sudden boldness came from.
He pushed you to the stone wall of the cell, still hugging you.
“It’s Edouard.” He seductively whispered in your ear.
Edouard quickly picked you up, so you were the same height as him. You wrapped your legs around his waist for stability. One pair of arms wrapped around his neck, and the other pair was flush against the wall.
He moved his face from the crook of your neck to in front of your face, just inches away.
As he closed the distance between your lips and his, he muttered something.
“So pretty like this.”
You two began to make out intensely. His tongue pushed against yours, creating swirls and spins together. His hands crept up to your chest, his thumb brushing against one of your nipples. His other hand rested on your hip.
As he broke the kiss, you panted heavily. Even in your human life, you had never kissed someone like that before. Your cock was hard, and leaked against the confines of the loincloth.
Edouard took notice of this and chuckled.
“I have a feeling you’re enjoying this.”
You nodded. Your face was painted with a heavy blush. All you wanted was him.
He leaned back in and kissed your neck. His soft kisses trailed down to your chest. One hand played with one nipple, while he sucked on the other. His tongue swirled around the now hardened bud causing your back to arch in pleasure. A bead of precum leaked from your still clothed dick.
“Ahn!~” You moaned.
You had never felt anything like this. The back of your head gently hit the stone wall. Whimpers and gasps spilled from your mouth like hot lava from a volcano.
He retreated his head away from your chest and back up so that he was at eye level to you. He was panting just slightly.
“I’ve never wanted someone this badly.” His hot breath puffed onto your face.
Edouard then put you down so that you were standing.
“Can you turn around and lean against the wall for me, baby?”
You turned around, excited as to what would happen.
When you leaned against the wall, Edouard grasped your hips and pulled them out. He proceeded to undo your loincloth. Your hard cock sprang out, precum dribbling down the shaft.
Edouard kneeled down, still behind you and spread your ass cheeks. Your hole fluttered for him.
“My nails are too sharp to finger you, love. I hope you can enjoy what I’m about to do as a replacement.” He spoke.
Your face turned bright red in embarrassment. The expression of shame was wiped off your face and replaced with one of pleasure.
“Fuck!” You gasped.
His tongue swirled against your hole and occasionally pushed in. He was eating you out like you were a 5 star meal. A soft groan escaped his throat as he thrusted his tongue in and out of your hole.
Loud moans flew out of you and filled the cell, even roaming down the halls to the other night creatures.
Edouard stopped rimming you, and quickly smacked him palm over your mouth.
“Please be quiet, dear. You wouldn’t want to get caught, would you?”
He breathed onto your neck before sinking his fangs into you and biting down, drawing blood.
“Mmphh!~” You screamed against his palm.
Your dick twitched from the intimate pain. Another bead of precum appeared on the tip.
He soothed over the bite with his tongue, lapping up the blood. His arms snaked around your waist, holding you close to him as he continued to lick the bite.
Once he was done, you were trembling mess. You wanted him so badly. Wanted him inside of you.
“Would you like to continue?” Edouard asked, wanting to make sure you still wanted this.
You nodded vigorously, wanting him more than anything.
He turned you around and picked you up so that your pretty chest was flush against his own defined pecs. You wrapped both sets of arms around him and your legs followed suit. He held you with one arm as he guided his large cock to your hole. He slowly sunk you onto it; the delicious burn singed through you. A hiss of pleasure and pain erupted from your plump lips.
“Shhh… It’s okay, baby.. it’ll feel good really soon.” Edouard cooed.
Eventually, he bottomed out. Edouard held you there, feeling your tightness get used to his girth.
Soon enough, you signaled for him to move and he obeyed. He slowly bounced you up and down on his shaft. You let out a soft moan of ecstasy.
As If overcome by something, you gained enough confidence to pull his face into a sloppy and passionate make out session as he continued to fuck you. Your tongues danced while your bodies moved in sync for each other.
He adjusted the angle just a bit, and hit your prostate dead on. Your eyes went wide and mouth fell slack. No noise came out of you. You trembled. He continued to pound into that spot. Your eyes rolled back as you tried to stifle your moans.
“G- gonna cum!” You whisper yelled.
Edouard grunted before responding.
“Me too, my love..”
He sped up, wanting you to feel even better. You cried out in bliss as you came all over his and your abdomen. He still pounded into you after you came, chasing his own release. He placed one hand against the back of your head and brought you towards him for another lustful, heavy kiss. As you kissed, there was a hint of sweetness. Suddenly, a low growl emitted from his throat as he came. He stopped moving you and came inside of you, filling you to the brim. Cum leaked from your hole, even though he was still inside. He slowly pulled out; his cum dripped from your gaping hole, down your thighs and legs.
He still held you close as he sat down with you. He pulled you even closer to him.
“You’re so beautiful.” Edouard smiled happily at you.
He stroked your head lovingly as you fell asleep next to him.
(I didn’t know night creatures could sleep, but they do now.)
“Goodnight, baby.”
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SO! That was my first smut fic posted on this account! YIPPEE! It was kinda short, so sorry about that- 😭😭😭
If you have any requests, feel free to ask, I’ll try my best to write them!
ALRIGHT- love you guys! Bye! 🫶🫶🫶
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Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) - Part VII
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*inhales aggressively* VESSEL CHAPTER!!!!!! FINALLY!!!! Reader has a talk with the boys about what exactly happened with the night's kissing incident, after so much time of him being a bit distant towards reader Vessel decides to let his softer side show, plus more moments with III because I'm in love with him and I can't help myself sorry not sorry hehe I can't wait to know what you all think of this chapter thank you all so much for all the wonderful comments. If you would like to be added to the tag list please let me know!!
WARNINGS: discussion of boundaries, proposals of a polyamorous relationship (I tried my best to make it realistic but I, myself, am not polyamorous), fluffy stuff per usual. NOT PROOFREAD
My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link!
Part VI - Part VIII
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The sight before you almost made you want to laugh. The four grown men that sat in various seats around your living room almost resembled a group of school kids waiting anxiously outside the principal's office. “I’m sorry.” III was the first of them to speak up.
“No, if anything I should be the one apologizing.” II quickly follows, both of them unable to even look in your direction.
“I’m not upset at either of you, I’m just… confused.” You respond softly.
“It started off as simple crushes; me, IV, III, Ves.” You noticed Vessel’s shoulder tense as he was dragged into this conversation as well. “We all think you’re beautiful-”
“And very sweet.” III adds on. You can’t help the subtle smile that finds its way to your lips at their compliments.
“We could tell things had gotten a little more serious between you and III so we all decided to back off. But, I can’t lie to you,” II chuckled, “I’m a very jealous man. So when someone tries to keep me from what I want I don’t typically respond the best.”
“And I don’t feel right asking you to commit solely to me when you clearly have feelings for II, as well.” III adds his piece. You found it odd, there was no anger in his voice at the thought of you with his friend. “I guess what we’re trying to say is, um…” he trails off, looking to II as he searches for the right words to say.
“How would you feel about dating all of us?” Vessel breaks the thick tension with his blunt question. You felt like all of the air had been punched from your lungs, your heart jumping into your throat as your head snapped in his direction.
“Vessel, you can’t phrase it like that!” IV groans from his spot on your couch, dropping his head into his hand.
“What? She's a big girl, you don't need to beat around the bush.”
“Dating… dating all of you?” You finally mutter after a few moments of shocked silence.
“Obviously only if you're comfortable with that.” III stands from his seat, slowly stepping closer to you. “You don't have to say yes to any of this. It doesn't matter if you want to date only me, or if you would be okay dating all of us. Hell, after dropping this on you, there's a chance you might not want to see any of us ever again.” You didn't miss the nervousness that laced its way into his laughter. III was genuinely scared that this was going to fully push you away. “But, it's about what you want, that's the important part.”
“And you're all okay with this?” You would be lying if you tried to say you didn't find the offer very appealing. Every member of the group that sat before you drew you to them in one way or another, they were definitely an attractive bunch to put it lightly; III with his subtle intensity, who was always making you laugh, II who would turn you into a flustered mess with his sweet words, IV who’s easily excitable nature and blind confidence when it came to complimenting you made your heart thrum in your chest, Vessel who lets his hand linger on your waist as he maneuvers around you doing restock days, who holds your gaze for perhaps a little longer than necessary when wishing you goodbye at night. But, could you really handle four relationships? 
“The way we see it, we’d rather share you with others who we know are going to take good care of you than to be forced to hold our tongues about how we feel about you.” II explains.
“I…” you trail off as you look between the four of them. “I need some time to think.” Your voice shook slightly as you spoke.
“Of course.” Vessel responds. Without another word II, III, and IV stood, quietly said their goodbyes to you and left your apartment. Vessel hung back for a moment, waiting for III to fully shut the door behind him before breathing out a sigh. “I'm sorry that all of this happened the way it did. I kept telling them to wait to bring it up.” His gaze drops to you, who was silently fidgeting with your fingers as you leaned against the wall.
“I can always tell them to back off, love.”
“No, you don't have to do that.” You brush him off. “It's nothing to do with any of you, you're all incredible. It's just- it's me, that's what the problem is.” You tried to force a laugh to prove to Vessel that you were fine, his unchanging expression let you know immediately that he saw right through you. “You're all so wonderful, and the fact that you would be willing to make such a huge compromise.” You stare through the slits of his mask, believing you were meeting his eyes. “What if it's not worth it?”
You didn't have time to register what was happening before Vessel was in front of you, pulling you into a warm embrace.
“I know I might not be as… prominent with my acts of affection as the others.” He pulls back slightly, one large hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as your eyes instinctively rise to look at him. “But, considering II put things out in the open, I need you to know that I care for you viscerally.” The soft growl that found its way into his voice made your cheeks grow warm. “I don't want you to feel pressured into anything you don't want, but I need you to understand that there has not been a single moment since I met you that would make me think any of this wasn't worth it.” You blink slowly as a hand comes to rest on the top of your head, comfortingly patting the spot. “Would it be alright if I came and checked in tomorrow?” You nod, reluctantly letting your hands fall away from their position pressed against his chest as he stepped back, his warmth fading away with it.
“Goodnight, Ves.” Your voice cracked slightly as you tried to keep your overwhelming emotions in check.
“Goodnight love, rest well.”
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You watched the second hand on the clock tick, bringing you closer to when Vessel would usually make his nightly supply runs. You hadn’t managed to sleep at all the night prior, tossing and turning as you played through every scenario you could think of as you made your decision. At the sight of the familiar pick up truck rumbling into the lot you felt your heart race. “This is it.” You muttered out loud to the empty store. “No going back now.” He poked his head through the door before fully entering.
“You still open?” He offers you a playful smile.
“No, but for you I'll make an exception.” You giggle in response. He slowly steps inside and approaches the counter.
“How’d thinking on things go?” He rests his elbows on the counter, bringing him closer to face level with you.
You set a hand down on the counter, Vessel cautiously reaching out to take it in his own. He hesitates for a moment, his hand drawing back slightly as if he was preparing to pull away. His fingers were rough against the soft skin of your hand when he finally decided to take his, his thumb running languidly across the peaks and valleys of your knuckles as he waited patiently for your response. “I want to take things slow… but the thought of having all of you to myself is a little too good to pass up.” He breathes out a chuckle, flashing you a sharp smirk that makes your breath catch in your throat.
“Is that so?” He mulls over how to respond to your statement for a moment. “How about I make us dinner and we can sit down and talk about how slow you want to take things, just so we can make sure everyone is on the same page.”
“You want to cook me dinner?” You shoot him a playful smile. “Is it going to be edible?” He bellows out a laugh in response.
“You're funny, you know I've been told I'm a wonderful cook.” He points an accusatory finger at you, standing up to collect what ingredients he needed from around the store. “Just you wait and see, this is going to be the best damn meal you've ever eaten.”
The whole thing was a bit strange in the best way. If he hasn't told you so directly you would've sworn that Vessel thought of you as little more than an acquaintance. But now, you were sitting on your kitchen counter, a glass of white wine swirling around in your hand, rolling your eyes playfully at all of Vessel’s terrible jokes as he made the two of you dinner. He asks you where you keep your plates, you easily reach into the cabinet behind you and produce a pair, holding them out to him with a soft smile. He carefully plates the pasta he made, penne with bacon and spinach and some type of cream sauce he had pulled together with odds and ends from your pantry. “It smells incredible.” He saunters in front of you, trapping you on the counter by placing a hand on either side of your waist.
“And here you were questioning my culinary skills.” He feigns a hurt tone before a soft chuckle rumbles from his chest. “Come on beautiful, let's go eat.” He pulls away from you, your body trailing after his warmth. You pad your way into the living room, Vessel close behind as he carries your plate for you. You sat close together on the couch, angling yourself to better face him. “So, define slow.” He jumps in immediately.
“Let me at least get a couple bites in.” Vessel can't help but smile at your teasing tone. “I just… I don’t know. This is all so different I don't think I can really tell you what going slow even means.”
“Well, I can assure you that all of us care a lot about how you feel during all of this.”
“And I know that.”
“I think you're worried about more than just taking things slow, love. What's on your mind?” The softness to his tone immediately lulled your anxious mind into a sense of safety.
“I'm worried about things developing quicker in certain relationships than others, I just don't want that to cause any of you to fight.” You absentmindedly twisted your fork around in your fingers, studying it as you tried to put into words what was racing through your mind.
“That might happen, but if it does it's alright. Unfortunately that's just something we have to deal with.” He chuckles. “There's no doubt in my mind that you would be more comfortable moving a bit quicker with III than you would with me, he started flirting with you from the start. We all know that you're in various stages of getting to know us, we're more than willing to give you time to figure all of that out.” Hearing him being so reassuring made the heaviness weighing in your chest lighten considerably. “Is there anything else I can do to ease that pretty little head of yours?” You slowly shake your head no before pausing. You looked at the man before you, swallowing thickly as you mulled over an idea. Vessel was an enigma to you even after months of knowing him. He was aloof, quiet, but the few rare instances he let part of his personality break through you could tell just how wonderful he could really be.
“Dance with me?” The question hung in the air for a moment before Vessel wordlessly rose to his feet.
“I will warn you, I'm not much of a dancer.” He chuckles, outstretching his hand for you to take. His palm was warm against your fingertips; the smudged edges of his paint were a stark contrast to the pale skin underneath.
“What a shame, neither am I.” You giggle in response before he pulls you to your feet. He looks around the room, making a small sound of affirmation to himself before pushing your coffee table out of the way to open up the space. You walked over to a bookshelf in the corner of the room, clicking on your radio and letting the soft tune crackle to life. Vessel stood in the center of the room, hands shoved into his pockets as he waited for your return, a soft smile settling onto his lips.
“You look really beautiful today.” He says softly, one strong arm reaching out for you and wrapping around your waist when you were within reach. Your fingers intertwine with his, Vessel watching carefully as each delicate digit slotted between his own. Your cheeks grow warm as you timidly accept the compliment. You had never been this close to Vessel before, feeling the way his muscles tensed and shifted under the hand that rested on his shoulder sent a shiver down your spine. You were unable to tear your eyes away from him, the intricate detailing along the edge of his mask highlighting how wide and bright his smile was as he gazed down at your flustered form. The music you had turned on was non existent at this point, the only thing mattering at this point in time was Vessel finally allowing you the briefest glimpse inside his walls. You managed to trip over your own feet, yelping slightly as you stumbled into him. “Easy now, I got you.” He chuckles, helping to steady you on your feet. “If you're going to faint at least wait until I kiss you for the first time.” He jokes
“Already thinking about kissing me, huh?” You smile coyly
“It'd be hard not to with a pretty face like that.” You let out a flustered laugh, your eyes dropping to the floor. You jumped when there was a sudden knock on the door. You reluctantly pull out of Vessel’s grasp, his fingers trailing across your waist as he tries to remain connected to you until the last possible moment. You slowly open the door, not knowing who to expect on the other side so late. You froze when your eyes landed on III, who was nervously swaying his heels on the creaky wooden landing outside. The moment he realized you had answered he immediately began to ramble.
“I'm sorry, I know you said you needed time to think and I absolutely respect that. I just, I know we kissed, and if you decide you don't want to go through with this I don't want it to make things weird-”
“III.” His mouth snaps shut as you softly say his name. You look back into your living room, Vessel’s head rested in his hand, he seemed mildly annoyed to be interrupted. Not knowing how to respond, you simply pushed the door wide open, III’s attention immediately drawn to Vessel. “We were actually just talking about that.” His eyes widen slightly, his gaze switching between you and his friend.
“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt-”
“I was just leaving, actually.” Your brows furrowed in confusion. You turn to face him as he walks up to you. He cradles your face in his hand, “tonight was wonderful, I hope we get to do this again soon.” He swipes his thumb across your cheek, leaving a thin black streak in its wake. “Goodnight, love.”
“Goodnight, Ves.” You respond breathlessly. You turn to face III, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth before reaching out and taking his hand, tugging him inside your apartment. His eyes stay locked on you as he follows you through the door, shutting it quietly behind him. “I really enjoyed, um… kissing you last night was really nice.” You let out a flustered laugh. “I don’t want you to worry that you made things weird.”
He chuckles, “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He stuffs his hand in his pockets, shifting his weight awkwardly. “I hope that talk you guys were having was a good one.”
“I think you’ll be very satisfied with the outcome.” You giggle. He gazes at you curiously, the usual playful sparkle back in his eyes when he realized he hadn’t scared you off.
“Is that so?” He saunters closer to you, his towering height and intense gaze threatening to make your knees buckle. “You let me know if any of this is moving too fast, okay?” He says sweetly, gently cupping your jaw.
“Okay.” You smile up at him. He trails his thumb over your bottom lip, his bright blue eyes darting around your features as he drank in the sight of you.
“You are simply gorgeous, love.” He whispers after a moment of silence.
“You flatter me too much.” Both hands slide around your waist, gently pulling you flush against him.
“I'm only telling my girl the truth.” He smiles. Your eyes flash up to meet his, the declaration of being his girl making your heart flutter in your chest. “Well, it seems like we have the night to ourselves. What would you like to do?” Wordlessly you take one of the hands that had settled against the curve of your hip, guiding him towards your couch. You threw on a movie, something mindless that you didn't need to pay attention to. Tonight was about spending time with III. No distractions, no hidden feelings, just you and someone who made you feel like a girl experiencing her first crush all over again. III takes you in his arms, laying back and pulling you on top of him in the process. One arm resting comfortably behind his head, the other slung over your waist as the two of you cuddled in a comfortable silence. “You know, I was really worried all of this would make you never speak to me again.” He speaks up after a while through a quiet chuckle.
“I was definitely a bit nervous about the idea, still kind of am if I'm being honest.” You laugh softly, absentmindedly tracing shapes against the soft material of his sweatshirt on his chest. “But, none of you have given me any reason not to trust you, so despite being nervous I feel like this is the right choice.”
“How you feel about this is very important to me, okay? If there's ever anything I can do for you love, just let me know.” He rubs his hand soothingly up and down your back, keeping you pressed close to him almost as if he was scared if he let you go you'd disappear. The two of you stayed up talking late into the night; you learned that III is more of a cat person than a dog person, his favorite color is red, and he would willingly disappear into the woods without a trace if it meant never folding laundry again. “It's such a dumb concept, I'm going to put the damn clothes on anyways. Why do they have to be folded and put away?” You hid your face against his shoulder, trying to hide the fact you had tears forming in your eyes from laughing so hard. You look up at him with a bright smile, the tangent dying in his throat as his eyes meet yours. He slowly sits himself up on his elbows, your body responding as it gradually slid into his lap. One of his hands pressed into the small of your back, keeping you held as close to him as possible, the other moving to cup your cheek.
“I haven't been able to stop thinking about kissing you since last night.” You admit in a tone barely above a whisper.
“Trust me, I wasn't doing much better.” He chuckles, his gaze briefly flashing down to your lips. “Everything about you… everything about you is just so perfect, and for the life of me I can't figure out why you give me the time of day.”
“Because you make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world.” Your voice shook as you spoke, you could hear your heartbeat thundering in your ears and you were nearly positive that III could hear it too.
“Because you are the only girl in the world for me.” He admits without a second thought. “I haven't been able to get last night out of my head. Of course I want to kiss you again, but this time I want to kiss you and mean it.” Trembling fingers rose to the edge of his mask, glancing up at him through your lashes asking for silent permission to raise his mask enough to kiss him. He nods, studying your nervous expression as you gently took the edge of the fabric and raised it to just below his nose. Your breath was snatched from your lungs as III crushed his lips against yours, your mind immediately swimming in the overwhelming sensation that was him. His lips subtly sweet as he eased your mouth open, his tongue carefully caressing yours, making sure to take things at a bear agonizing pace in order for you to be able to back away at any time. Your hands slid up his torso, III shivered under your delicate touch. You felt lightheaded as the kiss took over your senses; the euphoric feeling of his warm lips against yours, the deep, earthy smell of his cologne, his massive hand kneading at the softness of your hip. You both pulled away equally breathless, your hands coming up to his mask in order to readjust it into place before he had a chance to.
“I think you definitely meant it this time.” You giggle, your forehead falling to rest against his.
“There's going to be plenty more where that came from.” He winks playfully at you.
III decided to leave you for the night when you could barely keep your head up anymore. He scoops you up in his arms. You grumble in annoyance despite the fact you immediately begin to nuzzle your face against his chest. “Where are we going?” You ask through a yawn.
“I’m taking you to bed sweetheart, you need to rest.” He chuckles.
“-’m not tired.” You try to protest, your actions only make him laugh again before he presses a kiss to your forehead.
“Says the woman who can’t keep her eyes open.” You could hear his smile in his voice.
“I don’t want you to leave.” You admit softly.
“I know love, but you have a store to run, I’m afraid I’ve kept you up more than I already meant to.” He carefully maneuvers himself so he’s holding you in one arm, pulling back your blankets with his now free hand. He lays you gently into bed, his knuckles trailing across your cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” His head dips down, allowing you to share one more chaste kiss before he left you to fall into a dreamless sleep.
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crushedbyhyperbole · 2 months
Text
Cherry Pie Kiss
Slice Three
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: You're cornered and chased by Bartholomew's minions. Separated from Sam and Cas, you and Dean make a run for it. Lust finds you both when you're finally safe. Dean rocks your world.
Words: 3.4k
A/N: This is smutty part 3 of what's now looking like a longer series since I've settled on a cute, fluffy and smutty part 4. At this point I don't think I'll ever be sated in my need for this man but Im so not sorry about it 😂
I do hope you enjoy part 3. If you haven't read parts 1 and 2 check out the Cherry Pie Kiss Masterlist. As always, I value your comments and feedback. Drop a dime and let me know what you think.
Warnings: Smut. Canon-typical action/adventure. Running for your lives. Bit of angst.
*** 18+ Minors Do Not Read or Interact ***
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Dean Winchester.  You hate him.  His stubbornness and stoic grace.  His tenacity and faith that, no matter what, you guys will get it done if you stick together.  The way his eyes pierce you down to your soul when he stares.  At least that’s what you try to tell yourself, hoping that others will believe it too.  Truth is, you’re just as stubborn as he is, holding onto this façade when hatred is so far from what you feel.
Dean sits behind Baby’s wheel, having stormed away from the Gas’n’Sip in frustration.  His eyes follow your every move and your body language as you and Sam try to convince Cas, for the umpteenth time, to come with you.  Dean had taken it personally when Cas had refused, and after several attempts at reasoning, bargaining, and begging, Dean had given up, choosing to sit out any further attempts at persuasion.
You look over at the black Impala with its radiant chrome and glossy darkness.  The man inside looks away out to road not wanting the hurt, so plain on his face, to be seen.
“I’ll be back in a sec,” you say to Sam, touching his forearm gently as he continues to reason with the fallen Angel.
You feel compelled to at least try to comfort Dean.  Since you two had talked that night in the dingy room-only motel out in Crocker, you had maintained a stable yet strained connection.  You had still been pissed at him for using you and Sam as bait so you had sent him back to his room with another kiss and the promise of “when I’m ready”.  Since then, you two had never been alone for more than a few minutes; there was always Sam, or witnesses, or monsters.
Dean’s head snaps your way when you pull the door open, his face schooled into that smooth mask he wears when he’s hurt but unwilling to be vulnerable.  Cas’s decision has really hit him hard.
Sliding in the passenger side, you angle yourself towards him and reach to take one of his hands which is picking at the fingernails of his other.  Ordinarily, you wouldn’t risk such a gesture but with Sam a couple of hundred meters away and the height of the dash to obscure it, you’re not worried.
Dean allows the contact, his head hanging.  “Cas made his choice.”  His voice is low and gravelly with emotion.
“Doesn’t mean he can’t change his mind.”  You reason, trying not to throw fuel on the fire.
“He knows where I am if he does.”  He states, matter of fact.  “I’m not wasting another breath on him.”
“He’s your best friend.”
“You’re my best friend.”  Dean looks at you and squeezes your hand which is entwined with his, resting on his thigh.  “You and Sam.”
“I’m just some girl you want to fuck.”  You chuckle, and Deans lips quirk a subtle smirk briefly before he replies.
The words don’t come out, however.  Dean catches movement at the side of the Gas’N’Sip, and he drops your hand to turn over the engine, thrusting the heel of his other hand on Baby’s horn as he does so.
Sam and Cas look in your direction and then see the four figures walking quickly and with purpose, coming between them and the Impala.  Shit!  Angels.  Bartholomew’s minions, no doubt.  How have they found you again?
“Son of a bitch!”  Dean hisses, cranking the car into drive, kicking up stones in the gravel lot as the wheels spin, gaining traction to take you to Sam and Cas.
You fumble your seatbelt, sliding on the seat and right into Dean with a grunt as he swerves to avoid a blacked-out Escalade that grinds to a halt between you and your friends.
Sam and Cas are already on the move, running fast towards the gold Lincoln pimpmobile Cas had somehow acquired, Sam waving Dean off as they scramble into the car and peel out of the lot before the Angels could reach them.  You, however, are stuck.  With the Escalade and four fallen angels between you and the lot exit, Dean turns the wheel, locking it out and put his foot on the gas, spinning the car around with an horrific noise from the tyres.  At the back of the lot is a chainlink fence with a gate that leads to a dirt road which split in two, one branch heading to the highway, the other into scrubland that precedes a dense-looking woodland.  You can lose them in the trees.
Dean winces as he ploughs baby through the chainlink gate, lamenting the damage that is sure to be done, and turns the car towards the highway.
“We can lose them in the trees,” you cry, point to the woods.
“Baby doesn’t have the ground clearance for it,” Dean says roughly, manoeuvring the car through a side-on skid with the heel of his hand on the wheel and his other hand gripping the side of the seat to stop himself from sliding as the car spins.  Once straight, he slams his food on the gas and burns rubber onto the tarmac, heading in the opposite direction to Sam and Cas.
You know he’s right about the car.  The Escalade is 4x4 and sits high which gives it the advantage off road in the woods when the trail inevitably turns to a glorified hiking path.  You’re not even sure the highway is a much better option given that Baby is an older, classic car, but you know Dean keeps her in tip-top shape and she’s got a lot of power under her hood.  That being said, the Escalade could be seen in the rearview, weaving through traffic to catch up to you.
The shrill ring of your phone makes you jump as you try to focus on the road and on what’s behind.  You need to be a second set of eyes for Dean while he’s pushing Baby to create some distance from the Escalade.
“Hey, Sam!”  You sigh with relief, reading his name on your display, putting him on speaker.
“This is Castiel,” the former Angel’s flat tone carries from the phone.  “Sam is driving.  He said I’m too slow.”
You grin big.  That’s a classic Winchester brother thing to do.  From the corner of your eye you see Dean smirk.
“Just tell them we’re headed west and haven’t been followed.”  Sam sighed with mild frustration.
“Damn it’s good to hear your voice, Sammy!”  Dean spoke loudly in that extra deep tone he uses when he is running on adrenalin.  You know he left Cas out because he is still hurt, but you also know he’s glad Cas is safe too.
“We’re headed in the opposite direction,” you explain.  “The vehicle followed us and we’re trying to shake them but they’re keeping up.”
“Pretty soon we’ll run out of traffic, and on the open road we’ll never lose them.”  Dean frowns as he hunts in the rearview for your pursuers.
“Maybe you can head into the wilderness, hole up and set traps.”  Sam offers.  “We can turn around and try to catch up.”
“No!”  Dean snaps.  “You’re both safe.  I want you to stay that way.  Get someplace and lay low.  We’ll get this done and I’ll call you, ok?”
“Dean…”  Cas begins to speak but Dean is having none of it.
“I said No!  Okay?  For once, just do what I say.  We’ve got this.”
You hang up the phone without waiting for a response.  You can see how worked up Dean is, his brain running overtime as he tries to figure out a plan while he’s trying to evade Bartholomew’s lackies on a road full of other cars.
The satellite map on your phone shows a complex set of junctions several miles up ahead where this road meets and crosses with two interstates, branching off in multiple places to service a small city surrounded by a cluster of smaller towns.  It looks promising and Dean agrees.
The junction of the roads has raised on and off ramps that weave in and around the support structures of the main interstate, with frontage roads servicing the branches at intervals.  Traffic is heavy and Dean follows a newer model black Cady onto the interstate by one of the on-ramps, only to cut across the lanes harshly and slip onto a skewed off-ramp, hoping the Escalade will follow the newer Cady.  Slowing down at the end of the off-ramp, he turns to take the frontage road in the opposite direction, heading slowly up the on-ramp for the interstate carriage way going back in the direction from which you had come, so as not to rejoin too soon and be spotted on the other side.
You check all around as soon as you crest the on-ramp back onto the road, praying you don’t see the black government-style vehicle.  Dean doesn’t wait to find out, he puts his foot down and puts a few eighteen wheelers between you and whatever is behind you.
“I think we’re clear,” you say after about fifteen minutes of hypervigilance.
“Don’t jinx it, sweetheart.”  Dean keeps his eyes on the road, the wheel clasped in two white-knuckled fists.
Switching from the interstate to a smaller road and then to another road but still taking you away from where Sam and Cas had headed, Dean starts to relax.  He chances a look at you, to find you looking right back.  The tension in his neck and jaw haven’t melted away yet but he doesn’t have that hard look of focused fury that he usually does when in fight or flight mode.  He doesn’t say anything and neither do you, but the glances between you become more frequent as though you’re both checking on each other to make sure the other is okay, needing to visually check each time.
A sign by the side of the road identifies the beautiful landscape to your left as Black Water Natural Forest, and with the sun beginning to set behind the mountains in the distance, it seems a good place to wait out the sunset.  You point to the sign and Deans nods.  He doesn’t argue, knowing you need a place to park-up off road away from prying eyes to get your bearings and make a plan to meet up with your friends.
As the road gets narrower and the trees get more dense, Dean slows the car, casting furtive glances at you.  It’s making your skin burn, the way he looks at you now, with that hunger in his eyes.  You feel it too.  Weeks of tension built between you, and todays threat to your lives now culminating in a deep need for some kind of release.  You lick your lips, breathing shallow and quick as you try to regain your composure, but Dean isn’t doing much better.  You look at him fully and he all but moans when he sees the look in your eye.
A turn off presents itself that leads to a small muddy lot where hikers can park their cars when they venture out into the forest.  Dean brings Baby to a stop so hard your seatbelt catches you, then he yanks it into park and fumbles for the seal lever.  You unclip your belt as the front seat slides back fully and he reaches for you, helping you straddle his lap.
You waste no time, kissing him fervently as you unbutton your shirt while he tries to push it from your shoulders before it’s open.  Breaths are gasps released between kisses, tongues touching, tasting and tempting more passion, and you succumb to the frenzy of heat that’s born of your need to feel something other than fear.  Your need to feel him.
You’re both a mess of fumbling hands and sloppy kisses as clothes are shucked and skin exposed.  You try to stand, your legs either side of his as you unbutton your jeans and he unclasps his belt.
The loud sound of the Impala’s horn echoes out amongst the trees, startling birds so they take wing and both of you into stillness and silence.
Dean looks at you with panic but then grins and laughs, reaching to tug your jeans down your legs until they’re bunched up around your boots.
It’s awkward but you can still straddle him like this and, as you kneel back onto the black leather seat, he lifts his hips to grind himself impatiently against you.  The desperation in your eyes is matched by the eagerness in his.  He is rapt, eyes absorbing the sights and sounds of your body and of your pleasure as you grind yourself against him.  Your slicked pussy drenching his cock as you slide yourself along his length but deny him entry just when his tip catches at your entrance.
Dean fondles your breasts, trailing open-mouthed kisses across your skin until he reaches your hardening peaks.  His kisses become more suckling then, nibbling them and flicking them firmly with his tongue until you’re almost shaking above him.
“You ready for me?”  You ask, breathless.
“Sweetheart,” he treats you to his classic sultry smirk, “I’ve been ready for you since you moved in.”
You grin, knowing he’s been jonesing for you for that long.  Truth be told, you’d wanted him for longer but the hate you made yourself feel for him was an adequate distraction from it.
Biting your lip, you reach between you, taking his wet shaft in hand and positioning it at your entrance.  Your eyes meet as you begin to skink down on him, inching down in a shallow rocking motion with Dean stroking your hips and waist as you work at it.  He resists the urge to thrust up into you at first, allowing you to get accustomed to him.
When you bottom him out, he presses down on your hips firmly, lifting his just enough to give you a deep pleasurable pressure that has you groaning and your eyes rolling back.
You are tight despite being very wet, and the way you squeeze him has him twitching heavily against your walls.
“Fuck…”  he groans as you begin to move, leaning back slightly so he hits all the right spots inside you.
“I’m not going to last long,” you laugh breathily.
“No problem,” Dean says, his hands gripping your hips hard, helping you ride him a little faster now.  “We’ll get you for two.”
He doesn’t even have to reach down to stroke your clit, you come all by yourself, grinding on him with a sexy roll of your hips he knows should be good for you, your clit rubbing against his soft hair.  He can feel you spasming and clenching around him and it feels like heaven, even better than warm cherry pie hitting his taste buds.
“You feel freaking amazing.”  He growls, pulling you forward to suckle on the delicate skin of your neck.
“Right back at’cha,” you sigh against pleasure.
He rolls you to the side, and lays you on your back on the seat, still buried in you to the hilt.  Looking down at your heated face, your skin glowing from your orgasm, Dean thinks you are the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, with a possible exception of Baby.  Okay, you’re the most beautiful living thing he’s ever seen.
Looking up at Dean, his brow creased in concentration, his eyes dark with lust, you don’t think you have ever been turned on by anyone as much as this man.  Damn, he’s hot!  Riding the adrenaline of the chase, you had been desperate for an outlet.  Now that is out of your mind, you lose yourself in the man between your thighs, you’re focused solely on the feeling of him buried deep, and the rising tide of pleasure.  The windows steam up as you grind and roll your bodies together, and you think you might combust from the heat of him.
When he meets and holds your gaze, your heart almost stops.  There you see more than just lust, more than just the passion between you.  It’s deep and hidden, secret almost, and it surfaces as affection that softens his eyes.  You reach up to stroke his face as his grinding hips keep their measured pace and he leans into your touch, kissing the palm of your hand, closing his eyes with a tender sigh.
His vulnerability in that moment lances electricity to your core and you spasm powerfully around him.  His eyes flash open and he sees you’re close again but he doesn’t grin cockily like he might have done earlier, instead he leans down to kiss you, leaning his forehead on yours as you grip the back of his neck and look into his gorgeous eyes.  With your other hand on his hip, sliding round to his ass you guide the speed and depth of his thrusts and you roll your hips to meet his.
As you guide him to slow down he thinks he’ll lose the pleasure he’s cultivated so far but he can now feel more of you and it’s more intense because it’s slow and prolonged.  He almost laughs at how it changes everything and he gasps with surprise when he starts to feel his orgasm coming.  He knows he needs to pull out but you hold him on place with your hands and your heels.
“Give me everything,” you moan as you feel him swell.  “I need to feel you, nice and deep.”
Dean groans with pleasure watching your eyes sparkle with heat for him.
“I want it,” you almost beg.  “Want you.”
He nods, biting his lip as bends to your desire.
Spurred on by your permission, Dean thrusts deeper until he bottoms out, moaning your name as he comes deep inside you.  Your walls contract as he fills you, your climax a deep rolling pleasure that courses your whole body.  Everything feels so right, he feels right.  The way you two fit, the way he makes you feel.  It’s like a low-key destiny you’re more than willing to succumb to.
Dean doesn’t just pull out and get off you once you’re both done, he flips you so your lay on his chest.  There he holds you and strokes you back and hips, your hair and your face until you lift your head to look at him.  Then he smirks cockily and you swat his chest.
“You don’t have to look so smug about it,” you chastise him.
“Hey, I keep my promises,” he says with that trademark smirk playing on his plush lips.  “Would’a give you more but we’re kinda on the run here, sweetheart.”
“You can owe me, how ‘bout that?”  You push yourself up and try to find your clothes.
He grins at the confirmation that this isn’t just a one-time deal.  “Hell yeah!  Sign me up.”
You clean up with wipes from your travel bag as Dean calls Sam.  You watch the relieved interaction from the front fender of Baby while Dean paces in the dirt a few meters away.  You apply some flavoured lip balm to your kiss bruised lips as he works out the logistics of meeting up and what to do about Bartholomew.
After the call, Dean beelines straight for you, sliding his hands around your waist and burying his face in your neck, kissing playfully.
“I take it we’ve got a few hours at least until we can meet Sam and Cas.”  You thread your fingers through his messy hair, trailing your fingernails over his scalp which he seems to really like.
“Several.”  He says against your delicate skin.
“Whatever are we gonna do to pass the time?”  You smile as you picture the pair of you fucking all over his car.
“I can think of a few things,” he surfaces with a hungry look, leaning back in to kiss you.
Your soft lips claim his once more as you melt into his arms, the kiss heated and full of need.  Dean kisses you with such force it steals your breath and makes your knees weak, and when he pulls back he looks at you thoughtfully.  Licking his lips and tasting you on them, he grins.
“Cherry,” his eyes go to your lips again, “I like it.”
Dean’s talented tongue makes you forget any quip you might have said, as he lifts you onto Baby’s hood and keeps his promise.
234 notes · View notes
tkaulitzlvr · 9 months
Note
I love your writing so much!! Could I request reader giving tom the silent treatment cause he did something and it goes like him getting irritated and then comfort and then smut ??
SILENT TREATMENT- T. KAULITZ
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synopsis: refusing to talk to tom even days after he had forgotten about your date night, he begins to get frustrated, doing whatever it takes to get you to speak to him again.
content: little bit of angst, smut.
a/n: i love writing this kind of stuff omg, thank you for requesting!!
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“jesus baby are you still not talking to me?” tom sighs, sitting down onto the couch beside me as i ignore him announcing that he is home, after spending the day at the studio. “you can’t still be mad?”
stupid question - of course i was. it was now tuesday, and i hadn’t spoken to him since saturday night. we had both agreed that we had been spending less time with each other, with tom so busy preparing to release his new album with the band. so, we had planned a small date night at home, which was going to involve ordering take-out and watching movies, maybe taking a bath together before bed. we had agreed on 6pm, giving him thirty minutes to begin the drive home, allowing for traffic.
so i had sat on our couch, my pyjamas on, all of his favourite snacks laid out on the table with a few of mine, waiting for him to come home. 6:04pm - maybe he had to stay behind at the studio for a few minutes, this happened sometimes, and it was usually out of his control.
6:17pm - it could be traffic, everybody else was leaving work at the same time, the roads were bound to be jammed, i can’t blame him for that.
6:32pm - he could’ve gone to the store? maybe he wanted to get some more snacks for tonight?
my mind was thinking of any excuse that it could, trying to convince myself that tom wouldn’t stand me up - we had had this night planned for over a week, and he seemed pretty excited about it. but as the popcorn on the coffee table began to get cold, my body aching from sitting in the same position for so long, i knew. i knew that he wasn’t going to show. my phone was silent, no text, no call coming through, at least letting me know if he was running late, or not able to come at all. no apology, no promise to make it up to me - absolutely nothing.
9:56pm - my eyes were growing heavy, no longer paying attention to the random movie on the screen, my hand lethargically dipping into the bag of skittles that were meant to be for tom, but i had given up on him coming home long ago, deciding to eat them for myself - it was better than them going to waste. my tired eyes suddenly shoot open when i hear the front door opening and closing, keys being dropped onto the table, and shoes being taken off. i roll my eyes, shaking my head and turning my attention back to the movie, not in the mood to speak to him at all.
“baby?” i hear him call out, his body appearing in the door frame of our living room.
silence. i stay quiet, ignoring him completely and gluing my eyes to the tv screen. he sighs, slowly walking towards me and sitting beside me, trying to wrap his arm around my shoulder, but i shrug him off.
“liebe…i am so sorry.” he apologises, taking my hand in his. i accept his touch, though i still refuse to look at him, way too furious to properly listen to his pointless apology. “the guys, they kept me back at the studio. we want to get this album perfect and i just, i lost track of time-”
“you lost track of time? are you fucking serious?” i finally snap, quickly taking my hand out of his, turning to look at him with my eyebrows furrowed, completely shocked at his shitty excuse. “could you not have texted me, at least let me know in advance? you’re an asshole.”
“look, i promise i’ll make it up to you. i’m really sorry baby.” he says, his voice soft.
“we had this planned for fucking weeks! you agree that we never spend time together, and then you don’t even come home when we plan something? you basically live at that damn studio and i’m sick of it! go back there, i don’t want to see you right now.” i scoff, turning away from him and getting up, turning the tv off and walking to our bedroom.
he quickly follows behind me, not giving up that easily. “come on baby, don’t be like this. i promise you, we can have a date night way better than this, i’ll take you somewhere real nice, yeah?” he suggests, standing in the doorway of the bathroom as i do my skincare, getting ready for bed.
“what so you can stand me up again? saying you got ‘carried away at the studio’ exactly like you do every fucking night? do you know what’s funny, i can’t even remember the last time we spent the day together.” i say, looking at him through the reflection in the mirror, his face dropping a little.
“schatz- look i’m sorry, okay? work has been really hard lately, just give me a chance and i’ll fix this, i swear.” he pleads, walking towards me and trying to put his arms around my waist from behind, but once again, i shrug him off.
“whatever, i’m too fucking tired for this shit.” i sigh, walking out of the bathroom and into our bedroom, switching the light out and leaving him in the dark. “i’m going to bed, do whatever you want.”
i climb into the covers, hearing him take off his clothes and crawl in beside me. he gets closer, trying to wrap his arms around my waist and spoon me as he usually would, but tonight, his touch is the last thing i want. in response, i move his hands away, shuffling to the end of the bed. he sighs in frustration, but accepts my silent request for space, laying flat on his back.
“i love you.” i hear him say from behind me, his voice slow and quiet.
i don’t respond, laying beside him, seeing his face drop a little at my silence. no matter how bad our fighting got, i would always tell him that i loved him, and he would do the same. but this time, i didn’t want to, tired of him throwing me aside.
that was how it had been since that day. i refused to speak to him, despite his constant attempts. he had tried everything, just flat out speaking to me, complimenting me, buying me my favourite snacks, giving me expensive gifts, even coming home early from the studio, but i didn’t budge, still not wanting to talk.
“please, meine liebe, you can’t ignore me forever.” he sighs, shuffling closer to me, beginning to plant slow and soft kisses on the bare skin of my neck, my body shivering at the sudden contact, not used to it as we hadn’t had any physical intimacy since that night, not even a small kiss or cuddle in bed, my stubbornness pushing him away each time.
“i said i was sorry, please forgive me baby.” he mutters against my neck, continuing to kiss it slowly, getting a little more sloppy with his movements.
i push him off me, my hands flat against his chest. he groans in frustration, becoming angry at my determination to keep this going.
“seriously, i don’t know how much longer i can go on like this. come on my love, please just forgive me.” he sighs, not giving up as he returns back to his position, his head in my neck.
he moves his hand to my waist, lifting my oversized t-shirt and caressing the smooth skin of my hips, testing the waters and waiting for me to push him away yet again. but i don’t. i let him carry on, his lips attaching to my neck once again, thumb running up and down my hip, but i know exactly what he wants, the way he gently uses his hold on me to move my body against his lower half giving me a pretty good idea.
“schatz…” he mumbles, his sounds muffled into my skin, breathing against my neck slowly, his teeth slowly grazing against it. “let me make it up to you. let me show you how sorry i am, hm?”
my breathing hitches, my heart running ahead of my mind as i find myself unable to speak, feeling tom smirk against my neck as he realises that he has finally won. he gently turns my body and lays me down so that my back is flat against the couch, climbing on top of me and quickly pressing his lips against mine. he is eager, desperate to feel me against him, wanting to make up for the lost intimacy, kissing harder as a silent way to encourage me to kiss back. i finally do so, threading my hands through his dreads, pulling his cap off of his head before pulling him closer to me, feeling him smile against my lips.
“i love you.” he whispers against my lips, running his hands smoothly up and down my waist before continuing the kiss, not even giving me chance to respond as i am far too lost in the moment. his hands reach for the hem of my t-shirt, stopping for a second and breaking the kiss, looking into my eyes, waiting to see if i am okay with this. i nod my head and he smiles slightly, a cocky smirk on his face as he lifts the material up and over my head, studying the red lace bra i have on before impatiently reconnecting our lips.
he slips his tongue into my mouth, mine moving together with his, the kiss now heated and desperate, my hands moving to cup his face, bringing him closer towards me. i hear him reaching for his belt buckle, pulling away from the kiss to undo it as i take this as an opportunity to lift the large hoodie off of his body, revealing his toned frame, my hands instinctively running down his chest, feeling each muscle as he groans at the contact.
“what happened to you being so angry earlier, hm? haven’t seen you this desperate in a long time, i would’ve done this ages ago if i had known this is all it takes for you to forgive me.” tom says, enjoying the way i gaze upwards at him, my eyes filled with lust, completely different to the coldness i had showed him these last few days.
“who said anything about forgiving you?” i breathe out, looking into his eyes as my hands run down his back, enjoying the way i can tease him. “you haven’t done anything yet, and, who knows, maybe this will show me you aren’t sorry enough.”
“oh baby…” he mocks, slowly tugging my leggings down, leaving me in only my lingerie. he pauses after doing so, leaning downwards so that his lips are right next to my ear, gently sucking on it before speaking again. “i’m gonna fuck you so good that you won’t even remember why you were mad at me in the first place.”
my breathing hitches in my throat, my body feeling hot as his words are enough to make me cum right there on the spot, no need for him to touch me. his lips place a single kiss on the spot directly below my ear, nipping at the skin slowly, taking advantage of the way i angle my neck upwards, giving him more access.
but he doesn’t carry on for long. his lips move lower, starting at my collarbone, planting a few tender kisses there, moving to the flesh of my breasts that are on show, kneading the one that his mouth isn’t paying attention to with his hands, soon becoming tired of my bra still being on, wanting to feel every inch of me. his mouth still on my chest, he reaches behind me, undoing the clasp of my bra with one hand, throwing it somewhere on the floor - neither of us really caring where.
he moves backwards, staring at my breasts in front of him, his lips slightly parted, curving into a gentle smirk, his brown eyes full of desire, watching the way my chest moves up and down with each heavy breath i take.
he wastes no time in reattaching his lips, moving them to my nipples this time, taking them in his mouth and letting his teeth graze them lightly, my back arching in pleasure as i move my hands, using them to push his head further downwards.
“so fucking hot.” he mutters against them, paying each one attention before moving downwards. his lips begin to kiss my upper stomach, his eyes still staring into mine, never breaking eye contact as he crawls further down my body, making sure nothing goes untouched, until he reaches the hem of my panties.
his fingers tease the top of the material, slowly dipping inwards and caressing my lower abdomen, a quiet whine escaping my mouth as i become more and more desperate. he lifts the material upwards with his pointer and ring finger, letting it go as it snaps back into place, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip.
“please.” i breathe out, tired of his teasing as he has pretty clearly made his point, i just need to feel him inside me.
“please what?” he teases, his lips dangerously close to my inner thighs, planting a single kiss there, enjoying the way i squirm a little from the smallest of touches. “use your words, or i won’t know what you want baby.”
“please just touch me.” i sigh out, slightly embarrassed as i have to verbalise my needs, tom knowing full well what i want, loving how he has me at his mercy, willing to do anything if it means he will pleasure me.
“where?” he trails off, tugging my underwear down at an agonisingly slow pace, leaving the red lace on the floor. he kisses my inner thigh again, closer to my heat this time.
“here?” he asks, acting oblivious, getting closer and closer to the place i need him most.
i cannot even respond, my chest heaving up and down as i attempt to utter any sort of coherent speech, my mind too focused on the pleasure that i am so close to receiving to be able to do so.
“or…” he starts, moving his lips from my thigh and hovering directly over my clit, my heart racing as i anticipate his touch, finally where i want him. but, to my disappointment, he moves his head, placing a short kiss, directly above it. “here?”
he knows what he is doing, teasing me beyond belief, leaving me a complete mess, never having to wait this long to feel any kind of pleasure. i make eye contact at him, seeing him already looking upwards at me, a proud smirk tugging on his lips whilst he uses his hands to spread my thighs apart. i rest my head back against the couch again, an exasperated sigh escaping my parted lips.
“stop fucking playing and just-”
my needy rambling is soon cut off by a loud moan as his tongue quickly collides with my clit, his hands pressing into my inner thighs, prying them apart, the pressure he is applying definitely leaving marks, but i am too hazy to care, my mind lost in pure satisfaction. he uses his finger to slowly enter me, my mouth falling open as he picks up a steady pace, his tongue never leaving my clit as all i can do is cry out, incoherent curse words escaping my mouth, tom lowly breathing into me as my release is fast approaching, his slow torment before meaning that it really didn’t take much to get me there.
“fuck- don’t stop.” i let out, this signalling to him that i am close, my climax within arms reach, my hips beginning to grind against his face, yearning to let go of the knot forming in my stomach.
my head falls backwards, back arching off of the couch, seconds away from letting go, tom only speeding up his pace, but, before i can even release, he suddenly stops. my head shoots up in confusion, forehead glistening with sweat, more frustrated than ever.
“tom what the fuck?” i whine, pulling his body upwards so that his face is inches from mine. “why’d you stop, i was so fucking close!”
“be patient baby.” he whispers, planting a soft and quick kiss to my lips, reaching downwards and pulling his boxers down, letting them join the rest of our clothes scattered around the living room. “i said i would make it up to you, so that’s what i’m going to do, no rush.”
he rests both his arms at either side of my head, his hands positioned above it as he starts slowly stroking my hair, dipping his head downwards as he meets my lips, the kiss messy and heated. i am too lost within it to notice one of his hands slipping downwards, taking his dick in it as he positions it at my entrance, a soft whine muffling into the kiss from my lips.
he continues kissing me as he slowly slides in, stretching me out completely, my body never getting used to his size despite the countless times we have done this. he stops kissing me for a second, his forehead pressed against mine, his dick about halfway in.
“you okay?” he asks, wiping a single tear that i hadn’t even realised had fallen from my cheek.
“yeah…keep going.” i reply, placing both hands on his neck and pulling him back downwards, reconnecting our lips as he continues to move inside me until he bottoms out, so deep that i swear i feel him in my stomach. i wince a little, trying to see the pain through, the pleasure building up little by little whilst he stays still inside of me, letting me adjust, his lips still working against mine.
“move.” i manage to say into the kiss, tom pulling halfway out before sliding back inwards, my eyes squeezing shut as he builds up a steady rhythm, moving in and out of me at a slow pace.
“faster.” i say, the pain quickly subsiding, leaving me feeling nothing but pure pleasure. he wastes no time, now thrusting in and out of me at a much faster pace, low grunts emitting from his mouth as he moves his head, kissing my neck slowly, running his tongue over where he had been sucking, soothing the marks a little.
“fuck- you feel so good…” he groans, taking my hips and grabbing a stable hold of me, kneading the flesh and allowing himself to thrust in and out of me easier. “missed this so much, missed you so bad baby.”
all i can do is let out a barely audible ‘mhm’, clinging to his back and running my hands down the soft skin, feeling his muscles flex with each strong movement. my body is flush against his chest, moving in sync with his own, chasing my release as he does the same.
he moves his head, resting his forehead on my own, staring into my eyes as he fucks me, his mouth open, breathing heavy, face glistening with sweat as his pace never falters. i watch the way his eyebrows furrow and eyes flutter shut when i clench around him, knowing exactly how to get him to his climax, his tip brushing over my spot as he helps me get to my own, the familiar knot soon forming in my stomach.
“i’m getting close baby, you close?” he breathes out, his hips stuttering a little, letting me know that he can’t hold on much longer - and neither can i.
“mhm, fuck- please tom, don’t stop…” i cry out, eyes rolling to the back of my head, breath hitching as i am almost there, seconds away from finding my release, chasing it desperately as my hips begin to meet his thrusts, lazily hitting his pelvis as he lets out small moans.
“where do you want it?” he asks, his movements slowly becoming irregular. “fuck- i can’t hold it, where?”
“inside.” i say, tom saying nothing in response as i feel his dick twitch inside of me, followed by his cum coating my walls. his head falls backwards, chest heaving up and down as his eyes screw shut, mouth open as a long groan leaves his mouth, his hips moving at a slow pace, riding out his own high, this triggering my own release.
tears roll down my face as the pleasure takes over, the feeling so strong i question wether i am on the verge of passing out, or, perhaps i am in heaven, the sex almost too good to be true.
he collapses on top of me, his breathing loud and heavy, bodies glistening with sweat as we lay in silence, tom stroking my hair, moving the loose strands that had fallen onto my face.
“did that show you how sorry i am?” he breathes out, slowly pulling out of me and caressing my waist, looking into my eyes as i manage a lazy smile.
“you need to be sorry more often.” i say, holding his face in my hands as my body lays limply below him. “if it means you fuck me like that then you can mess up every single day.”
he grins slightly, kissing my collarbone gently, looking upwards at me as our eyes meet.
“seriously though. i’m really sorry baby. please forgive me.” he says, moving so that his face is hovering over mine, his thumb caressing my cheek.
i smile upwards at him, placing a soft kiss on his lips as he kisses back, pulling away and kissing my forehead quickly, sitting upright and pulling me into his lap, my legs wrapping around his torso, arms around his neck.
“i love you.” he says, bringing me in closer to his embrace. “please say it back, you haven’t these past few days and i fucking hated it.”
he lets out a small laugh, but i can tell that it genuinely hurt him, guilt beginning to rise in my stomach.
“you know how stubborn i can be, but you were also a massive asshole.” i say, looking upwards at him, his eyes already gazing into mine. “i love you though, you know i do.”
not even bothering to get dressed, or go to our bedroom, we both fall asleep in each other’s arms, silently promising to never let our arguments get to that point, although we now knew that we had a way to fix it, no matter how bad it got.
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requests are open! keep sending them in!!
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dameronology · 1 year
Text
liar (bucky barnes)
based on the paramore song of the same name lol a.k.a the one where bucky barnes is scared of his own feelings a.k.a jazz is back in her bucky era
warnings; language
enjoy!!
-jazz
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Bucky Barnes had never considered himself a liar.
If anything, he had a hard time not telling the truth. It escaped from his mouth before he even had the chance to think about; no, Steve, I think your new hair cut sucks and sorry Sam, she wasn’t actually checking you out, she was waving at the guy behind you. Call it a product of his years as an assassin - because he couldn’t recall being this truthful back in the war - but it was part of who he was now. Sometimes he thought it meant he should come with a warning; something to say don’t pull the pin on this grenade, because he won’t lie to your mum about liking her food. Would that have been the worst Tinder bio ever? Yeah, no doubt.
Bucky had a hard time even lying to himself. That had become clear as soon as you whirl-whinded into his life. That day was still as crystal clear in his head six months later. It had been an early morning at the SHIELD HQ - the F-train had been delayed an hour and he’d come sprinting into a national security meeting, Starbucks in one hand (he was already late, he figured five minutes more for a frappuccino wouldn’t hurt) and a jumbled apology ready to offer. Then, not two seconds later, you’d come sprinting through the door, smacking into the back of him and launching the iced coffee from his hand, into the air, and straight into the lap of the British prime minister. 
Bucky was late, but you’d been even later. He liked that about you.
You were a whirl-wind in his life; his best friend from that day forward and the reason he could let go of the breath he’d been holding for so many years. Meetings were never boring with you, nor was the paperwork after long missions or the early starts. Every time he was late, he knew you’d take even longer because maybe his commute from Brooklyn was long but you lived three blocks away from work and managed to sleep through every goddamn alarm you’d set. 
It was clear about exactly three seconds after you met that you and Bucky were not destined to just be friends. You knew it and he knew it but neither of you wanted to talk about it. Avoiding the truth wasn’t necessarily lying - Bucky was thankful for that, because he knew that if you asked, everything would come out. He wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t ready for love. 
So, you both left it to rest (and maybe to rot). 
“I hate meetings,” you grumbled. It was eight o’clock on a Monday morning and thanks to a national security threat, you once again found yourself in the SHIELD meeting room earlier than you felt to be natural. “Can’t they just put this in an email?”
“Probably,” Bucky replied. “Hi guys, there’s a terrorist threat. If you see something, say something. Lots of love, the security council.” 
You snorted. “Did you know I have all of their emails sent straight to my spam?”
“I would do the same but I can’t work out how the Facebook app works,” he muttered. “Why are there so many buttons? What are cookies?”
“Buck, why would you have the security council on Facebook?”
“Isn’t that…” he paused, scratching the back of his head. “Isn’t that where emails go?”
You dropped your head in your hands and let out a groan. “I only just got you used to Twitter. I’ll leave it a few weeks before I overwhelm you with any more social media apps.”
“What about TikTok?”
“I am never letting you download TikTok,” you said. 
“Sam said that I should make thirst traps-”
“- please no!” you cut him off. “Never take life advice from Sam.”
Sam was sat across the table from you, a scowl on his face. He was a morning person - hell, the man had already been for a run that morning - but the combination of you and Bucky at any point in the day was enough to drive him up the wall. He glanced between you both, brown eyes calculating for a second, before a grin spread across his face. 
“Don’t worry, he doesn’t,” Sam chirped. “Remember last week when I told you to do that thing, Buck?”
Bucky’s eyes widened. “Shut up, Sam.”
“What thing?” you frowned.
“It’s not mine to share,” Sam shrugged. “But based on the last five minutes’ worth of interactions alone? I think it would be best to listen to me-”
“- I swear to god if you don’t stop talking!” Bucky cut him off; then he glanced at you, blue eyes wavering for a second. “Don’t listen to him.”
Sam knew that he was doing; playing devil’s advocate because a) it meant he could piss off Bucky and b) hopefully get two of his best friends to finally get together after months of pining. It had gotten to the point where him and Steve had literal bets on it. Not necessarily on if you would get together, but more on when. 
“I’m not, but you’re acting weird,” you said. “Want to share with the class?”
“No,” Bucky firmly said.
“Buck,” you warned; it was clear by your voice that you weren’t fucking around. “I don’t know what immature high school bullshit is going on right now but I don’t appreciate it.” 
“I’ll talk to you about it later, okay?” he said. 
“You’re an ass,” you replied.
Picking up your bag and coffee, you shuffled over to the other side of the meeting table where Steve was sat. He hadn’t said a word in any of this; you quite often cursed the lack of boundaries amongst the four of you, but you couldn’t fault Steve that morning. He’d kept to himself, simply watching in awe at the chaos that had just unfolded. 
You stopped in the seat beside him, glancing over at him. “If you say a word, I’ll hit you.”
“I’m not saying anything,” he held up his hands in defense.
The meeting was quick, thankfully. Even worse, it definitely could have been put in an email. You also couldn’t help but notice the British diplomats watching your coffee carefully every time you moved - that was a joke you could have made to Bucky, had he not managed to get himself into your bad books.
You’d barely been out the board room five minutes before you were practically wrestling him by the ear into a quiet corner. The meeting had been quick, thankfully. It hadn’t felt that way for Bucky, who’d been sat opposite you the entire time, barely avoiding your dagger-y gaze. If looks could kill, his vibranium arm would have had a fair few dents in it. 
“So?” you asked. “What was that all about?”
“It’s nothing,” Bucky quickly replied. “I promise-”
“- bullshit!” you cut him off. “Why are you keeping things from me, Buck?”
“I’m not.”
“You are!” you exclaimed. “Look, I don’t even want to know what you and Sam were talking about but at least have the common decency not to keep me out of a conversation that’s about me!”
“Why aren’t you mad at Sam too?!”
“Believe me, I have it out for Sam too but it’s worse when this stuff comes from you!”
Bucky thinned his eyes at you. “Why?”
“You know why.”
He sighed, shifting from one foot to another. Eyes to the ceiling for a second, he took a deep breath. 
“Sam told me last week that I should ask you out,” he said. “Said something about how everyone around us can see what we don’t, and that we’re kidding ourselves, and…”
You sniffed, trying to stay composed. It had been a long time coming, there was no denying that. Bucky had been avoiding the conversation because he wasn’t ready but you’d been avoiding it because you were terrified of the answer. Rejection from literally anyone else in the world would have been fine, but from him? There was no metaphor for that pain, or that fear. 
“And what?” you asked. “What do you think of that?”
He shrugged. “I think it’s…”
You both waited for a second, the tension in the air almost suffocating.
“...dumb.”
Your eyebrows shot up. “Dumb?!”
“Yeah?” Bucky sounded unsure. “We’re best friends, and-”
“- that’s bullshit!” you snapped. “Buck, I know you can be confusing but…if there’s one thing I am certain of, it’s that we are not just best friends and you know it!”
“Do I?”
You took a step back, sniffing. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s dumb. Forget I said anything.”
“Wait, don’t be like that-”
“- it’s fine, James,” you sniffed. “I’ll see you around.”
“Are we good?”
“Yeah, we’re good.”
(You weren’t good.)
“Okay, I’m glad. Call me later, yeah?”
“Yeah, of course,” you forced a smile.
(You weren’t going to call him.)
Five days.
That’s the longest Bucky had gone without talking to you since he’d met you and also the exact amount of time you’d been ignoring him for. He’d given in calling you after three days, and considered coming around your apartment after four, but then he got a last minute call onto a mission where your name was at the top of the call sheet. Fab. 
Bucky liked to consider himself a good flier, but it certainly would have been easier to co-pilot a jet with someone who was actually willing to talk to him. It was quite amazing, actually, to see the lengths that you were willing to go to all in pursuit of icing him out. 
“This is Barnes to air traffic control on QJ564. We’ll be approaching our destination in about five minutes, currently at 10,000 feet, over.”
“This is ATC to QJ564, you’re cleared for landing in Munich, runway four. Over.”
“This is Barnes to ATC on QJ564. Runway four confirmed, thank you. Could you also tell my co-pilot that I’m sorry and that I miss them? Over.”
“Uh…this is ATC to QJ564. Barnes says he’s sorry and that he misses you. Over.”
“This is Barnes’ co-pilot on QJ564, tell him that I think he’s a cun-”
“- this is Captain Rogers monitoring the channels for suspicious activity from the headquarters. May I remind the pilots aboard QJ564 of the appropriate workplace manners over professional channels? Over.”
After Steve’s voice, the lines went silent. Bucky glanced over at you, eyebrows raised. 
“That was rude.”
You continued to ignore him, attention turned to landing the jet safety. It wasn’t hard - Tony Stark had built a jet that practically landed itself, but it was still a good enough excuse to blank out your best friend for the next five minutes. Still, none of that conversation was worth the absolute castigating you were about to receive from Captain America as soon as you were back in New York. He was no fun sometimes. 
With the jet safely on the runway, you parked up at the airport and made your way down to the tarmac where the agents were waiting. All you had to do now was await instructions from headquarters on what to do next. That gave you more empty time with Bucky, who was stood next to you. So, you moved away and leant against the wheels of the plane, pulling out your phone to play Doodle Jump.
The call came through eventually, but it was to Bucky’s radio instead of yours. 
“Right, agents,” he began, though it was more a sigh than anything. “Coulson is currently ten minutes out on another quinjet to lead the mission. Agent (Name) and I have been removed from this operation for the foreseeable future so that we can sit in the jet, man the communications systems and re-take the online seminar about appropriate workplace language.”
“What?!” you exclaimed. “Nice one, Barnes!”
Bucky forced a smile, trying not to crack up in front of the fifteen junior agents stood in front of you. “Why we have to retake it is a mystery to me.”
“Good luck out there, guys,” you huffed. With that, you spun around and stormed back on board the jet. 
Bucky was hot on your heels, closing up the door behind him as he went. He didn’t really know what to say - somehow he’d made you angrier, now - but apolgoising profusely felt like a pretty good place to start. 
“So you’re talking to me now?” he asked, following you through the fuselage. 
“No!”
“You just did!”
“Fuck off, Bucky!”
“And again!”
“Leave me alone!”
He grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“Sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it,” you huffed.
Taking a seat, you curled your legs up in front of you. You didn’t try and swat (or hit) Bucky when he leant down in front of you, which he took as a good sign. It was time to pull out the big guns. 
“Can I talk for just…maybe five seconds, possibly ten, without you interrupting?”
You nodded.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never want to hurt you because you’re the last person in the world I’d ever want to upset but I was put on the spot by what Sam said, and then by what you said, and it freaked me out a little,” he began. “You and I both know that he’s right - but never tell him I said that - and honestly, the silence you’ve given me over the last five days made me realise that more than ever.”
You smiled. “What are you saying, Buck?”
“I love you,” he said. It was plain and simple, completely without hesitation and entirely with conviction. “I’ve known that for a while but I just didn’t want to admit it to myself, but like I said…five days without you made me realise I don’t even want to go five seconds without you.”
“That’s how you apologise,” you gave him a watery grin, poking him in the chest. 
“So?”
“So what?”
“Anything you want to say to that?”
“Oh, yeah!” you exclaimed. “I love you too.”
Bucky pulled you into a kiss; he held you flush against him, one hand holding the back of your neck, metal one gripping the back of your tac-vest. Despite everything, he was warm and you were certain then that you were never going to let him - if not a little ecstatic that you’d found a new way to shut him up. 
You both jumped back when you heard the doors to the jet go, only to turn around and see Phil Coulson on the phone, a glare on his face.
“What is it with you two and inappropriate work place behaviour?”
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yelena-bellova · 1 year
Text
Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Seven
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Chapter Seven: Hands
Plot: Y/n and Joel work to escape the ambush with their lives, sharing an unexpected tender moment after.
Word Count: 7.6k
Warnings: tlou ep.4 spoilers, language, graphic description of injuries, canon-typical violence, death, blood, guns, knives, insinuated a**ault, (16+)
A/N: THERE WAS ONE BED. Sorry, I’ve been waiting five days to say that. Anyway, this one was super fun to write. As always, this series is 16+ and I will not be tagging anyone unless your age is specified in your bio. Gotta look out for younger eyes 👀
Enjoy, and good luck to all going into tonight’s episode 🙏🏻
——————
June 6th, 2002. Austin Texas.
Summer in Texas brought a brutal heat, but once the sun set, it was bearable to a point of enjoyment.
Y/n’s fingers drummed anxiously against her steering wheel as she drove to the fairgrounds. If she’d been nervous about her first date with Joel, this was worse. If she couldn’t fit in with the family, there was no point in them going any further. The night had to go well.
She pulled into the dirt parking lot, taking a deep breath before switching off her car. Sarah and her had already gotten along when she’d driven her home. And Tommy already felt like an old friend. Everything would be fine…probably.
Tommy, Joel and Sarah waited at the front of the fair, the latter two peeking through the sea of people for one specific person.
“Can’t tell which one of you’s more excited,” Tommy chuckled, looking between his niece and brother.
“I’m excited,” Sarah replied, standing on her tiptoes to get a better look, “Dad’s nervous.”
“I am not nervous,” Joel stated, his fiddling thumbs over his pockets contradicting his words.
Before Tommy could get in a jab, the three of them spotted Y/n’s head bobbing through crowd. Sarah and Tommy waved wildly, Joel tried to keep his restrained.
“The yellow rose of Texas,” Tommy cheered, beating Joel to give her a hug.
Y/n laughed as Tommy spun her around. “Nice to see you too,” she grinned.
Sarah jumped forward, unable to contain her excitement any longer. “Hi, Y/n!”
“Hey,” Y/n greeted her, unsure whether or not she was supposed to hug her or if it was too much or-
Her excessive thoughts died in thin air as soon as her and Joel’s eyes met.
He sheepishly walked forward, hoping it didn’t seem like he wasn’t enthusiastic about her being there. He was just so fucking nervous.
“Dad,” Sarah piped up, “Doesn’t Y/n look pretty tonight?”
“Yeah,” Tommy added, taking Y/n’s hand and twirling her around, “Better make a move before she realizes she can do better.”
Joel nodded along, “Alright, alright,” he took Y/n’s hand, “Hi.”
“Hi,” she smiled, all her anxiety suddenly seemed worth it.
“Should we get this show on the road?” Tommy asked, slapping his hands together and pulling Sarah along with him.
Joel and Y/n’s fingers stayed interlocked as they walked in.
“She’s been bouncing off the walls all day,” he admitted, “Couldn’t wait to see you.”
Y/n forced a laugh, “You’re doing wonders for my anxiety…”
Joel laughed, sneaking a kiss to Y/n’s temple while his family’s backs were turned.
The night, however, ended up going better than either one of them expected. Sarah was glued to Y/n’s side all night, barely acknowledging her uncle or Joel. She insisted that Y/n sit with her on all the rides, even grabbing her hand on one of the coasters. Y/n made an effort in between attractions to find out Sarah’s interests, finding common ground in music mostly. Joel’s daughter was witty, smart and a downright joy to simply be around.
Joel watched the whole thing, his heart bursting with affection for them both. Under the glow of the carnival lights, he wasn’t sure what he had been so worried about. He had the two most incredible girls in his life and it was crazy to think they wouldn’t get along.
They’d walked nearly the entire fair before Sarah spotted the ferris wheel. “We haven’t done that one yet,” she said, “Y/n?”
“Well, if your dad’s recovered from the tilt-o-whirl,” Y/n shrugged, smiling smugly at Joel.
Joel pointed a finger at Y/n, “Don’t even mention that death contraption.”
The four of them made their way through the line, zigging and zagging. Somewhere along the way, Sarah drifted behind Joel and Y/n to walk alongside Tommy, forcing the two of them together. They filed up the steps and into the cart, expecting Tommy and Sarah to be right behind them.
“Oh,” Sarah put her hands to her stomach, “I’m not feeling great.”
Tommy grabbed his niece’s shoulders with great concern, “Oh, no. Maybe we should go sit you down.”
Joel, though already barred in his seat, tried to stand up. “Sarah, I-“
“You guys go ahead,” she waved her dad off, “I think I just need some water or something.”
“Well, no,” Y/n said, trying to push the bar up, “We can just-“
The wheel creaked to life and began to lift Y/n and Joel up into the air.
“Well, fuck,” Joel muttered, frantically looking around as if he could somehow stop it in motion, “I wonder if it’s somethin’ she ate.”
Y/n peered down, searching out Tommy and Sarah’s forms. She chuckled when she finally spotted them. “Something tells me she’ll live,” she tapped Joel on the shoulder and pointed downwards.
There, back in line for more greasy carnival food, was Sarah, nearly bouncing beside her uncle as they watched Y/n and Joel.
Joel threw his head back in relief and laughter, blindly seeking out Y/n’s hand.
“Your daughter might just be an evil genius,” Y/n smirked.
“She’s diabolical,” Joel replied, turning to face Y/n with a lovesick grin, “She loves you.”
Y/n folded her other hand over Joel’s, “She’s magic. Just pure sunshine.”
“No, I mean,” Joel sat up straighter, “She’s never taken to anyone like she has you. It’s just been us and Tommy her whole life and the way she’s accepted you is just…”
Neither one needed to say it, they could both feel it. Sarah had taken Y/n in like she’d always been there.
“I’m honored,” Y/n beamed.
Joel felt like he was locked in a tractor beam, Y/n’s eyes drawing him in further and further. The two of them startled when the ferris wheel creaked again and they stopped moving, having reached the top of their climb.
“So,” Y/n started, “Did I pass the Miller family test?”
Joel took the opportunity to wrap his arm around her shoulders, dragging her frame closer to him till they were pressed against one another. Y/n interlocked her fingers with his, her stomach nearly in her throat from the closeness.
Joel knew that the next seconds were crucial. If he kissed Y/n, he was signing away his future. There would never be another woman his eyes followed across the room. The room would empty as soon as she walked in. There would never be another first date, sweaty palms and racing heartbeat accompanying. The nerves would morph into different firsts, ones of far more significance. If he gave his heart fully to this woman, it would never again be his.
Joel rubbed a thumb against Y/n’s shoulder and smiled, “Flyin’ colors, Rosebud.”
Y/n was practically glowing, relief radiating out of her. She knew that Sarah was the final puzzle piece to her and Joel, and it had all come together gloriously. There were no more obstacles, there was only them.
Joel’s eyes flickered to Y/n’s lips, the signal that meant something beautiful was about to happen. She held firm, not wanting to move and upset the electricity of the moment. Joel’s head slowly drifted forward, his nose gently sliding against Y/n’s. She couldn’t hide her shaky exhale as their skin finally touched.
Joel allowed a few seconds, for the possibility of her backing out, before letting himself lean in fully and kiss her.
The pure relief that ran through their bodies paralyzed them, their lips pausing as if the commit the feeling to memory. The shock wore off and Y/n pushed her lips deeper against his, seeking out the second kiss. Joel met her, bringing his free hand up to hold her cheek in place. His fingers spread across the side of her face, two brushing against her jawline. It was nearly a lazy kiss, like they knew this was just the first of a million and they could take their time with it.
There, above a sea of noise that faded in their ears, Y/n and Joel felt their uncertainties turn to stone. They were each other’s future.
—————————
2023. Kansas City, Missouri.
The crash could have been worse.
“Ellie?” Y/n panted, reaching blindly behind her.
“I’m okay,” Ellie grabbed hold of Y/n’s arm.
“You’re not hurt, nothin?” Joel asked both of them, his eyes frantically scanning them for injuries.
Ellie shook her head, “I don’t think so.”
“Good,” Y/n confirmed, checking Joel’s face and hands for blood.
Inevitable gunshots began to hit the truck, sending them ducking for cover.
“Belts off,” Joel shouted, “Fast!”
They unbuckled and Ellie crawled out her side of the truck, Y/n and Joel following. Y/n had the good sense to grab her backpack as she slid out. They crouched down behind the truck, Joel reaching back in to grab Y/n and his shotguns.
One of their assailants called out to them, “Let’s see you, motherfucker! Give us your shit, you make it through this! I promise!”
A lie.
Y/n and Joel loaded their guns in preparation. They could fight, but Ellie couldn’t.
Joel spotted a hiding spot through the wall. “Hey,” he caught Ellie’s attention, “You see that hole? Can you squeeze through?”
A couple warning shots caused them all to flinch, Y/n throwing an arm over Ellie’s body instinctively.
“When I say go, you crawl through that wall,” Joel instructed, “And you squeeze through, and you don’t come out until we say, okay?”
A bullet flew through one of the truck’s windows, the shards of glass raining around them. Y/n was directly under its stream, her adrenaline blocked the feeling of the small cuts.
“And they’re not gonna hit you,” Joel kept going, Ellie was already turning in concern towards Y/n, “Look at me!”
“Ellie,” Y/n urged, “Listen to him.”
Ellie turned to Joel, he drove the promise home. “They’re not gonna hit you.”
Another bullet came too close for comfort.
“You stay down, you stay low, you stay quiet,” Joel instructed, trying to give her as much information as possible in an attempt to soothe her fears.
“Mm-hmm,” Ellie nodded, Y/n squeezed her hand for reassurance.
“Okay,” Joel said, looking over to Y/n. The two of them had to be perfectly in sync for the plan to work. Y/n gave a confidant nod and he returned it.
“GO!”
On cue, Ellie began to belly crawl across the floor while Y/n and Joel got to their feet. When one of them took a shot, the other would stay down. They timed their reloads so that someone was always up and firing.
While crouched behind the truck, Y/n glanced over at the hole in the wall, the only thing left visible was Ellie’s leg being pulled through.
“She’s in,” Y/n told Joel, popping up as he went down and firing a shot at one of their attackers.
Joel was making up their escape route on the fly, trying to find a place safe enough to take cover behind. “Come on,” he muttered, leading Y//n behind a large piece of equipment.
Y/n crouched beside Joel, her mind racing with grim possibilites as the crunching of glass came closer. Joel was the better shot, without question, but her fear for Ellie’s life made her much quicker to the trigger. Joel motioned for her to stay down, he would take the shot.
Waiting for their attacker to be in perfect position, Joel rose to his feet and fired a deadly bullet.
Joel exhaled, he’d been holding his breath as they’d lay in waiting. He offered Y/n a hand, which she took, and pulled her to her feet. He went to reload the shotgun, but it had become jammed.
A body burst through the door, barely leaving Joel and Y/n time to react. Joel smacked the butt of his gun into the assailant’s, the almost-fatal shot hitting the ceiling instead. Y/n backed up and took aim, but the man swung around and knocked the shotgun out of her hands. Joel was trying to draw him away from Y/n, but as she went to attack him, she was thrown into Joel and they were backed up against their shelter. They struggled against the man as he tried to shove his gun against their throats.
Even though there were two of them, he quickly overpowered them and pulled them to the floor. He pinned Y/n and Joel down, the rifle big enough to dig into both their throats.
“Now you’re gonna pay, motherfuckers,” he threatened, “What you fuckin’ did, you killed yourself, motherfucker!”
Y/n and Joel began to feel the oxygen drain from their lungs, both of them kicking wildly in a sad attempt to free themselves. The sounds of Y/n’s struggles cut right to Joel’s heart, making him fight harder.
Y/n tried with her remaining strength to push the gun away from them, but without her and Joel at their best, it was fruitless. She gagged, her eyesight was beginning to blur. Their journey couldn’t end here, not like this…
Desperately trying to comfort her in what was assuredly their last moment, Joel’s hand, that was barely brushing Y/n’s, fought to slide a finger over hers. If they were going out, they were going out together.
And then suddenly, the weight lifted from them. Y/n fell onto her side, Joel landing up against her with an arm resting against her convulsing abdomen. They sputtered for air, coughing and hacking as it refilled their chests. Y/n held onto Joel’s arm as she wheezed, gripping him for traction as she tried to draw a true breath.
Joel forced himself up onto his arm, turning around and seeing their salvation came in the form of Ellie and a pistol. He should have known that she wasn’t going to listen…
“No, no, no, no, no,” Joel and Y/n’s attacker cried as Ellie took a step towards him, “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s over. We’re not fighting anymore.”
Finally gaining enough oxygen to see straight, Y/n leaned up, coming face to face with Ellie. Her heart broke at the sight of her, so young, having been forced to make an irreversible decision.
“I’m gonna go home,” the guilty promised, “I’ll tell everyone you’re good,” he began to cry, “I don’t know what to do. My legs don’t work.”
Joel’s protective arm remained around Y/n the whole time.
“My mom isn’t far,” the man continued to bargain for his life, “If you could get me to her.”
Y/n tapped Joel’s hand, shrugging his arm off as they got to their knees. Joel looked down at their hands, blood smeared on both their palms. The slow stream was coming from the back of Y/n’s hand, the spray of the truck’s glass window had cut her up good.
“We could trade with you guys,” the man tried to reason with a teary-eyed Ellie, “We could be friends. I didn’t know. I’m Bryan, I’m Bryan. What’s your name?”
Joel and Y/n helped each other up, steadying one another as they got to their feet. The sound of their assailant speaking, trying to be friendly to Ellie set Y/n off. She took a threatening step toward him, Joel had to hold her back by her hips.
They turned to Ellie, who looked like she was somewhere between relieved and tortured. Joel held out a hand, silently demanding the gun still shaking in her palm. She handed it over without hesitation.
Bryan had begun to weep behind them, as if that made any difference to the people whose lives he’d been ready to steal. Joel turned slowly, stuffing the gun in his jacket pocket and pulling out his own pistol.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Bryan sniffled, picking up the knife he would have most likely killed Y/n and Joel with and dropping it at their feet, “You can have it. It’s a good knife.”
Joel bent over to pick it up, turning to Ellie after. “Get behind the wall,” he growled.
“No, no, no, no,” Bryan cried, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please, please, we could just talk. I’m sorry! I’m-“
Ellie looked between him and Y/n, who nodded towards the hole as a back up to Joel’s order. Moving mechanically, Ellie hurried back through the hole to the others side of the building.
Bryan continued to beg for mercy, something Joel had been short on for twenty years. Y/n, usually the more reasonable of the two, stood over the sniffling young man, seething. He’d been ready to kill them like they were nothing. He’d have killed Ellie, or worse, taken her and allowed his friends to commit unspeakable acts to her. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness.
Joel didn’t bother asking Y/n for her opinion as he stalked forward. He ignored Bryan’s pleas, the shrieking cries for his mother. As he brought the knife down on him, Y/n turned away, desiring justice but unable to watch its delivery.
When it was over, Joel looked over to Y/n, who was turned towards the wall. He didn’t have time to feel any guilt over causing further damage to their past selves. He made his way over to her and took her hand into his, examining the bloody cuts.
“Window,” she choked out, pulling away from his touch, “I’ll clean it later.”
Joel nodded, there were no other options. “Ellie,” he called out, “We gotta get in there. We can’t fit through.”
“There’s some stuff against the door,” she replied.
“Well, can you move it?” Joel asked.
Y/n and Joel hurried around the back of the laundromat and to the side entrance to the building Ellie was hidden in. They leaned their collective weight against the door, the screech of a desk sliding on the other side. They burst through together, slamming the door shut after.
“Let’s go,” Joel hurried to help Ellie, “Fast.”
The three of them slid the desk back against the door, barricading themselves for the time being. It left them with nothing other than the reality of what happened sinking in on them.
“I’m okay,” Ellie was quick to say, reaching for her pack, “I’m good. I, uh, got some food in here still, and I got your light still.”
“What now?” Ellie asked.
“We go up,” Joel answered, already on the move.
“To get a better look?”
“Hopefully we spot a clear route out,” Joel opened the door that would lead them outside, “Stay close.”
Ellie nodded, “Got it.”
The three of them moved through the back room of the building, daylight greeting them as they found their way outside. Joel led them along the alley, finding cover behind an old car. They could hear the attacker’s calls for Bryan and the subsequent ones of terror when they found his body.
Joel cut across the street, shining his light through the opposite building’s door. Deeming it safe, he gestured for Y/n and Ellie to meet him. They ran through it, closing the door quietly behind them.
“Stairs?” Y/n asked, pulling out her pistol while Joel manned the flashlight.
Joel led them through the dark, the three of them flying up the steps in order to try and seek some vantage point. When they couldn’t find one, they headed back to the first level.
They snaked through holes, doors and carefully across streets, always avoiding whatever noise was just a few blocks over.
Eventually, they landed in a bar with newspapers plastered against the windows. It was the quietest street they’d found yet and safe for the time being. Joel monitored the city through the small chunk of exposed glass as sounds grew closer, watching as trucks and tanks rolled down the street.
Y/n was seated at the table, the first aid kid open and her hand stretched out. There were at least a dozen small shards of glass stuck in her skin, blood slowly trickling around them. It was going to be a bitch getting them out.
“They’re not FEDRA,” Ellie recounted the discussion they’d just had, “They’re not Fireflies. Who are they?”
“People,” Joel answered as he continued to watch.
“Are we okay in here?”
“Yeah, for now, but we gotta keep-“ Y/n’s gasp interrupted her sentence as she poured rubbing alcohol across the back of her hand. “We gotta keep moving,” she strained.
Joel’s attention was drawn away by Y/n’s cry of pain, but he made sure to look back through the window one more time. “Looks like they’re checkin’ out apartment buildings first. But they’ll be comin’ through these places soon enough.”
“So we zig when they zag,” Y/n stated, sanitizing her pair of tweezers.
Joel got up and Ellie took his spot at the window, he moved towards the table.
“There’s a really tall building, like, four blocks away,” Ellie reported.
“Yeah, saw it,” Joel replied.
“So that’s the one?” Ellie asked.
“As soon as we don’t hear a truck,” Joel said, “We move. Fast as we can.”
Joel came to sit across from Y/n, watching as she carefully began to pull pieces of glass from her skin. She was trying her best to hold back tears, her lip trembling as she bit down on it. His fingers practically twitched to help her, telling himself to hold back as much as he could.
Y/n’s hand began to shake as she reached for another shard, whimpering when she accidentally nudged it deeper into the cut.
“Here,” Joel offered, though it was more an order. He held out a hand for the tweezers.
“I’ve got it,” Y/n mumbled wetly, speaking past the lump in her throat.
“I know you do,” Joel replied softly, the softest tone he’d taken with her in twenty years. He looped his fingers through the vice-like grip she had on her tool, gently pulling it down to the table. “Here.”
Y/n was in too much pain to fight, and she knew Joel would get it done quick. She allowed him to take her injured hand into his, the sensation of his touch against her palm sending a jolt through them both.
Joel worked with precision, carefully pulling each shard out of each cut. Y/n would let out a small whine every once in a while, but he didn’t stop to look at her. The faster he moved, the faster her pain would end.
Y/n tried to focus on anything, anything other than the pain. That thing ended up being Joel’s hands. The rough callouses against her wrist, the occasional brush of his knuckle as he worked, the length of his fingers in comparison to hers. In the heat of misery, she couldn’t see what a dangerous place her mind was in. All she could see was Joel.
Once he was done, Joel collected the bloody shards in a piece of gauze and stuck them in the first aid kit. They couldn’t leave any trail. Y/n reached into the box and pulled out a bandage roll. Joel placed a large gauze pad over the back of her hand and unrolled the spool. He pulled Y/n’s hand closer to him across the table, lifting it up as he wrapped it in the material. He handled her with all the delicacy he could muster.
Y/n watched him wrap her hand, thinking of the last time he’d been this soft with her. For as rough around the edges as Joel had always been, there was a tenderness that had only ever been reserved for her and Sarah. To feel it again was to travel twenty years into the past, to feel their fingers intertwine as they laid in bed or walked down the street…
She almost forgot about her anger, just for a moment.
Joel secured the bandage and gently set her hand back on the table. They peered up at one another, the cautious look in their eyes saying more than their lips ever could.
“Thank you,” Y/n muttered.
Joel simply nodded, retracting his hands back into his sides. Reintroducing the feel of Y/n’s skin was dangerous, muscle memory was sure to seek out and seek more and more of it. He balled up his fists and set them in his lap.
Settled, Y/n glanced over at Ellie, who was seated against the wall with her knees to her chest. With a minute of calm on their side, they were all trying to deal with what had happened after the crash.
“Are you guys okay?” Ellie asked.
Y/n held up her bandaged hand, one side of her mouth twitching upwards.
“I’m all right,” Joel answered, looking anywhere but at Ellie as he struggled, “Are you…all right?”
“Yeah,” Ellie mumbled quickly.
Joel fiddled with his hand, there was a duality to him he didn’t know how to properly function out of. Twenty years of burying your feelings could leave you severely impaired by the time you needed to access them again.
“Thing is, I didn’t hear that guy comin’,” he sighed.
“Neither of us did,” Y/n looked up, her and Joel’s eyes meeting again in mutual guilt.
Joel turned back to Ellie, “You shouldn’t have had to…you know.”
“Well, you’re glad I did, right?” Ellie asked, needing reassurance that she’d done the right thing.
Good and bad were so muddled, post-pandemic. Y/n was glad she’d kept her life, but it came at the expense of another piece of Ellie’s innocence. What was she supposed to say?
“Thing is, you’re just a kid,” Joel said for the both of them, “You shouldn’t know what it means to…” he diverted his eyes, desperately searching for the magic words to make her feel any better, “It’s not like you killed him. But shootin’ or…” he sighed, “I know what it’s like, first time that you, uh, hurt someone like that.”
Y/n stayed quiet, unable to watch Joel’s painful attempt. She knew the moment he was referring to, and it hadn’t been the dick in the bar all those years ago.
“If you, uh,” Joel tried, stuttering on consonants after, “I’m not good at this.”
“Yeah,” Ellie numbly agreed, “You really aren’t.”
“I mean it was my fault,” Joel rushed out, glancing over to Y/n, “Our fault. You shouldn’t have had to,” he made sure to look in Ellie’s eyes, “And I’m sorry.”
“I am too,” Y/n added, her throat nearly clogging up.
Ellie soaked in their words, hurriedly wiping away at the tears welling in her eyes. It only made Joel and Y/n feel worse about their mistake.
“It wasn’t my first time,” Ellie spoke up, not looking in either of their directions.
While they were both emotionally guarded, Y/n was the more available between her and Joel. Her heart still beat for those in need. She got up from the table and came to Ellie, sliding down the wall until she was sitting next to her. She didn’t reach out, she just wanted Ellie to know that she wasn’t alone.
Joel’s way of showing he cared bled through in the way he protected. If he could ensure his people were safe, he could breathe easier.
He got down on his knees in front of Ellie, unloading her pistol from his pocket and handing it back to her.
“Show me your grip,” he said, “Finger off the trigger.”
Ellie held up the gun, barely concealing her joy at finally getting to learn.
“Now who taught you that?” Joel asked.
“FEDRA school,” she answered.
“Figures,” he muttered, Y/n scoffed alongside him. He maneuvered Ellie’s fingers, “Your thumb over your thumb. Left hand squeezes down on the right.”
Y/n reached out with her good hand, tucking one of Ellie’s stray fingers in. “Pinkies in,” she smirked, “There’s no princesses here.”
“There you go,” Joel sat back, “Look it.”
He tugged on the gun, trying to pull the gun from Ellie’s grip, but it held. She giggled as he yanked her forward.
“Okay?” Joel said sternly.
Ellie nodded, a smile still painted across her face.
Joel loaded the cartridge back into the weapon and safely handed it back to Ellie, who went to stuff it in her pocket.
“Uh-uh,” Joel shook his head, “You put it in your pack. You’ll shoot your damn ass off.”
Y/n turned her head away and snickered, still not wanting to give Joel the satisfaction of getting a laugh out of her. Joel got to his feet and extended a hand out to her. Y/n begrudgingly took it and let him pull her up.
Noting that outside had gone quiet, Joel nodded towards the door. Him and Y/n headed over and began ripping off the rotten wood boards nailed over the entrance. They had one clean shot at the high rise, they couldn’t make any missteps.
They paused when Ellie approached, both of them wanting her to trust that they’d get her to safety.
“We’re gonna be okay,” Y/n said, trying to make herself believe it too.
“I know,” Ellie muttered, the levity of the past moment having disappeared.
Joel and Y/n’s gazes met, neither one sure of what there was to say. They were developing their language through their silence, the nail biting seconds between safety and risking their lives. It was a level they had never connected on, because there had never been a need.
“Let’s go,” Y/n said softly.
Inhaling, Joel opened the door and they filed out into the empty street, bolting for the building they hoped would shelter them…
—————————
The journey to the high rise didn’t go as easy as they’d hoped, having to dip and duck into abandoned shops and restaurants. With the dark having blanketed them on the way, their arrival felt like an even bigger win when they got there.
There was the small task of getting in to the building.
Joel, Ellie and Y/n stared up at the vent that would grant them access to unlock the door.
“Alright, short stack,” Y/n announced to Ellie, “You’re up.”
Ellie, eager to be a part in any way she could, stepped forward. Joel nabbed a loose piece of wood resting against the wall and handed it to her.
“We’ll brace you,” Joel said, “Be careful going through, could be a long drop.”
“Got it,” Ellie nodded.
Joel bent down, locking his hands together. “You’re just gonna put your foot there,” he instructed.
“Okay,” Ellie breathed. Y/n was standing by, waiting to be needed.
“One, two,” Joel counted before lifting Ellie up.
“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” the girl said, panicked. Y/n jumped in and steadied her hips.
“Straighten up,” Joel directed, “I got you.”
Ellie stiffened her body, getting traction in the safety of Y/n and Joel’s arms, and rammed the wood into the vent. It clattered to the building’s floor. Joel and Y/n helped thread her through the hole, dusting off their hands after.
“Okay, I’m in,” Ellie called.
“Take a look around first,” Joel told her, the sound of her sneakers hitting the floor defiantly, “Ellie!”
“Come on,” Y/n grumbled, following the clattering noises Ellie made straight to the door. It swung open.
“Where would you be without me, huh?” Ellie asked proudly.
“By now, Wyoming,” Joel replied as he and Y/n walked through.
“Oh, yeah,” Ellie admitted, “Walked into that one.”
They carefully made their way through the mess-ridden building, it looked like it had once been a loading dock. A stray car, multiple signs on the walls with instructions and packing materials scattered across the floor.
“All right, we’ll make our way up,” Joel laid out the plan, “And come morning, I’ll take a look at the city and find our way out.”
Y/n walked ahead and pushed open the door that led to the stairs, Joel shining his light behind her.
“We’re going up 42 flights?” Ellie asked.
“45,” Joel answered, flicking the light upward to reveal the dauntingly tall structure, “But no, not all the way.”
“How far then?” Y/n asked.
Joel heavily sighed, “As far as I can make it.”
Ellie laughed while Y/n rolled her eyes, their fate was to be determined by Joel’s knees.
The cockiness should have been saved for later, or ignored entirely.
After the tenth flight, Y/n was huffing and puffing along with Joel. Years of fighting and manual labor hadn’t been kind to either of them, but the day’s exhausting circumstances weren’t helping.
“Not so easy, is it?” Joel quipped, following Y/n’s panting, hunched over form.
“Fuck…” Y/n drew a deep breath as she turned another corner, “You…Miller.”
“Hey, you know that guy who said he was hurt?” Ellie asked, changing the subject, “How did you guys know it was an ambush?”
Joel and Y/n paused on their respective steps, feeling weight drop on them for different reasons.
“I can’t speak for him,” Y/n answered, drawing a breath, “But when I made my way up to Boston, there were all sorts of people trying all sorts of things. Stories get through the QZ too. People saying that they lost loved ones to raiders…” Y/n shook her head, “It’s a fucking disgusting business.”
Joel almost grimaced, resting against the railing. How the hell was he supposed to answer now?
“I’ve been on both sides,” he admitted, “It was a long time ago, we did what we needed to survive.”
“You and Tess?” Ellie asked.
“And the people we were with,” Joel continued, not knowing which bit of what he was about to say would affect Y/n more, “My brother, too.”
Y/n was braced against the railing, gripping the bar so tight she knew her knuckles were white. Joel was different now, a completely transformed man from the one she’d known. She had watched him kill, torture and separate entirely from his heart. But much like when he beat up the FEDRA guard back in the QZ, there was a part of her that didn’t want to believe the man she’d loved was fully gone.
Maybe it was inevitable. Maybe no one could stay pure in a world of bloodshed.
“Did you kill innocent people?”
Ellie’s question gave Y/n the burst of energy she needed to get up the next flight of stairs and she fled the conversation
The thing about knowing someone better than you know yourself is that the connection is forever. No matter how many changes either person goes through, no matter how much life beats them down and time rusts them…there are inherent pieces of their personality that remain the same. In each footstep that carried Y/n up the stairs, Joel felt the shame of his past choices ache a little more inside his soul. Somewhere, six layers underneath her bitterness, lay the heart of a woman who wouldn’t naturally hurt a fly. And here he was, having undergone a hideous transformation that could have given fairytales a run for their money.
If Y/n was a gentle sweep of rain, Joel was a hurricane, bringing death and destruction wherever he went.
“C’mon,” he said to Ellie, the only answer he could manage.
They climbed a little longer before Joel called out to Y/n, one flight above them. “Stop.”
Y/n paused, reluctantly descending to meet them where they were. Joel opened the door to their designated floor, out of breath and willpower.
“Holy shit,” Ellie breathed, short on oxygen, but better than Y/n or Joel.
Joel backed up against the wall, sliding down to the floor in exhaustion. “Yeah.”
“Thirty three floors,” Ellie continued cheerily, “That’s good.”
Y/n was bent over, bracing herself against her knees as she tried to catch her breath.
“It’s gonna have to be,” Joel panted.
Ellie extended a hand to him, “Come on.”
“Gimme a minute,” he complained, he wasn’t even sure he could move.
Ellie wasn’t having any of it, she knew what would motivate Joel. “Get up, you lazy ass.”
Y/n snorted, earning a glare from Joel. She didn’t shy away from staring back at him.
Joel reached up and took Ellie’s outstretched palm, “Lazy ass,” he grumbled, walking past both girls, “Fifty six years old, you little shit.”
Ellie laughed, Y/n patting her on the back as she walked past.
Joel grabbed a fire extinguisher from the wall and rammed it into the glass door of one of the apartments. He let Y/n and Ellie in first before entering himself.
“Oh, sweet,” Ellie exclaimed, dropping her backpack in the middle of the room, “There’s a couch.”
“Hallelujah,” Y/n replied, setting her bag down as well, while Ellie began rounding up the cushions.
Joel pulled out a drawer form one of the cabinets, carefully collecting the glass shards he’d created and shaking them across the floor. Y/n acknowledged it was a good idea, a makeshift alarm system, while she helped Ellie build their beds.
“Joel,” Ellie called, confused as to what she was watching. He didn’t reply. “Joel…”
Y/n spoke up, “Joel.”
He turned quickly, “What?”
“What are you doing?” Ellie asked.
“I don’t want someone sneakin’ up on us while we’re sleepin’,” he explained.
“Oh,” Ellie elongated, “I get it. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Are you sure you’re gonna hear it?”
“Of course I’ll hear it,” Joel replied, impatiently, “That’s the damn point.”
“Okay,” Ellie said, laying down on her couch cushion bed.
The dilemma Y/n faced was simple: two beds, three people. The easiest thing was to share with Ellie, which she was on her way to do when Ellie starfished, blocking any extra room she had.
“Come on,” Y/n urged, nudging the bottom cushion with her boot, “I’m exhausted.”
“There’s a perfectly good bed over there,” she nodded towards Joel’s section of the floor.
The ex-lover’s eyes met, panic in their gazes.
“Absolutely not,” Y/n stated, turning back to Ellie.
“Why?” Ellie replied, faux innocence in her tone and a smirk on her face, “Shouldn’t be a problem if you two are getting along.”
Every part of Y/n’s body wanted to jump through the apartment’s window and take her chances leaping to her death. Anything was preferable to sharing a bed with Joel again.
Joel felt the same way, he didn’t need to feel any more confused around Y/n than he already was. Laying beside her again would just be another punishment from some higher power.
“I’ll take the floor,” Joel reluctantly offered.
“What, so we have to listen to you complain about your back all day?” Y/n replied, “No, I’ll take the floor.”
“You’re gonna be fuckin’ miserable if you do,” Joel brought up, “And you’ll slow us down.”
Y/n paused, taking a deep breath, trying to get over herself enough to realize Joel was right. They both needed rest.
“Fine,” she conceded, “Back to back.”
Joel nodded, the two of them kneeling down beside the cushions and balling up their jackets.
It was an awkawrd dance, trying to maneuver themselves onto the narrow bed without touching too much. Y/n had to wiggle around, clinging to the edge of the cushion so she wouldn’t fall off. Inevitably, the entirety of their bodies ended up pressed together like magazine pages. Twenty years ago, it was the moment where one of them would flip over and wrap their arms around the other as they drifted off to sleep. Now, they lay stiff as boards, trying not to set off any memories or sensations.
“Well, goodnight,” Ellie said, comfortably curled up in a ball.
“Yeah, goodnight,” Joel grunted.
“Goodnight,” Y/n was facing Ellie and her smirk, “You little shit.”
Joel shut his eyes, trying to force himself to fall asleep quickly. But there was an unfinished part of his day that he couldn’t let go of.
“Ellie,” he called.
“Yeah?”
“When we were talkin’ about hurtin’ people,” he recalled, “What did you mean it wasn’t your first time?”
Ellie stiffened, rolling over onto her back, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
Y/n watched the girl’s countenance change, for as much as they’d gotten to know each other the last few weeks, they didn’t actually know anything. There was blood on both their hands and Ellie wanted the dark of night to hide hers. Y/n couldn’t blame her.
“All right,” Joel conceded, only for a second, before rolling over on his other side. Y/n could feel him shift and knew he was trying to face Ellie. She flipped onto her back so he could see across the room.
“You don’t have to,” Joel continued, trying to keep his body as compact as possible, “Just sayin’…it isn’t fair, your age…havin’ to deal with all this.”
Y/n tried to steady her inhale, Joel’s warm breath fanned over her face, setting her nerve endings alight. The window idea was looking better and better…
Ellie turned her head to face the adults, “So it gets easier when you get older?”
“It never gets easier,” Y/n spoke up, attempting to release some of the pressure inside her from her own sins, “It just…you shouldn’t have to deal with this stuff yet.”
Joel’s eyes traveled over Y/n’s face, seeing all the pieces of her he couldn’t recognize. There were two decades of her life he had been absent for. Just as he carried stories and scars earned over time, she did too. It still hurt to see her hurt.
“The reason I asked whether you’d hear the glass or not,” Ellie flipped over to face Joel and Y/n, “Is ‘cause I’ve noticed you don’t hear too well from your right side. Is it cause you were shot there?”
Y/n twisted her head to get a look at Joel’s ear. She’s gathered enough information to make an educated guess, but years of fighting had taught her that it took more than one bullet to take out someone’s hearing.
Joel glanced down at Y/n, their breaths mingling in the small space left between them. It would have been so easy to lean down, or even just touch her cheek. Such intimacies belonged in their past life, but Joel could feel his resolve slipping with each second he spent in bed with her.
Y/n felt the draw too. She felt weak for admitting that through her anger, she was still as drawn to Joel as she had been the night they’d met. He may have changed in every way conceivable, but with the small taste she was getting of his body, she knew his firm frame was the same as she remembered. Something about that tortured Y/n more than if he’d completely transformed.
They were wading in dangerous waters.
“Probably more from shootin’,” Joel answered, swallowing hard and turning back over on his side, “So if you wanna keep your hearin’, you stick to that knife.”
The action of moving brought Y/n out of whatever trance she’d been in. She felt fucking weak, feeling any sort of attraction to the man who’d broken her heart. Rolling back onto her side, she shut her eyes and tried to calm her body down.
“Joel,” Ellie said softly, “Y/n.”
They answered at the same time, “Hm?”
“Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?”
Y/n carefully moved the sleeve of her jacket to block her twitching mouth.
Joel barely turned over, “What?”
“Yeah,” Ellie replied, “It runs in your jeans.”
He twisted to get a look at Ellie, who was smirking at them both, and fell back onto his side.
Y/n was desperately trying to contain her giggling, practically holding her breath.
Facing away from them, Joel smirked and muttered something to himself. A whisper of a chortle escaped him. “That is so damn stupid,” he admonished.
“You laughed, motherfucker,” Ellie giggled.
“I didn’t laugh,” Joel shot back.
“Yes, you did,” Ellie replied.
“I’m losin’ it.”
“You’re losin’ it big time,” Ellie grinned.
Y/n snorted, unable to hold it in any longer.
“I knew it would work again,” Ellie exclaimed, lording the two-time award winning joke over Y/n’s head. It was the only one in the book that got her to crack.
“It’s so fucking stupid,” Y/n laughed, digging her entire face into her jacket.
All it took was hearing the sweet melody again, and Joel was pushed over the edge. He had been on pins and needles since meeting her again, naturally waiting to hear Y/n laugh again. In their life, circumstances didn’t occur often that gave you the opportunity to find humor. He’d accepted he may never hear it again. And now, with her back shaking against his, he couldn’t stop himself from joining in.
As soon as Joel’s shakes being to reverberate off her body, Y/n felt a wave of grief and relief come over her. To hear his giggles, a sound only she’d ever been privy to, felt like coming home after a long day. She wanted to fight it, to rage against all pleasant memories of him, but she wanted a moment of peace more. She wanted to laugh.
Ellie was the loudest of them all, reigning victorious over Joel and Y/n’s stubbornness. It was so needed after the day they’d had.
“Go to sleep,” Joel said, his chuckle contradicting his order.
“You go to sleep,” Ellie laughed, rolling on her bed.
“Both of you go to sleep,” Y/n snorted, her voice lighting up the darkest parts of Joel.
There were two more rounds of giggling, one started by Ellie and one by Y/n. Joel couldn’t stop from joining both. It was the first moment of joy, true joy, that he’d felt in twenty years.
——————
At some point in their sleep, Y/n and Joel inevitably turned over. Y/n had been keeping her hands close to her chest, cradling the injured one. And somewhere in the timeline of the evening, Joel had unconsciously reached over and placed one of his hands over them both. How he blindly found it, how he knew she was trying to protect it, those answers belonged to the blanket of night. But Joel’s fingers wrapped around her bloody fist, protecting her even in his sleep.
He had also rolled over on his good ear.
“Y/n…Y/n.”
Y/n jumped at the call of her name, looking down at her and Joel’s intertwined hands and pulling back. She twisted onto her back, jumping back at the sight of the child standing over her, pointing a gun at them. Her peripheral vision caught Ellie with her hands up in surrender and a man with his own weapon aimed at her.
“Joel,” Y/n raised her hands, kicking her ex in the shin, “Joel!”
He startled awake.
——————
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2K notes · View notes
luvrxbunny · 6 months
Note
I need something borderline illegal. Like dark and twisted. Like I want to question my moral compass but read on.
Am I asking for dad’s best friend!Joel? pshhhhhh. Am I asking for bratty! reader?? Pshhhhhh. Am I asking for anything???
Am I asking for smutty smut?! Yes I am.
Ofc if you are uncomfortable with any of these don’t hesitate to ignore this and also no pressure ily ❤️
a/n: reader isn't bratty, im sorry! i forgot :((
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sleep
pairing: dbf!Joel Miller x f!virgin!reader
summary: Joel can’t stay away from you any longer.  
warnings: 18+ MDNI, alcohol, voyeurism/somnophilia + dub-con, dry humping, cum in pants
wc: 4.0k
a/n: i hope this is dark enough!! the only reason the ask is a ss instead of the actual thing is cus i formatted the whole story then realized i forgot to put it in the reply to the ask (loosely proofread)
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It’s 2 am and Joel can’t stop thinking about you. How you’re sleeping soundly in his room, in his bed, in his shirt as pajamas because you had “forgotten to pack some”, something you both knew was a lie. He knows you’re toying with him, you started a bit before, but since you’ve turned 18? It's just been on rapid fire. 
He pulls out his phone and scrolls through your text thread, scoffing at every other conversation. It was so apparent, in every text, how badly you want him. 
Mon, Aug 16 at 4:41 AM
bbg: big man! text me when u wake up i have a joke
You: Why are you awake at this time?
bbg: wtf why are YOU awake 🤨 
You: I have trouble sleeping, you know that.
bbg: aww poor joey 😢
You: Are you going to answer my question, darling?
bbg: im doing skincare and stuff
You: You have to wake up this early for that stuff?
bbg: can’t put a price on feeling bonita 
You: Why are you speaking Spanish now?
bbg: nevermind lmao
bbg: so have u tried meditation
You: What?
bbg: for your sleeping troubles
You: I’m not that kind of guy.
bbg: what about getting off
You: Excuse me? 
bbg: like masturbation n stuff
You: I know what you’re saying.
You: I don’t understand why you’re talking about this with me.
bbg: we haven’t even talked about it 😭 
bbg: obviously we can end the convo if ur uncomfy but its a very good way to fall asleep
He remembers needing a pause after he read that text for the first time. It had only been four months since your birthday and you were already drastically different. Joel never expected it, he always thought your feelings had already reached their limit but it turns out you were holding back because you weren’t of age. Now that you are… He doesn’t know what he’s going to do. His morals may not be strong enough for the thought of  “ his best friend's daughter” to hold him back. He’s already rationalized himself out of the “daughter's best friend” thought. You’re not even going to school together anymore. Sarah lives on campus so you guys never see each other and you barely ever text. 
You: I have not.
bbg: what? literally how? 
bbg: you should
bbg: it totally works
You: That’s good to know. 
You: Get back to your skincare, honey. I’ll message you later. 
Mon, Aug 16 at 5:03 AM
bbg: joel? 
Mon, Aug 16 at 5:37 AM
bbg: are you masturbating? 
You: Sweetheart. You can’t ask me things like that. It’s not right.
bbg: u didnt answer! i got curious
You: Still.
bbg: i dont see the problem we’re both adults 🫢
You: Barely.
bbg: dont be mean
You: Do you need something
You: I said I’d text you later
bbg: wow no punctuation?
You: Busy
bbg: getting off? 
He remembers staring at your text, unbelieving that you’d send him something like that, so forward, so dirty. He remembers the thought that you were joking. Obviously, you don’t expect him to say yes, that’s why you asked in the first place. Maybe his perverted mind was interpreting your behavior as flirting but you’re just being yourself around him. All these thoughts were swirling in his head but the feeling of his hand flying over his cock, pretending it’s yours, that you're in his ear whispering to him... That thought was stronger, that feeling was stronger. 
You: Yes.
bbg: good. have fun, joey
He gets up for his fourth beer, hoping to drown the impure thoughts, starring you, that plague his mind. It’d be so easy to have you, you’ve been throwing yourself at him since you turned 17. He’s been ignoring it, adamantly. It wasn’t right, despite the age difference, the fact that you’re his daughter’s best friend and his best friend’s daughter. On top of that, you only just turned 18. 
You’ve been staying at Joel’s for a month. He takes the guest room because you say that his bed is better. You haven’t gone home because your dad is still working on your birthday present/room renovations and he doesn't want you to see it until it’s done. He offered up Joel’s house to keep you, knowing his best friend wouldn't mind, unknowing that his best friend was corrupt for his daughter. 
Joel was trying to ignore the way his body was heating up, still scrolling through the texts. He remembers that conversation perfectly. He remembers the adrenaline that was coursing through him as he confessed. He remembers how hard he came at your response. When thinking about this conversation he also remembers the guilt, it’s the most vivid emotion he remembers, usually. But the alcohol seems to be drowning that part out, and Joel scrolls on. 
He finds a patch of texts that he actively avoids, usually. It’s picture after picture of you in the most adorable outfits in the most suggestive positions. There are plenty of you lying on your back, some with your head turned to show off your perfectly curved, unmarked, un-bitten, neck. There are a few where you’re sitting down with the camera angled up, giving Joel too many situations his head can come up with. Then there’s the worst one, his favorite- he doesn’t even know how you took this one. You’re sitting on your knees, hands rested on your thighs and you’re looking up at the camera with a shy smile. 
There are two things about this photo that really fuck him up. 
First, your smile, the way it lets him know that you’re trying to fuck him up, you know what you’re doing with this pose, this positioning, you’re even embarrassed by it, a little nervous about it but you still felt the need to take the photo, for him. 
Second, the height, and the way the camera is positioned shows him that these photos were specifically crafted for him because the height the camera is at is exactly how he’d see you if you were on your knees like that for him. 
You made sure that he noticed because the very next day, you needed him to tie a bow in your hair and instead of waiting for him to get off the couch you placed yourself on the ground, between his legs, in this pose. He had to hide his erection until you left and then fight the urge to get himself off in your room for the rest of the night. 
He glances at his room door, you’re sleeping so soundly in there.
She wouldn’t even notice if someone went in there right now. She definitely wouldn’t notice me… Hell, as if she’d mind either way… I mean- Would she?
The alcohol clouds his thoughts, gives him bad ideas, and then convinces him that they’re good- this one being one of them. He grabs his almost-finished beer and heads to the fridge to grab a fifth one, knowing he’ll be in there for a while. 
He does this sometimes, you look so peaceful when you sleep… it’s the only time he can admire you without putting all his relationships at risk. He reaches the door and turns the knob slowly to avoid creaking. He enters the room, his socks padding his footsteps, and the darkness gives him no shadow. He moves one of your tops off of his desk chair and turns it to face your sleeping figure while placing his beers down. You’re already bringing a smile to his face. You’ve got your face shoved into one of his pillows, your arm tucked under it, and your leg is pulled up to your waist, sticking out from under his tan comforter. You’re wearing one of his hoodies for sleepwear—
Fuck.
and it doesn’t look like you have anything on your bottom half. It’s a little cold in his room so little goosebumps have bloomed over your exposed skin. He takes a swig of beer, finishing his fourth as he examines you. Your face twitches for a moment, your eyebrows furrow, and your nose twitches like a rabbit before calming back down. He opens the other beer and fills his mouth with it, hoping that the alcohol stops the fluttering in his stomach while he drinks it down. 
You shiver a bit but your leg doesn’t move, the goosebumps just become more prominent. His hand is reaching out for you before he can think, rubbing your calf gently to soothe and warm you up a bit. You let out a relieved sigh at his contact and your leg presses further into his warmth. He has to take a deep breath as his mind runs wild, convincing him that this is some sort of sign, that even in you’re sleep you’re trying to be closer to him, that he should just give in. 
No, she’s your best friend's daughter. Sure she’s her own person now, legally an adult, an’ can make decisions for herself… an’ yeah she’s not owned or controlled by anyone and just cause I’m friends with her father ain’t a fair reason to completely rule her out from being a potential partner… Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad… maybe it’s actually more fucked up for me to avoid her just cause of who birthed her. That’s totally not fair to her! I mean I know I wouldn't want anyone judging me based on who my parents are y’know? Maybe I should put myself in her shoes. 
His breathing speeds up as he breaks through his last piece of resistance. Now he’s just trying to figure out how soon he can have you. 
I’ll have to court her first, flirt with her a bit before asking her out to dinner, then maybe she’ll accept my offer to be my girlfriend by the third date… From there maybe she’ll have sex with me for the three-month anniversary… she might be a bit more timid than that but we’re looking at a four- five-month plan… That can work- I can definitely work with that.
You whine and stretch your body, your legs straighten and your arms spread out, you turn and rest one arm on top of your head before you lift your leg, bending it above your waist but with the other one this time. The new position leaves the blanket covering nothing but one of your inner thighs and to add insult to injury your raised arms lift his hoodie, revealing a beautiful sliver of your stomach. 
Or I could have her now.
The thought is too powerful to stop, his opportunity is too perfect, Ellie is out with whatever girl she’s currently entertaining, and Sarah doesn’t live here anymore. Your father would never be awake at this time and Joel is hard, wanting, and so so ready for you. He’s crawling into bed beside you after downing half his beer for the nerves. 
He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t. 
He settles next to you and your leg presses into him again, searching for him and his warmth. You slowly turn to him as he stares at you, watching how sluggish your movements are in your sleep. You snuggle into the pillow in front of him and take a long inhale of its scent, a little smile resting on your lips while you breathe out. Your face is inches from his, and his hand is down his pants in an instant. 
The relief is heavenly, he’s been throbbing for you since he read those texts. He can’t help the way he reacts to you. He can smell your toothpaste on your breath as you gently snore in front of him. He wraps his warm hand around his cock and his soft lips part into an ‘O’. His eyes roll back for a second but he immediately focuses them back on you. He’s tugging at himself violently, not even thinking about savoring this moment, just needing to cum for you. He’s trying to hold in his sounds but you look so pretty, just seeing your face while he’s touching himself makes everything better, somehow you’ve turned his sensitivity as high as it can go.
Little whines and whimpers slip into your dream state. You’re confused by the sound, the rustling that coming from—? In front of you? Your brows furrow as you try to open your eyes. “Fuck” You hear someone say. It sounds like… 
You open your eyes just in time to see Joel yank his hand out of his sweatpants and scramble as far as he can get from you before falling off the bed. You’re still confused as you take his form in. His shirt has ridden up a bit, exposing the salt and pepper hairs on his tummy. His hair is sticking all over the place, he stinks of beer, and his eyes are wide, focused on you. “Joey?”
Despite the horrid situation he’s in, his cock is still leaking for you, pulsing at the nickname. He can’t answer, he has to bite back a moan as he feels himself leak into the fabric of his pants. “Joel? What—” Your eyes flutter, almost falling shut but you shake yourself out of it and— Fuck.
You move closer to him. 
You’re too snuggly when you’re sleeping, too cute, and too dumb. You’re not even questioning why your father’s best friend was in bed with you while you were sleeping. You don't want to risk him leaving and you don’t mind in the first place, you actually thought you were dreaming at first. Your heart almost stopped when your fingers actually latched onto his shirt after reaching out for him. He’s stiff as a board, deterring your touch so you pull your hands into your chest and bury your face in his. 
Joel is almost shaking in exertion as you press your soft little body against his. It’s just your upper half, leaning into him and finding wam solace in his chest. He can handle this, he thinks. He can calm down, and be with you like this. He’s supposed to court you first anyway, he can’t believe himself. Was he really going to just get off with you in the same bed? What kind of pervert would even try something like that?
You hike your leg up over his waist, half asleep, not realizing your motions. 
All his perverted feelings return with a vengeance. 
You wiggle around a bit, trying to get comfortable but his cock twitches, flicking into your soft lips for a moment. At first, you really didn’t know what it was, all you knew was that the sensation felt good. So of course you chased it. Your hips grind into his cock arrhythmically, trying to find that same angle again, not realizing that you’re basically fucking him through your clothes. His hands have to come to your hips, gripping painfully for your eyes to snap open and your hips to freeze. 
Your eyes widen further when you finally process the situation, and even in all your teasing and sensuality, at the end of the day, you’re still just a virgin. You never had any real intention of acting on your desires, especially if Joel wasn’t the one initiating. 
Oh fuck. What did I do? What do I do? He’s just staring at me… Maybe he didn’t notice, I didn’t! But it felt so good. Will he let me? Maybe if I—
Your hips tilt into his before you can process whether this is actually a good idea or not. His hand tense over yours, like another shock of clarity through your bones. You shut your eyes tight, not wanting to see the disgust or uncomfortable pity in his face. “I’m so sorry, Joel. I didn’t… I-”
You try not to let tears well in your eyes as you whimper and pull back from him. But he doesn’t let you. His arms tense, his muscles flexing as he keeps your body pressed against his. You open your eyes, a bit shocked at his refusal to let you go but still too scared to meet his eyes. Your gaze is on his stomach, the way his gray shirt rode up, exposing the way his belly keeps tensing with every breath. “I-” He manages to get out before letting out a shuddering sigh. You finally look at him. 
His eyebrows are pulled taut in between his eyes, his gaze is something you’ve never seen before, and he almost looks angry. It’s desperate, but sorrowful, with the added haze from his intoxication. He keeps biting at his bottom lip, worrying it red as he tries to form a sentence for you. His hands tense over your hips again but this time they tilt you into him again. His face is a hard grimace as he slowly presses you into his raging bulge. You watch him fight with his expression, it keeps breaking into something weak before he goes back to his angry pout. You can’t help the way you press into him, you want to feel it again, that fire in the pit of your stomach that spreads to your soaking pussy the more he pulls you in. You watch his face contort into something heavenly. His brows pull up, almost shocked at how good you feel as his eyes roll back and shut. His entire body shakes as he melts into the pillow. He’s breathing deep and slowly, trying to regulate the pleasure he feels. 
Now he’s focused on savoring the moment. He wants this to last as long as it possibly can. You’re making him feel incredible,  he’s so sensitive, it’s like he’s been edging himself for you. You whimper, high-pitched and muffled but it’s so beautiful that he forces his eyes open. You have one hand gripping the bedsheet like it’s your lifeline and you have the other bitten between your teeth to hold your sounds in. Your hips are grinding into him at an uneven, unsteady, desperate pace and he’s mesmerized by the sight.
He knew you wanted him. He didn’t know you needed him. You’re fucking yourself against his cock like you’ve been waiting for it your whole life. Your hand comes up to grip his shoulder instead of the bedsheet. He grunts and tilts his hips further into yours, a sadistic smirk coming to his face at the sound of exclamation that shoots from your mouth once you’re able to grind your clit against his shaft. Your thrusts start to stutter at that, your body constantly wanting to fold in on itself from the assault of pleasure but you try and will yourself to keep going. 
Unfortunately, your pace is ruined by your pleasure. Your sensitive body can’t handle how good his clothed cock is making you feel. You lose your pace and your pleasure becomes rocky and teasing. He watches as your face changes from pleasured to pouty. Little whimpers and whines of frustration slip from your lips, growing in volume and frequency the longer you’re unable to grind against him properly. Joel’s watching you through hooded eyes, fingers digging into your hips painfully at this point and all he wants is to not cum yet. He wants to make you cum first, he needs it, he needs to see it, to hear it. 
He’s been telling himself it’s fine because you’re grinding against him, not the other way around. You’re choosing this, there’s no way he’s manipulating you, or swaying your decision if he stays completely indifferent. But you’re begging him now. You’re gripping desperately at his shirt, removing your hand from your mouth to grip him harder and pulling yourself closer, wrapping your arms around and moaning right against his chest. He shouldn’t. He can’t. But he does.
His eyes shut tight as his hands leave your hips. You almost climb on top of him in protest, whining a loud “N- Please.” into his chest as your leg hikes higher onto his waist. One of his hands cradles your head, pulling you further into his chest, muffling the moans you’re already letting out at his touch. His other hand goes to the small of your back, pressing you against him perfectly and guiding your rhythm as your hips start up again. He dares to speak. “S’this okay, baby?”
Your reaction to his voice is visceral. Your hands shoot up to his shoulder and hair, pulling yourself up a bit to bury in his neck, getting a new angle from his cock, now fucking him against your leaking hole. “So good, Joey. Thank- Thank you s’much. Thank you, thank you.” Your gratitude is like a searing knife through him. His entire body is set alight as he tries to regulate his breathing. He can feel goosebumps break out on his skin, his pleasure filling every molecule in his body, ready to overflow for you. Fuck. He’s definitely going to cum before you. 
“Mm. Good, good girl. Just- Keep going, sweetness, take what— Shit. Take what you need, darlin’.” His breathing quickens and shudders as your hips increase their pace against him. He’s leaking continuously now, he’s getting in his head, trying to stop himself from cumming but every thought that pops into his mind just brings him closer to the edge. He can’t focus on anything but you. You’re moaning for him, grinding against him, this desperate for him. 
The hand on your lower back migrates to the back of your neck, gripping you there, holding you in place as his hips begin to thrust into yours. “M’gonna cum, darlin’. Fuck, I wanted t- wanted to last for y- Mmm oh fuck.” His entire body starts to tremble as your nails dig into him so painfully he’s sure they drew blood. Your eyes are comically wide as your body tenses in his hold before breaking down into a shudder that overtakes your entire being. You’re cumming. 
He explodes at the realization. In all his desperation, intoxication, and pure need… He was still able to make you cum first. He buries his face in your hair, huffing the scent as he floods his sweatpants. His eyes shut as tightly as they can as his orgasm tears through him. He’s been waiting so long for you to make him cum and now that it’s happening, it feels even better than he planned for. His low grunts turn into shocked moans when his orgasm doesn’t stop after shooting two ropes of cum against his sweats. You’re already coming down as he hits what feels like his second peak. You can feel his hands shaking over where they’re gripping you and you get an impulse that you act on without a second thought. 
Your hand slides down from his shoulder quickly, over the sliver of stomach he’s showing off, and right down his pants. You don’t know what you’re doing so you just grip him, wrapping your hand around his shaft but it seems to do the trick. He lets out a sound that resembles someone getting kicked in the gut. His face is pulled from your hair as his head is thrown back. He arches into you a bit before his hips start thrusting into your fist, desperately prolonging his already overwhelming orgasm. It’s embarrassing; how long he was cumming for, the way his body was violently quivering for you, the ludicrously large dark spot spreading over his pants, showcasing how much he came for you. 
He moans gently when he comes to. You’re stroking over his chest with a soft, sleepy, nervous smile. He pulls you in for a kiss before he can think about it. You guys haven’t discussed anything. Neither of you knows what this means for your relationship but you know that neither of you has felt more comfortable than when you’re in the arms of the other. So why question it now? 
You fall into a deep sleep listening to Joel’s heavy snores, getting rocked to bed by the way his chest expands. It’s the best sleep of your life. 
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thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist!
psst psst. hey you!! i have a part 2 if u want 😏
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326 notes · View notes
tiyoin · 2 months
Note
Now I'm thinking about twisted anxiety reader being able to sing really well. I feel like there could be some very interesting/funny moments (4 us not reader).
Reader probably only sings in a reclusive area like a forest around the dorm
I wanna say that the forest already has haunting rumors about it ,and when someone (jade or rook) hears reader singing they think that the "ghost" is up and active again. So students start doing a "test of courage" type thing.
I put Jade or Rook being the one to hear reader cuz they're really the only ones that would really be in that area without a reason.
I also know they're intelligent enough to know it's not a ghost ,but start the rumor anyways cuz they want to know who's singing. And it becomes this big thing the school trying to figure out.
Cut to reader losing her mind cuz she like "wow, I didn't know people thought it was that bad. How am I supposed to live, laugh, love ever again??"
When in reality they were just memorized by reader's singing. And they really want to find out who it is.
Bonus points if they film it and sent it to the group chat you posted about earlier. And reader just has to be like 🧍‍♀️ "whattt???? No way!! 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ a random voice in the woods 😱😱"
I'm sorry for sending 2 long asks back 2 back ,but twisted anxiety just gets my head going.
Also if you don't like being sent stuff like this just tell me and I won't send any more. I don't want to over step at all. These are just like head cannons I give to reader ,cuz I just love making things worse for her. Can't let her know what peace is
YOU
hOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN MY HEAD 🫵
i’m going to give you the fattest smooch alive you don’t understand. AND I LOVE IT WHEN I GET LONG ASKS!!! so please! ask away i don’t mind, i actually get really flattered that people want to share with me their long, detailed thoughts !! i was actually nervous people wouldn’t like my long responses 😖
no cause that’s ALWAYS one troupe i ALWAYS go back to.
i was thinking about making them a singer, REALLY I WAS- but i had second thoughts cause i thought people wouldn’t like it / maybe people would think its too… y-nie or im trying to make twisted anxiety reader too much, ya know
BUT OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU MEAH MWAH (also dw i got your other ask and fully plan on answering it, this one was just at the top of my inbox 🫶🫶)
but oh my god,,,, HEAR ME OUT;
twisted anxiety reader getting pent up because they. have. no. outlet.
none.
maybe they played a sport in their old world, but no longer can’t because seriously?? going up against beastmen, mermen, fae and just,,, men?! absolutely not.
they can’t do anything fun in ramshackle because of the ghosts can and will find a way to stick their noses into your business. also hello??? no privacy at ramshackle👎👎
honestly, twisted anxiety reader doesn’t have any friends so they can’t blow off steam that way either. and going to the gym is out of the question because 1. anxiety 2.gym bros- and working out at home is… different.
so there has to be a way to let off steam… good thing twisted anxiety reader dilly dallied in everything!!
they want to sing but aren’t confident enough to join the pop music club, and the walls to ramshackle are paper thin.
there’s absolutely no where you can go.
and yet… every time you glance at the forest. you can’t help but wonder…🤔
AND IVE ALWAYS IMAGINED READER SINGING
“everything stays” from adventure time
“love all mine” by mitski
“rises the moon” by liana flores
“sky fall” by adele
“memory” from cats
“listen” by beyoncé
“hopelessly devoted” by olivia newton-john
oh my god i have to make a separate post for this before i completely rot and accidentally write a whole chapter because i’ve been WAITING to write about this and i’d feel bad about making this SUPER LONG
but i can’t imagine rook going for a sunset “hike” (…sure, let’s go with that) and hearing you. belting your little heart to “hopelessly devoted” HAGFJAIWOFOSOWOFOAPEIFOZOQFOXOD
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ROOK IS AWE STRUCK
such passion! such devotion! how marvelously beautiful! rook is stunned.
of course after you finish singing he can hear you moan and groan about trivial things but- rook hunt was not a hunt if he didn’t appreciate the gift the forest provided.
and yet, the carful hunter made a careless mistake. cursing silently, he glared at the twig his boots stepped on before he snapped his head up to the clearing up ahead.
ah, you fled.
to say rook was… upset was an understatement. yes he was able to marvel in your voice, but he lost the privilege to listen to more, to observe from afar.
the strange songs you sang and possibly wrote (what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him) are gone with the wind and the high step of your foot as you vanished into thin air.
rook could easily hunt you down, but he stopped himself after a slight muscle twitch. non non! he was the enjoyer of beauty! not the hunter! yes he hunted beauty but it would go against his very being to trap it instead of let it fly free and continue its song.
so let this be your little secret, okay.
jade would def walk into you singing ‘everything stays’
OR OR ROOK N JADE BOTH TAG TEAMING READER IN THE CHAT SAYING HOW THEY WISH TO MEET THIS BEAUTIFUL VOICED GOREST ‘NYMPH’ SO THEY CAN HEAR MORE OF THEIR SONGS
readers just like;
😟
“time to find a new location☝️”
*there’s no where those two won’t be able to find you fyi*
TWISTED ANXIETY READER WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE‼️‼️ NOT AS LONG AS IM HERE‼️‼️
please send more headcanons i love reading them 🙇🏻🙇🏻
babes this is me n u rn:
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1d1195 · 4 months
Text
Dolcezza V
Read Dolcezza here.
Warnings: gonna have an angsty bit in here.
~6k words
“Y’don’t have t’feel embarrassed. Think s’pretty obvious I adore you. If y’want t’do this...” he moved his finger back and forth between them with his freehand. He squeezed her other one again. “S’all I can think ‘bout. Won’t take any convincing on my end. Whenever you’re ready, kitten, m’ready,” he promised and got out of the car.
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They were still parked, taking a breather as she hadn’t really had a moment to think since she started on her journey home after her car fiasco. Niall had sent Harry minimal updates. The car was being fixed; he had the key to her apartment in his locker at work. They sat holding hands in the driveway while she tried to figure out the remainder of her day. They had gotten to her mom and dad’s place around noon. It was nearing almost four. As much as the car fiasco caused a hiccup in her plans, she was making good time on all the tasks she needed to get done. The ladder to the attic and the lights would cause another hiccup though. Especially since it would be dark while taking the lights down.
Harry was silent while she thought. He could see her mind turning over and over. He imagined if she was attached to the tachometer, it would be at least 2000 revolutions per minute. That, he was sure. But he let her take her time thinking, he didn’t want to interrupt her deep thoughts.
Eventually, she sighed. “Fixing that ladder is going to be a pain,” she mumbled.
Harry thought so too. It would be small and cramped and not to mention heavy. “Do... do y’have t’fix it?” He asked. She turned to him and looked at him as if that was the dumbest question someone could ask. He smirked. “Sorry, what was I thinking,” he mumbled.
“I’m sorry,” she sighed and rubbed the palms of her hands against her temples. It wasn’t Harry’s fault that he asked that. It was kind of obvious that she should just go home and leave her more than capable family to deal with it. “I know... I know I’m a little crazy and I do too much but—”
Harry shook his head and grabbed the hand closest to him. He threaded his fingers through hers, brought them to his lips. He brushed his mouth over her knuckles lingering on the middle one and peppering kisses down the length of it before placing a longer kiss on the back of her hand. She was watching him the whole time. Harry swore she gulped. They gazed at each other, and she couldn’t believe Harry liked her like that. Enough to kiss her in the middle of her crazy family’s house. Enough to run all kinds of errands with her for other family members. “You are anything but crazy, Principessa.”
“I can’t believe you still call me that,” she murmured. Her voice felt shaky. The kiss they shared in the kitchen was magical, otherworldly. But somehow, that kiss on her hand felt like it was connected right to her chest, a short wire that was pulling so hard and making her woozy.
He chuckled. “You should be treated like one,” he smiled, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She was certain all her organs melted into puddles inside her body. It was a miracle she remembered to breathe. A miracle she was still alive after that. “What she said was wrong,” he repeated. “Anyone... anyone who knows you the way I do,” he shook his head. “Y’have made m’life so much better, kitten. Antonio’s, Niall’s, Leo’s, I bet y’made Eleanor and Louis’ lives better too,” he murmured. “Your sister is young. S’not an excuse because it was mean,” he nodded. “She’ll appreciate it when she’s older,” he nodded.
She swallowed. “I am bossy,” she whispered.
He shook his head. “You’re caring.”
“I think it’s a large part of why my ex broke up with me,” she admitted.
He rolled his eyes. “Well, Principessa. That man is an idiot t’let y’get away,” he shrugged. “His opinion s’irrelevant,” he promised. She smirked, her gaze dropping from his eyes, and she looked at their hands intertwined, resting on the console between them.
“I like helping people. But...it comes off bossy—”
“La mia dolcezza, stop saying you’re bossy,” he shook his head. “Please,” he whispered.
“What did you call me?” She whispered breathlessly. Her cheeks were that beautiful pink he adored. His heart skipped a beat. His face warmed as he realized what he said. She remembered Harry telling Antonio’s story of how he named the restaurant. How he called his future wife the very same thing that Harry just said.
He cleared his throat awkwardly, worried that it was somehow too far. It rolled off his tongue. The same way Principessa and kitten did. It was the only thing to call her that made sense. Especially in a moment when she didn’t see how wonderful she was to everyone—especially Harry. He hoped she would see how lovely she was sooner rather than later. “My sweetness,” he murmured softly.
“I want to kiss you so bad,” she whispered in response.
He chuckled with slight relief flooding him. He used his freehand to cup her face and pressed another kiss to her forehead. “Soon, Principessa, soon,” he promised.
*
“What’s James like?”
“A little calmer than the rest of them,” she said as they walked up the path to his apartment. “Maybe it’s because we’re closer in age than Emma and I, but...I don’t know. James is a lot more understanding of me, I think...overall, anyway...” Harry grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. He nodded as if he hadn’t just completely changed the rhythm of her heart. She bit her lip and stopped abruptly in her path. He smiled at her, taking a moment to look at her pretty being. His lips tingled the second he caught a glimpse of hers.
It was incredible what she could do in a day. Niall and Harry were headed to the restaurant to do early morning prep work—or at least Niall was. But with no plans for his day off, Harry was going to go with him. He was so glad he did. But if she managed to do all of the things on her mental to do list in a day? Harry was in awe. “S’matter, Principessa?” He asked, cupping her cheek and rubbing his thumb on her skin softly.
“James... has a roommate. His best friend Ethan,” she explained. “Ethan has had a crush on me since he was in high school,” her cheeks warmed under his touch.
“Obviously,” he smirked.
“Harry,” she tried to look away as the warmth only amplified against his hand.
“Is Ethan going to be here?” He asked.
She nodded. “He’s... harmless. But... I don’t know how to say this without sounding arrogant or...”
“Kitten, ‘course he likes his best friend’s hot older sister. M’not going t’be jealous or whatever you’re worried ‘bout,” he smirked. “If he tries t’kiss you though, I might have uncontrollable actions,” he admitted almost sheepishly. “Those lips are mine, now,” he rubbed his thumb on her lower lip, and she felt it all the way to her core. Then it was over. He left her breathless. Part of her thought she blacked out for a moment and all he did was touch her lip with his thumb. It took her a moment to realize Harry was now, waiting by the door for her to follow.
She cleared her throat, stepped to the door, and knocked. They only waited a minute before the door was out of the way.
“Hey Sis,” the boy smiled brightly as he answered. He was a spitting image of her dad. The resemblance was less strong between him and her than that of her sister and mother, but it was obvious they were siblings.
“Hi,” she smiled and wrapped her arms around him. James made eye contact with Harry as he held onto his sister.
“Eleanor didn’t want to hang out with us?” He asked.
The poor thing.
She sighed, seeming more defeated but also ignoring the feeling anyway. “Eleanor moved,” she shook her head. “This is Harry,” she explained.
“S’nice to meet you,” Harry stuck his hand out for the last of her family to shake.
“You took him to Mom and Dad’s?” He asked in surprise as he nodded at Harry while shaking his hand. She ignored him and stepped inside. He whistled in appreciation. “I don’t take the girl I’m seeing there for at least three months.”
“That would require you could keep a girl for three months,” she muttered as she started cleaning up the dishes as she went through his living room. James rolled his eyes as Harry smirked. The playfulness, compared to the argument with her sister, was a lot more Harry’s speed. He thought it was a lot nicer on her gentle heart, too.
“Did I hear the love of my life?” A second man appeared in the room, shirtless. He was a little shorter than Harry but still taller than average. Harry couldn’t help but compare how he looked to himself. He was probably attractive. If you liked that sort of thing. Despite what he said, Harry felt a pang of jealousy go through him. Ethan frowned. “James, you said she didn’t have a boyfriend anymore.”
The jealousy went away, and Harry smiled delightedly as she turned the most beautiful shade of pink to date of knowing her. “Jesus Christ,” she put a hand to her face. “Ethan, for the love of God,” she headed toward the kitchen with her armload of dishes. “Put a shirt on! It’s February!” She called.
“Why? Am I distracting you with my hot body?” he called back. The silence that ensued told him that she was ignoring him.
James smiled and shook his head. “This is Harry,” he gestured.
“You are my least favorite person right now,” Ethan said shaking his hand. Harry smirked.
“Sorry,” he chuckled.
“I’ve been in love with her for at least ten years.”
“Disgusting,” James remarked and headed for the kitchen where Harry could hear water running and the spritz of cleaning bottles.
“Can’t say I blame you,” Harry smirked and headed toward the kitchen as well. Ethan grabbed a shirt off the back of the couch and slipped it over his head.
She was once more a tornado of cleaning, doing dishes, and loading the dishwasher. Harry did what he could to help her. He grabbed dishes and threw trash in the bin. It didn’t bother him in the slightest. He wished he could say he would do the same for anyone. Plus, he didn’t want her to be stuck doing everything. Ethan was busy looking in the fridge but Harry noted there wasn’t much there except for a six pack of beer, a bottle of ketchup, and some eggs. “Thanks for the heads up on the attic ladder,” she turned to look at her brother. He bit his lip and nodded.
“Yeah, that’s on me,” he murmured. “Sorry, Sis, are you alright?”
She gestured to her body and nodded. “What do you think?”
“I think you look fantastic,” Ethan grinned eyeing her up and down.
Harry snorted at his forwardness but couldn’t blame him. Her cheeks flamed once more. “I wasn’t asking you,” she glared at him. “Don’t you have a date you need to torture?” She grumbled.
“I did, but I heard you were coming, and I couldn’t leave without saying I love you,” his smile was full of impish delight. Harry didn’t realize he was going to be that flirty. But the way she glared at him and blushed made him feel much less threatened.
Not that he felt threatened. That would be ridiculous. He was at least six years younger than she was. Maybe seven based on the way he flirted with her.
“I was going to ask if you wanted to be my date,” he said knowingly. “But then you brought a guy with you. Where’s Eleanor?”
Sighing, unable to even say it, she rolled her eyes. Harry smirked sadly while he wiped down the counters she cleared. He found a box of trash bags below the sink right by her shin and he gave her calf a little squeeze in recognition. “Well, thank God for Harry then,” she muttered low enough that Harry wasn’t sure anyone but him heard.
James smirked as he helped clean. Harry appreciated that from her brother. His demeanor was a lot more her speed, and ergo Harry’s. It was quieter than her parents’ house. Relaxing almost. “How’s the hangover,” she asked eyeing her brother. He smirked. “I’m fine,” he promised.
“He threw up most of it when we got home,” Ethan assured her. She sighed and looked at James with a blank expression, but Harry could see the worry in her eyes.
“James,” she said softly.
“I’m fine, Sis, promise,” he nodded. But she looked disbelieving.
“You need a cleanse,” she muttered.
“No way,” Ethan said. “The holiday of our people is coming, we have to practice.”
“Neither of you are Irish!” She said with exasperation thick in her voice. It was obvious that this was not the first time she had had this conversation with them. “Alright, are you ready for your to do list?” She looked at Ethan. He saluted her standing at attention like this was serious. “I’m going to look at the state of your laundry room,” the two boys exchanged a look like she was their mom, and they knew immediately they were going to be in trouble. It was equal parts hysterical and adorable. “James and I are going grocery shopping. I’m assuming,” she narrowed her eyes at him. “The bathroom needs to be cleaned,” his answering smile assured her that she was correct. She wrinkled her nose. “No idea how you guys can bring women here with the state of your bathroom. Spotless,” she stuck her finger at him.
“God you’re hot when you’re bossy,” Ethan sighed dreamily.
Much more Harry’s speed, but still a bit jealous of how it sounded. But he couldn’t argue with him either. She was pretty hot when she gave orders.
*
James sat in the middle of the seat making eye contact with Harry in the rearview mirror every so often while he chatted with his sister. They quickly caught up on their lives. James was working a lot, his classes were good, and he was still having a lot of fun. “Good, that means you can’t drink as much,” she remarked.
He sighed with an eyeroll. “I don’t have a drinking problem.”
“The way you drink is not normal. It’s not moderate. It’s binging and you know that’s bad. I did a whole research project in undergrad for my psychology class. It’s horrible,” she reminded him.
“Yes, ma’am. You’ve mentioned it about a thousand times. I don’t feel like I have to drink. I just like to drink. I’m fine.”
She turned toward him in her seat, looked at him suspiciously. “I just worry.”
“I know, Sis. I know. You worry about everyone,” he rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine,” he promised. He glanced at Harry again. “How’d you meet?”
“I rent the apartment above the restaurant Harry works at,” she explained.
“Oh, cool. What kind of restaurant?”
“Italian,” Harry answered.
“Oh, so she eats all the garlic bread,” he nodded knowingly. Harry chuckled.
She glared at her brother. “Shut up,” she grumbled. She turned to Harry who was smiling happily as he drove toward the grocery store. “Traitor,” she mumbled.
He grabbed her hand from her lap and held it on the console. The movement wasn’t lost on James. He stared at their intertwined hands for a moment before looking at his sister. He may have been younger, but he would do anything to protect her. “So... how long have you been seeing each other?” He asked.
She blushed. “Um...” she swallowed. “We’re only...”
“S’pretty new,” Harry explained. “S’been a busy few months with the holidays.”
“You didn’t tell us,” James’ attention was on her.
“Um...” she swallowed. Harry squeezed her hand reassuringly. Whatever she said was fine. “I... just have a lot going on. I don’t want to...”
“Oh, I get it, you’re shutting down again.”
She gaped and Harry’s eyes flew to James’ in the rear view. He smirked. “Oh?” Harry asked squeezing her hand again.
“Oh yeah. She does this all the time. She doesn’t let herself be happy,” he squeezed her shoulder. “Gotta worry about everyone else’s happiness,” he winked at her. Her face was no longer pink but bright red. Harry bit his lip.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he mumbled with a wink in her direction.
“Pretty sure you should be nicer to me since I’m the one buying your groceries,” she grumbled.
He squeezed her shoulder again. “Annoying younger brother,” he reminded her, getting out of the car and heading for the store. She sighed, pressing her head against the back of the seat.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Harry stayed quiet for a moment. Turned in her direction and smiled weakly. She refused to look at him head on. But he spoke anyway. “Y’deserve t’be happy. I’d like t’make y’happy, Principessa. Worry ‘bout you the way y’worry ‘bout everyone else,” he reached out to gently turn her face toward him. His smile was gentle, his eyes just as gentle too. Her heart was beating unevenly. He was so handsome and so nice. It made her feel like the luckiest woman in the world, and she wasn’t sure she deserved someone so normal and wonderful. He didn’t even flinch about her family. “Y’don’t have t’feel embarrassed. Think s’pretty obvious I adore you. If y’want t’do this...” he moved his finger back and forth between them with his freehand. He squeezed her other one again. “S’all I can think ‘bout. Won’t take any convincing on my end. Whenever you’re ready, kitten, m’ready,” he promised and got out of the car.
It took her a full minute to recover while Harry stood by the passenger door waiting for her signal that she was going to get out. She wanted to throw herself at Harry and kiss him in the middle of a city grocery store parking lot. But she wasn’t kidding when she said it earlier. If she kissed him, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stop.
*
Harry didn’t know he could fall harder for her. Especially for all the reasons he had fallen for her so much already. But seeing the cost of James’ groceries drop after coupons and her savings card, to one-hundred dollars less than it started, Harry was certain it might be one of the top five hottest things he adored about her. She was taking a picture of the receipt while she walked. “What are you doing?” James asked.
“I get points for receipts on this app. Then I can use the points to redeem gift cards.”
“You sound like mom.”
“Again, bought you your groceries.”
Harry smirked, putting the bags in the trunk of his car. James got the package of water bottles and soda from below the cart and put them in. She tried to grab stuff, but Harry shook his head fluttering his hand and ushering it away. “’Ve got it, Principessa.”
James smirked. “She did always want to be a princess when she was little. So, we’ve been told,” he nodded.
“Shut up.”
Harry smiled. “S’good t’know. Knew she had it in her,” he murmured.
“Er...Harry, would you mind terribly if I talked to her for a moment?” James asked.
She looked at him curiously. “What’s wrong?”
“Can you just—”
“M’jus’ gonna make a call,” Harry nodded and sat in the driver’s seat.
She turned to her brother. She remembered the day in first grade when her mom told her she was going to be a big sister. She was so excited. A real-life doll to play with. James was her best friend—probably still was in a lot of ways. He was intelligent and kind. She thought between the two of them, James was a lot more like her than Emma was.
He looked at his shoes leaning against Harry’s car. “M’sorry,” he murmured.
She sighed, already knowing what he was applying. “How much?”
“I paid all my bills for the month... it’s just... we had a party... and then...” he looked up at her. “I met a girl,” he told her. His cheeks turning pink, and she found him the cutest little thing on the planet. “I really like her,” he explained. “So, I took her out to this fancy place and... I charged it but... I needed books for class. Then... I get paid next week, and I didn’t budget right. I’m sorry,” he rubbed his hand over his mouth. He sounded remorseful.
“What’s she like?” she asked.
He looked up at her and smiled. “You’re going to love her,” he promised. “I want you to meet her,” he nodded.
Her heart clenched in a way she didn’t know was possible. Rarely did she meet James’ girlfriends. She met them when he was in high school, but only because she was around a lot more. But since she moved out and since James was in college, she didn’t hear or see much of his dating life. Other than the components she did not want to hear about and made her want to throw up thinking about her little brother doing weird things to girls.
“Are you embarrassed by me because I’m insane?” She asked him point blank when she saw the text messages popping up on his phone once during the holiday weekend about a year ago. There was a red heart next to the name and she didn’t recognize it.
“No, Sis. No way. I... I don’t introduce them to you because you’re the most sane. I want to be sure when they meet you,” he told her. Her heart felt so much adoration for her little brother. It felt like a hug and he wasn’t even touching her.
“I’d like that,” she nodded, trying to keep the tears from filling her eyes.
“Next time,” he nodded. “I know you have to get back and frost Emma’s cupcakes. She’s been texting me the whole time that I’m hogging you.”
She sighed and pulled her checkbook out of her purse. She wrote a sum that no normal sister would write for their younger brother while leaning against the back of the car. But it was better than him asking her mom. “I’ll pay you back,” he promised as she put the check in his hands.
“By my estimates you owe me more than you’ll ever be able to make,” she winked at him. “It’s what older sisters are for,” she promised and gave him another hug.
“Someone should tell Emma that,” he grumbled into her hair. She smiled, her eyes watering against her will. All while holding back the emotion that she felt for feeling understood. Maybe this girl was good for James. She hoped he was. He seemed to have matured in a matter of months since she last saw him. It made her throat tighten and she did her best to control the tears from falling. “Didn’t tell us about Harry,” he said knowingly.
She shrugged and smiled wryly. “I’m still figuring it out.”
“I think you should let him take care of you,” he said knowingly. “I’ve never seen you smile like that,” he wrinkled his nose. “Even if he holds your hand,” he pretended to gag, and she smiled.
“I like him,” she admitted. “A lot.”
“I would think; I wasn’t kidding. I don’t bring girls home to Mom and Dad’s for a while.”
She rolled her eyes. “I think he likes me too,” she sounded shy, like it was hard to believe. It was for her, but still.
“I’ll say. Ethan’s been texting me nonstop saying it’s game over. No more flirting. You’re betrothed to someone else.”
“Ethan did not say betrothed,” she laughed.
“He did, he is distraught,” he chuckled.
She rolled her eyes heading for the passenger seat. Harry smiled as she sat down, winking at her with the phone pressed to his ear. “I’ll call you later, Gem. Jus’ wanted t’say thank you and I love you,” he tapped on the steering wheel. “Tell mum I said hi and I love her,” he added. “Alright, bye,” he gave her a once over assuring she was in one piece—emotionally. “All set?” He asked.
She nodded. “All set.”
*
The ladder was the hardest part. Her dad helped at least. Had all the right tools and all the right pieces of wood needed to fix it. Harry was insistent on keeping her out of the way. “I always help with this stuff, Harry,” she said standing by with a flashlight for more help. It was bright in the hall, but you can never have too much light for these projects.
“It’s true. I had James, but by then my little helper here was doing most of the grunt work,” her dad winked at her as a reminder. She rolled her eyes and shrugged.
But once the ladder was up and functional again, Harry still didn’t want her going up into the attic. “Don’t want you t’hurt yourself, kitten,” he told her as he climbed up.
“Well, what about you—”
“I’ll be fine,” he promised with a wink.
After that, the lights took all of twenty minutes to come down. Harry was insistent he be on the ladder for that as well, pulling the lights off the gutter and handing the strand down to her. She wrapped them up expertly and stashed them in the bins and helped Harry put them back up in the new and improved attic. The way his arms flexed as he lifted the boxes up and over the ledge of the attic opening made his shirt lift a little, showing off a flash of his stomach. It couldn’t have been more than five seconds of time, but she was able to see toned lines of his abdomen and another tattoo on his hip. She swallowed as he descended the ladder trying to keep her thoughts PG, but Harry was looking at her with that beautiful smile of his and he kissed her cheek just like the very first time he did after babysitting Leo.
They finally ate the shepherd’s pie her mom made. It needed to be reheated by then. Harry was delighted with how good it tasted. “It’s Mom’s specialty,” she said. “Also, my favorite,” she smirked. “As you may have guessed, I have a thing for comfort food.”
He chuckled and nodded. “S’delicious, Principessa.”
Now they were frosting cupcakes. Almost silently. She heard the TV in the other room while the rest of her family watched the news and whatever followed it. “This is fun,” Harry smiled excitedly at her.
“Fun?” She snorted.
“Yeah. T’hang out with y’like this? S’nice,” he sounded almost sheepish.
Her heart fluttered because she couldn’t think of anything but how nice and wonderful Harry had been the whole day. “On the way home, you have to tell me all about your family, please.”
He smiled licking a bit of frosting off his thumb. He got up to wash his hands because he was onto vanilla frosting after finishing the cream cheese flavor. “Course, Principessa.”
*
They stayed for a whole hour in the living area with her family. Harry sat next to her, so close the length of her thigh pressed against his. He had his arm draped behind her on the back of the sofa and he chatted with her family so easily. It was cozy. Like he belonged there. It made her heart feel achy and she wished with everything in her that nothing would shatter this perfection she was feeling.
She couldn’t wait to tell Eleanor.
She visited a couple weekends ago. Had to get a few financial and personal documents from the town hall and whatnot to set up more permanent things in her residence. Her new job was nice—she was able to work from home most of the time; but did have to go to the office at least twice a week. But it was easy to shift the days if needed so she could do things like fly in and get her tasks done and still have time to get pasta at Dolcezza.
“Can you please put that poor man out of his misery and marry him already?” Eleanor rolled her eyes as they waited for their waitress to return with the check to sign. Their to go bag was on the table and Eleanor snapped a picture of her smiling cutely. Like they were on a date.
She rolled her eyes at the time. Not knowing that in less than a month she would be kissing Harry in her parents’ kitchen. “He’s not miserable.”
“No, but that’s because he’s so enamored, he would probably follow you around like a puppy on a leash if you asked him too.” She rolled her eyes but at that moment the waitress returned with their check and another bag filled with garlic bread from the cutest chef she had ever met.
“Well, we should get going. I just have to use the bathroom,” she said begrudgingly, getting up from the sofa. She could feel the heat from Harry dissipate almost immediately. It made her want to sit back down and never move from his side again. “I’ll be right back.”
“Thank you, for the cupcakes,” Emma said looking up at her older sister as she walked toward the bathroom. She smiled gently.
“Anytime, Em,” she promised.
“Let me help you get them on trays,” Harry said getting up from the sofa as well and Emma followed him almost implicitly toward the kitchen. Due to the size of the bake sale and how her cupcakes were town-famous, she had invested in several large trays that held cupcakes for ease of transportation. It took two cars and a flat backseat, but it was way more manageable than the first year when she made three or four trips to the school carrying cupcakes in kitschy cases.
After her short trip to the restroom, she nearly tripped over the smoke alarm in the middle of the hall. She rolled her eyes with a sigh. This had to be the hundredth task she did for her family today. But of course, she shouldn’t have expected anything less. She headed to the computer room to find a new battery. It was right near the kitchen, so she overheard Emma and Harry chatting.
“Do you have a sister?” Emma asked.
“Yeah. Gemma. She’s three years older than me.”
“So you know how annoying older sisters are,” she muttered.
Harry chuckled. “I mean...yeah. Gemma’s annoying sometimes... but she’s also m’best friend. Always looks out for me. Think if I were on the edge of a cliff, she’d throw herself off it t’save me,” he said knowingly.
Emma snorted. “She’d never do that for me,” she mumbled. Her heart broke as she eavesdropped on their conversation. Of course, she would. It hurt that Emma didn’t know that.
Harry made a cluck of disapproval. “I wouldn’t say that, Emma,” Harry said quickly. “Your sister talks ‘bout you a lot.”
“She does?” The shock in her voice pulled at her heartstrings. How could Emma not know that? Her baby sister was a spoiled princess. But she was in part to blame for that. She adored her the moment her mom arrived home with her. A new doll. One that she knew how to take care of thanks to James’ arrival three years prior. Emma was just as much of her baby as she was her parents’ baby.
“Yeah... told me all these cute funny stories ‘bout when y’were born. How y’used t’ask her t’do your makeup when y’were eight and she was getting ready for prom and stuff. Now you’re the one that does hers. She thinks you’re brilliant, beautiful, and wonderful.”
Emma was silent for a long time. She held her breath. “Oh...” she mumbled.
“Y’were pretty mean t’her today. M’not gonna lie t’you. I didn’t like it all.”
She was going to cry. Cry a lot. No one had ever stood up for her like that. Harry was perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect. “I’m sorry,” Emma whispered.
“S’not me who y’need t’apologize to,” Harry said softly.
“She’s...” Emma took a deep breath. “She’s so perfect,” Emma whispered. “It’s hard being her younger sister sometimes. All Mom and Dad say is that they miss her and wish she was here. I miss her. My teachers ask about her. They use her work as model examples, and everyone stares at me like I’m second best. I feel so inadequate...” her voice cracked, and she wanted to do nothing but run out there and hug the girl who would always be a little eight-year-old begging to wear her prom dress even though it trailed off her way too far.
“Oh Emma,” Harry had a frown in his voice. “Y’jus’ need t’tell her that. She adores you...and while I agree with you completely, m’sure she would say she’s not perfect.”
She smirked against her teary eyes and stifled a giggle that she wanted to release. “You’re way better than all her other boyfriends,” Emma said knowingly. “If you break her heart, I will kill you,” she promised. It was really hard to hide her laughter, but Harry found it quite funny, so his laugh hid any little breathy chuckle that managed to escape.
“Thank you, Emma,” he said.
Even though they weren’t really boyfriend and girlfriend, she agreed with her sister completely.
*
Harry told her all about his family. Growing up in England. Getting his degree and traveling until he found Antonio, and she knew the rest. She wanted to meet Gemma more than anything in the world. His mum too, but as a fellow older sister, she imagined she could compare notes. He told funny stories about him and Niall living together in a house across their small town.
He held her hand the whole way home, stroking his thumb soothingly over her knuckles. As awful as the day began, she never wanted it to end. Harry was amazing. In every sense of the word and every physical movement. Not once did he complain. Not once did he mind a single thing, she asked of him.
They made it back to the restaurant. It was only ten, a whole hour before she thought they’d be back. Harry immediately went to the kitchen to get her some garlic bread because it had been a long day and he wanted to make sure she had something good at the very end of the night. He also told her he would get her keys from Niall. She sat at the bar looking at the knots in the wood grain. Patiently, anxiously, she tapped her fingers against it, waiting for Harry to get back. He promised to walk her upstairs and part of her hoped he remembered what he said about kissing her for a lot longer than in the kitchen earlier in the day.
That felt like a lifetime ago.
Niall was ducked behind the bar and reappeared as she glanced up seeing the movement. He was helping himself to a glass of water from the little soda gun. “Hey Niall,” she said softly.
“Hey, Tesorino! How was your day?” He said cheerily. She smiled weakly. Niall assumed it was exhaustion. “Let me get your keys. Did everything—”
“From where you’re standing,” she interrupted. “Don’t be obvious, please. Is there a guy in the left corner? Blonde, longish hair, glasses? Is he staring at me?”
Niall felt his whole body freeze over. Inside and out. The blood in his veins stilled. His muscles locked. His joints stiffened. He looked up briefly, discreetly following her direction. She swallowed waiting nervously as Niall looked to the back corner.
He nodded.
She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply. “Okay,” she whispered. “I was afraid of that.”
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