#there was so many good lines from the original that i just couldn’t remember but i tried to replicate them :( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hopelesslygaysstuff · 3 months

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pairing: wanda maximoff x fem!reader

summary: wanda maximoff, your domme and girlfriend, tests you with impossible rules, and subsequently punishes you for failing to follow them.

content warnings: obvi smut, restraints, impact play, edging, cunnilingus.

word count: 4k+

masterlist

original request

comments and reblogs are always appreciated! happy reading ♡

My Good Girl

The afternoon sun cast warm hues through the floor-to-ceiling window, illuminating the cozy office and casting soft shadows across the floor. Wanda sat at her desk, fingers absentmindedly tapping on the dark wood. Lines of text filled her screen, yet her mind was elsewhere.

With a soft hum of contemplation, Wanda closed the laptop, a soft click breaking through the peaceful silence of the room.

‘I want to try something new tonight.’

The text is sent with a soft sound, and Wanda traces her phone slowly as she waits for you to read the message. Her mind is thrown back to the plethora of information she’d spent the better half of the afternoon consuming.

Agatha, one of her closest friends, and a well-known domme, had sent her a few websites to check out. Wanda had let it slip during one of their wine nights that although she was happy with you and the dom/sub relationship you’d built, she wanted to try something more.

You were perfect. Truly. Submissive, and willing to do whatever she said. Wanda loved the thrill she got whenever you obeyed an order.

But you were almost too perfect.

One of the sites she’d pursued was full of dominants sharing the ways they put a bratty sub in their place. Wanda had found herself growing wetter with each post she scrolled through. Her mind had found itself wandering over to you.

You, tears welling up as she choked you with her strap. You, pulling uselessly on scarlet ribbon restraints as she teased you for hours. You, with your face scrunched up as she twisted and pulled on your nipples until you begged her for mercy.

The word mommy, slipping from your lips as you blushed.

Wanda had to take several breaks throughout her afternoon, her fingers slipping below her waistband and sliding over the slick arousal coating her panties. She’d thought of you while rubbing herself to a climax, imagining your wide eyes as you knelt before her…

Fuck. She was getting worked up again.

Her phone dinged, and Wanda had to physically shake herself while she scrambled for her phone. Her fingers trembled as she unlocked the phone, seeing your message.

‘Of course we can! What did you have in mind?’

You were so eager to please, so willing to succumb to anything Wanda asked of you. She took a few deep breaths, typing out her response with one hand while quickly packing her bag.

‘When I get home, I want you naked and kneeling by the door. You will address me as ma’am, nothing else. Understood?’

Wanda could feel herself slipping into her dominant headspace, the thrill of giving orders rushing through her.

‘And if I break one of those rules?’

Oh, it was almost too easy.

‘I’ll have to punish you, darling. I’m on my way home. Remember my instructions.’

Slipping her phone into her pocket, Wanda cast one last look around her office before turning out the light. Locking up, she strode quickly down the hall, thankfully not seeing any other employees around.

The car ride home was agonizing, the heat between her legs growing into an unbearable inferno. Wanda couldn’t help but squeeze her thighs together at the thought of you breaking her rules.

And she knew just the thing to distract you and cause you to slip up.

At a stoplight just outside the city, about five minutes from your shared home, Wanda pulled out her phone. Knowing the light would take a while to turn green, she pulled up the locked photo album hidden in her files. Selecting a photo, she quickly sent it to you with no caption.

The photo was a selfie, the phone propped up against her work computer. Wanda had popped a few too many buttons, the lace of her red bra peeking out from underneath her silk shirt and jacket. Her eyes were locked on the camera, iridescent and smoldering, while the fingers of one hand were wrapped tightly around her tie, pulling it away from her neck. The other hand was resting on her belt, a single finger slipping beneath the waistband of her dress pants.

Wanda let her imagination run wild, imagining the flush creeping up your neck and coloring your face. Your breath would catch, pupils dilating as arousal shot through you. By the time you positioned yourself at the door, your juices would be smeared all over your delicate inner thighs, your eyes pleading and desperate.

The light turned green, and Wanda refocused. Only a few minutes until she'd be home.

The anticipation was killing her.

—

Wanda forced herself to slow her gait, walking leisurely up the steps to the front door. Her heels clicked on the pavement and she hoped that you could hear her approaching.

The door clicked open, the key sliding easily into the lock.

Green eyes found you easily, a pleased smile stretching across those beautiful lips as Wanda observed your kneeling form. Your eyes were just as wide as she’d hoped, your irises disappearing as your pupils dilated further at the sight of her.

“Hello, darling.”

Wanda made sure to pitch her voice low, a sultry tone making its way through her words. Her gaze pierced yours, a silent demand hidden within them.

“Good afternoon, ma’am.” Your voice shook, and you sucked in a shaky breath.

Your hands were placed atop your thighs, palms flat as you subtly parted your thighs. Wanda caught a glimpse of the shiny arousal coating your inner thighs, and she breathed deeply, hoping your scent would envelop her.

“How was your day, sweetheart?” Wanda asked, setting her bag down and slipping her jacket off her shoulders. She hung it up, flicking her fingers in silent order for you to follow.

“It was good, um, ma’am.” You stuttered, crawling after her as she made her way towards the living room.

Seating herself on the couch, Wanda crossed one leg elegantly over the other. You crawled up to her, eyes glancing between her lips and legs. You sat up, posture straight and palms flat, with your fingers thrumming nervously on your thighs.

“And what did my good girl do today?” Wanda smirked at you.

“Oh, I uh…” Your eyes grew distant as you tried to force yourself to focus. “I worked a little bit, and then I made some meal prep for the week, ma’am.”

Wanda raised an eyebrow, “Anything else?”

You wracked your brain, trying to remember what you’d done that day. The only thing running through your mind was the insatiable picture Wanda had sent you. Your mind focused on the captivating curve of her breasts, the smoldering look in her eyes, similar to the one she was giving you now.

“Oh!” You remembered something, excitement weaving its way through your words. “I made you something!”

Wanda paused for a moment, seemingly waiting for something, but you were looking up at her with wide eyes and a satisfied grin.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” You could sense the satisfaction in Wanda’s voice, and faltered.

“Ma’am.” You blurted out, but Wanda was already shaking her head.

“Too late, darling.”

You paled slightly, but Wanda could see the excitement glowing in your eyes. You were curious, anticipation thrumming through you. The flush on your face was slowly growing darker, the tips of your ears burning as the weight of Wanda’s gaze settled on you.

“Bedroom, now. You know what position I like you in.”

A punishment. That’s what you were receiving. You hadn’t had one of those in a long time, not since the beginning of your relationship with Wanda.

“Yes ma’am.” Your voice was quiet, and you stood, watching Wanda for any sign of disapproval. When she gave none, you turned and headed toward the bedroom, aware of her gaze burning on your hips.

Approaching the bed, you let your hand caress the soft silk of the comforter. Kneeling on top of the mattress, you take a steadying breath, listening for the click of Wanda’s heels.

You don’t have to wait for long. The slow, measured steps of Wanda’s confident gait reach your ears, and you subconsciously straighten your back. Ensuring that your gaze is locked on your hands, you resist the urge to look up when the soft light from the hallway hits your eyes as Wanda enters the room.

“Such a good girl.” Wanda’s voice is soft, and you feel some of your arousal leak out and drip down your thighs.

You don’t speak, knowing that Wanda likes to command every part of you, including your words. Instead, you offer a small smile, eyes locked on her form as she walks toward the closet. She disappears inside, throwing a smile over her shoulder.

A whimper threatens to escape you, but you choke it down. If Wanda heard one errant sound from you, she’d surely increase your punishment. That’s the last thing you want, so you simply resist the urge to shift on the bed and wait.

The minutes stretch on, and you mentally curse your girlfriend out. You knew she was doing this on purpose, building up the anticipation. You want to call out, but your words get stuck in your throat, not wanting to add to your punishment.

So you wait, your arousal building with each minute until the sheets below you are damp.

You hear the door open, the heady presence of Wanda Maximoff filling the room. The sheer dominance that she emanates washes over you, loosening your muscles as your head grows fuzzier.

You can trust her. Wanda only wants what’s best for you.

“You’re doing so well for me, love,” Wanda says, moving onto the bed and kneeling before you. She’s still fully clothed, her buttoned shirt brushing against your skin in a tantalizing dance as she sets a few items beside her. You don’t dare look, keeping your eyes trained on your hands until she commands you otherwise.

“Look at me.”

Green eyes seem slightly softer in the dim light, and you search them for any clue of what the night entails.

“Tell me why I’m punishing you,” The words jumpstart your brain, and you begin speaking as Wanda picks up a silky, scarlet ribbon.

“I forgot one of your rules, I’m sorry, mo…” The word almost slips from your lips, but you clench them shut.

Wanda raises an eyebrow at you, almost daring you to continue. You remain silent, still not ready to use the title you want. Your mind wars with itself, the waves of indecision subsiding when Wanda gently smiles at you and brushes her fingers lightly against your cheek.

Her eyes are soft, and you know that she won’t press the topic. Not until you’re ready.

“And which rule was that?”

“I forgot to call you ma’am, I’m sorry,” You say, your voice earnest.

At your practically whimpered words, Wanda has already forgiven you. However, the thought of punishing you is far too tantalizing, so she picks up one of the silk ribbons.

“And you know what this is, correct?”

“Yes ma’am,” You won’t be forgetting her title anytime soon, and Wanda feels pride shoot through her at your steadfast obedience. She gently pushes you backwards, until you realize what she’s doing.

Positioning yourself on your back, you stretch your arms out toward the headboard, enjoying the feel of the scarlet ribbon around your wrist as Wanda begins to restrain you. Your clit pulses when she tightens the ribbon securely, and you fight the urge to roll your hips.

Quickly fastening your other wrist to the headboard, Wanda waits for you to test the strength. She smirks while you writhe beneath her, attempting to escape. You squirm, your hips restrained by her thighs as she sits atop you, her fingernails scraping lightly down your sides before you give up.

“Thank you, ma’am.” You say, and Wanda’s eyes light up in pleasure.

In one smooth movement, she flips you over, her fingers digging into your hips as she roughly positions you on your stomach. Your wrists cross over each other at the change of position, her hands pulling your body down until you can barely move an inch.

A hand on the back of your head shoves your face into a soft pillow, and you turn your cheek slightly to be able to breathe. Wanda doesn't seem to notice, her attention focused on the item she now holds in her hand.

You catch a glimpse of the paddle and whine. It’s been a while since she’s used that toy on you, and you vividly remember the last experience. You hadn’t been able to sit down for three days.

“Remember your colors, sweetheart.” Wanda reminds you, and you nod into the pillow as her hand gently squeezes the flesh of your ass.

The first strike takes you by surprise, and your body jolts, attempting to escape the sharp sting. You hear Wanda chuckling above you and can practically feel her eyes appraising the bright red mark that the paddle left. Before you’ve recovered from the first hit, the paddle swings down again, pain and pleasure mixing as she strategically places marks across your whole backside.

When the paddle hits the sensitive skin of your upper thigh, you let out a yelp.

“Darling?” Wanda asks. You can’t formulate a response and your breaths are heavy and fast. You tug at the restraints, a soft green tumbling past your lips.

The hits are quick and hard, pain radiating through you even as your clit throbs. You can feel your juices dripping down your thighs and soaking the sheet beneath you. The humiliation of the situation only turns you on more, and it’s not long before you’re moaning softly into the pillow.

A heavy sigh makes its way through you when Wanda pauses, setting the paddle down beside you. “Color,” She demands, her hands cool against your abused flesh.

“Green, thank… thank you,” Your words are breathy, stuttering when Wanda’s fingers graze your slit.

A single finger circles your clit, and you can’t help but push your ass upwards, trying to appease the tension between your legs.

“Oh,” Wanda says, her voice full of mirth. “It seems like you want more, love.”

Nodding frantically, you roll your hips forward.

A sharp pain makes its way through you, Wanda’s hand coming down quickly against your sensitive backside. You let out a half moan, half yelp at the action.

“Don’t rut against the bed like a pathetic mutt,” She practically growls, bringing her hand down sharply a few more times. “You’re practically begging for a punishment.”

You want to complain, you want to whine about the injustice of it all. Instead, you remain quiet, not wanting to risk more pain. You can feel Wanda shifting, and bite your lip when the cool leather of the paddle drags across your overheated backside.

“Do you want more?” Wanda asks, and you can’t do anything but nod. You turn your head, peeking at her from the corner of your eye. Her green eyes are locked on the swell of your ass, and you shudder at the hungry look in them.

“Beg for it.”

The paddle presses against your clit, the pressure sending pleasure coursing through you. Resisting the urge to grind against it, you grit your teeth and speak. “Please, ma’am. I want you to hit me. Punish me, please, I’ve been a bad girl.”

Wanda doesn’t respond, instead raising the paddle and delivering more blows to your aching backside.

You begin to moan, the pain morphing into a sick sort of pleasure. With each blow, your clit is pressed against the mattress, your orgasm approaching rapidly. You know better than to beg, you’d learned long ago that Wanda liked to control every aspect of your pleasure, including when you were allowed to cum.

“Are you close?” Wanda asks, not giving you a chance to respond before she continues to speak, “I can see you dripping onto the sheets, your hips rutting pathetically of their own will. Do you want to cum, baby? Do you want to cum while mommy hits you with the paddle?”

The words worm their way into your mind, twisting your thoughts while pleasure and pain consume your being. Her hits don’t cease, the leather paddle slapping against you over and over again.

The pillow is damp beneath your cheek. You hadn’t realized that you’d begun to cry, and a whine escaped your mouth without your permission. It only spurs Wanda on.

“Oh, you like this, don’t you darling? You like being mommy’s little fucktoy, taking whatever I give you. Say it.”

You barely register her words, something incoherent spewing from your mouth as she delivers the harshest blows of the night. One of Wanda’s hands tangles with your hair, wrenching your head up from the pillow.

“Say it.” Her voice is deadly, low, and raspy. You don’t dare disobey.

“I like it, I like it when you treat me like this. Please don’t stop. Please, fuck.” You cut yourself off, feeling Wanda swing the paddle harshly at the curse word.

“Mommy, please.”

Relief. Your brain starts to work again. The pain radiating from your backside subsides slightly as Wanda drops the paddle to the floor. You feel as though you should be embarrassed, but don’t.

Truth be told, you’ve wanted to call Wanda by that title for a while, and at this moment, it just felt right.

“Say that again for me, darling.”

You feel your body being manhandled again, your hips twisting until you’re on your back again. Green eyes stare down at you, a slightly dazed look in them. Wanda’s fingers trace patterns on your ribcage, moving up to tease your nipples while she waits.

“Mommy,” Your voice is quiet, almost shy, but the word is genuine. “Please let me cum.”

Wanda can’t bring herself to punish you any longer. Not after you’ve finally used the title she’s been yearning for. She finds herself suddenly incapable of speaking, the words catching in her throat.

Surging forward, Wanda presses her impossibly soft lips to yours. Her tongue dances against yours, tracing your lips and drawing soft moans from you. You fight the urge to roll your hips, her thigh pressed perfectly against your center.

Her tongue explores your mouth for what seems like forever, and you find yourself growing wetter with each minute. You can’t complain, though. Kissing Wanda will always be something you treasure.

Eventually, the need for air becomes too great, and Wanda pulls back. Her eyes search yours, a smile slowly stretching across her face.

“Good girl,” She coos, a hand reaching up and cupping your cheek. “Thank you, sweetheart,”

You grin, sure that your eyes are sparkling as you gaze up at her. From this angle, she looks almost angelic, with her hair falling around you. You don’t mind, if you could choose anything to worship, Wanda would be the first and only thing on your list.

“I’m going to make you feel really good now, okay?” She says, not giving you a chance to respond before she’s descending your body. She leaves open-mouthed kisses on your skin, enjoying the way you jolt beneath her whenever she nips you with her teeth.

The bruises she leaves behind fill her with pride and a hint of possessiveness, and she gazes up at you when her mouth finally reaches the glistening heat between your thighs.

“Please,” You whisper, throwing your head back when her tongue applies gentle pressure against your clit.

It’s practically torture, her skilled mouth alternating between sucking and licking your clit as your orgasm approaches quickly. You want to reach down and tangle your fingers with her hair, pulling her flush against you, and tug uselessly at your restraints.

Your hips twitch violently, a sign that you’re close to an orgasm. A few… more… strokes of that talented tongue…

Wanda pulls away, and you whine loudly. Her fingers twist your nipple harshly in response, and you mumble a quick apology.

“None of that,” Wanda reprimands, “you take whatever I give you, remember?”

She doesn’t give you a chance to respond, burying her head between your thighs before you can fully catch your breath. This time, she sucks your clit violently, red-hot bolts of pleasure shooting through you as your thighs tense.

Her mouth disappears.

Giving you a few moments to recover, Wanda watches the realization enter your eyes. You mumble, “You’re going to edge me, aren’t you?”

Chuckling, Wanda circles your clit with a single finger. She watches your eyes gloss over as your hips twitch. Pressing harder, she moves rhythmically over the hard nub, enjoying the moans reverberating around the room. You tense up, lips parting as your orgasm draws near…

“Only good girls get to cum, darling,” Wanda pulls her fingers fully away from you.

You want to scream. You want to curse her out, you want to escape your restraints and hump her thigh until you cum. You want to…

A moan claws its way out from your chest, and Wanda takes that as a sign to continue.

You don’t know how long she edges you, the only thing you’re aware of is the growing arousal between your thighs and the pleasure that builds and builds and dissipates whenever Wanda senses that you’re close.

After a while, the fuzziness takes over your mind, and you lose count of the edges as Wanda’s tongue relentlessly works against your core. She keeps her fingers locked around your thighs, refusing to give your pussy any sort of real satisfaction.

Practically crazed with arousal and desperation, you attempt to roll your hips against Wanda’s lips.

“Do you want me to bring the paddle out again?” Wanda raises a single eyebrow, her hand raising and striking your swollen pussy. The sting shoots through your clit, and you jerk your hips as you recoil from the pain.

“No, I’m sorry mommy. Please…” You moan as Wanda’s warm mouth encircles your clit. “Please forgive me.”

Time blends with the countless edges, and you find yourself lost in a pleasurable vanilla haze. The only thing you’re aware of is Wanda. Her tongue, building you up. Her eyes, watching you as her fingers hold your thighs and hips against the mattress. Her scent, an addicting drug that you never want to abstain from.

Your orgasm, just barely out of reach. Wanda, bringing you closer and closer and…

—

You open your eyes, your vision seeming sharper than before. Warm water surrounds you, suds covering your chest as a warm washcloth gently rubs against your collarbone.

“Mommy?”

Wanda moves into your field of vision, her eyes filled with concern. You smile widely, relaxing further into the water. You want to reach up and pull her face closer, yearning to feel her lips against yours, but your limbs don’t seem to work properly.

“Hi, sweetheart. You scared me,” Wanda’s voice is soft, and you can sense the worry underneath her accent.

“I’m alright, I promise,” You reassure her, resting your head against the side of the tub. “But…” Trailing off, you watch Wanda’s brows furrow in concern.

“I still really want to cum.”

Wanda scoffs, splashing you lightly as you laugh. Allowing yourself to fully relax, you let her wash away your sweat, her hands gentle as she scrubs the dried arousal off your thighs.

“You don’t get to cum tonight, I'm punishing you.” Wanda sounds like she’s about to whine, and you splash her. The water droplets cling to her hair, and you laugh at her pout, your arms working again as you pull her in by the neck for a kiss.

Her tongue dances languidly alongside yours, and you push down the arousal that attempts to rise. Honestly, you’d get aroused if Wanda simply walked into a room. With her lips on yours, it’s much harder to tamper your desperation for her.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Wanda mumbles against your lips, and you roll your eyes.

Eventually, Wanda ends the impromptu makeout session, finishing the bath and drying you off. She applies some aloe vera to your sore backside, kissing the marks softly as she does so.

You’ve never felt more loved.

Sliding in between fresh, cool sheets, Wanda pulls you flush against her. Your head is comfortably nestled in the crook of her neck, and you can feel her heartbeat against your palm.

Gentle lips kiss the top of your head, and you feel yourself drifting off. Wanda hums, murmuring one final thing before you finally succumb to the waves of drowsiness washing over you.

“Happy Valentine's Day, my love.”

---

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prythianpages · 6 months

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Stuck on You | Part Two

cassian x reader | Cassian can't seem to forget about you since the night you met seven years ago. he thought he would never see you again but when he does, he's determined to make you his. this time for good.

“Don’t worry. She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know, I read her diary.”

[part one] [part two] [part three] [edit/sneak peak] [part four] [final part] [solstice bonus]

A/N: you finally get to see the line above in this part! I also used writing prompts from @dumplingsjinson to help me with some of the dialogue. you can find the original post here.

Warnings: fluff, some angst, mentions of death

“Y/N?”

You spun around, eyes widening in surprise and recognition. “Cassian,” you whispered, your heart dancing erratically within your chest as you took in the sight of him.

“You remembered my name.” A warm grin spread across his face at the sound of his name coming from your pretty lips.

"How could I ever forget?" you remarked with a gleam in your eye and your words left him blushing, the memory of the night you two spent together surfacing vividly, even after all these years.

His presence was powerful and imposing, just as you remembered. Towering over you, his tall and muscular frame overwhelmed your senses, accompanied by the intoxicating scent of cedar and balsam that clung to him. His warm amber eyes lingered on you, a silent exploration that traced the contours of your figure as if he were undressing you with his eyes before lifting to meet your gaze once more.

You couldn’t shake the disbelief that gripped you. You thought you’d never see him again.

“Cassian?” A small voice interrupted, pulling your gazes away from each other and back to the young girl. “I’ve never met you before.”

Cassian studied her. She could only be a couple of years old, no older than a decade. A fact that set the gears in his mind into motion. Could she be–

“Cassian is–is an old friend of mine.” You swiftly explained to the young girl. “Cassian, this is Seraphine. My sister.”

The blood returned to Cassian’s face as a small wave of relief washed over him. Sister. This little girl was your sister, not his long-lost secret child. There was a glimmer of amusement in your eyes when you caught the look on his face.

“Can you be my friend too?” Seraphine pleaded with her eyes. Her tiny hands grasped onto Cassian’s larger hand and she urged him to take the seat next to her. He looked at you and you could only send him an apologetic look, gesturing with your hands to take a seat as well, mouthing at him that your little sister didn’t have many friends. He felt a tug in his heart at your revelation so with a kind smile, he took the seat next to Seraphine.

“Of course.” Cassian replied. “What is it that you were drawing earlier?”

Seraphine squealed in excitement as she pulled out her notebook, showing him the pegasus she had been drawing. Cassian bit back his laugh as he took in the drawing that had a delightful charm, one only kids can bring to their creations.

You heard your name being called out again and when you turned your head, you saw that one of your tables was in need of more ale. You shifted your weight from one foot to another as you contemplated. The tavern was small enough that even when your sister would sit alone, you could still keep a watchful eye on her. You knew your sister would be in safe company with Cassian, but you could sense that he wanted to talk. Over what you had no clue but you were itching to know too.

“Are you hungry?” You asked and before he could respond, you simply nodded your head as you decided for him. “Let me bring you something to eat as well. I’ll be right back.”

Cassian watched as you disappeared behind a worn counter. You returned to the table but only for a brief moment as you placed a plate of warm food in front of him and then you were running off to attend to other tables, pouring out drinks and smiles with ease.

A smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something off about you. He only knew you for one night but that had been enough to know the spark you carried. Yet, the spark that had drawn him in seemed dimmed now and you carried yourself as if burdened by a weight he couldn’t quite discern.

“You’re staring.”

Cassian startled. He had forgotten all about the young girl beside him. “Sorry.”

Seraphine giggled and she grinned as she looked up at her new friend. “You like my sister.”

His own lips curled up into a shameless grin. “Yes, I do.”

“Will you marry her?”

“Maybe,” Cassian replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

He did like you.

One of his biggest regrets was not asking you to stay with him. After your bodies were spent from the immense amount of pleasure you drew out from one another, he had cuddled you against him with the pretense of keeping you warm but in reality, he just wanted to hold you longer. You had laughed as you plucked a leaf from his hair. The two of you had spent the rest of the night talking and he had already planned to take you out for a nice breakfast in Velaris once the restaurants would open. However, at the break of dawn, you had insisted you had to leave and you were running off before he could ask where to find you again.

He did look for you, though. He begged Azriel to help him find you but he had only been able to track down the friend you had arrived at the bonfire with. She was the one who had given him the unfortunate news that you had left Windhaven with your mother, not knowing where you had gone to.

“Papa liked my mama so he married her.” Seraphine said, her voice growing quiet. He failed to notice the quiver of her lip. “He liked her a lot, said it’s why they had me…but mama got attacked and then he died…y/n won’t get hurt will she? You won’t die, will you?”

Seraphine’s eyes lined with silver and she began to cry.

Cassian frowned and turned to her, his hand wiping away at her tears with an ache in his chest at what her words insinuated. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. No one is going to hurt y/n, not under my watch. And don’t worry about me, munchkin. I plan to live for a long time.”

Your head whipped at the sound of your sister crying. In an instant, you were at the table, dropping to your knees as you brought Seraphine into your embrace. Her tears dampened your shirt but you did not care. Your hand ran through her hair while the other rubbed against her back in a soothing manner, your own eyes brimming with tears and realization dawned on Cassian as to why your spark had dimmed.

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“Come with me.” Cassian repeated, following after you and helping you pick up the dirty plates scattered along the now empty tables as you prepared to close the tavern.

After Seraphine had settled with the help of some hot cocoa, Cassian had pulled you aside to talk, ignoring the wary look Azriel kept sending his way. They had stayed much longer than they had planned. Rhysand had already worriedly called into their minds, demanding to know why and for them to return. But Cassian refused to leave without knowing more about you and what had happened over the past seven years.

It was then when you explained everything, starting with the night you two spent together and why you had to leave so quickly after. You hadn’t planned to attend the bonfire celebration that night but it was your last night in Windhaven and you gave in to your friend’s request, deciding that you would finally let go and be free, have fun for once. No one would remember you, anyway, or so you had thought.

The very next morning you and your mother moved back to her home camp, Ironcrest, where she married an old friend of hers who promised to take care of not only her but you as well. Your mother had been treated poorly, shunned by Ironcrest, after falling victim to a high fae that had been visiting. She found out she was pregnant shortly after. It was already hard being a female in an Illyrian war camp and even more so being a single mother. The two of you moved from camp to camp, wherever your mother could find a job to sustain the both of you until you were old enough to help. You had only lived in Windhaven during the years of the war, which explained why Cassian had never seen you before the bonfire.

The man your mother had married was nice and kind, a stark contrast among the many Illyrian males at the camps. He was able to take care of her and you well with the help of his tavern and he was elated when he found out your mother was pregnant. He had hoped for a son, as most men do, but he couldn’t bring himself to care when he finally got to meet sweet little Seraphine.

Your family had lived a quiet and peaceful life, doting over Seraphine who had brought you all such joy. That is, until, a drunken Illyrian male, who had remembered your mother from years before you were born, decided to attack her out of spite. Of course, your step-father had intervened. He had not been trained as a warrior like the drunk Illyrian male had but that didn’t deter him from fighting back until his very last breath.

You had been the one to find your murdered mother and step-father. You’d never forget the gruesome sight of their lifeless bodies or the immense anger that had cursed through your veins when the murderer was let go and freed, having convinced the council that he had acted upon honor. You were utterly and completely helpless as your mother’s body was not granted the same respected burial as your step father was.

It had been a couple of months since their deaths and in those months, you focused on taking care of Seraphine. You were grateful your step father had taken you under his wing and taught you about business here and there. It was what helped you run the tavern on your own. That and the false pretense that your step-father’s brother, the only living relative Seraphine had that neither of you have met, was overseeing the business.

You settled the last of the dirty dashes into the bin, deciding that you would take care of them the next morning. You leaned against the counter to face the persistent Illyrian male before you. He took this as his opportunity to approach you, bridging the distance between you.

“I can take care of you and Seraphine.” He was so close and when he leant down, your eyes fluttered shut momentarily at the warmth radiating from him, your body aching for more.

“Was I really that good? To have the Lord of Bloodshed remember me after all this time and offer to take care of me?”

There was humor in your tone and Cassian was smirking at you. So you had also done a little digging at him after your night with him. He caged you in with both his arms and wings. “I think about you and that pretty cunt of yours so often. Sometimes even when I’m with other females.”

“You do?” You breathed in pleasant surprise, you had only meant to tease him. His words went straight to your core and you wanted nothing more than to give in to him, to feel him all over you.

Cassian felt a familiar cool caress–one of Azriel’s shadows–at the back of his neck and then it was yanking on his hair in warning. Reluctantly, he pulled away from you, catching the way you composed yourself. He would’ve loved to tease you about it and if he had time, he would’ve loved to show you the effect you had on him. Even after all these years.

“I’m being serious though. My offer is not driven by lust or any ulterior motive but as a friend.”

“Friend?”

“It’s what you called me earlier.” He replied, a note of gentle reproach in his tone. A wistful smile played on his lips. “And while I would like to be more than a friend, that sounds like a promising starting point.”

“I’m sorry, Cassian, but I don’t think I can.” You frowned, crossing your arms against your chest, as you fought the urge to say yes. “I just–I don’t know.”

While he promised to take care of your little sister too, it wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him, you could tell he meant well and his offer was genuine. Your reservation was heavily based on the variability of it all. This life, as miserable as it was, is all you knew and for the moment, it was keeping both you and your sister safe.

Seraphine squinted up at the towering Illyrian male, who you had left her with while you talked with Cassian. He claimed to be Cassian’s friend. “Azriel,” he had introduced himself and when her curious gaze followed his shadows, he added: “Shadowsinger.”

“You don’t look like a Shadowsinger.”

“I’m a special kind.” Azriel’s lips curved into the ghost of a smile. “What does a Shadowsinger look like to you?”

“I dunno know. A performer maybe?” Seraphine replied with a shrug of her shoulders, giggling when a shadow brushed across her shoulders in a playful manner. She then studied Azriel again, taking in the numerous weapons strapped to his body and the strength he carried.

“Did you ever kill anyone?”

The hint of the smile dropped from Azriel’s face and he cleared his throat. “We’re getting out of subject here.”

“Alright Sera,” you nervously chided as you reappeared, Cassian trailing behind you. You rested one hand on your little sister’s shoulder while the other brushed against her cheek in a soft warning. You had heard snippets from their conversation and you were worried your sister’s curiosity had offended the Shadowsinger. “That’s enough questions.”

“It’s alright.” Azriel said, politely brushing off your concern. He then turned to his friend. “But we do have to go.”

Seraphine followed Azriel’s gaze and her lips curved into a pout. Slipping from your grasp, she ran to Cassian, tapping his leg to capture his attention. Cassian’s attention drifted back to the young girl and he crouched to be eye level with her, a fond smile gracing his lips.

“You’ll come visit us again, right?” Seraphine asked and with a sudden seriousness, she added: “Friends visit friends often. It’s a rule.”

“Sera–” You started.

“Of course I will.”

Cassian’s gaze locked with yours as he rose to his feet. He gave Seraphine a light pat to her head that had her giggling and then he was standing in front of you. You raised your brows in surprise at him. You thought declining his offer would’ve put him off, so you were surprised he still wanted to see you.

His hand reached for yours and without breaking eye contact, he brought it up to his lips. A small gesture that sent warmth flooding through you--a promise that he would visit again.

“Don’t miss me too much, sweetheart.”

You were at a loss for words, your thoughts a tangled mess. A feeble nod was all you could manage before awkwardly clearing your throat, realizing the weight of what you had agreed to. Cassian must’ve sensed your inner turmoil because he was grinning down at you in response.

He would’ve stayed longer, lost in the moment, if it weren’t for Azriel. The Shadowsinger’s gaze bore into Cassian’s back, prompting him to hesitantly release your hand. He must’ve not been moving fast enough because Azriel was pulling him by the cuff of his leathers, sending a nod in farewell to you.

Even as Azriel guided Cassian out the door and you returned your attention to your little sister, Cassian’s gaze was stuck on you.

Cassian, true to his word, returned a couple of days later, bearing gifts. Flowers adorned with vibrant hues for you and a plush pegasus that resembled the strange but endearing drawing Seraphine had shown him the night they first met. Of course, your little sister was over the moon with him, beaming with delight as she ran around the tavern and clutched the pegasus to her chest.

He returned almost every other night, the two of you falling into a weekly routine with ease. There were times where his visits would be delayed but he always told you ahead of time.

On bustling evenings, he would keep Seraphine company at her table, often coloring and drawing with her. During the quieter tavern nights, the three of you would have dinner together. He would flirt with you shamelessly every time he could, keeping it age appropriate whenever Seraphine was within hearing range but on the moments he had you alone, the teasing words slipping from his lips were sinful. Flirting was new territory to him and he loved trying it with you, rejoicing in every reaction he drew from you.

As the nights would wind down and you closed up the tavern, he would walk the both of you home. If Seraphine was sleepy, Cassian would scoop her up in his arms with a gentleness that melted your heart. On more spirited nights, she would ride atop his shoulders, giggles echoing through the dimly lit streets as her tiny wings spread and she pretended she was flying. Always, his free hand sought yours, and sometimes, you would let him intertwine his fingers with yours.

He was patient with you and you knew that if you had told him to stop, he would. Yet, deep down, you found that you didn’t want him to. You found a quiet pleasure in his presence, a sentiment that bloomed into something more just as the flowers he gifted you did with each shared moment.

The tavern was alive with the lively hum of laughter and clinking glasses as Cassian entered. His eyes quickly sought you out. You moved through the crowd with an effortless grace, your stubborn demeanor evident in the way you navigated the bustling tavern. His fists clenched when one of the males got handsy with you, his hand trailing too low on your back as you tended to his table and he fought the urge to teach the male a lesson when he saw your reaction. But then you were forcing a small smile on your face that didn't reach your eyes and laughing at what the male said with such practiced ease, it tore at his heart a little.

Cassian turned his head, unable to bear the sight any longer. If he did, he worried he'd lead his simmering temper take over and disrupt the lively atmosphere of the tavern.

He spotted Seraphine at her usual table. She was too engrossed in coloring one of the drawings before her, her small tongue peeking out and eyebrows furrowed to notice Cassian. Her pegasus plush, which she had named Scrump, was resting beside her coloring book.

When Cassian spotted you behind the bar, he decided to finally approach you. A charming smile playing on his lips as he rested his elbows on the counter and leant in toward you.

“Hello, Sweetheart.”

Your hand trembled slightly, flustered by his presence as you poured him a drink and you were grateful that there was a physical barrier between the two of you. “Why is your face so close?”

Cassian didn’t miss a beat, his gaze locked onto yours with an intensity that had heat pooling in your stomach and heart fluttering. “Well, do you like it this close?”

When you didn’t respond, Cassian continued. “You know what I just realized?”

“What?” You asked, deciding to entertain him while you handed him his drink.

His fingers brushed against yours, lingering for longer than needed as he took the drink from you. “How utterly adorable it is when you get flustered.”

You shot him a skeptical glance. “You did not just realize it.”

“No,” he grinned, bringing his drink to his lips. “But I wanted an excuse to point it out.”

“Cas Cas!”

Cassian pulled away at the joyous shout of his name and he turned around just in time to catch a beaming Seraphine into his arms. He spun her around playfully, a chuckle escaping him, and your heart felt a twist. As endearing as the gesture was, there was a lingering ache within you. It struck you that your little sister was forming an attachment to the Illyrian male, much like you were, and the uncertainty of it all left you feeling a sense of fear and vulnerability. The two of you had already lost so much.

As the night unfolded, Cassian engaged you in lively banter, sharing stories that drew genuine laughter from you. He learned more about you. Your dreams, your favorite songs and the tales you held close to your heart. The stubborn walls you had built seemed to soften with every visit.

He walked you both home that night. Seraphine had chosen to skip ahead of you two, singing an Illyrian nursery rhyme but his hand like always, was wrapped around yours. When you had reached your doorstep, you unlocked the door for your sister, instructing her to prepare for bed and that you’d be there shortly.

The door was left slightly ajar, in case she needed you, as you leaned against the wooden wall beside it. You opened your mouth to bid Cassian farewell but found yourself at a loss for words as he leaned in. His hand released yours only to cage you into the wall behind you with hands splayed on either side of you. He leaned in, his voice a low whisper. “You know, I’m starting to think, maybe, just maybe, you’re falling for me too.”

A blush tinted your cheeks and you met his gaze. Your playful scoff couldn’t mask the truth in your eyes. There was a softness there that hadn’t been there before. “Maybe you’re not as insufferable as I thought.”

Cassian grinned, the realization of progress sweetening the air. He leant down further, his breath mingling with yours as his gaze flickered to your lips and then back to your eyes. Your eyelids fluttered shut in anticipation but then the warmth grew farther and upon opening your eyes, you found him staring at you.

“What?”

“I just think it’s funny that even on your tiptoes, you still can’t reach me.”

You glared, not realizing that you had, in fact, been standing on your toes to reach his lips. In that charged moment, something sparked within you. Swiftly, you elbowed directly into his gut with ease and on instinct he leaned down with a groan, meeting your level once more. Seizing the opportunity, you captured his lips into a kiss and smiled when you felt him move his mouth against yours.

His tongue swept along your bottom lip and you pulled away, a smug look on your face. “Who’s laughing now?”

“Come here, you,” he said, his voice a breathless whisper as he leant down once more. With the help of his hand on the back of your neck, he guided you close, his lips pressing against yours. This time, when he slid his tongue along your bottom lip, you didn’t pull away, choosing to allow him in instead, tentatively opening your heart to the possibility of love.

Cassian didn’t visit the following day or the day after that. It had been two whole weeks since his last visit, the night you two kissed. You wondered if you had scared him away. Maybe, he realized he didn’t like you after all, reducing all you two shared to nothing but physical attraction.

These thoughts did nothing to soothe you and you couldn’t help it when the pain that had been lingering deep within your chest resurfaced as you noticed Seraphine’s head lift in anticipation every time the door to the tavern was opening only to be met with disappointment.

Finally, almost a whole month later, Cassian appeared. His cheeks were flushed from the cold winter air. Seraphine did a double take, her eyes widening in a mixture of joy and disbelief as she recognized her friend. She ran up to him, the question she had been asking you every night tumbling from her lips. “Cassian, where have you been? I missed you! Scrumps missed you too!”

“I’m sorry, little one.” Cassian frowned, patting the back of her hair as she clung onto his leg. “I missed you, too.”

You approached the two, arms folded across your chest. There was a look in your eyes he couldn’t quite discern–apprehension, perhaps– and it filled him with unease. “I’m sorry I didn’t give you a heads up, Sweetheart. Rhysand sent me on a mission and–”

“It’s okay. You don’t owe us an explanation,” you were interrupting, motioning for him to follow you to the table Seraphine sat at every night. Your voice was quiet, a low murmur, as your next words slipped out of your mouth. “You don’t owe us anything.”

But Cassian heard it–the weight in your words. That unspoken ache. The unease in his chest grew. He didn’t mean to hurt you.

The walls Cassian had once broken down were now back up and he hated the distance that had settled between you.

Since the tavern was quiet and idle, the three of you had dinner together and he dedicated it all to you and your sister, wanting to know what he had missed. He discovered that Seraphine had lost a tooth, chuckling when she eagerly showed him the gap where her front tooth once resided and the amusing whistling sound she could now produce. Relief washed over him when, finally, you smiled at him again over something he had said. It led you back to your usual banter, offering a fleeting but welcomed respite from the awkward tension that had momentarily taken hold.

You gradually allowed him back in, though this time, with a more guarded embrace.

“And what about you, my sweets?” Cassian’s attention was on you, wanting to know what you had been up to the past couple of weeks.

“It’s been quiet here without you.” You admitted, oblivious to the fact you hadn’t quite answered his question.

Cassian’s eyes brightened. “You missed me.”

You choked on your ale, bringing your hand to your chest. “I didn’t say that.”

Cassian turned to Seraphine with a grin. “She just said she missed me, right?”

“Definitely.” Seraphine replied almost instantly, mirroring the curve of his lips with a toothy grin of her own.

“Traitor,” you playfully accused your sister with a roll of your eyes. She stuck her tongue out at you and you chuckled. Not wanting to dwell on your small confession for too long, you shifted to rise from your seat, deciding now was the perfect time to return to your duties.

Cassian’s hand sought out yours, gently halting you. “Hey, since you missed me so much, why don’t you go out with–”

“Cassian, I told you. I can’t. I–” Your voice hushed, gaze flickering to your little sister, who finished her dinner. Grateful that she was engrossed in conversation with Scrumps, her pegasus plush, you added, "I have a lot to deal with right now."

Before you could say anything more, or he could respond, the call from one of your tables beckoned you away. An apology reflected in your eyes as you left, and Cassian watched with a hint of longing as you attended to your duties.

"Don't worry," Seraphine's voice drew his attention away. He turned to the young girl, who munched on her food with an air of amusement in her eyes. "She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know. I read her diary."

“She thinks it's fancy?”

Cassian's hand instinctively reached up toward his hair, currently tied up in a loose bun. Her innocent words stirred a spark of hope within him. Although you were stubborn, he could sense that you wanted--you longed--for him too.

He would not give up on you, refusing to surrender the love that continued to bloom within his heart.

tag: @kemillyfreitas

a/n: i watched lilo & stitch while writing this part and Cobra bubbles lowkey gave me Azriel vibes so I couldn't help but incorporate that small scene of Lilo asking him if he ever killed anyone lol. the next part might be posted tomorrow, depending on how far I get along with my studies for the day. i plan to finish this series soon <3

#cassian x reader #cassian imagine #cassian fluff #cassian smut #cassian x you #cassian x y/n #cassian acotar #acotar x reader #acotar imagine #cassian acotar imagine #cassian #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar fluff #acotar smut #soy

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 8 months

Text

If I Fell For You: Worst Nightmare

Summary: Jensen's worst nightmare is about to come true...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 1,600ish

Warnings: language, heavy mentions of injury/blood/car accident

A/N: The agnst is strong...

________

Shouting woke you up. Very loud, very upset shouting. You blinked, slowly turning your head and finding the world was upside down. There was something to your left, something bent and the smell of metal and blood in the air made your nose twinge.

Then you remembered you were in the car. Driving on the highway to the brewery to grab some pizza and a few beers to bring home for dinner. You turned and touched the metal panel, the front of the car or part of the roof was your guess, now smack dab in the center console and cutting you off from the other side.

“Jay,” you croaked out. The shouting stopped and you squeezed your eyes shut. “Jensen. I’m okay.”

“Y/N,” he said as you remembered him shoving a hand in front of your chest.

“Please tell me you’re in one piece,” you whispered.

“Yeah, I-I think so. Y-You?”

“I think so too,” you said, putting a hand on the roof below you, the windshield caved in, passenger door looking like a crumbled piece of paper. “Jay, I’m stuck in here.”

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I think it’s just bumps and bruises,” you said. “Can you move?”

“No,” he said quietly, not saying another word.

“Are you hurt?” He didn’t respond and you hit the panel between you. “Hey! Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay.”

“Dammit, tell me the truth.”

“My arm is cut up some but I’m okay. I can’t…fuck I can’t get out either.” He slapped the metal piece between you and you shushed him. “Y/N-“

“Relax honey. Sh, relax. I’m right here. I’m gonna be okay and you’re gonna…be okay…it’s going to be just fine. Just…just do your breathing that Ray showed you when you get anxious okay? It’ll…be okay,” you said, pressing your hand against your bleeding leg. “Shit.”

“You sound hurt,” he breathed out. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m uh, bleeding from my thigh. It’s not gushing so it couldn’t have been anything too bad, right?” you tried to joke, Jensen slamming against the panel again. “It’s not that deep. Also I’m pretty sure I have pizza in my hair.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I hope you like the smell of marinara cause that’s gonna take forever to wash out,” you said, trying to leverage yourself against the roof of the car. “Now’s as good a time as any to tell you this.”

“Tell me what?” he asked quietly. “Are you-”

“Led Zeppelin sucks and I cannot believe you have so many of their original records. Don’t even get me started on your infatuation with fucking country music. I hate country music and I think it’s time I put my foot down and ban it from the house. What do you say?” you said, squeezing your palm hard over your leg.

He let out a quiet huff of air that was akin to a dry laugh.

“I say you’re trying to distract me which either means you’re seriously fucked up over there and not telling me or you’re trying to keep me from having a panic attack by falsely insulting my music. So-”

“Hey, I do not like country as much as you and those are facts.”

“I know you don’t yet you listen to it for me,” he said, realizing for the first time it was still playing on the radio. “Imagine if you had to die listening to music you hated.”

“I’d live out of pure spite,” you said, Jensen chuckling a little. “I promise it’s the later. Trust me. If it were bad, I’d be asking you all sorts of shit about Dee so we can shit talk your music choices in the afterlife.”

He laughed for a split second, grunting loudly and making your heart race. “Yeah, you’re okay. Or not actively dying at least.”

“Not doing that. On the negative, everything hurts but positive side, I smell like pizza and beer, two of your favorite things.”

“Always got those silver linings,” he said as you heard sirens in the distance. “Y/N?”

“Yeah, honey?”

“You know how I said my arm was cut up?” he said, swallowing thickly. The pit in your stomach dropped, eyes closing.

“How bad is it?” you whispered.

“Bad enough I wrapped my belt around my arm to stop the bleeding.”

“Be honest. Please,” you said, wishing you could do something, anything. The silence was deafening, his labored inhale the only indication that he was still awake. “How bad?”

“There’s a piece of metal sticking out of my forearm. Pretty sure it sliced through the veins in there judging by the amount of blood.” You fought back tears, taking a shaky breath. “I’m really cold and tired. But I’m gonna stay awake-”

“Write me a song. Write me a fucking country song right now,” you said, forcing your eyes open. “What’s the melody?”

“Uh, what?” he asked. “Y/N, I’m-”

“I know what you’re saying and you can stay up until dawn even when you’re exhausted when you’re working on music so you write me a damn song right now and stay the fuck awake,” you croaked out.

“Well I need a banjo in there because I know that’s your favorite,” he teased, car doors slamming nearby.

“You’re a dickhead,” you said, Jensen chuckling. “Alright, banjo. What else?”

“Violin and a cello somehow. You fucking love the sound of-”

“Him first!” you shouted when you saw some boots in front of you, quickly watching them jog to his side of the car.

“Oh shit,” one of the responders said and with that, your heart truly sank, unsure if it would ever come back up.

They’d gotten Jensen out of the car first and carted off by the time you had a makeshift bandage around your thigh. Something felt off with your leg and several hours and a surgery later, your foot was in a cast. But when you woke up in post-op, Jensen wasn’t there, a nurse telling you he was still in the operation room.

So now all you could do was sit in a room in the ICU, staring out the glass door, praying you saw Jensen. It felt like the longest twenty three minutes of your life.

You shot straight up in bed when you saw a sleepy looking Jensen getting stopped in a bed outside your door.

“Whoa. I want to stay in the hot girl’s room,” he murmured, winking lazily at you. Yeah, he was definitely hopped up on something, his right arm wrapped and wrapped and wrapped in a thick mass of bandages.

“Let’s leave her alone,” said the nurse behind the bed, pushing him forward again, making him shout. She froze, Jensen staring in your room, shaking his head out.

“That’s my wife. I want to be with her.” The nurse sighed, Jensen’s face falling. “Please,” he whispered, voice cracking.

“You can see her in a minute, I promise,” she said, pushing him along. You waited exactly four minutes before slamming the nurse button over and over, one entering your room, giving you an annoyed glare.

“You should be sleeping,” she said. “You need to rest.”

“My husband is on the other side of this wall and last time I saw him he was bleeding out so I think a five minute field trip is more than fair-”

“He’s asleep like you should be.” You stared her down, the nurse eventually relenting. “Just stay there.” She left and returned after three minutes, shoving an ipad in your hand. “We used these during the pandemic. You can facetime him for a few minutes but then you both need sleep.”

She tapped a number and a split second later, Jensen’s beat up face appeared on screen.

“Well if ain’t the hot girl calling me from her bed,” he teased, the nurse rolling her eyes and leaving. “Are you alone?”

“Yeah. How are you?” you asked. He held up his injured arm and sighed. “You’re alive and that’s what matters.”

“I’m going to need physical therapy again. Months to recover and rebuild the muscle in my forearm. I already know it. You too with that foot of yours.” He rested his head against his pillow. “What about that cut on your leg?”

“Just gotta lay off it for a bit. It’s the same leg as my broken foot so that’ll be easy.” You both just stared at each other for a moment, a mess of bruises and small cuts littering your skin. “We’ll get through this.”

“I know.” He glanced down, closing his eyes. “I didn’t realize I was bleeding so bad until you made me calm down by insulting one of the best bands in history. You saved my neck.”

“That only happened because you put your arm in front of me. It could have been so much worse and-”

“Silly girl,” he murmured, slowly forcing his eyelids open, a softness to them you weren’t expecting. “I’ll always protect you. If you get a little less hurt because I did then that’s a win for me.”

Your bottom lip wobbled, Jensen shushing you. “Don’t say things like that, Jay.”

“Says the girl who stopped me from having a full on panic attack during arguably my worst nightmare. We protect each other, that’s how it works.” You smiled, Jensen returning it. “I’m taking you to a country music festival when we’re up for it in honor of saving me.”

“I want a divorce.”

He laughed so loud you heard it echo down the hall. He’d be okay again. You both would.

Eventually.

_________

#jensen x reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles x reader #jensen fanfic #timestamp

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ickadori · 24 days

Note

Ahhhhh bae u popped off with the sukuna smut 😭 u returned and with a vengeance bc OMG. My stomach dropped when he said the baby part, and pretending to delete her essay, hes sooooo mean istg i have never been wetter. Im gonna be thinking about THIS sukuna for the next few days bc hes so yummyyyyyyy. The kind of yummy u daydream abt and cant even think of anything bc HOW did u characterize him like that?!?!?! Im obsessed, stuuuupid obsessed with him- also her being yuuji's girl is insane IDC i would fold so bad for him hehsksksk like pretend to be drunk and go into the 'wrong bedroom' and wake him up with the messiest head ughhhhhh

Choso's bbg anon (tho i might have to change my name soon 🤧)

cws for reader being a dirtball (infidelity). dubcon oral (sukuna is sleeping but wakes up and is into it). degradation. brief mention of drugs (weed).

choso bbg anon heyyyu!!!!!! hehe how are you :3 i’m glad you liked that sukuna thing 😭 im trying to get back into the groove of writing before working on the stuff i abandoned iskdkd

You were drunk, but you weren’t that drunk.

You had been in Yuji and Sukuna’s shared apartment many times, and you had the placed mapped out clearly in your mind. You could navigate it in your dark if needed, and yet you had found yourself in a room staunchly different from your boyfriend’s.

While Yuji’s bedroom was a bit messy, yet still appearing clean, and had posters plastered on his walls that you were slowly convincing him to replace with actual good decorative pieces — it was boyish, full of that boyish charm that had originally drawn you to him in the first place, but this one was more…mature.

The room was dark, a digital clock on the other side of the room offering a dim illumination, but you could make out the black, abstract paintings placed on the walls, the shoes neatly lined on a rack, the absence of clothes scarcely thrown about the room. It was clean, tidy, smelled faintly of cleaning chemicals and strongly of marijuana.

It most certainly was not your boyfriend’s room, and yet you still found yourself shutting the door and creeping towards his bed, plush carpet feeling like heaven underneath your feet, feet that had been confined in heels for the entirety of your girl’s night out.

After five steps your shins hit the bed, and perhaps you’re a bit drunker than you originally thought, because you go tumbling face first into the mattress with a muffled yelp followed by a flurry of giggles as you right yourself.

There’s a large lump underneath the covers, and you begin to feel over it with your hands, lips pursed and head tilted as you try to remember why you had originally come in here. Your mind is a little sloshy thanks to the cocktails your friends had practically dumped down your throat, but you can somewhat remember the tipsy conversation the lot of you had that had prompted your current actions.

It was centered around Sukuna, because of course it was, or more specifically, how fucking hot he was and if he was a good lay or not, their words, not yours. You shouldn’t have paid the conversation any attention with you being Yuji’s girlfriend (you use the term loosely - the both of you had only just started dating) and Sukuna being his brother, but you couldn’t deny that you had wondered the same thing as well.

You had caught a few risqué peeks at what he was hiding underneath his work overalls that were frequently stained with engine oil, and you couldn’t deny that it seemed to be a nice size (him and Yuji had that in common it seemed), but size didn’t always equate to performance, as you had unfortunately learned with past partners.

You come back to the present when you manage to pull Sukuna’s covers off to the side, revealing a nearly naked man underneath. The illumination from the digital clock casts a glow over him, and a pulse starts between your thighs as you taken in the hard earned muscles that’re covered in various tattoos.

You audibly swoon.

Before you can think about the consequences of your actions, both good and bad, your fingers are already tugging at the front of his boxers and pulling down to reveal a thick, erect cock. You let out a shaky breath at the sight. It’s…big. Bigger than Yuji’s by a tad - thick from base to tip. It thuds against his stomach, twitching at the contact, and you shuffle closer, saliva pooling in your mouth as you lower your head.

The scent of his body wash is strong, but you can detect a bit of his natural musk underneath it, the smell growing stronger the closer you get, and you breathe in deep as the heat emanating from his cock warms your lips.

This is bad, terrible even! You think, and yet your tongue still flicks out to lick up the underside of his shaft, lashes fluttering at the taste of him. He shifts a bit but you pay it no attention, lips closing around the thick head and suckling. His pre-cum hits your tastebuds, and you can’t help the moan that you let out, head slowly bobbing as you work more of him into your mouth.

Drool trails down the length of his shaft and wets the pink mess of curls at his groin, and you gag as you take him in further and breathe hard through your nose. Your head pulls back, cock slipping out of your mouth with a wet pop, and there’s not a thought in your mind as you quickly take him back in, tongue lapping at his leaking slit before you’re taking him into your throat.

Your panties become sticky with your slick, and you tightly press your thighs together as your head quickly bobs up and down, cock slipping further and further until your nose is nestled in his pubic hair and your eyes are squeezed shut.

You go to pull back for a much needed breath of air, only for two hands to grab ahold of the sides of your head and keep you in place. A low, tired tsk sounds, and your hole clenches around nothing as you blink your eyes open to just barely make out Sukuna’s face.

“And Yuji liked you so much,” he grinds his hips up into your face, forcing another gag from you, and his legs move so his feet are flat on the bed, hands still keeping you in place. “Even asked me what can kind of promise ring to get you.” His hands move to fist at your hair, and you wince as he pulls your head up, cock slipping from your mouth once again. You whine at the loss. “And look at you - gagging on his brother’s cock. Didn’t even have to ask.”

“Suku—”

“Shut the fuck up and keep your mouth open.” You gasp at his words, and he takes the moment to force himself back in, cockhead plunging in deep and making your hands fly up to grab ahold of muscled thighs. “That idiot always finds the sluttiest girls. The ones that think with their slutty fucking cunts and nothing else.”

His voice is near a growl as he fucks your face, a mixture of drool and pre-cum spilling down your chin as your ‘slutty fucking cunt’ clenches around nothing - oh!

Your lashes flutter shut as your muscles seize up, a muffled moan sounding past the cock lodged down your throat, and Sukuna pauses for a beat.

“Nasty bitch. You just came, didn’t you?” You don’t have the dignity to shake your head, instead squeezing your thighs together tighter as your tongue moves against his length. He grins through a dark laugh as he cants his hips down, tip of his cock nestled between your now swollen lips, before snapping them up.

“Yeah, ‘m gonna have fun with you.”

#sukuna x reader #jjk smut #and wdym you’re gonna change your name soon 😭😭#TO WHO #SUKUNW???

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hearts4hughes · 1 year

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regrets | jack hughes

jack hughes x fem! reader

part one

a/n: i rewrote this about a million times, and i can’t seem to settle on something i’m proud of, so i landed on this. i’m aware it’s rushed at the end, but it was so difficult for me to get ideas for this part 2.

warnings: swearing, alcohol, talk of toxic friendship

gif is not mine

two weeks.

it’s been two weeks since you destroyed your relationship with jack. well, destroyed what was left of it.

the morning after, you woke up to twenty missed calls and about thirty texts- all from jack- along with a pounding headache. you chose to ignore his existence, skimming through the texts, and deleting all voicemails.

that has been your routine since it happened. you’d wake up with a tear stained face, puffy eyes, and delete all the ‘apologies’ jack had sent. various people had told you to block his number, but you couldn’t. he was still the same jack that you became best friends with, and that’s what kept you trapped in.

“i’ll take another.” you wave the bartender over, asking for what was probably your fourth drink of the night. he nods, making the alcoholic beverage.

getting handed the drink, you throw back the mix of tequila and various juices. every sip washes away your memories of that night. you can’t cry about something you can’t remember, and that logic made you more and more desperate to wash away your sorrows with liquor.

“how many of those have you had tonight?” you almost drop your glass at the sound of that voice. the same voice that used to be comforting, but now only reminds you of the horror and pain it carries.

slowly, you turn your head to look at jack. his eyes lock with yours, dull of their usual shimmer. he sends you a half-smile- if you can even call it that. without another word, you fly to your feet, making a one way exit out of the bar.

“miss, you have you pay for your drink!” the bartender yells out. coming to a halt, you turn around, motioning your head towards jack.

“he’s going to take my tab.” you beam, hoping that will slow jack down a little bit. he awkwardly smiles, pulling out $100 and giving it to the bartender, not caring how much lower the original bill was. hastily, he spins on his heels, praying he catches you before you escape.

if it weren’t for your stiletto heels, you’d be sprinting down the street like a runner, not caring where the finish line was. however, you could compromise with speed walking.

“y/n!” jack calls out. you didn’t bother to turn around, already knowing he was right on your tail. you pick up speed, looking both ways, and crossing the street. “y/n!” he yells again.

just as you thought you got away, a strong hand grabs your bicep, causing you to stop in your tracks. you turn around, eyes shooting daggers at him.

“let me go.” you command. your voice cold and authoritative. obeying your wishes, he releases you from his hold.

you swiftly turn around, ready to run at full speed down the main road.

“wait, please.” he begs. “let me drive you home and we can talk about everything.” the street light reveals jack’s features more in-depth. dark circles lay just under his beautiful blue eyes, that are bloodshot due to crying. he was just as broken as you.

“i’m not sure, jack.” your eyes flick to the ground, tracing the cracks and curves in the sidewalk.

if he took you home, he’d only pull you back into the vicious cycle that you both called a ‘friendship’.

“please.” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. your eyes finally land on his. you scan the regretful look plastered across his face. his lips are turned downward into a frown, eyes droopy and glassy, and his once tan complexion was now pale.

your eyes flick down to your shoes, not completely letting the pity overtake you. “ok.” you nod. his face lights up into a small smile.

“ok, good.” his voice is much happier, “my car is in the parking lot back there.” he leads you to his car, looking back ever so often, just to make sure your still there.

warily, you step into jack’s passenger seat. the car reeked of his smell, and with every deep breath, the memories you tried to erase, flooded back. you swallowed hard, telling yourself it was a mistake to ever allow him to persuade you into this.

“are you ok?” he asks, reading your mind. “you didn’t make a mistake by allowing me to bring you home, y/n/n.” the use of your nickname makes you wince. “i’m not going to give up on our relationship without explaining first.��

he said relationship.

not friendship.

relationship.

“i didn’t even say anything.” you snap, causing him to flinch.

jack swallows hard. he’s not used to the harsh actions coming from you. you were always jack’s rock. his shoulder to cry on when he needed you. he never thought his actions would’ve been thought of as leading you on, but then again, he doesn’t use his brain that much.

“yeah, but you’re thinking it. i can tell.” he mumbles, grabbing his phone and throwing it over to you. confused, you accept it, searching jack’s face for any clues of what you were supposed to do.

his face falls when he notices your confused actions. it was muscle memory for him to pass you this phone in the car, waiting for you to serenade him with your music. he even made a playlist for you because at that point, you owned his car radio.

“you always have the aux, remember?” he clarifies, bewildered how after only a few weeks, you had forgotten basic routines.

as the gears turn in your head, you tap on the playlist titled, ‘y/n/n <3’, and allow the soft sounds of taylor swift to whisk you away from reality.

the car ride was fairly short, considering your house was just down the road. you roughly shove your key into the keyhole and allowing him into your apartment. even during the depressing past weeks, you managed to keep your apartment clean. you needed some sort of distraction, and busying your mind with cleaning was the perfect one.

he crept into the home, letting his eyes wander all around as if he’d never seen it before. his finger tips grazed the wooden coffee table, admiring the floral arrangement strategically placed on it. he’d always loved how you decorated your apartment. it never failed to brighten his day when he saw the photos and memories that decorated the walls.

“kinda thought you would’ve taken this down after what happened.” he broke the deafening silence, picking up a framed photo of you and him at a carnival. you both shared a huge bag of cotton candy, his jacket covering your body, and his arm slung around your shoulders. you had always joked that when you brought men over and they saw that photo, they’d get scared away, not wanting to get involved with your nhl ‘boyfriend’.

“what are you here for, jack?” you ask, not entertaining his antics. he’s trying to butter you up. making you relive all the memories from the past and automatically forgive him, but it wasn’t going to work.

his body tenses as he places the photo down. “you know what i’m here for.” he insinuated, moving closer to you. “i need to explain. everything.”

you stood your ground, standing tall and confident. nodding your head, you urged him to continue.

“i’m so sorry for everything.” he began. “i led you on, lied to you, and made our relationship toxic. i took you for granted, y/n, and i regret it every single day.”

you stood there in silence, waiting for more to come from his apology.

he swallowed hard before starting to speak once again. “i’m going to be honest with you. i’m absolutely in love with you. more than just as friends. fuck, i have been since i met you.” he takes in a sharp breath, putting his hand behind his neck and throwing his head back. “i’m- i’m not good with emotions and feelings. this is going to sound pathetic, but the only thing i’ve truly loved besides my family was hockey. then you came along and changed that.”

tears started to swell in your eyes at his words. your body practically gives out as you slowly position yourself in the loveseat next to you.

you were seeing a whole other side to jack. he rarely ever opened up about his emotions like this. you were both confused as of what to do. the love related emotions being so foreign.

finally, he looks back down, locking eyes with you once again. the second he sees your watery eyes, the tears start to pour out of his. “i used all those other girls as distractions because i knew i couldn’t be with you. i knew i’d ruin you if we were together, and i couldn’t take it.” he admits through hiccuped breaths. “but i never would’ve thought that all of this would be hurting you just as bad.”

“oh, jack.” you coo, holding your hand out as a signal for him to join you on the small chair. “i wish you would’ve just told me this before.” he takes your hand, slowly placing himself next to you. your hand tangles with his hair as you pull him into your neck.

you both cry in the comfort of each others embrace. his arms wrapped around your torso, pulling you as close as possible. one of your hands massaging his scalp. while the other comfortingly rubbed up and down his back.

“i understand if you don’t forgive me. i promise i do.” he mumbles against your neck.

his words shoot a pang of hurt to your heart. “why would i not forgive you?” your voice was soft and soothing.

he says nothing in reply, not trying to make you forgive him out of pity. “jack, everyone has their ups and downs once in a while. what’s going to make our relationship strong is if we work through them together. i forgive you because you were trying to navigate your feels and ended up getting lost.”

“i love you so much,” he places soft kisses on the inside of your neck, “but we can’t be together. i’m only going to hurt you, and i don’t want that.”

“what’s hurting me more is that we aren’t together.” you retort. “let’s just try to make this work…please.” you plead.

“together?” he pulls away. his tear stained eyes meeting yours.

“together.” you reassure, kissing his lips gently.

#hearts4hughes #new jersey devils #jack hughes #nhl imagine #hockey blurb #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes imagines #nora's writings 💐

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piratefishmama · 1 year

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Crossing the Line | Part 12

Using the word ‘Conflicted’ for what Eddie was currently feeling was… an understatement. On the one hand, good lord he’d almost came in his jeans from just a tongue down his throat, a very very talented tongue belonging to a very very attractive man. On the other, that man had basically just pretended to like his music to get into his pants.

Eddie had never had that happen before. He didn’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.

He did, however, know that he was ignoring the DM on Insta from that very same attractive man, the message full of blushy emojis and how he’d ‘forgotten’ to leave his number, dropping the digits right there in plain view.

He had Steve Harrington’s personal phone number. Holy shit.

He was ignoring it. Left it on read. Didn’t know what to do with it. If push came to shove and he made a decision in Steve’s favour then he’d just claim he was busy with the band at the shitty diner after the show. He stuffed a handful of lukewarm fries in his mouth, ketchup smearing the corners of his lips. If he decided against Steve then… he’d block him and forget all about him, and hope he wouldn’t show up at the coffee shop.

“I mean, if they were earplugs, then they were pretty shit earplugs, Eds” Gareth was the only one supplying a sound argument, he had ulterior motives though, he had bias to stick up for Steve! He was aiming to get the hell out of retail, and it showed.

“What?” Frank cut in with that expression on his face that blatantly said are you hearing this shit?

“I mean, he answered us all pretty easily, he had a full conversation with us! Didn’t even seem like he was struggling to hear us. Earplugs would have made it difficult to hear, right? Maybe they were something else!” All very valid points. Or… a very valid singular point.

“No he didn’t, dude, he vaguely responded to Jeff’s babbling, that he definitely could have vaguely heard through the earplugs, then left. I dunno about you but sometimes, I can definitely hear around earplugs, they’re probably just the cheap ones you get at the airport or something.”

“Dude what is your deal?”

“What’s my deal? Why are you so pro Steve Harrington?”

“He’s sick of Paul.” Jeff supplied helpfully around the straw of his chocolate milkshake.

“It’s Ralph, Paul quit last month remember?”

“Whaaatt Paul quit? Man what about him and Rhonda?"

“That’s why he quit! She got a promotion, and they couldn’t work toge—what am I even, this isn’t about Paul and Rhonda!”

“Shut up!!” Eddie’s outburst silenced the others, and also gained the attention of the drunk teens across the diner, they didn’t move though, stared for a second, before going back to their terrible ‘night out’ food. “What should I do?” He couldn’t make a decision on his own. There were too many what ifs, too many how dare he’s, too many thoughts and they were all so very loud. His friends talking over each other really wasn’t helping. “Should I… confront him? Should I just ask him about it, should I ignore him completely and hope he just goes away?”

“I think, you should talk to him.” Eddie looked up, the returning figure of the angel of Corroded Coffin, his original best friend, honorary band member. Chrissy. The girl carrying two shakes, followed closely by Nancy. “Listen, ignoring Gareth’s need to get away from retail, sorry Gare”

“It’s cool, I’ve accepted my fate.”

“Ignoring Jeff’s blatant hero worship.”

“He’s known worldwide, he did modelling in Japan, Chris! He’s a massive star!”

“And ignoring Frank’s scepticism.”

“The only sane person here you mean. Nobody recognised him tonight, Jeff, worldwide my ass.”

“Ignoring, them.” Chrissy sighed, placing hers and Nancy’s shakes down before climbing into the booth beside Eddie, Nancy following suit forcing him up against the wall. “I think you should give him a chance. He’s come all this way, he paid for tickets to see you even though he obviously didn’t have to. Did you talk to him while the others were out of the room?”

“Mhm”

“And did he talk back without any issue?”

“…Yeah.”

“Okay, so, these earplugs might not even be earplugs. There’s plenty of things that they could be! Hell, he could have issues with his eardrums for all we know! That’s pretty common in the music industry” loud instruments, huge speakers around you, he could have just been born with it for all they knew “—and there’s earplug looking things that help with eardrum issues, they could even be those sneaky 'invisible' hearing aids! You should talk to him, it’s the only way you’re gonna know for sure.”

“You just wanna flirt with his friend some more.”

“Frank I swear to god.”

“She’s right” Nancy sighed “try conjuring an ulterior motive for me you little shit.” Nancy levelled Frank with a sharp glare, he wisely chose to stay silent. She looked back to Eddie with a small smile “He spoke with me too, even over the music near the bar so I don’t think they were earplugs either. And you like him, right?”

“…I really do.” He hadn’t at first, he’d made assumptions, he’d jumped to conclusions, he’d let his music snobbery get the best of him, but then he did his research. Then he looked the guy up, his accomplishments, his skills, his general personality that shined like sunlight around the right people, he took what’d happened at the coffee shop into consideration, and then the kiss… his lips still tingled, his neck still tingled! His body still craved what’d been abruptly cut short. “He’s… he’s really nice, Nance…”

“Yeah, he seems really nice, and if he’s not? I have a revolver in my glove box.” Eddie let out a soft breath of a laugh, which lit Nancy’s face up as if she’d taken that as a personal victory. “Reply to the text, or DM, or whatever he’s sent you, I saw you looking at it on the way over here. Set something up and ask him when you get there, you’ll only regret it if you don’t.”

“…We’re supposed to be having dinner tomorrow night where he’s staying, just me and him.” And he was… so nervous didn’t seem quite the right word for how nervous he actually was. What would happen if he went? That kiss had turned filthy so quickly and he’d wanted it. He’d wanted it so badly, would tomorrow be the night? Should he prepare or—

“Great! Set up a time and find out the address.” Nancy didn’t even give him time to step onto the spiral. “It’ll be okay, we’re a call away if something goes wrong, or if he turns out to be an asshole, alright?”

“…Alright. Now let me dip my fries in your shake.”

“Ew, no!”

Part 14

#PirateWrites #crossing the line #Steddie #Ficlet #no upside down au #Nancy and Chrissy are honorary band members lmao

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legendary-defender-of-fandoms · 1 month

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You want to know the worst thing about Ralph Breaks the Internet?

It wasn’t the already-dated Internet jokes & references - we all knew going in that stuff was never going to work.

It wasn’t the new characters - honestly, they’re all fine (except maybe Double Dan - Alfred Molina deserves better!).

It wasn’t the exclusion of Felix & Calhoun (my delusional ass is still waiting for a short film about the two raising the Sugar Rush racers.)

It wasn’t even the thousands of details they ignored, retconned, or forgot from the original Wreck-it Ralph (Fix-it Felix Jr. was THIRTY years old when Ralph met Vanellope, Vanellope ABDICATED HER THRONE in favor of a constitutional democracy so everyone in Sugar Rush would have a say in how the game was run, Sugar Rush was a two-seater racing game, etc.)

No, the absolute, positively, undeniably worst thing Ralph Breaks the Internet did was tarnish & distort Ralph so thoroughly it made us all question if the original movie was even that good to begin with.

Everything else in Ralph Breaks the Internet could be forgiven or overlooked. But what they did to Ralph is just baffling. He was never going to be mistaken for a Rhodes scholar in the first movie, but he WAS smarter than the doofus who couldn’t even name a graduation cap in the sequel.

Wasn’t he?

And he wasn’t a gross slob by choice - he HATED living in the dump (I believe his exact words were “NOT cool! Unhygienic, and lonely! And boring.”) but he was kind of stuck there because the game literally left him nowhere else to stay. That’s why in the epilogue he decided to finally make something of his situation by building himself a proper shack instead of just camping on the bricks.

Wasn’t it?

And Ralph had many flaws in the first film - he had a short temper, he was a little clumsy, he broke things by accident just because he was a little too strong or things weren’t made for someone with his physical abilities in mind, he was stubborn, he had a one-track mind and couldn’t be deterred from his short-term goals no matter the long-term consequences. But the one thing he WASN’T was insecure. He knew his own strengths & weaknesses, and he wasn’t trying to change himself to win anyone’s approval. He was just trying to find VALIDATION, a way to satisfy the small-minded Nicelanders and prove to them (and himself) that he had value as he was.

Wasn’t he?

I’m terrified to rewatch the original movie now because I’m afraid the Wreck-it Ralph in my head is based on lies & fanfics, and the real Wreck-it Ralph was ALWAYS some insecure doofus with no accountability or self reflection.

And you know the absolutely insane part? Disney is doing their absolute darndest to pretend Ralph doesn’t exist. AND HE’S THE TITLE CHARACTER OF HIS OWN IP!!!!! There’s a new chapter book series about Vanellope & some of the Sugar Rush Racers getting stuck in a little girl’s tablet, and Ralph’s ONLY appearance so far is a line-drop in the first book when Vanellope says she left him sleeping in Game Central Station while all the consoles were unplugged for a remodeling of Litwak’s Arcade. WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Remember how EVERYONE in the first movie lost their shit at the possibility of their game being unplugged, treating it like an Apocalypse? Remember how even the sequel did a halfway decent job reminding folks that having a game unplugged was a Big Deal? Now everyone’s just chill axing on vacation in Game Central Station (which is NOT BIG ENOUGH to hold every single game character - it could barely fit the Sugar Rush citizens when they got unplugged) and Ralph is snoozing in a corner while his daughter is accidentally whisked away to some girl’s tablet.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!

The Wreck-it Ralph from the first movie wouldn’t be asleep in a corner when he could be spending time with Vanellope. And THAT man would go through Hell & high water to find her! While Vanellope & her gang are helping Molly (the kid with the tablet) learn about friendship & camping or whatever, Ralph should be an absolute MENACE online, tearing through every website, personal device, and Cloud account looking for his little girl!

Right? Wrong?

Did we all delude ourselves into thinking Ralph was deeper than he was intended to be? Or does Disney just hate Wreck-it Ralph now? And if it’s the latter, why? WHY do they hate him? Why do they want US to not care about him? Is it because he’s the last of the Lasseter projects? Did John C. Reilly and Bob Iger have some sort of falling-out? Did the FANBASE do something to put Disney staff off from ever wanting to do anything with Wreck-it Ralph ever again?

I think I could move on if I knew for certain whether Disney actively sabotaged Wreck-it Ralph with his sequel & subsequent exclusions from merchandise & multi-IP projects, or if I was just crazy for ever liking this character or his movie to begin with. It’s the not knowing that kills me.

#disney #wreck it Ralph #wir #Ralph breaks the Internet #RBTI #it’s over isn’t it #why can’t I move on #rant #rambling #someone please tell me if I’m crazy #or spill ALL the tea about that sequel

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vivitalks · 5 days

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Last night I saw the Great Gatsby musical. Before I went, I reread the Great Gatsby book (for the first time since 11th grade!) to get a refresher on the source material and the original story. Having the book so fresh in my mind made seeing the musical really interesting, and now I am going to do something I never thought I'd do, which is post some lengthy meta about The Great Gatsby. If you haven't seen the musical, this post may still be interesting to read, but it does contain some mild spoilers, so I leave that up to you. If you also haven't read the book, godspeed lol.

There's a lot I could talk about here when it comes to the way the book was adapted for the stage. But there's one particular thing I want to zero in on in this post, and that's the "unreliable narrator" of it all.

In the book, Nick Carraway is our narrator. He's an unreliable narrator practically by default - the idea is that he's retelling events that occurred two years prior, from memory. But even knowing that Nick is probably not reporting all events and characters with complete accuracy, it's hard to know which parts exactly are wrong, or what might have happened in reality, because even though he's an unreliable narrator, he's still the only narrator and this is the only version of events we know. We're forced to take Nick as our surrogate and take him at his word. Until the musical.

(I wondered how the show was going to deal with the fact that the story of Great Gatsby is not only told by an unreliable narrator but also by an outside perspective - generally speaking the events of the Great Gatsby aren't happening to Nick, they're just kind of happening around him. Yet he's the voice of the story, so in that way he's central to it, and I was curious how they were going to balance that fact with the fact that Gatsby is functionally the main character.

I think they struck a really good balance in the end. Nick's beginning and ending lines, lifted verbatim from his book narration, frame him clearly as the anchor of the story - I think that's the best word for it; the audience jumps from scene to scene, many but not all of which contain Nick, but we know that Nick is always going to be where the action is, or that he will at least know about it. He may not be the main character, but he's an essential character. But I digress a little bit.)

The difference between the way the story is imparted to the audience in the book versus in the musical boils down to this: in the book, Nick "plays" every character, so all their dialogue and actions, their mannerisms and the way they're described and reported, it's all informed by the beliefs Nick holds about them. Whether he means to or not, his biases paint certain characters in certain lights, and because he is our eyes and ears to the story, we have no choice but to absorb those biases.

But in the musical, every character is literally played by a different actor. Nick can only speak for himself. Nick can only tell his own parts as they happened. He may be "telling" the story, but we're watching the story. We have the benefit of an unblemished perspective on things - we can watch the events the way they actually unfold, regardless of how Nick believes or remembers they went down.

This difference - between Nick as the narrator and Nick as merely his own voice - is crucial in how the musical develops each character, some of them fairly different from how Nick described them in the book. And there's one book-to-stage change - a fairly small one, all things considered - that, to me, illustrated this difference perfectly.

There's a line towards the end of the Gatsby book. Something Nick says in narration, after his final conversation with Tom Buchanan, talking about how Tom gave away Gatsby's name and location to George Wilson (which ultimately led to Gatsby's death). Nick writes:

"I couldn’t forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy — they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made…"

When I read this line in the book, I couldn't help vehemently agreeing. Screw those rich assholes! Money does corrupt! Tom and Daisy ARE careless wealthy people! It was easy to side with Nick, not only because he was the only perspective on the situation that I had, but also because he said this in internal response to a conversation with Tom, who, I think we can all agree, is a major jackass and a deeply unsympathetic character.

But in the musical, this line is spoken aloud by Nick. And he says it to Daisy, in her house, as she's packing up to skip town after Gatsby's death. In fact, he doesn't just say it; he shouts it, visibly and audibly outraged at her audacity to lead Gatsby on, ghost him, skip his funeral, and then move away to avoid the fallout. Nick is angry and highly critical of Daisy. But because we're no longer confined to his shoes, we also get to see Daisy's reaction - not as Nick remembers it, but as Daisy actually reacts. And because of that, we're able to really see, and confirm, that "Daisy is rich and careless" is not the full story.

I have to credit Eva Noblezada for a phenomenal performance (duh). Daisy in this scene is emotional, grieving, and it's clear she has been trying to contain these feelings for the sake of her husband and her own sanity. She's remorseful, not that Gatsby is gone necessarily, but that she allowed herself to entertain the fantasy of running away with him, only for it to be torn from her. She is trying to make the best of her unavoidable reality. And then Nick tears her a new one, calling her careless, accusing her of destroying things and being too rich to care.

And as I watched that scene, I was no longer wholly on Nick's side. I understood that this situation was so much more complex than Nick's chastisement acknowledged. Sure, Daisy wasn't innocent, but she also wasn't the callous rich girl Nick made her out to be. She did love Gatsby. And she also had a whole life with Tom. She had a daughter. She was a woman in the 1920s! That's a kind of life sentence even wealth can't erase.

The way Daisy responded may not quite have landed with Nick (if we consider the kind of fun possibility that the musical is the events as they happened and the book is Nick retelling those events as he remembers them two years later, then clearly Nick's disdain for Daisy's actions overtook whatever sympathy he felt for her), but the musical gave Daisy the opportunity to appeal to us. The audience. Having this omniscient perspective of things allowed us to draw our own conclusions, and I found myself a lot more sympathetic towards Daisy when I could both see and hear how she responded to Nick's verbal castigation.

In the book, Nick is the narrator. In the musical, Nick is a narrator. But he's no longer the sole arbiter of the story. The audience got to make our own judgements on the events as we witnessed them. Every one of us was a Nick - beholden to our own biases, maybe, but at least not beholden to his.

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teecupangel · 9 months

Note

I've been playing AC Revelations lately, and remembered about your Ratatouille AU.

I think Desmond would be very confused, because all suspicious sounding voices should be silent in the like core of animus or whatever this place is. But he anyway hears those strange complaints about how he looked much cuter in previous parts and now he is like weathered or smth. And those simpings on old Ezio. And this comparison of Sofia and Leonardo. And intense swearing when there's no 100 percent synchronization because of THIS STUPID TEMPLAR WHO SOMEHOW MANAGED TO HIT MEE, LIKE WHAT, HE SHOULD BE LYING DEAD, BUT NOW I GOTTA RESTART THE WHOLE MISSION AGAIN WTFF (russian slurs following). Ahem. Also I feel like he would imagine that it's like his descendants or smth, so he would start to believe that he'll get out of animus very soon

The original Ratatouille AU idea

Its little brother, the “Desmond can hear us” idea

And the “I don’t know you can do that” sidestory that got sidelined by people learning that Altaïr can vault in AC1

So the idea would be the voices would suddenly be silent once Desmond wakes up in the Animus Island and he’d be confused and absolutely worried because he’s used to hearing them (especially after a lot of them suddenly showed up because [The Founder By Accident] apparently posted it or something and got a lot more people ‘playing the games’ again) so the silence was…

… worrying, to say the least.

Especially after Clay tells him where he was and what was happening to him.

And then…

Desmond started reliving Ezio’s memories…

And the moment Ezio’s voice echoed in his head “Dear Claudia…”

There’s just a cacophony of [DEAR CLAUDIA!!!!], [Best opening cinematic in the franchise <3], [Goddamn, I still get goosebumps watching this…], someone is able to actually recite the lines in Ezio’s accent as Ezio continues, and many, many more. There’s definitely a lot of them.

And Desmond could feel himself relax as he let both Ezio’s memories and their voices watch over him.

And then…

“Even if they messed up Altaïr’s actual outfit in this scene, it’s still freaking awesome.”

Ah.

[The Founder By Accident] is back.

Desmond immediately got used to a lot of them ‘simping’ over Ezio and the mini-debate that happened when Ezio met Sofia…

As well as the mini-debate about Suleiman being either good or opportunistic or both (and Desmond laughed at the “I can’t say anything because he has the same voice as Malik and that’s an automatic ‘yeah, he’s okay’ from me” comment from one of them).

The complaints about the ‘gameplay’ or the bugs or the synchronization requirements or… Desmond found himself being comforted even by these as these were already part of the voices’ personalities anyway.

And then…

He was back in the Animus Island and he couldn’t even focus on Clay because he’s being bombarded with voices all talking about “oh you poor boy what did they do to your face?” and “you still look good, Desmond, don’t listen to them!”.

And then…

[Play DA Everyone] goes “I know what to do!”

Clay’s eyes widened when a box suddenly appeared in front of Desmond’s feet and Desmond crouched. He opened the box and a lot of the voices went “Ooohhh” as Desmond sees it’s a vial with a message that says “Mod to Change Desmond’s Model To Be Closer To Francisco Randez” and there’s a lot of chanting of ‘drink it!’ and ‘chug chug chug’.

Desmond turned towards Clay and asked, “Do I look like I’m weathered?”

“What?” Clay looked confused by his question and Desmond simply shrugged, being used to it already.

He uncapped the vial and drank the entire thing, trusting the voices in his head as usual.

Cheers erupted all over as Desmond didn’t feel anything different.

Well…

He felt more rested than he ever had though…

And Clay could only gape as Desmond’s face changed right in front of him.

What.

The.

Fuck.

#desmond and the voices #will give clay #his own existential crisis #or you know #clay would be just #“yeah okay cool”#ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #clay kaczmarek #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed

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anteroom-of-death · 3 months

Text

Teacher's Pet part 9

Synopsis: Can lover's fights be resolved quickly? Or does it set up a new game?

A/N: I would like to thank my younger self for being infinitely cooler than I am now. Also the Kendrick Lamarr version of America has a problem. And to my readers. You fuel this beast that is my spiral into madness. Yippee!

The Doctor had to work quickly. He wasn’t about to let (y/n) slip through his fingers.

How much of a miscalculation this was! He thought this experience would further bond her to him. The swoop of glamor, the gravitas.

So many of his past companions followed a script. See the TARDIS, get a chance to save the day. Enter, become his friend and companion. Come to grips with reality and then cling to him as a life preserver.

He mentally cursed himself out. He should have just stuck to his original plan of never telling. Or just casually, maybe after her graduation, to do a meeting with Missy and explain Nardole.

It was better to keep her in the dark.

The thought of a memory wipe crossed his head. But after all that with Donna and after he got his mind wiped of Clara…the idea was less savory and could backfire.

If not for Missy and his duty to care for her, he would never had remembered Clara.

Missy was good for that. Her psychic skills and progress were always far superior, more accurate than his.

The thought of him contacting her mentally and getting her on board and then having her disentangle this day from his little fawn’s mind briefly flitted through.

Too late, as (y/n) was already climbing out of her shower. She didn’t take her time with it.

He braced himself for the next bit.

He usually wasn’t on the receiving end of this behavior.

She exited, wrapped in the towel. Her eyes were red from tears and lack of sleep. She stood in a defiant stance facing him, water still dripping off her legs.

She kept on hand braced at the top, protecting her modesty. She rose the other and pointed with her index finger. She inhaled and held her breath for a long second. He could tell that she was steeling herself. Preparing what she had to say, and wanted to say it without stopping or stuttering or anything else.

He let her have to floor.

Her next breath was long and rattled out of her like death from a corpse.

“Listen, I understand that you couldn’t have came out saying ‘Hey! I’m an alien stuck on Earth!’ without sounding totally fucking schizophrenic.” She hand went to under her armpits. More protecting of her precious modesty. A mini suit of armor, he gathered. “Am I blaming you for not wanting to sound insane? Even if it’s the truth? Sort of. But like, it’s also my fault. I was too stupid. I also made my happiness contingent on a man’s affection. If you are a man. You look pretty damn male to me. Feel pretty damn male to me. But I digress!” An exhausted, bereaved look fell over her face. “I said from the beginning I never wanted this to happen. But I did. This did.” She caught her breath and swallowed heavily. “I don’t really fucking know what to do or think here. Would it be dumber to leave, or dumber to stay? Would you just abduct me and probe me if I left? I don’t know any aliens besides you. I think. I don’t know…I don’t know what aliens do.”

“It’s too late to get anyone driving.” She finished up. “I’ll sleep on it. But, I don’t know.” Her eyes slammed shut tightly and she shook her head. He dare not probe in her brain to see if he could do anything, say anything, especially after that comment she just made…

“Find somewhere else to sleep.” She ordered. “Or sleep on the cuck chair. I don’t care. I need my sleep and to clear my mind. Don’t fucking touch me.”

It was a better outcome than he was expecting. A testament to his methods and his abilities. It was real affection too. In parts and pieces.

A shot in the arm, at least.

He could make strategies and find the most clever words at night. After all, he did need less sleep than a human. Mental seduction was now a line drawn in not sand, but concrete. And it was drying quickly.

He sat down in what she deemed the “cuck chair”. He’d have to Google that term later.

She got dressed quickly and did her little human skincare rituals quicker. After crawling into bed, she put her back to him and snapped off the lights.

The silent treatment…

He could work with that.

He heard her let out a few heaves of a half cry.

The thought of throwing her secrets into her face crossed his mind. Secret for secret. But he knew that was petty and would further alienate him from her. To shame her into submission was the opposite of what he needed to do.

Plus, with the way she operated, it’d be a blow out. Only a Time Lord with access to her brain would know.

All night his mind raked through scenarios.

And her sleep was restless, tons of thrashing and some talking. He got out of the chair a few times and it seemed she was also leaking tears.

He resisted the urge to wipe them away. And to rifle through her mind.

Thankfully the morning robbed him of overthinking any more.

She woke with such a start, her chest heaving and face crusted with dried tear salt.

The Doctor made his way to fake…something in the bathroom. Give her space.

He flushed the toilet and washed his hands.

She had already dressed up and sat on the chair. Just a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved turtleneck. She was slouched and a glum expression slacked across her face. She was chewing on her pinky nail with one hand and the other was tapping very quickly.

“I’m not going back to Bristol. Fuck it, I’m in London.” She announced very nonchalantly.

She heaved.

“You can’t help how you are. I can’t either. We’re an odd couple. An alien and a…” She caught herself. “Human.” She wasn’t ready to reveal her secrets yet. Of all the people in the universe, he understood the urge for secrecy.

“Don’t take me for a fool. No more wool over the eyes or a snow job. If I want to know, I’ll ask. Vice versa. Of course.” She conceeded.

“If you lay hands on me, it’s my right to launch you into the stratosphere.” She stood up for herself…it seemed like she was speaking from deep experience.

“I’m not going to waste whatever is between you and me. But yeah.” She cracked her knuckles and wrists. “Is that good for you? It’s good for me.” She ended getting up and grabbing at her purse.

His time to speak came.

“That’d work for me.” He decided the simplest words would make the best impact. He noted that this incarnation of himself was a sucker for women who likes to pull a bossy act, but came undone so easily under him. He’d lure his fawn back to him. Somehow…

“Okay, ummm. Fine, I’m going to go out, get some things. I’ll be fine. Message me whenever your done with whatever you needed to do today.”

She exited and he went off to help UNIT.

Distracted and raw, he did his duties.

They went off and Kate declared the operation a success.

He texted (y/n) to meet him at a café that was near the unit head quarters.

She met him and he went to kiss her hand. She smelled heavily of cigarette smoke and her sunglasses were glinting, eyes damn near unreadable. She had a few small shopping bags on her.

“You were busy.” He noted.

“Well, you did mention a play and I didn’t have anything appropriate.” She admitted. “I wanted to look nice…for you. Don’t want to embarrass you. Especially since you’re so nicely dressed this weekend.” Her head nodded to the side. “I’ve never seen you in a button down.” She mused, “They suit you.”

She gave a crooked half-grin, half-grimace.

It seemed that yesterday and this morning laid heavy on her mind.

Against his better judgment, he gently entered the surface of her mind and gently swept aside some doubt of self and this. Still there but not probing sharp and heavy. Gently safe, gently there. Letting her still have her free will, just sheltered nerves.

Maybe he still hung around Missy too much.

Even though, this wasn’t as bad as what either of them has done in the past regarding Time Lord’s skill sets in meddling in people’s minds.

This was for the better, would stop her from harming herself, he rationalized…

She relaxed and they finally entered the café. He got his usual cappuccino with enough sugar to overwhelm an entire preschool’s population, she got a simple espresso lungo.

“See!” He said as he took a sip, “Just like humans do.”

“Ah.” She said, her mouth partially hidden behind the cup.

“Sun feels nice…” She said, sitting down at a seat that got the full blast of it on her face. “Rare English sun…” She mused again. “Maybe it’s an omen.” She shrugged, fingering the one pendant around her neck like it was a talisman.

The late-spring sun shone in her hair, illuminating different shades and colors in her (insert your color of hair you have here, dear reader!). Much different than in the early days with the weak winter sun. It was radiant.

Semi-sarcastically, semi-impertinently, he asked, “Can I touch your hair?” His hand already halfway shot out. (Maybe he did have ADHD.)

She took another petite sip of her drink. She nodded, “Sure.” She placed the cup down and let the sun hit her more, shrugging out of her jacket, and extending her arms out to get the rays on then.

He leaned out and slipped his right hand through the line of her hair. Feeling it’s textures and gave a short swirl of the ends between his fingers. With his other hand he gripped her already clasped-together hands.

The cool metal of her rings was already warming in the sun.

It felt right, a small simple moment. He wished he had gotten more with more people.

“Let’s cut the mishegas.” She said after a while. “Let’s make this work.”

The Doctor nodded in assent, taking another sip of his drink. “Whatever you need.”

After a while, and minimal talking, they went back to UNIT head quarters and the Doctor took a meeting with the entire engagement crew and leads. (Y/N) decided to give a quick check in and chat with Petronella and asked her about her favorite place for a brunch on Sunday.

Sadly, Petronella didn’t know any good places, but she’d ask around and get back to her.

(Y/N) went off to prep for the night out.

The Doctor was buzzing, he was entirely intrigued by what his fawn’s idea of appropriate was for a West End play. Especially after her comment about his outfit.

He had no references, just what he’d seen a few companions wear.

He was properly doing a date in the first time since he sent River off to die on his younger self in the Library.

He hoped this one would be less chaotic. (Y/N) seemed a flight risk if any invasions or anything close to his normal dalliances he had on Earth happened.

He could respect her need for peace and quiet. It was admirable.

The meeting was just about ready to close up when she entered and sat next to him, sliding the chair over closer to his.

He gave a quick look over. Everyone did. It was a distraction. She entered in a slightly-overdid cloud of perfume.

She was…glittering. Glowing.

That was the only word to explain it. Obviously, she’d taken certain professional cues. Her legs were elongated in some ridiculous contractions masquerading as shoes. Her hair was pinned back in some areas and let loose in others. She wore a simple black dress and a tight black opened, long cardigan.

It seemed she was trying to send a message.

Her face was shining and her eyes were accented.

Definitely a big one.

He turned, interrupting the already interrupted meeting, slowly blinking.

“Don’t mind me. I’ll just wait.” She smiled, crossing over her wrists, sliding her arms onto the board room table, slightly slouched, slight pushed forward.

Whatever this little message was, he felt his cock stiffen a bit.

Is this what her clientele saw? This bejeweled wonder? All a show of confidence and heavily-scented fodder?

Was this her doing? To show him that she could invite the gaze of anyone she wanted?

His mind swirled with jealousy.

Then the rational side, who knew her for what she was when she wasn’t trying kicked in. She was just trying to look nice for the theatre! Nothing more, nothing less.

He hadn’t felt this white-hot dagger of jealousy since that PE teacher…What’s his name, Danny? Denny? Denise?

This human had him stymied again…

Too soon and yet not long enough, his duties ended for the night. She got up and went to Petronella for a moment to exchange numbers and she tossed her head, hair reacting to the little motion, shaking away. He caught a glint of her teeth backed against the lipstick, deeply pigmented.

His observation about them being friends was correct.

He felt a little unable to leave his seat. He had to will his body to do such an action. He accomplished it and went to near the door frame.

“Yeah, text me any time. I’ll see you later.” He heard her say.

She took a giant step away and joined him. She gripped his arm and shrugged on shoulder up. “How do I look for my first West End play?” There was a very new expression in her eyes. One that seemed unreachable.

He was rather uneasy in those micro-clues in this body, unless he relied on his mind to connect and check in...

“You’ll do.” The Doctor beamed.

She fixed her strap under the cardigan and they began their walk to the outside. A swirly motion, it was oddly hypnotic and drew his eyes to her chest. Her necklaces glinted in the light and clinked together gently. He let a small, sardonic grin form on his face.

On to call a cab, the Doctor noticed he had a bit of trouble counterbalancing his weight against her in the added three or four inches of (y/n). His little fawn had little trouble on her wobbly legs. He was the one in trouble, slightly stumbling like a newborn deer…

A reversal.

Before he properly could form any more thoughts she got a cab to come off the side of the streets.

Onto the play, onto a new act.

But what was she getting at showing up like that?

Or was this just nothing…?

He had to find out or give up quickly.

Not acts, no playing.

Just the night ahead.

#personal #doctor who #doctor who fanfiction #12th doctor #12th doctor x reader #reader x 12th doctor #12th doctor x you #you x 12th doctor #self insert #teacher student #im being evaluated for bpd #yay #lol

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yanderecrazysie · 9 months

Note

Can you do a Yandere Sakusa one-shot?

Absolutely! I feel like I barely saw any of Sakusa in Haikyuu- so many people love him but I totally struggle with getting a feel for his personality. And thank you so much!

Also, it’s been a little while since I wrote about murder. Let’s change that! ^-^

Title: Competitive

Pairings: Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, descriptions of murder, I know nothing about Japanese volleyball rules for girls on guy teams so just pretend I’m right

Summary: Sakusa’s never felt this competitive before. Maybe it has something to do with his newest opponent.

competitive

/adjective/

having or displaying a strong desire to be more successful than others:

Sakusa had never felt this alive.

He was used to staying in the background with a bored, disdainful expression. Judging people from a distance while staying in his own little germ-free corner. He rarely found interest in anything but volleyball.

Sure, he got competitive during volleyball, much more than in any other aspect of his life. He didn’t like leaving things unfinished and losing felt unfinished. He had a tendency to label rivals as a threat and overfocus on them throughout every match.

But never had he been more competitive than against this team.

He couldn’t understand why he viewed most of this team as such a threat or why he wanted to crush them harder than any team in the past.

Sakusa prided himself on his honesty, even if it went into the territory of being way too blunt. But this wasn’t so much lying to himself as it was being unable to figure out why?

He barely heard the whistle sound as he blankly turned to look at the scoreboard. Oh. They’d won. And by nearly 15 points. He’d been much too focused on the game to pay attention to the score. It felt like a blur.

The team he was playing at lined up and began to do their punishment exercises- running up and down the hill outside. Honestly, the training camp was going easy on everyone. If you lost in a competition, you were out.

Sakusa’s eyes trailed after one particular player as the number 13 jersey jogged through the morning dew-laden grass. You.

He’d been surprised that a team had let a girl play, but he had originally supposed you were just a bench warmer, let on to keep the parents’ mouths shut about equality. He had been outright shocked (though he’d never show it) when you lined up to play off against the other teams as not even the libero, but the setter.

You weren’t filling in for anyone, either, that much was for sure. Sakusa had watched your team beat another before playing against his and you were good. Your movements were fluid, your form was perfect, and you were a quick-thinker. Not a genius like Kageyama and not as talented as Oikawa, but you were a worthy opponent by far.

When he went up against your team, one of the wing-spikers (the one right across from him) said something snarky, something he couldn’t even remember anymore, and put his arm around you for just a moment while laughing.

And then, he’d been consumed by a need to win he couldn’t hope to control.

When your team turned around to run down the hill, he could see the disappointment on your face. You felt bad about losing, most likely, even though you’d probably done your very best. Sakusa didn’t know, he hadn’t been paying attention to you during the match.

Although, now it was over, he felt like he should have been.

You looked like an angel, with the sun’s rays lighting you up at that angle- he almost expected a halo to appear above your head. Your beautiful skin shone with sweat but it just enhanced your looks by making you glow.

He wasn’t the type to get this distracted by a girl, but he couldn’t help it.

“Why are you in a corner by yourself?”

To anyone else, Sakusa would say something biting, making them leave with their tails between their legs. To you, he could only look down at his food silently, wishing he had the guts to say anything to you.

“Would you like to sit with us?” Your voice was so soothing, so kind… You probably thought he was lonely, all by himself, when he did this to himself. He just wanted to get away from the crowd as they ate lunch, but you…

You really forced him out of his comfort zone from the moment you met him, huh?

“I’d prefer to stay here,” he managed to mumble out.

“Oh, okay,” you looked a little disappointed. Were you hoping to hang out with him? His heart lifted a little at the thought but quickly plummeted when you dejectedly walked away.

He knew then that, if you gave him the chance, he’d do anything to bring that smile back to your face.

The universe must hate him, Sakusa was sure of that.

Somehow, he’d been tasked to be the one to clean up all the dirty, germ-ridden volleyball equipment at the end of the night, along with that infuriating guy from your team that always had his hands all over you.

But you’d given Sakusa a little wave and sweet smile as you left, and that’s all that really mattered to him. Silly that a girl he’d just met had so much power over him.

There was a cage filled with all sorts of different PE equipment that the volleyballs were meant to go in. The two boys jogged around the gym, scooping up the balls, dropping them in the cage, and repeating.

It would’ve been fine, had it been in silence. But the other boy just would not shut up.

At first it was little digs at how their team would beat his next time, about how Sakusa’s a “weird guy”, and then he said something that sealed his fate.

“(Y/n)’s pretty hot though, don’t you think? The girl on our team? Bet you’re jealous.”

Oh, he was jealous. Jealous beyond words.

“Yeah, I’m glad she’s on the team- she looks hot in a jersey and shorts. Doesn’t she?”

Is this how he always talked about you? Did you know about this.

The two of them stopped at the cage to drop off volleyballs. As your teammate turned around to gather more, Sakusa fished around deeper inside, under the volleyballs.

“I really wish she’d let me-”

CRACK

The sound of a baseball bat meeting the side of the jerk’s skull was a wonderful sound to Sakusa.

The boy slumped forwards, landing on his face and not moving. For good measure, Sakusa brought the bat down hard on the back of his head. Twice.

He didn’t bother to touch his disgusting body to get a pulse reading- he could see the guy was dead from a mile away. It felt good. Better than he’d ever expected.

The threat was gone. Now both you and Sakusa could be a little happier.

But he wanted more. He wanted all of the competition out of the way, until it was just you and him. Maybe that was selfish of him but he couldn’t help it.

He wondered how many of your teammates he could dispose of before this week-long training camp was over.

#yandere #yandere haikyuu #haikyuu!!#yandere one shot #yandere x reader #one shot #yandere sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi

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groovesnjams · 4 months

Text

youtube

2 / 50

"Not Strong Enough" by boygenius

MG:

Writing about boygenius, at this point, feels impossible. I have an urge to defend them, to shout down some anonymous but not entirely imagined comment section* (it felt like everywhere I turned on the internet just fucking hated this group and it always always always boiled down to some projected misogyny) and a world that just couldn’t…quite…admit this was the greatest song of the year. Even in the places where boygenius unequivocally ruled there was this little whiff of embarrassment like they’re great but, ok, not that great. Well, they are that great! They don’t have to do something wholly original or reflect everyone’s personal identity back to them to be great!

But we don’t need more of that, it’s a stupid feedback loop, I have to be the change I want to see in the world and that change is to write about this song without defending it! To do that, however, would not be entirely honest because, to be entirely honest, I was very much that person I outlined above for most of the year. I put “A&W” at the top of my dopey playlist and felt very vibey about it and even had a period where I got into Father John Misty a little bit because that made sense. And then when it got closer to calling it, as I was listening through that playlist a whole bunch to make cuts and remember things I’d forgotten, I listened to “Not Strong Enough” for the first time on headphones and it fucking ripped. It ripped my brain right open! This song is gorgeously produced, full of rich instrumentation that colors neatly in-between the wavy lines of the storytelling. It’s the kind of thing I want to choreograph a dance to, I want it to soundtrack a movie about an aimless, broken person who surrenders to life’s enduring beauty and awakens to their own possibility, I want to watch a music video where boygenius play in a barn with vaulted ceilings. Every detail of this song feels so specific and fully realized that I can’t help but play along. It speaks to some half-remembered, half-imagined past but it’s also coming to, in the front seat, still happening, still going somewhere.

I get it, what I said about Chappell Roan, about being unlikable and thus lovable, applies here, too. I can’t make you like this song, it is unlikable and it got better every time I heard it (a lot, it was blessed and highly favored by Sirius XMU, who chose to make Mitski’s TikTok hit “My Love, Mine All Mine” their song of the year) and I love “Not Strong Enough.” It is my favorite song of the year.

*(To my complete and total amusement, shortly after I finished my first draft of this post, the comment section I was thinking of voted "Not Strong Enough" their song of the year. I'm not sure if there's a significant disconnect between commenting members and voting members or if I'm a woman of the people, charting the course of lukewarm acceptance to full on wholehearted embrace of this song. But, either way, good for all of us!)

DV:

Wow it's really tough to talk about "Not Strong Enough" without talking about boygenius and parasociality and fandom in 2023, huh? This may also be true of a lot of this year's list, but with the rest of the lot it's relatively easy to find other angles into the song. With boygenius the angles all lead back to the band, their dynamic, their process, their relationships. It's a little gauche isn't it? I don't feel like boygenius meant for the story of their 2023 to be about themselves but here they are at the end of the year where they went viral for Halloween costumes and they're winning gendered awards like Ron Swanson from Parks & Recreation, and we just have to hope things age better in reality than in fiction. But also, boygenius made "Not Strong Enough", which some days felt like it might actually be my favorite song of the year (a distinction shared by many others on this list, but one this song got more than most.) It's a song built out of climaxes, rolling and building, with hooks to spare and a secret weapon in the drummer, whose name is weirdly difficult to find but whose fills do more to make the song than even the jangliest guitar. So on one hand, I know more about this band's lore than I do about any other artist who I can't name a second song by. But on the other: "Not Strong Enough" is straightforwardly a gorgeous, propulsive power pop banger, delivered beautifully. When you have a Lucy Dacus and can hold her in reserve for a climax like this one, taking fully a minute and a half but never losing momentum, you're simply operating at a level that few other artists are capable of.

#gnjsoty2k23 #boygenius #not strong enough #music #phoebe bridgers #julien baker #lucy dacus

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cayemm · 1 year

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i'm curious about your technique ..... the texture in your fabrics, metals and skin is magnificent, do you have some favorite brushes and how do you approach drawing these materials? thank you!

Hello!! :D First things first, thank you so much for your kind words!! My favorite brushes to render with are these:

I don’t remember where I got this brush exactly :( It might be an old Photoshop brush that I tweaked and/or changed its properties quite a bit over time to suit my preferences. The good thing is, this brush is easily replicable, all you need to do is take a simple round brush and enable color mixing!! Then adjust how much paint you want the brush to pick up and/or how intense you want the color mixing to be :D I use this brush for pretty much everything, from skin to fabrics to metal!! I also want to mention that Clip Studio’s default “Smooth watercolour” and “Transparent watercolour” are decent alternatives!

I've worked with this brush for years now! Nowadays I use it for really fine details which require hard edges or opacity. There isn’t much to say except I really like its texture and it balances between being a hard and soft brush really well ^__^ You can get it here!

I got this one from the CSP Asset store, however it originally had a Japanese name which I couldn’t read, so I changed it to just TEXTURE. I don’t see it in my downloaded brushes catalogue though, so I’ll update this post if I manage to find a link

Really good brush for adding some fancy texture – it’s a simple rake brush consisting of 9 lines, nothing too complicated AND easily replicable :D I consider it a good addition to my personal brushset. It’s really fun to use!

Now... I’ll try my best to explain how I approach things during rendering :D (disclaimer: I am no professional artist…this is just how I do things when painting) So! With skin I always keep in mind that light penetrates its surface and, in a way, illuminates it from the inside. This usually leads to experimenting with many colors depending on the subjects skintone and lighting of their surroundings/scene they're placed in :]

Fabrics - I generally paint them very close to how I paint skin :D Of course it’s not a one-fits-all solution, as there are different types of fabric with different properties. Whenever I render a specific fabric - let’s say for example leather – I keep asking myself “How do I make this look like leather? What properties does a leather surface display? Is it shiny, thick or thin, does the material allow subsurface scattering?”

For metals, I usually stick to a general rule of thumb - use stark contrasting values when rendering (really push those dark, saturated shadows and really shiny lights) and don't forget about how reflective metallic surfaces can be!

That's pretty much it! ^__^ ❤️

#ask #phEWWW this was a lot to type #anyways I hope I answered your question anon!! ^__^#much love #faq #brushes

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rifki16 · 5 days

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At 25:00, in Akasaka Episode Three Review

Photo credit: At 25:00, in Akasaka Promotional Twitter Account.

At 25:00, in Akasaka Episode Three

A healthy sweet brownie.

The episode really focused more on the acting side of the series, which I really appreciate as someone who got very confused by the manga on how Asami-Shirasaki’s casual sex relationship actually helped Shirasaki’s acting ability.

Many on Twitter have said how good and original the series, as well as the series Living with Him, is compared to the source material. In my opinion, this episode is the one that really affirms those opinions. It really is making something great out of the manga.

The episode started with the scene from the fake drama inside the drama and we’re seeing Shirasaki, in character, saying, “I like you” to Asami. As usual, the director thought that Shirasaki was not really convincing when he said his line. And the take went on, and on, until they had to wrap the fiming. Side note, I don’t know the acting business that well, so I was shocked that it was not the director who called off the filming activity. And of course, Shirasaki felt bad for making the take went on for too long and apologized to Asami.

Then, Sakuma texted Shirasaki about their pilot episode airing the night after the stressful filming day that he just had. This really strengthened my suspicions that Sakuma in the LA series really likes to goat Shirasaki, regardless of how Shirasaki would react. I mean, even on the scene it looked like Sakuma never really texted Shirasaki, so why would he text him in notifying that their series pilot episode was about to air.

Asami came to Shirasaki’s place soberly. Shirasaki was shocked of course by this unannounced and unplanned visit. Shirasaki was still just reeling from the horrible job he did on that day, and I think Asami could sense it even from when he got into the apartment. As the two started to mingle in the apartment, Asami asked Shirasaki whether he could tolerate spicy foods. Shirasaki answered that he could, and in fact, he loved it. He just casually brought up the fact that he loves something.

Linguistic side note, every time I wrote “like” in this essay, it is interchangeable with “love”. Throughout the episode, no one used the word “ai” the verb form of love in Japanese. All of them used the “skida” or “like” verb form. However, as I have written on the Love is Better the Second Time Around, I think for the second episode, essay, there’s this impression that I have, and many observers have, that Japanese people don’t really use “ai” and prefer to just use the “skida” form. Because of that, and because of the context in the series, I would like to just point it out in case anyone is claiming that Shirasaki couldn’t really say “love” that easily in this episode. Because he in fact can, but not in the form of “ai”.

That interaction between Shirasaki and Asami about the spicy food really solved a lot of questions I had with manga Shirasaki. I mean, what exactly is it about Asami’s dick that made Shirasaki acted better. I know it’s not about his penis, as the two didn’t really have penetrative sex until way later in the chapters. I know that the manga tried to paint that Shirasaki became a good actor because he finally learned about romance and love because he became in love with Asami through his frequent, thoughtful, and very accommodating sex. However, I still don’t know exactly how Shirasaki’s love to Asami could be transferred into a good acting ability. I mean sure, if we want to stretch the understanding, we can infer that, Shirasaki became more confident in himself because of his love to Asami, and that’s how he could ameliorate his acting ability. If that’s the case, then why is the sex necessary?

The LA made more sense or practically easier to understand in the question of how Shirasaki actually betters his acting ability. Asami just made Shirasaki remembered all the things he loved and made him envisioned those things when they shot the confession scene again.

Side note, I really love that the LA kept the trait of Asami being sleepy. I posted this on Twitter first, but I’m glad that they didn’t make Asami too perfect lol.

After sleeping in bed together, Shirasaki realized the next day how he was in love with Asami. When Shirasaki was picturing the things he loved in his head, starting from the food he loved, he then fell into thinking that he liked Asami’s traits, including his face, and as his mind tried to list another one of his traits, his mind could only reiterate “Asami’s…” before he needed to say his line with tears and a face full of emotions accompanying the delivery. It was a very emotional and moving scene, seeing Asami finally getting a win, after all this time, I was so glad to see it.

What I do agree with the manga is that I really don’t think acquiring any talent took just one night. Between the horrible take and the superb one took only one night for Shirasaki to acquire. Again, of course, we can stretch the interpretation by saying, oh, Shirasaki always has this talent in him, it’s just that Asami could finally bring it out for him. I’m not doubting Shirasaki’s talents, he got casted, in the fake drama, for a reason. The manga made it felt more realistic in this aspect because when Shirasaki cried during a very emotional scene, it was not the first time when his talents actually appeared. After Shirasaki and Asami’s first non-penetrative sex, Shirasaki’s acting was complimented for the first time, and it boosted his confidence in his actingmanship. So, when he did cry, it was not that farfetched. When Asami hugged him whilst he was sleeping the night before he taped a scene while crying, Shirasaki wasn’t that oblivious about his attraction to Asami. Hence, in the manga, when Shirasaki cried, it sorts of came out of the pages like Shirasaki knew which buttons he needed to push to evoke the cry. Unlike the in the LA when Shirasaki made it seemed like it was just some uncontrollable and newly discovered feelings he has.

However, if we want to follow the logic trail here, the reason that Shirasaki’s feelings toward Asami were hard to find was that maybe their bond is not as intense as it would be if the LA had taken the frontal route of making the couple have sex very frequently.

I’m very angry to find out that the series turned out to only have 10 episodes. With the pacing that they use, I really thought that they would have 12 episodes. I just saw that in the 4 episode, Kazuma finally entered the arena. Why? WHY DID THEY JUST SKIP THE FIRST HALF OF THE SECOND VOLUME????? Again, this is only based on the trailer, I don’t know how the 4 episode will come out. However, I really want to see Shirasaki finally getting the recognition he deserves, which exists in the first half of the second volume.

All in all, it’s a great episode. Watch it yall.

#gay #japan bl #bl live action #at 25:00 in akasaka #25 ji akasaka de #asami hayama #shirasaki and asami #shirasaki yuki

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whatstruthgottodowithit · 9 months

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Here You Come Again [Part Eight]

Fandom: Elvis Presley, RPF, American Actor

Pairing: Elvis Presley x Original Female Character

Characters: Elvis Presley, Addison Goodwin, Original Female Characters, Priscilla Presley, Colonel Tom Parker, Vernon Presley, Gladys Presley, Minnie Mae Presley, Marci Cunningham, Jerry Schilling, Red West, Sonny West, Marty Lacker, Joe Esposito, Charlie Hodge, Lamar Fike, Alan Fortas, George Klein, Memphis Mafia

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 9107

Summary: When Addison Goodwin was seventeen years old her life was turned inside out after a chance encounter with her past. Now, fifteen years later her life is the best it’s ever been. She has a home, a good job and a daughter she loves more than anything in the world but will all that remain when an old familiar face rolls into town.

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Graceland, Las Vegas, The International Hotel, Elvis In Vegas, 1970s, 1970s Elvis, Friends To Lovers, Rekindled Romance, Parenting, Time Line is Sketchy, Guilt, Betrayal, Teenage Pregnancy, Hawaii, Hidden Pregnancy, Jealousy, Sex, Absence of Parent, Single Motherhood, Trauma, Oral Sex, Tension

Notes: Why does tumblr just decide to make stuff shitter every so often. Cba.

LINK TO ALL PARTS // LINK TO AO3 // LINK TO PINTEREST

Elvis was riding on a high. There had been something about tonight that was different though he couldn’t put his finger on just what it was. Maybe it was the fact the crowd had been particularly receptive tonight given that many of them had just rolled into Vegas for the weekend and were still buzzing off the anticipation of getting up to something they shouldn’t. Maybe it was because he wasn’t as tired as normal since he had managed to negotiate to do only one show a night – even if it was only for the duration of Lisa being in town. He didn’t think it was that though. No, he figured it was because he had been able to spend time with both of his daughters for almost the entire evening, Just the three of them. He had gotten to see them interact and from the looks of things they actually seemed to be getting along, especially since Jess had sided with Lisa when she had informed her father that he was colouring in wrong [something he didn’t know was possible but from the stern look on his five-year-olds face apparently it was]. But above all, he got to enjoy just being a dad, not even a dad just a person, without someone needing something from him other than time and love. That was why he was riding on a high.

However that high meant that he wasn’t ready for bed quite yet. He was wired and so instead of heading back to his bedroom suite, he headed to the main one hoping he could check on both of his girls. When he got inside though he found it wasn’t dark as he expected as lamps were still lit throughout the suite. That was when he noticed Jess standing in the middle of the living room though she whipped around when she heard him enter.

‘Hey, what are you still doing up?’ he said coming towards her but as he noted the unnerved look on her face it triggered panic inside him, ‘what’s going on?’

‘She’s been throwing up,’ Jess said looking back towards the couch where Elvis could now see Lisa. She was laying on her side clutching her stomach and though her eyes had been closed they opened at the sound of his voice, her own coming out whiny and melancholic.

‘I don’t feel good,’ she groaned as she squeezed her arms around her stomach tighter.

‘Since when?’ Elvis asked moving towards her though his gaze remained on Jess.

‘About an hour,’ she said biting her lip. He perched himself on the coffee table, placing the back of his hand on his daughter’s forehead which felt clammy but fortunately not too warm.

‘Why didn’t you call downstairs?’ Elvis asked sternly, ‘I would’ve come straight up.’

‘I-I-I was going to, but I couldn’t find the sheet you gave me and Jerry had already gone downstairs to sort something out and I couldn’t remember where he’d gone and she just came into my room and puked all over the floor so I panicked,’ Jess waffled.

‘My tummy hurts,’ Lisa groaned looking at her dad and forcing him to take his eyes off Jess for a moment.

‘I know honey. It’s okay,’ he soothed stroking her cheek.

‘I’m sorry I just didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to leave her on her own,’ Jess said feeling her voice getting thick with tears. On seeing her start to well up Elvis felt guilt course through him and he reached a hand out to hold hers gently for a moment, ‘it’s okay. Don’t worry about it, I’m here now, okay?’

‘I just panicked,’ Jess said quietly.

‘I know,’ he said, ‘it’s okay.’

‘Elvis my tummy hurts,’ Lisa groaned making Elvis offer Jess one more reassuring look before he turned his attention back to his youngest.

‘I know sweetie but we’re gonna get you fixed up, okay?’ he said earning a nod from Lisa though her face remained pouty.

‘Actually, she’s already being fixed,’ Jess said nervously making her father look up at her confused. A confusion that only grew as Addison appeared behind her daughter looking between them as if she was missing something.

‘Everything okay?’ she asked looking from Elvis to her daughter who now looked more shaken than the moment she’d arrived and given that Addison had walked in and found her looking horrified as she held Lisa’s hair out of the way whilst she puked into a trash can that was some feat.

‘What are you doing here?’ Elvis asked a little more accusatorily than he had intended as he stood up.

‘Jess called,’ Addison said simply, seeming not to take offence at his tone as she moved past him so she could get to Lisa whom she placed a cold cloth on the head of before she offered her a glass of pale liquid with a gentle, ‘here you go sweetie.’

‘Thank you,’ Lisa said, those southern manners shining through in her weakened state.

‘Jess called you at midnight and you just drove all the way down here?’ Elvis said, accusation lacing his words again.

‘It sounded urgent,’ Addison shrugged.

‘She could’ve come and got me y’know,’ Elvis said defensively. He didn’t know why he was being like this. He knew Addison was only trying to help but the entire situation was getting him on edge. After all, things had been going so well with Jess and yet she hadn’t even given him a thought before she’d dialled in reinforcements.

‘I know,’ Addison said firmly and before he could respond and be any more obstructive, she took a seat on the coffee table and leaned in towards Lisa, ‘how’s that sweetie?’

‘Good,’ Lisa said through laboured breaths as she tried to gulp as much of the drink she had been given down her throat like she had been stranded in the desert for days.

‘Well, that should help,’ Addison said taking the cup from her as she lay back down. When she looked up she found Elvis watching her closely.

‘Would you stop looking at me like that I said it’s fine,’ she sighed, ‘don’t worry about it.’

‘It’s just… you should’ve come and got me,’ Elvis said looking at Jess.

‘I just thought Mom would know what to do. She’s a nurse after all,’ Jess said and at her words Elvis softened. When he thought about it like that he could see her point of view. After all, she was just a kid. Her brain had probably gone into overdrive and she had dialled the only number she could think of. All in all, she’d been looking out for her sister.

‘I forgot about that,’ Elvis admitted, ‘I guess it makes sense when you put it like that.’

‘No harm done,’ Addison said earning a nod from him. As Lisa stirred from the relaxed state she’d been in, her blue eyes watching them all gathered around her, Elvis sat down on the coffee table next to Addison and placed his hand over his daughter’s.

‘Are you feeling any better honey?’ he asked making her big blue eyes find his as she offered a weak nod.

‘A little bit,’ she said.

‘That’s good,’ Elvis said looking at Addison, ‘so what’s the diagnosis?’

‘Well, the good news is I think she’s gonna be fine,’ she said.

‘Yeah?’ Elvis asked.

‘Yeah, she doesn’t have a temperature and her abdomens soft so I don’t think it’s anything too serious,’ Addison said.

‘Are you sure?’ Elvis asked though he trusted Addison completely the image of his little girl laying in front of them looking troubled made his heart hurt, ‘maybe we should get her checked out.’

‘Jess, what did you have for dinner?’ Addison asked looking towards her daughter. The question came out of the left field for both Elvis and Jess but nevertheless Jess, who had been standing there still feeling anxious, answered.

‘Pizza and ice cream,’ she said.

‘And then you guys watched a movie?’ Addison questioned. Though he had no idea where she was going he figured the way she was making his brain do gymnastics as he tried to figure out her point was only punishment for his less-than-inviting attitude.

‘Yeah,’ Jess said not managing to connect the dots.

‘Where you had popcorn?’ Addison asked.

‘Yeah and M&Ms and Lisa had some Twizzlers-’

‘See where I’m going with this?’ Addison asked raising an eyebrow. Elvis seemed to contemplate it for a moment before the points clicked into place.

‘Oh,’ he said, ‘yeah I guess you might be right.’

‘I know sugar-induced puke when I see it,’ Addison said.

‘You saw her puke?’ Elvis asked.

‘Who do you think cleaned it up?’ Addison asked. Again, guilt flooded through him but this time it felt more than just guilt. It felt like an embarrassment, like he needed her to clean up his messes literally and figuratively. She had trusted him to take care of his daughters and he had barely lasted the night without needing help.

‘You didn’t have to do that,’ he said feeling the defensiveness from before creep back in.

‘Eh,’ she shrugged, ‘it’s not a big deal.’

‘Still,’ he said not sure what he was trying to prove.

‘Anyway,’ she said ignoring him, ‘I think the best course of action is probably rest.’

‘Yeah, you're probably right,’ Elvis said.

‘For you too lady,’ she said standing up and placing a hand on Jess’ face in an attempt to reassure her though she still looked torn at the thought of being sent away. She knew if it was just her dad here she’d be allowed to stay up but she knew better than to argue with her mom and so she nodded.

‘Okay,’ she said, ‘I hope you feel better in the morning Lisa.’

‘Me too,’ Lisa mumbled though her eyes didn’t open as she continued to lay on the couch.

‘Night,’ she said receiving ‘Goodnights’ from both of them in response.

Once she was out of the room Addison took a seat on the couch beside the one Lisa was on whilst Elvis sat next to his daughter, placing her head on his lap as he stroked her hair gently. She disturbed a little as he moved her but the pain seemed to be ebbing minute by minute which meant that by the time she was lying on him properly her breathing had already changed signalling she may have been falling asleep. Elvis watched her closely for a moment and Addison watched him. She knew that by coming here she had hit a nerve but in the moment she hadn't been thinking of anything other than Jess. She realised it could’ve been construed as interfering, but she hoped he would see that it wasn’t the fact that she thought he couldn’t do it alone, it was the fact that Jess was just so used to her doing it she hadn’t thought past that. For a moment she didn’t speak, she knew him well enough to know that he’d tell her sooner or later and when he pulled his gaze away from Lisa’s peaceful form and clocked her looking at him he did.

‘You really didn’t have to go to all this trouble you know,’ he murmured his fingers till playing with Lisa’s golden locks.

‘I know,’ Addison said.

‘And I didn’t leave them alone. Jer was just next door and I told her to come and get one of us if she needed anything. I gave her a full list of phone numbers, I left it right by the phone,’ he said quickly as if he needed to explain.

‘I know I found it in the same place you left it,’ Addison said making him look at her.

‘If she had it why didn’t she-’ Elvis started to question but Addison cut him off.

‘I think she just panicked. You know what it’s like when you’re panicking your mind just goes blank and she didn’t want to leave Lisa on her own, so she called me.’

‘I guess every kids first instinct is to call their mom,’ Elvis said. His irritation was ebbing, the initial worry that Jess hadn’t thought he couldn’t handle it fading the more Addison spoke. The guilt however didn’t seem to be lifting even more so as Addison replied.

‘Well if it was mine the phone would be ringing for a long damn time,’ Addison said. He expected bitterness to be behind her words but there was nothing. In fact, the joke didn’t even seem sarcastic but genuine as he noticed a smirk on her lips. It made him sad to see how unattached she was but then the memory of her heartbroken face the night Mona had left flashed through his mind and he realised maybe this way was better.

‘That’s probably why you’re such a good mom,’ Elvis said making her look at him, ‘because of Mona I mean.’

‘Oh, I guess,’ she said suddenly feeling uncomfortable though she didn’t know if it was at the compliment or because even though she had spoken of her mother it had been a long time since it had been to anyone who actually knew her.

‘I mean it,’ Elvis said doubling down. He was starting to feel bad about the way he had acted and though he knew she never did well with compliments he couldn’t help but say the words he hoped she already knew, ‘you’re like the exact opposite of her. Jess couldn’t have a better mom…in fact, I’m glad you’re here. I mean I know I said I could’ve handled it but I’m not sure that’s true.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Addison scoffed. If the compliments had made her uncomfortable the fact he was putting himself down was just as upsetting.

‘Well Cilla usually takes care of this stuff or the nanny,’ he said smirking as Addison tried to hide a smile before he shrugged, ‘I don’t really know what I’m doing. Hell I can’t even get her to stop calling me Elvis.’

‘Well to be fair to her that is your name,’ she smiled though as his mood didn’t brighten she sighed, ‘don’t beat yourself up about it. None of us do.’

‘You look pretty sure of yourself to me,’ he said. Addison sighed.

‘I’ve had more practice that’s why,’ she said quietly. He knew it wasn’t a dig but something about it made his heart twinge, ‘you think I had any idea what I was doing when she was Lisa’s age? You think I knew what to do with a sick kid? Of course not but it happens once and you get used to it. And then the next time it happens you know what to do. It’s not about being a better parent it’s just about being prepared.’

‘Yeah, I guess,’ Elvis said though that guilty feeling was still niggling inside him. Seeing he was still lost in his head Addison sighed and shuffled forward placing her hand on his knee. He smiled at her and she offered one back before pulling back and taking her hand away.

‘You know one time when Jess was little,’ she started immediately piquing Elvis’ interest, ‘like really little she grabbed something off my plate when I wasn’t looking and ate it. I don’t even remember what it was she just threw it in her mouth and it immediately got stuck and she started choking, and I mean like going blue in the face choking. I had no idea what to do. I was on my own and I was just panicking then I remembered you’re supposed to slap their back, so I did. I hit her so hard it came flying out of her mouth, practically flew across the room, and then I felt awful because I’d hurt her. Not only that but she didn’t have a clue what was going on so all she could do was cry and cry and cry and I just felt like the worst mom in the world. I just picked her up and we sobbed on the kitchen floor for hours.’

‘You saved her life,’ Elvis said watching the memory dance across her face. She offered him a weak smile.

‘I know but I still felt terrible. Like I should’ve just known what to do without hurting her, like I should’ve just been able to dive into action without any thought and no consequences…but that’s not realistic. I mean I still feel guilty about it now and Jess doesn’t even remember the damn thing… but the next time she tried to grab something off my plate you better believe I knocked it out of her hand before she could even get that pudgy little fist in her mouth,’ she said with a small smile. Elvis sighed.

‘So I shouldn’t feel guilty huh?’ he asked raising an eyebrow.

‘Do you think she’s going to remember what happened tonight or who brought her some ginger ale? No, she’s going to remember that her dad was there and stroked her hair whilst she didn’t feel well,’ she said. As she spoke Lisa stirred in his lap, her tiny hand resting on his thigh as she moved. It made his heart flutter with love.

‘I think you might be right,’ he said with a smile.

‘Always am,’ Addison smiled.

They watched her for a minute but then she started to stir more as if she was threatening to wake up any moment.

‘Maybe I should move her to bed,’ Elvis said.

‘Yeah, she might be more comfortable there,’ Addison said. As Elvis contemplated how he was going to move Addison took the cold compress that was still on her forehead off and placed it on the coffee table. Then Elvis lifted his daughter up and slipped out from underneath her before he scooped her up onto his hip, her head resting on his shoulder, all in one fell swoop. When he turned Addison was still watching him trying to ignore the flurry in her chest as she watched him move the hair out of Lisa’s eyes as she slept soundly against him. She couldn’t believe he’d ever doubt how good of a dad he was. She knew from watching him with Jess that there was no doubt he was a good dad yet it was different with Jess because she didn’t need him in the same way Lisa did and watching him fuss over the little girl in his arms made her realise just how much he was made for it. It was lovely to watch but also heart-wrenching. If only things had been different this could’ve been their life.

‘I’ll be back in a minute, okay?’ he asked snapping her from her thoughts.

‘Sure,’ she said offering him a small smile. He looked like he wanted to say something but he wasn’t sure that he should. It made the flurry inside Addison amp up as she anticipated whatever it was.

‘Do you wanna stay for a while?’ he asked. It wasn’t quite a plea but both of them could hear just how much he wanted her to say yes.

‘Yeah,’ Addison said, ‘I’d like that.’

✵✵✵

When Addison awoke the next morning it took her a moment to adjust but as she took in the ornate mouldings above her and the brightness streaming in from the window she had neglected to close the curtains of it all came rushing back. Aside from cleaning up vomit and trying to keep everyone calm last night had been nice. After Jess had gone to bed and Elvis had carried Lisa back to her room the pair of them had stayed up and watched television though she doubted either of them could even say what had been playing since they had spent most of the night just talking. If anything she hadn’t realised just how much she had missed Elvis. Throughout this whole thing she had been getting used to seeing him as a dad, as this new man she needed to get to know but last night had shown her that even after so many years he was still that same boy she had known when she was three years old. But last night was catching up on her now and she could barely fight to keep herself from flopping back down and catching a few more minutes of sleep. Unfortunately, her longing for rest wasn’t fulfilled as she heard the door open and found Jess coming inside.

‘Oh good you’re finally up,’ Jess said.

‘Morning,’ Addison said with a yawn.

‘Actually, it’s afternoon,’ Jess said.

‘What?’ Addison said pushing herself up and looking at the small clock on her bedside table which informed her Jess was in fact right, it was 12:46 pm.

‘Jeez,’ she said.

‘Late night?’ Jess asked with a smirk.

‘We all had a late night,’ Addison said.

‘Yeah, but me and Lisa have been up since ten,’ Jess reasoned as she sat down cross-legged on the end of her mother’s bed, ‘can’t say the same for you and Dad though.’

‘We were just talking,’ Addison said stiffly though she didn’t know why she felt the need to defend herself.

‘Oh I know,’ Jess said, ‘I could hear you guys still up when I went to the bathroom. That’s why I let you both sleep.’

‘Well that’s very kind of you,’ Addison said wryly, ‘but I think I should be getting up don’t you?’

She went to push the covers back but stopped as she realised that she was only in her underwear. Instead of climbing out of bed she shuffled to the edge of it, keeping herself blocked from Jess as much as possible she looked for the pile of clothes she had been wearing before she’d climbed into bed. She had been tired when Elvis had walked her to the room she would be staying in and the last thing on her mind was scouting out where to get some clothes to sleep in.

‘Nice outfit,’ Jess said as her mother grabbed her jeans off the floor and started to throw them on.

‘Yeah, well I didn’t think of packing a bag when I ran out the house to come and help did I?’ Addison said as she shirked on her pants, leaning back to button them.

‘You could borrow some of the stuff Patsy brought me,’ Jess said.

‘Honey I might have your figure in my head but reality is a little different,’ Addison said as she pulled her shirt over her head pulling the hair that had got caught under the collar out as she did, ‘it’s fine. I’ll just go home and change.’

‘I don’t think you’ll have time,’ Jess said.

‘Why not?’ Addison asked.

‘We’re going out and dad asked if you’d come and well, I said you would,’ Jess said, ‘that’s why I came to wake you up.’

‘Well can’t we just swing by the house?’ Addison asked.

‘I don’t think so…I didn’t realise you didn’t have stuff…I didn’t think you’d mind,’ Jess said shifting awkwardly. Addison sighed.

‘I don’t. It’s fine,’ she said. Jess offered an apologetic smile which she rolled her eyes at, ‘c’mon, let’s not have everyone waiting.’

‘We’re only waiting on you,’ Jess smirked as she clambered off the bed and headed out the door. Addison followed whatever retort she was going to offer stemmed as she yawned.

‘Hey sleepyhead,’ Elvis said as they entered the dining room. He was sitting at the head of the table with Lisa at his side standing on the chair beside him as she draped her body over the table and slapped another card down on the pile for whatever game they were playing.

‘Hi,’ Addison said standing behind one of the chairs, ‘someones feeling better I see.’

‘Oh yeah much better right buttonhead?’ he said looking at Lisa who glanced at him and then looked at Addison.

‘Much better,’ she smiled, ‘Elvis is taking us to the zoo.’

‘Is that right?’ Addison said looking at Elvis, ‘taking it easy I see.’

‘Eh, she’s feeling better and it’s her last day in town,’ Elvis said. He kept his tone even but Addison could see the sadness behind his eyes before he dropped his gaze to look at his cards as Lisa tugged on his sleeve, evidently not happy with how he had slowed their game for a conversation. Once he had placed his card down he looked back at them, ‘you guys are comin’ right? Daddy’s comin’ and some of the boys I thought we could make a day of it.’

‘Have I got time to go home and change?’ Addison asked making Elvis glance down to find she was still in the same clothes as yesterday. He knew it didn’t mean anything, no one would even know they were yesterday’s clothes, but the idea of knowing that she was wearing that because she’d not wanted to go home made him want to smile.

‘Not really,’ he said checking his watch and gesturing for Lisa to put her cards down, ‘we’ll be leaving in a minute.’

‘I can be super quick,’ Addison said.

‘It’s quite a drive and in the opposite direction of your place,’ he said making her sigh. Seeing the topic could be up for discussion Elvis looked at Jess and said, ‘would you mind helping Lisa find her shoes so we can get going?’

‘Sure,’ Jess said gesturing for Lisa to follow her which she did, jumping off her chair and running to her sister’s side as they headed down the hall to her room.

‘I really won’t take that long,’ Addison said as he climbed out of his seat, resting against one of the chairs as he stood next to her.

‘I know but I’ve kinda got everything lined up what with it being her last day here and everything. I don’t wanna miss any of it,’ he said. At that Addison wavered. Sure it wasn’t ideal but she could manage for one day. Elvis however had an idea, ‘why don’t I just buy you something new? There’s a lil boutique around the corner-’

‘It’s fine,’ Addison said waving him off, ‘I’ll just wear this.’

‘It’s not a big deal,’ Elvis reasoned as he stood up properly, ‘better than yesterday’s clothes.’

‘Either you take me home and I get a fresh pair of clothes or we go as is,’ she said.

‘You’re gonna walk around all day in day-old clothes?’

‘What am I gonna embarrass you?’ she challenged.

‘I just don’t see why you can’t just have something new. It’s gotta be more comfortable,’ he said.

‘You’re not buying me new stuff not when I don’t need it,’ she said making Elvis sigh. He should’ve known she would never have relented to that one. He leaned in towards her eyeing her in a way that made her stomach flutter with butterflies that only worsened as he leaned down and said, ‘you’re infuriating you know that?’

‘And you like showing off,’ she countered trying to ignore the fact she could feel the heat coming off his body he was so close. She watched as his lip curled up in a smirk.

‘Hey you’ll relent one day,’ he said.

‘Doubt it,’ she challenged folding her arms across her chest.

‘Wanna bet?’ he asked.

‘You’re on,’ she smirked. Elvis watched her for a moment, trying to ignore the fire in his belly as she met him toe to toe, but it was broken as they heard Jess call for Addison’s help. She offered him one last smug smile and then toddled off to find out what the problem was. As Elvis watched her walk away an idea bubbled in his brain. He was going to win this little wager fair and square, he just needed to make a couple calls first.

✵✵✵

Elvis had been right about the drive and by the time they got to the zoo it was mid-afternoon. Lisa chattered nonstop in the car on the way over and though Jess was less eager about a day out to the zoo she couldn’t help but feel a little excited too though she wasn’t sure if that was because this would be the first time they’d managed to do something outside of the hotel or their house or because of the smile on both her parents faces as they interacted with one another.

It was nice to see her mom this way, happy. It wasn’t that she was always sad or anything it was just that Jess had always felt that so much of her life had been left behind the moment she had her. Her mother had always assured her that she was never a burden and that she wouldn’t choose a life without her but there were times she wondered what could’ve been. Especially when she watched her dad tell a joke that made her mom snort a laugh or how she watched him with Lisa, an adoring look on her face. She was glad her mom was her mom but seeing her like this reminded her that she was a woman too.

Jess was only pulled out of her thoughts when they arrived at their destination. The zoo wasn’t a big one but this had been intentional as Elvis had picked one a little further out of town that was less likely to be populated so that when he requested for the owner to let them have the run of the place their loss of business wasn’t too bad. Of course there were caveats to them getting the whole place though that mostly included him having his picture taken with nearly every member of staff but eventually they managed to make their way into the park to see some animals. Lisa bolted straight for the first exhibit, lugging Jess and Vernon along by the hand, whilst their tour guide attempted to keep up. And seeing that they weren’t needed for much protection the boys walked ahead taking advantage of the fact the group was doing something that involved being outside in the winter sunshine instead of being locked away in a hotel or casino.

Elvis and Addison however stayed behind the group. They made conversation here and there but both of them found that there wasn’t a need to say much, if anything they were just enjoying one another’s company. They walked around for a while, grabbing a bite to eat halfway through until eventually, they got to the tiger enclosure.

‘He’s a big un isn’t he,’ Elvis said. Jess was standing next to him but he had Lisa in his arms so that she could see, hoisting her up so that she could lean against the enclosure wall.

‘He’s really big,’ Lisa said.

‘Let’s just hope he ain’t hungry huh?’ Elvis said shaking her a little as though he was going to toss her over the barrier making her shriek with laughter.

‘Actually, he probably is,’ the tour guide said pointing to a sign in front of them that said, ‘FEEDING TIME 4 PM’.

‘Are you going to feed him now?’ Lisa asked excitedly.

‘Well actually we do offer guests to feed him, on occasion,’ she said looking at Elvis which seemed to trigger an idea in his youngest daughter’s mind.

‘Elvis, you should do it!’ Lisa said looking at Elvis who chuckled.

‘Aw hell no,’ he chuckled.

‘Oh go on,’ Jess giggled earning herself a scowl.

‘Please!’ Lisa begged.

‘Have you seen that thing?’ he said as the girls watched him expectantly.

‘Not scared are you?’ Addison teased from Jess’ other side.

‘Hey I lose a hand my instrument playin’ days are over,’ Elvis reasoned.

‘It’d be fine, I could be your new guitar player,’ Jess giggled. Elvis looked as all three girls watched him expectantly. He had no desire to step into an enclosure with anything but the way they all watched him expectantly he could feel his resolve crumbling.

‘Y’all aren’t gonna let it go huh?’ he asked.

‘Well, we could ask one of the boys, right girls?’ Addison said turning around and finding the boys standing close by watching amusedly as their friend squirmed under the pressure, ‘you’d do it right Son?’

‘Oh sure,’ Sonny chuckled, ‘you know me. Ain’t afraid of anything.’

‘Yeah, except pickin’ up a check,’ Elvis grumbled though Sonny merely rolled his eyes at the dig, ‘aw hell alright.’

‘Yay!’ Lisa said kissing him on the cheek.

‘If you’d like to follow me sir,’ the guide said gesturing for Elvis to follow her towards a doorway which led to the back of the enclosure. He looked hesitant but after a moment he lifted Lisa forward so that Jerry could hold her so she’d still be able to see.

As he followed the young girl into the back of the enclosure, disappearing out of sight, Jerry moved to stand next to Addison whilst the boys moved so that they were standing along the wall.

‘You know he’s gonna be insufferable after this right?’ Jerry chuckled as Lisa turned to her grandfather and started chattering away to him.

‘He could’ve said no,’ she reasoned.

‘When has he ever told you no,’ Jerry said before his attention was caught as Elvis appeared on the other side of the circular enclosure climbing up onto a large platform at the back. He had a couple of keepers with him now, both hauling a heavy box between them, and the crowd watched as the tiger who had been lounging in the grass allowing them to watch him sleep, stood up suddenly realising it was time to be fed.

Addison watched on nervously, though her nerves weren’t really to do with the scene in front of them. It was Jerry’s words. The group laughed and jeered whilst Elvis was talked through the process and eventually tossed a hunk of meat on a string down for the large cat yet she barely even registered it.

‘When has he ever told you no,’ the thought echoed in her mind. It had been true when they had been dating, even in the months leading up to it, he had always caved but that was because he had been in love with her. It wasn’t like that now, right? No, she reasoned with herself. Elvis wasn’t in love with her and this stunt wasn’t for her benefit. He had done it for the girls. Yet as she watched him the idea swirled in the back of her brain. It was an idea she forced out of her mind. She couldn’t think that way. This wasn’t about them, this was about Jess, nothing more.

She was pulled out of her thoughts as Jerry nudged her gesturing for her to follow the rest of the group that was heading down towards the enclosure entrance to wait for Elvis to emerge. Addison stayed back as he came out immediately congratulated by both the girls and though he had grumbled once he saw how excited they were about it she couldn’t help but notice the smile on his face.

‘Well done man,’ Red said as the group started to meander towards the next exhibit.

‘Yeah well done son,’ Vernon said.

‘Did you see how he tore that thing apart?’ Sonny whistled, ‘pretty impressive.’

‘Near pulled me off that damn platform,’ Elvis said as Lisa slipped her hand into his and Jess came to his other side as they walked.

‘Were you scared?’ Jess asked.

‘Naw,’ Elvis said making Addison smirk though she knew he couldn’t see her, ‘I mean I don’t think the zoo’s reputation could handle being the place that killed Elvis Presley so I think I woulda been okay.’

‘Will you wear your tiger costume on stage tonight?’ Lisa asked looking up at him from his side, her hand clasped tightly in his.

‘Do you want me to?’ he asked making her nod, ‘well alright then.’

‘Are you gonna tell this story on stage tonight?’ Red chuckled as he turned to look at them, walking backwards as he did so, ‘cos I think I can already hear the girls hollerin’ about it now.’

‘Oh yeah better bring earplugs,’ Sonny chuckled.

‘What can I say I’m just an impressive guy,’ Elvis smirked.

‘Oh yeah, you think?’ Sonny said as Addison slotted in between him and Jess, ‘what do you think Addie, ladies' perspective?’

‘I prefer lion tamers myself,’ she joked making Elvis roll his eyes.

‘Not your type huh?’ he said though as he looked at her he could’ve sworn there was a flicker of something behind her eyes that moved too quickly for him to catch. Before she could say thing else though Lisa said, ‘look penguins!’ and then scarpered towards the round glass tank a little further up.

Yet as everyone followed her towards the tank which was now being occupied by several keepers who were chucking bucket loads of fish into the water Addison wandered away from the group and took a seat on a nearby bench. No one seemed to notice she was gone, well not until Elvis looked back to find her nowhere close. Since the group was distracted he moved away and came to sit beside her, earning himself a small smile.

‘You alright?’ he asked. She nodded. Even though Jerry’s comment had put her in her head a little bit she brushed it aside as much as she could. She didn’t want to think about things like that, not today, and so as Elvis watched her she decided not to dwell on it and instead just be in the moment.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked raising an eyebrow. Elvis hiccupped a laugh and flopped back on the bench, his arm going behind where she was sitting.

‘Don’t know how I didn’t crap my pants but sure,’ he chuckled.

‘Well, the girls loved it,’ she said.

‘And you?’ he said making her roll her eyes, ‘hey now it was your teasin’ that got me in there. C’mon honest answer.’

‘You were very brave,’ she said sarcastically, a smile playing on her lips.

‘See was that so hard to do,’ he chuckled.

‘And at least you have a story for your show tonight,’ Addison said resting back against the bench.

‘Yeah, that’s true,’ he said.

‘And the girls did love it,’ she reiterated.

‘Yeah and now look. I’ve been replaced by some penguins,’ he chuckled.

‘Oh you should’ve heard them,’ Addison said, though she had been lost in her thoughts she hadn’t missed the giddy chatter Lisa had with Vernon or the awestruck way Jess had spoken to Red as they watched.

‘Yeah?’ he said earning a nod, ‘well it's good to know I’m not an embarrassing dad just yet.

‘You’re kidding, right? Those girls idolise everything you do,’ Addison said truthfully, ‘I’m glad actually. I think this is the first fun thing Jess has done in months.’

‘What do you mean?’ Elvis said sitting up which meant he was closer than before not that either of them seemed to care.

‘I’ve just been busy recently. Work’s been hectic and I just feel like she’s been on her own a lot,’ Addison said, she didn’t know why this was all spilling out of her now. After all, airing her insecurities in the middle of a zoo probably wasn’t the best place to do it but as Elvis watched her she felt that familiar tug from within. Like they weren’t at the zoo but holed away in his bedroom or driving around Memphis in his car like they used to. Like she was seventeen again.

‘I guess I’ve been feeling a little bad about it. I can’t even remember the last time we did something like this,’ she said genuinely trying to wrack her brain for the answer.

‘That doesn’t make you a bad mom,’ Elvis said.

‘I know,’ she said, ‘I just feel bad y’know? I guess it’s been since Marci left, Jess always had someone other than me…we’re just getting used to her not being here.’

At hearing Marci’s name Elvis’ mind whirred once more. He’d gotten some answers from Jess but there had been something burning inside him that he wanted to ask. A question he hadn’t dared broach just yet. Addison seemed to sense his curiosity as she said, ‘what?’

‘I guess I’ve been meaning to ask,’ he said tentatively.

‘About what?’ she asked.

‘Jess said you and Marci used to live together,’ he said.

‘Yeah?’ she asked not understanding where his thought process was going.

‘So…she knew? About Jess,’ he said.

‘Oh,’ Addison said quietly, ‘um, yeah.’

‘Did Jer?’ he asked, the worry that had been swirling around in his brain finally coming out. It had been bothering him from the start. His question seemed to startle her but she recovered quickly.

‘Of course not,’ she replied placing a hand on his thigh when she saw how worried he looked. It soothed him but not as much as her words did. It didn’t erase the fact people had betrayed him but knowing Jerry wasn’t one of them was something, ‘in fact I don’t even think he knows I was the reason they split up.’

‘What happened?’ he said curiously.

‘Well, she came and found me,’ she replied.

‘I meant all of it,’ he said making her brow furrow as he tried to explain, ‘what happened…after you left.’

‘Elvis,’ she said quietly. Again she felt that familiar tug but speaking about Marci was one thing. Telling him about all the other stuff was another.

‘You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,’ he said his baby blue eyes watching her hazel ones closely, ‘but I wanna know. All of it.’

‘Okay,’ she said with a sigh. He could tell she was gearing herself up to speak of it and he settled in hoping that if he just listened she’d humour him, ‘well you know that the Colonel shipped me off, right?’

‘Yeah,’ Elvis said trying to keep the bitterness inside him from his tone.

‘Well, I didn’t know what I was gonna do. I knew I couldn’t come back but being totally separated was hard, y’know? So, I kept in contact with Mar,’ she said.

‘Did she know? About the Colonel?’ he asked.

‘No,’ she said dropping her gaze to her lap, ‘I mean I didn’t really know how to tell her and I knew if I did she’d try and convince me to come back and I couldn’t do that…so I just kept it vague. We planned to go to college and how you’d be home in a couple of years…and then I found out I was pregnant and they moved me to a mother and baby home.’

‘What’s that?’ Elvis said though something in his gut told him he already knew. He hoped from the way she breezed past it meant that it wasn’t as bad as he feared.

‘A way for the school to keep its reputation essentially. You get moved over there, out of the way, with the idea that they’ll help you. And at first, I believed them. They made it seem like even having Jess that young I’d still be able to go to college like we planned but the longer I was there the more I realised they were pushing me to stay in school because they wanted me to give Jess up, probably even had a set of parents lined up,’ she said bitterly as she looked back at him, ‘once I realised that I took off, got on a bus and got off at the last stop. I ended up in the middle of nowhere…somewhere in Texas. Found a little motel and got a job cleaning for them, they even let me stay there.’

‘And Mar?’ he asked his heart aching at the ordeal of it all. He couldn’t imagine going through all of that – unable to tell anyone.

‘We kept in contact, but it was hard. She kept asking about colleges and why I hadn’t come home after the semester ended and I didn’t know what to tell her so I stopped answering her calls,’ she admitted, ‘which was dumb I know but at that point I knew there was no going back to Memphis and the more she talked the more it hurt.’

‘What happened?’

‘Your mom died,’ she admitted, ‘after that she knew something was wrong. She knew I would’ve been there…so she hauled ass to Texas.’

‘Sssh,’ Addison cooed as the baby continued to cry against her shoulder which was making tears form in her own eyes, ‘come on Jessie…just go to sleep okay? Mama really needs you to go to sleep.’

It was an empty plea; one Addison hoped her daughter would hear though as the continued to empty her lungs of every scrap of air inside them it didn’t seem to be working. Four days. Jess was only four days old and in that time Addison’s world had started to crumble. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy but if she was being honest with herself she had only been focused on the giving birth part. The rest of it hadn’t occurred to her.

She hadn’t anticipated the fact that even though she was still dog tired from labour she wouldn’t be afforded the luxury of sleep. She didn’t realise that whilst she held her daughter to her tender breast once again she would find that she had no food in the house to feed herself seeing as she had not been able to get to a grocery store at any point. She didn’t know that she would offer everything she could think of to this tiny human being and it still wouldn’t be enough or that she wouldn’t know how or what to do to fix it. And above all she hadn’t anticipated just how much her daughter would look like her father. How those tiny blue eyes sparkled like his even if they were filled with tears.

‘Come on Jessie, please,’ she said feeling her own sobs coming, ‘for Mama?’

As Jess continued to fuss Addison patted her back which suddenly expelled a modicum of spittle onto the shoulder of Addison’s only clean shirt. It wasn’t ideal but as soon as it was out of her she started to soothe making Addison heave a sigh of relief as she rubbed her baby’s back. Eventually she felt her start to doze off and she placed her into the Moses basket.

The other thing Addison hadn’t anticipated was just how much she would love her. Even with all the screaming, crying and pooping thrown in. As she fell into a sound sleep Addison grabbed a cloth off the dresser and wiped the small amount of baby vomit off her shoulder before she tossed it in the general direction of the laundry basket and collapsed onto her bed, feeling her own sleep coming.

She had barely closed her eyes before there was a knock on the door and though she was startled she leapt up to open it determined not to have the noise disturb her now soundly asleep new-born. Though as she wrenched the door open though she got quite a surprise. Standing in front of her wasn’t one of her disapproving neighbours [ones who came around to ‘check she was okay’ but always managed to slip in the fact that they were being disturbed by the racket] but instead, it was Marci.

‘Mar?’ she said stunned.

‘You’re not dead then,’ Marci said angrily before she pushed past her into the house.

‘Mar-’ Addison started as Marci walked into the middle of the room though she didn’t seem to take any of it in as she whipped around to confront her friend.

‘Do you know how worried I’ve been!? You practically disappeared off the face of the earth! No calls, no letters! I’ve been going out of my mind!’

‘I’ve been a little busy,’ Addison said tightly though she didn’t know why she was being short with her. She knew she was in the wrong but the number of hormones and exhaustion coursing through her right now was making it hard not to be snappy especially given her tone.

‘Busy? Doing what?!’ she asked, ‘because right now the only thing you should be busy doing is being on a bus back to Memphis! You know what’s happened right?’

‘What are you talking about?’ Addison said.

‘Elvis is back,’ she said her anger falling to sadness as she added, ‘his Mamas passed away.’

Addison stood there stunned. Marci’s words didn’t even seem to penetrate her brain but as she stared at her the more they sunk in. Elvis was back in Memphis. Elvis was back. And Gladys was dead. Her heart squoze tightly in her chest.

‘When?’ she asked through the lump that had formed in her throat.

‘A couple of days ago,’ Marci said quietly, ‘I’ve been waiting for you but Jerry said you’ve never been around and with you going silent…what’s going on?’

‘Mar,’ Addison said feeling tears prick her eyes. But she didn’t have to tell her anything. At that moment Jess started to fuss causing both of them to look towards the basinet in the corner of the room that Marci hadn’t even realised was there. Though her head was still reeling it was like a switch had been flicked in Addison and she moved past her friend to her daughter, picking her up which made her settle. As she held her in her arms Addison took a seat on the bed, her friend watching her in stunned silence.

‘I didn’t know how to tell you,’ Addison said after a moment, ‘I didn’t know how to tell anyone.’

‘Oh honey,’ Marci said taking a seat beside her friend and pulling her in with one arm as Jess continued to sleep in her mother’s arms. They stayed there for a moment, Marci watching the pair of them as tears rolled silently down her friend’s cheeks.

‘Addie,’ she said after a moment, ‘Addie you have to come home.’

‘I can’t,’ Addison said thickly.

‘Addie he needs to know about this,’ she said firmly.

‘I can’t Mar,’ she said looking at her pleadingly, ‘they don’t want me. None of them do.’

‘Elvis does,’ Marci said, ‘he loves you.’

‘It’s not enough,’ she said, ‘I wish it was but it’s not.’

‘Addie,’ Marci said sadly.

‘Mar I’m not going back. I can’t. And I know you don’t understand right now but I’ve had months to think this over. And no matter what I’m choosing my daughter. I’m choosing to protect her,’ she said. Marci looked at her friend. She didn’t understand, in fact, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to comprehend anything again in her life her mind was so all over the place at that moment but looking in Addison’s eyes she couldn’t help but feel her heartstrings tug. She hadn’t been able to help in past. With her dad. With Elvis. At every turn her friend had tried to hold it together herself and looking around the room at the chaos it looked as though this time she wasn’t winning the battle. Marci sighed.

‘So, what are we going to do?’ Marci said.

As the memory played on her mind she found Elvis watching her closely. It was something she hadn’t thought about in years and though at the time it had felt horrendous looking back now it was a fond one. It was the pinpoint of her life intertwining with Marci’s the way that it had. It was the reason she was even still going today. As Elvis waited for her to continue, she shuffled suddenly feeling under scrutiny.

‘And then she just stayed,’ she continued, ‘she wanted me to go back but she didn’t push. Honestly I don’t know what I would’ve done without her. I was a mess and she completely rallied around.’

‘Marci?’ he asked struggling to picture the ditzy teenager in the driver’s seat. Not when Addison was on board.

‘Yeah, I guess I’d been fighting for so long I didn’t have much fight left in me…’ Addison said quietly, ‘we spent the first year or so working in that little motel. Then she got a place at cosmetology school here in Vegas and we moved up here. We split working so that one of us was always with Jess. She even let me work for her when she started her own shop because it meant I could have Jess at the store with me instead of babysitters.’

‘That’s nice,’ he said. Though it hurt his heart to hear everything he was glad she had Marci. In fact, he was struck by how similar the situation was to his parents caring for her on behalf of Joe.

‘Yeah, not that cosmetology was really my thing,’ she said with a wry smile, ‘but once Jess was in kindergarten I decided to go to back to school. I mean I had my diploma so it wasn’t too hard and Mar still helped a lot. But about a year or so ago she met this guy and moved to California and I’m happy for her don’t get me wrong, but it was always just the three of us y’know? She was just always there…it’s just been a big change.’

‘I get that,’ Elvis said, ‘but it sounds like you guys did good…I’m glad you had her.’

‘Me too,’ Addison said with a soft smile, ‘that’s why I miss her so much. I know I was on my own but I wasn’t…not really.’

‘Well you’re not on your own now,’ Elvis reasoned, ‘you’ve got me. Both of you.’

‘Yeah, I guess you’re right,’ she said feeling hope flutter inside her.

‘Hey EP you guys coming?’ they heard Red call and when they looked over they found most of the group was already strolling to the next exhibit with Red lingering a few yards behind having noticed they hadn’t tagged along. Elvis smiled at her apologetically and then stood up offering a hand out to pull her up which he was surprised she took. As she smoothed out her clothes and started walking back to the party by his side she felt a weight be lifted off her.

It wasn’t easy but telling him all this stuff felt right. They had eased back into their friendship almost immediately but there still felt like a chasm between their souls, one that seemed to be healing with each interaction they had. That was why Jerry’s comment had unnerved her. She couldn’t love him, not like that, not yet at least, because there was too much that needed to come before any of it. Fortunately, it felt like that stuff was starting to happen.

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