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p1utofairy · 6 months

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PAC: “good karma my aesthetic. keep my conscience clear, that's why i’m so magnetic.” 🩰🍥🫧🪷

• what do you need to hear right now?

disclaimer ✩: take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i really appreciate y’all sm <3 for the patience, the love, the feedback and support. y’all are the greatest ever. i’m open to pac suggestions as well, so don’t hesitate to slide in my ask box! xoxo.

pile 1 ☂️ —

heyyy pile 1 ⭐️ what you need to hear right now is: release. relax and let go of any unhealthy attachments you may have to a certain person, place, idea or thing. i think you've been holding onto someone/something or the idea of what it could be/could’ve been. i pick up a feeling of yearning. you’ve been wanting something to work out in your favor, so you’ve been holding out…waiting to see if this situation will turn out how you anticipate. big 3 of wands energy. you’ve been waiting awhile now (i’m hearing weeks for some, months for others) for a clear answer. i think the more you wait around and stall things, the less likely things will go into motion. don’t chase, attract. remember that things will flow naturally to you and it’ll always work out in your favor no matter what — when one door shuts, several more will open. don’t put a time frame on it, you’ll get your answer/wish/clarity when you least expect. keep focusing on yourself and what you’re currently doing! whether that be going to school, work, the gym, studying, spending time with friends, etc. there’s a certain area in your life that you greatly want change to occur in, i’m heavily picking up for some that this is in regards to your love life, and again — i keep hearing that things will unfold in your favor when you least expect. very soon. you’re on the brink of something great, just don’t overthink it. relax, take a breath and just BE. your guides will handle the rest. love, prosperity and abundance are on the way to you. it just may not appear in the way you envision, which doesn’t mean it won’t happen at all. think about it this way, you might fantasize about coming across your dream person while you’re in a bookstore (on some ‘harry met sally’ type shit lol) so every time you go into a bookstore you’re kinda anticipating that to happen, but let’s say your busy at work or you’re frantically trying to prioritize doing your school work and studying and out of nowhere you look up and make eye contact with this person you’ve never seen before but you can feel the ✨vibe✨ like WHOA that’s…my person. i just see you being in your element when you meet this person pile 1, your mind will not be preoccupied/you will not have any precognitive thoughts — your person will just reveal themselves to you out of the blue. okay i feel like i’m getting carried away lol but everything’s gonna work out even better than you imagined pile 1 💗 trust that.

other channeled messages:

don't settle for less, pink + white by frank ocean, strawberry milkshake, chemtrails over the country club by lana del rey, leo sun, cancer moon, vedic astrology

pile 2 🦢 —

what's goodddd pile 2! i feel like you're in your self-love/healing era. you just bounced back from something and you did it with such resilience, ease and grace might i add. i'm hearing church girl by beyoncé, “i'm gonna love on me, nobody can judge me but me! i was born free.” okayyyyyy pile 2 i love this for y'all. i think some of you are really working on strengthening your throat chakra by speaking up for yourself and setting boundaries. just saw a meme that said “how i reclaimed the word ‘cunt’ by being one” OH WOW WOW WOW. i think you’re just over a lot of people and their bullshit, you may have just gotten out of a relationship, had a friendship breakup or recently left a job. good for you 💗whichever situation applies to you, i know it was draining and heavy on your shoulders. you finally feel like a weight has been lifted and you can spread your wings and be free. idk why i’m hearing some of you might be listening to a lot of lana del rey lately? (random but REAL af lol) i love that you know yourself at the core pile 2, you can’t fake it…if somethings not pleasing you or it’s not in your best interest, you know how to walk away and find something better. you don’t even know it, but you're inspiring to a lot of people. i think what you need to hear is: keep being your true authentic self. never forget where you came from and who helped you along the way, because i see that you have a big, bright and successful future ahead of you pile 2. you’re gonna be a star. “the diamond in the rough” from aladdin is what i’m hearing. you’ve got the wit, talent and empathy to get where you need to be in life. i wish you nothing but happiness and success pile 222 ♾️

other channeled messages:

hurricane by bridgit mendler, switch a n**** out by summer walker, olivia pope, sagittarius rising, cancer moon, pisces energy, save your tears remix by the weeknd & ariana grande, on my shoulders by sabrina claudio, red dress

pile 3 💵 —

hi pile 3 🤗 i’m getting rich vibes from y’all already lmfao, even if you aren’t (yet) there’s this energy of being very well-kept and liking the nicer things in life. you love you some good ol’ retail therapy. the message you need to hear right now is: spend your money wisely. i think you need to budget/save a bit more pile 3, you can sometimes go a bit overboard and indulge in the latest clothes, upscale restaurants or beauty products. you like nice things!!! there’s nothing wrong with that at all, you just need to make sure you’re prioritizing and balancing your earnings. some of you that picked this pile have very young energy lol like i can see you chilling at like 12am scrolling on youtube/tiktok and ooo’ing and aaa’ing at so many different product reviews and adding shit to your cart. some of you are tempted to buy stuff from the tiktok shop too lolll that was so oddly specific but i also feel like you've been big on protecting your peace lately. kickin’ back by mila j is coming to mind, “i’m kickin' back and i’m lightin' up doin' what the fuck i want. just rolled a wood, i’m feelin' good. just me, myself and this blunt.” i know das rightttt pile 3 🤭 you know your worth and you’re not settling for less than anything that you deserve — i love this.

other channeled messages:

luxurious by gwen stefani, need to know by doja cat, i just had an epiphany i need to go to tiffany’s, fenty gloss bomb, chanel chance, scorpio moon, catching flights not feelings

#pac #pick a card #pick a pile #pac reading #pick a card reading #intuitive reading #love pac #love reading #pac tarot #tarot reading #tarot #tarot pac #energy reading #p1utofairy

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wasteddmoondust · 5 months

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the universe || sirius black

pairing: sirius black x reader 1.2k words, soulmate au, angst (i tried, really), happy ending, some language from this request! :) a/n: AHH i hope you really like this, i haven't written this much before but i think it was a good challenge!

Sirius feels like he shouldn't have looked. But he stares at the four little paw prints tattooed on your left shoulder blade, identical to the one he has.

But that was the thing with soulmates, wasn't it? One can never control how it happens, they just do. It was already written. He was meant to see this, and he's meant to do something about it.

There's a sinking feeling in his chest. He's not sure if he wants to do something about it.

Sirius doesn't believe in soulmates. At least that's what he wants himself to think.

It's too much commitment, he usually says to himself. Why can't I choose who I want to be with?

I've been following rules my whole life. What does the universe know about me and who I'm meant to be with? For the rest of my life? Who would want to be with me that long?

I'm not a good enough person, let alone for Y/N.

Who would even want to love someone like me?

That's usually where the thinking stops.

So he decides for himself. Going out to parties to pick and choose which girls to make out with. No strings attached, just his physical desires to be satisfied.

He knows it's massed up, even more so when you're at said parties, keeping a lookout for someone with your matching tattoo. And so Sirius keeps his shoulder covered. You don't know he's your soulmate, and a part of his never wants you to.

Unfortunately, you're good friends, and he doesn't want you getting hurt over the fact he doesn't want a soulmate.

By the time he's done sticking his tongue down another girl's throat, he usually hears that you've decided to call it an early night.

It all comes crashing down one New Year's Day.

It's the adrenaline of counting down in the very crowded room, and the feeling of someone grabbing him to be their New Year's kiss. Everyone welcomes the start of a new era with a cheer.

The party goes well into the night before Sirius decides to finally crash in his room. He immediately falls asleep as his head hits the pillow.

He wakes up with the usual hangover headache, but nothing a bowl of ice water can't fix. A quick shower and a carton of juice later, he checks his phone for his missed notifications.

Moony: wake up, get to the hospital now. Moony: Sirius where are you??? Moony: we're outside room 402 when you get here. Prongs: Y/N's sick again, we're heading home Prongs: she won't stop throwing up idk what to do Prongs: we're going to the emergency room Prongs: call me when you see this Lilypad: James and i are going to the hospital with Y/N, call us when you see this Lilypad: Sirius if you do not wake the fuck up right now i will actually come for your throat.

Sirius doesn't think he's gotten ready so quickly in his life. To be fair, he was still in his pyjamas, just adding his leather jacket and running out of the door with his keys, wallet and phone in hand.

When he arrives, he sees his three friends outside of the room you're in.

"What happened?" he asks, panting from all the running.

"They don't for sure know yet," Remus says, arms crossed and leaning against the wall.

Lily is sitting on the chair, her hair is tied messily in a ponytail. "They think it's soul-repelling."

Sirius furrows his brows, "What does that mean?"

"My parents talked about it once," James says from his seat next to Lily. "They used to talk about stories of people who constantly reject the soul bond they had with their soulmate, which would cause the other person to be very sick. Or in worse cases, die."

Lily visibly hates the way James says it, and he knows it. He tries to comfort her by holding her hand, their matching flower tattoos on their hands side-by-side.

"...But she doesn't know her soulmate yet?" Sirius asks carefully, trying to sound normal.

James shrugs. "She may not, but they say the way her body is reacting means her soulmates knows it's her."

Sirius feels his breath knock out, his heart pounding, realising what he's done. He's been rejecting their bond the entire time. All the while he thought he was doing himself a favour, he made her suffer for his selfish needs.

The ache in his heart is undeniable. He grabs the fabric that covers his heart and feels his breath get heavier.

"Sirius?" Remus calls, noticing his actions.

"It's- it's my fault..." Sirius feels tears start to prick at his eyes.

"What?"

"It was me," he starts to remove his jacket and shirt, showing the tattoo on his shoulder for the first time. "It's me-" his voice cracks. He turns to the door, "I need to get in there."

"Woah wait- Sirius!"

But he bursts through the door to the ward. He runs in and the first thing he notices is you staring at him, paler than he's ever seen you before. You have eyebags and you're heaving, as if you'd just thrown up before he came in.

The nurse next to you speaks up, "Sir, you can't be in here yet-"

"I'm sorry!" he yells, grabbing your hand and bending over the bed. He buries his face in your chest.

"Sirius?" you whisper, confused, but you finally see the print on his shoulder. "Oh."

"I've known for the longest time and that was so selfish of me. And it's still so selfish of me to want you still," tears are fully flowing down his cheeks now. "I've realised I cannot lose you. But would you allow me to be selfish one more time and ask for you to forgive me?"

If anything, you're too stunned to speak. One minute you were throwing your guts up and suddenly your best friend is crying in front of you and he's also your soulmate.

But at the same time, you start to feel your body be at ease. The nausea is already starting to subside. His warm hand in your cold one feels nice. Like two puzzle pieces finding each other.

You cough, feeling your throat finally clear. You look down, and SIrius is still crying, his question still hangs in the air. He waits for your answer.

"I hope you know you have a lot of making up to do after this," you say softly, smiling.

He heaves the biggest sigh of relief. He leans towards your hands and kisses them. "Of course, anything for you. Oh thank god."

You chuckle. "I'm so glad it's you, actually. I had a feeling."

He looks up at you, "Really? How'd you know?"

You shrug. "Just a feeling I guess. Probably a soulmate thing."

He smiles, the universe has his back, he thinks. "Can I kiss you?" He asks.

"Sirius I just threw up, I'm not letting you taste whatever is in my mouth right now," you say. "But the rest of my face is available."

He opts to kiss your cheek instead. And something in him clicks. It feels normal, it feels right.

Yeah, the universe definitely knew what they were doing.

#marauders x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black x you #marauders imagine

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vinceaddams · 1 year

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Top 5 historic clothing items we should bring back into style (stockings on men, big cuffs on coats etc.)

Well I am very biased, because my everyday clothes are mostly 18th century menswear inspired, but for a list as short as 5 it's good to narrow it down!

1. 18th century shirts. Big puffy soft linen shirts. Best shirts. Comfiest shirts. Though tragically, since they get softer with more washing, they're at their absolute most comfortable right before they wear out.

(This one's from the post where I copied the tiddy-out violinist painting.) Besides being the nicest softest comfiest, they're also the most economical, being made entirely from rectangles. And they're versatile, they look good with lots of different garments! Someday I will do a very detailed youtube tutorial for my machine sewn shirt method. I've done so many now that I think I've finally got it down.

2. Adjustable waistbands. Why did this ever stop being a thing? 18th century breeches have lacing at the back, then in the 19th century trousers have a buckle tab. Now they do not, even though we're all still humans with bodies that change. (These are my orange silk breeches)

Do you know how many hours of my life I've spent taking in or letting out the waist seams of modern trousers? I don't know either, but I've been an alterations tailor since 2019, so it's got to be a fair amount.

All that waist altering wouldn't be necessary if they still made them adjustable! Waistlines fluctuate, so too should waistbands!!

3. Shoulder capes attached to coats. This was a thing in the late 18th century, and in the 19th, and I think into the early 20th too. It adds extra protection from the rain and snow, and it looks cool.

(c. 1812, The Met.)

(c. 1840-60, MFA Boston. The cape on this one is detachable)

You can make them long or short, and stack them up like pancakes or just have one. I've got 2 small ones on my corduroy coat, and one on my dark blue wool. Both cut from almost the same 1790's-ish pattern.

I also want to give a shoutout to fitted sleeves! I love me some two piece sleeves with a distinct elbow! And the coat pockets were bigger back then.

4. Indoor caps. I don't care what era or how fancy you go with it, I just want people to wear caps indoors when it's cold! This one's super simple, it's just a tube of linen tied with a ribbon.

(Detail from Le Marchand d’Orviétan ou l’opérateur Barri by Etienne Jeaurat, 1743.)

If it's cold in your apartment you need slippers for the feets and a cap for the head. Speaking of which.

5. Medieval hoods. This one is wayyy outside my usual era, but the wintery below-freezing weather has just started here and the knit hat I've been wearing isn't quite long enough to cover my ears. I want to make a simple hat with ear flaps, but I also wouldn't be opposed to trying to work something vaguely similar to this into my wardrobe. It looks so warm!

(Image source. Also she has a printable pattern available!) I actually made one of these once, an entire decade ago. But it was scratchy blanket wool and I've since given it away.

That's some of the main things I think we should bring back! There are lots of other things too, like men's nightgowns, and waistcoats with little scenes embroidered on them, but for this list I tried to be mostly practical.

#ask #ask meme #clothing #fashion #18th century

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yesimwriting · 2 years

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Movie Club

UPDATE: Chapter Two

A/N this is my stranger things era!!

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader

Summary: There’s just something about the girl that comes into the video rental store every Wednesday evening. Too bad that ‘something’ makes all of that ‘be yourself’ game he has fly out the window until Robin gives him the push he needs.

Warnings: canon level mentions of violence/eeriness, minor season 4 episode 1 spoilers, (maybe bleeds into episode 2 a little if you squint), mentions of death, fem!reader

----

Narrator’s POV

The bell attached to the door that customers walk in and out of rings. Steve’s posture instinctually straightens as his head sharply turns in that direction. His job at Hawkins’ Family Video store isn’t one that demands this much attention, especially on a Wednesday afternoon, but this is the one time of week he knows he’s going to see her.

Wednesday at a little after 5:00, depending on the time that cheer practice ends. She always walks in, the skirt of her uniform swaying as she flashes an even smile towards the counter. Some Wednesdays she approaches the front of the store before even browsing, grinning ear to ear with some story to tell Steve. These are the weeks that make every instinct he has melt out of his body. Then there are the Wednesdays in which she wanders the aisles, waiting for Steve to play the role of star employee, ready to help a customer find the perfect film. Those weeks steal the suave from his body, all coherent thoughts disappearing the moment they’re enclosed between aisles of VHS tapes.

Okay...maybe it’s not about what happens on Wednesdays. Maybe it’s just her. Who is he kidding? Of course it’s her. He knows it, Robin knows it (and won’t let him forget it)...and of course, even Dustin’s managed to figure it out. Steve can still remember the Wednesday Dustin decided to stop by Family Video and how Robin took all of two seconds to explain why Steve was so jumpy.

“It’s not her,” Robin hums, “Still too early.”

Steve sighs, forcing his eyes to drop to the floor. “I don’t--”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.” Robin turns away from the stack of new videos she’s supposed to be organizing. “She comes in every Wednesday around 5:00, and until you see her you’re a jumpy mess. Then you turn into an even worse mess.”

He’s defeated. There’s no way to pretend that he isn’t overly aware of the time. “We’re friends,” he admits, “I like catching up with her.”

“You mean you like when she comes in here, catches you up on everything in her life, and you stand there, like an idiot, either trying to string together a coherent sentence or figure out how to stop talking.”

Steve frowns. There’s not a good way to defend himself from the truth. “It is not like--”

“Come on, Steve, we’ve been here before.” Robin crosses her arms against her chest. “What happened to that ‘be yourself’, multiple dates a week attitude? What happened to wanting to find someone you actually felt something for?” She’s right, like always. Steve can’t quite react. “What--you finally figure out what you want and all of that goes out the window?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like, Harrington?” She raises an eyebrow, angling her head to the side in a way that reminds him a little too much of their Scoops Ahoy days.

He takes a deep breath, wishing there was a clock in front of him. What time is it? There’s a good chance she’ll walk in while they’re still talking about it. “It’s just...” Steve pauses, struggling to find the words, “It’s complicated, okay?”

“Complicated?” Robin repeats, over pronouncing each syllable. “Being a girl that wants to ask out another girl is complicated. Being a guy that likes a girl who is always flirting with him is not. It is the exact opposite of complicated.”

Steve blinks. “You think she’s flirting with me?”

Robin groans, rolling her eyes. “For the hundredth time, yes! No cheerleader wants to spend this much of her senior year watching movies, and no girl with her grades has that much time to spare.”

“That’s exactly why it’s complicated,” Steve blurts out. “Her GPA’s basically perfect and she’s a part of so many extra curriculars, I don’t even know how she has time to have a conversation with me. There’s no way she she won’t go to some fancy school that’s hundreds of miles away.”

Steve expects some kind of pity to soften Robin, but her stare never wavers. “Wow...now that is complicated, it’s not like there’s still a month until the school year ends and then an entire summer for you two to establish a real relationship that would have to end the second she goes to college because no one ever invented something called a phone.” Robin draws her eyebrows together in mock thought. “And it’s not like she’d ever come back to Hawkins to at the very least visit her family, and friends, and maybe even the loser that works at Family Video that won’t just ask her out already.”

Robin won’t let this go until Steve admits the one thing he’s always fighting to not think about. “She comes in every Wednesday, and returns the video every morning on her way to school. That means she watches them on Wednesday nights--not Fridays, Saturdays, or even Sundays. Wednesday night is her movie night.”

“I think we’ve established that.”

Steve presses his lips together, something in his stomach twisting. He has only one argument left, but something about using it doesn’t feel right. Opening his mouth feels like preparing to lose a molar. “The only kind of people that have regular, without fail, standing, middle of the week movie nights are people in relationships.” He takes a deep breath. “There’s no way someone like her doesn’t already have a boyfriend, anyway. So just--just forget it, okay? We have our Wednesday routine, and it’s--”

“Better than nothing?” Robin finishes, a tinge of sympathy finally coloring her attitude. Steve stays silent, part of him wishing he would have just put. up with some teasing. “Steve, I don’t know if she has a boyfriend, and I don’t know if other guys like her.” Robin blinks, reconsidering her words. “Actually--I know other guys like her, but either way, that doesn’t matter. The way she looks at you, the way she talks to you--she likes you.”

With his back against the counter, Steve pauses, trying not to consider Robin’s words. Is she right? Could there be more to their weekly banter as he pretends to not know where the newest videos are? He opens his mouth, still unsure on what to say.

“Y/n.” Robin breaks eye contact. She’s staring at something past Steve’s shoulder. He must have been so lost in thought he didn’t hear the bell.

Steve attempts to turn smoothly, but the way he twists is awkward. He sticks out his arm to stop himself from falling. Y/n is staring at Robin, a little confused as to why Robin just shouted out her name.

“Y/n,” Robin continues, “You--you’re um-a little early.”

Y/n draws her eyebrows together, a little confused by Robin’s energy. It’s not like the two have never interacted, but that much enthusiasm over her appearance isn’t adding up. “Yeah, the freshmen cheerleaders caught onto the routine way faster than usual, so coach let us out little early. I think she’s going easy on us because...well, you know.”

Something dark clouds her face and Steve instantly feels something twist in his stomach. Y/n is talking about Chrissy. Right now, Hawkins is grappling for answers, and Steve knows more than most. He knows that the police’s prime suspect is just as confused as the rest of them and all he did was witness it. Guilt roots itself in his chest and he’s not sure why. Even if he could tell Y/n what he knows, it wouldn’t help. It would force her into a world of danger and bring more questions than answer.

“You two were friends, right?” Steve manages, voice low. “You mentioned her in a couple stories.”

Y/n nods once absentmindedly. “Yeah, and I just--I keep replaying our last conversation. I was going to have some people over, and when I asked Chrissy she turned me down even though I told her I’d invite that guy she’s been trying to set me up with for weeks.”

His mind shouldn’t go where it does, but Steve can’t help it. A boy--another boy that Y/n invited into what was clearly a party but she’s pretending it wasn’t. Did she still invite him after Chrissy said no? And Chrissy said no--that has to be weird, right? That’s something that he should tell Dustin. Robin elbows him from beneath the check out counter, making him realize another point he shouldn’t have dismissed so quickly. If her friend has been trying to set Y/n up for weeks, that not only means that she doesn’t have a boyfriend, it means that she doesn’t want one. Or, at least, she doesn’t want whatever high school superstar Chrissy was trying to set her up with.

It’s no secret that Steve’s done the popular in high school thing. Even if someone doesn’t feel like they have time for a relationship, they date. No one doesn’t date for no reason. Does she like someone?

“Something was wrong, and I just keep thinking that if I had pressed a little more, maybe Chrissy would have told me, and--”

“You can’t blame yourself for something like that.” He wishes there was a way he could tell her how much it’s not her fault. Chrissy wasn’t a victim in the way that Y/n thinks. “Bad things have been happening in Hawkins for awhile.”

Y/n nods again, unconvinced. “Yeah.” Her hands move forward, smoothing the skirt of her uniform. “I’m going to try to find a copy of Pretty in Pink.” There’s something stiff about Y’n’s dismissal. “It feels weird to be watching a movie, but my sister has been begging to see it since it came out.”

Without another word, Y/n turns down the romantic comedy section. As soon as she’s no long visible, Robin lets her eyes go wide.

“Her sister,” Robin whispers, “Her movie nights are with her sister, she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and she’s been turning down guys for weeks.”

Steve’s stomach has never somersaulted this much in his life. He tries to swallow but his mouth has gone try. “She’s--”

Robin reaches over to the pile of long forgotten returned movies. She holds up the tape she was looking for. Pretty in Pink. “Go,” she waves him over, handing him the VHS.

Okay...now or never, right?

----

Y/n’s POV

Am I in the mood to watch a romantic comedy? It doesn’t matter. Nothing about what I want to do feels like it matters. Everything makes me feel guilty. Each class I take, each game I go to, is something that Chrissy didn’t get to do. Everything I do is something she’s never going to get to do.

Not only did she die, she experienced something brutal. In fifth period, her boyfriend told me the police officers didn’t even let her parents see Chrissy’s face. Who could have done something that terrible to her? That freak Eddie in that Hellfire cult, is what Chrissy’s boyfriend said.

I’m not sure I believe him. Sure, he’s been held back for as long as I can remember and whatever his friend group does makes like no sense to me, but being a little weird doesn’t make someone a murderer. Besides, my physics teacher assigned him as my lab partner. I’ve talked to him. He’s eccentric, a little loud, and in no way a friend of mine, but he’s not like those guys on the news. I really doubt he’s some kind of beginner Ted Bundy, and until there’s actual evidence, I don’t think I should be scared of him. I’m not going to go out of my way to wave at him in the halls, but I’m not hoping for his arrest either.

I just want answers...and to find this movie so that I can get home. It feels weird to do something so mundane, but my sister knew Chrissy, and she’s freaked out. The last thing she needs is a stray from routine, especially since I worked so hard to make sure we spend some time together my senior year. That’s a good excuse, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit a part of my adamance is the excuse to regularly see the guy that always has the Wednesday afternoon shift.

That weird fluttering feeling in my stomach that I feel whenever I see Steve Harrington is the one part of me that hasn’t changed throughout high school. None of my current friends ever acknowledge this, but the start of high school was nowhere near as easy as the end of it. I may be a cheerleading co-captain that’s definitely going to be nominated from prom queen now, but freshman year me used to spend free period making friends with the librarians. I’ve changed so much, and yet I can’t let go of Steve Harrington.

It’s ridiculous. Sure, he’s nice to me now, but it’s because I run into him at work. I also don’t doubt the fact that 17-year-old me is a lot less of an awkward weirdo than I was when we were in the same chemistry class. Ugh...I shouldn’t even be thinking about this. Chrissy’s dead and my sister is waiting for me at home.

I take my time scanning the movies in the romance aisle, a part of me hoping that Steve might come over here. He’s normally always coming up to me in order to either help me find movies or recommend something. It’s just a part of his job, but I can’t help the way the extra opportunity to talk to him makes me feel.

My eyes are still looking over film titles on the third shelf when I feel it again. Cold sweat against my neck and the palms of my hands. My stomach is a rock. Not again, not here. I take a deep breath, trying to read the titles in front of me but everything’s blurred. I blink and blink, but nothing clears up. The colors swirl together, and I’m no longer looking at movies. The pictures aren’t titles, they're depicting horror. Monsters with sharp teeth, bloody bodies, and broken people.

Has the lighting in here always been like this? So flushed and blue tinted and haunting--

Okay, breathe. Just br--

“Y/n...” The voice that whispers my name is gruff yet attempting to be soft. My skin crawls. “Y/n.” It’s coming from the other aisle. Something shifts. A shadowy image is peaking around the corner of the aisle. It’s tall and skewed the way a broken bone is. “Y/n.” It takes another step towards me.

My hand rests on a shelf, my knuckles turning white due to my grip. One more step and it will round a corner. I squeeze my eyes shut with all I have.

Something makes contact with my shoulder. My body turns, almost slamming into the shelf my hand was on. Forcing my eyes to focus, I see Steve. He’s withdrawn his hand, letting it linger in the air between us like his silent concern. I take a deep breath, the air settling in me like it’s supposed to.

Oh--I can breathe again. I blink twice. The lights no longer seem cold and the movie titles are once again just that. I turn my head as casually as I can manage. There is no longer a shadow peering around the corner.

I’m losing it, and I’m losing it in front of Steve. Chrissy’s death was a tragedy, but I don’t think grief makes people hallucinate things like that. What the hell am I seeing?

“Uh--Steve.” My words are more to myself than to him. Everything is normal and I don’t believe it. “Sorry, I’m jumpy today.” I scratch the back of my arm. “The whole Chrissy thing has messed with my head a little.” His eyes are soft, sympathetic. Great--a whole school year’s worth of process washed away. He’s thinks I’m crazy. There has to be a way to save this. “You should have seen me in English today after Tammy Thompson dropped a pencil that rolled under my desk.” The awkward laugh that follows my rambles might haunt me more than my hallucination.

Steve almost smiles. “This kind of stuff can mess with anyone’s head.” He lifts his other hand. “You said you were looking for Pretty in Pink, and our last copy was up front.”

Okay--everything is normal. He’s just doing his job. I don’t know what that makes me deflate a little. “Oh--thank you. My sister’s gonna love this.”

He nods, tapping his fingers against the side of the tape. “No problem.”

Steve turns, giving me some space to walk next to him. I’m glad for the excuse to get out of this aisle. I’d rather talk to him by the check out counter where nothing bad has happened to me.The farther I get from that corner, the safer I’ll feel.

Our hands dangle at our sides. It would take nothing for our fingers to touch. Steve walks away from me, letting the likely one-sided tension disappear as he settles behind the counter.

“I think it’s nice that you watch movies with your sister.”

My nails tap against the counter. “Yeah, she just started her freshman year and I’m graduating. I wanted to make sure we spent some time together this year. It’s been nice, but sometimes I miss being able to watch more action-y stuff. I used to be really into scary movies but now none of my friends want to watch them with me.”

"I can imagine why.”

He’s trying to make a joke, but what happened earlier hasn’t left my mind yet. I try to laugh it off with my reply. “I can’t blame my friends, I did always end up all over them.”

“Hey, Steve,” Robin says, “We’re going to need to reorganize the new releases before Friday because that’s when we’re supposed to get that new Poltergeist movie.”

Steve doesn’t even look towards the tapes that Robin is sorting through. “We just need to move the oldest from the new release section to--”

“The new Poltergeist movie is coming this Friday,” Robin repeats, words a little more emphasized than before, “A lot of people are going to want to watch it, so I think it’s important that we schedule a time to make it easier for people to find it.”

Steve finally turns his head towards her. “Oh.Yeah, I’ll check the display after I finish up here.”

“You know, I never even saw the first Poltergeist.”

There is no way. “You work at Family Video and you’ve never seen Poltergeist?”

My surprise must be as obvious as it feels because he pauses. “I just never got around to it.”

“’Never got around to it,’” I practically gasp, “That movie broke box office records when it first came out. I am seriously doubting every recommendation you’ve ever made to me.”

“I have a good taste!”

“Debatable.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Well, if it’s such a big deal, maybe you should watch with me.” I freeze more sharply than I mean to. Did he just ask me to do something? Like actually do something? “So that you can have proof that I watched it and my recommendation credibility can be restored.”

“Y-yeah.” Really--something that I’ve wanted for four years just happened and my reaction was the word ‘yeah’. “I’d feel a lot better taking your movie recommendations knowing that you’ve at least seen Poltergeist.”

The corner of Steve’s mouth turns upwards. “How’s Friday? My shift ends at 6:00 and I can put aside a copy of the sequel. Technically, not supposed to reserve merchandise, but I think I can get away with it.”

Two movies?! Okay--act calm. It’s not like I haven’t been asked out before, and I don’t even think this is a date. “You’ve got a bit of bad boy streak, Steve Harrington.”

Since when am I this awkward? Steve leans against the counter. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Calm. Act calm. He scans Pretty in Pink and hands it over. “Deal.”

----

Narrator’s POV

Y/n walks out the door with her weekly movie like she has every week, but something’s different.

Steve Harrington has plans with Y/n L/n. Steve Harrington has what could easily be considered a date with the girl he’s spent months pining over.

Robin and Steve turn to face each other after Y/n steps out of the store. The two high five.

“I did it!”

“More like I did it.”

----

first time writing for Stranger Things!! This took longer than I thought, and I still have enough ideas to make a part 2,, so if you enjoyed this, let me know!

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #stranger things x reader #st4 #stranger things four #stranger things season four #netflix stranger things #stranger things imagine

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dearestkong · 5 days

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reflections // starting the summer term 🌷💌

(feel free to skip … just a lot of rambling about changes of mindset, i’ll sum it up later in my new pinned.)

it’s been more than a month since I’ve started this blog, and I’m really really glad that I did. not because my productivity has spiked or my anxiety has diminished or whatever (though there have been positive effects), but because just attempting to start something like this meant that I was no longer willing to suffer and rot in private. i talked about the “hole of dysfunction and self-hatred” in my old introduction: for so long, that hole was my best-kept secret and my greatest shame. being competent and ambitious was an aspect of my personality, and I couldn’t handle the idea that it wasn’t true.

but then…. dearestkong emerged!! and I started being completely transparent. telling strangers about every day of self-destructiveness. it was a good form of accountability, sure, but it was also a means of telling the truth. this blog has been a way for me to say: i’ve been struggling, and it’s not a fluke or a “flop era” or something entirely disconnected from the high achiever i used to be. the girl fighting off inertia and the girl seemingly doing everything with ease are the same person.

🌷☆彡

my posts have been getting more optimistic recently, and that isn’t a fluke, either. lots of things have happened: i’ve realised how many people support and believe in me, i started taking medication for a problem i’ve had for a while (it’s crazy how the world seems so much brighter now?!!?!), i started writing in my diary again. i’m now 27 days clean from a self-destructive behaviour (this blog isn’t about my relationship with that, but in the early days i used to make a note of relapses and just the fact of acknowledging it felt so freeing to me. it wasn’t something to hide anymore, but a fight i was making progress with.)

this seems like a rapid evolution for such a new blog, right?! but in the next six months, i’m going to be applying to university. i’m about to undergo some of the most rapid evolutions of my life.

🌷☆彡

for so long, i’ve had this vague and unspecified dream: “doing the best” “working my hardest” “impressing my teachers”. now my dream has a name and a face and admissions results attached to it and it’s making me so scared that i want to throw up. when i was in the depths of the hole i couldn’t stop seeing my life as a binary. either i get in, or i don’t. and if i don’t, what the hell is the point of living?

38 days later and i feel a little differently. i am someone who has climbed out the hole of inertia and lived. i have done many things and they’ve all turned out fine— great, actually. i have reason to believe that things will go well.

i still have a pretty nasty relationship with myself, lol. it makes me really happy when people on this blog interact and talk, but they’re all so nice and it makes me feel a little fake. in reality i’m standoffish, awkward, and often mean. i coast by on intellectual abilities while slacking off. i’m a judgemental egoist who is sometimes self-destructive. all of that is true—>

but at the same time, i still have this crazy belief that i deserve the best. it’s literally an overflow of egoism ;;;; there’s nobody i’m more in love with than myself. i think of the girl i’ll be in the future with such affection, and i don’t want her to feel ashamed or resentful of me. she deserves to have her hopes fulfilled!! she deserves the brightest, the best that i can give her.

in conclusion: even if i don’t like the person i am at the present, i have to do it anyway. 1 because there’s no other option and 2 because i love the person i’ll be in the future too much to stop.

🌷☆彡

so from now on, the purpose of this blog is changing slightly. it’s no longer “get out of the hole and survive” like it used to be. we’re past that, we’re already surviving.

now, the aim is to “do my best so my future self can live with no regrets”. that’s not very concise but I’ll work on it.

let’s do this! 加油！

#kong’s reflections #study motivation #studyblr #girlblogging #self improvement #study with me #studyspo #student life #study study study #studying #studyinspo #chaotic academia

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queerly-autistic · 3 months

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My dad just messaged me going "seeing all this 'Save OFMD' stuff made me realise some things never change" and attached a load of pictures he'd dug up from fifteen years ago of me in my 'Save Ianto Jones' fan campaign era.

As much as it made me laugh, it also made me think about something that I've not talked about before: the fact that this is what introduced me to campaigning.

I was a very lost queer (undiagnosed autistic) kid, bullied and lonely and keenly aware that there were a lot of bad things happening in the world, but I had no idea how to begin to even try to change things, or even any awareness that there was anything I could do to change anything.

And then my favourite show killed off my favourite character, and I suddenly accidentally found myself swept up in the mobilisation (without even realising that that was what was happening) of the fan community around me. It's where I learned about the idea of campaigning as, y'know, a thing that I could do. It introduced me to the concept that I could actively try and do things to make a change I wanted to see in the world.

And now that's my actual literal real world adult job. This is what I do in my 9-to-5. Some of the skills I learned and developed at seventeen (and the lessons from the fuck-ups - oh boy there were many of those because I was seventeen) trying to get the BBC to un-dead my favourite bisexual welshman are skills that I now use every day to actually create change (such as writing persuasive emails to influence a specific target).

And I've also used them outside of the 9-5 in the smaller grassroots campaigns I've been involved with. For example, the skills I learned from a fan campaign when I was a teenager helped me play a small part in stopping the deportation of young autistic man, and potentially saved his life.

There's a HUGE amount of crossover/symbiosis between fan campaigns and 'real world' campaigning. A huge number of people involved in these fan campaigns are already involved in organising (or at the very least supporting/donating) for 'real world' issues. And, if they're not, then a fan campaign may well be their introduction to campaigning - a 'wow ok so I can actually do this' moment that inspires them to start pushing for change on other issues too.

It's fantastic if someone goes 'hey, I managed to call Netflix about picking up Our Flag Means Death, which has made me realise maybe I can also cope with picking up the phone to call my political representatives about [insert other issue here]' - and if the strategies they put in place to help them do the Netflix phone call also help them do the political phone calls as well, then that's absolutely brilliant.

The same with getting experience/confidence writing emails, or learning how to create and push a hashtag on social media, or realising the power of taking mass actions (like signing a petition). It even goes so far as inspiring people to follow up a fan campaign donation with an additional donation to a good cause, and helping direct them to some good charities/initiatives to donate to (because sometimes knowing which are the right ones to send your money too is very hard). These are all skills and experiences that can help build both confidence and understanding of how to get involved with campaigning for change, and these are absolutely transferrable to an infinite number of causes.

It's about people feeling empowered to take action: feeling like they can do it, that it's tangible to them as something they can do, and giving them the tools to do it. The endgame in real world advocacy and campaigning is getting stuff done: petitions signed, phone calls made, emails sent, donations collected, rallies attended.

And no one (outside of the internet moral purity police) cares if your journey getting there started with a fan campaign.

#erin waffles #save ofmd #save our flag means death #renew ofmd #renew our flag means death #adopt our crew #ianto jones #torchwood #save ianto jones #advocacy #campaigning #look at me in these pictures i'm a fetus

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madamvanrouge · 7 months

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Lilia Vanrouge X Reader

✿Briar's Secret [Part 3]✿

Note: Angst, fluff?, Meleanor's little sister!reader, chief strategist!reader, mentions of death in war, human-fae war era.

Contains my twst oc Midnight.

"What's taking her so long?!" Lilia paced about the clearing they'd relocated to with a scowl. That damn princess! If only she'd allowed Lilia to stay by her side! [Y/N] was a total pain in the ass, that was for sure. But Lilia couldn't help but worry about her. She'd been the most annoying brat in his life since she was born, but she was precious to him. To him, she was- no. It couldn't be love. He could never love. Especially not an obnoxious brat like her. Not possible.

"Oh, just admit you are enamoured with her. I know you have been kissing your pillow while thinking of her." Meleanor rolled her eyes. Malleus' egg rested in her arms.

Lilia spun around, anger flashing across his face as he tried desperately to veil the obvious embarrassment on his face. "HAVE NOT!" He snapped, turning his head away from Meleanor. These damn Draconian princesses and their attitudes. It was a miracle Lilia had survived his childhood with them constantly attached at his hip. How'd Meleanor learn he did with that with his pillow anyways? Goddamn it.

"Oh, how obvious you are, Lilia. My poor sister does deserve to know of your awfully sappy romantic feelings for her. You ought to court her as a proper man would." Meleanor shrugged.

"I don't want to court that stupid excuse of a chief strategist." Lilia scowled, yet the blush on his face only betrayed his true feelings. Even the usually clueless Baul had always known of the General's feelings towards [Y/N].

"Footsteps, sire!" Baul alarmed, his sharp and loud voice immediately bringing them into stances that showed an exhibition of well trained defense. Lilia prayed with all his heart that it was [Y/N]. That she'd come back safe. For Meleanor. For him.

Midnight's figure materialized in the clearing. Lilia's heart soared, a happy smile adorning his face as he waited for the familiar face of the second princess to pop out from behind the assassin.

Except Midnight was alone.

Alone.

No [Y/N].

Lilia's blood ran cold, his fingers twitching slightly as he felt a creeping dread invade his senses and possess his body. He convulsed slightly in shock as he felt a low tremble in his legs.

He stormed over to Midnight, before Meleanor or Baul could say or do anything. Fury had overtaken the General, rage fueled his mind as he crossed his arms over his chest, his expression and voice cold enough to make the temperature drop. Even Midnight shuddered slightly at the sight. "Where the hell is [Y/N]?" Lilia questioned, each word laced with an icy undertone.

Midnight remained quiet, his eyes trained on the ground. Lilia grabbed Midnight's collar, his crimson eyes filled with rage and obvious hatred. "WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?! ANSWER ME!" The damn human assassin kept staring at the ground. Meleanor herself was angry, just a single moment away from hurling a thunderbolt at Midnight. Lilia already knew from Midnight's silence, what had happened. It was something Lilia did himself quite often when he went to visit his dead comrades' families. He despised this silence.

"She asked me to tell Princess Meleanor that she loves her. That she loves Sir Baul and the staff. And that-" Midnight paused as he finally looked into Lilia's eyes. "-the 'idiot Lilia' should hurry up and marry her. That she loves him."

Lilia's heart felt as if it had been stabbed with a blade, torn out and squelched into a thin strip of absolute, hollow nothingness. A nauseous feeling crept up to his throat as he fought hard to hold back his useless, pathetic tears. Guilt washed over him as if it was a thing of absolute naturality.

"DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!" He yelled, kicking Midnight harshly in the gut, causing Midnight to wince in pain. He exhaled heavily, barely managing to keep himself standing. "Damn it-" Lilia's voice trailed off weakly.

[Y/N] had been annoying him since childhood. She'd been the most annoying brat in his life. She'd constantly pester him to marry her when they were kids. She'd force him into stupid, pink frilly dresses, force him to play stupid pebble games and dolls with her and drag him around for hours. She'd make him annoyed till he gave in to her ridiculous demands.

He missed her.

All of this had to be a lie. Someone was playing a cruel joke on him. Maybe [Y/N] was playing a prank on him as usual. Maybe she'd pop out from the bushes behind Midnight and say "Gotcha, stupid Lilia!" as usual. Please. She had to be here somewhere. Lilia strained his eyes for any sign of the upbeat, sassy princess. But the forest was silent.

She'd loved him. She'd loved Lilia. He was such an idiot to have never noticed. He thought she'd lost her feelings for him growing up. He felt useless. Pathetic. He loved her. Ah shit. It was too late, wasn't it? He had no one to blame but himself. If only he'd stopped her. If only he'd stayed by her side. If only he'd stuck with his gut feeling that something was wrong. This was all his fault. All his damn fault. Lilia grabbed his mask and put it on, to prevent anyone from seeing his tears. He was so weak.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HER, FOOL?!" Meleanor hissed as she hurled a thunderbolt at Midnight. The assassin took it head on.

"I cannot go against her orders. The princess only ever does what is right." Midnight replied meekly. Lilia's veins twitched in anger as he tried not to strangle the damn kid.

"She was a person too! Even she made mistakes! And you have made the mistake of letting her sacrifice herself! You are as good a perpetrator as the rest of your kind!" Meleanor roared.

Midnight's eyes seemed to flash with hurt. Oh well, he deserved it, in Lilia's eyes. He very well deserved the damn pain. Only that Lilia deserved it more.

Lilia walked over to Midnight and struck him repeatedly. He struck Midnight with blows till the human assassin bled. Meleanor watched on, her own anger abating as she watched Lilia deliver the rightful punishment to who they believed to be the perpetrator. Baul too, spectated helplessly as the General beat up Midnight.

And once he was done, General Lilia Vanrouge stormed off, with Meleanor and Baul trailing after him as Midnight lay alone on the forest floor.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

NOTE: DO NOT REPOST OR PLAGIARIZE MY WORK!

#malleus draconia #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader #twst lilia #diasomnia #diasomnia x reader

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dailydragon08 · 8 months

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I hate the “no attachments” rhetoric so much and I hate that both Ahsoka and Luke in Mando and TBOBF fell straight back into it. Cuz they especially should know more than anyone that the feelings of isolation, feeling like you’re not in a safe space to healthily process your emotions—which requires actually feeling them and being in an environment where you’re allowed to feel them—and feeling like you have a support system where you can speak your feelings without judgment to get guidance and support is REQUIRED for Jedi to stay on the light side. Cuz loneliness, feeling like a burden, feeling like if you have one bad emotion it makes you all bad because of rules around feelings that are unrealistic and too rigorous makes you way more susceptible to the dark side.

Trying to beat bad emotions out of people completely is unrealistic. Expecting literal children to not feel those feelings and just know what to do with them cuz you’ve created a space where those feelings are forbidden is unrealistic. Pushing feelings and emotions down and “burying” them (re: obi wan telling luke “bury your feelings deep down” in ROTJ) and expecting those people to be perfectly healthy is unrealistic. Wanting this level of control over people, their thoughts, and their emotions, and this black and white thinking is not only toxic and dangerous, but is akin to cult culture. The PT era Jedi were extremists in this way and just too blind and couldn’t accept any criticism enough to see it because for some reason, a bunch of old guys decided evolution was not allowed and they’d just keep running the system the same way they always had with no room for change and that would somehow be this foolproof path to survival—which is a complaint a lot of people have about our current irl political system and is causing a lot of damage, btw.

Like wasn’t that the whole point of showing the Jedi’s fall? And doesn’t clone wars especially show how this thinking created all these cracks in the system that Palpatine was easily able to exploit and manipulate and Anakin was just someone who wanted change in the order and he was ostracized for it, so Palpatine latched onto him and Anakin was like “oh finally someone values me,” just to be manipulated and abused and have his whole life blown up to the point that he thought the empire was his only option (obv not excusing the atrocities, just saying I can see how he got to where he did mentally by ROTS)? Like he literally tells Luke that they can team up to overthrow the emperor and in ROTJ, when Luke tries to get him to run with him pre-throne room battle, he says “it’s too late for me,” so he KNOWS this is bad and only going to get worse, but has resigned himself to it.

Like wasn’t the whole point of the OT and the “I can’t kill my own father/there’s still good in him/I can turn him back to the good side” meant to prove that Jedi DO NEED healthy connections in order to thrive and stay on the light side? If they wanna forbid anything, they should be forbidding possession and control, but the PT Jedi Council instead used that for their own benefit and lacked any self awareness to see they’d just become what they were preaching against.

Like give me a post-OT Jedi council who teaches healthy connection and letting things go that aren’t meant for you to control and that friendships and relationships can be powerful things that bring you back to the light in your darkest moments, and a more Legends-esque New Jedi Order that values emotional health and well-being and is a safe space for not only the galaxy, but Force sensitives, no matter how they’re built instead of trying to force everyone into the same box. This is the order I wanted to see Luke cultivate in canon and I will forever be salty that this isn’t what we got.

#luke skywalker #star wars #star wars discussion #anti sw sequels #anti disney star wars #anti jedi #anti jedi council #anti prequel era jedi #new jedi order #anakin skywalker #darth vader #anti no attachment #the mandolarian #tbobf #mandolorian spoilers #the book of boba fett #tbobf spoilers #the book of boba fett spoilers

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passports-pls · 8 months

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I was very disappointed in the lack of quality Mine playlists so I made my own 🤞

Listen here

you COULD listen to it in your own free time OR you could listen to it alongside my mentally insane directors commentary 😌

(under the cut)

for the sake of this post not getting too long I am grouping all the important songs into different categories pertaining to the different eras of mine tm

Pre-Daigo Misery (Nobody - The Other Woman)

This section is mostly abt Mine being a lonely little weirdo (characterised mostly by the smiths unsurprisingly) and because this era lacks a lot of actual content my notes are less specific between songs

There are actually so many male manipulator songs that fit too perfectly with Mine in this part of his life that I couldn't resist like I'm sorry but creep by radiohead is LITERALLY about him i don't make the rules

Okay but I do find 'Heaven Knowns Im Miserable Now' so funny in this context because I'm sure Mine was forcing himself into the yakuza expecting it to be so much easier to have close connections with these other men compared to his previous 9-5, only to find its almost exactly like his 9-5 just with more crime

'Salvatore' and 'Therefore I Am' are specifically the songs I attach to his bateman-esque grindset and his bubbling hatred for most of the people he works with dsfgf

okay but THE OTHER WOMAN ASWELL. It's literally mine you wouldn't understand. He dedicates so much time to taking care of himself and setting himself up to be an actual catch of a man and yet,, no one gives a shit about him despite all the effort he puts into his lifestyle to appeal to the ppl around him

LIKE??? Kicking and screaming he's so lana del ray coded

Just the sheer depression of this era i feel so bad for him

Yandere-mode activated (Can't Get You Out of My Head - The Killing Moon)

Self explanatory however actually finding songs that pertain to his specific brand of obsession was surprisingly difficult sfdsf

Although I will say that I cope and seethe at the fact that I had to sift through Killing Stalking playlists to settle on most of these songs gfdgsf

Theres such a delicate balance between the right amount of fluff and insanity that very few songs capture without being about literal stalking

like no in this case the stalker fucking won

that and vibes of idolizing Daigo like a god, I think 'Out of Touch' and 'Stolen Dance' do this the best

And freak because I can only imagine in all of Mine's relationships it's always been purely transactional and no ones ever put in the effort to actually talk and get to know Mine in any intimate form.

my poor touch starved blorbo

FEELINGS TM (Romantic Homicide - How to Dissapear)

THIS SECTION I FEEL GREATLY ABOUT

These songs to me are all about how Mine copes with Daigo's hospitalisation and when he wakes up. His whole internal battle surrounding his premature grief and his loss of connection with Daigo because could no longer see him as a truly living thing anymore

'Change' specifically hits when you think about it in this context. Because it's not so much about any real change in Daigo himself it's all about Mine's mental image of him now (because let's be real, Mine was way more in love with the idealised version he had of Daigo more than anything tangible about him)

IFHY is a little more of any iffy choice but I think it still convey's a lot about how conflicted Mine likely felt as well as just continuing his Yandere behaviour just in a much more sinister flavour

Okay but here's where my favourite song of the entire list is

WHITE FLAG BABY

admittedly it's completely self indulgent and ties into the mine-lives theory. But just the guilt and shame Mine felt when he see's that Daigo was indeed alive and that he was going to have to explain the past few weeks to him

yeah i would've thrown myself off that roof as well

also the lyric "I will go down with this ship" paralleling his "everyone abandons ship eventually" line just tickles my brain in the best way

'Door' and 'I Guess' are also just Mine guilt tm as well

'I guess' even more specifically because he's literally attached himself to daigo like a parasite and now he's thinking daigo's gonna break up with him I just AUGH

He KNOWS he's completely fucked up but I don't think he realises how much of a pushover Daigo is just yet and that he would have forgiven him eventually gjfdg

I'll probably update this with more notes as I remember them but for now I hope y'all enjoy the playlist!

#mine yoshitaka #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #character playlist #Yakuza 3 #playlist #now I can finally listen to Mine flavoured goodness without gritting my teeth #Spotify

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squivulous · 7 months

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My Podcast Masterlist

I have a long commute, giving me two hours a day to listen to podcasts. Here is my documentation of all the audio dramas I’ve consumed plus a little blurb. I just wanted to organize them in a list and also (selfishly) get recommendations if anyone would be so kind. Or maybe you’ll see something that’ll interest you. Enjoy!

Podcasts I’m Caught Up With

The Penumbra Podcast: I’ve made an animatic for this one. I’m down bad. This is the one that sucked me into this podcast world.

Malevolent: Arthur dating sim when??? Everyone wants him. Also it took me way too long to find out it was an actual play podcast.

Red Valley: Gordon fan all the way. Normally I do like the Sad Boy but Gordon is that type of dorky that makes me want to protect him.

Caravan: Interesting world and love a main character that makes questionable decisions. Everything is going to be fine :)

WOE.BEGONE: I’m obsessed. It happened slowly but now I think about it every day… And the music is so good! Mike Walters is cringefail, bbygurl, easy to manipulate, and saws his left arm off at the shoulder.

The Cellar Letters: Legit gets me spooked at times. Steve and Nate are good vibes. I’m sure glad nothing ever happens to them.

Harbor: Love that Sam being a malewife ruined his life.

Rifted: Aurora, another Sad Boy to add to my collection. Daniel should give him a kiss to make him feel better.

Heroics: Pls come back some day… I need more Josh. He’s in his slay era.

Second Fiddles: Max is owning being a bbygurl. Also there are a lot of poop jokes which is weird but I’ll look past it.

Hand in Glove: idk anything about baseball but these baseball players are smoochinggg.

Find Us Alive: Lancaster in booty jorts. It's canon. Don't look it up. I'm right. ALSO HE NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM PLS.

The Kingmaker Histories: The kiss is still the subject of much historical debate. Eisen <3

The Viridian Wild: It hasn’t been updated since 2021 but I still have hope.

Dos: After You: Ghosting GONE WRONG

Brimstone Valley Mall: SEASON TWO IS COMING. 90’s mall setting is really fun and I’m here for the thing Asmoraius and Trent have going on.

Levian: It starts off with a bang! Well not quite since his sister walks in oops. Excited to see where this pirate tale takes us.

Midnight Burger: Each episode is a delight and as someone who is bad at science, I appreciate Gloria and Caspar. Caspar pls stay forever and also Brodie <3

Return Home: I’m really listening to it for Buddy and DW.

Raythe Reign: Sometimes you need a yaoi.

The White Vault: At this point, I know what I’m getting into and yet still decide to get attached to these characters

The Amelia Project: Please don’t hurt the Interviewer! He’s too goofy for all this drama. I’m scared!

Fawx & Stallion: James Stallion being canonically hot in any situation is such a win

Victoriocity: Inspector Fleet has had a long week and needs some days off

Yokai Detective Agency: I’m always a sucker for detective stories and I’m looking forward to where this one is going

Desert Skies: Charming characters and love that the plot has a nice pace, not dragging things out

The Grotto: the music is so good but also please help. The emotional turmoil is torrential.

Camlann: Yo…. Dai, for real???

Podcasts I’ve Completed

Dash: This might not be completed? This is actually the first audio drama I finished. Classic noir but supernatural and boys are smooching!

The Two Princes: This was wholesome and had good vibes. I prefer the first season but it was still a fun time.

The Magnus Archives: Arrived late to the party on this one, but I love all the fanart. Awakened my interest in pathetic men.

EOS 10: I also am not 100% sure this is done but I enjoyed the shenanigans!

Wolf 359: Eiffel, my beloved. I liked the silly and dramatic parts of this story. It hurt my soul but it was worth it :)

Time:Bombs: noahdeaart's fanart made me think this was going in a different direction... Still a fun one!

Valence: Love this one WAAAAHHH! Pls listen. I love Nico. Sad Boy but hides it under their chaos energy.

The Bright Sessions: I would 1005% listen to a spin-off just about Mark. This Sad Boy keeps collecting trauma and I need to see him and Oliver maybe go on adventures or something. ANYTHING.

Roommates: I, too, had a pandemic college experience. It's kinda bizarre that there's already a story about that and I love it!

Look Up: Wholesome. Briggon Snow kept me fed.

Moonface: Appreciate having an audio drama from an Asian American perspective. Didn’t realize how much I needed that.

Murray Mysteries: Must protect Jonathan.

Kaleidotrope: More wholesome content. I got more into it by the second half. The hosts have a fun dynamic!

Re: Dracula: Still thinking about Inside You.

Wooden Overcoats: Rudyard is my fav. Chapman deserves the hate.

The Vanishing Act: this Rudyard wasn’t my fav. I was happy to listen to him suffer but also happy when he fell in love. A win for Griffson!

Greater Boston: Michael Tate <3

Ars Paradoxica: Nikhil Sharma <3

Podcasts I’m Catching Up On

Life with Althaar: I knew that plant lady was sus

The Night Post: Ashley……

Love and Luck: I’m on ep 87 now some magical things are going down

Going Lowbrow: I wasn’t expecting a musical but I’m not complaining.

SAYER: There are no bees on Typhon :)

WTNV: I got behind during high school and now I’m too scared to get caught up… one day. It's been so long at this point I think I'd need to start over.

BRASS: I fell behind on episodes :(

Not Quite Dead: If there are vampires, I'm automatically interested. Only a few eps in.

Hi Nay: I’m listening to Murphy respectfully.

Podcasts I’ve Dropped

Moonbase Theta Out

Dreamboy

Archive 81

The Sheridan Tapes

Jar of Rebuke

I’ll keep this updated every so often. Most of these I’ve found either from scouring rec lists or seeing nice fanart.

Please let me know of any recommendations you may have! Thanks for reading if you got this far. Mad respect.

Last updated: 04/14/24

#podcasts #podcast recs #audio drama #squiv speaks #I didn't know I listened to this many

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alittledizzy · 7 months

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I absolutely agree with you on all points regarding the ask about Dan and Phil building an audience back, what's holding them back, etc. When they both started posting a little more regularly again after their coming out videos, and seemed to be hinting at trying to post content again, I was excited. However, I can't say I wasn't disappointed in Dystopia Daily. It's like Dan mentally cannot break free of 2016 internet humor, right down to even his snarking, depreciating humor about his audience being outdated. Phil has gotten much better about being himself on-camera, but you can tell he's still keeping it at arms-lengths. Which is fine, he's certainly entitled to create a healthy barrier, but watching the two of them in 2023 is like trying to straighten a slightly crooked picture but just not quite being able to get it right. Just...off. I think the tours were supposed to be their "grand finale" and now they just want to settle back into how things were before, but don't know how to do that without drawing from what they're comfortable with. Which they haven't done regularly since 2016, so that's their comfort zone. They want things to work within their comfort zone, but that might not happen.

"watching the two of them in 2023 is like trying to straighten a slightly crooked picture but just not quite being able to get it right"

this is the best description of them i've seen in recent history.

it's also something you can compare to other content creators that are still going; most have shifted content away from sit down stare at the camera videos into something softer and more blurred into their life. zoe and alfie vlog, louise vlogs, tyler streams on twitch. they're all still content creation but they've understood that the time for persona heavy youtube creating has come and gone.

i don't think dan and phil could, would, or should vlog. they wouldn't enjoy that. i don't even want phil to stop making sit down videos if he's that attached to the format! but they need to find what is their own middle ground between the rigid division of their pre-coming out selves and finding comfort with an audience. i think youtube for phil feels safe right now but i do not think it is on any level creative or challenging for him. i said something similar before, but watch even his 'questions i wouldn't normally answer' video and tell me he's pushing even a single boundary in it.

and if he is honestly happy with them having made their bank and likely being able to live on the interest from investments and residuals for the rest of their lives, more power to them. i'm here because i love them as people. i will never stop following them with passion and interest.

"I think the tours were supposed to be their "grand finale" and now they just want to settle back into how things were before"

i think this is correct and also where it gets even stickier because they are out of touch. with younger audiences and the content they want. with no video platforms and what does well there. i think they understand the audience they cultivated years ago very well, for better or worse, but that's not going to get them forward momentum.

i think a podcast would be a great way for them to safely do that. but i think their perception of how the audience would react to joint content is skewed too. phil gets numbers on meme tweets but nothing short of dan dropping an hour and a half 'here's a timeline of my relationship with phil' is going to pull ten million views so they've surpassed the era where they need to fear about making major headlines anywhere. they whethered that storm and i'm happy for them, i'm just not convinced they realize that. since obviously to a singular person any amount of direct attention is going to feel like a Lot.

#anon asks #phan asks

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4rainynite · 4 months

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Scooby Doo x Goosebumps

This better be some universal foreshadowing that we're getting a Scooby and Goosebumps crossover or I'll be so mad!

This week while I was in Barnes & Nobles I came across this and almost cried from joy. I'm a huge fan of Scooby- Doo and Goosebumps so this was just perfection. I know this was most likely a setup from leftover Halloween stuff, but I love it (also give the person a raise for the idea)!

Headcanon Time/ Scooby Doo x Goosebumps AU:

The Mystery INC is called by an anonymous benefactor to help find some missing people (mainly children) in a small town.

The gang jump to it since they love mysterious, but they love helping people more.

Once they arrive in the small town they begin investigating and hear strange stories around town for example: an evil dummy coming to life, a witch who grants terrible wishes, haunted mask that attach to people and turn them evil, cameras that predict omens, and so on.

At first the gang thinks it's another hoax and real estate plot, but the stories sound eerily familiar like something out of a 1980's -90's children horror book series.

The townsfolk don't trust Scooby - Doo due to his abilities to do things a normal dog can't possible do: speak human language, cook, dance, the works. This hurts Scooby and makes him start doubting himself (how dare you townspeople!).

The gang then investigate a writer who half the town think is responsible due to the kidnappings are similar to the horror novels he writes. When they meet the writer it's none other than *drumroll* R.L. Stine (who plays himself in the movie fanfic).

Mystery Inc: It's famous children's horror writer, R.L. Stine!

At first Velma is excited to meet the famous R.L.Stine, but after her encounter with Ben Ravencroft, she fears he'll be the same as Ben. Until -

R.L. Stine: So, you've met Mr. Ravencroft. How was he?

Velma: (Gloomy) I was excited to finally meet one of my favorite writers. Only to be disappointed when he turned out to be evil.

R.L. Stine: Yep! I met him before, he's a huge jerk! You should've met Stephen King aka the 'Adult horror writer of Goosebumps'.

Velma: *Perks up*

R.L. Stine reveals that he called them, and he is the cause of what is going on due to bunch of works he never finished/ can't find the ending for a current story from his old typewriter he had since he was nine, and if he can't come up with an ending soon things will get worse. The gang don't believe him and think all the rumors around town about him being the kidnapper are getting to him. The gang stays with R.L. Stine's place during the investigation and Scooby and Shaggy come across certain items from the Goosebumps, Fear Street, The Nightmare Room, and The Haunting Hour franchise. Scooby and Shaggy come across Slappy in his inactive state and unknowingly read his spell.

The next day Stine's home is trashed with a message in blood (or ketchup) reading: SLAPPY'S BACK!

Slappy (played by Jack Black or Cal Dodd) plans to possess Stein to bring a new era of horror to the world. He's been bringing all the monster/villains to life and the real world and framing Stine for the crimes.

Slappy: Hello papa, I'm back!

R.L. Stine: Slappy!

Slappy: That's right. Ooh! I see you got some friends and their dog.

Scooby: Rog rhere?

Shaggy: Check it out Scoob, the puppet really is haunted.

Daphne: Yeah, I guess we were due an evil dummy sooner or later.

Slappy: (Flabbergasted) W-what? You're not scared of me?

Fred: No offense Mr. Slappy, but we've dealt with real monsters before.

Velma: Zombies, cat-people cultist, witch's ghost, aliens, virus monsters, the list goes on and on.

Shaggy: Me and Scooby here even taught at a monster school once.

Scooby: Reah!

Slappy: Wow! I just met you people and I hate you already.

The gang and Stine recruit now adults Carly Beth, Danny Anderson, Hannah Fairchild (ghost child), and a few others to help end Slappy's reign.

There's an epic battle and the find a way to defeat Slappy and return everything to normal. R.L. Stein and the gang are cleared of all charges and are now heroes to the town!

It wouldn't be Goosebumps without a twist - Slappy survives and with his own typewriter he begins writing his own series. His first book is of the original Goosebumps series with an image of Mystery Inc. and R.L. Stine in the Mystery Machine with looks of terror on their faces.

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snakegorl212006 · 9 months

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The “little things” they do (Ignihyde)

-------------Idia------------------------------------

Being watched is something I grew accustomed to. Living with ghost watching your every move. Idia is no different although he tends to avoid me then most. Prefers to be on his own and barely bothers me unlike his younger brother. idia is a man of secrets and every time i clean or spend a night over here there’s always some specific room he doesn't want me to visit or stumble upon. He’s simply a normal shy stereotypical ghost. But lately he’s gone creeper. Sometimes i can see a flicker of light in my room every now and then or he just looks at me behind some corner. I should be used to being watched but….idia’s glances are the most chilling.

“Idia” i spoke which made him jump from his seat. He turns around to me all timidly “y yes” he asked “you know you can just come talk to me” i stated and he nods “then why do you just stare at me all day” i asked “doesn't the others do the same thing” Idia replied “yes but even rook says hello to me. You don’t have to be so shy. Feel free to be open” I stated before walking off. I suppose I let my guard down around him but he’s too timid to even interact with me. So I thought…

Idia asked me to clean his lab so I obliged and aided in his organization. While cleaning i came across a picture. It was a well done sketch of a person in some school uniform. The date seems to be somewhere in the victorian era like 1800’s. They somehow have my face. There were more papers of this person below and notes scattered around. I never read the notes, only saw pictures. Similarly to the build of ortho, this person was a build for some doll. This doll model had my name as the name for the doll. Maybe it’s something like Cater. I brushed it off and placed back the loose papers in the folder. Once I was done cleaning I began to head out of the lab. Once out i saw a door open. I assumed idia was there so I went to the door and entered the room. The room was pitch black so I had to feel around for a light switch. There wasen’t a switch but there was a string which I pulled on to illuminate the room. Paper scattered around designs,outfits, part blueprints. Everywhere and scattered around. All had something in common each had my name on them. In the center of the room was a life size doll. This doll had the same uniform as the picture found in the lab and it had my face “you weren’t suppose to see this yet…” a voice spoke from behind. Idia stood tall in the darken corner. He walks up the the doll and fixed the clothing “do you....like it” he asked “this is supposed to be your present when you die” Idia explained “I’m not dying yet” I replied “Oh I know. I prefer you to stay alive just a little longer” Idia stated as he looks at me “I want to reminisce how you look just like them” He smiled “same face. Same scars…almost like a digital copy” Idia list “once i can make my attachment to your soul. You’ll be able to use this doll. Like you’re alive. Like ortho. Wouldn't that be cool” Idia said “what if i don’t want a attachment” I asked “like you have a choice” he frowns as the tips of his hair turns red “ok…” i mumbled “so do you like it so far” Idia asked “ya.. Keep up the good work” I replied which made him soften “I’ll continue to work hard..for you” He smiles not caring if i lied through my teeth.

----------------Ortho-----------------------------------

“Big sister, where are you?” ortho asked. I was currently in the kitchen making a snack for myself “I’m in here” i called a doll like head popped though the corner. “Can we go outside” Ortho asked “sure. Idia’s locked in his lab again” i asked and he nods “it’s fine though he’s busy with your gift” ortho said with a smile. I know what that gift was. I stumbled upon it the other night. There’s nothing gift worthy about it. “When will you think you’ll use it” ortho asked “i…I don’t know” i replied “Big brother worked really hard on it so I’m happy you like it” ortho smiled and i just nod as i finished up my food “hmm how would you want to die. I can do it painlessly if you like” Ortho asked “painlessly” i questioned “I did it with idia so i can do it for you too if you like” the child beamed. My blood went cold as i let this information sink in. “dose Idia know” I asked and he nods enthusiastically “He understands how lonely it is being dead so I had him join me” he smiled “If you’ll allow me. You can join us and we wouldn’t be lonely anymore” He stated. “Well how about we don’t talk about it and plan a surprise for your brother” I stated trying to change the topic. Ortho beamed and nod “come on let’s go in town and look for something” Ortho said as he dragged me by my hand so care free like this conversation never happened.

#twsited wonderland haunted au #twisted wonderland ghost au #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere idia x reader #yandere idia shroud x reader #yandere platonic #yandere platonic ortho shroud

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