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frozenjokes · 1 month

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I Need [You] [To Be] A Hero! (1/2)

note: this is a pretty direct sequel to this fic, but can probably also be read on its own. wouldn’t recommend it though. ALSO. there is a misunderstanding involving domestic abuse in this fic, when in reality nothing has actually happened. still, if that makes you uncomfortable I would definitely skip.

It was safe to say Scar was freaking out a little. Grian, Cub’s roommate who he had never met before, not even as HotGuy, was in his house experiencing some sort of mental health crisis- what the fuck was happening?

His first impulse was to call Cub- of course that was what he wanted to do, but Cub had made it quite clear he was not happy with HotGuy right now, and Grian had been adamant that he couldn’t go home- that there was no one Scar could call who could help.

But when Grian woke up the next day, not leaving his room until the early afternoon, Scar didn't want to tell Cub anything at all. Grian’s face was all sorts of fucked, bruised to all hell, and Scar didn’t remember seeing bruises last night, but it was dark and he had been tipsy- Though, Grian had been wearing quite a heavy amount of makeup, which he seemed to have washed off now.. Oh god. Grian didn’t want to talk about what had happened, and Scar didn’t want to push, but he was suddenly quite worried about what was hidden under the sleeves of his sweater. Grian hadn’t wanted to be touched last night either- fuck.

Scar didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do. Though, he got his answer pretty quick when HotGuy’s phone buzzed in his back pocket, his heart sinking at a text from Cub.

‘Have you seen CuteGuy at all? Last night? Important.’

What did he want to know about CuteGuy? Suspicion curled in his gut, but maybe that was just anger, or hurt, or any number of emotions turning his stomach. He hadn’t, obviously. He hadn’t been working last night.

‘No, but I need to talk to you. Meet me for lunch, same place, or anywhere that’s easiest for you. 2:00.’

‘I’ll be there. Is something wrong?’

Scar could only frown at the message, staring for too long before leaving it unanswered, dropping his phone back in his pocket.

“Hey, Grian, I have to meet someone for work. I’m going to lunch, and I can bring you something back if you want. Could be a while, but I grabbed a few things from the grocery store, so you can make yourself something if you don’t want to wait. Doesn’t matter either way, just text me. Whatever you want, I’ll make it happen.”

“Okay,” Grian mumbled, looking just as miserable as he sounded. He never looked up from his phone, scrolling aimlessly with lidded eyes. The sight broke Scar’s damn heart.

“Try and eat something, alright?”

“Okay.” Just about as noncommittal as it gets. Well. He would make sure Grian got dinner at least.

Scar wasn’t used to being unable to change in this house, but it wasn’t too big of a deal. He stopped by his hospital instead, the one that would glue him back together whenever needed, and changed there, leaving behind the bits of his disguise to pick up later. It wasn’t much, just the wig and the clothes he was wearing, but it still took a bit of time to fix his hair, adjust his makeup- just getting into his uniform could be a chore sometimes, especially when his prosthetics were deciding to be difficult- he was going to have to get those repaired again soon. A problem for another day.

By the time everything was said and done, he was a bit late, though he didn’t feel very bad. Cub deserved to squirm a bit as far as Scar was concerned, but he did try and hurry it up regardless.

And squirming he was.

Cub was a complete nervous wreck when Scar managed to arrive and sit down, which was reasonable, all things considered, but Scar was glad for it. He should be nervous.

“Uh, hi,” Cub spoke before Scar could, “I had a question, actually, I mean, I know you’re a superhero and that’s your thing, but are you- do you arrest people? Is that a thing you do? I couldn’t really find any answers online, I wasn’t sure.” Cub fidgeted with his hands when Scar frowned, almost aggressively avoiding eye contact.

“Why? Have you committed any crimes?” Scar couldn’t help himself from shooting back, the anger crawling beneath his skin getting the better of him.

“Uh,” Cub paused for what had to be an abnormal amount of time, “No. Just curious.”

“Just curious? Well no, most of the time, not really. My job isn’t to take people into custody, just to stop them from hurting other people or damaging anyone’s property. Our police force is a bit pathetic though, if you haven’t noticed, so most of the time our villains don’t really stay in jail.”

“You’re upset with me.” Cub said the words like facts, which they were, and stared. Scar stared right back.

“I think ‘upset’ is the wrong word here.”

“If this is about that fight with you and CuteGuy, I don’t think you have any right to be unhappy with me. That was stupid, you were both being stupid, and someone could have gotten hurt. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out or anything, but things have been bad at home, and I didn’t have the time or energy to talk, so some patience would be appreciated.”

“For goodness’ sake, I’m not mad about the fight.”

“Then why- I don’t care. I don’t have time for this. I- I need help. Someone I know did- has been doing some really bad things, and I want to help him, but I just don’t know how, and he ran off and he’s not answering his calls and-“

“Someone you know, huh?”

“Yes- What is wrong with you? Why are you acting so shitty?”

“I want to know what you did to Grian.”

“Wh-“ Cub stopped short, freezing completely, “What I- Scar, have you seen him? Is he okay? Is he safe? Do you know where he is? I don’t- What do you think I did?”

“I don’t think he feels safe at home, Cub. He’s got all sorts of bruises where people don’t just get bruises.”

Silence. Scar’s frown deepened, while all Cub could seem to do was gape.

“Oh fuck, Scar, I did not- Scar, this is a huge misunderstanding, I have not hurt Grian, I need you to believe me- I need your help.”

“I don’t believe you, actually.”

“Scar, Grian is CuteGuy.” For the first time, Scar saw the fear behind Cub’s eyes, the desperation in his voice; for the first time, Scar stopped completely short. When Cub was sure he was listening, he continued, “I found out when he met me in that parking lot. I didn’t recognize him immediately with the outfit and the covers over his wings and- I think he paints his flight feathers? But I figured it out pretty damn fast, and he’s- Grian has always had issues, Scar, like, major issues, but he’s- he’s not- he just doesn’t have good outlets, I don’t really think he actually wants to hurt people!”

Oh.

“I..” Scar dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his forehead, “I hit him. I did that.”

“You did do that! You almost shot him-!” Cub stopped, taking a breath, then laying his hands over his temples for a moment before letting them hit the table, “I don’t care. It was stupid, but I don’t care. I just want him to be okay. Is he safe? Where did he end up? I didn’t see anything on the news, but him not being CuteGuy doesn’t- he can have these really intense reactions to bad stuff happening, even little stuff sometimes, it’s- I promise you he’s trying, I know he’s trying.” There was so much pain there, so much, and Scar had to wonder if Cub knew the extent of what Grian had done, or if he even cared at all. Even Scar wasn’t sure, now that he really thought about it. He.. would have to check later.

“He’s safe. He’s at my, uh, a friend’s house. Found him at a bar, being.. I think intense is the right word. He said he couldn’t go home, and needed a place to stay.”

“Oh god. Was he drinking?”

“I don’t.. think so. Friend was pretty concerned, but Grian insisted he was sober. Took him home before that changed.”

“Oh, good. Good,” Cub sighed, head falling back into his hands, and Scar swore he felt Cub’s relief in his soul. “Could I.. get this friend’s number? I don’t know if I should try and see Grian yet, I really don’t want him to run again, but I just want to make sure everything is okay. I don’t- I have no idea what to do here, I really don’t, I’m just.. really grateful.” Cub paused, then sat up suddenly, “You won’t arrest him, will you? Please don’t. He’s already had to serve some time for repeated offenses, and he’s so much worse when he gets out, it won’t work, it won’t help him-“

“I’m not going to arrest him, Cub. And yeah, let me text you his number.” Scar grabbed HotGuy’s phone to do just that, fumbling a bit as he erased the name off the contact.

“Thank you,” Cub heaved a massive sigh, deflating, “It’s hard enough to get him working again as it is. Customer service isn’t an option- you think I’m bad, woof. It’s not an option.”

“I don’t think you’re bad!”

Cub snorted. “That’s sweet.”

“I don’t!”

“You were barely through the door before I said something rude, then had a complete autism panic attack in the back room. That was particularly bad.”

“Okay, but the thing you said about my legs was hilarious- oh is that what that was?”

Cub paused for a moment, then shook his head, teeth poking out behind his smile, and Scar felt himself fall back in love all over again, “Yeah man, I get it rough sometimes. Thought you knew, honestly.”

“People react in so many different ways to seeing me, getting helped by me, or thinking they’ve embarrassed themselves in front of me that I’ve literally seen it all. I’ve just stopped asking questions.”

“Hey, cheers to that, man.” Cub checked his phone when it buzzed, though had a small moment of confusion that Scar had already anticipated before he shared the contact. “What’s your friend’s name again?”

“Not my place to share, I’m afraid. He’s a tricky guy, really paranoid about the fae and names, so you’ll have to ask him what he wants you to call him. I’ll give him a heads up that you're contacting him, so it’ll be fine. If it’s easier, Grian calls him Micah. For ease of access, he might let you call him the same name, but he’s been known to be.. difficult. Very nice though, just a little odd about some things. You should see his house, it’s all decked out in iron trims and’s got these funky chains everywhere? His front and backyard is all pavement, it’s nuts. I mean, I guess you will see it eventually, won’t you? Maybe.” Scar found himself rambling, suddenly very afraid of being found out. Grian did a pretty shit job at hiding his identity- the voice thing in particular, why did he do that? And if they’ve been friends for years, why did Grian even go near Cub in the first place? REGARDLESS. Clearly Cub had a pretty good intuition, so Scar would greatly prefer if he and Not HotGuy also known as Scar also known as Micah never met.

“Oh. Cool.” Cub looked kind of amused for some reason, but Scar didn’t get the chance to try and puzzle the expression out before he spoke again, “Hey, that’s a different mask, right? Any reason?”

“Oh! Yeah! This is the one I wear when I break my nose, since it doesn’t really cover it like the other one does. Well, CuteGuy broke it actually, but you understand. It’s.. a relatively common occurrence for me.”

“Ah, you know, I thought your nose looked a little crooked, but it’s always been kind of crooked, so I wasn’t quite sure. But that makes sense to me. ‘S cute.”

Scar’s brain stopped working. “What?”

“Nothing. Just thinking.” Cub smiled, and Scar felt his face heating up, and Cub laughed, fuck, what a delightful sound, “You silly thing,” Cub sighed, and Scar had no idea what that meant, but he wanted to know, he wanted to know so bad, he leaned over the table, waiting for Cub to say more, to say more right now, but Cub’s eyes were closed, sitting back in his chair contentedly.

Cub did not say more, and neither could Scar when their waitress arrived at the table, the same lady from before, looking positively frightened for some reason.

“Are.. you two ready to order?”

#hermitcraft #hermitfic #gtws #goodtimeswithscar #cubfan135 #grian #cubfan #cubscar #hermitshipping #hotguy #cuteguy

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zawasdarkcirclez · 3 years

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How Bakusquad Asks You to Prom

Mina Ashido:

-Mina’s definitely got something really pretty planned

-She’s most likely a little dressed up with a cute little dress on

-This is all taking place in the common area

-Everybody besides you knew what was happening and were hiding in the corners of the room and against the wall

-Aizawa was even there claiming that he felt most comfortable if there was a teacher and adult present with all of these candles burning Mina, Denki, and Sero filled him in one day when he was trying to grade papers

-In reality though, he just wanted to be there to see how it would play out after hearing all the talk about it

-Y’all do be his kids after all

-You keep getting texts from Mina and everyone telling you Aizawa is calling everybody to the commons right now and that you’re late as hell

-You’re out of breath running to the room and realize you don’t see the lights on from where you stand

- Walking in however, you’re greeted with soft jazz music

-Mina standing in the middle of the room with a bouquet of flowers

-In front of her on the floor are candles spelling out “Prom?”

-Not gonna lie she’s a little nervous

-Fingers fiddling for sure

“HEY-uh Y/n.. PROM??“

-You said yes no doubt. Sorry I don’t make the rules

-You were literally stunned, she looked amazing, everything looked so cute, the effort was there. CONGRATULATIONS you won

-Everybody of course had to then hop out from the darkness of the room cheering and recording as you and Mina hug

-Queue Denki + Sero dapping each other up

-Midoriya tearing up

-Mineta full on crying because Mina is now taken

-Todoroki still standing by the wall 🧍‍♂️

-You and Mina definetly had some of the best prom fits

Katsuki Bakugo:

-You were already dating Katsuki, leading him to believe you were well aware that you were going to prom with him

-So when he overheard Momo ask you about plans for prom and you responded saying

-”Oh, prom? ...I’m not really sure I’m doing all that.”

-He was STOMP.ING over and Momo was tiptoeing away not wanting to get caught in another one of his outbursts

-”What the hell do you mean you’re not doing that?!”

-”You don’t want to go with me or what?!”

-”Did I do something? If I made you upset, you should have said something, Dumbass!!”

-”Actually, you know what, I don’t care! You’re going.”

-”With me!”

-You rolled your eyes jokingly

-”Well that sure is one way to ask.” you chuckled and patted his side walking away to go back to your desk

-You were not complaining by any means, but with the intensity of Katsuki’s ability to read behind your words, he knew he was picking up on something else

-Thinking back, he did notice the little way your eyes would glow as your friends were getting asked left and right

-Even when Bakugo mumbles beside you about “Why the hell’s he doing all this like she’s not already his girlfriend.”

-You’ve seen posters, candies, gifts etc.

-But all you truly wanted was for Bakugo to possibly let down a wall of his and utter the same words to you

-But you would never ever push him to do it, in fear of overstepping a boundary

-This in mind though, and with Bakugo being as invested and in love with you as he is, and not willing to admit, he plans something little so you can have a little moment to blab to your friends about too or whatever 🙄

-He’ll be damned if its in public though

-For sure expect to be woken up late at night, leaving you surprised considering yk his bedtime and all

-He’s shaking your shoulder and grumbling to you to “Wake your ass up, or I’ll leave.”

-You turn seeing Bakugo with a candle he over burnt a little bit with his quirk, your favorite snack, a teddy bear, and a little jewelry box

-“Will you uhh..” his eyes dart away from you and he hears you giggle

-”Shut up!! ... ”

-”Will you go to prom with me, Y/n?” he asks shoving the snacks and bear a little in your direction

-”Of course Katsu.”

-He smirked, opening the jewelry box

-”And you make sure to wear this little beauty around that neck of yours at this damn dance, okay?”

Denki Kaminari:

-I’m sorry but you completely spoiled Denki’s surprise

-Well it was a team effort

-He had already accidentally said too much one day without realizing so you knew he most definitely had “Something exciting to ask you”

-But bbbbruh

-The panic everyone screamed in when you randomly walked into Denki’s room while him and the rest of the Bakusquad decorated

-He jumped off the little ladder he was standing on in the corner and turned you around by your shoulders ushering you out

-”ahHa ha...”

-It’s silent for a couple second while you both plan what to say now

Simultaneously:

-“Denki I am SOOO sorry“

and

-”A little earlier than planned”

-Everyone has an ear pressed against the door at this point to listen

-”Well..surprise! I’ll tell you what though,”

-His hands reached for yours

-”I’m a liiittle busy right now.. You know what for, but let’s pretend you don’t.”

-He turns speed walking and dragging you with him

-”So you go relax for a little bit, do some studying or something. Put on one of your cute little outfits, and I’ll be by later to come get you because you’ve got a hot date in my room say around..8:30?”

-You nod, catching your breath and realized he has delivered you all the way back to your own dorm

-Before you could turn and ask any other questions, that boy is booking it around the corner to get back to his room

-Upon walking in he is greeted with bunches of “what happened?”s from his friends and a slap to the back of his head from Bakugo

-Yes they somehow got Bakugo to help

-”Guys! Guys! We’re good, why did nobody keep decorating? Come on people we have until 8:25 and then you all have got to go!”

-Fast forward to 8:30, he’s opening the door for you and guiding you inside with a hand on your back

-He’s cheesing like a fool I promise you

-Sure you already saw part of it but not nearly the end result

-”So, will you go to prom with me?”

-”Uhm, YES!”

-Y’all can hear Sero and Kiri hooting and cheering from Bakugo’s room across the hall followed by a

-”Shut up or get out you idiots!!”

-You and Denki definitely won the top spots in the Prom Court

Eijiro Kirishima:

-Kiri definitely has a little cliche possibly cringe idea he saw online

-But it’s still cute as hell because I mean hello it’s Kirishima

-All his friends were struggling planning things while he was sitting there CHILLEN

-Denki turned like “Uhhh..Bro, you all set or something? You’re looking mighty not-busy over here.”

-”Yeah man. This was eeasyy. I found exactly what I wanted to do. They’ll love it.”

-By this point everyone had been listening, and then he was bombarded with several voices asking for ideas and inspiration from him

-All voices went silent though when he whipped out his phone to show them

-”Dude.”

-”You’re joking.”

-”Tch. Dumbass..”

-He’s not even a little worried about their reactions

-If there’s one thing he knows it’s YOU

-And YOU love anything Kirishima does

-Let’s not lie we’re all whipped

-And y’all are just some chill ass individuals and cornballs with the same humor

-He spends the entire evening that day drawing out his sign and gathering things he needs and whatnot

-When you walk into class greeted with some yummy food and cheesy saying on your desk, you smirked knowing it was the one and only

-”Surprisee!” he would sing wrapping an arm around your waist and kissing your cheek

-”Pretty manly, huh?”

-When the rest of the class sees how it actually turned out in comparison to the picture he showed, they kinda regretted trying to get on him

-Especially since you were right in front of them enjoying it

-Shit was kinda sweet

-Ya know, seeing y’all be all perfect for each other and all

-”Ah, you’re so cute. It’s great!” your face was lighting up as you plopped down in your seat

-The rest of class everyone was still stressing between lessons about their own prom situations

-And cutting their eyes at you and Kiri

-The two of you are now sitting side by side, his arm around you shoulders and both of your mouths full of sushi

-Prom is literally a dream with this man

-I feel like he would dress with the most casually classy look

-Velcro shoes acquired 😎

-Y’all are so in love you don’t even realize how visible it is

-The whole night is you two soo lost in each other uhghh

Hanta Sero:

-Sero is cool as fuck

-I just had to say that first sorreh

-He’d definitely do something real low-key and cute

-It’s not anything public or in front of everybody and their mother

-The two of you hang out by yourselves and have little ~dates~ and what not kind of often

-So him knocking at your dorm door telling you to get ready to go in 30 minutes was nothing suspicious

-After a light walk from campus y’all reached a point where he told you to close your eyes and let him guide you

-Considers covering your eyes with his tape but doesn't want to end up literally yanking off your eyebrows when he takes it off

-You settle for one hand over your eyes, and one hand in his

-Sero almost knocks you into stuff on purpose and you know it

-But eventually he’s telling you to open your eyes and

- 🥲

-A literal gasp

-”Ohh my gosh! Sero!? What is this!?”

-You’re literally bouncin up and down

-A whole little picnic has been set up in the middle of some random park by the school just for the two of you

-He’s just smiling and rubbing at the back of his neck

-He’s cool, but he can’t lie, especially when it comes to you, he’s a liiittle bit of a uhh wreck?

-Just hides it like an expert

-”Have a seat”

-He’ll take your hand as you sit to help you wibudfverkfcj;e

-Y’all are snacking and chatting, snacking and chatting

-Everything is literally perfect with him, genuinely so nice to be around

-Around when the sun is almost getting ready to set and the two of you are thinking about heading back to the dorms he stops you for a second

-”Uhm, Y/n. I’m just gonna cut straight to it.”

-”You wanna go to prom with me?”

-He’s looking straight into your soul I swear

-You tell him you’d love too and boooy oh boy the weight off this man’s shoulders

-Everyone wonders what went down when the two of you walk back into the building hand in hand and giggling and smiling with each other

-Of course the two of you nonchalantly fill them in when they ask, but the best details stayed between the two of you

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dontcallmecarrie · 3 years

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continuation of this, because the idea lives rent-free in my head [heads up for minor profanity]:

Under other circumstances, planning a prison break wouldn’t have taken more than a week, tops.

Stranded in this weird hellscape, however...

Ivan Vanko sighed, and scrubbed a hand down his face. It was either that, or survey the main room of the bunker Victor von Doom had somehow managed to secure because he was a goddamn overachiever that way. Ivan’d probably be more annoyed if it weren’t working in their favor at this moment— wait a minute.

“How’re you holding up?” Ivan asked warily as he looked at him from a safe distance across the war room, because now that he thought about it, Victor had been acting...very weird, lately.

Which was a problem, because Ivan had more than enough on his plate just trying to figure out how to get them all back home when he wasn’t stuck watching Loki and his feral counterpart circle each other like cats half a second from brawling, or the headache he got when the two Winter Soldiers came back from recon or supply-gathering or whatever the hell else they got up to ever since they’d joined up with the others and found out where Justin’d landed.

Ivan didn’t think he was wrong to be paranoid about this type of radio silence, not when it was coming from the poster boy for a type-A personality.

“I? Am fine.” Victor said, and Ivan might have even believed him if he didn’t have that maniac glint in his eyes that precluded the type of disaster only their esteemed leader could prevent, and sure enough— “Get the others, I have a plan ready.”

Once more, Loki was inordinately proud of the friends allies he had.

In an entirely different universe, limited resources and external factors working against them, and they still managed to pull stunts like this off.

“What kind of...” His counterpart muttered from his spot in the corner, even as Victor walked them all through his plan to break the last of their party out of one of the most secured locations in one of the most powerful countries on the planet. Ivan nodded along as he took notes, presumably for whatever hyper-specialized gear they’d need, while the Winter Soldier looked over their plans with a pensive frown before throwing in the odd comment here and there.

Victor was in fine form today, confidently answering their questions as he ran through contingency plans and every last scrap of intel they’d managed to access.

“This is why.” Loki said quietly, and his counterpart seemed lost and oddly bereft as the rest of Cabal plotted. “You wanted to know why I allied myself with Midgardians? Here you have it.”

“You know, you don’t have to do this.” The Winter Soldier told his counterpart. “Justin’s my friend, you have your own problems to deal with, Soldat.”

A single blink was his answer, and right, he’d been stubborn from the start, hadn’t he. It was...probably why HYDRA’s conditioning never took, which was good, but also frustrating as all get out because Soldat— and just getting him to pick a name had been a trial in and of itself— was dead-set on coming along.

“I mean it. We’re going home as soon as Ivan can figure out how to use the Tesseract to reverse whatever the hell he did to get us here, you’re going to be the one to deal with the consequences and you’re going to have enough on your plate as is.”

How someone could look so mulish without moving a muscle, Winter didn’t know, but Soldat sure managed to pull it off nevertheless.

“Oh, let him.” Victor interrupted their standoff. “It’s his choice to make, and we need all the help we can get, Winter.”

“We can pull it off.” He countered, and Victor inclined his head.

“Of course we can, I’m the one who planned it. But you can’t deny that four people trying to break someone out of supermax is a fairly tall order.”

“Ah, fuck, this is going to be a disaster.” The Winter Soldier pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan as he abruptly realized they’d be throwing two Lokis at the problem and would there even be a supermax standing, afterwards?

“Excuse you, my plans never fail—”

“You sure you want in on this train wreck?” He asked Soldat abruptly, “Because odds are, it’s going to be like this the entire time.”

A single nod, and Winter leaned back with a sigh. “Fuck, I was afraid of that. Fine, okay...but when it goes to hell, I told you so.”

For the record, everything didn’t go to hell within the first five minutes.

...it took six.

“Objective secured,” the Winter Soldier barked over the specially-made comms Ivan had handed out, as his left hand easily snapped the cuffs limiting Justin’s movements and immediately started ushering him to the extraction point while Loki set to work shorting out the camera system. Justin seemed to be frozen in place, but that was secondary; clearly he was in shock, but Winter couldn’t afford to put him at ease, not when they were operating on such a limited time frame and so he didn’t think twice about lifting his friend in a fireman’s carry.

Elsewhere, Other Loki’s distraction continued to draw the guards’ focus.

“Okay, moving onto phase three. Victor, you ready?” Ivan’s voice came through loud and clear even as the alarms continued to blare around them.

“On i—” Victor’s voice cut off as what could only be an EMP went off, casting the entire facility in darkness for a few seconds.

Ivan’s creations were good, but he had limited resources to work with and so for the two minutes it took for their comms to get back online, they were on their own.

Fortunately, everyone in Cabal had taken that into account.

“Come on,” Loki ushered them along and Winter didn’t even blink at the familiar green sparks that lit the way. In the distance, the guards’ surprised yelps told them Other Loki had decided to step up his own game long before they met up with him in the hallway.

“Took you long enough. Is this him?” Other Loki’s smile had a strange sort of curiosity, and going by the way Loki had tensed, he’d noticed it too.

“We can talk once we’re done.” Loki demurred, and set to work getting the array that’d teleport them out of here.

As he did, Winter gently set Justin down. “Sorry about that, we’re on a bit of a time crunch.”

“I—” Justin sounded oddly nervous, looking between him and the two Lokis, and Winter sympathized.

“Yeah, I’m impressed the building’s still standing, too.”

If possible, Justin seemed to curl in on himself even more, and Winter reached towards him in concern. Hey, you okay? I’m sorry we’re late, things happened, but—”

“We’re ready,” Victor interrupted as he and Soldat rounded the corner and rushed towards them, and Winter froze as he saw who else they had in tow and whipped around to check, but—

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.” Loki said as he stopped short, seeing the problem.

Justin Hammer frowned at them in mild concern, as the Justin Hammer at his side started to hyperventilate.

Whoops.

“Shit, I am so sorry—” Winter started, before he whipped around just in time to catch the shield hurled in their direction and fuck, that meant the Avengers were here, coming in hot and they had two noncombatants in direct range—

A single look told him the others were on the same page, and without saying a word, Loki and Victor set to activating the array while Winter hurled Captain America’s shield down the hall as he took up a defensive position. Soldat mirrored his position, and Other Loki seemed more curious than anything else but still threw out a shield strong enough to deflect the explosive arrow for the split-second it took for the array to kick in and get them the hell out of dodge before anyone got a good look at them.

Then, and only then, did Winter have the time to take a step back and turn around and realize—

“Ah, fuck, we accidentally kidnapped someone, didn’t we.”

#No Hero [Downward Descending]#schrodinger's canon #My writing

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ddarker-dreams · 4 years

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Online Love. Yan Shigaraki x Reader [Part 5]

Shigaraki has never had a full grasp on understanding others.

It’s never presented itself as an issue before, due to his unique lifestyle that doesn’t require him to rely upon others to the same extent most do. He doesn’t need to bend himself to the will of others. If anything, people need to mold themselves to his liking.

There’s no place for coquettish remarks and hidden agendas for the people around Shigaraki. He wouldn’t care for it, and they’d be cut off without a second thought.

So where do you fit into that?

He doesn’t know himself. The black and white relationships that stay in neat, understandable boxes for him are all but wrecked by your presence. Where his underlings bite their tongue and present themselves to his liking, you feel no obligation to do the same.

You live as you please, speaking to him as you please. The rules he’s used to don’t apply to you, you don’t even know they exist in the first place. If anyone acted as you did towards Shigaraki, they’d undoubtedly be killed for it.

There’s a fondness that’s reserved solely for you.

Even so, he can’t help but feel aggravated at how you’ve been treating him lately. The past three days have been a miserable stretch, his mood taking a turn for the worst. Not due to anything you’ve said to him, no, but because of the opposite.

You haven’t messaged him in seventy-two hours.

This has never happened before, in the entire time he has known you. In the past three days you’ve not logged onto any of your games, responded to his messages, or uploaded on social media. He’s aware of the fact that you’re physically fine -- a bit of stalking ensured that nothing had happened to you.

A part of him almost wishes that was the case, so he could make sense of it. It would be undoubtedly easier to digest the situation, and he could get you out of the situation with ease.

But the aspect of the unknown is what troubles him the most. His mind wonders pathetically, grasping at any straws to make sense of why you’ve been living your life normally; just without him.

Staring at his monitor in the dim light of his room, Shigaraki grimaces at the blinking cursor in front of him. Coarse fingers hover over the keyboard, wanting so desperately to seek you out; but unsure of how to go about it. He wants to demand an explanation.

Were you really able to live your life peacefully without him? Did Shigaraki delude himself of the symbiotic relationship he once believed you two shared?

His teeth ache from the hours spent grinding together, neck raw from constant scratching. Sleep has all but evaded him, as he spent hours painfully waiting for you to come back to him. For things to go back into the routine he was used to.

Your absence serves as a reminder of how much he needs you.

Narrowing his bloodshot eyes, he abruptly stands from his trash covered desk and stalks over towards the door. How dare you ignore him, how dare you treat him like this! Did he mean nothing to you all along? Have you just been waiting for the chance to cut him off, having been secretly disgusted by him all along?

Fury masks over any secret feelings of hurt, Shigaraki intent on demanding Kurogiri to warp him over to you. He’d get an explanation one way or another. Even if he had to pry it from you. Staying idle any longer would surely be the death of him.

Before he opens the door, he hears the custom alert. The one that he had set for you, so he could always know when you were messaging him.

Shigaraki’s mind goes blank as he goes back over to his computer. He wonders if it was imagined, only to be disproved by a message from you on his screen.

From: [First] 2:06 AM

hello tomo-kun

That... that’s it? Mouth slightly agape from confusion, Shigaraki’s mind races with countless responses. Ranging from cruel words directed at you for ignoring him for so long, to inquiring about what even caused it in the first place. But none of them are typed out as he delivers an equally mundane response.

To: [First] 2:06 AM

Hey

Anyone else would’ve been facing the wrath of hell right now, but Shigaraki manages to contain himself. Knowing that you haven’t forgotten about him or discarded him was enough to momentarily distract him from his previous rage. Biting his finger nails that were already short from countless hours of similar activity, he awaits your response.

From: [First] 2:10 AM

i’m sorry that i haven’t been around...

From: [First] 2:11 AM

i’ve been having kinda a bad time lately with some stuff. but if it’s okay with you can we play some comp? i kinda just wanna take my mind off it. if you’re not busy that is

It isn’t concern that he feels, but an undying curiosity. If something major had happened to you, like a death of a loved one, he would’ve known about it by now. What could’ve happened that upset you this much that he wasn’t alerted about?

Shigaraki silently ponders to himself. Maybe he needs better scouts.

To: [First] 2:12 AM

Whatever you want, idm

An immediate response.

From: [First] 2:12 AM

thank u, i appreciate it

From: [First] 2:13 AM

aaa i feel so dumb. im sorry im sure i worried you. i just havent been in the mood to talk to anyone. its nothing like crazy or anything im fine, just some life stuff

Shigaraki’s never been the best at comforting people, as it’s a task that he’s never been given. He can barely take care of himself, much less anyone else. But in situations like this, he feels you’re supposed to offer something. Only for you would he stretch himself in this way.

To: [First] 2:15 AM

What happened

It might seem like a lackluster response, but to anyone who knows Shigaraki it would come as a surprise. People’s personal affairs have never interested him in the slightest, but you’re a unique case.

From: [First] 2:16 AM

wellllll its kinda stupid but ig it doesnt hurt to tell you lmao

From: [First] 2:17 AM

ive... ive had a crush on this guy for a long time. we’ve known one another for a few years, stuff like that. anyways i worked up the courage to ask him out and he got upset at me. saying stuff like im ruining our friendship. it was just really bad, and ever since then ive been on auto pilot

The word crush hits him like a ton of bricks. He’s incapable of focusing on anything else in that moment, as time all but comes to a stop. His breathing uneven, and hands shaky; he sits back from the light of his screen. Disgust isn’t the right word for it, it doesn’t begin to describe the barrage of emotions he’s experiencing.

You liked someone. You liked someone that isn’t him.

Even if he actually wanted to, he couldn’t fake a decent response to your message. All along he’s been under the impression that you may return his feelings. That all the little gestures meant you treasure him on the same level he does you, and that you would one day be his.

Hours spent daydreaming of you sweetly confessing to him come to mind, as his vision goes red.

It doesn’t matter how. He’s going to find out who this cesspool of human waste is, he’s going to savor tearing each limb from their body and take pleasure in his screams of agony. Shigaraki will take care of this individual personally, wanting them to suffer in the same way he has.

There isn’t any way you could like someone else. This all has to be a joke, a cruel prank with an eventual punchline. There’s no other way to make sense of it. No one else could be even remotely deserving of your affections other than him, and no one will ever have them if he could do anything about it.

He will figure out what to do with you and your betrayal later. For now, only this apple of your eye has his attention. Countless cruel ideas flood his thoughts like a tidal wave, a malicious grin breaking out onto his face.

Shigaraki will make them pay.

#shigaraki tomura #tomura shiragaki #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki tomura imagine #tomura x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagine #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #yandere bnha #my hero academia #my hero academia imagine #yandere my hero academia #my stuff

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petri808 · 3 years

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1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30-Epilogue

Lucy POV. TW: Panic Attack, Mental trauma/coping, PTSD

The university and Lucy’s professors had been really wonderful about everything, even offering to convert her classes to an online option so she could continue. She wasn’t happy about the idea of taking a sabbatical from college, but there was no way she could manage. Not only was it difficult for her to leave the apartment because seeing anyone that remotely resembled Touka sent her into a panic attack, focusing on anything at all was a struggle. Night after night it haunted her dreams and spilled into her waking moments. She’d run scenarios through her mind, all the what if’s, should haves, could haves, often leading to horrifying outcomes. They’d survived, yes, but at what cost?

She didn’t feel the same anymore as if a part of her did die in that apartment or fled to a hidden part of her brain too scared to come back out. The once happy, positive person had become a nervous wreck unable to control her emotions or outbursts. Lucy’s bedroom became her safe zone from everyone, even those closest to her, ashamed and insecure of their judgement. In her heart she knew friends like Levy or Natsu wouldn’t judge... but tell that to her broken mind, because her brain was the one in control at the moment, and insisted they’d look down on her.

All the irrational thoughts. It was her fault for not being careful, her fault she was kidnapped. Lucy knew Touka was growing dangerous, yet walking alone, at night... utterly stupid. She should have been overzealous at protecting herself, but oh no, stupid girl didn’t want to believe anything would actually happen. Until it did. And now she was even more pathetic and weak for not getting a hold of her emotions, for not controlling it instead of it controlling her. The danger had passed. They were alive. Touka was in jail. It should be over, but it wasn’t. Lucy couldn’t move past that night, stuck in an endless loop of fear. So many nights she’d wake up in a panic covered in sweat, the fading images of red... blood... like dripping down a tv screen in a horror movie. It was Natsu’s blood she saw and his screams when the knife had sliced him open.

The first week after the event had been difficult, sitting through an interview with Gajeel, and reliving all the mental wounds. It took several hours to get through it all despite the man doing his best to go easy on her. Each time painful parts came up, Lucy felt the anxieties rise, the mental blurring, the shaking, literally a physical shaking of her body in an effort to dispel the rise of adrenaline coursing through her veins. Interviews are best done without any other potential witnesses in the room to avoid cross contamination, but after Lucy’s first two attempts to talk to investigators failed, Gajeel was forced to allow Natsu in with explicit instructions to sit quietly and say nothing while the woman talked. Of course, Natsu’d been fine with that, he’d do anything to help, even if it was just holding Lucy’s hand. But it only added to her embarrassment. Surely Natsu will eventually tire of having an unstable girlfriend.

Then there was the therapist Levy helped Lucy to find which she hoped would help her to quickly get over the events and move on. So, when the woman explained that such traumas take patience and time to process, Lucy was devastated. It almost felt like nothing was going her way anymore, falling dominoes with no end in sight. She felt so ashamed for having to see the woman in the first place, and now she’s told it would be a long journey towards recovery. Just great! What’s next?!

“Lu?” Levy knocked before opening the bedroom door. “Are you gonna eat your dinner in here again? It’s ready.”

With the curtains drawn, Lucy’s room was dark and the only light available was a small desk lamp next to the bed set to a low setting. She peeked out from under her blanket. “I-I’ll come out in a minute, thanks Lev.”

As soon as her friend closed the door, Lucy exhaled in relief. She knew Levy was worried about the amount of time she stayed holed up in the room, so to dispel some of those concerns, Lucy would join her roommate for meals. She quickly applied a gauze wrap, threw on her long sleeve hoodie, and left the room. It made her feel safer to be shrouded and covered up, so gone were her skirts and tank tops, and hello to long sleeves and pants. If she could cover her face from the world, it would make her happy. Even her overall hygiene suffered. Lucy would forget to bathe or wash her hair for days on end, and it took Levy or Natsu with gentle prodding to get her to do it. She would wear the same clothes for a week if it wasn’t for Levy who made sure she changed at least every couple of days. Hell, she’d starve if her roommate wasn’t feeding her. This was a frustrating cycle, not having the mental energy to take care of herself, then feeling bad because they had to help her with things, which made her feel even worse.

It tore at Lucy’s heart to watch Natsu going through this process with her. She knew he was going through his own struggles, not just mental, but physically healing from his wounds. And here she was, the basket case of instability. Bless him, he never gave up no matter how distant she grew, but after that night, Lucy really didn’t want to talk about anything out loud, not that night, and certainly not the true extent of her pain from it. Both Levy and Natsu knew only what she couldn’t hide from them. Like the panic attacks, and since she really didn’t want them to see her go through one or what she’d resorted to, to calm herself, so the safest solution was stay quiet and not trigger them in their presence.

To show his dedication, Natsu even went with her to her therapy sessions and waited outside the office. Lucy knew it was costing him money to do this, because she couldn’t ride a train which meant cab rides every single trip. It bothered her a lot, but she did her best to hide it, and besides there was one small measure of security in having him at her side when she needed to venture out into the public.

“So, the nightmares are still a problem?” the therapist questioned Lucy. “Are you sure you don’t want to try a medication? It would help to ease them until we can get things under control.”

Lucy gripped to the hem of her sweater. “I just don’t wanna become addicted to that stuff...”

“That’s understandable. But not all are addictive, and I’ll be here to make sure it doesn’t get out of hand.”

“I... I don’t think I’m ready.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” the woman smiled. “Remember I’m just here to help you, at your pace. I won’t force you take anything you don’t want to.”

“Thank you.”

“What about the breathing and relaxation techniques? When you feel the anxiety rising, are you trying out the steps?”

“I try... I don’t think I’m very successful at it.”

“Does it work sometimes?”

Lucy pauses for a few seconds in thought before nodding yes.

“See, that is progress!” The woman encouraged excitedly. “Two weeks ago, it didn’t help at all, and now it works sometimes. It’s a big step forward Lucy.”

“Doesn’t feel like it is...” Lucy mumbled.

“I know it’s hard to see it for yourself, and that’s okay. These things take time and practice. Do you remember what I said about these things?”

“Not really.” Which was true. During the first week when the therapist explained the processes, Lucy had stopped listening as soon as the woman said it would take time.

“Let me ask you a question. You like to write stories, right?”

“Yeah.”

“When you first started, were you able to just write perfect stories.”

“Pfft, no.”

“Then how did you get better at it?”

Lucy rolled her eyes, knowing where this was going. “Practice.”

“Yes! The PTSD requires learning new coping skills as well as unlearning irrational ones. To do both takes practice. The more we work at it, the easier it will get, I promise. One day you’ll be able to look back at this experience and feel stronger for it.”

She really wanted to believe the woman, but it was so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Tears well up in Lucy’s eyes, seconds before they start to flow down her cheeks. “Why is this so hard?! I just wanna get back to normal!” She could feel her anxieties rising. “I... I-I don’t wanna talk about it anymore! I just wanna forget it ever happened!”

The woman reached over and took Lucy’s hand, applying a strategic amount of pressure while rubbing her thumb over the webbing in a counter stimulus. She softened in tone. “I wish I could say that would work, but in order to get past it, you need to confront it. Together we’re gonna turn the boogieman into Casper the friendly ghost.”

It was such a weird way of putting things, it caused Lucy’s mind to snap out of the anxiety and snort a sniffling laugh in response. “Casper the friendly ghost?!”

“It was the first thing to pop into my mind,” the therapist laughed too. “The point is, we’re going to work together and slowly bring you to a place where this no longer scares you.”

“O-Okay...”

The rest of the session was tough, and Lucy had come close to a panic attack several times, but as a trained therapist, the woman stepped in at the right times to bring her levels down again using breaks and breathing routines. Sure, with a professional in front of you, it wasn’t as bad, but doing this on her own, the attacks were still winning. At the end of the session, the woman suggested a new technique to try out based on Lucy’s love of writing.

“You’ve heard of art therapy, so just think of this as a different form of creative therapy. Writing a diary is helpful to get out your feelings out in a healthy way. But let’s take it one step forward to use your skills in fiction writing. I want you to try before the next session, writing a story where you interject your emotions, feelings, whatever you want into the characters and story. Kind of like your character becomes you, but now you get to control what happens to them after the trauma they endure.”

“Wait, so you want me to write about a character that goes through what I went through?! Like torture my own character?!”

“Yes, to put it bluntly. Take your pain and unleash it onto the fictional character. It’s a much healthier way of releasing your anger or frustration in something that can’t really be hurt. Do whatever you want to them. But remember you also get to give them the ending you want to. It’s about utilizing a tool you’re already comfortable with and taking back some control. It’ll be normal if you cry, scream, and get upset through the process, but that’s okay, because instead of holding it all in, you’re getting your feelings out.”

Lucy slumped back in her seat. It sounded strange, yet at the same time made a bit of sense to her. Angst type stories were not really her forte, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t do it, especially since pain is all she was channeling at the moment. She sighed. “I’ll try.”

“And that’s totally okay. All I ask is that you give it a try.”

#nalu #nalu fan fic #nalu au #nalu fan fiction #Natsu dragneel #Lucy heartfilia #Natsu x lucy #nalu fanfiction #strangers on a train #ch 24 #angst #TW: panic attack #TW: PTSD

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connorandersons-blog · 3 years

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Computer Virus

Connor gets a virus from a murder victim, but the only way to 'cure' himself is... you guessed it! Have sex! This has definitely been done before it was still really fun to write! I also blame the convin discord server for this. It's just pure smut with feelings thrown in at the end.

The reference to rape is from the victims of the crimes, Gavin and Connor very much want this and consent. There is dubcon only cause its the whole fuck or die and I wanted to be safe!

Word count: 3,037 Rating: E

Hope you enjoy!

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He shifted in his sheet for what felt like the hundredth time since getting back from the case, trying to ignore the shivers and jerks that wrecked his body. He grabbed the edge of his desk, his knuckles turning white as his… problem got worse again. "Ha-Hank, I um, need help." It was getting too much, and he needed it to just stop.

Hank hummed looking over with a raised eyebrow. "What's up, son?"

"So, I uh, may have downloaded a virus." One that his systems didn't exactly know how to fight. "Normally I can fix it myself, but it isn't acting like a normal virus." It wasn't creating anything new but just enhancing things that were already there.

Hence why he kept staring at Gavin and having to stop certain programs, even when they kept coming back online without his permission.

He pouted when Hank burst out laughing, drawing nearly everyone's attention, even Gavin looked over rolling his eyes. Fuck, Gavin's eyes on him (or at least in his general direction) wasn't helping at all. Gavin caught his staring and stared right back with blinking. It reminded him of cats finding for dominance, and now he's thinking about that, fuck.

He had to look away, trying to focus on Hank and not the rising heat in his face and his whole body for that matter. "Hank! This is serious! I got it when I connected to the victim." A dead one, so he thought it would be safe. Apparently, this virus didn't need power to stay alive, fucking wonderful.

That sobered Hank up a bit, realizing exactly *what* virus Connor was infected with. "I am not helping in that way. Sorry, Con, I appreciate it, but no. Not happening."

That only caused his blush to get deeper, shaking his head so quickly he's worried it would fall off. "What? No! I don't, oh my god, Hank, what the fuck? I meant I literally need help: I'm overheating!"

"Oh. Uh, I can get you a drink? But you know what you have to do to kick this if you don't wanna burn up." Hank moved to stand, and Connor let him. They had both seen the burned bodies when the androids hadn't been able to work it out of the systems.

And that was the problem. Connor would have to have sex with someone, the even worse problem was it didn't have to be consensual. With the cases they'd seen one too many sexual assaults due to it, which was hard to figure out how to charge them. On one hand it was self-defense, if they didn't they would die, but it was still rape. They'd let the lawyers figure that out, their main mission was to watch whoever created the virus.

"I know, I know. I'm going to go to the bathroom, splash some water on my face so I can think clearly for a second." Standing was awkward but he shut down that program so he could at least make it there without his problem being too obvious.

The bathroom was blessedly empty, he went to the sink. He yanked off his tie, tossed that and his jacket to the counter, and unbuttoned his shirt, the cool air making him shiver in relief. "Fuck." He grumbled, leaning against the counter. He cupped his hands under the cool water and splashed it onto his face, feeling the wet trail down to his chest.

He didn't have time to pull his shirt on again before the door swung open and none other than Gavin Reed stoked in, eyes catching Connor's before sliding down to openly stare at his chest.

"Jesus, what the fuck Tincan?" Gavin said, crossing his arms.

Connor ran a hand through his hair, trying desperately to not jump Gavin here and now. "I'm having some technical difficulties, I apologize for my appearance."

"Right… you know if I found a human-like this I'd say they were horny. Can droids even get horny?" Gavin leaned on the counter, apparently forgetting why he came in.

"We can, the case I currently have deals with a virus that does just that but to the extreme. If the android does not release the tension they will overheat and die." He should have told him to just fuck off, use the bathroom and leave, but he wanted Gavin to know.

"Right."

"I've been infected with this virus."

He watched as Gavin's face morphed into one of shock, then worry, then… interest? "Well damn. Can't you just rub one off? Not the first time someone's done that in these bathrooms." Gavin let his arms relax, eyes trailing up and down Connor's body. He lingered on his chest and crotch where there was definitely a tent to his pants.

"It seems it must be done with someone else. I'm not sure why. I was going to contact one of my friends, perhaps Markus, to help if I couldn't get this under control." He knew Markus would understand, he'd been kept up to date on the case and had worried about the possibility of Connor getting infected. He had assured Markus it wouldn't happen, his firewalls were too strong and if it did get in he could work it out without a problem.

"Don't you have like… android antibodies?"

"Not exactly. This virus is different than most. I have to go and find the strings of code myself but they keep multiplying faster than I can delete it. My systems aren't recognizing it as a virus but part of my normal coding." Which just made it so much harder. And it took them a while to find in the androids since scans had said nothing was wrong.

Gavin's face scrunched up adorably, trying to process the information. "Fucking hell. Well, how much time do you got left 'til you literally die from being too horny?"

"Approximately thirty minutes unless I have sex, then the timer stops as long as I eventually climax." Might as well be as honest as possible if he really was going to die. It didn't feel real like it was just some silly prank, but he'd seen the damage. He knew how much agony the androids went through as they caught on fire and burned alive.

"What the fuck?! You're going to die in thirty minutes but you're standing around talking to me? Go get some dick or whatever!" Gavin pushed away from the counter, shaking his head. Connor couldn't help but try to get closer, leaning forward just a bit. "... Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to control myself, I swear." He tried to say it normally but it came out as a whine. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to take in slow breaths. The closer he got to the timer running out the harder it was to think clearly or even stop himself from grabbing Gavin and fucking him on the counter.

He jolted, biting his lip to stop the moan that threatened to spill out when rough, calloused, warm hands ran up his chest. "Oh god," he whined, tilting his head to expose his neck.

There was a tentative hot lick to it, a moan slipping out of him. "Can't let you die, I guess. Do you need to fuck or be fucked?" Gavin asks, fingers massaging Connor's chest. He shivered when those hands started playing with his nipples, getting them since and hard.

He kept his hands to himself even as they twitched to hold and pull Gavin even closer. Each touch from Gavin was like an ice cube to his skin, burning cold, yet it felt so good. "I don't know, just need you."

Gavin hummed, pulling Connor down enough so he could suck a nice big hickey onto his neck. "I can do that."

No. Fuck, no this wasn't right. He weakly tried to push him away and off but his hands just holding him by his shoulders. "Don't do this, don't want to hurt you or… not without you wanting it too." He couldn't rape someone, he couldn't do that to Gavin or anyone else.

Gavin paused, pulling away so they could see each other's faces. "I've wanted to get my hands on you from the moment you walked in. It was so unfair, it was like they stole you from my dreams and made you real. Drove me fucking insane."

"Please touch me," he whimpered, leaning closer. It hurt so much, his body tugging him closer to Gavin to get anything he could from him.

"Shit! Right, sorry Tincan." Gavin grumbled, crashing their lips together, teeth clinking awkwardly until they got into a fast rhythm. Gavin leans against the sink until Connor needs more and picks him up to sit him on it, slotting himself between his open legs.

Connor ground his hips forward, hissing at the electricity that shot through him, making his arms tighten around Gavin.

Gavin broke the kiss, gasping for air but taking the time to shrug his own jacket off and Connor grabs his shirt and yanks it over his head. He needed his hands on Gavin and he needed it now. His chest has some hair, and Connor couldn't help but squish and play with those soft but firm pects.

"I want you to fuck me." He sighed out when Gavin scratched down his back. "I need you to, please Gavin."

Gavin sucked at the skin on his collarbone before pulling off with a soft, wet pop. It hit him that they were in the bathroom… at work. Anyone could walk in and see them and yet he didn't want to stop. It only made him want to keep going, the idea of being caught sending a thrill through him. He could easily say he had to, he had the virus after all.

"Yeah, yeah ok. I, oh fuck, I don't have lube or a condom on me." Gavin leaned forward, resting his head on Connor's shoulder, biting down to keep his own moans quiet. The bathroom may have thick walls but if someone walked past there was the possibility they'd hear.

"Don't need a condom with me and uh… I don't need lube either. I kinda self-produce it." Thank God for that. He could get away with doing it without on himself, it wasn't like humans could hurt him in this way.

Gavin's mouth dropped open as he leaned back, eyes wide as saucers. "Well fuck me then."

"I thought you'd be doing the fucking," Connor teased, reaching a hand down to cup Gavin through his pants. He bucked his hips into the hand, letting out his own small whimper.

"Fuck off! Shit, ok uh, how do you wanna do this?" Gavin asked, pushing off the counter, but his hands quickly went back to touch and pull Connor close.

Connor glanced around before eyeing the stalls. He hooked a finger around Gavin's belt loops and pulled him into one, sitting him down. "This ok?" He pulled his own belt off, tossing it to the ground.

Gavin nodded so quickly his head was sure to fall off, but he pushed his own pants and boxers down, eyeing Connor as he did.

The cold hit him up but he really couldn't care less. He hadn't even closed or locked the stall door before he reached behind himself and pushed a finger in. He bit his lip, working himself open quickly, eyes squeezed shut. He could hear the slick sound of Gavin fucking his own hand roughly at the sight of Connor. And if that didn't do things to him.

He pressed a second finger in, then a third after a glance down at Gavin's length. It wasn't too long to be a problem, but it was plenty thick, flushed from the blood rushing through it. His lube had already kicked in, it had done that the minute he was infected but now he had an actual use for it.

"Have you done this?" It was probably a stupid question to ask, but he wanted to make sure Gavin at least had an idea of what to do, even if Connor would do most of the work.

"Trust me, I've had plenty of dick and given plenty. You aren't my first pretty boy, not by a long shot." Gavin smirked up at him with all the confidence in the world.

Connor keened at the petname, nodding quickly. "Thank god, so have I if you're wondering." He had been very curious after deviating and had some friends that had no problem helping him experiment.

Apparently, he was taking too long because his body started to tremble and the timer started up again. He pushed it out of his HUD with a small huff. "Shit, ok, you ready?" He positioned himself over Gavin, glancing down to make sure they were lined up.

Gavin's hands rested on Connor's waist, thumbs rubbing soothingly into his perfect skin. "Course I am, take what you need, baby. I'm yours to use."

His hands rested on Gavin's shoulder as he slowly sank down onto his cock, both groaning at the sensations. He just felt so sensitive, skin burning in a good way from where they were connected. He sat himself down, hips twitching but he needed to give them both time to adjust.

Then Connor rose up and sank back down, again and again, speeding up to an almost inhuman pace. Gavin leaned forward capturing Connor's lips in a heated kiss.

"So good, baby," Gavin mumbled when he needed to breathe again. "Keep going, ok? Shit, you're so beautiful."

He rolled his hips just the right way that had him close to screaming, but Gavin was quick enough to stick two fingers into his mouth. Connor sucked on them, licking between them and swirling his tongue around the tips. Gavin pressed the other to the small of Gavin's back, almost reverently as he let Connor fuck himself just how he wanted it.

Connor took the fingers out his mouth to intertwine their fingers, his other still holding desperately to Gavin's shoulder as their foreheads pressed together. It was close to being caring and intimate, but Connor didn't want to think too hard on that. Gavin was just doing this to keep him alive, nothing more nothing less. Right?

Gavin kept mumbling sweet nothings against his lips, their breaths mingling as Connor's bouncing started losing its rhythm. "You close?" Gavin whined, his hands tightening enough that would hurt a human, but the pressure just felt good to Connor.

He nodded, already feeling the tenseness come over him. There was a coil inside him but he couldn't get there, he needed something.

"Come on, Connor. Let me see you come." Gavin pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Gavin probably had no idea what he'd done, but Gavin saying his name like a prayer shook him to the core and he couldn't hold on anymore. He said it like he… like he loved him, but his mind went blissfully blank as he sat him onto Gavin's lap, squeezing around him.

He could feel Gavin in him, feel himself being filled up but he went limp in Gavin's arms. The man didn't seem to mind, just putting his arm tightly around him as they tried to slow their breathing.

He checked for the virus but it was completely gone and out of his system. He felt overheated but not unnaturally so now, now he felt content and satisfied in Gavin's arms. He pressed soft kisses to his shoulder and neck, leaving lazy hickeys here and there. "Thank you," Connor mumbled against his skin.

"Yeah, no problem. Hopefully, you enjoyed yourself?"

Connor nodded, his eyes still closed in bliss. "Very much so. Though we should both get cleaned up and back to work." Not that he wanted to even move let alone work, but he had responsibilities. He had to tell Hank he was ok and managed to get it out of his system.

Gavin's hold tightened protectively around him, their hands still clasped together. "Nuh-uh, not yet. You fucked me so hard I need more than a minute and you're staying with me for it."

Connor hummed happily, nuzzling at Gavin's neck before laying his chin on his shoulder. "Ok."

The two sat there and no one even came near the bathroom (little did the two know, Hank had said there was a problem in there and told people to just hold it for now, and everyone listened). It was calm and warm, but he did pull off, making them both hiss. He sat back down, wrapping his legs around Gavin's waist.

"Could we do this again?" He asked meekly, still hiding his face. He didn't want to push, Gavin was generous enough, but he didn't want this to stop.

Gavin was silent for so long he was sure he'd be thrown off and yelled at for even thinking it was a possibility. But then Gavin pulled back, cupping his cheek gently and pressing the softest kiss to his lips. "Yeah, we can do this if you want. I'm ok with whatever you want, just sex or… more?" Now Gavin looked nervous, but Connor broke into a wide grin.

"More! More, please, I um, yeah I'd like more." This couldn't be real, but Gavin was still holding him and pressing kisses all over his face making him giggle. "Gavin!" He whined, his smile widening impossibly.

Gavin smiled back, his eyes lighting up beautiful even in the bathroom lighting. "Good, cause so do I. But I think we should at least leave the bathroom, my ass is getting sore."

"Oh!" Connor jumped back, offering a hand to help Gavin up. They got toilet paper and cleaned each other up with soft words and laughter. They still both looked thoroughly fucked, but maybe people would think they just fought? One look at either of their necks would prove otherwise, but that was fine.

He wasn't sure if he'd first thank or punch the person who created this virus, but either way, he would catch them. Plus Gavin had promised a reward for doing so, and he wouldn't fail his mission.

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five-rivers · 4 years

Text

Fruits

For @greyheartwriter for the Phic Phight! Enjoy!

Thanks to the Fenton Faded Folio Fixer, the waterlogged, ripped, and slightly singed journal of Jack's favorite and most notorious ancestor was now readable. Or, at least, carefully scanned photographs of the pages could be read. Jack could hardly wait to read it. He and Maddie had stayed up until the small hours of the morning inputting pages.

If only they were young again, able to pull all-nighters... Alas, it was not to be.

Still, he was very high energy when he got up that morning. As usual. He bounced down the stairs in front of his wife, letting his enthusiasm out.

"Hey, Mads, what kind of cool historical ghost fighting techniques do you think we'll find in ol' John Fenton-Nightingale's journal? My grandpa told me that he once fought a demon ghost with his bare hands, can you imagine?"

He heard a choking sound from the kitchen, and bounded in to find his son, Danny, choking on his cereal. He gave Danny a hearty slap on the back, and Danny started gasping for air.

"You okay there, Danny boy?"

"I'm, yeah, I'm fine. I just- Late for school! Gotta go!"

Danny rushed out the door without any further explanation. Jack scratched his head. "Huh. Isn't it still pretty early?"

"It's Saturday," said Maddie, concerned. "Should we go get him?"

"Nah, he'll figure it out soon enough!" said Jack. "It's good to see him so eager to go! Speaking of eager, let's go see how good ol' John ripped ghosts apart in the good old days!"

"Blood blossoms are extinct, right?" Danny asked Sam, watching her water her plants in her greenhouse, hands on his knees. "I mean, definitely and absolutely?"

"As far as I could find out," said Sam. "I talked to all of my gardening contacts. Only one had ever even heard of them, and she was convinced it was just a weird rose. I mean, even from where I was tied, I could tell they weren't, so... What's this about, anyway? Did your parents find out about them?"

"No, but they're about to. They got the Nightingale journal legible."

"Dang. I thought you trashed it."

"I tried! I really tried! But then Dad got it in his head that ghosts were trying to destroy it because it held secret ghost fighting secrets-"

"I mean, true, but go on."

"-and they got really enthusiastic about it. They build a whole machine just to read it!"

Sam put down her watering can and patted Danny on the back. "Well, hopefully there isn't anything in there that's worse than blood blossoms."

Danny groaned. "Why would you say something like that?"

"... and they're great on sandwiches!" exclaimed Jack.

"They certainly sound amazing," said Maddie as she typed on the lab computer. "They would be an amazing asset, but I can't find anything about them online, or even anything that looks like them. Show me the picture again? Maybe I can run it by some people."

"Sure thing, Mads!" Jack handed Maddie the relevant page. "Do you know a place called the Spine?"

"Not off the top of my head, why?"

"Because John says that's where he hid a bunch of seeds, just in case those dastardly ghosts tried to destroy them!"

"He hid them in the spine?" repeated Maddie, looking up from the computer. "Are you sure?"

"That's what he said!"

"Jack, what if he meant... the spine of the book?"

Both of them rushed across the lab to where the journal was stored in a ghost-proof box. Maddie picked up a pair of scissors.

"I'm really sorry if I'm wrong, Jack," she said.

"Don't be! It's what John would have wanted!"

She flipped up the lid and took out the wrecked book. "Maybe that's why the ghosts were so insistent on trying to destroy this, now. They knew about the seeds."

"I wouldn't put it past 'em!"

Maddie picked apart what was left of the binding, and, sure enough, a little cloth bag was nestled alongside the folded backs of the pages. Carefully, Jack picked it up and untied the top. He grinned widely and showed the shriveled red-brown fruits inside to Maddie.

"They're here, Maddie! Wait 'til I tell the kids! They'll be so excited! A little piece of family history, right here, in our hands."

"Wait, Jack," said Maddie, grabbing his arm. "I don't think we should tell them."

Jack's face fell. "Why not?"

"Well," said Maddie, frowning, "you know how they are about ghosts. I think we should keep these secret. So the ghosts don't find out, like they did with the journal."

"You don't think Jazz or Danny told the ghosts about the journal, do you?"

Maddie shook her head. "No, not necessarily. But they could have told their friends, and the ghosts could have overheard. This is just really important to our work and your family history, and I'd hate for it to be destroyed because of a mistake like that."

"Alright, we'll keep it secret, then. At least until they're ready to use! We can use the Fenton Stockades! The kids never go down there."

"You haven't heard any more about the journal?" Danny asked Jazz a week later. He leaned nervously against her doorjamb. He'd been having flashback nightmares to the seventeenth century or whatever hell year John Fenton-Nightingale had been from.

"What journal?" asked Jazz. "I read several. Psychology Today?"

"What?" asked Danny wrinkling his nose. "Isn't that a magazine? No, Dad's ancestor's journal. The one he and Mom thought was full of old ghost fighting stuff."

"No," said Jazz. "Why? Is it full of old ghost fighting stuff?"

Danny shrugged. "I didn't look at it super closely before I tried to torch it, but, yeah."

"That was you? Why?" asked Jazz, looking up from her book and swinging her legs off her bed.

"Because the guy tried to kill Sam," said Danny, scowling.

"Th- Our ancestor, who lived in the sixteen hundreds tried to kill Sam?" asked Jazz. "Jeez, I don't hear about half the things you guys get up to, do I? Why would he try to kill Sam?"

"He thought she was a witch. Thought I was a demon, too."

"So the demon Dad was saying he wrestled..."

"Probably me, to be honest."

"Just so you know," said Jazz, "I am intensely disturbed."

"That's two of us. Just, keep your ears out for them talking about blood blossoms or anything like that, okay?"

"Sure thing, little bro. And blood blossoms are?"

"Incredibly painful to ghosts. Or to half-ghosts who happen to be in ghost form." Danny made a face, remembering. "I was in so much pain I couldn't even think about turning back."

"You want to talk about it?"

"No," said Danny. "Not really."

"Well, if you change your mind..."

"Thanks," said Danny.

"Heh- achoo!"

"Sounds like you've got some allergies there, Danno!" said Jack. "I used to get them when I was your age, too!"

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Danny. When his allergies had failed to show up the year after he became half-ghost, he had thought he had seen the last of them, but apparently they had just been lying in wait, because now they were worse than ever. He resisted the urge to rub his eyes.

If he ever found out what plant was doing this to him, he was going to destroy it with extreme prejudice.

"We'll pick up some allergy medication next time we're at the store. Which kind did you like, again? Allegra? Claratin?"

"I don't care," said Danny. "Whichever."

"Well," said Maddie, putting a pot on the table, "maybe this will help you clear up your sinuses, at least for a little bit. I put lots of spices in it." She ladled rosy pink soup into first Danny's then Jazz's bowls.

"It's an old family recipe!" said Jack, proudly.

Danny was immediately suspicious. Sure, he was probably just being paranoid, but he couldn't help but remember that John Fenton-Nightingale had eaten blood blossoms. Danny doubted consuming something like that would be good for him, no matter what form he was in.

He made a show of sneezing very hard and knocked his soup off the table.

"Aw, man," he said, staring at the mess.

"Don't worry, Danny-boy! You can have some of mine!"

"No, no," said Danny. "I'm actually not feeling all that hungry... I think I'll just go to bed." He fled the dining room without waiting for a response

"Jack," said Maddie, "do you think Danny was acting strangely at dinner today?" She still wasn't used to how her voice echoed in the Fenton Stockades, even after all these years.

"Yeah. Man, he's got some brutal allergies, huh?"

Maddie pruned a branch off of one of the larger blood blossom bushes. "Did you see the way he was looking at the blood blossom soup?" she asked.

"Not really! I was too busy looking at mine, and, man, was it delicious or what?"

"Thanks, Jack," said Maddie, smiling briefly. Her thoughts turned back to Danny, and the smile fell. "The book said that the fruits were good against overshadowing, right?"

"Right-o, Mads!"

"How long until these start bearing, do you think?"

The answer to the question was two weeks. For two weeks, Maddie lived not knowing whether or not her son was a ghost. For two weeks, Danny lived in a state of steadily increasing anxiety and paranoia.

He could feel Maddie watching him. He could feel her doubt. Literally. It made him sick. Or was that just the allergies? Either way it was brutal and Danny found himself taking every excuse he could to get out of the house. He rarely ate at home. He couldn't trust the food.

Jazz didn't think it was healthy. Neither did Danny, but it wasn't his fault.

"Do you have any proof?" asked Jazz, exasperated.

"Proof of what?"

"That Mom's acting weird, or that she's trying to poison you."

"No," admitted Danny. "But that doesn't mean she isn't."

"You've lost ten pounds, Danny, and you were already a stick. People will think you're anorexic." She paused. "You're not actually anorexic, are you?"

"No!" said Danny. "That's stupid. I'd eat if I could trust anything. Which I can't."

"Please, Danny. At least eat a cookie. I watched Mom make them. She didn't put in anything weird. Except for raisins, I guess."

Danny glanced down at the plate on the table, mouth watering. They smelled so good, and he was so hungry.

"Okay," he said, "but you have to watch in case I die or something."

Jazz rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said.

Danny picked up a cookie and bit into it. "Are you sure these are raisins?" he asked, picking the bite back out of his mouth.

"They were in the raisin box," said Jazz.

"They taste kind of funny," said Danny. His pulse had picked up. Crud, was he having a panic attack? Over a cookie?

"I guess they were kind of old," admitted Jazz. She took a cookie herself. "They're not bad. Danny? Are you okay?"

Danny, leaning on the counter, shook his head. "Can't breathe," he wheezed.

"Oh my gosh, you're swelling up," said Jazz.

Danny's vision tunneled and went dark.

"... anything new in his daily life? His diet?"

The voice was unfamiliar to Danny.

"We got some new plants last month... We've been trying them in cooking."

"In the cookies?"

"The fruits, yes, they're an heirloom variety."

"Could you bring some in? I'd like to run a few tests, but my initial diagnosis is that Danny has a severe allergy to something he ate."

There was an annoying beeping sound.

"Of course." Oh, that was his Mom. She sounded worried. "When do you think he'll wake up?"

"Any time now. But there are some other things I'd like to talk to you about that we found. Would you mind stepping out with me for a moment? Alright, so..."

"You can stop pretending to be asleep," said Jazz.

Danny groaned. "I told you so."

"You did," agreed Jazz.

"What have they noticed?" asked Danny, opening his eyes to see a hospital room.

"Not much, don't worry. I think they just want to ask about your portal scar."

"Mhm," said Danny, rubbing his chest. "So..."

"Severe allergic reaction. They hit you with an epi-pen."

"Cool. That worked?"

"Apparently."

"Are you sure you got rid of all of it?" asked Danny, standing well clear of the front door.

"We're positive, honey," said Maddie.

"Yeah, Danno," said Jack. "We got it up with the Fenton Pollen-o-Matic! Just, let us make this up to you, okay, sport? We didn't mean for it to turn out like this."

"I know," said Danny. He squared his shoulders and walked inside.

Danny sat on his bed, cross-legged. He had to check this now, rather than later, even if the thought of what was probably going to happen made him cringe.

No, he had to think positively. After all, what were the odds that the universe hated him that much?

Pretty high.

Okay. Positive thoughts not working. Time to bite the bullet.

He pulled on his core, summoning his transformation rings. They appeared, bright and white around his waist. They started to separate, and-

He was hit with a wall of blinding pain. His rings snapped back together.

Typical, really.

He reached for his phone and dialed a number.

"Hey, Tucker. How long did it take for those blood blossoms to go through your system?"

#danny phantom #phic phight #phic phight 2020

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #424

“got no superspeed, but i’m running this town”

What is the first line in the song you are currently listening to/last listened to? "I’m running out of time; I hope that I can save you somehow.” Are you an easy lay? Not in the slightest. What was the last reason you cried? Life and how inexplicably I'm failing at it. What’s hurting you right now? More like what isn't. Do you remember important dates? Only some. I'm awful with numbers. Do you own anything with the Playboy Bunny on it? No. Do you own a bean bag chair? No. Have you ever played Gamecube? At a friend's house. Have you ever played with toy cars before? Yeah, with my nephew. He LOVES monster trucks. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Oh, definitely. I loved picking them up as a kid. What is your favorite kind of salad? Just plain 'ole iceberg lettuce with ranch, really. Are you any good at Ping-Pong? Holy hell no, I SUCK. What was/is your high school mascot? A firebird. Can you make cute little animals by folding paper? God no, I'm awful at origami. Like, I have zero concept of how to do it. What kind of music do you like? Various types of metal and rock. Do you like apple juice? Yeah. Do you like to draw? It's funny, like I do love it, but I barely ever do it because I get frustrated when I can't get what's in my head onto paper. What do you put on your french fries? Generally ketchup. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? Two. Do you want to have a big family in the future? I don't want kids, just pets. Probably a lot of pets. Is Vegas one of your must-see places? No. Pet rat: yay or nay? I've had multiple pet rats and I adore them. I've come to find I'm not the best at keeping rodents because changing the bedding so much sucks ass, but nevertheless they are fantastic pets for people who don't mind the maintenance. Would you call yourself a writer? Written any stories lately? Yes. I haven't written in a while, though. I just have absolutely zero motivation to RP. Are you good at reading people's body language? I probably overanalyze it, really. Ever threatened somebody and actually went through with it? I don’t threaten people. Does holding newborn babies scare you? Extremely. I feel like they're made of thin glass. Piercings: yay or nay? I LOVE piercings. They add an interesting touch to your appearance and to me just (usually) look super cool. There are very few piercings I don't like. Do you have a collage of pictures in your bedroom? No, but I want to make a motivation board very badly. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Were video games better in the 1980s, 1990s, or the 2000s? Why? '80s games bore me honestly, but I love some '90s and many 2000s games. I've got to say ultimately newer games win, because of graphics increasing immersion (no, I do not whatsoever believe graphics are everything or always make a better experience), voice acting improving immensely, etc. Have you ever watched The Beverly Hillbillies? Yes! Mom loves it so I used to watch it a lot with her as a kid. I'd still watch it. Did your mother ever sing lullabies to you when you were younger? Yes. Are you ready to get out of this town? I HATE THIS TOOOWN, IT'S SO WASHED UUU-UP, AND ALL MY FRIENDS DON'T GIVE A FUUU-UUUUUCK god hell yes get me the fuck out. Do you know anybody that is pregnant right now? Quite a few. What are you listening to? "Superluv” by Shane Dawson. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? No. Does your father have any facial hair? Yes. Did your grandparents teach you anything? My maternal grandmother, the only one I really ever knew, taught me I'm a disappointment, pretty much. And a bitch. Do you want/have a Bachelor’s degree? It'd be nice to have one, but I don't, and I'm not pursuing it again. I've wasted enough of my parents' money. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favourite? Not seriously, but I enjoy them well enough. I like Spider-Man. What did you have for dinner last night? Mom ordered Mexican. I had two shrimp and cheese quesadillas and rice with cheese. Do you think you look similar to your siblings? No. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yeah, it's fun. Do you know your best friend’s middle name? Yes. Are you close to your father? I am. Have you ever had a serious conversation with your dad? Yeah. Would you rather have long or short hair? I enjoy having short hair way more. Who did you go/plan on going with to prom? I went with Jason twice. Have you ever been to a debate and speech tournament? Hell no, and I never would. Arguing makes me cry lmao. Are you someone who enjoys stand-up comedy? Yep. What’s one thing that scares you about living alone and being independent? A lot of things do, but one thing in specific that I fear is that I let the house become cluttered and messy. I'm so shit at cleaning, especially when I'm depressed. It's why my own bedroom isn't even fully decorated, and we've lived here since I wanna say last November. If someone offered you an all-expenses paid trip to one European country, where would you go and why? Germany, 'cuz I enjoy the culture and would love to try some foods and visit places. Have you ever won anything on the lottery? No. Are you interested in the World Cup? I couldn't possibly care less. What’s the longest time you’ve ever been on a plane for? Idk. Do you let your hair dry naturally or do you towel-dry it or blow dry it? I use a towel to dry it some, then let it really get the job done naturally. How many of the Harry Potter books have you read? None. Who last gave you their number? When I posted on Facebook about going on a mental health hiatus, my good friend Alon messaged me her number if I ever needed to talk. I was really thankful. Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Honestly yeah. I'm slow to grasp a lot of things. Your first black eye: Did you give it or get it? Never gotten or given one. Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? Yes to both. Are you mad right now? I'm annoyed, but not mad. Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? No. Has anyone ever called the cops on you? No. Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Yeah, I love milk. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? It is EXTREMELY sensitive. What was the last situation to upset you? I'd rather not talk about it. Have you ever had an online argument? I have been heavily active on the Internet since I was like, 11. Maybe younger. I have been in plenty. Are you at risk for any medical issues? A lot of heart problems run in my family. I'm also suspicious I may develop diabetes, which also runs very heavily in my family. What were you doing at 7:00 a.m.? Surprisingly, I was asleep. Do you own a robe? No. What would you consider your life to be? A wreck. What is your favorite mark of punctuation? I like question marks. Who knows your biggest secret? Nobody. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Probably not. How do you know? I just doubt it. I'm so unlikable right now. Could you go a day without eating? I don't think I could. I do not react to stomach pain well, and that includes when I'm hungry. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. What’s your favorite drink? Strawberry Sunkist, but I don't allow myself to have it. I will DESTROY a can or five of it. Who was the last person that texted you? My mom. What are you craving? Nothing really right now. What was the first thing you ate today? An everything bagel. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. Have you taken any medication today? Yeah, I take some prescription meds in the morning and at night. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but that'd be cool. Do you know anyone who has diabetes? My mom, for one. Have you ever made a boy cry? Sadly. Who are you talking to? Nobody. Do you think you’ve ruined your chances with someone? Absolutely. Your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? My parents are divorced, and I stayed with Mom. Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of your own skin color/racial background? I couldn't care less. For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy? For others, absolutely. It's your right. For me myself, it's possible, idk. If I was God forbid raped, I probably would have an abortion. If I accidentally got pregnant in a healthy relationship, I'd probably have a "too bad, so sad" outlook where I'd suck it up and go through with the gestation because having sex and risking pregnancy was my own decision. Even if I'm pro-choice, I think I'd feel too guilty aborting, especially with the child being someone's I love. Is it a requirement that you communicate every day with your significant other (via phone, text, in person, whatever)? IF I had an s/o, no. I like to, but sometimes you just want space. Are you fetish-friendly? I'm not gonna lie, some fetishes are just too fucking weird for me. I TRY not to judge, because I doubt you can actually help fetishes, but I inevitably do sometimes. If you're asking would I engage in fetishes because my s/o liked them, possibly, but it would really depend on what it is. Have you ever cosplayed? No. I think cosplay is really cool, though. Do you support the exploration of outer space? If yes, would you consider taking a trip into space, or even to another planet? As creatures who crave knowledge and understanding of our universe, I do support space exploration, but I do NOT believe we should be spending as much money as we do on it. Taking care of the planet we're actually on is far more important imo. I wouldn't personally go to outer space. Is it okay for men to wear makeup? What’s your opinion of male crossdressers? It's totally okay! Guys with makeup can be super attractive. Crossdressers, too. Go for it. You’re in a new relationship and your partner admits that they have had 14 sexual partners. Does that sound like a lot to you? For me personally, yes. I don't even know if I'd date someone with 14 past sexual partners, honestly. I would admittedly question their loyalty. Would you let your children under 13 watch movies with full nudity? No. If someone asked you, “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” would you know the answer right away? I would. What is your opinion concerning strip clubs? Not my scene at all, but so long as you respect the dancers, whatever. You do you.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''superluv'' by shane dawson

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mirahuyooo · 4 years

Text

Nighthawk | ksj

Nighthawk

—No matter the effort, he always plagues your mind in nights like this one, reminding you of the feelings you let get out of hand.

Word Count: 1,638 Contents: AnGST, a smidgen of fluff and crack, jin and y/n are besties OwO Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader A/N: I noticed I haven’t written anything for jin in a long while (shame on me) so here’s this! I’m in mood for love—unrequited love. Hope you all enoyed! Today’s sad, sad piece is inspired by the word;

Nighthawk

n. a recurring thought that only seems to strike you late at night—an overdue task, a nagging guilt, a looming and shapeless future—that circles high overhead during the day, that pecks at the back of your mind while you try to sleep, that you can successfully ignore for weeks, only to feel its presence hovering outside the window, waiting for you to finish your coffee, passing the time by quietly building a nest.

P.S. I just wanna remind everyone that dYNAMITE IS COMING SOON oehgtiuabrgujbaufg prepare YOUR LoINS eveRYONE we’RE about tO gET deSTROYED ahksgabrigk

[masterlist]

A sigh leaves your lips as you close the door behind you, setting your bag down on the nearby kitchen counter. It was late—very late. Your face disappears behind the hand that you had brought forth to rub the furrowing of your eyebrows away. There was a damning silence that reigned over your empty Seoul city apartment, and you were attacked from it reflecting your current state, leaving you no choice but to throw yourself in bed.

The moonlight filters lightly through the curtains, casting over the lump of blankets you soon cocooned yourself in. Not even bothering to slip out of the clothes you’ve been wearing for the past twelve hours, you buried your face into one of the many spare pillows you had placed around you, hugging it closer to your chest as you dealt with the fissures seizing your heart. Alas, the frustration of not falling asleep adds to the weight you carry with you. At the very least, with the pillows surrounding you, whatever demons lurking in the dark won’t be able to add to the problems you were dealing with.

You knew it was a senseless and pathetic feat. All of this was practically your own fault. You were, after all, the architect of your own melancholy, and, for some unfortunate reason, you were exceptionally good at this particular skill.

Fuelling your despair, you deemed it befitting to punish yourself by reaching for your phone and further depriving yourself of much needed sleep. You’ve been lying around for what seemed like eternity—you weren’t quite sure. Your mind barely registers the numbers that the clock displayed before you, and in all honesty, you’ve lost the ability to care about it at all. You’ve stayed up well past the hours of 2 AM before, doing the same self-wallowing sessions you were doing right now. You had long been a seasoned connoisseur in ploughing through ungodly hours—something he’s always scolded you for.

As some sort of hilarious joke you couldn’t quite understand, fate throws something in your way as you scroll through Twitter—a picture of you and the very man who’s been plaguing your thoughts at 2:18 AM in the morning—Kim Seokjin. Even as your eyes start to blur with tears, they still drink his beauty in—his plump lips, his deep piercing eyes, and his confident gait. Combine those compelling factors with his welcoming persona, astounding cooking skills, and sheer talent, and you’ve got yourself one fine man that you’ve been simping over for the past decade or so. Oh, how blessed you’d be if he was yours.

Unfortunately, there also existed compelling factors that couldn’t make Kim Seokjin yours.

For instance, there was your remarkable trait of being a damn coward. Residing so long within the realm of the accursed Friend Zone had fashioned your fears into mighty beasts that bullied you into staying within the borders of the said zone, regardless of your countless attempts to escape it. Always at the last minute, your mind compels you to retreat at the nightmare of ruining the friendship you two had fostered over so many years—should he ever realize that you were a peasant compared to his princely attributes.

Speaking of being low beneath him, you very much were one. You’ve made peace with your inferiority to his beauty and lifestyle, so much that you could stomach sitting next to him in all of your bare-faced, broke glory. You were well aware that you were average—disagreeable next to him, but average nonetheless.

In other aspects, your mundane life also pales in contrast to his exhilarating endeavors. He’s a beloved icon—a passionate singer and graceful dancer who tours the world to meet the millions he’s touched with his words and his group’s songs. You, on the other hand, exist on the other side of the spectrum. You were no one special really, which you really didn’t mind since you weren’t keen on being in the spotlight. The closest shot to fame you ever had was when you were revealed to be Kim Seokjin’s non-showbiz best friend who once shamelessly dominated him on an episode of EatJin.

You weren’t even his type, which had greatly satiated the accusations of some fans—it’s still undecided if you should take full offense on that one. You weren’t the cutesy, feminine, soft girl that’s often alluded to be matched with him. You were capable of a meal or two, but you were no master chef. The only thing in the box that you know you fulfil very well is that you take care of him—and you’re enormously proud of that accomplishment of yours.

As much as you mother him at times, there are still many a days where you wonder why on Earth he even remains as your best friend—what more if he was to be your boyfriend?

Another sigh leaves your lips once again, tearing your eyes away from the screen to stare up at the moon outside your window—the sole witness of the late night happenings that occur within the premises of your desolate life. Ah, but even the moon would remind you of him.

There was a sensation going abuzz within you—something you knew all too well. You’ve done your best to ignore the infestation of feelings that had apprehended your very being, even attempting to exterminate it by going on numerous blind dates. Unfortunately, the damn lovebug has always damned you, always surviving and multiplying with every sweet gesture, every dashing smile, and every uplifting heart-to-heart that he delivers to you.

All of a sudden, your phone rings. The screen reveals the face of the very man you’ve been having a debate with your mind about. Jin was calling you.

“Why does he have to be like this?” you whined to no one in particular, snivelling away as you were further left a mess. The moment your hand properly holds the device again, you glare at the image. “I hate him,” you grumble, but not really.

As soon as you answered, you weren’t given a chance to talk. “Why are you online?” he instantly asks you in that scolding tone you were so familiar with.

Your heart flutters, even you went to roll your eyes. “Why are you up?” you countered childishly, voice raspy from your recent breakdown.

Jin’s delectable chuckle makes you squeak into the plush of a nearby pillow. “Ya! I just woke up,” he defensively says, not seeming to take notice of your little stunt. “I’m just grabbing a little snack, and then I’ll go back to bed,” he informs you, “busy day tomorrow, after all.”

You hum, as your insides continue with its attempts to betray you. “I couldn’t sleep,” you find yourself admitting to him in a weakened tone.

As you hear the slight ruckus in the background, Jin tsk-ed at your bad decisions. You prepared yourself to be told off. “Scrolling through social media won’t help, stupid,” he softly chastised, much to your surprise and damnation. “Drink the tea I got you from Japan,” he tells you, making you fluster. “You still have that right?”

You could only hum in response, as you further coiled into a fetal position—as if to say you were made as soft as a baby by this man. You held back a snivel, as your mess of emotions continued to make you cry over him.

“Good,” Jin says, still not aware of the true state of ruin you were in. “Go on and drink some, then. It’ll help you sleep.”

A sniff escapes you. “Okay,” you say with a whimper clinging onto the last syllable.

This time, your best friend doesn’t miss the sound. You could imagine him freezing, stopping whatever it was he was doing. “(Y/N), are you alright?” he asks, concern already pouring through in those few words alone.

Not wanting to conflict him, you went out of your way to fake a cough and a few more sniffles. “Yeah,” you said, in spite of your heart hammering against your chest. “I’m just tired from all the arranging earlier.”

The silence that followed was eventually broken by Jin clearing his throat. “Rest well then,” he tells you, before he goes to tease. “No one should look ugly at my wedding, and that includes you.”

Ah, there it was—the one last factor that cements you to the confines of your prison cell in the zone of unrequited love.

“Good night, (Y/N),” he says, voice gentle enough to destroy your heart.

In the silence that followed, Jin didn’t hang up. He never really does hang up first. You smile bitterly, tears silently flowing one after the other like a waterfall. “Goodbye, Jin,” you tell him, ending the call just as a sob wrecks through you. You put down your phone, and cry into your pillow.

Kim Seokjin—your best friend, your greatest regret—is getting married, and to a woman you knew would be perfect for him—a woman so graceful, beautiful, and skillful. After all, you were the one who had introduced the two of them together in the first place. You had no doubt that the two of them would be happily ever after.

You wonder then, if you hadn’t pushed your feelings aside so adamantly and went with the hell of it, would you have been the one in white to be waiting down the aisle? At any point in time, was there really a smidgen of a chance that Jin would’ve said that he liked you back?

You’ll never know.

Your puffy eyes wander towards the lone moon that shone brightly behind your sheer curtains. Your nightly companion was staring right back at you, but all you could hear were your thoughts.

It was all your fault.

#bts au #bts imagines #bts angst #bts jin #bts kim seokjin #bts jin imagine #bts jin x reader #kim seokjin #kim seokjin angst #kim seokjin imagines #kim seokjin x reader

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spitefulinamillionways · 4 years

Note

headcanon requests, you say? can i get some uhhh charles going Full Dad on beej? i love that dynamic sm!

hskshdjsfb yes!!! i love that dynamic too it’s just 💞💓💕💘💖💗

just letting you know this is long as fuck because i have so many ideas for this

when beej was brought back by lydia him and charles didn’t really have much of a relationship other than ‘please don’t disturb me while i’m trying to birdwatch thanks’

lydia has tried talking to him about charles but bj usually got bored

but everything changed when the fire nation attacked when he spotted betelgeuse trying his absolute best to help lydia with some homework (let’s just say it was english or something)

so he comes into her room all ‘hey what’s going on here?’ and offers to help

lydia agrees obviously

the two are uncomfortable at first constantly interrupting eachother and doing that thing where they’re like ‘no you can go first’ ‘no you were talking first’ and then being silent for a second before talking at the same time but they eventually work it out and find how well they can work together

it all ended with lydia finally finishing her homework after a whole hour and a half even with help because they kept getting distracted and talked about stuff until one of them (never betelgeuse) were like ‘okay guys we need to do the homework’

after that charles tries his best to get closer with betelgeuse and it works

it’s actually scary how much they get along dispite being almost polar opposites but being scary as we all know is betelgeuse’s thing so don’t worry it’s ok

one day betelgeuse and lydia did a weird little art project they found online and show it to charles

lydia explains everything about it and betelgeuse ends it with ‘and i did that part!’ and he points to a couple scribbly drawings of random things

charles is all ‘that’s so good! i’m really impressed with you two!’ and beej’s hair instantly turns a bright green because he’d never had a father figure, hell even a normal parental figure, in his life

from then on beej showed everything he (and sometimes lydia) made and charles was always equally, if not more, impressed everytime

he also was glad it gave bj a hobby and something to do other than drink or wreck the house

he was surprised at how much of a pushover bj could be if you were just nice to him (i don’t know if pushover is the right word, i was thinking sweetheart but that sounded weird)

charles started inviting bj to do things with him and lydia that would usually just be, yknow, him and lydia

of course bj would accept and be overjoyed the whole time

fast forward to maybe a couple weeks and he’s gotten really used to this, both bj and charles, so after hearing lydia call charles dad so many times you can imagine what eventually happened

‘hiya, dad! h-‘ he stopped after realising what he had said, after basically everyone was staring at him

‘dad? am i a father figure to you?’

‘obviouslynotthat’sweird, it was just an accident’

‘alright, whatever you say, son’ he couldn’t help but smile at how happy betelgeuse got whenever he said things like that

betelgeuse started calling charles dad a bit more, feeling as if it was okay (which it was) but it got kinda awkward after delia mentioned it reminded her of the wedding, but that was in the past and bj had proven he wasn’t completely an asshole

lydia didn’t feel jealous while bj was getting affection, she felt happy for him and was excited that he was basically her brother now

ok i know this is a bit of a tangent and it’s not about charles and bj like you asked but betelgeuse goes full Protective Older Brother on anyone who even LOOKS at lydia in a bad way at school or anywhere. he’s said multiple times how he’s willing to kill lydias bullies but she always says the same thing about how ‘it’s wrong’ and stuff. but what a shock to her when she finds one of her worst bullies has gone missing right after they had talked some absolute sHIT and spread a rumour about her. she obviously knew who did it and was all ‘you can’t do this beej, i don’t know where they are but-‘ ‘lyds i’m just gonna be real with you i doubt they’ll ever find the body’

lydia didn’t know what the fuck to say

anyway back to charles and bj

yeah like i was saying she wasn’t jealous at all, in fact she was glad about how bj was being included more and wouldn’t just have to leave him on his own when some family gathering was happening with everyone (including the maitlands)

bj didn’t do the best on those days

after telling this to charles he felt really bad and apologised way too many times even though bj insisted it was okay and he didn’t really care anymore

bj is invited to everything now as long as he doesn’t make a mess (which he doesn’t, apart from on april fools which, oh god, was hell for everyone including himself)

of course there were times where bj couldn’t be invited as it was ‘Deetzes Only Please We Have Something Serious To Talk About Thank You Sorry’ but he would just vibe with the maitlands a bit

charles once overheard a (pretty depressing and obviously meant to be private) conversation between bj and lydia where he was talking about juno and how horrible she was, it was filled with many tears from beej and hugs from lydia

charles was really to fucking destroy a bitch!!!!!

he knocked on the door to lydias room and asked if he could come in

bj said yeah but lydia said no

he said it was okay and he’ll just ‘clean himself up a bit’ so he tried to change his hair colour on demand, something he had once learnt to do when he was with juno, but it only worked a little bit

charles asked what was wrong and bj insisted nothing and that everything was fine but charles already knew that was a lie

‘i want you to tell me everything she did to you.’

‘what?’

‘your mom. what did she do to you?’

‘ah, it’s fine, dad, really it wasn’t-‘

‘just talk about it. let it all out, okay?’

that night was uh

a lot

for all three of them

but it helped beej a lot and he was back to his normal self the next day which is good!!

i’m gonna try and wrap this up because this is extremely long and i don’t think you were expecting this much, but this is literally the first ask i’ve ever gotten in all my time on tumblr, even on my older blogs lol so i wanted to make the most of it

beej and charles have the best father to son dynamic you can’t change my mind because i am correct ok thank you my name is matylda thank you for coming to my ted talk

no but seriously thank you for being my first ask!! this was so much fun to write and i hope it’s not too bad, it’s pretty early in the uk and i’m kinda tired so if there are any mistakes i didn’t find i’ll try my best to fix them later! 🤍🖤🤍🖤

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice headcanons #beetlejuice incorrect quotes #beetlejuice headcanon #beetlelands #goldenrat #adam maitlands #barbara maitlands #beetlejuice incorrect quote

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 3 years

Text

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 149

149

Picking up dessert, Lance selecting by sniffing the air outside the bakery rather than coming in, something Keith wasn’t going to question, they headed back to the apartment. Krolia was there. As was a suspicious looking container on the beach. Putting her beer down, his mother rushed over to Lance. Keith mentally agreeing with his boyfriend as Lance drew closer to him. Krolia ignoring the action as she wrapped her arms around Lance. His mother was a crazy woman. Keith had half a mind to pull her off Lance

“Lance! Look at you! You’re positively glowing in an undead kind of way!”

“Mum!”

“Oh, hush you. I’m allowed to have missed him”

“You don’t need to tease him”

“I’m not. Look how round you’re getting! Hello, my grandbabies! How are you feeling? Any weird cravings? I had such weird cravings when I was pregnant with Keith. Have you felt them moving?”

Pulling Krolia off Lance, Keith moved between the pair. The dessert box nearly squashed as he did

“Mum, leave him alone. We only just got home”

“No need to be so jumpy. It’s not like you’ve got a head in the box. Sooo. What’s in the box?”

A what now? Why would he have a head in a box? Okay. The idea sounded somewhat familiar, but who went to a bakery to bring home a head?

“Dessert?”

Keith didn’t know why Krolia laughed, or why Shiro let out a bark of laughter before covering his mouth

“Oh, I brought dessert with me! I baked it myself as a little thank you to Lance for having me over for dinner. Here, come take a look”

Krolia took the dessert box from him, Keith looking to Lance as he whispered

“Whatever it is, I wouldn’t recommend eating it”

Krolia calling back over her shoulder

“I heard that! Talk about rude! I baked it according to the recipe”

“And where did you get the recipe?”

“Mostly online”

It was clear that “mostly online” actually meant “hardly on line and mostly from her head”. So proud of her creation that was more an abomination, Keith nearly cried as the cheesecake inside the box went into the bin untouched. Lance looked ready to weep for the poor dessert. Binning it was definitely far too extreme as Lance had chosen something that hadn’t made him feel nauseous and had thought of everyone in his selection. Goodbye lemon cheesecake with lemon curd. They’d hardly known you, but you were missed in the face of the lump in the container.

Maybe lump wasn’t quite fair, yet Lance was trying to figure it out still, so something had to be wrong with the round frosted dessert

“It’s an apple tea cake”

Oh lord. That didn’t sound like a dessert should. “Apple” sounded too healthy

“I steeped the apples in Earl Grey. I mean, why call it a “tea cake”, if there’s no hint of tea in it?”

That... kind of made sense. A quick glance at Lance’s face told him that it shouldn’t

“Uh. Right. I might check on dinner”

“No need. I noticed the lack of vegetables in the dish so I added some frozen ones from the freezer. I expected you boys to be eating healthier, and not just those cans of beans I found in the cupboard”

With each word, Lance looked closer and closer to crying. Ropa Vieja had just the right amount of “fuck all vegetables” to “lots of meat and sauce”. Sure, there were beans and fried things that were like bananas yet weren’t, but Keith could distinctly remember that there weren’t things like frozen vegetables in there. No mixed peas and corn. No carrot. No broccoli. No beans. Lance made them get the proper mixed frozen vegetable packs “as they insisted on being heathens in the kitchen”.

“Ah, Krolia. What vegetables did you add?”

Lance was brave to ask

“Just what was laying around. You boys need to eat healthy and keep those babies healthy. Did I do so something wrong?”

“No. No. I’m sure it’ll be okay. I’m just going to grab some blood before dinner”

His boyfriend didn’t think it’d be okay at all. Krolia clearly didn’t know how to cook. Shiro and Curtis too spineless to stop her. The pair of them on the sofa with Kosmo, watching this train wreck happen right in front of them

“Alright. You put your feet up and relax, though you haven’t answered any of my questions and I want to see all your photos. I promised Miriam I’d look out for you. I’m so sorry she’s passed. She was such an amazing woman. Very funny. I saw a lot of myself in her great sense of humour. I enjoyed her company very much”

Lance seemed a little dazed as he wandered off to their room, rather than the sofa. Keith trailing after him, expecting tears. Sitting on their bed, Lance was holding the latest images of their twins, blood bag sitting on the bed next to him

“Don’t let mum get to you”

Lance snorted, still staring at their twins

“I’m that obvious?”

“A little. She didn’t mess up too much, did she?”

“Nah. I mean, I would have waited if i was adding vegetables so there’d be some crunch instead of mush, but the meat flavour should still be there”

Lance had the whole dinner planned in his head. Keith knew it. He’d prepped early to have a chance to clear his mind and build up facing a full dinner table... not that they really had the space for everyone to sit at the dinner table as they would have at Lance’s

“You okay? She kind of bombarded you with questions”

“I noticed. I’m... kind of not sure what I’m feeling but I think I feel a little better seeing her. She seemed excited about all of this”

“She’s too excitable”

“Nah. I mean. Your mum spent decades fighting against vampires and werewolves. I know she says she accepts me... her excitement... I guess it makes me feel maybe that she does. And that makes me feel better”

“Babe, she’s slightly crazy. Don’t think I haven’t forgotten your first meeting”

“I haven’t. Do you get what I’m saying, though?”

That Lance felt he didn’t have to fear being killed the moment their twins were born, or killed before the birth to stop the spread of vampirism. He hadn’t thought of that. Other than Kolivan, Krolia was the highest Blade member that he’d met. Coran was biased, he helped far more than he harmed. So if Krolia wasn’t going after him, than that meant he could settle that lot of internal worry.

“I do now that I think about it. That reminds me, what was Luis on about? That was weird as hell”

Lance sighed deeply

“Mami’s ring was a family heirloom. She got my grandmothers wedding ring and her sister got the engagement ring when my grandmother passed. Instead of passing it on, as it should have been, I took it once she’d passed. Coran stayed by my side as we viewed Mami until the very last moment before the lid the was slid onto the coffin. I slipped her rings back on where they belong. Seeing you, he’d have to tell Nadia and Sylvio that I’m still around and dating a guy. I wish I could have seen his face when you told him to “shoo”. Thank you for not hitting him...”

“It was tempting... I didn’t want to upset you by starting a fight. And... he had lost Mami too”

“It’s easy to get caught up in what I’m going through, but us kids all adored her. Thank you for being there with me. It made it easier to remember the better times than simply focusing on her being in the cold ground”

“If mum is too much. I can talk to her”

Lance placed the photos down beside him, holding his arm out. Coming over, Keith sank to kneel in front of him, Lance hugging him as he rested his head against his boyfriend’s belly

“She’s fine. Honestly. It’s refreshing that she isn’t acting like I’m made of glass”

“As long as you’re okay. You’re okay, aren’t you?”

“I’m okay. Our twins are okay. I know you can’t feel them, but I was looking at the photos as I felt them move. They’ve been moving a little more”

Keith didn’t feel anything

“Are they moving now?”

“A bit”

“Maybe they don’t like me”

Patting his head, Keith’s chin dug in lightly as he looked up to Lance

“It’s fine, babe. They know you’re here and they love you. Google said it might take a bit before you feel them”

“What does it feel like?”

“Like nothing I can explain. It started like bubbles at first. I totally thought it was indigestion or gas. Pregnancy farts are no joke. Mami told me. She didn’t feel then move though”

Keith pouted. He wasn’t sure he’d handle the pregnant part, but he wanted to feel their babies move

“I want to feel them”

“You will. They already hear you. They hear every time you tell them you love them. I’m sure it won’t be long. I’ve been trying not to say anything but I definitely felt them moving. I don’t know I was being punched or kicked”

Lance’s tone held a lot of pout. Keith was pouting too. For all Lance was going through, he could feel their twins inside of him, as living human beings. Them moving felt as Lance was being rewards for working so hard. He wanted to be rewarded too. He’s contributed, even if he wasn’t doing the heavy lifting

“They’re picking on you already”

Lance sounded proud. Normally someone wouldn’t seem so proud of being hit, before his tone started to shift

“Yep. My two fighters showing off that they’ve inherited their daddy’s moved. I’m honestly okay, babe. Dinner might be... an event. The reason it’s called a “tea” cake is generally because you have it during afternoon tea. Not because there’s tea in it... I was looking forward to cheesecake”

“I was too. I don’t know what to make of her icing it”

“At least she tried?”

Keith didn’t know much, yet he was sure he was right about this. Lance’s fingers against his hair felt nice as he leaned into the touch

“She’s super trying. You don’t have to answer her questions if you don’t want to”

“No. I meant it when I said it was relieving having her be herself. Like a little taste of normality”

Keith snorted. Lance was deluded

“I don’t think that word factors into our lives”

“Maybe not. We should head back out”

“I don’t want to”

Lance ruffled his hair, not caring that he was being whiny. He wanted tonight to go the way Lance had planned so Lance could see he really was more capable than his depressed state was making him feel. Normality really didn’t exist in their lives. Going back to Garrison meant living with two werewolves and stolen cow. How was that normal? And how was it that he was actually looking forward to it. To seeing Lance putter around and mumble about the lawn. The lawn at the cemetery must be like total goals once you hit a certain age. It was rather impressive and Keith really couldn’t care less about lawn. Maybe he should have bought Lance a new lawnmower for Christmas? It probably wasn’t too late, but was it safe to let his pregnant boyfriend loose with a lawnmower? Maybe he’d make it this years Christmas present, for after the twins were born? Wait. Was he really thinking about the lawn...? What was wrong with him?

Krolia hadn’t stopped talking. Keith was fairly certain she’d only raised her voice when she’d gone to use the toilet instead of shutting up. She’d asked Lance all kinds of questions about his pregnancy and Cuba. Lance had shown her photos, Krolia taking photos of the photos with her phone. By the time Coran knocked at the door at 6:30pm, both Shiro and Curtis seemed as relieved as Keith was that there was finally someone else Krolia could focus on. Standing up mid-conversation, Lance went opened the door. Keith stifling his laugh. His boyfriend had the best manners of all of them, but clearly he too had had enough of Krolia.

“Allura?! What are you doing back?!”

“Lance!”

Keith blinked in shock. He didn’t think Allura would be back so soon. Lance hadn’t said he’d heard two sets of footsteps and Kosmo hadn’t barked. Hugging each other, the pair were acting like reunited siblings as they wrapped their arms around each other. Both of them trying to tell each other how good they looked, Keith suspecting Lance was teary eyed and happy about the surprise. Coran seemed especially pleased with his part in this surprise, eyeing the pair happily, moustache corner in his fingers as he beamed. Drawing away, Allura looked Lance up and down

“Oh, Lance. You’re positively glowing with pregnancy. May I?”

“Yeah. Thanks for asking. It still feels a little weird. I’m... so happy you’re back. Rome agreed with you. You’re more vibrant and stunningly beautiful than ever”

Allura drew Lance away from the doorway with a giggle, Keith may have kind of hated the lingering touch of her hand on Lance’s arm. And what was Allura asking permission for? She’d already hugged Lance. That was enough physical contact. And why was she giggling?

“Hush, you. It’s wonderful to see you. I’ve missed you very much, and being diplomatic is simply tedious! Oh...”

Allura grew distant, looking past Lance as she continued in a vacant tone. Keith cautious over her expression

“A boy and a girl... Oh, Lance. I’m so sorry, oh... I’m so sorry. but he’ll be okay. You’ll see. The agony will turn to happiness again”

Allura blinked half a dozen times, perhaps she was unaware of what she’d said. A boy and a girl? Did she just... tell them the sexes from a touch? A girl... and a boy... They were having a boy and a girl? Lance stood frozen, Coran’s smile had slipped. Sliding off the arm of the sofa, Keith strode over to Lance, taking Allura’s hand off his boyfriend. Lance had wanted to wait. To be surprised. Now Allura was telling them there was something wrong with their little boy? And what was this agony?

Pulling out her handkerchief, Allura dabbed at her nose

“Sorry. My mind went right away. Oh, it’s so wonderful to see you. I have so much to tell you. I’m so sorry Miriam passed. I adored her so much. She treated me like a daughter for all these years. I have such fond memories of her over a cup of tea and a biscuit in the middle of the night”

Allura seemed a bit old to be acting as if it’d been one of Mami’s secrets. She didn’t exactly say it was, but the tone was wistful. Genuine sadness over something that’d never happen again. Lance stammering slightly as he said

“Me... uh... yeah... me too.. uh. Come in. Dinner’ll be ready in a little bit, provided that the rice hasn’t started sticking. Keith, can you give me a hand? Shiro will get you and Coran a glass of wine. Krolia made a cake and dinner is Americanised Ropa Vieja. You have to tell all about what you’ve been up to”

His boyfriend was doing a good job of hiding his upset. Keith’s heart was racing as he tried not to snap at Allura. Lance hadn’t noticed her visions all that much in their time together, now it was the third time? that she’d experienced some kind of foresight in front of them. What was this agony? Lance wasn’t going to go through any kind of agony if Keith could help it. If the boy and the girl weren’t their twins, then who? Did they know them? We’re the kids going to be hurt? Was their son going to be hurt?

“Is no one going to ask what the hell was that? Or am I going to have to?”

Thank god for Krolia and bluntness. Keith didn’t have the words to be polite

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I do something?”

Coran cleared his throat, Allura seemed confused by Krolia’s outburst

“Allura, my dear, your foresight popped up again. Do you remember what you saw?”

“Flashes. I’m sorry. I saw Lance holding two beautiful children, and him giving birth, but it’s already fading away”

“You said someone about a boy and girl. And someone hurt. That’s pretty serious to be coming in and saying things about my grandchildren with no idea what you’ve said”

Whelp. Keith was glad not to be in Allura’s shoes. His mother sounded ready to shoot Allura or hold her prisoner and torture her until she revealed everything. Allura stared at her feet, downcast as she replied

“I’m sorry. Sometimes I remember what I see. Sometimes it fades away. Sometimes it’s a feeling more than anything. Sometimes I don’t notice. And sometimes I speak”

Reaching, Lance took Allura by the hand

“It’s okay, Allura. You didn’t mean to. What you said could mean any number of things and not everything you see happens... right?”

“This is true. There have been times when I’ve had such intense feelings for them to fade in a moment of felt déjà vu with no real conclusion. Perhaps it’s the change in your quintessence? Being with Keith has mellowed it muchly. You’ve always had such a soft feeling, but now I feel Keith’s energy in yours. He’s very soothing and compliments your quintessence so well. Maybe I detected an underlying fear? I’m afraid I’m not much use”

Allura tried to laugh it off. Keith feeling a bit of a douche for wanting to yell at her

“You’re plenty of use. You’re practically my sister. You’ve been a beautiful person since the first day I met you”

Allura giggled, raising her head as she covered her mouth

“I remember that. I remember the first time I came to your house. You asked if I was angel... Coran brought me to see you. I seem to remembered you hadn’t spoke in some time”

“Mami called him because of the nightmares. I couldn’t sleep and I was seeing things because of it. Then you showed up and were the prettiest girl I’ve ever met”

“And you asked if I wanted to hide in your closest from the monsters”

“Yeah. I don’t know why, but sometimes I miss the closest”

“Until Veronica and Luis locked you in there”

Allura was teasing, Lance going tense as she stepped on a bad memory. Their friend clearly waiting for a reply, Keith butting in

“Babe, we should check dinner and get that wine organised. Allura, Krolia’s the got the scan photos if you want to take a look”

“Oh, yes please! You have no idea how much I missed you. I would love to see how much these precious ones have grown”

Sacrificing Allura to Krolia, Allura was happy to let Krolia brag about the twins. Coran followed them into the kitchen area, leaving Keith without the opportunity to ask Lance how he felt about what Allura had said. Sighing deeply as he checked the slow cooker, Lance poked at the contents, then let out another sigh

“Babe?”

“I hope you feel like mush. It’s mush for dinner”

Coming up behind Lance, Keith peered over his boyfriend’s shoulder at their dinner

“That’s doesn’t look right. I mean... that’s not how I remember it”

“Nope. The vegetables have lost all structure. Can you get out the blender and hand me a fork? I’ll try fishing out what’s mostly intact then I’ll blend it and stir back into the sauce. If we’re lucky the wine and the taste of the beef would have gotten rid of most of the vegetable taste”

Ignoring the old rule that “Two’s company and three’s a crowd”, Coran moved to peer into the slow cooker from Lance’s right side

“I’m afraid I don’t know what to say about this. I remember less of those pesky vegetables when Miriam cooked”

Lance sighed at Coran as Keith mentally adjusted his rating of Coran. The man going up with his dislike of “pesky vegetables” where they didn’t belong. He’d gone down a fraction due to Allura’s foresight nearly killing their dinner plans by upsetting Lance internally.

Poking at the remains of broccoli, Lance shook his head at the mess in the pot

“Krolia added mixed vegetables while Keith and I were out. She’s made an apple tea cake for dessert”

Coran hesitant in asking

“And how did that go?”

“It was nice knowing you all... and I’d like to remind everyone that I get first dibs on the bathroom”

Lance was being brutal. Brutally hilarious. Mami would have been appalled, but Keith loved it. He didn’t want to try Krolia’s cake either... and her trying to feed him broccoli, this wouldn’t be forgotten or forgiven anytime soon. That his mother would bake left him clueless. Maybe one day they’d meet someone who wasn’t as weird as the rest of them, yet Keith highly doubted that possible.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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dangan-happy · 3 years

Note

Beep boop, I’m stuck on the chicken coop

[ Is extreme loneliness a tw ? I’m kind of vulgar sometimes too sorry] i’m she/her, you may call me Evelyn.

To Rantaro Amami & Nagito Komaeda.

I’m writing it on the spot so maybe what I will say won’t make sense sometimes but to get into it I just feel emptiness and loneliness since maybe i’m 12 and i will turn 18 in few days. Ikr it’s pathetic. It’s not like i don’t have friends or don’t know how to make ones, I even find surprising the number of peoples that want to befriend me without i do anything but I definitely can’t keep them in the long run and I’m tired of this shit.

all i know is destroying and bring chaos, i can’t take care of my relationship and myself properly by giving love and affection the way it’s supposed to be because of the dumb tsundere i am, my trust issues and how i’ve been educated. I constantly feel like my heart is sick as one of my friends text me, I feel like whatever i may say is trash cuz i have interest nobody cares and im a weirdo and my life is weird as well and because of that I can’t even text back like a brat even for people i know really cares of me and push always further when i will respond to them and spoiler alert i never do. And it sucks even more cuz im mostly supposed to be that big sis friend. My trust issues does that i can’t totally open up to people anymore, i don’t want to be seen as weak, i don’t want to be a burden and they probably won’t understand or know what to do about me anyway. I rather ear others peoples problems, supress my feelings and put that clown mask i own so no one really know how i feel. Joke is that people usually think i’m someone accomplished, carefree and confident in myself. Knowing that just fill me with despair and make me think that maybe i will always be alone in this world. I keep pushing peoples away, i don’t know how to cop with my feelings, i’m hard to decrypt and i over analyze things, it’s settled if i don’t change.

But this is also a piece of me and that loneliness did bring good things in my life that i don’t want to loose, i may be all by myself but I’ve never feel more generous and selfless to counterbalance that bad luck. i´ve been acoustumed to it, i’ve started to use that loneliness to concentrate on the things where i am successful, so making money, school and arts... and focus on things that makes me forget the pain, mangas, traveling, food...and all my 11037 others hobbies.

The idea is that i explore everything the world had to offer for someone like me. That rather being loved and cherish i should act for all theses peoples burdened by theses relationship for the world, for the future, for the truth via everything i think is fine to have an impact on this earth. But in the end I just can’t deal with that loneliness, i’ve realized that i’m the definition of touch starved and everything that does mean having little to no contact with others humans being that can exist. In the end all the hope i gather just fade.

Thanks for reading me rambling.

Hey Evelyn, I dunno, I don't think that extreme loneliness is a tw kind of thing, but you never know. Hey, you don't have to apologize for being vulgar. We don't exactly have writing requirements for asks, that would just be kinda weird. Again, it's ok, I usually answer asks on the spot because that's when I have most of my ideas flowing. Don't worry, I think I'll be able to get the picture. Do you mean 17 instead of 12? I'm just gonna assume that's a typo. Alright, it's not pathetic. Any pain or issues you experience are not pathetic, ever. If it's causing you stress or pain, then it's not pathetic, it's a valid, legit thing that's going on in your life. I'm honestly glad to hear that you don't have any problems in the socializing/making friends department. So it's sounding like you're getting overwhelmed by the amount of people in your life, and that's completely understandable. I'm a major people pleaser, so I spend way too much of my time and energy trying to cater to way too many people at a time. Is this similar to what you're feeling? Either way, it's ok for you to keep people at a distance. You aren't obligated to get to know them if it's too much for you. Everyone has their limits, and that's ok. Do what's healthiest for you, just be nice if you're talking to them, and know that it doesn't have to go further than that.

Don't beat yourself down for not showing or giving affection in the "right" way. I'm seeing this more and more nowadays, everyone isn't always equipped to handle things the "right" way, and that's not your fault. You can't help how you were educated, that's out of your control. Trust issues are a serious thing, and you're not expected to just get over them. Yeah, it's possible for you to work on them, so I would try working with that a little. Be gentle and take it slow, you can move at your own pace. Don't call yourself dumb either, you're not. There's nothing wrong with being a tsundere, I mean unless you're actually attacking people you're interested in. That right there might be crossing a line, but other than that, I think you're fine.

Ok, it's ok if you don't feel like texting people back, that doesn't have to do with you being a bad person, you're not feeling it and that's ok. "Being left on read" has so many negative connotations with it, but in a lot of cases the person just doesn't have the social or emotional energy to answer. I'd try to answer eventually when you feel up to it, at least within a span of a day at the most, but if you're not feeling it in the moment, that's totally ok. Even if your friends aren't into the same interests you are, you aren't weird. I can understand feeling out of place, but I promise you you and your interests aren't weird. Your friends care about you even if they aren't into the same things you are. I recommend looking online for communities who are into the same things you are to fill that void if you want to, just be safe because the internet is a hellhole. Man anon, this next part sounds just like me. I do the same thing, play the big brother role, I don't open up, I don't wanna be a burden, I don't wanna be seen as weak, I'd rather ear other people's problems and the like. Hell, I've adopted like 20 different internet siblings. I wouldn't say I'm a clown, (hopefully) but I do get the mask thing. It's ok if you don't want to open up, no one's making you. If you feel comfortable doing so, then great! And if not, that's ok too. It's amazing that you're a person who's there to take care of others, but it's ok to worry about yourself too. It sounds ridiculous coming from me, I'm really not practicing what I preach, but if you need to worry about yourself over someone else, that's ok. It's also ok if you don't know how you're feeling.

Emotions are a train wreck, and everyone's trying to figure out what the hell's going on at one time or another. As strange as it sounds, it's a good thing that you're aware of the problems you have. Honestly you're right, it's settled if some of these changes don't happen, but you do have time to change things. It doesn't matter how much time has passed or how old you are, you still have time to work on things. It doesn't matter when you start, it matters that you start. Yeah, being alone isn't always a bad thing, I can totally agree on that. I'm glad you've found success in so many other places, that's amazing and I'm real proud of you. I'm really glad there's some silver lining for you, and you're clearly using it well. I think that it's important to know how to function on your own as well as with people, so you're halfway there in the grand scheme of things! Your idea of exploring the world is noble, I'll give you that, but you deserve to be loved and cherished just like everyone else in the world. It's seriously ok to worry about yourself, it's not selfish and you do deserve it. It's ok, people aren't meant to be alone 24/7, what you're feeling is natural. You're right, you can gather all the hope in the world, but if you don't do anything for yourself, you will fade away. Sorry if that came out a little harsh, but I think you're right on that. Again, you seem super self aware about these kinds of things, and that's real good. You know what needs to happen to make changes, and while I wish I could be the one to guide you through that, I can't. This is stereotypical, but I think you should consider talking to a professional. They would be able to give you a little more guidance and the right support you need, and while it might be uncomfortable to think about, I really think it'll benefit you in the long run, if that makes sense.

Evelyn, you're really not a terrible person. You deserve so much, and I know you don't see that right now, but I'm hoping that some day you will. You're a great person who just needs to learn to extend the same amount of kindness you do to others to yourself. This response is long as hell, and I hope I was able to keep it making sense. It's totally ok if you were rambling, I think I am too. Again, I really hope that this was able to help you out. If you need anything else, feel free to send in another ask ok? You got this, I know it feels impossible and hopeless, but it's not. I know you can do this, all you gotta do now is convince yourself that you can.

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #rantaro amami #mod rantaro

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alo-piss-trancy · 3 years

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Ok hi, I didn't wanna say anything, but please don't write knifeplay/bloodplay for Yuri. I def don't wanna spoil anything, but it's learned on a certain route that Yuri has a s*lf h*rm problem (I'll leave it at that).

You honestly seem like you're not trying to be a jerk with this ask, so I'm going to do my best to answer this as politely as possible without compromising my personal beliefs on the matter. This is going to be long and a little serious, but please note I'm not attacking you or trying to start a debate. I'm just laying all my thoughts on this down at once so I make myself clear, because a short answer would leave a lot of nuance out.

I understand what you're trying to do here. For the record though, I also considered that a pretty massive spoiler and I did not appreciate that at all. Even if you all think you're 'helping', don't do that again. Y/uri was pretty much the only character I'd managed to avoid most spoilers on and you killed the surprise for me. This game is already so full of fluffy 'filler' in the beginning that I don't have a ton of big plot points to look forward to in each route.

Now, I realise this is a very delicate topic and incredibly triggering to some people, especially with those two things combined. I am 100% willing to tag it with just about any variation needed to ensure you or others affected can blacklist/block it and never have to see a word of it in the future. I'd also be happy to go back and tag that original text post I made if needed. I mean that. You all are welcome to ask me to tag things anytime, and so long as you're polite about it I'm perfectly willing to oblige to the best of my ability in future posts! If I occasionally forget, just toss me a light reminder and I'll jump into editing and add it in.

That said, I want to make it clear that I am very firmly against censorship. I'm willing to take all necessary precautions to ensure people can curate their experiences on this blog and AO3, but at the end of the day I can still post whatever fictional stuff I choose to. As can anyone else. Same goes for more formally published media.

Now, it's entirely possible I would have gotten to that part of the game and decided 'oh dang, I'm not so enthused about that fic idea anymore...'. My whims and ideas change frequently, and what you mentioned is a heavy topic with a lot to unpack and process. It's also entirely possible that future plot would only provide more fuel.

Fyi, when I originally mentioned the knifeplay I was actually thinking a lot more along the lines of her doing it to the protagonist, not the reverse. But for the record, if I did choose to write it with focus on Y/uri, I would still be well within my rights to.

This next part of my answer is going to address some heavy topics, this is your warning!!!

Sometimes people's kinks are a way to take a thing that is personally scary or upsetting to them and find a way to reverse it. To find pleasure or power or get used to the idea of the awful thing in a safe, controlled fashion. I'm not going to go into the full details on this because there's plenty of explanation and research elsewhere already written up, as well as an excellent book on the subject, and I'm not turning this blog into a discourse debate. But I needed to mention it for my point.

There are plenty of stories that could be explored with Y/uri in this context. Did she have this kink before the self harm events started and it was completely unrelated, or did she develop it afterwards? How did she discover it beforehand? If developed afterwards, did it start out as another way of harming mixed with pleasure in a self-destructive way, often done sloppily and without proper technique? Or was it strictly used as almost exposure therapy to deal with those urges and thoughts in a safer, more contained scenario, maybe even allowing the partner she trusted to wield the knife to prove their bond/reinforce that she can be loved without being hurt deeply, that she is worthy of affection and trust and loyalty. Maybe this finally helps give Y/uri a tool to embrace her 'weirdness' without harming herself and others. Or, what if she thinks it can be a useful tool and is sure she's ready, but partway through the scene she gets triggered or has flashbacks... how does she deal with it? How does her partner? Can it be overcome with effort, research, and taking things slowly, or does she realize this kink is actually completely off the table for her?

What if she has this kink and is excited to try it, but her partner isn't? How does she take that rejection? Or do her poor social skills mean she skipped negotiation to begin with and attempted it in the middle of a vanilla session? Would her partner freak out or even get mad, or try to swallow their fear and let her do it so they don't hurt/offend her, even at the cost of their own comfort?

This topic also opens a ton of potential plots for darkfic, but I'll refrain from discussing that out of respect for you and others.

So as you can see, there's much more to explore than 'Knife=Hot'. I believe those discussions and ideas are necessary and provide important fuel for thought when explored fictionally, especially since mainstream media doesn't cover a lot of them.

~~~

I feel I should take a second to clarify knifeplay for those who may be unaware. It doesn't always equate to actual cutting/drawing blood. That can be an aspect, but usually only by those far more experienced and, you know, actually into that. A lot of participants don't actually go that far. Mostly, it's either about the physical sensation of the knife touching you at all, or the adrenaline/controlled fear and intimate trust of a partner bringing an object like that so close/teasing you with it.

In fact, it's frequently advised in those circles (especially to newcomers) to use a dull butterknife instead, because it simulates the same feelings of metal on skin/can dig in a little without any real risk of cutting/drawing blood. Even if one chooses to use a different knife, it's still pretty common to dull the blade, or some people even substitute with a closed pair of scissors (combined with the partner blindfolded, you can't really tell it apart from the real thing).

These versions of knifeplay are well controlled and ultimately pretty harmless, so long as both parties know what they're doing and stay alert. And more experienced players with sharper knives are even more cautious/have studied extensively to know where/how deep to go without risking scarring/serious injury.

Remember the golden rules of kink: Safe. Sane. Consensual.

With those in place, it is not nearly the same as self harm. Just as controlled, consensual, well-negotiated BDSM with safewords, respected boundaries and a trusted partner is never in the same league as abuse.

~~~

Now that that's out of the way, back to my point:

There's no perfect representation or narrative for everyone, in any group (be that gender/sexuality/triggered by certain things, etc). Every human being is different, everyone interprets media differently, and everyone takes away different elements from stories.

What one person in a particular group may find cathartic, relateable, or painful but necessary food for thought, another may find completely repulsive, personally hurtful, offensive, something they can't stand to hear. And guess what? Both of those can be true at the same time. One side is not immediately right over the other.

There are queer characters or interpretations of them in fics that I vehemently despise, might even find hurtful or sickening and think 'how can anyone create this, it's insufferable! People in 'my group' aren't like that, it's a horrible representation. I can't relate to it at all!' But you know what? Other people can and do, may find comfort in those exact narratives and experiences, may heal their pain instead of inflicting more. And that's great. It's what they needed or wanted and if I don't like it, I click away and do my best to avoid it.

There are specific tropes and narrative themes I personally cannot get through without being triggered into anxiety attacks or dragged back to bad times and places in my life. Sometimes I see them tackled in ways that are hurtful or seem insensitive to me. But I recognise that for someone else, it's exactly what they needed to see to get through that or come to terms with it, or see a way they wish that thing could play out. I would never dream of telling those people they aren't allowed to enjoy it, OR telling the creator of that piece of media or a tv show 'Hey ummm please don't use this plot because it turns me into a human wreck for a week'. Because it's not remotely my place to do so. They can create whatever they want, they have no responsibility towards me or my well being. A few might be kind enough to include a warning at the beginning of that episode or in the description, but they are in no way required to. It's up to me to curate my experience and try to keep my guard up/research what might have those tropes, and in the rare occasions I get blindsided, yeah, it hurts like hell. I struggle, I might even backslide a bit. But I just have to try my best to deal with it and make a note to be more careful next time. Because you can't control the world around you, not even the online world, and you have absolutely no right to. The only right you have is to protect yourself without infringing on other people's boundaries/rights.

And there's also another important point. There doesn't have to be a big important point or explanation for why a creator creates something, or why consumers can enjoy that creation! If someone wants to create a plotline with all of my triggers used in the most 'insensitive', 'wrong', pointless ways possible, strictly for Entertainment or pure kink material instead of some deep dissection of the issues involved? They can go hog wild!!! They are 100% allowed to do so on this earth, and I can't (and wouldn't want to) do a thing to stop them.

One person can read a kink fic and it hits a very emotional theme for them/they think it explores a deep topic well. Another person can read that same fic and get nothing out of it except their rocks off. Both of those readers are completely equal and 'allowed' to enjoy that fic. Both reasons are completely valid reasons for why the creator was 'allowed' to post/create that fic in the first place. Nobody needs permission, nobody has to answer to anybody except themselves. Period. This extends to any topic, any type of fic.

Yes, even for things I find absolutely abhorrent and insensitive and don't understand/want to read ever. I may resent everything about its existence, but I will defend to death the creator's right to make it exist in the first place.

It only affects me if I let it affect me. If someone's making content I despise or am upset by and can't handle, I can choose to ignore or avoid them, blacklist those tags, I can block them and move on with my day. I can do anything within my own bubble, but the second I consider going into their bubble and saying they can't make that thing, I am in the wrong. Because I'm not respecting their space and rights.

If someone makes cookies with ingredients I'm highly allergic to, pastes the ingredient warnings all over the box where I read them, and I still eat one, would anyone cheer me on for blaming them when I have a reaction? Would anyone think it was remotely okay of me to start calling up every bakery in town and saying they weren't allowed to bake those cookies EVER, because some people somewhere might be allergic?

No. They'd tell me I was crossing the line, because I'm infringing on other people's boundaries and lives. I'm expecting everybody else to take responsibility for something that, while horrible and painful, was my fault for touching.

Now, if someone sets out unlabelled cookies not realizing I'm allergic to something in them, and I eat it and have a reaction, that sucks. It's an awful experience. But is it the baker's fault? As long as they didn't do it maliciously, not really. They can be advised politely to label it in the future, and I can do my best to remember to ask/be more cautious next time I come across something I'm unsure of, but they're still allowed to bake those cookies for themselves and others.

Now, if I deliberately baked cookies with an ingredient that people are very frequently allergic to (ex. peanuts) and set it out in a crowded buffet without a warning label, that's a jerk move. That's intentionally trying to cause harm to others. But simply baking that flavour of cookies still isn't a crime or harmful by itself.

~~~

I'll be honest, I'm running out of steam and I think I've said most of what I have to say, so I'll wrap it up. I want to reiterate that I'm not ripping into you with this long answer, anon! I understand why you sent me what you did and I'm trying not to come off as harsh. I'm happy to go back and tag things and will tag anything else similar in the future!!! But at the end of the day, regardless of whether I personally end up writing that fic or not, or even want to after I get to that plot, I don't agree with telling anyone they can't/shouldn't write it at all. I wanted to try and explain my viewpoint thoroughly, and I hope you can respect that, just as I'll respect and try to accommodate you and other followers. This is the only time I'll really get up on a soapbox like this, and I have no interest in debating these things on my blog further, but it is a topic I've been passionate about all my life so I'm afraid I'm not budging on it.

#bear gets a letter #not omo #tw knives #tw knifeplay #tw cutting #tw self harm #d/dlc spoilers

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anephemeralmind · 4 years

Note

There is a new dm story, the person didn’t want to share screencaps because they promised Armie they wouldn’t do that. But they did post a small one, and it looks real. They also went on to say that Armie had made a huge desicion, that people would be sad about, but it was for the good of his family. They then said that Armie doesn’t like abusive charmie’s who attack his friends and family online, harassing them. It really does seem like charmie is dead and he’s not doing the sequel.

Wait.

You’re telling me, there was a “conversation” where Armie was promised no screencaps were going to be posted, but then the person did post screencaps, and told everyone about what was talked about?

I mean, okay. Sound logic there, Jimmy boy.

IF! And that’s a big if, if this is legit, it’s again like, who the hell cares.

How would not partaking in the sequel be for the good of his family? That makes no sense?

He’s already tied to Timmy and the crazy stans regardless. Also, that is not a thing you can just casually mention to a stranger in an Instagram DM and just expect them not to tell anyone. Or even sell it to the highest bidder, tabloids would PAY for that shit, I mean, just look at all the articles the confirmation of a sequel generated.

If they could get proof of Armie Hammer confiding in a fan about his career path, they would be on that immediately.

There is also the fact that him doing that could literally wreck his entire career, because no one wants to work with someone who spills secrets to randos on the Internet all willy nilly.

Whatever “decision” if there is one, I doubt it’s work related. At most it’d be like, deleting all social media presence and never interacting with anyone ever again. But then again, why not just do that immediately then, why wait? And also what good would that really do his family when Elizabeth is still all over social media with the kids?

As for the abusive charmies part, I thought everyone hated those. Because lbr, who doesn’t hate those??? If you think it’s perfectly okay going around sending hate and abusive messages to people, over a ship, no matter how real you think it is, you have lost your mind.

I really don’t think there’s a single person who actually likes those stans, so I don’t see what’s so wrong about calling them out on their shit. It’s like, just because they ship something you also ship, they’re untouchable? No.

Also doesn’t mean he hates ALL charmie fans, because most of them are not abusive, and just stick to doing their own thing in their own space, like they should.

He’s allowed to be sick and tired of the ~stans, who wouldn’t be? It doesn’t make him a hater, or a bad person.

I don’t really see what the whole hoopla with this thing is, I’m sorry.

#Anonymous

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obsessivedilettante · 4 years

Text

20 in 10: A Drama Retrospective

Since I’ve been all quiet on the drama front this year because of life reasons, I thought it would be fun to go back and pick out 20 of the most memorable dramas of the last decade. Maybe not necessarily the best dramas or even my favorites (although some are!), but two dramas each year that were somehow notable moments in my drama-watching timeline.

2009: Gateway Drugs

Boys over Flowers (KBS)

This is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a good drama. It is not one I think I can ever really rewatch (although I will happily revisit the 2005 Japanese version, and I had a hellava fun time watching the latest Chinese version). But! It was the first kdrama I remember watching, and the first step on the slippery slope of eventually becoming a Drama Addict. I mostly remember it being crazy popular on places like mysoju (RIP), and so I checked it out due to curiosity, and the rest, as they say, is history. Or, should I say, almost paaaaradise!

You’re Beautiful (SBS)

This one I also watched because it became crazy-popular online, and curiosity got the better of me. I really didn’t know much about k-pop prior to dramas, so I had no idea until after this drama that k-pop was more about pretty people in crazy fashion, dancing in syncopation in bizarrely lit rooms, rather than playing instruments. Because it was thanks to this drama that I got my crash-course on k-pop as a phenomenon -- both the fandom side, and the crazy things that artists have to go through to claw their way into the public’s view (nevar 4get the glorious ramen dance). Since Angel was a group that played instruments, and Hongki and Yonghwa were also from groups that played instruments, I assumed that all kpop were groups that played instruments. Oh, sweet summer child...

But it did get me started on my k-pop journey, first falling in love with FT Island and CNBLUE, before falling into the rabbit hole of the other prominent groups of the day. (SNSD! The Wonder Girls! Super Junior! DBSK! SS501! Kara! 2PM! 2AM! Shinee! BEG! Epik High! U-KISS! All the debut groups, like 2NE1, MBLAQ, B2ST, 4Minute, f(x), T-ara, After School... basically 2009 was a magical year in k-pop.)

If I had just watched Boys Over Flowers, I don’t know that I would have become a Drama Addict. But You’re Beautiful pushed me closer to the edge, with the zany humor of the Hong Sisters (and the desire for a pig-bunny of my own!). It would really be Coffee Prince that would push me over the edge, but that aired in 2007 so it doesn’t count for this list. But I had to mention it anyway, because, well, it’s Coffee Prince and where my love for Handsome Oppa began.

2010: More Than Candy

The Woman Who Wants To Marry (MBC)

A lot of the dramas I watched at first had that typical “Candy” character, the poor-but-scrappy girl who would somehow be saved by the guy and become the Cinderella she never knew she wanted to be. So it was a delight when I encountered women who were not only older than high-school-age or early twenties, but in their thirties, with rich full lives! Plus, this was one of my earliest introductions to the concept of the “noona romance” (a concept that I’ve since heartily embraced, of course). I started it primarily because Kim Bum was my favorite of the Flower Boys, but I stuck with it because I fell in love with the women (and I still have a girl-crush on Bu-ki).

Harvest Villa (tvn)

This show is insane. But in the good way, the way that the writer intended, and not in the “are a bunch of monkeys typing this script?” train-wreck way. There was basically no buzz about this show, and I feel like I somehow accidentally stumbled over it, but it was love at first sight. I’ve never forgotten the late hours binging it, being so sucked into the story that I absolutely had to finish it as soon as I could, disappointed that there wasn’t more of it to enjoy when I finally finished, bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived, but satisfied.

I then later gobbled down this writer’s next drama, and her next drama, and the next, until everyone else finally realized thanks to Signal that Kim Eun-hee was as amazing a writer as I kept insisting to anyone who would listen (aka no one).

2011: To Binge or Not To Binge?

White Christmas (KBS)

I did not watch White Christmas in 2011. I actually watched it in 2013. I was always a steadfast binger, preferring to wait until the buzz about a show would sway me into spending my precious free-time watching something that would be worth my while (not that my drama choices were always good, but at least I tried to avoid the duds). I still prefer to binge, since waiting weeks for new episodes is vaguely frustrating when I want to know what happens next, right now! Plus, I’m very good at forgetting that I’m watching a show in the week-long wait for new episodes, and then just... never picking it back up again.

Despite watching White Christmas a couple years after it aired, it remains one of my favorites, and one I love to rewatch, even though I’ve already experienced whodunnit cliff-hangers and psychological rollercoasters. It became a tradition of sorts here on tumblr for a bunch of us to rewatch it over the holiday season -- alas, I haven’t joined in that tradition for the past couple of years, but I hope that somewhere in this blue hell hole that there are a loyal few keeping the tradition alive.

At least we have this drama to thank for bringing us all the model-actors that were new and clueless in White Christmas, but would later go on to be leading men in their own right. Of course, some of them haven’t exactly made the best drama choices (*cough*SungJoon*cough*), but then there are others (*cough*SooHyuk*cough*) that I’m impatiently waiting for to pick up a new drama so I can see those post-army abs.

Tree With Deep Roots (SBS)

This is the first drama that I recall live-watching. I vaguely remember regretting it at the time, since it was agony waiting for new episodes, but it was also fun to have a week to speculate and ponder the show. And what a beautiful show to ponder! This was also one of the few sageuks I actually watched, being generally intimidated by anything longer than 16-20 episodes, and my historical knowledge was a little shaky (before embracing my inner nerd and diving into mundane historical stuff just so I could better understand whatever drama I was watching at the time).

I don’t think I intended to continue live-watching shows, preferring the ease of binging at my own pace and schedule. But that was when I was still a casual, innocent addict, and not someone who would eventually make dramas a huge part of her life.

2012: The Joy of Overthinking

Gaksital (KBS)

Having had a taste of live-watching, I started to live-watch enough dramas to the point where I began to make notes about the premiere weeks. It was only a couple at a time, and binging was still my preferred way to watch, but now I was delighting in being part of the fandom, sharing in speculation each week, posting my thoughts on dramas and analyzing them to my heart’s content -- even though I knew no one except me would read my ridiculous essays.

But I started to feel more comfortable sharing my opinion with the world, interacting with fandom and not merely content to be a consumer, but gradually becoming a producer as well.

Reply 1997 (tvN)

This is it. This is when I went full-on Drama Addict. This is the tipping point from casual fan who quietly kept to herself, to becoming someone who stood on the mountain top yelling about ALL THE DRAMAS ALL THE TIME. I began to interact with other fans! To swap theories and share squee-worthy moments! I even watched episodes RAW just because of how desperate I was to know what happened, and even though the Busan accent stumped me more than once, it made me realize that my casual study of Korean was something to take seriously since I understood more than I gave myself credit for.

It was also the first time any post I made got more than a handful of notes, since I’d mostly hovered in the “less than 10 notes per post” category at the time. I was so proud of myself back then!

(This drama also notably marks the start of my Hoya obsession, which continues to this day.)

2013: Tumblr Friends (and Foes)

Flower Boy Next Door (tvN)

Having made myself comfortable on tumblr as a Drama Addict, I then discovered some other dedicated fans -- many of which I still follow to this day and who are now just a permanent part of my dash, no matter what their current interests may be -- in the FBND squad.

But I also discovered Kim Seul-gi as the Webtoon Editor (who I still love and adore and continue to use as my avatar), and her adorable romance with Dong-hoon remains one of my forever OTPs. As much as I enjoyed the drama romances, I’d never fallen so deeply for one to be so obsessed by it as I was Webtoon Editor and Dong-hoon. And tbh I still am. They’re just so adorable and pragmatic and she buys him a bag. Ugh. I love her so much, you guys.

Heirs (SBS)

Ah, yes. This hot mess.

I don’t know what possessed me to live-blog each episode. But I did. With snarky commentary and terrible screencaps. And suddenly I went from maybe 200 followers to over a 1000. That was a total shock! I met a lot of people because of that (and made some friends, as well as a few enemies who didn’t appreciate my opinion of certain characters), and ensconced myself as part of the drama-blogging crew.

It was from this that someone suggested I apply to be a minion at Dramabeans. Back then, I had a lot more free time than I do now, and I was watching a lot of dramas that Dramabeans didn’t cover, and wished they did so I could read more opinions about those shows. So I thought, “Eh, why not? It can’t hurt to submit something because the worst that would happen is I’d waste their time making them read my take on episode 10 of Let’s Eat.”

I fully expected them to turn me down. No one was more surprised than I was when I found myself agreeing to dive into the world of recapping.

2014: It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

Trot Lovers (KBS)

Recapping. It seems so easy when you’re reading the recaps. But actually creating them is a bitch. Hours out of my life were spent on this disaster of a trope-laden show with no plot. This was the third show I worked on for Dramabeans, and I hated it to the point where I seriously considered handing in my notice. (Immediately following up this show with the mediocre My Secret Hotel certainly didn’t help matters!)

However, it turns out that what I actually hated was being forced to watch a terrible rom-com and pretend to come up with insightful-or-at-least-neutral thoughts about it (since we were still new and couldn’t go full-on snark yet).

Misaeng (tvN)

This is what saved me. Being given the chance to immerse myself in such a unique, ponderous, thoughtful show restored my faith in dramas and the drama community. I loved spending hours on this show, soaking up all the little details, and then sharing that love with the world.

Misaeng made dramas magical again.

2015: Fight Me

Valid Love (tvN)

Realizing that I only seemed to enjoy rom-coms at arm-length, I discovered that my tastes often ran counter to the general drama-viewing public. Not all the drama-viewing public -- I’m not a “not like other fans” kind of fan -- but enough that I began to realize the whether a drama was popular or had good buzz was not necessarily the primary reason to watch it.

I began to have more faith in my own taste, based on past experiences with various writers and directors. Even if the premise (or first couple of episodes) seemed kind of weird and out-there, I at least wanted to give these artists the benefit of the doubt that I would enjoy their work, like I had previously.

So many people seemed to hate Valid Love, but I adored it. Still do (and still desperately wish Kim Do-woo would come out with a new drama -- it has been too long, writer-nim!). There were a lot of opinions about this show, even among people who seemed to enjoy it, but I vividly recall having to repeatedly insist that it wasn’t about the romance and argue that the knee-jerk infidelity-is-BAD opinions should make space for something more nuanced.

Ho-gu’s Love (tvN)

DramaFever was a pretty great site. It brought together so many drama fans and gave them a place where they could legally (and without fear of downloading random viruses) watch dramas to their heart’s content. Yes, there may have been some lingering resentment that they were the primary reason that so many amazing other sites were shut down (RIP mysoju and daebaeksubs), but dramas were more accessible than ever!

Eventually, DramaFever started to sub shows themselves and upload them weekly (instead of just using fansubs and uploading older dramas), and while they weren’t the best translations, they were at least better than machine translations from the Chinese subs. As I became more and more familiar with Korean, I found myself more likely to migrate to Viki since I liked the extra detailed translations. I could get the gist of a show without any help -- I wanted to instead delve into the nitty-gritty of the language.

But I never really hated DramaFever or felt they were particularly awful. Until they mistranslated something so terribly that it changed the entire meaning of a scene and ruined people’s perception of a drama, forcing me to continually defend the true translation.

That was the molehill I died on that day, and never again did I touch DramaFever. I feel bad that it eventually got unceremoniously shuttered. But I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them for the “condom” incident.

2016: Free Solo

Dear My Friends (tvN)

For two years I’d been happily working on one episode a week, sharing a show with someone else, until I was asked if I’d like to tackle a show by myself. I wasn’t sure how I could handle it, but I had the time in my schedule so I said, “Sure, why not?”

I was originally going to recap Another Oh Hae-young, but there was a last-minute switcheroo, and I’m so incredibly glad because this is perhaps my favorite recapping experience of all time, even more so than Misaeng. There was something so special about the luxury of having an entire show to myself, especially one with such a fantastic cast of characters and thoughtful themes. I didn’t have to try and figure out if I agreed with another person’s take -- it could all be my opinion.

Is that arrogant? Perhaps. But it was also therapeutic, as it reminded me once again how incredible and amazing dramas could be, and the privilege I had to share such an exquisite and thought-provoking drama with the rest of the world.

The Good Wife (tvN)

Surprisingly, this was what I had really wanted to recap that year, and the true reason I got Dear My Friends, since it aired just prior in the same time-slot as The Good Wife. I was desperate to have this show, willing to do anything to get it because I needed to see Jeon Do-yeon back on the small screen, to see Yoo Ji-tae smolder, to know how Korea would adapt such an ambitious show.

And I wasn’t disappointed! This is, perhaps, my favorite adaption of another work of art that I’ve seen in dramaland. It remained true to Korean sensibilities, but it also properly felt like The Good Wife. The cast was phenomenal. The costumes were exquisite. I wished I could spend more time in that world.

But I was also thankful, because without The Good Wife, I would have never have had Dear My Friends.

2017: Serial-Killers Are Cool

Voice (OCN)

I can’t remember how I got assigned to this. Maybe it was a scheduling thing. I do know that I really, really wanted it, since it would be Handsome Oppa’s first drama appearance in three years.

But it started me down a road of recapping a lot of serious and serial-killer-centric shows. Except for the times when I’d beg for a break and tackle something lighter, I was generally assigned the darker mystery shows with meaty plots, since apparently I had a knack for condensing complicated shows into something that made sense. (Also literally darker, and I eventually learned to automatically brighten every screencap I posted. You’re welcome.)

Not only did I love working on something with Handsome Oppa, I also had fun recapping the start of what would eventually become OCN’s stock-in-trade -- creepy serial killers. At the time, Voice shattered OCN’s viewer ratings (which would then be shattered again and again as more people would tune in to OCN shows). But Voice really helped put OCN on the viewership map -- as well as catapult Handsome Oppa into the public eye and lead him to a path of getting to choose whatever script he wanted to work on.

(Okay, maybe I made that last bit up, but he did begin to garner a larger following and remind everyone that just because he was gone from dramaland for so long, he hadn’t lost his acting chops -- or charisma -- or cheekbones.)

Black (OCN)

Oh, this show. It was basically my whole life while it was airing (well, the non-day-job part of my life). Each episode was over an hour long and jam-packed full of details that were pertinent to the story, and I had to somehow condense that all into 3000 words or less (I was not always, ah, successful...). It felt like I was back in recapping bootcamp, but the dial had been turned up to 11.

I’m weirdly proud of what I produced (although you’ll never get me to reread my old work). It was one of the most challenging shows to work on, but in the good way, not the Trot Lovers way.

Until the ending, that is. Sigh. That ending will live in infamy. I still, to this day, will get a few comments on the finale from people who watched it on Netflix, went searching online for an explanation of the end, and then discovered that they were not alone in being confused by the utter wtf-ery of the last twenty minutes.

2018: Fighting For My Love

Misty (JTBC)

So, Dramabeans kind of disappeared for a few months. Well, the site was still live. There were a handful of recaps. But... it basically just... stopped.

Those of us on the other side know about as you do as to why that happened. Minions are kept in the dark just as much as anybody, it seems. All we knew is that we weren’t being assigned anything and we seriously wondered if the site was going under, since adsense has become worthless these days.

But Mary and I kept talking about how much we adored Misty and were sad that we couldn’t talk about it with the world (and convince them to watch it with us), so we pleaded and begged and got the go-ahead to do a kind of chatty “open thread” which has apparently been a spring-board format for other shows. We didn’t get paid for this, and we were totally fine with that. We just wanted to provide some kind of content (while swooning over Kim Nam-joo’s pantsuits!).

Let’s Eat 3 (tvN)

This was my first real assignment after the dead period, and I once again got to do full recaps (with pay!). I started watching, thinking I’d merely tolerate the show (since I loved the first season vastly more than the second season), but it turned out to be my favorite of the three. Plus it felt fortuitous that the series I had submitted my application would be a series I’d work on four years later.

Sometimes it’s nice to spend time with a character you met years ago, to see them grow, to see how they became what they became. Drama trends (and love interests) will come and go, but Goo Dae-young’s love of food (and love of explaining the proper way to eat food) will never change. It was a really comforting drama for me to spend my summer on, and I’ll remember it fondly, even if I’m forever sad that it had to suddenly wrap-up two episodes early.

2019: Ten Years Later

Item (MBC)

This was the Trot Lovers of 2019. It was a nonsensical disaster.

I also had the added chaos of my real-life job -- one very different from the one I had when I was working on Trot Lovers -- as it began to increase exponentially in responsibilities and in stress. I reached a breaking point where I began to hate opening my computer where I’d have to spend hours attempting to explain a show that I wanted nothing to do with. I was miserable and depressed and couldn’t do it anymore. I never before asked to be taken off a show because I hated it so much, but there’s a first for everything.

Her Private Life (tvN)

I actually haven’t finished this show -- I’ve yet to watch the last two episodes. But I’m including it because, well, I didn’t finish any other show in 2019 except for Item.

As some of you may know, this has been a difficult year. It started with the unexpected stress of my job, when we suddenly lost one of our directors who passed away, and another director was let go (in a complicated situation that is ongoing, but the important thing is that it was during our busiest time when we really couldn’t afford to lose anyone), and another director left for a different job and I was basically the one to pick up all the pieces she left behind. It was exhausting and we were all past the breaking point but somehow miraculously holding it together.

I was looking forward to finally getting a much-needed vacation in September, and then, well, you all know how that went: the first night, on our layover in New Zealand before what was supposed to be three weeks in Australia, my father was taken to the hospital, and then, two days later, he passed away. Life has gotten even more chaotic and stressful and bizarre since then.

So no, I haven’t finished this drama, but it was one of the most wonderful moments of the year for me, watching this fizzy rom-com with my favorite actor, where he got to be charming and handsome and charismatic and finally kiss the girl he loves and have her love him back (and not die or be dumped, as he had been in so many dramas that had gone before). Lion Oppa was everything my heart could desire, and living in his world helped me endure the insanity that I wish I’d known would seem so much more tolerable than what would eventually befall.

Her Private Life reminded me of when I first fell in love with dramas ten years ago, when I would giggle and be delighted by the charming nonsense on screen -- of beautiful people falling in love and fighting against the obstacles between them (some more ridiculous than others, perhaps, but there are always obstacles), and ending up happily ever after. Pure escapism, of the frothiest kind.

A Drama-filled Decade

So, after ten years of dramas, what is the takeaway? What have I learned?

I suppose I’ve learned to trust my instincts and put more faith in writers and directors than actors. That analyzing dramas is fun, and it’s even more fun sharing it with others, and sometimes even more fun if you get paid to do it -- but everyone eventually reaches a breaking point. That I’m too earnest and optimistic to embrace a life of snark. That I want every drama to be good but most of them aren’t, except sometimes they are. That I’m not even sure which genres are my favorite; I just know what I don’t like.

That dramas are best as escapism, and not as work.

I don’t know how many dramas I’ll watch in 2020. I haven’t paid any attention to what’s airing, and I’m okay with that. Perhaps I’m entering a new phase in my life, or perhaps I just don’t have the capacity to escape right now.

But I am pleased to have had dramas in my life, and to have eventually made them my hobby. I’ve met a lot of amazing people and made some genuine friends through a shared love of dramas (or, at times, a shared hatred). I’m honored that all of you are still here and following me, even during this period of fandom silence.

May 2020 treat us all better, and may Kim Do-woo finally write another script.

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