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atinystraynstay · 6 months

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Life Goes On - Park Jimin

Synopsis: It was finally happening. Jimin would be leaving for the military in a few weeks. The boys have worked hard to make the enlistment process seamless for themselves and the fans, but that doesn't mean you are ready.

Pairing: idol! Park Jimin x reader Genre: Flufffffff Word Count: 2.1k Note: BTS was the first k-pop group I got into, all thanks to a college friend who was obsessed at the time. I still remember her sending me Spring Day as a recommend and listening to it on repeat all winter break. They were a huge source of happiness, especially during the pandemic. Watching each member go has been tough, but I am excited for the day that OT7 is back in 2025. 💜

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It was a calm Friday night. Probably the last Friday night we would get like this. The world outside had a particular stillness to it, almost as if nobody else existed besides us.

The only source of light in the living room came from the fairy lights strung around the apartment. I had suggested to Jimin that we decorate our shared space early seeing as he would soon be joining his six friends, his six brothers in military service. We weren't sure how much more time we would have together, so we wanted to create joyful holiday memories before the rush of preparing for enlistment fully began. I wanted to give Jimin a chance to enjoy the holiday season with friends and family before the goodbyes start.

We were laying on our couch. Our bodies were positioned so Jimin's back rested against the arm of the couch, my body resting against his back and sitting in between his legs. His right hand rested gently on my hip, running up and down lazily. His touch left me feeling hypnotized like I was putty in his hands. A dark green blanket was draped over our bodies, keeping us warm. Some holiday movie was playing in the background, but I was not even paying attention. Hence the popcorn bowl was only half empty. I was trying my best to savor the feeling of being this close to Jimin, what it was like to feel his body warmth against mine, to feel his presence next to me.

A soft ding brought me back to reality. I glanced over to my right, away from the TV, when I saw Jimin raise his cellphone with his left hand. I instantly recognized the app responsible for the notification. Weverse.

"It's posted," Jimin whispered. I could sense his body trying to sit up a bit straighter. I followed suit, allowing him to adjust his posture before gently leaning against him again. He had moved his phone so it was in front of the both of us. His phone was already unlocked due to his camera recognizing his face. The notification push is already open for the two of us to read.

I could feel my heart sink a bit. I knew this was coming. We already talked about it. Why was I so nervous?

Hello. This is BIGHIT MUSIC.

We would like to inform our fans that RM, Jimin, V, and Jung Kook have initiated the military enlistment process.

All of us have been aware of the plan for a while. There have been numerous, lengthy conversations since 2020 about what would happen, what life would be like, what the boys wanted for themselves before and after enlistment, and everything in between. The protocol all the boys would follow made sense. Jin was going to go first, seeing as he was the oldest and had the shortest amount of time. J-Hope decided that he would go second, just wanting to get it over with to get back on stage sooner. Yoongi would go third, seeing as his military service would be the longest period as a civil servant. He wanted to stay on track with rejoining the group in 2025. The other four wanted to go in together, to be able to support each other and say goodbye rather than leaving one person left behind. Three years ago, the plan seemed like it was so far away. But the plan was now in action and the rest of the world knew it.

The boys have been able to pursue projects they had only dreamed of. They had gotten the chance of a lifetime to take control and make decisions for each of themselves. And I was beyond proud of them all, especially Jimin. It was just now happening too quickly for my liking. I felt like I was losing time now.

What was my plan? What was I going to do? 18 months without Jimin, without my source of happiness and laughter in this sometimes dark world. Everyone seemed to know what they were meant to do, but what about me? "Babe? Y/n?"

I blinked a couple of times after registering that Jimin was calling out to me. I looked down to see the phone had been removed from in front of me, now sitting next to the popcorn bowl on the coffee table. I felt a hand cradle my cheek, turning it gently to the side until I met those deep brown eyes. I tried offering a light smile but knew that it was all an act. My glossy eyes a dead giveaway.

"Angel, what's going on in your mind? Talk to me." "I don't want you to go. Like I know you have to. We've talked about it basically over the last three years, but that doesn't mean I want you to go."

Jimin frowned. I felt him gently push on my body, indicating he wanted me to shift. My frown deepened as I turned to sit forward, my legs hitting the wooden floor. Shivers shot up my spine from the contact with the cold floor. Jimin remained sitting in the same position, his body against the corner and arm of the couch. However, this time, his hands were extended towards me. I shifted my body slightly, to face him, but also slipped my hands into his. His warm touch. That brought a smile at my gesture. He slipped his fingers in between mine before giving my hand three tiny squeezes, our little way of saying 'I love you' without having to verbally say it. It worked in situations where we were out in public, unable to hear each other, or for times like this when speaking might be too difficult.

"I don't want to go either, baby. I really don't. The thought of leaving you for a short while pains me, but it's something that has to be done."

I nodded my head, listening to his words. I didn't even realize at this point that a few tears had slipped down my cheeks.

"18 months just seems like such a long time. So much can happen in a year and a half." "And I look forward to hearing about every single moment, every second when I see you again. Or if it is something you absolutely cannot wait to tell me, you know you can write me a letter. I always loved your handwriting."

His thumb gently caressed the back of my hand. My eyes were trained down at our interlocked hands. I watched the way his thumb gently moved across my knuckles. Three tiny squeezes.

"And you won't be completely alone, you know."

I picked my head up, turning it slightly. What was he talking about? His eyes widened in return to my expression. "You didn't think I came up with a plan for us?"

"We never talked about it, Jimin. We always talked about what you and the boys needed and wanted before and after enlistment. That was the sole focus."

"But you're my focus," he whispered. He leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to my cheek, a lingering kiss. My head naturally tilted towards his lips, one more tear falling as I just soaked in the moment. Who knows how many more kisses I would be able to receive from Jimin. Now that the world knew of his intention to enlist, we were waiting anxiously for the report-for-duty date. "Stay right there."

Jimin slowly leaned away from me. He then slowly detached himself before he got up and started walking in the direction of the Christmas tree. In a few weeks, we had planned to throw a Christmas party not just for us, but for RM, V, and Jungkook to celebrate one last holiday season before leaving us for a little bit. The tree would soon be lined up with gifts for each of the boys and from them. Jimin glanced back towards me, winking which caused me to giggle a bit. He soon tucked himself between the wall and the tree to retrieve something from the back. What was he up to?

I wiped my tears, not wanting to bring any more somber energy into our evening. While yes I was sad about having to depart from my beloved for a bit, tonight and the days to come were about making Jimin feel comfortable. It was tearing him apart inside at the possibility of missing important family time.

Soon, Jimin reemerged with a white bag that had red ribbons holding it together. He held the gift bag in one hand before coming back to sit right beside me. His free hand wrapped around my shoulders, placing the gift bag right in my lap. "No such thing as an early present. Merry Christmas, my love," he whispered. His lips pressed into the side of my head.

My eyes widened in surprised as I took the gift bag into both of my hands. Using my left hand to stabilize it, my right hand began to take out the tissue paper. It was white, matching the exterior of the bag, but had gold mixed into it. The tissue paper was discarded onto the floor by our feet. Inside was a brown book with black pages. Black pages? How was I supposed to read that?

Very carefully, I took the book out of the bag. I set the bag beside me to place the book in my lap. On the front was a brown cover with a star cutout. I assume you can place a photo that you like in the front. The book was closed due to black straps of leather that were tied into a bow. I slowly undid the bow, freeing the pages of the book to be flipped. The book wasn't a traditional book. The pages opened like an accordion.

I placed the cover by the one end of the coffee table, seeing it stretch all the way to the other end. "Jimin, what is this?" I asked softly. The pages were currently blank.

I heard that heavenly laughter behind me. Soon, arms were wrapped around my stomach and pulled me back in. My hands gently rested on top of his arms, his chin resting on my shoulder. "It's a photo album. It's not just for you, it's for us. You can fill it with whatever you want as a way to keep me in the loop on all the adventures you'll have while I'm away. I want to be present in your life as much as possible. I know I won't get much time to be here physically, but I figured this would be the next best thing. You can take photos of yourself, what you see, put in flowers that you want pressed - whatever you want to show me when I get back. And then, when I come home, we'll sit right here on the couch and look through it all." His lips pressed against my shoulder as I stared at the photo album.

"And then, of course, my parents will always welcome you in with open arms. I'm convinced they get more excited about having you visit than they do with me," he laughed. "So if you feel the urge to be around family, my family is ready to step up to the plate. Or even if you want them to come visit you, they are more than happy to do so."

"It's just going to be so weird without any of you guys around here," I sighed. "Well, don't worry. Jin is going to be back soon, so you won't be too lonely for long. I know he'll make sure you are fed, you are happy, and you won't have a moment of silence again until I arrive home."

Staying in Jimin's arms, I smiled brightly. "You really have thought of everything, huh?"

Jimin nodded proudly. His arms gave me a gentle squeeze before reconnecting his lips to my cheek. "I tried to! I know life is going to go on while I'm away. And I want you to be able to live it all. You can do that for me, right?"

This time, I nodded my head before turning my head to press my forehead gently against his. "Of course. I'll take all the photos in the world and be waiting for you to come home," I whispered to him. He seemed satisfied with my response as he soon pressed his lips gently against mine. I melted into his warm embrace.

I have a plan now.

#jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin x y/n #jimin #park jimin #bts jimin #jiminie #bts #bts army #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bangtan #kpop #jimin bts #fanfic

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a-dinosaur-a-day · 1 year

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Noticed that none of the widely known Dino’s aren’t in the competetion…..which is honestly good cause the trex would have absolutely swept

So actually this is our 6th dinosaur march madness! (5th, technically, anyway). We've been doing this for ages, ever since I got inspired by a similar thing on twitter (mammals, not dinosaurs)!

Year one was way back in 2016 - we used to use google polls to run the competition! We had people narrow down their fave dinosaurs by general group (ie ones closely related to each other) and then duked it out. Believe it or not, T. rex didn't make it into the first year! That'll remain wild for me, but Yutyrannus was the tyrannosaur. Ultimately, the Common Raven won, which makes a significant amount of sense for tumblr

Year two (2017) we only allowed in contestants that hadn't made the bracket the year before - this was a weird year, because Maiasaura won, and I s2g, I don't think it should have, I think people just voted for it because it's my (Meig, the main ADAD guy) favorite dinosaur. What can ya do...

Year three (2018) we only allowed in things that hadn't been in EITHER bracket EITHER year - this allowed for a lot of weirdos to show up, and the ultimate winner was Halszkaraptor, the first known goose-raptor-thing (like Natovenator this year)!

Year four (2019) - DMM Allstars! It was a bunch of competitors that had made it into the bracket the other three years, but didn't win outright. Amargasaurus won that year! It's a close cousin of Bajadasaurus in this year's bracket

Year five (2020 - note all the prep happens BEFORE March...) we switched it up and did Triassic March Madness - not technically dinosaurs, just a bunch of really weird critters from one of the weirdest times in Earth's history - Postosuchus won though, even though its not that weird, because the art made it look like a puppy. What can ya do.

Then we took a break because I was starting grad school again, moving across the country, bunch of the rest of the team also doing literally the same two things to whatever extent it applied to them, and also that whole pandemic thing

And now we have DMM: Rising Stars, where we take the opportunity to highlight dinosaurs that had come out since the last competition new ones would have showed up in (2018) - hence its a bunch of dinosaurs y'all haven't heard of! What a great opportunity to share new science and make DMM even more interesting!

Plus it gave me and @albertonykus more opportunities to brag about the birds (Anachronornis and Asteriornis respectively) we've named during that same time period XD

We want to do Permian Madness eventually like we did Triassic, because the Permian is also super weird. Another year we might do Fossil Birds, because often the birds that got voted in those first four years were living species and a lot of fossil birds haven't had their time in the spotlight in my very biased fossil-bird-researcher opinion. We have a lot of ideas, and frankly the excitement that is not having to use a third party (google) with the addition of tumblr polls means prehistory-march-madness will continue for a while!

#its just really funny so many people have joined DMM rising stars with absolutely none of this backstory known to them #dmm: rising stars #dmm #dinosaur march madness #dinosaurs #palaeoblr #birds #birblr

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ghosts-and-entropy · 10 months

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Things Don't Stay Forever

DC x DP prompt. Or story? Story, I think, cause I plan to add more chapters. Idk, I'm building this world as we go along. It's my side project to keep writing. But you can take it and roll with it too :D.

But for a prompt: Lex Luthor created a virus to "combat and destroy other viruses and diseases in the human body." This is in quotes because he placed it under this description himself. In truth, the virus is supposed to destroy metahuman abilities. (This actually happened in the comics) But the virus didn't work as he wanted it. Something happens, still working on this part, where the virus is leaked into the air and causes a global pandemic.

That's right people, this is an Apocalypse AU!

It is eventually going to be Dead on Main or JasonxDanny cause I love that ship. But it's going to be very slow going.

Anyway, enjoy the first chapter!

Chapter 1: And that’s when I realize that, in the end, we’d all wish for the same thing. Just a little more time.

Danny remembered when it started.

The minuscule, barely noticeable at the time, change in the world that jumpstarted the end.

A news report on the WGN9 station at ten at night.

He remembers it was January. He had been out hours before, keeping an eye on Amity and her dead, and her living. It had been snowing that night. Cold and windy, the cool air had felt good on his skin and in his core. He had flown for two long hours around Amity relishing in the dark and quiet before making his way home.

He remembers sitting on the living room couch, dozing and alone after a long day of schoolwork, ghostly activities, and dealing with the imminent problem of his future.

He remembers closing his eyes, his arms resting against his stomach, rising with his breaths. He hardly listened to the words of the newscaster talking. Her words had been so distant and muted, his thoughts the complete opposite, almost blaring and intrusive.

He remembers wondering, through the anxiety-ridden whispers in his head, where his mom and dad were. If they were in the house or if they were out again, hunting. It was late. It was snowing. But they always stood up late through any type of weather. Catching ghosts at night was easier than during the day. He made sure before heading home the ghosts kept their heads down for the night in case his parents were out.

He hadn’t seen them when he was flying though. They had probably been in the basement then.

He remembers the throw blanket under his head, resting on the back of the couch. How it still smelled like Jazz’s perfume even when she hadn’t been home for months, away at college. His eyes had stung and watered under his eyelids and he fought to keep the tears where they were.

He remembers it was cold in the house. It was always hard to tell if it was because his dad ran hot so the temperature had been lowered, the ghost portal opened in the basement, all the ambient ectoplasm in the house, or if it was him, or maybe all four options.

But what he remembers the most about that night was the moon. Bright and full, shining in through the living room window, helping to illuminate the space and him alongside the TV screen. Offering a kind of silent comfort he never took for granted.

He remembers that the most because it was the first thing he saw after snapping open his bleary eyes when he heard it. The thing that set off a warning in his head. The name of the man who would later help realize the end. His gaze quickly shifted to the screen to see the newscaster, Tiffany Snow, begin her news report.

“Billionaire and CEO of LexCorp, Lex Luthor, has recently announced a scientific breakthrough his company has been working on for years. Sources say Luthor has hired some of the greatest scientific minds in the 21st century onto this project that will, quote, “change the world.”

A project that would change the world. One they have spent years working on.

And suddenly, everything went silent.

A recorded scene of Lex Luthor shaking hands with delegates from multiple countries played out on screen. Luthor looked pleased. Behind him, a line of scientists in lab coats stood, looking blank or grim. The delegates standing next to Luthor grinned and clasped hands with one another, and flashes of camera light flooded the conference room they stood in.

Danny remembers slowly sitting up, his eyes, red-rimmed and tired, staring at Lex Luthor, right into his eyes. His face was instantly frozen on the screen staring right back with dark eyes. His hands still clasped in another’s, a small smirk rested on his face but he didn’t move. Time had simply stopped.

Still. So very still. Danny hardly moved or breathed. Just stared into the billionaire’s eyes like he could foresee the future and all its mistakes. Silence had reigned around him. Only the frantic whispers of a warning rushed into his head like static. He couldn’t understand them, there was too much, too many voices talking at once. Building and building louder and louder until—

And then it was over.

Tiffany Snow was gone. Lex Luthor and all his scientists behind him were gone too. A commercial for life insurance played on, the narrator’s voice booming after long seconds of utter silence and static. Danny remembered flinching and rubbing his eyes, taking deep breaths because what the hell had that been?

What was that?

He’d never felt anything like that before. It felt like…an omen. A premonition? He’s never had premonitions before. So what…?

He remembers thinking maybe he had been tired. Danny had been running himself ragged for days, for months. Maybe it was time for him to go to bed. Finally, rest after a long couple of months.

It had to just be sleep deprivation, that was all. It didn’t feel that way.

He remembers turning off the TV. He stood up, draping the blanket that had been resting on the couch over his head and shoulders, wrapped and held in one hand like a childish comfort in front of his nose. Remembers walking up the stairs to his bedroom in the dark, the only light in the whole house coming from the moon.

He remembers lying down and staring at his glow-in-the-dark star-covered ceiling. Small and colorful blob ghosts darted up and down through them. They were quiet and playful with one another. He counted them like sheep, over and over.

He fell asleep later that night, hours later because he couldn’t get what had happened out of his head. Remembers the sinking feeling following him the next day and the next. Watching out for the news every night after for more reports on Lex Luthor or LexCorp or this thing that was going to change the world. He had asked Tucker to put an alert on his Blackberry for those two keywords for any articles that popped up online.

Because something was wrong or was going to be wrong. That eerie feeling on the back of his neck down to his queasy stomach had left him sick and paranoid for months after. It was the reason he had been so overprotective of his family, his friends, and his hometown both as Fenton and Phantom for months.

That deep knowledge of Death being near. The End of all things. Not the afterlife. Not all the ghosts, spirits, shades, and other indefinite things that walked the Earth but actual Death. As if the shadow of it eclipsed the planet and the sun couldn’t shine through.

He remembers being seventeen and not worried, not concerned, but absolutely terrified and sure that something was coming.

And then it was July. A day after his eighteenth birthday. One month after his high school graduation. One month before college, although, that was never in the plan to begin with if he was being honest.

But it was July. One day in and the world was dying. Just like he felt it would.

Because Danny remembered when it started.

But long before the outbreak ever occurred. When there were just small hints of something to come—nothing damning, nothing for sure—Lex Luthor was working on something groundbreaking. But no news of it ever hit the media after that first initial report. The one that made him anxious.

Although, now that he has some time to reflect on it, he realizes maybe he hadn’t been the only one either. There may have been others who caught those signs too.

He ponders this as he watches clips of Wonder Woman, usually tall and confident, grim face and small, as she helped care for the dying in India. The Flash sped toward hospitals all across Europe carrying supplies of medicine and food.

Superman, powerful and usually bigger than life, hovering over a burning village in Vietnam, his face dazed and shocked at the destruction below him. Like it was his first time seeing such a thing.

And then there was Batman’s Knights. Small snippets of gloved and cape-covered Bats ran and jumped through Lady Gotham’s large skyscrapers and high-rises, carrying items that shaky cameras couldn’t capture.

Gotham had been in quarantine days before the outbreak. Metropolis too. Countries were warned three days in advance. Every country around the world began to plan and lock down before the first wave could hit. They weren’t given enough time.

Israel built fences and walls around itself. So did China and Egypt. Canada had cut off their roads and airspace, as did many countries after them, including the U.S. Europe closed down its borders. Mexico refused to let anyone into the country. Africa’s CDC convened to plan their next steps for lockdown amongst all African nations.

Chicago shut down both their airports. Jazz hadn’t been able to get a flight back to Illinois. Then all the airports started shutting down, quicker and quicker, one by one, before she could even look for a ticket out of California.

And the other cities, the other countries—not all of them closed down in time. Not all of them had superheroes living in their cities to help them. The superheroes that were on Earth were stretched thin around the globe helping out.

Not all of them had the means to control the masses through a global pandemic.

Amity Park, on the other hand, was quick to close down their roads weeks before Gotham and Metropolis did. Phantom made sure of that.

And the fact Vlad didn’t argue with him spoke volumes about the information he was hoarding too.

Yeah, there had been others who knew.

Did they even try to stop it?

Was there anything he could have done?

Clockwork comes to mind and Danny has to suddenly stop himself from running down the basement stairs toward the portal below just to ask him if he knew. He hasn’t spoken to him in weeks. Not since their last conversation when he confided in Clockwork about his fears.

His hands clench and Danny lets out a soft growl. Of course, he knows. He always knows.

Ancients, he’s always known.

But he hadn’t said anything. Not when Danny asked. Not when Danny told him something was wrong. He hadn’t uttered a word. And he had looked fine. His usual self, nothing seemed out of place. So why hadn’t he said anything to Danny?

Well, he couldn’t, could he? The future has to continue, no matter what happens. That’s what Clockwork once told him.

But it can be changed. It’s been changed before. Danny’s seen it. Danny’s done it. So why—

—And if Clockwork sees this, has seen it—how could he not—then it means this is something that was always meant to be. Always growing in the back of this planet’s history.

Impending and dooming. But things can change. He knows that. He does because he’s helped change things in the past before and maybe he shouldn’t have. He’s privileged to have done that but Clockwork must know something else. He just needs to ask. He needs to—

The landline phone rings suddenly and Danny rushes quickly to pick it up before the first ring even finishes. He knows who it is.

“Jazz? Jazz, hello? You there?”

Static fills his ears for a second before he hears her ask, “Danny?”

Relief floods his system. He sighs gratefully. “Jazz. Hey, I can hear you. Can you hear me?”

“You’re kind of breaking up but I can hear you.” Static fills the line again before she says, “Are you okay? Is everyone okay?”

She sounds worried and tired. He rushes to reassure her.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine here. We’re all okay. Are you okay? Where are you now?”

A rustle of paper. “Nebraska, near the border of Colorado, I think. I’m in Big Springs. I just got out of Wyoming.”

Nebraska. She’s in Nebraska. It’s been two days. She’s just reached Nebraska and it’s been two days. It shouldn’t be taking this long. She’s still too—. Danny rubs the side of his face with his hand and holds back the panic.

“Okay. That’s good.” He lies, “You’re good, you’re okay. You just got to get through Nebraska and you’ll be golden.”

She lets out a small humorless chuckle. “Not just Nebraska, Danny. Iowa and a quarter of Illinois too.”

“Hey, that’s gonna be so easy! Okay, you’re back in the Midwest. You’re already halfway there, you know?”

“Yeah.”

He turns around to face the living room from the kitchen. The TV behind him, muted, shows more scenes of destruction and human desperation he doesn’t want to look at right now while talking to his sister.

“How are you? Really?”

Static for another moment, mere seconds before he hears her again. “I’m…scared and—and worried. This car trip home was not how I expected it to go.” She chuckles.

“No, yeah I know.” He turns to take a brief glimpse back at the TV before looking down again. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay! Really, I’m fine. I should have—I should have planned this better.”

Danny shakes his head. “You didn’t know this was going to happen. You had plans in motion. You—you have goals. How were you supposed to-to—”

“No, yeah, I know. I—” Jazz sighs, exhausted. “I know.” She’s silent and Danny’s heart drops. A rustling sound fills the phone and she says optimistically, “I made it through the worst of it and I’m almost home.”

“How—” Danny clears his throat. “How has the trip been so far?”

Trip. Can he even call it that? It’s more like an escape. She’s running away. She’s trying to get home before—before—

He can hear a puff of air hit the receiver. “It’s been…eventful. There’s a lot happening around the States. I’ve done my best to avoid it all but...”

“Like what?” he asks, curious, worried, panicked.

“I…there’s something I have to tell you. But I don’t want you to worry.”

Too late. Because that statement was ominous. “Tell me. Please. I want to know. I need to make sure you’re okay. Jazz—”

“I’m okay! I think, yeah, it’s, there’s been—”

“Jazz.”

She’s quiet again. Ancients, he hates when she’s quiet.

“Jazz, what’s going on?”

“It’s-it’s bad, Danny. It’s really bad. Everywhere. I’ve had to—” She sniffles. God, is she—? “I’ve had to do a lot to get out and I’m almost home, okay? I’m almost home and then it’s all going to be okay. But you gotta trust me that I’m going to be home soon, okay? Just know that.”

She’s frantic and panicked. He knows she pulled her phone away from her face because her sniffling is distant but he can still hear her. He needs to keep hearing her.

“Jazz? Jazz, hey, talk to me. Don’t stop talking.”

“Okay, no, it’s okay. I’m fine. I’m sorry.” She sobs.

She’s been through a lot. She’s stressed as hell. Who wouldn’t be in her situation? She’s had to do things to get out.

What did she do? What’s happening in the other states?

Without thinking, Danny grabs the remote and flips quickly through the channels but all everyone is showing are either clips of the Justice League or damn commercial ads for fucking prescription drugs and why the hell is that important right now? Right now when his sister is afraid and alone during a fucking pandemic?

He throws the remote down on the table and makes a decision.

“Jazz? Jazz, it’s okay. Listen. I’m gonna come and get you.” Danny rushes through the kitchen, rips open cabinet doors and drawers, and rustles through them searching. He knows it’s around here somewhere.

“What? What, no! Danny—”

“I’ve been so fucking stupid! Why didn’t I think about this before? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I left you like this. But I can get to you. I can. I know how.” He holds the phone between his shoulder and ear. The coil phone cord wraps around his torso as he rips open a junk drawer and immediately locates the map he was looking for.

“Here it is! Okay, you said you were where? Big Springs?”

“Yeah, but—”

“I can meet you there. It usually takes, what? Eleven hours to get to Nebraska from here? Twelve? I can fly. I can be there in sev—no! Three. I can be there in three hours. Just hold on for me, okay?”

“Danny, no, stop. This is absurd.”

Danny freezes and thinks for a moment. She’s right. This whole thing is stupid. He can get to her much quicker.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m so dumb!” He smacks his forehead. “I can take the Infi-Map.”

“Wh…what?”

“The Infi-Map. I can borrow it from Frostbite and use it to find a portal closer to you. How much ambient ectoplasm is in that area? You know what? Doesn’t matter. I’ll just ask the map to bring me to you.”

“Danny—”

“I can take the Speeder. We’re gonna have to leave your car but at this point, what does it matter?”

“Danny. Wait, stop for a second!”

Danny stops and waits for her to speak again.

“What?”

“Danny…that can be extremely dangerous. I’m not risking your life to come and get me.”

Danny holds down his scoff and rubs his eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?”

She lets out a large sigh, her breath creating a distorted noise on his end. “I’ve been around people. A lot of people. Not on purpose and not because I wanted to be. I just—it’s been a long trip so far. I’ve had to get out of the car. I’ve… had to help some people.”

Danny slumps down in the kitchen chair closes to him and stares at the TV screen. Dragonson is in North Korea. He’s in talks with the leader to help protect his people. Apparently, it’s not going well.

“Of course you did.”

“Well, I do learn from the best.”

“That’s not even remotely funny.”

She laughs anyway. It’s not funny, it’s—this whole situation is awful and it’s not funny but she’s laughing on the other line anyway.

“I’m coming to get you. I don’t care what y—”

“I may be infected.”

His breathing stops. He blinks at the TV and watches Cyborg pull up multiple maps of different countries. Areas of Europe and Asia are pulsing red and growing bigger.

“Are you—” he chokes, “Are you showing symptoms?”

“No. Nothing. But I was around people who may have been sick. I—” She takes a breath in. “I wasn’t sure if coming home was safe. I may infect other people. I may bring this to Amity.” Her voice wobbles on the last word. “And you worked so hard to keep our town safe. I don’t want to jeopardize that.”

“I don’t care about—”

“But I’m still coming home. I have a plan. I can wear a suit, one of mom’s old jumpsuits with the-the helmet. She has a hazmat suit still, right? I don’t have to enter Amity. I can stay outside the border. Wait it out to see if I’m inf-”

“No. You’re coming home. End of discussion.” Danny stands up and tosses the map, useless, onto the table and walks towards the wall cradle, ready to hang up.

“Danny, no. I’m not risking anyone’s health because I was being stupid.”

“You had a mask on right? You said you were able to get a hold of one before you left.”

“Yes, of course, I had one on.”

“And how many hours has it been?”

“It’s been five since exposure.” She’s been counting down. She’s been preparing herself.

“CDC says it takes less than twenty minutes for symptoms to show.”

“I could be asymptomatic. There have been reports of people suddenly dying without any symp—”

“YOU’RE NOT DYING!” Danny shouts. His grip on the phone is tight, almost crushing. He can see his eyes glowing in the metal reflection of the fridge.

She doesn’t say anything. She stays silent and listens to him taking deep breaths to calm himself. She isn’t dying. She isn’t going anywhere. This isn’t her time. He knows that. He knows it isn’t her time. He would feel it, right? He would feel her fading.

Would she stay here, on this plain? Would she accept her afterlife in The Zone? Would she leave him?

He’s not ready to face that yet.

“You’re not dying. Okay? I would know. I know I would know.”

“I…” she hesitates.

“You wore your mask. It’s been more than twenty minutes. You’re sure?”

“Yes, yes I’m sure.” She replies calmly.

“Then you’re fine. I’m coming soon. Give me twenty minutes.”

“Danny! Listen to me! I could infect you! I could be dangerous to everyone back home. Just because I wore a mask doesn’t mean I didn’t inhale it somehow.”

“Did you wash your hands?”

“Wh—yes! Right after and I used hand sanitizer.” Of course, she would. She was always prepared for anything. Why would she falter now?

“Great!” Danny shrugs. “Be there in twenty.”

“Danny—!”

“I love you, Jazz. I’ll see you soon.”

“DANNY!”

Danny hangs up the phone and rushes down to the basement of his house. He ignores the insistent ringing coming from the kitchen phone and races to pack supplies in a backpack he stored away in an unused locker his parents never checked.

They’re out in town, helping Vlad set up tents and other necessities for the denizens during the lockdown. They won’t miss him, not for twenty minutes. Maybe less if he speeds quickly to Frostbite.

He’s going to get Jazz. He’s going to bring her home.

#dc x dp #dc x dp fanfiction #dc x dp prompt #danny phantom #dp #fanfic #fanfiction #Things Don't Stay Forever #dcxdp

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thefreakydeaky · 10 months

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You're No Good

Negan x Reader

Various TWD Characters x Reader

Modern AU

Summary: Your husband came up with a way to keep you away from trouble but trouble just won't stay away from you.

Warnings: Mentions of cheating

When you said good bye to your husband, that morning and he said “Be good.” You had every intention of doing so. You considered yourself a tame even tempered person. You didn’t go looking for trouble. It wasn’t your fault that trouble often seemed to be looking for you. Really it wasn’t.

In the parking lot of a big chain store you sat in your car messing around on your phone. Big crowds gave you anxiety. While it was a weekday and the middle of the day there were still quite a few people in the store, if the parking lot was anything to go by. Putting off human interaction for a few more minutes, you scrolled through your feed, occasionally hitting like on posts that made you smile. As you hit like on your cousin’s pregnancy announcement a notification popped up on the instant messaging icon. You clicked on it and the screen opened to a different page. A message from your ex-fiance. What you could see without opening it was “Hi…”

You looked at his picture. It was just him, no wife, girlfriend, or child. You would have felt more comfortable if there had been someone else with him. You told yourself not to make assumptions. Maybe enough time had finally passed and he was just checking on you. Besides not having anyone in his profile photo didn’t mean anything. Your husband wasn’t in yours. It could even just be spam. You clicked on his picture and it took you to his profile. You did sometimes wonder how his family was doing.

In the years since you ended your engagement you had lost three of your four grandparents. You had lost family friends and an aunt to the corona virus. You wondered if he had lost anyone during the first few years of the pandemic. You wondered if his grandparents were still around. Curious, you snooped on his page.

Selfie, selfie, selfie, something promoting his brother’s business, selfie, selfie, meme, more promoting, meme, meme. Nothing containing the information you wanted to know was on the page and you couldn’t go through his albums because you weren’t following each other’s accounts.

You went back to the message icon. You considered the possibility that he addressed those questions in the message. ‘Well,’ you thought, ‘What could it hurt?’. You opened the message.

- Hi… went to our place last night and it brought back a lot of good memories. I know we haven’t talked much since, but you been on my mind. How have you been? –

You frowned. He was giving you nothing and now the curiosity was pecking at your mind like a hen at a worm. Now you needed to know. You replied quickly.

-Hello. Yes, I remember the place. We always had a great time there. How have you been, how’s the family?-

You waited there a minute to see if he happened to reply quickly, but he didn’t. So, you closed the app and tried to refocus your energy on to the task at hand, quickly and efficiently getting what you needed from the store. You turned off the car, put your keys in your purse, picked up your iced coffee and got out.

Passing by the plus sized section you remembered that you wanted to get a new dress to wear to your husband’s company picnic. You huffed out a breath of annoyance,but made your way to the racks. As you flipped through the options you picked out the dresses you thought would look best and put them over your arm. Your husband wasn’t what you would consider a big deal in the company, but he did manage his department. This made you feel obligated to dress more nicely for the event.

Your phone rang as you entered the dressing room.

“Hello?” You greeted as you set down your things and began to undress.

“Hello, is this Mrs.Smith?” A low voice you imagined was female inquired.

You froze.

“Yes, this is she.”

“I wanted to let you know that your husband is having an affair.”

You felt like you had been hit in the stomach. All the air seemed to have left your lungs yet you knew it hadn’t because you were able to ask, “Is it you?”, in a steady voice.

“No! No. I’ve seen them flirting and sneaking around together. It’s not right that you don’t know.” She said.

You took a deep breath then let it out slowly.

“Well, I certainly know now, don’t I?”

The line was quiet.

“Thank you for your concern.” You forced something that sounded like sincerity into your tone.

“Yes, well. Good Luck. Good bye.” She managed to say briskly before she hung up.

You rolled your eyes as you quickly saved the number to your contacts with the day’s date as the name. You would deal with Negan later.

You picked a strapless idigo colored sundress that had a twisted knot detail at the neckline. You had a newish pair of sandals at home that would go well. You placed the dress in your basket and moved on to the hygeine aisles.

You had only been looking through the conditioner section for a few minutes when you heard your name being called.

You turned to look and recognized the bearded handsome man standing in the mouth of the aisle.

“Hey, neighbor.” You offered him a smile.

“Is that all I get?” Rick asked sheepishly.

You laughed a little and went and hugged him.

His arms went around you and squeezed.

“Haven’t seen you in… forever.”

The acceptable amount of time to let go of you would have been right then, but he held onto you.

“Yeah, It’s been a while.” You commented.

Rick gave you one more squeeze before he let go.

“How’ve you been?” He asked, a smile on his lips.

“Good, good. I’ve been trying to adjust to being a stay at home wife. Which, honestly, isn’t so bad.”

“A stay at home wife? So, you married him.” He remarked.

“Yupp. It’ll be a year next month.” You looked away from his bright blue gaze. “How’s your wife?”

“Be honest, you don’t actually care to know how Laurie is.” Rick scoffed.

You cleared your throat.

“I was being polite.”

“Well, you don’t need to be. We’ve been divorced for three years now. If it wasn’t for Carl I wouldn’t care one bit what happens to that woman.” He admitted.

You raised your eyebrows.

“Three years? That’s right around the time…we moved.” You tried to read it in his eyes.”Did I-Was it because of what we did?”

“Oh, it wasn’t your fault. Laurie and me, we’d been having problems for years. It had built up by the time that all went down. If anything those few weeks with you made me realize how unhappy I was and gave me hope that I could be happy again.”

“I’m sorry it ended the way it did. I should have given you a heads up or done more to stop it.” You apologized, a frown on your face.

Rick took your hand in his.

“Don’t be. There was nothing you could of done.”

You gazed into one another’s eyes. It was still there. The heat between you. You could feel it pulling you in.

“Hey, I’d love to sit down and have a cup of coffee with you. Can we exchange numbers?” His pretty blue eyes were lit with hope.

You nodded and took out your phone. You gave him your phone number and he gave you his. Then you said good bye and went back to doing the shopping.

#negan x reader #Rick Grimes x Reader #negan smith x reader #Rick TWD x Reader #Negan TWD x Reader #the walking dead x reader

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louisupdates · 1 year

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What I learned about Louis Tomlinson from making his documentary

Director Charlie Lightening on capturing the former One Direction star in 'All Of Those Voices'

By NME | 30th March 2023

Louis Tomlinson shot to fame with One Direction, the era-defining boy band who conquered the world after being formed on ‘The X Factor’ in 2010. Since the group parted ways in 2016, Tomlinson has forged a solo career that has seen him swap the band’s peppy pop-rock for Oasis-inspired indie bangers. He followed his 2020 solo debut, ‘Walls’, with last year’s chart-topping ‘Faith In The Future’.

For his new documentary, ‘Louis Tomlinson: All Of Those Voices’, the singer has teamed up with Charlie Lightening, the acclaimed filmmaker behind Liam Gallagher’s big-screen doc ‘As It Was’. Here, exclusively for NME, Lightening shares what he learned about Tomlinson from shadowing him during a pivotal and emotional period in his career.

Charlie Lightening, director: “I first met Louis at the premiere of the Liam [Gallagher] film. Well, I say met – I saw him across the way, but we didn’t actually talk. But then he got in touch to ask if I’d make some music videos with him, so we met up properly. I really liked him and found he had a real depth to him. He seemed a lot older than his years and had so much more to say.

When we got talking about his plans to release a solo album [Tomlinson’s 2020 debut ‘Walls’], the idea to make a film came together quite organically. But at that point, I didn’t realise that I would end up shooting him for the next four years. The idea was to follow him on his first solo tour, but he only got two shows in before COVID happened. I think having it all taken away like that made Louis think and really appreciate what he does.

To begin with, Louis’ plan was to do smaller live shows to get a feel for the audience and find out what it’s like to tour as a solo artist. But because of the pandemic, he announced a live-streamed show instead and sold 160,000 tickets without even doing any promo. I think that made him realise: ‘Oh my god, there really is demand for me out there’. So when it was time to get out on the road again, he was ready to bring it.

He started off doing smaller theatre shows in the US, then arena shows in Europe, and by the end he was doing numerous arena shows in South America. So as a filmmaker, I’ve captured a trajectory that would normally take an artist two or three separate tours to achieve. And because of COVID, the fans had two years to live with the [‘Walls’] album, so it much more meaning for them by the time Louis was finally able to play it live.

I think what I find most striking about Louis is how resilient he is. He has been knocked down quite a few times in his life and he keeps getting back up again. He lost his mum [Johanna] in 2016 and sister [Félicité] in 2019 but he never let this define him, so when he says ‘life always throws shit at you’ in the film, he knows what he’s talking about. But he’s still a very positive person and calls himself the product of his mum’s upbringing. Growing up in Doncaster really moulded him; I think that’s why he has such perseverance and self-belief.

At the start of the film, he talks about not really feeling like part of One Direction to begin with. He felt like he had to find his role in the band, as he was excluded from lead vocal lines on the first few singles. This made him more determined and so he started to be involved with writing songs for the band. By the time the band ended, he was the member with the most songwriting credits, which is something that really means a lot to him. He’s proud of that.

I do think that he definitely still misses the band. In a way, you could compare him to Liam Gallagher, who also never wanted Oasis to end and become a solo artist. But I think that’s why Louis’ touring band means so much to him. Louis has done everything already with One Direction – he’s played the world’s biggest venues – so to relive it through their eyes on this tour was a very special thing for him.

Louis is a very private person but I think people will be surprised by just how much he opens up in this film. You see him being a dad and being vulnerable with his family. But what I’ll take away most from the experience is just how much Louis has grown as an artist. At one point, it felt like it was Harry [Styles] and Niall [Horan] who were getting all the headlines and Louis was being slightly underrated, as he hadn’t released anything at this point. I do think that some people who watch this film will be surprised by the level he’s already got to as a solo artist, but this is just the beginning. He knows where he wants to go creatively and he’s in control of his headspace, so the next album will be another massive step forward.”

‘Louis Tomlinson: All Of Those Voices’ is in cinemas now

As told to Nick Levine

#nme #louis press #louis tomlinson #aotv review #charlie lightening #30 march 2023

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boowoomuu · 2 years

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WHAT IS HAPPENING IN BRASIL RIGHT NOW:

So, as some of you may have noticed, today (2/10) was elections day here in Brasil. Things are really tense and scary here, at least for myself. Right now, our president, unfortunately, is Jair Bolsonaro, a man who has openly said he supports torture and our dictature, is also openly misogynist, queerphobic, the first thing he did when he became president was putting an end to the ministery of culture, he openly made fun of the pandemic, being able to help the people in need during covid's peak and decided not to, saying things like "it's just a little flu, people need to stop being so dramatic about it", made advertisement of a medecine not approved by doctors which his supporters started taking like water, never properly wore a mask and promoted marches during the lockdown, oh, and also spread fake news about vaccines, wich made a lot of people refuse to take them, among many many maaaany other things (I'm so tired rn, it's 02:59am here, if you guys want to, I can get the sources and post here but tomorrow.). Today we had the chance to take him out of our lives, but this is Brasil, no one takes anything seriously and we always find a nee way to surprise people.

I didn't want to sleep until the votes apuration reached 100% but I'll be waking up super early tomorrow so yeah, I must sleep. Anyways, the vote apuration is currently on 99,99% (it's been for the last hour btw) but those ate the results so far.

In conclusion, I am legitmately terrified. Lula was our best shot to take him out, so everyone who didn't want Bozo voted for him, and we were really hopefull we could get him elected on the first turn, but now we'll have to have a second one where we choose either Lula or Bolsonaro. The choice is obvious to me, but as you guys can see, most people prefer to elect a genocidal man than a socialist.

I don't really know what I wanted to achieve with this post, but I just thought it was important to let everybody now what is happening here. We are comparing this to our period of dictature, bc a lot of people here still deny the fact we had one or say it was the best time of their lives and that, quoting my grandma "the history books are wrong".

I once had to research the kinds of tortures that were made by the army during the dictature for school and it still haunts me to this day.

And to see people in the streets, using my beloved flag as their symbol to say that that period was good makes me really angry and terribly sad.

I'm fucking terrified of the second turn. Things are getting more and more expensive here. There are reports of people raiding garbage trucks to look for food bc they're hungry. I am lucky to be privileged and I can still buy food, but for how long? I don't really wanna find out what four more years with him as president will do to us, but I'm scared. I'm scared to go out in the streets, and to openly say my opinions on the matter. There are also reports of people being murdered on the streets bc they were wearing stickers of leftists candidates.

Things are scary here. But please, don't let this be ignored like the dictature was. We now have internet on our side. Please, pray for us and wish us luck, we'll need it.

#i am fucking terrified #i don't even know if it's wise to post this #but here i am #i'm scared #there isn't much you foreigners can do but share and pray #i just needed to let this out #brasil #brazil #br #brasilian elections #brazilian elections #jair bolsonaro #lula #bozo #help #pray for brasil y'all

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thewakingcloak · 4 months

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The State of Things Past

this post is mirrored from the Studio Spacefarer Patreon! please consider supporting me, and you’ll get access to devlog posts, gifs, and other info before the public!

Like I mentioned in my previous post, The Waking Cloak has been in development for eight years.

ProtoDungeon: Episode III has itself been in development for a few years, pretty much since 2019 (oooof). I've gotten plenty of questions about how the project is coming, as well as the occasional question of whether The Waking Cloak / ProtoDungeon is even alive at all at this point. Thank you for asking this. It means people are still interested in these games.

Okay, but still, what happened? Why are things taking so long? Well, this post is the first in the Christmas Carol series, in which the ~Ghost of Spacefarer Past~ appears to explain things (wooo spooky explanation sounds).

Progress has been made, very slowly, on ProtoDungeon: Episode III. I'd love to have done more, but, well… in the time since I released Episode II, we continued adjusting to parenthood for our first kid, went through the pandemic, had a second baby (who is now almost 3yo), and survived through a series of really difficult events, which culminated in a move to a new house in a new town and the start of a new chapter (but that last bit we'll save that for the Ghost of Christmas Present so he feels useful).

But yeah, it's been a rough ride. My wife and I are intentionally open about what's been going on. At the same time, the internet is an extremely public place, and I don't want to overshare, or worse, trigger anything for anyone, so I'll try to keep this list brief:

Two miscarriages (the first one was late term, and absolutely, brutally devastating)

The loss of our faith community due to the pandemic

Loss of job for my wife due to the pandemic (the pandemic was unkind to teachers)

Loss of a dream job prospect for my wife (same issue)

The great Texas freeze and power outage (us huddling under blankets in shifts through the night with our newborn infant (he's fine now!))

Severe, life-threatening post-partum and post-natal depression

Family covid and two-week cabin-fever quarantines (twice, despite being vaccinated and careful)

The death of my grandma (we were not able to attend her memorial due to aforementioned covid and living on the other side of the country)

Multiple heart attacks for my father despite his active and healthy lifestyle

Autoimmune disease scare for my wife (may still be a thing, just dormant?)

etc., etc., ad infinitum.

A lot of people have had things significantly worse, so this is definitely not an attempt to "compare griefs" as it were. This is just context for, no matter how much I wanted it to be otherwise, the fact that I didn't have the mental or emotional (or temporal) space for creativity. It was one thing after another, and we were just trying to keep our heads above water.

Even when we'd mostly recovered from the hits that just kept comin', we moved away from what my wife lovingly refers to as the "trauma house", and she started a teaching job at a brand-new school. Both were good things, but they were pretty big transitions, and it takes time for the ol' brains to adjust. We love our new home now and have a bit more breathing room.

Okay but also I HAVE been working on ProtoDungeon. Dev was really sporadic, but it did happen. The next post will have more detail on the status of Episode III, but there were kind of two big things I worked on during the past three years, big shifts in the foundation of ProtoDungeon and The Waking Cloak.

First, I switched game perspective. I made a few posts about this a while back, but PD/TWC interiors were originally like Zelda interiors (where you see the insides of all four walls). There are good reasons to do this, but it was also kinda making me crazy. So I switched to a more natural front-perspective, keeping things consistent with the exteriors. It definitely was the right choice for the game I wanted to build, but it took time.

Second, and building on that, I made the game fully faux-3D. You can walk behind or in front of stuff--not something the old Zelda games did, and still pretty rare for 2D games. I was toying with the idea for a long time, but I played through an old PlayStation title, Alundra, and that convinced me it could be done. It's way harder than you might expect, and it was a massive block for me for literally years. I was able to slowly work my way past it and finally resolved it with a 3D z-tilting method, but dev slowed to a crawl.

And that's it for now! The ghost releases you from your vision of Spacefarer Past….

Thanks for reading :)

#gamedev #indiedev #the waking cloak #devlog #devblog #game development #protodungeon

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dirty-pretty-jackal-s · 5 months

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THE LIBERTINES: ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE

Back in action - and in truly festive spirit - for a Margate knees-up ahead of forthcoming fourth album 'All Quiet on the Eastern Esplanade', the likely lads are writing a positive new chapter onto their wild career.

Words: Lisa Wright Photos: Ed Miles 20th December 2023

The Libertines have been known for many things over the years. As one of the most storied indie outfits of the ‘00s. As an example of that rare magic that can happen when two people - in their case, rollercoaster bromance frontmen Pete Doherty and Carl Barât - spark in a way that makes something far bigger than the sum of its parts. As a band whose generation-defining first two albums dressed the genre up in romance and red military garb before imploding in a mess of destruction and addiction.

Two decades and two reunions on, and all these things remain true. But right now, in the fireside belly of their Margate hotel The Albion Rooms, the band have got other things on their mind: namely, what a Libertines Christmas single could entail. “‘Can’t Stand Tree Now’. No wait, ‘Death on the Sledge’…” suggests Doherty with a glint in his eye as photos are taken and his massive dog Gladys snaffles a mince pie clean out of his hand. “‘Tell It To We Three Kings!’” pipes up bassist John Hassall, as all four signal their approval and break into impromptu festive song - not for the first or last time this afternoon.

The Libertines’ forthcoming new album - their first in nearly a decade, and second since reforming - might be named ‘All Quiet on the Eastern Esplanade’, but on the titular Margate street, on a blustery December day, the mood is anything but sedate. The band have congregated for a special weekender of events to launch the record, beginning with an intimate show at the Lido down the road later in the evening - a working men’s club-type room with chintzy Christmas dressing that clearly hasn’t seen this sort of rowdy action in decades. At one point we turn around and someone’s bag is on fire. It gets hastily stamped out. The show goes on.

A few weeks before this, however, and the two frontmen are gathered in the oak-panelled backroom of a posh London pub, viewing The Albion Rooms from a different angle. They’ve just been delivered the mock-ups of their latest LP sleeve, on which a cast of colourful characters line the street outside their Margate space. “That’s Sister Mary from the song ‘Mustang’; that’s the ‘Man with the Melody’; that’s the refugee from ‘Merry Old England’,” points out Doherty. “Look she’s got a bottle of rum in the pram as well, she’s shoplifting. That’s good, that. Very clever,” he nods with satisfaction.

The pair have a lot to be satisfied about, too. They’ve come out the other side of the metaphorical tornado with their band and their friendship largely intact; ‘All Quiet…’, we suggest, sounds like an album made by a group of people that genuinely want to be there. “I’m glad it sounds that way because it’s utterly true, and it’s an album we actually did want to make and we really put everything into the songs,” explains Barât. “Even saying that is a bit emotional for me…”

“He’s [Doherty] a part of my life that I’d miss horrendously if it wasn't there.— Carl Barât

The path to The Libertines’ latest was a very different one to any of those that have come before for the band. These days, both frontmen live comparatively sedate family lives on their respective coastlines - Barât in Margate and Doherty in France. Doherty has been clean for several years since relocating during the pandemic; his day-to-day world is clearly a whole universe away from the not-so-good old days.

Having decamped to Jamaica as a duo “to plot up together a while and see what was what”, they set up camp in a glass studio on top of a hill where, Doherty notes, “the glass was so well-polished, all the local birds kept flying into the walls”. “Every so often you’d just get a thud, and it wouldn’t kill ‘em but they’d be stunned and slowly come to life and then I’d draw them. They’re on my wall,” he says. The musical results of the trip were slim pickings (“When we got back and sat down with everyone and played the demos, we were a bit shocked at how bad they were…”), but the willingness to keep going together was cemented.

Reconvening with Hassall and drummer Gary Powell, the following sessions in Kent and Normandy were surprisingly wholesome affairs. “Some of those nights when we were doing backing vocals, it felt like we were getting a bit lashed up but we weren’t, we were all really sober. But it had that same energy,” recalls Doherty. Barât chuckles: “The energy that’s imbued in us from years of lash!” And whilst we must all pour one out for a song left on the cutting room floor, ‘What A Time For The Bellhop’, which Barât describes as sounding “like the Blackadder theme tune”, what did emerge was a record that doffs its hat to the albums that made their name whilst creating notable differences along the way.

Though the flights of fancy and arcadian dreaming are still present and correct, there are splashes of cold reality to the likes of ‘Merry Old England’’s acknowledgement of the refugee crisis that feel like an important update. “It’s hard not to be [more rooted in reality] when it’s right in your face so vividly, especially in Margate,” Doherty says. “Thanet Council has had to house more refugees than any borough in this whole country; the two years I was in Margate, that was my everyday world.

“Even when we were looking for staff to work cash in hand at the hotel at the start, we were helping people out who’d come straight out the camp and then discovering a lot of them were fucking amazing artists, or mothers, brothers and sisters looking [for a place to exist] in the same way that our ancestors came over from Ireland or wherever. We’ve got a right old mix between us [in the band]; we’ve got about twelve different waves of immigrants, probably like most English people. There’s probably only about seven people in the depths of Wales who have pure Ancient Britain DNA.”

“It’s never felt normal - these characters, this chemistry. It never feels normal, but it’s certainly a lot more normal than it has been in years.— Carl Barât

In the years since 2015’s ‘Anthems For Doomed Youth’, there had been a lot of talk of new music, but nothing by way of action. “I’d been saying, ‘New music’s just around the corner!’ in interviews cos you don’t wanna not say that, but it had started to wear a bit thin,” says Barât. “We had this thing for ages in interviews where we’d list the songs but we’d just be coming out with titles on the spot,” remembers Doherty. “‘Yeah we’ve got a song called ‘Bottle Your Mum’ or something like that. And then we’d have to read back through the interview to write songs with those titles.”

It’s perhaps unsurprising that it took so long to record ‘Anthems…’’ follow-up when you look at the spectres that were still swirling around the band during its writing and release. “When I think back to that time, it’s all a blank. Not even a blur it’s just a jumbled blank,” muses Doherty as Barât mumbles: “Yeah, well there’s a reason for that…”

“It’s hard not to be [more rooted in reality] when it’s right in your face so vividly.— Pete Doherty

Today, the magnetic, see-sawing nature of the chemistry that’s been the pair’s greatest asset and biggest source of upset is in full swing. One moment they’re bickering about grammar and flinging hilariously petty insults (Barât: “You said ‘my bad’ the other day…” Doherty: “I have NEVER said ‘my bad’. EVER”); the next they’re breaking into random Cockney songs; a few minutes later, a topic will come up that looks like it might bring either or both to tears. These days, with a literal sea between them, they don’t get to hang out much outside of the band. “That’s why we come back and do it, I think,” says Doherty. “Because we want to check up on each other.” But there’s still the sense that the two musicians are bound together by something stronger and more innate than most. As Barât puts it: “He’s a part of my life that I’d miss horrendously if it wasn't there.”

Doherty has an analogy. “It’s like two shopkeepers that have got this massive backload of stock in the back room, and one of them decided he wanted to sell something else for a while and now he’s come back, not cap in hand exactly, but he’s like, ‘Actually, some of this fruit’s still good to go’,” he says, picking up steam. “‘Let’s pump out some tangerines in the early morning rush’, and it turns out they’re as juicy and ripe as they ever thought they were. And maybe it was just the glass that was dirty rather than the actual produce.”

Barât raises his eyebrow in mock indignation: “For me, I was selling tangerines and then he went into insurance. So now he’s back from insurance, he’s realised that tangerines taste nice and oranges aren’t the only fruit!” Cue both men breaking into a simultaneous rendition of ‘Let’s All Go Down The Strand (Have A Banana)’.

Watching The Libertines barrel through the hits as lucky Margate Lido ticket holders holler back every word; seeing the quartet mess about like old mates in front of a Christmas fire, and listening to a new record that feels like a band reinvigorated, there’s something undeniably heartwarming about this current era of the quartet. There’s still an aura of charming chaos around them, but these days it’s in a jolly, eccentric way rather than something that could genuinely rip them apart at any minute. “It’s never felt normal - these characters, this chemistry,” says Barât. “It never feels normal, but it’s certainly a lot more normal than it has been in years.”

“It makes me think of those two young lads tramping down the Holloway Road - how much we believed in the music - and in many ways that hasn’t really changed,” Doherty nods. “We’ve been a little pattern on the wallpaper of the great Albion tapestry. If you could dig up Shakespeare or Graham Greene or Oscar Wilde from the dead and say, ‘Hey! People are still fucking having it with your writing’, they’d be overjoyed. Sometimes I’ll be thinking maybe we aren’t relevant any more, and then some kid will come past on a bike in his muddy boots and leather jacket and say, ‘Ah Pete, I fucking love ‘Up The Bracket’ mate’, and that’ll reinvigorate me with the force.”

‘All Quiet on the Eastern Esplanade’ is out 8th March via Casablanca/ Republica Records.

#the libertines #carl barat #peter doherty #john hassall #gary powell #all quiet on the eastern esplanade #interview #articles #merry christmas

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heir-less · 1 year

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Just curious Can you explain the housing situation with the wales? They have four houses? Or three and why would a move to Windsor be bad? I don’t want to go on a wales blog lol

The Wales family currently has four or maybe five houses and they are:

Amner Hall: This is a country residence on the Sandringham Estate in Norfolk, the family moved there in 2015 but it was a wedding gift from QEII back in 2011. It was their main residence until 2017, and they renovated it for a lot of money. People incorrectly state that they felt Amner Hall behind after they moved to Windsor, but that's not the case. It continues to be their private country home where they spent weekends and holidays.

Kensington Palace: This is the Prince and Princess of Wales's London residence. Despite it being called "Apartment 1A", giving off the vibe of something small and functional, it is actually a four-story mansion within a palace. It was renovated for over 4 million pounds after the couple moved in 2013. It is their main city residence and I assume this was where they stayed when the children St Thomas's, which is in the same area.

Adelaide Cottage: Adelaide Cottage is the principal residence of Kate and her children, and, I'm told William sometimes lives there, too. Just kidding, the cottage is their principal residence and is located in Windsor Home Park and is within walking distance from Windsor Castel and Frogmore House. Last year it was framed in context to the "busy, tourist attraction" of Kensington Palace, with royal reporters claiming the children need more space for a normal upbringing. Sure.

Llwynywermod: This is the residence we don't know much about, or how often they stay there but it was purchased by the Duchy of Cornwall in 2006 and is the Welsh residence of William and Kate.

Why moving out of Kensington Palace is a bad idea:

It's been floated around that Will and Kate want to move into Windsor Castle. At first, it was painted as them wanting to be close to the Queen, which I didn't have an issue with, but with the Queen gone moving from KP to Windsor is a bad, bad idea.

London is the capital city of England and is located in a city, giving an element of closeness to cultural events and the people. To boil it down, London is where all the shit happens and they need to be there for logical reasons. Every other residence they are on massive estates where outsiders are prohibited. The Queen moved to Windsor full-time with Philip because isolation made sense: they were an elderly couple during a pandemic where meeting the wrong people could literally kill them. Such a level of isolation is not required for Will and Kate, a relatively young couple who honestly are already recluses who don't do a lot of work. I'm sick of KP suddenly being framed as a "trap" with no privacy and that the Wales kids need more space for a normal upbringing when they've been safe there, along with the generations of royals who have lived there for decades.

Why do they need to isolate to this level? How is it not normal to raise your kids in the city where the vast majority of people in the UK live? I already disliked the move to Adelaide Cottage, because the ROTA framed is in a really classist and racist manner. There was this really gross Allison Pearson piece that I ranted about where she basically said that Will and Kate "fled" London because the city was becoming an unsafe shithole full of immigrants. I think moving to cut off London would give these people more fodder, it would also isolate them from the public to a degree that would hurt them as public figures. If you're basically claiming that you're moving to a massive (the world's largest inhabited) castle because you hate interacting with your fellow citizens in the city, you come off looking terribly elitist. Not to mention the costs of them taking up residence at Windsor Castle.

So, yeah, I just don't think it's a good idea. If they want to move out of KP they should consider another London-based residence like Clarence House. I can't understand how three other country residences isn't enough

#answered #anonymous #william #kate

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truly-hopeless · 6 months

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Honest Question About A Fic

So not too long ago, while at work, I was thinking about a story of mine that I haven't updated in almost two years. The story is titled "I Move the Stars For No One," which is a retelling of Rumpelstiltskin with L/Light Yagami as the main ship that I started writing after reading other LawLight fairy tale rewrites, namely eleonoraw's Merman and Totoroto's Snow Moon. It was my first story published to AO3 near the beginning of the pandemic and was my first LawLight fic. It currently sits unfinished at seven chapters (there was an eighth, a scrapped prologue, but I moved it to "The Dead Darling Graveyard" since it had little to do with the story) and was last updated December 2021. While I like parts of the current version (such integrating other fairy tales into the story since I'm a sucker for that kind of thing), I feel dissatisfied with the story for several reasons:

It's taking too long to get to the main conflict of the story (Beyond disrupting Light and L's arrangement and the two needing to find a way to stop that from happening) even without the long hiatuses and that smaller conflicts (L hiding he's a goblin from Light, Light feeling conflicted about what to do now that he's not going to be executed, and Misa's jealousy) are getting resolved too easily.

The story barely resembles Rumplestiltskin at all. Sure, it was always going to be a different story from the original fairy tale since the protagonists' identities and circumstances that make them desperate enough to ask a magical stranger for help and who they fall in love with are not the same (while the miller's daughter can definitely do better than the greedy king demanding she spin straw into gold on pain of death, never in a million years is she going to consider the man who demands she hand over her baby [presumably to eat it] in exchange for his help marriage material unless there is serious tweaking done to his character), it still feels off.

The main characters feel out of character. Light and L became too familiar too fast (even for a ship fic) and there's no real tension after L's deception is revealed and Light forgives him (too easily, I feel). And while I don't necessarily want to vilify Misa to add conflict (especially since I just complained about how awful the king in the original fairy tale was), she should be a little more unwilling to share Light with L (even if she is the one that gets to marry him) and push back more.

I just hate the title. It was taken from lyrics of a song from Labyrinth, but outside of L being the King of Goblins in this story and the memory-wiping peaches there's nothing in common with Labyrinth either; it could have been, if I wasn't afraid of adding more conflict and making L more dark grey when it comes to morality, but that wasn't what I wrote.

So I'm thinking about rewriting the story, to make it more in line with both the original fairy tale and in the spirit of LawLight. But that comes with it's own problems:

If you've been following me for any amount of time, you'll know that I'm not the most consistent when it comes to updating my stories; it could be anywhere between a week to four months to a whole year before I update something due to a combination of burnout, stress when I think about how I'm almost thirty and nothing in my life is coming together, and being distracted by other story ideas. Speaking of...

I have too much shit going on as is when it comes to writing. I was tagged for that WIP ask game a few weeks ago, where I had to list out all the stuff I've been working on. The list has 31 drafts and I found out today that I still forgot to list a couple (not going back to change it now) and then there are ideas that play out in my head during work or when I'm trying to sleep that I haven't brought myself to write down because I am trying to keep the new WIPs to a minimum.

I have yet to finish a long story (I have the same problem as the protagonist from Dave Made a Maze: I start all these projects, but never finish them) and will feel slightly guilty for abandoning yet another one, even if it's for the sake of a rewrite instead of abandoning it altogether and trying to forget they exist like the stories on my FFN account.

So what should I do?

#fanfiction #lawlight #fairy tale retelling #rumplestiltskin #tumblr polls #writing #death note #fantasy

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noenvyy · 6 months

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WIP 2023 Submission

Story Title: "Bring Me Tomorrow/Stay With Me" @wipbigbang

Fandom: MDZS/ The Untamed

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34668886/chapters/86313907

Art: Poster is made by the amazing @kingstoken

Summary: "It hadn’t taken long for the word to make its way around the cultivation world. Wei Wuxian, the Yiling patriarch, the dark individual who had cast a shadow over the collective peace of mind of all the clans had been defeated.

It was true.

Captured, beaten, stripped of his legendary weapon, Chenqing, and currently held in the dungeons of Lotus pier, the very place that he used to call his home, it seemed his reign of terror was finally coming to a close."

An AU where Wei Wuxian is captured shortly after Jin Zixuan's death. Hearing his beloved sentenced to death Lan Wangji finally has the impetus to bear his heart and confess his true feelings to Wei Ying. But what happens when new love has no time? When everything you've held precious is shattered and scattered to the winds, how do you find the will to keep going? How do you even begin to conceive of tomorrow?

Warnings: Major Character Death, Non-Con, Rape--alluded to but not explicit, Torture, Grief, Panic Attack,

Characters: Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Jin Guangyao, Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng, Nie Huisang, Jin Guangshan, Nie Mingjue, Lan Sizhui

Pairings: Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, Jin Guangyao/Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao/Nie Mingjue, Implied Xicheng

When I Started: Back in the middle of the pandemic during a manic depressive episode.

How I Lost My Shit: It was just taking super long man.

How I Finished My Shit: When this year’s @wipbigbang came up, I thought, it's now or never baybeee! Gotta get this done! It's finally done, can't believe it happened. This is my first ever original fic. I started it about four years ago in the peak of the pandemic. Things were rough and dark, those days and the years ahead would see a lot of depressive lows and horrible manic highs. But through that time my sister introduced me to The Untamed and MDZS became kind of a small beacon of light. Because of that story I suddenly found the will to create art, to write again after not having done so for years.

I'm still not sure exactly how or why this fic was written only that I enjoyed the journey of it and am glad to have finally been able to finish.

To those of you who were with me from the very beginning you have absolutely NO IDEA how much your kudos and kind words and spellchecks and feedback gave me hope and light through some ridiculously tough time. In the four years of working on this fic I've struggled with mental health, gotten a diagnosis for cyclothymia, been evicted twice, had to move back with my parents who are hoarders and live in a shack, move again, get married twice once in a different country. You guys stuck with me through it all and I thank each of you from the bottom of my heart for your readership and your eternal kindness. Once again thank you to everyone who was kind enough to kudos and comment. May the grass be ever green beneath you feet, may your lifetime be full of good and wonderful stories, those you hear, those you tell and those who you experience first hand.

All my love to you all.

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sassymajesty · 6 months

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Top 5 best days of your life so far!

the first time i went to the beach! i spent a week at a gorgeous, gorgeous beach, in a tiny town where the beach sand was the pavement in half the streets, and there was a creek running across our background. i almost drowned but i was tipsy before breakfast and falling in love

my cousin's wedding. we grew up together and we, along with another cousin who shares my birthday, are the babies of the family and he was the last one to get married. the wholeeeee family got together and it was a wedding that felt very brazilian, not much fuss and so much food. i smile to this day thinking about it

sleepover with the og college friends. i took three years off school around the pandemic and i thought i'd lose touch with the friends i had made during freshmen year. that sleepover happened on a whim and we haven't spent more than three days without seeing each other ever since

goodbye party at friend's farm. one of my childhood friends moved to the us for his phd and we threw a little party at his mom's farm. we were drunk on gin and catching fireflies and making plans for the next year already. it didn't feel like goodbye, more like see you soon.

my fifteenth birthday. it wasn't anything fancy. but it was friends surprising me with a cake and recording everything with someone's camera — including singing along horribly to music only we liked, brigadeiro with so much cinnamon no one could eat, and four of us falling from a fridge cardboard box.

#dreamsaremywords #nina's mail #💌

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night-market-if · 2 years

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Dear Mr. Stockfish

Hello. You don’t know me. And based on your lack of consideration thus far, it is doubtful you wish to. I am the wife of one of your employee’s. I am a mother of four. I am the woman that has watched her husband go work, thirteen to fourteen hour shifts for you, often times in the middle of the night. I am a woman who raised children during the pandemic. Homeschooled them. Became their friend. Their teacher. Their support. Because you couldn’t spare a single worker. I am the one that has watched him struggle with working for you, a good company as you proudly proclaim, while trying to be a good father. He operates on little to no sleep due to the type of hours you demand and the shifts you implement. Because he wants to provide for us. But he also doesn’t want his children to grow up, as many are now, with an absentee father.

On September 13th, your employees walked on you. You claim your contract is fair. It is not. A pay increase does nothing when insurance goes down. It does nothing in the face of inflation. And it does nothing when most of your workers have to commute and the gas prices have skyrocketed. In fact, what you have offered them is a pay decrease in the guise of something charitable. You talk about fair and competitive wages and yet most people have been able to leave and find better money elsewhere. Your electricians are underpaid by far. Your hours are atrocious. Your insurance is abysmal. I have had two babies under your insurance. My first one had issue within the hospital. That original plan five years ago, was a lifesaver. My child that was born without complications, without me spending a full extra day in the hospital, nearly bankrupted us because the fees were so high due to your shitty insurance policy. And now you wish to reduce it more because it is status quo?

What happened to being a good company because you weren’t status quo? Because you offered what others could not? What happened to be a good solid foundation for a community? You pride yourself on hard work and family values and yet children are struggling to eat because you cannot meet your employees at the table and negotiate.

And that, is truly what it does come down to. Your employees are willing to negotiate. They are not asking for the moon. But each time you have come back to the negotiating table with nothing. Nothing but a paltry sign on bonus that you were shocked people weren’t going to take? Can I ask you what you think a sign on bonus is going to do for my children when they get sick? Or if Covid resurges? Can I ask you what your sign on bonus is going to do if a pipe bursts this winter? Can I ask how your sign on bonus has helped or can help in the face of your employee’s family emergencies? Your community lost family members these last few years. Your employees banded together. Grieved together. Supported and helped each other. Where were you?

You claim to be a good company. That you take care of your own. Your own are speaking back saying they do not feel support and your response is to gaslight them as if they are some small child undeserving of your time. But hey, when you guys came to them and asked them to still work during a worldwide pandemic, they did. They made you billions in profit in fact. Let's just read that again. Billions. But you can’t give them a decent raise or decent insurance. Mr. Stockfish, were your bonus’s that you took this year more important than my child's speech therapy? Was your bonus more important than the mental health of your workers? Can I ask you if it is more important than your employees choosing whether they can turn on their heat this winter because they might not be able to afford it? Can I see what you bought with your bonus while your workers all got up at two or three in the morning to come serve your company, while you do nothing but sit back and collect?

I’ll wait.

Sincerely,

A wife. A mother. A member of this community you claim to care for and are letting down.

If anyone wishes to e-mail this man, his email is [email protected]

#personal #on strike #company on strike #weyerhaeuser #support workers #support union

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debinhas-bicycle · 9 months

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Now that the World Cup is over, I'm reflecting on my personal journey that brought me here. Apologies for the long post, but there's so much I wanted to say.

On December 18th, 2022, I woke up in the afternoon and, upon opening Twitter, saw that the Qatar world cup final between Argentina and France was going into penalty kicks. I rushed onto my computer and managed to pull it up in time to watch Messi score on his shot, and a few minutes later, Argentina won. That was pretty fun, I thought.

I'd been hearing about this world cup for months. Despite never seeking anything out, the news was thrust in my face that This. Was. Happening! Given the time differential between here and Qatar, and the fact that I've never followed soccer closely, I wasn't very interested in watching, to say nothing of the controversies surrounding that world cup and its host nation.

I hadn't watched a game of any sport since the 2019 World Series, and I felt a pang as Argentina celebrated on the pitch, suddenly realizing that this was something I'd been missing. I was raised playing baseball and soccer, and sports has always had a place in my heart and my house, but it was something I lost when the pandemic stoppages happened, and I hadn't found my way back yet. This feeling began to simmer in the back of my mind.

On January 21st, 2023, I finally made the decision to start watching women's soccer. It was the culmination of moments and thoughts that started during that penalty shootout, as well as the long brewing determination that I wanted to follow some form of women's sports, and the coincidence that the USWNT happened to be playing against New Zealand on HBO Max at exactly the right time for me to see it. I turned on the game and I had a blast.

During the game, I learned that the women's world cup was taking place later this year (something that had not been made well known to me). The stars had aligned perfectly, and I was ecstatic! I was finally going to get back into sports, and I had seven months to acquaint myself with everything WoSo before July 20th.

I couldn't have imagined that 8 months later I would've gone to a Kansas City Current match (my first time at any professional sports game in four years). I couldn't have imagined just how much fun I was going to have following the NWSL or this World Cup. I couldn't have imagined that I would spent the better part of three weeks staying up past dawn to watch football all night long (okay, that one does sound like me, I would've believed it). I might've even believed all of those, but most of all I couldn't have imagined the friends I was going to make here along the way.

I thought I was going to watch the USWNT matches and nothing else; after all, the timezones were once again not in my favor.

But it didn't matter. It was too much fun. You all made it too much fun. I had to stay up and watch every match I could, because everything was just too exciting. Debutants were holding their own, there were upsets happening left right and center. I got invested in so many teams and so many players. I learned so much about the game over these past four weeks: about the rules (like Ted Lasso, I too would come to finally understand offsides, thanks VAR🙄), about the players and their histories, about the pains and gains that have been taking place in this sport around the world.

I learned all of this and more from you all who welcomed me into this community with open arms. From the anon in my inbox that first night on January 21st who kindly corrected my mispelling of Alyssa Naeher's name (Nair lol), to all of the mutuals I've made whose posts I found funny and informative and made it so easy to get more invested in this sport. I started posting so much that about a week into the tournament I finally made a dedicated sideblog, named after my favorite player, who I got to see score two goals when I was at Children's Mercy Park on April 30th! I was surprised when every one of you followed me back, after all I'm just some guy that just got into woso, surely there must be more to it than that right?

But there wasn't. You all saw me standing in the corner and moved over to make room for me. You said here, come sit down with us, there's a game on and you can't see it from over there! You handed me drinks and snacks and made me feel included like it was nothing. I've been looking forward to this world cup all year, and thanks to you it was the highlight of my whole year.

I cheered, I gasped, I cried, and I did it with all of you, which was more than I ever expected or hoped for, and I'm so grateful. If I stopped watching football today, I would take this experience with me for the rest of my life. And I certainly don't plan to stop watching it any time soon! This world cup might not have reached the conclusion any of us wanted, but the journey to get here truly was a life-changing one for me.

Thank you for including me in this wonderful community, I love you all so much, and I can't wait to watch more football with you. 🫶🫶🫶

#and I take full responsibility for the England/Australia match #wwc 2023 #woso #woso community #personal

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davidfarland · 1 year

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How Burnout Made Me A Better Author

[by Michelle Pennigton]

Burnout. Few words spark such dread among writers. Avoiding it, surviving it, and recovering from it are each the focus of many articles, blogs, podcasts, books, and conference classes. Still, most of us have or will find ourselves grappling with it. This struggle resembles a hiker who has fallen off an unforeseen cliff and now clings to the sheer rockface with desperate, failing fingers, unable to pull themselves up.

I speak from experience.

While attempting to write at the very edge of my abilities and capacity in an effort to release rapidly and reach a six-figure a year income, I ran headlong into the pandemic. All at once, I found myself—an introvert—constantly around my family, needing to manage virtual school for four children, and facing an onslaught of mental health dilemmas between the six of us. My daily word count became a determined slog until just thinking about writing flooded me with resistance.

My publishing schedule and sales took a massive hit while so many of my close author friends and community connections were successfully writing and earning at dizzying rates. It was impossible not to feel like a failure.

That is the two-pronged attack of the burnout monster. It injures both your productivity and your self-esteem. The tailspin of frustration, resentment, jealousy, and dejection is not easy to break out of. So, yes! Avoid it at all costs if you can.

However, if it should happen to you, don’t despair. For me, burnout proved to be a blessing in disguise. In fact, I am emerging from it as better author, and so can you.

Burnout saved me from myself.

Like so many other authors, I rushed headlong into the swiftly flowing waters of rapid releasing without taking stock of my capabilities or the strength of the current. As a result, I enjoyed more commercial success than I had previously dreamed possible, but at the same time, I suffered personally in ways I hadn’t expected. The dangerous part was that I didn’t realize the beating I was taking as I was carried along in the rush of success. Who knows how great the toll would have been if burnout hadn’t dragged me out of the water—unwillingly—before I drowned.

Only once I’d been stranded unceremoniously on the shore while everyone else continued on without me, was I able to take stock of myself. My stress, back pain, a chaotic household, disconnection in my relationships, toxic absorption in my work, a skewed perspective on success, and depleted creative energy all became painfully apparent.

Burnout made me rest and replenish.

At first, the resistance I felt toward writing felt like the death of my career. But since pushing against it made things worse, I gave in and simply took it easy on myself. During this forced period of rest, I discovered Asian dramas—especially Korean, Chinese, and Japanese dramas. With new languages to hear, cultures to explore, and story-telling structures to follow, I was able to simply immerse myself in the experience.

I realized later that I had been expending all of my creative energy without refilling it. I had become a dry, thirsty sponge, and dramas were a fountain of living water. Here was a new source of wonder and magic that demanded nothing from me and gave until I was filled and longing to write again.

Burnout forced me to question everything.

As hope and desire to write returned, I realized how delicate my creative health was. Unwilling to put it at risk again, I had to determine what had gone wrong so I could protect myself going forward. The most basic questions brought surprising answers.

What makes me happy?

As I sorted through my cluttered soul, I pared my answer down to peace and connection.

While I had been chasing after sales for financial peace of mind, I realized that most of the things that brought me actual peace didn’t require money: time spent with my family, nature, music, spirituality, and solitude. Of course, paying the bills and being able to travel made all of those things easier, but I now saw that there was a tipping point at which my business pursuits had gone from supporting my needs to distracting me from them. I saw that the more time and effort I put into chasing success, the more it impacted my relationships and health.

These answers led to another question. What does success look like for me?

Burnout took me back to my roots.

Getting caught up in the author rat race had also stolen the joy of writing from me. And that was not something I could allow to continue. In trying to discover how that had happened, I realized that I’d severely neglected my inner artist. So, in order to reclaim that part of me, I went back to the beginning. Who was I as an artist before my business-self took over? Both roles are important, but they needed to be equally yoked together.

As I thought back to my early days as an author, I was surprised at how many important parts of my creative process I had abandoned along the way in order to write faster. My craft had improved enough that my writing was still strong—perhaps better than ever—but the process of writing was not as satisfying or fulfilling. The ideal creative process will renew your energy instead of draining it.

For me, that meant I needed to go back to creating music playlists and vision boards for my projects. I needed more scope and space for daydreaming. Being more grounded in real-life experiences and soaking in the world through my senses had to become intentional again. While I was still capable of describing a thunderstorm from my desk, standing in the rain first would provide an immersive, detail-rich experience that would benefit both me and my readers.

Burnout led me to a better way forward.

Instead of being the end of the road, burnout helped me find a better path to follow. Sure, I have battle scars that will likely impact me for a long time to come, if not forever. Instead of being able to reliably produce five to eight thousand words a day, my new reality is being thrilled with two thousand. My sales are down and my fans are either impatient or forgetting me. I must battle demons of comparison that won’t stay down no matter how many times I beat them back into their cages.

But this is only a moment in time, not my whole career. That’s the perspective that I’d lost before. I hope to have thirty years or more ahead of me, so all of my struggles are just part of the journey instead of being a dead end.

Because of my detour through burnout, I now have wisdom and experience to serve as my compass. Instead of haphazardly chasing after success fireflies, I am determined to stay on my path. I may not know the exact destination, but I trust that my new guiding principles will take me somewhere meant for me. Those are:

Joyful Writing

Work/Life Balance

Sustainable Growth

Let me be clear: Rapid-release strategies and ambitious financial goals were not the problem. Writing to market doesn’t exclude writing for love. I am not denouncing any of them. In fact, I believe in them and will still apply them throughout my career. However, I learned the hard way that an author’s capacity for workload, stress, and creative output varies by person and the circumstances they find themselves in at any given time. The problem is not with any single tool, method, or strategy. The problem comes when we are not mindful enough of our core needs. And nothing will remind you of them faster than burnout.

So, if you find yourself clinging to the side of a cliff or drowning in a raging river—or whichever of my mixed metaphors resonated with you—rest assured that while burnout may break you, it also has important lessons for you to learn. It won’t be easy. At times it will feel like a heavy, suffocating black hole. But you can emerge from it stronger, wiser, and more equipped for the journey ahead of you than you ever would have been without it.

About Michelle Pennington

Michelle Pennington is a USA Today Bestselling author of clean romance. Because she was never good at making decisions, she writes contemporary, young adult, historical, romcom, and fantasy. The genre might change but her characters will always be falling in love. When not writing, she spends her days quoting movies with her husband and making messes faster than her four kids. She used to have a lot of hobbies, but then she got addicted to k-dramas. Michelle also teaches and supports other authors as one of The Writing Gals.

Visit her website: https://www.michelle-pennington.com

Join The Writing Gals’ Facebook Group.

Watch The Writing Gals’ YouTube Channel.

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