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puredivinity · 3 years

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a moonlit confession | eren jaeger

❣︎ hi hi!! welcome to the longest thing i’ve written and a project that was spawned by, and added onto by @jean-does-not-have-a-horseface and @gojosweets. i adore them very much and without them, i probably wouldn’t have done this ngl. this is a very not historically accurate greek mythology au <3

❣︎ warnings: nsfw (18+), very slight breeding kink, mutual masturbation, cunnilingus, handjobs, very soft post return sex, slight and non-descriptive mentions of death. it’s also unedited.

❣︎ word count: 3.2k

To you, there is nothing worse than yearning for your lover.

A lover that you are unsure of.

Wondering if they’re okay, if they’re breathing, if they’re alive. If they’ve made it out in one piece, physically. It would be a miracle if they made it out whole mentally, knowing good and well how harsh the trials of battle are. You remind yourself that he is tough, and that he is strong. He is your warrior; your love, your beauty, your grace. He is there for you in all realms, despite not being there physically. You are together forever and always, in spirit and in body.

The wind blows the fabric of your gown, picking it up off the floor of the balcony beneath you. The coldness of the surface causes you to hiss when your feet make contact with it, but it’s quickly pushed to the back of your mind, buried beneath the flurry of uprising thoughts. Where is he? You wonder, painful thoughts tainting your mind. Your fingers curl around the rail of the balcony that overlooks the rest of your dwelling -- the beautiful home Eren’s parents had gifted you as a present of your union. The union of which they blessed and honored.

The moonlight tonight was of no other night. It shone brightly and beautifully, high up in the sky. It overlooked you, basking you in its glow. It illuminated all that was high and below, and it became your beacon of hope. For when Eren was gone, the moon was what you turned to. He was your sun, and you were his moon. It is what he told you the night before he left; your last night together where all you could do was hold one another, love each other, cling on like your last thread of life. It could’ve been his, for all you know.

“I miss you,” You speak out into the wind and it carries your words with its breeze, high and low, but not forgotten. “I miss you so much, Eren, I--” your words halt there, fearing the worst. Fearing to speak the worst, fearing to think the worst. In your heart, you know he is alive. You feel it in your bones. But your mind is a different story. You cast your eyes downward to gaze into the everclear pool of water below you, tracing the fountains with your sorrowful gaze. It is clear enough that you can see your own reflection, down to every detail. Every tear that pools and threatens to spill down your cheeks, the glossy and gloomy gaze your eyes hold -- all of it.

You are about to make a plea to the highest god when you make out a face beside yours, that looks strangely like Eren’s and strong, sturdy arms engulf you from behind.

At first, you don’t believe it. It feels unreal, although it is all you have ever wanted. All you could remember wanting since he had left you.

His eyes met yours in the pristine water below you and your heart leapt in your chest. It smelled like him, looked like him, and even felt like him. The familiar arms he held you in, day and night, day to day, night to morning. The whisper of your name was careful against your skin as he pressed your body to his, fingers breaching the thin fabric of your gown. He was still clad in his armor, bronze and firm, and you wonder if it hurts him.

A kiss is pressed to the side of your neck. He is trying to get you to look at him, to bless him with those beautiful eyes of yours, but you will not. He wonders if you’re mad at him, but one glance at the way you’ve melted into him tells him otherwise.

“I’m here,” he confirms, pulling away from you and slowly turning you to look at him, “Do you see me, Princess?”

Of course you see him, you think, but do you really see him?

You have missed him for forever and ever, yet you cannot speak a word to him. You have imagined speaking to him, loving him for days on end, and you cannot say a word. Perhaps it’s the shock, or the sheer bewilderment you feel, but regardless - you are speechless, and rightfully so.

He takes your hand in his, carefully brushing the back of yours with his thumb as he brings it up to his chest. He places it over his bare chest, armor long removed, resting in the place it used to be. Right over his heart, right where his heart thumps in his chest, Where it pounds in his chest, where it lives in his chest. A sign of life that you almost mistake for your imagination, no matter how real he may feel.

But then, you feel it. You feel it the second you look at him, the second your eyes stare into those beautiful jade green orbs. And you fall. Your tears came quickly, rushing out of you, and it is then that you step forward and wrap your arms tightly around him, ear pressed to his chest. You feel him. You see him. He is real. He is your lover, and he has returned to you.

Eren wastes no time in embracing you just as tightly, if not more. His hands clutch the material of your nightgown, and it brings him down to earth; grounds him like no other. It is a warm feeling, the feeling of recognition, the feeling of familiarity, the feeling of being home. But it is not one that he would ever, ever want to relinquish.

“I love you,” the words fall from both your lips at the same time, desperate to tell the other what you couldn’t just hours prior, “I love you so much.”

He sweeps you right off your feet and right up into his arms, walking you backward to the balcony of which you just left, and standing firmly between your spread legs. He leans forward and engulfs you in a kiss, hands working their way from up your shoulders, where he takes his time in caressing you -- fingertips making sure to hit every groove and smooth in your skin -- down to your waist, thumbing your gown. You fear not for a second that you will fall, for your utmost trust is placed within him. And so, you use the balcony for leverage as he works you, sighing prettily into his mouth while he strokes you.

His fingers carefully undo your ties, the silk threads sliding off and undone, leaving you bare to the moonlight above you. And, oh glory, is it a sight. Eren pulls away from you, admiring the way you look underneath it. The soft glow of the light hits you well -- the way your chest heaves, rising and falling with slightly labored movements, the way your lips are parted with light breaths from the kissing, the way your hair is splayed perfectly behind you, and you are perfect in that moment.

Your beauty rivals that of Aphrodite, and even then could you give her a long run for her money.

He presses long, open mouthed kisses to your warm skin, leaving behind a beautiful sucking noise as he did so. He moved from shoulder to shoulder, to your collarbone, gently nipped at a few pieces with his teeth, basking in the delightful noises you offered him. Drinking you in like he was ravenous, hungry for your touch, your breath, your everything. For you were his rain on a dry night.

You had just one worry in the midst of it all - the servants. They would come to certainly check on your wellbeing, they usually did so around this time of night. You reached a hand to softly push him off and he looked up at you, eyes full of concern.

“The servants,” you breathed, but he only shook his head at you.

“I dismissed them earlier, before I came,” he quelled your worries with a gentle whisper, soft eyes staring right back into yours. “They won’t be back, Princess,” He assured you, and his words washed away any uneasiness you felt prior. It washed over you like a wave, pushing any bad feelings away from the surface - leaving him a clean slate to build on.

After a nod of confirmation from you and a soft thumb stroke of his cheek, he continues. He realizes how much he has missed you, and it hits him heavier than it did before he returned. It is now, when you are underneath him and those pretty moans and soft cries of his name come from you, that he truly understands the weight of your absence. His absence from you.

Warm lips kiss from the middle of your collarbone, stopping at the top of your cleavage where they rest for a while. A moment in which Eren is sure to look up at you, to catch your gaze before he continues. Through your half-lidded stare, eyes hazy with want and fervor, you meet him. Eren takes his moment to press a chaste kiss to the top and give a soft bite of love to the raised flesh of your right breast, before taking your nipple in his mouth. His tongue brushes over the pert bud, dipping the center of his tongue to get it right, to make your back arch in that special way. And it does, so beautifully, pressed flush against his front as you sigh into the air, eyes fluttering shut in complete and utter bliss. It is your first time together since he has returned, and it is all about you. Forever about you.

You call out his name, and he releases your drenched bud with a soft ‘pop’ of his lips, sliding over to the other one. The ends of his hair brush your skin, igniting a trail of goosebumps to follow. Your hand moves from its place on the balcony to rest on his shoulder, softly digging your nails in the flesh of his back. You call out to him again, rocking your hips slowly while he takes his time with you. He is careful, he is gentle, but oh goodness is he a tease. He is leaving you itching, wanting for more, almost so bad that you’re willing to beg, but he would give it all to you. Give it all for you.

You do not have to ask, he will deliver.

“I love you,” he says to you when he pulls away, his hands flutter down to your thighs and lifts them off the ground and up over his shoulders. He sinks to his knees and presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, all while maintaining eye contact with you. He can feel the heat on his face; the warmth of your arousal, your want for him.

Eren curls his hands around your thigh, holding your legs open for him. And then, he takes you. He licks slowly up your slit, glicking the tip of his tongue over your clit a few times. He laps and laps at you, drinking in your taste and flavor as it simmers on the flat of his tongue. Your moans emerge into the wind, and for a second you wonder if the servants can hear you. You experience a shadow of embarrassment at the pleasureful noises you’re making, for you’re sure they know what you’re up to by now, but it’s pushed out of the way by Eren. He pulls you right out of your head and back to him, and it’s then that you notice that you’ve been unconsciously grinding on his face.

You go to shoot out an apology for your actions, but Eren stops you before you can even say a word.

“Come for me,” he utters, yet you hear him loud and clear, “Come for me, Princess.” His request is more of a plea, urging for you to unravel beneath him. Your heart flutters at his words, and you comply. His soft spoken words send you falling over, your release washing over you in short and smooth waves while you sigh into the wind. His name falls from your lips over and over, and he continues his actions until you give him a gentle nudge to stop.

He’s pulled you from beneath the surface of the water, and he’s clutching you carefully, like a seashell on the sand.

Until he’s ready to dip you back in again.

Eren rises back to his feet, letting your legs fall from his shoulders until he picks them up and curls them around his waist. He is face to face with you again, and you can adore him. The way his eyes shine, brightly with his love for you, the slickness of his lips from devouring you, and the way he tastes when he kisses you -- it is unmatched and unrivalled. It is one like no other.

Your legs are secure around him, holding him tightly and locking in place so he cannot leave. As if he would leave. He whispers a declaration of love for you, one that you’ve heard a million times before but cannot tire of. One that is music to your ears and overpowers any and every other thought you have. Your center of focus is him, and his is you.

Hands thread through his locks, settling at the base of his scalp. You press them between your fingertips while your forehead rests upon his, gazing into his eyes and drinking him in like an oasis. The sight of him is beautiful. He is beautiful. Your lover, your one and only. You have to admit, war did him well. He was a sight to behold, a vision to see. One you want to treasure.

Your hand falls to where he is hard beneath your touch, running your finger up the length of his bare shaft. He shudders underneath your feather light stroke, and his eyes plead for more. For you to touch him, for you to love him. And you do.

Your hand wraps around it, tugging slowly and steadily. His hips sway with your movement, rocking with every twist and maneuver of your hand, following it perfectly - syncing with the rhythm. His moans are beautiful, you think, and in htat moment you want nothing more to please him, and to show him the same love he showed you. Your hand still rests in his hair, fingernails lightly scratching his scalp. Lovingly, you gaze at him. You admire him for what he is while he sits in the heavenly moonlight, keening perfectly for you. You can tell he is close - he knows he is close, but he stops you. A gentle grasp of your wrist stills your hand, and he tells you, “Inside.”

You nod and retract your hand, allowing him to shift between you and he sits at your entrance, head slipping between your folds. The slick of your core coats it, as trails past, ensuring to brush your clit - one, two, three times, each time eliciting a noise louder than the previous one.

“Eren,” you sighed his name, and his eyes glimmered with delight. He let out a pleased hum, continuing for just a second longer before he pressed a kiss to your lips in compliance, soaking up the gasp that escaped you once he’d reached it. His right hand cupped the back of your knee and his left perched upon your thigh, eyes focused on you as he entered you. He watched your face contort in pleasure when he did so, and his grip on you never relented.

He sank into your core, pleasurable keens falling from him, mixing with your similar sounds of delight. You felt wonderful, and so did he. He gave you two slow, short thrusts to further bury himself in you, and his breath fanned your face. He sank in fully, holding still for a moment. Holding still to breathe in this moment, to enjoy the feeling of you after being without you for so long.

Eren remembers the time he was without you - he was out, fighting for war, fighting for peace. One by one, he watched his comrades fall, in front of his very eyes. It was horror on those battlefields, on those streets. He was terrified of the thought of meeting the same fate they did. The same misfortune they did. Throughout his time fighting, throughout his time away, all he thought about was you and how he could not wait to come home.

And now that he is home, he doesn’t want to leave. Not alone. He doesn’t want to leave without giving you something to remember him by, without starting something with you. Without giving you the family that the two of you had always dreamed of, the one that he promised you he’d return to the night before he left. What you two laid awake in bed talking about, when he kissed your fingertips and honored you with a promise, honored you with his word. He’ll be damned if he goes off without that.

He pushes your body up against the railing of the balcony, still holding your leg open and he pulls out, dragging himself slowly out of your dripping heat, and then pushes back in. You moan, and your eyes fall down to where you connect with him; become one with him. Eren moves his hips with purpose and desire, thrusting steadily in your throbbing heat. He fills you, spreading your walls wide with every thrust, every movement, and you feel that unmistakable flutter in the depths of your belly. He hits it just right, tip fluttering against the spot that had you teetering, hanging just over your release.

“Eren,” you moaned his name and nearly melted at the look he gave you, “I love you. I love you so so so--Yes!” you babbled, not caring how loud you got or who could hear you. Eren felt your words with his entire being, pleased to know that you felt just as good, if not better than he did. Pleased to know that he was the source.

“I wanna put a baby in you, ‘Rincess,” he tells you, as he picks his other hand up off your thigh, and moves it downward to your slick folds.

Eren used his thumb to rub your swollen and puffy clit. “Come for me,” He pleaded with you once more, “Come for me, please, Princess.” Two short rubs did it in for you, and a string of pleased cries with his name fell from you as you came. His eyes never left yours as he filled you, and spilling himself deep inside of you.

The comedown was pleasing - the two of you remained like that, holding each other for as long as you possibly could. A thin layer of sweat coated your bodies, but neither of you cared. You were happy to just be in each other’s arms after making peaceful love.

“I want a family with you,” Eren confessed to you, and his confession took you by surprise. “I don’t want to leave again. Not without a family, not without the thing we’ve always dreamed of. You deserve that.”

His moonlit confession.

tagging: @levilaughlove69, @proseofpandemonium, @starstruckkittensweets, @rainteslerrrr, @alrightberries, @redhairedace, @jean-does-not-have-a-horseface, @jaegerbrat, @asterroidd, @imonmylastthreadofsanity, @hexbestfriend, @thethyri

#eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger x reader smut #eren x reader #eren x reader smut #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager x reader smut #aot x reader #snk x reader #aot smut #snk smut #tw: breeding #tw: breeding kink

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stray-kids-react · 3 years

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Having surgery scars

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° You had no idea about Chan's crush on you, not many people did. The only person who knew about his crush was himself and his best friend Felix. You never thought he could love you due to how you saw yourself.

° You never wore cropped tops or anything that had the chance of rising up too high, even during the summer. He knew about your scar, but never saw it or knew how much you hated it.

° One day he was going to visit you by surprise, using the spare key you gave him to his advantage. You walked out in a cropped pajama shirt and underwear, not expecting your best friend/crush to be in the room.

° You scar was on your stomach, it was deep and noticeable to whoever walked by when itt wasn't hidden under clothes. You thought it gave off a negative impression, while Chan thought it gave you a unique beauty.

° Before you could cover yourself up, Chan gently embraced you in a hug. Calming your conscious, his fingers gently tracing over the scar. He placed multiple kisses to your head, asking you why you are so self conscious.

"Why can't you see how beautiful you are?"

Lee Know

° You were very clumsy all throughout your life, constantly falling and running into things. But the worst scenario bad to be when you fell and someone kicked you straight in the face.

° This led to you having to get surgery on your broken nose, leaving a scar on the right side of your bridge. It wasn't overly noticeable unless you were very close to your face, which Minho happened to be.

° He wondered how he never noticed this scar before, especially since he loves giving you kisses on the top of your nose. He knew you were clumsy, but wondered how your only scars ended up in such a specific place.

° Minho gently traced over the scars, finding it cute how you scrunch your nose immediately at the touch of his fingertips. Before you scrunched your nose, he noticed that your nose must've been stitched.

° He assumed you did this by accident, by either falling or hitting your face with something. Minho was surprised to hear that someone did this to you intentionally, wondering why someone would hurt you.

"I'm losing hope in humanity at this point."

Changbin

° You has multiple scars on your arms due to an accident you had as a child, this is why you'd constantly wear long sleeve outfits. Feeling that people may become worried or grossed out if they ever saw them.

° But after being asked out by Changbin, you knew you couldn't hide your scars from him for too much longer. He didn't seem suspicious of your long sleeves, until you spent your first summer together.

° You were both sweaty messes who were slumped in front of multiple fans, he was just in his boxers while you had no pants but still your long sleeve shirt. You were turning red by how hot you were becoming.

° He looked at you astonished as how you hadn't passed out from the heat yet, but Changbin was mostly worried since he knew it wouldn't be long til you hit that point. So he moved the fan closer to you.

° You had enough of the heat, telling him to look away as you took of your shirt. Turning your back to him once you said it was okay to look. Changbin noticed your arms even if you tried to hide them, they were gorgeous.

"You will always be a super model to me."

Hyunjin

° You had a few scars on your neck, and you were embarrassed to admit where they came from. Even if you were close to Hyunjin and loved him dearly, you still felt silly admitting it came from a drunk bar fight.

° Hyunjin was curious to where the scars came from, but didn't want to pressure you into telling him in case it was from something traumatic. So instead he would just press soft kisses along the scars.

° You felt bad when he admitted ab embarrassing story of his to you, since he was revealing a moment that stuck with him in a bad way. Yet you were still hiding your scar story from him as he waited patiently.

° His puppy eyes and sweet smile made its mark on your heart, the story leaving your mouth hesitantly. You couldn't look him in the eyes, your cheeks were bright red from embarrassment. You felt stupid.

° He stroked your heated cheeks, turning your head so you'd make eye contact. All of your worries washed away when there wasn't a hint of judgement in his eyes. Only pure love and adoration were held in them.

"I won't judge a simple drunken accident."

Han

° You had scars all over your hands from a burning accident with a kettle, you were self conscious of your hands. But tried to hide those feelings when around other people, not wanting to make them worried.

° But your best friend Jisung noticed when something bothered you, your shimmering eyes would dimmer whenever someone would give you nicknames like 'Freddy Kruger' or 'The human torch'.

° Jisung loved you, even if you were too dense to catch onto that fact. He loves you and wouldn't let someone make you feel like garbage, which led to him defending you countless times throughout the years.

° You had this one fake friend that always rubbed him the wrong way, she would go out of her way to make fun of you and praise herself. Calling you ugly, and getting grossed out whenever you touched something.

° During a game of truth or dare, she dared anyone in the room to hold hands with you. No one was stepping forward, until Jisung crawled over. He didn't just hold them, but he also placed kisses along your knuckles.

"I would've done this without the dare."

Felix

° You were never self conscious over the scars on your legs, if anything Felix usually had more self doubt moments about himself than you did about yourself. Which led to you giving this angel SO MUCH LOVE. (He deserves the world ngl)

° But when visiting Felix back stage, a make up artist mistook you as an idol and suggested finding something to cover your scars. This left an unfamiliar sting to your heart, never thinking it was an issue.

° You say in one of the chairs back stage, placing your coat over your legs as you awaited your boyfriend. It wasn't long before Stray Kids were ushered to where you were sitting, all of them hyped and energetic.

° Felix knew you well, immediately suspicious as to why you were hiding your legs. He had many scenarios in his head, you were cold, period problem, hiding a present, no underwear. His mind was racing.

° But when he saw your sad smile, he knew it had something to do with your scars. Someone must've said something insensitive, and they hurt his favorite person. This wasn't the first time this happened.

"Don't hide your beauty from me, lovely."

Seungmin

° Seungmin witnessed how you got a scar on your back, you were running to catch the bus when you tripped over your feet and rammed into the glass of the bus station waiting area. Causing many gashes to appear.

° He rushed you to the hospital, watched the stitches and bandages go on, helped you up from the bed, helped you go to sleep, gave you medication for the pain. He made sure you were in perfect condition.

° Seungmin felt terrible that you got so severely injured, even though he couldn't do anything to prevent it from happening. He still felt guilty, even when you reassured him that it will be okay and will just leave scars.

° Scars were left on your back, and everytime he witnessed them he felt a slight ping to his heart. Wishing he could've done something to help you, but he doesn't want to relive that moment so he tries to ignore it.

° You asked Seungmin for a massage after a long day, laying down on the couch as he sat on top of your legs. His hands traced down your scars, rubbing the oils onto them gently as if they still hurt you.

"You look like a cute little tiger cub."

Jeongin

° You sometimes forgot that you had scars on your thighs, only remembering them if you see them. They don't effect you in any way, especially since they came form a bike accident when you were very young.

° You and Jeongin both had long days at work, so you both wanted to have a relaxing bath together. This was one of the moments where you forgot about your scars, until Jeongin pointed them out.

° He was worried they were recent, concerned if someone did this or if you did it to yourself. But you calmed him down with a kiss, before explaining it was from an accident with a bike when you very young.

° Jeongin covered you in bubbles, before cupping water in his hands and washing them away. He started around your thighs, rubbing them lightly after they were washed off. He felt a bit bad for bringing them up.

° You did the same treatment for Jeongin, relaxing in his arms for a while until the water was beginning to cool. He dried you off, playfully whipping your thighs with the towel, giggling as you stared in shock.

"It's part of my drying treatment baby."

#stray kids #kpop #changbin #skz scenarios #stray kids reactions #han jisung #hyunjin #jeongin #lee know #bang chan #felix skz #skz seungmin #skz requests #skz reactions

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writefightandflightclub · 4 years

Text

Sink then float (Poe Dameron x GN reader)

Summary: Poe comes back from a mission to find that reader is experiencing a depressive episode, and he does what he can to take care of them while they’re sick. Hurt / comfort. Angst / slight fluff.

Author’s note: Was feeling super crappy at the start of the week (I’m ok now!) and this angst-bomb came out of me. Pleased to have finally written something, though it tackles a tough topic. I’ve tried to be as sensitive as possible while writing about depression, and while it’s something I have experienced in the past, of course it manifests differently for everyone. I have drawn on some personal experience to write this, but it is a fic. Therefore, it is necessarily outside of my direct experience, which opens up the possibility I may have gotten something wrong. Therefore, if you think there’s anything I’ve handled in a way that is harmful (even honest mistakes can be mistakes) I’m happy for you to send me an ask outlining this so I can correct and do better.

Warnings: It deals with reader in a depressive episode, and it is from reader’s POV. As such, it is pretty angsty, ngl, as reader’s thought process is in a bad place. The piece grows more hopeful as it progresses, and ends on a hopeful note, however it may still be difficult reading. I’ve actively tried to acknowledge in the text where reader’s thought-process is skewed by being sick e.g. when they say they are worthless, I’ve tried to directly counter this as it’s not objectively true. The last thing I want is for anyone to feel worse reading this, so I’ve tried not to validate reader’s most difficult thoughts (though what they’re going through is valid and it is valid for reader to be experiencing those thoughts)! That said, please take care when reading, as some of the feelings and thoughts set out may be triggering. Also, whilst there is no direct mention or suicidal thoughts or ideation, I am also warning for that, as there is some crossover in thought patterns. Ultimately, this is a fic about Poe being there to comfort reader, but reader finding that shred of hope inside themseleves, amidst feelings of hopelessness. I didn’t want to suggest that Poe could “fix” reader, so yes, they are still depressed at the end, but more comforted and hopeful than at the start. Sorry for all the warnings, but I wanted to be clear so you can make an informed decision on whether to read. Please stay safe!

GIF by @twillight. Yowzers, it’s PRETTY AF.

There’s no poetry any more.

There are only syllables. Vowels like an orange in your mouth. Consonants rattling between your teeth. You speak only of sleep. Your words hollow like a worn, sprung mattress; inviting rest but offering no comfort.

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

There is no art any more.

Not even in a thousand burning suns. Not even as you tip your face up to the milky black. Not even in his face; that face you love. You look, and you feel numb.

Numb. Numb.

No music.

Birds sing. It’s just noise, ringing in the hollow of your body.

Noise.

You want to sleep. It is all you want, and you merely want it because you want nothing else.

No dance in your body. No motion; only stillness.

No fight left in you...

What is left, then?

Nothing?

Nothing left.

Yes.

Nothing but the robust pang of hunger.

Nothing but the parching thirst.

Nothing but this weight on your chest, pressing you to the bed.

Nothing but the refresher door taunting you because you can’t cross the chasm in five steps.

Nothing but the guilt and self-hatred, and false, invasive belief that you are worthless.

Guilt because you...

Can’t.

So much then? So much where there is “nothing”?

You are simply so full of empty that it has pushed everything good down. It has pushed you down until you are sunken. Until you are yelling at yourself from below water, sound muted.

Everything muted.

Colours. Feelings. Life. Love.

Worst of all, your love will be home soon.

Home and sleep is all you...

Home and you haven’t even...

You almost think about ...

You sigh.

You can’t.

You can’t complete the...

You feel nothing, and yet guilty tears fall to the pillow. A part of you understands you are not to blame for being sick, and still, there is this guilt.

You have him.

Poe. Poe. Poe.

So, shouldn’t you be happy?

Why can’t you be happy?

Love shakes the inside of your chest, rattling against the bars of your ribs and wanting to be known. Reminding you of what you lack. It hurts. Everything hurts when it flexes, even love. Especially love. It flexes and it feels only restriction. It feels only weight on its chest. Such pain.

He will be home soon.

You love him. You know this, intellectually. And yet, you don’t want to see him. Don’t want think of him. Because you don’t want to be seen by him.

Not like this.

You don’t want to let him down. You don’t want to break his heart by meeting his loving gaze so hollow. As if he is not sunshine. As if he is not a thousand suns blazing; and yet, instead of poetry and art and music in your heart when you think of him, there are mere syllables, images, noise. There are those vowels again, large like an orange in your mouth, consonants rattling in between your teeth as you cry muffled sounds into the pillow.

He’ll be home soon. You don’t know how soon. You don’t know how long you have layed like this.

Still, all you can do is lie empty, where the room brims with mess and misery and shadow.

All you can do is lie in this empty room, where you brim full with sorrow.

It is enough. This is enough. You are enough, though you can’t see it.

And so, because you can’t see it, can’t feel it, you bring your hands to your face, despairing. Your fingers find your hair, and it’s dirty.

You just want to sleep. You want to tug the covers back over your head and disappear but..

There is a rap at the door.

He’s home now.

A soft knock, then inistent.

He’s back.

After a week apart he’ll be so...

...disappointed to see you. At least, that’s what you mind is telling you to believe.

You turn away and close your eyes as he pushes through into the dark room. You cannot look at his sunshine. It is too bright, like the round circle of sun at the mouth of a deep well. You cannot look, so your eyes scrunch closed as he flicks on a lamp, and you hear his feet deftly pick through the mess on your floor.

You try not to look.

You try not to hear.

You try not to exist.

How can feeling nothing still hurt? How can you wish to feel even less than this, just to blunt your pain?

Still, you do feel something. You feel his sturdy weight settle on to the bed beside you.

You do hear. You hear him sigh.

Yes, he sighs, but it’s gentle, concerned, and his hand finds your shoulder, his touch like warm sand on your cold, goosepimpled skin. Rough and full of sunshine.That blessed sunshine you cannot -at the present moment-comprehend.

“Honey?” he asks, and you hear his voice, soft and tender. You hear his love, but you can’t feel it. No, you can’t.

His voice should ignite you. There should be blood moving beneath your skin but...

There is nothing. There is nothing in your mouth. Nothing but bones in your body.

“Honey, look at me, please?”

You peel your eyes open, bracing yourself for the disappointment you expect to find carved into his face. His eyes examine you, assess you, eyes flitting around the room to understand how bad things are. The state of you, the state of the room. The half-filled bottle of meds at your bedside- at least you’ve been keeping those up. That’s something. Something where you would insist there is nothing.

That look. That look in your eyes, your pupils like bleak, empty wells he tips his sunlight into, and yet he can’t reach the depths of you. Can’t warm all the way through, even as his eyes brim with tears and love.

He doesn’t look surprised, at least. He ran into one of the others first, then; Leia or Finn or Rey. They warned him. Warned him that you are worthless, a burden. No, you are not those things, you try to remember. They will have warned him that you are sick.

Suddenly, looking at him, you have words.

“I’m sorry,” you croak, your mouth as dry as sandpaper.

“Why in the hell are you sorry, baby?” he asks gently, surprised now, his eyes searching yours. How does he do that? How does he look at you as if you are beautiful, even like this? Perhaps you are beautiful, even like this. Yes, you are. He sees it when you can’t.

“Because I...” you look away from him and sigh, even these simple words taxing your energy,”...couldn’t....”

Couldn’t get out of bed.

Couldn’t want to.

Couldn’t be happy when he came home.

Couldn’t want to.

Poe doesn’t judge you though. Not for this.

He’s Poe. Of course he doesn’t. Poe knows that people are not to be judged on such blameless matters. People are not the sum of their illnesses and struggles. You are so much more to him. You are everything to him, in fact.

He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. Always will. That doesn’t change when you’re sick. Why would it? Why would it?

“You did just fine, honey,” he insists through a thin, watery smile. “I’m still proud of you. I’m still glad to see you.”

You look at him.

He looks back.

You know you should feel poetry in it, like all the other times he’s come home. When your skin and your heart and your breath and your words and your lips were alive. When your body danced with his.

“It’s bad this time?” he asks. “Like before?”

“I guess,” you croak.

You hate yourself. You hate yourself even though you dont deserve that hate for a second. You hate yourself for what you believe Poe must think of you, but you try to remember that your brain lies, and that Poe tells the truth. You try to remember everything he tells you over and over. You try to remember hope. Rebellions are built on hope, after all, and you? You are a Rebel; therefore, you know you must fight this too. A small, vanishing part of you knows that you can fight it, even if a louder voice in your head tells you you can’t. A voice with bad intentions. This sickness.

Still, you always promise Poe you’ll try. You always try. Have been trying. Even the refresher door becomes something that taunts you, a chasm between you and it as you try to make it there. You always try. Regardless, Poe’s always proud of you.

“Can I hold you?” he asks, his warmth and his unsurpassed beauty evident to you even now, even if it you cannot muster any ready response to it.

You shake your head.

“I’m disgusting.”

“Kriff, me too,” he says, his tone natural and easy, and refusing to shrink away from your pain- from the temporarary reality of you, as some do. “Came straight here. Five days on a mission without a shower? We can stink together,” he adds, with a tentative, lopsided smile, hoping to tease one from you too.

Poe has no trouble being hopeful, where that has never come easily to you.

Still, he’s here. He’s here at your side, all warm, sandy voice and his soft, loving eyes. Even if you had been convinced he would never come back. He is here. His rough hand is swooping over your cheek. Caring for you, even though he must be so tired himself.

Your eyes grow watery and your lower lip trembles. “I should be caring for you, you shouldn’t have to come back to me like this, after fighting...”

“Hey,” he protests, his voice hushed but his tone insistent. “You’ve been fighting too, baby. We both got our missions, yeah? If you ask me, I think you got the raw end of the deal.”

He’s perfect. He’s so perfect. You will the blood to move under your skin. You will your heart to ignite, but there’s nothing.

Correction; there’s nothing yet. It will come. It will get better.

Poe’s voice and eyes soothe you as you contemplate this. “There’s nowhere else I wanna be. I just wanna hold you. Okay, baby? Missed your beautiful face. Missed you so much. I’m kriffin’ lucky to come back to you.”

Missed your smile, he might have said. You missed it too. Misplaced it.

Forgot how to...

Your thought-spiral is interupted as Poe shifts slowly on the bed, and he curls his warm, sturdy body around yours, holding his beloved little spoon tightly.

He’s wrapped around you, but you wish you could feel him.

Still, as his arms wind around you to tug you into him, you clasp his forearms tightly against your chest. A part of you knows. A part of you feels. You know how important this is. That he is home.

“Mission go ok?” you ask in monotone.

“Yeah,” he says, exhaling a tired puff of air into the back of your neck.

You wish you could melt for him and comfort him in return. You try, at least.

You try, but you feel like a gargoyle carved from stone, sorrow frozen on you. Face locked in a grimace. What mason would be so cruel as this? To make this bitter emotion permanent as stone? However, as he squeezes you tighter, fits against you so naturally, so familiar... As he touches you, you remember you are, in fact, skin and bone. You remember, even though the memory may be distant, that although your heart is heavy now, it once was light.

If it once was light it can be that way again.

He kisses your hair, even though it is dirty. He breathes you in, even though you are not clean. He loves you, and even if you think you are broken, he thinks you are perfect.

You are perfect.

His body heat suffuses through you, and you hadn’t realised how cold you were, until he warmed you. Poe had noticed, though. Poe loves you.

“Have you eaten? Drank anything?” he whispers into your neck, after a moment of holding you in gratitude and breathing deep, relieved breaths.

“Finn made me eat something,” you say, almost embarrassed, even though you know Poe does not judge you. “Managed half a ration. It was... today? I think it was today, I don’t know...”

“That’s good, baby!” he praises, entirely genuine. You feel him shift on the bed behind you, sitting up with his back against the headboard.

“C’mere,” he encourages softly, bundling you into his chest, and producing a ration bar from the pocket of his flight suit. “Split this with me while I tell you about the mission, okay?”

“Okay,” you agree, and Poe can hear that you sound a little sceptical. You doubt you have the energy to engage with him.

“I’ll tell you all the funny and horrific stories of your boyfriend’s heroics this past week. Shall I do The Thing as well?” he asks, and you swivel your head to look-up at him, seeing him tick up an eyebrow, slightly amused.

“Yes please,” you say, and you even manage the barest of smiles.

Poe proceeds to tell you all about his week as you nestle into his chest, his voice flowing through you like warm sand, pouring in and filling up just a little of the emptiness inside you. He also does The Thing, and he intersperses his animated storytelling with “your” part too, so that you don’t have to worry about upholding a conversation. So that you only have to listen, and you don’t have to worry that you aren’t able to react as you typically would.

“That would be the bit right there you’d laugh,” he says as he recounts his finest dumbassery from the mission. A small smile inches over your face, as though you are rehearsing your own emotions. Trying them out. “Yeah, I think that one would be dumb enough to get a belly laugh from you.”

He continues.

“This would be the bit you would tear off my clothes because I’m a dashing badass,” he adds as he relays how he took down a ton of TIEs. “Yeah, definitely. You’d try to get steamy right about now.”

It might be odd, but it is a comfort. It doesn’t remind you what you lack. You feel less of a deficit this way, as it reminds you what you’re capable of. That it is not always like this. That you do not always feel like this.

Will not, as soon as you’re better.

“And you, honey? Mission report?”

You sigh, trying to think through what you have done, rather than what you haven’t. Even if the things to recount don’t sound as impressive as Poe’s, he always insists the battle is no less worthy. You are worth fighting for, after all.

“Well... I got a lot of sleep. Beebs made sure I took my meds.” It’s a short list, but what could be more important than that? The fact that you held on? Then, you have your first playful thought in days. “My love came home to me, and he thinks he’s all that, but he stinks pretty bad,” you tease, as if you weren’t in an entirely equal state.

“Kriff, you’re teasing me from your sick bed?” Poe’s chest shakes against you in gentle mirth. “Brutal, honey. Kriffin’ brutal.” You have a point though, he concedes. “We should both shower though, huh? Before someone catches a whiff and reports a possible herd of bantha in room z88?”

He clocks your trepidation as your eyes flick over to that taunting refresher door.

He squeezes your arm, and somehow manages to be encouraging without even a hint of being condescending. “Pretty far, huh? You can do it yourself tomorrow, but.. d’ya want your big strong man to carry you for now, baby?”

“Yes please,” you smile, and Poe shifts once again. First, he strips off his flight suit and tosses it aside, and then he peels back the covers and helps you to stand. Then, he helps you step out of your vest and pants, before swooping you up and carrying you the five paces to the refresher door, setting you down gently. You glance back at the rumpled bed, which still calls out to you, and although it is a short distance away, you feel like you have trekked across a damn galaxy.

Poe begins to run the water warm in the shower, casually handing you a fresh tumbler of water to sip on as he does so. Then, he takes your hand and eases you under the stream of water.

Poe’s broad hands lather up your body and your hair, feeling like an act of worship as he slowly, gently, washes days of rest away from you, without question. Without expecting anything from you in return except to let him- and even then, only if you want to. He then makes short work of rinsing off his own body, searching your eyes as he does so.

Water is a funny thing, you think- it can drown and it can cleanse. It can be gentle and forceful, deep and still or turbulent. After days of drowning, it feels good simply to be clean. To begin to rise to the surface.

You reach towards that circle of sunlight at the mouth of the well. You look a little deeper into his eyes. See a little further.

“A little better?” he asks.

You nod. A little better.

You step out with him, and even though he’s tired -ragged from this mission- he dries you off.

He changes your sheets.

He picks your dirty laundry up from your floor and throws it in the basket. He throws away your trash.

He let the light in.

Literally.

Then figuratively.

Yes, you still feel so heavy. So, so heavy.

But you know. A part of you knows that lightness will come again, if you just hang on. You can see it. You can see that light at the surface, still out of reach, but not forever.

You watch him as he cares for you in all these small ways and suddenly there are vowels and consonants pushing out from beneath your ribs.

“I love you,” you say as you perch on the edge of the bed, right where he seated you, not thinking to move.

He pauses, dropping what he’s doing and coming to kneel on the floor in front of you. Tenderly, ever so tenderly, he takes your face in his hands, and his warm eyes are as intense as you’ve ever seen him, as if he can’t believe that you fought hard enough to push this love out from the depths. For him. Even though you are so sunken. Even though you cannot do it for yourself yet.

“I love you too,” he promises, entirely earnest.

You push a small smile on to your face, even though you know you need not wear masks for him.

Yes, it got bad again, but it will get better.

You hang on, and that’s enough. More than enough.

You have to hang on, because there will come a day you’ll be so glad you did.

When everything in your chest rises up and gasps for air and lets you breathe again. You will break the surface and come back strong and eager for this life.

“It scares me when you’re sick. I love you so much.”

“I’ll be okay again,” you nod. “Or, I’ll try.”

That’s all anyone could ask of you. That’s all you can ask of yourself.

That is enough. More than enough.

You are enough. You are more than enough for him.

You look at him. He looks back.

His face. His face is art. You feel all those things; poetry, art, music, dance. They’re there. They’re just sunken. Muted.

Poetry is in the pauses too. The blank lines and empty spaces; in the missed beats. You will come back to yourself, and you will make new art. Feel new things. Things more full and replete with joy. Joy can clamber from out of the deepest wells, given time. It will. It will again.

“Can I kiss you?” Poe asks shyly. “Been desperate to kiss you,” he admits, the corners of his plush lips tugging up into a smile. He is sunshine. He is beautiful. Perfect.

You nod, and his lips meet yours, chaste and gentle, and not expecting anything in return.

You try your best to feel him. To feel at all.

You close your eyes and hope you will open your heart. It has begun, with a crack to let the light in.

There is fight left in you, even if you can’t see it. Even when you can’t feel it.

“I’m so happy to be home with you,” Poe says, and his words are greeted with silence.

That’d be the bit you’d usually say... I’m so happy too. But Poe offers his words freely, and you know he doesn’t expect anything from you in return. He doesn’t expect your happiness. He simply wants to give you his.

This is not a warm story, but he is warm.

Correction; this is not a warm story, not yet.

But, oh. Oh, it will be.

It was so, in the chapter before, and it will be, in the chapter which is coming.

And you? You will thaw, I promise. Not because of him. But because of you. Because you’re a fighter. Because no matter how long you may be sunken, you will float.

Poetry takes a breath sometimes. Misses a beat. It is not a waste. It is not worthelss, this pause. Sometimes it is needed. The big breath hope takes before it floats to the surface. So, maybe there is hope.

Yes. There’s hope.

There is hope.

Hope is like the sun. If you only believe it when you see it you'll never make it through the night. Isn’t that what Leia says?

You will make it through this night.

This is how you feel now but will not be how you feel forever. You are not carved from stone. You are a fluid thing; you are made of water. Sometimes, you can drown in yourself, and sometimes you can be cleansed. You are always moving and ebbing, even if it’s so far below the surface that you cannot detect the shift.

This will shift.

Love and life and light are straining, deep down, and after all that straining, pushing, trying, when they resurface they will be strong.

There’s a reason they say hope floats.

It cannot be drowned forever, even if it is is drowned right now. It is not set in stone. You will float, up beyond that circle of sunshine. You will heal, even though you are hurt.

Poe knows this. His eyes tell you all this, but most of all, you know it; no, you feel it, in the depths of you. This is truth.

Poe peels back the covers, and he tugs you to his bare body, warm flesh against yours.

He’s tired. All his body can speak of now is sleep.

You are both tired of fighting, so for now, you must rest, and try again tomorrow. You stroke his hair and he strokes your back, and for now, this is enough.

Yes, for now, this is more than enough.

You are enough.

#poe dameron x reader #Oscar Isaac #poe dameron angst #tw: depressive episode #tw: depression #tw: suicidal ideation #star wars #tw: hunger #tw: food

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oikawa-tuwu · 3 years

Text

Linen Closet (gn!Reader x Kiyoko)

Rated G, 1.3k words

Not Home for the Holidays Masterlist

“Are you... crying in a linen closet?”

When you’re a child, crying is a catharsis. Stub your toe, cry a little, get up and keep playing. Pain, physical or emotional, was temporary, and tears were as good of a placebo painkiller as it got. It used to feel so good to cry. Children aren't exactly eloquent creatures when it comes to emotions or injuries, so when worst comes to worst… cry about it and keep going.

Eventually, crying becomes less of a catharsis and more of a guilty pleasure, except with less of the pleasure and more of the guilt. It might feel good in the moment, but, god forbid, you accidentally burden anyone else with your troubles, because, frankly, that would just be embarrassing for both parties, so crying is left for quiet nights in your cold bed or sniffles held back by a thread on your way home or, in this case, frustrated explosions of emotion in the linen closet of your bed and breakfast.

But we all grow up eventually.

Another shudder wracks your chest, a sob letting loose before you can clamp your mouth shut. You know, from unfortunate experience, just how thin the walls of this old house really are, and the last thing you want is for Maria, your employee, changing sheets next door, to decide to investigate those weird noises.

You try to take a calming breath. In. Out. In. Out.

It's not so much breathing as it is wheezing, but it's getting oxygen in your lungs, so who are you to complain?

And then you think about it again.

It. Whatever the hell it is. Money problems, relationship problems, mental health problems, all of the above problems piling on top of each other like a snowstorm until the front door won’t open-

Another whimper, about ten decibels louder than ideal, and you hold your breath and you hear footsteps. Pass, please. Pass this door and move on. Nothing interesting here.

The door opens.

For a second, all you see is a silhouette. About average height, skinny and lithe, like a runner, with dark hair. And then the light adjusts, and you see her face. She’s beautiful, no doubt about it, and with the halo your (slight) lightheadedness from the crying session, the scene is somewhat… holy… in nature.

But she’s frowning, and the worried expression is rather upsetting to see on such a beautiful face.

The woman asks, carefully, “Are you… crying in a linen closet?”

Your mouth, apparently working faster than your brain, asks, "Are you an angel?"

Silence. Well, mostly silence, because your brain is currently screaming.

"That was a weird thing to say. Sorry."

Thankfully, the woman laughs. She laughs, and you melt, firstly glad that she's laughing it off, but also because her laugh is melodic. "Trust me, that's not the first time I've heard that one. But... uh," she hesitates, looking you over, and you remember that five seconds you were bawling your eyes out. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you say, and brush away the last of your tears. Thankfully, seeing her was enough of a shock to stop them for now, but you have a feeling you haven't seen the last of them today. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry. After all, I'm sure you didn't expect to spend your vacation dealing with an overly emotional host."

"You'd be surprised," the woman says, with a soft smile that speaks of a quiet inside joke, possibly, an inside joke for her alone. "Let's just say I've been in a somewhat similar situation before. My best friend used to have pretty bad anxiety. Actually, she's the one that checked us in yesterday, Yachi Hitoka?"

The name rings a bell. "Short, blonde, blushes a lot?"

"That's her."

Ah. You were wondering when you'd get to see the second of Yachi’s party, since she requested a room with two single beds. And here she was right in front of you. An angel on earth.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

An angel.

"No, thanks. It's sweet of you to offer, but..."

But you don't even know why you're crying. It could be any number of things. Being (relatively) alone during the holidays, stress from your job, or just plain sadness and loneliness. Missing family, missing friends, wanting hot chocolate but knowing full well you ran out a week ago and haven't restocked yet. It could be any and all of those reasons and isolating a single culprit is nearly impossible.

“It’s just a lot,” you end up saying. “The holidays. Everyone likes to talk about the good parts, the food, the celebration, the presents… that you end up forgetting the bad parts too. Until they’re staring straight at you.”

No one likes to mention that your room feels colder in the winter without someone else there to warm it. No one likes to mention that your house feels emptier without the laughter and conversation of kin. No one likes to mention the stress of throwing together a holiday dinner or coming up with the perfect gift idea or looking at your bank account and realizing you might need to rethink some things.

And there it comes again, that wave, and you blink, blink, blink, praying the tide will recede until the next time you get the chance to be alone. A cocktail of anxiety and guilt and salt slowly rising, rising, rising. This woman shouldn’t have to see you like this, you don’t even know each other, and honestly, it's a little unfair to burden one of your guests with your emotional problems and-

“You’re spiralling again, aren’t you?” The woman asks, in that soft voice of hers, and you wonder when you got so transparent that a literal stranger can tell when you’re close to breaking.

The dam cracks, and the tears start to fall again. “I’m sorry,” you manage to get out. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to deal with this-”

Instead of saying anything, agreeing or disagreeing, the woman drops to her knees, crouching down next to where you’re sitting on the bucket. She looks up at you, her hand holding yours, and says, very softly, “Stop apologizing.”

Amazingly, you do. You close your mouth and let the tears flow, with the woman still there, offering hand squeezes and quiet company through your mental breakdown.

It’s… nicer than you expect it to be, just having someone there. She doesn’t say anything else, but you know she’s there to talk it out if you really needed to. For now, she’s willing to sit there and listen to your woes and remind you that there’s someone out there that does care when you’re struggling.

So you cry. You cry and the guilt and frustration slowly lessens and all that’s left of the broken dam is an empty reservoir.

It's… cathartic.

With her sweater sleeve, the woman wipes your cheeks dry. “Better?”

“Better,” you agree, and your mouth forms the first syllable of I’m sorry, before the woman gives you a look. “Thank you. For being here with me. I do have to say though, I would have liked meeting under different circumstances. I don’t think I look incredibly attractive mid-breakdown.”

The woman shrugs, and you see a little faint dusting of blush on her cheeks as she stands, offering a hand to help you off the bucket. “I think you might be surprised.”

You smile. You take her hand, and let her haul you to your feet.

“The name’s Kiyoko, by the way.”

“Y/n.”

“Well, Y/n,” Kiyoko says, that flush still on the tips of her cheekbones as she averts her gaze, a little self-consciously. “How about the next time you need a break, you come knock on my room door and we can go out and do something to take your mind off it?”

“I’d like that.”

Ngl, I had trouble writing this one because I wasn't sure if it would be relatable enough? But I figured of all years to talk about the worst parts of the holiday season, it was this one because oh lord do the holidays remind us that covid-19 sucks butt. Anyways, this is your reminder that you're allowed to feel sad right now. You might be separated from your friends and family or maybe you had to be laid off and money is tight, or maybe you just miss the way things used to be where we could go out and do things. Maybe the holidays just aren't for you, and the negative emotions weigh out the positive ones every year. All those feelings are valid, and take this as a sign to reach out to someone if you need to. My dms are always open if you need someone to talk to <3

#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyū!!#hq #hq!! x reader #kiyoko shimizu #kiyoko x reader #hq kiyoko #not home for the holidays

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yandere-daydreams · 5 years

Note

Ngl I kinda want to see what would happen if dicku got knifed by the reader, and the reader ran back to dabi.

This wasn’t originally a request, but I thought it might be a positive note to open up my ask-box on. I know how much all of you love cosmic vengeance, and I know how much I love hurting Deku. Especially after this oneshot.

TW: Angst, Mentions of Domestic/Parental Abuse, Implied Attempted Sexual Assult, and Blood.

“I think I made a mistake…”

It was the last thing Dabi expected to hear, especially this early in the morning and with such an absent tone. The sun hadn’t even risen yet, but even so, he’d been awake enough to hear the light knock on his door, and the stifled crying that followed. He hadn’t gotten much sleep at all in weeks, really, not since he came home to a wrecked apartment and a broken lock. It wouldn’t have taken a genius to put-together what’d happened, nor did he have to imagine what Deku might do to you once you were ‘in his care’ again. It was reality, even if he processed it numbly, a sad eventuality of something he knew was always going to happen.

But finding you curled up outside his door, something dry and red splattered across clothes he could barely call ‘lingerie’… the sight was a surprise, a shock.

More of a miracle than anything he could’ve expected.

He didn’t hesitate to pull you in, taking your shaking hand by the wrist. You didn’t resist, not as he led you to the first available surface (his rarely-used kitchen table, in this case), letting you sit on its wooden surface as he retrieved the first-aid kit kept for these kinds of scenarios. Toga had already cleared it out early that day, but there were still enough sanitary-napkins and vials of rubbing alcohol to clear the worst of it. Progress was slow, even then, Dabi being careful to only just touch you. Still, the effort was useless in the end, your thousand-yard stare never fading. By the time he’d gotten the last of it off, he had to question whether or not a hospital visit would be more appropriate.

“Don’t worry,” You mumbled, after minutes of tense silence and Dabi’s muffled swears. “I’m not-”

“You’re not bleeding.” He couldn’t help himself, the words escaping as he scanned over untouched, uninjured skin. The realization hit him at the same time you saw fit to admit it. “This isn’t your blood, (Y/n).” He paused again, if only to steady his own nerves. “What did you do?”

You opened your mouth to speak, but closed it again before any words could come out. Your eyes focused, for a moment, gaze falling to your lap as you pushed your shoulders forward. “I didn’t mean to… I didn’t want to,” You started, gesturing wildly, like you were defending yourself. “I… I didn’t tell him anything, I didn’t even give him your alias, and he didn’t like that.” You took a deep breath, sighing, Dabi’s hands coming to rest on the table before you could push him away. “Izuku didn’t like that. He kept talking about how we weren’t communicating and asking why I didn’t love him anymore... the fucking psycho was convinced I choose to be there up until the very end.”

Dabi hummed quietly, stepping away entirely. He occupied himself with the gauze, tearing it apart with his nails as you spoke. It’d probably be better, if he only let you see his back. Dabi’s scowls never seemed to help these sorts of things. “You don’t seem to agree.”

You let out a dry chuckle, tearing your hand go to the back of your neck, tugging at your hair for a distraction. “Yeah… We haven’t agreed on much, since the whole kidnapping thing. He came home drunk, and got this idea into his mind, I think he thought if he... I don’t know how to explain it, he was just so-”

“Aggressive,” Dabi cut in, voice breaking by the second syllable. “He wanted to hurt you, and you couldn’t let him.”

The silence was more forceful, this time, weighing down on Dabi when you failed to continue. He didn’t bother looking up when you stood, only acknowledging the dull thud of your body falling onto his couch when it forced him to move into the living room. The bandages were still trapped in a clenched fist, but any wounds you might’ve had clearly weren’t severe. It was fine. Neither of you was eager for much contact.

“I’m not a bad person, right?” It was hard to hear you, considering the arms covering your face, but it wasn’t difficult to guess what you were saying. He’d been thinking it for years, after all. “I mean, he deserved it. I shouldn’t feel bad, he was a monster, but…”

“But you do, and you’re afraid that it’ll never go away.”

At this, you shifted, if only to peek at him through your self-made restraints. “It is going to, isn’t it?”

It wouldn’t, and he knew that. He knew that his loathing for his own father, his guilt over abandoning his siblings and that awful, disgusting feeling he got whenever he saw someone too tall with hair a little too red, all of it would never really go away. He’d long since stopped caring, Enji’s reputation in shatters and his legacy as a Pro-Hero far out-weighed by his failure to detain the League of Villains, but he’d never learned to let go of that hatred. The hatred that was still there, despite his best efforts, the hatred that would always be there.

The hatred he harbored for himself as much as his father, at this point.

“It gets better,” He said, suddenly wishing he’d had the foresight to keep you on something wooden. “But, it’s not going to get better if you start by staining the furniture. Get your ass in the shower before I can’t get Hero blood out of my fucking cushions.”

You didn’t smile, didn’t laugh, but you didn’t cringe as you pushed yourself up. He didn’t move, though, letting his head fall into his hands as the water started, the noise hardly audible from across the apartment. It took him longer than he’d like to admit to pull himself together, to choke back the oncoming sob and make sure the tears were going to stay in the corners of his eyes. To tell himself he wouldn’t be like this, not for much longer, not if he could help it.

He would tell you the truth, one day. Another day, when neither of you could remember what it was like to hurt by someone who claimed to love you.

And if Dabi was being honest, he wasn’t sure how far away that day would be.

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tsukoyomi-fumikage · 4 years

Text

Sick (ShouToko)

Shoji X Tokoyami

Excited screeching - I loved writing this one, ngl

Prompt - Tokoyami goes to Shoji in the middle of the night feeling sick - It looks much worse than any simple sickness though; Cue Concerned!Shoji

Shoji awoke to a hand on his blanket, clenching at it, shaking violently. Immediately, he thought the worst, eyes flying open and arms automatically grabbing the person next to him, throwing them back onto the floor full-force. There wasn't any fight, the small body landing with a harsh thump, no movement coming from them. Mezo fought to wake up more, to understand what was happening - was this a dream? No, no dream of his ever felt this real. Then why was someone in his room?

"O-ow..."

Mezo knew that voice. His eyes widened and his heart ached at the immense guilt that flooded through it, like a tidal wave crashing into a building, demolishing everything. His throat tightened, now suddenly dry as he stammered his boyfriend's name out; "T-Tokoyami?"

"I... I didn't mean to scare you..." Fumikage's voice was choked, raw from crying himself - Shoji remembered the hand, how it had been trembling, and wondered how he could've been so stupid. "I just... hmmnn."

That didn't sound good - the smaller teenager's voice was cut off from a whimper of pain, which didn't sound like any noise the student had ever made before, concerning Shoji instantly.

Fighting out of his duvet, he made his way over to the shadowy lump on the floor, kneeling down towards him, hoping his non-masked face wasn't creepy at all to his already scared lover. "What did you hit? Where does it hurt?"

"No, I-" The more Tokoyami came into view, the more Mezo realized he was clutching at his chest and head, doubled over from whatever agony he was experiencing. His mouth clenched tightly in pain at just watching him. "I'm... I don't feel well..."

Well, now Shoji felt like a professional asshole.

"Sick?" He hesitantly reached a hand to feel at his head, pushing back at his feathers, which were puffed up from distress. Quills and all, he could still feel the burning fever under his sensitive palm, and he frowned. "Yes, it appears you are."

Fumikage leaned into his touch, shaking, eyes squeezed shut. Shoji knew he needed to do something - anything - to make him feel better. "I think we need to go to someone who can help." As much as Mezo wanted to just hold his boyfriend in his arms, he knew it wouldn't help him in reality. "Iida? Or should we go to Aizawa-Sensei?"

There wasn't a response.

"Tokoyami?"

"I... dunno..." His voice was slowly becoming more slurred; words mixing together and his usual, well thought out sentences were quickly being reduced to garbled, uttered messages.

"Okay, alright.." Mezo steadied himself into a better position, easily wrapping his mutant-arms around Fumikage, lifting him like he weighed a pillow, surrounding him with protection and warmth, although unsure if the latter was good for someone with a fever. Fumikage's head flopped uselessly against his chest, spurring his usual protective instincts. This was bad, really bad. "Uhm, Aizawa then? I'm really worried, Fumi'."

Now he knew he wasn't going to get a response - the only reassurance that he was still with him was the quiet puffed out breaths, light and uneven. What sickness did this to a person? Mezo realized he really didn't want to find out.

Standing up shakily, the nerves hitting him, he grabbed one of his masks and made his way to the door, thankful he was a minimalist, therefore not having to dodge any unwanted items laying on the ground, like tables and stools. Thinking back to the task at hand, Mezo realized Tokoyami's body was completely limp now, and he clutched tighter in fear, twisting the doorknob and letting them both out, being careful to close the door quietly behind him.

Shoji had never been to his homeroom teachers room before, but luckily, he knew where it was - the very top floor. Being quiet while being a large six-tentacled teenager may sound difficult, but Mezo easily glided through the corridors and up the stairs, past his classmates rooms until finally, he made it. One of Tokoyami's eyes opened, the single movement gaining his attention - at least he was awake now, that was good, right?

He knocked on the door, albeit a bit too frantic for his liking; his nerves were so shot that even he was shaking, or maybe Fumikage's tremors had leaked into his body. Mezo wasn't quite sure at this point. Morphing a spare hand, he pressed it against his boyfriend's feathered cheek, feeling his breath on his hand, ghosting over it gently. It was so... unrealistic. God, what was happening?

The door creaked open slightly, the slit in the frame giving way to a tired-looking man, raven hair tied up in a loose bun, one black, exhausted eye staring back at him. "Shoji?" Clearly Aizawa hadn't noticed the trembling ball in his grasp. "Oh, wait." The door opened a bit more so the teacher could see better, now with both of his eyes. "Tokoyami?"

"He's.. sick?" Shoji felt put on the spot here - he really wanted help, but he didn't know how to explain how he'd even found Fumikage to begin with, much less what was happening to him. "He woke me up, and he, he was all slurred and shaking. I didn't know what to do."

Shota nodded, eyes narrowing. "On any normal circumstance I would say just let him sleep it off, but nothing about this looks normal." Now the door was fully open, and the teacher stood off to the side. "Come in, place him on the couch."

The student felt a tiny bit awkward walking into his teacher's flat, however he knew it would only be beneficial to his boyfriend. He stroked at his face affectionately when Aizawa jogged off to grab something. "It's going to be alright, Fumi'. Okay?"

Crimson eyes, glazed over with sickness, looked into his black ones, and the bird-teen's beak curled up into a smile, something that was both relieving and concerning. "I... trust you."

As per the teacher's instructions, he placed him down onto the sofa, kneeling besides him, arm protectively lay over his chest, covering most of his body from the world. Aizawa walked back in a few seconds later, carrying his phone, a glass with a straw, a thermometer and what appeared to be a hot-water bottle. Placing all of the items down on the coffee table, he picked up the thermometer, handing it to Mezo. "Check his temperature - Although it was probably easy to tell he had a fever from you holding him, I need to know how high it is."

The tentacle hero nodded, taking the item in his right hand, transferring it over to his left to free up his right arm to life Tokoyami's head up. Again, those sluggish crimson eyes opened at stared right into his soul. "Can you open your mouth?"

Silently, the bird-teen complied, and Mezo put the instrument into his mouth, waiting for the usual beep. When it did, he took a quick glance at the number: forty degrees Celsius (104F). Not great, but not the worst thing Shoji had witnessed today. Aizawa read over the number, sighing, handing the glass to the student. "Now get him to drink while I call the school - he's going to have to get tomorrow off."

"Shouldn't you wait until they are awake?" Mezo wasn't normally the one to talk back, but he felt the need to know. Having Shota Aizawa, this usually aloof and depressed man actually express urgency wasn't doing him much good. "Is it that bad?" Shoji didn't know shit about fevers and sickness, and heck, if mutant-bird-students fevers were even like the average sickness.

"It's not bad, don't worry, he just needs a lot of rest and maybe some medication." Shoji nodded shakily, lifting his boyfriend up even further to allow him to drink from the straw. "Someone'll have to keep an eye on him."

"I don't mind, Aizawa-Sensei."

The Erasure hero chuckled. "I didn't think you would."

...

By the time Tokoyami became more aware of his surroundings, he noticed he was curled into Shoji's gigantic arms, and appeared to be in his boyfriend's room, light just barely flooding through curtains, symbolizing how early it must've been. He felt as if he hadn't slept in years.

"Are you awake?"

The sick student flinched at the sudden words, eyes moving upwards to find his boyfriend - of course it was him, why was he so stupid? "I... think so?" He spoke before he even got the chance to think about it; If this was supposed to be his mind trying to make a joke, it wasn't exactly funny. "What.. happened?"

"You woke me up around three hours ago, all shaky and sick, and turns out you have a bug, but it'll run its course in a few days, hopefully - or so, Aizawa-Sensei said."

He thumped his head against the pillow in an attempt to not look as embarrassed as he felt. "Okay.. Then why am I in here?"

"Aizawa said someone needed to stay with out, and I didn't think you were one to appreciate our teacher making sure you aren't dying."

Tokoyami leaned forward, burrowing his face into Mezo's shirt. "I owe you one..."

"You don't owe me anything, Fumi'." A morphed mouth pressed a kiss onto his feathered head, and Tokoyami couldn't help but smile at the affection. "I just wish for you to get better."

#bnha fumikage tokoyami #bnha mezo shoji #bnha fumikage #bnha shoji #bnha tokoshoji #bnha shoutoko #bnha shotoko #bnha fanfiction #bnha hurt/comfort #bnha aizawa

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pencilpavlova · 4 years

Photo

ngl this is still one of my fav pieces for the year so far

Hound goes from scruffy hatchling to Actual Functional Adult cx

Stories for each panel below

Smol Boi, Big Spider

"Can I eat it?" asked Speck, not realizing the spider was wondering the same thing. Speck was always a curious youngster, often wandering too far from the nest and having to be herded back by his mother. It didn't help he had several siblings, he didn't know how many exactly, but he could count to 5, and there was definitely more than that. It was not uncommon for him to stumble across small animals. Most ran away when they saw him, apparently associating his small fluffy self with the imposing figure of an adult Cryolophosaurus. But occasionally there would be one that didn't, which usually resulted in Speck running back to his mother whimpering about 'huge monsters'.

A Scuffle Over Seed

"I wanna eat a rat," said Speck. "Same," said the other rat. The first place Speck went to after leaving his mother and siblings was an abandoned barn. It was warm and dry inside, and the structure was intact enough to protect him from the worst of the weather. The young hunter tried his luck against rats. He had never had to hunt as a matter of 'kill or starve' before, seeing he had always had his mother to fall back on. It took him a bit of getting used too, and he would sometimes wake up to the sound of squeaking and scratching as his prey decided to fight each other, instead of the predator living in their midst.

Marshland Chase

"I sure hope this isn't one of the poison ones..." Hound, as he was now calling himself, tried to avoid other predators by moving to land that is impossible to hunt on for anyone larger than himself. Granted he still sunk into the mud, but he did so less often than a full grown Carno would have, and he was finally getting the hang of hunting frogs and other marshland creatures. The leeches though... those he could do without.

It’s an Archosaur Eat Archosaur World

"So does this count as fishing or hunting? I mean I caught it in the water..." Hound had been travelling along the estuary when he spotted something odd in the water. Initially he thought it was a log, then a washed up carno corpse. When he got closer he discovered it was actually a crocodile. He had always been scared of them when he was younger, being ambushed while he was drinking in the marsh. He had been lucky to escape with only a few feathers missing. They seemed strangely small now, and he didn't have too much trouble subduing his prey. "Guess I really have grown," he mumbled around a mouthful of leathery scales.

#dinosaur #cryolophosaurus #Hound #theropod #dino #arpg #primeval age #hunting #art #my art #paleoart #not really but shush

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

Text

In the best (personal) news I have had in oh, over a year, FINALLY got the results of the MRI back and it is NOT a tumor lurking in my nonexistent jaw joint area and causing all my Issues, as my doctor was worried about from the latest CT scans. Which, like. Yeah. I don’t really have the words for how grateful I am to hear that because like, hahahaha I was getting super tired of my rock bottoms introducing themselves to new rock bottoms, you know???

So I am currently buzzing and high on that news, life in general, and y’know, sleep deprivation, cuz ngl, it was definitely not fun hearing I should know by Monday whether or not like, I have cancer, only for that to be dragged out until freaking Friday. Hahaha what is sleep, I have had like, five hours all week maybe? Needless to say I am super behind again on work, rent, insurance and all that fun stuff BUT as long as I can say “but I don’t have cancer!” at the end of each of those things, like....yeah I’m gonna milk the fuck out of that qualifier for energy, as long as I possibly can lololol.

Did talk to my insurance ppl today though and I’ve got at least until Tuesday to pay my premiums, so got a couple more days of breathing room there. Can’t get it extended past that though because my doctor’s already gonna be calling in preauthorization requests for like, the actual surgery and stuff as early as Monday and I reeeeeally don’t want ‘okay but this dude hasn’t even paid up yet’ being a factor at all in whether or not they approve my 25K surgery.

Fingers crossed that my good luck continues to hold, as there’s a possibility this might all get dealt with once and for all, a lot sooner than I’d hoped for?? Like, cuz of the MRI she was able to get a clear view of exactly what the problem is, the inflammation around the joint and actual erosion of the bone, etc, which cut out a lot of the other steps we were preparing to take to isolate the exact issue before moving forward. It also apparently lit a hell of a fire under their asses cuz they were able to see not just that the joint is totally wrecked (which we’ve known for like, nine months now, wasn’t news), but just how badly eroded my jawbone is at like....the other point of the jaw that holds it at least somewhat connected to my skull still even though the joint itself is nonexistent? Idk not explaining that right because again, sleep deprived like whoa.

ANYWAY. Point is my doctor was like, so basically because of the constant damage being done in that area every time you open your mouth at all, you’re fracturing it further and its only hanging on by the barest sliver at this point - which, DUH, is exactly what I’ve been telling all these doctors it felt like, for over a year BUT I DIGRESS - so she’s all, yeah, we need to move this along as fast as possible because if you erode that area much more like, she doesn’t even know what that’ll look like in practice cuz she’s never actually had to deal with a case that bad, but reading between the lines it sounds like I would just not be able to close my mouth shut at all after that point, which....lol bye bye basic eating and talking? Idk. So its super fun being the worst case of this particular issue she’s ever seen personally haha yay me (but at least I don’t have cancer!)

So. Still putting it in the win column.

But yeah, so she found another surgeon that does potentially take insurance for the actual surgery costs, if we can get my insurance to approve it, and in the meanwhile now I gotta set up appointments at this OTHER imaging place for another more specific CT scan to measure how big the prosthetic will need to be, and they don’t take insurance there at all so that’s gonna be $600 no matter what. BUT, this new surgeon has a bunch of premade prosthetics they keep on site and so there’s a possibility they might be able to fit me with a premade prosthetic that’s already the right dimension instead of having to order a custom made one. And if I can get the surgery approved by my insurance and they find a premade that works, the surgery can be set up in as little as three weeks (which omg holy shit is that a light at the end of the tunnel, IT JUST FUCKING MIGHT BE crap I totally jinxed it didnt I fuck). If they can’t find a premade that works though it’ll still be the 4-6 months to make a custom one so, boooooo, we’re really hoping that doesn’t happen, cuz, again. I do not know precisely what several months of not being able to swing my jaw shut at all even lopsidedly and thus no eating or talking....like lmao what would that even look like how do you not like, starve in that case? Idk. So....super duper hoping that we can find a premade and get the surgery scheduled quicklikearabbit and not have to wait several more months and risk just eroding whatever it is that’s still up there in that general vicinity that’s left to erode, idk, like I said what are words right now even.

YEAH. SO. That’s my status update for those who’ve been messaging and checking in and whatnot, like, y’all are rockstars and I fucking adore you and am so grateful. I am now going to go sleep the sleep of the dead because hahahahahaha ow light is actually physically painful at the moment, I just came to sit up straight at my desk and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Then its back to work for me but also I might have some fic updates??? lol. Cuz of people who’ve donated and made non-imposing requests or suggestions for things I could write and thus mitigate my OMG I Do Not Deserve Your Generosity ulcers of doom. That I’ve been writing off and on but mostly just off this last week in particular where I unfortunately did a lot of like, staring at the wall watching paint dry except not really cuz they weren’t freshly painted or whatever, look you get what I mean probably.

Right. So. Assuming any of this makes sense to anyone and I’m not actually just stringing together nonsense series of words here at this point, still likely to be scarce for a few days to a week. Gonna leave my paypal link again, cuz I mean, yeah. I’m way more sick of posting it than anyone could possibly be of seeing my post it lolol, trust me, but hopefully there is a point now in the near(ish) future where I will once again be able to work productively and non-chronic-painfully again and thus not be in desperate need of the kindness of strangers 24/7. That would be so awesome omgwtfbbqicanteven. You don’t even know.

But also! At least I don’t have cancer. So. I actually have a bizarre amount of energy at the moment despite being two seconds away from faceplanting into my keyboard from exhaustion. Look I dont even get how that works either. I’m nuanced okay.

I feel like there was something to write here like in conclusion or in summation or tl;dr but also fuck it, I think I literally just heard my last remaining synapse fire in my brain I gtg ttyl byyyyyyyyyyyye.

https://paypal.me/bigskydreaming?locale.x=en_US

#i do the words so good #like omg look how good i do all the words

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jinships-ideas · 6 years

Text

BTS Run 36 - The Jin Harem

This is late by a few days but I finally sat my ass down to write it :D

Let’s begin~

We start it off with JINMIN!

It’s weird to see them without any distinct height difference...

STOP SLOUCHING JIN!

These 2 sure are sticking close to each other

DAMN, why do they both look so tiny?

Jin? TINY?

A concept I like

Jinnie light tapping Chim while he was explaining to Hobi

Was the tap really necessary?

WAS IT?

Yes, Yes it was.

Look at how SMUG Tae looks

Jin was saying how he remembers Tae’s amazing Decorating/Plating skills

Proud Bub Tae is Proud

Really? They HAD to stick so close?

Well, I’m not complaining

Namjin leaning back to let Yoonmin take the paper

Their matching look as the two Smols stretch out for the teams

:’)

Tols looking smug at the smols

Firstly, Joon yawns

LET THEM REST PLEASE

WELL WELL WELL

WHAT DO WWE HAVE HERE?

Why it’s a yawning Jin!

I’m no expert in psychology but I have read that yawns are contagious

BUT only when the influenced saw it.

So... Jin’s been looking at Joon huh?

Namjin’s hands

👀

Subtle but DAMN powerful

WE SEE EVERYTHING

ESPECIALLY LITTLE TOUCHES

NAMJIN YOU GUYS AIN’T SLICK

Wait...

Before:

After:

Joon just teleported beside Jin???

Wasn’t he between Yoongi and Tae?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sneaky Sneaky

Chim feeding Jinnie Ft. Envious looking Hobi

I’d do ANYTHING to be able to feed Jin

ANYTHING

Tae rubbing Jin’s arms and shoulders

DAMN TAE! REALLY? In front of all that kimchi?

(1 on of you said you liked the salad meme so... SHOUTOUT TO THAT 1 PERSON. To the rest of you? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

(One day i’ll insert a meme that’ll make all of you laugh.)

(But it is NOT TODAY)

Look how happy Taebub is!

ANYONE would be that happy with their hands on Worldwide Handsome-nim!

2SEOK 5!

Joonie: 내가 웃는게 웃는게 아니야 (It’s lyrics from a Lessang song called ‘I’m not laughing’)

He even did that ‘head tilt’ thing to show his doubt/hesitance

The domesticity is so overwhelming

LOVE IT

You guys...

There’s PLENTY of space around...

There is 0 need for y’all to stick together like glue...

Kind Chef-nim teaches the opponent team the proper technique but...

JK: Not watching/listening at all Hobi: Too busy joking around like the happy bub he is Chim: Too busy laughing at the happy bub’s joke

Pretty sure I’ve mentioned this already but

I LOVE NAMJIN

Hobi and his Glib tongue~

Guys. THE KITCHEN IS HUGE

THERE IS NO NEED TO BE SO CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER...

Also, Jin teaching Tae ‘basics’ to cooking

Tae: *caught in a wtf*

Joonie at the side is VERY impressed with Jin’s tips on cooking though

Someone wants Chef-nim’s attention too huh?

I guess even monkeys fall from trees...

(It’s a Chinese saying...I THINK Yes, I know Mandarin)

Meaning: Even the best makes some mistakes

But... why does this look so familiar...

Flashback to Bon Voyage Season 2 Episode 4...

JOONIE DID THe SAMe THING

Except Joon isn’t a monkey falling out of a tree

He’s more like a fish

Way out if his depth back then

Pouty Chef-nim~

It’s ok! I’m sure sesame seeds won't affect the taste too much! Besides, you can always just take them out!

Dumb and Dumber

Arguing about something insignificant

That’s what couples tend to do right?

Also, JIN! Why would you asked Joonie about a sense of length when he gave you ‘3cm’ spring onions that were practically uncut and at least 25cm long???

Namjin are definitely connected to onions

Every time there’s an onion, Namjin will most likely occur

ONIONS ARE A NAMJIN THING

The way Jin just wordlessly takes it from Joon to demonstrate how to cut it

:’)

DOMESTIC AF

FOND!!!

Jin literally had 0 reaction when Yoongi and Hobi were fussing about the ‘taste of Japan’

BUT when Joonie joined in, Jin’s fond smile just

:’)

HE TURNED TO JOONIE!

YOU CAN’T SAY HE AIN’T FOND OF THE BUB!

Hobi fooling around once again

Poking Jin when Chim asked for ‘Jin soy sauce’

Pokes are cute :)))

Pouting and heartbroken Jinnie at Chim’s ‘I don’t need him’

CHIM U LIAR

YOU KNOW YOU WANT HIM

WE ALL DO (Know and want him)

Jin sees Joonie chopping up the onions

Jin is processing what he is seeing

Jin finished processing the scene

Jin lets out a shout at Joonie

Joonie thinks as he looks at Jin ‘What have I done?’

Jin is so done

Jin nagging at how Joonie didn’t follow his instructions

HAHAHAH

I LOVE IT when he just talks so fast and rant XD

Joonie tries winning back the favour of Chef-nim by being funny and cute with the other half of the onion he has left

IT WORKED!

Jin busy prepping his glass noodles but doesn’t forget to chip in how ‘Taehyung LOVES Tonkatsu’

Jin really thinks of Tae huh?

First the plating compliment and now he brings up how they are making food that is loved by Tae

Tae IS SO LOVED

This is the ‘pro at plating’ (by plating I mean plate selection... NOT actual plating of food)

In the background, You can see Namjin talking~

Joonie pops up SO QUICKLY at the request of Jin!

WHEN WILL I GET THIS DRAMA?

I NEED IT

NAMJIN ARE PERFECT ROM COM

Joonie ONCE AGAIN arrives immediately at the calling of Jin!

Ok. I’m not a great cook. I may not know much about proper cooking techniques and all

But like WHY TF would you just use your hands to drain something that was just boiled?

IQ148 my ass

Joonie turns into a fool in front of Jin

He already dipped his fingers in once and knew its hot

BUT because Jin reassured him that it isn’t he just put his hand in again...

BOY YOU A FOOL FOR LOVE

Joonie: The things I do for love...

I think Jin cursed???

His audio was cut off after he said ‘hot’...

And Joon laughed...

Foul Mouthed Jin is cute

This post is just turning into a Namjon Galore...

Joonie in disbelief at how Jin IGNORED his advise for their dish

I mean... can you blame Jin?

I need a better angle for this moment...

Preferably a front angle...

It’s for research purposes...

Chim responding to Jin’s comment from across the kitchen, in the midst of his busy cooking

This is Kim Namjoon MOCKING Tae for asking if he could cook rice in the baking oven

This is Kim Namjoon CHANGING TUNE after Jin said Tae could

Namjoon... You whipped man

Joonie having a bite at Jin’s ‘failed’ work

I WANT A NAMJIN ROM COM GDI!!!

Did Jin just ‘Fall for Namjoon’?

DID HE?

As if he hasn’t already

AWWW

Precious bub showing off his Heart sausage to chef-nim!

HOW IS HE SO ADORABLE???

It worked on Jin!

Look how brightly he is smiling at Hobi’s antics!

Meanwhile Joonie...

Joonie: HOW DARE YOU IN FRONT OF ALL OUR KIMCHI DISHES

I LOVE THEM

T^T

Nyam Nyam (read this in Yoongi’s tone back in the chuseok run ep)

Jin accurately guesses what Joon did to ‘stir fry’ the noodles

They are too much for my heart

Look at these 2 cuties huddled over a bowl of piping hot noodles and mixing it

It’s painful but they still have smiles on their faces

Why?

Because they have each other

How much do you need for a ‘taste’?

Like that’s a huge ass mouthful...

Character development is having Joonie point the scissors in your direction and cutting something from your hands when in the previous episode you did NOT want him with scissors anywhere near you

I DON’T GET IT

HOW DO PEOPLE NOT SHIP NAMJIN???

Stay close you two

STAY REAAAAAL CLOSE

I laughed too hard at this

NGL it looks kinda good

MATCHING Taejin, Yoonjin, and Namjin

Team ‘we have the 2 worst cooks but we made it work’

SO much space but They just want to be right next to each other~

This time it’s Yoonjin sticking together huh?

Jinnie laughing at Tae’s cute mistake at speaking~

Tae: At the end of the day, I got you to look my way so who’s the real winner?

Namjin eye contact while Jin is leaning into Yoongi

Bless this frame for giving us BOTH namjin and Yoonjin

Ok so let’s break this down

Jin is standing between Tae and Joon

So it makes sense for their hands to be around him

Tae Goes for the Worldwide shoulders

Joonie goes for the waist and back

But...there’s ANOTHER hand

It’s none other than Yoongi who is standing ACROSS from Jin...

Logically speaking, Yoongi’s hand should be around Joon and Tae...

But it’s around Jin’s WAIST instead...

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Tae has his hands on those Worldwide shoulders AGAIN

FINALLY some jinkook-ish moments!

Both of them huddling over food

THEY LOOK SO ALIKE

WTF

Jinkook: In food we unite

Literally everyone has stopped munching but jinkook...

They LOVE their food

Ahhh now Chim is sticking close to Jin

HE IS SO FOND OF CHIM

THE DOTING LOOK HE HAS FOR CHIM

I LOVE THEM

Their hands...

awfully close ain’t it?

In my honest opinon, this episode seemed a bit dry compared to the other episodes... The idea seemed re-used but I guess we were jsut too overfed recently ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

There weren’t as much jin harem moments (except for namjin though, bless namjin) BUT we still got a decent amount so I’m glad ^^

Hope you guys enjoyed~

Until Next time~

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rainbowdelicsunshine · 2 years

Note

16, 17, and 8 :o)

8. top 5 colors

Yellow

Purple

Brown

Hot Pink/Magenta

Iridescence/Rainbow (not a real color I know)

16. favorite movie

As with music, there are soso many favorites to choose so it's really to pick one out of the bunch!

One childhood I just revisited yesterday was Fun and Fancy Free (aka the one with Mickey and the Beanstalk), mainly I love the the Bonjo bit and the Party Bit (the one with the ventriloquist, his puppets and a little girl are all having a party telling the Mickey and the Beanstalk story), the humor of the Party bits ngl is pants-pissing tier hilarious (yes I'm a weirdo who loves dry, smart-allecky, wise-crack humor from the 1940s lol)!

Plus the animation is just, *chef's kiss* godtier!

17. a fact about my life

WARNING: DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU CANT STOMACH CONTENT LIKE CHILDHOOD TRUAMA, TEACHER TO STUDENT ABUSE AND OVERALL SHITTY SCHOOL SYSTEMS)!!!

Apologies in advance, but I'm taking this as the opportunity to finally recall one of my all time WORST school related childhood memories I have to this day (and a cautionary tale to those who think school/teacher related trauma NOT is a "cute/funny" thing for a child to through, it's horrifying and can fuck you up for the rest of your life)

Let's begin from the start shall we?

I was 12 years old and in my first year of middle school in a K-12 school a half hour or so outside the small dot of a village (?) town we lived in at this time

This school was hands down one of the worst ones I ever went to and constantly made myself throw up in the school bathroom just to get away from the terrible peers and,,,,,,, teachers that I never fully trusted so they didn't seem to like me due to that (luckily I moved to a school in my hometown I currently live in now a little while after the incident I'm discussing)

One of these teachers was a old stocky build man around his 60s, with white balding hair. I forgot his name ever since this incident, but all you need to know about him is that he was the math teacher, he used to hand us all deer jerky he would make himself (it was rlly good), and was a Republican and a fan of Bill O Riley (yes he did tell me this with his own mouth, yuck)

Well, anyhow, one day I was just doing my usual thing of falling asleep in the classroom since math was so boring, it was the first class of the morning and math was my worst subject in school (sidenote, I used to also get sleep paralysis in this classroom almost everytime I feel asleep in that classroom, like I could NOT open my eyes and it would HURT to try to even move to wake up fully so fun! It did stop after I stopped going to that school)

So after getting into poo-poo for the millionth time by the teacher for "sleeping in class", he did something he never really did with me before this:

He made me stay in the classroom with him

The catch is though, there's a boy that's at the other side of the classroom at his desk with his stuff on top of it, we were the only ones there besides the teacher

This kid was being a smart aleck, and frankly a little shit lol, with that teacher all the class and so because of that, he made that kid stay in there along me myself (please note I have NO CLUE why I'm still here)

The teacher is just doing the whole lecture the naughty kid thing, but he was slowly but surely getting pissed and irate with this boy, since he's still being a smartass

Before I knew it, before my very eyes, this teacher's face turned beet red, he screamed at this kid at the top of his lungs, both his hands gripping either side of the kid's desk, right into this little boy's face

If that wasn't the topper to it all, it was the part where he just grabbed all the stuff the kid had on his desk and

FUCKING

THREW IT

ALL

ACROSS

THE ROOM!!!

Yeah, let's just say that kid was BAWLING and I just

Slowly and quietly walked out of the room and BOOKED IT as fast as I could to my next class, crying with tears on my face myself, I really tried hiding it too

I remember a school counselor walking past me and noticing my crying and she pulled me aside so I could tell her what was wrong

I don't remember everything that was said (all I remember is being very hesitant to say since it was a teacher being fucked up and I thought she wouldn't believe me cuz of that),

but I remember shortly after that, I wasn't in that class anymore and a little after that, I moved school and never looked back!

-------------------

If you read all that and still think that this should be a "cute and funny memory I should laugh off"

Fuck you.

------------------

But yeah I am soso very for this long ass story and reply, I just never had to opportunity to tell any of them until now, so I humbly thank you for that!

Have an amazing day friend!!

#🌈 fozz's posts #🌈 fozz chit chats #🌈 fozz vents through a window #tw vent #tw venting #tw vents #tw childhood trauma #childhood truama tw #PLEASE let me know if you want me to tag anything else!!!#ask games #answered ask

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harrypotterdrabbles · 7 years

Text

"Proper Fancied"

Request: Can i request a remus x reader where its after a full moon and she’s helping him to his dorm with the marauders but her dorm is first so shes about to go in but they all hear the other girls making fun of her (kind of like look at me I’m sandra dee) and they let it slip that she has a crush on remus? Thanks I love your log btw ❤️

Pairing: Young Remus Lupin x Reader

Warnings: Crude language, sort of angst? Manly loving, lots of worrying, not much fluff ngl and a bit of a sadistic reader (you’ll see)

Word Count: 2399

I tried to make it cute but I did do this on separate days so it sort of turned? I honestly had no idea what happened since I tried to make it very light-hearted and Marauder-y! But please do enjoy this whirlpool of a shitstorm~ Don’t be afraid to give me your opinions either xx.

It’s the worst one you’d seen yet.

James had rushed into your dormitory not long back – they always seemed to somehow get past the magical slide - and had promptly dragged you out of the room without any explanation despite your frantic complaints of his sudden actions.

You were just about to clamber into your bed, the rest of the gals were Merlin knows where (they never really invited you with them that much, but you didn’t particularly care, you had four brilliant friends that meant the world to you), meaning you were still in some oversized shirt that probably belonged to Peter or one of the boys and some ridiculous looking pumpkin patterned shorts. Not the greatest of looks you had to admit.

“-James! What-what’s going on?” you hastily questioned as you nearly tripped over a step, his long legs striding further than yours could ever reach. His hair was in an horrendously disheveled state that you’d never seen since he had attempted to comb his curls back in your 3rd year. “Moony, he-” James choked out and your heart leaped as you realized that-

Oh my Merlin, he’s crying? What’s happen to Remus?

With the resolve of the determined Gryffindor you were, you halted, grasping a moving James by his broad-woahwhendidhegetthisbroad- shoulders and gently shook him. “James, calm down love. Breathe, tell me what’s happened before you drag me to my death?” You gave him a comforting smile, still keeping the wit in your voice, the last thing you want is an even more panicked James. He never worked well when he was crying; it always ended up with blurred vision, tripping, walking into walls and intensive hiccupping that resembled the squeak of polishing trophies that Filch made us do every week.

James shoved his glasses up on his head and wiped his face dry, “Its Moony- he,” sniffle “-it’s the worst its ever been, he’s proper banged up, we’ve messed up,” he looked up, his guilty eyes puffy and red, “Y/N, I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

You completely forgot, it was the full moon that night. The boys never let you join in their animagi antics and to be frank you didn’t want to see someone you admired so much in unbearable pain. You knew Remus didn’t like you seeing him when his furry problem came about, he didn’t want you to worry nor see him in such a weakened state. Your feelings towards the sandy haired boy didn’t even waver when he first admitted it you, it even grew; you just felt so flattered and grateful that Remus trusted you enough to tell you.

If only I could do the same for him, feelings are ridiculous, I have decided.

You both hastily arrived at the hospital wing in record time and you had promptly burst into a sobbing puddle as you saw your Remus-abravestrongwonderfulboy- just laid there limp and so fragilebrokenscarred. Remus’s head rested on the pillow, a horrendous jagged scar slashed over his nose, barely skimming across his skin, the mark an enflamed red.

You collapsed onto the stools next to Peter, holding onto the shaking boy for dear life, his arms pulling you into the comforting embrace you certainly needed. Bless this boy, he definitely knew how to make you feel better.

And that’s where you stayed the whole night, hunched over a stool, one hand holding Sirius’s and the other tenderly grasping Remus’s. You all had to leave early morning however to escape the wrath of Madame Pomfrey if she ever found out we snuck in to see her most fragile patient. The four of you, minus Remus who still hadn’t woken up, dragged yourselves up to the Gryffindor Common room still half asleep with James mumbling something about hippogriffs taking McGonagall hostage and a giggling comment at your pumpkin shorts. You had successfully snuck back into your dorm, the boys making sure to walk you there like they always did, then proceeded to shuffle to their own shared room. Slipping into your bed was no problem, your roommates were deep asleep and hopefully too smashed from last night to notice you weren’t in your bed.

You all did the exact same that night too, tiptoeing down to the hospital wing in the middle of the cold September air just to huddle by Remus’s side. You never pressed the boys to what had happened, you were curious but you didn’t want to know what danger they accidently placed themselves in.

Staring down at Remus’s face, the wound no longer looked sore or reddened but it looked much more calmed yet tender. This was definitely going to leave a particularly nasty scar. You were slumped on Remus’s right side, your head nestled in the crook of your arm, the hand mindlessly stroking Remus’s hair whilst the other drawing circles on the sheet. You couldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard you tried, instead your absent mind whirled with thought preoccupied with the boy laid unconscious before you. The Madame said he had awoken earlier but his body needed the sleep so he kept drifting off asleep every so often.

The boys were all deep within their dreams, their slight snoring somehow calming you slightly. Your eyes heavily shut, stained from them being open for so long when clearing of a throat snapped you awake. Glancing down, your eyes met the tired, but familiar hazel azure that was Remus’s.

“Hi.” You softly greeted, trying hard not to choke up and cry in front of the boy. Remus gave you a tired smile despite how painful it must be to move his face, Hi Y/N.” His voice held a sore rasp to it but it sounded wonderful saying your name.

“How you feeling Moony?” You whispered, your voice shaking and you were well aware that the hand that was stroking his hair was now trembling ever so slightly. “Just a bit peachy.” Remus let out a little chuckle and you couldn’t help but snort amusement, “You look like you dueled Grindelwald and you’re ‘just peachy’, you absolute numpty.” you shook your head lightly in mock exasperation as Remus shook his light-heartedly.

“Well I you must know, I definitely feel better with you here.” Your hand faltered their strokes in his sandy locks and Remus suddenly cleared his throat, “-you all here, I mean. I appreciate it.” He quickly clarified as he glanced at the other boys slumped around him, his eyes filled with fondness and love that nothing in the world could ever compare.

You didn’t know what words to say to him after that so you left it, leaving the room in a comfortable silence with only the soft breaths and snores of the boys to fill the room. Ever so gently, they lulled your mind to peace and your eyelids shut with you fast asleep.

The next morning consisted of waking up to Peter crying over Remus, Sirius launching into an apologetic speech and James prodding your cheek rather uncomfortably, simply finding childish enjoyment of watching them squish together as drool unattractively dripped out of your mouth. You weren’t very happy to say the least.

When the lads all had their little sob sesh with a very overwhelmed Remus, it was our job to help support him up to the dorm room before the students filtered down for breakfast. All the way in Gryffindor Tower. The opposite side of the castle.

What followed was a lot of cursing; “merlin’sleftballsac-”

A lot of fake reassurance; “I got this! I got this, yep I defi-igotthis-!”

A lot of complaints; “Why do you weigh so much! You’ve been snacking on the pork pies again haven’t you Remus.”

“Y/N why are you just standing there and not helping?”

“…I’m the visual motivation that keeps you going..?”

Slowly, but surely, you managed to support him through the portrait hole and up the dormitory stairs. However the boys were determined to see you to your dorm first as James calls it “A tradition for our lovely Y/N to show that we Marauders can too, be gentlemen!”

You all heaved yourselves up the girl’s stairs and made a few confusing twists and turns to your specific dorm room, Peter unlinking his arm from yours and dramatically bowing down to you as you let out a snort of delight. You thanked the boys generously and hastily, and you opened your door but paused when your name was called. Turning around you were met with the boys looking almost insulted. You raised a confused eyebrow, “What?”.

“Didn’t think you’d actually go without a marauder hug!” James wiggled his eyebrows and a wide smile split open on your face, their hugs always were the cure to your low moods. You dived into his open arms as he rocked from side to side, his curled hair stuffing itself into your face. Peter was already hugging you dearly by the time James let go and you couldn’t help but laugh when Sirius lifted you away from him in his loving arms.

“Merlin Y/N! You’ve been snacking on them pork pies as well haven’t you!” Sirius joked as he put you down and you grumpily hit his arm, ignoring his string of apologies. He knew you loved him really. You turned to the last hug.

Remus stood by himself, no longer supported by the Quidditch fanatics, his arms wide and a knowing smile on his face. His hands motioned you to come close and you gently slid into his hug, careful not to hurt any of his wounds. The hug was warm and secure and you knew that your feeling for Remus were no longer a silly crush that you had dubbed in your mind. You’d never think of Sirius or Peter or James in the same way you viewed Remus, you felt selfish and guilty though, hiding your feeling in the form of being “just best mates”.

Suddenly, you heard a very mocking laugh which broke you and Remus from your hug. You turned to the sound to realize it was only your roommates and it came from the slightly ajar door you left open. You gave the boys an apologetic look, but before you could actually apologies, another voice you recognized as Denise echoed throughout the hallway.

“Y/N’s probably fucking one of them now and I’ll bet you two galleons that it’s Black.” Her claim was followed by a fit of giggling and followed by stunned silence from us. None of us made a sound, too shocked by what just had occurred.

“Nonononono! I saw her rushing out with Potter the other night and she hasn’t even slept here for the past couple days. My money’s on Potter.” The high scratchy pitch that had replied was Tracey, the sound of rustling and rummaging could be heard followed by a triumphant “Aha!”. The girls let out “oooohs” and snickers as you heard Mellissa mockingly clear her throat.

“Ladiiesss and gentlemen! May I present the atrocious wardrobe that is Y/N L/N.” She sang and your throat closed up, you knew you never had the best of clothing choices and you couldn’t believe they were rummaging through your stuff!

“Look at me~ I galivant like I’m a marauder, and I act as if I’m the next best thing since water~” She crooned, giggling as she presumably ridiculed me across the room. Denise let out a loud laugh, wheezing so bad she resembled a dying whale, she interrupted Mellissa’s singing with a wave of her hands.

“That’s Remus’s shirt and all! She’s definitely screwing Lupin, only someone like him would pity her.” She cackled and you felt fury blaze in your blood but before you could storm in there to show her a piece of your mind, Tracey’s words impacted you the most.

“Well she did say she proper fancied Remus.”

Embarrassment, humiliation and most of all, shame shot through your body as tears brimmed your eyes. You could see Peter look uncertainly between the door, Remus and you but you didn’t want to see the sandy haired boy’s reaction. You didn’t want to see his disgusted expression. You strutted forwards, your thoughts whirling with numerous plans of revenge.

“Excuse me gentlemen, I have three cunts to dispose of.” Rage ignited within you and you ignored Sirius’s warning before you stormed into the room, magically locking the door behind you. A string of furious hexes left your mouth and chaos ensued the room a few seconds later.

It was rather satisfying, letting your feelings out.

You sat on your bed rather giddily, surrounded by some of your favorite treats from the numerous times you snuck out to Hogsmeade, a couple fashion magazines and a nice warm mug of Butterbeer you got one of the house elves to fetch you.

You were in the middle of reading why Jobberknoll feathers wouldn’t complement your skin tone when you heard an owl pecking at your window. You gave the bird an exasperated look from across the room but shifted all your stuff to the side before making your way to the window located on the opposite side of the room.

You passed Denise who was intensely looking at you in fear, her usually golden hair half singed off, now a horrid neon yellow and a feather magically tickling her feet, however she was helpless; Frozen by the full body-bind curse you had sent her way, leaving her needing to squirm and laugh, yet unable to do so.

You let out a delighted hum as you stepped over a ‘‘Petrificus Totalus’’ed Tracey who was sporting a rather unattractive green hue with purple boils, and made your way over to the window. Unlatching it you saw that the owl had a note attached to its leg, you gave the cute thing a little treat and you had noticed its eye was looking confusingly behind you. You turned around and snorted, understanding its immense confusion.

“Don’t worry love, you’re not seeing things, she’s human.” You reassured the brown beauty, referring to Mellissa who strung up- upside down and was covered in feathers from head to toe and had antlers sprouting out of her forehead- she too placed in a full body-binding spell. You shut the window and trotted back to your bed, sliding under the warm covers and unfolded the dainty note.

“Don’t worry Y/N, I ‘proper fancied’ you too. xx”

#harry potter fanfiction #harry potter drabble #harry potter one shot #hp one shot #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin x reader #the marauders #marauders fanfic #marauders fanfiction #remus x reader #young remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #remus imagine #harry potter imagine #remus lupin fluff #harry potter fanfic #hpdmasterlist

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corpserite · 7 years

Text

PROMPTO. strike three. the easy curve of tantalisation incarnate - long, pale to the point there’s swatches of pinks and purpleblues, and worst of all he is pristine. utterly untainted, without mark of any kind ( except horror of a different kind ).

a number of things are among those that cannot be done to this boy - not, at least, without breaking what’s fragile as trust. never a problem, no, but infuriating. frustrating. they tease at the edges of restraint until those weaken and fray... honestly, prompto should’ve picked something else. should’ve taken care of things before this stupid-ass date ( it’s a cute little date, and he’s enjoying himself, ngl ). should’ve... hah. damn... always harder ( har-har ) when desire and need entwine. two of a kind... hunger burns and thirst festers and if thought keeps spiralling down ( and down and down ) there will be an accident soon.

“ fair... ” fixation: the smooth line and curve of noctis’ throat bobs, shifts as he voices his own frustration --- prompto catches himself licking his lips ( oops ). that’s a bad sign... anyway, how much is a mouthful, on the whole? he’s got like what - five liters?? he can share... he can share, right?

no, that’s dumb. noise curls in on itself at throat’s back / eyes water. needs it, wants it, wants it, needs it, astrals be damned. existence is a fucking struggle and it sucks.

“ hey... noctis? ” he inches closer, sighs onto the heat near his face. mmmm... yeah, nuzzle that thro-OH FUCK TOO CLOSE. “ ugghh... i got a... strange favour to ask. ”

see, if noct’ was into that kinda shit; prompto could bait him with a blowjob. quid pro quo, no? and a mouthful really should suffice... ( dry, raspy, achey ) ...just to take the. the edge off of all that ( empty, empty, a clawing void of nothingness where warmth and life ought be ) - off all that, yeah.

“ i kinda, ” hoarse / shuddered as noct’ shifts and his embrace sparks further need ( so warm, so there, so full ) “ kinda have a. a thing i need. and it’s probably going to sound. like. bad. ” if his lip’s quiverin’, it’s totally justified. whoever thinks bein’ a vampire is fun, is wrong.

@noctibert || continued.

#if you want!#assorted noctibert #noctibert #rp && prompto argentum #verse && vamp prompto #thread tbt

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demonialex · 7 years

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1-100 😘

omfg ok under the cut cuz yeah long af

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify!

is your room messy or clean? uhhh it’s in the middle i guess lmao a little messy but not complete chaos imo?

what color are your eyes? dark brown

do you like your name? why? i hate my given name so instead i named myself alex and now i rly like it ay B)

what is your relationship status? single

describe your personality in 3 words or less caring, impatient, lazy

what color hair do you have? brown

what kind of car do you drive? color? i dont have a car

where do you shop? uhhhhh i dont really shop much cuz im broke? but sometimes in various stores it depends on what im getting?

how would you describe your style? “i don’t have enough money to dress in the style i actualyl like so this will have to do”

favorite social media account ngl it’s probably this hellsite

what size bed do you have? queen

any siblings? nah, only child

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? hmmmm probably canada? cause they seem rly chill with lgbtq ppl and they are rather safe? plus i speak the language sooo

favorite snapchat filter? ...the dog one (well out of the current ones cuz i rly miss the “greek goddess” or whatever the hell was the name of that one)

favorite makeup brand(s) kinda rly dont care tbh? i kinda of go with whats cheaper lmao and also it varies on what it is (foundation, eye shadow, etc)

how many times a week do you shower? usually every day tho im ngl today i was so exhausted (im super sick) that i forgot to shower

favorite tv show? currently? probably the magicians

shoe size? varies between 7~8 US

how tall are you? 162cm

sandals or sneakers? sneakers

do you go to the gym? ok i tried going this year but then i got drowned in homework and now i have the flu dont judge me

describe your dream date honestly i have no idea? as long as im with someone i actually like and am attracted to, and that the conversation flows, im good.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? my go-to wallet? 0. my savings wallet? i think around 1k or 1.5k i cant remember for sure? as i said, it’s a /savings/ wallet

what color socks are you wearing? im not wearing socks

how many pillows do you sleep with? one under my bed and one on each side of me so i can throw my leg over it when i roll

do you have a job? what do you do? nah, not allowed to work ;-;

how many friends do you have? uhhhhh... 3? 4? idk mate i lost A LOT of friends in the past few years :/ I have quite a few “acquaintances” now and ppl i wish were my friends but who dont seem to want the same, but actual friends i think probably just 4

whats the worst thing you have ever done? depends on who u ask, on ur morals, etc

whats your favorite candle scent? i like too many, i cant pick!! D:

3 favorite boy names guilherme, alex, leonardo ? i guess? idk

3 favorite girl names carolina, camila, alex. again, i guess lmao idk

favorite actor? dont rly have one

favorite actress? again dont rly have one oops im boring

who is your celebrity crush? fck i have way too many tbh

favorite movie? probably DEBS tbh

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?not rly... it’s not that i dont /want to/ it’s just that i constantly forget to read. my fave is probably little brother or my girlfriend is a geek

money or brains? for myself? money! on a potential partner? brains tho idc that much abt academically smart yadda yadda

do you have a nickname? what is it? Zu

how many times have you been to the hospital? uhhhh for actual important shit and not just casual check ups probably.... 4 or 5 times? i cant remember. i had pneumonia and i fractured bones quite a few times

top 10 favorite songs !!! i cant choose fam

do you take any medications daily?ye anti depressant and anti anxiety

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) always thought it was oily but apparently it’s mixed/combination

what is your biggest fear? ooo boy i have too many fears idk if i can choose a main biggest one

how many kids do you want? none thanks

whats your go to hair style? “i woke up and was too lazy to brush my hair plus if i dont brush it it looks extra fluffy and slightly curled”

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) small-ish apartment

who is your role model? dont have one tbh

what was the last compliment you received? deadass cant remember

what was the last text you sent? “thank you~”

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? no clue tbh i was still a child haha

what is your dream car? I rly dont wanna drive tbh but i find lamborghinis so fckin gorgeous

opinion on smoking? idc as long as u dont do it next to me cause it tends to make me cough a lot. tho depend on what ur smoking and the brand and if we are in an open space for some reason i dont smoke so ye

do you go to college? yup!!

what is your dream job? no clue

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs. the more things to do the better

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? i usually forget but my mom always takes them for me so :^)

do you have freckles? not the standard “a bunch of tiny ones around ur face”, but i have the classic brown ones here and there. does that make sense? :v (i hate that u guys have the same word for both kind of freckles smh)

do you smile for pictures? not usually? at most a close mouthed smile more like a smirk lmao

how many pictures do you have on your phone? i dont wanna do the math but over 1k

have you ever peed in the woods? who hasnt??

do you still watch cartoons? if animes are considered cartoons then sometimes, if not then not really

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? cant remember how the wendy’s ones taste like so i will go with mcdonalds

Favorite dipping sauce? depends on what im eating. usually blue cheese, if not then bbq

what do you wear to bed? depends on how hot it is lol

have you ever won a spelling bee? never even been to one

what are your hobbies? watching tv shows? idk mate

can you draw? kinda i guess

do you play an instrument? nah :(

what was the last concert you saw? i think it was demi lovato lmao

tea or coffee? i dont really drink either tbh. loved the tea my friend made me, and loved the coffee my grandma used to make me. alas both live too far away now

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? i deadass think i only went to dunkin donuts ONCE and i dont remember shit abt it so i will go with starbucks

do you want to get married? hmmm idc either way

what is your crush’s first and last initial? dont rly have a /major/ crush rn, just smol ones

are you going to change your last name when you get married? if their name is cooler maybe

what color looks best on you? black

do you miss anyone right now? i constantly miss too many ppl but i try to avoid thinking abt it

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed!! i hate sleeping with open doors

do you believe in ghosts? i guess?

what is your biggest pet peeve? idk fam i have too many haha im blanking rn

last person you called` probably my mom or my grandma. i hate calloing ppl so i usually just call them lmao

favorite ice cream flavor? hmm probably half baked from B&J. in general i like peanut, chocolate, vanilla, bubblegum... i have a rly sweet toothe lol

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular!

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate!! the rainbow ones taste like plastic imo

what shirt are you wearing? it’s not rly a shirt? it’s a.. camisole? i think that’s how u say it? my mom got it for me, it’s from that the despicable movie or whatever it was called

what is your phone background? lock screen is julia wicker, home screen is julia and marina

are you outgoing or shy? generally shy but id depends on who i am with i guess

do you like it when people play with your hair? if i like the person (even as friends, just as long as im comfortable with them) then hell yes i love it! if it’s a stranger or someone i rly dont like then no obvs

do you like your neighbors? i dont rly know them tbh

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? ye usually once when i wake up and once before going to bed.

have you ever been high? nah i was able to take like 2 drags and then i died coughing

have you ever been drunk? nope:( not from lack of trying lol but the taste is so gross it makes me feel a bit nauseous

last thing you ate? bread with requeijao

favorite lyrics right now the lyrics of “trem bala”. deadss considering getting part of it tattooed cause it’s so... deep? and good? and it’s sigh it’s rly good if anyone is interested i can translate is lol

summer or winter? winter

day or night? night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? white tho milk is a close second

favorite month? hmmm idk? maybe november cause mah bday?

what is your zodiac sign scorpio

who was the last person you cried in front of? i rarely cry and even more rarely cry in front of others so i dont rly remember but if i had to guess probably my mom?

#about #personal #idk how to tag this lmao #thanks for the ask haha #handsy-hollis

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