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theprismaticvoid · 11 months

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I played the Pikmin 4 Demo and I'm going fucking bananas

short version: I am incoherently making gorilla noises, both out of hype and trying to figure out how I'm gonna get the money to play it when it releases

long version:

Oh my god this looks so good.

Graphics are even better than 3 Deluxe. Large environments with lots of detail, running at a pretty smooth framerate from my experience. Playing on stock, model 1 graybox Switch (the one without the better battery life; I've heard they perform slightly better in games that tend to lag) in docked mode, I was taken aback by how great everything looked despite being on a console that's years old and which everyone says is in desperate need of a successor.

Controls feel admittedly a little worse than 3. They're not necessarily bad but they did still feel a little bit stiffer than they should. You have broader control over the camera than in any other past Pikmin game. It's cool seeing these worlds from more dynamic angles than before but it also means you have to pay more attention to the camera so you have a proper view of the action, vs other Pikmin games where you can basically just ignore it short of turning your character completely around. I did also notice some weird jank with objects clipping through the camera or the angle suddenly changing when it gets too close to a wall, but those weren't a huge deal and could hopefully be smoothed out between now and release day.

I did not like the auto lock on with the cursor. I looked through the options for a way to disable it but didn't find one - assuming it's not just a "Viv is dumb and misses the obvious moment" and there really isn't any option for it, I hope one is added for the final game.

It feels really strange how the charge, the main mechanic of 3, is missing at the start? You unlock it pretty quickly but it still seemed strange to lock that, and it really made me nervous that they were going to remove it altogether.

That being said, those are pretty much my main criticisms so far. As for the rest:

Caves

Caves feel nice this time around. I really didn't like them in 2 and I was nervous about them being the focal point of this game, but I think they've been handled well so far. Obviously I can't fully judge when the full game isn't here yet (especially since the main problems about 2's dungeons didn't come up until the mid-to-late game), but adding more puzzle elements to even the earliest caves makes me think they have more plans to keep them unique than in 2.

I normally don't like conveyor belt gimmicks in games, but including stuff like Oatchi's dash being able to get you across belts going the wrong direction makes it a lot more tolerable.

I like the idea of time passing slower in caves instead of stopping altogether... though the complete lack of a timer while underground is a REALLY bizarre inclusion and I hope it gets added to the final release (assuming it's not an upgrade, which would be a strange decision, but still better than nothing).

Pikmin

Pikmin types you don't have an Onion for yet being treated more like "treasure" is an... interesting choice. I do think it's a potentially cool way of handling potentially OP types like Purple or Ice, but I'd have to see how the final game handles them before making decisions - especially with how trailers show the Onion is divided into three "petals" and the trailers showed each of those petals turning into a different color, which makes it seem to me like you'll only get Onions for the Red, Yellow, and Blue ones this time around?

I suppose that concept could work, I just really really hope that there's nothing like the Doomsday Apparatus in 2 where it suddenly requires a massive amount of a difficult-to-get type of Pikmin out of nowhere, requiring a lot of extra grinding if you want to 100% the game.

There's generally a lot of little quality of life improvements that make the Pikmin feel a little better to use. If you target a puddle of nectar and start throwing, your captain will default to throwing leaves first, then buds, and only flowers if there are none of the other two in the type you have selected. There's also other stuff like when you try to enter a cave, the game pops up a screen that tells you what elements it contains, lets you rearrange your squad without going back to the Onion, and even has a single button that makes your squad have an equal amount of every Pikmin type the cave needs.

New Pikmin types

Ice Pikmin are a fun addition! The whole idea of making the Ultra-Bitter Spray into more of a passive ability is cool; it requires that you bring a lot of Ice Pikmin into battle with you, find an opening, and make them attack, versus how the Ultra-Bitter Spray was just a "fuck you I win" button in 2. It still feels like a cheap tactic in the demo, but I imagine it'll be more difficult to pull off on bosses in the final game.

I was worried Ice Pikmin + Oatchi being able to swim would devalue Blue Pikmin again, but the demo made me less worried about it. What they didn't show in the trailers is that Ice Pikmin need to stay in the lake to keep it frozen; if you call them out, it unfreezes after about ten seconds or so. So if you use thirty Ice Pikmin to freeze a lake, that's thirty Pikmin you don't have access to for a while. Also, Oatchi being able to swim seems to be an unlockable ability you'll get later, I tried it in the demo and he started drowning.

I'm a bit surprised that the demo doesn't include a nighttime stage (or at least if it does, I didn't find a way to trigger it) so that we could see how the Glow Pikmin work.

Story

I'm a bit confused about the story they've shown so far. The game's opening seems to be a retelling of Pikmin 1 at first, showing how Olimar crashed on PNF-404, discovered Pikmin for the first time, and recruited them in helping him repair the Dolphin... but then suddenly it shows that Olimar found a dog on the planet and recruited it to help him? And the opening level is him in a house, an environment that Olimar never went to in 1? And that when he found the Interstellar Radio, he decided to put out an SOS and wait for help to arrive?

This is so irreconcilable with what happened in 1 (no dog, no indoor environments, plus Olimar's life support system was failing in that game so stopping and it's stated in-game that waiting for help is not an option for him) that the only explanation that makes any sense is that 4 is a reboot of the series, but then it seems strange that they both didn't say that at any point in the marketing material, AND decided to call it "Pikmin 4" as if it's a direct continuation of the three games before it.

The only other explanation is that the intro misspoke when it said Olimar "discovered" the Pikmin, this is another time he's crashed, and nobody is mentioning the events of the past games for no reason.

I really hope the final game finally gives us some kind of explanation for why EVERYONE crashes onto PNF-404. 3 said there was some sort of invisible force manipulating the Drake into crashing; I hope that gets elaborated on in this game, with how the plot revolves around how the Dolphin, the Shepherd, and who knows HOW many civilian ships all crashed in a relatively short amount of time.

Being able to make your own captain is such a fun concept though, and I like that they're casually namedropping some other planets in the Pikmin universe as well.

I don't really have a wrap-up for this post so. That's it I guess.

#my ramblings #pikmin #pikmin 4

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madcatdaderpydrawer-blog · 2 years

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I. Think I just spent the last two hours deep diving into your blog lmao- Head full many thoughts and headcanons now- I just hyperfixated on all your aus at once, and it's been a while since I've read through so much new content! You are officially my favorite fnaf writer lol!

So, if you don't mind trading headcanons I was curious about why Moon and Sun hate parts and service so much! My personal hc comes from the fact that in game they have really dull, not touched up paint at all- And their room is a mess and looks like a glorified storage closet...So I'm just under the impression that they aren't very well cared for at all. I think the technicians would probably dislike Sun's energy and constant chatter (probably worse rambling when he's nervous) and I can see Sun squirming a lot when strapped down- Just in general I feel like he'd get on their nerves and they might objectively call him things like childish or annoying until he eventually starts to internalize these things with everyone but his brother. Basically a bit of verbal abuse.

Moon obviously would hate that and hate the technicians in turn- But he'd probably get his fair share of beratenment too with being so snarky and snappish compared to his brother. I feel like he'd be treated more like a feral cat than anything, where strapping him down is basically mandatory- At the end of the day I feel like both of them would just have severe anxiety revolving around parts and service and would need to go there together or not at all. Post game (if the pizzaplex doesn't burn down) they'd probably be doubly scared to go alone because Sun thinks the second they take Moon down alone they'll decommission him for all the trouble he caused- Likewise Moon is scared that they'll hurt Sun or decommission him by association.

Sorry that was a lot- I have many thoughts about parts and service! There's a lot of subtle things to pile on for angst! From what I've read your Sun and Moon hate parts and service for slightly different but still similar reasons? Mostly the decommissioning for Moon?

I'm glad someone enjoys indulging in my insanity. I swear, these two dragged me back into the fnaf fandom after years and I could not be happier. Gotta love these scrunkly boys.

Headcanon sharing is definitely fun! My reasoning is a bit similar to yours in some way. The condition of their room, and the general fact that they are probably disliked by the staff probably leads to them not liking the staff either. But it is a bit different for me.

Sun isn't necessarily scared of parts and service as much as he is the area it is located in. It's the one other part of the pizzeria he sees on a daily basis, and it is so drastically different from the daycare that it makes him anxious. It's dark, no bright colors, and feels like a haunted basement. But he gets along with the staff just fine. Sure, he is annoying to them; He moves too much, and sometimes won't stop talking, but considering they could be dealing with one of Monty's fits they are pretty lucky. As annoying as he is, he's very manageable with tricks that could literally be used on children being surprisingly efficent on him. Ask him to play the quiet game, or that if he stays still for his check up he'll get a sticker? Oh fuck yeah, it's on. Sun wants that sticker. So all in all, while he is a bit much personality wise, he also is very easy to appease. Don't flat out insult him, offer him a sticker for being good and deliver on said promise and he will be fine. He isn't hard to please. He trusts that the staff know what's best for him.

Moon on the other hand, doesn't trust them for shit. To even get him down into parts and service for anything more then a check up, they have to tell him exactly what they're going to do or he won't listen. He wants to know everything that's happening, and when they get annoyed he argues with them that it's HIS body and he has the right to want to know what they're doing to him. They found that reward doesn't work with him either, at least not something cheap like a sticker, and not having the patience to figure out how to handle his moodiness they ended up using punishment most of the time to get him to listen. Special restraints were made that could attach to the arms and back of the chair, so that they could do maintenance on him without fuss. If he gets moody, or stubborn, or moves too much, the restraints shock him. They are usually placed around his neck and wrists, and they are fairly good at making him listen; Though they are also what stemmed his fear of parts and service in the first place. The amount of times he got shocked before he grew reluctantly obedient was staggering (it was probably instated during his training period, and as I've mentioned before Moon was wayyy more hyper when he was first made- this probably had a hand in stopping that early on). These restraints aren't used on Sun because they aren't needed for him, they are only needed for Moon.

Sun also doesn't like it because he gets brought down there when he's been bad to be scolded. He gets upset because he was made to make everyone happy, and so he feels a lot of guilt for not doing that. Moon is upset being down there, and argues if he thinks what he's being scolded about is stupid, but is scared not because he feels guilt (though he does, if he did something wrong he will apologize) but more so because he's scared of being shocked for it.

Bringing them both down at the same time is worse, though. Because Moon is protective of Sun and vice versa. So Moon will ask about what they're doing to Sun, just to check to make sure it's safe and end up pestering them during Suns check up. And during Moons check up, Sun would refuse to leave parts and service because "if I leave, you'll shock him again!" (they can't put the shock restraints on Moon with Sun around because he gets irrationally upset). But after the virus, it is definitely at least partly related to them both being scared out of their mind about what will happen to the other. Sun couldn't run the daycare well alone, reflecting badly on his ability to take care of children, and Moon was.. well, Moon.

#fnaf sun #fnaf moon #sunrise #sundrop #moondrop #daycare attendant #fnaf security breach

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kunikuzxshi · 3 years

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Shigaraki smut because I’m bored

NSFW | Pairing shigaraki x female reader | degrading, oral, masturbation, restraining | Dom shiggy | Smut and some fluff (eventually)

A/N : I don’t write smut so I don’t know how good this is lol

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It almost seemed like it was intentional.

When you first joined the league, you were wearing a short, black skirt along with black thigh high boots and a dark red top. You barely had any makeup on, and you had a choker that seemed too big for your neck. Your hair covered most of your face, and your blindfold covered your eyes, leaving only your mouth visible.

The way you walked didn’t help. You hips swayed with every step you took, sometimes making your skirt ride up. Your top had a deep V neck shape, revealing some of your chest.

You sat down at the bar, taking a sip of your whiskey. You originally agreed to meet with them a month ago to talk about an alliance, but your group had disbanded. Dabi convinced you to join instead.

He couldn’t help but stare. Your h/c hair covered your ears and rested on your back, curling slightly at the end. Your quirk wasn’t special, it was useful but you couldn’t do much with it either. Yet there was still something captivating him, whether it was the mystery of what was behind your blindfold, or what was under your clothes.

He stared at you, your beautiful voice filling the room as Dabi introduced you to toga and twice. He didn’t even notice you approaching him.

“So you must be Shigaraki, nice to meet you!” You said, your voice filled with excitement. Your smile seemed to make the room that much brighter.

He wanted to say something, but you were already gone, his eyes going back to staring into space.

He would catch himself coming out of his room more just to hear your voice. You never took off your blindfold around anyone except Dabi, it was a little strange to him. Out of all the people, why would you show dabi, especially when you had him. He would cherish your beautiful eyes. Hell, he hasn’t even seen them and yet he still finds himself trying to figure out what color your eyes are, getting lost in his own imagination.

Your smile seemed to brighten the room. Every time you entered a room, all eyes were on you. He couldn’t decide if he hated it or if he liked it, most likely both. Men would go up to you, asking you out, but he knew it was only to see what was under your clothes. They were all little boys in a man’s body to him.

He could’ve treated you the way you deserved, if only you weren’t so goddamn scary. Your insults were never held back. You would say what was on your mind, whether it was a compliment or something that could completely ruin one’s self esteem. Every time someone had approached you with the familiar bouquet of flowers, you would turn them down, insulting and slapping them before turning around. He couldn’t risk it, not with the way he thinks of himself. You’d only dig a deeper hole into him, it’s not like his opinion about himself was necessarily good anyway.

Group pictures sent to him by toga would always end up covered in his seed, even if it was an innocent picture of you and twice. Hell, he’d take anything he could get. Bedsheet after bedsheet would end up stained and ruined, and he’d have to wipe off his phone afterwards.

His eyes would move over everything about you. Your neck, your hips, your smile, anything was good enough for him. He’d focus on your face the most though, trying to imagine how well you’d take him. Your neck was a good one too, oh what he’d give to see the collar he had gotten on you.

——————————————————————————

His pants were getting tighter by the second it seemed. You were so close to him, he couldn’t help it. Your scent filled the air. Dabi had spilled his liquor on your shirt, allowing some of it to become transparent. He couldn’t help but look, thank god “father” was covering his face.

He quickly got up after he had memorized that scene, sprinting back to his room before locking the door and palming his erection, biting his lip as he leaned against the door. Moving his hand down to his pants, he pulled them down. Pre had already stained his clothes unfortunately, but he didn’t care about that right now.

He could hear you yelling at Dabi behind the door. Normally, he’d be terrified that you’d yell at him next, but this was a special case. He started stroking his cock, smearing pre over his lower half. His lip had started to bleed due to the pressure he put it on in an attempt to muffle his groans.

God, he couldn’t get enough. Your shirt was transparent, just enough to the point where he could see your bra. Some had gotten on your thighs, and some was on your face. He could’ve cleaned you off if you would let him, but you were to busy with Dabi to pay attention to him. Oh what he’d give to see your bra on the floor in his bedroom.

He came in his hand, his seed dripping onto the floor, earning a drawn out moan from him. The noise had stopped, and he started panicking. What if you hear him? What would you do if you did? Surely you’d humiliate him in front of everyone. Everything seemed to stop. His head was spinning, and his heart seemed to jump out of his chest.

A few minutes later, you slammed your door shut. That’s all it took for him to calm down.

——————————————————————————

After about a month, Shigaraki had warmed up to you. He let you in his room. He had a tall bookshelf in the corner, filled with mangas from multiple different anime’s on one shelf, and video games on the next. There were clothes on the floor, but you expected there to be. The only clean areas were his bed, his computer, and his couch. The rest was either covered in energy drink cans or clothes, most likely both.

He sat down on his couch, motioning for you to sit next to him. He started up a movie as you curled up into your hoodie, the room was colder than you’d expected. After about 5 minutes of shivering, you moved closer to him, curling up in his lap, trying to warm up.

What an unfortunate spot for you to be.

He tried to move you, but every time he repositioned you, you ended up back on the same spot, right on his hardening cock. You already assumed that whatever was poking you was a key or a pocket knife.

Every time you moved, your ass rubbed against his cock. He had to bite his lip to stop himself from moaning in your ear. He wasn’t complaining, but it wasn’t exactly the best thing that could happen right now. How would you react if you found out your boss had a thing for you, getting to the point where he gets hard just thinking about you? You’d call him a creep, wouldn’t you?

You only noticed when you felt something wet against you. You got out of his lap and took off your skirt to inspect the wet spot. That only made his throbbing erection worse. His cock was painfully hard, the last thing he needed was for you to humiliate him, even if it was only you two.

Looking down at him sitting on the couch, you finally noticed the tent in his pants. He couldn’t even look at you, he just sat there, waiting for you to insult him.

“I’m sorry... it just happened. I tried to move you! I swear! It’s not my fault...” he mumbled, letting his hair cover his face so he didn’t have to look at you.

Imagine the surprise on his face when you kissed him.

He wasted no time in forcing your mouth open for his tongue. Immediately, he started groping anywhere he could reach, his hands slipping under your hoodie. You tried to pull away to breathe, but he didn’t let you, holding your head in place, still trying to get a taste of you.

He pulled away, eagerly taking off your clothes, only leaving you in your underwear, before doing the same. He pulled you on his lap, biting your neck to leave proof that he was there, that he had you, even for a few minutes. His grip on you tightened, he didn’t want this to be the last time.

Your blindfold was still on, that’s the one thing he didn’t try to take off. You slowly removed it, dropping it on the floor as he picked you up and carried you to the bed. His eyes tearing up a little bit from the thought of you leaving. He didn’t even realize you took your blindfold off.

He didn’t find disgust when he looked into them, most people would have despised him, calling him a creep and a pervert. You didn’t seem to care that he was staring at you. All he found was soft, e/c eyes staring back into his. It made his heart stop, he could get lost in your eyes for hours.

He reached behind you to unclip your bra. He couldn’t believe you didn’t push him away, everyone else would have. His chuckle made your eyes glow more than they already did, a small smile appearing on your face, barely noticeable from where he was.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him back into a heated kiss, his hands exploring your thighs as you let him have you. He took in every scent, every sound, every movement, anything that had to do with you. He loved it, it made his heart ache thinking it would end.

He moved one of your hands to his member, his precum staining his boxers. You pulled away and kissed his jaw, squeezing his cock through his boxers, earning a yelp from him as he started thrusting his hips into your touch.

You removed his boxers, revealing his throbbing member. It definitely wasn’t small, and you weren’t sure how it’d fit. Tomura’s a fairly skinny guy, but his cock was the opposite. Long and thick, the head of it covered in his precum, already covering your hand.

He groaned as you moved your hand up and down it, his eyes closing as he threw his head back. It felt so good to have a girl touch him so intimately, especially you. He forced your head down, your lips just an inch away from the leaking head of his cock.

His breathing picked up as he pushed your head down on his cock. God, you felt good. He started thrusting into your mouth, giving you no time to adjust. It wasn’t bad, not at all, the only thing you could complain about was your jaw starting to hurt.

It didn’t take him long to finish. He pulled your head back before throwing you back against the bed. His hands found their way to your wrists, pinning them above your head. You looked so pretty with his cum on you, he couldn’t resist taking a picture!

As you tried to get comfortable, he slid his hand under your underwear, making you freeze.

“Damn, you really are a slut, aren’t you?” He said, a small chuckle following not long after as he shoved a finger inside, your whimpers only fueling him.

“It would be a shame to let you go, wouldn’t it? You’d make such a good little pet, just for me...” he said, his voice low and husky as he leaned against your ear.

Pushing two fingers into you, he rubbed your clit with his thumb, cherishing every noise you made, memorizing every moan and whine that came out of your mouth. Every little movement, every little sound, he had memorized, just in case this was the only time, in case you actually grew brain cells and realized what was going on.

He knelt down, his face eye-level with your dripping little cunt. He pulled his fingers out and licked them, cherishing your taste. Slowly, he pushed his tongue in, letting you get used to the feeling before lapping at your walls.

His hands grabbed your thighs, keeping you from closing your legs around his head as he continued his assault. With every lick, he moaned shamelessly against your clit. Your lewd noises only fueled him as he pulled you closer to him.

“C’mon little slut, I’m waiting. It’s alright, go ahead and let yourself go, I won’t complain.” He said, his smirk growing as he lowered his head again, hands gripping your thighs harder.

He licked up every drop of your cum, whether it was on his bed or on you. He got up, immediately pinning your arms as he crawled on top of you. He lowered his head to bite your neck, more proof that he was there, and proof that it had actually happened.

He pulled your hips up to meet his own, lining ha cock against your entrance as he pushed the tip in. He let you adjust to just his tip before he slammed the rest of his member into you. Your pleas for him to slow down falling on deaf ears as he pounded into your tight little cunt.

“Good girl, you’re taking me so well! I’ll break you slowly, sound good? I’m sure you’ll be fine. You were already so fucking wet for me, weren’t you? You like being held by your boss, don’t you? C’mon little slut, let me hear how good I make you feel, it’s just us!” He whispered in your ear, his pace never ceasing.

You couldn’t even speak, only managing to get one or two words out before getting cut off by your own noises. All you could do was nod, but that seemed to get the message through.

He sped up, chasing his own release as he played with your thighs, kneading the soft skin on one before moving his hand back to your hips.

“That’s it baby, just like that! You’re doing so well! It’d be a shame to stop now, but I don’t think you want me to.”

He finished with a groan, taking his cock out of your swollen cunt, letting both of your juices leak out before taking a picture. He’d have material for weeks now.

He laid down next to you, slipping on your hoodie for you before pressing his chest against your back. His arms found their way around your waist. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, leaving gentle kisses along your collarbone and up your neck.

“You won’t leave me... right?” He asked, his voice quiet and weak as he spoke, barely audible at all.

“Of course not shig! Why would you think that? Is something wrong?” You asked, your voice stained with concern. All he did in response was shake his head.

——————————————————————————

“What’s wrong with him!” You shouted, unaware that Tomura was behind the door, waiting with food he had gotten for you. “He just won’t leave me alone Toga, what’d I even do? He’s persistent, and its getting on my nerves.” You said, his heart broke into a million pieces.

This wasn’t you, it couldn’t be. It was just one of twice’s clones, it had to be! There was no way his loving girlfriend would say anything like that about him... right?

“You could just tell shig doll.” Dabi spoke up, his figure looming over yours as he moved to the door. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind taking care of it, just one less asshat for both of you.”

“He’s busy, and every time I try to talk to him, he gets dragged away by someone. So tell me, how am I supposed to do that? He’s barely ever alone with me anyway.” You said, clearly annoyed, though it did help you to know Dabi at least thought about a solution for you. Guess he did care at least some.

Toga stood in silence as Shigaraki tried to process what he had heard. Your food was getting cold by the time he realized it wasn’t about him. Slowly, he waited for a description, but he never got one.

Instead, he followed you for the day. Waiting for this so called “asshat” to approach you. So far, everyone that had approached you had a reason, whether it was to talk about an upcoming mission or to ask about your relationship.

Just as he was leaving for a meeting, that little son of a bitch had showed up. He was being really touchy with you, grabbing you from behind and talking to you like you were old pals. It made Tomura’s blood boil.

“Y/N! We’re late, let’s go.” He shouted, just looking for some excuse to get you away from him.

The second you were within his reach, he grabbed you. Quickly biting your neck before licking the wound. He pampered you with kisses, holding you tightly against him. Your face might as well be the color red itself. He only stopped to glare at the other male, who was watching in disbelief, before going back to you.

——————————————————————————

He always had you next to him from then on, whether it was just for a quick meeting or a conversation with Re-destro. The only exception was missions, you weren’t even allowed to go anywhere outside of the base without him or one of the original league members, maybe even Re-destro or Trumpet if he was in a good mood.

There were days he’d clear his schedule just so he could stay in bed with you for an extra few hours before you woke up.

When he’d leave, there would always be a pile of his clothes on his gaming chair for you. He’d gotten you shoes to match his. He let you paint his nails once or twice before as well. He’d walk around the base with his hands on display, clearly taking pride in them, all because it was done by you. Toga would laugh with Dabi, twice would argue with himself about whether it was cute or not, and the other males would ignore it.

Every night, he’d usually come back to his room with you sleeping in his bed. On rare occasions when you couldn’t sleep, you’d curl up in his lap and sleep. He’d have to carry you back to his room from his spot in meetings, kissing your forehead before going back to reviewing mission plans.

On rare occasions that you were awake, you’d leave food on the bedside table for him in case he got back before you. Little stickers would be placed on the side of the plate, almost always left by toga or twice. You had given up on taking them off, for every time you’d remove one, another one would show up in the same spot.

The first time you had gotten your period, he freaked out. You were mad at him and he didn’t even know why! He thought he fucked up, that you’d break up with him the second you calmed down. Eventually, Toga explained it to him. She would give him small snacks for him to leave next to you. Rings, roses, necklaces, and food would be left as peace offerings. If you needed anything he’d get it, whether you asked for it or not. He did find it cute when you’d sit in the pile of clothes he had worn for the day in one of his hoodies, but you’d never let him actually put them back on.

You’d both spend hours trying out games. He bought you your own controller and wrote your name on it. The second anyone would touch it, he’d throw the nearest object at them, whether it was a chair or a pen.

You’d walk around the base in his clothes, which were clearly too big on you. Sometimes you’d even attempt to match him. You’d bandage your limbs and slip on some of his clothes in order to look like him. The only difference in clothing was your blindfold and “father”. He’ll drag you around and show you off for the whole day. Don’t complain please, it makes him happy when you act like it’s fun, even if it isn’t.

The only time either of you would take off your face covering was when you two were alone. Every time, he’d get lost in your eyes as you held his hand. Artist gloves were worn every time, just in case. He couldn’t get enough of you. Every detail, every noise, and every movement was memorized.

He was changing the whole world for you, whether he admits it or not.

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I really don’t like how it turned out but it’s been in my drafts for a long time

#shigaraki x y/n #tomura shigaraki x you #tomura shigaraki #Shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki smut #bnha shigaraki #league of villains #shigaraki #shimura tenko x reader #shimura tenko #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki fluff

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makingspiritualityreal · 2 years

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On the sad reality of participating in spiritual communities

In the earlier part of my life, my existence was more "mainstream". I was raised by my family into duty, and until I graduated high school this is what my life was about. Not that I ever lacked depth of character, but I was simply working too hard to even look at my emotions. I treated my friends casually, even if I knew some of them for many years, as my work and studying and investing into myself came first. Not even for my personal happiness, but because I knew I couldn't count on anyone but myself, and because of family pressure.

I was raised by a single mother. After I graduated high school, she died unexpectedly and prematurely due to heart failure. If before I was slightly detached from my peers due to always being different from most and my forced maturity due to taking up so many obligations so early in life, having a tragic event at a young age isolated me from everyone even more. It isolated me from my family, that has shown its true colors, even though they should have shared in the pain with me and supported me through a tough time, and that I know I won't have positive relations with ever again. It isolated me from the people I used to be able to be around, as they couldn't relate to the sudden changes in my psyche, that were a natural result of such traumatic events in life.

It isolated me from my peers, because while they were spending their 20s being carefree, enjoying life and getting drunk at student parties, sheltered by their parents, I spent them suffering, in deep depression, with no support system, with reality looming at me both from an emotional and practical point of view, desperately trying to survive. People acted as if I was contagious, like they didn't want anything to do with the life I was forced to live now, even though I had no control over it.

As I adjusted slowly to the painful new reality I was in, I let go of the shallower connections that couldn't handle my entrance into the spiritual path and my search for depth and authenticity in all areas of life. I knew that there was one thing I absolutely needed in my new connections. I needed to find people, that could understand and relate to the level of suffering I've been through. In crude terms, once you go through so much pain, you can't connect to people unless they understand a certain level of messed up. You can't open up to people who don't understand what you want, what you need, how you feel or the alienation that depression brings you in life.

I also knew that I will never find enough people of that sort in my local community. Even while connecting with people internationally, online, among these people that can relate to my story, I also needed people that had enough compatibility with me on an individual level, which of course remains a necessity even in spiritual communities. For many years now, these were the friendships and relationships I was cultivating. This was the type of partner I wanted to be with, this was the kind of circle I thought I would find unity in. Yet, as I went through more and more people over the years, and I met so many of them, each of them with their own unique problems, I learned another painful lesson.

Being troubled and depressed doesn't necessarily make you a good person. Looking for support and understanding in like-minded communities, looking for people who can relate to your pain is human, but doesn't guarantee you are safe with those people at all.

It is of course necessary, especially for an intimate partnership, to have this basic understanding of how the other party suffered, but just because you find someone who has been through things, even if they have gone through difficult experiences that are even worse than what you've been through (and I have met plenty of these kind of people as well), doesn't guarantee that this is a good person, or that they will treat you well.

Perhaps it was a naïve assumption on my part, that someone who understands pain is hypersensitive to it, and thus makes it a point not to hurt others, knowing how bad it feels. Perhaps it was a projection on my part, because this is how I live my life. But I have had people who should have technically understood and related to my suffering more than anyone else hurt me the most. I have seen people, that I have given passes to due to my compassion for them, have no compassion for me at all, and try to use me for their own advantage, and then be very surprised that I would eventually stop contributing to these connections, even if it took me time to get there. I have seen people complain, that they had no one look at their feelings, and then be cruel and selfish with others at the same time. I have seen people, whose pain has taught them nothing.

Don't go into spiritual or astrological communities believing that people you find there must necessary possess a certain level of integrity. I have met people that I used to look up to due to their content, and then found that they're hypocritical in person, have very little self-awareness, and don't practice anything they preach, and they're just as abusive as anyone who has abused them.

It is a sad side of suffering, that while some people do their best to transform and raise out of their ashes, some people refuse to grow and just dig their hole deeper, and try to pull others under with them. They could have been victims of abuse, originally. That ceases to matter, if they perpetuate abusive behaviours themselves.

If you're already traumatised, you have an extra obligation to yourself to be discerning about who you let into your life. If you're already depressed to begin with, and you let the wrong people into your heart, which is easy to do because you may not have the strength to defend yourself at your lower point, gather the little energy you have left and protect yourself. You don't need the extra burden of having to get over your attachment to a person, who brings additional toxicity into your life, when you already have so much healing to do, just to be able to breathe without being in pain.

I can tell you from experience, that next to my challenges in physical living conditions with zero support from anyone, this is the number one cause for misery in my life. Hoping to have friends and a life partner with whom I could find relating and understanding, and ending up with people, who never deserved my time in the first place. Looking at people's souls and lives through the eyes of love, and have them completely take who I am for granted. It was a shock to me to find that out, but you can deliver someone exactly what they need on a silver platter, you can try to find strength in yourself to uplift someone even if you're not doing well yourself, and they can still have the gall to kick you while you're laying down. I repeat, integrity is a rare find, even in Astrological and Spiritual circles.

If you are someone, who is trying to raise above the challenging circumstances in your life, if you're trying to alchemise the pain instead of doing to others what has been done to you, if you don't lie to yourself about things and make it your life mission to do better than what was done to you, you are the most precious commodity you will ever find. Protect yourself and care for yourself with all your might. Put all the value on yourself, and honour your choices and the light you carry within.

You deserve to be around people, who will enrich your life, and who will make sure, that even if you can't ever fully avoid troubles in life, at least they will be there to help you through them, and you will be able to be vulnerable around them without feeling like you're putting yourself at risk.

Emotionally abusive behaviours are common in people who love to play the victim, but people's actions speak for themselves. It doesn't matter how much the other person may have suffered through someone else's actions, you have an obligation to judge them by their actions towards you.

Regardless of the obstacles you face, your choices will determine the course of your life. If someone chooses to hurt you, it defines who they are. But if you constantly let others take advantage of you, that ultimately will define you as well.

You have a responsibility for your life, that no one can take away from you. That responsibility also means you have all the power. You have the power to decide who has access to you. So if someone has decided to take hurtful actions towards you, no matter how much they are hurt themselves, you have the power to decide to choose better for yourself.

#spiritual community #spirituality #astrology #making spirituality real

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darkwood-sleddog · 3 years

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Ok, this is a very genuine question, but could you please list out and maybe go in a bit detail on what's wrong with the whole AKC, and history? I've very curious with wanting to know when such a stress on looks and bloodline came to be, especially when older breeds were simply bred for a job.

The AKC and kennel clubs as a concept are not inherently a bad thing. I think registries are a GREAT thing, we should be keeping track of pedigrees and accepting registrations imo. What’s frustrating to me is the closing of stud books (meaning no new blood can enter breeds) and an unrealistic expectation/desire for perfection/uniformity and the attitude that surrounds that.

Dogs shows and kennel clubs came to be because people wanted a way to exhibit their breeding stock and compare them, so they could plan their breedings, they sprung up around cattle showing (and we can see the similarities to these two venues today). There’s a pretty nice article HERE.

In the modern day, many people believe that a breeding is only reputable if the dog is both health tested AND titled to Championship. It was not always like this in the past, just go look at pedigrees from the early and mid century 1900s. Championship and often Grand Champion in the US have become expectations to prove ones reputability instead of proving the actual quality of the dog. Breeders that breed non-championed dogs can be ripped into by many people, believing that the dog has not proven itself to be breeding quality (often completely ignoring that the dog may bring other things to the breeder’s program like a good temperament, working attitude, genetic diversity, structural fixes etc).

The sport of showing, or taking conformation as a sport to excel in rather than what it is supposed to be (an evaluation of breeding quality in dogs) creates a competitive atmosphere which means that people will be acquiring or breeding a dog that meets what is most likely to win. This causes extreme uniformity (it is not unrealistic to expect breeds to be uniform and represent breed type across a spectrum in the breed, but for them to look clone like is, imo, not it). This competitive nature has gradually grown and grown over the years, as is natural (humans love to compete with each other).

In addition, the show world is very “who you know” so judges are not necessarily impartial (and this is not a new thing in dog shows, the partiality of judges has been questioned since the beginning lmao) and well known judges may put up dogs related to their own lines or what they desire, creating a specific ring look. In a desire to win (be it conscious or not), many people will breed towards a ring trend and this is how many breeds have changed dramatically or subtly over time in addition to actual improvements and disprovements in structure and health that may happen over time with breeding programs. This creates an exclusive club that truly feels outing to those not on the “in” and the exclusive group of people will push their agenda, therefore forcing those with slightly differing dogs to look elsewhere (truly some of these people can be so nasty and the rise of social media has not helped this). This means that dogs that don’t fit the now very narrow view of the breed are pushed out of show circles or into non AKC show circles, effectively reducing the gene pool (because often AKC folks will look down on non AKC clubs in the US and not intermingle their dogs). In addition, in AKC dogs can be handled by a professional handler, somebody who makes money specifically off handling dogs in the show ring, creating further exclusivity (handlers can be expensive and is also connected very much to “who you know”), competitive nature, and includes a bit more capitalism.

The extreme uniformity in many show dogs we see today is the result of closed stud books. When a stud book is closed you can’t add ANY new genetics, this makes it very easy to breed true to type (meaning when you breed a border collie to a border collie you will get more border collies for example), but as dogs are culled from that gene pool (perhaps they don’t fit the ring trend or have a minor flaw like a white marking), the dogs become very closely related. Especially when you are in show circles many of the dogs are even MORE closely related. This causes extreme uniformity because the show only people are unwilling to take dogs into their gene pools they deem “lesser” for being a bit different, but no less of the breed than their own. Now many breeders are aware of the dwindling genetic diversity in their breeds and conscious do things to help this, however it’s not enough of them imo.

To fix some of these issues Champion and Grand Champion need to be reserved for truly exceptional dogs and I think for working breeds a working test prior to championship being attained would be appropriate and for companion breeds, a companion temperament test. Currently if a dog is campaigned for a length of time and the judges they are shown under are chosen carefully, they can champion (dogs need 15 points and 3 major wins for CH in AKC). Which is not necessarily then a mark of quality, just a mark of how much money/time the owner/breeder had to put towards the dog achieving points). A less exceptional dog may be campaigned for a long amount of time and a truly wonderful example of a breed may campaigned for a short amount of time and they will both be Champions (and unless you know what went on with that specific dog and aren’t very educated in that specific breed then how will you know the quality of Dog 1 is different than that of Dog 2 when they are given an equal stamp of quality from the show ring?)

A more expansive grading of the dog’s quality (E for Exceptional through P for poor for example vs just points/Champion and above) would allow a greater diversity in the ring and a more nuanced explanation of what that judge/club thinks of the dog’s breeding quality (The Norsk Kennel Club has a system similar to this). Reduce entry fees. Ban professional handlers (reduction of capitalistic intent in the show ring), make Champion a mark of a truly exceptional dog, understand that not every dog is exceptional, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t breeding quality. Make health tests on parents mandatory for the registration of litters. Open stud books. Make registrations more easily to looked up/at. If a marking or coloring occurs naturally/historically within the breed it should be fine to show (I’m looking at YOU white shepherds). Would that make showing more complicated? Heck yeah. Would any of these changes be likely to happen? Heck no...the AKC is pretty stuck in their ways.

This is a really complex question, not one I’m able to answer in 100% accuracy in terms of why and how, other than....dog people are privileged. And they operate the AKC as such. I recommend looking into the literature from decades past and comparing them with prevailing attitudes now to get a better feel for how your breed of choice may have changed for better or for worse. Old breed literature and looking at how that literature evolves over time is a great insight into the ever morphing attitudes in the AKC.

#faq #dog breeding #akc #not against akc or kennel clubs at all #just they need to modernize and change imo #mysty-nights-and-water-ghosts

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kayxleeee · 3 years

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Steve Rogers: The Man Out Of Time (Steve Rogers x Reader!)

Warning: NONE! FLUFFFFFFF Just Sad Steve and a moment of a nosey Romanoff .

A/N: Love this one to death! Still contemplating on if I should make a second part.

Summary: After the teams attempt to try and stop Ultron and failing horribly, you all find yourselves at the Barton’s Family farm. Steve is shooken up about his vision, and is reflecting on the life that he will never have. This was a side of Cap you never really seen before, he had never been this venerable with anyone. He was the one who held the team together and called everyone out on their bullshit. You find yourself consoling him, possibly blossoming a friendship into something more.

Word Count: 1k+

“Hey you.” You say standing in the doorway of the Barton’s spare bedroom.

“Hi.” Steve says lowly not looking up at you. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, visibly upset looking down at his already folded hands.

“What happened out there ?” You say referring to the squabble he and Tony had while breaking down wood for Laura. Steve got pretty pissed very quickly, which was kinda unusual for him, since he has always been the level headed one.

“It was nothing, I’m fine.” He sighs not breaking his focused gaze from his hands.

“Oh yeah, I can totally tell you are Steve. Just a typical ray of sunshine.” You say sarcastically hoping to lighten his mood.

The situation with Ultron was spiraling out of control, and that witch bitch only made matters one-hundred percent worse. From the visions, to the ambush, to the media buzz, you weren’t sure if the avengers would even recover. It was obvious that this new mission to stop Ultron was too much for even the strongest of the bunch, which was understandable, but still alarming.

“Come on.” You sigh leaning against the doorframe crossing your arms trying to examine his face. “You can talk to me, you don’t always have to be the most levelheaded one in the room. And plus I won’t leave you alone unless you tell me what’s up.”

“Now that I can believe.” He huffs out a small chuckle looking up at you, then takes a deep breath. “It’s all just a bit overwhelming.” He admits.

“Yeah I know this all may seem like a lot, but Tony meant well by building Ultron. He—“

“That’s—that’s something we can fix.” He says shaking his head. “I wasn’t, I mean I’m not that worried about Ultron because I have faith we will win that fight.” He says this then looks back down at his hands in his lap. “We just gotta figure out how.”

You sigh as you look at him confused hoping that he’d continue and share his thoughts. You were relived that he was ready to fight Ultron, together, and glad he had faith that the team would win; But if it wasn't Tony creating Ultron that bothered him it was something so much bigger.

It was the vision.

This made you gravely concerned about what he saw, what could be making him react this way, so solemn and hot headed. You walk all the way into the small farm house bedroom and sit next to him on the full sized bed, putting a hand over his own.

“Steve, talk to me.” You encourage him in a soft voice, giving his hand a squeeze.

This was all very knew territory, so you were shocked when he looked up at you through glossy eyes, before opening his mouth to speak again.

“I just can’t get it out of my head. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“About what Steve? The vision? Because that’s what they want, the twins, Ultron, they want us all to be off our game Steve. None of what you saw was real.” You say reassuring him by caressing your thumb over his hands.

“That’s the problem, it wasn’t real...but it- I’m the man out of time.”

“The man out of time?” You question repeating after him. You frown at the dumb catch phrase everyone seemed to use to describe Steve as. “What did you see?”

“I was with… with, her.” He sighs getting up from his position on the bed and walking over to the window. “It’s this, this whole secret life Bartons been living.” He pushed the cream colored curtains aside slightly gazing out the window. “I just wish that things could be different, that maybe I could… be happy like them.”

It dawned on you finally why he was upset. Steve never got the opportunity to live his life, in his time. He was so busy trying to prove himself or be the person everyone else wanted him to be. When he finally got a chance to show what he was made of— well he obviously got he short end of the stick. And now, well he’s so busy saving the world he’s barley even gotten a chance to live it now. He has told you about Peggy once or twice and how he fell in one with her, but you never thought he’d be so upset now.

“Steve…” You say not necessarily knowing what to say. You get up from the bed and walk over to him putting a hand on his shoulder. You turn your gaze outside the window to see Laura and Clint cuddle up on their yard, watching their children play.

He lets out a sigh. “That witch, the girl, the vision she gave me. It just felt so real,” He takes a deep breathe and turns to you. “I’ll never have that and the vision, it just made me think of just how much I missed… how much I’m missing.”

You sigh and decide to pull him into a hug immediately. You couldn't even try to pretend to know what he was going through. He doesn’t hug back right away, but in time he does. He rest his chin on the top of your head and holds you tight taking a deep breath inhaling shakily as you rub circles around his back. The two of you stay like this for a moment, while you gathered the correct words that you wanted to say, without making him feel worse. You hoped he didn’t mind your silence and hoped that maybe he needed this quiet and this closeness, just to feel someone was there with him.

After a few more moments you finally speak still holding on to him.

“Steve, you’re not a man out of time, I really hate that saying. It literally makes no sense to me because - not the point. What I am trying to say is you have multiple people here in this time who care about you and want to see the best for you, myself included.” You finally say as you pull away from him slightly so that you were able to get a good look at his face.” I think I’m the one rooting for you the most.”

It was true, you heavily looked up to Steve, and not just because he was taller or because he was the leader... But because he was truly a good man and always had good intentions. You would follow him into the trenches if he told you to, that's how much you trusted him and this is why it hurt you to see him so distraught.

You continue to speak. “I love you Steve, I really do, but your problem is you put the needs of others before your own.” You look at him as he looks at you, his blue eyes peering into your own as the wheels in his head begin to turn. You continue, “Honestly tell me, have you ever asked yourself what you wanted and just let yourself have it?”

He’s now looking at you in shock or confusion, either way his eyes were peering hard into yours as he thinks for a moment.

He frowns and shake his head no, then says, “I guess not… I’ve been so wrapped up in saving the world, I never really got a chance.” He says this with his hands still comfortably wrapped around you.

“Well I think you oughta think about that one mister.” You say giving him a smile and a quick peck on the cheek, about to pull him back in for another hug—

“Oh there you two are.” Natasha says as she peeps her head into the door way. You both turn to her still very close to one another. Her face goes from flat, too surprised, then back to normal. The two of you let go of each and move apart. You were calm, while Steve looked embarrassed.

“Don't stop on my account love birds.” She says with a smirk.

“ Everything alright Natasha?” Steve says clearing his throat trying to ignore her comment.

The smirk never leaves her face and she shakes her head “Fury is here, meeting in 5.” She says popping her head out just as fast as she popped in.

“Love birds? Jeez you’d think men and women can’t be just friends.” You scoff shaking your head looking at Steve who was turning red.

“Well… that’s Natasha for you.” He says kinda sounding awkward.

You continue, “She’s one to talk, have you seen the eyes her and Banner have been givin each other ? It’s gross.” You laugh.

“Yeah, we better get out there then…” He drifts seeming as if he wants to drop the conversation entirely.

“We should.” You say now feeling uneasy at Steve’s awkwardness, but decide to backtrack quickly before heading out of the room by saying, “ Hey listen, I still want you to think about what you want Steve. Really think about it and then just go for it!” You say emphasizing the word you.

“Thanks for this (Y/n), I think I have somewhat of a idea of what that is now.” He stares at you for a moment more, then looks away. Which surprisingly gave you butterflies because he had never looked at you that way before, it was different.

“Well- that, that was easy enough.” You fumble on your words before taking a deep breath and gaining your composure. “ Will you share with the class anytime soon?” You say trying to ignore the feeling as your face heats up.

“Maybe later.” He says with a sincere smile. “Sometimes it’s just nice to know I have people here for me.” He shoves his hands in his pocket and nods his head towards the doo. “Let’s go.”

“Of course Steve.” You nod feeling relived, that he was feeling better. You walk towards the door with him close behind. “Maybe we can set you up with a secret farm too.” You chuckle a bit.

“Oh shut up.” He says throwing his head back with a chuckle realizing you were what he needed.

“Do you like goats and stuff?” You laugh.

“(Y/n)!” He chuckles again as you both walk down the hallway into the living room where the meeting was being held.

Thoughts, Comments, or Opinions :)

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x black!reader #steve rogers x reader #chris evans #one shot #Steve Rogers one shot

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lizbotw · 3 years

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it’s only sharing a disgustingly sweet milkshake at the local college town diner after both of your evening classes that suna graciously provides the answers to the math homework.

the spongy pencil eraser is easy for you to sink your teeth into as you puzzle over his handwriting. “you know,” you mumble around the nib, trying to figure out if that’s a 5 or a 6, “i never know why you do this to me every week.” this time the drink with two plastic straws floating in an unhealthy heaping of whip cream is a syrupy strawberry flavor.

rintarou tips forward to sip at one of them and in your peripheral, chunky pink-coated fruit pieces travel up the clear tube and disappear between his lips. he releases the straw with an annoying ah that makes you frown, even if you weren’t concentrating in the first place. “aw, don’t tell me you don’t like hanging out with me.” he feigns hurt.

a well placed sip of your own allows you to avoid having to answer that—you have a personal rule of never being sappy in the presence of calculus. if you didn’t like him, suna knows you wouldn’t be hanging out with him—there are just some things you can’t do, even if it’s for the sake of your grade. none of this has to be said out loud of course, but he decides to be annoying and ask anyway.

actually—well... maybe hanging out is... not exactly how this appears to bystanders.

sharing a drink like this, you two probably look more like a couple on a (terribly cheap) afternoon date, rather than two broke college students that split meals to save money and believe that sharing answers for homework isn’t cheating, it’s collaboration.

ha, as if it would ever be different—things like the former never come true. maybe in movies, but that’s about where the line is drawn.

as if he knows what you’re thinking, suna raises an eyebrow at you over the glass, a smile playing on his lips—the same stupid look he always gives you. it feels particularly worse this evening.

it’s hard to avoid eye contact with him mere inches away, but you manage when a car painted a very interesting shade of red rumbles past the fingerprint covered window. you’re grateful for the distraction.

the subject changes when you realize suna has terrible taste when it comes to ordering milkshakes. “what flavor is this?” you spit out the word as though the very concept of calling this a real flavor is more disgusting than the drink itself, smacking your lips and screwing up your face at the excessively saccharine, artificial strawberry aftertaste.

this is no ordinary strawberry milkshake. no, this is a so-bad-only-suna-rintarou-would-order-something-this-horrible-(and-not-necessarily-on-purpose-either) strawberry milkshake.

“valentine’s valor,” he states matter-of-factly like those words mean anything to you. you stare at him until he elaborates. “their valentine’s special,” he clarifies and is gifted with a sarcastic thumbs-up from you in thanks—it is pointedly ignored and suna slings an arm over back of his seat. “dunno the exact flavor though. forgot.”

it tastes like the embodiment of pink, you decide. valentine’s valor. what a stupid name. there are a million and one better words that start with v... you can name at least five with a little thinking. you should ask them to hire you as part of their marketing team, you decide.

maybe it’s fitting title though. you certainly need valor to even think about taking another sip of that... concoction—which you do because you are obsessed with getting your money’s worth.

“valentine’s day was half a week ago?” your mental calendar helpfully supplies.

the clatter of pans in the back kitchen somehow mingles charmingly with the way rintarou throws his head back to laugh—a scene straight out of a movie really. you decide you hate him in the moment. “right you are. want a prize?” ugh. you stick your tongue out at his tone.

great. as if to add insult to injury, of course you’re sharing an out-of-date love holiday special with suna of all people. valentine’s was four days ago and this is where you are on a thursday night. the sticky upholstery of the booth seat, ripped and fraying at the corners, squeaks and groans and attaches itself to the fabric of your jeans as you shift around, suddenly hot. what a strange situation to be in, you think. this has to be a metaphor for life—then again, you’d been thinking this whole... thing has been a metaphor anyway.

yup, ever since suna sat next to you in a calculus II lecture all those fated months ago and took pity on how much you fucking sucked at math, up until the present where he takes slightly less pity on you but does enjoy emptying your dorm mini-fridge and making you pay for his milkshakes—all of it. this entire thing with him. one big stupid metaphor.

the specifics of how you came to have a routine like this are certainly murky, but two things are for certain—one, your calculus grade is certainly a lot better than it would have been otherwise, and two, you have one friend more than you did at the start of the school year. (that last one is kind of a big deal, you think. the college social scene is brutal. the word friend has started to become more disappointing than exhilarating lately though.)

rin reaches to your left to pick at the fries you’d ordered as a side—you’ve learned not to try and stop him. “also,” he adds, mouth full, “you’re totally getting me a new pencil after this.” yes, true, the pencil you’re currently leaving frustrated teeth marks all over isn’t yours. very easy to forget in the moment. you’ve probably destroyed 15 of his pencils by now for the 15 weeks of the last semester—only 7 so far for the current one. you do the mental math.

instead of drawing in the sharp lines of the differential equation that should be going in the question box, you lightly trace in the curves of a 2 and then another one next to it in the corner of the worksheet, graphite underlining them both in one swoop. the horribly thin paper of the school library’s printer is scratchy as you write but soon you flip the pencil over and under your fingers to tap the eraser (that has seen better days) just below what you wrote. “this is pencil number 22.”

suna leans over to look at the number as if you hadn’t just told him what it said. what an idiot. “glad you’re keeping count.” he settles back into his seat. “when can i expect my reimbursement?”

“you’re funny,” you say, without a hint of humor in your voice. the pretty 22 you had written now has flower petals growing off of the sides as you get distracted doodling along the edges of your work. it’s quiet for a moment as he watches you, or maybe as he takes the chance while you’re distracted to shove more french fries down his throat—either option is plausible and you don’t lift your eyes to check.

something occurs to you.

“rin.” you take an extended pause in between the words as you continue drawing, just to annoy him. you don’t continue speaking until he grumbles in acknowledgment (you try to hide your smile). “do you ever doodle in your notebooks?” now that you thought about it, suna was surprisingly pretty straight-laced when it came to class—you couldn’t ever recall him ever slacking off to the degree that meant his pages were filled with hearts and stars and flowers and suns and atomically inaccurate animals and tiny people in different colored ink. your work was always certainly the more vibrant out of the two (perhaps that could explain your grades and how you understand like... nothing in your lectures, but you decide correlation does not equal causation).

“waste of time,” he says around another mouthful of fries, another one already halfway there to his mouth.

suna is also surprisingly negative at times—but the blue book flipped open to his homework says maybe he’s just a liar though. you squint at it.

“it’s still pretty early but we probably should get out of here soon,” suna says, pulling his phone out from his pocket to check the time and leaning his elbows on the table. “i’ll walk you back. your roomie doesn’t leave the gym until 9—before you ask, yes i’ve been keeping track. it’s not stalking if it’s for my own sake.”—rin is, of course, referring to the long standing rivalry between him and your (very nice, might you add) roommate you don’t really understand but which has cumulated in him deciding he would avoid them as much as humanly possible purely out of spite. (“the only person i like in dorm 302 is you,” he’d told you one time and the throwaway sentence maybe made your heart flutter more than it probably should’ve.)

the bell above the front door jingles behind you as another patron enters. rin glances up at the sound and then returns to his phone with a bored bat of his eyes, probably scrolling through twitter or replying to texts, and picking at his teeth with a toothpick (where did he even get that?).

you try to get back to work (copying) but something in your gut tells you there’s more to his notebook than the messy handwriting and crossed out words that meet the eye.

with suna distracted, you take the chance to carefully slide the book towards you and then, in a single quick swipe, pull it into your lap under the table, already leafing to the back pages—everyone knows that’s where the real secrets are—not sure what to expect. a flash of color makes you pause and you flip back to a page that has the corner folded into a tiny, crisp triangle.

whatever you were thinking suna had stashed in the back of his calculus notebook certainly does not match up with what’s staring you in the face currently. sparkly, gel-inked hearts in neon colors glitter under the fluorescent overheads. in each of them, written in capital letters neater than you thought possible for suna, is your initials, a small plus sign in the middle, and then S.R. (for none other than suna rinatoru) next to it. it instantly makes sense to you. “rin, what the fuck.” one side of the book dangles from your hand, pages fluttering, and you hold it up for him to see, other hand flying to cover your mouth because you don’t know whether to laugh or pretend to be mortified or what.

it’s very amusing to watch how suna goes from a disinterested stare, to widened eyes, to reaching over the heaps of school supplies to attempt to grab the book from you, frantic. you hold it just out of reach. “what are you—” an old lady at a table shushes him when he half-screams. “—give that back,” suna whisper-yells instead in the greatest verbal equivalent of tiny caps you’ve ever heard.

“not a chance.”

he looks like he wants to lunge across the table and pry his prized possession from your meddling hands, but also has half the mind not to make a scene. getting kicked out and then subsequently banned from his favorite diner all on a noise complaint and disorderly conduct accusation was not ideal.

you hum, flip back to your place, and observe the drawings covering the lined pages. you shoot him a venomous smirk over the edge of the cover, one that’s more theatrics than anything, and say with all the satisfaction of someone who knows they have all the power, “oh, this is gold.” he deflates and you feel grateful he doesn’t see right through your facade because oh man are you sweating inside right now. what the fuck? no way suna rintarou is drawing little hearts with both of your initials in it like a lovesick middle schooler. no fucking way. you almost want to tell him that you did the same thing once when the thoughts about him had gotten especially bad (you felt guilty afterwards though, thinking you never had a chance with him, but... now... if he’s doing the same—well, that kind of changes everything).

suna is utterly defeated you think—doesn’t even try to defend himself, just slumps in his seat with a groan. you at least expected a “i can explain!” from him, a last attempt at dignity, not the resigned “i’m never going to live this down, am i?” he mumbles after a few seconds. well, either works for you.

“nope,” you quip, maybe a little too cheerfully because the response you receive is a distressed wail and him banging his head against the table. the old lady shushes him again. you chuckle at that (it feels a little wobbly though because once again, freaking out here) and flip the page. you stop.

this one has similar perfect little hearts drawn all over it, but there are other things. cute, standard shaky drawings of misshapen dogs and volleyballs and other things you never thought suna would take it upon himself to create but all of which make sense are there. but there’s something else. little scribbles in the corners with your last name swapped with his and even him trying out his name with your last one—all of them are scratched out but not so much you can’t read them. a list on the right in a very tiny font that makes you think he was embarrassed even penning the words is titled “date ideas?” (the question mark is in red and the dot is a heart) and has several popular spots around town written down in the local lingo of unofficial names for them.

“listen... please let’s forget about this.” rin’s voice is muffled and he’s still faceplanted. “it’s fine if you don’t... you know... yeah.” if you don’t feel that way, he means. true, the doodles were a pretty good indication of his feelings.

what to do...

well... you take pity on him, let your lips upturn and your eyes soften to reflect the sentiment, and shut the book with a quiet thud. you slide it back across the table from where it came and back to him silently. you give it a resounding pat when suna peeks up at you, expression saying it all—he was so going to get you back for this. you stick your tongue out—acceptance of the challenge. and just like that, you’re friends again—maybe that’s what’s so great about suna.

as you get ready to leave and slowly begin the trek back to the dorm buildings with him, street lamps glimmering a pasty yellow, there’s no awkward tension, no need to ask questions, no verbal wonderings about what ifs between you two. it’s just joking and shoving each other around and challenges to see who can run to the next tree the fastest in the middle of the chilly february night. you know, maybe for now you’ll keep your own thoughts a secret.

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 3 years

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So I looked through a detransition blog just out of curiosity, since it was one you reblogged, but now I’m super... freaked out? I have a top surgery consultation in April but now I have this weird fear that I’m faking it or that I’ll regret it afterwards. I’ve identified as somewhere along non-binary and trans (he/they!) for over a year, and I’ve known I’m not a girl for even longer, but now I’m just so afraid that maybe I don’t know myself at all. Do you have any advice on what this is?

Lee says:

Discussing your feelings with a therapist can sometimes help you untangle the anxiety from everything else. It’s reasonable to have some apprehension about a major surgery that can have a big impact on your life because it is a big change- and like any other surgery, it also has medical risk and can result in complications.

And reading about other people’s feelings about their surgeries can be helpful! I do recommend reading things from people who were happy with the outcome and reading things from people who weren't to get a better perspective on the range of experiences that can exist. Only reading the negative or the positive doesn’t provide a balanced view!

But even if you read other people’s stories, and talk to them about why they feel the way they do about their choices and bodies, nobody else can tell you what you should do for yourself. Even a therapist can’t know for sure if you will regret surgery (or anything else that you choose to do) because nobody can see into the future, see into your heart, and see into mind simultaneously to and determine for certain what it is that you need.

As soon as I came out as non-binary when I was 15, I started saving money for top surgery. I was someone who ran towards top surgery at full tilt and I didn’t give myself any space for doubt about whether it was the right choice for me because I felt it was the only choice I had-- forwards or nothing. I was pretty severely depressed at the time and had a brief hospitalization the month before I turned 18, and I was sort of pinning all my hopes on top surgery reducing my dysphoria and booting out my depression. So I scheduled my consultation as soon as I turned 18 and was legally an adult and could do so without parental permission. I immediately scheduled my surgery for the soonest available date, and had inverted-T incision top surgery about 3 months after I turned 18.

Now I’m 21 years old, and I’m 3 years and 5 months post-op from my top surgery.

In retrospect, top surgery was 110% the right choice for me. If I could do it all over again, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Top surgery really did reduce my dysphoria by a significant amount, and that made it easier for me to cope with my depression and other mental health issues. I was proudly parading around the house shirtless as soon as I was able to stop using post-op compression, before my incisions had even healed into scars.

I don’t have any dysphoria about my chest anymore, especially now that I’ve gotten tattoos to cover my scars. I finally feel like I look like how I always knew I was meant to look.

I don’t post pictures of my chest anymore because I have distinguishing tattoos but I’ve posted a few before/after pictures when I was 3 years post-op and I think things have only gotten better now.

I was lucky to not have any complications; I don’t have any nerve pain, and hypertrophic or keloid scarring, and I didn’t need any revisions. But there are some things that are non-ideal compared to if I had just been born with a typical cis-guy flat chest. My nips are a little wonky in color and shape, and I plan on getting medical tattoos at some point to even the edges out. I also have slightly muted sensation in my chest now, so everything is like slightly number than it was before.

When I was pre-op, I did enjoy having nipple sensation that was pleasurable; even though I had inverted t-incision top surgery which preserved the nipple stalk, I still only have tactile, temperature, and pain sensations in my chest. If you put an ice cube on my nipple and my eyes were closed, I’d know it was cold. If you poked me while I was looking away, I’d still feel it. And if you squeezed me, it would hurt. But somehow it doesn’t feel good anymore like it used to.

I don’t know how much of that loss in erotic sensation is a mental thing and how much is a physical change caused by scar tissue build up around the nerve. But regardless, it is a real loss.

For me, that loss is well worth it. While I might have been physically capable of experiencing erotic nipple/chest sensation before, I rarely actually did have that experience because it made me too dysphoric and I didn’t like to take my shirt off during sex. Now I feel more fully present and comfortable in my own body and it makes me more engaged so I can focus on my partner and on the other feelings I’m having and how I look isn’t something that is detracting from the experience.

In general, top surgery has made my life better in a million ways. I love running shirtless with my college cross country team, I like going swimming at the beach with no shirt, and I like the way I look now when I see myself in a mirror after stepping out of the shower.

When I get dressed in the morning, my day starts off on a neutral note because it’s just me putting on clothes. Sometimes I pause to think about how I can just put on a shirt and feel good about it and move on. Before, I used to be upset every morning because the first thing I’d be reminded of when I woke up was that my chest was there and I didn’t want it to be. I’m Autistic, and binding was Not comfortable for me sensory-wise, so not having to bind was also nice.

I would choose to get top surgery again, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the right choice for each and every person. I am sure it was the right choice for me, and I have no regrets at all, I never want to have breasts again. But someone else might think that not having erotic nipple sensation is a dealbreaker, or they might not be comfortable with scars if they tend to heal with more visible raised scars that are harder to cover with a tattoo like I did mine.

So I can tell you that top surgery has made my life better and I’m glad I got it and I don’t think that there would have been any way for me to be as happy as I am now if I had not gotten it. Top surgery is life saving and life-changing for some people, and I am one of those people. I might be more inclined to tell people that if you think you need surgery you should get it because my surgery went so well and because I’m still identifying as genderqueer, transmasculine, and non-binary, just like I was when I was 15, so my identity is pretty static there.

Some other post-op people may tell you that they regret their surgery, that they wish they hadn’t done it, and they would make a different decision if they could go back in time. They might want to help warn other people to not make the same mistake that they did. Detransitioned folks often (but not always) have a different perspective than folks who persisted in being transgender and that’s okay- it isn’t a better perspective or a worse one, just a different one. But both trans and reidentified people can feel this way, even though it’s usually more common for de-trans folks to regret surgical procedures that it is for trans folks.

I semi-rushed into surgery for both emotional and logistical reasons but I knew it was right for me. But that isn’t the best choice for everyone and if you aren’t 100% sure that it is what you want and need then there’s nothing wrong with having the consultation with the surgeon to learn more and then thinking things over before you schedule a surgery date (or don’t), you don’t need to immediately schedule a surgery date after the consult. Think of it as an interview and as an information gathering session.

Neither of us can tell you what you should do because neither of us are “right” or “wrong” about top surgery. It’s just a different experience and a different perspective. We all have biases based on our own way of seeing things, and that can inform our advice.

If you know what the risks are, and you’ve given it careful thought and can provide an informed consent, then whether you should get surgery is your decision. I won’t tell you “go get it!” or “don’t go get it!” and I don’t think that any blogger should be telling anons what medical procedures to get or not get.

Worrying that you’re faking it, that you don’t know who you are, and worrying about regret is something that can be pretty scary and frustrating, but you don’t need to figure it out on your own, and it’s okay to take a little longer to come to a decision and talk it over with a therapist if you think it’s necessary to help you cope with that anxiety.

But yeah, I believe that ultimately you have to trust your gut feelings on what you know to be right for you.

Top surgery 101 links

Finding a therapist

Side note: While we do our best to avoid reblogs from obvious TERFs/truscum/transphobes/racists/sexists/ableists/etc to avoid exposing people to triggering content by boosting the blog’s visibility, and we do appreciate getting heads up asks about reblogs from a problematic OP, if we reblog a post from someone we do not necessarily endorse all of the content in every post they’ve made, and we don’t necessarily agree with all of the blogger’s opinions either. We reblog a specific post if we think seeing that post might be helpful for some of our followers.

#Lee says #top surgery #detransition #regret #surgery #nipple m #breast m #detrans #trans #nonbinary #Anonymous

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alouispo · 3 years

Text

part two :D

“Is that a flying island?” Techno questions aloud, slowing down to a walking pace as he made his way towards the earth in the sky.

“I think it’s pretty obvious that it is Tech,” Phil deadpanned, straightening his hat and following his friend over the hill.

They both pushed through the leaves and trees, soon enough ending in a much less dense part of a flower forest. Blue eyes scanned the area, shocked at how nice this place looked. Phil remembered seeing something that looked like a flower forest back towards the main area of the SMP, but it didn’t appear as vibrant as it was here. Bits and pieces of that forest were destroyed or wilted away, some parts of it not even having flowers anymore due to them being picked or trampled on.

Was the SMP so much nicer when you got out this far?

“Well, Phil, I think anyone would be skeptical of there being a random piece of land in the sky without any warning,” the piglin retorted, pausing to let Phil catch up, who was currently too encaptivated by the landscape to actually pay attention to where he was going.

Rolling his eyes, Techno grabbed his friend’s sleeve and marched towards the spawn coordinates on his compass, ignoring the protests the older male made at being dragged along.

Soon enough, the two of them reached the top of the hill. IF Phil was being completely honest, it was not what he was expecting at all. He looked around with shock; there was a bunch of people living here! There were so many different buildings -that were all finished, he noted- and there was a huge lake right in the center of all of them.

“Hey Tech, can we go down there?” Phil questioned, trying his best not to freak out. This place looked nearly a million times better than the Dream SMP, and it only fueled his excitement. It reminded him of his hardcore world, which was only more welcoming to the bird hybrid.

“We have to anyways, it seems like spawn coords are right near the center of the lake,” watching as Phil immediately jumped down, chuckling to himself before following right after.

“Techno this place is great! Look at all the flowers!” the hybrid exclaimed, kneeling down to touch the wildlife that appeared so unnaturally for him. “Have you ever seen flowers like this grow near the SMP? They look like they are practically glowing!”

“Nope. We also live in the arctic so it wouldn’t make any sense for them to grow there,” Techno replied nonchalantly, stepping over the flowers in order to not step on them. “Now stop gushing over plants Phil, we have to find who runs this place so we can see what’s going on.”

“Oh you’re one to talk Tech-” he was cut off by the sound of wings beating loudly above them, making them both pull out their weapons and look around.

“Hello!” the pair turned towards the lake, watching as a blur of feathers floated outwards and a man stood before the flowers.

“Heh?” Techno questioned, staring at the newcomer as Phil dropped his sword.

“Welcome to the Origins SMP! I am the Crow Father, protector of these lands, and ambassador of The Circle. What are your-” the Crow Father paused, staring right back at Phil as their eyes met.

The newcomer looked exactly like Phil. Same eyes, same hair, same hat. The only difference was that this man had not been fated to war, one who still had his wings intact. They appeared much brighter in color compared to Phil’s, who had resembled the color of oil but still had all the colors in at the same time. He also adorned a white gown under a familiar-looking robe.

“Phil?” the man in question stared a while longer, grabbing the sword and putting it into his inventory as he stood back near Techno.

“Are you alright Phil?” the anarchist tried again, placing his hand on his shoulder.

He nodded,” I’m alright, don’t worry about it.”

“Well then,” the Crow Father said, brushing himself off as he smiled warily. “I don’t think you are supposed to be here? Am I right?” he asked, a crow of similar color as his wings landed on his hat, tilting its head to the side in at the pair.

“No, if that wasn’t obvious enough by there being two of you,” Techno remarked, putting a hand on his hip in slight annoyance.

“Uh, right. So, uh, mind telling me how you got here, mate?” the Croaw father questioned, putting his hands behind his back politely.

Phil frowned, examining the other. Did he really look like that? It seemed odd to see another version of himself standing right in front of him, behaving almost exactly as he would. He made eye contact with the Crow Father, as he called himself, realizing that he was doing the same thing.

“Well, we got transported here by the God of our SMP cause we broke one of the rules, and now we are here and have to try and get back before we die or something,” the piglin hybrid stated as if it was just another day of the week. He paused. Actually, it was another day of the week, what was he talking about.

“Oh, well that’s fine mate!” and he smiled, which made him feel strange. Phil hadn’t remembered how to smile like that for such a long time, it looked off on his own face. Which technically, wasn’t even his face at all.

“I’ll help you in the best way that I can since after all, it is my job.”

“You sure about that? You don’t seem like the type that would be able to help us with what we need,” Phil turned and punched Techno straight in the arm, glaring at the much taller male in playful annoyance.

“I was just being honest!” the piglin retorted, appearing unfazed by the action.

“Honesty is what is going to make me kill you one day, you whiny bastard. You’re worse than my Cshat,” he replied, narrowing his eyes and turning back to Crow Father, who was watching with great interest.

“Well, it still is my job of course, so I can at least try to help you. That’s what the boss appointed me to at least,” the other Phil said, looking up thoughtfully as he tapped his cheek.

“The boss?” Phil questioned, catching both of their attention.

“Oh yeah, the boss of this place,” the Crow Father said, sweatdropping as the bird on top of his hat started beating his wings aggressively.

“Do you think we could speak to him?” Techno asked, looking at Phil and then back at the protector, who appeared to be forcing a smile on his face as the bird pecked at his hat.

The Crow Father paused, jumping slightly when the crow started squawking incoherent words very loudly before flying away. “You little shit!” he shouted at the runaway bird, plucking the stray feathers out of his hair and dropping them to the ground.

“Sorry about that,” he started, brushing off his gown. “The natural wildlife don’t really like the admin. Not exactly sure why but hey, really nothing we can do about that,” he shrugged.

“Yeah, uh anyways, can you take us to the admin of this place?” Phil questioned, tapping his foot albeit so impatiently. He didn’t really like the Crow Father, as much as it was another version of himself.

He was not jealous of his wings, that was not it. Shut.

“Are you really sure about that?” The Crow Father asks adamantly, looking to his right and back at the pair anxiously.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” Techno asked, adjusting the chains keeping his cape on his shoulders. “It’s the best choice we have anyways unless you know a way to go back to a server where you most likely wouldn’t exist?” he added, crossing his arms and glaring.

“No, no, you’re right,” the other Phil said, resigned. “Come now, follow me, I’ll take you to the pube.”

“The what?”

It was not in fact, a pube, it was a pub. Very interesting pronunciation there.

After climbing up the unnecessarily tall ladder, Phil noticed that on top of the flying island was what the Crow Father had described as the pube. He had said that he was the one that built the place, although he didn’t necessarily own it. Another thing that the Angel thought was strange.

“Here is the pube, place where the admin resides,” the Crow Father said as he walked inside rather loudly, startling what looked like a full enderman. Phil and Tecno followed behind, eyeing the newcomer warily.

“Ranboo!” the other Phil called, making the pair look between the two in shock. This was Ranboo?

“Oh, hey Crow Father! What brings you here…” he trailed off, noticing that there were double of Phil and a really different-looking Technoblade both behind the hero. “Uhh..”

“These two are from a different server, which is why there are two of me and Techno looks really different,” the Crow Father explained nonchalantly.

“Oh, that makes sense. Anyways, what brings them here to the pube?” the other Ranboo said, standing up making Phil do a double-take. This version of Ranboo was even taller than their Ranboo, although it may be because this one didn’t have a massive slouch.

“They’re here to talk to admin to try and get back to their own server,” he replied, scratching his chin nervously.

“Oh.”

The four of them stood in silence as Ranboo looked up towards the ceiling, scratching the top of his head and contemplating something.

“The boss isn’t busy is he?” the Crow Father asked, his wings twitching subtly.

“I don’t think he is. Nothing has really been happening with the locals so he’s most likely doing some paperwork,” Ranboo replied cheerily. “I’ll take you guys to him!” he added, going up towards the ladder to the second.

“Only the regulars are here today, so there won’t be too much problem with you guys talking to the boss today,” he added once they had gotten to the top.

“Thanks, Ranboo!” the Crow Father said, going to knock on the door.

“Wait a minute,” Techno said, staring at the sign on top of the door in horror.

“No way,” Phil added, taking a step back as he paled.

The sign on the top of the door read the words ‘Innit Incorporated’, carved hastily into the wood in messy handwriting. Techno and Phil looked at each other, dread pooling in the bottom of their stomachs as realization dawned upon them.

“Sorry bout that, sometimes he’s talking with people so he doesn’t hear much,” the Crow Father said apologetically.

“Coming, I’m coming!” a very recognizable voice shouted from the inside of the room, making Techno groan as his fears came true.

In a burst of his above-average glory, a very similar-looking but not quite Tommy opened the door, looking irritated as he overlooked the people in the room. He had a bunch of feathers neatly placed in his hair and much brighter eyes than the Tommy they knew.

“What?” he asked, annoyance obvious in his tone of voice.

#tommyinnit #technoblade #philza #crowfather #origins smp #dream smp #origins smp fanfiction #dream smp fanfiction #dsmp au #dream smp au #osmp fanfic #dsmp fanfiction #ranboo

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stitch1830 · 3 years

Text

CHARACTER DESCRIPTION: KANTO

So this is a character description for the character Kanto that @precious-metal-girl and I created for AUs where he is in a loving and committed relationship with Toph Beifong. Part of this is to help me keep track of all of his features and personality traits, and if others are looking to write about Kanto but aren't sure about how to describe him, feel free to pick and choose characteristics that meet your AU needs! This will (hopefully) be a living document where characteristics are added and changed over time. If you are curious about our AUs or want to know about a particular trait/personality, feel free to ask us questions!

......

Born: ~88/89 AG (summer)

Residence: Republic City

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Green

Element: Earthbending/Metalbending

Occupation: Deputy for the Republic City Police Department, Metalbender Division

Nicknames: Hotshot, Dep (short for Deputy), Slick, Botany Boy, Pretty Boy, Metalbrain, Metalhead, Rockhead, K, My Rock

Relationship: Toph Beifong

Background:

Kanto grew up near one of the Fire Nation colonies close to what is Republic City today (part of the reason why his name has FN influence). His father took many different jobs and tried to avoid fighting in the war as long as possible so he could stay with his family, while his mother was a seamstress for the town. Often, he would help his mother sew clothes, and because of that he was pretty crafty and good with his hands. He lost his parents at age 7; old enough to remember them and his childhood, but all the memories are pretty blurry.

What he does remember is that his family was pretty poor, but they always had something to laugh about.

He loved learning new skills with his dad, and had his mom read the same two books they had every single night. And one thing he always remembers is eating together as a family.

His parents died either in an accident for rebelling against a FN rule (maybe the FN wanted to take Kanto away for being an earthbender), or from protecting Kanto in general.

Kanto was always pretty feisty as a boy, pushing people’s buttons and egging people on. It only got worse when his parents died because he pushed buttons out of anger now.

He also had a lot of friends, but after, he didn’t talk to anyone for a while because he ran away. Most of his fighting skills were learned while on the run, he never got any formal training until he went to the metalbending academy (maybe 17 or 18? Toph managed a different part of the academy so she didn’t know him. That or he went to a different academy branch entirely).

One thing he remembers is that he was happiest with his family, so he cherishes the idea of a happy family unit, and he constantly searched for something that made him feel close to that happiness.

Personality:

The first impression people get of Kanto is that he is a no-good, arrogant, bad boy. He acts as if he’s the coolest person in town and always has something sassy to say in response. More than half of the words that come out of Kanto’s mouth are flirtatious and sarcastic, a combination that initially drives Toph Beifong crazy.

But in reality, Kanto is an extremely loyal man who’s rather selfless, putting himself in harm’s way so no one else has to. His initial personality is a front to protect himself so that he doesn’t befriend anyone too much, because he knows what it’s like to love people and lose them. He hated how he felt when he was orphaned and never wanted to feel that way again.

When his facade finally cracks with Toph and she sees the real him, he’s actually… a dork.

He’s got a very goofy personality, he gets excited about little things, and his passions do not necessarily align with his looks and his first impression. When he loves people, he does so with his full heart, but again, he’s hesitant to do so with many… His family are essentially the only ones that see him this way.

Looks:

Kanto is most certainly a hunk. He’s got a similar skin complexion to Toph, thick and wavy (borderline curly) black hair (Toph loves playing with it), broad chest and shoulders (a fit and toned body overall), a mischievous, slightly crooked grin (left corner turns up higher than the right) that makes all the women of RC swoon, a crooked nose from being punched in the face one too many times, and classic earthbender green eyes. He’s also pretty tall, that’s where Lin gets her height from, well over a head taller than Toph And despite being an earthbender, his hands and fingers are actually rather long and nimble. Some popular fanart interpretations of Kanto can be found here and here and here and here and here.

Interests:

Kanto likes flowers, he often brings new ones home (especially when he’s with Toph) so he can teach her about its qualities and so they have a nice and natural floral scent in their home. He’s obsessed with pro bending like Toph, and often will attend matches with her. Astronomy and biology are also interests of his. Toph and Kanto also have a cool rock collection, both are trying to best each other to find the coolest one. Kanto reads science fiction novels to Toph in their downtime and he’ll play the guitar or pipa.

Fears:

Kanto is afraid of bugs, he doesn’t care for large fires that can get out of control, and big animals make him nervous at first contact. When Lin’s in the picture, he freaks out when there are too many sharp corners in one place. He’s always afraid she’s gonna fall and hit her head. Kanto also doesn’t like those rip tides or currents in oceans/large bodies of water.

Some of his deeper level fears include losing his family. He cannot stand the idea of losing Lin or Toph, especially if the reason they are missing or gone is because of him. He’s lost his family before, and he’ll be damned if he loses them again.

Flaws:

A lot of his flaws stem from his stubbornness and confidence. He’s arrogant, overconfident, prideful, and impatient. He knows he’s good at his job and he’s not afraid to talk about his skills and talents, and unless he’s working specifically with Toph, he assumes he’s the best for the job.

He’s flirty, sarcastic, reckless, and a bit of a slob (just his home, he keeps a clean appearance). Kanto’s constantly ragging on coworkers, has comments for days, and it’s rare for him to speak in a serious tone while on the job. Just doesn’t happen.

He’s protective, reckless, a troublemaker, skeptical, and vengeful. When he actually finds love and has a family, he is extremely protective, to the point where if criminals threaten his family, he’s not afraid to take the law into his own hands to eradicate the problem. One of these would be his fatal flaw, maybe vengeful? His vengeful tendency could be from a need to retaliate to protect his family from a threat, and that ultimately may take him down.

His flaws mainly seem to come from his overconfident front that he gives to the world. He doesn’t let too many in, or, he lets people in, but they don’t see the real him. Kanto doesn’t trust people right away, but it’s easy to get along with everyone if you just have this confident and charismatic face on. But his ‘face’ seeped into his actual personality, so there are times when he shouldn’t blurt out the first stupid comment in his head, but he does.

Gaang First Impressions:

Aang: He’s always extremely happy and excited to meet new partners, so he was thrilled to meet Kanto. They definitely don’t see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, but Aang is great at being friends with everyone despite the differences, so there’s no animosity.

Katara: She’s skeptical at first, because Kanto acts like a douche and has a bad boy persona. Katara just doesn’t want to see Toph get hurt, so she interrogates the man a bit (a lot), but even though the things he says concern her, he’s a gentleman to Toph, very attentive to her needs. So, maybe he’s not so bad… Later on, she knows the bad boy look was all a facade and that Kanto is a sweetheart, and she grows to really like Kanto.

Zuko: He gives Kanto a very cold shoulder at first. He’s very protective of Toph because he thinks of her as a little sister. So, he crosses his arms, glares a bit, and Kanto glares back because that’s what he does at first. But then, they start going on double dates, and Zuko and Kanto turn out to have a lot more in common than they realize. They’re buddies now!

Sokka: Sokka’s attitude really depends on ship preference with him, but in most HC’s, he’s Toph’s best friend, so he would also be distant with Kanto. He wouldn’t like how cocky he is, or that he’s super tall and talented at many things… he’s not a fan. However, Toph is always super happy around Kanto, he makes her laugh, and no one is allowed to insult Toph without an ass whooping from both Kanto and Toph, so, he warms up to the guy. He’s been seen buying Kanto a beer after a long day of work as a truce, and he often goes to Kanto if he needs police paper signed and expedited (Kanto does the same with Sokka, it evens out).

Suki: Suki is pretty chill about it all. She’s pretty perceptive about personalities and whatnot, and she can detect a bit of a bad boy mask. So, she treats the introduction casually and is super cordial with Kanto. They never become best friends or anything, but she was one of his first “allies” in the Gaang, and for that he is forever grateful.

Other Facts:

His mannerisms are that he walks with a slow swagger. Often the slowest of the group, he takes his time whenever he walks places. But don’t let that fool you—he can sprint really fast. He leans back in almost all of his chairs, sometimes he leans too far back. Kanto was a notorious manspreader when he would sit down, but since being with Toph, she put a stop to that instantly. When he’s restless, he bounces his leg a lot, and usually only stops if Toph reminds him (usually a hand to his leg to calm him down). Kanto also runs his hand through his hair a ton to either push it off his face, or just on instinct. He fidgets with his hands, too, Toph does as well. Usually, the two will hold hands or play with each other’s fingers to ‘remedy’ their nervous tick. In extremely stressful situations (like an AU where Lin is kidnapped), Kanto usually throws up and doesn’t sleep at all.

Kanto’s voice is a mix of a rural and city accent, once Republic City becomes prominent. He uses slang in his speech often and mainly uses city words (he picked up a lot of city lingo when interacting with criminals and undercover work back in the day). There are a few words and phrases from his childhood that he uses that scream ‘rural kid’ and that is mainly when the distinction in his accent and speech is picked up. His voice is smooth and deep when he casually talks. When he yells, it becomes a bit gravelly and husky sounding. Oddly enough, when he whispers, the same thing happens.

Kanto smells like the earth or something with a forestry scent (cedar comes to mind). He wears cologne, and the scents he usually goes for are ones that smell like earth, wood, or resin. Kanto likes wearing cologne, but he can’t put too much on, otherwise it bothers Toph’s nose, and he typically checks to see which ones Toph likes, and he’ll purchase that cologne again because he knows she likes the smell. He naturally smells a bit like metal and dirt and a bit of smoke (he was a casual smoker before he had Lin). All these scents are not prominent, but by the end of the day, these are the scents that can usually be detected.

Some of his pet peeves include fake apologies, when people kick or shake the chair he is sitting in, any slightly insulting remark toward Toph, close talkers, people that interrupt frequently, and those that correct his grammar.

Kanto canonically only has one daughter, Lin. In this AU, he’s a loving and committed father who emphasizes putting his family first and protecting them. He doted and hovered over Toph while she was pregnant, cried tears of joy when Lin was born, and is very attentive and caring toward Lin. He’s the one that soothes her when she cries out at night, he’ll get up in the morning with her so Toph can sleep in, and when he comes home from work, he smothers her in kisses and gives her raspberries on the belly (affectionate). Even as a baby, Lin was a Daddy’s girl and Kanto spoiled her as much as possible.

In the relatively canon compliant AU, Kanto dies when Lin is about 6 months old. He left for work, had a run-in with a bloodbender (or an accident on the job), and never returned home. On the day of his death, Kanto planned on proposing to Toph, but never got the chance.

Lin knew about her father growing up, but he wasn’t talked about often because it is a touchy subject for Toph (and for most that knew him well). On her 13th birthday, Lin receives the engagement ring on a necklace, along with a handwritten letter from Kanto.

There are many AUs and headcanons related to where he lives, but those are very fluid and change all the time!

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smutandfluffohmy · 4 years

Text

Homework extension

From: Smutandfluffohhmy Pairing: OUAT Peter Pan Professor! X Reader Warnings: Smuttt and overstimulation A/N: I was listening to Yagami Yato’s Hawks pegging audio and 🥵🥵anyone have any pegging requests 👀? This is the long overdue professor smut that I wrote but then deleted it because I hated it so I rewrote it all ✋🏻

University had its ups and downs and your English literature professor was definitely one of the ups. His British accent definitely made everyone swoon over him however the boring way he droned on every single class certainly cancelled out his hot accent.

His shoulders were broad, and he always radiated a sort of boyish charm but God the things you would do to him if you had 20 minutes alone with him. You slightly shook your head trying to erase the thoughts and tried focusing on something else. You couldn’t pry your eyes off him so instead you decided to focus on his tie.

He always wore ties with silly things on them. Sometimes they were just random shapes of different colors, other times they were full superhero comic strips but today it was a black tie with little oragami boats on them.

The lesson dragged on and you wanted nothing more than to crawl back into your warm bed instead of sitting inside a cold classroom. Your eyes shifted from him, to his tie, to the clock and to the book proped open in front of you in a continuous cycle.

“Remember to turn in your assignments today by midnight. See you all next class” Dr.Pan said and with that everyone hurried out of the classroom without a seconds pass. Grunts and whispering filled the once quiet classroom as you huffed making your way towards your car.

This years winter was hard and unforgiving and it was especially worse for you since you were used to more warm temperatures all year round. Hugging yourself tighter you couldn’t wait to be inside your car.

The radio droned on about the weather and an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of your stomach. You were new here ,knew nobody and were all alone if anything happened. Your mind wandered and before you knew it you were pulling up on your drive way.

The house wasn’t necessarily yours but your aunt let you stay there and house sit since she was always busy on business trips and both of your appreciated this temporary agreement .You eyed the houses next to yours and decided it was better now or never to finally introduce yourself to the neighbors. Your aunt didn’t tell you anything about the neighbors only that she has also never met them before.

Parking your car inside the garage you got to work on a gift of sort that would most definitely give you asking rights for a shovel next time you needed it. You got to baking your brownie turning off the heater as the kitchen radiated so much heat you felt like you were burning.Carefully cutting out each brownie you put them on two separate plates and made your way out to the cold once again.

Walking down the drive way you skipped your way to the first neighbors house and was treated with a nice old lady who profusely thanked you for the freshly baked brownies and told you she would drop off your plate as soon as she could.

‘One down one more to go’ You thought to yourself as you made your way to the other house, cursing as snow crept inside of your boot.

Inside the house Peter sighed pouring himself a glass of wine trying to relax from a long day of lecturing.The doorbell rang throughout the house, Peter sighed setting down his cup making his way to the door. You stood there looking up at your English professor. Your English professor who was wearing sweatpants and his button up shirt, half buttoned with a loosen tie.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Peter asked looking at you up and down trying to figure out the answer to his own question.

“Dr.Pan! Sorry I live next door I was just trying to meet my neighbors.” You said shifting the weight of the plate between your hands.

“You’re a little late how long have you’ve been living next door?” Peter said waving you inside.You walked inside grateful for getting out of the freezing weather even for a second. Your toes were freezing as the snow slid down your boot.

“Do you want a drink?” Peter asked you holding up the bottle of wine showing you what he was having. You nodded not wanting to be rude.

“Yes please professor and since the start of the semester” You said nodding at him and continued to look around his house that was filled with different house plants.

“Please call me Peter I'm your neighbor. Well at least outside of class.” He said handing you a glass, you took it afraid of dropping it. “You can take off your jacket at least defrost a bit.” He said looking for any excuse to get you inside. Truth be told you were one of his best students and wanted any excuse to keep you there a bit longer

“Thank you Pro-. Thank you Peter.” You said correcting yourself taking off your layers of wet clothes until you were left in a tank top and wet pants and socks.You continued to look around his house

“Here you go.” Peter said handing you the cup. Smiling gratefully at him you walked towards him not noticing the things he left scattered on the floor.Falling forward you tried to regain your balance but your foot was caught on one of the various things Peter carelessly left scattered around. Waiting for the impact Peter caught you in his arms awkwardly still holding on to the cups your faces mere inches apart.

Both of you looking at the others lips and without a moment of hesitation both of you went in for the kiss. Peter placed the glasses on the counter as he picked you up carrying you off somewhere.

“The things I would do to you.” You mumbled between his pressed lips.

“Show me.” Peter said urging you on waiting to see what you were going to do. Probably a quick fuck and you’d be gone as soon as you came leaving him with the memory to jerk off later. The kiss deepened, Peter’s hands going under your shirt unhooking your bra, running a finger across your nipple. Your hands tugged his pants off of him and taking off your own pants as Peter continued to play with your nipples making you moan against his mouth.

Pushing him to sit down on the edge of the bed you dropped to your knees taking his dick in your hands slowly pumping it. Pre cum already dripping down the shaft.

Your tongue licked it up, the sensation made Peter twitch under your touch. Rubbing up and down softly sucking on his dick but not giving his enough to get off, his fingers gripping the edge of his bed. His dick was pulsing desperately wanting some friction.

“Enough with the teasing.” He said his toes curling. “I should just pick her up and fuck her senseless” Peter thought as his dick continued to twitch under your touch.But before he could do that you got to your feet.

“Get on your back” You said getting up and motioning for him to get on the bed all the way against the headboard. His dick so hard that he was sure that if you made him wait any longer he won't be able to last long.

“Come on let me cum.” He begged not wanting to move. Ignoring his pleas you pointed at the tie he still had on.

“Can I?” You asked pulling his tie from around his neck. Peter simply nodded intrigued as to what exactly you were going to do with it.Grabbing his hands and tying them to the headboard you gave it a good tug.

His hard and aching dick twitched every time you even stroked his hair. Getting ready to place yourself down on his dick Peter was already imagining how good you were going to feel around him.

“I’m so getting fired.” Peter mumbled out as he watched you lower yourself down.‘This is wrong’ He thought to himself, he wanted to get up and walk away from this but he imagined just how good you felt since you walked into class. He desperately urged himself to stop but what line was left to cross? He already kissed you, groped you, hell he was about to be balls deep inside of you

“I can stop if you want. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble.” You said leaning down to bite on his neck, sucking harshly on the delicate skin.

“No no no please.” Peter pleaded between moans cursing himself for not grabbing you and fucking you when he had the chance.

“Please what?” You said into his ear as you blew air on the already sensitive spot you were sucking on his neck, the sensation making chills go down his body making his dick jump. Bucking his hips he was desperate for any sort of friction, any sort of release.

“Please let me cum” He begged trying his best to reach out to you fighting against his tie. Grabbing Peter’s dick you positioned yourself to start sliding down his shaft. Peter letting out a mix of whimpers and moans and you started to bounce up and down his dick.

“You feel so good doctor” You said in a breathy voice as you felt his dick hit deep inside of you with every stroke.

“Fuck. Oh fuck” He cursed already feeling himself unable to hold back any longer.

“What happened to your no cursing rule?” You said making your strokes slower watching as Peter buckled his hips upward trying to meet you halfway. Sliding down slowly keeping your palms pressed against Peter’s hips preventing him from moving.

Peter didn’t last long, coming inside of you leaving him to catch his breathe. His face flushed red embarrassed for cuming so quickly but before he could form an apology you kept going making his dick twitch again.

“Fuck I can’t keep going” He mumbled out but he didn’t want this to end.

“You’re the one that begged to cum.” You said going down to continue leaving hickeys scattered around his neck. The sensation making his dick twitch again, feeling himself get hard again. Moans left his lips, moving up and down slowly giving Peter a chance to get hard again. After all of this he was still going to jack off the second you walked out the door, knowing you were next door made his imagination go crazy.

Bouncing up and down faster Peter moaned and grunted his eyes screwed shut at the feeling of you.

“Don’t cum yet.” You ordered not slowly down, watching Peter’s pained expression watching him come undone under you.

“Please I’m so sensitive I can’t keep going.” He pleaded groaning trying his best not to cum.

“I said not yet.” You said going up and down slower, your fingers going through his hair giving it a light tugged that made a moan leave his mouth.

“Pleaseee” Peter moaned trying to reach for you.

“Okay.” Was all you could say.

Your hand reached for your clit, your two fingers rubbing tight circles around your clit as you kept feeling Peter’s dick hit deep inside of you. Your nails dug into his skin your moans filling the room. Peters face flushed hot ‘I’m so getting fired for this’ he thought to himself.

Reaching your climax you twitched around his dick, letting yourself slump down on his chest. Pushing yourself up, you reached over to untie him. Pushing away your hair that was stuck to your forehead with sweat you got up putting on your clothes.

“I Uu should get going.” You said putting on your pants.

“Wait are you sure? You can sleep over if you want” The words just stumbled out of Peter’s mouth and he felt a bit guilty for wishing you would agree to stay.

You tilted your head to the side looking at him in confusion. For a moment he forgot who you were, who he was, the relationship you two had outside these four walls but when he remembered his face turned a slight shade of pink.

“Right.” He mumbled under his breath as you continued to gather up your things trying to ignore your pounding heart.

Sighing you swallowed harshly as you looked to the windows that were covered in a thick layer of snow. Dreading the short walk back to your home and just how cold it was going to be when you got back, as you reached for the door knob a ring rang through the quiet house.

‘Weather warning’ flashed on your phone.

“Hold on for a second.” Peter said as he walked over to the Tv and turned it on, a blue hue filled his face as he flicked through the channels.

‘Hope nobody was planning on going anywhere anytime soon! The roads and houses are covered in several feet of snow. Make sure to stay in doors and stay bundled up. This has been the weather with O’Warren back to you Jan.’ The weather man said, standing in front of a green screen with an oversized coat and a wide smile. You wanted the earth to eat you up, all you wanted is to go home and pretend you didn’t just sleep with your professor.

Shifting on your feet you reached for the doorknob trying your best to unlock the various locks on the door with your shaky and mitten covered hands.

“You know you’re welcomed to stay.” Peter said from behind you standing in the same place he was. Your heart pounded in your ears un sure what to do next. Scrunching up your nose you crossed your arms over your chest.

“That would be great but I have an assignment due today and my professor is a bit of a hard ass.” You said tugging at the bottom of your jacket.

Peter let out a loud laugh “Well fuck him.” he said with a goofy smile that made your heart jump.

“I did. Still don’t think I’d get an extension.” you shrugged your shoulders wanting desperately to be in a warm bed and at this point it didn’t matter whose. He let out another laugh and reached out to you urging you to stay.

#Peter Pan Fanfiction #peter pan imagine #peter pan #peterpan #peter pan smut #Peter Pan x reader #Peter Pan smut #Peter Pan ouat

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leoneslover · 4 years

Text

𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 ❥

⊳ Now playing: my coming of age movie

TW: mentions of kidnapping (in a joking way dw)

— You sped up your pace, walking alone at three in the morning wasn’t necessarily one of your favorite activities.

You could feel a whole bunch of emotions bottling up in your chest as you made your way through the empty streets of your neighborhood. The anxiety of walking in the dark, the excitement for finally going on the night adventure that you always dreamed of, the fear of your parents finding out that you snuck out to meet up with a completely random stranger, the actual fear of said stranger being nothing like you thought he was. There was just so much going on in your head at the moment that made the whole thing ten times more intense than usual.

But before you could develop this feelings into overthinking mode, you noticed the lanky silhouette of the setter in the distance. You slowed your pace, nervously walking towards him. He was standing against a lamppost, one hand in his pocket and the other absentmindedly scrolling through his phone. As you got closer, you noticed two things. One, he dressed up a little bit for the occasion. And two, the warm light made nice highlights in his silver hair.

“Boo” you jumped into the light after silently walking up to him, making him actually jump in his place.

“Goddamit, don’t do that” he lightly laughed, clutching a hand to his chest.

“If I was a robber or something you’d be damned now” you pointed out, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Yeah, and if I was a kidnapper or something you’d be damned now too I think” he snorted, but quickly looked up to you with a nervous expression. “Sorry that wasn’t funny, it was kinda insensitive”.

“Don’t worry it’s fine, it was kinda funny. Besides, I already told a friend of mine where I’m going, so if someone was to be damned, it’ll be you regardless” you brushed it off with a smile, laughing slightly as you walked a little bit more into the light so he could see you properly, “so anyways, hi”.

“Hi” he smiled, and you’d be lying if you said that your heart didn’t do a flip when he dedicated such a bright smile to you. “Have you thought were are going yet? Or are you one of those ‘let’s see where the path takes us~’ kinda person”.

You laughed, fixing your bag slightly. “Actually, I did thought of something... it’s kinda lame and simple but I couldn’t really think of some-“

“If you planned it then it’s not gonna be lame” he interrupted you with the same smile, sliding his phone into his pocket, “let’s go”.

You looked up at him for a second, slightly taken aback, but looked away quickly and started walking, him following right beside you. For once, you were actually glad for the lack of sunlight, since the dark seemed to hide your flustered expression. Turns out he was even cuter in person and close up, and if you add in his nice personality, great fashion choice (even at three in the morning), and actual funny jokes, it felt like you really hit the jackpot; even tho you barely knew him.

“You haven’t told me where are we going” he broke the silence.

“Oh, right” you tried not to sound startled, feeling your face heat up already. You cleared your throat, “well, I thought we could go to this store to buy some snacks and then go and chill out for a while at this spot I know”.

“Sounds pretty good” he nodded, approving. And you had to bite back a smile.

You walked in silence, side by side on the empty streets. And surprisingly, the silence wasn’t awkward at all. You shook your head, you barely knew him, yet there was something about him that made you feel at ease, like if you knew each other all your life. You frowned, remembering what an old relative of yours told you a while back about the time they met their soulmate. Why were you remembering that now? You shook your head again, and before you noticed, you were now standing outside the small convenience store that you already knew by heart from the amount of times you’ve been there with Tooru before.

“Here we are” you stood outside the door, hesitating to go in yet.

“Mhm” he nodded, giving a few steps forward to the store, but he stopped when he noticed you weren’t following, “you’re not coming?”.

“Oh, yeah, it’s just...” you took a deep breath, knowing that what you were about to say was stupid, “one of my friends works here and I’ve never really been here with anyone except for Toto... I mean, Tooru, and... I don’t know...”

He snorted, making you look at him. The bright light from the inside of the store gave his hair a really nice color. You blinked, weakly attempting to focus, specially since he was talking to you now.

“Well it’s not like you’re gonna introduce me to your parents or something” he walked until he was standing right in front of you, “we’re just gonna grab some snacks and go, c’mon”.

And before you noticed, he was grabbing your wrist and walking towards the store. His touch was soft, way too soft, specially since he was basically dragging you into the small building. The automatic doors slided open, and Suga pushed you both into the store before you had time to snatch your hand out of his.

Your alerted gaze immediately flew to the counter to your right, locking eyes with Makki, who looked up from his phone to see who dared to interrupt his peaceful late night shift. His gaze went from yours to your hands and then back to your eyes, his brows raising slightly and a small smirk curling up his lips. You shot him a menacing glare before snatching your wrist out of Suga’s grip, which he didn’t seem mind. And as you approached the back of the store to grab some drinks, you swore you could see him fighting back his laughter.

You grabbed a couple of drinks and a bunch of snacks, the only thing keeping the silence from being too awkward was the awful music choice in the background, courtesy of your best friend of course. You knew you were probably overreacting, I mean, its just Makki, he had seen you doing worse things than this, way worse than this. And even so, there was nothing wrong with what you were doing; you were just buying snacks with a pretty guy, that’s all. But at the same time, you knew him well. And as you walked towards the counter to pay, you realized that the reason you were so nervous wasn’t because of you and Suga, rather because you didn’t know what shitty awful joke your best friend could do or say at some point.

“Ahh, (y/n), what a pleasant surprise, visiting me at work” he smirked, not bothering to pick your stuff just yet, “are you gonna stay to keep me company?”.

“Shut up Makki” you pushed the snacks his way, wanting nothing more than for this to be over before your friend could embarrass you in any way.

“You’re such an awful friend” he faked being hurt, lazily picking up the bags to scan them, before directing his gaze towards your date, “You should ran away while you can man, she’s the worst I’m telling ya”.

“Makki!” You scolded him, eyeing Suga from the corner of your eye.

The setter, however, seemed to be enjoying the interaction way too much, snorting at Makki’s commentary and nodding.

“Thanks for the advice, I’ll keep it in mind” he carried on the joke, placing his hands in his pockets as Makki smirked approvingly.

“She’s probably making you pay right? That broke bitch” he said, ignoring you completely, “y’know what, since I pity you for having to put up with her, I’ll give you a discount and a little gift, how bout that?”.

“How nice of you man, thanks” He said, handing Makki the money as he threw your stuff in a plastic bag.

“No biggie, oh I’m Hanamaki by the way, but you can call me Makki” he introduced himself, turning around to pick something up from the shelf behind him.

“Sugawara, you can call me Suga” he said, picking up the bag and handing it to you as you stared, watching both boys in shock and slight annoyance.

“You’re from Karasuno right?” Makki asked, shuffling with some stuff from the shelf, adding without waiting for a response, “man your team is pretty good I’ll give you that, I thought we were gonna absolutely demolish you but no. Hehe, I’ve never seen Oikawa so pissed, it was so fucking funny, right (y/n)?”.

You opened your mouth to respond, finally giving you the chance to cut him off. But before anything could come out of your mouth, Makki turned back around, handing Suga a bunch of condoms of different sizes. Your eyes widened as you stared at your friend in utter shock.

“Here, I don’t know what size are you, and I don’t wanna know either, as well as I don’t want this bitch crying in a few weeks so” he brushed it off with a smirk, clearly enjoying himself.

Suga snorted, finding the situation rather amusing. Even tho you could feel yourself growing embarrassed at your friend’s actions.

“Thanks man, i appreciate it” the setter tried to hold back his laughter, grabbing the condoms and throwing them in the plastic bag that you were holding.

“Oh it’s nothing” your friend leaned back to sit on a chair behind him, “well you better get going, I don’t want to keep you from your awesome night so go, shoo”. He gestured you both to the doors.

“Fine fine, nice to meet you Makki” Suga grabbed you softly by the wrist again, guiding you to the exit of the shop.

“Nice to meet you too man, see ya” Makki waved from his seat, giggling to himself as Suga pushed you out of the shop.

It wasn’t until you were at the corner of the street that you finally realized what just happened and regained the ability to talk. You punched the setter lightly on his side, clearly annoyed.

“Why did you do that!?” You silently screamed, aware that it was late at night and you were on the streets, “You should have cut him off, or tell him to fuck off. Oh my god he’s such an idiot I’m gonna fucking kill him”.

Suga, however, finally stopped holding back his laughter. You turned to look at him, laughing his ass off at your reaction while you stared, annoyed. You could feel the corners of your mouth twitching, wanting to laugh as well, but you weren’t gonna give in that easy, it didn’t matter how contagious the setter’s laugh was, or how cute he looked gripping at his tummy to try to get a hold of himself as he absolutely lose it in the middle of the night. You were still annoyed at your friend, even tho he was nice enough to give you a discount at least.

“I- I’m sorry” Suga finally spoke, breathing heavily and still giggling to himself, “but it was too funny... your reaction”, another fit of laughter interrupted him.

“Whatever, let’s keep going in getting hungry” you brushed it off, smiling to yourself as you turned around, not waiting for him to catch up as you made your way through the night, thanking the poor lightning again for hiding your smile.

Soon enough you reached your destination. In a park not too far from your house, there was an average bridge that crossed over a small pond, but beneath it, there was a perfect dry spot right in between the bridge and the pond. Like a tiny coast that always remained dry and that both you and your friends kept relatively clean since Iwa found it a few years back.

“Nice” Suga commented as you sat down, throwing your bag next to you, “when did you find this?”.

“Iwa-chan found it a while back, when he was a kid I think” you commented, grabbing a drink from the plastic bag and opening it, “and Tooru brought me here once last year, he told he not to tell anyone and to use it wisely or sum, but I never really had anyone to bring here so I thought it was a little useless, well, until now”.

You laughed lightly, taking a sip from the drink. You didn’t miss how Suga pressed his mouth in a thin line at the mention of your best friend.

“You and Oikawa are pretty close, aren’t you?” He questioned, opening a bag of chips without looking at you.

“Well, yeah” you frowned lightly, “we’ve been friends for a while, and we’re almost neighbors so I’ve known him since, forever kinda”.

Suga nodded, offering you the bag to grab some snacks. A comfortable silence fell in between you two, and a tiny voice whispering the word soulmate came back in your mind, but once again you pushed it away, focusing on the moment. You put your drink down, grabbing the plastic bag and rummaging through it.

“Ugh, I told him to stop giving me these, they’re bad for the environment” You complained, gesturing the bag.

“Yeah, that’s why I always carry my stuff in my hands, or bring a tote bag or something” Suga commented, giving another sip to his drink.

“Man, tote bags are the fucking best” you said, but suddendly you fell silent. Your hands made contact with the bunch of condoms that your friend gave to you earlier, and a wave of embarrassment washed over you from head to toe again.

“Are you alright?” The setter noticed, a worried frown taking over his features.

“Yeah yeah, it’s nothing” you brushed it off, feeling the heat rise up in your face.

The rest of the night passed almost in a rush. Talking about everything and nothing at the same time, discussing about which was the best meme of the generation and later on debating about the afterlife. You found out that he enjoyed scaring his little brother with the horror movies he was obsessed with at the moment, even though it earned him a rant from his mom later on, he swore it was worth it. He found out that you had a weird addiction with Sanrio characters since you were a kid. You also found out that he had a very high tolerance to spicy food, specially since half of the snacks he picked up were spicy as hell.

And by the time you finished off your food and got out from beneath the bridge, you realized it was already around 6am, and the sun was rising up in the distance. Sharing a blanket that you brought with you to keep you from the cold blow of the early morning, you stood on top of the bridge, watching the sunrise in a complete comfortable silence, occasionally interrupted by a bird chirping in the background.

Your eyelids were getting heavier from the all nighter, and you couldn’t help but rest your head on his shoulder, sighing as the golden light from the early sunlight bathed the scene with its warm tone. He smiled to himself, the tingling in his stomach growing stronger as he rested his head on top of yours, the sweet scent of your hair filling up his nostrils. He blushed lightly, thanking that you couldn’t really see him before he spoke.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you home”.

And so he did. You walked side by side through the middle of the empty road, even though he insisted on walking on the sidewalk, he gave in since you said it ‘added to the experience’.

Your hands brushed against each other as you walked, but none of you dared to grab the other, the fact that you were sharing a blanket had both of you flustered enough already. And when you leaned your head into his shoulder again as you pointed at little funfacts about your neighbourhood, he had to physically restrain himself from kissing you right there and then.

“That’s Tooru’s house, and this is my house” you said sleepily, a yawn cutting you off.

“I like your house, it looks nice” he commented. You were both standing outside, none wanting to say goodbye just yet.

“I’ll offer you to stay and take a nap so you don’t have to walk back home just yet, but I don’t think my parents would like that too much” you laughed lightly and he snorted.

“Yeah, maybe one day...” he trailed off, sighing before sliding off the blanket from his shoulder, “well I better get going then, before my parents find out that I’m not home yet”.

“Yeah...” you trailed off, thinking for a second.

You slid the blanket off your shoulders as well, before placing it on his. He stared at you in mild shock, before you got on your tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks for helping me build up my coming of age movie” you laughed lightly before pulling away and almost run to your front door, turning around to wave him off before getting into your house.

He waved back, smiling to himself. It was the second time you left him standing there, just blushing.

❥ Funfact!: When he got back home, Suga was so tired that he fell asleep wrapped up in (y/n)’s blanket without realizing.

Sugawara Kōshi x reader(fem!)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A/n: Hiya there! Just wanted to let u know that I made a playlist for this smau that u can find here in case you’re interested!

❥ masterlist

-> taglist (closed!): @ratatostada @elianetsantana @broccoliandwheeze @bethbat @mariachiii @flrtykawas @bbyouamazin @depressed-garbitch @anejuuuuoy @angrylittleriri @shizukusimp @nataliahaslosthershit @maramalademadara @hoekyu69 @sunflowerirl @imtheseventhchicken @cremeandstrawberries @koutaropearl @heavenini @lovinnoya @aristatrois @melodynee @ohbois-biggay-bnha @woah-there-cowboy-or-cowgirl @memes-and-money @pagetcult @mermaidcookiemagic @murdereddaydreams @sunnysidekisses @h0rny-m3ss @missalienqueen @crazyrichashea @purple-passionfruit @darlingkuroo @aizawaslovebot @london-quynh @rkives-keiji @crybabbicus @sinistersith @navymacaroons (bold if I couldn’t tag you, please check your settings!)

#[💌]— selfless!#sugawara smau

135 notes · View notes

drabbles-of-writing · 4 years

Text

Splitting You in Two

This is part of my Four Years AU

AO3

Masterpost

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sharing a curse had its ups and downs.

On the upside, the Owl Beast was no more. And less elixir was needed to combat it now.

On the downside, the Owl Beast was never completely gone. Half-a-beast is what Eda called them, though Luz claimed they looked more like harpies.

Instead of turning into Beasts, Eda and Lilith were plagued with half-transformations, leaving their minds half-conscious.

They could switch, it seemed, between their states of mind. Sometimes they were more sentient, other times they were more beastly. Due to the curse altering their state, it was imperative that they remained calm.

If calm enough, the curse would even eventually settle down on it’s own. Of course, they still took an elixir after the fact, just in case.

Most of this was determined after Eda’s first two transformations with the shared curse. They had gone surprisingly well, since both Luz and King were used to this by now. Aside from a minor amount of damage to the edge of the marketplace, they got off pretty clean.

Eyes, however, had begun to drift towards Lilith.

A first transformation was never meant to go well.

Lilith was in the backyard with Amity, showing her how to make illusions like plants or objects seem natural. Luz was sitting crossed-legged in the grass and leaning against the house, watching Amity with rapt interest.

“Keeping an illusion still is simple enough,” Lilith said, almost drawing a spell circle in the air on impulse. “But making it look natural in it’s environments is easier said than done.”

“Wouldn’t that help confuse people if it looked unnatural?” Luz called over.

“Yes, but that’s not the point.” Lilith said calmly, sparing the human a mildly annoyed glance. “Illusions are not only for ambushes and pranks, contrary to what the twins would have you believe.”

Amity snickered, and Lilith’s mouth curved slightly upwards.

“Create an illusion of something simple,” Lilith instructed. “Like a flower or leaf.”

Amity drew a circle in the air and created a black feather, no longer than a finger. She held it in the palm of her head, showing it to Lilith.

“Oooh,” Luz grinned, despite this being rather easy magic.

Lilith raised a brow as Amity ducked her head shyly and muttered under her breath.

“Now,” The witch continued on. “Movement is a very delicate thing.” She said. “Making something life-like is a difficult task, which is why we’re focusing on smaller objects like these. It’s imperative to know the perceived weight of your object and to know what your surroundings feel and look like.”

She glanced to Luz, and deciding to make the most of the situation, gestured for her to stand up.

Luz was surprised but obediently stood, fiddling her hands together.

“Do you have a wind glyph on you?” Lilith questioned.

“Uh,” Luz patted herself down before remembering that was probably a bad idea and felt around much more cautiously.

She eventually pulled out a wind glyph from her cloaks inside pockets, showing it off proudly.

“Good, I want you to get it ready.” Lilith nodded and turned back to Amity.

“When the wind from Luz’s glyph reaches the feather, I want you to move it how you think a real feather would move.” She said. “Be sure to judge the force of the wind and to remember how the feather is shaped.”

“Got it,” Amity nodded, holding the feather higher and focusing on it.

“Luz?” Lilith glanced at the human. “Would you do the honors?”

Luz nodded and held up her glyph, aiming it right towards Amity’s outstretched hand. She activated the glyph and let it go, watching as it disintegrated into the wind and flew towards the green-haired witch.

Once the wind breezed by, the feather rose into the air. Amity was laser-focused on the illusion, making it tilt and turn as it fluttered off, resembling a kayak in the air.

She continued to focus on it until it lay peacefully on the grass, a few meters away from them.

“Not bad,” Lilith praised with a nod. “Perhaps I should’ve started with something harder for you.” She lightly teased.

Amity lit up, her shoulders straightening. Until she forgot to focus on the feather and it poofed out of existence.

“However, with that in mind, the feather was a bit too buoyant.” Lilith continued, holding her hands together. “It looked more like a boat. Feathers usually flip and flutter in the air. Granted, Luz’s wind was a bit too light to show most natural movements.”

“Oh, do you want me to make it stronger next time?” Luz asked, looking at Amity instead of Lilith.

“I would prefer it,” Lilith said, her voice slightly strained.

“Just tell me yes or no, Lilith.” Luz muttered, digging in her pockets again.

Lilith frowned and narrowed her eyes at the human for a moment before decidedly ignoring it. Amity shuffled her feet and cleared her throat awkwardly. She opened her mouth to say something before slowly shutting it again, her eyes drawn to Lilith’s hands.

“Now, while Luz is searching for her glyph, I want you to try something a little heavier.” Lilith continued, turning back to her apprentice. “Perhaps a pencil rolling on the ground, or a sweater.” She said, raising a hand and gesturing with it.

“Of course, that depends on how strong the wind is, so let’s just try with something like a large leaf or…” Lilith paused.

The witch had suddenly gone still, staring at her mentor, face whiter than a sheet and pupils slitted so thin they were like a pen line.

“Amity?” Lilith said, brow creasing in worry.

She followed the witch’s gaze, which wasn’t necessarily on her, but rather her hand.

Her left hand, which she had been gesturing with, was suddenly gnarled and inflamed. Her nails are grown to claws and her skin had hardened into a scale-like texture.

“Luz!” Amity cried, stepping back. “Luz, she’s--it’s the--”

Luz jerked her head up, whirling back to the two. She saw Lilith staring in shock at her hand and in a flash, leapt to her feet.

“Amity, get back!” Luz warned, pulling out a fire glyph she had found in her search for a wind glyph.

Lilith hadn’t moved, transfixed at her hand. More scales popped up and her hand grew in size, feathers sprouting at her wrist and growing along her arm. She raised her other hand and noticed it was beginning to do the same.

She was thinking so much and nothing at all, a blend she despised but couldn’t stop.

“Lilith!”

She jerked her head up. Amity had stepped back, closer to Luz, but not close enough. Her eyes were wide and terrified, her ears pressed back.

Lilith had seen this position many times before, and that remembrance sent a spike of pain through her chest.

“Amity,” Lilith breathed, her voice raspy as feathers suddenly sprung up around her arms. “I’m-I’m okay,” She said quickly, reaching out before she sharply pulled back, remembering what her hand looked like.

“We need to go get Eda,” Luz said, grabbing Amity’s shoulder and pulling her gaze away. “Lilith, stay right where you are!”

“You know as well as I that once I am cursed I will have no say in the--”

Lilith’s retort was cut off as there was a loud rip and she snarled, her knees buckling beneath her.

A single wing erupted from her back, soaked and mangled with black feathers that stretched far, far above her head.

Amity jerked back, covering her mouth with her hand as she gasped. Luz turned to her, taking in her horrified look. A part of her would wonder if that’s how she looked during Eda’s transformations.

“We gotta go,” She said, turning Amity away from the sight. “Come on.”

Lilith’s transformation was increasing tenfold, and Luz could tell by her screams of anguish and the sound of flesh and bone ripping and remending behind her.

Luz grabbed Amity’s wrist and ran to the back door, throwing it open. She looked back for just a moment to usher Amity inside, and in those moments she swore she’d never been so scared for a woman like Lilith.

A second wing had grown from her back, were wet and limp. They hung at her sides like shades, and were shaped just like a ravens. She could see a similar jet-black tail poking out of her dress, also wet and tangled. Her hands were enlarged and scaled, with nails like claws. Her feet were worse, and had truly become massive talons. She was sure her legs were no different.

Feathers could be seen coming out of her sleeves and around her neck, sticking up at odd angles. Her ears had elongated, not to the extent of the owl beast, but long enough, with tufts of fur in them.

When Lilith looked up towards them, her eyes were jet black, and her pupils were the color of her eyes.

Luz grabbed Amity’s arm, about to yank the two of them inside the Owl House.

The second Luz touched Amity, and Luz swore it was the millisecond, Lilith’s lips curled back into a growl, exposing dagger-like fangs far too big for her mouth.

Faster than Luz thought possible for her, Lilith lunged towards them, her wings raised over her head and talons extended.

Luz yelped and shoved Amity through the door before grabbing and slamming it shut, wincing as she heard, and felt, Lilith ram her body against the wooden door, hissing and snarling as she clawed at it.

“E-Eda was...wasn’t like this...” Amity choked, holding her hands close and stepping away from the door, shaking.

“She was, you just weren’t here.” Luz shook her head, locking the back door and slipping through the kitchen. “The curse switches between a feral or mostly-normal state. Lilith must be too freaked out right now.”

Amity showed no sign of having heard her, only staring in silence at the closed back door.

Luz was about to try and comfort Amity when she paused. She waited and listened.

Not a sound.

Lilith had stopped attacking the door.

The realization chilled Luz to the bone. She took a step back and withdrew an ice glyph, nervously looking around.

“Amity, come h--”

The large kitchen window suddenly smashed to bits, sending glass and random kitchen items falling off the counter and scattering on the floor. Luz leapt forward and grabbed Amity, tugging the both of them down as she covered their heads with her cloak.

Lilith snarled and scrambled up, glass digging into her shoulders and still-wet wings. She dug her claws into the counter and pulled herself up, hissing as her eyes darted about the room.

Luz sprung up and threw her ice glyph, leading it to shoot out towards the cursed witch.

Lilith ducked and the spike went out the broken window. Lilith howled and grabbed the spike, climbing onto it with a shriek and running at the girls.

Luz rolled to the side and so did Amity. Luz stumbled to her feet and searched for another glyph, looking up just in time to see a claw swiping at her.

She jerked back, but Lilith’s claws grazed her face, and Luz quickly felt blood well up around her left eye and blurr her vision.

Lilith pulled back for a moment as Luz stumbled into the kitchen island and slumped to the ground, her breathing rapid as she raised a hand to her bloody eye.

The witch opened her mouth in a roar before a blast of magenta fire struck one of her wings.

She shrieked and flailed about, the dampness of her wings stopping it from catching ablaze as she spun around.

Amity was standing with fire hovering over her hand. She looked furious for a brief moment before terror quickly came back at the realization Lilith was now focused on her.

She attempted to throw another ball of fire at her as she stumbled back. Lilith snarled and lunged for her, her talons slamming into Amity’s shoulders and chest as the girl hit the wall and slumped to the ground, smaller than a mouse in the face of the beast.

Lilith’s wings arched over her head and her maw opened wide, flashing fangs that could split bones in half without a second thought. Amity winced and could only squeeze her eyes shut, turning her head away as Lilith’s claws dug into her flesh, surely creating scars.

Lilith lowered her head till it was inches away from Amity, unaware of the frantic footsteps and slamming of doors as someone ran down the stairs towards the kitchen, where Luz was frantically trying to grab at a plant glyph that had fallen out of her pocket.

She sniffed the girls hair, pausing and making a face that could almost be described as a frown. She clicked and rumbled, her jaw slowly shutting as Amity peeked open an eye.

Lilith tilted her head, eyes narrowed.

“Amity?” She said, her voice husky and growly, but clearly confused, and if Amity didn’t know any better...scared.

“Get off her!”

There was a flash of green, and a massive vine sprung out and wrapped around Lilith’s throat, tearing her off of Amity and sending her crashing to the floor.

Instead of Luz holding the other end of the vine, Amity whirred around to instead see Eda standing in the doorway, gripping the vine for dear life as Lilith thrashed and kicked about on the floor, with King standing behind her and clutching a golden bottle.

Lilith got right back to her feet, hissing and pulling against the vine with a roar. Eda yanked her sister closer, getting ready to take a bottle of elixir from King, who was holding it fearfully.

Luz wiped at the blood over her eye and rushed to Amity’s side. The girl was staring off into nothing, seeming to be in a state of shock.

“Amity? Amity!” Luz waved her hands in front of Amity’s face and shook her shoulder frantically.

Amity perked up then, staring at Luz in surprise, like she had forgotten where she was. Her gaze instantly went to the blood trickling into the human’s eye.

“Luz, you--”

Amity reached for Luz, but they were both startled by a blood-curdling shriek, and both turned back to the fight going on just a few meters away.

Lilith was beating her wings, though they still couldn’t lift her off the ground. She tugged and pulled at the restraint, snapping her jaws. Eda barely dodged as she grabbed the elixir from King, hissing right back at the half-a-beast.

Faint scales were popping up on Eda’s hands, plus feathers on her arms. Luz figured that if there was a reason to worry of Eda transforming at this moment, Eda would’ve told them.

Granted, this entire situation was probably a cause for a concern or two.

Lilith stepped back, her talons clacking against the tile and making a fragile one crack. Luz grabbed Amity and hoisted her to her feet, pulling the two of them back. She held Amity close to her protectively, never taking her non-bloody eye off the witch.

Lilith opened her mouth in another angry shriek, her wings raised high above her head and brushing the ceiling. Eda took her chance and sharply tugged Lilith forward, shoving the open bottle of elixir into Lilith’s mouth.

About half the bottle made its way into her throat before she spat it out, growling and nearly snapping off Eda’s ears for her troubles.

In moments, however, she began to calm.

Lilith’s wings shrunk, and the gnarly scales and size of her hands and feet began to grow fainter and fainter. Her legs gave out from under her, and Lilith tumbled to the floor in a heap.

Her wings were still visible, just far smaller now, and many of her feathers and glimpses of scales could be seen. But when she opened her eyes with a gasp, only one of her eyes were an inky black, the turquoise one completely normal.

A wave of relief swept through the room, and Eda finally relaxed, looking almost ready to fall herself. Luz slowly released Amity, letting the girl stand beside her. She held her sleeve to her eye again and glanced at the girl, who had her hands wringing together close to her chest, looking more anxious than the day before a test.

“Edalyn?” Lilith mumbled, her voice hoarse as she coughed.

She looked down at the bottle of elixir and recoiled, seeing her reflection in the glass. She lifted a hand to her face, feeling around her jet black eye.

King waddled over, brushing by Eda as he took the elixir and held it up to Lilith, out of everyone, giving her a sympathetic look.

Lilith swallowed and mumbled a thanks before drinking the rest of the elixir, shuttering and cringing as the rest of her transformation vanished back into her body.

“You alright?” Eda asked gruffly.

“I...I believe so.” Lilith nodded, still holding the elixir as she stared at the ground. “Is...is this...normal?”

“Wish it wasn’t,” Eda sighed, shaking her head, looking so much older than she already was. “You should’ve seen me when I had the whole curse on my back.”

Lilith’s flinch didn’t go unnoticed, but nobody mentioned it.

Eda’s gaze went to the girls then, and she sprung up the second she saw the blood Luz was trying to hide. She rushed around Lilith, taking Luz’s hand and pulling it away from her eye.

“Is it bad?” Luz asked quietly, looking up at Eda with wide eyes as she wiped away as much blood she could.

“...no,” Eda breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s a bit deep, but you’ll be fine. It just got above your eye, you’ll see.”

Lilith looked back around, shame and horror evident as King stood by the witch, shuffling his feet. She caught sight of Amity’s trembling state and began to sit up, but Eda beat her to it.

“Kid, hey,” Eda said softly, and Amity finally looked up at her. “Is anything broken?”

Amity swallowed and shook her head, looking like a small child after they’d gotten in trouble. She crossed her arms, like she was trying to hide the claw marks dug into her body and through her shirt.

Eda sighed and pulled her arms away right after, wincing at the sight.

“It doesn’t hurt that much,” Amity mumbled, avoiding her gaze.

“Amity,” Lilith breathed, shakily getting to her feet, using a nearby table to help herself up. “Amity, great Titan are you--” “She’ll live, Lilith.” Eda growled, not even sparing a look back.

Lilith slowly turned away, her eyes downcast as she stared at the ground, more specifically, at where her talon had cracked the tile.

“C’mon, let’s see if we can call that healer friend of yours. I’d rather try to avoid risking a hospital visit.” Eda sighed, gently placing an arm on Amity’s back.

Amity nodded numbly, letting Eda guide her past Lilith, who still refused to look up, and out of the kitchen.

Eda glanced at Lilith, and for a brief moment, her anger subsided, and it was replaced with dull sorrow.

She sighed and continued on without a word.

King still stood where he was as Eda sat Amity on the couch, grabbing the few healing glyphs she had as Luz called Viney on Amity’s scroll. They fell into a quiet rhythm, trying to ease Amity’s pain before the shock wore off. Luz didn’t even start to worry about her own until Eda instructed her to do so.

King glanced towards Lilith, who was now slumped in a seat at the kitchen table. He fidgeted his claws for a moment before climbing onto one of the chairs and then onto the table, hesitantly walking over until he flopped down by Lilith’s head, which was buried in her arms.

“It’s not so bad,” King said, and Lilith peeked an eye out from behind her hair. “I mean, Eda used to eat any random animal she found in the woods. I’m pretty sure she actually made a small species of bird go extinct in this area.”

Lilith didn’t seem to lighten at all. She moved her arms to look at one of her hands, and King sucked in a breath.

Her fingers were still coated in blood, most of which had to be Amity’s.

“Do you…” King twitched his tail nervously. “Want a hand towel?”

Lilith nodded, never taking her eyes off her hand.

King walked across the table and leapt onto the kitchen island and then to the counter. He picked up a towel that had fallen into the sink and dampened it underneath the faucet.

He carefully stepped around the broken glass, ignoring the smashed window, and jumped back over to the table, holding out the towel.

Lilith looked up then. She stared blankly at the towel for a few moments before taking it from King and wiping it over her hands.

King sat in front of her, lightly tapping his claws on the table, unsure of what to do. He shyly lay a paw on Lilith’s arm, wrapping his tail around himself.

Lilith paused and glanced at King, offering him a small forced smile before it fell again.

“I messed up again, didn’t I?”

King looked back through the kitchen door. Luz was sitting on the floor by Amity, holding paper towels to her eye as she talked to her on occasion before going back to talking on her scroll, presumably to Viney. Eda was still focused on healing the worst of Amity’s marks, her eyes glazed and not at all there.

“I mean, Eda did stuff like this before. I don’t think we can blame you for this one.” He said simply.

Lilith deflated, letting the towel fall back to the table as she hunched her shoulders.

“But, uh, I mean, the curse is different now.” King said quickly. “Once you get the hang of it, then you’ll be perfectly fine. Remember Eda’s last transformation? She was barely any different.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Lilith mumbled. “Edal...she went through decades of this,” She said quietly, curling her hands close to herself. “And now she had to see it from me.”

“She managed,” King shrugged. “I mean, now it’s better for her to deal with.”

“You…” Lilith turned to King before shaking her head. “You have a strange sense of grudges, you know that? You’re always focused on only the present, unless it’s something extremely personal that happened to only you.”

“Amity crushed my cupcake and that is unforgivable.” King huffed, crossing his arms. “But...yeah. I find it easier to focus on the now than the past.” He admitted, appearing to space out for a moment.

“And that’s why you never learn,” Lilith sighed.

“I said I prefer to focus on the present, that doesn’t mean I’m ignoring what happened.” King grumbled, narrowing his eyes. “Last I checked, I’m not the one who has the whole house still mad at her.”

Lilith looked away, holding her chin in her hand as she muttered, but quieted down pretty quickly.

King sat up and fumbled with his tail for a moment, continuously glancing back in the living room, where Amity was now laying back on the couch with Luz happily chatting to her without a care in the world.

His gaze went back to Lilith, who, in stark contrast to the lit living room, was sulking in the dark kitchen, the only light coming through the broken window, only reaching halfway across the table.

Then he finally noticed her back.

“Your bleeding!” King gasped, standing bolt upright.

“Oh, am I?” Lilith mumbled, raising her head and trying to turn back.

The glass that had stuck into her wings from crashing through the window had transferred to her back. Chunks of glass were sticking out, somehow making her black dress even darker as it soaked her upper back and shoulders.

“Eda, Eda!” King called, stumbling and falling off the table before springing right back up. “Lilith’s covered in glass!”

“I’m fine, King,” Lilith hissed, a bit frantic as she tried to reach for him. “I’ve had worse than a bit of…”

Lilith trailed off, spotting two red heels in the doorway. She slowly looked up, facing Eda watching her.

“...I’m okay,” Lilith said, slowly straightening up in her chair, obviously trying to hide a wince. “King’s just being anxious.” She said with a wave of her hand.

Eda huffed, storming over and grabbing Lilith’s shoulder, sharply turning her to get a look at her back, where King was fearfully pointing.

She looked over the injury for only a few moments before releasing her sister and dragging a hand down her face, exasperated.

“Turn around in your chair and I’ll get them out.” Eda sighed. “We’ve got a few spare healing glyphs somewhere, or I can make a few. Is there glass anywhere else?”

Lilith blinked up at her sister, too stunned for words. She shook her head, never taking her eyes off her.

“Just scrapes,” Lilith said quietly. “You don’t have to--”

“You think you can remove glass from your own back?” Eda raised a brow, crossing her arms.

“...I can manage.” Lilith mumbled.

“I can help!” King offered, raising a paw.

“Don’t ask King for help, he’s clumsier than Luz.” Eda said sternly, much to the demon's annoyance.

“Look, I know you don’t want to help me, and I know you’re worried about those two,” Lilith said, keeping her voice from snapping as she gestured towards the living room, where Luz and Amity were quietly talking.

“So please, spare me your pity.” Lilith said, crossing her arms on the table and laying her head on them, turning her head away.

Barely a few seconds later, there was a sudden pain in her back.

Lilith yelped and jerked up, feeling something slide out with a sting. She whirled around, seeing that Eda, with her bare hands, had pulled out a large chunk of glass from between her shoulder blades, revealing it was covered in blood.

“You know,” Eda said, placing the shard on the table in front of Lilith with more force than necessary. “For someone who managed to become the leader of the most powerful coven in the Isles, you’re the most stubborn, idiotic person I know.” She growled.

“You’re no treat yourself,” Lilith grumbled back.

“Nope, no, shut up, shut it.” Eda raised a finger. “This isn’t about one-upping each other. You’re so stubborn that you’d rather bleed out than admit that, for once in your life, you had no control over a situation.”

“I’m not going to die, Edalyn.” Lilith muttered.

“Yes, you’ll be fine, but you know as well as I that if you were that hurt, you still wouldn’t let me at least try to be nice to you.” Eda growled. “Face it, Lily, things are different now. And you don’t have a say in it anymore.”

Lilith gritted her teeth and curled her lip, flashing sharp rows of fangs. She gave a low growl, and Eda reciprocated, revealing her own fangs, her golden tooth noticeably longer than the others, as she gave a deeper growl.

The two stayed in a stare-off for a few seconds, causing King to fearfully hop off the chair, instead hiding underneath it.

That’s when the front door opened.

“Viney!” Luz’s voice drifted into the kitchen. “How did you--”

“I had Puddles fly me,” Viney replied, and you could faintly hear the sounds of cooing outside. “Amity, c’mere, let me see how much you guys managed to patch up.”

Lilith’s growling fell right then, Eda’s following a moment after. She turned her head downwards, her ears pressing back.

“You should go check on them,” She said softly.

“Yeah, I should.” Eda agreed, taking a step back as her eyes narrowed.

She continued to stare at Lilith for a moment longer, and her sister didn’t look up. King crawled out from under the chair, looking up at her with his tail hanging underneath him.

Eda opened her mouth to say something before slowly shutting it again, thinking.

“Tell them I’m sorry,”

Eda almost didn’t hear what Lilith said, her voice was quieter than a whisper. Eda blinked and looked her sister up and down.

“Tell them yourself.” She said instead.

She backed up further, the light coming through the kitchen entryway bathing her as she continued watching Lilith, who continued to sit at the dark table as she turned away.

With that, Eda walked out of the kitchen without another word.

King watched the doorway for a few moments, tuning out the words of the others before climbing back up onto the table by Lilith. He rested his head on her arm, closing his eyes as she used her other hand to stroke his back.

Her eyes stayed transfixed on the glass shard sitting in front of her, the blood already starting to dry on the wooden table.

In the stretching shadows, the shards in her back almost looked like spikes.

130 notes · View notes

plaidbooks · 3 years

Text

Dating Pains

A/N: So! I was looking through some old files and found this Sonny Carisi x reader story I wrote in September that I had completely forgotten about! After reading through it, I figured “this is actually pretty good, I can post that” so here’s part one of four(?).

Tags: mentions of rape, mentions of murder, attempted drugging

Words: 3026

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles

You puckered your lips, painting them with the bright red lipstick that you loved. You smacked your lips a couple times, smiling at your own reflection. You were in comfortable jeans that hugged your ass perfectly, and a loose shirt, the sleeves draped around your upper arms rather than your shoulders, bright red and orange flowers on the black material. Your makeup was simple, neutral, except for the lipstick—but you couldn’t help yourself, you loved the color.

It was a first date, and you didn’t want to over-do it by over-dressing. Besides, it was a first date with this guy, and you were running out of cute, clean clothes. But it was your third “first date” in two weeks; your friends had set up a Tinder account for you and had been forcing you to go out on these dates. At first, you were reluctant, unwilling to stoop so low as to use an app to find love. But, after about a month of trying it the “old fashioned way,”—you at bars and clubs, striking out over and over again—you gave in to their insistence. Though, most of the guys on Tinder only wanted hookups, and you wanted something, well, more. You were looking for love, as cliché as that was, and that was something your friends loved to tease you about.

“You can wait around and find love whenever, but why pass up a chance to get laid?” one of your friends asked. You had blushed and tried to fumble through an excuse about why you didn’t want a hookup, why you wanted a real relationship. It wasn’t like you were necessarily against having a one-night stand, but it just wasn’t what you were looking for.

It took weeks and a lot of weeding through shitty profiles and messages until you found at least someone that seemed interesting. Your first date was alright; he seemed nice, polite but there just wasn’t a connection there. You both agreed that there shouldn’t be a second date. The second man was a real estate agent. He was once divorced, from his high school sweetheart, lived on Staten Island, had finished paying off his college debt, and was debating going back for a BS in Computer Science since that’s where the real money was. You knew all about his family life, too, because never once did he stop talking about himself. When he asked for a second date, you politely declined. Then again, and again, until you finally had to block him. If you didn’t already have this third “first date” set up, you would’ve given up on Tinder entirely.

Looking yourself over once more, you headed out the door and towards the bar that you were meeting the man at, nervous butterflies fluttering in your stomach. You had made sure you took screenshots of the man’s profile and messages, sent a picture of his profile picture to your friends, and told them where you were going. You were positive that serial killers didn’t use Tinder, but it was always better to be safe.

You made it to the bar and scanned the faces in the cramped space. Your date, Jerry, had said that he would be wearing a navy-blue polo shirt and black slacks, not that the dim lighting in the bar would help you tell the difference between the two colors. Your eyes did a full scan, not seeing anyone that looked familiar; maybe he was running late? Sure enough, you felt your phone vibrate, a message from Jerry saying that he was running behind and would be there in 5 minutes. Shrugging to yourself, you made your way to the bar, ordering a sprite and finding an open table. Being late wasn’t a deal-breaker for you, and at least he had messaged you.

You let your eyes wander through the crowd, people watching, and, if you were being honest with yourself, looking for anyone that looked attractive and hopefully alone…just in case this Jerry-guy didn’t work out. There were a couple of cute guys in the bar, but all of them seemed to be with someone, whether friends or with a girlfriend. Your eyes did settle on one man, though; he was tall, even when sitting, his hair carefully slicked back. In the dim bar lighting, it was impossible to tell if his hair was grey, blonde, or a light brown. He was in a blue, button-up shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a black striped tie, and a suit jacket was on the back of his chair. He had a beer in his hand, his long fingers wrapped around the dark bottle, with his head thrown back in laughter at something that one of the two women he was with said. One of the women was older, with long brown hair, who exuded command, even though she was also chuckling. The other woman was younger, closer to your age, with blonde hair that was tied back, beer in her hand and obviously the one cracking the jokes.

You looked away as you saw someone approaching your table out of the corner of your eye, smiling as you saw that it was Jerry—at least he matched his profile picture. You stood, giving him a polite hug, before you both sat. A waitress came up and took Jerry’s order, in which he also insisted you got a drink, too, to help loosen you both up. Not wanting to appear rude, you agreed; one drink wouldn’t make you drunk.

It took you about 5 minutes to realize that Jerry was the same, if not worse, than your last date was. He was incredibly full of himself, talking about how women just “didn’t get him” and how he was only on Tinder because he was “too busy” to actually go out and meet people. You were about to excuse yourself to the bathroom, planning to have a friend come save you, when he got up himself to go. While he was gone, you seriously contemplated leaving, but you couldn’t—you weren’t that mean. But you did instantly forget about texting a friend for help. Instead, your eyes travelled back over to the cute man with the slicked-back hair. You were shocked when you saw his bright blue eyes watching you. He quickly turned away, as did you, your cheeks flushing hot. You were too afraid to look back over, your face still feeling warm…warmer than a normal blush. You were looking hard at the table in front of you when you noticed that it was moving. Confused, you put your hand out to rest on it; it definitely wasn’t moving, but now the room looked like it was moving, shifting, and you felt like your skin was on fire now.

You stood suddenly, and almost went right back down. There was no way you were drunk, so what the hell was happening? You took a couple of stuttering steps before you felt hands on you, an arm wrapping around your waist, a hand on your shoulder, helping you up.

“You okay, honey?” Jerry asked, his fake, honey-covered voice concerned.

Your mouth moved, but you couldn’t form words. It was becoming hard to keep your eyes open, and you felt sweat forming on your forehead. You vaguely noticed him guiding you towards the door, out of the bar. Suddenly, a shadow was looming over you. You looked up, squinting at the figure above you. All you saw was slicked-back hair, and bright blue eyes, full of concern and a quiet rage.

“Sorry, man. My girlfriend just had a few too many,” Jerry was saying, trying to laugh it off. Something clicked in your sluggish brain. This is wrong, you thought, but your body wasn’t reacting to your mind. Without knowing what you were doing, you reached towards the tall, lanky man in front of you, who was now speaking harshly to Jerry. But you couldn’t understand the words. Your mind was fading fast, darkness coming to meet you.

You gathered all the strength you had left, and whispered into the loud, over-packed bar, “help me,” before the darkness overtook you.

**********************

You woke up in a soft bed, sheets pulled up to your chest, the soft whirring of machinery around you. You squinted against the harsh light as you opened your eyes, the fluorescent lights blinding you slightly. You groaned and pushed yourself up, your head pounding and your throat dry. You froze; you were obviously in the hospital, but you had no memory of getting there, or why you were there in the first place. You took mental stock of your body; besides a splitting headache, you felt fine. So why were you there?

“Oh, you’re awake! How are you feeling?” a soft voice asked. You looked over and saw a nurse coming into your room, clipboard in hand. She didn’t wait for you to answer as she started playing with the machinery you were hooked up to.

“I-I’m alright,” you rasped, throat completely dry. She wordlessly poured you a glass of water on your side table and handed it to you. You gratefully took a sip, wetting your throat. “Head hurts, though.”

The nurse nodded as she took the glass back. “That’s normal.”

You cocked an eyebrow in confusion. “Normal for what? Why am I here?”

The nurse seemed surprised for a moment before she realized. “Oh, of course you don’t remember. You were drugged last night; roofied.” Your heart sunk. You were roofied? How? You never left your drink unattended; how did someone sneak it in? And does that mean…? The nurse had continued talking, but you tuned out, mind and heart racing. She concluded with a little cup of pills for you to take, and now your heart really sunk. You knew that doctors gave women the morning after pill, as well as anti-STD pills after being assaulted. So, that must have happened to you, too, right? And you remembered none of it. Was it better that way?

“Are you alright, Ms. [Y/L/N]?” the nurse asked, looking at how you regarded the cup of pills. “It’s just eletriptan…for your headache?”

“Just—just headache pills?” you asked. The nurse smiled, nodding.

“Yes, just headache pills.” As she was heading out the door, she added, “oh! There were two SVU detectives here to see you. Can I let them in?”

Confused as to why two detectives wanted to talk to you, you nodded absentmindedly, taking the pills and downing them with a gulp of water. You had only a moment to think about it—SVU? Were you a Special Victim, even if you weren’t assaulted?—before they entered. The first detective that came in looked vaguely familiar; a young woman with her blonde hair tied back in a ponytail. The second detective, though, made you pause. You had definitely seen him before, but you couldn’t place him. Tall, lanky, slicked-back, dirty blonde hair, and bright blue eyes that pierced into yours with some sort of…guilt? Pity? It was hard to tell what was there.

“Have we met before?” you blurted, unable to stop yourself. The expression in the man’s face intensified for the briefest moment before it was replaced with a cool professionalism.

“Uh, kinda,” the woman replied. “I’m Detective Rollins, and this is Detective Carisi. We met at the bar last night.” You thought about this, trying to will your still-aching mind to remember the events from the past night, but there was nothing there.

“Do you happen to remember anything from last night?” Carisi asked. “I mean, if you remember meeting us, maybe you remember more?”

You tried to go back through what you did remember from yesterday; getting lunch with friends, getting dressed for a date, putting on your favorite lipstick, then…nothing. Flashes of music and lights from the bar, but nothing more.

“I…don’t really remember much…. Do—do you know what happened to me? I—I remember leaving my house to meet a date, but then it’s all fuzzy—” you scrunched your eyes closed, trying to force your mind to work correctly.

“Hey, don’t hurt yourself. It’s normal to not remember after being roofied,” Rollins explained. “It may come back to you in the next couple days, and it may not. Do you remember who you were going on a date with?”

You sat for a moment before you remembered. “Oh! Where’s my phone? It was some dude on Tinder—I saved screenshots of his profile.” You found your purse on the side table next to you and dug until you found your phone. You ignored the texts and missed calls from your friends, probably freaking out since you haven’t contacted them yet, and pulled up the pictures. “I went on a date with Jerry last night,” you said, showing the pictures to the detectives.

“This is perfect, definitely enough for a warrant,” Carisi replied, smirking and giving you an impressed glance. You felt the blush crossing your cheeks and fidgeted uncomfortably. “Can you text me those pictures?”

You agreed and he gave you his number. You tried to ignore the fact that you now had his personal cell phone number as you sent the photos to him, your stomach flip-flopping.

“Is it alright if we talk to you in a couple days? See if you remember anything?” Rollins asked, already making her way to the door.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” you said, watching them leave. Carisi gave you a small smile before he made it to the door. “Wait!” you called out, making him stop. Carisi stood in the doorway, brow furrowed as he looked at you. “Can you please tell me what the hell happened last night? Even if you only found me somewhere—I just, I need to know something. Was I…was I attacked--?”

Carisi’s eyes filled with a sadness; he was obviously upset that you couldn’t remember anything. He turned to look out the door. “You go on to Barba’s, get the warrant. I’ll meet up with you,” he said to his partner before coming back into the room. He pulled over the visitor chair and sat down next to your bed.

“I’ll tell you all I know; I was at the bar with my Lieutenant and Rollins after work when I looked over and saw you sitting there with Jerry. Now, Jerry looked like a suspect from a case I was working a couple months back. So, I was keeping an eye on ya, just in case.” He paused for a moment, looking slightly embarrassed that he admitted watching you, but all you were feeling right now was appreciation that someone had your back. Thank god he was there, had noticed something. “When you stood up, I knew something was wrong; you were swaying and looking like you were about to pass out. I told my Lieu, and we were coming over to make sure you were alright when Jerry came back. He was trying to tell us you were drunk, and he was going take you home. Right then, you collapsed, asking for help. My Lieu arrested Jerry right there, and Rollins and I brought ya here. But we couldn’t hold him, and we couldn’t prove he was the one to drug you. But, with your screenshots, hopefully we can check his place, find roofies in his possession.”

You sat there, dumbfounded with how incredibly lucky you had been that three NYPD detectives were there when you were drugged, and how bad it could’ve ended for you if they weren’t.

“Thank you, so much, Detective Carisi,” you managed, trying to think of something else to say.

“Please, call me Sonny,” he replied, smiling. You felt yourself melting at that smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling, though, concern was still deep in his expression. Then, a thought struck you.

“That case you were working on a month ago, that Jerry matched the description for. What did he do?”

Sonny suddenly seemed uncomfortable, unwilling to talk, considering how lengthy of a description he just gave you from the previous night. That wasn’t a good sign.

“We, uh, we were investigatin’ a man who would roofie a woman, then rape her and leave her…dead body in her own bed. The only connection he had to the victims were that they used Tinder. But he would delete his account before we could find it. All we had was security footage and some eyewitness accounts of the man.”

Your heart started beating faster at the words “dead body.” If Jerry was indeed this man, then you almost died last night. You didn’t quite know how to process that.

You were staring at the bright white of your bedsheets when you heard Sonny ask, “[Y/N], are you alright?” He dipped his head down, trying to get in your line of sight. You snapped out of your thoughts, looking up to him.

“I—yeah, I just…I almost died?” your throat constricted on the last word. You felt hot tears in your eyes, and you blinked fast, trying to not let them fall. You really didn’t want to cry in front of this man, and not just because he was cute; you didn’t want to have a full breakdown in front of someone you didn’t know.

“Hey, it’s okay, you’re safe now. ‘Sides, we don’t know for sure if Jerry’s our guy, or just some predator. Either way, we’ll get him, I promise you.” Sonny gave you another heart melting smile, before he stood up. “You have my number if ya need to talk, okay? Don’t be afraid to shoot me a text.”

You smiled as he left, shutting the door softly behind him. You already wanted to text him, but to ask him out to coffee, not to help you through your shock. But you also didn’t think that that was very appropriate, asking an SVU detective out after he saved you from being assaulted. Besides, your mind was reeling from the past 24 hours. First thing’s first, better text all your friends and let them know you were alive and unharmed. And then you were definitely deleting Tinder.

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #it's like a gift from past me

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seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana · 3 years

Text

When The Wine Glass is Empty

So @simpsonjenna1

I got your prompt of Ares like poisoning MC and Alex watching her slowly die :’)). But guess what?? When I went to save the draft??? Tumblr just??? Deleted the submission???!?!!?!? So, sorry I don’t have your exact idea and such, but I think this was the basics? I really hope it was!! And sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this :(

And @megatraven Lookie👀

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Alex was sitting at their desk at work in the early morning hours. They knew that they shouldn’t be here this early, but they had to do something. Their mind kept wandering and they weren’t getting anywhere with sleep. Their mind was too busy focusing on the memory of Ares demanding MC to be his hero.

She was in the dojo, helping them interview people, and despite her calm, she got smart with Ares. He in return tried to attack her, and they obviously went to protect her, but she also reacted. She protected everyone in the room, overloading the power from her ring, and leading to her passing out. However, they all stood witness as Ares gave a snake like smirk at them and barked out a laugh.

“Yes. I want her to be my new hero!”

Their hand that was typing froze as hot anger flowed through them from the memory.

“How dare he even have the nerve to say such a thing.” Their voice was filled with anger because he knew that this would bug them, he knew that they held MC close to their heart, and he could never stop being cruel could he?

They let out a sigh and continued typing and looking through the database. They had to find a new hero, find more people, and do anything to stop him. And to stop their own mother. Their mother sided with Ares, told them that MC should be a candidate, even if she knew that she didn’t want to be. She was afraid of being his hero, afraid of him, and even they were afraid of him, despite all their anger. Yet, their mother sided with him, not even deciding to listen to them.

That’s what really broke them inside. They could handle Ares remarks, his cruelness, his mess that they had to clean up, but hearing their own mother not even listen to their pleas? Not even listen to the woman who is in danger? Their heart would always break when they thought of that moment of their mother siding with him. But they had to push it aside, they had to push so much aside, and work as hard as they can to end his search.

After a few hours of working, it became the afternoon, and their concentration was ruined when they got a call on the computer.

It was from their mother.

They took in a deep breath and answered the call.

“Hello, mother,” they greeted her, their tone sounding monotone. It didn’t carry the tone of happiness like it usually did, and their mother noticed this. She gave them a small smile.

“Hello, my hart. How is your work coming along?” Her voice was bright like it usually was and she sounded truly excited to see them, despite the tenseness that was between them. They loved when their mother called, but she never called out of the blue. Plus, they did just have a big argument.

“Stressful,” they breathed out. ‘Stressful’ didn’t even convey the emotions they were feeling, but they couldn’t tell her. Not now.

“I know dealing with Ares is stressful, and I’m sorry you have to deal with it.” She was finally addressing the topic of Ares, and she looked truly regretful, so their heart felt a little bit better. However, the sting from the argument was still affecting both of them.

“What is it that you called me for, Mother?” They wanted to get straight to the point, so they could continue to get this job done.

“Ares has said he wants to apologize to you and MC. He wants to meet you at Josh’s restaurant.”

Their face turned to one of anger and they were ready to refuse their mother, but she cut them off.

“Please, Alex.” Her voice sounded like a plea, and it was rare for their mother to sound like this, so they couldn’t refuse her.

They gave a sigh and looked down at the desk.

“I’ll go and try to be nice,” they said as they rubbed at their temples, trying to ease the already forming headache.

“Thank you, Alex. Whenever you’re done, come up here to see me, okay?”

They nodded and wished her goodbye. They knew she was trying to help, she always was. And they didn’t know the future, maybe he will actually apologize.

“Or maybe my mother’s forcing will make him act sorry,” they whispered out. They don’t know the truth, but they guess they’ll find out tonight.

That night, they go back to their apartment with MC and they both get dressed. Usually, they would be talking, joking, and being happy together, but they were quiet now. The fear and anxiety of the situation is hitting them in the face.

They suddenly feel MC’s arms wrap around them from behind. She gives them a comforting squeeze and they pause from buttoning up their vest. They lean into her comfort and let out a sigh.

“Alex, we’ll do this together and we’ll make it out alright!” Her voice was confident and bright, but they knew it was almost fake. His fear was even affecting her when he wasn’t around, and it was hurting them too.

They finish buttoning up their vest and turn around in her arms. They see her outfit and her makeup all put together for tonight, and a blush goes across their face.

“You look really good,” they say with a loving laugh. They loved how she looked no matter what, and it always caused them to blush and stutter. They just wish it was under better circumstances. However, they push it off and kiss her on the forehead.

“Let’s go and get this over with, shall we?”

She smiles and takes their arm as they leave.

They arrive at Josh’s restaurant and he greets them at the door. He gives MC a kiss on the cheek and gives Alex a firm handshake.

“It’s always good to see you two,” he said with a smile. Seeing him and being at this place would feel calm and it would put them at ease, but now it made them even more tense. Thankfully, however, there was a section completely empty. Almost no one would be able to hear them.

They thanked Josh and walked to their table and waited. They were both tense and they felt the anxiety rise with each minute. The only thing keeping each other slightly calm was the way they held each other’s hand. It was a tight grip, but a comforting grip.

After 30 minutes, Ares actually showed up. He was walking towards them and they felt the shift in the room. The air was heavy and their panic increased even more. Alex hated the effect Ares had on them, but they knew it was worse for MC.

They looked over at her as soon as he sat down, and they saw her face and saw fear. They knew she was trying to hide it, but it was hard around a Top Tier God. And after a split second, she put on a smile and squeezed their hand for support.

“Hello, Ares. It’s nice to see you,” she said, her voice wavering but still managing to be kind.

He looked at her and sized her up and down. That mere action caused Alex to tense up and narrow their eyes. It wasn’t necessarily jealousy, but they knew he was still thinking of her as his hero, and that caused them anger at anything he did. He then switched his attention to Alex and gave a fake smile.

“Well, it’s nice to see you here, Alex.” His voice sounded like a snake and it made Alex cringe on the inside, but they played nice.

“It’s nice to see you too, Ares,” they said through clenched teeth.

Ares noticed the affect on them and it caused him to smile wider, almost looking like the Cheshire cat. He just kept smiling and looked down at the table and noticed wine glasses.

“Oh! Why don’t we start this night off with one glass of wine?” His eyes were trained on MC’s and it made her uncomfortable. This time she couldn’t hide it. She squeezed Alex’s hand and took in a breath.

“I’m not sure about that. We just came here to talk, not really eat,” she told him, managing to be direct and firm. Alex was proud of her for pushing back that fear even if it was for one moment.

His face went sour, but it only lasted for a quick second.

“Why not just one drink? Call it a toast to putting things behind us?” This time, his eyes were on Alex. His tone was teasing and it just brought more uncomfortable feelings to the both of them.

Before they could say anything else, he called over a waiter and asked for some wine. However, not just any wine. He mentioned a special wine he left in with the kitchen staff. The waiter looked uncomfortable and a little worried, but left with the wine glasses. After only a few moments, they came back and Ares thanked them for the wine.

“This is the finest wine I’ve had in awhile. It was pretty hard to get it, you know?” He sounded proud, in a way, as he gave them each their own glass.

Alex and MC looked at the wine color and it matched Alex’s eyes. This was their favorite wine, and he somehow knew that.

Ares lifted his glass up in a toast and they followed suit, trying to be polite.

“To new beginnings.” He then began to drink and even though they were uncomfortable, Alex and MC drank as well. They both drank until the wine glass was empty.

And that was their mistake.

They put their glasses down and Alex noticed how Ares stared at MC. That wasn’t the first time since he came here, but something was different. It’s like he was expecting something to happen.

And then MC began to cough.

Alex looked over at her, and she kept coughing, and they knew it wasn’t a ‘normal’ cough. This cough sounded painful, then it sounded like she was choking, and then they saw her hand. She was holding her hand over her mouth, trying not to be too loud or impolite, but she pulled her hand back and the coughing stopped. But the panic began.

Her hand was covered in blood, and blood began to drip from her mouth as she coughed again. Alex went into an immediate panic and they tried to help her up to leave, but she couldn’t. It was like her body was shutting down. She was paralyzed, and Alex began to become paralyzed as well. The situation elevated so quickly.

They looked over at Ares and his smile was now cruel. The red in his eyes seemed to glow as he let out a little laugh.

“She can’t handle the wine?”

“What did you do to her?” Their voice was pissed and if they weren’t in public, their aura would be out and already attacking Ares.

“Oh, nothing. It’s just funny how a demigod and a mortal’s tolerance is different. And not just alcohol tolerance, but poison.”

Alex’s heart dropped and they finally realize how they feel as well. There’s no blood, no coughing, but their chest hurts, they feel a little weak, and now they knew what he came here for.

He came to kill her. If he couldn’t have his way, then apparently no one could could have their way.

Alex was ready to yell and fight, but they felt MC tug at their hand and they looked over at her. She was pale, her coughing had dimmed down, and she was barely breathing. She was dying, and in desperation for something to save her, they called out to Josh.

“Josh! Call 911!”

But they deep down knew it was too late. She had drank a glass full of a poison, and they didn’t know if there was any way of coming back after that.

And so, they were forced to watch as she laid her head against the table, watched her coughing stop, and watch the light drain from her eyes.

———————————————————————

OKAY SO ENQBWH. I didn’t necessarily know where to go with this. I mean, I had an idea BUT I didn’t know how Ares would poison her exactly?? I was just thinking that maybe he slipped a wine into the kitchen, had poison in it, poured a specific amount in Alex’s glass and then MCs glass that would kill her. I wasn’t sure what to do lol. And sorry that tumblr ate your submission idea :(. BUT YEAH HOPE YOU LIKE IT AND YOU TOO MEG💙💙💙.

And the ending is probably a little weird because I didn’t know how to end it exactly and everything and yeah and theres some proofreading but sorry if there’s mistakes anywhere.

#my writing #lovestruck #Astoria fates kiss #Astoria fates kiss alex #Alex cyprin #AND OOOOH you KNOW Josh blames himself too. It hit me after I finished writing that oh no...Josh...she died in HIS restaurant. Under HIS #staff. And I think he wouldn’t necessarily be angry at the waiter because #they didn’t know BUT STILL HES SO SAD AND HATES THE GODS EVEN MORE. And let’s not get started on Alex and the way they’re so angry. And #Aphrodite GUILT AND ANGER AS WELL. Hnnnng so much could happen af r this fic and it’s just left to y’all’s imagination😌💙#AND MEGG!!! This fic is spaced out like my new Rose and Apollo chapter. Saying that because I wanted to show that the chapters should #be easier to read since they’re not as long exactly?? Still long and in same length but spaced out more so it doesn’t look #as long?? Ya know?? And I have to say that theres some lore dropping in this lifetime >:)))#ANYWAYS YEAH LOVE YOU BOTH AND HOPE YOU LOVE THE ALEX ANGST #hmmm...I’m a little tired...might fall asleep but idk. might wait for replies bc that’s how I be lol

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