#that’s the most domestic they can be in my mind
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the hot dad next door (m) | park sunghoon.
﹙ 🎬 ﹚ ぃ ────𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝗱 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂?
preview. the ever quintessential first time dad moves in next door with his five year old and finds it impossible not to fall for you, the pretty girl who gives his daughter cookies and him; the doll eyes. obsessed with your entire being, unable to keep his hands off you, park sunghoon questions if he's just crazy or he's crazy over you.
or where, he notices the way you look at his hands a little too long for it to be innocent.
meet the cast. single dad!park sunghoon with his pretty neighbour fem!reader.
genre. DILFF AUU !!, SMUT MDNI, fluff, neighbours to lovers, sunghoon is quite literally yes insanely crazed over you and for the sake of god can't keep his dick soft, domestic a little bit i guess, i want to make her my wife trope EEEKKK, slight age gap (hoon in late twenties and reader in early twenties) more to be added.
word count. est around 10k (current wc, 2k)
warnings. inaccuracies about parenting cause i aint a parent, i got no idea. more will be mentioned in the actual post.
releasing. very soon!!
park sunghoon was hot, he was a walking greek god. was single and wore these fitted suits that had you weak in the knees. if that wasn't hot enough, park sunghoon also had the cutest baby girl you had ever come across and it just made him hotter than he could ever have been.
"hey, um .. is ji—" sunghoon stands at the threshold of your open apartment door, one hand holding his creased blazer and the other rubbing at the back of his neck. embarrassed and shy at having to show up at yours looking like a mess after work because his daughter ran off while he was busy on a call and taking out her school bag from the backseat. and because everytime his daughter ran off, it was to the pretty girl next door who gives away sweet cookies all the time.
"is jia here? yeah she's in the kitchen," you answer, smiling soft and knowingly at the worried guy who barely looked like a dad. he worked in a corporate editorial, out before eight in the morning just as you prepared ingredients for your bakery. taking his daughter along to school, her excited voice resonating through the halls talking about how they were going to play with clay in class. around seven in the evening you'd hear her again, this time alone as she would skip over to your door because dada was too slow.
on weekends it'd be impossible to ignore the ruckus they made playing around, sometimes inviting you over for lunch because sunghoon apparently made too much and jia wanted to share her dada's delicious food. on some occasional weekends when he'd be called in to work for a few hours, jia would promise him to stay home and behave only to call you through the landline the moment he'd step out the door. and you would text sunghoon to come over to yours after work, his daughter munching on the new flavored cupcakes you made, unbothered about her dad and his scoldings.
"come on in, i made some almond lime tart, you could give me some feedbacks along with jia. you know she always says it's good and i can never know if it's actually good," sunghoon can't help but chuckle at that, slipping off his shoes by the front and walking inside. his eyes following your figure with a fond look as you tend to his daughter delicately, and might he admit— even more so than him.
you're sweet, you know how to handle kids; cue that one time jia was crying her eyes out after school and he had no idea what to do to comfort her, knocking at your door frantically and having his mind blown at how quickly you figured things out and calmed her down.
you're sweet, you know how to handle kids, you treat them both so well, always ready to help him out with jia, giving them sweet treats every other day and most of all— you're fucking pretty. way too pretty for him to handle.
taglist ( open. ) @s00buwu @lilyuwon @pockyyasii @nctislifue @shawnyle @enhastolemyheart @belowbun @aaa-sia @niniissus @tobiosbbyghorl @imjakes-wifeofc1 @youresolivlie @eun-cherry @kimsunoops @aiden2001 @brownsugarbaybee @pockettwinzz @bangtancultsposts @diorikis @heelvsted @crimnalseung
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PLEASE MISTER MILLER SEQUEL PART 7 - BFD!Joel x f!Reader
rating: 18+ (MAJOR FILTH IN THIS ONE)
pairings: Your Best Friends Dad Joel x f!Reader
warnings: FILTH, age gap, divorce, domestic bliss, public-ish sex, oral (m and f receiving), unprotected sex, p in v sex, all the sex and all the fluff, slightly possessive Joel, love love love.
a/n: Y'all I had major writers block with this one. Took me a bit but I think I got us there. One more chapter after this to go and I'm unsure of how to end it. . . Dunno what these two idiots deserve.
masterlist here
There's something strange about entering into Joel's home after all these months that makes your heart pound. Joel carries your bags for you, chatting animatedly that the place might look different. His voice fades into the back of your mind as you look around. It all feels so surreal to be back in this house. Bizarre to see how Joel has made the place more his own in the short time since his separation.
For one thing the frames that contained photos of Tess are gone. The only ones that remain are of him and Sarah smiling toothily at the camera. Its clear Tess has not been in the picture for some time, despite her last ditch effort to connect.
A bunch of the furniture seems new as well. The sofa he fucked you on last Christmas has been replaced by a smaller, more streamlined looking leather piece and most of the knick knacks and colorful items from the rooms have been removed. The TV is propped up on a plastic stand that looks garish amongst the more subdued and tasteful décor.
The place is definitely a bachelor pad.
The bedroom has been painted not green, but a gentle blue and that makes your heart clench tightly. The bed is new, has grey sheets and plush looking pillows. A stationary bike is in the corner. The dresser is adorned with coins, old receipts, CD’s, pencils and a variety of other things one would normally find in a carpenter’s pockets. No longer in wicker baskets or small decorative dishes.
“Now you don’t have to stay in here,” Joel says seriously, his hand still on your suitcase handle as you glance around his bedroom. “We can set you up in the guest room like before no problem. That way you’ll still have your own space.”
You frown at him. “You want me in the guest room?”
“Doesn’t matter what I want.”
“Joel.”
He sighs softly. “No, I don’t, not really.”
“So I can stay in here with you?”
“Only if you wa-“
You stop his rambling with a kiss before taking the handle from him and rolling it to the far side of the room.
“Can I put my stuff in the closet? Or dresser?”
“Both.”
You start to unpack and Joel watches this with a soft little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Dinner is pizza sat on the glass coffee table, watching a movie you two could agree on. You spend most of it sneaking glances at Joel’s profile from the corner of your eye. You find yourself completely taken with everything about him – how his salt and pepper curls fall into his forehead, how his jaw clenches when he chews his pizza, how he huffs through his nose when he’s amused at something in the movie.
You’re pathetically in love with him.
Hours later the two of you collapse onto the bed side by side, too tired from the day’s travel to do anything other than sleep. Despite this, Joel takes great pleasure in watching you shimmy out of your jeans and shirt, pulling on your nightdress and climbing back into bed with him.
“Goodnight baby,” he murmurs as he pulls you into his arms, tucking you there underneath his chin after a soft kiss. “M’so glad you’re here.”
///
You've woken up next to Joel several times in hotel beds, but never his own. So when the sun lazily makes its way into the bedroom that first morning and you blink awake, you're almost startled to see him sleeping there next to you. You take in the grey of his bed sheets, the way his mouth parts slightly in his sleep, the way his hair is tousled from sleep and you feel your heart swell.
"Morning, honey," you whisper. "You wanna get coffee?"
"Nuh uh," he mutters, eyes still closed. An arm slides over your waist, pulling you against him. "Want you."
Fucking in Joel's bed is just as delicious a fucking him in your dorm at college. Only now you don't have to rush or panic. You can just enjoy the way his skin looks in the morning sun as he buries his mouth between your legs with your thighs at his ears, his hands gripping your ass so he can devour you properly.
"Right there!" You cry out, body arching for him. "M’so close, I just-"
You come with a shuddering cry, piercing the peaceful quiet of the bedroom. Joel grins, mouth glistening with your arousal. He climbs up the length of your body, mouth ravishing yours before he urges you onto your belly. His body is heavy over yours, his mouth rasping against your ear.
“My turn.”
Joel gathers your hair into a ponytail, wrapping it around his palm and tugging you onto all fours for him. You give a soft whimper, delighted at the tugging sensation on your scalp. Joel grins, tugging you gently again by the hair as his free hand grips your thigh, urging you to arch ass in the air for him.
He sinks into you slowly, but when you whimper at the sensation and arch further the angle of your shifting hips allows his stroke to drive deeper. Already turned on out of his mind, Joel begins to thrust deep and fast, causing your eyes to roll back as you groan.
"You like that?" Joel grunts, his hips snapping against your ass.
"Uh huh."
He continues on like this with his hand wrapped in your hair, tugging you gently as he fucks into you. He checks in with you every once in a while, a soft kiss to your shoulder and a husky ‘you still okay?’ before he continues with you groaning your desire for him to go harder and deeper.
He pounds into you with intensity, the rhythm of his fingers on your clit staying steady.You come with a shuddering cry, head lolled forward and Joel’s cock sawing in and out of you, his fingers dancing on your clit.
“Whose girl are you?”
“Yours,” you groan, flesh rippling as his hips slap against your ass in a frenzy.
"That's right," Joel growls before he nips at your earlobe. "Now prove it and soak my cock."
You cry out his name before thrusting yourself back against his cock.
“That’s it, that’s it,” he coos as you come down.
You hear his ragged grunts as you climax but notice that he begins to slow, his cock slowly dragging and plunging before tapering off. You look over your shoulder at him, your cheeks flushed. Joel is looking down at you with a strange look on his face.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Was thinking of tryin' somethin'," he murmurs, dark eyes sliding over your naked body as he gently pulls from you. “You up for somethin’ a lil different?”
"Anything you want," you tell him honestly. And you mean it; Joel can use your body in any way he desires. You trust him absolutely. He’s never given you reason to doubt him. His face lights up almost boyishly as he grins down at you.
"Yeah?"
You nod and he practically leaps off the bed. You grin, taking time to appreciate the sight of his deliciously taut ass twitching as his naked frame pads over to the dresser where he threw his jeans last night.
You watch in quiet fascination as he un-loops the dark brown leather belt from the pair, sliding it around his palm as he looks over at you.
"You've used a belt before," you remind him as he moves towards the bed, hard cock bobbing as you think of how he used a belt to bind your wrists once.
"Not like this," Joel slides his tongue into his opposite cheek as he crawls back onto the bed behind you. His large palm slides over the curve of your ass, gripping a moment. You can feel his eyes on your naked body, heavy and hot.
"You trust me?"
"Yes."
There's no hesitation, no balking. You simply rest there on your hands and knees, waiting.
You feel Joel continue to watch you, no doubt observing the gathering slick of your cunt and the shine of it on your inner thighs. His hot and heavy breath is there at your ass, giving you a sharp nip on your left cheek that has you yelp and him chuckle. His warm hand soothes the sting immediately.
"So gorgeous," Joel murmurs as he kisses his way up your naked spine. You bow, wanting him to press his lips to every vertebra, to tattoo your body with his tongue and mouth. You feel him behind you, the warmth of his body curling over you as his mouth drags over your shoulder blade, slow and sensual.
"You’re so fuckin’ good for me, you know that?"
His mouth is at your jaw as he asks this and by answer you tilt your head to capture his lips against yours. He makes a low noise, his hand going to curve around your throat, holding you there so that he can kiss you at his leisure, sucking your tongue into his mouth as your cunt weeps.
“Keep bein’ good, yeah?”
You feel him circle the leather around your waist, the sensation drawing a soft gasp from you. His eyes drift to your wait as he tightens the belt before notching it. It’s almost as if he expects you to wear it, only he keeps the tail end of it firmly gripped in his palm.
"Tell me if it's too tight."
"S'not," you purr, finding the sensation of leather biting into your hips and belly to be a turn on more than anything.
He tugs gently, urging you back towards him before giving the belt some slack. His free hand is at your ass again, rubbing sweet circles over the mark he’s left. You feel him on his knees, bending back to look at you.
"Show me what's mine, baby."
You sigh contentedly, forcing your legs apart further, ass in the air, your face resting on the mattress. You know from where he kneels behind you be can see everything, including your puffy pussy completely drenched.
You whimper slightly at the sound of Joel's groan.
“Yeah, she’s all mine.”
Joel watches your muscles roll and skin prickle in anticipation and he can't stop himself from rubbing his palm up your spine, his fingers tracing where his mouth and tongue have travelled.
You whimper again, cunt twitching as fresh arousal gathers there. Joel swallows a growl and you feel him notch himself at your entrance, guiding the head of his cock against your clit before sinking into your dripping cunt.
“Joel!”
From this angle he feels so big, filling you so well. Your cunt almost stings from how big. When he begins to move you grip onto the bed sheets, body jolting as you let out little mewls of pleasure.
"So fuckin' good," Joel groans out between clenched teeth. He pulls out slowly, wanting to see his cock glossy with your slick before he’s sinking between your lips again. He does it again and again, pulling out slowly, admiring how your pussy looks when its empty and then stuffed full of him.
He does this for several moments, working you up and making you cry out his name in broken little whispers.
“Please, Joel.”
"I made you come twice already," Joel reminds you with a teasing edge to his voice. "Now you’re gonna lay there and let me fuck you full a' my come, pretty girl."
All at once you feel him tug the belt back abruptly, sending you sliding back along his length as he thrusts forward and buries himself to the hilt. He does this over and over until you hear the squelching sounds of him fucking into you. It’s obscene and dirty and you fucking love it.
"You gonna do that?" You hear the smile in his voice as his hips start to pick up the pace. "Gonna let me fuck you full?"
The bite of the leather against your skin mixing with the feel of Joel's hips slapping against your thighs is making you quickly unravel.
"Yes, Joel!" You cry out, not in pain but in pleasure.
You surrender to his thrusts, sliding back as he pushes forward, using the belt to keep you at the perfect fucking distance. You hear his panting and the sound of your sweaty bodies smacking against one another.
"What a bad fuckin' girl," Joel taunts as his hips slap your ass over and over at increasingly quicker intervals. "Came twice and she's so cock drunk she's gonna gimme another one."
"N-no Joel," you manage. "Gonna make you come."
"Don't think you can," Joel rasps with a husky chuckle. "Think my bad girl needs to soak my cock again."
You cry out at the sensation of his length hitting you so deep. But the burning desire to do good, to pleasure him overrides this.
"Wanna make you come, Joel. M'not a bad girl," you tell him almost petulantly as you move up the bed with a particularly aggressive thrust from Joel.
"Oh no?" he grinds himself against your ass, tugging the belt again. "Show me how good you can be."
You slide yourself back against the length of him, smiling into the pillow when you hear his shaky inhale. You do it again, slowly welcoming him deep before sliding off, the tip teasing your entrance before you feel the tug of his belt, forcing you back.
"Uh huh that's my good girl," Joel pants, surprising you by landing a quick slap to your ass with his free hand. "Yeah, that's it. Fuck yourself on it for me."
Your ass bounces as you bow your back for him, desperate for him to take what he wants. You urge him deeper, moaning as his hand gives you another swat on the other cheek.
"Deeper," you beg him, not just to make him feel good but because you're so fucking close.
"You’re so goddam good," he tells you as he buries himself, sawing in and out of your slippery cunt. He tugs the belt, pulling you back along his cock over and over. You cry out loud from the dual sensations of Joel's cock and the leather belt.
You feel as a few of his fingers slide under the waist of the belt, holding you more firmly in place as he begins to jackhammer his cock into your slot deeper than ever. It makes your whimpers come out in little huffs, your body shaking with each plunge of him between your thighs.
"Take... It.... Just... Like .. That." Each word is barked out with a pump of his cock into your cunt. "Good ... Girl."
You give out sharp little grunts with every thrust of him from behind you, your hands fisting in the sheets as your eyes roll back. He holds you firmly by the belt, head tilted back as his cock kisses your cervix.
"Stay right there," he pants, hips rolling aggressively now. "N'make me feel good."
"Yes," you promise, breasts shaking as he fucks harder and deeper into you. His hips slap loudly in against your ass, his cock so thick and so soaked as he slides between your swollen folds. You keen as his cock forces itself deeper and he starts grunting louder, punched out with each thrust.
“Fuck, fuck I love yo-“
He can't finish the sentence. He's coming hard, pulsing into you as he grips your body, his lips pressed to your cheek, gasping as he thrusts. Your arm goes to bend around his neck, your flesh jolting as he uses you to finish. You smile through your mutual panting, finding his mouth as you tilt your head.
“I love you too, Joel.”
///
You wake up the first few days after staying with Joel with a coiled tension in your body.
There is a small part of you that is terrified that this is all going too good. That perhaps now that you know Joel is getting divorced and the forbidden aspect of the relationship is over that it will dampen your ardor for him. That his biggest fears he had about you will come true.
But they don’t.
If anything your capacity for loving him grows. Doing crosswords together over coffee in the morning, going for walks hand-in-hand in the park near his house. Laughing over something stupid on the TV, playing cards late into the night.
He tells you he loves you every morning and every night. He holds you in his arms when you drift off to sleep. You feel a safety and a contentment you’ve never experienced before. Always waiting for the shoe to drop, but it never does.
And of course there’s the fucking everywhere, almost as if Joel has a personal mission to make sure you come in every single room. You don’t mind at all. In fact you encourage it one morning by bringing out the snowflake skirt from Christmas that you packed at the bottom of your bag, giggling in your dorm.
You put it on over a tight white tank top and bend over in front of him to grab the milk from the fridge, giving a soft “morning baby.” You can feel his sleepy gaze from beside the coffee maker and you arch slightly, pretending to not see what you’re looking for. You’re just starting to wonder if he’s noticed you’re not wearing panties when you hear him fall to his knees behind you, turning you around and fucking you with his tongue.
Seems Joel isn’t bored either.
///
Bitch I miss u! [sadface.jpg]
Sarah attaches a sad-looking selfie to the text that makes you giggle. Your time in Austin is limited, only two weeks remain before you head back home, so you have to think to the future even if that’s the last thing you want to do.
I miss you more! How is Chile?
I love it! We went stargazing in the Atacama Desert last night! [desert.jpg]
Holy shit you look so hot!
(EMOJI) Must be all the Chilean sunshine. You should be out here enjoying with your guy.
You feel your throat tighten. You can’t tell her that things are going well with your ‘guy’. She’ll want a photo. And you know she’ll recognize her own fucking house in the background no matter where you stand. Same goes for any coffee shops or local hot spots. So you try to change the topic.
How's Charlie?
Not so good. He just got an email about the job he applied for. He didn't get it so he'll jobless in September. We’re both pretty upset.
I'm so sorry.
You frown at your phone, reading your text from Sarah. She seems pretty down about the whole Charlie thing. Sarah’s always been a planner, so you know that changes like this can really set her off. She and Charlie had planned on San Diego for their next steps and it had seemed like Charlie was a shoo in. Sarah was already talking about the cute apartment they were gonna get after their travels. Your heart breaks for your friend.
It’s okay. I just wanted to say I miss u. Hope ur having fun with your guy since you loooooooooooooove him so much. One day you’re gonna have to send me a photo for approval. Gotta make sure he’s good enough for u.
I promise he is.
The door to the bathroom opens just then and a waft of steam exits, along with the scent of bergamot and whatever else is in Joel’s shampoo. He’s wearing only his boxers and the towel is slung over his shoulder as he rubs at his damp curls.
“Mornin’ baby.”
You watch him go to the dresser and pull on his black Miller Construction t-shirt, biceps bulging.
You lay in bed, gazing up at a freshly showered Joel who looks and smells so fucking sexy your pussy throbs. His broad shoulders ripple under the strained t-shirt fabric as he drags a comb through his wet hair.
“Do you really have to go back to work today?”
It’s been two weeks of just existing in this blissful cocoon of eating and laughing and fucking. You don’t want it to end, but of course life has to intrude.
“F’raid so, baby. I’m the boss and I better show my face before they start likin’ Tommy better.”
“Not possible,” you tell him with a grin.
“But to make up for it, I’m takin’ you out tonight,” he tells you, his dark eyes staring at you in the mirror’s reflection.
“A date?” you’re on your knees now, hands excitedly clasped in your lap. “Where?”
He drops the comb on the dresser, coming to sit next to you on the bed. He grips your chin in his thumb and forefinger, dragging your mouth to his only to stop an inch from your mouth.
“S’a surprise pretty girl.”
“How should I dress?”
“However you want,” he shrugs before kissing you softly. You hold in an eye roll at this. Men just don’t understand fashion.
He prepares to stand but he smells so good and he looks even better. His curls are drying into soft little salt and pepper waves and you need to have him. You pull him back for another kiss, tongue’s dabbing.
“Do you really have to go right now?” you ask with a teasing lilt. Your hand drifts between his legs and you smirk when you see his eyelids flutter.
“Yes,” he says sternly, his hand covering yours.
“Just five minutes,” you urge, hands coming to unbuckle his jeans, drawing down the zipper and sighing when his warm cock comes alive in your palm.
“I-I have to go,” he breathes against your mouth. “I gotta-”
“Just lemme make you come,” you whisper, kissing his jaw. “I wanna make you come, Daddy.”
Joel tries so hard to regain his thoughts but you’ve started stroking and he’s powerless. It isn’t long before he’s driving you into the mattress, hips snapping against yours and moaning your name into your shoulder as he tells you time and time again that he’s late, that he has to go, that… oh fuck you feel amazing.
It’s an hour later when Joel finally rushes out of the house, still pulling down his t-shirt as he starts the truck.
///
You’re sitting on the couch, going through job applications for back home as you wait for Joel to arrive for your date night. You’ve only got a week or so left here in Austin before you have to go back to your depressing life. You need to have a plan, a place to rent. You can’t move back with your awful parents. Parents who haven’t sent you as much as an e-mail since your blow up at graduation.
The doorbell rings, surprising you into dropping your phone. You wait a moment, eyes wide as you stare at the door. Joel has never told you one way or the other if you should answer it. What if it’s Tess? What if it’s a nosy neighbor?
Ding dong.
Fuck it. If it’s a neighbor you’ll tell them you’re a friend of the family. If it’s Tess…well… You don’t know what to do about that.
You straighten your dress, trying to look composed as you sail to the door, opening it a crack and peeking your head around.
Joel stands there on the front porch dressed in a pale blue button down and fresh jeans. He’s smiling widely at you and in his hands he holds a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Some yellow, some pink, but the ones that really call to you are the white sleepy looking ones.
“I’m here to pick you up for our date,” he rumbles, his eyes glittering. His eyes sail over your face and the sundress you’ve chosen. “Fuck you’re a knockout.”
You blush, taking the flowers from him as you open the door widely. “Thank you, they’re stunning.”
“The yellow ones are kerrias and those white ones? They’re called summer snowflakes,” he says as he watches you gazing at them.
“Really?”
“Mhm.”
You press a kiss to his eager mouth, his lips chasing yours when you pull off squealing.
“I’m gonna put them in water!”
You find a tall vase under the sink and arrange the bouquet inside, gazing at them with your cheeks hot. You’ve never been romanced like this. Conrad thought jewelry and expensive dinners were enough. Joel does those things but he does so much more. He remembers little things, he calls you beautiful, he cherishes you.
Joel is still standing by the front door as if this is a real date and you hurriedly rush back, pulling your purse over your shoulder. You take in his button down and jeans again, scrunching your nose in confusion.
“How-“
“Had the clothes in my car,” he tells you with a grin before offering his arm. “Ready to go, beautiful girl?”
///
He takes you to a food truck for dinner, not exactly what you were expecting, but certainly nothing to sneeze at. The streets are busy, lined with tourists all snapping photos, laughing, listening to the street musicians.
“They got the best tacos here,” he informs you as he passes you a carton holding several. “And there’s somewhere I wanted to show you.”
You follow him down the busy main streets of Austin, past the various folks that try to sell you trinkets. You come upon a group of people bustling around one specific site, a painted mural of a piece of toast saying “You’re my” and a dab of butter boating the words “Butter Half”. You grin at it.
“They did these murals all over Austin,” Joel explains as you approach it. “Some’ve been around for decades, some more recent. S’one of my favorite things about Austin. I look at ‘em all the time when I need a walk, or to clear my head. S’better than any art gallery, cheapter too.”
“Are there more?” you ask, taking a bite from your taco.
“Yep.”
As the two of you eat your dinner, Joel takes you through a walking tour of the neighborhood, pointing out the various murals that you pass. Some are funny, some political, some devastating.
Wherever you go people are posing in front of them, flashing peace signs and smiling broadly at phone cameras. An especially popular one is the one on a green background with the red spray painted words: I love you so much. Compared to the rest of the colorful pieces its sweet in its simplicity.
“I like that one,” you muse.
“Me too,” Joel says, kissing your temple and taking your hand. He grabs you an ice cream around the next block, watching as you grapple with not letting it drip down your palm in the summer heat.
You watch Joel’s face turn into a smile as you pass a woman with two children. One in her arms, the other tugging her towards one of the murals. You aren’t blind to the way his eyes get wistful, his mouth tight. You think of your conversation over spring break when he didn’t really answer your question.
"You really want more kids, don’t you?" You offer gently.
"Uh, maybe, yeah," Joel shrugs, almost embarrassed at being caught out. "I mean, I had Sarah when I was nineteen goin' on twenty. Would be nice to be a dad when I'm not scrambling paycheck to paycheck with a wife who's got one foot out the door."
You nod thoughtfully, your tongue coming to take a slow lick of your cone.
"Just so you know, it's not a deal breaker," Joel is quick to explain when you go quiet. "I mean if we... You know… You don’t need to want them."
"But you just said you think you want another kid."
"I want you more."
You feel your heart hiccup at that. You have to turn away so he doesn’t see how your eyes have grown glossy. Sometimes Joel says the perfect, most amazing thing and he doesn’t even realize it.
The subject is dropped for the time being. It feels like too much too soon.
"S'funny I've never been a PDA person," Joel muses as he runs his fingers along your spine as the two of you continue to walk. "But I can't keep my hands off of you."
"Same here,” you admit. “I used to hate it when Conr- when my ex would hold me around the waist when we walked. It felt so… possessive.”
“I’ll make a note of that,” Joel muses with a smirk.
“That’s different,” you say quickly, eyes wide. “I… I wouldn’t mind it if you did it.”
“You like me bein’ a little possessive of you?” Joel murmurs, smirking down at your increasingly red face. You give an airy shrug, hoping it conveys a sense of indifference.
“Maybe.”
His hand wraps around your waist, holding you against him as you keep walking. And it doesn’t feel like possession, it feels like love. Everything Joel does feels like love.
With your ice cream gone but your hand still sticky you come to another mural, this one a black painted wall with writing all over. The closer you get the more you can the details. It’s like the wall of the building has been painted like a huge chalkboard. Stenciled on is the same question over and over ‘Before I die _________”.
You can see there are so many answers in chalk all over it.
Before I die I want to visit Australia.
Before I die I want to see Harry Styles in concert.
Before I die I want to write a book.
“You ever answered this?” you ask as you read more of the various scripts.
Before I die I want to make a change in the world.
Before I die I want to win the lottery.
“Yeah. Once.”
You turn to him when he doesn’t elaborate. He’s got a funny little look on his face, staring at the mural.
“When?”
“Little bit after Christmas,” Joel mutters, almost embarrassed. He tries to keep walking but you hold him steady by the wrist. He looks back over at you, his cheeks stained pink at the cheekbones.
“C’mon, tell me,” you urge with a gentle tap of your hip against his. “No secrets, remember?”
The day is quickly turning to night and Joel’s silhouetted in the golden hour, making him look almost angelic as he stands there. The deliberation is clear in his expression before Joel huffs a soft sigh, his mouth twitching into a crooked smile as he leans forward, his mouth at your ear.
“Before I die, I want to hold Snowflake one more time.”
Your eyes fill with tears as he pulls his face back from yours, his own eyes damp. You know how he must have been feeling last year. The same way you had been, only you’d convinced yourself it was one-sided. A fleeting infatuation.
How wrong you had been.
///
You and Joel haven’t brought up the fact that you have to leave soon. Three days in fact until your unofficial time with him is over. Three days left of kissing and hugging and whispers of fidelity and love are shared. Three days left of fucking him over every imaginable surface.
You want to distract yourself from the oncoming misery so you send him a text with items you’ll need to make him a special dinner. At six promptly the front door to the house opens and Joel comes walking in, weighted down with grocery bags.
“You’re sure you needed all this stuff?”
“Mhm,” you jump up from the couch, padding after him into the kitchen. “I wanted to make something special to celebrate our time together.”
Joel grins over at you, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he drops the bags on the counter. He leans forward and presses a peck to your mouth. You feel his tongue dab against yours and you know exactly what he’s up to.
“Get outta here,” you say pushing him gently and going to stand at the counter. “I gotta start cooking.”
“I just wanna watch,” Joel insists, standing behind you and wrapping his arms around your middle. You want to deny him, but his hands are coming to the hem of your t-shirt, tugging it free from your skirt.
“Joel-“
"Remember when you sucked my cock right there?" Joel groans into your hairline, pressing you into the counter with his hips.
"Yeah," you whimper, feeling his hand curling around your panties and tugging them down over your ass.
"Fuckin’ filthy girl."
“Mhmmm,” you murmur, hand going behind you to slide down his front. His cock is already hard when you squeeze it through his jeans. "Wanted you to fuck me against it."
"We can make that happen," Joel grins against the crown of your head, pulling himself from his jeans. "You want that, baby?"
"Yeah."
"C'mon now," he breathes as he sheaths himself in your dripping pussy. "You be good an' loud for me. You tell me how good it feels."
You do.
Subsequently dinner is late, but delicious.
“Holy shit you could cook all this time?” Joel whistles between bites of cornbread and steak amongst your other homemade items. “You’ve been holdin’ out on me.”
“Maybe I just like your cooking better.”
“Mhm.” Joel gives a roll of his eyes at that.
Despite the both of you being stuffed from dinner and dessert, you still want to fuck him later that night. It feels like urgency as you think of time ticking away, but as you roll towards him in bed Joel doesn’t quite seem himself.
He’s looking at the ceiling, brows scrunched together. It makes you nervous even as you lay curled in his arms.
“What’s going on?”
“Huh?” Joel turns his attention to. “Nothin’ baby.”
You both fall quiet, your fingers twisting in the duvet. Your mind goes home to a house that feels cold and empty. To a bed that won’t have Joel in it. You try not to feel too devastated. You don’t want to ruin what precious time you have left.
You tilt your head, seeing that Joel is staring up at the ceiling again.
You shuffle to balance your chin on his sternum, gazing up at him under sleepy lids. You want to memorize his face, the way his chest falls when he breathes or the sweet, gentle way he’s gazing at you.
"What do you think of stayin' here a bit longer?" Joel whispers, hand coming to rub the hair over your ear.
"In bed?"
"In Austin."
"Like, for the rest of the summer?"
The thought makes your pulse pick up. You are in absolutely no rush to head back home to your parent’s house. In no rush to leave Joel's warm arms and warmer smile.
"Longer 'n that," Joel murmurs. Your brows knit together.
"You said you were plannin' on doing your courses online," Joel explains. "And you were lookin' for a part time job but you didn't have one yet. So why not just do it all here? I know lots of people; I could find you a job easy."
You stare at him a moment as you digest this. Joel is asking you to move in with him. And instead of fear or unease you felt at the thought of doing so with Conrad, your face blooms into a beaming smile.
"You've really been thinking about this," you say both touched and amused by him. You crawl up the length of him, wrapping your arms around him.
He goes quiet, looking embarrassed for a moment before his arms tighten around you, holding you to him as he kisses your neck.
"I'd love to," you answer with a soft peck to his lips.
“Yeah?”
"Yeah,” you grin, blinking back the wet. “I never wanna leave Austin...Or you… Or this bed."
Joel's mouth finds yours, hands pulling you more tightly to him as if his joy can be expressed better physically.
"And if it's too much stress don't worry about the job," Joel assures you between kisses. "I'll take care of you."
"Joel, I'm not gonna sponge off of you," you insist with a frown. "I'm not gonna be a kept woman. I'm gonna get a part-time job while I finish school."
"Well until then I've got a job for you," Joel says with a crooked grin as he pulls your hand over the hardening cock in his sweatpants. "One I know you're more than qualified for."
///
The sunrise feels different in Joel's bed. You can't quite explain it. It's like the colors are more vibrant peeking through his blinds, the warmth more gentle against your skin.
Joel is always wrapped around you, legs twisted, your head buried in his neck, as if even sleeping he never wants to be without you. The serenity of these first moments of consciousness never fails to amaze you.
One morning you can't help but marvel at how beautiful he is when he sleeps. Plush lips parted, eyes softly shut, dark lashes fanning over his cheek. His golden body muscled and warm from slumber.
And he’s yours.
The concept overwhelms you and you find yourself pushing your body from the bed, energy forcing you to the kitchen where you put on a pot of coffee before padding into the living room. The sun hasn’t quite risen over the neighborhood yet.
You sit on the window seat, shoulders loose and your head tilted to the side. Your hands are in your lap, loosely curled against your ankles, the percolating coffee forgotten as you take in the beauty of the morning.
You’ve never had things like this; quiet, peaceful mornings where the day stretches out before you full of sublime joy and possiblity. Always in school or at home with your parents or with Conrad. But with Joel you just exist, not beholden to anyone but yourself.
This is what happiness is.
You hear footsteps pad slowly towards you and you glance up over your shoulder to see a mug of coffee extended in your direction, made just the way you like it. You take it along with the full lipped kiss he gives you. Joel’s eyes are sleepy small and his body is still warm from slumber.
"Watch the sunrise with me," you whisper.
Joel nods before taking a seat next to you with your situating yourself in his lap, leaning back into his chest as the pink of the sky bleeds into blue. You sip your coffee slowly, reveling in the security of Joel's body, the steady rise and fall of his chest, at the way his muscled arms wrap around you like a cloak.
You're both silent as the gold of the morning breaks through, casting everything in that hazy romantic light. You don't even notice the tears until they plop onto your bare leg. Joel must notice too because he cranes his head to peer into your face.
"What's the matter, baby?"
His voice is early morning rumble. You sniffle before gazing up at him with a watery smile.
"I'm just so happy."
///
In early July Austin goes through a heat wave that leaves everywhere absolutely sweltering. It has you and Joel resting on the living room floor, the air conditioner and fans whirring around you. Joel wears nothing but shorts and you nothing but a skimpy pair of cut offs and tank top. But neither of you is feeling amorous.
The heat carries into the rest of the work week leaving Joel sweaty and exhausted when he comes home. The air conditioner is working overtime but the sticky heat lingers. It makes doing much seem impossible. You’ve been stuck inside the last few days, eating cold meals and trying to do as little as possible.
Joel doesn’t always have bad days at work, but when he does you want nothing more than to take the weight from his shoulders. You can tell it’s an especially bad one today because he kicks off his shoes and drops the toolbox at the front door.
“Bad day?”
“Tommy thought it would be great to sign off on tile that we can’t fuckin’ afford on this latest remodel,” Joel all but snaps, collapsing onto the couch with a groan.
“I’m sorry. Can I do anything?”
“Lower the price of fuckin’ tile?”
You don’t say anything to that. Suddenly you feel very small, as if this is somehow your fault. As if you do in fact control the price of tile. You glance around the house and see plates on tables, cups forgotten. You should’ve cleaned today instead of looking at jobs.
"Let’s go for ice cream after dinner," you offer, trying to rouse his spirits. “My treat.”
"S’too hot. It'll melt before we even get a lick in."
"Home Depot?" You suggest, knowing it’s one of Joel’s favorite spots to walk around.
"It'll be crowded and we might see some people I know."
It's a bit of a sore point between you two. Joel hasn't introduced you to anyone and you've made no effort to make him. You enjoy this little cocoon you've created and don't want anything to spoil it. The thing is you have an idea that Joel would like to start introducing you, but Sarah has to know first.
Neither of you is looking forward to that.
“Could make those boozy slush things we saw?”
“Nah,” Joel replies, sweat beading his forehead.
You’re feeling irritable from the heat and unhappy that Joel’s bad day has somehow translated into you feeling shitty.
“Well you’ve shot down all my ideas why don’t you come up with one?”
“I just worked ten hours in the blistering sun. I’m sorry if I’m not in the mood to plan a fuckin’ date,” Joel snaps, sweat beading his forehead. “Maybe if you gave me five fuckin’ minutes t-”
Whatever else Joel had been about to say is lost because you’re already striding from the room. Your legs feel like jelly and you are almost blind with tears. You rush to the guest room, slamming the door behind you.
You throw yourself onto the bed; eyes squeezed shut as you try to even out your breathing. Your heart is pounding and you want to sob. But another part of you wants to tell Joel off, to tell him to go fuck himself.
You hear the door to the bathroom opening, then the shower running. You roll onto your back, eyes glaring up at the ceiling. Ten minutes pass before there’s a knock at the door. You pull yourself to a sitting position, holding your knees.
“Baby?”
You don’t answer. You don’t want to listen to him, to look at him. You’re furious at him for this and you’re terrified because this feels like your first real fight together.
When you don’t say anything he gently pushes the door open, dark eyes peeking around the door to see your tear-stained face glaring back at him. His brows saddle and he comes to the end of the bed, just looking down at you.
“So I guess that was our first real couple fight,” he offers guiltily.
“Yep.” You sniffle. "I don't like it."
"Me neither. I'm so sorry I snapped," he tells you earnestly, dropping to his knees beside the bed, but not touching you. "I know you were just trying to help. The stuff at work an’ the heat just got to me."
You shrug. “I didn’t give you space.”
“Space I’ve never asked for before? Nah, I was just bein’ an asshole," he says gently and you see the harshness leaving his handsome features. “Came home like a bear with a toothache. All you were tryin’ to do was make me happy.”
“Still.”
"I appreciated it,” Joel tells you gently. "Just maybe if I'm upset gimme time to cool off. I can have a bad temper at times an’ sometimes I just need to be in my head about it for a bit."
His hand grips your knee gently, squeezing to let you know all is well on his end. You allow it, feeling your animosity leaving you at the exchange.
"Okay," you nod. "I can do that."
"So I'm forgiven?"
"Always.”
You lift his hand from your knee and Joel smiles at you, accepting your gentle kiss to his palm without hesitation. He kisses you tenderly before pushing the sweaty hair from your face, his nose brushing yours.
"I have an idea of how to cool off."
An hour later you're at the movies with its sweet, beautiful air conditioner and giant tubs of popcorn and sodas in your laps. You and Joel pick the next movie playing which turns out to be some superhero fair he enjoys. You smile when he laughs, watching out the corner of your eyes as he does, your heart light because everything with Joel feels possible. Fights seem manageable.
Life is beautiful.
///
It’s the start of August when you start a part time job at a bookstore nearby. You and Joel discovered it during one of your lazy Sunday morning adventures where you try new coffee places.
It’s a quick bus ride from your place, but Joel insists on driving you when he can. But today you’ve been let go early due to over-staffing. You don’t mind at all, taking advantage of the beautiful day.
You walk down the sun-dappled streets feeling buoyed. You walk past the strip mall, glancing at the stores that line it. You normally don’t pay attention, but today your gaze is drawn to the sultry photo of the model in the store window.
Where Sensuality meets Style.
You don’t know what you’re expecting to do when you go inside the shop. What you’re not expecting is to come out a half hour later with some of the most scandalous lingerie you’ve ever owned. It’s black and strappy and shows more than it covers.
The second you get home you jump in the shower before primping. You take the lingerie out of the bag delicately, eyes wide with delight.
The lace black bra is completely see-through and the deep blush of your nipples are easily visible. There are decorative straps that hug the curves of your breasts. The panties match the fabric of the bra, low cut and barely covering your ass. Around your middle is a strappy black garter belt that matches the straps of the bra. You pull on the sheer black thigh-highs, attaching them before spinning, turning to see you from every angle in the bedroom mirror.
You look hot.
Your strappy high heels have been in the bottom of your bag, waiting for such an occasion. You tie them up, smiling to yourself. Joel is going to be very pleased. You pull on the black silk robe that came with your purchase, a thin little kimono-style that barely reaches your knees.
You’re just applying a deep shade of red to your lips when you hear Joel’s truck pull into the driveway. Your heart skips a beat and you quickly spritz yourself with the perfume Joel bought ages ago.
Showtime.
You hear the key starting in the lock and with a dramatic flourish you throw open the door as you undo your robe, letting your lingerie doing most of the talking for you. You strike a pose, hip jutting and tits out.
"Hope you're ready to get your cock sucked Mister Mill-"
Your eyes blow wide when you see the man on the other side of the door isn't Joel at all. It's a younger man with similar eyes and curls, his hand raised and holding a key to the house that he was in the process of unlocking.
The man averts his eyes to the ground politely before breaking into an embarrassed grin. You pull the robe around you tightly, cinching it and squeaking in humiliation.
"Now I see why my brother keeps rushin' home after work," the man says with an unsteady laugh.
Brother.
This is Tommy, Joel's brother that you've heard so much about.
Fuck
Sarah's uncle.
Double fuck.
"I…uh..." You falter, terror running through you.
Tommy looks immediately apologetic, his dark brows furrowed.
"Hey now, there's no need to be embarrassed," Tommy assures you. "Joel's his own man. I ain't gonna tell him he's too old and ugly for a pretty young thing like yourself."
You wonder if you should make up a lie like you're the house cleaner. But no, you can't after you answered the door dressed like you are.
Triple Fuck.
"It's not just that," you say and suddenly you feel the blush heating your cheeks. "It's uh... "
"What the fuck is goin’ on?"
The two of you glance over to see Joel pulling his truck into the driveway beside Tommy’s. He nearly jumps out while it's still parking. His legs scissor quickly over the grass, nearing to you.
You hear Tommy swear under his breath as his older brother advances. Joel sees you in the doorframe, your eyes wide. He glances down your body when he sees you’re wearing a robe before glaring at Tommy.
"What the fuck are you doin' at my house?"
"Came to get those tools we talked about." Tommy tries to smother his smirk. "Didn't know you had company."
"You could've called."
"Never had to before."
“Well you do now.”
The two brothers stare at each other speaking through micro expressions. You worry that a fist fight is about to break out if you don't de-escalate the situation.
“I’m gonna go change," you say with an awkward laugh.
"I'll grab the tools," Tommy mutters, wincing at the angered look from Joel. "Think they're in the back shed, yeah?"
"Or the garage. Can't remember."
The two continue talking lowly but you’re already in the bedroom with the door closed. Your cheeks are flushed and your heart is beating like mad as you go to the dresser to pull out some jeans and shirt, your hands trembling with anxiety.
What if Tommy tells Sarah?
She'll be devastated. She needs to hear it from you and Joel, not her uncle.
You hear the bedroom door open behind you and you see Joel slip into the room, his dark eyes on you.
"I'm so sorry," you say as he approaches you. "I thought it was you."
"Course you did," Joel murmurs, coming to stand next to you. "How could you have known my idiot brother would be breakin' in?"
"I'd hardly call it breaking in," you say with an eye roll. "He had a key."
"Not anymore." Joel frowns, his eyes noting the robe again. "Did you just wake up?"
"No," you say, suddenly shy. "I was... I was wanting to surprise you.”
Joel's gloomy mood is immediately broken. His mouth curves into a broad smile.
"My girl," he coos, fingers pinching your chin softly. "So thoughtful."
You want to say more but Joel's fingers are sliding down your neck, ghosting over your breasts and then at the sash untying quickly, eyes wide with anticipation. He practically tears it from you as you hold in a giggle.
When Joel sees the lingerie underneath you feel his gaze turn ravenous.
"This is what you were waitin’ to show me?" Joel murmurs, hands trailing down the front of your lingerie.
"Yeah."
"Turn for me," Joel whispers. You spin gently in his arms, feeling flustered. He grips a handful of your ass, groaning at the sight as it falls. "Fuck baby. I don't deserve this."
"You deserve more," you tell him, looking at him over your shoulder.
You spin slowly in his grip, feeling his fingers drag along the sheer fabric. Joel casts an appreciative gaze at your breasts barely contained. He's groans feel the back of his throat, his hands cupping you through the fabric. He sees your nipples and latches his full mouth over one, sucking through the fabric.
"Joel!"
He does the same with the other, soaking the sheer fabric and leaving you panting. He twists you gently, his hand sliding over your covered mound.
"Gonna let me fuck you, pretty girl?"
"Now?"
"Mhmm," Joel murmurs against the shell of your ear. "Can't wait when you look that good."
"I guess I could show you what I had prepared," you tease.
He watches you slide onto your knees in front of him, hands deftly coming to his belt and zipper.
Joel watches this with his mouth parted and his gaze electric as he watches you pull his cock from his jeans. He's rock hard and when you swipe your tongue over the head he hisses.
You kiss the head gently, feeling him twitch with every graze of your full mouth over him. Your tongue comes out to give long, wet licks to the shaft and you hear him groan above you. You place him against your lower lip, watching the red bloom on his cheeks.
You look the very picture of debauchery on your knees with his cock resting against your lips.
"Can I please suck your cock, Joel?"
A full-bodied shudder goes through him at your husky plea. His hand comes to cup your cheek as he gives you a soft shake of his head. You're surprised at this and when he tilts, bringing you to a stand in his arms you furrow your brow.
"Need to feel your cunt, baby," he says grazing his lips against yours. 'S'that okay?"
You pause, indecision flirting across your features. You're not exactly quiet when Joe is inside you. He turns you, holding you from behind and urging you towards the bed. But you pause, your pulse thrumming.
"Tommy might hear."
"He never should have come here," Joel tells you as he nuzzles the back of your neck. "His own fault if he hears somethin'."
"Joel!"
"Mister Miller," Joel croons against the shell of your ear and suddenly you understand. The dynamic that started all of this, fucking when you could be caught. He's throbbing against your back and you smile, grinding back against him.
"You're so bad, Mister Miller," you coo, feeling as delicious goose bumps prickle all over, whimpering when Joel's palm cups your pussy through the fabric.
"Must be what you like, cuz you're soaked," he reminds you, nipping the flesh of your lobe. "Get on the bed for me, bad girl."
His hand moves from your pussy to slap your ass playfully. You barely hesitate before you shoot him a smirk and go to unbuckle your heels but Joel stops you with a firm shake of his head.
“Leave ‘em on.”
You grin up at him before turning onto your stomach, sure to arch appealingly as you crawl on all fours to the center of the mattress. Joel watches this from under heavy eyelids, his cock straining against the zipper of his jeans.
You throw yourself onto your back, giggling softly when Joel comes to bracket your thighs with his own. He looks down at you with a heat in his eyes that you can feel burning within you. He leans over your body, warm and heavy and his head drops, mouth coming to lick your hardened nipple through the gauzy black fabric. The other is pinched with his free hand, worrying them both into straining points.
He does the same with the other, attentive as you sigh in exhilaration. Your thighs band around his waist, holding him nestled against you. His hands are tugging the front of your lingerie down, exposing you to him.
"Gorgeous," he breathes, huffing along your sternum, kissing down your stomach. It twitches under the contact.
You give a small gasp of surprise when Joel tugs you by the ankles until your ass is at the edge of the bed. His hands slide up your black thigh highs, inhaling as he looks you over. He brings your legs to either side, hooking your heels at his shoulder before kissing each ankle bone sweetly.
He begins subtly licking his lips in anticipation as he views you, eyes taking their time to see you pliant and waiting for him. His thumbs hook in the waist of your thong, tugging it off officiously over your ass as you squirm excitedly below him. He brings them off over your ankles and shoes, the heels at his ears.
"Wrists together," he murmurs, the black edging out the remaining brown of his eyes.
You exhale slowly, trying to calm the flush going through your body. You hold out your wrists to him, your own eyes bright.
Joel smirks down at you before binding your wrists securely with your panties. The fabric is taut around your wrists as you raise your arms above your head, letting them fall back on the mattress.
"We shouldn't be doing this," you tell him, playing into it as you gaze at him through hooded eyes. "Shouldn't fuck me when he could hear, Mister Miller."
"Maybe I want him to hear," Joel replies smoothly, surprising you. "Maybe I need him to know why he doesn't come bargin' into my house."
You giggle up at Joel, watching him bring his cock from his pants. He's remarkably hard, the head weeping as he guides it to your entrance. You’re practically folding in half, your legs against his chest, his cock teasing your clit.
"Spread those legs for me," Joel murmurs with adoration in his eyes. "Lemme see how wet she is."
"Yes, Mister Miller."
Your thighs part and he gives a heavy sigh at the sight, his hands holding your ankles against his shoulders. You lay there bound and exposed to him and you've never felt safer. You exist in the harbor of his love, protected.
Joel's one hand goes to your inner thigh, sliding until it reaches the seam of your cunt. You give a soft whimper as his fingers drive forward, grazing your clit.
"Fuckin' perfect."
Those same fingers begin to curl, coaxing more delicious whimpers from you. Joel watches this all with eager interest, his cock weeping at the sight of you restrained and spread wantonly for him. When he adds a third finger you feel your thighs begin to quake.
"Don't make me wait anymore," you beg needfully through moans. "I need your cock. Please."
Joel slowly removes his fingers, slipping them from you to wrap around the base of his cock, drenching it in your arousal before he leads it between your trembling thighs.
"Anythin' you want, baby," Joel grins down at you. "Anythin' you want."
Joel slides into you with ease. It's not shocking; you're already dripping for him. He lets out a groan before his hands go to your thighs, parting them further, allowing him to thrust deeply, his ass clenching as he bottoms out in you. The two of you give a soft gasp at the sensation.
“Never felt this good,” he tells you, eyes heavy. “Not with anyone.”
His palms slide down your thighs, grazing over your calves until they come to stop at your ankles. Joel takes one in each hand, pressing a kiss to the delicate anklebones before he's parting your legs obscenely until you’re almost doing the splits below him, your pussy glossy and pink and full of his cock. He holds you open like this, eyes ravenous as he continues to sink into you.
“Attagirl,” he croons as his head tilts back. The sensation is divine and you let him guide your movements, your hands on the bed and your legs held spread by Joel. From this angle you can see him enter you slowly, shaft glistening as he strokes in… and pulls out, grazing your clit.
"So full," you whimper, eyes rolling and back arching off the bed. He feels so good, so perfectly thick between your legs when he does it again. "So good."
He grips your ankles tightly, dark eyes peering down as he stands next to the bed. Your tits bounce with every drive of his hips into you.
"Take it all, baby" Joel grunts down at you. "Make me proud."
He’s still standing, still slightly tilted over you beside the bed. It’s impossible to touch him, only to lay there, spread-eagle with Joel’s cock driving into you over and over, deeper and deeper. Sweat begins to shine along his shoulders as he fucks into you, little groans escaping him as he watches your body ripple under him.
"J-Joel!" You groan out, hands groping the sheets.
"Not my name," Joel grunts, his hips slamming into your ass.
"M-Mister m-M-ah-Miller!"
He's going faster, his soaked cock pistoning in and out of your cunt as your body rocks against him. Your hands are in the blanket, gripping there tightly as Joel holds you wider as his pace quickens. Your hips burn, your thighs strain but you crave more. You glance down again, watching as he saws in and out of you, his cock dripping with you arousal.
"Takin' it so well," Joel grunts out loudly when he sees you watching. "Pussy is just fucking milkin' my cock today, pretty girl."
At the sound of your groan in response he fucks into you furiously, balls slapping your ass and making sharp smacking noises in the quiet bedroom. It’s this sound which brings you back to yourself, recalling that Tommy is likely in the house at this very moment, tools in hand.
"You gotta be q-quiet!" You whimper between his deep thrusts. Joel may be fine with his brother hearing the two of you fuck but you certainly aren't.
"Nuh uh," Joel grins almost ferally. "Not in my house... Wanna hear my bad girl scream my name."
It’s so fucking wrong.
"Say my name," Joel urges. "Wanna hear it when you come."
You're brain goes fuzzy, knowing what Joel requested. But a pleasure is building between your legs and drifting into your veins. It makes your mind work sluggish, unable to form the right words.
“I’m gonna come-“
“For who baby? Say it?” Joel demands, and now he fucks you hard, his balls tightening when you bounce on his cock.
"Daddy!"
Both sets of eyes blow wide at this. Neither of you were expecting that to be the honorific you groaned loud enough for Tommy to hear. But the sound of it is potent and Joel grips your hips tightly in his hands and fucks you deep.
"Fuck yeah you are," Joel grunts out obscenely. "Give it to Daddy."
You try to cover your mouth but Joel is thrusting so quickly, so deep your hands fly to gain purchase on the mattress.
"You're so deep," you moan, your breasts rolling as he pumps into you. "It's so good!"
You know that if Tommy is still in the house he's heard everything. But you don't care, all you can do is look where Joel has you spread lasciviously, his soaked cock pumping in and out of you.
"Come on my cock, come on Daddy's cock," Joel chants in a hush, sweat shining on his brow. "Need it baby, Daddy needs it now."
Joel's collar and neck are pink, his cheekbones red. His teeth are clenched and bared as he watches himself fuck into you. His biceps are curled, holding your thighs widely open for him.
He's magnificent.
His eyes roll back a moment, his hips stuttering a moment. He's getting close.
"Come for me," Joel groans out, his eyes stuck on yours. "Be a good girl and come for Daddy."
And suddenly you can't stop yourself. Your hands are clutching the blankets and your body is arching off the bed violently as your orgasm takes you over.
"Fuck, Daddy! I'm coming!"
Joel gives a broad grin before grunting your name as he spills inside you with your trembling legs still spread wide, ankles held by Joel's large palms.
Finally he comes down, his panting heavy as he collapses into the bed next to you. He brings you over to him, wrapping you in his arms and grinning in your hair.
"That'll teach Tommy to come over unannounced."
///
The two of you are on the sofa; your head is resting on a pillow in his lap. He's watching the news on TV while you scroll through your text messages. The two of you were out in the backyard today, Joel mowing the grass while you did some sunbathing. The two of you are sunburned and sleepy from it.
Sarah and Charlie are in a club. The lights are low and colorful. The image is slightly fuzzy. Sarah is being held in Charlie's arms and she holds up a glass of something alcoholic judging by the way she's peering into the camera, mouth in a sloppy smile.
Looks like you're having fun!
Chapter c ch jjj JG da
Hah yeah, Sarah's drunk. Luckily Charlie looks in control of his faculties in the photo.
"Is that Sarah?" Joel asks his eyes catching the edge of your phone.
"Yeah."
"Lemme see," Joel says reaching for the phone. "She didn't send me a photo today, just a message about some museum."
He's fake pouting, irked that you've received something from Sarah while all he's had this week are texts. His brows rise when you pull your phone out of his reach, holding it against your chest.
"She's... This isn't a photo she'd want her dad seeing."
Joel's face immediately contorts into disgust and you burst into laughter.
"Not like that," you say between wheezes. "She's at a club with Charlie and they're both drunk. I don't know if she'd want her dad seeing her wasted."
"Yeah probably not," Joel relents after some thought.
It's the first time you've been the bridge between them. A spy working on both sides. It makes you feel funny, like its wrong that you love both of them. While your love for each is not the same in nature, they have both carved parts for themselves within your heart.
“Baby?” Joel murmurs from above you.
“Yeah?”
“I need you to know that I’m serious about you n’ me.”
You glance up to his face before pulling yourself into a sitting position next to him. Your heart melts as he gazes at you.
“Me too.”
“So I wanna tell Sarah about us,” Joel says quietly. “I don’t like lying to her.”
He must see the terror in your face because his hand falls over yours.
“Doesn’t need to be while she’s off havin’ an adventure. Don’t wanna spoil that for her. But she gets home soon and when she does, I wanna tell her. If nothing else about this relationship, we're at least gonna do this part right."
"It's too soon," you tell him with a flutter in your chest.
"I wanna hold you in my arms out in the open," Joel murmurs against your temple. "I'm tired of keepin' you a secret, like we’re doin’ something wrong. I love you and that ain’t wrong.”
You feel yourself turn to a puddle at his feet when he tells you that.
"I love you too."
"Sarah talked about coming back here before her job starts up," Joel explains. "Just for the weekend. I think I need to tell her then."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I'll invite her over for dinner and we'll talk."
"What if she's upset?"
"She probably will be," Joel says, sighing heavily. The thought of his daughter being upset with him churns his guts. They've been through so much together, but that's why keeping you a secret is so hard.
"But I can't keep lying to her."
"I know."
“So it’s decided,” Joel tells you, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “When Sarah comes home next week we’re gonna tell her.”
“Yeah,” you nod resolutely. “We’ll tell her then.”
///
There are few people in this world that Sarah Miller can depend on.
After her mother left when she was a toddler Sarah’s always had a feel of being forgotten. Of being left behind.
Her dad is someone she can depend on. Always there if she needs to talk, helping her set up furniture, there when her heart has been broken, there when she needed money or someone to help her buy a car.
He's a good dad. A good man.
And so when the taxi pulls into the driveway on Rancher Street Sarah breathes a sigh of relief at the familiar windows and freshly varnished front porch. A classic Joel move that he does every summer.
She’s several days early since she caught the earlier flight to surprise him. She can’t wait to see him after all these months away. She’s missed him and his silly jokes, his dumb DVD’s and the way he always listens as if she’s the most interesting person in the world.
One the few phone calls she’s made home he’s seemed different as of late. More spring in his step, more smiles, quicker to laugh. She figures it must be the divorce from Tess. The woman had never really understood Joel, even if she was perfectly kind.
Sarah throws her bag over her shoulder, heading into the house.
It’s not just the excitement of being home that has her almost three days early. It’s also because she just got the news that she was hired here at a clinic in Austin. One that pays well and offers benefits and makes her really really happy just at the thought.
Unfortunately during their time this week Charlie was offered a temporary position over in Santa Fe. An equally amazing opportunity and one that he couldn’t possibly refuse considering his other job fell through. Both of them had been glassy eyed as they realized their time apart would stretch well over six months.
"It'll go fast," Charlie insisted over dinner one night that Sarah was feeling especially down. "Six months is nothing. And then I'll be back in Austin and ... I think we should move in together."
Sarah thinks of her dad living in the house by himself and it breaks her heart.
No Tess and eventually, no her.
///
Your favorite thing about Sunday is that you and Joel take full advantage of it being his day off. You sleep in, tangled in each other's arms. You usually wake up to Joel's mouth on your neck, kissing gently before whispering your name and a raspy "you up, baby?"
He never does anything more until you confirm you're awake, and then he waits for you to take the lead. Sometimes it's a kiss to his cheek and the announcement that you want to go out for croissants at that new coffee shop you both discovered.
Sometimes you press your hips to his and urge him inside you, both of you rocking to a slow and sleepy orgasm. He holds you against his slumber-warmed body as he murmurs how good you are for him, how perfect you feel.
On Sunday afternoons you lay with your legs over his on the couch. He usually has a book in one hand, the other gently resting on your calf, tracing absently. You’re usually reading your Kindle, eyes wide when you come upon something surprising. Your breathing elevates and Joel always hears it.
"What's goin' on now?"
"She just found out she has to stab three faeries in the heart with wood daggers."
"Shit, really? Here I thought the whole puzzle-lever thing was bad."
There's something about his focus on you, the intense desire to learn everything you have to share. This support, this focus, it makes you fall even harder for him. It makes your eyes go glassy and unfocused.
He knows the look. It makes him close his book with a muted slap, dropping it beside the couch before he's tugging your pants down and burying his face between your thighs until you cry out, fingers twisted in his curls.
In the evening you cook together, something your parents never did. It’s usually something easy like chicken or pasta as the radio hums behind you. On nice nights Joel BBQs with you bringing him a beer as he smiles at you, commenting that he's spoiled rotten.
Then it's TV or a movie and then to bed where more often than not, Joel urges you onto his lap where he lathers praise all over your body as your hips roll over his.
Or if you're both tired he simply drags you into his arms and whispers how he can't believe he got this lucky, how happy he is, how beautiful you are. He touches you with affection and care and you repeat much the same, feeling as if your heart could burst.
It's perfect and quiet and peaceful and you've never felt like this. So safe in his arms, so protected.
This Sunday however is different. You wake up to an empty bed. You frown, sad not to feel the warmth of his body against yours.
Maybe he's making breakfast, you think. He does this sometimes, waking you with strawberry waffles. But there's no noise from downstairs, no lingering aroma of sugar and syrup. Its possible he’s working on emails for the business.
So you stretch languidly before pulling yourself from the warm nest of the bed. You brush your teeth, before padding downstairs. You hear shuffling in the kitchen and smile as you enter.
"Baby, let's go to that bakery, again" you croon sleepily sauntering into the kitchen wearing nothing but Joel's oversized Miller Construction t-shirt and your panties. "I wanna see if they have those cro-“
The second you see a figure standing by the sink the words die on your tongue.
“Sarah?”
At first Sarah doesn't connect the dots. She's confused to see you here at her house, her mind trying to connect the dots of why her college roommate is here at her house wearing her dad's clothes. For an insane moment she’s actually excited you’re here, thinking that you must have come here for her and she steps towards you, her smile bright.
Then she sees the look of absolute terror crossing your features and Sarah looks to the counter to see two emptied wine glasses probably from last night. She sees the small touches around the home like your jacket slung over the dining chair, a lipstick tube by the microwave.
She takes in how your hair is mussed, like you just woke up here. And then suddenly, belatedly, Sarah puts two and two together. She steps back from you as if you're a stranger who's broken into her home.
"What the fuck?"
"Sarah I can explain-"
Like some terrible farce, the front door is unlocked and pushed open at that very moment and Joel's voice rings out.
"I got coffees but they didn't have any of those croissants you liked from last time," Joel calls out to you, his voice turning teasing. "Maybe tomorrow if you're a good girl-"
Joel enters the kitchen with a smile on his face that immediately drains when he sees Sarah standing beside you looking horrified.
"Sarah?"
He drops the coffees he was holding, letting the steaming contents fall to the ground where no one attempts to pick them up. The drinks just seep it into the tile floor as the three of you cast eyes to one another.
Everything in you wants to run to Joel, to have him hold you during this awful moment. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. You were supposed to be prepared and respectful, not in the middle of some domestic fantasy with the scent of sex still clinging to the both of you.
And when you see the pure anguish in Joel's eyes when he looks at his daughter you want to vomit. In this moment you would take it all back. The fucking, the kissing, the loving, you'd erase it all if it means Joel never has to experience this pain.
He takes a tentative step forward to Sarah, blinking furiously for a moment as he steadies his breathing.
"Sarah-"
"What the fuck is going on, Dad?"
Joel's lower lip trembles as he thinks of how to explain this. But how can he without hurting her?
"Sarah I can explain," you stay, shrinking when she turns her suddenly furious eyes on you.
"Well, someone'd better."
You've known Sarah for years. She's been pressed, angry, frustrated. But you've never seen her like this. With the kind of fury that makes you shrink back from her. The kind of anger that radiates off of her and causes you to lose your courage momentarily.
"Y-your dad... Joel and I are seeing each other," you say wincing at how pathetic that sounds. "We're together."
Seeing each other? You're in love with him. He asked you to live with him. You want to build a life together. You want to marry him one day, even though you’ve never voiced it.
"You're seeing my dad," she repeats slowly giving a mirthless laugh. "You don't even know my dad."
"Honey," Joel says and you both glance up at him. You cringe as Sarah realizes this the same time you do.
"This is disgusting," she utters with a shudder. She looks at Joel with a look of absolute disbelief. "She's my age, Dad."
"I didn't-" Joel falters and he casts a desperate look in your direction before he's looking back at his daughter. "It's not an age thing."
"Right."
"S'not," Joel insists honestly.
She stops and you feel your stomach sink when recognition flashes across her anguished face. She looks over at you, grimacing.
"Joe," she says barely above a whisper. "That night I heard you at the bar you weren't saying Joe. You were saying Joel."
"Sarah-"
"How long has this been going on?" Sarah’s voice is up two octaves. "How long?"
"Christmas."
"Christmas?" Sarah looks ill. "You've been fucking my roommate in secret for almost nine months?"
"Sarah," Joel warns. "I know you're angry but-"
"I'm not angry!" Sarah insists. "I'm disgusted. You're like twenty years older than her, dad."
"Eighteen," you offer quietly. The dark looks they both give you assure you that your addition was unnecessary. And suddenly Sarah’s attention is on you, her fury focused on the woman wearing her dad’s clothes.
"I brought you here to my house after Conrad dumped you because you said you were so heartbroken and you fuck my dad?" Sarah seethes. "You make it so he gets divorced?"
"Tess and I were headin' that way for a while babygirl," Joel interjects. "Long before Christmas."
"Who made the first move?"
Joel and you exchange a look and it's your cheeks that heat and your eyes that drop to the floor.
"Me," Joel lies. You don't want to argue with him right now, but you both know it sure as hell wasn't Joel who started things.
It was you who forced yourself into his room. You who begged him to let you suck his cock. You who rode him, demanding his come. Joel had come around eventually, but there was no question on who initiated things.
"It was me," you insist. "I pursued him."
Sarah is staring at you with glassy eyes, chin wobbling and the sight of it devastates you. "I thought we were friends."
Now you feel your eyes growing damp. "We are-"
"Friends don't sleep with their friends dads!" Sarah insists and before you can answer she's whirled around to face Joel. "And what the fuck dad? Since when are you one of those midlife crisis guys?"
"S'not a midlife crisis," Joel explains.
"No?"
"No," Joel says sharply. "This ain't some casual fling. I'm in love with her."
Even though he's told it to you so many times, hearing him say it out loud to someone else has your eyes spilling over with tears. Fuck you wish you were holding him right now.
"In love," Sarah scoffs with a tremor in her voice. "Bullshit."
She spins quickly and before either of you can reply she's jogged out of the house, slamming the door behind her. The tears are in Joel's eyes along with a heavy dose of panic shot your way.
"I have to-"
"Don't have to explain," you urge him. "Go."
Joel nods and before he leaves he turns briefly, eyes cast to you. He marches to you and kisses gently and all too briefly.
"I love you."
And then he's gone, his body striding from the room after Sarah. Only once the door is closed behind him do you allow the sobs to escape.
///
Joel returns hours later to find you sitting on the couch, dressed and looking into space. You’ve packed all your things in your suitcase and duffle. Your clothes are clean and you try your best not to cry when you see him.
He looks exhausted, his eyes red-rimmed and puffy. You can tell he’s been crying, or trying not to, all day. He looks at you sitting there waiting and you see his brows saddle. You don’t go to him, don’t approach him. You wait for him to sit next to you on the couch.
“Come here.”
Only then do you launch into his waiting arms, letting him bring you into his lap. You straddle him, but it’s not sexual. You do it so that you can hug him tightly, your chests pressed together, hearts beating in tandem.
"She was coming home cuz she got a job out here," Joel explains, your head tucked under his chin. "She uh, she's wanting to move back home for a few months. Til Charlie’s back from Santa Fe.”
“Makes sense.”
You feel Joel swallow and you pull back, still seated on his lap facing him. He looks so lost when you gaze at him, hand coming to cup his cheek.
“What is it, baby?”
"She says she's not gonna come in the house until you're gone," he says with a tremor in his voice. You see the sheen begin in his eyes, the way he blinks it back rapidly.
"I don't know what to do," Joel murmurs.
"You know exactly what you have to do," you answer for him, sounding stronger than you actually feel. "She's your daughter Joel. She had your heart long before I did."
You both know that this is it. This is the end of your story. For Joel, Sarah's welfare will always be his top priority and if you're honest, you wouldn't respect any other choice.
"It's okay, I already packed my bags," you answer. Joel looks struck dumb, his brows knitted together.
"You did?"
"After I saw Sarah's reaction I just knew," you say sniffling, your fingers going to a stray thread in the collar of his t-shirt. You twist it around your finger, watching the blood pool in your fingertip. "There’s no way for this to go on without hurting her.”
"I think maybe ... Maybe if we give it a few weeks," Joel tries to reason, but you stop him with your fingers gently coming to press against his full lips.
"Joel."
You both know it won't be a few weeks. The damage done to Sarah is deep. You both know that just from seeing her reaction. You know that your continued presence here will only increase the divide between them and you know you can't do that to the man you love.
If she’d come home when she was originally planned there was a maybe it could work. If they’d presented it confidently, holding hands, a united front. If they’d explained it calmly instead of being found out and acting guiltily maybe there was a chance she would have come around. But now? After what she stumbled upon? You can’t say that you would be any different.
Your hand moves from his mouth to cup his cheek once more. The rasp of his beard tickles your palm as you hold him, gazes stuck on one another.
"It can't be over," Joel says, his voice thick with emotion. "I can't give you up. I just found you."
Your heart breaks at those words coming from the man who wants nothing more than to take care of you, to love you.
"You have to," you say, sniffling. "I never want you to choose between me and Sarah. It's an unfair ask."
You also know that he will always pick Sarah. He has to, he's a father first, your boyfriend second. You see it in the resigned way he clenches his jaw. It’s why you love him – that devotion, that love.
Joel falls silent a moment, his fingers tracing the small snowflake pendant you haven’t taken off since he gave it to you.
"But she has no right to be upset," Joel insists after a moment. "You're grown, I'm grown, we're both single-"
"You're in the middle of getting divorced and I'm your daughter's best friend," you tell him flatly. "And she found out completely by surprise that we've been together for months and that we'd been having an affair when you were married to Tess."
Joel is solemn. Hearing it all out loud sounds so harsh, so vulgar. But it's the truth and you won't hide from it. Your head is on his shoulder, cheek pressed against the soft fabric.
"She has every right to be upset. I would be if I were her."
And while it's true, it doesn't stop the hurt. It doesn't stop Joel from trying to think of an alternative.
"I could put you up in an apartment in town and-"
"And drain your bank account? Make you sneak around and lie to Sarah?" You shake your head gently. "I won't let you do that, Joel. And I won’t hide away like a dirty secret, terrified of being found out."
Joel’s eyes are shut tightly, as if he's trying to block out this entire day.
"We had months of happiness and love together and maybe we have to just be thankful for that." Your voice is quivering.
"S'not enough," Joel insists, his arms around your waist, pulling you against him. "I want you here with me. I need you."
Tears are falling down his cheeks at the same rate as yours. Even as your lips tremble and your view of him becomes a watercolor blur, you press on.
"Maybe this is what we have to live with after what we did, Joel. Maybe we don't deserve a happy ending."
This is what breaks Joel and you see the light fade from his dark eyes. You see the way his face sobers as you both realize there's no coming back from this.
You don't want to prolong this heartache. You want to go and cry somewhere private. You want to regroup.
"I'm gonna call a taxi to the airport hotel."
"I'm drivin' you."
"No Joel," you say, shaking your head. "I... It'll be too hard. I need us to say goodbye here and now."
You know that if he drives you you'll invite him into the hotel room. You'll fuck all night, making sorrowful promises, extending the pain. You need to sever it quickly.
Joel sniffles softly before nodding. His eyes are wounded, large and imploring.
"Can I call you?"
"I don't think it's a good idea." Even as you say it you feel your heart crumbling. "Not for a little while anyway. If Sarah found out..."
"Right."
You see the mixture of pain and frustration in his dark eyes. Your hands go to either side of his face, holding him, thumbs grazing his stubbled cheeks.
"Don't be upset with her," you urge. "She's done nothing wrong. And she loves you more than anything."
"I know." His voice is soft and you know that nothing in this world could make him care less for his daughter. It's one of the things you love most about him. You lower your hands from his face.
The two of you lapse into silence and finally Joel brings out his phone and presses it a few times. You crawl out of his lap and the two of you stand beside the couch. Joel murmurs a few things into the phone before hanging up.
"Taxi'll be here in ten minutes."
Joel brings you into his arms, holding you tightly to him and rocking back and forth. For the next ten minutes you hold one another, your face buried in his the crook of his neck.
"I'm never gonna stop lovin you," Joel tells you plainly, mouth against your temple. "Even if I never get to see you again. I need you to know that."
You want to say so much to him but your throat has closed up entirely. You want to thank him for loving you. Want to thank him for showing you what real love looks like.
He kisses you with the regret of years of his love unfulfilled. He kisses you with the desperation of a man who knows his time is up. He kisses you with all he has and then he releases you and now you find the words
"I'll love you forever, Joel."
Because you will.
He follows you onto the sun baked driveway, the two of you walking past Sarah in Joel's truck. You see her swollen, tearstained face and feel guilt start anew. You never wanted to hurt your friend like this. The only real friend you've ever had in your life. The loss of her friendship is its own kind of pain that burns deep.
Joel fights the urge to touch you, to kiss you again; you can sense it in the way he stands so close to you as the driver loads your suitcase into the trunk of the taxi.
"Goodbye."
He can't help himself. His hands go to either side of your face, holding you there as he moves his lips over yours, kissing you fiercely. You let him, your hands gripping his waist as he tastes you one last time.
When the driver gives a loud cough Joel pulls back, his eyes wet again. There are no words left. Only the sorrow of your dual gazes as his thumb strokes your cheek.
"Promise me you'll find someone who makes you happy," you tell him in a rushed whisper, holding him tightly. "Someone who makes you laugh and feel good and wants to have babies with you."
"I'm not-"
"Promise me Joel," you tell him firmly.
"Only if you promise me you're gonna find someone who treats you right," Joel all but begs. "No more fucking Conrad’s. No more boys that don't appreciate how fucking perfect you are."
"No one could ever love me like you do," you tell him through broken sobs and Joel wraps his arms around you. You go to wrap your arms around his waist until you see that Sarah is watching the two of you from the truck with a disgusted look on her face. You pull back from him, trying to summon all your composure.
Maybe it was always meant to end like this. Maybe it's exactly what you deserve for selfishly starting this all last Christmas. Part of you thinks that it’s not fair. That your love should overcome this. But then a larger part feels like it's what you deserve.
Happiness this wonderful doesn't deserve to last.
“Goodbye, Joel.”
Shielding your eyes from the sun you cast one last look at Sarah over your shoulder, hoing she sees that this isn’t some fling. Praying that she sees the love you and Joel have for one another as she bursts out of the truck and forgives you both.
But instead she glares furiously at you, making your stomach sink as you accept that this is the only possible decision.
You crawl into the taxi, pulling the door shut and give him the address for the airport hotel. You can't look at Joel but know that he's standing there staring into the cab.
As the taxi pulls away from the curb you finally tilt your eyes and watch as Joel's form grows smaller and smaller in the back window until he's nothing but a mirage. His voice stays with you though, even and tender and husky.
I’m never gonna stop lovin’ you.
You absently finger the silver pendant around your neck, musing darkly that snowflakes never last that long.
@fanficaddictmwah @southernbe
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#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#smut#joel miller#dad joel miller#fanfiction#fanfic#pedro pascal#bfdjoelmiller#joel x reader#joel fanfic#joel miller x f!reader#joel tlou
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What is your NUMBER ONE headcannon for each person in the Gaang (Katara, Zuko, Aang, Toph, Sokka, Suki [and Appa and Momo if you feel so inclined])
Katara: After the war, she goes back to the NWT to train with Yugoda and becomes a master healer as well as a master of the NWT fighting style. From there, she goes back to the Foggy Swamp Tribe and masters their bending style, too. With the help of Sokka, Zuko, and (in some headcanons) Hama, she also rediscovers SWT waterbending and not only masters it, but teaches it to the new benders in the SWT. By the time she leaves the SWT, there has been a school established where all bending styles are available for study. She's one of the few who actually has mastered them all, though.
Sokka: He is eager to return home after the war. He throws himself into infrastructure and policy revamps, and he almost singlehandedly staves off the soft colonization attempts of the NWT. Under his efforts, the SWT rebuilds and reestablishes parts of its culture that had been lost during the war. With the discovery of oil on SWT land, he is also instrumental in establishing eco minded extraction techniques, and in trade ties with the rest of the world (although he is very much helped by his sister's deep ties with the Fire Lord). It's a surprise to no one when he's chosen to lead the SWT after Hakoda retires.
Toph: She does not become a cop. Instead, she goes back home and takes over the Earth Rumble, taking it from an underground even to a world wide phenomenon. She eventually allows benders of other elements to join, and the Earth Rumble becomes pro bending. She does also establish a metal bending school. In the end, she is wealthier than her parents, but because she couldn't really care less about money, she keeps enough to live at the standard she wants, and gives the rest away to causes that interest her...like the guy who wanted to set the record for the biggest bao bun ever, and needed funding for an oven big enough to cook it. She also establishes a halfway house for runaway teens.
Zuko: During his tenure as Fire Lord, he establishes a robust social services program that includes subsidized healthcare, education, and housing for the lowest income families. Under his reign, the Fire Nation becomes home to some of the earliest pioneers of mental health. At his wife's advice, he also makes paid maternity leave standard across the nation, and includes several programs to help single parents stay afloat. Taking inspiration from the SWT, Zuko makes some changes to how his advisory staff is selected. Instead of choosing from among the nobility, Zuko has the different provinces elect a representative to speak on their behalf. A lot of the nobles hate this, blaming his wife's influence, but the people adore their monarchs and despite their best efforts, there's little the nobles can do except start campaigning in their home provinces. It's not a perfect system, but it does open the door for the Fire Nation to end the monarchy within a couple of generations.
Suki: She continues to lead the Kyoshi Warriors for a few years after the war. She also helps train troops around the world as they pivot from active war service to more local work. She helps establish something like the coast guards for several different countries. Eventually she retires from that to help her husband run the SWT. She and Sokka make a wonderful team as he handles the domestic policies and she handles foreign affairs. She often jokes with her sister in law, Fire Lady Katara that they ended up with the same job.
Aang: I'll go with my most optimistic headcanon for him. He's an okay Avatar. Not great. Not the worst. After the war, he tries to take part in rebuilding efforts around the world, but he finds his help isn't needed much. He turns his attention back to salvaging what's left of the Air Nomad legacy, and discovers that there are actually airbenders still around. A few of them are even interested in learning to live like the Air Nomads. Many of them aren't, though, and after learning how to actually use their powers, they go off and do their own thing. To Aang's shock and dismay, eating meat has no effect on the strength of their bending, He does learn to deal with it and enjoy his time with the air benders who embrace the Air Nomad culture. He does go on to have kids, and he still favors the benders over the nonbenders. Ultimately, his legacy as Avatar boils down to taking Ozai's bending, and that's it.
#atla#headcanons#katara#sokka#toph#suki#aang#anti kataang#zutara#sukka#katara has a statue#she also has hospitals and libraries and schools named for her
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The Spiders Sister - Chapter 4
Summary: Reader goes shopping with Pepper, Wanda and Nat. It ends a bit early though when reader starts to struggle with her senses.
TW: overstimulation, flirting, speeding, domestic fluff (hehe)
Words: 3.8K
A/n I changed the floor layout my bad. Also, I planned like 16 chapters of this fic so far and there will probs be more. Now i’m just worried I’ll end up loosing interest and not finishing it 😭 and I’ve been up since 2am. I slept for two hours 💀
After a dinner of pizza and other takeaway foods Tony had bought, Wanda and you headed back to the floor with Peters room.
Stepping out of the lift Wanda led you to where you had been staying for the past few days while Nat went ahead to your new room put sheets on your bed.
Your room would be on the same floor as Natasha and Wanda’s. It was also where Yelena and Kate stayed when they were in town as well as Carol when she was on earth.
You reached the door and headed into peters room. It didn’t take long to gather your things. You grabbed the backpack with some clothes in it, all of which were dirty by now as well as your tablet, computer and sketching supplies.
Once you had shoved most of it into the bag and had your laptop in your arms you followed wanda back out the door.
Despite your very comprehensive tour of the compound, you still didn’t know where you were going.
Wanda and you got back into the lift and set out for your new room.
The lift was filled with idle chatter as Wanda caught you up on the avengers love lives. Tony and pepper were together while the rest were still living the bachelor life.
Feeling a little bold you decided to ask her.
“What about you?” You asked. “Are you seeing anyone?” You clarified when she shot you a confused look.
“Not currently.” Wanda said studying the rarely used buttons on the lift. Jarvis often did all of that for you.
“Ok cool.” You said before stuttering. “I mean not ‘cool’ but its not uncool” you began rambling only cut off by the angelic sound of Wanda’s giggles.
Your cheeks were rosy as she smiled at you.
“Your cute when your flustered.” She said with a wink just as the doors opened and she stepped out. You were frozen for a second before gathering yourself and following her out half a pace behind.
As you trailed after Wanda down the halls she turned to look over her shoulder at you. “You coming sweetheart?” She asked and you nodded speeding up your steps to walk beside her.
As you rounded another corner she slowed. “This is my room.” Wanda said gesturing to a closed door. “And that’s Nat’s.” She gestured to the door next to hers. “This is your room.” She said walking down to the door halfway between Wanda’s and Natasha’s on the opposite side of the hallway.
The door to your room was open as Nat was sat on your freshly made bed with a grin.
“Wondering when you were getting here.” Natasha smirked making Wanda roll her eyes at her.
You stepped into the room. It was large with a king bed and huge windows that let in natural light, or at least it would if it was daytime. It was past evening now and almost nine pm. The New York skyline was just as beautiful, however.
You set your bag and laptop down on the desk before sitting down next to Natasha on the bed.
The walls were white and grey. There was a big desk near the windows and a bedside table on each side of the bed. A door was off to the side which you assumed led to a bathroom. There was also a second door which must have been a wardrobe. Other than a lamp on the bedside and a Tv mounted on the wall, the room was bare.
“We’ll get thing to decorate when we go shopping tomorrow.” Nat said almost as if she could read your mind. More likely she could read your expression and body language.
“Sounds perfect.” You said with a smile.
“Do you have clothes you can sleep in tonight?” Wanda asked and you shuffled your feet before looking up at her.
“Er… no?” You said.
“Are you asking me or telling me sweetheart?” Wanda asked coyly making a blush rise on your cheeks.
“Telling?” You said still sounding unsure of yourself.
“Very well then. I’m sure Nat and I can find something for you to sleep in for tonight.” Wanda said looking to Nat for her opinion. The widow nodded and you felt yourself relax slightly.
“Thank you guys. I wasn’t looking forward to wearing dirty clothes in a clean bed tonight.’ You said sighing in relief.
“Are all your clothes dirty?” Nat asked eyeing your backpack.
“Yeah.” You huffed.
“We’ll find you something to wear tomorrow as well then, just until we can sort out some new clothes and laundry. Sound good?” Nat asked and you nodded.
“Yes, thank you.” You said.
“No need to thank us darling. Your quite welcome.” Nat purred and you felt yourself resist a shiver as her words danced close to your ear. The hair on the back of your neck swaying slightly under her breath as your skin tingled with the heat of her words.
You swallowed trying to regain your composure much to both women’s amusement.
“T-thanks.” You stuttered.
“Already said that darling.” Wanda chuckled and your blush deepened.
“Your so easy to mess with.” Nat said laughing from beside you.
You just glared at them and went to take the things out of your backpack while Wanda and Natasha left to find some clothes for you in their cupboards.
You had just finished setting down the last of your art supplies on the desk when Nat walked in loosely holding a faded black shield T-shirt that immediately knew was hers from how worn it looked. It also looked to be almost two sizes too big for Nat, so you shot her a questioning look.
She shrugged. “Its comfier to sleep in when its too big, and it kept the other boys I trained with back in the day from being able to stare at my ass.” She said with a wink.
“Whats this about Nat’s ass?” Wanda said walking in with a sly grin as your cheeks heated and you buried your face in your hands with a groan.
You heard the two of them high-five and rolled your eyes.
“Here.” Wanda said and you felt the bed dip beside you.
Wanda was holding out a pair of red track-pants which you took with a smile.
A second later Nat threw the shirt at you with a laugh as it landed on your head. You pulled it off and glared at her.
“You’re a menace.” You declared and Wanda hid a giggle behind her hand.
“Sure thing sweet cheeks.” Nat said rolling her eyes. “Now it’s bed time kiddo.” She said and motioned for wanda to leave as well.
“Im not a kid Romanoff.” You said and she smirked at the use of her last name, having been able to get under your skin successfully.
Wanda cuffed Nat but she ducked and took off down the hall. Wanda rolled her eyes and sighed. “Ignore her, she’s been drinking too much coffee lately.” Wanda said and bid you goodnight before retreating to capture the other redhead and force her to sleep.
You grinned at the shut door like a lovesick puppy before shaking yourself out of it. You changed into the clothes which smelt like them and made you feel safe.
Sliding under the sheets and getting comfy, you listened to the hallways to see if anyone was coming back. When you were met with silence, you reached over your backpack and pulled out a small white stuffed teddy.
Curling up with it under your arm, you buried your face in Nat’s shirt and fell asleep thinking of the two pretty redheads down the hall.
The next morning you were up bright and early. Having slept well for the first time in weeks.
You found your way to the communal kitchen just in time to run into Natasha who was coming back from early morning training in the compound gym.
“Hi Y/n/n.” Nat said smiling as she went to grab a bottle of cold water from the fridge.
“Morning Natty.” You said with a smile.
“You're in a good mood.” Nat said looking amused as she took a big swig from the water bottle in her hands.
“Yep.” You said popping the P.
“Do you know if Wanda’s up?” Nat asked and before you could respond someone else did for you.
“I’m up.” Wanda said entering the kitchen.
“Morning.” You smiled.
“Morning Y/n. Who wants breakfast?” Wanda asked gravitating to the pots and pans in the drawers beside you.
“I’ll have some.” You said with a smile as you took a seat by the counter.
“Put me down for some too, I’m just going to go and have a shower before breakfast then we can head out ok?” Nat said as she refilled the water bottle and put it back in the fridge.
“Sounds good.” Wanda said as she began pulling things out of the fridge.
“Umm… where are we going today?” You asked feeling a little lost. Nat had already taken her leave for a shower so it was just you and wanda now.
“Don’t tell me you forgot?” Wanda said looking amused.
“Forgot … what? … exactly?” You asked.
“The girls shopping trip?” Wanda said.
“Oh yeah!” You exclaimed sitting up a little taller in a way that made Wanda’s heart stutter.
“So… how did you sleep?” Wanda asked.
“I slept well, how ‘bout you?” You asked watching as wanda beat the pancake batter within and inch of its life.
“Good, good. It’s a bit hit and miss some nights but last night wasn’t too bad.” Wanda said vaguely as she turned around the pour the batter into the pan.
After Nat returned and the three of you had eaten what could only be described as the best pancakes known to man, you got ready and headed for the garage.
Pepper was meeting you at the shopping centre a bit later after she sorted out some stark industries meetings this morning.
“You ready?” Wanda said putting an arm around your shoulders. You jumped in surprise making Nat laugh and Wanda frown.
“Too busy daydreaming there, Parker?” Nat asked with a grin, and you glared at her.
“No, just planning your murder.” You said with a wink before blow if her a kiss that made Nat roll her eyes at you.
“Alright, enough you two.” Wanda said giving you a small shove before punching Nat in the arm.
“Get in.” Nat said opening a door for you to the backseat and waving her hand toward the car's interior.
“This feels personal.” You grumbled as the two redheads took the front seat.
“It is.” Nat grinned as the engine hummed to life. You were taking one of Tonys’ many fancy, and very expensive cars. Nat’s favourite was the Bugatti La Voiture Noire, but it was only two seats, so you were left with the choice of a Mercedes Mayback or a Ford Mustang both of which had four seats.
In the end Nat had opted for the mustang and the three of you had piled in to head off.
With Nat driving you must have arrived in record time; it was no secret the redheaded assassin was a speed demon and Tony had begun framing her speeding tickets in the garage on the wall. The government always came to her aid if the police ever tried to take her license as it was argued she needed it to quote “save New York”
Of course, you hadn’t known this before hand and had let out a small scream as Nat took off at breakneck speed out of the garage.
One very fast car trip later the three of you were stood by the door the mall waiting for pepper to join you.
It had barely been five minutes before the last redhead showed up. Pepper was actually on time; Nat’s driving had just made you all early.
As pepper walked over Nat decided to tease her a little.
“Picking up on Tony’s habits there, pep?” Nat asked.
“Oh please.” Pepper rolled her eyes. “I’m the only reason he’s even at any of his meetings at all. Without me he wouldn’t just be late, he’d be missing.” She said and Nat laughed.
“True.” The assassin nodded.
“Alright, lets do this.” Pepper said smiling at you and Wanda.
The four of you headed into the mall. It was a little crowded but nobody seemed to mind. You just crossed your fingers that your spider senses stayed in check.
Pepper had barely made it ten feet in the door before she was dragging Natasha into a very expensive looking boutique.
This was how you spent the next hour. Pepper and Wanda dragged you and Natasha around, stopping at every pretty dress shop and expensive looking store in the complex.
After about an hour you were beginning to nurse a small headache and the tingle in the back of your mind told you all you needed to know for what was going to happen.
Nat had just stopped at a rack nearby before pulling wanda over to her. Holding out a dress you saw Wanda’s lips moving as she nodded, and Nat took the dress and disappeared into the change rooms.
It was a tight red cocktail dress and when Nat came back out to show it off you swear your jaw unhinged and landed on the floor.
It hugged her in all the right places.
Wanda was too busy ogling Nat to notice your reaction but pepper snorted a laugh before covering her mouth.
Nat pouted.
“What? Does it not look good?” Nat asked and you shot pepper a pleading look but she just smiled.
“No … no. I’d just say its … jaw dropping.” Pepper said winking at you as you glared at her with flushed cheeks.
“Yeah?” Nat asked raising an eyebrow and shooting you a look. “Then I guess I’ll have to get it then won’t i?” Nat said and you nodded eagerly. “Your lucky your cute Detka.” She said as she brushed past you on her way back to the change room. “Because your drooling.” She whispered in your ear and your blush darkened a good two shades of crimson.
Your headache was still getting worse and about a half hour later it was almost reaching full force.
You had found a dress and Nat was carrying four bags, one with a dress for you and her and the other three had a few random pieces of clothing for your day to day wardrobe and some room décor.
Just as you were beginning to think you wouldn’t be able to take anymore Wanda suggested the four of you get lunch from the café downstairs.
By now you were surprised none of them had noticed your discomfort, despite trying to hide it it was still bothering you.
The fluorescent strip lights that lit the mall were too bright and seemed to be burning your retinas with each blink.
The noise level despite not exceeding regular mall noise levels was almost deafening in your sensitive ears.
Even the mixed smells of fast food and perfumes was making your head swim.
Your headache pounded behind your eyes as well as almost throughout your full skull. There was a buzzing in your ears that sounded like the electricity in the walls that simply wouldn’t shut up.
Your stomach was rolling from the mixed smells and it was just too loud and too bright.
As you slid into the booth next to Nat, with wanda and pepper on the other side facing you, you resisted the urge to crawl under the table and cry.
Your headache thundered in your ears and pounded on your skull.
Your headache was in full force and Pepper must have noticed how quiet you were being as she looked you over with a knowing gaze.
She took note of your pinched brow and slightly sweaty forehead, how you were biting down on your lip and squinting. As well as how you flinched as someone in the café banged their cutlery against their plate.
Wanda noticed peppers look and was now looking at you too with a frown which drew Natasha’s eyes to you as well.
The conversation had reached a lull as all three women studied you. You were too zoned out to notice their attention all being on you.
“Y/n?” Wanda asked slowly.
“Yeah?” You said looking up and sounding absolutely wreaked.
“Are you ok?” Wanda said looking slightly worried.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” You said not even believing your own words. Your voice was lathered in a tired tone. You shook your head while saying this only managing to anger your headache more as you winced and brought a hand to your head, squeezing your eyes shut tight.
Feeling nauseous you leant on nat and rested you head on her shoulder. Nat seemed almost surprised at your sudden desire for contact.
She held you close to her as your body relaxed into her side having no more energy to hold yourself up.
“Y/n?” Pepper asked softly.
“Mmm?” You hummed as you vaguely heard shuffling before you sensed someone close to you.
Opening an eye slightly you saw pepper crouching next to you.
“Y/n?” she asked softly. “Do you get the same thing peter does honey?” Her voice stayed low and quiet. You turned your face into Nat’s neck and weighed up your options before giving a small nod.
You miss the frown that adorns Wanda’s lips at the news that something was wrong and pepper seemed to know what it was despite you never having mentioned anything about this.
Pepper stood again and looked over at Nat and Wanda.
“She’ll be alright. Just stay here and I’ll be back. I’ll explain in a minute.” Pepper said and she took off in a brisk walk to a nearby shop.
After pepper had darted off she wove through the crowd and into a tech store, making a purchase before making one more stop and then hightailing it back to the café.
When she returned you’s seemingly not moved an inch while Wanda and Nat were talking in hushed tones. Nat had her arm around you and was holdin the back of your head into her neck as you seemed to be almost trembling from all the overstimulation.
When pepper came back Wanda sat a little straighter while Nat eyes the two new shopping bags pepper was carrying.
Pepper came to crouch beside you giving you a small nudge that set your skin on fire.
“Y/n?” She asked softly. “Can you look at me honey, you can keep your eyes shut, I promise these will help.” She said coaxing you out of Nat’s neck.
You faced her with your eyes squeezed shut as she slid a black pair of noise cancelling headphones over your ears and switching them on.
The blissful sound of quiet almost made you cry as your headache lessened. A moment later you felt pepper place something on your face before cautiously opening one eye to find the world dimmer and more tolerable.
Now decked out with the headphones and sunglasses you felt a lot better. You were exhausted and the headache was still present just less intense.
You watched as Wanda, Nat and Pepper conversed, the sound not reaching you. Pepper seemed to be explaining what was happening to them based off the sad look wanda gave you.
Pepper explained that your powers increased your senses, and that in the right conditions they were very helpful in fights. But were more than problematic in a domestic setting. She explained that it wasn’t unheard of for peter to get overstimulated when out or somewhere loud. She went on to tell them she recognised the look peter had when he tried to simple tough it out when they went out.
Wanda felt awful that your powers had caused you pain.
Nat however was already planning to talk to tony about getting something built to help.
Once pepper had explained the extent of the issue and some of the things that helped, the three seemed to change gears, looking to be making plans now instead.
After they had finished talking Pepper decided to try something.
She turned to face you and moved her hands to form some simple signs. Your face lit up in recognition.
*How are you feeling? * Pepper signed.
*tired* you signed back.
Nat and Wanda looked surprised.
“How did you know she knew sign?” Wanda asked.
“Peter seemed to know some when he first was with us.” Pepper explained. “I assumed Y/n might also know some if peter did.”
You could tell what they had asked. “My dad was hard of hearing. He taught us sign at a young age before … he died.” You said and pepper nodded.
*We are going to go home* pepper signed but you shook your head.
*you stay here, I’ll go. I don’t want to ruin things* you signed.
*nonsense* pepper signed and you knew based off Nat’s eyes she was following along.
Nat had learnt sign language from Clint in the academy when they were partners. Clint had insisted in case his hearing aid were ever damaged in a fight.
You sighed realising you weren’t going to win this one.
*ok* you signed and hesitated for a moment before continuing. *thank you*. You signed.
*your welcome* pepper signed back and Wanda offered her hand to you.
Holding Wanda’s hand, the four of you headed for the car park.
You felt bad for ruining the trip, but Nat shot you a look when she saw you getting lost in your head that banished all thoughts.
Once you were in the car, Wanda had insisted on driving. Nat was riding with pepper to try and find out more about what was going on. You kept the headphones and sunnies on the whole ride home as you zoned out slightly.
Wanda droves slowly so she didn’t throw you around while Pepper and Nat sped back to try and organise things for when you get back.
When you arrived, you were almost asleep leaning into the passenger door.
Wanda coaxed you out of the car and led you by the hand up the lift and down the hall to her room.
You were beyond exhausted as Wanda lifted the sheets and got you settled under the thick comforter.
She ordered Jarvis to dim the lights and soundproof the room. She thanked Tony for the added features in her mind as she felt you snuggle into her side.
A few moments later the door opened slightly to reveal Nat and Pepper peaking in.
“Is she asleep?” Nat asked and Wanda studied your breathing.
“Not yet.” Wanda responded.
“Well we have some pain meds for her.” Pepper said as they both came inside and handed wanda a glass of water.
After coaxing you into taking some medicine, you laid back down against Wanda was was massaging your head as you melted in her lap.
Pepper and Nat had dropped by Bruces lab to pick up peters pain meds for you before coming to Wanda’s room where Jarvis said they could find you.
You fell asleep not long after taking the medicine which had finally gotten rid of your headache.
#wandanat x r#avenger reader#fanfic#wandanat#natasha romanov#wandanat x reader#wanda maximoff#marvel#comfort#fluff#whump#overstimulation#reader gets overstimulated#spider reader#spiders sister#y/n parker#peter parker#spiderman#pepper potts#tony stark#avengers compound#marvel comfort#natasha romaoff#spider senses#shopping trip#avengers#sign language#slow burn#chapter four#fanfiction
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no but like all gay chicken jokes aside… the stroopwafel video lives rent free in my mind because of how achingly tender it is. i mean max instinctively almost unconciously cares for daniel and craves his attention?? daniel’s immediate reaction was to bend down and eat the damn thing outta max’s hand instead of taking it like a normal person?? how the apron was obviously something the PR team shoved to daniel last minute just for something to do but max played it up so bad like giggles and oh this is lovely i will wear it in my kitchen??? and yes the poor oh dear bystander like how INTENSE was their chemistry at that point to make a random person go shit these bitches really be gays… unreal tbh
so tender! i've been thinking about this and the thing that hits most about the daniel/max dynamic, to moi, is that it all feels so worn in and familiar and domestic. like they really are two people who know each other and have gone through shit with each other and still ended up doing laundry and taxes with each other, you know?
daniel barely even bothering with the apron bit when he's usually the first to milk a marketing thing for all its worth. just kind of handing it to max, no gimmicks, no big smile, nothing. his soft voiced, "you're welcome" -- just so casual, so i've said this to you a thousand times when i went to get you a red bull and i will say it a thousand times more. versus max genuinely tweaking with excitement about daniel showing up unannounced. really going all out with the gimmick of it all because it's just more fun when danyul's there!!!! he has a beautiful smile and a good listening face when i infodump stroopwafel facts on him!!! i get to be kinda weird with him and he just goes with it!!! you can just see that they know each other and that they like each other so clearly. waaaahhhh
#no because the way daniel says you're welcome makes me feel so crazy unhinged#can't even really pinpoint why it just does#maxiel#ask!#max/daniel
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Another new tumblr page! Welcome welcome!
I was wondering your thoughts on some of the Bleach captains with a very petite s/o? Think like… 4’8 - 5’2 , teeny tiny lil things. Someone who “looks” frail at first glance. Is someone smaller their type? Would that factor into any pursuit? 👀 You can go into NSFW territory if you like, but I’d be happy with SFW too!
summary/ask: bleach captains with tiny/petite s/o! (height around 4’8 to 5’2 feet or 142 cm to 157 cm)
content warnings | manga spoilers!!, separated in sfw/nsfw, sfw- mostly fluff (a little bit of angst) and my personal opinions of them having tiny fem s/o, teasing, kissing and physical affection, mentions of kids and domestic life, i think that’s it for this part, nsfw - so smut of course (minors dni), fem! reader, neutral skin color reader, yapping too much about kinks ,size kink go BRRRRR, oral (receiving), different sex positions, wlw!!, overstimulation, breeding + pregnancy + kids mentioned, mentions after care + more…
a/n - #1 i am actually using tumblr last 3 years but i just recently got back into writing lol and you got my european ass to convert those feet’s and inches to centimeters, 😦 i am like 5’8-9 feet ( around 175 cm-ish tall) so please if i didn’t get a good point in this writing im sorry 😭, didn’t write for old man Yama, sorry not sorry honestly, he’s best grandpa tho <3
#2 also to say i wrote for captains in that picture (before tybw lineup) if you are interested in past/future captains please send me a request! i don’t mind doing them later on~ Toshiro is aged up (grown up/him using his complete bankai)!
SFW!
Suì-Fēng is interesting one since she is not the tallest one (as tall as 150 cm (4'11")) definitely so she is leaning more into taller or at least average sized ones. However i don’t think she minds someone around her height, they can get each other struggles and solve then like you climbing on her shoulders to get a food from a high cabinet in a kitchen or gets in a tiny space together comfortably, yeah i think she is content with it!
Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi would like to have someone dandy on his side, dressing you up in fancy clothes and accessories. Having you as his dress up doll at home~ (sorry this is dry, i don’t like his characters that much lol)
Retsu (Yachiru) Unohana isn’t that tall either being 159 cm (5'2½") tall but her terrifying aura so there is no one pick on you and definitely not her in entire Seireitei so that’s nice <3 However i see her personal preference is someone taller but she also doesn’t mind having “a puppy” following her in free time ;)
Shinji Hirako, this little shit of a man would tease you till a day you die, picking on you as you are just trying to do your job or just passing by, he would put just get your paperwork and lift it that his lanky ass could reach and stuck his tongue out at you, eventually giving in and giving it back with a playful grin and a kiss on a side of your cheek as a apology, saying he won’t tease you again and then teasing you AGAIN not even an hour later 🤦♀️
Byakuya Kuchiki would honestly prefer someone who is tiny imo, that has already been proven right since he was with Hisana who is most likely same size as Rukia so there is no doubt. As a head of a clan he likes the feeling that his dearest could rely on him in anything, call it whatever you want but it brings him a sense of something he lost once and he is not planning to lose it again.
Sajin Komamura is TALLEST one 288 cm (9'5½") so as i said he would be probably more found of someone taller or average sized…however! that’s doesn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy having you around, in both of his forms he would carry you bridal style at late night hours or when Seireitei is empty so you two could have your time without having a fear of being judged or made fun of because of your appearances.
Shunsui Kyōraku, this man hoe likes every woman. He is a proud women lover. He loves any shape, size and complexion in women, he would absolutely adore having you close to him anywhere, especially in his bed late at night as he brushes your wedding rings together :)
Kensei Muguruma is on a more neutral side since i can see him wanting a tall and strong s/o he can fight and train with, but something in me is telling me that he’s a traditional man, he likes to be needed and wanted, be able to stood out in front of you proud, strong and straight to protect you.
Tōshirō Hitsugaya would finally be relieved that there is another person that is small, he’s so mf tiny that you are just maybe slightly taller than him anyway, in his true bankai form he’s around Byakuya’s height so he just might indulge himself into telling you a slight teasing comment, yeah i think he would like someone tiny to match him-
Kenpachi Zaraki would have a smaller s/o without a need for you to be smaller than an average woman in height, he’s like tall-tall, strong and intimidating compared with every race anyway. However i do have a feeling that he would like to have someone so dandy and small like Yachiru since she is a practically a part of his soul so he is found of tiny and cute things. Since his little Yachiru left ( :( ) you had become one who would sit on his shoulder as you two have to go anywhere, imo he probably wishes that one day if you two had a little kid together that it would be little girl who is his eyes is a little Yachiru who you two take care of, but this one have a little eyes just like yours and he likes that very much <3
Mayuri Kurotsuchi, this is weird one because i can see him not really having a type? He barely likes anyone, yet your tiny ass got underneath his skin and now you are here for him. Following him as you two raise Nemuri together, you 3 now looking like a real family!
Jūshirō Ukitake :( gosh i love him so much, anyway he is so nice with you, since you both are physically not very strong, it would make it easy but he fears he couldn’t protect you in time because of his fragile body :( yeah, can definitely see him with tiny s/o <3
NSFW!
Suì-Fēng - i think she loves classic scissoring as you two play w each other’s clits, can’t go well with that one and also, just sit on her face when she’s angry and don’t you dare to put only 10 percents of your body weight on her, fucking sit on it like a chair and let her spend her big mouth on a good job between your legs~
Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi - into Dacryphilia, absolutely loves when you get all pretty and dolled up especially in tiny dress, Pretzel Dip or missionary as you cry from overstimulation, looking so ruined and perfect just for him <3
Retsu (Yachiru) Unohana - man, if you haven’t died when she showed a 8 inch strap up your vagina and fucked you like she hate your guts you are good 👍 anyway, she fucking loves when you ride her or when she puts you in a mating press, absolutely filthy as she splits in your mouth you just because. ( she had a secret breeding kink but shush 🤫 don’t say you heard it from me, also i got some trans!Unohana thoughs, anyone interested in hearing it? comment down please!)
Shinji Hirako - he’s such a meanie in bed too ☹️, i mean he would literally yank you back by your ankle and continue giving you head with his pierced tongue, gosh the overstimulation is crazyyyy with him. Absolutely loves snuggling after it and his hand sliding on your side gently as it went to tease your kitty cat AGAIN-
Byakuya Kuchiki - he must be in love w you if he brings you to his bed so missionary or any position where he can see your face and kiss it is a must, he makes love with you and genuinely only fuckes you if he is jealous or mad, probably have a savior kinks/hints of it sometimes + soft kisses down your back as he praises you after 🥹
Sajin Komamura - (human version) when you two have sex he can’t help but to have a need to make you his because of wolf genetics in him so pretzel dip or prone bone are his favorite positions to make your tiny mind mindless as he might just cums inside if you especially in spring 🤭
Shunsui Kyōraku - loves cowgirl/any version of it so he doesn’t have to do too much at least at the start, see you bouncing on top of his cook as it’s tip bullies your cervix is a fever dream, pressing against your lower back or tummy just for your pussy get a death grip on his dick, isn’t fully interested in pulling out so pregnancy is inevitable sooner or later my dear 🫡
Kensei Muguruma - he is a simple man so he goes doggy or full nelson, fucks to fucks and myb slightly into bondage?? absolutely makes you squirt by fingering you, hate sex??? he absolutely demolish your poor pussy if you flirt w Shinji or Rose, he will kiss your forehead after it tho <3
Tōshirō Hitsugaya - (grown up version) doesn’t have that high of a sex drive but he adores you so he indulge into your horny cravings of him, loves spooning or Scissoring (just mlw) so he can kiss your shoulders or forehead as he for sure makes you cum couple of times at end of the night, secretly loves cookwarming but shushhh 🫢
Kenpachi Zaraki - actually fuckes you in every position possible and everywhere you can imagine, loves stand and deliver (The Bicycle position) as he is chocking you while pounding into your tight kitty, your bodies only stability is his arm that you are gripping for dear life and yes, he isn’t pulling out since he say so <3
Mayuri Kurotsuchi - doesn’t have that high of sex drive but he would absolutely make you deepthroath his length if you are bratty enough, probably some doctor/patient roleplay, people of Seireitei are scared to see his genuine smile if they see a little girl with both of your features??
Jūshirō Ukitake - my sweet man can only had cow girl/variations + missionary sex position with you so he doesn’t finish too soon, absolutely PERFECT with his fingers and has a praise kink so absolutely praise the living shit out of him as you make love underneath the moonlight all night long so he can be happy <333
#bambi’s ✍️#bleach#bleach x reader#bleach x you#bleach x y/n#bleach imagines#sui feng x reader#rojuro otoribashi x reader#retsu unohana x reader#yachiru unohana x reader#shinji hirako x reader#shinji x reader#byakuya kuchiki x reader#byakuya x reader#sajin komamura x reader#shunsui kyoraku x reader#shunsui x reader#kensei muguruma x reader#kensei x reader#toshiro hitsugaya x reader#toshiro x reader#kenpachi zaraki x reader#kenpachi x reader#mayuri kurotsuchi x reader#jushiro ukitake x reader#ukitake jushiro x reader
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sometimes, it's hard to be good
pairing: joe liebgott x reader
genre: fluff, conversations about life
a/n: horrendously self-indulgent, but i hope you enjoy.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
“I don’t think I’m a very good person,” you blurt.
“The fuck?” Joe says, confused.
It weighs on your shoulders like a stack of bricks, a truth that sends your mind into a frenzy. Joe noticed it a few days earlier, the way you started to cook, and wash the dishes, despite the half and half system you both have. The letters you sent to check-in on old acquaintances, despite them having never bothered with you. Your choice of books, a sudden affinity for self-help that you shove into your most hidden shelves.
“Are you having a fuckin’ identity crisis or somethin’?” Joe stopped you, just as you were about to take care of both his and your laundry for the third time that week. “Or do I pick up the chores too slowly, ‘cause I can do better.”
“No! No!” You said, a little flustered, then laughed to cover it up. “I’m just doin’ it all ‘cause I care about you.”
He kissed your forehead then, a little unsure. Truth be told, the overcompensation stems from the lack of doing enough–or at least, feeling like it. Joe is your other half, and he picks up well on his half too. If you cook, he will clean. If you do laundry once, he’ll take care of it next (even if he tends to mix the whites and the colors). But the insecurity seeps into your head like poison, the misbelief now running through your blood, and it makes you shoulder more than you actually can.
You slowed down too, because you realized the need to feel like a good person is inherently selfish. To really be good comes from the choices you make, and sometimes, the greater good requires you to be the villain.
Right now though, that’s all mixed up in your head, which means you feel like a piece of shit.
“Where’d ya get that idea?” He asks, now setting Dick Tracy down to pay you full attention. “Is someone tellin’ ya that shit? ‘Cause I’ll kill a–”
“It’s me,” you interject, shaking your head as you slap your book to your chest. “That's what I think.”
Curiosity washes over, as he furrows his eyebrows together and stares at you as if you’re dumb. The both of you are sitting on your balcony, the sun shining streaks of light across his face, and you wonder if you’re worthy of a man as strong and beautiful as him.
The summer today is glorious, a little sweat trickling down your temples, but better than the way your nose freezes in the winter. Joe and you have made this a routine every Sunday, afternoons spent outside in each other’s company, to catch up on some reading. Your little apartment faces the San Francisco life, and even if the stench of running gas is discomforting, it’s still home. For Joe, it’s homeostasis; a reminder that the war is now behind him, and the domesticity you both have always dreamed of, is now real.
Today though, in the pits of your overthinking, you’re hardly reading the words as you scan the pages.
“Hey,” he gently probes. “What’s goin’ on up there?”
His fingers are creeping towards yours fiddling with each other on your lap.
“I,” you start, but find it difficult to reason. When his hand slips into yours, squeezing it in encouragement, you continue, but not without a sigh. “I found a photo from when we were in high school, and…I realized how many of them I don’t talk to anymore. Friends that have drifted apart, friends that I’ve cut off, or they’ve cut me off. It got me thinking, really thinking, about all the decisions I’ve made, all the people I’ve loved and lost, all the mistakes I’ve made and it all crashed down on me like I hit a brick wall head-on with your cab.”
You stop mid-thought, paying a good look at him listening intently to you, eyes a twinge downcast.
“It made me think that maybe I’m not doing enough, or I’m doing nothing right. That I’ve been selfish, and I have this urge to uproot my entire life and start afresh,” you finish.
He looks into the distance, fingers still entwined with yours as he collates the rush of thoughts. It makes his heart ache to know that you feel this way, because to him, the world owes you for your kindness. But he admires the way you know when it’s time to abandon your good and patience, because it fails to be returned.
“Joe?” He hears you call.
He speaks. “If that’s your logic, than all of us are fuckin’ shitheads.”
You gawk at his response, sputtering, “what do you mean?”
“Sweetheart,” he says, then turns to you unflinchingly. “I spent three years shooting Krauts just ‘cause I could. I did what I was told, convinced myself that I’d be doing the world a favor. Those were actual fuckin’ choices I made, and now I have to live with ‘em in my head.”
“But,” you say, “those people were shooting at you Joe.”
“Not all of ‘em,” he says, shaking his head. “Not all of ‘em.”
A silence falls over you both. It never occurred to you how difficult it is to actually be good–to make the right decision all the time. Even the sun, with its daylight to the skies, streaming into people’s homes to wake them up for another day, blinds you if you look at it for too long. It burns when you get too close, blazes ‘til there’s a drought.
We are all made up of imperfections, after all.
“We fuck up,” Joe adds, quietly. “Hell, we fuck up with each other too, ain’t it?”
“Yeah, I guess,” you smile, “you caused all my whites to go pink last week.”
“Hey,” he lets go of your hand to smack you. “I bought ya your favorite cookies at Betty’s to make up for it!”
You can’t help the laugh that breaks loose of you, despite the heaviness in your chest. In an infinite list, one of the reasons you love him is his ability to pull you out of your own mind, and make you laugh ‘til tears pool in your eyes.
“Seriously though, we ain’t bad people just ‘cause we fuck up. We’re shitheads if we don’t try to do better,” he says, his hand on your thigh, rubbing his thumb in circles. He throws his other hand up, the comic falling onto the ground. “I try everyday to be a better fuckin’ person, but I slip up. You will too. But at least ya try, you know?”
You know he’s right. Like the chocolate cookies he bought for you to make good on the clothes he ruined; like the moments you apologize to each other in petty fights, and figure out a way to make things better–even if you falter, all there is to it, is taking the next step. So even if you still worry, you can at least do that. And what better than to have Joe Liebgott by your side, a man who will never speak anything less than the truth.
“Baby steps, right?” You nod.
He nods, standing up, walking to you and pulling you to your feet. He slips his arms around your waist, as you cross yours behind his neck, pecking you once, twice, and you’re about to make out with him on your balcony–
‘Til a blaring honk from the road makes you jump apart.
“Fuck!” He yells at the road, and you wince, but with amusement. “I’m tryna get some, okay!”
This time you swat at his shoulder, as he guffaws, starts leaving kisses on your neck. You melt into him.
Baby steps, definitely.
“Oh and sweetheart,” he breathes against your skin, and you hum. “You’re the best fuckin’ person I know on this planet.”
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
@she-wolf09231982 a little snippet of Joe :D
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Hi huge fan of your art!
Suggestion idea: domestic movie Hayffie?
Somewhen during the 74th
#i am not sure this is domestic but it is something#first phisical friendly contact in 10 years of collaboration ladies and gentlemen#I imagine haymitch just popping out of nowhere while on the sponsor launge#anyway I like them#that’s the most domestic they can be in my mind#maybe sharing cooffe but you know#they were still on tights during the 74th#walking side by side is already a lot#hayffie#effie trinket#haymitch abernathy#hayffie fanart#thank you btw! compliments are always appreciated
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I've gotten accustomed to reading Jack's childhood skip as a narrative hand wave so he can function on more or less the same level as the other characters and since he's not human and we're watching supernatural it feels permissible to take that leap in logic and go ahead and read him as a young adult. He is highly naive and inexperienced and there is a very large power imbalance involved with him and his caretakers and those are core aspects of his character that make him uniquely vulnerable to the abuse and trauma that he suffered, but those things don't necessarily make him an infant and I don't think that's how he's meant to be read.
#but i dont mind if others feel differently bc it is a gray area and it IS interesting to consider the nuance of his development#like my personal gripe with baby!jack is that its generally *boring* in application#but ive seen the concept used in interesting ways#most obvious harm ive seen come out of jacks infantilization is when people are accused of shit for finding this adult man attractive#regardless of your perspective on jacks age i think most can agree that thats pretty harmful and i see why this is such a contentious area#especially when like 40% of jack content is baby!jack domestic destiel fodder#BUT we should also be able to engage with good faith perspectives about this without going straight to accusations of ableism#the fantasy elements involved mean that there is no clear cut answer here#idk maybe ill change my mind about some of this im just dumping my thoughts here right now#jack kline
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staring up
pairing: io/estinein
word count: 900
note: this wasn't actually supposed to be sad but io's tragic backstory leaked in. inspired by this cute art of cartoon ducks.
Mor Dhona is surprisingly cold tonight; a northern wind blows down from Coerthas and carries the promise of snow. Tataru spent the day decorating the Rising Stones in shining Starlight baubles, and Ephemie mulled enough apple cider to fill even the farthest reaches of their base with the scent of cinnamon.
Winter is around the corner.
The chill in the air does nothing to deter Io's plans. She waits by the aetheryte, wrapped in a thick fleece blanket and holding two steaming mugs of cider. Neither warmth compares to the giddiness burning in her chest.
She's early, impatient to see him. If she has to guess, Estinien will account for this. And maybe she hopes, just a little, he's longed to see her too.
The air before her shimmers and sparks white-blue, and there he is, not at all dressed for the weather but wearing a knowing grin.
Estinien strides the few paces between them, kisses her temple (too far from her lips), and says, "And here I thought you might surprise me, Io."
The retort about the measurability of his own actions is lost as he takes a mug and her free hand. "Now, where are you taking me for this "star watching?""
"Gazing," she corrects. "And there's an overlook not far from here that should be perfect. This meteor shower is expected to be one of the most active Eorzea has seen in some time."
They exit the settlement, carefully balancing their drinks as they climb the rocky ridge. Jagged crystals poke through the soil at odd angles, glowing softly along their path. It's less than arduous, but their hands remain entwined until they reach their destination.
The cliff is unassuming from the main road, secluded enough that they won't be disturbed. Estinien slows as they near the precipice, caught off guard by the view. The land below them, around them, is alight with crystals echoing the same bright blue as the Crystal Tower stretching into a cloudless sky speckled with winter constellations. Silvertear Lake reflects it all like a dark, glittering mirror, marred only by the silhouette of the Agrius and Midgardsormr coiled around it.
Io tears her eyes away from Estinien's surprise in time to catch the tail of a meteor streaking across the sky.
"Come." She tugs his hand. "Let's sit."
They settle down just before the cliff's edge, Io sitting between his legs, her back against Estinien's chest. She's turned slightly to make conversation easier, and one of his knees bends upward to support her. The blanket wraps around their shoulders, not wide enough to fully cocoon them both. Neither complain; the wind whipping across the overlook is an excuse to inch that much closer.
The shower starts slowly, a lone star winking across the heavens here and there, but soon the night sky is radiant with them. They point one out, following its sparkling descent only to miss the next.
Io sips the last of her cider and places the empty cup next to Estinien’s. Her hand falls to his raised knee. "Do they wish upon stars in Ishgard? Or is it considered blasphemous?"
"Blasphemous? Against what?" Estinien meets her eye, and his confusion is earnest.
"The Holy See's church. Or perhaps the astrologians don't like it. I'm not sure, Estinien, but Ishgard is not exactly whimsical."
His laugh is rough and short as his fingers twist into her hair. "Is Dalmasca?" He watches her watching the sky. The attention is welcome and comfortable.
"More than Ishgard, yes." She nudges him with her elbow. She thinks to tell him about decorating her village in a whirl of color for summer festivals that lasted days, or racing from tree to tree with her siblings, grabbing ripe fruits along the way as a prize for the winner. Perhaps, the evenings when the entire community gathered to eat, sing, and be together because they could?
She goes quiet in his arms, thinking of her last day in her homeland. Loose dirt flying into the air with each explosion. Red all around her, fire and blood. The fear in her younger siblings’ eyes, even as they looked at her with unconditional trust, and the gnawing in her gut that, in the end, their trust was misplaced. That last day makes all the other memories too sore to share. She tries to keep the ache out of her voice. "I can't account for the more recent changes."
“Look at me,” Estinien says, and she does. His expression is serious, his eyes soft. “We are far from that place. Those places. The scars serve as a reminder of what was lost. They prove, too, that wounds do heal. We’ll talk about our first homes someday.”
Io bites her lip to stop her eyes from watering, and she nods. Her face turns to the sky and the beautiful lights cutting across deep blue, but her attention is on Estinien’s arms pulling her into his warmth. His chin is on her shoulder, and he kisses her jaw. She reaches up to stroke his cheek, and he sighs into the touch. They’re quiet for a long time.
So long, in fact, that the meteor shower slows and Io assumes it’s reached its end. One last star bursts to life, brighter than most of the others. This evening's incandescent punctuation.
"You should make a wish before it goes."
He squeezes her tightly.
"Let it go. I have no need."
#azia writes#io laithe#io/estinien#love to post a fic at 1am and run#ANYWAYYYYYYY i'm sick and ill about them#i feel like i'm swinging wildly out of character but like. estinio's whole vibe is comfy domestic softness and a sprinkle of healing#plus it's always that good shit when one of them is sort of grumpy or short with most other people but just. a puddle for their love#and i like to think they're both far more open with each other than they can be around other people#but there are still some things they can't talk about. even if they understand#idk idk I'M JUST SHRUGGING. they're spinning violently in my mind what else am i meant to say#BYE
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is hard to talk about without feeling like im projecting but idk. maybe i’m just mad bc i feel a certain kinship to characters who are somewhat... uncouth. like don’t get me wrong, i love grace and class and the thrill of thinking about having money and power but also like... i truly think there’s value and a lot of comfort in someone... you can truly characterize to be................ normal and weird.
like ig just.. one of the reasons turning toji into a sex god feels so off is bc i honestly see a lot of potential in using him as a comfort character who understands pain vs. as someone very... rudimentary / only good for one thing. DUNNO.
#and like of course u can talk about canon bc thats good too but like. in a reader insert sense where u make the characters fit ur needs#kinda#like when u want something domestic unrelated to............ narrative purposes#it's hard for me to express without revealing too much#and normally id just draft this post (maybe i still will) but its been on my mind so heavy lately#and i do wanna talk about it#but it's like when ppl say 'omg i love bakugo but i always feel he wouldnt like me'#not that i believe that bc bakugo would like u#but there is a nervousness that is created with a character like him#versus.#toji... dabi... idk kirishima... megumi by extension... are all people u can relate to on a more human level#deku too#because they just have weird home lives#and its always seems more easy to be around people who have struggled in very baseline ways#(rather than someone like bakugo who has struggled but more with... overcoming himself vs. his circumstances)#idk#this is about growing up poor lol but i dont really know what im talking about#i havent even met toji yet everything im saying abt him is such bs#still… it stands like most comfort headcanons do#dunno#anyway i also wanted to say i was gonna stay up late to answer asks but my mind is cooperating so i am just gonna go to bed#NOT cooperating i mean#i am gonna answer old stuff DONT WORRY i just need to like.......... warm up and get back in the groove slowly#like getting into a hot tub#so good night eventually#sorry to dump this all on u#im tired tho so no common sense#not writing#caitie thoughts
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The USAmerican imagination cannot consider land that is multi-purpose.
A corn field is Corn, an endless monoculture, and all other plants must be eliminated. A residential area is Houses, and absolutely MUST NOT!!! have vegetables or fruits or native plant gardens or small livestock. A drainage ditch is only a drainage ditch, and cannot harbor Sedges and native wetland plants, A sports field is for A Sport, and let no one think of doing any other event on that field, shops and storefronts must have their own special part of town that everybody has to drive to, which requires parking lots...and God forbid we put solar panels on roofs or above parking lots or anywhere they can serve an extra purpose of providing shade, instead of using a large tract of perfectly fine land as a "solar farm."
Numerous examples. But it is the most annoying with agriculture. The people who crunch all the numbers about sustainability, have calculated that a certain percentage of Earth's land is "Used up" by agriculture, which is troubling because that leaves less "room" for "Wilderness." It is a big challenge, they say, to feed Earth's humans without destroying more ecosystems.
Fools! Agriculture is an ecosystem—if you respect the ways of the plants, instead of creating monoculture fields by killing everything that moves and almost everything that doesn't. Most humans throughout history, and many humans today, sustain themselves using a mixture of foraging and agriculture, and the two are not entirely different things, because all human lifestyles change the ecosystem, and the inhabitants of the ecosystem always change themselves in response.
Even if you are a hunter-gatherer that steps very lightly in the forest and gathers a few berries and leaves here and there, you are being an animal and affecting all other parts of the ecosystem. By walking, breathing, eating, pooping, drinking, climbing, singing, talking, all of those things affect the ecosystem. If you gather leaves to sleep on, that affects the ecosystem...if you pile up waste, that affects the ecosystem...if you break a tree branch, that affects the ecosystem...if you start a fire, if you create a small shelter, if you cut a path, that DEFINITELY affects the ecosystem.
This idea, that human activity destroys the ecosystem and replaces it with something Else, something Not an ecosystem, is so silly. "But you just said that even the earliest most technologically simple human societies altered their environment!"
Yes, I did. Because we believe that "pre-agricultural" humans could have no effect on their "wilderness" environment, we ALSO believe another false idea: That when humans affect an environment, they destroy "Wilderness" and change it to something else, like Agricultural Land, that can never have biodiversity and never benefit many life forms.
I think it is the European idea of agriculture that it always involves people settling down and relying on a few special plants that are domesticated intentionally and grown in specially dedicated fields. After all, this idea of an agricultural lifestyle, is in contrast with the "hunter-gatherer" lifestyle, which is assumed to be what humans do before they "figure out" agriculture. The European mind imagines "pre-agricultural" folks ignorantly bumbling about, thinking plants and animals conveniently pop out of nothing for their benefit.
Bullshit! I shake my head in disappointment when I see websites describing Native Americans using wild plants as if those plants just-so-happened to grow, when those same wild plants just-so-happen to thrive only in environments disturbed by humans in some way, and just-so-happen to have declined steeply since colonization, and just-so-happen to be nonexistent in unspoiled "Wilderness" locations, and (often) just-so-happen to have an incredibly wide range where they either once were or are incredibly common, making it very...fortunate that they just-so-happen to have a wide range of uses including food, medicines, and materials for clothing and technology.
Accidentally of course, without any human impact from the humans that were impacting everything. /s
"But if it wasn't an accident, how did it happen?" Here is how to understand this idea: Look at the weeds! The weeds will teach you.
Look at the plants you always see growing without being planted around human buildings and roads, and learn their history. Often you will learn that these plants have many marvelous properties, and have actually been used by humans for thousands of years.
In fact, some of the most powerful and difficult to control weeds, were once actually some of the most essential and important plants for human civilizations to depend on. The dreaded Kudzu, in its home in East Asia, was one of the main plants used for clothing for over 6,000 years, and not only that, it has been cultivated for food and medicine for millennia. You can make everything from paper to noodles out of Kudzu! And Amaranth, the most expensive agricultural weed in all the USA, produces edible and healthy grains as well as several harvests of greens per growing season, and several species of the genus have been fully domesticated and formed a staple crop of Mesoamerica.
Meanwhile...some people have come up with this neat "new" idea called Polyculture, which is where you plant a field with two crops at once and somehow get better yields from both of them. WITCHCRAFT! Unrelatedly, there are other ideas like "Cover Crops" and "Agroforestry" that for some reason have the same beneficial effect.
Wow...It turns out, sterilizing the whole environment of every plant except one crop...isn't actually a good way to do agriculture in many places in the world.
Just think about it from an energy point of view...
We have some places used for "Agriculture," where we wring the land as violently as possible to squeeze green vegetation from light energy.
And we have other places for Other uses, where we spend massive amounts of fossil fuels mowing, chopping, poisoning and trimming to STOP the land from producing its incredible bounty of green vegetation.
And in the agricultural fields, we spend even MORE resources killing the unwanted plants that grow spontaneously
This system is hemorrhaging inefficiency at both ends. It simply isn't a one-to-one conversion of land and fossil fuels to food energy. The energy expenditure of agriculture is mostly going into organizing the vegetation's energy into the shape and configuration we want, not the food itself.
In the Americas, indigenous agricultural systems involve using the plants that exist in the environment to construct an ecosystem that both functions as an ecosystem and provides humans with food, clothing, and other important things. This is the most advanced way.
Most of our successful weeds are edible and useful. A weed is simply a plant that is symbiotic with humans. My hypothesis of plant domestication is that it was initiated by the plants, which became adapted to human environments, and humans bred them to be better crops in response. Symbiosis.
Humans did not pick out a few plants special to intensively domesticate out of an array of equally wild plants, instead they just ate, selected, and bred the plants that were best adapted to live near human civilization. That is my guess about how it happened.
Just think about it. Why would you try to domesticate teosinte (Maize ancestor?) It sucks. Domesticated plants in their wild form are usually like "Why would you put hundreds of years of effort into cultivating this?" Personally I think it's because the plant grew around humans and humans ate and used it a lot because it was abundant. So we co-evolved with the plant.
Supporting this hypothesis, there are many crop plants that mutated and evolved back into weeds, like "weedy" rice, "weedy" teosinte, and "weedy" radishes. Also weeds develop similar adaptations to crop plants to survive in the agricultural environment.
Consider Kudzu. Everyone in the USA knows it as an invasive weed, but since ancient times in China, it was a crop that provided people with fabric from its bast fibers, food from its enormous starchy roots, and many medicinal and other uses. Kudzu is not evil, it simply has a symbiotic relationship with humans, and just as any other species might serve as a biological control, the main biological control of kudzu in nature is the human species.
Think of the vast fields and mountain sides of the South swallowed by thick mats of Kudzu covering lumps that used to be trees. Think of the people toiling away to clear the Kudzu, while wearing clothes made of cotton that was grown in a faraway place using insecticides and depleting fresh water, using energy from their bodies that came from crops grown in fields far away.
Now imagine people working to harvest the Kudzu, to cut the new vines and dig up the starchy roots and use the plant the way it is used by the people who know its ways. Imagine the people using the starch from the Kudzu root to make flour and noodles and sweet confections. Imagine workers processing the vines into thread which is woven into fabric. The hillsides and fields flourish with plants that used to be suffocated, and hillsides and fields in faraway places also flourish with their own plants, instead of being made to grow cotton and crops to provide for the needs the Kudzu provides for.
Imagine the future where we accept our symbiotic relationship with the plants!
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tw - kidnapping, manipulation, mentions of physical abuse, and prolonged imprisonment.
You learn quickly that Nanami is significantly more bearable with he's playing house.
It should've been more obvious, in retrospect. If you hadn't been so terrified, so desperate not to fall into your captor's domestic delusions, you might've been more able to catch on more quickly, to realize how much softer he was when you treated him like a loving husband, rather than an obsessive stalker who had the nerve to roll his eyes when you asked if he had anything for you to wear that didn't involve bows and frills. You were slow on the uptake, but then again, he wasn't the kind of man who wore his heart on his sleeve.
His reactions weren't exactly more pronounced when your aggression started to fade, when you realized that he could barely take care of himself, let alone another person. You were skittish, eager to get in and out of the kitchen before he came home, and he was stoic, offering little more than a nod of his head and a muttered 'thank you' when he came home to find a bare-bones meal on the table or his constantly neglected apartment just a little cleaner. It took weeks for him to come to you directly; his suit jacket in one hand and spare button in the other. It should've only taken a minute to mend, but your hands shook so badly that it'd ended up taking ten. He watched over your shoulder all the while - smiling so softly, you'd been able to convince yourself that it was just your imagination.
You pretended that you didn't mind being with him, that the idea of being his stay-at-home hostage didn't make your skin crawl, and in exchange, he let you watch an hour of T.V. once a week, told you how your family and friends were dealing with your sudden disappearance. It wasn't a fair trade, but it was a trade - his domestic bliss for a handful of basic privileges, his happiness for the illusion of your freedom. When you can build up the courage, when you've recovered (or, recovered as much as you can, anyway) from the last time he bent you over his knee, you press for more. And sometimes, it works.
"I missed you," he mumbles, burying his face in the crook of your neck. His strong arms are wrapped around your waist, his posture hunched to accommodate the disparity between your heights, and you can feel warm breath on your skin, his deep voice reverberating against your throat.
"Welcome home," you say, because he doesn't like it when you lie and 'I missed you too' might've been the most dishonest thing you could've said. "You should sit down. I just started on dinner, and--"
You pause, cursing under your breath. Nanami is tired enough or kind enough to take the bait. "Make me a list." He pulls you that much closer before straightening his back and kissing your cheek. "I'll run to the store. It's the least I could do, for the only person who manages to keep my head on my shoulders."
You let a second of silence lapse between you, then another. "You know," you manage, eventually, just as Nanami starts to detangle himself from you. "Most couples spend as much time together as they can."
You can practically hear his smile. "You want to go shopping with me?"
"...am I allowed to?"
"Of course." He says it like he hadn't kidnapped you. Like he hadn't kept you locked in his sterile apartment for the better part of a year. Like he hadn't taken you by the neck and promised he'd be the only man to ever touch you again every time you questioned his intentions.
There's another kiss, this one to the corner of your jaw. Just when you think your heart might beat out of your chest, he adds, "As soon as hell freezes over and curses go extinct, I'll take you wherever you want."
You might've cried, if you didn't know how much he loved wiping away your tears.
Sometimes, it works.
Most of the time, though, he chooses to remind you whose game you're playing.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jjk imagines#yandere jjk#yandere nanami kento#nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#yandere nanami#yanderecore#yancore
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in which: alhaitham resorts to lying on top of you in order to get you speaking to him again.
quick alhaitham thought i needed to get off my mind, making out at the end lol, potentially ooc
there were a lot of things you didn’t expect when entering a relationship with alhaitham. you didn't expect him to have kaveh as a roommate, you didn’t expect him to overthrow the government, and you didn’t expect him to resort to pettiness in order to end the silent treatment you were giving him.
it’s suffocating beneath him, squished into his soft mattress with his body weight, muscles wrapped around you like a python whilst one arm is extended outwards, balancing a book. you wonder if he’s actually reading it, but you can tell he’s enjoying himself regardless, evident through the way he often turns his head to place a kiss on your exposed collarbone, burying his face into your warmth from here to there.
for the umpteenth time, you grunt, losing your mind just a little. his body warmth was getting too much, and you’ve been lying here for who knows how long, just staring at the ceiling of his bedroom.
you want to protest, berate him for flattening you before shoving him off, but that would mean surrendering, and this time, you want alhaitham to be the one to give up first.
as if hearing your thoughts, your grey-haired lover then glances up at you, sleepy gaze filtered through messy strands of hair that have fallen in front of his eyes. you almost cave at the domesticity of it all, only just stopping yourself from brushing his bangs away.
“still upset?” he murmurs, putting his book face-down to wrap his arms tighter around your torso. “fine. have it your way, i’m going to nap.”
“no-” he perks up at the sound of your voice, raising an eyebrow as a mask of smugness gleams over his face. you shut your mouth immediately, cursing at yourself to slip up so easily, but you really needed to stretch out your legs and the other discomforts of lying like an unmoving plank beneath alhaitham.
“what was that?” challenges your boyfriend. you don’t answer him, merely staring him down as he sits back, grabbing your wrists. “oh come on, i know you want to say something, out with it.”
shaking your head, he scoffs at your stubbornness as if his isn’t just as frustrating, and gently caresses your hand. his touch is tantalising, urging you to give in, and paired with that lidded look of his, it’s practically impossible not to.
not many people get to see alhaitham like this, you realise. most know him as an indifferent, closed off, and unapproachable scribe, turned grand sage, turned scribe, yet you get the honour of seeing him as this. “talk to me already,” he demands gently, not letting his grip waver even as you keep trying to pull your hands away, only slipping away so far before he’s holding you again.
there aren’t many battles you can win against him, you know that, and one of them was a battle of strength. as he holds your wrists tight to your sides, his face so close to yours, you feel his earlier playfulness melting into something sincere.
“are you still mad?” asks alhaitham, furrowing his eyebrows slightly as a pout appears along his lips. the response you give him is a petulant turn of your head. he sighs through his nose. “i’m sorry, okay? i was out of line, i should have listened to you, alright?”
his tone is uncharacteristically kind and warm, warm enough for you to give in to his pleas.
“you mean it?” you tease, grinning widely at him. in the blink of an eye, the tension from alhaitham’s shoulder seeps away like sand, and he sighs with relief before agreeing, a solid ‘yes’ slipping through his mouth. “then i accept your apology.”
“you minx, enjoying the sight of me like this, aren't you-” he murmurs, and you swallow his brewing snide remarks with a kiss, closing the gap by firmly pressing your lips against his. alhaitham is not surprised by your sudden affection. rather, he welcomes it, melts into you wholly as a hand holds the back of your neck to keep you against him. you're warm and precious and everything he could ever desire, so he can't help but let his hands wander, searching for more.
as your mouths slot together, there’s a delicate exchange of apologies that words cannot express; ironic, since alhaitham knows of several ways to apologise in a multitude of languages. nevertheless, he thinks that this is the best method.
with the way you move in sync with him, he can tell that this is your favourite too.
© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
#vibe check kinda fic for him#the way i am literally seething biting my hand and lips to try and not let the end escalate#alhaitham x reader#al-haitham x reader#al haitham x reader#genshin impact x reader#alhaitham fluff#al-haitham fluff#genshin x reader
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weakness
gojo satoru x reader
summary: you make the strongest sorcerer weak
w/c: .54k
tags/warnings: domestic fluff with a suggestive ending so 18+, gojo is irrevocably in love with you, the feeling is entirely mutual, gn!reader, no use of y/n
a/n: we truly do not deserve him
masterlist
check out my latest work for gojo here
there isn't a single sorcerer in all of japan unfamiliar with the name gojo satoru. he's known that since he was old enough to understand the innate techniques etched into his body.
and what a lonely existence it was. being the strongest leaves you with little else besides power.
perhaps that's why he finds himself so utterly consumed by you— the only thing in the world that makes him feel weak.
whenever your eyes find his own, his hands tremble. and whenever you give him that crooked grin, his knees nearly collapse beneath him.
he can't even begin to understand it. how someone like him could be lucky enough to belong to someone like you. he knows that a million lifetimes of effort would still leave him pathetically undeserving.
that's probably the reason he hesitates before entering your shared apartment each night. he wants nothing more than to come home to you, and yet, fear tugs in his heart at the prospect of it all having been some long, drawn out dream.
how else can he explain walking into the kitchen, finding you there covered in flour, looking impossibly beautiful? how else can he account for the way your face lights up upon seeing him?
"hey love," you greet him warmly and your voice feels like the answer to every prayer he's ever had.
his long, strong arms wrap you up in an instant, his face burrowing into your neck.
"hey," he breathes out, the heat fanning across your skin.
"'toru," you warn. "you're going to get flour all over your uniform!"
"s'okay, baby. i don't mind."
it's only when you move to hug him back that he fully relaxes against your body.
"how was your mission?"
he doesn't answer right away, reveling in your comforting embrace for a few seconds longer.
"it was alright," he offers, untangling himself from you and standing back up to his full height. "missed you."
"i missed you, too." you peer up at him, your eyes swimming with adoration. his heart clenches painfully at the sight. "but i made your favorite!"
you turn on the oven light, so he bends down for a glimpse at the pastry that's nearly finished baking.
his expression softens and he grabs your face in his hands, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone delicately. "how can i make you understand how much i adore you?"
despite the heat that creeps up your neck, you let out a breath of a laugh. "'toru it's only a pie."
he hums, "made just for me by my most favorite person in the world."
your lips curl into that lopsided grin he loves so much before you stand on your tiptoes to kiss him. he deepens it, his arms finding your waist and tugging your body towards his own possessively.
after a few moments, he pulls away just enough to plant a kiss to your nose, then your forehead, and finally both of your cheeks, savoring the way you giggle at his show of affection.
"okay, i think i'm starting to understand, but i might need just a little more convincing."
he gazes down at you with a smirk, the look in his eye suddenly mischievous. "yeah? maybe we can make another pie together, princess."
"..'toru!"
#m!writes#gojo#gojo x reader#gojo imagines#gojo fluff#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru imagines#gojo satoru fluff#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk imagines#jjk fluff
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Homemaking, gardening, and self-sufficiency resources that won't radicalize you into a hate group
It seems like self-sufficiency and homemaking skills are blowing up right now. With the COVID-19 pandemic and the current economic crisis, a lot of folks, especially young people, are looking to develop skills that will help them be a little bit less dependent on our consumerist economy. And I think that's generally a good thing. I think more of us should know how to cook a meal from scratch, grow our own vegetables, and mend our own clothes. Those are good skills to have.
Unfortunately, these "self-sufficiency" skills are often used as a recruiting tactic by white supremacists, TERFs, and other hate groups. They become a way to reconnect to or relive the "good old days," a romanticized (false) past before modern society and civil rights. And for a lot of people, these skills are inseparably connected to their politics and may even be used as a tool to indoctrinate new people.
In the spirit of building safe communities, here's a complete list of the safe resources I've found for learning homemaking, gardening, and related skills. Safe for me means queer- and trans-friendly, inclusive of different races and cultures, does not contain Christian preaching, and does not contain white supremacist or TERF dog whistles.
Homemaking/Housekeeping/Caring for your home:
Making It by Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen [book] (The big crunchy household DIY book; includes every level of self-sufficiency from making your own toothpaste and laundry soap to setting up raised beds to butchering a chicken. Authors are explicitly left-leaning.)
Safe and Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair by Mercury Stardust [book] (A guide to simple home repair tasks, written with rentals in mind; very compassionate and accessible language.)
How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis [book] (The book about cleaning and housework for people who get overwhelmed by cleaning and housework, based on the premise that messiness is not a moral failing; disability and neurodivergence friendly; genuinely changed how I approach cleaning tasks.)
Gardening
Rebel Gardening by Alessandro Vitale [book] (Really great introduction to urban gardening; explicitly discusses renter-friendly garden designs in small spaces; lots of DIY solutions using recycled materials; note that the author lives in England, so check if plants are invasive in your area before putting them in the ground.)
Country/Rural Living:
Woodsqueer by Gretchen Legler [book] (Memoir of a lesbian who lives and works on a rural farm in Maine with her wife; does a good job of showing what it's like to be queer in a rural space; CW for mentions of domestic violence, infidelity/cheating, and internalized homophobia)
"Debunking the Off-Grid Fantasy" by Maggie Mae Fish [video essay] (Deconstructs the off-grid lifestyle and the myth of self-reliance)
Sewing/Mending:
Annika Victoria [YouTube channel] (No longer active, but their videos are still a great resource for anyone learning to sew; check out the beginner project playlist to start. This is where I learned a lot of what I know about sewing.)
Make, Sew, and Mend by Bernadette Banner [book] (A very thorough written introduction to hand-sewing, written by a clothing historian; lots of fun garment history facts; explicitly inclusive of BIPOC, queer, and trans sewists.)
Sustainability/Land Stewardship
Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer [book] (Most of you have probably already read this one or had it recommended to you, but it really is that good; excellent example of how traditional animist beliefs -- in this case, indigenous American beliefs -- can exist in healthy symbiosis with science; more philosophy than how-to, but a great foundational resource.)
Wild Witchcraft by Rebecca Beyer [book] (This one is for my fellow witches; one of my favorite witchcraft books, and an excellent example of a place-based practice deeply rooted in the land.)
Avoiding the "Crunchy to Alt Right Pipeline"
Note: the "crunchy to alt-right pipeline" is a term used to describe how white supremacists and other far right groups use "crunchy" spaces (i.e., spaces dedicated to farming, homemaking, alternative medicine, simple living/slow living, etc.) to recruit and indoctrinate people into their movements. Knowing how this recruitment works can help you recognize it when you do encounter it and avoid being influenced by it.
"The Crunchy-to-Alt-Right Pipeline" by Kathleen Belew [magazine article] (Good, short introduction to this issue and its history.)
Sisters in Hate by Seyward Darby (I feel like I need to give a content warning: this book contains explicit descriptions of racism, white supremacy, and Neo Nazis, and it's a very difficult read, but it really is a great, in-depth breakdown of the role women play in the alt-right; also explicitly addresses the crunchy to alt-right pipeline.)
These are just the resources I've personally found helpful, so if anyone else has any they want to add, please, please do!
#homemaking#homemaking resources#gardening#urban gardening#self sufficiency#self sufficient living#sustainability#sustainable living#homesteading#nontrad homemaker#nontrad housewife#urban homesteading#solarpunk#cottagecore#kitchen witch#kitchen witchcraft#crunchy to alt right pipeline#book rec#book recommendations#resource#long post#mine#racism tw#racism mention#transphobia tw#transphobia mention
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