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visionsofmagic · 9 months

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Hello

Could I get a song lyric story with Billy Butcher with either song lyrics #1 or #13

Fluffy or sexy your choice.

⎯ better than him. [billy butcher – 1/2]

྾ summary: being denied by your crush, you find yourself at the door of butcher, only to get better since his your only company but it ends different than you thought. ྾ lyrics: #1, A little bit older. A black leather jacket. A bad reputation. Insatiable habits. He was onto me, one look and I couldn't breathe. Yeah, I said, “If you kiss me, I might let it happen.” ▸my oh my, camila cabello; #13, I could be a better boyfriend than him. I could do the shit that he never did. Up all night, I won't quit. Thinking I'm gonna steal you from him. I could be such a gentleman. Plus all my clothes would fit▸boyfriend, dove cameron

wc: 1.4k ྾ notes/tags: fluff, mentions of nsfw content (a little) – part 2 will be the nsfw one, reader discovers inner facts, kind of mean butcher, kissing, biting, confessing, nicknames, cursing. ^^ ALSO, lots of thanks to @butchers-girl for the request! 💌 I know I made you wait for a while but I hope this one will make you happy. enjoy! *lots of kisses and hugs* [masterlist]

“You look like shit.” He says, rolling his eyes at your mess yet he leaves his door open behind him to let you in after he understands you are waiting in front of his door for a while now from the way you sit on the ground, no tears but sadness washing over your face.

“Yeah, got it from you.” You tease even though he can make you leave his house anytime soon. A voice tells you that he will let you because contrary to his common cold manner, he’s soft – for you. This was the reason, maybe not the main one, you came to him after feeling so down due to having a crush, ex-crush now, who said how he could never imagine liking someone like you. Well, it shouldn’t hurt but it did and you had only Butcher to make you feel good since he was your only close friend.

“Stop being a brat,” Not using the word ‘cunt’ with you, no, you were so delicate to hear that, Huggie wasn’t though. “I let you in, yeah, be grateful.”

Following him into the couch, you put no mind to the mess of his house. You know he nearly comes to his house and today was your lucky day that he finally came. You watched him as he took off his black leather jacket, only leaving with a black sweater, making him look more mature and older – he’s indeed a little bit older than you, enough to make you watch him for a while before he remarks with a smirk on his attractive and cocky face, “Liked what you see the princess?”

Rolling your eyes, you look at the closed TV in front of you and hide your face from him – probably already understood how he made the heat rush to your face. You knew you were like an open book for him – he knew you maybe more than you know yourself, and that was another reason you came here – not the main one still.

“Just open the TV.” You say after seeing your own reflection on the black screen of huge TV; you have a messy posture while he’s looking so good as always. His wide open legs make you focus on there for a moment before catching his eyes on the reflection, seeing how he smirks and puts his left arm on the couch’s edge, right above your shoulders, caging you with his body like your small body, comparing to his bigger one, means nothing.

Without saying anything, he opens the TV, some ads playing while he drinks a bottle of beer which you didn’t see until that moment. How he got that even? “Want some?” He asks, pointing to the bottle.

Shaking your head positively, wanting nothing but forgetting about everything, you take the bottle from his hands, fingers brushing into each other. Feeling hotter each second beside him, you take a few gulps of cold beer and put your head on the edge of the couch, making his arm behind you a pillow for you to sleep on. Closing your eyes, you say after a moment of peaceful silence – something you like about Butcher; he always knows when to talk or let you go while being in silence. “He said he would never be with someone like me.” You leave a sad chuckle, feeling insecure even if you want to deny it.

It takes a few seconds for Butcher to say after you feel his piercing gaze on your face. How you wish to open your eyes and watch his beautiful eyes, attractive face, and sharp gazes but you can’t – not yet. “I said that he was a bastard, didn’t I?”

Opening your eyes, you look at his face, rolling your eyes at his cocky attitude inside your brain. “At least say something – uplifting you cocky bastard.”

Your swear makes him smirk, shrugging, he points to the door, “You can leave if you need a fucking therapist, ya know. I ain’t one.” Knowing he will not let you leave, you chuckle, drinking the remaining part of the beer as he watches your face, not even taking any permission to do it – he doesn’t need it anyway.

“Rude.”

“I speak the facts darlin’, the cunt is a bastard, so, let it go. Not worth it.” – Not worth crying, not worth thinking about his words but it’s nearly impossible when his words flow in your system like venom and you want Butcher to make you find your own medicine for it – you know your worth but still, being a broken one now, you need him.

“Butcher,” you say, taking his full attention on you because your voice comes so low, revealing how bad you are feeling right now. “What’s the meaning of ‘someone like me’? Am I that bad? I am, right?” You leave another weak – sad chuckle, making Butcher swear to the guy before looking at you deeply, with sympathy and affection on his expression.

“Fuck the guy,” He says, his arm behind you now holding you by the shoulder, pushing you closer to him, his hot breaths hit your face. “Fuck them all, y/n, you don’t need them to see your worth.” Surprised by how he talks – so openly, you become breathless because of both his words and the proximity between you.

Putting your right hand on his bearded cheek, you say, “Being soft now, are we?” Teasing him makes you giggle.

“Only for you, darlin’.” He confesses, leaving you surprised at his words. Looking at him, you gain great confidence by the way he looks back at you, and your hand moves on its own, caressing his beard as one of his hands find your back, pushing you closer to him, earning a low, “Butcher –“ utter from you.

“Yes, love?” He asks; a cocky smirk on his attractive face. Rolling your eyes, you leave a chuckle, playing the game he’s up to.

“Will you show me my own worth? In your eyes –“ You say, trying to understand his motives; just to take away your sadness or express something he wants aloud. You know that if this moment, he kisses you, you will let it all go, and like he hears your own thoughts, he smirks, holding your cheek with his free hand, pulling you closer until your lips touch his – fireworks blow in your stomach at the sudden but waited, for a long time, action.

First, you stay without moving, then, when he bites your lower lip to get your blank mind working again, you let a soft moan out, closing your eyes, and you kiss him back – as passionately as he does. Lips trying to eat the other’s lips, hot tongues enter each other’s mouth. As you and Butcher kiss each other as your lives depend on it, the world under your feet seems to be disappeared, only leaving Butcher and his presence knowledgable to your mind – reality. He’s neither fast nor slow with his actions. He acts as if he knows every nerve of you, which to push, which to pull, which to touch.

He slowly, and gently – contrary to his common attitude, rises, making your back touch onto the surface of the couch. Pushing your legs apart with his knee, he finds his place between your thighs, hands positioned on the left and right sides of your head. You can’t help but feel small against his big body, not that you complain, not when he breaks the kiss – both of you need air, a necklace which you gave him swing, you pay attention to it for a moment before looking at his eyes, seem to have more sparkles now. “At the end of the night,” He begins, sounding both confident and assuring, “You will know your own fucking worth, doll,” He kisses your lips again, rough this time, leaving red marks on them due to biting. He’s so possessive, you can see that. “The most precious girl – my girl is the most precious girl. So fucking precious. That cunt – oh, that cunt will kick his own ass after he finds out what he missed, I’m telling ya – ”

“Butcher,” You say before holding his necklace and pulling him into you powerfully. You need him now – more than anything, and you know you have needed him for a long time now. “Just forget about him and kiss me. I only need – you.” He smiles, genuinely, then, the smile turns into a devilish smirk, leaving you breathless.

“Damn sure you need me. Will make sure the only man you can think of will be me at the end of the night, my girl.”

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booksandpaperss · 10 months

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How Stranger Things (poorly) handles racism as a topic compared other heavy topics it successfully tackles

before we get started, I would to direct you all to some other accounts who have already discussed this that you should check out either before or after reading this post: @wewebaggit @googoogagaeyes @elekinetic and anyone else please feel free to tag yourself or another account that’s discussed this and I’ll happily boost it

Content Warning for in show examples of racism and discussions of racism, as well as mentions of homophobia and the AIDES epidemic

. While we're discussing historical accuracy in stranger things and homophobia + ignorance being present even in well meaning characters, I want to point out that if the writers of the show weren't so squeamish about addressing racism in any in depth way, than this type of historical accuracy would be for racism too.

what I mean by this: in this sense, the show is not consistent. It's clear that the writers have done their research on 80s homophobia and how openly prevalent it was, if the AIDES allegory in season 2 and the way homophobia was very clearly present in seasons 1 and 2 (it still is in seasons 3 and 4 but the first 2 seasons showed it in the scope of the entire town), but racism was just as overtly prevalent, and yet the writers have neglected to address it in the same thoughtful and coded way. if the show was just as consistent about racism as it is about homophobia, than the white characters would be at the very least shown as ignorant just like the straight characters are.

and I'm not going to say that it's completely ignored, because that's not true:

-in season 2; mike makes an ignorant comment that implies Lucas should have been Winston because he's black, and Lucas calls him on it. There's also the very racist undertones (that are practically overtones) of Billy's treatment of Lucas. -There is almost nothing in season 3 except for a jokey joke when Nancy says the whole party is her family and the receptionist, who is a black woman, gives Lucas a skeptical look.

-Season 4 is a little better, with the implications (key word: implications, I'll come back to that in a moment) of Lucas's season 4 arc being that he was trying to fit in because he didn't want to be racially targeted and bullied for being a nerd at the same time anymore, that he felt like even more of an outsider compared to the rest of his otherwise all white friend group who, as far as he knows, are all cishet and giving him shit for wanting to lessen how much he's perceived as an outsider because he's automatically seen as even more of a "freak", and his friends just weren't getting it because they were white and ignorant. So the writers aren't blind to race and racism.

However. None of the examples that I've just listed are addressed later in any in depth way; not like the homophobia is. The only one that's even remotely delved into instead of simply being glossed over is Lucas's s4 arc, and even that is still very flitted around and left up to interpretation of the audience.

The writers seem to have a very "hit and run" sort of policy with addressing racism. They clearly know they should, and they at least seem to know that having a black character in an 80s setting with a cast of mostly white characters inherently creates a lot of racial subtext-

-for example, the very loud subtext of Jason (a white boy much older than Lucas) seeing Max (a white girl) in a trance alone with Lucas (a black boy) and immediately assuming the worst + Jason's white friends tackling an 11 year old black girl to the ground: subtext that I'm still not sure if the writers and directors were even aware of bc they never addressed it and their track record isn't great-

-but they hardly do anything about it.

I'm not surprised, considering this show is headed by two white men, but what really gets me is that they all truly could have tried harder. Like I said earlier, it's clear they've done research and put thought into addressing homophobia (it still could've been handled better but that's an entirely different conversation), and it's evident from Max's s4 arc that they also did research on Depression, PTSD, and the impacts on someone of their abusive family member dying. So the lack of care and thought put into addressing racism in the same way is clearly more than ignorance (which would still be bad, when you're writing a show this big in 2023 with topics like this you're actually, shocker, responsible for making sure they're addressed properly, ignorance is a choice at that point), its just fucking lazy. they don't care. And this not caring is inherently harmful on a show this big and frankly, I'm tired of so many viewers and people in this fandom straight up ignoring this fact, just like the show runners.

And I haven't even covered the complete lack of effort put into Patrick's backstory, or the fact that Erica is very much the sassy, mature for her age black girl stereotype (she deserves so much better). Oh, And we can’t forget the copaganda.

I'm glad that season 4 started to explore the dynamic between Lucas and Erica and expand on both their characters, and from the looks of things that will continue in season 5, so the writers have a chance to do their research, actually put effort more effort into the sinclair sibling’s characters, and improve, and I'm hoping they will but as of right now I don't trust them to, and won't unless they prove me wrong.

TDLR; the main issue is that Stranger Things is clearly a show that addresses topics like depression, abuse, homophobia, and racism, but the racism part is neglected compared to the others, just like how Lucas and Erica's characters are handled poorly compared to the white characters,. it's lazy, horribly insensitive, and racist in and of itself. There's a clear bias, and even if it improves in season 5 we still should be talking about it, and more white people (yes white queer people included, we are not exempt from this discussion, if anything we should care just as much about it as when we’re talking about homophobia) in this fandom need to start listening when black and brown people do talk about it instead of just waltzing through and ignoring it for your own peace of mind.

also I should clarify that I myself am white, I made sure I did research before making this post in order to talk about this accurately and consciously, but if I made any mistakes or said something insensitive or used an incorrect term or anything else, feel free to correct me and I will readily fix it

as a final note: please check my rebligs of this for links to more posts that talk abt this issue

#also I know this is a lot of text I’m sorry I tried my best to format it but it’ll be way easier to read on desktop than on ur phone #stranger things #stranger things analysis #stranger things fandom #tw racsim #elli talks stranger things

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vampworks · 8 months

Text

Starved of you

Pairing: Billy Loomis x Fem Reader x Stu Macher

word count 1.7k

No use of y/n

Summary: The reader is dragged to Stu's party by the girls to fix Sid's relationship but She is in a secret relationship with Billy and Stu. She is here to break it off but gets distracted by Billy while he becomes obsessed with her. He struggles with his feelings for her and how she affects the plan.

Warnings: mention of alcohol and drug use, cheating(not on the reader), mention of murder, toxic behavior, intimacy

-------------------------------------------------------

Music blares through the room threatening to shake the house itself. The air was stuffy and crowded her senses. She couldn't seem to care as Tatum dragged her by the arm through the door. The blonde soon disappeared into the crowd following Sid afterward. This was the night she set things right before the world as she knew would crumble. Dramatic, but what else equates to sneaking around with your best friends behind their girlfriends' backs? A masked serial killer fits into this somewhere, maybe it was karma for what got her here in the first place. The plan was simple, break it off with them both, leave early and everything would go back to normal. Getting Stu and Billy alone for something serious was always a difficult task. Pulling off your own arm seemed easier. She decided to settle it one at a time. Billy would be easier as the other would only tease her endlessly for it and she'd end up in his bed again.

Stu's eyes grew wide as he spotted her in the crowd of sweaty teens. He shoves his accomplice harshly in the arm. Subtlety be damned, he thought, Hell was about to raise for everyone. "Dude...Dude..we got a party crasher.'' Billy rolled his eyes still turning away from him. "Like you care, they'll run like everyone else. He scoffed. ''Yeah maybe but dumb and dumber will follow too" Stu whispered. Billy thinks for a moment before it clicks. "The hell you mean, man? She's not coming. Her parents....." It was Stu's turn to roll his eyes as he shoved Billy around to see the girl wandering through the crowd. She waves with a smile after spotting the two of them. "Shit" he hisses. " I'll handle it" He whispers as the two waves back. "You better, Princess over there is at the center of all this," Stu says through gritted teeth. "Just take care of the dumb blonde'' Billy retorts. He shoots a glare behind him as he pushes through the crowd to meet the only girl either of them wants. "Hey, you." Billy beamed almost comically in an attempt to recover the control he'd lost just by seeing her. His out-of-character enthusiasm was a bit offputting making her take a step back. He cringed at his own actions, She always had a way of destroying the persona he worked so hard to build. He loved but hated it at the same time.

"Can we talk please?" She said in a hushed tone already pulling him towards the stairs with a nervous expression. 'Shit, I'm screwed' He thought. Billy panics trying to rethink the entire night he spent a year planning for. "Yeah, yeah. Sure, Doll." His eyes darted across the hallway. They brightened as he made a sharp turn and pulled her into Stu's bedroom. The large room was dark except for a poorly hung string of lights across the ceiling. The gaze in his dark eyes was unforgiving as he loomed over her already shaking form. His pupils were blown wide as he searched over her features.

''Ay. What's wrong, Doll?" He fought back his usual smirk from showing as he spoke a concerned tone. "It's Sid, She dragged me out here so I could get you to talk to her. I can't keep lying to her and Tatum is bound to find out eventually. I mean, what if Stu slips up in a joke or something? You've seen him. He flirts so much. Tatum and Sid are still mad about the arrest but she really likes you, Billy. Neither of them would ever forgive me if they knew about us sneaking around behind their backs. What if..." Billy holds back a laugh as he listens to her ramble on.

"How do you feel about me though?" She stopped completely. "What?" The girl’s large eyes stared back into his own in the hope of finding falter in any sense of the word. ''Tell me how you feel about me 'cause I might starve if I can't have you." He struggles to speak plainly. She releases a squeak as she tries to contain herself. This was so far from how she wanted tonight to go. Her heart beats rapidly as silence fills the room. "I...I wanted you since we were little. I mean, funny story..." She begins to ramble again. "I was the one to start that rumor that we were already married in the fifth grade. I gave Stu a dollar and told him to be really loud about it" He laughs and his heart begins to beat like it'll burst. "Ooh, I really shouldn't have said that. Shit." The girl muttered bringing a hand to cover her mouth. Her eyes drift to the door for a moment only to return to meet his stare. His own narrows and his head tilts to the left in thought. "Explains a lot. My mom liked you a lot more after that."

Hundreds of thoughts both perverse and protective crossed his mind as his body acted on its own. This would counteract his plan, she wasn't supposed to come tonight. "God, you're something else, huh." She lets out a nervous laugh while trying to read his expression. Dark brown eyes traveled down the length of her tight dress hidden beneath a large jacket. That goddamn lettermen jacket she had borrowed from some nobody downstairs screamed for nothing but his downfall. He knew his schemes would all but crumble if he gave in to her touch tonight. He has to stay focused or the past year of his life would be wasted. He couldn't think of anyone who wanted to watch a movie about a killer being stopped just for love. The image of her wearing his own jacket flashed in his head. He needed her warmth so badly, it hurt at this point. "Billy, we really shouldn't be in here together" She grabs hold of his forearm in an attempt to keep him at a distance.

She silently begged for the strength to run back through the party never stopping till she made it home as she should. His hands slowly inch toward her. She shivers as his fingers brush against the fabric lining the jacket. His hand continues as it runs down to the small of her waist and rests there. The other cages her between himself and the wall. A small whimper escapes before she can bury it. "We'll be alright" He breathed as he bites his lip hard enough to draw blood to hold himself back. Everything about her was a drug. He could have sworn she was made to kill him from the inside out. He would just have to risk it. He'd be the one to win after all. Might as well, get the girl and get revenge all in one night, he thought. He couldn't understand but her voice is heard as she mutters a slur of curses. It sounds like a song to him at this point far overpowering the blaring music from downstairs in his head.

She watches a devilish smirk widen on his face, the very same that terrorized her so many times as they grew up together. His eyes were now scanning her every move as her hand traveled up and landed on his chest. Billy leans in to whisper in her ear. "Let it all go, princess. I got you." Something in her snaps and she kisses him harshly curling her arms around his neck and pulling him down to her height. Her fingers tangle in his short brown hair as he lifts her. The kisses grow heated quickly as they lose themselves in each other's touch. Their senses filled with nothing but the warmth of their embrace. He tightens his grip on her hip and begins to leave kisses in line from the curve of her jaw and down her neck.

He stops for a moment to smell her perfume. She had always smelled heavenly but tonight, she smelled of beer and whatever drug she's been laced with by god himself. "Billy.." She pleads into his ear. She only receives a hushed groan in response. Her nails graze against his skin as she continues to call his name. He hums against her as he comes back to his senses meeting her eyes once again. The vibration of his voice sends a shiver down her spine making her eyes flutter. His eyes were half-lidded and his breaths staggered and uneven. His lips appeared cherry red and glossy under the soft glow of the lights. She giggles after seeing the dazed look in his eyes. "Damn, I got you this high, Loomis?'' She teases brushing his hair out of his face with a newfound confidence. He gives a breathless laugh and drops his head to rest on her shoulder. "Fuck, I might just overdose on you, princess. Her smile falls as she remembers the world around them. "Maybe then, I'll have you all to myself."

A heavy knock on the door causes her to flinch and tighten her grip on his shoulders "Hey, lovebirds. This room's way past off-limits! Stu shouts from the other side. "Dammit, Stu. it's me" Billy shouts back before turning to the girl with a weak smile. "Well, why didn't you say so. Tell my bunny I love her!" Stu blurted in a singing tone.

She giggles and shakes his head at them both and breaks away from his hold. "'I'll go shut him up, I should get out of here soon. My parents want me back home." He only nods in response bringing up his other hand to rub the back of his neck. He swore he could still feel the touch of her fingers there. She grabbed his hand intertwining her fingers with his larger ones. She pulls his arm taunt toward the door before realizing he's not following her. She turns back to him with a confused look.

"Hey, mind doing me a favor, sweets?" She blushes at the name. "You mind calling Sid up here, I wanna get this over with. You won't have to lie anymore after tonight." The girl smiles at his words as she smooths down the fabric of her dress. "Ok but be gentle about it, alright. Today's been kinda rough for her." He pulls her in for another embrace resting his head on top of hers and speaks in a sickly sweet tone. "I promise, she won't be a problem after tonight." His eyes darken as he stares at the black robe sticking out of Stu's closet.

The rest of the Prescotts had to die tonight, And they would as he and Stu planned. Nothing could keep him from getting his sequel now since he finally had her.

#scream 1996 #scream movie #scream x reader #billy and stu #billy loomis x stu macher x reader #billy loomis x reader #scream fic #stu macher x reader #billy loomis #ghostface x reader #Spotify

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ashes-writing · 1 year

Text

stranger things ● can't fight this feeling ● s.harrington

warning

angsty!Steve in the beginning, flirtatious!coquette reader, neighbors to lovers, high school drama and angst, no sci fi or upside down this is a total AU, underage smoking, alcohol and 🍃 + house parties and eventual filth / PDA ( for my readers who aren't a fan you're warned now ahead of time), Steve finally wins a fight it's happening at some point, teeeny hints of a rivalry between Billy / Steve but Steve is bae so he will win, swearing, sarcasm. mentions of both steve and reader having similar but totally different home lives and steve's parents are.. old money snobby.

<- female reader warning ( personified a fair bit, clothing / hair / body parts and loads of personality so this one isn't as vague sorry babes this is me being ✨ self indulgent ✨ to a degree )

word count

7670 words exactly. I uh.. got carried away, oopsies.

( i'm on my bullshit.. again. there was a lot of groundwork to set bc this is deffo going to be a series. )

summary

he's fresh off a breakup with Nancy and he's not looking. but then you move in next door and he's entirely too aware. will either of you be able to fight your feelings?

( traaash. summary is trash. song inspo / title is can't fight this feeling by REO Speedwagon cos it kinda fits, esp the 'my life has been a whirlwind since I saw you' line. trust me on this. )

taglist

-- taglist here if you want to be tagged in my works please lmk or add yourself. otherwise, i don't tag.also, also.. if anyone who joined my ST list for strictly gareth fics wanna be removed from my other nonsense lmk please?

@tbmunson - bestie i luhh you. i had to tag you in this because you're my inspiration. feel free to ignore though, babes.

@allelitesmut

@chaoticcancer

@cursethememory

@dylanwritesgood

@just-a-blue-nerd

@music4life42

@slyisbehindyou

other links

masterlist ● steve's masterlist ● about + rules

Rain drizzles down the window of the classroom as Steve Harrington stares out, bored. He’s barely listening, his mind’s a million miles away. Replaying the talk he had with the guidance counselor about college and the importance of it in his head.

The door to the classroom opens with a tired creak, slowly. He tears his eyes off the gray drizzle outside to glance over and he watches as you walk in, stopping by the teacher’s desk. You happen to glance his way and the second you do this, he’s lost in your eyes for a few seconds. You’re the one who looks down first. Beside him, he can hear Carol and Nicole whispering back and forth, he catches bits of it and rolls his eyes.

If he needed a reminder as to why he stopped being friends with Carol and Tommy, the fact that she’s already talking about you and she doesn’t even know you is a good one. Carol snickers quietly, nodding to the front of the classroom at you as she tells Nicole, “She’s gonna get dress coded for that little dress of hers by the end of the day. Only sluts wear that kind of stuff.” and Nicole whispers back, “Carol, that’s mean. You’re not wrong though. I bet she’s easy.”

By now, you’ve clocked the two girls whispering back and forth as they steal glances at you and you want to laugh but you can’t. You’re almost willing to bet that they’re whispering back and forth about the pastel pink slip dress you’re wearing beneath your favorite soft cardigan with the hood and flared sleeves. Honestly, the fact that you’ve only been at Hawkins High for a total of ten minutes now and you’re already being talked about is something you find amusing.

The teacher is still looking over your schedule and as he does, you shuffle your feet against the speckled tiles. Glancing around the classroom.

The first set of gazes you meet are the two girls who are making no secret that they’re talking about you. You smirk at both and when the redhead looks you up and down and mouths the word slut, you shrug.

It’s nothing you haven’t heard before and honestly, you stopped letting anything anybody else says or thinks about you get to you a long time ago.

The next person your eyes settle on is the guy sitting right beside the window with an olive colored Members Only jacket. He looks like a classroom is the last place he wants to be and he’s twisting a black ink pen around in between his fingers until he looks up and right at you.

You can’t help but stare. His hand raises and fingers drag through effortlessly styled brown hair and your eyes catch on the movement for a split second but then they’re moving downward. Settling briefly on the prettiest lips you’ve ever seen on a boy, hands down. You bite your own lip for a second or two and you can feel a slow heat rise from the pit of your stomach, blossoming out over your cheeks and settling in the tips of your ears. He’s still staring, you can’t tell whether it’s amusement, curiosity or boredom, maybe it’s a mix of all three playing in doe eyes as he continues to stare. You shift from one foot to the other and your hand raises, catching in the long thick mess you call hair. Lingering there as you let a slow and soft smile slowly play at your lips.

The trance you’re in is broken by the teacher speaking. First to you, “You can take the empty seat in front of Steve Harrington.” and you nod. Then the teacher addresses that same boy you’ve only just managed to take your eyes off of because you were so mesmerized.

Which is dumb, you think to yourself, because I know how guys are. And he looks like the very kind to break your heart and probably laugh about it.

You shove the thought out of your head.

“Mr. Harrington, since you’re not taking one of your naps today, mind raising your hand so that our new student can find her desk, sir?”

There’s quiet laughter among the other students and you catch a glimpse of Steve as a hint of pink creeps into his cheeks and he gives the teacher a dirty look while slowly raising his hand.

You make your way over to your new seat and you’re settling in. The teacher tells you what page he’s reading from and you realize there’s no book at your desk so you speak up. “I don’t have a book.”

“You can share with Mr. Harrington. Maybe if he’s sharing a book he’ll actually pay attention for once.” the teacher shoots Steve a pointed look and Steve grumbles to himself but he moves to the empty seat beside your seat, the one normally occupied by some girl named Andrea. He pushes the seat closer to yours and sets the textbook so that it’s between you so you can see it and read along.

You give him this shy little smile and he gives you a weak one. Half-hearted, because Steve Harrington doesn’t smile that much these days.

As he settles into the seat he’s moved so that it’s beside your own, the sultry sweet scent of vanilla and a hint of something fruity envelopes the air around you both and when you lean in a little to read the page as he flips it, your movement sends it wafting towards him all over again.

Your hair brushes against his bare arm and he shifts in his seat slightly. You glance up at him apologetically and a few strands of hair swoop down into your eyes. He shrugs off the apology and goes back to reading. Or attempting to read.

You’re almost hyper aware of the boy sitting next to you, the powdery musk of his designer cologne thick in the air as you catch yourself stealing another glance of his side profile, sharp facial features, the faintest hint of a five o’clock shadow. When you feel his eyes set on you again, you quickly drop your gaze to feign interest in the same paragraph you’ve been reading for almost a whole minute by this point.

You uncross your legs to cross them again the opposite way. He moves to flip the page to the next one and this time, his forearm brushes right against the soft flared sleeve of the cardigan you’re wearing that nearly covers your pastel pink slip dress.

The air is thick, getting thicker by the second. And you catch yourself stealing a look at the clock over the blackboard because you almost can’t breathe properly and you’re wondering how long until the bell rings and you can rush out of class, go find a bathroom and collect yourself.

Steve’s gaze shifts to the clock and he takes a deep breath. There’s only ten more minutes left to class. The teacher finishes reading and closes his book, gazing out into the classroom. “You may choose someone to work with to complete the worksheet.”

You close the textbook and you’re assuming that he’ll move, abandon you to go work with friends or something. Honestly, you’re not in a hurry to find someone to work with, the equations on the worksheet are something you previously covered at your last school so you know you can struggle through and finish them on your own. ,, and I don’t need anybody to work with anyway, I’m better off alone.” the thought comes but it’s quickly shoved out of your head. You pick up your pencil and start working, despite the fact that Steve hasn’t moved back to his normal seat.

“You’re doing it wrong.” Steve speaks up after about ten or fifteen seconds of watching you bite your lip and glare at the paper in front of you, writing in numbers and erasing them. He clears his throat and nods to the worksheet in front of you. You look up at him and your tongue outlines glossy pink lips. He lets his eyes linger for a second or two before taking your pencil and the worksheet. And he calmly explains exactly what you’re missing to solve the problem.

“You have to divide first.” he tells you and you nod. You take the pencil from him when he holds it out to you and you make an attempt at doing the next one on your own, but you wind up annoyed. Letting the pencil fall to the desk.

“Math isn’t.. It’s not my thing. I hate numbers.” you admit quietly. Steve looks up from his half-complete worksheet and over to yours. Then he looks at you. “I can help you.. If you want me to, I mean.”

“Please?” you’re giving him this little pout, begging with your eyes. He chuckles and bites his lip as he trains his eyes on your worksheet. “Okay, I see what’s happening. Okay, this is what you need t’do.” he takes the pencil again and he’s going through each step with you. Every now and then he’ll drag his hand through his hair or pause and rub the back of his neck and your eyes are glued to his hands each time. “Okay, do you understand now?” he questions and you bring yourself out of your little daze to nod. Give him a little smile. “Math isn’t really my thing, but I think I get what you’re saying.”

He chuckles quietly. Goes back to finishing off his own worksheet quietly and after a little more struggling on your end, you finish your worksheet. Everyone else is still working for the most part.

You glance around the classroom for a few seconds to make sure nobody is looking and you slip the pack of gum out. You take a piece for yourself and unwrap it, popping it into your mouth. Then you gently tap Steve on the bicep and when he looks up, you nod to his hands.

His brow raises. You carefully slip the fat square of gum beneath the hand he has resting against the desk, your hands brushing. He sucks in a breath and feels annoyed with himself for the simple fact that even the slightest hint of physical contact is amplified because it’s just so rare that he’s touched or touching anybody else as of late.

It’s not a big deal and he tells himself that.

The bell to end class rings and you rise from your seat, gathering your books and shoving them down into your backpack, slinging that carelessly over one shoulder. Steve realizes that you left a paperback behind on top of the desk you were sitting in so he picks it up and wanders out into the hallway, glancing up and then down, brown eyes scanning the busy crowd of students until he spots you at some lockers down the hall just a little. You’re leaning against a locker with a little silver compact mirror in your hand and you’re reapplying your favorite flavored gloss to your lips.

He makes his way over and you lock eyes with him in the reflection of your little silver mirror just as you’re finishing your touch-up. You give him another soft little smile and close the compact, turning to face him. It puts you body to body and you marvel at the difference in your heights. The way he towers over you and the way the polo shirt he’s wearing cuffs tight against his biceps. As the hallway gets more crowded, you’re forced at one point to step into him and when you do this, you brush against him just barely and Steve swallows hard.

“Sorry.” you mumble, a softness to your voice when you speak. He tears his focus off that and holds out your paperback, hints of a teasing smirk on his face as you feel your cheeks flame up the second you realize you left your current read sitting behind beneath the desk in class.

You want the floor to open up and swallow you right then and there. Your gaze settles on the thick and well-read paperback he’s holding out to you, the picture of a bare chested pirate standing at the helm of a ship with long dark hair blown out in the breeze emblazoned across the front has you swallowing hard. And there’s this teasing gleam in Steve’s eyes as he chuckles. “I think this is yours.”

“Uh huh.” is all you can manage to get out for some reason. And you’re annoyed at yourself for this. You pluck the book out of his hand and you shove it into your locker once you’ve opened it. Steve’s started to walk away and you steal a quick glance as he disappears into a classroom.

When you have to lean against the locker and breathe in, breathe out to pull yourself together, you grow even more annoyed with yourself. “Jesus christ. He’s just a boy.” you fan yourself and beside you, there’s laughter.

“He’s not even that good looking if you want the honest truth. And his kind.. They think they own the school.”

You’re red-faced when you meet the other girl’s gaze. Biting your lip, you nod in agreement. “Yeah. I kind of thought that’d be the case. Usually is with the pretty ones.”

Robin laughs softly. “I’m Robin. What’s your name?”

“___.”

“You’re new, huh?”

You nod. “Today is my first day.”

Robin smiles at you. “Prepare to be bored out of your skull. I’ve gotta get going. I’ll uh.. I’ll see you around?”

You smile back at her and nod. “Yeah. It’s a small school.” you keep it casual. Careful. Because getting too close isn’t something you’re good at. It’s not something you do well with and every single time you do, it winds up being a complete disaster. As she wanders off to her next class, you consult your schedule.

You’re wandering the hallway, in no hurry despite the fact that you know damn well the tardy bell is about to ring and you need to be making an effort to find your next class. As you turn a corner, you find yourself body to body with another boy. He’s not as tall and he looks more than a little overconfident. Blue eyes flit over you, taking you in. He’s chewing spearmint gum, this mixes with the faintest hint of cigarette and you bite your lip, looking him right in the eyes. It’s cheeky. Defiant. He chuckles.

“Hey. Haven’t seen you around before. I’m Billy.”

“___. You haven’t seen me because I’m new. Do you mind?” you’re staring over his shoulder because he happens to be standing right in front of the door you need to go through to get to your next class. Instead of moving, he leans in the doorway. Blocking your entrance. He chuckles. “Oh? You’re in this class too?”

You nod. He steps out of the door and makes a show about letting you go in first. You ignore his theatrics and slink into the room, presenting the teacher with your schedule and gazing around the room as the teacher writes your name down in her grade book. You wind up sitting at the same dual desk that Billy’s assigned to and you can feel him staring at you through class.

You look up a time or two because the weight of his stare is just that heavy.

Somewhere in the middle of class, he slips you a note.

← i’m kind of new here too.

← you smell amazing, by the way. Sweet.

You let your palm settle over the note and slip it across the desk so that it’s in front of your space. Your eyes dance over the words and you can’t help but roll them as soon as you read what he’s written about your scent. It’s the perfume, it gets you a lot of compliments. Surprising for a cheap perfume, but it’s your signature scent now, you haven’t worn anything else since freshman year.

You tap your pink pen against the desktop for a few seconds before responding.

→ Fascinating. I lived in the next town over. Where’d you move here from?

→ Thanks?

There’s not much else to say. You’ve got no real desire to ask him about himself, he strikes you as the type who won’t shut up about himself once you give him an opening to talk. Very much egotistical. Not what you’re into at all.

You slip the note back towards him and his hand settles over your hand for just a second or two, settling on top of it so you can’t pull away. It’s annoying, really.

A definite contrast to the way your two accidental brushes against the hand of Steve Harrington in your first class felt. But you’re shoving that one out as quickly as it invades your brain.

Because you’re better off alone. It’s been proven time and time again for you. Made worse by the fact that since your mom’s death, your own father can’t even stand to be around you. You know he loves you, you know he’s grieving but he’s shut you out completely.

You tear yourself out of your own thoughts and lick your lips, training your eyes on the torn slip of paper. You slip it back over to your side of the desk.

← There’s a party tonight. You should come.

← I can show you around.

You glance over at him, chewing your gum. He’s already staring when you look up and as a result, you make it a point to look down. Picking up your favorite pink pen, you start to scrawl out a response.

→ Can’t. My friends are coming over.

→ I’ll figure it out. Thanks anyway.

You push the torn slip of paper back to him and turn your attention to the worksheet you’ve just been handed by the teacher. This class is another subject you’re not so good at but you’re determined that you’ll struggle in silence. Because you want as little to do with the boy sitting beside you as possible, truth be told. You’re just not into the whole aura of dominance that you’re getting off him.

It reminds you too much of the last boy you dated. The one who kept pushing you into things you weren’t ready for and didn’t want.

Billy rubs his chin thoughtfully and he steals another look at you as you sit beside him, glaring at the worksheet as you uncross your legs and cross them again. You’ve taken off the high platform shoes you were wearing, they’re discarded below your chair. You twist a strand of hair around your finger as you focus on your work.He leans in a little, nodding to the worksheet. “I can help you.”

“I’m fine.” you answer quick. He frowns to himself as soon as you’ve looked away. You’re the first girl that hasn’t fallen at his feet in months and he’s at a loss about it. He’s also determined to change this.

“You’ve got your square drawn wrong.”

You glance up and over at Billy, the end of your pen rested against the center of your bottom lip. “I’ll figure it out later.” you answer.

“Fine. I’m trying to help.” Billy raises his hands and gives you his best good guy smile. You barely acknowledge it, looking back down at the worksheet in front of you instead. The second the bell rings you’ve gathered your books and you’re out the door before Billy even has the chance to catch you. You glance back to find him flanked by the two girls in your first class, both of them whispering and staring at you intently.. Again.

You roll your eyes and turn your head back to the front of you so that you can actually see where you’re going but you don’t do it soon enough and you collide into Steve. Steve’s hands shoot out, resting against your upper arms to steady you and he chuckles. “You’re in a hurry.”

“Yeah. Sorry. I should’ve been paying attention.” you mumble because yet again, you’re mesmerized. You shake your head and laugh softly at yourself. “Trying to get away from this guy in my class.”

Steve chuckles. Has the passing thought that this is something that probably happens to you a lot. Wonders to himself if it has anything at all to do with the way you carry yourself without realizing it, because it took him all of five minutes in the class he had with you earlier to quickly figure out that you’re one of those girls who carries herself like a little flirt and it’s completely unintentional for the most part.

Like, you’re completely unaware of it.

Because if he weren’t a thousand percent sure there was no way in hell you were flirting with you, if this had been last year, he’d have already put the moves on you.

,, but you’re not that guy anymore.” he reminds himself, ,, and you’re better off not getting close or attached because the one time you did was a disaster.”

“This guy have a name?” Steve asks. Surprised by the surge of jealousy that rises to the surface quick when you laugh and roll your eyes as you say the name of the guy in question. “Yeah. His name is Billy.”

“The guy’s a douchebag.” Steve steps up into you because he sees Billy rounding the corner, flanked by Carol and Nicole. Tommy’s walking in front of the three of them, facing away from the flow of hallway traffic like an asshole.

Your gaze flits to the group as they make their way past but it’s only because Steve was already glancing their way and you were curious about where he was looking. Billy locks eyes with you and a smirk plays at peachy lips. “Hey Harrington, I see you met ___.”

Carol rolls her eyes and coughs to cover “Slut.” when she passes you.

“ When a house lands on that bitch I want to be there.” you mumble, a response to hearing what she said and tried to cover. You shake your head and laugh it off and Steve is glaring at their retreating backs. “Ignore her. She’s jealous of pretty much everybody.”

“I picked up on that in first.” you admit, laughing softly. You tilt your head to the side slightly, gazing up at Steve. You haven’t bothered to step away from him and he finally realizes that he’s still got his hands against your upper arms, so he lowers them, slipping them into the pockets of his olive colored jacket. He steps away first, leaning against his locker. “So uh… what class do you have now?”

“Home Ec?” you dig around for the schedule you spent the parts of first class that you weren’t stealing glances at him doodling all over and you find it, holding it out to him. Steve takes the paper and chuckles, raising a hand to rest it against the back of his head. “C’mon. Your class is down the hall from mine. I’ll help you find it.”

Wordlessly, you fall in beside him, wandering down the hall. Neither of you are saying anything to each other. As you pass up Nancy’s locker in the hallway, Nancy watches as Steve walks past with you. She notes the way you tuck yourself into his side when the hallway gets a little too crowded. She catches you when you steal a glance up at him and it lingers right as the two of you are almost past the locker she’s standing in front of. She notices the way you’re biting your lip while you’re staring and all of this prompts her to gently nudge her new boyfriend Jonathan, nodding to your retreating backs.

Jonathan follows his girlfriend’s gaze.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?”

“I don’t know. But I do think she’s into him. Who was she?”

Jonathan shrugs. “Not a single clue.”

But Nancy’s curious now. And she’s sensing the potential to fix the mess she made when she broke up with Steve a few months ago.

“You’re getting an idea.. Aren’t you?”

“Maybe?” Nancy laughs softly as she says it and Jonathan chuckles. “Leave it alone, Nance.”

But she doesn’t want to because she owes Steve.. Something. She feels horrible about the way things ended. Cheating on him even though it’s not what she set out to do.

She hates the way things ended and she’s really hated seeing him the way he is now, all distant and closed off. Shut down.

Steve spots the door to the Home Ec classroom. He nods to it. “There you are.”

You’re lingering in the doorway, almost body to body. “Thanks. I’ll see you around.” you give him another little smile and you turn, making your way into the classroom. As Steve turns to walk away, he finds himself almost nose to nose with Billy Hargrove, who promptly chuckles. Nods to the door you just walked through. “You can’t handle a girl like that, Harrington. You couldn’t even handle that little mouse you got dumped by. What was her name again?”

Steve rolls his eyes.

“I was walking her to class.”

“Sure you were. If you’re smart, Harrington.. You’ll leave her alone.”

“Maybe you’re the one who should do that, Billy.” and Steve has to check himself, he’s not even sure why he’s getting worked up over it to start with, it’s not like you’re his girl. He doesn’t have any right.

All he knows is that you were in a big hurry to get away from Billy Hargrove not even ten minutes ago and that alone tells him you’re not interested in Billy.

,, And she’s not your girl so this isn’t your business.” his brain reminds, only to have him ignore it because he’s sick and fucking tired of the way Billy’s taken over since his arrival back in October.

He’s not jealous, he’s just annoyed. Irritated.

The guy’s an asshole and everyone seems to flock to that.

Billy chuckles. “That’s not gonna happen, Harrington. You into her or something?” Billy’s taunting him, a menacing gleam in baby blue eyes as he steps just a little closer. “That what this is, Harrington?”

“Nope. I just know for a fact that she was in such a hurry to escape you that she ran into me.” Steve’s standing taller. Studying Billy with an annoyed look on his face and his arms folded over his chest. Billy makes himself taller. Smirks at Steve. “She’s gonna end up with me. I’m pretty good at getting what I want.”

Steve chuckles. Shrugs it off. “Whatever, Hargrove. I really don’t care.”

It’s a lie, he’d rather eat glass before admitting just how much the thought of Billy making yet another girl fall at his feet annoys him, but he’s determined to stick through it.

“Stay away from her, Harrington.” Billy calls out the warning as Steve walks away, not even bothering to stop and look back or challenging him.

Because if it happens, it happens. All he’s currently trying to do is finish out his senior year and graduate. Get on with his life. Nothing matters anymore.

–

You wander into your new house, pausing at the door to slip off your shoes and put down your backpack, slip out of your favorite cardigan and hang it neatly on the coat hanger. You close the door behind you and wander over to your father’s state of the art stereo, turning it on and tuning it to the local rock station you prefer and then from there, you wander into the kitchen, sifting through the mail that’s sat on the counter, discarding everything but your catalogs as you wander over and open the double doors of the fridge.

You’ve just popped the tab on your soda when you hear the doorbell ringing, so you wander back out into the living room, throwing open the front door.

“Girl.. This place is big!” your friend Chloe steps into your house and she’s laughing. Talking a mile a minute about what happened today at your old school. And you’d be listening if it weren’t for the fact that you’re just a little distracted, staring at the house across the street.

Steve Harrington is outside, mowing the lawn. A gray t-shirt thrown around his neck to catch the sweat that’s covering his body in a light sheen.

Chloe realizes you aren’t listening and she goes quiet, her gaze following yours.

“He’s kind of a prettyboy, ___. Like Landon.”

You sigh. Give her a sheepish shrug. “He seems sweet though. He’s in my first class of the day.”

“Speaking of.. How weird is it going to our rival high school?” Chloe asks and you finally manage to shut the front door just so you won’t keep staring across the road at the poor guy. You remind yourself a little firmer this time that guys like Steve will break your heart. Zero hesitation.

Your father’s sports car pulls into the circular brick drive in front of the house and he calls out, “Forgot my plane tickets, champ!”

“On the counter, sir!”

“I’m leaving the Visa with you this time. If you girls wanna go into the city and do a little shopping or you need anything, you know the pin, right?”

“Mhm.”

This is standard. You get the same speech every single time he leaves. You’ve been getting it since the summer your mother died, between 8th grade and 9th. When your father started taking more out of town cases. Higher profile ones that meant he’d be away longer. When he started taking solo vacations because he said he needed time.

He goes in for a hug but it’s not the hugs he gave you when you were a little girl, you haven’t gotten one of those since your mom died either. This is stiff and it’s awkward. You pull away and your eyes settle on his navy colored tie. “Dad.. the tie is wrong. You’re going to throw off the whole suit.”

“Fix it,will ya, princess?”

You fix his tie and he chuckles, glancing from you to your best friend Chloe. “You two don’t have any wild parties.”

And then he’s gone, plane ticket in hand.

Chloe laughs softly. “C’mon. You mentioned this place has a heated pool?”

You laugh. “I did.”

“We can go swim. Teresa and Janey are coming, Janey just had to go home and finish packing her mom for New York.”

“What about Em?”

“She’s gonna no show. And we’re not talking to her right now because oh my god, girl.. Guess who brought her to school this morning?”

“Who?”

“Landon.”

You shrug. “Yeah. I kind of knew that was coming.”

“It blew up at lunch. They were all over each other and we exploded. I mean, there is such a thing as girl code.”

“Chloe, it’s fine. It’s not like I was gonna marry the guy. Besides.. I broke up with him. Remember?”

“Well yeah, but still. She’s dating him not even a week later. You’re our friend. Friends don’t pull that crap.”

You laugh and smile at her. “It was so hard today, I kept looking for you guys in the hallway. I did make one friend. Her name is Robin? She’s taking AP classes, so she’s in a few of my classes with the seniors.”

“You invited her, right?”

“She said she didn’t want to be in the way. Next time though.”

Chloe smiles. “Good.”

Teresa’s mother’s car pulls into the circular drive out front behind where Chloe parked her older sister’s car when she arrived. Teresa gets out on the driver side and Janey gets out of the passenger seat, the two of them arguing loud about Teresa’s driving and you’re laughing as you open the door again to let them in.

“Girl, holy shit. This house is massive.”

“I’m moving in.”

You laugh, hugging your two friends.

Teresa pulls away from the hug. “Did Chloe tell you about Landon and Em? Girl, that’s who he was cheating on you with.”

You wince but it doesn’t hurt like you thought it would, finally knowing the truth. Ultimately, you shrug it off. “It’s whatever, Teresa. I’m over it. It’s not like we were going to get married anyway, I mean.. And honestly, he’s not even that good looking.”

“He’s got balls for a chin.”

You snort, a hand raised to your mouth as you stifle a laugh. “So mean, Teresa.”

“Tessa’s coming too. Mom finally ungrounded her.” Teresa tells you and you laugh. “Unless she gets grounded again.”

“True, you’ve got a point. I can’t believe she thought she’d get away with coming in at 1.”

“Where was she even at?”

“That stupid club in the city? Yeah.. Apparently, Brenda figured out how to score a fake id? She got soooooo wasted. I had to help her up to her room.”

“Wait.. Brenda? Mousy little Brenda? She knows how to score a fake id?” you’re raising a brow because this is surprising.

“Mhm. That one.”

The Mustang Tessa drives pulls to a stop behind the car her twin sister drove and Tessa gets out. “Guess who’s out on parole, bitches!”

She says it so loud that you’re pretty sure Steve’s mother heard her as she got out of her own sports car across the street. Because the woman pauses, looks back at the group of you standing in the open front door of your father’s house and she’s giving you all this look of extreme disdain.

As soon as she’s in the house, Tessa wrinkles her nose. “What the hell was her problem?”

“You know how high on themselves those old money types are, sis.” Teresa laughs. Chloe speaks up. “Her son is hot. I wonder if he has any brothers.. Particularly an older one, y’know me..”

You groan and roll your eyes. And you happen to glance at the house across the street again just in time to see Steve standing in an upstairs window, looking out. You give a little wave and laughing, you turn away, wandering into the house.

“So.. we’re swimming. Right?”

“Duh. I waited for you guys to finally get here so I can test out the heated pool. I ordered pizza too. And Tessa can use her fake id to get us a little something later.” you’re giving the older girl a teasing look and Tessa grumbles, but she finally agrees. “Okay, alright,fine. I better not get in trouble.”

“Girl, nobody in Hawkins knows our mom.”

“Thank God for that.”

All of you make your way up into the room you chose to be yours and you’re taking turns changing into bathing suits in it’s adjoining private bathroom. Janey’s lounging on the bed, flipping through a magazine and you wander over to the big window facing the street, leaning against the glass.

“Hmm.”

“Yeah?” Janey looks up.

“Nothing.”

“Were you creeping on that guy next door?”

You can feel your cheeks burn. “No!”

“Liar!”

“I’m not lying.”

“He’s back.” Janey laughs when you flatten yourself against the wall next to the window and she’s smirking. “Point proven.”

You flip her off.

“Hey, I’m stealing this purple bikini.” Tessa calls out from your walk in closet. You laugh. “Take it. I didn’t like the way it fit. Too much ass.”

“Girl..”

“What? It’s true!”

“If I were a boy, you have no idea.” Teresa is wiggling her brows at you suggestively and you’re laughing and shaking your head.

You grab your favorite bikini, a red top with little white hearts all over it and a purposely mismatched white bottom with little red hearts all over it and you step into your closet to change. Once you’re done changing, you and your friends wander out into the yard, heading towards the back gate.

And across the road, Mrs. Harrington rolls her eyes. “Where on Earth are that girls parents?”

Steve almost chokes on the sip of Sprite he’s taken as he tries not to laugh or respond with something that he knows will get him in serious trouble.

His father rolls his eyes at his mother’s query and turns his attention back to Steve. “The coach called to talk to me today at the firm. Says you’ve been less than enthusiastic at practice lately, son. Harringtons are winners.”

“Yes sir.”

“And you need to talk to that rep from my old college. You’ve got to stop being lazy and putting things off. Slacking will not be tolerated.”

“Sweetie, your father just wants what’s best for you. Is this all because of that little drip? What was her name..” his mother rolls her eyes and turns her attention to the sudden shattering of silence, some rock band playing at full blast from the house across the street.

She rubs her forehead, grumbling in annoyance. “Those people are going to bring down property values.”

Steve clenches his fists. “Don’t you both have a flight to catch soon?”

“We fly out tomorrow. There better not be any girls here while we’re gone.”

“Your mother is right. The last thing you need right now is some little tramp throwing off your focus, kid. You’ve got a big game this Friday. A scout is going to be there. I expect your best effort.”

And Steve goes along with it, nodding his head. But mentally, he’s just reached a point where he’s done. And he doesn’t care. Because he doesn’t want anything his father’s been pushing on him since he was old enough to dribble a ball.

But basketball’s been the only way to get his father’s attention and even an ounce of pride from the man in him. But lately, he’s just reached a point where he doesn’t care. He’s starting to realize that the only time his parents are proud of him happen to be when he’s doing everything they want him to do. It’s as if he’s not allowed anything that might actually make him happy.

They hated Nancy.

They hate it when he goes out or has friends over, they hate anything remotely resembling fun.

“Okay, alright. I will, okay?”

“You’d better. I mean it, son. You’d better start shaping up. High school is almost over, son. It’s time to start growing up. Putting away childish things.”

And Steve can’t take it anymore. He gets up from the table and pushes his chair back into place beneath it forcefully before storming up the stairs.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into that kid but if he doesn’t shape up, I’ll ship him off to the military. That’ll build his character alright. Worked for me.” Steve’s father doesn’t miss a beat, rolling his eyes as the radio in his son’s bedroom kicks on, the sounds of some godawful band filling the house.

Down the table, Steve’s mother glares up at the ceiling. “He was such a sweet little boy. What happened to my sweet little boy? I think it was that frumpy little girl he was so caught up in.. Nancy? Wasn’t that her name? Or was it Nelly?”

Up in his room, Steve grabs his pack of cigarettes, thumping the unopened pack against his palm after he’s opened the window so he doesn’t set off the smoke alarms. Because if he has to take a second more of his parents riding him, he’s going to explode and he knows it.

He flops down in the window seat and leans his head back against the window surround, taking a cigarette out of the pack. And he finds himself glancing across the street to your house. Watching as you and your friends splash around in the heated pool out back. He can hear I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight as it floats across on the night breeze. He chuckles to himself as you try to dive on a massive unicorn float and miss it completely, popping up from beneath the water to splash your friend who is perched on a lounge chair, sipping something out of a wine glass.

As you pull yourself out of the pool and start to walk towards the gate, he quickly drops his gaze, exhaling a plume of smoke out the window and into the night. He’s got his eyes closed, he’s humming along to your radio since apparently, you’re going to let everyone in the neighborhood suffer tonight. Cutting Crew fades to Material Girl by Madonna and his eyes pop open when he hears a hiss coming from the yard below.

He swings his legs so that they’re out the windows as he sits up, gazing down at you.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” you’re smiling, a hand caught in wet and wild hair as you tilt your head and stare up at the way he’s sitting half out his bedroom window. You nod to the cigarette pressed between his lips. “You don’t uh.. Do you have more of those?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I bum one? Please?”

“You smoke?” he raises a brow. You shrug. “Everyone has vices, Steve.”

“Yeah. Hang on.”

“Wait, this will be easier if I just ring the bell and ask for you.” you say it and you’re gone before Steve can coax you out of doing that. He hears you ring the doorbell and he swears to himself, hurrying to shove a few cigarettes in the hollowed out book he usually hides his joints in on the rare occasion that his parents are home. And he wanders down the stairs just as your father has thrown open the door and you’re leaning in the doorway.

“Excuse me sir? Your son is in my class, I.. I kind of need to talk to him. It’s about an assignment.”

From behind Steve’s father, his mother speaks up, cutting her eyes at you. “It’s nearly 9 pm. On a Friday. Somehow I doubt you really want to talk to my son about a class assignment.” as she steps into the foyer of the house.

You can feel the disapproval as it radiates off the woman. But you don’t really care. She reminds you of your old neighbor. Always thinking she’s better than everyone else. Your hand settles on your hip and you flash her a grin. “I’m sorry to bother you so late, ma’am.” and it’s said in your sweetest butter wouldn’t melt of tones. “But I’m trying to catch up. I just moved in.”

“As if the moving truck parked across the street all morning or the construction noises I’ve been subjected to when I happen to be home weren’t obvious.” she’s got her arms folded, she’s looking you up and down and you just know she’s judging you.

And you want to laugh almost immediately.

Because you’re not the one standing around with shoulderpads so ridiculous on a designer blazer and skirt set that you look like a pro linebacker.

You lower the hand caught in your hair. “I can come back.”

“I’ll just go get my son.” Steve’s father gives you this smirk. And it’s similar to Steve’s to a point where you can see exactly where his looks came from, but it’s also different. A little too fake. A little too charming. And it rubs you all sorts of wrong when the man does it.

Steve’s mother is glaring at his father as his father makes his way over to the staircase to yell up for Steve.

You’re relieved when Steve wanders down, and you roll your eyes when his mother immediately stops him and she’s saying something to him in a whisper. You can tell she’s not happy with you being at her door.

It bothers you and amuses you in equal measure.

Steve’s scowling when he walks away from his mom and over to the front door. As he hands you a thick book, he leans in a little. “I think we’re around page 45 in class right now, ___.” he says it with this wink and you nod. “Thank you. I’m sorry to come over so late..” as you laugh softly, giving him this amused little grin.

You’re walking back across the street to get over to your house and take in the pizza that just got delivered when Steve hisses at you to stop from his bedroom window. “Sorry about that. My mom is..” he trails off. You shrug. “Kinda used to it?” you laugh a little. Nod to your house and offer, “If you wanna come over later.. We’re not really doing anything, dude. Just swimming. Tessa’s going to the corner store in a little bit, she’s gonna get some drinks.”

Steve chuckles and shakes his head. “Thanks though. Kind of writing an essay.”

“On a Friday?”

“Yeah.” he laughs quietly. “Why?”

“Nothing.. I mean if I knew your mom’s head wouldn’t explode I’d come over and help.”

“What about your friends though?”

“I mean, unless you’re opposed to having a house full of girls, they’d probably tag along. The offer is open. I mean.. We’re neighbors.” you can feel your face burning and you know you’re fumbling this badly, so you decide it’s time to leave. Go back over to your father’s house and get back to swimming with your friends.

As you wander away and disappear through the back gate, Steve takes a deep breath or two. “Nah..She wasn’t flirting with me.”

He keeps the window open, the sounds of music and laughter competing with REO Speedwagon as it plays quietly on the radio while he attempts a fourth time to come up with an essay that isn’t completely horrible.

And on his smoke breaks, no matter how hard he tries to stay away, he finds himself wandering over to his window. Staring across to yours.

“It’s not gonna happen. And I’m done anyway. Nobody ever stays. Kind of pointless.” he mutters to himself as he lights up his last cigarette and exhales a plume of smoke into the night…

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x yn #stranger things ● steve harrington #<- my writing ● steve harrington #<- warnings | angsty fluff drama of the high school teen variety ● neighbors au with no sci fi ● mentions of alch + 🍃 and eventual filth #<- see other warnings.#<- female reader warning | characterized ( body parts ● clothing/hair ● personality / rich girl!coquette!neighbor ● petnames #fandom ( stranger things ) ● season ( 2 - forward and au ) ● character ( steve harrington )

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dearhargrove · 2 years

Text

Heat 2

ʙɪʟʟʏ ʜᴀʀɢʀᴏᴠᴇ x ғ!ʀ��ᴀᴅᴇʀ

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 1,384

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶:: After the events in the sauna and you waking up again, you and Billy enjoy some time alone. Well, as alone as you can be with six kids standing in the doorway.

𝔱𝔴'𝔰: none

𝔞/𝔫: thanks for the patience everyone!

@alohastitch0626 thanks for your comments ! Sadly I can't reply to them:( (pinned post) so I'll thank you here ⊂(´･◡･⊂ )∘˚˳° thank u so much for reading

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Waking up in Billy's arms would probably be your forever favorite thing. His muscular arms keeping you safely tucked into his chest and your head fitting perfectly under his chin in a comfortable way. He usually liked burying his face in your hair because "it smells really good", which you couldn't get beyond but well, if he's happy, you're happy.

Usually he wakes up a bit before you because although it may seem like he sleeps in a lot, he's more of an early bird than anything. So, waking up with him is the best. Why? If the above reasons aren't enough, here's some more of yours: he loves to have one hand on your hip, just holding you close. Not only does it feel tingly then, but he strokes his thumb over the skin he can reach affectionately.

And, come on, who wouldn't love that?

He may look like he'd smell like sweat and car oil, but his scent is actually very pleasant. It's refreshing and reminds you a bit of the ocean, which he loves because that in turn reminds him of California.

So, laying in his arms again after such a rough week was the best possible outcome of the situation. What wasn't the best outcome was a bunch of teenagers storming into the room and in the process waking you.

You look around the room, completely disoriented, only to realize that the group of friends as well as Steve, Nancy, Jonathan and to your horror Joyce and Hopper, are standing in the doorway. It takes you a minute to realize that, no, they hadn't seen you awake yet and that Billy is currently laying behind you, shirtless, and completely unaware of the situation. "Uh...", you don't know what to say when suddenly Dustin breaks out into a horrified scream.

"Oh my God!" you raise your eyebrows - because what the fuck? None of the others seem to understand him either, so he points behind you and waits for them to catch on. Catch on what, you don't know. "Please tell me you did not fuck in here when we were in the room right next to you!" yells Max.

Oh. Oh.

"What- no! Oh my goodness, no, ew! Why would we do that?" you're horrified now too, because why was that their first thought and why did you not realize that's what they meant?

"Uhm, because you didn't see each other for, like, days?" Dustin states naturally as if there wasn't any other reason you'd sleep in the same bed with your boyfriend. "Okay, stop– just because we sleep in one bed doesn't mean we have sex! Why does it concern you anyway, Dustin?" with an eyebrow raised you watch him gape before he tries explaining himself.

"What else should I have thought!" he lisps and you chuckle, before pointing a finger to the door. "I appreciate you all being here, but please let me wake up and get ready in peace..." you plead. Joyce finally takes control over the situation and ushers the kids out of the room before turning to you with a stern glance. "You better not be lying about fucking here or I'll have Hopper on you both."

You gulp and nod, watching as she closes the door with a smile.

This woman wasn't to be underestimated, gosh. You think and let yourself fall down into the mattress again.

When you feel Billy stir next to you, after not feeling your warmth in his arms anymore you raise a hand to brush his hair out of his face. You would've had to wake him up now, anyways. "Good morning, sleepy head." he just grumbles and turns to the other side, away from you.

You drape yourself across his side and back, throwing one leg over his waist and hug his shoulders. "We gotta get up, baby." you kiss down the side of his neck, sucking a small hickey just underneath his collar bones. He exhales, opening his eyes slowly. "Let me just stay asleep," he whines. You giggle at this image of him, thinking back to him usually looking like a total fuckboy only to now be whining in your arms.

"Nope, Joyce is waiting as well as like half of Hawkins." He raises an eyebrow and turns on his back, moving to put an arm around your waist where you're hovering over him.

"You mean the little shitheads?" he asks while pulling you down on his chest. You grunt, "yep, they're here also. Came in here and thought we fucked yesterday, they completely freaked." you laugh and close your eyes. He chuckles breathlessly, the feeling of his chest moving up and down pleasant.

He smirks and moves to stroke his hand down your back, stopping short over the hem of your shorts. "Don't start something we can't finish here, Billy." you mumble and he grins, patting you on your bottom to get you to stand up.

"Let's get ready and then we can do whatever you want." you sit up, seated on his hips as the shirt you'd borrowed from him falls over one of your shoulders. You don't pay attention to it, playing with his curls while planning what you two could do.

You don't notice his eyes fixed on your cleavage, completely zoned out. With a sigh you get off his lap which makes him grunt in a whiny way. "Don't leave me~ I'm cold now," he whines before moving to pull the comforter over him. You shake your head and grab his hand. "Come on, I was serious when I said they're waiting. We can lay in bed all day after we get home, but right now we gotta get ready, yeah?"

"I hate how responsible you are, you know that?" he groans and sits up, too, looking completely disheveled. You grab a brush out of the cabinet next to you, having left it there months ago when you first stayed here. While you brush through your hair, you see him move around in the mirror. "Damn, really gotta shower when we get home," he says, more to himself than anyone specifically. You giggle and finish doing your hair, walking to where he's standing and making him sit down.

You take a comb for his curls and start brushing through the knotted hair. "When did you last brush through all of this?" he stays silent and you softly hit his neck with the comb in a scolding way. "You gotta take care of your hair if you want it to stay healthy. How many times do I have to remind you, my love?" you finish brushing through his hair and let your hand through it a few times before patting his back and straightening yourself.

Having breakfast with the people you love the most and partly see as family was something you'd add to your list of "best things". During breakfast Billy kept his hand on your thigh and watched over you like a hawk, to your amusement.

After a bit of discussing what would happen with the Mind Flayer you all went your own ways. Sitting down in the passenger seat of the blue Camaro felt like coming home, in a sense.

The stench of cigarettes was the only thing you hated about this car, you think and plug your seat belt in. You watch Billy as he does the same before the familiar roar of the engine starting up can be heard.

You wave at Eleven, who was standing on the porch. She waves back with a small smile and you coo internally. "Alright, princess. What do you wanna do today?"

You pretend to think for a minute before turning to him, excitedly.

"You know there's a new recipe I've been wanting to try," you laugh at his pained groan, knowing very well he hated cooking with a passion. "You promised we'd do anything I want, so there's no way out of this, pretty boy," you sing song and he just stares ahead, secretly enjoying this side of you, especially after days of only seeing you asleep, looking completely wrecked.

so... thanks for reading <3 I've got a few ideas for him in my head and obv in none of them does he die in Starcourt ;). Have a great day everyone!

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #billy hargrove x reader

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sadhours · 1 year

Note

How about Billy...but with a hippie gf =^

i’m not really sure if this fits but here you go! :)

here’s something short and soft for billy.

Neil can’t stand you. You’re too much like his ex wife and he knows that’s why Billy’s so infatuated with you. Neil was used to his son listening to him so he doesn’t even fathom that Billy would tell him no.

“You’re forbidden to see that girl,” he bellows when a smiling Billy closes the door after saying bye to you.

“Ha,” the smitten look on his face doesn’t dissipate at his fathers tone, “That’s funny, dad.”

“I mean it!” he tries again, “She’s a goddamn beatnik!”

The look on Billy’s face only angers Neil more. It’s twisted in humor like his dad has said the most ridiculously absurd thing he’s ever heard.

“Dad, it’s the 80’s,” he chuckles, “No one says that word anymore.”

Neil fumes, “Okay, hippie, flower child, whatever the hell they’re called these days. Either way, you’re not to see her anymore. She’s probably on drugs all the time.”

“Sure,” Billy nods, trailing back to his room with that dumb fucking look frozen on his face. Neil has half the mind to slap it off of him, but he’s trying to be better. He’ll fail soon. Him and Billy both know that.

Your white dress whips with the wind as you and Billy stand on the beach, hand in hand. It reminds him of his childhood. You remind him of his mother, he knows that, knows that’s why his dad doesn’t want him seeing you but he doesn’t care. You make him feel better, less alone in the world. Sure, you’re always stoned and spouting off about how this plane of existence is just the beginning of life but it comforts Billy.

Why you’re with such a hothead instead of someone more like you, Billy doesn’t understand but he tries not to question it. Like maybe you’re meant to entangle so you can calm him down and he can tell you when you shouldn’t let things go. You’re too carefree, sometimes you let people take advantage of your kindness and Billy doesn’t like it.

You pass the joint to him, sunshine fading under the horizon, “There’s a bonfire tonight.”

Billy’s already in trouble for sneaking out to be with you right now, he can’t imagine what Neil will do to him if he doesn’t come home soon.

“I don’t know,” he mumbles, pulling a drag from the joint.

“How do you feel?” you ask, eyes telling him there’s nothing to be scared of but you’ve never seen Neil’s rage and the unfolds on Billy’s face.

“Uh,” he hesitates and you raise your eyebrows up. “Nice, I guess.”

“Feel your surroundings,” you instruct him, “close your eyes and clear your head, focus on the way the waves sound and how the breeze feels.”

He feels silly but he listens, he kills the rest of joint and tosses it on the sand before tilting his head back and closing his eyes. Time is still for the moment, he’s not Billy, you’re not you and his dad isn’t his dad. Nothing exists and it’s an exhilarating feeling, addictive to him. That’s why he’ll sneak out to see you whenever he can. Sure, the weeds nice but the way you make him feel is the drug.

You stand in front of him, wrapping your arms around his neck and watch as he comes back down to reality, but this time a little lighter. He kisses you and you melt into it.

“I think I love you,” he admits sheepishly when you pull away.

He tries not to worry when you don’t say it back and instead, lace your fingers and drag him along for a night of lazy kisses by a big fire.

#billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove drabble #request

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maxislvt · 1 year

Text

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa

Summary: You'd do anything to give your boys a good Christmas

Warning: None

A/N: my awful humor plagues the narrative another day

Event Masterlist

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

For many people, two kids during Christmas was a financial death sentence. For the Maximoff family, it was usually just a hospital bill if you were lucky. Christmas was like a whimsical curse on you and your family. Fun times and at least one scrapbook-worthy injury in the family.

When you and Wanda first started dating, they were small things. Pietro ran face-first into the world's sharpest wreath and needed stitches. Then, Wanda had broken her wrist after getting locked in her family shed. Finally, the Christmas before you two got married, you got a nosebleed from being hit in the face with a vodka bottle.

When the twins were born, it seemed the curse had disappeared. Maybe someone would get the flu or a small cold, but you were blessed with peaceful Christmases for quite some time. Unfortunately, that beautiful streak was about to break. You could just feel it. As your children grew older, they became more reckless. Well, it was mostly Tommy and his hectic super speed, but even Billy started to have random bursts of magical powers.

"Wanda, I'm worried about the curse," You said, staring up at the ceiling. Sleep was the last thing on your mind as you were plagued with visions of every accident that happened. All the tiny bruises you, your wife, and her brother had collected over the years. The mark on Pietro's forehead is barely hidden by the fluff of his bangs, the slash on your eyebrow, and the lighting strike across your girlfriend's lips. "I mean, I know the boys think ours are cool, but I would like for my kids to not look like a gently tossed sack of partially peeled potatoes.

Wanda snickered and rolled over to face you. "And what makes you say that?" Her hand cupped your face and gently ran her thumb over your eyebrow. "Also, they're not gonna look like potatoes. Even if they do, they're kids, they get all kinds of crazy scars and misadventures." Despite being a witch, your wife wasn't nearly as superstitious as you were. Not that she didn't believe in bloodline curses, just didn't believe you or she had one.

You sighed and wiggled closer to your wife. "I know, but I just don't want them to get hurt. The hospital staff knows us by our first name now, and that's not a good look for any of us." Wanda normally supported your ramblings and crazy idea, but you could never get her to take your side on that argument. "I mean with Billy's magic and Tommy running around at the speed of everything, something is bound to go wrong!"

Wanda pulled you in for a kiss. "Baby, the people at the hospital know you by your first name because you're an Avenger and the boys will learn to control their powers soon enough. Just relax, okay?"

You sighed and pulled Wanda into your chest. "Fine, but if someone ends up in the hospital, it's on you."

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

"Pietro, this is the worst idea I have ever heard in my entire life."

The Santa suit, fake beard, and big red bag laid out a recipe for disaster. Pietro's plan was exactly what your anxiety-ridden heart didn't need. One of you was to dress up as the big red man and jump down the chimney to give the kids the best Christmas memory ever.

"Isn't this exactly how Tony broke his leg trying to make Morgan happy? I love the boys, but I'm not exactly looking forward to another medical bill." You used your foot to gently kick at the huge bag one of you was supposed to bring down a chimney. "Also, there's no way this thing is gonna fit down my chimney. You could barely drag this thing into the room."

Pietro shrugged. "Yes, it is how he broke his leg, but he isn't as cool as either of us. This plan is foolproof!" Many people struggled to comprehend how twins could be so different. Wanda was tense and forever cautious. Pietro was nothing short of impulsive and thoughtless. "Think of the kids! They'll be so happy."

Eventually, you conceded. "Fine, but if I have to go down that chimney, you're dressing up like an elf!" You begrudgingly snatched the suit and beard from your brother-in-law and made your way to the bathroom. "Also, you forced me into this if Wanda gets mad!" Though you were an adult with your autonomy, your wife had the final say in most things. If she wanted a winter break with no powers, you'd follow that command to a T. Unless Pietro had hyped you up into doing otherwise. "I look…ridiculous."

Pietro opened the bathroom door to reveal his half of the costume. Pointed ears, green and white striped hat, and the dumb elf outfit you'd ever had the pleasure of seeing. "We look great, now grab the bag and let's toss you up on that roof!" Before you could argue, he picked you up and sped straight up the side of the house. "Okay, I'm gonna go wake up Billy and Tommy, you just wait here, and in about a minute just jump down and be all jolly! Got it? Good!"

You nodded, but Pietro had already left. For the sake of a happy wife, excited children, and safe Christmas, you decided not to think about how scary it was to be alone on top of a snowy roof. Refusing to believe it'd take a minute to get both of your beloved sons out of bed, you simply jumped down the chimney without much thought. Unfortunately, the sack was much too big and you had to let go. That had only gotten you about an extra three inches down the opening before being officially stuck. "Fuck!" Was all you could shout before desperately kicking your feet back and forth.

Pietro sped back up the roof and pulled the sack out of the chimney. He peered down the shaft and his jaw nearly dropped. "Dude, are you stuck?"

"No, I decided to get comfy in the chimney just to try it out. Yes, I'm fucking stuck! Go call my wife!"

After an interesting game of magical Twister and one broken chimney, you were freed from the confines of your brick prison and taken to the hospital. There was no time for you to change so you were sent in an ambulance, big beard and all. Fortunately, your wife was more so endeared by your commitment than horrified by the situation.

"So, is there a Mrs.Claus?" Wanda asked smoothly as she snuggled up in your hospital bed. She laughed as you groaned out in embarrassment. "Come on, I thought that was really cute!"

"You're only saying that because you're not hopped up on six different pain meds and don't have stitches." You grumbled but leaned against your wife to get some comfort. Her warm body eased the blistering cold that mercilessly attacked your wounds. "I told you we were cursed, but nooo!"

Wanda giggled and peppered kisses all over your face. "I think it's less of us being cursed and more of my brother having bad ideas." She wrapped you up in her arms and smiled. "Now rest up. The faster we get out of here, the faster we can get home to the boys. "

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda fanfic #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda imagine #wanda fluff #panther's 12 days of christmas

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sharonisthebettercarter · 5 days

Text

billy butcher and addiction--

felt there's a need for a good and proper analysis for this fucker (as well as i can manage, maybe throw in a bit of a rant on poor fandom etiquette, 'three laws of fandom' are an oldie but a goodie lol) so here we go i guess--

i wanna start by saying this is a full scope character deep dive (sortaish?? best i can do take it or leave it--lol i might go further in depth on specific scenes or whatnot later, i'm longwinded but i'm tryin' to condense as best i can for this, aaaaaaaaaaand long long post ahead--) that def includes elements solidly confirmed in dear becky and probably leans more on comics billy overall, but def does intertwine and interlock with show billy (as they are essentially the same, garth ennis' own words went something like 'he's a perfect billy butcher' lol)

i'll try to avoid spoilers (??) for the most part like dear becky, but there are some things that may need more context (there is quite a bit of in the show that works well enough to represent anyway but i guess we'll see how this goes, i may end up talking more about the show elements and how they parallel with comics billy anyway)

i also think it's worth mentioning that there's a lot to billy (especially in the comic) i feel fandom either ignores, dismisses or doesn't want to acknowledge, or just doesn't notice.

whether from personal bias/prejudice, desire (fitting billy into that 'alpha's alpha' toxic masculinity 'dom top' fever dream 'mold' so to speak, probably--no, definitely the *worst* way to interpret and easiest way bungle up his character, it completely misses the fact that billy has built *that* 'daddy approved' version of himself as a *facade* to *hide* his own shame and insecurity, and he is *so* much more complex than that nonsense (and genuinely uncomfortable and unhappy being that way-beyond the subtle guilt of a constant high). can we talk about the ways in which fandoms promote and perpetuate toxic masculinity--what, no time we'll be here all week?? oh, okay. jesus fucking christ that is exactly as bad if not worse than the maga chud interpretation and unironic worship of homelander--), lack of personal experience/familiarity, understanding--fuck it, even lack of education in media analysis or reading comprehension (if not both), and *especially* being pro-censorship/americentric/*stuck* with purity culture blinders (or even some part of them lingering)

all of those can def make media (and characters like billy) that isn't 'cookie cutter america-approved' fairly difficult to understand or accept (i guess??)

i've seen so much listed to hell and back in attempts to describe comics billy. 'he's a piece of shit' *YES*. 'he's just wish fulfillment for the author's hatred of superheroes' *no*??? let me not get into the complete hypocrisy of someone who writes or enjoys fanfic--the epitome of *wish fulfilment*--unironically complaining about other authors doing this and thinking it's a legit complaint. how does *anyone* read the entire story and come to *that* conclusion???

did you even bother reading the comic? no, i don't mean glossing over it with a completely closed mind while actively ignoring and dismissing everything important put in front of you and designed to make you think because the blood and guts or other is too distracting apparently, i mean *actually* reading it thoroughly and making an effort to think about what's being presented and why, waiting for the drop *instead* of jumping to judge (as is the american way)

and to some degree, i get it. i wouldn't say this comic is the easiest to digest (especially if completely unfamiliar with many of the themes presented, even the show has sparked some ass takes and interpretations) there's also plenty of common misconceptions, one in particular about garth ennis 'hating' superheroes. this is actually not true, what he hates is how the superhero *genre* has bottlenecked the comics industry and what is more likely to see success in it (and as a fellow creative, i completely understand how frustrating that would be, his main interest is actually war stories)

it's def one thing to say, 'nah, i don't vibe with the style' or 'it's not really for me/my taste but it's fine if others like it', i get that, satire and horror aren't for everyone. honest critique is fair even.

but it is a whole 'nother thing entirely to pretend your own personal tastes are *the only 'correct' creative law* and then *vehemently* oppose or hate something an artist created and denounce, harass, or fuck--dehumanize the people who enjoy it, if not the artists who work(ed) on it.

i'm sorry, this is a tangent cause it's def not limited to the hate the boys comics or ennis gets *at all*, it's especially prevalent in *literal* kids media like teen titans go where the thing in question is simply put--*NOT MADE FOR THE SHITHEADS NONSTOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT* when they can literally, *LITERALLY* just *accept* that they weren't the *target audience* and move the fuck on with their day, happy as can be. *instead* of shitting on something *or the people who like it* to make literal *children* or other people feel bad about liking it.

it's one thing to try and educate people or have discourse and discussion, it is another entirely to *bully* them over something so *stupid* as *fiction*.

i especially have a problem with this shit when i have *several* artists tell me that they don't feel *safe* or *welcome* being themselves, liking or creating what *they* want to make in a fandom *because* of the fandom attitude and normalization of *hate* within that fandom.

i *thought* fandoms were supposed to be about *love* so what the fuck is this human tribalist false dichotomy bullshit??

and of course, that's not always the case. there is also an unbelievable level of respect that is given to fanartists and fanfiction writers, and that is *beautiful*. 'don't like, don't read'. *PERFECT*. curate your own content, complain or rant in your own spaces--you're entitled to an opinion, but *accept* that it still has a right to exist and other people still have a right to love it (and aren't wrong for that, opinions cannot be objective), *even if you don't like it*. just don't engage then, it's that simple.

now extend that level of courtesy to the people, artists and writers in the industry.

no, i'm not trying to shut down criticism of media, proper critique is how we learn and grow and understand better and in turn *create* better. yes, they can fumble the fucking bag too, especially when adapting something from a source material and--like *some* fanfic writers out there--think they can do it 'way better'.

but the people in the industry? who bend over backwards, going on strike in some cases, breaking their necks to work on and create the things that we *love* and latch onto?

they're people too. and whether the thing they make goes *exactly* how we want or not, however you feel about the money in the entertainment industry (which they see barely a dime of if those fucking strikes and constant mistreatment are any indication), they don't deserve to be treated like scabs.

that mentality of 'not my personal taste = universally bad' and 'anyone who disagrees with my opinion is wrong' is fucking gross and *extremely elitist*, just straight up announcing how pretentious, obtuse, willfully arrogant and ignorant, and *lacking in self awareness*--the number one easiest way to be the *shittiest* kind of artist/writer/critic--you are. it is *exactly* like cishet white men complaining about something being 'bad' because it's 'woke' or has anything *besides* a cishet white man for the protagonist.

*god forbid something isn't tailor made specifically for them.*

swear to gawd, i got a list of different bullshit and circle jerking i've seen all across different fandoms for different reasons. no i'm not mad at any one person in particular, just a little salty from recurring problems and gatekeeping (ghoulfucking-GHOULFUCKING OF ALL THINGS I--I CANNOT) if not straight up bullying (does it really make a bitch feel *so* much better to try and hurt other people for liking what they, and let's be honest, are not willing to give the time of day?) in fandoms. (the complete audacity of people to complain about a media being 'childish' or 'bad' because 'insert nonsensical trivial bullshit here that holds no weight because it's personal taste if not flat out wrong and not actual critique' and then turn around and throw the biggest fucking tantrums about it--let me not get into the whole sharon carter debacle jesus christ--)

same shit. different pile.

also, fuck me. i keep *forgetting* that genuinely valid critique (*not* personal taste/opinion, proper critique pertains to things like techniques used, composition, narrative consistency and plot holes, goals of the artist/writer, accomplishments of those goals, etc.) is something that needs proper education and understanding all on its own which not a whole ton of people get or even know, which just goes to show--i'm a dumbass too. (but i won't deny that plenty of 'critics' are full of shit and *know* this but use their 'personal taste' as 'critique' *anyway* because... they enjoy being complete assholes and discouraging other artists i guess.)

y'all, take a class or two in art critique and literature analysis. you'll learn all the cool lingo (to later forget if you're like me~), and maybe (hopefully) walk out with a bit more of an open mind wanting to encourage more art in the world, even if you don't personally like it. take a moment to *listen* to differing opinions in their *entirety* and you might even gain a new perspective.

*no one* should be ashamed to ask questions or admit they don't know or understand something and fuck the people that would make you feel that way. *we can and should help each other.*

but stagnant or hostile fandoms with no self awareness and perpetuated elitism circle jerks? *really* fucking shameful, regardless of the form or where they are.

ANYWHO--

ugh, fuck. okay. i think i'm done with that tangent, back on topic--

BILLY BEAN~<3

and i want to reiterate that *again*, dear becky *does* confirm pretty much everything i'm going to discuss here tho technically speaking, nothing is spoiled here as it's just reiterating what is implicit (if not stated outright) throughout the series.

as far as dear becky goes, it's a good final gut-wrenching piece to the series and i loved it, but it definitely leaned on more of 'tell' instead of 'show, don't tell' (no duh in context, but probably because the rest of the comic did the 'show'--very well imo but it still flew over peoples' heads and made them misplace their brains--i'm sorry, i've just lost so much patience for the lack of reading comprehension and media literacy, but honestly? ennis is genuinely too good at knowing how to spark a strong emotional reaction in readers. and can we talk about the dense mofos that *make* authors have to 'tell' just to confirm something that is heavily implied--what, no time? oh, fuck, fine.)

OKAY--

addiction.

what about it, and why am i mentioning it. well. because if it's not clear by now, william butcher is an addict.

and it is one of, if not the core element that drives him to do what he does.

not becky or becca. not justice.

addiction.

and i don't mean traditional substance abuse (though he admits there has been as much in his life, especially with alcohol, his drug of choice is a bit more complex and maybe not so easy to spot on the surface for those unfamiliar with addiction).

in the show, we even see him mention that he's 'done 'em all' and there's *nothing* like temp v--and it's because temp v *amplifies* his *addiction* to the highest level it could exist on.

something else to note, there's a ton of stigma and widespread (ableist) misconception surrounding addiction still (which may be part of why people may not want to recognize it in billy), but it is absolutely a clinical mental disorder and people who suffer from it should be treated as *medical patients*, not reduced to violent criminals and scumbags. (fuck you drug war and prohibition, you are the root of organized crime and you're racist as shit.) it's also possible to become addicted to *anything*. and i mean *anything*.

if you can repeat a behavior and your brain no longer cares whether or not that behavior is causing you harm because there is a *compulsive* urge for that *repetition* or a specific result from it? that is addiction. money, anger, pain, violence, self harm, attention, love...

you'd think the last one might be okay, but it's not. it's an easy way to get caught in the infinite loop of an abusive relationship, just with promise of it. no delivery necessary.

but it doesn't have to be drugs that cause addiction. hell, gambling addiction is a thing all it's own that can get *incredibly* severe.

and listen, too much of *anything* can be horrible for you. fucking coconut will give you the runs if you eat too much that shit is *not* fun pun intended--

i digress.

in billy's case? he's actually addicted to two i just listed.

violence. and self harm.

i mentioned before that what drives billy has next to nothing to do with what happened to becky or becca.

there's a common misconception that, at the end of the day, billy does have some level of good intent behind his actions, and to a degree this is true in the *complete reverse* of what people often assume, and this is proven repeatedly in both the show (with just what we have seen) and comic (where its laid out too heavily to ignore).

setting aside the fact that there's *never* a good 'rEaSoN' to commit or even attempt *genocide* (EVER. i have ZERO patience for the constant apologism of this bullshit, SWEAR TO GAWD FANDUMB--) and billy's genocidal tendencies on their own, the idea that 'he goes after homelander for becca' or 'justice' has been completely debunked.

'justice is not vengeance'

something to always keep in mind.

but... in the first season? hughie called him out on this.

butcher calls him a 'disgrace to robin's memory', and hughie--bless his little heart, responds with 'i think i'm doing this *for* her.'

it's an interesting response, because hughie is essentially saying--

'you'll *die* for this woman, but that's not what she would have wanted. i'm going to *live* for robin, and for *annie*, because *that's* what she would have wanted.'

and he's absolutely right. billy loved becca, would have died for her. but he refuses to listen and *live* for her.

the group therapist too even before hughie. she literally laid it all out, front and center in the clearest way possible, 'it's a defense mechanism', and then butcher had his little meltdown just before telling hughie about becca, everything he can, including *using* other peoples tragedies and his own *specifically* to manipulate hughie and try and make sure *starlight* can't *save* him from what butcher is trying to turn him into.

*so that hughie stays stuck on his reason to die, instead of finding one to live.*

in the second season, *becca* herself calls him out on this, multiple times.

'you put me on this pedestal but i never knew how to save you'.

'--i didn't come to you, i went to vought--.'

and that's just it, becca (and becky in the comic) is *intimately* familiar with billy's *addiction* and the underlying mental health issues he *wouldn't address*. she didn't tell him what happened even after the shock of it because she *knew* that it would just become a reason for billy to *give in* and be his worst self to a degree where she would *lose him* regardless of what she felt or asked for from him.

she felt she had to *suffer in silence* to *protect him* from *himself*, something that ends up *destroying* her.

becca wanted to *save* billy, but more importantly, she wanted *him* to *save himself* because she *believed in him*, *so much*.

'i never wanted that for you.'

she doesn't want billy to drown and suffer or cause harm in his own hatred and addictions. she *loved* him so much so, that she was willing to *drown herself* if it meant she could save *him*. she loved him *too much*.

billy's mum too, even tries to help in her own way. (she is much less aware of billy's activity in the comic, but we'll come back to her. for the show, this was likely in response to seeing the news about *stillwell*, something his dad fucking *praised* him for)

'--that he wouldn't have this hold on you--'

billy's actions are almost entirely driven by the *addiction* his father forced on him. on doing the things that would make his 'daddy' *proud*. and the thing is, he's *fully aware* of this.

he constantly *says* that *becca* is his 'reason', that she was his *cure*, but she's the *excuse*. his *new addiction* and *self medication* (also billy, you fucking cunt you *know* what you do and have no leg to stand on when it comes to self medicating--)

both in the worst of what he does and his rejection of addressing his own traumas, and she is *unwilling* in this endeavor. she never wanted this hate to consume him, she never wanted all of this death with her name as the signature, *she never wanted billy to be his father*, much less be something much worse.

he even admits as much in the third season when he hallucinates lenny who tells him his actions would 'break becca's heart'

billy responds something along the lines of 'becca's dead, it doesn't matter what she thinks'. (a line presented in the comic even more harshly, but it drives the point home perfectly.)

when he sees lenny again in his nightmare--

'i'm not that bastard--.'

'come off it billy, you always have been. cause anyone who's ever loved you, you end up gettin' 'em killed, don't ya--.'

'--the last person on god's green earth tryin' to stop you from bein' a monster, and what do you do? drag him down to your level... when he dies... and he will... then no can stop you.'

OOF OUCH OWIE--. the lenny stuff hits so damn hard but it represents *perfectly* what butcher's own *internalized beliefs* are.

mallory calls him out on it literally every season.

'--but billy! not the others!'

'it's like asking a cockroach to not be a cockroach--'

'--because it wouldn't stop with just homelander--'

'this was never about ryan or becca, it was always selfish. the hate inside that you want to let loose on the world.'

'--i was wrong... you are your father, always have been...'

and then there's billy's subsequent impulsive reaction to push ryan away, and *be his father*.

but hell, even in gen v when mallory is speaking to shetty.

and truthfully, billy was even showing *withdrawal* symptoms at the beginning of the third season.

billy himself, even *self punishes*, picking fights he knows he *won't* win as a way to counterbalance *and* satisfy his own addiction, infinite loop. vicious cycle.. (ooh i will def be coming back to the big one here--), and we see this in one *HUGE* way, and in many many smaller ways, but even in the more literal sense of going to bars, starting trouble, and laughing or smiling when he's getting beat the fuck up or *losing*.

it's even highlighted in the show, billy *seeking out violence* and conflict whether he should or not, *especially* when unnecessary. getting his own face busted up and smiling because of it is something that happens multiple times in the comic (even on accident in one instance), and is def given a place in the show. it's easy to pass off as billy simply being a masochist (which is def true lmao he does admit as much), but there's also more to it than that and it goes hand in hand with his *addiction* and--

what he thinks he deserves.

billy *hates himself* so *severely* that he actually *does not believe* that he is capable of the *good* that others, such as lenny, becca, his mum, and hughie are willing to *see* in him. he *completely* believes it when others say that 'he is his father' (internalizes it, struggles with it, and frequently acts on it).

he puts on a show. bravado, posture, and 'confidence'. and he's so good at putting on that front, that he can fool himself, even for a moment. and those that believe it will even *enable* him. and the people he feels *nothing* for? again, he maintains the front. he lives his life *masking*, *faking it*--so fucking hard. homelander could never--

and it's not even necessarily the result of toxic masculinity. don't get me wrong, he def has some issues with that lingering (y'all, if you have *say* you're an 'alpha' and posture out your sweet little ass off 24/7, you're def *not* an 'alpha' lmfao), but it's more so his own *trauma* that forces him to *cling* to that.

but when he *loves*, and he loves *deeply*, he completely rolls over and shows his belly like a kitten<3... when he was with becky, he was happy and comfortable, and all of that *ridiculousness* just melted away completely... he didn't feel any need for it because he felt *safe*, because this constant *insecurity* and feeling of being *threatened* all the damn time looming overhead had suddenly cleared up with becky there.

it's not even so much that billy doesn't feel fear. he might not traditionally (at all if his amygdala is damaged), but considering the fight or flight response, billy's *default* setting literally *is* that *fight* response. he's the way he is because he is *always* afraid and he's been conditioned for it to manifest itself as *rage*.

we see bits of his love come through in a few moments he has with people he has genuine care for. (the way he loves his mum and she instantly calms him down is genuinely so sweet.)

but it's always gonna come back down to 'daddy dearest'.

because of him, *billy is afraid of living*.

and--

his father. *is proud of him*.

billy is *just like him* or *everything he wanted to be* as a *man*, or at least is compelled to *project* this on the surface. and everything in *billy* that *is* his father, *just like him*, is *everything* that billy *hates*. so it manifests into an *intense* self loathing and spiraled addiction that magnifies the worst of what his father *forced* on him.

he *doesn't want* to be *his father*, but he feels, and fully believes that *he already is*. his self hatred is another form of *hating his father*, because *he is that man's legacy*.

so *billy* doesn't *believe* that he deserves love or goodness or care from other people (a parallel we see in homelander, presented a bit differently.) so he 'doesn't care'. makes excuses to not care (about people in general, if not just the very *prominent* antisocial tendencies), or leave, or push them away, lashing out to give *them* the excuse to leave him, because he is *afraid* and in his own mind, *unworthy*.

he's *afraid* of being loved, of *losing* that love, of *hurting* those he loves. he is *afraid* of being his own father.

but it's all he's ever known, all he's ever been *conditioned* to be. intoxicated, ever present, it's this terrible thing that destroys him but he *can't* stop. *addiction*.

and what better way to protect those he loves than to keep himself as *far* away from them as possible? than to *make* them hate him. than to do the *wrong* thing, to *disappoint* them. self sabotage. self punishment.

he can't stop himself. he deserves it.

lather, rinse, repeat.

so what does that mean for homelander, or even the reason he goes after homelander? the *real* reason.

'there must be *some* good in him because homelander 'must be' this 'ultimate evil that *must* be stopped', right?

not really. he's a symptom of a much greater evil, but he was never the root of it. if billy really wanted to solve the problems at hand and get *justice*, he'd go after *vought*, NOT homelander.

homelander is not even the real villain in *billy's* mind, in all actuality.

what homelander *is*?

temptation.

he is... the *ultimate* final high for billy. in terms of addiction to both *violence* and *self punishment*.

he doesn't actually go after homelander because he wants to 'stop him' or even kill him. not really. there are times billy starts a fight *expecting* to *lose*, *wanting* it. homelander *is* one of those times to the most intense degree that billy could find. and he even senses this when they first meet--unnecessarily, privately insulting the man because why?

because he feels *threatened*. because he feels *insecure*. because if homelander is *truly good*, even with *all that power*--

then billy has no fucking excuse--

it is, in essence, the same exact reaction that lex luthor has to superman. forcing himself to *challenge* him because of a *constant* sense of *fear*. (except lex *is* afraid of dying, so 1000% a huge coward lmao--)

but~, when he finds out homelander is *bad*?

homelander is billy's *failsafe*

to stop the person he feels is the most terrible evil of all *and* to set the world on fire in the process. a way for billy to kill two birds with one stone. compelled by his addiction to *chase* this ideation relentlessly.

homelander is to billy--his ultimate end, self punishment, a death wish, a *suicide attempt*.

and a way to *unleash his hatred onto the rest of the world*, *to make it burn*, even after his death. (this would be why despite many many MANY warnings to *not* push homelander *because of the catastrophe this will ultimately instigate and the loss of life this is bound to result in*--billy does not give a shit about the potential consequences. he welcomes them--)

if homelander were a *nuke*, billy would want to *launch* him. right now, homie is more like the *demon core*, incredibly dangerous and in some instances lethal, but not *yet* explosive.

billy *wants* the *warhead*.

it was why he got *so excited* at the *chance* of homelander offering him 'scorched earth'.

the man read billy like an open fucking book, and set the bait--

y'all, in other words, homie straight up went to billy's house and offered *crack* to the *crack addict*--fuck yeah he's gonna take that offer!

homelander never actually perceives billy as a real threat *at all* (safe to say, this is the main reason he doesn't kill him. there's a bit of personal complex combined with the deals/blackmail/request involved, but this would also be why he doesn't *hesitate* to 'kill' billy at herogasm. he genuinely gives no fucks about this poor man or his many anal complexes and daddy issues beyond the mild entertainment he gets from him and just how *easy* it is to read billy or rile him up. maybe a *dash* of novelty being found in billy's obsession with him. i'll go into the homie side of things in depth maybe someday soon lol but for now--)

and here's the thing, homelander isn't the *only* failsafe. he is simply the *ultimate failsafe*

included in all the possible bad habits billy has is pawning off his *responsibility* and personal accountability, even his *will to do good* onto others.

i mentioned before that becca (becky) was like a new addiction for him. and she was. in a sense, billy was using her to self medicate. she loved him, gave him love and made him feel good, no pain, no shame--but also no pause to think about that pain, self hatred and self doubt and actively address it. she was a way to not worry about his own *goodness* because she was an *easy* reason for him to *want* to be good.

and something important to note?

billy feels that he has *cheated* on becca/becky *since* the day she left/died. (there's a whole ass deliciously intricate story there but i'm trying to avoid the spoilers lmao. kind of a freebie hint i guess.)

lenny and hughie similarly make an effort to *hold butcher back* and reach out to him. (everyone does honestly, but not everyone is so successful with it). and butcher lets them, but *also* removes the agency of his own choice in the matter.

he doesn't just *let them* make him *good*, he doesn't believe he's capable of stopping himself on his own--but he believes in *them* because they *are* good, *truly good*.

hughie all on his own is *another kind of failsafe* and lo and behold, even calls butcher out on this by the end of the third season (theme is prevalent in the comic a lil different but again spoilers lol):

'i don't think you want to do this. i think you want me to stop you.'

*ding*ding*ding*!

nail on the head, hughie... butcher does not believe he can stop himself. so he sets up *failsafes* to do as much.

and let me just say, it is *unbelievably* shitty of him to do that, to pawn off the responsibility of his own behavior, whether good or pure evil onto other people. but i get it. and it fucking breaks my heart for him.

because *that* is addiction. it feels like mind control. aggressive compulsion. you feel ashamed, and hate yourself, and don't care if you hurt yourself or even others. but you keep *hoping*, *wishing*, *leaving a breadcrumb trail* so that *someone*, *anyone*, will come along and--

*save you. from you.*

and when you stop believing in yourself, in your own willpower to fight against this *thing* that just completely *destroys* you from the inside out... without *anyone* on your side, what else is left to do but to numb the pain?

i was able to recognize billy's addiction right off the bat because i've *been* to a lot of the places he has been. including the addiction. and he makes me so *fucking* mad because it's like seeing a version of myself *still stuck*, *still lost*, *still trapped* by my own issues and self loathing, and all of the abuse i've gone through--

and the biggest fuck up, the biggest *abuser* is me.

i can't *escape* me. *no one* can escape *themself*.

that fucker breaks my heart to pieces because *i have been there*, and i know just how fucking hard it is to *be* there, just how much harder it is to *get out* and start to *learn*--*who is it you really wanna be? who are you without this drug?*

and something he even says in the comics on a few occasions is--

'i'm not really here, i'm somewhere else watching this happen'

asserting that he *truly* believes that he has *no control* over *what* he is. (in contrast with homelander, who feels the weight of something similar but more literally in some regard, and in relation to so many other aspects in his life with the world around him.)

billy butcher *is* the *true villain* of *his own story*

of his own making.

he's not after homelander or even vought. he doesn't blame society or even his father at this point. he blames himself. and he's *given up* entirely on fighting himself. he's looking for his *overdose*.

*that's homelander*

ain't that a kick in the head...

it's part of what makes their relationship and dynamic so incredibly electric and titillating. it's got nothing to do with becca or becky.

butcher sees homelander as an easy way out. as a way to control the narrative, *maintain his own*, and *stop the bad guy* without bringing someone *good*, like *hughie*, down to his level.

he *sees* the parallels, a kindred spirit. he *knows* the potential. and he wants to be the *spark* to light all that *gasoline*.

because then it won't be his fault anymore. his *guilt*. he'll have passed on his *curse*.

likewise, he actually goes after supes in general for a similar enough reason, and it ties in with why he *doesn't* go after vought directly.

billy actually *likes* the status quo. to a degree, *needs* it, *needs vought*

because *vought* is the *creator* of his *supply*, feeding this addiction. and we hear billy say this in both the comic and show--

'with great power comes the absolute certainty that you'll turn into a right cunt.'

and billy actually believes this--about himself.

when he says it about other supes and even his intense hatred of them, it is a *projection* of his own issues and what he believes to be true for himself (that he would do the absolute worst thing imaginable given the opportunity). and in a way, going after them is in some ways a metaphor for stopping and destroying himself, hating himself, as much as it is a way to maintain his addiction.

and--

maintain the narrative he has built--that he is the true villain.

and if that's the case, well... it takes a *hero* to stop a *villain*, right?

but also--y'all remember that scene in the suicide squad where polkadot man imagines everyone as his mum? how he imagines starro as his mum?

yeah, that.

that's basically billy. every fucking supe, including starlight, and kimiko, and let's *really* not talk about what this means about him sleeping with maeve in context with his 'supe=daddy' issues, but even the person he sees in the mirror. *all of them* are *his father*.

listen, i'm not kidding. billy's daddy issues are seriously severe, so fucking bad, i--

his actions aren't for becca or becky or ryan or justice. even he *knows* that's bullshit and admits as much (which just makes fandom denying it that much more fucked). but they're not even *just because* or because he's genocidal, antisocial, or anything else. he *does* want someone to stop him. he's sane enough to recognize his actions for what they truly are *behind* the mask.

billy's actions are a volatile and violent *cry for help*, because he never learned how to *ask*, or even how to *believe in himself*.

he never truly learned that *he never had to be his father*, and he didn't *need* becky or becca, lenny or hughie to *be good*.

i actually think billy's greatest magic trick is convincing even the audience and readers that he is a *total*, complete piece of shit. and don't get me wrong, he is *def* a huge, massive, incredibly rank and ripe piece of shit--.

and y'all, i'm sorry if you believed him and got played like a damn fiddle, him and homie def throwin' in some hard balls--

but he's also still human. he also still needs just as much if, honestly? maybe even more, fucking *help* than homelander. which kind of draws back into their parallels. the tomfoolery of fandom might have you believe that billy is less complex or more put together than homelander, but their situations go hand in hand and the evidence suggests (if not confirms) something quite different.

billy's plight and even goal in some sense is *convincing the rest of his world that he is a monster*. driven by the addiction his father gave him. enabled by the world around him.

homelander's? it's actually the complete opposite. his struggle is with *his world convincing him that he is a monster*, and in turn, against his own instincts, *growing* into that role. when in reality, he never got the chance to decide for himself, it was decided *for* him a long long time ago.

'i think, therefore i am.'

'i can, therefore i must.'

however, *our actions cannot define who we are, because we can choose our actions*. good or bad are not something you inherently *are*, they are something you *choose to do*.

it paints what in turn becomes quite the brutal and tragic picture when these two forces meet. homelander and billy are both of the mindset that they *don't have a choice*.

and this bit is a bit more of a personal thought, but regarding billy's mum, she was *becky*. she was sweet, and kind, and cared for her family more than anything. *it didn't matter what she suffered, she was willing to drown if it meant saving the people she loved*.

as much as i adore how cute becca and billy were, i don't think she would have saved him.

i think the implication is that she would have either 'drowned' trying and become his mum, history repeating itself in a vicious cycle as billy spread his disease to any child they could have.

or that she would have lost her mind. and in turn *become* the person billy spread his disease to, if not another enabler for him. if not billy's choice of drug, maybe she would have taken up something else and eventually overdosed. i would even say the show implies this outcome with both becca and hughie, as the more butcher pushes--the more worn down they get.

if you put enough pressure on someone--they break.

becca was *good* for him. but billy was so, so fucking *bad* for her.

it begs the question of whether or not billy *is* right, if he really is this monster, *fated* to become his father in the worse of ways. of whether or not it's too late for him.

he's certainly not 'normal' or 'right' or 'good' or even an 'anti-hero'. at best, you could maybe call him an 'anti-villain', he is meant to be the deuterantagonist.

it def doesn't help that every time he has the *chance* to do the right thing, *someone* goes and enables him, gives him a reason to do the *wrong* thing.

fucking maeve in that last episode of the third season. but she's def not the only one, and def not the only time. (and yes, if it wasn't clear enough, being completely fucking indifferent to killing *thousands* of people to go after *one* fucking guy is in fact, the *wrong* thing to do.)

butt.

rewatching the scenes with lenny and billy's reaction, and even the final fight, showed something of a *possible* silver lining.

billy *enjoys* rejecting his father. actually pretty fucking greatly if we're being honest. generally speaking, it's when he *rejects* his father and everything that man represents that billy is at his *happiest* (lmao the epitome of an unfulfilled submissive sweetheart and bratty bossy bottom~<3<3<3)

there's a moment, where soldier boy says something along the lines of--

'--fuck you. you're weaker than he is.'

in regards to homelander. it's sort of glossed over, but this is billy's reaction to essentially being called a 'disgrace' so to speak by a toxic 'alpha male'.

y'all see that? it's a smile. lmao a smirk.

this is a moment where billy is protecting *ryan* and keeping his promise to becca. it's a moment where billy is *doing the right thing*, all on *his own* (mostly lol i'm sure there's a roundabout way to justify it in his head). and i think that's key.

it's not just a moment he's proud of himself and has a legitimate fucking reason to be proud of himself, (oh btw, we shoulda *all* been proud of billy in this moment), it's a moment he's *breaking through what his father made him* and his own *addiction*.

and he's doing it *selflessly* and--*without setting that responsibility on another person*.

so we *know* he has it in him, he always has. even becky *in the comic* kept trying to convince billy that *he is capable of good without her*. and again, we actually saw this in the second season when becca and ryan were reunited and billy *changed* his plans, *for becca*, instead of doing the selfish thing and selling ryan back to vought.

but if billy doesn't believe it himself...

i don't think billy is right about himself. but it is very *very* difficult for someone to *correct course* so to speak, once they have their *core beliefs*, lay out their own destiny and start along a *self fulfilling prophecy*, something him and homelander *both* do.

enter ryan.

and suddenly (lol probably in part due to reading dear becky lol), there was a bit of... not so much new, as *confirmed* perspective in play after that rewatch, something to *look* for and ponder in regards to *why* ryan may have been added for this story, a question in mind--

'would it be wrong of *ryan* to want to save his father?'

was it wrong of becca or becky, hughie or lenny, even his mum, to want to save billy?

how would *billy* even begin to answer such questions?

a different answer for the two would be a clear hypocritical bias (which lol i would not put past billy, but i also wouldn't be surprised if he maintained consistent thinking by answering *yes* to both)

. . .

y'all...

i still can't say i'm particularly optimistic about things turning out alright for either gent or ryan, butt~<3

garth ennis literally made the saddest, most pathetic, deliciously sweet, perfectly precious, extra emo tsun tsun baby boi ever, and put him right under our noses.

some a y'all fucking sneezing all over him, straight up sleepin' on all his *best* bits. how are we not utilizing billy butcher *properly~<3<3<3*????

;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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myriad-writings · 2 years

Text

no one like you - b.h.

-billy hargrove x reader

-1.6k words

-a toxic pining yearning fwb situation because i cannot stop thinking about this asshole. happy ending tho, obviously

Your relationship with Billy was complicated.

Somewhat infuriating actually, partially because he was so frustrating and rough around the edges. But worst of all because you couldn’t stop thinking about him, and you knew you weren’t the only one he gave the time of day too. Still, though, you wanted to believe that you were special. Billy didn’t seem like the type of guy to let every girl stay the night or lay around with him after fucking, yet he let you.

Despite this, he was still hard to read. The things you knew about his personal and family life were things you figured out yourself, and he wasn’t big on sharing so you never asked for any extra info. You knew his dad knocked him around on a regular basis, and that was probably the reason he was so closed off.

Following your weekend routine with him, the two of you share a cigarette in comfortable silence, accented with the quiet rock music in the background that seemed to be playing whenever he was around, before you get up and start to get dressed and do your walk of shame home.

“Hey, are you sure you, uh.. you don't wanna stay over?” he asks with a clearing of his throat. Before you can answer, he rushes to add, “you can if you want, I don’t care either way.”

There it was. He does this often, where it seems like he opens up for half a second, makes it seem like he actually does like you and wants you around. Then the wall goes right back up. You’ve given up trying to knock it down, because if you let him know how much it bothers you then you’re certain he would just ridicule you. You just scoff at him, “Are you gonna drive me home in the morning? Before everyone wakes up?”

He grumbles something about how he wouldn’t get up that early, so you assume probably not and continue putting your shoes on. “Alright then, I’ll just walk home in the dark,” you say with a guilting tone of voice, trying to get him to drive you home. He never does.

“You live a block away, you won’t die.” He just dismisses you while lighting another cigarette. How infuriatingly like him. “Just don’t get caught sneaking in.”

“Yeah, whatever I know.” You’re already out the door. Everyone in his house is asleep or out for the night so you just leave quietly through the front door. Walking home, you find yourself in the same emotional turmoil as every other weekend you spend with him. You gotta stop doing this to yourself, you know he doesn’t give a shit about you. You just can't stop thinking about how he takes you out before, how he lets you sit with him after. He doesn’t do that with any other girls, all your friends have told you so. But it all leads to sex every single time anyways, so what does it even matter?

Billy was feeling some similar way, however, beating himself up over the fact that he just doesn’t know how to act around you. Contrary to what everyone believes, including you, he’s stopped sleeping with any other girls. He only ever sees you. He just can’t get you off his mind, but when he tries to say something to express that, his fear of rejection takes over and it just comes out mean. He’s been on the defensive for so long that he doesn’t want to give you the chance to knock him down, and he’s almost certain you will. He’s not fit for an actual relationship, despite wanting to be, and he knows that. It doesn’t stop him from asking you to stay over, in his own cryptic way. Or trying to just get a little more time with you by taking you out for a drive or something before bringing you back home. It’s all for nothing, he thinks to himself before turning over and going to bed.

Over the next week or two, you make a resolution to distance yourself from Billy. You’re sick of it, and the emotional stress and becoming too much. Your friends agree and encourage you to ignore his calls and come up with excuses whenever he talks to you in school. And you are a little happier, you don’t have to worry about reading into his weird signals and trying to decipher how he actually feels under that hard exterior. You do miss him though, but you try to push that to the side and continue with your love life elsewhere. You’ll get over it eventually.

The idea of you ‘getting over it’ makes Billy want to die. He knows he’s not the best communicator, but you couldn’t tell that he obviously cares about you? He becomes a bit more of an asshole than usual, shrugging off even the people he usually tolerated at school, since that’s the closest he has to friends. Subconsciously, the selfish part of him hopes you notice, but he knows you’ve already decided not to care. That just makes him more bitter and angry.

Sometime that following day, you’re outside talking to some kid from your math class. You’re about to walk home when James asks if you want to set up a study date for sometime later that week. He’s not usually the type of guy you would go for but he’s sweet, and you think it might not hurt to spend some time with a genuinely nice guy for once. You write your number on a corner piece of paper for him, and just as you finish the last digit, you feel the weight of an arm around your shoulders. Of course.

“Hey doll, I was looking for you to give you a ride home, I didn’t see you by your locker today.” Billy has this charming smile on, the one he uses around parents so they don't close the door in his face when he comes to pick their daughter up. “Who’s this you’re talking to?” He shifts his glance to James, who looks like he realized he’s somewhere he shouldn’t be.

Before you can answer, James excuses himself so he can leave with his face intact, and you turn to fully face the asshole that interrupted you. “What the fuck is your problem now?” His smile falls and he bites the inside of his cheek, looking somewhere between conflicted and pissed. “Get in the car,” he says through clenched teeth as he starts walking you towards the Camaro with a hand on your back. Usually you wouldn’t listen, but you know he won’t hit you and you’re kind of curious to hear what he has to say for himself.

You wait until both of you are in the car before turning in your seat to look at him expectantly. “What was that little display? Am I not allowed to talk to other people?”

“Well you haven’t bothered to talk to me in almost two weeks!” He snaps, hitting the steering wheel with the heel of his palm. “So you tell me what the fuck that’s about first. I’ve called you like eight fuckin’ times.” He’s not looking at you, he doesn’t want to, not when he’s angry. He doesn’t even want to get angry at you but here he is.

You, on the other hand, are staring right into his soul as your mouth falls open. “And why should I have spoken to you? So you can invite me over for a fuck and then make me walk home at midnight afterwards? And then not speak to me until the next time you’re horny? Yeah, that makes it really encouraging to have a conversation with you, dick.”

“You didn’t have to throw yourself at him. Thought you were my girl, anyways.” Your eyes grow impossibly bigger at his mumbling.

“Throwing myself at him? B, I gave him my number because he asked for it. And I didn’t think that our once a week meetup meant that I was ‘your girl’, I’m not even the only girl you sleep with.”

He finally turns to face you. “Are you that dumb? You haven’t noticed?” You sit silently, appalled, so he continues. “I haven’t taken another girl out for months, much less slept with one. You’re the only person I give any of my time to. You think I would keep your girly ass shampoo in my house if I only wanted you around for a fuck? I just don’t know how to talk to you, you have to meet me in the middle somewhere or just tell me you hate me. But don’t go fucking ghost on me, that’s not fair and you know it.” He gets quieter at the end, surprised that he just said all of that to you. He honestly thought you knew, it was obvious to him. But you don’t know him like that because he never let you.

“I didn’t know any of that.” You say softly, looking down. “You’re impossible to read, Billy. I… I’m sorry, for ghosting you.”

He lets out a heavy sigh next to you, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, too. I’m not… easy to deal with.” You scoff lightly in agreement. “But I wanna try harder. I really do.”

You sit there and process for a moment, and he thinks you’re just going to tell him to go to hell before you smile at him, “We can talk about this more over dinner I think, I’ll be ready at 7. Just a regular, innocent first date.”

“Deal,” he says, starting the car finally with a small and hopeful smile. “And I’ll drive you home after this time,” he jokes.

“You better be serious, B, my feet hurt today,” you grin, leaning back in your seat and listening to his infectious laugh.

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove fluff #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine

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metalmonki · 4 months

Text

The Dating Odyssey: Eddie

Eddie Munson/Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington/Jim Hopper/Jonathan Byers x fem!reader

3.5k word count

fluff, idiot reader, reader who can't say no, choose your own adventure-ish

Part 1 / Steve's Ending / Jim's Ending

That night you had a fitful sleep. You couldn’t stop thinking about who you would choose and how you were supposed to let the other guys know you weren’t interested. You gave up trying to get any decent sort of sleep at 4am. You instead choose to hop up and get ready for work. You showered, dressed, had breakfast and your morning coffee and waited for the time to roll around for you to go to work. When they time finally rolled around you collected all the essays Carol left you to mark and packed them into your bag. A smile playing on your face. You couldn't wait to see her reaction when all her students got A's it was also a great distraction to the current situation. You grinned as you made the quick walk from your apartment to your car. The whole drive to Hawkins High you kept glancing over your bag. If Eddies plan worked and this landed Carol in hot water you would have to find a way to thank him. When you reached the school you quickly grabbed your bag and hurried through the doors. You had not taken 5 steps inside when you were stopped by a voice behind you.

“Ah Miss y/l/n just who I wanted to see”

“Of Principle Higgins sir how can I help you?” You turned around facing him

“I need you to cover Miss Perkins English classes today she has come down sick and can't make it”

“Oh I would be delighted to sir” You smiled a little too excited

“Okay well her classes rotate with yours so you should be fine let me know if you need any help” Principle Higgins walked off towards his office

Taking Carols classes meant you weren't going to be leaving early today like a normal Monday but at least you could pull off Eddies plan without Carol knowing until it was way, way too late to change anything. You were so going to have to track him down after school let out to tell him though, he was going to freak out. You headed off to your classroom to begin setting up for the day. You knew you were going to need to use your time this morning as well as recces and some of lunch to make sure all the classes went smoothly. The bell rang at 8:30 and most of the students filled into your room. Actually it was almost all of the students except of course the usual suspects Lucas, Dustin, Mike, Will and Max. About 5 minutes into your lesson the classroom door slammed open and all 5 of them came crashing into the class tripping over each other, yelling and screaming.

“Oh hay y/n, uh sorry we're late we all kinda slept in” Dustin spoke up

“You all slept in? I find that hard to believe” You crossed your arms trying to be serious but at the same time wanted to laugh at them

“Yeah, we were playing DnD at Eddies trailer like all day yesterday and it got super late so Eddie let us stay because his a really nice guy like that and anyway as I said he let us stay overnight and we all really slept in and it's like extremely difficult to wake Eddie up cause he sleeps almost completely naked and none of us really wanted to go wake him so we had to flip a coin and Mike lost but he was way to much of a wuss to go into Eddies room so...”

“Dustin, Dustin, ssh just take a seat and see me after class, way to much information dude geez” it took all your strength not to laugh and the image of an almost naked Eddie wasn't helping either.

The party apologised and took their seats while you resumed the lesson. Today's lesson was a practical lesson. After you re-explained the instruction everyone broke off into their lab groups to do the experiment. Many of the other students where whispering amongst each other about Dustin using your first name and the casualness between the group and you. The obvious concern was if their all friends with the teacher does that mean the teacher will give them an easy pass. But just because they were your students and you guessed your friends doesn't mean they were going to get an easy pass. Senior science passed quickly but before you could move on to Eddies plan you needed to speak with Dustin and the others. The group remained seated and waited for all the other students to file out of the classroom before saying anything.

“Hay we're really sorry for being late to class it wont' happen again” Mike spoke up when the last student left the class

“I don't care about that” You said “Just try not to make me almost burst out laughing in front of my class again”

“We can do that” Lucas smiled

“Great whose class do you have next?”

“Carols english class” Dustin rolled his eyes

“Oh sweet so I'm teaching her class today so I won't have to write you guys a note, I just have one quick guestion”

“Sweet best teacher her” Max cheered

“Whats your question?” Mike asked

“Where does Eddie live?”

“He has the trailer across from Max out at the trailer park” Will spoke up

“We're headed out to Max's after school if you want us to show you?” Dustin offered

“Yeah sure I'll drive yous but uh someone may need to sit on the floor or the back seat will be very crowded”

“Oh Eddies going to pick us up so we can split between the cars” Dustin said

“I am so going with y/n I am not getting in the back of Eddies van again” Max said

The kids slung their bags over there shoulders and you all began walking in one large group to the next class room. Once they were seated you retrieved the large pile of essays from your bag. As you called the roll you had them come up and collect their essays. Whispers broke out all over the classroom as students started to realise they all got As. You had a small giggle at their excitement before calming them down and explain the class for the day. It was simple read the next few chapters in the book they had been reading and answer a simple question for homework or they could do it during class if they had time. When the recces bell range you were super excited about the rest of the day and how the rest of the students would react to their As. Recces was spent preparing for your next science lesson and picking chapters and questions for the next 2 English classes. The science lesson went by in a blur due to your excitement to get to the next English lesson. You may have been more excited and moved faster then your students when the bell rang to signal the end of class. Normally this is the point of the day where you would be headed to the staff room to finalize your paperwork for the day so you could leave at lunch time. But instead you had 3 more English classes all of which you decided to keep simple. Read the chapters answer the question. Most of Carols students wouldn't be taking home homework tonight if they worked fast enough. You took a seat at the teachers desk called for silence and began calling names and handing out essays. Just like before the As were met with excited whispers. Rinse and repeat until the last bell of the day sounded. A smirk broke out on your face as you raced to pack your bag and get out of there for the day. When you entered the hallway you were met with a commotion.

“Excuse me! Coming through! Move people move!” Dustin's voice rang out down the hall

Soon the group of misfit teens stood before you Dustin in the lead.

“You lot ready to go” You laughed

“Been ready to leave since I walked in this morning” Dustin threw him arms around in over exaggerated movements

“Great I just need to drop some stuff in the office and we'll be good to go if someone wants to go let Eddie know the plans” You looked between the kids

“I'll go” Dustin said running off

You shook your head at the boy and started towards the office with the others trailing behind you. They all apparently wanted to go in your car because they didn't trust Eddies driving, not to mention his van didn't have any seats in the back. You made your way quickly to the office, dropped all your paperwork on your desk and left before anyone could pull you up. You quickly made your way to the school parking lot the group still chatting away behind you. They always seemed to have something to chat about. You'd even noticed them passing letters in class but you never pulled them up on it because the always done there work and it didn't really seem like much of a distraction. You opened the doors to the parking lot to find Eddie conveniently parked next to your car. Dustin had already climbed into Eddies van and was impatiently yelling at you all out the window. You and the kids basically jogged over to your car. You opened up the car from them before quickly turning to Eddie who was standing patiently beside his van.

“Hay Munson” You smiled

“Hay y/l/n did the plan work?” Eddie had an evil smirk

“Thats for me to know and you to find out, now get in that death trap and lead the way” You laughed climbing into your car.

Eddie quickled climbed into his van and roared the engine to life. He speed out of the parking lot, leaving you to curse and try to speed to keep up with him. The last thing you needed was a speeding ticket or worse to be pulled over by the sheriff. But you made it to the trailer park without incident. Eddie brought his van to a stop outside what you guessed to be his trailer. You pulled up alongside the van. The teens immediately started falling over each other to get out of the car. Once out they ran screaming at each other to a trailer almost directly across from the one you were park outside of.

“I'm guessing that's Max's place?” You said to Eddie

“It sure is, and this is my castle” Eddie stretched his arms out while looking at his trailer “So sweetheart is there a reason you wanted to know where I lived?” Eddie smirked at you

“Oh well I wanted to come tell you how your plan worked out”

Eddie motioned to the front door of the trailer. He went first holding open the front door like a gentleman. Someone had really raised this man right. You stepped into Eddie trailer and couldn't help but look around. You found yourself stood in Eddies open lounge and kitchen area. The walls where decorated with mugs and caps. His uncle Wayne's he told you when he noticed you look. He guided you down the hallway that stood just off the kitchen. The hallway was small and had only two other doors in it. One lead to a tiny bathroom and the other was Eddie's room. And it was exactly what you thought Eddies room would look like. The guitar he played the other night hung on the wall next to a mirror that was almost covered in everything heavy metal. He had heavy metal band posters on the walls and a recorder player with a large pile of records and cassettes next to it. The room was a messy, the bed unmade. It truly matched the man that lived in it.

“I thought you said your Uncle lived here too?” You said

“Oh he sleeps on the couch, his never really home anyway his always working” Eddie shrugged “Now how did our plan go?”

You gave Eddie a big grin before jumping at him. Eddie despite being taken by surprise was able to react fast enough to catch you wrapped his arms under you butt to hold you up. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist.

“It worked perfectly Eds!” You giggled “And guess what Carol wasn't even there today so she had no idea what's just happened”

“Yeah Henderson wouldn't shut up about his A” Eddie chuckled

You stopped giggling and moved back from Eddie. He placed you gently on the floor but kept you in his arms. One of his hands came up to move a stray hair away from your face. Before you could react his lips where on yours. The kiss was full of love and passion. You found your hands moving back around Eddies neck and coming to a rest in his wild curly hair. His arms where wrapped around you waist holding you firmly against him. You never wanted that kiss to end. There was something in that kiss, something that seemed to make your decision for you. Your heart wanted Eddie but your brain was screaming at you that you couldn't go into a relationship with Eddie built on lies. You needed to tell him about the other dates. Steve was right they all deserved to know. You broke the kiss. You pulled back and looked up at Eddie.

“I'm sorry I couldn't help myself” Eddie blushed

“No Eddie I'm sorry” You sighed looking down to the carpet not wanting to face the man in front of you. The man whose heart you were probably about to shatter.

“You've done nothing wrong” Eddie placed a finger under your chin forcing you to look up at him.

“I lied to you Eddie” Your eyes started to fill with tears.

“Lied? About what?” Eddie tried to chuckle

“I did go on a date with Jonathan” You said “And with Steve”

“Shit, shit, shit” Eddie put his hands on his head and turned away from you

“I'm sorry Eds, I also went on a date with Billy and Hop over the weekend too” Might as well give him the whole picture you thought

“4 other dates, Jesus Christ!” Eddie was trying to keep his voice down but he was now pacing his room “I...I need time to think”

Eddie took off out of his trailer leaving you alone. You heard his van roar to life. The sound tear your heart to shreds. You fought back the tears that were about to fall and left Eddies trailer. You walked across the road to Max's trailer. You could see the teens peeking out a window clearly interested in what was happening between you and Eddie. But when they seen him speed off and you come walking out on your own they quickly ducked away from the window clearly not wanting to get caught. You knocked on the door of Max's trailer and she was super quick to answer.

“Oh y/n your still here” Max tried to act like she hadn't just seen you walk across the road from Eddies

“Yeah, uh, I'm actually about to head off and just wanted to see if anyone here needed a lift home” You said trying to sound happy

“No we're good here, Steve and Nancy where going to give us all lifts home” Dustin called out

“No problems, see you at school tomorrow” You called back

You waved to Max and made your way back to your car. You made the drive back to your apartment slow. So slow in fact that you got pulled over by none other then the sheriff himself. You cursed silently to yourself and wiped at the tears that had stained your face. You pulled the car over safety, Hop pulling in close behind you. Hopped climbed out of his car and walked towards your face head down not paying attention writing something in a note book. He only looked up when he got to your car.

“You do realise you were driving way below the speed limit right?” He said looking up “y/n what are you doing all the way out here?”

“Breaking hearts apparently” You sniffled

“Oh hay honey what's the matter?” Hop opened your car door and kneeled down beside you

“I just told Eddie Munson that I went on dates with not only him but you and 3 other guys this weekend” You spilled out before you could stop your self.

“Oh well that's impressive” Hop chuckled

“Your not mad”

“Oh I'm fricken' furious” Hop stood up “But ain't much I can do about it, just try to go the speed limit” Hop slammed your door a little too hard before walking back to his patrol car.

You sat in silence for a few minutes gathering your thoughts before starting on your way back home. Just as you pulled into your parking spot out the front of your building it started to pour down. Just what you needed you thought. The weather was just as miserable as you. You sat in your car and watched the rain run down the windscreen. You left your umbrella inside and you really didn't feel like getting wet. The plan was to wait for a break in the rain then make a run for it. You sat in your car for almost an hour with no signs of the rain stopping. It was then that you spotted a familiar mop of curly hair. Except the usually wild bouncy curl's where now soaked and flat clinging to the face of their owner. Eddie Munson was running through the rain and right to your door. He didn't see you sitting in the car. Instead he ran straight past and under the small amount of cover the front awning of your building provided. He rang the buzzer for your apartment and waited. You sat in shock, your brain racing to process what your eyes were seeing. Eddie pressed your buzzer a few more times but when there came no answer he dropped his shoulders and walked back out into the rain. You couldn't let him leave, you needed to apologise for everything, you needed to try to make things right. In one swift movement you were out of the car and standing on the side walk. Eddie had his back to you, walking slowly away.

“Eddie!” You shouted

Eddie spun on his heels. He jogged back over to you while you stood frozen in the rain. It was like a scene from a sappy romantic movie.

“You didn't answer the door” Eddie said coming to a stop in front of you

“I was sitting in my car” You said pointing to your car

“Look y/n I'm so sorry for everything” Eddie grabbed your hands “I love you, you drive me crazy in all the best ways, I want to be with you, I want to be yours and only yours forever, I spoke to Steve, Jonathan and Billy, I told them what you did and I told them I wouldn't force you to pick and they shouldn't either. It should be up to you. I don't know why you choose to go on so many dates, I don't know if you even liked any of us to begin with, I don't know if you love me as much as I love you, or if you want to be with me or if you've chosen someone else. All I do know is I couldn't let you go without tell you exactly how I feel”

You didn't know how to responded to Eddies speech. You didn't think there was any words good enough to say to something like that, so you did the one thing you knew would get across what you were feeling. You wrapped your arms around Eddie neck and pulled him into a kiss. Something Eddie accepted without delay. He wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you flush against him. Your lips moved perfectly together like two pieces of a puzzle. You were both completely soaked by this point but neither of your cared. Anyone walking past would think you were trying to completely every romantic cliché ever invented. You eventually pulled apart trying to fill your lungs with much needed air. Eddie smiled down at you still holding you in his arms. This all felt so right. You knew you found the one for you.

“Do you want to come inside and have a hot shower?” You asked

“That would be wonderful it's freezing out here” Eddie laughed as you ran to the front door of youe apartment.

#jim hopper #eddie munson x reader #jim hopper x reader #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #jonathan byers #jonathan byers x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things

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