Kirk: Two bros, chillin' in a hot tub! Five feet apart 'coz they're not gay!
Spock:
Spock: You are my bondmate.
Kirk:
Spock: And you are on my lap.
Kirk:
Spock:
Spock: Literally everything you just said was inaccurate.
679 notes
·
View notes
Tendou: I'm going for a walk.
Ushijima: Let me know if you see any good cows.
Tendou: Obviously I’m going to tell you if I see any good cows.
163 notes
·
View notes
HAIKYUU READING HEAD CANONS —TENDOU SATORI!! ☆
Tendou is the type of person who has three different secret languages that he can fluently speak and write in. If he doesn’t know a word he’ll make up a new one and use it from now on or make what he calls a ‘temporary lexicon arrangement’ where he makes a new word only for that occasion. He’s really proud of it but never told anyone about it. Sometime he speaks to semi in the language and just loves seeing him get frustrated like ‘I swear I’ve heard you say that word last week what does it mean.”
Also, when he’s bored with studying, he’ll put the most brain-rotting words in place of the important nouns: “okay so if I’m getting this right the peppa-pig is located in the ohio-level three gyat. It’s function is to rizz the memory, intelligence and the…one-two-buckle-my-shoe..? Sounds about right.”
(this is also another language he understands, and it helps him understand the material)
42 notes
·
View notes
last week
Yearbook rep: “Hey guys! Remember to submit the team photo for the yearbook until this Friday!”
Yamagata & Tendō: >:3
next practice
Yamagata: “Was it really worth it?”
Tendō: “If you’d asked me three hours ago, I would have said yes. Now? Not so sure.”
Kawanishi: “Mad respect for actually submitting it though.”
Shirabu: “Don’t praise them! They were just too dumb to ever consider the possibility that it gets found out by Washijō!”
Reon: “You sure had fun posing for the picture though, Shirabu” *laughs*
Ushijima: “We might regret it now, but we’ll look back on those memories fondly in a few years.”
Semi: “If we’re still alive by then…”
Goshiki: “I’m so sorry! I won’t participate in such shenanigans ever again!!”
Washijō: “I see you’re still able to talk! 50 more sprints up the mountain!!”
Everyone: “Yessir!”
87 notes
·
View notes
haikyuu!! as things my friends and I have said
Some of these were edited a little to make more sense in Haikyuu context :]
Tendou: Coach Washijo has to let us summon Satan in the middle of practice.
•••
Atsumu: Why v@pe when you can suck watermelon lollipops?
•••
Terushima: You cannot aggressively beat the Camila Cabello out of me
•••
Shirabu: Some people should be shot, but some people get to be president again, ha ha ha.
•••
Tendou: My insanity would probably be the most potent drug in the world
•••
Oikawa: I’m a homosexual, heheheheheh
•••
Nishinoya: See, you can achieve greatness even with short legs
•••
Tendou: Arson is good. It’s a great pastime. Like, bored? Go burn down a building!
•••
Hinata: BYE DAICHI-SAN
Daichi: I’m not for sale
•••
Shirabu: I feel like a spear went through my head right here (points to middle of forehead) and came out at the back here
Tendou: I’M A UNICORRRN
•••
Ukai Keishin: (spectating Karasuno antics) Some people end up in the zoo
•••
Kageyama: (on the way to the training camp) oh my god I will EAT the next traffic light that turns red
•••
Semi: What about you? Don’t you say that you eat children?
Tendou: I mean I do but that’s different because I’m a human
•••
Nishinoya: ROLLING ON THE FLOOR GOING FERAL CRUNCHING ON THE FLATSCREEN TV LIKE A MEIJI CRACKER
•••
Ushiwaka: I am at Daiso. Need anything?
Tendou: sanity
•••
Sakusa: Are you fucking dumb?
Atsumu: Yeah, how’d ya know?
•••
Tanaka: I’LL KILL YOU ALIVE— oh wait crap I made myself sound stupid again
•••
Yaku: one more time Lev makes a height joke will rip off all of his hair and then shout ‘WIG SNATCHED’ really loud
•••
Tendou: I’ll bring you on a date night in Paris
Ushiwaka: what?
Tendou: what?
•••
Kyoutani: I have this urge to bite people. But not in a sexual way, just NOM
129 notes
·
View notes