Unpopular opinion but the reason being a teenager sucks is less to do with hormones and social cliques and more to do with the fact adults fucking hate teenagers. The fact that adults expect teenagers to be able to take on adult responsibilities yet don't deserve rights of an adult. They don't see teenagers as human beings and they aren't prepared to see kids with their own formed identities and humanity. Teenagers are so sexualized and seen as needing to take on more and more adult responsibilities. Yet when they want rights and humanity they are denied. The years your brain spends wanting nothing more than to form an identity are being taken away from you. Teenagers are essentially being kicked out of social spaces unless they have an extra 40 dollars lying around anytime they want to go out. Teenagers being kicked out of the mall just for existing or groomed into the school to prison pipeline. And now creating legislation to keep them off the Internet. Our society hates teenagers. And does everything we can to hurt them. The fact that anyone makes it out of their teenage years without trauma is a fucking miracle frankly.

“So much time, you can waste it. But for some of us, there's only today, and what you do today matters - in the moment, and maybe into infinity... But I didn't know any of that... Until right before I fell.”

Before i fall (2017)

What do you like about Tori Spring? In response to @not-a-chance-in-heckity-heck

Sorry for the long post.

I could wirite a poem about this. Many teenagers who read solitaire say that thy really like Tori, but if she had been a real pearson in real life I don’t think the would. If she was actually real, people wouldn’t like her so match . And that’s because she is an introvert , anti-social, she never takes part in social svents, she never goes to parties ecc. In less words she dosen’t fit the modern teenagers girl standards , the happy and exciting girl standards among our society . So I don’t want to say I “like” her, I just think she is the most realistic character I ever read about. I think some people (adults in particular) have a compleatly different vision of teenage years compared to actual teenagers. Sometimes when I watch a film or a tv serie about teen drama I get so angry, because things are not like that in real life. Teenage life is not that exciting, colorful and happy. People in real life are not like this: the are not that pretty, not that kind, not that happy. A lot of time, for a teenager, life is just a constant miserable repeating of some constant miserable events that keeps going every day, always ,without an end. And that’s what I find so special about Tori and the whole book: Tori is not like this. She is just like a real pearson, who is not pretending that things are actually good, she knows that her life is a boring repeating of events just like any other life of any other girl like her, and she admid it. She is so realistic because she dosen’t want to wake up at the morning, she has bad grades , not many friends, she eat, she sleep and she listent to music when she’s bored.She is realistic because she feels something. We could say the same for Michael Holden Who is not just an happy boy, he has problems, he has feeling and that makes him human, real. Anyway, Tori in the book basically has a shitty life ( witch is so relatable) and the thing I like most is that she dosen’t ever try to deny it or to fix it in any way possible.

( credits to this tiktoker: @brooke.sfs)

This is beautiful 🥹😩🩷

Lol

These seem fitting right now lol

( IF I REUSE PICS IGNORE THAT- I forget which pics I’ve used and I’m too lazy to check……)

I'm so afraid to feel

It's hard to be a kid that asks for help.

When I was in elementary school I was struggling with ADHD and isolation from my peers. It was nearly impossible for me to stay on task. I spent most of my day talking to myself out loud. Of course, my teacher found this disruptive and sent many warnings home to my parents that I was completely unable to stop interrupting class and that I needed to be disciplined. My mother tried many punishments to curb my behavior. I was grounded, screamed at, held in lunch detention, sat out at recess. I spent a year getting spanked every single day when I came home. At her wits end my mother threatened to come into school with me every day until I learned to act right. She had a whole speech about doing her hair up in curlers and dressing in a robe and slippers in order to humiliate me in front of my peers, who she knew I was already ostracized from. She said i would have to sit at a desk with her alone and away from my classmates as if that were a threat. When she asked me if I would like that I agreed immediately. i knew with my mom there she'd be able to help me with the work I struggled with, she'd be able to keep me focused and my teacher would never yell at me in front of the class again if my mom were there.

She did not in fact come to school with me. When I started talking about how excited I was about the idea she only became quiet and didn't speak for the rest of the car ride. Over the next several weeks as I continued to struggle I asked her several times to come to school and help me, she only told me that she didn't have time.

Eventually, I figured out that if I behaved badly enough I would be sent to ISS in the library, where I had access to all the textbooks I needed and I could work at my own pace with fewer distractions. This worked for a year until eventually they figured out that i was getting in trouble on purpose and banned me from ISS.

When I was in the fifth grade I had an A in every class except math, which I was constantly struggling to pass. I had several meetings with the leaders of the gifted and talented program who were trying to figure out why I had such a low grade in only 1 class. They tried all sorts of incentives to get me to bring my grade up, they offered to let me join the program if i could get all As. They offered me access to the higher reading level books in the library. They offered to let me participate in some Academic competitions and the rewards I'd get if we won. They even let me come to a handful of the fun "smart kid" English classes with floor discussions and poetry readings. They did not offer me any tutoring. When my grade did not go up they gradually lost interest in me. I was so disappointed that my parent came up to the school to find out what happened and they were informed that since my grades did not qualify me they would pay tuition instead. I was never admitted to the program.

Because of that incident and the introduction of Division into my math coursework, I had a series of breakdowns that led to me being put in a troubled kid therapy program. part of the program was supposed to be that I could leave class anytime I felt I was on the verge of having a meltdown and go to the counselor's office instead. I was diligent in following the guidelines, I took my work with me down to the office and sat alone to do my work, occasionally asking the counselor for help with the work. I had no more breakdowns after I was given a medium to regulate myself with. And because of that the "privilege" was taken away from me for abusing it. when I "clearly didn't need it."

I spent all of middle school in and out of similar programs all offering to help me deal with my feelings but none of them benefiting me academically. On two separate occasions, I asked to join the tutoring programs or the programs for kids that struggled academically. I was either outright declined or they administered a written test to see if i qualified and I didn't score low enough.

Despite advocating for myself constantly every single person I spoke to was convinced that it was an emotional problem and not an academic problem. Counselors always liked to ask me what they could do to help me help myself and I was adamant about receiving one on one tutoring for math. The ones that didn't immediately shut me down and kick me out spent the whole meeting discussing me taking AP classes in the subjects I was excelling in instead of addressing my problems with math; as if that would make up my grade average. Every meeting was structured as a punishment and when i tried to receive actual support i was iced out.

When I did my own research and realized that I likely had Dyscalculia I was told that i needed to get diagnosed in order to receive any accommodations. supposedly there was a woman who worked at the school that could get me signed up for and administer the test. She had a corner office upstairs, I know it well because i visited so many times. I went everyday for the first month. Then sporadically through out the rest of the year. I received conflicting information about her schedule but no matter when i showed up the office was always locked. I left my information with every councilor, with the teachers in the neighboring rooms, and taped to the office door. To this day i do not believe that woman actually existed.

My last year of highschool I was facing the possibility of not graduating despite the fact that I had Exceptional grades other than math and that I only really needed to take math classes for my last year since i had all other relevant credits. I was finally admitted into the credit recovery course and thankfully met the only math teacher in my life that ever gave a fuck about me. I scored high enough in my classes that year to graduate but i still failed the math portion of the SATs as i did every years. The madness did not stop once i got to college because i was barred from taking any math courses until i could retake and pass the SATs.

I searched high and low for a tutor that would take an adult clients looking for help with SAT prep. because of the area i live in i have found obsoletely no one. all available programs within two hours of where I live are for children. I've been told I should have asked for help sooner.

So if you're a kid that thinks that no one is trying to help you they just want you to stop being a problem...you're probably right.

And anyone who is demoralized now because you think you should have advocated for yourself more instead of wallowing in your own missery through your teenhood. I promise you us overachieving loud annoying know it all kids aren't doing any better. No one was rooting for us either.

I love the way you throw your head back everytime you laugh.

I thought I could stare at you all the time and never get bored, but I am bored. I need more.

I need your arms around my neck.

I need our lips to touch.

I want to wake up to your messy hair and the scars on your skin.

I want to openly love you.

I want to send you funny stuff and tell you everything about my life.

I want that to happen between us.

I want it.

I am fulfilling another teenhood dream of mine this year for my upcoming birthday - Today I purchased MJ themed party decorations! I'm so excited lol. Balloons, cake topper, banner, the whole nine yards!

Some people in my family will probably judge me but oh well LOL

I'll show a picture when everything is set up!

(me happy dancing)

Nah, cause this is too real, especially if you're already struggling with believing someone will ever genuinly love you.

Me every day since I turned 11.

the other day my (hating) mother told me, after i told her i was really sleepy even after eating well all day, "young people can get tired too" and explained how it probably was to all the reading and thinking i've been doing for my career. i don't know, she has dismissed mine and my sister's struggles and pain ever since we were preteens and it feels weird to get told that something else i can't control it's not my fault and even okay.

i personally really don't think you can get sleepy from reading and thinking but still, it was a bit nice to be told that.

Jim