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darkestcorners · 2 years

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polarity | christmas special one-shot

— Pairing: yandere!jungkook x reader (f)

— Genre: yandere

— Warnings: obsessive & unhealthy behavior, manipulation , gaslighting , cheating, mentions of mental health, mentions of childhood neglect/abuse, dubious consent

— Word Count: 7.8k

— Songs to listen to for this drabble: Sparks by Coldplay, ‘tis the damn season by Taylor Swift, The Wisp Sings by Winter Aid, Repeat Until Death by Novo Amor

Summary: You spend Christmas with Jungkook against your better judgment and willingness….but as some revelations come to light about his childhood, you’re surprised to find a side of him that you don’t hate.

TO CLARIFY, this one-shot takes place before the events of Chapter 3.

An Installment to the Polarity Series

“Theres an ache in you put there by the ache in me”

—

The train window had fogged up due to the ruthless cold temperature. However, the snow that fell against it made for a scenic view. Your forehead rested on the glass, eyes lingering on every single snowflake that fell graciously on the city before you.

Tearing slightly away , you took a quick glance around you. The train wasn’t that crowded despite it being Christmas Eve but it was still enough to make you feel slightly suffocated. The loud and bright chattering of people made your body feel uneasy, you didn’t know why such a seemingly happy view brought you so much distress.

Well you did know, it was rooted mainly in the fear of embarrassment, of being judged or feeling out of place. They all triggered that emotion that made you squirm in your seat, the same one that made you want to run away and hide from everyone’s intrusive stares that realistically probably weren’t looking at you at all. But your mind sure convinced you of the opposite.

If only having some much knowledge on the subject would actually change matters for you.

But it never did.

You stared down at the box in your hands, the cookies inside looked good but they were surely cold by now. Making a trip to quite literally the completely other side of the city for a dozen sugar cookies really was the most pathetic of choices you could made today but you had read extremely good reviews of the bakery.

You figured it was worth it. A miserable night awaited you if they didn’t meet your expectations, you had already nearly suffered another panic attack just getting in the long line to order them when you had arrived.

The sound of a notification going off made you stare down at your phone in your lap.

From Eunji: Regretting coming home for Christmas already, my parents have managed to get into two fights before dinner is even served.

You wanted to smile but you were still too sad about not being able to go home for Christmas. The plane tickets had been far too expensive and out of your budget range . Not to mention your mother had given you the unfortunate news that your father had lost his job a couple of days ago. If anything, it had served as another reminder that you really needed to find a job.

She had assured that they had already applied to the new warehouse but you weren’t convinced. Your father was getting old, you knew he wouldn’t be able to do the labor that was required in those places for much longer.

To Eunji: It’s good to know nothing has changed since we left for college lol.

You purse your lips at the next message she sent.

From Eunji: Would rather be with my boyfriend tbh

From Eunji: and I wish you were here, it’s so boring

Ignoring the ache in your heart at not only the immense guilt but the overall shame, you decided to ignore her first message and quickly change the subject.

To Eunji: Tell my parents I miss them and I hope you have a merry Christmas. I wish I was there too :(

With that, you shut off your phone and let out a sigh.

“You look pretty when you’re mad.”

You jump at the voice in front of you and your head shoots up immediately. Jungkook was leaning over the seat in front of you, with his head turned back in your direction as he raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“What the hell?” You whispered to him in clear mortification, you couldn’t begin to wrap your head around the fact that he was sitting right across from you in the next seat over.

How long had he been sitting there? You take another look around you, your eyes finding the entry door that was a few feet away. The train had last stopped about 15 minutes ago but you were sure that was not when he had gotten on. Had he already been here before you got on? If not, how could you have missed him entering and sitting so close to you?

It seemed like life was truly determined in ruining even the seemingly merriest of holidays for you.

“Are you following me?” You demand, but unfortunately you already felt like you knew the answer to that. He merely rolled his eyes at you, shaking his head.

“Baby I’ve been on here since the second stop, I always take the train home from work. Too much traffic.” He replied in the most casual tone which oddly enough unsettled you more because you couldn’t tell if he was lying or not.

You blinked at him, knitting your eyebrows into a scowl. A coffee colored scarf was wrapped around his neck with a darker colored jacket that accompanied it. You could see the slightest tint of red that dusted his nose, a clear result of the bustling freezing winds that awaited outside.

“Although, I could have easily been following you. By the looks of it, you really aren’t the most observant.” He states and you watched as he slowly lifted himself off his seat and took a step towards you, plopping down right next to you.

Had you really been that oblivious? You had really not spotted him at all but in your defense, the train was crowded and your anxiety didn’t let your attention linger too much on the faces around you without swiftly looking away. You made a mental note to start taking better notice of those that surrounded you.

You scooted away from him, pressing your body up almost entirely against the window next to you. He watched your movements, an annoyed expression forming on his face.

“Why didn’t you go home for Christmas?” He questioned. Despite his unpleasant expression , his tone held no malice in it.

You eye him, turning to glance back out the window. A part of you suspected Jungkook already knew exactly why but enjoyed to entertain himself in your misfortune.

“I couldn’t afford a plane ticket.”

His burning stare was on you and you officially decided that he made you feel more uneasy than of the many people on the train. Or any crowd for that matter.

“Oh baby,” He cooed in a disappointed sigh, tilting his head to better catch your gaze that so desperately wanted to escape him. “I would easily buy you that ticket..”

You turn your head slightly, giving him a glare.

His eyes settled on your lips before slowly tracing back to meet your eyes, the smallest grin teasing his lips.

“ But I won’t, I’d much rather you spend Christmas with me.”He says, reminding you that his acts of kindness would always be on his terms only.

You really hoped he was joking and that he was simply taking pleasure in tormenting you before he got off at his stop and went about his day that didn’t include having you by his side.

“What?” You gripped the box in your hands tighter, your body stiffening.

“It’s a little selfish, I know but I can always meet your parents next year.” He concluded, eyeing your movement carefully as looked down towards your box of cookies.

Meet your parents? Next year? It was like Jungkook was hell bent on proving how deluded he actually was to you, even more so with the way he didn’t seem to think anything of it.

“Besides,” He started with a shrug. “ Eunji is away with her family , do you really want to spend Christmas all alone?”

No, you thought to yourself.

But you would take being alone over his company.

“I don’t want to-“

“You don’t want to spend Christmas with someone who loves you? Watching movies together with a cup of hot chocolate,” He told you, smiling down at the item between your hands.

“It would go great with those sugar cookies from Elle’s Delightful Pastries.” His voice took a slightly higher pitch when he read the name that was sealed on the side of the white box.

It was strange to see him tell you such trivial things, to hear him describe the usual ideal holiday night you tend to spend with loved ones. He sounded so genuine in his words, and you hated how it resembled the ones of an actual lover so much.

“All by the fireplace, with a great view of the city outside. Watching the snow fall all night.” He went on, his smile only widening and his doe eyes were transfixed on your expressions that you could only assume were giving away how conflicted you were.

“Shouldn’t you be with Eunji right now? Spending time with her family?” You dare to ask, knowing you would likely upset him.

However, he only seems to roll his eyes and lean back his head against the seat.

Eunji had mentioned to you how much she wished Jungkook would have joined her but he had given her the excuse that he would be working. You didn’t buy that for a second. While it did seem like he had come back from work, you knew he likely could choose not to go in for work whenever he chose considering that his father was the CEO of the company. Especially on Christmas of all holidays.

“I think we both need a break from your little friend,” He says, giving you a knowing look. “ And you know how much I prefer your company instead baby.”

The thought of Eunji looking forward to Jungkook meeting her parents and so eager to be with him all the time while he didn’t seem the least bit interested in her made you feel sick to your stomach on her behalf. You couldn’t imagine your so-called boyfriend paying you no attention and dismissing you completely, but then you remembered that it was all because of you.

That maybe if you weren’t part of Eunji’s life, this would have never happened to her and Jungkook would be content and happy with her.

“What? Would you rather be with the friend who didn’t bother taking you home with her for Christmas?”

His words pulled your attention back to him and you shook your head.

“She couldn’t afford two tickets, I wouldn’t ask her to pay for me.” You defend her, knowing it was already more than enough that she paid most of the rent for you both. Eunji had done a lot for you in terms of the financial situation you were in and she didn’t certainly didn’t need to do more.

Jungkook's eyes bore into you, studying you closely as if he didn’t quite believe you. But the look on his face was hard to decipher exactly, a part of you wondered if he was the one that knew something you didn’t.

“You’re right, it would be so two-faced of you to accept an offer like that,” He said, knitting his eyebrows as his tone lowered. “ She doesn’t deserve to spend such a special holiday with a friend who has been going behind her back and messing around with her beloved boyfriend, does she?”

His words made you freeze, you gave him a perplexed look as your mouth fell open in shock.

“You’re the one who forced me into all this.”

“ Of course but that’s not what she will think.” Jungkook shrugged and you fell silent, haunted again by the intrusive thoughts of your friend finding out the truth and truly turning on you completely.

The doubt that stirred in you was so burdensome. It always managed to stick with you, no matter how much you tried to pull away from it.

“And it seems like you know that very well.” He tells you, observing the way you had not tried to argue back against the statement. It reminded you of the day in the car, how he had made you doubt your friendship so much. He had done it again just now and you were doing a terrible job at trying to prove otherwise to him.

“Can’t even fully trust your best friend baby, I wonder how you could bring yourself to love someone that wouldn’t ever have your back?”

You gritted your teeth, hating how he never failed to dig deep into your psyche and lay out your worst of insecurities in front of you.

Suddenly there was shuffling around you and your eyes darted to the people who were seated on the other side of you , they were getting up along with others in the back. You looked ahead of you, easily finding the letters on the screen that signaled you were at a destination that wasn’t the one you were meant to get off.

You had not even noticed the train had come to a stop in the midst of your conversation with Jungkook.

“Anyways, looks like this is our stop.” He announced looking around as more people crowded the small space between the seats.

You began to shake your head, your stop wasn’t until a couple more minutes but you knew the words had looked familiar on the screen. This was the area Jungkook lived in.

“I was just being polite baby,” He says as he starts taking notice of your unyielding posture and his hand quickly finds yours , cold fingers wrapping around your own.

“We both know my offer wasn’t much of a suggestion.”

Yes, he was right. He knew he would be taking you home with him the moment he had spotted you on this train, even before that most likely. You still suspected he had not run into you by pure coincidence.

He was never suggesting those plans he had so beautifully described to you, it was never a question. It was clear in the look he was giving you now and you knew he wouldn’t hesitate to ruin your friend’s Christmas if you didn’t comply.

Against your better judgment , you let him take your hand and you lift yourself off the seat. He sends you a content look, giving your hand a slight squeeze as you both wait for the space to clear a bit. You slowly start making your way towards the entry doors, Jungkook leading the way as your heart pounds at the many people that were bumping into you and were far too close behind you for comfort.

The loud chattering rang in your ears, you felt disconnected from your surroundings for a split second .The scene was too chaotic and in that moment you had regretted taking the train all together.

Jungkook halts suddenly in front of you and you have to move aside a little to look over his shoulder and figure out what had caused his sudden stop. Your eyes meet a little boy that stands below him, his small height only reaching below Jungkook’s waist.

People continue to walk past you, squeezing in between you as they rush forwards.

“I-I can’t find my mommy.” You finally heard the little boy’s words against the loud voices that filled the space and you let go of Jungkook’s hand, gripping the side of his shoulder instead to lean down towards the child.

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes, he had his hand gripping the bottom of Jungkook’s jacket as he looked around in pure panic. Your heart ached a bit at the sight of his lost gaze.

“It’s okay, little guy.” Jungkook bent down, tugging the child to the side so the people wouldn’t trample over him and he sent a harsh glare to a man who nearly ran right into him.

“I-I don’t know where she is.” He cried out, his lip wobbling as he made out the watery words. A few tears finally escaped his eyes and ran down his chubby cheeks.

He had to be about 5 years old at most and your eyes instantly went to search the crowd ahead of you, trying to see if you could find anyone who could be the parents.

“Shh it’s okay, we will find your mom .” Jungkook assured him, giving him a kind and reassuring smile while wiping his tears off with his thumb, continuing to shush his distressed cries before he exchanged a concerned look with you.

You had to admit it was a foreign sight to see Jungkook be so gentle and comforting to a child. A part of you was convinced every kind action he did was calculated and not genuine in the slightest but the look of concern that filled his eyes was a hard one to feign and you didn’t like how real it looked.

“I don’t see her,” You say but in that moment you hear a loud shout right ahead and your eyes zoom in on a middle-aged woman struggling to make her way through the crowd of people who were going in the opposite direction of her.

“Marcus!” She calls out and you could see the look of terror wash over her, her eyes darting around you and trying to take every single face in until she finally met the sight of who you could only assume was her son.

“Oh my god,” She lets out the biggest sigh of relief as she places a hand over her chest and rushes over to the three of you. “Marcus.”

The little boy’s face lights up at the sight of his mother and he shuffles towards her, she hugs him immediately against her waist as she adjusts the bags hanging from her shoulder.

“I told you not to let go of my hand.” She scolded him as she ran her fingers through his hair and hugged him tighter.

She finally looked up at you two, a wary look still on her face but she managed to give you both a grateful smile.

“Thank you so much, I swear he was just behind me.”

“No problem.” Jungkook replied and his eyes practically twinkled when he looked down at the little boy burying his face into his mother’s coat.

“I would suggest being more careful though, kids could easily get taken in these types of places.” He added as he came to grab your hand again, and you were forced to stand even closer to him than you already were.

The woman nodded, grabbing her small son by the shoulders as her eyes shifted over to meet yours and you gave her a hesitant smile,

“Of course, thank you again.” She says but before she fully turns around, she lets out a small laugh. “ You two make an adorable couple by the way.”

Her words weaken your smile a bit but they widen Jungkook’s as he pulls you forward, continuing to walk towards the exit of the train.

—-

By the time you’re making your way through the streets of the prestigious looking area that Jungkook resides in, the sun has already been tucked away behind the white snow covered mountains ahead and the night sky fell quickly on both of you.

Every street resembled a wonderland, the Christmas decorations covered every single building and the lights lit up the entire streets left no room for a gloomy sight. It was as if you had entered your own personal Hallmark movie. The green balsams hung from each shop door and the windows were so beautifully illuminated by red and green lights.

You could hear the sound of Christmas music playing from inside most of them, the speakers that were placed outside allowed the classic tunes to fill the air. A shiver ran through your body as another gust of wind hit you and you let out a small breath, blinking away the small snowflakes that had blurred your vision.

“You should have worn another jacket, you’re freezing baby.” Jungkook scolded beside you, stopping for a second and began zipping down his jacket.

“I don’t need your jacket.”

“You do.” He mused as another tremble ran through you at the brutal temperature. You wondered how the cold didn’t seem to phase him much, and when he slips off his jacket your eyes take in the red and black checkered sweater underneath.

It was oddly festive looking and you think this is the first time you had seen him wear such a bright color, his attire usually remaining neutral.

The large new material covers your body and you use your free hand to tug it closer to you, Jungkook notices your slight struggle and takes the box of cookies from your hand. You take the chance to fully zip it up around you, not caring how ridiculous you must have looked with so many layers of clothing on you.

When you continue to walk, you feel Jungkook’s thumb caress over the skin of your hand, it was a habit he often seemed to do when he held your hands. Your attention was soon focused on a park you were passing by, your eyes scanning over the trees and dads picking up on some distant giggling . That’s when you realized there was an ice rink a few feet away, there seemed to be a lot of families gathered around with kids skating.

Your steps slow down, curiosity taking over as you watch the people twirl around the ice while some others struggle to maintain their balance. The sight reminded you of how much you had always wanted to try ice skating but never got around to it. The last time you remember attempting it was when you were a child and had slipped horribly on the hard ice, nearly twisting an ankle. Your mother didn’t take you back after that.

“Do you want to go?” Jungkook asked you when he saw how immersed you were at the sight, his eyes following your gaze. His tone was gentle, and he began to pull you in the direction of the ice rink but you tugged on his hand.

“No, I can’t..” You grip his hand tightly, shaking your head in refusal as he raises a questioning eyebrow.

“Too many people.” You mumble, and it was true. The ice rink was filled with kids and families, the sight itself made your palms sweaty.

An understanding look filled Jungkook’s dark eyes and he nodded slowly, coming to stand beside you again.

“Okay,” He rasps. “ We can watch instead.”

You feel his arms wrap around you, tugging you closer against his chest and you decide to ignore it. Your eyes are now glued to the children that skated before you. You watched as one little girl in particular wobbled against the ice, she looked like she was attempting to make a turn but had decided against it at the last minute and in return caused an older man to nearly bump into her. He swerved out of her way, causing him to instantly lose balance and fall right on his backside.

A laugh you couldn’t hold back left your lips and you're surprised to hear Jungkook chuckling behind you as well, obviously witnessing the same thing you had, and you felt the rumble that ran through his chest.

The sound of his laugh echoed through your ears, it sounded so childlike and innocent.

You continue to giggle when you see the man attempt to get up, a clearly pissed off expression on his face as he fails and slips against the slippery ice yet again. Small chunks of ice flying around him at the roughness of his fall.

The feeling of Jungkook’s arms tightening around your frame did little to waive your attention from the amusing scene that was happening in front of you, you barely noticed how close he was until he pressed a firm kiss on the side of your cheek. The action takes you by surprise a little but you attempt to keep a neutral expression despite the way your heartbeat seems to pick up.

He pressed his cheek against yours, his chin resting on your shoulder as the snow fell against you both, it was the most heartwarming scene to any passing bystander.

It was so deceptive in its outer appearance that you nearly fell for the facade as well.

—-

You are awfully confused when Jungkook starts leading you down an unfamiliar street you don’t recognize. You were on a more reclusive side now but just as high maintenance. The neighborhood was filled with grand houses , you weren’t sure if they would even be considered houses. They looked more like mansions in your eyes, the outside designs and architecture giving away the immense amount of wealth they were worth.

Now you stood in front of a French country style house, a cobble stone pathway leading towards the front porch and bright white Christmas lights hung on the rooftop.

“This isn’t your apartment.” You state the obvious, something you should have announced a while ago but you had been too entranced in every single little attraction you had passed by until now.

Jungkook hums in agreement and nods.

“It’s my parent’s house.” He said as he led you towards the front door and your eyes widened.

“What? No, I can’t go mee-

“They aren’t home, don’t worry. Both are on a business trip.” He cuts you off and he types in the code on the door handle and unlocks it . You glance behind you nervously, somehow feeling like you are entering a place you were never meant to step foot inside.

Jungkook holds the door open for you and you hesitate before walking forwards. The house is warm, and the first thing you notice is the fireplace that greets you almost immediately, the cracking of the flames is the only sound that fills the quiet place.

The door shuts behind you as you take in the living room space, various family portraits that hang from the walls. There was a tall bookcase by the side of the fireplace and a flat screen on the wall directly across from it. The place was a lot cozier than you had expected, it almost reminded you of your own home.

Except for the fact that his living room was likely the size of your entire house all together.

“Why aren’t your parents home?” You ask as you glance behind you, watching as he takes off his scarf and throws it carelessly on the couch beside him.

“They always work on Christmas.” He says with a flat tone, and it’s obvious to you he is trying to mask a certain emotion.

You unzip the heavy jacket off your frame that felt like it was suffocating you. Jungkook takes it from you, along with your bag and places it on the coat hanger by the door.

“I know what you’re thinking, the stereotypical filthy rich family that neglects their child.” Jungkook says as his eyes drift to the other side of the room and that’s when you realize the large Christmas tree that stood in the corner.

It almost reached the ceiling, the glass ornaments on it looked so delicate and elegant. It brought the entire festive atmosphere together.

“They made the maids put it up.” He tells you when he catches you staring at it. He smirks at your lost gaze that doesn't know where to focus on anymore.

“You would be right in believing every single stereotype you have made of me already.”

You give him a questioning look. It was true that you had made your conclusions of him but it seemed like they couldn’t be that far off judging by his behavior now.

“Except my mom actually did pay attention to me.” He adds as he makes his way over down the hall and you trail behind him, he leads both of you into a wide kitchen space .

“She was kinda overbearing when I was younger, insanely protective and smothering.” A smile threatens to spread on his lips as he seems to recall the memory, his hands rummaging through the white cabinets until two mugs are pulled out.

You don’t know what to do other than awkwardly stand there and when Jungkook finally glances towards you again, he seems to find your unmoving stance endearing. He gives you a grin and nods towards the table beside you.

You make your way over to take a seat as you continue to stare at his actions.

“But she was the best, so caring and loving. Everything a mother should be.” He added with the grin still on his face but it slowly slipped away when the next words left him.

“ But my dad told her she would ruin me if she kept spoiling me. So when I reached my last year of middle school, she just stopped.”

Maybe he had a point, your thoughts whispered.

Jungkook bit his lip, gripping the electric water kettle as he filled the two mugs up. He then reached over the counter, grabbing what seemed to be a hot chocolate container and swirling the dark cocoa powder into the boiling liquid.

The satisfying smell hit your nostrils, and then you noticed you still had the box of overpriced cookies in your hands. You had taken them back from Jungkook before arriving.

“What do you mean by she stopped?” You find yourself asking, not being able to help your curiosity. Had his mother simply stopped being overbearing? If so, you didn’t see why that was an issue. You couldn’t imagine a young boy appreciating being smothered.

“She stopped paying attention to me all together.” Jungkook said simply, his stare suddenly hardening as he tightly gripped the spoon he was using to stir the hot chocolate .

You knit your eyebrows, finding his statement strange. The thought of a mother who was previously so attentive and protective suddenly not paying you any mind at all seemed so unnatural. You couldn’t help and wonder what had caused the drastic change.

“Why?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer right away, his silence was anticipating and you can’t help but desperately await his answer. He lifts up the mugs at last and brings them over to the table, taking a seat right across from you as he hands you over your cup. You put your cookies on the table, coming to take the mug from him and gripping it with both hands.

“Careful, it’s hot.” He warns you gently.

You look at him, watching as his eyes drop downwards, avoiding eye contact. It takes you by surprise, it was nothing like him.

It was nothing like his usual confident and borderline domineering behavior he usually exhibited. He was the one that never broke his gaze from you, making you cower before him but now it seemed like the roles had been reversed.

And you didn’t know how to take it.

“I don’t know.” His reply was short, and for a second you think that’s it and that he won’t elaborate at all.

“I blamed my dad at first , thinking he was the reason behind her change of behavior towards me.” He then added, knitting his eyebrows as a frown took over his lips.

“But ..then I found out he wasn’t the reason behind it at all.”

An almost pained look took over his face, like he was struggling to remember something. Or more so like he was trying to block the memory out entirely.

“One time I..I walked in on him yelling at her.”

There was strong emotion in his words, and you saw him swallow. Your eyes widened momentarily as you noticed his eyes become glossy.

“He was asking, demanding why she was neglecting her own son so much. That she was a horrible mother and they should have never decided to have a kid.” A humorless laugh leaves him as he blinks away the tears forming in his doe eyes and the image tugs at your chest, evoking something you were trying to push down so much.

You tried to not feel it but you did. No matter how much you tried to hate Jungkook, no enraged feeling came, there was only pain in your heart when you stared at the broken sight of a boy who seemed to be fighting a battle inside of him.

“ And she just took it, and didn't try to fight back or defend herself. She only sobbed until my dad finally stopped screaming at her.” He recalled, biting the inside of his cheek as his eyes met yours. They looked empty, so empty despite the evident whirlwind of emotions that were at war underneath.

“But she never said why. Never gave an explanation to why she barely spoke to me, why she stopped coming to my football practices, why she never attended my science presentations anymore.”

Your hurt sunk, every sentence seemed to crush him more than the last.

“Why she stopped being home for Christmas, leaving the nanny to care for me instead. Why she stopped taking me out to see Christmas lights, taking me ice skating.”

His fingers gripped the edge of his cup, knuckles whitening.

“Even when I won each award, won each game, got top of the class. Nothing would get her attention, nothing would return that attention she once had towards me.” His words were filled with resentment, anger even.

His eyes narrowed down at the table in front of you both.

“No matter how much love I would try to show her, how much of a perfect son I tried to be. It was never enough, nothing was enough for her to love me again.” His voice deepened, sounding like it was on the edge of breaking.

“The worst part is, I still don't know why she stopped.”

His eyes met yours again.

“Even now, she only talks to me when she needs to, to tell me something useless or to run a stupid fucking errand for her.”

A smile forms, one that holds more bitterness than anything else.

“ Yet she keeps this sweet and loving attitude to her, one that almost still resembles the maternal love she used to give me. She makes it so hard to actually hate her.”

The room feels heavy, and you don’t know where to look. You're once again taken aback by the pity that fills you, seeing Jungkook showcase an emotion other than complete arrogance and obsession made him feel like he was just another person. Someone just like you and not the villain you had made him out to be in your book.

It was wishful thinking, you knew it had to be and he would soon remind you who he really was again but you can’t help but push that thought to the back of your mind for now.

“I’m sorry,” The words come out soft and cautious, you didn’t know what to say other than that.

Jungkook clears his throat, shaking his head and ridding himself of all the negative emotions that had filled him. A neutral expression taking over instantly, like a switch that he was trained to so easily turn off.

“You don’t need to apologize for anything baby.” He states firmly, giving you a warm smile as he reaches over to squeeze your hand.

“ Why don’t you tell me about your family Christmas traditions, I’m sure they are much more memorable than mine.” He teased, lazily lifting up his mug to his mouth and taking a sip of hot chocolate.

You could probably agree to that and he seemed to want to shift the attention back to you, no longer looking willing to share more than he had about his family. But the heaviness of his revelation still hung in the air and you can’t help but wonder if Jungkook really was just another victim of his neglected environment.

No, you thought. Don’t let yourself be fooled so easily.

You were fairly good at that.

“Just the basic things, baking Christmas cookies together.” You say unsurely, tapping your fingers against your mug as you took a quick sip of the hot chocolate.

The sweetness was delicious and the hot liquid did wonders to warm your cold body from the weather you had just walked so long in.

“Do you like to bake?” Jungkook asked, raising an eyebrow as he pulled over the box of cookies you had placed on the table, opening the lid.

Those cookies were surely freezing cold by now but he still took a careless bite out of one.

“I guess.” You reply, licking your lips. “I used to bake with my dad all the time when I was little, he taught me how to make gingerbread cookies.”

Jungkook listens intently, smiling a bit as he chews down the cookie.

“I’m sure your cookies would have come out much better than these.”

Your face falls, eyes darting to the box of them.

“Are they that bad?” You deadpan, only thinking about how much you spent just for them to be disgusting.

He laughs at the look on your face, that childish and almost immature gleam tinting his eyes again as he throws his head back. He looked like a little boy at that moment.

“I’m just joking baby, they are fine.” He shakes his head and your face relaxes, deciding to reach for one of the cookies yourself.

“But I’m sure you would make some delicious cookies.” He lifts himself off his seat and comes to stand behind you as you pop a cookie into your mouth.

It definitely wasn’t bad but it could have been better, and it was hard as a rock.

You feel Jungkook’s hands wrap around your shoulders and he squeezes them lightly.

“We should go bake some of those gingerbread cookies .” He mumbles into your hair and you nearly twist in your seat, not knowing how to react to this overly domestic and non-threatening side of him.

“Okay.”

—

Your eyes are focused on the movie playing on the wide screen but all your mind can pay attention to is Jungkook’s body cuddled up beside you. His arm is wrapped around your shoulder, pressing you into him and even though you are insanely uncomfortable, it takes a couple of minutes until your body relaxes and lets you forget that you're alone with your best friend’s boyfriend who has done a good job of making you bend to his every will.

“Were your parents upset that you couldn’t make it for Christmas?” Jungkook’s deep voice questions, and you glance up at him, his eyes not moving away from the screen in front of you both.

“I guess any parent would be.” You keep your answer short, your guard up. You still haven’t figured out why he had formed such an obsession with you, let alone why he bothered knowing such minuscule things regarding your life.

He falls silent and you look towards the fireplace to the side, watching how the flames calmed around the hardwood. You figured that Jungkook must've gotten inspiration from his childhood home when decorating his own apartment, the dark theme was evident here as well.

The room smelled of cinnamon and cloves, thanks to the gingerbread cookies that were baking in the oven still, your mind wandered off to the moment you had shared with him in the kitchen not too long ago.

“No, we need to use brown sugar.” You tell him, mixing in the rest of the allspice into the bowl.

Jungkook gave you an exasperated look as he searched the many cabinets for a bag of the specific sweetener you were demanding.

“What’s the difference?” He held the granulated white sugar in his hands, reading through the ingredients.

“It’s just not the same.”

He stares at you.

“Baby, it’s definitely the same.” You ignore the nickname, fighting the urge to tell him to stop calling you that but it would be a waste of breath.

“It’s not.” You say again stubbornly.

He seems to find your relentlessness on the topic amusing, stepping closer as he grabs your chin lightly.

“You take baking so seriously, it’s cute.” He cooes in a playful manner but you shove his hand away.

“Just get the right sugar.” You mutter, trying to forget the entire fact that you were actually doing this with him.

It was so incredibly stupid of you but it’s not like you had much of a choice.

“Whatever you say,” He whispers in your ear, pecking the side of your forehead before walking past you to the large pantry at the other side of the kitchen.

You force yourself out of the memory, not being able to help but wonder if Jungkook behaved that way with Eunji. Was the image of the ideal boyfriend your friend had of him? You would admit you couldn’t blame her for falling for that side of him so easily, it was not hard to imagine him so effortlessly making your friend weak with that charming nature that possessed him whenever he wished.

It was a shame that was only one layer of Jungkook, the rest were not as pleasant.

The home was filled with every ornament and knickknack, you could see the many treasured items that hung at every corner. Your vision fixed in on a family portrait, a man and woman beside a small child that awfully resembled Jungkook. Your eyes lingered on the woman in the picture, her smile not quite reaching her round shaped eyes that looked awfully similar to the ones that had been staring so deeply at you moments ago.

He had his mother’s eyes.

“I almost forgot.” Jungkook says suddenly, shifting as he digs through the back pocket of his jeans.

He takes out a small gift box, wrapped in gold paper with a red ribbon tied around it.

“Merry Christmas baby,” He gives you the brightest of grins, displaying his two upper front teeth that stuck out a little more than the rest. It always managed to give him that boyish look. He placed the box in your hands and you stared down at it.

You look up at him in uncertainty but he simply waits for you to open it. You bit your lip, fingers coming to pull at the ribbon and carefully rip the wrapping paper.

As you open the box, you nearly gasp at the necklace that lays inside.

A gold plated butterfly pendant stares back at you, it was dainty in appearance and seemed to have round diamond cuts placed in the middle of the design.

It was beautiful.

But what really got you was how Jungkook had managed to find out that you had a fascination with butterflies. It wasn’t something you had ever mentioned to anyone, not that you could recall anyway. You had just always favored them since you were a small child, you remembered you always attempted to catch them when you would hang around your mother’s garden in the backyard of your house.

Had it simply been a coincidence? It had to be, there was no way he could have figured out such a small detail about you like this.

“Do you like it?” He awaited your response eagerly, round eyes staring at you expectantly and almost nervously.

You nod but say, " I-I can’t keep this..”

You didn’t want to keep it.

“Of course you can,” He insisted, leaving no room for an argument. “ and you will.”

He raises both eyebrows at you as takes the necklace carefully, motioning you to turn around. You lift your back off the couch slightly and feel him wrap the necklace around your neck. His fingers graze your skin and you don’t know why that small touch of him is what manages to send a shiver up your spine.

He locks it in place and you let yourself fall back against the couch again.

“I didn’t get you anything..”

Obviously, you think to yourself. Why you were feeling sorry about that was beyond you, Jungkook didn’t deserve the slightest bit of anything from you but yet you still felt like you owed him something right now.

“I know.” He gives you a tight lipped smile.

“But,” He adds in a low whisper, face inching closer to yours and your breath hitches. “ I think you can still give me something.”

His lips peck yours, his hand coming to palm your cheek and you flinch.

“Please,” He begs, with a strained tone . As if he was truly being starved from your lack of intimacy.

“Just for tonight, let me have this with no complaints.” His thumb smoothed out your skin, eyes searching for your own and you wonder if he could feel how hard your heart was pounding in your chest.

Your eyes flutter shut and you feel Jungkook’s mouth instantly move against yours, his kiss was hungry yet sensual in every way. Mixed in with every emotion that had been felt tonight.

His tongue slips in with ease and your mouths are now entangled against each other, his body moving up against you as he pushes you further into the side of the couch, deepening the kiss.

You despise the way your stomach dips at him kissing you harder, your hands instinctively coming to grip his arm, causing a low groan to leave him. He is filled with a fervent urgent need that you refuse to completely fulfill the relief of.

He finally pulls away , letting out a silent breathless laugh, looking at you in complete awe. The look was so consuming, and you’re not sure if he had ever looked at you like this before or if you simply had not paid enough attention.

His lips then go to press soft kisses on the side of your mouth, until they reach the bottom of your cheeks and chin.

Laying a final one on your nose.

“Maybe we should change the movie because you were looking bored just a second ago,” He breathes against your skin and you clear your throat, pushing him back slightly.

“It’s fine.” You make out, aware of how shaky your voice sounded.

“What’s your favorite Christmas movie?” He eyes you, smirking down at your lips again.

“Elf.”

He nods, content with your answer as he turns to the TV. Reaching over to grab the remote behind you.

“What about you?” You don’t why you ask but you do.

He seems to think for a second as he scrolls through the many movies on the screen, exiting out of the one you were just watching which had been Home Alone.

“How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” He says with a tilt of his head after a few seconds, not being able to hide his teasing smile.

Of course it was.

You don’t reply to that and settle your attention on the flat screen again, not protesting when Jungkook cuddles beside you once the movie starts playing. The position had switched slightly, and he had rested his head on your chest, arms wrapped tightly against your waist.

Both of you seem to find the silence comfortable, the night passing in slow motion as you watch movie after movie. A laugh escapes either you or him when a certain humorous line is told every so often and you can’t help but feel so conflicted and guilty.

Guilty for everything that you had done but most of all confused to find yourself not completely loathing Jungkook’s company in this rare moment.

You look down, noticing the way Jungkook’s eyelids had fluttered shut completely and soft steady breaths left him. You are unable to stop yourself and you have not the slightest clue what compelled you to reach out a hand and run your fingers hesitantly against his cheek, brushing the dark curls out of his face.

Jungkook had said you wouldn’t have wanted to spend a Christmas all alone when Eunji was away with her family but you thought about if he was the one who truly did not wish to spend this holiday alone. His home didn’t fall short from anything, providing endless memories, nostalgia and the festive aesthetic.

But it was missing the actual family inside of it.

You thought back to what Jungkook had said about his parents, his mother in particular. How he seemed so on edge, so vulnerable for just those few minutes. It was a side of him you had never seen, so foreign and different to the usual persona he gave off. He had opened the doors to some of his childhood to you and you had not liked the little you had seen.

The familiar sound notification going off made you turn your neck, gaze falling on the phone that was on top of the coffee table in front of you. Jungkook’s phone.

From Mom: Merry Christmas.

You stared at the text and your eyes trailed downwards, noticing the screen displayed 5 missed calls from his mother.

He had rejected all of them.

Somehow that conversation about his mother had revealed so much about him.

Yet why did you still feel like you didn’t know him at all?

—-

#yandere Jungkook #yandere!jungook x reader #yandere!jungkook #yandere jungkook #bts yandere #yandere!bts #jungkook x reader #bts au #bts fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook christmas #jungkook christmas au #polarity #polarity christmas special #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts angst

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nameless-shrimp · 2 years

Text

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — RORONOA ZORO

↳ PAIRING: Roronoa Zoro x GN! Reader

↳ TYPE: one-shot

↳ WORD COUNT: 5k (i'm so sorry)

↳ WARNINGS: no major spoilers, post-timeskip ish, reader is an artist, shy and insecure reader, Zoro is probably OOC, heavy grammar errors, i did my best okay

↳ SYNOPSIS: Being the lonely and quiet artist on the ship, Zoro has taken quite an interest in you. Though, he's unsure how to properly speak out his feelings.

↳ AUTHOR’S NOTES: damn i go missing for a month and come back to a one piece fic, sorry this is so bad, i haven't written in a while and well tbh, this was based off a dream LOL. please forgive me if this is written incorrectly with the timeskip stuff, i have a long way to go and just wanted to write zoro content because it's ZORO <333

Forever.

As if one man could dream for a lifetime, though he was sure of his obvious fantasy. A little ring around someone’s finger—where his dream of the future could slowly come to a reality, despite the harsh differences between his occupation compared to the possibility of another. Although, one captivated his interests. A lone traveler, wandering aimlessly into his life, only to capture the heart of a—who was once—pirate hunter that now held a dangerous bounty.

His captain didn’t hesitate to have you on board the ship for a short amount of time. Although the passing of a few months had led to the growth between you and him. Eye stares slowly gazing into his mere curiosity of innocent turmoil; the man aiming to be the world’s greatest swordsman had fallen in a funny little trickle called love?

Sanji nearly spat at his boots for it; as if the mosshead was capable of such a thing.

Though he caught onto it fairly quickly. The cook knew a man in love when he saw one. Much to Sanji’s demise, he didn’t argue against it. However, the secret was kept between them—two annoying men who bicker consistently enough to drive the navigator crazy. It humored you, causing you to fancy the swordsman more.

He’d be lying if he wasn’t so deep in the tunnels of curiosity of what love was meant to be.

Eventually, the relationship sparked into something more. A night resting on the crow’s nest, where you sat there away from the others, occupied with your own drawings and the view of the horizon creeping into its night. End of dawn; Zoro knew you enjoyed your time alone from the others. (And with Luffy’s consistent chaotic state, how could you not?)

“I don’t want you to always feel like you’re alone.”

Those words from his mouth echoed throughout your head that one night, where Zoro spent his time to bring you dinner and you both shared about your personal dreams. An artist just wandering across the seas in hopes to find a new home, lost in nothing but sketchbooks and scattered paintbrushes. Although Luffy had made it clear that you’d grow to be a stronger, well-mannered, and cultivated pirate if you remained to be at home with the crew.

Zoro occasionally laid his head down on the floor, where you allowed his head to rest on your lap while you focused on your own portraits. He did his usual bantering, but did he want to do it? Truly, he definitely did.

As if the stubborn swordsman wanted to fully admit the truth.

Love was doubtful to his eyes as if he could earn someone in his life forever. To love and cherish a dangerous man like him, though his heart had its own sense of purity—in some cases, he thought.

“Hey.”

His voice perked up, right before his eyes slowly closed. Your pencil was set down, where your fingers ran through his hair. Scar eminent on his eye, and your delicate fingers trailed along with the memory where he only smirked. Satisfaction; not wanting to admit to it, he decided to keep his stubbornness tingling along a little bit longer.

“Yeah?” You responded.

He cleared his throat. “Have you ever been in love?”

And it was a straightforward question for him to ask, where you both sat in the crow’s nest underneath the pale moonlight. Silver light sparkling. You hummed; finger tapping the chin, and a sigh was audible.

“No. I’d like to experience it with someone special�� though.”

Zoro chuckled, all before closing his eyes cautiously.

“As do I.”

Everything he needed, yearned—heart wanting for a specific desire; all of it could have been accomplished with your presence by his side.

Though you had no experience in combat, and you were mainly the one who had to tag along with the others to ensure your safety, Zoro had grown to a new beginning in his life. At least with you—a bond. Everlasting friendship. Only in hopes of growing it into something more, and even Sanji scoffed about it even from the stare he gawked at you every so often when you were alone on the ship.

“I was going to finish a painting back at the ship.”

“I like your company,” he noted, hands gripping the swords. “Plus… I also tend to get lost, as the others say. You’ll surely have better direction than me.”

You chuckled. “Sometimes.”

“I trust you on directions better than anyone else on the ship.”

“Ha?” Your eyebrow twitched in confusion. “Funny of you to say, I’d expect you to trust anyone else more to help guide you back to the ship.”

Zoro sighed, head tilting down. He eyed your fiddling fingers—a habit you tended to do due to your shyness, mostly around his presence. It could have been due to his intimidating nature that resembled nothing but a frightening swordsman with grimacing smirks. Was that a possible checkmark for being attractive? He’d ask the cook for an extra bit of love advice, but. No thanks.

“Well, if we find an art shop here, I’ll buy you anything you need,” Zoro stated, eyes furrowing ahead of him on the dirt path. Gifts. That was a good clue to ensure his feelings for you—truly, absolutely, had to be.

Zoro was not a man of romance, clearly.

“You don’t have to do that,” you said. “It’s nice to walk around and get off the ship every so often.”

“You’re always occupied in another room or hiding in Chopper’s office,” Zoro noted. “Sometimes I feel like you’re trying to avoid me.”

“Wh—no,” you retorted, palms sweating. “I’m just not used to your crew’s company yet. I guess.”

“After a few months?”

“I’m a little weird.”

“It’s fine,” Zoro responded. “You prefer your alone time. I can respect that.”

“I’m not a very big fighter,” your head shook. “I like to avoid situations that’ll get me out of any trouble.”

Zoro snorted, fighting back a chuckle. “Luffy is the one that tends to create any trouble, I’m sure you know that by now, Y/N.”

Your eyes rolled. “For sure.”

“But you’re not avoiding me?” He asked, eyebrows raised.

Your head shook once more. “No. I like…”

“Hmm?” His feet stopped on the dirt path.

“I mean—” you coughed into your fist, turning away. Zoro eyed your behavior with curiosity, almost finding amusement in the delight. ‘How cute’, he thought, right before his eyes widened at the thought and he turned away. “I like your company the best. Luffy has his moments, Sanji’s very flirty for me, and the others are fine. It’s just…”

Zoro’s head tilted. “Go on.”

“I don’t know. You’re comfortable for me to be around. Maybe it’s because you nap and hang out with me in the crow’s nest when I want to be alone to do my sketches.”

“I did say I like your company.”

“I know, and I’m saying I like yours right back.”

He laughed, raising his hand to pat your head, right before your lips pursed into a flustered line. When your body turned, causing your hands to fall upon your arms to provide some type of heat due to the chilly air—and, realistically, a fidget in order to cope with the flustered state you were in—Zoro took note.

His hands grasped onto his green kimono, right before he swooshed it around your figure. A gasp echoed, where his body remained still. Heart beating into infinity; countless beats that were continuing in a rapid face. Sudden maroon tickled his cheeks, though his stoic expression attempted to keep his blushing state at bay.

“Hey,” you spoke, grasping onto the sleeves of his kimono. “Aren’t you going to be cold too?”

“I’ve trained in extreme weather conditions when there were blizzards out,” Zoro responded, keeping his hands on your shoulders. “A little wind is not enough to bother me.”

“I feel bad.”

“Why?”

“Well, ‘cause it’s yours.”

“And I offered it to you. Don’t be silly.”

You wanted to smack him—out of childish antics, of course. Not to purposefully tick him off.

“Okay, but if you shiver, don’t get mad at me,” you pouted.

He laughed. ‘Why… so damn cute?’ Zoro thought again, only to mentally slap himself from the protruding thoughts creeping in about your personality. Though he couldn’t help it.

And after a passing ten minutes, you both ended up in a simple city, where wagons creaked from their wheels and passengers were minding their own business, trapped in their own worlds. Zoro’s presence was known to you, keeping your body close to his—through his fingers twitched, only wanting to grab ahold of your hand. An easy excuse for this was that so you couldn’t get lost or—maybe, even he wouldn’t get lost himself.

Not a bad excuse, really.

“Where do you want to go?” You asked, hiding deeper into his kimono. “I’m not sure what you wanted to do.”

“Just wander around. The cook went on his own to grab ingredients and food, while Luffy and Usopp went on their own path,” Zoro explained. “Franky and Chopper offered to stay back at the ship. And I’m only assuming the others are on their own somewhere around here.”

“Any particular reason why you wanted me to come?”

He turned to you, earrings dangling from the wind. “Told you, I like your company. Also didn’t wanna get lost. I trust you better than anyone else, remember?”

“I know, but—”

“Let’s take a look around,” he interrupted hastily, quickly rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

Zoro stood for a moment, causing you to look at him. Face completely puzzled, much to his head. ‘What would that damn cook do?’ He thought to himself, all before gazing down at his hand before twirling his fingers around. You gawked at him, wondering if others were staring at how he paid more attention to his open hand rather than the scenery around him.

“Uh, Zoro?” You blinked. “What the hell are you—”

“I have a favor,” he retorted.

You gulped. “Um, okay. What is it?”

‘This is harder than I thought,’ his mind brushed a subtle thought, only to fight back a forced chuckle.

“Sorry,” Zoro sighed, right before slapping his face with his palm—lost in disbelief.

‘What the hell am I doing?’

“What the hell are you doing?”

Christ—did you just read his mind?

He coughed into his fist, all before he shook his head. Zoro bit his bottom lip, right before throwing his hand down to grab ahold of yours. Your widened eyes caused his heart to race. Mind lost in a daze, completely overwhelmed by the want for more. A little more affection to ease the tension of his heartstrings strumming along to his rapid beats. A moment so little, yet Zoro did not want to forget it.

Your fingers intertwined with his while you tried to fight back the chuckle escaping your lips while Zoro looked away, unamused with his own weird behavior.

“If you wanted to hold my hand…” you murmured, looking down. “You could’ve just said so.”

“Oh, yeah?” Zoro quipped, gritting his teeth while covering the blossom of roses tinting his cheeks with his palm. “My bad. Didn’t wanna make it more uncomfortable for you.”

“Huh?” You blinked. “No… I kind of like this.”

“Well,” he exhaled. “Don’t let go.”

You smiled; eyes flourishing to full bloom.

“I won’t.”

Zoro stood near the shelves with full attention to your curious expressions. Eyes wandering from different brushes on the shelves as canvases were laid out amongst the walls. Ranging from acrylic to watercolor, all portray different fantasies and universes from single brush strokes. Your mind remained lost in thought; hand in hand with his, where he eyed down the knuckles and brushed his thumb across yours.

A mental note that he was around—just to ensure that he was nearby.

Zoro’s eyes darted near the front door, where whispers were audible of a group of Marines stepping foot on the island in search of the pirates. And he groaned mentally, fighting back a glare to the light illuminating from the outside.

‘Let’s hope our idiot captain didn’t get us tangled in any mess this time,’ he wondered.

“Is something wrong?”

Your soft voice caused his eyes to widen, only to where he fought back a grunt and only to force a tug of his lips, portraying half of a smile, and then he gave a head pat. “We might have to get going soon if we don’t want any trouble,” he stated; you nodded. “Is there anything you want here?”

“Honestly, I think I’m okay,” you said. “It’s nice to look at other people’s artwork, though.”

“I don’t have the skills or talent like you and some other people do,” Zoro spoke, gazing up at a watercolor painting on the wall of empty farmland. Peaceful. Much like the kind of future Zoro hoped for his—maybe. “Well, when it comes to all this artsy stuff.”

“That’s okay,” you smiled shyly. “At least you’re skilled and attentive to any danger around. I don’t have any of that.”

“You’ll find your own ways of protecting yourself,” Zoro responded. “But I’ll be there to protect you.”

‘Huh?’

“What?”

Zoro gulped, placing a palm on his head before his lips began trembling. “I mean—” he choked on his words. ‘No, no, I meant it,’ he spoke to himself mentally. “I want to protect you. I’m here for you.”

You blinked before smiling, rubbing his knuckles when your hands were interlocked with one another. “Everyone is so protective of each other in the crew…” you explained, eyes looking down. “I’m hoping that I can provide something to make the others comfortable around me.”

He looked at you, with full attention. He sighed, only before showing off a rare smile, causing your eyes to enlighten his expression even more. Zoro slowly placed his forehead on yours, not minding that you two were in a large aesthetic art shop—covered by different supplies amongst the walls and the pieces that were up for show.

“You seem to make everyone happy just the way you are,” he said sternly. “But I meant it when I say that I want to protect you.”

Your lips trembled, watching his deep stare into your own eyes with his forehead resting amongst yours. Warm. That was how he felt; safe, comely—a place to call home.

“If I can protect you too,” you laughed brightly. “I want to do the same.”

‘Stop… acting cute.’

Zoro smirked, pulling away before the stomping from the outside grew into loud thunder. His eyes darted from its rare soft composure to a more grimace glance. Not to be rudely interrupted by the irritating Marines, but it was best to find a way out of the shop as soon as possible—and hope that he’d be able to make sure you’d head back safely to the ship.

When the crowd of bantering Marines had died down from the outside, Zoro grabbed ahold of your hand and then dragged you out of the shop harshly. He murmured faint apologies, not wanting to cause you to fall into a frantic panic, but it was best to find the way out of the city fast—with the beating of his heart falling into a rapid marathon, he was truly uncomfortable with these consistent emotions.

Need, want, the desire to protect you—or just you. Every ounce of you, every fiber of your heart, and the brightening cherry blossoms blooming in your eyes for every rare occurrence that you are laughing around others. An unusual feeling of pink swirled inside him; as if pink and raspberry mixed together within his heart.

He liked it—and much to his surprise, he wanted more of it.

Happiness. With one person.

“We have to go,” Zoro said bluntly.

You nodded without arguing. “Ah, sure, okay. I think I heard that the Marin—”

“Let’s not talk about it in public, right now.”

“Got it.”

“Don’t let go of my hand, ‘kay?”

“Sure,” your bottom lip trembled. “Sorry.”

He looked back, still walking towards a familiar dirt path that you both walked across on. And God, let it be the correct route.

“Why’re you apologizing?” He asked, raising a brow.

“I feel like it’s my fault.”

“What—no,” he retorted. “You know the Marines have always been on our ass for a long time now. Don’t apologize; roll with what’s happening. We’re going to get back on the ship safely—that’s if the others made it back before anything shitty happens.”

He ran, with your hand tangled with his. No other questions, arguments, or bickering had been made. Zoro sensed the tingle of insecurity brewing within your stomach. He never understood much about that tension of anxiety—and uncertainty of one’s self. Though he did try to relate to it on a different basis when it only came to his own swordsmanship.

“Are we going the right way?”

You asked, and he nearly jolted on his steps. “I think so,” Zoro exhaled quickly, only to hear rustling near the trees after you both escaped the city. “You’re my guide. Lead us back home to the ship.”

“Do you hear that?”

“Loud and clear.”

And within seconds, he took out two swords, ready to twirl one into his mouth right before a sneaky Marine tried to get ahold of him. Silly gestures from these folks were something he had grown used to, only hopes of you not getting injured in any way.

“Watch it, Y/N!” He shouted, using the back of his sword to hardly push the soldier away back into the bushes. Zoro turned to you—eyes enlarged with your hands shaking. A pang of anxiety hit; it usually did, whenever your presence was in the sight of danger. ‘Why? Oh, yeah.’ He definitely knew, though did not fully wish to physically admit it.

“I—”

“Are you okay?” He asked. “That was nothing but you seem shaken up. Still not used to everything yet?”

“I mean, it still catches me off guard,” you spoke cautiously.

“Our ship has flown high off the sea and you’re still scared of one little Marine, huh?” He chuckled humorously, only to have you keep your head down. “Don’t worry about it. Glad to see that you’re safe.”

“I’m—”

“Don’t apologize,” Zoro interrupted sternly, voice blunt in its tone. “Stop apologizing for things that are out of your control.”

“I’m so—” you placed a palm over your mouth, letting out an awkward chuckle. “Ah, I was about to just—”

“I know,” he smirked, only to sigh afterward. “C’mon, we can’t wait any longer.”

“Ah. Right.”

Slowly, his smirk grew into a rare soft grin.

“You’re supposed to lead me back home. So take my hand, and try not to let go.”

“Figured I would find you here.”

You ignored the familiar voice, only to have you sit close to the Sunny’s head, where you rested your body on the railing. Zoro mentioned that you didn’t show up for dinner, nor did you try to snatch a plate after hours where you’d be the most comfortable.

The moon shone silver; constellations scarred with its stars. Navy blue looked appealing, with each star to guide one home. Zoro watched you look up, only to glance down at the sketchbook on your lap and then eye the stories up above. However, his eyes could only faint down to your quiet posture, where not one moment of eye contact was shared.

He sat down next to you, arms crossed; the kimono he lent you was still prominent around your body. Zoro wanted to comment on it, though he remained quiet and chose that actions were a more definite sense of speaking how he felt within the moment.

Scars would bleed, though at least, his heart believed in the identity of what home could be. To be with the Straw Hats—and to dream of a future with a person that he could cherish every moment with. One to protect, one that’d make his heart blossom roses and tulips in ways that he’d never imagined his own garden would grow—one to announce his sense of happiness and desire in a sentimental signal.

“You don’t have to talk,” he said before trailing his hand with yours.

He turned his head, knowing the growth of warmth creeping up the pillar of his neck. Though the stars above enlightened the fair bits of his skin tone, and you snuck a glance his way every so often.

“Do you want to hold my hand?” He asked; you didn’t nod, instead, you decided to respond back with the entanglement of your fingers with his—all in one.

“Remember,” Zoro said, gripping your hand tight. “I don’t want you to always feel alone.”

Shyly, you turned away, biting your bottom lip. Zoro watched your behavior, wondering if he had been pressing matters too far with the hand-holding. Though, part of his mind cheered him on—how it all felt right. Exactly as he pleased and wanted. And he exhaled tiredly, only to have him straighten his back against the wall of the ship.

“Zoro…”

Your voice soothed him, much like the waves of the sea. He raised a brow, trying to prevent his legs from shaking in nervousness. How could a swordsman like him be so voiceless with his own feelings—especially for you?

He was not like the cook, that was for sure.

(Thank God.)

“Yeah?” He responded.

You looked down, watching the empty page in your sketchbook. Hand lost in its shakes; moon glowed from afar. “Would you feel uncomfortable if I asked you for a favor?”

“Depends on the favor.”

“Would you?”

Zoro fought back a yawn. “It depends like I said. Although, if it’s you… don’t think you could make me feel uncomfortable, really…”

You blinked, slowly gripping onto the pencil with your free hand.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Okay, um.”

He blinked. “Yeah?”

“Is it okay if I could draw you?”

Zoro stared at you for a moment, with a brief pause, and the chilly wind to dangle his earrings. He huffed childishly, crossing his arms after letting your hand go, and then he rolled his head back against the wall of the ship.

“Would my usual pose be me when I take my naps?” He joked, showing off a hint of a smirk. “Go ahead.”

You eyed him for a brief moment, and your eyes locked onto his. A moment quiet and pleasant enough to capture a picture for a memento. Though an illuminating smile was enough to cause his heart to flutter, and he closed his eyes; smirk softening to a thin line. And you sketched him out, from shoulders and up.

For what was twenty minutes that seemed like forever, Zoro noted the sweet moment of peace. He offered night duty—again—only to capture your attention once more. And he replayed the short bickering of the cook in his head, on how to properly charm a woman and that Zoro never understood the difference between handling kitchen knives compared to his swords.

Anything to keep his head occupied, though he occasionally opened an eye to peek at you fully immersed with the dragging of a pencil upon rough paper. He was no artist, not unless it came with his sword styles, though Zoro was fully aware that he could manage to respect other people’s peak of creativity—he envied it, almost. With the pale moon above him to speak loudly of his feelings, at least, for the little moments he shared with you—he embraced his interest in others with your presence around.

Never did another person make him feel the way you did. Adventures with the Straw Hats were exhilarating. He was a man hungry for blood; thirsty for a battle if it meant for him to improve bit by bit in order to achieve his goal to be the world’s greatest swordsman.

However, you were different.

When did the adventures of just napping in the same room as you ever bring him a heavenly sound of peace? Or the moments where you both did not share many conversations yet he preferred to be around your space more than any of his other crewmates? Consistently, he asked himself—though the feelings were obvious from the start.

‘I think I’m in love with you.’

But how could he say those words?

“I think I’m done.”

He opened his eyes, and you turned your sketchbook over to show off his portrait. The lines were hatched, but he knew it was him. Truly, you were delicate with your own work—passionate with every stroke possible.

Zoro smiled softly, looking at the shading areas below his neck and on his face, most likely resembling the moon shining from up above.

“It’s beautiful,” he said. “Just like you.”

You choked. “Ha—”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way!” Zoro retorted, gritting his teeth from his sudden comment. “Shit, sorry to make it weird.”

“No, you’re fine, I just…”

His eyebrows elevated. “What is it?”

“I want to smack you for this.”

“What?”

“Like,” you groaned, shutting your sketchbook to a close. “The way you make me feel. I know how I feel about you, and it’s annoying me every time I get near you.”

He blinked, raising his head straight. “Y/N, list—”

“I’m sorry,” you exhaled, placing a palm on your face. “I probably ruined everything because of what I said but I don’t really care anymore. I think I love you.”

Zoro sat up properly, furrowing his eyebrows.

“I really screwed everything up, I didn’t mean—”

“Y/N, listen to—”

“I’m sorry, Zoro, can you forget what I—”

“Dammit, Y/N, listen to me!” He nearly shouted, only to get your attention properly before he threw his hands on your face, causing you to gasp. Zoro’s arms shook; eyes enlarged. His body was rushing in adrenaline, yet he showed no fear—for once, with his confusing feelings. “I didn’t mean to yell, but I need you to listen.”

Your shoulders lowered, giving him access to place his forehead down close to your neck.

“Can we please forget what I said?” You pleaded.

Zoro sighed, before slowly throwing his arms around you and then pulling you close to his embrace. Not once did he ever show this kind of affection to any other member—this was different. New. An open light at the end of a tunnel; and he smirked proudly, even with his lip quivering.

“No,” he responded harshly, before clearing his throat. “Because I love you too.”

“What?” You said, face shaking in surprise.

“I don’t know what the hell you do to me, but I got confused with my own damn feelings. Every time I’m around you, I can’t control myself right,” he confessed, gritting his teeth. His grip on your body tightened, causing you to gasp. “I feel like I have to protect everyone here, but with you. It’s different. Something about you makes me feel like I need to make sure you’re safe with me. That you can trust me.”

Zoro pulled away from the hug, only to keep his palms inching further up to your face. He sent off a soft smirk, blush prominent on his cheeks before exhaling.

“I’m pretty sure those feelings make it obvious on my end th—that I love you too.”

“Wh—Zoro,” you gulped. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t blame you. I never really say this stuff to… anyone.”

“But…” you grinned, fighting back tears in your eyes. You shakily put your hands on his arms, where he parted his lips at your quivering state. “I’m so glad you feel the same way.”

He nodded, right before he placed his lips on yours. In a surprising turn of events, you found yourself kissing him back, feeling the prominent smirk on his lips. Zoro noted the change of color within his heart throughout the kiss—from a dull contrast to a brightening, shade of pink, all colored on his cheeks and the swirly feeling within his chest. Not once did he regret the moment of tranquility.

When he broke the kiss, he grinned proudly, right before you threw yourself onto his chest. He fell back on the floor, only to chuckle deeply at your happy reaction. His hand met with your shoulders, and the grip from his other hand tightened around you protectively.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I… love you too,” you whispered back.

Time unknown; moon glistening above. His blush was eminent. Zoro chuckled pridefully, continuing to soothe your shaking shoulders with his hand.

“Did anyone know about… your feelings?” You asked.

He shrugged, smirking at the sky. “A certain cook, I guess.”

“Did you ask him for, like, I don’t know,” you laughed. “Love advice?”

Zoro rolled his head further back, only to see a cloud of smoke near the upper deck and a familiar man with blond hair. Due to the dark light, he wasn’t able to notice much, except for a smirk following suit from the familiar chef after he had lit his cigarette. Zoro told himself to lay off the fighting with Sanji, even for a bit—at least for a while.

Then, he eyed the clouds above him—all hiding stories beneath them with waves of constellations. A future that was meant to be calm, soothing, filled with endless harmony—to spend it with a special someone, in hopes that it would be you, where your souls intertwined at the blink of the ocean’s horizon.

Zoro couldn’t help but snicker at your words.

“Something like that.”

#zoro #zoro x reader #roronoa zoro #zoro x you #one piece x reader #one piece x you #roronoa zoro x you #roronoa zoro x reader #one piece imagines #zoro imagines

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captnjacksparrow · 3 years

Note

Hello!! Well this came to my mind and would be interesting to put into words.

Something that her fans were right is that she hadn't to accept Rock Lee's confession and love. For them a No was No, which is hilarious becase their princess didnt do this with sasuke lol but anyway. After Lee saves Sakura in Death Forest, she changes her attitude towards him and started to be nice , she even defends him when Naruto said something aboout bushy-eyebrows. Even more, i dont actually remember scenes where she is rude against him after that incident in the forest. She tried to encouraged him and most of the time she was "nice" with Lee. In the Hospital in part 1 she was going to visit Sasuke and she also thought of Lee, so she gifted him some flowers too.

-All of this I speak from the anime canon, manga i dont remember tbh. Also in movies I remember her being nice with Lee too- So, what's my point and question? Why is she so bitchy towards Naruto? While she is nice -or try to- with Lee (which he fucking deserves this treatment of course) , why she is still so ungraceful towards Naruto? Naruto saved her much more times than Lee, but still she can be nice with him. I get that when you are confident with someone, you tend to "insult" more lets say. But i get that feel when naruto is around of shikamaru or the other guys. We know how he and Sasuke treat each other ♥ But still, i dont get this with Sakura. Even more, did she ever defend Naruto? From other people I mean. If she could change her attitude for Lee, being almost a good friend.

I always think about this @melody-of-lost-souls 🤔🤔🤔.... Why is she bitchy towards Naruto alone??

There is this hard fact that every author with just half a braincell knows, that is, 'IF YOU WANT A CHARACTER TO BE LIKEABLE, MAKE IT BEHAVE NICER TOWARDS THE MAIN CHARACTER'.

To be honest, I started to like Sasuke because of that very fact 'He was extremely nice towards Naruto in his own way' and later I started to adore him because of his own backstory. But the first spark was because of Episode 3, Orphan insult scene.

It seems Kishi never had that intention to make Sakura be an honest friend with Naruto even in The Last movie. So, ummm.... Yup.

Like you said, Sakura changed her attitude towards Lee and she encouraged him when he was wounded after fighting Gaara. But anyways, she again went onto being a bitch in the Kage Summit Arc, by leaving Lee on the road without any care!!! So... That's what you can expect from her🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ But that's not the point of this post. Is it??

Point to be noted : Sasuke and Naruto insulting each other shows their comfort level with each other. Sakura harassing Naruto is not the same thing. Never.

I think she spoke for Naruto before Sasuke twice. One, In the forest of the Death. Two, Under the Bridge. But it doesn't matter.

She should've defended Naruto from Sasuke's attacks in Orochimaru hideout like Sai.

She should've worried about Naruto's wounds after Naruto came back like an Egyptian Mummy from fighting in VoTE in part 1. Instead she was worried about Sasuke alone.

She should've fought Sasori for Naruto's safety sake instead of getting information about Sasuke.

She should’ve stayed with Naruto when he went with Karui to deal with Sasuke’s Akatsuki activities.

She should've stood up for Naruto in her final confession like 'Sasuke-kun, if you touch Naruto, I'll have to kill you eventhough I love you'... Yeah, she wouldn't stand a chance against Sasuke. But her character would've shined a lot.

So, Nope. She defending Naruto couple of times but letting him down countless other times doesn't matter.

WHY SAKURA TREATS NARUTO BADLY ?

After thinking about all the possibilities,

SOCIAL STATUS OF NARUTO

Sakura is the reflection of the Villagers' mindset. That is, The object of Hatred who should be treated like pest.

She definitely gave me that vibe in Episode 3. She literally treated him like a plague and I wanted to slap her so hard ever since. But even after the Pain Arc, I mean after Naruto became a Hero by making peace with Nagato, she still behaved like a Worst Bitch.

If she truly represents the social dynamics of the Villagers, she should have become a good friend like Shikamaru or Neji long back. But she didn’t.

So, we can safely eliminate this possibility.

SAKURA THINKS NARUTO IS 'THIRDWHEELING'

Well, This is from Chapter 3. So, I think whenever Sakura makes a move on Sasuke, Naruto accidentally comes in between her one-sided ‘duck dreams’ and spoil her party. It seems this has been going on for a long time. So, she just hates him for that.

I found this ‘coming between’ thing twice in part 1. The first time was when Naruto stole the ‘First Kiss’ of Sasuke.

Second time was when Naruto was about to fight Gaara.

Here, Sakura was fretting over Sasuke’s cursed Seal and when Naruto asked her a question, she responded with a ‘Devil Face’. I mean is there any need to get angry at this time? There’s a monster standing before them and all she worries about is her poor ‘Sasuke-Kun’ and not even bothered about her surroundings, because Naruto will do the dirty job. All she can do is touch and worry about Sasuke.

Well, In reality she is the one coming between them and she never realized that. What a self-absorbed Trash!!!

SAKURA IS JEALOUS

Naruto receives something from Sasuke that she never got from him, not until the very end and even today. That is, Attention.

I noticed this in the Manga. Surprisingly, I guess none of the SNS bloggers brought this very cute panel up for discussion. It’s not in the Anime though!!

This is from Chapter 3 page 6. (Geez!!!! Chapter 3 is a Gold Mine for SNS)

As you see Sakura was watching Sasuke up close like a Fruit Cake. It seems, Sasuke doesn’t give 2 fucks about her or anyone!!!

Now Let’s go back to Page 5 and see what happened earlier.

Naruto has been intensely throwing knives from his eyes. And you know what!!! Sasuke noticed it and asked him ‘What?’. To which Naruto asks, ‘What do you mean what?’. LOLLLLLL.

This is their First official conversation in the Manga.😍😍😍😍😍

Sakura looking at him with love doesn’t get any reaction and Naruto’s angry stare get his attention. Well, this is not an one time occurrence!!

In the Same chapter, it occurred again

This panel screams, ‘Why pay attention to Naruto, when he is not here?’. Kishi established this dynamics in freaking Chapter 3 and it never changed towards the end. LOLLL.

Even during Chakra Training, Sakura climbed the tree very easily in the hopes that Sasuke would appreciate her or notice her with admiration. But he was never bothered about her achievements even by a bit, but he paid attention to Naruto when he found out he was slowly catching up to him🤭🤭🤭.

I always find this scene very funny and cute because just like before, Naruto throws Daggers at him visually and Sasuke was like, ‘What did I do this time?’. 😍😍😍

And this is after getting the pass to participate in Chunin Exams

Well, I don’t have to add the scenes from Orochimaru Hideout, Bridge scene and War Arc, Do I?

And the best part is Sakura knew that Naruto gets his attention. So, her jealousy is probably the reason for her to treat him so badly. Just like how she treats Ino. Since Naruto plays dunce in front of her, she takes advantage of it and used him like a Tooth Brush.

This is also one of the reason for her to treat him badly.

Because Lee never came in between Sakura and Sasuke. It was Naruto, the whole time. And that's why she was like a bitch to Naruto.

Kishimoto in his own words,

I mean, Come On!!!, Sakura is nothing compared to Naruto's power level, strength or jutsu varieties to consider him as a rival in these departments. Still she is considering Naruto as her rival.

In what????

The only thing that connects them is their obsession towards Sasuke's Acknowledgement. And Kishi himself is hinting at a love triangle with Sasuke as the central figure.

Does it means Naruto also loves Sasuke and Sakura was jealous of it???🤔🤔🤔🤭🤭🤭🤭.

Well, that makes more sense. 😂😂😂. Because I can think of no other reason for her to be a bitch towards Naruto.

Curse You, Kishimoto!!!!!!

#naruto #naruto analysis #sns #anti sakura #sasuke #sasunaru #sasunarusasu #lee

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whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst · 3 years

Text

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4

I swear folks once I get this and the last part up I’m gonna condense it all

But yeah couldn’t resist some <3

Zhang and Wu Chat

Wu Xie: Um. I’m all done with the shower if you want a turn.

Zhang Qiling: I’m alright without one.

Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?

Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.

Wu Xie: you’ve barely said anything since the necklace thingy

Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.

Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today

and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings

so just checking in you know

Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than I’ve been in a long time.

Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall

Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.

Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. It’s alright now—hey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) It’s not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isn’t so bad, at least you don’t have any uncles you know of

today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title

I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck it’s a little uhoh moment lol

I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.

Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.

Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this it’s only like 3pm

damn time flies when it’s flashing before your eyes lol

Are you on the roof? You’re def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or I’m coming up.

Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, it’s cold and raining.

Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow

something from long ago, even though you wouldn’t remember it.

It’s lucky that it liked me, huh:)

Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.

Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.

Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART

LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK

GET ON MY LEVEL

WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK

BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE

SO INTERESTING HMMM

Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xie’s bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.

Wang Pangzi: UH HUH

A FAMILY MEMBER

THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS

TOLKIEN COULD NEVER

Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.

Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST

“A TECHNICALITY” WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD

ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW

YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH

Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat

Hei Yangjing: you’re welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)

Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT

Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.

Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasn’t threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped

or at least I was there for moral support maybe?

Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishan’s neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.

Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is “#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessed”

Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT

Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I should’ve known you wouldn’t be aware

It’s called performance, you wouldn’t understand

it’s a ‘Gram thing

Also it means I’m a great person

Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called “blocking ppl” that gets them out of my phone.

Hei Yangjing: nah

Can’t trust that Wu Xie, bae can’t tell a coffin from an urn amirite

it’s not a thing, blocking

Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. I’ll show you later, Zhang Qiling.

Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.

Hei Yangjing: You’d have to do something to tire me out ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, I’m just asking.

Hei Yangjing: uh that’s a big nope

First off all Idk when I’ll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two

Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird

(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)

Also I’m a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back he’d be better at it.

Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.

Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I don’t really wanna tap that.

Xie Yuchen: I see.

Hei Yangjing: do you tho

Main Chat

Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D

Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES

FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING

Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)

Wang Pangzi: …YOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.

WU XIE

WU XIE WHY

Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.

Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US

LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT

UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING

WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU

WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT

Wu Xie: look, let’s focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! It’s really quite nice-looking when it isn’t moving of its own volition.

Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM

ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS

Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. I’ll come to the kitchen.

Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!

Wang Pangzi: I SEE

WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS “FUCK IT WHY NOT” SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT

LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP

IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT

Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design… I’d love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.

Kinda sad we couldn’t borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/

ah well it’s for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3

Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.

Wu Xie: ???????

Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3

Wu Xie: I—

Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?

#whomst #ultimate note #wu xie #dmbj #the lost tomb #pingxie #iron triangle #dmemebj

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nessinborderland · 3 years

Note

Theeen I'll take this chance and request something with Niragi x fem! reader, kinda angst/smut. Where the reader is new to the beach and accidentally runs into Niragi. He threatens her, but Hatter interrupts them and since then reader can't forget Niragi. 🥵🔥

Btw, I really love your latest chapters! 💕

Pairing: Niragi x Reader

Genre: Smut

Words: 999

Summary: You fear him as much as you want him in you. Lucky for you, Niragi isn't a man that holds back.

Warnings: dub/non con, breeding kink

Notes: Here is another one where I took some creative liberties (tbh I think I'll do it with every submission lol, I can't help it)

He terrifies you; he does. He scares you so much you can’t stop thinking about him. When you wake up at night, all sweaty and with your hand in between your legs, it’s out of fear. Fear that he will just barge in your room in the middle of the night and finish what he started. Fear that he will fuck you until you’re a sloppy mess, his cum sliding down your tighs.

Or at least that’s what you tell yourself.

If Hatter hadn’t interrupted him on that first night, who knows what could’ve happened. He could have raped you, tortured you, killed you...

You hate not knowing.

You can still remember his body pressed against your back, forcing you against a wall as his hands slid under your shirt. He whispered filthy things in your ear; scary things. But you still couldn’t control the wetness that grew in your core at each word; how much you wanted his taste on your tongue, or his cock deep inside your throbbing cunt.

It was exhilarating. After so much time alone, playing deadly games to survive, that kind of threat made you...feel alive. It was like a fire that you thought was long dead, finally spreading through your whole body. You had never felt anything like that before.

That’s why you don’t run or scream when you hear your bedroom door open; you know who it is instantly. You hold your breath as you hear his footsteps coming closer. You have to control yourself not to move; if you move he might go away. You don’t want that.

You feel him behind you as he stops at the edge of your bed. You can sense his eyes on you, burning all over your body. He gives a low chuckle.

“Oh, don’t tell me you were expecting me,” he whispers in your ear. You wonder for a moment if he knows that you’re awake. Nonsense, of course he knows. One of his hands slides under the fine bedsheet, fingers grazing your breast, “Or do you just sleep naked every night?" he asks with a pinch to your nipple. You can’t help but gasp, and he laughs. It’s a low laugh, filled with lust and bad intent. It goes straight to your core.

He wastes no time in ripping the sheets from your grasp, leaving you completely bare in the chilly night air. A shiver runs through your body; you don’t know if from cold, fear, or arousal. Probably a mix of all three.

His body is on top of yours in seconds, just like the first time you met. His front against your back, hips tilted up as his bulge presses against your ass. But this time there is no one to interrupt you; no one to stop him. You gasp when you feel his tongue on your spine, cold piercing marking the trail his saliva leaves on your skin, from shoulder to tail bone. You can’t control the need to open your legs wider and press your ass harder against him. He chuckles.

“I bet I could sink into this pussy right now with no struggle whatsoever,” he whispers in your ear, hand sliding down the curve of your ass. You whimper when he finally touches you, fingers sliding up and down your drenched slit. You want him so badly. “I knew it,” he says in a pleased tone, “You’re so fucking wet…”

You hear the clink of his belt as he unbuckles his pants, and your pussy clenches in anticipation. Your breathing is heavy, hands slightly shaking as you grip the sheets under you. You don’t dare to look back, not even when you feel him press against your entrance.

He shoves himself inside you with a grunt, and you can’t help but cry out at the sensation. You stay still as he starts moving, hands keeping your hips up as he stretches you and fills you to the brim with each thrust. The sounds of skin slapping against skin are obscene. They echo in the room, mixing with the squelching sounds of your wetness and your moans of pleasure. It feels so unbelievably good. You don’t think anyone ever fucked you like this.

One of his hands goes to grab you by the hair, forcing your body up until you’re almost pressed against his chest. He doesn’t alter his pace, ruthlessly fucking you from behind. The new position only makes you arch your back even more; you want to take all of him.

“I knew you wanted me that first night,” he moans in your ear, “I could see it in your eyes. So horny I could’ve fucked you in front of everybody.” you clench around his cock, and the hand on your hair tightens. “Shit, do that again.” you comply, and he lets go of your hair, hand sliding down to squeeze one of your breasts. “Fuck, you’re so tight.”

He pushes you back to your previous position, this time pushing your head down, making you arch your back even more. You can feel him so deep inside you that it hurts. He makes you feel so full, so stretched. You want more of him. You clench around him again, whimpering when he slaps your ass in answer. Fuck, he feels so good.

He comes inside you with a grunt, hands grabbing your hips so tightly that you’re sure they’re going to bruise. The warming sensation as he comes inside you is enough to make you come right after, sparks of white behind your closed eyelids. He pulls out with a hiss, fingers immediately going inside you to replace his cock. You cry out from the overstimulation; your pussy is so sensitive that it burns.

“Keep my cum inside you, like the good little slut that you are.” he whisperers in your ear with a bite to your earlobe. “I’ll come back later to fill you up some more.”

You can’t help but smile and nod.

#droolingoverniragi #niragi x reader #niragi imagines #one shot #submission

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novasintheroom · 4 years

Note

Ooooo a fresh blog! Heyo there! So, my first request is some head canons, if you write them anyway, for the each of the turtles having a s/o who is usually the purest of beans. Like— she doesn’t get angry, usually shy when meeting new people, very humble, sweet and caring— but for the first time she does it’s like she realizes she’s frustrated and mad about something that happened during the day and it’s the first time she’s expressing it. the turtles notice her come in knowing something is off about her behavior when she’s usually so cheerful. Almost like “Sometimes it just makes me so— it makes me so... so...! Angry!” But she actually gets super surprised with herself realizing she’s actually venting just to say she’s fine in the end after bottling up for so long. The turtles just looking at her and asking if she’s okay 😂 If that makes any sense.. sorry if it doesn’t.

Oooooo my first ask!! I’m so nervous and excited! I think I got the gist of what you’re getting at. Thanks for sending this in, it means a lot to me! <3

Leo

· Honestly caught off guard when you come in steaming

· Your calm and sweetness is something he loves and looks forward to – it’s hard being the firm leader in his family when everyone pushes back, so you’re a pleasant break from the arguments and sassy remarks

· Not today

· It’s loud in the lair – Raph and Mikey are doing something with a basketball and hula hoop that’s got Raph raging and Mikey screaming, Donnie’s got a power tool going on the truck, and Splinter’s Celine Dion music is blaring to drown it all out while he works on pruning his plants

· Leo’s up in the concrete rafters with a book, glancing down every other minute to make sure Raph doesn’t kill Mikey

· He would have completely missed you coming in if Mikey hadn’t thrown the ball toward the entrance

· You dodge the ball before it hits you, but instead of laughing it off like usual, you throw a dark look at his brothers and beeline toward the dojo.

· Woah, that’s weird

· Avoidance of his family = big red flag

· You didn’t even say hi to him??

· Hops down and follows, waving off Mikey’s calls to you

· Finds you in the corner of the dojo, bag thrown to the side and hands smoothing out the sand of his small zen garden

· Feels a bit awkward honestly

· Listen, he’s getting better at it, but he’s not the best at feelings

· Especially girl feelings

· He knows something’s up though, and he wouldn’t be a good beau if he just let you simmer

· Spooks you when he asks if you’re okay

· Darn those ninja skills, how is someone as big as him so silent?

· You sigh and just say you had a fight with your roommate and that it’s fine, you just needed some quiet before you went to his family

· Okay, coolcoolcool. He can work with this. He and Raph fight all the time! “What was the fight about?”

· Cue explosion

· “She doesn’t pay her part of the bills on time, and she has her boyfriend over constantly and I can hear them through the walls when they’re screwing because the stupid cheap apartment has stupid cheap thin walls, and she leaves her dishes everywhere even when I ask her to not be a slob, and the landlord is getting after me for her rent when– “

· W o w

· He didn’t think you knew any swear words, but the names you’re calling your roommate would make even Raph blush

· Your rant goes on and on

· Anytime he tries to suggest a solution you get angry at him like why can’t he just listen omg

· He shuts up quick

· Somewhere in the process he sat down and your head moved to his lap while you laid all your problems out

· By the time you’re finished your chest is heaving and it’s been an hour

· Leo’s scared to say something in case you go off again lmao

· He just plays with your hair and hums while you calm down

· Finally you look at him with wide eyes, “Wow, geez, I didn’t think I was that mad.”

· He can’t help but laugh, “Me neither.”

· Your smile is back, though, and that’s the best thing he’s seen all day

· “You feeling better now?”

· You say yes, and give him a good hug and kiss as thanks for his patience

· He asks you to come to him if things start building up again

· Seriously, start talking to him – I don’t think the poor guy can handle another explosion like that lol

Raph

· Raph knows anger

· Does he know how to deal with it? Ehhh that’s hit-and-miss

· But he knows it

· So seeing your tense shoulders, clenched fists, grinding teeth when you walk in – he knows you’re angry

· It’s a bit off-putting tbh – you’re the calm to his rage, the quiet touch to wind him down when something gets under his skin

· What happened to make his quiet girl so mad?

· Did someone say something about your family?

· Or something about your outfit?

· Did a skeevy guy try to touch you?

· Did someone try to kiss you?

· Okay, now he’s getting mad

· Decides to take a page from Splinter’s book and pulls you aside to talk

· “What’s the matter?”

· You pull at your sleeves, looking anywhere but him

· You just mumble you’re fine, and that you’re hungry and try to move to the kitchen

· Nuh-uh, that don’t work with him

· Catches you by the arm and gives you a look, “Somethin’s bothering you, and you’re gonna tell me what it is.”

· “And what if I don’t wanna talk about it?”

· “Tough luck.”

· Your glare could curdle milk, but you don’t say anything

· Alright, you wanna play it that way? He’s got three brothers he grew up with; he can get it out of you.

· Hauls you up and tosses you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and takes you to his workout station

· Ignores your screams of outrage and the beating fists on his shell

· They’re like little kitten paw pats; he can’t help but smile at how small you really are

· When he sets you down in front of a world-weary punching bag, he crosses his arms and waits

· You’re red faced and snarling. “What are you doing?”

· He raises a fist, and gives the bag a good punch – “That’s for when Mikey backwashed into my water bottle today.” He throws another punch, “And that’s for Donnie’s stupid snorts waking me up last night,” and another, “and now I’m back on Mikey’s backwash!”

· He stops the bag’s swaying and gestures for you to take a turn

· Realization dawns in your eyes. You look at your fist and throw a pathetic punch at it. “That’s…for my fifth plant…dying this week?”

· He almost laughs, but nods encouragement

· You punch again. “That’s for whoever stole my lunch out of the fridge at work.”

· And again. “And for those kids who spit on that homeless guy!”

· And again. “And for Gina’s face when she made fun of my teeth!”

· Punch after punch, you let out your anger and frustrations that boiled over today

· Raph’s impressed – not just with how much crap happened to you, but how long you held it in

· You’re a lot stronger than he gave you credit for

· He’s also a bit freaked at seeing the rage in your eyes

· Is that what others see when he comes at them?

· Yeesh

· You feel a lot better after the session, if sheepish for letting so much anger show

· But he brushes it off, “Hey, you see how I am. It don’t bother me none, sweetheart.”

· He pinches your butt for good measure as you walk back to the lair and laughs when you punch him in the arm

Donnie

· The one that takes the longest to realize something’s up

· He can’t help it! He’s busy making sure his family is safe and hidden! He’s gotta keep the firewall up-to-date from all the new viruses being put out, check the perimeter lasers so that no one sneaks up on them, change the oil in the Turtle Tank, and why is the computer sparking over here, he needs to ask Raph or Leo to come with him to get new parts at the junkyard, but if he –

· Bumps into you and is like ‘oh. how’d you get in here’

· Delighted to see you though! It’s like all his worries suddenly vanished when he realized ‘oh yeah! I have a girlfriend!’ and that’s you!

· Missed you a lot since it’s been a few days since you could visit

· Starts showing you all of the progress he’s made on certain things, asks you how school’s going, how was that group project you had, did you get that interview for work?

· It’s your clipped and short answers that finally makes him take a step back and really see how you’re doing

· You’ve always been enthusiastic about his inventions, even if you don’t completely understand every technical thing he talks about. He thought you guys were past the awkward conversations too.

· Clipped answers are a big no-no – it makes him shrink inside, like his words and ideas don’t matter

· Takes a few seconds to look you over – awkward seconds, ones where you look down and away and not at him

· “Are you alright? Did…something happen?”

· You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself, but then the words just start pouring out: “I’m sorry, it’s just, I can’t stop thinking about how my supervisors treated me the past few days. They scheduled me to work a triple shift! Without asking me! And I told them I had a date with you, and a million other things to do, but – “

· You lay it out for him, apologizing every other minute for just putting this on him out of the blue, that you tried really hard to be happy coming to the lair but your boss just text you that you have another shift tonight instead of getting to hang out with Donnie, and –

· Donnie sits you both down in a couple of chairs, his hands holding your own as you keep talking and venting

· Rubs circles into your palm, eyes never straying from your own watery and frustrated ones

· A breath out of the nose is the end to your rant, and you lean to put your head on his shoulder. “I just hate when people spring things on me! I just wanna stay with you and hand you tools to work on stuff.”

· His heart warms at this, even if he’s sad at how sucky your job is

· And it gives him an idea

· He manages to hack into your work’s scheduling system and put your supervisors or fellow employees in your place for the night

· Even sends out a text masked as your head boss to whoever he put, letting them know they’re on the job and that you had an emergency

· You’re torn on this – those people had things they had to do too

· But Donnie reassures you: “If they’re as bad as you say, then getting more people mad at them might just make them change. If not, we at least get to have our date night, right?”

· Well, when you put it that way…

· He gets a big, long smooch for pulling it off and for listening to you

Mikey

· Listen, this boy is intuitive when it comes to emotions.

· He kinda has to be with the type of older brothers he has lmao

· Instantly knows something’s up by the sound of your feet coming down the tunnels – heavy, like you want to stomp them but don’t know how

· He’s geared up though – his baby girl’s coming!

· Hops off the couch and has the biggest grin for you when you walk in

· Doesn’t even falter when he sees the glower on your face

· Says something stupid to test the waters – “Woah, babe, I’m gonna have to call the cops – I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to be as fine as you are!”

· Not even a smirk.

· Okay okay. Obvi you’re not in a happy mood.

· Man, he was hoping for a little blush at least!

· Takes that heavy bag off your shoulders you’ve been lugging around all day and corrals you back to the couch

· Grabs some sodas and a few chocolate bars from his hidden stash in the kitchen

· He knows you need it more than him right now

· Sits down and calls out to the lair that “we’re making out on the couch!!” Def keeps his family from coming in and interrupting lol

· Isn’t even phased when you explode about your day – your coworker had it out for you, your professor told the whole class that your paper was what not to do if you wanted a good grade, etc. etc.

· Mikey accents your day with “No!” and “He didn’t!” and “What a jerk!”

· It’s cathartic to hear someone agree with you like that

· He takes you in his arms when the frustrated tears start falling and you start to wind down

· “It just makes me so angry, and I hate feeling embarrassed and…”

· Rubs circles on your back to help calm you, just like his family did to him growing up

· After a minute you’re better, and back to your sweet, happy self, if still a bit stuffy from the tears and snot

· You’re surprised and apologize for your emotions, but he stops you

· “Hey, everyone has their bad days! Sometimes you just gotta let it out, y’know?”

· You give him a big kiss for being so sweet

· Makes the day a lot better after that with the soda and candy and some video games

· He’s a good turt <3

#tmnt #reader x tmnt #reader x leo #reader x mikey #reader x raph #reader x donnie #reader insert #answer #anonymous question #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #sfw #leonardo x reader #raphael x reader #michelangelo x reader #donatello x reader #my writing

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hmgfanfic · 3 years

Note

Hi! I’m a huge fan of your fic but I’m slightly 😬 about the premise of your MBB. Cheating is a sore spot for me but I love how nuanced your Eliot POV is. Could you give a little bit of context about how you approach it? The angst level? You can ignore this if you don’t want to give things away! I’m happy to reread Not Always Folly a thousand more times 💛

Hey there, anon friend! First of all, thank you so much for your kind words about my writing and about my weird rebel child fic, which still occupies a big soft spot in my own heart. I appreciate it so much! Second of all, I’m ALWAYS happy to talk about my fic at even the slightest provocation, so thank you for that, too. ;)

As for your question about Anchor Escapement—

The opening scene features Eliot hooking up with one of his classmates, Aaron, with whom he has had a preexisting acrimonious relationship, after they manage to have their first semi-civil interaction at a New Year’s Eve party. But more pertinently to your interests, the hook-up comes on the heels of Aaron bitching about the inattentiveness and “aggressive melancholy” of his current boyfriend of ~10ish weeks… but Eliot doesn’t particularly take this information into account in his decision to sleep with the guy (or if he does, it’s not in the way most people would like.) So the hook up commences lacklusterly, until, of course, inevitably: enter Quentin, aka Eliot’s future husband, who is arguably more horrified by Eliot’s dismissive reaction to the situation than the fact that he just got cheated on. Then fade to black and cut to three months later.

SO.

If you read this set up and instantly recoiled and/or found it essentially irredeemable, then… yeah, this fic probably isn’t for you. And that’s (hopefully obviously) totally cool! There’s plenty of stuff that I can’t deal with in fics even by writers I admire, and reading experiences are super personal. I knew when I wrote this that cheating and infidelity are definitely among the most common squicks, so this question doesn’t surprise me at all. But if your interest is still piqued enough to give it a shot, I’d also say if you can get through NAF’s angst levels, this one is honestly a piece of cake, lol.* There’s some conflict towards the end that comes from early-laid external circumstances/plottiness, which in turn sparks insecurities, but it’s pretty short-lived, tbh.

Ultimately, my goal was to tell a story about forgiveness, trust, effort, and the value of baby steps of progress, with a foundation centered on how much Quentin and Eliot really, really, really like each other, no matter what. And it’s also about how Eliot Waugh can be a touch self-involved (<3 ily baby), a lot of which is trauma-based and some of which is being 25, but how that isn’t actually incompatible with his enormous heart. Whether I succeeded is up to you, but the fic as a whole is maybe not necessarily as juicy/scandalous as it sounds on the tin?

Anyway, tldr: If you can get through the premise/the first chapter, I think the fic itself is manageable even if you’re hesitant about infidelity. If not, zero hard feelings. 💗

*MILEAGE VARIES. I am notoriously bad at gauging angst levels! But at the very least, I *intended* this one to be far less “angsty,” especially from an emotional landscape perspective, insofar as it doesn’t mimic the Mosaic/El’s not so closed off here.

#anon asks #<3!!!!#harri writes #anchor escapement

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muchalucha91 · 3 years

Text

I know I said I was going to post more art stuff, but I just watched Fairy Tail for the first time and first of all I loved it and am now reading it lol and second, as I’ve scrolled through the Fairy Tail side of tumblr I haven’t seen anyone talk about how all-around STRONG Lucy is. This was actually going to be a comment on a Pinterest post, but I ran out of space heheh...it also might be rambling due to thoughts and feelings, but I’ll try my best to not make it so 😅 here’s the pic that sparked this for reference:

I feel like people sleep on Lucy’s overall strength all the time. In the beginning, she’s not very magically strong, but we get to watch her magic grow and we get to see her become a truly powerful wizard, which is super fun, tbh. Physically, she--and, like, 90% of the rest of the female characters--has Jessica Rabbit proportions, like, I do not know how she stays upright a lot of the time and in that episode when Gray switched bodies with her, before he knew what happened he was like, “why is my back killing me??” or something and I thought that was a nice touch because of course she has back pain! Hahaha Anyway, she’s not only carried a passed-out, dead-weight, motion-sick Natsu on her back more than once...I think she actually ran with him on her back, she also gets beaten to a pulp MULTIPLE times (Gajeel was one of if not the first to almost kill her this way, if I’m remembering right) and survives, so she’s physically strong as FUCK. Then add that to the fact that she’s usually able to get back up and even be able to forgive and become friends with some of the people who’ve tried to literally beat her to death (like Gajeel and Minerva) takes a mental/emotional strength I know I don’t have. She could have easily said, “nope. I’m out. This is too much”, but she never does. Piggybacking off her mental strength, she’s also hella smart and at no point did I feel she was just the pretty, “dumb blonde”, rich (as we find out later) girl. Yes, she, Erza, Wendy, and all the others have ditzy moments, but don’t we all?😂

Side tangent, but also kind of relative? My bf asked/said something to me along the lines of why am I okay with the oversexualization of most of the women in this show since, ya know, a lot of the time women look/dress like that to only be one dimensional eye candy. I told him it’s because they’re all like Lucy: intelligent, strong, and independent. When I first started Fairy Tail, I fully expected Natsu or Gray or even Happy to come swooping in to save Lucy, but more often than not no one comes and it’s up to the woman in trouble to save herself and the majority of the time she does. And not only that, all the men 10000000% acknowledge and respect *ahem* and sometimes fear *ahem* their female guildmates’ abilities, thoughts/ideas, feelings, existence, etc.! (I’m not ignoring the pervy moments some of the men had, those moments are far outweighed by the times I mentioned before) With that kind of strength, intelligence, respect, and badassery wear whatever the fuck you want.

Anyhoo, if you made it this far, thanks for sticking around, I’d love to hear others’ thoughts if you got ‘em! Just remember: don’t be an asshole.🖤🧚🏼‍♀️

#fairy tail #lucy heartfilia #strong female characters #love it

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thatpinkbetch · 4 years

Text

Bkdk Fic Rec

I’ve been inspired to write a fic rec! This one goes out to you @lonely-rabbit

At like, the end of 2018 and the beginning of 2019 I stayed up until 4am every night reading fics, and because I’m such a loser, I made a word doc to keep track of all of them so I wouldn’t forget them.... I tried organizing it by length but it got messy cause I’m ridiculous and cluttered, so sorry! (I’ll save my own for the end alskdjflsdkfj gotta self promote you know). This is going to get...really long, so I’ll put it under a read more! Also, just a heads up, these are all on ao3, in case that’s important to anyone!

Disclaimer: Any fics with mature or explicit content I will add a bolded warning for, even if it’s only a little bit. Normally most fics will be tagged as such, but some fics that are rated as teen I’ve found to be more suggestive than some of those rated as mature, so I will try to point it out where it feels necessary, for anyone who wishes to avoid it.

Fics under 1k:

Illuminate by TheQueen (269 words)

Summary: Bakugou watches the first firework launch and fights to keep his face neutral

Very short, plot is about a case of amnesia, also very cute and well written for that length! Not angsty at all imo

sweaty hands holding secrets - shounentwink (563 words)

Summary: Someone said Midoriya holds secrets in his hair.

It’s not true: He holds it tightly in his hands. Bakugou’s seen it.

I really like this writer! You’ll see quite a bit of them in this post alkdsjfalskdjf

Fics 1k - 10k:

Many sunflowers later - Jeka (2395 words)

Summary: Scholar Midoriya Izuku comes back to the person he left behind after his journey through the kingdom, the mighty dragon clan leader Bakugou Katsuki.

Day 1 of Twin Stars Week 2020: Fantasy AU.

First of all, fantasy au!!! Second of all, jeka!!! (I need to read more of your stuff!!) Anyways, so cute, such lovely, pretty writing, wonderful story telling, and they’re so in love TT_TT

Boom Badoom Boom - warschach (3429 words)

Summary: Izuku's working the kissing booth at the school fair, it just so happens Katsuki has been crushing on him since the first grade.

“Did you—“ Izuku parted his mouth with no sound leaving it, “Did you pay?”

“Yea.”

“For a kiss?”

This one’s a little silly but I love it still. It’s got a “kids in the 80′s over summer vacation” vibe, I think. I love warschach! I should read more of their writing... They have SUCH good bakudeku content! *It’s rated teen but there’s some suggestive content, just a heads up!

Hopeless Ramen-tic - lalazee (7155 words)

Summary: Midoriya is a cute guy who works at a ramen stall and Bakugou is thirsty as hell, but has to hide it by being an asshat. Another love story.

Ah, so good TT_TT so much sass, such good plot development and story telling for a simple concept *It’s rated as teen but again, it can be suggestive at times!

I’ll share this with you, so leave it behind - yabakuboi (3508 words)

Suammry: For the sake of the story, All Might is never in need of a successor, and, when Izuku saves Katsuki from the sludge monster, encourages young Midoriya down a different path. Thus, Katsuki and Izuku part ways after junior high, as Katsuki enters U.A. and the Midoriyas move overseas. It’s later that Katsuki realizes that there’s something missing, that he drove that something away.

Years after, Katsuki finds him in the last place he looks, in the cereal aisle at the local grocery store of their childhood neighborhood.

So soft, so sweet, so good if you just want to curl up in a comfy blanket and drink hot cocoa and feel warm and cozy and a little in love

The Secret Deku Box - yabakuboi (2241 words)

Summary: “Y’know, Bakugou never, ever talks about girls,” Kaminari says, his voice thoughtful.

“And I wonder why that is.” Ashido rolls her eyes.

“I’m just curious!” Kaminari whines. Kirishima drags the box out, unlabeled and unassuming, the lid not even fully clasped over the edges. “The guy has to— Whoa, what’s that?”

Kirishima realizes a little belatedly that this is a serious breach of privacy, and Bakugou will actually murder all of them. “Nothing!” he cries, attempting to shove it back under the bed, but Ashido snatches it away.

“Please be his porn stash!” Kaminari whispers as she whips the lid off.

Cute, funny, in canon, in character, and a must read I would say!

daisy bunches and heather branches - halcyonwhispers (5862 words)

Summary: izuku falls in love with the foul-mouthed tattoo artist next door.

Not another flower/tattoo shop au.... aldskjflaskdjfd Okay but punk!Bakugou is ALWAYS a smart move imo

the best part of me (is the worst I can give) - halcyonwhispers (5668)

Summary: Whole sentences usually make up people’s Words, but Katsuki got stuck with a name instead.

Izuku’s name.

I am such a sucker for soulmate aus when it comes to these boys TT_TT *There is some mature content, just a heads up!

Hard to Say - halcyonwhispers (8390 words)

Summary: Izuku is a Halfling, born after his faerie father spirited away his mom and then left her behind. Never quite fitting in with the humans or any of the supernatural beings in his small town, Izuku hoped that going to a diverse college in the big city will help him finally make friends.

Katsuki’s family has been powerful witches for generations, and he’s no different. Talented and a proclaimed genius to boot, he knew he shouldn’t waste his time on this dumbass (disgustingly cute) half-blood.

Or,

two idiots fall in love and don’t get that the other’s awkward cues are just a result of romantic tension.

I am ALSO a sucker for fantasy/mythical creatures au and I LOVED this one - Bakugou absolutely unable to handle how cute Midoriya is? Perfection - but it’s unfinished, and I don’t think it ever will be continued, unfortunately TT_TT

lots to unpack (throw away the whole suitcase) - shounentwink (4315 words)

Summary: “How’d you know?” Midoriya asks.

There’s a hunch to his shoulders that wasn’t there three hours ago. Freckled shoulders are kissed sunburnt and red: he looks like someone ran him over and left him like roadkill in the sunlight. Bakugou’s working with insurance today, but he could see the sparks of green lightning even from his elevated position in their shared agency. Midoriya’s holding his thumb, cracking it over and over — it looks like he’s rubbed it raw.

“Dunno,” Bakugou says. “Maybe you’re just easy to read, nerd.”

I love this one so much, it was one of the first ones I read, it’s so good, and it’s another that really affected how I view their relationship! Idk this one just hit for me

hang the moon from us (it’s a no from me) - shounentwink (1200 words)

Summary: Midoriya’s gonna get sick of Bakugou one of these days, and then the whole ruse will be over, and the balance of power will tilt beyond salvation, but that day isn’t today and it looks like Bakugou knows it.

What an asshole.

Once again, I’m a sucker for the fantasy au... But even more, the diction, the details, the imagery...it’s absolutely all stunning here. I wish I could write this pretty

In Which Bakugou Finds His One Tru Luv - Erina (5862 words) This is the first one of a series called The Misadventures of Explodo-kill Agency!

Summary: Welcome to the Explodo-kill agency! We can destroy your buildings, crash your cars, and help you solve one of the seven mysteries in life: who is Bakugou Katsuki's mysterious boyfriend?!

I’ll admit I’ve only read the first three but by god they are the funniest fics I’ve ever read in my life. I see that Erina has added more since the last time I checked it out! Tbh I was only interested in reading the purely bakudeku ones... (My favorite was the second one!! SO funny and cute!)

i still do - raeryn (9646 words)

Summary: He’s losing him to pieces, but Izuku still tries to make them count. In which a battle leaves Bakugou Katsuki with amnesia, and Izuku finds himself picking up the pieces.

So, this one makes me cry. TT_TT

One Thing Straight - winningshot (9899 words)

Summary: They totally aren't.

Hints of their relationship is found in all of their friends’ social media accounts, but majority of their fans still think that Katsuki and Izuku are in relationships with anybody but each other.

It was amusing up until it became sad.

Lmao it’s a little salty but I guess I can be too. This is a social media fic! There’s multiple ships in this one, too

A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8472 words)

Summary: Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.

Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.

They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.

Okay kewltie is SO GOOD and very creative! The formatting is phenomenal, it’s like you’re actually experiencing a social media melt down in real time lol

be my good luck charm - writedeku (6785 words)

Summary: See, the thing is, Midoriya Izuku had been born with a curse. It’s not a curse that’s particularly visible. He doesn’t have horns, or a tortured face, and it’s not the kind of silly curse like a friend of his had way down south in Diagnor, wherein the girl had been born without the ability to say the word duck. Midoriya Izuku is just extremely unlucky.

(Or the AU in which Izuku's the world's unluckiest travelling merchant, and Katsuki is someone who may be able to help him. For a price, that is.)

Oh I adore this one! It’s so cute and such a good narrative! Nice and warm, and Bakugou trying his damnedest to be suave, and it somehow working because Midoriya is just as flustered. *Another one rated as teen but some suggestive content.

Smells Like Victory - majjale (2377 words)

Summary: Bakugou takes two steps into the room and stops, clapping a hand over his nose. “Ugh, what stinks like Deku in here?”

"Good afternoon, Bakugou. That would be the amortentia."

I must admit, not a fan of HP, but majjale...TT_TT majjale writes these two boys so well. This one is really, really good!

Cherish Me - Justaperson1718 (2376 words)

Summary: “What?”

Izuku looked back down at his menu and flipped the page, a small smile on his face. “Nothing.”

Katsuki glared at Izuku from across the table. “If it was nothing then you wouldn’t be staring at me.”

“It’s just a little funny watching you try to look your best for our date when you always look great anyway,” Izuku explained. He wouldn’t look up from his menu while he spoke, but his words remained ingrained with confidence nevertheless. He considered what he was saying to be fact, and nothing else. “Even when you’re not trying in front of the cameras, it’s still hard to take my eyes off of you.”

This is a sequel to a fic that’ll be in the next section, because it’s longer, called Manage Me. Please read that one first before this one! (Not part of a series, but they’re the same story line)

Fascinating - Justaperson1718 (1556 words)

Summary: “I’m not staring at you,” Izuku replied, his eyes focused intently on Katsuki. He’s still wearing his pajamas, sitting on his knees in their shared bed. He was awake moments before Katsuki, and waited eagerly for the other to awake.

Katsuki glanced over his shoulder after his shirt was on and glared. “You’re fucking staring at me right now.”

Izuku shook his head, humming his disapproval quietly. “I’m watching you.”

“That’s the same damn thing,” Katsuki said while searching for a pair of pants in the dresser. “Your eyes are fixated on me like I’m your life’s fucking goal or some shit.”

“I just like watching you get dressed.” Izuku tilted his head to the side and smiled softly at Katsuki’s confused stare. “I know, it’s weird. But I like it.”

*There is a little bit of implied mature content, but overall, it’s just so sweet and intimate, and I just simply adore this one.

in a place once filled with gold - dorenamryn (9226 words)

Summary: It felt strange to remember such details, for they were things a friend should know, and as far as Katsuki was concerned, he and Deku hadn’t been friends in a very, very long time. He could admit, with reluctance, that they were on the path there, now, even though they would never make it. Katsuki would die before they could get the chance.

or: There is a garden growing in Katsuki’s lungs, and he is helpless to stop it.

“Hanahaki disease” okay, I can explain myself. Okay, I can’t. In any case, you got angst with a happy ending if that’s what you’re into!

Kaleidoscope - DPRenFTW (5141 words)

Summary: Izuku is a witch. He just needs to find his familiar. Enter a boy that is a wolf, and a wolf that is a boy - with wild red eyes and sharp smiles.

And Izuku thinks:

"Oh, it's him."

Just as beautiful and fascinating as the name implies! I seriously recommend for the beautiful writing, the gorgeous world, the mythical creatures au, and the lovely bakudeku romance!

Learning Curve - sensiblysilly (4222 words)

Summary: Deku and Katsuki’s first kiss goes rather differently than planned.

And Katsuki’s quickly learning that relationships can be unpredictable - especially when taking into account the variable that is Midoriya Izuku.

This really is just a careful handling of a teenage romance where perhaps one of them may have shit they’re still working through. It’s really sweet, and a careful study at boundaries and the building of a relationship. I actually stumbled across this while looking for another with the same name and ended up pleasantly surprised. Kacchan can has a little validation, as a treat.

4/20 is a national holiday - Ereri_Garbage (

Summary: Izuku is a drug dealer that doesn't really accept the fact he's a drug dealer, Katsuki is hot as hell as shouldn't be allowed a facebook.

Happy (Late) birthday Katsuki and happy (late) 4/20. I actually half assed an edit on this one so it took longer to post than I thought it would.

Uummmm lmao yes I have a sense of humor. ;ALDSKJFLSKDJF Okay, I say that, but this is not a crack fic, it’s a good story that I enjoy with good writing, and *it has mature, content, obviously for multiple reasons here. It’s rated as mature but there are borderline explicit moments imo. It’s a fun fic and funny, too! And, ngl, it really does remind me of college... But forget about me, the bakudeku is wonderful too of course :)

Drinking Watermelon - warschach (8906 words)

Summary: For whatever reason, maybe divine fate, Izuku turned and looked over his shoulder and waved to them.

Katsuki’s heart full on stopped right then, and his fingers forgot their duty on the rails, and his body neglected its job to keep Katsuki balanced.

Izuku’s summer sweet smile fell into concern as Katsuki went airborne and cracked his skull on the porch.

or Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.

Love it when people have Bakugou as absolutely enamored with Midoriya; it’s so good and true. Anyways this one makes me like summer camp story lines. It’s funny and also cute and great writing! *It’s got explicit content, just a heads up. Warschach stories just have this youthful 80′s vibe, I don’t know how else to explain it.

there are listed buildings - semiautomatichearts (3309)

Summary: Katsuki first sees colors bloom when he is only three years old. It is timid Izuku, hiding behind the cover of his mother's leg who looks upon him with wide eyes, and Katsuki's world explodes in shades of greens and pinks and blues, and he is so startled, he begins to cry.

His life is then on defined in color, in shades his peers can't see, by the forlorn, timid stare in Izuku's eyes that always lets off more than he is willing to tell. There is a schism driven between himself and his fated other, and Katsuki strives to be better than fate, better than what is defined for him. He is more than the written pages of a book, to be cracked open and read by the gods.

He wonders if it is possible for colors to bloom for someone who will never love you back.

Ah...soulmates :) So interesting how bakudeku fits into soulmate aus like this one when they’ve known each other as kids! And when they’ve had this complex push and pull thing going on all their lives! The writing is beautiful, and so is the story!

Promise Ring - bkdkwritingsdump (3579)

Summary: The midwest in the 1950′s is no place for boys who like kissing boys: something Izuku and Katsuki know all too well growing up there. However, the undeniable bond between the nervous science geek and the aloof delinquent will still find a way to blossom in such a desert.

Cute, sweet, makes my gay heart ache. Longing not just for the one you love, but just to feel right loving them. Very pretty story line, lovely story telling!

Fics 10k - 30k:

Fishy - warschach (19417 words)

Summary: Izuku’s convinced his hot co-worker/neighbor, Katsuki, is a mermaid-or merman- you gotta consider genders even with mythical creatures- and plans to prove it.

(or this is kinda like the show ‘Monster Quest’, except Izuku actually finds said monster, falls in love, and have sexy times.)

Another warschach! I love this one, I love how they write bakudeku, particularly as college students, their stories (at least, the ones that I’ve read) always feel so warm, like a summer’s day, but not a lazy one, one that’s playful? If that makes sense? *This one is explicit, another heads up!

Manage Me - Justaperson1718 (10756 words)

Summary: Izuku caught himself moving forward, his head tilted somewhat to the side, and his eyes shot wide open. His gaze met Katsuki’s half-lidded eyes now that he was no longer in a dreamlike state, and seeing the way Katsuki was looking at him—waiting for him—made him realize Katsuki would’ve let him do it. He might have even wanted him to do it.

“You’re both doing fabulous!” the photographer called out to them, packing his camera into his bag and getting ready to leave. “I just got word that what we have now should be good, so we’ll stop there. Thank you for your time! Lock the door on your way out after you change.”

The pair stayed frozen in place, with Izuku’s arms around Katsuki’s neck and Katsuki’s hands resting on Izuku’s waist, while the photographer and his supervisor left.

“Kacchan,” Izuku cooed once they were gone. “Did you want to…?”

Love the story, love the bakudeku! Very, very good bakudeku TT_TT very sweet *There is some mature content in here as well

point to a map (we’ve been there) - cosmicfuss (10589 words)

Summary: Serendipity / sĕr″ən-dĭp′ĭ-tē Serendipity is the occurrence of an unplanned fortunate discovery. Two men find themselves on a subway, hot coffee on one while the other is in the middle of a screaming match. After that they can't seem to stop finding each other, no matter how far they go.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; this fic owns my entire soul. I love the story, the ease of their relationship, just how lovely they are together. It’s another kind of nice, fluffy fic you’d read on a bad day where you come home and curl up in a blanket and listen to a ten hour video of thunderstorm white noise. *Again, some more mature content in here

Partners - tsukithewolf (13619 words) Another series! Two parts to this one this time

Summary: It is said that in Musutafu there is a charm that one can buy at a temple that will lead you to your destined partner. They say that if the charm works, you would be able to follow the red string of fate to the person you were meant to be with. And if the person returns your feelings, they would be able to see the string as well, proving that both were meant to be.

Three-year-old Katsuki and Izuku misunderstand what the word "partner" means and discover the charm and the rumor behind it is not only true, but more than expected.

Gets a little heavy, depression, bullying, suicidal thoughts, etc. But it must get worse before it gets better, that kind of thing. I also just adore the second part (called Bond) - maybe because it’s much fluffier, what about it?

Learning Curve - iknewaman (10304 words)

Summary: “Izuku.” Uraraka repeats as she motions at the person stood next to her. Green curls, average height, and, well. Up close, not such a bad smile. Uraraka points a thumb at Bakugou and enunciates slowly, “This is Bakugou. He can speak sign language too.”

Wait. Sign language?

The stranger— well, Izuku— looks at him with a raised brow. Their free hand lifts up as they make a slight motion of the hand.‘

Really?’

Bored out of his mind at a house party one night Bakugou is introduced to Izuku, a deaf student who offers to help teach Bakugou sign language in exchange for a favour-- or well, is prompted into asking for a favour.

Ah, I really want to explain this one a little bit? I’d never been into fanfiction ever, only really getting into it with these boys. This was the second one I read, I remember, and it caught me off guard, and it intrigued me. It really surprised me as to what fanfiction could be. Ngl I had biased perceptions of fanfics - I used to be one of those people who thought fanfiction could never be good writing - and this one slapped me in the face with it’s subtle beauty and creative story and heart melting capabilities, and very, very real relationship and growth. Anyways it’s so cute how happy Deku is to teach Kacchan sign language TT_TT Make sure to read the tags!

The Keeper and the Sun God’s Heir - SurelyHeavenWaits (12746 words)

Summary: The Titans' have stolen something important from Izuku, heir of the Sun God, and he wants it back.

This one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one this one- Oh my god this one. Okay so what, I was a Percy Jackson kid, what about it? I love the mythical aus, particularly the god ones. But beyond that, the writing is so beautiful, just like the world, and the imagery. The bakudeku...absolutely stunning. The story itself? Incredible. Cannot recommend more. *There is explicit content in this, though I will say, it’s all in the last chapter, and all of the story is in the first two chapters. There’s also a second part as it’s a series and it’s short but it’s cute and sweet TT_TT

seven days - aaAAAaaahhhhHHHHH (10094 words)

Summary: There’s something about the green haired boy, an aura that just drew Katsuki in before he even knew his name.

[Sometimes your mind forgets, but your heart remembers]

Heed my warning: DON’T read this in front of other people. I bawl every time I read this one TT_TT I know I said I don’t like angst but AJLSKDFJALSKDFJ it has a hopeful ending! I mean yeah you’re gonna cry but...hope? :’) (that username really says it all tbh)

Fics 30k+

Notice me, nerd - useless_donut (40000 words)

Summary: Bakugou is in love with Midoriya. He doesn’t hide it, in fact it’s so painfully obvious that the entire class of 3-A has him figured out in a matter of months (days, in some cases). Too bad Midoriya is the most oblivious motherfucker out there, and Bakugou is too damn stubborn to actually ask him out.

Will the class of 3-A survive the sexual tension? Who will snap first? Someone put Bakugou out of his misery, please, before everyone else dies of second-hand embarrassment.

(a love story as witnessed by the class of 3-A)

Love the idea of Bakugou being brazen and brash, cause yeah, he is. So fucking funny though how that translates to him flirting. Gotta say, thought I was gonna cringe, but his “I’m gay af” outfit really ended up being A Look. Love the mutual pining, it really is strong in this one. *Okay, mature content in this one lads.

While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71197 words)

Summary: The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

Update: Epilogue added

*This one has mature content. If you can, please, for the love of god, read this fic. It’s like, tied with my favorite bkdk fic perhaps ever. It’s based on the movie of the same title, a nineties romcom with Sandra Bullock, but Belkacaramelka has so effortlessly made it into it’s own story, fit it so perfectly inside of the bnha world. I definitely stayed up until 6:30am reading this one. It’s got such good badass Midoriya, who is also sweet, and really really good reconciliation between bakudeku.

All Gifted - fitzefitcher (39129 words)

Summary: The thing about gifts is that they're meant to be given, they're meant to be shared; so Izuku will take his gifts, so freely given to him, and share them with all he holds dear.

Izuku is born without any gifts, as his kind often are, to a witch mother and salamander father, on one sweltering night in July.

This one is unfinished...and I highly doubt it will ever be. But what has been written is incredible. Once again, I’m a sucker for the magic/mythical creatures aus. But the relationship is great! The characterization is great! The found family trope that was building up is great!

under a hollow sun - umbrage (40572 words)

Summary: Midoriya is cursed with emptiness.

Misfortune leads him to a man of ancient magic and endless rage.

To stop an unfathomable evil, their mismatched halves must become whole.

Uuuggghhhh this was so good! I don’t think it’s going to be finished either :( Once again, fantasy au, more amazing writing, on point characterization, incredible pacing, makes you hungry for more story.

all the savage soul requires - majjale (58032 words)

Summary: Bakugou seems to have exhausted his patience for words and no longer acknowledges that Midoriya exists, so Midoriya crosses his legs, stares down at his hands limned in firelight, and makes a list of things he knows.

One. His name is Midoriya Izuku.

Two. He is a Godmarked, future god of life, heir to the divine throne.

Three. The gods have been fighting Death for eons, and now he's coming for recompense with everything he’s got.

This is majjale, so of course, the writing is more than beautiful; it’s absolutely breathtaking. This may be my favorite fic ever - unfortunately I don’t think it will ever be finished either TT_TT There’s the gods/fantasy au, which you know by now I love. But the characterization of our two boys is absolutely perfect, and I mean that as literally as possible. And the story being crafted between the two, the memory loss, the obvious history muddled by it all, it was so dense, and the PINING, so incredibly written, flowing so naturally. It wasn’t even close to being done, but it was wonderful, still is wonderful.

My Writing: (You can skip this if you hate shameless self promotion)

You’re too damn flicking cute (1815 words)

Summary: Bakugou is certain his shitty boyfriend is instigating kisses. Maybe it doesn't help that he keeps giving them away like it's a damn going out of business sale, but the stupid nerd is too fucking cute. Either way, like everything else, this is a competition, and he's going to win it.

Please don’t read this unless you’re going to the dentist afterwards! I’ve been told it’s so sweet it’ll give you instant cavities >_>;;;;

Bakugou Katsuki, you smooth motherfucker (10118 words)

Summary: Everyone around him knows that Bakugou Katsuki has a very special way with words. To the untrained ear he is loud and crass; to those that speak Kacchan, he is caring and inspiring. Yet there are rare moments, moments so fleeting you blink and you miss them, where Bakugou’s words pierce straight through Midoriya’s chest, and surprise everyone around him.

Goddammit, if only he would say them to Midoriya’s face.

Or, the five times Bakugou said something nice about Midoriya, and the one time he said something kind to him (but that was too long of a title).

I think most would consider this my best published fic; it’s one of those snapshot fics, “the five times where x did this, and the one time where they didn’t.” The recurring comment I get on this one is both of them being super in character, so I think that’s it’s defining characteristic! Bakugou and Midoriya have never known a life without the other, and in a perfect world, they never will.

Here, let me fix that (11247 words)

Summary: Bakugou honestly never thought he’d see Deku ever again. And now that they were together in this tiny compartment, alone for the next two and a half minutes, he had no clue what to say. He’d just apologized, right? So perhaps he could leave it at that and carry on with the original plan to never see the green-haired man that reminded him of dense forests, late night adventures, and tear-stained faces, ever again.

Ha! Who is he kidding? These bitches are soulmates.

I’ve gotten some critiques on this one, so sorry in advance if it’s not to your liking! Basically, what if Midoriya never got his quirk? Obviously, life would find a way to put them together because, as previously stated, these bitches are soulmates.

Plenty of Time (16654 words)

Summary: Bakugou found what little sleep he got restless and filled with nightmares that he forgot the second he opened his eyes. Tonight was the first time in a long time where he just had a normal dream - and it happened to be about Deku.

How fucking typical.

In other words, two dorks realize they have feelings for each other but don't know what to do about said feelings.

Ah, my first fic. Very simple, boys being boys, kinda like a slow burn? Idk how to explain this one, just boys figuring out their feelings and trying to figure out what to do about them. Been told these two are a little stupid but I think that’s valid.

We’re all time bombs waiting to explode (39223 words)

Summary: We have now entered the slipstream of time, into an alternate dimension where it neither is, nor isn’t, the 80’s. Two teenagers, burdened with the weight of adolescence in the modern world, find themselves struggling side by side, in part because of each other.

Bakugou, the most popular boy in school, has everything he could possibly want; status, power, and an unbreakable will. Having been dragged along behind him all the way to the top, Midoriya can’t help but wonder how (and why) he ended up standing beside his childhood friend-turned bully-turned friend again, weighed down by their complicated past and present. As the tension between them grows every day, and the arrival of a new, pretty face causes it to peak, it won’t be long before something - or someone - snaps.

I am...very bad at titles, and summaries apparently. This was my Heathers au, but it very quickly diverges from the original (I don’t do sad endings....) *This one has mature content, including implied sexual activity, drug use, and underage drinking, along with other heavy topics; please read the tags! Though tbh Midoriya is 17 for a couple weeks before it hits his birthday halfway through, so keep that in mind I guess? I kind of went heavy with this one, but I think the pay off was immense. This is the one with the most amount of comments stating it’s their favorite bkdk fic ever (and I cry). It’s a rough start, with a rough journey, but so is bakudeku! There’s a lot of petty drama, and then all of a sudden it’s Not That Petty and very much Far Too Real. Many have cried reading the ending, I cried writing it. My sister says it’s her favorite of mine. Now, I did kind of push this out without polishing it so much because I was losing my willpower, so if it feels lacking, that’s one hundred percent my fault.

Okay that was a lot! It took me a couple days...I hope I wasn’t too annoying with all my opinions! Please have a nice day. and enjoy some good reads, even if they aren’t the ones in this post!

#bakudeku #katsudeku #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #bnha #bkdk #fics #my writing #god i really hope i didn't fuck up any of this #i spent a long time on it alksdjflaskjdflkasdjf #this is 39 fics without my own #and 44 including mine #i can tell i've forgotten some but #idk it's hard TT_TT #anyways it's 2:30am #if i go to bed at 4am one more time i'm gonna throw myself down a flight of stairs #i hope this is good enough as is!#most of this was written very late so I hope it doesn't sound...crazed

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ye-bloodeh-liar · 3 years

Text

I just finished AC Valhalla – A résumé.

I finished the "main story" of Assassin's Creed Valhalla. These are some thoughts of mine. (This was saved in my drafts for two weeks or so. But my stance hasn't altered. Actually, I'm even angrier now.)

Disclaimer: This obviously contains some spoilers here and there. You've been warned, but tbh, who even cares about the story at this point. Also, I know I don't have many followers, and I suspect none of the few that will come across this post will actually be interested in it. That said, if you like reading people's rants about things, regardless of your interest in video games, this might be something for you. I just needed to get this out of my system somewhere. This is a rant (well, vent? I'm venting, I guess) written as it came to my mind. There's no real structure, I think. Sorry for that in advance.

After Origins, which I thoroughly enjoyed and actually played again between Odyssey and Valhalla, and Odyssey, which's name was perfectly fitting since it felt like a fucking odyssey to grind through, I hoped, actually, I was convinced, Valhalla would right Odyssey's wrongs. You see, Odyssey had one big problem for me: It did none of the things that made and still make me love Origins. In short: The world was massive, but felt copied and pasted, uninteresting to explore and lifeless. Basically, it was a lot of green sprinkled with some olive branches. A lot of the times the only way to know roughly where I am was pulling up the map because based on my surroundings, I could've been anywhere. Compared to the intriguing world of Origins, where you always knew in which area of the map you currently were, this was a shitshow. I mean, just walking through the desert in Origins had more atmosphere than the whole city of Athens (the main fucking city) could ever muster up. (Oh, remember the times of AC Brotherhood, where Rome actually felt like a city even though it wasn't actually humongous like the new games are? Or how atmospheric the whole of AC II was? I mean, Venice? Hello? M a s t e r p i e c e) But I can overlook that. The combat didn't feel heavy, or to put it better, "impactful" like it did in Origins, but more like poking the enemies to their deaths with something that made sword-y sounds. But I can overlook that. The loot system improved a bit, in the sense of giving the option to modify your loot and being able to combine different armor pieces, however, Origins outfit-system was more up my alley. But I can overlook that. Funnily enough, compared to its predecessor, Odyssey looked worse. In Origins the fabric of your outfit look like actual fabric and, I can't stress this enough, waved in the wind. In Odyssey everything felt more static and somehow "fake". But I can overlook that. To me, Origins' story was masterfully done. Personally, I'd say, that this is the closest we've ever gotten to the Ezio-Trilogy. The voice acting was top notch. Bayek was a great character, and the side characters like Aya/Amunet were equally intriguing. I still remember the first time I saw the first confession cutscene after killing Medunamun. It gave me shivers and goosebumps and got me excited for what was about to come. What I want to say with this, is that Origins made me care; care about its characters, care about their backstory and motives, care about the world, etc. After I had finished the DLC The Hidden Ones I felt like I had actually witnessed the igniting spark of something epic, namely the Assassin Brotherhood, in such a chilling way, even though they basically were just chillin' in a cave. Because that's what character building gives you: payoffs. Well, Odyssey did none of that. All it did made me care about was to get all the loot, because that's what my mind always goes for in any game (I'm that kind of stupid ape). I didn't care about what would happen in the end – I just wanted to get there. I wanted to know how the story would end, but in whichever way it would, I knew I wouldn't care for it in the sense of being disappointed or yearning for a different outcome for the character I was so invested in, because, as I said, nothing got me invested in the character(s) in the first place. That's what bugged me the most about Odyssey. Not the flimsy feeling combat, not the husk of a world I found myself in, not the downgrade in design and animation, etc., but the lack of care it invoked.

Now, when Valhalla was originally announced, I was excited as I could be for a video game. Ubisoft was clearly aware of their mistakes with Odyssey and tried to show that they're willing to listen to their fanbase. A world where every area has its own identity? Sounds great. Heavy combat? Hell yeah. Gear and loot that actually matters and is special (unlike in Odyssey where after a few hours of playing you find yourself carrying the same fucking bow 25 times)? Oh my. Choices not for the sake of choices, but story? Yes please. I mean, if you have to implement choices. Even though choices don't really make sense in Assassin's Creed, but that's another topic.

Well, did it deliver (for me)? No. And to be completely honest, I prefer Odyssey, even as the grindfest that it is, over Valhalla, and me replaying Odyssey seems a lot more likely to me, than going through all of Valhalla again. I'm not going to list all of the points mentioned above again in full detail: The world is a bit more intriguing than Greece, but a shadow of what Egypt was. The combat feels heavy, yet every weapon looks too big (????) and it still feels a bit off. My biggest grudge of the minor points is actually the look/the graphics: How on earth does Valhalla manage to look less real than Origins? The fur and pelts on the armor, every piece of cloth, i mean just e v e r y t h i n g looks somewhat plasticy (at loss for a better word here; just compare Origins' outfits in motion to Valhalla's) Anyway, let's get to the real problem here, because all boils down to the point I've mentioned before: Invoking care.

This became very apparent to me after forging the fourth (?; was it the fourth? They all blur together. That's how e n t i c i n g they are. Great.) alliance or so. I didn't give a single fuck about the characters in those arcs. It was very clear that they'd be soon replaced by other characters in the next alliance's arc, which I probably wouldn't care for either, especially, since they all felt somewhat the same: empty. Alliances felt like checklists to do. Even Wincestre, which had an interesting beginning, somehow managed to loose all of its "darkness" after the first two quests. But I could overlook the dreary sidequest-like alliance arcs, if they served the main storyline in some way or form. Now you might ask, what main storyline? E x a c t l y. Looking back, there is none. At least not really. And there where a lot of times playing the game where I found myself wondering, if this alliance-arc-thing I was currently dragging myself through was in fact meant to be the actual story. But it shouldn't be. Was it? I have no fucking clue. My conclusion on what Valhalla's main overarching story is, is what follows:

Eivor's parents got killed when he was a child (never seen before lol), got adopted, and is now part of the Raven clan with his "brother" Sigurd//Sigurd comes home from some raid with the Assassins Basim and Hytham//(Eivor gets the Hidden Blade; I mean, this is an Assassin's Creed game. Big moment. Done in 2 seconds.)//Sigurd and Eivor aren't happy with the new King of Norway.//Sigurd and Eivor fuck off to England (with Basim and Hytham) to set camp there.//Eivor starts to forge alliances throughout England to make his clan's hold on England stronger.// Sigurd and Basim do their own thing.//Eivor meets Sigurd and Basim two or three times throughout his alliance forging.//Basim seems a bit off.//Sigurd says that he was told (by Basim?) that he is a descendant of the gods.// Sigurd wants to "pursue his destiny"// (sidenote: the last few things are all within one (!) short cutscene in a small house. d e v e l o p m e n t.)//Sigurd gets captured and tortured and loses his hand.//Eivor rescues Sigurd.// Sigurd is back in the settlement.//Sigurd distrusts Eivor because Eivor doesn't believe Sigurd and Sigurd thinks Eivor wants to take his title as the jarl (jarls are the bosses of settlements).// And then the end sequence hits. This is where I want to go into somewhat detail again. We go from Sigurd distrusts Eivor to "Eivor, I don't wanna be the boss of the town, so I don't hold a grudge anymore, let's go back to Norway and I'll show you I was right all along" like it's nothing. It's literally just that: You walk up to Sigurd, he says this (more or less) and you sail away. Again: development is taken very seriously in this game. Honestly, at this point I didn't even know that this was going to trigger the ending. My genuine thoughts were "Oh my, finally, after all this grinding, the story is going to start." when in reality of course, ironically, it was going to end. Absolute belter. So you sail to Norway with Sigurd, which takes fucking forever, because OF COURSE you have to sail (for everyone who didn't play the game, yes, sail, that means looking at a viking longship while occasionally moving the stick slightly to change its directions slightly) to your original settlement in Norway, for what feels like far too long, only to say Hi to your dad. Fucking lost it. I thought we were going to assassinate the King? Nah bruv let's just have some quick family talk instead. Some action? Nah. Just get back to the longship. A N D S T A R T S A I L I N G A G A I N. Where? Just around the curve of our settlement in Norway. Yes, they pulled the old trick of the ending is literally just right around the corner of your starting position hehe. Absolute belter. Is this to make it seem like something is about to happen? The calm before the storm? It doesn't work like that. Well, then you actually sail through a storm (lol), which doesn't matter, because Sigurd just says "Let's keep going" and, well, you keep going. Also, to this point the weather conditions have never affected neither Eivors health, nor the ship in any way whatsoever, so why should I be impacted by a storm now? Like, it's a nice thing for atmosphere, but at least make the ship harder to steer or something. Then you walk up a mountain. Funnily enough Sigurd walks in manner that shows that the walk against the storm isn't easy, whereas you, hah, you can just yeet yourself up that mountain like nothing. I could sprint up there. Fucking sprint. Anyway, Eivor and Sigurd enter the Isu temple, because of course, we had to throw an Isu temple in there, I mean, i t ' s A s s a s s i n ' s C r e e d. Was it hinted at before in the story? Not really. Were we chasing or searchig for it? Nah, better get that next alliance going. It just suddenly was. Again: development. So we walk to the main platform of the temple and activate the machine and bam we're in Valhalla (because at some point Ubisoft realised that maybe they should include what is literally in the name of the game). Again, were we looking for Valhalla? Like not in the sense that every viking was, but more in the sense

of was it the main objective of the game? Did Eivor look for a way to Valhalla? Was there anything that led us here other than Sigurd having had a few dreams (that only got mentioned, like, twice?) and being influenced into thinking he was a demigod or something? Nope, Eivor was looking for that next alliance to forge. So, Eivor realises that his experience of Valhalla is fake and he wants to get out. But fake-Odin doesn't want to let him go. In a really weird cutscene (jump to 6:30), Eivor eventually escapes Odin and enters a door with his settlement-family (look, I'm all here for metaphors, but this, this is just utter rubbish. It just doesn't make sense, and there is no payoff whatsoever). Odin actually had a build-up of some sort. In every assassination sequence he's there and talks with Eivor. I actually thought there would be some cool payoff/ending/reveal here. But nah, this ain't it chief. Yet somehow, until here, I had hope. I thought maybe now, building on all this confusion, there's gonna be a relatively good ending. Something enticing. Something that made everything somewhat worthwile. And Ubisoft went: Lol nah. So, you're out of the Isu machine again (for all the non-AC-peoples here: basically like the matrix. Eivor gets hooked up to the machine and experiences alternate reality: Valhalla), and Basim is there. What a twist. The guy that showed up like three times and went from friendly in the first time to super suspicious (like glaring-in-your-face-suspicious) in the two-or-so other major cutscenes he was in, has now been revealed as the enemy. Congrats to that. What a twist. The thing is, and this bothers me a lot actually, it could have been anyone there. It didn't need to be Basim. It wouldn't have felt out of place if it wasn't him. Why? Because Ubisoft failed terribly at making you connect to any character and at building any actual story (or character). It could have been Gunnar, the friendly black-smith in our settlement, and it would have been as fitting as Basim. Then Basim says that this is "for his son". Ah yes, the lost son of Basim, which was mentioned once. Right. Eivor defeats Basim by hooking him up on the Isu machine and gets back to the settlement with Sigurd (in my ending at least. There seems to be a possible ending in which Sigurd doesn't come back.) Cut to the modern day, where Layla now knows the coordinates of the Isu temple, goes there, hooks herself up to the machine, becomes the overseer of time with the other overseer of time which already was hanging out there (I mean yeah, great idea, terrible execution. Build it up, then you can have a payoff. This was just straight outta nowhere, and who cared about Layla anyway.) Anyway, meanwhile Basim, who was still hanging on that machine a fuck ton of years later, pops off, and is now living in the modern day. The idea here is, that we lost the hero (Layla) which caused the (just established) vilain (Basim) to do his fuckery in the modern day. But why should I care? Basim was basically nonexistent in the basically nonexistent story and suddendly I should feel sad or shocked, because he's in the modern day? Is this supposed to be intriguing? And yeah, Layla is "gone". Layla, who had no character building over three fucking games. Why should i be bothered? Why should I care about anything that just happened? Remember when a side character (Lucy) died in AC Brotherhood? That was intriguing. Why? Because they built her as a character we (Desmond) trusted, even though it was in the modern day (which no one really cares about in AC). And this is why Valhalla broke me and Odyssey didn't. Valhalla failed to make me care on a much deeper level. It's just a lot of nothingness. Empty characters in a nonexistent story. And by nonexistent, I mean non-built at all. When I play the game now, I have no actual reason, and throughout the game never actually had any actual reason, to continue. It was a chore. I didn't bother if after three hours of grind I would eventually get a mini-snippet of a husk of a story, and neither do I care now. Everything in

this game is so devoid of sparking curiosity and screams of lacklusterness to the point where I don't even know what I have actually expierenced. For fuck's sake Ubisoft, make me care again. At least once in 40 hours.

May I sum up Valhalla's "story" and content in the glorious words of Catherine Tate: Am I bovvered? The answer, sadly, is a holistic no.

#assassins creed #ac valhalla #sorry for the rant #this is my longest post yet #am i bovvered #sidenote: this is actually the first time that i'm genuinely pissed at ubisoft #i wasn't even this mad with odyssey #and that thing got a lot of hate #maybe i'm gonna delete this again

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retvenkos · 3 years

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not asking you who you'd ship me with in the grishaverse because at this point everyone on tumblr knows the answer to that probably (though any chance of getting more of your wonderfully divine headcanons about matthias & I is a chance I gleefully take), but since you are shipping everyone I have to tell you that I've been thinking about Mal & you together for a little while. I just see it so clearly??

I think you'd have a relationship quite like Alina and Mal's, except healthier and less dramatic lol. but Mal is the epitome of friends to lovers and to me you embody exactly that. you're not the unbridled fury that enemies to lovers can be nor the bittersweet inevitability of soulmates, but really this idea of familiarity and comfort that you only unlock after spending a lot of time with a person, probably in childhood. Mal would represent exactly that to you: home, family, and love, and you're not really sure how or when you realize that it's not the same love you used to feel at Keramzin, that your feelings have shifted in the most terrifying yet beautiful way, but they have.

so in this scenario if you are Grisha, you get tested and your powers found out and you get sent to the Little Palace and your goodbyes with Mal are probably the most tearful moment Ravka has ever seen. You're holding on to Mal for dear life because he's really your family and you don't want to leave him behind, they're taking you to an unknown place without him, and you're so scared - but Mal tries to hold it all together because he has to be strong for you, and promises he will write to you every day and you will never truly be separated because he'll find you when he's older and strong.

(as soon as the carriage leaves he locks himself in the dormitory and cries all evening on his bed because your absence is so loud in these silent halls)

Inevitably years pass as you continue your training and Mal's letters become more scarce - sometimes you're the one who forgets to reply for a whole month, sometimes it's him - until you're not in touch anymore but you don't forget him, you never do, and you dream of him so often and all the words you wish you could tell him but never got the courage to

Until one day, almost a decade later, he is received at the Grand Palace for a particularly triumphant feat of his (Mal, always the hero) and the King wants to meet the First army soldier everyone is talking about, and you happen to run into him as he's trying to find his way to the audience room (because how stupidly huge are these Os Alta palaces, really?) And you literally can't believe your eyes.

so you'd be getting the childhood friends to lovers reunited after losing contact for many years which is TOP TIER romance

and Mal has changed obviously but not so much, and so have you; and he's taken aback by your beauty in your purple Kefta, and suddenly all the petty and insulting stereotypes about the Second Army he used to joke about with his regiment friends leave his mind because Saints - who needs a Sun Summoner when you're glowing like all the stars in the sky?

you'd quickly fall back into your common habits because they never left you, they're second nature at this point - Mal has basically forged your personality from the youngest age and you have his, and you fit together so perfectly

he'd be assigned to a more permanent post in Os Alta thanks to his prowesses in battle, maybe as the King's personal guard, meaning you'd get to spend so much time together

People would raise eyebrows at the sight of a couple between the two rival armies, but you don't care one bit - your love for Mal runs in your blood much deeper than arbitrary oppositions based on foolish pride.

If you're not Grisha, I don't think you'd join the First Army; war is probably not for you. I think your paths would separate too when he joins the Army and you leave the orphanage with what little money you saved over the years (sneaking out of Keramzin and reciting or singing your poems on the streets for a little bit of coin, or selling the meat and fur Mal would hunt for you) to move to a bigger city and try to do something with your life. You could be an artisan, or another kind of shopkeep! I can see you being manually gifted and creative, so you'd probably have an artsy business in the capital, like pottery or tapestry or painting on porcelain or something of the sort

and once again Mal is called to Os Alta probably for the same reasons - he just can't help distinguishing himself in combat, can he? - and he steps into your shop by total chance, and he's like. Olive???? Since when do you do sculptures???? And you're like. Malyen Oretsev???? Since when are you taller than me????

(Though the sculpture part doesn't surprise him that much, because you were always so creative and gifted in the arts, and he's always admired you so much for it.)

(But the TALL part??? ok, you are short, but you left him when he was like, thirteen and he was Not That Tall. how can your forever friend have grown that tall so fast???)

And so you ALSO get the long-lost childhood friends rekindle and fall back in love trope because my heart goes mushy for it ❤

your dynamic would be on point, because Mal knows you better than anyone and so he can read you like an open book. Either when he needs to find the teasing comment that will get you all riled up, or when he senses your discomfort or sadness and has to find the words to cheer you up.

You'd just make so many sweet memories with Mal, and he'd be down for every single thing you want to do as long as he gets to spend time with you. Want to be rambunctious on the streets of Os Alta and pull pranks on passerbys like you are 8 again? Yep, can totally do that. Feel like breathing in the fresh air of the wilderness and getting out of town to see a beautiful sunset, like you would in Keramzin? Of course! Just want to chill together doing your own thing and relishing in each other's presence? Absolutely.

he loves when you read to him, whether that be a book you own or a story straight from your imagination that you just wrote, and he's absolutely mesmerized by your voice and how much emotion you put in it. (though he can't help himself from making little jokes every now and then or trying to guess what will happen next in the story because he's what my mom calls a Culo Inquieto™)

you'd generally be such a cute couple who never lost that mischievous but oh so comforting and familiar spark from when you were kids, and is willing to stay with the other through thick and thin. you've found your other half in each other and I'm so soft for that. 💜💜

sorry I rambled but I just think that idea is so cute and you deserve a ship! (also, don't even get me started on the Chaos BFF Duo you would make with Jesper...) my head is killing me so I won't write any more but just know I hold this ship in extremely high regard. <3

clara, i will have you know i waited until i got ice cream in order to read this, because i knew it would be an experience™ and now, i,,, 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i'm so goddamn soft, how dare you make me yearn????

you mean to tell me you came up with all of this... for me? you think of ships for me??? how—how dare? how dare you be such a good friend, to the point where i am baffled by your kindness??? how dare you be this thoughtful and poetic,,,,,,, and just, big brained, ma'am.

because all of this is so perfect!!!! ohmygod i'm soft. i'm in love. everytime you write a ship or fanfic, i sincerely wish i was a romantic like you so i could have a proclivity toward fathoming such soft romantic scenes,,,,, you, clara, know how to do a ship™.

(also, i have to say i love the childhood friends torn apart, only to come back together,,,, it has laughter lines by bastille energy,,,, listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have the same vibes that that very specific and heartwarming trope,,,)

but, since you gave me such a beautiful gift, and since i would do anything for you, here are some more headcanons for you and matthias:

first of all, i think that you and matthias would spend a lot of time finding the beauty in small things. i think that it would be good for him, since he’s reevaluating who he is and his place in this grand world, and i think since you’re a romantic, small things would be important to you both.

— for example, you guys definitely star gaze together. it’s hard, since you are in ketterdam and the smoke is impossible to see through, but maybe you guys leave ketterdam for a while, and you spend a lot of time looking up at the stars. matthias loves to learn about everything you know, and repositioning himself underneath the sky is a good start to figuring out who he is.

— you also like to sit by the water and talk. there’s something about the water that pulls memories from you both. matthias talks about what it was like, far away, in his little village before the drüskelle. (i get the feeling his dad was a fisherman or something,,,, the vibes are there), and you get to talk about people you once knew, dreams you once had. point is, you do a lot of talking - swapping stories and hopes.

— oh! another idea i can’t get out if my head is that matthias asks you so many questions. i feel like it’s a sign of real love and trust, when matthias starts asking you questions, because you have to be like,,, level 50 in order for matthias to admit weaknesses, and one of his biggest is that there’s so much he just doesn’t know. i think you also get really good at just,,,, telling him stuff so that he doesn’t have to ask, and he really just appreciates it.

i also just love the idea of matthias giving you to strongest hugs, or tbh, just holding you, and it’s all because he’s the big, strong one™! you know he’s got a protector complex, so that kind of feeds into his hugs,,, just that intense need to protect you, but also, he’s deathly terrified of losing another person he cares about, so he clings. (but only when you’re alone. the drüskelle in him is too Proud, but if you hang onto him in public,,,, he’s not complaining, just getting used to it)

okay, but i got a little bit ahead of myself, because i didn’t even talk about when you guys first meet, and the whole dynamic that is that™

— so, clearly, you are bffs with nina, whether your a grisha or not, and since i want fluff oNLY we’re just going to pretend like helnik didn’t happen,,,,,, they’re just friends. anyway, she’s the first one to pick up on your feelings for matthias because a) heartrender, and b) you two are the best of friends, and she just knows.

— and so you know a lot of teasing ensues, and almost everyone gets in on it and constantly makes jokes about you and matthias,,,, sometimes while he’s right. there. you’re Mortified But Coping™ and you can’t imagine what is going on through matthias’ head, because there’s no way he can feel the same, right?

— wRONG, we’re all idiots when we’re in love, and no one is more of an idiot than matthias. he is definitely ~soft~ for you but refuses to let it show because (1) the dregs are crass and he doesn’t want to give them fodder, and (2) you seem very uncomfortable about this whole thing, and he doesn’t want to make it worse

after some time, the teasing dies down, because both of you are too boring to tease. it would be funny if one of you freaked out, but you’re just,,,, suffering in silence. boring. and besides, inej and kaz are way more funny to tease. have you seen the murder in both of their eyes whenever you mention anything??? scary, but golden.

for the most part, the jokes die off, and i think after the jokes stop, you and matthias become much more comfortable with one another, and it leads to so! many! good! moments!

— did i ever tell you matthias is in love with your stupid humor? your enchanting laughter? you’re so infectiously light and it makes him feel like he’s walking on clouds or something,,,,, he’s enchanted by you, but doesn’t have the words to explain it.

— you know he remembers all of the little things his dad used to say about his mom,,,, and he feels all of that awed respect and soft warmth for you, but what to do with it???? he can’t really remember what his parents would do - it’s been so long and cold without them, but he tries to remember, and it’s the little things he does. he’ll tell you something really sweet in fjerdan and you’re just like ??? but it doesn’t translate super well, so you’re just left with the way he said it, and it means the world (plus, if you really get the courage, you can ask nina to explain it,,,, fair warning though, she scoffs at it every time. because it’s fjerda, alright?)

— you definitely end up reading him some poetry. it’s all under the guise of him ‘learning about the beauty in other cultures’ but really, it’s just an excuse to read him romantic shu poetry (they really know how to do it, let me tell you). and you also end up telling him stories about your childhood and your life, and he finds your rambling so adorable. especially since he has seen your work on paper! he finds it so sweet that your mind is so full of life that it wants to go everywhere at once, and experience every possible detail.

— you definitely end up showing matthias his way around ketterdam, and he keeps all of your hastily drawn maps, and whenever he goes past a street corner, he remembers the way your eyes sparkled in the light of the streetlamps.

i definitely have the feeling that you confess your feelings first. matthias has been trying to get the courage to do it, but he just can’t, and one day you tell him late at night - when, for just a moment, the world is still and quiet, and you can’t hold in all that warmth in your chest. you’re a little shy about it, but so is he, and when he hears you confess, all he can do is smile, because you have all of the confidence and strength he wishes he had. and all that courage laced in his chest, he’s learned it from you.

that’s ll i got for now, but i believe in clara x matthais supremacy.

#asks #mutuals #clara — 🌙#long post #shipped #let me just reread this ship every day for the next millenia thanks

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