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yutahoes · 1 year

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Polarity

Chapter Eleven

Masterlist

characters: mafia boss! Yuta Nakamoto x innocent! florist! reader

summary: While running away, you seemed to be moving closer to the man you were avoiding. Are you even heading to the right direction?

chapter word count: 6.8k words

chapter genre: fluff, smut

chapter warning: language, lots of kissing, MC has low self-esteem issues, mention of sexual abuse (please see past chapters), trauma, sex talks, female masturbation, horny MC, a little backstory, blood, oral-male receiving

taglist: @sourirensoleillee @kyuprincess @nuoyipeach @anonjyxd @a-bts-world @a-place-filled-with-random @smolbeanieee @yumilovesavocado @imnotsureokay @dhaly-g @spicyryujin @doodoodove @blueeyedlove-blog1 @kosmoreads @joepomonerof @calipsou @yutadae @juungvely @hangyeomcult @cherrphoenix @itsyntt @winterwritesblog @yutazen27 @ytzvivi @brightestmark @yujaesstuff @johnbanana @fullsunncit @loverofnct @127lvr4 @scuzmunkie

You were tired.

Your body ached and you don’t know why. Is it because of what you and Yuta did last night? Wait, you didn’t do anything. You were just lying in bed while he does all the action. So why are you so tired?

Yet your body felt very tired.

Maybe because you didn’t have the right sleep last night. You thought you’ll sleep soundly in Yuta’s arms but the words he said before you drift off to sleep only made you awake.

“I love you, Y/N.”

The L word. The words you never dreamed he’ll say to you.

Your stomach felt warm as he hugged you from the back, his hand slipping on your waist. You quickly closed your eyes, pretending to sleep. “You’re not a dream,” He released a relieved sigh before kissing the back of your head. “You’re really here with me.” Is he talking to himself? Or talking to you? Does he know that you’re awake? “I wish every day would be like this.”

This feels so surreal. He’s a handsome man, a man who holds the power. He’s everything you wish for in a person and someone that you can’t resist. It’s no wonder that you fell for him. But why would this overly-attractive man fall for you? Is there a moment, an encounter with Yuta, that would make him fall for you?

This is a fairytale. A dream.

And you need to wake up from this dream.

You opened your eyes but the warmth of his touch still lingers on your skin. Even if you look at it in any way, he’s real. He’s not a dream.

You turned around to face him, moaning sleepily. He giggled before landing a soft peck on your lips. “Good morning,” Yuta greeted with a smile. “Did you have a nice sleep?” Is he teasing you? When you have a sleepless night like this all because of him? You nodded and he kissed you once again, earning a giggle from you. Will every day be like this?

He leaned in to kiss you, your hands threading on his hair. When you let go of the kiss, you smiled. “Why did you dye your hair blonde?” You didn’t even know why you asked that question that early morning but it’s bugging you. He looks different with blonde hair. “You look better in dark-colored hair.”

Yuta took a strand of his hair, looking at it. “Because Johnny said you don’t like guys in black hair.” You blinked in surprise. He remembered that? He changed his hair because of that? “I thought that was the reason why you never notice me.”

“What?” You asked, not believing what you were hearing. Is it this early that your ears are picking up weird statements from him?

“You always talk to Jaehyun and Mark first. You call them by their name, you call them when you’re in trouble.” You could feel your heart squeezing in your chest. Is this the mafia boss’ version of jealousy? Why is Yuta so adorable like this? “Then your tall childhood friend came and I felt threatened, I might really lose you.”

Could you survive every day like this? With all the heart-wrenching confessions and sweet words? And this early in the morning? Yuta might give you a heart attack.

Then it occurred to you. The consequences of what you both did last night. You just ran away with him. You didn’t tell Johnny anything, didn’t even inform Sophie. Your eyes widened in surprise. Sophie. “Oh no, Sophie is going to kill me.” You exclaimed, sitting up on the bed and frantically looking around. You didn’t bring anything. You left your purse in Johnny’s car. “Shit, I have to…”

“I already called Sophie,” You stopped and stared at him. “I also informed Johnny that we’re together.” How? He has Sophie and Johnny’s number? Yet you don’t have any contact with Yuta. Why is he getting jealous when you call Mark or Jaehyun when you’re in trouble when you don’t know how to contact him? “I think it’s Johnny’s flight to Chicago today. I’ll drive you to the airport.”

“You don’t have to,” Then realized that you literally have nothing. You can’t even go home in your dress and soiled underwear. Why is your life this pathetic? “I think I’ll go home first.”

Yuta sat up and you were now facing each other, he held your cheeks while smiling warmly at you. “I’ll get you a change of clothes then drive you to the airport.” He doesn’t have to do that. “Don’t leave just yet. I want to spend some more time with you.”

If this is the mafia boss’ way of being clingy then your heart might really not make it.

—-

You were astonished once again when the man from last night parked the car in front of a posh-looking boutique with a huge marquee of its name. A name you only heard from the hostesses in the nightclub. You remembered liking a lilac dress that Aeri wore and she mentioned that it was from this shop, a gift by her patron since she cannot buy anything from here.

The ladies and men in uniform bowed when Yuta came inside, holding your hand. From the interior itself, you can easily claim that this is an expensive thing. Is Yuta really that filthy rich? “Just get anything you want,” Yuta claimed then kissed the back of your palm. You nodded just as a lady in uniform introduced herself as your personal shopper. “I’ll just check something upstairs.”

You were just standing there, in your braless off-shoulder dress and Yuta’s coat from last night. You didn’t bother wearing the soiled underwear and you wanted to change immediately. “Do you have any preferences, madam?” The woman asked that startled you. Madam? “I’m sorry, do you want me to call you Lady Nakamoto?” A gasp escaped your lips.

You shook your head. You didn’t have to smile that wide just because of that name. “You can call me Y/N.”

“I’m sorry but some of the mafia boss’ wives don’t want to be called by their names…” Again Y/N, you don’t have to be that happy. You’re not even Yuta’s wife. Not even his girlfriend. He just said he loves you but there’s no label in this relationship. What are you, even? “I’m sorry.”

You waved your hand, shaking your head. She doesn’t need to apologize that much. “I think I need to change into comfortable underwear first.” She smiled then nodded. Obviously, she had tended to other customers who had the same problem as yours since she doesn’t seem fazed by it.

The dresses on display were so pretty but it was too much. You can’t imagine wearing something like this every day. It is well-fit for parties and social gatherings. You’re more comfortable wearing jeans but since they only have skirts, you settled on one that reaches your knee. You also picked a white sweatshirt from their last season’s collection since it’s cheaper. The woman guided you in the hallway and into a series of doors where you can change but your feet didn’t move.

The last time you were inside the dressing room something bad happened to you. If not for Yuta, you might have been sexually abused at that time. The thought of coming inside a dressing room made you scared. What if a person is inside one of the rooms? “Miss Y/N,” the woman in uniform called and you only nodded. “Are you alright?” You tried to nod but your hand was shaking while holding the door handle.

It must have been a long time since you were standing in front of the door since Yuta can already be seen walking in the hallways towards you. He changed his black dress shirt to a ragged white sweater. It was the first time seeing Yuta in light-colored clothes and he looks like an angel. Shining so bright. “Hey,” he greeted. “Is there something wrong?”

This is such a small thing so why is it such a big deal for you? Mark finished that man off. You heard the gunshot. You shouldn’t be scared. But the vivid image of the man’s wicked smile while removing the buttons of your blouse doesn’t leave your mind. “Can you come with me inside?” You asked in a soft voice, embarrassed so you just focused on the ground.

Without any word, he took the clothes you chose from the woman in uniform and opened the door for you. His smile was mischievous at first when he placed the clothes on the small table inside which changed into a frown at your lack of action. “Y/N, are you alright?” You breathed heavily before nodding, taking a step inside the small room with a wall-length mirror on one side. Yuta noticed it and then walked in front of you, “Get changed. I’ll guard the door.”

You were facing the mirror as you removed the dress from your body. You can easily see Yuta facing the door, avoiding to turn to your way. “Last night…” He started that made you stop wearing the knee-length denim skirt. “Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No, you didn’t.” Maybe you were too blinded by pleasure and his gentle touches. Or it was probably your intense yearning for Yuta. From the reflection, you saw him exhale as if relieved. “I’m sorry.” You whispered after putting on the sweatshirt you took.

Yuta took a quick glance then smiled reassuringly after seeing that you’re all changed. He shook his head, “I’m sorry. I think I was forcing myself on you too much, making you uncomfortable.” But you aren’t anything near uncomfortable with him. You weren’t even awkward with him even if he already saw you naked. “If ever I made you uncomfortable in any way, don’t be scared to tell me.” You nodded which made him smile once again.

It was such an intense feeling. A foreign feeling growing inside you. You feel calm. At peace. A calmness that you wanted to stay with you forever. Maybe this is the chance to assess what your relationship is. “Give me your hand,” He claimed and you followed him, stretching your hand to his palm up. He placed a phone on your palm, “I’m the only one who knows this number.” He’s giving it to you? Then he placed the same gold card on top of the phone, “This is the key to the penthouse.”

“Why are you giving these to me?”

He held your free hand, the other hand rubbing your cheek with his thumb. “I want you to call me whatever happens. If you need anything, you know where to find me.” The cogs in your brains started whirring. This is too much. Isn’t Yuta trusting you too much? “Just tell me whatever you want and I’ll give it to you. Just don’t give up on me.”

Yuta must have been hurt a lot. You don’t have any idea what happened to his parents but the death of his brother is tragic enough. Even Kyoko, who chose another man over him, is heartbreaking. And just like you, he might have needed the reassurance he needs. “I love you, Yuta."

He held your waist, placing his forehead on yours. “God,” he called which made you giggle. Why is he suddenly calling for the divine being? “How can I get so lucky to be loved by you?” His words made you swoon. A man with a high status such as him acting like a lovesick person for someone like you is beyond what your mind could conjure up. “You are so beautiful.” You are definitely living in a fairytale.

“And I’m glad I’m the first person to see you like this,” Yuta whispered. You only raised an eyebrow at that. “An upper hand from Johnny Seo.”

Another giggling fit escaped your lips, “You do have an upper hand.” You started before tiptoeing to place a quick kiss on his lips. “You are the one I love.”

—

The airport seemed too crowded and it confused you on how Yuta knew where to find Johnny. The last time you were here, you almost went to Johnny’s but Yuta stopped you. Now, the idea only made you laugh.

“I hope Sophie doesn’t get mad at you,” the taller guy claimed, handing you your purse. “I felt bad that you ditched me last night.”

You pouted. “I’m sorry,” You lightly glanced at Yuta standing a few feet away from you. “Things happened.”

Johnny ruffled the top of your head, smiling charmingly. “Well, I’m happy you chose your own happiness.” He crouched down so that his face is a few centimeters away in front of you. “I just wish that Yuta would give you the happiness you truly deserve.” You blinked in surprise. What does he mean by that? It felt positive but the way he said that sentence made you think otherwise.

You only felt someone pulling you away from Johnny and your back is now leaning on someone’s chest. “Your flight is already boarding, Johnny Seo.” Yuta claimed, smiling teasingly.

“Good luck with this jealous freak, little kitty cat.” The other guy exclaimed, grinning. He spread his arms wide and you reached out to give him a hug. “I’ll contact you about your dad.” His fingers casually thread on your hair. “Always remember that I’m just a call away, Y/N.” You nodded.

“Johnny, your flight.” Yuta reminded and you bit your lip to prevent from giggling at that. You only felt Johnny kiss the top of your head before you were once again pulled back by Yuta, his eyes glaring at the taller guy. You remembered crying a lot when he first said goodbye to you. Your first friend. The person who became a mother to you when you needed that particular person in your life. Yuta slipped his arm on your waist, “Are you alright?”

Somehow, you felt a lot stronger now. You are just smiling at the person you used to call ‘Mother’, waving at him enthusiastically. You didn’t even shed a tear even if you weren’t sure when you can see him again.

Mother. Johnny was right. Sophie best fits that nickname now.

You smiled, “I suddenly miss Sophie.”

The ride back to Sophie’s place was a little short. Yuta was busy talking to someone on the phone and you heard that he’s meeting another mafia boss for lunch. To be honest, you still haven’t wrapped up your head on what a mafia boss does. You know they get into violent fights a lot but where did they get all the money they have? Isn’t it illegal? Will you get in trouble if you remain to be this close to a mafia boss?

The car stopped in front of your apartment building but you waited for Yuta to finish his call. During the whole car ride, he was holding your hand and playing with your fingers. “Thank you for driving me home,” You claimed then thanked the driver as well. “I will…”

“I’ll walk you upstairs,” Yuta claimed, putting down his phone and lightly glanced at the driver who went out of the car and opened the door for him. What? He doesn’t need to do that. He has a lunch meeting and he’ll be late if he doesn’t leave now. Yet, he was already opening the door on your side of the car and lending a hand for you to take.

It was awkward. Your palms are sweaty from all the hand-holding but he kept his hold on you as you walked to the elevator. “You don’t have to walk me up.”

Once inside, he pulled you closer. “I want to spend as much more time with you.” He held your cheek with his free hand, placing his lips on you. “I don’t know when I can see you again. When I can kiss you like this again.” He placed another soft kiss on your lips. “Let me just indulge in you for a while.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, parting your lips to let his tongue enter your mouth. How many times have you kissed? But you can’t get enough of him. This is bad. You’re getting addicted to Yuta Nakamoto. The elevator opened but you’re still in his warmth. Yuta was right. You don’t know when you’re going to see him again. Doesn’t know when you’re going to be in his arms again. You should maximize all the time you have with each other. The elevator door closed but you were still in his arms, kissing his lips.

—--

Sophie has her arms crossed, glaring at you sternly. She’s really such a mom. “I’m sorry,” You whispered, rubbing your hands to apologize to her. “I left my phone so I can’t call you.” You explained then sighed, “And I should have called you last night. I thought I’m going to die.”

She raised an eyebrow then smiled mischievously. “So you spent the night with Yuta Nakamoto and he kissed you goodbye after bringing you home,” she started. Yuta already explained the situation to her when she opened the door for the two of you. She remained stoic that he only kissed your goodbye, promising that he’ll call you. “Is he good in bed?”

You gasped at the direct question but she only slapped your arm, teasing you that you shouldn’t be innocent since something clearly happened between you and Yuta. Is it that obvious? “I don’t know,” You answered quietly then continued, “But I felt that...” She raised an eyebrow in confusion. “You know that pleasurable body-shaking release.”

“Oh, my God! He gave you an orgasm.” She shouted, repeatedly slapping your arm. “Is he big?” It was your turn to give her a confused look. Big? “The innocent attitude isn’t fitting now that your virginity is taken.” Oh. That. “I’m so proud…”

“He didn’t remove his pants.” Sophie’s eyes widened in surprise. “He said he’ll take care of it.”

“And you just let him?” She screamed against your ear. Why is she so loud? And why is this conversation so embarrassing? She hit you with a throw pillow that made you hiss in pain. Why is she hitting you so much? “He gave you an orgasm and you didn’t do anything for him? How stupid!”

But what are you even supposed to do? You don’t even know what to do for him at that time. Can you even repay the pleasure he gave you? “What should I do?”

“Jerk his cock off, suck him off.” Huh? “Bite his head off.” What? “Next time you’ll meet, make sure that you give him a mind-blowing experience, Y/N.” You’re now suddenly dreading to see him. Are you even ready for this? And what if you cannot give him that mind-blowing experience? Will he leave you? Will that be the last time you’ll feel that body-shaking orgasm? “Wait, so how did he give you an orgasm if he didn’t penetrate you?”

“His fingers,” Then in a soft voice, “His tongue.”

Sophie gasped and then screamed, slapping your arm once again. “God damn it! You are a lucky bitch.”

A bitch. That was what you feel now. A female dog always waiting for her master. A female dog wagging her tail when his master gives her attention. Yuta called that night, asking how you were or what were you doing. You were just lying on the bed and he just whispered that he wanted to be in the same bed as you. His voice was low, erotic. That you started touching yourself.

The warmth of his lips is still imprinted on your body. The feel of the rough pad of his fingers, as they caress your skin, makes your body blaze as if in fire. Your fingers trailed the same path as what Yuta did last night, from your neck, shoulder, breasts, and down to your stomach. Breathing heavily, you dipped your finger south. Your forefinger circled your clit before two fingers entered your wet folds. "Y/N, are you there?" His voice whispers your name against your ear, earning your body the pleasure that you are so familiar with. A moan escaped your lips as you loudly heard the squelching sound your fingers made, along with the light giggle from the phone. "Naughty Y/N. Do you like that?"

You bite your lips, turning around so that you are stomach-flat on the bed. Your face buried on the pillow as you released a throaty scream when you wet yourself. The orgasm, you've done it to yourself. Although it's not as intense as what Yuta gave you, it's still there. "Did you enjoy that?" You forgot that Yuta was still on the phone with you. Why are you so blinded by pleasure? “I wish I was there to watch you.”

You are a bitch. A bitch in heat for this man.

The dirty doings transcend to your dreams that you always wake up feeling bothered, hot, and horny. Truly, a bitch. You were never like this before and it’s making you crazy. You wanted to feel that intense pleasure again but Yuta just messaged that he's heading to Shanghai for a week. To ease the heat you were feeling, you started watching porn which is out of character for you. You watched diligently how to pleasure yourself and how to send a man into his own orgasm, as Sophie suggested.

It was weird that you felt guilty for thinking erotic thoughts about the man you had an intimate moment with, especially seeing his niece. It was a feeling you had before, when you thought she was his daughter. But Momo was only smiling at you, excited to see you. Miss Han was just behind her, watching over the younger girl as she selected orange flowers. "And Yuta told me to get you a white lily." You smiled then took the flowers she chose, arranging them in a bouquet.

"Do you miss Yuta?" Momo asked but you only smiled timidly. You do. But who are you to ask for his time when you knew he was busy? "I miss him and Uncle Mark whenever they leave abroad," She claimed then fiddled her thumbs, continuing in a soft voice. "I wish they wouldn't leave anymore." You only pursed your lips at that.

"I wish they wouldn't get hurt that much."

The lover of a mafia boss. Sophie teasingly calls you that. Sooner or later, as she claims, you're going to run the mafia like the lady of the house. The mafia boss' wife. Even the store employees from when you purchased clothes called you that. But what does it take to be associated with the mafia? What does it take to be dating a mafia boss?

You cannot just give him pleasure sexually, you need to do your part to help him. Momo is worried that they would get hurt. But what exactly are they doing in Shanghai that would hurt them? You wished Yuta would just call you and assure you that he is still alive. You need to know what you should do to stop these worrying thoughts.

If only you could talk to a mafia boss' wife.

But the only mafia boss' wife you know is Kyoko and you didn't have that great impression of each other. Who should you talk to?

The struggle to find someone who you can talk to has brought you in front of Fortune Club. If there is one person who might know things about the mafia world, that would be the owner of this club. Mama.

It feels weird to be the customer and not the waitress in the club. The girls are happy to see you and excited for a quick chat but the busy night prevented them from doing so. Lexi was walking to her regular when you met eyes and she gave you a raise of an eyebrow. "Mama is in her office, ready to see you." One of the bouncers claimed and you followed him to the homey office which smells of tea. Mama was all smiles at you, asking you to sit down.

You don't know what to do right now. You don't even know why you went here in the first place but she made sure that you can feel that you're welcomed in the club you once worked at. "I'm glad you visited. I was worried about you," She started while pouring a green liquid into teacups. But her statement startled you. Worried about you? "Do you miss him?"

Honestly, you don't know what you're feeling right now. You don't miss him that much. You were just starting this - you weren't sure if you could call it a relationship - so you didn't know what to expect. You weren't talking much to each other even before, why would that change now that you two were more open to your feelings for each other? "I think I'm more worried." You confessed, holding the teacup with both your hands and watching the smoke coming up from the warm tea. "I don't know what this is. I don't even know what I should do, Mama."

She gave you an assuring smile. "Y/N, you have to understand that a mafia boss is prone to danger. You might be seeing him now but you're not sure what will happen later." She claimed. "That is the hardest factor in your relationship with him."

You sighed heavily. It is. Maybe that's why you're more worried about this. You don't know when you can see Yuta again. If you can even see him again. Maybe that was why Momo said those things.

Mama sipped her tea, "So what are you and Yuta now?" You shrugged, you haven't labeled anything from what you have. You weren't sure if you can call yourself Yuta's girlfriend now. A lover perhaps? “Did he at least tell you that he’s crazy about you?” Wait, how did Mama know about that? “He kept coming back here and asking me what he was feeling about you. I think that kid loves you.”

“He did say he loves me.”

The surprise in her reaction confused you. Does she not expect that much from Yuta? “He did?” She sipped on her tea once again. “He didn’t even say that word to Kyoko and just asked her to marry him.” He did? But why are you surprised? He did mention that he found out about love because of you. “You might really be the real thing for him.”

Does she know Yuta so well that she assumed those things? Does she not like Yuta confessing to you? Are they perhaps ex-lovers? “Mama, are you and Yuta…” You trailed off, not sure on what word to use. Yet you knew she understood you when she laughed wholeheartedly while shaking her head.

“He’s like a son to me.” She cleared up, “You see, I was his father’s lover.” You almost dropped the teacup at the revelation. His father’s lover? The older woman smiled at you. “ When their mother died in the hospital, their father was with me. His brother loathed me for that but Yuta was the only one who said that their father can’t do anything even if he’s in the hospital.” Her voice was quieter as if reliving that time, thumb fiddling with the rim of the teacup. “I’ve always thought that kid would do great things in the future.”

“His father’s lover?” You repeated, “When their mother died, you didn’t marry him?”

Mama leaned on her chair, smiling. “I’ve always known that I’m not meant to be a mafia boss’ wife.” But she’s already his lover. Is there a difference between the two? “Y/N, being the wife requires great courage and sacrifice. A mafia boss gets hurt a lot, his life is always on the line. And once you hold the mafia last name, you are also susceptible to that danger.” Of course. That made perfect sense. “As a wife, you are expected to wait for him. You have to experience all the anxiousness of your husband being dead or alive. You have to experience being worried that someone might take you or kill you that instant.”

She leaned in, placing her elbows on the table and resting her chin on her clasp hands. “If you’re just his lover, you aren’t expected to wait for him. You’re free from all the anxiousness, all the nervousness.” She narrated and you nodded. It does make sense. “You just need to accept what he gives you and don’t have to give something in return.”

In some ways, the talk with Mama had made something clear in you. The stark difference between being just a lover and being the mafia boss’ wife. You weren’t sure on what path you and Yuta will head to but it only made you more worried about what might happen in the future. If he did just want you to be his lover, does that mean he had to find himself a different wife? And if he asks you to be his wife, is he going to find a lover? You shook your head, Yuta isn’t like that. He loves you. You have to accept what he gives you and be grateful for that. You have to make every little moment count the next time you meet.

But will you ever meet again?

Something in your bag vibrated that startled you. Quickly, you took the phone Yuta gave you and stared at the screen revealing his name. You have never clicked the green button that quickly and answered an over-excited hello. “Hi, love.” It was Yuta. “Are you outside? Where are you?”

Somehow his voice is breathless. “I’m heading home from Mama’s place.”

“I’ll ask someone to pick you up and bring you here in the apartment.”

Wait. He’s back? “I can take a cab to go there.” You whispered and quickly glanced around for any sign of taxi cabs. “Are you alright?”

“I just want to see you.” He whispered, followed by a loud gasp. He doesn’t sound alright. “I miss you.” You didn’t realize how much you missed him after listening to his voice.

“I miss you, too.”

It was a short ride to the luxurious building. The cab driver was eyeing you weirdly and you grew nervous. Is this what Mama said about being in danger? Does he know that you’re going to a mafia boss? Maybe you should have just said yes to Yuta’s offer to pick you up. Luckily, the doorman of the building was at your aid. You thanked him after paying the driver and he even told you to use the VIP elevator, followed by the name ‘Mrs. Nakamoto’. Mrs. Nakamoto? And how did he know that you’re meeting Yuta?

That didn’t matter much as you entered the penthouse and saw blood droppings on the floor. “Yuta?” You called while removing your shoes and you only heard a soft voice coming from the living room area. Once you turned the corner of the receiving area, following the trail of blood drops, you saw a lot of blood-soaked gauze on the floor. Yuta was sitting on the couch, medicine to clean wounds on the table in front of him. “What happened?” He was pulling a thread from his skin to close the wound on his right abdomen.

“It’s nothing.” It doesn’t even look like nothing. But his face isn’t even showing pain. Even the way he stitched up his own wound seemed too professional. “It’s a small slash.”

A small slash? Yet, he needed to stitch it up? Is he too used to getting hurt that this seemed nothing to him? “Do you need any help?”

He smiled, shaking his head. “Just seeing you here is enough.”

'You just need to accept what he gives you and don’t have to give something in return.' It’s not like you don’t want to give him something in return. But what can you honestly give him when he has everything and you have nothing? Maybe, like Mama, you aren’t fit to be a mafia boss’ wife.

He cut up the thread and covered the wound with gauze. Maybe you should learn how to do that and help him next time. “You should let Jaehyun see that wound.”

Yuta shook his head, putting the medicine in the kit. “This will heal. Jaehyun would just tell me things I already know.” But isn’t it better to ask for a professional’s help in this matter? You helped him keep the things he used. “He only has the license but I still top him in class.”

It sounded like a brag but what surprised you is he was in the same class as Jaehyun. “You’re supposed to be a doctor?” You asked, blinking at the idea. He nodded, laughing at your surprised face. It answered one of the questions you have in mind. If he’s not a mafia boss, Yuta might have been a doctor. He might be working in a large hospital, wearing those white robes that add attractiveness to anyone. He’s in high society and you’re at the bottom, the same as now. There’s really no way you’ll meet each other that way.

And somewhat you’re relieved that he became a mafia boss.

“Are you that surprised?” He gestured for you to come sit beside him and you complied, leaving the medicine kit on the table. Once you were within his reach, he quickly wrapped you in his arms for a tight hug. “I missed you so bad.” He whispered, breath warm against your neck. “I thought I wouldn’t be able to hug you like this again. It scared me.” You realized that this would be the constant dilemma you and Yuta will have. The downside of being in love with a mafia boss.

Mama was right. Love isn’t just enough. You need to sacrifice a lot of things to be with Yuta: not seeing your dad, the fear of not being enough for him, and the unsure future. And you need courage.

The courage to stay with him whatever happens. The courage to always choose him.

Your arms wrapped around his neck in a tight hug. “I love you, Yuta.” His hands removed your clasp on him before holding your cheeks to place a soft kiss on your lips. A needy kiss that you desperately crave. His tongue slipped between your lips. His warmth and dominance send flames into your body.

His lips were red and swollen when he let go of you, breathing harshly while staring at you with hooded eyes. “Fuck, I want you.” He whispered before he cursed once again. “But I can’t move much. Curse this wound.”

You giggled at that before your fingers trailed on his bare chest. “Then, is it alright if I do something for you?” He looked confused before you gently kissed his chest. You have to give him that mind-blowing pleasure that he let you experience to return the favor. You need to put all your studying into action. You have to make Sophie proud.

Curse words kept on coming out his lips as you trailed butterfly kisses on his chest. You gently sucked and licked his nipple which earned a low groan from him. A sexy sound like music in your ears. The way that his sounds were becoming louder as you head south of his torso gave you much confidence that you kneeled in front of him, parting his legs. “Y/N,” he called, “You don’t have to do this.”

You stared at him, breathing harshly. “I want to.”

“Fuck.” He leaned in to kiss your lips. “I love you so much.” You smiled before your shaking fingers undo the button of his pants and unzip his fly. Yuta’s eyes closed, which gave you a signal to continue what you were doing.

Along with a groan coming out his lips as you pulled down his pants, a gasp escaped your lips. He’s big. You can now proudly tell Sophie that he’s bigger than the vibrator she uses. It’s weird how the other penises from porn look white or dark in color but Yuta’s look so red and throbbing as if it will explode. Wait, is he turned on already? But you haven’t done anything.

You trailed your fingers on the vein of his cock and he bit his lip, jerking his hip up. You rubbed your forefinger on the tip and he let out a string of curses that made you smile. Either he’s mad or he probably likes it too much. You placed a soft kiss on his tip and a groan can be heard followed by your name yet you only focus on giving him the utmost pleasure you can give. You focused on his balls, licking and lightly sucking before your tongue went north to his shaft, stopping on the tip.

You took him in your mouth, bobbing your head up and down while occasionally looking at Yuta's reaction. His eyes were closed, his chest heaving up and down, as silent whispers of your name escaped his lips. You only have seen that reaction in porn videos you currently watch, when a guy was on the verge of his release. Maybe you’re doing a good job.

To further elevate his pleasure, you gently bit the tip of his throbbing cock and his eyes shot wide that instant. “Love, that hurts.” The pet name made your heart skip a beat in your chest. “Use less teeth.” But Sophie said to bite his head off. Is that metaphorical? You followed him by taking him once again in your mouth, gently letting the tip on your throat without gagging. His fingers thread on your hair as he thrusts his hip up. A sign that he likes it. You are indeed doing a great job.

And that was further agreed upon when he started groaning in a low tone, calling your name as if chanting a prayer. “I’m cumming.” He warned, gently pulling your hair but resisting him by keeping his ock in your mouth and letting him spurt all his cum in your mouth. “Y/N, you don’t have to…” You gulped the slimy, salty goo in your mouth. “Swallow.”

He stared at you in a mixture of confusion and astonishment. You read that guys love girls who swallow so you did. And it doesn’t taste that bad, but not that good either. It’s weird. That’s the only adjective you can think of. You wipe your lips from the drool and some remaining cum with the back of your fingers, his eyes still fixated on you. Surprise was all you can feel when he pulled you up and let you sit on his lap. You were even careful not to graze his wound but he only held you by the waist, staring at your eyes. The chocolate brown gaze makes your body melt. “That was amazing,” He complimented, earning a light blush on your cheeks. “Where did you learn all that?”

You were ashamed of your actions. But you’ll feel more embarrassed if he thinks that you frequently do all these things to others so it’s better to come clean. “Porn,” You whispered, looking bashful as you said the following words. “I wanted to learn to give you an amazing orgasm.” Yuta giggled, pulling you close for a hug. You wanted to see his face, wanted to know his reaction.

“You’re adorable, love.” He kissed the side of your neck. “Once this wound is healed, I’ll make sure you won’t be walking for weeks.” You gasped then stared at him wide-eyed. Isn’t that so sadistic? But why are you getting excited?

A small smile played on your lips, “Then you should take care of yourself and let the wound heal quickly.” Yuta grinned like a young schoolboy. He looks so attractive like this. A different side from the scary mafia that the world sees. A side that only you can see. You wanted him to be happy, smiling like this, all the time. You are sure you’ll do everything to make him this happy.

Even if it costs you everything you have.

“Y/N,” He called and you hummed in response. His eyes stared at yours. Chocolate brown eyes looking all so serious that you felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Your breathing started to knock on your lungs as your heartbeat tenfold against your chest. You wanted him to smile, not to look all serious like this.

The words coming out of his lips made your heart drop in your chest.

The words you have been dreading to hear.

“Marry me, Y/N.”

Chapter Twelve

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