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#sorry to be negative on the first post I make here in forever lol
crystallinearts · 7 months
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half tempted to just delete my SoundCloud and stop doing ASMR lol
every other notification of a comment I get over there is fucking rude
I get all excited about a comment, only for the comment to say that my voice for the character doesn't sound like them or talking about how they don't like the character.
I'm so fucking tired. it makes me feel likeI should never have started in the first place. doing it makes me happy, but I don't know why people have to be like this.
YouTube sucked in its own ways, but at least people commented more and weren't usually rude or talking about how they hate the character on a video for that character.
like what the fuck. I hate my life enough, don't get my fucking hopes up with comments only for them to be asshole nonsense. Jesus fuck, I'M OVER IT.
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insipidenvy · 4 months
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20 Questions for Fic Writes
Thanks for the tag, @cnnmonbimee!
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? I have 103, though only 94 are publicly available through my profile.
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 423,411! Quite a lot of words, if I do say so myself 😤
3. What fandoms do you write for? A huge majority of my fics (and that I'm probably more known for) are for JSHK! Before that, I was dabbling a bit in Ensemble Stars, but the second most-written fandom for me would be Fairy Tail, the series that actually inspired me to start writing!
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
your flowers are my lullaby (JSHK, 304 kudos)
The Girl Next Door (JSHK, 273 kudos)
The Fantastical Case Study of the Lonely Rabbit and Ghostly Cat (JSHK, 254 kudos)
Just Confess or So Help Me God- (JSHK, 198 kudos)
Whose Hunt is This? (JSHK, 186 kudos)
Looking back at some of them, I am embarrassed by my cheesiness 😌 It will happen again, sorry if that's not your thing.
5. Do you respond to comments? I try to! Whether it's a simple comment or a detailed one, I always love reading people's thoughts! This is reminding me that I haven't done so in a long time, I'm sorry to any readers who've left comments that I haven't responded to! I've just been so busy with life that it often slips my mind >< I'll try to get to them soon!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? That's tough... I tend to write fluff so any angsty ending might just be those with character deaths... even then some of them still get a happy ending 🤔 But if I had to pick, then it's either Heaven on Earth or Fly Away with Me?
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Again a toughie because I mostly write fluff lol. The first fic that comes to mind is farewells are not forever! Mostly because I was able to receive a lot of thoughts and feedback for this story in particular, so it sticks out to me the most 😊
8. Do you get hate on fics? I've only gotten two negative comments on my fics, and truthfully, I found their thoughts fair. Were they constructive criticism? No, but what they voiced was exactly how I felt about my writing, so I don't fault them for voicing their opinions. If anything, those comments helped me take a step back from writing to figure out how I wanted to continue with my writing/posting quality, so I have to thank them for that!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I've written some, but as I've told Hime before, you'll need to subscribe to my (nonexistent) OnlyFans to find out 😉
10. Do you write crossovers? I don't, but I see merit in doing so! Personally, I like to write for fandoms separately. There may be AUs, but never a crossover between characters from both series/fandoms.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think so? If I found out I did I don't know what I'd do apart from making an announcement here or on my ao3 profile saying I currently only post works on ao3...
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. Someone offered to translate my fics for me in the past to Spanish, but around that time there was a whole drama about how one writer/translator just used Google Translate. It got heated and I got scared lol, so I asked the writer who offered to translate my fics not to translate them and even added the whole "Please do not translate my works" thing in my profile.
As someone who does translation work myself, I hope that any translations are done with love and care and not lazily thrown into a translator. That isn't to say the person who offered is any of that, on the contrary I think they were genuine with their offer, but at the time I didn't want to get wrapped up in any drama so I stepped away from anything that could drag me into it.
I think I'm more open to the thought of having my fics translated now, but I might be picky or cautious of who offers/does them.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I find the idea fascinating! I have a lot of self-doubt about the quality of my writing, and now that life's gotten busy there's the whole speed and availability aspect to work around too, so I don't think I'll be able to write anything for now lol
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I can't choose! My favorite ships depend on my mood lol One moment I may love HanaNene, for example, and the next it's AmaNene, or even TsuNene, or even HanaNeneTsuka! It's hard for me to pick one.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Never ask a woman her weight, a man his salary, or a writer their WIPs u_u I've not found the time or energy to write, and currently my interest and motivation for this fic in particular is at an all-time low, but I want to finish Down the Plank and Into Your Arms. I try to ensure all my fics as completed for this account, so that's one promise I want to keep.
16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue... maybe? More specifically, banter? That's one aspect of my writing that's often praised, so I think maybe that.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'd say, without a doubt, it's descriptive writing lol Sorry I've got no imagination or good words to set the scene, it just kinda fills itself in my head.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've thought of doing that before, but I couldn't think of a scenario that required anyone to speak in another language lol
19. First fandom you wrote for? Fairy Tail! Quality and pet peeves of mine for the series aside, it's got a soft spot on me for being the fandom that pushed me into writing fanfic.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Why must you make things tough 😭 As I'm sure you've noticed by now, I'm awful at deciding a single favorite of anything. BUT, if I really had to pick only one..! It's glass shattered, clay battered.
I think this was written the month before the Severance chapter lol It's an introspective fic in Hanako's POV and it's got some metaphors/themes that I'm proud of. Even after knowing what happens post-Severance, I don't feel like the Hanako I wrote here is all that different from the Hanako we know in the manga.
Others I'm proud of are I Must Think of a New Life and I Mustn't Give In, i leave you with all that i love, but i will never let you go, Love is a Race and I'm Stuck at the Goddamn Start Line, Roots Run Deep, Leaves Grow Bare, Happily Never After, and love like a rose!
I swear that last sentence is only six other fics even if it looks like a paragraph🤧i do like me some long titles...
I not good at thinking of who to tag in particular, so I tag everyone! Everyone is free to participate!
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delilah705 · 2 months
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I’m not sure…it was only something I saw in passing and they just wanted to give the advice about saving things to a secondary location so the situation that happened to them won’t happen to others
You should! I’ve seen other authors post fic rec threads. Mainly on twitter tho (I refuse to call it x, will forever be twitter to me). They post a brief summary and a link to the fic. That’s how I found some of my favs!! Yeah, for sure would have to be confident that the right crowd would be the only one to see recs. Wouldn't want it to reach the wrong audience 😬
Omg, it would turn out like those memes where the premise is when your cousins are over and you guys end up laughing instead of sleeping while trying to not wake up your mother 🤣. Don’t say such nice things!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺 You fr would never be able to get rid of me then. I’d be one of those annoying small flying bugs that never seem to have anything better to do than bother you (this fr will be me 🪰🪰🪰🪰🪰 lol). Haha, not us having that cheesy, cliche drug deal scenes in the movies but with fic recs instead. What are your top tags/fandoms??? Or better yet what is an absolute no for you? If you have specific preferences I can comb through the fics I have saved/bookmarked that you might be interested in or at very least narrow down what you’re more likely to enjoy
Well if you say that I definitely do have recs but they aren’t exactly fanfics and really depends how you feel about the genre as a whole…..these books have 100% destroyed my soul but I’ll rec them in a heartbeat (it's what my main account centered around). They hold such a special place in my heart (really helped me out in my teen years), but I am careful with who I share them with due to past experiences. I shared them with, who I thought was a friend at the time, but they obvs didn’t care which made me feel like I was too forceful sharing my passion; like,, sorry if I came off as too much I was just excited to share….
Not that I think you’ll do that and I’ve toned down excitement levels when first sharing, unless the person is just as passionate as me lol, but nevertheless all I ask from others is that if you truly aren’t interested just say so in the beginning instead of leading me on 😅. We can always find something else that we share a passion in. Idk, I don’t mean to sound vague/guarded but that experience still haunts me sometimes…..(I feel like I brought down the vibes, I didn’t mean for it to get so negative at the end I swear 😔). Anyway, I’d be down to drop the titles if you want 
Make the world ready lol. There’s got to be at least one person out there waiting with open hands, right? Then again fics always choose to publish on their own time. Some of my fics have definitely been published out of order. I’ll have them lined up this one publishes at this time, that one publishes next , etc but there’s always that defiant fic and honestly at that point I’m like ‘you do you’
Ahhh, that makes sense then. Not having read the books I lose a lot of info straight from the source and mainly come across bits and pieces of info…
Well wishes as always xx <3
Aww. :(
Maybe I will… I've been thinking about it for a bit, and I've seen other people do it on here. (XD Omg! Same! I don't call it X either. Not when the url is still Twitter) D: Oh, I did not think of that, though! That kinda makes me nervous to do it now. Hmm… I don't think any of my current followers on here would be that rude, but other people on this website I do not trust. Tumblr has certainly become more aggressive and hateful recently than I've ever seen it in the past.
XD Omg! Aww, but why not? I don't think you're annoying! And you're certainly not bothering me! I've been popping back in occasionally to see if you've answered, haha. XD Omg! Dealing fic recs! Okay, uh… Hmm… That's a tough one. I usually mostly read reader-inserts as of late, but I'm always open to discovering new ships and there are certain characters I multiship like no one's business (like Tohru, Zelda, Link, and Haruhi off the top of my head). There's a lot of fics I still gotta re-find concerning canon x canon, and it makes me so sad that just today I removed several from my bookmarks that the author of had deleted. I'll read any kind of ratings G-E, and I like everything from fluff to angst to smut to humor, platonic or romantic. For E rated fics, anal stuff isn't really my thing, nor spanking or the dirty talk that involves daddy kink or names like 'bitch' 'slut' etc. I'm not a fan of inflation or food kink (in like, the extreme feederism you see in r34 art. I can handle the whipped cream on the tiddies or pouring wine on someone's body and drinking it stuff, but I don't like force feeding or overfeeding until the character throws up or pressing/squishing their stomach to make them throw up, which I have seen in fic before. Not my thing), anything to do with feces or piss, or hardcore descriptive gore. Descriptive body horror tends to make me nauseous, and while I have powered through gorey irl books, I do not like necrophilia or wound fucking, which I discovered the latter was a thing pretty recently. And I'm not very fond of bugs more often than not, though I'll make an exception for Cell.
Other than that, I'm pretty open-minded and can't really think of any other hard no's off the top of my head, though I would prefer no recommended Trigun fics until after I finish FTPOF and maybe it's manga variant. I've been kinda holding off looking back through the Trigun fandom now on Ao3 because I'm scared I'll see something in someone's fic that I really want or plan to use in mine and psyche myself out of using it or change it because I'll be worried about idea theft claims. It's like, right now, even if I still get idea theft claims ever, I won't be worried about it 24/7, you know? XD I won't feel like I'm stealing anything if I don't know it exists currently in someone else's fic! Oh gosh,… As for fandoms, I've been in quite a few… I don't think I could possibly list them all. I haven't really checked out stuff on Ao3 yet (x reader. There's way more I haven't checked out for canonxcanon just yet): Naruto, The Legend of Zelda (but please no ToTK spoilers just yet. Rauru be lookin fine tho 👀), Undertale, Claymore, Pokemon, Fruits Basket, Black Butler, Death Note, OHSHC, Wolf's Rain, Spider-verse, FNAF, Psycho-Pass,… I used to also read oc / oc when it came to monster fics. I love those. As for canonxcanon, other fandoms I enjoy are: Bleach, Dragon Ball, Fullmetal Alchemist, Detroit: Become Human, Yu-Gi-Oh, Transformers,… Uh, can't think of anymore rn. ^^; At least not ones I know are probably pretty decently sized on Ao3.
Books, you say? 👀 Depending on what they are, I might not have access to them for a while as I can no longer shop online at the moment, but if they're something I could potentially find locally, I'd be willing to check them out. D': Aw, I'm sorry! I've definitely felt that way in the past, feeling too intense about my interests, and I've toned down a lot when sharing things irl because of this. DX Oh, gosh yes! I wish people would just be more upfront about their disinterest! I even had a so-called "friend" once lie to me about checking out something that I was talking to them about, leading me on and making me think they watched it too. And… I would have just not talked about it if they'd told me upfront they didn't care enough to actually check it out or hear about it; we could have used that time to be talking about something else, but no. You're okay, I promise! Being vague/guarded is totally valid after an experience like that! (You're okay, don't worry! You didn't bring the mood down or make it too negative! I was worried that I did with some of my earlier responses, and I'm sorry and apologize if that's true.)
But yes, I'd love to hear about it! I like reading physical books just as much as fanfiction, and I really love the fantasy genre with a dash of realism, but I'll read about any book my mom and I are given which are often your generic romance and suspense books you can find almost anywhere with the usually white and red covers for the romance and the purple and black for suspense. Right now I'm actually finally giving Pride and Prejudice a chance (as I've heard so much good about it and we had a school library give it to us) alongside The Hunger Games books and a generic cowboy romance called One Lucky Cowboy. I've also been dabbling in Nancy Friday's spicy women and men's fantasy novels for smut inspiration. Usually the only reason I'll put down a book is if there's like, hard no stuff for me which has only happened twice so far? A book about witches scared me with the details it went into with the witchcraft (I can't recall the title) and I could not handle the start of the first The Vampire Chronicles book and dropped it. But I could handle The Mountain King by Rick Hautala, Blood Trail by Tanya Huff, Endless Night by Richard Laymon (which was arguably the most fucked up book I've read so far), the first The Passage book by Justin Cronin and I've even made it up to A Dance With Dragons in the ASOIAF series (part listening, part actually reading) and listened to a lot of the Chaos Seeds (up to book 8: Monsters. Sion my beloved :')) books on Audible.
XD Trust me, I'd love to, but fate is stopping me from getting that particular fic file back and has been for over a year now. If it can't be recovered, I do fully intend to make the best of what I had on my USB that I so foolishly did not back up that night from the temporary laptop I'd been using which would not boot up the next morning. I do intend to post it one way or another if I can, but… I really would love to get the version I'd been polishing that should still be on the hard drive. :O Wait, really? XD Omg! Sometimes, I tell ya, that's just how it be. I dunno what it is. They like, seem to have a mind of their own sometimes.
Which,… The movies cut out a lot of details and a lot of it is hard to convey movie-wise mostly because it's all in Katniss' head, all her inner thoughts and feelings. She's very stone faced outwardly because she has to be in the books, and that's often how she comes across in the movies. It's all an act, though. Her inner feelings are very loud inside, but she has to be strong and it sucks because she's still just a teenager.
Thank you! :') Well wishes for you too!
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i had to reread n edit this before posting like i was going over an essay jesus christ ((tristamp spoilers))
tldr; i was honestly disappointed but i still don't think it was completely awful + i hope if they do a 2nd season it's better *wants to see milly*.... fuck the director though
EDIT!!! 2nd season was confirmed so you can ignore the points where i question if it will happen lol
EDIT 2 actually idt i'll watch the 2nd season... for reasons that just hit me so.... + fuck night*w as well
most of this was written before the finale eek
the major problems were that the pacing was soooooo weird n some of the changes (both story wise and design wise) they made were questionable esp towards the latter half
my positive points:
i do still think individual eps at the first half were really good
i loved the animation + how they used colors
the backgrounds are cool
the artstyle shift in wolfwood's flashback was cool
i've always been "ok" abt vashwood honestly (sorry) but i will acknowledge they were very yaoiful here. i saw a person who didn't ship vashwood say the ep in tristamp where they literally just met made them ship it which was really funny bc how did that change your mind so fast
i'm ngl the milly + eriks name drops made me *JAWDROP* but that's something that only matters to ppl who watched/read the ogs first
my negative points (uh oh):
white washed wolfwood (+ his skintone is soo inconsistent in merch)
they gave vash no room to breathe n he doesn't get big sillay moments after ep 3
^ this is true for every character except i guess roberto? more on roberto later
^^^ goes with the previous too points but it felt like they were way too focused on the drama n sadness without enough (long lasting) happy or hopeful moments to contrast or balance it out overall - to the point were the characterization of our main cast suffered for it bc there wasn't enough there with them to make that properly work. and THEN the silly moments ended up suffering too bc they start feeling out of place. the drama beats kept happening one after the other at breakneck speed without breaks, messing up the pacing as well (i can kinda blame this at least partially on the fact they only had 12 eps when the og was 26 eps but i've watched plenty of 12 ep series with great pacing so i don't really know what happened here?)
i disagreed with this at first, but the lore with vash being front-loaded really did hurt the story a bit in the long run. obviously they did still spread the full details out over the course of the show but it was :\
specific to "the running man"- it's my fav ep tbh but it was strange how all the townsfolk were partying w the nebraskas with no indication they'd arrest them after they did so much damage n vash didn't even get to fix the damaged plant?? so why were they so joyous when the initial problem wasn't solved?
roberto.... was such a weird character... he managed to be both a dick n a guy w no personality, he was there to give exposition + attempt to be funny? n then die. also the marketing staff fucking hates him he's never in any merch wtf ((edited after the finale: well now we know he wasn't meant to replace milly (i had a whole paragraph complaining abt that lol) + now i feel like they added him just to kill someone other than wolfwood off))
i can't speak much on elendria bc i had so much trouble reading trimax forever ago that i never retained anything abt her other than she's trans, but everything involving her in tristamp felt strange/ like it didn't work. i have essentially same feeling about livio here. they threw legato to the side??
what the fuck was the thing with the plants towards the end. it just hit me what the hell
minor nitpicks:
i miss the old anime's ost :( tristamp's ost isn't bad by any means n there are tracks that i really like it's just idk man. especially with the the op song, i couldn't get myself to not skip the op SORRY. could you imagine how hype it would've been if a new rendition of H.T. or NO-BEAT started playing
i'm fine with stamp vash's design (blasphemous i know) but man would'n've one of his og coat designs worked well in 3d? i feel like it would've ((added after the finale: the new coat did look nice in black + they brought back his old hair in the last ep tho so. MAYBE... IN SEASON 2.... CLASSIC COAT....? *delusional*))
NO LOVE & PEACE?!?!?!?!
one of my nitpick points was that they technically didn't give vash the black hair bc i really wanna see it animated one day but assuming they are teasing a season 2 maybe they will eventually. but then how...?
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shreya11111 · 2 years
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For some reason I’m having byler doubts lol someone on twitter brought up how Mike was acting like he didn’t care when El broke up with him yet he was upset and chased after Will to apologize to him after they fought and the Melvins started replying with the blank makes you crazy scene where Mike apologizes to her and says he only acted the way he did because he was jealous of Max and that being broken up was hard and he has never felt this way with anyone before. I know they get interrupted and they still to this day have not had another heart to heart but for some reason it started to make me doubt again. Especially since we never got a scene in s3 with Mike getting to actually apologize to Will. The macaroni shippers use this as “evidence” for maroon 5 being endgame. Sorry if I’m being negative I just wanted your opinion on this :)
hi! absolutely no problem at all, and i’m so so sorry that it’s taken me literally forever to respond to this :(
so, let’s break down your ask:
first, let’s start with “Melvins started replying with the blank makes you crazy scene where Mike apologizes to her and says he only acted the way he did because he was jealous of Max and that being broken up was hard and he has never felt this way with anyone before”.
whenever we analyze mike’s actions and/or dialogue, i feel it is very important to keep in mind the theme of forced conformity. this is was quite prominent in season 3 but was further hammered in throughout season 4. 
mike’s behavior from s3-s4 especially elucidate this theme. you can tell that he is not being himself; rather he is doing what he thinks he is expected to do or saying what he thinks he is expected to say.
regarding “blank makes you crazy,” we know for a fact that mike was only saying it because that’s what he’d seen and thought it was also expected from him. i mean, he literally said that!
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so, it’s very probable that the rest of what he says is based on how he thinks he should feel, and not necessarily how he actually feels. 
the “being jealous of max” might be how he actually feels, but not for the reasons he implied to el. i feel if he has strong platonic feelings for el, it’s still very possible he was a bit jealous of max because he felt he was replaced as her friend/someone who was always there for her.  
the line when he said he “never felt that way before” with el honestly felt rather cliché to me. it’s something straight out of a cheesy romance movie, and i feel that was kind of the point. it sounds not very genuine, in my opinion. rather, it sounds like something he thought he was supposed to say and not the way he actually felt.
now, let’s talk about “Especially since we never got a scene in s3 with Mike getting to actually apologize to Will. The macaroni shippers use this as “evidence” for maroon 5 being endgame.”
i feel like a lot of people tend to forget about the 3 month time-skip that happened at the end of season 3. we don’t know what happened during then; it’s very possible that mike apologized to will during that time. however, i only wish that they will show a flashback of it in season 5 :/ i don’t like the way the fight was never brought up again post-season-3 (and tbh was barely even mentioned in s3).
and also, i’m sorry, but i find it so funny how moonshines will say “mike not properly apologizing to will after their big fight is proof milwaukee is endgame!!” as if they don’t just wish their ship had the amount of angst as ours do. i mean, they literally want a monorail rain kiss for christ’s sake😭
so yeah, i really wouldn’t worry if i was you! byler is 100% endgame, i’m sure of it. there’s so much proof!! everything will work out :)
tysm for your ask and again, i’m so freaking sorry for answering your ask after literal years🥲 here’s a hug as compensation 🫂 :,) i hope you have a great day!
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1 AM | peter parker x male!reader
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are we surprised, its more marvel (i promise that’s not all i write)
and this is another thing i posted this on wattpad when i was in like middle school lol aka 4 years ago so don’t expect TOO much out of it
word count: 1.7k
no warnings! this is pure fluff save for some suggestive content at the very end lol and there are some mentions of homophobia and coming out if that needs a warning!
shameless promo for my ask box! requests are open! &lt;;33
also! i am aware that this may not be what everyone’s coming out experience is like, but this was kind of what mine was like! but to anyone who had a negative and/or toxic experience with their coming out, just know that you are loved and appreciated no matter what! my page is an lgbtq+ safe space forever! <33
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"Mind if I come over?" "Peter Benjamin Parker, are you aware that it is currently 12:30 and its pitch black out?" Actually, (Y/M/N) was being dramatic. The night sky of New York City was very aesthetically pleasing with light coming from the buildings surrounding his apartment complex and the white speckles with a hint of moonlight. But the light shining through his apartment's window wasn't something he wanted to wake up to after the one and only Peter Parker. If you even considered pressing on his contact number after 10:00, you were asking for a death wish. "Yes, I am. But I'm in need of advice from my favorite person in the world, my shnookums, my baby-" "Ok, Ok, just get over here." (Y/M/N) hears Peter feign a girly giggle before hanging up. He collapses on his bed, closing his eyes and giving a quiet sigh. There was no point in getting comfortable when only his first gay crush in the world was going to be in his room. Just like all the time. He settles on his side, turning on his bedside lamp and putting on his glasses before running a hand through his hair. He starts to scroll through his social media, posting teasing rants about Peter keeping him up.
(Y/M/N) moves to his window by the fire escape. Peter slips in swiftly and throws a backpack on (Y/M/N)'s bed. "Make yourself at home, asshole." he says as the brunette exhales heavily and collapses onto (Y/M/N)’s bed. "Ok, ok. I'm sorry I woke you up at midnight, I'll buy you lunch or something during school today so you aren't grumpy." Peter sighs. "Thank you." (Y/M/N) says with a smug smile. He notices a small tint of pink on Peter's cheeks and shakes his head at the train of thought he was having; that wasn't it, that was just the lighting of his lamp and the city lights outside. "Whatever. Can I change in your closet this time?" Peter says, taking off his mask. (Y/M/N) was taken aback only the slightest. If he remembered correctly, Peter would instantly strip once the window and shades were closed. "Sure, but what's up? Heroes shouldn't be so embarrassed of little things like changing in front of their best friend." he says with a smirk, hiding any evidence of hesitance. "I-I know, but I just want to change without you being a Peeping Tom." Peter pouts as he steps into (Y/M/N)'s closet with his backpack. He waits in silence, the only sound being rustling clothes in his closet. He tries to distract himself with the view of the dim lights just outside his window. He then checks his clock. 12:39.
The rustling stops and Peter steps out in plaid pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt. "So what do you need to talk about that is so urgent?" (Y/M/N) says, hugging his knees. He holds in the urge to laugh or smile when Peter starts to squirm slightly and his ears flush red. "Y-You remember when you came out to me, right? About being…gay?" he starts, saying the last part as if it was a foreign word to him. (Y/M/N) smiles, surprised that Peter was so hesitant about the topic. "Yeah, of course." "How’d you do it again?" Peter grins, giving (Y/M/N) a look that says he remembers but he wants to hear him tell the story. (Y/M/N) groans softly at the memory of the awkward moment but smiles widely. “My pleasure."
"I'm gay!" "What?!" (Y/M/N) stares down at his lap before shutting off the car's stereo that was currently blasting Queen. He had been picking Peter up from his after-school clubs after the brunette had finally gotten tired of taking the long, hot bus ride home. Peter had just gotten in the car and had immediately taken charge of the radio as he usually did. "Hey-!" "I said I'm gay!" Peter goes still and looks at (Y/M/N). They sit in silence, the humming of the heating system breaking the silence only slightly. "R-Really?" "Yeah, I-I've known for a while now. I-I just didn't know how to tell you." Quiet. "Well..."  Peter starts, clearing his throat. (Y/M/N) can already picture it: Peter hanging out with him less and less, Peter letting the more ignorant crowds of the student body beat on him with their terrible words when they found out one by one- "I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me. It doesn’t change how I see you and it never will. I love you, (Y/M/N).” (Y/M/N) looks up and meets Peter's eyes: there’s a genuine tenderness in his eyes that he had never seen from anyone but his own family. Nothing like he'd imagined. (Y/M/N) smiles and feels tears sliding down his cheeks, trying to wipe them away as they come. "Aaahh, come on, don't cry. Come on, right here." Peter says stretching out his arms. (Y/M/N) gives a sad sort of laugh as he hugs the brunette sitting next to him, tight and warm. He felt safe and so so warm, ready to give him his whole world. If only Peter would actually do it.
“God, that was SO embarrassing. I couldn’t have chosen a worse time to tell you that. Next time you think I’m gonna say something out of the blue like that, slap me.” (Y/M/N) says with a slight flush of embarrassment on his cheeks before Peter lands a gentle smack on (Y/M/N)’s cheek. The two of them erupt into a fit of laughter, (Y/M/N) giving Peter a light shove with a “you suck”. (Y/M/N)'s eyes drift to his clock. 12:50. "So...god, this is embarrassing, I, um..." (Y/M/N) waits patiently, watching Peter squirm nervously. "If you're going to confess your undying love for me, just kiss me, you fool!" he says dramatically, flopping himself onto Peter. "Shut up and get off me! This is serious!" he replies with a stupid grin on his face. "Then get it over with!" (Y/M/N) says and sits on the side of his bed. Peter takes a beat before turning to look at the boy next to him. "H-How did you know you were gay...?" (Y/M/N) goes still at the question. He was ready to say "I just knew." but that wasn’t the whole truth. He tried to think of an answer, trying not to keep Peter waiting too long. "This is gonna sound weird, but you know how you feel when you get a rush? Like when you're doing something bad and you're free to do it, no consequences at all?" "Kinda, I guess." "That's sort of the feeling you get when you know you're gay." (Y/M/N) says, shrugging. "At least, that's how I felt." Peter nods as he takes in all the information. It's quiet for a bit.
"What if....what if I kind of get that feeling all the time?" "Welcome to the club." (Y/M/N) laughs as Peter punches his arm playfully. "But seriously, if that's how you feel, just tell me." he says smiling at Peter. The brunette looks at (Y/M/N) with a look of determination but immediately looks away when he catches him trying to hide his dorky grin and fails miserably. "I'm gay." (Y/M/N) imitates a party kazoo causing Peter to burst out laughing. His cheeks are red in embarrassment as (Y/M/N) starts singing 'We Are The Champions' way off-key. "Alright, enough. I have a really important question to ask you-" "I WILL marry you, Peter Parker!" “OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!" Peter shouts, hitting (Y/M/N) with a pillow. The two imitate girly giggles as they hit each other with pillows like they were in some cheesy teen movie. After the two of them finish goofing off, Peter goes silent. "Ok, now that we're strong gay men again, tell me what else you need before I go back to sleep." (Y/M/N) says, tilting his head slightly. Peter doesn't look at him before pointing at (Y/M/N)'s bedside lamp. "T-Turn it o-off."
(Y/M/N) takes a bit before hesitantly flipping the switch to turn off his lamp. They're enveloped in darkness, city lights shining dimly on their faces. He tries to stay casual when Peter sits closer, arms touching. "S-So whats up?" (Y/M/N) says, mentally slapping himself for stuttering even the slightest. "I want you to kiss me." It's silent for one more time that night. "I-I've only ever kissed a girl before. I-I want to know what it’s like t-to kiss a boy." Peter says in almost a whisper. Silence again. (Y/M/N) analyzes everything in his head. Him? Kiss THE Peter Parker who also happened to be THE Spider-Man? For the first time that night, Peter looks at the clock. 12:55. "Let's do it." Peter blushes as he looks at (Y/M/N) who is somewhat blushing himself. "Ok..." “But first, you have to get closer." A small squeak leaves Peter's mouth as (Y/M/N) swiftly places Peter in his lap. They both feel each other's breath on their skin, only a few inches away from each other. "If you wanna stop at any point, just pat my shoulder." (Y/M/N) whispers, seeing Peter's red ears and he can’t help the smile on his face when the brunette scrunches his nose. "Oh my God, don’t say it like that, you're making it sound like we're going to bang." How could he act so normal when he was seconds away from kissing his best friend?
"Just kiss me and-" (Y/M/N)'s lips cut him off, making Peter give a small, muffled grunt. They're lips surprisingly move in sync even if this was new ground for Peter. He tries to control himself, already feeling that rush he felt when he just looked at (Y/M/N). The feeling that deep down, he knew that he'd always wanted to do this with him. Peter is about to go a little farther when (Y/M/N) pulls away, exhaling heavily. Peter pants softly, his mind fuzzy. He sees the clock: 12:59. "So? Good enough?" Peter looks at (Y/M/N), his wet lips slightly swollen from the kiss. His heart thumps as he slowly peels off his top and softly throws it aside. (Y/M/N) marvels over Peter's body, his skin, everything that wasn't covered by clothing. "I don't want to sleep. I just want to do that." (Y/M/N) feels his cheeks go hot. It wasn't sex but it was something kinda better. "Whatever you want." (Y/M/N) glances at the clock for one quick second before Peter kisses him again, his fingers already traveling up his shirt. 1:00 a.m.
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andypantsx3 · 2 years
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hello!!! tysm for the fic advice, it really really helped!! im in the process of tryna fix up my blog layout and such, may i ask what your first fic was? or what was your first published work and how was it? the feedback, how'd u feel & stuff? i have multiple fics/ideas written down already and i just fr need to post them atp 😭
IM SO SORRY IF THIS FEELS LIKE AN INTERVIEW!! i promise i don't wanna intrude, and you definitely don't need to answer at all!!
Not at all, I’m happy to answer!!
The first thing I ever posted was my fic savvy, which is an aged-up fic about a reader in the UA business course trying to wrangle Bakugou into cooperating on a senior project, and falling in love along the way lol. I only had an ao3 for maybe the first 6 months of my fanfic writing career, so I think at least my first 7 fics were published there exclusively, before I eventually backfllled them here when I finally made a tumblr.
I can say that on ao3, everyone was very kind to me. I would get like one to two very nice comments and a handful of kudos per chapter at the beginning. It's so addicting, realizing people like your work, even if I knew it was unpolished. I would save people's comments in my inbox and read them over and over throughout the day (still do lol. If you're nice to me, I will hold onto your words literally forever). I cannot even properly describe how heady the feeling of appreciation from other people is. It really stays with you forever and ever, and makes you want to grow and learn and be better and keep delivering for those people who were kind to you.
I really like the variety of comments people give on ao3--they range from compliments, to theories about the next chapter, to personal anecdotes about aspects of the chapter, to pages-long analysis of your writing, to strings of emojis, to clarification questions, to well-wishes for your health and safety. It always makes it fun to log back onto ao3 and not be able to anticipate what kind of conversation people will be having with you.
The "negative" experiences I've had on ao3 were mostly invited by my own errors--writing my fic cover shot which is kind of exclusive of readers with darker skin tones, which I was rightly called out for failing to note. And also failing to properly note threats of violence in the first chapter of my fic statistically significant, and accidentally triggering one of my readers, which I still think about and deeply regret to this day.
I also asked for constructive feedback, which I might actually advise against for the first little bit that you are writing. Actually almost none of the concrit that I have received has been actual concrit.
In general, concrit is supposed to recognize the goal of your writing and help you achieve it. But most of the concrit that I have received has been people suggesting their own plotlines and character interpretations, and sometimes that has been phrased as, "Bakugou would never do [X thing you made him do]" or "I don't like that you made them say I love you to each other after just a couple months of knowing each other"--because while I'm sure those comments come from a place of wanting to be helpful, they're super subjective, and don't actually help me write the fic I want to write. And also they can make you feel like an idiot who doesn't understand characters or love or life as well as the next person might.
In general, though, people were very lovely and said that they thought my first few fics were good for first works, and that gave me the encouragement to keep writing!!
I don't know what it might have been like to post my works on tumblr at the same time too, although people have been generally very nice on tumblr as well. I really enjoy the community aspect of tumblr beyond anything, the opportunity to follow and get to know the sorts of people who read my fics!!
I think the one thing that you have to be prepared for when you post on tumblr is salty anons. While asking for no concrit on ao3 should be enough to ward off any more "negative" feedback, I've found tumblr to be just a liiiiiittle bit more hostile in recent months. I think this year especially, people are meaner than ever on the internet lol. I've answered 3 or 4 mean anons publicly in the last 8 months alone, but there are several more I've just chosen to block and delete.
There is almost no way for you to anticipate what kind of thing you will write or say that will upset someone on here, so if I had any advice for you (or past me) it's that you have to anticipate some bad with the good. Tumblr is just a different audience and a different kind of social media where you're judged a little bit more as a person than a writer. But know that the good is totally worth the bad!! The opportunity to really get to know people and make friends on here is the absolute best thing about the fandom.
Anyway I hope this helps and I hope this didn't scare you off!! Being a fic author has been the absolute best thing these past couple years and I totally want you to have the same experience too!!
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adpiratecore · 2 years
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Got sent a ton of numbers from the ask game post by the ever lovely @rovah17 via pm!
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So here we go!
4. What are you looking forward to?
My camping trip! My birthday is next week, so me and the Boys are driving all the way to Utah (22 hrs) to camp and hopefully dig for crystals!
5. Is there anyone that can always make you smile?
My lovely fiance and partner :)
6. Is it hard for you to get over someone?
Absolutely. Still not over the girl i dated freshman year of highschool, genuinely thought she was an ethereal being and had full plans to marry her.
10. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Sure! If you dont know me. Once uget to know me my shit is obvious lol
11. Are you listening to music rn?
Nah im listening to asmr lol
12. What is something you want right now?
I want a giant minecraft creeper plush. Like. Body pillow size. (Oh my god what if there was one of those overly sexual body pillow covers but with a creeper--- i would buy that ngl. As long as it wasnt super sexual lol)
13. How do you feel right now?
Honestly? Kinda depressed. Ive been in a weird funkrecently.
15. Personality description
I dont ever post about it, but I've actually got DID (dissociative identity disorder) so that one's hard to pinpoint? But i guess the "singletsona" or the mask we put on for basically everyone we're not close with is "chaotic nerdy punk"
16. Have you ever wanted to tell someone but you didnt?
Well, my partner (as mentioned above) is a fairly new relationship. Not even a month yet new. And we went to this convention together! Anime midwest! And we were sitting out by the fountain in the area where cars pull in for drop offs and deliveries. And all i could think about was "this would be a perfect area for a first kiss" but i chickened out and thoughtit was too soon and what if they get weirded out and--- they still dont know.
17. Opinion on insecurities.
So honestly? I think its good to have some insecurities. Like i think if everyone walked around thinking they were perfect all the time, there would be no growth as human beings, emotionally i mean. I have plenty of insecurities myself, BUT this reminds me of how many people ask me for fashion advice! I dress very alternatively and really adore my fashion style and ive yet to get a negative reaction from someone. Besides the point though, i once answered that question with "Wear what makes you want. If it makes you happy it looks good, and if someone's staring it means your hot." That just kinda randomly spewed out of my mouth and the person was like "wow thats kind of inspiring"
20. What is your favorite song at the moment?
Oh gosh good question!! Kind of depends on the vibe really, but the one i get most excited for and always sing along to is Flight Of The Crows by Jhariah
21. Age and birthday?
21!! 22 on july 26th :D
23. Fear(s)
That everyone secretly hates/dislikes me and is only keeping up relationships bc they want something out of me :)
25. Role model
Honestly i dont think i have a role model atm! I try not to compare myself with people, so my brain has turned that into dont try to be like anyone. If i reeeeeally had to choose though, my elementary school (?) Art teacher. He not only helped me with the first art project i was ever proud of, he also would be playing guitar as we walked into class and when he stopped and we thought he was done and started clapping, hed start playing again. He even played behind his head if i recall correctly!
27. Things i hate
I hate cringe culture. I also hate fast fashion. I also hate anything that makes fun of children for their interests.
28. I'll love you if...
My love language is touch, and i have chronic pain, THEREFORE, if you give me a massage im legally required to marry you. Before we started dating, i was making waffles for my partner and complained about my shoulders. They randomly came up and gave me a massage! They're stuck with me forever now (sorry babe i dont make the rules)
31. 3 random facts
AAAA I TELL THIS ONE TO EVERYONE! Any bees you see outside the hive (aka worker bees) are female! All the males are drones and only serve as reproduction matter. Had a (female) boss tell me "thats not true, they're called "worker" bees" n i looked at her, at her job, and was like "what are you doing right now"
Link, from legend of zelda, is canonically androgynous! He was designed to be able to connect with on a personal level, and therefore whatever gender the player wanted him to be
My initials are MEM and i have a friend who wanted me to marry someone whos last name started with E so we could hyphenate the last names and make my initials MEME
32. Are your friends mainly girls or guys?
Mainly girls and nonbinary folk!
33. Something you want to learn
BLACKSMITHING
34. Most embarrassing moment
Idk if this is the MOST embarrassing bc memory bad but i was on my first date with my last ex, we were bowling and it was a double date with two of their friends. They get up to bowl and as theyre trying to head to the ball dispenser, i move to touch their butt as a joke (they didnt mind we were both v touchy) and they moved away right as i did so i missed and fell off the bench. They didnt even notice lol!
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?
I want a farm. Not any sort of big thing, just enough acres for a few animals, a nice garden, and some bees. And maybe a blacksmith workshop.
On that farm, i want a divination shop! Just a little building with a front room for supplies and such, but the main attraction are the two back rooms. Decked out with tapestries and blankets and pretty fabric decorating the walls and ceilings, super comy couches or chairs around a beautiful table where we host readings of all sorts. Tarot, rune, bone throws, ect.
As soon as the farm starts up this one will likely be done, but to fill the time between now and then (bc farm is end goal) id love to be a theatre costume designer! Head honcho would be best, but honestly I'll take any position sewing :)
40. Favorite memory
Again, memory bad, but a good one is taking pictures of the highschool ex i thought i was gonna marry. I was in a photography class, and at the time planned on being a photographer professionally, so we ran around her neighborhood (she lived in a really nice area) and took pictures! Theres one of here where the sun speckles in and makes a bunch of "orbs" and it looks like shes surrounded by faeries.
51. Starsign
Leo sun, gemini moon, libra rising
52. Something you're talented at
I dont really think im talented at anything, but if i didnt say singing i think my friends would have me on a stake lol
53. 5 things that make me happy
Bees, stuffed animals, finishing costumes, my partners, and puppets!
55. Tumblr friends
Honestly i rlly dont have people i talk to consistently here, but id definitely say @rovah17 is one of em!! Thanks for being sweet bro :)
59. Why i joined tumblr
I was 14 and my friend i roleplayed with every single day told me i had to check this site out. Idr her reasoning, probably smth about fandoms, but ive been stuck ever since. I wish i could remember my first url lol!
That was long and i talked far too much but that was really fun to write!!!
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sardonic-the-writer · 2 years
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okay good bc my tumblr kept on reloading and glitching so it would delete my post and rewrite it and i think I forgot to flip the little anon switch but I think it glitched so much it didn't send it in so that's really good then. but anyways I'm here for like the millionth time in the past few hours (sorry lol). I saw the emoji-ask-you-questions thingy (idk what to call it) and was wondering about 🍩, 🦄, ❄️, and 🎶 if that's alright! I also wrote and posted my first fanfiction like 30 mins ago so that's cool I guess! Super glad it didn't send originally and I could just copy and paste it into here. Also, be sure to drink plenty of water and eat enough food because we care about you, including me /p :)
-plant anon
I shall never eat. Don't worry I'm gonna live forever/lh
🦄- how do you perceive yourself?
Mostly negatively but I will admit that I have a bit of talent when it comes to writing and making jokes!
🎶- favorite song right now?
Probably "Lets Kill Tonight" "A Good Song Never Dies" or "The Haunting"
🍩- current mood?
I'm sore and hurt all over and so fucking tired. A bit worried about my partners too but they swear they're okay heh
❄️- what is your favorite season?
Winter all the fucking way babey
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blackberry-gingham · 2 years
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Hey so you don’t need to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable…but I just noticed that you post about your faith a lot and you seemed pro lgbt so I wanted to reach out. I used to be very Catholic (like my family never missed mass kinda deal) But when I came out as gay, my family and the community pretty much rejected me so I left the church. I’m very left leaning, and so many Catholics I’ve met have told me you can’t be Christian if you aren’t conservative (and straight…)
How do you deal with it all? Because sometimes I miss my faith. But I also feel like there isn’t a place for me in it anymore with the way the world is.
Also I understand you’re just a girl and not like the authority on the church lol. I guess I was just wondering how you deal with the negativity.
(Also, this was all sent with love and absolutely no judgment. Sorry if it reads funny. I think you’re great!)💙💙💙
Hey anon! Sorry this took a few days, but no problem at all!
First I want to say that Christianity and Catholicism are not actually interchangeable/the same religion (this is why, as I assume you've seen lol, I remark that nightcrawler and I have similar religions instead of just saying "we have the same" one). So although I'm familiar with Catholic beliefs, I can only truly speak from a Christian standpoint here; But I'll still respond and I hope my own experience can maybe help light some direction for you :)
I guess with the above stated, I can't really tell you how to deal with negativity from the Catholic church considering I myself am not Catholic. However, I can tell you that anyone who would claim themselves as a Christian and yet utilizes persecution and fear tactics (i.e: you can NEVER be saved if.... Blah blah blah) is, at best, misinformed on what Christianity actually is, and at worst, is actively withholding the Christlike love that a self professing Christian is meant to be exuding.
I know this isn't the question at hand, but I really want to make sure you and anyone else reading this understand that if these people oh so truly believed that these things you've mentioned were sins, then the last thing they should be doing is casting you away. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone", after all. Know this: We are called to love one another unconditionally, because God loves us unconditionally, and I would encourage you to search for a church body that understands and practices this truth.
Keeping that in mind as I come back to your question, I've seen behavior like this even under Christianity, so I suppose the best I can say is to 1) understand that they are wrong for their actions with the negativity as you've described it and 2) that, although I know it feels hard to believe or impossible to find, there are people of your faith out there who will be accepting as they should be.
I say this bc I too have had problems trying to find a like-minded church group, and it was very difficult for me too for a while there and I mean over a year of sticking to one place, trying a few others, and then finally arriving to a place where I saw the type of things I should be seeing from my religious fellows. That's the key is the thing, it's all about keeping up the search and knowing what you are looking for in the church body. Things can only get better if you try to work towards it, and I can speak from experience that you will find what you're looking for if you're willing or able to experiment around with new places!
I hope this answered your question and I'm so sorry things are so difficult for you right now, but all things happen for a reason and struggles, no matter how daunting, cannot last forever when we hold onto faith and aim for better circumstances. Have courage my friend, and I wish you luck and encouragement to pursue your faith and find a church establishment who accepts and loves you as they are meant to :)
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alltimefail-sims · 6 months
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Hello I got an answer from the EA team and I didn’t read It correctly the first time. I’ve got banned because of 4 problematic Sims. What the problematic thing about the for Sims is they didn’t say. They’ll keep me banned and I’ll probably lose a lot of Sims.
I begged them to not delete them, so I can save them to my library or to my computer. But no comment….
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I'm also going to put your previous messages here ^ so I can respond!
I am so sorry for your situation, genuinely. Did they tell you which specific sims/gallery posts led to the ban? Even if they didn't tell you why there were problematic, if you know which posts caused the ban I might be able to look at them and tell you what the gallery might have constituted as "problematic."
Also, are they holding firm that you won't be able to buy games in the future, or have they at least resolved that? Have you heard back from them since you asked to save your sims? Not to be a negative nelly, but I am not surprised they're not being super empathetic. This is just... how these big corporations are. Never super helpful, but it sucks and I am really sorry.
More under the cut  ↓
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This game is buggy af and truly, it might not even be something you did. I call it a trashcan with a Gucci belt because that's what it has become. I love the Sims, it holds a special and nostalgic place in my heart, but boy oh boy does the Sims 4 piss me off on a daily basis so I get where you're coming from (lol).
Unfortunately, it sounds like your save files are corrupted. It could have been a mod that broke them, it could have been an update on EA's end, it could be a number of things causing your problem... but I don't think there's any fix outside of cleaning your cache files, removing all mods and CC, repairing your game through the EA app, creating a brand new save, and seeing if the issue persists after doing all that. From my research, it seems some players had a similar issue to what you're describing after the integration of Snowy Escape (there's a whole thread from 2020 on Answers HQ).
Alternatively, if you have or had any custom content food stalls in your game older than 2022, they will break your save file, even if you remove your mods/the custom stalls after the issue presents itself. If you have loaded the game with the custom food stalls and have since saved with that CC still in your game, the save file remains broken forever. This actually was caused by the My Wedding Stories Atrocity errr... Pack. Here's a Answers HQ thread on that.
Either way, something likely permanently corrupted your saves. On the bright side, it might not be the Sims themselves that are broken! Here are two answers HQ threads that are all about troubleshooting broken, irreparable saves: Thread 1, Thread 2. I'm sure there's something in there that could help you. I also think, if your saves are corrupted but not your sims, you could probably save a copy of your tray folder to your desktop before factory resetting the game, and then you wouldn't lose your sims because you could just copy and paste the tray files back into your fresh game. It's worth going in, saving the the townies you don't want to lose to your library, saving and exiting your game, then making that copy of the folder just in case.
Worst case scenario, your game is still having issues and you know the sims themselves are corrupted. Best case scenario, and in my opinion the more likely one, you find that the issue is gone once the game is repaired and all the broken saves have been removed and then you still have all those sims you love without the bug itself.
I've rambled so much, I apologize! I hope some resource I've given you has been helpful. I've said it before and I'll probably say it again, I'm not tech-savvy lol but I am genuinely happy to help you to the best of my ability. If you Google "Food stalls and curio shop only selling produce sims 4" you will find so many different people with the same issue you have.
In the future, I think the best tips I can give are:
Save modded sims with an abundance of CC to your library, not to the gallery. If you wish to share your sims that use cc, the gallery is not an effective place to do this.
Always keep your Mods folder organized - keep mods in their own labeled distinct folders and keep CC in its own distinct folders. CC can even have subfolders! I will put an example of this at the end of this list, but this is really important because it makes it easier to not only find issues if they arise, but also makes it easier to stay on top of keeping your mods up to date.
To piggy-back off that last point: keep your mods up to date. A broken mod can corrupt a whole save file if you're not careful.
Remove mods and cc before you update your game. Only place them back in once you know it is safe to do so and all your mods have been updated. Play with modded objects at your own risk, but know they might corrupt an entire save.
Regularly clear your cache files, especially after altering your mods folder by removing or adding a new mod.
I also recommend creating a subfolder in your cc folder called "New CC - [Month]" That way if your game starts acting funky suddenly, you can start with that folder. For me, that's roughtly 40 items that could be the problem as opposed to hundreds of files.
I know that is a lot, but playing with Mods and CC is something that does take some level of proactive vigilance. If TS4 wasn't constantly barfing up bullshit updates and bug fixes on players at every possible opportunity, it wouldn't be as tedious of a commitment...but that's just what we have to deal with.
Here's how I have my main MODS folder organized:
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Here's one example of the subfolders I use specifically in CAS - CC:
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Anyway, all that to say I am so sorry for your situation. I hope you can get some level of these issues solved, but if not I hope you can still play your game and make the best of a situation that is out of your control. It sucks, and I'm sending you some virtual hugs (or high fives if that is more your thing).
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nyssasorbit · 1 year
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Psssssttttt what happened that pushed you over the edge, i wanna know so badly
I'm assuming this is about my tag ramble recently.
I don't want to get too much into it, since I don't want to stir up any drama, but I'll kinda detail here what I won't detail in a post I'll probably make later.
Ever since the whole BA drama recently, I feel really...idk what's the right word for it. Disappointed? Disgusted? Embarrassed? Because of the fandom. I don't think the creator alluding to the fact that he's been assaulted in the past should be something taken lightly, and I really hate how the majority of the fandom completely ignored it.
There's a lot of things I don't agree with regarding Er/ik's writing, and, hell, I change shit all the time in my fics, but he's still a person that really doesn't deserve to have gone through something like that. Looking over comments praising him as a creator rather than connecting with him as a person just...really really struck me the wrong way. Yeah, of course people can praise him as a creator, and given that it was relevant to the content, they should add whatever comments they want regarding that! But considering he added something very personal to the conversation...for everyone to overlook it just...makes me wonder if they were even paying attention to what he wrote, or if they just jumped on the opportunity to write a comment for brownie points.
Maybe I'm just biased or something, but I've been through something similar in my own past that I'm still working through, and to see most everyone refuse to offer a little sympathy or just something kind of hurt. Everyone always talks about how much they care about Er/ik, but this instance kind of proves to me that they don't. They treated him like a content machine and only care for the products he dishes out. "Reda/cted" is who everyone loves, not "Er/ik".
And again, I don't necessarily agree with everything Er/ik says or does. I definitely don't agree with his reasons for putting out that BA for several reasons either. But this is just...this situation is just different imo.
This isn't the first time the fandom's gotten on my nerves, and in fact, several months ago I had to take a hiatus to get away from those people. But now, I just can't look at everyone the same way. I can't think about engaging with the content without feeling gross. The fandom's given me these sorts of negative vibes for a long time now, but this is just a new collective low for us. It's made me want to be as far away from this fandom and the content as possible. I want absolutely nothing to do with it.
I know this is long and rambly, and I'm really sorry. I keep wondering if I'm seeing something that isn't there, which is why I want to try to wait until the end of the year to formally leave, in case I realize that or the content itself gives me inspiration again. But right now, I have zero inspiration to keep up my fics, and I barely have enough to try to finish the last bits and edit the finale to the letter series. With Er/ik maybe being MIA for a while and the only [planned] vids being ones I'm kinda not super interested in coming up, this is a good time to leave. I'm not sure if it'll be permanent, and I may come back soonish for the canon content and/or to finish my fics so they don't live in a void forever, but I just want to forget about it all for a while.
I don't intend for this to be seen by others, but for anyone who stumbles across this (and you too anon, ofc), feel free to let me know if I'm seeing something that isn't there, or completely missing something else, because I'd love to be proven wrong about the situation. I've thought over a hundred times why being near the fandom lately makes me feel awful, and this is the best way I can articulate my feelings I think. I'm still really conflicted on it though (as you may have noticed, lol), so feel free to add to the discussion.
Sorry again for the long post, but thank you if you read all the way through!
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justalads · 3 years
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c!niki and c!wilbur enjoyers. pspspspspspsps
alright guys so last night i rewatched pretty much all of the pogtopia arc. and this isn’t meant to be a big, important analysis post (it’s kind of incomprehensible), because my brain is fried from, you know. rewatching pretty much all of pogtopia. but i do have some stuff i’d like to say.
(this also just became a niki meta sorry i love her. i really just got emo about her during the second half of this and it got long. i have a lot of feelings about her and wilbur’s friendship.)
it’s a pretty general conclusion that wilbur’s real “downfall” began on october 8th, during the stream “who are you go away”. of course, his spiral and the process of him losing faith had begun much earlier, more around the end of the first war or during the election. but the big switch, so to say, was definitely here, when as wilbur walks back from schlatt’s announcement, he asks tommy if they’re the bad guys.
this entire scene was so interesting to me. wilbur here is a man who has lost hope, someone who is backed into a corner morally and has nothing left. he points out that they can never really reclaim l’manburg without forever tainting it, and that schlatt knows this. the entire half an hour or so before, schlatt has been taunting wilbur about losing that power. the emphasis of the festival on “democracy” is so clearly a barb thrown at wilbur, and it works.
wilbur’s “nothing left to lose” in this vod is a mirror to niki’s “you know what they say about a woman who has nothing left to lose”. this will not be the first time they mirror each other.
basically, wilbur’s angry. when schlatt announced the festival, wilbur realized that maybe it wasn’t a terrible thing. so once he worked around into the mindset of “we’re the bad guys”, he was able to justify saying he was going to blow up the nation with no remorse. he wants chaos! he wants no survivors!
does he do it? god no.
during the streams leading up to november 16th, wilbur is consistently scared. he goes back and forth on it, and makes multiple “conditions” that determine whether he’s going to do it or not, almost begging someone to stop him. he whispers to himself that he’s scared, that his hands are shaking, that he’s not sure if it’s the right thing to do. because despite what he says about “not caring about any of them”, the instant niki is threatened after tubbo’s death, wilbur walks up to schlatt and tells him that if he’s going to kill anyone it should be him. later, when quackity and tommy talk him down from pressing the button, he can’t press it because they’re there and he can’t bring himself to kill them as well.
but he has no problems with putting his own life at risk. he refuses to wear armor half the time, and actively places himself in harm’s way to save others. he still cares about everyone else, as much as he says he doesn’t. even when he does cause harm to others, during november 16th, he immediately begs phil to kill him. “look, they all want you to.” he can’t live with what he’s done, and how he’s hurt people, but he couldn’t allow manburg to continue.
the man is terrified and angry and he can’t win. and even as he tries to stuff himself into the mind of someone who doesn’t care, he cannot. when he finally does, he cannot live with being that person.
but the reason i rewatched this arc was to see niki’s point of view, especially after her statements during her last stream. i genuinely think that wilbur’s only betrayal of her was pressing the button, because he betrayed everyone. they might have known he was going to do it, but they had faith he wouldn’t.
wilbur cared a lot about niki. her life under schlatt was awful, wilbur hated that she was suffering, and the scene where wilbur plants himself directly in the center of the festival and tells schlatt to kill him instead hits pretty hard. he has the argument with schlatt, and then turns to niki and tells her to run. he then hits people and sprints away, trying to give her time to escape.
this is also when he asks her to join pogtopia, because now that schlatt has said he’d kill her, it’s a safer place for her.
so the man did care about her. niki is angry at the memory of him that she has. it’s been twisted by time and her own grief and paranoia.
in rewatching pogtopia, i realized that a lot of people hate the memory of wilbur. not him, and what he did. they think he didn’t care. and to quote hamilton (apologies):
“history obliteratesit paints me in all my mistakes”
does niki have a right to be mad at him? absolutely. he caused direct harm to her by blowing up l’manburg, once it was reclaimed. but she’s wrong that he never cared.
(an interesting note: wilbur only blows it up after techno starts fighting people outside. he hears it, and says “look, they’re fighting”. he didn’t re-initiate the conflict of the country. the fact that even after peace was won people were fighting just gave evidence to his belief that the entire country was corrupted.)
niki has been hurt a lot, and wilbur has things to answer for. but we as the audience know that her statements are just her perception. she is a character who acts on perceptions. the entire stream was in black and white. during doomsday, upon seeing wilbur log on (as ghostbur), niki has a panic attack and destroys her bakery, trying to rid herself of the pain of the memories. her lines during this stream are chilling, whispered repetitions that are a mirror of wilbur’s end.
(paraphrased, it was long and confusing but there are a few bits and this was the essence of it)
“wilbur is gone. this isn’t happening. he is dead. l’manburg is gone.”“it is real, i am real, he is real and he is dead.”“l’manburg is gone, i am real, i am l’manburg”.
(god. dude i could spend Months analyzing this one stream alone. there’s so much here.)
doesn’t that sound a bit like “my unfinished symphony”? wilbur and niki both attach their own self to the nation they fought for, and can see it as an extension of themself. they both destroy parts of it in acts of fear, attempting to save everyone else from what they’ve made.
what i pulled away from niki’s stream is that she’s not healing. i remember the chamber she locks herself in at night. i remember her refusal to eat. i remember how she was so angry at tommy, and she later realized that anger was misguided. niki genuinely believes that wilbur did not care about her, and that’s not surprising: when he died, she denied the fact that he was gone. she represses the things that she can’t handle, same as lots of other people. it is easier for her to pin her hurt on wilbur, because she needs somewhere to pin it. people feel more in control if they’re angry, not sad.
the song cc!niki said was for her character really emphasizes this. it’s a coping mechanism.
but even condemning wilbur won’t help, because she will still never get closure. niki cares about what others think of her, and so she can’t move on from someone hurting her. she can’t move on because she thinks he hated her. she is angry that he is back, but it is an opportunity for her to heal. she couldn’t heal when he was gone. she’s not the only one with a negative perception of wilbur, after all. he has one too. the two of them really need to talk.
i want niki to be healthy and safe. i want to see her heal so badly, and i do think it will happen. after wilbur died, his betrayal of her stayed with her, and it eventually became her memory of the betrayal that she hated, not the thing itself. it’s been months since it happened. niki wants to find an outlet for her hurt, because she wants to feel better. there’s a pattern i noticed: she only gets mad at people once she hasn’t seen the person themself for a while. and once she sees them and talks to them, and realizes that they care about her and don’t want to hurt her, she stops blaming them for it. she only hates her perception of them. example one? tommy.
man was in exile for a long time, and when he came back he “brought” fighting. that’s how niki saw it. but the fact that after she spent time with tommy (trying to kill him but. details, details) she forgave him because she saw it wasn’t his fault is a really good sign.
i genuinely think that speaking to wilbur will help niki, and it will also help wilbur. after all, they both hate wilbur. the entire perception of wilbur as some heartless, crazy manipulator needs to be shattered for both of their sakes. they both buy into it.
i want niki to know that others care about her, and that she has places she can feel safe. she hates that wilbur is invading the syndicate, because she’s scared of his memory hurting her. i don’t think wilbur will hurt her on purpose, because even though he sees himself as awful, he doesn’t hate her. he never did. usually, with people who have hurt someone else, i want them as far away from the person they hurt as possible. if wilbur does hurt niki i’ll probably cry. but again, it’s not him that hated her, or really him that hurt her in the way she thinks he did. when wilbur was dead, niki didn’t get any better. her memory of him festered and made her feel worse. that’s also why niki killing wilbur or hurting him somehow wouldn’t help her heal. i want wilbur to explain that he didn’t hate her. is wilbur even close to self aware enough to help niki? nah. this is going to take a Long time, and it’s going to hurt.
last thing i swear lol
during niki’s stream, she says that wilbur manipulated her. again, i watched pogtopia last night, and i’ve watched the rest of season one recently as well. i genuinely don’t see it. but i do think i know why she said it.
during season one, wilbur doesn’t manipulate niki. he doesn’t have a chance to later, he’s dead. so then, what is she talking about? of course it’s a perception, same as a lot of her other claims. i think she’s talking about how she cared for l’manburg.
niki joined the server as wilbur’s friend, to join his nation. she grew to care for l’manburg. she devoted herself to it, same as he did. but doomsday showed us that she hates that. in niki’s eyes, l’manburg only brought pain for people, and because she ties herself to it, she hates that she ever cared about it. she can’t allow herself to care for it, because it was used to hurt. so how does she cope with knowing that she once did? she pretends she didn’t.
if she can convince herself that it was wilbur who convinced her to care about l’manburg, she can avoid blaming herself for her own pain. and yeah, she shouldn’t blame herself for it. it’s not her fault. the entire situation is tragic and a little hopeless and once again really makes me hope that she recovers. l’manburg was ruined for her by others. schlatt, techno, dream, wilbur. again another place where she and wilbur are similar: they convince themselves they never cared about l’manburg because of the hurt it caused.
to summarize: wilbur’s going to get a shock soon. don’t know when, but probably the prison visit. something is going to shake his perception, the story is hurtling towards that. once he is able to take responsibility for what he did, and feel safe (because a lot of what he does now is out of fear of being alone or useless), then he and niki need to talk. niki needs something to get her out of her own head. she’s spiraling too. they are essential to each other’s recovery because of how much they meant (and mean) to each other.
anyways i miss early season one niki i liked it when she was happy :(
~ Lad 2
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lysung · 3 years
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public enemy - lee minho
recently, minho's relationship with you, a non public person, got exposed with photos from your most recent dates coming out and, since then, things started to feel different, as if they weren't meant to be.
cw: mentions of hate comments and first stages of depression
genre: angsty fluff (?)
reader's gender: neutral! no pronouns used for the reader :)
words: 875
requests: open
a/n: so today is my 9th "monthversary" with my fiance (and yes, fiance 😌) and i usually write something for him every 30th, but i wanted to write something else and post here, too. i thought it'd be cool to put a little bit of what i feel about my relationship (because we've been though some rough stuff these past months) and mix up with all this dating/marriage/parenting "scandals" that have been coming out lately, so this one is slightly different from what i usually post. if you're one of this kind of fan who gets upset or even mad when one of your faves start dating, please read this and think about it. do you have the guts to say it on their face? do you think they would be happy with your reactions and behavior when they aren't even close to you? anyways. hope you enjoy this one too and please write something if you reblog 😭 i love to read your reactions and opinions!!! and yes, the title is a reference to the king, hanse from victon. i just couldn't think of anything better and couldn't make this one another timestamp lol anyways stream take over for clear skin ✨ and, once again, enjoy! now i'm going to sleep. thank you for your support again 🙏
---------------------------------
things had been rough lately. there were some positive and supportive comments on news and posts but, of course, the negative comments would get more attention from both of you. minho have been getting more and more hate comments on photos and videos, and you feel like you'll never get used to people staring at you and whispering to each other, as if you wouldn't know it's about you and most likely not anything good is coming from them.
your relationship wasn't exactly ruined by it - you were still close and happy with each other, just deep and clearly tired from this. you promised each other none of you wouldn't give up, and you repeated this moment endlessly to yourself as a friendly reminder whenever you felt blameful for everything he's going through.
but it didn't last long.
you two were cuddling on the sofa, watching a random movie, but you couldn't pay attention at all; nor to the movie, nor to minho. your head was filled with all the hate comments you read and heard, fans staring at you with anger filled in their eyes and, principally, what someone told you on your face earlier - "his whole career is ruined because of you". having him in your life was a relief, but life itself still felt painful. tears were quiet and slowly running through your face.
- hey, what's up? what happened? — minho noticed and you sighed deeply while wiping your tears.
- i-i'm just really tired today, you know? today felt longer than other day. i'll try to sleep a little——
- tell me. i know something happened. you can trust me, my love. did those people harass you again? — he cut you off, knowing "going to sleep" was just an excuse.
you hesitated for a while before telling him with details about everything, from the comments to your feelings, until you managed to hold your tears completely.
- sometimes i feel like we don't deserve each other. like... you're lee minho. lee know. you have a whole career and i'm just a nobody who's ruining it bit by bit every day. if i didn't exist in your life, you wouldn't be going through this, people would still love and support you endlessly and you would still be happy. i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. — you sighed again, your eyes lifeless and avoiding his gaze, not having any energy left to keep yourself up, nor crying anymore.
- babe... first of all, i am sorry for not being able to do much and just watch you going though all this. now... don't say that we don't deserve each other again. don't put yourself down for not being a public figure either. — he started calmly, making you look at him in the eyes. — if you didn't exist in my life, i wouldn't be half as happy as i am today because of you. i would still think i don't deserve to be truly loved. if i didn't have you, i would still feel the emptiness that only you could fulfill. i need you in my life.
at that moment, all the tears you held back just made their way down your face again and you didn't have any strenght to stop them again.
- look, we promised not to give up on each other, right? i'm keeping my word. you know, i'm dating you, not the public. you're not ruining my career at all, they are. my fans do make my happy but, at the end of the day, it's your love and attention that i actually need, even if i don't have any fan left. i will never stop fighting for you. i'm gonna say it again if you need; i'm not giving up on us. not even because of them. i will do anything for you.
you bawled your eyes out and held him tight. you just knew it's him. it had always been him and will always be.
- i love you so much, my prince...
- i love you too, angel. forever.
♡♡♡
in the following days, things had changed. minho went live just to talk about this and his "fans’" harassment. he said everything was needed for this situation to calm down bit by bit. of course people would talk about this live endlessly for days - some thought he was being rude because of his tone, but most of them applauded him and kept sending the video's link as a response to any senseless comment on him or you two. he was only slightly punished for this, since it had brought him and the group attention and now you could barely find any hate comment.
once again, you couldn't be any happier and satisfied with life while being next to minho. loving him was the best choice you've ever made, and nothing is going to change this; not even hate comments from people who think they own others who don't even know them.
you promised yourself not to bring yourself down like this again, and to open up more often about your feelings. your hero, lee minho, will definitely know what to do to change it and make you happy again.
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mythicalninjas · 3 years
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For all the boys: an S/O who’s good at singing but is really really shy about it? Like, they just freeze up and will not sing If they notice that anyone is hearing them.
A/N: First request I’ve ever received... Thank you, nonnie! ❤️I’m gonna write as a headcanon separately for each of them, hope you don’t mind. I’m a bit nervous with the result, but hope you like it! (As always I let my imagination go further and I choose songs for each scenario lol). Also I advise you to keep an eye here in my blog ‘cause I’ll post the others boy’s part soon! 
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Leo:
you don't like singing when someone is around
you literaly don't like it...
but you freak love singing
you’re alone in Leo's room observing innumerable old books he has on his bookshelf while a random song leaves your mouth graciously, the beautiful melody echoing through the comfort space
all of it started this morning when you were having your breakfast and ''Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey'' got stuck in your mind when it was playing on TV 
“Hot summer nights, mid-July, when you and I were forever wild [...]”
you kept on singing 
then sudden a chill ran down your spine
weird...
instinctively you turned your head towards the door slowly
and saw him there standing with his arms crossed in front of him, smirking at you
“continue, love. I wanna hear more of your beautiful voice”
you couldn’t move
“I-I... No.” Noticing the unexpected coldness in your voice you immediately say ‘‘Actually I don’t... like... singing when someone esle is near, ya know...”
you blush
Leo smiled and walks towards you
“My love, listening to you singing is... marvelous!” He caress your cheek and bowed his head towards your face ‘‘Sing for me...”
this handsome knows exactly how to convice you
you couldn’t help but smile
“Okaaay, but with a condition” you lift your finger and boop his nose “I’ll sing just when we are alone” you whispered
Leo signed to you to go to his bed while he close the door 
and locked it
“Show me your secret skill, my sweetheart.” he murmued
you sat up on his bed and he did the same, besides you
he took your hand softly and pulls you closer to him
"Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? [...]"
you caress his cheek
"I know you will. I know you will. I know that you wiiiiiillll. Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?"
"I will always love you, Y/N..."
"And I always will love you too"
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Raph:
"You see a light's about to break and every cell is gonna to change just hold on, gonna make it through..."
Raph stopped, suddenly hearing a beautiful voice singing
And he found out that it's your voice coming from inside the Tartaruga Brothers truck
Are the others listening to you as well?
He looked around but noticed that he is alone.
He followed your voice, listening carefully the words and the way you sing
You look sad...
He walked a bit faster to get on the truck
"I know you feel that it's too late that all these chains have you enslaved just hang on gonna see the truth. Let there be light."
"Y/N?"
You're sit on a mini sofa inside the truck in a fetal position
"Oh..." You got shocked "Hi, big red..." You said with a weak smile, trying to hide your shyness
He could feel that you're not okay but he doesn't want to push you under pressure
"I heard you out there. You... Have a wonderful voice"
You blush, hiding your face on your knees
"Really?..."
"Yes! Why? Are you... Shy?"
You nodded "I don't feel comfortable when someone see me singing"
"Aw sweetheart" he landed his massive hand on your back and carefully lift your head towards him with his finger "I have no words to explain of how beautiful your voice is, Y/N. You don't need to feel shy."
So, the brute noticed something even more "worse" about you
He could see that your eyes are red
"Love, something is bother you, and it is not just about singing in public. Were you crying?" He whispered
You buried your face in his hard chest
"No, I wasn't, love. I just had a- hard day. When I get sad I sing to try to calm me down. Just it."
Raph stoke your hair softly "Are ya sure is just it? Love, ya should have told me, love. I got worried"
"Sorry, love. Sometimes I can't take it"
"It's okay. Now..." He pulls you away slowly "how about you sing a happy song? I wanna see you smiling, sweetheart"
You froze
"I'm not sure..."
"Come on. If you don't sing, I will"
You immediately got up and waved your hands negatively "No, no, no, no, no!"
He smirked. He knows exactly that you secretly don't like him signing.
He can't sing very well
"Okay, okay, I sing. But just for you!"
He chuckled "Okay. Then..." He tapped his lap, mentioning you to sit
"So..." You breath
"Go on, love." He smirked "Let me hear you"
That sounded odd
You both spent a few hours there, enjoying the moment
Gonna post Donnie and Mikey's part soon!💚
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solomonish · 3 years
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Solomon Headcanons
I didn’t like my old headcanons for him and I think I have a slightly better feel for him so I’m posting these bad boys. Maybe at this rate I’ll just post Solomon HCs every month 
Also this turned into more of a “I’m going to talk about Solomon in depth and maybe throw in one headcanon about kissing him” and is no longer “lol what kind of dates do you go on? <3″ so uh. do with that what you will. It’s also SUPER LONG (or feels that way) so make sure you have a hot second to read them
you can find my for real headcanons for him here but I don’t necessarily stand by them anymore? They’re just there for fun now lol
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Solomon’s Relationship With Relationships
Solomon has been alive for...a long time, and with that naturally comes a lot of experiences, negative and positive. It’s also natural that it would also have him break out of traditional structures regarding...everything, but especially things regarding relationships and specific other people.
(Not to get sociological or philosophical about society or whatever, but the way we view everything is accented heavily by the end. With exceptions, and this certainly varies from culture to culture, but as a general idea, we view things expecting them to take place over the span of 70-100 years. Certain positions in politics or business or something try to look at things generationally, but how capable of that are we and how far ahead can we truly see?)
(What I mean to say is that immortality naturally shifts the entire context in which you would view things that were expected to be “lifelong.” What once existed to enrich a life is now a tether to a system that doesn’t necessarily suit his existence.)
Psychologically, however.....I don’t think Solomon has tried to (or even can) rewire himself entirely to the point where he doesn’t feel love. He’s already got a fondness for Simeon and Luke (always crying about him calling them “dear friends” in the circus event i don’t know if he says anything in the lessons because i’m only on like 21 LOL) so he’s clearly capable of fondness and affection.
Not that those should equate exactly to romantic feelings (because they shouldn’t), but there’s undeniable similarities between platonic and romantic affection and, for the purposes of speculating about an immortal’s capability to still feel both, I think they can be equated in this regard.
There are a lot of assumptions I’m making about him to make this post, namely the following: that there is still reconciling to be done internally between his immortality and humanity, that Solomon’s composed and confident nature is a bit of a front (only a bit - I’ll explain more later), and, related to these two, that he even cares about humanity and that he still wants to preserve his humanity.
While this might be my perspective as a regular human, I really don’t believe that the desire to be human and fully encompass what that means has left. If anything, I think his intrinsic desire for knowledge and power stems from it, and he’s just suppressed the “mushier” emotional parts of that as a sort of....defense mechanism, if you will.
SO the tl;dr of this is that you know how alloromantic people just like feel in love and they get their romantic crushes and it’s natural and they can’t control it? Solomon gets that! He just isn’t the type to swoon over someone or really make it known.
He also as a person is big on being manipulative shady and in control, so if he were to just be super obvious about having a crush on someone and not being able to do anything about it, that would sort of tarnish his whole image.
So yeah, I think Solomon just has his emotions on a tight leash when they probe to be out of control. Clearly, he doesn’t have every part of him under this sort of watchful eye (whether that’s because he still wants to feel genuine happiness or he knows if he came across as emotionless and calculated people would trust him even less, I haven’t decided), but those that cause trouble stay behind locked doors.
Additionally, I don’t think Solomon is opposed to falling in love. I’d bet he’s had lots of different partners over the years and remembers them fondly (you know, assuming they ended well)
I also think his immortal status makes dating different? I feel like doesn’t really date to find a life partner because. well. (gestures).
That’s not to say that he doesn’t date casually sometimes or something. In the terms of a serious romantic partnership, though, it’s rare that it happens because he knows that it’ll die with them (and stay within him for probably forever, even if/when there comes a day he can no longer remember their name or their face).
Another assumption I’m making that I forgot to mention: I think it’s rare that Solomon’s serious, long-term partners know the true extent of the magic he dabbles in. Maybe he lets them know it’s real magic, or he pretends it’s all show magic and parlor tricks. Sometimes he pretends his pact marks are tattoos, sometimes he tells the truth. If ever these confessions are laughed off, he laughs them off too and creates a cover story.
He doesn’t intend to lie, but it’s very difficult to meet someone and explain........all of THAT. On which date to you mention that you can control 72 demons? Do you send a card explaining how you’ve been alive since Biblical times and you’re not even sure if you birthday is your real birthday anymore, let alone how old you are? And should that card be store bought or homemade?
So while it’s rare for Solomon to have a serious romantic partnership, it’s even more rare for him to be entirely understood or accepted for EVERYTHING that he is because he can’t get into it. Arguably, that hasn’t happened since his “death” in his original timeline.
A crush for Solomon isn’t a hopeless affair, either. Should you choose someone else, he’ll allow himself the disappointment and move on.
With Solomon, romantic love sparks naturally, but genuine true love isn’t some all-powerful, unstoppable force. He falls more in line with the people who believe it’s a choice and a decision, somewhere between “it’s purely a biological impulse we just gave a fancy name” and “it’s the magic that makes life more enjoyable”
With MC
In the case of MC, however, I think he might initially see it as bothersome or a hinderance to whatever his plan is with being down there for the exchange program. Maybe he convinces himself he’s just naturally attracted to you because you’re human like him. Once he comes to terms with his feelings and gets to know MC a bit more, he might even see it as a lost cause seeing as you already have several of the brothers vying for your affections.
For Solomon to act on a crush that he’s already decided is hopeless, it’ll be up to the MC to show that THEY are interested in HIM
He finds no particular pleasure in being someone who is chased after or “playing hard to get,” but he already has a complicated relationship with complicated relationships. He’s gonna need a down payment of affection a sign that there’s anything even there to pursue 
Traditional flirting, while he’ll have his fun with it (and probably enjoy it at least a little - who doesn’t like feeling desirable?), doesn’t really work for him. Lots of people and creatures have used it to try and charm him, plus he has a pact with Asmo, so at this point he really sees it as more casual fun then an indication of true interest.
Honestly, to get him to realize “oh shit I actually have a chance,” you’re going to have to do two main things: 1) make him feel chosen over the others, and 2) respond to his displays of affection
Making Him Feel Chosen
This isn’t really a competition thing, or some selfish hoarding of your time. The thing is, Solomon knows he isn’t the only one in the running and he knows that anything he has to offer, somebody else could give you a portion of it.
(You won’t get the same experience or combination of traits with somebody else obvi, but with 11 suitors and an added chihuahua, there tends to be a little bit of overlap with everyone)
A crush for Solomon is a romantic interest, but if he intends on pursuing a serious relationship (which, I feel, is what he intends to be the final goal of his crushes as opposed to more casual affairs), he needs to see SOME reciprocation
Being with him is an ordeal, maybe a lifelong one for you, so he needs that assurance that it’ll be worth it and there aren’t better avenues
Basically, this means that ✨ quality time ✨ is of the utmost importance
At first, it doesn’t have to be anything big. Sit with him at lunch when you see him in the cafeteria, meet him in the library while you wait for your demon escort to be finished with their extracurriculars, chat him up in the one class you have together (and then ask him to help you study what you missed in class by talking. it’s a required transfer class but you already know everything about it, right, Solomon? 🥺)
As your relationship progresses, that’s when things start to get harder. Invite him out to things that you think he’ll enjoy, and say yes to as many excursions with him as you can. Bonus points for making it clear that you want to go when you’re unable to attend. 
(He finds himself a little embarrassed how happy it makes him when instead of just a “no” or a “sorry, not today” he gets something like “I’m on dinner duty so I have to spend that time preparing :( but we should definitely make a date so you can tell me about it later!” It makes him feel like a priority.)
It isn’t until you find yourself comfortable enough to ask him to accompany you to something you want to do that he starts to realize you’re hanging out with him for him and not because he’s just offering up a bunch of fun new experiences for you to try.
You don’t even have to say “hey, i’m pretty sure you know all about the birds in the Devildom aviary but I haven’t had a chance to go and would really like to spend the day with you. Wanna come with?” If it’s something that he knows you know isn’t in his wheelhouse, he’ll be able to figure out that OH.....you’re inviting him for HIM.....oh
Make him feel like a priority, like he’s the one that you want, even out of all your choices. You can be as enthralled by the birds in that aviary as you want, just as long as you make it clear that your enthusiasm to be with him is on the same level and he’ll finally kick himself into gear.
Responding to His Affections
Now, you don’t have to do anything you don’t like. I hear in his dame card devilgram he’s a consent king, and he stands by that every day of the week
He also isn’t the type to need an exact equal to everything he does. Yes a relationship is a two way street, but this isn’t saying that if he gets you a gift you need to present him something with equal or greater value within the next 24 hours. he’s not mammon haha i’m so FUNNY
Just...let him know that he’s doing things right. His serious relationships are few and far between and people change as often as the times do, so make sure that he knows what he’s doing is landing. He’s not insecure per se, but he would like to know that he isn’t making a fool of himself entirely, you know?
Don’t brush him off in front of the brothers or he’ll think he’s read the situation all wrong and you’re back to square one. If you do it because you don’t like touching and he put an arm around your shoulder or something, that’s fine, but if he thinks you’re uncomfortable being with him in front of the brothers he’ll wonder if you even liked him at all.
To him, a secret relationship isn’t really feasible. First of all, those brothers are ALWAYS in your business so bold of you to think you’ll have ANY secrets by the time the exchange program is done, and secondly, don’t you both have enough on your plate that you shouldn’t make something that makes you happy needlessly complicated?
He is an odd case and knows there’s a lot that comes with him, so if you’re uncomfortable simply showing that you’re in a relationship and reciprocating, he’ll think you aren’t equipped to handle.....All That.
In case you haven’t noticed, he’s weird. He’s a weirdo. He doesn’t fit in. And he doesn’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen him without that stupid cape on? That's weird.
If you respond to his affections in a similar way, such as putting you arm around his waist or a hand on his back when he puts an arm around your shoulder or reaching up to fix his hair when he reaches to mess with yours, it’ll make him happy for sure. He doesn’t have any specific expectations for you but he’ll like to feel like you’re on the same wavelength.
A lot of his affections are morphed into specific and targeted teasing (but not like *gently bullies u* teasing). It’s a lot of inside jokes at your expense (and the more inside jokes he has, the more he probably likes you)
It’s also a lot of messing up your hair, sharp pokes and frustrating games like “guess what?” “i don’t know, what?” “i told you to guess, MC.” “ugh...you won the lottery” “guess better” “please don’t do this to me Solomon”
He probably responds best to Acts of Service and Quality Time (though at any stage in the relationship he’s a flexible man). While he’s trying to woo you to solidify his spot in first place against everyone else, if you continue to make the effort to be around him or like. recognize he’s taking time out of his day to romance you and do something for him in return he’ll cement the fact that oh yeah, this is happening between the two of you
(not to say that romancing you is a chore, because it’s not, but man if it doesn’t make him happy that you’re wanting to make his life easier on him so he can pursue the other things he enjoys, too.)
What a Relationship with Solomon is Like
He isn’t the biggest person on PDA, or at least not on purpose. He won’t see you and immediately be like ‘oh there they are i need to kiss them kiss kiss kiss’ or whatever, but he’s not averse to it?
He doesn’t want physical affection to be a big deal, or at least not in public. unless that’s what you’re into ;) If the two of you are out and about and you kiss his hand, or you’re a generally physically affectionate person he’ll smile and respond and be generally unbothered by it, but don’t expect him to ever really have the desire to like make out in public or something. Really, you probably won’t get much more than a quick kiss because he DOES always have other things on his mind.
You will NOT be able to get out of him messing with you. If you need him to tone it down that’s fine, but the more you let him get away with, the less energy he’ll have to redirect into other troublemaking activities
Has a weird thing with licking too probably? like he’s not gross about it and it’s not like a NSFW fixation but he’ll do that mom thing where he licks his thumb because “you’ve got something on your cheek” and then reveal that he’s a LIAR
or he’ll put his face really close to yours and stick his tongue out when you turn your head so it hits your cheek
it just gets such a DRAMATIC reaction out of you so that’s why he does it? if you ask him genuinely to stop he will but if you comment on it he’ll just give you a small smile and not say anything then continue to do it
when he messes with you, it’s ok if you say he’s doing something weird but don’t make him feel childish. setting boundaries (and making regular observations - he is kinda weird) is more than alright but admonishing him just feels......off and will turn him sour for a bit
VERY appreciative of someone who supports his adventurous side. Also fond of someone who’s happy to tag along but knows that some things he has to do on his own.
Even if you don’t want to go, he’ll appreciate the support or the interest you show in what he does. Ask him where he’s going and what he’s doing there, but ask him because you’re interested and not because you’re overly worried.
Please be there for him when he gets back to talk about it. He really likes feeling important or cool when he tells his tales, even if all he did was go and catch a few magic salamanders or something.
PLEASE be a soundboard for all of his ideas. He knows that sometimes he’ll talk about things that are way over your head that he hasn’t learned yet, but he really does want your undivided attention. It doesn’t matter if you’re encouraging him, debating with him, telling him the idea is stupid (though don’t pull this one too often unless you intend to ask to be let in to the fun) or just watching in confusion. It’s important to him that you value what he has to say, and he hopes one day that he’ll be able to tell you anything and you’ll have a response to it all. (Even if you don’t learn magic to the degree he knows it, he hopes you’ll get to a point where you understand what he wants, even if you don’t know what magical elements he’s talking about or something.)
A relationship with Solomon is one where you’re both independent, but also can’t imagine not going to the other at the end of the day. It’s startling how quickly you become constant in the other’s life despite being in COMPLETELY different stages of magical development and learning about the demon world.
The relationship will be lots of fun, but there will be many serious moments, too. 
They’ll happen randomly. Maybe something from a class or a spell reminds him of something from his past, or maybe he’s reminded that he can’t remember so many things that he knows were important to him.
Sometimes, his Tuesday night blues will feel like a life-changing existential crises for you, but please, do what you can to be there for him in these moments. It worries him how much love and happiness he’s lost, especially when he knows he promised to remember it.
Once you get him to think aloud, he’ll say super heavy stuff life “What if I’ve forgotten who I really am and now I’m just something other people and magic have morphed me into?” or “When will the human race evolve or go extinct and leave me behind?” and it fucks you up, really. It fucks him up too
But please be patient with him, because there’s something important he has to get off his chest eventually. He’s worried already that he’ll forget you the way he’s probably forgotten so many others, but he doesn’t want to offend you and know that saying it would come off as uncaring.
You won’t have an answer for these moments, and he knows it. It’ll be best if you just hold him tight, stroke his hair if you’re laying down, and reassure him that you don’t care.
With how long he’s been alive, you’ll have to get past caring if you’re his “one true love” because he doesn’t have that. He gave up the right to having a one true love in exchange for never-ending life. But he still loves and he does love deeply, it just has a lot to cut through to properly be articulated.
So tell him. Tell him you know he’s had other loves, that you know you might not even be the best partner suited to him that he’s had. Tell him that you know when your time has come, he’ll find someone else eventually.
Tell him that what matters to you is that he loves you now, that he’s making things work with you now, and that he isn’t secretly yearning for some lover that’s come to pass or yet to come when he’s with you.
You can’t control what happened in the past or what happens in the future, but right now he’s yours and you’re his and he needs to learn to take things one lifetime at a time. Right now is YOUR Solomon time, and what happens after is just a consequence of time and you’ve already forgiven him for it.
instead of “mom says it’s my turn on the xbox” it’s “god says it’s MY turn on the Solomon”
send that to him for real and he’ll probably never forget you lol
How to Make a Relationship with Solomon Work
With all this in mind, the key to a good relationship with Solomon is keeping his head on his shoulders.
He’s ambitious, powerful, scary smart, and capable of so much more than you can even guess and he knows it. It’ll be good for him to have somebody to keep him on the ground.
Now, don’t be overbearing. If you try to stop him from going places or try to hinder his pursuit of knowledge out of fear for his safety, that’ll cause unbelievable strain on him. You will have to learn to let him work his things out the way he wants to, and it won’t always be the safest or most responsible way either.
He doesn’t mind a gentle scolding if he gets hurt. He won’t say it, but he kinda likes to be reminded how important he is to you.
Also be down to have fun and be a little reckless. Your safety will always be a priority to him, but nobody ever got anywhere without a little struggle, right? Sometimes adventuring with him and following him into the darkest magical corners of the world will require multiple (sometime literal) leaps of faith, but he’ll always be there to catch you.
Let Solomon work for you and the relationship, and you work to keep him sane and remind him that he can belong somewhere, even when he’s been himself for who knows how long and nowhere ever really stays the same.
You’ll always have to remind Solomon that not everything revolves around magic and power. He’s not been mortal for some time, so he gets caught up in the heady and lofty topics and ideas. 
Remind him about the simple joys of just having fun and goofing off, that not every moment not spent on homework has to be spent on potions. Remind him (in the human world) how cool a sunset is, or convince him to go through a museum and pretend he’s seeing everything for the first time. 
As much as he lives for understanding the grand topics most people can only dream of beginning to grasp, remind him of the little things. Remind him of human indulgences that he’s abandoned. Get him back in touch with that part of himself.
Solomon as a character feels like he’d be really aloof, but he’s honestly extremely devoted to what he invests his time in. He shows this devotion in small ways that feel more like riddles sometimes, in the way he always comes back after a rather dangerous magical excursion, in the way he shortens his time away so he can get back to you, in the way he learns to quiet his mind so he can properly take care of you and what you need and strengthen your relationship.
One thing that I think is a hallmark of a relationship with him is that Solomon loves things that can teach him more about what he doesn’t know. You don’t need to be the smartest person on the planet, or have a specialized and thorough education in some bizarre topic, or come from somewhere entirely different than what he knows to keep his interest.
You are uniquely human, and you help teach him about himself, the one thing that he can never seem to properly grasp and understand the way he wants to.
More importantly, you are you, the one who made pacts with all seven demon lords, the one captured his heart and promised to take care of it when you could throw it away for anybody else.
And you are the only one who could say those words that he believes. Hopefully, you’ll believe him when he says them, too.
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