#sorry for the late response i meant to do this ages ago but then like Several things happened that took up their respective days
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Scar Tissue (Price x Trans Masc! Reader)
Contains: Tooth-rotting fluff, completely SFW, FTM reader intended but should be safe for masc leaning enbies too, 2nd person POV, reader has a singular double mastectomy scar as is very self conscious about it, ambiguous warm drink cuz I don’t like tea or coffee lol, \obnoxiously self indulgent in my opinion but I hope it resonates with others
A/n: Woof I’m nervous but I do really like how this turned out. It’s cute and it even made my partner blush despite him being cis lol also Price is your husband because it’s cute and I said so. Be gentle with this one, yeah?
Although this is safe for all ages, I ask minors please refrain from interacting with me and this post, and any other posts. This is a space for adults.
The night always made things tougher. Something about the quiet, the darkness, the otherwise calm atmosphere made it harder to chase away the more negative thoughts. Insecurities burned hot in the cold of night as you stood outside on the small veranda of your little English apartment in the crisp wintry air to try and chase them away. The rain had only just stopped pouring down in torrents. The sound of wet tires driving below you accompanied the familiar, gentle smell of rain. It was comforting. Not enough to dull the pain, unfortunately, but comforting still.
You didn’t pay attention to the time, doing so usually just stressed you out during these moments, so you hadn’t noticed how late it was until your husband had sidled up behind you with a warm mug he’d made just for you. He handed it to you silently. He learned a long time ago what being outside this long this late at night usually meant. He wrapped a warm arm around your chilled shoulders and gently pulled you against him. Finally, you started to slowly pull away from your negative thinking just long enough to quietly speak.
“Thank you,” was all you could manage, but Price didn’t mind. He knew that for you, your words carried more weight than they seemed on the surface.
He hummed in response, giving your shoulders a small squeeze to say ‘you’re welcome.’
“Doin’ alright?”
A playful glare was all your husband got in return. He was happy to see you at least still had the heart to joke a bit with him.
“Right. Stupid question. Sorry, love.”
Eventually, you’d take a sip from your mug. He always prepared your drinks to your preferences. It made your chest warm.
“Wanna talk about it?” He was looking at you now. That gentle expression always comforted you.
You shook your head and took another slow sip, “Just insecurities again. Nothing major, I’m fine.”
“That why you've been out here on the veranda staring out at nothing the past couple hours?”
You took another sip, electing to say nothing. You did make it extra noisy though, pulling a rumbling chuckle from Price’s chest in the process.
Eventually, he guided you inside. You were as cold as the dead when he’d gotten to you. He wanted to warm you up and, if you’d talk, he wanted to know what was wrong. Knowing it was an insecurity of yours narrowed it down, but not enough to pin it. He needed to know a bit more.
You sat on your small couch, Price quickly following you. He took your hand in his. The callouses that littered his palm and fingers were always grounding. You were certain if you were blindfolded and told to guess which hand belonged to him, you’d guess correctly without fail. You knew every dip and ridge in his skin like your own.
You’d finished your drink after a while. You sighed, leaning into your husband’s chest. His heartbeat never failed to help your mind quiet down a bit.
“Just my scar again…” you mumbled, lacing your fingers in with his.
He kissed his teeth, the clicking noise it made bringing you out of the beginning of another spiral, “What did I tell you ‘bout that, love? You know I think it’s perfect.”
“I know,” you said, tucking your head under his chin, “‘Fraid I don’t think the same way, is all.”
His free hand rose up to hold your head and he pressed a soft lingering kiss into your hair, “That’s why I’m here. To think that way for you. C’mon, then, on your back.”
You groaned, pretending your melancholy face hadn’t broken out into a small grin, as you were guided onto your back. Price hovered above you and lifted your shirt up to your collarbone, kissing slowly up your belly as he did so. His kisses finally reached the part of your chest you couldn’t feel anymore. The scar tissue had faded quite a bit, but it was still clearly visible. One straight line stretched across your ribcage. It was uneven, thicker in some places than others. When your clothes were on, you often forgot about it. But when they weren’t…
You couldn’t feel much of the kisses that your husband trailed across the scar. His beard would drag across the area around it, your body unsure if it tickled or itched, but you could only feel the pressure of his lips through the numb skin. Still, you looked down and watched as he worshiped the ugly line that ripped through your skin. It wasn’t neat, wasn’t typical, wasn’t the ideal, but Price always showed he never cared about that.
”It made you happy, yeah? All that matters, then,” is what he’d always say.
All those mean thoughts finally started to melt away as he continued to kiss along your chest, further up to your collarbone. He pulled your shirt down so he could kiss up your neck, across your jaw, and finally up to your mouth. You felt him grin against your lips. You suppressed an annoyed whine as he pulled away to look at you.
“Better?”
“A bit.”
“I can keep going.”
“Would you?”
You fell asleep on the couch with your shirt pulled up to your shoulders and Price’s lips against your scar.
#ftm reader#trans masc reader#masc nb reader#john price x reader#captain price x reader#price x reader#john price x male reader#john price x ftm reader#captain price x male reader#capitain price x ftm reader#price x male reader#price x ftm reader
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All Things End 1
Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of loss (death, miscarriage), and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Arvin Russell
Summary: Newly widowed, you take a job at the local grocer to make end's meet.
Part of the Backwoods AU
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
Your shoulders bangs and you falter, setting the bag of flour back on the flat. It’s been bothering you lately, mostly in the mornings. The joint burns when you raise your arm too far and there’s a knot right under your shoulder blade. You hold back a grunt and try again, heaving the heavy sack onto the shelf, a dusting puffing onto your apron.
You reach for the next but find it no easier. Before you can take the next, it’s lifted out of your grasp and easily placed on the stack. You look up at the man as he grins at you. You know him but everyone knows everyone around here.
You might know his name but you don’t know much of Arvin Russell. He’s younger than you, much younger. You knew his father when he was still around but he died years ago. Funny how those things go.
“Let me get this” he chimes and hauls another sack onto the shelf.
You stand straight, hands on your hips, “please, you don’t gotta… it’s my job.”
“They got a lady like you doing all this?” He asks as he tosses another like it’s nothing. Are they really that heavy or are you just getting weaker?
“Really, I can’t let you–” you grab the other end of the sack in his hands.
“I don’t mind,” he insists.
“That’s nice but my manager–”
“Ah, don’t worry about him,” he shrugs and a strand of his reddish hair droops down his forehead.
“Really, it’s fine,” you tug on the sack again.
“My mama taught me not to let a lady do the heavy lifting,” he argues.
“Well, I’m sure she meant the young pretty ones,” you wrestle away the bag and do you best not to teeter, “you’re nice but I gotta do this.”
He lingers, watching you, waiting for you to falter. You hold your breath as you ignore the fire in your shoulder. You’re embarrassed. When you were his age, it wouldn’t be a real task. He can’t understand the way the years eat away at you, though you suspect he understands some things.
“I didn’t know you worked here,” he says as he takes a can from the shelf, paying special attention to the baking powder label.
“Couple months ago…” you say vaguely.
“Mmm,” he nods and puts the can back, “I… awful what happened to your old man.”
“Yours too,” you counter and cringe, “sorry, I–”
“It’s okay, you get it,” he says, “never really goes away, does it?”
You shake your head, “not really.”
You drop the last bag on the shelf and huff. You wipe your hands on your apron and grab the dolly handle, pumping the flat up on the wheels. Arvin steps back to the other side of the shelf to clear your path.
“Thanks,” you steer past him.
“No problem,” he hums, “have a good one.”
You keep on, turning the flat towards the warehouse doors. You push through the swinging doors and leave it with the rest for Casey to load or unload. You roll your shoulder but it only makes it worse. You whimper and kick the doors open with your foot as you go back onto the floor.
There’s no hiding since you started at the grocery store. Every face is familiar, every eyes is judging, they all know who you are, and they all look at you with pity. The whispers are often louder than that.
‘Poor thing.’ ‘Did you hear how her husband went?’ ‘Never even had a child.’ ‘Never one that lived.’
Your grief makes for good gossip. You ignore their wagging tongues. You need money if you want to keep the house and what Ben left behind, isn’t enough to last. It’s the only thing left of him and you can’t let it go.
You go up to cash and take over at the till. Lynette puts her basket on the counter as she greets her in her crowlike voice. She’s the worst of them. Everyone knows she sits on her phone and makes her rounds, calling to gather intel like some mafioso.
“Did ya hear?” She beams, “Molly’s having a fifth.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful,” you put on a fake smile as you play minion.
“Don’t know yet if it’s a boy or a girl, though I think she’s got enough of both–” she suddenly covers her mouth, “oh, hon, I forgot, I’m so sorry–”
“Hm? What do you mean?” You hold back your agitation.
Of course it wasn’t an accident. She’s needling for something. She wants to see you crack. Life hasn’t been kind but you’re just fine with it. You’re getting on.
“It’s just… I know it’s been hard and now… Benny’s gone…”
“Ben,” you correct her, unable to restrain that ounce of distaste, “it’s life.”
“Mmm, you have my sympathies,” she places her hand over her heart as you scan a dozen can of discount tuna. She must have a pantry full of Atlantic skipjack.
You grumble as you focus on your work. She won’t get much from you but you sure she’ll make something up. She’s got too much time for her own good. Her only hobby is talking. You read out her total and accept her check, tucking it under the drawer. Only your goodbye is genuine as you’re all too happy to see the back of her.
You look over as Arvin approaches. Unlike Lynette, he takes the items from his basket and sets them on the counter. You could sing just at the simple consideration. You ask him if he wants a bag as you start scanning.
“Should just need the one,” he says, “slow day?”
“Always is around here,” you shrug, wincing at the tug in your shoulder.
“Don’t mind, it’s my day off,” he smiles, “but I hope it goes by quickly for you.”
“Eh,” you mutter as you put a can of maple beans in the paper bag. Those were Ben’s favourite, you’d make him with sausage and a bit of your blueberry chutney. “Hope you’re not spending your whole day doing errands.”
“Just this,” he says brightly. You look at him as he beams, watching you with that grin. He’s polite, his father would be proud. “How much do I owe ya?”
You give him his total and he counts out bills from his wallet. You return his change and a receipt. He tucks them away as you go to grab his bag. He’s quicker, scooping it away before you can get it.
“I got it,” he says, “you take it easy.”
“Uh, thanks, have a good day,” you stand straight and your cheek ticks as a strike of lightning runs up the back of your neck.
“Shoulder won’t get any better if you don’t,” he tuts as he struts around the end of the counter.
You furrow your brow as you watch him go. He offers a small wave before he sets his sights to the exit. You turn back to the till and grip the edge of the counter. How did he know?
#arvin russell#dark arvin russell#dark!arvin russell#arvin russel x reader#drabble#backwoods au#au#series#all things end#the devil all the time
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The Village it Takes
pairings; Spencer Reid x Mom!reader (ft Daughter!oc)
Spencer fakes his death ( basically how Emily did) leaving you and your 11 year old daughter behind.
Content Warnings; angst, sadness, talks of death and grief.
a/n; Hiii, I am working on a taglist and how to make one for the future im so sorry im still fairly new to this.
wc; 1.0k [ first ]
Spencer was always better with her, you were her best friend but Spencer was her diary. He encouraged her to do things he knew he would never be able to do. She was so outgoing, thanks to you, even though he was shy Ronnie brought out another part of him. After he died everything changed for the household. It was harder for Ronnie to adjust specially as she’s approaching womanhood.
The two of you had argued almost everyday just for it to end with her breaking down in the end. You knew this was just her way of dealing with her father being taken from her. That didn’t make it any better for you though. Seeing Cameron like this was the hardest thing ever.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so mean mom.” She spoke after two hours of silently watching tv, “I just miss dad so much I want to scream. Some days it hurts to breathe and it makes me so angry. I miss him” she said randomly as you both watch tv together.
Thirteen was suppose to be a fun age where you begin to learn who you are or could be. Camerons chance was taking from her now she’s consumed with this grief. The same grief you were dealing with in your own way. It hurt you so much he was missing his beautiful creation grow up.
You pushed her glasses up off the bridge of her nose, “I know its so hard, I miss him so much it hurts to breathe but I have you and you have me, this is how we get through it.” Kissing her on the temple.
You pulled you daughter into your side rocking her until she fell asleep. You were both abruptly awoken by the sound of your phone ringing. A call from Aaron Hotchner, which wasnt rare but why was he calling so late? He said in a few words that you needed to head to the BAU.
You gathered your things wondering what in the world this could be about. You held Ronnie’s hand as you headed up to the office. Your heart was ponding reminding you of the last time you were here. You had came to clear out Spencer’s desk and collect his badge. You remembered it like it was yesterday. All the sad eyes watching you attempt to pick up the pieces of what was abruptly left behind.
“Do you think something bad happened again?” She asked squeezing your hand harder.
“I’m not sure Rons” you tried to reassures her also wondering the same thing. You all were led to the bullpen with Cameron opting to sit at her dads old desk. The room was filled with your husband family, Jennifer, Aaron, Emily, Penelope, Rossi, and Luke.
“As you all know Dr.Spencer Reid was pronounced dead three years ago.” Confusion spread across everyone’s face and Aaron continued, “Three years ago I made a decision to keep the identity of Dr. Reid and I take full responsibility.”
“What do you mean keep the identity of him a secret?” You asked still completely confused,
“Mr.Scratchs son was caught and killed by the fbi a few hours ago. Three years ago he couldn’t know Spencer was still alive and neither could any of you. Once again I say I take full responsibility” Your face cringing at the name of the man who caused you and your family so much pain.
Then it hit you Spencer was still alive?
“Aaron what are you fucking saying to me? That my husband is alive?” If this was true all those days spent talking to his grave meant nothing. The picnics or visits to the grave after Ronnies competitions were nothing. Spencer was walking this earth while you were here going through the worse pain in your life. Asking with glassy eyes, you were pulled out of your thoughts by Penelope head snapping toward the door.
“Oh my God” she said with tears falling from her blue eyes.
There he was Spencer Reid, the love of your life, the man that made you a mother, he’s alive after three years. He stood tall and a bit bigger with his long curly hair.
“Y/N I’m sorry, all of you really.” He walked in giving hugs to everyone in the room. You hadn’t even moved, you didn’t know rather to be happy or angry at him. For never saying anything for letting you believe he was gone.
“Y/N, can — can I hug you?” He asked sincerely not wanting to startle you. Before you could even think your hand was moving to slap him across the face, your angry completely took over.
“THREE YEARS SPENCER?!?, you left me and your own DAUGHTER and still slept at night?” You yelled causing the entire room to become silent. Spencer stood there with no response which only made you more upset.
“Say something! Say why you did? Just fucking give me a reason to put us through this” you were hitting him in the chest causing Hotch to grab you.
“YOU don’t fucking touch me!” You snapped toward him, the man that watched you break down silently after putting your daughter to bed every night. Aaron had been there for you and Cameron since he “died”.
Jack and Cameron were always friends before her dad passed and were even closer as time went on. Most of the time having Ron distracted helped you deal with your grief with Aaron by your side, he was one of your husband’s closest friends.
“Daddy?” You heard Ronnie’s voice from the door, you completely forgot you even brought her.
Everyone turned toward the teenage who stood tall just like her father. She was even wear their matching converse they decorated together. Spencer turned taking in his daughter, immediately regretting everything . She grew so tall and looked so mature, he missed it all.
“Cameron I’m so sorry honey, I never meant to hurt you sweetie” he didn’t move allowing her to feel whatever emotion she needed. Her eyes filled with tear with a small weep escaping her lips. Her breathing became uneven, she was gasping for air.
“Dad? You’re alive?” She asked grabbing her stomach looking for some sort of comfort.
“Yes, I’m here sweetie.” Spencer said walking toward Cameron causing her to step back while shaking her head.
“No, No, I—-I, Mama I can’t —-” she said falling to the floor, gasping for air. you pushed pass Spencer immediately hoping into mom mode. Spencer stood still unsure of what to do to help his own daughter. His heart shattering seeing the pain all of this has caused.
“Im right here baby, just keep following my breathing.” You told her as you sat on the floor with her, Emily coming to sit with her too.
“In and out” you guided her as her breathing evened out, “I’m right here with you love” you pulled her into a bear hug while looking back at Spencer.
You all got up from the floor as you headed toward the elevator with your daughter not saying a word to Spencer as he silently followed behind.
#bau x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid angst#spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds#spencer reid dad#spencer reid x single!mom reader#Spencer Reid x daughter#Spencer Reid x daughter!oc#Reid daughter#spencer reid x mom!reader#Spencer Reid x mom#criminal minds angst
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stray kids as dads 2
notes: female reader, and you're a married couple. all the children are the same age, these are just little extra scenarios :) i'm sorry if any of it seems rushed.
chan: you’re so thankful that chan has the week off. not only do you get to spend quality time with your loving husband, but you also get to focus on specific things around the house that you just couldn’t before with most of your attention on taime. today chan’s picking him up from school which gives you the chance to clean under the kitchen sink for the first time in a little while.
and that’s how you find out that you’re completely out of mopping solution, which is what you were planning on doing next. well.. you could just hop in your car and head to the supermarket a couple blocks down to get what you need… or you could just call chan who’s already out and ask him to pick it up.
“hey baby, what’s up?” chan hasn’t changed his nickname for you since you both started dating 10 years ago now. He almost sounds exactly the same.
“hi mama!!” a little voice calls in the background.
a smile spreads across your face. “hi boys! oh i miss both my boys so much!”
chan chuckles and asks,”did you call because you just miss us too much?”
you respond,”well yes but actually no. i need you to pick up some mopping solution from the store on your way back, please?”
“of course baby!” chan answers quickly and happily,” we love going on little side quests for our girl, don’t we taime?”
you hear taime excitedly agree from the backseat where he sits strapped in his carseat, and your heart grows just a little bit bigger. you just sit and listen as your boys talk excitedly about the little errand they’re running together.
"hey baby? do you want some i-c-e c-r-e-a-m? yeah i'll get some for us tonight- nothing son, don't worry about it."
minho: minho is the most reliable and responsible man you’ve known. and your errand run will only keep you out of the house for about an hour at most. how bad can they be?
that’s what you said to yourself, until you got back home that is.
various toys strewn about on the floor, which isn’t uncommon, but added to that mess, a bunch of little white feathers coming from a pillow that’s popped open, having stood no chance against the pillow fight of the century. you meant to toss that old pillow out but apparently forgot to do so.
your attention is pulled away from the scene by a soft meow coming from doongie. he has a little decorative hair tie wrapped around his tail, and of course a tiny pink lipstick mark on his forehead. you wonder if it’s too late to just slowly walk back out the door…
two pairs of gentle, twinkling eyes stare back at you from the couch, caught red-handed. you’ve always adored how jimin had her appa’s eyes. “looks like you two had fun while i was gone..”
“mommy!!” jimin says while running to you, pink paint still fresh on her fingertips.
you scoop her up in your arms, careful to not get any of the paint on yourself. “hi baby,” you say to her while gently wiping some crumbs from her last snack off of her face. minho continues watching you with a little hair tie slowly slipping out of his hair.
“i didn’t expect you to be back so soon,” he says,” um… i’ll clean this up.”
“i know you will,” you say as a matter of factly, and walk over to kiss his cheek. “thank you for watching her, honey. you’re a very good daddy.”
"honestly i don't know what happened, everything was just a blur of pink."
changbin: changbin is a strong man by every definition of the word, but when it comes to nari he’s an absolute pushover. that’s how the three of you ended up here, in a humble little pet shop.
you stroll through the few aisles lined with tanks full of little pets, from hamsters to chinchillas. you and changbin follow nari around, occasionally remarking to each other about how cute the animals are.
but once you come across the reptile section, changbin is notably less happy. poor thing. you don’t mind reptiles yourself, but changbin is more wary of them. as well as insects, bats, amphibians, fish, some species of bird, and basically anything that isn’t fluffy.
“daddy look!” nari suddenly says when she comes across the last case “lookit this one!” her hands are pressed to the glass, her eyes are filled with excitement.
hesitantly, changbin makes his way over to her and kneels to her height. “what is it, honey?”
a leopard gecko, that’s what. a young one judging by the size of it. it’s a cute little thing, napping on a rock in its enclosure. and changbin is looking at it like he’s staring death itself in the face. “that’s… very nice, sweetheart.”
“can i get it, daddy?” nari looks up at him with those excited eyes.
uh oh.
he can’t look away from her puppy eyes and within seconds, he caves. with a defeated sigh he says,” alright..”
you add,” it’s not a toy though, baby. so we all need to take very special care of him to keep him happy and healthy.” nari nods excitedly in agreement.
so here you are, heading to the front of the shop to find an employee for help. you glance at changbin and note his distraught face. fighting back a smile you say,” well, at least you’re not allergic to geckos.
"y/n i don't think you understand, this is scarier than when i was auditioning for jyp."
hyunjin: art has been a part of hyunjin’s life for years now. it adds meaning and emotion and thought. he’s tried many different types of media but found a safe place in painting. ocean landscapes, flowers, and you have been his favorite things to paint. but a new favorite has come along and that’s his dear joon.
you walk into the art room with a glass of plum juice and a small plate of rice snacks in hand, something to give hyunjin a bit of energy while he works. he’s adding a bit of color to a simple sketch of joon, regularly glancing over at her as she sleeps soundly in her cot that he put in the room for the time being.
“how’s it going darling?” you ask while placing the snacks on the desk next to him. you take a moment to glance at his work over his shoulder, and of course it looks amazing. you wouldn’t expect anything less.
he sniffs and brushes some hair out of his face with the back of his hand. somehow there’s specks of paint just on his nose. “it’s going well. she has such beautiful features to capture.”
“mmm…” you hum in agreement and place a kiss on his cheek.
hyunjin basks in the warmth of your affection. with a soft smile and adoring eyes he turns to look up at you. you smile back at him, so ready to just place another kiss but to his lips.
a loud cry fills the air.
you and hyunjin look at each other for a moment before chuckling together. hyunjin goes to pick up joon out of her cot, placing her safely in his arms where he bounces her gently in hopes to calm her down. he also gives her butt a little rhythmic pat.
you join them, reaching to brush joon’s fine hair out of her face. “i fear she’s going to be just as dramatic as you are, darling.”
"okay? you say that like it's a bad thing."
jisung: jisung got a lot of well-deserved sleep on his first day off from work, leaving him open to tons of fun activities today with his favorite little boy.
to start off the day, junseo has a healthy breakfast of juice, yogurt, and fruit slices while you and jisung agree on having the rest of last night’s leftovers. junseo’s face has a few lines of yogurt on it and his hands are sticky from the fruit. this is what happens when you let him feed himself as he insisted.
jisung looks at his boy and tries to stifle a laugh. “honey, look at him,” he says, his cheeks puffy with food,” isn’t he so cute?”
you laugh softly too and reach over with your napkin to wipe junseo off as thoroughly as you can before he wiggles away. “adorable,” you agree.
junseo looks back and forth between the two of you before flashing a big smile, chewed up fruit bits between the gaps of his baby teeth. normally you find chewed food disgusting (jisung makes sure to bother you with it at the worst possible times), but it’s just so cute when your baby boy does it with glee.
jisung doesn’t stifle his laugh this time around, and he reaches over to gently pinch junseo’s little cheek that closely resembles his own.
"the gene runs strong in the family. yes i am very proud of it, thank you for noticing."
felix: felix absolutely loves to swim, and he wanted theo to love it just as much. but due to his smaller than normal size theo can’t swim yet, so he has an iffy feeling about the water. felix tries his best to help him.
he fastens some floaties snugly to theo’s arms, encouraging him all the while. “you got this, teddy bear,” he says as you reach over to rub a bit more sun screen onto theo’s button nose.
“you won’t let me go, right daddy?” he looks up at felix with wide eyes.
“i won’t teddy, i promise.”
felix carefully steps into the plastic kid pool with theo on his hip, so that the water comes up slowly. theo keeps a firm grip on his daddy’s swim shirt, watching as the cool water reaches his elbows.
“you’re okay baby, you’re doing a great job,” you say with a smile as you watch them from your spot on the pool ladder.
theo looks at you nervously, then back at his daddy. felix smiles back at him,” how’re you doing son? do you like the feeling of the water? it’s nice when it’s so hot out, right?”
with the arm that isn’t holding theo against his hip, felix scoops a bit of water into the cupped hand and then lets it drip down his son’s head and back. theo blinks quickly, getting used to the odd feeling. that’s when you get an idea.
suddenly you splash water in their direction, soaking felix’s back but careful not to hit your son. he looks at you, theo looks up at him. you try but fail to hold back your growing smile. theo follows your example and smacks his hand into the water so that it sprays up, wetting felix even more.
the backyard fills with laughter.
"well... at least he's not afraid of touching the water anymore."
seungmin: you leave the room of the party a couple hours into it because you feel too drowsy to keep up the energy. the sound of belle singing and crayons on paper fade into the background as you reach the bedroom and find comfort in the bed’s soft blankets.
you expected to have a quick power nap on your own before joining your husband and daughter again, but just as you’re about to slip into sleep you feel the bed dip slightly.
“hi mama,” chin-sun whispers as she crawls under the blankets and snuggles into your side. sometimes you forget that she knows how to climb onto the ottoman which allows her to reach the bed.
“hi baby,” you mumble, holding her close to your chest. hopefully she just ends up napping with you.
the two of you lay together for a few minutes, and luckily chin-sun hasn’t gotten rowdy or anything. her breathing has started to even out. she must’ve been running out of energy too. you feel yourself start to drift off again.
then the bed dips again, this time behind you.
you don’t even open your eyes. you just lay still and feel the blankets adjust and a pair of strong, warm arms wrap around you securely. seungmin’s familiar scent is so comforting, his breathing relaxing. you crack your eyes open momentarily to see that the arm seungmin has wrapped around you reaches chin-sun.
he rubs little circles on her back with his thumb, slowing down gradually as he begins dozing off. his nose tickles a little as it presses into your hair. finally, with your family snuggled together, you can finally sleep.
"sleep well, my loves..."
jeongin: jeongin has always been the type to do what he calls “shopping therapy”. a new necklace or pair of shoes, a small lego set to put together, or even just a basket-full of his favorite snacks. and once haneul came along, he had an even better excuse to get all these fun things.
of course he doesn’t overspend, he is a responsible father after all. but not everything he gets is necessary perse. like the stuffed fox taking your son’s place in his stroller and the bright cartoonish butterfly painted on jeongin’s face. the sight catches you off guard as you walk up to them after being separated in the mall for a little while.
haneul is obviously following in his papa’s footsteps in becoming the biggest stuffie collector you’ve seen; you don’t even think this one will fit on his little bed with all the others. and the face painting.. you don’t know if this is random or completely expected to see.
“wow,” you say as you stand in front of them,” you two must’ve had a lot of fun, huh?”
haneul bounces in excitement, making it difficult for jeongin to keep his grip on his hand. “papa! ‘im papa!” he’s looking back and forth between you and the fox stuffie.
“ohhh,” you nod in understanding,” papa got that for you? that’s so nice hannie! and look at you, walking next to papa like a big boy.”
jeongin smiles at looks at you. “we stopped by a toy store on our way back, and well, i couldn’t just not get the fox for him.”
“and the butterfly?” “they were having free face painting today.” “ah.”
"so what if it was mostly children getting their faces painted? it's not a crime to have fun, y/n."
#original writing#kpop#positivity#safe space#aesthetic#sfw only#comfy#cozy#stray kids#skz#imagines#scenarios#headcanons#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids headcanons#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz headcanons#bang chan#lee know#changbin#hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#seungmin#jeongin
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A heart full of regret - Part 2 (William Nylander)
Part 1 is here
A/N - I’m going to start this off with an apology. I’ve been writing as a female reader insert but did have a specific picture of someone in my mind for the reader herself, in terms of physical traits etc. Looking back, I should have probably made this a William x OC story. I apologize if the body/hair/facial descriptions have made it difficult in any way to have the reader put some version of themselves into the story. I’m sort of learning as I go along.
I had planned to release this around the holidays but true to form, my personal responsibilities derail my escapism 😉
In this next part, there are some musician/song references to the late Shane MacGowan/The Pogues and Sinead O’Connor, as well as their respective funerals. I have included the lyrics to the chorus of a song entitled Fare Thee Well Love by The Rankin Family (posted in the next blub 2.1) - but it’s passed off as a song written and sung by the reader. While there are facts used as part of the story (including a couple of links to the reality), all of this is meant to be purely fictional.
Warnings - overall 18+ themes (various sexual references), angst, alcohol, swearing, cigarettes, brief mention of illness/death - sorry if I missed anything.
Word Count 10K+
Thanks so much as always for dropping by.
Early December, 2023
A wide grin spans your face as the broad man, with salt and pepper hair (more salt than pepper these days), approaches you.
“Hey handsome” you said cheekily followed with a wink, as he embraced you in a friendly hug. “I hope it’s still ok that I call you that….it’s the first thing that comes to mind every time I see you”.
“Best compliment I have had all day, next to my wife’s of course. How ya’ doin, kid?” Sheldon smiles at you as you step back from him. Sheldon has always called you “kid” despite him only being just shy of 13 years older than you.
“Well then, as long as Jackie doesn’t mind that I call you that either”,' you smile as you and Sheldon walk toward the players lounge. “I’m doing well…busy, but good.”
“Ah well, you know my wife - she just laughs and agrees with you…she says you obviously have immaculate taste” Sheldon quips.
You chuckle and give him a little nudge. “Yeah, well, in most cases I do”, you smile. “Dare I ask how you’re doing? I’m not asking about hockey…I just mean with the regular, normal-ish part of your life, if you even have that.”
“I need more normal these days than what I’ve been getting…but yeah, the kids and Jackie are all doing great. Thank God for them.”
You get the hint. The Leafs have been shaky out of the gate this season with inconsistent outcomes; it’s been like watching a pendulum swinging between pure magic and potential disaster.
You shoot Sheldon a knowing smile.
“Well, thanks for letting me stop by - I didn't like asking…I don’t want to ever be any kind of distraction, but I have something special to give Jake (McCabe) and Gaby wanted me to surprise him here after practice.”
“You gonna let me in on the secret?”
You lift the heavy coffee-table style book that you had been carrying along your side into view and run your hand over the smooth hard cover. Sheldon glances at the black and white photo of you spanning the surface. The photo was taken at one of your band's first sold out shows in Manchester back in 2010; you were just in your 18th year of life. Your long layered hair is tousled around your face; a cigarette dangles from your mouth.
“Yeah, I kinda love this. I’m so happy with how this turned out…the imagery and photography of all the guitars are amazing. We’re selling these books at the exhibit…it chronicles the collection of the guitars on display.”
You flip to a page showing a nickel and steel plated guitar from the 1930’s.
“I met Jake ages ago, back when he was on the Sabres. He and Gaby approached us after an acoustic show that we played. We just hit it off, all of us - Jake and I are both total guitar geeks and over time, he told me his dream was to have one of these nickel plated beauties. I said I had one that was rare which he totally flipped out about it - it’s this one in the picture”, you smile as you recount the conversation.
“Wow…it's really beautiful”, Sheldon leans over to take a closer look.
You continue your story, “So, I’m not sure - have you heard of Shane MacGowan?”
“Oh right, my brother became a huge fan when he moved to Belfast - Adam told me he passed. You knew him?”
“Our band has strong Irish connections with two of our members being from there; we met Shane and some of The Pogues a number of years ago. We managed to stay in touch - I was very fond of Shane, and he was of me. He was almost like a protective older uncle - know what I mean? He had a rough go with that illness since last year and so after Sinead (O’Connor) passed, I stayed behind after her funeral and spent some time visiting him in the hospital. My heart breaks every time I remember him in that hospital bed - I haven’t been able to get those images out of my mind yet.”
Your emotions were already still pretty raw with your idol-turned-friend passing in July, but with another passing of someone you held so dear just a few days ago, you could feel your throat tighten with sadness and loss.
You took a deep breath. “Anyway, Shane played the same type of guitar in a duet he sang with Sinead back in the ‘90’s. Long story short, he had his wife give me the one he used for that song. As much as I love the one I already owned here, Shane’s means a thousand times more to me. So…I thought I would surprise Jake and give him this one, knowing how much he would treasure it”.
Sheldon continues to leaf through the glossy pages. “Y/N, you are pretty remarkable, you know that?” Sheldon throws his arm around you while discreetly looking at his watch. “I’m sorry, I gotta run but I know Jake will be coming through here any minute so just sit tight and he’ll be out. Oh - and Jackie was talking about having you over for dinner so she’ll be reaching out to you soon. See ya’, kiddo”. Sheldon gives your shoulder a little squeeze and then disappears down the hallway.
Over the years, you have become a welcome sight around the Leafs organization; your presence had essentially reached the point of being more or less commonplace and didn’t warrant the media coverage that it once did. You helped out with various MLSE charities as well, having a preference for more of the hands-on local charity initiatives, whenever time allowed it.
Ultimately, you had established some strong personal connections within the Leafs and their families, so whenever you were in Toronto, it was not an out of place thing to occasionally see you turn up at a practice or out to dinner with a few of the WAGs.
As you waited for Jake, various staff and players stopped by for a quick catch-up before heading home for the day.
Jake eventually emerged in his Leafs tracksuit, freshly showered with a baseball cap on backward. He spots you and gives you a wide smile, mixed with some confusion, as he approaches you. Gio appears right after Jake and the two circle around you for a hug.
With the book concealed, you make small talk with the handsome veterans. They congratulate you on the gallery exhibit and they assure you they cannot wait to go and see it.
Two dogs suddenly appear out of nowhere; it doesn't take you long to determine they belong to William.
Knowing he would be appearing any second, you try to calm your nerves and focus solely on the dogs as they run towards you, jumping at your feet.
Your heart melts at the sight of them, and you gush “Oh my goodness, is this Pablo and Banksy?”
William hears your voice and stops dead in his tracks. His stomach flips and churns and his heart starts to race.
Oh my God, if that's her…holy shit…
He rounds the corner to see you bending down, allowing the dogs to completely envelop you.
“C'mon, whoa, whoa, whoa….boys - down…”, William chuckles and smiles at you somewhat apologetically.
“I don’t mind one bit…but you better listen to your Dad” you said to Pablo, giving him another scratch and rub as you stood up.
You smile at William who is posturing for an embrace and as his arms pull you in, as you reciprocate the gesture.
“How’s it going, William….” which you say as more of a statement than a question.
“Really good. It’s good to see you again”, William smiles widely, hardly believing you're in front of him now.
Before you melt or explode or however your body is reacting to his touch, you calmly say “you too” with a smile.
Turning back to Jake and Gio, you desperately hope you don’t appear as flustered as you feel.
William comes up on your one side while Jake and Gio, and even a few others have gathered around a countertop in the lounge.
“So, I have a bit of a surprise for Jake - that’s why I’m here. Actually, Jake’s wife is in on the surprise so I’m just going to call her real quick”.
The men that had gathered look at Jake who appears a little panicked, but in the best way possible.
Gaby answers and you ask Gio if he could hold the phone up, showing her face on the screen, in which he obliges once waving hello to Gaby.
You flip the heavy, hardcover book around; everyone leans in to get a glance at the cover. William catches a glimpse of the photo of you on the cover. He's not seen many images of you from when your career started, and the photograph captivates him immediately. Your tousled hair, your eyes that always bore into his soul, and your beautiful mouth that many times had made William almost see God himself.
William discreetly gazes at you.
You had been polluting his thoughts since he saw you at Mitch’s wedding. He wished you could have stayed. He wished he could have talked more with you; maybe could have danced with you…or better still, touched you for the first time in 4 years.
As you begin to explain the details of Jake’s surprise, you try to tame the whirlwind of emotions that circle within you. Between the loss of a dear friend, the anticipation of giving Jake a guitar that he has only dreamt of, and the remnants of feelings that you carry for William, you have to pause a few times while you speak just to regain your composure and keep the tears at bay.
William watches you open the book, and as you flip to the desired page to show Jake his newest possession, pangs of guilt and regret hit William.
William was famous for his confidence; he rarely burdened himself with many heavy thoughts, as he did not waste time dwelling on the past or anything that he could not change. The anointed King of Unbothered. And, as well as that has served him in both his personal and professional life, there were rare moments where something or someone shook him right to his core.
As he studied the side profile of your face, at this moment, you were that very person. Someone he realized that he had carelessly, and foolishly, disposed of. He disposed of your friendship, your companionship, and your love. Four years ago, he cut all ties with you, which was well within his right to do. But, the manner in which he severed those ties, never once affording you the ability to say a word in response, still haunted him to this day. What was worse is that two years later, he reached out to you, seemingly desperate to get a hold of you, and then he ghosted you once you responded. Your head spun with even more confusion and hurt than you had ever felt before and as time went on, it was yet another proverbial nail in the coffin for you and William.
William mused that when he saw you at Mitch’s wedding, you could have behaved any number of ways. You could have gone out of your way to ignore him. You could have been snide and made his entire night hell. You could have berated him for his callousness. He probably deserved all three of these possibilities.
Instead, you greeted him with kindness and friendship, which to William, only further illuminated your ravishing beauty. The way you still managed to smile at him, even though he sensed a deep sorrow behind your beautiful, deep brown eyes, it rocked William’s typical carefree nature.
And now you stood before him and his teammates, gifting Jake a precious guitar simply because you knew how happy it would make him to have it. William’s chest heaved with a mix of deep desire and the stark reality of the mistakes he's made with you.
William’s mind snapped back to the present, smiling at his teammate as Jake reeled and appeared completely flabbergasted.
“I can’t believe you remembered that conversation about this guitar, Y/N…that was ages ago. Jesus - I still played for Buffalo at the time…I cannot believe you’re giving this to me” Jake said, his face flushed as he looked at you and then turned to his wife’s face on the phone “and you knew about this…” he grins at Gaby.
“Can’t wait to hear you play for me, baby”, Gaby said, blowing Jake a kiss.
“Ok, so once the exhibit closes, I’ll get the guitar prepped for you and have it delivered. There are some nuances to how to tune her so I’ll drop by sometime and walk you through it. Oh, and here - the book is for you as well” you smile wryly at Jake “sorry, I think I diminished its value by signing it….but there is a little note for you in there for you too” you chuckle.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve this but thank you so much Y/N. I’m completely stunned.”
After hugs were given and goodbyes were said, the small group dissipated.
You turned to see William standing off to the side, glancing at his phone while Pablo and Banksy lay at his feet.
“Awh, your boys are tired” you said, unable to contain your smile looking at the two dogs, and then at William. “They’re awesome - it figures you’d have the most fly dogs ever”.
“You ever think about getting one? I guess it’s hard with all your travel but you can take them with you. I take these guys along with me all the time, almost everywhere I go”.
“When COVID started, I was in London…I started fostering from a nearby shelter. I wanted to give the dogs that were constantly overlooked a chance to get out of that environment and see if we could get some viable adoption candidates. I have been doing that here as well - my last girl just got adopted after being in a shelter for over 8 years; I just haven’t had the chance to go see another one to bring home.”
You bring out your phone and lean towards William to show a picture of the last dog in your care, Siba, a nine-year old Asian Shepherd.
William cheeks flushed pink as he catches the scent of your fragrance; a sudden urge to have his lips graze your skin as he recounts each location on your body where you usually dabbed each drop of perfume has his mind racing and his cock hardening.
Either side of your neck.
Sometimes behind your ears.
Your wrists.
Between your breasts.
Sometimes a little swipe across your navel.
“She’s so beautiful…” William said, hoping that you’d get the subtle hint he might be referring to you as well.
You shift uncomfortably for a second; he’s standing so close that you can feel his breath.
No. He didn’t get to do this to you again. The innocent remarks that whisper allusions to his desire for you is what you thought you wanted to hear for the past 4 years. But, all the sentiment is doing now is creating havoc in your mind.
You swipe the screen to close the photo down and drop the phone back into the pocket of your coat. You turn back to William and smile, now in a little more control of yourself than before.
“Christmas came early this year I guess…for both Siba and Jake.” you said, as you lean down to pet the dogs again and say goodbye.
“Oh - wait…speaking of Christmas…” William hesitates, sensing a slight change in your disposition. “I have been meaning to get in touch with you about that…”
“Oh, right - yeah…no worries…your Mom reached back out to me and said you gave the thumbs up for staying at the house. She mentioned you would reach out but I’m sure you’ve been pretty busy.”
William has an inkling when you’ve mentioned him being “busy”, you’re not referring to his hockey schedule.
“I’ve been working out some details with your parents already…it’s all good.” You tried not to sound too curt but there was a definite chill in your response.
William senses the conversation is quickly derailing.
William’s voice becomes low and soft. “Hey….maybe we could still get together sometime? Maybe drop by sometime? I'd kinda like to be involved with the Christmas thing and… it’s just there are some things that we maybe need to talk about.”
Talk. He’s about a million years too late for that, you think to yourself.
“If you feel there’s a need, sure. Let me know when and where…you moved, right?”
William’s expression changed, showing shades of remorse. “I’ll text you the address. I just have practices for now; we don’t play until the 7th so any afternoon is good. Today even, if that works for you”.
“I’m flying out to Ireland again late on the 5th so yeah - maybe today or tomorrow…”
Thinking back to your conversation at Mitch’s wedding, William joked with a slight smirk “Ireland again? Not another funeral I hope…”
You quickly looked away, tears threatening to well up in your eyes.
“It is, actually” you said softly.
Oh my god, you idiot, William berated himself in his mind. ”Fuck…Y/N….I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t have joked”.
“No, I know, Will. It’s ok…I’ll be ok” you smiled, faintly. It seemed like, for the thousandth time that day, you fought to suppress the ache deep within you and had to fight back tears.
William gently reached for your hand and pulled you into his arms. Involuntarily, you gripped onto his hoodie, probably a little too tightly, all in an effort to not completely fall apart in front of him.
You pull away, still trying to hide the anguish on your face with a smile. It broke William a little to see you struggling to maintain your composure. Always putting on a brave face, no matter how cracked or broken you felt, was what you did. It was how you were wired.
“Here…if you’re leaving, I’ll walk you out to your car” William said, searching for his keys in his pocket.
You were tempted to come up with an excuse to avoid spending any additional time alone with William, simply because every molecule in your body was inexplicably drawn to him.
Fresh out of reasons or rationale, your mind was too overwhelmed lately to come up with the excuse needed to flee in the opposite direction. The 4 of you walked down the corridor together in a comfortable silence, and exited into the parking lot.
Pablo and Banksy bolt forward out into the daylight, but do not stray far from their Dad, as they happily jump on each other while nearing your vehicle. William smiled to himself and shook his head. Of course your vehicle of choice wasn’t a super luxury SUV or sports car. You took your key fob out and unlocked the black crew cab 4x4 truck. He could picture it now; you in your tank top and jeans, covered in dirt and dust with your work gloves on, hauling lumber and bags of concrete mix for a mini home project.
You were always a parallel of opposites.
Poised and immaculate at high-profile events and functions versus you at home, decked out in ripped work clothes with sweat and sawdust stuck to every part of your body.
Your ultra-cool and larger than life demeanour on stage as you absorbed the electric energy from the crowd versus your sometimes quiet, humble, and super composed personality off stage.
Your vocabulary and your way with words versus your ability to spout off more profanity than a pissed-off truck-driver.
The innocent and submissive side you showed William while making love on many occasions, when he was between your thighs versus the absolute rocket you became when you flipped the switch and took complete control of his body.
“So….what about today. Do you think you could come by later on…I could order in some food - we could catch up?”
You open the door to your truck and Pablo and Banksy both put their front paws on the running board, their tails wagging furiously.
You look at them and chuckle, and bend down to let them bombard you with affection.
“Yeah, you know what…sure, that sounds good. But if you don’t send me your address and end up ghosting me yet again…William….I just - don’t even….”, shaking your head and chuckling, leaving the sentence unfinished. You hop into the truck and William shoo’s the dogs away from the truck door.
“Awh - Y/N - fuck…” William winces at your sarcasm, rubbing the back of his neck, showing a mix of guilt and acknowledgement that he deserved it. “I’m not going to do that”.
“Uh-huh….famous last words,” you said in a cheeky tone, rolling your eyes as you turned the ignition on. “I guess we’ll see you later…bye boys…”.
William chuckled and watched you drive off towards the exit. Walking back to his SUV with the dogs in tow, he felt an excitement, to the point of giddiness, which he hadn’t felt in ages about anyone. He had no idea how the future would pan out but he could at least look forward to tonight so the two of you could finally clear the air.
William arrives home and after one last bathroom break for the dogs, he starts his typical routine of making calls while eating whatever he picked up from the chefs at the rink or on the way home. He knows your food preferences and makes a mental note of which restaurant he’ll call for take out from. The last thing he does before his afternoon siesta is a quick home delivery order of red wine and other essentials.
He stretches out on the couch that he recently had deep-cleaned due to his last few
sex-capades, none of which seemed to end well or at least warranted an invite for a return visit. He begins to drift off; his dogs curled up around his feet and legs.
Panic suddenly grips him as he realized he had not sent you his address.
See? no 👻 - 😉 William texts as he sends you the address.
If I had forgotten - what a fuckin disaster William thought before falling into a restful sleep.
A couple of hours later, and at least an hour before William was ready to wake up, his phone began to dance and vibrate on the coffee table. Groaning, he grabs the phone off the table and fumbles with it until he can focus on the caller.
The name “Trina” is illuminated on the display.
“Fuuuuuuck” William grumbles while forcing the call to voicemail. “Should have fucking blocked her”.
Since the last time William and Trina had seen each other, there had been a few harmless texts; mostly Trina following up on William’s health and well-being.
Despite the rather unappealing outcome of their last meeting, William had started to think perhaps he had been too hasty in judging their first sexual experience together. She was beautiful, eager, and readily accessible; these are the exact qualities William needed for a short term fling. He decided to keep his options open, although he continued to feign being unwell until he was ready to see Trina again.
This all was, of course, prior to William seeing you again.
A voicemail notification appears on the screen followed by a text message bubble.
Missing you - let me come by and make you feel better
William rubs his hand over his face, stroking his moustache as he thinks about how to respond. Thanks but I’ll be ok. Just need some more rest. I’ll msg you soon. Good enough, William thinks and sets his phone back on the table.
He leans back on the couch, and closes his eyes again, when another chime sounds from his cell.
“Jesus - take a fucking hint…” he mutters, grabbing his phone.
It’s from you:
You sure about the no 👻… you didn’t tell me what time… have you already started 🏃?
William laughs and responds:
I’m not gonna 🏃… too tired. I might hide tho. How’s 5?
Dots appear as you type your response:
Ooof 💀. K - see you then.
90 minutes from now. Fuck. I should have told her 4.
William continues to read your text exchange over again as he smiles to himself. You always succeeded in making William laugh, no matter how small the exchange was. Your individual senses of humour seemed to mesh flawlessly - he seemed to get you and your little idiosyncrasies, the same way you understood his.
He looked forward to the possibility of earning your friendship back and maybe even more. William wondered if you had met anyone; he had heard rumblings a while ago about you catching the eyes and interests of a few other NHL’ers but he hadn’t heard anything since. In William’s mind (and he was aware he had no claim on you), he dreaded the idea of you being with anyone, but there was something so much worse if that guy was another hockey player in the league.
He pushed those thoughts to the side; he would need to establish rumour and fact later, and it made him queasy just thinking about it.
Rather than trying to steal a few more minutes of sleep, William putters around the condo tidying up here and there, but feeling no pressure in having the place look unlived in.
Nerves were starting to build. William seemed to wander aimlessly from one room to the other, serving no other purpose than to kill time. Although he had a shower after practice, William decided on another long shower to help him relax, and to allow him to take some additional care with his grooming regimen.
William steps into the hot water and closes his eyes as the warmth and the steam envelop him. Every quiet moment lately, William has thought about the two of you and your past. Memories that never seem to erode; images that William would often rely on when he needed to drift off to sleep or relieve some built up “tension”.
Streams of water weave their paths down William's broad chest, through his chest hair and down his toned abs, eventually trickling down the veins of his cock, and dripping off the tip. He begins to feel a stirring, an urge with the thoughts of your arrival. William's strong hand gingerly wraps around his shaft and he begins to pump himself with long, methodical strokes.
He remembers the occasions with the two of you in the shower….
….you on your knees before him and encouraging his cock further into your mouth until the tip is rubbing against the back of your throat. With his hand fisting the hair at the back of your head, you allowed him to fuck you deep in your mouth until you tasted the pre-cum seeping onto your tongue. William marvelled with how much your mouth could accommodate as you expertly controlled your gag reflex and breathing. It seemed with your years of voice and mouth exercises, the benefits were many, beyond simply increasing your vocal range and pitch.
As William spouted broken sentences of praise for what you were doing to him, you would masterfully take control of his cock with your hands, stroking his girth, alternating between licking and sucking the rounded head as it turned shades of feverish reds and purples. William’s grunts and loud groans never ceased to arouse you as William began climaxing. You lapped at his balls, gently sucking on them as you continued to pump his shaft. You ached to hear the warnings before he cums, desperately waiting for him to unload. Gripping his ass, your mouth engulfs his cock, your head moving back and forth at a frenzied pace. You force the oozing head towards the entrance of your throat. William’s hand cradles the back of your neck, allowing you to look up. Your eyes locked on each other as his seed coated the inside of your mouth. You smile as you enjoy the taste of him, and slowly guide his cock away from your open mouth as strings of your spit mixed with his cum stretch from the head. Your eyes remain fixed on his; soft smiles and intimate words are lovingly exchanged as you continue to lap, suck and fill your mouth again and again with his generous cock.
William shuddered as he watched you intently overtaking his semi-erect member into your mouth. With you maintaining his heightened arousal, the urge to spread your thighs apart for him to greedily feast on your pussy took hold. You always claimed to be a better giver than receiver, but William was now hell-bent on respectfully pushing your boundaries. Without fail, each and every time, you had given him the hottest oral of his life, and William was determined to reciprocate until your pussy was properly worshipped.
He pulled you up and pressed you hard against the shower wall with his thick and muscular frame. He scanned your face, focusing his gaze on your lips; he watched as the water washed away the remainder of his cum that had oozed from your mouth. He used his thumb to slowly guide the fluids back into your mouth, allowing you to suck on the tip of his thumb. He kissed you; his lips were hungry and eager on your mouth as his tongue manoeuvred around yours. His hands moved skillfully from massaging your tits, down along your sides, and towards the front of your abdomen. You let out a gasp and bit your lip hard as 8 fingertips gently landed with a faint, feather-like touch near your pussy, as he began to lightly graze your wet and ready folds. You begin to shiver at his touch and have the goosebumps to prove it; your pussy is past the point of throbbing and you are almost on the fringes of insanity waiting for William to binge on your core.
He wanted to mark you tonight. His mouth slid down your body, nipping and sucking some of the most pleasurable, albeit discreet, areas of your toned body. As he knelt on the shower floor, he caressed your long leg, leaving love bites at the apex of your slender thigh which he then guided one over his shoulder. His mouth instantly latches onto your folds as he slowly strokes your clitoris with his pointed tongue. You shriek, reacting to William suddenly engaging his jaw muscles to tongue-fuck you in concert with mercilessly licking your clit. William rubbed his facial hair repeatedly over your most sensitive spots, feasting on your swollen pussy as if it was his favourite dessert, moaning with pleasure as your arousal hit his taste buds. He loved hearing you cry out his name, watching you let go of your usual collected composure and allowing him to help release your inner inhibitions.
As an added bonus, he inserted his middle and ring fingers slowly and deeply inside your cunt. He adjusted and moved the ends of his fingers eventually hitting the most desirable spot as he watched you writhe in pure ecstasy. He wanted to see you succumb to the sensation as he continued lapping and stroking your clitoris with his tongue. He began to move his fingers rapidly in and out of your entrance, until your thighs began to shake and quiver involuntarily. William increased his already formidable pace with his fingers and his tongue as you fight not to collapse under the sheer magnitude of your impending orgasm.
And when he brings you to the highest level of pleasure, he vigorously gyrates his fingers deep inside your core, inciting you to cry out as you squirt for him. After he made you spray for him a few more times, he laced his fingers with yours and he stood up, pressing you against the shower wall again. One hand slides back down to your pussy and he gently rubs two fingers against your engorged clit. William’s eyes are locked on yours as he slowly pulls his fingers up to his mouth, and wipes the sheen from your arousal on his pouting lips. He runs his tongue along the shiny trail he made with his fingers, whispering in your ear of how delicious you are.
Back in a lonelier shower, William’s head falls back under the steady stream of hot water that begins to collect in his open mouth as he’s reaching his orgasm. He spits it out and begins to grunt as streams of cum erupt into the flow of water heading to the drain on the shower floor.
He pants for a moment, catching his breath. He needed that. He needed to take the edge off before you arrived.
William steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around his midriff. The steam quickly dissipates as he exits the bathroom into his bedroom, and he takes his time selecting the relaxed and casual attire for the evening. He glances at his phone to check the time. 4:30.
He sighs and smiles slightly; he’s really looking forward to tonight, to just have you there relaxing on his couch, catching up on the past few years.
He checks his messages, making sure there was nothing new from you. There is, however, another text from Trina.
My friend and I are going to Mademoiselle for Happy Hour and then dinner. Maybe it will do you good to come out - we can all have a little bit of fun?
Knowing the message will show as being read, William sends a short response.
Not tonight, but thanks anyway.
Trina responds with just an emoji showing her disappointment.
William shakes his head and finishes getting ready. Minutes tick on but it feels like hours, and he’s getting impatient.
The ringtone on his phone assigned to building Security begins to chime, startling William for a moment and each of the dogs perk up their ears in response. He answers the call and his stomach flips once the guard announces your arrival.
He can hardly believe how nervous he’s become and silently kicks his own ass in his head for being so ridiculous. But on the other hand, it’s you. The one girl he still finds himself longing for after so many years.
He props the door open wide enough so you can spot him once you get off the elevator; Pablo and Banksy sit at William’s feet anxiously anticipating the arrival of someone new.
Once the elevator reaches William’s floor, he can hear the chime and the doors sliding open. You step into the plush waiting area and then follow the signs pointing to the appropriate suite number.
You round the corner and see him waiting in his doorway. It’s no use to try and conceal your smile when your eyes land on his grinning face. He opens up the door allowing the dogs to fly down the hallway in your direction.
William watches you beam with delight as you bend down to greet the two.
After tummy rubs and a lot of cooing from you, the dogs follow you back towards the condo where you greet William with a friendly embrace.
William takes a moment to gaze at you; your curls are contained by a loose bun, you are dressed in a tan coloured pea coat, black turtleneck with black slacks. You managed to make clothing that were simple and understated look elegant and absolutely fucking sexy. He inhales deeply - your appearance already has William rattled.
He takes your coat and you remove your heeled boots at the entranceway. The dogs follow your every move as you scan his condo. Had it not been December and the days being so short, you could imagine how a sunny day would radiate throughout the place from the large windows and glass balcony doors from the living room.
“This is really beautiful, William. Such a fantastic part of the city too,” you said smiling, your eyes wide and shining.
“It’s small, but I’m on a waitlist for a larger place up on the penthouse floor. It’ll be better when my family comes to visit…so they don’t need to crash at your house at Christmas again” William laughs.
“Well, yeah…I get it but I have to say, I’m really looking forward to having them stay. It’s far too big for just me, so having some life around will be amazing. At the very least, I’m hoping someone in your family will kick your ass at ping-pong…or at any of the other games, really…” you smirk.
“Ha, yeah…never gonna happen…” William laughs.
“Ah, well…pardon me as I try to squeeze by the giant ego that just arrived”
“Ouch…hey, I'm just telling it like it is”.
You roll your eyes and scoff. “Ok, King...let’s leave it there.”
The conversation and friendly banter ensues; there are no awkward moments or strained silences. The shared mood is happy and light and soul-warming, much like it had been all those years before. There was a tinge of bashfulness at times as you both would steal glances at each other. It seemed apparent that you both were still very much attracted to one another.
Prior to seeing him, there were moments that you found it annoying to still have these feelings simmering just beneath the surface, given your spirit had been shattered for much of the past four years. Nevertheless, he wasn't to blame for the anguish you shouldered…it's how life was; you caught deeper feelings for him than he did for you. End of story.
At that very moment, it didn’t matter anyway. Or at least, you were going to bury those thoughts way back in the proverbial closet for tonight.
The wine arrives via delivery, followed by dinner. You both opt to sit on the floor and eat at the coffee table in the living room, devouring the variety of sushi and sashimi pieces William had selected.
You filled him in on some of the different music and business ventures you had been a part of since COVID. He asked you about certain gigs and various celebrities, trying to get you to spill some dirt (although tempting, you did not oblige).
He in turn told you about some of his brother’s exploits with women, and you reminisced about the old days and the unhinged female drama involving Kasperi and his ex-girlfriends that you witnessed firsthand a number of years ago.
Your muscles in your face began to hurt from smiling and laughing; it’s been forever since you’ve been able to truly unwind like this. You realize that the wine is going down far too easily and you felt a little more buzzed than you should, with remnants of jet lag still plaguing you from the previous round trip from Europe.
William had excused himself to the bathroom, and in an effort not to submit to the wave of drowsiness that was creeping in, you got up off the floor and started cleaning up the containers and plates scattered around the table.
William appears from the hallway and tells you to leave everything - he will clean it up later.
“Ha – no, I need to move - I had a brutal travel schedule at the end of November and it nearly killed me. This exhaustion just strikes whenever, so I had to at least stand up…otherwise, you’re going to find me passed out on the floor. I feel like a narcoleptic lately. Plus - that wine…is really, really fucking good…I feel a little drunk,” your face flushed as you laugh.
“You can stay here tonight, if you want?”
You hesitated as waves of nostalgia and cautiousness, in equal measure, washed over you. “Are you sure - I wouldn’t want to cramp your style…”
Before you can stop yourself, you blurt out some musings - or misgivings rather - about his current love life that had been bouncing around in your head.
“I’m sure your dance card is pretty full these days…maybe you’ve got a young model-type waiting for you later somewhere?” you try to joke as you rinse off the plates and stack them in the sink. Your fear that he'll see right through your comments as you look for some clarity on his current love life.
William chuckles and shakes his head; he knows this is partly because of what has been stirred up about his personal life during the Sweden trip.
Touch her. Hug her. Kiss her….do something William thinks.
“I’m positive…I really like this…us hanging out, you and me again. And…please - stop cleaning up” he laughs.
William offers you a small towel and helps you dry off your hands. He smiles as he gazes at you.
“It's really been amazing to see you,” William says softly.
You're certain that the surface temperature of your cheeks are reaching five alarm status as he pulls you closer against him as he leans against the kitchen counter. William feels your light touch as your hands gently lay on his chest.
He searches your face. “And we haven’t really talked about the stuff from before - with what happened with you and me. Do you think maybe we should?” William asks quietly.
You can only manage to look directly into his eyes for brief moments; anything longer will make you crumble.
“I think we can shelve it…it’s not going to change anything that happened before. It’s been such a fantastic evening already…I don’t think we should spoil it by dredging everything up from the past.”
You stare at the thick chain around his neck using it as your main focal point.
“Yeah, ok…you’re right. It doesn’t change anything that went down.”
You nod your head and look up at his face, blushing more heavily as you try to contain your wide smile.
Your head is swimming but your need to be in control of your emotions takes hold, and you apologetically excuse yourself and head to the washroom. William just smiles and lets his hands slide down your hips as he releases you from his embrace.
You try to stabilize your heart rate and your thoughts. Your desires versus your logic are each trying to get the upper hand in your mind. You take your time, willing yourself to sober up a bit before heading back out to William. You drink some water from the tap to try and dilute the effects of the alcohol you’ve consumed. You study your reflection in the mirror and after repositioning a few curls here and there and applying a little more lip gloss, you exit the bathroom.
Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door spurring the dogs to start barking. You hear William pad over to the entrance and pause for a moment before turning the lock and opening the door.
You hear a female’s voice shriek “Willy!! Heeeey….I missed you so much”.
You can hear the sound of bracelets clinking as the woman wraps her arms around William, followed by an audible kiss. It's crystal clear that she currently has something going on with William.
You hear the dogs muffling whines once William gently commands them to quiet down.
You stop dead in your tracks, feeling completely trapped. Part of you wants to return to the bathroom and not hear any of their conversation. The masochistic side, however, wants to hear every word.
Your brain begins to spiral out of control.
How did you manage to misread this situation again? What was that in the kitchen….was it meant to be platonic? Would he invite you here just to tell you about her?
It feels like a literal punch in the stomach, and you instinctively place your hand over your abdomen as though it would help numb the ache coursing through your body. You stand in the hallway, completely motionless as if your feet were concrete blocks.
“Trina, what are you doing…I mean, how'd you even get in?”
“I dunno, the security guy and the other one were dealing with somebody, someone else was leaving, they held the door, so…we just walked in. Oh, this is my best friend, Lara. I told her how fucking amazing our first date was. She's a fan of yours too. We were out for a few drinks and I thought the two of us could come by to help you feel better. You and I haven’t seen each other since the last time….I know you said not tonight but here we are,” Trina giggled, her words slightly slurred from intoxication.
Lara glared at her friend. Trina had said William was ok with them coming over anytime she wanted, and she claimed he would be game for anything they wanted to do.
William’s present demeanour is definitely contradicting Trina’s story.
For years now, Lara, being the pragmatic one of the two, had been suspicious of how much truth was behind Trina’s claims when it came to the men she had met and dated. True, William and Trina had sex; that much was obvious. However, based on the number of times Trina initiated contact versus William, Lara surmised William might be only willing to meet solely on his whim, given the tone of his short and dry text messages that Trina showed her. Trina was too wrapped up in all the media attention William had been receiving lately to even notice the bland tone behind each of his responses.
When Trina and Lara arrived at Mademoiselle that evening, Trina was clearly on a mission, ordering multiple Perfect 10 Martini’s because, in her inebriated words, she was exactly that. Her mission was to make sure William felt that about her too.
When Trina came up with the brilliant idea of dropping by William’s in order for the two ladies to seduce him and coax him into bed, Lara thought there was no way she was being serious. Lara allowed Trina to call the shots just to humour her; she had learned long ago it was better to play along first before pulling the plug straight away on Trina’s antics. If Lara was being honest though, the exciting flipside of this situation is that if she was ever going to have an opportunity for her first threesome (and if he was truly willing), it might as well be with William Nylander.
As Trina continues to ramble about their evening and some explicit ideas she has for the hours that lie ahead, Lara scans the scene in the living room. Her heart drops when she realizes William is not alone. First she spots two wine glasses - William had filled up your glass while you had stepped away to the washroom. She looks over to see your Louboutin stiletto boots placed off to the side. Then your jacket. She glances at William and can’t quite determine what emotion has registered on his face.
“I….I’m sorry William - I didn’t know you told Trina not to come by tonight” Lara interjected. William looked toward Lara and verbally confirmed, he definitely told her not tonight.
“I have a guest so it would be better if you both just head home” William said calmly.
Trina’s eyes suddenly widened. “A guest??” Trina's voice is raised as she emphasizes the last word. “Do you have another girl here tonight? Where is she? So…what - is she fucking HIDING? Come on out, bitch…let’s see you - I guarantee it, you got nothing he wants” Trina yelled into the air as she looked around the space.
“Alright - enough…you need to leave or I’ll fucking calling security…” William's jaw was clenched as he warned Trina and Lara.
“No - please William, I’m so sorry…we’re leaving. I'm so embarrassed - she said we could come by.”
Lara grits her teeth when she looks at Trina. “You…we’re going….NOW…”
Lara grabs a hold of Trina’s trench coat and half guides but partially shoves her as she stumbles down the corridor. Lara’s voice was a low growl as she berates her until the elevator arrives.
William watches the two girls vanish around the corner to the elevator, hearing the chime as it arrives on his floor. He steps out of the doorway into the hall making a call down to security to ensure they have exited the building. Sometime soon, William will have to go down and find out how they got in from the get go.
He stood there, exasperated as he rubbed his forehead as he re-entered the apartment. The dread of facing you now is creeping into his mind. William is genuinely worried that the fallout from tonight’s events is that you won’t want anything to do with him going forward.
Indeed, that was one of the many thoughts going through your mind. You knew you were judging him and his lifestyle, and you knew you had no right to do so. Just because you chose to abstain from casual sex or any kind of relationship for all these years, certainly did not mean he had to do the same.
You’ve known all along that he was super popular with women. He didn’t have to do much to have girls reaching out to him in droves. Through various means, you also knew he took advantage of his popularity, with being spotted out and about with a number of gorgeous girls over the years.
However, acknowledging reality in theory and seeing it first hand was completely different.
As you stood there listening to Trina drunkenly spout off details of what she and William had done previously and the plans she had for him tonight, you wanted to wretch. The worst part about it was you knew your soul that you still wanted him, but William had moved on, many times over.
You and William may have started as convenient and casual hook-ups but it never was just about sex with you. It was about all of him. No amount of time or distance or how much you pushed it down could cure you of your feelings for William, up to this point anyway.
But now, all you can feel is torment and defeat from that gut punch from the last 5 minutes. The universe had to be telling you something; the first time you spend time together after four years had passed, and within hours, he had two women show up at his door propositioning him for a threesome.
Here you stood, the week before your 31st birthday, a multi-platinum award winning musician, composer. entrepreneur, philanthropist, advocate, model, actress, and the list went on.
Yet, with all of your achievements under your belt, right now, you were just another girl in a veritable ocean of females all vying for William’s affections. If there was ever a chance that something could have transpired tonight between you and William, the moment has now been instantly derailed by some drunk girl who fucked your ex-hook-up….lover…whatever label fit.
At the end of the day, William could fuck whomever he wanted. He could do whatever he pleased with as many girls as he chooses. It’s his life… It was his decision how he wanted to enjoy his downtime and really, it was none of your business anyway.
Your sometimes passive-aggressive nature, mixed with hurt feelings, made you want to see him twist a little. As you appeared from the hallway however, his expression made you think twice about adding to his misery.
He looked completely crushed, embarrassed, and lost. “Are you ok?” you asked, softly.
“It’s more like, are you…” he said. “Y/N, I am so sorry”.
“Well, it doesn’t seem like it’s really your fault, though…I’m assuming you didn’t know she would sneak into your building, hammered …and well, try and…” you nod your head toward the bedroom.
“Well, no…but I sorta led her on. I’m not even sure why I did…she was kind of…I dunno…like…just there” William struggled to come up with the right word.
“Available…”
” “Yeah…something like that” William confided, feeling a little embarrassed.
He pulls you towards him. “So much for the fantastic night…I guess I ruined that” he said into your ear.
Based on the looseness of your embrace, he knows your feelings have shifted. William feels horrible, desperately wishing he could rewrite the past ten minutes.
You took a step back and you could feel your expression soften. You manage a faint smile and tell him that it was mostly fantastic - even amazing - night but you could have done without the plot twist at the end.
“So….I think I’ll grab an Uber or something and head home, if you’re gonna be ok?” You paused.
No, I���m not ok. I want you to stay here, he thinks to himself.
“Maybe you should stay. Seriously, that girl - just in case she gets it into her head to hang around and watch whoever leaves the building” William says gently.
“Shit…do you think she’d stalk you?”.
“Not sure” William smoothed his hand over his beard. The last thing either of you need is to have your names splashed around the social media universe because of a drunken altercation with a girl in a parking lot, who had been recently fucked…and then slighted, by William Nylander.
You consider the options for another moment, and finally agree that it might be for the best to stay. The couch looks pretty comfortable so you offer to sleep in the living room.
William looks hurt. He wants you in his bed. The urge to wrap himself around you is almost too much for him to handle.
Given the circumstances however, he knows how self-serving it will seem asking you to sleep in the same bed as him. Despite you trying so hard to hide it, he knows you are hurt. He’s beginning to feel a sense of hopelessness from the damage that’s been done tonight.
He grabs some dog treats and tells you to just stay and try and relax while he heads out for a walk with the dogs. He wants to drop by the concierge desk and security just to make sure all is clear around the outside of the building before he ventures out with his boys.
After William and the dogs leave, you survey your surroundings and allow a release of the emotions that have been simmering just under the surface all day. Tears well in your eyes as you stare at the wine glass he filled for you earlier. You lower your head in your hands and weep quietly.
Moments pass and a blinding headache begins to form behind your eyes; the pressure making your eyelids feel heavily weighted. Between the wine and William’s unexpected visitors, the unmitigated happiness you felt only 30 minutes ago has completely evaporated. Like a magnet to steel, a force anchors you to the couch, and you can’t help but to lie your head down and close your eyes to try and get some relief.
Exhaustion eventually takes hold of you, and you fall into a deep sleep within minutes of your head hitting the pillow.
William and the dogs return after spending longer than anticipated on their walk; the one night William really needs Pablo and Banksy to do their business quickly, it took them forever to get it done.
William enters the condo in a hurried pace, only to find you curled up on the couch asleep. His heart expands and breaks all at once as he approaches you, your figure gently rising and falling with each breath.
He considers waking you up to offer his bed anyway, wanting you to have a more comfortable place to sleep but he vetoes his own thoughts, given all that has transpired.
Instead, he grabs a blanket and gently lays it over you.
It feels strange for William to leave you in the living room by yourself. He watches you for another few moments, your face scarcely illuminated by the dim light from the kitchen that he's left on for you. Desire and disappointment grip his stomach as he turns to head to his bedroom.
The next morning , you awake to something cold and wet brushing up against your face. “Pablo….down, buddy” William chuckled.
Opening your eyes, you’re initially disoriented from waking from a deep sleep. You see Pablo sitting in front of you (you swear he’s smiling), waiting for some kind of acknowledgement.
A wide grin spans your face.
“Oh…sweet boy…thank you for the kisses” you softly say, encouraging Pablo to hop up onto the couch. Pablo gladly obliges and lies lengthwise on your torso. You murmur words of affection to Pablo’s face as you rub behind his ears and nuzzle him back with your nose.
Banksy comes bouncing across the room wanting to join in on the love fest.
You smile apologetically at William. “Sorry I passed out before you came back; I wasn’t able to keep my eyes open.”
“I’m glad you stayed…looked like you needed the rest. The snoring though - you sounded like a freight train” William says with a smirk.
“I’ll take my snoring over you ripping farts all night” you jokingly retorted.
“Hey…I couldn’t help that…it was better out than in. I seem to remember you laughing until you almost wet yourself…you weren’t exactly complaining”, William laughs.
“You held me under the blankets…fucking Dutch Oven - and that wasn’t laughter, that was gasping”.
William starts laughing that trademark laugh.
You roll your eyes as you smile widely at him. “Yeah, keep laughing there, chuckles. Good times”.
Yeah...they were. So many good times together William thought.
You both take a lingering look at one another, and before he notices you blushing, you excuse yourself and head to the washroom.
Every thought in your mind concerning William has shifted. Last night, prior to Trina's arrival that is, you felt a closeness resurfacing with William. The calmness he always seemed to provide to you, just naturally with his presence, had begun to return.
But now, with this new day, there's just uncertainty and uneasiness that has settled in your gut. You realize now that you don't know him like you used to. Maybe it was a stretch to think that you ever did. After all, in the three years you were involved, you only managed to string together a month here, or two months there - and then you would have to leave. Only experiencing the best side of each other; it seemed true that no two people could be more entranced with one another than you and William when you were together. But everything has changed since then and it’s doubtful that you want the same things from life.
Returning to the living area, William’s about ready to head out with the dogs. Both Pablo and Banksy run over to you, falling over each other for your attention as if you’ve been gone the whole day instead of just 5 minutes.
“I’m not sure if they love me as much as they seem to love you…I feel like a distant second to them now”.
“Awh - boys, you better go see your Dad…he’s feeling a little jealous” you say as you kiss and nuzzle the tops of their heads.
“I was going to ask if you wanted to come with me for their walk but I think it’s pouring out there now. I might just take them to the rink and let them run around there, I guess.”
“I would have but one - it’ll kill me to walk in those things” you nod your head towards the stilettos. “And, two - I better head out…there’s a ton of things I have to get done before I leave. Otherwise, I would have loved to.”
You finished getting ready and within minutes, the 4 of you were descending in the elevator towards the main lobby. William offers to walk you out to the parking lot but you decline. Figuring his car is in the underground lot, there was no need for him to get him and the dogs soaked as the heavy December rain ensued.
“It was good to see you…memorable in the most legendary Nylander way” you say smiling.
Before he could respond, you crouch down to acknowledge the dogs, allowing them to put their front paws on your knees for more wet nose boops and kisses.
As you stood up, you could see his expression had changed. He didn’t look like his normal light hearted self. He looked weary. He looked like he had a million things to say but wasn’t able to utter a single word. Instead, he reached out and pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around you in a firm embrace. You felt his breath on your neck as he lowered his head and rested it against yours.
You pull back slightly and give him a warm smile. “I know you’re travelling too pretty soon - wishing you great games and safe travels, ok?”
“Yeah, you too. Shit - we didn’t get to talk about Christmas - the family coming - or anything like that though…”
“I’m in contact with your parents about everything - someone is bound to fill you in but seriously, there’s nothing for you to worry about. As long as you show up sometime after you fly home from Columbus, you’re golden” you say with a grin.
This time, the silence between you weighed heavily in the air.
“Ok…you better get going there, superstar. Traffic’s going to be shit…I don’t want to hear Sid Seixeiro bitching about you being late on Breakfast Television again.”
William laughed out loud. “Yeah - got a lot of flak for that one…I didn’t know you knew about that”, William says as he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck
“Well, it was pretty much splashed around everywhere at the time. I couldn’t avoid it”, you smirk.
You turn to look out at the steady stream of rain and sigh; half of you wants to go with him and the other half wants to get the hell out of there, downpour be damned.
“Ok then…I’m off. See you later, boys”, you grin at William and the dogs, turning to head across the lobby and out into the miserable and wet December morning.
William heads back into the elevator, hands jammed in his pockets, feeling uneasy about how everything with you was left up in the air.
#william nylander#toronto maple leafs#willy styles#nylander#nhl fic#ficrec#hockey#nhl imagine#nhl smut#nylander x reader
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Moon Song / part two: and you're married
Summary: Hotch and Y/N's relationship is still complicated, and Y/N is navigating some new information. Will she tell Hotch or not?
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x (AFAB) Reader
Word Count: 4405
Warnings: ANGST, MISCARRIAGE, arguing, toxic!hotch, slightly toxic!reader, emotional reader, mention of menstrual products/gynecologist/medical appointments, infedelity, mentions of cheating/adultery, mentions of blood
This work is meant for readers aged 18 and over. You are responsible for your own media consumption.
-Two Weeks Later-
“Come on baby girl, your birthday is in a week and you’re telling me you don’t want a party?” Morgan says teasingly.
“I’m just not in the mood to party, that’s all,” I mutter. It’s early in the morning and my nausea is so strong I’m afraid if I talk too much, I’m just gonna spew my breakfast everywhere.
“Whatever you say, but you know the team is gonna want to party anyway,” Morgan says, finally retreating to his desk. I make up a flimsy excuse to go and talk to JJ, half noticing Reid watching me. I think nothing of it and shut the door behind me when I get to JJ’s office.
“Hey, you okay?” She asks, looking up from the papers she was poring over.
“Nauseous.” I spit out, sitting in a chair and sighing.
“Oh! That reminds me, I found something for you. You said the ginger candy didn’t work, so I found an alternative.” She digs around in her purse and pulls out two little gray bands with a plastic bead in each band.
“What are those?” I ask, now curious.
“They’re called Sea Bands; they help with nausea.” JJ shows me how to put them on and I pull my sleeves over them, effectively hiding them. We give it a couple of minutes, and the nausea does start to get better.
“JJ, I love you, thank you so much,” I say, giving her a small smile.
“Anytime, Y/N. Have you told him yet?” I clam up at that.
“Um…no. I wouldn’t even know the first thing to say.” I say, picking at my cuticles. “Besides, I don’t know if I want him to know just yet. It’s still pretty early.” Dr. Mitchell confirmed that I was pregnant a week ago when I had an appointment with her. When she confirmed it, I cried. I told her I was sorry, and that I didn’t know why I kept crying, and she explained that it was just my elevated hormone levels and that it was perfectly normal. Hotch has stayed over twice since I found out, and I know there’s something I’m supposed to say, but I can never get the words out. So we fuck and we fight and that’s it.
“Y/N? You still here?” JJ says gently.
“Sorry. Just thinking.” I feel a lump start to form in my throat, but I’ve cried in front of JJ enough in the last week. I don’t want to burden her with my fucked-up life right now. “Excuse me.” I get up and rush out, running to the bathroom and locking myself in a stall, finally letting myself cry. A few minutes later I hear the door open, I sniffle, trying to get my shit together when I hear,
“Y/N?”
“Reid, this is the women’s bathroom. I think even a genius would know that.” He chuckles at that.
“Yeah, I know. I’m just worried about you. You haven’t been acting like yourself lately. You look seasick every morning, you tell Derek you don’t want a birthday party even though you make every excuse to go the bar and sing karaoke, and you’re always visiting JJ.” I’m quiet. I’m not sure how I want to respond. He’s attentive that’s for sure, but I don’t know if he would understand what I’m going through. “Y/N, are you pregnant?”
I let out a surprised laugh, unlocking the bathroom stall door and opening it, looking at Spencer leaning against the sink. “I knew the genius would figure it out. Yeah, I’m pregnant. Only JJ knows, and I would really appreciate it if you would keep this a secret.”
“Of course, Y/N. Your secret is safe with me. Are you doing okay? Despite, you know.” He gestures at my abdomen.
“The nausea is the worst part. And I’m emotional.”
“Yeah, I could tell.” He says, raising his eyebrows. I smile at him.
“Thanks for coming to check on me,” I say, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I sometimes feel like Reid is the brother I never had, and he dotes on me as my younger sister does.
“I was just getting worried.” He pauses, then says, “You know, sometimes I think of you like the sister I never had. I may not have much, but you guys are my family.” He scratches the back of his neck, and I grab his hand.
“The feeling is mutual. Now let’s get out of here before you scare the shit out of the next woman that walks in here.”
-The Day Before My Birthday-
“Okay fine,” I say, walking into the conference room, “I’m having a birthday party.” Morgan whoops, telling everyone that he knew I would come around. “Okay, enough, enough. Tomorrow, five PM, my house.”
“Will your karaoke mic be making an appearance?” Emily asks.
“It wouldn’t be a party without a little karaoke.” I shoot her a grin. “Also, no gifts, please. I don’t want anything, and I always feel awkward opening presents.”
“What’s this about presents?” Hotch says walking into the conference room.
“Our birthday girl has finally agreed to a party, but she doesn’t want any presents. Tomorrow at five, her place. Do you know how to get there?” Morgan says. Hotch glances at me, and I can see he’s holding back a laugh.
“He might need some directions. Wouldn’t want him to get lost.” I say, swallowing my grin and sitting down.
-My Birthday-
“Okay, I’ve got the pizza, the karaoke mic, plates, drinks, cups. What am I forgetting?” I mutter to myself.
“Maybe you should change out of your pajamas?” Reid asks.
“Oh my god, yes, that’s what I was forgetting! Thank you, Reid!” I shout, jogging up the stairs to pull on a pretty tank top and dark-wash jeans. I braid my hair, putting on a little bit of mascara before giving myself a once over and heading back downstairs. Reid is making sure everything is organized properly when I come back downstairs, and I let him do his thing, shaking out the nerves. I like parties to an extent but having so many people in my home stresses me out.
“You, okay?” Reid says, looking at me over his glasses.
“Yeah, just nervous.”
“Is it because of-," He's cut off my Morgan shouting,
“The life of the party is here!” I shoot Reid a confused look, but he doesn’t finish his question. I go to greet the others who have shown up.
“You find your way, okay?” I ask, telling people where to put their coats.
“Easy enough. It was like I’d been here before or something.” Hotch says, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. He’s not smiling, but I can see a smile in his eyes. I blush, looking down. He had been nice lately, we still fought, but we’d talk about it afterward, rather than him just shutting down and storming out.
“JJ!” I exclaim as she walks through the door. “Thank god, there are way too many men here.”
“Hey!” Morgan and Rossi exclaim at the same time.
“Take the testosterone to the kitchen please!” I shout. They all grumble but do it anyway, and I pull JJ aside.
“Reid knows. I forgot to tell you, but he knows. Found me in the bathroom sobbing my eyes out.” Her hand covers mine.
“I’m glad someone else knows.” She pauses, getting ready to ask a question. I already know what she’s going to ask.
“Don’t. Not today, please. I’ll tell him when I’m ready.” The lump in my throat is back and I blink hard a few times, begging the tears to not come. At that moment, the door bangs open again, and this time it’s Penelope and Emily. The lump disappears and Penelope grabs me in the warmest hug I’ve had in a long time.
-
I must be dreaming because Hotch is definitely not singing karaoke right now. Of all the songs, he picked ‘Hey There Delilah’, but he keeps trying to substitute my name for ‘Delilah’ and somehow manages to butcher it every time. He’s singing at my birthday. I’ve never seen him smiling so big. The rest of the team is egging him on, cheering and chanting, and I’m caught up in the revelry. We already ate and did cake, and I’m content on the couch, stomach, and heart full.
Hotch finishes his song and gives me a dramatic bow, Derek and Penelope now fighting over who’s singing next. Something twists low in my gut and I suck in a breath. I shift on the couch, trying to find relief. My period must be starting soon. I think to myself, then pause in panic. No, no, no. Please no. Another lash of pain. Tears prick at the corner of my eyes. I get up and head to the bathroom.
I pull down my pants and underwear and there’s bright red blood on my underwear.
“Please, god no, please, I’m begging you,” I whisper. I grip the sides of the sink, staring myself down in the mirror. I pull my pants back up and open the door. I see JJ in the kitchen and quickly walk over to her, placing my hand on her arm.
“Y/N?” She asks.
“JJ, help, something’s wrong, I don’t-the baby,” I say clutching at my abdomen as JJ realizes what I’ve said.
“Okay, stay right here I’m getting Emily and Penelope.”
“No, just want you.” I gasp out. “Fuck, my back hurts. JJ, I feel like I’m dying.”
“Come on, we’re going to your bedroom.” She’s typing something on her phone as we make our way up the stairs. I have to stop every few steps to take a few shaky deep breaths.
“Y/N? Are you okay?” I can hear Hotch’s voice call up the stairs.
“Food poisoning.” I choke out.
“Party’s over,” JJ says firmly, “Everyone go home. I’ll stay with Y/N.” Hotch starts to protest but JJ cuts him off with a glare. “You’ve done enough. Go home.” He looks confused but retreats.
When we get to my bedroom I rush to the bathroom, ripping off my clothes feeling like I can’t breathe. This can’t be happening. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I sit on the toilet, feeling the life of my baby, and my sanity slipping out of my body.
JJ sits across from me, my nakedness not seeming to bother her. I grimace as another cramp wraps around my lower back and belly and squeezes with no remorse.
A few minutes pass. Or it could be an hour.
“I had a miscarriage once. I was in college, dating a scum bag boyfriend. But I wanted that baby so bad.” JJ looks at me, “I’m really sorry, Y/N.”
“Yeah, me too. My mom always says we hate tears in heaven,” I pause, and the next sentence is so quiet I’m not even sure I say it out loud, “But it’s sad his baby died.”
At this, JJ grabs my hand, squeezing tightly. “I won’t let you go through this alone. I’m going to be here the whole time.”
After a while, the cramps get better, but I’m still bleeding. I fish out an overnight pad from under the sink and tell JJ which drawer holds my underwear, and where she can find a pair of pajamas. She steps out of the bathroom. She comes back and gives me privacy to get dressed.
Through the door, she says, “You don’t have to look if you don’t want to.” I don’t respond.
I gingerly stand up after wiping, quietly shutting the toilet lid without looking inside. I get dressed, flush the toilet, and wash my hands. I stare at myself in the mirror. I look the same, but something very deep inside of me has fractured, like a bone when too much pressure is applied. I open the door, and JJ has prepared my bed, and I see a bottle sitting on the bedside table. She follows my gaze,
“Extra strength Tylenol. I asked Emily to pick it up. I didn’t tell her why.”
“Thank you.” I take two of the pills, swallowing them dry. “I’ll be okay, you can go home now if you’d like.”
JJ gives me a look that resembles one she gives Henry when he’s in trouble. “I’m not going anywhere. Will can watch Henry tonight.”
“Well, at least let me get you a pair of pajamas,” I say, walking over to my drawer, and pulling out a pair. “It’s the least I can do.” She gives me a sad smile, taking the pajamas from my hands and walking into the bathroom.
As she puts them on, I get in bed and find that she found my heating pad and plugged it in. I press it into my abdomen, forcing the tears in my eyes to stay where they are. If I start crying, I won’t stop.
JJ comes out, tells me that she’s going to lock up the house, and sets off down the stairs. She comes back a few moments later, and gets in bed with me, leaving the bedside light on. I’m quiet for a few moments before asking,
“Do you think this is punishment?”
“For what?”
“Sleeping with a married man.” I look at her with wide eyes, trying to convey that I’m not joking. This feels like some sort of cosmic joke, losing his baby when he’s married to someone else.
“Y/N, no. Sometimes there’s something wrong with the pregnancy, your body is just trying to protect you.” She pauses. “You’re a good person. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”
“But-“ I start.
“No buts. Doesn’t matter what you’ve done, or whom you love, I know that you’re a good person. You are kind, and full of life, you’re great at your job, and you make everyone else around you shine a little brighter. We can’t help who we love.” She looks sad as she says it, grabbing my hand and squeezing again. I fall asleep with her holding my hand and wake up in the wee hours of the morning, the air still, fog heavy on the ground. I use the bathroom and change my pad. I leave JJ asleep and go downstairs to leave a message for my gynecologist. I put on a pot of coffee, make a slice of toast, and eat it in silence. An hour passes, and I open a book. Close it. Open it again. Close it again. Frustrated, I rub my eyes.
How am I supposed to move on from this?
I lay down on the couch, but sleep doesn’t come. Another hour passes, and my phone rings.
“Hello, this is Y/N.”
“Y/N, this is Doctor Mitchell, how are you?” That question breaks my façade. I start sobbing on the phone, Doctor Mitchell trying to soothe me. After a few minutes, I force myself to pull my shit together, wiping my snotty nose on the hem of my shirt.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know why that happened.”
“Y/N, that’s very normal. You’ve just gone through something traumatic, it’s okay to be emotional about it. Now, can you come into the office today? Just so I can check you out and prescribe anything if it’s necessary.”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll take a sick day at work. What times do you have available?”
“Does 9:30 AM work for you?” I tell her it does, and she says that she’s here for me, and then we hang up on each other. I text Rossi, telling him I’m taking a sick day due to the “food poisoning”. He tells me to feel better soon.
“Hey,” I hear to my left. I turn and see JJ leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, concern etched on her face. She looks silly in my cartoon print pajamas.
“Hey to you too,” I say, trying to make a joke but my smile slides off my face as quickly as it was put there. I hold up my phone, “My doctor. I have an appointment today.”
“Do you want someone to go with you?”
“No.” I think about it. “I think this is something I have to do alone.” She nods.
-
I always liked Dr. Mitchell’s office. It’s painted in soft pastel yellow, the warm glow making me feel at home. I’m shaking as she comes out to get me. The exam is quick, and she confirms that I did have a miscarriage. Before I go, she hands me some pamphlets on therapy resources in the area. I take them and thank her, leaving the office and stopping for a few minutes outside so my eyes can adjust to the sunlight. I leaf through the pamphlets before carefully putting them in my purse. That can be dealt with at a later time.
I have no idea what to do with the rest of my day, and it hits me that I don’t have any semblance of a life outside of work. I sigh, and my phone vibrates. It’s my sister, asking me how work is going. A lump forms in my throat, and I quickly shoot back a text asking if she can talk on the phone right now. She calls me instantly, frantically asking me if I’m okay. I don’t cry this time, but I tell her everything. Hotch. The affair. The baby. Losing the baby. He doesn’t know. She’s very quiet, letting me word vomit until I have nothing else to say.
“Y/N. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to go through something like this.” She finally says. We talk about what’s next, she asks me to take some time off and come stay with her for a week or so. I tell her I don’t want to intrude, and she counters with the fact that she’s worried about me. I know she just wants to keep an eye on me, but the thought of going to my hometown right now makes me sick to my stomach. I tell her I’ll think about it, she lets it slide. We talk a few minutes more, and I tell her I have to go. I hang up the phone, staring blankly at my steering wheel.
I end up taking the next two days off of work, blaming it on the food poisoning. Hotch texts me a couple of times, checking up on me, asking if I’m okay. I give short, noncommittal answers. JJ comes by every night with a hot meal and her company.
It’s lunchtime on my last day off and I’m picking at the ham sandwich I made when there’s a knock at my door. I look through the peephole and am relieved to see Reid. I open the door and he pulls out a bouquet from behind his back.
“Um, JJ told me. I thought you might want something nice to look at.” I wordlessly take the flowers from him looking them over. It’s a beautiful arrangement, with soft pink, and yellow flowers. They smell heavenly. I give him a small smile.
“They’re beautiful. Would you like to come in?” He nods, and follows me inside, shutting the door behind us. I quickly clean up my lunch and get a vase down for the flowers, methodically cutting the stems and putting the plant food powder in the little vase. Reid just watches, letting me do what I’m doing. I put the flowers in the vase, adjusting them ever so slightly before putting the vase on my dining table.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Reid asks.
“I-“ I pause. Do I want to talk about it? I should talk about it. Reid seems like a safe bet. “Kind of. It’s – it’s hard to talk about.” I swallow thickly.
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. I’m sorry about what happened.”
“Yeah, me too,” I say quietly. “My sister wants me to come home and spend some time with her.”
“Do you want to do that?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure what I want anymore.”
“Hey, that’s okay. You don’t have to have it all figured out, Y/N. You’re young, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. It’s okay if you don’t know your next step right now.” I just look at him, wanting desperately to believe what he was saying. I walk over to him, and he opens up his arms, knowing what I want. I wrap my arms tightly around him, just needing to be held. Not by Hotch, but by a friend. I don’t know how long we stand there, but I finally loosen my grip. “I do think you should take some time off. Maybe not go back to your hometown, but just spend some time with yourself.” I nod.
“I’ll think about it.” With that, he changes the subject, something about a book on quantum physics, and I let him ramble on, asking clarifying questions now and then which he happily answers. We talk for an hour or so, before he states that he has to get back to the office. “Spence,” I say as he’s walking out the door. “Thank you for today. I really needed it.”
“Of course, Y/N. Anything for my little sister.” He adds, winking at me, and I laugh.
I lay down for a nap after he leaves and wake up to my phone going off.
JJ: Emily and Penelope are worried about you. Can they come with me? You don’t have to tell them anything you don’t want to.
Y/N: That’s fine, it would be nice to have some girl time.
I tidy the house up a little bit, make it look like I haven’t been sleeping on the couch where the TV can drown out the thoughts that scream at me. That my current diet has been pringles and chocolate, and the meals JJ has been bringing me every night. The doorbell rings fifteen minutes later, and I open the door, cursing the fact that I forgot to change out of my pajamas. I give them a small smile as they come inside.
JJ had brought a giant pizza from a local spot with her, and my stomach growled when I saw it. We all laughed at that. We settled down on the couch, and Emily asks,
“What do you think gave you food poisoning?” JJ and I lock eyes for a split second and then I say,
“Um, actually, I had a miscarriage.” It gets silent for a split second before Emily and Penelope are telling me how sorry they are. I don’t miss the exchange between them though and I add, “You can ask who it was, but I think you already know.” I pick at my cuticles, waiting for them to say something.
“We know. And it’s okay.” Penelope says, smiling at me. “You don’t have to explain anything to us.” I smile at her, the weight lifting off of my heart a little as a tear slides down my left cheek.
“Does everyone else know?” I ask.
“Well, Reid was the first to notice. He kept going on and on about you and Hotch’s body language. One thing led to another, and…” Emily trails off.
“And I’m your favorite subject to study, got it,” I say with a half-smile. I knew Reid knew. That must have been what he was going to ask me on my birthday. I’m glad he let it be, probably knowing that I was hurting more than I needed to know that he knew. I change the subject, and our conversation wanders its way through many topics before I know it I’m yawning, and JJ is ushering Em and Penelope out the door before coming back to big good night to me.
“Anything else I can get you before I head out?”
“No, I’m okay. Thank you for everything, I appreciate it.” I settle down on the couch, pulling my blanket off the back of it and situating it around myself. After a few seconds, I notice JJ watching me smiling. “What? What is it?”
“Sometimes I just forget how young you are.”
“I’m not that much younger than you!” She chuckles and I want to ask her what she means, but she bids me good night and leaves out the garage, so I don’t have to get up and lock the door behind her.
Work resumes like usual when I come back. A couple of people joke about the “food poisoning” and I laugh it off. I can feel Hotch watching me closely a lot though. I didn’t let him come over when I was miscarrying, afraid that I’d look in his face and the words would spill over until I couldn’t hold them back anymore. He calls me into his office at the end of the day.
“Y/N, are you okay?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I say, on the defensive. I know that no one would have told him behind my back, if they did they’d have to answer to my wrath. He looks me over.
“If something happened, you know you can tell me, right?”
I stare him down, battling with the part of me that wants to tell him everything, and the other part that’s afraid he’ll use it against me later down the line. “I’m fine. Can I go now?”
“Y/N, come on. You didn’t even let me visit you when you were sick.”
“JJ kept me company. I was fine.”
“I’m just hurt that you didn’t want my company.” I blink in surprise. He’s being vulnerable.
“I’m just dealing with some stuff right now, okay? You…you just make things complicated.”
“I’m here for you always.”
“And you’re married,” I say plainly. “You have been from the start. I just need a break …from whatever this is. You’re married and I’m – I’m just me.” My voice cracks on the last word.
“I -,” he sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah, that’s fair. We’ll take a break for a little bit.” I excuse myself, heading back to my desk to grab my things. For some reason, I feel worse now taking a break than I did with him. Before I leave, I glance over my shoulder towards his office, and he’s watching me. I freeze for a split second, locked in an intense gaze before he breaks it, looking back down to his paperwork. I sigh and leave, my house feeling empty with his presence.
part three: and you might be dying
#aaron hotchner#criminal minds#hotch#hotch x y/n#hotch x reader#hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#moon song hotch
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Attention Hazbin Hotel Fanfiction Enjoyers!!
I have a snack for y’all!!
I’m in the process of writing the first chapter of my new Hazbin fic and I wanted to give you, my Lovelies, a sneak peek of the dialogue. (Although, it looks more like a script at the moment). Eh, whatevs.
——————
It’s going to be mostly centred around Lucifer, Michael, Sera, and Emily (although, other Hazbin characters, both canon and non-canon, will be in it as well).
For example, I will be including God in this fic. And I will say right now that my characterization and representation of God is NOT meant to be taken as religiously accurate or anything like that. You don’t have to like it, but I do ask that you please remain respectful in voicing your opinions.
Anyway…
Once I have most of it (or at least a few chapters) finished, I will be posting it on Archive Of Our Own (Ao3). I may also post it here for those who don’t use Ao3.
But without further ado, you can find my sneak peak under the cut. It’s a bit long but I hope you guys like it.
Enjoy, Lovelies!
START OF PEEK
Sera: Come now, Michael, pick up the pace. We mustn’t be late.
Michael: *Groans and yawns* Sera, where are we going again? Why are we going anywhere so EARLY? Heaven’s not even awake yet.
Sera: *Sighs quietly* I told you five minutes ago, Michael. This is the third time you’ve asked me now. *slighty raises an eyebrow with a frown*
Michael: Oh… right. *Looks down at the ground, looking a bit crestfallen*
*Sera turns back away from Michael as they continue walking, seemingly oblivious to his saddened state.*
Sera: Michael, this behaviour cannot continue. You must improve your listening. As Father’s Angel of Justice, one of His most important angels, someday you will be part of the Heavenly Council, the ones who are responsible for keeping Heaven safe and balanced. So, you need to take your role seriously. You should know that by now.
Michael: *frowns and stops walking, feeling embarrassed* I was listening. I just… kept forgetting. I’m sorry. *tears form in his eyes as he fiddles with his sleeves* I-I do take my role seriously, Sera. I r-really do.
*Sera’s eyes widen as she realizes what she said to him. She had forgotten how sensitive he could be when it came to criticism and how much he often took things to heart. How could she be so blunt? Yes, he would need to learn to take criticism, but was still just a young child.*
*But most of all, how could she forget? She knows what Michael is like. Other than God, she’s been the one mostly raising him.*
*A couple tears begin to trail down Michael’s cheeks as he looks to the ground in shame. A frown washes over Sera’s face as she kneels down in front of Michael.*
*She sure feels guilty now. She made him cry. How dare she.*
Sera: Oh, Michael. Please don’t cry.
*She cups his face in her hands and wipes away his tears with her thumbs.*
Sera: Shh, it’s okay, honey. It’s okay. I’m sorry for getting upset at you. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I just want you to be prepared to help govern Heaven in the future.
Michael: *sniffles* I know…
Sera: *Sighs* But even so, that is no excuse for accusing you of not listening and being careless on purpose.
Michael: *sighs and sniffles as he looks at the ground* I try act mature like you and the other angels. I try to listen when you all tell me things. I want to listen, but… I’m just too stupid.
Sera: *Gasps quietly* Oh… no, Michael… Michael look at me. Please. *He looks at her* Don’t say or even think anything like that ever again. That train of thought stops this instant. You are not stupid. You are smart, determined, and caring.
*Sera sighs slightly shamefully and closes her eyes*
Sera: You are also quite mature for your age, and I sometimes forget how young you are. That as much as you’ve grown, you are still a young fledgling.
Michael: *eyes widened* You forget things, too?
*Sera opens her eyes again and looks at Michael with a small, reassuring smile.*
Sera: Of course. Angels are some of Father’s greatest creations… but even we are not flawless. As much as we may try to avoid it, we will make mistakes. That’s just how it is. However, what’s important is being able to admit to our mistakes and to do our best to fix them. That is true divinity.
*Sera takes Michael’s hands in hers.*
Sera: So, again, I’m sorry for what I said and for getting upset. It was not your fault and it was not kind or fair of me to be hard on you and make you feel less than. You’re a child. You deserve to be treated with patience and dignity and shouldn’t be expected to behave as if you were an adult.
*A smile quickly spreads across Michael’s face as he finishes drying his face with his sleeve.*
Michael: That’s okay, Sera. I forgive you. *Jumps into Sera’s arms for a hug*
Sera: *smiles* Thank you, Michael.
*Sera hugs him back.*
Michael: Thanks, too. I’ll do my best to make Heaven proud.
Sera: You’re welcome, my little angel. I know you will bring honour to us all.
*More hug I guess lmao*
Michael: I love you, Sera.
Sera: I love you too, Michael. *breaks the hug with a smile and strokes his cheek lovingly before standing up* Now, come along. Father is waiting for us.
*Sera holds out her hand, offering it for Michael to take, which he quickly does. Realization then dawns on his face as his wings flap excitedly a couple times.*
Michael: Oh, yeah, that’s where we’re going. Father wants to show us something, right?
*Sera looks down at Michael with an endearing smile and nods.*
Sera: That’s right.
END OF PEEK
#hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel 2024#hazbin hotel michael#hazbin hotel sera#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel emily#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lucifer#hazbin michael#hazbin sera#hazbin emily#hazbin hotel angst#hazbin hotel fluff#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel fandom#fanfiction#fanfic#my fanfiction#my fanfic writing#my fanfic ideas#my fanfic stuff#dont steal#stay hydrated#my lovelies
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The bus always drops Billy off exactly a block from home. They took his car when he failed a vision test from his chronic migraines, so there isn’t much of a choice. Which is fair. He really doesn’t want to drive anyways after his accident. But, the bus isn’t always on time.
He’d been visiting Max at the hospital to play catch up before the new year. There’s always a good excuse to go visit her, but today especially. There’s fireworks going off like crazy from all the drunk hicks celebrating the passing of another year. Fireworks that terrify Max because she can’t even see them, after losing her vision in the battle for her life.
He’s lucky he got out of the hospital earlier that night because Max requested an extra strong dose of her meds to drown out the sound of the fireworks.
Unfortunately, there’s too many of those same drunks to cart around that the bus hadn’t made its way to the hospital until an hour after it was supposed to pick him up. He’d meant to be home by 9, but it’s already after 10.
Even on his eventual walk home from the bus stop, drawn out by his limp and his cane, the sky is full of smoke and colors. And noise. Lots and lots of irritating, terrifying noise.
Billy walks the last stretch faster than he should. He’s eager to get home to Steve for their first new year together anyhow. He’ll blame it on that instead of the lick of fear in his stride from the booming.
Right away as he shoulders the door open on his good side, the one not leaning on a cane, he calls out into the house, expecting Steve to be right there since he’s running a little late, “Baby?”
But there’s no answer. That’s not so unusual. They’re usually in bed by now anyways, aged at least three decades by the events of two summers ago and basically every day since. He’ll just hang up his coat, kick off his stretchy old man shoes, and try again.
“Steeeevie?”
Still nothing.
One too many times panicking from not knowing Steve’s exact location has taught him to calm down a little, and get his head on the right way before he starts tearing the place apart looking for him. Taking his time so as not to hurt himself in the process, Billy decides to go upstairs and check before he makes the ruling that Steve’s MIA. For his sanity.
He finds his boyfriend disguised as a pile of blankets on their bed, and he almost misses him because the lights are all out.
Right.
Fireworks are pretty rough for Steve too. Nothing brings more sensory overload than colorful death bombs in the sky. Billy sighs. He hates this town and the constant cacophony of fear it brings. Can’t they ever have a moment of peace?
He climbs into bed next to Steve, announcing his presence with a clearing of his throat before he plops down next to the curled up figure under the comforter.
“What’re you doing in here?”
The quiet response from Steve comes out barely audible, “Hiding.”
Yeah. Billy kinda wishes he could hide from a lot of things too. But right now, this is not about him,
“What from?”
The blankets rustle and a small mumbled response comes, “Loud.”
Just to be sure, and so Steve doesn’t have to do as much talking, Billy clarifies, “The fireworks are too loud?”
Again, there’s a shifting sound of Steve’s hair against the sheets, as he nods gently.
Billy wants to hold him. He’d like to strike down every last motherfucker that made Steve feel like this too. He can settle for lifting up the blanket and sliding under it with Steve, and talking gently to try and soothe him.
“I think so too. They uh.. remind me of..”
His voice breaks off from the quiet whisper into just nothing. Even now, even trying to be strong for Steve, there are some things that are too hard to talk about.
Steve’s face goes scrunched up with sympathy. Like he’s trying hard on purpose to feel bad for Billy, though that’s not really how it goes in his head. He even apologizes, though that isn’t what Billy wanted at all, “I’m sorry.”
Instantly, Billy rushes to reassure him, “Stevie, you didn’t-“
But it doesn’t change what Steve was already determined to tell him. They don’t talk a lot about the serious things. About how they’re both disabled now, and certainly both jam-packed with more trauma than the sky is packed with lights tonight. Maybe they should, so Steve won’t sound as guilty as he speaks,
“I’m sorry I’ve always been like this and you were made into this.”
That makes Billy pause. He has to catch his breath and then turn on his side to look at Steve’s face, centering on his nose so accidental eye-contact won’t happen.
No way is he letting Steve blame himself for this, any of this.
“That’s not true. I hated fireworks before too. We’d watch them on the beach, and I’d get scared because the water looked like it was on fire.”
Just from that tidbit, Steve tears up. Billy tears up. They both know what part of the story is coming next, and suddenly Billy remembers that he told this story before and simply forgot, but it’s too late to stop now.
“Momma held me and told me that it wasn’t real, but.. after momma left.. I was always afraid of irrational shit like that. Still am. Just today I was scared the hospital would burn up from the fireworks if I left Max there. Or I’d choke on the smoke on my way home. And then I got back and I couldn’t find you and I just-“
Yeah. Steve gets it. They’re both trying their damndest, even when another pop sounds in the near distance, and Steve presses his headphones a little closer to his ears.
The not quite silence speaks more volumes than their words. Steve spreads his arm out, and makes a soft little humming sound. An invitation for Billy to come close and wrap his arms around Steve. They need each other right now.
Billy dives into the offered cuddle. He’s been waiting for this moment all day. The moment where he could just sob into Steve’s chest, and feel Steve’s own tears wetting his hair. Sometimes, this is what it takes.
Laying in bed and purging out all their bad emotions isn’t exactly the ideal way for two ex-King’s like them to spend their New Year’s Eve, but it’s how they’re going to, and neither would ask for any other way to move into another year. They fought hard to be able to do that.
Nobody can take that away.
They don’t talk again until Steve is ready. With all the noise and chaos, Billy doesn’t mind the silence, just listening to Steve’s steady, unsteady, one-two-skip, heartbeat. He hears Steve’s words rattle up in his chest as he speaks them, “Fireworks are stupid.”
That makes Billy crack a smile. They both know all this crying isn’t about the fireworks. Not that it helps, but that’s not the point.
Maybe fireworks will be the spark that lit the fire. From now on, it’s about opening up a little more.
“Yeah. What’s so great about all that toxic shit in the air anyways?” Billy meant that in more ways than one, but whether or not Steve got the double meaning about all that glory covering up the ugly truth, isn’t what he focuses on.
Steve lingers on the idea of the bad air, and Billy’s asthmatic lungs, and lets the worry come back, “I didn’t even think about that. You okay?”
Billy nods against Steve’s chest, and pulls back a little so his head is resting by his arm instead, and they’re face to face now, “I’m just fine.”
It’s such an automatic answer, Steve catches it too. Satisfied that he noticed, he points out, “You sound just like Max.”
He does. It feels like it’s already been an eternity since he got back in Steve’s arms. He forgot that today was the same day he visited Max. His memories get mixed up like that sometimes.
The silence after Steve’s little teasing must eat away at Billy’s mask, because Steve makes a small sound of worry, like a gruff sniffle, and asks, “Was she okay?”
Trying hard to remember today’s visit over yesterday's or the day before's or nine months before that’s, Billy gives details by the moment he remembers them, “Still tired. But alright. Got her to smile.”
“Did you tell her-“ Every single day Steve asks the same questions. He cares so much about doing the right thing.
Seeing him now, all curled up in bed and sad on a day that’s a celebration for everybody else, makes Billy even more sure that he’s going to do the right thing as well. Right now, that’s reassurance,
“Yep, I said ‘hi from Steve.’ And I made sure to tell her you miss her. All the usual.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t come.” Steve went once, and that was all it took for the constant beeping, rushing, wheeling, to trigger a meltdown. Never again.
But Billy’s alright with that, and Max was too the last time they talked, “Baby, we’ve told you. It’s fine. I can barely get my ass on the bus either.”
Steve doesn’t look like he believes him. His eyes are wide and teary again. His nails scratch at his palms, so Billy gently takes his hands and keeps them separated.
“Promise?”
Billy kisses Steve’s knuckles on each hand, soft and barely able to be felt as a graze across warm flesh. He’s going to do anything to make Steve stop worrying about the harder things they’ve been through a few times now.
“I promise.”
Billy reaches out slowly, ever so slowly so Steve has time to assert his boundaries before Billy's hand makes contact with his face. Instead of stopping him though, Steve blinks slowly and closes his eyes, and allows Billy to gently hold his cheek. His skin is flushed warm, despite it being so cold out. He’s the softest thing Billy’s ever had the privilege to hold.
Next he wants to taste. The angle they’re at is awkward and it hurts Billy’s back. He taps Steve’s cheek as a silent way of asking him to be the one to initiate their kiss and fix their tangle of limbs. Steve obliges, without opening his eyes, shifting off of his hip so his chest is against Billy’s now, and their faces are just inches apart.
Billy isn’t even sure which of them actually closes the gap, but in the next moment he’s kissing Steve slowly and carefully like either of them could break at any second.
In the next moment, Steve does break, only in that he separates the kiss.
“Wait a sec.”
Billy’s eyes are half open, his face warmed by the love he felt from the kiss, which left him too lax and calm to be worried about Steve’s interruption, “Hm?”
Not for no reason. Steve’s panic looks a lot different from his lightbulb ideas, and right now, Billy can tell before Steve even speaks it’s going to be the latter. One of his good ideas.
“We have to save up our kisses for midnight.”
Not exactly the most thrilling idea ever. Billy instinctually scrunches his nose as an expression of doubt, but Steve’s eyes are still shining with his own brilliance.
“I don’t know, babe..”
“It’s good luck!” Steve swears it like it’s a revelation, and he’s just cured all that ails Billy.
Seeing him that happy, instead of shaking and hiding from the overstimulation like earlier, Billy could say that Steve’s just about done that for real.
Billy plays his role as the skeptic though, pouting over-exaggeratedly so Steve knows he’s not serious, “Didn’t know that meant we had to wait.”
It earns a laugh, more akin to a delighted giggle, out of Steve, who decides on a compromise for their imaginary plight, “You can have one kiss on the cheek for now.”
He leans over and just barely pecks his cheek, soft lips ghosting over Billy’s skin and making him shiver with the feeling of goose pimples popping up on his neck. The small kiss transforms with the shape of Steve’s smile from Billy's reaction, and then Steve gives him another, slightly stronger, press of his lips.
“Thank you, Stevie.” Billy makes doubly-sure Steve knows he’s not really as pouty as he was playing to be. Really, any affection from Steve makes his entire day better, after months where they weren’t able to have these moments between doctors visits and monster battles. The peace of just being in one another’s arms, finally safe from all of that, is enough. “Love you.”
Declarations of love always give Steve a reason to show his happy hands. He taps the tips of his fingers in a rhythm against Billy’s collar bone, and returns the declaration in a silly, stimmy voice, “I love you too.”
Their bliss is interrupted by another thundering firework outside. A distressed squeak cuts off Steve’s words, and he buries his face into Billy’s form, hiding along the contour of his arm, with his face pressed against Billy’s ribcage, so he’s as close to Billy as possible, and as far away from the threat.
It’s not really a comfortable position, but if it keeps Steve feeling safe, Billy can live with a dead arm for a while.
“I got you, Steve. Those fireworks aren’t gonna get us, babe.”
“Too loud.” Steve repeats his sentiment from earlier. That’s a nice affirmation that this is all rational. They’ve both had their share of fear driven breaks, which are much harder to solve.
Since this one’s the kind that doesn’t scare Billy, he keeps joking with Steve to keep him from slipping into that worse place.
“Want me to sing for you? Drown it all out?” He questions, knowing full well he can’t hold a tune worth a damn.
“Please no.” Steve’s so polite about telling Billy what he already knew. It’s really sweet actually.
Billy chuckles lightly, suppressing his laugh so he doesn’t jostle Steve too much, “I hear you. We’ll just be nice and quiet then.”
After so long like that, without any more booming interruptions from outside of their safe spot, Billy’s eyes start to get heavy. He caught Steve the same way, blinking extra hard so his eyelashes danced over Billy’s skin, and so his eyes wouldn’t shut without him.
Normally he’d just let him sleep, and he considers it for a moment, but it’s the celebration of the new year, and Steve would be devastated if they missed the midnight kiss.
Billy realizes they’ve been laying here for so long, he doesn’t even know what time it is, “I’m gonna peek out of the blanket. Check the time.”
Steve doesn’t waste energy on responding beyond a simple nod.
Billy uses his free hand that isn’t under Steve to pull the heavy comforter back down to let the real world back in. His eyes take a moment to adjust to the room again, and then he squints at the clock to see how close they are to the moment.
“Oh shit. It’s 11:56. Only 4 minutes left.” He announces, and Steve pops up beside him from under the blanket eagerly, every bit of tiredness gone from his face and replaced with glowing excitement.
“Are we gonna count them down?”
Billy smiles and shrugs as much as he can with Steve’s weight still on his one arm, “Don’t see why not.”
They count the minutes down together quietly. That’s too long to do it out loud and wear Steve out before it’s even time. Their way of doing that consists of Billy laying still and letting Steve tap out each passing second against the scar in the center of his chest.
When they finally reach an achievable countdown, Billy starts with, “10.”
“9.” Steve takes the next, and they do it in alternating order, although from the way Steve is vibrating with excitement, he’d probably rather skip this step altogether
Still, Steve is so loving with him, even when Billy feels like he doesn’t deserve it.
“8.”
Billy would hold him through anything it took to make Steve feel safe expressing that kind of love.
“7.”
They fought so hard to be this comfortable. Last year, Billy was still in a coma, and Steve was still too scared to even touch him to hold hands.
“6.”
Their first kiss was two months after they started dating, leaning around stitches and big emotions to both finally feel like everything was in place.
“5.”
Someday, they’ll be totally in sync and know when those hard times have passed, but right now it’s a loving, tender work in progress.
“4.”
And maybe someday, they’ll get out of Hawkins, and far away from all the chaos here.
“3.”
Billy gets stronger every day, mentally and physically. Steve gets more in tune with his own needs and self-worth. That’s what a support system and a whole lotta care will do for a couple of guys like them.
“2.”
Most importantly, they’re getting better all the time at communicating, building up the foundations of their relationship.
“1!”
Steve initiates the kiss, grabbing both sides of Billy’s face and smashing their lips together rather than kissing him. It’s reminiscent of their first kiss, in all its clumsy, anxious glory. Billy thinks that’s a good momento to end the worst year of their lives with, and start into what will hopefully be the best.
“Looking forward to another year with you, baby.” He promises, when they break apart and finally get a breath.
Steve wears a delightful smile, “Here’s to another.. hm.. 100?”
That sounds nice. Just him and Steve for the rest of time, no matter how many years pass or how many painful explosions happen.
“Yeah. Cheers to that.”
#harringrove#billy hargrove#billy x steve#billy & max#disabled! steve#disabled! billy#my writing#ej writer#happy late new year y’all#i meant to post this yesterday but life got in the way#as it does with a lot of things#my resolution is to keep up with my writing and my friends more at the same time#anyway#love you all <3#long post
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A Very Late Introduction
HELLO!
I'm doing this because I've been here for a while now but haven't actually introduced myself, which is kinda rude but hey! Better late than never(?)
You can call me Jae (but anything works), and my pronouns are they/them. I'm 30, non-binary/gender fluid, neurodiverse, QTPOC writer who's an administrator by day and deviant by night. I dipped my toe into professional writing with my short stories and theatre works, but decided that indulging in my real passion (gay whumpy trash writing) is what I actually live for.
I've been into whump the entire time I've been cognisant. I always thought I was weird or broken for obsessing over whumpy scenes in media & books. I'd also write, fantasise, and act out whump scenarios. It wasn't until I discovered the online whump community a few years ago that I realised this is a Real Thing, and most likely a response to a traumatic childhood.
I currently live a very quiet and domestic life in New Zealand with my partner. I'm working full time while my partner studies and in a few years, I hope to go to grad school. We're both agoraphobic, so we spend our free time writing, RPing or playing video games. They know about my interests in whump, but don't fully understand it themselves. They always ask me if something is a 'whomp' and they look pleased when I tell them that yes, yes it is in fact a whomp.
At the moment, I'm working on Rin the Rat, which is my white whale project (though currently on hiatus). I'm also actively writing my Heathers fanfic Meant to Be Yours and at times working on this blog.
You can find my masterlist of writing HERE.
You'll find that I'm active in bursts, so if I'm gone for ages don't worry I'll be back! I update sporadically when I find the time & motivation to write (which is hardly consistent). Otherwise, I'm doing whump prompts or odd one-shots that I also include in my masterlist.
Please note that all of my characters are over the age of 18 and this blog is for those who are 18+ only!
LIKES
My absolute favourite character archetype is the Villain. Anyone who is reviled, hated, and ousted. They are misunderstood to a degree, but the hatred against them is almost always justified. My characters thrive in the grey, and they are both undeserving and deserving of their punishment. So you're going to find a lot of unlikeable characters in my stuff. On the bright side, you get to see them get battered to a pulp c:
I also like:
>Whumper turned whumpee
>Whumpee turned caretaker
>Hero x Villain
>Enemies to Friends/Caretaker
>Hidden ailment
>Hurt/Comfort
>Explicit NSFW (incl. non-con, somnophilia, etc)
>Royalty whump
>Endurance whump
>Emotional whump & angst
>Painful recovery
>Fevers and sickness
>Permanent injury/scars
>Robot whump
>Eating disorders
>Drugs/Poisons
>Substance abuse/addictions & withdrawals
>Mental illness (particularly PTSD, anxiety & depression, BPD)
>Trauma and harmful copes
>Conditioning
>Insomnia/sleep deprivation
>Whump with an audience
>Drowsy/semi-conscious whump
>Scapegoat whumpee
>Genre/trope subversion (eg. big strong whumpee and frail whumper)
>Favourite genres & settings include fantasy, modern world, sci-fi, royal/historical, and East Asian-centric settings.
DISLIKES
>BBU/Pet whump
>Lady whump
>Kid whump
>Too Much Torture (yes, this is a thing)
>Dehumanisation/animalisation (in some cases this is OK)
>Major character death (don't like reading it, absolutely love writing it)
>Bio-family caretakers (found family is OK)
>Real life whump
Sorry for the novel length! I might edit this later and add/remove stuff. Feel free to message me prompts or questions or anything at all :D I would love to hear from you <3
.
#whump introduction#whump community#whump#whump writing#sadcatjae#hello this is very late but hi#i love u all <3#lgbtq#whumblr
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4051 reminded me of when I read a book called "the forbidden orchid" that my grandma lent me years ago.
I was 12 when I read it and it had a lot of things in it that I didn't quite agree with in modern day
I would go more in-depth of the book but I have a poor memory and only really remember the images I created in my head of the book. which is really hard to describe accurately
I believe it was about this girl going to china? I think she was trying to not marry someone??? don't quote me on that I really cant remember the plot. it was about an orchid I know that
anyway despite that the book was amazing. I loved it. I do remember a scene though where she was riding on a carriage lifted by Chinese men. when they would take a break she offered the men water but they wouldn't take it but they accepted tea. not really a bad thing but it was pretty strange to 12 year old me ngl
but that book also introduced me to Chinese foot binding and i about cried when the book described how the little boys and girls were running around playing and some older girls were sitting to the side crying and the mc thought about how they would never be able to run around again.
I think there was some mention of sex stuff because of orchids. I was 12 so I didn't quite understand it too much and since I've forgotten so much I still haven't pieced it together despite probably knowing what the meant if I read it again at this age.
anyway this is really about how i could understand that this book could still be considered a well written book despite the content and themes it had in it that I don't agree with. plus it was set sometime in the past... 1800s??? early? late? idk.
I still love that book. there was another called "mad wicked folly" that I didn't get to finish but it was much the same in having things I didn't agree with
also idk how people can get through life not reading a book with stuff they didn't agreed with and learning to cope with that. like in 4th or 5th grade we read blood on the river and it mentioned how the "Indians" (native Americans) would run around naked. we all laughed at it and understood that that's just how life as like for them. it also helped that the mc we were following also thought it was weird and could understand that that is just what life is life for native Americans at that time. or at least in that book. ill be honest idk if its true but it wouldn't surprise me. I'm pretty sure its supposed to be a true-ish story but I cant remember.
this got long sorry but anyway i would actually recommend those three books. i enjoyed them a lot as a child and the first two were adult books. blood on the river was written for my reading level at the time but those other two were from my grandma so they should be enjoyable for adults. (both are by sharon biggs waller. i had to look it up)
I should read them again but honestly idk if my adhd will ever let me XD
Posting this since it is a response to a previous problem.
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I hate when my mother makes her little remarks when it comes to grandkids. My parents have 3 kids and we are all somewhere in our 30s and none of us have kids yet and (unfortunately for my parents) only one of us wants kids. My older sister doesn’t want them and has said that since she could talk, so she was ruled out for grandkids long ago. That leaves my older brother and me. he wants kids, just got married and will be having them within the next year or two. I don’t want kids, I don’t like them, don’t want them. I’ve said that, but I think my moms still convinced that I will change my mind. I won’t. So lately (ever since her twin sister became a grandmother 3 years ago) she’s been making little remarks about her lack of grandchildren. Twin sister says something about loving her grandchildren and my mother will just whip out, “oh, it must be nice” all while side eyeing me. Or when talking about herself and my dad “we got screwed”. And just mean little remarks of that nature meant to guilt trip all the time. Like I’m sorry you have 3 children and only one wants kids of their own. I know you feel like you are running out of time to be a grandparent. I know you are at that age blah blah blah. But I don’t have a responsibility to give you grandkids. Did you have children specifically so you could have grandchildren one day? No. Was I put on this earth strictly to have children? No. Yes, I know you would make great grandparents but this is not my problem. I don’t owe you fucking kids. I hate kids. They scream and cry and they are gross and I do not want them. I’m tired of the guilt tripping. Like you still have my brother who will give you 2 or 3 probably, like is that not enough? How many damn grandkids do you need to have? Will 2 or 3 not occupy you? I’m not permanently changing my body and my entire life and going through the torture that is childbirth all for something I don’t even want just so you can have some kids to play with for an hour every once in awhile and then I’m stuck with them for the rest of the time. I know I’m not suited for motherhood and I’m doing the potential children of mine a favor by not having them in the first place bc I will just be resentful. I’m not trapping myself in a situation that I ultimately do not want. I mean am I sometimes like “well it might not be so bad, it’s probably nice having children to love and watch grow”, yes I think that sometimes, but I don’t want it enough. And I hate being made to feel guilty for it. And you aren’t screwed either! My older brother will give you grandchildren, not right this damn second no, but in a year or two. Why is that not good enough? I’m sorry were we all supposed to be married with multiple children before hitting 30? I didn’t get the memo, sorry that didn’t pan out, but children aren’t a requirement for my existence.
#I shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for not wanting kids#I don’t think I ever did but I never said anything when I was younger bc I thought I wasn’t allowed too#like that’s not something a girl can say#but I’m saying it now and she’s just like oh you don’t know that for sure#like yes I do#I’m in my damn 30s if I wanted kids I would have made it happen by now#I don’t want to be stuck with kids 24/7 for the rest of my life#I don’t want to take care of kids#I don’t want to pay for kids#I don’t want to teach kids things#I don’t want to watch them make mistakes#i don’t want to have to worry about them#this world sucks major ass right now and I don’t want to bring innocent children into it#bc they are going to be the ones cleaning up our mess#in my mind there are more negatives than positives when it comes to having kids#yes it’s unfair you still don’t have grandkids bc you would be great grandparents#they truly would#but it’s also u fair to guilt trip me for not having kids#you wanted children you wanted to be a mother-I can’t say the same#oh but god forbid if I say I don’t want them suddenly I’m the bad guy#I’ve done them so wrong how dare I
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Flashback (elliot x sunshine)
@sojutsu SO SORRY IT'S LATE I CAME DOWN WITH COVID AND IT KNOCKED ME OUT COLD FOR A WHILE. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
(Here is your Redacted Winter Gift Exchange fan fiction story written by yours truly I really hope you enjoy and have an amazing holiday season)
TW: none
Elliot was only a baby when his family adopted him which meant he got to experience everything with them including Christmas. Christmas was one of Elliot's favourite days of the whole year. He would wake up his parents as soon as he saw presents under the tree and checked every hour. He was too excited to sleep so when his parents told him to go back to bed for a little while he would just stay up staring at his alarm clock. Elliot moved out when he was nineteen and one part he hated about it was now he had to wake up alone on Christmas and drive all the way to his parent's house. But now he was 21 and things were different. He had his wonderful girlfriend Kes. She made him the happiest he has ever been since he moved out 2 years ago.
Elliot held Kes close to his chest while they laid in bed watching cheesy Christmas movies under their fuzzy blankets. Kes had almost been asleep when Eli interrupted their sleepy and peaceful bliss, "Sunshine are you ready for bed? because if you are we need to get you changed into our matching PJs". "Mmmm" was the only so-called response he got before he knew to get her ready. He stripped the blankets off her to scoop her up by the thighs and settle her on his waist with legs wrapped around his back. "come on babe let's get you ready for bed" he said placing her down on the bathroom sink. Eli got Kes changed and her teeth brushed. He placed Kes into the bed as gently as possible and brushed her beautiful hair out of her content face. "Baby will you tell me a story please" Kes pleaded. "Hmm alright but only if you promise to give me cuddles if I do" he gave her those adorable puppy dog eyes. She scooted closer to snuggle into his chest and peck a few kisses on his face. "Okay, Sunshine I will tell you a story what do you want to hear?" She thought for a good minute and then gave him an answer he was surprised to hear. "Tell me what Christmas was like for you when you were a kiddo!"
Eli had been excited to hear that his sunshine cared about an essential part of his life. He took a deep breath and began his hour-long rant. "Well when I was little like around the age of 5 or 6-ish my brother and I would get up really early I'm talking like 2 AM to wake up our parents but they would always send us back to bed and tell us to give them about an hour. So like they said we would go back to our room for an hour but we would never really go back to bed we would just stay up staring at each other shaking with excitement. After we were sent back to our room for the 5th time they finally gave in at around 7 in the morning. We would buzz right down the hall into the living room to open gifts and wait for our grandparents to come over. They would always come over for our big holiday dinner. I always made dessert it was my job. then it would be all over and we would do it again next year." Elliot looked down at sunshine who was basically asleep now, he took the blankets and covered her in them like a little burrito and, gave her a kiss on the head and lips and to sleep they went. "goodnight sunshine I love you sleep well".
The next morning Kes was left to wake up in bed by themselves but was pleased by the smell of Elliot's famous waffles and bacon. Kes got Eli that waffle maker for his birthday. The waffles come out shaped like little Yoshi's. When she was shopping online she couldn't resist the urge to buy it so now it's become a very welcomed item in the house. Kes let out a big cat stretch and lifted the blankets off of them. She stumbled out of the bed and down the hall to hug her lovebug from behind while he was making their delightful breakfast. He jumped a little at her touch but not enough to scare him shitless. He turned around to give her a long passionate kiss and a proper hug. They sat down at their table together and ate their amazing breakfast. After coffee and waffles, they sat down on the couch to exchange their gifts with each other. "You know when I saw this in the store it was a must-get for you I just thought it was the perfect gift." Elliot beamed with joy as he handed the wrapped box to Kes. She tore right into it and screamed with happiness when she was what it was. Eli had gotten Kes a one-of-a-kind jumbo size hello kitty plushie it was almost 5 feet big and a bunch of full-size candy bars spilled out of the giant box. "Aww, Elliot I love it!" Kes was so very happy about her new plushie to add to the collection she had next to their bed. Kes had got up and walked to the kitchen so she could climb up onto the fridge to get into the cabinet above it. she pulled out a heavy box and handed it to Elliot who was holding them by the waist to make sure they wouldn't fall. They walked back to the couch so he could open it. Once the wrapping paper was off and the amazon box had been cut open he pulled out another box that said, Oculus Rift. He had almost dropped it in shock he was so more than excited to get started playing with it that he nearly clawed it open out of the box. "Thank you so much sunshine!" He wrapped her up in his arms and squeezed her so hard she thought her lungs popped. He was very excited so they spent the rest of the day playing with the VR headset. They had an amazing day with each other.
HEY KES I REALLY HOPED YOU ENJOYED THIS SHORT HOLIDAY FIC IM SO SORRY IT IS INCREDIBLY LATE BUT I GOT COVID AND COULDN'T GET OUT OF BED FOR A WEEK SO I NEEDED SOME RECOVERY TIME I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE STORY!!!!
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For what it's worth, I think all the signs point to you need to be in this relationship with her. Not because she was once your TC and it'd be cool. But rather, you two have grown and been apart. There's been space in distance and time between you two and BOTH of you, not just you, have always come back to it. If it wasn't meant to be or at least tried, you two wouldn't have found your way back to each other after six years. That's a lot of growing, maturing, and life experience, especially for you to gain. And you've clearly tried other relationships as has she. It sounds like her marriage is in the rocks (and hey, that can happen and be no one's fault. Sometimes the old college try doesn't succeed, but no shame in trying) and you're not exactly fulfilled in yours (again, no blame, no fault. Sometimes, it's simply what happens and things don't work out).
I'm not one to subscribe to fate, the universe, or destiny. But I think there is something there that points to what I said. This relationship should be tried because after six years of both of you trying to forget the other (it really sounds like she made a huge effort to do so to do right by her partner and you did right by backing off) something somehow throws you two back together and the feelings haven't changed (seems like they got more intense?)
If it wasn't meant to, at least be tried, one of you would have completely walked away. That happened with me and someone I fell in love deeply with (not a teacher, this friend is roughly same age). We were friends, I fell in love with them but never once thought they felt that way about me so I never pursued it. One day, they got angry at me for something stupid and 7 years ago, that was the last substantive talk we had.
I tried to reach out and apologize and explain how much they meant to me. A couple of times. The last time, I honestly thought there was an honest chance we could be friends and they'd be in my life again only to fall back to getting ignored and not even getting any responses to texts or messages. They walked away (why they humored me by accepting my apology, who knows). And I had to walk away because they made it clear they weren't interested in any kind of friendship.
If one of you didn't want this, one of you would have stopped this before it got too far, one of you would have had their feelings change after six years, one of you would have severed all contact. It seems like you two tried and... well... you're here now. But I'm just some rando on the internet that once had a TC that I also deeply loved.
Whatever you two decide to do, I'm sure it'll be for the best because going back to fate/destiny and how I don't believe it, the best is created not predetermined.
Anyways, I really am sorry for this word vomit, I only recently found this community (literally did not know it existed here) and your updates this year have been... well I'm rooting for you whatever you decide. Strange how we want happiness for strangers we don't know but share a similar experience.
Good luck!
I'm sorry for a late response on this. I started updating again because I just needed to get my feelings out. And this isn't something I'm checking often.
but wow, thank you for this message. I agree, it's hard not to feel like this is fated. For us to have so many years apart. For her to want to stay committed to her wife, but to still have these feelings for me. For me to try to let go, and still think of her. For us to come back together several times and also doing essentially no contact for those 6 years and still feel the same as we did before, and you're right, if not more intensely than before. It feels like it was suppose to play out this way. Why do we keep coming back together after trying to do everything we can to stay apart. Why do we both feel so deeply when our relationship was completely platonic before. Why is it so hard for us to let the other person go. And why am I so fucking scared to try. I gave her the option today to walk away, and she took it. I don't know if I'll hear from her again. I know I need the time to figure out what I want, but it hurts to know that she just said yes and walked away.
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience, and as you know, I know how it feels! So I can totally understand. My only advice is to continue to work on yourself and go through that healing and learning journey. You may never stop thinking about them, but you can still appreciate all the good times you had with them. Know that everything happens for a reason, and what's meant to be will be! It will all work out as planned for you. ❤️
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His Girl
Baji Keisuke x Reader
warnings: dom!baji, sub!fem!reader, toman AU, degradation kink, size kink, gun kink, NSFW 18+, fingering, cunnilingus, idfk what else to put here
a/n: this was kind of rushed but i was suddenly motivated to write a baji smut so here you go all you horny readers :)
sorry if this sucks, terrible case of writers block lately. btw everyone’s aged up !
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everyone who knew baji knew that he was a man who kept his priorities straight. those priorities consisted of toman, his few friends, business, and ever since two years ago- you. despite what everyone assumed, you were okay with not being his first priority. it was normal for you to stay up til the latest hours of the night, awaiting his arrival. it was normal for you to wake up with a cold, empty spot beside you on the mattress.
you never bothered him about what it exactly was that he did inside of toman, or what his so called “business” really was. you knew he was a bit shady, but at the end of the day, when he’s pulling you closer into his chest at 4 a.m., breathing in your scent and peppering kisses onto your forehead, it didn’t matter.
everyone from moebius to valhalla knew that you were his girl. of course, there had been a few instances in the past where baji had to get his hands dirty and correct a few guys for looking at you in the way that only he can look at you.
despite what had become the norm, tonight was different. you were cozy on the couch in the apartment you shared with your boyfriend, a blanket wrapped around your form that was covered with only one of baji’s t-shirts and your lace undies. you sipped on your hot chocolate, slightly jumping as a weak knock sounded on the door.
you got up and went on your tippy toes to peek through the tiny hole, and as you expected you saw baji, his scratched up face and tired eyes looking downwards. your delicate fingers took care of all of the extra locks baji had installed, and you opened the door swiftly.
“finally! i was waiting for yo-” you froze as you looked up at him, his usually narrowed eyes now slightly wider and teary. “baby? what’s the matter?” you took your hand, much smaller than his own, and grabbed his arm to pull him inside before closing and locking the door behind him.
“s too much.. can’t do it ‘nymore…” he muttered, his head now collapsing onto your shoulder. you ran a hand through his black locks as he stood up straight, peering down at you with that same, sad and guilty look. you planted a kiss on his jaw and cupped his cheek. “what’s too much, my love?”
he only looked into your eyes, not speaking as his brows furrowed and a tear silently fell, staining his cheek. he brought his face closer and your lips connected, his tongue rapidly entering your mouth and exploring it with dominance.
“mmh… w-wait, aauh..” you mumbled into his mouth, trying to speak to him. with prior consent, both you and baji had agreed on a safe word and so, naturally, protests such as ‘wait’ or ‘stop’ or ‘slow down,’ meant absolutely nothing to him.
he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist, his hands resting under your thighs and slamming you down onto the bed that you shared. you looked up at him with lust-filled eyes, and his expression darkened as he bent down and tore apart your thighs.
“look at you…” he chuckled against your skin, nibbling on your inner thigh and running a finger along your clothed slit. “such a fucking mess for me already.” you could tell he was getting a kick out of you feeling embarrassed, and it was his sick way of making you feel good.
he looked up at you once more and you nodded before he tore apart your panties, hungrily eyeing your glistening womanhood that ached for his touch. the first warm lick against your sensitive bud caused you to shiver, and after enjoying your reaction he utterly devoured your pussy. two of his skilled fingers entered your hole without warning, causing you to gasp and arch your back in ecstasy.
the pink muscle continued to suck and flick at your clit, your core immediately tightening, the coil nearly snapping. “s so good… gon’ cum s-s-soon.” you purred, and he gripped your thighs even harder than before, lapping at your folds and chuckling into your pussy, the vibrations causing you to snap.
the coil became fully undone, your orgasm hitting you like a fucking bus, your legs shaking and a loud moan invading your room. “that’s my fucking girl. such a good little cumslut, yeah?” you mindlessly nodded in response, lost in bliss. you snapped back to reality when a small click could be heard, and a cold metal was pressed between your thighs.
in his slender hand you saw his gun, and you jumped up, pulling away. “relax, it’s not loaded... just looks so good next to that pretty pussy.” he rubbed the edge of it up and down your slit, and as you came down from your orgasm you sure as hell were ready for more. you needed more.
“i want you…” you said, making grabby hands in the direction of his dick. the gun slid into your mouth as you whimpered in response. “suck.” he ordered, and you knew better than to disobey him.
“you want what? my big cock in that tight cunt?” he grunted in your ear and you nodded, gagging over and over again on his gun as he continued to push it down your throat. you looked up at him beneath your lashes, your cheeks hollowing as strings of saliva ran down his hand. “fuck… don’t look at me like that.”
he unclasped his belt and looked down at you. despite his rough tone and usual severe degradation towards you, his eyes were asking for consent, to which you nodded. he positioned himself at your entrance and slowly slid in, inch by fucking inch. once you were stuffed full of his eight inches, he huffed and leaned in to your ear, thrusting once without warning.
you mewled loudly, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he chuckled, basking in the feeling off your velvety walls pulsating around him. “you’re a bigger whore than i thought… already screaming for me and i’ve barely,” he trusted once more as you moaned, “fucking,” and again he thrusted even harder, “started.”
“kei… s-slow down.” you gasped, clawing at his chest and leaving crescent shaped marks along his shoulders. “what?” he chuckled, “you want me to slow down?” he imitated you by slightly raising his voice before grabbing your neck and pulling you upwards, his lips now touching the shell of your ear. “can’t take my fat cock in that tiny little pussy, hah..”
baji paid special attention to the way your cunt sucked in his girth, groaning at the sight of your throbbing clit begging to be touched by him. he knew your body so well at this point that your walls had molded to shape him, that his eyes flickered to that one spot of your lower stomach, now staring at the bulge that gently bobbed up and down beneath your skin. hell, your pussy was made to take his cock so fucking well.
“f-fuck.. gah.. k-kei, im-” “close? already?” he cut you off. you nodded hastily in response, feeling that familiar warm sensation in your stomach that only he could make you feel. he pressed his hand down on your lower stomach, his dick twitching at the feeling of him inside of you. “fucking pathetic… you can barely last with me fucking your brains out, hm? you’re my dirty fucking slut, aren’t ya?”
you looked up and looked eyes with him, your expression begging to gush all over his length. “y-yes.. ‘m your sl-slut.” you choked on your own words, feeling the air knock out of your lungs as his tip brushed against your cervix and provided a pleasurable sting. baji felt your walls clench around him at his words.
“you dirty little whore… you like being degraded this much, hah?” you didn’t reply as drool seeped down your chin and tears of immeasurable pleasure pricked the corners of your eyes. “i’m fucking talking to you,” he said rather angrily, gripping your throat.
“s-sorry, ‘m gunna cum!” you said loudly, moaning into his sloppy kiss and looking into his eyes as he pulled away and squeezed your throat, cutting off your oxygen almost completely. “yeah? you’re gonna cum soon? gonna cum all over my big cock, right?” he replied with a question, and your vision began to blur.
the biggest orgasm of your life was now pooling in your stomach, and baji knew it too. a smug smirk crept its way onto his face as he cupped your breast and squeezed it gently with his free hand, the other one still lying on your throat. “y-yes… gon’ cum all o-over yer’ f-fat… agh.. cock.”
relaying back to baji that his cock was, in fact, huge was all it took for him to nibble at your shoulder and bring a thumb to your clit before rubbing sloppy circles over it. the coil then snapped, and your orgasm hit you like a crashing wave. you thrashed around underneath him, a pleasurable cry filling the room as your legs shook and he gripped your thighs, watching as your cunt tightened and gushed around him.
“that’s my girl… creaming around me. open wide.” he instructed, and you shivered at the nickname before parting your lips and opening your mouth. he pumped his length dry of all his salty cum that was now dripping down your chin, breasts, lips, and was on your tongue. “swallow.”
you then collapsed after doing as he said as he got up, collecting a warm wash cloth and a glass of water for you. he gently wiped you clean, planting small kisses across your body, all the way from your calves to your forehead. you had to admit, baji’s aftercare was good as hell. he then used a soothing lotion to rub circles on your back, legs, and neck, before handing you the glass of water and collapsing next to you.
your legs tangled together within the soft sheets and warm blankets, and your head was now on his chest as he tangled his fingers in your hair, running them through your locks. you looked up at him and planted two kisses on his jaw as he looked down at you in awe.
“you were so good for me.” he said, and wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you in even closer. the feeling of your warm, naked bodies resting against each other was enough to warm his entire heart, and the smile that you gave him as he kissed your forehead was enough to make his heart flutter.
“did you wanna tell me what happened tonight? you know… why you came back all scratched up and sad?” you asked, and he hesitated to reply before grabbing your hips and pulling you on top of him. his back now rested against the headboard, and he pulled you closer so that your foreheads were now touching.
“i wish…” he hesitated again, and you cupped his cheek in attempt to reassure him everything would be ok. “i wish we could spend more time together, so we could cuddle and go out that’s all.” your heart picked up the pace as your eyes widened and a smile spread across your lips.
“aah… you’re so adorable, kei.” you ruffled his hair and planted a kiss on his lips, his hands still gripping your bare hips. “i wish we could too… but i understand you’re busy.” his stomach dropped at your words, did you really think you weren’t more important to him than his ‘job?’
he took a hand and gently ran it up the side of your body, all the way to your cheek, staring into your eyes as if he was deep in thought. “you know you’re the most important thing to me, right?” you nodded in response, his heart aching at the realization that there was nothing he could do to improve the amount of time he actually got to see you.
“let’s just make the most out of the time we do have together.”
#tokyo revengers#anime#smut#tokyo revengers baji#baji keisuke#tokyo revengers smut#baji x reader#baji#baji smut#im too#lazy#to put more tags#enjoy#i hope yall like it
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Golden Guard x Reader- True Colours
A/N: I wanted to get back into the swing of things before redoing the requests. There may or may not be a few Amphibia references in here…since i watched it quite recently...
Spoilers for Hunting Palisman.
Also anyone get the reference of the title?
Being in the Emperor’s Coven wasn’t easy. From battling monsters and demons to rogue witches and a certain human, I was surprised I was still alive. A regular guard was just a pawn for the Emperor. Yet, I had no choice, since my parents had already planned my future while I was still young. I wanted to make them proud, and I really did try. But it seems like being a normal guard in the Emperor’s Coven wasn’t enough. I needed to go bigger, eliminate anyone in my way if I had to. I was going to do it for them, and for my lost Palisman, Froggit.
(IT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT CAME TO MIND-)
Standing at attention, I watched all the servants and guards walk by. I was assigned outside the Throne room today. Kikimori happened to be walking by as the door opened. She gasped. “Golden Guard?! You’re alive! I heard about the crash-“
The “Golden Guard” came into view. He greeted Kiki, and I had the time to observe him. He was about my age, with blonde hair, red eyes, and a scar on his right cheek. As he walked away from Kikimori, he looked my way.
I hadn’t realised I had turned to face them. Quickly standing to attention, I stiffened as he stopped in front of me. “Sir.” I saluted. He raised an eye-brow, looking at my badge. (Ima just pretend the badges have names engraved into them in small lettering or something). “Haven’t seen you around here much. When did you join the Emperor’s Coven?” He asked casually. I glared through my mask. “Two weeks ago, sir.” I replied, trying my best to keep my voice calm.
He smiled. “Well, miss ‘Y/N’, it’s nice to meet you. The names Hunter.” I didn’t reply back. After a few minutes of silence, he sighs. “Welp, I better be going. See you around.”
As he walked away, I let my shoulders relax a bit. Glaring after him, I watched him disappear. So, a higher rank, right? Well, we’ll see about that. Don’t try to chit-chat me, Hunter. You’re nothing but a rival.
Later that evening…
I let out a yawn. It was late, and I was the only guard patrolling this side of the castle. Lifting my mask to rub my tired eyes, I heard a loud bang, followed by yelp of pain. “Palisman!” Someone hissed. Pulling my mask back down, I held my staff out. “COME OUT! I KNOW YOU’RE THERE!” I yelled out. There was nothing but silence.
Turning a corner, I caught someone running away, carrying something. “Hey!” I gave chase, following the intruder down the corridors. As I ran, I realised they seemed to know exactly where they were going. Running by halls that lead to dead ends, and avoiding doors that entered into closed off rooms. Using my staff, I sped up, running in front of the witch. He came to a stop, almost tripping. Holding out my staff, I was about to zap him, when I realised it was Hunter. A small, red bird Palisman sat on his shoulder.
I smirked under my mask. Hiding a Palisman? One that has wild magic? This was treason. Oh, Emperor Belos is going to love this.
“You stay here.” I stated, using a spell to keep him in place. As he struggled, I began to walk off. If he’d been keeping a wild Palisman, who knew what he could do with it. Best to retrieve back-up, and quickly.
As I turned my back, he yelled out to me. “Wait! Don’t tell Belos!” Ignoring him, I continued. “I know what he does to them! He kills them!”
Stopping, I turned back to the Golden Guard. “What do you mean by that?” I questioned cautiously.
Hunter closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. “Emperor Belos isn’t a witch. I don’t know what he is, or what happened to him. All I know is that he uses the magic in the Palismans to keep himself powerful and in a stable condition.”
My mind went to Froggit, my Palisman before I joined the Coven. He went missing as soon as I joined…he couldn’t have…
“Y-you’re lying, aren’t you?” I growled. The Palisman sitting on his shoulder chirped. After a moment of silence, I released the Golden guard. Turnng my back to him once again, I growled under my breath.
“Get out of here before I change my mind.”
Hunter didn’t need to be asked twice. Making sure the Palisman wasn’t hurt, he left, returning to his dorm.
About an hour later, another guard took over my shift. Rushing back to my dorm, I leaned against the door.
It couldn’t be true. Emperor Belos would never hurt my Palisman, would he?
I let out a shaky breath. He couldn’t have…right?
Finishing up my carving, I stared lovingly at the Frog as I held it up to the sunlight. “And done! Welcome to the world little buddy!” I whispered, blowing the flakes away. Smiling widely, I placed the wooden frog on my bedside table. All I had to do now was wait. He should wake up in a few minutes.
Leaning back on my bed, I picked up my book, looking at all the human creatures inside. I loved looking at all the pictures, and even chose one as my Palisman. There were so many amazing creatures, for awhile I couldn’t pick. I had finally settled for a “frog”, since they sounded so amazing.
Hearing a croak, I looked up from my book. My new Palisman had woken up, and was crawling around and curiously peering at the objects on my bed stand.
“Hey there little guy.” I cooed, picking him up. He let out another croak. “Welcome to the Boiling Isles! You’re so cute!”
He tilted his head curiously in my direction, letting out another excited croak. Giggling, I gently pet him.
“I’ll keep you safe Froggit. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
I jolted awake, rubbing my teary eyes as I sat up. Silent sobs threatened to erupt from my throat. Taking a few minutes to calm myself, I inhaled slowly.
This wasn’t a coincidence, wasn’t it? Froggit was gone, and I had failed to protect him. He had probably died a horrible death, scared and all alone.
Checking the window, I noticed the sun was rising. I had to get ready for today.
As I stood up, I felt my stomach squirm in guilt. Looking around my room, i grabbed a satchel, collecting things and preparing. I had to get out of here. I was NOT going to work with a Coven that murdered my Palisman, no matter what my parents say. I would have failed them, but nothing was worse than knowing I had failed my Palisman, my only friend.
A loud knock came from the door. Looking up, I stared hard at the door. Who could that be? I’m not late for something, am I?
The knocking came again. Walking over, I opened the door to find Kikimori there. She seemed to be glaring daggers into my soul, even though she was way shorter than me.
“The Emperor wants to speak with you immediately.” She stated, walking away.
Why does the Emperor want to see me?
I took off my mask as I stood in front of the throne room. My knees shook thinking over the things the Golden Guard had said the night previously. The Emperor wasn’t who I thought he was, and that thought alone terrified me.
Clutching my mask, I opened the doors. Mutterings were coming from the other side of the room as I entered. Walking along the corridor, I took note that a few guards, as well as the Golden Guard and Emperor Belos were in the room. Belos was talking to the Golden Guard, but stopped when I entered. I bowed down to the Emperor, as I felt his eyes bare into my soul.
“You must be Y/N L/N, right? Hunter has told me so much about you.” He stated. I bowed my head, keeping an eye on Hunter. He seemed to be distracted, since he didn’t seem to be paying attention to us.
“He’s told me of all your hard work so far, and that you’re trust worthy. So, I have made up my mind.”
He stood up, grabbing onto his staff. What was he doing?
“You’ve been moved up to Captain of the guards, since ours has…retired. How does that sound?”
Shocked, I glanced up to Hunter. His eyes were averted, refusing to look at me.
“I-it’s an honour, my lord…” I stuttered. “B-but, I-i’m just a humble guard, there’s no need to put me as Captain so soon-“
I was cut off as something headed my way, barely missing me by a hair. I stiffened, following the pointed object toward the Emperor. It was….his…arm….
He took the object away. “I'm afraid you don’t have a choice in this matter. Your first mission starts tonight. You’ll be accompanied by Hunter. You’ll be given your badge in the morning.” He waves his hand, signifying I could leave.
I nodded. “Y-yes, my Lord.” With that, I placed my helmet back on, walking briskly out of the room.
Opening the door, I jumped a little when Kikimori was waiting on the other side. She said nothing, just simply glared at me then left.
After watching her disappear around the corner, I let out an angry sigh. What was I gonna do?
Later that night….
The Golden Guard was standing beside me, steering the ship we flew in. There was an awkward silence for the first 10 minutes of the flight, with both of us avoiding eye contact. Apparently, we were meant to be looking for Palismans.
“So…everything you said the other night was true.” I mumbled. The Golden guard hummed in response. “Unfortunately, yes.”
Another silence ensured.
“I wasn’t expecting him to make you Captain. I just wanted to help you out a bit, since you helped me. I’m sorry if it wasn’t what you wanted…” I let out a sigh. “It’s fine."
That’s when he turned to me. His eyes were filled with sympathy. “I’m also sorry about your Palisman…”
I whipped around to face him. “How-“
“It’s not hard. Everyone has a Palisman when they first arrive. They disappear after the first week, and given a “new and improved” staff. It’s becoming more common. Only a few are allowed to keep their Palismans.” He stated, his brows furrowing as his gaze returned to the horizon.
“You seem to know a fair bit.” I said. He shrugged. “One of the few perks of being the Emperor’s right-hand man.”
I nodded understandingly. Being right-hand man couldn’t have been easy. There would’ve been many people trying to back-stab him. I WAS one of them.
“…what was it like? Your Palisman?” He asked curiously. I smiled under my mask. “He was my best friend. A lot of people questioned why I chose a monster from the human realm, but it didn’t matter. I loved him almost like my own child…” I felt the tears threatening to overflow once again. Hunter smiled. “He sounded nice.” I looked over to him curiously. “You say that as if you’ve never had a Palisman.”
His eyes widened, before he turned his face away from me. “…this Palisman is actually my first. I didn’t do well in school, so I never achieved my staff.” Was all he replied. Great. Now I felt bad. “I’m sorry…"
He chuckled. “It’s alright. There wasn’t a chance you could’ve known.”
Letting out a sigh, I took my mask off. What was the point of hiding my face while meeting a new friend?
Letting my hair fall down, I hear Hunter let out a small gasp. I raise an eyebrow, turning my gaze to him. His eyes were wide open, staring at me. “What are you looking at?”
“You…you’re beautiful…”
My own eyes widened, and I felt my cheeks heat up. Hunter realised that he said it out loud, and his own face lit up. “I-i’m so sorry! I-“
“Just be quiet.” I growled, turning away so then Hunter wouldn’t see me.
The ship shook, and I felt it begin to fall rapidly toward the ground. I watched in terror as the ground came closer, and I blacked out as we hit the ground.
“Hey! Y/n, wake up!” Someone hissed quietly.
I let out a groan as I opened my tired eyes. Hunter was gently shaking me, looking around frantically at his surroundings. “W-what happened?” I grumbled, sitting up. Hunter clasped a hand over my mouth. I was about to object, when he pointed to a certain short monster on the other side of the rocks.
It was Kikimori, and she did not look happy. She seemed to be carrying a stone. I recognised it from history books. They made the possessor stronger.
“I KNOW YOU’RE HERE GOLDEN GUARD! AND I KNOW WHAT YOU DID THE OTHER NIGHT!” She shrieked. My brows furrowed, looking toward Hunter. “What is she talking about?” I hissed. He reached for his broken staff. I hadn’t noticed that before. “I’ll explain later. Right now, we need to get out of here.” He whispered back.
Without warning, he grabbed my hand, leading me away from the angry monster.
Once we were far enough away, I pulled my hand free from his. “What the hex was that about?!” I yelled. Hunter let out a sigh. “Look, the other night I was assigned to collect Palismans. I told my Uncle that I had failed, but the real reason was that I let them go. Kiki and the human Luz was involved and…things just got out of hand.” He was looking down at his feet.
“If I told him what had really happened, then he would kill both of us…”
I listened carefully. When he was finished, I smiled softly. ‘Hey…you did the right thing.” I said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Surprised for a moment, Hunter smiled.
“So, what are we gonna do? We can’t tell your Uncle we failed to retrieve them again. He’d find out for sure.” I said. Hunter thought for a moment, before a smirk crossed his features. “Not unless we disappeared.”
I stared blankly at him for a moment. What did he mean by that?
“What do you mean?”
“Alright, this is the plan.”
Waiting outside the castle, I tapped my foot impatiently. Hunter had gone into the castle to retrieve his Palisman, leaving me outside to wait. It had been 10 minutes already. Shouldn’t he be back by now?
Something must’ve happened.
Letting out a growl, I clutched my staff, heading inside. Once inside, I passed a few of the guards. None tried stopping me, just giving a nod as I passed by. They took note of my badge it seemed.
As I walked pass the throne room, I halted when I heard a cry of pain come from within.
“NO, PLEASE! DON’T HURT HIM!”
That was Hunter.
Rushing over, I swung the doors open. There was Hunter, being held by two guards. Kikimori held his Palisman, about to hand it over to Emperor Belos. Everyone stopped what they were doing when I entered, turning to face me. Emperor Belos was the only one to recognise me.
“Ah, Y/n! A nice surprise! No need for any assistance. You see, Hunter here has been keeping secrets from us.” He stated gesturing to Hunter. “But Kikimori has saved us by warning us of his treason. He’ll be thrown into the dungeon shortly, and this…Palisman will be dealt with.”
At that, Kikimori was about to hand the Palisman to the Emperor. Rage filled me, and before I realised what I was doing, I had sent a spell their way. The Palisman was thrown from Kikimori’s hands, falling to the ground out of reach.
Everyone let out a gasp.
Tears overflowed from my eyes as rage coursed through me. “No one else’s Palisman’s are getting hurt under my watch.” I growled. Belos straightened his posture. “I see. You’re a traitor to our kind. Guards, get her!” He yelled. The guards holding Hunter let him go, charging toward me.
Using my staff, I quickly defeated them, swinging my staff against their skulls. Both fell unconscious.
Without thinking, I charged Belos. He killed my Palisman.
Before my staff made contact with him, he used his own magic to throw me against the wall. Yelping in pain, I stumbled to my feet. My vision was still blurry from the impact, hence why I didn’t see Belos walking towards me.
I was pushed back against the wall. Something was piercing into my neck, and I realised it was the Emperor’s staff.
“You’ll have the same fate as your Palisman.” He hissed.
Choking for air, my vision was getting darker and darker as I stared murderously into Belos’ eyes. I finally felt myself drop to the ground, the Emperor letting out a groan of pain as he was attacked from the side.
Strong hands lifted me up, helping me limp away from the scene. Hunter got his Palisman ready, ordering me to get on. Doing so, I left my staff lying on the ground, clutching his waist tightly as we escaped the castle.
I buried my face in Hunters shoulder as we flew over the Boiling Isles. Neither of us had spoken for a while, and honestly I was too shocked. Finally, Hunter spoke up. “Thank you for that. That was very courageous of you to stand up to him. Are you ok?”
“Y-yeah, I’m ok…where are we going? Do you have a place in mind?” I asked, looking down at our surroundings. We were near Bones Marrow (was that what it was called?), and I curious if he had a destination. Hunter smiles at my question. “I have a friend nearby. We’ll seek shelter there if she’ll allow it.” With that, he neared the forest floor, landing quietly in the bushes.
I looked up at the building in front of us. I knew this place, although I’d never been to it myself. This was the Owl House, home of one of the most powerful witches on the Isle, Eda the Owl lady. Well, WAS the most powerful.
Hunter walked up the doorstep, and was about to knock when a large owl tube on the door spoke up, startling both of us. “OOH VISITORS! FROM THE EMPEROR COVEN TOO! HAVE YOU COME HERE TO BE MY FRIEND?!”
The door opened, revealing Luz the human. Her smile lit up when she realised it was Hunter. “Hunter! Hi! What are you doing here? And who’s your friend? You aren’t…here to arrest me, are you?” She asked suspiciously, closing the door ajar as she squinted her eyes. I almost laughed at how childish she was.
“No, sorry to disappoint. Me and my friend were going to ask if we could stay for awhile? We…kinda left the coven.” Hunter said, gesturing to himself and I. I gave a little wave. Luz’s eyes widened in surprise, her smile returning. “Of course! Come in! We have…room for two more!”
Opening the door, she let us inside. Hunter stepped in first, but was stopped by an ice wall. He let out a yelp of surprise, and Luz was yelling at someone. “Lillith! Be nice!” Lillith? Where have I heard that name? It clicked when I caught sight of her.
There, in what I assumed to be human clothes, stood Lillith, my role model ever since I was a small witchling. I almost jumped up and down in excitement, if it wasn’t for the shock of the ice bars between us.
“Human! This is the Golden Guard! We can’t let him in here! What if it’s a trick?!” Lillith shrieked. Luz tried to calm her down, explaining that he’d changed.
Another woman stepped into the room, followed by a small demon with a skull on his head. “Alright, what’s going on here?” She muttered. Luz sighed in relief. “Oh thank god you’re here, Eda. My friends need a place to stay, and-“
Eda?
Lillith cut her off. “HE’S THE GOLDEN GUARD! It could be a trap!” She screamed, gesturing to the two of us. Hunter didn’t say anything, just let out a nervous chuckle. Eda only stared at us tiredly. “…..if it’s a trap we won’t hesitate to knock em’ out cold. Just let em in.” She grumbled, sitting on the couch as she drank something from out of a cup. Lillith stuttered indignantly, while Luz used what I assumed a random piece of paper to create fire. Melting the bars, she let the two of us inside.
A few minutes later, Hunter and I were sitting beside each other on two chairs, while Lillith, Luz, and Eda were sitting on the couch. He had just finished explaining what had happened with Emperor Belos mere hours before. Lillith had her arms crossed, staring at us suspiciously, while Eda was peacefully sipping at her apple-blood. Luz was holding the little demon, who I found out was named King.
Luz spoke up first. “So…now you’re wanted criminals?” She asked, concerned. Hunter pat his Palisman. “It would appear so.” He muttered. Lillith didn’t say anything, but it was obvious from her body language she didn’t trust us.
Eda the owl lady smiled comfortingly. “Well, I guess an enemy to Belos is a friend of mine. Welcome to the Owl House kids.” She chuckled. “Thank you.” I replied. Luz pointed accusingly at me. “AHA! YOU DO SPEAK!” She yelled. I chuckled. “So what’s your name, kid?” Eda asked.
“I’m Y/n. Nice to meet you all. Especially you Lillith!” She turned to me, raising a brow. “Why’s that, witchling?”
“You’ve always been a role-model for me! I feel so honoured meeting you in person!” I said, my smile brightening to finally have an opportunity to speak to my hero. Lillith smiled. “Thank you, witchling.”
A few weeks later…
Hunter and I had officially moved into the Owl House. It was a bit crowded but it became our home. Eda was teaching Hunter how to take care of his Palisman, plus how to use and treat it. I on the other hand, began to classes with Lillith and Luz, learning how to master glyphs. Sure, I still had my powers, but in case of emergencies I wanted to learn about these strange little symbols.
We had become wanted criminals that day, and our wanted posters were stuck up all over the Boiling Isles.
I felt a light tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I realised it was Hunter. “Hey Y/n, I have a surprise for you.” He said, grabbing my hand and leading me away from the Owl house. Dragging me through town, we snuck by many wanted posters of us.
He finally stopped outside of Hexside, a school I had once attended before joining the Emperor’s Coven. Knocking on the door, Principal Bump opened. “Ah, good you’re here! Just in time too!” He whispered, taking down another poster that was stuck to his door. He smiled down at the two of us. “Good to see you again Y/n. Come this way!”
Leading us onto the Grudgby field, I noticed Eda was standing beside a large, wooden stump. She walked over to us excitedly. “Y/n! Hunter had told us what had happened to your Palisman, so Bumpy, Hunter and I decided to give you a little surprise. I introduce to you…”
The Bat Queen flew down, landing on the stump and opening the door. Many Palismans with cracks ran out, looking around curiously. “To the Palismans! These little guys need a good home again, and one lucky one may pick you.”
My eyes widened in awe, as I clasped my hands over my mouth. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I hugged Hunter, who was standing beside me. “THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!” I cried.
Realising what I was doing, my face heated up, and I immediately let go, looking away in embarrassment. He did the same, scratching his neck as a pink flush covered his cheeks.
Eda chuckled at our interaction. “Alright. All you gotta do is kneel down, say a goal you want to achieve and one should choose you.” She stated. I grinned as I knelt down, looking at all the cute Palismans scuttling about. “I want a powerful Palisman to help protect those I care about.” I said. One Palisman began to glow. It looked like a lizard from the human realm, but with a scorpion tail and sharp claws. I held out my hands as it turned into a staff, landing gently in my hands as the Palisman happily growled. My grin widened as I looked excitedly back at Hunter, hugging the Palisman close.
Everything was going to be ok now.
A/N: HOLY CRAP FINISHING THIS I REALISED IT PRETTY MUCH TURNED INTO A FULL BLOWN NOVEL-
#golden guard#hunter#toh#the owl house#spoilers#the owl house season 2#self insert#golden guard x reader#hunter x reader#x reader#reader included#reader#toh s2
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Unfinished Business ~ Ron Weasley
Pairing: gamer! gamer!Ron Weasley x fem!Reader
Summary: Ron has been gaming with his friends for too long, so you take matters into your own hands.
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: smut, 18+ themes, exhibition (?), oral,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ron you’ve been playing for hours, I thought you said you’d be done in 20 minutes?” I sighed, flipping over on the bed behind his gaming set up. The dual screens flashed different things, one being a chat room, the other was the game.
“I will, we just have to do this before we can get off,” Ron said, not taking his eyes away from the screen.
“That was 2 hours ago, I thought we’d spend some time together tonight since it’s the first night off I’ve had in ages,” I whined. The lace set I had slipped on after my shower to surprise Ron with was now itchy and uncomfortable, these things aren’t meant to be worn this long.
“Just a minute babe,” he said, his eyes still glued to the screens in front of him. I decided to try something after another 10 minutes of keyboard clicking and him talking to the boys over headset.
Making sure his camera was off, I quietly stripped out of the sleep set I had on, finally revealing the lacy set. I threw my shorts over at Ron, landing right on his shoulder.
“What the-, oh bloody hell,” he said as he turned around and saw me in his favorite set.
“Hey,” I said, walking over to him. I heard him mute his mic quickly.
“How long have you been wearing that…” he asked, his eyes fixed on my hips as they swayed.
“Long enough, but go ahead and play your game, I know you promised them you’d finish this game,” I said, kneeling down in front of him.
“What are you- oh fuck,” he moaned out as my hands palmed his erection through his pants.
“Go ahead and keep playing. I can hear them asking you where you are,” I winked as I released his dick from the confines of his pants, pumping it slowly and feeling him get even harder.
“Hey guys, sorry about that. I uhhh, I just had to get some water.” He said as he unmuted himself, watching me in disbelief as I licked up his length before swirling my tongue around his tip, collecting any pre-cum.
He let out a low groan as I took as much of him in my mouth as I could, but quickly covered it up with a cough when he remembered his friends could hear him.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just a tickle in my throat, haha,” he rushed out in response to the boy’s questions.
I bobbed my head and hollowed my cheeks as I took more of his length in my mouth, swirling my tongue on the tip as I reached the top. His hand pushed my hair into a makeshift ponytail, lightly pulling on my hair the way I like.
I looked up at him and found his head dropped back and mouth open as he tried to hold back his moans. Right as he started to buck his hips up, I released him from my mouth and sat back on my heels.
“How’s the game going babe?” I smirked, pumping his length in my hand as I look up at him.
“...tell her we say hi!” I heard Harry say over headset.
“Actually, why don’t you tell her yourself. Here you go babe, the boys want to talk to you,” Ron smirked, pulling the headset off and placing it on me.
“Hey…” I said slowly, confused at the smirk on Ron’s face. Ron stood me up and swiftly switched so that I was in the chair and he was kneeling on the ground.
“Hey! How have you been?” Harry responded.
“I’ve been...great!” I breathed out as Ron’s hands slid up and pushed my legs up so they would rest on the arms of the chair. My breathing hitched as his thumb brushed over my clothed clit, rubbing agonizingly slow circles.
“How’s work? I heard you’ve been pretty busy lately,” Dean asked me.
“Oh um, yeah! Quidditch season is always busy at the hospital…” I said quickly, trying not to moan as Ron’s finger pushed the lingerie aside so he could swipe his tongue through my folds.
“Are you okay? It sounds like you’re out of breath?” Neville asked, sounding a bit worried. I bit my lip and let out a sigh as Ron swirled his tongue around my clit.
“Yeah! Yeah! I um…. I just got done working out,” I lied, bucking my hips up as Ron continued lapping up my juices.
“I didn’t know you worked out! Do you want a gym buddy? Ginny keeps trying to recruit me for it, but I don’t think I can handle that,” Harry laughed.
“That’s...that’s a good idea, but- I only just started and I think she would kick my ass,” I stumbled as Ron sat back and used his thumb to circle over my clit, smirking when I stumbled on a word.
After swiping his tongue through my pussy for a final time, Ron held my hands and pulled me up, holding me tight as his lips attached to my neck. If it weren’t for the tight grip on my waist, I’d be a puddle on the floor right now. He flipped me around so that I was facing the monitor and his back was pressed up against mine.
“Hey boys, do you mind if she plays a round while I go grab a snack really quick?” Ron said into the mic of the headset.
“Sure! You know what you’re doing, right?” Dean asked me.
“Uh, yeah… I’ve watched Ron play it enough, I think I can figure it out,” I said, a bit confused as to what Ron’s plan was.
As the next round started, he pressed his hand to the middle of my shoulder blades and pushed me down so that I was bent over in front of the desk. His hands smacked my ass lightly a couple times before he pulled the lingerie aside again and swiped the head of his cock through.
“Oh fuck,” I said quietly as he slowly pushed into me, filling me inch by inch.
“You alright?” Harry asked.
“Yeah, I-uh, I just fell off something, that’s all,” I said.
“I hate when I do that, it’s the worst,” Neville chimed in.
I stumbled through the game as I tried to focus on something other than the way Ron’s cock was stretching me out right now. His pace was slow and steady, fully taking himself out before slowly sheathing himself back into me.
“Hmmm, is there any way to go faster?” I asked the boys, but hoping that Ron caught onto my message.
“If you press the CTRL key, you should run faster,” Harry said. I barely heard him though because Ron thankfully did catch on. He pounded into me at a much better pace, causing my tits to bounce out of the low-cut lingerie and my breathing to pick back up again. His hand snaked around to toy with one of my nipples as his other one guided my hips back onto him. It took everything in me not to scream with pleasure as he hit all the right spots.
I accidentally let out a loud whine as I came on Ron’s cock, causing the boys to ask questions.
“I died,” I quickly said to cover up the noise.
“You lasted longer than I did, I died a while ago,” Dean said.
Ron was panting as he continued pounding me, trying not to make too much noise. It wasn’t long before me pulled out and finished on the small of my back. He pressed a couple kisses to my back before heading to our bathroom to grab a towel.
“Not that we don’t love playing with you, but is Ron back yet? I feel like this is the longest he’s taken to get a snack,” Harry said once the round was over.
“Ah-ha, here he is! Thanks for letting me play you guys, I’ll let you all talk to Ron,” I said as Ron came in with a towel. He cleaned me up as the boys said their Chorus of goodbye’s before I put the headset back on him.
Ron immediately muted the mic and pressed a hot kiss to my lips, “That was quite possibly the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, holy fuck.”
“Oh you’re not off the hook yet. We have some lost time to make up from earlier,” I smirked before pressing a kiss to his lips and crawling onto our bed.
“Hey guys, so it looks like I’ve gotta head off here. There’s some, um, unfinished business that I need to take care of,” Ron said before logging off and pouncing on top of me, attacking me with kisses and love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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@a-malfoy @amityyyjade @amourtentiaa @dracos-apple01 @georgeswh0re @lim-bus @partr1dge @weasleywhore07 @willowestelle
#harry potter smut#smut#hp smut#weasley smut#ron weasley x y/n#ron weasley x reader smut#ron weasley x reader#ron weasley smut#gamer ron weasley#gamer!ron weasley
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