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nnight-dances · 11 months

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REPETITION / RARE LOVE

pairings: kim mingyu x fem!reader (ft. yoon jeonghan)

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive & sexual content

tropes: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers (except mingyu's the only idiot), pining, flirting

warnings: explicit language, banter, alcohol consumption, borderline jeonghan slander but it's okay because i would die for the man, has been proofread by me once but only barely. kazuha (le sserafim) is your roommate, huh yunjin is present.

WHAT TO EXPECT

it's simple enough: you and mingyu are perfect for each other. you've told him as much but after years of him avoiding the topic, you leave him alone. but when your long-time infatuation with jeonghan gets rejected, you have nothing to distract you from your desire to be with mingyu. all it takes is you making out with the wrong person and a can of beer for mingyu to come to his senses. (about 11k)

OR: maybe you don't hate repetition as much as you claim to.

SEQUEL OUT NOW!

“why are men on tinder actually vile?” you question out loud, not quite expecting an answer as your eyes continue to read the offensive opener you’d received from a recent match. mingyu, who’s crouched on the desk across from you, frowns.

“y/n, we’re meant to be studying,” he points out, “but also i thought you were over tinder?”

you look at him blankly, “i am! i just gotta finish what i started you know…”

mingyu looks deeply disappointed in you and you slide your phone across to him, “look at this message i just got! it’s disgusting! i don’t need to know if someone’s wet at the thought of—”

“god, y/n, do you have to scream?” he asks as he takes hold of your phone, busying his fingers probably with blocking the guy. you momentarily look back at your screen where the black document meant to be the outline for your final art history paper taunts you.

you sigh, looking down at your phone when mingyu returns it. “i paused your account and deleted the app.” you sigh yet again, “man! if you were gonna uninstall it without my permission you should’ve just deleted my account.”

“you’d just make another one anyway,” he shrugs, “plus, this way when you go back you’ll remember why you left in the first place.”

you grumble something under your breath but resume your attempts at writing. mingyu smiles a little as he goes back to his own work. a beat passes before, he puts his pen down again and when he sees you’re staring at your screen distantly, he asks, “did you talk to jeonghan yet?”

you gasp at the mention of your years-old crush, glancing around you as if you weren’t in a private study room (because apparently the only way either of you could get anything done was while talking to each other). “what?” mingyu continues, “one of us had to address the elephant in the room.”

“wow, you’re just the worst friend ever, aren’t you? it’s like you can’t read rooms at all. i clearly did not want to talk about jeonghan.”

“well, now you are. so you might as well be honest with me. did you think about confessing to him?”

you deflate, stomach suddenly uneasy, “no. i don’t think i will. i don’t need him to know.”

“you kinda do. y/n, look at me,” mingyu knocks on the wood to demand your attention, “it’s the only way you’ll ever have an answer.”

“i don't want an answer.”

“…”

"because i'm going to move on from him!"

"..."

“okay, well, i’m starting to! just watch me, okay? i have the agency to not be completely consumed by my very shallow attraction to a very attractive and impressive man.”

“right. you just used attractive twice in a sentence— and no, i don’t care if it wasn’t the same form of the word, you absolutely hate redundant things. and yet, you refuse to recognize the way out of this pattern of yours.”

“you are so tiring, mingyu, you know that? exhausting, even. i don’t want to do this anymore.” you shake your head at him, suddenly invigorated to finish this damn preliminary proposal of yours.

—

yunjin cackles as she plops down across from you in the dining hall, finding you scrolling ever so dedicatedly on pinterest. “what’s this?”

you look up at her with a pout, “i need a dress for hoshi’s little party. it’s in two weeks and i have zero options.”

“fuck, i knew i was forgetting something,” she grimaces in her typical huh yunjin way and shifts closer, “i need to find something for that too. can’t just wear a corset and call it day since he’s labelling it a formal and whatnot.”

“he really is the worst,” you agree, pausing to muse over a pretty white dress with red roses all over it. “hmm, what about this one?”

yunjin tilts her head and nods as she looks between you and the dress, probably imagining you in it. then, you sigh, “it’s just i don’t think red is my color like that.”

you’re about to elaborate when you hear a gasp from behind you, “that is simply not true!” you don’t have time to react when a figure slides in next to you. goddamnit, it’s jeonghan, you realize, trying hard to keep it together when his shoulder comes to sit next to yours. “you absolutely fucking rock the color red.”

“i do?” is all you can muster as yunjin chokes out a badly covered laugh. you glare at her, “what’s funny, jen?”

“hah, nothing, i agree with jeonghan, you’d look lovely in red.”

you frown, unconvinced as you scroll some more, feeling dizzy from jeonghan’s presence.

“preparing for hoshi’s party i presume?” jeonghan asks and you nod. “i’m so stressed, i have nothing and it’s approaching so fast.”

“you have time though,” he reassures but you’re quick to protest, “i’m not going to have any time next week because we’re organizing that night flea market. i’ll be running around campus so i need to take a trip this week.” the beauty of going to a college with an isolated campus: peace and you gotta plan every time you leave campus because there’s a singular bus that takes you to the city. it’d be a whole day trip for you if not for mingyu, who thankfully has a car that he can drive.

“ahh, tell me when you’re going into the city, y/n,” yunjin pats you, “i gotta go too.”

you nod and then remember, “right of course, i just remembered kazuha saying she wanted to come too.”

“nice,” yunjin approves, “we need all the opinions we can get. did you get mingyu to agree to drive you yet?”

“i texted him earlier but he hasn’t replied, which is slightly concerning because he may not know how to spell but he does write back very fast.”

jeonghan chuckles, “mind if i join you guys too?”

you stop in your tracks, turning to face him, “you wanna come shopping with us?”

he nods, that sweet smile of his plastered across his face, “yeah, i could use a new formal outfit. i’m tired of wearing the same black suit to everything.” he nudges your side, “plus, you guys could help me out. i can never decide on anything all alone.”

—

“maybe i should just not go,” you groan with your head in your hands. mingyu rolls his eyes, slapping your back, “why would not go? if your problem’s with jeonghan, he should be the one to stay back. not you.”

you sit back up, staring at the eggs in your plate. beside you, mingyu chugs his glass of orange juice, and you lean against him. “god, i hate him so much. do you wanna go see if the playground’s free?”

“right now?” mingyu looks at the time. it’s 11 am on saturday, still an hour from the time everyone agreed to meet in front of mingyu’s car, which is conveniently parked right across from the playground. as if following your line of thought, he grins, “alright. but you finish your food first.”

you sigh, “okay, mom, i will.”

five minutes later find you racing mingyu for the best swing in the playground— months of visiting the place had taught you the first swing was the only one that didn’t creak too loud and experienced the least amount of bumps during the ride. mingyu’s fast but you’re stubborn so you reach out for his arm midway, sticking your nails into the skin, knowing how dramatic he is about these things.

he gasps, “DO NOT CLAW ME.” strong as he might be, he slows down to rip your grip off. you seize the opportunity, getting a headstart and laugh when you reach the swing before him, sitting down firmly before mingyu can pull you away.

“that’s cheating, y/n, you know it!”

“hey, you’re the one that has an advantage. you go to the gym like eight times a week. i go like thrice a month.”

“sounds like someone’s lazy and whiny to me.”

you smile, “someone lazy wouldn’t win that race. and you’re the one that’s whining,” you point to his stance, his arms at his hips like an affronted toddler. he loosens his body with a pout as he walks over to the second swing. “whatever.”

time passes a little too fast for you two when you’re fighting like this because kazuha’s running over to you, breathless. “y/n! what are you guys doing?”

“zuha, hi! did you—”

“yep, i got your lip gloss.”

you chuckle, throwing your arms around her, “why are you the best roommate ever?”

mingyu scoffs, “what about you being the worst roommate ever?”

kazuha laughs, too nice to agree with him, “hey, that’s not true.” you hit him in the side, “you’re just jealous that you’re in a single. i guess money really does make people lonely.”

“i’d go for a double even if i was that rich,” jeonghan’s voice pops up from beside you. he sure has a knack for appearing out of thin air. “i couldn’t handle being alone.”

“not everyone can love themselves as much as i do,” mingyu shrugs, smugly as crosses his arms. “i’m self-sufficient like that.”

“if you guys are done, we should start moving,” comes yunjin’s voice from near mingyu’s car, “it’s already fifteen past 12.”

“i call shotgun!” yunjin shouts and you’re quick to fight back, “no way, i already called it.”

“if i didn’t hear it, then it doesn’t count,” she teases, leaning against the passenger side. you glare at mingyu, “i called it in front of mingyu! the driver is the one that counts.”

mingyu laughs at the petty fight, “y/n did call it earlier this morning.”

“that’s not fair! mingyu’s obviously going to take y/n’s side, you guys spend every breathing minute together. the rest of us don’t stand a chance.”

you smirk, “don’t be a sore loser, huh yunjin, you can call it when we’re coming back. if you remember to.”

“i hate you,” she mutters as everyone settles into the car.

“i’m open to music requests, dear friends,” you announce once you’ve started off. “but i reserve the right to reject any tasteless songs.”

“isn’t this the textbook example of a tyranny?” jeonghan breathes and you shoot him a look over your shoulder, “hey, the power comes with the seat. it’s natural selection.”

mingyu groans through laughter, “you know you don’t make any sense. just play some music.”

you roll your eyes, “he says as he laughs his fat ass off.”

“she’s just salty my ass is fatter than hers,” he mutters under his breath. the three in the backseat break into laughs at that, all at your expense as you gape at them. such betrayal.

“i don’t know why i call you friends. you’re monsters.”

kazuha pipes in, “y/n, are you calling your sweet roommate a monster right now?”

jeonghan is quick to join in, “honestly, i’d say kazuha is the nicest friend among us here.”

“fine, everyone but zuha’s out to get me right now.” the screaming continues for a little bit longer until yunjin and kazuha tire themselves out and pass out. you chuckle when you look at them, yunjin’s head bobs in the middle of the three until it hits kazuha’s shoulder, whose head then rests on top.

swiftly, you pull out your phone camera and capture the moment, sure to tease them later. as you’re clicking the photos, jeonghan’s face sticks into the corner with a sneaky grin and you shift the angle to include him. enjoying the attention, he shoots the camera a peace sign, followed by a little heart, and then a cheek heart and now he’s a bunny and then—

you pull yourself away abruptly with a shaky laugh, “god, jeonghan, this isn’t a photoshoot.”

he laughs back, “ha ha, sorry, i can’t help myself. it’s so fun to tease you like this.”

you feel the blood rush to your face at that, so you turn to face the road completely, a weak, “fuck off” on your tongue. mingyu silently observes the interaction, not without a little side-eye that you don’t know what to think of. “you should get some rest, y/n, you didn’t sleep last night.”

you frown, surprised mingyu knows that and you don’t get to ask him why he knows that because jeonghan interrupts, “you guys sure are close. i was talking to hoshi the other day, he misses y’all a lot.”

“he does? he can just come talk to us whenever though,” mingyu replies, doubt tracing his tone. “i don’t think we’re exclusive like that.”

“right?” you agree, “we used to be so close to hoshi, too, and then he moved to the other side of campus this semester and now i have like one class with him.”

“i don’t know,” jeonghan says, “you should talk to him about it, but there’s always been something stronger about the two of you together.”

you shrug, “we always end up together. it’s not that deep i think. it’s just how it is.”

the topic ends there as jeonghan agrees and dozes off himself too. you, however, feel eerily awake. awake? no, more like unsettled. something in your nerves is off and you feel on edge. you’re a little spaced out after that, as you finally reach the city circle with all the shops crowded next to each other with a little mall in the center.

as everyone gets off and gathers their things, mingyu pulls you aside with a concerned look, “are you okay, y/n?” his grip on your elbow grounds you a little. you inhale, knowing better than to pretend in front of him, “yeah, just a little uneasy. i don’t know why. probably just tired.”

mingyu looks like he knows something more about your condition, “are you sure? we can take a break at one of the restaurants before shopping if you want?”

“nah, i’m okay, don’t worry. i’m a strong girl,” you smile, reasurring him with a pat to his chest, “i feel better now. thanks, mingyu.”

he frowns, hand loosening against your skin, “you never thank me, weirdo. don’t be so formal.”

“man, there’s no winning with you, is there?”

he chuckles as he pulls you after the others, “no, i’m insatiable.”

—

an hour into shopping, you realize why you hate doing this. everything is so overwhelming when you’re in the city, so many people, so many clothes. at least you have friends with you as you scan racks after racks, ending up with three potential dresses on your arm. you mutter a prayer in your head that you can find something nice here so you don’t have to walk more. this is already your third store.

the first one is a classic: a little black dress. it’s satin so it sits smooth against your skin and feels soft when you twirl around. it’s a little short for your liking, perhaps too tight against your ass. you turn to the side to get a better look. you take a photo and send it to mingyu, who you’d been going back and forth with. he’d last sent you a photo ten minutes ago: him in a stupid minion onesie. you’d cursed him out real well in response telling him to stop fucking around. he writes back fast.

big gyu: u look good

big gyu: kinda basic tho

you: yea i thought so too

you agree with that, putting the dress aside in case you don’t find anything else at all.

candidate number two is more over the top: a long red dress with little black patterns on it, with a leg slit on one side. getting into it was a whole struggle but you get it on finally. it fits well thanks to the slit which also shows off some skin. you’re hot in it: like literally. the long sleeves don’t help at all. but you look good too, the flare doing wonders for your figure. you pause, sending a photo hoping mingyu would be of help.

however, when mingyu takes longer than a minute to reply, you groan, already sweating a little. concluding that he’s probably changing or something, you peek out your curtain, hoping yunjin was still in the stall next to yours. you call out her name, straining your neck to see if there was anyone else you could ask for help.

you spot jeonghan walking around the shelves near the fitting rooms and before you can hesitate to call him over, he notices your head poking out. he raises an eyebrow, sending your heartbeat into a spiral. “y/n? do you need help?”

you clear your throat, “um, yeah, i need a second opinion on this dress.” jeonghan approaches your corner and you panic when he reaches for the curtain to draw it back. his eyes question you, “can i look?” you let go of it to let him in, a tiny little rational part of you wondering he needed to come inside the room to see.

“ohhh,” he exclaims as he takes you in, “you look amazing. told ya red was your color.”

you turn away from him a little, “this dress is hot.”

“it sure is,” he agrees and you blush harder, “no i meant, like literally. i’m so hot right now.”

jeonghan presses his lips together, giving away the fact that he understands but being the little bitch he is, he chooses the option that makes you wanna combust. he presses two fingers to your cheek and mumbles, “yeah, you are.”

you push his arm off, “yoon jeonghan! you’re such a damn flirt! get out of here.” you force him out of your space and he’s uncontrollably laughing as he lets you. “i’ve another dress to try so wait outside for me.”

“sure you don’t need a hand changing—”

“no, thank you very much!” you scream, greeted with more pleased chuckling. your phone buzzes, catching your attention. you lean down to look at it.

big gyu: niceee thats hot

big gyu: u should get this dress

big gyu: pls

you: …girl why are u begging me

big gyu: because.

big gyu: you’re getting this dress right

you: no i’d die of overheating in it

big gyu: and it’d be worht it

you: i dont like how enthusiastic u are about this...

you: wtv this one's rejected.

you: i still have another dress to try

you put your phone down to try the final dress. this one was a purple slip dress with white flower detailing. it was skin tight against your boobs and a little transparent, giving away your black bra underneath. and to contrast, it sat a little loose on your hips which was honestly not the worst look, keeping from the dress becoming too scandalous. you enjoyed this dress the most so far. that was enough, given the track record.

“you done, y/n?” you’re startled when the voice outside is mingyu’s instead of jeonghan. you pull back the curtains in confusion, “gyu? what’re you doing here?” mingyu stops short, “fuck, i like this one.” you flush a little when you notice his eyes settle on your chest for a beat too long. “that’s stunning, for real.”

you laugh. “look at you using big words. but yeah, i think this is the one.” you look over at him, “did jeonghan leave?”

“um, yeah, he said he had to use the washroom when i ran into him on the way,” he mumbles. you nod, a little relieved because you think you’d die if he saw you right now. “anyway, i’m offended you were showing him your dresses and then all i got was a photo.”

“hey, you were taking so long to reply that i had seek someone else out. he just happened to be her.”

mingyu ignores that and tells you to hurry up, “i need your help choosing something for myself.”

“ugh, alright, give me five.”

in the end, you decided you’d get both the classic black dress and the slip dress, you needed more dresses in general. wouldn’t hurt to have more. when you’re done checking out, you find mingyu in conversation with kazuha who’s smiling with a shopping bag in her hands.

“zuha, you get anything?” you ask. she nods eagerly, “yeah! i got this pink dress that jeonghan helped me find just now. it’s really pretty, i’ll show you later in the room.”

you falter a little at that, glancing at mingyu who’d told you he went to the washroom. ignoring the growing unsettling gut feeling, you inform her you’d found something too. “nice, we should have a try-on in the room later.”

“you guys!!” yunjin joins the group, “this is insane. i hit the jackpot and found the sexiest green dress ever.” you laugh, linking arms with her, “you should come over later and try it on with us.”

“ah, the beauty of womanhood,” mingyu grumbles beside you, and you shove him. “you’re not invited, pervert.”

his jaw falls open, “excuse me? what did you just call me?”

you press an index finger into his bicep, “don’t think i didn’t notice you checking my boobs out earlier.” mingyu’s cheek redden at the light-hearted accusation, worsening when jeonghan appears right at the climax of the argument.

“okay, okay, first of all, i wasn’t checking anything out!” he complains, “and-and well, they—”

jeonghan cuts him off, patting his back with an amused smirk, “it’s alright, buddy, it happens to the best of us.” everyone laughs at that, much to mingyu’s chagrin who then becomes pouty for the rest of the walk to the next shop.

“c’mon,” you pull him into the store, “my turn to stare at your tits.”

“god, would you drop it?” he groans as he follows you in. “it won’t happen again.”

you giggle, “it’s okay with me, gyu, because that just means the girls look good.”

he groans again, “i really don’t need to be a part of this.” he wanders off into the store, embarrassed. you let him go, looking at clothes for him separately. turns out shopping for mingyu is harder than the concept of it sounds. it doesn’t help that he’s an expert at criticizing the small detail in every item you choose for him. half an hour later, you’re tired of him.

as if on cue, kazuha calls you to tell you to come over to an asian restaurant nearby to grab lunch. you thank the lords as you pull mingyu away, “there’s nothing here for me anyway,” he grumbles as you meet up with the rest.

entering the restaurant, you spot kazuha and jeonghan at a table nearby. yunjin’s still on her way it turns out as you sit across from them, heart in throat for the worst reason possible: you’re jealous. you may be down bad for jeonghan but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your ability to take a hint. trying to keep the thought from completely forming in your head, you make conversation with everyone, wanting to be better than this.

you want to avoid thinking about it so you’re quick to shut jeonghan off. he’s his usual self, joking around with everyone but he picks up when you’re not as receptive as usual. you hope he just thinks nothing of it, but you know that’s not possible when he approaches you after lunch as everyone else is washing up in the bathroom.

you’re outside alone, waiting, when he slightly pushes your shoulder to draw your attention. you gasp lightly. “jeonghan?”

“can i talk to you for a sec?”

you frown, “yeah, you’re talking to me right now.”

“come on, y/n, don’t be cold. let’s go for a walk.”

“but, the others—”

“i let mingyu know we’ll be back in a few.”

out of excuses, you silently follow jeonghan’s stride through the busy street. he makes conversation really well, easing you up in no time as he distracts you from what was on your mind. it’s illegal how smoothly he then proceeds to drop the act.

you’re laughing about what he’d said about hoshi’s drinking habits just now, when he suddenly goes serious, “i think i like kazuha.”

you freeze up at that, fighting the frown that itches closer, looking at him like you didn’t hear him. heart’s out of control right now, but at least you were already expecting this outcome. “huh?”

“sorry, i just thought you should know. i’m really into her and i was planning to ask her out sometime this week.”

you would love to pass away right now. immediately, you think you hate jeonghan for doing this to you. it’s clear from his behavior that he knows you like him and that he’s apologizing— he’s rejecting you before you have a chance to confess. he likes kazuha. he’s going to ask her out. you should know that.

you sputter awkwardly, “that’s great! good for you, jeonghan. and um, you really didn’t have to tell me. i’m sure kazuha would love to be with you.”

you never want to speak a word to anyone ever again and you're sweating ever so profusely, so you speed up a little, “and we should get going, no?”

sensing your mood, jeonghan follows along but says, “i’m sorry, y/n. i- i know you…”

you don’t let him finish because it would genuinely kill you to hear him say he knows you like him. “you don’t have to be sorry.” with that, you essentially leave your body. you move fast enough to reach the car, wordlessly getting into the passenger seat and yunjin somehow knows better than to fight you.

the car ride back is filled with music. not much chatter. you realize it’s partly your fault and silently dread being back in the room with kazuha, but to your relief, when you reach she doesn’t bring anything up. you’re too tired to do a try-on like you promised and when mingyu asks if you want to come over to his place, you tell him you’re feeling sleepy. and for once, you actually sleep after telling him that.

sleep is not as much of a comfort as you’d hope for it to be: less of an escape, more jeonghan-themed content. something about heartbreak and living the rest of your life, lovelessly.

—

the next week starts off hectic and you’re thankful for it this once. you could use the chaos of organizing an event to take your mind off things. a small part of you wonders if jeonghan was being merciful by letting you down and timing it so well. knowing him, that doesn’t seem so impossible.

you feel better than you’d imagined you would. you cried like once since the rejection. you didn’t need to worry much at this point, having realizing that it was less important that you’d made it out to be. mingyu, on the other hand, doesn’t give up his worrying, especially when he doesn’t see you until three days into the week. and that, too, because he gave up and thought it would be a good idea to invade your room, at one in the night.

his knocking wakes you up fairly quickly, since you’d only put your phone down a few minutes ago. you rush to the door, afraid of waking kazuha up. “what the fuck, mingyu?” you ask at the sight of him.

“what the fuck yourself! stop ignoring my messages maybe?”

you groan, stepping outside your room, feeling the cold air hit you in your night clothes. “why’d you have to confront me so late at night? can we do this tomorrow? when i’m coherent and not half-naked?”

mingyu falter as if he just realized the time, noticing your tank top and shorts. “i don’t care. i’ll give you my jacket but we’re doing this right here and right now.”

you sigh, knowing this was coming. “forget it, keep your jacket. i’ll go change and be right back.”

mingyu grabs your arm when you try to go back inside, “how do i know you’re not just gonna leave me here to die?”

“dude, my room’s right here. you can come watch me change if you fucking want.”

he lets you go, flustered when you offer and you laugh as you rush back in. in the darkness, kazuha’s voice startles you, “y/n? is everything okay? are you being abducted?”

“oh god, zuha, you scared me. and no, it’s just stupid little mingyu who wants to have a talk. i’ll settle this. go back to sleep.”

she groans, “god, you guys are just like my parents sometimes.”

you laugh at that as you slip into a hoodie and exchange your shorts for pajamas. when you return, mingyu’s sitting at the stairs in front of your room and you hit him in the back.

“ouch! fuck you!” he stands up with a glare, “also i heard what you said about me. why am i stupid and little? can you just choose one insult?"

“let’s go down if we’re gonna argue. zuha can hear us, too. and did you hear what she said after that?” when he seems clueless, you go on, “she said we remind her of her parents sometimes.”

he coughs, “her parents?? what are we, married?”

you roll your eyes, “married and sick of each other, apparently.”

“being zuha’s parents doesn’t sound so bad honestly. she’d be the easiest child to raise.”

“i feel like zuha would raise you if you were her father,” you laugh, “me too, probably.”

“who’d be the father then?”

your smile falls when an answer occurs to you, you mumble, “jeonghan,” sitting at a bench outside your dorm. mingyu joins you, equally solemn now.

“did something happen between you two?”

“yeah. he rejected me when we went shopping that day.”

mingyu’s eyes widen, “what? you confessed?”

you shake your head, a strained smile, “he already knew. i guess i was obvious, but it’s still driving me insane that he rejected me without even giving me a chance to confess.”

“i can’t believe he did that. that’s conceited as fuck.”

“conceited or impressive, i can’t decide. but he told me likes kazuha and that he’s sorry. i genuinely wanted to die when he said that. he was cool about breaking my heart, too. lowkey fell a little harder for him.” you laugh at your own joke, but mingyu looks unhappy, jaw clenched like he’d tasted something bitter.

you hit his arm, “it’s not a big deal, dude. i was thinking about it the past few days and i realized i barely knew the guy. i just knew what he told me over the last year.”

after a pause, “and he’s one beautiful man, so there was that.” you smile a little.

“but he didn’t have to do it like that. he could just stop flirting with you, you know, or wait for you to come around and confess like a normal person,” mingyu says, “he’s such a little jerk.”

“hey, it’s okay, a little flirting didn’t hurt anyone.”

“yeah but he was leading you on, leaving you in ambiguity by doing that. he should’ve been flirting with kazuha, not you.”

“okay, now that’s starting to hurt,” you whine, pressing your forehead against his shoulder, “but i can’t really blame him, no? kazuha’s so precious.”

“don’t be like that, y/n.”

“what? be like what?” you look up, “didn’t you also used to be into kazuha?”

mingyu bites his lip when you bring his years-old crush up, “when will you forget about that? that was so long ago and it was barely serious. she’s too nice to be my type.” (what does that even mean? you wonder but don't have the time to ask.)

“sure, you didn’t want to change residence halls to be closer to her?”

“alright, how many times do i tell you that i did that because of you? why do you never believe me?”

“it just makes more sense the other way,” you mumble, suddenly feeling teary-eyed and hating that you were feeling teary-eyed, which only intensified the teariness in your eyes. “god, this is stupid.”

mingyu’s arm is around in no time when he notices you curling up, your lip tucked between your lips in anticipation, “hey, hey, c'mon, i thought you said it wasn't a big deal. so how come you're crying?"

“because! i feel lame. and because kazuha’s perfect, by the way. she’d probably cry too if she knew i was crying.”

he pulls you closer, “you’re not lame, y/n. you think i’d keep you around so long if i didn’t think you were insanely cool?”

you breathe through your tears, “you just keep me around because i’m insane?”

“insanely cool! open your ears, idiot.”

“you just called me an idiot. idiots are pretty lame.”

he sighs when he feels his tshirt get damper, your body so weak under his hold. he pats your hair softly, “sorry, that’s not what i meant. but seriously, y/n, you know i’m bad at saying this stuff but i seriously cannot stress enough how highly i think of you.” his hand moves to rub your back, “and you’re so much more than perfect, you know? like sometimes you don’t do a paper till three hours before and still get an A. and then, you come up with comebacks to my arguments in your own unique ways, and trust me, nobody can argue with me like you do.”

you pull away, “all right, now you’re embarrassing me. why do i sound like a bossy nerd or something?”

“you can be that at times. hey, but you forgot the part where you’re hot as shit. and also pretty.”

“i feel like that last part was an afterthought, mingyu,” you bite back a laugh, “you really only keep me around for my tits, don’t you?”

“dude, can you let me wholesome for once? i’m trying to console you, so would you stop playing devil’s advocate?”

“sorry, i’m just,” you hesitate with a heavy sigh and then, you blurt out, "i’m scared i’ll never fall in love. i’ll never find it at all.”

“now that’s some stupid thoughts you’re having,” mingyu shakes you by the shoulders, “you’ve just been blinded by your crush on jeonghan for so long that you haven’t explored anyone else at all.”

“are you volunteering to be my crush right now?” you ask, jokingly.

mingyu’s smirk catches you off-guard, “what if i am? it wouldn’t be the worst thing if i was your boyfriend.”

you feel yourself heating up a little for some reason, head in a daze from his earlier shower of compliments and now this. so instead of trying to make sense of it all, you press yourself into him in a hug. “yeah, it wouldn’t.”

—

“hoshi, you little shit!” you throw yourself around the guy when you spot him on the night of the flea market, the product of a long and actually insane week. he laughs when he realizes it’s you, pulling you into a hug, “bro, y/n, why is this my first time seeing in you in literal years?”

“i don’t know, i just kinda see you walking around sometimes. maybe if you actually showed up to econ class, i’d see you more.”

hoshi flinches, “you can’t be bringing econ up right now. that class is kicking my ass. i can’t keep showing up to that kind of humiliation.”

the two of you catch up at last, as people swarm around the different stalls set up along the college street. you were relieved after having finished this damn event. cheers to sleep, right?

hoshi tells you all about his new situationship with a guy in another class and how he’s regretting inviting him to the party tomorrow night. “why? believe it or not, people are more fun when drunk.”

hoshi rolls his eyes, “yeah, well, i couldn’t get any more fun. so instead i become incontrollable. an absolute animal.”

“right, i remember that. so you’re scared you’re gonna drive him off? i wouldn’t worry honestly. and if you want, i can keep you in check.”

he narrows his eyes in distrust, “you? you’re not much better than me drunk, okay? i feel bad for mingyu who’s gonna have to take care of you the whole time.”

you gasp, “wow, you’re taking mingyu’s side now? over mine? i thought we had something special.”

“you thought wrong,” comes mingyu out of nowhere, slinging his arm around hoshi’s shoulders.

“why are you here suddenly?” hoshi looks between the two of you, “i couldn’t not come to an event my lovely y/n herself planned, could i?”

hoshi laughs, “nice to see you two as jolly as ever. but also i must take your leave. i gotta go grab dinner soon.”

“hey, why don’t you come with us? we were gonna check out the new outlet the college opened.”

“oh, i would love to but i have plans with someone already.”

you nod your head in realization, “right of course, have fun. not too much, though. leave some for tomorrow.” he leaves with a full-toothed smile and you face mingyu.

he playfully pinches your cheek, “you confront him about missing us yet?”

you raise a shoulder in response, and as the flea market starts to fizzle out thanks to the darkening sky, your stomach grumbles. “let’s eat, please.”

ever since that night— you don’t want to say anything had changed between you and mingyu because your friendship had been long enough that even the slightest shift in dynamics would harmoniously just become the new status quo; the two of you had been through a lot together. but ever since that night, you’d been fooling around with him more, if that was possible.

it was along the lines of: less banter, more flirting? although one might argue that the former was just a derivative of the other. but semantics aside, this is what you know to be true: friends flirt with each other all the damn time.

that’s what you’re telling yourself when mingyu asks you to feed him some of the fried rice you’d gotten on your plate. and it was true: you’re almost a 100% certain that you’d flirted with every friend of yours, and that was just how it worked.

but intimacy came differently to everyone and mingyu’s just manifested in clinginess. he was pressed to your side for the entirety of dinner, and you couldn’t complain about the proximity. it was welcome, even, this form of friendship.

“you’re thinking too hard.” mingyu’s voice pulls you out of your little reflection session. “what’re you even thinking about? you should be all burnt out from all the work you did this past week.”

“i am,” you affirm, “but some things just don’t let up.”

he chuckles, patting your head affectionately as if to persuade your thoughts to let up for a while. it doesn’t help really, only gravitating the direction of the said thoughts toward kim mingyu even more.

“maybe repetition isn’t as bad as i always make it out to be,” you say, chin propped up against your fist on the table. mingyu had chosen a corner table of the newly opened eatery, next to a low window that glowed behind you in the remains of sunset as he shifted to completely face you. the sun had finally set. again.

“you’re right. routine is good for people.”

“but it doesn’t have to stay the same forever, you know?”

“hm?” mingyu can’t help but feel like you’re edging toward some underlying topic. you were like this since he could remember: you’d start off with some abstract and vaguely relevant concept (that had no doubt been plaguing you for a long time) and slowly circle around till he caught onto what you meant. you love playing games with him.

“repetition doesn't have to be redundant? i think there's something more subtle about it.”

he doesn’t know where you’re going with this, “but repetition is literally the same thing over and over?”

“yeah, but the ‘same thing’ itself can evolve,” your fingers knock against his, “i don’t know, i was just thinking about… us.”

“us? i guess we would be a good example of repetition.”

your gaze falls from his to find your hand instead, your fingers wrapping around his wrist until you’ve forced his palm open. his hand in your lap upside down, you pull at the fingers, “yeah, but we’ve changed a lot. for one, we fight a lot less. sometimes when i’m going to tell you a thought, you understand mid-sentence what i mean.”

“yeah, well, that’s what we get for knowing each that long. but really, what’s this about, y/n?” he captures your hand in his expertly, pulling your attention back to his face.

“do you ever think we should be more?”

mingyu breathes a laugh at that, a shiver running down his spine when he spots the solemn look on your face. and then, his smile turns grave. “y/n, we’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?”

“have we? every time i’m the one who brings it up and you kinda just shrug it off. no, don’t even try to argue with me. you shrug the serious stuff off. always.”

it’s true, mingyu admits in defeat, mind racing as he considers why you’re bringing this up now. the answer is easy: you were finally available. but he doesn’t say it out loud, like he never does. you’d confronted him about the state of your friendship before, unafraid to wonder out loud what it would be like if you started dating. you’ve received all forms of shut-downs from mingyu before so you figured you were the only one in an ambiguous place about your feelings for him.

if someone was to ask if you like mingyu, you’d probably say yes, but it’s more than that. you know better than to blindly fall for him. witnessing him in his relationships before, you know he can be ruthlessly cold to his partner once he’s out of love. you practice romantic love for mingyu: carefully because too much would definitely be dangerous.

“i have my reasons, y/n.” there it is. the strict mingyu. the rigidity in setting his boundaries was something you admired and aspired for when he exhibited it in the past. right now, you want to punch him.

you’re without a filter with him so it’s unfair when he treats you like this. you let him know as much: “i want to punch you right now. i’ve hidden nothing from you, and yet, there’s this wall you keep yourself behind. is this really one-sided?”

mingyu doesn’t know what to do with you right now, “y/n, why are you—”

“no, because it's not like i can't take a hint. so one minute you're flirting with me and then, you push me away like right now,” you point to his estranged fingers, “but then you act like nothing happened and go right back to being all intimate and touchy.”

“i just…” mingyu lets out an exasperated sigh, “i just don’t see the reason for labels. why do we have force ourselves into a restriction like that? we’ve always been above conforming.”

it’s your turn to sigh heavy enough your head hits the wall behind you. wasn’t this just his way of friend-zoning you back into silence? you’ve always been too embarrassed to push him this far because you don’t mean to hurt him. but you feel as though you’ve hurt yourself long enough now.

“so why’d you say that the other night? that it would be nice if you were my boyfriend?”

this leaves him speechless for a few beats and you continue, “that was just because i was heartbroken from jeonghan? you’re playing prince charming for me so i can go back to being your trusty little best friend?”

“y/n, you know that’s not true. i’m not playing anything in your life. i’m just being myself.”

you scoff, “you really are so fucking—”

“why are we actually fighting right now?” mingyu asks through an incredulous laugh, “this is actually so petty, dude, let’s stop. you know i love you, right?”

mingyu’s last resort makes its presence: a non-committal i love you. because at the end of the day, you’re still best friends. what was a little ‘i love you’ in today’s economy? nothing. especially when you’d hear him throw the phrase around all the time.

you stand up in defeat, “fine, let’s stop. you win.” you gesture for him to move to the side and he does so reluctantly when you glare at him like you’re genuinely mad. (you are.)

he follows you out the door, catching your elbow to slow you down. “don’t be like this. i know you’re mad at me.”

“i’m not mad. i'm tired and i just want to go back to my room,” you seethe, walking faster than him. he grabs hold of your shoulder turning you around.

“if you’re gonna storm off, at least go the right way.” you huff softly and let him steer you the right way to your dorm, hands still on you. you spend the way to the front of your room silently, waiting for mingyu to say something but he just does what he does best: take care of you.

as you reach the door of your room, he pauses, apologetic smile on display. “listen, let’s talk more tomorrow? get some sleep.” he reaches for your hair, tenderly running his fingers through the locks. there it is: the soft mingyu, his eyes wide as he stares you down for signs of stress.

his warm arm pressed againsts yours, you realize you don’t want him to just leave. you know the drill: tomorrow morning, he’ll text you to meet for lunch and everything will go back to being unsaid. maybe he’ll bring along seungcheol so you don’t bring anything up again. either way, it’ll be so natural you’ll think nothing ever happened. but you want something to happen.

so your hand settles around his bicep to hold on and partly to keep him in place. you lean in, “let me do one last thing and if you want to stop, i’m never bringing this up again. i promise.”

you don’t give mingyu a moment to react to your words and instead raise yourself up to his level, other hand on his chest, and press your lips to his. you kiss mingyu after the thirteen years that you’ve known him and the ten that you’ve wanted to. you counted the years just as you count the seconds that it takes for him to come to his senses and pull himself away.

he looks less upset than you imagined: more dazed. like he can’t believe what you’ve done. he looks at you with his lips parted and you have to tear your gaze apart, lest you should tear yourself apart with longing.

“y/n, i…” he looks away and that’s enough evidence you need. you step away from him, your easy smile back in its place, not before you pat his arm as it falls from you.

“it's okay. i understand. let’s be friends, mingyu,” you declare suddenly, catching him off-guard. you'd pulled all the stops and if he genuinely was uncomfortable with pushing the line between platonic and romantic, you would respect that.

he begins to say something but you don’t want to hear him speak, at least not right now when the sound of blood rushing to your head is the loudest it's ever been, and you certainly don’t want to falter again. you’ve decided. “good night."

—

mingyu should feel relieved. he really should be happy that you’re back to normal around him, friendly and playful like you’ve always been. he should count his blessings that you’ve accepted the status of your relationship with him as it is. but as he falls asleep that night, all that comes to his mind is the smile you’d sported as you asked to be friends.

it was all wrong: your lips against his, that was something of his dreams, not a reality he has to be escaping from. it replays in his head, your scent that he’d caught a whiff of now and then, whenever you’d wrap your arms around him. the heat of your skin he’d rationalize as the comforting presence of a friend for days later.

he’ll soon come to know how insanely stupid he’s being right now but until you knock some sense into him, he simply plays along with a sting he hides pretty well. he should, he’s been doing it for years now.

it’s the night of hoshi’s party already and he’s walking over to the location of the pregame, alone because according to a text fifteen minutes ago, you’re still not ready. you’d invited yunjin and some other friends to your and kazuha’s abode to apparently make the process easier, but if mingyu knows anything about the group, you’ve probably spent more time selecting the right song to play than get ready.

the door to dino and hoshi’s shared residence is already open as he strolls in, finding a group already on the floor, taking shots. he makes eye contact with jeonghan who beckons him closer and mingyu takes a seat next to him.

space is scarce so mingyu finds his arm pressed uncomfortably close to jeonghan’s, who oohs at mingyu’s fit, “ooh, you look positively sexy.”

mingyu grimaces, “do you have to put it like that?” he does look … positively sexy, mingyu admits, in the navy blue shirt he wore but— and here’s the punchline— with the buttons undone all the way to right above his navel.

“where’s y/n, by the way?” jeonghan asks, an eye at the entrance as he slides a shot glass toward mingyu. the question irks mingyu for obvious reasons and he keeps him waiting for a minute, waiting to down the liquid in glass (vodka unfortunately for his throat) to answer him. “um, she’s still getting ready. any minute now.”

“ha, that means she’ll be another ten. that’s a shame, i was hoping to pour her first shot.” jeonghan shrugs resentfully.

maybe the alcohol’s working faster since it’s been a while for mingyu, but his mouth runs faster than his head, “why’d you care? i thought you asked kazuha out a while ago.”

jeonghan raises a brow at that, “hmm. i did. but things did not work out so well. what with kazuha feeling guilty about y/n and… well, i also…”

“feel guilty?” mingyu asks, voice strained. he’s annoyed at having to listen to jeonghan’s side of the story. he could not care less about humanizing him and whatnot. he’s watched you suffer for far too long to be empathetic right now.

“yeah. and i thought i might like y/n, too, after all.” jeonghan says it so casually as if discussing his performance in a particularly challenging college course, not his feelings for a person who he’d recently rejected.

the word might pierces mingyu’s ears. the uncertainty behind it is in such stark contrast to his own… feelings toward you that he genuinely feels his breath heat up.

or maybe that’s just jeonghan when he leans over to refill his glass. “drink up, buddy.” mingyu’s just about ready to make a scene right now, shoving jeonghan’s hand off his back but suddenly jeonghan’s standing up, making his way to—

you. you’re here.

almost as soon as he catches sight of you, he looks away, pretending to give the vodka in his hand all the attention in the world, as he puts his lips to it and empties it. head is now light. that’s probably enough for now, he decides as he puts his glass down.

when he looks back up, you’re at the kitchen counter with yunjin and kazuha.. and jeonghan, who’s grinning as he hands out the bottles of fireball to the group, no doubt marketing it so convincingly that you’d think you came up with the idea yourself.

mingyu shoots to his feet, regretting it when his vision darkens but he pushes past, eyes focused on your figure— god, he forgot how hot you look in that dress. he tries to keep his thoughts in check as he approaches you, but it doesn’t help that your makeup’s even more meticulous than usual, eyes glittering and lips delightfully glossy.

he breaks into the space between you and jeonghan, arm against yours, catching your attention.

“my guy!!” you exclaim when you see him and then your eyes trail down to his chest and then back up to his face where his hair sits parted with the help of some gel. “you look like a slut. i love it.”

mingyu laughs, subjecting you to a similar once-over, “you’re one to talk.” your hair’s back in a bun of sorts, a rare occurrence because you seem to prefer have it around your face. he can’t help but pause at your exposed collarbones, the gold shadow you applied there earlier doing wonders to his already dazed headspace.

“is it already that part of the night where mingyu starts hitting on everyone?” yunjin complains, reserving the alternate version of her question (something along the lines of how impolitely he’d been eye-fucking you in front of everyone) for some other time as she nudges you to open the fireball in your hands.

you do so, looking at jeonghan who offers one to mingyu, which he refuses as he leans against the counter, hand silently at your back just in case. “you’re not drinking?” you ask, quietly enough only for the two of you, just in case he wasn’t comfortable sharing.

“nah, i just had two shots of vodka back there. trying not to mix for the sake of me tomorrow,” he mutters, patting your back encouragingly, “but let me know if you need help finishing that.”

jeonghan eyes mingyu on the side as the trio clink their bottles together and get to downing them. later, as things start picking up and more people make their way into the party, mingyu finds your arm. “do you want me to stay close by?” he frames the question in a way that you have an out, because he can tell that you’re still unhappy with him.

but you’re tipsy when your hand interlocks into his, “only if you’re going to dance like you mean it.”

the night goes better than you expect it to, especially since mingyu’s let loose for once. or perhaps… he’s always this carefree when drunk, palms kneading at your waist, keeping you close to his chest, which you try your best to not get too used to touching. he sure knows how to keep you on your toes (sometimes literally) even when wasted because you’re trying not to get too close. for you own sake.

that is until hoshi shows up beside you two, pulling you apart as he introduces you to a friend.. or a partner? you can’t hear in this state and just as you try to lean in closer to hear what he’s saying, you feel a presence at your shoulder, fingers poking you.

you turn to find jeonghan behind you, sloppy smile on his face as he screams something at you. you frown, asking him to repeat himself, hand on his bicep to steady yourself against the movement of the party.

“need to talk to you about something!” his words come at you, clearer. “right now?” you shout back, “what the fuck is it?” your body doesn’t want to stop moving so you groove against his side, and momentarily catching a glimpse mingyu’s heavy gaze on you. you almost completely stop then but jeonghan’s pulling you away, after him to a relatively emptier zone of the house.

you’re breathless, you realize, now that the spell of the music’s been broken. you rest against the damp wall behind you, uncaring as you look around for a liquid to quench your thirst. cunning as ever, jeonghan’s already handing you a plastic cup with a transparent liquid.

you narrow your eyes at him despite how wasted you are. “what’s this?”

he laughs, “i’m glad you’re vigilant as ever. this is water. cold. drink up.”

you comply, your throat throbbing ever so lesser after you’re done and you sigh in relief. “you might have broken my heart but you’re still an angel, jeonghan.”

“ahhh,” he exclaims joining your side against the wall. you frown when you take note of his fingers clasped together, almost fidgeting. yoon jeonghan, fidgety? that’s a first for you.

“actually, that’s what i wanted to talk to you about…”

when mingyu looks away from hoshi and his company to see if you were listening and when he finds out that you’re in fact in jeonghan’s embrace, he’s suddenly sober. and when your eyes find his for a moment, something in them changes and he calls out your name like a warning. but then jeonghan’s already leading you elsewhere.

mingyu wants to follow after you immediately but he realizes hoshi’s still talking to him. “hoshi, bro, can i find you in a while? i gotta make sure y/n’s okay.”

but hoshi stops him in his tracks, hand on his chest, “wait. please tell me you told her…?” he trails off uncertainly as mingyu catches on what he’s saying.

“i haven’t,” he admits, eyes still searching the crowd for you, “but i think it’s time that i do. only so much i can take.”

“that’s the spirit, man! okay, now go kiss y/n for me.” hoshi pushes mingyu with a start, not before the the latter shoots the man a glare and takes off in his search for you.

you’re still in that corner with jeonghan, who’s done narrating the past week’s revelations to you, all about his failed attempts with kazuha and his slow understanding of his real feelings about you. you’re far more unaffected that either of you was expecting, arms crossing in thought.

but then you say, “well, that’s fucking stupid. because i’ve realized i wasn’t as down bad for you as i once thought i was.” jeonghan’s smile falls a little with a disappointed sigh. “but,” you continue, “you know what i’m still curious about?”

when your hand creeps up jeonghan’s shoulder, he thinks he knows where you’re going with this. “i’ve wanted know if you’re really as good at kissing as everyone makes you out to be.” jeonghan’s already moving closer to you, enveloping your face in his hands, and his devilish grin’s spills out as his lips find your ear. “let’s find out?”

and that’s how mingyu finds you wrapped around jeonghan, making out like this was your last day living. and for a moment, he considers giving up and letting you have this. he even stops in his tracks in the crowd, his thoughts so easily drowned out by the music if he just lets go.

but his mind’s reeling when the sight of you kissing someone else just pushes him back a day ago when you were leaning up into him, soft breaths risking your lips against his and the way your body pressed into his just right. his feet move without a thought, then, shouldering through the bodies around the two in the corner.

you’re just pulling away from jeonghan to start to say something about how that wasn’t too bad when his body is lifted away from yours with an unannounced jerk. you gasp and then once again when mingyu’s face comes floating in front of yours.

“mingyu,” you breathe, unsteady from the series of events this past minute, “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“what the fuck are you doing?!” he screams in your face, hands on both arms to keep you from moving. jeonghan’s walking to your side and you want to say something to apologize but you’re far too infuriated with the man in front of you to think.

“i don’t know! trying to get laid? finding happiness? love?!” you scream back with as much force. you call out jeonghan’s name, “i’m sorry. mingyu’s too drunk to—”

“jeonghan,” warns mingyu when the guy tries to break you free from his embrace, “can i have a minute with y/n.” it isn't a question.

jeonghan has the nerve to say, “maybe not. i wouldn’t leave you alone with her in this state.”

“oh, she’ll be just fine,” he replies and jeonghan simply looks at you for confirmation. but you’re still looking at mingyu, starting to tear up, head throbbing all at once. you stop fighting against his grip and mumble in defeat, “whatever.”

“if you’re going to lecture me about being bad, i don’t really want to hear it.” you’re back next to the kitchen counters with mingyu beside you. slowly, you sit yourself up on the surface, feeling exhausted. “i’ve heard it before.”

“no, that’s not what i’m doing. i just want you to stop and think clearly—”

you groan when you hear the beginnings of a typical you’ll regret this in the morning type talk, you slide off the counter and to your delight, you run into a guy holding up a can of beer for the taking. you’re quick to jump at it, grabbing it up from him and pulling the tab of the can open. just as you put the beer to your lips, ready to chug it, you feel it being pulled away, the next few moments occuring before you can comprehend anything.

suddenly you’re sitting back on the counter and your dress rides up when you feel mingyu push himself in between your legs. at first, you see his face close on yours and then the taste of beer meets your throat. no, it’s not just beer— it’s mingyu. his tongue spills onto yours, beer mixing with saliva and when you try to pull away, his hand at your neck tightens. you sit up straight and you feel his watch digging into your spine.

your head spins when you can finally breathe, inhaling only to cough out. heart in your throat, you look at mingyu in disbelief, “what the fuck!” but he’s already taking another sip of the beer and some of it slides down your throat into your dress, when his mouth finds yours again.

you’re weak in his arms, and the heat between your legs is only so rational. so you find yourself giving in and kissing him back when the liquid runs out, nails finding his scalp, earning you a deep groan that vibrates against your chest. that’s when he pulls away again, eyes finally meeting yours with an unprecedented intensity.

he leans in again, wet kiss against your cheek, followed by a grunted whisper of, “i love you so fucking much, y/n. it’s so hard to watch you run around with other men.”

you want to think you’re hearing things but mingyu doesn’t let you, another kiss right in the nape of your neck that sends shudders down your back. “i want to be yours so fucking bad. want to spoil you like you deserve.”

you swallow against the moan that rises in your throat, to pull mingyu’s face back to your eye-level, “then why aren’t you mine? why’d you push me away?” your voice breaks, betraying the pretense of indifference you try to prop up. his eyes soften, fingers brushing against your forehead.

his lips quiver and he sighs defeatedly. it’s a miracle you can hear him with all that noise around you. but you hear him clear as day against your hair when he finally says, “i’m scared. of loving you too much, of being too much. and i’m scared of losing you.”

mingyu’s imagined telling you these exact words before and how you’d react to them infinite times before but when you giggle into his collarbone, he pulls away with a blank look. your forehead is against his all over again and for the second time night you say, “that’s fucking stupid! if you were going to lose me, it would’ve happened a while ago.”

of all the things he’d imagine you saying in response, this was the simplest option, so unlike your usual overthinking self. maybe it’s the alcohol and adrenaline in your system speaking but mingyu somehow feels comforted, because maybe it really is that simple. it would’ve happened if it was going to. or maybe mingyu’s too drunk to make sense of it all right now.

so his lips are moving against yours once again, without warning, your breath all his when his arms tighten once against around you. you’re laugh grounds him enough to break away. you open your mouth to complain about the distance when mingyu’s back against your skin.

“shut the fuck up,” he groans, the command making you hotter than you’d like to admit. your legs close around his ass, pulling him closer and his hand slips across your boobs. the friction of his palm against the tight fabric of your dress makes you let out an undignified moan into mingyu.

that’s when he knows he needs to take you to somewhere more private for reasons more than one. you’re too lightheaded to move yourself so mingyu’s carrying out the house without a word anyone you two came with. it’s only when the cold air hits you that you realize you’re outside.

you struggle against mingyu until you're back on your feet and stop. “where are we going? i’m— do i know you, mister guy?” for a second, mingyu’s heart sinks when he wonders if you thought you were just making out with a stranger. then, you say, “i need to go back and find mingyu. gotta kiss him.”

ignoring the blush that colors his face, he grabs hold of your elbow, “i am mingyu, idiot. and we’re going to my room.” you shake your head to clear your vision, eyes widening when you recognize him. your hand finds his face with a light laugh, “ah! it’s my big guy.” the name doesn’t help mingyu’s condition at all, so he’s pulling you after him faster than before.

back at the party, kazuha starts panic when she realizes she’s lost hold of you, unable to locate you anywhere within the party. she tugs at yunjin’s sleeve who looks over in concern, “what happened to y/n? i can’t find her anywhere.” yunjin laughs at that, covering her mouth with her hand. “don’t worry about her. i saw her and mingyu leave together earlier. she’s probably in heaven by now, if i’m right.”

“hmm?” kazuha pauses as a thought pops up into her head, “wait… did they…?” yunjin grins knowingly, “yup. it really was high time they fucked.” the former lets out a satisfied giggle, “i know. they were so obvious without even being together. i was getting tired.”

“you were getting tired?!” you gasp at mingyu later in the night, panting against his pillow. you’re on your back and he throws you a tshirt of his to sleep in now that your dress is… demolished. you look at it sadly out of the corner of your eye. “i really liked that dress,” you whine, as he picks the remains of it up with a somewhat smug grin, “planned to wear it out again.”

“i couldn’t risk that. you looked too good in it,” he chuckles to himself as he jumps into bed with you. you sit up, feigning anger as you slip the cotton over your head, warming up when the smell of mingyu greets you. “i don’t know if i could resist seeing your tits out like that.”

you hit his chest hard with a lighthearted scoff, “i knew it! you’re such a pervert. not just a pervert, you’re also a brute.” you groan as you rub your thighs together gingerly. mingyu props himself up, pulling you down into a hug, rubbing your back. “sorry, does it hurt a lot?”

“it’ll hurt more in the morning,” you relax in his arms, pressing a loving kiss into his hair, “should’ve known you went so rough. asshole.” you giggle when he pulls away in disbelief at the last insult.

“how could you—!” you roll away from him, laughing. he shifts closer, caging you against the wall behind you, “hey, you can’t say stuff like fuck i knew you’d have a big dick and then expect me to go all vanilla! do you know what that does to a guy?”

you shriek in embarrassment, “don’t bring that up now!” your ears redden when mingyu forces you by the chin to look up at him. “besides, where do you think the nicknames like big gyu and big guy came from?”

mingyu’s jaw falls open at the revelation and you break out into a fit of laughter at his mindblown expression. “how- how long have you been thinking about my di-”

you hit him to stop him, “ever since you kept pushing me away,” you run a hand down his side, sly grin on your swollen lips, “and i had to come up with something if i wanted to get myself off alone.”

with an exasperated groan, he falls against you, suffocating you as his body goes limp above yours. you let out a gasp when you feel him hardening against your leg and he speaks into your neck, “you’re seriously telling me i’ve been missing out on taking you like this for… for how long now?”

you kiss his cheek, hand slipping down his boxers with a soft exhale, “a while. and if you hadn’t come to your senses today… well, i’d all but given up on you today. when jeonghan kissed me, i was just going to—”

suddenly your breath escapes you, mingyu’s hand around your throat and his lips on yours with a loud grunt. he stops your hand in its movements, “please tell me you’re not talking about jeonghan while— fuck!” he gasps when you bite his lower lip to protest his hand on yours. his hand gives way and you’re palming the tent in his boxers again, pushing him down against the bed, so thankful he doesn’t have a rooommate in times like this.

you place a kiss at the corner of his lips and trail down his chest, shirt long gone, before muttering, “forgive me?”

—

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

i really want to write a more wholesome ending but have not the time or energy right now, so i'll be back with a shorter spin-off/ epilogue of sorts about how you and mingyu as a couple work out, how your friends react, some skinship, etc.

anyway, this is my official announcement that i've become a baby carat :] didn't know how much i was missing out on before svt so this is very fun. so far, jeonghan's my favorite little guy, although as is clear from this... mingyu makes me do things. on the roster are: minghao and joshua. hopefully there will be more svt fics in the future. no promises <3 goodbye friends and foes!!

3K notes · View notes

keyotos · 1 year

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kiss the girl

summary ⎯ five times dan heng has thought about kissing you, and the one time he actually does.

tana's words ⎯ i've been recently listening to kiss the girl (ashley tisdale version) and its cute and made me think of dan heng. and idk if this follows canon story or not bc im not at xianzhou yet lolz.

also ik the title says 'kiss the girl' but that's only bc i was listening to the song. reader is gender neutral.

tags ⎯ friends to lovers. pining i think. hurt and comfort (at the end). flustered dan heng. fluff i think.

THE FIRST TIME dan heng thinks about kissing you, he immediately pushes away the thought. it was out of character; it was outrageous for him to think of a friend that way. it made him feel perverted for even thinking of the action.

it was a sunny day. you two (plus march and stelle) were in belobog at the time and you guys were witnessing bronya's speech. all of you agreed the speech was marvelous, and you all felt a sense of pride for bronya.

your eyes were sparkling in the sun as you watched bronya speak, and dan heng couldn't help but become enamoured by your face. he looked away from his paper to peek at your awed expression.

at that moment, dan heng thought you were the most beautiful person he's ever seen. but he can't think that. he cannot. not only were you a fellow trailblazer, but you were also his friend. he couldn't risk one of his greatest friendships over something as minimal as this.

so, he pushed the thought out of his brain. he thought that it would be gone forever, but he was deeply wrong.

THE SECOND TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you occured while you two were gazing in the astral express. by this time, you two have left belobog, and are awaiting your next journey.

you chose to pass the time by 'star-watching,' a new term you created as a substitute to cloud watching. the activity is similar to cloud watching as you point out shapes that make beings.

dan heng told you that you were just pointing out constellations, you said that you wanted to pass on the technicalities.

so now, you two were star-watching. you kept pointing out absurd patterns, such as, "this one looks like svarog," (it did not) and, "this one looks like balls." of course, none of the constellations looked like either of the comparisons (dan heng was thinking about taking you to the eye doctor), but dan heng played along anyway. anything to make you smile.

at one point, the absurdities stopped, and you began pointing out real constellations. so many beautiful creations in the sky, yet the real beautiful thing was right next to him, continuously pointing out constellations.

you rested your head on your hand, mindlessly gazing out at the empty field of stars in front of you, "it's beautiful."

"yeah," dan heng mindlessly replies, not even realizing what he's just said, "it is," he finally says, looking at you.

maybe it's the light from the stars hitting your face, or maybe it was just your radiant beauty, but the urge to kiss you came up once again. subconsciously, dan heng knew the feeling would arise sooner or later. but that didn't mean he liked the feeling.

he wants to preserve your friendship so bad; but sometimes, the line drawn alongside friendship and love begins to thin. sometimes, the line gets so thin that dan heng fears that he'll trip and fall into you.

THE THIRD TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was when you two were hanging out in his room. over the span of months, dan heng has learned to appreciate your being, and sometimes (he will never admit this) he feels calmer around you.

usually, dan heng didn't let other people be in his room, but it was different with you. for some reason, he liked it when you were in his room. sometimes, he finds himself wanting you to be in his room.

he was quietly sorting through his data bank while you were reading. it was such a calm and quiet moment; dan heng felt peace for once. there was music playing softly in the back, the room was silent, and the air was just right. it felt nice.

dan heng was too tuned into his data bank that he didn't hear footsteps coming up closer to him. it was only when he turned his head to check on you, that dan heng noticed you were right next to him.

you were right next to him, head nearly leaning on his shoulder, and you were so close to him. dan heng's heart was about to beat out of his chest, and he began to worry about the warmth that was rapidly spreading to his neck.

when you noticed dan heng's reaction, you thought you'd surprised him. you moved a little bit back, "sorry, did i scare you?"

"no, not at all. i was just a little startled," dan heng replied while rubbing the back of his (reddening) neck.

"that's like, the same thing as scared," you gave a low chuckle and moved closer to him once again, "you would know this."

"dunno," dan heng paused, "maybe i was too frightened to remember." when you laughed at that, dan heng swore he blushed all the way up to his ears.

"you are not funny," you gave him a slight shove that didn't really affect him. you leaned closer into the database, "what are you doing?"

you didn't realize how close you were to dan heng, your faces nearly touching. you were scrolling around his data bank while dan heng was trying to hide his rampant blush from your eyes.

dan heng stared at you while you browsed, taking in your close presence. you didn't seem nearly as tense as he did. you were relaxed, comfortable, you leaned into him. dan heng found himself staring longer than normal.

then, the thought, came in. the same recurring thought he'd been having for a long time: the thought to kiss you. he wanted to take you by the hands and pull you closer to him. he wanted to feel your palms and he wanted to feel you closer to him.

and this is the moment were dan heng realizes that he wants to be more than friends. dan heng realizes that he likes you; he wants you to be with him, he wants to feel you by his side. he wants endless star-watching nights; he wants to see you constantly.

and that is dangerous. not only would that ruin your friendship, but it would also endanger you. there's so much that would put you at risk.

"you should go back to your room," dan heng puts a gentle hand on your shoulder, causing you to look back up at him. your confused expression almost shatters dan heng's resilience, but he goes on, "it's late. go get some rest."

you keep the hand on your shoulder, "you too. don't stay up too late, okay?" the soft tone of your voice makes dan heng melt, and he almost wants to pull you back and ask you to stay. almost.

dan heng nods and you leave. he leans back on his desk and puts his head in his hands. what is he going to do?

THE FOURTH TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was the night you arrived in the xianzhou. you (and march and stelle) were exploring the city and it's wonders while dan heng was treading carefully behind you.

you haven't had a full conversation with dan heng for days. you assume it was probably because you were snooping around his data bank, but he has never minded that before. you haven't got an actual chance to apologize either, because for some reason, dan heng is now constantly busy.

the four of you decided that you would split up to look around. march immediately went to stelle, so that left you with dan heng.

dan heng knew this would happen. he couldn't avoid you for too long anyway, even if he tried. he would always end up gravitating back towards you.

it pained him to not talk to you. he missed your voice, your jokes, your little touches. he missed your book talks, he missed the way you'd always be in his room, he even missed your nosiness.

you and dan heng were aimlessly strolling around the streets until you found a lively street parlor. they were selling food, and the aroma was absolutely divine. dan heng knew you immediately caught your mind on something when he saw your beaming face.

you still haven't found a correct time to apologize to dan heng, but that can wait for later. you just wanted to talk to him. "dan heng! we should try some," you beamed.

"okay. i'll wait over here," dan heng monotonously replied. your smile slightly faltered, dan heng thought the sight to be excruciating.

he couldn't still be mad at you, right? you had to apologize soon, because this silent is agonizing. you couldn't help the fact that you missed dan heng. you missed late nights and his warm touch. you missed his sarcasm and his gentle nature.

when you returned, you brought back one giant kebab that dan heng knew you couldn't finish. you'd probably have enough to share with the entire express.

when you took a bite of the kebab, you moaned with delight, and dan heng forgot how much he missed your smile. it all came rushing back to him, all the things he missed about you. you are right here, in his grasp, yet he still cannot have you.

after your first bite, you offered a second bite to dan heng. etiquette was all out of the picture when you were there.

originally, dan heng wasn't planning to eat. there were lots of problems at hand, and dan heng could not relax now. but you were an obstacle in his equation. how could he refuse you when you were practically bouncing on your toes, smiling, and looking at him with such mirthful eyes. saying no to you was like refusing a blessing from the aeons.

he took a bite out of the kebab, to which he nodded in delight. dan heng finished chewing with a delighted expression on his face, and your smile appeared once again. dan heng felt his lips creep up, and sooner or later, he was smiling as well.

he looked down at your happy expression, and he noticed that you had food on the corner of your mouth. dan heng usually scolded you for being slightly messy, but in this tender moment, there was no need.

dan hen grabbed a napkin from a nearby table and wiped the corner off your mouth off. he wiped the food off so tenderly that you would think he was tending to something delicate and fragile. and the gaze he gave you after. you nearly passed out. dan heng looked at you with such fondness and love that you gripped the kebab harder.

his mind hadn't registered what he just did before you quietly said, "thank you."

dan heng nearly malfunctioned. what he just did was criminal. it was a simple thing, however it was most criminal to dan heng. during that moment, all he could think of was your lips on his. the tenderness of his touch was his mind projecting how he would cup your face when you two kissed. all of it felt so wrong, but so right.

"no problem," dan heng blushed and avoided your eyes. "do you... do you think we should meet back up with march and stelle?"

"yeah," you looked down at the ground, slightly flustered, "yeah. let's go."

things were awkward. but at least things were okay. and that was all that mattered to you.

MARCH 7TH HAD speculations. you and dan heng were like a pair. you two were a dynamic duo, second to march and stelle, of course. you would always be seen with each other. when march "accidentally" stumbles into dan heng's room, you'd be somewhere in there as well.

so, why is it that whenever march barges into dan heng's room, you aren't there? why are you not with him? why is he "constantly busy" when he there is nothing to store in the data bank? something was up, and march was determined to find out what was happening.

"don't you think it's weird that we never see dan heng and yn together anymore?" march asked stelle while sipping on juice.

stelle huffed, "i mean, it's a little weird. but maybe they're both exhausted. we just got out of belobog and now we're facing more conflict in another world."

"yeah, but," march paused for dramatic effect, "i saw them together in dan heng's room a few days ago."

stelle furrowed her eyebrows, "are you stalking them or something?"

"what?!" march exclaimed, nearly jumping out of her seat. the scene caused stelle to laugh, "no. of course not, i can't believe you accused me of that!"

"so... you don't think it's weird that we never see them together anymore?" march continued.

"okay. i'll answer. it's a little weird. but whatever it is i'm sure they have a reasonable explanation for it," stelle said. "why are you asking about them anyway?"

"because," march drew out the syllables, "they're cute. i've been shipping them. and plus, dan heng hasn't really been acting like himself recently."

"yeah, but what are we gonna do about it? he hasn't really opened up to us about his problems... like... ever..." stelle trailed off, as if she tried to remember how many times dan heng has ever spoken about himself.

"don't worry stelle," march grinned, "i have a plan."

"i can't believe we fell for this," you grimaced in the closet you were stuck in.

march and stelle split up and told both of you that there was a group meeting in march's room. obviously, because the both of you thought there was something urgent, you rushed in there. you were prepared, only to be ambushed and pushed in a closet by march and stelle as a ploy to "make up."

alas, you knew you needed to talk things out sooner or later.

dan heng, on the other hand, was freaking out. you're close. you're so close that he can feel every time you exhale out of your nose. this closet had no space, so you were practically pressed up on dan heng.

the one thing he couldn't see though, was your face. dan heng wanted to see your face. he wanted to study you up close: he wanted to your skin with his hands, wanted to pull you closer so he can observe the way your mouth lifts when you smile. he wants so much, but he can have none of it.

"i think i can break us out," dan heng offered.

"do you think they're guarding the doors?" you chuckled. dan heng gave a small smile after hearing your laugh. it's ironic that you're laughing in this situation while dan heng's heart is about to burst.

"i think the both of us can take them," dan heng answered.

this is the most you two have ever spoken to each other in days. you missed his voice and you missed being so close to him. unconsciously, you leaned closer to dan heng. you would know his warmth from anywhere.

as you two try to find a good point to hit, your hands brush against dan heng's. the way his hand feels on top of yours just feels right. the way his touch is still so gentle; oh how badly you missed his touch against yours.

"i'm sorry!" dan heng quickly removed his hands from yours. he moved away from you as well. you wanted so badly to chase him: you wanted to come closer, to place your hands with his one more time.

but you didn't. you doubted the fact that dan heng wanted to be near you. with his recent actions, you were wondering if the two of you were still on good terms or not. you could mess everything up with one action; dan heng was the very last thing you wanted to lose.

when you two finally found a good breaking point, you both put all your body strength into prying the doors open. it took a few tries, but the doors finally opened. however, there were consequences. the closet fell down with the combined force of both your bodies shaking it.

before you two fell to the floor, dan heng grabbed your arm and pulled you underneath him in a quick motion. your heart raced against your chest; you were so close that you could feel dan heng's heartbeat as well. and to your surprise, his heart was beating just as fast as yours.

the closet fell on top of you, and dan heng shoved it off of the two of you in one motion. seeing him do that just made your heart beat faster, and you were sure that you were breathing faster as well.

dan heng looked down to check on you, but doing so brought him much closer to you. closer than he had ever been. if dan heng moved down a little bit more, he would be able to close the distance between your lips. the urge was tempting: he was on top of you, your faces were both so close to each other, and your breathing was rampant and quick.

"are you alright?" dan heng asked. his breath fanned your face and you stared right into his eyes.

"i should be asking you that," you breathlessly whispered. he was so close and you were about to burst.

"i'm alright," he leaned down closer, "don't worry about me."

you two were both in a daze when you found yourselves leaning closer to each other. dan heng cupped your face; he couldn't wait any longer. all resilience went out the window, because right here, right now, you were here. you were in front of him, looking as radiant as ever, and dan heng could close the distance right now.

his hands treaded carefully across your face, as if you were one-of-a-kind. finally, his hands rested against your cheeks, and he leaned closer. dan heng was so close to kissing you before a commotion entered the room.

"OH MY GOD!" march exclaimed before running out of the room.

you startled, and accidentally pushed dan heng off of you. you frantically apologized while dan heng brushed himself off and helped you up. you were shaking at what almost just happened. you almost kissed your best friend.

the distance between you and dan heng was wide. he made sure to stand exactly five feet away from you. his hands were crossed and he refused to look at you. dan heng was worried that if he got even the slightest glance at you, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from what would happen next.

you both quickly left the room with racing hearts, confused thoughts, and a realization that whatever just happened was a mistake.

WHENEVER DAN HENG NEEDS SOMEONE to help him with his wounds, you are always that person.

at first, it was for team bonding. before stelle came, you all would take turns patching wounds to build team trust. however, with dan heng, the only person that he'd let patch up his wounds was you. you used to tease him and tell him that he was like a dog in that way, but he always brushed it off.

you were always gentle with him; carefully touching up on cuts and bruises with bandages or rubbing alcohol. by no means were you any doctor, but you were tender and calm.

dan heng was wounded again. there was no reason for him to be wounded. the fight was tame; the enemies weren't extremely powerful or anything. but for some reason, dan heng surpassed the rest of the team with more cuts.

now, you two were in a small room together. luckily, it's more spacious than the closet, but it wasn't as big as dan heng's room. you and dan heng were both sitting on a table; you sitting criss-cross-applesauce while dan heng was sitting properly.

the both of you haven't talked ever since the closet incident. instead, you two have been sharing gazes, brushing past each other in halls, and staying five feet away from each other.

this was the closest you have been in a while.

you are focused on banadaging dan heng's cuts. your eyes are glued to his arms and torso; you refused to look up at dan heng. you couldn't look at him for two reasons: you were slightly mad at him for obtaining so many injuries and you still couldn't look him in the eye after the past situation.

dan heng sat in silence as you tended to him. he knew you were mad at him, and he felt awful. dan heng knew that he didn't need to sustain as many injuries has he had. the only reason why he had so many injuries was that he was trying to distract himself from his feelings. the closet situation had him questioning himself. given the chance, would he hold himself back or would he let his urges win?

"i'm done," you let go of his arms and started putting bandages away. dan heng didn't know you'd be done so quickly. he wanted to bask in your grace for a little longer. dan heng thought about pulling a stitch in order to get you to stay longer, but that just seemed weird.

dan heng knew he couldn't let you leave like this. there was too many unspoken words between you two; most of them, partially his.

during this, dan heng realized something. he realized that, even though you are still mad at him, you stayed with him. you didn't ask for march or stelle to help him, but you did it yourself. dan heng could be reading too much into it, but dan heng is tired. he's tired of longing for you.

and maybe, just maybe, if you'll stay when it gets difficult (like right now), maybe you'll stay when it gets hard as well.

dan heng decides to leave all resilience behind. for once, he doesn't calculate the consequences nor does he hold himself back.

you're about to slide off the table until dan heng pleads, "wait." he grabs your arm and holds you there with a gentle grip. you could slip out of it if you wanted to, but this may be the first actual conversation the two of you will have in a while.

dan heng takes your silence as an answer. "thank you," he says. he curses at himself at the simple response. it was anti-climatic. "i appreciate you," he adds on.

the compliment made you blush, even though it was very simplistic. you avoid looking at him and rather focus on tapping your fingers on the table. "no problem. it was nothing anyway."

you two remain silent for a few moments; you didn't want to leave in fear that this may be one of your few conversations. dan heng was trying to find the right words to say.

"i really do appreciate you. for being here. for always being here," he continues. dan heng realizes he sounds redundant, and he wants to slap his palm across his face. with you, he couldn't find the right words to convey his actions. saying, "i'm sorry," wasn't enough and saying, "i miss you," was too little.

"i told you. it's nothing. i'd do the same for everyone else," and you wanted to chide yourself for saying the last sentence. not true, because the only person who'd you really do all of this for was only dan heng.

"i think this is the longest conversation we've had in a while," you murmur to yourself.

"i know," dan heng replies. you jump back on the table, almost falling off. if it wasn't for dan heng catching you (yet again), you would've fell off. his touch sends electricity through your veins; his touch brings warmth to your body.

"hey! you need to watch your stitches," you automatically scolded him. your nagging was a normal occurrence, but this time, it felt rare. dan heng hasn't heard you nag at him for years (days), and he feels as though he can breath normally now.

"sorry," he pulls back. you're left shuffling closer to dan heng, not that you notice, due to your almost fall. you two were facing each other now; the distance was a lot closer than before.

you let out a small laugh at the situation. practically falling of a table was not a laughing matter, but you always found joy in those situations. sometimes, dan heng thought it was a bit strange, but he always valued your optimism.

"i'm sorry dan heng," you look back down on the table, "i didn't know going through your data bank would make you ignore me for days," you let out dry chuckle.

dan heng furrows his eyebrows in shock, "don't apologize. i don't mind you looking through the data bank."

you looked up after his reply, expression shadowed with confusion, "wait? really? so... why the radio silence? did i have something to do with it?"

"no! no, it wasn't you," dan heng quickly reassured. "it was me. i was the problem."

"don't have to tell me that," you smiled and bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing.

"i'm gonna let that slide," dan heng smirked. it was nice, the way you two fell back into your normal routines once again. it was like all the tension that was previously there, simply dissipated.

"i missed you," you crossed your legs on the table, moving back to the criss-cross applesauce position.

"me too," dan heng replied. "i missed you a lot." he looked straight into your eyes.

you flustered underneath his gaze, "i probably missed you more. sometimes i dunno if i can survive without you," you joked. it was a joke, but occasionally, you find it to be true.

"for me, it's the other way around," dan heng mumbled beneath his breath. "i really missed you. and our late nights. and star-watching."

"you missed star-watching?" you astonishly asked. dan heng wished he could take a picture of your grin when he told you that he missed star-watching.

"i missed a lot of things," dan heng paused, "but i missed you the most."

"i'm sorry for pushing you away yn. i was just⎯ scared," time to rip off the band-aid, "when i'm around you, i just get so messed up. you're the only thing on my mind sometimes. everything about you just makes me⎯ breathless? speechless? you amaze me to the point where i can't even think of a word to describe you."

dan heng pauses and his heart is racing. you're looking at him as if you want him to continue, as if you want him to finally say what he wants. dan heng doesn't know that you want it too.

"yn," dan heng looks straight at you, "i have feelings for you. feelings that i think will overwhelm me at one point if i keep it all together. i never stop thinking about you, longing for you. i want you and i think i really want to kiss you," dan heng finishes. he fumbled on his words back there, because he doesn't think he wants to kiss you, he wants to.

"dan heng..." your face is hot. your body is hot. your breathing is fast-paced and you feel like you are about to be on fire. adrenaline rushes through your veins and you are sure you are not thinking straight.

you pull him in for a kiss, tugging him closer by his chin and kissing him passionately. you take that fire from your body and you pour it all into this kiss. dan heng is surprised at first, but then reciprocates your actions. while your hand is on his face, his hands slide to your hips, tugging you closer and holding you tighter.

you two kiss until you have to stop for air. when you breathe, the whole world feels like it's on fire as well.

"i feel the same. i can't stop thinking about you," you lean in for another kiss, "i miss you," another kiss, "i missed being with you," another, "i missed being close to you," another, this time a little longer, "but i really hope i don't miss this."

"don't worry," dan heng pauses, "you won't. i promise."

and after all of that, dan heng finally got to kiss you.

#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#this was a monster to write #i got this finished in one day #dan heng x you #dan heng x reader #dan heng #honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #dan heng imagines #the way it just gets progressively longer #im gonna need 3-5 business days to recover #PROMOTING MY STELLE MARCH / STARCH AGENDA!!! STARCH STARCH STARCH #can you tell it got worse at the end

1K notes · View notes

jaylver · 6 months

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I WANNA BE YOURS — P.SH

synopsis: hiding your secret relationship with sunghoon from your brother, jay, proved to be quite a challenge. that was until you’ve had enough of it, and sunghoon had to prove himself that he wants to be yours.

pairings: non-idol!sunghoon x afab!reader

genre: brother's best friend au, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, romance, humour

warning(s): profanities, slight suggestiveness

wc: 1340

a/n: sorry for the inactivity (currently going insane) !! as promised, here's the hoon drabble, apologies in advance if it's lacking 😭 not my best work imo. will be back after tomorrow since it's my last paper (yay) so please wait for me hehe. as usual, feedbacks and reblogs are much appreciated ! love you all !

This was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Who said it would be a good idea to get involved with your brother's best friend? Nobody. Exactly.

You found yourself somehow being tangled with Park Sunghoon ever since a party your brother and his friends held. He was only two years older than you and you've known him for practically your whole life. Your brother, Park Jong Seong, had known Sunghoon ever since they were kids, so he was definitely far from a stranger.

Coming around your house almost every day, dinners during festivities, holding parties when your parents were out of town, Sunghoon's always there no matter what the occasion was. It didn't help that he was nice to you too. Constantly giving you friendly smiles and acknowledging you when your brother chased you away during their 'bro time', he was a sweetheart.

Eventually, you knew you were in hell once you discovered your teeny tiny crush on Sunghoon was real and existing. To be fair, he was gorgeous, paired with an even prettier personality.

Yet, Jay was there to cockblock you and stop your chances. Look, he's a great brother to you, but he made it clear that you were 'off-limits', whatever that was. You couldn't believe it either.

Being the typical little sister, it was natural to defy your big brother and do exactly what he told you not to. Unbeknownst to him, you've gone behind his back and got with one of them. That explained why Sunghoon being in your room was wrong, especially when he's in your bed.

"Fuck—what about Jay?" You rasped out in between kisses, feeling the touch of his lips travelling down your throat.

Sunghoon groaned, his hands on your waist tightened momentarily. "He's not going to know I'm in here. I snuck in from your window anyway,"

"He can suddenly barge in,"

"You have your doors locked,"

Those words might seem nonchalant, but it was more than what it meant.

The times he's spent in your room, knowing each and every part of it, the crevices of your sheets to the feeling of your skin on his. It wasn't just something simple. Neither was the fact of your door always being locked.

"I–I don't know," you suddenly turned uncertain, pushing yourself up and having him stop.

"Hm? Are you okay? Something's up?" His face morphed into a look of concern, worried at your abrupt change in emotions.

"It's just—" you sighed, not knowing how to approach it, "I wish we could be honest to Jong. I don't want to sneak around anymore, Hoon, it almost feels like you want to keep me a secret,"

"I don't, Y/N, I would never want that," he ran a hand through his hair, proceeding to take yours in his. "I want to be with you, hell, I want to tell everyone that. I wanna be yours,"

"But? What even are we?"

Right, you got to the question that everyone feared.

"Your brother. I don't know when I can do it,"

Frustration etched deeper into your face. "Hoon, if you don't know when you'll do it, then maybe, maybe, you just don't want me like that, or that you're scared to admit your actual feelings and continue to toy me around,"

"No—"

"Goodnight, Sunghoon."

You turned over onto your side, frowning deeply. It was time for him to set his shit right, and he was going to have to figure it out himself.

The next few times you saw Sunghoon after that night was when he came over to hang out with your brother. He has been texting you, to which you reciprocated dryly. He even got you flowers, your favourite snacks and even waited for you outside your bedroom door, but all of that wasn't enough for you to forgive him.

Why couldn't he just tell Jay the truth? If it was you, you would've already said it, but since Sunghoon was reluctant, you didn't. This was frustrating.

What's more frustrating was having Sunghoon seated next to you at the dinner table during dinner. You could feel him casting glances at you, nervousness emitting from his body quite obviously.

You were acting nonchalant, almost too nonchalant that it even had Jay casting glances between you and his jittery best friend. However, he said nothing.

"Hoon, pass the salad to Y/N," your brother said from Sunghoon's side, nudging him. You glanced up at the mention of your name, meeting Sunghoon's slightly widened eyes and confused stare.

"I—uh—here," he took the bowl and passed it to you, chewing the insides of his mouth.

How could you be mad at him when he looked like that? Sunghoon's starry eyes that never failed to soften your heart, the moles that decorated his face which you've traced in the night when he was asleep, he was your Sunghoon, or so you thought.

"Thanks," you said softly, offering a smile that he warmly reciprocated.

As you took the bowl from him, you felt the feather-like touch of his fingers grazing against yours, sending electricity up your senses. You locked eyes with him again, this time an equal want and pining evident in both your gazes.

He was the first to cough and retreat his hold on the bowl. You were snapped out of your momentary daze and also let out an awkward cough, scooping the salad into your bowl to shake off the feeling he gave you just now.

Once dinner was over, you took the very first chance to escape back upstairs, heart beating quicker the way up, and there was probably a reason for your anxiety. Sunghoon.

"Y/N," almost as fast as he had popped into your mind, he appeared behind you, probably followed you up. He got a hold of your wrist, stopping you in your tracks and you turned around, mouth slightly agape. "I figured we should … talk,"

You took in his words, nodding slowly. "We should,"

"I'm sorry," he said without any hesitation, a hint of desperation laced in both his gaze and voice. "I was wrong for not putting a label on our relationship, I should've treated you better, you're everything to me. My heart wouldn't stop beating whenever I see you, you've completely bewitched me, you've drove me insane,"

Sunghoon heaved in a breath, stepping closer. "Secrets I've held in my heart are harder to hide than I thought. I told everything to Jay,"

"You—what?"

"I did. I realised what you said was right and I told him. He's cool with it, Y/N," Sunghoon smiled, and it was the same smile he only had whenever he's around you.

"Really?"

"Really," he intertwined your fingers with his, pulling you close. "I wanna be yours, Y/N. You have my deep devotion, always,"

"Gosh, I want you to be mine—need you. I like you, a lot, like crazy a lot. I wanna be yours too,"

"You genuinely drive me insane," he leaned in close, the tip of his nose brushing against yours, his lips edging closer. "Tell me if I can kiss you, pretty girl,"

He's kissed you many times, but this round, it hits differently. "You can,"

It didn't take Sunghoon another second before crashing his lips onto yours. He was pouring his pent up frustration, angst, desperation, and love into his kiss, almost kissing you as if there was no tomorrow.

As things escalated, you pushed him into your room, letting him spend the night where he smoothly asked you to be his girlfriend, which you agreed to, duh.

All was well between you and Sunghoon. You even got together and started planning out dates. It was meant to be.

On the other hand, Jay spent the night with music blasting in his ears. He had already suspected something between you and his best friend, but to find out it had been happening for months? It was shocking. But, he wasn't opposed to it.

He just has to make sure to close his eyes whenever you two are around together. Couples, ew.

☆ permanent taglist (open):

@silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld @ilovegyuvin @enhacatalog @aishigrey

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runnning-outof-time · 2 years

Text

Love, I Just Need to See | Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: yes by anonymous

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: In which Tommy needs glasses and (Y/N) has an opinion about every type of frame that's offered.

Warnings: language, smoking

Word Count: 2281

A/N: this was just a fun request to write...I think it’s one of my favorite stories of mine. Oh to be doing domestic things with Tommy Shelby *sigh*. Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future stories that are similar to this one!

(Y/N) was able to hear the sounds of frustrated mumbling coming from inside Tommy's office as she walked past its slightly ajar door. "Tom?" she questioned as she peered her head in. Squinting her eyes to try to get them to adjust to the dim lighting of the room, she was able to make out that he was sitting at his desk.

"Yes?" he asked as he looked up from his papers, surprise clear on his face. He wasn't expecting her to be at his door.

"Everything ok?" she asked, taking his response as her ok to enter the room. If he hadn't wanted her in there, he would have told her to leave.

"Yes. I, uh..." he paused, his eyes glancing around his desk as he tried to find what he was looking for, "I'm just having a hard time balancing the logs is all," he admitted to her.

(Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows as she walked even further into the room. Once at his desk, she extended her hand and waved her fingers at him, her nonverbal way of asking him for what he was working on. He understood and neatly compiled the papers before handing them over to her. "Doctor said that you shouldn't be overworking yourself like this," she commented as she looked over the work he'd done so far.

"Yeah? Well fuck what the doctor says," Tommy grumbled, focusing himself on lighting a cigarette before he looked at her once more. (Y/N) sighed at his response, knowing that she should've expected something along those lines. But she tried anyway, wanting the best for her husband and his health.

"I think I know what your problem is," she announced after a few minutes had passed.

"What's that?" he inquired, his eyebrows raised.

"Your numbers are wrong," she told him, glancing up in time to see his face fill with confusion.

"That's impossible," Tommy shook his head, not wanting to believe that something like that would be the cause of the error.

"It's what's wrong," (Y/N) insisted as she moved around the desk so that she could be standing right next to his chair. "See, lookit...you've got 119 pounds listed here on the intake and then, for the same day's totals, you've written 109 pounds. You're never going to get the correct numbers if you don't have them consistent everywhere," she explained, glancing over at him before she trained her eyes on the books once more. "Do you have the initial papers you've copied this off of?" she asked then. Tommy nodded his head. "Can I see them?" was her next request. Silently, he grabbed them from his pile and handed them to her. It only took her a few moments to find yet another problem: "these aren't even the correct numbers, Tommy."

"What do you mean?" he questioned, his brows deeply furrowed as he took the paper back from her and then looked between it and the log on his desk.

"What day are you doing the totals for?" she asked him.

"Thursday."

"And what day does that say on the paper?" was her next question.

"Thursday," he responded with confidence, but (Y/N) shook her head.

"That says Tuesday, love," she corrected him before pointing to the paper in his hands, "see? T-U-E-S..."

"I know how to fuckin' spell, alright?" he cut her off with aggrivation in his tone.

"Then why don't you have the days right?" she asked him, not realizing how accusatory her question sounded until she said it.

Tommy inhaled deeply and then exhaled his breath in a long sigh. "It's because the words are blurry," he answered, his voice coming out in a low mumble.

"What's that?" she asked for him to repeat what he'd said.

"I can't tell what's what because the words on the fucking paper are blurry, ok?" he repeated himself, his words stressed and his agitation evident.

"Ok," she nodded, agreeing with him in a soft voice. She wanted to say that she was shocked by his admission, but honestly, she was expecting something like this to happen. He did just come back from his extended hospital stay, where he suffered a cracked skull and internal bleeding around his brain, among other injuries. The fact that he didn’t have many lingering effects or problems from it surprised her greatly.

Tommy sighed again and dropped the paper onto the desk before he ran his hands through his hair. He then dropped his face into his hands as his elbows rested on the desktop. "What am I supposed to do now, eh?" he finally questioned after a few moments of silence had passed. He then looked up at (Y/N) with an expression on his face that gripped at her heart. She'd only seen Tommy Shelby's desperation a handful of times, and a similar reaction was elicited from each.

"Well..." she trailed off as she sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, "I suppose we should take a trip to an optometrist," she suggested.

Tommy nodded silently as he took in what she had to say. It was pretty obvious to him that he needed to seek help with his vision problem. It was impeding on his ability, which in turn made him extremely frustrated. "Ok," he agreed with her, nodding once more, "I know someone who probably has a person he goes to. I can ask him who he'd recommend for me," he then laid out his plan for getting this problem fixed.

"Good. I suggest that you get it done as soon as possible," (Y/N) was happy to hear that he was willing to get some help with this issue.

"I will," he assured her, "but for now, can you help me with these logs so that I can get them finished for tonight?"

She agreed to his request within seconds. "Of course, Tom. I'd be happy to help," she answered with a smile before she managed to drag one of the empty chairs over to his desk so that she could sit and help him finish his work.

"I've got that appointment today," Tommy mentioned as he entered the sitting room (Y/N) was occupying.

"For your eyes?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"Yes," he nodded, chuckling slightly at her obvious intrigue.

"Oh, that's great," (Y/N) said with a smile before an idea came to mind. "Say, can I come with you, Tommy?"

"For what?" he was confused. In his mind, a trip to a doctor's office seemed like a bore.

“Because I want to be there when you pick out your glasses,” a smile formed on her face as she spoke.

“And you’re so sure that I’ll need glasses?” Tommy shot back.

She sent him an ‘are you serious?’ look as an initial response to his question. “I think that was made pretty obvious the other day,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone. Tommy shook his head as he tried to stop the smile from forming on his face. “Can I, Tommy...please?” she asked him again, putting on her best ‘puppy dog pout’.

“Fine,” he agreed to her ask after taking less than a minute to contemplate it. What bad could come out of his wife attending his appointment with him?

(Y/N) jumped off of the couch with a newfound excitement, and she quickly ran into the foyer to ask Mary to grab her coat and purse. Soon enough, she was ready to go, and Tommy had met her outside in the car that he brought around.

Tommy quickly realized that something bad could come from his wife attending his appointment.

“What about these frames, Mrs. Shelby?” the doctor asked as he came in with yet another option to look at. After about the fourth time, he stopped asking Tommy and decided to begin appeasing the woman in the room.

(Y/N) pursed her lips as she examined the thicker-framed glasses that held an oval-shaped lens in the middle. She then held them up to Tommy, who wordlessly tried them on without having to be asked to. She then tapped her chin as she stared at him for a few moments. “I don’t like these either. They’re too bulky,” she finally gave her opinion, her words simultaneously making Tommy sigh and the doctor nod profusely.

“That’s just what I was thinking...I couldn’t see such a stately man wearing lenses like these. I’ll go see what else I have in stock,” the doctor was quick to agree with the woman, and Tommy silently cursed him for egging her on. He then quickly hurried out of the room to get another pair. Soon enough, he was back with more options. This time he held two in his hands. “I brought both sizes of these. Let’s see what you think,” he said as he sat them down on the desk.

(Y/N) grabbed the first pair and looked them over. The frame was thin and gold and it once again held ovalic lenses. “Try these on,” she told Tommy before handing them over to him. Tommy nodded and went through the motions of placing the glasses on his face. Once again, (Y/N) pursed her lips as she took in his appearance. “No...I think they make you look like Scrooge from that one Christmas book,” she gave her opinion on it, her words making Tommy sigh.

“I don’t care about what they look like on me, love, I just need to see,” he finally voiced his exasperation, effectively showing her that his patience was running thin.

“I’m the one who’s gotta look at you though, so I’d at least like to find something that suits you well,” she challenged his statement, her words making him exhale a sigh. He knew that this would be a losing battle for him, so he just kept his mouth shut. “Try these on,” she told him then, raising a pair that looked almost identical to the last up for him to look at. The only thing that had been changed was that the lenses were smaller and circular.

“How are they, Mrs. Shelby?” the doctor then asked after it’d been quiet for a few moments. He was eagerly awaiting her opinion on the frames.

“I like these,” she said, nodding her head slightly before she doubled down on her statement: “yes. These are the ones you should get, Tommy.”

“Finally,” Tommy let out a breath of relief at the fact that the trying-on portion of the appointment was over before he turned to the doctor, “I’ll take these.”

“Very good choice, Mr. Shelby. I’ll have those made in the proper specifications as soon as possible for you,” the doctor nodded his head, a pleased smile on his face. “You’re free to go now,” he then told the couple before he stood from his chair and shook both of their hands.

The rest of the day passed by without further talk of the glasses that Tommy would now be using. It wasn’t until he entered their bedroom for the night that (Y/N) decided to bring them up once more.

“Are you excited about your new glasses?” she asked him from behind her book as he got himself changed into what he’d be wearing to bed.

“What kind of question is that?” he responded with a question of his own, his words holding no malice or condescending tone, “of course I’m excited to be able to read properly again,” he blatantly stated, his vocal tone making (Y/N) giggle.

“No, I mean are you excited about how they look?” she specified her question once her giggles had subsided.

“I honestly don’t care what they look like, love,” he gave her his honest response as he got into his side of the bed, “I just needed to be able to see.”

(Y/N) frowned slightly at the absence of desire he had to talk about the topic. She leaned over and set her book down on the nightstand before looking back at him again. “I think you looked really good with the glasses on,” she stated in a matter-of-fact tone as a grin formed on her lips. “I didn’t think that anyone would be able to make frames like that look attractive, but you certainly did.”

“Yeah?” he asked, certainly amused by her sudden statements.

“Oh yes,” she answered, then rolling onto her side so that she’d be closer to him. “You made all of those frames look attractive, but this pair....this pair is special.”

“Well I’m glad that you think that,” he grinned at her as his arm wrapped around her from underneath, making her move even closer to his chest.

“And just when I thought that you couldn’t get any more perfect...” she trailed off, placing her hand flat against his chest so that she could sit up slightly. Her grin widened as she leaned down so that her face was closer to his, “I can’t wait until you get them delivered so that I get to see them on your handsome face again,” she whispered against his lips before she closed the gap and kissed them.

Tommy only exuded a chuckle in between the kisses she was giving him. He had a quick-witted, cheeky comeback prepared to give her, but it got lost in the feeling of her lips dancing across the skin of his jawline. So he decided to let her keep going, already knowing that her affection towards him would be increasing tenfold the moment that he was wearing those glasses again.

Tagged: @alreadybroken-ts @magicallovdrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @golden-hoax @elenavampire21 @peaky-cillian @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @easilyobessedbutflighty @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75

MASTERLIST

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x y/n #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic

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weirdmorefics · 5 months

Text

Unmasked Chpt 1- The Call

Word Count- 1,461

Morning came slowly I stayed up most of the night with nightmares. The nightmares are usually worse this time of year, I think it is my mind's way of reminding me of the anniversary of the first Ghostface murders. My brain is wrong though I need no reminder. The only thing keeping me at all sane during the night is the fact that Spencer is not lecturing today and I will get to see him in the morning at work.

I walk into the BAU with a box of donuts for the team since we are all stuck doing boring paperwork today.

"Morning kid, you look like shit. Long night?" Rossi says full of humor.

I roll my eyes and open the box of donuts, "Hey, don't bite the hand that feeds you."

Rossi puts his hands up in surrender then grabs a donut, "Thanks, kid."

As he walks away I shout "Could you stop calling me kid too because that would be great!"

I set the donuts down in the breakroom and picked out one of Spencer's favorites to set on his desk.

I approach Spencer's desk and set the napkin-wrapped donut down on his desk. "Morning Reid,"

"Thank you, Y/n morning to you too. Did you know Americans consume ten billion donuts every year?"

I smile "Well let's make that ten billion and one." My phone cuts off the conversation and I see my sister's contact photo, "Excuse me I have to take this..." I hope he didn't notice my face shift to an anxious one.

Sidney never calls only texts and she still barely does that. She thinks I am an idiot for chasing after the crazy people who kill when enough killers already come after us.

"Do not come to Woodsboro," Sidney states in a serious tone as soon as I pick up my cell.

"Wow, what a lovely way to begin a call! No, hey sis how are you?" I bite back sarcastically.

"Did you hear me Y/n? Do not come to Woodsboro!" She repeats.

" I wasn't planning on going to that hell town anytime soon. What's going on with you? Shouldn't you be busy with your book tour or something?" I respond trying not to sound concerned.

"He's back Y/n," she whines out.

I swallow deeply and walk away from the desks and towards Penelope's office she is never here this early anyway. "This isn't funny Sidney."

"I am in Woodsboro and my rental car has a murder weapon in it and ripped-up pictures of my face and yours. Oh and did I forget to mention two kids were murdered in the same exact way as the original ones... so yeah I'd say he's back." She responds quickly in an angry panic.

I slam open Penelope's door and proceed to vomit my guts out in her trash can. I hear the wheels of her chair squeak as Penelope looks at me with concern as I dry heave in her trashcan. I definitely should have checked if anyone was in here first.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" Penelope asks softly.

"Sidney, I got to let you go," I breathe out and hang up on her.

I wipe the sweat off my forehead. Why does no one ever mention how exhausting dry heaving is?

"I'm fine Garcia," I try to sound detached. I can't be here. One thing that makes the Ghostface all the same is they want to kill the Prescotts and everyone they love.

"You really don't look fine," she says full of concern.

I try to exit without a word but Penelope is quick to follow to make sure I am okay. It must be an odd scene as Penelope chases me and I speed walk away. Especially since we are always attached at the hip.

I ignore everyone's gaze and walk into Prentiss's office without a word.

Prentiss was doing paperwork of her own and did not even look up, " I need a leave of absence as soon as possible... preferably today"

That statement made her head quickly whip away from her mess of papers, "This is awfully unlike you Y/n... has something happened."

The stress of the anniversary, Ghostface, and the worry of losing Spencer Reid after we just got him back from prison seem to boil all over at once. "I JUST NEED A LEAVE OF ABSENCE IS THAT SO HARD TO DO EMILY!" I shout so loud and instantly regret as I see all my team members' eyes on me from Emily's office window.

"I am sorry Prentiss," I put my hand to my forehead fighting back the anger and fear-induced tears. I have seen so many murders I should be used to it at this point but Ghostface will always be different he always comes back as someone new.

Emily stands up shutting the blinds to her office to halt the onlookers. "L/N you need to tell me what this is about, right now! I have never once seen you act like this."

I pace back and forth the last name I made up did nothing to protect me I will always be a Prescott. I just need to get out of here before they find that out. I take a deep breath, "I am really sorry I can't, I just can't tell you. It will just get you hurt. It will get the whole team hurt and I can't do that! Spencer just got back, Scratch is gone, and the team is almost back to normal I will not ruin it. I am going to leave either way I just needed you to know."

I turn to leave but Emily grabs my arm, "Agent, if you are in danger I need to know. One more thing you also seem to be forgetting is this team won't be normal without you."

A knock follows her statement, "Is everything okay? Garcia told me Y/n was sick. Does she need a drive home?" It's Spencer's voice I can tell immediately. The question makes this even harder. Why must he be so kind? Why can't I stand to leave him?"

Emily's gaze meets mine, "I recognize that look."

"Prentiss I don't have time for your profile," I whisper shout to prevent Spencer from hearing me.

"I know all too well what it's like to be undercover Y/n," Emily states compassionately.

"I have no idea what you mean?"

"Your file is suspiciously blank and sealed of all past background and Strauss assured me it's for the better. It is similar to what my file used to look like." Emily unfortunately continues to profile me.

I feel trapped I can't go to the door Spencer is there and there is no escaping Emily's questions.

Spencer proceeds to knock again, "Everything alright in there?"

I sigh, "Emily I will tell you everything if you leave the team out of this."

"Y/n you know I can't promise that," she frowns.

I grab her hands tightly, "You have to because I know how to deal with this but every time he comes back someone around me dies!"

"Who comes back Y/n?" Emily's tone changes to a demanding one like the one she uses in the interrogation room.

"Promise me you won't tell the team! Promise me you won't let Reid get involved." Tears prick my eyes I don't care that I am being blatant about my feelings for Reid nothing can happen because I am cursed to repeat the same horrors for the rest of my life.

Emily sighs, "I promise."

"Ghostface is back... and my last name isn't L/N... it's- it's Prescott," I stutter as the words come out like saying them would make this more real than it already is.

"As in the Woodsboro killings?" Emily asks in utter disbelief.

"Unfortunately... and I have to go back there, for my sister," I state. "You can not convince me not to, I can't lose her."

"Y/n we solve cases just like this we can do this as a team," She soothes.

"Tell that to the last agent who tried to help my sister and nearly died," my stress getting the better of me causing me to shout and not notice Spencer opening Prentiss's office door.

I felt the eyes on me once again, I doubt I can talk myself out of this one. The chance of a silent escape gone stuck in a room of profiles who could sense I am on the urge to bolt out the door. Then my phone starts to ring in my pocket, none of the team seems to notice when Emily gives me a knowing look. She clearly knows the Ghostface cases well they all start with a phone call.

Taglist- @bunbunbl0gs

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction

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arsonlookers · 4 months

Text

Love me like there's no tomorrow

-------

Genshin men x reader Agnst

A/n: this is my first fanfic, you can also think of other characters other than Genshin men to your liking. this fanfic is just for me and my thoughts renting in my head. anyways, have a great day!

----------

.....

He looked at you and then back to the paper he was holding.

even without knowing what was stated in the paper, with just his sad and distressed eyes straight at you. you concluded everything...

He moved closer to your bed and sat down, inching closer and embracing you closer to his warmed body

"I love you.., you know that right?" He said Kissing your palm, looking at you with those reassuring eyes of his

you smiled knowing too well what was going on "I know"

he hugged you tight as if you would disappear within his grasp, you shared the same feelings he bore.

You hugged him tight as silence overtook the two of you.

no words could explain nor express these feelings of sadness and unexplained pain on what the future holds for both of us. No words, not sorry, no promises just silence...

as he embraced you tight in his arms, you made a similar gesture to assure him that 'It was okay', ' I am ok ' 'I know and I'm ready '

You closed your eyes to everything that had happened in your life, and memories of us started to flash in your eyes.

He suddenly pushed you and excused himself from the room trying his best to hide his face

As you saw him exit the room, you smiled bitterly at the pain, regret, and sadness. you thought you were ready but proven wrong when tears shed from your eyes and how much you tried to wipe dry tear after tear from your cheeks. 'I am not ready yet ', you thought deeply about what will happen if ever-...

your thoughts were stopped midway when you heard cries outside your room It sounded painful it went on and on until you could only hear whimpers and sobbing from the other side, and everything went silent.

"he must have been so stressed because of me huh...I'm sorry..." you mutter silently as tears slip from your cheeks

you stared at the window blankly and something caught your attention

'It's already evening and it is raining outside' you thought 'I didn't even notice'

you slowly got up from your position and walked closer to the window. you opened it wide and put your right hand on the outside of the pouring rain.

Raindrops fall from your hand. It feels cold and soothing like it's not something you should shield yourself from, it's kind, and very inviting.

As you stare blankly at your hands, drenched. An idea popped into your head.

you closed the window and started to walk to the opposite side of the room, you gently opened the door and peeked outside, checking if someone was outside or if he was outside your room, and to your luck, no one was outside.

You executed your plan, you started to go on an adventure down the hospital halls avoiding nurses as much as possible, and in search of the exit door and bask in the downpour of gentle rain.

After some time you reached the exit door and before you could open the door

A hand suddenly grabbed your shoulder- you turned behind as fast as you could, His lovely hair color was the first you could see in your peripheral view.

"where are you going?" you can see his concern and distress in his slightly red and puff eyes, in his voice, and in his touch.

..Fear. you can see it deep in his eyes as you stare at it.

his grip on your wrist is firmed

he asked again "Y/n where are you going" This time its not a question

As you looked into his eyes again you stared at him and did not answer his question, the only sound occupying the silence was the sound of the gentle rain, the ringing of telephones, and the talking of some nurses in the corner, echoing through the halls.

"..." You opened your mouth as you constructed your words in your mind and closed it after as nothing came into your mind You feel blank... you stared at the ground not looking at his concerned eyes anymore ..as if ... giving up on everything...

'I don't want to be a burden to him anymore' you thought

He senses something is not right so he looks around, he looks straight head on the window door and takes notice of the y/n's drenched right hands.

he moved his left hand and opened the exit door in front of us

you looked at him with curious eyes as if he had done something ridiculous

He walked out first from the other side of the door, and then he pulled you to his side.

he looked at you and put a relaxed and reassuring smile on his lips

"What?" he said

you smiled. knowing what his actions meant, both of you had been together for so long, knowing that smile and look that says 'I know, it's OK, or you are free to do what you want'

You faced him sweetly, chuckled, and started to walk in the gentle rain, slowly drenching yourself in and he looked at you preciously and joined you in the rain,

You hold his hands and he holds yours. tight. We walked towards the center, drenching our clothes more and more, not caring.

as if both of you were the only people left in the world

We laughed like there was no tomorrow, and we danced joyfully you jumped and jumped, and he joined you, in your shenanigans.

you held his hand and looked at him smiling blissfully, you looked at his features from his hair to his eyes and down to his nose and down to his lips, he was smiling like a little child.

He looks at you, full of love in his eyes you can see it, feel it deep inside your heart, and body. The warmth that surges your body the more you look at him you fall in love again and again, like it's the first time. And you Love everything about it...About HIM.

It was a slow dance as he put his hands on your waist, you looked at him and put both your hands on his shoulders,

we were so close to each other bodies and we didn't care if someone could see us from the inside.

You like how you could hear his heartbeat, feel his warm body close to yours as you embraced him, and how he could feel your heartbeat and the heat of both your bodies providing warmth in the cold rain.

you both swayed your bodies close to each other as if there were music in the background. We just danced and swayed our bodies in whatever fits.

it was so peaceful as you looked into his eyes you wished it would stay like this forever, dancing in the rain enjoying together embraces.

he whispered close in your ear "I love you, I love so so much" he kissed you on your lips and looked at you and only you

You love whenever he confesses his love to you, he makes you feel that he is only thinking about you as he stares at you with those lovely eyes of his.

and you love it

You love how he makes you feel Loved

every year, every month, every day, every hour, every minute, and every second of your Life.

like time slowed down for us or time completely stopped.

The only thing you could feel was his warm embrace, his love, his loving smile, and his loving whispers of 'I love you'. You can only see him and on his every move, you can only think of him. He is occupying both your mind and heart at this very moment and promise yourself that you will forever treasure and remember this moment for the rest of your life without regret.

But of course, everything must come to an end.

A nurse suddenly comes and interrupts our time together.

On your way to your room after being talked out by the nurse a sudden eruption of giggles came from you and was followed by his

It was the first time something happened like that and the first time a nurse was nagging at both of you and it was refreshing. for the first time in a while, something was different and it was not anything unpleasant, to say the least.

after reaching the room You changed your clothes, and so did he and suddenly He hugged you from behind and just swayed right and left slowly at the rhythm of his beating heart

after a while he hugged you and led you to the bed, humming your favorite song, and just embraced you under the warm covers

The sound of the rain hitting the window and his heartbeat is lulling you to relax and start to drift you off to sleep

'it's warm' you thought before drifting to unconsciousness.

The next day

he surprised you with your favorite flowers and snacks, and he stayed with you until it darks outside you played games, and watched movies while cuddling each other.

as both of you watch the last film for the night

"thank you... and love you" you mutter under your breath

he looked at you, he held you in his arms firmly and rested his head on your shoulder.

"love you too"

after that day and the next day and next

He kept surprising you each and every day

Different surprises and experiences, each and every day from picnics to a trip to the beach, romantic dates, meeting his family or your family, hanging out with your friends, and doing your hobby together.

You know you are getting weak day by day, and proof of that is always being visited by the nurses and doctors. So weak that you can't nearly walk on your own. you're getting thinner and sometimes worst cases vomits blood. It's okay he is always been there to cheer you on

but even you know he is also suffering with you, every time a doctor visits your room, hearing this painful news every time and after he will exit the room in an excuse of going to the restroom. knowing very well how painful it must have been to hear your lover's condition getting worse and worse.

every night his cries of I love you, his promises, and prayers desperate silent tears after tears by your bedside thinking you have fallen asleep.

In reality, he is also enduring the pain of reality that in the future you might.... not be by his side anymore... the thought of losing you causes him to break.

You feel guilty every time you hear his desperate cries.

days passed by, it was painfully slow but fast at the same time as days were spent by his side and loved once. And in the blink of an eye, you realize it's your anniversary, the day he first met you, and on the same date, you became you confessed to him and became official. a very special day indeed. one of the precious memories together with him and you will cherish it forever.

You wake up like normal, the sun is starting to rise from your window, and you can hear birds chirping and the sound of cars passing by, it feels peacefully warm, not cold, nor do you feel anything painful when you rise from the bed. when you were about to reach the glass from the bedside table you noticed a box and a letter beside it.

reaching for the box and opening the letter, it was written by a very familiar penmanship

Morning dear, and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY love, how are you feeling? don't forget to drink water ok? And after you eat don't forget to drink your medicine. so you might be wondering what's inside this box and if you have opened it, I hope you like it.

you opened the box and inside was a necklace and a very familiar one at that.

Love, you might be wondering why it looks familiar because this necklace is the one you commissioned last year for our Christmas but because of some computer problem the store shipped our order to the wrong place and they just refunded us a different necklace because 'they are too busy' they say.

you can clearly imagine him rolling his eyes from saying 'too busy' even though it was a total fail for a Christmas matching gift. As you look closely you realize that the other half of the necklace is missing.

"he must be wearing the other," you thought

so you took the necklace and looked at it closely, it was a lovely necklace.

you start to lock the necklace around your neck and as you look at the mirror it fits you perfectly.

your day passes uniquely, every nurse who visits your room gives you your [favorite flowers ], and special people who have been with you for your whole life visit and spend time with you. But on this special day, you just wanted to spend this very very special day with him, but you still didn't see any sign or strand of hair of your beloved husband.

you were spending the day with other people and they were taking you to every place you cherished. someone blindfolded you and took you on a long ride, you don't know what the last destination you are going but this time you hope they will take you to him.

Someone with warm hands takes the blindfold off.

There he presents himself with a lovely smile on his face.

You look around as you realize where you are right now.

Moments of that night... The night you fall in love and fall deeper as time goes on

Just like the first time you met and the day you confessed, he looked stunning as ever. Lights that illuminate that charming smile that catches your attention and breath every time.

it never fails to make your heart beat faster. Beating inside your drumming heart. Badum.

Dum-BAdum -BADUM-dum- BAdum-- Badum-DUM-BADUM-DUM-DUM - BADUM-BADUM--bAD-DUM...BADUM-BADUMBADUM

and you meant faster,

and

FaSter

and

FASTER

like it's going to burst out of its confined cage.

You grip your shirt on where your heart is placed

your vision starts to blur and your body feels heavy and unstable, your hearing is not doing any good.

You realize at this moment that time and fate are never kind.

"Y/n?!!" catching your weak body

as both of you fall on the ground

You can hear the panic in his voice, and tears fall onto your face you don't know what's going on when before you just felt fine, you didn't feel sick or nauseous or something... But...

A small smile made into your pale face and you weakly reach to his handsome face.

'If I would die today... in his arms ... Oh... His warm arms... I really love his warm embrace... I love how he touches me...love the way he smiles.. '

'don't cry...smile, love" he looks at me shocked

"shhh, y./n ....do.nt....staystrong ....love" Everything is muffled

tears keep falling from his eyes but even though tears keep falling. He still looks angelic, The man I fell in love with again and again, His other half, and I am proud to be his Wife.

To say to the world that he is mine.

"I...Love... you..'

Forever and ever...

Until darkness is the only thing you can see...

notes: some of the characters that you are thinking might not fit their character in this fanfic may be too Ooc for you. And as for the sickness if you are wondering for the sake of the plot let's just say it is something uncurable .hehe. and you can always imagine other men outside Genshin if ever you don't know them:)

thank u very much for your time reading this fanfic;)

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kydrogendragon · 5 months

Text

Dec 12 - Wrapping Paper

(Ao3 Link)

Of all the things that Hob had expected Morpheus to get stuck on in regards to the gift giving season, wrapping paper was nowhere on his list. Morpheus, having worked for the library for almost a full year now, has earned himself a good paycheck and insisted on finding appropriate gifts for those he cares for.

That, oddly enough, was the easy part. All the gifts have been obtained at least a month ago and have been sitting, hidden in the back of their closet. Now, however, Hob isn’t quite certain how to help with Morpheus’s particular problem.

“Those ones no good either?” He asks as Morpheus returns to his side after scouring through every roll of wrapping paper available at Tesco over in Bushwood. Morpheus pulls the collar of his coat up against the winter chill as he nuzzles into Hob’s side. Hob wraps his arms around his shoulders, tucking the black floof covered head under his chin.

“No,” he mumbles against his shoulder. “They were all wrong.”

Hob hums as he rocks his boyfriend in his arms. “Sorry, love.” He pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I think we’ve looked at every store around that’s got wrapping paper. No luck on the internet either, yet?”

“No…” Morpheus mumbles again. He sighs and lifts his head off of Hob’s shoulder. He’s slouched, his face down turned. It breaks Hob’s heart to see him so sad over something Hob feels helpless to fix.

Then he has a thought.

“Have you tried asking Daniel?” Morpheus looks up at him, brows furrowed.

“For what purpose?”

“Well, it seems like the wrapping paper of your dreams might only be found… in your dreams.” He gives Morpheus a smile. “At least until us humans catch up to your brilliance.”

His lover turns his gaze over Hob’s shoulder, staring out in a look that Hob’s learned means he’s thinking very deeply. He stays there, rubbing Morpheus’s shoulders, waiting out his thought process. After a few moments, he turns back to Hob and nods.

“That is not a bad idea… however, it is a trivial request. It would be foolish to ask such a thing of him.”

“Mmm, why not give it a shot anyways? You might be surprised.”

“I… suppose.”

Morpheus is sitting in their living room above the New Inn. It is raining outside. More specifically, it is raining upwards and the water is orange. There is a camel sitting in the chair across from him, speaking in German. He is dreaming.

“I call to you, Dream of the Endless, if you will hear me.” Morpheus calls out into his dreamscape.

“Morpheus,” Daniel’s voice rings in the small space. Within a blink, the camel is now Daniel, white flowing robes undulate around his form, the emerald dreamstone sits proudly upon his neck. He is smiling. Morpheus smiles in return.

“My lord,” Morpheus ducks his head in a bow. Daniel raises his hand, dismissing him.

“You are family, Morpheus. And you were once us. Do not worry for such formalities.” Daniel shifts, folding one leg over the other as he pulls forth two glasses of wine from the fabric of the Dreaming. He passes one to Morpheus. “To what do I owe the visit?”

Taking a sip of the wine, Morpheus hums. He remembers it’s taste from centuries ago. It is old, older than Hob, in fact. “I have a dilemma. Hob suggested I reach out to you to see if you would be able to assist. I am aware it is a trivial matter, but…” He takes another sip.

Daniel looks him over, watching his movements before finishing his sentence for him. “But it is important to you.”

“Yes.”

Daniel nods, gesturing for him to continue. Taking a breath, Morpheus speaks. “There lives, quite possibly only in my mind, paper I would wish to wrap the gifts I have found for those close to me. I have been unsuccessful in my search for something near it in the Waking world. I thought, perhaps, you may be able to help me obtain this. From within my dreams.”

Morpheus may be human, no longer Dream of the Endless, but the knowledge of how the Dreaming works remains. Within mere moments, the wrapping paper he has so clearly envisioned in his mind’s eye appears in front of him.

The paper is crisp, smooth, and blacker than the night sky. Stars twinkle lightly in the void with patches of color like nebulae in the distance. It sent a pang through his heart at the realization he was seeking paper that looked identical to the lining of his coat when he had been Endless. No wonder it was impossible to find in the Waking.

“This is the paper you seek?”

“Yes… I.” Morpheus clears his throat.

“Very well. When you wake, this shall follow you.”

Morpheus jerks his head up. “Truly?”

“I would not lie.”

He smiles. “Thank you. Daniel. Truly, I thank you.”

When Morpheus awakes in the morning, the impossible starry night sky wrapping paper rests on the nightstand beside him. He reaches over, pulling the paper close and rubs his thumb over the twinkling stars. He loves his human life here. He would not trade it for the world, and certainly wouldn’t wish to return to his old responsibilities. But, impossibilities like this, the familiarity of it all, that he does miss.

“Dove?” Hob mutters into his pillow to his left. “S’early.”

“Daniel was kind enough to grant my wish.” Morpheus says, not lifting his eyes from the wrapping paper. He hears Hob shuffle in the sheets and then sees a tan hand reach out and graze the top of the night sky.

“Well, if this is what you were trying to find, I’m not surprised you didn’t find it at Tesco.” He says with a laugh.

“No. No I suppose not.”

#dreamling #hob gadling #dream of the endless #the sandman #ky writes #december writing list #kydrogen's december drabbles 2023

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fortheloveofbuddie · 6 months

Text

Tease Tidbit Tuesday + WIP Wednesday ✨

Once again combining these two because I’ve been so freakishly busy lately

With that being said, please keep tagging me in stuff because I love reading y’all’s works 🩵

Tagged by @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess and @wikiangela 🩵 (tagging you back for wip Wednesday 🫶)

He hadn’t stopped thinking how his omega was starting to react more and more to Eddie’s alpha. And the fact that Eddie’s touches had become increasingly lingering.

And the placement had started to change as well. It had wandered from the middle of his back to his lower back, almost tracing his fingers along the hem of his tugged in shirt. It was like he was deliberately doing it to put traces of his scent on his clothes so that Russell would notice. And he was.

“Something wrong over there?”

Eddie asks, pushing the papers in front of him to the side and gets out of his chair, walking over the couch.

He drops down next to Buck, needlessly close to him, his warm thigh pressing against the side of Buck’s and he drapes his arm around the back of the couch, almost allowing Buck to lean into his embrace.

“No-.. I mean, yes but I don’t know how to explain it”

Buck admits and starts to pick at his nailbeds, a nervous tic that he had had his entire life. When this started, there was no getting him out of his head. But Eddie knew him well enough to attempt it anyway.

“Buck, come on. You can talk to me”

Eddie says but to no avail as Buck kept picking at his nailbeds, even bringing them up to his mouth and carefully biting them.

“ I need you to talk to me”

Eddie’s voice becomes firm as he grabs Buck’s wrist a bit more firmly than he intends to and pulls Buck’s hand away from his face. He slowly relaxes his grip and drops his own hand in the small space between him and Buck, his fingertips resting against the side of Buck’s thigh.

What Eddie does almost sends a shockwave through Buck’s body and his omega immediately complies, his hands now resting on his knees and instead of picking at his nailbeds, he’s now picking at the fabric of his pants.

Oh my fucking god, this is getting ridiculous.

“I just-… You’re touching me”

“Yes?”

Eddie sounds unsure, as if he doesn’t realize what he has been doing lately. But he is. And the truth is that he doesn’t care about it. He’s leaving his scent on Buck on purpose because he doesn’t know how to speak up about how he’s feeling.

How watching another man touch Buck in front of him is tearing him apart from the inside out and he couldn’t stand for it any longer.

“No, not just yes. You’re doing it differently. Why?”

Buck sounds almost accusatory about it and he presses his lips together then glances up at Eddie who has a dumb little grin on his face

“Don’t avoid the question, please”

“I don’t-… I don’t know. Just because, I guess”

For a lawyer, Eddie sure knows how to express himself. And how to make a compelling case.

“Just… forget about it”

Buck mumbles and gets up in a quick movement, feeling slightly dizzy. It makes him exhale deeply and he shrugs his shoulders as he looks down at Eddie.

He truly is beautiful. His deep brown eyes are like the hue of autumn leaves, bathed in the glow of a setting sun. In their depths, you can find a universe of tenderness and warmth, bringing you comfort like a soft blanket on a cold night.

Tagging!! @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @fionaswhvre @forthewolves @theotherbuckley @eddiediaztho @daffi-990 @jesuisici33 @whosoldherout @vampbuckley @loserdiaz 🩵🦋

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suzukara · 1 year

Note

hii can i request a scaramouche angst plssss im begging for one pls i want to cry, maybe make scara really mean, abandon us or something like that. until one day or years later he regreted his decision and decided to look for us and found us with other ppl (CHILDE PLSLS YK THE DRAMA) thank uuu<3333

Too late now —

pairings: scaramouche x gn! reader, childe x gn! reader

warnings: toxic and abusive scara, mentions of scars, angst to fluff, trauma, swearing

a/n: sorry this took awhile to get out anyways, I love this idea. have I ever mentioned how much I love writing angst? I hope you like this post and enjoy reading! (not proofread)

"how could you have been so careless and stupid? why did you even sign up for this job if you can't even do something as simple as arranging papers? can't believe I dated someone as incompetent and useless as you. get out." scaramouche yelled at you as you looked down in shame.

"w-what?" you stuttered out in disbelief.

"did you not hear me? I said get out of my sight you stupid bitch, I never want to see your face ever again! or do I have to make you get out?" he repeated, hands sparking with electro, reminding you of an incident that had happened awhile ago.

you knew better then to disobey his orders, having experienced the consequences of it before.

you quickly got up from your knees, sobbing as you ran out of his room. you loved him, you really did, but why does he treat you this way? a year ago, he was still treating you as if you were made of glass, what happened?

memories of his traumatic punishments flooded your mind as your knees gave out under you, making you latch onto a nearby wall for support. you looked at the scars on your arms and legs that serves as a reminder to you of what he has done.

the electro cracking in his hands sending shocks down your body, the horrifying look on his face still haunts you at night.

"hey, you alright?"

"childe?"

"why are you crying?"

you took one good look at him before bursting out in tears. you felt ashamed for crying in front of him, but you couldn't control yourself as flashbacks of the abuse you experienced flashed through your mind.

childe pats you on your back reassuringly, while telling you everything and anything that you needed to hear. he held you close to him, not caring about the tears that has soaked his expensive shirt.

he was everything you needed.

you never had the chance to admire his beauty, given that scaramouche was a jealous man. though now that he wasn't there to stop you anymore, you felt as if he was an angel sent from heaven. your angel.

and now that you thought about it deeply, scaramouche has never done any of these before. for someone who was all high and mighty, he sure was childish.

everytime, he would take his anger out on you then come back as if he's done nothing wrong. how foolish you were to accept his non-existent apology over and over again even after he made you go through hell and back.

though this time, you have someone here for you, to accompany you through all of these. and that person was childe.

you never noticed the way he has always been looking out for you, the way he always helps you even without you asking, the way he cared for you when you got injured on a mission.

now that you see it though, you made sure repay him back ten times.

it's been a year since then, and you've long moved on from him. you've found someone better, better then him.

childe

ajax has insisted to bringing you out for dinner to celebrate your one-year anniversary before bringing you to see his family.

while you were both on your way to the restaurant, you unfortunately bumped into a certain someone...

"[name]? why are you hanging out with this asshole?"

"what do you mean 'why are they hanging out with me'? weren't you the one who abandoned them?" ajax spat back at him.

"[name], why are you with him?" scaramouche demanded for you to answer him.

"I'm their boyfriend. so leave them alone already, won't you?" ajax pushed you behind him, standing in front of you protectively.

"this isn't your business childe, stay out of this. we don't want things to get messy."

"their business is my business, as their boyfriend, I wouldn't allow them to get hurt by you again." ajax glared at your ex.

"get hurt by me? I think you're mistaken. I've never hurt them intentionally before. now get out, and stay out." scaramouche glared back, hand crackling with electro behind his back.

"you know, I've never been one to refuse a good battle..." ajax summoned his catalyst, smirking, "and I think a fist fight would be suitable for the both of us right now."

you watched as you ex and current boyfriend both summoned their catalysts, getting ready to block and attack.

you didn't know what to do. you felt weak and useless, but when you saw scaramouche launch towards ajax with his hands aiming for a strike that might cause your boyfriend to never awake, you felt an instinct.

an instinct to protect, to defend, to help, but you weren't so stupid now were you? you weren't just going to run in front of scaramouche.

since the gods in celestia above has blessed you with a vision, you made sure to put it to good use...

if you strike a blow of anemo just at the right time, you can definately catch him off guard. after all, he's only ever thought of you as a weak little thing.

right before scaramouche's hands could touch ajax, you sent a heavy blow of anemo towards him, successfully pushing him back for awhile.

"[name]? how dare you?" scaramouche looked at you in betrayal.

"I'm not going to submit to you like a good little puppy anymore. not after what you've done, I won't come running back to you anymore." you stared blankly at him.

"your lying, you're nothing without me. so why won't you be good and come back to me?" he tried persuading you, this was how he got you to go back with him each and everytime.

"I'm not falling for that anymore, scaramouche. if you keep playing the same trick on a child, they won't fall for it after the third or fourth time. I've moved on, let me go please." you looked away, not wanting to see his reaction.

"let's go ajax, we have a dinner reservation..." you reminded, pulling him along with you, but when you were leaving you can't help but think.

'would I have forgiven him again if I hadn't met ajax? if he 'apologised' earlier? if I didn't leave?'

though that's too late to think about now, since it's too late now...

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phxntomhives · 17 days

Text

Nice parallels between Negai no Astro and Tokyo Aliens

I mean, I have 1 person that has caused me to write this, say hi to @chifuyusun but these things ARE nice and maybe someone will start the other manga in the parallels so pls look at my ramblings.

Yes it's just the first chapter for Negai no Astro but I feel some of these are fair assumptions.

There is technically 1 spoiler for Tokyo Aliens but I'm confident it comes out quickly in the main story so I don't think it's a major thing to spoil.

Also I haven't looked at the spoilers for Negai no Astro so I could be very wrong but I would like to not know it from spoilers thanks

Yes I am aware these things are not exclusive of these two series, but it's still nice to see them.

Founded family (and golden retriever MC)

Negai no Astro: they are litteraly a bunch of children that the old man liked and he adopted them all. Hibaru cares deeply for them, he doesn't seem to consider the family being such only on paper, but he wants to protect them and be good for them (such a precious boy)

Tokyo aliens: well, here it is definitely not as in NnA ops. But Akira is desperate to feel the warmth of a family getting closer to the other characters which do seem to look out for him and care for him. No I don't mean Amamiya, he is excluded. But the others are going "well, must adopt him now". And don't get me started on poor Sho which is in a DESPERATE need for a hug and finally with Akira he finding his own peace and opening up more.

Hands for protection

I just find it fun that both our MC don't have a magical weapon or something similar for their battles (for now at least). Hibaru got his magical/super powered hands and immediately used them to protect his brother and help him. When Akira had to chose his battle weapon, he decided to go for gloves (see Father I miss you section).

Idk but there is something so... soft? Precious? In specifically power-upping (?) their hand to protect people? Usually you see people do it for violence, punching and breaking, but them?? They are using them for the others. Hibaru is more focused on attack for now, while Akira on defence but there is something beautiful in seeing them with their hands up ready to protect people.

Spear and Shield - covering for each other

I am a sucker for one thing that is separated in two and those two make the complete again together. They complete each other, backing up the other's weakness. SO OF COURSE I AM EATING GOOD WITH NEGAI NO ASTRE. Spear and shield??? Probably fighting together in the future having to rely on someone else? Sign me up. I need this aspect to be central and not forgotten pls Wakui I always believed in you.

And for Tokyo Aliens you may ask? You are adding to that beautiful trope also the emotional compensation between Akira and Sho. They cover for each other (probably will happen more in the future, poor Akira is still struggling) and well balance each other weak points. Sho is the spear and Akira is the shield (that quite litteraly saved lives, and it was very pretty). I can write an essay but it would have too many spoilers so I will stop now.

Father I miss you (and Mother is MIA I guess)

As the rules established: you can't have both parents. And ofc, why should you be able to keep the father with you??? Ofc they have to die. I am not confident for Tokyo Aliens but that is just me.

I would like to congratulate to the spirit of the fathers because they raised precious boys that love people. But I found interesting how in both cases, the one that gave Hibaru and Akira the strenght to make the correct decision was the memory of their fathers. They both wish to live up to them and make them proud.

In both cases you also have their power coming from an object related to the father (the keychain for Hibaru and the gloves for Akira) They are bringing their fathers to fight with them in a sense. Getting their strenght and their courage. They are precious boys and I am sobbing.

Anyway, I'm sure they are proud my boys. They could not be more proud of you.

Aliens??

I mean, in Tokyo Aliens there are aliens. Shocking, I know. A very interesting and refreshing take if I can add, since most of them are pretty chill. Negai no Astro has nothing confirmed yet, that I know, but I mean the magic thing that gave power has come from space, so I think we are more or less on the same line. Maybe it's a different planet or something. Idk. It doesn't seem to come from humans, that seem to be a correct take.

There are probably more but I think I made my points. If you like one serie I highly suggest you to give a try to the other!

#i wrote this in a rush #no beta we die like men #negai no astro #astro royale #tokyo aliens

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margridarnauds · 11 months

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To clarify how nervewracking being online can be when you’re in this kind of job:

Like, we want to be enthusiastic about the texts we study! Great! I’d love to do nothing but write 100k words of fanfic about my favorite medieval Irish texts! ....but, especially with the less studied ones, that would tie it directly back to me because it isn’t like people wouldn’t be able to narrow it down.

And then you have the thoughts of “If my colleagues find this, will they think less of me? Will I become a laughingstock? Will they be able to see the divide between me as a genuine fan of this material VS me as a scholar?” Academia actually IS aware of fanfiction these days, yes, to the point where we’ve had a couple of papers look at some of the texts from the angle of transformative work, and a few of my colleagues + professors even know I do write it, but there are limits. If I write a fanfic featuring a particular character as queer and then write a paper about a queer interpretation of them, will I be judged as just wanting to force my interpretation of that character onto them because....I have a ship? I take some amount of personal pleasure in it? I enjoy the medieval texts that I have to read multiple times as stories alongside whatever cultural or literary value they have and can talk about them on both levels?

Every time I bring up that I’m writing a queer retelling, not a fanfic, a proper™ retelling™ of a medieval Irish text, people act like I’m writing gay porn. And there wouldn’t be anything wrong if I was! But that’s not what I’m writing. Now imagine that with the sometimes lurid connotations of fanfic. It’s fine for straight male scholars for decades to sexualize female characters or extensively analyze all the swords and spears that show up as phallic symbols, but god forbid you write content where there’s any hint of *enjoying* it if you aren’t a straight cis male.

Alright, let’s say I don’t write fic about the field, it’s gone, it’s out the window, I give up on it. If someone is super dedicated, they can still figure it out. What about any E Rated fic I write at all? Will they think less of me for that? Will they read it purely to find something to pick apart? What about 5 years down the line when I’m dealing with the job market? Will they take one look at my application and, even if they’re aren’t homophobic, decide that I just Don’t Fit The Image They Want to Convey? What about 10 years from down the line when I have students? What about 30-40 years down the line when I’m (hopefully) a senior scholar, or at least....okay, an older scholar? Will what I write be the subject of grad students snickering at conferences? “Professor X, when they were a grad student, wrote slash fiction!” I’ve seen grad students making fun of each other’s social media, this is something that is a legitimate risk. And this is me talking about the generic term “slash fanfic” -- this is not going into things like A/B/O fanfiction that, while they’re wildly popular, are often associated very much with a level of fandom cringe. This is not talking about sexual expression, which, tbh, should be protected anyway.

Plenty of people in my field adopt false names online for the sake of their privacy, as much as they can get, at least. Plenty of us hide or obscure our names. But the truth is that anything we do is a risk. And it shouldn’t be this way and of COURSE it’s biased against AFAB and queer academics (do you KNOW how many times I’ve been to a conference where the subject matter is just....Straight Male Writers™ writing poems or stories about medieval Irish texts that we then have to analyze because they’re Part of the Canon™ now? While I have to fear for my career for writing...oh wait, very comparatively mild queer content that generally acknowledges that women are people), it makes me furious every time I think of it because it is so *deeply* unfair to the point that I start to shake a little bit like a chihuahua whose rage has exceeded its body mass, but...I don’t believe any of us have delusions that these are the rules we’re playing by.

...you go into this sort of thing because you’re passionate about it and then you find that you have very few ways to express that passion.

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ynluvy · 1 year

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i love you 3000. | j.h

synopsis: after a long, stressful day, jeonghan never leaves your side.

genre : fluff

warnings : boyfriend!non-idol!jeonghan consoles and cuddles with you after , PDA, sappy stuffs, a couple tears ngl, yelling in the beginning, black!reader, reader has an office job and works in a cubicle. reader’s boss is a bonafide asshole. past trauma mentioned. lowercase intended, jeonghan likes babying reader.

bingo’s note : okay, hey. thanks to anyone that waited on me to write smth, (if you guys even did wait, i literally took forever sobs.) but anyway, ill try to make longer stories (that make sense), and be consistent with writing, i was thinking every wednesday, saturday, and sunday? ill post it most likely. love you weirdos.

word ct. : 1006

SLAM !

a fat wad of papers hit your desk as you were typing away on your computer, shaking your cubicle and causing you to jump. you look up and see your boss, fuming as his hand moves to the other pile of papers on your desk. “look at all of this work you haven’t done, y/n! what have you been doing all of this time, huh? all of these projects are past the deadline!” he shouts, picking up small folders and waving them around erratically. you flinch every time one gets too close to your face as tears well up in your eyes.

you stand, bowing respectfully and keeping your head down. “i’m sorry mr. tae, it won't ever happen again.” you keep it short, since your boss isn’t one for excuses. “well i hope not, whatever is going on in your personal life doesn’t matter once you come here, and i damn sure won't be giving another one of these warnings. get it together, y/n. i’m serious.” he says before slamming the folders on one stack of papers and walking back to his office. you lift your head and see eyes on you, some pitying and some snarky ones. you sit back down in your chair and breathe deeply, tears threatening to leave your eyes as you rub your shoulders trying to calm yourself down.

soon it's 7 pm, and you pack up to go home. after clocking out, you leave the building and get to your car, starting it and driving home. on the way, your boss’s words stuck to you. what was wrong? was it the fact you’ve had to work all week, morning to evening? or was it that jeonghan had to work when you were off, and you never got to see him unless he was getting into bed and falling asleep? maybe tonight you could stay up and talk to jeonghan for a bit before you both go to bed? after an internal debate, you've decided that you will.

you arrive at your shared flat with your boyfriend, jeonghan. the two of you have been dating for seven months, and it’s almost the eighth now that you think about it. jeonghan was your best friend before the two of you decided to be together, and because of that he knows you like the back of his hand. what you like, what you don’t, your hobbies, everything. Likewise for you as well. you know when hes angry with you or with something else, when he's bored, when he's sad. you know when he's excited and hungry when you buy his favorite food or snacks. and you both know that you love each other.

you ride the elevator up to your floor and walk to your door, putting the key in the lock and turning, causing the door to open. you walk in and you see jeonghan sitting in a chair, a bouquet of flowers and what looks to be your favorite pastry. tears well up in your eyes as you kick your shoes off and rush to hug him. he hugs you back and rubs your head, smiling warmly and rocking you from side to side. he lets you cry,stroking your back then switching back to your head.

jeonghan knows your boss isn't the best person to work for, and that you put up with him to pay your share of the bills. he knows that it stresses you out and frustrates you when he nitpicks at everything you do, and he also knows that it takes you back to a dark place when he’s feeling particularly bitchy. this isn't the first time he's consoled you after a stressful work day.

one night he woke up to you crying softly, trying not to wake him up. You held onto his arm as you sobbed, tears streaming down your beautiful face. he hugs you and you wipe your tears quickly, sniffing as you tried to assure him he was fine and that he needed rest. he grinned, glad that you still cared about him, and told you not to cry and to push through because one day you wont need to work a job. one day he was going to care for you, and protect you from any slick-mouthed bastards like your boss. from that moment forward he started working overtime at his job, taking extra shifts and skipping lunch breaks.

he pulls away to kiss your lips. he wipes your tears with his thumb as you kiss him back. You pull away. “can we just cuddle and watch disney movies ,please?” you ask and he chuckles at your cuteness. “sure thing, my love. let me put these flowers in a vase and i'll be in there with some snacks and we’ll watch every single disney movie there is out there, yeah?” you nod and go to the room to change and turn a movie on. He gets done in the kitchen and comes to your shared bedroom.

You both lay in bed, in each others embrace as the movie plays and soon enough you’re dozing off. after a fight to stay awake, you succumb to sleep. jeonghan looks over and sees your sleeping, chuckles and kisses your head, and wonders how he got so lucky.

#jeonghan x you #jeonghan x black reader #svt x reader #svt jeonghan #inniethepoo #bingostale #svt x black reader #svt fluff

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nomoreusername · 8 days

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The Plan (Part 2)

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary: Despite what he knows Aris is conflicted on how to truly let you go.

I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. I don't want to believe that Y/N could do that to me.

She had told me herself though. I was nothing more than a plan.

It was depressing really. Now that I look back on it, it's so obvious that she hadn't just grown feelings for me. The change in attitude from a few girls, the way we always ended up as alone as you could get, and how she seemed so interested in everything I said, should have been a huge red flag, but no. Instead, I just decided that she actually felt something for me. I thought that she actually was different and would get to know me and who I am, my morals and beliefs, the things I like and don't, before deciding whether or not I deserve to die. I thought that I had actually meant something to her. I thought she cared about me.

She says she does now, but I don't believe her. I can't. Even if I did, what next? We just move on from the fact that she was just as bad as basically everyone else?

Actually, no. She's worse. I had fallen so deeply in love, and she used that to her advantage.

She's not just cold.

She's heartless.

The fact that I know all of this and am still carrying her back to her tent is pathetic. I could easily wake her up so she wouldn't die of frostbite. Instead, I had her in my arms, curled up to my chest.

I have never hated snow so much before. Not until it meant her needing to be near me.

Of course, that's sort of an excuse. Like I said earlier. I could just wake her. I didn't have to carry her bridal style to her place.

I was though, and I have never felt like more of an idiot doing something good. At least when I was with her I didn't know she was a master manipulator. Now that I did, with me still caring, the pain’s probably on me now.

It actually all is. I blindly loved her and didn’t spot what she was thinking when she acted like she did.

It kills me even more that the very first time she said those three words was after I found out our entire relationship was built upon lies.

But whatever. I’ll just keep holding her until I can't. It's all fine. Everything is fine. I’m fine.

As I approached her already opened tent I felt tears pour down my face. Ignoring them, I ducked my head and entered the place I had spent so much time in.

Holding my breath, I tucked her into her sleeping bag, making sure she was on her side the way she always slept. With her tears shining like dying stars through the dark, she was almost blinding to look out. There were too many things to take in. Too many small details and unwanted, maybe real, emotions.

Looking at my feet to avoid those, I spotted a small paper. Picking it up, I saw my handwriting.

A letter.

A stupid love letter I had given her a few nights ago.

Picking it up, I crumpled it into a ball before throwing it on the ground. Glaring at it, I pretended it was her through my blurry vision. Wiping more tears with the back of my hand I actually gave her a cold look before saying one last thing.

“It's not like it meant anything to you anyway,”I spat. Stepping over it on the way out, I zipped her tent and stormed to mine, of course being just a little further away than everyone else's.

Because screw me, right? Because I definitely asked to be here? Because I definitely didn't spend my first month here sobbing my eyes out every chance I got because of how alone I was?

At least when they were all adjusting to their home and wondering how they got here, if they did something wrong, if they were being punished, if they were meant for something, or if they were dangerous, they had each other. They could just ask for help from someone. And what did I get? People talking about whether or not to send me to die, right in front of me.

I hate this place! I hate all of them! I hate her! I especially hate her!

Without bothering to close it, I fell on the floor of my tent and sobbed like it was the first night all over again.

#aris jones #aris x reader #tmr aris #aris tmr #the maze runner #one shot #tmr #angst with no comfort #break up #hurt/no comfort #fanfic series #part 2/4

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surprisingmarch · 27 days

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Welcome to Patience: It's raining men (Chapter 6)

Joseph Rainier x F!Human Reader x Harry Vanderspeigle Rating: 16+

Fandom: Resident Alien

Story Type: Fluff / Thriller / Romance / Drama

3,672 Words

-Y/N = Your name- -L/N = Last name-

Music I listened to as I wrote: - Nothing! :)

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You flip through a magazine as you wait for someone to check into the clinic or to call and schedule an appointment. This job was a lot easier than you expected, it only took you around an hour and a half to organize the mess of folders the previous secretary called a filing cabinet and another hour to clean up the front desk and make it your own with some pretty colourful paper clips you found in the second drawer. There were.. chip crumbs absolutely every where and some suspicious stains you don't even want to begin to try to identify. You flip to the page… you flip it again upon discovering the next page was chalk full of sex tips. Maybe another time, magazine, but certainly not at work. There's too many people around and you're one hundred percent sure you would flush redder than a fire hydrant if you read them in public… or period, for that matter. You examine every detail of the beautiful sweaters and dresses on each page, but none seem to be to your liking. You close the magazine and lay it on your desk for someone else to read. You look down the hallway towards the break room, waiting for something… anything.. to happen. Asta Twelvetrees rushes down the hallway and to the filing cabinet behind you, she smiles politely at you before switching out the file she has with another then she rushes back down the hallway and into the examination room.

You sigh deeply, not much happens in small towns, eh? So far you've only had two phone calls, and one was a wrong number looking for the pizza joint around the corner.. Good thing you have that police station secretary job too, maybe that one will be a bit more exciting. Either way, it's nice to be able to experience two different job atmospheres anyway, even if it was just to keep the boys in check. You look back down the hallway and see Harry rush out of the examination room and into his office and an old woman slowly creep down the hallway and out of the building. You look behind you at the giant brown wall clock that looks like it wants to be wooden but clearly isn't. "11:04.. He finished just in time." You think to yourself as you stand and stretch big and wide before walking over to Harry's office and knocking on the open door.

Harry gazes up at you, his expression changes from melancholy to a small smile, he places the pen he was writing with back down onto the counter and gestures to the light brown leather chairs in front of his desk. "Come in, come in! Do not be shy! And, close the door behind you, if you wouldn't mind." Harry says cheerfully. You quietly close the door and sit in the right chair in front of his desk. His expression brightens even more upon you sitting down. "My, you look lovely today! Now, what did you want, y/n? A check up?" Harry says then chuckles to himself. You look at Harry's black eye, it's almost healed as well. It looks like whatever alien species Harry is also heals extremely fast like the greys do. You sigh in relief. "At least it doesn't look like it hurts that bad.." You think to yourself. "Your eye is almost healed, that's good.. Did you get hurt any where else?" You ask softly, Harry pauses before answering. "Oh, yes it is. Do not worry, I was not very hurt in the fight. Barely a scratch." Harry shifts his position in his chair slightly, he leans to the right towards you and twiddles his thumbs energetically. "Good… good.. And just so you know.." You lean forward, his eyes widen at the close proximity. "Joseph admitted to me he was an alien, I know you are too, he just didn't go into specifics with you. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone… not to mention, I don't have anyone to tell." You whisper. You lean back into the comfy leather chair. Harry blinks a few times, his expression unchanging before responding. "He admitted it to you? Just like that?" Harry asks, rather bewildered. You nod. "Yep. Well, I have proven to be a pretty trust worthy person I suppose.. Not to mention I kind of called him out on the very quick unhuman like movements, the lack of social skills, the fact you two had a full on brawl in less than forty seconds… I called out many things, is my point. It was, INCREDIBLY obvious. Not to mention, the first day I came here as I was unloading all my shit I saw a UFO hover over his side of the apartment complex so… it wasn't too hard to put the pieces together." You admit. Harry smiles widely before chuckling loudly at you. "You are an incredible woman! No one has ever found me out except for in emergency circumstances where I was almost dying! You figured all this out in less than a week? Incredible! Marvelous! You are the perfect woman!" Harry says loudly as he chuckles some more. After he finally calms down, he leans forward toward you. "You know the nurse, Asta Twelevetrees?" Harry asks in a hushed tone. You nod hesitantly. "She got caught with me in a avalanche accident.. we got caught in a crevasse and I was bleeding out, I did not have enough energy to keep this molecular form so I slowly reverted back to my original.. We'll just say she took it as well as you'd imagine she would. I thought about erasing her memory, but I decided it was a wiser decision to keep her around in case I needed her. She had proven useful to me and my mission, so I'd say I made the correct call. Her roommate D'arcy also recently found out and.. she thought I was a dinosaur.." Harry admits. You burst out laughing. "I know, ridiculous, isn't it? A dinosaur, of all things." Harry says in dismay. "A dinosaur? Are you shitting me? What are you, a reptilian?" You ask breathlessly. Harry shakes his head. "No… I am a Indiscernible noises.. Actually.. you can just call me an alien." Harry replies softly.

"Do you look like a dinosaur?" You ask sheepishly. "No! I do not look like a dinosaur! I am purple, not green and scaly!" Harry replies frustratedly. He rubs in between his brows, you giggle at him. "Just making sure, D'arcy sounds like a hoot." You say. "She is no "hoot", she is a pestering degenerate and I hate her." Harry states with a huff. "I think you view most people that way, Harry." You tease. "I do not see you that way…" Harry admits. "I don't see you that way either." You confess quietly. A few moments of silence pass before Harry speaks once again. "I must say.. I do have very.. peculiar feelings for you. Some that I have never felt for any other, ones that symptoms only correlate with love.. or a stomach parasite. I fear I may be in love with you.. which is against my entire species genetic code, we are not supposed to feel anything. Stop making me feel things, it is uncomfortable." You chuckle at Harry's genuine frustration with emotions. Your face flushes and your palms get sweaty. "You act as if I'm purposely making you to feel these things." You reply, Harry reaches across the desk and touches your cheek softly. "But you are.." He says softly before he returns his hand back onto his side of the desk. You sit there, flabbergasted. How are you supposed to go about doing this.. You don't know how you feel, so how will you explain that to him without breaking his spirit? Your throat becomes dry and you start to have a mild little panic attack. Suddenly you feel an uncanny feeling that Joseph is very close by and is INSANELY jealous and quite frankly, furious. You recall his words from earlier and take a deep breath. The feeling of him being near by gives you enough courage to admit your feelings to Harry. "Look I… I don't know how I feel about you yet. It's just so soon.. Though I do appreciate you loving me, and I don't mind it.. I just.. don't know how I feel about you yet. It will probably take at least a few months to truly discern my emotions." You say coyly.

Harry nods approvingly. "I do not mind a wait, I am very old and have been alive since way before you were conceived, I can wait forever if I have to. I've already waited this long for love, I can wait longer. But know, I will not give up on you.. ever. I will always love you and I will fight for you if need be. After all, that is what my species does, we fight to the death over potential mates." Harry says way too calmly. You nod softly. Quite frankly, you don't think you want to even ask about what he just said. You start to calm down a lot, now that everything's out in the open you feel a lot more at ease with the whole situation. You sink into your chair.. suddenly you remember the whole reason why you came in here to begin with. It's amazing how just being in his presence makes you forget every worry you've ever had and makes time stand still. "Oh yeah! I came in here to tell you to…" You reach into your wallet and throw his money back at him. "STOP THROWING YOUR MONEY AROUND IN PUBLIC! ARE YOU INSANE!? You're going to get shot or stabbed or mugged or something! People will kill over that amount of money, in fact, people will kill over any amount of money! So stop throwing it at me, capeesh?" You finish. Harry nods. "You do not want me to get injured?" Harry asks calmly, a small smug smile stretches across his lips. You shake your head. "Of course not.. I DO care about you.." You respond softly. Harry smiles widely before he stands up and walks over to your chair. "Come, it is lunch time, go eat. I do not want you to be hungry. I would be a bad potential mate if I did." Harry says as he lightly taps your shoulder, signaling you to get up. You stand and stretch slightly, trying to make the drowsy feeling in your limbs disappear, to no avail. You start to walk out of the room, Harry keeps his hand soothingly on your back the whole way to the door. Without you realizing, Harry slips the money into your back pocket. If he cannot throw the money at you, he will simply sneak it into your various compartments. Harry opens the door for you and once you're out of his office you feel his hand fall off of you. You turn back to look at him, missing his soothing touch. He smiles down at you with that familiar soft look in his eyes.. the same look Joseph gives you every time he sees you.. before he quietly shuts the door. You slump over in disappointment before slowly meandering into the break room across the hall.

You look around the break room for snacks as you wait for your future hubby to appear with the food as he promised. You waddle over to the coffee maker and consider drinking a cup of joe but decide not to as that'll probably make the growing drowsiness worse later on. You lean on the counter for a minute before you notice some chips propped up against the fridge, you walk over and open clamped the bag and start noming. You don't even take notice of the brand name. You eventually end up stopping and checking, lays cheddar? Nice! You hear a dramatic knock on the door behind you, you look over with a mouth chalk full of chips. Joseph covers his mouth slightly as he snickers at you. "Hungry, love?" He asks calmly as he walks over to the round table and places down a bag full of food. You quickly put the chips back and rush over to a seat at the table. You peer at the bag like a cat as he takes each container out. "Did you make it yourself?" You ask excitedly. Joseph hums with a nod. You giggle happily, you notice he seems a bit off which you assume is from him eavesdropping in on you and Harry's conversation. "I love your food, give me." You say as you paw on a container. "Nu uh uh! Wait your turn.. Bad kitty…" Joseph points a finger at you and stops unloading, obviously waiting for you to behave before he'll start again. You slowly place your hands neatly on top of one another and frown at him. "Thank you.~" Joseph says chipperly before he starts to unload the rest of the containers. After that he places the bag neatly into the floor and starts to open each container, revealing various meal options. Your eyes widen, you weren't expecting a feast. "Oh y/n I-" You quickly look over at the room's entrance, Harry's standing there glaring at Joseph. You look over at Joseph who is seemingly glaring back at Harry, you can't exactly tell because you can't see his face, but you can feel the tension so you assume he is. "Joseph." Harry states in a harsh tone. "Harry." Joseph says his name like a threat. A moment of silence fills the room before Harry slowly turns and leaves, making sure to eye Joseph down the whole way out. Joseph stares out of the room's doorway for a while before turning back around to face you.

You hear a soft deep rumble come from Joseph's throat, you assume it's a growl considering the giant scowl on his face. You reach over and pet his hair, he leans into your touch immediately, he shuts his eyes as he enjoys your attention. You pull away after a few moments, he opens his eyes and looks at you, you can tell he's deeply troubled. "Hey…" You begin as you get out of your seat and walk over to him, you gesture for him to scoot out some and he does just that. You look down at his face one more time, he's frowning deeply and he seems to be pouting slightly. You sit in his lap facing towards him and start to kiss all over his face and neck. Eventually Joseph starts to laugh and kiss you back and the rumbling almost ceases. After a while you pull away and look deep into his eyes, he seems much calmer but you can still sense that fiery rage deep within him. "You were near by and could hear everything, couldn't you, baby?" You ask softly. Joseph nods very slowly, that rage clearly rising within him once more. "I'm proud of you for not starting another fight.." You plant a soft kiss on his jawline then pull away again. "It's okay, everything is out in the open now, so there's no need for all that anger. It's for the better, he knows I don't know how I feel about him and he's okay with it. What's there to be angry about?" You say softly. "He should have stayed the fuck away. He knows you're mine." Joseph quickly spits back. The growl starts rolling within him once more, getting louder and louder by the second. "Honey, someone is going to hear that.." You warn quietly. "They won't, I stopped time. I have the ability to pause time for humans and the animals on earth for short periods of time." Joseph responds blatantly. You both stare at each other for a solid 10 seconds before you finally respond. "And you failed to tell me yesterday? Why on earth would you keep that from me?" You ask, mildly annoyed and offended that he didn't trust you enough to have that information. "I forgot I could.. I just had sex, I was loopy.." Joseph confesses shyly. You sigh and lean your head on top of his. "I guess that's fair.." You mumble. "But is there anything else I need to know about?" You ask, your tone seemed to make him perk up. He panics slightly. "I have a small hand held device that will portal me to most any where, as long as it's in range and has been added into the database. Otherwise, that's all I can think of. I promise I trust you." Joseph says quickly. He grabs your hands and holds them in his as he looks deep into your eyes, making sure you aren't mad at him. The growling calms slightly and his brows furrow in fear. You nod and sigh. "Okay… I'm sorry I got frustrated and scared you honey.. I didn't mean to.." You rub his hands with yours, he sighs deeply and leans back into his chair. "It's okay, I understand." He responds quietly. "Hey.." You start as you massage Joseph's scalp, he closes his eyes for a while then opens them. "I love you Joseph… I love you. I don't know if I love Harry.. I just know he makes me feel safe. For all I know that could be platonic. I haven't felt sexually attracted to him like I have you, okay? I love you, Joseph Rainier. I love you. And I'll stay with you no matter what." You reassure him. Joseph gets teary eyed, he nods and leans his face into your shoulder. The rumbling comes to a halt, finally.

"Thank you for being there for me, Joseph.. I probably wouldn't have been able to confess how I feel too him if you weren't.. It was so nerve wracking.. I didn't want to hurt him.." You say softly. ""Confess"…?" Joseph repeats hatefully. "Oh- I mean explain my feelings." You correct. Joseph sighs deeply and calms himself down. "Thank you for the food too.. It all looks so good." You mumble softly. "You're welcome." He says proudly, he's starting to sound like his old goofy self again. Suddenly, you fly into the air, you're flipped to face the table then sat back down onto Joseph's lap. You giggle, Joseph presses a kiss into the crook of your neck before he uses telekinesis to pick up a spoon and bring a piece of tasty looking steak to your mouth. You chop down and quickly chew. "Slow, darling… slow.. You don't have to scarf down your food, you're going to choke." Joseph warns. You chew slower and furrow your brows at him. You huff poutily and turn away from him, Joseph chuckles at you. You pick up a spoon and shovel a hunk of mashed potatoes into his mouth. Joseph points to his face as he chews. "See, slow." He says in your mind. You huff again and turn to bite down on your next spoonful of food from the little spoon that could. "You know.." You begin as you chew "slowly". "You seem to really like it when I'm in your lap.." You say quietly, you look up at Joseph and bat your eyelashes at him. He glares down at you with that sex glare of his. "Dirty dirty.. tisk tisk.." You tease before eating the spoonful of perfectly seasoned peas he brought to your mouth.

After being feisty and flirting the whole time you two were eating, Joseph he finally gives into his temptation. Joseph swiftly and gracefully picks you up from his lap and starts to walk. "Oh!- Joseph?-" He plops you against the break room's counter, he grabs your chin and french kisses you passionately. Your tongues twirl around each other's in a frenzy. He claws at your shirt and about rips the damn thing, but luckily manages to control himself enough to where he doesn't. You both moan loudly in between breathes, you gasp for air as he starts to grab at your breasts. Suddenly, he parts away from the kiss. You pant breathlessly, hopelessly looking up at your boyfriend in a hot daze. Joseph smirks down at you before he walks over to the round table and starts to pack up all the food into his white tout. "B-but Joseph-" You begin, Joseph looks over at you and smiles widely. "You're mine." He states blatantly before he throws the bag's handles over his shoulder and starts to walk out. The glare he just sent you was full of something primal… it just turns you on even more. "But-" You start once more, Joseph stops at the doorway and looks back at you with that delicious smile of his. "But I can see how badly you want me.." You say and point to his crotch. "And I can see how badly you want me." He says as he points back at you, you have a sudden moment of clarity and quickly fix your hair and your clothes. "I'll see you later, sweetheart.." Joseph says softly before he walks away. "Damn.." You mumble with a smile. He knows how to leave you wanting more, that's for sure.. You start to hear chattering in the halls, you quickly hop off the counter and adjust your clothes some more. As Asta and D'arcy enter the room you slip past them and return to the desk. You can still feel Joseph some where nearby, observing you some how. You're starting to wonder if his "errands" was just code for stalking you. Honestly, you wouldn't mind if it was… but you trust that he does genuinely have some alien stuff to do. You look up at the clock, 11:45? You start to pack up and head to the police station. Wouldn't want to be late for your first day, now would you? Who knows, maybe Joseph is already there waiting for you.

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Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

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