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dalliancekay · 3 months

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The 'Aziraphale Still Believes in Heaven' Take

Is one that I see so often. Too often. The way many fans (still) say Aziraphale is so naïve, he's never learned anything, he never changes, Metatron just offered him a promotion and he happily jumped on it. Happy to go back to Heaven. Still in their clutches. Leaving Crowley behind. Cos nothing lasts forever. Amirite? Poor long-suffering Crowley. So patient. Goes through so much. Aww. Takes that say that because Crowley never told Aziraphale about the venom in Gabriel's "Shut your stupid mouth and die already", Aziraphale has no idea that Heaven is not the good guys, that he still believes they are on the side of truth and light.

Takes that claim Aziraphale wants Crowley to come to Heaven and be an angel again so they can be happy like in the good old times. Takes that basically say that Aziraphale is stupid. And blind. LISTEN Do you mean this Aziraphale:

Who knew before Crowley did that something is rotten in the state of Denmark, that things are wrong and one can get in a lot of trouble for a thing as minor as a suggestion to improve things. Is this the Aziraphale that would seriously suggest to Crowley, who he was immediately deeply anxious over, to go back to 'good old times'? What good old times? How is Heaven a place of light when:

A bunch of angels comes down to Earth to bully and PUNCH ONE OF THEIR OWN?

Why would he think they are the light when they shame him for being who he is?

Yes, I HC is that ultimately, Aziraphale still believes in God, in Her inherent goodness, even if Her tasks were often odd... and not lining up with what he thought was right. He thinks (remember my own HC) something somewhere went wrong with the what She wanted and the how it was understood and executed. And yes, Aziraphale wants to do good. But that's not tied to him being an angel. And it's not a bad thing ffs! Crowley does good as well. Aziraphale might be the only one who knows, but he knows. Maybe getting humans out of the Garden to seek knowledge was always a (certainty) possibility, and maybe not, but it was Aziraphale's decision to arm them.

And She didn't make him Fall for it. And do you remember when:

Aziraphale first openly questioned that Heaven was actually doing what God actually wanted? He had a think after the Flood, didn't he. He did what he thought was right. He trusted Crowley over his fellow angels, with his own sense of rightness. He and Crowley saved the kids that Aziraphale triple checked the Archangels saw no problem in letting die to make things easier. And She didn't make him Fall for it. In Edinburgh:

Az re-evaluated the thinking he was taught and did a full 180 degree turn, trying in few hours to save the grave-robbing girl AND the possible future lives of children that could be helped via more learning. And when we come to Metatron and his threats, we don't see the full conversation, but don't we see enough? Aziraphale says that he's not interested. Metatron keeps nagging at him. Pushing the symbolic coffee from Coffee or Death at him. Flattering him with obvious untruths. After all, Aziraphale knows what Heaven thinks of him. He tried to reason with Metatron before. Metatron tells him they know how deep his disobedience lies:

Aziraphale is not a fool. He knows this is an offer of come quietly or we will find a way to destroy you and your demon this time. Aziraphale didn't have to hear Metatron's quip of: "For one prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness makes a good story. For it to happen twice, makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem." He knows the system is rotten. He knows for a LONG time. Did you see his face when he met Muriel and realised what a lonely sad existence they lead.

AND Crowley doesn't love Aziraphale despite the fact that he's being used to get out of trouble, being made to listen about random things the angel enjoys from symphonies to food and plays, and who continues to believe in goodness and kindness. CROWLEY LOVES AZIRAPAHLE BECAUSE OF THOSE THINGS AND because he sees Aziraphale for what he is, an angel who thinks for himself, changes his mind, learns, angel who is brave, who stands for the right thing, who sacrifices his own happiness for the safety of others, especially the demon he loves. They are the same. They are lonely. They are one of a kind. And they love each other.

Aziraphale wants to stay at home. In the home he built for himself and Crowley. On Earth where he's found so much to love. But he knows it is impossible. As Crowley confesses his love, Aziraphale struggles to stay on his plan to push him away, to make him stay. He'll miss Crowley terribly. He wants them to be together. For him, they were an 'us' the whole S2. However tenuously. Fragile existence and all that.

But even this was ripped away from him. And whatever he's planning, he knows he needs to do the first steps on his own. He can't submit Crowley to the torture that being in Heaven is going to be for him, an unwanted, despised angel. And that would be even worse for an unwanted demon. He had to push him away.

So he leaves. Furious. And determined. Whether it is to burn the place down or find God and ask Her all the questions to Her face I don't know. But his love will push him through.

And if I see one more simplistic take of the snarky demon is really good isn't he, so that means the stuffy angel is bad (and needs to change to be worthy of the demon) I will curse their dreams with lines about shades of grey. AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY ALREADY LOVE EACH OTHER

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #neil gaiman #good omens 2 #ineffable divorce #good omens thoughts #aziraphale my beloved #aziraphale is such a bastard #aziraphale defense squad #good omens meta #hc #the final fifteen #season 2 #kaypost

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one-piece-aus · 1 year

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What would marriage life would be like with the seven warlords?

This is an old anon request, I do apologize for not getting to it sooner but here we go

What Marriage Life Would Be Like With the Seven Warlords (Headcanons)

It's pretty chill being married to Mihawk

Y'all just vibe in a mansion on an isolated island

I imagine Mihawk is a person of quality time and acts of service so the two of you would often spend time together

Whether it's reading in your library or cooking dinner for each other, every moment you do together and action you do for him is cherished in Mihawk's heart, even if he doesn't mention it

He makes sure you're healthy and well (eating properly, making sure you get your sleep)

This man will be able to instantly tell if your state is the slightest bit off and will not hesitate to voice his concern

He is not opposed to having children, the idea might amuse him

In fact, after Zoro and Perona had made their appearance, Mihawk grew fond of the idea taking care of his own child, even if they would be irritating at times

Btw, Zoro and Perona think you two act like an old married couple ❤

Only way this would be possible is if you are someone like Luffy

She might not understand exactly what marriage life means but she will do her best to make you happy

She is going to cook for you and feed you

She will bathe you and make sure you have the best clothes to wear

And she will order the best doctors to bring you back to your best health if you get sick

She is taking ✨amazing✨ care of you

The two of you are just living the life of luxury regardless of where you choose to live because you two are together and happy

You will not have kids (for a number of reasons that I will not get into because this is supposed to be a fun post)

Alright, I had no idea what to do for Moria so I asked @ask-the-night-crowl for these headcanons, thank you again Snugs

In a marriage, Moria would totally rely on his partner to fulfill all the duties he has/ should be responsible for. Granted, the other mysterious four already take over most of those, but someone has to keep them all in check.

His spouse better not be aversed by his crew, because for as much as he says he doesn't care about these idiots, he would also face death to protect them.

Unless him and his s/o have known eachother for a pretty long time, he'll try to keep them at an arm's length. Not necessarily because they don't have good enough of a connection, but the idea of loss is always on his mind.

He doesn't mind affection. In fact, he'll back-handedly seek it out by annoying his s/o until they give him attention if he so desires. He's pretty much like an oversized cat.

On the other hand, you'll also have to be prepared not to see him for days on end, because of his sleeping habits (Again, like a cat).

But in that time, cuddling with him is totally fine, because once that man is out, he sleeps like a rock.

His frequent nightmares might lead to the conclusion that comforting him would be the answer. But he hates the idea of being treated as weak as that and would much rather appreaciate the mere presence of his s/o when he wakes up next to them.

In contrast, he'll offer the same to his s/o when they feel down and would have an immediate (even petty) grudge against anyone harming them.

Staying in with him at a fireplace, drinking fancy wines and making fun of the other warlords would be his favorite way to spend time when he's awake for once.

If the spouse is good at cooking, you can bet they'll become his personal chef - after all, love goes through the stomach amirite.

If you're marrying Doffy, his family comes as a package deal, you can't have him without it, that being said, he expects you to get along with them (you can tolerate them instead but just don't let him notice)

Of course, he will expect you to take care of Baby 5, Buffalo, and Dellinger as if they were your children, he is open to making blood offsprings, but never put them before him

Doffy is your number 1 priority, whatever he says goes

But just because he's demanding doesn't mean he won't show you affection, in fact, most of his demands is just him wanting to give or receive affection

You are showed in gifts and luxury, he is the king of Dressrosa afterall, your word has every weight as his own since your are his queen

He is proud to show off his spouse, you are his most prized possession after all

However, you are more than just a trophy, after the loss of his dear mother and brother, he holds you close and tells you how dear you are to him every night

You are often woken up in the middle of the night due to his rustling from nightmares, just hold him to calm him down

Crocodile keeps you in the dark about his work, for all you know, he is a casino owner in Alabasta that keeps the people safe from pirates since he's a warlord

He takes you out for a stroll around in the evening, outside to admire the stars, or in the casino where your every need is met

He doesn't show affection in public but his gestures do show you belong to him and no one else

He keeps you company in bed at night until you fall asleep but when you wake up, he is not there, he's working as always

When see him next, he'll have a gift for you, an apology for not being able to always be around as he is a very busy man, but he'll make it up to you

I imagine it would be comfortable, like little cottage in nature kind of comfy

You both would wake up in the morning with a nice cup of tea

Your place would be clean and organized

You'd receive lots of comforting hugs and cuddles

Life would be peaceful

Until strawhat crew comes knocking on your door

Don't quite have any ideas for Kuma so... This is end, I hope you enjoy anon, and thank you for requesting

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seuonji · 10 months

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Hi, can do a svt! x idol!reader where the fans ship them, like giving each other glances, smiling when one of them appears on screen/winning an award, dancing/getting excited when there songs comes on, lovestagram, coindeces on social media and their chemistry during variety shows.

if this is inaccurate from what you wanted please let me know i am willing to write another one! (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))

from aya: thank you so much for requesting!! i have written most of these scenarios in these posts (links underneath this paragraph) so this post will mainly be on how fans ship you guys ^^

one ๑ two ๑ three ๑ four ๑ five ๑ six ๑ seven #mlist

fans shipping idols is a wild topic but let’s pretend the fans aren’t toxic with the amount of interactions you and your svt boy has!!

what fans that ship you would post:

imagine playing the telepathy game, your group against svt (game where there’s a word and all members have to do the same action) everyone from your group and svt do the same move except for you and vernon/mingyu. there’s multiple rounds and you keep doing the same thing. “are you two close by any chance?” the host joked. fans would make so many edits of that scene—

there would be so many edits or compilations of you and minghao/seungkwan in variety shows because you two bicker so much when you both are in the same room. would be the comedy type of video.

i imagine there would be ‘seungcheol/jihoon/wonwoo/mingyu falling in love with yn for 7 minutes’ compilations from when you guys were in a variety show together. he doesn’t put up a wall with you even though there’s cameras (to an extent). viewers can generally tell you guys must know each other well.

semi serious edits with jeonghan/jun which showcases you two are into each other. especially with the way you look at one another whether in variety or award shows.

you’d have a lovestagram with seokmin/mingyu!! fans caught on with that one pretty quick..

joshua/jihoon would copy your tweets sometimes. like if you use a sun emoji, he will as well. might copy the way you structure your sentences.

imagine you and your svt bf coming across these posts—

you and seungkwan/chan enjoy reading posts about ‘why yn and seungkwan are dating’ on twitter. you enjoy it a bit too much— at some point you two made an alt account so that you could like some of them and secretly interact. you clowning your fans fr.

when jeonghan sees an edit of you and him at any point, he would run to your room in the hybe building and show it to you. (like he couldn’t just send it to you…but he likes seeing your reaction.)

when you and mingyu are bored you both would watch compilations or you two. a way to pass time amirite.

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vixendoesstuff · 4 months

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God, it's been a while since I've done digital art. If only I have a tablet, I might have an easier time drawing there instead of a tiny phone, but no use crying over spilt milk. Here's the reference sheet for Techno Branch!

Man do I love a quality drop.

I don't know how to make my drawings aesthetically pleasing like I've seen other artist do, so this is all you get lol. But anyway here's the boi!! (Ignore my handwriting, it's usually better than it is here, I just have difficty writing on a phone).

I was actually gonna make his Grey version and True Colours version, but I was an idiot and hadn't copied his lineart before I combined it with the colours. So, I might have to redo his entire lineart from scratch. Art is so fun :)

More info below the cut!

So Branch here is more dull and glow less brightly (or not at all) compared to his brethren. Probably a side effect of going Grey for so long. I doubt the Techno Trolls of today would know how to help him fully because, while they probably have a better way of helping traumatized Trolls than the Pop Trolls, they wouldn't exactly know how to bring Branch's True Colours back, as he doesn't know Techno culture and they don't know him well, and that grey Techno Trolls were a rarity in it of itself.

Back when he was Grey, at some point in time the heart on his chest was split in two due to relentless trauma. Ater regaining his True Colours did it combine again, but after being Grey for so long I doubt it'll ever be truly whole again (trauma, amirite?).

Combined with that he probably doesn't like looking at his arm lights, as it reminds him that he's different than the rest of the Pop Trolls, adding more hurt to his already painful life (yikes). So he covers it with arm warmers, and by the time he regained his happiness it became a habit to wear them.

I like to think that Branch likes being on the ground more than swimming, so he's constantly walking and climbing around. Hence, the crease marks on his fins. 'Cause I like to think that Techno Trolls are not built for long periods of standing up straight. And Branch has done the exact opposite of that. Building a bunker by himself is hard, imaging doing that with a pair of swimming flippers. My feet would cry in pain lol.

Anyway, that's all I have for now, if you have questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer. With this out of the way, I can finally finish up my notes on what happens in World Tour. Hope you don't mind long paragraphs 'cause WHOO BOY lol.

#branch trolls #trolls #trolls world tour #techno trolls #techno!branch au

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h0bg0blin-meat · 1 month

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What hindu gods/deities are lgbt (I'm sorry if this is rude or ignorant I just wish to learn as I've heard some are)

Dw it's neither rude nor ignorant. Now before I start I do wanna say that almost all the queerness we see in Hindu mythology is highly subtextual most of the time, which is like pretty obvious cuz these were the ancient times. So this might lead to a varied number of interpretations, and I can only offer the same. But most of them are pretty convincingly queer, so let's get into it cuz why tf not. (This is gonna be a loooooong post so buckle up)

Vishnu

This fella is probably the most pan-coded deity in the entire pantheon. Extremely comfortable with both his masculine and feminine side, Vishnu can sometimes be considered one of the peak genderfluid icons out there. His avatar, Krishna, despite being referred to as the Parampurush (in other words the manliest man in the entire universe), his physical appearance (which is what is considered to be a very feminine body for a man today, i.e., slender and soft) breaks the stereotype of what masculine man should look like. There are paintings of him and Radha where I've stared for like a hot minute trying to figure out which one is Radha (mostly in grayscale cuz otherwise their complexions are a dead giveaway) and yet, he slays it like a badass.

Then we also have Mohini, the goddess of beauty probably the best seductress out there, and the only female avatar of Vishnu. Through her having a union (yk what they mean by that) with Shiva (AHEM subtext amirit), Vishnu gave birth to Ayyappa, and wouldja look at dat he has two dads, which was actually prophesized. Mohini in one of the versions of Mahabharata (not the original one) ALSO slept with Iravan (Arjun's son) the night before he was gonna offer himself as a sacrifice for the Kurukshetra war. Reason was that Iravan had a wish to get married and spend the night with his wife before dying, and wishing his wife would mourn for him after his death. So Krishna felt bad for him, turned himself into Mohini and married him. The next day she held her husband's body and mourned for him like any wife would. We can also go back to the time where he sported (make of that word what you will) with Arjuni (female version of Arjun) as well as the female version of Narad (for a year in the latter's case).

In short, we can see how chill Krishna is with his fluidity with sexuality and gender, so much so that it's hard to put a label on him sometimes, which is fine. But yes interpreting him as queer wouldn't necessarily be a preposterous claim after all.

Shiva

Tbh Shiva is also pretty queer-coded, given his union with Mohini (and yes he specifically ASKED Vishnu to turn into her and hence he KNEW it was his best friend after all), and him turning into a woman to join Krishna's leela that one time, which also denotes that he's pretty confident in his gender fluidity as well, to some extent. He also has a sort of female avatar, who's actually very underrated. I think it's called Shivani. Also no one can deny the tension between Shiva and Vishnu let's be real here. They even have a ship name- Harihar, PLUS that "Vishnu is in the heart of Shiva and Shiva is in the heart of Vishnu" line. Btw this was a joke, but now you know why they're one of the popular ships of Hindu mythology. I personally have very neutral stance to the kind of bond they share, whether you call it platonic or something else.

(Note that I personally do not consider Ardhanarishwar and Vaikunthakamalaja as any genderfluid thingy because I just see them as literal fusions of the two couples, but yes many consider these two fused versions of Parvati-Shiva and Lakshmi-Narayan respectively to be gender-nonconforming, or non-binary of some sort.)

Lakshmi

Why did I add her here? Because I have a feeling she might be bi, given the fact that her husband is also technically her wife, considering we take Mohini into account, who I'm pretty sure she loves just as much as she loves Vishnu. But again, that's just my take on it.

Agni

Now he's one of the more popular queer-coded Hindu gods, specifically known for his implied poly-esque relationship with his wife Svaha and Soma (the wind god). Now many sites on Google have claimed Soma to be his husband, but I am yet to find a scriptural evidence for that claim, so I suggest you to take their words with a grain of salt. But what IS true is that these two guys do share a pretty profound bond. There was also this one instance where Soma went to a mountain and Agni followed him. Then both of them at the top of that mountain, 'became one' (what does that mean? not sure but it sure as hell sounded romantic. anyways).

Plus, Agni is also very well-known to be the (oral) receptor of Shiva's (and sometimes Soma's but not sure about the second one) semen, which he then flung into Ganga cuz it was too hot to bear for him, and that's how Kartikeya/Murugan/Skanda (Shiva and Parvati's son and a God of war) was born. So yeah.

Mitra-Varuna

These two.... are another pair of popular queer-coded Hindu deities. They're almost always summoned and worshipped together, and you can say they have canonically.... well had a union, and good news is none of them became a woman for the deed. Their union is recorded in the Shatapatha Brahmana 2.4.4.19, where Mitra is said to have "implanted his seed in Varuna" (hmmm nothing homosexual going on here) during the waning moon. Many people consider this a metaphor for the cyclic nature of celestial phenomena so it's upto you to interpret it however you want.

Now they also give off that sunshine x grumpy vibe, with Mitra being the god of friendship, sun, daylight, dawn and stuff while Varuna is the god of the waters, moon, nighttime, dusk etc. Plus, the latter has anger issues but he has a bubbly Mitra (pun intended) to calm him down for dat :D.

They are also known for siring two sages, Agastya and Vasistha after they accidentally released and mixed their semen into a pot as a result of getting enchanted by Urvashi (one of the apsaras or celestial nymphs).

Budh and Ila

Budh is technically an AMAB non-binary (or intersex) deity (and technically the planet Mercury) born to Chandra (who's also synonymous to Soma most of the time) and Tara, to put it simply, and got cursed to be neither male nor female because Chandra had an affair with someone else's wife -_- (Tara was the wife of Brihaspati, or Jupiter, who was also the guru of the gods).

Ila is another genderfluid deity. Some versions of the myth says they were born a woman, some say they were born a man called Sudyumna, while some say they were born a woman, but since their parents wanted a son, Mitra-Varuna (who they preyed to) changed their gender and Sudyumna was born (but then there was some issue with the rituals, which led to the duo to turn him back to a woman, which is when they took the name of Ila. Ik, too much gendershifting going on, bear with me). Anyhoo they got this genderfluidity from Shiva's spell and every month they'd change sex from Sudyumna to Ila and back to Sudyumna and so on. Budh got enchanted by Ila and married her, and bore the Pururavas with her.

Later on, some versions say Ila permanently turned into a man with Parvati's boon. But personally interpreting, Budh was technically still married to Sudyumna so..... idk what happened to them afterwards tho. I hope they were still spouses...

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moonswolfie · 11 months

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The HQ!! boys with an S/O who has a sweet tooth

Part 1 (you're here) / Part 2

reader is gender neutral but is described as cute a lot

Decided to write something short and sweet haha

This is, you guessed it, a bit self indulgent, although not as much as usual

Characters featured: Kageyama, Tsukishima, Kuroo, Lev, Atsumu, Ushijima, Tendou, Iwaizumi, Sakusa, Nishinoya

Kageyama Tobio

he's the type of person to not get the appeal of sweet things and rarely eats them

so he is a little confused on why you like them so much

but he sees the way you smile when you eat them and that makes him feel oddly happy himself

when you're eating sweets, he'll just stare at you with a slight blush and say nothing (the poor awkward boy is smitten for u and can't admit it🤭)

if you two ever argue, he will quietly offer you your favourite cake or other pastry as a peace offering the next day

Tsukishima Kei

you know damn well this tsundere would hide the fact he likes sweets too

if you offered him some, he would initially decline but then "give up and accept it" (even tho he lowkey wanted to try it from the very beginning 😏)

when you found out that his favourite food is strawberry shortcake he was embarrased of it but you just laughed at him in a lighthearted manner for being so worried about you finding out

In fact, you were happy that he shares your passion for sweets🍰❤

after that, the two of you would visit cafés together and eat your favourite pastries

Kuroo Tetsuro

he will occasionally tease you about all your teeth rotting away if you keep eating all those sweets

and yet he will always casually bring you something sweet from the vending machine and then watch you eat it with a smile on his face

but he does make you exercise with him sometimes (and drags kenma along too so you both can suffer together)

will invite you to your favourite place after finals to celebrate and eat cakes together

he just can't help but spoil you with sweets 🤭💗

Haiba Lev

he thinks you look really cute when enjoying sweets, so much so that he'll give you something sweet and then stare at you expectantly until you eat it (and he has the cutest smile on his face when you do)

sometimes he'll steal a bit of your candy saying he just couldn't resist

since he sucks at baking himself, he sometimes asks Alisa to help him bake cookies for you

those cookies are baked with the sweetest puppy love ever I tell you😤

Miya Atsumu

he would insult you for eating so many sweets (though a lot less harshly than he would insult Osamu for doing the same)

even tho he lowkey loves the way your eyes light up when you see your favourite pastry

he might or might not scream into his pillow when thinking about your happy face stuffed full of cake (one time Osamu caught him and he denies it to this day 😒)

is really picky about the sweets he'll surprise you with for valentines day, he wants the best only for u💛

Ushijima Wakatoshi

only ever eats dark chocolate (90% cacao at that)💀

tells you you'll get fat if you keep eating so much sweets and sometimes prevents you from eating them

even if he does it in a harsh way, he really cares about you and wants you to stay healthy so you can live long and share many memories with him

when you try to explain to him the appeal of sweets, he'll just say "But they are unhealthy." with the most straight unbothered face ever

(though he can't deny your little excited noises when eating sweets make him happy 😖💚)

Tendou Satori

shares your enthusiasm for sweets tenfold 🤎😉

you two are always hunting for new places to go try out sweets and then rating them together

spoils you with sweets and you spoil him back too (nothin like a little mutual spoiling, amirite?)

he makes you the best chocolates ever for valentines day and you always look forward to what kind of twist he's going to put on it every year

ICE CREAM DATES, ICE CREAM DATES 🗣🗣!!!

Iwaizumi Hajime

much like ushijima, he would worry for your health sometimes, although he would word things less harshly

and even so, he would sometimes buy you your favourite pastry just to see your face light up

what can I say, boy's gone soft for you and only you🥰

sometimes he lets you feed him cake and he looks embarrased but deep down he likes it a lot

also makes you exercise with him just to make sure you're staying healthy, he cares ❤

Sakusa Kiyoomi

does not like sweet things at all and doesn't get how you can like them so much

he doesn't talk to people who can't take care of themselves as he said himself so expect to exercise with him a lot (jeez, that's two in a row)

sometimes he can't help but indulge you and buy you something sweet and you always poke fun at his blush when he hands it to you (seriously, what happened to Mr "you have to exercise every day and refrain from eating sweet things because they are detrimental to your health 😐")

as long as you can prove you take good care of yourself, he will go to any place with you to watch you eat sweets

Nishinoya Yuu

when he finds out you like sweets, be prepared to recieve A LOT of them from then on

sometimes even you can't handle it and have to tell him to stop (to which he agrees.... and then comes back with something sweet like an hour later🤦‍♀️)

he just can't help it hehe you look too cute when eating sweets

buys you chocolate flavoured chapstick just so he can do the whole "does it actually taste like chocolate?" and when you offer it to him he kisses your lips instead thing 😙

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hisunshiine · 10 months

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—it’s the way that you can ride [3/7]

Part 3 of 7 of the Seven Days Series ↣ series masterlist

🗓️pairing: nurse!jungkook x teacher!reader 🗓️au/genre: non-idol au, brother’s friend au, fwb, age-gap(reader is older), f2l, fluff, angst, smut 🗓️rating: M 🗓️wc: 4,622 🗓️warnings: emotionally constipated pairing, reader is older, adult worries, growing older, dating younger, time passing and not hitting milestones everyone else is, second-hand embarrassment, enter Kim Seokjin as an antagonist, Jungkook is so hot but his feelings are too big, angsty cliffhanger explicit sexual content: unprotected sex, light bondage, talks of a safeword, oral (m & f receiving), discussion of safeword, Jungkook is whiny, positions of 69, face riding, reverse cowgirl, cowgirl, and jack-hammer, biting, multiple orgasms, creampie. 🗓️an: part 3!!! I apologize in advance for the ending cliffhanger, but hey, it's the angst that makes the story, amirite? 😭 🗓️summary: “It’s the way that you can ride, it’s the way that you can ride…” Picking an outfit for a wedding is hard enough without your friends with benefits turning you on. Especially when he makes a tie look so sexy, you can’t help but use it to get him right where you need him to be. Ties make great reigns, and Jungkook is willing for you to be the leading lady, in more ways than one.

Taglist: @sizzlingfestpeach @mochminnie @jungkooksmytype @kookslastbutton @taebangtanbabe (if joining the taglist, please think about reblogging with tags/leaving feedback!)

The smell of antiseptic cleaner might be pungent to some, but for Jungkook, it’s non-existent. He sits in the hallway of the unit, typing away at one of the portable computers used to write up notes on patients. He picked up a shift to help balance the few days he plans to take off for Yoongi’s wedding, and once he gets off at 2 PM, he plans to head straight to your place so he can figure out an outfit formal enough to wear to the wedding.

“Hey, Jungkook, you finished your DAR notes fast. In a hurry? It’s a little early for you to be rushing off to get your fix,” Dr. Kim Seokjin teases him as he approaches, scrolling through a tablet.

“Actually, I am headed there, but not for what you’re thinking, nosy.” Jungkook puts the finishing touches on the last patient’s notes. He’s proud to say he carried out all of his assigned responses to patient action plans Dr. Kim assigned, and once his relief shows up, they’ll reap the benefits of all his hard work on day shift. “I have to finalize my formal outfit for Yoongi’s wedding.”

“You don’t know what you’re wearing yet? I’m surprised you aren’t wearing matching outfits with a certain someone…actually, I’m waiting on when it will be her walking down the aisle to you.”

“Seokjin, fuck off.” Jungkook knows he’s being sensitive, but right now, he’s confused and stressed about this wedding.

“Listen, you guys need to come clean to Yoongi, and then come clean to each other. It doesn’t take a doctor to diagnose you both as lovesick.”

“Seriously, hyung. It’s…complicated.”

Jungkook is about to elaborate, but just then, another voice chimes in.

“What’s complicated? Do you need help?” SoHee bounds into view from behind Seokjin, her hair braided and scrubs a soft pink to compliment the light blush dusting her cheekbones.

“Nothing.”

“Jungkook here’s thinking about bringing a plus one to Yoongi’s wedding. Hey, you’re going aren’t you?” Seokjin spills, making Jungkook huff out an angry exhale.

“Oh, yeah, I’ll be there!” SoHee shares. “Yoongi invited quite a few of us from the school. To be honest, I think it was to get a larger haul of wedding gifts. I guess if I bring a plus one, we could split the gift…”

Seokjin laughs, but Jungkook just chuckles, feeling a little awkward.

“Well, maybe you can go to the wedding as Jungkook’s date?”

“Hyung.” Jungkook shoots a burning stare at Seokjin, but he ignores it, continuing to push the agenda.

“You’re not going with anyone yet, and SoHee here is a perfect option. Unless you have someone in mind?” Seokjin gives Jungkook a challenging stare.

“I mean, I would love to go with you, SoHee,” he answers, looking to her eager face, “I just have to make sure of some things. I’ll let you know, though, okay?”

“Of course, Jungkook! I look forward to hearing from you.”

A page sounds off over the speakers on the floor, and Jungkook glances at the clock, seeing he’s free to escape Seokjin and his terrible attempt at prescribing a cure for his diagnosis. He bids farewell to SoHee, but Seokjin follows him towards the staff lounge. Once they’re alone, Jungkook rounds on him.

“Are you insane? Now SoHee is going to expect me to take her on Sunday!”

“And? I thought you liked her?”

“I do, but it's complicated, like I said.”

“Just…think about it. SoHee is totally into you and willing to take it to the next step. I know you’re enjoying your sexcapades, but don’t you want more?” Jungkook just shrugs before pulling off his scrubs to change back into his street clothes. Seokjin sighs, shaking his head as he turns to leave. “I can prescribe something for your emotional constipation if that would be better?”

“Fuck off, Jin!”

Music plays loudly as you search your closet for something to wear. You bought a few formal pieces, making sure to keep the tags on until you make a final decision on a dress, but if you’re being honest with yourself, you know exactly why you have yet to make a decision. The sound of your door opening as Jungkook lets himself in with his spare key (because who wants to get up out of a comfy bed every night to let in a horny muscle bunny just to get back into said bed?) reminds you to stop being honest with yourself and continue to lie; it’s easier that way.

“Babe, I’m here and I have, like, seven different tie options. Help.” Jungkook appears in your bedroom doorway with a vinyl-zippered garment bag and another small bag clutched tightly in his hand.

“Seven options? They had that big of a variety when looking for eucalyptus and sage?” You reach for the smaller bag, guessing correctly that it held various ties in the shades mentioned. “Wow, color me surprised.”

“No, go color yourself eucalyptus or sage so we can make sure these tie colors are suitable.” Jungkook orders you back towards your closet while he begins to shrug off his hoodie.

“What color suits are you debating between?” you call out as you step into the silky sage dress. It’s a little too frilly for your liking, making you feel younger than you like. 2004 is calling and they want their clothing back.

“I have a navy blue, a black, and a grey suit,” he responds, and you tell him to try them on one at a time, sans tie, to see which one looks and feels the best first. Then you’ll help him narrow down the tie options from there.

Stepping out of the closet, you hug your dress to your chest and ask Jungkook to zip you up. He does so, but his response to the dress is just so-so. You knew before you put it on that you probably were not going with this one, and his reaction only solidifies that. The navy blue tuxedo on Jungkook is nice, but upon close inspection, the jacket button sits a little too high, making his torso look shorter than it is.

“Okay, let’s see the black one. This one is a little too tight now that your chest has grown.”

Shimmying out of the dress, you return to grab a floral print dress with shades of lichen green sprinkled all throughout. It’s body-con and knee-length, and missing that umph that you want in a formal dress, but you didn’t have many options in the colors Yoongi chose.

“That’s better than the sage one.” Jungkook appraises you, but you can tell this one is not right for you either.

“I have a few more, but I think I know which one will work best.” Eyeing Jungkook’s black slacks, you stop him before he puts on the jacket. “ No. Definitely not. The pants are high-waters, did you get that thing when you were in high school?”

Jungkook’s ears turn red as he ignores your question, and you realize you hit the nail on the head.

“I mean…maybe?” He scratches the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.

“Okay, last suit. Hopefully it fits, or we’re running to the mall.” Back in the closet, you reach for the hanger of the dress you really love. It’s a eucalyptus-colored floor-length gown, with an A-line cut, spaghetti straps, and a thigh slit. You try to zip up the dress as far as you can, but you don’t want to ruin the presentation by walking out just yet. “Jungkook, can you zip me in here, please?”

His slippered feet shuffle along the carpet as he steps into the dim closet, fingers warm where they skim your back as he closes the dress. You shoo him back out into your well-lit bedroom before gracefully walking out on tip-toes. Jungkook lets out a wolf-whistle.

“Damn, you have to wear that. You look like a goddess.” You can tell he’s not lying or offering flattery for no reason. His eyes are a portal into his true thoughts and he’s shit at lying. A giddy feeling fills your chest, reminiscent of puppy love. “Okay, now me.”

You look up at him and the soft grey of the suit complements his honey-glazed skin well. You have him spin in a slow circle, and despite the pants being slightly snug, you know that’s not something you can fix without a tailor on short notice—the man has a nice ass and with his slim waist and long legs…It looks good.

“Perfect.” Your voice is almost a whisper as you step into his orbit, hand reaching for the ties to see which one looks best. Jungkook is still, letting you color match his suit and he thinks you’re also subtly seeing which one matches the color of your dress as well. He wishes for the umpteenth time that he could just…convince you to say what you’re thinking at this moment. Why don’t you tell him that you want to match? That you want to be his plus one? He’s sure that’s what your actions mean. So why don’t you ever tell him?

“Are you sure? Maybe I shouldn’t wear this color, you know?” Jungkook asks timidly, testing. “Your brother really wants us all in his wedding colors?”

“Yes, he explicitly said we had to wear the colors. They won’t have bridesmaids or groomsmen—you know Yoongi and his minimalist agenda, but his fiancé still wants to have wedding photos with all of us, so we have to coordinate.” You pout as you answer him, fixing the tie as you finish the last loop and pull through. “Why? You don’t want to match with me?” The way your eyes look at him, all wide-eyed and lovey-dovey has him backpedaling.

“Babe, you know I do, I would choose to match with you even if we didn’t have to.” Jungkook finds himself admitting, and kicking himself in the ass if he could, for revealing way too much about how he feels about you, without anything in return. Well, the way the furrow between your brows disappears and your pout turns into a cute smile is definitely a reward, but it’s not the same.

You turn, asking him to unzip you again, and then you shuffle back into the closet to disrobe from the dress. He wishes he could see you wear it for a little longer, because you look so gorgeous in it, but he knows that this isn’t his last chance. He shucks off the suit, carefully placing the pants and jacket back into the garment bag. Lying it down flat, he leaves it open so he can still add the shirt and tie. He admires the color of the fabric, a soft but bright green that compliments his honey skin well, the satin pinched between his fingers.

“Let me.”

Jungkook turns back to face you at the sound of your voice, freezing when he sees you’re only in your strapless bra and thong. Not that he’s in any better of a situation; he’s in boxer briefs and a white button-down shirt.

You tug at the tie, gently pulling the longer piece to allow it to slip off from around his neck, Jungkook ducking his head to help you guide it free. Dropping the tie on top of the suit jacket, he feels the way your fingers, warm and light, touch his stomach as you undo each button, starting from the bottom of the shirt. Your eyes never leave his, and he swears he barely blinks—you’re like a siren calling to him, keeping him in place.

“You bought all of these ties, Ggukkie. And only that one will be used.” You nod towards the garment bag, hands finally reaching the collar of his shirt. “What will you do with the rest?”

“I-uh, I think I’ll save them. Can use them for other formal things. You know?” Jungkook can’t think of any other occasion that he would wear a tie, other than another wedding (his to you, perhaps?) or possibly his funeral—the look in your eyes is like you want to eat him alive, and he’s more than willing to go out that way.

“Hmm, I can think of a few uses for them.” Your hands slip under the shirt where it sits on his shoulders, gliding the sleeves down his arms. His tattooed arm slowly reveals itself, a sight he knows you enjoy seeing.

“Oh yeah, like what?” Jungkook knows he’s going to like your idea. You work in a school, and teachers are always pretty creative; this isn’t his first time letting that beautiful brain of yours run wild with him. He can feel his boxer briefs tightening in a specific area as his excitement grows.

“Let me show you.” Jungkook follows your lead, allowing himself to be placed in the center of your bed. You climb off briefly to pull two ties from the bag and pop off their tags. You make sure to choose two of a softer satin fabric, since he can’t return them now. You climb back on and return to straddling him. Your core is warm through the thin cotton of your thong, and Jungkook can’t control the slight jump of his dick when you settle on top and lean forward.

“Hand.” You kiss each of his fingers delicately before pressing a kiss to his palm. Placing his hand against the headboard, you thread the tie through the cutouts and secure his wrist in place with a bow. “Other hand.” Jungkook’s doe eyes are wide as he watches you follow the same routine on this hand, hitching him so he sits like a scarecrow against the frame.

“Let me know if at any time it hurts and you want to stop, okay?” Your hand rests on his cheek, cupping it gently as your eyes search for any signs of fear or wanting to back out.

“I know, babe. Safeword is Velveeta.”

You giggle, climbing off of him so you can move his garment bag a safe distance away. “I can’t believe you chose that as the safeword.”

“Have you heard the way you sound when you get super wet? It’s like Velveeta mac and cheese, you know?”

“And why is that what you equate to a safeword?”

“Because, when I want to feel safe or need comfort, I need to be inside you.”

Jungkook watches your reaction, the way your footsteps falter momentarily as you return back to the bed where he’s sitting patiently, waiting for you. You don’t say anything more, you just pause at the edge of the bed, your hooded eyes only on him.

Your hands reach behind you, undoing the clasps of your bra so that it falls to the carpeted floor. Your thong drops next to join it in a scant pile that you leave behind to climb back on the bed. Returning to straddling him, you press your chest against his as your hands frame his face. You run your nose along his slowly, bringing your lips to his forehead in an act of closeness so much deeper than sexual—at least to Jungkook it is.

He strains his hands against the ties, already seeking to touch you, hold you, secure you to him. He tilts his head up, seeking your lips instead and you kiss him fully, several pecks before it deepens into a wet, tangle of tongues. Both of you moan; you rock your hips over his clothed cock and he wants to cry because he can’t feel you the way he wants to. Not yet, at least.

“I’m gonna taste you, yeah?” you breathe out into his mouth, and he nods, eyes blown as he watches you lower your body until your head hovers over his lap. He can see the sheen you left behind on the black fabric, a thin oval shape that glistens from your fresh arousal. You pull at the waistband, hands cheekily grazing his cheeks as you reveal him.

He’s somewhat hard, naturally, and pants in anticipation as you make yourself comfortable between his thighs. He’ll never get over the feeling you give him when you admire his length. He’s sure he’s told you before, but no one cherishes his cock the way you do. He feels all but one muscle relax as your mouth envelops his tip, all soft and wet, warm and comforting like your pussy—a great alternative, he thinks.

If the first moment you taste him relaxes him, the moments ensuing are the opposite, causing his muscles to expand and contract as your sinful mouth glides up and down along his shaft. It’s low-key infuriating for Jungkook that you make him feel this good and he can’t even touch you.

The headboard creaks slightly and you narrow your gaze in warning, mouth stuffed full of his length and unable to reprimand him. Jungkook lets out a series of chuffs at the scene spread before him: you, naked and drooling into his lap with eyes cutting into his soul for the simple fact that he wants to reward you with touches for the way your throat, mouth, and tongue treat his prized possession.

“Please, babe, wanna touch you too,” he whines out, hoping to appeal to your nurturing side. And it does work. Kind of. He watches (he can’t do much else) as you pop off his cock with that lewd sound he so enjoys hearing your lips make against the tip, and crawl back up his body. Your chest is heaving slightly as you fill your lungs, but you ignore all attempts by Jungkook to nip at you with his own lips.

“Scooch down,” you demand, and he listens well like a pupil as you guide his wrists and ties down to the bottom edge in turn. You have to get off the bed to go to the end, wrapping your soft hands around his ankles and pulling him so he slides across your sheets, arms mostly extended. “Only because you’ve been good, and I don’t want to risk you breaking my headboard.”

Jungkook is a little confused at how laying flat is a reward, as it makes it harder for him to watch you, until you climb back onto the bed facing the opposite direction. “Fuck, yes,” he practically sings, but you just shake your head with a smile as you grip his hard-on in your fist.

“Let’s see how well you keep your focus, baby.” It’s a taunt that you pair with a shake of your hips before lowering your glistening pussy lips to his waiting mouth. Jungkook loves how turned on you get just by sucking his cock, wants to taste the arousal created just for him, by him, and loves a good challenge.

His mouth is open when you nestle yourself against him, tongue out and lips ready to make out with you. You squeeze him in your palm, a whimper as your back arches from the heat of his mouth and Jungkook has to lift his head a bit to chase your movements. “Don’t run, wanna make you feel good, too.”

He hears you take a deep breath, breasts rubbing against his lower abdomen as you lick at him before dropping your hips once more. Jungkook resumes his feasting, spurred on by the little sounds you make as you rock back and forth on his face. He loves that you’ve split your knees on either side of his shoulders; he can’t use his hands to hold you wide, but you do a great job keeping your pussy open for him to tease with his tongue.

The switch between who is dominating who is fast—he knows that you must’ve been aching and throbbing between your thighs before letting him touch you, and now you’re closer to climax than he is. It’s also Jungkook’s specialty; what can he say? He likes to eat.

When you catch your rhythm on his face, you lose your rhythm with your mouth, instead using your hands to stroke him as you sit up higher and higher. Your left hand grips his thigh, right hand stroking him in time as Jungkook groans from below you. He loves when you do this: give in to the pleasure and suffocate him, and almost whines in despair when you lift up to check-in.

“Can you breathe? Am I killing you?”

“If you don’t sit back down on my face and let me eat this pussy—mmphh.”

Jungkook doubles down his efforts, dropping and raising his chin in order to lick you from top to bottom and when you adjust slightly so he can access your clit, he gently suckles it as your thighs shake and you cry out his name.

“Fuck, Jungkook—holy fuck!”

You collapse onto him, laying your head on his pelvis as your body shivers from the aftershocks.

“And you thought I would lose focus,” he jokes, but you seem to take it seriously.

“Ah, you’re right. You didn’t get to finish. I got you.”

“Hey, you know I never have to cum, just making sure you get off makes me feel good.” Jungkook hates that you might think this is just a sex exchange, needs you to know it’s more than that. You sit up and shift around, body moving to align with his.

“And I like knowing I made you feel good.” You kiss him deeply with tongue. “We’re perfect that way, huh?”

Jungkook wishes more than once that he could say what he wants to say. That you’re perfect for each other—probably soulmates—bets he’s met you in another life. Instead, no words come out of his mouth as you face away from him. You throw a mischievous smile over your shoulder before you spit in your hand and grasp him, moving to hover over his pelvis.

“You’re actually mean for this,” he says, watching as you sink onto him, and he’s able to watch your lips part around his cock, stretching to fit his girth until you bottom out. Your cute ass hides the view until you lift up again, revealing the glistening trails of cum that decorate his veins and he can’t stop himself from pulling at the ties. Jungkook just wants to help guide you, wants to put his hands on your cheeks and spread them apart so he can see the stretch of your pussy as you ride him, maybe even press his thumb to your puckered hole, watch as that shiver runs down your spine in ecstasy.

“Safeword?” Your concern shows in your tone and the way you slow your movements.

“Don’t need it, just wanna fucking touch you.” He would hate how whiney he sounds if he didn’t know you thrived off it—can feel it in the way you clench for him.

“If you use it, I’ll release you from your shackles…” you counter, and how dare you giggle at Jungkook, knowing using the safe word gives him what he wants, but he’ll never use it with you. How can he when he feels his safest right now, balls deep.?

“It’s fine,” he grits out, bucking his hips to get you to move again, ride him again, but you don’t. Instead, you rise up, keeping just the tip in until you are able to rotate around and face him. You look torn, teeth worrying your bottom lip about whether to untie him or not, safe word be damned. “Don’t do it unless you want to.”

Jungkook watches the debate swirl in your eyes, before you reach up and tug at the bow ends, letting him free from his confines. Instantly, his hands move to your body, fingers wrapping around your ribs as his thumbs settle under your breasts before moving down to trace the outline to your hips. With a firm tug, he seats you once more, a groan of curse words slipping out. You’re still so wet from the mixture of his spit and your own orgasm spread along his shaft that he slides into you like a glove, nestled tight between your walls.

Small hands press to his chest, and your thumbs rub circles around his nipples as you begin to ride him, pussy walls quenching the thirst for you as he fights to keep his eyes open so he can watch your tits bounce in his face.

“That’s it, baby, ride my cock,” he encourages, “only you ride me this good, fuck—so good for me.”

You smile at his praise, moving to lay chest to chest so you can really roll your hips, sheathing and unsheathing him in rapid succession. The clapping of your skin against his fills the room, creating a harmonious sound paired with the heavy breathing and sweet murmurs and whines. Jungkook feels his control slipping as his hands grasp your cheeks and spread them, allowing him to reach deeper inside of you. He feels the flutters that let him know you’re so close to a second orgasm, so he plants his feet into your mattress and begins to jackhammer up into your aching cunt.

Your teeth press into his shoulder, cries muffled, but he keeps going, even after he feels you contract and release, wetness pooling below his belly button as he gets closer and closer to joining you.

“Jungk—shit, shit, I’m—”

He’s not expecting you to cum for a third time, didn’t realize his repetitive stroke to keep him in your pleasure longer would catapult you, so when you do—and hard at that—it takes him as well. His cock throbbing from how hard he fills you up, cum milking in spurts that leak out around his cock as he fucks you through the best of it until neither of you can take anymore.

—————

Jungkook’s left hand plays with the strands of your hair as you sleep on his chest. His cellphone’s brightness is turned all the way down so as not to disturb your beauty rest. Not that Jungkook thinks you need it. His smile from the thought of your beauty fades as he focuses back on his phone. There’s a tightness in his chest under your head that isn’t stemming from the pressure of your body.

He knows he hasn’t done anything wrong, in fact—he’s very much within his rights to do whatever he wants, with whoever he wants, but the only person he wants to do things with is you. It actually makes him a little irritated that he shouldn’t feel guilty. He wants a good reason to turn away any and all advances women (and even some men) make on him.

When everyone knows you’re single, it’s a bit harder to say no to dates with people. Especially if it’s someone Jungkook might’ve been interested in at one point in time. How does he explain that he can’t give someone else a chance because he’s holding out for you? That he’s too busy building his own courage to tell you that he wants you, to let another person (like the girl texting him) into your spot?

He scrolls through the messages SoHee left him while he was busy fucking you into the mattress during round two after a break to rest and refuel with Korean BBQ takeout and a Netflix movie.

stay tuned for “so break me off another night” coming 8-10-2023!

#bangtansorciere #bangtanbathhouse #clubzerooclock #bangtanwhq #btscreaturescoven #btsafterdarknet #bangtantheatrenet #thebtswritersclub #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook au #jungkook writings #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfiction #seven days series

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 4 months

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REWATCHING GO S1, LIVE PLAY-BY-PLAY OF DOOMSDAY WAHOO

HELLO MAGGOTS REWATCHING SEASON 1 BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME WAS A KIDNAPPING CHAOTIC MESS. EPISODE ONE HERE GOES. I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT OF DETAILS BUT YES.

Opening scene and Earth's got vibe-checked by God and I've been gaslit about the dinosaurs

GARDEN OF EDEEEEEN wow his first appearance and Aziraphale's already so prissy and flustered might fuck around and fall in love with him idk

I finally understand who these mf's are hi Hastur and Ligur you're not zombies after all

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SECOND SCENE CROWLEY'S BEEN IN AND SHE WALKED IN, SERVED HIPS HAIR AND CUNT, AND THEN MANAGED TO TALK HER AWAY INTO A PROBLEM

LIKE GENUINELY SHE COMES AND SASHAYS WITH HER HAIR AND SAYS TIMES ARE CHANGING AND HEAD OFFICE LOVES ME AND JUST INSTANTLY HASTUR AND LIGUR USE HER WORDS AGAINST HER

idk sister mary loquacious is kinda doing it for me rn with that satanic nun's habit and losergirl energy

third crowley scene and he's misplaced THE LITERALLY GODDAMNED ANTICHRIST because he made small talk with a bloke outside without checking for details

mmmmhm yes sister mary wink again your bitchless decisions are sexy y'know what i mean

Gabriel feels like his brain was eviscerated and replaced with one of those youtuber's paid course promos at the end of their how to change your life in 45 days: three simple mindset shifts video

so THIS IS WHY EVERYONE KEEPS SAYING PAVLOVIAN IN THIS FANDOM IT'S BECAUSE OF DUCKS of course it's because of ducks

mmmhm yes sure crepes French revolu--Crowley stop eye-fucking Aziraphale you're making everyone at the Ritz horny

Aziraphale don't moan into your food man you can't take these two anywhere

Crowley thanking the driver for slowing down is everything to me

And they're drunk hu-fucking-zzah good thing we'll have 11 year olds saving the world coz these fuckers sure ain't doing shit

OH MY GOD HE WAS TRYING TO SAY BOUILLABAISSE I JUST REALISED. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST MAKING KISSY FACES AT AZIRAPHALE I'M NOT OK-

What Aziraphale was doing back was definitely kissy faces though that mfer wasn't even trying to say bouillabaisse when Crowley said what sounded suspiciously like baby

kissy kissy from lil miss prissy [i would have made such a great high school bully shame i had no inclinations that way]

SORRY WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WAS THAT SOBERING UP EXCUSE ME THE FANFICS MADE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS A CLICK AND THEY'RE SUDDENLY NORMAL WHY IS THE ALCOHOL REFILLING

oop nun down nun down

i want ya see a wile ya thwart amirite on a t-shirt

"actually i encourage humans to-" just say you're a lazy bitch azi we love you

love crowley fake-manipulating azi into helping like azi wants to be manipulated y'know so it's not technically his fault he was wiled over or whatever and they're both just such ENABLERS

not azi going SOFT at being godfathers with crowley

NOT BROTHER FRANCIS PLEASE NO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AZI WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS PLEASE

WARLOCKKKKK I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HNNNG MICHAEL SHEEN HAD TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS

why is nanny ashtoreth so seductive with that of course dear is it just crowley's inherent disastergirl sex appeal

HALF PONYTAIL CROWLEY I AM A FUCKING SLUT FOR HALF PONYTAIL

GASLIGHTING HEAVEN AND HELL THAT'S MY BABYGIRLS

erIC THE DISPOSABLE DEMON I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COME IN S1 well not come i hope unless being eaten by a hellho--nope

ANGEL CROWLEY SAID ANGEL ANGEL ANGEL

CROWLEY TRYING TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT KILLING BEFORE GETTING ANNOYED

waiter crOWLEY OUTFIT I CANNOT BE NORMAL AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS DESIGNING ABOUT THIS COSTUME

FOOLS WRONG BOY YOU FOOLS IM DEAD

DOG IS UNIRONICALLY SO CUTE EVEN BEFORE IT GOES SMOL

gonna give my roxie a kissy brb she's my angel and all this dog talk makes me miss her (she's a few feet away under the bed)

i asked her for a kissy and she crawled out and gave me a kiss i love her

DOGGGGG ADAMMM

...roxie's crying to be taken downstairs it's nearly 2 am this is on me for waking her up i crowley'd myself fml

EYYYYY WELCOME TO THE END TIMES don't mind me I'll have to take roxie down yes I know maggots I'm crowley-coded I KNOW THAT I'M A BLOODY DISASTER BYEEEEEEEE

#good omens mascot #good omens #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #maggots #good omens fandom #good omens season 1 #in the beginning #WAHOO #OK GTG TAKE MY DOG DOWNSTAIRS AT 1:45 IN THE MORNING #THE CROWLEY LIFE #IT'S HARD WORK BEING THE RESIDENT DISASTER #BUT SOMEONE'S GOTTA DO IT

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goosewriting · 10 months

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Okay, I'm a sucker for these ones, but how about...

Y/N from our world falling into the ROTTMNT world?

Would Y/N explain that they come from a world where the boys are from a TV show, or just keep that one secret for their whole life?

If the boys find out, how would they react?

How would Splinter react?

I can imagine Y/N walking up to their turtle of choice and just breaking down crying, hugging him(especially after seeing the movie) and telling him he didn't deserve that pain.

Falling for you (rottmnt Leo x reader)

summary: reader falls into the rottmnt world and comes across the turtle brothers.

relationship: Rise Leo x GN reader

warnings: kinda meta i guess, this one’s kinda sad u_u sorry

word count: 2k

A/N: this fic has been marinating in my wips for almost a year. better later than never amirite? o(-< sorry for the delay! also i couldn’t for the life of me figure out the other turtles, but i liked it enough to post as is. I might come back to this one at some point! this trope is S+ tier btw, thank you so much for the request!

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

There was nothing you were looking forward to more than getting home, taking a nice shower, and collapsing in your bed. This week had been way too hectic for your taste. Recounting all the events in your mind with a slight scoff, you walked down the dim street. Only a couple more blocks and you’d finally be home. If you had the energy, you might even treat yourself to rewatching the Rise of the TMNT movie. You’d definitely laugh and cry just the same as when you first watched it. It was just too good.

You were so lost in thought, that the sudden strong gust of wind took you by surprise. Holding onto your jacket and backpack for dear life, you stumbled over your own feet, knocked over by the sheer force of the draft. With nothing near you to lean onto or take a hold of, you stepped onto the manhole in front of you, which to your horror completely gave in to your weight. With a shriek you fell down the hole, but instead of being engulfed in darkness and having a nasty landing as you expected, you were floating in a tunnel of colours and flashes. As they started to twist around you quicker by the second, you started to feel nauseous, not being able to tell apart up from down and left from right, so you closed your eyes shut and braced for the impact.

After a couple more spins in this strange space, you landed a bit roughly on your side and rolled over. Trembling, you took a couple of breaths to steady yourself. You could feel a slight sting on your hip and elbow where you had landed, but nothing else seemed to hurt. Tentatively opening your eyes, you were sort of expecting to be covered in sewage or at least some dirt, but instead, you found yourself on the ground in what seemed to be a narrow alley. It was dark, so you couldn’t see well, but something was definitely off. The lights coming from the main street were way too bright and neon-y. You also noticed the lack of that typical city smell. Standing to your feet, you dusted yourself off, only to realise that your arms weren’t your arms. Your hands, legs, even your backpack next to you on the ground; it all looked cartoony!

Grabbing your things and running towards the street you spun around to take it all in and concluded that you were, in fact, in a cartoon world of sorts. How hard did I hit my head?! you asked yourself. Because clearly, this could not be real.

Different characters passed you by on the street, ignoring you. You walked a little farther, trying to recognise the style or some of the shops, but to no avail.

Just as you were turning a corner, you saw a sign that you immediately recognised: Albearto’s. Falling into a jog to check out the shop, you failed to notice the giant vehicle approaching you. And apparently so did the driver, as it came to a screeching halt before you, slightly bumping into you in the process. You were yet again knocked down and on the floor.

“If I could stop being assaulted for one second, that would be great” you grumbled to yourself.

“Hey, are you okay?” a voice asked from the direction of the vehicle.

You jumped back to your feet, ready to give them an earful for being so careless, but as your eyes came up to the scene before you, all words left your brain.

In front of you was none other than the turtle tank, four colour-coded turtle bros walking towards you with worried faces.

And once again, you hit the ground.

You passed out.

— — —

When you came back to, you found yourself lying on a couch. Shielding your eyes from the lights with your hand, you slowly stood up. Taking a look around you immediately recognised that you were in the lair, in the projector room to be precise.

“Well, someone is finally awake,” you heard a voice behind you. A voice you’d recognise anywhere, amongst hundreds of people.

You slowly turned around to look at Leo, who was leaning on the back of the couch, looking down at you.

“Are you okay? You came out of nowhere, we didn’t see you!” he asked and gave you a once over to check for any discomfort. “This is why we don’t let Raph drive” he added with a lopsided grin, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder.

You blinked once, twice. And tore your gaze from him to your hands in your lap, fisting the blanket.

Should you tell him? That he and his family live in a cartoon world? That he’s your blorbo and you love him with the intensity of a thousand burning suns? What timeline are you in anyways? Did… that already happen?

Daring to look up at him again, you noticed he was wearing the black arm wraps. He looked at you with a quizzical, almost irritated expression, since you weren’t answering. You gave one last look over your shoulder behind you, and there were in fact a couple of abandoned subway wagons in view. So they were at the new lair.

For now you decided to play along.

Turning around back to Leo, who was still waiting for your answer, you gave him a smug look.

“Do you always bring back the people you almost run over to your home?” you asked.

“Only the pretty ones,” he responded. You looked at him in shock. He mirrored your expression, realising how that sounded.

“That was way creepier than I intended, wait,” he groaned and hid his face behind the back of the couch. You heard him sigh, and then he walked around it to sit on the arm rest beside you.

“Let’s start over,” he smiled and held out his hand for you to shake. “I’m Leo, but you call me Neon Leon”.

Smiling at his self given nickname, you introduced yourself as you grabbed his hand with both of yours, and just kind of held it. You held his gaze as your eyes softened.

“Do- do we know each other?” he asked with an expression that was something between confused and amused. “Usually people don’t react this calm to, well, this,” he explained, using his other hand to gesture at himself.

“I can’t see why,” you replied, biting your tongue just in time before adding a ‘since I like what I see’.

“Isn’t that why you fainted though? Out of shock?” he questioned and his eyes fell down to his hand, which was still in yours. Feeling the heat rise up to your face, you immediately let go.

“No, I, uhm…” You cleared your throat, trying to come up with an excuse. “It was more a shock of almost being run over rather than seeing who it was,” you lied, but commended yourself mentally since it was believable and much better than the truth.

“Understandable,” he nodded. “You’re fine though, right? Donnie ran some tests and we didn’t see any major injuries or anything. Ah, by the way, Donnie is my brother. There’s four of us, actually. Or five, if you count Splinter. Six, if you count April…” he started rambling, counting on his fingers. You noticed he didn’t mention Casey.

The rest of the day was spent with Leo giving you a tour of the lair, introducing you to everyone, and showing you his Jupiter Jim comic collection.

When he asked where you were from and other similar questions, you tried to keep it as vague as possible. You hoped that he wouldn’t think you were hiding something because you were a spy for the Foot or something like that. You just couldn’t tell him the truth because if you did, he’d want to know how the show ended, and you don’t want to be responsible for messing up this timeline, whichever it is.

So you tried to enjoy the evening as much as possible, playing games with the turtles, eating pizza and reading comics.

As the night rolled in, you felt the exhaustion of everything that had happened sinking in. Looks like the lack of energy from your world had followed you even here. With a hearty yawn you stretched your limbs.

“Looks like someone’s tired,” Mikey giggled.

“Yeah, I think I’ll head home-” you started saying in your sleep-deprived state, only to abruptly stop yourself, eyes now wide open. “Actually, I just remembered I don’t have a place to stay. I got… kicked out” you said, and technically, it wasn’t even a complete lie this time.

“Aw no, poor thing!” Mikey whined and came to hold you in a comforting manner. “You can crash here for now. Right guys?” he looked at his brothers, giving them the best puppy eyes he could manage. Sighing, the others gave in. They weren’t all that keen on letting a stranger stay, but you seemed nice enough.

Once again you were tucked into the couch, this time with more pillows and blankets. They had even offered you some spare clothes to change into.

Coming out of the bathroom you made your way to your makeshift bed, looking down at your attire. Seeing your own cartoon self in the mirror was weird enough, but now here you were in Leo’s baggy shirt and basketball shorts and it dawned on you that you didn’t know if you’d still be here tomorrow. You had no idea how you had landed here in the first place, or if you were just imagining it. Even then, you wanted to take out as much as possible from whatever time you’d get to spend here.

So you climbed into bed, and waited until you could hear faint snores coming from the bedrooms. Going over the words one last time in your head, you tip-toed your way as quietly as possible to Leo’s room. Gosh, you looked like such a creep right now. But you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Carefully standing next to his bed, you noticed how sprawled out he was, his sleeping mask kinda askew on his face, mouth open. At the sight, your hand came up to cover your mouth, stopping the emerging giggles. He just looked too cute.

Taking a deep breath, you crouched down and held onto his bed frame. You spoke in nothing more than a whisper.

“I don’t know if I’ll be here in the morning, but I just wanted you to know that this was the best day of my life. Never would I have thought I’d meet you for real. You’ve always kept me going when life got difficult, I…” You paused, bitterly smiling at the fact that you were about to profess your love and admiration to a fictional character. “It’s unfair, really. You have no idea who I am, but there’s so much I want to tell you, yet I can’t, I- I shouldn’t. Just know this: You are loved. You are worthy. You are a good leader. You are a good brother. And if I am still here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next… I wish for nothing more than to be by your side.”

Suddenly your mind was flooded with the events of the Krangpocalypse, and you felt the tears building up. You stood up and turned to leave, but stopped in your tracks. For a moment you battled with yourself, but ended up taking a step back again to lean over Leo and place a gentle kiss on his forehead. As you leaned back up he stirred, and you turned to make a quick leave.

What you didn’t know however was that he’d been awake and had heard everything, but was too shocked to react. After some minutes pondering if he should go talk to you or not, he decided it couldn’t wait until the next day; he wouldn’t be able to sleep anyways after what you said, especially the way you said it.

Climbing out of bed Leo silently made his way to the projector room only to find an empty couch.

You were gone without a trace.

~~~

🐥 taglist: @theoriginalmintyyyshake, @dybynyght, @lieutenantlashfaz, @galaxtic-writings, @Lovestruckfictionadict, @salty-s-r, @sleebykei, @hearteyedracoon, @koalaray, @maribatshipper, @whygz, @xnorthstar3x

[if you want to be added to my taglist, fill out this form! if you're in the list but changed your handle, please shoot me a message to let me know!]

#goose feathers #rottmnt #save rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #rottmnt x reader #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt leo x reader #leonardo x reader #rise leo x reader

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jaegonsmoon · 2 years

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Aegon deciding to lock Luke and Aemond in a deserted part of the Red Keep. He plans to get them out after a few hours but totally forgets until like late the next day. Good side is, Aemond and Luke bonded over their escape attempt (and angry fucking). Bad side, they’re both now out for Aegon’s blood.

ooooooh

No but imagine Aegon doing that while drunk and then the next day he’s just casually looking for Aemond all confused because he hasn’t seen a hair of him around, but shrugs it off. Then sometime later Jace approaches him and is like “Have you seen Luke? I can’t find him anywhere.” and all of a sudden Aegon is having ten war flashbacks and two epiphanies and a premonition of his death.

He throws an arm over Jace’s shoulder and is like, “You do know you are my favourite nephew, right, Jace?”

And Jace is squinting at him, “What did you do?” he asks, eyeing him suspiciously.

Aegon sags beside him, “I need a huge favour.” And Jace is groaning now in annoyance asking once again what the fuck did he do, and Aegon is chewing at his bottom lip anxiously, thinking about how tired he is and all the running he will have to do when Aemond chases him throughout all the Seven Kingdoms with a knife. “Fine, I might’ve had enough of mine and your brother’s bullshit last night and locked them both up in an abandoned side of the Keep. And yes, I was drunk.”

Jace is now exasperated, because Aegon really has three rocks—that might as well be tiny stones, for a brain. “What the fuck, Aegon. Aemond is gonna chop off your head.”

“Precisely.”

“Oh Gods, he probably chop off Luke’s head by now!”

And then Jace is all over him, trying to get his uncle to tell him fast where the hell he left them. Aegon can’t remember shit very well and Jacaerys drags him along until they finally find the room. When they unlock the door they find Luke and Aemond curled up around each other, Aemond’s coat wrapped around the younger prince’s smaller frame. Lucerys was fast asleep on Aemond’s lap while Aemond was simply resting, having awoken long minutes ago. Aegon laughs like a maniac at the sight and Jace is between confused and relief to see his brother’s head still attached to his neck.

“Count your fucking days, Aegon.” Aemond threatened through clenched teeth, but didn’t say it loudly so he wouldn’t disturb the exhausted, sleeping boy on his arms.

Aegon just smirked, turning to Jace lightly and then at the other pair. “Someone had to do something about all that tension. Orbiting like that for ten years is not healthy. Either kill each other or kiss each other, amirite?”

Three eyes glared at him.

#how did this turn into a mini drabble #i’m sleep deprived and it’s like almost 5am #aemond x lucerys #lucemond #lucerys velaryon #aemond targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #lucerys targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #jaegon #jacegon #lucemond fanfic #drabble

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lovelyo · 4 days

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Why Eloise is My Favorite Character

First off, look at that beautiful face. Claudia is deadass pretty. But besides that, she’s the one that has visibly gone through the most character development and it was subtle as well. When I watched season 3 part 2 trailer(garbage like I predicted it’d be) watching Eloise and the maturity and concern she had for her brother, insisting Penelope to tell him, that she can’t lie to him and expect him to love her(which he’ll end up doing anyway but fuck Polin) and even given Penelope a chance to tell him. The mercy she showed Penelope despite what she’s done and the pain she caused her; the trailer made me finally come to the conclusion that she’s my favorite character.

I was iffy bout Eloise at the beginning of season 1. I know many were annoyed with her and said she was a pick me girl—I even thought, “booo, here we go, one of those annoying buffoon feminists who don’t know how good they have it.” She wasn’t annoying, but she sure was self-righteous about women’s roles in society and how they shouldn’t have to be subjected to the marriage mart and all the feminist bible thumping bs and saying this from her ivory tower.

But you know what she did? She walked down those tower steps, willingly left that ivory tower to go expand her views and learn outside of it, something that women in the ton wouldn’t do. She put herself at risk to broaden her horizon.

“You wish to follow your heart. I wish to nurture my mind.”

Eloise didn’t reject Theo’s criticism of her limited understanding and her privileged position. She took that to seek greater understanding beyond what she knows so I really don’t know how in the living shit people think she’s self-absorbed, especially after she starts interacting with Theo.

Eloise is brusque and may come off as abrasive, but she has integrity, is gracious, and is kind-hearted. She sought out LW for a selfless cause: to help Penelope and her family from ruin. She helped LW escape from the Queen.

The times Penelope has come with her crocodile tears, Eloise dropped everything to comfort her despite Pen insulting with her “pretty Bridgerton” comments(but she’s a bad friend, amirite?)

She didn’t see the lower class as beneath her but as people to learn from(but she’s blind to her privilege, right Penelope stan?)

She was one of the few who showed compassion and understanding for Marina's situation. Despite her being sheltered(that a lot of anti-Eloise fans get their rocks off in exaggerating), she knew that Marina was in a shit place and treated shamefully.

She knows there aren’t many women who share her views and thought processes, but that doesn’t stop her from having them and voicing them and hopes that women would also go against social conditioning.

“How else should I be? Married and silent?”

She kept Penelope’s secret for months. She didn’t try to destroy Penelope or get back at her. She just cut her off and moved on with her life. She took the high road in this situation, a thing that some adults don’t even do.

When she realized that her gossiping hurt Penelope, she sought her out, admitted fault, and apologized. That was incredibly brave and mature. She might be angry at Penelope, but she pushed back when Cressida was mean, even apologized to Pen on Cressida’s behalf.. She didn’t push Colin to be cruel to Penelope just because she had a fall out with her. Eloise is A LOT better than me because if I was in her shoes, Colin finding out bout Whistledown would be the least of Penelope’s problems.

Eloise is just a joy to see on screen, especially in S3 where she is literally the only voice of reason and her suffering with this LW business got me weeping(especially since we know Pen will suffer nothing from it). She better have a good conclusion by the end of the season. The show has failed in almost everything this season.

Don’t fail on Eloise.

#Eloise appreciation #justice for eloise #eloise bridgerton #bridgerton #eloise deserves love #Xoxoxo Eloise #Eloise is my fav #No one can stop me from loving her no one

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therainscene · 1 year

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Will Byers: Be gay do crime, amirite?

Growing up means putting away childish things, choosing between marrying a woman or remaining celibate, becoming a wage slave with no free time, and accepting that this is how life works.

Fuck that!

Will would rather spend his time doing things he actually enjoys with the people he loves, and if he has to break some of society’s rules to do so... well, clearly the rules were bullshit to begin with and deserve to be broken.

But the spark of defiance we see in the van is a smoldering ember compared to the fire of S3.

Will jokes about Vegas and D&D, but that’s all it is -- a joke. Getting to spend the rest of his life with Mike has begun to feel like a silly fantasy, akin to using superpowers to commit fraud as a minor.

It doesn’t occur to him that Mike’s cries for help could be because he wants to escape comphet, not be pushed further into it. He weeps quietly over his self-inflicted heartache, back turned and mouth smothered, like there’s something unreasonable about his feelings.

What happened to the brazenly authentic boy who openly admitted that he expected to spend his life with Mike? Where’s the offended boy who called Mike out on his performative heterosexuality? The furious boy who screamed and sobbed and swore as he felt society’s homophobic standards closing in on him with all the inevitability of growing older?

Will is authentic and headstrong, but even he is getting slowly crushed under the boot of forced conformity.

Some of the GA think this is an acceptable outcome; just an inevitable part of growing up gay in the 80s. It’s realistic and relatable. Great queer rep!

Others decide that Will should become a villain -- after all, hasn’t he earned the right? The narrative has done nothing but torture him, so doesn’t he deserve to go a little apeshit? As a treat?

Henry Creel: Be gay do crime, amirite?

Henry is scathingly critical of society’s rules. He refuses to compromise his true nature by playing along, and no amount of punishment can force him to change.

His backstory is presented in a way that makes it difficult to sympathize with him -- I mean, ok, maybe he didn’t deserve to be jailed and tortured when he was just a child, but surely the Soteria was necessary, right? He’s dangerous.

But the real threat that Henry poses isn’t his willingness to kill -- it’s the power he has to rewrite the rules. And both he and his oppressors know it.

By locking him up (forcing him into the closet), torturing him (subjecting him to homophobia), and implanting him with Soteria (castrating him), they stripped him of agency and reduced his options to a rock and a hard place:

Continue suffering in obedient silence.

Go apeshit and commit whatever atrocities are necessary to escape. Embrace his role as the villain in a story where people like him aren’t allowed to be the heroes anyway.

(Hmm, those are same options that Will is expected to choose from. What an interesting yet surely meaningless coincidence.)

The tragedy of Henry’s story is that he did end up conforming to the rules in the end.

He didn’t choose the option his oppressors would have preferred, but he did choose an acceptable one -- he became the monster they’d already branded him as. Once upon a time his fellow outcasts might have gladly allied with him, but now they’re forced to stop him.

I love the symbolism of this shot. El’s rainbow is larger and pushes Henry back, while his is upside down, foreshadowing how the battle is going to end -- but more than that, it symbolizes their approaches in battle.

The motivation that Henry is using comes from the same place as El’s -- a desire for self-preservation, to defy authority, to fight for the rights of fellow outcasts -- but his has been twisted. He advises her to use a memory of injustice that makes her feel angry and sad...

...and while it’s very effective, it’s not enough. It isn’t until she thinks of a memory that makes her feel loved that she’s able to gain the upper hand.

Interestingly, the lights surge around her as she does this, bathing her in an ethereal white glow:

It fits the symbolism of the rainbow room perfectly -- after all, what is white light if not a focused rainbow?

But more importantly: where have we seen this before?

Will Byers carries the light with him wherever he goes, because he has the benefit of something Henry was cruelly robbed of: the unconditional love and acceptance of his family and friends, which helped hinder society’s efforts to crush the authenticity out of him.

So why should Will suffer the same fate as Henry? What’s stopping him from being the hero and earning the happy ending he wants, instead of the tragic ending homophobes expect him to settle for?

Like Henry, Will has the power to rewrite the rules -- and this time, they’re actually going to be rewritten.

#stranger things #will has powers #byler #will byers #henry creel #el hopper #my analysis

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waitmyturtles · 9 months

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THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 4 (“UHHH, IF I FEEL SOMETHING, DOES IT MEAN I HAVE FEELINGS, WOMP?”) EDITION

That’s how I felt after watching yesterday’s episode. I have NO BUSINESS writing meta in my current life-mental state, but I NEED to get a few words down. Just some list-y thoughts.

Shit’s starting to gel for me. The cast seems like they’ve warmed up to each other by way of actor-ly chemistry. (I know scenes are never shot in order, but there was maybe a little stiffness I felt at the start of the series? At this point, it might just be Lookjun carrying that, but I also don’t think she does “drunk” as well as the others.)

Such good meta that sustained me during my packing yesterday. @ranchthoughts on an ephemerality BREAKDOWN. @respectthepetty Senpai on sluts slutting — and HOW WE AUTOMATICALLY JUDGE AND LABEL SLUTS FOR SLUTTING (more on this in a BIT — go OFF, RTP Senpai). And @slayerkitty on nailing the narrative frameworks, which really struck me this episode, and this goes back to ephemerality again. Can’t believe I’m gonna meta, but let’s boogie, ‘cause I gotta.

@ranchthoughts — Ranch, I’m probably going to repeat some of what you wrote, so please forgive my stress-addled brain. I just lost it at Khaotung this episode, I thought he was just OVERFLOWING with BEST-NESS this episode — and the way we lived with Ray in his past in this episode. It was another play on time. And I love that @slayerkitty nailed that it was the flashbacks that were doing the talking this episode — because especially for Ray, the past is doing HIS talking. His mother didn’t love him in his past. Therefore, because of his past, he is unlovable in his present. (Interrrrgenerationalllll traumaaaa — the past affects your present. The opposite of ephemerality. That shit’ll STICK with you UNTIL you decide to face it head-on, like our beloved PatPran.)

Ooooh, baby. Gosh. The combination of the use of flashbacks, with Ray living in his past, only listening to music his parents listened to. And Sand — falling for Ray! — is holding Ray’s hand and bringing him to the present and the new. Sand’s a figure of change. Ray keeps toeing BACK to the past, to his memories, to his “love” for Mew, and Sand’s like, let me hold you down. (Ray going back and forth — like relapsing.) Ray STILL flashing back to Mew, holding that pendant (THAT LOOKS AN AWFUL LIKE AN ECLIPSE SYMBOL, AMIRITE AMIRITE) — and flashes again back and forward to the record store, where Sand found Ray’s hand.

What will Ray need for Sand to do to pull Ray even closer to the real-time present? How will Sand help Ray face his trauma? Will Sand really hold Ray down?

I am a big believer in the ships sinking, but goddamnit, First and Khao ATE this episode. GAAAHHHH.

Just musing: If Jojo and team started out this series having us think on ephemerality, the general lack of accountability, and the disappearance of time — are we entering the next act of the series where the characters grapple with the impacts of their pasts? That if you’re engaged emotionally and/or sexually with others, that not being accountable for your past and present is NOT an option? (That’s a kind of frame that speaks very closely to Jojo’s devotion to messages of sexual health in his past shows — especially regarding Nat in Gay OK Bangkok, who was HIV positive.)

Also musing: I saw some posts on my dash grappling with Top and Ray using coke. Drug use is obviously common on the partying circuit — their using coke doesn’t surprise me, especially considering that Top and Ray were both shown also being familiar with pills earlier. But I will note that the entire SE Asian region prosecutes the drug trade quite harshly, so to be honest, I was surprised to see Top actually snorting (but not surprised that that would be in a Jojo show). (Some passing links: when I Googled “drug use in Thailand,” this study shows that of a sample of vocational students in Thailand, LGBTQ+ students were more likely to use three or more drugs than heterosexual students, plus more findings. And this article briefly reviews the history of drug prosecution in Thailand.)

Also musing: really loved how Top’s demeanor was SO different with Nick and Sand. Maybe this indicates how much he’s “controlling” himself around Mew (@ranchthoughts , beep beep, control). Especially when Nick was talking with Top — it seemed like Top had been approached for money like this before. And the way he was so forward with Sand, confident to tell Sand that Sand wasn’t up for keeping Boeing — that was a totally different Top than who we see with Mew.

Okay, penultimate point. @respectthepetty says: sluts gonna slut. @bengiyo says: dudes gonna dude.

Cheum calls Boston a ho. Top says Boston is nasty. Nick calls himself nasty. Nick is Boston’s “favorite.” Jojo challenges the viewer to think that Top was gonna sleep with Beam, as RTP Senpai writes. Top’s already slept with Boston while dating Mew. On and on and on.

I wrote in my review of Theory of Love that I related to Khai, and now I relate somewhat to Top by the way that some of the viewership has judged Top. I was VERY often called the slut/ho of my friend groups in my younger years. OFTEN. And this was while I was in my twenties, exploring myself, my boundaries, my sexuality, all of it.

I relate to the struggle of trying to shed labels. Ray is a “burden.” Boston is “nasty.” Mew wants the truth from Top as to if Top has been with anyone else while they were dating. Therefore — Mew is assuming that Top IS sleeping with other people.

Call these people by their labels, and they’ll start believing them. It’s just another kind of trauma, similar to intergenerational trauma.

I wrote in my Theory of Love piece that as a global society — humans don’t really believe that our fellow humans can CHANGE. We don’t accept change well. (Cancel culture rarely allows for someone to be uncancelled — right?) If someone takes on a label — we tend to believe that label, and we have a hard time believing that someone has SHED that label after time. If Ray was called a burden by his mother — what work will it take for Ray to shed that label? And same for our sexually active guys, too.

Think about how you talk about your friends to others. Think about if you use labels to talk about them. Think about how old those labels are, and if they’re accurate in the present. And. Think about how you judge others by their pasts. (“Remember when so-and-so was sleeping around?”) Think about whether or not you use the past to judge and/or justify your FEELINGS about someone.

Now, I don’t even KNOW if these guys WANT to change these paradigms. We get the SLIGHTEST hint that maybe Boston wants to do so with Nick in next week’s preview.

But. I just fucking love that Jojo is playing around with this. If someone is HIV positive — that’s a label, a stigma. If someone is a ho — that’s a label, a stigma.

These dudes are burdened by what everyone else is thinking and saying about them.

And we have Sand, on the other hand, processing his feelings with Nick. We have Nick acting like a damn BASKETCASE, but at least he admitted the wiretapping to Sand (??? lol honey but you gotta stop this now, nervous giggles, put Boston’s phone down). We didn’t see Yo in this episode, but we know Yo believes in accountability.

There’s something about the Ray-Mew-Cheum-Boston friend group that allows things to both slide and fester. We’ll get ever more clarity in the following episodes on this, but — these young folks are having ish dealing with their labels, the labels of their pasts, and what are they gonna do in their presents and futures to deal with changing themselves?

FINALLY, and then I’m done rambling. Is that supposed to be a penis, or something penis-like?!

(What’s good, Ephemerality Squad? Wish me luck with moving today! @slayerkitty @ranchthoughts @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @clara-maybe-ontheroad @twig-tea @distant-screaming @chickenstrangers)

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desidarling123 · 10 months

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SAB Scene Breakdown: Inej's Hallucination

OK, so I had actually been meaning to write and publish some meta on this particular scene (and just tons of SAB S2 meta, in general) in the weeks after the second season of the show came out. But life has been crazy recently, so I truly never found the time.

However, I reblogged a certain gifset a few days/weeks ago, slapped some tags on it, and realized there might indeed be some interest in some more #detailed thoughts.

The analysis that follows is at a pretty minute level of detail (and all of course based on MY views) so... take that with a grain of salt.

Also - fair warning - it's long as hell 😂 but entertaining, I hope!

I find this whole sequence in general super fascinating - it's one of my favorite scenes in the second season, and one that's also arguably subject to the absolute worst takes in fandom (iykyk... and if you don't, well, you're about to find out.)

So, let's get into it:

We start off strong with a very specific choice, made early on: it's not Inej seducing Kaz; rather, it's Kaz who's drawing Inej into this vision.

I get a bit more into the broader implications of that a bit later, but it's definitely important that it's done this way, rather than the other way around.

It's also, very notably, an inverse of this scene from a few episodes earlier:

What's unique about that previous scene is that in that moment, he's deliberately pushing her away (for reasons, mind you, that she's not entirely privy to, but definitely hurt her regardless - even if she pretends not to care about it to his face later on).

This is different. Instead of pushing her away, he is asking her to stay.

The choice of words is specific too: the word 'disappear' most obviously references her status as his spider. But it might also be an apt description of her own personal trappings, of 'disappearing' when in the throes of trauma-induced pressure.

Some atmospheric details I love:

Their IRL confrontation was in his office-cum-bedroom (👀shutup), a tiny, crammed space that matched the tension of that scene. This is the opposite of that - the room has a more open layout, imbuing the whole sequence with a more relaxed vibe. We can even see his cane chilling on the table behind him, just in reaching distance.

The DeKappel painting which they jointly stole in the books (and presumably on the show as well) is behind them.

Fire burning as a symbol for latent passion is not exactly groundbreaking imagery, but don't fix what ain't broke, amirite? :P

Malina, very notably, gets the same fire imagery treatment in their own love scene as well:

Will it show up again in a future season for kanej? Between that and, well, the recurring church imagery, we're in for a tossup, folks

But anyways. Back to the scene at hand.

You'll notice Inej goes back to a formal stance, hands behind her back, like she's preparing for a debrief or for an assignment. It's for a few seconds, if that, but it shows that she's grasping at some semblance of normalcy in this decidedly not-normal vision.

That facade lasts for all of, two seconds, tops, when he does this:

It's sexy! It's intimate! There's knives involved!

Okay, but seriously, for the sake of time I actually will not get into a deeper discussion of the ~implications~ because I'm sure it's been done a zilllion times before and it's also fairly obvious lol

Now, the one thing I *do* want to pivot to here is that by this point, both Inej and the audience understand that there is something very subtly yet fundamentally different about hallucination!Kaz.

But what is it?

Speaking on this scene, Freddy Carter had a quote (that I cannot be arsed to find rn) where he basically said that he deferred to Amita when playing hallucination!Kaz because "she (Amita) knows better (than I do) what it is that Inej likes about Kaz"

And what is it, exactly, that she likes about him? The next few gifs tell all, using actions rather than words.

This is her reaction to him pulling her knives from her. And what I find so interesting is that she is so (rightfully) startled....

But that is absolutely NOT the expression on his face at all.

In fact, he's remarkably self-assured.

And THAT, I think, is the crux of 'what it is she likes about him', as Frreddy said.

She likes his decisiveness, the single-minded precision with which he operates.

She's seen him apply it to every last scheme, every seemingly-hopeless situation... to damn near everything in the world, really, but her.

But here, in the depths of her hallucination, he does.

There are none of his usual hangups, none of their typically frustrating back-and-forths.

No. Here, he doesn't hesitate. He wants her, and he makes it known.

Striking, sexy stuff, to say least.

Let's go on:

Nothing to add here except that I'm obsessed with the way their heads turn at the same time here.

It's funny, because for all their personal hang-ups when it comes to physical intimacy, these two are SURPRISINGLY physically attuned to each other.

Goes to show, really, how much both of their problems are in their heads (obviously) -- and how, when they're actually ready to heal, relying on their intuition may be a better approach than getting too cerebral about it.

Again, Kaz does not break eye contact with her here, and it's such a contrast to what he might have instead done if this were happening in real life - in fact, does happen, in real life, though I'd argue that isn't exactly his fault.

I love that we get a moment where Inej looks down and sees his hand hovering near her waist, just so that it's made explicitly clear what he's asking for and what the ~implications~ are.

And then, she says yes! Enthusiastically, I might add.

Not but seriously the sheer want, the little touch of eagerness on her face kills me here. She's never had this experience before - has only ever known men violating her in the most horrible way possible - and yet this tiny little thing, of Kaz asking her for consent, means so much.

Oh my God Kaz is so sexy here sorry no words anyway carrying on.

Now even after she said yes you can see this sudden little beat of hesitation on her face, like she's maybe not sure what's going to happen or if Kaz is going to do what she asked. For her it's a moment of incredible vulnerability, even though Kaz is the one sort of making the advances on her - because this one time, she actually gets to say yes.

I think that shot of his arm going around her waist is so gorgeous and so sensual - but as we pan up we can see that maybe all isn't well.

Now, Amita also really does a fantastic job at portraying the turbulence of Inej's emotions -- she goes from clearly wanting it and saying 'yes', to visibly panicking once he acts on it. We see her shift around in his grip and even swallow nervously, blink-blink-blinking herself back into the moment.

Her response is reminiscent of this passage from the books:

But what might have happened if he'd spoken that night? If he had willingly offered her some part of his heart? What if he had come to her, laid his gloves aside, drawn her to him, kissed her mouth? Would she have pulled him closer, kissed him back? Could she have been herself in such a moment, or would she have broken apart and vanished, a doll in his arms, a girl who could never quite be whole?

You can see the very beginning of that sort of panic start to set in, here. This is completely uncharted territory for Inej - her own desire, the shame and baggage that comes with it, is all getting uncovered for the first time in what is arguably the 'safest' way possible - within the confines of her own mind - and yet, she's still panicking.

More on that in a bit. Let's keep going.

Anyways well Freddy's got a huge hand sorry anyway

I love the way she closes her eyes here. And you can see again it's not without effort - like there's still conflict within her, you can see all of those different emotions warring within her - but she is trying to let herself have this moment. She's trying to take comfort in this touch that she so desperately wants and yet hasn't had any sort of good connotations with in recent history.

She also opens her eyes just as he starts to lean in and I think that was a great, deliberate choice on Amita and Freddy's part.

It's that precise moment, really, when it becomes super super clear to her what's about to happen.

No notes, I just really love this forehead lean, it's that little bit of tenderness and intimacy that she's been subconsciously craving.

Again, it's fascinating to me that we can see all of Inej's nervous tics coming into play here, but for hallucination!Kaz there's absolutely no hesitation at any point whatsoever.

It looks like, for all intents and purposes, he is going to kiss her.

And then at the very very last second you see him move back, ever-so-slightly --

and then she moves all the way back and delivers her line:

Ouch. Like a punch to the gut. True, but still ouch.

Now one could probably ask, in hypotheticals: why didn't he actually kiss her at this moment? And the answer to that simply is: this is her hallucination, you know? Even though she's not conscious of it (she's dying lol), she's the one with all the power, here.

And truthfully, whether she knows it or not, nothing is going to happen in her hallucination if she doesn't want it to.

But wait, you might say. Doesn't she want to kiss Kaz?

Like that original excerpt from the book indicates, it's complicated. Everything pertaining to desire generally will be, for her.

Not that her subconscious doesn't put up a good ol' fight. Hallucination!Kaz, you have to remember, isn't so much Kaz as he is a very precise amalgamation of her own memories and desires.

And boy, does he make a good argument:

The word want, again, spoken so directly here - it's that sort of straightforward speech that neither party is actually really capable of (at this point) in their arcs, not when it comes to each other.

Again, Kaz is behaving perfectly in the prescribed character of his hallucination persona - direct, confident, not rattled in the slightest.

It's interesting also that he doesn't say: this is real. He isn't able to lie to her in her own fantasy, but he does instead tell her exactly what she wants to hear, which is arguably even more dangerous.

And what I feel so terrible about is you can see this tiny little spark this little bit of hope on her face that she has.

She wants to believe this so so badly. She wants it, damn it!

So this time, she actually moves closer, crosses that distance between them.

You can't see it super well in this gif, but you can see a little tiny muscle twitch in her jaw, a nervous swallow as she's bracing for him to kiss her the second time. And once again, Kaz isn't hesitating, there isn't any note of that discordant thing that they have in real life from his end.

Now another thing that drives me crazy is people claiming that they did kiss in the scene like bro. Bro. Freddy and Amita did not shoot this scene at no less three separate angles for you to tell us that they kissed!! They didn't kiss, they make it incredibly obvious that they did not kiss, and if you're the one person on planet Earth whose definition of a kiss is front lips brushing for .0000000002 seconds then I'm sorry, you belong to a different category, okay?

And again, that was on purpose! It totally would have defeated the purpose of this particular sequence if they had (and would've given detractors of this scene a real leg to stand on - again, more on that at the very end.)

But as it stands, they don't kiss, and that's also kind of critically why this isn't just a sexy scene to watch back.

AND THEN (I'm out of allowed images HAHA) she pulls away. And she says the words that end it all - This isn't real. This is the poison.

The premise of the hallucination is completely shattered, and she looks so heartbroken, but she's finally able to articulate what she's really known this whole time, and that is that nothing she's seeing is real. It is a lie being fed to her by her poison-addled brain as her body slowly succumbs and dies (dark).

But you know, she does get out of it through sheer willpower, and we love her for that - but oh man but what cost?

This particular sequence is definitely a catalyst for her changed behavior going forward. I do actually wish it had been a little better handled in the show (as in, better supported by dialogue in scenes before and after this one) but regardless - this scene is a Big Tipping Point and starts what is essentially a pseudo-regression arc for Inej (paraphrasing Amita directly, bc that's truly the most apt description of Inej's behavior for the rest of the season.)

It's really bad timing, unfortunately, because it happens just as Kaz is starting to open up like never before. He's starting to see the world in a completely different light while she's doing the exact opposite -- she is shutting down her own dreams and desires when it comes to him, because she's come to the conclusion that it's simply not going to happen.

And you know what, she's not entirely wrong for that assumption, but I do have beef with some of the particulars of how it was executed in the show. But that's a discussion for another day.

Now, onto a brief rant that I alluded to at the very start of this post - my single biggest grievance with fandom is that someone on the internet decided that this scene somehow ‘erased’ Inej’s trauma, when in fact that exact trauma is what underpins the whole damn thing.

The fact that this scene more or less parallels the passage from the books beat for beat, shows, in my opinion, that book fans who make these claims of 'erasure' must have deliberately chosen to ignore this passage from the books, or never even read it in the first place.

Because frankly? Once you take that passage into consideration, the intent of this sequence couldn't have been more obvious!

Just to underscore my point, I want to ask anyone who's reading this to please compare and contrast Inej’s hallucination with Matthias’ dream. If the intent, as many so often like to claim, was simply to make this moment in Inej’s mind a sexy, titillating scene, well then, it would have been shot a lot more closely to the way Matthias’ dream was shot: there's no lack of kissing and even implied penetration (!) which is crazy, because of course, Matthias and Nina have gotten nowhere near that in real life.

There's a sexual aspect to her dream, for sure, but it's not a stereotypically-passionate 'sex dream' so much as it is a thinly-veiled reading into her own desires and the inner turmoil that comes with it.

There's also a very subtle undercurrent here that I picked up on and explore in my ongoing fic , which is that Kaz, in these fantasies, is really always the one taking the lead, so to speak. Inej is not pulling him close or asking to kiss him - and we see that even when she consents to the act, she looks like she's bracing herself for it, rather than excited that it'll happen.

That is fueled no doubt by 1) her realizing it isn't real but also 2) the fact that she is still very much in the middle of her own trauma (having been freed like what? mere days ago? if that?)

Any concept of her own independent desire is still saddled with IMMENSE baggage - and this sequence showcases it perfectly.

I think after the fact, she's consciously aware of 1) but not yet aware of 2) which is beating around in her subconscious and is probably gonna cause her WAYY more problems going forward lol

TLDR; Inej doesn't know it just yet, but she's got loads of her own issues to work through, and until she does, she's going to be stuck in this weird purgatory of being a voyeur to/of her own desires.

#kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #sab #shadow and bone #my meta

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