#shit my friends have said | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

katherines-howard · 1 year

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enid: you need to take a break

wednesday: i don't take breaks, i just break down

enid:

#wednesday incorrect quotes #wenclair incorrect quotes #wenclair #wendesday addams #enid sinclair #wednesday netflix #enid x wednesday #wednesday x enid #i may or may not #have been airing my IRL friends #have this #shit my friends have said #as a shitty apology

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stardewvalleyincorrect · 10 months

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Shane: Yoba, my back is fucking killing me

Farmer: Old.

Emily: Old.

Sam: Old.

Abi: Old.

Seb: Old.

Shane: ... I'm 28-

#based on a convo i had with my partner #shit my friends have said #incorrect stardew valley quotes #stardew valley #stardew shane #sdv shane #shane x farmer #stardew sam #sdv sam #stardew sebastian #sdv sebastian #stardew abigail #sdv abigail #stardew emily #sdv emily

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hijinxinprogress · 7 months

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“Being a civilian in DC must be awful,” an excerpt from EnragedWeeb

“Living anywhere in DC is terrible, it’s not just Gotham but people only say what’s wrong with living in Gotham. Star City? My insurance isn’t gonna cover fucking trick arrow damage. Fawcett? No I’m not gonna be fucking collateral damage to a caterpillar and a middle schooler beefing. Metropolis? Not on your fucking life, I don’t wanna be saved by ‘Gee golly you’re safe now, civilian!’ But like imagine living in central city and the fucking flash is destroying the city because the reverse flash whispered in his ear?? I don’t want that or like fucking mach 37 fights and you’re being hit with like debris and lightning?? absolutely not. No but seriously imagine you’re minding your business and going to get groceries and as you’re leaving you get flung like 30 feet and a dead body just kinda flops on you. The flash is like full on sobbing while you’re stuck under this corpse… I’d be pissed. ‘No no, listen! Because why are you trying to help her? She’s gone, I’m not though like who’s gonna pay for my groceries?? Inflations a bitch, eggs are SEVEN dollars’ he’ll be like ‘That’s my wife! She’s pregnant’ and I’d have to go ‘Was not is, past tense so who’s paying for these fucking groceries. Like no she’s gone but I’m not, so help me?? That’s your job!’” - @enragedweeb

#send help #the ra hates us #dc flash #dc comics #Dc civilians #Dc is a hellhole #shit my friends have said #I need a fic with dc civilians rn #dc gotham #central city #star city #metropolis #Fawcett city

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caramella120 · 9 months

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Pepa teasing bruno

Bruno: STOOP LAUGHING INTO MY EAR!!!!!!

#pepa madrigal #bruno madrigal #p&b #encanto incorrect quotes #shit my friends have said

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zodiaconcrack · 1 year

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Things My Friends Have Said As Zodiac Signs (Part 5)

Aries: Soccer is killing me, work is finishing me off, and school is pissing on my grave.

Taurus: Guys, the coffee didn't help much, my brain is still fried. She told me thank you and I responded with hello.

Gemini: H-E-double hockey sticks is a swear word!

Cancer: I want the salmonella.

Leo: These pants, from Target. This jacket, from Target. This shirt, from Target. These shoes, from Target. This underwear...probably from Target.

Virgo: You're not even a quality burrito.

Libra: I touch my own boob because I'm lonely.

Scorpio: What are they gonna do, say yeehaw and punch me in my face?

Sagittarius: Your boy got himself some Zoloft! I’m the most mentally stable man in the room!

Capricorn: I’m so fricking smart right now.

Aquarius: Look up what dreams about buying cats at Walmart means.

Pisces: I hate humans. They’re the reason we can’t have communism.

#incorrect quotes #incorrect zodiac quotes #shit my friends have said #shit my friends say #zodiac #zodiac quotes #leo #aquarius #cancer #aries #taurus #capricorn #pisces #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #virgo #gemini #zodiac signs

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talleryn · 1 year

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Lockwood: there are a few legal grey areas we can exploit-

Lucy: you’re such a bad influence

George: I wouldn’t say he’s a bad influence he’s really more of a sad influence

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housefriendships · 1 year

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*staring out at a lake at twilight, mist rolling across the water*

hufflepuff: what would you do if we heard my voice calling for help behind us in those trees?

slytherin: what like a wendigo?

hufflepuff: yeah sure

slytherin: idk nothing? what are we going to do, make a run for it?

hufflepuff: yeah like it’s dark, I have glasses and you have asthma, we aren’t getting very far

slytherin: guarantee i’d twist my ankle too

#harry potter #hufflepride #huffleproud #hufflerin #shit hufflepuffs say #shit my friends have said #shit slytherins say #shit the houses say #slytherin #slytherpuff #shit my roommate says #hufflepuff

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going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi · 1 year

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shit my friends have said

"control your man!" "STOP EATING ARMS!"

"we love the indestructible dick"

"how many boobs do you have?" "ALL"

"I gave that to her, get it out of your mouth"

"I don't give an airborn fuck"

"when she was one she pissed the bed so much we had her sleep in the pool"

"c o m m u n a l t i t t i e s"

"if he was decapitated he'd be a ten but he has a head so he's a six"

"god should be less interested in my tits!" "have you met zeus?"

"that guy was shaking his ass" "BASED"

"AI generated milf"

"I like your boobs" "thanks I grew them myself"

"STOP BLEEDING ON MY KNIFE"

"it's a sock for your dick"

"pronoun titties"

"kaitlyn broke the hoe!" "no I didn't!" "oh so she retired then?"

"the chasing with knives needs to be done at a slower pace! safety first!"

"breathable underwear: it's breathable"

"son, what have I told you about nutting? TO NOT!"

"you're gonna fuck your soup??"

"founding fathers but SKANKY"

"I will not mother my bitches"

"do you need an anus? I have six in my basement"

"your coffee is a communist"

"I went to christian summer camp and you think I haven't sucked a dick?"

#shit my friends have said #shit my friends say #i've been keeping notes in my memo app for months hehe

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300iqprower · 2 years

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Why is everyone smarter than me

#fgo #shit my friends have said #lostbelt 3 #summer 5 #xu fu #yu mei ren #fgo xiang yu #gao changgong #fgo lanling

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latenightgasstationcircus · 7 months

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we have escaped confinement (twitter) and have returned to the wild (tumbler)

What horrors shall we see, what crimes will we commit

Welcome to the shit show

We don't know what's happening anymore then you

#shitpost #bullshit #there will be swearing #and mildly unsettling inquiries #shit my friends have said #dnd memes #lgbt memes #queer #punk #trans #gay #out of context quotes #context won't fix this #nerd shit #LateNightGasStationCircus

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briardatura · 1 year

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MY TWO FRIENDS THAT ARE DATING ARE LIKE SUPER FLIRTY ALL THE TIME AND ONE OF THEM CALLS THE OTHER A BITCH AND SHE GOES "YEAH BUT I'M YOUR BITCH" AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER RESPONDS WITH "THEN BARK FOR ME" ACE WHYYYYY

#shit my friends have said

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katherines-howard · 1 year

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wednesday: enid? are you okay?

enid: no! i need caffeine or a slightly electric fence to throw myself at

wednesday: i know a place

enid: i don’t like the coffee at the weathervane anymore

wednesday: i was referring to the latter part of your statement

enid:

enid: why am i surprised

#shit my friends have said #wednesday incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes wednesday #wenclair #incorrect wenclair #wenclair incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes wenclair #enid sinclair #wednesday addams #wednesday 2022 #wednesday x enid

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stardewvalleyincorrect · 10 months

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Emily: Shane look at this candle

Shane: ...The fuck does a thousand wishes smell like?

Seb: Apparently like vanilla.

Sam: Then what does Tropical Fruit smell like?

Abi: Why is no one questioning Man Town

#shit my friends have said #incorrect stardew valley quotes #stardew valley #stardew shane #sdv shane #stardew sam #sdv sam #stardew sebastian #sdv sebastian #stardew abigail #sdv abigail #stardew emily #sdv emily #seriously though #what does a thousand wishes smell like

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lil-als · 1 year

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Antebellum Politicians as things me or my friends have said

Andrew Jackson:

• “I’m going to SPITE BRUSH my hair!”

• “Nyaaa! Can I interest you in some lead?”

• “hey, the knife tasted good.”

Martin Van Buren:

• “ALL OF THE DUTCH FOX NOISES!”

• “Just bask in the glory of my Sofia the first nightgown”

Henry Clay:

• “I see the light, but I’m light sensitive so it kind of hurts”

• “I will fucking block you my love”

John Calhoun:

• “We don’t all get our own cubicle of hell”

• “Maybe it’s some kind of advanced neckbeard technique!”

• “People who own tiny houses aren’t a community but a cult”

James Polk:

• “takes a floor aspirin”

• “I am too school for cool”

• “WHY SO OLIVE GARDEN?!”

#james k polk #andrew jackson #john c calhoun #henry clay #martin van buren #shit my friends have said #shit i have said

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caramella120 · 9 months

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Pepa: *delirious from laughter* I'm saying things, that I'm not saying...

#pepa madrigal #encanto #pepa my beloved #incorrect encanto quotes #shit my friends have said

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zodiaconcrack · 1 year

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Things My Friends Have Said As Zodiac Signs (Part 4)

Aries: I don't know my cultures, that’s my bad.

Taurus: It was before the gay, and before the art school.

Gemini: Hope is a silent killer. You know, like radiation.

Cancer: Sometimes the law is trash.

Leo: Hey you know how people make cardboard forts with like scissors and tape and stuff?...Do you think that’s how they made the Alamo?

Virgo: You’re either writ or wrot in this world.

Libra: I always go off the path. Then I find a new path and then I'm in the water.

Scorpio: Her look is like Holy Water poured on my skin.

Sagittarius: I’m feeling pretty manic and it’s gonna become depressive real soon.

Capricorn: Scorpio are you okay? You look very calm.

Aquarius: I ate too many gummy vitamins as a child and that's why I'm so messed up.

Pisces: I’m going to come over there and punch you with friendship.

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