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slyterinthings · 2 days

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Griffindor: If you can have any super power in the world, what would you pick?

Slytherin: To not give a fuck about anything.

Griffindor:

Griffindor: Bruh.

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hms-hairy-plopper · 1 year

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Hufflepuff: *crying*

Slytherin: Okay, what happened *this* time?

Hufflepuff: *sniffles* Someone told me that my brownies were really dry.

Slytherin:

Hufflepuff: *sniffles*

Slytherin: Well, sounds like someone also doesn’t need teeth anymore…

#hp shitpost #slytherin x hufflepuff #hufflepuff x slytherin #incorrect hufflepuff quotes #incorrect slytherin quotes #hogwarts #incorrect harry potter quotes #hufflepuff #helga hufflepuff #salazar slytherin #shit hufflepuffs say #shit slytherins say #slytherin #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #incorrect quotes #harry potter #incorrect hogwarts quotes #hp fandom

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i-am-my-own-angel · 5 months

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siriuslytiredofsatan · 19 days

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Pt. 6

2 in one day because I like to spoil XD

#marauders era #hp #marauders #shit slytherins say #slytherin #gryffindor #slytherdor #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #marlene mckinnon x dorcas meadows #funny

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holyshit-im-hot · 9 months

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MC: i think our relationship is a bad idea

Jae: without a doubt

MC: then why are you smiling?

Jae: because bad ideas are my favourite kind

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regologist · 2 years

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Dorcas: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Evan, grabbing the bottle and chugging it:

Dorcas: Ev—

Evan: It’s perfume.

#evan rosier #dorcas meadowes #slytherin skittles #marauders era slytherins #shit slytherins say #marauders incorrect quotes #marauders #slytherin squad

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housefriendships · 1 year

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*staring out at a lake at twilight, mist rolling across the water*

hufflepuff: what would you do if we heard my voice calling for help behind us in those trees?

slytherin: what like a wendigo?

hufflepuff: yeah sure

slytherin: idk nothing? what are we going to do, make a run for it?

hufflepuff: yeah like it’s dark, I have glasses and you have asthma, we aren’t getting very far

slytherin: guarantee i’d twist my ankle too

#harry potter #hufflepride #huffleproud #hufflerin #shit hufflepuffs say #shit my friends have said #shit slytherins say #shit the houses say #slytherin #slytherpuff #shit my roommate says #hufflepuff

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hornedhufflepuffdevil · 2 years

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Another lil snake 🙄

Turns out my baby sister is also a Slytherin. And just for some context, she twerks to annoy me at times. So this time, I thought to turn the tables and see how she likes it.

Slythersis: casually lounging on the wheely chair in my room

Hufflepuff magnifique: *comes in wearing a head to toe one see like dress 😈*

Slythersis: 😓 *looks suspicious but unassuming*

Hufflepuff magnifique: *positions self sideways to display full body contortion*

Slythersis: *realizes* OHHH NONONO—

Hufflepuff magnifique: *thrusts butt out and furiously twerks for 2 secs. Then walks around normally like nothing happened*

Slythersis: 😧...

Hufflepuff magnifique: *casual* what?

Slythersis: *blinking like she can get rid of the image* that was.....

Hufflepuff magnifique: amazing? 😉

Slythersis: graphic

Hufflepuff magnifique: *laughs but then realizes*... Uh wot 🙄

Slythersis: so graphic. Pls don't do that ever again—

Hufflepuff magnifique: k *starts "twerking"*

But for real tho, this lil turd is only 12. Where'd you learn how to use the word graphic huh? And the audacity to use it on me 🙄 I will not tolerate this. Gonna pay that lil snake back

#me as a hufflepuff #hufflepuff #shit hufflepuffs say #hufflepuff likes #hogwarts house quotes #hufflepuffpride #slytherin #slytherpuff #shit slytherins say #slytherin pride #slythersis #two slythersisters #both said sisters are younger than me #im the oldest yes ✨

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ajokebydieties · 8 days

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Sheep following sheep. Birth, life, school, job, family, death.

Am I meant to be this way?

#existentialism #existential dread #existential crisis #existential thoughts #philosophy #nihilism #solipsism #2am thoughts #shit slytherins say #dark literature #dark philosophy #life

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slyterinthings · 5 months

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Slytherin: *about their family* Why is every single person in that household depressed and suicidal?!

Hufflepuff: you forget to add homicidal honey.

Slytherin: I'm not homicidal.

Ravenclaw: Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

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hms-hairy-plopper · 11 months

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Slytherin: You are interfering in my plans.

Slytherin: You need to go.

Slytherin: Dont bother saying goodbye.

Hufflepuff: *walks in naked with raging erection*

Slytherin:

Hufflepuff: *waggles eyebrows*

Slytherin: *rolls eyes, sighs, starts unhooking bra* Get back in bed and put the handcuffs on. Now.

#incorrect hufflepuff quotes #incorrect slytherin quotes #incorrect hp quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #hp shitpost #hp fandom #harry potter #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #hogwarts #incorrect quotes #incorrect hogwarts quotes #hufflepuff x slytherin #slytherin x hufflepuff #shit slytherins say #shit hufflepuffs say #slytherin pride #slytherin #hufflefluff #hufflepuff

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i-am-my-own-angel · 1 year

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Gryffindor: Every psycho I've ever dated was a Leo.

Slytherin: Every psycho I've ever dated believed in astrology.

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batcavescolony · 3 months

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I'm back talking about Harry Potter and Snape's worst memory because while I hate the author y'all bug me.

Snape worst memory isn't James bulling him or string him up in front of the school, (that was bad I'm not saying it wasn't) it was Lily ending her friendship with him because he called her a Mudblood. With evidence.

To prove my point we have to go read the Deathly Hallows when Snape gave Harry his memories! We get to see the scene again but this time the thing that sticks out the most is Snape calling Lily a Mudblood. Now if that's not enough proof the next memory goes like this.

*Outside Gryffindor Tower*

Snape: I'm sorry

Lily: I'm not interested

S: I'm sorry!

L: save your breath... I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.

S: I was. I would have done. I never ment to call you a Mudblood it just-

L: Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you? I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine.

S: No-listen, I didn't mean-

L:-to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?

*Lily leaves. Memory ends*

The next memory is Snape becoming a turn coat for Dumbledore so he could keep Lily safe because Voldemort wouldn't spare her.

Snape has had worse experiences then a teenage James Potter being a bully (even if it was shitty). so we look at the rest of the memory and lo and behold what do we see? The actual worst moment of Snape life, the moment he lost Lily forever.

#I just saw someone say they hated Lily because he's was too hard on Severus all he did was call her a Mudblood.#Yeah just called her a slur...And found it funny when dark magic was used on someone. And joined a hate group that would kill her.#And would've let her child and husband die if it ment she lived. bffr 🙄 lets put this in real world terms!#you're a minority (pick one) and you go to a school but their are some people who hate you for existing. but its ok you've got your bff!#now years go by and bff is still your bff but theyve changed. they're hanging out with those aforementioned people who hate you for existin #and yeah you dont like it but they're your bff since for ever so you make excuses. but then bff starts calling people like you slurs...#now bff hasn't called you slurs so maybe its just peer pressure you let it slide its your bff. now you find out that not only are there #people who hate you for existing there is his hate group and they want you and people like you dead. obviously you dont like his. now bffs #friends they want to join this hate group... and bff doesn't deny it. ok thats not great. bffs friends who wanna join the hate group have #now moved passed just calling people like you slurs. they've went and beat the shit out of a person like you that you considered a friend.#and bff.... they say that it was just a joke. but are again not denying wanting to join the hate group that wants you dead. you love bff so #you just keep your mouth shut. now the day comes! bff has now called you a slur. and you cant make excuses anymore. they're just like their #friends and you cut your losses because again bff and their friends want to join a hate group that wants to kill you!!!#its not poor litte Severus its poor Lily. she thought she had a friend and HE betrayed HER! but but but why didnt she stop him from joining #she was a child! she was in a new world with no idea! she was in a whole nother house! and its not her fucking job to fix him! he joined th #hate group HE KNEW HATED HER! if he truly loved her he wouldn't have joined. but but but its not that- ADROMADA TONKS could be a Slytherin #and not be a Death Eater and her family was pure blood. she could do it! so could Snape.#severus snape #lily potter #snapes worst memory #the marauders #harry potter #the deathly hallows #lily evans #put some more respected on her name.#fuck jkr #james potter #slytherin #how can you be a snape stan and not like lily that 80% of his personality.#snape

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goldandglittersblog · 2 years

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Theo: Malfoy,Why did you curve DM+HG on your desk?

Blaise: Yeah,man!!Are you in love with Granger or something?

Draco:

Draco: uh...pbbbrt... I.. It stands for Death, Maiming, Hatred and Gore.

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night-rhea · 1 year

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Non mc Night is way too funny because they be like

*keeps yelling at Merula 7/24*

*tells mc to not yell at Merula*

*go finds Merula to yell at her instead of mc*

*slytherin gang having calm time in common room (ismelda barnaby merula cordell night) *

*Felix enters* Someone fought with mc. Whoever it is, i will not be angry-

*Night turns to Merula* HOW DARE YOU İ TOLD YOU TO NOT FİGHT WİTH MC UNLESS İM THERE TOO

*Felix* Excuse me what

#İsmelda and Cordell are the duo with eyes that says im done with all of you #Barnaby is the puppy #Night and Merula is the problem kid but Night is like looks like an angel but is the problem Merula is looks a devil and is the problem #Poor mc if they are slytherin too #hphm #hogwarts mystery #night rhea #merula snyde #cordell rhea #ismelda murk #İ forgor Barnabys full name wtf #hphm mc #harry potter hogwarts mystery #naz's shit post #harry potter hogwarts game #jacobs sibling #harry potter #hphm jacobs sibling

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housefriendships · 2 years

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*watching a YouTuber play a horror game about a stalker*

Hufflepuff: horror games always try to make some big thing with monsters and ghosts, but real life is terrifying on its own

Slytherin: seriously. I would take my chances with a fucking ghost over a human man any day

#shit hufflepuffs say #huffleproud #hufflerin #hufflepride #shit slytherins say #slytherin #slytherpuff #slytherpride #harry potter #hogwarts house conversations #hogwarts house friends #hogwarts houses #hogwarts #shit the houses say #shit my friends have said

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