D'Arcy is 5'10". Just a bit of sexy trivia to hold on to.

Trophy Wife/Trophy Husband

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by lolabrooke, saweetie, 2forwoyne, softtcurse, urbanwyatt, champagnepapi, estgee, quiiso, and 3,290,164 others

jackharlow: You can guess who bought her that shirt 🤭😏

My trophy wife y/ninsta 😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow you so cute lol

saweetie: she most definitely is! my best frienddddd

sza: BADDIE

blancahood: imma say this under ever post. TRIPLETS WHERE?!

druski2funny: now why yall got the triplets college fund on the floor?!

jackharlow: druski2funny that's not their college fund, just their monthly allowance

urbandjack24: well damn okay then. I see yall big ballin

urbanwyatt: their monthly allowance? what the hell they buying? G Wagons?!

jackharlow: urbanwyatt Autumn might have asked for a mini one the other day

jessicakelce: jackharlow WAIT A MINUTE. She asked me for one too! and I already shipped it to the house!

y/ninsta: jackharlow get your daughter smh because jessicakelce we bought her one yesterday

theestallion: lmaooooo not yall getting finessed by yall offspring

jackharlow: all the bad bitches love a big baller

y/ninsta: richer than her ex and he's a bit taller jackharlow: bar spitter, but I get my kids swallowed 2forwoyne: jackharlow except the three you got running around claybornharlow: lmaooooo

dualipa: I should have bought it for her first smh most gorgeous trophy wife I know

jackharlow: dualipa don't start

dualipa: jackharlow too late

softtcurse: and who did that make up?!

y/ninsta: softtcurse only you of course. you the best bby. thank you.

allthingsy/n: wayment yall just having photoshoots in the house? who is watching the offspring?! ESPECIALLY AUTUMN 😭

y/ninsta: yall gon stop coming for my youngest lmaooooo and besides they were sleeping

claybornharlow: y/ninsta jack means that I bought that shirt for you, but he told you that it was his bright idea smh

jackharlow: claybornharlow you weren't anywhere near me when I bought this!

y/ninsta: claybornharlow hiii little baby! I expect you over for dinner tomorrow night!

2forwoyne: y/ninsta PAUSE! what about us?!

shloob_: yeah, we want to be fed!

y/ninsta: I know how yall remember how outta pocket yall were on the plane going to coachella. these are the consequences of your actions

yungskylark: y/ninsta but you can feed jack?

y/ninsta: yungskylark he's my husband and needs his energy to dick me down. I'll be feeding him in more ways than one 😏

jackharlow: y/ninsta 😉😉😉

Liked by jackharlow, saweetie, urbanwyatt, shloob_, lolabrooke, glorilla, cardib, privategarden, and 3,904,581 others

y/ninsta: my trophy husband 😍

Be jealous bitches. Only person riding that dick is me 🤭

jackharlow: y/ninsta baby, you know that you can always ride for free, you never have to ask

y/ninsta: jackharlow 😏

saweetie: just a bunch of nasties

y/ninsta: saweetie and I'll be that! smh

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta and this is why you have 3 children now smh

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt and I'll have 3 more

jackharlow: y/ninsta OH

y/ninsta: jackharlow NO. I WAS MAKING A POINT. NOT BEING SERIOUS. DO NOT GET ANY IDEAS.

shloob_: now y/ninsta you know good and damn well not to say anything like that because jackharlow stays ready

sza: she's about to be knocked up next week

y/ninsta: nope. birth control has been restarted. absolutely not.

softtcurse: hold on y/ninsta were you ever on birth control? I'm being nosey lmao

y/ninsta: softtcurse of course I was! my birth control was swallowing!

jessicakelce: BITCHHHHHHHHHH SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP.RIGHT.NOW.

blancahood: y/ninsta no your motherfucking ass did not just say that lmaoooo

saweetie: y/ninsta I swear I cannot stand you

dualipa: I guess he's okay

jackharlow: here her ass goes

dualipa: jackharlow if y/ninsta thinks that you're good enough for her then you obviously are. but don't get it twisted, I can take your place at ANY time

jackharlow: dualipa you can never go a day without choosing violence, can you?

Liked by jackharlow, brysontiller, lolabrooke, champagnepapi, urbanwyatt, jessicakelce, generationnow, 2forwoyne, and 5,376,903 others

y/ninsta: I'm back and I'm better 💕

allthingsy/n: first ladyyyyyyy! you look so gorgeous!

jackharlow: prettiest baby momma in the universe 😍😍

druski2funny: pleaseeee leave your husband for me

claybornharlow: druski2funny only person she's leaving him for is yours truly

dualipa: so the both of you just forgot that I exist?

softtcurse: count me in too

jackharlow: all of yall can fuck all the way off. never going to happen. right, baby? y/ninsta back me up here

y/ninsta: jackharlow you know I only have eyes for you but where's my fan club president? urbanwyatt!!!! show yourself! give the people what they want!

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta whatever it is, I didn't do it

softtcurse: urbanwyatt where the fuck is my y/n fan club merch that I was promised?! it's been MONTHS

dualipa: I second this

druski2funny: I want a meet and greet

lilnasx: druski2funny now your dumbass has met her how many times?!

druski2funny: lilnasx but not with the full fan expericence

urbanwyatt: none of yall are getting a damn thing so stop asking ESPECIALLY you Yasmin

softtcurse: urbanwyatt fine. Y/N!!!!! URBAN WON'T GIVE ME MY MERCH!

y/ninsta: softtcurse I'll send you some, no worries.

urbanwyatt: prepare for her to walk around with your face on everything she wears

softtcurse: urbanwyatt stop being such a hater

urbandjack24: wait, I want merch too

2forwoyne: Y/N has officially abandoned us. her and Jack had kids but forgot about their other kids which is us in PG

jackharlow: 2forwoyne you just mad because you're hungry. go eat a snickers and then come back and talk to us.

theestallion: not the snickers lmaooooo

y/ninsta: yall are such big babies, it's ridiculous but when I say that, yall get offended smh make it make sense

blancahood: y/ninsta you are the mom of the group who has to keep everyone in check

y/ninsta: blancahood it's a hard job but someone has to do it

Liked by jackharlow, saweetie, theestallion, generationnow, quiiso, yungskylark, jackandy/naremyparents, and 4,387,541 others

y/ninsta: woke up my honey bun at 2 am and told him to get ready and that we had somewhere to be. after convincing him that the babies would be fine, he finally agreed lol

jackharlow: y/ninsta baby can you please tell me where we're going?

y/ninsta: jackharlow no, it's a surprise silly!

urbanwyatt: so, yall just left yall first born here to fend for his self?

jackharlow: urbanwyatt call Yasmin, you'll be okay. there's food and water in the house

sza: lmaoooo I literally cannot with you three

jessicakelce: bring me something back!

jackharlow: and she woke me up when I had just gone to sleep around midnight

y/ninsta: jackharlow oops sorry baby. it's worth it though! been planning this for a while and I hope you like it

jackharlow: y/ninsta if it's coming from you, I know I'll love it. now is this the trip we go on where you tell me you're pregnant again?

normani: no he didn't lmao

y/ninsta: jackharlow only thing I'm pregnant with is a food baby so keep dreaming

jackharlow: y/ninsta so my mission by the end of this trip is to get you pregnant? okay cool. noted.

y/ninsta: jackharlow I will make you sleep on the couch in our hotel room

saweetie: y/ninsta lies. you talk about how fine your husband is all the time and you're going to let him sleep on the couch? girl, shut up and ride that man into the sunset.

jackharlow: YES, CALL HER OUT DIAMONTE!

y/ninsta: I see it's not one fake bitch in here, there's two 🙄

jackharlow: y/ninsta well did she lie?

y/ninsta: jackharlow you get on my nerves and I'm about to go to sleep

jackharlow: y/ninsta well come here and lay in daddy's lap

urbanwyatt: ENOUGH! I am fighting for my life watching the three that you have. DO NOT ADD ANY MORE UNTIL I CAN GET A HANDLE ON THIS

jackharlow: Urb, you sound stressed. everything okay?

jackandy/naremyparents: Urb about to go bald and we already know it's Autumn's fault

urbanwyatt: jackharlow YOUR YOUNGEST IS TERRORIZING ME

jackandy/naremyparents: whoop there it is lmao

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt just give her bluey and she'll be distracted for a while

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta SHE IS CLIMBING EVERY THING IN THE HOUSE

jackharlow: urbanwyatt how when we put up the baby gates?

urbanwyatt: jackharlow doesn't matter how. she finds a way around it every single time. enjoy your trip while I try not to land in someone's emergency room

Liked by y/ninsta, urbanwyatt, blancahood, privategarden, neelamthadhani, brandisimmons, champagnepapi, estgee, and 6,734,862 others

jackharlow: my baby surprised me with a vacation to Dubai. I love you stink 😘

y/ninsta: jackharlow I love you too smush. just saw how stressed you've been lately and decided to do this for you. you always spoil me and I always love spoiling you in return

jackharlow: y/ninsta then spoil me and let me get you pregnant

urbanwyatt: jackharlow NO. I've finally got a handle on things, but I'm still not ready.

y/ninsta: jackharlow I'm ignoring that

urbandjack24: lmaoooo the triplets have urban fighting for his life

druski2funny: oh so now you don't invite your life partner anywhere anymore?

y/ninsta: druski2funny back off, he's mine

druski2funny: jackharlow leave your wife for me

jackharlow: druski2funny after we hit a small bump in our relationship and you were ready to call it quits? NO. I stay where I'm appreciated.

2forwoyne: now jackharlow why do you want to get y/n pregnant again because we all know how you barely survived the last pregnancy

yungskylark: she wanted to get dicked down 12 times a day and shit

y/ninsta: yall not about to make me feel bad because my hormones were running rampant. just wanted to rip my baby daddy's clothes off every time I saw him

shloob_: and you don't see the problem with that?

jackharlow: shloob_ nope

urbanwyatt: and the time that I'm caught them in the hallway after jackharlow was hiding from her. complained and went right over to her to get his dick wet

jackharlow: urbanwyatt I'd do it again too.

saweetie: jackharlow we know with yall nasty asses. surprised it took this long to get her pregnant.

jackharlow: saweetie well there were a few scares along the way 👀

claybornharlow: jackharlow wait, other than the one I knew about?

jackharlow: claybornharlow yes

sza: jackharlow SPILL THE TEA

jackharlow: sza ehhhh maybe another time

y/ninsta: jackharlow we don't talk about that one. that was worse than the first

jessicakelce: WORSE? OH NOW I HAVE TO KNOW

y/ninsta: jessicakelce another story for another day lol now jackharlow come feed me I'm hungry

jackharlow: y/ninsta imma feed you this dick

y/ninsta: jackharlow after I get actual food please 🙄

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, saweetie, lolabrooke, laflare1017, glorilla, claybornharlow, estgee, and 4,961,249 others

y/ninsta: I'd do anything to make you smile 😃

jackharlow: y/ninsta this trip has been amazing, thank you mamas

y/ninsta: jackharlow always want to make sure my baby is good. you're welcome smush.

jackandy/naremyparents: my parents are officially in their soft era

jackharlowsource: all they want to do is love up on each other and take care of their babies without the drama (no pun intended)

urbandjack24: they've come a long wayyyyy and so happy to see them thriving

saweetie: please tell me he put on sunscreen this time

y/ninsta: saweetie I literally had to hold him down and straddle him to put it on but it worked

jackharlow: y/ninsta you just won't let me be great

y/ninsta: jackharlow you not about to be out here raw dogging the sunlight without protection. the hell wrong with you?

jackharlow: y/ninsta I'd rather be raw dogging you instead

normani: it never ends. it has gotten worse because you are now a MILF.

jackharlow: normani she'll be pregnant by the time we get back to Louisville

y/ninsta: jackharlow the coochie is closed for business until further notice until you get your shit together

jackharlow: y/ninsta wait, what?

y/ninsta: jackharlow you heard me smh

urbanwyatt: jackharlow put what time she folds in the group chat because I know that she will

jackharlow: urbanwyatt I already started timing it lmaoooo

y/ninsta: my best friend is against me

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta not against you, I just know you like the back of my hand

y/ninsta: YALL tell jackharlow to stop staring at me like he wants to eat me

jackharlow: y/ninsta but I do wanna eat you we got 20 minutes until our flight leaves

y/ninsta: jackharlow you better make this quick smh

Taglist:

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@awhore4moree

* meet cute!!!! Meet cute!!!!! Mary Winchester is cute af such good casting. Literally adore her! So pretty! Exactly how I would assume a young Mary w would look!

*‘See you around soldier boy’ excuse me did Jensen know he got picked up as soldier boy when putting this together cos LOL love that subtle nod.

* AHHHH NANNA WINCHESTER IS A FOX OOOOOFT I have the biggest crush!!!! She’s so sweet! already adore the shit out of her

*‘my husband and kid walked out on me’ ok ok ok mummy winchester no worries.

* ‘time to let the past go kiddo’ John winchester doesn’t just let things go…

*it’s very clear that Dean is much more like Mary than we thought! Ooooo who is Maggie!??? Also mary exercising a demon wheewww

*hahahahaha John winchester freaking out about demons is so great! I wish I could recall who Maggie is?? Did we ever cover Maggie??? Is she in canon?

*oh oh oh who is the man that gave that letter to John???? Is that man of letters????? wait so john’s dad was a man of letters??? Why are both their dads missing???? I adore this!

*oh his dads dead dur

*the chemistry is great! Well done to Jensen / casting people, these two already have me wanting them together

*This is extremely adorable that John is so accepting of demons and he’s just accepting it. Like literally demons? Weird bunker under ground no worries totally normal whatever

*was John always that tall??? Can we get a side by side of John and Mary???? Or Jeffrey and this actor??? Like he’s pretty tall… is he taller than Jared???

*side note - can’t wait to see them at the winchester panels and Comic-Con’s hahahahaha

*What a big bunch of shoes to jump in for this actor… how do you play Jeffrey Dean??? Hahahaha anyway, back to business

*soooo glad we’re covering man of letters and this will be their home base… it begs the question why didn’t John know about this in supernatural??? How was he not familiar with this man of letters base for him and the boys??? Does that get covered? Do we ever get closure on this? I feel like I didn’t pay enough attn to spn beczhse I’m feeling like John winchester from spn didn’t know about men of letters.

*don’t worry son… I know how to trap it awwwwww god bless John! So accepting of this whole demon situation I just like this energy, doesn’t even think twice just decides to be a demon hunter, what career????

*lubbock Texas ok ok ok we have flickering lights here we go! What demon is going to possess this woman???? Run lady run!!! Oh oops she wasn’t fast enough

* Mary drives a bad ass car and of course John is waiting by her car hahahaha oh we’re on a hunt!!!!!! Yay!!!!! Also adore that Mary is so stand off energy with John is in love. Mary is literally like please fuck off I don’t want to love you / like you energy and he’s very much golden retriever energy

*John hating his dad for keeping hunting away from him is so funny because he learnt about that and decided not to hide hunting from his kids… so weird

*oh we have an English accented chick

*PTSD John that’s so sad ‘I think I’m being haunted’ well ok… I love that they’re opening up to one another. I like that we’re seeing a heavier side of them as a pre couple. It’s clear they’re going to fall in love but it’ll be a slow burn - it’s also nice that John is likely going to have a few episodes where he’s dealing with the fall out of loosing his close mate

*i can’t get over the fact that Dean is so much like Mary in mannerisms and Sam so much like John in mannerism

*carlos hehehehehehehe ‘come on rookie.. learn something’ oh oh we are totally going to love Carlos ~johns first exorcism, well done john 😂 ‘jimmy, Janis, hahahahahaha wait is johns real name johnathan???? Excuse me????

*oh oh we officially are in Samuel’s hunting stop? He maps his hunts the same way that John did in season 1 of spn that’s interesting and slight nod

*carlos being ?bi is so great, so glad they are going down this route! Well done!!! How is the Winchester’s more progressive than spn???

*the English girl is definitely a great addition, she’s like the walking encyclopaedia, she’s giving fred from angel the series or willow from Buffy, the intelligent walking encyclopaedia that every Scooby gang needs

*☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️maggie… who the hell is Maggie???? Why does Mary think it’s her fault that whatever happened to Maggie happened???? Who is Maggie guys????

*carlos is my favourite character I just know it

*john is so caring, so sweet, such a darling ‘maybe we can be nervous together’ god bless him, imagine he was this sweet in the original series it’s so nice to see this beginning of him, the young version of him makes me appreciate and love the Jeffrey Dean Morgan version of him cause you just know there are many layers to this character 😭

*yes!!! Who is Maggie?!!!

* she’s a hunter like Mary, a vampire of course, a sister to Mary and Mary couldn’t save her and I’m emo, 18 years old and gone

*🥺Mary wants out

* back story time about Mary and how she wants to walk away :( how she’s so sad that her mum and dad put a knife in her hand ahhhh that’s so sad and that’s exactly what John did to their children 🥴🥴🥴🥴that’s so sad

*although we’ve already gone through that backstory in the original series it’s nice for them to cover this in this series so new viewers know what’s happening hahahaha and when and if they go down the route of spn they’ll understand the level of OUCH Mary felt when she saw her two babies these amazing hunters but so sad for herself and the life they could have had ugh I’m emo

* Mary is soooo in love it’s so cute!!! Her big smile at him makes me LAUGH!!! they just vibe so well together. Anyway we just jumped down a well? That is heavily guarded… oh my god wtf is that??? A loogaroo

*did John really cut his arm open for Mary to buy her enough time to get it out of there?? That cute sacrificial thing is such a winchester trait

*surely Carlos isn’t going to o get his ass beat this early in the fold????

*mary is kicking some sweet demon ass and John is fighting a dinosaur looking thing odd odd definitely weird ok he just cut off it’s head how very winchester of him

*side note mary kicked some demon ass but only threw John a knife? As if he could fend for himself the level of sureness she had in his abilities to fight the dinosaur

*oh! Mummy winchester owns a whole ass garage where she fixes cars???? Aww mum winchester wanted nothing more than to be like her dad and then she fell in love with john’s dad and ☠️☠️☠️☠️

*mum winchester literally just said ‘I knew I would do anything to keep you safe, when you have kids you’ll understand’ and I am crying big real fat tears

*wait who voiced john’s dad’s voice???

*no John don’t go down this road please ‘saving people, hunting things, I was born to do this’ ugh John please and also what happened to Johns mum? Did we ever deal with that? Was that covered in spn??? Also wish he said ‘saving people, hunting things, the family business’ 🫣

*lata, Samuel would be proud of you! You kicked some ass!

*ada confirming John looks like his dad and telling him how kind he was is so lovely esp. for John winchester because it’s clear that by the time we hit spn Johns so lonely and sad and seeing this bright and happy version of him with the weight of the world not on his shoulders ugh I’m crying again

*oh oh we are going on a road trip to savannah and that’s when Mary winchester gets heart eyes for John winchester 🥺

*acreada my man’s who r u and why u trying to end the world?????

*oh my god Jensen!!!!!! ‘Until then I will keep picking the music’ oh my god the fucking goose bumps call the police on me right now and the impala baby ugh perfect pilot!!!!

Do you find hiei cute or handsome, I know you may not like him based on looks but what kind of category will you put him in ? Some people might find him scary, normal or ugly looking compared to yukina but I think he's really cute and adorable might be because I love him lol, btw can I know reason why you like hiei ? If you don't mind.

Originally when I was watching the show when I was 10, I liked Hiei not necessarily because of his appearance. Like I came to like his appearance later and when I was 10 I thought he was the perfect guy for me and used to wish that I wouldn't grow taller so that I could be shorter than him and be his perfect girl. XD I was 10, so I look back at my child logic and just laugh cuz WTF.

But also honestly, the point in the series where I decided I liked Hiei was during the Ankoku Bujutsukai when Ruka came out to separate him and Genkai from the team because they were the strongest and she was already in her sexy nurse outfit and making the audience go wild, but then it got worse when she took the outfit off and she was just covered by vines. And while other characters and the audience made commentary on her revealing outfit, Hiei did not give a shit. It was the first time I saw a male character in any media I'd ever seen that did not trip over themselves over a woman or their body, and the Western media I had around me at that time all told me that men are basically thirsty dogs that chase women and don't really care about things like loyalty or genuinely wanting to be in a relationship or married. Husbands always complained about their wives and called them a ball and chain and would get tired of their wife and cheat on them for someone younger. It was the first time I'd seen any male character not care at all about what other media told me that guys care about, so I genuinely thought that Hiei is the kind of person that can be loyal and wouldn't cheat. Like he was cool in other ways, but I'm having an internal chicken or egg situation in my mind where I'm not sure if thinking Hiei was cool came before or after this revelation and me liking him, but I know for sure in my young mind I had a massive insecurity about that and fear of future relationships and that kind of representation in YYH assuaged some of my fears and gave me hope that I too could actually find someone that could be loyal and wouldn't care if another woman threw themselves at them. There's a lot of things cool about him for sure and he's drawn pretty handsome, but I think that scene was the most influential for me.

Daddy’s Struggles (m) | BBH

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Dad!Baek, domestic au, established relationship (duh), a slice of life, fluff, a lil smutty(!)

Warnings: some friskiness between mom and dad if you know what I mean, mentions of teenagers watching porn (I’m not promoting it, you guys lol), also this gets fluffin’ sweet get a bucket in advance

Word Count: ~2.2k

Summary: Baekhyun overhears your teenage daughter watching porn. You have to handle a small crisis.

Event: the BBH day @supermwritersnet​

© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.

Author’s Note: This… came out of nowhere:D I blame my dear beta @baekshoney​​ – we'd once discussed the idea of Baek being a teenager’s parent (in relation to a different story). Don’t we all love dilf Baek though? lol Anyways, this is a tiny glimpse into his future as a cute af father and husband <3 Let’s name him puppydad!Baek 😊 I hope this lifts your mood a little on a day like this!

On that note – happy birthday to our genius idol (aka mochi-cheeked hyperactive puppy), I wish that he stays healthy and happy and on the radar throughout the next 2 years (and forever)!! Don’t be too sad, guys, he’s hopefully going to finally lead a somewhat normal life for a bit 💞 Ok, I’ll let you get to it already~

A yawn.

You rubbed your tired eyes and dictated a reminder for tomorrow morning to your AI assistant. It was pretty late and you had your hands full all day with your kids. And while family time was always great, there hadn’t been a spare moment for you to tend to your own business. But two decades of dealing with your hyperactive yet loveable children (and husband) taught you to make the most out of what you got. So you were doing just that, organizing your errands and sorting important emails after everyone had scurried off to their rooms, and your husband — to the shower.

Baekhyun was quite exhausted himself, so you realized he must’ve gotten in the common bathroom by the time you exited the one in your bedroom. He did that sometimes when you locked the door out of habit. Not that he couldn’t come in, it was just… You used to scold him pretty badly for breaking into the bathroom. Picking locks wasn’t something you wanted your juniors to acquire as a habit. They had enough of their daddy’s traits as it was.

The thought made you chuckle. Your eldest son had already outgrown his father by at least five and a half – gotta be precise here! – centimeters (which made daddy very proud, but also a teeny tiny bit jealous). Despite his height, which, you were sure, was going to break the golden 180cm in the next few months, your boy’s build was exactly the same as Baekhyun’s. His shoulders were broad, his hips wide, and his waist was naturally narrow. Legs long and lean, and eyes always mischievous. He was eighteen and already seemed more like Baekhyun’s best friend rather than his child. Being both the hyung and the oppa of the household, he was the most mature out of the bunch, and always a big help to his parents.

Your middle child, your precious daughter, resembled you a lot. Her wavy hair and her big eyes with the longest eyelashes either of you’d ever witnessed. Seriously, that was the first thing Baekhyun’s friends had commented on when they came by to meet your new baby. ‘Is this even normal? Can she see through those? That’s one pretty baby!’ She was even prettier now, at her sweet sixteen, cheeks still a bit chubby, which – just as her button nose – were definitely an homage to her dad. Not to mention her hands that were even more delicate and exquisite than his.

The youngest, your six-year-old son, was a blessing. You weren’t planning to have more children after the first two until you suddenly thought… why not? Cannot say that you weren’t a little bit under the influence at the time. It was one of those rare weekends when your kids had a sleepover at their grandparents’, so you had the whole house to yourself. Deciding to have a domestic date and enjoy shameless daytime drinking, you indulged in a whole glass of wine before both of you were tipsy and giggling, then you added one more to the mix. At that point, all kinds of crazy things were brought up.

‘We should do this more often…’ You informed your partner. ‘This is exciting! We can walk around naked the way we used to before we had teenagers in the house!’

‘I miss our naked Saturdays…’ Baekhyun whined, almost spilling his wine while trying to sip it gracefully. ‘Now I barely even see you naked with your shower locking obsession!’

Pursing your lips, you dismissed his complaint.

‘After that incident… You cannot blame me for my caution.’

The incident was, well, your son needing to use the bathroom while his sister was taking too long and heading to the one in your bedroom. He nearly walked in on… an adult scene.

‘He didn’t even see anything, Y/N-ah,’ your husband grumbled, but you waved him off, downing your drink as if it was a shot of tequila rather than a glass of wine.

‘I don’t see a problem though,’ he blinked at you, not following. ‘We’re alone. Why not… See each other naked again?’

‘Right. We can also- Y/N-ah!’

‘What?’ You eyed his suddenly enthusiastic form with nothing but suspicion.

‘We can create a distraction!’

‘Hm?’

‘A distraction for them. So that they’d be busy with something else while we’re away.’

‘Hmm?’ You still couldn’t locate the source of his excitement.

‘Lemme show you,’ he slurred, tugging on your wrist to get you up and dragging you to the bedroom.

Let’s have another baby – that was his brilliant idea. Had you both not been such poor drinkers, one of you would’ve thought this through.

Nevertheless, you were glad that you didn’t. Because your little angel, who could sometimes be more of a tiny demon, to be frank, was the single sweetest thing to ever exist on planet Earth. He had his entire family wrapped around his little finger, and you – most of all. How could anyone blame you? That troublemaker was the spitting image of his dad and had a personality to match — just as playful and affectionate.

The chill spring breeze from the window licked at the bare skin of your arm, causing you to shiver slightly, coming back from the land of reminiscing. You stretched on the bed, noticing how protruding your nipples became from the cold even while hidden by the gentle fabric of your nightgown. Pulling the covers up, you grunted under your breath, wondering what was taking Baekhyun so long.

Just as you did, the door cracked open, and your husband sauntered into the room.

‘Ah finally, I thought I needed to go rescue you again,’ you chuckled.

That had happened before. He once used the common bathroom to shower before bed and ended up captured by your daughter, who was around six or seven at the time, in the hallway. She then demanded cuddles, knowing that her father was too weak to turn his precious girl down and send her back to bed. You found them both huddled up asleep on the couch, with your husband’s head tilted dangerously to the side. Terrible sleeping postures always had consequences, so you spared him the agony of the next morning, waking him up mercifully and helping to get your little girl to her bed. This was only one of many occasions – Baekhyun was a softie.

This time, however, he was a bit stupefied.

He didn’t react to your remark and seemed like he was going on autopilot when he came closer and sat on the bed.

You lifted the covers, inviting him to join you, and he followed your lead, still staring at the wall across the room.

‘Yeobo,’ you called, getting slightly alarmed. ‘Are you okay?’

He blinked, the stupor breaking, and looked at you with astounded eyes.

‘I- I think,’ he began, making you shift to face him properly. ‘I think I just overheard our daughter watching porn!’

His voice lowered to a whisper by the end of that sentence.

‘Oh my god,’ you whispered back. ‘How do you figure?’

‘I was walking down the hallway, and I thought I heard something from her room. I didn’t fully register what it was, but now that it processed… It was definitely porn!’

The signs of distress on his face almost caused you to break down in a fit of laughter. You held it in with all you got. Fathers and daughters, the eternal struggle.

‘First of all, ew. Aren’t you even a little bit ashamed to be eavesdropping on your kids like that?’ You didn’t let him protest. ‘Also, how do you even know it was porn, you know she sometimes mumbles and whimpers in her sleep. Like someone else we know…’

Giving him a pointed look, you leaned over his chest to turn the lights to the lowest mode, leaving the room dimly lit. It was always effective when you wanted to help him relax.

‘I wasn’t ea- And you think I can’t tell what porn sounds like? There are some generic… sounds. That give it away.’

‘When was the last time you watched it?’ You murmured, eyeing him curiously.

Of all people, you knew best how short his attention span was. Sometimes it could work to your advantage. Like right now, when you needed to de-escalate this before you could reason with him.

‘I- wh- I don’t know, probably when you were pregnant,’ he recalled. ‘The third one was somehow the toughest on me. You looked way too attractive for a heavily pregnant lady, let me tell you.’

‘Heavily pregnant??’ You scoffed, softening right after. ‘Well, you have a point, he was pretty huge. I swear, if he doesn’t grow up to be taller than Chanyeol, I’d be offended. That boy’s giant head prolonged my healing by at least a month.’

Baekhyun sighed and looked up at the ceiling, thinking back to that time.

‘He was the only one who caused you to tear, right?’

‘Yeah. Which is weird, considering that he was my third one. Ah well, I guess I’m not getting any younger…’

‘Aren’t you though? I’m constantly being asked about my pretty young wife,’ Baekhyun smiled at you charmingly. ‘And you only became prettier after the third pregnancy. I say it’s the hormones.’

Your cunning little plan was working. He was incredibly easy to distract.

‘Tell me the truth, was it the boobs? Or my butt? I did gain the most weight with the little daredevil, that’s for sure.’

‘It was all of you. You always looked so sexy when pregnant, I just wanted to have you all to myself,’ he cooed at you. ‘To feed you handpicked strawberries. And smother you with kisses. My beautiful young wife.’

At some point during this conversation, you shuffled closer to each other, now cuddled up snugly on the bed. Your finger slowly traced abstract patterns on his chest, happily exploiting the access to his skin where his pajama shirt was unbuttoned.

‘Ah, you’re just saying that to get under my nightgown,’ you batted your eyelashes at him, and he shook his head.

‘Maybe a little, but that’s true. And it’s not surprising that people are noticing – you are younger than me.’

‘A couple of years is nothing at our age,’ you murmured, bending your knee and moving your leg slightly up his to get cozy.

‘Well, you know what people say… Small kids make parents younger. Wanna have another one?’ He nudged you gently and laughed at the dirty look you gave him.

‘Yeobo- please don’t make jokes like this. I’d rather look for other elixirs of youth than go through that entire ordeal again.’

You knew that he was kidding, but the thought made you shiver.

‘I know, honey, I know. Like I said, you’re not in need of any elixirs.’

At this you relaxed, melting into his shoulder, and guiding his arm to wrap around you, warming your exposed shoulders.

‘Well, Mr Byun, same to you. Still as charming as two decades ago.’

‘Hey, I’d like to think that I’m more charming now. The experience and all.’

‘Who helped you gain all that experience though?’ You poked him lightly, and a low chesty laugh escaped his lips.

‘Of course, it was my one and only, my young, and beautiful, and smart and sexy little wife,’ he punctuated each compliment with a chaste kiss to your cheeks, nose, lips, and neck.

You squirmed in his arms.

‘Ah, you make a woman go mad,’ you purred into his lips mockingly.

He snickered softly, ready to lean in, but then stopped abruptly.

‘Wait a second- What about-’

‘Baekhyun…’ You murmured as he fussed on the bed.

‘I should probably go in there, and-’

‘And what? Embarrass your daughter?’ You held him down. ‘She’s sixteen, honey, it’s just the hormones. We’ve both been there. Let her be.’ You nuzzled his neck, pressing your lips to his sensitive skin lazily.

His mind was growing cloudy again since your hand was now caressing his inner thigh foxily. He’d probably realized what you were doing by now, but you were right, so he allowed you to sway him into giving the idea of an immediate intervention up.

‘Besides, I’m sure you wouldn’t be nearly as appalled if that was our eldest,’ you scoffed and added in an exaggerated tone. ‘Never took you for a sexist.’

‘But- he’s eighteen, and she- she’s my little girl…’ He mumbled in a small voice, hazed further by your not-so-subtle seduction. ‘I can’t let her- watch that-’

‘Don’t worry, yeobo,’ you whispered soothingly in his ear, slipping your hand into his loose pants. ‘I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Without you. No need to traumatize the poor girl, that’s how daddy issues develop.’

‘You should know,’ he bit back meekly, sighing when you finally wrapped your fingers around his semi-hard length.

‘The sass! It’s almost like you still got it, Mr Byun. Care to impress that young wife of yours?’

‘I sure will, you cunning woman,’ he growled playfully, completely giving in to it and attacking your laughing mouth as he lifted the covers over your head.

A/N: Thank you for reading! As usual, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments/ asks, and if you’re new – check out my Masterlist ^^

Our little corner of the garden. 

based on a request miss Puppy submitted that i was so in love with, i changed it a bit but its mostly of the request lol 

the request:  Imagine y/n is being forced into an arranged married to better her fathers company but obviously she hates the idea but she loves her dad so she agrees. Oikawa on the other hand refuses to let the love of his life go so with the help of Iwa Oikawa got a suit and crash y/n’s wedding. It was right before the bride had to walk. Y/N standing in her bridal suite wearing her beautiful and expensive wedding dress trying not to pass out when Oikawa walked in “wow, don’t you look gorgeous” “Tooru!? What are you doing here!?” Oikawa explains how much he loves her and he can take care of her and she can live her life free of unfair responsibilities. Oikawa asks y/n to run away with him to Argentina to marry him. Y/n ends up agreeing and they run out of the chapel giggling hand in hand while a cheering Iwa is in the drivers seat of the love birds getaway car and yes please I thought that would be so cute 🥺🥺🥺-✨Puppy🤩

relationship: Oikawa Tooru x reader, slight Atsumu x reader, and iwaizumi hajime is mentioned <3

genre: angst with a happy ending 

synopsis: the moment he had lead you into the small corner of the garden your heart was his. 

words: 2.4k 

notes:i turned it into a royal AU because it adds more flare.  i shed more than a few tears while writing this and it has to be my favorite thing I’ve ever published. and that's saying a lot. i hope you enjoy it as much as i do <3

also may or may not be influenced by speak now by taylor swift

Since you could remember there have been two constants in your life.

The first was a bubbly bright-eyed boy Oikawa Tooru.

You had both met on the eve of your seventh birthday, a day you dreaded. Your mother used any and all family events to invite every prominent family in the kingdom for a night of celebration. A night you couldn't participate in due to your age; an answer to a question that you hated to hear.

In your six-year-old mind, the best way to handle your anger was to run to the garden and hide for as long as you could humanly manage. You flung the most desolate corner and squatted right down, head between your knees.

You sat there for what felt like hours until a small pat on your back had you reeling your head to look at who dared to interrupt your pity-party. No one should know where you went and if they did they should know better than to touch you.

But turning and seeing the warmest brown eyes in the world was not what you had expected. The setting sun behind his tufts of chocolate brown hair made him look like he had a halo. Maybe your nights of prayer had worked, god had sent you an angel.

“Now Missy princess, I ain’t a professional but sittin’ like that can't be nice. ‘Cmon up missy girl!”

You aren't sure if you believed his words or if you were so mesmerized by him that you locked hands and let him pull you up revealing the two-inch difference in your height. A difference that he didn't let go of for the rest of the night.

He brought you to a small crevice in the high-leaved walls of your family's garden, settling you down he told you his name: Oikawa Tooru and that he lived in the servants quarters with his mother.

Along with that, you learned of his interest in catching a real-life alien, by the time the sun had fully settled you could hear your name called from the pathway Oikawa had led you down hours before, they had found you, it was time to go.

Oikawa led you back down the track making you promise to come back the next day to form a plan that no alien could avoid. And so every afternoon into the evening at dinner was spent telling stories and making contraptions that you were sure no alien could averse to.

You couldn't count how many times your childhood rebellion had got you in trouble with your more than disappointed parents. Not even their cliche speeches about being of a high standard and not meddling with peasants were able to deter you from seeing him.

One thing was for certain: Oikawa Tooru became your first friend.

The second constant was the fact you would never be able to have your own future.

You learned this at five years old when your mother began to groom you into the perfect bride she expected you to be. Managing to convince you to finally start taking lessons at age 15 by mentioning how late everything already was.

You liked to pretend the etiquette lessons are just because your mother wanted you to act like a lady. But the back of your mind always reminded you it was because she wanted you to be a great wife. She didn't care if you could hold a teacup properly, she cared if anyone else noticed.

You used your speech classes to strengthen your voice for when Oikawa asked you to sing for him when he wanted to sleep. Not because you needed to make speeches when you are crowned queen. It didn't matter that you were a complimented orator, you cared that in his daily letter to you he complimented how soft your voice was as it lulled him to sleep.  

Your favorite was the dance lessons, the same ones where you would run to see Tooru in your secluded corner of the garden and teach him everything you learned. You'd spend hours telling him the ‘proper’ way to place his foot as he laughs at you about how up-tight you sound. Of course, he always listens, continuing to twirl you around with the utmost pristine.

These dances made you think about the ever-growing difference in height the two of you shared, no longer were you two inches taller than the brown-haired boy. Now the small boy you once knew towered over you, and he constantly reminded you of it.

“Aw! y/n you look so tiny from here!” he laughed as he held you from the waist and led you in a waltz that he was making up as the music went on. Emphasizing his point by placing a palm on your head ruffling your hair and once again laughing as your cheeks puffed out.

His voice was no longer high-pitched and no longer cracked when he whined about how annoying your mother was being. His deep voice lingered in your mind as you laid away in your bed after he dropped you off hours before, like a whisper in the night.

Nothing else had changed about him, his eyes were still the warmest and lightest you've ever seen and his hair was still just as soft as it looked. He still smiled like the world was at his feet and he still conspired with you about the aliens that WERE coming.

He was still your Tooru. Your Toru had grown so he could tilt your chin to look him in the eye. Your Tooruthat teased you by whispering improper things during gatherings, the same whispers that send chills down your spine. Your Tooru, whose hands grab your waist and leave ghostly touches on you for weeks, the same hands that envelop you and drag you to the gardens.

Your Tooru that you’ve been in love with since you met in the evening in your garden. The same love you would never indulge.

A love that you have been preparing to lose yet at the same time you would never release.  

At 17 you had received the news you had blocked out of your life: your parents had found you a suitable husband. You were sure he was wonderful, but the idea repulsed you.

And it seemed to repulse Tooru even more. He had gone silent the second you came to him teary-eyed, spouting about how you would never be free again. For hours he held your shaking form telling you he would make sure you were happy no matter what.

Beginning the next day Oikawa tried to spend every waking moment by your side, running through the halls, late-night cooking when neither of you could sleep, and even taking your parent's crowns and pretending you were dancing at both of your coronations.

Weeks upon weeks you spent basking in each other's company doing everything to ignore the impending doom you rapidly approached. And finally, your sphere of bliss with Tooru was broken when your first meeting with your future husband was announced.

Atsumu Miya was wonderful. He was handsome and funny, knew how to converse, and your parents seemed to thoroughly enjoy his presence. And he was extremely nice to you, making you feel as if you’d known him your whole life.

But one thing had you entirely consumed the whole visit: Atsumu Miya was not Oikawa Tooru. Not in the slightest.

How was it possible they had the same brown eyes but Tooru’s were so much brighter and they looked at you like you were the entire world. How is it that Atsumu looked at you like everyone else? he didn't make you feel special.

Atsumu’s hair was not the soft brown you were accustomed to, his hair was colored an ugly yellow that you couldn't tell if your opinion was biased or you were beginning to hate the color.

Atsumu’s smile was not the warm, sweet tilt of Tooru’s lips, instead, it was a tight, flirty smirk that unsettled you to the core. Atsumu didn't have the cute tilt of Tooru’s eyes when he smiled.

He was simply not Tooru. And that would simply not do.

Somewhere in your mind, you knew that no one could replace Tooru. You were all his no matter who you were set to marry.

And that fact didn't help when he volunteered to help choose flowers. It was hard to swallow when he chose napkins and helped with the centerpieces. You wanted to scream when he asked if he could cake taste with you. You wanted to run and never come back when he sat and watched you try on the hand-tailored dress for your big day.  

You held on to the delusion that you and Tooru were planning your own wedding, not you and another man who would never hold a place in your heart. That you and he were baking a cake that you and he would cut the next day, then go to a beautiful island and live in domestic bliss for the rest of your natural lives, maybe to meet in the next.

The hardest to swallow was the visit to the corner of the garden the night before you give up your freedom. How he pulled you into his embrace asking if the two of you could practice your first dance with Atsumu, “just to practice” he reminds.

“I can't believe you're getting married” he mused while rearranging his hands to the middle of your waist. Rocking you back and forth as you hugged your arms around his back. “Do you remember the first time we came to this spot? You were pouting about your birthday, and me, the amazing Oikawa Tooru, was the only one who could help you.”

He kept you tucked into his chest as he continued to list all of the most important memories the two of you shared in your corner of the garden.

“This really is our corner Tooru.”

“Yeah…. It really is, do you mind if I add another memory to our corner?”

He kissed you right there, holding on to whatever he could of your love.

Oikawa Tooru was not a prince.

That fact haunted him since that eve of your seventh birthday. He was the son of a barmaid who gained work doing labor in the castle for food and a place to stay. Not someone whom the crowned princess should associate with.

And the head knight in training thought exactly that, Iwaizumi Hajime was his closest confidant since coming to the country of Aoba, his best friend. And also the grounder of all of Tooru’s ridiculous rambling about spending the rest of his life catching aliens with you.

Oikawa has to give it to him, Iwaizumi did a good job making sure he didn’t do anything too stupid. Unfortunately, he couldn't talk him out of meeting you one last time before he’d probably never see you again.

He held you in his arms one last time, telling you all of his favorite memories he held so dearly, back when you had all the time in the world. Back when the two of you were invincible.

Back to when he wished he just grabbed you and told you everything you made him feel, all the times he just wanted to scream how much he loved you.

He wasn't a prince in the eyes of everyone else, but he didn't need to be when he had you.

Oikawa Tooru was not a prince, but when had that mattered to him anyway?

Before you could fully wake, you were being pulled in a thousand different directions for last-minute dress fittings and checking the venue a final time before being whisked away for someone to do your hair.

You didn't even realize what was happening until you were being once more uprooted and told to wait in a small fitting room. For what felt like hours you waited, thinking about what your new, presumably miserable, life would be like.

The two women helping you in your dress were far more excited than you were, a lump had formed in your throat and if they didn't leave you alone and stop talking about your soon-to-be husband, you were going to be sick.

You looked beautiful, whoever did your hair and makeup did wonderfully. You looked like a bride. Maybe you could get through this if you closed your eyes and pretend it was Tooru and not the blonde who was getting ready across the hall somewhere.

You were given your bouquet and a long veil was placed on your head, it was finally time. No more dancing in the garden or making traps for the pesky aliens. No more Oikawa Tooru.

Somewhere in your thoughts, you missed when the door opened and a hand was placed on your back.

Turning over your shoulder to see the same brown eyes that you have for the past eleven years and the same soft brown hair you've braided and run your hands through. It wasn't the sun but the light in the room as you looked up at him made it look like he had a halo. God really had sent you an angel.

“Now missy, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be happy on your wedding day.”

You couldn't think of anything but the way he was smiling at you, the same smile he had while leading you down the path all those years ago. The same one who was leading you out of the room to a side exit door,

“And I've been doing some thinking, I can't just let the woman I love go and marry someone else just like that. Especially not to come half-ass wanna be casanova!”

He was lifting the veil off your face, wiping away the flood of tears coming down your cheeks as you brought your hand up to help him with his.

“So, princess y/n l/n, would you follow me to make some more memories?”

“Oh, I'd follow you to the ends of the earth Prince Oikawa Tooru.”

Hiiii, i was wondering if i could request some vlad king and gang orca taking care of their s/o pets. Like if the reader was out of town and asked them to take care of their dogs👉👈 i feel like vlad is such a good doggy dad that the dogs play together and i feel like gang orca would be lost but doing his best and if he was taking care of a cat i like to think it would love being around him because cats love fish and he would just always have his s/o cat cuddling on his lap. Im sorry for ranting lol i love your work you're doing great💕

awwehehe this is so cute since you mentioned dogs for vlad and cats for kugo that's what i went with! also indulged myself and included kugo/ jiro/shoji content bc that seems like such a GOOD FUNNY AND WHOLESOME trio and i wanted more content than we got smh 

Sekijiro Kan/Vlad King: "Hey Sek, I need a huge favor.” You look up from your phone at the taller man who is currently scrunched into the corner of his couch scrutinizing a piece of paper with really terrible handwriting on it.  “Sounds dangerous.” He replies without looking up and you snort dropping to the cushion beside him.  “Only a little, but I think you’re good for it.”  “Alright then, so what’s the favor?” His eyes flick up to you. “I need to go visit a friend out of town.” You sigh, “she had a baby last month, I used to work with her husband and she asked if I wanted to spend some time back home with her for her birthday next week, I should be about five days.” You rest your hands on his knees, “so while I’m out there..would you mind watching Kilo for me? I hate to leave him behind but It’d be a pain to travel so far with him I know he hates trains.”  “That’s a huge favor?” He raises an eyebrow at you, “sure I can watch him. I bet they’ll get along fine.” He glances at his own dog curled up under a chair.  “But only If you can figure out what the hell Monoma tried to write here.”  For all intents and purposes, Kilo was a good dog, a little stupid, but a good dog nonetheless. To be honest, he’s really honored you trust him with the task, you’re the only person he’s met that seems to love your own dog as much as he loves his. Plus it also meant that Kilo had to like him a fair bit which was also a relief, as a dog owner he knew any potential partner was only as compatible with him as they were with his dog, and his dog loved you, he was sure you felt the same way, any partner that Kilo didn’t get along with would be impossible for you to get along with, he found it more than a little reassuring that Kilo seemed to enjoy his company. Past all that, and maybe even most important this was a perfect opportunity to introduce the two dogs. He was sure it was no secret to you but this wasn’t exactly a casual fling, with the way things were going it felt pretty inevitable that he’d ask if you wanted to move in together; but if the two didn’t get along well then..that’d be an issue. Though he was sure if things got tested out now you’d have some time to at least try to get the dogs to be comfortable with each other or hopefully think of some sort of workaround. In his eyes, this was a blessing for him as much as it was a favor to you.  “Are you sure you don’t mind keeping Kilo at your place?” Sekijiro is slightly embarrassed to say how early he arrived at this park, he wanted to tire his own dog out before introducing the pair, he’d advised you to do the same so you were walking to the park, you'd called him on your way.  “Of course I don’t mind babe.” He tosses a ball from his seat on the bench and watches his pudgy bulldog trot over to it, “it’ll be easier this way, right?”  “Yeah that’s true, I just don’t want Kilo wrecking any of your stuff, he always means well but he gets into trouble sometimes-”  “Don’t worry about it, he’ll be a model student by the time you get back.” He hears you laugh into the receiver at that. “I don’t doubt that, I’m almost there, I’ll see you in a few okay?”  “Yeah sure thing, can’t wait.” You huff out another laugh at him before hanging up.  “Sekijiro!” You chirp brightly at the sight of the man, he’s too busy taking you in to respond. Kilo’s trotting a foot or so in front of you on his leash, that old joke about dogs looking reminiscent of their owners was certainly true in your case, you both looked delighted to see him and beyond that, you were practically glowing... Maybe he just had a thing for people who were good with animals.  “Hey Sek?” You lean down in front of him.  “Hey! He welcomes Kilo between his knees, the mixed breed was a bit larger than his dog who was currently bounding back to him with a ball and sufficient slobber hanging from his mouth, the size difference in mind though Kilo was a hell of a lot less bulky, he was practically streamlined, Sekijiro had seen how fast the dog could run with his own eyes. He could see why you took so much pride in the dog, he was definitely beautiful his coat was long, wavy, and shiny and he had big blue eyes and admittedly the cutest pink nose and spotted tongue Sekijiro had ever seen.  “Thanks so much again for doing this I really-” An excited bark pulls your attention downwards, “look who it is!” You sing, crouching down to pet the panting dog, “you sure look tired. Sekijiro is working you too hard.” You frown at him as he hops up to rest his front paws on your thighs. “Don’t be ridiculous.” Sekijiro laughs, “but he is worn out, I guess Kilo is too though.” Kilo’s head is on his knee, the larger dog is panting too.  They seem to notice each other, and approach with a lazy curiosity. They sniff around each other for a bit but after that return to their respective activities, seemingly unbothered by each other and the proximity of the other dog to their owner. Kilo didn’t mind your cooing at Vlad’s dog who didn’t seem to mind Kilo’s head in his owner's lap. With that little bit of reassurance, you hand him Kilo’s leash and a bag of his stuff; food dish, some toys and treats and the like, and then you part ways after promising to call him when you get to your home town safely.  All in all the coming days are pretty uneventful, Kilo joins them on their daily walks, eats at the same time with no trouble, finds a comfortable place to sleep each night.  “Is Kilo alright?” Your voice is nervous in the receiver.  “He’s better than babe, seriously they’re getting along great.”  “God that’s such a relief.” You sigh, “the pictures you’ve sent are cute..gosh I miss him.” You pout a little. “Gee I miss you too babe.” He mutters it with a playful edge to his voice and you gasp,  “I was going to say I miss you too but forget it!”  “don’t be mean!” He complains back, “I was kidding! And anyway I miss you. How’s it been out there?”  You go off on your usual tangents before ending up back at square one.  “Oh! I called you for a reason actually!” You remember, “I’ll be a little bit late getting back on Sunday, one of the trains is going to be down so I’m taking a later one, I should be back around midnight now would you mind-”  “Of course not babe, I’ll get you from the station so-”  “No no! It’s okay you’ve already done so much that’s not what I was going to ask! I just wanted to be sure you wouldn’t mind keeping Kilo around for the extra time...I can get a taxi, seriously don’t wait up for me!”  “Well just come to my place when you get back right?”  “I wouldn’t wanna wake you up-”  “It’s been way too long since I saw you last, so I don’t mind, if you won’t let me pick you up from the station at least come right here.”  “You’re convincing.” You laugh a little, embarrassment heating up your face, “I guess that’s fine with me then...” A distant sounding voice pulls you away from the receiver, “Sek I have to go, I’ll call you again soon though!”  “Don’t worry about anything babe.” He reassures you as you hang up.  There is one minor spat over a rope toy but it’s resolved easily enough and the pair seem to get on swimmingly after that, even sharing a couch cushion and occasionally resting their heads on each other, they become incredibly fast friends, which is probably the biggest relief on the planet to Sekijiro. Watching the two of them play tug of war in his living room or witnessing their schemes to get leftovers off the counter on Thursday night essentially cement his vision of a future with you.  If you were being totally honest it was embarrassing how attractive you found Sekijiro getting along with your dog to be, you’d never got the obsession of handsome guys holding cute babies but seeing some of the photos he’d sent to you over the almost 6 days you were gone made butterflies crop up in your stomach the likes of which you’d only felt when he was actively trying to fluster you...but this seemed totally unintentional. To say you were incredibly eager to go home and see him (jump his bones) felt like an understatement. It’s past midnight when you get back and the place is mostly dark, you see a vaguely bulldog shaped blob partially under a blanket on the couch, but the snoring it emits gives away it’s identity easily. You leave your bag at the door and venture into the apartment, poking your nose into the bedroom.  Of course, Sekijiro is there, dead asleep on his back, and who’s with him but Kilo, his head resting on the blood hero’s chest one of his hands resting on top of it.  “Oh Vlad-” You coo, you practically sing it at him.  “Wha-whatsitwhat-” He rubs his face as he picks his head up, “oh, hey welcome back ‘s good to see you, missed you-”  “You’re so sweet-” You’re already at the side of his bed, leaning down and kissing him.  “What’s-” Sekijiro takes a minute to process everything before he realizes it’s Kilo’s head on his chest making you act like this.  “Oh no way, he’s been a total angel-”  “I’m so glad he likes you so much-” You murmur it between kisses, to his lips and various other spots on his cheeks and jaw, “you guys are adorable together.”  “I’m glad you think so-” He cuts himself off with a yawn and turns into your lips, kissing you again before speaking, “you weren’t kidding about that late train huh? It’s almost 1 AM, you must be exhausted, there’s plenty of room for you in here so come on.” 

Kugo Sakamata/Gang Orca: “Hey, Kugo...” You approach him from behind and wrap your arms around his shoulders, leaning against the back of the chair he’s sat in.  “Yes?” One hand comes up to cover your forearm the other stays dutifully at work.  “You love me, right?” You rest your head against his and he pricks up at the inquisition.  “Of course I do, why would you ask a question like that? Is something wrong?”  The way his hand subtly squeezes your arm isn’t lost on you.  “Hmm..no nothing's wrong.” You lean into him and close your eyes as he sighs good-naturedly. “Then what? Did you just want to hear me say it?” He leans back into you, “I guess I could entertain that...” His thumb swipes a long stroke over the skin of your forearm, “I love you, dear.” He can feel you prickle up at that behind him. “I love you too Kugo.” You squeeze him tighter and he huffs out a quiet laugh. “I’m glad to hear it. Now is that all you needed?” He puts his pen down to bring his other hand up to your arms, “I’m a bit busy. You’re welcome to stay there if you like though I just need to finish some paperwork and make a few phone calls. After that, we can do whatever you like for the night.”  “Well, now that you mention it there was just one more thing. I’ll be fast I promise.” Your hand slides underneath his lapel and into his jacket.  “Don’t worry I can make a bit of time for you then, what’s the matter?” You make eye contact with him through his darkened computer screen.  “My boss invited me to this big conference next week, it’s a pretty great opportunity and I could meet some important people..” You explain, biting your lip, “it could be really good for me to branch out even she thinks so, and getting some more experience will be great, and it’s pretty close to my hometown so I figured I'd stop in and see some old friends after I got done..It’d be about 5 or so days and I’d really like to go.” You sigh and he seems more than a little confused based on his reflection.   “That does sound like a great opportunity for you, you’re right..what’s the problem then? Do you need advice about something?” His confusion doesn’t quell even as you kiss his temple. “I probably will later but for now the problem is Luna.” “Your cat?” Kugo piques, “why is she a problem?”  You sigh, “if I’m not around no one will be there to feed her and make sure she stays out of trouble.”  “Oh is that it? That’s no problem at all dear, I can look after her for you. Is that what you were going to ask me?”  “You don’t mind?” You perk up, “I don’t want to trouble you...and I know I could just as easily leave a key under my mat and have a neighbor do it but I trust you so much more and-”  “It’s no trouble, really.” Kugo laughs a little, "I pass by your apartment all the time on patrols, I’m sure the interns won't mind if I make a stop and head up to check on her every now and again.”  “Oh! You can totally bring them up if they like cats!” He laughs at that too.  “Was that all?”  “Mhm.” You nod and use the motion to nestle into him a bit, “Thank you Kugo.”  ”It’s really my pleasure. Leave it to me, alright?”  All things considered, Kugo’s also pretty honored to be trusted with the task of watching your pet cat, he knows how much you love and worry about her, you dote on her all the time, and if the copious amount of photos you send him of her say anything she’s definitely your pride and joy. For the most part, you spent the bulk of your time with Kugo at his own home, due largely to the fact that he was larger than average and he existed a fair bit more comfortably there, but he paid you visits in your apartment from time to time and had met the cat, she seemed to like him plenty which was a relief as well.  You stop at Kugo’s before you leave and give him a list of things to double-check when he stops in, though you reassure him that there shouldn’t be any problems, Luna was pretty independent and mellow she didn’t like going outside so he didn’t have to worry about her escaping or anything like that. He tries to stop in at least 3 times a day, before, during, and after patrols, he knows that’s probably overkill, you spend all day at work and have never had an issue but he hates the idea of something happening to the feline on his watch. Plus even if he wouldn’t readily admit it he saw this as a perfect time to get on the cat's good side, you said she already loved him but he wasn’t convinced. He knew how much you loved her and any vision of your future that he had always featured the mellow feline so in his mind it was imperative they got on well. On top of that, he was glad you trusted him with something as small and delicate as Luna, she fits pretty comfortably in his hand and was as fragile as she was petit, but you never seemed off-put by the idea of him holding her or petting her, in fact, you encouraged it. The way you even wanted him near her when you weren’t around to supervise put him at ease about his strength and size, he always worried about breaking delicate things, but that wasn’t a worry you seemed to echo.  “Is something going on in that building?”  Shoji looks up at your complex as he pauses by it, “you’re stopping here a lot since yesterday.”  “Huh? Oh. Actually no... well nothing of importance to you. I’m...catsitting.” Jiro holds her breath the hold in the laugh, “Catsitting?”   “Yes...my partner is away at a work conference, the cat in question is theirs.” Kugo nods, “if you like cats you can come up and meet her, she’s actually quite friendly.”   Kugo was pretty used to Luna at this juncture, but whenever other people met her it was easy to see why you were so proud of her, she was quite the stunning cat, a long dark grey and black coat with big green eyes and a swishing tail, her paws were colored as if she was wearing boots.  “Wow...she’s really pretty, I’ve never seen a cat like this.” Jiro was crouched on the ground, stroking her neck.  “I was surprised too.” Kugo confesses, “they found her in a box on the side of the road about a year before we met. She was only a kitten then. Her name’s Luna.”  She seemed to like the pair equally alternating between them, rubbing against their legs and shuffling her head into their palms.  “She is very friendly.” Shoji remarks as she purrs at him, attempting to climb into his lap.  “She’s good at getting into trouble, but she usually means well. You can stay with her for a minute.” He sets off to double-check the usual; food, water, litterbox, the loose window that she’s always wiggling open despite having no desire to climb out of it, he waters a few plants and straightens up anything she knocked over as well. When he returns she's overturned on Shoji’s lap.  “You’re getting along well.” He swipes a pillow she’d knocked over up and replaces it on the couch.  “She’s really sweet!” Jiro is scratching her stomach. “I’m glad to hear it.”   “Hey..sorry if this is too personal or whatever but I didn’t know you were.. dating someone... We didn’t snoop or anything though!” She swears, holding both hands up, the cat looks disgruntled at the loss of attention.  “It’s alright I trust you.” Kugo waves her off, “Luna looks too comfortable anyways, you’ve clearly been petting her this whole time.” He adds with a small chuckle. At the sound of her name, she rolls over and winds around his feet, circling through his ankles and pawing at his pants until he lifts her up.  “To answer you though yes I am seeing someone.” He holds Luna with one hand, his ring and middle finger scratching the patch of grey fur on her chest.  “Are they a hero too?” She wonders, straightening up.  “No...no they’re not, I’m not very public about this sort of thing.”  Shoji contemplates that, “they have a nice apartment.”  “That is true, it’s a good job, and they do have a pretty keen eye for decorating” He agrees, looking around amicably.  “Have you guys been together for a long time?” Jiro blurts out before feeling color float up to her cheeks, “sorry I don’t mean to be rude... I just never pictured you like this I guess I’m curious-”  “It’s okay, most people don’t, and yes, we’ve been together a while now.” Kugo raises a hand to calm her, “but like I said before I’m not very public about things like this which is why you wouldn’t have heard..though either way, even when we do go out together... most people don’t assume I do that sort of thing, and to be frank, we aren’t the most...visually compatible pair..” He says that with a distinct fondness in his voice and then continues, “like you said, you don’t really picture me in this sort of light, most people don’t so hero gossip tabloids tend to leave me alone for the most part, I get a fair bit of freedom when it comes to this sort of thing because of that. There are probably plenty of photos of us together out there, though people usually assume they’re my manager or a secretary or just a friend.” Luna is purring loudly in his hand, her body largely slack against his chest. He walks her over to the couch and sets her down, which she warbles angrily at, “to be honest though I prefer it this way. I’m a private person.”  “That makes sense...well, their cat sure likes you.” Shoji points and Kugo chuckles.  “I’m fond of her myself.” Kugo admits, “everything is as it should be here so we can head out again, sorry for the tangent.” He scratches Luna’s neck and sighs, “as for you I’ll be back tonight. So try to behave until then, for my sake alright?”  Jiro tries not to laugh at the sight. “I didn’t think you’d actually bring them up! Did they like her?”  You sound delighted about it over the phone that night.  “I may have knocked a few intimidation points off of myself, but yes they thought she was cute.” He was sitting with her, contemplating staying the night here. He was embarrassed to say it but this was the longest you’d spent apart in a while and despite any appearances, he had gone soft and was starting to miss you, being around your stuff was nice even if he didn’t fit too well in your bed.  “I don’t think you’re very intimidating at all.” You peep back thoughtlessly. “Well, I’d sure hope not.” He chuckles and leans against the couch, “she’s been good too I was,..expecting her to break more.”  Truthfully Kugo wasn’t sure what he was expecting, he never had pets growing up and hero work didn’t give much free time to consider one, it took a day to get comfortable with her, and even now he was watching his every step for her. “I’m glad to hear that!” You laugh, “she’s a pretty great cat isn't she?”  “I have to agree..” Kugo wouldn’t mind having her around all the time, the longer he sat on your couch and contemplated it the more he realized he wouldn't mind having the both of you around all the time. Was this some sort of emotional sign to ask you to stay with him? He’d give that more thought at a later date.  “Kugo are you listening?” “Of course I am.” He was not. You don’t seem perturbed though, chuckling and then sighing fondly, “I’m gonna go shower then call it a night, I miss you two though.”  Kugo looks down at the cat on his lap and he nods, “we miss you too. I’ll be up for a bit longer so call or text me if you need anything.”  “You shouldn’t stay up so late Kugo it’s bad for you-”  “I know, I know, I’ll turn over a new leaf when you get back.”  “Sure you will.” You snort, “I love you Kugo.”  “I love you too, I’ll see you soon.”  You wanted to see Kugo first thing when you got back but you were so exhausted that you can’t help sulking to your own place, things had gone well enough but all the commotion and travel really drained you. You were sure it wasn’t anything spending some time or even a night with Kugo couldn’t fix though. When you shoulder your door open though there’s Kugo, sitting on your couch.  “Kugo, you’re here?” He’s holding some papers in one hand, the other is holding Luna’s back, keeping her against his chest.  “I was just checking in on her but every time I tried to leave she started..making a weird noise.”  “Weird like how?” You chuckle, suddenly feeling much better.  “Sort of like screaming. But cat-like. I sat down and she clawed her way up here, then fell asleep and almost fell off, but I caught her and she hasn’t moved since.”  “And... how long ago was that?”  “What time is it?” “Half-past 6.”  “2 hours ago. I didn’t want to wake her.”  “Kugo.” You laugh and sit beside him, “you’re so sweet.” You wrap both of your arms around one of his and lean into his shoulder, “I missed you so much.”  “I missed you too.” Kugo sets the papers down on the pile by the arm of the couch, “It's sort of embarrassing but I even stayed here a few nights because of it. I can’t remember the last time I went even 2 days without seeing you.” He appreciates the way you seem to melt into him at that.  “That’s not embarrassing it’s sweet, you’re so cute Kugo...” You lean up and kiss him, “such a big softie aren’t you?”  A soft hum is his reply as you pull away, “was she any trouble? Be honest.” “I was worried at first that I’d screw it up somehow but it went fine.” He confesses as he lifts the cat off his chest and she’s sleepy and limp in his big hand, purring contentedly.  “She was acting up the 2nd day but I think she was just confused about not seeing you. Then she got used to me and was alright.”  “That’s cute..” You yawn and clamber onto his lap, “god all that traveling tired me out...you’ve been stuck here for 2 hours but I might have to trap you a little longer to take a catnap of my own. I think Luna’s onto something...” You nestle into his shoulder, grateful to feel his arms come around you.  “Don’t worry about me.” He hums as Luna curls up in the sliver of space between your bodies, “I just want to finish reading over some things. Then I'll bring you both to bed.”  “You’ll stay tonight?” You yawn again and he hums, you can tell he’s smiling even though you can’t see him. “Would you like me to?”  You nod into his shoulder, “yeah, I would...”  “Alright then I will. Now go to sleep, you need it.” 

I still don't understand why people give so much importance to height (?) for me it is so sexist/macho to believe that men should always be taller than women. Z herself has said that height does not matter to her because she grew up watching her parents be of different heights, so I don't understand why the rest who have no idea of her relationship worry about that 😂😂😂 (absolutely nothing against you because I very much agree with what you are saying, is for haters)

I don't get the big deal either honestly. 🤷 I actually know of plenty of couples where the woman is MUCH taller than the man, and most of the time we don't even notice lol. In fact, I know of TWO couples (one of them is my friend's mom and dad actually lol) where the woman is not only taller, but physically BIGGER than the husband, and nobody even blinks an eyelash. We just know them as "Mr. & Mrs so-and-so". I think it's kind of cute actually lol. A lot of times you just forget about the height difference when you're around couples like that. I barely even notice.

That's like, one time in an interview a black woman was asked: "So...what's it like being married to a white man??" And her response was: "Oh my gosh... he's white?? Seriously though, I just view him as my husband. After a while you just see the person, you don't focus on race/color/or whatever". (Something to that effect) I thought what she said is so true! Same with height. After a while you just see the person, you don't focus on their height. I think the outside world focuses more on these superficial things than the actual people who are in the relationship themselves focus on it!! 😂

Good afternoon child, could I perhaps request some headcanons of Diluc, big dong Zhong and tart boy with an s/o who’s very short? Like they only reach up to the boy’s waists? Ty uwuwu



Diluci, big dong zhong and strawberry tart with a short s/o

Thank you for the request! Feel free to request again!

Decided to throw a little extra babys

Characters: diluc, zhongli, childe/tartaglia, keqing, razor

—————————————————————————————————————

Diluc

• Doesn’t really care

• A bit opportunistic though

• So he may hold something up higher than you can reach to bribe a kiss out of ya

• For the most part doesn’t mind, will help you if you can’t reach stuff

• Does secretly think you’re adorable

• Since he’d be protective of you in any height

• Although he may be subconsciously be a tad more concerned

• Although, he would be kinda amused seeing you do stuff around monstadt, only sometimes though

• The fact that you only reached his waist sometimes seemed odd to him

• First time yall met he straight up thought you were a child

• He wouldnt tease you either

• You’re too short to even use as an arm rest smh

• He would fist fight a bear to defend you from teasers and bullies

• Do not tease if hes even within the same world as you

Zhongli

• Ahhh you’re so cute

• He wants to put you on his lap and read/tell stories to you

• Sometimes treats you like a child

• And then sometimes doesnt treat you like a child enough, you could be trying to hard to grab something and he wouldnt do anything till you asked

• Doesnt tease you though, hes too gentlemanly

• Cuddling do be a bit tedious with our noodle boy tho

• He will accidently suffocate you in his loving embrace

• Very doting and affectionate

• Please dont let him spend your conjoined 12 mora, becuase thats all your 12 mora.

• Only you should spend your 12 mora

• He might accidently insult you by saying something about not drinking enough milk, or asking if you’re stunted lol

• He may be a bit oblivious to teasing but when he does pick up on it, hed defend you

Childe

• This man also thinks you’re cute

• And he’s really protective

• But now we have intentional teasing

• Ruffles your hair, gives noogies, pushes down at your head

• He is merciless

• He also picks you up

• Jokes about he always has the high ground

• You only go to his waist so you probably cant even kick him in the nads

• So unless you go for the ankles of knees you have no defense agaisnt him

• Go for the ankles and knees, coward

• Do it

• Childe is husband material all the way

• Has banned you mostly from the kitchen, but if you get in you get in, as long as he is there

• Your knight in shining armour

• Who also teases you

• Sigh

• No one else is alowwed to tease you, thats his thing

•

Keqing

• Another one who thought you were a child

• Surprised to find you two are the same age

• Would be worried for your growth but if you’re mostly healthy from what she’s seen she’ll be fine

• Shes not that tall, so she just does her best to get stuff down for you

• Sometimes you both have to get someone else whos taller no cap

• Liked you to sit on her lap while she vibes, works alot so sometimes you gotta vibe alone

• But you both cherish the time you get when you go out

• Sometimes he doesnt see you and bumps into you, she may make a but of a fuss to make sure you’re okay tho

• No ones alowed to tease you, much less give you weird looks

Razor

• Very worried

• Very protective

• He got anxiety now smh

• Always following you to make sure you’re safe

• Very affectionate and will hug you wherever you two are, it does not matter, he will hold you

• Has bumped into you and then instantly took you to barbara crying that you were gonna die (you were fine, not even a scratch)

• Very hesitant to bring you on adventures, maybe with a team he would but for the most part he keeps you in safe areas

• He doesn’t tease on purpose, its all accidental

• Others teasing and he will use his vision to give them a little shock

• Finds you adorable and just wants to keep you safe

haikyuu!! as dads (pt.2)

A/n: hello! this is the part two to the haikyuu!! as dads “series”. if I combined them they’d be very long.

Summary: haikyuu characters as dads/domestic living.

Pairings: Yuji Terushima, Akaashi Keiji, Yu Nishinoya, Tsutomu Goshiki

Warnings: some timeskip spoilers, fluff, parenting, angst (kinda, not really), swearing (maybe), crack, all characters are aged up

Word count: 2.2k

Part One!

Yuji Terushima

- childish man sigh

- he has a daughter and son, who he’s just as childish as, and it really shows

- boy has so much energy

- he’s ALWAYS chasing his son and daughter around

- he offers to take his kids to the playground, he says he’s doing it to give you a break, but really he has just as much fun playing on the playground as his son

- when he picks his sons up after daycare expect them to race to where you’re waiting by the sidewalk

- he will not let them beat him, he doesn’t realize it, but he gets caught up in having fun and will legit run off sprinting to you, leaving his kids in the dust

- has to repeatedly apologize and promise he won’t do it again, but it still happens everyday

- he’s an apprentice hair stylist so boy knows how to do hair

- you can find him playing with both of his kids hair if they let him

- it definitely puts them to sleep at night, so he does it often

- watches cartoons/movies with them because he also enjoys it

- his sons tries to say doing hair is for girls, and teases terushima about it

- BUT on the low everyone in the family knows he’s just joking and he secretly loves it

- would rather do something involving movement, boy can’t sit still for shit, so often he’s out and about with his kids

-adores his children so much

- he thinks they're so fun

- would rather hang out with them over adults

- “adults are boring” “I agree daddy”

- his children cling to him, and because he’s so close to them, they come to him to talk about anything

- wherever terushima is, his children were sure to follow when they were little

- despite being childish, after taking his now teen daughter to a soccer game, he managed to become famous amongst the mothers who called him “a hot dad with a tongue piercing”

- “I’m telling mom” his teen son said one day while his daughter was on the field still

- “what?” terushima lowkey was confused, doesn’t see the harm in the comments, as long as they don’t over step right?

- “why do you entertain them?”

- “it’s funny” he shrugged.

- “still telling mom.”

- because he’s childish, and his children come to him for everything, he has dirt on his kids that you don't know

- “if that's the case. i’m telling her what you did.” he smirks

- “what did I do?”

- "your boyfriend, last week, behind the bleachers...”

- “oh...”

- “yeah, oh.”

- “you know she supports your relationship, but she’s also protective, and she’ll wanna give you guys the talk.”

- “i’ll still tell her... she’ll beat your ass, childish old man.”

- his daughter still tells him things, but after her brother told her what happened during her game, she will keep certain things from him

- although terushima joked about telling you what went on between your son and his boyfriend, it accidentally slipped out at dinner

- “dad you promised!” “SORRY!”

- he was just having a nice convo with his family and then it slipped out, he doesn’t regret it lol, he thinks it's not a big deal, but when you began having the talk OVER dinner he regretted it oop

- your son claimed it wasn't an accident and therefore tells that he’s been allowing the mothers to flirt with him, but you're more focused on giving your son the talk

- “you know you always have to use protection. I know it may seem different, cause he’s a boy, but if you're doing an-”

- “BABE, SHHHH, I’M TRYING TO EAT!”

- “YOU SHOUDL’VE KEPT QUIET.”

- your daughter is so traumatized...

Akaashi Keiji

- when his daughter was born, he was lowkey stressed

- he wants everything to go smoothly and perfect, and it did, but he was stressed

- akaashi still to this day cannot say no to her

- he gives her that smile, and it just lowkey melts his heart, he doesn't show it though

- you would often come home to see them laying on the couch together, him reading a children's book to her, her pointing at the little pictures

- she’s wrapped around his finger and vice versa

- is in her life a lot more than other dads maybe but he also knows space is important

- he overthinks a lot, so he’s always worrying when his daughter comes home late

- he trusts her, but he knows how influenced teens can get when around with friends

- he’s the type of dad that seems scary cause his blank and serious looks, but he’s actually soft af

- he kinda strict though ngl

- he wants his daughter to do good in all aspects of life, school, careers, everything

- so he’s kinda the strict parent

- when his daughter was little, and even now, he makes sure she always eats good

- she can’t leave the table unless she’s cleaned her whole plate up, he’s very humble sooo

- he’s the one who helps his daughter through tough days or if she has mood swings lol

- he had to deal with bokuto and his ups and downs, so you best believe he’s skilled in that department

- he makes sure his daughter is always neat looking

- he’s not a clean freak by any means, but he always wants her looking presentable/neat

- when he learned his daughter had a boyfriend, lets just say he didn’t talk for hours after the first initial “oh...”

- “dad I want you to meet him” “who?” “my boyfriend- I just said that!” “oh...”

- “mom said you’d react like this, but he’s a good guy promise. “i’d only bring home the best for you to meet”

- doesn’t wanna accept she’s growing up and is sad about it

- isn’t gonna say he cried about it, but he probably cries in your shoulder when his daughter is out of the house

- it’s always been his daughter and him against the world, and it feels as if he’s letting her go, when in reality, he’s not

- she’ll still come home at the end of the day

- misses when she was a baby, because he could read books and tell her stories all day :(

-nonetheless he’s happy for her, just SHOOK

Yu Nishinoya 

- omg he loves his kids so much, he always does the most extra stuff for them

- throws over the top crackhead birthday parties

- has a football team of kids ngl

- 4 kids-

- and he wants more, but you said no :(

- it took him years to get over the initial shock that they also need your attention too- BUTTTTTT he got over it

- he has 3 sons and a daughter and keeps them so active lol

- he’s always going on adventures with them

- he’s the dad that would take his kids camping, in their backyard though (his youngest child is too young to go camping)

- but he sets up a cute little tent and bonfire and its so cute

- sooooo, nishinoya has grown since high school, and although he’s not the tallest or biggest man, he’s taller

- in old photos, his sons (if taller) make fun of his heigh, poor nishi

- will slap them silly

- if his sons are popular in school and get a lot of attention, they are the only boys he will accept who get attention

- he’d be like yes bitch, get them girls/guys

- anyone who looks at his daughter is going to face a rabid chiuaha

- he may not seem so strictly protective, but he doesn’t like when anyone flirts with his daughter

- it is his only daughter, and the youngest child at that

- he embarrasses his kids, A LOT. especially when they're older

- they didn’t realize as young children why the people would stare when they went to amusement parks or to get ice cream

- BUT NOW

- they see it :(

- when you decided it would be great for the whole family to go out for dinner, it resulted in your husband getting into an argument with a waiter for apparently “flirting with my daughter and my wife”

- simply put, the waiter was not flirting, he was just doing his job, taking your order-

- nishinoya is a rabid Chihuahua all the time, and results in his family getting kicked out of a lot of restaurants/places because he’s TOO LOUD

- if one of his kids got suspended from school, he legit can’t find it in him to punish them, he’s not strict at all and is a major goofball

- instead much to your dismay, he REWARDS them....

- two of your sons got into a fight with another boy, resulting in suspension? nishinoya takes them both out for dinner

- when he came home from said dinner, he had the largest grin on his face claiming to you, “they were standing their ground!”

- your son starts rumors about another boy? all nishinoya can say was that it was deserved

- your daughter bad mouths a fellow student and gets suspended for vulgar language? rabid chihuahua dad to the rescue!

- defends his daughter in front of you, the principle, and other child's parents while in the principles office

- the whole house is chaotic and a zoo, and you’re the only sane one tbh

- if not for you, they wouldn't be disciplined at all

- truthful, nishinoya means well and did mature (?) but overall he’s very crackhead chaotic embarrassing dad

Tsutomu Goshiki

- okay so goshiki as a dad is so cute uwu

- we all know he loves to show off, soooo

- he shows his son of every chance he gets

- when you three go to the grocery store, he’s always proudly holding his son on his shoulders, making sure people see him lol

- and when they do see him and comment how cute he is, goshiki just be like “i know” with the FATTEST smirk

- when he’s teaching his son how to walk, he’ll intentional take his son outside and walk him around on the strip of sidewalk in front of your house and a few of the neighbors houses

- he knows that your neighbor, a grandma who’s grandkids are all older and don’t visit much, will see it through her window and come out to gush at how cute your son is and how he’s a better walker than her grandkids when they were his age  

- goshiki couldn’t be prouder lmao

- brags about his kids to the Green Rockets ALL THE TIME

- will confidently and proudly say he has the cutest and smartest kid on the planet and will argue about it for hours to anyone

- “shiki, it’s not a debate, why’re you so defensive?” you asked one afternoon after picking Goshiki up from practice with the Green Rockets, one of his teammates sat in the back with your son beside him in his car seat

- you offered to take his teammate home seeing as though his ride wouldn’t be here for a while, plus he lived a street over so it was easiest and made more sense

- the whole way, Goshiki’s teammate was happily playing peek-a-boo with the three year old, your son was having a blast, and all you could hear were his loud giggles, it was adorable

- “i think he likes me” his teammate mentioned after fifteen minutes. your husband scoffed beside you in the passenger seat

- “i think so too. he’s shy because goshiki is always showing him off, but he really likes you!” you explained, eyes focused on the road

- the whole time gohsiki was glaring back at his teammate

- “look goshiki, he’s reaching for me! he wants a hug”

- “It’s just because you’re holding his favorite binky.”

- eye-

- “....whatever. I still think he like’s me.”

- your husband just coldly laughs and turns around to face the front, “no”

- goshiki spends a lot of time with his son in his early years, so they're very close and always do stuff together

- but on his sons first day of preschool he’s more nervous than his son is tbh

- he prideful, so he knows his son is going to make tons of friends and do alright, but he can’t help but feel bored and alone the rest of the day, since he’s so used to doing everything with him

- on his days off, he always woke up early with his son and spent the day together

- now he has to send him off to preschool for the WHOLE day...

- not gonna lie, the first week wasn’t as bad as he imagined it, but once the second week started, it kicked in for the first time that this would be an everyday occurrence until summer and it wasn’t something temporary

- on the second monday of preschool, after dropping his son off, he comes home sad and legit goes to find you to complain and whine

- “does he really need preschool?” goshiki whined.

- “yes, shiki, it’s important.”

- “homeschool is an option.”

-  you laughed. “who will teach him?”

- “me of course.”

- “what? NO!”

- an hour later...

- “i miss him.”

- “he’ll be back in two hours.”

- “two hours is too long.”

- probably cried in your neck a few minutes later because he was sad about it :(

- don’t tell his teammate though-

- he gets happy again though when you reassure him how much he misses goshiki too

- his response.... “well duh, I am his favorite.” prideful bastard...

- IS SO SO SO HAPPY WHEN HE GOES TO PICK HIS SON UP HUSH

- HIS SMILE IS SO HUGE UWUWUWU

10.21.20, rayofsunas

I posted 7,522 times in 2021

105 posts created (1%)

7417 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 70.6 posts.

I added 188 tags in 2021

#best pile - 63 posts

#e3 spoilers - 20 posts

#iconic - 18 posts

#linked universe - 17 posts

#deltarune spoilers - 17 posts

#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 14 posts

#me - 12 posts

#botw 2 - 11 posts

#age of calamity - 8 posts

#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#shrack sounds like when your cat throws up vodka right next to you and you need to wake up for the most important day of your life in 1 hour

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

You know that feeling when the author gives this one character so much attention. Like, a lot of attention? Yeah this is the consequences of that attention

73 notes • Posted 2021-10-19 17:00:46 GMT

#4

Four, my beloved,

WHERE DID YOUR BRAINCELL GO

83 notes • Posted 2021-07-25 23:32:58 GMT

#3

Haha am I funny yet?

@ryssbelle @beabigshot I love both of your aus and the fact that both of them came from dreams and are now very popular is so funny to me

120 notes • Posted 2021-10-12 18:20:09 GMT

#2

Ok I'm hopping on the ship rating train so this goes out to @botwstoriesandsuch since its their fault.

10. I have Teba x Saki here cause they're really adorable and Saki has to deal with her husband being a chaotic dumbass

5/10

9. Here is my only Daruk ship which is Daruk x him being aroace. Why? Oh because I said so.

6/10 no I am not projecting shut up

8. Revali x Mipha comes next cause HWAOC maked me like them. Revali beings caring and soft to her makes my heart melt

7/10

7. Did I fall in love with yiga husbands? Absolutely. I'm pretty sure Kohga fell in love the moment he saw Sooga with his huge ass swords that are definitely taller than him. Sooga didn't realize he fell in love until his dying breath, hoping Kohga got away safely

7/10 oops I'm sad now :-)

6. So here I got Zelda x Impa cause I really think they would be cute, since the game shows that Impa puts a lot of effort into caring for zelda. Zelda would also fall for the badass ninja.

7/10

5. Now we got Zelpha because I love them. Have you seen the way Mipha spins on her trident like a badass? Zelda sure has and she panicking. Did yall see Zelda destroy the fucking Calamity (after link fuckin jumped up 30ft to slice the fucker in half)? Mipha sure as hell did and she's having her bisexual awakening so she double panicking

8/10

4. Here i have platonic Robbie x Purah cause they're chaotic gay scientists who tease Impa for being their token straight friend (even though she gay for zel)

8/10

3. The only one Urbosa can be shipped with is the Queen of Hyrule. I personally think the queen and the fucker king rhoam were in an arranged marriage and the queen and Urbosa got married at Gerudo Town. The two talk shit about the King a lot (since they're married) so when the queen died of illness Urbosa 100% thinks Rhoam had her assassinated and absolutely wants to kill him but she has no proof.

9/10

2. One of my favorites: King Rhoam x Me hunting him for sport. Need I continue?

16/10 each extra point is for everyone who would hunt him with me. Points will always vary but will never drop below this number.

1. A surprise to no one: Revalink. Yes I love them. Enemies to lovers? Yes. The banter? I'd die. The puns? Abso-fucking-lutely. And I'm totally not projecting onto either of them why would anyone think that definitely not.

10/10

140 notes • Posted 2021-02-08 19:23:03 GMT

#1

This is the other side of the meme I just made lol

191 notes • Posted 2021-10-19 16:54:07 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

Yesterday the very beautiful and talented @fuwari-s tagged me in this game and since that post is already really long i figured id make a new one lol  (Also thank you for tagging me, it made me so happy)

The Game: Tag your 2D lovers + the other trend I saw yesterday and wanted to do which is Would you actually date them IRL. So ill put that under the cut because it is a lot.

HQ: Atsumu, Daichi, Issei, Bokuto, Hinata, and Kyoutani

BNHA: Bakugou, Denki, and Hawks

JJK: Sukuna and Mei Mei

Others: Kagami from KNB, Levi and Jean from AOT, and Mikoto Suoh from K

So if you want to know if i would date them irl that is below the cut lol

As for tagging... if you want to do it :) @eijirosriot @bokutosnumberonefan @hinosreis @tetsus-kitten @sugawarakoushihoe @mynameisjackattack and anyone else who wants to do one or both of these challenges.

Alright so would i date these men (+ mei mei) in real life. Short answer is yes lmao. Long answer, with some headcanons that may or may not  venture into 18+ category but only slightly. all aged up to be my age which is 26.

Atsumu - PLEASE, YES

we would be so chaotic together but he would also be really loving. As long as he can still prioritize me in a relationship, not over volleyball, just as much, then we will be golden. We would have such a good time and i feel like we would have a lot of fun bickering, which i really enjoy. Play fighting as a form of foreplay, if you will lmao. We’d probs be friends in HS and then get together after he starts playing for MSBY and he is secured in his position (and himself tbh). I just love this cocky bastard. he also gives me switch vibes and as a switch, i love that for me.

Daichi - YES

All i need is to be wrapped in his arms on the daily and i would be happy. Man would know how to take care of me and that is all. Love of my life, too good for this world. Wholesome husband. He would be able to manage my crazy side and chill me out when i get to anxious. I would want to be bratty just to get him to drop his good guy routine sometimes and I feel like he would like that.

Issei - YES

Funeral home employee can get it. Matsukawa Horse cock Issei can whisk me off my feet and straight into bed. we would have a lot of fun picking on oikawa together (out of love of course) but we would balance each other out a lot. His darker humor would go well against my lighter humor. Also I feel like our level of hotness is pretty comparable... like we aren't the prettiest in the friend group but still good (if that makes sense)

Bokuto - YES

Big ball of sunshine to light up my day, he would literally fuck the sad out of me every day I just know it. Like atsumu, as long as I am a priority to him itll work out. We also kind of have the same sad moods so I feel like we could either both just curl up on the couch together and watch a movie or bring the other out of a funk easily. I love this giant himbo so much.

Hinata - most likely yes

Pretty much the same reasons as bokuto but I feel like I would get drained of his energy faster, so he would def have to cuddle me more. For everyone else so far I can imagine being high school sweethearts, but with hinata i think he wouldnt settle down until later, or even start dating so it would probably be a lot of pining and watching him from the side lines for a while, which would be really hard tbh. but the way he would smile at me after a match would make it worth it so...

 Kyoutani - Hard YES

I love a boy with anger issues, what can i say... (cough couch my irl husband with anger issues couch couch) I would love to be his weak spot and the one person he would go to to help him not feel angry anymore. I think that my fun personality would help him to unbox himself a bit. I just want to give him cuddles and a place to feel accepted. id also i KNOW hes a monster in bed... 

Bakugou - FUCKING HARD YES, PLEASE

if he was real the things i would do to and for him... A lot like kyoutani i would want to give him a place where hes accepted, and a place where he is unconditionally loved. I would be able to handle his misguided anger and calm him down and give him space. I headcanon that hes very cuddly in private to just his S/O which is something that i love. I love his lil smirk and would do anything to get him to smirk at me. As long as he is able to set me as a priority it would work out, but that would be what he struggles with so it would be a thing we would have to talk about. But I also feel that once you say something about it he would check in with you because of course he has to be the best bf/husband. I feel like I could talk for hours about him so Ill just wrap it up by saying that I love me a passionate man who would probs be a lil possessive, and I would use that to my advantage. 

Denki - GOD YES

I really do think that denki and I are soulmates. we are both the perfect blend of funny, pervy, while still being soft. I feel like there would be a lot of mutual pining at first but he would end up the golden retriever gamer boy to my alt bisexual and thats just the perfect pairing. We would pull so much shit and then get away with it because thats just us being us. I see us being scolded by bakugou a lot for the stupid shit we would pull. Also late night drives in his shitty tuned car to taco bell while we sing alt rock songs from the 2010s. also the switch vibes are immaculate.

 Hawks - Probably

So it would honestly depend a lot on what version of hawks.. him in the hero commission is a no, because he wouldnt be able to be honest with me about a lot of stuff. Like his name, or when i can see him again, and that would give me too much anxiety. When hes free of them and is actually allowed to be himself I think it could work then. I know that he of course wants to still be the best hero, so he would have the same problems as bakugou with finding a balance, but if he wants to i think he could. He would also have a lot of trauma from his relationship with his parents and the commission so I dont know if he would be able to give his love away as freely as he wants so we could get therapy together. I love that for us. But i would happily wake up next to this beautiful birb man if he would have me.  

Sukuna - A hesitant yes

so.. the anger issues that ive mentioned before.. yes. I would like sukuna. I would be his lil bride and sit on his lap on his throne as long as he didnt kill my loved ones or my cats lmao. I would also be ok with being his and itadoris gf while hes living in itadoris head. being with him is just asking for an unhappy ending tho, whether its a life always on the run, or someones trying to kill me, or someones trying to kill him, or hes trying to kill someone. But yes i would like to be with him but that would mean sacrificing a lot. 

Mei Mei - god yessssss..

Please Mei Mei step on me and make me ur lil house wife. I see us living in a pent house apartment with the most breathtaking view of the Tokyo skyline. I would want for nothing and she could take me where ever she wanted and i would just follow her around with heart eyes.

 Kagami - YES

my basketball husband! i love him and would love to be loved by him. Id follow him wherever. He would take care of me and is just so dreamy.. also i guess the mild anger issues.. but hes really not that bad. He would just be such a good s/o. He would cook us nice dinners, wed have a few cats, and he would carry me around a lot because hes so strong. While were on the topic of strong... his stamina... everyone on this list probably has good if not great stamina... but kagami just hits different..... have you seen him in the zone? have you seen his thighs? his sex zone has got to be incredible. 

 Levi - Yes

I was going to say it depends, but really it doesn't... if were in the aot universe and hes my captain and I fall in love with him u can bet ur ass im gonna try and get with him because i could die at anytime. if its some au where he is here in our universe and somehow we meet... like of course im gonna be in love with him. our height difference isnt too bad, im only like an inch or 2 taller than him. I think we would both have a great time together. I would make him laugh, and he would help me clean, because lord knows I hate cleaning. BUT i hate cleaning because its something that I always have to do alone, and I feel like levi would have us be cleaning together like he makes the scouts do. and hes just so sexy... 

Jean - big yes

This beautiful handsome man... idk what to even say about him. Hes strong, funny, handsome, cocky, but very much full of love. would love to run away from the world with him. I feel like if he was in love with me before *tries not to give away spoilers* the marco incident (?) that after he would become very clingy and attached and im ok with that. There would have to be lots of cuddles and reassurances and i just want to see him happy and not at war, with both real life people and himself... id give him the best kisses and he would become addicted to them. 

Mikoto - No? But maybe...

I feel like we could be.. but if you watched the show then you know.. But i would love to be Homra’s princess TBH. No one would mess with me or they would have to face the wrath of my big fire boyfriend and his whole ass gang. But on the other hand I feel like Mikoto wouldnt allow himself to fall in love, so it would probably be a hush hush topic. everyone knows the boss and I are in an entanglement, but they cant talk about it. Then Anna starts asking questions to Mikoto and he has to come clean to her, which would be so cute. He tells her is a secret but she doesn't care lmao. in conclusion, I would want to, but I dont think he would let me.... Maybe friends with benefits tho....

............................................................................................

ok if you read all this im officially in love with you. Please take my heart. 

This took me like 2 hours to do because I love thinking about it so much. if you have any thoughts about any of this hop into my dms or comment on this because id love to hear them (especially if you think i belong with one more than the others lmao). 

Hello Purple!!! 💖💖💖 First of all, congrats on 300+ followers and many many more! 😚 May I please request a match up? 🥰

I am a 24 year old straight cis woman (she/her). ISTJ. I'm an extremely reserved introvert, preferring to stay indoors curled up in my bed or sofa with a book or glued to the t.v. screen. On my free time, I also love to play a lot of video games. I'm also pretty low energy. I have a morbid/dark sense of humor. I guess horoscope-wise, I'm a Leo. OH and I'm a cat lady. 😺

You probably already know this but I'm already married. And I got married pretty young (when I was 22 lol). In a partner, I look for someone serious, bright and fiercely loyal (totally describing my husband right here 😂).

Appearance-wise, I have long black hair and I have a petite frame (5'1). Aaand I think that's all! Hope I didn't over share too much. 🤣

Thank you so so much for doing this! 💖 I love and appreciate all you do! MWAH! 🥰

Thank you so much Luxi!! Your kindness is always welcome here! 😭😭💖💖 You legit can be paired with so many characters on the show, like so many- I’m jelly lmao!!

Bartolomeo

This man right here ladies and gentlemen, is your ideal match! Not only is he an ESFP, he is also is a Libra who goes well with your Leo self!

You want someone who will be with you till the day you die? Bartolomeo! You want someone who can cheer you up and gets your dark humor? Bartolomeo! He might not be completely serious, but he means well and loves you with all his heart! 

Despite being an extrovert, I don’t think he minds spending time at home and playing videos games or watching moves, or cuddling! I can see him also liking cats too! They can be cuddly and loving, the perfect companion for him when you are busy or away!

Once he does get antsy and needs to be out and about, he will happily drag you around! He’s a little over two feet taller than you, so he could always give you a piggy back ride or bridal style carry you.

Would also be great to go to when you are feeling down! Man is a praise lord! The moment his eyes met yours, he knew he was in love! And he will happily remind you of that everyday if needed! 

Portgas D. Ace

So this man is another candidate for you! He’s not as perfect as Mr. Bartolomeo, but he’s pretty dang close! He’s a ESTP which is another personality type match for you! 

He might not get your humor completely, but he is loyal and honest to the core! The type to never lie, even if he feels it’ for the best! Despite his usual fun-loving demeanor, he can be quite serious too and he stands up for what he believes in! 

I can also see him being into gaming, he might not like horror games too much, but he is a nerd for role playing games! Could totally see him getting into GTA 5 or even Animal Crossing (his character looks like Luffy-)!

He’s also a chill extrovert so he is fine staying at home and doing nothing, as long as you don’t mind cooking him some yummy spicy food, he’ll be a good noodle while you recharge! 

Despite his puppy dog behaviors, I do think he would also enjoy cats, maybe not as much as you (he’s a dog lover, change my mind-), but he still appreciates their cuddly appearance and will spam you with cute cat photos when you’re down!

“Chasing Jessi”:  A Sirius Black Story: Plus Size OC: Chapter 6: Hogsmeade Part 2

————————-

Sirius Black Imagine Turned Story

Re-Written and Edit of an old story of mine I had on Mibba that deserved some more love and attention, lol.

Sirius Black x Jess Scamander (OC, OFC, PLUS SIZE OC, PLUS SIZE OFC)

————————————

----------------------------------------

'"I've been waiting so long to hear you say that." he whispered.  "What?" she questioned and pulled back to look at him. His stormy grey eyes focused on her face. "Jess." he said quietly with a little chuckle. "I'm mad about you, love.”  The look on her face was priceless. "Since when?!" she exploded. Her abrupt reaction made him laugh.

He honestly didn’t know why he would expect anything different from her dramatic little ass.  "I guess, probably since the beginning of the school year." he said trying to gather her closer into his arms. "Sirius!" she said shoving his chest. "That was ages ago! It's nearly Christmas!" "Well, it's been a bit complicated, love." he laughed. "And it's only November." She wrinkled her nose and balled his black and red ACDC shirt up in her hand. It was a muggle band that his mother detested...making it all the more better for him. "Sirius Black, I'd be mad if you weren't so cute." she said narrowing her eyes at him trying to look threatening but really looking all the more adorable. "You think I'm cute?" he questioned with a smirk. She rolled her eyes, "Oh shove off, Black. You KNOW you're cute. Don't act modest all of a sudden." He laughed, "Oh I'm not. I have good genes. I just like to hear you tell me." "Well in that case. Yes, you do have good jeans and you fill them out quite nicely." she quipped before dipping out of his arms, leaving him there with a shocked and amused look on his face. "Since when did YOU start looking at my bum?" he questioned as he caught up to her and grabbed her hand. "Well I OBSERVED that you had a nice bottom in third year when Aurora and I were comparing others to Trick's." she informed him. "Should I tell him this?" he teased her, squeezing her hand. "He knows." she shrugged. "Oh, he does?" he asked, only mildly surprised. "Yeah." she said. "I had to tell him when I squished his bum for research." "Research...right." he rolled his eyes. "Hey, you never squished mine." "Didn't have to." she shrugged. "There were plenty of other girls to gather that  information from." He grimaced a little. "About that..." "Sirius, don't worry about it." she cut him off as they neared the village. However, he stopped and turned her to face him. "No, it's important that I tell you." he said, staring into her eyes intently.  "Alright." she said, looking at him expectantly. "Look, I realize that this thing with us won't be instant and I'm not even sure if you want it to be anything but-" "Sirius, I just told you I have feelings for you. I will not be your whore." she snapped. "Bloody hell, woman. I didn't say anything about that, did I?" he sighed running a hand through this thick hair.  She bit her tongue and let him continue. "What I was trying to tell you is that whenever you think you're ready, I'm ready. You're the only girl I've been interested in this year. Period. And...I'm fine with that. I'm fine with being single until you're ready. You tell me." he said as he placed his hands on the sides of her face, letting his thumbs rub over her chubby cheeks. Her eyes began to water and his widened, "Jess?" "Sirius!" she wailed. "You're gonna make me cry!" "I'm sorry." he said trying not to laugh. "I was just trying to be honest." She surged forward into his arms again and he ran his hand through her brown hair, effectively mucking it up even more so than usual. "Sirius?" she sniffled against his shirt. "Yeah?" he asked. "I'm ready whenever you're ready." she told him leaning her head back to look at him. He looked down at her with a smile on his features. "Alright, Future Mrs. Black." he teased with a mischievous twinkle in his grey eyes. "Excuse YOU!" she gasped. "What makes you think, I'm changing anything! For all you know, you'll be taking my name. Yeah, I quite like that.  Mr. Sirius Scamander. House husband to legendary world famous magizoologist, Jess Scamander!" He burst into laughter, "Alright, love. Whatever you say." "The alliteration alone would be wonderful. Sirius Scamander. Yeah, ‘at’s good." she told him and he just shook his head at her. "And your initials! S.O.S.!" she exclaimed. "It's perfect! Sirius Orion Scamander. I'm glad you brought this up. " "Oh, come on, you." he said tossing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side where he could place a small kiss to her forehead as they headed into an actual direction of Hogsmeade rather than just blindly blasting through the streets in a huff. As they did....the whispers ignited. The rumors and gossip spread and soon enough...everyone at Hogsmeade was talking about Sirius Black dating again. And most importantly that his new girlfriend was Jess Scamander. Viciously jealous girls. Slightly confused boys. Mostly because while Jess was as attractive as anyone else...she was an oddball and not what he usually went for. Typically, Sirius went for leggy blue eyed blonds who wore little to no clothing and so much makeup they didn't even seem real. Part of this was because they were the type of girls who threw themselves at him, the other was that they were superficial enough that he didn't have to deal with them for more than a couple of weeks. For the bimbos, it was enough just for them to say they'd bagged Sirius Black. But Jess....Jess was real. Short, dark hair that was ALWAYS in a mess. Hands covered in scars from dealing with creatures and stained from painting. The ends of her bell bottoms seemed to be permanently stained and ripped from the countless hours in the mud. Her chubby cheeks and freckled face and cute little double chin.  That big bright dimpled smile and sparkly light green eyes. She was a little taller than a lot of girls and thicker as well with an impossibly squishy tummy and hips for days.  Sirius called her 'cuddly' because she was soft and squishy and gave the very best of hugs. Truth be told, he'd always liked thicker girls. She had thick thighs and a soft tummy which he'd always found quite appealing. If he was being honest, it was the very reason why he used to try to flirt with Madame Rosmerta every chance he got. It was the womanly figure. "Why are you staring at me?" Her voice brought him from his thoughts and he realized that he 'had' been staring at her. "Is there something on my face?!" she panicked, those green eyes almost doubling in size. She looked so much like a cartoon in that moment that he burst into laughter. "Sirius!" she gasped and tried to wipe her face furiously. "What is it?!" He eventually sobered up and caught her hands to keep her from slapping herself in the face. "Stop, stop, stop." he laughed. "There's nothing on your face." "I don't believe you!" she wailed. "Lillian!" Then she gasped in horror, "Oh my god! Lily! James! I forgot about them!" "I'll take that as a compliment." he smirked and it landed him with a withering glare. "Sirius!" she snapped. "There was a plan!" "And I thought you were mad at the both of them." he reminded her, slipping an arm around her waist when she tried to run off. She struggled for a moment against him before simply going limp. He didn't expect this so she took him down with her. "Ugh!" she grunted as he fell on top of her before she burst into a fit of laughter that Sirius soon joined. "Oi! I didn't think you'd have it out right here in full view of everyone. Honestly, Padfoot. I didn't think you were THAT much of a whore." Sirius glanced up to see their friends walking towards them and then down towards Jess to see her trying to glare at James...upside down. Sirius hauled them both up and dusted her off before pulling her into his side...and giving James a pointed look. James lifted his hands in surrender. Jess looked between everyone for a moment before jutted a finger out towards Lily. "You tricked me!" she bellowed. "You were tricking me." the red head pointed out. Jess glanced Aurora, "Did you know?" The other ginger in questioned gave a sheepish grin and Jess gasped. "I'm telling Trick!" she said as she whipped around to find the Hufflepuff boy. However, when she tried to run Sirius wound an arm around her again. "Honestly, woman. Are you sick of me already?" he teased. "I have to GET HER!" she said as she stomped her foot. "Get her?" James spoke up. "She's partly responsible for your happiness right now. Since the two of you are so stubborn. And I will take my thank you now." She slowly turned her head towards him before glancing at Sirius. "Sirius?" she asked calmly making him smirk a little. "Yeah?" he asked. "If you let me pummel James, not to death, but just enough to get my point across....we can go over there in that corner and snog and I'll let you squeeze my bum." she bargained. Sirius' dark brows shot up with a surprised grin, "Deal, dragon lady. Go get 'im." She grin wickedly when he removed his arm and she looked to James who suddenly looked uncomfortable. "You wouldn't." James said eyeing her warily.  "I would." she grinned evilly. "But...but I helped you with Sirius." he reasoned backing away from her. "And I helped you with Lily...but you tricked me....and that will not do." she said advancing towards him. "Padfoot." James said. Sirius just shrugged, "Sorry, mate." "Sirius!" James exclaimed as he took off in dead run away from her. "Come back, Jamie! It's time to play!" she screamed going after him. Athlete or not, she was a rather fast runner. A rather useful skill you develop when you're trying to run away from angry hippogriffs. Eventually she caught up to him and knocked him to the ground where she pinned him down and turned his hair pink and green and gave him a duck beak until he apologized. Soon enough they returned to the group, no duck beak but pink and green hair still on display. "Jess, please." he pleaded with her. "Come on, it's our first date here." She sighed before pointing her wand at his chest. The pink and green disappeared from his black hair but reappeared in the form of a heart on his chest that read, "Loyal Servant of Jess Scamander, Supreme Ultra Lord of the Universe." "Really?" he gasped looking down at his chest. "Is it permanent?" "No." she said. "It'll come off at some point." "Jess." he growled. "Would you rather the hair?!" she challenged. "And besides, it's not just for me. It's for Sirius because you made him sad! BAD, BAD POTTER!" James sighed and shook his head, "Come on, Lily. Before she gives me a tail or something." "I wouldn't give her any ideas." she warned him. A panicked look took over his features as he hurried her along into the Three Broomsticks. Remus, Aurora and Peter headed in as well to spend James' galleon on treats while they waited for Trick. Which left Jess and Sirius alone again. "Rather territorial thing aren't you?" he asked. "Well, on occasion I have to display my dominance, you know. Can't let him be thinking he can overpower me. Simply won't do. Especially, when the day comes that I need him to do my bidding." she said linking her fingers with his when he slung his arm over her shoulder. "Your bidding?" he smirked as she led them forward. "Sirius! I have plans! I can't just TELL you!" she exclaimed as she led them around the side of a building and into a dark corner...as promised. "Why not?" he questioned backing her up against the wall. "I haven't decided if you can be trusted with secrets just yet!" she said dramatically. "Have you loose lips?" "Care to be the judge?" he teased as he leaned in a brushed his against hers before pressing them together. When they pulled away her eyes fluttered open and he felt breathless.

A perfect first kiss to be honest. 

Sweet and teased with just a bit of playfulness.  "Ok, you seem trustworthy enough." she said breathily. He laughed huskily, "Please tell me that James didn't have to pass this tell as well." The look on her face was beyond comical as she said, "James is my minion. He doesn't need to know anything until I decide I need it." "So what does that make me?" he questioned. "You shall be my slave." she smirked. "Personal consort to the Queen." "Oh really? It's Queen now is it? Personal consort?" he laughed in disbelief and amusement. "Sirius, if you should like me to call you my whore, I will. I was trying to protect you delicate feelings." she quipped. “But if it’s what you want, then you shall be my slut.  Sirius Black, personal concubine to Empress Jess Scamander.”  "You little." he laughed as he went into for another kiss. Call it cheesy. Call it cliche. But there were butterflies. There were fireworks. There was that white hot lightning, burning lava like feeling that rushed through their veins. It was comfortable. It was right. It was so satisfying. And Sirius Black....was happy.

Chapter Five 

Chapter Seven Coming Soon

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Oooh la la!  We got us a first kiss, loves! What are we thinking? How we feeling?  Also, I barely made it through writing Jess giving James a duck beak without laughing.  Just so’s you know, lol. 

I’d love to what you think! Please feel free to hit up the ask box, blast the comment section or reblog with your thoughts and feelings! Next chappie coming soon!

All my love darlings!

Kenny

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Love, Kenny

~

Hey I'm rambling about stuff in my own head again. Trigger warnings apply- specifically those dealing with therapy, dysphoria, self harm, relationships, and stuff like that. :T

I don't really understand it... For quite a while there I was fine. Content even to just let things slide. I think it was because I felt secure where I was (with Lon) and blocked out a lot that doing therapy has brought screaming to the front of my mind... But I could be wrong and I feel confused and conflicted again.

At one point (before Lon) I had settled down when my previous therapist basically gave me permission to call myself androgynous. She told me it was okay- if that's what I felt, then I could use it.... I felt very relieved and much less ruffled. There was still a nag in the back of my head, but it was quiet enough I buried it... For the most part...

Getting with Lon brought quite a few forward and I insisted he understand I am/was not a girl. He also seemed content and sweet and more than accepting... Until he wasn't.. looking back.. Lon said a LOT of weird or off things he either never came through with or downright switched on.. especially near the end. EVERYONE in his family and friend group assumed and pushed the 'girl' thing... And that nag got a little louder..I pushed back (gently) reminding Lon with little things here and there that I wasn't... But still 'she' and overwhelming compliments on my feminity buried me under them. In the end... I know it was driving me crazy (literally) and probably Contributed more to the mess than I understood at the time.

But it also wasn't a push even.. just the assumption.. I believe that because right now my hackles are raised so high every time someone says 'she' to or about me I BRISTLE. I want to yell or (depending on who it is) quietly tell whomever is doing it to stop.. tell them they're wrong... Most aren't doing it maliciously, I know.. it's just what they see. I feel pressured or pushed. It's really weird and extremely uncomfortable. It's confusing too because.. I don't know... I can't see how they don't see me as different than 'girl'... Or heaven forbid 'WOMAN.'

*shudders*

My therapist and I are exploring the feelings around when these things are said to me... And she's proposed doing something about my anger and frustration like squeezing Something or something or just outright accepting it... Basically ANYTHING other than telling people my business... But the problem is, I've told her... I want to BREAK things.. I mean I don't... But I feel the urge to. To hit. To yell. To scream. To cry. To crush. To run. But I don't. In some ways I can't.... Squeezing Something when I'm angry hurts me. My grip is incredibly weak (always has been no matter what I've tried) and everything pops painfully. Or it pinches my skin and hurts... So I've developed a reflex to do the opposite of squeeze or hit things (which certainly hasn't helped the weakness issue lol)... And even if I do try to do those things.... It's never enough. I can't go and go and go like I want to. It just makes me madder. More frustrated. It's never satisfying or as releasing as People tell me it should feel. I just want more. And more and more and more. And in the end I'm usually left a sobbing mess that's completely spent, but still so mad and frustrated... Feeling those feelings even more. Sure I'm tired enough to pass out.. but I wake up.. and everything is still there.. usually coupled with depression because it's STILL THERE... And I couldn't get it out. I don't feel better or lighter or more free.. I feel heavier.. sadder... Worse. I used all that energy and nothing came of it.

And I don't understand!! I really don't. Why I'm never satisfied... Why I've always always been so angry... I was told I was an extremely cruel child.. I remember a little too.. I always wanted to act, but was pushed down.. and even when I did, it never felt good or like it was enough.. I swear I could tear an entire house down by myself with nothing but my own two hands and I STILL would want to do more.

...

And I'm feeling all of these things with gender...

Tevs said to me she thinks I 'want to be a boy because our mother always wanted a boy and [I] always wanted her approval.' ... I can't deny that MAYBE it had an influence on me. MAYBE...

But... I don't WANT that witch's approval anymore. I don't care about her distain either. I don't want her ANYWHERE NEAR my life, it's MINE not hers.. and I'm really pissed off no one can seem to take the damn hint I am 110% DONE with her and anything to do with her. She HAS a son to raise now. And a loving husband who had her adopt him. And good friends and whatever else she has in her life. I am OUT of it. And I want to be out of it forever.

.. it feels demeaning when Tevs says that it's all from that to me.. she's done it more than once, and of course I'm upset by it every time.

... I just want to be me... And every time someone looks at me and tells me I am beautiful.. or pretty.. or a wonderful woman... I just want to cry... To go hide.. I feel so ashamed.

...

Here's the thing.. I AM attractive. I AM beautiful, hot, resilient, kind... Just about everything you'd associate a woman with... I was walking to another area in my workplace just tonight and caught a glimpse of myself as I did so in our big windows... The way I walk. My silhouette. Everything about me... Is envious.

I'm not saying these things because I'm vain.. I'm saying them because if I compare my body and gait and everything to the People alongside me- even the guests I see coming in- I can see it as clearly as everyone else who tells me I'm this pretty thing does... I'm not sickeningly skinny and I'm not fat. I'm not super tall nor short. I'm right in the middle with an ass and legs People tell me they'd kill to have... If I were to wear proper bras, I have a chest they'd love too- not too heavy and not unnoticeably small... But I wear ones that squish my chest so it looks like I have less (and that might be why I have such glaring problems with my ribcage sliding out of place all the time. I'm crushing everything XP).. take a guess as to why I started doing that...

I can't hide my hips... Nor my legs... I've got cute feet too. And hands... So dainty and fine- just enough bone and plump in the right places... It's no wonder I am the envy of my poor (adopted) cousin desperate to be a model and a star.. poor girl. She's beautiful in her own right, but her genes have made it so hard for her to fully dive into her confidence... My dad told me we are rivals and have always been... And my heart breaks for her because I'm not even trying... I want her to succeed!! To be the one in the spotlight!! I want to stay in the background so she can shine... But I always get pulled forward and somehow she's in my shadow (despite being taller than me).. and she can't stand to be near me.. even when I am trying my hardest to let her lead or to say things kindly or in her favor.. I can't seem to win... So I don't really have a relationship with her at all.. Though I really wanted to.

When I don't hide.. when I do 'dress up'... There's so many compliments. If I run into ANYONE from school when I do... *Gags* the compliments, disbelief, and shock... I remember EVERY prom... People not knowing who I was... Or being shocked if they did recognize me straight out. All 4 years... And it made the ostracization worse. My class was AFRAID of me. I was this shy/frumpy (also angry) little thing.. but I still remember being stared at changing after gym whenever there wasn't a stall for me to hide in.. I personally at the time thought it was because I was so ugly/fat they couldn't help themselves... Going through everything in therapy.. I realize it was because I was so skinny under all my baggy clothes.. and really pretty under the acne/hood/ugly glasses. I wasn't bullied just because I was smart/loved to learn... I was a threat and didn't even know it. The envy of my peers. And it's so sad.

I did wish to be like them.. so confident. So able to fake it. To do my makeup and wear cute things and to feel right somehow... But I never did. I tried.. but couldn't stand the clothes.. or the comments about my ass... Or all the things they focused on whenever I came close to succeeding. I couldn't seem to get it right. I just wanted to hide whenever I stood out... It never felt right.

It got to the point I was AFRAID to wear dresses and skirts. Terrified. Everything felt wrong with the world when I did. I felt like I was faking Something. Like I was purposefully being awful... Lying..

I wear some now because I was cheered up by the idea of genderqueer people and some men finding comfort in wearing them and in some ways them becoming more acceptable by all genders... Plus they're reeeally comfy sometimes. And it's nice to just be able to throw on a dress with built in pads during the summer heat wave than to worry about all those damn layers XP ... And I recognize that no one is going to question me or think I'm lying when I wear any... They don't see what I have in my head.

I do recognize that some of this stuff has trauma tied to it... And I'm confused because I don't know where the trauma ends and I (my own genuine thoughts) begin... I was not treated kindly at home- even outright being called ugly in a derogatory manner.. granted I now know those comments mostly came from a pedophile disinterested in me and the pedophile's own manipulation of my mother and her family's opinions (gaslighting and twisting to where I really was the horrible child in all ways) AND I know that I am not neurotypical which caused some other unfortunate treatments in and around my home.

I don't know where to go with it... Or why I'm so viscously against being called a girl or a woman. Why it's setting me off so bad right now. I just know that it is... And for some reason every time I'm alone or not really thinking of it... I don't think of myself as one. Not at all. And when I'm reminded.. I'm often startled by it and confused and need to process the information for a second... Despite 'being' one for all of my life... I've continually had the problem I don't expect what I see in the mirror either.. especially since puberty.

If I could show you what I think/feel most of the time... I think this would be the closest I could get- just make the chest straighter/flatter... It bugged me to no end to add that detail in and still does to this day, but I was going off the model (me lol). I don't feel like Anything... But I want to be something.. and that Something is... Not this. Not this...

But where do I go? What do I do?

I'm terrified of surgeries... I don't want massive scars (not that I mind scars- in fact I LOVE them. They're so cool!! But I don't want people to KNOW you know? Not that. Not Something that is such a private matter... I don't want to believe or go after something for it to be wrong too... And I don't feel I can afford any of it anyway 😞 even if I did want to try or actually found the right one... I would be so depressed to never be able to reach my goal.. and I feel I've held myself back due to that fear too...

I know another reason I haven't tried anything or spoken up or anything is because I have this strange desire to pass on my genetic legacy. It is such a powerful urge I am TERRIFIED of losing the ability... People tell me about adoption all the time as a great option, and it IS a great option for the children... Because I would do ANYTHING for my own... But it's this terrible terrible feeling I wouldn't feel I could claim them as my own and it would leave something still empty inside of me and I wouldn't be as loving because of it and that kills me... It sounds terrible too!!

I would do almost anything to have my own child... When it comes to pain tolerance or body changes I know I would have the hardest time than most if I were to get knocked up.. but I have that thought that it would be worth it because they are MINE.

I've thought about egg donation.. because I feel it would make me feel better to know I succeeded in passing on the line to someone better off and worthy of having children... But I feel I have too many genetic issues or would be an undesirable candidate or I'd feel terrible if the child died and then I didn't succeed...

Lol I think of things oddly... And that makes me think I don't deserve to have children or donate too... Never mind the actual process XP boy... Complicated~

So I've never tried... I am also quite poor and know I would struggle to raise a child. Even just one. And if I were to have twins (as I'm the generation that is supposed to)... I have even more worries... And I don't want a child or children to grow up with the struggles I had or worse than I had like they likely would if I just went for it.

...

I knew I felt more sure when I was with Lon because he apparently wanted/wants kids too... And it was in the plan (Maybe. Maybe not. It's possible he was the one messing with my medication alarms and trying, but also possible he just wanted sex... Because he told me before he left that he thought he was infertile for a long time (and there's some pretty strong evidence to suggest he's got weak swimmers lol but I'm not going to divulge what that stuff is) so it may have been a lie all along... But I didn't know and felt assured and safe with that path at the time)...

*sigh*

Idk what to do... I know I'm messed up about it all.. and I know my knee jerks and feelings... But I don't exactly trust myself or my memory or my reasons... I am only human... And I feel so lost.

I know what I envy... Very much.. and what I would choose if I could... But... Life just doesn't work that way... And science is so stunted it likely won't in my lifetime.

*snort*

I feel the worst thing that my dad ever said to me was when I told him and his wife that I wasn't a girl... I don't remember if I told them I was neither or would prefer to be a guy... But I do remember my dad's response... He told me 'go ahead and you do you, but I want you to know that no matter what, you're always going to be my little girl. I just can't think of you any other way, because you are. You're my little girl.'

And I just... It struck me so badly (obviously, I still think about it)... And made my heart so heavy. I... Understand... To the extent I can... And I don't want to... Lose him because I can't accept that... But.. I feel like it's only pushed me to lose myself... To.. just stay. Take the 'easy' route. To 'accept' it (except we can see how well THAT'S going).

*sigh*

I don't know...

The only thing I do know right now is I have this fantasy about... Going away for a while. More or less disappearing for 5 to 10 years... And coming back... How I want to be/see myself... And seeing what everyone would think...

Tevs thinks I only want it because of trauma. Dad thinks I'm always going to be his daughter. Everyone else is so sure I am a woman...

And maybe they're right... (I mean TECHNICALLY lol I can't exactly argue with that 😂)... And I would be trying to let my 'good looks' and all that 'go to waste'...

...

If I could trade someone... 100%... I would. I'm a pretty/beautiful/attractive looking body... (My face is debatable lol but whatever)... I wonder how come am I not happy about it...

Together Forever reaction post

Hooo boy.  These were... a doozy of a pair.

Connie really is going to become the president, isn’t she?

The way Steven turns off the happiness with Connie instantly when she hangs up

My heart.

He’s pink again -- fear, fear, fear.

I WANT TO SKETCH NATURE AND ANIMALS

Ruby is the best!

Except when she gives terrible, terrible advice

Steven is so much taller than Ruby and Sapphire now!

Steven, you don’t have to stay in Beach City

That was a beautiful little moment!

Don’t say you haven’t thought about it!

*laugh* Of course I have.

Of course he has!!! That is so sweet and still age-appropriate to just be thinking about it--

So the proposal badge has a pink person proposing to a brown person, how ridiculous!!

Also I love that Ruby just HAD THAT???

I love that this episode really brought out some of Ruby and Sapphire’s individual characteristics.  Garnet would never be quite this lighthearted and badge oriented, but Ruby is.

We got the most star-eyes of all star-eyes in this episode, between Steven’s pulsing star eyes and Ruby’s golden ones (LIKE A SHERIFF)

I really enjoy the explanation that Future Vision is a really intense and instinctual and nearly instantaneous sort of math!

I love that Sapphire is cool... but also ridiculous

And her little fist raise!

He really is Steven Quartz Cutie-Pie DeMayo Diamond Universe!

When do you think he added the Diamond?

Cracking the glowstick!

Checking out his own bum in the mirror!

sooooooo cute

it’s a good bum, you should be proud, my son

Did y’all notice how none of the townspeople but Nanefua were the same old boardies?  Beach City is changing, and doing so without Steven.

Their fooooootsteps

Steven falling over on his bike in the sand

I love how round he is, awww

Connie is SWOOOOOONING

If you’d just kissed her then! or just said you want to be with her forever but like as not-official-commitment thing!!! it would have been perfect poor boy!!!!!

she loves you! it’s obvious!

you don’t have to DO THISSSSS

All the commentary I’ve seen about this song being Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart with a side of self-loathing is true... it’s beautiful if coming from someone mentally healthy, deeply concerning since we know what Steven has been going through lately.

That said, if my husband did something like this to me I might die from squeeing XD

He’s so excited for his plan I just can’t

she is so smitten

looking at all those times she brushes her hair away and just gaaaazes at him

and then

the horror

poor Connie!!!!

maybe we should talk about this DEFINITELY

you guys ARE really young!!!

Yes!  I want to be Stevonnie with you but also my own person -- just so beautiful.  Connie has always seemed too independent to want to be a permafusion. And she should be!  

But Steven...  he’s so uncertain of himself, so falling-out-of-love with himself....

my heart just breaks. it breaks a thousand times over.

Also dammit you guys, being sure you’re spending the rest of your lives together and not even a smooth

I mean maybe they’re ace? but I haven’t seen much to support that either way

but come on... smooooooochies

Garnet foresaw them!!!!

I am starting to feel like we will never get a Connverse kiss now lol.

The way Connie has to climb over the obstacle course of Steven’s broken dreams breaks my heart AGAIN.

I love this side of Connie so much.  She loves Steven.  Loves him to pieces. Wants to be her own person.  Knows how to manage priorities, people over  school.  She wants to show him that this mistake doesn’t ruin things. She is so worried right now in the face of his blithe coverup and I just love how fierce she is, always, in all things.

And then... Steven just lets himself fall. Goes pink.  The blast -- you know he heard the guitar strings break, you know he knows it’s all ruined. And he doesn’t even look.

They really knocked it out of the park with the mood and the backgrounds on this one.  The little lingers on the waves just give space for the sadness to creep in.

He’s... been crying... for like an hour... I can’t

I’ve seen a lot of people hating Garnet for this, but I don’t hate her.  Was it a bad, bad idea to encourage Steven to do something that would fail? Probably.  Though maybe it will help him later in moving forward for help.  I don’t know.  The ethics of Future Vision have always been troubling if you look too hard at it.

Perhaps Garnet feels Steven has taught her a lesson in trying to intervene. He had bad reactions in Future Vision and Steven’s Dream.  Perhaps this feels like the least damaging way for things to play out.  Maybe it would have been worse if Steven thought Garnet would tell him “I told you so” at the end of it all.

y’all I love her hand on his shoulder.  I love it. I’ll die for it.

And this. Such a profoundly good Steven face.  I can’t.

Garnet’s advice is so good NOW... why wouldn’t this have worked earlier!!!!

and Steven’s stress eating begins.

No more “too sweet for me.” 

No more attempts at trying to be healthy and adult with his food.

Just fuck it, get the cake in my fucking mouth.

Steven, I know.  I know. <3

So much happening here.  It’s not the plot point I would ever have guessed on my own -- though, thanks for the people who didn’t tag the leak on this one, grrrr --- but the way it was done was the only way it could have gone well. Connie absolutely would never say yes to a proposal at this age.  Steven would never be a dick incel who blames Connie for saying no in a kind and hopeful way that makes it clear she still loves him and wants to be with him.  But it’s a wound, a terrible terrible wound, a humiliating one tied up with disappointment and fear and desperation and self-loathing (I’d rather be me with you, because I don’t want to be me at all).  What normal person would make such a big mistake? Steven must wonder.  And as we see in Growing Pains, this is not something Steven can just brush off.