Alcina going from “CASSANDRA!” All loud and bellowing to softly saying “Cassandra?” Shows that she usually feels bad/guilty about being too hard on her middle daughter.

Like, it doesn’t even last long because mama feels guilty and she wants to make it up to her so she calls out for her (all soft and nice). Now Alcina is certainly not the type of mother who’d apologize out right, but she’d call for her daughter and act super nice and her daughters know that this is her way of saying she’s sorry.

I Only Swim Free: Chapter 5

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x (Fem!)Reader

Summary: You’ve done swimming all your life. You’ve gotten to your dream college on a scholarship for your outstanding freestyle technique back in high school. Relationships never crossed your mind however, that was before you met your swim team captain: Bela Dimitrescu.

Warning: Broken Heart, Depression, But it gets fluffier when you read more into this chapter, ends in SMUT

A/N: This chapter about to get SPICY

“Busted and Blue” - Gorillaz

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Word got out [rather quickly] that Bela’s now ex-boyfriend had been cheating on her. Since Bela went to look for you during the fraternity house party.. It was also because of how he was seeing you and her always so in close proximity to each other. Although he feels guilty for what he’s done, he’s been trying to reach back out to Bela to tell her how sorry he is and that he’ll be a better guy for her.

Lousy excuse really.. 

“To be honest I’ve heard lousier excuses from my own past exes,” You sigh, looking down at your textbook, writing down some notes for a class you missed because Bela didn’t want to be left alone, even if it was in your own apartment

“I was right about him,” Daniela called it

“What do you want a cookie?” Cassandra jokingly asks

“Yes,” Daniela says, giving her sister the ‘puppy dog eyes’ 

“Go nuts,” You say, pulling out a cookie you bought from the student center

Daniela happily takes the cookie and immediately bites into it.

“You have to unwrap the plastic first dumbass,” Cassandra sighs, deciding to go up into her room

You took Bela back to her house however, she immediately locks herself in her room. Her mother or her sisters check on her, despite her wanting your company the most. You had been trying to focus on your school work but at the same time trying to be there for Bela as much as you could was already a clashing combo to work with. Luckily, your teammates and her two sisters had been there for her too when you weren’t able to.

“Hey thanks Dani for offering to look after her tonight, I owe you one,” You sigh

“No worries, I knew her boyfriend was nothing but trouble,” She sighs, “But-but you- she’s taken a real liking to you though.”

Well, we did kiss in her car after that one fraternity house party she dragged me to, she continuously stays at my place. Not that I’m complaining though..

“Really?” You ask, slightly blushing, “Well, I wouldn’t want that on our minds right now. Thanks again!”

You heard that Dean Dimitrescu had been close to going at his throat for hurting her daughter. However, she also knew it would look bad on her part; taking her personal anger out on a student was not the best idea. 

“I’m angered just as you are Dean,” You sigh, scribbling into your notebook, breaking the lead in the mechanical pencil

Scribbling into your notebook was one way you were able to take out your frustrations.

“We trusted him,” She growls, pacing in her kitchen, “But, I do highly appreciate you being there for my daughter, is there anything I can do to repay you my dear?”

“Nope,” You sigh, “I don’t want to be given one of those special treatments, even if I am helping one of your daughters.”

I would want you to accept me as Bela’s new Lover. Please and Thank you Dean...

“Well, you’re welcome here,” She slightly smiles, “And please, when it’s after classes, you may refer to me as Ma’am, My Lady or Alcina. Alcina is my first name.”

Very fitting for an elegant lady such as yourself Ma’am.

“Yes Ma’am,” You say, “I’m going to get dinner, Do you and your daughters want anything?”

“I’m sure my girls will text you, I will make due with what we have in this fridge my dear. Thank you for the offer,” Alcina smiles

She tips her hat as you make her leave. You casually salute three fingers to her as you were about to do the same hat tip, just minus the hat. You send out a text in the Dimi-Daughters groupchat Daniela had made for the four of you. Almost immediately Bela and Daniela text you with whatever food they wanted, Cassandra being the last one. 

As soon as you and Bela show up to practice the next day, you were excused from classes as Donna had given the email out to all professors regarding State Finals, Donna has you all gathered at the poolside.

“I have the results of the semi finals roster,” She announces, “And... We are going to the State Final championship!”

You and your team cheer and congratulate each other.

“Okay okay girls calm down,” Donna calms her children, “This doesn’t mean we won’t win, so tonight we will prepare for it, this Saturday.”

In an instant all of the girls began giving their all into swim practice. You on the other hand, were just going through the motions. Not sure how to handle the sudden pressure.

“Didn’t I tell you that we all pull through this together or we lose?” Donna asks, coming up to you

“Yes coach,” You say, sighing

“You’re going to do fine, an excellent rookie like yourself should be proud you get to do this your first year,” She smiles

“True,” You sigh, beginning to shake off your nerves

“Now get your ass into the water y/l/n!” Donna yells encouragingly

After coach’s announcement you finally took a shower after skipping them to beeline it to your apartment for Bela. You turn around once you hear the shower curtain open behind you. you wipe your eyes and see Bela stepping into the shower with you. 

“Hey you,” You smile, giving her a hug

“Hey yourself,” She smiles, putting her arms on your shoulders, “Quite the show at practice today..”

“Says you, even after what happened you still managed to get your shit together and nail practice,” You smile

You snake your hands on her hips as the both of you begin washing each other from the chlorine gathered from today’s practice. Even after giving each other a shower, the both of you just settled in each others’ embrace as the hot shower began wasting away. 

“You remember when we first met in the locker room?” Bela asks, slipping on the hoodie you gave her

“How could I forget?” You smile, slipping on some shorts

“You were looking at my ass through the mirror weren’t you?” Bela asks, smirking

You almost drop your brush as your chees go red and begin heating up. You slightly look up from the mirror and see her slowly walking towards you. Like a predator stalking its prey.

“Did you... Enjoy it?” Bela flirts, turning you around and pushing you against the sink

“Well-I-uhmmm-ummm,” You stutter, trying to find the words

“You did didn’t you?” She smirks, putting her hands on your stomach

You felt yourself tense up when her palms touched your bare skin. You could feel them slowly running up your stomach and begin feeling the tips of her fingers go under your sports bra. 

“Bela! Y/n! Hurry it up I’m going to lock the swimming area soon!” Calls Donna from the entrance to the locker room

The both of you snicker as Bela drags her fingers away from your bare skin; you almost growl when her hands moved away from your skin. Bela practically moved into your place when she got the news. Thankfully her exes fraternity brothers kicked removed him from the fraternity house and helped her with her things when she decided to live with you. 

You and Bela had finally settled a day where you’d take her out to her favorite restaurant, as a make-up for not being able to see her very often. 

“Yeah, midterms are such a pain,” You sigh into your phone, “But, I’ll make sure you get tomorrow night with me okay?”

Bela decided to stay with her family for the next couple days as she’s been cooped up in your place for so long, not that she was complaining, she missed being around her family.

“Thanks for the ride y/n,” Bela sighs in relief, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” You blush, “Hey, we’ll see each other at practice later okay?”

“Yeah,” She sighs, “I gotta go, mother is calling for me. I love you.”

“Love you too,” You smile through the phone

Wait... She added I into the “love you”.... 

You didn’t say it back, no matter, you’d tell her how you’d feel about her tomorrow night. Even though you haven’t been able to see her, the both of you were able to be on the phone with each other every night before the both of you would go to bed before your classes in the morning. State finals were upon the swim team before finals. So you’ve also been working your butt off for the missed time you’ve had to sit out because of your calf injury from the first meet. 

“Hey you,” Bela smiles as she picks up the phone

“Hey,” you smile, “How you been?”

“Doing a lot better,” Bela smiles, “If you hadn’t hooked me up for that one therapy session, I would have still been sulking.”

“I wouldn’t want that happening to you,” You sigh, “Hey, it’d be better off if you stay at home for tonight. Have an exam tomorrow morning and I have. To. Study!”

“Okay,” Bela sighs, slightly pouting

“Hey,” You say, gently, “We still have dinner tomorrow night. No pouting until before then. Okay?”

She sighs, but shakes it off, “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The next evening, You and Bela settled that you would be driving. Once you reach the Dimitrescu estate, you decide to get out of your car and walk up to the front door and knock on it. Cassandra is the one to greet you. 

“Bela’s finishing up y/n,” She says, “Nice getup by the way.”

“Thanks Cass,” You sigh, adjusting your shirt

You wait around awkwardly but you see Dean Dimitrescu sipping on wine in the kitchen.

“Will you do me one big favor y/n?” She calls from the kitchen

“Of course My lady,” You say, turning to her 

“Prove to me on why you’re worthy of my daughter,” She says calmly

“Yes ma’am,” You smile

“Mother I’ll be fine,” Bela calls from the stairs 

You look up and your eyes widen. Bela is wearing a wine red lace dress; the lace drapes behind her legs. You were a sucker for lace. You were a sucker for Bela Dimitrescu. Seeing Bela Dimitrescu IN lace is a whole show.

“Wow...” you say breathlessly as she takes your hand in hers

“Don’t have too much fun now lovebirds,” Daniela teases the both of you

“Shut your mouth Dani,” Bela sighs as she drags you out the door

“Your family is something Bels,” You smile

You open the passenger seat for Bela and she smiles at you as she gets in. Just as you shut her door, you were going to open yours when you see Bela reaching over to open the door for you as best as she could.

“Why thank you my lady,” You smile, getting into your driver’s seat

As you pull into the restaurant that Bela had made reservations for, you’re again in awe. 

“Are you sure you’re fine with paying?” You ask

“You’ve done enough for me. Both taking care of me when I was heartbroken, setting me up for therapy, teaching me freestyle.. The lost goes on,” Bela smiles, “It’s my turn to treat you.”

You couldn’t argue with that. Bela takes your arm as the both of you walk into the restaurant and basically see class. Something you don’t have however, you managed to find your ‘go-to’ nice outfit and a suit jacket at a nearby thrift store. 

“Did I tell you how fine you look?” Bela whispers right into your ear

You felt a shiver crawl down your spine as she asks you.

“No,” You finally say, “Did I tell you though that you look absolutely beautiful?”

Bela blushes as she leads you to a two-person table away from the rest of the patrons.

“Mother made arrangements for us so no need to worry about money,” Bela smirks as she sips water from a fancy glass, “I can easily tell you’ve never been in a fancy restaurant before.”

“Parents could never afford it,” You say, “So, it was the cheap diners. But hey, nothing wrong with diner food every now and then.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Bela adds

After the restaurant date, the both of you reach your apartment by midnight and you allow Bela to enter your apartment first. However, just as you closed the door, she turns to you.

“What is it?” You ask her

She says nothing as she walks up to you and cups your face in her hands. She doesn’t crash her lips onto yours, giving you the chance to pull away if you so chose to. However, your lips gently mold right onto Bela’s. She lets out a high-pitched gasp as you bring her body closer to your, both of your forms fitting perfectly against each other like puzzle pieces. Your hands trail upward to find the zipper to her dress and slowly remove it, teasing her. She helps you slip her out of the dress. She turns her body towards you, revealing a black lace lingerie set.

“Oh? So you’re wearing these for me? Was this all apart of your little plan Bela Dimitrescu?” You ask, slowly walking towards her

“Whatever do you mean,” She bites back

“You know what I mean,” You coil your arm around her waist, “Any pretty kitty like yourself should be punished for tempting me.”

In one quick motion you pick her up into your arms and place her onto your bed as you settle your hips between her thighs. You dip your head down and begin kissing her along the crook of her neck. You smirk in her neck when you hear her let out a small whimper as the tip of your tongue ran gently along her neckline.

“Hmmm sweet music,” You whisper

You lift her up for her to straddle her in your lap. You give her another kiss on the lips before laying gentle kisses along her breasts. Bela guides one of your hands to cup one of her breasts and you oblige. However, your thumb rolls over her nipple, making it hard. You hear Bela let out a strangled moan. Strangled; your mouth was latched onto her throat.

“More,” Bela breathes out

You reach around her back and with a flick of your fingers, her bra unlatches. She lets it fall off her arms and she discards it somewhere onto the floor. 

“What-what do you think?” She asks, blushing

She tries to hide her flushes cheeks and turns her head away from you. You gently run your fingers along her cheek to have her look at you.

“I think, you are so fucking beautiful my love,” You say

Bela sees the moonlight reflection coming off your eyes and she drops her head down for her lips to meet yours. The kiss was at first soft and gentle however, once you gained yourself, you began losing your self control and turned the kiss to be more intense. Bela lets out a muffled gasp as she felt the pillow at the back of her head. You pull yourself away for a moment to strip off your shirt. Bela knew you were fit because of swimming. She never thought she’d be getting up close and personal with you.

“You’re beautiful,” You whisper against her ear

You kiss and lick your way down until you stopped above her bare chest. You look up at her with pleading eyes. 

‘let me’ your eyes pleaded

She runs her fingers through your hair and pushes your face into her breast. You leech onto her nipple and gently make circles around it. She arches her back, forcing your tongue to gently lick the tip of her nipple.

“Y/n!” She gasps

While you run the flat surface of your tongue along the surface of her nipple. Your hand snakes up to her other breast and you squeeze it. Then, gently squeeze her nipple. 

“Ah!” She screams

Your mouth switches onto the other breast to give the same gentle treatment. 

“Y/n...” She says breathlessly

Your fingers trace her curves as you continue your exploration of her body down to her dripping hot center.

“Are you already wet for me?” You ask, once you arrive to her panties

She nods, “You already made me excited...”

You lowly chuckle as your fingers hook around the thin lining of her panties, lifting them. She lifts her hips to help you fully remove them from her body. You, again discard them somewhere onto the floor. Your hands gently run along her thighs to hoist them over your shoulders.

“Hmm, so you were,” You smile

Bela felt you gently breathing against her wet, dripping center, making her squirm a little bit.

“If you’re just going to keep teasing me ju-”

You drag your tongue along her pulsating lips and you insert your tongue into her, making her let out many small whimpers. Her fingers run along into your hair and you feel her pulling against you. She bucks her hips to feel more of your tongue. Your arm reaches around her hip and you press your palm down, keeping her from moving her hips along with your tongue.

“Babyyyyy I need more,” She whines

You pull your tongue out from inside her and give a small kiss on her clit before crawling up to meet her face. You give her a long, lingering kiss for her to taste herself on you.

“You’ll get more kitten you need to be patient,” You chuckle, “But, damn you taste so good.”

“Give it to me now,” She growls

You hook her leg over your shoulder, so that your arm is under her thigh.

“What-what are you- AH!” Bela chokes

She felt your finger insert itself into her. 

“How does that feel baby?” You ask, looking down at her

“It feels so good,” Bela moans

“Good girl,” You coo

You slide your finger in and out of her slowly, hearing her let out little breathless whimpers was music to your ears. You stop for one moment to add another finger when you slid them back in. Bela again arches her back to feel more of your fingers. Your pace began going faster and faster.

“Y/n... I’m-I’m gonna-”

Before you let Bela climax, you force your fingers out of her and hook both of her legs around your hips. You jerk your hips forward to feel her wetness against yours. You let out a growl whilst she lets out a small whimper. You lean down towards her face as you continue grinding on her. 

“Oh god baby,” You growl, picking up your grinding pace

Bela swings her arm around your shoulder and the other around your hips and begins clawing at your back.

“I’m so close y/n,” She whispers in your ear, “Faster.”

You let out frustrated grunts as you stop for a moment.

“Why-why did you s-stop?” She asks, panting

“I want to look at you,” You smile

However, you don’t really give Bela time to process anything before you jerk your hips again, making her lean her head back into the pillow. 

“Together-together y/n,” Bela requests, “I want to cum with you..”

You smirks as you could feel yourself reaching your climax as well. You cup her face into your hands as you begin letting out pants and slight whimpers. 

“Bela...” You whisper her name into her ear, breathlessly

You could feel her nails sink deeper into your back. You didn’t really feel any pain towards her nails. You only felt her clit against yours.

“Bela... Bela... Bela!” You growl as you come undone

Bela holds onto you for dear life as the both of you slowly come down from your high. Everything was blurry in your vision however, Bela was clear as day. You smile as you lean down to kiss her. Once morning hit, you rub your eyes however, Bela’s arm drags your arm back down across her bare waist. 

“Morning baby,” You smile, kissing the back of her head

She stretches her arms as she turns her body so that she’s facing you, “Morning.”

She gives you a good morning kiss and lays in your embrace.

“Hmmm,” Bela hums

“What?” You ask

“Are you sure you haven’t had sex with a woman?” She asks, smiling

“I’m sure love,” You say, “Why?”

“Those fingers... That tongue of yours.. Worked.. Wonders.. On me,” She says, seductively

Your cheeks flush a faint red as she laughs with a low tone. You let go of her and pull the covers over your head in an attempt to prevent her from seeing you blushing however, she follows you under the covers.

“Oh? Is my girlfriend blushing now?” She smirks

“Enough already,” You groan, pulling the sheets to separate the both of you

Bela yanks on the covers and lets out an enticing giggle as she gets up to straddle you. You sit up to snake your arms around her bare midsection.

“Iubita mea,” Bela says

“Hmmm is that.. Romanian?” You ask, blushing while smiling at the same time

“Maybe,” She teases as she drops her head down to kiss you again

It was an early Saturday morning and you weren’t up for it. But, Bela agreed to drive the both of you there.

“You excited?” Bela asks

“As excited as I’ll ever be,” You sigh, “I just hope there’s no last minute events...”

“Coach gave us the whole events roster,” Bela explains, “Rest assured those are the events that are in there, we’ll be doing.”

You smile in relief, “Good, because I think I would permanently damage my calf if I ever did another 1500 meter freestyle event...”

“You’ll be fine,” Bela reassures you

The Arena was a little ways out of hometown but nothing surprising for State Finals. Your team gets there about the same time you do, and follow whomever your guide was for the day. She shows you to the locker rooms, where all of you get changed into your uniform swimsuits and make any last second preparations for the final meet of the season.

“Dimitresu University Women’s swim and dive, you ready?” Your guide comes back into the locker room

Chapter 6

stay ~ 10k;z nation

part one

word count: 1397

request?: yes!

“Part 2 of the Powerful~ 10k fic

It's sooo lovely and fluffy💖💖💖”

description: when they wake up, she must face her family and reveal the truth about herself

pairing: 10k x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“I found them!”

I was startled awake by the sound of someone yelling. I wasn’t sure where I was at first, or why there was a heavy feeling on my chest. It took me a moment when I opened my eyes and saw the familiar messy black hair still laid against my chest.

Standing over me was Doc, looking down at 10k and I with a sort of relieved look. 10k started to stir and sat up, rubbing his eyes and looking up at Doc as well.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

Before Doc could respond, the rest of the team came running up to the two of us with concerned looks on their faces. Addy dropped to her knees next to me first, wrapping her arms around me and hugging me tightly. It caught me off guard at first and I gently patted her back.

“Thank God you two are alright,” Warren said. “We were so worried.”

“Yeah, we thought the She-Hulk took the kid like King Kong,” Murphy commented.

I looked away from them as I remembered why 10k and I had been sleeping so far away from the group. I had promised 10k that I wouldn’t leave, but my original plan was to wake up before him and continue with my original plan. I was still set on not seeing everyone when I woke up the next morning, but I had been so sound asleep that I hadn’t even realized how much time had passed.

“Murphy,” Warren snapped.

“We were worried you two had gotten hurt,” Addy said. “You left without telling anyone.”

“Why the hell are you two asleep so far from the camp?” Doc asked.

10k and I shared a look. I knew 10k wouldn’t tell them if I didn’t want him to, but I knew it was time I finally explained myself to the group. After my slip up the night before, I had to make things clear with them about what I was and judge their reactions from there. I had to decide if their reactions were enough of a reason for me to stay or to leave.

“I tried to leave last night,” I finally said.

“Where were you going?” Addy asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Just...away from you guys...for your own safety.”

I watched them all exchange looks. I couldn’t read what their looks meant, not even Murphy’s. I couldn’t tell if this was something they had wanted or if they were feeling guilty for making me feel that way. Maybe both.

“I think it’s about time you explained what happened yesterday,” Doc told me. “And why exactly you kept it a secret from us for so long.”

10k reached over and took my hand in his. I smiled at him, grateful for the reassurance, even though this would be the first time he’d hear my story as well.

I told them everything; about what I was, about my heritage, about what it all meant. I explained what had happened the day before - that I was so powerful that sometimes my power lashed out without me wanting it to. I hadn’t gotten the time to be trained before the zombie apocalypse had begun.

“I tried so hard to keep it a secret,” I told them. “I didn’t want to scare any of you. I wanted to find the right time to really sit down and explain all of this to you guys.”

“You’ve been travelling with us for months, you didn’t think any of those times would’ve been right?” Murphy asked.

I glared at him. “Oh yeah, sure. I was totally thinking about it when Garrett was killed, or when we lost Cassandra, or Mack, or all those times we were getting chased by Zs or by a crazy, all ladies cult that wanted to keep me, Warren, and Addy, and try to get knocked up by you. Those were definitely the times I should’ve said, Hey guys, I know shit is fucked right now, but I’m a mythological being that is all powerful and my powers could pop off at any minute because I never got proper training before the apocalypse.”

For the first time, I had managed to render The Murphy speechless. The rest of the group didn’t try to hard to hide their amused expressions.

“Touché,” Murphy finally muttered.

“And your answer to all of this was to run away on your own?” Warren asked.

I nodded. “Well...yeah. I figured it would be safer for all of you if I left. It’s not like anything could happen to me out there. As you all saw, I’m more powerful than any Z that could come after me.”

“That doesn’t mean you’d survive on your own, (Y/N),” Doc said. “These are crazy times we’re living in. Anyone could come after you, Z or not. Especially those psychotic former scientists looking for a cure. If they caught wind of you, they’d probably experiment on you until you died and turned into an all-powerful Z.”

I hadn’t thought of that.

“She’s not leaving,” 10k said. He wrapped an arm around me protectively, holding me close to him. “If she goes, I go.”

“Awe,” Murphy commented. “The kid has a crush.”

“So what if I do?” 10k retorted. “She’s my friend. She’s been there for me through everything. She’s been there for all of us. We’re not abandoning her because she was too scared to tell us the truth.”

I looked at 10k in shock. I couldn’t believe where this was all coming from. Sure, 10k was assertive enough, but he had always been the quiet type. Even when we started getting close, he had never talked to me all that much.

“We’re not leaving anyone,” Warren said. “(Y/N), you’re part of our family. What you are beyond that doesn’t matter. We don’t leave family behind here.”

“Even if the family could pop off and hurt you guys at any moment?” I asked.

Warren smiled at me. “You didn’t hurt us yesterday. I think, even subconsciously, you know not to hurt us when you’re using your powers. Besides, we could probably find a way to train those so you’re not so worried about it.”

“It’s great Z fighting tool,” Doc agreed.

I felt tears stinging my eyes as I stood to hug Warren. She chuckled and pulled away from me.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You don’t have to thank us. Family doesn’t leave family behind. Now, get your things, we should get moving soon.”

I started packing my sleep things back into the bag I had been carrying. Once I was set to go, I followed behind everyone else as we went looking for a road, and hopefully another working car.

10k walked beside me, his hand brushing against mine every so often. I kept looking up at him to see his cheeks were a light shade of pink, but he wouldn’t look down at me.

“If you want to hold my hand, just hold it,” I told him. Instead of waiting for a response, I laced my fingers through his.

“I’m glad you stayed,” he said.

“I promised you I would.”

“I could tell you were lying, though. I was sure I’d wake up and find you gone, but I was too tired to fight it.”

I squeezed his hand slightly. “I’m sorry I was so obvious, but I was only thinking of what was best for you guys.”

“I know. I’m still glad you stayed.”

We were walking in silence for some time, letting the others trail a bit further ahead than the two of us.

“Do you still want to...be with me...knowing what I am?” I asked him.

“Of course I do. (Y/N), I don’t care about what you are, I care about who you are, and I’ve really liked who you are since we first met.”

I couldn’t stop the wide smile that spread across my face. I playfully bumped against 10k as a response. “You really know how to make a girl blush, 10k.”

“The only girl I want to make blush is you.”

“That’s so cheesy, I love it. Keep saying cheesy things to me.”

“I’ll say whatever you want for as long as you want.”

Forever, I decided as we finally caught up with the group again. I want to hear these things forever.

Remastered

Dhawan!master x reader

Chapter 3: New Earth

Summary: New earth, new adventures, but the return of a dreaded old face. You’d been acting strange all day, and despite the distracting wonder of the mysterious cures the sisters of plenitude were concocting, the Master had most definitely noticed. But when all is revealed in the hospital, things go from curious to complicated- especially when the sick break free, and the root of all the days problems decides she wants to try the masters body on for size.

Notes: At last! Another remaster! This time not a Matt but a David episode: loathed by some, but a guilty pleasure of mine! I mentioned wanting to write this fic  while ago, and i finally got around to it on the eve of Doctor Who day! I hope you all enjoy!

As usual, this fic is dedicated to my dearly beloved queen @plethora-of-imagines​. My watchalong companion, fellow soft dom lover, most trusted confident, and the most hat obsessed girl i’ve ever met. I hope it lives up to the hype!

They were surrounding you in droves. 

The sick. The diseased. The nearly dead. 

The filthy pipe covered walls of the hospital basement flying past your field of vision as you desperately raced towards salvation.

Or at least, the woman who was currently controlling your body raced.

Cassandra's presence in your head was agony- not just for the fact the woman was compressing you to death, but because she was so damn judgemental. In all of your adventures in time and space you’d never met someone so cruel, so self absorbed. And you travelled with the Master of all people, for crying out loud. You suspected the only reason you were being saved was because she was too self preserving to let herself, and by extension your body, go to waste. At least she had the common sense to keep up her speed, the Masters pace just in front of you as you bypassed the closing passageways of the intensive care unit and headed towards the room where she'd been hiding all this time.

“You’d better know where we’re going!”

The Master, for lack of a better term, was fucking pissed to say the least. The revelation that you weren't truly yourself was far more shocking than the revelation of the human farm the Sisters of Plenitude were hiding in their basement. He’d first accused the matron, who denied having any part in the ‘fuckery with your brain’, but it soon became clear who exactly had decided to hitch a ride inside your delicate human brain. The, as the Doctor's pet had once referred to her as, bitchy trampoline. You supposed he was also furious that she’d kissed him. You yourself were certainly boiling with anger at that fact. At least it was still your mouth, you reasoned.

“Keep a lid on it, handsome! This has been my terf much longer than its been yours!”

She knew the way well, the distance between yourself and the following lab grown humans strengthening as your feet lead you towards the dingy basement where your mind had been overtaken. Her assistant chip was long gone now, the boy probably dead from the swarming humans. All that was left was you, Cassandra, and the furious Master. 

The pair of you skidded around a plethora of corners, the basement of the hospital built not unlike the elaborate mazes the Master would construct within the walls of the TARDIS. You very much wished to be safe in your home instead of running from manic nuns and the almost living dead, but you knew that travelling through time and space meant a girl couldn’t be picky. If only Cassandra also shared the sentiment

"THROUGH HERE!"

You still weren't used to the ridiculously posh accent coming from your mouth, her shrill yell guiding the timelord to the small door that lead to her chambers.

The Master huffed, following your guide as you crawled through the square metal hatch. You heard the door slam and latch shut soon after, the chambers flying past as the far entrance arrived into view. With a heave the hinges opened, Cassandra letting out another scream as the diseased loomed large in the doorway. The door slammed shut as she pressed your back against the rusting metal and pulled down the lock, her eyes meeting the deadly glare of the Master in the middle of the room.

"My god, we're trapped in here! What are we going to do?!"

The Master narrowed his eyes, leering at the woman with a cast iron gaze that made you even shiver.

"Get out. I want her back. Now."

Cassandra rolled your eyes, the woman matching the Masters stance. He let out a low growl, the Master stepping forward with gritted teeth.

"I know you've met the doctor, but you've never dealt with someone like me. So let me be quite plain: I'm not going to play your stupid little human games, Cassandra. I want Y/N back, and I want her back now."

"God, you timelords are all the same, so demanding! You do know it's just a title, don't you darling?"

The Master scoffed, pure fury evident in his sneering grin. Cassandra took a step back, arms dropping from their fold as he took a step closer. His presence was intimidating to say the least.

"This plan of yours, it had potential. A psychograft- I must admit, rudimentary but creative."

It was Cassandra's turn to scoff now. The pair of them practically circling each other, the Master watching her turn her back as the last human stepped towards the ruined remains of her rusted frame. The Master stood besides the psychograft, the TCE now in his grip as he gestured with the small device squarely at the machine.

"Banned on every civilised planet, I can relate. But you know why they were banned, Cassandra? They were sloppy, completely unstable."

"Another thing you can relate to?"

"You're compressing my Y/N to death!"

Cassandra sighed, venom on her tongue as she kissed your teeth, scrunching her nose in disdain. Your fingers carefully traced over the metalwork of her frame, the jarred brain she once used now beginning to wither as the suspension fluid leaked and pooled out onto the rank basement floor. 

"And where do you suppose I go, hmm? My skin is long dead." Cassandra snapped, head whipping around to glare at the man in the purple coat. She smirked cockilly, tilting your head.

"You ought to play softer with your toys, time boy. This very sore little human of yours is my one ticket out of this shit hole"

"I'm afraid you'll have to deboard your vessel, Cassandra. You can float in the air- like dust, or a disgustingly persistent mosquito. Quite on brand, for you-"

"Very funny-"

"But your self preservation, Cassandra, is nothing but a big, fat you problem. That body you're in is precious to me and I'm not letting you get even a scratch on her."

Cassandra glowered, clenching her teeth as the Master gripped the TCE tight in his palm. She stared at him, lips quivering as she planned her next rebuttal. The Master held his nerve, unable to help the tightening of his chest as he thought of you, stuck inside your own body. He knew the feeling of being kept from your own being all too well from his little stint in utopia. Cassandra finally relented as the Master slowly raised the TCE to aim at her head.

"Give. Y/N. Back."

Cassandra carefully stood, slowly stepping towards the Master as he brandished his weapon in his hand. She teasingly began to twist the charm on the necklace around your throat, holding the pendant between her fingers. The Masters glare strengthened, eyes focused on the jewellery in her grasp. 

"You know, once you were dead and this place far behind me, I was planning on dumping the meat and pawning the bling as soon as I could. But you, Master, are too stubborn for your own good."

The Masters expression reeked of confusion, his head tilting to the side as Cassandra squared off her shoulders. The time lord took this as a threat, tightening his hold on the TCE as he watched her every move. You could see it in his eyes- Thousands of possibilities processing at once, the gears of his mind shrieking as they grinded through his manic yet methodical systems of thought.

"You want her back? You asked for it."

The tremendous pressure on your head suddenly lifted in a whirlwind of overstimulation. Every sound screamed in your ears, the basement around you caught in a surge of darkness as your hazed vision was stolen from you. A loud ringing persisted, if only for a few moments, the muted and muffled existence you'd sat within ripped from under your feet. Your knees weakly buckled, shoulders slumping as you felt the ground connect between your feet. You let out a gasp for air, eyes scrunching shut as you shook your head. The basement slowly came back into vision, your head recovering from the imprisonment with a low groan from your throat and a palm to the side of your skull.

"Ow, jesus christ, my fucking head. Where did she go?"

You focused your vision on the man in front of you. The Masters back was turned towards you, the timelord almost bent in half. He didn't respond, body oddly still as you dared to take a step forward. You had a dreadful suspicion about where she'd run off to after leaving your head.

"Master?..."

"Dear lord, I'm a bad boy now!"

No way. No fucking way.

Cassandra turned around with a flourish, hands upon the Masters chest as she let out an excitable giggle. His eyes sat wide, a half smile upon his face as she familiarised herself with her new body. She stumbled on her feet like a newborn deer, inspecting her fingers and rocking on her toes as she rubbed at her chin. The presence of a beard under her fingertips seemingly blowing the woman's mind. You didn't know whether to laugh at her antics or cry at the problem that just emerged before you.

"I've never been a bad boy before! Bad girl, for sure, but this?! Isn't he just delicious!"

His usual northern tone was long gone, a fact that hurt much more than it should. Cassandra couldn't stop giggling to herself, her hands playing over his cheeks as he hurriedly raced towards the cracked mirror placed upon the wall. She gasped loudly, rippling with excitement as her hands roamed over the Masters body: Fluffing his hair, synching his waist, popping the top button on his shirt. Seemingly doing everything she could to fill you with jealous rage.

"Are you about done?"

The Master flapped his hand in your direction, shushing you as she childishly jumped up and down on the spot. You folded your arms, biting your tongue as she preened and primped in the mirror, pushing his face within her hands and posing with narcissistic delight. You'd seen the Master do this himself, on occasion. But this was a completely different beast- especially since you didn't enjoy where her hands were seemingly wandering to

"Oh hush, darling. I'm just having a little fun with all these new… graciously extensive parts- these have definitely been well worn in, the saucy little thing. I'm quite the handsome devil now, aren't I?"

You growled, nose scrunching as she hummed to herself, smoothing down his purple tweed collar as she began to prance and strut around the room. She lept over various apparatus and rubble, spinning and watching the purple material of his coat fly like a skirt behind her. Cassandra let out a satisfied cackle, sighing with up most content. Your rage was furiously simmering within your chest.

"He's quite the riot, isn't he? He's so feisty, I love it. So edgy, so... Naughty! He has lots of filthy thoughts about you in here, oh the pictures i could paint for you."

"Get out of my- the Master now!"

Cassandra cackled, leering in towards you with a torturous grin. You'd feel rather flustered if it weren't for the fact this wasn't the Masters doing. Cassandra held her hands to his chest, stalking forward as you desperately clung to your stoicism. You wouldn't give her the satisfaction of watching you crack.

"THE Master? Or were you about to say MY Master? You forget darling- i've been inside your head. You want this samba in his chest to only beat for you."

You rolled your eyes, leaning away as the Master giggled and leant in closer towards your face. If Cassandra weren't within the Masters body you most definitely would've punched her. But your growing level of rage meant that was a fact you would possibly be able to overlook.

"It's a shame, really. If it weren't for the fact he'd kill me on the spot, I think i'd like to keep him. He seems like a seasoned professional in showing a lady a good time, after all!"

You let out a scandalised squeak as Cassandra grabbed at your hips, causing herself to dissolve into stitches of laughter as you shoved at the Masters chest. A blush of embarrassment flooded your cheeks, your fists bunching together in furious resentment. 

You sighed loudly, narrowing your eyes as you glared at the woman currently possessing your time lord. She was well and truly pushing your limits at this point and you weren't sure how much of her shenanigans you could handle.

"It's so easy to tease you, darling! You know at first, i just thought it was a personal interest of yours. But he actually calls HIMSELF the Master!-"

"Cassandra-"

"How fabulously kinky! Lucky girl, you did find an exciting bedfellow. How you kept hold of him i'll eternally have no idea."

"ENOUGH!"

The timelord paused from playing with his hair, turning to look you up and down with widened eyes. Cassandra took in your heaving chest, the tightening of your jaw as you glared daggers into her forehead. She raised his eyebrows, raising his hands in mock surrender. You could feel the sarcasm dripping from her actions, which served to infuriate you even more so than before.

"Struck a nerve, did I?"

"We're stuck in the basement of a hospital in QUARANTINE, chased by INFECTED LAB GROWN HUMANS! All of which, by the way, is ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! And you think the best use of ALL OUR TIME is to play a game of musical bodies and piss off the only person able to help you out?!"

Cassandra pouted childishly at your words. You let out a frustrated huff, causing her to almost recoil in shock.

"We're short on time and big on problems. The last thing I need is you making this situation any worse than it already is!"

A thick silence sat between the pair of you. It was almost a dare to see who would attempt to move first, Cassandra's lips pursed and quivering as if the sarcastic retort was planning itself behind the Master's teeth and upon the timelords tongue. Your determined stoicism was completely abandoned in favour of indulging in the buttons Cassandra had been desperate to push. At this point all you wanted was the Master- not the stuck up snob currently cursing you internally in several languages.

You wanted to be out of this hospital and back in the TARDIS, to lay together and laugh at how a crazy old human who didn't know when to die decided to prance around inside the pair of you for an hour or so. But you couldn't. Because that crazy old human was ridiculously persistent. You thought her and the Master could possibly get on if it weren't for the current predicament you'd found yourselves in.

It seemed Cassandra had finally found her argument. The Master stepped towards you, hands on his hips as he sneered up and down your body. You opened your mouth to speak, ready to smack down any argument she could possibly have against common sense and decency, until a loud crash suddenly broke the pair of you from your standoff.

"Please… Help us!"

The far door to the basement slammed open, the sound of metal ricocheting against the aging stone wall. The diseased clawed and clamoured, spilling into the dingy room with a surge of newfound freedom.

The Master let out a petrified scream, hands flinging to your shoulders as he yanked you forwards to act as his human shield. Cassandra cowered behind you, peeking over your shoulder in terror. You could most definitely slap that woman, you decided. Guilt be damned. He let out a shrill yowl of panic, jutting you forward towards the oncoming hoard.

"TAKE HER, SHE'S LESS VALUABLE THAN I AM!"

Yep. Guilt be most definitely damned.

"Cassandra we have to work together!" You pleaded, turning over your shoulder to face the terrified Master cowering behind you. 

"The Master would know what to do but since you won't leave his head you have to trust I know what he'd say!"

Cassandra whined, roughly pulling you backwards as she stepped away from humans that were slowly beginning to close in.

"And what would he say?!"

You assessed your options. The sick were surrounding you from most angles, your entrance still sealed from your previous escape. However, a possibility caught your eye.

A slender black ladder. Your way out.

You turned once more to the woman, confidence finding itself back in your stride.

"UP THERE!"

The Master screamed once more, heaving you forwards with a weak shove as he scrambled up the stone steps that just emerged behind him. You yelped, gathering your footing with haste as you saw the purple of his coat flail behind him.

“Out of my way! Pretty people don’t die first!”

You followed Cassandra's path, clambering through the remaining metalwork of her skin frame and heading towards the metal ladder that sat flush against the wall. The basement supposedly lead towards all manor of places within the hospital, this upward ascent leading you towards the hollow insides of an abandoned elevator shaft. You watched the timelord hesitantly grasp hold of the flaking and rusting rungs of the ladder, disgust evident on his features as he retched at every climb. You couldn't be dealing with any more of her antics today.

“WHAT’S THE PROBLEM!?”

“THIS LADDER IS FILTHY!”

“SO!?”

“I HOPE YOUR MASTER HAS HIS TETANUS SHOT!”

You shrieked in frustration as you shoved Cassandra further up the ladder, your wafer thin patience having been tested today by that woman more times than you ever thought you could possibly muster. Your time was very much running out, and getting a disease from a ladder was of more concern to the woman than obtaining every single disease on new earth. The audacity of that woman astounded you to a completely new degree.

“IT'S EITHER THAT OR PLAGUE!”

“STOP YELLING AT ME, I CANT COPE WITH ALL THIS PRESSURE!”

“FUCKING CLIMB, CASSANDRA!”

A metallic thunk erupted from the bottom of the ladder, the blistered fist of one of the lab grown humans clinging tight to the first rung of your escape. The flustered cry of Cassandra floated further up the length of the ladder, your stomach filling with pity as you watched the pained glances and heard the pleading cries of the sick. You only hoped you could get the Master back and figure out a way to help them.

“Please… help us!”

“I’m sorry! I’ll try, I promise!” you called in return, before turning to face the panicked clambering of the Cassandra possessed Master up to safety.

You could do this. If you were lucky, you reasoned. It was possible.

If you were truly lucky you could get your Master back, lift the quarantine, save the sick, and escape this dreaded hospital. Only four things. You could do this.

But first, you had to deal with Cassandra:

And judging by the fact she was still screaming, several rungs up the ladder, you needed all the luck you could possibly get.

Guilt

Sooo- I hadn’t planned to write anything for Halloween, but then I got this idea and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I know I’m a day late (typical me), but since it is done I might as well post it, right ? This One Shot is part of the Varitas AU (basically an evil Varian ahah), and I fear I got inspired by the rp blogs : @royal-engineer-of-corona and @v-a-r-i-t-a-s TW !! Amber, knife, death (there is no graphic description except a mention of blood)- if there is anything else that you think I should tag, don’t hesitate to yell at me in the comments. Takes place between Be very Afraid and Cassandra's revenge !

If most people had to describe Varian, they would use the word 'dangerous' because of what the kid could do, and what he had already done. Although the alchemist had saved Corona and been forgiven by the royal family, everyone still saw him as the criminal who kidnapped their queen, who attacked the kingdom with automatons and a mutant raccoon. Everyone still saw him as the threat he used to be and could still be, even Varian himself : if the alchemist couldn't forgive himself, why would others act any differently ? But Eugene saw things differently. Unlike the rest of the Coronans, the former thief spend most of his days with the young alchemist ever since the latter got out of jail; he had of course been wary of him at first, the memory of Varian attacking Rapunzel and the kingdom still painfully fresh in his memory like in everyone else's. But day after day, he had soon come to accept that the kid was very different from this idea that everyone had of him. Everything about him, whether it was his actions or his words, illustrated his regrets about his past actions; and Eugene could see how hard the kid was trying to make amends. That was why the word he associated with Varian was not 'dangerous', but 'guilt'. It was both an observation of the alchemist's behavior, his doubts and culpability, and also a protection against others' judgment. Varian had regrets. Varian had changed. Varian was no longer dangerous. He wanted nothing more than for everyone, the kid included, to see that and to be able to move on; for people to realize all the good Varian could make, and for Varian to see that as well- that it wasn't too late for him to be who he wanted to be. That he could still be happy. Such a shame that he had to be proved wrong. It had all happened really fast : the automatons, attacking the island one morning. They were numerous, and more just kept coming in an endless flow; even though they had no idea what was happening or why, Rapunzel had focused on going and protecting the Coronans first, getting answers after that. That was the plan. Pretty easy, hard to mess up- or, it should have been. Because now as the cold, metal hand of the automaton was firmly holding Eugene prisoner, the latter having no choice but to face the woman he loved encased in amber and surrounded by two other automatons, the former thief was left wondering how could things have possibly gone this wrong. "Well, it looks like Corona no longer has her beloved leader- if she could even be called that in the first place." And of course, how could he possibly forget the one whose satisfied tone was awakening in Eugene a deep hatred, one like he had never felt before. Varian was standing in front of the statue, looking absolutely triumphant, and how could he not be after taking over Corona and defeating their princess, their Sundrop ? The broken wall of the throne room, the latter being only a remnant of what it used to be, only added to his glorious victory, offering an heartbreaking view on the completely destroyed kingdom. His eyes were shining with an eerie joy, and a wide grin appeared on his lips as he admired the consequences of his actions; encased in amber, Rapunzel's painful and horrified expression was a terrible contrast with the alchemist's ominous one. "Don't worry, Eugene," the alchemist said after some time, finally looking away from the amber to the former thief, trapped in an other kind of prison, "She's not dead. She doesn't deserve such a fate." The alchemist confidently walked up to him, leaning against the metal hand. "No, she deserves a sentence far worse than that." The alchemist's voice was dangerously low as he stared at Eugene, watching his every reaction. The former thief didn't look away in return, instead glaring at the kid who had taken so much from him and went as far as to laugh about it too. He just- Eugene simply couldn't believe what he was hearing and seeing. Varian- Varian had made amends. He had apologized, and they'd forgiven him. He had been working ever since to help Corona, to fix his mistakes and stop Cassandra. Varian had changed- he had. Hadn't he ? But then, why would he go back on that ? Why did he all of a sudden attack Corona with these- these automatons, destroying the island, trapping Rapunzel in that same amber that destroyed his life once before ? Why would he do that to his friends, to Team Awesome ? Was it all just a wicked scheme to fool them ? Eugene stared at the kid in front of him. He was exactly like Varian- same outfit, same black hair with this odd blue stripe, same blue eyes. No, not the same. Varian's eyes weren't merciless, mocking and cold, so cold. Varian's eyes were warm, friendly and guilty. "Who..." Eugene hissed, glaring all the more. "Who are you ? What have you done to Varian ?" Varian wouldn't do something like that, Eugene was sure of it. The other half of Team Awesome, the kid who liked ham sandwiches and often forgot to take care of himself when working was not the same as the one who encased Rapunzel in amber. The alchemist who fought his fears in order to save Corona, that kid would never do something like that. Still, he didn't expect... him, to simply smirk, that same threatening smirk he thought -he hoped- he'd never see again on this face. "You know, I never thought you were right when you said that people don't give you enough credit. You are clever, aren't you ?" "What does that mean ?" He was just done talking when the door of the throne room opened with noise. Eugene tried to look behind him to see the source of the noise, in vain : the robot's grip was keeping him from making any movement. However, he had a really good view of Varian raising his head in surprise, before cautiously taking a few steps back, furious eyes staring at... whoever just came in, Eugene guessed. Said person walked closer, as Eugene could tell from the footsteps sounds, before stopping right beside him; turning his head to the side, Eugene saw... Varian. It took his mind a minute to process the information. "Wait wait wait," Eugene narrowed his eyes, "Am I seeing 2 Varians ? Is that- is that some sort of evil twin story, or...?" Varian number 2 didn't react, but Varian number 1's smirk only widened. "I guess you could say that." He did a mocking bow in front of the other two, "I am Varitas, 'the mean one'- because someone has to take the blame, and who's better to replace Varian at it than Varian himself ? You Coronians aren't really creative, you know : get yourself someone else to blame, or even better, an actual justice system." It took all of Eugene's might not to give in and harshly tell him that he was absolutely guilty for what he had done to everyone; he barely restrained himself from doing so, realization hitting him hard. That was what that Varitas guy wanted. He had been provoking him since the beginning, trying to push him to his limits; and although Eugene wasn't really one to give in to anger, what could that kind of behavior do to someone who would, someone whose guilt would make them an easy prey ? For example, someone who definitely would be the target of his own double... Oh no. "I'm so-sorry..." Varian whispered, his voice cracking. His glassy eyes were filled with tears that streamed down his cheeks, highlighting how unusually pale he was, or how dark and big the bags under his eyes were in contrast. "It's all my fault..." "Kid-no. This is not your fault, none of it is." Eugene insisted. Varian clearly seemed exhausted, on the verge of breaking down, and with all of that accumulated guilt ready to burst free, he was basically an emotional time bomb. A really, really unstable emotional time bomb that could possibly become a problem if nothing was done to calm him down before. When did that start ? Why hadn’t he noticed before, why hadn’t he done anything to protect Varian ? Varian didn’t react, clearly not believing him; it broke Eugene’s heart to see him in such a state. Of course, that's the moment Varitas chose to speak up. "You're right, Eugene : it's not his fault nor is it mine, but it is actually yours, it has always been. I know how talented you are all in the field of lies and deceit and breaking promises, but you have to be incredibly good to make him believe that you actually care about him and are his friends without him ever questioning it. Again." Varian shivered, looking down at the ground, and Eugene could only imagine the thoughts going through his head; anger and guilt and feeling of betrayal and self-loathing, all of them feeding a dangerous hatred that was definitely what Varitas was planning to use. Oh, how much Eugene hated that Varitas kid. He hated him for taking Rapunzel away, for torturing Varian; he hated how powerless he felt. "If you know us as well as you say you do, then you should also know these are not lies." Eugene growled, but Varian once again didn’t react. Varitas only rolled his eyes, fully aware that he was in control of the situation. "Oh, you are good- but thank you for proving my point." He then turned to Varian, and Eugene tensed up. Whatever he had planned, Eugene feared the kid wasn't in a good enough state to fight against. "I'm sorry I started without you," Varitas smiled, something almost warm, outstretching his hand towards Varian, "but you can still join me and serve justice, like we wanted to." Unlike his kind words, his tone was very clear : obey, or face the consequences. Varian stared at Varitas' hand for a moment, before his glassy eyes moved to the hole in the wall and the destruction beyond, then to the amber and finally, to Eugene. Eugene's heart ached as he met Varian's eyes. The raging storm of the kid's emotions was frightening, and Varian seemed completely lost. Eugene wanted to reassure him, to tell him that these were all lies, that none of it was true, that they did care about him- but he also wasn’t stupid. “Please, kid... Don’t...” Was all Eugene said, because he saw in these eyes that Varian... Varian would not believe him, or anything else he’d say. That Varitas's poisoned words, playing with Varian's deepest fears and guilt, had already had their effect on the kid. Where was he when Varian needed him ? Why was he stuck, unable to help when the kid needed him the most ? Varitas was right- just like before, he couldn't give Varian the help he so desperately needed. Varian stared at him for a while longer, before looking back at Varitas. Extending his hand, he took the other's in his own. Then, harshly pulling Varitas forward, he threw in the latter's face a green ball that exploded in a flash of blinding light. Varitas immediately shoved Varian away, rubbing his eyes with his hands; his hiss of pain morphed into a low chuckle. "Alright, looks like you've made your choice..." Eugene felt his heart drop as the two other automatons -the ones not currently holding Eugene- walked toward the alchemist, responding to Varitas's order. He knew his friend hardly stood a chance; above all, he knew Varian was fighting a losing battle, because he himself didn’t even know what he was fighting for, or if he wanted to. It was clear as day that Varian was fighting back like a wounded animal, with the energy of despair, and that this would end very badly. Eugene tried once again to free himself, even if he knew there was no way he could get out. Varian acted quickly, trapping the first automaton's feet in goo, effectively stopping him. Varitas threw at him a green ball that Varian barely managed to avoid; not fast enough to recover, the alchemist couldn't dodge a hit from the second automaton that made him fall to the ground. Not wasting any time, Varian sent a pink ball on the second automaton, trapping him the same way; he however didn't see the third ennemy attacking him from behind. "Watch out !!" Eugene stopped struggling a moment to yell in alarm. Varian startled and turned around just in time to catch Varitas's wrists, keeping him from using his knife- because yes, he had a knife, a real one. "Why are you fighting for them ?!" Varitas shouted, furious. "They are responsible for Dad being encased, for all of our woes- you should want to serve justice ! You used to want that, so why would you believe their lies again ?!" Varian didn't answer, simply staring at the knife held right between the two of them. "It was the price to pay to become their friend again, wasn't it ? Ha- you're pathetic. They will betray you just like they already did, and the worst of all is that they'll be right : you'll have no one to blame but yourself, for being stupid enough to trust them again." Varitas's eyes were filled with disgust, sadness. No answer. Varian's grip loosened a bit, his face reflecting some hesitation. “Varian, no- don’t listen to him ! He’s trying to get in your head !!” The alchemist no longer seemed to be able to hear him, his attention entirely focused on Varitas. Eugene’s voice was only a quiet noise, drowned out by Varitas’s own voice and Varian’s thoughts. "I hope you're happy. I hope you'll believe their lies that make you think that this is what's best for you, this is what you have always wanted. You won : enjoy your golden cage, Varian." "Kid !!" Eugene shouted, alarmed, and that finally snapped Varian out of it. Kicking his opponent, the alchemist made Varitas fall backwards; the latter harshly hit the ground, his grip loosening on the knife. Eugene watched with horror as the alchemist quickly took the knife from Varitas and held it at the other's throat. "Don’t do that Varian ! You are angry- we all are kid, but killing him isn't the solution !" "He's right," Varitas added, "You can go ahead and kill me, but that won't change anything. You know that I'm right, and getting rid of me won't change the truth." Varian gritted his teeth, his grip getting just the tiniest bit firmer on the knife, and Varitas let a vicious smile appear on his lips. "You and me, we're just good for destruction, hurting others, taking the blame. I know it, they know it : that's why they let you down, and will let you down again. There's no denying it anymore, Varian. If you don't kill me, I will just keep destroying everything, and you'll be to blame for not stopping me when you had the chance : but if you do stop me, that you dare kill me if you’re even able to, then you will become the villain, the murderer, the mean one, because neither of us are part of the people whose faults are all forgiven. No matter what you choose, you will lose, just like I kept telling you." Varian stared at Varitas as he was talking, unable to stop listening to him. He knew he shouldn't listen or even consider his words, but something in them struck a chord within him, reaching doubts he tried to muffle, thoughts he tried to get rid of and amplifying them to the point that he could no longer ignore them or bury them again; and even though he thought he could hear Eugene's voice, he couldn't actually hear his words. Varitas smirked, knowing that despite the appearances, he had the upper hand. Reaching in his pocket, he got out a purple ball. "It's over, Varian." The alchemist's eyes widened in realization as the ball hit the ground, exploding and covering the whole room in a cloud of purple smoke. Eugene felt his blood froze in his veins as he heard fighting noises, the sound of metal clashing against skin and a cry of pain, then a body hitting the ground; and after that, nothing. In the heavy silence that followed, the cloud slowly escaped the room through the hole in the wall, joining its peers in the sky. Eugene then saw with horror a body lying on the ground in a puddle of blood. Standing next to him, its double was panting, holding without trembling the knife stained with blood. At that single moment, a terrible truth dawned on Eugene who felt his heart come to a stop. Even if it was impossible to distinguish the twins, one thing remained certain : one of them was now dead, killed by the other. And therefore, it didn't matter which one came out a winner in this battle, because the result was the same either way. Varitas had won, and their Varian was gone.

Why can't you understand? I didn't want this.

Summary: Bruce wanted to cry. Or die. Whichever came first really. He was just so tired. Why couldn't anyone understand that he didn't want his kids to have this life? Why couldn't his own kids understand that?

Bruce wanted to cry. Or die. Whichever came first really because he really wanted to get out of the cave.

The reason why he didn't want to be in the cave was because of his kids.

Now, he loves his kids. He never wants anything bad to happen. He never wants to see them cry or get hurt. He just wants to see them happy and living happy normal lives. And if he actually had a say in it, then they would have normal lives. But they were all dumbasses. Lovable dumbasses, but dumbasses non the less.

Currently they were all ganging up on him for taking them into this life.

It had all started when Bruce was typing in the report for the night. He had the costume off and the place was silent. Normally meaning that it was going to be interrupted one way or another and one of his kids will storm away from him or in tears and shouting at him. Well he got the first one right, just not the last one. He would be the one in tears shouting at them.

“Hey, Bruce!” exclaimed his oldest son as he walked into the cave, while Barbara wheeled along with him she gave him a small smile before going back talking to Dick.

Bruce just gave a small nod of acknowledgement and continued typing on the batcomputer. Soon, all the other others began joining in and they were all huddled around Barbara and Dick. Normally such behaviour would have worried Bruce, considering the fact that a fight would have broken out now, but he didn't pay attention to it. He really needed to finish his report to get some rest for tomorrow.

How naive could he be to hope it would be that simple?

“Hey Bruce? I have a question.” said Tim as he walked over to him, the others following suit behind him, their faces holding anything but innocence.

“I'm sure it can wait, Tim. I have to finish this report and-” started to say Bruce before he was cut off by Jason.

“Nah it can't wait, actually old man.” snapped his second oldest son as he crossed his arms and glared at Bruce. So it was going to be one of those nights. Bruce really didn't want to get onto a fight with his son, especially after they've been doing so well.

“I just need to finish this report. I'm sure he can ask one of you.” replied Bruce, still focusing his attention on the screen and trying to remain calm. However, it was proving harder than he thought. Maybe he should have listened to Alfred when he said to go and sleep earlier.

“He can't exactly ask us on why you insist on having child soldiers.” Dick replied, slightly peaceful. He was clearly trying to be the meditator while also making it obvious on whose side he was on. However Bruce could really care less right now. He was just trying to stop himself from crying as the question was asked again.

Why can't they see he didn't want this life for any of them? Why can't they understand it wasn't completely his fault?

“Grayson. Say it nicer.” snapped Damian. Even his own son thought he had child soldiers. He would have at least thought he would be on his side, but no such luck.

Bruce fully turned from the computer, his report half finished. He would continue it later when everyone storms out after he accidentally says something emotionally constipated.

“We are not going to have this conversation right-” tried to say Bruce but he was cut off again, this time by Barbara. She looked slightly guilty by what she was going to say, but it was also obvious that she had wanted to say it for a long time.

“I'm sorry Bruce, but we need to have this conversation right now. It's not safe for you to put a child in a costume and force them to go out and save Gotham. It's not sane either.” she added. That little…

“I-” he tried to say something, anything, to defend himself, but he was interrupted yet again. This time by Cassandra. Even her? She thought he would willingly put children in harm's way? His heart started breaking even more.

“I love dad, but dad hurt others.” she said with the limited words she had learnt. Bruce had to hold back a sob at the fact his daughter said she loved him but had yet again thought that he would harm a child.

“If you let-” tried to explain Bruce. He just wanted to explain that he hadn't wanted all of them to go through this shit. He had wanted them to stay happy and love others as much as he loved them. Why couldn't they see that?

“Let you what? Kill another child in your regime. It's bad enough it happened to me, but it also happened to others because you forced them into this shit show.” snarled Jason, looking at Bruce like he was worse that the scum that he fought nightly. Bruce felt his heart crack even more at the look but he kept his face stoic.

“Would you ju-” tried Bruce again, his temper rising. But instead of steam wanting to come out, it was tears. However he was interrupted by Duke. Why did they have to turn Duke? Duke and him were finally connecting. He may never be able to replace his parents, but he could at least be a good guardian.

“Sorry boss, but why? Like yeah, I get it's hard to navigate life at night, but they were just kids.” he asked, looking at him in disappointment. Bruce felt his heart cracking even further but he just continued to remain stoic.

“Can I just-” he tried to snap but Stephanie cut him off. Poor, sweet Stephanie. The one who had the most horrible relationship with him when she was Robin.

“No, you don't get to be pissed with us when it's your fault for starting this fuckery.” snapped Stephanie. Bruce wanted to cry or hit something, say it wasn't his fault, but he just took it. That's at least until Dick’s comment.

“I mean, you had to weaponize my childhood to start this ridiculous thing-” but Bruce cut him off. If they where going to demand for answers then they would fucking receive.

“Excuse me!?!” he snapped at his oldest,causing a look of surprise to be etched on his face. “I didn't even allow you to go out at night.” when it looked like he was going to get interrupted, he just raised his voice. “You were the dumbass to put on a bright red tunic, green panties and a neon yellow cape on. You decided to go out there and try to find your parents killer and kill him. You decided, without any sort of training, to go out there and find a mob boss, who has more experience than you. I told you multiple times not to. However you wouldn't fucking listen so I decided to make sure you didn't die in the fucking process!!” he yelled at Dick, who just stood there, shocked and if he looked just slightly longer he would have noticed the guilt, but he was already moving on to Barbara.

“You decided after solving one fucking mystery at a fucking Halloween party, while dressed in a ridiculous costume, that you would start fighting crime. You continued trying to fight crime, even after I told you not to. You continued even after I threatened to tell your father. I just fucking decide to make sure that you didn't die, giving the commissioner major heartbreak, so be fucking grateful.” be snarled at Barbara. The normally quick witted woman had nothing to say, just stared at Bruce guiltily. He could barely give a shit as he turned to Jason.

“You decided to steal the tires of the fucking batmobile when you saw it, instead of turning around and going somewhere else. You decided to hit me with a tire iron, instead of just giving me my fucking tires back.” he practically screamed at Jason. Jason was looking at Bruce in horror and that's when he realised that tears were running down his face. Fuck, he hadn't even felt it. “I tried teaching you how to put your size to your advantage by using speed, but you fucking insisted just to punch the villains.”

He then turned to Tim, on a roll now. “I told you to fucking go home! I told you not go out there on the streets of Gotham and fight crime. But NO!! You had to fucking take pictures of me and insist that you be my partner even though you had a good life going for you. You had no fucking training prior and since you were obviously not going to fucking listen to me, I decided that the next best thing was to fucking teach you how to defend yourself.” he screamed at Tim. The coffee addict had the sense to look down guilty and look ashamed of himself. But he didn't care. They asked and he would fucking deliver.

“You decided to instead of turning your father to cops, when finding out he was a supervillian, to dress up in a purple costume and fucking fight crime, even after I told you to fucking go home. Even after I was a dick to you, you decided to stay and not take a fucking hint!” shouted Bruce at Stephanie as he turned to her, not caring at the fact that he was crying openly now. Stephanie just stared at him, horror growing in her eyes.

“I told you not to go to Shiva, but you didn't listen to me! I told you not to insert yourself into dangerous situations but you fucking decided to ignore me and go out to Hong Kong!” he yelled at Cassandra. He didn't bother lowering his voice. He was upset and he wanted his mother telling him that he was doing good and he wanted his dad telling him that he'll protect him.

Cass looked at him with wide eyes but Bruce didn't have it in him to care. He just wanted to go to sleep. He quickly turned to his blood son and softened just the tiniest bits.

“I benched you multiple times after I found out your mother had put a hit on you but you decided to change your name to Red Bird and continue to fight crime! Even after I benched you multiple times and explained to you the dangers of going out there. I told you to stay in the cave and away from the evil zombies invading Gotham but you didn't fucking listen! And that's not even scratching the surface!” he yelled at his son. Damian wasn't crying, but he was frowning and looking mighty guilty but Bruce didn't care. He wanted his own dad and he wanted him now.

“You decided to challenge the riddler when you were barely even in the double digits!” he snapped, turning to the newest member of the family and Duke had the sense to look ashamed of himself as he rubbed the back of his neck. “You continued to fight crime, even after I told you to leave it to the professionals and not to get involved with his shit! But you wouldn't listen, so I had to turn you into a professional!”

“I may not have been the best fucking parent out there, but I damn well tried to make sure you lot didn't die! Was I the best at it? No! But I fucking tried to stop you! So don't you fucking dare say I put you in that costume willingly!” he finally screamed. “I just wanted to be a normal dad! I just wanted to give you guys the experience I never had! I tried my hardest to be a good dad to you all, like my parents were to me.”

Slowly he was trailing off, mostly just half sobs and barely even standing, already on the floor, face in his hands as he cried.

Suddenly he felt small arms wrap around him and he didn't have to be the World's Greatest Detective to know it was Damian.

“I apologise to have caused you such great distress, father.” mumbled Damian into his chest. Bruce didn't care, he just cried into his son's hair.

Slowly, other arms wrapped around his shaking figure and there were a multitude of sorrys coming, but he couldn't pinpoint who said what, he was just so, so, so tired.

*

Later on he woke up on his bed, but he felt a small weight on his chest. Looking down, he saw Damian and when he looked around he saw the rest of his children. Even Barbara was on the bed.

Looking around, he saw Alfred walking in and suddenly everything that had happened last night hit him like a train. Alfred just looked at him in sadness and handed him a cookie.

“I see you have decided to join the land of the living, Master Bruce.” said Alfred, the butler not breaking out of his stoic tone and the only way to know that he was actually worried was if you knew him personally.

He just hummed slightly. “Shit, Alfred I had a meeting and-” Bruce began as he tried to discreetly move Damian, however the child was not budging whatsoever.

“Don't worry, Master Bruce. Everything has been taken care of already. You have no work to do for a week and the children have decided, for their own punishment, to take care of everything for you.” replied Alfred already pushing the man down. Bruce just grumbled and ate his cookie.

“What am I supposed to say Alfred? Nothing I say is going to take back how awf-” began Bruce as sudden guilt began to consume him.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Master Bruce. If anything, the children and I have to give our apologies for berating you for so long.” Alfred said, cutting him off. Alfred had a slightly guilty look at the confession and Bruce wanted to soothe him but he was tired and wanted to go to sleep.

“Sleep some more, Master Bruce. I will inform you if you need to worry about anything.” said Alfred. The old butler walked out but cast one last mournful look behind his back.

“He's right you know.” said a muted voice to his right. Bruce turned around and his eyes caught Jason's blue green eyes, which were swimming with guilt.

Bruce didn't say anything, just draped an arm around Jason and brought him closer to him. He felt his jumper wetten a bit but he didn't care. He just let his son cry on his shoulder. Soon all of his other siblings started to wake up and when they all turned to look at Bruce, he could see the immense guilt in their faces.

There were a lot of sorrys going around and when finally he heard Damian say sorry he spoke.

“We all said hurtful things last night. And it might take a while for us all to get back to where we were, but I forgive you all.”said Bruce. He could still feel their guilt but they'd deal with it. Like a family this time.

“Get some sleep old man.” Dick finally said.

“Yeah! I've already taken care of WE.” said Tim.

“Just get some sleep Bruce.” said Stephanie.

"Sleep, father." said his son nuzzling into him.

Soon he was lulled by his children's quiet voices and his world was consumed in darkness

Rapunzel and the Lost Lagoon

As soon as I heard about this book, I put it on my birthday wishlist. But alas, my birthday had come and gone. No Lost Lagoon. Apparently my mom didn’t see it on the wishlist, so that’s why. Flash forward to Christmas Day and I held the book in my hands, which were trembling with excitement. Not really, but you get the idea. I had been waiting to devour this book for months on end and I did. So without further ado, I will present to you this handy-dandy post that encapsulates my thoughts on Lost Lagoon before, during, and after reading. I thought it would be fun to record my expectations and compare them to what I discovered. If you’ve read Lost Lagoon, what did you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts! ❤️

Before Reading

honestly, I’m not quite sure what to expect. All I know is that there’s a lot of moments between Raps and Cass and I am ready for them!

maybe it explains how Cass came to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting? (I hope so because I’ve always wondered this...)

I think I’ll like the book as a whole (I’m hoping I’ll love it)

I’m guessing that it is cute, funny, serious, and adventurous all in one

maybe we’ll learn more about Cass?

will Raps tell Cass about her life in the tower?

what will be the ratio of lighthearted to serious moments? Am I more likely to laugh or cry? Probably both 😅😂😂

this book’s design is absolutely gorgeous! 😍😍😍 I literally just stared at it for a while beginning to read it

During Reading

Rapunzel’s hair hasn’t grown back yet? Oh, it’s her first week in Corona. Okay...

“Something was missing. I was hoping painting would help me find whatever that was, or at least help me end the afternoon on a happy note.” (is this relatable or what? I know not to chase after the elusive beast referred to as happiness, but I do often strive to end the day on a good note because I feel like Satan wins if I don’t)

Friedborg is Arianna’s lady-in-waiting? That makes more sense now. I always feel bad not knowing much about her or her background. I hope she makes some appearances in the book (no sooner did I type this than I look down and skim the scene where she teaches Raps how to sit. Crazy, right?)

Eugene referring to Rapunzel as “my girl” (so sweet 🥰)

“Eugene’s warm brown eyes and mischievous smile are irresistible from any angle” (she’s head over heels, ya’ll 😂💕😂)

first look at Cass 🥰 That’s my girl! Not only does she want to be part of the guard, but she wants to succeed her father as Captain! Go after your dreams, girl! I support you ❤️

“I’d rather shovel sheep dung than mend clothes and gossip.” Mood 😂😂

she recently discovered a hidden spot by using maps of an ancient underground tunnel system? How cool!

okay, but Cass’ animosity towards Raps is fair. And the fact that she refers to her as “that girl”? Priceless

names of nearby nations? Like, yes please!

the irony of Cass piquing Raps’ interest in her by leaving as soon as she can after throwing the shot put 😅😂😂

Cass worrying she got herself in trouble by practicing shot put. Poor thing!

the angst Cass feels towards her dad because he wants her to be a lady-in-waiting when she clearly doesn’t... so relatable (it’s tough when a parent’s expectations and our own dreams/desires don’t match)

I didn’t realize Cass created the maps herself! She’s so determined to prove herself to her dad, it hurts 😭😭

I wonder if the pools in Yultadore are what make up the lost lagoon...

“Her enthusiasm was so shiny and bright I had to squint” (I totally understand this)

pretty boy Eugene and his quips 😂😂

Cass trying to keep her distance from Raps by calling her “Princess” and firmly saying “Goodbye” before shutting and locking the door behind her

So that’s how Cass and Eugene met... okay, cool. Nothing too crazy or weird. I don’t know what I expected but it’s nice to know how their battle of wits began

I’m noticing a pattern in the words used to describe Cass: knowledgeable, brave, etc. I think that’s cool because I feel like her pessimism gets a lot more attention in the series. It’s nice to acknowledge her other qualities as well.

Arianna chose Cass to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting. I always wondered how she got the position. I’m loving how many little things this book is explaining 🥰

Also, just noticed the bird illustrations on the page of every new chapter. I wonder if there’s a pattern...

OWL!!! 😍😍 he literally “senses her distress”. I wish we got to hear about how they met

I wanted to cry for Cass. Poor thing just wants to follow her dreams. I like the way the finality of the decision was described. It’s so tragic 💔

“When Cassandra saw him [Eugene], her face clouded over like a stormy afternoon” 😂😂 I love how Cass doesn’t try to hide her feelings about people. It’s true that she keeps personal things close to her chest, but not when it comes to what she thinks of others. Honesty is the best policy, right?

I love how Cass continuously prompts Raps to keep reading the poem. She’s like, “Yeah, yeah, just get to the good stuff” 😂

about that poem... maybe it’s from Herz Der Sonne’s perspective. Could the “truth sealed in precious stones” be a reference to Zhan Tiri’s disciples and how they were trapped within stones? And what about the three gems? What’s the emerald tapestry supposed to be? Does it reference Saporia? I HAVE TOO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

“A few times I thought I heard some rustling behind me, but I kept going” (me: yeah, Raps is definitely following her) 😂

me when I realize the “emerald tapestry” is grass: 🙃

why is Cass so fearful around water? Did someone try to drown her? someone please tell me who is responsible so I can PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE 😅🤣

painfully ironic how Rapunzel can swim despite being locked in a tower all her life and Cass can’t

Raps nonchalantly offering to teach Cass how to swim just warms my heart 🥰❤️

okay, so Cass is responsible for her fear of water. That’s almost worse because it invites shame and self-hatred, which makes it more difficult to push against that fear or overcome it 😔

the importance of Raps agreeing to help Cass even after realizing she doesn’t want to be her lady-in-waiting is HUGE. This is something I feel like should have happened throughout Season 1 but never did (Raps supporting Cass and trusting that she has a good reason for things even if she doesn’t understand)

“But now I have to teach you which fork to eat your waffles with and stuff” 😂

the first time they call each other Cass and Raps 🥰😍🥰😍

woah, I didn’t expect there to be a time jump. I should have known because I kept wondering why they would depict Rapunzel with her blonde hair on the cover if this takes place before it comes back. Anyways...

I forgot to take notes as I read the majority of part 2. I’m currently a chapter or two away from part 3 and all I have to say is that something bad is about to happen. I can feel it. Dahlia’s definitely shady and so is Marco. I suspected Marie earlier but now I’m not sure. She wasn’t obvious until she was but now she’s not again so maybe she is guilty after all? Either way, Raps is making dumb decisions and I’m over here yelling at her to get her life together before she gets killed or kidnapped (whichever comes first, I guess) 😅🙃

Cass is absolutely roasting Rapunzel and I am here for it! Don’t mind me just munching away on my popcorn over here 🍿

Cass said she’s finally gonna leave Corona so I bet Raps will fess up and tell her that Dahlia’s been helping her with the painting for Cass so Cass will let her guard down and think Dahlia’s okay after all. But... she won’t be and they’re gonna realize she was the bad guy after all 😎

didn’t think Cass would get attacked 😅 also, the fact that she is highly skilled and powerful yet trips and twists her ankle is such a mood. Like, that’s literally me in a nutshell. She is beauty, she is grace, and she falls flat on her face 🤣🤣 while I’m here, I’m guessing Marco is her attacker because he probably has a rough voice

Okay, so I guess Dahlia really is innocent then... idk, I still think she could be up to something

I WAS RIGHT!

Marco’s the bad guy and things just escalated quickly cause now he’s got a knife against Cass’ throat 😳😬😵

so Dahlia’s innocent after all... I thought she or Marie might be working with Marco but I guess not (kinda disappointed to be honest)

okay so this Dahlia chick is exasperatingly hilarious 😂😂 she legit took part of Raps’ bookcase to use for an art piece. Like, who does that?

“Pascal shook his head, totally fed up” me too bud, me too 🤣

After Reading

so I did get to see how Cass and Raps first met (also how she first met Eugene as well)

I like how they combined their talents and passions at the end to create the map painting

There were a bunch of lines that made me laugh, although there were just as many that hit me like a knife to the chest (pretty much anything angsty from Cass’ POV) so I like how it made me feel all the feels (I felt like an investigator trying to figure out who the bad guy was and that was a blast 😆)

overall it was pretty good. I did feel like the characters were off (Arianna seemed like she swapped personalities with Frederick at times and Eugene apologized for joking Cass- as if!), but other than that I enjoyed it. There were a bunch of new characters being introduced so it was somewhat hard to tell who was bad and who wasn’t but I guessed correctly in the end. I was hoping there would be more than one bad guy but oh well.

I’m glad I read it because now I know a few extra things about Corona and its surrounding countries (plus I can finally read through all the Lost Lagoon related tumblr posts I saved for later... I was waiting until I read the book and here I am!)

If anyone needs me, I’ll be going through LL tumblr posts. I should definitely be sleeping but that’s not important 😅😂😂

The Wolf and His Fire

@ma-serannas-vhenan I wanted to tag you bc I wanted to see how you like this bc it took me so long to write it hrjfs.

EDIT: This is so long my bad-

Just Solas talking about Bloom (my Lavellan) and her fire and how he loves it. And some background info you’ll need:

Bloom is a mage and her main element is fire. She can burn a hole in the ground if she wished. Can create a ring of Fire any size within seconds. She’s very powerful with fire, but it causes her pain. If she does fire in a spell or action, she’d be okay. But if she does a lot, it can make her feel dizzy, but at some point it can make her over heat and pass out. It can even make her die. And she can make her hands warm and warm up things, so it’s not all bad :))). However, the other side of this pain is that when she’s sad, she is ice cold. Her body is freezing and she never can warm herself up, her fire magic basically drained away. Its only when she’s surrounded by other people that she loves and loves her in return will her fire slowly gain power. Let me love my disney-ish idea of powers-  Anyways, here we go, hope it’s good👀.

Solas is sitting in the cell at Haven, holding the prisoners hand. She’s passed out and he worries a bit for her, but he’s more focused on her hand. It’a glowing green and pulsating. Solas touches her hand and she flexes her hand and lets out a groan. He assumes that it’s painful for her. He doesn’t know what it is, and it’s very intriguing to him. But he also noticed how hot her skin feels.

‘Is she running a fever?’ he thinks. He rests the back of his hand against her forehead and feels that it is hot as well. Then his attention is brought back to the hand he’s holding when it pulsates and the woman lets out a loud groan of pain. Now the hand that is resting on her chest is glowing orange, the color that matches her ginger hair. He turns it over and jumps back a bit when he suddenly sees a little ball of fire erupt from her hand before it disappeared as soon as it came. He hears her let out another moan of pain and he does feel a little guilty. He decides to stay here for a little while.

He puts his hand on her forehead and flows some magic into her. It’s supposed to help with the pain she has, but he doubts it will do much. This is something he hasn’t seen before, so he tries all he can, and hopes for the best. But to his surprise, the fire in her hand keeps coming back. Her hand would twitch and the fire ball would appear. It was confusing to him, and he just watched until a guard brought her to her own room. He decides to look at it a bit later.

.

.

Her hand felt warm when he pushed it towards the rift, hoping that it would do something. He let her hand go when it closed and she looked at him with a scared like look. “What did you do?” She held her hand with the mark and then looked intrigued. “It’s what you did,” he said with a soft smile. She gave him one back when she noticed him looking at her. “That was some fire, girly,” Varric said with a little laugh. The woman laughed back at him and nodded. “My fire is my main element or strong suit, whatever.” She decided to give an example by opening her right hand and making a fire start in her own hands. “That’s interesting,” Solas said aloud on accident. The woman looked back at him with another smile. “I know, right?! It’s my favorite thing to do.” The woman was so excited but was brought back to the situation when Cassandra grunted at Varric. “We will put that fire to test. We have to keep moving!” The woman nodded at Cassandra and had determination written on her face as they moved forward to another rift. 

.

.

“How is your magic that powerful?” Bloom looked towards Solas as they walked. They were looking for ram meat for the village of Hinterlands and they walked together. “I’m not sure. Fire has just been my strong suit,” she said with a laugh at the end. She looked at her hand that was gloved. Solas noticed that she always wore gloves, never seeming to want to show her hands. Well, at least around anyone but herself. “I used to be more powerful, but that’s not important.” She looked at him with a smile, but he knew she was hiding something.

Her smile and words sounded bright usually, but now they sounded sad and she hesitated with every word, which wasn’t like her. She was strong, determined, and confident, but Solas wonders if she really is any of those. Before he could think of anything else, he heard Cassandra yell that there was trouble. He looked up and saw mages together, ready to attack them. He and Bloom looked at each other and nodded. She ran forward and her staff was already out and she was already glowing with fire. It surrounded her making her look as if she was the fire itself. However, she was careful and never burned any of her friends. It was amazing to him. But he snapped out of his weird trance and joined the fight. The fire in his peripheral vision brought a smile to his face. She sure was full of fire.

.

.

“I felt the whole world change.” For some reason, he felt a little anxious to turn and look at her, but he did and he saw something in her eyes. He doesn’t know what it is but he liked it. She stared at him for a few seconds before saying in a low voice, “Sweet talker.” He felt her gaze being too hot (how surprising) and he had to look away for a second, but she wouldn’t let that happen. She moved his head to face her and she kissed him. His lips were warm but then cold when she pulled away. She looked embarrassed and tried to turn away, but Solas wasn’t going to let that happen.

He gently pulled her hips towards him as he slammed his lips against hers. They were warm and not chapped. They felt so soft. He pulled back and she looked surprised, but a smile spread across her face as he shook his head and went in for another kiss. This time it was more passionate and he put everything into it. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he felt warmth start there. He began to heat up and it didn’t stop at his shoulders. It spread through his entire body. And then one kiss turned into multiple. The fire continued to spread over his body, and it felt good. This warmth was a warm you would feel against a fire making s’mores or a fire that you stand around when you’ve been outside in the snow all day.

He knows he should stop. This cant continue, this is a mistake, this is a distraction. She is a distraction, but he couldn’t think anymore. He just wanted to engulf himself in Blooms flames.

.

.

He stared at his desk in the Rotunda. He scolded himself for letting it get that far, for even thinking of being with her, but the idea wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop thinking of Bloom and the way her lips tasted sweet, she tasted like hot chocolate which brought a smile to his lips now. “Of course she would be something hot,” he said aloud. He crossed his arms as he tried to read a book and he felt the warmth on his arms. His eyes closed and he felt at peace as he thought of her. Her ginger hair, the way she snorted when she laughed, the way her hands are soft even through the gloves she wore, and the way she smiled at him.

It brought him warmth without her powers and he loves it. And that’s when he opens his eyes and realizes what he feels. Love. He loves her. Or that’s what it feels like. Feelings are everywhere and he doesn’t know what’s going on. His heart beats faster when she looks at him, when she makes sure he’s okay in battle, and when she kissed him. His heart is everywhere and he lets out a sigh. ‘The heart is weird’ he thinks to himself. His thoughts of her are interrupted when he hears footsteps. He looks over to the entrance and sees Bloom walking in with a smile and he can’t help but smile back. And even as she teases him until he cant think, he still smiles, but he does have to tell her he needs time. He believes he loves her, but he’d rather be sure and not hurt either of them. 

.

.

“Don’t go.”

It was all she said. She told him one, simple command, and he felt himself turn to led for a second. Her hand wasn’t hot like normal. It was...cold. He didn’t like it and didn’t understand why. And as he stood there for only a few seconds, all of his feelings hit him like a train and he knew how he felt. He loves her. 

“But losing you would...”. He doesn’t finish his sentence and leans in to kiss her. Her lips were soft, once again, but she was cold. It only lasted for a second, however. His cheeks began to become warm from where her hands were placed. He moved his hands down to her hips and she was hot. Before it could go further and lose his courage, he pulled away and looked at her blue eyes for a moment. They were shining in the late sunlight and her hair looked even more beautiful. And he finally noticed that she has freckles. He leaned in and kissed where her freckles were and told her what he wanted to. 

“Ar lath ma, vhenan.”

And as the words left his mouth, he saw her face light up, but he could not face her now. Not yet. 

.

.

He awoke from the Fade to find himself in a place unknown. He wasn’t on the couch in the Rotunda, and after literally a second of looking around, he knew he was in Blooms room, and he felt warmth behind him, so he rolled around and saw something that he loves with his heart. He saw Bloom laying on the bed, wearing his shirt, and looking at peace. It was rare to see her at this much peace. She was always fighting, talking with nobles that bored her, and dealt with the gossip behind her back. But here...she was at peace, and he loves it. Her ginger hair was down, a beautiful sight only he got to see, and shining in the sunrise. She was beautiful and he loves her. He loves her with his being. A part of his mind was telling him ‘No. Stop. This is nonsense’. But he didn’t listen, he ignored it, pushed it away. He doesn’t know what will happen in the future, but he doesn’t care right now. He just looks at his Vhenan with the softest eyes.

He placed his hand on her cheek and stroked his thumb where her freckles were. They made her look so young and she was, and he chuckles on the inside. He’s forgotten how old he is and wonders if she would even love an old man such as he if she knew. However, he couldn’t think long when she suddenly opened her eyes with a groan. “Solas,” she was with a smile. Her blue eyes were glowing and she seemed so bright already. It caused his heart to flutter and his smile brightened. “Good morning, Vhenan.” A blush rose on her cheeks and it spread to the tip of her ears. “My heart, huh?” Her soft smile turned into a teasing smirk. “I’m that important to you?” This time she looked happy but also questioning. It’s as if this was a sort of test, and he was going to pass it. “Yes, Bloom. You are everything to me, and not just my heart. You are my soul and the fire to my ice.” He grabbed her hand and placed it over his heart and he felt the familiar warmth start there. A warmth he began to love and a warmth he craved everyday. He noticed her hand was shaking and he feared that he went to far, but before he could say an apology or anything else, she smiled and kissed him. It was a soft and gentle kiss, his favorite kind of kiss. She pulled away and rested her forehead on his.

“You are my soul and my heart as well, Solas. I think of you whenever I leave Skyhold and you’re not at my side, I think of every moment we’ve ever shared when I am in doubt, and when my fire is out of control and untamed when I’m fighting...I think of you and what you would do.” She was embarrassed to open her eyes, but she did and it was his turn to be in shock. They both erupted into laughter and hugged each other tight. They love each other and that’s the most beautiful thing to Solas.

And the most important thing in his life for this moment.

.

.

“Solas...”

She whispered his name as he backed up. They were in Crestwood and he was going to tell her everything, yet he couldn’t. He looked in her blue eyes and something stopped him, so he broke it off. ‘This is for the best,’ he thought. He backed up from her and released her hand, and it got rid of all of the warmth in his body. The flames that were inside of him suddenly gone cold. 

“Please, Vhenan,” he said, his voice shaking a bit. He tried to keep his face calm, not wanting to show how much this was killing him. But when she grabbed his hand again and got closer to him, the mask broke.

“Solas...don’t leave me. Not now. I love you.” Her words were rushed and her eyes glossy with tears, and he knew tears were in his as well. But that warmth wasn’t back. Were her flames cold as well? But he just shook his head slowly. “You have a rare and marvelous spirit. In another world...”. He couldn’t finish because she cut him off, her words were desperate, sounding odd coming from Bloom. “Why not this one?” He shook his head again and got his hand from her tight grip, but she keeps following him, and he keeps backing away.

“I can’t.” He holds his hands up as he backs away, needing her not to touch him. If she did...he wouldn’t be able to walk away. And he...thinks he should. “I’m sorry.” It’s the last thing he says as he turns around and walks away, but he manages to see those tears finally falling down her face when he turns away, and his finally fall as well when he turns away, and he walks. He walks and he walks until his feet hurt, and then he finally feels the wind blow against him. It’s freezing. Was it always like this? Or is it only now? Only the day he lost his fire.

.

.

Bloom lays in the bed, almost all her clothes shed off, and she lays under the covers of the bed. Alone. Cold. Empty. Corypheus has been defeated, yet she didn’t feel happy. Her bones were cold and she felt like she couldn’t get up without shivering. She hears someone enter and doesn’t have the strength to get up and see who it is. “Bloom.” It’s Cassandra and her voice isn’t determined like it normally is. It’s soft and worried. She gets up slowly to sit up in the bed, still under the covers. She was only wearing a cloth covering her chest and black shorts on. She was hot yet cold. 

“Yes?” She put on her Inquisitor voice, but Cassandra knew it was fake. She came closer to Bloom and sat next to her. “I know you’re not doing well, and I’m not good at this kind of stuff, but I’m worried for you.” Cassandra looked at Bloom and she was serious. Her concern was radiating off of her and Bloom found it sweet. “It’s hard, Cassandra.” She managed to get those words out, her teeth chattering together as she talked. “It only gets like this when I’m sad, believe it or not.” She laughed softly but Cassandra only looked more worried. She pulled Bloom to her and gave her a tight hug. Bloom was confused for a moment, not knowing what to do, but her emotions caught up with her and she let out a little sob...and more followed. Cassandra just held her there, offering her her own warmth and love to help her. And it did.

She slowly was able to get up again, her limbs didn’t feel stiff anymore, she could conjure up a small fire, she had strength to see Varric and Cole, and then she finally felt her fire come back to her. She finally felt hot on the inside (even if she didn’t like it a bit). Her flames were now her own again and she was Bloom Lavellan. The Inquisitor. A heart to a man who has left her alone

And she wasn’t going to let Solas get away from her.

.

.

And here they were. Bloom trapped Solas in a ring of her own fire. She was covered in the fire, but it wasn’t burning her. It never burned her. And Solas finally realized it wasn’t burning him either. It was such a huge space as if they were giants fighting each other, but he didn’t pay attention to that. His focus was on Bloom and they way she was shaking. He saw blood on the chest plate, cuts on her face, but the thing that worried him most was the fact that she had a ball of fire in her hand and it was shaking. Her fire was weak and it only happened when she pushed herself too far or was breaking down emotionally. 

“Solas. Please don’t make me do this!” Her words were shouted and very....desperate. Bloom was strong during the other battles, he witnessed it. Her fire was spreading everywhere, her soldiers were strong, and she did so well. He was proud of her, and he wasn’t surprised. ‘Of course she would be amazing’ he thought. He wanted to respond but didn’t know how. The last time he spoke to her was when he broke her heart even more, and when he destroyed his once again. “Vhenan...”. It was the only word he was able to speak. And then he witness the fire in her hand blow out and her fall to her knees, not even managing to catch herself. He forgot everything in this moment and ran to her. The ring of fire was flickering, it losing its power, yet he continued to run. When he reached her and held her in his arms, she was losing her warmth. Bloom was always hot and he loves it, but now she was warm and he felt it growing colder. 

She was dying. They both knew it. “Oh, Vhenan. What have I done?” He laid his hand against her cheek and saw her freckles again. It was the first thing his eyes saw and he remembers kissing them every morning. She moved her hand, slowly from the pain, and laid it against his cheek. “Hey, Vhenan. Nice to see you here,” she said, her voice shaking with every word and she tried to laugh at the end, but ended with a coughing fit. Blood was leaving her mouth and they knew they had limited time together. “Bloom, I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. You’re dying,” he rushed out. He looked up and saw all the fire everywhere slowly flickering out, and it was hurting him, even more than the pain of the fighting he did. And then it hit him as he saw all this fire.

None of it was necessary. The ring was huge and they didn’t need that much space to talk, some random parts of the area were on fire, he heard soldiers dying because of her fire and no other spells, only fire was used from her, and it lead to this. “Bloom...why did you use only your fire? It will kill you,” he whispered out. She looked at him for a moment and wanted to flick his forehead. “Of course, dummy. I had a plan you see? Use all my fire and die if I couldn’t save you and this world.” Her voice was so shaky and weak and he hated it. He didn’t know what to say to her, so he placed his forehead against hers and whispered words of love to her, a final goodbye, not realizing Bloom lied to him. He was in a rush that he didn’t notice the way she was lying. One hand was still beside her body and it had a dagger. It was a dagger she used when she ran out of fire, and now she did, but it wasn’t used for any of the soldiers. “I love you, ma Vhenan...and I’m sorry,” she said as a tear fell down her face. Solas pulled away and looked at her confused, and didn’t have time to stop her as she used the last of her fire, made the knife be the fire he loved, and plunged it deep into his chest.

He looked down at his chest and he didn’t know what to do as he felt it. That fire. That warmth that was familiar, even if it was causing him pain. The memories of her and him came to his mind for a quick second. All the glances, warm touches, kisses, the laughs, dances, and the love all came back to him. It hit him like a train and forgot about the pain for a second, even if it was killing him. He looked back at her and pulled a piece of her hair and placed it behind her ear. “It’s okay,” he told her and he meant it. She would do whatever it took to protect the people she loves, and if she couldn’t save him, then she’d die with him. “Varric better write stories about you,” he said with a smile. Bloom smiled back at the small joke and the last of her fire went out and her eyes closed. The dagger slowly lost his warmth, and so did he. And he took his last breath beside his Vhenan.

.

.

OKAY SO THAT LAST PARTS NOT THAT GOOD BUT I RLLY LOVE THE REST SNQHS. I hope you like it too >:))). And I think I put all my ideas in here even if the last part took me so long to think of vbfik. I always use that idea of Lavellan killing Solas as she dies as well bc...honestly that’d be a kinda cool ending in a way even if its very Sad and probably won’t happen. 

And there’s proof reading but if there’s mistakes then my bad :(.

A little one shot for one of my Inquisitors, Eletha Lavellan.

I don’t own the dialogue! Only the thoughts and actions of my Inquisitor!

Warning: some cussing!

Eletha was exhausted. Her days hunting with her clan could never have prepared her for the war she was fighting. Her muscles ached and her fingers felt numb curled around her staff. The demons she fought chilled her to the bone, although she’d never admit that. There was danger in allowing this Cassandra woman to witness any weakness in her. Eletha had a distinct feeling this woman wasn’t convinced that she wasn’t the cause of the explosion at the Conclave.

The fucking Conclave.

She felt the irritation boil under her skin at the thought of the event. She knew she should have turned down Keeper Deshanna’s request. She didn’t understand the Keeper’s desire to get involved in the shem’s business, but she trusted her, she still did despite the disaster it turned into.

Under her irritation burned a different, more dangerous feeling. She was furious at what transpired. She held no love for the Chantry, the Mages, or the Templar’s, but the thought of their slaughter made her ears ring. In addition, someone put this mark on her hand and the Shem’s Maker be damned, she wanted it off.

More demons up ahead interrupted her thoughts, Cassandra beside her let out a yell and ran forward and Eletha was quick to fire off spells at their enemies. She had to admit, this woman was a force, she was rather content to be fighting with her as opposed to against her for the time being. Cassandra knocked the last demon off balance with her shield and quickly stabbed it through the middle. She gestured to Eletha and they were moving once more.

“We’re getting close to the rift. You can hear the fighting.” Cassandra yelled back at her.

“Who’s fighting?” Eletha asked cautiously, hoping she wasn’t being led to her demise.

“You’ll see soon. We must help them.”

Cassandra’s statement had an air of finality that Eletha didn’t wish to push and so she followed the woman silently, and she did soon see who was fighting.

Eletha was certain that she did not want to go anywhere near the glowing mass that hung over their heads, but it seemed Cassandra was giving her little choice. They rushed into yet another fight, as soon as one batch was killed another came through the rift. Eventually there was a momentary lull, but Eletha was not allowed a breath before an Elven man grabbed her wrist.

“Quickly, before more come through!”

The man thrust her hand towards the rift and she watched in horror as some kind of green magic flew out of her. The rift closed and Eletha quickly snatched her wrist from the man’s hand, rubbing at it lightly.

“What did you do?” She questioned wearily.

“I did nothing.” The man claimed, “The credit is yours.”

Eletha scoffed lightly at that statement. “You mean this?” She said as she gestured to the mark scarring her hand.

The man’s lips thinned.

“Whatever magic opened the breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand.” The man stated, “I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the breach’s wake- it seems I was correct.”

“Meaning it could also close the breach itself.” Casandra added in

“Possibly.” The man agreed.

Eletha nodded along as she tried to process the conversation. They seemed to have overestimated her intelligence, she thought wryly.

“It seems you hold the key to our salvation.” The elven man stated.

“Good to know!”

Eletha turned her attention to the Dwarf approaching them.

“Here I thought we’d be ass-deep in demons forever.” He quipped. Eletha snorted a little, appreciating his choice of phrasing.

The Dwarf turned towards her.

“Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong.” He introduced himself, throwing a tiny smirk at Cassandra.

Feeling slightly overwhelmed, she merely smiled at him before noticing the rather large weapon on his back.

“That’s… a nice crossbow you have there.”

Varric’s eyes lit up. “Ah, isn’t she? Bianca and I have been through a lot together.”

Eletha giggled lightly at his statement.

“You named your crossbow Bianca?”

“Of course. And she’ll be great company in the valley.” Eletha knew the last part of his dialogue was not pointed at her.

Cassandra quickly let her know who he was speaking to.

“Absolutely not. Your help is appreciated, Varric, but…”

Eletha couldn’t decide if Cassandra liked or disliked the Dwarf.

“Have you been in the valley lately, Seeker? Your soldiers aren’t in control anymore. You need me.” Varric said confidently.

Judging by Cassandra’s noise of disgust, Eletha was leaning towards dislike.

The Elven man once again caught her attention.

“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I’m pleased to see you still live.”

“He means, ‘I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.’” Varric said from behind her.

“You seem to know a great deal about it all.” Eletha gently questioned.

Solas seemed happy enough to speak about it, but Cassandra interrupted. “Solas is an apostate, well-versed in such matters.”

Once again Solas’ face showed his disapproval. “Technically, all mages are now apostates” He stated clearly to Cassandra. Turning back to her, he said,

“My travels have allowed me to learn much of the fade, far beyond the experience of any circle mage. I came to offer whatever help I can give with the Breach.”

Solas pauses for a moment, seeming to choose his words carefully.

“If it is not closed, we are all doomed regardless of origin.”

Eletha felt a degree of admiration for this man, but was still distrustful of these people she only just met.

“And why will you do once this is all over?” She asked.

His next statement was directed towards her, but she knew he was truly speaking to Cassandra.

“One hopes that those in power will remember who helped, and who did not.”

Eletha nodded, understanding the weight of his words.

“Cassandra, you should know: the magic here is unlike any I have ever seen. Your prisoner is a mage. However, I find it difficult to imagine any mage having such power.”

Eletha shuddered at his words. She knew the price of power and she was unsure she wanted to find out what this would cost her. It seemed that she had no other options, however. This mark would kill her if she was on her own. She zoned out the words of her companions, following behind them. They fought through more demons and, although Eletha was still wary, she did appreciate the extra manpower.

The group continued on their way until they were finally on a small bridge, roaring with activity. Eletha saw the woman who held Cassandra back earlier arguing with a man. The man obviously believed she was guilty and was quick to try and throw his words at her like knives. In the end, Eletha discovered Cassandra is as deadly with her words as she is her sword.

The pain in her hand is becoming unbearable, if they continue arguing she will keel over before they make it anywhere.

“I say we charge. I won’t survive long enough for your trial. Whatever happens, happens now.” And they are once again moving.

They move efficiently, but Eletha has to force herself not to look at the corpses they pass. She hates the weight her decisions can carry. She breathes deeply as they go to keep her cool. They are soon faced with yet another rift. They jump into the fray, the sound of yells, and metal and claws ripping through flesh roaring around them. Eletha grips her staff harder, trying to still the shaking of her hands.

A large demon rushes towards her and she attacks with all her might. She cast spell after spell, but the terror seems unaffected, still swiping at her viciously. His blows are coming faster and getting harder to dodge until she can’t and she is knocked to the ground. The demon looms over her and she’s sure that she’s done for. She wants to close her eyes, but fear glued them open. The demon lifts his gruesome hand but before he can sweep it down to her a sword appears through its middle.

The demon falls and in its place stands a tall man, and she doesn’t know if it’s only the relief when she thinks he’s the most beautiful things she’s ever seen. He holds his hand out to her and effortlessly she is up and he is fighting again.

When the last demon is down and the rift is closed, the beautiful man walks towards Cassandra.

“Lady Cassandra, you managed to close the rift? Well done.” He says.

“Do not congratulate me, commander. This is the prisoners doing.”

Commander? She feels her eyebrows raise slightly and turns towards him. She finds his eyes already on her with an unidentifiable look in them.

“Is it? I hope they are right about you. We’ve lost a lot of people getting you here.”

Eletha felt a shot of guilt. She never wanted people to die for her, even though she knows it isn’t truly her they care about.

“You’re not the only one hoping that.”

If her words surprise the commander she can’t tell, he merely smiles at her and says.

“We’ll see soon enough, won’t we.”

Filled with conviction, she nods to him.

“The way to the temple should be clear. Leliana will try to meet you there.”

“Then we’d best move quickly. Give us time, Commander.”

The Commander's face looked simultaneously hopeful and grim.

“Maker watch over you- for all our sakes.”

As Eletha watched him run to help a soldier she decided if she was about to run into a death sentence she could pretend the handsome commander's words were only for her.

Hello, I’m Katie, this is my sunshine daughter Balo, and you’re watching Disney Channel! Jokes aside though, I’m so excited to bring Balo back and while not much has changed (truly this is nothing more than a continuation where I only omit plots my partner doesn’t want to revive), have a new intro / bio anyway because... I felt like it ok.  I’ll be good and not ramble too ungodly long though so without further ado - another one of my excessively long intro posts:

TWs: Child Abuse / Abuse, Alcoholism (not Balo’s, but her dad’s), Eating Disorders (anorexia nervosa)

Is that BALIAN “BALO” DRISKELL? Wow, they do look a lot like CANDICE SWANEPOEL. I hear SHE is/are a SEVENTEEN year old JUNIOR who originally attended LUXOR Academy. Word is they are a(n) REGULAR student. You should watch out because they can be NAIVE and SENSITIVE, but on the bright side they can also be OPTIMISTIC and BUBBLY. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.  [KATIE, 23, EST, SHE/HERS]

Last Edit: 8/26/2020

★ basics;

Full Name: Balian “Balo” Grace Driskell Age: 17 Birthday: February 7th, 2003 at 08:06 am Sexual Orientation:  Balo really doesn’t label it (although I like to say bisexual, biromanitc to make my own life easier), she always just falls for who she falls for regardless of gender. If you ask her exactly, she’d probably say MOGAI though. Relationship Status: Kinda dating Caitriona but it’s unofficial Occupation: Student Nationality: American

★ classes;

Communications

French

Geometry

U.S. History

Fashion design

Visual Art

Pilates

★ extracurriculars;

Arts Club (Member)

Balo also used to be a Cheerleader (Flyer) and part of the Gymnastics team but due to her leaving / concerns about her health, she was required to step down, much to her devastation.

★ background;

Place of Birth: Rochester, New York Hometown: Saratoga Springs, New York Health Issues: Eating Disorder (Anexoria) Traumas: Abuse (Constant/Ongoing - from her father)

★ physical;

Faceclaim: Candice Swanepoel Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Blonde Height: 5′11” -- not at fc height because I don’t wanna change her height with the new fc Weight: 120 lbs - give or take Tattoos, Birthmarks, Scars, etc: Nothing I find a need to link at the moment.

★  zodiac;

Tropical

Sun: Aquarius Moon: Aries Mercury: Capricorn Venus: Capricorn Mars: Sagittarius Jupiter: Leo Saturn: Gemini Uranus:   Aquarius Neptune: Aquarius Pluto: Sagittarius Lilith: Aries N Node: Gemini

Placidus Orb

I ASC: Pisces II: Aries III: Taurus IV: Gemini V: Cancer VI: Leo VII: Virgo VIII:  Libra IX: Scorpio X MC: Sagittarius XI: Capricorn XII: Aquarius

★ relatives;

Father’s Full Name: Lance Driskell Father’s Status: Alive Father’s Occupation: Restaurant Owner Mother’s Full Name: Cassandra “Cassidy” Driskell Mother’s Status: Alive Mother’s Occupation: Waitress at a local diner (not Lance’s place) Siblings: 1 older sister and 2 older brothers

Driskell Children Oldest to Youngest:

Ivan Marsden (22, attending school in England)

Grace Driskell (19, in California for school)

Zander Driskell (LINK TO HIS INTRO)

Balo Driskell

Here is a link to the Driskell family page if you’d like to know more about her family.

★ misc;

Hobbies and Talents: Balo’s a sketch artist and painter who tends to focus on realism, in particular realistic humans and animals. It’s her true passion and I have an inspo section for her sketchbook here! She’s also quite flexible and skilled at gymnastics, part of why it’s bothering her she can’t participate currently because she loves it and she’s good at it - making her removal from the team eat at her even more.

Pinterest Section  // Musings Tag // Playlist

- Balo’s kind of a literal ray of sunshine who believes (almost) everyone is truly good at heart. While she tries to see the best in everyone, no matter what, she truly can’t see it in her father, a fact she feels extremely guilty over it. - She loves art, sketching and painting especially, and she always dreamed of being some sort of artist. While her mother encouraged it every chance she got, her father is truly a different story. - Balo is very easy to manipulate and I encourage it constantly. - She truly just wants to love and befriend everyone, while it’s not really too hard to make her cry, usually you’ll see Balo running around with a smile trying to brighten everyone’s day. This is an issue because she’ll put everyone around her before herself every time, your happiness is a priority before hers. Again, making her easy to manipulate. (So I welcome manipulating Balo and love it when it occurs, please feel free to do so at any point) - Her best friend / favorite person in the entire world at this point is Logan Keller, mention him only if you really wanna see this girl light up like a 4th of July fireworks show. (They’re still in touch, for those of you who remember him from when Jia was playing him here!) - Balo recently got out of extensive inpatient for her eating disorder so while she’s doing a lot better, she’s really doesn’t want it to be the main topic of conversation either. She's okay and back at Luxor and she feels that’s the most important thing at the end of the day.

★ bio; TWs: Child Abuse / Abuse, Alcoholism, Eating Disorders (anoxeria, weight loss, and complications from both)

“'Cause I know that nothing good comes easy, if it did, I wouldn't be me.”

If there was one quote that fit Balo Driskell’s life to a t, that would be it. Nothing was truly easy in the Driskell’s home, she was the youngest of three children - an amount that her mother never wanted to have, and would do whatever it took to stay at after this point. Anytime her father walked in after work, the stench of alcohol clung to. She could smell it on her breath every time he yelled, each time he threw things, anytime he hit her. One could have easily convinced the young girl that all families were like this, that everyone covered up bruises and pretended they were much happier than they actually were if it wasn’t for her mother.

Perhaps Casandra Driskell never wanted her children, but she loved them with her entire heart. She’d sneak her children money, things they weren’t allowed to have - guitars, paints, canvases, sheet-music, legos, and whatever else her father deemed banning fit at a moment's notice. She wasn’t always around, working a job at the local diner, but when she was she did everything in her power to protect her children. It was never enough, though.

Lance Driskell still hurt his children close to daily, whether it was smashing Grace’s guitar over her head the moment he found it, pulling Balo down the stairs by her hair, or lashing Zander with his belt - there were quite a few times where a Driskell had to go the hospital and the family had to lie through their teeth to keep people from looking too closely at them at their mother’s urging. If it was investigated the three children would be separated, they would lose their mother, or at least that’s what they were told - and none of them wanted that. It became common for one child to intervene for another if they could, Zander especially taking the brunt of the punishments for his sisters.

It was part of loving someone in the Driskell home, trying to keep everyone else safe no matter the cost it had on you.

Her childhood wasn’t all bad, however, there were quite a few silver-linings in the dark cloud called the Driskell home. She had a close friendship with her siblings and her mother, and she has plenty of fond memories with them. Christmas was always peaceful, as her father always took that shift at his restaurant and refused to celebrate the holiday with them - a time where he couldn’t taint the joy inside of the Driskell home. She could paint when her father wouldn’t catch her in the act, something she loved doing (and she still does every chance she gets), and she had Logan. Logan Keller was her next-door neighbor and her best friend. If you saw one of them, the other probably wasn’t too far behind. In many ways, he was her person - someone she felt like she could go to with nearly anything (she could never discuss home with him at this point, of course, but everything else she could and she did). 

And then the Driskells moved away and it was like the world was ripped out from under her feet - leaving her spiraling and looking for some sort of control. Her new friend didn’t help matters much either, constantly encouraging her to “shed the weight” they swore she gained. She soon found this sense of “control” in the form of her eating disorder, careful attempts to keep herself as thin as she could, of restricting her food every chance she could.  It wasn’t healthy, far from it, but it fulfilled the desire to have some semblance of control over her life.

Sending the children to Luxor had been an easy decision for Cassandra the second the children were able to attend, a way to ship them off to safety while not being too far away from home. While it pained her a first to be away from her mother, eventually she began to understand. She was safe while at school, and at the end of the day, that was what mattered the most to her mother, right? It wasn’t hard to get into the flow of life at the school, staying at school and only coming home for the breaks that the school refused to keep students during. It broke her heart when Lance shipped Ivan to England and told him not to come home (a thought that still pains her to this day), after the boy served his use, and it only grew harder when Grace graduated and moved to California. But she was happy at Luxor, in spite of everything.

And in a way, her love for the school only grew after the merge. Now there were twice as many people to befriend and support, and in the process, she realized something she had been missing had been under her nose for a while. Logan was attending school at Luxor too, and all of a sudden, she had her person in her life again. At the time she felt on top of the world, regardless of the circle beginning to stir up issues.

And then, suddenly, she was knocked right back down to the ground.

First Logan was kidnapped and forced to deliver the message, and then he was forced to go home for personal reasons. The support she had so quickly grown used to having was seemingly being ripped out from her yet again. While he was still in touch, continuing to be her rock, her eating disorder only continued to spiral out of control. And no matter how much she tried to pretend she was fine, it was getting to the point there was no way to really do so. Balo was sick, and now everyone could tell. It was concern from her teachers that helped fuel the chain of events that resulted in getting her help, no matter how much she tried to assure everyone she didn’t need inpatient therapy and that doing outpatient would be fine. After several months of inpatient followed by a bout of “readjustment to the real world” time at home, she’s back at Luxor and as sunshine-y as ever.

TLDR / quick important notes bio recap for rereads: - Balo’s home life is far from perfect. Her father, Lance - is an abusive alcoholic, and while her mother tried her best to protect her children - she also covered things up without hesitation. It wasn’t uncommon to see a Driskell in the ER with a lie and people willing to back up the story. - The lack of control in her life is what led to her eating disorder, in hopes of regaining a (false) sense of control. - She’s been attending Luxor since freshman year, although she recently had to leave for a few months to attend extensive inpatient treatment. And now she’s back to her normal sunshine-esc antics, trying to love everyone, feeding all the strays at Luxor, and trying to spread smiles everywhere she goes.

★ wanted connections;

Friendships

Someone to manipulate her, please I beg you

Um, pretty much anything? She likes everyone cause if you do something to hurt her she does mental gymnastics to come to the conclusion you are a good person and it was an unintended side effect so...yeah. Doesn’t mean your muses have to like her though (I have a lot of fun when they don’t actually, so… don’t worry about hurting the sunshine daughter. Okay?)

Anyone who knows her from the gymnastics and/or cheer teams, as she was on the teams through Freshmen & Sophomore years, and until October of her junior year.

Price to be Paid - Chapter 10

The Rise of Mrs. Sadie Adler

Words: 4,156

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

AO3 Link

It had taken you and Arthur longer than you had hoped to arrive at camp, but you had to admit everything he said was true. The location was easily defendable on the lake, and the water was blue and sparkling in the evening sun. It was beautiful. 

“Ah, Mr. Morgan! Ms. Moore! How did you two get on with those loans?” Dutch wandered over as you hitched your horse in the new area. Eclipse nibbled at the grass and made content noises as you took her heavy saddle off in the heat. 

“Well enough, I suppose. Last one didn’t have the money but we got everything else. Here, for the camp,” Arthur handed the older man the cash. “Damn, Dutch. This humidity is awful.”

He laughed but agreed, and motioned you over to Grimshaw. In a softer tone Dutch asked Arthur how things went with you.

“Fine. She’s good on a horse and held her own. Soft spirit, but nearly took a man’s head of by swinging a gun at him. I’d say we start taking her out more and givin’ her responsibilities. She can hunt and fight just fine.” Dutch was happy to hear this and clapped Arthur’s shoulder.

“Mr. Morgan! Your tent, per usual, is near the ammunition and over on the right there. Next to Herr Strauss. Don’t make that face, I know how you feel about the man but space is limited. Miss Moore, you’re by that tree and the lake. We moved your stuff over but don’t know how you like it, so that bit is up to you.” You smiled back at Grimshaw, “Thank you, I appreciate it. I’ll go get all set up then.” 

The three nodded and began a new conversation without you, so with your saddle in hand you walked to your new tent.

Lenny, Mary-Beth, and Abigail all called out hellos from across the camp at your return and you filled with happiness inside. 

Grimshaw was right about your tent. Situated maybe twenty feet from the water, a cool breeze filtered through the open flaps and felt heavenly. Your few possessions were on your bed and you took your time decorating your new home to your liking before you had to get dinner. 

Watching the water reminded you of the times your mother would take you down to Flat Iron Lake as a child. She taught you to swim and would take you for ice cream as a treat after an afternoon in the glowing sun. 

She had been crossing your mind more and more lately and you didn’t know why. Cassandra Milton. The only woman to love that bastard father of yours. 

The small heart shaped locket she had given you was in the pile on your bed and it opened to her photo. Smiling, you clasped the chain around your neck and tucked it behind your clean white shirt before leaving the tent. It always made you feel close to her when you squeezed it tightly in your hand. 

Boxes were scattered around the uncompleted camp acting as chairs and you couldn’t complain as you took a seat and watched the sun finally slip down below the waterline for the day. 

The stew Pearson made had some of what you had helped Charles hunt and to you it tasted divine. Of course, it wasn’t canned corn or poorly shot rabbit, so anything at this point was better than what you had eaten recently. Or maybe it was just your recent burst of happiness that flavored the meal to your liking. 

Charles joined you after finishing up with Pearson to get his cooking area established. 

“How did you and Arthur get on, YN?” He looked tired and ready to relax as he passed you a bottle of beer, and you clinked yours with his lightly. 

“Good, feeling better about being here. More established. I really do want to help out, need to go hunting again anytime soon?” 

Charles laughed and took a long drink. “No. Too soon from last time, but I’ll let you know. We don’t want to over hunt and have the animals go to waste. Have you seen the town nearby? Rhodes? I’m not familiar with it.” 

You hadn’t. Most of your life was spent in Blackwater with few trips outside, although you had heard of many of the cities out east. 

“No. Saw the sign on the way in. We ran into some Laymone Raiders last night though, hope they ain’t too common around here.” Out of habit you scanned the wooded area, but nothing was lurking. All your demons were tucked away quietly for the time being. 

“Should be perfectly safe here, like I thought. Good land, clean water right there. I have no worries about this place. Feels good to not worry about folks here for a little while.” 

You sighed heavily, tearing the label off your beer bottle. “Well Charles, I guess worryin’ is the price you have to pay when you have folks around that you care for.” 

He raised his bottle again to yours, and you watched the lake move peacefully back and forth in a calming rhythm that would soon help you fall asleep at night.

 Not a week into being at Clemens Point and Sadie Adler broke.

You were helping Abigail feed the chickens, carrying the bags back and forth to spread the food around their area. The morning had been soft so far with a fog rolling in from the lake. Warm rays of the sun were ready to burn it away as it had every morning previously, the heat already creeping across your shoulders and down your back.

“Say whatever you damn well please but I tell you, if I don’t get outta here soon, I’m gonna kill somebody.” 

Abigail froze and you watched Arthur approach the widow as she pointed a sharp knife in Pearson’s direction. You can’t imagine the past five months have been easy on Sadie Adler, but she had hardly started living her life again. Coming to some meals, dressing, and putting in minimal help was all she was good for at Horseshoe Overlook. Of course, none of you blamed her. After the trip to Clemens Point her view seemed to change to be more future oriented and finally emerging out of her shell. 

Pearson slammed the pot he was holding down on his wooden table and turned to face Mrs. Adler. “If you don’t stop hissing at me, I’m gonna kill you!” He was brandishing a knife sharpener to counter her weapon but it was doing little good. 

“You come near me, sailor...and I will slice you up!” 

“You put that knife down or you’re going to be missing a hand, lady.”

Arthur stood back a ways letting the two get things out of their system, but finally stepped in as the two got closer and closer. “What is wrong with you two?”

Sadie slammed the tip of the knife into the table with enough force to make it stand on its own, and replied, “I ain’t chopping vegetables for a living.” She stood with her hands on her hips and her shoulders moved with each breath she took. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, madam,” Arthur sauntered over. “Are there not sufficient feathers in your pillow?”

Abigail clucked beside you at Arthur. She obviously sided with Sadie and watched the two go back and forth. 

“Look, I ain’t lazy Mr. Morgan. I’ll work but not this. My husband and I, we shared the work. All of it. I was out in the fields, I can hunt, carry a knife or use a gun. But I tell you,” you and Abigail scooted closer to eavesdrop as Sadie’s voice lowered. The two of you didn’t even look like you were trying to do chores at this point. “You keep me here, I’ll skin this fat old coot and serve him for dinner!” 

“Watch your damn mouth, you crazy goddamn fishwife!”  

With a scream, Sadie threw herself at Pearson. Arthur was standing between the two but she struggled to get away and lay her hands on the camp cook. Pearson walked backwards with his hands up but had no fear of her catching him. Arthur threw Sadie back and put his hands between them. 

“Enough! Both of you. Well, come with me then. You wanna head out there? Run with the men? So be it. But we do more than just hunting we’re hunted. And them things hunting us they got guns of their own.”

Sadie replied with a simple but resounding remark. “I ain’t afraid of dying.” 

Her eyes showed this was absolutely true. Just because she was happy to be living didn’t mean a change in that plan would upset her by any means. 

“Mrs. Marston! Ms. Moore! You two look...well, you look guilty of something. What in the hell are you doing with that chicken feed? It’s everywhere!” 

You and Abigail had wandered over to the commotion and not even checked the feed in many minutes. The chickens were well outside their area, but well fed if nothing else on their new path through camp. 

“Sorry, Arthur. We wanted to see what all the yelling was about,” Abigail spoke up. “You going into town? I need a few things, can you all grab it for me?” 

“You don’t wanna come?” 

She shrugged back. “Nah, I’ve got too much around here to do. But YN will go! She won’t say it but she’s antsier than anything to get out of camp for awhile.” She lightly shoved you in Arthur’s direction and took off back towards her tent with the two empty feed bags. When no one else was looking she winked over her shoulder at you. 

Arthur checked with Pearson if he needed anything from town but all he had was a letter to be sent and a short grocery list. Both were tucked away into Arthur’s satchel and he directed you two over to the wagon to head out of camp, giving a hand up as the jump was too high in your long skirts. As Sadie was the reason you were leaving camp you let her sit in the front with Arthur, and you took the back with your knees tucked up under your chin. The autumn breeze was heavenly and you closed your eyes as the wagon rolled out. 

Sadie and Arthur threw witty quips back and forth, testing the limits of their new bond. She was a smart woman who, now that she actually spoke, was someone you could learn a lot from. The few years Sadie had on you showed instantly. Swearing and shooting were not unfamiliar to her from her old life. 

“Dear Aunt Cathy.” 

The words pulled you out of your head and back to the preset. You had been admiring some clouds on the horizon, but turned and put your arms over the wood separating you and your companions at Sadie’s voice. 

“That what I think it is?” you asked. Arthur looked in your direction and rolled his eyes, knowing he had lost. “Leave that poor fool alone then.”

“No,” you giggled. “Continue on, Mrs. Adler.” 

Sadie cleared her throat and made a face that resembled Pearson. “I haven’t heard from you in some time, so I prayed to the Lord above that your health has not deteriorated further…blah, blah, blah, that’s boring. Oh! Listen to this. Since we last corresponded I have traveled widely, making no small name for myself. Before you ask, I am still yet to take a wife but I can assure you it’s not for the lack of suitors!” 

The three of you laughed so hard Arthur careened the wagon off the path and narrowly avoided hitting a rock. Wiping tears from her eyes, Sadie flipped the letter over. 

“What’s this? Return to Tacitus Kilgore.” Arthur went on to explain how Dutch wanted all of the gang’s mail to be sent to one fake name so they would never lose anything even if they traveled from town to town. 

Thinking back on your home of Blackwater, you remembered dust. It was stuck between every brick in the road and then some. Rhodes was an entirely new level. 

Before the wagon was even parked the dust permeated you. It was in your hair and on your skin and you hadn’t even moved yet. The beating sun only made it worse, and the lack of rain was obvious from the low levels of water in the buckets situated around town. Arthur parked near the entrance of the town and in the shade of the general store. 

“So, what’s the plan, I shoot the shopkeeper while you -”

“No!” Arthur lunged at Sadie and swatted the gun out of her hands. It swung wildly for a moment and you dove down below the sight level in the back of the wagon. “You insane?”

“I thought we was outlaws!” 

“Outlaws, not idiots. We rob fools that rob other people. These people, they’re just tryin’ get by.” 

Sadie marched off to the grocer clearly disappointed she wasn’t going to be shooting anyone on their adventure. Arthur held his arms up and helped you down, his strong hands grabbing your waist and setting you gently on the ground. 

“Jesus, that woman is something else.” he chuckled and guided you to the main street and off to the post office. 

A train was arriving full of visitors who ogled the small town through their clean glass windows. All they saw was a main road with shops, trees, and lots and lots of dust. You could have complained about that damn dust all day long, but you had to keep your mouth shut otherwise half of it would end up in your stomach. 

Arthur held the peeling green door to the station open for you to pass first. He wanted to go up to the teller alone so you wouldn't be seen, so you mosied around and admired the paintings up on the walls. Most were amateur and just of green landscapes, but one of the ocean caught your attention and your fingers traced the crashing waves on the small canvas. Seeing the ocean in person had always been a dream of yours. The lake was wonderful, sure, but to see the ocean? In person? You had always imagined how the blue water would stretch as far as you could see, and even further in every direction. 

As soon as the letter was posted, Arthur walked over to join you. “You ready?” You nodded and followed him back outside, admiring the small garden of grass that surrounded a bell with a plaque laid down. You wondered what it commemorated but didn’t have time to stop, so you mentally added it to the list of things you wanted to see again. 

No one was by the wagon so you continued down through the street. A butchers shop, a gunsmith, a saloon, and a few various other shops and buildings made up the whole area. 

“Makes you feel like civilization ain’t out here yet. Blackwater was hell, but at least they knew how to pave a road.” The disdain in your voice was obvious and Arthur turned mockingly towards you. 

“Why, Ms. Moore! You are a true city slicker. Talking about civilization and roads, makes it sound like you was born in an ivory tower with servants and butlers.” 

A laugh burst from your chest at his sarcasm. “An ivory tower! That’s what you think of me. All I wish for was a little but less dust…” as you spoke you shook out your green skirt and a wave of that wretched stuff came off. 

“Oh. I thought that was blue.” You didn’t answer him but stared daggers instead, making sure he got the message. 

“Nah, I know you ain’t some uppity princess. Just takes awhile to learn how to fit in anywhere like we do, I guess. It’s been, what, five? Six months now? You’re doing just fine, Ms. Moore. I’ve been running with these fools for nearly twenty years, so I figure I can teach you a few things. Just takes time is all.” He smiled down at you, and your heart warmed in your chest. 

He may be an outlaw, but something about Arthur Morgan had captured your attention over the past few months. There were rough edges to him, but that wasn’t it. More often than not his blue eyes were crinkling into some sort of a smile,whether sarcastic or serious, and he had a deep, rumbling laugh that was infectious to those in camp. You had seen him turn on a dime into someone ruthless and wild and be completely different if he needed to, but it was never aimed at anyone he cared about. And he was always writing in that journal of his which you would have given just about anything to peek into. The writer had attracted the reader, how poetic. 

Someone was barking orders by the wagon and Arthur was suddenly on edge. The two of you neared, and saw Sadie berating the poor delivery boy as he loaded the crates into the back.  

“Jesus, kid! My grandma has more strength than you! Lift up them crates.”

A new woman stood before you. Now in a bright yellow top, dark brown pants, suspenders, and a leather gun belt topped with a wide brim hat, Sadie had come into her own. The few minutes you left her alone had allowed her to blossom. And she looked damn fine. 

Arthur whistled and walked around as Sadie showed off her new threads. “Damn, Sadie! Who woulda thought.”

“Here, YN. I grabbed you a few things as well.” She handed you a package and you stowed it on the wagon. The heat was enough now that you twisted your long hair up into a bun and used your hand to fan yourself. 

“Any chance there’s a new hat in there, Mrs. Adler? I’m dying in this heat.” 

Sadie nodded and motioned back towards the wagon. Arthur was impatiently already seated in the front and you climbed in the back again, eagerly ripping into your present. 

The first item was blue, your blue. The shade that you wore all the time and loved, and it turned out to be a beautiful long skirt. Luckily the material was light so you could wear it often in the heat. Next Sadie had gotten you a few practical shirts, a bandanna, and at the bottom was your hat. It was more fashion oriented than hers with a rounded dome versus her flat one, but you could have cared less. It was a blessed relief to not have the sun on your face and Sadie flashed a full smile as you put it on and modeled for her. 

Mrs. Adler drove the wagon home. It wasn’t as rushed as when Arthur drove for she constantly got distracted by things on the side of the road. She pointed out interesting people and funny buildings to you while Arthur lounged in his seat with his feet up. 

They chatted easily, and it was the first time Mrs. Adler had really opened up. She actually joked about what happened in Colter with the O’Driscolls, and Arthur apologized and offered to find her a new harmonica to replace one she had lost years ago. It was clear you both had the same idea of what you wanted in this gang; to be equal. There was certainly differences between you and how you approached it, but it didn’t mean that people should take either of you any less seriously. 

As the wagon rolled on, you laid your head on crossed arms and watched the scenery go by. Wild flowers were sprinkled across the fields clouds dotted the bright blue sky. It couldn’t have been a more beautiful country day if it tried. 

A man rode up right next to you and hollered, startling all three of you. “Hey there! What are you folks up to?” He eyed the groceries in the back of the wagon, and gave you a one over that made your insides curl. Arthur sat at attention and you were suddenly aware that your guns were all back at camp. 

Sadie called back, “Just heading home. Day in town leaves folks real tired.” She casually moved her inside hand to her hip where her new holster sat. 

“You’re in Lemoyne Raider country. You need to pay a toll to pass through here.” The horses kept pace with the wagon and your heart started to beat faster. 

Arthur called back lazily, ‘’No. I don’t think so. We ain’t pulling over for nobody.” 

Sadie reached across to address the main Lemoyne Raider with the business end of her gun. “Hey! How’s about this?” And fired right into his belly. 

Arthur reached back and shoved you down as he fired his pistol at the other rider, narrowly missing him as he leaned forward and galloped his horse. The wagon plowed forward across railroad tracks and Sadie grabbed the reins again, yelling at the horses to keep moving as fast as they could. 

More riders approached from all sides. “Give me a gun!” Panic laced your voice, and Arthur began to protest but Sadie had no hesitation as she tossed you her rifle. The wagon was gaining speed again and rocking more but you steadied yourself against the boxes and took aim. 

“There must be at least four back here!” 

After one round, you knew where to aim. The gun felt heavy in your hands but it was a fight or flight response, and damn did you want to fight. Three riders fell as you shot them down, trying not to think too much about it, and you missed as the fourth finally raised his shotgun at you. His shot landed close, but struck the wall of the wagon. 

You laughed maniacally and Sadie whooped in encouragement. Arthur had eliminated the riders ahead and swung himself into the back of the wagon to assist you. 

“Where’d they all go?” He whipped around confused after hearing you yell. 

“Only a few left. Got the other ones with Sadie’s rifle.” He looked over at you impressed, pride showing on his features. Then aimed and the last two riders were dead before they even hit the ground. 

After a good few minutes of riding on, Sadie felt safe enough to pull the wagon over to the side of the road. 

You put your hands on your knees to catch your breath while Sadie checked the supplies to see if anything had fallen off. 

“Told you I could shoot a gun, Arthur.” He stood above you, eyes scanning the horizon to make sure you weren’t followed. 

He chuckled lightly. “I don’t remember asking you to prove it, Ms. Moore. You alright there?” 

“‘Course. Just the heat and all that excitement. This new hat is wonderful Sadie!” She waved back as you hollered over to her at the wagon. 

“You’ve, uh, you’ve got something…” you reached up to Arthur’s face as you noticed the dirt on his cheek, gently wiping it away with the pad of your thumb. He didn’t flinch at the contact this time and it almost seemed like he leaned into your touch. You smiled up at him and let your hand fall back. 

“You two ready or what?” Sadie was already at the reins, ready to leave. You pulled yourself up to the back of the wagon as Arthur climbed to the bench and directed the way back to Clemens Point. 

“That’s a lot of mess to make near camp. Hope it don’t bring anyone sniffing around.” Arthur shifted in his seat, and the lake finally came into view. 

You could see Charles on guard duty and decided to keep him company, so the pair let you jump off and you waved as they rode the rest of the way into camp. 

“Don’t go ribbing Pearson about that letter, Sadie.”

“How dare you? I wouldn't dream of it. ‘I have traveled widely making no small name of myself…’” Arthur and Sadie rolled out of view as you approached Charles. 

 A wide smile and a handful of candies met you. You took the one happily, throwing the mint flavored snack into your mouth. 

“Rhodes is just as awful as we feared, Charles. No hope of salvation anywhere!” He stared at your dramatics while you fanned yourself with the new hat from Sadie. 

“How is Mrs. Adler?” He asked kindly. 

“Better. I think. She seems to be moving in a new direction that’s good for her. Nearly killed us all, but saved our skins as well. I think she’s a complicated woman.” 

Charles laughed at this. “Aren’t you all? Complicated, that is?” 

You leaned back against a tree and answered, “Only in you don’t speak the language, Charles. Only if you don’t bother to try.”

Pretending

Pairing: Solas/Female Lavellan

Summary: Niamh being Niamh and Solas being Solas in some post-breakup sparring. 

[AO3 Link]

The night sky settled over Skyhold like a thick blanket, heavy with apprehension for the battle to come. Even as the majority of the fortress’ inhabitants retired to their rooms, leaving only dancing flames from the torches of the few guards patrolling the courtyard, the air vibrated with restlessness. Although, Niamh could have just been projecting her own disquiet. She resented that she, a city-born, Dalish elf had been saddled with the responsibility of not fucking up the world in the name of a god she didn’t serve. She only wished she cared as little as she pretended to.

She couldn’t help but think of Ameridan. Her encounter with her predecessor in the Frostback Basin had only realized her frustration. A Dalish elf like herself, the first Inquisitor had given everything, including his life, to the service of people who would do nothing but rewrite his history and take credit for his accomplishments. He deserved better. So did she, for that matter, not that anyone cared.

The end was near enough that she could taste it, and so was her breaking point, it would seem. Standing alone in the courtyard with nothing but the company of the stars and wooden training dummies worn down by Cassandra’s regular practice, rage swelled in Niamh’s chest until it leaked from her eyes. A bitter laugh escaped her throat as she wiped the tears from her cheek. Of course, as if being a reluctant savior weren’t infuriating enough, there was also the matter of her freshly broken heart. Another thing she didn’t fucking ask for.

With a growl, she drew her fist and surged forward, slamming her bare knuckles into one of the dummies’ coarse, wooden torsos, splinters scraping against her skin. It should have hurt, she knew it, but she felt nothing at all. Nothing was nice for a change. She pulled her arm back, readying herself for another blow, but froze at the rustle of footsteps behind her, familiar in pattern, unmistakable.

She closed her eyes and huffed, hitting the dummy again, harder than the first time. It still didn’t hurt, but rather brought relief to the tension building inside her. She took a deep breath, bracing herself for this conversation she didn’t want to have.

“I thought I might find you out here,” hummed the soft, masculine voice she once thought she could listen to for hours. Now, each word was a sharp knife to her chest. “I see you are handling things well.”

Sarcasm. A critique. He had no right. She turned to face him, to yell and curse and smack the smug smirk from his face, but as soon as their eyes met, her heart turned to lead.

Solas stood several feet away from her, wearing his posture as armor, though it couldn’t mask the weariness in his eyes. It had been weeks since they had spoken in any informal capacity, and she was unprepared for the wave of emotion that pulled her under. She held her breath to keep her tears at bay. She would not let him see her vulnerability. Not again.

“I’m fine,” she lied through gritted teeth, “Even if I wasn’t, it’s no concern of yours. Isn’t it past your bedtime or something?” She was desperate to deflect. If he pushed too hard, she might break.

“I would prefer to be asleep, yes,” he answered with an exhausted laugh, “Unfortunately, it eludes me.”

“Guilty conscience, huh?”She crossed her arms over her chest, noticing her own swollen and bloodstained knuckles for the first time.

“Perhaps,” he sighed, his eyes lingering, studying the wounds on her hand.

“Good,” she retorted dryly, tucking the hand under her arm to hide the marks, wincing at the pain that replaced the numbness she felt moments before. She’d regret the punches later. She always did.

An uneasy, heavy silence hung between them, eyes looking at anything but one another until Niamh could take it no longer.

“What do you want, Solas?”

He froze, and seemed to search for an answer that would not come to him. It was unlike him to be without answers. He always had reasoning, even if it was vague and infuriating.

“Truth be told,” he finally answered flicking his eyes away from her and toward the ground, an expression of embarrassment she had not known from the typically proud man, “I do not know.” Closing his eyes and shaking his head, he returned his gaze to her, defeated, lonely.

“Let me know when you figure it out,” she quipped, her tone harsher than she intended. She almost apologized, but thought better of it. “I’ll just be over here, pretending this training dummy is you.”

Solas chuckled quietly, nearly under his breath, and it only served to make Niamh’s anger grow hot. She hated that he laughed at her, even when it was probably the appropriate response to her sardonic remark. Even more she hated that she still loved the way it sounded.

In a brief flash of hurt and frustration, she whipped a bolt of fire at him, surprising herself even more than she surprised him. He startled at the burst of flames, and stepped out of its path, before looking at her with disbelief. It was not the angry disbelief she expected. Instead, it was a look he had worn often. One that had crossed his face when she had kissed him in the Fade, or when she had taken his hand at Halamshiral, in all their more intimate moments. Stunned admiration, perhaps.

“Did you intend for that to hit me?” He raised his eyebrows, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“No, I was aiming at the other asshole who decided to rip my heart out and smack me with it.”

“That is… one way to describe what happened,” he replied with a grimace, and Niamh hurled another bolt of fire in his direction, which he sent back to her using a deflection spell. “You are formidable, but your aim leaves much to be desired.”

“You think you could do better?” She shook her head, anger mounting higher. “Prove it.”

“I know I could.” His expression was flat, his voice still calm despite it all, “I have nothing to prove.”

“Oh fuck you,” she said, shooting more flames from her palms, relentless as she moved closer to him. He dodged every last spell with relative ease, the only indication of effort, his shortened breath and sweat glistening above his brow. He finally unleashed an attack of his own, a burst of energy pulsated out from him, sending her tumbling to the ground.

She hopped up quickly and summoned more fire, this time sending a wave in his direction, which he managed to avoid with a barrier. They spent more than a few moments sparring, slinging spells and insults to one another, until finally Niamh landed a blow. Flashfire brushed Solas’ shoulder, searing his tunic as the force from the blast knocked him to the ground. She moved to stand over him.

“Ouch, it must hurt that pride of yours to be bested by someone with such poor aim.” She extended her hand, small sparks of fire dancing at her fingertips. Solas smirked, a small wave of energy emanating from his own hand and against her shins, causing her to lose balance and tumble to the ground beside him.

“Ass,” she grumbled and then erupted into laughter, full and warm in her chest, bubbling out of her lungs briefly, before leaving her aching and empty. Without the anger she was so accustomed to carrying, she could see how completely not fine she was. After weeks of composing herself and pretending that she never even cared that much in the first place, she could finally feel her own heartache Staring up at the stars twinkling against the dark sky, tears streaked from the corners of her eyes, dripping onto the grass.

Ashamed of the tears, but unable to stop their falling, she turned her head toward Solas, who still lay quietly on the ground beside her, staring into the distance himself.

“You asked me what I wanted,” he spoke at last, eyes still focused upon the stars.

“You don’t have to answer that,” she answered, sniffling.

“No, I do,” he insisted, then inhaled a deep shaky breath. “I had not considered how difficult it would be.”

“How difficult what would be?” She thought she knew the answer, but she wanted him to say it out loud.

“Pretending.” His voice was quiet as he turned his head to meet her gaze. Something in his eyes made it seem as if he had been pretending for a very long time. “I wanted everything to feel real again, if only for a moment.”

Solas shook his head, clearly bothered by whatever emotions he felt, and moved to stand up, offering Niamh his hand. She took it, and allowed him to help her to her feet, fingertips lingering too long against one another before parting.

“I know it changes nothing, but I am truly sorry.” He hung his head with his apology. “Knowing what I know now, I would have not been so selfish.”

“You’re right, it doesn’t change anything,” Niamh admitted, “But I believe you, and knowing what I know now, I’d make the same dumbass mistake all over again.”

“Thank you, Niamh.”

“What? No ‘Inquisitor’?”

“Not tonight.” Solas offered her a sad smile, nodded, and made his way to the stairs that led inside.

The Librarians Shipathon 2017 - Week 10: Cassandra & Stone & Ezekiel [x]  

She felt a bit like a kid again, in both a good way and a bad way, as she sat on top of the kitchen table in the middle of the night. Dressed in leggings with little stars, plaid pajama shorts, and Ezekiel’s soft t-shirts, she surrounded herself in dimmed lighting, advanced mathematics textbooks from the Library, and golden numbers, swirling all around her. It was just like when she stayed up too late doing chemistry experiments in her parents’ kitchen – exhilarating, with just a tiny bit of fear of being caught.

They’d decided not to use magic, a pact she’d whole-heartedly agreed to after the horrifying conclusion of the Apep saga, but this, her gift…well, that wasn’t really magic if she was just playing with it, was it? The vast expanse of knowledge in front of her was still new. She’d gotten a grasp on the tumor-suppressed abilities that had once filled her with a crippling fear, and even though they’d agreed she wouldn’t deploy this unless absolutely necessary, a hint of that crippling fear had once again filled her body since she came out of her life-saving surgery in a haze of sparkling equations. She wanted – no, she needed – to get a grasp on these abilities, too, so she glanced at a problem in the textbook and looked out at the opposite wall, letting the equations surround her as her fingers manipulated the numbers only she could see.

As if to prove her point and give her away all at the same time, what she saw in the synesthetic miasma started to overwhelm her after just a few minutes, just like it used to do before she’d come to the Library. Only now, even though everything made a little more sense than it had pre-surgery, everything was fundamentally bigger, and she cried out, despite the late hour, as the numbers rapidly swirled around her messy red hair.

It only took a minute for Jacob to swing the kitchen door open, his eyes squinting as they adjusted to the light in the kitchen, and she immediately looked guilty as the fear of being caught came true.

“What are you doing?” he asked her, his whispered voice heavy with sleep, as he found her sitting on the edge of the center table, swinging her feet lightly back and forth.

“Math,” Cassandra said simply, tenderly rubbing the place on her forehead where she had begun to feel herself becoming overpowered by her abilities.

He walked over to her, concerned about the fading pained look on her face, and surveyed the scene as best he could three minutes after waking up. The textbooks rested against her thighs; she didn’t have anything to take notes with, and a tray of freshly-baked apple muffins sat on top of the oven. He looked at her again with a bit of a scowl.

“You’re doing magic!” he said accusingly.

“No!” Cassandra cried.

“You’re…you’re using your gift thing,” he clarified.

“Okay, yes,” Cassandra sighed.

“We agreed no magic, Cassie. All of us…we agreed,” he grumbled, accusingly again. She rolled her eyes at the way he was speaking to her, a gesture that went unnoticed as he again emphasized, “No magic!”

“I know!” she cried. “I know what we agreed, but the caveat to that agreement was unless we need it, and if we need it – when we need it – I don’t know how to control this yet, and I need to learn because what if…what if…” She was working herself into a frenzy as she spoke, a sense of panicked dread bubbling within her. “We killed someone, Jacob! I don’t want to do that again!”

“Okay, okay, shh,” he said, shushing her softly as he walked over to the table. He cupped her face his palms, tenderly stroking back and forth against her warm cheeks with his thumbs. “I ain’t mad,” he promised. “You’re right. Okay? You’ve got a point. We’ll help you get there, okay? Together.”

“Yeah?” she whispered.

“Yeah,” he promised.

His fingers stilled against her skin, and his grip tightened just enough to tilt her head towards his for a kiss. Cassandra softly moaned as his kiss, slow and deep, matched the intimate mood in the hushed room. Her knees instinctively parted, and he stepped between them, gently pulling her to sit up a bit straighter as he moved in to her body. She held onto his sides, fingers curling into the soft cotton of his shirt, and let her knees rest against his hips.

Their kissing was interrupted just a few moments later as Ezekiel finally wandered into the room, too, asking what time it was on a sleepy groan. Slipping from Stone’s embrace, Cassandra glanced over to the oven to check the time. She turned, telepathically sending the answer to Ezekiel’s brain. It only took a moment for Ezekiel to cry out and swipe at the air in front of him as if he were trying to catch a bug.

“Get out of my head!” Ezekiel yelled, his accent thicker than it was when he was fully awake.

“You didn’t mind it in Shangri-La,” Cassandra said playfully.

“Cases only,” Ezekiel declared. “Stay out of my head in the house!”

Stone, who had been watching with a little amused grin on his face, suddenly nodded. “It is kinda unsettling, Cass,” he agreed.

“Fine,” Cassandra pouted.

Stone moved over to the oven, grabbing one of the apple muffins and biting into it as Ezekiel rubbed his eyes. His gaze settled on a stack of homemade pancakes sitting between the muffins and omelet fixings still left untouched on the counter.

“What’s with all the food?” Ezekiel asked.

“Math smells like breakfast,” Cassandra said with a shrug.

“What are you doing in here?” Ezekiel asked.

“You didn’t hear her scream?” Stone asked, his words muffled by the apple treat.

Suddenly awake, Ezekiel said with concern, “No. You were screaming?” He reached the table, wrapped his arms around her, and held her protectively as she wove one of her arms around his back and placed a small kiss on his bare chest.

“What woke you up then?” Stone asked.

“The bed got cold with both of you gone,” Ezekiel answered. Cassandra smiled softly and stroked his bare stomach. Ezekiel finally really looked at her and asked, “Are you wearing my shirt?”

Cassandra shrugged and coyly said, “You weren’t using it.”

They’d gotten together shortly after Apep. Apparently, creating life just to destroy it can bring people together. Nothing really had changed. They still bickered every chance they got – over cases and magic and how to solve problems, little quirks in each others’ personalities, or anything, really, that could drive Colonel Baird up the wall, but there was a comfort to their relationship now that wasn’t there before, a comfort they hadn’t known they all needed.

“So, seriously, what’s going on?” Ezekiel asked.

“We gotta help Cass with her gift,” Stone said.

“I…thought we weren’t doing that,” Ezekiel said slowly, his body slumping a little against Cassandra.

“I need to not be scared of it anymore,” Cassandra said, looking up at him from her place in his arms. “I can choose to not use it, but I can’t make it go away.”

He considered what she said before conceding, with a sleepy sigh, “Fair enough.” With a yawn, he added, “But can we start tomorrow?”

Cassandra chuckled. As soon as he had determined she was alright, the hand rubbing her back had slowed, and his eyes had started to droop. She hopped off the table. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s go back to bed.”

“All of us?” Ezekiel sleepily mumbled.

“Yes,” Cassandra promised with another small snicker, wrapping her arm securely around his back.

They started moving towards the bedroom, and she glanced back to make sure Stone was coming, too. Cassandra caught his eye, and pointed to the muffins, crooking her finger back towards herself. Stone grabbed one for her and another for himself, following them with a smile.

No One Else to Blame Chapter 7

Dorian wasn’t sure how or even when he had fallen so completely for the Inquisitor. He knew it was incredibly foolish, particularly with the war raging around them, but none of that seemed to matter when he studied Elden's profile or contemplated the warmth of their fingers laced together. Dorian knew this couldn't last but he never could have foreseen just how spectacularly it would all go wrong. Or that he would be the one left holding the knife. AO3 Read More

Dorian couldn’t help but feel uneasy as they approached the cave. It was a ridiculous sentiment, he’d only been captive for a short while before reinforcements had arrived, it hadn’t been particularly traumatic. Then again, this was where this nightmare had begun. He’d lost time here, nearly an entire day unaccounted for, and he couldn’t help but fear what they might discover.

Still, finding nothing would by far be the worse outcome. Dorian prayed that they’d find the poison or, even better, the antidote so this entire business could be wrapped up and put behind them, but he knew none of them were that lucky, himself in particular.

The Iron Bull waited outside with the horses as the rest of them trekked through the snow and into the cave. It was a grim task, but Blackwall and Cassandra began kicking corpses over and searching them while Vivienne, Elden, and Dorian continued on inside. The Inquisitor knelt by the next body they came across and began searching as well.

They left quite the body count in their wake wherever they went, but still Elden treated the fallen reverently, even these Venatori. He’d expressed on more than one occasion regret at the loss of life and a desire to bury the fallen, although it was rarely possible, now especially. Dorian knew this had to be difficult for him. He wanted to kneel beside him, place a hand on his shoulder, but he was afraid to get too close, afraid to see Elden flinch like that again.

Elden had learned firsthand how his touch could burn, it was only right he pulled away. He should be angry, he should blame Dorian for all of this and push him away if only to protect himself. But of course he wouldn’t. Elden was too kind, too understanding, and Dorian hated how easily he had hurt him.

Truth be told, he’d been avoiding Elden since, keeping out of reach and avoiding eye contact. It was childish perhaps, but every time he saw the sadness there, Dorian wanted nothing more than to pull him close and he couldn’t. He didn’t have the right.

Dwelling was getting him nowhere so instead Dorian continued deeper in. In the back, he found the place they had left him on the hard ground when he’d been held prisoner, charred rope still lying there where it had fallen as well as a few more bodies. He supposed he should actually assist with the search. He flipped the nearest body over, shuffling around until he found something inside the man’s coat. When he pulled it out and saw the dagger in his hand, however, he recoiled, dropping it to the ground as if it had burned him, backing away until he hit the wall, breathing hard.

“Dorian?”

He heard Elden’s voice, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of that blade. He recognized it, similar to the one he’d used to-- to stab Elden, but this one was different, huge gemstone eyes boring into him from the engraved skull. Somehow, they burned into him and he covered his eyes, but the pain only increased. He thought he might be yelling as he doubled over, but he couldn’t tell, his ears ringing, drowning out all else as his skull throbbed.

It felt like there was something lurking at the edges of his mind and suddenly it all flooded in, a memory locked away of agony and horror. There were faces in the darkness, grinning and terrible, that watched, that commanded and taunted. These had to be the true leaders of this group. He knew they had to be human, but they were distorted by pain and perception and he couldn’t help but recoil from them as if they were demons or something worse.

Dorian could feel ropes burning his wrist as if he was being restrained even now, and there was that knife in the hand of one of those mages. The blade sliced down his arm, blood flowing onto the floor, so much blood, the room smelling metallic with it, and Dorian wretched at the memory, thankful that his stomach was practically empty anyway. Finally his mind cleared and the pain and ringing finally receded. He just stayed there for a moment, breathing heavily and leaning against the cold stone.

“Dorian?” Elden repeated, close at his side. “Are you all right?”

“You’re remembering, aren’t you?” Vivienne asked. “Where were you taken? Where did the ritual happen?”

“A cave?” Dorian said doubtfully, trying to remember, wanting to focus on those flashes of memory but afraid of falling back into them again. The fact that it was in a cave was much too vague to be particularly helpful. He needed to see something, anything, that could give him a clue, but then there was another flash of agony as that knife flayed his stomach and he reeled back, nearly falling to the ground, back in the blessed present.

“Dorian!”

Elden caught him and steadied him as he frantically clawed at his shirt, pulling it up, but he was whole, his stomach unscarred. Had they tortured then healed him to hide the evidence? That was a lot of work to go to. Then again, all this was to assassinate the Inquisitor so perhaps it made sense. In retrospect they all really should have known that Dorian’s rescue was all too easy, his injuries too superficial. Of course there had to be others, all this just a setup to cause them to write this entire thing off as attempted ransom and nothing more.

“I’m fine,” Dorian said after he took a deep breath, composing himself as best as he could as he pushed away from Elden and stood up straight. He tried not to notice the disappointment on Elden’s face. “There were others. I was taken-- somewhere, another cave, bigger. I remember seeing mountains out of the mouth of the cave.” It was frustrating how difficult it was to remember any details. Then again, he’d been a tad preoccupied at the time so the fact that he had anything at all to go on was probably a blessing.

“Doesn’t exactly narrow it down,” Blackwall muttered.

Dorian wasn’t exactly sure when he and Cassandra had joined them but he shot a glare in Blackwall’s direction before he continued. “There were definitely mages. Several. As well as some sort of ritual circle.”

“What kind?” Vivienne asked.

“If I knew, I would have said as much,” Dorian snapped, regretting it as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He could still feel the fear clawing at him, could still remember what it felt like to be sliced into again and again, but it wouldn’t do to lash out at allies. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I apologize. I can’t recall the details. There was definitely blood magic involved but that’s all I’ve got.”

“Unfortunate, but it’s a start,” Cassandra said, placing a hand on his shoulder which surprised him.

“Are we not going to address the possibility that that was all an act and he’s leading us into a trap?” Blackwall asked, looking skeptical.

“Blackwall, please,” Elden said, but Dorian couldn’t exactly blame the man for being suspicious.

“I’m not sure it matters at this point,” Cassandra said, sending a concerned glance towards Elden. “We’ve finished searching here, let’s get going.”

“Dorian?” Elden was still at his side, so close but not wanting to touch without permission.

“I’m fine,” Dorian said, waving a hand dismissively. His touch was soothing and a part of him wanted to lean into him again, let Elden hold him, support him, but he couldn’t do that now. He couldn’t demand any more from him.

Suddenly Dorian was feeling incredibly claustrophobic here in this small cave with all these people crowding around. He could still hear the taunting voices of those Venatori as they pressed in around him, even if he couldn’t tell what they were saying. He brushed past Elden, heading for the exit, needing to be out in the open so he could breathe again.

As he stepped outside, for once he didn’t mind the freezing wind as it whipped past him. It allowed him to focus on the moment, on his face and ears burning with cold, and push away the memory of blood and pain. Recent events had made him wary of cliff edges, so he stayed on the path, looking out over the valley between mountain peaks and just tried to calm his pounding heart. Bull was nearby with the horses watching, but Dorian ignored him. He stood there with his eyes closed for a long moment, just trying to feel and not think and nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Cassandra’s voice beside him.

“I owe you an apology.”

“Oh?” he asked, unable to keep his irritableness out of his voice. “Whatever for?”

It wasn’t directed at her, exactly, and he felt guilty for taking this all out on her. It was just-- everything, really. He felt helpless, being used and manipulated to hurt the Inquisitor, the last person Dorian had ever wanted to harm, the one person he would give his life to protect. Seeing Elden flinch away, reminding him of how Dorian had betrayed him so deeply. And now he could barely trust his own mind. He couldn’t wait to find those responsible so he could tear them apart. Unless, of course, they still held power over him in which case things could go very badly indeed.

“I didn’t even give you a chance to prove yourself,” she explained and thankfully she didn’t seem offended by his tone. “I owed you that at the very least, after everything you’ve done for the Inquisition.”

“It’s fine, Cassandra,” he said with a weary sigh. “I ended up doing exactly what all the rumors said I would. I don’t blame you for assuming the worst. The knife was literally in my hand, after all. What were you supposed to think?”

“Still,” she insisted. “I apologize for my brashness, for throwing out whatever trust you’d managed to build thus far.”

“That’s very generous of you,” he said. As much as he appreciated her words, he knew all of this would take time. On both sides. And there were more pressing things to attend to at the moment. “Better not let your guard down just yet. Not until this is over. I could still pose a threat.”

She nodded and they both understood the implication. Elden was the priority. If Dorian was forced to turn on them, it would be up to the others to make sure the Inquisitor was safe. Glancing up, Dorian could see Elden nearby watching apprehensively. It was obvious he wanted to approach but was unsure if he would be welcome.

The space was appreciated, but he hated this entire situation. And he hated that Elden was still being so thoughtful and generous. They were both here, hurting and in need of any sort of support, but instead it felt like there was a chasm opening up between them. And it was Dorian’s fault. There was nothing he could say, no way he could make this all right, so instead he turned and began trudging through the snow as they all headed out.

-

They were to meet Leliana’s scouts next so once they reached the designated location they set up camp and waited. Dorian pulled out his notebook and closed his eyes, trying to recall that view out the mouth of the cave in his memory. It was difficult, having it interspersed with flashes of agony, but he just tried to focus, drawing the mountains as best he could.

He was only half paying attention, but when the scouts arrived, he overheard them relaying the most likely locations that the Venatori could be held up. They kept close watch on large sections of the mountain range to ensure safe passage, so that at least narrowed down the possibilities. Now they’d have to rely on chance more than anything, picking a direction and just hoping they got lucky and stumbled across a hideout.

Dorian couldn’t help but glance over at Elden who was standing by himself watching the gentle snowfall. He was hunched slightly, arms around himself and Dorian wished he wasn’t turned away so he could see his face properly. He didn’t look cold, perhaps he was in pain? Vivienne approached him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder to get his attention so she could pass him a vial to drink from.

Dorian wanted to just damn it all and go to Elden as well, wrap his arms around him and just hold him tight, reassure him, do anything he could to ease the pain just as Elden had done for him so many times. But he couldn’t. He kept remembering how Elden had flinched away, on the warm blood on his hands, and, honestly, focusing on those memories of torture somehow felt less painful. So, he looked back down at his notebook and continued to sketch.

-

By the time they had a route planned out, it was growing dark so they settled in for the night. There would be no sleeping anytime soon for Dorian so he sat with his legs drawn up close, staring moodily into the fire, grateful that the others had either retired for the night or were off keeping watch. He never did well when left alone with his thoughts, so of course they strayed to Elden as they so often did these days.

Dorian had been the one cut open in those reawakened memories, but all throughout had been a sense of urgency and a great concern for Elden’s safety. They’d been trying to get him to harm Elden (trying and ultimately succeeding he reminded himself) so he supposed it was warranted. There had been so much blood in his memories, but as he stared down at his hands, it was Elden’s blood that came to mind, dripping down and staining his robes, his skin, and he could still hear the quiet sound he’d drawn from Elden, the way he’d held onto him so tightly as he slumped to the ground. He wrenched his eyes away and looked back into the embers in the fire.

It was looking less and less likely that they would find the antidote in time. What were they supposed to do then? Just watch as Elden withered away in front of them? Dorian would likely be haunted by what he had done, blood magic or no, for the rest of his life. If it actually led to Elden’s death, what was he supposed to do then? How was he supposed to live with that, knowing that he himself had destroyed someone he respected and cared so deeply for? How had any of this happened?

He nearly jumped when footsteps brought him back to the present, but for once he was grateful for the interruption. Unfortunately it turned out to be Elden. He sat close beside him, too close, and Dorian resisted the urge to move away. True, distance between them was the last thing he wanted right now, but there was still so much hurt there. Would he ever stop feeling like a threat to Elden?

“The stars look nice,” Elden said and Dorian barked out a short, bitter laugh. He couldn’t help himself. It was just so like Elden to want to talk about stars when everything was falling apart around them.

“That’s it, then?” he asked. “That’s all you have to say?”

“No, but I didn’t think you wanted to talk about anything else,” Elden said, unphased by his reaction.

“What exactly is there that hasn’t already been said?”

“The avalanche-- I thought I’d lost you then. I don’t want to lose you again after everything. Please don’t push me away like this,” Elden said, sounding so heartbroken as he tentatively placed his hand over Dorian’s where it rested on the ground between them. His movements were so hesitant, giving Dorian plenty of time to pull away. He should have, but now that he had that contact he was reminded of just how desperately he’d missed it

He studied their hands clasped together for a long moment. Should he weigh the risks? Determine if they were stronger together or apart, even if it put one of them at risk? Would it still be worth it if they destroyed each other in the end? But perhaps none of that truly mattered. Neither of them could simply stop caring. And if this was it, if Elden didn’t live out the week, Dorian would hate himself for pushing him away when all he wanted to do was pull him close and do whatever he could to make him smile. He sighed heavily before bringing Elden’s hand to his lips briefly.

“Then tell me what I’m supposed to do,” Dorian said, feeling so tired.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I want you to be by my side,” Elden said earnestly.

“Until I actually manage to kill you or the poison succeeds, right?” Dorian said grimly, wishing he hadn’t spoken at all. Why did he have to make this so difficult? And why was Elden still making it so easy?

“Stop blaming yourself,” Elden said. “Whatever happens, this wasn’t your fault. You have to believe that.”

Dorian had nothing to say to that that wouldn’t end in an argument and he was just so tired. “I’m sorry,” he said instead. “All I’ve done lately is hurt you. And I’m selfish enough to still want to be here with you. A better man would probably stay away.”

“Then what does that make me?” Elden asked, bumping his shoulder lightly with a sad smile. “I must be far worse because I’m selfish enough to want this as well. I hate seeing you put yourself through this though. I just-- I don’t want to see you go through this alone. And, frankly, I don’t want to go through it alone either.”

Dorian leaned into him and Elden immediately wrapped his arms around him. Right now, Dorian wanted nothing more than to feel Elden, his warmth and his heartbeat as he enveloped him. It eased the agony brought on by those reawakened memories as well as reassure him that Elden was here, still alive and with him. Perhaps not safe for the moment, not while poison ran in his veins, but at least he was alive in this moment. That meant there was hope. And Dorian would do whatever he could to make sure Elden got through this.

Next -->

Tender Pt. 1

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Reader and Seb lock eyes at a convention, and he hopes to see her again.

Warnings: It’s ‘real life’, so there’s going to be naughty language.

A/N: I need to be stopped... No clue why I started writing this in third person, but I hope it works regardless. My first RPF! I’M SCARED! Reader is part of the Game Grumps in this; cousin to Suzy and half sister to Ninja Brian. Oh! And I made Tom Holland younger than drinking age in the U.S. (21).

@cassandras-musings Idk if you want in on this. If so, let me know and I’ll tag you as usual.

Next >>

“Come on, guys! The sooner we can decide, the better the chance we'll have of getting the days we want,” Suzy chided.

Y/N pouted. “But it's so hard when we don't know who's doing what or when. I don't wanna miss something awesome because we scheduled too early.”

Suzy sighed, “Fine. What's the one thing you'd hate to miss if it happened?”

“Shit...” Y/N pondered it for a moment. “Hannibal or Supernatural cast appearances.”

“That's two!” Arin yelled in his typical fashion. “You don't know how to count ‘one’?!”

“I can't choose! How about you choose which eye you wanna lose?”

Suzy looked to Danny for help, who just giggled from his spot on the couch. She should have known better than to think anyone would be of any help. Ross and Barry stepped out as soon as Suzy walked into the game space looking all business, and Kevin had his headphones on, determined to focus only on his work.

She threw her hands up in the air, “You guys are impossible! That's it,” she said as she pulled her phone out. “I'm calling Brian.”

Y/N groaned. “Suuuuze,” she whined. “I'll die if I miss either of those. You remember how bad I took it when Hannibal was canceled.”

“God, don't remind me. You were so adorably pathetic,” Dan finally spoke up.

“And it'll be worse if I'm at the same convention unable to see them.”

“What about you guys?” She gestured to Arin and Dan.

“Uhhhhhhhhh, Sailor Moon,” Arin said. Suzy facepalmed. “Uhhhhhhh, I guess I just wanna check out the anime booths and the gaming demos.” Suzy looked gratefully at her husband.

“Ok!” she said more cheerfully than she had previously felt. “Dan?”

“Gaming demos for sure, Zelda, um…”

“Cool! Barry picked the same. Ross said Doctor Who and Brian said Marvel.”

“Oh! Game of Thrones!” Danny yelled, making Suzy groan.

“Hell yes!” Y/N agreed, sharing a high five with him. “I wanna meet Jorah fucking Mormont.”

“Giiiirl, me too.” Danny did a hair flip.

“And Jaime Lannister.”

“Oh shit, yeah!” This time it was Arin that spoke.

Suzy sighed again before leaving the room. “I'll go make some calls.”

“Wait!” Y/N called out. Suzy turned expectantly. “Bruce Campbell?” She expected Suzy to roll her eyes, and was surprised when she was met by a grin instead. “And Aliens!” she tacked on, earning her a glare. “I love you, Cuz,” she said sweetly, causing Suzy’s stare to soften.

“I love you too. But no more!” she sent her a pointed look before finally leaving the room.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

A week later, Suzy called them to the meeting room to go over the convention schedules.

“Ok!” she clapped her hands together. “Thursday, the first day of the convention, is our only day off, but-” she tried to bypass the groans she knew they'd let out. “BUT!”

Arin laughed, “You said butt twice, babe! Butt butt!”

“Anyway!” she continued. “The Game of Thrones and Civil War casts are doing their panels, photo ops, and autographs then. Y/N, I'm sorry, but hardly anyone you wanted to see is going to be there. No Jorah, Jaime, anyone from Hannibal or Aliens...” she trailed off.

“Dammit!” she yelled. Ross laughed, causing Danny to give him a quick smack to the back of his head.

“I know, I'm sorry.” Suzy still felt guilty, even though she couldn't control it. She sighed. “Ok, so Friday is a full day for us all. Arin, Dan, and Y/N, you guys are doing Game Grumps Live, then photos, then another Live, then the first Grump panel, and autographs. The rest of us are doing photos together, then we split for different panels. I'm  doing a ‘Girl Gamer’ one, Ross, you're doing an animator’s one, and Barry and Brian are doing a YouTube one. Then we all meet up and do the panel and autographs together. Everyone got it?”

“Do we get any breaks?” Barry asked.

“Yeah, we get about an hour for lunch, but that's all.”

“So carry snacks. Got it.”

“Ok, on Saturday, Y/N and I are running the Grump merch booth, while the rest of you will have the morning off. The Doctor Who, Batman v. Superman, and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. stuff will be going on then. Then Barry will join us in doing photos. We're going to be in our Victorian costumes, guys. I'm so excited. Y/N, after our photos are done, we're going to get some of our own with the Supernatural cast.”

“Fuck yes!”

“We can get autographs too, if you want?” Y/N could tell she was still feeling bad about her not being able to meet anyone else.

“Pictures are more than enough. Thanks, Suze.” She smiled when she saw the tension leaving her cousin's body.

“It's no problem. OK, in the afternoon, Arin and Dan, you have a gamer panel and then autographs. Ross, you’ll be running the booth with Brian until he has to run his workshop, then you’ll be joined by Barry after he’s done with photos. Sunday is another full day. Dragon Arin, Sir Daniel, Ninja Brian, Princess Y/N, and Barricorn will do photos while Ross and I run the booth. Then we do our second panel and autographs, then you guys do your Starbomb/NSP show while we sell more stuff. Aaaand that's our con schedules.”

“Why are we only working the booth two days?” asked Ross.

“Because then we wouldn't have time to do anything fun!” Arin yelled. “Unless you wanna not meet the Game of Thronses people and work the booth yourself…” Ross sank down on the sofa.

“It sounds perfect. Not only do we get a chance to see whoever we want, but you gave us a half day in between two really busy ones,” Y/N praised, causing Suzy to beam.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sebastian loved going to the conventions. That was where he could see first hand the impact his work had on others, and he was never disappointed. Fans would often get emotional when being in his (and his co-stars’) presence, not realizing that the encounters mean just as much to him as they do to the fans. The whole cast was scheduled to begin the first day of the con with autographs, and he was grateful. He could have his coffee on the table and he wouldn’t be all sweaty from the day’s heat and activities for the selfies he was taking with fans.

He was in the middle of signing a shirt with Bucky and Steve on it when there was a commotion just beyond the crowd. He ignored it as best he could, talking to the fan about the shirt and her favorite character, but the noise only got louder. Suddenly, the girl who was stood in front of Anthony to his left started cheering, too.”

“Who just walked in?” Anthony asked her.

“The Game Grumps!” she answered excitedly.

Sebastian knew Anthony would ask who they were, but he never got the chance. On his right, Tom jumped up onto his seat. “Where?!” he squealed, attempting to look over the crowd. “They don’t have anything scheduled today, do they?” he asked the fan.

“Not that I know of.”

Sebastian laughed at the young man’s excitement, and gave a passing glance through the sea of bodies before returning his attention to the shirt in front of him. He did a double take and his breath hitched, eyes growing wide. Among a small group of people was the cutest girl he’d ever seen. He was in such a daze that he barely notice the ‘HEY GRUMPS!’ that the boy beside him called.

Everyone, including the girl, turned their attention to their section. What they responded, he didn’t know, all he saw was the sweet smile the girl sent Tom’s way. She scanned the tables, and when her eyes landed on his, he forgot how to breathe. She held his gaze, her own eyes gone wide, until she looked down. Sebastian released the breath he was holding, but still only watched her.

She slowly looked back up at him, cheeks burning. His eyes softened and his lips twitched, wanting to smile. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and offered him a shy smile. He gave her a big grin in return, fighting the urge to turn away at the blood rushing up his own cheeks. Her attention was abruptly torn from him, and he felt like someone had pulled the chair out from under him. When she turned back, her smile was replaced by an almost sorry look.

“STAN!” he heard from his left. Chris was sat on Anthony’s left, and both men were looking at him, clearly amused. “What are you looking at over there, bud?”

“What? No- nothing,” he blubbered out, ignoring their snickers. He looked over to where the girl stood, and his face fell. Just like that, the moment was over. She was gone.

“Well, if it’s nothing, mind finishing up on that shirt? You’re holding up the line,” Anthony teased.

His eyes snapped to the girl still standing before him, patiently waiting for her shirt with a knowing look.

He face- planted the table and groaned, quickly composing himself and offering the fan, and his friends, a sheepish apology. He went back to signing and chatting with fans, but the girl never left his mind. He couldn’t help but feel hope as he replayed her reaction to seeing him over and over. Maybe she recognized him and was a fan, and it was only a matter of time until she appeared before him wanting something signed. He’d ask her name, and it wouldn’t be weird; they always asked fans their names. He wasn’t sure whether to ask her out for drinks or dinner. He supposed he’d know when the time came. But that hope waned as time passed with no sign of her.

~ ~ TAG LISTS ~ ~

Permanent -  @melconnor2007 @ria132love @psychicwitchphilosopher @sireennotsiren

Journal Entry #1: The Beginning

It seems I lost my old journal in the fade, so Cassandra gave me this new one. I would say that was kind of her, but I think she only did it because my constant pouting irritated her.

"You lost your journal in the fade??" You may ask, person who isn't supposed to be reading this? Well well, that's quite the story. Where to start...

I woke up in a dungeon. That's new, never happened before. Kind of exciting.

I was interrogated for something I had no knowledge of...

Well, maybe that isn't completely true. I have these... blurry memories. I awoke in the fade, with what appeared to be giant spiders chasing me. Lovely, right?

I, of course, ran as fast as I could away from those monstrosities and towards this... light. The closer I got, the more I could make out what it was. A woman.

I reached out to her, but... that's all I can remember. I woke up bound in a cold dungeon after that. I was made aware that the conclave had been destroyed, and everyone in it- everyone but me- was dead. The sky had been torn open as a result, a thing they called the Breach. I was to be blamed, seeing as I was the only visible suspect. Oh, and did I mention I also now posses a glowing green mark on my hand that reacts to the Breach, as well as closes smaller rifts? No? Well, yes, that's a thing.

This is also where I met Cassandra, the human woman I mentioned earlier. The one who gave me this journal. She's a Seeker, a title which I had never heard of prior to her. I should make a note to ask her more about the Seeker order later...

Anyway, she did the interrogating, along with a redhead named Leliana. The Inquisition's Spymaster. She was much more level headed than Cassandra.

That mark I mentioned earlier, I was told that it was killing me. Which honestly wasn't surprising because it felt like it was killing me. I don't think have ever been in that much pain before... Whenever the Breach expanded, I could feel it. From my palm to my jaw bone, this... burning. Like my whole arm was melting, on fire... I've started to refer to it as a "flare".

I was told that my only chance may be attempting to close the Breach. I would've agreed anyway, I wasn't so eager to die, but when I looked around at all the chaos... everything on fire, demons everywhere, the sky literally falling down... I felt like I had to do something. I was in over my head, I knew that, but I also knew I had to stay and help. That's why I haven't run yet, even after being freed.

But we'll get to that later. First, let's continue before I get ahead of myself...

We left Haven, the place where I was being held. Our first stop being the forward camp, then the Breach.

I have never felt such fear before. The way to camp was littered with demons. Sure, I had seen such creatures before, even fought one or two, but the sheer number of them... I felt as if I was facing down an army, and I had barely even left the relative safety of Haven.

We managed to survive, thankfully. I kept my composure, and Cassandra turned out to be an incredibly skilled warrior. We got more help along the way, as our paths crossed with two others. Solas, a fellow elven apostate, and Varric, a dwarf with a crossbow named Bianca. Solas, as it turns out, was the one who kept The Mark from killing me. I'm not exactly sure how, but he did.

... It just occurred to me that I never thanked him. I was very overwhelmed at the time, but still... He deserves thanks. Another thing to remember for later.

I won't bore you with the rest of the details, so in short, we killed some more demons, The Mark had another flare, I met an ass named Chancellor Roderick, an important choice was left to my hands for some damn reason, and we saved some scouts. Normal day, really.

Well, almost normal. When we got closer to the temple... One thing that'll forever haunt my dreams are the bodies of those caught in the explosion. Faces melted, forever frozen in horror... The pain and fear they must've been in... I don't really want to write anymore on it, I think you get the picture. It was horrible.

When we finally made it to the Breach, something... strange happened. We heard disembodied voices, both unfamiliar and familiar. We found strange red lyrium, too. Something Varric seemed to recognize. And yet again, another thing to ask about later.

We got closer to the first rift that had spawned, right in the middle of the Temple of Sacred Ashes... Which, ironically, was now actual ashes.

As we did, a vision hit us all. Or, more like a memory. My memory... The Divine's? That... Thing's? I couldn't say. But we saw it, blurry as it was. It started with me, blindly barging into trouble as usual. Something, a great shadow with red eyes, and the Divine, restrained by red... energy, I suppose. She yelled to me, told me to run and get help, and the shadow ordered someone out of sight to kill me... and that was it.

It was the strangest feeling, watching something I should remember through what felt like somebody else's eyes. And I still couldn't actually remember a damn thing.

It was clear now I was there for whatever happened, but I didn't appear to be the guilty party anymore. That didn't stop Cassandra from going back into interrogation mode, but I could hardly blame her. I want answers, too.

Solas said something, but my mind was swirling too much to really pay attention. Something about... echos? "Echos of what happened here.", is how I believe he put it.

He then mentioned the rift had been closed, but not sealed. I could open it, then seal it, but in doing so it would attract demons. And that it did.

A pride demon, to be specific. I had never seen one until that moment. It was... terrifying, to say the least. The whole day was terrifying, honestly.

But we made it. We beat the demon, sealed the rift, and I, like a total badass, was knocked unconscious. At least I lived, I suppose.

When I awoke, I was back in Haven, a frightened servant there to greet me. I still can't tell if she was scared of me, or just scared in general... She fell to her knees, and begged my forgiveness for a fault she hadn't even committed. Or at least one I wasn't aware of. Honestly, I've never felt more confused in my life. I had barely been awake for a minute, and this is what I had to deal with.

She then called me, "my lord" which made everything worse. Nobody should be calling me that, much less bowing to me. It was... wrong. It made me feel wrong.

She then told me that I had been brought back to Haven, and that the Breach and my mark had stopped growing. I was safe, for the moment. And so was everyone else, though they thought I had saved them.

I had a part, true, but I wasn't their savior... Just a helper. I really couldn't have done it alone.

Regardless, Cassandra needed to see me in the Chantry as soon as I woke, so when the girl ran off that's where I headed.

The walk there was the most uncomfortable and surreal thing I have ever been through. People stood, waiting for me. Kneeling for me. Saluting me. Me. A Dalish mage. I still can't quite get my head around that.

Long, boring details cut short, Chancellor Roderick thought I was still guilty, Cassandra and pretty much everyone else in Haven had changed their minds. Cassandra even went as far as calling me the Makers "chosen one" for the mark on my hand. I was quick to point out how ridiculous that thought was. A human God choosing an elf as his chosen? An elf who didn't even believe in him? How could that ever be? And why would anyone ever believe that?

The Chancellor objected, but Cassandra silenced him by pulling out a writ from the Divine. If I hadn't respected her before this moment, I do now. The way she practically backed the Chancellor into a corner was quite a site. I was kinda in awe of her, not going to lie.

In that moment, she declared the Inquisition reborn. The Inquisition... "People who banded together to restore order in a world gone mad."

I will admit, when Cassandra and Leliana asked me to join I was tempted to leave. Not that I didn't want to help, but I just couldn't help but think of my clan, of Athine... I wanted to be there for them as the world crumbled, to protect them. I still do. But what kind of person would I be if I didn't stay? I'm needed here, this mark is needed. And... people believe in me, as strange as that sounds. What kind of person would I be if I turned my back on them?

And... I believe in the Inquisition, I truly do. It's rare to find people who genuinely want to help, to do good. Most people are power hungry, or just cruel. Or both. But the Inquisition... they don't seem to be like that. Not yet, anyway.

So, we got to work. Ravens sent, new armor made, even a ceremony with a giant crowd as we raised the Inquisition banners. Standing there, with all their eyes upon me... it probably should've been inspiring, and I guess in a way it was, but I'm just glad I didn't puke or faint or something like that. I've never done well with attention nor crowds.

But anyway... it's official. I'm now directly in the middle of this mess.

Creators preserve me.