so i have a question to nd people, do some of you also got this urge to "behave correctly" all the time, like you created this whole personality to please adults but then had your moments were you just got a lil bit excited, perhaps looked kinda crazy, talking too much, moving too much, laughing too much and doing things you don't normally do but actually you do but in your mind, like you look "normal" on the outside but your mind was always super messy full of ideas and stuff happening but tried your best at hiding and now everything's kinda falling(?? so now you have identity crisis or something???

Me when I’m told all the symptoms I thought I didn’t have like hyperfixations, need for routines, being unable to understand social cues and norms, sensory issues, taking things literally etc are all things I regularly do I was just taking the definitions **too literally** to understand that I had them.

Hey, I saw a post that really pissed me off and I just have to come here and say it, this may be the 20th, 50th, 100th time you read something like this, but it's important. And clearly still needs to be said if we still have ignorant assholes among us.

Self-diagnosing is absolutely valid. ABSOLUTLY. VALID. If you start heavily relating to symptoms in the neurodivergent community, and you understand that it's the intensity level that separates these things from being something that "everyone does" then you're fine. You're absolutely fine. If you have an understanding, you've done heavy research, you've related back symptoms to times in your life when they could've been signs, then I don't see why not.

Not everyone is privileged enough to get an official diagnosis for some reason or another. And you know what? Getting an official diagnosis can actually be further debilitating. There's so many posts about that. People instantly infantilize you for it.

You can tell the difference between someone "claiming" to be "neurodivergent" for attention, and someone who actually knows what they're talking about.

Real ironic for neurodivergent people to exclude people from their spaces when in need of help, support, and comfort.

If you're skeptical about someone's claims, by all means, inquire about what they know, but be kind about it.

I find it funny when someone self-diagnoses themselves with autism, allistics and neurotypicals are always the ones complaining about it. “You can’t diagnose yourself! You’re mocking people with actual autism! It isn’t valid! You’re taking away resources from actual autistic people!”

But, then diagnosed autistic people themselves will look at that same self-diagnosed person and be like: “Oh, yeah. You’re definitely one of us.”

Also, the question is this; What resources are we taking away from diagnosed Autistic people? What resources are there for us to take? And, how would we do that anyway?

Why self-diagnosed autistics are valid

medical diagnosis can be expensive

humans are the experts on their own minds

family may prevent assessment

diagnosis criteria is a poor checklist of stereotypes

diagnosis criteria ignores gender, race, sexuality, culture & more

medical diagnosis confirms autism, but doesn't create it

discrimination within the medical profession may prevent diagnosis.

Assessment waiting lists often long

medical trauma may make assessment unfeasible

Neurodiverse Journeys

truly what is r the main differences like ACTUAL differences not things in common with adhd and autism

Neurodivergent people are never undiagnosed. We are misdiagnosed. Our symptoms don't go unnoticed, and people will always attribute them to some sort of cause. They'll just attribute them to personality and blame the individual for their symptoms.

For example. My autism is not undiagnosed, it's been misdiagnosed as "too sensitive," "awkward," "rude," "obsessive," and "too intense." My brother's adhd wasn't undiagnosed, it was misdiagnosed as "lazy," "impulsive," "annoying," and "can't seem to get any work done."

Growing up without a diagnosis is growing up believing that you are to blame for your differentness. Your symptoms are a personality flaw. You are diagnosed by everyone around you as "weird."

Edit: Some people have pointed out that I'm using the word misdiagnosis here rather loosely. I'm aware that it isn't quite correct definitionally, and I don't mean to say that medical misdiagnosis and the type of social misattribution I'm talking about are identical--just that they are related phenomena, and neurodivergent people are often victims of one or both. There isn't an exact term for what I'm talking about here, so I used the closest one I knew of. Terminology is important and some words need to be used with precision to retain their influence. At the same time, sometimes meanings change, and bending words to fit new circumstances is a natural way that language evolves. I'm not sure which situation this falls under, so while I don't want to change my post (not even sure what to change it to), I thought I'd edit and add clarification. Additional feedback on this is welcome.

Neurotypicals take drugs to experience everyday shit for neurodivergent people like “Bro I was so high I had to turn my tv down to taste my pizza” yeah that’s a Tuesday night for me

POV:

That autistic getting told they're "book smart not street smart"

(This happened to me Monday)

Can we please stop using the phrase 'junk food'?

No food is 'junk' if it keeps you fed, no matter the nutritional content (or lack of)

Your needs, abilities and circumstances fluctuate and change, so sometimes you'll need to rely on foods that are more convenient/cheaper/readily available

Your diet can fluctuate but your worth doesn't

Never feel ashamed of doing what you need to do just to keep yourself going

one of my least favorite neurotypical customs is how long it takes to leave somewhere. My mom will be like “alright it’s time to leave” but we stay like 10 more minutes because people can’t stop talking. We get two feet before stopping again. We stand in the doorway for 5 minutes. It’s annoying and stressful and puts my brain in constant waiting mood.

if someone could write a book on how to do everything ‘normally’ with specific step by step instructions that’d be very appreciated!

i dont like to talk about self-diagnosis because i dont enjoy people making assumptions about me, my illnesses, and my diagnostic status. but i will say:

i have self diagnosed and gone on to be medically validated with an official diagnosis. multiple times actually. i was never wrong about my self-diagnoses.

however, i have been misdiagnosed by professionals FIVE TIMES. and let me tell you, a professional diagnosis being wrong is far more harmful than a self-diagnosis being wrong.

if your self diagnosis is wrong, maybe you used the wrong language or put yourself in a box or now feel invalid and whatnot. but if your professional diagnosis is wrong, it can lead to abuse, medical trauma, panic attacks, issues with medication, even suicide.

i was misdiagnosed with BPD when i was 15 by a psychologist that i spoke to for hardly even 10 minutes. this diagnosis was based on my parent's description of my reactions to abuse, and the diagnosis was used to validate and excuse their abuse.

i was misdiagnosed with MDD when i was 12 and put through several different types of anti-depressants. we never found anything that worked, because it was actually ADHD and dissociation, but i did end up with panic attacks and insomnia all throughout middle/highschool!

when i self-diagnosed with autism however, it saved my life. it took me out of active suicidality because i was able to finally able to accept myself after years of feeling like i am just "being a person wrong". i had the knowledge to accomodate for myself and the language to advocate for myself. this was life changing. even if i was wrong, which i wasnt, i dont see how it couldve caused any harm.

my opinions on self-diagnoses arent black and white, and im not entirely settled on them either, but i do think this is important to understand. doctors and psychologists are not all knowing. we live in a time where we can access thousands of dollars worth of university level education on the internet, even the same exact resources medical students use. plenty of people are capable of interpreting themselves and that information to come to a conclusion about what they are experiencing and what might help.

sure, self-diagnosis might be biased. but a professional is most likely going to be just as biased, and possibly less aware of it. its just silly to use bias as a primary argument when it is an inescapable feature of human psychology. there is a reason ADHD is underdiagnosed in women. there is a reason anxiety disorders are underdiagnosed in men.

an incorrect self-diagnosis wont take away resources or your space in your comminities. but professional misdiagnosis can cause real damage.

(i am not trying to fear-monger about professional diagnosis, moreso responding to the fear-mongering surrounding self-diagnosis)

When I mentioned my (apparently hot) take that I believe self-diagnosed people are valid, I got a handful of (my first!!!) hate comments.

So I thought I'd elaborate.

People who are self-diagnosed with anything might just end up being default settings. That's okay. What's not okay is denying someone aid on the basis that they don't have a diagnosis.

I always carry earplugs because a bunch of my friends have auditory sensory issues. None of them are diagnosed with anything, but I've helped them through panic attacks nonetheless.

If a stranger came up to me at a loud event and, seeing I have earplugs, asked for a pair, I wouldn't hesitate to give them. Don't bother giving them back, I buy in bulk.

Maybe that person was a neurotypical with sensitive ears, or maybe they were an autistic person with auditory sensory issues. I'll never know. But if my response was, "Do you have autism?" that would just make me a jerk. If their response was "Yes," and I then demanded paperwork as proof of their autism and therefore eligibility for ear plugs? That would mean I'm violating their privacy.

One of my friends had a panic attack at a loud event where she was working, and someone took her shift without question when they asked if she was okay and she said she wasn't. That's being a cool person. Saying "Well, you're not diagnosed with autism," and refusing to help her on that basis while she is clearly in distress is not cool. Even if she is neurotypical, anyone in distress merits help. Just because someone can swim doesn't mean they need breaks to keep from drowning, and refusing them a lifesaver on those grounds is just being a jerk, especially if there's no one else who could use the metaphorical lifesaver.

One of the main reasons I'm pursuing being a psychiatrist is so I can give my friends the diagnoses that I know would make their lives easier. I have the privilege to be diagnosed. They do not. I want to help give people free therapy and diagnoses since, at least in the United States, money is a huge barrier keeping people from diagnoses.

Me: I’m autistic

Person: Are you diagnosed?

Me: Well it’s been confirmed by more than one professional, my old diagnosis was written on paper for my IEP but it’s outdated now (Asp*rger’s), I’ve scored very high on almost every autism test out there, and a lot of my teachers, friends, and some of my family members have suspected it

Person: Okay, but are you diagnosed NOW?

Me: …No?

Person: Then you’re not autistic.

Undiagnosed Autism

Autism Parenting + Wellbeing