Me: tries to look at manhwa on my phone during study time because the words will not enter my brain

Math teacher: no phone >:(( put it away >:((((((

Me: staring/zoning out on my empty desk still not being productive

Math teacher: I see no problem with this

Now THIS is how you start your morning.

Anyways, y'all hunters want sum chocolate waffles?

🫂

this one right here. this one is important to me. it's not cartoonish, it feels so genuine. so truly loving and sincere. definitely one of the best

Throwback to the time I commented ‘I’m aro/ace’ under a YT video and all the comments on my comment were ‘those pronouns are fake. You damn liberals’ or something like that.

Reblog if your pronouns are also aroace

It makes me happy when they listen

holy shit i just learned something beautiful

I keep quoting “my acocunt” for several months and I just realized it’s from my own screenshot and not a popular post

It’s not always bad

But sometimes I just can’t remember

And that makes me so scared

Things like depression, anxiety, and a whole host of other things can really mess with a person's memory.

Things like depression, anxiety, and a whole host of other things can really mess with a person's memory.

The process of remembering and recalling: my thoughts don't really happen linearly I just have all the connections in my head, and they appear when needed "linear" is kind of like a video, or listening to something. They happen in a line, which makes it difficult to understand I feel like some people learn or remember things progressively/linearly or their memories happen in a line my memories are more like a chaotic soup I barely remember anything all the details/little things are actually more memorable than the times and places so I can remember that one time when we went camping and my dad burnt my sock when trying to dry it out but I don't remember where/when/why or anything about that trip that way of remebering applies to how I learn I know a detail or that I need to remember a thing and I just jump to it the things are all interconnected, and there is a path needed to get there but it's not time based or progressive ideas have multiple connections so I can relate them to multiple things/get there from multiple places I like the spiderweb analogy someone used, about how all the things are interconnected so that's how my brain works it's annoying in some cases, but at the same time makes it easy to learn things

The process of understanding emotions: I can describe physical feelings Not emotions Because I experience emotions as physical feelings like for example, Sad is A heavy feeling, Deep empty cavity, In chest Heavy heavy, Through the floor, Collapse. anger is explosive supernova being held together by pressure so it's very focused like an explosion happening continuously at the bottom of the sea so it stays the same size that is also a gender I experience a compressed supernova/explosion happy is more floaty but intense "skyrocket" but it's a feeling with flesh and stays in same place also flaps the point is I'm not sure what specific emotion words fit those I can feel the general ballpark sad/angry/happy/anxious/calm but anything more specific than that is a feeling that I can better describe with physical descriptions rather than emotions it's a method I use to organize things I use lists and metaphors and physical descriptions I've always used metaphors to relate unfamiliar things to things I already know lists to organize sprawling concepts or tasks that I can't take one thing at a time until I better understand it and the physical descriptions are somewhat related to metaphors but they're just how I understand my emotions If I don't understand what another person is feeling in a way I can relate to myself then I'll usually pinpoint a specific emotional word like one you'd find in a dictionary and process it logically for example if someone's angry then I figure out whether that anger is resentful, furious, frustrated, or something else then I use the definition of that emotion I have in my head and find the proper response or advice or solution so I don't have to feel it myself because I've "researched" or learned about the definition and books/other people/logic give me enough examples or a starting place and then I can solve the problem so it's difficult for me to put my emotions into words because the words aren't specific enough to match what I'm feeling but words are a good starting place to figure out someone else's details different solution for different specific to figure out specific, you start with one word, then add labels/words

So yeah that's certainly a lot of words

A Ramble About My Thought Processes

The process of learning and understanding:

sometimes when I'm researching I come across someone that has very different experiences like if I'm hypersensitive to something they're hypo sensitive and then that means that I'm all confused and can't understand what they mean at all

however, for those that I do understand, a good chunk of the time they're repeating the same experiences using the same words

the things that really give me a boost of knowledge and deepen understandings are when I find something that's the same experience and I can relate to, but from a different point of view or method of explaining

for example it's like solving a math problem if someone describes something using a certain metaphor then I can "solve" it to get the same answer I have

it's like simplifying/relating it to me but their analogy or explanation is slightly different so I add on a bunch of tiny details that I hadn't though of before the same experience, but different perspectives means looking at it "from the other side" and then putting the two pieces of the puzzle together and seeing where they lie in relation to each other

it's kind of like looking at 2 2-dimensional images of something, and then suddenly you have a 3D model in your head now, instead of just recalling the picture, you can rotate and zoom in on the object/idea, then you can adjust it better to fit it into your understanding

that's when it goes from being "a piece of knowledge" to "understanding of an aspect/topic" which you can then manipulate or have control over it goes from being something that you're trying to figure out to becoming a reference that can be used to explore other things

A Ramble About My Thought Processes

The process of learning and understanding:

sometimes when I'm researching I come across someone that has very different experiences like if I'm hypersensitive to something they're hypo sensitive and then that means that I'm all confused and can't understand what they mean at all

however, for those that I do understand, a good chunk of the time they're repeating the same experiences using the same words

the things that really give me a boost of knowledge and deepen understandings are when I find something that's the same experience and I can relate to, but from a different point of view or method of explaining

for example it's like solving a math problem if someone describes something using a certain metaphor then I can "solve" it to get the same answer I have

it's like simplifying/relating it to me but their analogy or explanation is slightly different so I add on a bunch of tiny details that I hadn't though of before the same experience, but different perspectives means looking at it "from the other side" and then putting the two pieces of the puzzle together and seeing where they lie in relation to each other

it's kind of like looking at 2 2-dimensional images of something, and then suddenly you have a 3D model in your head now, instead of just recalling the picture, you can rotate and zoom in on the object/idea, then you can adjust it better to fit it into your understanding

that's when it goes from being "a piece of knowledge" to "understanding of an aspect/topic" which you can then manipulate or have control over it goes from being something that you're trying to figure out to becoming a reference that can be used to explore other things

Barriers to diagnosis for autistic girls

no cuz its actually awesome when you ramble to me about things only you might care about. I love to hear you talk because you deserve to be heard

there is a difference between "i'm scared to do X because im afraid of judgement or being wrong" vs. "i'm scared of X because it confuses me/doesnt meet my needs." in autistic people, these can occur at the same time; but the former is probably caused by the latter... which is made worse by the trauma (ableism, abuse, etc) in our lives... and unfortunately, a lot of professionals don't realize this, so they blame all the struggle on poor self esteem alone.

so now, if you're wondering if your anxiety is linked to being autistic, here are some questions to ask yourself:

is my anxiety less severe if i'm in a familiar situation? do i feel comforted when i know what to expect?

is my anxiety made worse by communication styles (like small talk) that dont make sense to me?

are things that are usually distressing for me easier when they are explained in ways i understand?

is my ability to do things without distress related to how sensory friendly a space is? can i do X in a quiet, calm room, but not a loud, bright one?

do i feel better when i fidget? am i calmer in places where i know i have somewhere comfy to sit or something i like to eat?

where did i learn to judge myself for this? do these judgements sound like ableism against autistic people? (ex: they're so annoying, they never stop talking about [intense interest])

these are based on my own experiences, so they may not work for everyone but. learning how my anxiety connects to being autistic and experiencing ableism has allowed me to employ coping skill that are actually effective, and i want others to be able to do the same.

me thinking "oh im not neurodivergent shut the fuck up abelist me" but then i remember how when i was like 7 i hated the train whistle cause it was too loud, i hated explosions on this kids tv show about trains cause scary, i always went to sleep with the same random ass music playing to calm me down, i was addicted to lego, i was addicted to drawing these massive "secret laboratory" style pictures on the massive pieces of paper my grandparents got from the fish shop and did it for yearssssssss, i was always the kid who was like three years ahead of everyone else in maths and reading, i got really annoyed when i had a runny nose cause i didnt know how to blow my nose and NOT sniff and i was like "im doing the best i can," i HATE HATE HATED crossing my legs cause it felt weird, etc etc etc include 15 years of neurodivergent experiences

how did i not get diagnosed? i have no idea