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aashi-heartfilia · 6 months

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The hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao

*light novel spoilers*

I just love how hypocritical MaoMao's nature is. She yells at Jinshi for being a 'Masochist' and yet we see that she's no different. Now, by definition Masochist is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain and humiliation, plus it relates to Jinshi's tendency to do self harm (like burning his skin with a brand)

And what is MaoMao's most favourite thing in this world?

POISON

She literally takes pleasure in consuming it and no one can convince me otherwise. Plus she uses dangerous plants and animals and snakes whatnot in the name of her so-called experiments. Her dad may call her a 'mad Scientist' but that is a direct indication of self harm.

And she calls Jinshi a Masochist.

I mean, think about it! The amount of anxiety she gives to Jinshi! She came prepared with a vomit inducing medicine but even she had no idea whether it would work or not. She was just hoping it would work in the salt chapter.

And the same goes for her hand, on which she has conducted countless experiments. One flower even burned her skin and its marks never left her skin. She said it was all for her hobby. What kind of weird hobby is that? Maybe, our little adorable mad scientist is just like that.

One brands his own skin, while the other takes heavenly pleasure in consuming poison.

So my point is, Jinshi and MaoMao are not that different as one might think they are and that's why their dynamic works so well.

Let's look at the excerpts from volume 5:

She didn’t know how long they sat that way. All she knew was that Jinshi was looking down at her with a faintly triumphant expression, as if he saw that the breath had reached every corner of her body now. He wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she struggled to breathe. It was then that Maomao felt a flash of intense anger. “I said that if you were going to kill me, you should do it with poison,” she told him. “I refuse to let you poison yourself,” Jinshi said, his fingers tracing her lips. “You can’t pretend you didn’t know that you were one of the candidates. As much as I’m sure you’d like to.” He wasn’t done, either: “Who was that man, anyway? I’m sure you’re not a dancer.” So he had been watching them! “I was just paying for my drink,” Maomao said. “It didn’t cost much.” She tried to look away, but with his hand on her head, she really couldn’t.

Jinshi just choked her and yet he refuses to let MaoMao poison herself. A lot of people misinterpret this scene, and don't like it all that much, saying it was just fanservice stuff but this is how I see it: Jinshi wasn't trying to kill MaoMao, he was just trying to make MaoMao submit to him for once (even if the way he did it was very wrong, but guess he's kinky like that). MaoMao is actively trying to harm herself and Jinshi loves MaoMao a lot, he cannot just let her kill herself.

It was more about him trying to exert his dominance in their weirdish - complicated relationship and that also backfires on him as we see in the next volume that MaoMao escapes Jinshi's grasps using Pairin's techniques.

And then they both continue to avoid each other in the entire next volume! Because they both realised that they have crossed boundaries.

They both are hypocrites.

And they both refuse to accept their feelings.

In one of the later volumes, she gives Jinshi a piece of her mind on how he should tell her everything clearly, unequivocally, what he feels, and he literally declares that "he will make her his wife", which is nice and all but look at the wording MaoMao used here....

Excerpts from LN Vol 7, chapter 19 called "A man and a woman play the game"

"You’re forever telling me I need to use my words, Master Jinshi, but are you in any position to criticize? Everything you say to me, everything you do, it’s like it’s calculated to save you from ever having to actually say what you mean! To make me figure it all out! You know, you remind me of someone. You act exactly like a man who used to come by our brothel all the time. He was in love with one of the girls, but he would never just come out and say it. He thought it should be obvious from the way he acted. He was so sure he had a good thing going with this woman that he never sent her so much as a letter. I remember how forlorn he looked when someone else swooped in and snatched her away! He kept coming to the brothel after that—to get drunk and whine to the ladies. Well, in my opinion, he could have avoided all that heartbreak if he’d told the woman how he felt. Clearly, unequivocally, so that she knew where they stood. It was the least he could have done!”

Everything came out in a torrent. She felt like she’d said it all in one breath. It was strange, she thought, to hear so many words come out of her own mouth. She was mystified. Jinshi was no less startled, but the shock soon left his face, replaced by something else. He got up off the bed and stared down at Maomao.

Shit. Now I’ve done it. She’d given him a piece of her mind, and he was about to give her one back.

“So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what you’re telling me? I’m going to hold you to that! Right this minute. I’ll say it all. Don’t plug your ears—listen to me!” He grabbed her hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he seemed almost embarrassed. Finally he managed, “Now listen to me, y—I mean, Maomao! Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!”

It's one heck of a chapter and I suggest you give it a go! The title of the chapter says "A man and a woman play the game" as if to emphasize the very fact that both Jinshi and MaoMao are playing the game.

Jinshi has never confessed his true feelings before this chapter and only implied that he wanted to make MaoMao his wife.

The implications were heavy though on Jinshi's part, and as smart as MaoMao is, anyone would have guessed that MaoMao was one of the candidates for Jinshi's consort. Even the clothes she received (the ones she wore to the banquet) were also provided by Jinshi along with the hairpin. It is never stated outright but seeing as the hairpin was from Jinshi, the clothes are also implied to be the same.

More or less she's always deliberately ignoring the possibility of having anything to do with him, that is more than professional. Some may call it denial, I call it dense. Maybe, to some extent, she herself is not aware of her feelings because she never lets herself feel anything.

Even Suiren pointed it out pretty early in the manga, that maybe it's MaoMao's way of being reserved. We need to keep in mind that MaoMao is an unreliable narrator and it's more of what she does, rather than what she says that makes a difference.

Even in the chapter that I have quoted above, she had every reason to leave Jinshi, she wasn't working for him after all. But she stayed to make tea for him, even after the fact that she had a long day too. She was almost just as exhausted as Jinshi and yet she was there preparing medicinal tea, so that he could get a better sleep.

Maybe she herself is yet to realise just how deep her feelings run. Till vol 12 she seems to have accepted them, but she still is yet to acknowledge their depth. Maybe it's because of her childhood.

It's not a traumatic backstory but MaoMao had a sad childhood nonetheless....

She was raised by her grand uncle and her real father was eccentric, who scared her. Her mother must also appear to be kind of demonic to her, since she was desperate enough to cut MaoMao's Pinky finger and send it to Lahan. So it's safe to say that MaoMao never received proper parental affection. And adding to the fact that, a brothel is not exactly an ideal place for raising a child.... especially when the birth of MaoMao was the one thing that brought the brothel to its knees...even if being born wasn't her choice.

Plus MaoMao stated it herself that when she was a baby, no one would come to sooth her until their work was finished, implying that even if MaoMao and her brothel sisters are close, they are not that close. A mother's love is different and she never received it. No one can love you more than your mother and MaoMao was deprived of that. She soon realised that no one was coming. Life is hard and she has no choice but to face it!

So, she got interested in poison.

Maybe she doesn't love herself or her life as much as she says / pretends she does. She's always like "yeah, I would very much like my head to be with my body" and "if I stay low profile maybe I can survive here" etc but maybe deep down that's not the case. Maybe that's why she loves poison so much. The implications are crazy.

And to break MaoMao's shell, Jinshi has no choice but to be a bit more forceful at times? At least that's how I interpret that choking scene. Jinshi was angry at MaoMao because she deliberately suggested him to marry consort Rishu and danced with Rikuson.

Even if Jinshi never said it outright, he was giving hints the entire time.

But well the tables turned and MaoMao topped him instead, lol (vol 7) and later we even see that our little stray cat has accepted Jinshi and she's ready to be in a relationship with him (vol 12).

Plus she is intrigued by the process of birth (she wants to eat her baby's placenta, it's kind of uggghhh.... but anyways, that MaoMao we're talking about, she's just weird that way)

Maybe not after too long she'll realise that if she has to give birth, she can only have it with Jinshi and no one else.

~Sunshine

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arielleslipgloss · 3 months

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How to Reinvent Yourself!!

(none of these photos are mine!) “Pour yourself a drink, put on lipstick and pull yourself together.” - Elizabeth Taylor

Mindset!! This is one of the most important things that comes with reinventing yourself. Therefore that toxic, negative, insecure, and judgmental mindset has gotta go. Say hello to your new positive, secure, lavish, and uplifting mindset! Now, first thing you need to do is stop taking EVERYTHING so personally. Should you really be spending your whole day overthinking what this person says about you. NO! The only opinion that should matter when it comes to you, IS YOU. Next, think with a “so what?” type of mindset. Someone doesn’t like you? So what! Someone judges you? So what! Say so what, and move on. Lastly, take care of your mind!! You can’t create a whole new mindset if you don’t take care of your mind. So, heal whatever is making your mind stressed and fill your head with lots of good thoughts. You could compliment yourself, do shadow work, watch uplifting videos, just do whatever makes you feel good.

2. Set boundaries!! Not only should you set boundaries for yourself, but also for your relationships. Whether thats with a bf/gf, family members, or even friends. Whoever it is, they need to understand to not cross the line. Now, if they don’t understand then they obviously shouldn’t be around you. This year we are only surrounding ourselves around people who deserve to have access to us. Now, let’s talk about examples of having boundaries . First example, someone may be touching you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. For that reason you move a bit away from that person and clarify that they’re making you uncomfortable. If they call you selfish, so what? They need to understand to respect your boundaries. Second, someone is disrespecting you? Tell them that you don’t like their behavior and to stop. Last example, a stranger is using your belongings without your permission? Tell them that they should have asked and you don’t want them using your stuff. If any of these people don’t respect your boundaries, get them out of your life!!

3. Change the way you dress, talk, and walk!! I would like to clarify quickly, only do this if you want to. Moving on, I’ve learnt that slower walking and talking is better. Now I’m not saying to walk and talk in slow motion. Just slightly do it slower. This way, you can play attention to your behaviors more. It can be really important to observe yourself. Not only that but in a world moving fast, walking slow makes you stand out. Also make sure when you speak, it’s clear. That way people can understand you and what you’re saying. Finally, let’s go over the way you dress. Wear outfits that make you feel good, stylish, and fit you well. If you want to wear an outfit, don’t shy away. Wear it if it makes you feel happy! When you wear an outfit that makes you confident, the outfit is even cuter. Don’t forget, have fun with fashion and experiment with pieces.

4. Self-worth!! You need to understand that you’re an absolute BLESSING on this Earth. You are here for a reason and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. There is not a single flaw in you. You see your insecurities? Yeah, well someone out there has them too. Just because you have a few insecurities, doesn’t mean that should bring your value down. You should bring your value up and add taxes by realizing your worth.

“It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.” - George Washington

Love you dolls sm!! Remember to always wear a smile and stay pretty 💋

Pinterest: Arielleslipgloss

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emmafrostyyy · 7 months

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y'all sleeping on Astarion/Lae'zel bc this moment is so...the way the flippant demeanor drops and he doesn't hesitate to call her out for sticking with her version of Cazador like their relationship is so underrated fr...

sitting down writing this bullshit like let me peel it like an onion a bit and elaborate why this pairing is fascinating to me

It's really interesting how during the most cathartic, life-altering moment in Astarion's questline, the reactions of the other companions are more about the moral wrongness/guilt of sacrificing innocent lives. Lae'zel doesn't do that and instead relates to his hurt.

She knows what's he's feeling, the lack of control, the unfairness of being powerless for too long. This is a woman who just found out her entire life purpose was built on lies, discarded and hunted by her own people after outliving her usefulness, and groomed to basically die for an insane power-hungry lich queen. She knows all too well that power isn't always real freedom. Her first instinct is to empathize with Astarion to steer him away from his hate and resentment.

Astarion/Lae'zel is so interesting to me because they're such a classic "can we make each other worse or make a better person out of the other?".

They both have genuine appreciation for violence and respect each other's ruthlessness. Astarion was used as a weapon of seduction while Lae'zel was of warfare. Sex with people is meaningless and not real intimacy for them, and while both have little understanding/experience of interpersonal relationships beyond the physical, they still feel and love very deeply. They have no frame of reference for things like friendship and warmth, but they badly want all of that and more, even if they don't know it yet.

In-game they can sleep with each other, which is basically the foundation of the normal Tav/Astarion romance. Lae'zel saw him during combat and got horny, who knows. Astarion who's used to luring people with his charms, takes up Lae'zel's blunt offer because she's a strong hardened warrior that can provide protection and be a worthy ally, and he doesn't know how to say no. Navigating the complications between one who wants to be seen beyond as a sex object, and one who comes from a totally alien culture with no concept of love/family/connections and only sex is honestly really compelling to me. It's a transactional, mutually beneficial thing with no emotional expectations. Once you get past the skeevy rockiness of their early relationship, I really like the idea of them slowly seeing something past the exterior and realizing they may have harshly misjudged the other, an unspoken friendship blooms, and in comes the realization that they are essentially loners longing for kindness and a comforting touch in the most desperate of situations.

Lae'zel is prideful, direct, has no sense of courtship talk, and doesn't hold back her thoughts the slightest--she's not sweet/agreeable and what you see is really what you get, which I imagine would be disarming for Astarion who's used to vacuous flattery and has difficulty trusting others. But she's also insanely protective, passionate, loyal, and an initiator-- every romance scene is triggered by her first and she's always showing effort towards her relationships, which would mesh well with Astarion who does need someone to nudge him.

She doesn't purposely suppress her feelings, she's just simply at loss at how to express them sometimes due to her wildly different upbringing. She stops the sparring match you agree to and an easy vulnerability slips instantly out of her: "I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you, and for you to protect me." and "Thus far I've taunted you, devoured you, battled you. Now I want more than anything to soothe you." are romantic as fuck and Astarion of all people really needs to hear that tbh.

Astarion is also someone who struggles with reinforcing his boundaries, and a key theme in Lae'zel's romance is that she encourages and wants you to challenge her and learn to stand your ground. It's not gentlest method, but hey, relationships are about having to make an effort to learn each other's language.

I think he also would take pleasure "educating her on the matters of Fay-run" (I believe there's a whole banter with him teasing her and teaching her pet names) and would get a kick out of coaxing Lae'zel out of her shell with her shyness at showing public affection, and making her blush. Also it simply would be fucking funny to see Astarion who's used to easy seduction, trying to pass a persuasion check just to get a smooch and generally having to work to earn regular kisses from Lae'zel lmfaooo

Lae'zel also initially struggles to see her chains as chains. When she learns about Vlaakith's betrayal, she copes instantly through denial and shuts it down. Astarion is NOT having it and calls her out, he knows her well enough to recognize that she would value blunt honesty above all.

I imagine he also despises her lack of self-preservation, the way her entire identity is tied to duty and being in service of others, and doesn't understand her desire to still help/liberate the people that want her dead and are hunting her down. He wants to make this duty-bound soldier realize that looking out for herself, and putting herself first may not be the worst thing in the world.

They're so similar to each other but are also polar opposites in some ways that make a more equal, balanced romance I think. It's not a simple, one-sided, feel-good "she/he can fix her/him" fantasy because both of them have to earn each other's love, actually cut through the other's flaws, and actively motivate each other to be better versions of themselves.

They're not at all the other's ideal guiding hand. It's rough, jagged, and imperfect, but that's how healing goes. It's so far from being the healthiest relationship -- but even if their belief systems differ, their moral compass does often align. I imagine it's a slight relief for them to have a partner where there would be less shame and judgment when they expectedly, occasionally slip up and fall into their bad habits.

Also, man, the "You showed me the betweens and beyonds. Beyond war and peace, beyond passion and obsession, most importantly, you showed me freedom.", "First you were my wound, now you were my cure.", "But you saw something else in me - someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago.." lines really hit hard when applied to them.

Of course, they can also make each other worse, feed into the other's negative traits that will bring out the worst part of themselves. It's this duality of their pairing that is very interesting to explore, the way it can steer in either direction because it's an intense, fraught relationship at its core.

#when he gets called by omeluum “child of the dark” and her “child of the stars” like yeah..the squid man is being literal but he Gets It fr.#lae'zel #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 meta #astarion ancunin #astarion x lae'zel #lae'zel x astarion #the rarest of rarepairs they dont even got a ship name...this is so tragique we need to discuss the pathos and potential of this pairing #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 astarion #also im a sucker for stoic knight/court darling trope and whatever variations of it yeah #bloodbruise

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divinesangel · 2 months

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— 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮?

i felt called to do one of these today, enjoy!

— 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞!

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏

your future lover will absolutely adore how authentic you are. they will feel a great curiosity about your energy and how you navigate through life. they will be able to see through you and sense that your wisdom and personality are deeply influenced by your past or the experiences you've endured throughout your life. they will admire your resilience and emotional strength, while also appreciating how mindful you are about the things that truly matter and important issues. you are someone who, despite facing many difficulties and conflicts, continues to see the positive side of every situation and sets boundaries in your personal relationships. your energy will become something quite special for them, as you will be able to help them see things from a different perspective and progress in life. you tend to do this unconsciously, so it's very likely that you won't even notice how much you'll impact this person.

your person will always want to make you happy, and they will put in whatever effort is necessary to do so. they'll have plenty of love to give you, and you'll undoubtedly feel their affection. you won't have to worry about anything or question whether they truly care about you or things like that, because they'll always make it clear through their actions. i see them working day by day to make you happy and doing everything possible to make things work.

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐

you will become this person's rock.

this person seems to have spent a great deal of their life juggling numerous tasks without allowing themselves a moment to breathe. they feel like they must always be doing something and cannot pause to reflect on their feelings or internal conflicts. your arrival in their life is going to open their eyes, and they will see you as someone to trust, as that light at the end of the tunnel.

up until now, they have been feeling very lonely, and i sense that this is due to their lack of communication about their feelings. there is something preventing them from speaking about how they feel, and this only causes that pain to intensify further. however, i see that with you, they will begin to consider giving that much-needed inner change a chance.

they will adore that you are someone so stable and with such clear ideas. they will see you as a person with an organized mind who knows how to maintain composure in the most difficult moments and find a solution.

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑

this person will want to be with you on the spot!

they will see you as marriage material. it's highly likely that this person will want to move very quickly or that certain things will happen faster than expected. at first, it might seem a bit suspicious to you, but it's simply how this person operates. i sense that they act swiftly due to their emotions, allowing themselves to be carried away by them, which might lead them to want to marry you or commit rather quickly. they'll want to give you the world and more, although at times, they may have some doubts about whether their love is reciprocated or if you truly enjoy being with them.

this person will admire your character. you earnestly fight for what interests you and for the people you love. you have no problem defending what you believe in and anything that aligns with your values. they'll be aware that sometimes you may struggle to trust others due to past experiences, but they won't hesitate to show you their true intentions and anything else in order to be with you.

#pick a pile #pick a card #free tarot reading #free reading #tarot #tarot reading #pac tarot #pac #tarot messages #tarot pick a card

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 13 days

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AITA for being honest about what I would change about my boyfriend?

🥊🥊

I’m a cis guy (22m) and I have a boyfriend that’s transgender (20m). We’ve been together for 2 years.

My boyfriend is a very cute guy and he gets hit on a lot in queer spaces tbh. even by lesbians, and they fully see him as a guy. He’s just very sweet and approachable I guess. A lot of people tell him he’s super attractive and I agree, but there are just certain things about his body that don’t appeal to me.

We were at a friend’s birthday party. People got drunk, I was tipsy. We played this game that was like cards with questions about relationships/love/intimacy on them and the whole group would discuss.

One of the questions was something along the lines of "If you could change anything about your partner, what would it be?" Or whatever.

Now, I went first and said I’d probably make him less hairy and get rid of the dark spots in his crotch area and his acne scars. He has some discoloration around his private areas from a rash he got when he was like 13 and some faint scarring from pimples I guess. It’s not an issue, but definitely not my preference. Plus he can’t really shave clean down there because he has thick hair and it always makes him get those razor burn bumps or whatever. Fine by me, he’s hot as hell either way.

Plus, he has a lot of discoloration around his shoulders, back, chest and face from severe acne outbreaks from his puberty and then later again when he started taking testosterone. It’s calmed down a lot, but the scarring is still very prominent. It’s not an issue, just not very pretty to look at.

Please don’t get me wrong. He’s an incredibly attractive person, I just wish his skin was a little prettier. It’s a bit of a turnoff, that’s all. It never stopped me from being absolutely enamored with him.

But when I explained this, a little less explicitly than this of course, the group went dead silent. Everyone was staring at me, some of the girls even clasped their hands over their mouths etc.

When I looked at my boyfriend he was completely pale and was just blankly staring at me before getting up and saying he needs to pee. I just said okay and then gave the card to the person next to me. She very quietly said she’d take away her girlfriend’s anxiety because it hurts her to see the person she loves like that. That’s when it sort of dawned on me that I messed up and that I was way out of line for saying these things in front of our friends.

He apparently left soon after that, which I only found out through a friend. I was a little confused but figured he was just a little embarrassed. We don’t live together, so it isn’t unusual for one of us to leave before the other. But then I found out that his best friend left with him because he was sobbing and couldn’t stop.

I tried calling him and texting him for multiple hours and didn’t want to overstep any boundaries by just popping up at his home, so I gave up and eventually went home. That was two days ago and I still haven’t heard from him. He’s usually a very clingy and noisy person and always sends me small updates throughout the day, but I haven’t heard anything from him the entire time.

I’m so scared. I love this guy so much, he’s the sweetest and the single most interesting person I’ve ever met in my life. I know he has a lot of severe insecurity issues around his body, especially regarding his scarring. But it’s all gotten a lot better in recent months and he even began to love how hairy he is because it makes him feel euphoric.

Now I can’t help but feel like I took that away from him because of some stupid game. But at the same time, I don’t think it was fair for him to just up and leave without talking to me. We could’ve talked it out and I just wish he would communicate with me.

I already know I was a bit out of line for this, but I just tend to be uncomfortably honest. He knows this and loves me for it, so I’m confused why he’s THIS upset about this one. He’s never gone this long without talking to me.

Am I the asshole? I was just playing the game. I don’t think it’s fair to call me cruel for this just because other people are scared to be honest and say shit like they’d take away their partner’s mental illness. It’s so fake and that shit just pisses me off. Everyone has something they would change about their partner’s appearance.

#aita #am i the asshole

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zarnzarn · 8 months

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i see all these comments talking about this after the new episode, but. i would like to state for the record that stolitz isn't. toxic.

first off, the concept of a toxic and a healthy relationship are such... vague terms. when you're online, drenched in language and tight moral boundaries, trying to put a nuanced story like helluva boss's into boxes is easy to attempt and impossible to do.

a toxic relationship is one where one or both parties is maliciously affecting the other. I'm talking fetid, nasty, rude interactions where there is more hurt than love. they're unhappy more often than not when they're with their partner, there's no respect or give from the other side.

stolitz is nothing like that.

Stolas actively cares about Blitz and actually has no fear or hesitation in ADMITTING IT OUT LOUD TO OZZIE. he has been calling, texting, commenting, laughing and finding ways to spend time with Blitz. he's throwing everything he has to the wind, finding the courage to move forward with the divorce, putting everything he has into trying to keep him. he's been alone in a palace since he was born, on medication, with such less people dear to him that he remembered the circus boy who spent a day with him DECADES ago- so when blitz comes into his life and brings back in laughter and color and sex, he's holding on with everything he's got.

and blitz does care!!! he cares a LOT, the whole series we see him falling in love with stolas through SHOW NOT TELL (his expressions, his choices, his fear, his lashing out) and utterly unable to process that stolas cares about him too when talking to fizz; almost a desperate kind of denial-

cause yknow. the first time he tried to confess something to someone he really liked, he accidentally killed half the people he knew and ruined the lives of the rest?

thats gonna leave just a teensy impact on the will to express your emotions in the future, methinks.

even before that, he clearly felt like on some level that he was unworthy and he's said twice that he despises himself for the accident even though it wasn't actually his fault. being self aware doesn't stop the emotions from emotioning.

he keeps insisting its only sex so urgently to anyone who doesn't ask because he can't even imagine it being anything else. he's both disappointed and relieved when he repeats that stolas sees him as a novelty, because what else can it be?

(there's a whole other spiel of how brave both Stolas and Blitz have to be to say it out loud even when asmodeus can't afford to, considering how publically and completely beaten down both were at the club.)

(there's also another whole spiel about how frustrating it has been for ME to see all these comments over time with such bad takes based on like,, 20 min worth of info of a show that takes months to release an ep. like godDAMN have some patience?? let the story UNFOLD MAYBE? IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE AN EXPLANATION WHY WOULD YOU CRITICIZE THINGS THAT ARENT EVEN FINISHED ESPECIALLY AN INDIE ANIMATION- i digress)

mind you, this has NOTHING to do with abuse. an abusive relationship is one where one is actively harming the other with full awareness. Stella is an abuser and their marriage is abusive.

and stolitz isn't that; it isn't even unhealthy or toxic. it's a consensual, transactional fuckbuddy relationship that slid into something more for both of them.

but!!!!! one of the main reasons for the problems that everyone looks over is-

they're in a BDSM relationship.

I can't possibly delve into dynamics without making this a 10k research paper BUT even though we've gotten only hints and costumes and dialogue- they're very clearly and undeniably in a BDSM contract. Behind the scenes of this crazy show is a whole different story, of these two delving into the most hardcore kinks out there- knifeplay, painplay, bondage.

if you've gotten into the community, if you've read a couple dozen particularly good fics by authors who know what they're talking about, hell; even if your only experience is fifty shades or 365 or whatever- you gotta know that BDSM scenes are crazy fucking emotionally heavy. there's so much that has gone down between them during their full moons that helluva can't get into!!

but you know how in so many of these popular medias and fics, the dom in the relationship is also like,, the billionaire/mafia heir/prince, etc, the one with financial and physical power? this isnt that. it has been very clearly stated that stolas is subbing, blitz is domming.

now take a moment and think about how much that fucks up the dynamics.

in stolas' eyes, blitz is a confident, dangerous individual who's an old friend and cherished memory of his, who he's trusted wholly with his safety during sex and he's lucky to have; and he has been in an abusive arranged marriage for the past eighteen Years, he's probably not going to be pushing his luck with his dom that much in the first place. plus, blitz is never cowed by him during their conversations- think back to the first phone call right after he stole the book, completely unafraid.

and for blitz, it's someone trusting him again- but it's also a royal- a blue blood who's nearly untouchable and so much more powerful- who couldn't possibly like a piece of shit like him, apart from the sex he gets out of it. he only flirts once he gets some sort of cue from Stolas; he's desperately trying to view this as only a Goetia trying to get his rocks off, despite all the evidence to the contrary, because anything else is unfathomable to him, no matter how clearly Stolas shows it, because of the ptsd.

both of them thinks the other has the power. both of them aren't expecting the other to keep shut if something's bothering them.

and there's so much conflicting messages from the other too!

stolas calls him a plaything when trying to intimidate the humans; stolas cups his face gently and asks if he's alright

blitz asks him on a date and tells him to get better soon; blitz yells that it's only sex and doesn't reply to his messages

ya see?

bring it to fizzozzie for a second now; even though they do look all good on surface, you can still see fizz's trauma and doubt in all their interactions, they're still forced to keep the relationship secret. do you see his face when Ozzie says in hyperbole that he's never leaving the house again, or when someone accuses him of being a pampered house pet or when he got sexualized in the 7th ep? whatever happened in the interim between the accident with mammon, it fucked him UP. even though oz seems to be well aware of this when he tells him not to apologise and in their general interactions, fizz still visibly has trouble separating plaything/commodity from healthy relationship.

shout the fuck out to Ozzie btw, man knows whats UP. rooting for these two so much omg.

i forgot where I was going with this point, I'll edit it when i remember. but yeah! lovely fucking relationship, but damn what angst filled issues.

anyway, to sum up- stolitz is not a toxic relationship. the relationship is stuck sludging through misunderstandings and careless microaggressions and trauma responses, but it's not unhealthy or toxic because of the simple reason that most of the current hurt comes from... a misunderstanding. stolas didn't realise blitz would need reassurance about what they were and blitz didn't see stolas as someone who could get hurt.

unecessarily calling it toxic, even online, is more impactful than people think too. almost all spindlehorse ARE on all social medias; so MANY YouTube animators i know have found jobs there; they see your words, especially since a lot don't tag posts with "anti hb" correctly to keep them out of the main tag. there are Very few queer medias made BY queer people that haven't gone through heavy corporate revisions- helluva boss is practically a historical landmark in its success. it's very very very fucking easy to forget that not ten years ago some of the only queer videos on YouTube were butter lover (one kiss at the end post credits), dirty paws and welcome to hell (subtext).

the amount of "critical talk" helluva boss gets for what it is is very unprecedented. it's a beautiful show. can't wait for the next episode.

#helluva boss #stolas #blitz #stolitz #fizzarolli #helluva boss ozzie #okay im gonna make SO much content but i had to get this off my chest first #because so many people were like omg fizzozzie is so healthy stolitz take a lesson!!#and theres so much more nuance to it thats its so. frustrating to see a statement like that #meta #anyways #i love this fucjing show

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night-raven-tattler · 2 months

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What's your ideal type?

Summary: What would be the best traits for their potential partner to have?

A/N: I didn't want to leave Lilia out of the series even though I only write platonic relationships with him, so I wrote about his ideal friend instead. Enjoy!

Characters: Diasomnia dorm (Malleus, Sebek, Silver) x GN!Reader (separate, romantic), Lilia and GN!Reader (platonic)

Other parts of the series: Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde

Warnings: none

By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Malleus' ideal type would be...

Someone who playfully teases him. Malleus can be quite a tease himself, and enjoys seeing people squirm under his playful eyes. While he knows how it feels to be at the receiving end of that treatment thanks to Lilia, he'd still get surprised if you reciprocate.

Someone who can see beauty in the desolate. Being the goth king-to-be that he is, Malleus' tastes tend to gravitate towards darker aesthetics: abandoned buldings, antiques, vintage paintings and furniture, gargoyles... He can't help but be slightly upset when people mistake a grotesque for a gargoyle, but he's amazed when you correct them before he gets to.

Someone who can enjoy grand gestures. It's possible it is a byproduct of him being a prince, but Malleus and words such as "subtle" or "small" are from different worlds. He just wants to shower you with the best offerings to show his attention. Maybe his desire to put valuables with you is because dragons tend to hoard treasure?

Someone who isn't afraid to call him out on things. Malleus is many things: powerful, wise, capable and kind. But he's also stubborn, prideful and has a tendency to do things first and ask later. When he unintentionally crosses your boundaries, tell him. When he plans to do something before asking, tell him. Don't be his yes man. He'll respect you immensely for calling him out. After all, you ability to treat him like any other student is what drew him to you in the first place.

『••✎••』

Lilia's ideal friend would be...

Someone who appreciates cooking. Lilia is a creative person, and it really shows in his cooking (for better or for worse). While eating his food is... a bit of a challenge, your interest would not go unnoticed. Who knows, maybe enough interest would have him allow you join him for a cooking session! A perfect opportunity to stop him from being too creative.

Someone who can take his jokes and pranks. What can I say, Lilia loves having a good laugh, even if sometimes comes at the expense of pulling a prank or two. While harmless, his pranks can be annoying. Take them on as a challenge, and you'll never find your slippers again, or you will have all of your mugs laid on your kitchen floor face down once every 17 mornings. Depends on you if you find that fun or not.

Someone who gets along with Silver and Malleus. His sons are his pride and joy, no matter what. While Lilia knows that sometimes people just don't fit well together, he can recognise effort when he sees it. If you want that spot at the dinner table, you have to get along with his family first.

Someone who can still love the world, despite any hardships. Lilia has lived on this earth for long and faced heartbreak after heartbreak, uncertainty and grief. His healing is not over, and that's okay. He'll appreciate you talking to him about how the would doesn't suck that badly after all.

『••✎••』

Sebek's ideal type would be...

Someone who respects Malleus and Lilia. If you want any chance of even getting along with Sebek, you have to pay your respects to two of the people he respects the most. While you don't have to kiss the ground they walk on, a few nods of approval during Sebek's endless speeches about their glory and superiority would not go unnoticed.

Someone who likes praising him. I'm not saying Sebek is easily swayed by praise, but he'd be joyous to hear how well he's doing. He's a dedicated guard with perfect scores at school and a will strong enough to move mountains. While the praise directed at him would be something he's not really accustomed to, he'd stop trying to redirect the praise towards Malleus soon enough.

Someone who challenges him. Sebek is not the most agreeable person, but he's always open to learning and improving himself. He's just very, very stubborn. You don't have to dismantle his whole ideology about humans or anything like that. Instead, just give him the puzzle pieces: he'll enjoy the challenge to figure out your thought process while trying to prove you wrong. Whatever the outcome is, Sebek will always come out of the other side with a newfound respect for you.

Someone who can teach him how to be gentle. Yes, Sebek is loud, extra and arrogant. But, above all, he wants to do right by his loved ones. If you can teach him how to come from a place of compassion and genuine goodwill instead of having him default on his aggresive demeanor, he'd be quite amazed with you. His job was never to be kind and gentle, but he can still be those things while protecting the people around him. He'll treasure everything you'll teach him, and he'll hold you in his heart close to his idols.

『••✎••』

Silver's ideal type would be...

Someone who respects Malleus and Lilia. While Silver is not the type to sing their praises during every moment of the day, he respects his liege and his father more than anything. He can't have someone disrespect two of the most important people in his life. It's the bare minimum for him if you want him to pay you any mind.

Someone who is earnest. Silver is a kind and sweet boy. His help and advice are always genuine. His dedication to protect the people he loves come from a desire to pay back the goodwill of the people in his life. He might not notice when people don't have the most genuine intentions, but he can tell when you are a nice person, especially to the people around him. His wariness will quickly dwindle, and he will warm up to you in no time.

Someone who knows when to nudge him awake and when to let him sleep. Silver dislikes how often he falls asleep during the day, and has a lot of guilt from not being to stay awake. He really takes note of how people react when he falls asleep near them or when they wake him up. Even though he still feels very helpless against his curse, if you still treat him just the same then he'd feel the littlest bit less guilty about it.

Someone who shows him he's enough. Above all else, Silver believes in paying back the kindness he has received from the world. He works very hard, harder than needed. Sometimes he needs to be sat down and told that he is doing enough. He is enough. It will not change his hard working nature overnight, but acknowledging his efforts sure makes him feel like he's going in the right direction.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #sebek zigvolt #silver vanrouge #malleus draconia x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader #silver x reader

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dcxdpdabbles · 5 months

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There are so many fics out there where Danny is either adopted by or the biological son of Bruce. In many of these he might have an existential crisis but other wise he is fine and happy to be part of the BatFam. Where are the ones where he fights against this just doesn't want to connect with Bruce of the rest of the family.

One: Bruce is a billionaire and Danny has had some bad experience with Vlad trying to adopt/get him as a son. So even if Bruce is one of "the good ones" Danny does't like billionaires.

Two: Danny for the most part grew up in a mostly normal family and home, with two Parents and a sibling. Most of the BatFam were only children and parents are dead or came from dysfunctional homes. I think Duke is the only one who really had a normal childhood.

Three: The Fenton family is pretty openly affectionate with each other and are pretty normal emotionally. Danny has a great relationship with all of them (Danny went evil in the timeline where they all died). Most of the Batfam is emotionally constipated.

Four: Danny is used to his boundaries being respected. I don't think that the Batfam is great at that. With Bruce needing to know everything, Tim's stalking tendencies, Barbra's hacking, just to name the obvious.

Danny knew that he was adopted into the Fentons. His parents had never hidden it from him, but they never treated him as anything besides their child.

He had come into their lives one day when one of Maddie's old high school friends had called, bawling that she had gotten pregnant and that her husband wasn't the father. He had discovered the truth and thrown her out, leaving her pregnant and alone on the streets of Gotham.

Maddie had been furious at the affair- she hated disloyalty- but had decided to help her only for the baby's sake.

She had driven over multiple state lines back to her home city to pick up the friend only to find out she had taken her life and left her newborn son to Maddie. While Maddie had been able to escape the hellhole that was Gotham, Rebecca never got the chance, not with her average intelligence.

In high school, the two were as close as sisters until Rebecca fell into the whisky bottles her father carelessly left around. She blossomed into a beautiful woman upon their graduation- more so than Maddie-, turning from a sweet homebody into someone who got into exclusive parties and powerful men.

Maddie had slowly drifted away from her, so far away at college, and Rebecca fell further and further into the party scene. It was a surprise that she settled down for marriage and Maddie truly believed that she had been happy with her husband.

That's why Danny was such a surprise. Maddie did not know who Danny's biological father was, but she did not care. Not after they placed the sobbing infant into her arms, and she realized that she was his mother now.

She immediately phoned Jack to tell him what had happened, and he told Jazz she was a big sister before the call ended. They told him the story about when he started to learn his colors. Not with her taking her life, of course; that was when Danny turned fourteen. This was only a few days before Danny revealed he was Phantom to them.

They were first shocked, but then they became supportive. Phantom now had two proud ghost hunters following him, shooting photos instead of guns.

It was embarrassing, but it was also nice of them.

And that was that. Danny is a Fenton, adopted, but a child of Maddie and Jack Fenton all the same.

He never gave his biological parents a thought. In fact, he all but forgot about them until Sam convinced him to take an ancestry test. He had allowed her to swipe his mouth, package his DNA, and send it off to see where his people came from, completely forgetting that he would not match with Jazz, who had done the same thing a month prior.

His results were shocking, to say the least.

Somehow, someway, Rebecca Silver had been in the system of DNA samples, and they had matched him to her alongside his biological father.

Bruce Wayne. Rebecca had an affair with Bruce Wayne, arguably one of the wealthiest men in the country, and they had sent him a message to let him know he matched with his son.

An eccentric billionaire has just been told that Danny was his. He knew that song and dance well, and it was never fun to dance to. Danny could only stare at the results with dread as Sam apologized profoundly.

"Maybe he won't see it." Tucker tried. "I mean, Wayne is probably so busy with rich people stuff he doesn't have time to even look at his emails. Especially ones that will come in spam since it's comersolized."

"Yeah, Maybe" Danny doesn't think he's that lucky.

A month later, the Fenton's home phone rings. His parents are working on a new invention on the dinning room table, Danny is stretched out in front of the TV watching a mindless cartoon and Jazz is crocheting in the love chair.

It's a typical Tuesday night where everyone is doing their own thing but close enough to each other that they can call it family time. Jazz is the closest to the house phone so she picks it up with a cheerful "Fenton house, this is Jasmine."

Her smile slowly slips away as all the blood drains from her face. Alarmed by her reaction, Danny sits up. "Jazz? What's wrong?"

His words have his parents' heads snapping up, zoning in on their daughter's rapidly growing destress. Yes, they get distracted often with their work, but the Fentons have always been loving parents.

They quickly spring into action.

"Jazzy-pants?" His dad says, walking up to her and taking the phone from her slack hand. He covers the speaking end of it, not paying attention to the call as his mom hugs his sister. "What's the matter?"

"It's... Bruce Wayne's lawyer," Jazz says faintly. "He's calling about Danny. He said that Mr. Wayne has been attempting to take Danny back and that they are going to take us to court soon."

The room goes dead quiet, and Danny snorts. "He can't do that without a letter or something. Come on Jazz, it's obviously a prank."

Someone at school likely found out and thought it would be funny to make "the biggest loser of Casper High" Danny Fenton, think a billionaire wanted him as a son. Honestly, he wouldn't put it past the A-listers.

He laughs to show how stupid this prank is, but neither of his parents joins him. Instead, his mother closes her eyes and whispers, "We received his court papers weeks ago. We've been trying to get a lawyer."

What.

She pushes Jazz into his dad's arms, where his sister is slowly panicking. His dad tries to soothe her as his mom opens the drawer under the TV, pulling out three orange envelopes. She looks remorseful as she hands them to Danny. "We didn't want you to worry. I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner. Vlad said he would help, but he wasn't sure what he could do against such a powerful man"

And there, in overly complicated terms, is clear as day. Bruce Wayne wanted full custody of Danny Fenton and was willing to take the Fentons to court to get it done.

The man- who has never so much as met Danny, much less have a right to say what happens to him- was accusing his parents of child abuse and child neglect! He not only was trying to take Danny away but Jazz as well!

Where did this man get the audacity!?

"I don't want to go with him!" He shouts rage, making his eyes glow green. "I don't even know him!"

"I know, sweetie. I won't let him take you" His mom says, yanking him into a protective hug, and he realizes that her shirt is getting wet with his tears. Tears that fall just like the woman who raised him. "Everything will be alright."

It won't be, he knows, but he won't tell her that. He just lets his mother hold him, and when his sister and father crash into the hug a second later, he holds them just as tight.

He's not sure how they will win against Bruce Wayne, but Danny will fight his biological father every step of the way. He will not be his son.

______________________________________________________________

Bruce stares at the photo of Danny Fenton- his son. His boy, whom he wasn't aware was alive until a month ago- and the reports from concerned teachers and whatever information Barbra could pull from his classmate's social media.

Dramatically dropping grades.

Clear signs of sleepless nights.

Flinches whenever his parents pull out "ghost hunting" gear.

Strange bruises and cuts along his arms and legs.

His small stature is no longer growing properly like his peers.

It all pointed to one thing. The Fentons were abusing his son and Bruce would bet the sister was suffering from the same treatment if her own grade dropping, sleepless eyes, and desperate race to adulthood were any indication.

Bruce laces his hands, resting his chin on them as the Batcomputer slowly flips through various reports being quickly dismissed by incompetent social workers who all claim it was Ghost Hunter related and not a cause for concern.

Those same social workers all seemed to have gotten quite generous donations from one Vlad Masters, a well-known family friend of the Fentons.

He hates corruption that allows children to be hurt, more so when it;'s his own children.

"When do we go retrieve Brother?" Damian asks, green eyes narrowing in rage as the reports scroll slowly. Ever since he found out Danny is a blood sibling, all Damian has been talking about is getting his elder brother home. "I am displeased with how long it's been, Father."

"Soon," Bruce promises, aware the rest of his children gather around him. They don't speak, but he feels their protective rage at what Danny has gone through, and he knows they will use every last bit of their training to get Danny home. "Either through the courts or in person. Danny will be with us come summer."

"Good," grunts Jason. "I'll have a little chat with his adoptive scumbags when we get him."

"I'll help," Dick tacks on.

"I'll make it look like an accident," Tim says, voice leveled but eyes blazing as the reports get to the neglect section. He has personal issues about that.

Bruce has never been so proud. "Court date is set for three weeks. They can't weasel their way out of it this time."

Don't worry son, he thinks to Danny, I'm going to save you.

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #Rescue Mission Au #misunderstanding #TW: mention of suicide #Off screen but there #Danny is just ghost fighting #But Bruce thinks his son is being abused #Tw: Assumed child abuse #Danny will not be a wayne #The Waynes think he needs a hero not that he is a hero

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inkskinned · 1 year

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being single in your late 20s & 30s is so fucking wild bc on one hand it's fun and flirty and you skip a lot of the bullshit because you know what you're looking for and you know how to spot a red flag from a mile away and you've learned to set boundaries and communicate your own and be upfront about your needs and most of the time they've learned it too - and if they haven't, you can tell after the second date that they haven't been to therapy

and every time you feel lonely and dried up and an ugly husk there's a whole community of other single people out there who are just as unhinged and want to hang out with you because they just need a plus-one like you do and you get introduced to like. people in their 60's and 70's and 80's who are all like - nope, single life is my choice and i love it and you feel warm and seen and like okay, it's not the end of the world if i'm not seeing anybody. and yeah it's hard and sometimes exhausting but part of getting better is that you do make like so many friends and do so much wild shit because you made a promise to yourself that you'll actually get out there and try shit and actually work on your hobbies and skills and friendships because to be honest in relationships you wouldn't push yourself this hard and it's actually been super rewarding because it came from you and from what you wanted

and yes of course the apps such and dating in general can suck but after one of the bad dates you go back to your apartment and call up those friends you made and make jokes about what the other person said and it rolls right off your back and you have plans for self-care in the morning. you prioritize yourself and your happiness and you really actually don't mind it, a lot of the time, unless it's like at a wedding and they're doing one of those couples-related things. most of the time it's not even a problem except when you can tell people pity you for it and you're like - i'm actually fine, babe, even without a partner i am still, like a person and yes of course it would be nice to have a partner but you have established yourself as a person and as an adult in a way that feels really hard-won and well-earned and you're protective of that and of the life you're living and honestly you're pretty happy, all things considered

and at the same time you do have to tell your father that you are single on purpose right now and that, yes, believe it or not, they're letting women be single past the age of 30 these days without burning us at the stake (can you imagine!) and you have to kind of sit pretty while people make jokes about how you're losing your marriageability and you're like, a little too old for the bars and the clubs and whatever but you do still want to go out dancing and it's like. the other day you went to a board game party and had the time of your life and then your mom calls you and says she's worried because what if you never find the one, shouldn't you be spending more time looking? and you're like - trying to balance this place where you're actually, like, perfectly okay? except you hear this thing over and over and over - oh no. that's so sad. i hope you find your lover. and you weren't really upset about it until someone suggested that you're running out of time and until someone said that it's so miserable that you live without someone to kiss and you're like why can't anyone believe that i'm genuinely happy. like. joy. like. bliss.

and then they look at you and they look at their partner and the look passes between them that says - poor thing. you're just lying to yourself about this.

#writeblr #warm up #i sat down to write something that was literally 3 sentences long oops #the alternative text post was just -#sitting my 60 yr old father down and telling him i'm single on purpose and that they're letting women actually live without a husband #(and then a picture of samson wrestling the lion)#> would have been funnier #> unfortunately turns out i have feelings

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snapscube · 5 days

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on the name thing: i think people want to call you something different because they like you and want to feel like they're your friend by giving you their own quirky nickname. a show of affection or something. that's my good will interpretation of it because it's certaintainly something I can relate to.

also hope this is ok to say, but I miss seeing you doing facecam. you're gorgeous ^^ i respect if you don't feel comfy with it tho, it ain't easy and it's probably much comfier to not bother with it at all lol

have a great day, Penny!

(i know i literally just said im moving on from this but i felt like this idea was worth responding to, AFTER THIS i am moving on guaranteed) i get that! and thats why i stress that i feel this way regardless of intent because the last thing i want to do is cause guilt or demonize people for something that's ultimately pretty common. but even considering your example, with that notion comes a couple problems:

i am not your friend! i do think that there has been a bit of an OVER-correction when it comes to how people think about parasocial relationships and personally relating to people they admire, and generally i like to push back against the notion that having any parasocial relationship is a bad thing cause personally i think parasocial relationships are unavoidable and it's more about your expectations towards that one-sided relationship that become the issue. but two things remain true in either case: i know you so much less than you know me, AND you know me infinitely less than you think you do. so at the end of the day, it is not my responsibility to walk on eggshells about behavior that assumes an intimacy from me i am incapable of and especially uninterested in retaliating.

i have to stress that i am extremely aware it would be insane of me to expect to control peoples actions regarding this on such a large scale, and im also well aware many people come in who are new who get this info for the first time. i repeat the conversation in the interest of introducing those boundaries to people who are new and in general just reinforcing them. i try not to be such a stick in the mud about most things but this is something I REALLY care about, and so i give it the no-nonsense approach i think it deserves. on that note: understanding that there are going to be gaps where people either just do not know about my preferences or simply do not care doesn't mean i have to pretend like i also don't care about it. people can say whatever they want about me in their own spaces, you can call me whatever the fuck you want amongst friends. i do not care cause i do not have the capability to care, it's never going to reach me! but that does not mean i have to pretend to enjoy it if/when it DOES reach me, especially if it's presented as an option for me to respond to. if someone just calls me something weird in a chatroom it's like, i literally do not have the energy or overall scope of vision to react to every one of those instances specifically. there absolutely are things u just gotta let roll off of u sometimes. BUT, the reason we often get into this conversation repeatedly on my tumblr is because given the ask format i get a lot of people who go out of their way to approach me with name jokes or loopholes to an actively established preference as if they are looking for my approval on it. that is where it becomes a little more unpalatable for me.

and to respond to your second question: i appreciate the kind words on that! i sure would like to reintroduce facecam again someday somehow but right now my desk setup is not great for it haha

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saiyanmazen · 2 months

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Parenting styles in Dragon Ball Z (and Super)

You know, to me, the interesting thing about this scene (and the one where they could to the aforementioned park) isn't the fact that Vegeta keeps his promise.

It's the fact that he uses positive reinforcement to motivate Trunks.

Do you think Vegeta was ever rewarded for landing a good hit? Definitely not. It was expected of him.

As an expert in children's development, I find it fascinating to look at this example of Vegeta parenting Trunks and what it says about his parenting style. I've seen headcanons that go from calling 'Dadgeta' authoritarian to neglectful, but I disagree.

In the following, I will briefly describe the four styles of parenting with focus on the authoritarian and the authoritative styles. I'll also compare them to how DBZ parents appear to raise their children, but mainly focus on Vegeta.

Authoritarian:

This is the old school parenting method where restrictions and punishments go hand in hand. The parents expect the children to obey rules without a clear explanation as to why and corporal punishment is used when the children overstep.

Unsurprisingly, it seems like a lot of people believe this is how Vegeta raises his children (If he is even involved; I'll address this later on.) It was likely how he was raised.

However, the only parent we actually see using this style is Chichi. She's not entirely unreasonable, but we do see her expect things from Gohan without explanations and she has a lot of restrictions set up. This might have something to do with Goku's parenting style, but more on that later.

Piccolo also uses authoritarianism with Gohan, but he isn't trying to parent him, just train him.

What's really interesting is that children raised in a household practicing authoritarianism tend to hold a lot of anger inside. They also have low self-efficacy and high self blame. Remind you of someone?

Indulgent

Here we see nurturing, accepting parents who don't have behavioral expectations of their children. They are responsive to the children's needs and wishes, but do not expect them to be the same toward other people. The parents want to be the child's friend rather than a demanding parent.

Children of indulgent parents tend to grow up without a sense of others' boundaries and generally have less discipline than their peers. They lack impulse control and are often irresponsible.

In DBZ we do see signs of this parenting style, but only limited. It's not commonly used in Asia and therefore, Toriyama didn't add it. In GT it's obvious that both Trunks and Bulla seem have been parenting this way by Bulma. It's also why many doubt that Vegeta has been much involved.

It's also easy to argue that Goku parents this way, although it's up for discussion.

Neglectful

Although many think that the indulgent parenting style have created a generation of undisciplined young people, the neglectful parenting style has actually had a greater effect.

The parents are either more interested in themselves and their own goals than their children's. (Although sometimes it's because the parents struggle with stress or depression) Children of these parents are usually lonely and melancholic, often have very low self esteem and are needy after affection and approval. This leads them to be easily manipulated and they are at a higher risk to end up in abusive relationships.

I think many of the Vegeta antis and those claiming Goku is a bad parent would place the two Saiyans here.

However, Goku is clearly involved in Gohan's upbringing, albeit choosing a more casual approach than Chichi, and returns after being dead for seven years, ready to be involved with Goten (and Gohan if he wants it). The reason that Goku mainly focuses on training isn't just because it's his own interest. It's what he knows for sure how to do.

Most importantly: it was how Goku was raised himself. First by Grandpa Gohan and later from his other father figure, Master Roshi. It isn't just in his blood; it's in his upbringing.

And then there's Vegeta’s parenting style which was my main focus for this post. It got a little out of control, but we have finally arrived at the last parenting style:

Authoritative

This is the most modern parenting style, even though it isn't really new. It's been used for years in well functioning familes. This type of parent is both demanding and nurturing, being present and engaged in their children's lives. They explain things to their children, teach them how to regulate their feelings and therefore expect a mature behavior from them.

Children of authoritative parents tend to be more successful in their adult lives, capable of discipline and well-liked. Because they aren't constantly being restricted, they naturally develope autonomy within set boundaries and learn to respect others, regardless of authority.

So, what does this have to do with Vegeta and Trunks?

As I mentioned in the beginning, in the scene in the Gravity Chamber, Vegeta uses positive reinforcement to motive Trunks. Positive reinforcement has proven to be a healthy way to motivate children (and animals) and is a part of the authoritative style. By using it, Vegeta provides Trunks with rules that foster motivation and discipline in the child. The fact that Vegeta knows about the amusement and can use it as an incentive also shows that he is involved enough to know what may get Trunks to do his best.

But the most important thing we see is that Vegeta upholds his promise, despite hating every second of it. It shows that he respects Trunks' efforts and achievement. By honoring his word, he also teaches Trunks to do the same.

Of course, this is a small scene and we don't know how Vegeta behaves otherwise in regards to Trunks. But it's safe to say that Vegeta does take his son's wishes into account and uses it to encourage him to move beyond his limits.

I admit that I'm not a fan of GT and don't consider it canon, especially because of Toriyama's lack of involvement. So, while I dislike many aspects of DBS, I do think it's the best representation of the characters.

In Super, both Goten and Trunks are well adjusted boys who both have discipline and test the boundaries of their autonomy. They act like boys their age, albeit with incredibly strength, and it goes to show that their parents have raised them well.

Of course, it's also important to remember that both DBZ and DBS (and even GT) are a product of their time and the parenting styles reflect that. DBZ is from the 80's where the authoritarian (Chichi) and indulgent (Goku) styles were the most common. GT is from the 90's where the media started to focus on indulgent and neglectful parents - even though it wasn't a new thing - and it's shown that Trunks, Bulla and Goten have grown up as spoiled and undisciplined. DBS shows that the parents in the show have become authoritative and their children's behavior reflects that.

It's clear that the parents are doing their best and that the fathers have become more involved nowadays than before. This is the case in modern parenting as well.

Anyway, this is the end of my long rant. I think, as both an expert in children's development and as a parent myself, it's interesting to look into the relationships between the characters, especially the father-son interactions which are explored the most. There's no doubt that Toriyama knew the importance of being a father and wanted to portray it, mainly in Goku and Gohan's relationship.

I don't think Toriyama saw Goku nor Vegeta as bad fathers, but he knew that everyone has different strengths, even in parenthood.

#dbz essay #parenting styles #vegeta #trunks #goku #chichi #gohan #bulma #bulla #dbgt #dbz #dbs

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itsascreambaby96 · 8 months

Note

Stu Macher smut where readers a little bit sassy yk? And Stu gets a little upsetty which leads to smut (Sorry I suck at this idk I’m nervous)

Aww sweet anon don't be nervous! I like the idea! I hope you like what I did with this!

Warnings: Smut! 18+ MDNI! oral (male receiving), p in v sex, facial, name calling, swearing, tiny bit of angst(reader is overthinking), stu calls reader sweetheart. And good girl but only twice. Thigh riding. I think that's it.

Pairing: Stu Macher x fem!reader

Accept my apology?

It was exam season at university. So of course you were busy studying as well. Most people understood when you blew them off because you wanted to pass. The only person who didn't seem understand was your boyfriend Stu. He was done with his exams already. Now he was bored and you were not nearly paying enough attention to him. In his opinion of course. You've already spend the whole last day with him, giving him all your attention.

He has been annoying you for a couple hours now and your patience has been running thin.

"Come on Babe I'm bored as hell. Why can't you put your stupid notes away for a while and we can do something fun." As he said this he wiggled his eyebrows.

You were so done with his bullshit but still you continued. That was until Stu had enough and grabbed your flashcards.

"HEY!" You were not amused at all, other than Stu, who was grinning ear to ear.

"Give them back Stu!" You were tired and stressed.

"Mh what do I get if I give them back?" His pointerfinger was at his chin pretending to think.

"My gosh Stu can you for once act like an adult? This exam is importsnt for me and you are ruining everything because what? You are bored? Newsflash! You are not five years old! There are plenty of other things that you could be doing right now instead of keeping me from studying!" After your little rant Stu's eyes hardened, so you won't see the hurt in them. He threw your cards on the ground and left your dorm without another word.

With a sigh you knelt down to collect your cards. Were you too harsh? But he never respected your boundaries. And this exam was important.

Later that night after you were finished with studying and after taking a nice relaxing shower, you tried calling Stu. But he never picked up. After the third time you grew a little worried. Have you hurt his feelings? After trying for the fifth time you gave up and went to bed. You had to apologise tomorrow somehow.

That is why you ended up in front of Stu's door. A Pizza in hand as a form of apology. Your exam went well, you realised afterwards now how rude and mean you were to Stu. He didn't deserve that.

You kept knocking at his door without an answer. With a sigh you sat down next to his door. If he was there he had to come out at one point right? And if he wasn't, well at least he would see you when he decided to come home. You looked at your clock. It was 14:30. Another sigh left your lips. The guilt for treating him the way you did, eating away at you. Your mind going to all different kind of places. Thinking that he will be grumpy for a few more days, to even worse scenarios, like what if he wants to break up with you now? You don't know how you would handle that. He is the love of your life, and you thought for him it was the same with you. What if you were wrong? What if he was with another girl right this moment because for him this relationship was already over?

Your mind kept spiraling. An hour after you showed up here you almost gave up hope. Standing up and taking the now cold pizza you turned to leave. Stu came around the corner right this moment. He was a little startled to see you here.

Without thinking much, you threw yourself at him, pizza box almost smacking Stu in the face.

"Whoa there sweetheart, I am happy to see you too." Stu chuckled a little, but he was confused.

"You didn't pick up your phone, so I thought you were still mad at me for yesterday...And then my mind kept thinking of how this might be the reason you are breaking up with me..." You mumbled into his neck, standing on your tiptoes because he was unbelievably tall.

"Why the hell would I break up with you over something silly liken that? Sure I was upset, because you can be really mean you know that? I am a sensitive guy after all." That made you giggle a little. He might say this as a joke but deep down he could be sensitive even if you were the only person seeing that side of him. Made it all the more special.

"Don't know, you know how my mind can get."

"Fuck yeah I do. You are way too far in your own head sometimes, sweetheart." He tapped his pointer finger against your head for emphasis.

"I was actually hoping to make it up to you." Your breath was tickling the skin of his neck and you could feel goosebumps raising on his soft skin.

"Oh yeah how were you planning on doing that?" His voice took on a different tone, deeper, raunchier. And not more than a whisper, making excitement bubble up inside of you.

"I am taking you like my ways of apologising?" Looking at him still grinning.

He closed the door behind him caging you against it. "Fuck yes I do. Especially the part about the Pizza." He gave you a cheeky grin.

You playfully rolled your eyes at him. But before you could say anything he leaned down and kissed you passionarely. Letting out a satisfied hum against his lips you pulled him closer. Your lips melted together in perfect sync. He tasted faintly of sweets, chocolate. You couldn't have him close enough to you. Not even a sheet of paper would fit between the two of you right now.

Stu bit and nipped at your bottom lip, it was almost painful, but you knew that he liked drawing blood from time to time. Heck he always eats you out when you're on your period too. It helps with the pain.

Parting your lips you let his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues dancing together, a bit of spit drooling out. Again Stu likes it messy.

He began rutting into you as the kiss progressed. Panting against each others lips.

You could feel him hardening against you, and with a little more effort you pushed him away a little bit.

His eyes were hooded over with lust, pupils blown wide. His cheeks had a nice rosy colour and his lips were swollen from the kiss. You were certain you didn't look much different.

Moving him around so he was pushed against the door now you dropped to your knees, before he could pull you in for another kiss. You opened his pants and pulled them down to his ankles. You could see the outline of his cock in his briefs. Yourn mouth began to water and you gave the tip a kiss through his boxer briefs. Stu let out a shaky breath above you. Smiling to yourself you began to mouth at his cock through his boxers. You were fairly enjoying yourself. The anticipation of having the real thing in your mouth soon, making wetness pool between your legs.

It wasn't often that you could tease Stu like this, so you were thrilled he let you go on this long. His whole boxer was wet now where his cock was. Deciding that you did a good enough job in riling him up now, you pulled his boxers down, his cock springing free. Stu hissed a little as the cold air if the room hit his heated up dick. But he didn't have to complain, because your mouth was wrapped around him in seconds. Normally you'd love to admire his pretty cock. How it is shaped slightly upwards, how deep pink his tip got and the precum leaking out of it, the vein that was running along his whole shaft. Truly you loved whorshipping his cock.

You knew Stu says the same thing about your pussy. 69 a favourite position of yours. But right now you could do as you pleased with him. And you were just as eager to get him inside of your mouth as he was being inside of it.

Everything about him was big, so his dick wasn't the exception. You always needed your time to take him into your mouth, but you were so eager that you almost didn't care, pushing your limits a little. He still wasn't completely in. That would be sheer impossible, but with the speed you took him in right now, it leaves Stu breathless. His head dropping against the door as he let out a string of courses. His fingers weaved into your hair. Letting out a satisfied hum at the salty taste on your tongue you began to work your magic. Bobbing your had up and down, jerking him off with your hands on the part that you couldn't fit into your mouth.

Stu was not disappointed. You were really making this messy. He could already see drool running out of your mouth, the sounds you were making only added to his aroused state. Gargling and gagging when you went a little too far. But again you were eager.

Sucking at the sensitive tip from time to time too, which you knew always drove him wild.

"Fuck aren't you the best girlfriend ever? Look at you? So eager to suck my cock. Fuck you look so good. You always do. But right now? There isn't a better place for you."

You keened at his praise. Another thing about Stu? He could never shut up. Not even during sex. One time he really tried to have a whole conversation with you, while he was railing you over the couch.

You kept moving your head, relaxing your throat to take more and more of him. Tears were running down cheeks, mixed with make up. You had him almost down completely but you knew you were at your limit. More spit kept drooling out of your mouth as you kept going. Stu's grip on your hair turned harder and with a push forward you had his entire length inside of your mouth. Your eyes widen and you looked up at him. More tears streamed down your face.

"Fuck yes. Look at you. Looking like my personal whore. Fuck college, you should do this professional just for me." Your cheeks warmed at that. "And then you wouldn't have to snap at me that I am behaving like a child. Humiliated by my own girlfriend. You know that is unacceptable."

With that he kept thrusting his entire length inside of you. You were gagging and crying but honestly? Your panties were drenched by the way he was talking to you and treating you. Holding onto his thighs for dear life. He was really enjoying yourself.

"What would your professors think if they saw their good little student like this? I know you are best in your classes. Surely they would expect you to be such a whore for your boyfriend." His voice was so deep and sounding strained, turning you on moreHe was reaching so deep, you were sure your throat would be sore for a few days, but it was so worth it. Your cheeks burned in shame. But it came from a place of arousal.

You knew he was getting close, you could feel him pulsing. Looking up at him he quickly pulled out of you. Your mouth opened on instinct and you helped him jerk himself to finish over you. The first spurts of his cum hit your face and you closed your eyes. Deep groans came from Stu as he gave you every last drop.

Once he was finished he kept looking at you. The thing why he loves cumming on your face is because it makes you look like his. Sure he knows you are his, but there is a primal part in his brain that wants to claim you like this. Mark you as his, so that any other male or female knows you belong to him.

Opening your eyes carefully you looked up at him with big eyes. Stu's eyes haven't lost their hunger. Quite the contray, they looked even more intense now.

Not breaking eye contact, you lifted your hand to scoop some of his cum from your face and put it in your mouth to suck it off. Another deep groan escaped Stu as he saw you doing this and fully enjoying yourself. Again another primal part of his brain getting pleased. He kicked his pants and boxers off and took of his shirt.

He gripped your arms after you sucked the third scoop off of your finger, lifting you to your feet. You were a little wobbly, your knees hurting from the hard wooden floor.

"Not even the Mona Lisa looks as pretty as you now." Stu rasped, making you blush even more. He dragged you over to the couch and sat down on it.

"Bring me something to drink, would ya?"His legs spread wide you got a little distracted by him.

"Sweetheart you know I don't like asking twice." With big eyes you scambled to the kitchen, knees still weak. You returned with a glass of water and a beer, as you didn't know what exactly he wanted. Returning, you saw he got really comfortable on the sofa. Upon seeing the two drinks in your hands, and the fact that you haven't cleaned yourself off he gave you a genuine smile.

"Aren't you a good fucking girl?" He took the water and chucked it down, opening the beer afterwards. "Here is how it's going to go sweetheart. You are going to ride my thigh until you cum, then I am gonna fuck that disrespectful attitude right outta ya. Understood?" You nodded quickly.

"Good. Now undress for me. Slowly. I wanna enjoy myself."

Who were you to decline him. Removing your shoes and socks first to have them out of the way. You lifted your shirt, slowly of couse, revealing more and more skin to Stu, who was watching you like a hawk. He let out a groan as he saw you were wearing his favourite bra of yours. You gave him a happy smile, glad that he appreciates it. Then you turned around, shimmying out of your pants, bending down, giving Stu a nice view of your ass. You heard a breathy "fuck" as he noticed you were wearing the matching pair of panties to your bra.

Slowly, with your back still facing him you unclipped your bra and took it off. Cupping your boobs with your hands you slowly turned around.

"Come on show them to me." His voice was demanding and he took a swig of his beer. Slowly you peeled your hands off of them. Stu's eyes immediately dropping to them. Your nipples standing proud and internally he was dying to wrap his lips around them. But that would have to wait. You still had to remove one item.

As you took of your panties, Stu could see a string of your arousal connected to them. There was actually a big patch visible on them that Stu hasn't noticed, because he was distracted by your tits.

Still feeling confident, you threw your pantis at him. Stu took them. Then he did something you wasn't expecting. He actually sniffed them. Biting your lip, you could feel your pussy clench. Your eyes widen as you saw him licking the wet patch of your panties. His eyes closing and him groaning, like he just tasted the best thing in the whole world, which to him was the case. He kept doing this a few times and you were growing wetter by the second.

Stu threw your panties to the side and patted his thigh, signaling for you to come over and start.

You scrambled over to him and took your seat on his thigh. You could feel the muscles underneath it.

"Don't be shy. Start. Show me how desperate you are to cum for me."

Slowly you started to moved your hips against his thigh. It took you a little to find a good angle that was catching your clit, giving you some much needed friction. You let out breathy moans, closing your eyes and getting lost in the feeling. Stu gave your thighs a soft slap. "Keep your eyes open. I want to see the desperation grow in them." Nodding you complied even if it was hard.

You started to grind harder on him, quickening your pace. Sucking Stu off has already riled you up so much, you just wanted to cum at this point.

"You really are a whore huh? Making a mess on my thigh. Look at you. So needy." Stu flexed his thigh and it catched your clit in a way that made you dizzy. Your pace became erratic, your legs were burning at this point. You needed to cum so bad, you wanted to gush all over his thigh. Stu took another swig of his beer, watching how your eyebrows creased together. He knew you were close. Another swig and he put the beer away, gripping your hips to make you halt.

You looked at him confused and flushed.

"Change of plans sweetheart. The only way you deserve to cum and make it up to me is on my cock." You nodded dumbly, your mind already fuzzy from how close you were. Standing up again you almost drop to the floor, but Stu held you firmly, helping you take your seat in his lap. You could feel his hard cock pressing against you. With as much strength as you could muster you lifted yourself up a little, gripped Stu's length and sank down on him.

Your mind was reeling at finally being full of him. It was quite the stretch, but you were so wet he easily slipped in. Stu let out a dark moan. Your warmth enveloping him completely.

"You take me so well all the time sweetheart! Fuck. Swear this pussy was made for me." You only mustered a nod, already fucked out. Stu began to thrust up into you, making you fall forward onto his chest. Whimpering as he drilled into your pussy. He was determined to fuck the attitude out of you just like he promised.

You were holding on for dear life as he didn't let up. Your pussy juice coating the both of you. Stu pulled your face up to give you a heated kiss, that you couldn't hold for long as you desperately needed the oxygen. Stu grinned at that. Your face was still covered in his cum.

"God I should take a picture of you like this. So I always know what a good little whore you are for me when you piss me off." You could only moan in response.

"Need a whole stack of them, cause I sure as hell would ruin them just like I am ruining you right now huh?" Gosh he really wasn't shutting up ever. But you couldn't really focus on anything he was saying. The only thing you could concentrate on was how he was stretching you out, his tip hitting your Gspot every single thrust. You were seeing stars at this point.

Your release came without much of a warning. It came crushing through you and you were a moaning babbling mess, feeling yourself clench around Stu hard.

"Fuck that's it sweetheart look at you. What a sight!" Your ears were ringing and Stu still kept thrusting into you.

Lucky for you and your poor abused pussy, Stu didn't take that much longer before he came inside of you with a deep thrust. He kept grunting for you to "take everything I give you." And you didn't have much of a choice than to oblige. Not that you wanted to.

The both of you were sweaty and Stu moved you both so that you were lying on top of him on the couch fully now. Panting, you could listen to his heartbeat which helped you calm down slowly.

"You're amazing. You know that?" Stu's voice was rapsy. You lifted your head to look at him, giving him a soft grin. "Oh I know." He chuckled and gave you a big kiss. You hummed. Enjoying the post orgasmic bliss and cuddling for a while was one of your favourite parts. Stu drew patterns on your skin.

Then after a while, it was getting cold by now, he slipped out of you, making you whine. He sat you onto the couch, drapping the blanket he had here, thanks to you, over you so you could cover yourself up. He went to the bathroom and emerged, with new boxers on and a wash cloth. Sitting down next to you he started to clean off your face.

"Almost a shame cleaning it up..." He mumbled and you softly pushed against his shoulder, making him let out a soft laugh.

After he was done you stood up and waddled to the bathroom yourself. When you came back to him you put the blanket down, as you now wore one of Stu's favourite shirts. And it was only his favourite because you looked so good wearing it all the time.

Stu patted next to him and you plopped down. He gave you a glas of water which you eagerly took and drank. You really needed it. He turned on the TV and pulled the pizza onto his lap. Opening the box, the pizza inside gone cold a long time ago. But neither of you cared as you ate and enjoyed whatever it was that was on TV. Neither of you keeping attention to it really as you kept talking about your days. Stu asked you how your exam went. Everything was forgiven by now. And if this was the outcome? Maybe you should piss him of more times now.

#stu macher x reader #stu macher imagine #stu macher smut #stu macher x you #stu macher #stu macher one shot #ghostface #ghostface x reader #ghostface smut #ghostface x you #bea's writing #scream #scream 1996

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plutosfallenangel · 1 year

Text

Random Moon Sign Observations | pt.II

(*based on personal experiences and opinions. look at the whole natal chart to gain complete insight, some aspects/house placements can make contradictions to the below information*)

• Scorpio Moon •

-always watching, taking it all in..

-knows most of the answers to questions before they ask

-dry humor (which I personally love)

-passionate about whatever they put their mind to, no half or 50% effort (they do have to be emotionally bonded to the person or hobbie/task, if not, they're redirecting their energy elsewhere)

-prone to becoming hyperfocused on one specific thing (most times to their detriment)

-mommy issues (but they don't talk about them, and hate when you assume you know the relationship dynamic, it's a very unique relationship dynamic and overtime it can grow to be stronger or more distant)

-deep conversations if they trust you, which is hard to gain. Trust is earned through sacrifice most times.. even if something small, they need to see you prove your loyalty and trust)

-the one I would call to bury a body (jokes pls)

-doesn't like to make assumptions, uses their earned knowledge on human behavior, they will study those around them like a case study, only to come to their own conclusions after seeing all the "facts". They can be extremely patient in this act too... they want to know you from the inside out

-sensitive to shifts in the mood, but again.. most times they will keep this information inside and watch, study you to see why it shifted

• Sagittarius moon •

-life of the party (unless heavy earth placements, bedtime comes sooner than later especially with age)

-will be the one you can call to come help you get your car stuck out of the mud, or go biking in the backwoods.. just down for anything and personally I love that about them

-can be too concerned about keeping the good times rolling, doesn't always directly express emotions.. but it's more like a dark joke, everything is turned into a joke, you just need to decipher it most times. And if it's not turned into a joke, they will laugh after they tell you horrible news. Imo a defense mechanism

-may lack boundaries when it comes to those they connect with emotionally, this isn't always a bad thing, they're coming from a place of exploration... like "how far can you and I go?" However sometimes I find they are the most capable of staying in bad situations, always trying to see the good in everyone

-can start a campfire with their bare hands, or atleast minimal tools, very attracted to fire.. find them near a fire all year round if its possible for them to do so

-can sometimes be sneakier than Scorpio moons.. when they set their eye on something in the distance that they want, they go about it most times in silence (this does depend on which house the moon is in)

-big lovers, big emotions, and larger than life dreams

-facial expressions for DAYS! I love how expressive they are.. warm smiles

-definitely rebellious in their younger years

-doesn't like to be tied down by family, but can adapt (most often moves away from mother)

• Capricorn moon •

- lives by the work hard, play harder motto

-always learns the hard way, doesn't like to take advice, rather learn through experience

-tells you like it is when you ask for relationship advice

-too many responsibilities when they were young, even if they had a good solid foundation growing up and were provided for, the expectations put on them were very heavy

-its never "how are you feeling", more "do you need anything?" and I love them for it

-happiest when they're putting themselves into something they can build on long-term, when they don't have that they can spiral FAST

-these people can drink.. and when I say drink, they're the ones to clear a 12-pack and act like they're still sober (from my experience lol)

-in my experience is much of a mommy's girl/boy as cancer moons are (esp when they're young.. they always want to take care of their mom)

-very in tune with the weather, I notice they most times have allergies or can feel a storm coming from how their body reacts

-big provider energy, but they can feel like they can't accept help from others, and end up toughing out the storm by themselves.. this is often from early childhood experiences that breed the need for extreme independence in some form

• Aquarius moon •

-they are on their own energetic wavelengths together, all aqua moons come here for a very specific reason that aligns with what society needs to be shifted/changed.. no matter how big or small the reputation they have they make an impact on those around them. Most are well-known in their local community

-big futures/big dreamers.. these people can see themselves 10 years down the road when you ask them where they'll be, they might not have a CLUE how to get there (depending on the rest of the chart) but they'll always have a sense of direction intuitively on how to get there

-can become way too overanalyzing of their own feelings and that of others.. over thinkers. They can have a hard time reading emotional encounters in the moment.. they need some time to brew with it, read into it, and for them it's easy to sit with these memories of emotion because aqua is a fixed sign

-there is an inner hermit that exists within all of them, do NOT disturb them during their hermit hours

-doesn't give much energy out to people who do them wrong, or atleast out loud to others. They love to share stories about other people, but aren't the first ones to bring up drama when it happens

-their mom is supportive of their endeavors and always wishes the best for them.. I've never met an aqua moon that didn't have a supportive mom (again this does depend on the whole chart, esp 12H moons)

-naturally creative, most I know are very passionate about creative projects and can easily bury themselves in one for long periods of time

-most times they hate having to cancel plans, not because they dont want to go, it's because they hate feeling like they let someone down

-if they invite you to their house, they will make sure you feel at home

-big social circles, few close friends that understand them

-loves to share their viewpoints, but can have bad memories lol they tend to "misplace" memories, you never know what will trigger an old forgotten memory to come up only to dissappear again

-very smart, loves YouTube videos, emotional comfort documentaries

• Pisces Moon •

-can become their mothers "mother" in a sense, their mom might rely on them a lot

-doesnt mind crying infront of others, and for me I admire this... let it out!! There's NO shame in it! (Just don't do it to manipulate others obv)

-vivid imagination, lucid dreamers, I have a 12H moon and often find myself bonding over dream stories with them

-doesn't mind disappearing until they feel up to being social, just don't forget to check in on them, they love compassion

-i often see when they share their emotions and unfortunate stories with others that it causes them to open up too, they love to hold emotional space for people especially those closest

-can often feel the "blame" from others even if it's not theirs, they can feel like they're always doing something wrong or someone is upset and it is because of them, which is most often not the case

-will decorate with a lot of pastels or a wide variety of colors in their home

-the best mentors in their life are women

-journals, journals, journals... let me into your mind palace

-soft poets, or amateur artists, this moon sign expresses a lot of emotion through art. Art helps them put a finger on how they're feeling. They channel divine messages and emotions through a craft, and even if it's not their own art they are connecting with, they will resonate with it and pass a message along to others that helps them understand something they need to at the time

-either early bedtime or no bedtime at all, creature of the night or morning star.. there's no in between with them

-being alone helps them process the most. Especially the shower lol they can process days worth of emotions in the shower I'm convinced

#astrology #astrology observations #astro observations #moon signs #astro community #astrology community #scorpio #scorpio moon #sagittarius moon #capricorn moon #aquarius moon #pisces moon

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lxclerc · 2 years

Text

𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 | 𝐦𝐯𝟑𝟑

SUMMARY: you think max dislikes you but as it turns out, it’s the complete opposite. REQUEST: not requested WARNING: none. tooth rotting kinda fluff that would have you calling your dentist to check for cavities PAIRING: single mom!reader x max verstappen, platonic!reader x lewis hamilton WORD COUNT: 6.2k

NOTE: idk what happened. one minute i was writing, the next i just reached the 5k words mark.

masterlist

As the PR person, part of your job is to follow Lewis around. For the most part, you enjoy it. Lewis is a great friend and despite your hectic schedule, the pay is great, definitely enough to provide for yourself and Lucas with lots more to spare. It was the opportunity of a lifetime and you were quick to grab it.

You mostly got along with everyone, mechanics, other PR teams and drivers alike. You’re a floater, always floating around the paddocks and making friends with anyone you find yourself with and so nearly everyone knows your name. Your bubbly nature is easy to get along with and you consider most of them your friends despite the team they’re in. Well, all except one.

You’re under the impression that Max Verstappen must hate you. Every time you try to approach him, he’s quick to turn the other way. Every time you try to start a conversation, he gives out one liners as answers and is quick to escape you. Eventually, you stop trying. You never want to invade his personal space or break his boundaries. You know you can’t get along with everyone and Max is known for his brash behavior and focus on the sport.

And in fact, you already have things to think about. Your job is a dream, a balance between travel and luxury. The people you meet and the sights you see are things money can’t buy but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Your son, only two years old, often travels with you most weekends along with your best friend but you know that different hotel rooms every week and barely a sense of stability is not the best thing for a toddler.

The thought of leaving the job you adore so very much causes you heartache though. You love the thrill and the travels. You love the people and the adrenaline. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows. You love it all, but at the same time, Lucas is always of the highest priority. Despite only having the job for less than four years, you’re already contemplating the possibility of quitting. You’ll find other jobs and sure, they probably won’t pay as much but you’ll be with Lucas, watching him grow up.

“You have that look in your eyes again,” Lewis comments as you wait for the press conference to start. You’re still in the Mercedes hospitality and you take advantage of the catering as you throw your good friend a questioning glance. “When you’re thinking too hard.”

Your relationship with Lewis has been a close one since you started your job. Being only twenty three years old, Lewis considers you almost as a little sister. Apart from Lucas, you have no family left and so you often spend your holidays and free time with the Hamiltons. You adore each and every one of them and Lewis is one of the most important people in your life.

“Just thinking about Lucas,” you said. Being a single, young mother meant that you often spend most of your time worrying about everything all at once and after the holidays is always the hardest, just as Lucas is beginning to get used to having you around all the time only for you to go away again.

Before Lewis can ease your worries, your phone alarms, reminding you that it’s time for you to head to the conference room to meet with the other PR personels. The rest of you always arrive before the drivers. You place down your drink and show Lewis your phone, already running out before he can say anything.

You shake your head to clear yourself of your thoughts, putting yourself back in work mode as you walk through the paddock. You suddenly curse yourself for not wearing a thicker jacket as you shiver from the european air.

At that moment, you catch sight of a certain red bull driver. And despite yourself, despite repeating again and again that it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t like you and that you should stop trying, you can’t help but approach him anyways. You plaster a smile on your face as you jog towards him.

“Hey,” you greet brightly. “How was your holiday?”

He nearly jumps at the sight of you beside him, immediately taking notice of your shivering figure. “Good.”

“Oh.” Your smile falters a little bit but you push through it. “That’s good! Good luck on the race tomorrow and see you around.”

And with that, you’re walking away.

Max never considered himself a shy person till you. The moment you stepped into the paddock with that bright smile on your face, you’re all his dreams come true. You carry yourself with such elegance that you have him following and anticipating your every move. The only problem? You wear your silver Mercedes shirt so proudly that you barely paid him any glance.

Pining after you for four years is probably pathetic at this point but there’s something about you that makes it nearly impossible for him to form more than short sentences. When you’re near him, your scent overtaking his senses, Max shuts down. His heart beats so fast that he can almost hear it.

Rushing to his driver's room, he pulls out a logoless jacket from his backpack, making sure there’s nothing about it that will show that it belongs to him. He’s relieved to find his own PR personnel still in the hospitality, just about getting ready to leave.

“Hey,” he says, handing his jacket. “Do you mind handing this to Y/N Y/L/N? Don’t tell her it’s from me.”

The red bull PR woman gave Max a knowing smile as she accepted the jacket. “You know, Max, you should try asking her out.”

Max says nothing. Everyone seems to know about his pathetic infatuation with you apart from you.

---

Max gets P1 but Carlos will be starting pole. You know that no one is happy with Mercedes’ performance today and so nearly everyone retires to their hotel rooms early including you.

That night, as your toddler refuses to go to sleep, the two of you find yourselves in the nearest convenience store, your hand firmly holding Lucas’ while his other hand grips his giraffe stuffed toy, sucking on a pacifier as you look around for snacks.

“Mommy!” Lucas screamed just as you let go of his hand to reach for the top shelf, already running to the next aisle to grab a pack of skittles. “Kittles!”

Your face scrunched up as you looked over at your son with the biggest grin on his face. “You really have no plans to sleep tonight, do you?”

If possible, his grin grows bigger. “Kittles?”

“Fine but only because you’ve been good all week.”

The way he ran to you to hug your legs in thanks is almost enough for the inevitable headache you’ll be having tomorrow after what will surely be a sleepless night. You pick Lucas up and place him on your hip. You were so occupied trying to understand the nutritional content of the belgian snack you’re holding that you hadn’t realized the person in front of you till you bumped into him.

“I’m so sorry–” you start to say only to find Max holding a box of condoms. “Oh. Hi, Max.”

“Y/N!” His voice is a little high pitched as he says your name, one you hadn’t known he even knew. He tries to hide the box of condoms behind him, cheeks immediately turning red. “It’s not– I’m not– It’s not for me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s alright, Max. It’s none of my business. And you should be celebrating getting the fastest time.”

If possible, your statement seems to only make him blush harder. “It’s really not! My trainer asked me to get it for him since I run out of shampoo and–”

“You really don’t have to explain yourself to me, Max,” you interrupt despite finding his flustered face to be one of the most adorable things you’ve seen. “If anything, it’s a good thing you’re being safe.”

“I swear it’s not for me.” God, Max really really hates the timing of the universe at that moment. He wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole. “My trainer asked me to get it since I’m already here anyways. You can even ask him to confirm tomorrow. I’m not sleeping with anyone. I don’t have a girlfriend. I haven’t even been on a date in three years much less sleep with anyone which sound really pathetic now that I say it out loud but–”

By some miracle, Lucas decides to save him more embarrassment as the toddler removes his pacifier to speak, clutching a giraffe stuffed toy and a small bag of skittles within one tiny hand. “I’m Wucas.”

“It’s Lucas,” you say softly, both to Max and your son. “He’s still struggling with his Ls.”

Max, with his tomato red face, takes a few moments to compose himself. He notices that you’re still wearing his jacket, the much too big piece of clothing hanging from your shoulders. You’ve ditched your Mercedes shirt and when you lean towards him for half a second, he can smell his own cologne clinging to you as you laugh.

“Hi, Lucas,” he says finally, greeting your son with a smile on his face. “I’m Max.”

“Maxie!” Lucas immediately dubs, trying to shake your arms off him as he attempts to crawl towards the red bull driver. Max throws you a panicked look as Lucas snuggles to his chest.

“Luke, wait–” you try to say but the two year old has no plans to listen, already settling himself in Max’s arms. It’s your turn to blush. “I’m so sorry, Max. Lucas, you can’t just jump to people without asking their permission first.”

Max smiles for the first time since you met him. Of course, you’re sure he’s smiled a ton of times since then but this would be the first time he’s smiled at you and definitely the first time he smiled for you.

“It’s alright,” Max assures you. After rambling about condoms and having revealed that he’s been suffering for blue balls the past four years (because of you since ever since meeting you, it seems as though Max is suddenly unable to form any sexual attraction with anyone and definitely unable to form any romantic attractions), he can’t help but feel much more at ease around you. “Are you guys done?”

You try not to pay too much attention to what the sight of Max holding Lucas does to you and instead hold up the Belgian snack you were inspecting along with bottles of water and Lucas’ skittles. “Just need to pay for these.”

“I can walk you back to the hotel,” he said, nervousness immediately creeping in the moment confusion formed in your face. “Only if you want, of course. I just meant I’m going the same way and it’s pretty late.”

For four years, you’ve been under the impression that Max holds a weird dislike at you. You’ve tried being nice to him, offering food, wishing him luck every weekend but you’re usually only met with one liners. You’re used to his obvious dismissal of you but you’re definitely not used to his sudden kindness.

However, you’re never one to turn down a good deed. It is late, you’re in a foreign country and you know that you’re staying in the same hotel. What’s wrong with accepting a concern offer?

You smile at him and Max could have sworn his heart stopped. “Sure,” you say. “Just give me a minute to pay for these.”

—

You weren’t even halfway to the hotel when the two of you heard Lucas’ small snores, his head on Max’s shoulder and tiny arms wrapped around the dutchman. You move to take him but Max assures you that it’s okay.

“Can I ask you something?” You say, hands fiddling with the strings of the jacket you’re wearing. Max nods. “Why don’t you like me?”

The surprise in Max’s face is evident as he faces you. “You think I don’t like you?”

When he’s asking it like that, as though the idea is ridiculous, you can’t help but feel a little ridiculous yourself. You feel like a teenager asking an idiotic question, but you force yourself to continue. “I mean I’ve tried getting to know you and you never seem interested.”

“I don’t dislike you,” he says slowly, hesitance clear in his voice. There’s something about tonight that makes him want to admit his feelings. “Quite the opposite, in fact.”

You notice the way his cheeks once again tint an obvious pink and you try not to think too much at the fact that he looks so natural holding Lucas in his arms, your son sleeping so comfortably. “What do you mean?”

“I like you a little too much,” he says quietly, looking at anywhere but you as he feels his blood rush to his cheeks. “I feel like a school boy with a crush when I’m talking to you and I never want to embarrass myself so I just don’t.”

Your breath hitched in your throat at his little confession. And Max thought he might as well continue while he still has the courage to. God knows when he’ll get the chance again. “Making a fool of myself in front of you is a genuine fear of mine and you make me so incredibly nervous.”

You stare at him as if he’s grown two heads. “I make you nervous?”

“Yes, very much. As shown earlier by my mouth running from me.”

“I have a son,” you say, almost mechanically. You’ve learned early on that men don’t like dating women with children. You can understand, of course. No one wants that added responsibility especially so early on in your lives so you just stopped dating altogether, focussing all of your time to work and Lucas.

A small smile spread across Max’s face. “I know and I don’t care. I’d love to get to know Lucas some more and you don’t have to answer now, but I’d really love to take you out to dinner. I’ve wanted to since the day I met you.”

“Max, I–”

“You don’t have to say anything now,” he interrupts. “Think about it and let me know tomorrow. Either way, I’ll respect your answer.”

—

The next morning, Lewis and Angela manage to convince you to bring Lucas to the paddock, the toddler all set up in Mercedes merch as he hangs from your hips or chases Roscoe around. Currently, you’re in Lewis’ drivers room with the two aforementioned people, Lucas bouncing on Lewis’ knee and Angela going through her ipad.

“Everyone knew, Y/N,” Lewis said after you filled them up about last night and Max. “Man looked like his puppy died the day he found out you were pregnant.”

“Who do you think has been leaving flowers for you every holiday?” Angela asked.

Every holiday whether it be the last day before christmas break or summer break, valentines day, a bouquet of flowers is always delivered to you, never with a card or even a clue of who it might be from. You always thought it’s from a mechanic, maybe one of the few who’d asked you out throughout your time working with them. The revelation that it was from Max was mind boggling to you. You began working as an intern in Mercedes four years ago, straight out of high school. Angela took a liking to you and took you right under her wing but you’ve only been actively working with them for three years after you took a year long break once Lucas was born and throughout it, you’ve always been under the impression that the dutchman dislikes you.

“Why did no one ever tell me?” You asked, your head spinning as Lucas’ giggles filled the room.

“No one actually thought it’d take him four years to own up to it,” Angela says. “And for the most part, I genuinely thought he’d gotten over it. He’s gotten a little more subtle when it comes to staring at you.”

At that moment, a knock was heard throughout the cramped space, making you stand up to find Max and another man clad in red bull merch on the other side of the door.

“Maxie!” Lucas exclaimed happily, immediately climbing out of Lewis’ lap and running to the dutchman. “Maxie! Maxie!”

Max chuckled, kneeling to pick up the little boy. “Hey, Luke. How are you doing?”

“Maxie, want your cap,” Lucas says, small hands already reaching for the red bull cap on Max’s head. For his part, Max didn’t hesitate at removing it, placing it on Lucas’ much smaller head.

“Traitor,” Lewis muttered from behind you guys, earning a chuckle out of everyone.

“Hey,” you greet. “What are you doing here?”

Max’s orange and blue looks out of place around the silver and white, so much so that the mechanics passing by stared at him.

“That would be because of me,” the man Max came with spoke up. “I’m Bradley, Max’s personal trainer. I hope we aren’t interrupting.”

You throw a glance at Max’s direction before offering your hand for Bradley to shake. “Nice to meet you, Bradley. I’m Y/N and no, you’re not interrupting. We’re just killing time before the drivers’ parade.”

“Oh trust me, I know all about you. Max doesn’t shut up about you–” Max, who was engaged in a conversation with Lucas (mainly consisting of him agreeing to everything the little boy said) reached forward to lightly smack Bradley on the back of his head. “I mean, I just came here to tell you that the condoms from last night are, in fact, mine and that Max is not seeing or even sleeping with anyone.”

You can’t help the genuine laugh that escaped past your lips as you realized the purpose of their visit. Max is still ridiculously focused on whatever Lucas is babbling about, making a point not to look at you as his cheeks burn bright red all the way to his neck and ears.

“Thank you for confirming that, Bradley, but I believed Max last night.”

Max turned to you, still not meeting your eyes. “Just making sure. It isn’t exactly the best look.”

You couldn’t help the flutter in your chest. Maybe Lewis and Angela are right. You should give this a chance. You deserve to fall in love, right? You deserve to be loved and cared for and adored. You go on your tiptoes, planting a soft kiss on Max’s cheek which left the dutch man in shock, his heart beating out of his chest.

“Good luck out there,” you said softly, prying Lucas away from him. “I’ll be rooting for you.”

“Go, Maxie!” Lucas shouted gleefully as Max stood stunned. Loving you from afar has always been thrilling but he’s not quite sure his heart could take loving you so close by.

A few hours later, after consoling a heartbroken Lewis and making sure he’s okay, you can’t help but cheer along with the red bull garage as Max crosses the checkered flags. Lucas jumps along with you, the two of you running out of the Mercedes Hospitality into the track.

“Maxie! Maxie!” Lucas screams happily as you carry him, hands clapping together excitedly and noise canceling headphones enveloping his small head. You’re sure you must look out of place in your Mercedes merch cheering along with the sea of orange and you’re sure that some fan would probably take a picture and post it on social media but still, you can’t help your excitement as Max climbs out of his car.

Max, in his own excitement and bliss, overjoyed at the sight of you cheering for him and Lucas screaming his name happily, red bull cap still on, seems to have completely forgotten about the camera as he ran towards you, wrapping both arms around the two of you as you laughed, accepting his embrace.

You’re sure the camera must have focused on you now and you’re sure everyone will be talking about it come tomorrow morning but you can’t find it in yourself to care as you laughed, letting him pull you both against his chest.

“Maxie, you went vroom vroom so fast!” Lucas exclaimed, hands wildly swinging about in his own excitement.

Max didn’t hesitate to take Lucas from your arms as though he’s done it a thousand times before and for some reason, you hadn’t hesitated handing your son to him as though it’s the most natural thing ever.

Beaming from ear to ear, you spoke up. “So about that dinner date.”

Max turned to you, hope and excitement clear in his eyes. “Yeah?”

“How does seven pm sound?”

Max’s grin stretched as he wrapped an arm around you again, feeling as though he’s at the top of the world. At that moment, he realized that nothing beats this. Nothing beats finally having you in his arms, you smiling at him as though he hangs the moon and the stars or the sound of Lucas screaming and cheering his name.

Not even a championship beats this feeling. “That sounds perfect.”

—

In the months you spend with Max, you begin hating yourself more and more for not catching on to his feelings sooner. Falling for him was inevitable. At the end of your first date, the two of you were already planning your second. By the end of your second date, you were both so giddy and happy that as soon as you got home, after putting Lucas to sleep, you and Max were on the phone, spending the night awake as you talked about everything and nothing all at once.

Your third date was unplanned with Lucas absolutely deciding that he can’t go to sleep unless Max is next to him, you were forced to call up the dutchman, sheepishly explaining the situation as you shyly invited him into your hotel room.

Max hadn’t even hesitated agreeing, already knocking on your door a minute later. The three of you spent the night watching disney movies till Lucas’ snores began, small body sprawled across Max’s chest. Your hands found each other under the blanket, tightly entwining.

“This is my favorite date,” he told you in the darkness, voice quiet as to not wake Lucas.

“Yeah,” you agreed, giving his hand a squeeze. “It might be mine too.”

Your fourth date was canceled. Max was called into red bull HQ, ending up with him giving you an apologetic call as the stewardess reminds him to put his phone on airplane mode as they’re about to take off. Max promised to call you as soon as he landed. He doesn’t end up calling till a few hours later, catching you by surprise as you accepted the facetime call and saw him wearing a suit and tie, candlelit dinner in front of him.

Still, he called you the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen at least two times throughout your virtual dinner despite the fact that you’re only wearing your pajamas and eating take out mcdonalds. The two of you fell asleep on facetime.

On your fifth date, Max insists on staying in and cooking for you and Lucas. Unfortunately, he’s pretty bad at cooking. Fortunately, he’s adorable and so you end up rescuing the mashed potatoes from him, Max slightly pouting as you order him to the side where he situated himself on the countertop, trying to salvage your dinner.

You move towards him, situating yourself between his legs as you cup his cheeks, making Max take a deep breath at your sudden closeness. Despite being with you, he still often finds himself in awe that he doesn’t need to pine after you from far away.

“You’re adorable,” you tell him with a smile, planting a small kiss on his jaw as his hands move to your hips, trying to pull you closer towards his body.

“Be my girlfriend?” He asked, trying to guide your lips against his.

“Yes,” you answer without the need to think about it. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Your lips were just about to touch when a pair of little arms wrapped around Max’s leg. Lucas, who was previously in the living room keeping busy with the miniature race cars Max bought for him, must have noticed that something was happening in the kitchen that he wants to be a part of.

“Maxie, mommy!” Lucas called, raising his arms up as a sign to pick him up. You do so, placing him on Max’s leg as the dutchman wrapped his arms around the two of you, placing his chin on the top of your head as you leaned against his shoulder.

“Hey, buddy,” Max greets your son.

Lucas practically glowed from Max’s attention as he held up his small Red Bull race car. “Maxie, look! Is you!”

Max plants a small kiss on the top of Lucas’ head and for a moment, you’re terrified of what could be. Your heart fears losing Max already despite only being official with him. The thought of losing this, the thought of losing this, feels all so terrifying for you as you watch the two of them.

Max seems to have caught your fear as he tightens his arms around you, meeting your eyes. “We’ll be okay. I’m never letting you go. I’m here till you want me here.”

You smile, melting into his touch as Lucas demands his attention again. Maybe you are making a mistake so quickly introducing Max into Lucas’ life. Maybe this will all be heartbreak with all three of you crying.

Or maybe it won’t. Maybe it’ll be okay after all.

Next week after that, you file your resignation letter with Lewis’ encouragement. You’ll be going back to university at the end of the season and Toto tells you that if you ever want to come back, you always have a place with them. You shed a tear or two as he offers you a hug.

That same morning, you walk into the paddock hand in hand with Max for the first time and you’re sure the three of you look a little ridiculous with you in your mercedes merch, Max in red bull and Lucas on his shoulder in both but your fear of people talking seems to be in vain as everyone else was more interested in making fun of Max rather than scrutinizing your relationship.

“And here I thought you’d never actually ask her out!” Daniel, to no one’s surprise, turns out to be Max’s biggest headache as he grins at the sight of the three of you.

But Max is unbothered by them all, far too happy with finally being able to love you in the open to care. “Me too, mate, me too.”

Four months after you and Max began dating, you find yourself moving into his Monaco home, the three of you spending your afternoons painting Lucas’ new room before his small birthday party in two days.

“Maxie, I want it red,” says your almost three year old. “I’m gonna be a racer one day like you!”

Max’s grin widened at your son’s announcement. You know this already as the two of them are already counting down till Lucas can start karting. “You sure will, Mijn liefde.” My love.

“I’m gonna drive for ferrari!”

At that announcement, Max turned to Lucas so fast that you feared he might get a whiplash. “For what?”

“Ferrari!” Lucas says as though he’s just cured cancer. “Uncle Charles said it’s the best team in the world.”

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the horrified look on Max’s face. Being with Max, you can’t help but be closer to the other drivers. Before, you didn’t really get much chance considering that Lewis rarely joins along, preferring to keep to himself and his close knit of friends but now, it’s clear to you that Max, Daniel, Charles and a bunch of other drivers hold a close friendship, especially those who all live in Monaco.

“Uncle Charles needs to keep his mouth shut,” Max says, looking genuinely stressed as he kneeled in front of Lucas, holding the grinning little boy down. Your son looks so much like you that Max can’t help but love him too but even if he didn’t, Max would love him anyway. Lucas looks up to Max. Anyone who’s ever seen the two together can see that and Max swore he’d be the best father figure in his life. “Don’t listen to uncle Charles, he’s just being a baby that my really fast Red Bull car beat him out of the championship. Ferrari is shit.”

You laugh, placing a hand on his shoulder in a faux attempt to comfort him. The entire situation is so amusing to you that you can’t even find it in yourself to scold him about cursing in front of a child.

“Ferrari is shit!” Lucas announced happily, a toothless grin showing as he threw himself at Max’s chest, the driver always ready to catch him.

“Lucas, that's a bad word,” you say but still, your grin is wide.

“No, no, wait,” Max says, holding your son in one arm as he pulls his phone out of his pocket, turning on the camera and pointing it at Lucas. “Say it again, Luke, but this time add ‘and red bull is better’.”

“Ferrari is shit and red bull is better!” Lucas was more than happy to oblige, always ready to do anything for Max’s praise and attention.

“Max!” You scold but your boyfriend only gives you a grin, mirroring Lucas’ so much that they almost look like they might be blood related.

Max sends the video to Charles, to which the monegasque replies with his own video message dramatically frowning and pretending to wipe nonexistent tears. “I’m very very offended, little Verstappen.”

You were so happy that you hadn’t even noticed the nickname the rest of the divers had given your son.

That night, as you both tuck Lucas in with Max reading him a story, the little boy on his chest and you leaning against his knee, you watch as Lucas tries to cuddle deeper into Max’s chest, his tiny hands clutching at the driver’s shirt as Max’s voice become quieter and quieter as he finishes reading.

Seeing Lucas grow up heals your inner child. Seeing him with everything you didn’t get, with the love and affection you craved but didn’t have makes you feel as though you’re doing something right. Even his room, from his rotating planet nightlights to the lego formula 1 cars on his shelf and the books lining his walls. He has everything he could need and want and more and you almost want to cry at the thought that you were able to provide him all of this.

Max seems to be overcome with his own emotions as he watches the little boy sleep in awe, hand reaching forward to gently push back Lucas’ hair as though he couldn’t quite believe that something so beautiful is in his arms.

Planting a soft kiss on the top of Lucas’ head, the two of you move to leave his room but Lucas’ hold on Max only tightens as Max tries to unclench his fist.

“I don’t think he wants to let go,” Max told you quietly as Lucas shifts, snuggling closer to Max’s body like a moth drawn to the flame.

“No, daddy,” the little boy muttered sleepily, objecting to Max’s attempt to move away, causing you and Max to immediately halt your movements.

“Did he just–” Max begins and you feel your head spinning.

You love Max and if there’s something in this world that you’re sure of, is that he loves you and Lucas too. He’s always shown it and never failed to let you know but above all, your son is your priority. The thought of you and Max not working out and Lucas being left heartbroken fills you with so much dread. You know Max will never purposely hurt you or Lucas but sometimes things just happen, relationships just fail and people just fall out of love. There’s nothing certain in this world and less of all, a man. You learned that the hard way and you never want Lucas to learn it too.

You feel Max’s hand softly placed on your cheek, seemingly having read all of your thoughts and fears from your eyes. “I’m not going to promise you anything because promises mean nothing but I will show you. I will show you that if you’ll let me, I’m more than ready to be the best father Lucas needs and I’m here to stay hopefully forever. I’m all in, Y/N. I love you and I love him more than I ever thought possible.”

You face him, leaning into his touch as you hold his hand on your cheek, placing a kiss on his palm. He’s right, he can’t promise you anything but you’re willing to give him the chance to show you. “Okay.”

—

The next race weekend, you found yourself sitting in a lounge chair in Monaco as Max and Checo do PR (something that involves ducks and a pool) along with the Red Bull Marketing, your laptop fired up as you edit things to post for the official Mercedes instagram later. Some must still find it weird, you in your Merc merch following Max around in your free time but most of them are used to it, even welcoming you and considering you a friend now.

On the chair next to you, Lucas had his afternoon nap, now three years old, sucking on his thumb as the world about him goes around. He rarely ever misses a weekend now, usually with you or Max. He promises to be on his best behavior so long as you let him come with you and for the most part, he’s kept the promise.

“Oh hey!” Max exclaimed happily, his face lighting up at the sight of the fish toy. “We got this thing at home!”

You looked up at his statement, immediately recognizing the sight of the yellow fish toy that you both love and hate. For the most part, it makes bath time so much easier but at the same time, if you have to hear baby shark one more time, you think you might just lose your mind.

As if on cue, your boyfriend put his hands on his hips, a smile painting his face. “Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. It’s when my son is having a bath that we have that thing.”

Your eyes widened, seemingly along with everyone else’s. The fans know you and know Lucas, a newest fan favorite with his appearances in the paddock screaming Maxie in the happiest voice but Max had never actually called the little boy his son. Lucas has always been your son in everyone else’s eyes and yet Max’s so very casual and natural admittance of the mere fact had your heart bursting.

Max’s loud laughter as he sang baby shark must have woken Lucas as his eyes fluttered open, looking around. Jealousy almost blossomed in your chest in the way your son’s eyes barely glanced in your direction before stopping on Max’s figure if only you weren’t so grateful that he’s getting such a loving father.

“Daddy!” Lucas called, cutting Max off mid sentence as the little boy jumped to his feet, running towards the dutchman, who’s kneeling by the pool side tinkering with the toy fish.

“Luke!” You called, trying to stop him but one of the Red Bull Marketing only smiled at you, letting you know it’s okay as Max picked up Lucas.

“It’s okay, we’re almost done anyways,” the red bull personnel let you know and you thought that for a team that’s so hated, they’ve always been so kind and understanding to you.

“Hey, bud, I thought you were sleeping?” Max asked, voice immediately becoming softer as he pushed back Lucas’ hair, trying to see if there’s anything wrong.

“Hi, uncle Checo,” Lucas muttered sleepily, ignoring Max's question, giving the Mexican a small wave as he rested his head on his father’s shoulder.

“Hi, little Verstappen,” Checo smiles.

You stand up, approaching them as you try to get Lucas back but your son only holds on to Max tighter before you can even reach them, his eyes sleepy and fluttering shut. “Stay with daddy.”

“Can he stay with me?” Max asks you and the marketing team in charge.

“No problem, we’re done anyways,” they said with a smile.

“Are you sure?” You asked, still out of the camera’s view.

Max only smiles at you as he shifts Lucas’ weight to one arm. “Ja, mijn liefste.” Yes, my love.

You’ve heard that sentence enough to understand it as you hesitantly returned to your seat and they continued their filming, a sleeping Lucas now hanging by Max’s side. They continue filming, saying their goodbyes to the camera as you pack up yours and Lucas’ things.

“And that’s all,” the red bull marketing said, cutting the cameras as Max walked over to you, his free arm wrapping around your waist.

“If I didn’t love the two of you so much, I would have been jealous with his obvious favoritism to you,” you joke as you lean to his touch, causing Max to laugh out loud.

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ageofevermore · 11 months

Text

ITS BRIGHTER NOW

SUMMARY — until you met your girls, you once believed love would be burning red, but it turns out, it’s everything in between, and that couldn’t be more golden. i wanna be defined by the things that i love, not the things i hate, not the things that i’m afraid of, not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night, i just think that you are what you love

PROMPTS — “sorry, we didn’t mean to wake you” & “will you stay with me?”

WARNINGS — mentions of battle, injury, anxiety, overall just fluff and comfort for arguably the best avengers and their girlfriend

Like every relationship, yours has its ups and downs. Although most times, you’re met with nothing but outstanding partners who try their absolute hardest to maintain open communication and boundaries, they’re still human, and Avengers, and while some consider that a fairytale circumstance, not many stop to think about how challenging it can be at its worst moments. Not many people, or any at all who aren’t in the lifestyle or one similar, think about how they’re gone for days at a time, sometimes weeks or months if it’s an undercover mission, and how when they finally do get back, they’re never the same as how they left. But honestly, how could they be? They’ve done things no average citizen would ever be expected to do, seen things and handled situations that are dangerous and traumatizing, and just like anyone else, those things haunt them. Wanda is better about unpacking those skeletons in her closet then Natasha is, but the both of them take things personally, and if things go south, it’s never good.

Both of your girlfriends had been gone from the compound for days. They’d been called out to an active Hydra base in Russia, and three days later, things had gone south and they’d been in active combat since. You didn’t talk to them much, with battles and timezones and everything else that got in your way, but you had heard through the grapevine that Wanda was pretty banged up and Natasha had been left with no choice but to shoot to kill after a particularly gruesome fight. Hearing that never got any easier, especially when they were halfway across the world and had no idea when they’d return. It was missions like these that made you yearn for a simpler life. One where Wanda was an artist, Natasha probably took up something flexible like tattooing, and you did literally anything else to just have some peace and quiet and promised safety.

You had met Natasha first, after Maria recruited you to join Shield. She had been skeptical of you, as she was of everyone, but you broke down her walls as easily as you’d picked the lock to Clint’s farm the one time you were placed on a strike mission together. She had been hurt pretty badly, and his farm was the closest place to land. That had been an interesting day, no thanks to your girlfriend who was draped across your arm with a shallow bullet wound and a startled Laura who was screeching about blood on her new couch. Things with Clint were still chaotic as ever, but he eventually got over you busting his brand new lock, and the two of you joked about it now, although now you had a key so no locks had to be busted in the event of an unplanned visit happening again. When you met Wanda, she fell into your dynamic easily, and at first, neither you nor Natasha had realized that you’d kind of adopted her as a third girlfriend until a drunken night when she ended up in your bed and never left. Now, sleeping without them is hard, but you’re forced to manage as best as you can, seeing as you don't really have much of a choice.

It was going onto the sixth night without them home when you finally retired from the couch, and decided to head to bed, figuring that at two in the morning there was no chance of them coming back until the next morning at the earliest. It was hard enough when one of them was on an active mission with no return date, but when both of them were gone, it truly felt like your heart was missing from your chest and you were just going through the motions and holding your breath until they got back. Most people only had one person to worry about, but having two people to lose, with jobs in this line of work, you felt like you were always looking over your shoulder and expecting the worst. As often as they could, your girlfriends declined missions together, even though they felt comfortable on the battlefield together and it was a comfort to not be alone, but neither one of them wanted to risk not coming home to you. They didn’t have a choice this time, so reluctantly they packed up their duffles and headed for the quinjet, with a kiss on your head and a promise that they would fight to come home to you, that they would try to make it back. There were still two mugs of tea on the countertop in the mini kitchen, and although it was disgusting and the tea had gone bad, you couldn’t bring yourself to clean them up. If that was the last thing they ever touched with you, when they were just Wanda and Natasha and not Avengers, you wanted the picture of mismatched mugs burned into your eyelids for the rest of your life. They deserved to be remembered as real, genuine, soft and stubborn, sometimes infuriating but lovable and loved people, not just heroes who had a cause when things went south.

You tossed and turned for probably an hour, groaning in annoyance for how empty your bed felt without them. How had you gotten so attached? That was the one thing you’d tried your hardest not to do when you got into this, and yet here you are, in Natasha’s t-shirt and Wanda’s panties, unable to sleep because the bed feels too cold and the walls feel too big and the room feels too empty and your heart feels misplaced. You’d heard somebody say love is golden once, not burning red, and you’d never understood that until a moment like this a few years ago, when Natasha left for the first time and you were utterly alone in the tower. They were golden, they were light, they were pouring rain in the middle of the day with the sun shining and not a cloud in sight, and they are the best moments of your life that you wish you could frame in a moving picture, because no, a picture can’t say a million words when it’s them. You need every word in the dictionary and then some. You will never be able to elaborate on how much you love them without falling short, and feeling like there's still so much you could’ve said. Everything felt so gray without them. It had to be after three in the morning when you finally fell asleep, probably closer to four, but you didn’t think about how long you’d been waiting up for them, just flopped onto your back and sprawled out like a starfish, and let sleep take over so you could have a few hours without consciously missing them. Missing them was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do.

You’re pulled from your sleep by hushed voices and a door closing, convinced that the hinges are louder at inappropriate times just to spite you. You try to ignore it at first, finally in a comfortable position and getting some rest after a long day of running trials with Cho, but the noises persist despite your displeasure. A sound between a groan and a whine is extracted from your chest when something bumps into the bed, and any thought of going back to sleep leaves your mind. Unlike your girlfriends who can sleep through a natural disaster and fall asleep again if god forbid it wakes them up, once your eyes open you’re awake for the day, and it seems like this is where your day starts.

Although with blurred vision from the very few hours of sleep in your eyes, you’re able make out Wanda hunched over the bed, grasping at her side that is noticeably bloody, while Natasha is digging through the drawers to your left probably attempting to find a loose fitting top for Wanda to change into. All exhaustion leaves your body at the sight of them, and you spring up, rubbing your eyes with a wince as they burn in disagreement with your current state of consciousness. Wanda’s head snaps up, on high alert, but she forces her shoulders to relax when she realizes that it’s just you and not a threat.

“Sorry, we didn’t want to wake you.” She apologizes weakly, through clenched teeth and apparent sleepiness. You wonder when the last time they got a decent amount of rest, when they weren’t looking over their shoulders in paranoia or tossing and turning in pain from an injury that couldn’t be properly treated, but you force yourself to not dwell on it too much. You can’t change the past, and neither can they, all that matters is how they recover, and how they need you to help them heal from everything they were exposed to while in Russia. You’re the clean up, another factor that nobody considers while talking about how romantic and protected you must feel having two superheroes as partners. If anything, you feel more exposed. Like all eyes are on you and a monster is always lurking in the room over.

“No, no that’s okay. I only went to sleep a few hours ago, anyway. Here.” You know that the shirt Natasha is probably looking for is the one currently on your body, and you offer it to Wanda with no hesitation, already making a b-line for her when she just barely has the strength to reach for it herself. You pull the bloodied top over her head gently, thankful that the blood it’s soaked with is dry, and her wound is covered in gauze, meaning they’d probably stopped by the medbay before they made their way in here. “A little banged up, aren’t you?” You comment, although it's rhetorical and you know she won’t tell you how it happened just yet. That usually comes a few days after the mission, when the trauma isn’t so fresh and they’re not still on edge that something else is coming for them. You help her out of her pants as well, thanking Natasha when she hands you a fresh pair of undergarments to pull up Wanda’s legs before you even have to ask.

“We’re still in one piece.” Natasha promises, coming up behind you and wrapping her arms around your waist. She’s tense all over, but she does her best to relax as she holds you, grounding herself in the moment and not the nightmares that have been going around in circles in her mind since getting on the quinjet to come home. “We missed you.” She kisses the skin beneath your ear, lingering for a few seconds before she untangles herself completely and gets ready for bed herself.

“That’s all that matters.” You reassure her, pecking Wanda’s lips gently, knowing she doesn’t have the energy or the strength to match any moment of passion right now. It’s not something that bothers you, maybe it used to, just the slightest bit, but it’s a routine you’re used to now. “I missed you too.”

“I told Steve we’re not taking any missions for a while. Especially not together.” Natasha hands you another one of her tops to slip into, and watches you throw Wanda’s bloodied one into the garbage beside your vanity. She won’t wear it again, not when it’s got so much history now, even if you could get the blood stain out. Again, it’s a routine you’ve found comfort in. The clothes they return home in almost always end up in the garbage, no time for working through PTSD that’s stitched into the fabric when you can just get something new to start fresh in.

“That’s good. I heard from Maria how tough this one was. I don’t know if I slept much the first few days.” You hate to worry them, or make them feel bad, but they hate when you’re not honest with them, and there’s nothing any of you can do about them being sent out on missions, so it’s not like you’re haroboring negative feelings toward them directly, which they understand, but your girlfriends do a great job of beating themselves up about certain things out of their control, this being one of them.

“Or at all. We still have cameras, you know.” Natasha muses, thoroughly amused when you turn a deep shade of crimson and kick Wanda’s discarded pants up toward her. Your other girlfriend, who has been noticeably quiet through the entire exchange, is curled up in bed, looking unbothered by the conversation but intent on finally getting some sleep in her own bed without the possibility of being blown to bits by the enemy.

“Spying on me, are you Romanoff?” You tease, shutting all the drawers Natasha left open and picking up all of her discarded clothes to throw them in the bin as well. She thanks you silently with her eyes that are practically bleeding with pain and adoration, but you don’t say anything. This is the least you can do for them right now.

“Gotta keep an eye on my girl.” Although it’s an easy statement, you know that it’s riddled with nothing but genuine anxiety. Both of your girlfriends are worrywarts when it comes to leaving you alone, for any amount of time but especially undetermined chunks like this mission, and although its heartwarming to be so cared for, it breaks your heart to know that they have valid reasons to be afraid. Another thing nobody even considers when they make comments toward your relationship. Wanda makes a huffing sound beside Natasha and both of your lips twitch in amusement, “On one of my girls, sorry, malysh.”

“You both should get some rest.” You comment, seeing that almost an hour has passed since they stumbled in. You won’t be able to fall asleep again, and even if you could, you’re apprehensive to crawl into bed with Wanda and accidentally hurt her more, so you have all intentions of wishing them a goodnight and going to finally clean up the mugs of tea that are resting on the counter.

“Where are you going?” Natasha wonders, watching you closely, like she’s scared that you’re going to fall apart right in front of her. You hate these moments, when they’re first getting back and they still feel like they’re stranded in a battlefield. It takes days to get back to some kind of normalcy without walking on eggshells, and by that time, they’re usually cleared to start training again and working their strength up for the next mission. One day, you just want to be done, but they’re not ready yet and that's okay.

“To clean up the tea mugs you left before you went. I didn’t have the heart to clean them up, in case…” You train off, but Natasha knows what you’re going to say and her face sinks even deeper.

“In case we didn’t come back.” She finishes your thought, hand rubbing Wanda’s back now that the woman is on her belly, seeking pressure against her wound that’s probably aching beneath the gauze. She shouldn’t be putting any pressure on it, but you’re not about to scold her right now. She needs to be comfortable, any torn stitches can easily be mended tomorrow morning when she’s well rested.

“Yeah.” You breathe out, releasing the tension that gathered in your shoulders at the simple thought of losing them. They’re okay this time, you can let go of all that pent up anxiety and dread for the time being. But it crosses your mind that there's always next time, and they might not get so lucky.

“Will you stay with me? Please?” Wanda asks, voice muffled by the pillow her face is pressed into, her arms beneath her head as she gives Natasha full access to her back, and the aching muscles that have probably been pulled a couple thousand times since leaving. Natasha works harder at releasing some of that tension, looking at you with broken eyes that you can’t say no too. Your worries are squandered when Wanda speaks again, lifting her head just enough to be able to see your face, peering into your eyes with a passion and seriousness that burns you inside. “You won’t hurt me, stop thinking that. I just want to hold my girl.”

“Ahem.” Natasha clears her throat, and Wanda lets the slightest smile pull her tired lips upward.

“One of my girls, sorry, detka.” She apologies before dropping her face back into the pillow, tightening her grip on it when Natasha hits a sore spot in her back. The redhead keeps at it, knowing how easily the Sokovian can pull her muscles when she’s lifting heavy things with just her tendrils.

“Are my thoughts that loud?” You ask meekly, abandoning your intention of straightening up the kitchen and instead coming closer to the end bed, still without pants and just Natasha’s shirt that hangs to your mid thigh.

Natasha stops rubbing Wanda’s back in order to grab at your thighs and pull you closer, rubbing the skin of your legs the same way she had been rubbing Wanda’s back. Though she’ll never admit it, you and Wanda have a sneaking suspicion her love language is physical touch, and that just maybe, physically feeling you both silences her anxieties over you just disappearing from her. Whatever her reason, neither of you protest, and admittedly crave her touch by the end of the night when you crawl into bed.

“Mhmm, I promise I’m okay. Doesn’t really hurt anymore, s’just sore.” She promised, sounding half asleep the longer she lays, adjusting her head so her neck is turned toward both you and Natasha, but her eyes are closed, a content smirk on her lips that only grows bigger when she hears you sigh your agreeance and then feels the bed dip with your weight as you climb into bed.

“Lay your ass down, or I’m gonna fall asleep sitting up.” Natasha scolds, playfully slapping your ass as you crawl over her and into the center of the bed, which is no longer warm from your body. You settle in between them, humming contently when Wanda loops an arm around your waist and then Natasha pulled you into her chest, your legs intertangling messily beneath the sheets.

“I missed this. I can’t sleep when you’re gone, everything feels so empty.” You admit, letting your eyes close even if you’re going to have a few hours of painful silence and stillness before you can even consider actually falling asleep.

Natasha presses her lips into your head and Wanda tightens her arm around your middle, neither saying anything, but not having to as their words and their presence says it all. Surprisingly, you fall asleep in minutes, and not a single one of you wakes up for the next ten hours, desperately needing the rest all together again.

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