Long time no see. Krueger/Nikto, but make it two versions. ♥

Freier Fall (2013)

Hey lovely Cero! :)

I was thinking about Nikto (like so often) and I was wondering: What makes him push through in your opinion? What keeps him going? I mean, considering what he went through and the abundance of conditions he has to live with - how is he able to go forward like this with so much drive? I think he's so incredibly strong. Others in his situation would've probably given up long ago and maby wouldn't have even survived the torture and everything that came with it. But he's here - living, breathing and kicking it. He might have a few (or many) screws loose and is a very complex man, but I admire him a lot for his strength and resilience.

I bet he wouldn't like to hear this sappy shit, but I'm putting it into the secret love letter in my head for him. ^^

Hi, lovely anon! That's a good question. I think for the most part it's actually out of spite. Not in a 'performative, edgy' way because Nikto is certainly not going to brag about it, but just "I'll keep going since none of this shit actually managed to kill me".

He is strong and resilient given all the shit he's been through, he just doesn't navigate his (multiple layers of) trauma in a healthy way.

Krueger already half naked while Nikto still has 5 layers of gear on because :)

Hello Cero. I recently found Staysold on Spotify, in a Nikto playlist and I can agree that it is music he would listen to, since it's just noise. (No idea if you're familiar.) And you once mentioned your hc on what Nikto be listening to.

What about Krueger tho? What kind of music does he like?

Oh I'm glad you asked for krueger BECAUUUSE in my insanely specific headcanon of him having been a freeparty guy, he's particularly into acid techno/frenchcore and the likes. we're talking big TB-303 basslines and 6+ minutes track you listen to out of a massive sound system in the woods. Like this, or this. This whole set. Or speed/hardcore such as this. Or more recent techno like this.

Krueger sketches (that finished off my 0.1mm micron pen)

hm..

banging fists on table NIKTO

SHASHAHS WHY HE'S SO HARD TO DRAW,,,,,??

Not only do I blame you for sending me down the KN rabbit hole, but now you've got me making grabby hands at Kapkan. The brainrot is real 👀

If you feel up for it, I'd love to hear more about him, specifically your niche HCs that you've maybe never had an opportunity to share. Those are always the most fun!

-🦊

HEHEHE oh it is my pleasure!!. I don't think I've ever actually written a handful of my Kapkan headcanons, so here goes!

Deft hands. He likes crafting things, repairing them, carving stuff in wood, etc. He's actually quite a skilled artist, but refuses to acknowledge it (to Timur's greatest dismay)

Loudest sneezes in the entire world maybe. even Tachanka can't compete

Rarely ever listens to music, and is very picky about it. But ask him 'what would you like to listen?' and he's unable to answer (he would rather just listen to birds and the wind in the trees. Thank you)

He's patient, but needs to do and see hard work. He's strict with himself and he also is with others, although he's a really good "teacher" in pretty much any field

Extremely tied to how this gorgeous fic depicts him, family is complicated but deeply rooted in him

His emotions are kinda stunted. He's stubborn about it due to his education, but deep inside he actively works (against himself) to let himself openly feel more

Good cook. Very opinionated about food.

Good day to you.

I have a question considering Nikto's past. His bio stats, he wears the mask to hide his deformed face. Why would he hide it if he doesn't care about it? Or does he care about it? Do you have any hc about the time between Mr Z. and Coalition? Like, how did he handle his deformation in the beginning AND the diagnosis of his mental illness?

Hello 👋 Well, for a fact I think Nikto cares about it. A lot. If you ask pretty much anyone who sustained serious face injuries, I think you'll hear the same thing: having your face altered/"losing" your face feels like you're losing your identity. For Nikto, on top of that, it's the aftermath (and reminder) of his torture and therefore the starting point of a lot of PTSD-induced troubles and outbursts or worsening of issues he already had. My own Nikto headcanon specifically (amidst other things) sustained semi-extensive chemical burns so first of all the recovery took very long. He saw his face without bandages after several months. And given that it is the stigmata of his torture, I do think he finds sort of a morbid satisfaction/complacency in - literally - not having the same face, ie. not the same identity, as the man he was before; that he considers to be an entire other person estranged from who he is now.

The mask wearing is both to protect him (after all it's a ballistic mask in the first place) but also because it's comforting to him. He abhors people looking at him and seeing the wonder, or worse, the pity in their eyes. He cares less about it when he's with his team/people he knows, but his "relationship" to his own face is... Complicated and fluctuant.

I am no Chaplain, but I'd be curious to test if something I read is true.

meanwhile, kotallo going through the 5 stages of grief:

KOTALLO - WHAT WAS LOST Horizon Forbidden West

*Buh-link*

GIFs of Noshir-- i mean Kotallo blinking because 😍😊😍😊😍😊 It's so cuuuuuuuute 😭😭😭