im annoyed and a little pedantic so can i just say as a blanket statement

queerbaiting is when the promotion for a FICTIONAL STORY intentionally hints towards two characters having a romantic relationship, without any intention to follow through in the show, in order to get queer people watching without discouraging the homophobic enjoyers of the show

queerbaiting is NOT:

a celebrity who you think is queer because theyre gnc or they have a 'vibe'. that is a real person and they cannot queerbait

two friends of the same gender pretending to flirt with each other for fun. those are real people and they cannot queerbait

a show with two characters of the same gender who are canonically friends that YOU PERSONALLY think would be better in a relationship. that's not bating, that's shipping, and subject to opinion

there are more but those are the main examples of people misunderstanding what queerbaiting is and being mad at something that isn't actually a problem

See, I actually agree that Destiel is probably the more iconic gay ship, but all of the reasons that it's iconic are terrible. This is a show whose writers were so dedicated to queerbaiting their audience that they no-homoed a dying love confession. That's surely an achievement, but it's not one to be proud of!

I don't know when everyone somehow collectively forgot the actual definition of queerbaiting but like... yall know queerbaiting was never about REAL PEOPLE'S actual identities right? It's about the MEDIA they put out.

Queerbaiting is when media hints that there will be queer rep to lure in a queer audience with no intention of ever delivering on that rep.

Queerbaiting is NOT when a celebrity experiments with gender or sexuality without coming out. They are allowed to explore!

Queerbaiting is NOT when an author writes a queer book without explicitly stating they share the same sexual or gender identity!

Queer media is NOT queerbaiting just because you don't know the creator's sexuality or assigned gender at birth!

Is the media explicitly queer? Then it's not queerbaiting! Simple as that! No one owes you an explanation of their own identity, full stop.

Marvel will literally put a guy on top of another guy, chest on chest, and swear on their life they're not gay. BFFR

lately I've come across a couple people both here and on tiktok that are now getting into supernatural and basically going "woah you destiel shippers were not kidding, I always thought you were probably exaggerating". And it's like we definetely were not, but I also wonder where this reaction comes from and I think I've got it.

We all know what fandom is, especially if we're talking about non-canon ships. We take the subtext and make it textual, we live in the crevices of stolen glances and romantic paralels. But most of the time there's another (straight) canon ship that the writers can use to queerbait us, being like "see? this is who he really wants". Take BBC Merlin, for example: the devotion and closeness between Merlin and Arthur is obvious, but it's easy to point at Arthur's feelings for Gwen and say "see? this is what's real. you're reading too much into it".

Destiel doesn't have one. The very (mysoginistic) nature of the show means neither Dean nor Cas have any significant relationships the writers could point to and show us the "truth" so there is nothing to distract from what's obviously happening on our screens. There is no great romantic storyline to tell us "this is who he really wants" so they are all that it's left and what's between them becomes undeniable. What's even worse, the other main relationship in the show is as platonic as you can get because Sam and Dean are related (let's ignore the existence of wincest please and thank you), so the difference between Dean's relationship with Sam and his relationship with Cas is so stark, so obvious, that is hard to even begin to compare them and try to paint them both with the same brush.

I know I'm just rambling but would love to hear your thoughts on it.

what i love for the live action ATLA is that the fandom is fully aware that sokka and zuko's actors are queerbaiting us, but every post is like "YESS!!!! TRICK US HARDER!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!"

...Maybe queerbaiting can only ever mean homobaiting or transspecbaiting

Idk don't kill me those are just cans of worms

Queerbaiting sucks... but

I find it so affirming as a person who struggles with their romantic orientatation. I just live for that state of not quite friends/not quite lovers.

Like yes, they are partners, yes, they live and die for eachother, yes, every other relationship they have loses all meaning compared to them. But also no, they haven't kissed, and they don't want to kiss, and yet, somehow, every single word, every single glance, every single touch carries so much meaning and conveys so much love because this amount of platonic love is usually unheard of and they don't want the other to misunderstand. And I just- aaah, it gives me so much hope and reminds me that romantic love isn’t the only type of love worth experiencing and showing on screen/paper.

I do wish it was done intentionally and wasn’t just a product of homophobia and capitalism. Like I really, really hate the reason I get this representation. Like, it also leaves a somewhat sour taste in my mouth, because I can see that if the world was more accepting, it would probably be a romantic relationship.

(I sometimes see people calling queercoding queerbaiting, and just to make it clear, that isn't what i'm talking about)

Queerbaiting at its finest

As a multi-shipping bisexual person who has been crying tears of joy for the past two episodes over the bi-buck story arc - I need you all to know that the weirder you guys are about it (and let's be real right now, you guys are being INCREDIBLY weird about it), the more uncomfortable I, an actual real life queer person, get with Buddie.

I genuinely love Buddie, one of my all time favorite fics across any fandom is "My Fingerprints Smeared on Your Heart", but I'm very hesitant to believe it will ever happen. So when ABC brings in Tommy and starts a VERY WELL WRITTEN and BEAUTIFUL queer story that UPLIFTS MY HEART and then I go into fan spaces to see people trashing on BuckTommy, or screaming "no Buck thats the wrong guy", or wanting the relationship to end with Buck cheating (which is incredibly biphobic btw) with Eddie, or implying/hoping that Tommy is an abuser that Buck can be saved from by Eddie, or any of the countless other scenarios that turn Buck's happily-and-safely-exploring-his-sexuality arc into small-or-traumatic plot point for the purpose of making Buddie canon it makes me feel deeply uncomfortable with Buddie and my fellow 911 fans. And that makes me sad, because I love fan spaces and I love interacting with people who like the same things as me!

Also, please learn the difference between queerbaiting and queer coding.

kit conner isn’t queerbaiting you.

billie ellish isn’t queerbaiting you.

taylor swift isn’t queerbaiting you.

harry styles isn’t queerbaiting you.

REAL PEOPLE ARENT QUEERBAITING YOU!! it’s a term used in media literacy. no one owes you an explanation about their sexuality.

just been seeing some posts today

id rather be queerbaited than watch a show full of very toxicly straight people

maybe two bottoms do make a top

if you think forcing an 18yo to come out before he is ready is activism, then just go fuck yourself. you're not helping the community, you're not helping anyone. you're just a bully.